#just plugging in my tablet and using it is too tiring for me now i guess. ive reverted back to ancient mouse drawing techniques

[egg-baby-official]

obsessed with this fucking thing

[sabo-has-my-heart]

IMW Ch. 8: Thinking Too Much

I’m so sorry it’s been so long since my last chapter of “Isekai’d to the Modern World” so much has been happening since chapter 7! with my ask box closed I’m going to be trying to update this and “The Princess’s Royal Guard” more frequently. Without further adieu, enjoy.

Warnings: illegal fights, Ace getting ‘wounded’

Word Count: 1320 

     The spotlights were blinding, especially in the mostly dark room, but he’d started getting used to it. It was his third fight this week and honestly, he was half bored, half amused. Everyone he’d fought so far had been a pushover. People were starting to bet on him now that he’d won a few fights without breaking a sweat, though perhaps that was to be expected. He still didn’t understand the black, padded, fingerless gloves they made him wear, but at this point, he really didn’t care. If they wanted him to wear ‘protective gloves’ he’d wear them. It was good money. Paying you to feed him was easy, he was buying various clothes other than what you’d first got him, and your world had so many amusing toys and games! You’d even started teaching him about video games… after he promised not to break anything. He didn’t think he was going to break anything, after you plugged everything in. Heck, aside from the tablet he’d accidentally broken when watching a video, he hadn’t broken a single thing! And the video he’d been watching had been rigged! They’d wanted him to jump! Cute cat video his ass! That was like asking him to break your tablet! Besides, he’d just thrown it against the wall, it’s not like he’d done anything else to it, it’s not like he could do much else to it. All of his abilities seemed to have disappeared. His higan, his enkai, hotarubi, his HIKEN! It was all gone. He kind of missed being made of fire, being invulnerable to anything but haki and seastone. On top of that, he was starting to wish he could show you what he was capable of, to see a look of awe on your face as you watched him light up the night sky, see the way the light danced across your face. He was willing to bet you were the most beautiful person in the world in the light of a fire. Climbing into the ring, he wondered what people of this world would think of someone just randomly summoning fire. They’d probably lose their shit. Despite his distracted state, Ace was able to end the match without issue, though not without minor ‘injury’, his opponent managing to take advantage of Ace’s lack of attention and get a few hits in before Ace knocked him on his ass. A few bruises, nothing serious, but you’d probably sigh and scold him. It was sweet how much you worried about him, how you paced your dorm room until he came back and immediately inspected him for any problems. Though this would be the first time you found anything. Growling, he heard the announcer introduce another fighter. So far, they’d only given him one opponent per fight, but perhaps he was becoming too good. The crowd became chaotic when the announcer called out his next opponent, many of them rushing to make bets. His guess, this new fighter was quite a bit stronger than those he’d fought before, meaning people thought he was going to lose. Chuckling, he shook off his thoughts. He’d taken 2 or 3 hits last fight and now people were rushing to make bets against him, it would be best if he paid attention. 

     Walking into the dorm, he sighed, giving you a slightly tired smile when you turned to him. Almost instantly, you were by his side and forcing him to sit in a chair as you looked him over. He had a number of bruises forming across his stomach, another on his cheek, and a small graze on his shoulder, but was otherwise fine.

     “Sorry, tough night. They put me against 3 different guys. I think I’m a little too good.” Ace said with a chuckle as you tended to his ‘injuries’, “don’t worry, it's mostly just bruising. I’ve had worse. A lot worse. You should have seen it when I fought against Pops. One time, he threw me through a wall, it was crazy.” Ace said, shaking his head as he remembered when he fought against the man that he called father. 

     “Are you sure you’re okay? The bruising isn’t too deep? It doesn’t hurt too bad?” you asked, biting your lip as he laughed.

     “Are you kidding? My little brother can hit harder than this! Man, you would’ve lost it if you knew how hard gramps could punch! That man’s ‘fist of love’ could knock down fully grown trees with ease!” he said, shaking his head, “I’m fine, trust me. This was nothing. I probably wouldn’t have even gotten hit if I was actually paying full attention. The first guy I wasn’t paying a whole lot of attention to at all.” he said with a shrug. You sighed and shook your head.

     “Then pay attention next time, dumbass! I don’t want you getting hurt because you were lost in a daydream.” you said, lightly flicking his forehead.

     “Even if it’s a daydream about you?” he asked, giving you a flirty wink. 

     “W-why would you be daydreaming about me? Stop saying ridiculous things!” you said, hurrying away to the kitchen, “I’ll make us some food. I’m sure you’re hungry.” you said, starting on something simple. Ace smiled at you, his head tilting adorably to the side as he watched you. He’d been here for a little while, living with you, and he’d learned quite a bit. Not just about your world, but about you. You were nice, kind, sweet, smart. He wondered why you didn’t have someone special yet. Though perhaps that worked out well for him. No one to question why you had a guy staying with you, no one to bother either of you with dates or affection, just the two of you. While he was still looking for a way home, part of him knew that he wouldn’t want to leave you. At the same time, he knew you wouldn’t leave, you had too much keeping you here. If he found a way home, he’d have to leave you and that thought had his chest tightening. Placing a plate of food in front of him, you snapped him out of his trance, the young man smiling at you as he dug in. 

     Laying on the couch, he stared up at your ceiling, it was growing closer and closer to the end of the semester, meaning that you’d, hopefully, be getting a bigger place soon, meaning he’d get his own room. Not that your couch was uncomfortable, hell, he’d slept in far, far more uncomfortable places before, but you’d insisted that he be able to sleep in his own room in his own bed. Vaguely his thoughts wandered to his last memories of his world again. No matter how hard he tried to remember, they were hazy. He’d been at Marineford, on the execution platform. Pops had come to rescue him, then Luffy… the boy had reached him, Luffy had actually managed to free him. Shaking his head, he smiled. It was nice to know how far Luffy had come, how strong he’d gotten. Thinking back, he sighed. He’d been running back towards the others, been trying to escape. He remembered Akainu. The man had said something… Ace’s brow furrowed as he tried to remember what the man had said. He knew that, whatever it was, it had bothered him, but he couldn’t remember what, couldn’t remember what had happened next. The only thing he could remember clearly after that was waking up in your dorm room. Running a hand through his hair, he squeezed his eyes shut. He needed to stop thinking about this so much, especially when he was trying to sleep! Pulling on the blankets, he rolled over, easily falling asleep. He still had studying to do, things he needed to know to catch up with your world, he could figure out his hazy memories later. It probably wasn’t important anyway. 

[she-karev]

Out of Nowhere

Previous Chapter Here

Chapter: Two of Six

Age Rating: 12+

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

WARNING: THERE ARE ELEMENTS OF STALKING AND HARRASSMENT IN THIS CHAPTER.

AN: Hey guys I hope you vote on the Deadpool vs Wolverine poll and reblog it to see which badass Canadian would win. I don’t know about you guys but Deadpool and Wolverine is the only movie this year I am looking forward to. Hopefully Disney doesn’t ruin it.

Summary: Amber works at the pit during the hacking and gets scared by texts coming from her stalker and Andrew comforts her.

Words: 3316

The flatlines coming from the monitors fill my ears but I push through it as I double check beds 1 to 4 to see if the patients are coding or not. The patients are freaking out and I can’t say I blame them. I would be freaking out too if my office visit turned into The Purge. I would normally update my patient’s chart on the tablets but it locked us out. This just went from some fluke with the monitors to a full-on cyber-attack. If I wasn’t so tired, I would be freaking out right now.

“Will you try and calm these people down?” Hunt orders me and I nod.

I clear my throat and speak loudly and clearly keeping a calm face, “Don’t worry everybody everything’s fine! It’s just a little technical difficulty that we will nip in the bud! Just relax and we will be back to check on you!” I turn toward the station and go to Hunt and Kepner showing my real distressed face and ask under my breath, “Okay I am keeping my voice calm but I am freaking out right now! What is going on?”

“That is what I am trying to figure out.” Hunt explains with the phone to his ear, “Tell the other interns to keep monitoring the patients since our monitors are down.”

“Okay.” I quickly approach Dahlia who looks freaked out as well, “Hunt says to monitor people by hand aka how he did before black screens became popular.”

Dahlia exhales, “My mom told me technology would be the downfall of mankind. She would be happy being proven right.”

“Let’s just keep our heads cool before we get blown up by Skynet.”

“I need to get bed 5’s records he says he’s on prescribed Flovent and needs a refill. I tried the tablets but-”

“They locked you out?” Dahlia nods, “Me too let’s try the cart.” We go to a medical cart with a monitor to try to access the records for my patient in bed 2 but I groan as the website is locked here as well, “Damn it!”

“Hey are you guys having trouble with the charts too?” I look to find Andrew standing in my right side looking at the monitor as well, “Is this just us or is it other floors too?”

Dahlia shakes her head, “I-I don’t know this just happened and-”

We stop talking as the screen fritzes suddenly causing me to stop touching the keyboard in shock. A black webpage pops up and words appear in a green font that I read aloud as more words are typed up, “Hello Grey Sloan Memorial. Currently we control your hospital. We own your servers. We own your systems. We own your patients’ medical records.”

“Skynet.” Dahlia says in a fearful tone.

Andrew keeps reading, “To regain access to your medical records, you need an encryption key which only we have. You will need to pay us exactly 4,932 Bitcoin to retrieve the key?”

I look at the screen with my fear coming back this time instead of fear for my life it’s fear for the patients. I read the last statement, “Failure to pay this ransom in a timely manner will cause your records to be destroyed and your systems to be rendered inoperable.” The screen turns off and I see Kepner calmly pulled the plug.

“I know you all are scared but let’s not let our patients see that.” We look at each other in worry, “Continue monitoring the patients while I go talk to the chief.” She leaves us by the cart and we stand there in worry.

I tsk, “We’re screwed.”

“Yep.” DeLuca agrees.

Dahlia nods, “So screwed.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I stand outside the pit with the crowd of nurses, interns and residents who all pass around clipboards with paper charts attached to it. I get mine and pull out my pen feeling like I just transported back to 1995. I was born in 93 so paper charts evolved into electronic by the time I started premed and I’ve gotten pretty used to it. It’s safe to say writing my patients vitals and BP will feel foreign and strange. I’m sure Alex will feel right at home with a pen and paper.

“Take a paper chart. Make sure your pens work.” I click my pen and see that it works.

Dr. Kepner opens the door, “We’re going to paper charts?”

“Well, it’s worked pretty well for two centuries Kepner.” Webber faces us all and speaks, “Okay, everything gets written down people and the phones are down so share cell numbers.”

Dahlia whispers to me, “You and DeLuca already took care of that.” Andrew is right next to me and unfortunately, he has the ears of a hawk and looks at me confused. I discretely stomp Qadri’s foot causing her to groan lightly, “I see we’re not at the joking place yet.”

“Shut up and type your info.” I order as I hand her my phone and she does that. DeLuca looks at me and I shake my head indicating the bad timing and we focus back on Dr. Webber.

“Now gather up every portable monitor that we have anything that is not already attached to a patient. They go to the OR’s first, then the ICU, and then the ER. She-Karev.” I look up, “You, Qadri and DeLuca will be in charge of that.” DeLuca and I nod and Qadri looks slightly upset for some reason but I ignore her.

“What are we using for ER monitors in the meantime?” Kepner asks.

“We use the old-fashioned kind. You are our monitors now people. I want you to rotate through your patients. I want you to take and retake heart rate and BP. Keep track on paper and notify Kepner of changes.”

“All right everyone, back to the Stone Age.” Kepner quips.

Webber looks at her offended, “Disrespectful.”

“Sorry.”

“Okay let’s go.” DeLuca tells me and Qadri and we follow him down the hall and I still see the sour face in Dahlia.

“What’s the face for?” I ask her as we walk side by side with DeLuca, “I mean other than the whole hospital going to hell.”

“If I wanted to be a third wheel for a couple I would have stayed in my dorm in college.” I roll my eyes at her and DeLuca raises an eyebrow confirming his suspicions.

“You told her?”

“No I did not.” I explain as we walk, “She figured it out apparently, she knows sign language and Darcy was telling me to cool our sexual tension with her in the room. You have to stop that by the way.”

“Stop what?” DeLuca asks.

“I’m making a rule when we’re in the same room in a professional setting you don’t look at me like a wolf salivating over a cartoon ham.” Andrew chuckles but I don’t have it, “I’m serious if we’re gonna keep seeing each other and work together we have to keep a church and state policy and that includes eye contact.”

He looks at me in slight amusement, “You can’t make rules about my eyes and you know I don’t stare at you like some creep. Right Qadri?”

“Don’t bring her into this.” I snap, “Who cares what she thinks?”

“Honestly you could avert your gazing Dr. DeLuca.” Dahlia says and I look at her pleasantly shocked.

“I care what she thinks.” I grin at DeLuca who scoffs.

“I’m sorry but ever since I found out I noticed you leering at her like a teen virgin face to face with his mom’s bra catalog.”

I grin at her supporting me, “And I see an upside to having someone outside in the loop.” 

She groans, “And now I’m getting in the middle it’s how it always starts.”

Andrew groans clearly seeing Qadri as a nuisance, “Okay Qadri go back to the pit, tell Dr. Hunt and Kepner we got this.”

Dahlia looks relieved, “Thank you.” She walks back to the pit leaving DeLuca and I to our task. It’s bad enough some stalker kept me up all night but now I’m running on fumes trying to treat patients without accessing their records, ordering their meds, ordering their labs or even paging someone.

I inhale sharply and rub my tired eyes, “Do you think anyone would notice if I shot up my system with adrenaline from the cabinet?”

“I think they would if you said it out loud like you did just now.” I groan, “Are you okay? You look like you’re struggling.”

I shrug him off, “I’ve been better I’ll be fine don’t worry. I am not good company right now so we should go our separate ways before I say something I can’t take back.”

“Look if you want some rest, I can cover you so you can get a few hours in the lounge it’s no problem.”

“It is for me.” I snap at him and I realized I broke my rule on avoiding Andrew so he doesn’t see this tired bitchy side of me. I want to stop talking but I can’t, “I can’t afford to sleep on the job especially now. Everybody thinks I got here because I pulled my brothers name in a job interview and my richy rich parents paid for my straight A’s. I prefer it that way because revealing my real past will get me stares for the next century but I want to prove those asshat’s wrong.”

“I’m just trying to look out for you that’s all.” Andrew explains.

“Well don’t.” I stop to face him and glare at him in the middle of the busy hallway, “I don’t need be looked after like a child and I don’t need you telling me what’s good for me or not.”

Andrew looks at me confused, “I’m not doing anything wrong I’m just saying-”

“Yeah well your saying doesn’t mean jack squat.” I didn’t want to say that but my defense mechanism combined with my tired state is making me as tolerable as a tiger, “You don’t know me as well as you think. This is just a fling don’t get carried away DeLuca.” He looks at me hurt and I feel bad for what I just said and I look down at the floor in regret, “I told you I was trying not to say something I can’t back.”

He purses his lips, “Yeah well how was I supposed to know? This is just fling right? I’ll take the portable monitors in the ICU you take the O.R.’s.” He walks away from me in the direction of the ICU and I take a deep breath to keep my emotions in control before walking to O.R. 1.  

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I check the portable monitor in O.R. 2 making sure it’s not networked with Dr. Grey behind me doing her splenectomy with Glasses assisting. It’s sad that even he got to scrub in on his first month but I try to keep my temper in check after I pissed Andrew off. I don’t know why I said this was just a fling when last week I asked him if we were dating and was happy when he said yes. I guess it’s because my tiredness is bringing my deep-rooted insecurities out plus there’s the lingering fear over my stalker. I try to brush that off as I focus back on the problem at hand.

“Are you sure the monitor isn’t necessary in this surgery Dr. Grey?”

“We’re okay without the portable because the anesthesia’s monitor is working.” Grey explains and I exhale in relief.

“Okay good because the hacking is affecting the computers, the phones, the labs-”

“The labs are down?” Grey asks in shock.

“Yeah except for the NICU wing everything with a screen is compromised and the patient files are locked so we’re working like it’s 1976. It’s like the dark times right now.”

“You’ll survive She-Karev.” Grey says nonchalantly as she continues the surgery, “Just remember a time before you carried information in your pocket.”

“It’s gonna take a while but I can dig around my memory for that.” I grab the portable and wheel it out of the room and give it to an ICU nurse. I briskly walked out of the ICU and I hear a ding come from my phone. I pull it out of my pocket and see that I got a text message. I open it and I see the contact is marked unknown causing my spine to fill with chills and I stop in the middle of the hall.

It takes me a few moments to steady my breath and open the message board to see that it’s a picture. A picture of me in the hall right now with my back facing the camera. I quickly turn around but nobody is pointing their phone in my direction as everyone is working to keep some semblance of stability right now. My breathing shallows as I realize he’s here inside the hospital and he’s within reach.

I swallow the bile in my throat and briskly turn left so I can walk toward the elevator. I push the double doors and exit the ICU. My phone dings again and I inhale sharply before looking at the new picture this time it’s me a few seconds ago pushing the doors open with my back toward the camera again.

I quickly look behind me but nobody is there so I increase my pace. I look around for a security guard but nobody is in a blue police uniform and my brother’s ped’s wing is one floor down. I try to keep my breathing under control as I power walk across the hall towards the elevator that feels like a mile away. I finally reach the hall station and frantically press the down button waiting for the doors to open for what feels like forever.

I’ve never been so relieved to hear the dinging sound as the doors open, “Finally.” I quickly get inside the elevator and press the Lobby button opting to find a security guard. My relief is brief because I hear the dreaded message ding and I pull out my phone. The next picture is me inside the elevator with the doors wide open from the angle it looks like he’s about 10 feet away. I press the Close Door button repeatedly and the doors close agonizingly slow until an arm suddenly stops it from closing fully causing me to shriek in fear and back up in the corner.

“Amber?” I look and see that it was Andrew who stopped the doors from closing. He looks at me in concern despite me pissing him off not even an hour ago, “Whoa hey are you okay?”

I swallow and realize I must look scared out of my mind because my heart feels like it’s coming out of my chest and I just shrieked like some final girl. The elevator doors close and I am left in a small space with a guy I like who probably thinks I’ve gone insane. It’s not my fault I’m in this state and even though I don’t trust my peers with this dilemma of mine I know I can trust him.

“…No.” My voice breaks slightly with this one word from the fright fest I just experienced and Andrew can see my distress.

He rubs my arms and I register I’m shaking like a leaf, “Come on talk to me, what’s going on?”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath before pulling my phone out and handing it to him. He takes it and he can see what’s wrong from how his eyes widen as he scrolls through the board.

I find my voice and explain my situation, “He followed me last night while I was driving. I was scared to go to my place and my brothers so I drove back to the hospital and spent the night here. He kept calling me and texting me and I only got like an hour of sleep hence why I’m so cranky. He even called me at the pit, I-I tried blocking him but he found his way back.”

“Did you call the cops?”

“No I didn’t.” Andrew presents a question on his face, “They don’t arrest a creep for calling all hours of the day. I know this it’s happened to a lot of my friends.”

