#just random fucking thoughts yelled into the void at 1 am

[softandwildx]

Honestly can't believe I ever thought I was straight with how much I hyperfixated on Rachel Hurd Wood growing up. Peter Pan 2003 was 100% my bi awakening.

[charcubed]

Listen. I'm going FUCKING. INSANE. because it seems like almost no one on the internet gives a shit about Shy Baldwin/Reggie Harris from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, which boggles my mind because like ???? they're in love?????? and their relationship is so compelling??

And what we see of what becomes of Shy's story is so tragic obviously but to me it also hints at potential for him and Reggie to maybe someday get out of showbiz and be together. And from what I can tell, no one in fandom TALKED ABOUT THISSSS when season 4 came out!!! What the fuck!!!!! This is maddening!!!

So. I'm making this post mostly to get this off my chest and as a yell into the void. Because maybe somewhere, someday, someone else will ALSO be searching tumblr to see even a glimpse of content about these 2 exceedingly compelling characters, and I will write this so that I save that person the despair of coming up empty-handed like I am.

I'm also gonna drag other people down with me if anyone who hasn't seen this show happens to be curious enough to read this, so in that vein, I will cover some basics to outline this. Because I want to TALK ABOUT THEM despite most of this being obvious and no one giving a shit, Goddammit!!

(Spoilers or whatever I guess but who cares)

This is Shy Baldwin. He's a singer (clearly) and canonically a Black gay man who (obviously) has to hide his sexuality because this is set in the 60s.

This is Reggie Harris, Shy's manager and longtime best friend.

This is how Reggie introduces himself:

Let me tell you what kind of manager I am, Susie Myerson and Associates. I've been looking after Shy since we were kids tossing rocks in vacant lots. We was running numbers for Stephanie St. Clair before we were ten. When he found his singing, I collected the money, kept him out of trouble, kept people from bumping him. I'll be at his side when he draws his last breath unless I get there first. I would lay down my life for him. That's what's going on here. You hear me?

–3x02, "It's the Sixties, Man!"

In episode 3, they casually sing "Is You Is or Is You Ain’t My Baby" together just for fun.

INSANE harmonies. And their flirty banter in this whole 1 minute long scene makes me want to eat my own arm.

Anyway... hold those thoughts.

So, Midge Maisel (the titular character) is the opener for Shy on tour with her comedy act in season 3. The show reveals in episode 3x06 that Shy is gay, in a scene where Midge finds him bruised and bleeding because he hooked up with a guy and it went sideways. Shy comes out to her as part of his explanation, and she helps cover up the bruises on his face with makeup so he can get on stage that night.

That leads to him doing a sitting "stool set" with slower songs because his ribs are fucked so he can't stand/dance, and the unsubtle song the show has him sing is "No One Has To Know."

The clip isn't even on Youtube, which is indicative of how much I'm suffering with how under-appreciated Shy's storyline is, but you can listen to the song here or on Spotify.

No one else can tell I think you're beautiful No one else can tell You're my favorite view Let the world all think what they will I'll wait until they're through 'Cause no one has to know I need you No one but you

^^^ Literally the whole song is like this / about being gay but that's a piece of it.

Shy looks at Reggie as he sings.

Thankfully Tumblr user microclown made several GIFs. Here are two.

KILLL MEEEE

Clearly, obviously, this is deliberately not subtle. Everything telegraphs that Shy is in love with Reggie.

Now, considering wider context of Shy hooking up with a random man etc., one could be forgiven for thinking it's meant to be seen as unrequited love... but I really don't think that's the case. I think there's a delicious undercurrent of angst that ties into how Reggie tells Susie (Midge's manager) at various times throughout the season that their job is to make the hard decisions on behalf of their clients, and Reggie references making hard decisions on Shy's behalf or for Shy, because his job is to do what's best for Shy even at the times Shy doesn't like it. So... are they in love and Reggie tries to keep them from properly being Together to protect Shy? And/or does Shy think his love is unrequited at this point? Lots of room to play there.

So now comes the part that no one's talking about!

More explanation: season 3 ends with Midge being very straight and very white as she does a comedy routine in which she makes way too many cheeky references that out Shy as gay on stage if you know gay-related coding/lingo. There are Reasons why she sort of panics and does this, and the audience loves her jokes, but that is very much Not The Point. She's fired from the rest of the tour as a result–rightfully so.

In season 4, it's announced that Shy is suddenly getting married to his longtime girlfriend and it's totally a publicity stunt 🙃 Midge and Susie are invited to the wedding... but not by Shy; by the team of straight white dude management who stepped in to control Shy's every move in the name of "helping him to stay on the straight and narrow" to keep his career on the rails. Midge's fuck up gave them the opportunity they needed to control him. (Shy and Midge end up reuniting in a bathroom at the reception but we won't be unpacking that conversation and how I disagree with how Midge leaves things between them).

So the suits invite Midge and Susie to the wedding so they can escort them to a side room and have a meeting with them, and they try to pay them off to sign an NDA. (Midge declines for them both, saying she will keep her silence for the sake of Shy, not for the suits.) Come to find out that that management team also forced Shy to pay off / fire his entire band–who were shown to be like family to him throughout the tour in season 3–and also forced him to pay off / fire Reggie.

LOU: Look, he's a good guy, Reggie. I like him. But he's too close with Shy to control him. There's too much history.

...

SUSIE: Reggie got Shy to where he is now. You realize that?

LOU: Reggie's taken care of. Big severance. We threw him some publishing. He's buying a house in Westchester. Everybody's happy.

SUSIE: Oh, I bet. 'Cause when you think Reggie, you think Westchester.

–4x05, "How to Chew Quietly and Influence"

Here's the obvious thing: Shy and Reggie clearly had no choice in this matter.

There's no way in hell that Reggie would have left Shy willingly. Absolutely no Goddamn way in hell. Whether he's in love with him or not, Shy is "his boy" (his words, repeatedly) and he said "I'll be at his side when he draws his last breath unless I get there first." That was his character introduction! Holy shit!

But here's my hot take: I DO think Reggie is in love with Shy, and I do think he intends to keep that promise of being by his side as much as possible. And I'll tell you why.

At the wedding, Shy sings a short excerpt from his new single to his new wife:

Come close to me, baby Cool as the river When you're here in my arms Manhattan's getting dimmer I know it sparkles, too But city lights don't shine as bright as you

Once again the clip is not on Youtube and I am suffering.

There are a few more lines from the song in that episode referencing Paris and Rome (where Shy and Reggie and the band went on tour in season 3...), but it's a piece of a longer song. We thankfully have the song in full, here or on Spotify:

And in the episode, Shy says on stage that the song was written by Reggie.

"You just heard a little of my new single. And it's a special one because the lyrics were written by my boy Reggie Harris. Which is fitting because that man's been putting words in my mouth since we were kids begging his grandmom to buy us ice cream.

–4x05, "How to Chew Quietly and Influence"

This makes me FUCKING FERAL.

Especially because of the lyrics in the full version of the song... which, as it turns out, is all about giving up fame and the spotlight to be with the one you love.

There are hidden lyrics in the full track that are meant to actually be in between the shortened ones we hear in the episode. The lyrics from the full version that Shy doesn't sing at his wedding are as follows:

I’ve had the spotlight Been bewitched by wealth and fame But I’d give up that hot light Just to hear one special someone Call my name

...

I could search the world over Go as far as a man can roam But nothing I’d see Would mean nothing to me Like the vision of you when I’m coming back home Baby, you are my home

Buildings may rise And reach for the skies They twinkle and flash But they won’t ever last Like the beauty in your eyes

Whatever they may do Those city lights won’t shine as bright as you

Reggie wrote this song for Shy. He literally wrote this song for Shy. Shy says it himself! And Reggie's not in attendance at Shy's publicity stunt wedding because the suits are keeping them apart for now, but he's in Shy's heart, and Shy chooses to sing this song and share that backstory about the lyrics because they're each others' home in secret.

I can't handle it! I can't FUCKING handle it!!!!!

Like are you SERIOUS!!!! And in the episode where the suits say Reggie took his severance pay and went and bought a fancy house? BITCH. If he even actually did that (and didn't just claim he was doing it to fly under the radar), then he bought a house so Shy could one day join him there because ???? "You are my home." Ohhhh myyyy Goddddd ;___; A song about giving up the spotlight to be with the one you love........ I have connected the dots. Just wow.

So yeah I'm literally going insane. I LOVE them. I've been thinking about this for like 2 weeks and no one gives a shit but I love them! They are important to me and every part of their subplot is so compelling and makes me so emotional!

There is fic about all this that's in my brain and outlined in my google docs and if I ever write it I will post it on AO3 for the maybe 2 people who will care someday. But yeah.

WHERE is their spinoff!!!!!!!! Jk I don't want it because I don't trust they'd be handled properly. However, I am manifesting even a crumb of information about them in season 5 because Shy Baldwin is my son and I would like any kind of hint he and Reggie manage to eventually orchestrate their happiness <3

If you actually read this post, thank you so much for indulging me. I had to get this off my chest, okay, I'm losing it.

I love them and they're in love. That is all.

[strangertheories]

Over a week ago, the Season 4 Episode 7 script was released by Deadline. It's fully legit, even retweeted by writers. I have not seen enough people talking about it so here are some highlights.

Firstly demobats being referred to as fuckers in the official is so funny to me. I was not expecting Eddie in the official script to be quote "shish-kabobing the fucker" in reference to him killing a demobat.

As well as this Erica is referred to as a "fucking ninja!" which is so iconic. I'm glad the writers know how cool she is too.

Now I am not a St4ncy fan, no offense if you do ship it, but the quote "there are bigger problems than sexual tension." is hilarious. The writers and I seem to have the same attitude towards their relationship; uh oh.

Other beautiful quotes include Nancy landing on the concrete pool being described so eloquently.

The following quotes are less funny but are interesting to me so I thought I'd share.

For example, Nancy holding her hands out in case Robin fell was improvised! Natalia proving herself as the number 1 Ronance shipper yet again. Also improvised: Maya Hawke refering to Robin as the guinea pig.

Also the Eleven/Vecna fight was a reference to the circle test! Did not work out that parallel to be honest.

Finally, the, in my opinion, very funny line saying Dustin's tone was his issue was improvised by Joseph Quinn! Good for him, it really elevated the scene.

Hopefully this was amusing and informative and not just some random Tumblr user yelling into the void (: no Byler in this post obviously as the Cali gang weren't in the episode.

[clovcherry]

SHU FOR THE STARS!!!! [1]

pairing: shu yamino x f!reader

t/w: inappropriate language, drunk dude tries to hit up reader, attempted physical assault against the reader, strangers to lovers au, slowburn, fluff at the end!

a/n: its a series guys 😎

"what's up sweet cheeks?" a young man who seemed to be in his late 20s, wearing a suit that was seemingly unkempt, his tie was barely hanging onto his neck. his flushed face wore a shameless smile, probably proud of the fact that he stumbled upon a young woman.

the pungent scent of alcohol reeked your senses. the night was near dead silent, the sound of the wind breezes through the night sky. the stars that twinkled in the moonlight stood in all its glory. it would've been a peaceful night stroll if it wasn't for this drunkard.

"you're blocking my way," you spoke through gritted teeth, feeling the anger starting to rise inside of you.

it didn't help that the park was pretty much empty, it was void of people. you were starting to regret going on a stroll at 1 am in the morning.

"don't be like that princess, I just wanna help you out," the man slurred his words, clearly out of it.

"i'm not interested," your patience were running thin, with your hand gripping tightly on your phone, ready to use it was a weapon if he were to get physical.

he let out a nasty chuckle. of course he would laugh, what else would anyone expect from a completely drunk man thinking he could just try to hit on a random girl at midnight.

seeing as speaking to this guy was getting you no where, you decided it was for the best if you would just turn around and leave. you couldn't help but to feel fearful, you didn't want this drunk stranger to know where you live. not only would it leave you paranoid it would kill you will to even go out.

you spun on your heel, turning away from the man. before you could even take a step, you felt your wrist being pulled on.

"you think you can just walk away from me, you bitch," he hissed, fingers tightening around your poor wrist. you turned to him, frustration tugged what was the remaining of your logical thoughts. you saw red. you were holding back all your negative emotions from your horrible day, to being unable to sleep at night and then finally meeting some drunk bastard at 1 am when you just wanted to go on a relaxing walk.

"who the fuck do you think you're talking to?" you raised up your free hand, with one swift movement, you slapped him across his face with the pent up anger you had boiling inside of you.

your slap left his face facing downwards his right. creepily, he slowly turned to face you. you backed off a few steps, heart pounding against your chest as the look that he gave you would probably be engraved in your mind for the rest of your life.

"the fuck do ya think you're doing, you fucking whore!"

the loud stomping of his feet, you knew what was coming. you froze in fear, your mind was spinning, it was telling you to move, to run. but your body betrayed you, you were paralysed by the fear. it had then dawned on you that if anything were to happen, your last moments would be with this sick man. it shook you to your core.

he raised his balled up fist, the shock finally brought you back. you were out of options, you shut your eyes, raising your arm to block your face. bracing for the impact. it was all you could do not in this situation, or at least it was all you could think of.

"w-who the hell are you?!" the drunkard yelled out.

confusion flooded your mind. slowly, you opened your eyes, lowering your arms that were once covering your face.

what stood before you was another man dressed in the weirdest clothing, probably something you'd only ever see in some crazy anime. but you had to give it to him, he had a ripped back and don't even get me started on his arms. the tall man held the drunkard's wrist in his arm, a sly smirk plastered across his face.

"fuck off you-" his voice was cut off.

as if he casted a spell, the man who was once harassing you had completely vanished into thin air. you let out a loud gasp, unsure whether to feel thankful for what just occurred or afraid of what's was to come next.

with widened eyes, you looked around with much concern filling your heart. it would thaw at your heart if you were the cause of someone's death.

"don't worry, it was harmless," the mysterious stranger turned towards you. you stood dumbfounded by his enchanting visuals. something about his electric violet eyes that stared into yours, the exotic clothes that he adorned made him even more mesmerising.

"are you okay?" he asked, handing you a bottle of water as the two of you sat on a bench. you shot him a weak smile, mumbling a thank you before grabbing the bottle from his hand.

you both sat in silence for a moment.

"what did you do to him?" your voice a little strained from the traumatising events from earlier.

"just a little sorcery."

you looked over at the stranger, a smile still sat on his lips as he sat calmly beside you.

"thanks for helping me.." you trailed off for a moment, contemplating whether to pop the question or not. "who are you?" finally deciding to ask him the real question, he turned to you with a surprised expression on his face before it switched to a smile once again.

the two of you exchanged names, learning that shu yamino was his name, you laughed a little thinking that this was all a dream.

"so you're a sorcerer?"

"I hardly even know her!" shu chuckled at his own joke, you let out a giggle of your own, already taking quite a liking to his humorous personality.

"I'm probably dreaming huh, but for a dream it was pretty traumatising," you joked, shu stared at you for a moment before lifting his arm up and pinching himself.

he let out a yelp from the pain, "I don't think we're dreaming," his laughter that rang in your ears which built a warm fuzzy feeling in your heart.

once again, silence filled the air. shu glanced at you, watching as you stared into the starry sky. almost as if there was a twinkling in your eyes, he smiled. your lips curled upwards, turning towards the sorcerer.

"it's getting late," you got up.

shu stood up as well, "let me walk you home?"

"sure."

[levis-hazelnut]

Summary: when you and your best friend, Hanji, were younger, you had made up stories about your dream guys - what they would look like and how you would meet. What happens when the one you had made up appears to be real?

Warning(s): mentions of abuse (if you squint). Please do tell me if there are anymore.

Taglist: closed

Status: completed!

part 1 > part 2

series masterlist

(a/n: i love mikasa, she’s a queen. But I’m sorry because she’s gonna be a bitch in this lol)

"(Y/N)! (Y/N)! (Y/N)! (Y/N)!!!!!!!!" Before that call, I was peacefully eating lunch with my friends and didn't wish for any interruptions from my crazy, loud best friend. I was just sitting there with some of my calm friends that I was in the mood for; quietly speaking about life, no stress, no laughter, no loud talking - just nice conversation. Other times (most of the time), however, I would be in the mood for my best friend, wanting laughter, craziness and loud talking. But this wasn't one of those times... So why the hell was she here sprinting and screeching for me? "(Y/N)!!!!!!!" "For fuck's sake," I murmured. "What do you want, Hanji?" I asked when she pushed off Connie, who was sitting opposite me, and sat in his place. She leaned forward and caught her breath as her gaze was not at me, but behind me. Before I could turn around, she grabbed my head and forced me to face her which made me frown. "What the hell is going on?" "Okay, so... Remember about five years ago when we would talk about our dream guy and meeting them later in life. And remember when we said that you would find your dream guy in university..."

"Hanji--" "Don't talk. Let me finish the story of the past." *FLASHBACK* With the sun beaming down on me and Hanji as we ate our lunch together on the grass, we stupidly and crazily told each other about our dream husbands. The appearance of my dream guy was based on a character from a show I watched. And because we were still young, horny and stupid, we let our imagination create stories of how we would meet our dream guy. Let's forget about Hanji's and skip to mine... So, Hanji had thought of it with that extraordinary brain of hers. She said that, "We would be having lunch with our new friends, and maybe some of our school ones like Connie, Eren, Sasha, Jean and Armin. Anyway, you would be talking to someone as I sit next to you, quietly eating--" "Hanji, that's already not going to be true. How are you going to be quiet?" "Hush, let me carry on. So, I'll be eating, maybe not quietly, and then I look around the canteen and see him... walking with his lunch in his hand. Standing there in his handsomeness, with black hair, grey eyes, a light complexion, emotionless expression. I don't know what his personality is when he's there, but his appearance is pretty similar to how we imagine him to be. I gasp and smack your shoulder many times to get your attention which you click your tongue at. I point towards him and you look where I'm staring, which is when you gasp as well, trying to find the words but I already know what you're going to say. And we get up and stalk him. As we do that, I spot his keys in his bag and cleverly take them, passing them to you. When he sits down, I tell you to give it to him but you're too shy so I push you forward until you're in his sight. He looks at you and you shyly hold them out to him, saying: 'I think these are yours. You dropped them'. And then he thanks you and you live happily ever after." "... That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. But, if that does happen, then I love you and your brain." And since that day, she kept on adding to the story which made me excited to meet my future husband. Of course, however, I knew this story of hers wasn't going to come true, no matter how young, horny and stupid I was. *END OF FLASHBACK* "Yes, Hanji, I remember that. But why are you telling me this?" "You idiotic fool! He's right there behind you!" "I swear, if you're lying--" "I'm not, I'm not!! Just look!" I slowly twisted my head to see the man I've wanted to marry for many years. Was he really there? Is Hanji just playing a prank on me? I took a deep breath and looked to see who she was talking about... And there he was, exactly how I had imagined. Well, maybe not exactly, but extremely similar. "Hanji, you already know what we're doing?" She vigorously nodded as both of us got up and raced towards him, and then slowed down when we got closer so we don't look like weirdos or creeps (which we technically were). He was holding no bag, but luckily, Hanji saw his credit card in his back pocket and somehow got it without him realising.

