#just pure pain

[nullsleepy]

I promise I’ve been working on my fics 🙏

Life has just been shitty lately 😔

[eliforelii]

New Usopp playlist!! yay

,, I can’t face the others .. I’m disgrace dammit”

aka highly inspired by water 7 Usopp cuz i seen some post lately and decided to feel the pain.

I’ll always be water7 usopp defender till i die. His feelings were so valid and he’s the most emotional strawhat so.. it’s just pain.

sooo if anyone wants to listen to it? here it is~

[seokteoksworld]

i love a little angst in my life

Girl Crush - MYG

Part of my Milestone Drabble Request Game. Find the request here.

Pairing: Husband!Yoongi X Wife!Reader

Theme: Angst, Unrequited love au, arrange marriage au

Wordcount: 1.5k+

Summary: It was and is Min Yoongi, who you fell in love with over the course of charity galas, executive meetings, quarterly gatherings, parties and so on. And he never once looked in your direction. But then again, there are very few people Yoongi really looked at.

Based on Girl Crush by Harry Styles (Cover).

Warnings: unhappy marriage, unrequited love, yoongi loves someone else. this is very painful.

Minors are not allowed in this blog!!

A/N: I had this idea sitting on my head for a long time now. Thanks to @jimintaemin for requesting this and giving me a chance of writing this. This is very angsty just as you wanted. Hope you like this. Hit me back with your feedback!:)

“I've got a girl crush… Hate to admit it but I’ve got a heart rush… It ain’t slowin' down”

“I assume you already know that this is a marriage of convenience, a negotiation between two companies. And I hope you will not expect anything from me. As long as it’s about responsibilities, I am okay with those. But don’t expect anything more.” Min Yoongi had said, cold and stoic, as if not conversing but stating some flat facts related to stock prices. 

He was not wrong. Whatever he had said are indeed facts and there was nothing you didn’t already know.

So you stood there, standing as still as a porcelain doll, ready to fall and break at any given moment. 

“And just so you know… I have someone.” he finished, diverting his eyes from you even though he never really looked at you properly. 

Although you were glad that he didn’t. You were more than happy that he didn’t witness tears rolling down your face, gathering below your chin and dropping down at the immaculate fabric of your wedding gown. 

Do tears leave stains? You hoped that was not the case. 

It’s not that you pictured a fairytale married life for you. You know arranged marriages come with more cons than pros. You knew you would have to pay the price.. but at the same time you had no choice. You were even more reluctant to do anything because it was him. 

It was and is Min Yoongi, who you fell in love with over the course of charity galas, executive meetings, quarterly gatherings, parties and so on. And he never once looked in your direction. But then again, there are very few people Yoongi really looked at. 

It was foolish for you to expect a man of his stature would not have someone to love, to be loved by. And it was even more foolish for you to think, you can be his wife, a real one.. and lead a life with him. 

However, now you know it’s impossible. And the realization made you feel helpless, caged and broken. 

“I won’t expect anything, I promise, but in return… Can we at least be friends? It will make things easy for both of us.” you’d uttered upon managing your voice and emotions. 

Only then he looked at you, like really looking at you with a small smile playing on his lips, he’d said “sure.”  

That was the moment you realized you had a girl crush. And it was the woman who managed to make Yoongi, your husband, fall in love. 

“I got it real bad.. Want everything she has That smile and that midnight laugh.. She's giving you now.” 

You thought, you would be angry. You thought every possible darkness would cover your senses, when you’d meet her for the first time. 

But wrong… you were. 

You had so many prejudices about this woman and you hated her with every drop of blood your body owns but all of it evaporated in thin air when she smiled at you standing right at your and yoongi’s door. 

She is beautiful, she is kind, she is loveable… and maybe everything else you can’t ever be. 

“Thank you so much, Y/N. I never thought I was going to see Yoongi ever again.” she’d murmured as she stood close to you in the kitchen, preparing dinner for you three. 

You had stared into her eyes then.. Trying to find mockery and a hint of brazen victory telling you, “you’re only his paper wife. I own his heart.” 

But again.. Again you were disappointed. 

In her eyes, there was no mockery, no pretense, no dishonesty.. Rather only understanding and kindness. Only then you understood why Yoongi loves her so much. 

Why will it never be you and always be her.  

That night as you stood at the balcony, enjoying the stinging sensation cold wind brought to you, you heard them laughing.

It was the first time you heard Min Yoongi laughing. Even though faint and muffled, you could still sense his happiness through the sound. 

Min Yoongi was finally happy... for the first time since the wedding ceremony... and you were not the reason. 