“You don’t know who it is?” Andrew asks with his concern growing making me feel guilty for snapping at him.

“No, I don’t.” I’ve racked my brain through the assholes I’ve dated and none of them are stalker types, “I don’t know who it is and why he’s doing this to me all I know is that he is making it his mission to harass me into insanity.”

My distress shows more as I explain this to him. I’ve tried to put up a tough front so I don’t break down in the middle of the hall. But talking to him and explaining it to him is making it more real and I realize my life is in danger causing me to take a deep breath so I can keep steady.

“Hey look at me.” I look up at him and see the same face he had on our first date when I had a panic attack, “Breath in and out.” I do that and I’m slightly calmer. I shake my head at this situation I’m in. I think ‘what did I do to deserve this?’ then it occurs to me I didn’t do anything to rattle some defective lunatic. It irks me that I feel like this is my fault somehow and I deserve this.

“It isn’t my fault.” I say to Andrew who nods and pulls me in for a hug that I appreciate even when I’m scared, “I’m sorry for what I said it was-”

“Don’t worry about it.” Andrew rubs my back as I lean my forehead against his shoulder, “I get it you don’t like being vulnerable. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out keeping up a wall and pushing people away is how you survived. I may not know you that well but I know that.”

“I’ve been alone most of my life.” I confirm bitterly, “It’s all I know and it’s worse when I feel scared.” I shudder at the mention of my stalker and he senses it because he leaves a tender kiss on the side of my head.

“It’s gonna be okay.” He continues rubbing my back in a way that makes me feel safe and keeps reassuring me, “I’ll help you talk to the cops and we’ll figure this out. You don’t have to do this alone, I’m right here.”

“Thank you I…I really do appreciate it.” It’s hard for me to admit that but he needs to know his attempts aren’t for naught. He kisses the side of my head just as the elevator doors open and I turn to see Taryn Helm, Levi Schmitt and Dahlia are out waiting. They freeze in place and I realize they can see me and DeLuca in an intimate embrace and probably saw him kissing me. I pull away from him and he looks at me sheepishly clearly as embarrassed as I am right now.

The three of them boggle at the scene and it takes a moment until Helm speaks with a condescending tone, “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Dahlia clears her throat at the awkwardness as the only one not surprised by this revelation. Glasses is still there with his mouth open and no words coming out except ‘uh’.

I roll my eyes at them and grab DeLuca’s hand getting us both out of the elevator. I don’t care if people are watching us holding hands because at this moment right now I don’t give a fuck.

Next Chapter Here

[kifu]

I'm feeling incredibly apprehensive and there's no real reason for it. I hate it.

I decided a thing. I really, really want to do one painting a month this year. Historically, I'm awful at long term goals. Awful.

I also want to participate in NaMo - National Model Painting Month. Which is a little hilarious after giving up first on Inktober within days, and then NaNo in just as little time. But.

The painting a month thing - I want to use my own photos of, presumably, around here. I think that I can successfully take one pretty scenic picture a month. I have one that I plan on using for January. At least, the color scheme works just fine. I need to go back out there and get a better cropped shot and adjust.

With that photo reference, I think I shall also add a unicorn. Random unicorns. Because I can. I also already have a reference photo found. Cute little Welsh Cob with beautiful lighting. Really feeling a high stocking chestnut on this one. I'll get some good purples in there, and the yellow lighting will really make the copper coat pop. It'll look great with the sky.

And with these paintings a month, maybe I actually sell art? Like, actually have physical stock to sell. And if i feel like doing digital art (which I do, it's just complicated relationships with ... doing), I can use MY characters. Maybe eventually print out prints, sell those for cheap, too. Something like 200% cost of print cheap.

I dunno. I got a raise. I'm just tired of struggling. And this is art I already want to do. If i can sell it, awesome. But convincing myself to do a thing? It's ... so hard. Plugging in the tablet is a chore, let alone paints. Probably start off with acrylics simply because they're easier, even though i long for the blending capabilities of oil.

Which brings me to NaMo. I'll be painting my Georg in the pintaloosa bay. I'm desperately trying to strip him now and outlook isn't great. I don't know what I'm doing. Reprime in black if I can get the bubbles and cracks out of him, and he'll be good to go. He's prepped enough besides; I give up. He's BETTER prepped than other customs I've seen of him that go for more than what I plan on asking (minus primer fucking up on me). Which, depending on how this goes, I don't want to take less than $300 for him. $350. He's hair by hair. If I pull it off, he should be worth double that.

Turns out that I bought GOOD oil paints a while back. I think I NEED to use those on Georg. Maybe do whites in acrylic, pinking in oil on top, but base in oil. Because that bay will be demanding and I know how much acrylic will want to turn on me.

I just. I need to do it. I need to do things. Maybe it's the seasonal depression talking, maybe it's the overworked burnout talking, but I'm tired and I love the idea of doing, but I'm stuck again.

[lapeaudelamemoire]

It's Monday again and the dread 'I want to die' is back; and the weight, and the guilt.

Again, I don't think this is normal, and I don't think this is okay.

Thoughts are messy and this fucking text box is slow and it's annoying the fuck out of me but -

So I'm supposedly in the mental health sector, right. But no one is talking about Gaza and Palestine. Where do we go to talk about what we're witnessing in the world, mass death and genocide going on in real time? Why are we not talking about it? Why are we supposed to just turn up to work and school and somehow... not talk about it?

And then there's the utter and absolute anxiety because going to work (placement supposedly, but it is work) or any social event means no one is bloody wearing a mask, and I fucking know that they haven't been wearing one at any time outside. And I still have to drink water and eat, at least. I've been dehydrated for most of the last week because I've had to be outside, which means I don't drink water while I'm walking around.

And the community health place - ironic, I know - I'm on placement at has the fucking open office cubicles set-up, and that means I can not only hear everyone all of the fucking time, and people are on video calls at their desks, and also what the fuck what about client notes and privacy?, but also that that means everyone is fucking breathing into the same space, and no one is wearing a mask. So I can't drink water because that would mean having to take my mask off, and since we don't get to just have a room to ourselves the whole day, I guess I won't be drinking water the whole day somehow either.

I'm so fucking tired.

And I got a new laptop because my old one was whining - literally making a high-pitched whine when it was plugged in and charging and on at the same time - but this new one I got off Marketplace (FB) I don't seem to have taken to quite as well, I have to press hard to type and I keep missing keys, and the keys are spaced further away than before, and the keyboard layout is a little different, and so it's not as good for me to type and frustrating too, and also, well,

I got given a work laptop tablet thing so now I have to carry both of them around because even the cubicles are technically ones you need to book for the days you're there, like the rooms you have to individually book each time for each individual session with clients, so I can't leave the work laptop there,

and I don't have Microsoft Office on this laptop, and so I'm trying to learn how to use LibreOffice finally, but some of the formatting doesn't translate, and

even backspacing on this fucking text box is so fucking slow and it's driving me insane, and

remember when technology was fun?

I think my brain is shutting down a little.

It's Monday and I haven't heard back from any of the places I sent an application to and frankly it's not like I was expecting to hear back I guess, but more importantly

it's Monday and that means the workweek is started again and that means I have to Get Things Done today and that includes stuff like thinking about what I need to do about the rent increase which, when I rang the rental agent to ask something about, they answered me with an immediate 'So you're moving out?'

but really what I wanted to say is - and here is another tangent because I'm definitely going crazy, this text box isn't keeping up with my typing speed so it's slow and lagging and that means that I can't see mistakes and typos as they happen and letters keep dropping and there are so many mistakes my g-d and I have to type so hard and I'm going insane, I'm going insane, I'm going ins-

what I really wanted to say is - actually maybe I should just go back to using my old laptop oh my g-d this is all too much trouble and too much change to handle all at once and I'm tired and my hands are tired and my wrists are tired and my fingers are tired and I -

Well. What I really wanted to say is that. It's Monday and I am being crushed by the weight on my chest that is the thing that says "You have to email the place today and call the organisation today and respond to the conversation thing today and get back in touch with that friend you said you would catch up with last Thursday or Friday but then you got busy and didn't hear from each other and -"

but instead I am going to fucking play some FF.

[ligerbombz]

hi liger~! if i may ask you what program/app do you use for your art & are you using a ipad or a drawing tablet? i am trying to branch out with my digital art because using my phone for this is oof lol. i am unsure what everyone’s using & you’re one of my favorite artists so I thought i’d ask ya c: at least if you’re ok with me asking that is. either way please & thank you 💖💖

Hi! And thank you so much im very honored 🥺💖 For drawing I mainly use a huion Kamvas screen tablet and Paint Tool Sai (though most people use clip studionpaint now a days)

The cheapest huion screen tablet only goes for around 220 USD, which is significantly cheaper than an Ipad! And I've been using my older huion tablet for 5 years now! It's pretty durable too. I've dropped it twice and it still works fine 😭.

*Edit

I was gonna say that with a screen tablet like this you're required to have a pc or a laptop to use it because it's only an external display you can draw on (unlike an iPad) but by the looks of it you can just plug the new version into ur phone and use it as an external display there too! 😳 that's pretty cool

Speaking of phones

I know ur probably tired of phones but I also use my phone half the time too 😭 But I do have a phone that comes with a stylus (samsung note phone) with medibang for android!!

I hope this helps 😤

Oh and I've also used desk tablets, the ones without the screen for a long long time before this. But I think screen tablets are becoming more accessible now that Wacom finally has proper competition. IDK If anyone remembers the intuos (non screen) tablets? They would go for like 300 dollars back then or something insane like that 😎 but now u can get a screen tablet for just 200 dollars?? Instead of 1000!!

[let-the-dream-begin]

In My Daughter’s Eyes Chapter 33: Blueprints

Chapter 32

Read on AO3

March 19

Jamie’s car hummed down the highway, one hand on the wheel, the other laced with Claire’s. The Spotify playlist he’d put together for the trip had gone over swimmingly; he’d mixed together all of Claire’s favorites—Barry Manilow, Elton John, Billy Joel to name a few—a few miscellaneous songs he knew she liked, and a few of his own favorites, some country songs that he knew would earn him a scoff and an eye roll.

The trip up, he could hear Claire humming as she gazed out the window.

“Come on, Sassenach. Sing.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Why no’? Ye’re embarrassed?”

“Yes! And why shouldn't I be?”

“Because ye’ve, repeatedly, might I add, held my face between yer legs and begged like a depraved—”

“Oh my god! Fine!”

She’d blasted the volume, perhaps because she thought he wouldn’t be able to hear her as clearly, and she begrudgingly began singing along to Manilow’s “I Write the Songs.” After a few minutes, and after Jamie had rolled the windows down all the way, she was singing at full volume, her hair whipping into her open mouth.

She was no professional by any means, but she had a sweet, sultry, velvet sounding tone to her voice. It was different from the way he’d heard her sing with Faith, more wild and unconfined.

Now, on the way back, she was bopping to “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart,” swinging their joined hands between them. He flicked his eyes off the road for just a second to take her in, and he kissed her hand as she continued.

They’d had a wonderful weekend, just the two of them, for the first time. Through Self Direction, Claire was entitled to something she referred to as the special needs parent respite program, a trip paid for by Self Direction, and childcare provided by them as well. Mrs. Lickett, Leina, and Amy had rotated their time with Faith all weekend since Friday afternoon. Claire had been incredibly nervous, especially since Amy and Leina were still relatively new. But with Jamie’s reassurance, she’d managed to let herself believe that January to March was enough time to get accustomed to two new people without Mummy or Jamie being around. Mrs. Lickett was the one doing bedtime and overnights anyway, which was something Faith was already accustomed to with her.

“I haven’t had a weekend away since before she was born.”

Jamie had burned with hatred for the sorry excuse for a husband she’d had before, and he simultaneously vowed that this weekend away would be the best she ever had.

And, not to pat himself on the back, but he was nearly certain it had been.

They’d stayed at a quaint bed and breakfast in Auburn, by the Finger Lakes. They visited a winery, did a beer trail—the Finger Lakes Beer Trail, to be exact, hiked through a state park, went biking, made love in a hot tub, made love in their bed, made love on the balcony of their suite overlooking a garden, made love on the hike through the state park…

Come to think of it, Jamie could not name a place that they hadn’t christened as such on their trip.

As much as he loved Faith, really and truly loved her like she was his own daughter, having Claire to himself was a thrill like no other. He’d underestimated how incredible it would be. He thought that they’d gone on plenty of dates, spent plenty of late nights together with Faith fast asleep…but this trip had been different. Is this what their honeymoon would be like, he wondered…?

Proposal first, then marriage, then honeymoon, Fraser.

“Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” concluded, and Claire sighed lazily, leaning across the gap in the seats to lay her head on his shoulder, resting their joined hands in his lap. “Copacabana” came on next, and he glanced down at her mischievously, expecting the performance of a lifetime. She didn’t budge, just nestled further into his shoulder.

“What’s this, Sassenach? This is a Barry classic.”

She chuckled softly. “I know. I’m just very tired. We didn’t exactly do much sleeping.”

He made an amused noise in the back of his throat. “Aye. Something that I refuse to be sorry for.”

“Don’t worry. I don’t want you to be.”

Barry carried on about Lola and Tony, and Claire remained silent, even at the climax of the song.

“Ye sure ye’re alright?”

She looked like she was about to say something, but she didn’t. Then, after a moment:

“It just feels like it went so fast.”

“I ken what ye mean.”

“It’s not that I’m dreading parenting again. I mean, that’s a daily existential dread kind of thing. But it’s not like I don’t want to go back home to Faith.”

“Ye’ll miss me that much?” he was teasing, laughing as he said it.

“Yeah.” She was gravely serious.

His brow furrowed, and he brought their hands to his lips to kiss her knuckles again. He didn’t know what to say.

“I’m just…I’m tired of saying goodbye.”

The lines on his forehead deepened. “What d’ye mean?”

“I mean I…” She sighed, frustrated. She sat up, keeping their hands clasped. “Could you pull over?”

His heart leapt into his throat, his stomach tumbling. Rationally, he knew this could not have been going in a direction that would shatter his heart. It would make no sense. But logic could not calm the nausea as he took the next exit and pulled into the first parking lot that came up: a Burger King.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing! Oh God, nothing is wrong,” she said, shaking her head, laughing. She released his hand to unbuckle, then got up on her knees in the passenger seat. She took his hand with both hers, facing him. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

He unbuckled as well, swiveled a bit in the seat, and closed his free hand over hers.

“I’ve wanted to ask you this for a while, because it just makes sense, but I thought I might sound crazy because it seemed too soon.”

His confusion must have been visible, because she laughed again.

“What I’m trying to say, and failing miserably at…is that I…I’m tired of having to say goodbye. I want you here. Well, not here. But home. With us.”

He blinked dumbly “Ye…ye want me to move in…? Wi’ you?”

Claire nodded, chewing on her bottom lip. “Is that crazy?”

To answer her, he captured her lips with his, kissing her firmly, sucking in through his nose for air. “Is it crazy that I’ve been wishing fer it fer months?”

She chuckled through her nose and kissed him again. Christ! And to think he was worried! She wanted him to live with her! Her and her child! It was, of course, something that he hadn’t been unable to stop thinking about for a while as well, but he’d never have asked it of her, not before she was ready. He never asked a thing of her before she was ready. And it always worked out in his favor.

She lost her balance, leaning so deeply into the kiss that she tipped off her seat and face first into Jamie’s lap, and they sputtered with laughter.

“Sorry…” She scrambled back onto her side, but not before pecking him on the cheek.

“You’re flushed wi’ joy, mo ghraidh.” He tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“Well, shouldn’t I be? I just snagged the hottest roommate on Long Island.”

He laughed, gently tugging on the strand of hair.

“Well, since we’re here, would you like some deplorable fast food?”

Jamie winced. “Tempting as that sounds…I’d rather we drive around fer something else.”

“Fair enough. Burger King doesn't exactly seem like the best meal to celebrate a couple moving in together.”

Christ! Moving in together!

“I dinna understand it.”

“What? Burger King?”

“No…I dinna understand how every single time I think I couldna possibly be any happier…I’m always proven wrong.”

——

Jamie pulled up in front of Claire’s apartment a little after eleven that night.

Our apartment, he reminded himself.

He reached over and nudged her awake, and she woke with a start.

“Shit…how long have I been out?”

“About two hours.”

“Jamie! You should’ve woken me! I feel awful for making you do all that driving alone.”

“Don’t. Ye’re the busy career woman here.”

“You have a career.”

“No’ one that starts at seven in the morning tomorrow.”

She sighed and then got out of the car, retrieving her duffle bag from the back seat. Jamie followed her up the stairs, and Mrs. Lickett was on the couch, asleep with a book in her lap. Claire gently woke her, thanked her profusely. Jamie looked around the living room, the photographs on the walls and surfaces that now included him in them, and he wanted to weep.

Claire went in to check on Faith, and Jamie wandered into the bathroom, still holding his duffle bag. He opened it and pulled out the pouch containing his toiletries. He pulled out his toothbrush and slowly, reverently, slid it into the cup that contained Claire’s and Faith’s, full of princess logos. He tucked his shaving kit into an empty space in a drawer and slid his deodorant next to Claire’s behind the mirror. The rest of his toiletries were all travel sized, so he kept them away.

He was brought out of this ritualistic unpacking by soft lips on his shoulder, and he turned to take her in his arms.

“Hmm,” she said, looking at the toothbrushes. “How symbolic.”

He hummed in thoughtful amusement, reverently kissing the crown of her head. She pulled away to sweetly kiss him on the lips, then caressed his face in her small, tender hands.

“Welcome home, love.”

——

May 12

Jamie was awake long before Claire, long before even the sun rose. Unable to sit still any longer, he carefully tucked blankets and pillows against Claire’s back, knowing the lack of his warm presence might wake her, and he slipped out of bed. Last night had been rather hectic, and Claire had desperately wanted to pack everything for the zoo the night before, but had been unable. So Jamie took the initiative now, laying out the sunscreen, packing all of Faith’s snacks, unplugging her play-tablet and putting it and her headphones in the electronics bag. He checked the charge on her assistive communication tablet and decided to plug it in anyway just in case, making a note to not let her leave without it. He packed doggy bags and Angus’s portable food and water bowls. He packed a few snacks for himself and Claire, and then he moved onto prepping breakfast.

He wouldn’t actually cook them just yet, given that Faith wouldn’t be awake for at least another hour, but he prepared batter, fruit, and chocolate chips for birthday pancakes. He moved to the fridge, checking the cabinet above it where he and Claire had hidden her birthday presents. They each had one to give her today, and one to give her the day of her party next weekend; next weekend since Mother’s Day was that coming weekend. They hadn’t decided if she’d be opening the presents before or after the zoo, so he kept them up there, deciding it best to wait if she asked for them or not. He let himself sit on the couch for a bit before he started heating the pan for the pancakes. He smiled at his tartan blanket, very at home on Claire’s couch.

He’d finished moving over all of his things in the beginning of April, and that night, he and Claire had champagne in their kitchen. He’d put all his own furniture and dishes in storage, to be placed in a house someday, if that was what Claire wanted. He’d brought over his cubed shelving, the kind that you bought with fabric drawers, and between that and the spare closet in the master that Claire hadn’t previously needed, everything fit perfectly. Atop the shelves, he laid out a few picture frames of his family, and what didn’t fit, Claire added to the wall of framed photos of her and Faith—well, her Faith, and Jamie.

