#just sayin… they’re working on some p cool stuff

[pawsyscollective]

@murder-clown-around-town

REBLOG if you have amazing, talented WRITER friends.

Because I certainly do, and I love every single one of them and their work.

[ziracona]

Do you have any Anna/Sally friendship headcanons for ILM? Those two would vibe together.

Sure do! At first Anna and Sally don’t really know what to do with each other. They couldn’t be a lot more different in nature. Sally is polite and reserved and proper, and Anna is feral and strong and fierce. Sally is tiny, Anna a giant. But they’re both friends with the survivor fam, and especially bc of Quentin & Philip & Claudette, have some common ground in friends, so they met and spoke. I think each kind of initially found the other a curiosity.

While they don’t really understand each other, it’s not in a bad way. There’s also not really anything about the other that would tick either of them off, or be a source of contention, so it’s more like “Huh. Neat. What an unusual person.” @ eachother. Sally is super polite and Anna will interpret polite interest as genuine interest and be like “!!! Ah yes. The axe. Trick is strength to control your strike lands where you intend.” Or go on a happy explanation about carving masks or whatever game Min is into or living alone in the woods, but like, that’s also actually all interesting, and Anna is an engaging person, so Sally is at first like O_O bc she goes “Oh hello so you do X right? That seems neat” and gets hit with a tidal wave of mostly English with some Russian too about a lot of stuff, but she’s kinda charmed by that, and enjoys Anna’s stories and company.

Weirdly Anna has two modes—gush and very quiet—and little in between, but both suit Sally well. She also likes quiet. While the world is a brave new world with terrifying changes to Sally, she’s ahead of Anna, and it’s kind of nice to be the one helping someone else feel better by explaining for once. Anna is an attentive listener, and Sally a sensitive person who gets sad when people don’t care about what she’s saying, so that works out well.

Anna thinks Sally is very amusing and fun, and that it’s very funny a grown woman is smaller than her kids, but in a cute way. Very fascinated by the weird (to her) stuff Sally does like preserve flowers, but in ways that makes sense, and Anna loves the idea of pets and greatly enjoys her seeing eye dog. They both initially just kind of find the other fascinating, but both kind of grow to enjoy navigating such wholly uncharted new lives as a unit when they can, and hang out a lot and become good friends. Helps that both really love Philip. He is the book spine of the story of their friendship. He is quite happy about how this went as well.

Sally is extremely patient with Anna, from her experience working with people with a huge variety of needs and backgrounds and hidnerences. They find a lot of wonder in the world and have many conversations of back and forth trying to explain concepts to each other that last five minutes per idea and are mostly just “Eh???” “Yes, it makes you tall for fun.” “...Fun. Then. ...Heels good?” “Oh, no, they are extremely painful.” “EH???? Then why wear?” “To be taller and improve your figure?” :’-] *Anna internally old lady from that one vine voice: ‘What is she sayin?’* And vice versa. But they kinda love it. Sometimes just chat about how cool whatever is or thoughts on whatever is around. Philip is p often part of such talks, although that often means him watching with a contented smile over a cup of cocoa and listening.

One time in winter earlyish on, they leave a movie at night and there’s a lot of black ice for Sally’s guide dog to navigate, so when people are like “Uh what should—“ Anna just picks Sally up and carries her, and they both have so much fun doing it that Sally often accepts lifts to grab objects or a ride on Anna’s shoulders if they’re going for a long hike somewhere and she gets tired. It makes Anna feel proud and strong and Sally cared for and wanted. Anna starts calling Sally “Little Woman” as a nickname and Sally really likes it. Benedict is the fourth wheel (which isn’t a thing but I guess he makes the trike become a cart lol), and that’s a weird set of four, but it just kinda works. Book nerd professor gentleman out of time, proper lady with a mind that wanders through worlds, the bear mama come home to stay, and the kind man finally living his happy ending.

[malewifingit]

Cyberpunk 2077 First Thoughts etc etc

yo- so lemme start off by sayin- half of this stuff is likely my own fault for not looking into it before actually buying it- but i’m gonna still gripe about it man. consider it a gentle critique, and a casual review. please read the review all the way through before commentin anythin. i’m used to expansive rpgs like the fallout franchise, or the elder scrolls, so perhaps i’m a bit spoiled- but i’d like to think i’m not the only one when i complain about this stuff. 1. dialogue and voice. i’m not sure whhhy- but i was expecting a better dialogue tree. it seems like you get such limited options- hardly a few things before the main prompt. not to mention v’s voice themselves. am i the only one that wishes for the rpgs of old where your character didn’t actually have a voice? now don’t get me wrong here- it’s not that i hate the voices they give you, it’s just that they’re not very- i unno flexible. when i make a character in an rpg i have a very specific voice in mind for them. like when reading a book you can hear how they sound in your head. i wanted to make a sweet baby cyber boi in cyberpunk- but it just doesn’t work with the ultimate chad voice i hear for male v. which brings me to another thing 8) 2.character customization. hmhmhm boi where do i begin with this. again, this is likely my fault, for not looking into the customization before getting the game- but it’s just so baD. i was hoping, prayinG that it would be better before launch. you can customize your nail color and lengTh. your gosh dang teeth color. your pP SIZE. bUT THERE ARE NO DIFFERENT BODY TYPES MAAAN. for one of my characters i wanted to make a thicc corpo rat. there are literally chubby npcs ingame. why can’t i make a chubby boy :,> a game that doesn’t have body types immediately loses a point for me. i love making multiple characters- and making them all look different and neat in their own way. i just think it's cool. sea of thieves has better customization than this game for cryin out loud smh and they don’T EVEN LET YOU CONTROL HOW TO MAKE IT. my only hope for this is that somewhere down the road- this game becomes nexus compatible and people throw up some amazing character maker mods. otherwise my game play is gonna be very depressing 8). not to mention the guuuys. ugh man. look i like scruffy bois- but what if i wanna make an immaculate e-boi. you’ve got a beard shadow present on the face all the time i can’T GET RID OF IT AaA. not to mention they look p old. mature bois are fine- but again if i’m trYING TO MAKE A SWEET BABY BOI IT DOESN’T QUITE WORK. please i pray to the nexus gods. heLP ME. 3. fan service. alrigHt. here’s where things get a lil touchy. i don’t quite know what to think of sexism- i personally don’t believe it exists in the majority of video games. however- like, i unno man. you ever notice how in video games the female characters always get these super sexy revealing stripper clothes. and the guys get this full plate armor. i’m talking about that. in cyberpunk the female characters just seem to have better models in general for the game. they look so much better. not to mention there’s so much female nudity. i’m a woman alright. i waNT TO SEE CUTE BOIS- WHERE ARE MY CUTE BOIS. i just feel like most games are tailored more towards guys. mmos- rpgs, the general. i feel like it’s mainly because most women aren’t actually into video games- so the corpo tailors it more towards guys, which makes sense ya know? i have no ill-will towards em it’s just frustrating :,>. please don’t come throwing hands at me saying you’re a gorl gamer and you’re upset by this. if you do you’re missin the whole point of this review. i’m just sayin- as a girl, i wanna see a buncha nice looking bois, not just a buncha nice looking gorls. where the hek is my fan service?? fallout 4 had real decent character customization- i unno why it’d be hard to do something like that. dragons dogma had god tier customization oh my gosh. i miss that :,> 4. notes general gripes gameplay etc etc the combat is p weak kek. it’s very generic, with nothing revolutionary. not to mention sidequests don’t actually change character development. also i find it suspicious the large amount of good reviews they got literally at the launch. don't get me wrong tho- it's got good replay promise! allowing for decent hours of content. but at the same time it feels a little barren? not to mention you need a pretty powerful pc- i am blessed enough to have one tho. my heart goes out to all you poor bois that tried to adjust the graphics and found out it did almost nothing. i'm- i unno i'm not sure what to rate the game. i guess if you want another neato rpg it's p fun- just don't get it for the character maker. if you don't care about that tho then go right ahead. i do however- believe that this game was incredibly over-hyped, and failed to deliver a large percentage of what it promised. something that really bugs me tho are the three backgrounds you get to pick. for some reason i expected them to have more of an impact and with different routes- since each one starts off from a different point and it even seems like you go through different events for some of em with different characters. but somehow- it still feels the same. like, i unno it’s a little hard to describe for me, like everything is re-skinned but the same content almost. kinda feels like the illusion of choice- but hey if you like it then good for you man. i feel like i’m gonna have to rate this a bad for now. just because it doesn’t feel like anything they promised- which was clever marketing on their part for sure. but it’s a little too late to return this game so imna get my money’s worth out of it you can believe that. who knows, maybe my opinion will change. i sure hope so :,>.