All of a sudden, you were jealous again, even though you were not sure if you had the right or not. 

“I want to taste her lips… Yeah, 'cause they taste like you I want to drown myself… In a bottle of her perfume”

You didn’t know what you were thinking when you invited her to your and Yoongi’s honeymoon. 

Both of your and his parents have been pestering you to set out for the trip. You have been using excessive workload as the excuse and you assumed Yoongi to do the same.

But a week ago, everything went south when Yoongi had a fight with his father. As a result, flights were booked, accommodations were chosen and you two were notified only two days prior. 

That night, Yoongi didn’t come back home. And when he did, he didn’t speak a single word to you. 

The visible frown on his forehead and the cold aura that oozed from him, made you want to make him smile, made you invite his lover to the trip secretly.  

She was already there when you two reached and you will never forget Yoongi’s reaction when he realized what was happening. 

The grumpy cold Yoongi broke into gummy smiles and giggles as soon as he saw her. They kissed right in front of your eyes and you silently cried. 

Oh how you wish, you could taste him too. How you wish, he would hold you like that, caress you like that. 

How you wish… he would love you like that. 

“I want her long blond hair… I want her magic touch Yeah, 'cause maybe then… You'd want me just as much”

 “Babe, could you please turn your head a little? Yes.. yes just like that.” 

You watched the man as he clicked photos after photos of the woman he loves, seemingly trying to document her beauty for a long long time.  

You watched her as her long blond hair flowed like a waterfall down her shoulder, wind ruffling it gently making her look even more beautiful. 

“Let’s take a selfie, will you?” she shouted at him and he chuckled. 

He buried his head in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent, he said, “you smell so nice.”

You wondered, what she smelled like, what perfume did she use to make Yoongi look this satisfied. You even considered asking her, purchasing a bottle and drowning yourself in one of those if that means Yoongi would love to smell you too, he would curl himself around you late at night. If that means Yoongi would want you, just as much. 

“I don't get no sleep… I don't get no peace Thinking about her.. Under your bed sheets”

“Where are you going?” confusion dripped through Yoongi’s voice. You stopped at your tracks and turned to face him. 

“I will sleep in the other room. You two should have your space. I will send her in as soon as I am there.” you smiled at him, even though your heart bleed invisibly inside your chest at the thought of how they would spend the night together. 

“No, Y/N. We will adjust. You sleep here in the suite.” Yoongi commented, as firm as a verdict, as he stepped towards where you stood. 

“But Yoongi, I am alone, what would I do with all this space?” you sighed. You definitely didn’t want to be left alone at the honeymoon suite, decorated for the newlyweds. You hate it. Totally loathe the decorations. Those giant red hearts had been mocking you since the moment you stepped there. You might tear those to pieces if you were left there alone, raising endless questions regarding such an act. 

“You have done enough. You have done much more than you needed to and I feel like I’m taking advantage of your kindness. So, please… stay here. Enjoy the stay. We will manage.” giving you one of his tight lipped smiles, Yoongi slipped out of the room to spend the night with his lover. 

That night when you slid inside the covers, which smelled awfully like him because he took a nap earlier in the evening, you started breaking down. 

Your hopes, your dreams, and your heart all started crumbling right before your eyes. You held the duvet tightly around yourself and pretended it was yoongi wrapped around you, it was Yoongi, whispering sweet things in your ear, it was Yoongi, telling you that he loved you. 

Somewhere you knew, Yoongi is actually doing all these things in real-time but.. Not to you.. Not for you. 

You closed your eyes, tears streamed down your cheeks and wetted the pillow. You imagined your life as her… as your girl crush… as the woman your husband, Min Yoongi, loves. 

“I've got a girl crush… Hate to admit it but I’ve got a heart rush… It ain’t slowin' down”

[opossum-disaster]

Me, when I lose track of time and space my wretched body resides in, after I had mere 3 hours of sleep:

[onyx-roses]

Don't mind me, just losing my mind over book 7 twst spoilers rn. 🙃

[the-muppet-joker]

my lord, how do you feel about Disney removing the Muppet Courtyard and Muppet Vision 3D movie experience at Disney? They’re replacing with with Monster’s Inc. :/

HA HA GOOD JOKE !!!!!! GOOD JOKE EVERYONE!!!!! FUNS OVER NOW WE CAN STOP PRETENDING!!!!!!

[nova-rpv]

"i have a sister now! thank you, granpa! we are going to do so much stuff together!"