Faith had adjusted beautifully, apparently hardly noticing a difference between Jamie being over all the time and just living there. Her favorite change had not, evidently, been Jamie himself, but the tartan blanket. She was constantly wrapping herself up in it, even as the May weather got increasingly warmer, rubbing it on her face, humming contently. It made Jamie unreasonably happy; it felt as if Faith’s love for the blanket extended into a love for his culture that he was so passionate about, an acceptance and celebration of who he was. He knew that was silly; she could not possibly understand the depth of its meaning, but the smile on her face when she became a tartan burrito was joy enough for him. Claire, of course, did not appreciate Faith’s attempts at eating dinner as said burrito…nor Jamie’s encouragement of the habit.

Jamie heaved himself off the couch and made his way into the kitchen to start cooking, but then a door burst open, followed by giggling, and the pattering of six little feet. Faith collided with his legs before he could cross the threshold into the kitchen, and Angus sat dutifully behind.

“Well, would ye look who it is.”

Jamie bent down to pry her off his legs and lift her above his head, causing her to squeal.

“The birthday princess herself!”

He settled her on his hip and kissed her cheek, but she reached up again, grunting, apparently wanting to be thrown up again. Jamie just shook his head and continued into the kitchen.

“What day is it, lass? Can ye tell me?” She signed birthday about a dozen times in a row, vibrating with excitement. “Aye, that’s right. Happy birthday.” He signed the words with one hand, then kissed her nose. “Would ye like to help me make yer birthday breakfast, a leannan?”

Faith reached greedy hands toward the pancake mix, and he chuckled. “Aye, we’ll get there. We have to let Angus outside first. Come on.” He carried her to the sliding glass door that led to the balcony, where they kept a few of those synthetic grass potty-patches for dogs, occasionally emptied by Jamie or Claire (mostly Jamie, but who was counting). They tried very hard to ingrain in Faith that it was her job to let him out, but it would take a while before she did so without being told. Jamie flipped the lock for her, and she used all her strength to heave open the door, and Angus pattered outside. Jamie then helped her get him fresh water and his breakfast, and then he was back inside, eating and drinking, and Jamie sat Faith on the counter.

Jamie scooped three circles into the pan of perfect proportion for Mickey Mouse, and Faith gasped dramatically. “Who’s that, Faith?”

She answered him with two perfect cups of her hands atop her head, the sign for Mickey Mouse.

“Clever lass! That’s Mickey, alright. Good signing. Good job.”

Jamie gave her a handful of chocolate chips to drop into the pancake, and she plopped them all in one spot. Jamie snorted, laughing. For the next handful, he tried hand over hand in an attempt to get her to spread them more evenly, but then she learned that the more she did it wrong, the more Jamie would try to correct her until she’d be eating chocolate chips with a side of pancake.

“Alright, no more,” Jamie said. “Ye can put some in mine and Mummy’s. How’s that?”

Before Faith could protest, Jamie was flipping the pancake, and she gasped again. “See? Mickey’s almost done cooking.”

Jamie almost laughed at how strange that sentence would sound in any other context. He slid the pancake onto a plate, used whipped cream to make eyes, a mouth, and a nose, and covered the spots with berries.

“There he is, lass.” He put the plate on the table with a flourish, and Faith threw her hands up, demanding to be taken off the counter and put in front of her food. He obliged her, carrying her over with airplane noises, and dropping her in her seat with a little crash sound effect. “There ye go. Special birthday breakfast for the birthday girl.” He kissed her head. “Ye have to eat his face first, ye ken. His eyes, his nose, his mouth.” He pointed to the strawberry eyes and nose and the blueberry mouth. “When ye finish that, then ye get syrup to eat his head. Aye?”

Faith began shoveling berries into her mouth with no regard for the whipped cream, covering her hands and face with it. Jamie started the next batch of pancakes while she ate her berries, and he cut hers up for her and added syrup while the first side was cooking. When it was time, he brought over the pan and let her put some chips in before returning it to the stove. He checked the time, decided he could let Claire sleep for a few more minutes, then started the last batch of pancakes.

When Faith was done eating and the stove was off, he spent a great deal of time de-sticky-fying Faith’s hands and face, and then he led her to his and Claire’s bedroom. (Christ, he still got butterflies thinking of it as theirs.) Faith was bouncing with excitement, but Jamie made her wait for his dramatic count to three before throwing the door open and letting her zoom into the room and onto the bed.

Jamie chuckled at the undignified oomph that Faith forced out of Claire when she pounced on her back. She started grumbling, face still in the pillow, and then it was like a switch was flipped, as if her morning-brain needed a few seconds to remember the day.

“Oh, my sweet girl!”

Her voice was breathy and still drugged with sleep, but the joy was real as she flipped over onto her back and pulled Faith to her chest.

“My six year old! Oh my goodness…”

She showered Faith’s curly head with kisses, and Faith hummed contentedly. Jamie sat on the bed by Claire’s legs, feeling a few miles closer to heaven at the sight of his girls tangled up in bed, a mess of wild curls spilling all over the pillows.

“Happy birthday, my little love.”

Faith hummed and began pushing violently away from Claire. Claire sputtered, jerking away and releasing her, and then Faith was scampering away.

“Are those pancakes I smell?” Claire said hopefully, her eyes still only half open.

“That they are.” Jamie leaned over and kissed her, and she moaned sleepily, letting him press her into the pillow, and then—

“Zoozoozoozoozoozoozoozoozoozoozoozoozoozoo—“

“Jesus H. Christ, how many times did she press it?”

Jamie sat up, looking over at Faith’s tablet screen. “Quite a bit.”

“Zoozoozoozoozoozoozoozoozoo—“

“Well make it stop!”

“Zoozoozoozoozoozoo—”

“Yes, Faith, we hear ye.” Jamie pressed the top of the screen to stop the endless stream and quickly cleared it before she could press it again. “Mummy is getting up right now, and then we’ll be getting dressed, then sunscreen, then off to the zoo.”

“She’s doing it again—”

“Come on, lass, let’s get ye dressed.”

Jamie hauled her over his shoulder, causing the iPad to flop onto the mattress. She squealed, letting her limbs fall limp.

“Yer breakfast is on the table. I packed everything we could possibly need. Eat, get ready. Let me see to her.”

“You do know it’s her birthday, not mine. You don’t need to pamper me.”

“Ach, there’s where ye’re wrong.” He sauntered over, six year old still tossed over his shoulder. “Six years ago ye were in labor fer…”

“Twenty-three hours.”

“Twenty-three bloody hours.” He leaned over, eliciting another squeal from Faith, and kissed her. “I say today is a day ye deserve to be celebrated as well. Go eat. Enjoy.”

“You sweet, bloody man.”

“Aye, I am.” He stood up straight again, and Faith let loose another squeal. “Off we go, birthday girl!”

——

It was midday; they’d just eaten lunch and ice cream, so any crabbiness to be found in the little girl was dispelled as they strolled through the gorilla exhibit. As Claire had told him she would, Faith was telling every animal she came across that it was her birthday, using her signs. Faith and Angus were held on by Claire, and Jamie pushed the stroller that was holding their bags, Faith’s communication device, and the two giraffes that she’d gotten last year’s birthday. (They’d in fact gotten ten minutes away from the house before Faith had started wailing, and it had dawned on Claire impressively quickly that Faith likely had meant to take them with her; of course they’d turned around to get them.) He and Claire had a running bet going as to which animals she’d get this year, because they both knew full well that she’d be doing the exact same thing, her desire for repeating matching sets all too permeating in everything she did.

“You know,” Claire said over her shoulder. “I think I might change my bet to gorillas.”

“Ye sure?” Jamie cocked a brow. “After last year’s debacle wi’ the tigers no’ appearing, then she sees them this year…ye were quite certain.”

“Yes, but look!”

Faith practically had her nose pressed into the glass, her eyes locked on a mother gorilla with a baby on her back.

“Aye, she’s quite taken.” Jamie watched the mother and baby.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” Claire said softly. “I mean, look at her eyes. How can anyone believe she doesn’t have a soul.”

Jamie glanced at Claire, as enthralled with the creatures as Faith was, and his heart warmed. “Aye. They’re beautiful.” He crossed his arms. “Though my bet will remain wi’ the red pandas. They’re just too damned cute fer a wee lass to no’ want.”

Claire opened her mouth to retort, but it died on her lips, and she stiffened. Jamie’s brow furrowed, confused. Before he could ask what was wrong, a loud, high-pitched voice sounded, apparently for the second time. The child had been talking already; he just hadn’t heard it at first.

“Can you stop that whining noise? It’s annoying.”

Jamie flicked his eyes down, and sure enough, there was a little girl, standing far too close to Faith for comfort. Faith was humming, her usual, happy stimming sound. She was having fun. Jamie was so used to the noise he hadn’t even registered she was making it. It was white noise to him at this point, to Claire as well, he knew.

“Can you stop that whining noise? It’s annoying!”

“That’s the third time,” Claire hissed, and her small body began shaking with rage.

“Stop. It’s annoying.”

“You’re going to let her talk to my child like that?” Claire raised her voice above its previous whisper, and Jamie’s stomach flipped.

“What?” An older woman, appearing to be the complainant’s grandmother, turned away from the glass.

“You’re standing right there. I know you can hear her being nasty to my child.”

“Claire.”

“No! I want her to answer me.”

“Hey! Stop it!” In her final, fatal mistake, the blonde girl gently shoved Faith by the shoulder, appearing as if she only wanted to get her attention.

“Makenna, come on, let her be,” the grandmother finally intervened.

“Get her away from her, now.”

“Hey. They’re just being kids. Relax.”

“No. My daughter is being a kid. Your granddaughter is bullying her for being happy!”

Without another word, the grandma seized Makenna by the hand and dragged her away, disappearing into the crowd. Jamie wrapped a firm hand around Claire’s wrist to stop her from running after her.

“It’s no’ worth it. They’re leaving.”

“I feel like I’m about to explode.”

“Aye,” Jamie said softly, indeed feeling her vibrating intensifying. “I can feel. It’s over now. Look at her, she’s fine. She didna hear a word of it.”

Faith was indeed oblivious; her noise-cancelling headphones were secure in place, and she’d likely thought the girl’s small shove to be Angus. She was far too focused on the baby gorilla to have a care in the world.

“She’s fine, Claire,” Jamie repeated, loosening his grip on her wrist now that Makenna and grandma were out of sight. “Her birthday hasna been ruined. She willna remember that at all. If ye made a scene…that she’d remember.”

Claire hastily, angrily, swiped at a few tears. “I know.”

A few other guests were giving them looks over their shoulders or out of the corner of their eye. Whether it was because they, too, found Claire’s daughter annoying, or because they felt sympathy, was anyone’s guess. Nobody came forward to offer support, but neither did anyone else condemn them.

“She’s fine.”

“Yes. She’s okay.”

“Are you?” Jamie tried to meet her eye, and she finally let him. She nodded minutely.

“Just…I need to forget about it…”

Jamie nodded. Claire crouched down next to Faith, tapping her shoulder gently to signify that she was coming close so as to not startle her, being that she couldn’t hear anything. Claire began signing to her, and Faith answered clumsily, pointing to the mother and baby gorilla. After taking a moment to blink away his own tears that he hadn’t let show until Claire couldn’t see, he crouched down on her other side and joined the conversation.

She was fine, she was oblivious. She was happy, blissfully so. Her birthday was still perfect.

But Christ, that had hurt.

At the end of the day, neither Jamie nor Claire had won the bet. Despite Faith’s awe over the baby gorilla, the cuteness of the red pandas, or even, for argument’s sake, the appearance of the tigers, they walked out of the gift shop with a mother and baby elephant. Faith settled into the stroller for the journey back to the car, and by the time they took Angus for a potty break and made it to the exit, she was fast asleep, two giraffes and two elephants piled on her tiny body.

“Hey,” Jamie said. He was pushing the stroller with both hands, and one of Claire’s hands rested on his, her other holding Angus’s leash. “I love you.”

Claire peered up at him through her lashes and pecked him gratefully on the lips. “It was wonderful to have you here this year. It was the perfect sixth birthday.”

“It was. Wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. It was.”

Her cheeks were slightly pinked with sunburn, her nose darted with new freckles. Her amber eyes were swimming with the colors of the sunset around them, and Jamie sighed in perfect contentment.

“Jamie?”

“Hm?”

“I love you, too.”

No, now he was perfectly content.

——

May 14

Claire opened her mouth again, waiting patiently for Jamie’s response, and she hummed happily when he popped another grape between her lips. She sighed contentedly, shimmying back into his chest. His arms snaked around her again, and he kissed her temple. They were leaning against a tree, covered by the shade, watching Faith on a playground. It was completely fenced in, the playground and an adjoining field. Angus was laying in the grass napping, off duty until Faith needed him. She was quite independent on playgrounds these days, preferring to stop around, climb up the slide and then slide back down on her stomach, bounce on the see-saw herself, rather than drag her dog along with her. It was a good thing, Jamie had decided. The only time Faith decided to be utterly helpless was when she wanted to be pushed on the swing. She could pump her legs; Jamie had seen her do it. But she would always and forever prefer Jamie to push her. He’d been up and down a few times over the course of the afternoon.

It was a beautiful Sunday, Mother’s Day. They’d had a picnic lunch in the field, then sent Faith off to play. It was the perfect balance for Claire; Faith was close enough, having a grand old time, and yet Claire wasn’t overworked or stressed. They could just be like this, as a family.

Jamie had recently refrained from feeling any guilt when referring to the girls as his family. It was not presumptuous, not overstepping. Not anymore.

Jamie and Faith had presented Claire with breakfast in bed this morning, but not until eleven. Faith was ready to cook and have it delivered at seven, but Jamie managed to keep her happy with Sesame Street, Disney Channel, and a trip to the florist until an acceptable hour for letting Claire sleep in. The pancakes were all, of course, Mickey shaped, at Faith’s insistence. Claire loved them, and told Faith as such over and over. As Jamie had carried in the breakfast, Faith had carried in the flowers. It had been a perfect morning that carried into a perfect afternoon.

“I don’t see her,” Claire said, craning her neck. “Do you?”

“Aye, she’s under that wee rock wall cave.” Jamie gestured with his chin. “That flash o’ pink in the window. See?”

It was a small arch made of rock climbing wall that came just above Jamie’s knees. Faith enjoyed heaving herself up and just standing there, and apparently hiding underneath.

“Oh, yes, I see.” Claire eased back again. “How long has she been in there?”

“A fair bit,” he said.

“Is she just…sitting in there?”

“Aye, but I think she’s been making a nest.”

“What?”

“Ye haven’t noticed that she’s been picking up leaves and bringing them in there wi’ her?”

“No…” Claire said, a bit dazed. “I was trying to look for her on the slides or the ladders. In the groups of kids.”

“When have ye ever kent yer daughter to be among throngs of weans?” He’d meant it as a joke, but she deflated a bit.

“I hear them trying to talk to her,” she said softly. “Asking her her name, how old she is. Will she play tag, or hide and seek.”

In the beginning, Jamie and Claire had switched on and off shouting over to the kids and telling them that Faith wouldn’t answer, but after so many times, they’d given up. Faith wasn’t bothered either way.

“She’s perfectly happy on her own,” Jamie assured her.

“You don’t think she gets lonely? Or feels left out?”

“Nah.” Jamie kissed the crown of her head. “Not every kid, or every adult for that matter, needs conventional companionship. If she was lonely or unhappy she’d be all over us, asking fer snacks or juice.”

“You’re right,” Claire acquiesced. “You’re always bloody right.” She swatted his forearm in mock resentment, and he just kissed her head again.

Less than an hour later, Jamie was folding up the blanket and rousing Angus. They were out of snacks, and by the time they got home, it would be time to start dinner. When Jamie had asked Claire what she’d wanted for her Mother’s Day feast, all she’d requested was something they could all make together. So he’d decided on homemade pizza with all the toppings that Faith could throw on it to her heart’s desire.

“Come on! Five minutes are up!” Claire called, making her way to the playground. Faith was still under the rock wall. When Jamie had given her the five minute warning, she’d been on her knees and elbows, her head practically tucked into the ground.

Faith crawled out of the little tunnel obediently, and Claire reached out her hand, and Faith took it. Jamie made his way over to walk with them to the car, but Faith started tugging back.

“No, Faith. Playground is all done. It’s time to make pizza. Remember? We’ll get your chef apron, and—”

“Sassenach.”

“What?”

Jamie jerked his chin to where Faith was pulling toward. A single brown leaf was stuck in the grass, just outside the perimeter of the spongy playground floor. Claire let go of Faith’s hand, and she scuttled over to the leaf and picked it up. They watched as she crawled back into the tunnel, and she emerged almost immediately, giving Claire her hand right away.

“Good girl. Thank you, lovie.”

Instead of making her way to the car, Claire inched toward the tunnel. “Mummy wants to see what you made.”

Jamie smiled, following closely behind. Claire bent down to look into the little hole in the rock wall that they could see Faith through before.

“Wow, look at that,” Claire said, her voice breathy. “You made a little nest. That’s so sweet, baby.”

Jamie peered in, his grin stretching from ear to ear. She had to have picked up every single leaf in the entire playground, the entire field for that matter. He heard Claire sniffle, and he stole a kiss to her temple, onlooking children be damned.

“Mummy is so lucky, Faith,” she whispered, holding up the I love you sign. Faith copied, pressing the three fingers together, and Claire kissed Faith’s sweaty forehead.

——

At around nine-fifteen in the evening, Faith was fast asleep with Angus’s head trapped under her little arm. They’d all three spent the night making pizza, eating ice cream, and snuggling on the couch to watch The Little Mermaid. Jamie ducked out of Faith’s room, buzzing with excitement at having Claire to himself once more, and he locked the bedroom door behind him to find Claire already stripped down to her underwear and bra.

“Damn,” she said. “You weren’t supposed to come back until I was naked. I’m not wearing cute underwear.”

“Bloody hell, Sassenach,” Jamie half snorted, half growled. “D’ye think I give a bloody fuck about yer underwear?”

He attacked her lips with his, and there was a feverish ripping-off of clothing and underwear until they were both naked and hot and pressed together. Then Jamie slowed things down. He intended to worship her tonight, intended to show her with every kiss, touch, and stroke how much he loved her for the wonderful mother that she was, for the woman that she was. For the woman that she was because she was a mother.

After he made sure she’d found release with whatever method she deemed necessary, twice, Jamie finally perched over her and slammed home, delighting in the arch of her throat as she threw her head back in ecstasy. He could still taste her as he bent to kiss her, and her responding groan told him that she could also taste her.

He refrained from taking her hard and fast, not tonight. He let her feel every inch, let himself feel every inch. How many times had they done this? How many times had they gone to oblivion and back together?