I never knew how much I loved her until this moment. This mysterious, kind of magical man sat down on a table with two of his other friends. But I could care less about them. Taking a deep breath, I tapped his shoulder and he looked up at me with the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. They may have had no shimmer or emotion in them, but they still entranced me. I didn't realise I was staring for too long until he spoke, "Are you just going to stand there and look at me, or actually say something, brat?" Maybe those weren't the first words I expected to hear, but at least it was something. His voice was deep and velvety and void of any emotion and I wanted to hear him speak more. It probably wasn't even that attractive to other people, but this was someone I had made up in my mind and he's right here in front of me, so I'm going to fall in love with every aspect with him. "Oh, sorry... Um, you dropped this," I said quietly and held out his card to him. He lifted an eyebrow at first before taking it from me, his fingers skimming my skin as he did that. "Hey, are you okay? Why do you keep staring into space like that?" "Uh, yeah, I-I'm fine. Just a little tired. Anyway, um... I'm going to go... eat my lunch. Bye." "Thank you, by the way, random person." I laughed lightly. "(Y/N)." "Thank you, (Y/N)." "So--" "Hey, (Y/N)!!" I mentally rolled my eyes when my name was called and my best friend appeared beside me, throwing an arm onto my shoulders. "What do you need, Hanji?" I murmured. "I just wanted to know who your new, little friend is. Looks like you were having fun." "Um, no. I just gave him his card since he dropped it." "Oh, so you're best friends now! Why don't you sit right next to him and have lunch together?" "Hanji," I said in a tone for her to back off. But she carried on anyway, pushing me onto the seat next to the man. "I'm so sorry about her. She's... insane." "I can tell," he said, eyeing both of us up and down. We were both definitely going to be the weirdos he should stay away from. "Well, you can go--" "(Y/N), I think you should stay! You seem like a delightful person!" the girl with pigtails opposite me squealed and I smiled at her. "It's nice to make new friends," a blonde male next to her stated with a polite smile. "Let her stay, Levi." "Oh, it's fine. My friends are probably wondering where I am," I stated, turning to find Hanji, but she wasn't there. "Shit," I mumbled. "What's wrong?" "Oh, nothing. I mean, I literally just came to give him his card and now I'm having lunch with you three. It's kind of weird." "'Him' has a name," he muttered bitterly. "It's Levi." "Sorry, Levi." I want to marry you, Levi. "You can leave now if you want." "Uh, yeah, I should probably go," I said and started to get up. "No, stay! Levi, you can't just push someone away!" the female with green eyes scolded him. "We barely even know her." "So? It's good to meet nice people and become friends." "Tch. You two can do whatever you want, then." "Maybe I can join you guys for lunch another time. Looks like Mr Moody doesn't want company." "Mr Moody?" he repeated and lifted an eyebrow at me. "You just met me and you're giving me that nickname?" "Uhh... I'm going to go now." "Bye, (Y/N)! I'm Isabel, by the way, and this is Farlan." "Bye, Isabel, Farlan. It was nice talking to you." I got up without addressing the raven-haired male and made my way back to my table, huffing as soon as I sat down. "I messed up bad," I complained to myself, causing the bald male beside me to inquire what happened. "It's nothing. Just me being stupid and childish to think that I'll magically be able to become some gloomy guy's girlfriend." "Who is this 'gloomy guy'?" "It's (Y/N)'s crush who's sitting right over there with that grinning girl and some other guy!" "Hanji, just forget about it. He hates me." "I've never seen him before," Connie stated, taking a secret glance at him. "We just saw him today as well." "And he's already your crush?" "Basically--" "Hanji, we promised that we won't tell anyone," I snapped. "It's stupid and I never want to talk about it again." "I mean, it's not really stupid if he's real. It could just be your fault because you were nervous and acted awkward around him. But then again, it could be my fault because I kind of forced you to sit next to him. Maybe I should let you do it your own way. So, for once, (Y/N), I won't get involved. I don't want this chance to go." "I doubt you'll be able to keep that promise." "I will! I don't want you to be annoyed and depressed forever. So you do whatever you want. And you can slap me if I get involved in the tiniest way." "Okay. Thank you, Hanji." "I'm still so confused," the baldie said. "Maybe I'll tell you one day, Connie. Maybe when I make progress." "Okay--" "Oh my god!! I just realised - he's actually real and right there!" I suddenly yelled, causing the canteen to quieten as students looked at me with confusion. "Ugh, I'm such an idiot. I need to stop making a fool out of myself. Did Levi look at me, Hanji?" "No. But he obviously still heard you." "God, I just want to die..." ~/~ Thanks to my roommate, I had to rush my morning routine and miss breakfast since I had to run to the university, which was about a five-minute walk away. Since I was running, however, it took me three minutes. I was definitely going to give Hanji what she deserves for not waking me up. I stumbled into the lecture hall to find that they had already started. I quickly apologised for being late and found a random spot to settle down and catch my breath. I took my laptop out of my bag and gulped on some water as I waited for it to load. And I soon got to work, focusing on the lecture and not taking notice of the people around me. As I was listening to my professor, someone beside me whispered my name and so I rotated my head to look at them. Act cool. Be calm, (Y/N). Just because you're taking the same course and you're going to see him more than you thought, doesn't mean you can freak out. "Do you have a pen I could borrow?" Levi asked in a hushed tone and I sifted through my clothes and bag to find a pen that he can use. After about a minute of looking, I found one at the bottom of my bag and passed it to him with a smile. He thanked me before both of us got on with our work. I could barely concentrate now that I knew who I was sitting next to, but I still tried my best. Towards the end of the lecture, which seemed like hours, my stomach rumbled and I froze and internally cringed. Why did that have to happen? Well, I didn't have breakfast so I guess it's understandable, but still. Shortly, I was able to leave, so everyone filed out and I packed my things away, slinging my bag over my shoulder as I made my way out. As I was leaving the hall, a familiar, husky voice called for me and I stopped. "You know, for someone that doesn't like people, you sure like saying people's names," I joked. "I was just going to give you your pen back and ask if you wanted to grab something to eat since it sounds and looks like you haven't had breakfast." "Shit, was my stomach that loud?" "I couldn't hear Professor Erwin," he said with no amusement, but something told me that he was just joking with me. I playfully rolled my eyes and let a small laugh escape my mouth before taking the pen from his hand and walking out with him following after me. "Hey, so yesterday, I was kind of in a bad mood which is why I acted like that. Though, I am usually cold and unfriendly and--" "What are you trying to say?" "Let's start over. Isabel and Farlan made me feel guilty, so let's get you some breakfast and know each other some more. All I know is that you and your glasses friend are weirdos." "Well, thank you very much for saying that, Mr Moody. We are weirdos, and we're proud." "Hey, Levi!" "Hey, (Y/N)!!" There were two different voices and two different names being called at the same time, yet they were coming from the same direction. Two sighs sounded when I saw Hanji and Levi saw Isabel. "What did I miss? Why are you two walking together?" Isabel asked. "We're going to get some breakfast. Since you, Hanji, never woke me up," I replied, arching an eyebrow and folding my arms over my chest. "I didn't know when your first lecture was, and I thought you would've put an alarm. How late were you?" "You weren't that late, you know. We started about a minute before you came." "So, I look like a mess and didn't make coffee for no damn reason? Ugh, I'm so glad I have no more lectures today." "Well, I need to head to my next lecture, so I guess I'll see you at home," Hanji smiled before fast-walking. "Me, too. Bye!" "Let's go?" I suggested and he nodded in response. Some words were spoken as we took our time in getting to a cafe that was a two-minute walk away. I told him a bit about myself, but he had very little to say as if he was hiding a shady past or something like that. Nevertheless, I didn't pry. "So you're not only a weirdo, but a perv as well?" "Hey! I'm not a pervert," I pouted, trying to fight back a smile. "It was a dare from Hanji... Though, I don't regret doing it," I muttered. "Perv." "Hush. Eren's ass is perfect to squeeze." "I don't want to know that," Levi said with a hint of disgust as he opened the door to the cafe, letting me go in first. We walked towards the queue and continued our conversation. "Well, if you want to start over and get to know me, then you have to know that I'm a weirdo, maybe a perv, and let's just say that you don't want to make me angry." "So you are a perv?" "Okay, fine. Yes, I am a perv," I announced. "And just like how I'm proud of being weird, I'm also proud of being a pervert." "Are you proud of letting your stomach rumble as well?" "Shut it, Ackerman." "Oh, hey, (Y/N)," the male at the register smiled. "Hi, Eren." I grinned back at him, seeing his gaze on the raven beside me. "This is Levi. I guess you could say we're acquaintances." "This is Eren?" Levi inquired and I saw a certain glint in his eyes. That is when I realised that I had told him I squeezed Eren's butt after getting a dare. Oh, why did I have a feeling that he was going to embarrass me? "Yeah. Nice to meet you, Levi. What do you guys want?" "You go first," I told the male and he nodded. "An Earl Grey, please." "Okay. And you, princess?" "Well, loverboy, could I get a coffee and pain au chocolat?" "Of course. Anything else?" "No, thanks," I replied, searching my pockets for my purse. Then my bag, but I couldn't find it. I bit the inside of my lip and turned to Levi. "I don't have my purse on me. Sorry. I'll pay you back." "You're too broke to do that, princess," he murmured and paid for our food. "Shut up. Thank you, Eren. Thank you, Levi." "No problem. I'll bring your drinks and food in a bit." I shot him another smile before strolling to a table with two seats facing each other. I took a seat, hanging my coat on the chair and dropped my bag to the ground, under my feet. "You and that kid in a relationship or something?" he randomly questioned after there was a moment of silence. "Me and Eren? No, no. We just have that kind of friendship where we act like a couple and call each other names. We don't actually like each other or anything. And he has a girlfriend, well, sort of." "What do you mean 'sort of'?" "It's not a stable relationship. There have been a few problems, and I've tried to tell Eren to just forget about her but he can't. I just want him to be happy with someone that truly cares for him and doesn't cause him any distress. He's come to me so many times just to cry over her." "What's her name?" "Mikasa." "What about Mikasa?" Eren spoke with a slight frown, placing down our things in front of us. "Oh, I was just talking about how she has the same surname as Levi and was wondering if he knew her." "Okay. Well, here's your coffee, tea and pain au chocolat. If there's anything else you need, just tell me." "Thank you." "... You're a good liar." "I'll take that as a compliment. Also, I'm surprised you haven't taken the chance to embarrass me yet." "Embarrass you? Why would I ever do that?" he remarked sarcastically, but obviously my dense ass couldn't sense that. "Because you know which boy's butt I squeezed, and you could expose me for being a pervert. Though, he already knows that I am. Everyone I know knows what kind of person I am." "A weirdo and a pervert," he stated after taking a sip of his tea. "I wonder what other traits you have." I snorted. "Are you sure you want to know?" He gave me a small glance, perfectly arching his brow. I felt as if I've known this person for longer than two days. Probably because me and Hanji have spoken about him for many years now. But, even then, I feel like we have a certain bond. And no, I'm not just saying that because he's the love of my life; I truly think we can create a strong friendship... and then, maybe something a little more. Even though he's a made-up person that became true, I sometimes forget who I'm talking to and just internally scream when I realise. But, seriously, how did this happen? I don't think I'll ever be able to believe that he became true (and maybe one day, I won't believe that I'm marrying him hehe). "Oi, you're spacing out again. Is that a habit of yours or are you just always tired? Or do you have someone on your mind?" "There's no one on my mind, I'm just always tired. Boys can piss off and leave me alone... apart from you, Levi. I love you-- Uhh, I mean, obviously I don't love you. We literally just met, I don't love you. It's just, uh, it's fun to hang out with you. You aren't like others... Ugh, I'm an idiot." I facepalmed the table and refused to look back at the male in front of me. "You aren't an idiot, you're a weirdo. Don't forget that. Anyway, I think we should head out because you look like you're going into a meltdown or something." "Sure. I'm just going to quickly finish my coffee." I gulped down the last few sips and left the mug on the table, thanking Levi for paying. He only nodded as I waved at Eren, who stopped us from leaving. "Could you wait like two minutes? My shift's over and I just want to relax at yours." "Yeah, sure. Levi, you can go if you want. I feel like I'm just dragging you around." "I'm the one that brought you here. I don't care about waiting for a brat." "Brat? He's the same age as us." "Yeah, I know. I just call people that, don't get offended, darlin'." "Darling? What's with these nicknames you're so generously handing out?" "Says that one that called me 'Mr Moody' in the first ten minutes we spoke." "Hey, you said yourself that you were in a bad mood." "Thanks for waiting. Should we go?" the teal-eyed boy beamed and I nodded, hooking my arm with his as he stuffed his hands into his pocket before all three of us left the cosy cafe. "So, where did Levi magically come from?" "He joined my uni yesterday, but we got off on the wrong foot and decided to start over. And since we're both doing biochemistry, he saw my miserable entrance, looking like a mess. And, my stupid belly chose to rumble so Levi kindly offered to get me breakfast. Now, we're just getting to know each other." "She's a pervert," Levi curtly said. "Yeah, that basically sums her up. Along with her being weird, tired, broke and an awesome friend." "You're lucky you added that last one before my fist was in your face." "Oh, she's also an adorable threatener. But, do not get on her bad side because she will be a monster towards you." "Yeah, Levi knows most of this already." "And I already regret talking to you," he teased. "Shut up, Ackerman." "Anyway, I'm going this way," Levi announced, pointing to the left as we were about to turn right. "We don't have any lectures tomorrow, so maybe I'll see you on Wednesday?" "Yeah. Bye, Levi." "See you later, darlin'. By the way, Eren, (Y/N) likes your ass." "Jerk," I muttered before looking at Eren, who just grinned at me. "And that's why you're a pervert." Both of us started to walk again but since I was holding onto him, I came to halt when he stopped in his tracks, pulling me to the side. "Tell me: why are you so comfortable around someone you just met?" "I'm not that comfortable. And you know I'm always friendly to new people." "Yeah, but not like this. What's the deal with you and him.?" "Nothing, Eren. Stop worrying. I'll tell you what this is all about one day." "... Fine. But, I have a bad feeling about him." "Levi? Why? He's perfect. I mean, I don't know that, but his friends seem to be really nice. And you can't get friends like that unless you're nice, too." "If you trust him, I'm going to have to trust you to not get into any trouble." "Yes, yes. Now, stop worrying." Eren rested an arm around my shoulders as we carried on going towards mine and Hanji's apartment. We walked there in silence, but my keys broke that serenity when they jingled against the door as I unlocked it and opened it, allowing Eren to walk in. We both took off our shoes as I locked the door behind us. Eren plopped down onto the sofa as I went to the bathroom to see my reflection. God, I looked like something out of a horror movie. How did people stand to look at me, or even talk to me? But I was home now, so I didn't bother fixing my appearance as I went to the living room and dropped onto the comfortable furniture next to Eren. "I would ask you if you want a drink, but we went past that stage of formality ages ago. Help yourself to whatever." "Thanks, but I just want to rest." "What's up? I know there's something you need to tell me," I said, ruffling his brunette hair like he was a little kid. "... I barely got any sleep last night. I was meant to go on a date with Mikasa yesterday after my evening shift. I reserved a table at some restaurant that has great reviews. So, after my shift, I dressed all nice and left to go to the restaurant. I took the bus and it took me half an hour to get there. She then called me as I walking up to the restaurant, saying she can't make it because she's sick. Obviously, being my stupid self, I just said okay and said that we can postpone our date. However, I was starving so I wasn't going to put that reservation to waste. When I got there and told them about the booked table under my name, they told me there were already some people that took the table, telling them that their name was Eren. I was so confused and looked over at a table, where I saw Mikasa and that jerk: Reiner." "And then you stormed off, went home and cried?" I asked, saying it like it was something ordinary. "... Yes..." "What's this, like the fifth time you've seen her with a different boy? I swear, it's not the same boy every time as well. I still don't get why you don't just break up with her. She doesn't deserve you, she doesn't make you happy, which is what you deserve. I say you break up with her sometime this week." "(Y/N), that's too soon." "I don't care. She's causing you into depression, and I don't like seeing you like this. I haven't seen you be happy once after you got into this relationship. And I don’t want to hear any excuses. You know that you aren't happy with her, so I don't get why you don't break up with her. Is she threatening you or something?" "..." "... Eren?" Shit. Eren, you better say something before that silence gives me the wrong idea. That bitch better not be hurting or threatening you, I thought, biting my lip as I waited for him to speak. "Eren, please say--" Once again, I pulled him into an embrace when he requested it and he quietly sobbed, nestling his face into the crook of my neck. This time, I truly felt sorry for him because he wasn't crying over another wrecked date, or another man he caught Mikasa with; it was something I've never heard about. I still haven't, but his silence implied it. I didn't want to say anything as I got lost in my thoughts. What kinds of things has this girl done to Eren - one of my closest friends? As I was in the middle of pondering, a phone's ringtone sounded in the room. It was Eren's and I didn't know if I should pick it up or not. When I saw the name of the caller, my bitchy side took over and I grabbed his phone which was on the coffee table in front of the sofa. I answered it with a sweet 'hello', waiting for a reply as I continued to hug Eren with one arm. He soon lifted off of me and tried wiping away the tears as he looked at me with an expression that destroyed my heart. "Who are you?" "It's (Y/N). You probably can't recognise my voice since I haven't seen you in so long," I said with fake politeness. "Oh, (Y/N)... Where's Eren, by the way?" "He's in the bathroom. I can take a message if you'd like." "No, it's fine. Just tell him to call me when he's free." "Yeah, like I'd do that, whore." "Excuse me? What did you just call me?" "(Y/N), what the hell are you doing?" Eren whispered angrily so I retracted the phone from my ear and covered the speakers. "Teaching her a lesson. How's she going to threaten you, cheat on you, reject every date, and still have the balls to call you? She's stupid to think that I'm going to let that slide. I don't like her, and neither do you, so I'm going to invite her here and you can talk to her." "(Y/N), please don't do this. I know you're doing this for me, but I don't know, I just can't break up with her. Even after everything she's done." "Eren, this is for your own good. You're always depressed and tired because of her. You need to let go and be free. This isn't how you're meant to be enjoying life." "... Fine. Bring that bitch over here." I smirked. "Good." I brought the phone back to my ear. "Sorry about that--" "What are you going on about? Why did you just call me a wh0re?" "If you want to know, come to my apartment. You know where I live. You can see your precious boyfriend as well." "I will. Because no one talks to me like that." She cut the phone and I passed Eren's phone to him. I got up and gave him some tissue to wipe his face that had some snot and tears. "Hey, I'm kind of nervous." "That's normal. Anyone would be nervous if they were about to break up with someone. Though, I feel bad. Did I just force this onto you?" "It's fine. I'm glad I'm finally getting it over with." "Also, was she threatening you?" "Yes..." "I would say you should've told me, but that was obviously something you couldn't say since she would do something. Damn, she's some messed up girl. Sorry. But I just had to say that." "No, I understand. I don't even know what I saw in her in the first place." "Don't beat yourself up about it. Everyone makes mistakes and you're going to learn from this for your next girlfriend. First of all, if she cancels a lot of your dates, break up with her. Second, if she cheats on you once, break up with her. And third, if she barely talks to you, or tries to avoid you, break up with her." "Okay. Thank you, (Y/N). I'd literally run back to her every time if you weren't here." "No worries, love. Just helping you with your problems." "Well, let me help you with yours, baby girl. What's on your mind? You've been acting a little distracted." "Mm... I guess I'm thinking about Levi..." "What's so special about him?" "... All right, I'm going to tell you this. But don't tell Levi, or anyone, because it's a stupid thing me and Hanji made up." "What happened to trusting me all the time? You always told me everything." "Yeah, but since you got with Mikasa, you've been a little occupied. Don't worry, though, you're still my second best friend," I grinned at the statement I had said years ago when I was around ten years old. I then changed the subject and told Eren about what me and Hanji created in our young, horny and stupid minds. "Wow... That's actually crazy. You guys never thought he was going to be real, but damn... Still, I don't think you should trust him too much. To be honest, that guy's suspicious, even supernatural if he was just someone made up." "That's what I was thinking. But, half the time I forget that he was someone I dreamt about. I feel like I've bonded with him before and we're just catching up with each other's lives." "I understand. But, unless he proves to be completely normal, don't get too attached to him." "Okay. And, it's been about twenty minutes since Mikasa hung up. I think she's going to be here soon. Do you know what you're going to say?" "Kind of. I've been thinking of a breakup scenario for a while, but I was never able to make it happen." "Hey, me and Hanji made up a guy and he happened. I think you can make this breakup happen; I believe in you." "Thank you so much, (Y/N). You honestly don't know how grateful I am for you." "Whenever you need me, I'll be here." I heard the buzzer echo through my apartment, meaning someone was asking for an entrance. I shot a glance at Eren before getting up and walking towards my front door, answering the phone and speaking a confident 'hello'. "It's Mikasa." "Oh, it's you," I spat with disgust. I pressed the button for the main door so she could come in and waited a couple of seconds before opening my front door. She barged past me, and I muttered: 'Never met someone so rude'. My bitchy side was locking in again and I locked the door before following her into the living room. Eren was now standing up, appearing as bold and someone who was ready to break up with Mikasa. "Eren, why did she call me a 'whore'?" "Well, is she wrong?" he pointed out.