[queenlua]

i think Rhea is actually a fascinating character, but god, i wish all the backstory stuff around her weren’t such a mess of confusing/contradictory shit—

* the “hunt down the elites but then let them get cool titles so long as they promise not to rebel again” thing is. so convoluted. like, yes, it gives you a very cool body-horror explanation for Why Crests Are A thing, but i still struggle to see why the correct solution was not Stab Those Bitches

* also! finding it pretty hard to believe the church would be that effective at suppressing that history.  Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandad Daphnel is absolutely gonna tell their kid “let me tell you about the time i fought god and lost”

* i’m struggling to think of a time when a long-term suppression of technological development has like... ever? worked?  like, i think they’re going for a big-bad-Catholic-church-oppressin’-the-scientists angle, but my (rough) understanding is that’s an exaggeration of how the church worked—like, of course the church wanted new technology, it made them more powerful!  i think you could do it with a smaller country and a very oppressive regime, but, Fódlan’s three different countries and seems to have universities and shit—not exactly some totalitarian backwater

* actually, so the implication is that Edelgard read Wilhelm I’s history of How Things Went Down, right? didn’t... didn’t Wilhelm I benefit the most from the whole War of the Heroes thing? like, he teamed up with the dragons? why’d he go and shit-talk them in his little journal? seems p Mean Girls is all i’m sayin’

anyway, if anyone can explain this shit in a way that makes sense, i’m all ears, because god knows anything that makes writing this fic less painful is a godsend

(also, seriously, this is not the space for a Rhea hateboner; i’m legitimately just trying to figure out some plot stuff)

[bronanlynch]

hamlet, much ado, CORIOLANUS, henry the fifth (guess which one I had to c&p)

tbh I assumed u were just really really excited abt coriolanus which like. valid and mood

HAMLET: Do you have any specific/creative ideas on staging a production of Hamlet?

oh boy do I........ ok first of all I would def borrow some of the set/lighting stuff from the production that I saw a few months ago (the one with ruth negga as hamlet) bc there was a lot of really really cool stuff w doors and silhouettes that I thought was super effective. also extremely a fan of having hamlet played by a woman or a transmasc actor bc like. ok. I don’t think trans!hamlet was necessarily what that production was going for but that’s how it came across to me, a transmasc person like. I’ve seen hamlet played by women in a way that felt like hamlet’s a woman in that version, regardless of how much or little they change the script/pronouns. the ruth negga version was like. oh. hamlet is trans and also even if that wasn’t what they were going for it’s still the only portrayal of a transmasc character that’s ever resonated with me personally. not to get into gender stuff but I very rarely feel like I recognize myself in fictional depictions of trans people but something abt this specific hamlet just. really vibed w me y’know? something about the mannerisms and the costuming and the way his depression isn’t specifically abt his gender stuff but that sure doesn’t help (all the layers of being referred to/referring to himself as unmanly, talking abt hating femininity contrasted w how much this version of hamlet clearly cared abt ophelia+gertrude, another reason for everyone to disapprove of his relationship, etc)

anyway tl;dr my ideal production would make hamlet trans, also I’ve been kinda vaguely considering what the costuming might look like if u set it further back in history like. more like the time that the sources shakespeare was working on were from bc then I could use the stuff I learned for my dissertation abt early medieval clothing for something

also I hate how every single production I’ve ever seen has done ophelia’s ~madness so I wanna do a version where she’s playing the same game hamlet is of like. pretending to ~go mad~ so that ppl won’t see her as a threat except it doesn’t work bc there’s a moment when she’s like. giving out the flowers and too much of her anger comes through at claudius. when she leaves the stage for the last time claudius gestures for one of his guards to follow her out with the implication that he’s having her killed (later, when gertrude comes back to say that she’s dead, so does that guard and claudius nods like. yeah good job u did the thing). also laertes tries to follow ophelia when she leaves but claudius stops him, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t play it like that he can’t just let her go like that

also also if hamlet doesn’t die in horatio’s arms what’s even the point, from a narrative perspective as well as a homoeroticism perspective. also in general horatio needs to be present throughout and like. important? bc too many production neglect horatio but like. he’s the one who makes ppl care abt hamlet anyway I’m gonna stop now before I go into an entire essay

wait no that reminds me of the actual academic essay I did write abt generational conflict in hamlet and why u gotta cast the parent generation as like. obviously older than hamlet’s generation in order to get that across. also bc lots of productions cast hamlet & gertrude closer in age than hamlet & ophelia which. hmmmm. don’t love that

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING: Go off about the best female character.