As a lad, he’d been told by every teacher he ever had, all of them Catholic, that this was a sin. Not really the act itself, but doing it out of wedlock. He’d of course grown out of that belief, finding nothing short of holiness whenever he laid with Claire. Though, actually, the act itself could be considered a sin even in wedlock if done for pleasure. Some people believed this act must only be carried out if the intention was to create life.

Claire clenched around him, and he shuddered, groaning into her ear, unable to stop himself from speeding up.

“Yes…yes, love…”

He bit her ear, listening to her commands, listening to her body, and keeping up the faster pace.

Creating life…Christ, if Claire wasn’t on the pill, how many times might they have created life since last July?

She clawed at his back, dug her heels into his arse, mewling into his ear. His wee vixen would meet her end three times tonight, perhaps four if he paced himself.

How many times could he have made a mother of her since last July? Mathematically speaking, only once, really. It had only been ten months since they’d begun. But to think, every time he’d had her, every time she’d held him in place while he found bliss inside of her…

It was almost shameful, almost beastly, the primal urge he felt to mark her as such, to have her carry him inside her like that even long after they’d finished, pill or not.

And without that pill…

God, yes, he could make a mother out of her again. And she’d be beautiful; she’d be a goddess that they’d create together with their own hands, their own mouths, their own joining.

It was that thought that sent him fully out of control, no longer able to spare any ounce of power.

“Yes, yes, yes…”

Her words slurred until they were one strangled cry, and then they were falling together, teeth and nails latching onto anything they could.

Afterward, they lie sprawled on the disheveled sheets, catching their breath, comforter and throw pillows hastily tossed aside long ago. When Claire shivered, Jamie chuckled and pulled the top sheet over them. They were facing each other, and Claire looked mischievous, as if she were about to suggest something else to warm her up. She didn’t, though, just kept looking into his eyes like she was keeping a secret.

Then he began feeling like he was the one keeping a secret. He bit his lip, debating opening his mouth to speak or to capture that exposed, beautiful nipple again and distract her, distract himself.

He cleared his throat.

“Can I ask ye a question?” He propped himself up on his hand, and she smiled up at him.

“Of course.” She turned slightly to see him better.

“D’ye ever think about…” His voice trailed off, his throat suddenly filling with sand. Or vomit.

“What?” She mirrored him, propping up on her hand as well. “You can ask me anything, Jamie.”

He smiled nervously and averted his eyes for just a second. “Children. Well, more, that is.”

Claire blinked at him, clearly surprised.

“I’m sorry if that’s out of line…”

“No.” She stopped him before he could fully spiral, sitting up and covering herself with the sheet. “It isn’t at all.”

He sat up as well. “Ye sure?”

“We’re…building a life here, Jamie. Aren’t we?”

Now she seemed nervous.

“Aye.” He sat up and took her hand assuredly. “That we are.”

Her tight face relaxed into a tiny smile, and she squeezed his hand. “Right. So…if you want more children…you’re allowed to share that with me.”

“I didna say I — ”

“Then why are you asking?”

He had nothing to say to that.

“You’d want that?” she asked, her voice suddenly quite small. “You’d want to…have a baby? With me?”

Jamie felt his heart leap into his throat. “Aye,” he said, perhaps too quickly. “No’ right away,” he remedied. “Just…in the future. I…ye ken I love Faith like she’s my own. And together I…we’ll raise her together. As ours.”

Claire nodded, her eyes misting.

“And I could always and forever be happy wi’ just that,” Jamie continued. “It doesna matter to me that she was…sired by someone else. No’ at all. But…to see ye grow round wi’ child…my child…” It was his turn to well up. “D’ye ken I’d give anything to have known Faith fer…even a day longer than I’ve known her…? To have seen her take her first steps, watch her grow from the size of my hand to a full little person…to have watched ye carry her, bring her into the world, hold yer hand through it. To hear her first cry…Christ.” He hastily wiped his eyes. “To…to have been there during her diagnosis, fer both of ye. I wish every day I could have all of it. Because to me…she’s mine. And I canna imagine it any other way. But I wasna there.”

“Oh, Jamie…”

“It’s foolish.”

“No.” She fervently shook her head. “Not at all.”

“I mean it’s…it’s wrong…selfish to want to have a bairn wi’ ye because I didna have all that wi’ Faith. Isn’t it?”

She offered a tiny smile, shaking her head again. “You silly man. You want to be a father, and all that goes with it. That’s not selfish. That’s beautiful.”

“Ye dinna think me a greedy, ungrateful bastard?”

She bit her lip, laughing through her nose, shaking her head. She cupped his face, her grin broadening. “Someday, Jamie…it would be the greatest honor to carry your baby.”

Overwhelmed with relief and joy, Jamie kissed her passionately. He hadn’t lied; he would be happy, more than happy, to raise Faith alone as his daughter. But he feared there would always be a part of him that longed for a baby, that longed to see Claire pregnant, nursing, all of it. The thought of having it someday was enough to send him shooting into the sky.

When their lips parted, Claire did not look as joyful as he felt.

“What is it?” he said immediately.

“Jamie, I…I do want it. I want to have a baby together. Someday. But…” She swallowed. “It’s not…a proven fact, but some studies show that it’s…genetic. Autism, I mean. There’s a high chance for a second-born.”

He nodded, slowly understanding.

“I say this with all the love in my heart for Faith, but…could you…could we handle a second child with needs like hers?”

Jamie’s brow furrowed, but he nodded without hesitation. “Faith is old enough now, we’ve got a system in place fer her. If we had to do it all over again with another, it wouldna be easy, but ye wouldna be going into it blind again.”

Claire nodded. “Okay.”

“Would it be alright wi’ you?” Jamie asked. “I have no judgement, Sassenach. Ye ken that. But you know as well as any that becoming a parent means ye’re to be prepared fer any kind of child. If ye truly think it wouldna be best fer you, or Faith, then she should be our only one.”

Claire waited only a brief moment before shaking her head. “If the doctor had put Faith in my arms for the first time and said, ‘this is your baby, but she’s going to have autism’…I wouldn’t have given a damn. I was already in love. From that first second.” She squeezed his hand. “I want that again, no matter what. I want you to experience that. With me.” She kissed him sweetly, gently. “I want your child, Jamie, no matter what.”

He was happier than he’d been just two minutes ago, happier than he thought possible. As he sealed that oath with another kiss, he knew it was time.

Time to put that ring that he’d bought in August to good use.

[shadowofroses]

Tales of Mitsukai Rikka

Demon Slayer

No Pairings as of Yet. I will update this whenever I get the inspiration to, but will not be my main priority writing wise. I'm writing this for myself, however if anyone else enjoys it I'll be over joyed. <3

Chapter 2

Warnings?: First Person, American Character, Electronics and Manga travels with character, Chubby Character, Short Character, Self Indulgent Piece, Mentions of Disabled sister, Itsukai, Possible Fix It, Character has Hypothyroidism, Language

English Normal Text

Japanese text Bold and Italicized.

Summery: Last night I said an Affirmation to connect me to the dimension of my Best and Highest Good, However I thought nothing of it, today I work on my PC only to get Electrocuted and travel into what seemed to be Demon Slayer and found by Kuwajima. Can I find a way back to my original World via becoming a Demon Slayer? Can I find Answers as to why I am now here? STAY TOONED!

Chapter One: Madness is the Gift That Has Been Given

Story:

I sighed as I turned to work on my Computer, determined to get it working after it died five months prior. I missed playing games, talking to friends etc, instead I lived off of a tablet, which wasn’t a bad thing. But I missed being able to multitask a lot of stuff on one device. 

I put on my knock off Airpods and started to listen to Staind, Disturbed, casual Tove Lo, random anime and a lot of other miscellaneous music I had downloaded onto my Iphone. My one sister was helping take care of my older disabled sister. She was usually my responsibility, but I didn’t need her to electrocute herself by accident on my account. 

I’m tired and have been testing out replacing different parts, at this point it would be more beneficial to rebuild or buy a new PC all together. However my dumbass decided to keep the PC plugged in, cause it was annoying having to go back and forth to plug and unplug it from time to time just to test things out. 

I sighed looking down at my copy of Stories of Water and Flame, and shook my head. No, I could reread that once I was done. I used an orange bandana to cover my hair and keep it out of my face, and went back to work. I reached over with my screwdriver and accidentally tapped the metal of a loose wire, giving me a shock and falling backwards onto the floor. 

I don’t know how long I lost consciousness. 

I woke up to Disturbed Get Down with the Sickness. Line?  Madness is the gift that has been given to me! 

Yeah that was about right when I looked around. Grass? trees …Peach trees?  I looked at myself, I was still wearing my red button up flannel, and jeans, and mismatched green and pink socks. My byzantine chainmaille necklace is still around my neck, Pods still upside down in my ears, phone in my pocket. I felt a sharp pain in my head, and I hissed and grabbed at it, “Fuck that hurts…”

I took my phone out to see if I could find where I was at. No service. “Of course…” I groaned, turning on the GPS, knowing that was one feature that would work without service. However I looked dumbly at my screen. 

Why does this say I’m in Japan?

Yes exactly what I needed, to be kidnapped and whisked away to a foriegn country most likely to be put in a Hunger Games, or Battle Royale situation. Feeling the ground around me, I found a book, I grasped it as I adjusted my glasses to read the cover, and it was my cover of Stories of Water and Flame. 

Odd thing for my captives to bring with me, the least they could have done is grabbed a damn knife!

Then again if Captive they wouldn’t want me to defend myself anyway. Probably thought my short ass at 190 pounds would be a free kill anyway. 

Good thing my cousin took the time to teach me how to knock a taller person on their ass a few years back. Or at least a six foot two person anyway. Using the compass app I moved till I was facing North. If my GPS was correct, I was north of Yokohama and south of Tokyo?

Shit the Sun was setting too, you needed to find shelter. This wasn’t good. What would I do in Minecraft or ARK Survival Evolved? 

Well that’s dumb cause I would have to punch a rock, and I’d have another reason to cry. I turned my phone off to preserve battery life, and put the ear buds in my pocket. 

Well At least there were no dinosaurs…right?

…right?

I shook my head of the thought. “Okay Rikka, step one of any survival game stone hatchet, pick, torch and campfire.” 

So get a few decent sized branches, a few decent looking rocks, maybe tear off a piece of my flannel for burnable material. I don’t think I knew enough to make proper twine out of plant fiber. Might be my downfall there. 

Regardless, I went around gathering materials, getting them together for a campfire, which I surprisingly made a decently quick fire, the fire was surrounded by stones, so hopefully it wouldn’t get out of hand. 

Using a sharp rock I split one end of a branch and stuck it inside the split. I quickly glanced at my clothes to see which had more excess, and it was clearly my pant legs. These pants were not made for a woman shorter than five feet. 

I was trying to use a sharp rock to cut off the excess of my jeans, when my head shot up from hearing footsteps. 

“Are you okay?” The man held a cane in one hand, a sword in his belt, and a familiar Triangle patterned jinbei kimono, his right leg seemed to be a peg leg? Cosplayer?

I frowned as he repeated it. I recognized he was asking me if I was alright. What was it that my ex-Japanese teacher said? When unsure, just make an ‘eh’ sound and twist your hand back and forth? Gosh I shouldn’t have dropped that class even if he had me embarrassing myself with singing the Sailor Moon theme song in Japanese. “Eeeh…” and I twisted my hand hoping to indicate more or less. 

“It’s starting to get dark out here, come follow me.” 

Okay Now that I know nothing. Yeah I should have stayed in my Japanese class even if the teacher humiliated me. “Sorry, I do not know Japanese.” I responded which made the man raise his thick gray eyebrows. I celebrated, at least knew how to say that, and I didn’t accidentally throw in any Spanish!

He pointed at himself, “I am Kuwajima Jigoro, ex-Thunder Hashira.”

NAME! And the word Hashira! HE'S SERIOUS OH GOD I’M IN DEMON SLAYER. “When I said that affirmation last night to connect me to the dimension for my best and highest good I did NOT mean this!” I shook my head, making the man confused. I then pointed to myself. “Mitsukai Rikka.” 

Kuwajima nodded, repeating my last name, he held his free hand out, and opened and closed his hand to motion to follow. “Come with me. Demons hunt at night,” He paused and picked up the Manga I had left on the ground, he frowned looking at the flame haired man, but tucked it into his Kimono sleeve. 

I gulped, not noticing him pick it up, however agreeing to follow him after putting out the fire. I definitely understood the word demons. 

Yeah this is NOT my best and highest good. 

However the olderman led me to his estate, where a couple of boys were bickering with wood in their arms. My eyes widened in realization, that these two teens were Zenitsu and Kaigaku. 

Oh god, this was as everything was unfolding. Kaigaku shoved Zenitsu out of the way to get into the estate, leaving a twitching black haired Zenitsu. However, with hearing footsteps Zenitsu looked up, “Welcome back Gramps! Oh who is this?” 

“Mitsukai Rikka. She doesn’t know Japanese, I found her fumbling around with a homemade hatchet, so I figured I’d give her shelter before she became Demon Fodder.” 

I glanced over to Kuwajima as he said my name, and back to Zenitsu. “I am Agatsuma Zenitsu, please call me Zenitsu!” 

Okay this was him saying to call him Zenitsu. “Rikka.” I replied with a nod. 

“Slowpoke, the hell are you doing, get that firewood in here!” 

“Kaigaku, what have I told you about respect!” Kuwajima raised his voice, causing the other raven haired boy to peak out the door and his eyebrows furrowed at me. “This is Mitsukai Rikka, she will be staying with us till she gets her footing, or decides to train with you guys. Tomorrow I’ll be sending you two to get some books to teach her Japanese. I believe I heard her speak in English. She knows some Japanese but it’s not much, seems to be a quick learner.”

Kaigaku shrugged, “Don’t care as long as she stays out of my way.”

“You boys gather the wood for the night?” Kuwajima questioned Zenitsu as he nodded brightly. “Good, I’ll get a hotpot started, you take that load in, and show Rikka to her room.” 

”Of course! Follow me Rikka!” I tilted my head, but recognized the words Kuwajima said earlier. I nodded and followed Zenitsu, through the building, and he slid open a door, “This will be your room! There should be a spare Yukata as well! I’ll be back when the food is finished!” 

Rather some food was brought to me as opposed to sharing a hot pot with them. A small amount of rice, some Miso soup, and a small loaf of bread. Upon finishing, I took the dishes out and washed them in a sink before going back. I got dressed in the provided Yukata, and noticed someone pulled out a Futon for me. For now they seemed to be giving me space?

I sighed. At least it was no Hunger Games, or Battle Royale. No Dinosaurs. But Demons…Not sure if that was the upside of things. 

[tipsydipsydo]

Pairing: Dom! Namjoon x bratty Sub! Reader x Dom! Hoseok

Gender of the Reader: female

Word Count: 3.6k

Genre: SMUT!!! (Well, that’s not smut anymore, that’s literally porn) 99,6% Smut + 00,4%Fluff at the end

Warnings: …well… where should I begin?…THIS IS PURE PWP! Threesome, Polyamory, Dom-/Sub-Themes, Masturbation, Toys, Petnames, Degradation, filthy Name-Calling, Master-Kink, Daddy-Kink, Lots of really filthy Dirty Talk, Swearing, Spanking, HEAVY Assplay, Anal-Fingering, lot of Lube, Pussy-Exhibitionism(?), Pussy Slapping, Mirror-Sex/Making out, Double Penetration (vaginal + anal), Squirting, Unprotected Sex (be smart in RL pls!), Mentions of Aftercare wtf i’m doing with my life?! i need holy water.

A/N: This story got inspired by an idea of the lovely and absolute amazing @h0esvck , we texted smutty shit with each other. Originally it only should be a drabble. Well, here we are again with a 3.6k porn fic.

Summary: You are sexually frustrated, annoyed and bored, which is why you started to masturbate without the permission of your boyfriends Namjoon and Hoseok. Even if they promised to take care of your needs tonight. But you don’t feel like waiting anymore. But you also didn’t expect that Hobi catches you with your pastel blue dildo deep in your pussy…

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I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!

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Thank you.

With a sigh of pleasure, you let your head fall back into the countless pillows of your huge king size bed and close your eyes shortly afterwards. You tense the muscles of your ass with a wicked smile up and begin to moan softly as you feel the hard and unyielding metal clearly between your buttcheeks. God, you just love the feeling of your little hole being filled with a plug.

Just the thought that your sweet pussy will be stuffed with the big pastel blue dildo just makes you even wetter. You feel your arousal running down slowly over your butt and dripping on the towel under you. Hobi and Joon have promised to take today’s evening some time for their little princess off and takes care of you and your needs. But when you heard this promise you just roll your eyes.

They can promise you a lot when the day seems to be long. With the same words, they put you off last week and the week before. Sure, they have a hell of a lot to do, but then they shouldn’t keep giving you such empty promises again and again if they can’t keep them. You are tired of waiting and if they’re not able to satisfy your needs, then you do it yourself.

You have ignored your sexual desires way too long, you’ve had nothing between your legs for too long to be still able to endure this burning lust in your lower abdomen. Usually your boys ensure that your high sex drive is satisfied by themself and that you hardly have to lend a hand yourself, unless they are on tour. Only for this reason you have your own toy box, the other toys have been locked away by the boys, so you’re not tempted to help yourself without permission. What a pity that they forgot to take this box away from you~

You bite your lower lip in anticipation as you push the realistic modeled dildo into your greedy and impatiently waiting hole. You fill yourself inch by inch until you have the toy in your dripping cunt right up to the base. Your walls gripping the silicone cock firmly, your pussy has really sucked it in as if she were afraid that the dildo would be taken away from you again.

A slight blush of pure enjoyment settle down on your cheeks at the thought that both of your holes are stuffed. You have to admit, you have a small (well, more of a huge) kink for this, you just love the feeling of being completely filled.

You love that you’re even tighter and more sensitive than you already are when you wear a plug or anal beads. You love the sensation when you feel the plug clearly next to the dildo when you pulling it out or pushing it back into you. You love the idea of ​​loosening your tight hole up with a plug or anal dildo until it shines full of lube and start clenching around nothing, just waiting to be used as a play or fuck hole by the boys.

Your lips open a little bit to let the moans and whimpers escaping your throat as you pump the dildo in and out of your pussy faster and faster. The fingertips of your other hand rubs erratically over your clit. You just spread your thighs even more until you are completely bare and open on the bed. The thought of being caught by someone, how you present yourself shamelessly like you are on a silver tablet and fuck yourself with toys makes you so fucking horny.

…well, you didn’t expect to be really caught, and especially not by Hoseok!

“Oh, look, who do we have here? Has someone been so impatient and desperate for a cock that a crappy fake cock seems to be content for you and just couldn’t wait for a real cock? What should I do with a cockslut like you are now? Hm?”

Surprised and also half horrified, your eyes snaps open and your body drive up straight in the bed. Out of sheer alarm, you just forgot that the dildo is still halfway inside your pussy.

Actually, he shouldn’t be at home yet, isn’t he still at dance practice?!

“H-Hobi … w-what are you doing here? Don’t you have practice right now? …and it’s not what it looks like, believe me! H-Haha!”, you try a little giggle to ease the tension in the room, but it comes out more hysterical than casual.

