#needed antibiotics and everything
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Before and after pictures of my biohazard bathroom. So y'all can see this particular Horror I've been dealing with lately.
#life of sponty#mold#mould#unsanitary#unhygienic#but yeah it's been hell#only thing left to do now is replace the moldy broken sealant on the bath and sink#which for the record has such nasty gunk in it that I've not been able to take baths in months#because the last two times i tried i got bacterial infections#needed antibiotics and everything#and given i adore baths and they're one of my major self care / mood improvement things#has not helped anything#also i have had a chronic cough from the mold for months now#just really not ideal#but i had a burst of actual executive function that allowed me to finally wrestle the landlords about it#so that's what ive been dealing with last couple weeks
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vent moment but my health is a bit worse than i let on, which is weird ik since it seems like complain about it all the time here, and apparently i also look sick, because two separate people in their 40s or 50s asked me, 24, if i needed their seat on the bus. kind of them. but humiliating nonetheless.
#medical stuff cw#i sat on the steps instead of taking their seat#vent cw#i have to take five different pills a day excluding birth control which i also take for health reasons but okay#i have to thank italy for its healthcare system because at least i dont have to pay a fuckton for all that stuff. except birthcontrol.#as i may have mentioned they found quite a bit of blood in my piss so im getting tested for ✨️cancer✨️#also because i've been having health issues which might be rated#my blood work is all off but i didnt get tested for tumoral cells specifically because i may have 'just' an autoimmune condition#so im on heavy duty antibiotics too now bc i also developed antibiotic resistance last year. anyway.#i need to take those and then they'll test my peepee again but this time they will also test explicitly for tumoral cells#because something is off and my previous blood work didnt point out what exactly#terrible anemia and other slightly-off numbers that however shouldnt be off considering my lifestyle#i eat almost everything. drink plenty of water. exercise. barely smoke. not even drinking anymore. i'm not too fat nor too skinny.#so. some of the numbers that are off dont really have a reason to be off which is why they are testing my blood and piss for cancer#but like. in 3 weeks because i have to take antibiotics and iron meds (not supplements. meds.) first#so my mind's trying to convince itself that i dont have a tumor. but what if i do? i know i dont. but not knowing makes me go insane#also i have to get tested for heart disease because that motherfucker is not working properly. doesnt pump enough blood to my brain.#i took an ekg and it came back pretty normal except for tachycardia#now i have to go get an holter ekg - but was told to wait until uni starts again bc i need that exam to be done when i have a daily routine#so basically they slap electrodes and shit on me for 24 hrs while i go do my shit around the city and then see how my heart behaved#because i cant stand without struggling to breathe and sometimes it happens when in laying down to.#sometimes i cant fall asleep because i cant breathe#at first the doc thought it might be a reflux issue but not. all good on that front.#so. we'll see. and i mean. i KNOW it's not cancer. like. i'd be dead by now bc i've been having these symptoms for five months#however. i dont know if it's not an autoimmune disease. and if it is? what am i gonna do?
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Me, the other night: "I may be going through a fuck of a life situation, but it could always be worse if I broke a flower pot in the shower again."
Me, today, waking up with a swollen and painful mouth infection:
#im in too much pain to find a better react#im so fucking tired#when will life stop throwing me multiple curveballs?? i dont even know how to juggle!!#im just getting hit in the face with each curveball. and it feels like it today too holy shit#im in the middle of teeth alignments for treating my tmj pain idk how im gonna go thru another root canal#my first root canal was only preceeded by hot/cold sensitivity. it never got swollen or hot#im so exhausted man. at least the regular dentist can see me today and hopefully give me antibiotics#im on immunosuppressants so i was crying this morning like damn im gonna have to go to the er for this i wont survive the weekend#im so upset tho it took me forever to fill my last prescription. so dont jinx it but i might still need to keep that er plan on hold#the good thing ab that tho is my back mri is tomorrow which is at the local er so i can do the mri and walk right over if needed#i just dont understand how this could happen i brush and floss after everything i eat or drink (so at least 3 times a day. thoroughly.)#bad genetics and stress strikes again i guess#vent#Cori.exe#Post.exe#god and i spent the last 2 days stress picking my face too so i look ROUGH right now#everything sucks lol#its right over where my wisdom tooth would have been too so like. way back there. im gonna be drinking soup for weeks#rip coris jaw. never had a chance
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Friendly reminder to anyone who has depression, mania, or mood swings, Prednisone (the most commonly prescribed steroids) will make it worse
#spent last night in an absolute fit trying to figure out if i needed to go to the ER#only to sit down and write out everything that was different from last sunday night to see what could have made things swing so violently#that id need to go to the one place i hate most#and the list literally was just 'lamictal adjustment. pneumonia.Prednisone. antibiotics.'#like yes life is over whelming and exhausting but if youre on certain medications its going to feel worse
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spent the last 9ish hours deep cleaning my room and i feel like an actual person for the first time since. probably early january.
