#but those moments always pass by so fast and get worked through so easily

[foragings]

true blue by boygenius is literally so everything. like yeah that's love

[junislqve]

THAT FEELING WHEN / ’she looks perfect’

enhypen ｡｡ their “she’s perfect” moments

n : f!r / 1683 𝑤𝘰𝑟𝑑𝑠 . . . 𝓬 — 𝗈𝗇𝗍𝖾𝗇𝗍 ⨾ kissing fluff enha in love est rs ⟢ 𝖼𝖺𝗍𝖺𝗅𝘰𝗀𝗎𝖾

𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝘰𝗀𝗌 ♥︎ 𝖼𝗅𝑖𝖼𝗄

LEE HEESEUNG

one thing heeseung loved to do was watch his pretty girlfriend sit in front of her huge mirror while getting ready. loving the way you’d apply lip gloss on your lips knowing he’d kiss it all away in a minute anyway.

it was always one of those moments when he’d get to admire you as much as he’d like, his eyes chasing after every detail of your face in fear he’d forget about it if he didn’t.

“seung, can you pass me my bag?” you ask, unaware of the way his eyes glazed over, doe-eyed. “‘seung?”

“yeah?” he said, absentmindedly. you turn to him with a pout and only then did he snap out.

“my bag—“

“do you know how perfect you look right now?” your eyes flickered to his, “you look perfect all the time— how do you always look this pretty?”

PARK JONGSEONG

it’s always been hard to waver jay. he was never swayed that easily nor did he get shy a lot. so why was it so hard for him to focus on studying whenever you were around?

he had stacks of books all splayed out in front of him and a test to study for, yet all he could think about was how you looked smiling and laughing with your friends hours ago.

“jay?” hearing that voice, he thinks he’s never looked up that fast in his life, “hi, can i sit here?”

well, now he knows he can never get any studying done, “yeah, sure, of course.”

“have you been studying for long?” you ask, taking a seat right across from him, as if your mere presence wasn’t already a menace to his heart rate yet.

“no, i just started actually” a little white lie wouldn’t hurt. which he was glad for saying, because he spent the next two hours studying (mostly talking) with you. and he thought he’s gotten comfortable with talking to you, but that was until he attempted to crack a joke that gauged no reaction out of you.

“i mean, well, you’re always pretty— smart. smart and pretty” he sputtered, wishing he stayed silent, his dilemma was cut short by the soft chuckle you made. when he picked up the way your dimples showed and the way your eyes creased crescents, he knows he a goner.

SIM JAEYUN

your room was one of the places jake loved to be in. it didn’t matter what he was doing, it just felt better to do it in your room. it was nothing, however, without your presence. maybe it was because of your habit to leave music lulling away through every corner of your room, jake convinces himself.

he loved your room, and he loved you (though you didn’t know it yet) and he was completely fine with it. he was doing his project on your bedroom floor while you were sat on your window sill, typing up an essay.

it’s been hours since you both sat down in silence only letting the music to fill in the atmosphere.

“do you have a ruler i can borrow?” he asked, eyes still trained on his work. when you didn’t answer, his eyes turned to you for a moment, “hey, d—“

jake was reconsidering your friendship the moment he turned to look at you again, double taking at the sight. there was a beautiful sunset right behind you, and yet the only thing he could look at was you.

everything was fading away and you were the reason. all of his desires were begging him to reach out to you and ruin all that he’s built up until now, and while usually he’d create up a logical reason not to, this time, maybe a logical part of him wanted that too.

PARK SUNGHOON

sunghoon has never prioritized a day more than his day-ins. where all he needed to do was lay in bed and rest as long as he wanted. usually, he’d ignore everyone who tried to disturb him during those days. but if it was you, all it took was a call and he’s right outside your apartment.

“why didn’t you call me earlier, baby?” he sighs, fingers carving through your hair lulling you to sleep.

“i didn’t want to bother you” you pout, looking up at him. if you were any more adorable, sunghoon thinks he might not be able to restrain himself from kissing you breathless.