But Hobi doesn’t laugh, he just looks at you with a hard, cold gaze that gives you chills running down your back and goosebumps are forming on your skin. Then, he finally breaks the eye contact, which makes you gasp in relief. But then he pulls his phone out of his jeans pocket and seems to be typing a message. Oh god, no, no, no! Don’t text Namjoon, please don’t inform Namjoon about this here! When Hoseok seems to be pressing the send button, he looks up again, this time with a devilish smile on his lips. Now he puts his phone back into his pocket.

Oh God… you’re going to be in trouble, definitely!

“Hobi, I can explain everything, really! I-”

He gives you this intimidating and dominant look, so that you know that the smartest you could do right now is, to immediately shutting your babbling mouth.

“I don’t want to hear your excuses, you know the rules very well. And don’t call me ‘Hobi’, understand?”

“Y-Yes Master.”

“Right, that’s what I am for you. At least on this point you are a good girl and correct your mistakes. And now, take this dildo out of your slutty plussy and bend over my knee.”

You gulp hard and you notice how your cheeks become involuntarily hot with embarrassment, having disappointed your master so much with being such a bratty babygirl. At the same time, this embarassment also causes that a wild ball of excitement, desire and anticipation forms in your lower belly, which immediately attacks your pussy and even more arousal sticks now to the insides of your thighs.

You cannot really explain it, but on the one hand you are ashamed of your bratty behavior, on the other hand you are looking forward to your punishment in a kinda masochistic-exited way.

With shaky fingers and a little whimper, you pull the dildo out of yourself, right after that you feel how your empty hole is yearningly searching for something, clenching around nothing. Hoseok sat down on the edge of the bed, directly on the opposite side of the huge full body mirror, which takes almost the whole wall up on this side of the room. He turns his head to you and raises his eyebrow questioningly as if he wants ask why it takes you so long. With hasty steps on all fours you crawl over to him and climb with both hands over his lap and lie down on it with your lower middle.

A shock runs through your whole body when you realize, that you’re still wearing the plug, but it has previously seemed as if Hoseok had not noticed yet that you were wearing one.

You quickly turn your crimson red face around and try to hide it in the bed sheets. You start counting the seconds in your head until he notice the basis of the plug with the declaration “Daddy’s Girl”, a plug that Namjoon gave you a while ago.

“Oh, look what I found here between these perfectly round asscheeks… you’re such a greedy bitch, Princess. One stuffed hole isn’t enough for you? No, our little doll need both holes filled. Only for that you you earn it that I spank your ass. While you’re wearing the plug, you just love it when your asshole is stuffed. You’ll love it!”, wispers Hoseok in a sadistic voice and dreamily twiddle a bit on the plug before he pulls your butt up, so that you’re sticking your ass up in the air now. You feel the cold air on your wet pussy, makes you shiver briefly. You bet you’re dripping on Hoseok’s jeans.

“And now, count.”

A surprised yelp comes from your lips when the first slap on your right cheek comes faster and harder than you expected. The slap burns slightly on your skin, luckily the pain goes away pretty quickly. But as soon as the pain of the first slap is over, the second slap follows on your left ass cheek.

“I said count!”

Hoseok reminds you in a deep, ice-cold voice and gives you a accusing slap on both buttcheeks, right over the plug.

You whimper and start counting, try to not let yourself get too distracted by the slaps. The slaps themselves are not even the problem, rather you have to fight with the burning sensation on your skin and at the same time with the raging feeling of pleasure in your abdomen, where sexual pleasure mixes with the pain and creates an explosive mixture of desire. Your fingers gripping the bed sheets hard and you’re breathing heavy, especially these specific slaps directly on your plug kills you.

They hurt, of course, but the direct hit on the plug stimulates countless nerve endings on your muscle ring, triggering a wave of euphoric lust that almost makes you beg for more slaps. When Hoseok notices the effect of the slaps on the plug in your body, a diabolic smile flits across your lips.

“Princess, spread your legs a little bit more and support yourself by your shoulders, reach back and spread your ass cheeks for your master.”

You are confused, but you don’t dare to ask and follow the instructions without any comment. You gasp in disbelief when you feel how Hoseok grabs the base of the plug and slowly pulls it out of you, only to immediately place the plug back onto your puckered hole and tease with the tip of the plug your muscle ring, which is glistening of all the Lube.

“Princess, control yourself. Don’t be greedy and don’t just suck the plug back in right away just because I’m slowly pushing it back into you. We’ll practice it until you can control your little fuckhole.”

That’s how it goes. If your ass is too fast and your rosy muscle ring has eagerly sucked the plug in again, Hobi will pull it out immediately and start the next attempt. But not before he gave you a gentle and reprimand slap on your pussy lips and clit.

You notice how you loosen up more and more. The plug slides with every new attempt in and out more and more easily, without your muscle ring immediately having the plug firmly enclosed again.

“Well, that’s just a little bit of training. Now Bunny, you’ll get a little more training~”, purrs Hoseok and seems to be extremely satisfied with himself. You don’t care what kind of training is incoming, you just pray that your asshole or pussy is going to be filled with something. You can’t stand any longer being so empty, you are pretty much too worked up for that.

You can feel how Hoseok is turning away with his upper body and apparently putting the plug on the towel and reaching instead for the tube with the lubricant and the box with the one-way latex gloves. Oh fuck yes! Please, please, please, fuck my tiny asshole with your fingers!

Your arms, which have gradually become a bit numb, get a new adrenaline rush by the thought and you spread your buttcheeks even more. A deep chuckle comes from Hoseok’s throat.

“It seems like my little slut can hardly wait to get her asshole fingered and stretched open for a big, fat cock, right? Do you want it? Do you want that your Master scissoring that tiny asspussy open for your Master’s long cock? What do you want my sweet cum-bunny?”

His filthy dirty talk is driving you crazy, he knows your soft spots too well. You feel your hips shaking, you can’t remember wanting your ass fingerfucked so freaking bad.

“Yes, yes, yes, p-please Master! Fuck my little slutty asshole open with your fingers, please! Let my muscle ring be loose, turn my asshole into a soft and stretched asspussy for your cock! … please, please , please!”

Hoseok curse under his breath, which puts a little satisfied grin on your lips. You also know exactly what kind of words you should use to drive Hoseok insane.

“I’m gonna fingerfuck that little hole of yours properly into a wonderful asspussy, trust me.”

You hear him putting a pair of latex gloves one and use two fingers of his left hand to push the plush around your rosey, puckered hole away and then press a thick layer of cool lube out of the tube onto your muscle ring.

You whine and buck your hips up, can’t wait to feel his fingers inside of you. The first one of his deliciously long fingers slides into your hole, a short time later the second follows after he has determined how well relaxed you are already. He stretches you open with his index and middle fingers so that he can add his ring Finger now too. His movements are getting faster and faster and your whimpering and moaning are getting louder until Hoseok abruptly withdraws the fingers.

He’s breathing hard now and a glance from the corner of your eye is enough to see that he have enough of the training and preparations.

“Princess, open Masters pants and get his dick out and prepare it properly with a thick coat of lube. We both love it messy and slippery with a lot of lube, right? You little anal queen just love the squelching noises your ass makes when I fuck you hard from behind … I always see how your pussy is gushing with arousal when we have a sloppy anal fuck … ”, he whispers in your ear.

You have never been so quick to get his rock-hard, deliciously long and average thick cock out of his pants and to coat it with lube. Then he guides you with your back to him on your knees over his lap, he positions the tip of his cock on your entrance and you let yourself down slowly, relishfully slide down onto this wonderful cock with your asscheeks being spread apart. Take this beast of a cock inch by inch until you’re completely sitting on Hoseok’s lap and stuffed the entire length of his cock down to the base into your ass.

The stretched and filled feeling is so delightful that you let out a long moan of pleasure. You just want to lift yourself up again, then lower yourself back onto his lap to ride him, but Hoseok holds you by the waist with an iron hand.

“No, princess. You’ll stay right here and just pull your feet forward. You should no longer kneel, but squat down in such a way that we can watch your dripping and pretty empty pussy in the mirror together. How needy your little pussy hole is to be stuffed up and how wonderful your asshole is already stuffed with a cock. Just a little anal cockwarming, nothing bad. And now we just wait for Namjoon and you can ask him then if he fucks your little pussy, so our cumslut is satisfied and has a load of cum in both of her holes. But now you can practice being patient!”

That could only be a bad joke from Hoseok… but his smile in the mirror tells you a different story. He’s absolutely serious.

In the end there were only twenty minutes left to wait for the third person in your relationship, but it was by far the worst twenty minutes of your life. Hobi forbade every little bouncer on his cock and if you tried, he gave you a quick slap on the clit, which made you whimper in desperation. You were close to tears and when you heard the key in the lock of the front door, you couldn’t hold back and called Namjoon in a tearful voice.

“Daddy, Daddy! Please, please, please, I-I need you, I can’t take it anymore! Daddy, please come!”

Namjoon takes a quick step in the direction of your bedroom and when he opens the door, a surprised expression is written on his face, which quickly changes into the diabolical smirk of the personification of the devil.

“Hm? What’s the matter, princess? Did you get your punishment for being a bratty horny girl today? Hm? Let your Master you wait until Daddy comes home? Did she learn what it means to be patient and not bratty? ”

“Yes, yes, yes! I learned my bitter lesson! B-But please fuck me now! D-Daddy, I need your cock in my pussy to be finally able to cum! P-Please!”

To prove how much you need Namjoon’s cock, Hoseok reaches around your waist, between your gorgeous thighs and spreads your glistening pussy lips with his index and middle finger and presents Namjoon your dripping entrance which is desperately clenching and just scream to be stretched, fucked and filled with cum until it’s leaking out.

“God Hoseok, what did you done with our pretty little doll? She’s desperate like a doggy bitch in her heat, whining and just literally begging for cocks! Calm down, Babygirl. Master and Daddy got you and we’ll take care of your attention seeking holes proberly. ”, says Namjoon and gives you a gentle look, which is destroyed by the dirty smirk in the corners of his mouth.

“Hoseok, keep her spreaded like that. I want to see how well I stretch her pussy open when I’m entering her with my cock.”

Quickly the pants and boxer briefs from Namjoon slipped down and now hanging halfway on his thick thighs and he rubs his beautiful cock two or three times with a cocky grin in his damn beautiful face. And then, finally, finally, finally he glides in your arousal leaking hole and fill you up to the maxium of the possible. A high pitched scream leaves your lips as the brutal fucking begins.

Hoseok lies down on his back, holds your hip with his hands in position with and thrusts from below into your asshole. Namjoon has your legs hooked onto his arms with the bottom side of your knees and grab your thighs roughly while he fucks the shit out of you. You wrapped helplessly your arms around Namjoon’s neck, trying to find a halt somewhere with this animalistic fuck.

“Fuck Baby, I love it when we fuck you together, you are always so fucking tight and I feel Hoseoks Cock fucking you right next to mine. How does it feel? How does it feel being fucked by two thick cocks? You love it, right? You literally live on our dicks, you’re such a filthy cockslut! But you’re our cockslut! And our precious cute cum-bunny, our bunbun what loves to be filled with our thick cum cream!”

More and more high pitched screams full of pure primal need and pleasure comes over your lips, you are so damn near to exlode and to cum so hard like never before. And then put Hoseok the cherry on top and let his fingers in your pussy glidung to your clit and start rubbing and flicking it roughly. It seems, there is so much more in your body to burst and before you’re able to think it to a proper end, you just can feel it.

Clear cum is gushing out of your pussy, over and over again, it seems like there is no end. That’s the first time that you squirted and that’s so freaking damn hot, the boys are eager to milk the very last drop of cum out of your pussy and just rubbing your clit over and over again. Until you sob, you can’t anymore and your clit is so swollen and sore. But the boys aren’t done yet. They have to fill you up too!

You don’t know if you start crying out of pleasure or overstimulation. But when they shoot grunting and groaning their thick cum loads into your holes, you are trembling and sobbing, just completely wrecked. In a good way. You never felt so satisfied and kinda… happy? Calmness slowly returns to the room, you can only hear the heavy breathing of you three.

“Did you learn your lesson that you shouldn’t be disobedient, baby girl?” Namjoon asks you, lifting your chin, looking you straight in the eye. Your voice doesn’t want to work, so you just nod and look at him honestly. A tender smile spreads on his lips. “Good, princess.”

“Hobi, would you please carry her to the bathroom and clean her with a warm, soft washcloth? Then you could let a bath in for the three of us, I’ll come a bit later, I just think I should clean the mess our princess causes and re-make the bed with a new set of bed sheets.”, says Joon with an amused wink into your direction.

Embarrassed, you hide your blushing face on Hobi’s shoulder, who carries you laughing into the bathroom and gives you a gentle kiss on the forehead.

[onechicago-upsteadrhekker]

Oh my gosh, you guys! First of all, I am so sorry @cpdfan231 that it has taken me so freakin’ long to finish your request (I’m still working on the other one) but I finally finished it and I hope that you enjoy it and that it was worth the wait! 

Also, I’m hesitant to say this because I’m terrible at actually posting/finishing fanfics when I say that I’m going to but apparently I can’t learn but I’m hoping that I will be able to post a prompt fic every Wednesday until the show starts...and possibly after that too. And for those of you asking about Dancing in the Minefields I’m gonna do everything I can in my power to finish it relatively soon!

Thank you all so much for the continued support and please enjoy!

@cpdfan231 requested #26 “can you two please get a room?”

you’re already mine

Hailey rolled her eyes, her arms tightly crossed under her breasts, “You know the drill. You either work for me or I file the those possession charges,” She narrowed her eyes, glaring harder to let Tyler know she meant business.

He fidgeted, scowling. Hailey shifted, her patience running thin, “So what’s it gonna be? You got ten seconds to let me know.”

Tyler threw his hands up, “Alright, alright.”

Hailey relaxed marginally, watching as her CI paced around his run-down house in aggravation before he stopped and looked at her in disdain, “I help you and I’m done, alright? You’ve had cops pounding on my door for the past six months and I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me so I’m done working for the police.”

She pressed her lips together, silently sizing him up. Tyler’s been one of the most ornery, hard-headed CI’s she’s ever had and he’d been a pain in her ass ever since she’d popped him with coke back in the summer. 

And truthfully, he had worked off the drug charge a couple months back but it had been like pulling teeth to get any information out of him and while the information had been useful, she wasn’t about to let him get off easily with that kind of attitude so she hadn’t said anything. 

Besides, as much as she’d fought with him, he did provide good info; Tyler was seemingly plugged in everywhere so she’d decided to keep him working for a little while longer but now she was more than ready to let him off the hook. She was way too tired of dealing with him.

“Okay,” She gave a short nod, “This one more thing but you gotta cooperate and you gotta give me everything.” Hailey leveled him with another glare to show him how serious she was, “This isn’t like those other things I had you do. You’re going to be working with my team, working for Intelligence and you’re going to have to wear a wire and you’re going to have to do exactly what I say. No funny business and then you never have to see me again, alright?”

Tyler gave her a smirk, “Well, I wouldn’t mind seeing you again just so long as it’s not in a police capacity.”

Hailey resisted punching him in the face. That was another thing; he endlessly flirted with her and it was most definitely unwelcome. Tyler was a selfish dead beat who hung out with criminals in Canaryville and that was the only reason why she made him a CI instead of charging him. And it was pure-luck that she caught him with possession in the first place; she wasn’t even supposed to be on duty when she’d snatched him up and she wasn’t about to waste an in with a no-snitch neighborhood.

Although there were times she seriously regretted it.

Hailey blew out a breath, spinning around to stomp out the door, throwing directions over her shoulder, “Be at the 21st district in an hour and be discrete about getting there.” Then slamming the door shut. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Here’s your wire. We’ll be right outside, listening,” Hailey handed Tyler the piece of equipment for him to attach to his shirt. She glanced at him, “Make sure it’s hidden.”

Jay looked up from the tablet he was holding, “Usually we would have someone under to shadow you but it’s Canaryville and anyone we placed would stick out like a sore thumb so, you’re on your on to a point. Be careful about getting the information, don’t push too hard.”

“Talk for me,” Hailey messed with something on the computer she had on her lap. Tyler shot her a look that clearly said he wanted to be anywhere but here, “I am talking. I’ll get your information and then I’m done.”

Hailey shared a subtle look with Jay, sighing in annoyance, “Yes, Tyler.”

She closed the laptop and she and Jay gathered the stuff they needed. Jay motioned for Tyler to get up, “Alright, we’re set. We’ll drop you off at the diner.”

Jay grabbed the box of technology from her, slightly brushing up against her and giving her a small smile which helped ease the tension she felt in her shoulders. She restrained herself from wanting to peck him on the cheek because she knew Tyler was right behind them.

Jay headed out the door towards the parking lot and Hailey waited for Tyler to start moving as she brought up the rear, “I didn’t know you needed any help carrying boxes ‘cause I would’ve gladly helped you out. I can be chivalrous if that’s what you want.” Tyler threw smirk over his shoulder and in response Hailey gave him a not-so-light shove.

God, if she could only get through this one thing she’d be rid of him and his stupid, useless flirting.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

“He’s a real charmer,” Jay shook his head in disbelief.

Hailey glanced at him, mumbling, “Yeah, tell me about it.”

They had just spent the last ten minutes listening to Tyler flirt with a couple of girls who flirted back and then proceeded to meet up with his buddies where they took bets on which girl they thought would be better in bed. They then took it a step further by daring each other to get one of the girls in their bed before the week was out to prove the previous bet.

He was finally getting to the actual reason of why he was in that particular diner with that particular group of friends for which Hailey was immensely grateful for because she had been about ready to go in there and kick his ass if she’d had to listen to anymore of that crap.

“It’s safe to say I will be more than happy to let Tyler off the hook once all this is over. He has been so difficult and it doesn’t help that he flirts with me every opportunity he gets,” Hailey sighed, rubbing a hand over her face.

Jay pulled a face, “And just for that I don’t like him.”

Hailey had to let out a little smile, “What? You jealous?”

He grimaced even more when he saw Hailey chuckling quietly to herself, “I don’t like creepy guys who have a criminal background flirting with my wife.” 

He shot her another look, “Sue me.”

She wasn’t even trying to hide her snickers anymore and Jay scrunched his face up at her, grabbing the binoculars she held in her hands while pointing a finger at her, “Or any guy for that matter.”

Hailey quickly leaned over to drop a kiss to the corner of his mouth, “You’re lucky I love you.”

The air changed around them into a charged warmth. Jay looked at her with a soft intensity, “Yeah, yeah I am.”

The moment was broken by Tyler’s voice filtering through the van, asking some very pointed questions about the money heists Intelligence was chasing. Their eyes widened as they shared an alarmed glance. 

Hailey felt like banging her head against the side of the van, “What is he doing? That is the very opposite of subtle.”

Jay rubbed a stressed hand over his face, “What happened to ‘don’t push too hard’? He’s going to get himself made or us. We need to pull him.”

Hailey shot Jay an aggravated glance, “We can’t. He refused an earpiece, remember?” She motioned towards the diner they were parked outside of, “Unless one of us goes in there and somehow says the safe word without getting made and Tyler actually listens.”

