#just realized i have to make tags for all these fuckers. head in my fucking hands

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[minarcana]

[debtsunpaid]

write manny. BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK profit.

[that-fic-girl]

HAZBIN HOTEL X READER HC #1

Head canon: what it would be like to date them.

characters: Alastor, angel dust, husk, vox

disclaimer: everything i write about these characters might not be accurate to the actual story, please take everything in the fic with a grain of salt, none of this is canon!!

Alastor

he hasnt been in an actual relationship in a while so being close and vulnerable with someone is quite hard for him, especially as someone who associates emotions with weakness.

First off, its safe to say he adores the ground you walk on. He's in love with everything about you, your clothes, the smell of your hair, your sickly sweet voice. his loves it all.

If there was ever a problem you needed fixing, a person you needed taken care of or even a errand you needed to run he would tend to it himself. he would not let you lift a finger.

PDA is a iffy thing for him, he wouldnt do grand big gestures but maybe a hand on the hip or a few words of affirmation.

everyone in the pride ring quickly learned of yours and radio demon's relationship. And no one dared to mess with you, ofcourse there was people who wanted to test their luck but they would have to pay the price later.

his love language is definitely words of affirmation, he will sweet talk the shit out of you. At night when it's just you two in bed, he will have his hands stroking through your hair whilst you rant to him about your day and he'll reply with sweet nothings

"oh darling, i've missed you all evening"

"you looked ravishing today my dear.."

"mm your hair smells amazing, my love"

Angel Dust

Angel is one of, if not, the horniest mother fuckers out there but somehow, he manages to somewhat make a healthy relationship with someone.

you two are seen as "the bad bitch" couple. you're always out together, always getting into dumb shit together. You'll get yelled at by vaggie at early hours in the morning because the two of you where playing a childish game of tag in the hotel halls.

his love language is definitely physical touch, he'll have his arms slung around your waist almost all the time. Kisses are a MUST every 5 minutes, like this boy will NOT part from you. especially in the mornings when you have to leave for work;

"mmnnnnoooooooo...stayyy for five minutes pleasseeeee"

"but sweets..you're soooo warm"

"sweetheart please, you feel so comfy"

yeah good luck with that.

nights with him are VERY eventful, if it wasn't obvious. You two would usually be at it late hours into the night but sometimes, when you two where too exhausted to fuck like rabbits, he would be sprawled across your lap whilst you stroked his fur.

Husk

Despite his harsh tone and uncompromising demeanor, you understood that Husk wasn't trying to be malicious towards you. It was simply his way of communicating, and you knew that his behavior wasn't personal. Even though he could be abrasive at times, you loved him for his rough edges and authentic personality

You and Husk's time together was mostly spent at the bar. You didn't like to drink much, but you loved seeing him work and make cocktails like a pro. You didn't mind that it wasn't considered a typical date, because you liked spending time with him in whatever way he felt most comfortable.

Husk is not used to receiving compliments, as he didn't often receive them in his past life. When you complimented him, it caught him off guard and he was surprised. But he eventually learned to appreciate it, and it even made him feel a little sentimental.

Despite the difficulty, you were able to help Husk realize that you genuinely cared about him. He had been used to being surrounded by dishonesty and hypocrisy, but you were always sincere and real. He held you in high regard, as you were the only source of light in his life, and he didn't want to lose you.

vox

You were known as a strong and independent person who didn't need assistance from others. You knew how to stand up for yourself, despite being harsh and tough at times. Despite your exterior, no one was aware of the soft spot in your heart that Vox's affection and touch alone could melt away your severity.

He appreciated seeing your affectionate side, as it felt special and intimate, like a shared secret between the two of you. He knew you valued your privacy, and he respected it by never sharing photos or other details on social media. He didn't want to betray your trust.

You were often feared and respected when you were with Vox. People found it hard to believe that someone as intimidating as yourself could have a tender, caring side that was kept hidden from most. Vox was glad that he was the only one who got to see that side of you. He didn't want to share something so special and personal with anyone else.

Quite often, he would call you on the phone, knowing that sweet words could be just as effective as a kiss. He enjoyed hearing how your voice softened from its usual seriousness to a more affectionate tone. He was aware that when he said loving phrases to you, you would blush and smile shyly, and sometimes he even regretted not being able to witness it in person.

"i've missed you today babe.."

"mhm look at my pretty girl/boy!"

[huskersbooze]

Who's in Control?

Alastor x Reader

| Part 1(here!) | Part 2 | Part 3 |

Summary : You sold your soul to Alastor and had no idea how big of a deal this was. Until recently, you finally learn what it means, and realize all that Alastor had been doing was just a lie.. or was it?

Pairing : Alastor x F!Reader, Huskerdust? (M!Reader here, Gn!Reader here)

Warnings : swear words

Additional Tags : Angst, miscommunication, misunderstandings, Alastor actually being nice?!, no use of (Y/n)

Ib : Who's in Control By Set It Off

Word count : 1.8k

"Good morning, dear."

"Morning, Al." You reach the lobby and take a seat on the floor next to Alastor's chair.

"How was your sleep, darling?"

"It was good! And yours?"

"Aha, hilarious, really. You know I don't sleep, my dear." He places a hand on your head and gives your hair a ruffle. "You really do know how to brighten my day."

The rest of the team reaches the lobby, and you all gather around for your daily dose of trust exercises.

-----

You and Alastor had been growing closer and closer ever since your arrival at the hotel. There was no doubt that he was your favourite person there.

And, well, for Alastor, he never wanted to admit it, but everyone in the hotel could tell, and even he was aware.

He was growing a soft-spot for you.

It was never supposed to be this way. He was never meant to grow attached. It just somehow happened, and that was that.

Everything between you two was going great. Except for that one little issue that bothered Alastor.. but you didn’t have to know. He never tried to abuse any of that power when he asked for your soul. He never thought of doing anything to you.

But there comes a time in every relationship where a lie can ruin it all.

“Hey, sugar. How ya’ doin’?” Angel Dust leans by the bar counter, greeting you as usual.

“I'm doing decent. Husk and I were just talking about you.”

“We were fuckin’ not!” You watch as the cat's ears twitch, the drink he was originally pouring tipping over.

“Oh, really? No need ta’ lie Husky~” You laugh at Angel's teasing, which makes Husk let out a low growl. “At least I don't gawk over a certain demon so obviously.”

“Hey! Are you talking about me and Al?”

“Who else would he be talkin’ about?” Angel tilts his head to the side, giving you a knowing glare. “Ya’ can't even deny it.”

“Al and I are just friends.”

“Kid, Angel's right.” The cat can only do so much but sigh. “You don't know him as well as I do. He treats you differently.”

“Still, we're just friends-”

“The Radio Demon doesn't do ‘friends’, kid.”

“Yeah, well, he owns my soul. Of course he'd treat me differently.”

The way it so simply came out of your mouth like it wasn't some big deal. Both Husker and Angel Dust froze in place, staring at you wide-eyed.

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

“What.. what did you just say?” The spider can hardly comprehend the news you'd just dropped.

“He owns my soul..?”

“Kid. What the actual fuck?!”

“What the fuck did he do to you?! Ya’ alright?! Are you hurt?”

You watch as the two demons skim your body up and down, firing questions at you, checking up to make sure you weren't hurt.

But you were confused.

“What's going on? Why are you guys suddenly acting so strange?”

“Wh- Why did you sell ya’ soul to him?!”

“Fuck I knew he was up to no good!”

“He told me by selling my soul to him he'd protect me from everything and anything at all cost. I didn't see a reason to decline?” You reply to Angel's question, ignoring Husk as he mutters about himself being correct. “I got nothing to lose.”

“Ya’ got everything to lose, shitass.” You hear his voice start to crack slightly as you realise tears welling up in his eyes.

“Angel?! Hey, what's wrong?”

“Damn, kid. You really don't know shit, huh?”

“About..?”

“What it means to sell your soul.”

“I know what it means, Al said-”

“Forget that fucker.” Husk practically spits out his name. “D'you know why I work here at the bar?”

“Because you like your job..?”

“No. It’s because I was forced by the person I sold my soul to.”

“Who..?”

“Hell, kid.. you really can't take a hint?”

And just like that, he says one more name, and your whole world comes tumbling down on you.

He didn't actually care for you, he was just shaping you in case you came to use.

He didn't actually enjoy your company, he was just watching you to make sure you were obedient.

He didn't actually mean any of the things he said. He was just trying to manipulate you.

And you were so damn lost. So damn lost as to whether the control and power you thought you had, really belonged to you.

“Valentino is an overlord.. and he's your boss?”

“Yup.” Angel nods.

“And he owns your soul like Al owns Husk’s?”

“Exactly.” Husk replies.

“And there's no escaping this contract..?”

“No.” The two reply together.

“Fuck.”

-----

“Greetings, my dear! How are you on this fine morning?” The static sounds from Alastor's usual seat at the lobby where you all gather every morning.

There's that usual smile etched on his face, which, you used to believe looked genuine when he was talking to you, but it seemed that wasn't the case.

“Hey, Husk. Hey, Angel.” You greet the two on the couch, completely passing by Alastor and ignoring his whole existence. “Mind if I sit?”

“Yeah, go ahead.” Angel scoots over and makes space for you to squeeze between Husk and himself. “Ya’ look like hell.”

“You alright, kid?”

“Couldn't sleep much last night, but I'm fine.” You reassure them.

The rest of the crew were a bit startled at your display, knowing well that you refused to not sit by Alastor's chair, normally.

And here you were, ignoring him completely like he was no longer relevant, and hanging with the other two demons.

“Okay.. what an interesting way to start the morning!” Charlie tries to break the ice.

Everyone turns their attention towards her.

Everyone but Alastor.

He was practically fuming with rage, anger, irritation, but yet, a tiny bit of worry.

How dare you ignore the Radio Demon like he was some piece of useless trash?

But then again.. why were you suddenly acting so cold and distant? What did he do wrong?

He couldn't help but focus his attention on you throughout the entire day, but you didn't even spare him a single glance.

Needless to say, you felt a knock on your door that night.

“Darling, how wonderful to see you! Wonderful, really. Mind if I come in?”

“A little. What do you need, Alastor?” You stand at the door frame, hand still on the door handle, prepared to slam the door in case anything happens.

Meanwhile, Alastor was pissed. You had never rejected inviting him in for late night chatting, in fact, you never rejected anything from him.

“It's nothing, really. I just hoped to have a friendly little chat with you, if that's alright?” Alastor leans down to your level, tilting his head and giving you his usual smile he reserved for you, and you only.

“A bit busy. Maybe next time.” You attempt to close the door, but a hand swoops in and, damn, was he strong.

“Dear, what seems to be the issue?”

“I’m really busy, Alastor.” You sigh. His ears twitch at the name. Where were all his sweet little nicknames? Why were you only referring to him by his full name?

“Clearly, something is wrong, and I ought to find out what I had done to deserve such treatment.” He states, making himself welcome in your room. “Talk to me, darling.”

“Oh enough with the pet names, I’m not your fucking pet.” You roll your eyes, closing the door behind you to make sure no one stumbles upon your little predicament.

Alastor stiffens, then laughs.

“Whatever are you talking about, dear? Of course you’re not my pet.”

“The damn contract says otherwise..” You watch as Alastor shifts uncomfortably, his back still facing you. “I should’ve known you just wanted another soul. Fuck you, Alastor.”

You continue on about how you never should’ve trusted him, and how you finally knew about everything so there was no point in him pretending to tolerate you.

Alastor, however, could barely process anything you were saying. He could hear his own static in his own head, and it was growing louder and louder.

What the fuck was happening? How did you know? What did he ever do? Where did he go wrong..?

“Darling, please.. You don’t understand-” The radio filter in his voice was off, his actual voice coming out as a soft plea.

Taken aback, you stopped talking. Alastor turned to face you, smile still etched high and proud, but his eyes looked like he was about to break.

“Alastor..” You murmur. “I just don’t think I can trust you anymore. I’m sorry.”

“When have I ever used any of that power on you?!” Alastor snaps, eyes darting all over the place, trying to find out what to do to fix all this. “I’ve been nothing but nice! I.. I helped you when you were in trouble! I did nothing to hurt you..”

You watch as Alastor starts losing his usual composure, having it slowly drifting away.. It was heartbreaking seeing him like this, but you couldn’t bring yourself to forgive him and pretend nothing happened.

“It doesn’t matter when you’re in control..”

“No.. darling, no! You’re in control!” He scrambles, grabbing you by the shoulders.

“Really? I’m not sure I trust any of that bullshit anymore.”

“Dear, please, listen to me..!”

“I'm sorry, Al.. I think it's best if you leave.”

He pauses.

“Have a good sleep, dear.” He says, voice filter completely off. It was a rare occasion getting to hear his sweet voice. Too bad it had to be under such circumstances.

-----

“Oh my, Alastor, what's got your ears pinned back?” Rosie leads her friend through the halls and has him take a seat opposite of her. “Is everything alright?”

“No.. no it's not.” He replies. “She found out.”

“About the deal?”

“No, Rosie. No.” He sighs. “She found out what selling her soul to me actually permits me.”

“But you never wanted to abuse that power, did you?”

“Of course not.”

“Then, I'm assuming you didn't tell her?”

“No.”

“Well, why not?”

“Would it make a difference?" She could practically hear him scoff. "She's irritated at me as is. It's not like she'd even heed my words."

“Come, now, Alastor. You know as well as I that the sweetheart would listen.” Rosie tuts, waving a hand at him.

“She doesn't need to know how powerful she actually is.. she doesn't need to know her soul is being gambled this very second.”

Alastor sighs, getting up from his chair.

“Thank you for your kind words, Rosie. I shall take my leave now.”

“Take care, Alastor.” She smiles. “I'm sure she'll understand.”

“I surely hope you're correct."

———/ TBC. /———

READ PART 2 HERE

[astradreaming]

Please write ares x percy's older sister!reader i have read literally ever fic of him on here

I personally have been reloading the ares tag way too often 😫😫 Sorry the ending is kinda rushed, my duolingo streak nearly finished and then i got distracted 😔

masterlist

Caught.

Percy Jackson had been through a lot.

From quests to prophesies, from Alaska to Greece but he finally thought he'd lost his mind.

He had been having a relatively quiet morning, from having his favourite blue breakfast to having a day off of activities due to the hot summer day.

He was currently walking around the edge of camp for something to do when he froze mid-step in shock at the sight of the God of War standing at the gates of Camp Half-Blood talking to none other than you, his dearest older sister.

At first Percy thought he was offering (demanding) you a quest, it had been known on occasion that Olympians would sought out both you and him for their bidding.

As Percy got closer to you (about to demand that Ares find someone else to bother) he realized that that wasn't the case at all.

Ares stood with crosed arms leaning against the gateway, his head would tilt to match yours as you talked. You were standing close, too close. Everytime you laughed at something he'd said, which Percy doubted was even that funny, your side would brush his.

A werid contrast of orange camp shirt, light blue summer shorts, white sneakers next to his leather jacket and dark blue jeans, black boots.

Percy could now see Ares disgusting face against yours in a heated kiss.

"You know that offer is still on the table" Ares' voice in a playful tone that had Percy involuntarily gagging at.

"Not just yet" To Percy's utter surprise your voice was soft as if you were sadden at the fact you could take whatever offer he'd given you.

"What the actual fuck?" Percy's words slipped before his mind caught up.

You jolted away at the intrusion, your wide eyes meeting Percy's. Ares barely turns his head at the abruption, the only indication he'd even heard Percy was the way his eyes narrowed at him.