“bother me all you want, i’m yours to bother anyway” he says absentmindedly. unaware of the effect his words has on you, he always knew what to say at all the right times and that never failed to make you warm.

only after half an hour did you finally decide to let the sleep overtake you. sunghoon who was about to ask you if you wanted to eat, looked down to see his girlfriend’s arms around him.

he carefully moved the hair out of your face, brushing the little strands to the side. at first, he found you adorable looking this peaceful, but after a while he found himself not being able to look away. his hand cupping your jaw as his thumb gently rubbed your skin.

his eyes roamed your face possibly about a dozen times, hoping he’d remember every last detail of it to the way your lips pout slightly in your sleep. he found it baffling how you could look so perfect even while sleeping.

planting a small longing kiss on your forehead, sunghoon laid his head on top of yours. not realizing the slight smile on your lips nor the way you snuggled slightly closer to him.

KIM SUNOO

the door to the apartment drew open and sunoo looked exhausted. he needed his girlfriend and thankfully, the moment he was in, you were right there in front of him, sat on the couch.

sunoo walked to where you were, arms going around your body, face on your chest, hoping he could just stay like this forever. he caressed your sides and inhaled your scent until he looked up to you and noticed the familiar pattern of the hoodie you were wearing.

“baby, is this my hoodie?” he asks, heart melting when he saw you dig your face deeper into the hoodie in embarassment. he was about to shoot you a comment until your eyes peeped out of the hoodie and gazed at him.

this whole situation was ridiculous, more ridiculous as he was suddenly unable to think of anything except for the way you stared up at him so adorably. the doe eyes you shot him was enough to make him nervous.

just as fast as you did, you covered your whole face back under the hoodie, leaving sunoo trying to recollect himself, acting as if the fact that you were buried under his clothes and engulfed in his scent didn’t make him drunk on your existence.

YANG JUNGWON

music was blasting loudly. and somehow, jungwon wasn’t actively trying to avoid the place. reason of cause? you. more specifically, the way your hands wrapped around his arm. a simple action enough to drive him nuts. maybe if he was aware of the way he was following you like a lost puppy he’d snap out of it, but for now, he’s stuck to you.

“wonnie, do you want some punch?” you ask, grabbing a clean cup and pouring yourself a glass.

“hm?” he attempted to register the situation and once he did, he carefully took your cup away from you, “are you sure this is safe? we both know you can’t handle your alcohol”

maybe that’s exactly what you need right now though, some alcohol in your system because the way your boyfriend had his sleeves rolled up to his arms and the way his hair sat messily on top of his head was making you insane.

“come on, wonn, just a little” you tilt your head to the side. and that was when jungwon had his little shit moment. the way you looked tonight in the dim lighting and that smile of yours, it was all too overwhelming for him.

all those moments he’s had with you is all catching up to him and his heart feels so full of love for you, he doesn’t know what to do. only then can he gulp, and nod at his girlfriend as he watches her eyes light up, giving him a split second’s kiss that had him grinning from ear to ear while following her from behind.

NISHIMURA RIKI

“riki come on! the sunset’s about to start”

your voice echoing from ahead, riki was struggling to keep up with your pace, his legs running as fast as he could through the road.

“slow down” he huffs, breathing heavily as his feet finally lands on sand and his pace slowing down. despite the need to heave, he continued his slow walk towards you, who had your back towards him.

he stood beside you and he turned to you, just about to scold you for making him run with you, but all his words died on his tongue as he saw the way your eyes reflected the sunset.

he willed himself to look ahead for a split second before his eyes trailed back to you, riki wondered how someone could look so pretty compared to the view right in front of him. he wondered how even though you annoyed him most times, he couldn’t look away from you right now.

he told himself it was because of how you looked dumb gaping at a sunset but even then you looked unreal, riki didn’t understand your fascination with sunsets when you could just look at yourself in the mirror.

but he’ll never tell you that, in fact, he promised himself he’s only going to look at you for that long only for this moment. only because the orange hues reflecting off your skin made you look perfect, only because he knew he couldn’t pay any amount of money to get to see something as pretty as that smile of yours. only this time.

spoiler: that wasn’t the last time.

juni : this took too long bruh

[indulgentdaydream]

protective!jason hcs or blurb 🥰

Ok so I kinda touched on these in my latest fic but anyways i WILL elaborate bc those were just background

We all know that man is touch starved. We ALL know it.

We also all know he’s hesitant with sharing touch

It’s only once you both have been dating for a bit already, maybe three months in, that he really starts to show his protectiveness through his touch

Or at least when you notice it

He’s always at least holding your hand as you guys walk around Gotham. Depending on exactly whereabouts in Gotham is when he changes whether he’s between you and the road, or you and the alleyways.

