#just passed their one year anniversary
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my sister and her girlfriend are so fucking cute i’m going to be so upset if they break up
#high school sweethearts they’re both in their freshman year of college#just passed their one year anniversary#built legos together as a pre first date#rn my sister is working and her girlfriend just posted a bereal sitting at her work (a coffee shop) just hanging out#they spend every weekend together#and are doing long distance cause they live 45 minutes to an hour away from each other#they go to different schools#i stayed there for a concert and we had a lil party and me and the girlfriend were both drunk and i asked her if they were gonna get married#and she said yes#i was crying#and she said she wants to stay with her forever 😭#and the next night my sister was high and she kept running away and yelling for her girlfriend to come find her#and it was so cute#my god i’ve been around for their whole relationship i’m actually going to be so sad if they break up
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happy anniversary to all the friendships where we truly thought we could make it through together
#moen art#moen sona#the slow acceptance that oh. im going to spend the majority of my life by myself is making me feel things okay#friends that ended up in fights into no contact into drifting no matter how much we went through together i still love you#learning to try to be okay with like. an empty apartment in the future and. mm#i think the anniversary for the ones where they raised me passed recently this month aha we kinda forgot to wish eachother this year and th#last#yk these drawings all started cause i just wanted to hug emmet its insane HAHA#DOMT GET ME WRONG IM OUT OF SO MANY SHITHOLES NOW#its more of. life is so peaceful now but i wish it wasn't cause it could also be harrowingly silent and empty
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"it goes without saying" not to me it doesn't. spell it out.
#this is about me telling my people I love them btw#sending my mama a mountain of texts (guess which week of my cycle I'm on kids) and one was to pass along thanks from a friend#I nearly said “she said she loves you and it goes without saying but so do I” but NO#we gotta say the things#(this is also adjacent to my writing project but that's another thing entirely)#mine#(if y'all think of it please say a prayer for my family and specifically my parents. this time of year is just rough for us.#just passed two death anniversaries [grandmothers] and coming up on a few birthdays [grandmother and then grandfather on the other side])#(plus they're just overworked and tired and have midterms coming up)#greatest hits
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there is not enough caffeine in the world to address how tired i am 🥴
#it's the 12 year anniversary of my father's death and i just couldn't sleep well :/#not to mention how fucking hot it was last night????#but yeah#the more time passes the more it kinda eats at me#it should be the other way around but my relationship with my dad was complicated and i'm still trying to process it#i used to post on fb about it every year but i can't handle the onslaught of his friends telling me what a great guy he was#and how well they all knew him and i never had that relationship with him#it's selfish but it hurts knowing i was like a stranger to him#i have so few photos with him and so few memories#most of them were on facebook which his ex wife didn't hesitate to delete the moment he died#also i hate thinking this way but he had a huge estate when he died like $500k or something like that with heaps of community donations#and from that i got... $1400...#it's pointless but sometimes i wonder if life wouldn't have been so hard if i had gotten some of that money :/#anyway despite all this i do love him and miss him#i can still remember the way his voice sounded when he would call out my name after not seeing me for a while#and he was the only one who would listen to me talk at length about steampunk and anime#when i did get to see him he would always try to share quirky things from his childhood with me#i miss him so much#i always thought i'd have a chance to connect with him when i was older but he died so suddenly the chance never came#the same with my brother#i wish i could talk to them one last time and tell them i love them
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🌻
#being older now than loved ones were when they died is so. mm.#i’m going to be 30 next year and one of my close friends (who was older than me) never got to be older than 25#his birthday passed recently and the anniversary of his death is next month so it’s just. blah.#not 2 b heavy on main ig just. feeling it today.#grief tw#death tw#i guess.#personal ramblings
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Still thinking about this webcomic I enjoyed that went on indefinite hiatus on what appeared to be its second- or third-to-last page. It hasn't been updated in nearly three years now, but the site hasn't gone down, either. You were so close to doing what so many webcomics fail to do... what happened???
