#just really not ideal
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Before and after pictures of my biohazard bathroom. So y'all can see this particular Horror I've been dealing with lately.
#life of sponty#mold#mould#unsanitary#unhygienic#but yeah it's been hell#only thing left to do now is replace the moldy broken sealant on the bath and sink#which for the record has such nasty gunk in it that I've not been able to take baths in months#because the last two times i tried i got bacterial infections#needed antibiotics and everything#and given i adore baths and they're one of my major self care / mood improvement things#has not helped anything#also i have had a chronic cough from the mold for months now#just really not ideal#but i had a burst of actual executive function that allowed me to finally wrestle the landlords about it#so that's what ive been dealing with last couple weeks
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Making and Remaking Memories
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#little apple#cangse sanren#wei changze#Once again: CSSR's design is hugely inspired by Qourmet's design!#Ah...to be able to recreate a faint memory of childhood. To be able to hold it once more.#To feel just as safe and loved as you were when you were a child and both your parents were alive.#The love his parents had is one where there is trust and respite...#Lan Zhan really is written to be his romantic ideal. He's like...*the* guy who trusts and indulges his lover.#WWX doesn't really know himself very well and has a rather poor insight.#but this is the point where it is genuinely undeniable that he loves LWJ.#I think the brilliance of this romantic plot is that there *isn't* a single point of realization. It's multitudes of moments.#I say 'this is the point' because it's when WWX really and truly puts LWJ in his future.#That's huge for a guy who's been 99% living in the moment.
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"chilchuck isn't a twink, he's a DILF!" now i get why you're saying that but i feel like you've maybe forgotten what chilchuck tims canonically looks like
i'm sorry but this man is a twink. also DILF isn't a body type it's a status (and technically, an opinion) so he can be both
"but he's middle-aged!" look at him. look with your eyeballs. his age has nothing to do with the fact that he Looks Like That. he's a twink. the sooner you accept this the less angry his fandom will make you
edit bc this post has become the bane of my existence:
FAQ
Q: wtf do you mean he's a dad? he looks like a kid. A: he is 29 years old, and a half-foot. half-foots are dungeon meshi's halflings, or hobbits, or whatever you want to call them.
Q: wait, if he's 29, why the fuck are you calling him middle-aged? A: half-foots have an average lifespan of 50 years. chilchuck was originally drawn with grey hairs (you can see that in the manga fullbody) but the mangaka gave up on that over time. he's middle-aged for his race.
Q: hey, doesn't that look like a little angry face on his boot in the manga drawing? A: yea kinda
#as a proud member of the chilfucker fandom i think we should all accept his canon appearance even if we draw him way different#if you can only love him if he looks like a hobbit do you really love him at all?#by all means draw and think of him however sparks joy for you. but this is who he is in the manga and anime and you need to accept that#i love all chilchucks but i just love him in general. ideal man#chilchuck tims#tox.txt#edits made because the tags on this post are my villain origin story#i have now muted notifs!
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forever thinking about royal’s bad ending. my thing with it is that maruki doesn’t necessarily give anyone what they want most, he gives them what’s most appropriate for them to want within a maruki-approved framework. iirc there’s a really interesting text sequence in the game where he just straight up changes someone’s career because they’re not “good” at it, regardless of whether that’s what they actually want. why struggle at all? ever? right?
and so ultimately i don’t think goro akechi’s greatest wish is necessarily ren. i think it’s a wish for sure, but his greatest wish is his own agency. despite any regrets he has and the fact that shido and yaldabaoth treated him like a pawn, he's generally pretty adamant about owning his choices and their consequences. he doesn't want that erased. and instead, you end up with pleasant boy™ if you take maruki’s deal. maybe maruki (incorrectly) thinks sanding off all of akechi’s rough edges will make him easier for ren to love. but the crux of it is really that maruki has to essentially lobotomize him to preserve the illusion of his perfect reality, because their ideologies are so diametrically opposed that akechi would spend every waking moment fighting back.
this isn’t to undermine ren’s importance to akechi btw — he explicitly acknowledges that he wishes they had met earlier, and there are countless moments throughout their confidant that underscore how much it means to him that they mirror each other so well. he absolutely does want more time with ren, just not under these circumstances.
and that’s also what makes ren’s choice on 2/2 doubly devastating. he knows that either way he loses akechi. and if he takes maruki’s deal, he loses him knowing that his last moments with the real akechi involved the two of them being unforgivably out of sync.