beatrice muchado is a strong contender but also everyone already loves her so I have less to say that hasn’t already been said, I would be tempted to say viola twelfthnight if I weren’t so firmly on team viola/cesario is trans, I love ophelia a lot but I hate the ~madness scenes, most of my favorite women in shakespeare productions I’ve seen have been women playing male roles like please I would love to talk abt the all-female julius caesar where brutus was a butch lesbian, or like. gwendoline christie as titania in midsummer except titania and oberon’s roles were swapped (which I have mixed feelings about bc the oberon/nick bottom stuff is played as a joke which like. to be fair that’s how titania/bottom is usually done and I know the joke isn’t actually just ‘haha they’re gay’ it’s abt the weird magic shit and the fact that puck and titania are messing with them but. y’know. the experience of being in an audience laughing at two dudes kissing did not make me personally feel great. however I fucking loved pretty much everything else about the production so it balances out to still being the best midsummer I’ve ever seen and also one of the best plays I’ve ever seen full stop)

also best is such a vague and subjective thing like. Idk I love a lot of them for different reasons, y’know? I do think beatrice and maybe juliet are the ones I would say are the best written, gertrude is a close third bc it really depends on how she’s played in any given production but one of my favorite parts of hamlet is in the last scene when she drinks the poison if it’s framed as her knowing exactly what’s going on and daring claudius to stop her and admit his own guilt

CORIOLANUS: Which gay pairing has the most evidence? (Conversely, which pairing do you wish had evidence?)

cesario/viola+orsino is canon send tweet. but really like. usually the cross-dressing heroine changes back into women’s clothing at the end to restore heteronormativity or whatever and I know that viola does say “hey I’m gonna go change” but never actually does and orsino still calls them cesario after that in one of his very last lines so like. I’m just sayin

 brutus and cassius’s deaths are basically the same as romeo and juliet’s, and are therefore also a pyramus and thisbe retelling, in this essay I will

HENRY V: What is the best monologue/soliloquy? in general I’m not that into king lear but edmund’s “now gods, stand up for bastards” monologue is extremely good and sexy, somewhere there’s a recording of riz ahmed doing it that’s just. chef’s kiss

as a hamlet stan my favorite hamlet soliloquy is his first one, the one that starts with “oh that this too too sullied flesh would melt,” and ends with “but break my heart for I must hold my tongue” which not to be a basic bitch but that’s one of my favorite lines in anything ever

also antony’s funeral speech for caesar gets me (almost) every goddamn time. the one singular exception to this was the shakespeare in the park production a few years ago where they were trying to do shallow modern political commentary that really didn’t work and actively undermined the themes of the play

[pudding-on-parade]

Rant alert!

You have been warned....

Okaaaaaaaay, having spent way too long downloading medieval crap for a TS3 medieval game, I have some ranting to do.

1. Actually, this is a rant about TS3 CC creators in general: Why do so many of them run off and take their stuff and their entire website (on a free server, mind you) with them? It's so frustrating. I find something I want, screw around a lot to find a page for it, screw around even further to find a link to the particular item I want, only to find... Oh so sorry! That link is invalid! GRAAAAAARRRGH! Why is it that links to TS2 stuff that are, like, almost 15 years old work A-OK, but a 5-year-old link to something TS3? Seven times out of ten, nope nope nope. It's really irritating. Crybaby creators (if that's what this is) annoy the ever-loving piss out of me.

2. “Finds” blogs that use an infinite scroll theme. UGH! I find something I want to download. I click the link (hoping to Baphomet that it works; see above), but I forget to open it in a new tab. I download the thing (or not, more likely; see above), click back to the finds blog...and I'm back at the very top of the infinite scroll that I've been scrolling through for half an hour or more. So. Not. Cool. Yes, I know it's my fault for forgetting to open the link in a new tab, but if the theme was paged, that wouldn't be something that anyone would have to worry about in the first place. Paged themes! Paged themes are infinitely better than infinite scroll, at least for "finds" blogs. I'm just sayin'.

3. What's the point of making people register on forums to download stuff? Really, I don't get it. Doesn't that just create a mass of people who come in, download one or two things, and then never return? They just clog up your forum registrations for eternity. Is it just an ego thing? Like, "Look how many registered users MY forum has!"? That seems pointless. I get having people register in order to comment and such on forums because then there's some accountability when someone decides to be an asshole, as people generally will when they think they're anonymous, but just to download stuff and run? I don't get it. And I'm not bothering. Even if I really want the stuff.

4. Adfly and the like. People who use that suck. Even though I have a bypasser thingy, it still sucks. Even if you're a good person who makes amazing shit, if you put it behind a link shortener -- or, worse, frickin' LAYERS of link shorteners -- you suck and you're going to the special hell and I'm not downloading your stuff.

5. T$R still sucks huge monkey balls. At least the links all work there, but...Man, do I despise them and their whole entire money-grubbing site. Were it not for Freemium, I wouldn't go there at all. Ever. Even if I really, REALLY want the thing, whatever the thing is. Oh, and those "helpful" titles on the downloads! Really lets me know what I downloaded when I look at the files I downloaded hours after I downloaded them. :p

OK, I'm done. For now.....

[lanasaved]

sssslithers onto the scene like nagini.... hlo! i’m nai n i’m rly excited to finally return 2 rp. uni is officially Over n i’m living bk at home nw so i actually hav free time again to write. c’est une.... how do u say.... Miracle! some of u might b familiar w lana already bt if not u can find out mre abt her under the cut n feel free 2 like this or hmu fr plots!!!

p.s. this is her pinterest for those of u tht like tht kind of thing

CIS-FEMALE — ever hear people say LANA JAMESON looks a lot like KRISTINE FROSETH? I think SHE is about 22, so it doesn’t really work. The DANCE major is a JUNIOR that is from ALBANY, NEW YORK. They can be + VIVACIOUS, but they can also be - IRRESPONSIBLE. I think LANA might be SHEEP. They are living in BALTA. ( nai. 22. gmt. she/her. )

some random aesthetics: a red water pistol topped up with caribbean rum and covered in stickers of cartoon pin up girls, a vinyl record whirring silently because you got too distracted by a stranger’s hands to reach over and flip sides, giant inflatable flamingos floating in the aftermath of a pool party, smudgy lipstick kisses left like an autograph on someone else’s mirror

ic im sayin she jst got bk from going abroad w louis, this kind of sleazy older man tht manages the camgirls on the website lana works fr. he calls himself a “big exec” at “the company” n mkes it all sound a lot more professional than it is. he also owns this big house w all these different rooms/settings fr the girls to film different kinds of scenes in n is looked up by a lot of ppl bt when asked why they look up to him, nobody ever rly seems to have an answer. jst...a shady figure. lana kind of.... went off the deep end lst semester n ended up deferring her next one after missing her big graded ballet recital. it’s a whole big mess n she’s wearin horse blinders to it. truly jst.... goin on holiday to ignore hw much she’s fuckin things up at school. queen of burying her head in the sand!