"Percy! Why aren't you with Annabeth? You said-"

Percy harshly cut you off, stepping closer to you.

"Why aren't I with Annabeth? Why are you with him!"

Percy watches as you start blubbering trying to figure out what to say, when a hand lands in your shoulder, Ares' hand.

"Get off my sister! You fucker!"

Percy reached out to wack his hand away from you but Ares pushes his shoulder, evading Percy's grasp.

"I fought you once Ares I'll do it again!" He said digging his feet into the ground, reaching into his pocket for Riptide.

Just as Percy was about to uncap Riptide, Ares turned to face you, eyes speaking in a silent conversation, making Percy pause his movements before Ares turned back towards Percy.

"Look kid, as much as I would love to send you on a permanent vacation down with uncle H, I've unfortunately promised a certain someone to not to that" He shrugged as he spoke as if this entire conversation was boring him to an early death.

"Who has made you swear it? My dad? Beacuse when have you ever-"

Ares scoffed quickly dismissing him to face you instead.

"This kid's a fuckin idiot, how's he still alive I mean seriously-"

You glared at Ares as you moved closer to Percy, blocking the two from each other.

"I made him swear it, because you're my little brother and I knew if you found out you'd flip out!"

Percy's heart nearly gave out and if it weren't for years of training to fight he was sure it would have.

"Found out? Oh my gods you're- with him? Him! Ugh, this is the worst day of my life." Percy whined, he knew he sounded like a brat but truthfully the whole thing was making him cringe but one look at your face told him to quickly drop it.

After a moment of painful awkward silence that had Percy's mind running in circles trying to move on.

"How'd you even get him to swear that" Percy said finally finding his voice.

You glanced behind you before quickly looking back at Percy, leaning in as if to tell a secret, Percy leaned in too, not wanting to miss hearing what dirt you had on the Olympian.

"I told him I'd swear I wouldn't speak to him again. He lasted a day" You voice broke off into a fit of giggles.

He found it too funny.

Ares. God of War forever bloodthirsty and always a prick, was whipped for Percy's older sister, who looked after Percy throughout two titan wars and was the same girl who practically raised the younger campers so they wouldn't be lonely. A weird duo.

Percy Jackson looked up to see you shaking your head as you laughed at the memory. He also caught Ares looking at you too.

Although traumatized by the thought you two together he quickly brushed it off. It was unusual and unfortunate for Percy to admit but he and Ares did have two things in common.

Both of them would fight fate for you. And of course, Percy looks at Annabeth the same way Ares looks at you but Percy wouldn't exactly admit that too soon.

[cherubfae]

𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔞𝔩 || {𝔞𝔨𝔞𝔱𝔰𝔲𝔨𝔦}

They're now realizing what a mistake it was to introduce you to the group, now they have competition with their own teammate.

tags: former ninja!reader, gn! civilian reader, established relationships, threats, violence, protective!akatsuki, slightly suggestive in Sasori's || MINORS DONT INTERACT

Pain

He knows that Konan is harmless and she's not the sort of disrespectful person to go sniffing about where she doesn't belong, especially where he and his partner are concerned. Pain, however, cannot tolerate the lingering touches Konan gives you as she passes by. Her hand brushing yours, guiding you with an arm around your shoulders, and blushing at you. He feels a warning is warranted.

"You are my dear friend, Konan, I have known you many years, but this simply won't do. You are better than how you are acting. Be respectful and leave them alone, and I won't need to inflict pain upon you."

Konan

Oh, well isn't this troublesome. Konan isn't the type to make idle threats, but Pain is her commander and leader. That would not be a wise decision on her part, but she does trust her long-time friend to be somewhat respectful and not place you in any situation where you would be uncomfortable. She's not above putting her foot down if she really must.

"Sir, with all due respect, my partner isn't interested and we would both appreciate you to mind your manners."

Obito

You are his everything. He would destroy the entire world for you. Level mountains, tame seas, there isn't anything he wouldn't do as long as it's within his power. He's pretty surprised that Zetsu even took a liking to you, as he's not one that's expressed interest in most anything other than his eating habits.

"Surely Zetsu is mistaken. My partner isn't a corpse for you to munch on you, nor are they yours for the taking. Keep your distance and I won't have to bloody you up too much."

Zetsu

As with anything, both sides of him are at a near constant quarrel with each other. His light side trying to reassure his darker side that Tobi is harmless and doesn't mean anything malicious by taking interest in you.

"Tobi is a good boy, he means no harm." "His harm is his unwarranted interest in our beloved partner. Fool! You have no sense, do you?"

Hidan

Honestly he could laugh so hard he may undo the stitches in his neck. That old fucker wants his partner?? Is he actually serious?

"Haha! That's fucking rich! You've gotta be at least one-hundred by now, huh? Fuck off, geezer! They're not yours!"

Kakuzu

Clearly decapitating Hidan over and over doesn't make him talk any less. Neither does stabbing him-- but it sure does take the edge off. Kakuzu would rather not deal with the younger man's insufferable stubbornness. You are his lover, his alone, and Hidan had no chance in whatever the fuck kind of afterlife his mighty lord Jashin provides. None. Fuck off, Hidan.

"As if they'd want someone as lowly as you. You don't even pay for your own shit. Remember your place or I won't hesitate to remove you from this world permanently. One swipe and your head will be freed from your miserable shoulders. I'm sure all sorts of insects would love to burrow inside of that hollow space."

Itachi

For a moment he's reminded of Sasuke's little schoolboy crush on you, except Kisame isn't Sasuke. He is a grown adult capable of getting in the way of Itachi's livelihood. Threatening the sanctity of his relationship. He's unlikely to do much other than step in if he crosses any boundaries or makes you uncomfortable. So until something is said, it's just this weird, heavy atmosphere. Kisame starts to speak but Itachi cuts him off immediately.

"Keep their name out of your mouth, Kisame. I won't warn you again."

Kisame

Oftentimes he wonders how lonely Itachi is. He annihilated his entire clan save for his younger brother in a single night. He took away everything he loved and for what? He can appreciate Itachi's past but Kisame doesn't take too kindly to the eldest Uchiha brother being a bit too welcoming and protective of his partner.

"Itachi, a word of advice. Don't shit where you eat. And keep your nose out of other's relationships. You're a good, respectable man and I appreciate your concern in my partner's well-being. Let me handle it from here."

Sasori

There's still the age-old artistic view difference between the two: eternal art vs shortlived art. One could argue both have their merits, but even after all these years it was a sore subject between the blonde and redhead duo. And now you were thrown into the mix.

"If you truly think you're so superior to me, Deidara, then perhaps you'd be more open to what a waste your art truly is. My partner prefers eternal, long-lasting, but there's nothing long nor lasting about, is there?"

Deidara

This was great. Jusssst great. Sasori had been hanging around his area of the hideout more and for what, Deidara wasn't sure. Until he recalled that you had been given special permission to visit from Pain himself. You'd forsaken your village long ago and clearly had no interest in reporting them, so it was allowed. Sasori had begun skulking about ever since and the blonde could guess why he might be drawn to you.

"If you even think about turning my partner into a fuckin' puppet, I won't hesitate to kill you, Sasori. No matter which way I go about it, you'll end up in splinters. So, I repeat. Stay the fuck away from them, hmm."

|| ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛ, ʀᴇᴜꜱᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴇᴅɪᴛ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ ɪɴ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴀʏ! ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪꜱꜱɪᴏɴ. ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ꜱɪᴛᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪ ᴘᴏꜱᴛ. ᴀʟʟ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜰᴜʟ ᴏᴡɴᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ © ᴄʜᴇʀᴜʙꜰᴀᴇ 2024 ||

[soullumii]

masked up | joel miller x f!reader

pairing: joel miller x fem!afab!reader

summary: joel fucks you while wearing his gas mask

warnings/tags: 18+ content MDNI, very self indulgent smut (unprotected piv oops, mask kink 🤭, vaginal fingering, riding joel cowgirl because that is for sure his fav position, little bit of a bulge kink, oral [m receiving]) descriptions of blood and violence, established relationship (married!! whoop whoop!!), making joel call you “my wife” because i’m weak for that shit, soft!joel, protective!joel, this got sappy, pet names galore as usual, NO USE OF Y/N

word count: 4.2k

a/n: i can’t explain how i feel about joel wearing a gas mask. i swear every time he put it on while i was playing tlou pt 1 i moaned /hj. just HEAR ME OUT PLEEK. JUST WATCH THIS (it’s a tiktok edit) OK YOULL UNDERSTAND.

You don’t mean for the mask to become a thing.

But it does. It becomes a Thing™.

It all starts and ends with Joel, like good and bad things usually do. And this thing is no exception.

But it all begins with something bad.

Coming across spores nowadays is few and far between for you. You're not usually on patrol much, your job being to tend to the crops in the greenhouse and feed the livestock. 

Today, though, you’re not so lucky. With Tommy out sick, you’re filling in for him. Thankfully, though, you’re paired with Joel, your very lovely and very experienced in the art of dealing with infected, husband. So you know if you come across spores, your husband will have your back. 

Spores are annoying, but they're manageable with gas masks. When you and Joel enter an abandoned office building on a new patrol route and you catch sight of the little specks floating through the air, you immediately put yours on, Joel doing just the same. 

The floaty fungal fuckers themselves aren't scary, especially not when you have the gas masks to keep you safe. It's just what waits in the shadows that scares you, because where there are spores, there's infected. Lots of them. 

And usually interspersed in that conglomerate of stalkers and clickers are the big, meaty ones. The kind that have been sitting and festering for years. The kind that could literally rip you into pieces, regardless if you have a gas mask on or not. Bloaters, yeah, those big shits. The fucking bane of your existence.

Unfortunately, the one lazing around in this abandoned office building must somehow pick up on your undying hate for them because within minutes of you and Joel looting the place for all it’s worth, it comes clambering out of what used to be a conference room.

It's a big one. Noticeably disgusting, outrageously hideous, growling and slobbering as it slings mycotoxin at you. It's not very fast, and yet it's so fucking terrifying as it lumbers after you, because you know exactly what it’s capable of. 

You're shooting at it with whatever arrows you have left in your backpack (though they’re mostly just bouncing off it’s thick fungal exterior), and Joel's crunching out shot after shot with his shotgun, but neither of you are hardly making a dent.

God, you wish Joel had brought the flamethrower he keeps in his storage room. You’d make a Molotov cocktail, but with the other infected hot on your heels, there's no time. 

A stalker comes crawling out of the shadows behind you, knocking over an office chair in the process, and you whip around to lodge an arrow right between its eyes. Two more come swinging out of nowhere, and you're so focused on trying to get rid of them so that they can't reach you��can't reach Joel—that you don't realize you've left your back unattended until a large, gross excuse for a hand lands hard on your shoulder, lugging you backwards with inhuman strength. 

Joel shouts your name with increased panic, and you hear his gun fire off more rounds into the bloater's back, but it doesn't care, it's hands finding your head and jaw, gripping you so tight you think it might shatter your mandible.

"Joel!" You scream, eyes squeezing shut as the pain in your jaw multiplies.

This motherfucker is about to rip you clean in half—

You think this is it, I'm about to die in front of my husband by being torn from the jaw down, but, thankfully, death never comes. Instead, the bloater releases you with a pained roar as the sound of squelching fills your ears. You manage to back away enough to watch Joel tug the bloater off of you by the handle of his machete, the blade lodged in its chest. 

He pulls the machete out only to swing it down in an arc straight into its head, repeatedly. Blood splatters all over him as he bludgeons the wretched thing. Over his veiny arms, his black mask. It sinks into the fabric of his flannel.

And funnily enough, this is when it becomes a thing.

The bloater crumples to the floor with a gurgling groan as it finally dies, and Joel turns to you, chest heaving and eyes wide and panicked. They soften, relieved when he catches sight of you physically intact, though, mentally a bit checked out.

Whether that’s because you’re in shock or because your brain is rewiring as it files this new image of Joel away, who knows? Maybe it's a little bit of both. 

“Are you okay?" Joel asks, sheathing his machete to look you over. His hands catch your jaw gently, a welcome contrast to the bloater. He turns it this way and that, checking for any damage or possible bites.

A traitorous thrumming starts up between your thighs as he stares you down through the lenses of his mask. 

"I'm fine, Joel," you say, breathlessly. "Thanks."

“Thank god,” he squeezes your arm lovingly, grateful to see you in one piece. “Let’s get outta here.”

- - -

"Do you like the masks?" You ask him eventually, when you're back outside, the setting sun warming you pleasantly as the tall borders of Jackson rise in the distance.

You both took the masks off the minute you escaped the spores, but a part of you secretly hoped Joel would keep his on.

Joel scratches at his graying beard. "They keep us safe. Don't feel much for 'em at all really." He glances sidelong at you, a curious quirk to his lips. "Why?"

You shrug, "No reason."

Just trying to figure out if you'd wear it during sex if I asked you to, that's all.

“Alright, somethin's up," Joel says. "You've got the look.” 

“What look?” 

“The sex look.” 

You halt in your hike, turning to narrow your eyes at him. “What the hell are you talking about?” 

Joel fails to stifle a chuckle. “You’re horny. That’s the face you make when you want to have sex. Like you wanna eat me alive.” 

Shit. He’s found you out.

“How would you know?”

He blinks. “Honey, I’m married to ya. Of course I’m gonna know.”

Valid. Still-

"I’m not horny," you try to defend, though you've never been good at lying, and based on the self satisfied smile Joel wears, you know he sees right through you. "We almost died, Joel. Maybe this is my 'loving every minute of my life' look."

"I know that look. This ain't it."

Jesus Christ.

You sigh heavily. “Okay, yes. Maybe I am a little horny.” 

"Because…what? We almost died? That gets you goin'?" 

"No," you grit. You can’t even look at him when you say it. “It’s the mask.”

His brows knit. “The...gas mask?”

You nod tightly. 

“I don’t think I’m followin’,” Joel says. 

Is he seriously asking you to spell it out for him?

You take a deep, steadying breath. You don’t quite know how to phrase this, so you just go for it. “Watching you save my life in the gas mask just sort of woke something up in me. It was hot.” 

“Oh.”

Yup. He definitely thinks you’re crazy.

“So, what, you want me to fuck you while wearin' the mask or somethin’?”

Heat pools heavy and thick between your thighs at his words, your heart hammering behind your ribs. “Something like that, yeah.” 

Joel straightens. “...Okay. I can do that.” 

Your head whips up. “Wait, seriously?”

“You’re my wife. If you asked me to fuck you with a damn jester’s hat on I’d do it.” 

You laugh. “Okay, let’s not go that far.”

“I’d really do it for you.”

“It sounds like you actually want to wear it.”

He chuckles, and you two resume walking back to Jackson. “Alright, so, gas mask on tonight,” he says. “Any other requests?” 

“Since you’re asking…maybe you could wear a cowboy hat sometime…”

- - -

"Jesus, you're really lovin' this," Joel muses.

You're laid out beneath him in your shared bed, his long calloused fingers deep in your cunt, his thumb circling slowly over your clit, drawing out your pleasure, stretching it like taffy. Your jeans are still on, unbuttoned and unzipped, and your soiled underwear is pulled to the side as Joel’s hands unwind you. 

You're grasping onto his muscled forearm for dear life, moans leaking out of you in a steady stream as he fucks his fingers into you, curling up to stroke that spot that has you clenching down hard on his digits as the burning starts in your toes, climbing up your thighs. 

He looks so fucking good with that mask situated over his handsome face, his peppered hair flipping out over the straps that keep it snug on him. His eyes are dark through the lenses as they watch you unravel before him, almost black from how dilated his pupils are.

