#just recently talked to a friend who is very into the whole '''community''' narrative and yeapp

[muppetminge]

i have some burning takes on why '''the community''' is so bullshit for lesbians especially looking at the bt axis but y'all ain't ready for that <3

[genderkoolaid]

Hello I am here pretty much just to complain about something small that i cant really say without sounding like a transmisogynist anywhere else, I hope that's alright

I was reading a post about how we're living through another red scare, lavender scare, and satanic panic all at once, and the post as a whole had very good points and I agreed with it a lot. OP got to a section about the current lavender scare and specified that she was talking about the recent wave of transphobia and said something about how everyone in the queer community was affected but it is very targeted at those who challenge gender norms, "especially trans women like [her]."

This genuinely isnt anything against OP of that post and I'm not trying to say that the legislation isnt heavily transmisogynistic. I'm not trying to minimize the transmisogyny coming from all sides. I just think it's a little unfair to minimize the way that transmascs are at least equally affected, and it hurts when other queer people seem to ignore that we're being hurt too.

One of my transmasc friends is being forcibly medically detransitioned because of this. Another was planning to go on T next year and now he cant. Some of them, including me, are worried they'll never be able to because of autism diagnoses. Rhetoric almost identical to the Irreversible Damage book is spreading rampantly everywhere we look. Transmascs are being hurt too. They want us gone just as much as transfemmes, but it seems like a lot of people are ignoring that.

I recently saw a post that had an addition by someone I know to be transandrophobic saying something similar ("trans people are facing genocide, mostly trans women").

I think its one part "people in general are ignorant to how transmascs are materially affected by transphobia" (see: The Archive of Violence Against Transmasculine People) and one part "there is a general narrative in trans spaces that trans women/amab trans people are The Most Oppressed* and trans men/afab trans people are only impacted by a few annoyances"

*this doesn't mean that trans women are always treated well in trans spaces. Honestly I don't think this narrative does much to improve things for trans women at all, all things considered

[idleorbitals]

okay actually I just want to talk about this scene:

ray has been feeling out his own feelings this whole episode (while sand sits beside him taking psychic damage off every "he's my friend" doled out) but here he's explicitly inviting sand in, in a way that we haven't really seen him do yet. yeah, it's a bummer of a moment for it, but it's actually some stellar emotional outreach, especially considering what this scene is following

obviously boston was way out of line on multiple levels, not least for implying that ray was somehow betraying sand by not having already confessed his feelings for mew. this is not information ray owes to sand at this point in whatever they got going on. but the cruelest thing boston has just done is place both of them in a narrative that they think they belong to: ray as broken, toxic, and unlovable; sand as secondary and disposable. they will both believe these things about themselves given any prodding, and boston (along with ray, through no fault beyond his own reactivity) has just given them a hell of a prod.

still ray manages here—with frankly stunning composure and vulnerability—to offer sand an in on the mess. and it's a real offer. after he says don't listen to Boston; if there's something you want to know, ask me he stops and gives sand time to ask him, and then prompts okay? when sand doesn't respond, and then we get to watch his face fall in real time as he realizes that sand's deciding not to take him up on it

we end on a low note because sand doesn't trust ray enough to reach out in kind. this is certainly not unjustified, given the imbalance sand sees in their feelings for each other. and maybe it's wise, given what's we've seen in the previews. but it's a travesty for both of them in this moment. when sand turns away we can see on his face that he wants ray to reach out; we can hear the hope in his voice when ray touches him and says his name, and then the disappointment when all ray has to offer is a reminder that it's sand's terrible no good very bad birthday.

meanwhile ray, who has been given several recent boundaries lessons and has generally been good about sand's, takes sand's words and body language at face value and doesn't push further. instead he pulls his hand away again and turns this utterly crestfallen look at the ceiling as he slips back into his own story about himself

the communication mismatch has come for raysand and it won't be over anytime soon methinks

(all ofts watch throughs)

[educating-bimbos]

The Pinned Post 2

new pinned post because tumblr hid my old one from my view so I can't see, edit it, or reblog it to add an addendum. I only have a few things to add, so I am just going to copy and paste it.

Who is Educating Bimbos?

My name is Nicolette. I am a technical artist, musician, and an outdoorsy type of gal. I enjoy the finer things in life, and I fancy myself a traditional woman and a bimbo. I don't really enjoy mindlessly obsessing over labels, but if it helps people gauge where my brain is at, I am pro-patriarchy, in favor of traditional gender roles and dynamics, an ex-feminist, and before all else a believer in one's ability to exercise personal freedoms. My beliefs, mannerisms, and presentation attract the ire of feminists, born-again-religious types, and any number of anti-fun douchebags. At the end of the day, just remember that behind this silly blog is a silly person.

What is Educating Bimbos?

It is a blog and small community of bimbos looking to learn more about and express a traditional lifestyle. It is also about people who may not be familiar with or comfortable around things like BDSM get a nice and soft introduction to it without being exposed immediately to the idea of how people can enjoy things in a pseudo-sexual context. At the end of the day, it is a blog and community where I and other like-minded people can express silly ideas without the fear of being lambasted by people seeking to harm others.

Where is Educating Bimbos?

Educating Bimbos can be found in one of these two places.

Why is Educating Bimbos?

Well for a while I was annoyed by the lack of communities that focused on a kind of "hyper-feminine" aesthetic while also promoting more traditional ideas. There was also the issue of communities that have tried this before of devolving into bigoted and abusive communities that would do everything under the sun to create an insular and ToS breaking community. I spoke with a friend of mine who runs a similar community a while ago and she inspired me to give this a shot. Now - close to 3 years later - I have a steadily growing community that pulls from all corners of ideology, cultural, ethnic, and interest level and the discord has been almost completely drama-free in its whole existence.

When is Educating Bimbos?

I am alive and doing silly stuff all day, every day. Except when it is nap time in which case I will be in the realm of dreams.

What's an ex-lesbian and why do you call yourself that?

For a number of very personal reasons, I have decided to call myself an ex-lesbian. I did this of my own volition, and I was not pressured into doing so. For a long time, I had thought of myself as a lesbian, mostly because of socialization and how all the girls around me were so might as well follow suit. I experienced a number of harmful and traumatic events when I considered myself a lesbian and it effected how I view myself. After a while and talking to some friends who I trust dearly, I came to the realization that I am not a lesbian and that it really isn't a thing I identify with the same way others do. I am still trying to come to grips with that given I only relatively recently had that realization. I also feel that people use that term in bad faith to harm people and to push bad narratives and ideas so I thought "hey might as well try and take back what should be an innocuous phrase."

In short, I think an ex-lesbian is just a way of identifying one's sexuality similar to asexuality or demisexuality. It is not that I am one sexuality or another, it's that my sexuality is defined by my experience and coming of age.

I have had a number of people confront me about this, talk to me about it in sincere curiosity, and even attack me. I welcome anyone who is curious or has a genuine contention to come to me in DMs, I am not a mean person, and I will love to talk honestly and respectfully. I find that disagreement is not grounds to discredit or avoid befriending people, I hope you can do the same.

Further questions for Educating Bimbos?

If you find that these questions are unsatisfactory in any regard, or you wish to try your hand at doing what I do, follow these two links!

Ask me anything!

Ask me anything you want! I have some personal rules with regards to what I can and cannot upload, but this is generally the best way for me to answer any question you may have. I also have anonymous asks enabled just in case you are shy.

Submit a post!

If you think I should be made aware of something, post something, or if you just want to signal boost something try this. So far, I have no real rules or expectations so do whatever you want with this button.