frm this point on ive jst pasted her old intro bc im the laziest woman alive n that’s jst life Babey

grew up in a big house in albany, NY, bt also spent time all over the place n was in the city a lot

okay so her mum is an old money socialite / three time campaign model way back when n her dad is a big record label mogul. he owns a label called jameson records n they repped a few big rock bands back in the eighties, altho they’re mostly known for ‘poppy injects’ whose lead singer had a big heroin scandal tht brought down his career. lana p much grew up around musicians snorting lines instead of spooning down cereal fr breakfast n her parents were v much absent her whole life

they’re pretty well off obviously n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pastel coloured fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably very pretty

her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her. it was v clear that she was an accident after her older brother caleb n that even when they just had him alone they weren’t cut out for parenthood. they always kind of jst… ignored her n hoped she’d go away. she had to mke herself microwave meals when she ws only like 12 bc they’d forget to get her anything. once she went like 6 days without her mum even looking her in the eyes once

despite this tho!!! she’s always been insanely close w her brother caleb. he’s her whole world. thts why when he decided to sign up to the army she ws understandably scared bt supported him regardless. bt then he wound up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed his best friend die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home n he was never the same n lana kind of felt like he’d died out there too. he’s in n out of hospital a lot n it’s rly hard on her bt she doesn’t tlk abt it to anyone rly

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. jst literally…. knew everyone n everyone definitely knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character

she’s always been insatiably spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r

anyway so after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not. in fact she’s so… shameless in her endeavours tht she’s actually currently having an affair w her ballet instructor tanya who’s engaged to b married

she also currently? is working as a cam girl. she found this website bc she trawls… porn stuff a lot n she wound up applying to work as one bc she thought it’d b fun n wld earn her some disposal income (even tho she frankly doesn’t need it bc she’s already well off). the guy tht manages all of the girls on the site is kind of suspect n it’s a whole plot i’m gna unravel where it’s actually like the front for a cult or something wild so. stay posted ig. kgjdkgjh

new development!!!!!!!! cue me trottin around doin jazz hands. she’s actually been cut off by her dad so she’s….. living off the money she has left n has to look to find a job which is jst. a nightmare fr someone like lana bc she’s insatiably irresponsible n destined to be fired from anything she tries to hold down bt. it’ll be interesting bc this means she genuinely has to keep on camming even tho she’s starting not to want to any more bc of other circumstances i won’t elaborate on jst yet winks

personality/some fun facts: uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. her fav book as a child used to b alice in wonderland n she’d fantasise abt having her own little wonderland too where everyone knew her name n asked her things n took her on adventures. at the time it didn’t rly strike her how evident it was tht that was bc she was so lonely. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s strawberry laces or gummy bears or cherry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. wildflowers r her favourites bc they’re the brightest and u can’t buy them. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another

plot ideas: exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days. let’s get wildt!

[guccisvt]

Pole

Genre: || Romance || Drama ||

Word Count: 2776

Summary: Dance has long since been a passion of yours buried away. When a friend of yours invites you to join them in a dance class, you expected to be taken to a Zumba or a ballroom class. But the poles, sweat, and unnecessarily sexy dance teacher told you otherwise.

A/N: I LOVE TO DANCE. If I could afford it, is would totally take pole dancing classes. They are amazing for your body, just sayin~ *Btw: Beat for the God's - An extremely attractive person. It’s short but lemme tell you, i found this rather...mmm, nice. I may or may not continue. Idk, i’ll think about it.

To say you were nervous was probably an understatement.

"C'mon. You've been cooped up in your flat for weeks and, how could you turn this down, you LOVE dancing!"

You recalled the memory of your good friend who had convinced you to join her in a dance class. Just as she said, you didn't turn her down. Though, as convincing as she was, it wasn't like she had put a gun to your head or anything.

Still...peer pressuring you wasn't very nice.

Regardless of that, you arrived to the dance studio in your car and waited for your friend to arrive as well. It was a little odd, you thought, of the class to be held in the evening. Normally you had heard of Zumba classes being more of a morning class but, it's not like it was FREAKY to have them at night.

You sat in your car for another ten minutes before you saw your friend hop out of their car a few spaces next to you. You watched as she walked up to the studio and noticed their clothes. They looked rather...uh...their clothing looked a bit more loose and covered a lot less than you had been prepared for.

You came dressed in a pair of black shorts and a red tank top With a light, black sweater over it. You looked very...comfortable....compared to your friend. You sighed and ran a hand through your hair before hopping out of your own car, taking your bag with you, and walking into the studio.

As you stepped inside, you found your friend waiting for you, greeting you as you walked in. "I promise, you're gonna love this class. It's super fun."

As they led you in, you found yourself feeling a little alienated by many different things. First thing that caught your eye was the number of feminine presenting people in the room who all looked *beat for the god's. So you instantly felt out of place. Next, the poles protruding out of the wood floor had you all sorts of nervous.

"Uh...what...sorta dancing...do you guys do here?" You asked your friend who went to pull out some water and a towel.

"Baby, this is a pole dancing class." They told you, smiling almost smugly at you. You could feel your palms grow sweaty and your eyes widened. "P-Pole dancing?"

"Hey everyone, sorry I'm a little late." A voice echoed into the room, earning everyone's attention, including yours. He looked tall and thin, and his bleach blonde hair looked a little moist. Maybe he had just freshened up?

He walked over to the front of the room and placed his bag down and removed the jean jacket that shielded him from the cold. He wore a plain oversized black shirt and some black skinny jeans which, among the many other good looking humans in the room, looked fairly normal.

"Alright, I hope everyone is ready to shake off their end of the week stress?" He spoke once again, earning a few woos and hollers from the group. As he turned around, he scanned the room for a moment, taking in everyone's faces.

Until he stopped on you.

"Oh, hello! You look like a new face." He said enthusiastically as he walked over to you. You were quite...distracted by his physique to say the least. He was probably the finest man you had ever laid eyes on.

"Yeah, they're a little nervous to be here." Your friend explained for you. You had found yourself gawking a little but, their smack to your arm was enough to make you pay attention to him again.

"There's no need to be nervous. Everyone in this class is here to better themselves. No one is here to judge. In here, we are all here to work our bodies to their fullest potential and to learn to love ourselves for ourselves. If at any point you don't feel comfortable, you can sit out or leave if you really want to." He explained, his friendly smile really pulling you in.