His jeans are still on, his erection straining hard against his zipper. The flannel he wore earlier is gone, giving you the perfect view of his toned chest and the dark hair that dusts it. There's still some blood stains on his mask. Every time you catch sight of them, your body ignites with something carnal and hungry.

"’Cause, you look hot," you huff between moans. 

Joel laughs, deep and rumbling, and the mask warbles it a bit, adding a distortion to his voice that for some reason makes everything happening so much hotter. “I still don’t really get it, but if it’s makin’ you this wet, I don’t care.”

You moan particularly loud at the sound of his voice muffled through the mask and cant your hips against his hand, the combination of his thumb circling your clit and his fingers fucking up into you has you dangling dangerously close to the edge.

“I-I’m close, Joel.”

His brows furrow behind his mask, and he quirks his fingers inside you even more, and you jolt against his hand. 

“C’mon then, baby. Come for me. Show me how much this pretty pussy loves this mask.”

Fucking shit. When you first met Joel, he hardly spoke a single word, and even when you got him to open up more, he was thoughtful with what he said, chose his words carefully. Unless he was angry, then he could be a bit of an ass.

In bed though? Shit, if you can get him to shut up it’s a damn miracle.

“F-fuck, Joel,” you whine, legs stiffening as your orgasm swells inside you, a match striking, lighting up your viscera as pleasure fast-releases inside your veins. 

“There you go baby, that’s it,” Joel purrs. “So pretty when you come.”

You inhale shakily as the last few shocks fizzle through you, your clit throbbing as you come down from your high.

“Fuck…” you huff, trying to catch your breath.

He strokes your thigh lovingly, and if you could see him behind the mask you’d assume he’s probably wearing that soft smile that he gets sometimes that melts you into a puddle of mushy gushy feelings.

Joel leans back on his knees. “Now it’s time to deliver on that promise,” he says, and your skin tingles at the sound of his zipper. 

“Wait,” you tell him, and he stops, looking at you in concern.

“Somethin’ wrong?”

“No I just…I wanna show you how much this means to me.”

“Me wearin’ this mask? It’s not a big deal-“

You sit up and plant your hands on his chest, pushing him down until his back hits the mattress, effectively shutting him up.

You swing your leg over him, situating yourself right on his lap and peel off your tank, delighting in the way his eyes widen and his hands come down to settle warmly on your thighs. 

The muscles in his arms shift as he squeezes your flesh. The drag of the crotch of his jeans against yours has you biting your lip, a zing of pleasure shooting through you.

Joel’s eyes have darkened behind his mask, his pupils swallowing his irises whole besides the thin circle of hazel remaining at the edges as he watches you.

“I’ve never hated jeans more than I do right now,” he says lowly, his gaze dropping to the rapid rise and fall of your chest.

His strong hands slide up from your thighs to your hips to your waist, his dry, calloused skin causing goosebumps to rise in their wake. Finally, his palms cup your breasts, unrestrained by a bra because they’re too hard to come by in this day and age. 

He squeezes gently, and your nipples tighten beneath his palms. And then he rolls one between his thumb and forefinger, and your back arches, pressing you further into him. Your hips grind down automatically, and Joel releases a hazy moan. 

“Maybe,” you gasp when you roll your hips again, reveling in the delicious friction against your clit. “You should take them off.”

“Yours first.”

You don’t press him on it. You want your jeans off. So you lift yourself off of him and the bed to tug at your zipper, and Joel watches raptly as you pull your skinny jeans down your thighs, kicking them off your ankles.

And then you’re only in your underwear, and you throw your legs astride him again, the cloth of your underwear catching deliciously on the tent in his jeans. Joel’s hands find your body immediately, like a sweet tooth to a chocolate bar. His fingers dig into your flesh, and he grips your thighs, pulling them apart to set you on him fully. A shudder wracks your spine at the feeling of him pressed against your throbbing core.

“Goddamn,” he growls, eyes roving over you hungrily. “So fuckin’ perfect.”

You grind down on the hard outline of his cock, and Joel can’t help his reflexive thrust into you, and you sigh. 

“I need you in me, Joel,” you whisper, leaning forward to plant your hands on his broad chest, your fingers messing with the hair dusting his sternum. “Need your cock filling me up.”

“Christ,” he swears, eyes falling shut as he bucks again. “Need’a be in you, sweetheart.”

His hands find your hips and then your ass, squeezing the muscle cultivated there from twenty years of surviving in an apocalyptic world. 

His fingers dip beneath the waistband of your panties, warm and confident. He lightly rakes his fingernails over your skin, running his calloused fingertips reverently over the stretch marks on your hips. 

“So fuckin’ beautiful,” he whispers through the mask. “Wish I could kiss you.” 

You shiver and your arms loop around his neck. His back is scarred beneath your hands, and you rub gently into the muscle of his traps, causing Joel to release a groan. 

His hand gravitates from your hips to the apex of your thighs, and your breath catches in your throat at the warmth radiating from his fingers when he positions them just below where you want him most.

He circles your clit again, smooth pleasure seeping through your nerve endings and your head falls back in a relaxed moan. You grind against the hard outline of his cock and the pads of his fingers against your clit, each slow drag of your hips causing pleasure to fizzle through you, like a flavored tab in a glass of water.

Your hands travel down his chest and stomach, outlining the thick, jagged scar there. Over his dark happy trail that starts just above his belly button and leads down to what your body is desperately craving. A little treasure map. 

You deftly undo the button and zipper and Joel makes a wrecked noise in the back of his throat when your hand brushes the hard outline of him through his briefs. 

“Wanna show you how much I like you in the mask,” you purr as you palm him. “How hot it gets me.” 

“Fuck,” his head falls back when you tug him out of his briefs, stroking his thick length to full mast. “Please, baby.”

You inch yourself down his legs so that you’re face to face with his weeping cock. Joel’s eyes widen and his hand comes up to gently stroke your hair appreciatively, tucking a lock of it behind your ear. He looks at you with adoration, and your heart swells in your chest.

“I love you, y’know that?” He says, softly. 

You can’t help but get a bit misty-eyed, always a fan of Joel when he gets soft like this. “I love you, too.” 

He smiles, and glances down at his dick, maneuvering it so that the head skates across your lips, leaving a trail of precum. His heated eyes find yours again. “Go on and show me then.”

“Yes sir.”

You keep eye contact as you lean forward to give his cock little kitten licks, and his head drops against the pillow with a groan, eyes lidded. “Shit, you can’t be lookin’ at me like that.”

You just smirk, and lick a long stripe up a prominent vein and kiss the tip of his cock sweetly before slowly taking him into your mouth. You take in as much as you can (which isn’t much, he’s pretty fucking big), and your hands find whatever you can’t fit.

You start sucking him in earnest, pressing the flat of your tongue against the ridge of his cock, delighting in the way the hand that had softly petted your hair before is now gripping it tight when you tongue that sensitive spot that always gets him reeling.

“That’s it, honey,” he groans, his hips twitching with tiny little thrusts as he tries to hold himself back. “Just like that.”

You moan against his cock, which has him bucking up reflexively, shoving his dick further into your warm mouth. Your throat spasms around the head of his cock when it hits the back of it, gagging lightly and tears forming at the edges of your eyes.

“Shit, I'm sorry, sweetheart,” he says, wiping the tears from your eyes with his thumb.

You shake your head slightly in reassurance, moaning around his cock again, and he releases a heavy breath, eyes fluttering shut once more as you continue to suck and bob and lick, effectively ruining him.

“Okay, okay, baby,” he says after a little while, lightly tugging on your hair to try and get you to stop. “I’m gonna come if you keep doin’ that.” 

You release his cock with an audible pop and send him a pout, “But that’s the whole point.” 

He chuckles a bit, sliding the mask off for a second so he can pull you up to kiss you softly, his tongue swiping over your bottom lip. You moan gratefully into his mouth when he tilts his head to deepen it, opening up greedily. As attractive as you find the mask, you certainly do miss being able to kiss him. You sigh happily when he pulls back to mouth at your jaw and throat, sucking and nipping his way down. 

“I wanna be in you when I come,” he murmurs against your skin, voice rough and gruff and you don’t think you’ll ever tire of it. “How’s that sound?”

You moan softly when he bites down on your throat, his beard and mustache tickling your skin. “Sounds…sounds good.”

He gives you another kiss before tugging his mask back down over his head, and your skin ignites, pussy fluttering.

Joel laughs. “I can literally see the cogs in your brain turnin’ when I put this on. You really do like it, huh?”

You shrug with a guilty smile. “The heart wants what it wants.”

And what it wants is him. Real bad.

So you drift a hand down to pull your panties to the side and shift your hips to position yourself over him, the head of his cock catching on your entrance. You sink slowly down, his length filling you.

The two of you moan in tandem.

“There we go,” he sighs.

“Mm, so big, Joel…” you whimper, and his dick jumps inside you.

You both just hang there for a moment, suspended in time as you get used to the feeling of each other. You’ve done this so many times, know each others bodies inside and out, yet it’s still a brand new experience every time.

You always have to adjust to his thickness. 

You break the spell with an experimental roll of your hips, and Joel’s hands clamp down on your hips with a vice grip.

“Christ—“ he swears. “You’re so good, so good for me.”

He’s filling you so fully, so deeply right now, you’re practically speared on him, and each roll of your hips has your clit brushing against his pelvic bone, amplifying that white hot pressure building inside you. 

When you and Joel first started getting intimate together, he was quiet in the bedroom. Probably a bit nervous around you—he was the one that fell first, after all.

But now after years together, he lets it all out.

Grunts and moans leak out of his gritted teeth as you fuck yourself on top of him. He’s dousing you in praises, telling you what a good girl you are. How perfect you are. How lucky he is to call you his wife. 

It’s all so very adorable and very sexy and you just love him so fucking much. 

Joel plants his feet down behind you, just to get some leverage so he can thrust his hips up into you at a steady pace. Your hands find purchase on his chest, keeping you upright while he fucks you.

His large palm slides around the front of your stomach, pressing down, and you can feel the way his cock moves inside you as he does it.

“You see that, baby?” 

You haven’t really looked down, so focused on the way he looks in the mask, how his breaths are coming out heavier and rougher through it. The way he sounds wrecked. But now that he’s asking, you do. 

You look down, only to see a slight bulge in your stomach with each thrust of his hips. 

A pleasant shudder runs through you. “Oh fuck.”

“Love seein’ the way I fuck you,” he rasps.

You watch his cock disappear and reappear with a slack jaw, eyes glazed as his hands stray to your thighs, squeezing and kneading the flesh.

You’re losing strength in your arms, your nails scraping through his chest hair as you try and remain upright, but the effort of matching his thrusts with your own along with the steady ecstasy filling your marrow is enough to have you collapsing against his chest, boneless.

And now Joel can really take the reins. His big hands grip your ass, holding you still as he pounds into you, your cheek smushing against his pecs with each heavy thrust, your clit rubbing against his sweat-slicked skin.

“F-fuck, Joel. Oh my god—“

“Yeah, yeah,” he grunts. “Atta girl.” 

Within moments you’re already there, eyes squeezing shut, brows pulled together in ecstasy as your climax crashes over you in rolling waves. It ebbs and flows within you as you listen to the heated pants modulating through Joel’s mask, watching his eyes gloss over as he chases his own release. 

It’s so fucking good. So right. Your husband never fails to give you exactly what you want.

His thrusts grow sloppier as he follows soon behind you, the fluttering walls of your cunt pulling him over faster.

“I’m comin’,” he grits. And then he’s grinding his cock into your pussy, holding you still against him as he paints your insides with thick ropes of cum, releasing a long, drawn out, wrecked moan of your name.

You lay pliant on his chest, practically drooling on him as you both come down and his cock softens inside you, slick and cum running down the inside of your thighs. His heart pounds under your ear, a steady reminder that he’s alive and here and that you, thank fuck, didn’t die earlier today.

“Thanks,” you mumble against his perspirant skin.

He tugs the mask off, his hair sticking to his sweaty temple. “‘Course, darlin’. Though as hot as that was, I dunno about having sex wearin’ that again. I think I was startin’ to get light headed from the lack of air.”

You giggle, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no. I liked it. But now anytime we have to wear them again I’m just gonna be thinkin’ about this. Gonna get a damn hard-on when I’m on patrol.”

You smirk, leaning up to plant a kiss on his lips. He opens up beneath you immediately, moaning softly into your mouth. 

“Maybe that was my goal all along,” you mumble, smiling into the kiss.

He pulls back with a quirked brow and crooked grin. “You are into some sick kinds of torture.”

“I mean, if it gets you coming home to me quicker…”

“Oh I’ll be comin’, alright.”

Your face scrunches. “God, you’re sick. Why did I even marry you?”

His eyes melt, one hand squeezing your ass cheek, the other stroking your jaw. “Because you love me.”

That causes tears to well in your eyes again, because despite everything, despite all the fucked up things about this world, you do love him. You’re capable of loving him. And you’re grateful that, even with the terrible way life has treated him, he’s capable of loving you too.

“Yeah, I do,” you say.

He kisses you again, sweet and passionate and filled with all the things he never knows how to say. “I love you, too.”

[leclerc-s]

snow angel - track five

series masterlist // previous // next

MAY 2023

yuki tsunoda what's the saying?

lily muni he we ride at dawn!! yuki tsunoda yes, thank you, lily. WE RIDE AT DAWN FUCKERS!!

max verstappen i for one did not know norizz cheated on her with one of her friends.

pierre gasly WHO WAS IT RHEA?

rhea reynolds not important. mick schumacher her childhood best friend. rhea reynolds MICK?!

mick schumacher the people deserve to know the truth!

alex albon that is so much worse than just a friend.

esteban ocon i hope you destroy him with your new album.

mick schumacher oh it's bad.

lance stroll on a scale of multi-21 to abu dhabi 2021. how bad is it?

rhea reynolds probably abu dhabi 2021.

george russell a woman scorned is a man's worst nightmare. good for you.

daniel ricciardo that shit was awfully british of you russell george! george russell I AM BRITISH!

pierre gasly kika says she can't wait to hear you tear this man apart.

max verstappen she's coming for his weave. is that the saying?

rhea reynolds eh, it's an old one but it works.

logan sargeant THEY GOT #FUCKLANDONOWINS TRENDING ON TWITTER!

charles leclerc i hope this resurfaces when rhea releases new music.

lily muni he by the way, where's our sneak peak??

mick schumacher i'm afraid you guys aren't ready for the album. it's so sad.

charles leclerc A WIN FOR THE SAD BITCHES (ME!)

rheareynolds posted new stories

"i bet you couldn't believe. when you realized i'm harder to forget than i was to leave"

he looks like he's hard at work but he's watching deadpool

liked by taylorswift, gina_schumacher, vancityreynolds and others

rheareynolds to the person i can irrevocably be myself with, i love you. i'm sorry this is how the world found out.

tagged: mickschumacher

view all comments

📍mickschumacher ich liebe dich

↳ rheayreynolds ich liebe dich auch

user1 oh my god they're so cute.

user2 what the fuck- they're so adorable.

oscarpiastri oh thank god. i don't think i could handle another rumor that we were dating. i have a girlfriend.

↳ rheareynolds you'd be lucky to date me!

↳ oscarpiastri sure, we'll go with lucky

lancestroll and this is the part where everyone thanks me and lily because we're the reason those two are even together.

↳ user3 thank you for your service lance and lily

user4 it's literally black cat gf and golden retriever bf

arthur_leclerc oh good. i don't think i could handle keeping this a secret any longer.