#As far as I know the author isn't dead or anything like that#webcomics#my posts#i'll be honest#i have subsequently forgotten most of the plot#this isn't the longest hiatus i've maintained weekly check-ins thru#one of 'em just passed its 7 year anniversary!#but certainly it's the most surprising
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Considering getting into alchemy stars cause of you!
DUDEEEEE it's such SUCH a good game. Unfortunately it's got gacha elements but I've found that the rates to get characters aren't terrible, plus there's always reruns of exclusive characters and alts of them too :) honestly really good stuff — at least once a year or so I go through a several months-long period of playing everyday LOL
#not art#ask/answer#and it's third anniversary just passed!!! can't believe it's been three years already I joined around#like months before the first one hah. it's crazy
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To my readers!
Hey everyone!!
As some of you may know, I've been struggling a lot with writing for a long time now, because of my personal life.
However, as my personal life is slowly getting better, I've been able to write consistantly for several weeks now, including some pieces of fanfiction!! I am thus hoping to come back to posting regularly in the coming weeks!!!
I am currently writing a few one-shots and other cute stuff so I can plan my return! Expect a posting schedule to be announced in the coming week...
Some changes in my masterlist will also occur in the coming days/weeks. Do not be alarmed. I won't be deleting anything, simply reorganizing things. Do not panic, everything is under control...
I hope that some of you will still be interested in my silly and cute stories! I've always wanted to keep on posting my fanfictions, but sometimes life gets in the way. Hopefully, this is the right time for me to make a glorious come back!
However, I must admit that I have not been the most active tumblr gremlin as of late. I haven't really been active in the community in a while, but I would love to meet new people and discover the works of content creators who share my hyperfixations.
So, if you have any recs on a blog you think I might enjoy, linked to a fandom I like, feel free to share a rec! I'll check the blogs you recommend me!
I hope all of you have a wonderful day, and that you will enjoy the new stories I have to tell!
#padfootagain#just me making an update#The one year anniversary without meds really boosted my confidence#And I got back to writing almost instantly after I passed that date#Think I just needed to be sure I'm okay again#Anyway#A Sirius Black x reader fic is already finished#An adorable Ben Barnes x reader fic is on the way#have to write some Caspian as well#Will be sharing a proper posting schedule before the end of next week which means before March 10 2023#Hopefully some people are still around and still interested in what i might write#know it's been so long#but i'll do my best as always :)
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said a prayer for Jjong today.
#shinee#jonghyun#idk i don't usually yk. do things like that for people that have passed but it's been six years and it felt fitting somehow#six years ago i was what. 12 about to turn 13???? had already been to a fair bit of funerals but the only ones that had hit me before#this one were the pianist at our church who passed away suddenly from a heart attack and the regional club leader who had cancer#for like three years and passed just as the doctors thought she would go into remission#and those both happened around October/November so. going into the winter season has always been hard for me and Jjong#was no different.#it's gotten better slowly but it still hurts sometimes. some days i wake up and i can't even look at any of his pictures other days#i get up and put his albums on loop and laugh and reblog so many of his antics#it's funny bc when my aunt passed on New Year's in 2019 it was exactly two weeks after the 1st anniversary date rolled around. always has#been but i never noticed until we lost her and we had to go down for the funeral and i basically disappeared off the internet for a good#two to four months sans queue and checking in on Discord and sh*t and that year he managed to keep me sane. sounds f*cked up#but that year it was just me and Spotify and my playlists and Jjong's voice amid it all. i wish i could meet him and tell him in person#that he practically saved my life even tho the fandom was still raw af from losing him but the prayer will have to be enough#you did well Jjong. you worked so hard. you are our pride. love you to the moon and back 🌒🌙 <333
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I was interested in knowing a bit about how you got into ateez if you don't mind sharing?
