#just really not ideal
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Before and after pictures of my biohazard bathroom. So y'all can see this particular Horror I've been dealing with lately.
#life of sponty#mold#mould#unsanitary#unhygienic#but yeah it's been hell#only thing left to do now is replace the moldy broken sealant on the bath and sink#which for the record has such nasty gunk in it that I've not been able to take baths in months#because the last two times i tried i got bacterial infections#needed antibiotics and everything#and given i adore baths and they're one of my major self care / mood improvement things#has not helped anything#also i have had a chronic cough from the mold for months now#just really not ideal#but i had a burst of actual executive function that allowed me to finally wrestle the landlords about it#so that's what ive been dealing with last couple weeks
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Making and Remaking Memories
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#little apple#cangse sanren#wei changze#Once again: CSSR's design is hugely inspired by Qourmet's design!#Ah...to be able to recreate a faint memory of childhood. To be able to hold it once more.#To feel just as safe and loved as you were when you were a child and both your parents were alive.#The love his parents had is one where there is trust and respite...#Lan Zhan really is written to be his romantic ideal. He's like...*the* guy who trusts and indulges his lover.#WWX doesn't really know himself very well and has a rather poor insight.#but this is the point where it is genuinely undeniable that he loves LWJ.#I think the brilliance of this romantic plot is that there *isn't* a single point of realization. It's multitudes of moments.#I say 'this is the point' because it's when WWX really and truly puts LWJ in his future.#That's huge for a guy who's been 99% living in the moment.
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"chilchuck isn't a twink, he's a DILF!" now i get why you're saying that but i feel like you've maybe forgotten what chilchuck tims canonically looks like
i'm sorry but this man is a twink. also DILF isn't a body type it's a status (and technically, an opinion) so he can be both
"but he's middle-aged!" look at him. look with your eyeballs. his age has nothing to do with the fact that he Looks Like That. he's a twink. the sooner you accept this the less angry his fandom will make you
edit bc this post has become the bane of my existence:
FAQ
Q: wtf do you mean he's a dad? he looks like a kid. A: he is 29 years old, and a half-foot. half-foots are dungeon meshi's halflings, or hobbits, or whatever you want to call them.
Q: wait, if he's 29, why the fuck are you calling him middle-aged? A: half-foots have an average lifespan of 50 years. chilchuck was originally drawn with grey hairs (you can see that in the manga fullbody) but the mangaka gave up on that over time. he's middle-aged for his race.
Q: hey, doesn't that look like a little angry face on his boot in the manga drawing? A: yea kinda
#as a proud member of the chilfucker fandom i think we should all accept his canon appearance even if we draw him way different#if you can only love him if he looks like a hobbit do you really love him at all?#by all means draw and think of him however sparks joy for you. but this is who he is in the manga and anime and you need to accept that#i love all chilchucks but i just love him in general. ideal man#chilchuck tims#tox.txt#edits made because the tags on this post are my villain origin story#i have now muted notifs!
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forever thinking about royal’s bad ending. my thing with it is that maruki doesn’t necessarily give anyone what they want most, he gives them what’s most appropriate for them to want within a maruki-approved framework. iirc there’s a really interesting text sequence in the game where he just straight up changes someone’s career because they’re not “good” at it, regardless of whether that’s what they actually want. why struggle at all? ever? right?
and so ultimately i don’t think goro akechi’s greatest wish is necessarily ren. i think it’s a wish for sure, but his greatest wish is his own agency. despite any regrets he has and the fact that shido and yaldabaoth treated him like a pawn, he's generally pretty adamant about owning his choices and their consequences. he doesn't want that erased. and instead, you end up with pleasant boy™ if you take maruki’s deal. maybe maruki (incorrectly) thinks sanding off all of akechi’s rough edges will make him easier for ren to love. but the crux of it is really that maruki has to essentially lobotomize him to preserve the illusion of his perfect reality, because their ideologies are so diametrically opposed that akechi would spend every waking moment fighting back.
this isn’t to undermine ren’s importance to akechi btw — he explicitly acknowledges that he wishes they had met earlier, and there are countless moments throughout their confidant that underscore how much it means to him that they mirror each other so well. he absolutely does want more time with ren, just not under these circumstances.
and that’s also what makes ren’s choice on 2/2 doubly devastating. he knows that either way he loses akechi. and if he takes maruki’s deal, he loses him knowing that his last moments with the real akechi involved the two of them being unforgivably out of sync.