#finished my antibiotics finally. had a good old migraine vomit last night (which weirdly always makes me feel less poisoned)#everything is clean and laundered and dust-free and i've had my windows open all day to let the fresh air in#all i need to do now is have a shower (i usually shower every other day but i've been so depressed that i haven't showered since monday)#and paint my nails and I'll feel fully human again#going to hopefully do it while watching dante's inferno by ken russell
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Relationship: The Bell Keeper & Meiri (OC) Category: Gen Word count: 2.9k Chapters: 1/? Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Found Family
🌲Read it on AO3♾️
Preview:
A thing about Ed, one that Meiri could have never foreseen wouldn’t get on her nerves until she wanted to bite another hole into his decrepit overcoat, was that every time she thought she had him completely figured out, he’d go and surprise her.
Which was exactly what happened shortly after they arrived at the cabin the very afternoon he had signed the papers declaring that he, of fully informed and free will, was taking Meiri to be his problem for the rest of his life.
(That, by itself, should have already hinted to her that the guy was very strange, if she were being honest.)
Meiri had been setting the dishes on the table, organising them the best she could. It was hard to do much when the material she had to work with were two plain white plates – one of them with a barely noticeable chip, which she placed before her usual chair – and mismatched cutlery, but at least she was trying. Maybe too much, in fact, considering her vision was beginning to play tricks on her with how obsessive she got about placing the fork and knife perfectly parallel.
Luckily, Edmund leaving the small bathroom after his shower saved her from escalating to frustration, then anger, then most likely throwing the cutlery across the cabin to hang from the opposite wall.
That would not be a very good show to put on on her first official day at the cabin.
The steam that accompanied the man’s entrance smelled of cardamom from his soap and sandalwood from his deodorant (she had read every single label in the cabin one day when she was bored), and it was strangely soothing. Meiri sat back on Ed’s chair, huffing, when the fork’s placement still looked off to her
Maybe it was a secret cutlery rebellion. Or they just hated her in particular.
She felt a hand on her head, and scrunched her nose when Edmund ruffled her hair, feigning an undignified “hey!” before he walked by her to sit on the opposite chair.
This was wrong. They were in the wrong places. She’d even put out the cutlery they were each used to using already. She was about to point this out when he said it.
“Want to go out for dinner tonight?”
Meiri blinked.
“Dinner?”
“Yes. It’s the meal we have in the evenings.”
She glared, but it seemed to amuse him so whatever effect she used to get out of that was apparently ruined.