OMG I LOVE TELLING THIS STORY HAHAHA
okay. so i was on pinterest one day during the time where my ults were bts and i like dabbled in other groups but bangtan were my mains. so i was on pinterest just looking at whatever and I SEE THIS PICTURE (IF I CAN FIND IT ILL DEF POST IT) BUT THIS PICTURE IS JUST YUNHO AND HONG STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER. and hongjoong looked so small next to yunho and i was like “omg who are they they’re height difference is crazy” so i look them up and i find out who they are and i move on
and ever since i saw that picture ateez would just pop up on spotify. i think it was wonderland and hala hala that popped up and i was like “oh shit this is actually really good” and idk why it didn’t register for like a day, but i didn’t realize that the group that sang wonderland was the same group i looked up days before. and so i started listen to their other music and yeah. that’s how i got into ateez😭😭
THE PICTURE
#i think it’s so funny#i just passed 3 year anniversary stanning them 🥹🥹#also mingi has always been my bias.#mingi girl since day one
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... man i just remembered how last night i had a dream by the end of it there was a cat, and in it i said "oh she looks exactly like tigra!! are you also an attention seeking dumbass like her?" and it was so i may have actually dreamt about her
#my posts#my dreams#sorta i dont care about the rest of that one dream#..... i miss her she was the best creature ive ever met#like yeah i may be allergic to cats. yeah she did basically want to be constantly near or on top of me like a baby#which ended up with me struggling with allergy a lot. but she WAS my baby#... itd be her bday next month. and last month was the anniversary of her death. so im not really surprised#this happened once before and it was even sadder so its not the worst case scenario sdighds#but i miss her that little dumbass made it less than 3 months to be a 21 y-o cat#..... that. means shes been gone for 4 years now huh#man.#theres a cat nearby on a house that i pass when i take the bus for class and depending on the day when i come back home#her name is michy and shes a calico like she was but her face is more of the flat type and her eyes are dif color#but shes also an atention seeking dumbass and she is very sweet and always meows at me when i see her#she is making me both want a cat a lot again and also letting me live vicariously through someone elses pet siuhsug#...... idk what im doing im just rambling im trying to be a bit less sad i guess sghsiguhsg#im gonna watch some stupid videos and then im gonna return here to be bisexual over middle aged men maybe#i just had to get it out of me bc yeah i miss her a lot
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thinking about Cassini, my dad, and grief tonight. probably gonna listen to Sleeping At Last then go to bed.
#the last conversation I had with my dad before he died was about Cassini's Grand Finale#Sleeping At Last released an album commemorating major galactic events that we witnessed this century#and there's a song for the solar eclipse that was the last one my dad witnessed#and there's a song for Cassini which leads directly into Saturn#which has always been a song that hit my sister rly hard bc my dad had a page-a-day astronomy calendar#and the day my dad died had a fact about Saturn#that a season on Saturn is 7 earth-years long#I think I'm gonna get A Farewell To Saturn as a tattoo#my sister was gonna get a Saturn tattoo on the 7th anniversary of dad passing and I might just copy her a bit
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#not fallout#kal talks#ok to preface this is a POSI VENT#it just might get a little heavy#i tend to be a Little Personal on here and im going to be a lil more personal. im thinky thoughts#but man... its been a year since literally the lowest point in my life#like last march. i will say. was... really bad for me mentally. i wont go much deeper than that but maybe some of you remember.#im much much better now but i will say i was a little wary as this month and anniversary approached because i was afraid basically#(the actual anniversary passed last week and i didnt notice)#but ive managed to do soo much growing and healing from where i was last year like it is honestly astonishing#im definitely not the same person i was when i couldn't even honestly confront myself#in a way i think what happened last year was one of the best things to happen to me#it doesn't mean that nothing bad will ever happen in the future but it does mean that i survived that and i can survive whatever else#happens too#healing isnt linear i know that. like obviously im going to have setbacks and some days im incredibly whiny and bitchy#like October/November were suuuper hard on me mentally#but again - still here!#still alive and still putting laundry away and taking baths and reading books and doing art#And its almost SUMMER again!#and god i want to live this summer.#and its kind of funny how...when you think you want to die just saying thr words 'i want to live' feels like...idk. it feels like something#but i want to live#and i want to go hike at zion and i want to eat watermelon and i want to sit in the sun and paint red rocks#i wanted to die last year and it felt so real i could have but im still here and i want to live and do things while im here#that's all i guess#life's hard. its a bitch and then you die. but there are some pretty good parts to it too and every summer i remember why
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(Because I'm still really happy about this discussion and I need to rewatch Fiddler on the Roof while cross-checking the full Yiddish script---)
For reference, there's Yiddish version of "Do You Love Me?" at that link (if slightly off sync), the English version of same song is here, and the full Yiddish script can be found here! (If the links die down the road, please check the script!)