(trans masc newborn shado btw. tag as ship and ill kill you)

[mantissfleur]

A redraw of the post-canon Hollow art I've made about a year ago!! It was also heavily inspired by/supposed to be a fanart for an amazing fic called "Lost kin" by @mostlydeadallday <3

[liauditore]

cw// implied character death, double life nonsense

because you are love itself.

[philsmeatylegss]

Yesterday, in NYC, a man lit a woman, who was sleeping in a subway car, on fire until she died. So the man arrested will be charged with terrorism as well as murder, correct? His attack was also threatening the lives of other homeless people (which it is assumed she was so). Surely he will also be charged with terrorism for scaring those people, right?

Or is it only terrorism when rich people are threatened?

Also, surely the fact the person who did this being an undocumented immigrant won’t be mentioned in every single news article about it, right? A woman was brutally murdered. Who gives a shit where the perpetrator is from, all we should care is that he is detained and punished.

Right?

We all agreed to this, right?

Or does race and immigration status only matter when a non-white and or undocumented immigrant commits a crime?

Same place, same police.

And I think we all know how differently this murder will be treated. And why.

[cacaocheri]

made a little meme to help me while i process through my grief. this realization was comforting in a way

[actual-changeling]

No you dont understand listen. listen. the hand. the HAND.

yes for a few moments aziraphale kissed back, held him, steadied him, but have you ever thought about what that did to crowley?

he feels aziraphale's palm press against his shoulder, feels him reciprocate the kiss, all he experiences in that moment is him, entirely and exclusively. his world narrows down even further to aziraphale, to him and just him.

for that heartbeat, that split second of oh, crowley hopes.

he hopes that maybe aziraphale changed his mind, this is it, they will stay on earth together, be together, be an us. everything he has ever wanted (which, let's be real, is aziraphale safe and by his side) is suddenly an option because he is kissing me back.

and then he stops. the hand lifts. he pulls back and that tiny, fragile spark of hope burns hot enough to destroy itself, any evidence erased when aziraphale looks at him and offers forgiveness - to crowley, he is offering forgiveness for loving him, telling him to stop, and that is the final crack that breaks him.

yet the last physical memory crowley will carry with him now is one of love and warmth and life, but all it symbolizes is a loss greater than anything he has every experienced.

[usertoxicyaoi]

KIZIL GONCALAR (2023 - 2024). EPISODE FOURTEEN.

[theroguequeen]

I need another daemon and rhaenyra scene where it's just them, reconnecting, just a few hours of escape for both of them, exploring each other's bodies again and again, whispering sweet nothing in high valyrian and daemon holding rhaenyra in his arms, because this time he is back while knowing that it will mean his death and trying to remember every move she makes, every little noise, her voice, the smell of her hair and the way her skin feels under his fingers, moments that just belong to them, little smiles and a lot of moans and feeling each other's presence before finally falling asleep and feeling safe even if it's just for the night. They deserve this so much.

[ihatechosingnames]

A few days ago, while I was walking back home from work, I started daydreaming and at one point I had a potential fanfic in the Batman fandom.

It all started with the death of the Joker by the hands of a very angry and tired and devastated civilian.

I went through a minimal backstory for this man, a retired army/navy man, who tragically lost his entire family (wife, daughter, son in law and two grandchildren) to the Joker in some sort of stupid game with the Bat (like you have tot minutes to choose who to save but the Joker is cheating and they all die) and since he already lost everything, why not making sure his family's killer tots in hell.

And I argued against myself about why it should be a civilian, a nameless one, to do the deed.

Batman cannot kill the Joker, because by doing it he stops being Batman. In UTRH he says "if I start, I will never stop" and it's kind of a disservice to the human and caring side of Bruce (which we are seeing less and less through the years) who wanted to help and care and believed about the sacrality of life (every life is precious). That man will break if he kills someone even by accident. In UTRH he sounds more like someone who is one murder away from becoming the worst serial killer in US. What the fuck. And instead of turning away from a life where the choice to kill or not is dangling in front of his life every single time, he keeps dressing up as a bat because through violence they can resolve their inner issues.

Nightwing is another one that cannot kill the Joker. First, he already did that, it's time for another to take his turn. Secondly, he is so much like Bruce but without being all dark that for him it will be twice as hard to accept that he did something like that. Yes, when he killed the Joker he was angry, he wasn't pulling his punches and the Joker kept goading him with Jason's and Tim's (supposed) death by his hands. He was devastated by Jason's death (in a more visible way than Bruce's) and the mix with grief, hate, regret and despair, knowing that another Robin died by Joker's hands again, made him snap. That will probably make him the most sympathetic to the story of the civilian who shot the Joker. Because once upon a time, for a brief moment, he felt the same fury and grief and hate against the Joker.