Continue reading
#meiridom#my fic#meiri#the bell keeper hilda#hilda oc#me: hmmm... I need to memorize every antibiotic known to men till tuesday... what shall I do about it...#my brain: you could write another meiri fic#me: you're a genius#no actually I've planned to post this today for a long time sjdfksd It's father's day where I live and I wanted to mark the date#I'm gonna be so honest though. this one is not very interesting ksdhksdfh#only if you really care about Meiri and Ed as characters in the Meiridom#if you do read please forgive the quality. it was super rushed and not beta'd#and also please remember to imagine Ed's accent. I think it turns everything better always
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omggggg my tummy hurtsssss. i wanna cry a little bit
#marzi speaks#everything smells so bad too#what i need to do is sleep. but everything feels too uncomfortable#fuck you antibiotics i hate you i hate you i hate you#everything feels. bad
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feeling stressed because my cat scratched up my neighbors arm and she is nervous he will give her an infection (even though I assured he he is up to date on all his shots) and this was AFTER I asked her to help me bring him inside
#of course if she has to go to the doctor and get antibiotics I will pay for everything and I offered my first aid kit#UGH I’m so anxious right now and she is already stressed about her sick chickens#I just need to remember she has a right to be upset and I just have to respect that#and give her space and hope her scratch marks don’t get infected#all of you folks who yell at us for letting our cats outside will today your point was proven#personal
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#apple babble 🍎#non fandom#i need life to give me a fucking break fr like?????#almost immediately after i finally crawled out of a major depressive episode#infected fucking dog bite from some asshole’s unleashed dog#major tooth abscess that literally has my entire left side of my face and head and neck throbbing with pain#can’t afford to get the damn thing pulled until a few more days#so my body is fighting 2 major infections rn and my heart rate is at a constant 100-115#can’t think straight can’t focus on anything#couldn’t walk priya today bc of how shitty i feel#had an EXTREMELY stressful anxiety ridden day with my client today which didn’t help anything#my work days have been so fucking long that i don’t have time to take care of my medical stuff before everything closes#i had to race to get my antibiotics WHILE i was working bc i knew i wouldn’t get there in time after work#bc my fucking client kept adding shit for me to do last minute#then was like ‘oh btw you only have an hour to make these 10 fucking stops bc my appt is soon’#give me a fucking break liKE COME THE FUCK ON#IM SO MAD AND ANNOYED#i didn’t even walk the dogs this morning#i just too them to a secluded place off the trail and fucking cried for an hour#i really hate things rn like i really hate how difficult and fucking expensive it is to stay alive#i fucking HATE IT#delete later#i guess idfk whatever
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#vent post incoming feel free to ignore lol#i know it's stupid to be stressed abt having to swap all my makeup out#but with my self esteem on the floor i really cannot leave the house without it 😭#and i'm so scared of using any of my old stuff bc i have had so many stye flare ups this year#almost done with the antibiotic ointment my doctor prescribed#my next therapy session is on sept 6th and atm i don't have the funds i need to replace stuff so i'm stressed#getting emotionally attached to someone who did not give a shit back rly fucked me up this summer i h8 everything abt that situation :(#this year hasn't been a bad one i'm just so overwhelmed rn over small things & things out of my control#i think my therapy sessions have already helped build some resilience in me tho & i'm so grateful for that#here's to hoping the rest of the year brings more healing#trying to think of rn as a transitional stage i hope better things are ahead!!!
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Me: I'm gonna do so much after I shower!
Me one shower later: (gets sad, falls asleep on couch, wakes up three hours later like WHAT)
#dani speaks#i wanted to do the dishes and tidy the kitchen for fluffs to come down to a clean counter tomorrow#but i didnt :( i just. PASSED OUT staring at the disney plus what to watch screen#didn't even get to put the comfort movie on like i had PLANNED to do post shower#I JUST HAVE NO ENERGY EVER AT ALL!! I AM TIRED OF EMOTIONALLY SUPPORTING EVERYONE#I'M GONNA EXPLODE THINGS WITH MY BRAIN#gotta train myself to do that first BUT ONCE I DO. BOOM. THIBGS WILL ESPLODE#dani VENTS#sorry for the splosion tag readers. im just tired. i need a vacay#between loosing fitzy and cinnabud not feeling gr8 and EVERYTHING ELSE THIS YEAR#i am at a limit#i have SURPASSED my limit#cinnabudds fine btw! he was a lil ooc but vet has cleared him of anything BAD#we have some antibiotics to help with an upper respiratory infection#which may be why he's been so down and low energy#he's perked up since coming home from the vet! and we haven't even gotten the antibiotics started yet lol#anyway imma go sleep PROPERLY now that my teeths are clean and nightguard is guarding
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What would you think, if, after getting advice from Iroh, Zuko and the gang travel to the spirit world in order to find Aang’s people so that Aang can teach the air acolytes more about the air nomads? But Zuko gets attacked by a poisonous spirit and reverts back to pre Season 2 Zuko after losing some of his memories due to the poison fogging his mind. Zuko is confused and doesn’t know why he’s firelord. The gang try to explain things to him, but it only causes him to become even more confused. Aang and the gang then leave Zuko behind to spend more time with the air acolytes. While they’re gone, Zuko is very uncertain about what to do, but soon corrupt advisors convince him to restart the war. Zuko doesn’t remember his friendship with Aang, but he hears that he once joined Aang, so Zuko assumes that Aang once brainwashed him into joining team Avatar and turning against his Father. Zuko intends to be a much greater firelord than his father, and he and his army raid the air acolyte settlement in their airships in order to hunt down Aang once again, and end up burning down the settlement. Aang and the gang wonder why Zuko chose to hunt them down again. Aang eventually comes to the conclusion that Zuko backslid due to bad advice from his advisors and because he lost some of his memories. Aang then travels the nations looking for a cure to help restore Zuko’s memories.