#shuake#ren amamiya#goro akechi#takuto maruki#persona 5#DOES THIS MAKE SENSE#this has been on my mind for ages#siri play ideal and the real dot mp3#like the two of them happily playing chess together hits hard bc in another life they could’ve had that#but the thing is#neither of them want another life! they just want each other as is!#me for the millionth time: takuto maruki most interesting antagonist of all time#tired of all the one dimensional evil villains#give me the pathetic wet cat man who projects his issues w his ex gf onto u and turns ur bf into a stepford wife ❤️#will the real goro akechi please stand up#*#wishing i had the time to replay this game for 3rd sem alone but alas. capitalism strikes again. adulthood is a scam#so instead i am rotating these guys endlessly in my mind and throwing my thoughts out into the void#eta: have really been enjoying seeing ppl's tags on this!!!#thank u for rotating them in ur mind as well
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sae is definitely someone who loves you more and more through every stage of your relationship. he loves you even more when you’re engaged than when you were dating, he loves being married to you and growing old with you. he loves watching you grow as a person. watching smile lines and starlight grey hair settle into your image, sees it as proof that he made you feel happy and loved. loves the thought of knowing he was there before and after it
it’s such a beautiful and honestly rare thing to have someone who’s love only grows for you with every milestone and who feels like knows everything about you by heart whilst simultaneously feeling like he’s rediscovering you over and over again.
#sae x reader#itoshi sae x reader#sae itoshi x reader#also if u want kids he’s a really great father#either way i honestly see him as someone who keeps photo albums and looks at them w u#he’d love seeing ur kids grow up#like for the record i don’t personally want kids so it’s not like a self indulgent thing ahaha#but he’d love to see a child be like parts of u and him#particularly of u. he’d love to see the ways they reflect u#anw he’s just such an ideal long term partner ino#imo*#x reader
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throwing my hat into the twin dragons ring
#nothing really changes. Drayden is just the bearer of the knowledge that he's raising gods. they're still stupid kids#they bite eachother and start crying when they find green seasoning on their pizza.#the ONLY actual Resh/Zek traits they actually get are the truth and ideals morals and they can survive intense fire and electricity.#they are quite human in literally every other aspect. funny as hell#ALSO they don't even have that much resistance to electricity and fire until it gets actively dangerous.#emmet is still more tolerant to electricty and ingo is still more tolerant to heat due to their starters and the way they've#naturally built it up. funny as hell to me man#also for ease of everything lets just say that in their stone form they're able to transform into something for a natural lifespan#if they agree on it#it just happens to be two autistic train guys this time.#spenxer lou art#submas#pokemon submas#submas emmet#submas ingo#submas au#subway boss emmet#subway bosses#subway boss ingo#subway master emmet#subway master ingo#gym leader drayden#pokemon drayden#twin dragons au
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huge fan of lucanis’ “if i could... i want... forgive me. i’m not certain what i wish to say” line if you go see him after the almost kiss because it sounds SO stilted that he has one hundred percent been drafting this sentence in his mind for hours. and yet this is all he achieves. mind boggling
#veilguard spoilers#i always think about this line in my concept for ‘rook and lucanis have to share a room most of the game so he can sleep’#i think it would be REALLY good said after awkwardly silently getting ready for the night#just after the lights go out so he doesn’t have to look at rook when he says it#and they leave the response so long (if they respond at all) that he’s not even sure they were awake to hear it#THAT i think is the ideal context for this one#oh maybe they pretend to be asleep but he’s an assassin he can hear from their breathing that they’re not#but how could he call them out. what right would he have. so theyre just lying there. both awake. and yearning. like idiots
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‘home’
#dazai osamu#bungo stray dogs#shipping container lifestyle tbh#no tresspassing#bsd#dazai#i thought him living in a container was really interesting#its the ideal way to withdraw yourself#i also happen to enjoy gritty colors#cant find the quote to this#anyway i just wanted to visualize this in my head
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never change, man !