Jay was already shaking his head, “No, it’s too dangerous. We let it play out unless the situation starts to flip and then we go in.”

The next few minuets passed in an anxious silence as they listened to the information Tyler was getting by doing everything they had told him not to do but there hadn’t been any cause for them to rush in guns blazing yet, so they were resigned to waiting.

It took a few more minuets of waiting until finally, Tyler was strutting out of the diner with an over-confident smirk. Hailey and Jay watched as he jogged across the street to the waiting van.

Jay swung the sliding door open and Tyler was greeted with matching looks of annoyance and condemnation, “What the hell, man? That was not what we talked about.”

“I got your info, didn’t I?” 

Hailey refrained herself from wiping that cocky look off his face. She turned towards Jay, having a brief conversation with their eyes before grabbing the laptop to put in notes. She felt Jay lay a soothing hand on her knee as he leaned past her to grab the other laptop and she could smell the comforting smell of his cologne mixed with their laundry detergent.

“Oh my god,” Tyler suddenly complained, rolling his eyes, “Can you two please get a room?”

She and Jay turned towards him with startled looks. Tyler rolled his eyes again, “Oh come on, you guys have been giving each other heart eyes ever since we left. The sexual tension or chemistry or whatever is so obvious and don’t think I haven’t noticed those little touches you’ve been giving each other.”

All Hailey could do was blink and Jay had the same expression of bewilderment on his face as they stared at Tyler, taken aback by his somewhat inappropriate statement.

Tyler sighed dramatically at the stunned silence before giving Jay a look, “Look man, if you don’t want to do anything about it, then step aside because I would gladly get a room with her instead.”

Jay’s face morphed into a possessive, angered look and Hailey barely had time to sling an arm across his chest so he wouldn’t pounce on Tyler. The guy may have deserved whatever Jay was about to do but Hailey didn’t want him to get in any potential hot water—it just wasn’t worth it.

“I would back off if I were you,” It was a deep growl, and normally Hailey would be somewhat put out that Jay was speaking for her but she had to admit that he was pretty sexy when he defended her like that. His jaw firmly set and warning in his eyes.

“Why?” Tyler asked lazily, “You two dating or something?”

Jay’s eyes narrowed and she could feel him straining against the arm she still had slung across his chest. Hailey sent him a warning look.

His eyes locked onto hers in an intense silent battle for a few long seconds till she felt Jay relent, his body relaxing slightly and Hailey knew she had won this round. She cautiously lowered her arm, her eyes still trained on Jay’s to tell him she was serious about him not beating up Tyler.

Hailey glanced back at Tyler who had been watching this whole exchange like one would watch a soap opera. 

Jay busied himself with packing up the few pieces of equipment that was floating around in the back of the van and she could feel the huffiness coming off of him in waves as he calmed himself down.

She was watching Jay warily as he slid the box holding their tech underneath the table attached to the van wall before looking up to meet Tyler’s stare.

“No, actually, we aren’t dating,” He snapped grouchily, “We’re married, so I would appreciate it if you would stop eyeing my wife like a piece of meat and cut out the terrible flirting before I really lose it and knock you into next week. Okay? Thanks.”

And with that, Jay got up, stomped to the front to slide into the driver’s seat. He then started the van and pulled out of their spot.

Hailey didn’t really know what to say, torn between wanting to laugh at Tyler’s shocked expression or scowl at Jay for his obvious display of displeasure.

She was saved from having to come up with something to say because Tyler finally picked up his hanging jaw to squeak out, “You’re married!?”

Hailey sucked in her bottom lip before releasing it, affirming his startled exclamation with an exasperated “yep”, popping the ‘p’. She turned in her chair, leaving her CI in state of shock behind her.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” Tyler’s wounded but still somewhat shocked voice piped up.

Hailey rolled her eyes both amused and annoyed at how Tyler was responding at the information Jay had given him, “Nope.”

She barely discussed her personal life with people she knew so she certainly wasn’t going to share it with a CI. Her marriage to Jay didn’t concern Tyler; he wasn’t worth being let in on the thing she treasured most.

****************

They dropped Tyler off a few blocks from his house, his eyes still wide as Hailey bid him farewell for the last time supposing he didn’t get into any more trouble.

Jay had glared at him until he was out of sight and Hailey shook her head, rolling her eyes at Jay’s expression. She didn’t say anything even though she thought his sulky behavior was a little much.

They drove back to the district in silence; Hailey sitting in the floor in the back packing up surveillance equipment as Jay stewed in the driver’s seat. He pulled into the large garage that was attached to the 21st district, parking the van with the other undercover vehicles.

Hailey unscrewed the last camera lens to put it’s case when Jay slid open the van door. She looked up, watching as Jay glanced around the garage as if he was making sure there was no one around and she noticed he had a determined glint in his eyes.

“Jay?” She questioned as he popped his head back into the back of the van, holding out his hand obviously waiting for her to take it.  

He wiggled his fingers, “Come on. Hurry!” 

Hailey gave him a puzzled look but scooted out of the van anyways, allowing to him to grab her hand, “What are you doing Jay? What’s going on?”

He didn’t answer her, instead he stole across the garage floor, tugging Hailey along behind him. She thought they were headed for the door that led back into the district but Jay bypassed it, heading down the short hallway that held supply closets.

“What the hell, Jay?” He just gave her a self-satisfied smirk as he did one last glance around before opening the door to one of the supply closets and nudging her inside.

To say she was confused would be an understatement.

Hailey turned around to see Jay shutting the door behind him, locking it. He approached her and this time the look in his eye was one she instantly recognized.

Her eyes widened, disbelief playing across her face, “Jay Halstead! What do you think you’re doing?”

At this point, Jay was so close to her, she could feel the evidence of where his head was at. He reached down to nuzzle her ear, “I’m getting that room Tyler suggested we get.”

Hailey tried to resist but with him so close and his scent intoxicating her, it was hard not to cave into the kisses he was giving her neck.

“Jay,” She hissed. Well, it came out as more of a moan but that didn’t stop her from trying to bat his hands away from where they were sliding up her shirt, “We’re at work!”

Jay lifted his head, coming to kiss her at the corner of her lips, “That’s never stopped us before.”

She wanted to glare at him but she was starting to lose control of herself, her hands roaming up and down Jay’s broad back. 

And it was true. 

Being at work had never stopped them before no matter how much she tried to protest these little escapades so she figured once more probably wouldn’t hurt them.

Well, what did you think? I tried to write Hailey’s CI kind of like Adam’s CI in that one one episode so I guess that’s where I got my inspiration from. I hope you liked it and maybe it made you laugh. Love you all!

[badfey]

is there anything u wish u had known pre-top surgery? I’m trying to schedule mine next yr and I’m worried I rushed into picking my surgeon even tho I looked at a Lot. I’ve got a list of questions to ask but curious if there’s anything you can think of! Thanks, if u get a chance to reply 🥺

firstly congrats and good luck with your top surgery, i hope the wait goes quickly!!

There were a lot of things i wasn’t expecting about top surgery - not necessarily that i wish i’d known in advance, just that i didn’t anticipate. I wrote a document of them not long after surgery which ill post soon and link back to here :) right now ill go through the main stuff i wish i had known, and any questions i had (under a cut because it got long)

Stuff I Wish I’d Known

Some of this depends on how your surgeon does things. I had 6 days before my post-op appointment w chest reveal. 

That first week is tough. Ymmv, but for me it was really hard. I knew that post-op depression was a thing, i didn’t realise what it would feel like. For me it was a lot of being tired and not being able to sleep because of not being able to get comfortable (having to sleep elevated for a few days & pain), so getting more tired and bored but too fatigued to do anything in that classic frustrating cycle. Once i slept decently for the first time i felt human again (nytol is a lifesaver). It’s also tough bc ur sweaty n uncomfortable and u haven’t showered or taken off the post-op binder for a week, and with the dressings and swelling it doesn’t feel like its really happened yet? After chest reveal thats a lot easier

Sometimes moving around you’ll feel something like pull or pop and you get so so paranoid about pulling a stitch i seriously thought id pulled a stitch but its usually like the dressings adhesion or something, you don’t need to freak out. My best friend here was this uk trans fb group because i could search and find years of posts with ppl having the same problems, or ask and ppl would give advice and calm me down, so it’s good to join a community like that ready for if you inevitably get stressed about something (also good for post-op boredom)

You cant use your arms to move. Sounds obvious but like i never realised how much i reflexively rely on using arms to move sitting positions on a bed, and how you need to pay attention to override that impulse. 

Peeing after anesthetic is weirdly hard. It really helps if you practise consciously releasing the specific muscles to pee beforehand 

I was so hungry. I got fed sure (great food too) but i wish i had taken snacks. 

Questions to ask

Im gonna list some stuff that you may already know/have on your list but it might help fill any gaps :) 

When are your post-ops? Are they included in the surgery price? Mine were at 6 days (chest reveal) and 8 weeks (normally 6 weeks but my surgeon was on holiday lol) and both included in the price of surgery (which is standard for here i think). Its good to have rough timeframes in advance so you can plan around it.

Ask about revisions - are they included in the price, what is the timeframe you can get revisions for, how you would start the revision process if you need it? Hopefully you won’t need it but its important to know just in case & so you don’t need to worry about it. I think my surgeon got a bit touchy when I brought up revisions but i was just clear that if I’m getting this surgery and paying a lot of money for it i need to know this stuff in advance which as a professional he should be fine with.

Can you have a say in scar shape and/or nipple size? Usually you can, and this is often at the pre-op when they draw all over your chest before surgery. Don’t feel like you can't weigh in - this is your chest. Also even at consultation they might be able to give you an idea of what your scar/s will look like. 

If you’re getting nipple grafts, ask about their graft success rate!! I was super stressed about my nipples falling off, but my surgeon said that even though stats say about 10% of nipple grafts r unsuccessful, in practise he sees a much smaller percentage than that, and even ones that do reject often grow back (lmk if u wanna know more what i mean) or can just be easily touched up with tattooing. Also if theres anything they recommend for graft success.

Does your surgeon recommend using arnica? Arnica is a homeopathic remedy for bruising, swelling, and wound healing. There’s differing views on whether it actually works, but in my case i took arnica tablets 1 week before and 2 weeks post-op and i think it really helped. They also tasted nice. Some people use arnica gel to aid healing once you can start massaging. 

Where will you be for overnight recovery? Will you be on a ward or in a room? Do you have access to a TV? Do you have access to a plug socket or charging point? Do you get wifi? Chances are you’ll be bored at some point over the time you’re in there, especially if you struggle sleeping. It’s good to know whats available in advance so you can come with things to keep you entertained. 

Does your surgeon use drains? You probably already know/have an idea of this bc its something a lot of ppl consider when choosing surgeons, buts its good to know if you don’t. Also, it can change - I chose my surgeon partially because he only uses overnight drains so you don’t have to deal with them in recovery. When i was there i found out he has stopped using drains altogether for smaller guys so i never actually had them (pleasant surprise). 

Does your surgeon want you to wear a post-op binder? Do they supply the binder? Post-op binders r a good idea they stop swelling soo much, so even if your surgeon doesn’t recommend it i’d definitely ask if it’d be safe for you to wear one. You can't wear regular binders. If you’re sourcing your own, again trans groups r great bc they can give local recs and lots of people sell/pass on their old ones. I am happy to give anyone recs, but they’re all uk based. 

How will you communicate with nurses post-op? Most people don’t live too near their top surgeon, so you’ll probably check-up remotely. I just sent nurses emails of my nips and incisions and anything i was worried about the healing of and they’d let me know if it looked okay. 

If you have any conditions/disabilities/illnesses, ask if they’ve ever operated on someone with them/similar before. I have fibro + hypermobility and tbh it was reassuring to hear him talk about experiences other patients with chronic pain had had before and how they coped.

Okay sorry that was really long, but its pretty much everything i could think of question wise! I hope it helps! Let me know if there’s any other questions you have at all :)

[yehet-about-it]

BEST FRIENDS AND BANANAS: A SERIES OF AWKWARD EVENTS | Semester I Part 17 - Morning Sleepyhead

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~ An NCT Dream x Wayv College AU Social Media Series ~

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Semester I Synopsis: It’s your junior year at college and it’s been over a year since you were in a relationsip, but luckily you’re not short of eligble men to choose from. Your best friends are 6 rowdy boys (aka the dreamies) and your favourite girl Jiwon, but what happens when a fleeting romance with a handsome senior leads to big changes in your relationships?

Pairings: Jaemin x Reader, Best Friend!Renjun x Reader, Hendery x Reader, Choi San x Reader

Genre: College AU, Fluff, Comedy, Light smut in some parts

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of alcohol/drinking, references to a previous sexual encounter, mature content, this part isn’t that explicit but there are several references to sex things, so 17+!!

A/N: No social media for this update just writing! Sorry if it’s not the best, it’s been a while since I’ve written! 

~ Clara x

You woke up groggily, wincing as your eyes adjusted to the morning light. Scanning the room from atop your pillow you were relieved to see that you were in your own room, and not some strangers; that was the last thing you needed on top of the splitting headache that was about to hit you. However, as you became more aware of your surroundings, you realised there was a large bottle of water and several boxes of painkillers set on the nightstand, and suddenly you became painfully aware of the presence behind you.

 Apprehensively, you turned yourself over to see who the guest was taking residence on the other side of your bed, trying your best not to freak out, but your face softened when you saw your best friend shirtless and sat up under your covers, looking down at his phone, which was apparently plugged in to your charger. Your heart swelled at the familiar sight, his hair ruffled and unstyled, and his eyes a little red and tired, reminding you how sweet he was. But then it hit you. Images of the night before started seeping into your mind and you began to remember exactly what you had done. 

 You remembered stumbling hand in hand into the cab, smiling softly at Renjun as you passed by all the people on the sidewalk enjoying their Saturday night. You remembered the look he gave you, before he leaned over in the cab to kiss you for the first time, the raw intensity of it. You remembered kicking off your shoes as you tumbled into your apartment, wrapping yourself tightly around him as he kissed you up against the wall. You remembered his fingers grazing your skin as he hastily rid you of your clothes, his hot breath igniting a fire in your core as he roamed your body looking for your sweet spots. And most of all you remembered how good it felt. 

 Suddenly becoming aware of your changed state of consciousness, Renjun looked up from his phone, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Morning sleepyhead,” he said in his usual sweet tone, dropping his phone back on the night stand, a shy smile on his face. “Morning...” you managed to reply, unable to tear your eyes away from him, still shell-shocked from your memories of last night. “You feeling okay? I found you some painkillers if you need them,” he said calmly. You blinked back at him. The sheer shock had dulled the pounding of your headache but you couldn’t bring yourself to respond. Eventually, you managed to tear your gaze away from him and slowly sat up, resting your head against the head board, making sure to bring the covers with you since it had been brought to your attention that you were completely bare underneath. “Y/n?” He pressed. You looked back at him. “Renjun... I- We-...” Try as you might, you couldn’t finish the sentence. Really, you didn’t know what the hell you were going to say. You’d just had sex with your best friend and no words came to mind other than ‘WHAT. THE. FUCK?’ 

 “Yeah... We did…” Renjun spoke. What you couldn’t understand was how he wasn’t more flustered about the whole situation. Whenever any of the guys brought up any of his hook ups he’d turn red as a tomato and get all defensive, but right now he seemed weirdly collected given the situation you were in. “I’m sorry y/n. I really am,” he started. “We were both so drunk and I suppose it just happened. I- I’m sorry… I couldn’t help it…” You could now just about hear the flustered panic you had expected in his voice, but you weren’t doing any better. “We- we’re best friends! Best friends don’t have sex! What the hell were we thinking?!” You stuttered and there was an awkward silence for a moment as both of you sat there, the guilt sinking in. 

“I know,” he sighed. “I don’t know if you did it because you were drunk and sad about San, but I just couldn’t help it. I was wasted and the way you were being so cute in the cab and looking at me like that I couldn’t stop myself. Please don’t think I took advantage of you, I could never do that to you, and I’m sorry if you’re weirded out...” Your heart broke a little at his words. Renjun may have revealed himself as quite the sexual deviant but you didn’t want him to think he’d hurt you or betrayed your trust. “No it’s okay Renjun, I know you’d never take advantage of me. I mean, I was just as into it as you. But it’s a lot to process... We’re supposed to be the cute wholesome besties and we just had sex!” You squeaked. 

 There was a pause as you stared at Renjun, the bewilderment still evident on your face, but then you couldn’t help but let out a snigger, and soon you were laughing hysterically in your state of panic, at the sheer ridiculousness of the whole situation, and you had to shove your face into your pillow to get yourself to stop. No one would believe the two of you would have such intense raunchy sex. After you became friends the two of you had had to vehemently deny you were dating for months until everyone finally realised you were just two endearing people that happened to become inseparably close. So generally there wasn’t the faintest whiff of suspicion that the two of you might be hooking up, but now you’d both just spent the filthiest night together, exchanging the dirtiest whispers and drowning in the intense pleasure you brought each other. What wasn’t there to laugh about? 

 When you finally stopped laughing you sat up and stretched your head back against the head board. “Jesus, what have we done?” You shook your head trying to process everything. How on earth were you going to explain this? Did anyone else know? Was your friendship with Renjun ever going to be the same?

 “You know, it was really good…” you were pulled out of your thoughts as Renjun spoke, his words taking you by surprise. “I mean, I know you’re my best friend and it’s weird, but I don’t really regret it”. 

 “You don’t regret it?” You squeaked in disbelief. “Not really… I sort of freaked out at first, but I was thinking about it all morning and I realised it’s not that bad. Nothing’s really changed other than now I know how pretty you look naked... and when you’re coming...” You looked up at Renjun, not believing what you were hearing. His expression was serious but his cheeks were tinted slightly pink, showing just a hint of embarrassment. “Oh my god Renjun!” You yelped. Where the hell had your reserved best friend gone? You knew he could be what could be described as ‘satan-like’ when it came to the boys and their bantering, but you’d never known him to be so explicitly sexually forward. “Sorry! Sorry! I’m just saying, you were really good…” When Renjun stopped speaking, a moment passed and you let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. He... was okay with it? What’s more, he even liked it? 

This was all too much for you to process in the morning, especially with a hangover, but then the memories kept playing over and over in your head. Did you like it too? You could feel the dull ache of your core after the pounding it had taken last night and you were reminded of the dirty things he had whispered in your ear as you took him all in. 

“You like that baby girl?” 

“I can make you feel better than San ever could...” 

“Good girl, come for me, that’s it...”

The heat rose in your cheeks as you realised how much you had liked hearing those words. How much you had enjoyed seeing your supposedly angelic best friend become such a sinful and depraved pervert for you. You tried to shake the thoughts off, but it was no use. It didn’t help that Renjun was staring back at you with his cute morning eyes, in all his naked glory, his toned but slender chest exposed above the covers. 

 You blushed furiously, holding your side of the covers a little tighter against your chest. “It- it wasn’t bad I suppose…” you mumbled. Your mind and body were in a heated conflict. Every fibre of your brain was screaming that this was the worst thing to happen to you since Kim Seunghun rejected you in front of your entire class in 5th grade, but the warmth coursing through your body was saying otherwise. 