Azula escapes from the mental institute and Zuko sends bounty hunters after her to capture her. Soon, Azula gets bitten by a snake, so she finds help in the village of Jang Hui where she is healed by two waterbenders, who are taking refuge there. Jang Hui is the village Katara helped in The Painted Lady. And the villagers aren’t on good terms with the firelord. The villagers accept her and assume that she’s on their side because she’s made an enemy of the Firelord. The villagers teach Azula how to heal people using firebending techniques inspired by water bending, and she ends up becoming a fisherwoman because it’s a fishing town. She starts to warm up to the town, but one day she overhears the waterbenders talking about sneaking out to sabotage the smelting factory(which is currently undergoing reconstruction) in order to help the villagers. Azula offers to join their mission, and the three sneak out to destroy the factory, but she betrays the waterbenders over to the fire nation in hopes that she might bring glory to the fire nation. But now that the waterbenders are captured and eliminated, the town is defenseless. Zuko’s army burns the town down leaving few survivors. Zuko didn’t exactly authorize the attack, but he did give his generals permission to do whatever it takes to stop the villagers from trying to halt the rebuilding of the factory used for the war effort. A few survive and declare revenge on Azula for what she did.
Azula starts to feel terrible about betraying the people who saved her life and indirectly causing the village to be destroyed, since she didn’t know it would be destroyed. And she holds Zuko partially responsible for destroying the village. After wandering around, Azula looks through a telescope and sees Aang try to save a fire nation village from a volcano, and she also sees Zuko. Zuko does nothing after his corrupt advisors tell him to leave the village, saying that Aang will probably die, so Zuko runs away. But Aang manages to save the village from the erupting volcano. Azula gets accepted into the gang when she uses her new healing abilities to heal Aang, who is wounded by the volcano. They reluctantly team up to stop Zuko.
After wandering around the Earth Kingdom to look for a cure for Zuko's memory loss, the gang sees a massive stream of fire pour down from a few fire nation airships hovering above a village. The stream of fire burns the village to the ground, leaving few survivors. It turns out that fire nation scientists developed a highly addictive serum that can increase the fire power of any fire Bender. The downside is that prolonged use of the serum results in loss of the senses, and eventually death. Senses such as taste, smell, sight, touch, and hearing. Zuko intends take the serum and lead a fleet of airships to finish what his Dad started by burning the Earth Kingdom to the ground. After learning what Zuko intends to do, even Aang feels tempted to give up on him.
it's an interesting concept, but i have a few critiques.
first, if the gaang knows zuko lost his memory, why would they leave him in the first place? and even if they did that, surely there'd be somebody in the palace who could say "hey firelord zuko maybe don't restart the war dude wtf" or at least alert the gaang or something.
second, i've seen a lot of people try to have azula's redemption involve learning some kind of healing, and i gotta say, it very very rarely does anything for me. for starters, it (probably unintentionally) reinforces the northern water tribe's ideology that healing is inherently for women (the show admittedly also did this bc the only named male waterbender who uses any kind of healing in any canon that i'm aware of is unalaq). moreover, it's not something i think azula would be particularly good at or have much interest in.
also, why are there waterbenders in jang hui? it's a fire nation village. you said they were taking refuge, but from what, and why there? on top of that, azula knows zuko is firelord and doesn't know he's lost his memories, so why would she assume betraying the waterbenders to the fire nation would bring it glory? if she just broke out of the asylum, then the last time she saw zuko was when he and katara fought her during the agni kai.