"I'm Wen Junhui by the way, I'm the dance instructor. I didn't get your name." He asked, placing a hand out to you. You shook it and awkwardly smiled, "(Y/n), ah...I have...never danced in a class before."

Jun nodded, "I see, well I promise you after this class, you'll definitely want to sign up and do it more often. And remember, in here, nothing is sexier than being confident." He made solid eye contact with you, winking casually. You gulped down your nerves and nodded, smiling back at him.

You didn't feel nervous anymore, maybe a little turned on by the teacher, but you generally felt....comfortable.

"Great. Shall we get started?" He asked, this time turning around to the rest of the room and repeating himself, "Shall we get started?" He exclaimed, earning another excited reaction from the room.

You chuckled as he turned away, glancing to your friend who could only snicker and shake their head at you. "You dirty dog." They called you and all you could do was laugh and shrug.

As you finally went to leave your stuff down, the bright lights in the room dimmed and Jun went around the room lighting candles around the room, setting the room into a warm and sensual vibe.

"Now class, let's get ready for our warm ups, any requests on a song?" He asked as the class walked out to their poles. You followed behind, finding a place by your friend. As no one replied, Jun walked over to the front of the room and crossed his arms.

“Cool, I’ll pick today’s warm up then. How about some Ariana? Ladies, I know you guys love Ariana.” He replied, taking out his phone and plugging it to the sound system. As soon as he pressed play, a vibration hit the floor that shook you to your core.

As the music started, you saw everyone begin to move. Some rolled their shoulders back, some rolled their head, some stretched, but everyone seemed to do their own thing without instruction.

You felt a little off by this as you didn’t know what you should be doing. “C’mon, just relax man.” Your friend exclaimed over the music as they began to walk back to you. But, Junhui cut them midway, “Ah. You go warm up, I’ll help our new student.” He told them. She could only smile and nod to him as they turned back to their area near their pole.

Junhui turned around and looked at you, eyeing you up and down, before chuckling. “You feel the vibration in the floor?” He asked, earning a quick nod from you. “Feel it. The music is there to guide you.” He continued, walking over and circling you slowly. He leaned his head back, closing his eyes and as he did, you did. The words, the beat, the atmosphere had you feeling...hot.

“Hands behind you.” He ordered. You kept your eyes closed as you did what he said, placing your hands behind you. As the beat began to build, he grabbed your hands and pulled them gently, carefully pulling them out and closer until you found yourself leaning back into him.

You sighed as you felt him stretch you and as he did so, you gulped hard from the closeness. “Lean forward.” He ordered once again, this time, leaning over you as you did so. He kept your hands in his, lowering them to your back as you leaned forward. You tried not to focus on the fact that he was so...uncomfortably close and instead focused on your stretching. You both held there for a long moment before he straightened up, releasing your hands and moving his other hand on your rhomboid.

“Put your hands out, and when I lean you forward, you’re going to slowly get down.” He instructed, causing you to snap your eyes open.

“I-I’m not-”

“I’m not going to drop you, trust me.” He continued as he slowly leaned you forward. You put your hands out in front of you as he did so, bending your arms to help support you. As you did so, his other hand slipped underneath you, lifting your legs while he also controlled your back. You felt your body roll to the floor along to a riff in the music and for a second, you felt...turned on???

You sighed and laid on the floor for a moment.

“Good job! You just learned your first dance move.” Jun exclaimed, helping you onto your feet again. As he did so, the music silenced and the room was left in it’s erotic echo.

He stepped back momentarily from you glancing around the room, “Everyone, how about we start with some free style today? That way, I can catch (Y/n) up with a few moves.” He explained, allowing for the next song in his playlist to play. Roll Deep.

“So, (Y/n)...dear, you need to relax.” He said as he turned back to you. You nodded firmly again and Jun shook his head sighing softly. “I don’t think you quite get it (Y/n). Pole dancing...dancing in general isn’t supposed to be stressful. It’s not supposed to wrack your brain until you’re imploding.” He explained, walking up to your pole and jumping up, wrapping his legs around it gracefully before sliding down. 

“It’s an extension of your body. It’s expression.” He continued, taking a hand off the pole and taking yours instead. He placed your hand on the pole and gently shifted you close to it. “The very strength that you used to bring yourself down onto the ground is the same kind you’ll be using to hold yourself up. As you advance, moves will move smoothly. For now, I’ll help you step by step.” He explained as he got near you to place your other hand up.

The chill of the pole and the warmth of his hands ran through you, you found yourself ignoring the music and now following his instructions only. “First move I’ll teach you is called The Nothing.”

You raised a brow and turned over your shoulder to look at him. Finding his face closer to your shoulder than you had expected caused you to shoot your attention back forward, starring off in slight shock.

Jun chuckled softly, continuing his lecture, “Your non dominant hand is going to come across your chest, like a seat belt.” He explain, stepping away so that you could adjust yourself.

“Good. Next, just step out with your outside leg.” He continued, watching you intently as you did as instructed. “Next, you’re going to let yourself fall around your pole, keep your knees under you.”

You raised another brow and did as he said, letting yourself sort of fall but instead of looking graceful, you sort of fell onto your side. You chuckled nervously as you pulled yourself up, “Ah...i...I don’t think i did that right.” You commented, but Jun could only smile.

“Then do it again.” He replied, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched you. You huffed a little and did as told, crossed over your chest, stepped out, and let yourself fall. This time, you kept your arms a little straighter and instead of falling onto your side, you bent your knees ever so slightly, allowing your fall to be stopped by the thud of your knees on the floor.

You jolted at the hit to your knee, rubbing them as you stood back up. You positioned yourself again, ready to start again but this time, Jun cut in front of you, grabbing you by your waist. “Keep yourself upright, your hips will swing with your legs and your arms will lower you. Hold tight to the pole but make sure that your hands are loose enough to lower you. You hit the floor when you feel right and make sure you’re holding yourself enough that when you do, you don’t bust your knee on the hardwood.”

You paid close attention to his advice, allowing your hips to move into his hands as he pulled them forward. “Ready to go again?” He asked, stepping away as you nodded.

Who would have thought pole dancing would be so exhausting?

You sighed in relief as the class finished, your friend standing in front of you, a giant smile on her face. “Sooo?” They asked, earning a tired grin from you.

“Alright, Alright...that was fun.” You admitted, chuckling as your friend jumped around in excitement. “I bet! I mean, you had Junhui attached to you like a leech. He’s never so friendly to new students.” She said as she gathered her things. You sat up and began to put your own things away, “Friendly? Really? I thought he was just doing his job, ya know...teaching?” You replied, shaking your head at them.