#shuake#ren amamiya#goro akechi#takuto maruki#persona 5#DOES THIS MAKE SENSE#this has been on my mind for ages#siri play ideal and the real dot mp3#like the two of them happily playing chess together hits hard bc in another life they could’ve had that#but the thing is#neither of them want another life! they just want each other as is!#me for the millionth time: takuto maruki most interesting antagonist of all time#tired of all the one dimensional evil villains#give me the pathetic wet cat man who projects his issues w his ex gf onto u and turns ur bf into a stepford wife ❤️#will the real goro akechi please stand up#*#wishing i had the time to replay this game for 3rd sem alone but alas. capitalism strikes again. adulthood is a scam#so instead i am rotating these guys endlessly in my mind and throwing my thoughts out into the void#eta: have really been enjoying seeing ppl's tags on this!!!#thank u for rotating them in ur mind as well
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this is not me trying to defend nintendo's business practices or say that either of these games don't have flaws, but I think a lot of the comparisons people are making between breath of the wild and tears of the kingdom are a little unfair and don't really take into account that they are different games with different purposes.
"breath of the wild feels so empty compared to tears of the kingdom" ... yeah? with breath of the wild, one of the game's main themes was isolation. you wake up in the future far after the apocalypse you were trying to prevent has already settled. you have no memories, very little strength. just like hyrule, just like zelda, all you have is your will to continue. breath of the wild is the quiet moments, the secret spaces, the weight of the world that has continued to turn without you still resting on your shoulders.
tears of the kingdom is not like that. hyrule is no longer the wild. it is no longer quiet and lonely. there's community. every sidequest is intertwined. your friends fight alongside you. this isn't "fixing" breath of the wild, this is it's natural continuation. as time goes on the world continues to heal and rebuild. if breath of the wild was clawing hope, tears of the kingdom is direct action.
like yeah there are things tears is doing better and (imo) things breath of the wild did better. but i don't think either one is a replacement for the other.
#tloz#breath of the wild#botw#totk#tears of the kingdom#inspired by two posts#one saying tears should have been botw dlc#which i think must have come from someone who hasn't played tears (which is fine)#and the other saying botw shouldn't have existed and they should have just released totk#which i also don't think would be ideal#personally botw is still my favorite game#its really beautiful and emotional#i do understand and agree with a lot of the criticism against it#but i am fond of the slower‚ quieter pace it has#ive never played anything else quite like it#even totk
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‘home’
#dazai osamu#bungo stray dogs#shipping container lifestyle tbh#no tresspassing#bsd#dazai#i thought him living in a container was really interesting#its the ideal way to withdraw yourself#i also happen to enjoy gritty colors#cant find the quote to this#anyway i just wanted to visualize this in my head
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never change, man !
#phantom of the paradise#potp#swan potp#nightmaretheater#65 layers and about 24 hours . Eeeyyuppp#Look into my beautiful mind boy#Its a bit unusual to what i usually draw#but i had to push a specific look for this piece#hopefully you all are picking up on the corperate look . the advertisment look#Sneeze. Anyways my point is industry destroys creative people. This includes swan#I feel like phrases like these ; how he was put on a pedistal…. it lead him to be Like That#as awful as he is he desperately needed help#it might seem like vanity on the surface#but i think its… more than that#long story short: we need to destroy the beauty industry. the skincare industry. the anti-aging industry#It ruined his psyche forever and he cant let go of the ideal version of himself he will never truly be again#i dont think he can at this point. hes in too deep and hes suffering for it no matter how much he feels hes fixed his problems#he cant accept a version of himself that isnt that perfect young man. because he never confronted his problems. he just ran away#anyways . Hi swath *punches him**kicks him*#i dont care if nobody gets me lalalalla my truths and headcanons are awesome forever and i live in my own reality lallaallal#sorry i think im gonna be posting about swan alot for a few months hes making me sick#i wass gonna post this earlier but my internet was real bad#*lays down in my pile of pillows* eat up boys. haha#sidenote: drawing white blond people is horrifiying. Boy your skin and hair are the same color. Introduce some contrast to yourself. Please#adding on: its inportant to note this focuses on him looking st himself in the mirror alot on purpouse#to remind himself what he ‘’’’really’’’’ looks like#the 4 middle pannels all represent that too . u have to be in my brain ri get this#sorry for unleashijg another swan essay in my tags. will happen again lol
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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as we enter the start of a semester and the dreaded Hour of Making Friends us upon us... if ur ever at a loss for what to say in one of those weird social situations where you only vaguely-know people, one of my favorite questions to ask is "what is your favorite food crime." a food crime is like the food combination that you love that other people find revolting. press them to take it further than pineapple on pizza, that's rote. food crimes is a good topic that has many benefits as it turns out all people are degenerates and also it will give you some cool ideas to try out later in the privacy of your own degenerate kitchen