Jason, in my opinion, shouldn't be the one to kill the Joker. He was killed by the Joker, it's not on him to find justice or to enact revenge on him. And it also seems that half of the time, when he isn't thinking about being the Better Batman that Gotham needs, he is probably thinking that he is back from death only to get revenge on the Joker. If he kills him and survives good, if he kills him and he dies, I don't see Jason fighting to stay alive. His first plan in UTRH was prepped that or only two would walk out or none of them. It wasn't just "kill the Joker yourself or let me kill him" plus "if you want to save the Joker you have to kill me", Jason had prepared plenty of explosives to go all out. That was a test for Bruce, but also a moment of truth for Jason (please choose me) and Jason, for all his plans to be the Better Batman, to seize the criminal empire, he was more than ready to explode alongside the Joker and Batman if it was required. If this behaviour isn't slightly suicidal, I don't know. That's why I think that seeing the Joker dead by the hands of someone who did it to take revenge for his family, it's going to give a breakdown to Jason. And the brain, to metabolize that right now the only reason Jason is alive, his revenge, is dead (and it wasn't even Bruce), needs time to think so he checks out. He needs to find some other reason to explain why Jason is back from death and is still alive. Could it be able to send Jason in a dissociative state where he is still functional but also "no one is here"? I don't have a degree in psychology, but definitely will study more on the matter. It's very likely that some sort of revaluation for the brain will translate in a breakdown with lashing out.

And back to the mystery civilian I was debating around how he will be able to kill the Joker:

1. he waits until the Joker escapes again and just shoots him and then he goes to the police to get a death by cop kind of suicide.

2. it's a more collective effort since he is not the only one who lost someone to the Joker and so we have a group of civilians that all helped the mystery man to do the deed, by either helping the Joker escapes or helping the guy infiltrate Arkham and shoot the Joker in his own cell. And then he shoots himself.

Either way I don't see him alive, he already lost everything important, he lived his life and he did his job. Now, the only thing missing is going back to his family.

But what I actually wanted to focus on the fanfic, because this is just the context, is the argument that will follow between the vigilantes. How their own personal beliefs and experiences should actually weight in this matter. Who they are to judge someone. And there will be some judging.

Because Bruce will never believe that just some civilian wanted to shoot the Joker. He is so paranoid that he will not believe that it was simple for revenge. There must be a plan or something like that.

Meanwhile Jason wants to go and scream somewhere, far away from Bruce and the stupid case. And it's clear that Bruce is thinking that Jason is behind this because, in his mind, no one wants the Joker dead like Jason (there is actually a line).

[marauders-brain-rot]

How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)

Wrote a really heavy and quite depressing chapter today and needed to fix my brain by writing something cute and fluffy. So, here is 1,468 words of pure Wolfstar fluff. (No Voldy/war, honestly could be with or without actual magic, I don’t make it clear either way so if you want it to be a muggle au then it can be or if you just want it to be a no Voldy au that works too)

Sirius was almost certain he’d wear a hole in the carpet long before Remus got home. He’d been pacing for hours now, his stomach tied in knots thinking about that night and what would come of it. 

It was their anniversary, eight years together as an official couple and tonight would change everything for them. They’d had nights like these before, the kind that would imprint themselves on their memories and brand themselves across their skin, tying them irrevocably together in a way that no one else would ever understand. 

The first was when they’d confessed their love for one another, never ones to do things by halves, that had been the night they’d first gotten together. They’d danced around their feelings for a while before that, their friendship always coming first, until one night where they couldn’t take the tension between them any longer. There’d been a screaming match that ended in a passionate kiss and finally a confession of their undying love for one another. They ended that night wrapped together in Remus’s bed in the boys dormitory, foreheads pressed together and bodies intertwined to the point where it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began. 

The next one had been when they decided to get a place of their own, another night full of tears and kisses. They’d gotten a place with James and Peter as soon as they’d left school, wanting to be out on their own but still with their closest friends, who had really become more like brothers. The years spent in that flat had been some of the best of their lives, the nights spent drunk on the floor and sprawled across the furniture would live in their minds forever, as spotty as those memories were. But, they needed their own space. It had been Remus who had said something first, though Sirius had thought it for a while. He loved their little flat with their two best mates, but sometimes he wanted to be alone with the man he loved, wanted to spend nights and days wrapped in one another’s arms without feeling like it was an intrusion on their friends' lives. And so, after a very long and very tear filled discussion, they agreed to start looking. 