The fundamental difference between Fiddler on the Roof and Fidler Afn Dakh:
English Tevye: Tradition!
Yiddish Tevye: Got iz a foter un heylik iz zayn toyre!
#koushirouizumi fiddler on the roof#koushirouizumi chatter#koushirouizumi commentary#fiddler on the roof#fidler afn dakh#fiddler on the roof: yiddish#fiddler on the roof: meta#fiddler on the roof: commentary#tevye x golde#tevye the milkman#the shema#golde#otp: everything with him night and day if thats not love tell me#(I also love how that line comes across different in Yiddish version)#(it changes context about their 'bed' to the entire relationship as a WHOLE)#(idek if its just because my Jewish parent is my father while my Grandma knew+spoke Yiddish + wrote about knowing it in)#(Grandmas memory book written pre Grandmas passing {including speaking Yiddish with her family that was still alive at the time} but)#(this is hitting me SO MUCH HARDER after last year and the constant almost neverending wave of rising antisemitism)#i will outlive them#as long as possible#(like I listen to this song & think of my own Grandma and Grandpas relationship+what i remember of them now it just hits Really Damn Hard)#i hope this is ok to share again i just really need Jewish things on my blog rightnow#i was trying my best to be respectful in discussion {+before} so i hope im not stepping on any toes#but it felt like i got a good grade in Explaining {how} Jewishness {can feel like} &that still makes me really happy as a Patrilineal Jew#idekidek i just want to be an Autistic Jew at age 80~90+ still blogging about all my Special Interests {+Jewishness itself} until day i die#if my grandma could make it that long i can make it too#even these tags i wrote on august 1st while it was the anniversary for one of my major fandoms i loved ever since i was a child#({and even if ive had a lot of major issues with said fandoms overall environment post 2015 or so especially-})#being raised in a loving environment + non normative family + along with Jewish Grandma herself pitching in a lot
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i'm gonna go see the Christmas lights at the city park w my aunt n my dad today i hope that heals some of this deep fucking sadness that wont go tf away 👍🏽
#txt#i had sm planned for yesterday and today and i just couldnt do any of it#and like. okay fine i could have tried to do somethings but i literally just did not feel like trying#obviously i didnt wake up yesterday planning on digging a grave for my dads cat that also happened to be the cat that was my main company#during some of the worst moments of my life like a decade ago. and especially not right now like tomorrows my grandmas thats passed bday#and late last month was the anniversary of not one but TWO deaths of loved ones#and now this like i just feel so overwhelmed w grief everywhere i go and its not going away and then theres all this fucking trouble w money#and my appointments and trying to get my life together. im so tired im literally so tired i just want one good day atp#i just need things to be okay again i hate how the end of the year makes me feel#and this used to be my favorite time of the year and now i just dread every second of it because it reminds me of everything thats missing
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all these tiktoks about ppl putting up the ofrendas for their pets rlly have been hitting harder this year than usual
#i think it’s bc it was one of my dogs death anniversary four days ago#i miss her a lot#and i miss my cat and my other dog as well#it makes me sadder that i couldn’t be there when one of them passed away#bc it happened while i was in houston#and i never said goodbye properly#again#i was there when she was born but i wasnt when she left#and it just makes me feel shitty#im so sad#but im glad i can be the one to put up the ofrenda for the 3 of them this year#nessquik
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