[iwanthermidnightz]

To me, these articles responding to that opinion piece aren’t so much concerned with contributing to the conversation, but with jumping on a topic for clicks that has been blown out of proportion because it made some Swifties uncomfortable. Meanwhile, the actual subject the piece is about has been unbothered by it and taken a woman on her arm to the Golden Globes.

And before anyone tries to counter—yes. We all know why Travis wasn’t there. Yet she has other male friends and even Austin she could have taken with her. Or gone alone.

I think the real conversation should be why it’s ok to “obsess and speculate” over Taylor’s sexuality when it’s assumed to be heterosexual, but an issue to “obsess and speculate” over her sexuality when posited that she could be queer or that her lyrics have queer undertones (if that’s the right wording).

People speculated for SIX YEARS that she was married to Joe Alwyn and were very much recently speculating that Travis was proposing over Christmas. Someone on Deuxmoi speculated she had a miscarriage, which (in addition to the pushed marriage ceremony narrative) pissed Tree off and prompted a direct response. But hey, those are completely fine, because those are built around a heterosexual construct. (*sarcasm*)

Yet, when an article brings up queerness and Taylor Swift in the same sentence, based on words written a spoken and actions conducted by Taylor herself (who as we know, prides herself on writing her own lyrics), it’s suddenly “harmful speculation” or a “delusional obsession” by a group of people projecting their “fantasies” and sexualities on a woman who has said she is straight.

Yeah, all while placing herself smack dab in the middle of the (LGBT) community in YNTCD….when she could have been Ryan Reynolds in her own video.

But I digress.

I think what’s really harmful is when people like Misha Collins (for example) tweet at Taylor about the piece saying his DM’s are open if she wants to talk because “he’s been there” (when idk, she could just talk to Shawn Mendes, who her “associates” threw in traffic while voicing their dismay).

After all, a few years ago at an event, Misha himself said:

"By a show of force, how many of you would consider yourself introverts? How many extroverts? And how many bisexuals?" Then said “I’m all three”.

He later “apologized” calling it “clumsiness of his language”. Saying his intent “was to wave off actually discussing my sexuality”, but he “badly fumbled that” and understood that it was seen as him coming out as bisexual.

So….here we are. Bisexuality (in the queerness family tree and used among the words “extrovert” and “introvert”) is being posed as “clumsiness of language”.

It’s just interesting to me how people use “obsession” and “speculation” in context of sexuality.

I very much agree. Thank you for putting this into words.

The most concerning part (and this has been the case for years and years) is how comfortable people (usually straight) are with accusing queer people of a whole slew of problematic accusations rooted in their ignorance and unwillingness to understand queer experience, culture and history, and their obvious intent of trying to hurt and gaslight an already vulnerable community with the most malicious rhetoric. It tells me the views/experiences of the lgbtqia+ community are not valued. At least not as much as heteronormative standards.

Like the guardian article mentioned yesterday,

“the entertainment industry is perfectly fine with its biggest stars flirting with LGBTQ+ imagery. It’s fine with its biggest stars draping themselves in rainbow flags and making statements about allyship. Dare to suggest that those stars might actually be gay, though, and you’ll see quite a lot of old-fashioned homophobia coming out.”

Moral is, it’s clear society is ok with using queer culture when it’s beneficial, and at the same time using it as a scapegoat when they feel threatened by it.

It’s the double standards and hypocrisy for me. It’s exhausting.

[mrpenguinpants]

YOU POSTED A THING! Ignore how long it took me to write this up, I've been,,, honestly? I've not been doing things, I've also not been doing this, but-

So the two plots stolen from Genshin is the Chenyu Vale story quest, and I've forgotten the second one, oops- I thiiiink it's kinda like the Mondstadt festival (the one where u have to pick that fuckin flower and it didn't matter abracafuckyou /lh)

LOOKING AT MY THINGS THERE WERE MORE okay hold on-

So the concept of the campaign is every character is a fallen god who's forgotten their divine life, and they regain a shred of their memory and now must find a way to ascend due to the fact that only Whole Mortals can reincarnate/be reborn, but if you die as a mortal-body divine-soul That's It (yadda yadda, non-dnd approved type shit; there are actually multiple ways they could go about it but I have no idea what they'll do beyond revive the sun) - One player didn't do that, but it's fine, he is instead POSESSED by a goddess, it's chill, and I adore his backstory and he's the only one with a backstory tightly interwoven with the world's lore and local area the campaign takes place in he is THE ONLY MAN WHO MATTERS T O M E (/j)

The Genshin Quests that I have plots for bc I stole them are as follows; Natzissenkreuz Ordo, Chenyu Vale, and the Windblume Festival. I won't get into it rn so you don't have to tag this ask as spoilers (unless... thinking emoji) BUT oooOOOOooOoOOo you wanna hear abt my dnd So Bad sdfsdfsdfg (I just wanna talk abt it SO BAD bc we're on a month hiatus bc one player's in the middle of bumfuck nowhere for a while)

I ALSO HAVE A ONESHOT PLANNED FOLLOWING/INSPIRED BY THIS YEAR'S SUMMER EVENT IN GENSHIN! I'm planning on running it at two tables (different groups) and potentially even a third when I get to sorting it out, ASK ME ABOUT IT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE asdfgh

DND ASIDE- I recently found out one of my irls plays Genshin and I've been talking to him about it and honestly??? very nice, very fun (very demure /j) asdfgh I got into genshin to play w/ some other irls but now I am the last,,, genshin player standing,,,, and we're gonna help eachother farm when Natlan comes out bc I love running domains >:3 I'm a lil domain fiend

-Lucky

Ignore the fact that I'm responding backwards. But the pressure did work 👀 now I just need it to happen again because I blinked, and a month rolled around. I thought it was at most a week but no, my sense of time is fucked.

I'm so bad at names, and I barely do the story in any game I play unless I'm forced to (I missed an event in ZZZ because I wasn't on the third chapter yet ;-;). So I don't remember if I've done, seen, or even heard of the Chenyu Vale story, but I do know Mondstadt, at least.

I love it when my friends actually get invested enough with my imagination/ideas that they actually tie things into the ever-working narrative ;u; sometimes I feel like people don't do it because (they don't fucking care lol) they don't want to overstep on something that's made up by you. I understand, but man, it feels so uplifting when it happens. Keep that man alive. Are you planning on revealing parts of their divine life as the campaign goes on? I remember watching this youtube short about DND where they basically say that each player is given a blank sheet, and as they progress through the story they learn more things about their characters based on outside reactions.

I only know Windblume Festival but if it's a required quest/event quest, then I've most likely played the others. But yess, feel absolutely free to dump all your DND lore since I know you can't say it to your players unless you reveal too much. I'll tag spoilers in case you want to get more specific with the genshin quests because I do not remember any of them.

Here is your spotlight Lucky, lay it on me. What is this summer event-inspired oneshot?

I was talking to an old anon on another blog and it kinda makes me sad how the genshin community died out. Not in the sense that there's no fandom there, but that old players have either quit or lost interest. It makes me wonder if I even like genshin or if I write it because it's what I've been doing for so long.