“Mmmmmhm, I don’t know man. Seems to me like he might be into you.” She teased, gently pushing your arm which tipped you enough to land you on your bottom.

“Oh HA HA. That’s quite the conclusion you’ve jumped to.” You replied, closing your bag before sitting down properly.

“Mmm, it’s not so preposterous when you think about it.” Another voice replied, turning both your heads. There, with his bag and jacket on, Jun stood with his hands on his hips.

“I love my new students, why are you spreading false rumors?” Jun asked your friend, taking a seat beside her. She could only shrug, acting coy, “Who, me? Why, I would never say bad things about you Junhui.” She replied sarcastically before giggling to themselves.

Jun shook his head and rolled his eyes, “I think (Y/n) did great today for their first class. Do you plan on coming back?” He asked, flashing you a friendly smile. You sighed, thinking hard about it. This would cost money. Probably a lot of money and it was a lot of exercise which, you had never been fond of, but you were rather fond of the teacher. He seemed to know what he was doing.

Yeah, you liked him because he was a great teacher. That’s why.

“I think I just might.” You replied, returning a smile. “Great! Here, take this.” He exclaimed, pulling a black and gold card from his jacket pocket. On it was his full name and contact information. “Just call me whenever you want to come in for a class or a private lesson. I’m sure with a few more classes, you’ll be swiping up men and women like that.” He joked, snapping his fingers.

You could only laugh again, nodding as you read the card. “Thank you Junhui, I’ll make sure to call you.” You replied, finally standing up.

As you walked out of the building, you looked the card over, your friend looking it over as well. “You could call him for other reasons, ya know.” Your friend whispered to you jokingly.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head, turning the card over. On the back, writing in white ink shone.

Personal Number.

Your eyes widened like saucers and your jaw dropped. “No fucking way.” You exclaimed a little too loudly, earning your friends attention.

“Jesus, I’m just messing with you.” She replied, but you shook your head before scooting closer to your friend, “Not you ya moron, Look!” You almost cried out, pointing to the number on the back. Your friend gasped before exploding into a fit of laughter.

“Boi, what did I tell you! I told you he likes you! Private lessons my ass, he won’t be teaching you how to pole dance, y’all will be dancing the devil’s tango!” She practically screamed. You smacked them instantly, your face turning a bright red, “Oh my dear g/d, do you WANT him to hear?!” You cried out as you stormed to your car. Your friend impishly laughed as she ran up behind you, “You. Me. My house. Let’s go.”

You glared at them before sighing in defeat, “You. Me. Your House. AFTER i take a shower.” You concluded, earning an excited chirp from your friend who quickly ran to her own car.

You shook your head as you got into your car but, your eyes trailed to the card once again and only a smile could be on your face. For a long second, you looked ahead and smiled to yourself and a weird thought crossed your mind, one that had never even found a place there until then,

“Did he think I was sexy?”

[garfieldsladybird]

it’s been fine!! a lot better than i thought it would be!! i had one test today, so only two more this week :((

(these tests are being used for our grades for the october 👀)

also, me and some of my newish and oldish friends (all from school) are planning to go to frightmare!!! so we’re just organising it for half term 🙃🙃

my friend broke up with her bf of over a year and it’s a bit messy rn so everything’s a little awkward in lessons since they sit next to each other 👀👀

i’m going to bed since i want to be up early so i can do some work so i’m sending so much love 💗

also feel free to respond with some gossip so i can have a nose at some drama when i wake up xx

are these the test that are for like the big thing that you were telling me about? I forgot the name of it-but it was like big important tests. i’m sending you so much luck on them!!! I remember you telling me about a candy or something that you eat for when doing them, have you gotten that candy? remember to study (ofc) but to drink water, you got to stay hydrated! and remember to eat too!! and remember to look after yourself too!! relax and go watch one of your favorite shows, eat some of your favorite snacks and yeah!!! I love you so much!!!

what is frightmare!? it sounds so cool!!! I hope you guys have fun whenever you go!! I can’t wait for all of the Halloween stuff that is going to happen this month! :DDD

I want to go to a pumpkin patch with like a bunch of friends!! Halloween houses too!! oh and I’m dressing up I’m going to be raven from teen titans!! :DDDD

oh that’s so sad :(  Break up sucks. I hope they’re both doing okay at least or something. like over a year together and then it’s done… oh :( I bet things are going to be awkward. hopefully maybe they can be friends still but sometimes that’s harder. hopefully they also don’t make you choose on who are you have to be friends with. cuz that’s fucked up.

gossip that I have?? yk surprisingly there’s not that much drama that I know about. like honestly I know nothing.  I mean I can tell you about this one thing. well so on Instagram, there’s an account that someone made that goes to my school and it’s like annoying people from school; so basically they’re posting annoying people. and bro it’s literally so fucked up. like they posted a video of a girl who was in a dress and the person was saying that her whole entire ass was showing, her pad was showing and that she was a whore. it’s so fucked up.  they called her a whore bc the person that sent them the video said that they told the girl in the video that were going to post it, and they said that the girl didn’t care and that’s why they called her a whore. in the video it kind of looks like you could see a pad but idk and it honestly didn’t look like her whole entire ass was out. they’re also posting fighting vids. but ngl these fight videos suck ass. like they trash. i’ve seen better fights in middle school. they’re also posting this one freshman that is in my 1st p. class and I know her too, they’re making fun of her hard-core and it’s so sad. I don’t even think she knows. her birthday was like this week that just happened I think and she was wearing these cute ass long ass heels with this beautiful dress, and the person of this account got sent a video/pics of the freshman or took the pictures/vids themselves, and post them saying that she had her grippers(feet) out. they were also saying some shit about her make up in a different post before this one sayin her eyeliner was not pretty, it wasn’t ngl, very thick and it didn’t go out all the way, I think she has learn to do it better though! so congrats on her! but it’s such a fucked up thing to do. I honestly think this person that is posting these or whoever is sending them in, is jealous of this freshman. (I don’t know if she’s an actual freshman actually) but I think they’re jealous of her. i’m also pretty sure she’s a cheerleader, which could be a reason why they are jelly of her. I just don’t get why they’re hating. why do this account in the first place…? 

okay there’s that rant. I haven’t told anybody about this account. but people from my school follow it. My school has a population of 1,756 and this account has 181. okay wait it literally had like 300 only a few days ago. but whatever. some people were snitching to and reporting the videos. which honestly is a good thing because it’s such a fucked up thing.  but yeah.

also I would just like to say again that I am sorry for not answering the Messages you send, i’ve been very busy with the play and school and friends. i am not saying you are not important, you are so important to me and I want to talk to you so much but it takes like so long for no reason really. and I’m very sorry about it. I hope you have been doing good and just know that you are amazing/perfect/beautiful and so lovely!!! and I love you so much!! and you are also my friend to I hope you know that!! <333 sending love!!! 💗💗💗

[autumn-in-phandom]

Dan and Phil play Dream Daddy

MEET DILDDY LESTOWELL

I loved this video! I was dying of laughter in the first fifteen minutes and just had to make timestamps. Very very long under the cut.