the other good thing to ask is "okay but has anyone here ever been someplace haunted" bc it turns out if you ask most people directly they don't believe in ghosts, but many people are like "oh yeah i lived in a haunted house. ghosts aren't real tho"
#my food crime is that i regularly make a “pasta and tuna” situation that has somehow gotten even more evil and degenerate over time.#it is a ''white wine reduction'' (it's just white wine and garlic powder & seasoning)#and tuna from a can.#and plain pasta.#if i have the spoons i will actually chop garlic for it but this tends to be my comfort food for a REALLY bad day#bc its super easy to make:#boil pasta. drain. put into bowl for later. into same pot u used for pasta.#put tuna (with oil/water from can). let fry a little for like 2-3 min. put in whatever amount of wine. season to taste.#the tuna will get a little crisp on it which is nice. important side note:#this began as a Bolognese sauce.#and one day i had to sub for tuna. i know. not ideal. i cried about it too.#somehow over time it is now its own little evil thing. i would never make someone else eat it. it is beautiful.#but yeah i don't even stir the pasta in afterwards i just slap pasta into serving bowl#slap this ''''''sauce'''''''' on top#molto bene#(i really can cook fairly well btw. this is a food crime. not a suggestion of skill or ability)#(i LOVE baking but when i cook for myself. the autism is obvious. bc i just don't understand the point of most of the steps)#(.... i can just eat the deli meat out of the bag. it is protein. i don't even have to like it. i just have to eat enough calories.)#(also i used to cook MUCH more before this apartment which is so small that i can stretch my arms out and overreach the counter length.)#(.... i'm 5.2. so.)
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to me there's a kind of bonus meta horror in the bristlefrost's death 'only love' scene where like. ok discussion of misogyny in the series has shifted a bit since then but you know how a few years ago people's main gripe used to be that after completing their arcs female characters would lose their personality and fade into the background to fulfill the generic role of 'mother'? and you also know how bristlefrost's personality and focus began to shift and diminish halfway through the arc where out of nowhere she suddenly reciprocated rootspring's feelings and was rushed into a poorly written romance arc? yeah well there's something really chilling (though not in a way that is in any way tonally intentional. in fact kind of the direct opposite of what the erins were going for and i think i would feel differently about it if her relationship with rootspring was not so uncompelling and short lived until this point) about how in her final moments before her existence ceases and she is denied her afterlife the visions she sees are of romance and love and rootspring and babies. just a total loss of individuality into generic warrior cats love interest and mother. to not be feeling for yourself at the end of it all but what you bring to another character. to just kind of embody the status quo of your series and fade away.
#i might just be a lesbian who doesnt really want kids but the idea your dying memory being boring het romance is TERRIFYING to me#i could see it as romantic if they were a longer term or more well written couple and her reciprocation felt less. narratively obligated#just as how leafcrow is doomed miserable idealism to me so too is bristleroot scary
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something about the main menu for life is strange genuinely makes me wanna collapse and sob
#like not just the music but the overall visuals yknow#it's like this gut wrenching#almost nostalgic ????#feeling that hits like a truck#especially after playing the full game#seeing how peaceful things could be is almost like#i dunno gives me that feeling of dread when you've done something you can't undo#seeing how good things could be but knowing you don't get to go back#sorta thing#it's just#something about beautiful pictures having gut wrenching back stories#does something bad to my brain#naturally#i dunno i'm half asleep and rambling#but yknow what i mean#i'm trying to put it into words as best i can#it's like#it really is just like what growing up feels like ig#especially when it doesn't turn out how you want#wanting to go back and warn yourself so you can hopefully make things easier and more ideal but obviously you can't#that's kinda what the menu feels like#music and all#especially those goddamn birds chirping#ok goodnight#life is strange#chloe price#max caulfield#lis chloe#lis max#pricefield
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I thought it was a good thing abigail wasn’t cannibalised until I realised it meant every part of her was wasted. her death fulfilled no greater purpose. none of her fathers cherished her in the end and she was elevated to no new heights. she was simply killed and laid to waste, unknown and unseen. nobody loved her
#it’s even worse when you realise will thought he cannibalised her#until it was revealed he didn’t#like how he thought he loved her when really he was just trying to escape from himself#she was just an ideal#abigail is the most tragic character in the show literally no one loved her she was used and abused until she died#nbc hannibal#hannibal#will graham#abigail hobbs#hannibal meta#ghost speaks
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kitty colony au anybody?