↳ olliebearman because bigmouth leclerc is the reason i found out and i don't even know rhea!

vancityreynolds gross get this shit off my feed

↳ rheareynolds and to think just yesterday you were asking me "when can i see mick again?"

↳ vancityreynolds i have to deal with your pda in person what makes you think i want to see it on my instagram feed?

↳ mickschumacher that's a very valid answer.

↳ rheareynolds kiss ass

↳ mickschumacher it's why blake likes me more than you

↳ rheareynolds TAKE IT BACK SCHUMACHER! I'M BLAKE'S FAVORITE!

user5 blake 🤝 mick 🤝 handing the reynolds craziness

maxverstappen1 orange just stormed out of the motorhome. he's heading for aston martin, nevermind he's coming for me.

↳ maxverstappen1 he's shouting for me to come outside. i will not.

↳ rheareynolds coward

↳ maxverstappen1 and you just couldn't wait until after miami?

charles_leclerc congrats but also could someone like, tell orange to stop causing a scene? this is very embarrassing.

↳ georgerussell63 he has found his way to the mercedes motorhome. we are in danger.

liked by vancityreynolds, estebanocon, blakelively and others

mickschumacher the prettiest girl ever.

tagged: rheareynolds

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📍rheareynolds hey, i love you!

↳ mickschumacher hey, i love you too!

user6 this, this couple means everything to me.

lilymhe STOP! THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE!

francesca.cgomes aww mick, this is so adorable!

user7 i want someone to look at me the way rhea looks at mick

↳ user8 she genuinely looks so in love with him

pierregasly he's making the rest of us look bad.

↳ mickshumacher i have to humble all of you somehow.

↳ alex_albon NOT LIKE THIS SCHUMACHER!

user9 aww guys regina george found her forever.

vancityreynolds don't fuck this up schumacher. i know how to use a katana.

↳ mickschumacher that's not as threatening as you think it is. i saw you scream over a spider. but i wasn't planning on it.

user10 the picture of her with the tums is so funny. why did she even have them in the first place?

↳ user11 because she's rhea and she does random shit like this all the time.

blakelively so that's where ryan's tums went...

↳ rheareynolds it was an emergency blake! esteban needed them!

↳ estebanocon liar! you stole them for 'funsies'

user12 i never remember blake and ryan liking one of lando's posts about rhea.

↳ user13 or commenting, they must have known he was going to fuck up eventually.

↳ user12 or they just didn't like him for rhea.

JUNE 2023

liked by yukitsunoda0511, lilymhe, francesca.cgomes and others

rheareynolds snow angel THE ALBUM OUT 08/18 snow angel THE SINGLE OUT 06/09

view all comments

pierregasly 69? really

↳ rheareynolds i’m a comedian gasly.

user1 it’s literally the 8th! the single is out tomorrow!!

lilymhe his peace ends now

↳ rheareynolds babe he hasn’t known peace since bahrain 2022. you’ve made it your goal.

↳ lilymhe i would be a horrible best friend if i didn’t fulfill my duty

danielricciardo album of the year i fear

maxverstappen1 his peace is over. i will be playing this everyday until the end of the season

↳ user2 trust max to terrorize no wins with this album. we thank you for your service.

↳ maxverstappen1 glad to be of service 🫡

user3 oh i just know this album is going to hurt

yukitsunoda0511 will i find myself crying to this album?

↳ rheareynolds perhaps?

mickschumacher you killed it!

↳ rheareynolds i literally love you.

francesca.cgomes i fear she ate with this

oscarpiastri this post has reached the target. i repeat target has been reached.

↳ rheareynolds good. thank you for your service mr.pastry!

↳ user4 i love this duo so much

alex albon WAS YOUR GOAL TO BREAK OUR HEARTS??

logan sargeant I AM A PUDDLE OF TEARS ON THE FLOOR!!

charles leclerc i was so right in claiming snow angel.

yuki tsunoda DUDE I GET TO SCREAM THIS SONG IN CANADA! LET'S FUCKING GO!!

lily muni he she went to the taylor swift school of heartbreaking track 5's because WHAT THE FUCK??

mick schumacher i warned you guys.

oscar piastri can't wait to play this song right next to his drivers room.

max verstappen CAN I FIGHT HIM?? LET ME FIGHT HIM??

george russell YOU ARE NOT WEAK! HE'S WEAK!

daniel ricciardo FUCK MEN! FUCK LANDO NORRIS!

george russell YOU ARE SO WORTHY! HE ISN'T!

lily muni he RHEA, BABY, WE LOVE YOU!

rhea reynolds aww, i'm glad you guys liked the song.

max verstappen what's stopping me from crashing into him in canada??

yuki tsunoda what's stopping me from biting his ankles?? pierre gasly what's stopping me from running him over with my car??

lance stroll there are tears in my eyes rhea. this isn't funny

esteban ocon i can confirm there are tears in his eyes. but they are also in mine.

charles leclerc i haven't been able to stop crying since i first heard it. arthur is worried.

mick schumacher it'll be even worse when you hear the album. i cried the first time.

mick schumacher and the second, and the third mick schumacher IT'S A SAD ALBUM!

max verstappen i will fight him. we are defending rhea's honor.

rhea reynolds no, max, it's okay. i'm over it, i promise.

lily muni he it's okay, i can fight him.

yuki tsunoda and me. he will never see me coming. rhea reynolds NO! NO FIGHTING! logan sargeant what about crashing into him?? rhea reynolds NO! oscar piastri slowly torturing him with the song?? rhea reynolds umm, i'll let you people do that one thing.

daniel ricciardo A WIN FOR US! A LOSS FOR NOBITCHES!

alex albon operation make norizz miserable starts now.

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click here to be added to the taglist

¡leclerc-s speaks! am i making lando too big of an asshole? oh who cares, it's a fanfiction.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[sunohws]

fuck you - choi yeonjun

pairing: sub!yeonjun x dom!male!reader

synopsis: You find out Yeonjun has a degradation kink after an argument.

genre (w/tags): smut, minors dni.. degrading, semi-public sex, college au

word count: 0.8k words

a/n: yeonjun. i finally made smth for yeonjun. I CRIED FOR 2 DAYS JUST FOR THIS TO BE LIKE 800 WORDS. IM SO ASHAMED. I WANTED TO MAKE SMTH LONH AND UNFORGETTABLE FOR YEONJUN BUT I CANT CUS I GET FRUSTRATED..

im sorry its so short..

"You are so annoying, you know that?"

"Maybe you should cry about it."

"I don't know how you're even allowed to walk into this fucking college with that peanut brain."

"No swearing please Mr. Kim!" The teacher piped in, though she knew both students were much too caught up in their argument to listen to anyone.

"Oh my god, did you get any love as a child?"

"Apparently much more than you did."

"What shoes your mom got on?"

"Are you trying to get killed?"

"Try, you fucking lunatic."

"I'm not all bark like you are Babyboy I don't recommend saying shit like that."

"Oh, I'm so scared."

"Mr. Choi and Mr. Kim, would you please sit back down? I'd like to continue my class."

The looks she received was enough to nod her head and sit herself down, letting them continue. The entire class even looked entertained.

"You are just so entirely pathetic it's hard to even look at you."

"Oh really?"

Yeonjun looked a little taken aback, spitting out a "yes? you're so hopeless." You gave him an amused look, challenging almost. You leaned down, face coming terribly close to Yeonjun's ear so that no one else could possibly see what you were saying.

"Then why are you hard?" You whisper, lingering there for a second to watch Yeonjun's face go red. He sat down, faced forward, and told the teacher to continue with class. "Finally." She huffed, carrying out the lesson. Yeonjun put his head down on his desk, realizing he was actually hard. 'What the hell,' he thought.

He heard you laughing quietly, you were way too amused by this situation. Soon class ended, and Yeonjun was too embarrassed to say absolutely anything as he tried to silently leave the class. He checked to make sure you weren't following him, then slipped into an old janitor's closet. 'God I wish there was a lock on this fucker.'

He tried to go behind some buckets and such against the wall so if anyone did enter, he wouldn't automatically be caught. Yeonjun attempted to quietly palm himself, using majority of his brain power to not think about you. Maybe he really liked arguing. Maybe he really liked being littered with insults by a very gorgeous boy with rings and piercings and a soothing voice.

"So, yeonjunie has a degradation kink, hm?" Yeonjun's eyes flew open, seeing you standing tauntingly in front of him. "I don't have a-" You moved forward suddenly, flicking Yeonjun's chin up to meet your eyes. Your knee pressed in between his thighs.

"I really never took you for a slut, you know? You can't even stop yourself from moaning my name." Yeonjun choked on a moan, his head rolling back against the wall. "It just happened, okay? I would never like you like that you fucking creep" Your knee pressed against him more making Yeonjun's eyes roll to the back of his head.

"You seem to be enjoying this a lot." You leaned in further, "Are you okay with this?" He eagerly nodded yes of course, finally admitting he wanted it. "Tell me if i go too far, please." You pulled Yeonjun forward to connect their lips, bringing their bodies as close as possible to each other.

Yeonjun grabbed at your hand to force it onto his own throat, you got the message and lightly gripping his throat. You brought your other hand to palm at Yeonjun's dick that was still hanging out for some reason. Yeonjun whined loudly, his head banging against the wall roughly every time he threw it back.

"You like pain too, hm, whore?" You said against his skin, biting on the soft flesh. Yeonjun couldn't stop shivering and groaning. You slowly lowered yourself onto your knees, starting to pump at the base. "How pathetic, you're so hard for me?"

Yeonjun moaned purely at the words; tears were streaming down his face already from the stimulation. "Do you want me to suck your sad little cock, hm?" He nodded vigorously. "Words, Yeonjun."

"Yes, please! please y/n" He choked out. You slowly put the entire length into his mouth, Yeonjun rendered speechless as the moan was caught in his throat. You started to go faster, bobbing up and down until you could feel the back of your throat being hit. You gripped his thighs harshly, using all your might to bottom out each time.

"Oh my- oh my god, im-" Yeonjun suddenly came into your mouth, feeling embarrassed and scared that you might not have wanted that. Though, you swallowed every drop possible, wiping your chin and licking it off while making eye contact. You liked the bittersweet taste. Yeonjun swore he could get hard purely off of that sight alone, but he was still trying to catch his breath.

You re-did the black-haired boys' pants, making sure he was clean and okay to go back to class. Yeonjun brought their lips together again for a slower kiss once you got up. 

"Fuck you." he spat, though smiling slightly. 

"Name a time and place." you laughed, smiling as he left the closet. 

I FINALLY WROTE SMTH FOR YEONJUN...

[astarion-approves]

astarion reacts to tav being betrayed by a loved one and tav getting injured during the betrayal?

Astarion x Gender Neutral Tav! - Fucking Randy Astarion first person POV - it's alright lol I can't even think of a summary for this...

Tags: More humor than angst, first person pov (Astarion), 500+ words, drabble, poor description of a fight, OOC Astarion

Summary: Honestly, I don't know what Tav saw in that human. A complete jackass, and one that would eventually get them killed.

Read here or on AO3

-------------------

The battle started just as any other. Tav ahead of us, usually sticking their nose where it didn’t belong, insulting strangers without a second thought, or even just punching someone at random for the hell of it. It was one of the things that made me approve of them so quickly. Their… ‘I don’t give a shit’ attitude. I admired it. Loved it, really. 

Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one. 

His name was Randy. Yes, Randy, if you can believe it. A human male who was tall and lanky, but not in an unattractive way— again, unfortunately for me. Somehow he had managed to woo Tav before we’d even met. The barbarian was a complete savage, encouraging Tav to make admittedly stupid decisions, drinking past his limit, and taking advantage of Tav’s kindness without them even realizing it. 

It came as no surprise when Tav spit straight into the face of someone trying to intimidate our group. Hell, I laughed in response. Watching someone wipe spit from their face in shock is never not funny. Disgusting, obviously, but hilarious nevertheless.

Shadowheart clicked her tongue and readied her weapon, Gale doing much the same but with a heavy sigh, Randy (fucking Randy, really? Seriously? Randy? RANDY?!) revealed his sword and steadied it in his hands, and my lovely self exposed my dangers— each of us ready to destroy those who stood before us. 

Tav grinned at their lover, laughing as Randy lunged forward and buried his sword into the spit covered face of the one that stood before them. A dagger would have been a better choice, but who am I to judge? Right? I was only a fucking magistrate. 

Fucker. 

Soon other’s flooded into the area, the quick murder drawing their attention to our group. Tav and Randy worked their way through the group, the rest of us picking off the rangers that tried to hide. 

A quick fight, as it usually was with our group… 

But then… something happened. 

A shot of fire, heading directly towards Tav and Randy— Shadowheart wasn’t fast enough to shield them and the pair were vulnerable against it. I heard Tav scream as Randy grabbed their shoulders and pushed them in front of himself. I could only watch as the fire flew towards them and exploded against Tav’s chest. They fell to the ground, landing on their side, no longer breathing. 

Gale cast a spell in the direction of the killer, but I wasn’t paying attention, I was running to Tav. 

They laid on the ground, their eyes open and staring into nothing, mouth hanging open as if they were still screaming from the blow. I dropped to my knees beside them, cradling their head in my lap, my hands tapping on their cheeks, words flying from my mouth but I didn’t even know what I was saying. 

“Leave them,” Randy said. “We need to keep moving.” 

I flung my dagger into his skull. 

Shadowheart began casting spells, anything they could do to bring Tav back—

But they still laid there. 

Luckily, all we had to do was carry them back to camp and Withers was able to bring them back from the dead. 

Randy we left behind. Because fuck Randy. 

And now, tonight, I’ll be making my first move on Tav. They’re still a little hurt from the betrayal, weeks later. And… they also tell us stories of their nightmares and the cool chill of death that lingers and haunts them— 

But they blush when they look at me, and that’s good enough for me. 

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Closed Position: Week 5 Teaser

Hello my lovelies!

How about a little late night (or early morning) teaser for the next chapter of Closed Position? I know, I’m totally edging you all (I’m not sorry). It will be worth the wait though. I hope…👀

So as of today, Week 5 (Part 3) is completely written. I just have editing left. That will probably take me a day or so. Looks like it’s going to be around 13.3kish words. It’s another lengthy one. Now do you see why I had to split it into 4 parts? 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Please accept this teaser to hold you over. And yes, the included pics are hints too.

My eyes rolled at Dieter’s ridiculousness as I moved to take another drink of my water. I nearly choked, spilling half of it down the front of my shirt as his next story popped up on the screen. It was a mirror selfie of him sitting on the edge of the bed wearing nothing but his black boxer briefs and brown leather jacket. Once I stopped coughing, I audibly groaned. He looked so fucking good. Without a second thought, I took a screenshot, just as there was a knock at my door. I quickly locked my phone as I yelled to come in, realizing too late that I probably looked like a hot mess. Dieter popped his head around the door, “Hey sleeping beauty…what in the world happened to you?”

I looked down at my shirt and rubbed aimlessly, “I spilled my water.” Because of you, you beautiful fucking tease. “What’s up?”

He looked amused, “I’m gonna go grab us some breakfast. I’ll be back.”

I gave him a deadpan stare, “I hope you found your pants.”

He snorted, “Unfortunately for you, I did.”

Fucker. I narrowed my eyes and chucked a pillow toward his face, “Shut up. Get out of here.”