 Renjun’s words had definitely caused the sexual tension to return to the room and not being able to deal with the awkwardness you busied yourself reaching for the water on your nightstand and popping an aspirin. Swallowing the tablet you sunk back down under the covers and sighed. “We absolutely cannot tell anyone about this Renjun. Absolutely no one. I don’t even want to think about what the guys would have to say about it.” You frowned. You knew if the others were to find out about this you’d never hear the end of it. You’d spent all that time proving to them that there was nothing vaguely romantic or sexual about your relationship with Renjun after their incessant teasing in first year and you weren’t about to shatter the peace in that regard. “Yeah, they give me enough shit as it is,” Renjun agreed. “We’re okay though right? I don’t want this to change our friendship or anything.” Renjun bit his lip as he looked at you nervously. Your annoyance at the thought of the likes of Jeno finding out dissipated when you saw how genuinely worried he looked. Renjun had been your best friend almost since you first met in your freshman year, and at this point neither of you could imagine being without the other and you certainly weren’t going to let a minor inconvenience like accidentally hooking up come between the two of you. “Of course we are junnie, it- it was just a drunken mistake. So we can just forget it and move on,” you said. After all, it was true. It was just sex, and nothing you need fall out over. People had gotten over worse.

 Renjun smiled at you softly, relieved you weren’t mad at him and having discussed the topic to your satisfaction, you sighed a breath of relief. You and Renjun were going to be okay, but you still couldn’t get the image of him hovering above you with his hand wrapped round your thigh as he fucked you out of your mind. Pushing the sexual thoughts to the back of your mind for the sake of your own sanity, you sat for a moment attempting to prepare yourself to get out of bed and start your day. “Well, I guess we should shower and get dressed! I feel gross… We worked up quite the sweat last night” you chirped, just wanting the morning to be over already. Renjun hummed in agreement. “I’d say we should go get food after, but I have an art project I really need to get on with, I’m gonna text Jeno to pick me up.” You pouted, since Renjun always took you to get food when you were hungover, but then you remembered you had a cupboard full of instant ramen you could eat to your heart’s content and you cheered up slightly. “Hm, okay” you sighed. 

 The two of you set about cleaning up, you letting Renjun shower first so you could make yourself decent withhout prying eyes and when you were finished showering you emerged from the bathroom brushing your hair as Renjun sat on the end of your bed lacing up his shoes. “You know, you- really weren’t how I would’ve expected. I guess you really are as perverted as everyone says...” you joked. Renjun chuckled shyly at that, standing up and grabbing his jacket.. “Oh you’ve no idea,” he said. You raised your eyebrows. His angelic image was now well and truly shattered. “Yes, well, please spare me,” you said. “Now get your kinky ass out of my apartment.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @patchi-chi @classic-antifood @stopitvpls @arimeetsevil @strayteezjinnie @colpen @yuuuumiiin

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[of-another-broken-heart]

I guess it’s time for another pointless update about the worsening state of my life.

I’ll get the rosy stuff out of the way first.

I finally got in the shower today. 

It took 2 days of chilly autumn-like rain for me to be able to rest enough, and then not be overheated into useless exhaustion and nausea, to do it. But I got in the shower. I shampooed my hair, several times, to get through the summer heat sweat and oil. I did conditioner, twice, because I am losing hair and what’s left is thinning pretty badly. I rubbed a bunch of soaked dead skin off my body with just my hands. I tried to finish off a bottle of body soap that I got... years ago. I unloaded an unreasonable amount of soap onto my loofa and made suds and scrubbed for a while. I’ll never feel fully clean until I can actually soak and rub everything off, but it’s better. 

A couple days ago, I asked mom if we could go to the beach for a little bit. It had been hot. Unbearably hot. It was evening by the time I asked - still before sunset, though. So we went for a little while, an hour maybe? I waded into the water up to my knees. It was cold. Tide was going out, nearly at low. I don’t love the beaches here. The sand is coarse. There are loads of rocks and shells - plenty with brutal sharp edges. And I didn’t bring water shoes with me. But I hobbled across the rocks and shells, and slimy low-tide seaweed, and the muddy silt in the shallows, to stand up to my knees and just... enjoy the cold water.  My mom went in a little deeper than I did. She brought water shoes and a clam rake, so she went clamming. I started feeling some vertigo and retreated back to the towel mom had laid down on the sand. I had brought a book - one of the thyroid books I checked out months ago, and still haven’t finished a single one - but instead I took out my phone and checked some messages, and took a few pictures.  Mom brought up 14 good clams. We didn’t linger much after that. The sun dipped below the trees, evening flies and gnats started to come out. We headed home.  Mom made some linguini with clam sauce tonight. And some baked clams. 

And that ends the rosy stuff.

I’m still plagued with uncontrollable preoccupation with a manipulative, abusive, probably narcissist who took my years of recovery from the last person who fucked me up, and threw it all in the trash, and doesn’t give a single shit about any of it. Someone who knows the language of the damaged and abuses it to get what he wants out of people, and throws them away the instant they don’t fit his desires, or prove to have morals more durable than his lies. 

I still miss the biggest lie. The fake person. It will never not hurt, that I fell for a falsehood. That I was so easy to trick and trap and use and abuse and discard. I hate how happy I was, just briefly, and how I’m going to pay for it, for years now. 

My heart is failing. There’s no way around it. I’m in bed half of every day. I am taking every possible measure within my grasp to “manage my stress” and none of it has had any real impact on my blood pressure. I try to avoid things that stress me out. Socio-economic struggle is not some scratchy sweater you can choose to remove, though - it’s the air in my lungs and the blood in my veins and I am stuck with that. I “avoid salt” in the way that I always have - by barely eating, because of guilt and shame and poverty and, now, relentless nausea. I “cut back on alcohol” the same way I always have - poverty makes it very easy to be unable to afford it, and if you don’t have it, you can’t drink it. I am “managing my weight” the same way I always have - which is to say, alternating between rolling my eyes at the baseless suggestion, and starving myself in the ways I already mentioned. 

My systolic pressure is always high. Always. Even at my lowest readings, it falls in the “Elevated” category. Diastolic varies. It’s usually the high end of normal, but creeps over the threshold sometimes. Pulse has been... weird. Most of my readings were in the 70s, perfectly normal. Recently, with the heat and humidity and relentless stress, I’ve had irregular and elevated heart beat. Still hasn’t crossed 100 bpm (the limit for “normal”) but it’s gotten close. 

I have my next doctor’s appointment in a few days. Tuesday. It’s giving me anxiety. I never phoned in to update about the trazodone or lisinopril like I meant to. I want my fatigue taken seriously, and I know it won’t be. I have some tests I’d like to know the results of, and I feel like my requests will get denied, just like my requests for COVID tests were. 

I just want a real answer. I’m tired of trial after trial after trial, wasting literal years of my life, and costing what remains of my health, because doctors and western medicine in general would rather I remain undiagnosed and unhelped than concede to an incurable condition that can’t be “exercised” away. 

CFS. I meet every criteria. I have met every criteria for years. Even the “loophole” part about symptoms being chalked up to other conditions - even that doesn’t actually stand up any more. Because I have been in treatment for those conditions, and the symptoms persisted, which means there is something else going on and it’s CFS. 

It’s summer. We’re poor. We’re trapped here. It’s hot. Unbearably hot. We don’t have A/C. I don’t, anyway. I am a living stereotype, I am stuck in an unfinished cement block basement, surrounded by dust and dirt and cobwebs and moths and beetles and spiders and assorted flying biting things, always. We have humidity here. High humidity. Wet-bulb temperature is low here, the humidity is so high. Human thermoregulation relies on sweat evaporation, and high humidity means evaporation doesn’t happen, which means lower temperatures in high humidity are just as dangerous, even fatal, as higher temperatures in dry air. 

I’m alone. I’m so fucking alone. I’m trying, like a crazed person, to reach out to people, every single day, to feel less alone. But the instant the conversation is gone, I’m crying. Because I’m still in this basement, a thousand miles from anyone who cares about me, lit by a single shitty bulb

 - not even in the ceiling any more, no! The switch jammed, the pull cable doesn’t toggle into the “on” position any more, so the ceiling light is just an outlet now. At least it didn’t die outright, or I wouldn’t even have my computer, or chargers, or tablet, or phone. It’s my only outlet. But I went nearly a week in total darkness, because we’re poor. This isn’t our house. None of us are electricians. We can’t fix the thing. So my mom, on a day off, when i managed to be awake while the sun was barely still up, snaked an extension chord through the house’s foundation, to plug in an old heat lamp (with a normal bulb, not a heat bulb) and that’s what I have now. 

Everything gets worse. Never better. I’m going to die here. And sooner than later. Because my health is getting worse, rapidly, too.

[jeranasblog]

Starker Kink Advent Calendar - Day 6

Summary: Peter marries Tony because he wants to keep working. Tony marries Peter because he doesn’t want the boy’s brilliance to go to waste. Neither one of them expects an overwhelming attraction to unfold between them. Feelings, insecurities, and doubts tangle together until they find themselves inextricably linked. And what happens when a surprise turns everything upside down?

24 days, 24 chapters, 24 kinks

Pairing:  Peter Parker/Tony Stark

Rating: E

Notes:  Hey guys. I’ve decided to write a “Starker Kink Advent Calendar” this year, so 24 chapters with 24 different kinks. Enjoy <3

Warnings: Check all the sex tags on Ao3, maybe slight dubcon? They didn’t talk about Somnophilia before.

Read on Ao3

~⭐~

Day 6 - Somnophilia @itfeelssogoodmrstark​, @sinditia​ and Lien from @twokinkybeans​

When Tony woke up the next morning, Peter was still asleep. Tony had planned to wake his Omega with breakfast, but Peter had been knocked out so thoroughly last night that the Alpha decided to let him rest. A heat was always exhausting for Omegas and Peter’s had hit very hard. 

 So Tony made himself a coffee and went into his study to get work done before Peter required his attention again. He smiled while he listened to the deep rumble of the coffee machine. Peter was beautiful in his need and Tony was honored to spend the heat with his husband. 

 Finally back on caffeine again, Tony quickly checked his mails and called Pepper for an update. Nothing terrible had happened, just a few impatient customers and an issue with the company’s system software, but Pepper could handle it. After not even half an hour, Tony could close his laptop and he decided to climb back into bed with his tablet. He wanted to be close to Peter in case the Omega woke up.

 Peter was still asleep. His head was buried in his pillow so Tony could only see the brown curls. The blanket was only covering one of Peter’s legs, giving Tony a perfect view of the plump little ass. Peter’s cheeks were glistening with slick, and it wouldn’t change until the end of the heat, enticing the Alpha to just take the boy. Tony had to fight the urge to press the Omega into the sheets and fuck him again. Peter deserved some rest after all. 

 So Tony focused on the tablet and opened the blueprints of the new phone Stark Industries planned to launch soon. Work was always a nice distraction, and he could even forget his half-hard cock for a minute which refused to go down because the entire bedroom was drenched in Peter’s heat scent. 

 Tony had wanted to stay strong, he really, did, but an hour later his patience was tested because Peter started to shift. The Omega was still asleep, but the next wave hit anyway. 

 “Alpha.” Peter whimpered in his sleep, his voice so needy and high-pitched that it took all of Tony’s control not to just take him right now. At least, he had to wait until Peter would wake up. 

 Trying to focus on his work again, Tony did his best to not watch the beautiful man next to him who just started rubbing against the mattress. Peter was a temptation and Tony curled his hands into fists to gather his self-control. What had he done to get tested like this?

Apparently, the universe hated him because when Tony finally managed to skim through another page of the blueprints, Peter’s heat got worse. The boy was still asleep, but he instinctively seemed to sense the proximity of his Alpha because he shifted his hips until his ass was pressed snugly against Tony’s outer thigh. 

 It was torture. The Alpha could feel the slick dripping out of Peter, drenching Tony’s sweatpants until he could feel it on his skin. The scent was heady, sweet and enticing, inviting the Alpha to let loose and fuck his perfect needy Omega. 

 Tony tried to focus on anything else, tried to focus on work, boring business meetings, and all the things he had to do when he’d be back at the office, but it took one more sound of the perfect creature next to him, one rub against Tony’s thighs, and the thoughts were blown away. He needed his Omega. Needed him now. 

 “Need you, Alpha.” Peter’s voice was slurred, too thin for the Omega to be awake. Tony hadn’t known that his husband talked in his sleep until now. 

 Tony knew it wasn’t right when he pressed against Peter’s back, but he couldn’t stop himself from noticing how perfectly Peter’s back fit against his chest. He buried his nose in the brown curls, taking another whiff of his Omega’s arousal before he shifted his cock until it nudged against Peter’s crack. It wouldn’t be his fault if Peter took it, right?

 It was agony to keep still with a whining Omega in his arms who couldn’t stop whimpering the Alpha’s name, but Tony was willing to fight against his own impatience. Peter was still asleep, it wasn’t right. In the end, it was Peter who pressed back so Tony entered the warm heat, and if Tony had held his cock in the right position for the Omega to take it, no one had to know. 

 An inch inside the delicious wetness and Tony already moaned in pleasure. It felt good, almost too good, and sleep made Peter even more pliant so Tony could use him without even thinking about prep. He would just hold still and let Peter’s instincts do the work. Tony didn’t want to wake him by ramming his cock into Peter. He wasn’t a monster!

 Tony’s resolve to be careful held five minutes. Five minutes of gentle thrusts, whispered words, and soothing sounds. Tony savored the heat around his tip, entering Peter so slowly it almost hurt, but he didn’t want to wake his Omega up. 

 That was until Peter shifted again, pressing himself against his Alpha’s chest and swallowing Tony’s cock in one go. Tony cursed. Fuck. His balls slapped against Peter’s ass, a loud sound that only fueled the fire burning in his body, and before he could even think about it, Tony’s hips started to move. 

 He gripped one of Peter’s legs for leverage, spreading his Omega open and pushing in again and again. There was no gentleness anymore, no slow thrusts, instead Tony drove himself in, chasing his pleasure. Peter felt too good to take it slow and the heat-scent was making Tony insane. He wasn’t in a full-blown rut, but Peter’s scent made him almost as feral.

 “Alpha?” Peter sounded drowsy, still tired but awake. 

 Tony knew he should stop, that he should apologize and give the Omega room to breathe, but he couldn’t even pull back an inch. Instead, Tony growled in his Omega’s ear.

 “Such a hungry little bitch, aren’t you? Whimpering in your sleep until I couldn’t take it anymore, until I had to bury myself deep inside of your hungry little hole. Did you want that, baby? Did you want your Alpha to lose his mind?”

 If Peter had earnestly said he didn’t want this, Tony would have pulled back, but instead of protesting, Peter pressed only closer. He chased the friction, pressing back weakly because his body was still dizzy from sleep. Tony couldn’t even feel bad anymore when the perfect creature in his arms responded so beautifully. 

 “I’ve dreamed about you,” Peter confessed, his voice trembling in arousal. “I’ve dreamed about you fucking me, Alpha. We were on a big clearing in the woods and you have opened me up with your cock, pumped me full and plugged me up with your knot.”

 Tony didn’t need the words. He was already feral enough, balancing on the line between sanity and mind-breaking hunger, and Peter’s confession only made it worse. His husband was a tease and Tony was afraid he would lose himself in the burning pleasure one day. 

 “That’s what you want, baby?” Tony didn’t recognize his own voice anymore. “Want me to keep you in my bed all day? Stuffed and filled to the brim?”

“Please, Alpha.” Peter was so beautiful in his pleasure, even though he had just woken up, even though Tony shouldn’t be fucking him right now. 

 Tony felt the overwhelming urge to go even deeper until Peter could feel him in his throat. He ground his hips against the tight little ass, burying a hand in the soft curls and pulling until Peter’s head rested on his shoulder. The Omega’s back was curved beautifully and if Tony didn’t know better he would have thought Peter was a fantasy just made for him. 

 “Can you touch me, Alpha?” Peter slurred, his voice already breaking from the effects of his heat? 

 Tony had planned to watch Peter come from the Alpha’s knot alone again, but how could he refuse his husband anything? Peter was such a sweetheart, taking everything Tony gave him, so he should show his gratitude and give the boy what he wanted. But Tony wanted to see Peter struggle. 

 “Work for it, baby,” Tony ordered, wrapping his hand tightly about Peter’s leaking cock without moving an inch. His hips thrust two more times before they halted as well. “Move. Push yourself forward, sweet thing. Take what you needed.”

 Peter whimpered, pathetically, needily, but Tony didn’t give in. He wanted to see how badly Peter craved this. Slowly, the Omega started to move, pressing back and taking Tony’s thick cock before his hips snapped forward into the tight grip of Tony’s hand again. The rhythm was slow at first, carefully, but after a while Peter got desperate and his movements sped up. 

 Tony was fascinated. Peter was gorgeous in his pleasure, open and trusting. A sudden surge of affection hit Tony and he pressed his lips against the mating mark on Peter’s neck. The Omega was kind, clever and beautiful, everything Tony could wish for in a mate. Tony didn’t want to go back to work, he didn’t want to leave Peter, even if it was just for a few hours. He wanted to keep the boy at his side forever. 

 “I’m the luckiest Alpha in the entire world. I would give everything for you, my boy. Everything.” 

 Peter's response was a moan, filthy and desperate, but Tony could see how the Omega trembled from his words. He really hoped it would work between them. He was so close to falling in love.

 “Please, Alpha. Can you move? Please.”

 Tony wanted to give in, he really wanted, but seeing Peter like this was too incredible to help him now. Peter’s entire body was glistening, slick and sweat mixing together while the boy moaned on Tony’s cock like the perfect little whore. 

 “Just a little longer,” Tony cooed, focused on Peter’s arousal. “I’ll help you soon enough, baby. Just be a little patient for me.”

 Tony watched Peter for five more minutes, five minutes that were filled with desperate pleads, needy moans and frantic movements. Eventually, Tony had mercy. He grabbed Peter’s thigh again, pulling him closer and driving into Peter at a maddening pace.

 Peter was gone. Tony could feel it in the way the boy’s moans turned into cries and the slick walls fluttered around him. There was nothing the Omega needed more than Tony’s knot, and as much as Tony wanted to drag it out for longer, Peter had reached his limit. 

 So Tony closed his eyes and let go. He chased his own pleasure, every thrust bringing him closer to the edge. Pleasure built inside him and the base of his cock grew, trying to plug up the Omega with his knot. The friction against his cock was almost too good, forcing Tony to sink his teeth in the Omega’s neck, right above the mating mark, to endure the pleasure. 

 “Knot me, Alpha.”

 It was because of Peter’s whispered words that Tony came. His knot caught properly while he pumped load after load into Peter’s body, marking his Omega and pulling him over the edge as well. 

 Slick walls contracted around him, squeezing and milking him until Tony was dry, until Tony didn’t have a single drop left to give. He basked in the endorphins, savoring the closeness to the Omega in his arms. 

 After a while, Tony came back to himself, and so came the guilt too. 

 “I’m sorry, Peter,” Tony whispered ashamed, still locked inside his beautiful husband. “I didn’t want to take you without your consent.”