[kkusuka]

I have a cool request :3 Hawks, Eraserhead, Dabi, and (Idk of you do other characters like Bakugo) with an s/o that has a black barn owl quirk. She’s an intelligent, sweet, and quiet person since said owls act like that. In human form, she has large eyes for night vision and looks cute as hell,sharp talons when she flexes her hand, can flap her arms to make wings appear, can fully turn her head all the way around and tilt it upside down, and can chirp when excited or screech when pissed. She can turn into a giant owl and carry multiple people and can ram hella hard into people/walls to inflict damage. Owls may be cute but they can be scary as hell with their loud screech and when a shadow covers their eyes enough to look like black sockets.

I’d love head cannons of these guys reacting to her turning her head all the way around when they call her or when her eyes become black sockets when she becomes pissed enough

i love owls SO MUCH

and i write for literally any character lol

i had fun doing this one <3

Hawks

This is love at first sight, as he claims you “flew down from the heavens”

He immediately wanted to see anything and everything that you can do

From the first time he saw them, he was hypnotized by your wings

They were so beautiful

During the beginning of your relationship, he would make you fly along with him to do the most random things.

Apparently, a sleepy Hawks is a forgetful Hawks

So when he called your name to ask if you had any food for him, and you turned your head a whole 180, he screamed like a child

He thought he was having a bad dream where everyone was a demon, he was so panicked that he called Endeavor

It took 5 minutes for it to hit him, you had an owl quirk

Owls can do that, yeah you were swarmed with apologies for the next hour.

After that, he truly thought he knew everything about you and your quirk!

You couldn’t surprise him with anything!

Yes, you actually could, and he learned this when he watched you add one of your “closest”  friends argue

That was an entire experience of its own

He’ll be honest, seeing your eyes go completely black was kinda scary at first and the screeches you let out were hurting his ears at first

None of that compared to how hot he thought you looked, and knowing his Babybird had a backbone was even hotter ;)

Aizawa Shouta

You two probably were paired up for a rescue mission and hit it off almost instantly

I am a firm believer that is he liked cats, he likes the nocturnal bunch

It’s just how that works

He already thought you were totally impressive when you sprouted wings

But you looked even cooler caring 6 people to safety, on your first trip

After that, he was just “really curious” about what you could do

As in he wanted to get to know you better

After figuring out you could turn fully into an owl, he wanted to play a prank on class A

Hw would take you to class in owl form, and then in the middle of class, you would turn back!

The prank got a good scare out of most of the class, then Deku started with the questions, you were a pro hero after all

You even demonstrated how your head moves sound and how you use your talons without hurting civilians

Needless to day Tokoyami enjoyed it

Having an owl quirk, you didn't focus much of your time on combat, but you couldn't stand by while villains hurt innocent civilians

This was the first time not only Aizawa saw you pissed, but it was also almost everyone's first time seeing you pissed

And damn, you were terrifying

But you did prove yourself to be someone villains shouldn't mess with

And from then on, Aizawa couldn't wait to see everything else you could do <3

Dabi

He thought you were fucking cool

You had met on the street, where he was bleeding, so you flew him to your apartment and sewed him up

He interrogated you about your quirk for like 3 hours before trying to recruit you to the league, you really didn't have anything else to do so you agreed

And that began the reign of terror, you were powerful and you were “not that hard to look at”

And you were the perfect person that he could use to prank the other members of the LOV

Aka Shiggy

He didn't tell anyone what your quirk was, so when he brought you he had to sit next to Toga at the end of the bar

While he sat next to Shigaraki on the couch behind you

You can see where this is going right?

He called your name, made sure Shiggy was looking, and you freaked him the fuck out

He scREAMED-

He threw his game controller on the floor and looked away

So from then on Dabi was convinced you were perfect for him

He did anything he could to make you squeak and squeal, he never tells you but he thinks you sound so cute!

You were also his break-in buddy! The second he found out you could break down walls, the two of you were practically inseparable

Everything was going amazing!

Until he got badly injured in a bar fight with some random men, and that was the first time he had ever seen you so angry

You had grown your talons and your eyes were void of color, it was scary

Usually, he liked when you squealed but you just sounded so angry, the only thing that calms you down was promising that he wouldn’t do it EVER again

He’s just really obsessed with you at this point, so he isn't going to let you go anytime soon

(or ever)

Bakugo

He was yelling in the hallway, as usual, and he saw you turn your head to look at him

And he was really confused, like reallllllyyyy confused

And after questioning (threatening) other students about you, he decided that you were a threat to him becoming number one

And he couldn't have that, so he cornered you in a classroom after class one day, he hadn’t even said anything before he found himself unable to speak

Why?

1- you had let out the most adorable squeal he’d ever heard in his life

2- you were waaaay prettier up close then you were from afar, and even then you were petty

This guy was frozen for a minute before demanding your name and any known fact about your quirk.

This lead to an exchange of numbers and eventually a clearly romantic friendship

He was entranced by how your quirk, and just you in general

But this is Bakugo, he’s hot-headed and protective, basically, he treats you like a doll

This leads to arguments, and at that point, you were totally pissed at him!

You had shut him down!

He didn't want to say it but you looked kinda cute when you were angry, BUT HE WAS LISTENING TO YOU

And he did lighten up, but he still riles you up to see you like that, it makes him feel like his sweet little baby could make herself so scary

And that just makes him even more sure that you two are perfect for each other

[itwoodbeprefect]

decided to just compile a bunch of comments about my sga 1x01 rising rewatch into a single post because i don’t actually want to make a hundred posts in a row, so here, under the cut, many rambles:

announcer guy does, in fact, speak english upon a second attempt. well done on not forgetting to not speak german, announcer guy.

“i’m afraid of the thing” elizabeth says, about the drone chair, while standing next to it and looking like she wants to fuck it

rodney in that orange sweater! very orange! very warm!

john is on screen. john’s first words are helicopters he knows how to fly. john KINDA LIKES IT in antarctica. john has barely done anything and i already feel like crying a little bit about this guy who LIKES ANTARCTICA because he just wants to fly

POOR CARSON when he almost kills two people. “ai told ya ai was the wrong pursohn” :(

i really love how john sees the drone coming at the (landed) helicopter and yells “get out!” and they throw open their doors and john JUMPS and then it’s just “ugh.” and he’s belly-down on the floor and still like, almost under the helicopter. an attempt was made, for sure. just not a very succesful one.

the way john looks around like he’s never seen a ceiling before when he enters the base is just. very funny. and then some guy in particular is looking at him because he’s a bit of a weirdo and john looks back and the guy sort of looks him up and down and john looks away as if to check if anybody saw that. hmm.

john’s face of “oops” after he sits down in the chair and it ACTIVATES and carson RUNS OFF to go get literally everyone and john is realizing he MAY have just made a very giant big mistake. PRICELESS

teyla: my people have long believed the wraith will come if we venture into the ancient city. sumner, when the wraith come after he ventures into the ancient city: [surprised pikachu face]

gotta love how john insisting on saving his people is what wakes up the wraith, and saving his people is also what landed john in antarctica in the first place because he tried it in afghanistan once before. which wouldn’t have happened if there hadn’t been an american war in afghanistan in the first place, which there wouldn’t have been if bush hadn’t thrown the us into it, which wouldn’t have happened without 9/11, so... bin laden woke the wraith?

on the other hand john would never have had to go on a rescue mission on his first day in pegasus if sumner hadn’t gone into that city against the wishes of the people that already lived there and had a history dating back thousands of years with the place, so more realistically, the expeditions’ colonizer mentality woke the wraith. and then they just kinda... kept going with that for the rest of the show, because it worked out so well on that first day.

anyway i’m not even there yet - puddlejumper! it jumps puddles!

have to love the moment john realizes the puddlejumper is pretty literally reading his mind and giving him anything he can think of that is within its power (so no turkey sandwiches, but that’s okay). john is already in love with it just based on the fact that IT CAN FLY AND GO FAST (“i kinda like it here”, restored) but then all the ancient technology just seems to know him and love him back and gives him way more than he even thinks to ask for. which, for john, who doesn’t really do well expressing desires? a FLYING SHIP that then READS HIS MIND? starstruck. love at first sight. john&puddlejumper, instant bffs. i bet it would have popped a compartment with some stray bits of wire if he’d asked for a friendship bracelet right then and there. ford sitting there witnessing this doesn’t even know how hard he’s thirdwheeling it in that moment.

now i am at the bit where sumner is taken from the wraith prison to see the actual wraith, and look, obviously they’re evil and feed on humans etc etc, but this particular wraith’s sense of dramatics? unparalleled. she has them bring her victims one by one to a large foggy room with a looong table set with a wonderful dinner and then she LEAVES a DEAD BODY sitting at the head of the table (implied to be the athosian that was taken before sumner?) and drops down from the ceiling while sumner has his back turned for no reason except the spectacle of it all, and dracula himself literally couldn’t have made a better display out of this. it’s maybe scary in the way that it makes clear she’s a cat toying with a helpless mouse before she eats it, but it’s also hilarious in the way that this is absolutely a very bored immortal being who had to stay up while the rest went to sleep and is inventing high school improv plays with her dinner for some diversion. don’t play with your food, wraith queen. you’re scaring your dinner.

life signs detector!!! ford didn’t get to name the puddlejumpers gateships, but that one stuck, no matter how much “we can name it later” john was trying to throw at it!!!

(god. there’s a ficlet somewhere in there about season 2 john having a moment where he realizes he’s on the hunt for ford using the thing they first discovered together and that ford gave its name.)

getting sidetracked here, but when john and ford find the group of humans caught by the wraith teyla goes “major!” and it makes me think that. well. how are the athosians supposed to know things like “major” and “colonel” are military ranks? what are the chances the pegasus galaxy uses the same designations? (don’t really know how the language thing works here - we’re hopefully not supposed to think they’re all speaking english, are they? i’ve never watched sg1, there’s probably lore about this, i assume. maybe alien titles somehow get perfect translations to earth ones and vice versa.) but i mean, teyla is too smart, she’d have it figured out already even if those words don’t exist in her galaxy, but some athosian somewhere is going to be very confused by this earth tendency to name way too many kids private and lieutenant, and then put all of them into the army. strange, to have your job decided for you at birth like that. earth people are weeeeird.

fjdkl john is like bye, gonna go find colonel sumner all on my own, run if you don’t hear from me in twenty minutes, and ford’s like “you’re the only one who can fly these people out of here” and “i’m saying i should be the one to go, sir” and john, with his savior can’t-leave-anyone-behind-gotta-do-this-personally-or-i-will-literally-die-from-not-almost-dying complex DOES NOT LISTEN to ford’s EXTREMELY ACCURATE objection. which is his right, as ranking officer, but is also a perfect showcase of why john Should Not Ever be in charge of atlantis, and why sam saying he was totally on the shortlist when she takes over command in s4 is funny but frightening if you’re on atlantis and like being alive.

sumner: “we travel through the stargate as peaceful explorers.” FDJKFD. god, that line, from that character, hilarious.

rodney comes to elizabeth full of enthusiasm about all the interesting stuff they’re finding in the city only to find her staring at the empty gate and when she says she should never have let them (the rescue party) go, he sobers up and says awkwardly “for what it’s worth, you made the right decision” and that’s GOOD that’s KIND.

back on the planet with the wraith everyone is running to the jumper while there are wraith darts whizzing through the air and teyla turns back, catches up with ford who was told to cover their six, disarms him (because he was firing at illusions, revealing their position), hands him back his weapon, pulls him in the direction of the puddlejumper, and PUSHES HIM ASIDE when they’re almost scooped up by a wraith dart, and i’m so here for teyla being allowed a moment of heroics that saves specifically ford, guy with a gun, and not a random athosian damsel in distress. teyla is fully on their level. teyla is perhaps above their level. thank you.

that scene at the end of this episode!! in which there’s a sort of party on atlantis and it’s all buzzing and relaxed while the athosians are mingling freely with the expedition members and they’re talking of friendship and ugh. UGH. there’s a better version of sga in an alternate universe where the expedition didn’t decide atlantis was totally theirs, actually, and they cooperate with the people that were already in the galaxy when they came there and learn from sumner’s mistake to actually respect what they have to say and form a single front and teyla takes over as head of the expedition in s4 when there’s a void left by elizabeth’s absence.

final thought that has always haunted me a little: john suddenly becoming the ranking military member on atlantis after sumner’s death is ?? one of those things where i wonder what the sgc was thinking in their personnel assignments. john wasn’t even supposed to BE THERE. if john hadn’t gone and sumner had still died (which was something they should have considered as a possiblitiy! they didn’t know what they were walking into at all! sumner is apparently the type to lead his own missions!), then what exactly would they have done? i don’t know much about how the us military operates but i’ve watched enough mash to have figured out the order of the ranks and it just seems. very odd to me? to take one (1) colonel on this mission and then ZERO lieutenant colonels OR majors (if john hadn’t stumbled his way into it, that is). like, are there any captains on atlantis? (i think there are?) or would ford, a lieutenant, have ended up ranking military member? this is like the surely-they-only-need-a-single-medical-doctor-right thing. WHAT IS THE SGC THINKING.

anyway. this was good. i liked this. i hadn’t rewatched the pilot in a while, and i only just now figured out how much of a while, because there was a bunch in here i didn’t remember. ON TO EPISODE TWO.

[mourntheantagonist]

Billy Hargrove’s Exploration of Beauty

| part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 |

Part 6: Split Ends

also on ao3

***

It all happened so fast. Like he blinked his eyes and he went from behind an ice cream counter to a hundred feet below ground level. Tied up to a chair in front of his coworker who he had barely even known. Who he was beginning to like. And despite being told after the fact that whole days had passed, his little vacation didn’t feel so long. Having been blacked out and drugged out of his mind for the most of it. It was quick to be over with. Could have almost have been excused as a fever dream.

The events following his escape went by fast too. Coming up to the main floor only to find out that they might have just been safer underground. Hearing news of the mind flayer being back just went in one ear out the other.

Finding out Billy was among the flayed. That stuck. But he hid the fear. Suppressed it. Because they didn’t have the time to dwell on that.

Driving up to Cerebro felt quick. Considering he drove like a bat out of hell, that wasn’t that hard to believe.

Slamming into the side of the Camaro. He had his eyes closed for that one. But it went by fast. It had to. “It’s not Billy” he had chanted in his mind.

Everything was quickly paced. Moving from one thing to another swiftly. Nothing felt like it had dragged on.

Until he was up on that balcony.

And he watched as the mindflayer skewered his boyfriend through the chest. It was all slow motion. Felt like watching a movie that would never end. Watching as it went in and out. Tearing flesh and breaking bone. Collapsing to the floor with a loud thud that echoed throughout the mall. Lying there motionless. Bleeding out onto the disgusting mall tile. Dying. He was dying.

He’d later hear from Robin that when he was up on that balcony she had to hold him back from jumping over the ledge. Kicking and screaming. “I have to get to him!”

Everything following that moment felt like slow motion. Agonizing slow motion.

Driving to the hospital that held Billy. Max in the passenger seat. It was silent. And they must have hit every red light on the way.

The trip up the elevator to the floor he was on. Unbearably slow.

The line they stood in to speak to the front desk. Unbearably long.

The wait until they were ready for them to come back. It felt like forever.

And just as he was ready to pass through the glass doors into the hall of the ICU, there was a hand on his chest. A nurse of about five-foot-five looking to be in her mid-to-late forties had stopped him. “Family members only at this time.” She’d said. He wanted to yell at her. Say he’s the closest thing Billy has to family. But he kept his mouth shut. Bowed his head and ushered Max along, despite her protests.

“Go see your brother, Max. I’ll be okay.”

But he wouldn’t. Steve wouldn’t see Billy for the first time for over a month. The longest month of his life.

Months spent with Billy beginning to fade away in this never ending cycle of being alone. Waking up everyday to an empty bed. Not even being able to make a phone call just to hear his voice. Being without him in every way. Not hearing his laugh or seeing his smile or just feeling his skin against his. He tried to hold on to all of those good memories. But they were slipping away.

It all went downhill when Max had called him from the ICU. It was two in the morning and she was there with Chief Hopper, despite knowing she shouldn’t be. Steve hid his anger around Hopper, trying his best not to hate him. Because he got special privileges and Steve didn’t. It was two in the morning and he was sitting in his living room watching a random movie, curled up in a blanket and hugging a pillow. He hadn’t been sleeping very well. The left side of his bed cold and vacant.

Max didn’t usually call this late. The ringing of the phone startled him and made his heart race. Because something must be wrong.

“Steve?” Max’s voice came over the line.

“Is something wrong?” He had to get straight to the point.

The pause felt like forever. His breath caught in his throat, hands trembling waiting for her to say something.

“They want to cut his hair.”

June 10th, 1985

“I think I want to grow out my hair.”

Billy says it to him that day while curled up in his bed. Steve’s fingers tenderly combing through his curly blonde locks. It’s soft. Void of any hairspray and all natural in its full curly glory. Smell of cheap drugstore shampoo. Slightly minty.

“Grow it out? It’s already long.” Steve says. He’s not wrong. Billy’s hair is already shoulder length and that’s with his naturally tight curls. Wet and brushed out it’s even longer. About to his collar bones.

“I know that. But I’d like for it to be longer. Is that okay?”

“Are you asking for my permission? Because you know you don’t have to do that.”

“I know. Just wanted to know what you thought.”

“More hair to grab onto? Doesn’t sound all that bad to me.”

Billy laughs and leans into Steve.

Billy had been getting better about voicing his feelings about things. Finding it easier to settle into himself in the company of Steve. Gaining a trust that Steve wouldn’t look at him like others would have if they had seen a boy take pleasure in a feminine aesthetic. Painted nails and soft makeup and even sexy lingerie when the mood was just right. Things he’d never allow leave the walls of Steve’s house, but had been able to set free when he was inside.