Then, they bought their house together. A sanctuary for the two of them that they made entirely their own. Their first night there together was one that he hoped would never leave him, even on his last days on this planet. They’d spent the day unpacking, James and Peter had finally left and the house was quiet at last, something they hadn’t experienced possibly ever. They’d gotten their favourite mugs down from their new home in the cabinet to the left of the sink, poured cups of their favourite tea, put on their favourite James Taylor record and danced in the living room to How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You) together with the biggest smiles plastered on their faces.

Then came the night they’d gotten engaged, something that had been magical all on its own. Remus had asked him, because of course he had. Sirius had been planning on asking Remus, but of course he’d beaten him to it. It was private and intimate and unequivocally theirs. If Sirius closed his eyes he could see the rose petals strewn about, the lanterns that lit their home, could smell the undeniable scents of his favourite meal that Remus had spent all day cooking for him. Remus had said some beautiful, wonderful, magical words about how Sirius was his guiding light in the sea of darkness, how he’d have lost himself entirely without him and how he never wanted to bear the pain of living life without the man he’d loved since they were only boys. Sirius kissed him then, couldn’t stand to wait another moment where rings didn’t adorn their fingers claiming them for one another and as soon as Remus placed the one he’d gotten Sirius on his finger, Sirius had sprinted up the steps and practically flown into their room to get the ring he’d gotten for Remus. That night they’d fallen asleep together, their fingers interlocked and rings pressed against one another’s. 

Then, they’d gotten married. It was small, intimate and beautiful, another day with magic thick in the air. Their closest friends were there, and even Regulus came as he and Sirius had mended their relationship years prior, it was everything Sirius had ever wanted. To be able to look into the eyes of the man he loved and tell him how he was the physical embodiment of magic, how he’d loved him for over a decade and still found new reasons to love him every single day, how he had never really known what any kind of love looked like until he’d looked into his eyes. They danced to How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You) as their first dance and kissed under the stars in the company of those that loved them most, soaking in every moment of the night together and relishing in the complete togetherness they finally got to experience. 

All of that brought him to now, tonight, a night that would change the rest of their lives just like all the others had. He’d cooked Remus’s favourite meal, gotten his favourite cake from the bakery 45 minutes away and set the house perfectly for the mood. Everything was perfect, everything would be perfect. So why did he feel like something might go wrong? 

He heard the key turning in the lock and felt his breath leave him, there would be no turning back now. As soon as Remus opened the door and saw Sirius standing there a broad smile spread across his face, the confusion coming next as he saw the setting around him. 

“Sirius?” He hadn’t expected them to do anything tonight, Sirius had been planning this surprise for a week now and though their wedding anniversary wasn’t for another month, he felt tonight was the right night. 

“Welcome home, love,” he kissed Remus’s cheek before leading him to the table laden with candles. 

“What’s all this?” His smile was the brightest thing in the room and how Sirius longed for it to last a lifetime. 

“Eat first, we’ll talk after cake.” Was it a slightly cowardly move to put off this conversation? Possibly, but he didn’t want dinner or cake to go to waste if the conversation went how he thought it would. When they’d finally finished eating and the record had stopped for the second time, Remus finally turned expectantly to Sirius. 

“Want to tell me what this is about, love?”

“I want to start off by saying that I love our life here, I love you and I love our home and I love the life we’ve built for ourselves.” He paused, needing his words to sink in before he continued. “And I want you to know that this is because of how much I love you and how much I know you love me, I want us to share our love.”

“Okay?” 

“Do you remember my cousin, Tonks?”

“Of course I do.”

“Right, well, she’s pregnant and she can’t take care of a baby right now. She’s just getting started on her career and she has her whole life ahead of her, she’s in no place to be having a child. But, well, we are.” He paused, waiting for his words to sink in and once they did he watched as Remus’s face transformed entirely. 

“You want to adopt her baby?” The smile on his face rivalled all others Sirius had seen, it practically lit up the world with how brilliant it was. All Sirius could do was nod and swallow nervously. “I would be honoured to have a baby with you.”

That night they laughed and cried, they held onto one another tighter than they ever had before. They got their favourite mugs down from the cabinet to the left of the sink, poured cups of their favourite tea, and put on their favourite James Taylor record and danced around the living room to How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You). 

And how sweet it was, really, to love and be loved in return. To have a lifetime of memories together already and a lifetime of them more to look forward to. To know that their love would live beyond them and would change the lives of not only themselves but also of this new little baby they would be adding into their perfect little world and any others they might end up with along the line. They’d chosen one another, chosen love, and chosen life, and how sweet a life it was turning out to be.