0:00 Phil is wearing his rainbow zebra shirt! Being his best self.

0:03 Wow was that second “daddies” necessary Phil? (Yes, it was.)

0:42 “Cause you know Dan and Phil they like to have the raw naked-”- Dan

0:45 “Immersion”- Phil

0:46 “They just like to go in-”- Dan

0:47 “Are you saying we’re going to have to be blurring some things-”- Phil

0:48 “Bare. What?”- Dan (what?)

0:58 “Give me that Daddiest graphics.”- Phil

1:00 “Oh it’s like Yuri on Ice.”- Dan

1:10 Phil will be a long haired vampire in ten years. Yes, something to look forward to.

1:25 “Phil, don’t do your chin like that, you’re fine.”- Dan (damn fine)

2:07 “Is that your best dad voice?”- Dan

2:14 “Do you wanna be Dad?”- Phil (sass)

2:15 “Phil, everyone wants you to be Dad.”- Dan (the honest truth)

2:34 “Moving house? Oh my god!”- Dan (omg!)

2:45 “Coordinating the headband with the nails.”- Dan (noticing the important stuff)

2:46 “Definitely.”- Phil

2:53 Phil’s yawn, wtf was that? Sounds like a dog.

2:55 “Are you American now?”- Dan

2:56 “I don’t knowww.”- Phil (poor frustrated Phil)

3:03 “Build that Dad!”- in sync

3:30 “Dilddy! No?”- Phil (Dan’s face)

3:36 “Yeah sure. Let’s not think about that anymore Phil.”- Dan

4:04 “Thor. We just made Thor by accident.”- Phil (always with the Thor)

4:07 “Ah the bun hair.”- Dan

4:08 “Man bun.”- Phil

4:09 “That’s very like modern dad aesthetic.”- Dan

4:12 “That’s quite Dil-y”- Phil

4:13 “That’s the most Dil-esque, I think.”- Dan

4:19 “Heart eyes.”- Phil

4:20 “SENPAI!!!”- Dan

4:30 “Can you just have heart eyes the entire game?”- Dan (are you asking for permission Dan?)

4:31 “The whole time.”- Phil

4:32 “Is that just going to ruin the game?”- Phil (no.)

4:33 “Would that be slightly distracting?”- Dan (well, yes.)

4:58 “Noman Rose.”- Phil (has a bit of a Roman nose)

5:10 They love the lips, sassy mouths

5:39 “He banged it on some kind of exercise equipment.”- Phil

5:40 “Wrestling another dad for territory.”- Dan (sure)

5:45 “Yes!”- Phil is excited by facial hair options (and I’m excited for him)

5:50 “More people should have black hair and blonde beards.”- justifying your ginger eyebrows Phil?

5:51 Dan has to think a second before agreeing

5:55 Hunger Games aesthetic, okay.

6:00 “I asked you yesterday if you’d grow a full beard. If you wanted to. Like what’s your answer to that question?”- Phil (I’m going to cry.)

6:04 “What in like twenty years?”- Dan

6:05 “Yeah.”- Phil

6:05 “Yeah, sure. I’ll give it a crack.”- Dan

6:06 “Do you think you’ll ever have a full beard?”- Phil

6:09 “Ever?”- D

6:10 “Ever.”- P

6:10 “Yeah, maybe in like ten years when I finish going through puberty.”- Dan

6:13 “I kinda wanna try.”- Phil wants to try a beard, people! And it might be a different color than his fringe. I see.

6:15 “This is the best part!”- Phil on clothing

6:19 “Can’t you just like have nothing?”- Phil (for underroos apparently)

6:22 “Captain America! Yes!”- Phil (nice six pointed star)

6:25 “Egg nips. I mean totally, I can see that.”- Dan

6:31 Phil saying “Daddy Dil” kills me

6:35 “Cats! With a suit jacket.”- Phil (we have a winner)

6:43 I agree with Dan about that pattern, it reminds me of party centers, roller rinks and tour busses. Phil with the Saved by the Bell reference.

7:00 “Goals. As the kids would say.”- Dan

7:26 “Be that dad. The dad you always dreamed to be.”- Dan

7:28 “Now do we get to date some dads?”- Phil Lester asking the important questions.

7:58 Phil’s second child syndrome

8:13 “No mum’s must exist in this universe!”- Dan (okay Dan, interesting justification)

8:35 “I was just given a bin bag and some sticky stars to say I was a ‘wizard’. Yeah.”- Phil (dang that’s cheap, Lesters)

8:43 “Princess Dragon!”- in sync

8:45 Dan would watch a scaley fairytale movie

9:05 “I wish I had a horse phase.”- Dan (I’m glad I did)

9:09 “Or a Horse Prince phase.”- Phil (he’s not over it)

9:11 “Oh we all had that.”- Dan

9:20 “Why aren’t we going to McFridayz?”- Phil

9:50 Adoption +1

10:00 Kangaroo existential crisis

10:19 “Hit me.”- Dan

10:25 “He knows what to do.”- Dan (getting really into it)

10:30 “Yeah. Then what?”- squeaky over dramatic Dan

10:35 “And then he ran away with a kangaroo.”- Phil (there are two types of people in this world)

10:44 “Just look him up on Facebook! Or did he die?”- Phil

11:02 “The old house!”- fake crying Dan

11:05 Hawaiian backstories, driving distraction

11:15 Hydration: “I can get behind this.”- Dan

11:22 Phil, waving your hands in the air where Dan sneezes is not going to keep the germs away. Maybe if you both actually covered.

11:33 Everyone does bicep curls in this Daddy themed universe

12:12 Dil Howlter house without the owl slide is no Dil Howlter house at all.

12:44 “Dogs!”- Phil

12:48 “CLICK!”- Dan

12:55 Dog to person ratio should be the highest thing on the agenda for any neighborhood

13:11 “Side quest!”- Dan

13:11 “Dog quest!”- Phil

13:12 “Dog time! I’m here for some cute drawn dogs.”- Dan

13:16 Woofing song to the tune of the Katamari theme!