#phantom of the paradise#potp#swan potp#nightmaretheater#65 layers and about 24 hours . Eeeyyuppp#Look into my beautiful mind boy#Its a bit unusual to what i usually draw#but i had to push a specific look for this piece#hopefully you all are picking up on the corperate look . the advertisment look#Sneeze. Anyways my point is industry destroys creative people. This includes swan#I feel like phrases like these ; how he was put on a pedistal…. it lead him to be Like That#as awful as he is he desperately needed help#it might seem like vanity on the surface#but i think its… more than that#long story short: we need to destroy the beauty industry. the skincare industry. the anti-aging industry#It ruined his psyche forever and he cant let go of the ideal version of himself he will never truly be again#i dont think he can at this point. hes in too deep and hes suffering for it no matter how much he feels hes fixed his problems#he cant accept a version of himself that isnt that perfect young man. because he never confronted his problems. he just ran away#anyways . Hi swath *punches him**kicks him*#i dont care if nobody gets me lalalalla my truths and headcanons are awesome forever and i live in my own reality lallaallal#sorry i think im gonna be posting about swan alot for a few months hes making me sick#i wass gonna post this earlier but my internet was real bad#*lays down in my pile of pillows* eat up boys. haha#sidenote: drawing white blond people is horrifiying. Boy your skin and hair are the same color. Introduce some contrast to yourself. Please#adding on: its inportant to note this focuses on him looking st himself in the mirror alot on purpouse#to remind himself what he ‘’’’really’’’’ looks like#the 4 middle pannels all represent that too . u have to be in my brain ri get this#sorry for unleashijg another swan essay in my tags. will happen again lol
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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#a doodley#forgive the wonkiness its been ages since ive tried drawing smthng like this with 2 persons#hence the locked rb-ness of it all#delete later#also once again the ''i cant even begin to imagine an idealized masculinized self (especially since my ideal self would just be me as i am#but with a bit more facial hair and a [_]) so im just putting a mustache on a regular beautified me'' thing is#really funny. yeah we got the elf senshi
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as we enter the start of a semester and the dreaded Hour of Making Friends us upon us... if ur ever at a loss for what to say in one of those weird social situations where you only vaguely-know people, one of my favorite questions to ask is "what is your favorite food crime." a food crime is like the food combination that you love that other people find revolting. press them to take it further than pineapple on pizza, that's rote. food crimes is a good topic that has many benefits as it turns out all people are degenerates and also it will give you some cool ideas to try out later in the privacy of your own degenerate kitchen
the other good thing to ask is "okay but has anyone here ever been someplace haunted" bc it turns out if you ask most people directly they don't believe in ghosts, but many people are like "oh yeah i lived in a haunted house. ghosts aren't real tho"
#my food crime is that i regularly make a “pasta and tuna” situation that has somehow gotten even more evil and degenerate over time.#it is a ''white wine reduction'' (it's just white wine and garlic powder & seasoning)#and tuna from a can.#and plain pasta.#if i have the spoons i will actually chop garlic for it but this tends to be my comfort food for a REALLY bad day#bc its super easy to make:#boil pasta. drain. put into bowl for later. into same pot u used for pasta.#put tuna (with oil/water from can). let fry a little for like 2-3 min. put in whatever amount of wine. season to taste.#the tuna will get a little crisp on it which is nice. important side note:#this began as a Bolognese sauce.#and one day i had to sub for tuna. i know. not ideal. i cried about it too.#somehow over time it is now its own little evil thing. i would never make someone else eat it. it is beautiful.#but yeah i don't even stir the pasta in afterwards i just slap pasta into serving bowl#slap this ''''''sauce'''''''' on top#molto bene#(i really can cook fairly well btw. this is a food crime. not a suggestion of skill or ability)#(i LOVE baking but when i cook for myself. the autism is obvious. bc i just don't understand the point of most of the steps)#(.... i can just eat the deli meat out of the bag. it is protein. i don't even have to like it. i just have to eat enough calories.)#(also i used to cook MUCH more before this apartment which is so small that i can stretch my arms out and overreach the counter length.)#(.... i'm 5.2. so.)
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for the spotify wrapped thing can you do crowfeather with numberrrrrrr 11 maybe :3 love your art btw!!!!!!!