#dont mind me just channeling my inner warrior cats fan#i tried so hard to make the patterning and colors realistic but still recognizable . btw#im not really a genetics nerd but i try Sometimes#yes ragatha and jax are siblings#half siblings to be exact (jax's father is a lynx while ragatha's is not)#first time ive ever drawn a monkey too! truly a learning experience#anyway i wouldnt nessesarily call this warrior cats? but it can be in the same universe. maybe#i wont tag it as warrior cats since they dont live by the same ideals obviously#theyr just kitties :3#and yes caine is a runaway circus monkey. howd you guess#i like to think im smart#the amazing digital circus#tadc au#tadc pomni#tadc ragatha#tadc jax#tadc gangle#tadc caine#tadc bubble#tadc zooble#tadc kinger#the gangs all here :3#theres no rime or reason for this au to exist i just wanted to take a stab at drawing them all as cats#so take this how you will#tadc colony of cats au
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i adore how mxtx sorta flipped the idea on the whole top/bottom thing with svsss, and just BL relationships in general.
making bingqiu very open to switching, not making the "bottom" super feminine and actually leaning more to the handsome side compared to the "top", how luo binghe is manipulative sensitive and cries easily, etc. one of the main themes in svsss is literally about sexuality (and possibly even about gender roles).
as a queer asian man myself, i absolutely despise the "yaoi archetype" and it was one of the reasons why i avoided consuming BL media. hell, years ago when i first saw heavens official blessing, i mentally groaned and went, "ugh, let me guess, the bottom is super feminine and innocent, while the top is masculine and experienced." of course, that's not the case now, but it's disappointing how that thought was there purely because of the god awful way fetish-y media portrays homosexual people and couples. because, believe it or not, we are not assigned male/female typical gender roles just because one likes to top/bottom (and even then, it's not even like that! some people have preferences, sure, but it's not so strictly "i'm top/bottom")
so, while i absolutely LOVE the english novel designs (especially luo binghe's cute curly hair, gongyi xiao, etc, and personally believe a lot of the takes from the western artist on the designs are an improvement), i am greatly saddened by people subconsciously assigning shen qingqiu as someone more delicate and feminine and luo binghe as someone super masculine and muscly. like, if you're going to have luo binghe depicted as the western design (i believe this stems from binghe being applied to more western ideals for men, and, admittedly, i actually really love his design), at least don't make shen qingqiu feminine and delicate? don't have his appearance play into the stupid yaoi thing?
i get that people have different takes on svsss, especially how the western version depicts it. but, people just... seem to very over exaggerate the top/bottom roles when it comes to bingqiu (again, these two are, canonically, VERY open to switching).
it's weird, it's uncomfortable, and it comes across as, "so, who wears the pants in the relationship?"
so, can we please have more canonically handsome shen qingqiu? canonically beautiful and pretty boy luo binghe (they literallly state that binghe looks EXACTLY like his mom, su xiyan! while a more handsome woman, is still very beautiful!! plus it is stated several times that binghe is slim, and that shang qinghua made him that way!) or at the very least, a BL couple who actually look like normal people (ok thats a little hard considering binghe is literally supposed to be perfect) and not just a stupid fetishized version of themselves.
and no, i'm not saying that queer men shouldn't be feminine or men who are feminine shouldn't be in a relationship with guys who are masculine, etc.