[es46]

Something of a muse that struck me recently. During discussions with associates on Black White 2 and the Pokemon World Tournament, I recalled a character there who if spoken to would give you little facts and details about the gym leaders and other notable characters present. When he spoke about Skyla, one of the details he felt noteworthy to mention was that she was close friends with Elesa. Now, it paints an interesting image, because of course it gives the impression that some people only regard Skyla so much by her relationship with Elesa, not her own accomplishments. And she is accomplished - a caring community member, prodigal pilot, mechanical design and in general a competent career woman. But to some, regarding Elesa as the far more prodigous and infuential figure as a world-famous supermodel, Skyla's own achievements feel second place to her privilege in being Elesa's closest confidant and friend. Not to say that's the whole picture of perception, but it can make for an interesting nuance to the pair's dynamic. Skyla herself often talks highly of Elesa, in example exclaiming a touch of envy to how well Elesa handled her Pokemon, and while sincere to her adoration, you wonder if Skyla herself feels a touch of inadequacy, that in a way she's only considered a second banana to Elesa. Which in turn makes it just as interesting that Elesa will repeatedly reference Skyla, even when she's not around, as someone she admires just as much, stating her stylish and admitting that she can feel more like herself and less pressed by the expectations of her career when she's with Skyla. It really makes for an introspective look at how the two perceive each other, what facets of their relationship coud be explored, and overall proves heartwarming in their continual support of each other. Irregardless of romantic or platonic interpretation, I do find Skyla Elesa's synergy a very engaging narrative and can hope future media continues exploring their nuances, befitting one of Pokemon's canonically closest bonds. Thank you for reading and take care.

[crazycatsiren]

Something I've been thinking of lately. It's got me questioning myself and my path again but once you hear why it kinda makes sense why I'm back to questioning myself. I've been thinking about the miracles like at Fatima and Guadalupe. These two particularly in my mind because I remember reading the story from a religious magazine my grandma had where Our Lady, Mary, said "There are so many false religions". And then Guadalupe, I had the honor of being in a rosary with my whole family around one of the copies of the original mural. The guardians of the copy talked about the symbolism on Our Lady's dress and one of the symbols meant the one true god. I'm very particular to these two miracles and, I'm sure this is just the conditioning of the church, but it made me curious how these miracles are explained by the witch community and witch historians.

I'm not trying to discount other beliefs or anyone's path. I'm just curious because it's something I'm recently thinking about and it's bringing me back to the doubt I have in my mind that I know is conditioned by the church. I think I just need to be educated on what's what concerning miracles and the word of God. Especially since my friend says that Our Lady is used as a mouthpiece by the church a lot to push their narrative. I suppose I'm looking for more assurance and I really apologize if you're getting tired of my questions. It's just.... Ugh.

One thing to keep in mind is that religious institutions like the Catholic Church have always had their own agendas, which have nothing to do with spirituality and everything to do with power. They have ulterior motives for making people believe. They know what they're doing to maintain control.

Which is why, skepticism is a good thing, and blind faith is dangerous. Religion is a highly personal matter. Anytime when any supposed authority or organization comes along and tries to turn it into everybody's problem, I know I can't trust them. It's why I kept the Catholic religion in my life, but flipped off the Catholic Church ages ago.

I'm not saying I don't believe in miracles at all. But who's making all the fuss over them, and who's benefitting? These are the questions you have to ask.

[msvorderofoperations]

More dream journaling

I was living with my family again, but we were in the midst of packing everything to move. We were moving because the home we currently were in was haunted...I think. Details were vague at this point, and there were definitely other factors in play. Once everything was packed away, we were deciding what to do to kill some time because the move was happening the next day. The idea of seeing a movie is floated, and we happen to be right next to a theatre.

We go to see a movie (I think it was TMNT: Mutant Mayhem, of all things) and as we're filing into the theatre, I see a content creator whose work I used to follow (The Spoony One, if you're familiar). And it also just so happens that a group meetup for the Rooster Teeth community is happening at the same time. After the movie is over, I get recognized by someone who is documenting the whole event. They then pivot the narrative to talk about my contributions to the community, which were not numerous but were very significant. I had fundamentally changed the meta of several of the games that the community played and/or created. I created a style of sign off in a community content driven show that a lot of people ended up using. I made a bunch of animations using assets provided by Rooster Teeth and other members of their forums that a lot of people found inspirational. It is worth noting at this point that none of the things I was being cited as influencing actually exist, but it carried a very powerful feeling of being real.

And after all of this deeply moving and happy reminiscing, I then run into a former friend that I cut off some years ago. He has changed very much as a person, but along the lines of why I had to distance myself from him. He is deeply bitter about the fact that I stopped being in touch with him, and has made hating me a big part of his identity and he has a whole group of people with him dedicated to the same. He doesn't even ask why I stopped hanging out with him, but just assumes that everything was done out of malice. But as he does in real life, everything he says and does is passive. Snide remarks and heckling are all he can muster.

Not wanting to put an end to the "this is your life" style presentation the Rooster Teeth documentarion has put together, it continues despite my former friends interruptions. It then moves to the times long before I joined the RT forums, where I had done things like enter robot fighting tournaments, been tech support for a lot of people, and built my own computers and laptops, all while being in elementary school. It even goes into how I railed against and maliciously complied with disciplinary efforts made by the schools I was in at the time that were downright dystopian. All of these things were done with style and panache that I absolutely did not have as an early child, much less as an adult in real life. As none of the people who will read this will know, I did not do any of the things being showcased in this dream, apart from cutting off my friend. I don't doubt there are a few people who miss my presence on the Rooster Teeth site, but I was first and foremost a lurker, and only posted very occasionally. And it was never anything as ornate and involved as the things being remembered here. All the same, I was deeply awash in nostalgia for the early internet, and this is something that has happened a couple of times in my recent dreams.

Once the whole remembrance had wrapped, I was asked to join in on the rest of the day's events. As I did, slipping back into old behaviours felt as natural as breathing and as comfortable as a pair of perfectly sized gloves. The entire time I felt so at home and complete that I began to wonder why I had ever left. In reality, I stopped being part of the community because the staff (in ways I was never able to confirm or really even investigate beyond hearsay and second-hand accounts) had mistreated a number of my friends. I will not go into details as I don't actually know for certain that these things happened, and this was many years ago at this point.

All while this is happening, my former friend is standing at the sidelines and endlessly shittalking. At this point I take him aside and go over why I stopped being around him (he was entirely passive about everything in his life and would never take any actions to improve or change his situation and I couldn't be around someone like that even in my 20s), and why I think he needs to move on from me to start growing as a person. He finally relents and leaves to do some reevaluation of his life.

The idea that having this single conversation and fully changing someone's life is egotistical to the point of narcissism, but I won't deny that the idea of getting closure on this whole thing felt very satisfying. And around this time, I woke up.

[wondrouswendy]

Maybe a weird thing to ask, but since you seem to thoroughly enjoy it I figured I'd ask you - is WoW something someone can still get into with no prior knowledge? I've always been somewhat intrigued (I play a lot of Wizard101 which google seems to relate to WoW). But it seems daunting. Not sure if you have an opinion maybe? 😅

Yes, because I technically brought my friend on board. @rangerzath always memed on WoW calling it a game for """nerds""" (said the nerd) and toward the tail end of the Legion expansion, I brought them on board. We played retail for a few expansions and then with the return of Wrath of the Lich King Classic this past October, I convinced them to try Classic as well in order to play the original version of the Death Knight class (their favorite class).

First of all, it depends on what version of WoW you want to play. Retail vs Classic.

Retail is pretty hand-holdy with leveling and some aspects of class introduction, but endgame might seem very daunting and isolating if you aren't familiar with the social systems in the game. Some people would say that Retail is very casual friendly and the content is arguably soloable outside of instances and raids, but the whole premise of a MMORPG is to do endgame content ultimately. Retail WoW falls into this category pretty hard because the leveling experience is so streamlined and quick.

Classic in its current expansion (Wrath) is IMO a solid hybrid between MMO and RPG. The leveling experience in Classic is drastically slower, which allows new players to really immerse into the world in which they are questing. You become much more familiar with your character, your character progression, the setting, the world, the stories (some are better than others). Not to mention, as someone who just did the full 1-80 leveling experience recently, you genuinely do find yourself "creating" your own narratives as you overcome leveling obstacles. Emergent gameplay. However, this experience is much more enjoyable with friends or a guild. It can feel very grindy and isolating alone (some people might enjoy that though).