Kat is literally at the end of her rope with this man y’all. The menace is menacing hard. 😈

Anyone wanna take a guess at what happens after this part? 👀😏

All I can say is, poor Kat. 😬😂

The Lifts

There are a couple of lifts mentioned in detail while they are rehearsing for the Rumba. I felt like you needed visuals, so I made gifs. Tumblr is a bitch about upload limits, so the first two go together. There is a reason this dance gets them into trouble and these are only two examples. 🫣

Don’t worry, your edging will end in this chapter. I’m making sure it’s nice and smutty for you. Kat is going to get her mind blown and Dieter can finally get over his blue balls. Everyone will be happy. I hope to have happy screams in my comments and reblogs when it’s over. Or you may still be screaming wtf are you doing to us?!?! I’m not sure…😬

I’ll just end this with, talk to you soon. 😉

💜Mysty

CP Tags: @titlee78 @legendary-pink-dot  @survivingandenduring @wannab-urs  @harriedandharassed

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[angelsanarchy]

Glass Houses: Jack Thurlow x Y/N One-Shot Series PRT 37

Tagging: @roryculkinluvr@thatsthewrongwallcraig@icarus-star @cc-luvr @madamemaximoff06@shady-the-simp @quicksilversg1rl @s-0lar @kristennero-wallacewellsver@ophelialaufey @mayathepsychic1999 @x-prettyboy-x @rorylover71 @auggiethecreator @tempt-ress @blacksoul-27 @kappasbbgirl @starry-eyed-wild-child

Jack didn't expect to feel this way as Shanda talked with Y/n like they were the best of friends. She was so open to her and was able to laugh with her unlike she had with anyone else he's ever introduced her to. He knew Shanda would like her but he didn't realize how much until he watched them shotgun a blunt together.

He felt giddy as they all talked. Y/n fell into place effortlessly and made sure to keep checking on him as he took hits of the blunt. Not in a "you shouldn't be doing that" sort of way but in a way that she wanted to make sure he was having a good time and not a bad trip from this West Coast weed.

"Do you want the 2-cent house tour? Jack will proudly complain about how much work he did to the house but secretly it makes him feel like his balls are huge." Y/n teased making Jack shake his head.

"It doesn't take big balls to renovate a house...it takes a lot of hard work, stupid amounts of money...and a big cock." Jack teased right back but Shanda threw her hands up in the air.

"I'll take the tour if you keep your dick and balls out of this." She started up the steps and Jack trailed behind her like two children picking out their bedrooms in a new home.

Y/n watched how Jack interacted with Shanda and could tell how much he's changed. It made her smile seeing him so lively and excited as he gave her and her girlfriend a tour of the house. He proudly took her to each room and told her how shitty it was to get all the old junk out and drag it all downstairs but he was happy with how it all turned out.

"I love that you turned your dad's studio into your office. I think that is awesome." Shanda put her fingers on the drafts he had pinned to the corkboard for the book her had written.

"I didn't get a chance to tell you but I sent my book off to a publisher...we're waiting to see if they're gonna bite or not." Jack shoved his hands in his pockets shyly and Shanda shoved him before wrapping her arm around his neck.

"You fucker! That's amazing! I'm so fucking proud of you!" Shanda hugged him and Jack laughed.

"No one has called yet so don't be too proud. I could just be a hack." Jack joked.

"Not a chance. I've read it and have offered sexual favors for a sequel." Y/n cut in.

"That good huh?" Crystal laughed.

"I thought it was brilliant. Knowing him personally only makes the book more chilling. I think it's going to get picked up without a doubt." Y/n said firmly making Jack walk towards her and kiss her cheek. Shanda awed at them and Jack rolled his eyes.

They all go back downstairs and resume dinner with the leftover pizza and weed, talking about how Shanda moved in with Crystal finally and how Crystal's art exhibit was featured locally. Y/n sat with her legs crossed towards Jack, holding his hand in her own and resting it on his knee. It was such a simple gesture but Jack felt whole just having her holding his hand. He hadn't notice Shanda watching them interact with one another.

"I would love to hang out longer but I have to get up for work super early and I already know I'm going to crash from that weed." Y/n laughed getting up from her chair. Jack hadn't released her hand yet even as she walked around and hugged Crystal and Shanda goodbye.

Jack walked her to the front door and he squeezed her hand.

"I'll text you when I got to bed." Jack said giving her a kiss. She touched his face and smiled.

"If I don't answer, just know I'm passed out but I will call in the morning." Jack felt warmth in his stomach as she held his face in her hands and kissed him again, this time taking her time.

"Love you." She whispered before walking out the door like it was nothing. Jack didn't have time to think about it. She had just told him that she loved him and left. He watched he walk across the yard and go inside the house before turning around and jumping at the sight of Shanda standing there.

"Jesus fuck..." He yelped and she smirked.

"She's the one, huh?" Shanda teases. Jack gives her a shove as they return to the living room, Shanda sitting between Crystal's legs and Jack sat opposite them on the other end of the couch.

"The one? I mean I'm just glad she agreed to be my girlfriend. I'm not trying to jump into a marriage just yet." Jack laughed it off.

"Why not? She's gorgeous and sweet. She also believes in your writing which is awesome to have in a supportive partner." Crystal gave Shanda a squeeze.

"You look happier than I've ever seen you...even when you were with Cleo." Shanda says honestly. Jack smiles and nods knowing it's true. He's never felt like this before. He starts to wonder if maybe he was ever really in love with Cleo because he never felt like this with her.

"You look healthy too, kind of jacked." Crystal added making all three of them laugh out loud.

"Yeah that's probably from the renovations. Moving a lifetime of bullshit from three levels has been a workout." Jack admits. He knew the first week he should have hired help with the work but he didn't trust anyone to help him go through his families secrets and junk. He felt stronger both physically and mentally and he knew Y/n had a lot to do with that.

"Do you love her?" Shanda asked bluntly.

"I mean...yeah I do. I don't know really know what that means yet but I know that I need her in my life in order to feel whole which I know is some cliche bullshit but I feel hopeful when I'm with her, when I think about her." Jack explained getting lost in his thoughts. Shanda nudged him with her foot and pulled him out of his head.

"Happy for you bitch." Shanda smiled almost looking like she had tears of joy in her eyes.

"Happy for you whore." Jack gripped her ankle and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Crystal and Shanda slept in the guest room as Jack shut down the house around 1AM. He paced around the hardwood floor biting his lip and knowing that Y/n was probably already asleep but he had to talk to her. He opened the door and looked up towards her room. The light was off. He looked at the garden trellis and started to carefully climb up to the second floor. The last thing he wanted to do was fall off the side of the house and be found in the morning broken and humiliated.

He gripped the side of the windowsill and knocked on the glass lightly at first. It took a minute before the light came on and Y/n appeared with a heavy dumbbell in her hand. Once she saw Jack she dropped it on the bed and quickly opened the window.

"Are you crazy? Are you trying to break your ass?" She griped his forearms but he didn't let her pull him into the window.

"I didn't say it back." Jack breathed.

"What?" She looked confused.

"You said love you when you left and I didn't say it back." Y/n shook her head at him but before she could speak he cut her off.

"I love you. I am so in love with you, you know that right?" Jack confessed seeing Y/n smile. She dropped to her knees and still kept ahold of him.

"I know you do idiot. You didn't' have to scale the house to tell me." Y/n pushed his sweaty hair off his forehead. He smiled back at her.

"I just wanted you to know." She leaned forward and kissed him.

"Can I pull you into the window now? I'm not fucking you in a full body cast." Y/n asked making Jack laugh as he let her drag him through the window. He stripped out of his clothes and snuggled into bed with her, holding her in his arms. This was perfect to him. His life, no matter what direction it took, felt whole.

[barbiecrocs]

Bad Acting

Miguel O'Hara

Part 1 Part 2

tags! Actress x Businessman, masturbating(fem)

WC.1743

Barbies Note... I'm like the Boruto Manga the way I'm uploading once a month. Keep em waiting 😜😜😜 Anyway, not much to say but ENJOYYYYYYY

Bad News

You finally make it home after a painful morning meeting with your manager Lyla when you realize how much your back hurts. Setting your purse and jacket on the coat hanger by the door, you start feeling a buzzing sensation from your purse. Digging out the item you find that it’s your personal phone getting lit up by some unknown number. You press decline but they call again and send a text message before you can block them.

“I guess giving me the cold shoulder is the only way to get back at “him”, huh?”

You almost overlook the message, thinking it was some crazed fan who found your number until the gears in your head click. You kiss your teeth when you think of standing toe to toe with him in a heated verbal dispute that was most likely started by you out of sudden anger. “Fucker. How dare you?” You frown, muttering as you type those exact thoughts adding the question, “How did you get my number? I changed it like three times.” Onto the back. The reply you get is immediate. “I’m not supposed to say.” He says which is… ominous for sure but also a little out of character for him. Almost as if he weren't here to start an unnecessary argument with you or ruin the rest of your day. “We have better things to discuss. I have a favor to ask of you, but it’s the kind of thing that should be asked in person if you catch my drift.”

Hell. Nah. And that’s where you’ll leave it. In fact, you’ll wipe the pointless conversation from your memory.

You stare at your phone, the feeling of cringe almost overflowing as you read the text. No, you don’t catch his damn drift. His words don't answer any questions and only confuse you more after he drops a time and place for today before going radio silent.

. Seriously, the audacity of this man! To grab your personal number from where ever the fuck, or whoever the fuck, and contact you early in the morning like a close friend, knowing you are no longer that and hate his guts. Well, not his guts. More like his brother’s to be frank, but in your eyes they are basically the same person. Hell, Miguel is probably where Gabriel learned all his terrible behavior because why wouldn’t he take after his bigger brother? Anyway, despite knowing your distaste for the family, he still tried it? It truly makes you wonder if there's a brain up there, at least a working brain cell. Then he thinks that you’d meet up with him? That you’d do him a favor? Pshhhhh, a dream if he ever had one.

Setting the shower to your preferred temperature, you lock the door and shut the windows to prevent the steam from escaping. You set your phone face down on your bathroom’s pristine marble counter before getting ready to shower and laze around the house all day. Having already kicked off your shoes at the front door, you begin undressing. First, your socks, then leggings, next, your top and bra, and lastly your makeup. Drying your face, you close your eyes as a huge breath is sucked into your mouth and released in one big whoosh as a sigh. Almost all nerves are terminated except the last one that weighs on your mind, telling you this seems like a too-good-to-be-true dream.

But, even if it is, you won’t mind falling for it just this once because you rarely get a full day to yourself. Just think about all the things you can do. The thought makes a pleasurable shiver run up your spine, releasing a certain set of chemicals in your brain, and you refuse to deny what they want your body to do. Finally, the steam surrounds your body and it’s not long until you get caught up in the mood of things and start feeling another heartbeat between your legs. You step into the bathtub, with not only a small gratifying smile on your face but a different objective than what you originally came for. You let the water run down your body, watching it as it hits your chest as a whole before breaking up into multiple streams again. Some travel down the valley of your breast while others go haywire with all types of twists and turns after running down your boobs, ribcage, and curves of your midsection. Once you’re warm, you begin getting into position, knees to your chest, under the bathtub faucet switching the water from the shower head to the nozzle below.

The water wastes no time making its way to your clit making you gasp from the suddenness even though you should’ve been prepared since its release was in your hands. Nevertheless, this miniscule experience doesn’t dull the tender leg-shaking feeling the water gives you. The pressure, the warmth, the wetness, it’s everything as you let the water beat up on your clit in the best way possible. A hand sneaks around your butt, gently feeling around as to not break emersion before sliding your fingers into your pussy, but they don’t do much considering the lack of length on them. But you still crave a little more stimulation even going as far as pulling the hood on your clit back a bit before feeling your orgasm come on too quick for your liking. This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and you will savor and drag it out for as long as you can. Trying to get more than 24 hours out of the 24 hours the day has given you. Plus, everything feels better when you have to wait for it, just like this day. Just like your orgasm, but it doesn’t hit you as it usually would. There’s a build-up to it that explodes with pleasure in the middle but also plateaus at the highest peak before gradually coming down with half-lidded eyes and a brain that buzzes oh so sweetly with every thought. You push away from the faucet and lay there until you can get a hold of your bearings, letting out a big sigh before rising to your feet to continue where you left off.

You feel excited as you step out of the shower and into your robe and slippers, only to realize that you finally have the opportunity to go through your whole skin and body care routine. The thought brings not only a smile to your face but also motivation to shave your whole body neck to toe. Another shiver skips down your spine but this time it was one of joy. Oh, how ecstatic you were for something so minuscule in others eyes. Mental Health Days with a sprinkle of body care have been one of your favorite things in the world ever since breaking up with your toxic ex. Your mind begins to drift into the past but you quickly stop yourself, only preaching to look forward in life, never back.

In the midst of jamming to your music and putting on your gel face mask you get a call. At first, you roll your eyes thinking it was Miguel again until you remember that you blocked his ass immediately after the interaction y’all had. You pat various places on your counter until looking down and see your phone missing, not having time to look for it, you tell Alexa to answer it for you.

“Hello-” Before you can get a whole sentence out a loud voice overcomes yours, “Finally the little diva picks up the phone. I’ve been calling you for the past 20 minutes. Do you have any idea how much my phone bill is gonna be?”

“You can’t blame that on me. You know, most people would stop calling after the third one and say, “Hm, it looks like she’s busy right now. I guess I’ll call later.” And go on about their day waiting for either a callback or a reasonable time to call again.” You huff, half frustrated that you can’t find your phone and half frustrated that Lyla interrupted your Mental Health day. Unbeknownst to you, Lyla retorts something but as said, it goes over your head as you search your house room to room, upside and down, and inside and out. In defeat, you stalk back into your bathroom, head down only to see your phone on the floor behind the toilet. You can feel your eye twitch before a reasonable roar rips through you and Lyla goes silent on the other side. It seems as if you’ve broken her train of thought because she begins talking about what she truly called you for. Which would seem like a relief for you, but in reality it’s not.

Anyhow, you put your phone down and begin the second half of your skincare, body care.

“Anyway, I noticed that your schedule seemed too empty today, so I did you a favor and-” Before she finishes her thought, you cut her off. 

“NO!” You yell and everything goes quiet. Her breath hitches on the other side and you continue your thought after realizing she isn’t going to chip in. “My schedule is very much full today with me, myself, and I. No room for anything else today, sorry.” You say and right before you can hang up she manages to get a word in. “Oh, come on! You act like I filled up your schedule. I only booked one thing, which you would’ve known if you paid attention to your phone because I sent it to you! Plus you should drop the 'tude! Everything I do is for you and your success. I mean that as a friend and your manager.” Your shoulders sag seeing how right she is when you turn on your phone only to see ten missed calls and desperate texts. “Ugh, what is it even about?” Dread oozing from your voice.

“Read the calendar I sent you.”

“When is it?” You push for an answer which you still don’t get.

“Read the calendar I sent you!”

“Where is it?” You push once more, tipping her over the edge.

“READ THE CALENDAR- UGH YOU KNOW WHAT? I ALREADY KNOW YOU’RE DOING THIS TO GET ON MY NERVES, BYE GIRL.” She hangs up in your face and you silently chuckle to yourself, "Payback." You mutter. Opening up your text messages you see that she sent you one last text after the call.

'Hm, it's a link.' You think as you hesitate to tap, praying that this isn't another meeting.

Your thumb finally makes contact with the screen and a dark bubble in your stomach pops with relief. Well, half relief because it isn't another meeting, but a date?