“Can I ask what made you want to do this?”

“Max braided my hair last night, but it’s too short on top so it was all sticking out.” Steve couldn’t see the smile peek onto Billy’s face or the rosy tint on his cheeks. “But I liked it.”

Max and Dustin had come to learn about the two of them. About not only their relationship but about Billy. About the little things he does to feel beautiful. Billy wasn’t as open with the two of them as he was with Steve. But they were nice about it. Supportive like Steve was. Billy would say it was nice having someone else in on the secret. Even if it scared him shitless having even just Steve in the know.

“Good. I bet you look amazing with your hair braided.”

“Do you know how?” Billy seems timid in the way he asks. But not like he used to be. His voice is consistent in tone and there is an ounce of confidence there.

Steve’s in the middle of wrapping a curl around his finger until he reaches Billy’s scalp. “A little. I used to braid Carol’s when we were little. Not sure how good I am now.”

“Do you want to try?” Same voice as before. Hopeful tinge to it that makes Steve smile.

“Go get me a brush.”

- : -

Steve barely listens to the rest of the call. He’s already getting ready to leave for the hospital before he even hangs up the phone. Barely bothering to make himself presentable. Going out to his car wearing a pair of pajama pants and one of his father’s college sweatshirts.

Max had told him to come. So he was already out the door. Letting himself imagine what Billy might look like now. It’s been over a month so he surely looks a lot different from when he last saw him. Hopefully he looks much different considering the last time he saw him he was drenched in his own blood with a hole in his chest. Max had taken pictures of Billy at the hospital, but he couldn’t bear to look at them. He needed to actually be there the first time he saw Billy, or he might completely lose his mind. If he hasn’t already.

The hospital is a full forty minute drive outside of Hawkins. But it’s two in the morning and the roads are almost entirely empty. So he floors it. Driving fifteen over the whole trip. Releasing all of the anxiety and anticipation into the weight of his foot to increase his speed.

He’s driving like he’s heading there to say goodbye. Like he’s getting ready to say his last words to the dying man in the hospital bed. Tell anyone else he’s driving this recklessly over a potential haircut they’d think he’d be being dramatic. To put it mildly.

But it was more than just hair. Billy’s hair meant something more than just the evolutionary purpose of keeping your head warm.

Losing his hair would be like losing a limb. It was a part of him. So much of his identity contained within each strand of dirty blonde. The one thing he had control over. The one thing Neil never bothered to touch. Hair he had been growing out for the better part of five years having only recently begun trimming it, and even more recently begun growing it out again. The bulk of the hair on his head was the same exact hair that had been with him through all of it. Through every beating. Through every milestone. Always there sitting on his shoulders.

It was the thing that brought him comfort in knowing it was his. That it would always be there. It was like his coat of armor. It was like a shield. Something he always used to hide behind. Something that protected him. Something that made stepping out into the world just a little bit bearable.

But then with Steve he didn’t use it to hide behind. When he was with Steve he let it fall. He let it soften and lose the stiffness brought upon by too much hairspray. He let Steve comb his fingers through it. Touch the very thing that gave him a glimpse of comfort. Because Steve did too. Steve’s gentle and caring hands combing through tangles while they lay together in bed. The same hands braiding his hair while they sat in front of the TV. Billy on the floor with his back to the couch. Sitting in between Steve’s legs as he tries to incorporate the shorter strands at the front of his head into the cascade of woven hair. Slicking it down with water and hairspray only for the short strands to sprout up only after only a couple of minutes. Billy never did get his perfect braid.

They want to take it off. They want to take it all off. Even though it’s not necessary. They wanted to take away the one thing Billy had left after everything. After it was all taken away from him. Steve had already destroyed the Camaro. The only thing he’d be walking out of the mall with would be that fucking hair and thankfully his beating heart.

And he would have Steve. He would always have Steve.

If he still wanted him when he woke up.

Steve passed the “Leaving Hawkins” sign at a whopping seventy miles per hour. Paying no mind to potential police surveying the road. Wasting no time at all.

June 20th, 1985

Billy’s wearing a scrunchie in his hair when he comes to Steve’s house after his shift. His hair is still drying from the pool water but is still so bouncy and shiny in the evening sunlight, and the little blue scrunchie in his hair makes him melt. The way the pink and orange hues of a perfect sunset warm the color of each strand. The ways his ears are fully exposed, his earring dangling and perfectly reflecting the light. The way the little strands at the front of his head fall into his eyes. The way it’s so messy yet so elegant at the same time. His heart soars. He looks beautiful.

Steve tells him that. With a kiss on the lips before he walks through the front door.

“Where’s the scrunchie from?” Steve asks.

“Stole it out of Heather’s locker.”

Steve gave Billy a fake shocked expression. “My boyfriend? A thief? It can’t be.”

Billy walks past Steve and into the house. “Relax, I swear there’s like fifty of them in there. She won’t even notice.” He takes a seat on the right side of the couch, like he always did.

Steve sits beside him, leaning his entire body up against Billy and burying his head into the crook of his neck. Billy still strongly smells of chlorine and he used to hate that smell until it became a signal that Billy was around. Suddenly it had become one of his favorite scents.

“Well it looks like we’re just going to have to get you some of your own doesn’t it?” Steve starts twirling his finger around one of the loose strands at the front of his face. “It looks real pretty.”

Pretty.

That was a newer word for them. Dropping the ‘boy’ at the end because it didn’t feel necessary anymore. Sometimes even made him feel a little like he was implying that boys couldn’t be pretty, needing to add the specification. Billy was becoming far more comfortable with himself and embracing it all. Beginning to believe that men could be pretty and that didn’t have to detract from anything.

So Steve called him pretty. He called him beautiful and gorgeous and stunning because he was. Because Billy deserved to hear it. And because it made him happy.

“Showers weren’t working at the pool. Need to wash the chlorine out. You gonna join me?”

“Oh absolutely.”

- : -

The trip through the hospital gives Steve flashbacks. Flashbacks to the night him and Max anxiously made the trek to the hospital wing Billy was in. Every moment he was currently experiencing felt like the memory. Sweaty palms gripping the handles in the elevator while the cage slowly moves up to the fifth floor. Shoulders hunched, leaning all his weight onto the bar as he curses each time the elevator stops. Foot tapping in anxiety as he waits and waits and waits until finally the doors slide open onto the fifth floor.

Steve ignores the lineup of people at the front desk and heads towards the glass door through which he can see Hopper. He wasn’t going to wait anymore. Fully prepared to bypass the stout man they had guarding the door.

Two hands come in contact flat against his chest as he gets within a foot of the door. So close to grabbing the handle. Steve leans all his weight against the man. Straight faced like a man on a mission.

“Let me through.”

Steve knows how he looks. Adorning comfortable clothes looking completely disheveled. Hair a mess, sweat forming on his brow, practically foaming at the mouth as he attempts to push his way past. His voice determined as he repeats himself.

“I can’t allow that sir. You do not have permission.”

The man just stands his ground. Hands still flat against Steve’s chest, applying very little pressure, but enough to prevent Steve from storming through.

“Let me through.” It’s louder this time. Enough to where he’s beginning to cause a scene in the middle of the waiting area. Staff and the rest all turning their heads towards the disarranged man on the verge of a public tantrum. He looks all kinds of mad, like he belongs in a padded room, restrained and straight-jacketed. He repeats himself over and over again until his voice starts to break. The man is not budging, and Steve doesn’t have the strength.

Then there’s a strong hand grabbing his bicep. Steve’s haze still recognizes it as belonging to a separate party.

“Let the kid in. He’s with me.” It’s Hopper’s distinct voice that breaks him from the daze. The man blocking his way moves to the left and removes his hands from his chest, nearly causing him to fall forward.

Hopper guides Steve through the glass doors. This is the furthest he’s made it. He can feel Billy’s presence just right around the corner. He’s not sure if that’s just because he can hear Max’s voice echoing through the halls as she argues loudly with the nurses on call.

“Good thing you’re here. Max has been guarding Billy for an hour. It’s just hair. I don’t know what the issue is.”

Steve just looks at Hopper, completely stone cold.

“It’s not just hair.”

He storms past him and into the room where Max is standing in front of Billy’s bed with her arms outstretched while two nurses try to reason with her. Steve stalls when he finally looks past Max and gets a glimpse of Billy.

He’s pale, but still tanner than Steve. He has more stubble than he would have liked but it’s still trimmed. The mask over his mouth and nose block his view slightly. His eyes are closed and he looks very peaceful.

And his hair is longer. A lot longer.

Splayed across the white pillow underneath him, his tight waves look to be at the very least an inch longer than the last time he’d seen him. Bangs falling into his face extending all the way down to the tip of his nose. It looks soft. Shiny like satin under the hospital fluorescent. He looks heavenly and angelic and that freaks Steve out.

Heavenly and angelic.

Asleep. Dead to the world. Dead.

Except he wasn’t dead. The crests and troughs of the heart monitor proving such to be true. But it felt too close. Like it was right around the corner and he had to be careful not to alert death to their location.

Steve walked past the shouting fourteen year old without a word and approached Billy’s bedside. Upon closer inspection he notices how Billy’s body has frailed. Previously cut muscles, now soft and smooth. Yet he didn’t look sickly. He was still looking more built than Steve, even. Steve moves a fallen hair from out of his eyes, like it was blocking his vision out of his closed lids. Gently tracing his finger across his hairline to behind his ear where he tucked back another strand. His skin was warm. Blood still coursing through his veins. He was definitely alive. And somehow Steve felt his presence. Knew deep down Billy was still in there.

He’s not paying attention to the screaming match taking place behind him. And they’re not paying attention to him. He’s just staring at Billy. Like he’s looking at the Mona Lisa. Behind six inches of bulletproof glass. He can’t get to him. He can’t reach him. But he’s there. He can see him. And god he’s as beautiful as ever.

It’s not the ear piercing screams from an enraged teenage girl or the annoyed combativeness from the two young nurses that separates his attention from Billy. It’s a strong hand on his shoulder that somehow both gently and forcefully pulls him back.

“Alright everyone that’s enough!” Hopper doesn’t shout but his deep and full voice carries an intensity that shuts everybody up. “One at a time, please?”

“You have no right to shave his entire head! You only have to shave off a small patch for the surgery, you said it yourself!” Max is fuming. The only word that sticks in Steve’s head is surgery. He doesn’t bother asking. Not sure if knowing would make it easier to swallow.

“We actually do have the right. His father already gave us consent to do so. It’s you who doesn’t have the right kid.” Steve has to physically restrain himself. Looking back at Billy as his fists clenched and his fingernails dug crescents into his palms at the mention of Neil.

Neil having the final say over the one thing he never touched. That was something Steve had promised Billy he would protect him from. Not the hair. Protect him from Neil taking anything more from him.

“Besides, a man’s hair shouldn’t be that long anyway.”

If Steve didn’t have the self control he did, there would surely be a nurse with a broken nose. Instead he turns back to Billy again. Looking at him. Trying to pull some answers from him.

I wish you could just tell me what to do.

“When does it need to be done by?” It’s the first thing Steve’s said since he entered the room.

“His surgery is scheduled for nine this morning. So you’ve got around five hours.”

Steve hasn’t turned towards the nurses. Hasn’t turned his head away from Billy.

“Then give us five hours.”

Steve’s expression when he finally turns back to look at the two nurses is mean. Attempting to get it across that he’s not asking.

“Five hours.” They say as they nod their heads and walk out. Annoyed expressions on their faces.

“Steve you can’t let them -“

“They won’t.” Steve takes a long look at Billy. Taking a deep breath as he glances towards the scissors that sit on the medical tray. “I’m going to do it.”

Max doesn’t say anything, which is actually a good sign. An even better sign is when she finally removes herself from her guarded position at the foot of the bed to come join Steve.

He pulls down at one of the shorter strands at the front of Billy’s head. Pulled taut, the spiral reaches all the way just past his chin.

“You think it’s long enough for a braid?”

June 20th, 1985

After a very hot and heavy make out session against the shower walls, the two actually take a shower. Despite having done so many times before, showering together always feels so intimate. Standing with each other, naked and alone in a very vulnerable position,

just existing without jumping each other’s bones. It was nice. It was just more proof that what the two of them ran deep. Soaping up each other’s bodies. That was something so personal.

Steve was running his fingers through Billy’s soap covered hair. Billy’s back turned to Steve as he did it. Letting the water from the faucet rinse his front while he let Steve play with the individual strands of his hair.

Steve liked the way Billy’s hair looked when wet. Still maintaining a curl no matter how saturated in water it got. The way it darkened to a near dark brown and he could easily be mistaken for a brunette.

The shampoo smells like coconut. Stolen straight from his mothers bathroom. The fumes mixed with the steam of the hot water clearing his senses and making his breathing feel so easy.

Steve pulls at one of his curls until it’s completely straight. Careful not to pull too hard.

“It’s already getting longer, baby.”

Because his back is turned, Steve doesn’t see the wide smile appear onto Billy’s face. Because the water is falling into his face, Steve doesn’t see the tears of joy form into his eyes.

Yet Steve knows without seeing. He wraps his arms around Billy’s waist and pulls him in close. Presses kisses into the mole on the back of his shoulder.

“It’s gonna look so good.”

“You think so?”

“You bet. I’d say give it two more weeks and I can get these little suckers into a braid.”

- : -

Steve remembers saying that so vividly. Because exactly two weeks later would be the Fourth of July. The same day that Billy’s life would nearly be taken. It felt like some cruel joke.

Now Steve is sitting in a hospital bed with his comatose boyfriends sitting in between his legs as he brushes through his hair. Trying to hold it together in front of Max and Hopper.

Steve’s not entirely sure Hopper has been made aware of the true nature of his and Billy’s relationship. He figures he’s probably pieced it together by now. And he’s pretty sure he doesn’t really care if he knows or not. He’s too focused on Billy. Focused on the man in between his legs. Focused on making him look as beautiful as he can while his hair is still on his head. Trying not to focus that it’s going to be his hands that will cut it off. Because it has to be his hands. Or else it’ll end up inadvertently being Neil’s hands.

And he wouldn’t let that happen.

Max hasn’t said much since he’d arrived. He can tell she feels guilty that Steve had been blocked from seeing Billy for so long. Especially considering how easy it was to get him past those doors. She’s just sitting in the chair at his bedside holding Billy’s hand. He is angry. But not at Max. He’s not really angry at anyone one particular person. He’s angry at the entire situation they’re in and he doesn’t know how to express that anger to Max without screaming. So he keeps his mouth shut and gently brushes the tangles out of Billy’s hair.

“I’m going to head downstairs for some food. Do you want me to bring anything up for you two?” Hopper says. He too has been mostly silent. Clearly pretty confused about the situation.

Max’s eyes lit up. “My bag. It’s in your car. Can you grab it?”

“Sure thing kiddo. You Steve?”

“A cup of coffee would be nice.”

Hopper tousled his and Max’s hair. “You got it. I’ll be back in a bit. Please for the love of God don’t yell at anymore nurses. They’re just doing their job.”

Hopper leaves the two of them and Steve finally begins braiding Billy’s hair. Combing his hair front to back before taking three small strands and began attempting a French braid.

“What’s in the bag?” He asks.

Max smiles. Looking down at Billy’s bare fingernails. “My Polaroid. Thought maybe he might like to have some pictures.”

“I think he’d like that.” Steve’s looking down at Billy’s hand in Max’s. “You have any nail polish in there?”

“I think so.”

“That’s good, maybe we can paint them.” Steve’s being extremely focused on braiding. Making sure it’s clean and precise and making sure no strand is sticking out. And it’s going a lot better than usual. Only needing to slick down a couple stray pieces. All while carefully pressing kisses to the top of his head as he makes his way down the length of his hair. Down his neck until he’s reached the end where he finally ties it off with a hair tie off of Max’s wrist.

“How’s it look?” Steve asks.

“He looks pretty.”

Steve can’t help it anymore. Can’t hold back the stream of tears that have been bottled up and threatening to overflow since he got the call. The tears squeeze through tightly closed eyelids and roll down his cheeks as he just buries his face into Billy’s braided hair.

“He does. Doesn’t he?” Steve gently wraps his arms around Billy’s chest, careful around the dressing over his scar. Fully taking in for the first time that Billy is still here. For the past month Billy’s being alive was just simply something he was told. Never something he got to see. Now he does see it. Now he sees it and he feels the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes. Feels his heart beat against his chest. He’s right there and he was going to be okay.

He had to be okay. That was the only way Steve would be okay too.

“I’m sorry.” Max apologizes. He knows why she says it. He doesn’t need clarification.

“It’s not your fault.”

Max gives Steve a half smile and uses her free hand to squeeze his shoulder.

“I don’t want to cut his hair.” Steve takes in a deep breath. “But I know it has to be me.”

“I could do it.”

Steve shakes his head at her. “No. I made a promise. It can’t be anyone else.”

“Well I���ll be here with you if it helps.”

“Thanks.”

“Thank you for loving my brother.”

They sit there for a while in just complete silence save for the muffled chatter from outside the walls and the occasional beeping from one of the many machines Billy had been wired up to. Hopper only arrives around ten minutes later with two coffees in hand and a red Jansport on his shoulder. He hands Steve his cup and Max her backpack and takes a seat in the other chair that’s near the door.

“You two alright?” Hopper asks. He probably noticed Steve’s tear stained cheeks and the somber atmosphere of the room he walked into.

The two of them nod. Steve goes in to begin nursing the hot cup of coffee and Max begins to sift through her bag. Pulling out her camera case and two small glass bottles.

“I have red and orange.”

“Billy hates orange Max! You know this!” Steve laughs.

“I know that. Was just messing with you.” She tosses the bottle of red nail polish over to Steve. “You paint, I’ll take pictures.”

Max takes a few shots while Steve coats Billy’s nails in a shiny bright red varnish. Still in the same position of Billy sitting in between Steve’s legs with a pillow on his chest for Billy to lay back on. He brings a coated hand to his lips to gently blow dry. All the while Max is snapping candid photos of the two, passing each piece of film over to Hopper for him to put into his shirt pocket to allow it to develop.

“You guys want one of all three of you?” Hopper asks. He’s been mostly silent the whole time. Nursing his own coffee while he watched Max prance around the room with her camera.

“That would be great.” Max says, handing the camera over to Hopper before she makes her way over to the bedside. Leaning into the frame. Steve pulls Billy’s braid forward so that it’s now draped over his shoulder and visible. Intertwining his fingers with Billy’s now dry and red coated ones. He smiles as the flash temporarily blinds him.

They take as many more photos as they can until Max has run out of film. Hours pass and the hour hand is approaching eight o’clock. Meaning it’s about time.

About time to say goodbye.

The process begins slowly. Undoing the braid being the first step. Undoing the thing Billy really wanted to see for himself. The thing he’ll only get to experience in pictures. It hurt to pull the elastic from his hair and run his fingers through the perfectly woven strands.

The next part was securing it all back up into a ponytail at the top of his head. That way all Steve would have to do was make one single cut and be done with it. Allow the nurses to shave off the rest.

He knew it was going to be hard. But he didn’t anticipate it being this hard. Now holding an open pair of scissors above Billy’s head. All of his hair in between the blades. All he had to do was close his fingers together and it would begin. But he was stuck. Hands frozen still as he began to sob into Billy’s hair as Max and Hopper silently watched him. Max’s hand on his thigh and Hopper’s on his shoulder.

