#just sharing in case it helps anyone

[thequeenofthewinter]

Some days are harder than others; some weeks feel like years. We persist in any way we can regardless.

Before you go any farther, this is a mental health post. I suffer from PMDD, and I have had (technically still having) perhaps one of the worst bouts of poor mental health in the past week that I have had in perhaps a year. If any of you out there have it as well, you know the deal. It feels like an eternity of scratching at the walls of the prison your mind creates for yourself. One minute you’re perfectly fine and the next, you’re crying because the wind is blowing in the wrong direction. You don’t want to do anything that normally brings you joy. Your brain tells you that you’re awful, so why should you try? I have felt like this since last Wednesday.

If you’ve tagged me in anything in the past few days, I love you and appreciate you, but I just haven’t been able to answer. I still don’t know how I motivated myself to write this post. Maybe because I know more of you are out there persisting, growing through the cracks in the pavement, blooming in the desert despite no rain.

Today, I ran 2k for the first time in a while. (My husband dragged my sorry ass out of the house.) I continued one foot after the other. Maybe it wasn’t my best time, but I did it. Friday I picked at some 100 words. Is that anything to write home about? No. Many people write more words, but I did them in spite of the emotional weight I felt.

You’re not alone, and you can do this. We can do this. Every step in a positive direction, no matter how small, is a good step. Do what you can and persist.

[autisticaftonsparv]

not to be That Guy while we’re all suicide posting about the election but for anyone who needs it, there is a crisis text line called thrive lifeline that is mostly staffed by members of minority groups and is completely non carceral (meaning they won’t call the cops unless you specifically ask them to). it’s only 18+ though so keep that in mind

the number is 3136628209

please stay safe today everyone

[chaos-in-one]

A few fox-y hugs for the syscoursers, feel like a lot of people here could use it today

[cloudfishh]

When your fandom so small you start reading actual fucking historical sources bc you crave more content 💔💔

[edge-oftheworld]

I don’t really talk about it much on here because I’m extremely lucky to be able to understand exactly what’s going on in my body, but it’s scary to live for years as someone who Gets Things Done in a way your peers don’t really understand, be putting effort into so many things you care about, and then suddenly lose the ability to do not only that but also basic tasks overnight after a deadline, and bit by bit after many. it’s scary getting really irritable sometimes to the point of violence, just when you were meant to be celebrating the rewards from your hard work, the only impact of the work you did that you can see is that you overdrafted your ability to do anything. including have a basic conversation without getting grumpy or crying. and your body is going to make you pay it back with interest, you already know that, but you don’t know how to start filling yourself back up. you’ve only ever enjoyed being on the grind, hard at work on exciting things.

I don’t know how many of you have been through the kind of burnout that’s years of needing 12hrs of sleep a night but with terrible insomnia, waking up to what feels like a hangover for weeks on end with little relief then rinse and repeat without having a single drink, feeling too sick to eat and needing to exercise to emotionally regulate but being unable to, anxiety that doesn’t come from worry but you’ll pick that up too at some point, dissociating every time you try to do mentally taxing tasks that you’re PAID for so it takes an hour of grounding yourself just to get five minutes worth of productive concentration, falling asleep the minute you feel a little safe by being in the presence of loved ones. but I suspect I’m not the only one.

I’ve had songs for the energetic and angsty times leading up to this. for the exasperated times and the brain fog and the times where all my limited energy is tied up in feeling things. that I need to, need to acknowledge, but it’s overwhelming and I live in a haze for weeks as a result of. songs telling of the kind of youth I wish I had, even when I was sold something else. songs for the months spent as a teenager trying to be there for my friends, worrying for them, distracting me from worrying for myself, trying to cling on to positivity and hope amongst it when I had to choose to make a discipline of always seeing that. I’ve had songs for healing and when healing is harder than expected and songs that have the right level of musical complexity to capture the layers of everything that’s happening in my head, making it sound good, telling me it’s gonna be okay.