13:27 “What is this idyllic pastel utopia that they’re living in right now? Honestly.”- Dan

13:30 “Where’s the diseased pigeons?”- Phil (London summarized by Phil)

13:47 “DOGS! (toddlers) NOT INTERESTED! (dogs) INTERESTED!”- Dan

13:52 Panting puppies D&P

14:05 “A corgi! Of all the dogs!”- Phil (this is the only reason Phil agreed to play this game)

14:14 “Delet this doggo.”- Dan

14:20 Second “Bork!”

14:26 “Oh god this is the cutest dog. Can we just do dog adoption simulator instead?”- Phil (I’m sure you could)

14:30 “Pet the dog!”- Phil

14:58 “Woah! Irish father of my children!”- Dan

15:13 Gruff and slightly offensive leprechaun

15:18 Puppy role play ;)

15:25 Phil saw the aubergines come out.

15:35 Phil apologizes for “Dilddy”

16:05 Dan loves the freckle representation.

16:22 “Oh my god it’s a Dad Child Proud Of Brag Off”- Dan (very Undertale)

17:33 “Bam. Amazing.”- Dan, “Slapped.”- Phil

19:55 “I’m torn though, cause he has a corgi.”- Phil

19:57 “He has a corgi, but-”- Dan

19:58 “Can we not just date him to hang out with the corgi?”- Phil

20:01 “Can we date him, adopt the corgi and then break up with him?”- Dan

20:04 “Yes!”- Phil (a good plan)

20:33 “I mean let’s just get our own corgi. Let’s adopt a corgi.”- Dan (a better plan)

21:07 Dan would read horse fan-fiction.

21:36 Chocolate coffee beans btw

22:11 “*Sigh* Why would people sit next to you, they always do that though don’t they?”- Dan

22:26 "Am I being helpful or am I cluttering up everyone’s life?“- Dan

22:44 "Oh my god!”- Dan

22:45 “Another Dad.”- Phil

22:46 “With the ta- the glasses, the hair, the piercing.”- Dan (tattoos)

22:49 “Good layering. On the outfit.”- Phil

22:51 “Definitely.”- Dan

23:00 Dan doesn’t like the “too cool” vibe.

23:13 Husky voice ;)

23:38 Dan would not be able to hold a conversation with this guy in real life. Probably because he sounds too much like himself.

23:48 Iced Tegan and Sara (yay!)

23:02 Phil got the pun!

24:49 Couches (Starbucks sofa)

24:50 “Okay Amanda, wow. Life isn’t all about listening to cool music. It’s about enjoying the music that you like.”- Dan

25:00 Good lumbar support is important. It’s comfier than their couch. *giggles*

25:48 “Okay I’m about this.”- Dan (feeding kink)

25:50 “He’s got food!”- Phil

25:53 “Yes. Tick that box.”- Phil

27:08 Phil likes Mat’s awkwardness

27:10 Dan is on the fence: “I don’t know how to feel. Runs a coffee shop, bit of a hipster, is socially awkward, gives you banana bread. I think it’s looking mostly good.”

27:27 “Ohhhh.”- in sync (using 'baby’ in flirting)

28:00 “Wow. Are we adults? Cause we just moved recently.”- Yes Dan, you are adults.

28:08 “Do I smell bad?”- Phil

28:09 “Noo.”- Dan with a quick sniff, barely leaning in, he clearly already knew the answer.

28:16 They agree that the dark and mysterious stranger is the most intriguing part of the story. Stupid look at camera.

28:30 Acknowledging that they still have boxes

28:42 Pink duck, succulents and XBox 360 “Nice”- Phil

28:56 “Get the hell out of my life!”- Dan

29:00 “He’s too perfect already.”- Phil

29:08 “Robot. Robot. Robot.”- Phil

29:36 “Guffaw.”- Dan

30:13 Yeah, just move again guys!

30:28 Phil feels bad for kangaroo jokes earlier.

31:11 Phil likes the do over, time flipping, reset thing.

31:33 Louise story mention.

32:18 “What is that wink?”- Dan

32:30 “All of these daddies are mixed bags.”- Dan desk slamming returns

32:40 “He’s a bloody angel. He’s an angel.”- Dan

32:42 “He’s got a dark secret.”- Phil

32:44 “But also angels are terrible. Stop feeling bad by comparing yourself to an angel.”- Dan

32:48 “Dark secret.”- Phil

33:07 “Plot twizzle.”- Dan

33:45 “They are definitely possessed. I told you, dark secret.”- Phil

34:05 “Christie, Christian and Chris. Wow.”- Dan

34:08 “Evil.”- Phil

34:09 “Definitely.”- Dan

34:28 Exorcist

34:34 “Time for the nappy ding dong.”- Dan

35:01 “Bro”- Dan  "Bro"- Phil

35:20 That look

35:22 “Old college roommate.”- Phil

35:23 “Just sayin.”- Dan

35:35 “River. Oh my god.”- Dan (good name)

35:42 Nice baby gurgling Dan

35:51 “Survived that hazing together.”- Dan

36:00 Phil enjoying the matching eyebrows

36:06 “Maybe they got that scar together, doing something, as roommates.”- Dan

36:30 “Copacabana.”- Dan

36:50 “Clearly we didn’t have the American college experience. We did the Smirnoff Slam.”- Dan

37:05 Jogging with baby imitation

37:12 “Wow. Dilddy is just every person probably on the internet and YouTube, in the community watching this.”- Dan

37:25 “Wow. So relatable.”- Dan (shush Dan, #relatable is your schtick)

37:30 “How is he so ripped if he never jogs though?”- Phil (umm you selected that body type and said he works out.)

37:37 “Bro brunch.”- Phil, “A bro brunch?!”- Dan

“Why do we never have bro brunches?”- Dan, “I don’t know”-Phil

“What the hell is a bro brunch?”- Dan, “I don’t know.”- Phil

37:52 “Jog on, Craig.”- Phil, “Jog on, Craig? Jesus.”- Dan

38:18 “I mean, there’s like, stuff in that, isn’t there.”- Yes Dan, they’re tomatoes.

41:01 “The blonde guy.”- Phil

41:10 Phil likes coffee shop guy. Gee I wonder why. Dan is unsure, too cool.

41:30 Dan likes the blonde: confidence, wants to make you happy, “that’s who Dilddy needs in his life, at this important time.” (Dear god Dan can you not?)

Phil still thinks he’s a robot with satanic children. Yep.

41:51 Gee Phil you don’t seem into it. (probably just tired, maybe headache)

42:08 “Thumb it”, tickle, etc.

42:45 “Get a dog.”- Dan

[yes-man-luvrrr]

… Clown is gonna cry-

REBLOG if you have amazing, talented WRITER friends.

Because I certainly do, and I love every single one of them and their work.