MYSTERY MAN!! (Information below)

-DRESS FORMAL

-NO MONEY NEEDED (All expenses paid)

-FOOD AND ALCOHOL SERVED

-WEAR GOLD CLOTHING AND JEWELRY OR CLOSE TO IT

-THE DATE SHOULD LAST FROM 8:00PM TO AS LATE AS 12AM

-MOST IMPORTANTLY, HAVE FUN

-LYLA WILL BE IN THE ROOM TO ENSURE NO ONE GETS HANDSY yet ;)

XOXO, Your manager.

Knowing that you most likely won't be able to control whatever happens next, you pour yourself a moderate glass of red wine, turn on your favorite show, and kick back on your sofa to enjoy the rest of your mental health day before getting back up again.

Barbies Note... Two Barbie Notes in this chapter?🤨🤨🤨 Yes. Anyway I just wanted to say that this chapter was a bit of a snooze fest, ik ik but the next chapter should be more interesting with some lore dropping😼

[imperator-titus]

Ghost from the Past [Part 12]

(Prev)[Part 11] (Next)[Part 13] [Master Post]

This one is for the horny fuckers reading this story. If you don't want to read smut (very valid of you), you can probably stop after Eletha and Astarion talk to the mirror image. If you want to read right up to the point of explicit descriptions of sex, stop after Gale gets Eletha to join them on the bed. You can come back after the last linebreak. (I tried to put in content warning tags and the post didn't show up in the tags, I apologize to people who have those tags blocked.)

Honestly, this might be my magnum opus of smut, I don't think I've ever written something this complex before. I even had a friend read it over to make sure it can be followed, which is not something I normally do.

Please enjoy!

“You good?” Eletha asked Gale as they sat around the fire the next morning. “You don’t have to come if you’re not feeling so hot.”

“With you, I feel most hot,” Gale responded, unknowingly smirking as he expertly flipped their morning sausage. Then it occurred to him what he just said. “I mean- That is to say- I feel fine. Thank you. I think it would be prudent of me to accompany you.”

She gave him a little smile. “I appreciate it.”

“You look like hell,” Astarion said to Gale as he walked up, taking the seat next to him opposite Eletha.

“Not as bad as you,” Eletha spat back defensively. Gale merely shook his head, not dignifying the insult with a response.

Astarion crossed his arms and pouted. “Well, there’s nothing to eat out here. And you have been stingy with your neck.”

A look crossed her face that said she didn’t think about that. Her demeanor became apologetic. “Oh. Right. I have some time.”

In the privacy of his tent, Eletha took off her shirt and neatly set it aside. 

The wind was knocked out of her chest as Astarion’s body collided with hers and slammed her forward onto the hard ground. She opened her mouth to complain, only to grunt as Astarion’s fangs sank into her neck. He wrestled her a bit, like an animal dominating a rival or immobilizing its prey.

It wasn’t the pain that surprised her, but the ferocity with which he feasted on her. The sounds echoing her ears weren’t his normal pleased sighs. When his teeth left her flesh, she half-expected them to come down somewhere else to rip her apart.

“Hells, I-” Astarion stammered, shaking with the realization of what he’d just done.

Eletha remained face-down, a soft sound escaping her lips as she tried to speak.

“Stop. Stop. Don’t try to talk,” he pleaded in a panicked whisper as he dug through his things for a potion. Potions he’d been stealing from her. Potions she’d let him take.

Astarion flipped her over, the sight of her blood tantalizing yet horrifying. The two large punctures on her neck were accompanied by two smaller ones where his lower canines had sunk in too, as well as indentations of his other teeth. Desperately, he pulled out the potion’s stopper with those same teeth and, holding her head up, he slowly tipped the contents into her mouth.

The bleeding stopped. The wounds started to knit back together. After a moment, her eyes fluttered open and she looked around, disoriented.

Holding her tightly to him, he cried into her hair, “I am so sorry.”

“Can’t breathe,” she mumbled into his shoulder. Quickly, he let go. Eletha rubbed the healing bite wound. “I’m fine. Just achy.”

“I… I don’t know what came over me…” Astarion tried to explain, distraught. “I couldn’t stop… I could have killed you.”

“But you didn’t.”

“I nearly did.”

Eletha leaned forward.

Astarion licked the blood off his lips.

Smack! Her head met his in a swift strike.

“Let’s get out of this fucking place so it doesn’t happen again,” Eletha grumbled as she put on her shirt and Astarion rubbed the pain out of his forehead.

“You okay?” Shadowheart asked, clearly spying all the dried blood stuck to Eletha’s neck and chest.

“He always was a messy eater.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

With Halsin’s little spirit friend taken care of and after Astarion’s slip of feral hunger, Eletha suggested that they split up to deal with things more quickly. The next morning, Eletha, Karlach, Gale, and Astarion would investigate Moonrise while the others tied up loose ends and investigated the Sharran Temple further for Shadowheart’s sake.

Eletha’s cold-hearted mask really helped them infiltrate the Absolute’s stronghold with little effort required.

After satisfying their curiosity and freeing the prisoners, Gale excused himself shortly after they arrived at Last Light Inn. While they made sure the Harpers would allow the freed prisoners to stay, he wanted to rush back to camp and make sure dinner would be ready for everyone. They would need their strength in the next few days if they were going to deal with Ketheric Thorm and the Absolute’s army.

“He’s been actin’ weird, yeah?” Karlach asked the others once he was out of earshot.

“Gale’s always been weird, no?” Astarion answered, hands on his hips.

“Mystra did tell him to find the heart of the Absolute and-” Eletha made a sound like a bomb detonating while making a hand gesture that simulated Gale’s magic orb exploding out of his chest.

“We’re not going to let him do that, right?” Karlach pleaded, her eyes big and wet, her hands clasped, her knees bent in supplication.

“Of course not. If we can help it.”

On the way back, Eletha and Astarion talked about the feelings the blood merchant dug up.

“If it makes you feel any better, refusing was pretty in-line with how you used to be,” she told him as he expressed a small amount of remorse for giving up power for just a moment of discomfort. “You’re much too precious to do such a thing.”

“Hm. I don’t always want to remember who I was. But I like the way you speak about it sometimes. Even when you’re angry with him, there is a fondness in your voice.” If only the sky was clear and there were stars in the sky. If only their surroundings weren’t so twisted and dreary. This would be a nice little walk together. “If I called you ‘Lori’, what did you call me?”

“Oh, silly things. Like ‘Princeling’ or ‘Your Highness.’” Astarion smiled to himself. “But you were always my ‘Star,’ even when we were small. It’s hard to say it angrily.”

“It’s odd, thinking you took care of me once.”

“Once? I took care of you for thirty years, now I’m taking care of you again. I used to pick you up and carry you across puddles. I had to be your sparring partner because I wouldn’t hit you too hard.”

“I get the idea.” A moment passed in silence as they walked. “I don’t want to go back. To the Dales, I mean. Not unless it’s to slaughter the lot of them.”

Eletha let out a big sigh. “It’s fine if you want to go back. I don’t have to see them, just find them.”

“They tortured you. Stop making excuses for them,” he growled at her. “Imagine if I said ‘let’s leave Cazador alone, he wasn’t that bad.’ You’d think I lost my mind!”

“I just don’t want you to regret passing up the chance because of me.”

“Our families imprisoned you in your own body and none of the others did anything about it. Good riddance.” More gently he added, “You are the only family I need now.”

“And Gale?”

“What about him?” Her knowing gaze made him roll his eyes. “Fine. I suppose we can have a pet.”

“Speaking of… Where is Gale?” Eletha asked, noting that he wasn’t by the fire with the others.

“Maybe he’s in his tent. Crying.” He said it flippantly, but Astarion immediately made a beeline for Gale’s tent. Not hungry, Eletha followed.

“Good evening! I am here on behalf of Gale of Waterdeep. He wishes to extend you an invitation for a private conversation in a more suitable locale,” the projection outside the wizard’s tent told them genially.

“The hells is this?” Astarion asked Eletha, indicating the projection with a confused little sneer.

“You are speaking to a mere projection of Gale. His appearance, his voice, and a certain measure of his personality-” the projection did a little pose, crossing his body with one curled hand while raising up the elbow of the other, “reconstituted in this case to play as emissary and usher.

“Would you care to join him? What little I could glean from the portion of his mind that is open to me, it is a matter most urgent.”

“Both of us?” Eletha asked while Astarion held back giggles behind his hand.

“This message was meant for the both of you. I even have instructions for if only one of you was present,” the projection explained. “Simply follow yonder path and soon you will find him.”

“We shouldn’t keep him waiting,” Astarion told her with a cheeky little grin.

“Yes, Your Highness,” she answered with a good-natured shake of her head.

“I do like that. Could you do it some more?”

“Don’t push your luck.”

As they followed the glowing path, their surroundings changed into something much more pleasant.

“Someone fancies his illusions,” Eletha said quietly, admiring Gale’s handiwork. 

“I love this time of night,” Gale said wistfully as they approached, staring up at the sky. “There’s an almost reverent silence that accompanies the peak of darkness, when you’d almost believe the dawn will never break.

“The cradle of eternity. The timelessness of lovers. That most beautiful of fantasies.”

“Are you quite all right? Do you have a fever or something?” Astarion asked in annoyance, not really impressed with Gale’s undoubtedly carefully-chosen words. Eletha placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him before sitting down beside Gale.

“I will be, soon. I am perhaps just one hard day away from being without any troubles at all.”

“Don’t talk like that,” Astarion commanded, warning Gale with a stern finger and a furrowed brow.

“This may be my last night alive. I wanted it to be under a canopy of beauty and wonder…” Gale continued without dignifying Astarion’s threat with a response. His eyes, open and honest, regarded him and then Eletha in turn. “... And with company to match.”

“Stop talking like that!” Astarion’s voice had venom in it, but because they knew him so well, they could hear the emotional wobble in it. “Throwing your life away for Mystra is the daftest thing you’ve ever done. I won’t let you do it.”

Gale rose to his feet. “Death is assured. Mystra’s forgiveness is not.”

“Didn’t you hear her when Lae’zel was ready to die for a lie?” Astarion asked, waving a hand at Eletha, who stood again in case she needed to break the two apart. “Gods don’t care about us. Mystra threw you away, even before your little Karsite experiment. She should be asking for your forgiveness.”

“Astarion, leave him alone,” Eletha pleaded, touching him on the shoulder. He rolled it out of her touch and shot her a glare.

“Tell him. Tell him he shouldn’t do it!”

“I…” Eletha looked from Astarion to Gale, whose glower softened just a bit to meet her eyes. “I don’t want you to…”

“It wasn’t my intention to upset you,” Gale told them both quite earnestly, a self-chastising tone in his voice. Their reactions hurt. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go.

“Then what did you intend, Gale?” Astarion asked cattily, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“This is all so difficult to navigate… Harder than any game of chess…” Astarion stopped pouting and started nervously playing with his hands. His eyes went from angry to… scared. “If things were different, if we were home, I’d have taken the time to do things properly. And maybe I’d understand a little better what properly means, in this case…

“That is to say… I’ve grown very fond of you. Both of you. This has been so very complicated, but-”

Astarion grabbed Gale’s head and smashed their lips together. While they were in their heated kiss, Eletha tried to sneak away, a cheekily little smile on her face. Astarion’s hand shot out and grabbed her by the tip of her ear.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, Gale’s arms loosely wrapped around him.

“I really appreciate being a witness to your union, but maybe I don’t need to be here for the whole thing?”

“What part of both did you not understand?”

“No, I understood it.” Gale’s face fell and Eletha stammered, her cheeks turning red. “It’s just- I’m very fond of you too, sweetling, it’s just-”

“I understand,” Gale said, resigning himself to her answer. Astarion gave him an admonishing soft smack on the face.

“No,” he told him, like a master telling his dog to drop something disgusting. Then he turned to Eletha and jabbed a finger at her face. “No. We had this talk. You deserve this. Just say yes like you want to.”

“I…” Her eyes flicked between their faces and she had to look at her feet in embarrassment. “If this is going where I think it’s going…”

“A hedonistic pile of limbs, I’m hoping,” Astarion said devilishly, raising a leg coquettishly.

“Hush. Let her speak,” Gale admonished, sparing him a playful smirk. 

“It’s just that… The last time I crawled into bed with someone, I broke down crying in the middle and went on a three-month bender,” she eventually admitted. “You two should get to have fun. I’m fine. I promise.”

“If there’s any crying, we stop. At least, if that isn’t the game we’re playing. Right, darling?” Astarion looked to Gale, who was giving Eletha his sympathetic puppy eyes, and with a touch of his finger to his jaw, turned his face to him. 

“Of course,” Gale answered quizzically, as if the question was so ludicrous that the thought never entered his mind. Detaching himself from Astarion, Gale took Eletha’s hand in his and gazed deeply into her eyes. “I'm scared too. I don't really know how to do this. But I want to try. With you.”

How could she say no?

She could, of course. If she really wanted to, she could walk away. If it started to go poorly, she could stop.

“We deserve some fun,” Eletha said to herself as much as them. Gale leaned down and met her lips in a kiss, one hand supporting the small of her back. This time he was much more sure of himself.

Astarion huffed playfully. “Now, now, don't hog her all to yourself.”

“I'm afraid I got carried away,” Gale said with a blushing grin. “It's just as well. I wanted to change the illusion to something much more impressive.”

“Oh, Bhin, you don't need to impress us,” Eletha reassured him. Quietly Astarion disagreed with a little “yes he does.”

“We’re not gods.” Once more Astarion argued, muttering, “Speak for yourself.”

The way Gale looked at her made Eletha’s breath catch. Astarion just believed that finally, someone worshiped him the way he deserved. 

“I beg to differ.”

“So we’ve moved on to begging now? I can work with that.” Eletha glared at Astarion, willing him to shut up, but Gale only laughed.

“Maybe another time, when we’ve figured out how this works.”

“Don't encourage him,” she whispered.

“Just summon us a nice comfy bed.”

As Gale focused on setting the stage, Astarion sauntered up to Eletha with a thirsty smirk on his lips. Her heartbeat quickened as he started undoing her armor with expert dexterity. Needing something to do, she offered him the same help.

“Don't be shy,” he cooed, amused by her inability to look at him and the bright flush blooming on her cheeks.

“I'm not,” she insisted petulantly. He palmed the slight heft of her breast through her shirt. When she stepped away from his touch, he chuckled darkly. “You’re not a good liar.”

Annoyed with him, which wasn't new for her at all, Eletha approached Gale, who'd been watching them for a moment with keen interest. As if it was the most interesting thing she’d ever seen, she ran her hands over the sumptuous velvet of his shirt before trying to take it off. He laughed as their height difference became a problem and he had to remove it the rest of the way. 

“It's okay to be nervous. I’m nervous too,” Gale told her sweetly before leaning down for another kiss. 

Astarion came up behind her and placed kisses and playful bites on her shoulder and neck before pushing them both onto the bed. Eletha glared at him over her shoulder. “You're such a brat.”

As if to prove her point, he flicked her away so he could work on undoing Gale’s trousers. Gale rose up on his elbows and the two exchanged passionate kisses while Eletha removed the rest of her clothes by herself. 

Astarion moved from Gale’s lips to his neck, marking his way with kisses and nips while his hands combed through his chest hair, gently squeezing the plush swell of his pecs. Astarion traveled down the wizard’s torso, lavishing it with his mouth and fingers. 

Gale managed to come to his senses and held out a hand to Eletha, beckoning her onto the bed with a smile. “What are you doing over there by yourself?”

“Looked like you two were having fun, I didn’t want to interrupt.” Despite her protestations, she knelt on the edge of the bed within his reach. 