You watched him change it up one time halfway through your shared walk, him letting go of your left hand, stepping behind you and around to grab your right instead.

“Oh? So you want me to get hit by a car and die?”

Jason only keeps his eyes on the passing buildings and the ones coming up, “The chance of that is much lower than somebody trying to mug you in this area, love.”

One day you’re both out at the bar together. He’s sitting on a stool behind you as you babble to oke of yours friends.

From over their shoulder, you see a man approaching, but don’t think anything of it.

Suddenly, you see the man stop in his tracks, freezing. You glance over at him. He looks terrified. He glances at you, his original target, then behind you again. He spins on his heel and walks back the way he came.

You look behind you, feeling Jason’s hand still resting on your hip. You almost feel a little scared yourself, seeing that killer glare that Jason’s pointing at the guy’s back.

He switches immediately the second he looks down to you, a soft smile and kind eyes, not a hint of the previous bloodlust a mere second ago. “What?” He asks, like watching his expression change wasn’t the biggest turn on in the world.

You’re sitting in your apartment at your desk typing away on your laptop. You’re trying to file your taxes, and Jason had come over to help you with it (surprisingly he knows how even though he’s still legally dead at this point and hasn’t had to pay any taxes. Ever.)

He had stood and was wondering around your room a bit while he waited for you to fill the next part out. You can hear shuffling, but you’re too focused to tune into it.

“Jay? What does this line mean?”

Jason grunts for a moment and you hear your window slide open.

You turn back around, “Jay?”

“One second.” He shuts your window again. You watch as he fiddles with the lock before easily sliding the window back open. He throws his hands in the air and looks at you. “How long have you lived here?”

You shrug, confused, “You helped me move in.”

Jason waves his hand through the air, “When?”

“Almost a year? Last November.”

Jason fiddles with the window again, slamming it back down, “This lock doesn’t work. You been sleeping in here and anyone could’ve just broken in?”

You shrug again, “I didn’t know it was broken! I don’t really lock my window often.”

Jason looks like he almost broke his neck by how fast his head whipped back to you, “You don’t lock your window????”

He finishes your taxes for you before he leaves, saying he’ll be back. Within the hour he’s knocking on your door again, a duffle bag in hand full of power tools, screws, and different assortments of heavy duty locks. He spends the rest of the night installing them.

A new one on your bedroom window that actually consisted of two different locks. A similar two on your kitchen window. Another three on your bedroom door itself. Then four on your front door.

As he leaned over your kitchen sink, screwing in the lock and blocking your way as you tried to make you both dinner.

“Is this really necessary?”

“I’m not having you practically open to every bad thing the city has to offer, love.”

“Then how are you going to come in through my window now?”

“I’ll learn to knock.”

That’s all I can think of right now okay byeee

[hyuckwrlds]

>> caught up

wc: 1.6k you win some you lose some

There are three moments that Jisung will always regret in his life, no matter how hard he tries to forget them. In no particular order, those things are:

Letting Chenle give him a bowl cut before freshman orientation

Sitting with Jaemin during the Calc 122 final (their tests got flagged for cheating)

Meeting you (this might actually be the worst one)

Sure, he knows things could be even worse. In fact, he was really close to peeing himself in his organic chemistry lab once. But even that would be more favorable than his biggest regret—the day he met you.

That day, he’s working a shift at the student store when Chenle suddenly turns to him, gesturing to the tour of prospective students standing outside the glass doors.

“The next group that comes,” he begins, spinning the register keys around a finger. “Over or under fifteen people?”

Jisung snorts; surely the answer is obvious. “Over.”

“You sure?”

“I’ve literally never seen a group with less than fifteen people.”

“Wanna bet on it?”

Jisung snickers, already sensing success. “Bet.”

That was his first mistake.

Because soon enough, the next group arrives and he’s watching, mortified, as Chenle counts a total of fourteen people. Jisung was merely two bodies shy of a victory.

Next thing he knows, he’s trudging out of the storage room in a poorly-ventilated costume of the school’s beloved mascot: Neo, an oversized wolf in a neon green jersey. 

Chenle immediately bursts into a fit of laughter, earning a few stares from the freshmen nearby. Jisung considers smothering him right then and there. His next mistake was not doing that.