He couldn’t stop imagining Billy having to wake up like this. Wake up to the knowledge that his hair was gone at the hands of Steve. Wondering if maybe this would hurt him more than someone else doing it. He had to remember he made a promise. Even if it meant that Billy may wake up and hate him.

Steve’s fingers finally close the blades together and he can hear the sharp sound of cutting hair.

He made a promise.

September 19th, 1985: One Month Later

Billy’s awake.

Billy’s awake and Steve is there holding his hand as he does. It wasn’t planned, somehow fate just decided to work out in their favor.

Billy takes a while to come to. Nearly an hour before he truly recognizes who he is and where he is and who Steve is. Steve just sits there patiently while he does. Repeating over and over again that he’s in the hospital. That he’s okay. That “Steve’s here.”

Billy’s hair is short and curly now. A lighter blonde than before. It looks really good on him and he just hopes Billy is able to agree.

“Steve?” Is the first thing Billy says and Steve’s heart melts at the sound of Billy’s groggy voice.

“Yeah baby. It’s me. I’m right here.” Steve pulls Billy’s hand to his mouth and begins kissing his knuckles. Showing Billy his own painted fingernails. Maybe that will help serve as a comfort for him. “Welcome back.”

“How long?”

“Almost three months.”

Billy just nods. Then slowly moves a free hand up to scratch at his head and Steve’s heart stops. He thought he’d have more time.

His heart shatters when Billy’s hand makes contact and his half lidded eyes turn wide.

“My hair is gone.” He says before turning over to see Steve is crying.

“I’m sorry. I had to cut it. I'm so sorry.” Steve’s voice is broken and Billy takes a minute to finally register the situation. Spending about a minute pulling at the short curls in his hair before squeezing Steve’s hand with all of the strength he has. Which isn’t much.

“It’s okay.” He whispers. Pushing down his own sadness and grief over it to reassure Steve that he’s not mad at him. He couldn’t be mad at him. It hurt. It hurt to know that his hair had been taken from him. But he also knows Steve didn’t do it to hurt him. “It’s gonna grow back.” He’s not sure if he’s saying that to Steve or to himself.

Steve sniffles and apologizes again. And again. And again.

“Steve I’m too weak to kiss you so you better get down here and kiss me or I’ll fucking scream.”

Steve does as he’s told. Nose full of snot and cheek coated in tears but he does it anyway. And Billy tastes like coming home. Everything about right now feels so unreal and he just has to savor the moment before he wakes up from whatever dream reality he must be trapped in.

But he doesn’t wake up from any dream because there is no dream. Billy’s alive. Billy’s awake. And Billy is kissing him.

Things were going to be okay. He was certain of that now.

And so was Billy when Steve finally showed him the little Polaroid of him in his perfect braid. Held by Steve. Looking beautiful with his long hair. The hair will grow back. With new memories, better memories, attached to each inch.

Things were going to be okay.

next part

[fandom-sheep]

MCC 24 JUL 21

Green Guardians and Pink Parrots Part 1/2

Alright I’m finally back! I’m only half watching while I clean my room but it’s fine.

I’m watching Fundy’s POV on my main screen and Ranboo’s on my phone where I’m typing this.

Ranboo pre game stream let’s gooo.

I’m so very entertained by the background Tubbo noises.

He’s so happy. I don’t know if I have it in my to watch Fundy’s POV even though I’m cheering for the Green Guardians.

Sands of time. Let’s go!

We are going to hear these boys in each other’s backgrounds.

This has “mom can we play Minecraft at our sleepover” vibe.

Phil’s streaming. Where is the fox boy…

Boys trying to out noise each other.

Please tell over to tubbo about how loud he is being. It would be funny.

It’s so much fun watching this boy achieve his goals. I love watching people achieve their goals.

Actual MCC server!!!

Good time for screeny. Nobody is chilling.

BURGER!

I saw him! I saw that fox run past!

“Ahh” - Ranboo

“Aaaa” -Tubbo

“Ahhhh” -Ranboo

“Aaaa” -Tubbo

High school ish age boy in competitive scenario. This will be so much fun.

Microphone magic time!

Hey I hear the boys!

And it works well.

It does echo???? How???

“It was a joint effort. I came up with some bad ideas you came up with the idea that works.” -Tubbo

Also known as every other group chat I’ve ever been in.

Lmanburg flag at rally?

What?

No. Let’s do free clout.

Ranboo being a problem.

Why is everyone in that VC?

What problems are these children causing.

Fundy is live! Where is my iPad time to dual wield streams.

Spatula???

Dual spatulas.

It’s time to start!!!

Where is the fox?

You know. I might reverse it. I might have to watch Pink Parrots mainly and just ignore green guardians.

I’m going to put Wilbur on my iPad so I can see the chaos man. Now to decide which POV I’m listening to. Probably Ranboo. Wilbur on mine is slightly behind.

They asked if Wilbur was going change his skin? That never happens. He had to wear the sweater of shame at Christmas time.

I have them both almost perfectly sinced but it’s at the point it almost sounds echoed.

No it’s just tubbo who sounds echoed.

Nope can’t get it to sync. Just listening on my speaker.

No surround sound here. Unless I get really board.

Manifesting the win?

Manifolding the win.

Bavid.

Time to annoy the other teams.

From here on I’m going to try to be productive while I watch. Wait no. The music isn’t in sync with the one I’ll mostly be watching.

Oh I forgot TapL was there. Nope it’s not syncing. Just going to have Ranboos on my phone be secondary.

Wilbur POV let’s go.

We trash talking. Look at them go.

Ahh. English area codes. What the enigma.

Let’s win pink parrots!!! How do I always end up cheering for this team…

I need to make pink parrot art.

Oh no. Just Wilbur.

Oh no. It’s all Tubbo.

Wilbur reminds me of a good camp counselor motivating his team. Not like one of my coworkers.

My brother isn’t home today so we can’t have a watch party like we wanted.

My mom is confused with my and my brother’s investment in MCC but we told her it was the national championships of Minecraft.

Oh poor Fundy tagging on the other side.

I need to remember to collect channel points.

I’m sorry why is my internet acting stupid. Work you!

Pink and purple. The tween girls second most idea color pallet.

They are over motivating the Soot.

Thought Wilbur was going to explode from peer pressure there.

Yooo. I figured out how to watch Fundy! I can split screen my ipad between the app and the website. Tiny Fundy screen and big Wilbur screen and tiny Ranboo screen on my phone.

They can’t warn fast enough.

Time to watch and ad and support Wilbur because it got too far behind for my liking while I fought with the tiny Fundy screen.

I need to put away the books I’m pressing flowers in. But I don’t want to mess up the flowers.

Wonder how soon I’ll have to start a new post because I ran out of bullet points.

Nah I’m not keeping Fundy’s POV open. I want full screen Pink Parrots.

Music brain made the lyric connection.

I could drink 3 bottles of water every round.

The boys with the superior bladders.

What happened with Wilbur? What I didn’t see anything happen with the stream.

Nox crew role play??? What?

Wait. Did red team just fall into the void?

What?

I found a skirt and I’m wondering why I don’t wear it more often.

It goes down to my knees I could even wear this to church.

Offhand wool!

Time to battle in the box!

Exciting death boots.

Go!!! Do wool! Get em!

Oh wow. They both died. At the same time.

They can hear the Tommy. That’s how well these dudes know one another.

Bragging on each other.

Everyone surprised that Wilbur is entering his old man years.

Woohoo!

Random history moments with Tubbo.

Woohoo (again)!

Ranboos just going to jinx it.

Oh no I need my charger!

Got my charger! Rejoined at “Minecraft butts make big… videos” and am quite confused.

Skilled boys!!

Poof goes the Bur.

They beat Dream???

Casually refolding every bandana I own while watching battle box.

I found a peppermint tea bag.

Come on get mid! Noooo.

Pink parrots doing pretty good from what I see in MCC live.

I thought Ranboo had an actual burger on his face cam. I was so confused for a moment.

Yelling across the room casually.

Wilbur is back. You can hear him.

Wilbur is like a kid trying to get a duck out of the pond.

Sky battle?

Shake? Shake shake shake?

Oh no. Now all the chat is crying over Ghostbur. Myself included.

Pink parrots on top so far! Never mind that didn’t last long.

Go Wilbur! Go Tubbo! Go Ranboo! Go TapL!

Wilbur go poof.

3rd atm.

Oh we’ve gone down.

No he was not good. But he paved the way for TapL.

We’re in 2nd?? Are the other teams dead or something?

If we’re going down and yelling timber.

4th. Not bad.

Woohoo!

Go green guardians!!

So proud of them.

Pants and Boots!

Still in 6th for sky battle.

Bless his heart TapL is so worried.

Red Rabbits and Green guardians are close.

My streams are out of sync. So confused.

We’re in lead!!

WE WON!!!

My iPad is struggling with Will’s stream but it’s going!

Come on Parrots!

Alright got it up again. Got it up again.

If I were a streamer I wouldn’t be good at MCC. I can’t competitive properly. I just like making jokes and being goofy.

Not a good lead but oh well never mind we don’t have the lead.

Red Rabbits YUM.

“Do not engage” as they set off tnt.

Get those stupid rabbits! Or whoever is attacking. I’ve never been good at any sports.

First again!

Hold on guys!

They won!!! With Wilbur hovering on the edge of the void!!!

PINK PARROTS FIRST PLACE (for now but I’m still excited)

Talented team!! Look at them go!

Get your screen shot little Y/N fan boy.

Not surprised we’re more popular than the olympics.

Had to go brag to my parents that there are more people watching MCC than the olympics. They were also not surprised.

Sands of Time. The wildcard game.

Sand sand sand sand.

We have a key for a vault already?

Putting away shoes. Nothing to make you be productive like watching Minecraft peeps play a competitive game.

“Everywhere is a way into somewhere”

Come on boys.

Time to switch to Ranboos POV. See if I can spot that N with my grown up can spot things vision.

Nope don’t see this mysterious letter.

TapL if you got nothing to do bother Ranboo to help him find that N.

Calm Tubbo. Tubbo chill.

Really. The map is broken and they are taking forever helping.

Key!!! Fight Fight Fight.

Ranboo apologizing.

If his team loses this kid will blame himself.

Go Tubbo and Ranboo.

Vault open!

Out of sand = prepare to book it.

1:30 (90 sec) let’s go.

Less than a minute. Evacuate!

Oh no Ranboo is lost. Hurry kiddo!

They made it?

They made it.

Off goes the Wilbur. Now to wait.

Come on pink parrots.

Is it bad I can’t see sands of time coins in MCC live or am I just crazy?

5th. Better than I expected.

THEY ARE STILL FIRST???

Barely. But they are.

We get to vote now?!?

Quick to the voting!

I had to fight Twitter to vote.

The app didn’t want to work.

What’s the acronym one?

I’m sorry did I just hear that Wilbur taught Tubbo how to spell fuck?

Ranboo has the iron bladder.

I drank so much water but I just kinda do that.

Listen to Wilbur getting soft and encouraging Ranboo in his first game.

And Wilbur wanting him back. And planning to manipulate Scott.

Doesn’t surprise me that Wilbur would manipulate Scott. I know he probably doesn’t but still.

Look at all us audience beings.

Hooray David. I don’t know who you are but sup.

I’m sitting on a yoga ball to type and I about fell off. That wouldn’t have been fun.

All of Wills chat blessing him.

David just did the vocal equivalent of 👍🏻

Ooo I found a dollar.

And of course Tubbo likes the olympics. Trampoline boy should love them.

Nooo. Not tubbo!

Whoopsy. There go the parrots.

Why does my Wilbur stream keep goofing. See this is why I don’t actually liveblog I am so behind it’d be delayed anyway.

Instead of replacing with Phil replace with Kristen.

Keep it up Pink Parrots keep it up. *clap clap*

Where is my old cheerleading book?

Oh this is so behind. I saw ranboo fall on his POV then waited a few moments to see him on Wills.

Let’s reset it again for now. Look like it’s close. And I got an ad this time.

If it gets super behind again I’m going to just switch to Ranboo on my iPad and see if that works.

Wills is slightly ahead now. That’s how I like it.

Wilbur is such a motivating human. I swear I keep thinking that I’m hearing my coworkers encouraging campers at a kickball game or something.

Oh we’re dropping. But we’re still going.

How the actual hay are we still here.

Keep it up TapL!!

2nd!

300 and a bit to get back to first.

Look at Ranboo and Wilbur. So happy.

Ok singy boi with the ability to do one sound for a long time.

I want TapL on DSMP. It would be funny I like this guy. What does this guy stream? I want to start watching him.

Ace Race? I love ace race.

Ooo buildmart. Used to be my favorite but now no one hates it anymore.

I like least liked games. Least liked games act as great equalizers. No one is happy and it’s funny.

“You have such a way with words” -TapL (?)

“Thanks I’m a song writer” -Wilbur

Why are we doing dramatic monologues?

Sounds neat. I like this deep story.

Who is dying? What? I zoned out for a minute.

Cant wait to see that audio appear on tiktok.

You go Wilbur. I believe in you.

You go Ranboo become a lover or hater of Ace Race.

“I keep on stabbing people in the butt with my fork” -Ranboo

Again can’t wait to see that audio appear on tiktok.

I love Wilburs angry “which glitch” he’s experienced all of them.

No don’t stop Wilburs channel! I’ll watch an ad but let me watch ace race.

Ranboo has learned to dislike ace race.

Feels like a achievement. You have made Ranboo hate ace race.

Tubbo did it! Whoop!

Good job Will!

Good Job team!

Second team to finish!!!

Wait it says they are in 3rd on MCC live?

Phil Head!

Hey 1st. Good job Parrots!

The perspective I watch doesn’t matter. All I see is shifting at Wilbur either way.

Ranboo booked it.

Techno. Oh how we miss him. He was there last MCC but still.

Wait why are they in the soggy? I missed it?

Dunk tank?

End on build mart! Everyone sounded so sad! I’m so happy! I picked the right team!

Oh acronym is terra swoop force!!! Go Philza.

I’m practical shot who will win.

Pink Parrots doing actually pretty good according to MCC live.

Good job guys!

Resetting Wilburs stream while nothing is happening so I don’t miss anything later.

OH WAIT STUFF IS STILL HAPPENING I SEE IT ON RANBOOS!

Oh final text block. I’m going to have to make 2 posts.

[thisismysanderssidesblog]

Demon AU- One Shot

So I wrote this at like 1:30 am the other day while slightly stoned. And I haven’t written fanfiction in like two years. But I edited it and its not terrible, so here it is:

Its a prompt from this list by @infinimay

Demon AU- Someone is bored and tries to summon a demon. Unfortunately, they didn’t do the ritual quite right, and the demon is looking rather… To be fair, the book never clarified that the size of the summoning circle determines the size of the demon!

“You gotta be fucking kidding me......” Virgil thought as he stared up at the three mortals who summoned him here.........

“Did.....did it work?” the one who was dressed as a flamboyant prince asked, staring down at the rather smol demon standing in the middle of the summoning circle. 

“Well seeing as there was something not in the circle before you uttered that cantation, and now there is. I would say, yes Roman. It did work” the man wearing a black button-up with a blue tie and a pair of glasses on his nose stated. 

“Don’t say my name in front of the demon Logan!” The one referred to as Roman screeched. 

“What if that gives him power over me of some sort!!” he yelled, clearly panicking. 

“That's preposterous. This is a demon, not a fae creature Roman.” the tie-wearing man stated. 

“You said it again!” Roman screeched.

“I just stated that the creature can’t possibly control you by just knowing your name. And even if it could, you have now stated my name so we would both be in the same boat” The man known as Logan stated. “You don’t see me freaking out about the demon knowing my name do you?” 

Roman looked at Logan flabbergasted “Just because he hasn’t tried to control us yet doesn’t mean he can’t!!” he yelled. “Look at him! He’s probably waiting for the perfect moment to use his full powers” He said staring down the demon. 

‘You have to be fucking kidding me’ Virgil thought again looking at the two mortals who were bickering about him. He didn't even know how to use his full powers yet. As far as demons went he was still pretty young. He knew one day he would be able to master his full powers. But as of today the most he could do was simple illusions, intimidation tactics, and bind someone's soul to hell if they were already bad enough. He was hardly the demon most mortals would try and make a deal with, as he was so much less experienced than other demons he knew. Corrupting Mortals? He was more likely to make them turn out good than bad. Making deals? Again all he could do was simple illusion magic. And knowing this guy's name? Did absolutely squat for him. 

While the first two mortals continued to bicker, the small demon looked over to the third human. The third human was staring at him in curiosity and partial confusement. The third human also wore glasses, very similar to the tie-wearing man, he also wore a light blue polo and had and gray cardigan wrapped around his shoulders. As Virgil made eye contact with the third human he saw the mortal begin to smile. It was a warm smile. A comforting smile. A smile that Virgil had never seen before.  “Hmm.” He thought to himself. 

“Well why don’t we just ask him then huh!?” the princely man yelled loudly at the other. Ah right. They were still bickering about his “powers” He turned his head to look back at the two of them.

“Very well.” The man in the tie stated before turning to look at Virgil. His gaze cold and steely, void of most emotion. ‘Geez....” Virgil thought. ‘Aren’t I supposed to be the demon?’ he thought to himself. 

“Do you possess the power to control us using our names?” the mortal asked Virgil. Virgil stared at him. “Umm...don’t you think if I could I would have used that to get out of here by now?” Virgil asked the human. 

“See Roman? Precisely as I thought. He can't control us’ just by knowing our names.” Logan said to the other. 

“How do we know he’s not LYING? Huh, Logan?? He’s a demon. That's what they do. They lie. Why would he tell about his dark mysterious powers?” Roman asking accusingly towards Virgil.  

Virgil blinked at this man. He guessed he did make some fair points. Still, if he had powers that can help him out of this situation he would have used them by now. Satan knows he was not a fan of being six inches tall just because these morals don’t know how to draw a summoning circle correctly. He may be a demon, but he was not a super powerful one. These humans held more power over him at the moment then he did. Maybe if he was the same height as them that could be different. But right now he was feeling pretty useless. 

“Actually deception is more of my brother's job.” He spoke up for the first time. Maybe if he talked to these humans he could get them to erase at least part of the summoning circle and he could return to Hell. 

The three heads shot towards him. “You have a brother.” The one known as Logan stated. Virgil looked at him. “Umm. Yeah. I have a brother. Is that really so crazy?” He asked him. 

“No. I suppose not” Logan responded. “It’s just something I never thought about. Granted before today I hadn’t even entertained the possibility that demons could be real. It wasn’t until Roman had this grand plan to-” He was cut off by the one in the prince outfit. 

“Yeah yeah, enough of this chit chat about family or whatever. What do you want with us demon? Have you come to steal our souls? Corrupt us to the dark side? Eternally bestow misfortune upon us!? Well, you can try all you like! But I swear I will protect my friends from you're evil doings with my last breath. So if want to get to us you have to go through me first!” Roman yelled out in a dramatic speech glaring at the demon. 

Virgil stared at him. ‘Is this guy serious....’ he asked himself. When he saw that the man's gaze did not falter he internally groaned. ‘He is serious....god damn it.’

“Um. No.” He stated to the human. “I don’t know if you can remember this with your apparent short-term memory loss. But you summoned me here.” he snarkily said to the human.  “I didn’t have  choice in coming here. Now if you would please be so kind as to erase a small portion of this summoning circle. I will gladly be out of your hair and on my way back to Hell.” He told the humans.  