For Classic's endgame, however, I think it's near mandatory to be part of a guild. This means you need to pick a good server. Unlike Retail, Classic servers are sequestered communities--there is no cross-server interaction outside of Player vs. Player experiences. This means that you as the player live and die by your reputation on the server. Guild leaders will ask you about your past guild experiences (if applicable) and if you make an ass of yourself (not saying you would) you could become infamous if the server is small enough. There are some servers that are "mega servers" where you probably could become invisible. Smaller servers like the one Zath and I play on are much more tight knit. You cannot be a one person band in Classic. You are dependent upon other players, and that can be a double edged sword. I haven't had negative experiences in that regard because we guild shopped and found a home that so far has been welcoming and positive.

Overall, the raids in Classic are easy. Don't let people fool you. They are fun on a social level, nostalgic level, and sometimes on a gameplay level. Character progression feels more meaningful.

In general, WoW needs addons in order to play ""optimally"" so if you're someone who isn't comfortable downloading third party mods then this may not be the game for you.

Unless you're talking about WoW's story, in which case good luck because it's about as bad as comic book lore--meaning it changes every few years and probably not for the best.

Overall, I am biased to Classic currently. Wrath was the best expansion, and I can say as someone who played Retail Wrath and now Classic Wrath, it's not rose colored glasses. Gameplay systems were fair and rewarding. The developers valued player time. In Retail, activities don't feel very rewarding because there is so much time-gating. There is FOMO in Retail. In Classic, I have two characters who are well geared for the "phase" we're in and all I did was raid for two weeks with my guild. I'm not finished with my classic characters by any stretch, but I feel like I can breathe and enjoy other games. When I played Retail seriously, it felt like a hamster wheel.

I could go on and on about what the pros and cons are. If this has helped in any way, great. If you're thinking about trying the game, it costs $15 a month. I could give you a refer-a-friend if you're serious about trying it as a trial.

My final answer though? I would tell people to play Classic over Retail currently.

[variousqueerthings]

hi! it's me, the anon whose relatives collectively look like latino ralph macchio, i have just finished watching cobra kai! and uh wow! wow! wow. i feel gratified that season 5 finally like properly acknowledged that tkk3 was like A Whole Lot, and uh wow. i'm still reeling slightly from all of it. i did a lot of yelling at the screen from basically the first episode. the dynamic between kreese and silver is very Wow. the whole baby plot thing was very uhhhhhh. literally every "happy" reaction felt forced it was really weird. sam and tory!!!! wow!!!!! (also,,, robby and miguel 👀👀👀👀) clearly the answer is polyamory. it's almost always polyamory. also i love chozen and amanda both. more of them please. wow.

i'm exercising restraint and will not go into every single thought i've ever had but also as someone who does brazilian jiu jitsu it's really interesting to watch all the fighting in a completely different discipline and also the queer potential of a martial art that's almost entirely floor grappling is truly being missed out on yeah uh fun times wow. wow. i may have more coherent thoughts after more time has passed.

also your ck posts are galaxy tier and reading them has been a great joy as i descend further into this fandom

took me a sec to get back to you friend, but I am here!

wonderful wonderful news on the watching front, you really powered through the homoerotic karate show!

kreese and silver = insane and in love since the early 70s

sam and tory = slightly less insane about being in love for... a year and a half?

robby and miguel = brothers? in love? johnny's sons but also 👀👀👀

chozen and amanda = the bisexuals who have figured their shit out and no kind of side-eye the rest of the gang while drinking mojitos?

the answer is always polyamory

please talk about any thoughts you have, I enjoy them immensely

THE QUEER POTENTIAL OF MARTIAL ARTS (and it doesn't help that they give everyone their designated narrative foil of the same gender and then segregate the sport almost entirely????? I'm not a fan of the segregation At All, but it's like... so it's gay. I'll take the fact that it's gay then at least)

I am so happy the posts have brought you joy. I'm finding a place to enjoy this show from a new perspective these days -- the one in which I can really rest on the fact that it will have a probably ridiculous and terrible overdone ending in which none of the original themes are properly executed and resolved, but!

but that does not negate the fun I've had, both with some of the canon material, but especially with the fandom, which has been very important to me these last few years

and you've been a part of the recent change, where I can enjoy what it is and turn it into what I want it to be on my own/with some cool people from this fandom, where we focus on what we enjoy and kvetch about what we don't, and it's a community experience either way

[designaday]

Interaction 23: Undesign the defined

Wednesday, March 1st, was the beginning of the conference proper. I took advantage of the hotel breakfast assuming that there wouldn’t be much provided at the Zürich Convention Center. You see, the conference has been the primary source of income for the organization, and we had two years during which the conference was only online. So, I knew the budget wasn’t going to allow for some of the extravagances of past years. 

Unfortunately, not everyone realized that. Interaction has a reputation for providing an outstanding experience, which is fitting for a User Experience conference. I overheard someone say that they had told a co-worker that the conference always provides a lot of great food, but there was no food to be had. In fact, the coffee service didn’t start until 11:15 am. This immediately generated a bit of a scandal. How could you not provide coffee first thing in the morning? There were many people who arrived only to turn around and head back out into the cold to find a warm beverage and a bite to eat. I’m sure there were good reasons for this decision—likely financial ones. The mistake was not communicating this ahead of time. Even though we hadn’t been in-person for three years, there are expectations. I guess it fit with the day’s theme: Undesign the defined. But enough about Coffeegate. The conference was about to get underway.

Congress Hall was a very nice space. The large windows on the left wall were unexpected. I’m used to dark theaters, but the daylight made the space feel expansive and open. It didn’t seem to negatively impact the visibility of the screen.

Brenda Laurel gave the opening keynote: Designing Interactions with the Earth. This was one of those talks that just introduced a whole bunch of stuff that I wasn’t previously knowledgeable about. From Miyawaki Forests and 3-D bio printing to vertical farming and cultured meats, Brenda guided us through all of the innovative approaches companies are taking to reduce our impact on the planet. I was especially impressed with the solar canals in India that not only generate electricity but save more than 250 million liters of water annually lost to evaporation.

After Brenda’s talk, it was A.I. all the way down. Andreas Markdalen, Global Chief Creative Officer at Frog, outlined the current state of design claiming that design has lost its meaning. Then he gave an overview of all the new paradigms introduced through artificial intelligence and wrapped up with three potential narratives for the future of design. Christopher Noessel, Design Principal for Applied AI at IBM, explained how they’re equipping designers to design for AI. Norbert Krizsán asked if we can build machines that teach us instead of making decisions for us. Nadine Bienefeld talked about machine learning and trust as applied in medical diagnosis. 

Daniel Burka brought the day’s closing keynote: Can designers save lives? Not by themselves. He used his recent work with Simple, free software supporting large-scale hypertension and diabetes management programs, to illustrate how designers participate in projects tackling wicked problems.

After the keynote, they brought all of us Regional Coordinators on stage to recognize our local groups.

The activity of the evening was local agency tours. I had other plans. It was Jason Mesut’s birthday, and I joined his party at The Penthouse, a hip, Japanese, rooftop restaurant, lounge, and nightclub. Good friends, good food, good times.

[chirpsythismorning]

My favorite combination of endgame byler proof dates back to the promotion for season two (bc of course it does)!