I don’t know how I could ever say thank you for this. but I do know that I see parts of myself in the people behind these songs, of course I do, and I worry for them as a result and ache for them because it’s hard enough to feel this way when no one knows me or feels the need to control me or mould me into what they think I should be. I’d do anything to keep them all healthy and happy and all of their loved ones too and I don’t think it’s strange as a fan to take that seriously. I hope we can understand the need to treat them gently, and to while not questioning their privacy and the fact that they’re never going to tell us everything they go through, listen to our intuition when we catch something we relate to and treat what they’ve shared with us or hinted at with the dignity we would if someone we love told us something vulnerable. be kind in our expectations and be intentional in the fan culture we create because it does make its way back to them.

and the same goes with all of you. we’re bonding over the same things. I know a lot of this fandom is in the stage where interpersonal relationships are hard. we don’t mean to be grumpy of frustrated but we are. and I’m sending love to all of you. we can get through this together. it’s what they’ve always longed for isn’t it?

[necrotic-nephilim]

Please infodump about the JayTimSteph Grotesquerie AU WIP if possible.

OF COURSE i've been thinking about it since i saw the trailer and now it's a little brainworm. (disclaimer i've not watched the first two episodes yet, this is like. solely on the vibes of the trailer. some details might change once i. watch the show depending on if i follow it or just go with the vibes the trailer gave me. which also means there will be no spoilers for the show if you care about that.)

the current idea involves Detective!Tim, Nun!Steph, and Priest!Jason. the vague idea for the plot so far is that a serial killer leaves a *very* artful display of a crime scene inside of the church that Jason and Steph operate out of. Tim is assigned as the leading detective on the case and ends up in a relationship with the both of them as he spirals in madness trying to catch the killer.

for Steph, i want to explore the idea of her father, Cluemaster, being a *very* prolific and artful serial killer who's whole gimmick was sending clues to the police until he was caught when Steph was still a child, and her and her mother were forced to go into witness protection for their own safety, which led her down the path of becoming a nun. it was a defining childhood moment for her to walk in on one of her father's crimes, so when she's the one who finds the crime scene in the church, it *immediately* sends her back to her childhood and she's caught between PTSD-fueled horror and a sick, enticing fascination. she wanted to become a journalist before going into WITSEC but that career was basically all but ruined for her. now she runs the small newspaper for the church and is desperate to write on the first "real" story she's ever had, dragging her into an intense obsession over the crime and trying to prove she can solve it.

for Jason, i want to deal with his history as Bruce. the current idea is that Bruce is Tim's police chief who adopted Jason and Dick from a young-ish age and raised them to be detectives, taking them to crime scenes as teenagers and teaching them the ins and outs of how criminals think. it leads to Dick becoming a detective, but when taking them to crime scenes led to Jason being kidnapped and brutally tortured by "Jack Napier", almost dying. Dick kills Napier to save Jason and it fractures their little family so badly that Dick switches departments to another city and Jason runs away at 17, eventually happening upon joining the clergy. he's the new, young priest in the church who's known for being very pretty but very emotionally distant even if he's nice enough. and he's *pissed* that Bruce is in his church investigating a murder and that no matter where Jason goes, he can't seem to get away from the horrors.

and for Tim, he's the young new detective in his department who is *entirely* unaware that he's been taken under Bruce's wing bc Bruce is treating him as a surrogate replacement for Dick and Jason. haven't fully decided his backstory yet, but it'll likely be similar to canon with losing his mother and father. i kind of want him to be lost and lacking a sense of direction. very gifted in noticing patterns and detective work, but it's clear he doesn't *really* want this job. and when he's assigned as the lead on a case that feels *way* too big for his experience bc Bruce is showing clear favoritism, he's forced to go to Steph for help, which leads to Jason ending up wrapped up with them too.

despite how heavy the plot *sounds*, i honestly want this fic to be like. 40% porn. like the show i want to explore a lot of fucked up sexual interests in Jason who's punishing himself for it, Steph being too interested in things for her own good and desperate for a taste of what "real life" feels like, and Tim just being incredibly repressed. like i want the line between horror and erotic to feel like a jumprope. lots of fucked up sex balanced with like. them actually trying to catch the killer. and then of course the emotional aspect of how Jason's baggage with Bruce works into all of it. also want Tim to have a mild hero worship for "the great Detective Dick Grayson" while being clueless that he's Bruce's son and Jason's brother. i sort of want it to be Steph-centric, but still have POVs from Tim and Jason just to round out their emotional arcs. i haven't fully decided everyone else who'll be in the fic but i know i want Cass to be a fellow nun and friend of Steph's, Babs to also work at the church, Helena to be Tim's favorite coworker, and possibly for Damian to be around somehow. those roles will probably get more fleshed out when i. watch the damn show tho.

anyway TLDR: religious imagery, body horror, kinky sex, and a mystery that might break everyone psychologically once they get to the bottom of it. i have some very specific scenes and dialogue planned out. probably cannibalism as a metaphor for love thrown in there too. idk i just want these three to be as fucked up as possible and unhinged about each other but fighting their repressed side with their unhinged feral side. and since it doesn't exist by god I'll create it.