“Hah! Nice try demon!” The one known as Roman yelled. ‘Satan damn it.’ Virgil thought to himself. “We won’t undo that summoning circle! It's the only thing keeping you contained at the moment! Why on earth would we potentially release you!” He bellowed at the demon. 

“Now Roman! It's not nice to hold people captive who don’t want to be here!” The third man finally spoke up. “If........” The man looked at Virgil. 

“Virgil.”

“If Virgil doesn’t want to be here, we can’t force him to stay here!” He said to Roman. 

“We literally can though” Both Roman and Logan said in unison before looking at each other. The third man glared at them. “That doesn’t mean we should though! Besides! Look at him! He’s so small who could he hurt!” he said gesturing to the small demon. 

‘Yeah no thanks to you idiots....’ Virgil grumbled to himself. The third man looked at him surprised. “What was that kiddo?” He asked. Virgil didn’t respond. It was bad enough they now knew he couldn’t leave without erasing the summoning circle. He didn't think it would be the brightest idea to tell them that this isn't his normal size. They might never let him leave if they knew he could potentially be much larger. At the moment they may see him as less of a threat and potentially let him go. 

Damn Deceit for pushing him into the summoning circle. He didn't have an interest in collecting human souls or corrupting mortals to be doomed to hell. Call him a bad demon but he really didn’t care much about mortals, to begin with. And it was almost as if Deceit could sense that this summoning circle would be smaller then average, making the demon who came through only appear to be six inches tall. Since these humans didn’t have a specific demon they were trying to summon the summoning circle just appeared in a random location in Hell for any demon to jump, or in his case be pushed, through. 

The third man looked at Virgil. “Virgil kiddo. Did you say something?” He asked the demon. Virgil scoffed. “Yeah, I did. But I’m not repeating myself.” He stated towards the cheery man. 

“Oh! Okay, kiddo.” He turned towards Logan and Roman. “Guys, we can’t keep him here. We have to let him go home!” He said to the other two. 

“But Patton! What if he brings an army of other demons here to collect our souls and damn us to Hell now that he knows who we are and where we are!” Roman asked. 

“Why would I do that??” Virgil exclaimed. He didn't understand humans. 

“Why wouldn’t you!? You are literally a demon! Do you not know what you are??” Roman yelled at him. Virgil was getting real sick of this guy. 

“Yes I know I’m a demon! Of course, I know I’m a demon! I just happen to not care about mortals all that much, and I just want to go home! My stupid brother pushed me into the summoning circle before I could do anything because he knows I have no interest in most normal demon hobbies and he wanted to fuck with me! Now if you could please just erase some of this fucking summoning circle I will be able to go home and I can stop standing around listening to three argue for god knows how long!” He yelled, finally snapping. 

His breathing had turned heavy, and he could feel his chest tighten. He didn’t know a single other demon who got anxiety like he did. But of course, he had always been an outlier. He could feel the panic begin to surround him. He just wanted to go home. He could feel the pace of his breathing pick up and his chest tightens even more as he felt the need to curl into himself rise. “Please. Just let me go home.” 

The three humans stared at him as his breathing picked up. “Kiddo...” The one now known as Patton began moving towards him. Virgil backed up as much as he could inside the summoning circle. He may be a demon, but he was currently 6 inches tall, and technically immortal, but getting crushed by a human would still hurt. And with the current state he was in, he was in no mood to add more stress then he was already feeling. 

Patton stopped as Virgil backed away from him. He looked to the others who also looked shocked. Roman more the Logan. “A demon.....can get anxious?” he asked the others, but mostly to himself. 

“Of Course.. I can.... get..anxious! I am the physical.....embodiment of.....Anxiety!” Virgil screeched through the panicked breath. Roman backed away from him slightly. Logan, however, took a hesitant step towards him and crouched down slightly. Virgil flinched away. 

“Virgil?” Logan called to the being in front of him. Said demon raised his eyes to look at the mortal. 

“Can you do me a favor and go through this breathing exercise with me. I am sure it will help calm you down and we will then be able to release you so you may return home.” He stated. Virgil met Logan's eyes and saw the sincerity in them. 

“But Logan!” Roman started. “No buts Roman. We are letting Virgil go home. If he wanted to harm us in any way he would have by now. Clearly, all we are doing is causing stress in a creature's life who did not ask for it.” His eyes returned to Virgil who while was still heavy breathing was able to give a nod in agreement to the breathing exercises. 

“Excellent” Logan said. “Now I want you to breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds and then let out for 8 seconds. Do you think you can do that with me?” He asked. 

Virgil nodded his head and started to breathe in as Logan began to count. “1....2.....3....4....Hold...2... 3....4.....5....6....7...Out....2....3.....4...5....6....7....8. Okay again.” This went on for a few minutes and as Virgil fell into the pattern he felt himself begin to calm a bit, and as much of the anxiety that could left him. 

After a few moments of being calm, he looked up at Logan. “.......thanks...” He said. 

“Not a problem. If you suffer from large amounts of anxiety, which I assume you do seeing as you are the ‘physical embodiment of anxiety’ It would probably do you well to know one or two breathing exercises to help calm you down and allow you to relax a little bit.” Logan told him. 

Virgil nodded his head. “Makes sense I suppose. I had never thought of that before...” He told them. “My brother thinks I should be focusing on making my powers and anxiety stronger so I can use it on mortals. But honestly, I’m not too interested in corrupting humans and making them fear me.” He didn't know why he was telling them all this. Maybe it was because they gave him a coping mechanism for his anxiety? Either way. He should probably stop talking now. 

But what he said caught the attention of the humans. “Oh? So what do you like to do then? If you're not interested in, corrupting humans?” the one named Patton asked. Normally Virgil would tell him to mind his own business. But there was something about this moral. Despite being a demon, Virgil couldn't help but naturally trust this human. 

“.......I like to paint,” he answered after a few moments. “Not the craziest thing in the world, but pretty crazy when you're a demon who doesn’t care about scaring mortals....” he said. 

“Paint?” Roman perked up at this. “You like to paint? What do you like to paint?” He asked him while trying not to show to much interest. Virgil stared at him for a moment. 

“Probably not anything you would be too interested in Princey.” he snarked at the man, not wanting to get into details of what he painted. He couldn’t imagine humans being too thrilled with the things he painted. 

“Princey??” The man let out some offended noises. 

“Yeah, you dress like that, you act like a self-centered prick, you get the nickname Princey,” Virgil responded to the man. He turned back to the other two. “Look, it's been great chatting and all, but I really need to get home. I won’t try and corrupt you or anything like that. But i need you to erase some of the summoning circle so i can transport back Hell. I promise you will never see me again, I won’t come back around to bug you. But I really just want to leave.” He said to them. 

Patton and Logan exchanged looks before Patton nodded and walked forwards, kneeling down and erasing some of the summoning circle. Virgil let out a sigh of relief before making eye contact with Patton. “Thanks...see ya probably never.” and popped out of sight. 

Patton stood back up and exchanged looks with Logan, behind them Roman was still grumbling to himself about the nickname given to him by a demon. 

“You think we’ll ever see him again?”

“I don’t know Patton. I don't know.”

[unfortunatelysirius]

╰☆☆ ℕ𝕆𝕋 𝕐𝕆𝕌ℝ 𝔾𝕀ℝ𝕃𝔽ℝ𝕀𝔼ℕ𝔻 ☆☆╮ [Sirius Black – Marauders Era] [Part 13]

Previous Installments: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12 ╰❂╮ prompt ╰❂╮ ☾ ¡Original! ☾ Y/N and Regulus make a pact, and Sirius begins to uncover the truth. ╰❂╮ author’s note ╰❂╮ so so sorry for the huge wait, but here i am, and this is short (not terribly short but still short) but believeeeee me, the next part will be soon and will be big~ hope you guys are doing fantastic :]]] ╰❂╮ warnings ╰❂╮ Angst, Swearing ╰❂╮ word count ╰❂╮ 1843 ╰❂╮ tag-list ╰❂╮ @kapolisradomthoughts @rageofcaliban @saucyleftovers @bunnymother93 @siriuslyr5 @apareciumimagines  @random-quartz @ruefulposts @seabasstiantrash @starlightspidey @pinkettepoet @peppermintspecks @jiongyongguk

    “Regulus,” whispered Y/N, heart pounding erratically against her chest, “what is going on?”

         There was nothing—nothing but the look of disdain he wore as a mask, and the blue, tremoring veins pressed against the tightly-woven flesh of his fist, an alarming feature that did not whisk by unnoticed. Observing him, Y/N could read nothing but his obvious fatigue, the tension in his shoulders, the way his hair appeared uncombed. The wrinkled composition of his robes. The resemblance he bore to Severus Snape at that moment was unsettling, though Y/N could tell it was not something he wanted—not in the slightest—and that alone caused an ache of sympathy to shoot through Y/N’s heart—

         But observations aside, there was a reason she was called away from her obligations of sitting and dissecting pumpkin crumble to assist him as a conservational partner. The last part was certainly dubious. Of course, this was Regulus Black she was associating herself with; the boy was antisocial, and clever beyond a wit’s measure, and Y/N never saw him talking to anyone but a select few housemates and occasionally Sirius. The two of them weren’t friends. This had to be a serious matter, though the prejudiced part of Y/N wondered if his unsubtle request was a cruel joke, one he would allow Mulciber and Rosier and Goyle to perform on her.

         “You’ve been Obliviated,” said Regulus, finally, in such a tone—dripping in finality—that Y/N startled. “Do you remember anything?”

         Y/N pushed his words aside, her fear overruling rationality, the side which wanted to listen and understand what has caused everything to go so terribly wrong. She bit her lip, and frowned. “We shouldn’t be talking to each other—it could wind up getting you or me seriously hurt—“

         “That’s not what matters here, Y/N!” Y/N, in all her years at Hogwarts, never thought Regulus to be capable of raising his voice. This caused her to blink, and to internally shrink, previous fight slowly faltering, like a dying animal. “I know the stories. I know the rumors. And I know you’re being a pawn to a bigger player’s game.”

         Y/N’s frown deepened. “How did you know I was Obliviated? How do you know any of this?”

         “Not the point,” Regulus said dismissively, and then hissed, “Any proper potions brewer can manipulate the potion to perform a supplement of its actual effect. Take Veritaserum; with proper handling, and proper instruction, any person with a brain can tamper it to make everything out of your mouth a lie, not truth.

         “The same can be done to a love potion. You can tamper it, enchant it, to make whoever sips it temporarily smitten with the first person they see. But the strong brewers can use their words, make whoever you become smitten with whoever they want. And sometimes, they can mix it with other elements and ingredients, make it where you’re in a different mindset and following the heart of whoever it is. The last one’s easier. All you need is a lock of someone’s hair.”

         Y/N gasped, horrified to think everything was suddenly making sense, then thought back to that fatal outing she had with Sirius:

{…} “The stars do look rather beautiful tonight,” said Y/N, raising her canteen at Sirius. She was the first to take a sip.

Then, she mumbled something. It was a hollow, throated sound, filled with monotonous desperation. And Y/N’s entire mind clouded, replaced with the thoughts of someone foreign, the feelings as foreign to her as water was to fire, and thoughts appeared, all at once.

I wonder if Father will allow me to marry Lucius. He’s the only kind one of my suitors. Oh, but Alex! He may be young, but he has an adventurous soul, though it is rather limited. I remember the flowers he brought me on Valentine’s…

Her gaze was now clearing and her eyelids were thickening, raising higher and higher and higher—all until she looked like a madwoman, breaths falling from her mouth in uneven intervals. “Alex. Alex. Oh, Alex.”

Sirius looked horrified. He reached across the table and grabbed her hands into his, ignoring how she recoiled at his touch—ignoring the repulsion on her mouth. “Y/N,” he said softly. “Who is Alex?”

Y/N—Narcissa—snatched her hands away from him. “Oh, Alex,” she whimpered. “How could he bear to know that someone with the name Black has touched my hand, has branded me a blood-traitor? He will never ask for my hand in marriage now. Never, never, never.”

         Alex will never take the hand of a blood traitor. I am no blood-traitor. I am Narcissa Black, the only Black not crazy or a traitor, and Alex will take my hand in marriage.

         -

         “Oh my god,” said Y/N, no longer able to stand on her own two legs. She slowly slumped to the ground, bringing with her whatever dignity she had left.

         Regulus crouched down, bringing up a hand to lay on Y/N’s knee. It may have looked suggestive to any mere passerby, but Y/N knew it was empathetic comfort, nothing more. “I’ll need to help you get back your memories, Y/N,” the boy said lowly, quiet enough that they were the only two souls to hear it. “But we cannot do it here. Meet me in the Restricted Section tonight, at midnight.”

         Before Y/N could get a word out—specifically her affirmation for the idea---Regulus was standing and turning, leaving with a swish of his robes. It left Y/N with a rotten taste in her mouth, one that caused her to sink further into the ground, wishing she could be swallowed whole.

         -

         “Oh, Merlin,” Remus Lupin whispered, turning to look at Sirius after the four Marauders watched Regulus stride off and Y/N collapse. They’d heard most of everything, and the broken, remorseful expression on Sirius’s face was enough to make any living person’s chest ache. “Sirius…”

         But Sirius wasn’t looking. And he wasn’t listening. He had his eyes clenched shut, looking to be totally void of any sense for the modern day, as he pulled at his hair, angry, angry, angry, like the only one he now wanted to punch and kick was himself.

         Similarly, James wasn’t looking at either of them. And he held no attention for Peter, who was nervously looking at Remus, like he was the only one with any real sense. Instead, James was staring at Y/N. Watching her with this look of heart-churning realization, like his gut had wrenched itself inside-out. He’d been so angry at her, thinking she’d played some sick game with his best mate’s head, when in reality, they were all pawns to a bigger pawn’s game—just like Regulus had said.

         And Regulus. James knew it was shameful for the four of them—the Marauders, known for their wit and intelligence—to be so stupidly blind. To allow Y/N to be hurt, and to hunt for answers all by herself, while they patted their friend on the back, brooding over the betrayal of someone who did nothing but wear her heart on her sleeve, like a true Gryffindor.

         James was disappointed in himself. He should have known something was amiss, especially when Y/N came knocking on their door, desperate to reconcile. If she were truly ill-intentioned, she would not have come looking to apologize. She wouldn’t have seemed ready to cry when James had snapped at her, telling her to leave his best friend alone.

         It was all a bloody mess. One that James had no clue how to fix.

         One that Remus had no clue how to fix.

         One that Peter had no clue how to fix.

         One that Sirius had no clue how to fix.

-

         Y/N stood, onto shaky legs. She could feel her heart pounding, and her body aching, as though she’d been pummeled by the sky a thousand times over. And she could feel her heart hurting, more than it had ever hurt before, because this time it was due to fallen memories, dying from the absence it held of answers she needed, ones made complicated by the flourish of a fucking wand.

         She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She wanted to pound her fists into the dirt, yelling for a mercy that no one—not even Merlin himself—would grant.

         This situation was painful. So painful and so consequential that Y/N was looking to a stranger for guidance, a boy who she once thought washed with insensible, parental bullshit, now capable of compassion, and willing to help her, even though she was broken—broken beyond prepare.

         And here was the broken girl, walking slowly away from the place where she’d lost her dignity, heading to where she’d stay until it was time for answers, her dormitory, because she had nowhere else to go, and not a single soul to curve into for comfort.

         And even now, she was hallucinating the idea of Sirius, for he was standing in the next corridor, there with his friends, three blokes once dearly close to Y/N, before she’d lost them. And he seemed so real, too, because he was staring at her, with these round, bloodshot eyes, just staring, so terribly sad and heartbroken that Y/N just wanted to hug him.

         She ached to touch him again, to hold him dear and close—just as she dreamed and just as she now deluded herself into imagining. It was beautiful. And heart-wrenching.

         Something Y/N kept thinking, and yearning for, that she could hardly feel or return the hard, abrupt, and clumsy hug she suddenly received from Sirius Black himself.

         She was frozen. She was concerned. She questioned her own sanity because his arms felt so real, his hair felt so real, his tears felt so real. Was he real? Was this a ghost of the past? Was this a dream? Or would he get brutally ripped from her, leaving her in the essence of a nightmare?

         She was unsure. She was stuck. Until he murmured three words, against the base of her throat, words that brought air bubbles into her heart’s pitter-pattering beat, that had a hiccupping sob erupting from her mouth—

         “I’m so sorry.”

         And Y/N’s arms returned the hug, feverishly, like she might never hug again. Like he might disappear, and she’d be left with nothing. But he was physical flesh. He was physical bone. He was a beautiful canvas, one Y/N desperately sought to ruin, over and over again, until he was her flesh, until he was her bone.

         “I love you,” he sobbed into her hair. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”

         And though Y/N wanted to pound at his chest and scream at him for shredding apart her heart and leaving her with nothing, she felt no other feeling than love, than wholeness, for her heart was no longer shredded. It had come back together into a puzzle of pieces meant only for one man, whose name was Sirius.

         He was here, living, breathing—and he still loved her. And that was all that mattered.

[oh-its-souichi]

Demolition Lovers

Part 1 

Dabi X Reader

Yo! 

I am reposting this from my main blog so it is easier to find. 

Also I gave the reader silver hair... for the sake of the plot so... congrats you now have silver hair!! woohoo

Warning- Fluff, a--n--g--s--t, mentions of childhood abuse, Dabi may be a lil more sensitive then normal. 

“Dabi!” he heard you yell in front of him, your long silver hair dancing in the wind. The two of you were much younger then, 13 to be exact. Dabi had stopped along the side of the creek the two of you ran along, looking down at the reflection of his face in the water. He was plagued by so many feelings, most he couldn’t identify then. For sure he knew he was angry. He didn’t want you to disappear, you were his best friend.  “Come on slow poke. We’re almost there!” your voice sounded again this time your footsteps stopped realizing your friend had completely stopped moving seeming to be distracted by something in the water.

"Dabi?“ You questioned skipping to his side, slinging your arm around his shoulder in an attempt to get his attention. “Hey whats wrong?” You said softly, studying the look he had in his almost florescent blue eyes. He looked angry but when you looked closer you could see his eyes shaking with sadness. You averted your eyes your chest aching, you never wanted to make him sad. “You should be happy! I’m finally  showing you my secret hideout after all of your begging and pleading!” you sung jumping in the air with enthusiasm, hoping your mood would rub off on him. It didn’t he was far to stubborn for that.

He grimaced shaking your shoulder off of his. Sure when he first found out you snuck off into a nearby tree everyday, labeling it you “Secret hideout” he was curious but ultimately discovered it’s location when he followed you after you left your house in tears one evening, tagging along secretly only because he was concerned for your safety. Even though he knew where you found solace in the world he pretended he didn’t often bugging you after school to divulge the location to him but he only used that as a lame excuse to talk to you, exactly as he had done today.

His eyes aligning with the grass hill across the stream. “Who will protect you when your gone?” His said sternly, not daring to meet your innocent gaze. You stopped looking at him curiously before dropping down to the ground running your hand along the grass, a small smile came to your face as the blades tickled your palm. “Hey why are you laughing L/N answer my question!”  You picked your body up off the ground, cupping his face in your hands. At first he tried to wiggle out of your grasp but stopped staring at you with an annoyed guise. You smiled brightly at him trying to be brave.