third, if zuko lost his memory to a "poisonous" (???) spirit in the spirit world, why are they searching the earth kingdom for a cure? shouldn't they be looking in the spirit world? aang's the avatar, and iroh's gotten in before, so it shouldn't be the hardest thing in the world.
fourth, if zuko lost all his memories of books 2 and 3, he shouldn't know about ozai's plan to burn everything to the ground, since that wasn't established until after he returned to the fire nation with azula, mai, and ty lee.
finally, even before book 1 began, zuko was deeply loyal to his people, balking at the mere idea of sacrificing newbie soldiers for the sake of a win, so i can't fathom a world where zuko is ok with burning down jang hui (a fire nation village) just cuz.
i'm not trying to say there's no potential here, you have some very interesting ideas, but there's a lot that doesn't really work for me.
(to be fair tho i'm not a huge fan of anything involving much of the air acolytes bc i frankly could not give less of a fuck about them. i don't hate them or anything they just don't mean anything to me)
#atla#it's an interesting concept#but honestly as described here it's more confusing than anything else#also the whole premise relies on the idea that zuko blindly listens to what people tell him to do#which is something he's never once managed ever in his life#also the whole ''let's burn everything to the ground'' was something zuko wasn't remotely ok with#bc unlike azula he hasn't been raised to believe that the right thing to say is whatever makes dad proud of you#he HAS been raised to believe that paternal love has to be earned through blood sweat and tears#but if he knew ozai was in prison then obviously the best way to get his favor would be to let him out and reinstate him as firelord#which would be. very confusing to ozai#imagine just sitting in prison and then your son storms in and tells you he's freed himself of brainwashing and you can be in charge again#then imagine having to explain that the avatar can take away bending now but you'd be happy to help him rule from the shadows#since clearly your daughter wasn't of any use#...actually i think you have the start of a really good toxic father-son bonding experience that absolutely nobody wanted#having said that my biggest piece of advice is to cut the serum idea entirely#it makes no sense in the established atla world#they haven't even got antibiotics over there yet#it'll be awhile before they're inventing super soldier serums to create captain fire nation or whatever#also i'm curious what advice iroh gave that prompted all of this#aang doesn't need to go into the spirit world he has all the previous air avatars on psychic speed dial#oh and why would jang hui hate zuko?#katara definitely would've pushed him to send them help#also they apparently became famous for their seafood after the war#so zuko would probably be pretty well liked by them#again it isn't a bad idea it just needs a lot of workshopping#bc right now it raises way more questions than it seems intent on answering
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I fucking hate being long-term temporarily disabled in such a way that you *know* what the treatment is, you are hypothetically able to access the treatment, but you just aren't well enough to have the fucking treatment done.
#vent#hopeful rambling#it's so stupid too#like dang if i had broken my leg or something at least it would feel justified#but no it's a *chronic fucking ingrown toenail and infection*#and to get the roots of the nail cauterized the site needs to be clean but i keep getting proud flesh blobs before we can go through with it#and i need way too much local anaesthetic and i used to be safe for like 3 months but i JUST GOT THEM REMOVED LAST WEEK#and i already have foot/leg issues from being flat footed and walking on my toes as a kid but this has been going on for more than a year#and im worried that the way i have to walk to keep pressure off the toe is making it worse#and im just so so fucking tired of not being able to just walk and do stuff reliably#and even when it doesn't actively hurt i have to be so so conscious because just a little bit of wrong pressure or too much or#i hit something or i leave the bandaids on too long or too little or something#and suddenly it's way way worse#and i've been doing everything right#every time i get prescribed antibiotics i take all of them religiously. i soak my foot i change the bandages i stay off it as much as i can#and it's just never enough. i'm so so tired of hurting for such a stupid reason
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i am in shambles .
— ☆ 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐄𝐓𝐋𝐘
𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: when you fall ill, alhaitham takes care of you for the first time and you enjoy the gentle way he shows his love when he thinks you aren’t watching
𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: alhaitham x gn!reader. sfw. fluff. sick reader (nothing serious). established relationship. i get a bit yappy about him, sorry! 1k wc. masterlist | byf/dni
this piece is a submission for a flufftober event by spookuna ♡
reblogs and interactions are always appreciated ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
You lay on your side, feeling the warmth of Sumeru’s balmy sun kissing your skin as it cascaded through the windows. The faint ticking of a clock on the wall filled the quiet room while soft footsteps moved around you.