TLDR: please stop twinkifying shen qingqiu and going against what mxtx defied for us queer men (the stupid yaoi roles). and for the love of whoever you believe in, do NOT think that i hate the english design or people's personal interpretation of characters, i just hate the subconscious assigning of gender roles to bingqiu and how media portrays and fetishizes LGBTQ+ relationships in general.
edit: also i love teardrew's (check them out on twitter!) interpretation of shang qinghua. while i do really like the the eng novel design's tiny scared hamster vibes, teardrew's version just radiates "up to no good, paranoid but suspicious looking bitch" rat man and i love it so so so much. i'm not gonna repost their art bc i don't know how they feel about that but perhaps you can search up "svsss designs" on here, you'll see it pop up eventually lol.
edit 2 (1/16): i just saw someone reblog a post (that im pretty sure was referring to this one because, well, if you saw it i think it'd be a little clear kahxj) that was about how bingqiu switching and completely eschewing traditional top/bottom dynamics was a fandom idea or smth? so now i'm wondering, since i swear i remember that they were open to switching, but it's just that sqq preferred to bottom and/or was just a little too lazy to top. plus, sqq is a pretty unreliable narrator who says he doesn't want something one moment and then he does. how could he say no to bingbing? esp if he seems to wanna try bottoming too. perhaps i'm mixing things up though, idk? so if anyone can find that passage that says he only and strictly wants to bottom or whatever please show me! but i think the point of this post still stands haha (i wanted to ask about it, actually, but when i clicked on the og post's user it turned out that they blocked me ? so that was a little surprising oops. hey if ur somehow reading this, im... sorry for making you want to block me bc of this post? akdhxjj)
#JOIN THE 'STOP TWINKIFYING SQQ' GROUP#did i make sense? i have no clue i just wanted to rant about this#i really pulled a cucumber bro there huh#this also applies to GL#thinking about it more#there should be trans men and women bl and gl#and not in a fetishy way#of course luo binghe is still the big strong protag and taller than sqq but come on#i dont believe luo binghe is a twink exactly?? maybe?? but just feminine in a historical chinese male ideals way#for edit 2:#i was just saying how it made me happy that mxtx didn't follow the yaoi archetypes and how i lov her for it <3#never said bingqiu was never done before and COMPLETELY flipped it over skdhjx#but i do believe that bingqiu did a good job providing variety and such :)#same goes for mxtx's other works as well i love her stuff sm#svsss#mxtx svsss#the scum villain's self saving system#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#luo bingge#shen yuan#luo bingmei#bingqiu#luo binghe x shen qingqiu#danmei
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I met the me who made different choices
#idk what this means so dont ask#got the words stuck in my head and this is what I wanted to draw for it immediately#me at my desk. so.#I dont look exactly like this obviously. doesnt matter. anyways#hard time recently in a lot of different ways#lots of work to do!#given up on getting everything done I kind of failed at that. it was too much#so now I'm just trying to get anything done that will make the next 6 months not kill me again#ideally. 3 episodes. or the book#or like at least close enough to that that its basically that#I'm feeling really screwed LOL#I dont know how I've been working every day for so long and still havent done enough...#(its because the work load is way too much)#every time I take 1 hour for myself. to cook. or clean. or draw something else. or play a game. I feel so guilty auauau#I hate webtoon I hate this damn green app...#DOESNT MATTER!!!#what DOES matter is my art is good as hell... look at this shit...#the light. the colors. I love you red I love you green#I need to get more red pants I only have the one pair.#I saw this guy with red pants that had skeleton legs on them and I was like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!! I need them!!!!#I need to start sewing again. I dont have a sewing machine cause my apartment is too small so I havent sewn in years but I really want to..#I want to make clothes again... I need some vests I need some dresses..#I will not make pants or sleeved shirts because I dont hate myself#sketch#art#vent art I guess LMFAO its not#its just this fun little thing we like to call self expression#also this isnt how my desk setup actually is I scooted things around cause I didnt wanna draw anything twice. fuck it we ball#ok back to work
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He dies if you don't pay attention to him, its a very urgent situation for an uncle to attend to.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#jin ling#In the audio drama he's banging on the door and it cracks me up#i really wanted to draw jin ling banging on a window but I could not make it look right B*(#he exhibits such strong needy little dog vibes in this scene#scratching and banging at the door because its *Closed*!!!! how could you do this!!! aughhh!!!#i called him jiang cheng’s designer depression puppy before but this really proves it#this is the perfect and ideal form of a spoiled character. when he gets away beeing needy because he’s loved#JC’s threats are *so* empty. He’s the uncle who says ‘no more candy for today’ and caves after looking at JL’s wet eyes#‘hey op are you going to talk about the clown nose?’ okay sure. it was tucked into the fluff of the dog from the last comic#or maybe wwx just grows them every once in a while when he’s being a clowned on
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