About a week before s2 premiered, David Harbour did an interview, and deadass the only thing that makes any sense in regards to what he could possibly be referring to here, is endgame Byler:

"We’re talking about ending Stranger Things at either season four or season five. I know there is an end to the story. It’s a very beautiful end. We’ve already been laying out the pipework. There are easter eggs in season one that you won’t get until season four. You’ll look back and say ‘we’ve been seeing this story the whole time, we just haven’t realized it’. To me, that’s wonderful.”

Now, one could try to argue that David was referring to Will’s sexuality/feelings for Mike here, and I would agree, at least partly, because David’s wording sounds an awful lot like what Noah said recently in his interview with Variety:

"I mean, it’s pretty clear this season that Will has feelings for Mike. They’ve been intentionally pulling that out over the past few seasons. Even in Season 1, they hinted at that and slowly, slowly grew that storyline. I think for Season 4, it was just me playing this character who loves his best friend but struggles with knowing if he’ll be accepted or not, and feeling like a mistake and like he doesn’t belong. Will has always felt like that."

Where it gets complicated though, is that if David was referring to solely Will sexuality/unrequited feelings in this interview, then it doesn’t really make sense for him to frame it as ‘wonderful’.

But, it is important to note that David was talking about the ending, not the beginning of the end, which is what s4 ended up being. His assumption back then, was based on his knowledge of the ending, and how long he hoped the show would go for them to close off that story.

S4 obviously wasn’t a 'beautiful', nor 'wonderful' conclusion to Will’s story arc involving his sexuality/feelings for Mike being built up since s1. So, even if that’s all David was referring to, we are still yet to see the payoff.

This is where the damning proof combo comes in...

Most of you probably know, but as promotion for s2, Spotify collaborated with Netflix for official playlists dedicated to each of the ST characters. It was said that these playlists were specialized and unique to each characters traits.

But especially when it comes to the first song on each of these playlists, almost all of them are instantly recognizable as to why we can assume they chose that song, for that specific character, to start off their playlist. And arguably, even for the most casual of viewers.

For El it’s, Papa Don’t Broach. Pretty self explanatory.

For Will, it’s Should I Stay or Should I Go. Again, self explanatory.

For Mike, it's Smalltown Boy...

To those who don't know, Smalltown Boy (1984) is an unequivocal gay anthem about a young, gay man in the 80's who experiences homophobia and alienation in his small home-town, only to leave (run away) by the end, in order to be happy.

The music video leans even more blatantly into this narrative. Here it is beside this shot of Mike in 4x01 (one of the very few POV shots we got from him in s4, might I add), and it fits quite well with the Smalltown Boy agenda...

To be clear, this isn't just some song the queer community loved and so it turned into a gay anthem overtime. Because, yeah, there are definitely some songs that lyrically just feel like they could be queer (despite not intentionally being), and so the gays sort of claim it and it gains even more meaning and importance over time. However, that is not the case here. This song is undoubtedly one of the most intentionally gay songs of the 80's. And a heartbreaking SYNTH one at that!!!

If the hints for Will were intentional back then (confirmed), then it’s highly likely Smalltown Boy being the first song on Mike’s official playlist, may just be one of the many Easter eggs pointing to the fact that Mike has also been gay (and in love with Will??) this whole time.

Also worth mentioning that when Finn was recently asked about M*leven's relationship in season 5 (the ending), he had this to say;

"I don’t know, I’m really interested… I don’t know, I’m interested kind of like for the end of the show kinda in general (…) Who’s gonna stay in Hawkins, who’s gonna leave. Who’s gonna try to find a life outside. Is there even gonna be a Hawkins? I don’t know. But yeah. I’d be interested to see if Mike stays in Hawkins, or tries to find a life outside of his town. And also, you know it’s hard to tell, like obviously with Eleven and his relationship, but I hope they find, you know, happiness."

When they make-up after fighting in 4x04, Mike tells Will that Hawkins isn't the same without him. After literally listing off all of their friends, basically separating them from Will, "They're great... but-" sort of confirms to us that no matter what Hawkins has to offer, without Will, it's not the same to Mike. Which means if Will isn't going to stay in Hawkins at the end (he won't), Mike probably wont either.

TBH, Will and Mike both having feelings for each other since the beginning, and ending up together, fits a whole lot better with: ‘we’ve been seeing this story the whole time, we just haven’t realized it. And I think that’s wonderful’, than an unrequited love story does....

And the fact that all of these easter eggs, for both Mike and Will, started picking up more prominently after season 2, makes the Duffers whole "what is s2?" act right now even more funny...

[absolutebl]

I've been showing a good friend BL twice a week since early pandemic. She's seen a lot of the best stuff, and recently finished To My Star 2. We were discussing how the seme/uke and top/bottom perceptions affect how the characters are portrayed.

With TMS2, I commented that the scenes we get to the end where they keep switching who is big and little spoon felt like a tasteful way to show that they were versatile. We also noted that Pat and Pran are never shown in a way that confirms their positions.

Does your spreadsheet track anything regarding top/bottom presentation, and do you have thoughts on BL and how it presents this?

Verse Characters in BL 

What an interesting question.

Well I would argue that Fighter & Tutor are the only Thai BL couple who are explicitly verse, in their case they talk about it openly in terms of "showing ownership" which is pretty clearly code for who fucks whom. As in, the idea of being taken or taking (invasion) = ownership. Trust a BL script to use the language of war for an act of communication and connection. 

My spreadsheet doesn’t track this because it’s so rare. I remember a couple other times getting very excited about it (other than Why R U?) but not which shows. 

Okay here’s our biggest example: 

Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese shows them verse (explicitly depicts the sex act both ways), but it’s one of Japan’s discussions about the nature of identity and intimacy and possession. It could actually be argued that the whole movie is a debate of what seme/uke means and does to its characters, what obsession means, how long term devotion without consequences of boundaries corrupts. It’s kind of like the very dark version of what could have happened to the characters in My Beautiful Man if they had never managed to find each other and reconcile (and Hira learn to accept and express himself). The leads in CMDoC are genuinely at war, so the lens showing us who fucks whom as an expression of who is winning the narrative battle at that point in time. 

Look, I don’t like this movie, but apparently if it’s Japan I’m always going to have a lot to say. 

I mean there needs to be enough self aware queerness in the BL to realize this should even be addressed - otherwise just slap seme/uke on it and conflate personality with sexual preference (SIGH). 

Also the BL has to somewhat follow the characters into the bedroom, and it would need to be higher heat which, in and of itself, is pretty rare. 

So I did a heat ranking, then a ratings sort (since I’m more likely to rate verse characters higher) and here’s a short list of ones for which a case for verse... could be made. 

Why R U? - Fighter & Tutor (no question - couched in a request to “prove/show ownership”) 

My Day - Ace & Sky (also I think this is pretty clear via their sex scenes - they were the other ones I was thinking of, also they engage in some fun light kink, I LOVE these two) 

To My Star 1 & 2 - implied by the cuddling debate in 2

Bad Buddy - actually they imply, when asked at one point, that it’s still open to debate between them, so we don’t know what they settled on but given their dynamic, probubly verse 

HIStory 2: Crossing the Line - ZiXuan & YuHao, I mean YuHao's fantasies go both ways so I think he, at least, is verse

Mr Cinderella - mostly because of the linguistic grappling, but also both actors have a history of the seme role (clearly also implied top) in their other BLs, they swap tropes around a lot too in this one 

His the movie - it’s just... not important 

Ai no Kotodama - I actually think they have a kinda conversation about this, it’s been a long time since I watched it though, and 2010 = intentionally confusingly vague about everything 

Boys Love - right so there’s a bit of an underpinning dialogue about this in both installments. In both cases I think the “teacher” is meant to be the bottom, but also the student is so desperate and so needy there’s an implication that he would do ANYTHING, including alter his whole identity (even sexual preference as a top) in order to be with the object of his desire, which is part of what makes their love destructive - it cannot and does not conform to... anything, least of all seme/uke (which at the time, when present, was always conflated with Top/bottom). 