Alhaitham.
You could have sworn he told you he was going to leave once he readied your breakfast so you were surprised he was still here. He was careful as his feet shuffled on the floor, avoiding waking you, but his attempts at silence only made him more pronounced.
The clink of a glass on your nightstand, the rustles of fabric that eventually dissolved to murmurs— these were the sounds you had become hyper-aware of in your pretend slumber.
Truth is, you’d been awake for the last half hour but your eyes remained closed out of curiosity about what he would be up to when he thought you weren’t looking.
Your body felt heavy, and not just from the illness that plagued you, but from the weight of blankets he had tucked you in earlier. His attention was soothing, yet as he hovered around you, you sensed a bit of uncertainty in his movements that you found quite endearing.
Alhaitham was not one for overt displays of affection but this unspoken care was so entirely him.
The bed dipped as he sat down and you heard a sigh escape him. It was foreign in its gentleness and spilled out of him like there was much on his mind.
Was he… watching you?
You were tempted to open your eyes and catch him in the act, but something told you to wait. For a moment, nothing happened until the sheets beneath you shifted.
Then, you felt it— a barely-there touch to your forehead. His fingers felt familiar and comforting while he checked your temperature, the pad of his thumb tracing light circles that made your heart ache in the sweetest way. How did it feel, you wondered, to be so utterly indifferent to the world and then to finally let his guard down around you?
It wasn’t long before you found your answer.
“You should take better care of yourself,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. There was a hint of frustration in his tone but underneath it was also something softer, more protective. “It’s unsettling seeing you this way.”
You pictured what his expression would be— furrowed brows and narrowing eyes while he tries to make sense of the emotions he’s not used to always showing. But if he knew you were awake, you’d tell him that he didn’t need to hide.
The gentle touch on your forehead moved to your cheeks, then traced the outline of your jaw, deliberately highlighting all the little features he had grown to love over the many months.
“It’s quieter without you,” he said, cheeks burning with embarrassment. Alhaitham knew it was a bit absurd to be talking to himself but without your voice there was nothing to fill the silence. There was a faint chuckle in his words— he was beginning to understand what you meant when you told him ‘everyone is foolish when they are in love’.
You heard him shift again, and then you felt something against your lips— a light, fleeting kiss so delicate you almost thought you imagined it. But the ghost of his touch lingerered and it took almost everything in you to not break the illusion of sleep.
He held you as if you were something precious and fragile to him but, to your dismay, he pulled away just as quickly as he had leaned in, and his immediate absence left you internally pouting.
The bed suddenly felt lighter and soon the realisation of him retreating toward the door started creeping in. But just before he stepped out, he paused.
Unbeknownst to you, he cast a sideways glance in your direction, wondering how much longer he would have to wait before you stirred. Or how much longer he had to keep talking to himself despite your telltale flinches while he caressed you.
You weren’t as sneaky as you thought so, yes, he noticed.
“It would be a shame if you remained asleep so might I tempt to wake you up and spend time with me in another way?” He called from where he was standing.
Even in your poorly state, you broke into a smile and finally let your eyes flutter open. Without hesitation and with a little triumph in his stride, Alhaitham returned to your bed, resting his hand on the blanket cocoon he had left you in.
Before he met you, Alhaitham believed that his simple life was full and complete. Then you came along and made him realise what he had been missing all that time. You have done a lot for him but more than that, you’ve undone a lot for him, like allowing him to let go of his rigid control and embrace vulnerability.
The man who once had given you no more than a small and polite ‘Hello’ when you were acquaintances was now tending to you with such warmth that you didn’t need to hear words to feel the depths of his care— it radiated from every quiet gesture.
Sometimes you forget that people don’t see Alhaitham the same way you do. He is stubborn, unpredictable and speaks abstrusely but to you, he is a source of unwavering support. Always in the background with a stoic but reliable presence— like a testament for the patience you’ve nurtured him with.
However, at the end of the day, you cannot describe what is indescribable and you cannot explain what there is to love about him unless you love him yourself.