Philadelphia, don't you haunt me
And every time you tried to wash me away Oh, it felt like stolen keys and arms
#crowfeather#leafpool#warriors#warrior cats#wcs#waca#my art#spotify game 2024#ms paint#i feel like crow and feathers relationship would have been really nasty#but they just never got to that point bc things ended early#so now he has to deal with the realtity of what being in a relationship is#and his ideal is just kinda a fantasy based on something that never got to the point where it could be real#anyways
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I love cowboys, they're just like horsegirls fr
#Boothill#Boothill hsr#hsr#Cowboy fun fact! i miss u#Cowboy rules are as follows: Be rootin. Be tootin. By GOD be shootin. But most of all: be kind#I just really like him okay he's the ideal silly goose with an unshakeable code of honor and a profound sense of justice#anyway boothill my love id do anything for you
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wait i feel like i Need to say something re: the kantbison bondage scene in ep3 part 4
i've been seeing a Lot of people be like "yeah no that scene was really off-putting idk ://"... i think that was the point?
neither of them are actually in the moment. kant is very clearly not enjoying himself At All, and bison is inebriated (and drugged???) past the point of real comprehension.
but that's the thing – that scene isn't about the two of them having sex. it's about them trying to desperately get their hands on what they really want.
the show's established that kant isn't into this stuff in the least (as seen post-fadel's confrontation at the tattoo parlor), but he's willing to suffer through it, to grit his teeth and bear through the quite literal pain. he's willing to do anything, as long as he'll finally be able to get the evidence he needs to be free of these things forever.
on the other hand, we've seen bison state over and over how much he's wanted to do all of this, how he's never been able to find someone to actually hold power over. and now bison – younger brother, "never allowed to make a real decision of his own for even a day in his life" bison – is finally, finally able to take control over someone's life; something that's meaningful, something that matters.
that's exactly why i'd argue that the entire scene isn't meant to be "hot" or "appealing," but rather unsettling and weird (especially with the constant cuts to fadel digging(?) mysteriously in a field, but that's a whole other thing).
TLDR; kantbison's first time may have been passion and lust incarnate, but this one is so far removed from that. because, this time, neither of them actually care about the sex more than about what it means – a means to an end for kant, and a first glimpse at unadulterated power for bison.
#errorkey.exe#the heart killers#kantbison#this is just a mess of words and thoughts but i NEEDED to get it out there#it also became way longer than i meant it to be... i had a lot to say! sue me!#there's so much to discuss and to uncover with this episode#the entire series really#but here's one last thing: i think both of them are fucked up and very much using each other#not that they don't like each other! there's real interest and attraction there but it's just not as strong as they're playing it up to be#kant is far worse ofc considering the drugging and the lying and the blatant ignoring of his own boundaries and the DRUGGING#but – hot take! – bison is also clearly using kant as this stand-in for his ideal life#i don't think really he has feelings for kant as much as he just enjoys the amount of affection he's being showered with bc it's new to him#but yes . they're both just placeholders for one another's real goals i guess?
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to me there's a kind of bonus meta horror in the bristlefrost's death 'only love' scene where like. ok discussion of misogyny in the series has shifted a bit since then but you know how a few years ago people's main gripe used to be that after completing their arcs female characters would lose their personality and fade into the background to fulfill the generic role of 'mother'? and you also know how bristlefrost's personality and focus began to shift and diminish halfway through the arc where out of nowhere she suddenly reciprocated rootspring's feelings and was rushed into a poorly written romance arc? yeah well there's something really chilling (though not in a way that is in any way tonally intentional. in fact kind of the direct opposite of what the erins were going for and i think i would feel differently about it if her relationship with rootspring was not so uncompelling and short lived until this point) about how in her final moments before her existence ceases and she is denied her afterlife the visions she sees are of romance and love and rootspring and babies. just a total loss of individuality into generic warrior cats love interest and mother. to not be feeling for yourself at the end of it all but what you bring to another character. to just kind of embody the status quo of your series and fade away.
#i might just be a lesbian who doesnt really want kids but the idea your dying memory being boring het romance is TERRIFYING to me#i could see it as romantic if they were a longer term or more well written couple and her reciprocation felt less. narratively obligated#just as how leafcrow is doomed miserable idealism to me so too is bristleroot scary
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