Either of KarnNat’s pieces, I mean I think Nat is meant to be the catcher, but they don’t act their higher heat scenes that way, it’s extremely mutual, and power exchange back and forth in terms of who kisses whom and stuff. 

Frankly, any of the couples who have no seme uke are open to debate since in Thai BL especially Top/bottom = Seme/uke (it shouldn’t, but in the narrative it’s implied). BL couples where there is no seme/uke

Be Loved in House: I Do - YuZhen & ShiLei, maybe 

Double Mints - fuck ‘em, though 

Ingredients 

My Tee 

Wish You 

Second Chance - PaperFah

Seven Days 

So Much in Love - North & Onsah, there’s no seme/uke in this Thai pulp, but it’s so much a pulp and so confusing I’m not sure if that’s intentional or just failure of narrative clarity and poor acting 

Your Name Engraved Herein - I am NEVER watching this movie again, but from my recollection of the characters’ behaviors, maybe?  

Gameboys 2 - I have only seen discussion here and the previews, but I think they make this pretty clear in conversation and behavior

Hey Rival I Love You - certainly entirely up in the air in all ways

Love is Science? - Mark & Ouwen, I think the flip flopping of who’s on top/in charge in their sex scene implies general experimental willingness, shall we say?

HIStory 3: Trapped - TangYi & ShaoFei, possibly, ShaoFei is hesitant because he’d scared, but that’s of the implications and intimacy of being a couple, not really of sex. After all he runs away when TangYi is too nice and gentle with him.

I honestly think My Engineer 2 should go there with RamKing. They are perfect characters and actors to do this with. But Thailand really doesn’t have the guts. 

Other pairs who I think can and should rep verse? 

First & Toru 

PokeTongue 

MaxTul could absolutely portray verse. Why they haven’t yet is a weakness of Thai BL and y-novels inability to stop heterosexually vomiting all over their gays. 

Weirdly? EarthMix, I think they could and should do a bit of a FighterTutor sitch in Moonlight Chicken. 

Crosses arms.

Impress me, GMMTV. 

A reminder: 

So top/bottom/verse is difficult because it means we follow the characters into the bedroom AND have a glimpse into their penetration preferences, that means very high heat, and there is (statistically) less of that in BL.

As opposed to Dom/sub/switch which plays into personality and correlates better (but not perfectly) to a seme uke dynamic because it is about who has the power to make decisions.

And my definition of Seme/uke - which is the character showing the most narrative drive to consummate the relationship (physically or otherwise) = seme. 

Finally: 

Sexual preference does not correlate to personality! Please stop this. I put it to you in het terms: 

If you are a straight women who likes to ride reverse cowgirl style does this show up in your personality as you walk around in your day to day life? No it does not. 

So a boy likes to fuck or be fucked - that’s like cake verse pie, it doesn't say anything about how aggressive that boy is in relationships. And prying into that dynamic is tantamount to me asking you about the details of your penetration preferences. (Which, to be fair, I probubly would, but I'm a curious, rude, intrusive shitmonger.) 

Also, it behoves me to add, plenty of gay men do not like penetration at all. Plenty of straight women don’t like it. Or don’t like vaginal but do like a-play. And plenty of straight men like to be pegged. A-play has to do with how sensitive you are, how relaxed, how prepped, how much lube, whether you find the idea a turn on when applied to yourself, how self conscious you are, and a host of other factors. 

Puts proverbial soap box away while reminding you that soap = also to be used prior to such encounters. 

(source)

[paradisetemporarilymisplaced]

So I was being a basic bitch the other day and listening to my true crime podcasts when it occurred to me just how suspicious Nile’s “death” would look to everyone not in the Guard, leading me to a train of thought that, 2200 words later, absolutely got away from me but I can’t let go so I’m inflicting it on all of you!

To set the stage, we know the movie takes place over approximately a week. Here’s what happens to Nile from the military’s point of view:

She dies is very seriously injured

She heals without a scratch

Just before she’s supposed to be shipped out to Germany, she vanishes, leaving two men concussed (and presumably reporting being knocked out by a woman with short hair wearing civilian clothes)

She goes AWOL for several days

They get word from the CIA that she is to be reported killed in action (details unclear)

So, at the beginning of this very weird week, the USMC has to tell Nile’s family of her death critical injury. What her family was told depends on how long she was dead – a Google search tells me that family will be notified in person within 8 hours of a soldier’s death, but we don’t know how long her first death lasted. For an injury, however, they’d get a phone call to notify them and the unit would arrange for them to visit as soon as the soldier is transferred out of a combat zone. Like I remember when I was in high school, a guy from my church who was a Marine was really seriously injured in a helicopter crash in Iraq and from what I could tell, his parents were told immediately and were flown out to Germany to see him, so it stands to reason that Nile’s family would have been informed relatively quickly after her throat was slashed, one way or another.

And then, she goes AWOL. Her family would be notified while the USMC tried to figure out where she went, not least because the military would want to know if she’s contacted them. (And it’s possible that her family may have been on the way to Germany to see her since we know that’s where she was supposed to go!) So for several days:

Nile’s mom and brother have no idea where she is

They know she was seriously injured and most certainly should not have been moving around on her own

They can’t get a hold of her

The military can’t tell them anything

And the next thing they know for sure is that she was “killed in action.” After being injured and vanishing into thin air. And they presumably cannot produce her body or any concrete evidence of her death. In any case, something sketchy is going on, so they’re like. SMELLS LIKE A MILITARY COVERUP.

In a surprise to probably no one, there is a well-documented legacy of mysterious US military deaths, particularly of women of color (TW for sexual assault in these links). The cases of LaVena Johnson and Vanessa Guillenin particular have made national news because of their families’ persistence in seeking justice. Likewise, Nile is a Black woman, and her mom and brother are most certainly hypercognizant of (a) state violence against Black people and (b) these high-profile cases of suspicious military deaths. So her family are seriously side-eyeing the situation, knowing that (a) the military has a serious incentive (and a documented history) of covering up things that make them look bad and (b) nothing about Nile’s disappearance and supposed death are adding up.

And Andy’s right. Nile does come from warriors. And you know who else does? Her brother.

Don’t get me wrong. Nile’s mom would absolutely not back down. She’d know something was up and want to get to the bottom of it. But based on what I know about Gen X parents (mine), they’re not the most technologically savvy. Like they can use the internet, but they didn’t grow up with it the way we young millennials and Gen Z did. So Nile’s brother takes the lead. And what do zillennials do best?

Social media.

Nile’s brother starts going hard on any site he can, trying to get the word out to see if anyone knows what happened to his sister. He starts a Reddit thread. He starts a Facebook group. He reaches out to the media and true crime bloggers and podcasters à la Sarah Turney, getting loud and being a general nuisance in hopes of getting some answers. He gets his friends and Nile’s friends involved. Maybe eventually Dizzy, Jay, and others from Nile’s unit hear about it and reach out, telling him what they saw and how weird it all was. He’s drumming up interest, and soon “Nile Freeman” becomes a household name (at least among the true crime fans).

Copley is, of course, trying his best, but at this point there is just so much that it’s impossible for him to scrub everything. Sure, he can erase new footage of Nile and the Guard, but what can he do about Reddit threads and podcast episodes that are speculating something weird has happened? Maybe he could hack the sites and shut those things down, but honestly, that’s the last thing he’d want to do, because that only adds weight to the theory that Nile’s disappearance is a military coverup. So eventually he has to tell Andy what’s going on.