Inside you were panicking, you didn’t know who would protect you. Dabi was all you had. He was your night in shining armor as well as the person you looked up to most in life. He had taught you to be brave and fight back against those who caused you adversity. ‘Well as least fight until your weak little arms can’t fight anymore and then come get me.’    When that moment did come he would be blue flame blazing in hand ready to fight the battles you couldn’t. “I will protect myself!” You sang looking him in the eyes, the feeling of his soft skin under your hand bringing blush to your face. He looked at you noticing a bruise forming your right eye. ‘I’m not so sure’ he thought hesitantly, picturing the hell you would go through.

It was evident your home life was shit his first clue being all the bruises you came to school with, most of them being on your beautiful face and arms. He never asked about it, no one asked about it being perfectly content ignoring what they all knew what was going on. He was ashamed but he didn’t know what to do, how could a 13 year old boy go against a grown ass man.  Many times you would sneak over to his house at night, climb through his bedroom window, being able to slide it open due to a faulty lock and curl up at the end of his bed never taking a pillow or blanket. He would wake up every time you came in, your face would be streaked with tears and his chest would ache, knowing it had been a bad night. Carefully he would pull you to his side holding you closely to him. Those nights made him feel strong like you were a frail tea cup and he had to protect you from anyone that dare hurt you, that dare to crack your surface. The two of you never discussed your random sleep overs, it just became an unspoken thing.

“You can’t even use your quirk. How are you going to protect yourself? Oh wait let me answer that, you won’t your to damn weak.” His chest locked up with anger, his breathe becoming limited. You dropped your hands looking to the ground in shame. ‘That’s what your going to say to her right now? You idiot’  You sighed putting on a pathetic grin hiding the fact that his words whipped your heart to shreds. “Your probably right” You said walking away from his side for what you assumed would be the last time, hidden tears running down your face. He stood dumbfounded wishing he could have taken it back, wishing he could have said something nicer.

Now years later he found himself walking across the bridge that crossed the stream his eyes trained at the patch of grass the two of you last conversed. It was overgrown the cat tales grew tall in the water while the grass grew tall around. The sharp blades swaying gracefully in the wind hissing upon contact with their neighbors. It was vacant of you though. As it always had been. He didn’t know why he found himself wandering down here of why you still crossed his mind after 8 or however many it had been years. Your bruised face burned into his brain. ‘oh that’s right’ he thought feeling familiar rage boil inside of him. He thought of you because you fell through the cracks no matter how many beating your took at home no teacher, no HERO came to your rescue. They all failed you allowing unbridled evil fester while they smiled in their fancy costumes. He wouldn’t let that happen. Not again.

‘That’s enough there drama queen’ he mused wiping the thoughts out of his mind, he felt like his heart was going to combust and he predicted that if he put anymore pressure on it he would surely die of a heart attack. Something he really wasn’t needing to happen in his life.

He turned around heading back to his apartment his mind purposefully void of thought. He didn’t mind that it was nice to take a break from Shigaraki’s bitching and Toga’s excessive talking. Replacing there voices with the city life around him. It was pretty late, what time exactly he wasn’t sure the sun had bid the sky farewell leaving it to grow black and blue with misery. ‘Just like her eye’ he thought looking up at the darkness of the space above him, void of any stars. He shook his head at the thought dropping his gaze to the sidewalk. "Aw give it a rest won’t you” he grunted to himself wishing to push your memory away. ‘It doesn't even matter. If she took one look at me now she would scream and run’ He held up his arms staring at the purple scar tissue for a second before dropping them back to his side.

He continued walking, passing by a few thugs that yelled obscenities at him, spitting remarks about his skin but he didn’t have the energy to fight them. Work with the league had taken a physical tole on him leaving him exhausted. He stopped turning to face the men that insulted him. They were common criminals nothing really unique about their features. Both of them had block heads and stomachs that jiggled an uncomfortable amount when they walked never-the- less he committed their faces to memory. He would kill them on a later date.

The men stared back at him fists clenched prepared to block against an attack that never came instead Dabi put his hands in his pockets and continued walking. “H-hey where the hell are you going!? Not afraid of us are you!” The man on the right yelled elbowing his friend for encouragement. Dabi stopped “Oh no not at all” He cocked his head a wild smile forming on his face, his ultra blue eyes widening with power. “I’m just rememberin-” Before he could finish his sentence a brick dropped from above smashing the man on the right smack dab in the head.

“Shut the hell up will you! I’m trying to sleep!” A familiar voice yelled. Dabi’s mind raced for an explanation but was granted no answer. ‘I know that voice’ he thought looking up. His body freezing immediately upon the sight in front of him. You long silver hair was blowing softly in the breeze, like it did the last day he had seen you. Only this time it was longer and looked more pale. His breathe hitched in his throat ‘No fucking way’

You turned your head to the man you heard being verbally assaulted a smile ready on your face. “Hey I’m sorry if I interrupted your-” upon seeing his face the pace of your words slowed, your voice softening. He looked different then you remember. Where there once was soft skin now lay intense burns and scars but you didn’t mind. Yes you were curious where he got them but he was still as handsome as you remembered. "conversation.“ you trailed off wanting to jump out of your window and engulf him in a hug.

Dabi began mindlessly walking forward until he was underneath your window stepping carelessly onto the unconscious man who laid sprawled out on the sidewalk. He watched, his heart in his throat as a dusting a pink formed on your face. You were more pretty then what he had remembered. You features were striking only seeming to have grown more gorgeous in the years you spent apart.

"Hi Dabi” you grinned. Normally he would have freaked if someone had used his name so carelessly in public, he was a wanted man after-all. He didn’t care though your voice saying the nickname you gave him sounded like a song, heavenly music to his ears. He felt his younger self, the worried child that sat up in his bed at night sigh in relief  ‘She’s alright’

“Can I come up?” He said aloud in complete awe of your presence. You nodded your head eagerly. “Yes, please. There’s a stair case in the alleyway that leads to my door” He laughed a mischievous smile on his face. “That’s pretty damn sketchy don’t you think”

At his response you twisted your face scrunching your nose cutely. “oh shut the hell up ans grow a pair.” He laughed at your boldness holding up his hands “Alright, alright” Jumping off the mans back he walked across the sidewalk and into the dark alleyway. If it hadn’t have been for the light of a lone street lamp that reflected on the metal he was damn sure he would have never found the staircase. “Sheesh” he said out loud stepping onto the metal. It creaked under his weight. ‘She really shouldn’t be climbing up this shit everyday. I remember her being to damn clumsy for this type of shit’

You panicked seeing the mess in front of you. Due to your busy work schedule you were not able to clean as much as you would like not that your apartment was a pigsty it just needed some TLC. Running your hands through your wavy tresses you began picking up stray pieces of clothing that littered you floor slamming them into the laundry basket you kept at the foot of your bed as well as throwing away odd pieces of garbage you left on the nightstand.

Your apartment was more of a studio the only room being the bathroom. You had the normal works of a normal kitchen the only difference being it was tucked awkwardly on the far right wall. You took a shaky breath looking one last time around you. 'That will have to be good enough.’ you thought feeling your heart pounding in your chest. You had spent all these years thinking about him, wondering if you would ever see him again and now that your wish had come true you were scared shittless and ready to jump out your window. “Your such a wimp” You laughed at yourself.

Dabi knocked three times on the door listening for your footsteps. They were light and careful. The door opened in front of him revealing a very small but neat apartment and you. His eyes narrowed slyly noticing parts of you had certainly GROWN since you were 13.  You were wearing a long white dress that hugged your waist comfortably, revealing your curves. 'Dear god’ he thought smiling at you walking into your apartment, trying to keep his eyes off of your body.

"How long have you been living here?“ he grunted taking in the details of your apartment, it was decorated mostly with plants and paintings of various flowers. Very minimal.  "For about 2 years” you said lightly stepping around him, taking a seat at the edge of your bed. 'I walk by this shit hole everyday and I never say her?’ he thought eyeing how your grey hair fell down your shoulders like a water fall, metallic silver highlights popping out under the light. “Huh” he said sitting next to you. The curious little boy you used to know thrashed his way out of his body dying the scream the words that had been in the back of his mind for what felt like an eternity but he pushed it away. “What have you been up too?”

You head dropped down not sure what words to say, you hair falling suit until it practically covered your face. He followed the strands to where the ends touched you arm. Raised your skin he noticed a long pink scar that started at your wrist and traveled almost to your elbow. His eyebrows furrowed. Now that he was closer to you he could see your body was adorned with scars akin to the one on your arm. His eyes searched your body frantically noticed another one traveling from the top of your shoulder down to tour back. Another across your chest. Some of them seemed to fray off like someone had taken a ball pen hammer to your skin, causing it to fracture.

“Nothing really” you sighed finally bringing your eyes to his a weak smile on your face. To his relief there were no scars or bruises on your face. “Hm” he hummed deciding not to push the subject. At the end of the day it wasn’t any of his damn business anyway. “What have you been up to?” you asked your eyes taking notice of his own scars. He hadn’t had them then to the extent he does now. Your eyes lingered on his jaw staring at the staples that seemed to hold him together, sadness stormed in your eyes. He felt very self conscious under your gaze, part of him wanted to turn away and tell you to fuck off for staring to long but he didn’t he never could be mean to you. “Oh you know living the life. Look I’ve been wanting to talk to you about what I said the last time I saw you” He yawned his fatigue starting to get the better of him though he tried to fight it off wanting to right his wrong. You took note letting lose a giggle. “Let’s not talk about any of that right now besides your tired, go get some sleep then we will talk” you said nervously hoping to change the subject.

He nodded letting his back fall onto your bed, his sore muscles screaming out 'hallajulah!” as they were caressed by the soft cushioning of your bed. “Yeah its bedtime” you grunted closing his eyes. You paused for a moment not sure what to say, your eyes wider then the moon  'Wait is he going to sleep here?'  

“What the hell is that look for?? huh?” he laughed cracking open his right eye to look at your face. You looked completely shocked like you had shit yourself. “Oh nothing” You sang hoping to your feet. “Are you sleeping here?” you asked cautiously afraid you misunderstood what he was saying. “Well yeah. You owe me for breaking into my room and taking up have of my damn bed all those nights. Its my turn little lady” He said toeing off his shoes so he was able to fully get comfortable at the end of your bed, curling up like you used to. A euphoric smile grew on your face, making his heart skip a little. “Fair enough” you laughed remembering your younger self 'That was kind of weird’ you thought shaking your head in amusement.

Dabi watched you skip for the door your hand reaching out to flip the light switch. His eyes focused on the brightness of your hair until it was dulled by the light flicking off. You skipped you way back crawling under you blankets, you feet just above his back. Suddenly you began nudging him with you toes a mischievous look on your face. At first he thought you were still adjusting and the little bumps on his back would stop. That was his thought that until he looked up and saw your shit eating grin. “Hey fuck off up there” He laughed grabbing one of your stuffed animals that had fallen on the floor and chucked it, hitting you square in the face.

You erupted in adorable giggles hiding your face under the blankets in preparation for sleep. “Geez Dabi, that was a little violent don’t you think?” His skin tingled hearing his name exit your mouth all your other words lost to him. It was nice to hear that again. “yeah whatever” he said closing his eyes listening to the silence round him. The apartment was perfectly still the only sound to break through was the sound of cars echoing through your open window. In his mind he planned to eventually push you for the answers he sought but slowly. He didn’t want to rush you and it wasn’t like he would never see you again. Oh no, he planned on spending quite a bit of time with you. This time you wouldn’t slip away from him so easily. This time he would protect you from ever being hurt again.

From above him he heard you exhale heavily, the tell tale sign that you were asleep. Carefully not to rock the bed to much he sat up and began crawling across the bed until he hovered over you. Your face looked younger now, more innocent like he remembered. 'There she is’ he thought fondly tucking himself under the blankets next to you. He gingerly wrapped his arms around you and pulled you tightly against his chest,like he did when he was a kid only this time he wouldn’t let go.

[bookwormswillruletheworld]

Contains Far From Home spoilers

So I’m just going to yell out into the void here. Because ranting to my friends and having them sympathize is great and honestly I don’t know what I’d do without them, but the thoughts are still swirling around in my head so here goes.

I went to see FFH (again) with my dad and brother today. I went to see it a couple days ago with my friends and I wanted to go see it again just to see my brother’s face during the mid credits scene and how shook he would be (he wasn’t shook at all). So afterwards when we headed home, my dad starts talking. He said a couple of things that made me really mad.

1) he mansplained time travel in the MCU to me (I’ve spent more time and energy thinking about it than him. And I was trying to explain something the writers said)

2) He said anxiety should just be gotten over and conquered and anyone who said otherwise was doing a disservice 

3) He said SHIELD and Stark Industries were full of traitors and they should have vetted them more and then tried to mansplain behavior and how people act to me 

1) I am a huge nerd. I know random facts about a lot of topics but the MCU and Harry Potter are my forte. I have been trying to tell him stuff about the MCU since I got into it. I tried to tell him that Loki wasn’t evil but he didn’t believe me. He tried to explain it his own way. But look at the MCU now and the fact that Marvel has said he was Loki was under the control of Thanos. He wrote me off a fangirl who just didn’t want Loki to be evil. Now when I know what Marvel has said about timelines and the multiverse in the MCU and I’m being nerdy and talking about it and then he starts talking over me and telling me I’m wrong and how it works and all this bullshit and he doesn’t stop. tbh I’m tired of it.

2) We were talking about Evans and Peter having some anxiety in the movie and my dad starts saying that Evans is stupid for stopping being Cap over his anxiety. and how you just get over anxiety and conquer it and suppress it. that’s just wrong. you learn to deal with it and take some meds sometimes and you have bad days but you don’t just suppress it and pretend it will go away. Mental health is important. He doesn’t get stress either I talked about stress a while ago and he’s like you aren’t stressed. Yes I’m fucking stress. the level of stress I’m under was enough to have me committed 60 years ago. He doesn’t understand that the stress of not knowing how to do stuff but feeling like I need to know how to do it because I have to be THE BEST is enough to make me want to break down and cry. 

3) Stark Industries isn’t full of traitors. Mysterio isn’t a traitor per se he got fired before he turned on Tony. The others didn’t work for Tony during FFH. Not only that they fell for a con. They didn’t feel important and then Mysterio made them feel important. Mysterio was a psychopath with a narcissistic personality. Those people are a) really good at hiding it b) narcissists are generally charming and normal and people are attracted to them. My dad thinks that they should vet people more but you can’t predict how people will react. You can’t see how someone will react if you fire them and then their life comes crashing down around them. You can’t always see if someone has a narcissistic personality. You can’t always see if someone is a psychopath. And yeah these people are good so its hardly surprising that when you get a guy with so much anger and a group of people who have similar issues together they act together and he’s the leader. Don’t mansplain to me. 

This has been my rant thank you

[honestly-fuck-this]

Part 3

Disclaimer: I have changed certain things from the series and the book regarding Hannah’s suicide and what she leaves behind. There are no tapes in this story.

Enjoy! 

1 month later

Over the span of a month Alex and Scott had become very close friends. This was at first shocking to almost everyone who knew them but once they were able to witness how well the two got along everyone understood why the two were such good friends.

Alex and Scott walked into Liberty High together and made their way to greet their friends. Justin looked up the moment he heard Alex laugh and gathered his bag and textbooks before darting for the door, slamming into Scott’s shoulder in the process.

“Dude, What the fuck?” Scott yelled after him.

Justin simply raised his middle finger without looking back and walked out the door.

“What the fuck is wrong with him?” Scott asked.

Alex shrugged as they reached Zack.

“What crawled up his ass?” Scott asked again.

Zack shrugged his shoulders and quickly replied, “he always seems to be having a hard time these days.”

“Right,” Alex said.

“Yo,” Zack ruffled Alex’s hair, “you two coming over tonight?”

“Yeah, who else is coming?”

“Just a couple of guys from the basketball team.”

“Sure,” Scott replied and nudged Alex’s shoulder, “we’re in, aren’t we?”

Alex nodded and pulled out his phone to check his instagram feed. He scrolled mindlessly until a photo that Justin had posted the night before came up; in the picture Justin was wearing a white t-shirt, his varsity jacket, and a blue snapback that Alex was certain belonged to him at some point.

Scott noticed that Alex was no longer paying attention to the conversation and decided to sneak up behind him. “You should just talk to him if you’re so in love with the guy.” He whispered in Alex’s ear, effectively scaring the life out of him.

“Fuck off, Scott,” Alex shoved the other boy away and began walking to class, half-expecting him to follow. “It’s not that easy.”

“I think it is.”

By the time 8:00 o’clock came around Alex was driving to Zack’s house when he received a text message. He waited for the next red light to quickly read it and type out a reply. Scott was letting him know that he may be late or not go at all. Alex sighed and continued to drive until he finally reached Zack’s house.

Stepping inside Alex felt out of place; Zack was always kind to him and they got along very well but somehow being in his house makes him feel smaller than usual. Although Zack’s house is big, it’s not the size that makes Alex uncomfortable; maybe it’s the way Zack always seems too stressed and worried about everything staying in its rightful place that makes Alex uneasy.

Alex was wearing a light gray sweater and had tossed his black denim jacket over his left shoulder; he pulled on the sleeves until his fingers were covered as he walked into the living room where he could hear the other boys playing video games and their loud laughter.

Almost everyone in the basketball and baseball team seemed to be present; everyone except Scott and Bryce. Some of the guys were in the kitchen sipping on whatever expensive liquor Zack’s parents could afford. Others played poker at the dining table and a few sat on the couch playing video games. Alex noticed a figure sitting on the steps leading to the backyard, behind a large glass sliding door. Alex quickly recognized him.

He decided to look for Zack to say hi, Zack was slightly tipsy and offered Alex a drink from his own red solo cup. Alex shook his head and pushed the boy’s hand away.

“Scott not coming tonight?”

“He said he might not make it.”

“He alright?”

“Yeah.”

They engaged in a few more minutes of small talk before Alex made his way to the sliding door. The boy was still there. He slowly slid the door open and stepped outside. The cold air caused him to shiver slightly as he sat on the steps next to Justin, who was currently taking a drag from a cigarette.

“You smoke cigarettes now?” Alex asked.

“What do you care?” Justin said. He dropped the cigarette and put it out with the toe of his boot.

“Right.” Alex said. He grabbed his jacket and offered it to Justin as he looked at the boy currently only wearing a thin black t-shirt. “It’s cold out here.”

Justin shook his head and looked straight ahead at the distance. “Then you should wear it.”

“Seems like you need it more.” Alex placed it over Justin’s shoulders and sat sideways to look at the other boy. “It was yours anyway. You get to keep it.”

Justin turned his head slightly to look at Alex. He bit his lip, nodded his head, and quietly said, “thanks.”

Alex had been so busy trying to avoid Justin for the past month and a half that he didn’t notice he wasn’t the only one hurting. Justin had deep dark circles under his eyes, his cheeks looked sunken in, he didn’t style his hair anymore, he usually kept to himself, and had apparently also picked up a smoking habit.

“Are you okay, Jus” he asked cautiously.

Justin looked back at him almost incredulously then shrugged his shoulders indifferently.

“You don’t look too well.”

Justin huffed out a laugh, “thanks.”

Alex smiled and bumped his shoulder. “My balls will freeze soon so c’mon,” he said and stood up, “let’s go inside.”

Alex extended out his hand for Justin to take while the other boy simply looked back at him as if he had grown a second head.

“Do you need me to pick you up and get you inside? Because I’ll have you know that I’ve been working out and can totally do it.”