“You know,” you began as your fingers slipped into his hair, “You shouldn’t have kissed me. You’ll only end up getting sick.”
“I’ll survive,” he replied with a slight shrug, dipping his head towards your lips again, “It’s a small price I’ll pay.”
And in that moment you understood that this was his way of saying he loved and missed you. Not in grand declarations but in the way he stayed, the way he cared, and the way he was always there, silently holding your world together.
a/n: i kept getting distracted while writing this because i love him so much he makes me sick.
© 2024 grimmweepers — do not repost, copy, translate, modify my work on any platform.
affiliations: @houseofsolisoccasum & @nereidsrealm
divider by @/attxnt
#) that is so . hgiugnfj u describe that quiet care so well its so warm and fuzzy#unspoken care is so beautiful and i adore your take on alhaitham !!!! i love seeing this side of him#he cares and he loves and he may not always say it outright but you never need it because he always makes sure it gets across otherwise#thats a beautiful way of loving someone i am in SHAMBLES#the way he's so gentle while touching reader im going to cry – the forehead touch#the thumb tracing and everything . being sick + still him wanting to touch and hold us close#i would cry in all honesty that is so sweet ehughuehgue#' how did it feel ノ you wondered ノ to be so utterly indifferent to the world and then to finally let his guard down around you? '#WHO GAVE U THE RIGHTS TO MAKE ME LITERALLY SOB I AM A SUCKER !!!!! FOR THIS#the way u write is so beautiful ryu :( i can feel every word in my bones#i love how his softer and protective side comes out too :#MAMA I WANT TO KISS THIS MAN ! ! ! !!!!! ! ! !! !#ryu i adore this fic through and through eeeeks#the way he stays :) only when it comes to reader hehehhee starts kissing my laptop screen#the gentlest touch from him oh my God .#perhaps that would heal me ...... 1 touch = the power of 20000 antibiotics#AND THE NEXT PART ?? HEEEELLO ?????#when he leaves and his absence is so apparent but perhaps he would be just the tiniest bit selfish and want to spend time with reader oh Go#i love how he cares when he cares . i think theres something so special about receiving care from someone who doesn't hand it out easily#to be the ' chosen ' recipient of affection and love – reader holds such a special place in his heart and he's keeping it warm and safe :<#' i'll survive ノ its a small price i'll pay ' OKAY .#that was the most perfect ending to this sweet piece thank u for sharing ryu this was incredibleeee !!!! :")#love love love love love . i love love
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silently repeating “i’m strong i can do this” to myself all day because my face is being a fucking bitch again and there’s only so much an hour long crying session, pizza, white chocolate and a 2h call with my mom can do to help
#seeing a dermatologist on tuesday because really what the fuck#topical antibiotic doesn’t work#topical steroid doesn’t work#everything hurts#you know it’s bad when white chocolate enters the chat#i’m 🤏🏻 this close to covering all the mirrors in my apartment#honestly thank fuck i worked on my mental health at some point because without that it would be a hundred times worse now#screaming crying throwing up (negative)#i need to get myself some trinket to cheer myself up#there’s a vintage market on sunday maybe i’ll go#mine#ugh#acne#the hormonal bitch most likely#and other fun skin issues
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I'm so done with everything
#tw sh + sui in tags#idek how to explain it atp I'm just. done#I need to relapse so bad it's not even funny but I'm trying to not do it while previous sessions r still healing and the ones from the-#-weekend are very much not healed yet. like I rlly should still have the butterfly bandages on it but oh well#but fuck dude I'm like so fucking sick of everything#psychiatrist wants me to do another course of antibiotics and I'm looking more into it and it's not rlly a recommended treatment.#and it sent me down a rabbit hole of like. am I even actually sick is this disease even real what's going on#if it's Not real then what do I have. if it Is real why is this a bad thing to do. I just don't understand.#and I just can't take it anymore. nothing is wrong everything is wrong I should just kill myself and get it over with.#like really that is just the easiest option. and atp I need Somethign to be easy. everything is too fucking hard.#I just want one thing in my life to be simple and easy and ending it is both of those things.#I don't Really want to but fuck the idea is appealing#armchair speaks
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