His fingers touched her skin softly, so softly she had to refrain from twitching away as it tickled. Tracing the scars that littered her body, he was enamored by her. In return, she ran her fingers all along his arm and through his hair, gazing into his eyes deeply.

A shocked little moan escaped his lips as Astarion stopped teasing him and finally wrapped his cold wet mouth around his cock. Under his tongue, he could feel a rush of blood make it that much harder.

Astarion had to find some way to not shut off, just like how Eletha had to find a way to not psyche herself out or Gale needed to figure out how to not treat them like Mystra. It would creep in from time to time, their little internal battles. 

Astarion pictured the look on Eletha’s face as she’d sucked the life out of him, how proud and interested she was in making him feel so good. So he focused on that. 

When Gale’s other hand tangled itself in his curls, he smirked around the hot throbbing cock in his mouth, knowing that he was doing a good job.

Of course, Astarion always took pride in his work. He was very good, after all. He readily boasted about it. But it would occur to him that he never really took pride in it as he was working. 

This was different. This was real. He wanted to do this over and over again, to learn exactly what drove them insane, how much he could tease before they had no choice but to cry out his name in ecstacy.

Red eyes flicked up to see if Gale was watching his performance, only to have Eletha’s ass take up most of the view as she straddled the wizard’s face.

“Come here,” he’d whispered without Astarion noticing, his voice husky with desire. A deft flick of his fingers summoned a mage hand that helped him guide her while his other hand was busy reassuring Astarion that he was appreciating his attention.

New to this sort of thing, even after all the years she’d lived, Eletha gingerly swung her leg over his body and knelt above him so she could see only his eyes when she looked down between her breasts and over the slight bump at the bottom of her stomach. 

As the mage hand caressed her neck, Gale placed his free hand on her thigh. It traveled up slowly, tracing the peak of her hip bone before rounding back to the curve of her backside. He gave it a few gentle squeezes while the mage hand came down over her breasts, mimicking the same motion.

Then he moved his hand so that he could lightly run a finger up the inside of her thigh, causing her to tremble. Delicately, he found the start of her slit and pressed his middle finger against it, not so insistent as to part it, but enough that he could feel her body react to his touch.

Gale’s mouth fell open in a soft moan and he could feel her shudder as his hot breath washed over her skin. His fingertip brushed up and down a few times. He watched as his mage hand ran trails down her stomach and when it paid special attention to her lower belly, she broke through the haze of pleasure his fingers were creating to smack the magical hand aside.

“Don’t be like that,” Astarion chided, his slicked hand giving Gale’s cock a few more languid strokes as he approached the head of the bed. “I think it’s delicious.”

Kneeling in front of her, he pulled her into a passionate kiss. Gale’s finger finally pressed into her folds and became slick as it tested how receptive she'd become from his light caresses. 

Eletha’s mouth opened with a surprised gasp and Astarion took this opportunity to slip in his tongue. The thought of mixing their spit and the taste of Gale’s cock sent a thrill up all their spines.

Eletha found balance by holding on to Astarion’s shoulder as her other hand trailed down his torso. He let out a soft little whimper of pleasure against her lips as her fingers wrapped around his half-hard cock.

Meanwhile, Gale slid his finger slowly in and out of her, pressing against different points to find the right spot to focus his attention. As a second finger joined the war effort, Eletha’s mouth pressed into a tight line against Astarion’s lips as she emitted a strained hum. He almost asked if she was okay when she rolled her hips down into the source of pleasure again. 

Using his nose to reveal her clit, Gale breathed in her scent with a satisfied groan before swiping the swollen bundle of nerves with his hot wet tongue. He knew that he was doing a good job as she tightened around his fingers and her juices filled his mouth. 

All the while, she stroked Astarion’s needy cock with one hand and clung to him with the other as his attention on her neck threatened to leave bruises. After a few minutes, Eletha had to lift herself up on shuddering thighs.

“Is he that good, my love?” Astarion asked her teasingly with a smug curl to his words, holding her up so Gale could slip out from underneath her. 

Eletha came back to her senses and pushed Astarion back to fall amongst the pillows that Gale had conjured. Eyes full of desire, voice hoarse from restraining her own pleasure, she said, “Why don't you try for yourself?”

“I would enjoy returning the favor.” Gale wiped his face clean with the back of his arm, gazing at Astarion with the same hungry longing that he offered Eletha.

“I wouldn't dream of saying no,” Astarion replied with a smirk, parting his knees as an invitation. 

Gale slid between his legs, crawling like a panther stalking its prey. Starting at the knee, he kissed and bit a trail up his inner thigh until he found his still-hard cock. 

Astarion’s spindly fingers wove into the gentle waves of Gale’s hair as his head bobbed up and down. Letting his own head fall back, giving his neck a chance to relax, he focused on the sensation of Gale’s masterful tongue swirling and flicking and swiping. 

His sensitive ears twitched at the guttural sounds of him throating his cock. Gale gasped for air and groaned hungrily as Eletha joined in the fun. 

Rolling his hips to be perpendicular to the bed, she enthusiastically lapped-up the mix of juices leaking from his cock. His tongue and fingers had pushed away her uncertainties and now she felt almost drunk. 

Every shift of her legs and every pulse of his cock in her mouth made her whine and shudder. Gale spared a hand to place on her head, play with her ears, while she clawed at his soft peachy ass.

Astarion lifted Gale’s head up with a gentle tug of his hair and the blissful look on the wizard’s face made his cock twitch with excitement. “You’re doing a marvelous job, beautiful, but I’d like to try something else.”

“Whatever you desire,” Gale responded in a husky voice.

Arranging them like furniture, Astarion set the next scene. 

Sitting up, Eletha was able to more easily swallow Gale’s cock. Kneeling in front of her, he had no choice but to cry out in a needy groan as he felt himself slide into her throat. His hands stroked her face, running along the line of her jaw, or holding the back of her head. Eventually, he was rolling his hips forward, very slightly at first and then picking up the pace, fucking her mouth.

Meanwhile, Astarion was between her legs, slipping two fingers into her greedy cunt without resistance while his tongue attacked her clit. He could feel her squeeze involuntarily as his lips sucked and his tongue lapped. 

When she spread her legs, giving him better access, he managed to add a third finger. Even in his position, even with the slutty sounds Gale was making, Astarion could hear Eletha moan. Gale’s legs shuddered as the sound undoubtedly sent pulses of pleasure up his cock, lodged in her throat.

Astarion was definitely excited, this was definitely fun, but he seemed to be the only one capable of a coherent thought at the moment. For now, this would have to be his show.

Ceasing his ministrations, he encouraged the two of them to decouple. “Sorry to ruin the mood, but this next bit is going to require some… consideration.”

“Y-yes… That is probably wise…” Gale agreed, trying to catch his breath. Eletha, collapsed into the pillows, only managed a weak nod.

“Being the god that I am, I could do this well into the morning. I am assuming you” he pointed to Gale with a finger after licking it clean “have some sort of magical stamina.”

“Oh yes.” Gale smirked confidently. “I built up a well of endurance that allows me to climax multiple times, with only a short refractory period, allowing me to-”

“Yes, yes, we get it,” Astarion interrupted hastily, even though that was some tantalizing information… “That leaves us with the princess over there.”

Eletha managed to open her eyes. Slightly embarrassed, she said, “I’ve always been sort of… one-and-done.”

“You poor thing,” Astarion cooed sympathetically, offering her a cheeky pout. Pretending to give it some thought, he asked, “So, why don’t you two have a little moment, hm?”

“I’m surprised, I assumed that you would want to go first…” Gale said, not exactly arguing, but he had thought about this at some length.

“I’m actually being very selfish. If this goes sideways, I don’t want to be the one to start it,” he explained flippantly, adding in a little shrug.

Actually, he was a bit scared, but he wouldn’t admit that. Scared of what it might do to him, or to her, to be wrapped around each other again.

Gale chuckled softly in the back of his throat, a knowing half-cocked smile on his lips as he looked from Astarion to Eletha. With gentle but strong hands, he grabbed her by the waist and brought her down out of the pillows so Astarion could have a better view.

Kneeling between her legs, he kissed his way up her body. Finding her breasts with his mouth, he gave a nipple a few experimenting sucks and flicks of his tongue. Her rough hands wandered over his sides, his back, his arms. 

Gale took a moment to gaze into her eyes, shrinking the world to just the two of them. Eletha’s breath hitched. To be looked at in such a way…

As if understanding her thoughts, he lightly kissed her lips. She responded with more insistence. Gale lowered himself so that his impatient cock could rest against her wet cunt. With gentle rolls of his hips, he rubbed against her clit while they kissed sloppily, slicking his cock in the process.

Cock poised to enter her, he broke away to gaze down at her once more. Clearly, but sweetly, he told her, “I love you.”

This seemed to shock her a little. Gale was thankful he said it, made it obvious, and that her response was, “I love you, too.”

Locking their lips together, Gale finally slid into her, interlocking their bodies. His moan intermingled with her gasp as he felt her tighten and she felt the sudden fullness that his cock brought her. They stayed like that for a few heartbeats, kissing passionately as they gave themselves and each other a moment for their hearts to calm down.

Astarion watched with an equal mix of curiosity, hunger, and jealousy. The sickly-sweet way Gale made sure his partner was ready, the longing looks in their eyes, the honesty of their words… It was more than he ever could have imagined for himself. Would they do that for him, when it was his turn? Was he truly more than just a thing to be used?

On the other hand… Despite the fact that he’d insisted Gale go first, Astarion still felt a flare of anger to see someone else enjoy and please his former love. Eletha belonged to him.

His hand slipped down to his cock and started stroking it with a languid pace, ghosting over the shaft and tightening his grip as he passed over the head. Self-pleasuring had never been of interest to him, he was always too busy pleasing others to keep them distracted. But watching the two created a rare mood in him. Speeding up to keep time with Gale’s thrusts, he imagined how it would feel when it was his turn. Gale certainly seemed to be enjoying himself.

Gale lifted his head and sat back on his haunches as Astarion approached. The vampire took hold of his bearded face by the chin and smashed their lips together in a mess of open-mouthed kisses. He pulled away with a hungry smirk on his face before leaning down to playfully bite at Eletha’s pale breast, leaving a slight mark that claimed her. 

“Perhaps we should give our princess a little rest?” he suggested, giving her clit a little stroke that made both Gale and Eletha shudder, thus proving his point.

Eletha sat up on one elbow to bring her mouth around Astarion’s cock. While she eagerly licked and swallowed, her other hand worked Gale’s shaft, slick and thick from pounding her throbbing cunt. 

Kneeling on either side of her, Gale and Astarion battled for dominance with their mouths. Gale intertwined their fingers, reassuring him with light strokes of his thumb. Eletha switched between their cocks, one gripped in each hand.

The two broke away, Gale panting. He smirked. “I would offer you my neck, but I’m afraid the taste of my blood would sour the mood.”

“I appreciate the sentiment.” Leaning back, Astarion released Eletha from her duties. He swept back what little hair she managed to let grow and with a gentle smile that would have surprised him if he could see it, he asked, “Would you like to be lost in one another again, my love?”

When this all started, Eletha was worried that just being around them would bring her to tears. She felt reassured when nervousness was replaced with elation, lust and desire warming her whole body. But the ultimate test was always this moment, when the really old memories would replay themselves in real time.

Eletha looked up at Astarion and, at the sound of his loving words so honest and open, she could feel her chest tighten.

“I want to be lost with you,” she answered, forcing back the involuntary rise of fear.

With him. Him, not the young man she lost.

Gale graciously sat back to observe, admiring the way the two looked at each other. He couldn’t decide if it was the unsureness of new love or the deep connection of something old and true. Either way, it was enviable in its beauty and passion.

Astarion first buried his face in her neck, taking in the scent of her sweat mixed with Gale’s. Feeling her quickened pulse just below the skin, he wanted to bite into her, not only to drink, but to make them as whole as possible.

Eletha wove her fingers into the hair at the back of his neck and whispered against his ear, “I love you, my precious Star.”

Astarion’s voice wavered as he whispered back, “I love you too.”

With one smooth stroke, he entered her, eliciting a small gasp from her lips. Despite just accommodating someone of Gale’s size, she felt like a perfect fit.

He expected to employ his usual suave moves. Instead, he rutted and groaned, clawing and clutching at her, desperate to crawl inside her and die all over again. The effort of resisting the urge to either sob or go blank almost drove him crazy. It finally hit him that this wasn’t about Cazador or survival. This was a give-and-take, not just give.

It was a little too much and, after a few minutes of kissing and thrusting, he had to remove himself. 

When he leaned back, Gale was behind him, his strong arms grabbing his waist before snaking up to his chest, peppering his neck with bites and kisses all the while. 

A light chuckle brushed against Astarion’s ear before the wizard asked, “Might I make a suggestion?”

“Do tell,” Astarion answered sumptuously, slipping his protective sex-god mask on for just a little bit. Just long enough to come down from the emotional overcharge. 

Gale offered the instructions with his deep resonant voice, his cock pressed into the cleft of Astarion’s ass. 

Astarion laughed suggestively, spying Eletha out of the corner of his eye as he stroked Gale’s beard idly. “Do you think our little pet can handle any more?”

“Surely she has more strength than that?” Gale answered, sending her a smoldering smirk as his hands wandered over Astarion’s pale, lean body.

Eletha looked to the sky like a dying man resigning himself to his fate before closing her eyes. After offering up a silent prayer and strengthening her resolve, she said, “I am yours.”

“Oooh,” Astarion purred. “Our fearless leader at our mercy? What a treat.”

With Eletha kneeling on the bed, her hands on its edge, Gale stood in front of her while Astarion took position behind her. 

Taking hold of her slim backside, Astarion spread her glistening cunt with his thumbs. Placing his cock in the space he made, he bucked his hips, rubbing against her and slicking himself again at the same time.

At the side of the bed, Eletha opened her mouth to accept Gale’s cock once more. With gentle strokes, he pet her head and offered her his admiration with his wide smile. “You’re doing a marvelous job. You look so beautiful.”

Gale slid a hand over her back towards Astarion. After slipping into her once more and giving her a few good thrusts to establish a rhythm, he held her ass with one hand while the other met Gale’s, the tips of their fingers playing with each other. If they could have managed to lean toward one another without awkwardness, they would’ve interlocked their lips instead.

Saliva coated Gale’s cock so thickly that it dripped down his balls only to be lapped up by her tongue when she took him down to the base. Being wedged between them, Gale’s reassuring words in her ears, Astarion’s hand occasionally giving her ass a light smack of encouragement, her cunt was so wet that it squelched and gushed with every thrust.

An unrestrained moan rose up from Astarion’s chest and out his throat as he desperately increased his pace. A similar sound, with a little more base, came from Gale. 

Later, Eletha would be impressed at their timing, but in the moment, all she felt was the pulse of their cocks as Astarion filled her cunt and Gale her throat. Her breath came out in ragged gasps as they pulled out. 

“Stay there,” Gale bid her. Astarion sat to the side, panting, and watched as Gale took his place behind her. Sitting with his knees pressed into the bed, he spread her open and watched, nearly breathless, as Astarion’s cum started to drip out. 

Not letting a drop go to waste, he wrapped his lips around the entire mess, fucking her with his tongue to lap up the precious liquid. Eletha shuddered and mewed and tried to get away, but his strong hands on her backside kept them connected. 

When he could find no more of his prize, he let her go, and she collapsed onto her side.

“You’re not done yet, are you, sweetheart?” Astarion asked, pulling playfully on her ankle.