Justin laughed and stood up. He reached for Alex’s hand and interlaced their fingers together. They both walked back inside hand in hand, Justin looked around ready to snap at anyone who dared say anything but no one seemed to pay them any attention.

They found an empty couch and sat together as they talked about anything they could think of. Justin’s laughter filled the small bubble they had created and Alex felt a sense of pride he hadn’t felt in a long time. They talked and laughed most of the night until Justin suddenly looked up and saw Scott approaching them. His smile immediately fell and Alex looked back to see what had upset him.

“Hello, boys.” Scott greeted them.

Justin nodded his head and stood up; Alex looked up as he properly put on the denim jacket and made his way out the front door.

“Did I interrupt something?” Scott asked.

Alex let out a deep, frustrated sigh and rubbed his face with his hands, “I don’t even know anymore.”

“You could go after him, y’know?”

“What’s the point?”

“Just let him know that whatever he thinks is going on isn’t actually happening.”

Alex looked at Scott and smiled slightly before standing up and going out to start his car. He drove around for a little while and eventually found him near the exit of Zack’s neighborhood. Alex parked the car and walked quickly to catch up with Justin.

“What the hell do you want, Standall?” Justin asked sounding bored.

“Why did you just leave?”

“You should go back before Scott comes after you.”

“Why do you care what he does? Or what I do for that matter?”

“I don’t”

“Really?”

Justin turned around, causing Alex to almost crash against him as he had been following him closely, “really.”

“Good,” Alex shoved Justin away. “You didn’t care before, why should now be any different?”

Justin looked hurt by his words.

“Oh, don’t give me that face. It was you who cheated on me and fucked everything up.”

Justin looked taken aback. He exhaled and ran his hands through his face and hair. He walked to sit on the curb.

Alex followed him and sat beside him, “sorry.”

Justin looked up and Alex saw the tears pooling at his eyes, threatening to spill down his cheeks. “You’re right. It’s all my fault”

Alex didn’t respond.

“You look happy.” Justin whispered and the tears finally rolled down his face, “happier than when we were together.”

“I am happy.” Alex looked up and stared at the night sky. He felt the cold seeping through the thin fabric of his sweater but at the moment nothing mattered but themselves and the stars above.

“I’m glad he’s making you happy.” Justin sounded resigned as he uttered those words and Alex could hear the pain in his voice as it cracked slightly.

“I am happy,” Alex repeated. “But it’s not what you think. There’s nothing going on between me and Scott. We’re just friends, so stop looking at him like he’s done something terrible and being a dick to him all the time.”

“Sorry,” Justin whispered. “I wouldn’t blame you if there was something going on.”

“Are you saying you like Scott Reed for me?” Alex bumped his knee against the other boy’s thigh.

Justin laughed even though he was still crying, “you deserve to be happy.”

“So do you.”

Alex offered Justin a ride home; at first he denied but eventually gave in and told Alex he was staying at some cheap motel off I-84.

They drove in silence, peacefully listening to old rock ballads on a random station. Justin anxiously tapped his finger against his thigh and periodically snuck glances at the blond boy beside him. Alex looked good. He hadn’t gotten as skinny as he had and Justin was glad for that; yet when Justin took the time to really study the younger boy’s features he noticed that there was something intriguing about his face. His eyes no longer shone as bright as they had before, his smile looked the same but the wrinkles that usually appeared at the corner of his eyes were absent. Maybe Justin wasn’t the only broken one after all.

Justin remembers how hard Alex was on himself after Hannah Baker’s suicide. He blamed himself for not noticing soon enough to do something to save his friend. Hannah appeared normal until the very end, no one would suspect how bad things were in her mind because that’s the way she wanted it. Alex had made mistakes in the past but they didn’t make him the monster he thought himself to be. Alex had looked hollowed out, void of emotion at the time. He was just empty. Justin hadn’t seen that in a long time but tonight he did. Alex wasn’t okay. He looked just as empty.

Alex was supposed to take exit 43; the motel was only a couple of minutes away. Instead he pulled over on the side of the highway.

Justin looked at him questioningly.

“Let’s go somewhere else instead,” he suggested skeptically. Then he started talking and it was as if he couldn’t stop himself from trying to find a reasonable excuse for why he wanted Justin to spend time with him before he went home. “I don’t really wanna go home right now and I had already told my dad I was gonna stay at Zack’s even though I never really intended to. It’s okay if you don’t wanna go. I can still drop you off, I just thought that maybe talking would be good; but like i said you really don’t have to come if you don-”

“We can go wherever you want.” Justin interrupted, eyes never leaving Alex who simply nodded and started driving again.

They ended up at the beach. It was empty apart from a homeless man lying in the sand while he clutched a bottle of whiskey. At first Alex didn’t say anything and Justin didn’t push him to speak. They just walked together, side by side, until they came across a lifeguard tower. Alex climbed up first, he decided he needed to be higher and made his way up to the seemingly unsafe roof. Justin followed after him a moment later.

“Why are we here?” he asked.

Alex shrugged his shoulders and pointed at the sea, “it’s beautiful.”

“So you brought me here to appreciate the ocean’s beauty?”

Alex hummed in approval.

“It is pretty nice.” Justin agreed.

Alex smiled and laid on his back to look at the night sky, “I used to love going to the beach with Peter and my dad when I was little.”

“Really? What was that like?”

“My dad would go with a couple of his friends and he always brought us along. He never let us go in the water alone even though Peter always said he could take care of the both of us. He always told Peter he was sure that he could but he just wanted to swim with us as well. My mom was always busy at the hospital so she rarely ever went with us. Still, they’re all good memories.”

“Sounds nice. At least your dad was around to do those things.” Justin said sadly. He wasn’t upset that other children got to experience nice things with their parents, he was glad that Alex was among them. “If I ever have a kid, I’d bring them to the beach.”

Alex wanted to reply but all he could do was close his eyes and he could almost envision a future with Justin, a kid, and a god perhaps; having a picnic at that same beach but the memory was short lived as he instead said, “we need to talk about Scott.”

“Uh,” Justin said and stood up. He jumped down from the roof onto the creaky wood planks that made up the lifeguard tower. “No, we don’t”

Alex stood up and followed after him, “yeah, we do and we’re gonna talk about him right now.”

Justin huffed out a breath and jumped to the sand. He began to walk away and was stopped by Alex’s slim fingers wrapped around his bicep.

“It’s about Jeff,” Alex whispered.

Justin slumped his shoulders and exhaled, “What does Jeff have to do with anything? I thought we agreed not to bring any of that up.”

“Scott thinks Jeff was drunk.”

“So? Everyone thinks that.”

“It’s not true.”

“It’s not up to us to say anything, Alex.”

“He hates himself,” Alex spoke softly. “Scott hates himself because he thinks he let his best friend down. And he’s angry because he thinks Jeff lied. You and I know Jeff didn’t lie.”

“Alex,” Justin sighed his name as a plea for the other boy to drop the subject. He didn't.

“Scott needs to know the truth.”

Alex’s tone was firm. At that moment Justin understood that he wasn’t being asked for permission or even for his opinion. A decision had been made and nothing he could ever say would persuade the other boy otherwise.

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Hope you guys enjoyed. I will upload the end soon!

If you haven’t read parts 1 & 2, here are the links to both:

PART 1

PART 2

If there is a prompt you’d like me to do, you can request it here

[lispylizzy56]

Random shit cause I can’t sleep

It’s 1:46 am on a school night and here I am writing on tumblr cause I’ve cleaned my room and now im paranoid cause there’s way to much space so please enjoy my random bullshit.

There it is, the void. Finally opening fully after 5 years.

Goddamn I mean I’m grateful for the time to have figured out how to approach this… whole war thing, but I mean now I gotta figure out how to close it before I get impaled.

So… this tear in reality is actually quite pretty and I don’t know if I want to close it, or let every single reality just get fucked. I mean it looks like if Wolverine just swiped his claws real hard on someone’s shirt, and it’s like a glow-y purple dark abyss.

I get the vibe it’s throwing.

Okay I seriously need to start fixing this. Alright, just throw my arm out like Eleven from Stranger Things and scream? It shimmied, maybe less scream more arm? Oh, oh it stopped opening, I did something right, but why the hell isn’t it closing? Next arm going up! Fingers arched.. legs slightly bent.. holy fuck this is going to kill me.. and MAGIC!

Sweet Jesus that actually fucking worked.

This is definitely going to kill me, I mean honestly how the fuck is one meant to survive closing the fabric of reality. Well, at least I’ll die a bisexual female, role model to all young girls- oh shit but the patriarchy… damn what a shame. Probably for the better though, I’m a horrible role model.

Oh, a person just went flying past my head, and Jess is going after him. Good for her getting revenge! That bastard killed her dad I’m proud of her! God, her wings are so damn pretty, I’m jealous. At least she’ll live to be a perfect role model to young girls. Luna snap out of it! You need to focus on closing this bitch.

Ya know for boots that were made to have amazing grip I’m not getting that right now. Total rip off, I am so pissed I bought these. Oh, a boulder to hold me stable. How amazing.

I honestly didn’t think I’d live through this war to the very end but I mean look at me now, dying, a shadowy, tired, tired husk of a human. Really thought I’d die fighting the devil, or that Minotaur… fuck that would’ve been so much less painful than this.

Oop, my knees snapped.

Void update: More closed than before but giving me a ton of resistance. Oh? Hello Jess, what are you- BITCH I SWEAR TO GOD YOU GOTTA BE THE ROLE MODLE! I’M NOT LETTING YOU DIE! YOU ARE SO LUCKY I CAN’T MOVE YOUR HAND FROM MINE CAUSE I SO WOULD!

Fucking shit, this girl thinks she can just sacrifice herself to save all of us. The voids moving faster so I shouldn’t be complaining.

If I do make it out of this alive then Theo’s never gonna let me hear the end of it. Heh, him and his amber irises… *sigh* I’m gonna miss that when I’m dead. If I do live he’ll probably start crying, then doting over me, next he’ll get all pissy cause I almost died, but in the end he’ll bring me a coffee like the amazing boyfriend that he is. Jeez, I should’ve known shit was gonna hit the fan when we chose our song to be ‘As the World Caves in’ by Matt Maltese.

Oh shit, that song is literally what’s hap- OWWWWW son of a bitch my hand has literally fallen to pieces. Why the hell is this taking so long just fucking kill me, like please, have mercy.

Ey, speaking of Theo I can hear him yelling my name … oh the void’s closed we fixed the fabric of reality Jess… I guess that’s why my eyes are going black and I’m laying on debris……

[avengersohyeah]

Trace

Part 1

Masterlist

Trace Masterlist

Pairing : Dean x Male! Reader, Sam x Male! Reader

A/N : This is my first time ever writing a fic, hell it’s not even avengers related like my username. So please leave your reply, so i know if you like it or not. Also i haven’t decided yet if it’s going to be Dean or Sam cuzzz….. Um……

And the gif is kind of random so bear with me....

Normal POV

“No, grandpa…Jannice…Mark…wake up ! wake up !” No response, not even a move of their chest signaling that they’re still breathing. They just lays there bloodied on the floor. Scatered around the room with other children, he didn’t know what happened. He went for a grocery shopping an hour ago, not expecting to be welcomed by the sight of the people he loved, his family all dead. He just sat there in the middle of the bloodied room sobbing, screaming, knowing the fact that he’s really alone now.

(Y/N) trashed and turned on the bed, sweats coming out from every single pore on his skin, screaming and wailing their names, his family’s. He then woke up from the nightmare that once again invading his sleep. Looking to a clock hanging in front of his bed, it shows 5.30 am. ‘at least i’m not woken up in the middle of the night like usual’ he thought to himself. He decided to pack his belongings and continue his journey. To find the people that he knew could help him find the thing that killed his family. The famous hunters Dean and Samuel Winchesters.

He’ve been traveling around America to find the famous brothers. Some of the hunters he met on his way to find them gave him a little image of what kind of people he’s triying to find. Disguising as a hunter never got him questioned by asking about the brothers. He went from town to town where he heard strange death cases happened knowing better that those cases most likely supernatural influenced. But never once did he cross their path, he did once saw two mens in an Impala rode past him, thought thet they were just ordinary people but turned out they’re the brothers he’s been looking for. It’s been two weeks since that day and now he’s getting closer to them. He can feel it, no… he knew it because no matter where, he could see their trace. One of the things he can do, he could look into the past of someone, place, or things if he wanted to, hell he can even see to the future if he want to. And from the last case the brothers solved, he found their trace, he heard it himself where the brothers are coming back to Lebanon, Kansas.

After three days in town he finally found the brothers in the Bar that night. One of them is flirting and picking up on a random girl just to fuck them he guessed, and one of them is just sitting on the stool and taking his shots. Just like what those hunters said, the one that likes hitting on the girl is the older one, and the tall dude is the younger one. He decided to wait untill they leave, but damn that’s a hard thing to do. (Y/N) is not a Bar type of guy, hell he never once set foot in one. But tonight he had to keep up with the act to blend in, knowing well enough not to talk to them directly at least yet. He sat in a booth on the corner, hidden from the brothers, but he can still see them. 12.30 am the older brother leave to god knows where, surely to fuck that girl he was hitting on. But the younger one still there, turning down the girls that aproached him. (Y/N) don’t need to wait for long untill the younger winchester got up slightly wobly but not drunk.

He walked down the street, to the direction that (Y/N) knows leading to the woods. He watched as the giant wobling around following him in the shadows. He follows him far into the woods, until the time he turned and dissapeared. (Y/N) stood there, in the middle of the woods only companied by the light from the moon, he lost the men he’s been looking for. Then he decide to do what he know, look for his trace. Crouching on the ground and putting his hand on them. (Y/N) closed his eyes, concentrating on what he wanted to see, three minutes ago before that men dissapeared. He opened his eyes and his eyes shines the color of bright purple indicating his power on work. He closed them again after seeing what he wanted, the men did dissapeared into a place he couldn’t see. How in the world did he not see this coming ? They obviously put a ward to protect their place “Fuck!” He whisper yelled. Realising that the oods to meet them again is thin. He walked back to the direction to the town heading to the motel he temporarily stayed in.

Sam’s POV

Here I am standing on the other side of the ward concealing the Bunker, watching as the boy that followed me crouched on the ground and his eyes shone purple for a few seconds before they finaly closed. He gripped his hair and cursed in a whispered voice. I have no idea why this boy is following me, being a hunter for so long made me could sense if someone or something is up to no good. But this boy is different, aside from his glowing purple eyes, he doesn’t seemed as a threat. He seemed desperate to me, somehow he reminded me of myself and Dean when we lost Marry, when we lost John, and Bobby. I was sad and lost, i realised that the boy is on the young side, maybe early twenties. I watched as he disappearing from my sight into the woods.

I woke up late this morning, maybe around 10 or so. Dean hasn’t be back yet I assumed he done it a lot or he was doing it again after they woke up. I decided to change and go for a run, once i’m outside the bunker I wasn’t ready for what I see. There he stood, the boy from last night on the same spot he lost me. I stand there in front of him for a good three minutes observing him. Here under the sunlight I can see him clearly, his rather tall figure, he’s not muscular like me or Dean but I can sense that he’s not weak either. Then i looked into his eyes and somehow it looks void, not without emotion, but just void like there’s something he hides from everyone. I’m debating ewther or not steping out of the ward and talk to him, he doesn’t look dangerous at all, but Dean would be pissed if i reveal the location of the Bunker to someone we don’t know. I looked into his eyes again as he seemed to just stares straight to my direction. I there must be a reason for him to follow me, I need to know it, before Dean came back and beat the shit out of this Boy for following me. I was just about to step out of the ward but Dean is already back.

Dean’s POV

“What time is it ?” I woke up and asked to the blonde I fucked last night. She was already up and heading to the bathroom. “Oh.. it’s five past ten James, I’ll take a shower and after that maybe we can have a abreakfast ?” She asked me and batting her lashes. “Oh yeah… take your time..” Once she locked the bathroom I sillently put on my clothes and head out to Baby. I drove from the Motel leaving her there, don’t have intentions more than a good fuck from her. It’s been a while since I picked a random chick at a bar and fucked them, since so many things happening in my life I don’t feel the need to get attached to someone. I have Sammy and that’s what matter, we stick together just like what I think John wanted us to. Drive to the Bunker is rather short, when I entered the path leading there, I saw that men, a boy. Standing right in front of the ward surrounding the Bunker. “Shit ! what is he? Demon ? Angel how did he even find the Bunker” I mutered to myself as I grabed a gun and open Baby’s door. “Rise your hands ! Who are you and what are you doing here ?” I pointed my gun at him. I watched him as he turned and raising both of his hands. “Please don’t kill me… I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N) I’m here to meet you and your brother.” His voice sounded rather shaky. “Why are you looking for us ?” “I need your help… my family was killed and I need your help to find the killer.” “You think we’re a fucking detective? Go find a police !” I snorted at his answer, not believing what he just said. I was about to make a coment again before he cut me off “But the killer is not human!..” I just stare at him for a moment observing if his body language showing a sign of lie. But there’s none. “ How do you know it’s not a human?” “I… I know it because I can see the past… I saw him the thing that killed my family. And he’s not a human, I’m sure because human does’t have horns and tail.” He answered with a firmer voice. “You can see the past? What are you ? How do I know that it’s not just you making up stories to get trough us and kill us?” “I can show you the prove, just please don’t kill me and let’s talk…” He looks at me with pleading eyes, bigger that any men’s eyes I’ve ever seen. Bright under the sunlight but at the same time it’s void. It lacked of something, he looked lost just like when I told Sam that our Mom is gone, like when I see his eyes after we lost John and Bobby. He made me feel strange, he made me feel like I want to walk there to him and wrap my arms around him and comfort him. Just by looking into his eyes, I want to tell him eveything’s gonna be alright…’Wait What ???’. I lowered my gun and decided to give him a chance. “Talk!” I ordered him He flinced slightly at my voice, but somehow his reaction made something stir inside of me. I don’t know what but it’s strange. “I’m from (Y/Address/States) I lived with my grandpa and twelve other children, they’re al orphans. One day I came back from grocery shopping and the were already dead. Bloods everywhere, but they didn’t have any scars. It all came out of their nose, mouth, ears, eyes… it’s not a human’s work.” He started to tremble, but I’m still worried that it might be just an act. So I pushed him further. “You said you can see to the past, how do I know you’re not a witch and…” “I’m not ! You bastard… you think I would travel around America looking for you for help if I’m a witch ? You think that I came her to kill you ? Hell I don’t even know you…. I came looking for you because I’m desperate… Police surely can’t find him they never would.. And people don’t even belive me back there.. They always see me as a crazy boy whose family murdered that talks nonsense about demons. And this thing?..” He pointed to his eyes “…I got it from my father, a father that left me and my mom even before I can remember what he looks like! “ At this point I really don’t know what to do. I didn’t expect him to broke down sobbing in front of me. I feel guilty, to be the one that made him in this state. My body reacting faster than my brain, before I know it I was there next to him, attempting to hold him and tell him that I’m sorry. But Sam was faster than me………..

Tags :  @thegreatficmaster @supernaturalimagine @supernaturaldaily @waywardwinterfics @buckyywiththegoodhair @angryschnauzer @mrgrant9559-blog @kaylzjordan @rawritsmeh @supernaturalfanfiction-com @after-avenging-hours @winchesterenthusiast​ @themerlintrashcan​wayward-warrior-universe @themorningtrashcan @izzywinchester