[faerie-fang]

random adhd hack i discovered recently — i keep my meds in my bedroom and recently put some in a shot glass to keep in my kitchen and it’s helped me soo much with not forgetting to take them. it seems like it’d be easy to just go back upstairs after realizing ive forgotten but the amount of times ive realized but im already involved in something else or just decide its not worth it?? its such a small convenience but its helped a lot

[alexturner2005]

in case this is useful info to anyone:

i have two sets of patches: one i bought at the show and one i ordered from the website (in case i mess up lmao)

the patches from the website are larger and have rounded edges, and i think they’re iron-on! the ones i bought at the show aren’t iron-on

[ithilien-writes]

this is a great tutorial on how to use a bookmarklet to reformat ao3 works that have too much spacing. couldn't for the life of me figure out why it wasn't working for me tho so protip: if you're using on android mobile, don't access the bookmarklet from your bookmarks folder, access just thru search in the main address bar (after you've opened the fic):

[insectduck]

Yo I'm watching Star vs. The Forces of Evil right now and it's actually really fucking good

Not saying that I didn't think it was good before but I remember wishing I could watch it when I was younger when it first came out but never being able to catch the episodes on the TV, and rewatching it as an adult is so cool because now I can validate my younger selves feelings lmao like 'yes it does look really cool, and yes it is really good!! (Even after many years!)'

I love having free will as an adult lol, I am also well aware that the show has an online fandom👀 you guys are cool, I am a bit scared of the later episodes because crazy shit goes down (I know a bit about her mom being like op or something from clips) so perhaps expect SVTFOE posts soon👀👀👀

[arcaneoddity]

So... I'm not the only heavily gender-pondering person who will refer to themselves as their AGAB or lump themselves in with their AGAB out of habit time and time again only to feel kinda weird/bad about it... right?

Like, if I keep claiming I'm not that gender, why is it I keep aligning myself with it, am I just making it all up? Am I just desperately trying to be something I'm not, potentially just to fit into a box?

Mind you, I can tell that me thinking those things and having those doubts is most likely bullshit and impostor syndrome related and I'm not actually making shit up but like.

Does anyone even relate to that? Is it just me? It can't just be me, right??

[pumpking64]

.

[laomelettedufromage]

Eeheheheee >:)))

[artisimpossible]

Not to offer unsolicited advice, but if anyone following me needs this: There actually *is* a point where the task is just big enough of a deal to get done easily, but you *won't be able to see it once you're in it*. You must pre-allocate the time based on when you know you will need to do it, and then follow that schedule.

You have a paper due next week that'll take you two days to write? Don't write it write now. Don't wait for the last day. *Schedule* it. I typically say "if it takes 2 days, I'll schedule it 4 days in advance, that way, if something happens and I miss a day, I still have time". This means that when I'm down to 4 days, I'll know innately that I have enough time to do it so I won't feel overwhelmed BUT the fact that we're getting close to the deadline and I put it in my schedule and not doing it now might throw things off is enough pressure to make me actually do it.

First you procrastinate on the task because it is not a big enough deal to get done urgently. Then you procrastinate on the task because it has become such a big deal that doing it is overwhelming. You would think that this implies a middle point where it is just big enough of a deal to get done easily, however the inherent perversity of the universe's causal geometry prevents this

[hydrossity-zone]

Thank you so much for sharing so many Sonic reference sheets!! These are so helpful for cosplay!!💕💕

glad to be of help!!!

[zariahthechocolatecookie]

okay so Google docs' new tabs feature is actually so helpful for planning fics???

Like I can have a tab for the outline outline, a tab for the big broad timeline, a tab for all the shit I gotta figure out, a tab for characters, the list goes on and on!

I was skeptical at first but it's really helpful for planning!!