Andy, obviously, does not take the news well. However, she is also completely computer illiterate, because that’s Booker’s job and he’s the only one who ever bothered to learn what the internet is in any meaningful way. (She probably calls Booker for advice, and for the record, I think Booker would have no qualms about shutting down conspiracy threads, tinhats be damned, but Copley is too concerned about the consequences. He’s ex-CIA for crying out loud, he knows how it’ll look if they scrub every mention of Nile’s name from the internet.) Maybe she confers with Joe and Nicky but, let’s be honest, they’d be equally unhelpful. So at this point, she knows they have to bring in Nile.

But the thing about Nile is that she, too, knows how to use the internet (duh). Aside from her being a young millennial/digital native, we know from the cave scene where she’s giving Booker suggestions on how to track Copley that she clearly is even more computer savvy than the average person. And for that reason she almost definitely took over the day-to-day tech stuff after Booker’s exile. So I think it would be foolish to expect her to be unaware of what’s happening. She’s not contacting her family or posting on the message boards or anything, but she knows what’s up. So Copley and the team probably sit her down to “break the news,” but we know the girl does not have a poker face (see: literally shooting herself in the foot and not being able to play it cool whatsoever) and cracks immediately, telling them she’s seen everything about her case – she’s not interacting with any of it, she certainly didn’t instigate anything, but she knows. (And she is so goddamn proud of her brother.)

At this point, I’d like to pause and consider Nile’s role in the overall narrative of this movie. She’s set up as a foil to Andy, obviously, but she’s also a foil to Booker. Booker, who, like Andy, is a serious pessimist, but who, unlike Andy, still has very fresh memories and trauma associated with being the new kid, which have destroyed him. In his mind (and Andy’s), if Nile communicates with her family, she’ll become just like him in a century or two – bitter, alone, and stuck with her grief and memories of watching her family die and knowing they died resenting her. It’s a small sample size, but this is the only experience they have to go off of.

But it doesn’t have to be like that.

There’s been a lot of discussion of TOG being a fundamentally queer movie – a group of people brought together because of something inherent about themselves that is different, that must be hidden, that causes others to hate, fear, and reject them. Booker’s backstory is the archetypal traumatic “coming out” story – his family learns who he is, hate him for it, and attempt to cast him out of their lives. He’s stuck with his trauma, his pain, his loss, and it consumes him.

But what if Nile’s family would be the opposite? What if her “coming out” to them as immortal is met with acceptance, love, celebration? What if her family is just overjoyed to have her back, and they don’t care what the circumstances are? I'm reminded of this incredible post from @shitty-old-guard-deaths a while back, where Nile’s mother hits Booker with a frying pan because “my baby let me believe she was dead for FIVE YEARS based on your bad advice???” (which may or may not have inspired this whole tangent). Nile takes the advice of someone who did the same thing she wants to do because she doesn’t want to risk her family’s rejection. She wants the good memories with her family and is afraid that showing them her true self will bring her unbearable pain, forever replacing those memories. But, with high risk comes high reward.

Anyway. Nile and the team are trying to come up with a plan for how to handle this whole thing, but she’s not really participating because she’s too afraid to hope. Until finally, quickly, so she doesn’t lose her nerve, she suggests she reach out to them, knowing that, realistically, that’s the only solution before things snowball even further out of control. The team is shocked, but realize that she has a point. They decide that Copley should actually be the first point of contact, posing as a US government official to talk with them and test the waters.

So Copley goes to Nile’s family’s house to talk with her mom and brother. They’re probably distrustful and apprehensive, but nonetheless secretly ecstatic that their work has paid off. They talk and review all of the information that they’ve collected, including testimonials from the people on Nile’s base and recent sightings (along with photos) of Nile (with the same three people) over the last few years that people have sent them but they haven’t posted publicly. At this point, Copley’s like, yeah this is about to blow up, we gotta put our cards on the table. He convinces them to come with him to some safe house/black site/whatever he can get that is technologically impenetrable (I’m picturing them in like, an interrogation room at a police station kind of deal), takes their phones, locks the doors, and brings in Nile.

What follows is the most delightful reunion scene of all time, bringing Joe, Nicky, and even Andy to tears as they watch and listen from outside the room. With Copley’s help, Nile tells her mom and brother about her immortality and what’s been going on since she died (within reason, of course), and they are thrilled. They don’t understand why (because no one does) but they don’t question it and they see it as a gift from God – she’s been resurrected, she will live, and she has a purpose. Her mother and brother are so happy to see her again and are willing to agree with pretty much anything to stay in her life as long as they can.

So. They set up some complicated agreement (they bring in the other three for support/intimidation as needed) setting the terms of their relationship. They swear Nile’s family to secrecy, maybe bringing up the lab to show how high the stakes are, and they readily agree. They come up with some cover story for Nile’s brother to share on the message boards (maybe that the government has opened an investigation but because it’s an open case he has to shut it all down? Tells people to direct their tips somewhere else? Something to that effect). There’s still speculation, of course, but without Nile’s brother at the helm providing the energy, the hype dies down as news stories are wont to do without any movement. And Nile’s family goes to work for the team. The experience has taught them that Copley can’t possibly do everything himself, especially when it comes to social media, so Nile’s brother takes the lead on the day-to-day tracking/social media while Copley and her mom focus on finding jobs and scrubbing their traces afterward.

So there you have it: Nile gets to integrate her biological family into her found family and spend the rest of their lives with them as it should be, Copley gets some badly needed help managing the reality of social media, the team finally has a positive narrative surrounding outsiders Knowing About Them AND about interacting with people from their previous life, and the audience gets the happy ending to this very lovely and very queer story to counteract the pain associated with Booker’s family.

Plus, you know, I’m a sucker for both a good government conspiracy theory and for Nile getting every good thing she deserves.

[troquantary]

Cutting Hair as Punishment in the Twilight Saga

Okay, I’ve been trying to organize my thoughts around this into a sort-of-essay format for a while, because I find it disturbingly mean-spirited: Meyer has a pattern of using hair-cutting as a form of punishment for characters, especially female characters, who fail to embrace Bella and the Cullens with open arms. I’m talking particularly about Leah and Lauren, both of whom, while not outright antagonists like Victoria or James, are situated along with Rosalie as “against” Bella throughout the series. The Quileute pack, meanwhile, is situated largely “against” the Cullens, meaning Jacob and the rest of the pack get the Haircut of Shame, too.

(Also, I’ve been creeping through @panlight ‘s blog because I thought she had a recent post relating to this -- I was probably thinking of this submission and her addendum, which does discuss Meyer’s “punishment” of certain characters, but that post was about characters suffering for not waiting for True Love, or daring to do the Devil’s Tango before marriage. Still, it’s on-theme and very much worth reading, like all her stuff!)

So here’s the general outline: first I’m gonna talk about the shapeshifters and how their overall lack of choice frames cutting their hair as something forced on them and therefore punitive. Then I’m going to discuss Meyer’s FAQ response where she reveals that Lauren was tricked into cutting off most of her hair over the summer before New Moon, and how this adds an extra fun misogynistic element to the hair-cutting theme with respect to Lauren and Leah. I also use way too many words to do it, sorry.

Punishment | The Shapeshifters Are Given No Other Option

I don’t have the background or knowledge to discuss the significance of long hair to indigenous culture and identity in detail, and my understanding is that different tribes ascribe different meanings to it. What I’ve read it about it suggests that, generally, long hair represents strength of one’s individual spirit and of the community. It’s a source of pride, and is only cut off voluntarily in extraordinary circumstances, often as an expression of grief, or to mark a significant life change.