“I need a minute,” she answered, breathless, closing her eyes to keep the world from spinning.

“I suppose I can allow you to rest a moment,” he said with a roll of his eyes and a little scoff. More devilishly, he added, “But don’t think you’re getting out of here before the grand finale.”

“Don’t tease her so much,” Gale chided him with a smile and a tap on the nose.

Eletha had to vacate the bed as the two started to play-wrestle and curled up on a comfortable sofa that Gale had, at some point, thought it prudent to summon out of thin air. There she watched them fight and bicker, all in good fun, until Gale was on his stomach and Astarion’s face was pressed in between the wizard’s plump ass-cheeks.

Kneading them like dough, he worked his tongue around the quivering ring of nerves nestled there and occasionally gave the sensitive skin behind his balls a firm, wet swipe. It wasn’t long before Gale was whimpering, hiding his face in a pillow and rutting a little into the bed.

“P-please,” he begged pathetically, his toes curling to ease some of the tension coursing through his body.

“If you insist.” Astarion stuck a finger in his mouth to coat it with his spit when a jar poofed into existence next to him. 

He picked it up and unscrewed the lid to find a semi-liquid substance. It was odorless, tasteless, and had a consistency much like the juices he’d just wiped off his cock. No matter how much he rubbed it between his finger and thumb, this lubricant kept its slick nature instead of becoming tacky and irritating. 

“Wizards. What else are they hiding?”

“Are you going to fuck me or not?” Gale called out in annoyance, wiggling his ass insistently, rubbing his impatient cock against the bed.. 

He was so fun when he was annoying. Probably how Eletha looked at him for all those years.

Astarion coated his fingers in the magical stuff and carefully pressed one into Gale’s needy hole. He watched as the wizard shuddered from his touch and his cock pulsed with a sudden orgasm. Gale was so lost in bliss that he didn’t care that he was rutting around in his own cum. Groaning with wild abandon, working on instinct, he came again as Astarion worked a second finger into his ass.

“What a delightful magic trick. Come for me some more, my sweet. You make such lovely sounds,” Astarion commanded sweetly, excited by Gale’s pliance under his touch. The poor man’s cock pumped out two more loads before he decided that he was ready for his turn.

While Astarion readied himself, Gale broke through the haze and reached out a bidding hand to Eletha. Astarion had assumed she was comatose on the sofa, exhausted from being worked by their tireless bodies. But she attentively got to her feet and approached the bed. 

Gently, Gale took hold of her wrist and tugged her forward. With a little guidance, and a magic word to clean up the mess he’d made, Gale had her lie underneath him in such a way that he could easily kiss her.

“I missed you,” he told her with a fond smile, his voice husky and deep.

“How could you miss me with everything going on over here?” Eletha asked, chuckling softly, shy from his little touches. Even Astarion getting her feet out of the way felt intimate. Gale lingered over her, like a brave protector shielding her from harm with his body.

“I’m quite capable of thinking of you both.”

Gale’s head snapped back with an animalistic growl of pleasure as Astarion’s cock finally slid into him. Even the rocking of their bodies from the vampire’s precise thrusts sent shivers of excitement up Eletha’s body.

Gale’s mouth attacked every part of her he could reach as if it might be the only thing standing between him and death. As he panted in ecstasy over her body, his saliva dripped down onto her face and into her awaiting mouth. 

She could feel his hot cum coat her stomach and before it could cool, Gale guided her hand to collect it on her fingers and then brought the hand to his mouth so he could clean it with his tongue. Eletha could feel her cunt throb at the sight and he didn’t need to ask her again to feed him his own cum.

Astarion grabbed Gale by his hair and pulled him back a little. Then he held him by the throat and pulled him back further, until Astarion could press his forehead into the wizard’s sweat-slicked back. Feeling his own intense climax approach, he took hold of Gale’s cock and stroked it in time to his thrusts. 

Gale placed a gentle hand on his forearm and the simple intimate touch drove Astarion over the edge. He groaned like a feral animal as he filled Gale’s ass with his cum. With an orgasm much more powerful than the last few, Gale released his own on Eletha’s stomach. Thick strings of hot white cum even made it as far as her breasts and throat. As soon as Astarion released him from his grip and cock, Gale got on his hands and knees once more to lick her skin clean. Cum-drunk, he collapsed on top of her, covering her with his sweaty bulk.

Astarion wanted to say something witty, but he was still coming down from a high he didn’t know he was capable of achieving. And after watching Gale work, he had to come to terms with the fact that maybe he did have some things to learn…

“I want you to ride me,” Gale told Eletha when he could manage the words. His hand slipped down between her legs and ran over her swollen clit before sinking into her sloppy cunt. In her ear, he explained the fantasy he’d been playing out in his head for a while now. “Use me. I want to see how beautiful you are when you come on my cock.”

She had to come up with an answer, but she was too distracted to come up with something a little sexier than just, “Okay.”

That was enough for Gale and with one deft movement, he swapped their positions. He teased her with the head of his cock, gathering her juices as he ran it through her slit, rubbing her clit, just barely pressing it into her waiting entrance. 

Feeling left out, Astarion knelt behind her. Having cleaned himself off, he pressed his chest against her back, his dexterous hands wandering her body. Her pulse thrummed like a war drum under the skin of her neck, calling out to him. With his nose behind her ear, he whispered, “May I taste you? Please?”

Eletha managed a hum and a nod, trying to fight back her orgasm just a little longer. Much more gently, more sensually, Astarion pierced the delicate flesh of her neck and let her blood flow into his mouth. Its vitalic zest washed over his tongue and he moaned in the back of his throat, making Eletha shudder. 

Finally lowering herself onto Gale’s eager cock, she whined as it spread her open. Appreciably thicker from his heightened excitement, it stretched her cunt even further than before. Ignoring his own instructions for just a moment, Gale thrust up into her, eliciting a cry of pleasure.

As she started fucking herself, bouncing on Gale’s lap and rolling her hips, Astarion settled one hand on her hip and the other over her clit. Once he understood her rhythm, he slipped his fingers to either side of the bundle of nerves, pressing it between them, and started stroking, fingers curling and straightening in time with her thrusts.

Eletha flung her head back, making beautiful music as her cunt squeezed Gale’s cock so hard that he was briefly concerned that she might actually do some damage. He groaned in abject pleasure anyway. 

After all the teasing, cock-sucking, and thrusting, she couldn’t last long. Astarion’s voice in her ear didn’t help one bit.

“Show us how much you love us. Come for us, my love,” he commanded her sweetly, eyeing Gale from over her shoulder.

Astarion’s hand slipped from her clit as she pitched forward. Hands clutching Gale’s strong shoulders, Eletha ground her hips into his with all her strength, rubbing her throbbing clit against him while his cock stroked a very sensitive spot inside her. Gale forced himself to keep his eyes open so he could watch her face as she climaxed and he filled her cunt with a seemingly endless supply of cum. There was so much of it that it gushed out with his thrusts, even with how closely they were joined.

On shaky legs, she let him slip out and rolled to the side, collapsing on her back, covered in sweat, unable to control her breathing. As Gale found her hand with his own, Astarion decided to take this opportunity to move between her legs. With a hungry look and a lick of his lips, he purred, “My, what a mess we’ve made of you, my sweet.”

Without further ado, he swiped his tongue through her cunt, catching the cum dripping out. She shuddered and whimpered as he feasted on the delicious stuff, fucking her with his skilled tongue in the process. With one last twitch, she pleaded, “I can’t take it anymore.”

“You did wonderfully,” Gale reassured her as Astarion honored her request and moved on to licking Gale’s cock clean. The wizard pressed a kiss to the back of her hand before sitting up. Running a dry hand through the vampire’s curls, he chided playfully, “Haven’t had enough, hm?”

“That looked fun. I want my turn,” Astarion replied, lips curled into a smirk as Gale’s cock managed to come to life in his lubricated hand once more.

Without any arguments, Astarion sat in Gale’s lap, draping his arms over each shoulder as he started a battle of lips and tongues. Feeling ready, Astarion lowered himself onto Gale’s slick cock and felt his own twitch as he moaned against the other’s mouth.

Gale wrapped one arm around Astarion’s waist and snaked the other up his back to hold on to his shoulder, helping set the pace. His ego set aside, Astarion buried his face in Gale’s shoulder as his hips bucked and rolled, finding the perfect stroke to hit just the right places.

“That’s right,” Gale whispered in his ear, so calm and collected for someone who just came so hard that, if Mystra hadn’t stabilized the magic bomb in his chest, they and everything within several miles would’ve been turned to dust. “That’s a good boy. You’re doing so well.”

“Mmm, Gale,” he whimpered, biting off the urge to tell him to shut up. His words of encouragement actually made him feel even better, despite thinking it would distract him. 

Mewling, he bounced on Gale’s cock harder, desperate for a final release. Tears slipped from his eyes as he cried out, clutching Gale for dear life as he painted his lover’s torso with cum. Gale grunted softly as he spent his final orgasm in the fluttering comfort of the vampire’s insides.

“Oh no,” Gale breathed in shock, suddenly aware that Astarion was trying to not outright weep. Then he noticed Eletha clutching a pillow over her face to muffle the sounds she was making. Gale made gentle shushing noises as he started to take charge of the situation. “It’s okay. You’re okay. We’re alright.”

With a flick of his hand and a few practiced words, everything and everyone was made clean and fresh. Lying between them on his back, Gale gathered Astarion to one side and Eletha to the other, cradling their heads in the dip between his shoulder and chest. A warm, soft blanket materialized and floated down, covering them with a reassuring weight.

“I’m sorry,” Eletha managed to say eventually. “I got overwhelmed.”

“You needn’t worry about that,” Gale told her gently, placing a kiss on top of her head. Astarion said nothing, but he could feel his cold hand rest on Eletha’s arm, both of them lying across Gale’s stomach. “What matters is that we all enjoyed ourselves.”

In response, the two of them nuzzled his chest.

That was good, because if either of them had expressed regret, it would be Gale’s turn to break down into tears. For now, smothered in their collective embrace, he could rest easy.

After a few minutes, Eletha’s stomach growled. It was honestly monstrous in its tone and intensity.

She flushed and buried her face in Gale’s armpit.

“You forgot to eat, didn’t you?” Gale asked with a chuckle, amused but a little annoyed, but only because he didn’t like it when people neglected their basic needs.

“How could I?” Eletha argued, removing herself from the pile of limbs so she could find her clothes. “With your cute little mirror image telling me you had something urgent to talk about.”

“I suppose I should have added an instruction to advise you to at least have a snack…” Gale scratched his beard, mulling the oversight.

Gale tried to sit up, only to be pressed back into the bed. Astarion put more of his body on top of Gale’s, trapping him. “Just a little longer.”

“If that’s what you want,” Gale answered, letting the tension out of his body. 

Eletha got dressed and gave them both a kiss before rushing off back towards camp. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

No one was around when she got there, so she settled by the fire and served herself. Ravenous, she took a few quick bites before slowing down to appreciate Gale’s good work.

“We were a little worried about you,” Halsin remarked with a smile as he approached. Eletha blushed and looked away, embarrassed. “I could not help but hear some of your more unrestrained sounds.”

“Corellon strike me dead, I don’t know if I can face the others if they heard. It’s one thing if they think they know what was going on…” She stuffed some of the stew in her mouth and regretted it as her sore throat had trouble swallowing it down.

“You were gone for quite a while, but you have returned alone…”

“I was starving.” Her voice was hoarse and she chuckled, which didn’t help. “I’m afraid of what tomorrow brings. I might not be able to walk.”

Halsin beamed, one of his genial laughs making her stomach flip. “Satisfaction suits you. You are practically glowing.”

“Satisfied? I suppose I am.”

“It is okay to admit that you are not, if that is the case.”

“It’s just… a lot. And I have a lot of questions. Like, will that ever happen again? How often can it happen without it killing me?” Halsin placed a hand on her shoulder and muttered some healing words. She sighed in relief.

“I can imagine that it’s a difficult situation, given your past and future. I regret to say that I do not have any good advice. My fancies have always been… fleeting.”

“It’s kind of you to try. I’m sure we’ll figure it out, if we don’t die in some spectacular fashion…”

“Oak Father preserve us.” Adding to his prayer, he said teasingly, “Including your poor insides.”

“Yeah. I think we might have to give ourselves tomorrow off.” 

She glanced up at the sky, considering its impenetrable darkness. 

“Besides, I’m feeling a little… hot under the collar, so to speak.”

[yourlocalbigtittyedbitch]

Danger

A human Quaritch x Gender neutral reader

Hc's of this fucker starting to fall for you

Warnings: a whole lot of flirting, the old man getting jelly,

synopsis: you're this flirty person who has a bit of a big ego. you're this merciless fucker too, and have a habit of showing off the goods.

------

When this fucker saw you walkin' in with you swaying your hips just right, and with that buttoned shirt half way undone, he knew you'd be troublesome.

When you introduced yourself to him, he gave you a quick glance up and down your body, he had to hand it to you, you where attractive. So he decided to play along with your little game.

As you two got to know each other. You always grew bolder with each action. Starting with a hand touching his back softly, before dragging it across his side before pulling away.

"Y'know.. you're quite attractive for an old man" he scoffed. You where leaning against a table with your arms crossed, as he had you caged against it "old? Well, this old man still has some moves." He joked as he grabbed your chin with a hand and smirked down at you.

One time you hooked your arms around his waist before murmuring something in his ear, before slipping the folder you had between his belt and pants. Then just pulled away and walked away, acting like nothing even happened, leaving him flabbergasted with a hue of pink dusting his cheeks

If he saw someone flirting with you, and if you where uninterested. You'd flip them off, but if they touched you? You'd pull out your taser and shock them before walking away. How in the ever living fuck did you get a taser?? (Remind him not to piss you off)

He definitely would get soo fuckin' jealous if you and a freind of yours where jokingly flirting with each other. (Why am I thinking about Lyle gettins his ass beaten when I'm typing this-)

If you have a avatar, you'd totally mess with this man and say shit you know you'd definitely regret

"your so small Colonel,"

"Watch what your tongue, before you regret it (Y/n).." he shot you a glare,

"Maybe I will when you get on my level. Shortie," you had this shit eating grin plastered on your face, little did you know. When you get back into your human body he'll be waiting for you,

"Is that spot taken?" You boldly asked

"No, it isn't-" before you let the man finish, you walked closer to him, sitting down onto his lap. Your shoulder leaning into his bicep, he took this opportunity to hook an arm around your waist, as a smirk crossed his lips.

"A little bold there ain't you, cupcake?" His voice sent chills down your spine, a faint pink blush dusting his cheeks

How did you meet? Well, it all started when...

"Oh my God! I'm so gonna fucking beat you Lyle!" You yelled at your best friend, Lyle. He had grabbed the folder you where holding, and held it above his head "why don't you make me then (y/n)? " you tried to jump up and grab the folder from him, but he moved it to his other hand. Pulling away, you glared at him "I will kick you in the dick again! I won't hesitate you dick-wad!" You threatened him, as his eyes darted to something else, and that smirk of his dropped "why don't you give it back to the little lady?" A gruff voice spoke from behind. You where wearing a pencil skirt and a buttoned shirt, so you weren't surprised that he called you a lady. Turning to face him, your eyes met his. "And who are you?" You quirked an eyebrow up at him "Colonel, Colonel Quaritch." Thats when you realized thats who you where supposed to give the folder to, so when Lyle was distracted, you snagged it away from his grasp. Shooting him a glare. While he playfully scoffed at you, you then handed Quaritch the folder

"I was told to give this to you. So here you go!"

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