 But Peter, incredible, perfect Peter, only smiled at him and pressed closer against Tony’s chest. 

 “It was amazing, Alpha. Ten out of ten. Wanna do it again.”

 Tony felt still guilty, but he smiled a little when he closed his eyes to enjoy the afterglow with his husband. He couldn’t regret it if it made his husband happy.

[haro-whumps]

Box Boy Bedtime

(CW: slavery, dehumanization, videotaping, implied noncon, creepy + intimate whumper, creepy comfort, brainwashing)

Tag list:  @thatsthewhump @whump-it @ashintheairlikesnow @fairybean101 @finder-of-rings @comfortforthepain @shameless-whumper @that-one-thespian @burtlederp @castielamigos-whump-side-blog

Part 1

*click* *click*

“Position six,” Ren ordered blithely, and Soren stretched his hands out in front of him, close together so Ren could tie or handcuff if they wanted. They lifted their fancy camera again and took two more pictures, one frontal view, one profile.

*click* *click*

“Position seven.” Soren stood straight and crossed his arms behind his back. Ren was photographing each position to spruce up the guidebook. Sure, the infographics were useful, but why would they want to look at pictures of stick figures when they could have their sweet Soren acting them all out? 

On and on the camera clicked. Soren, for the most part, seemed calm. Like when he would make beadcraft keychains and get really into it, practiced and second-nature and thoughtless.

“Position seventeen,” Ren ordered, and blinked with surprise when Soren walked away from them, to a nearby wall where he placed his palms and forehead against it with his legs spread and ass out. Ren laughed, but took the picture, and then rounded to the side. Pretty Soren glanced up at them, and when they smiled at him he smiled back, bashful and pleased. Ren really hoped that they caught that on camera. 

At the end of it all, Ren clicked through the photos on the tiny display screen, making sure that they didn’t need to retake any, and gave Soren a quick kiss on the cheek when they were satisfied.

“We’ll need to do this again when your hair’s all grown out,” they mentioned off-handedly, “But I think these will make great placeholders for the booklet until then, yeah?”

“Mhm,” Soren hummed with a nod, leaning in close to them and glancing at the camera display, seeing himself keeling pretty.

Ren lifted the camera again and adjusted the focus, close range now. 

“Exalted?” Soren asked, confused, and Ren pulled their eye away from the lens a quick moment.

“Just for fun, because you’re pretty,” they said brightly, and brought the camera back up just in time to see Soren blush and duck his head, a lock of hair falling over his bashful smile.

*click*

“Such a pretty little angel,” Ren murmured, smiling fondly down at the photograph. “I’m going to go print these out, m’kay? I bet you’re tired.”

Soren glanced up hopefully. “It, has been a long day, for me, Exalted.”

“Oh, I bet it has,” Ren cooed, reaching out to brush that stray lock of hair behind his ear. “Go ahead and take a bath, sweet honey babe. I got you some nice products that’ll help your pretty hair grow out faster, and soap that’s good for delicate skin. And you’re so fragile, aren’t you my little bird?”

“Yes, Exalted,” Soren sighed happily, leaning into their palm. “Thank you.”

They kissed him again, then gave him a nice sharp pat on the cheek. “Go on, then. I’ll check in when I’m done printing these out, and then we’ll get you nice and comfy in your bed.”

He smiled at them so gratefully, warm and soft with a genuine affection, and that delighted want-have-want-have fluttered inside Ren’s chest again. They had to put in genuine effort to leave the room, leave their precious Soren even for a moment, but they really did want to bedazzle the handbook with photos of their precious angel, so it had to be done.

Besides, they thought with a private chuckle, it wasn’t like they’d really left Soren. They jiggled their computer mouse and tapped twice on their tablet, pulling up the video feeds while the computer woke up. They’d tested all the cameras well before Soren had arrived, waving to themself and watching their own waving on the tablet screen. They could access the video feeds on their tablet, computer, phone, and work computer, so even if something broke or ran out of power they would always have plenty of alternatives. They hooked up the fancy camera and started the download, examining their pet.

Soren was naked, and while that wasn’t anything particularly special, knowing that they were seeing him naked while he didn’t know that sent a thrill up their spine. He was examining the adjacent bathroom, also redecorated before his arrival, seeming to have trouble taking it in. The tub was massive, with water jets in the side and all sorts of soaps and bubbles lining the inner rim, easily large enough to lie down completely submerged within. Nothing but the prettiest of bird baths for their little angel. The shower curtain looked like an honest tapestry, and the mat was cloud-like in shape, texture, and appearance. 

He applied the hair products liberally, thank goodness, they would hate to have to correct their precious Soren so early in, and seemed to enjoy the soak, afterwards. It even looked like he started dozing, a little, which made Ren giggle delightedly when they realized. Oh he must be very tired. They idly pasted the photographs into the booklet while he bathed, and when he pulled the plug of the tub they got up and headed back over.

They’d timed it just a tiny bit too early, winding up in Soren’s room before he emerged, pink from the heat and in a towel, but they smiled and acted like they just arrived.

“Oh, you’re out? Perfect, Soren. Come here,” they said, hands outstretched, and he rushed to them, rushed to the safety and warmth and comfort they offered so freely. “Let’s get you dressed and to bed. It’s been a long first day, huh baby?”

“Yes, Exalted,” he murmured into their shirt, fingers pressing ever so gently into their back where he clung to them. 

“Here, I put your pajamas in this drawer,” they said, showing him, pulling it open by the gold-painted handle and taking out a soft and fluttering nightgown. Soren, once again, ran his hands over the fabric eagerly, stunned by how soft it was, and put it on before tugging at the bottom of it with a sudden spike in anxiety.

“Um, Exalted?”

“Yes sweetheart?”

“Do I, get to wear, maybe underwear, or pants, with this?”

Ren laughed, squishing his freckled cheeks. “Of course not you silly goose!”

“Y-yes, Exalted,” he muttered though his smushed face, making it come out more “yef evahded.”

“Alright, into bed with you, angel,” Ren ordered cheerfully, stroking their hands up over his face, then down his pretty hair, shoulders, arms, and finally taking him by the wrist, guiding him to the golden canopy. They pulled at the cloth, opening it a little wider, and Soren climbed in, fumbling a little when the mattress and thick comforter dipped more than he had expected them to. Ren laughed at him, giving a playful swat to his rump as he crawled past.

“Now, gimme goodnight kiss,” Ren said sweetly, crawling in after him, on top of him, caging him in with their limbs. They dropped their weight onto him again, their hips forcing his legs open and apart, and he began to tremble ever so sweetly as they kissed him. They took their time with it, deep and heavy, hands sliding beneath his light body wrapped only in the thin nightgown, feeling the planes of his shoulder blades and the divot at the small of his back. Soren wrapped his arms around them too, one hand in their hair and the other clinging around their neck, and he pressed up against them, into their touch. Needy, needy, needing them, needing them so badly. 

It was with great satisfaction that they pulled away, feeling his body follow, feeling the way he held on just a second too long before realizing he had to let go, seeing him staring up at them with wide-blown pupils and parted lips, wet with spit. It was with great satisfaction that they had riled him up all sweet and supple and wanting, and would now be leaving him without granting him any satisfaction whatsoever.

“Under the covers, precious boy.” Ren giggled, “You’re very good at goodnight kisses, now go to sleep.”

“Y-yes, um, Ren,” he said, and Ren felt another thrill shoot up their spine. That was the first time he’d used their name since coming out of that box, and it felt important that it was happening then. That it was happening now.

Once he was settled in amongst the pillows, thick comforter pulled up to his chin, they gave him one final caress along the side of his pretty face, golden hair damp beneath their fingers, and stood, pulling the canopy closed behind them. They went to the balcony doors, then the windows, pulling the billowing curtains shut one by one, and then turned off the bedside lamp. “Sleep tight, my darling,” they crooned, turning off the overhead lights before shutting the door. They pulled at the chain of their necklace, producing the key, and locked Soren’s door behind them. He would never leave that room without them.

They watched on their phone to see if he would touch himself, with the door locked and no one around. They wanted to know if he would take care of the little problem they’d given him, if he would shudder out a gasp and moan their name, if he’d be silent, or if he’d refuse his own touch at all, squirming to get comfortable until it went away. 

He actually ended up falling asleep mere moments after they pulled up the video feed, body slumped and boneless, laying half on his side. They blinked, but, well. He really had been tired, then. 

Poor thing, so exhausted, he really must have had a hard time, then, before coming here. Before being Ren’s, like he was rightfully meant to be.

Why hadn’t he come begging? When things got hard, surely he had to have known they’d take him back… Maybe they hadn’t impressed that on him enough. They’d been foolish and ham-fisted, then, maybe they hadn’t told him frequently enough that they loved him, that they’d always be happy to do anything for him, that they never minded one single request he ever made. Or maybe he truly had gotten a real stick up his prideful ass, so upset over a little temper flare he’d rather risk everything than come back where he belonged--

They grabbed their wrist, forcing their fingers to relax before they cracked the phone screen. They counted their own pulse, feeling their heartbeat press up against their thumb. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if some fuck had screwed Soren over and left him desperate for any option or if he’d just had a long stroke of bad luck. It didn’t matter if he was too proud to come begging for forgiveness for rejecting them, or if he’d thought they wouldn’t forgive him, even if he begged. It didn’t matter how he’d become desperate (even though the thought of someone purposefully scamming their sweet, precious Soren set their pulse skyrocketing), it didn’t matter why he’d signed himself over to Whumpees-R-Us, it didn’t matter what had happened between that godawful haircut and Ren finding him on the internet listings. 

All that mattered now was that they had him. He was there, and he was theirs. He’d messed up, but they’d managed to fix it, the stars had aligned and even though he’d done a domino line of stupid things they’d still managed to get him safe and warm and home and eating out of their palm, finally, finally!

They turned off their phone and turned on the final recording device, a baby monitor disguised as a little figurine angel on the bedside table in Soren’s room. They didn’t expect anything to happen overnight, Soren clearly needed his rest, but it would be a good habit to establish.

How fortunate, then, because something did happen that night. They woke to sounds of distress filtering in through the monitor, and for a moment couldn’t place the noises, before sitting bolt upright. Soren.

They were at his door and fumbling with the key in an instant, then rushed to the bed, throwing back the canopy.

“Soren?”

Soren gasped, eyes flinging open and jerking upright, eyes blindly searching his surroundings in a panic.

“Ren?” Soren cried, head snapping to them. He reached out, hand shaking, and Ren took it, sliding onto the bed with him. “R-Ren, I, I, y-you’re--”

“I’m here, baby, I’m here,” Ren murmured, realizing now that it was just a nightmare. He’d only had a nightmare. “Shhhh, angel, it was just a bad dream.”

Soren made aborted little half-words, eyes searching their face, and then he nodded, sobbing, chin wobbling in the way that meant he was trying not too.

“Come here, come here,” Ren crooned, pulling him into a crushing hug, feeling his rabbit pulse beneath their fingers. “It’s okay, my delicate little crybaby, I know you need to let it out,” they murmured, mouth to his ear, “Precious little crybaby, sweet little crybaby, it’s okay. I’ve got you, you’re safe, you’re in my arms, sweet little crybaby boy.”

He cried into them, clinging to them, never once trying to stifle himself or push away after they’d told him it was alright, and they relished it. What a glorious thing to wake up to. Soren was scared and shaking and desperate and needing them. He wanted them so badly, cried out for them in terrified half-sleep, and wept into their shirt. When he seemed to start calming down, a ping of sour mood hit Ren and they kissed Soren’s hair.

“What was your nightmare about, sweet angel?” Ren asked, syrupy and smooth, and was silently delighted when his shivering picked back up. 

“Y-you, didn’t want me, you p-put me back in the box, and,” Soren hiccupped out, and Ren had to press their face into his hair, hide their reaction from his eyes. How perfect! “And you sent me back, and everything was confusing, a-and terrible, and I didn’t know what I did wrong to,” Soren sobbed, high and cracking, and Ren stroked gently down his beautiful hair, “m-make you not want me anymore!” Soren’s breath jerked, chest spasming with it, and Ren pulled back, eyes soft and concerned and betraying none of their inner delight.

They took his hand and lifted it to his collar, pushing his fingers around the gold.

“Soren,” they crooned, “whose are you?”

Soren blinked, sniffed loudly, and gripped his collar tightly, other hand coming up and joining the first.

“Yours.”

“Who do you belong to?” they asked, just as gently.

“You, Exalted,” Soren said, body slowly unwinding, trembling dissipating, knuckles white from his grip.

“You will never,” Ren pet the hair back from one side of his face, “ever,” they pet the other side, “belong to anyone but me. You’re mine, Soren, forever, forever and ever. No one else will ever touch you, no one else will ever get you, you’re never leaving this house unless it’s on my leash.”

Soren hiccupped as he smiled up at them, pressing into their palms, cheeks tearstained and ruddy.

“Never, Soren,” Ren soothed, “You’ll never leave me.”

Next

[snow-whiteandred-rose]

How You Met- Namjoon

A/N: Hey Ho Sunshines. Here is another ,,How you Met,, with  the lovely Namjoon. And remember, you can always send us messages and requests. - Eve word count: 1,4K Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Monday, the 24th of September 2018. Who would have thought that this day would change your life. Well, definitely not you. Because it was a Monday. Good things never happen on a Monday. The day before your flight from Seoul landed on New York. Tired of the long travel you made your way without any detours to the taxi stand and straight to your assigned hotel. Your hotel was in downtown New York, just a few blocks away from the UNO Building. ,,Welcome at the Millennium.,, the receptionist greeted you friendly." "Good afternoon." You tried to smile as best as you could ,,My company booked a room for me for the next two days." You said as you handed over your passport. "Just a moment Miss Y/L/N. I will arrange everything." After a few minutes the check in was completed your luggage was brought up to your room. To your surprise you had a fantastic view over the city. But you just enjoyed it shortly, because shower was calling for you. The sunlight shined bright through the windows and you woke up to the sound of the busy New York streets. ,,Rise and shine." you said to yourself as you got up. Today was the day of the 73th United Nations General Assembly. You worked for the chamber of commerce in Korea. And therefore you were assigned to keep record of the gathering. Slowly you shuffled into the bathroom. You brushed your teeth and for the first time this morning you looked in the mirror. ,,What the heck is that? Oh no. Why?" you shrieked. A big red pimple appeared on your left cheek, perfectly placed for everyone to see. ,,Great. Time for the emergency kit." Carefully you applied a soothing lotion and concealer. "Well. It’s alright. I hope. Could be better. No one will look at me anyway." Your way to the UN building was rather unspectacular. Because it was only a few blocks away you took the opportunity to walk through the crowded Monday morning streets. As you arrived at the big plaza in front of the skyscraper you spotted a dozen journalist and photographers lurking at the entrance. Sceptical you passed them and asked yourself why they were here. Of course it was the annual assembly. But nothing more. Normally these kind of events didn't attract that much press presence. Considering this was New York City.

"Ah Y/N!" a male voice called for you as you exited the elevator. "Good to see you. Are you ready? Did you had a chance to look around? It's your first time at the UN, right? Have you heard the news?" all of this was spoken in supersonic speed as your colleague Ross guided you to a kind of atrium. Because you didn't know what question you should answer first, you sticked to the last one. "What news?" "You haven't heard?" "No." you chuckled at his surprised face. "Well, my dear Y/N. If you believe it or not.  Today the world famous BTS will hold a speech. Isn't that great?" he took your hands and shook them excitedly while jumping up and down. "Why do you know BTS?" you also started to jump in synchronicity. "My niece infected me. Don’t ask. That's such an unique opportunity." You liked Ross. He was such a warm hearted guy. And a great distraction from the stressful work life. "I have to go now Y/N. I need to check up on a few things. You can wait here. I will pick you up before it starts alrighty?" he winked and disappeared in the crowd. "Alrighty" you mumbled and smiled. As you looked around you saw a few standing tables. There was one unoccupied one at the large window. Quickly you made your way and placed you laptop and notebook on the surface. Luckily the table was equipped with a socket so that you could recharge your laptop battery. You still had 40 minutes until the conference would start. Deepened in your work you didn't notice that a male figure approached your table. "Excuse me, Miss. Is this space still free?" Ripped out of your thoughts you spun your head to the direction of the voice. In front of you was a tall young man, wearing a black suit and tie. He had light brown hair styled to one side. In his hands he held a tablet and piece of paper. You must admit, that he was quite good looking. There was something special about him. He also had a slight resemblance with a person you thought you knew. But you could recall. "Of course. I will make room for you." you smiled and moved your stuff closer to you. "Thank you very much." he said very politely and flashed a wonderful dimpled smile. As you arranged his things you noticed this charging cable hanging from his tablet. "Oh do you want to recharge it maybe?" you said as you pointed at the device. "Mine is nearly full. You can plug it in if you like." Another dimpled smile showed up on his face "That be great. Thank you." "No need to thank me." you chuckled as you switched the cables. "Will you also take part in the conference?" he asked. "I will just sit in the audience. No big appearance or something like that. I'm just assigned to take a few notes." you answered him. "Allow me to be so direct. But you seem to be quite young. And I think that's astonishing and something to be proud of." You loved the way he expressed himself. His word choice was extraordinary. "You seem to be young as well. So I kindly give that compliment back." you shyly looked at him but turned away quickly as you notice that you face turned red. "I'm Namjoon." He stretched out his hand. Something ringed in your ear hearing his name. But you couldn't connect the dots. "Nice to meet you. I'm Y/N." The two of you shook each others hands a bit too long considering you were still strangers. But none of you wanted to let go. Namjoon took a glance at your notes and asked "Are these yours? That's written in Korean." You let go of his hand and answered "Yeah, I work in Korea. If I write it directly in Hangul I can save a bit of time you know." "Ah really? Clever." he looked at you with shining eyes. "Thank you." you said as you put a strand of hair behind your ear. A thing you always do when you were nervous. "Oh no! My pimple!" it popped up in your mind and immediately you tried to cover your cheek with hair again. Namjoon smiled to himself watching you struggle and was glad that you also seemed to be nervous. "Namjoon!" a deep voice appeared out of nowhere. Both of you turned around. "Its time to go. The others are waiting." The man turned to you "Miss, if you excuse." He seemed to be some kind of bodyguard. Namjoon quickly packed his stuff and offered his hand for a goodbye. Being a bit sad that your wonderful encounter seemed to be over, you shook his hand for the last time. "It was nice talking to you Y/N. But my friends are waiting. Duty is calling. Please enjoy the conference." he smiled and pointed at the group of six waiting in distance. And before you could respond he was already gone. You took a deep breath to help you calm down. "Huh? What's that? Did he forget something." You noticed a small folded piece of paper. You didn't wanted to look on it, but then you saw your name. Before your mind proceeded it your hands already opened it. "Seems like I forgot something. Again. Glad you found it. Call me that you can give it back ;) Namjoon." You laughed and shook your head in disbelief. "What did just happened?" But there was something else written on the back. "Tell me your story. I want to hear your voice. I want to hear your conviction. No matter who you are, where you are from: Speak Yourself Y/N!" Little did you know that these words would resound in front of hundreds of people in a few minutes.