This sort of works in the context of the shapeshifters all cutting their hair -- phasing into a giant wolf, discovering the existence of the supernatural, and assuming the role of protectors is a major life event for these characters. But the negative associations make it a troubling choice on Meyer’s part, and that’s without even getting into the problem of her imposing her own worldbuilding onto the legends and culture of a real tribe. Because of the lack of choice involved in becoming a shapeshifter, the whole situation feels like a scenario in which the Quileute characters have their hair forcibly cut -- a degrading and traumatic act that (depending on their particular tribal belief) might symbolically sever them from their sense of cultural identity and connection with the rest of their tribe.

It all kind of begs the question: why does Meyer even have shapeshifting work this way? What narrative utility is there in having the length of their hair in human form determine the length of their fur as wolves, thereby compelling the shapeshifters to cut it so it isn’t a physical impediment? It’s another sign of the changes in Jacob, sure, but he’s already being uncharacteristically cold and distant, plus suddenly has the physique of a fit twenty-five-year-old; Bella already knows something’s very wrong. His short hair is just another jarring thing for Bella to notice and mourn, like the loss of Jacob’s “baby face” and general sunniness.

It does work as a symbolic thing, representing another sacrifice Jacob has to make and the change in how he now has to perceive himself -- but he’s already got a literal giant wolf form to represent that change in identity/self-perception. Forcing him to cut his hair too just feels like piling on. My argument here, which I hope will be supported when I discuss Lauren and Leah further in, is that it’s not just piling on, but actively punitive -- because much like Leah and Lauren are “against” Bella, the pack at large is “against” the Cullens pretty much through the end of the series.

The Quileute pack is definitely not a Cullen fanclub. The entire purpose of their existence is to destroy vampires, and the truce they have with the Cullens isn’t friendly. They still don’t particularly like or trust the Cullens even after allying with them in Eclipse, and in Breaking Dawn Sam is fully prepared to go to war against them to enforce the treaty. Bella expresses frustration with Jacob and the pack for not appreciating the Cullens more, yet is curiously less willing to scold Alice, Edward, or Rosalie when they call the Quileutes dogs and complain about their smell. (I think she might reprimand Edward for it at some point, but I don’t remember the exact passage.) Bella even starts throwing around “dog” and “mutt” as an insult herself -- I think we know whose side ol’ “Switzerland” is on, here, and whose side Meyer is on as well. The Quileutes aren’t exactly enemies, and in fact are crucial to the Cullens’ survival in both the newborn and Volutri conflicts, but they’re punished nonetheless because they aren’t wholeheartedly Team Cullen from the get-go.

So to explain why I’m so convinced that there’s a link between hair-cutting and punishment in particular, let’s talk about Lauren. There’s a definite gendered element to it this time, too -- by being tricked into cutting her hair, Lauren isn’t just diminished/shamed, but rendered (*thunderclap*) unfeminine.

Lauren Was Rude To Bella Like Twice, Let’s Humiliate Her

I think Meyer’s answer to the question “What happened to Lauren’s hair?” on her FAQ page speaks for itself:

Ha ha. I had fun imagining this one—I only wished that it had fit into the book somewhere. Lauren fell victim to the “model discovered in the mall” scam. An alleged modeling agent approached Lauren in a mall in Victoria, B.C., and told her she was a natural model. Lauren ate it up. The agent told her that if she did something edgy with her hair, and took some high quality head shots, her future was assured. Lauren followed the instructions—dropping fifteen grand on the pictures taken by the agent’s partner—and waited for her career to begin. She’s still waiting. Snort.

It’s pretty obvious that this was done spitefully. Here’s the list of Lauren’s crimes against humanity Bella at this point in the series: 1) she was jealous of the attention Bella was getting as the new girl; 2) she talked behind Bella’s back once, saying Bella might as well just sit with the Cullens now (and she isn’t wrong); 3) she eyed Bella “scornfully” the day of the La Push beach trip; and perhaps most damningly, 4) she’s blonde.

Post-haircut, she has the gall not to be thrilled that Bella’s deigning to speak to the lowly non-Cullens again, then sides with Jessica after Bella uses Jessica to make a point to her dad, is shitty company, and then risks getting them both raped and murdered in Port Angeles so she could get off on her hallucination of Edward’s voice.

I think it’s pretty common knowledge that long hair is tied to patriarchal notions of femininity and attractiveness. Women with short hair are still derided for being ugly, or assumed to be lesbians in a derogatory sense, or simply considered less feminine and therefore less desirable/worthy (because a woman’s worth depends on her desirability, after all). For many women and girls, losing their long hair -- whether because of illness, or gum getting stuck in it, or whatever -- is very upsetting and a hard blow to their self-esteem. Just look at Alice as an example of Traumatic Short Hair; her hair was shorn like that because she received electroshock “treatments” in an asylum. (Although in Alice’s case, I don’t think her having short hair is punishment, but a facet of the traumatic backstory all female characters in Twilight have to have for some reason. Plus, she started the series with short hair, which distinguishes her from the pack and Lauren, who were tricked or compelled into cutting their long hair during the series.)

But Lauren’s so bitchy, so she deserves it, right? Ha ha, she was mean to Bella and cared about her appearance too much, so now she’s ~ugly!

Leah Has It the Worst and It Makes Me Want To Burn Everything

The misogynistic aspect of hair-cutting as punishment is taken up to like, twelve with Leah. Not only does she suffer for being “against” the Cullens along with the rest of the pack (and Bella, too, so extra sinning), but she suffers uniquely for being the only female shapeshifter. A bunch of teenage boys regularly see her naked body against her will. Her previously devoted boyfriend imprints on her cousin/best friend, Sam dumps her and can’t even explain why, and the whole pack -- including her own brother -- resents her for being upset about it, even though she can’t help the lack of mental privacy. Because of that same lack of mental privacy, she has to hear every gripe the boys have about her, plus every enthralled thought Sam has about Emily while she’s still deeply wounded by their breakup.

She blames herself for her dad’s death, because she phased at the wrong time. We don’t get any indication that her fellow shapeshifters or the elders are trying to reassure her otherwise.

And of course, because she’s a shapeshifter, she has to cut her hair. In addition, because Leah’s a woman, this has the same misogynistic connotations as it did with Lauren. In Leah’s case, though, the de-feminization is compounded by her sudden infertility. It’s clear that Leah attaches her sense of womanhood to her fertility, rightly or wrongly -- she bitterly calls herself a “genetic dead end” in Breaking Dawn and thinks of herself as a freak. She feels like there must be something wrong with her, some un-womanly flaw, that made her one of the shapeshifters at all.

Then, just when Jacob starts to see her as a human being worthy of compassion, he imprints on Renesmee and doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything else anymore. No more bonding with Leah, no blooming friendship to help her heal and come to terms with the new realities of her life. (This is one of those dropped threads that aggravate me to no end -- what was the point of having Leah opening up to Jacob, or starting Jacob on the path of realizing he was being a dick to her this whole time and that she’s a person with  value, if he was just going to spend the rest of the book as Renesmee’s love-zombie and never think about it again? Disgusting.)

Leah was a lot more forgiving of Jacob than he deserved at that point in the story, for all the good it did her -- I think she’s mentioned maybe once in Book 3 of Breaking Dawn. At least she got her god-tier moment of yelling at a deranged, pregnant Bella Swan.

Speaking of Bella...

I’m just going to note, for no particular reason, that in Breaking Dawn we get to hear explicitly that Bella’s got hair that falls “almost to her waist” and that she looks like “a freaking supermodel” because she’s so “beautiful and pale.” It just strikes me as a telling contrast at this point.