“Dude, this thing smells,” he gripes, voice muffled by the large head.

“Yeah,” Chenle agrees, clearly amused. “I don’t think anyone has ever washed that thing.”

Jisung winces at the thought. Then through the perforated plastic eyes, he catches Jaemin barrel into the store, undoubtedly arriving on behalf of Chenle’s erratic texts in their group chat. His face lights up once he sees the giant wolf figure.

“Oh, aren’t you cute?” Jaemin grins, nearly slamming his gym bag into someone’s mom as he makes his way over.

In response, Jisung tries his best to fold his paw into a middle finger.

“Ah—speaking of, I passed by another tour group on the way here,” Jaemin adds. “I think it’s only right that our lovely mascot goes outside to greet them.”

He reaches up to tug at the fake ears and Jisung swats his hands away, scowling behind his mask.

“I’m not doing that,” he groans.

But he stood no chance against the two of them. Chenle and Jaemin easily wrestle Jisung into going outside. They end up (quite literally) having to drag him out the doors and he blames all the time Jaemin spends at the gym.

Now standing at the top of the front steps, he’s held captive by a firm grip around each furry arm. The warmth (and smell) of the suit is starting to get to him so in hindsight, he kind of wants to get it over with as fast as possible. If he can just wave at the group then leave, it'll be fine. It’s not as if anyone will know it’s him anyway.

All of that changes though, once he sees you round the corner.

Fitted in that bright green ‘tour guide’ jacket, Jisung feels his knees buckle as you lead your group towards the store. 

He blanches. “You’ve gotta be kidding—”

There’s a desperate attempt to wiggle away from his friends but it only causes them to hold on tighter, their fingers pressing into the glossy gray fur. Chenle makes it a point to smile widely at him.

“Hey, we can’t have a wolf on the loose when there’s visitors,” he beams.

Jisung’s gonna kill him.

You stop just short of the stairs when you notice their presence, blinking up at Jisung (well, Neo the wolf) in surprise. His heart is pounding in his chest as your eyes flicker between him and his friends.

You’ve shared a few classes with Jisung, and while the two of you have never spoken to each other before, he’s always thought you were pretty (like, really pretty). Meanwhile, he’s not even sure you know his name.

Or that he exists at all.

Beside him, Jaemin coughs out a low, “Wave.”

Hesitantly, Jisung raises his stupidly oversized paw in the air. He can hear you start to tell the story behind the school’s prized mascot but even worse, he can feel Chenle’s hand on his back, pushing him to move closer. Tentatively, Jisung takes a small step forward.

And like the idiot he is, he trips.

With his giant wolf feet, he somehow misses the first step and is sent tumbling to the ground, landing on his stomach as he slides down the concrete stairs. 

This earns a chorus of gasps from you and your group which is soon followed by a stunned silence. He lays still on the ground, frozen under everyone’s stares. Yet that isn’t the most horrifying part.

The worst part was that in the midst of falling, the obscenely large wolf head had come off too.

With his face now smushed into the concrete, Jisung feels the embarrassment coil in the pit of his stomach. He hears someone kneel down beside him.

“Shit, are you okay?” you ask.

Even though the steps were small and the suit had cushioned most of his fall, the lack of a mask meant that he had, in fact, hit his nose at some point. He feels it start to ache. Though the last thing he wants to do right now is face you. He can’t get himself to do it.

Instead, he stays facedown and settles on giving you a thumbs up. You don’t immediately move, so after what feels like an eternity, he hears your shoes shuffle a bit against the pavement. From the corner of his eye, he sees you set down the wolf head beside him. It must’ve rolled away at some point (oh god).

“Jisung…right?”

He stiffens. That might’ve been the worst possible thing that could’ve happened next. He would’ve never expected his name to fall from your mouth and slowly, he lifts head up in humiliation. So much for remaining anonymous.

The sight that greets him, though, could’ve came straight out of a shoujo anime.

Bathed in the afternoon light, you’re hovering over him with knitted brows and a look of concern. He catches you sigh out in relief once his eyes meet yours. Now he’s stuck staring dumbly at you, suddenly at a loss for words. You’re somehow prettier up close.

“You okay?” you ask again, setting a hand on his shoulder.

Jisung is just about to respond when he realizes that his nose is very much going to start bleeding. He quickly pushes himself into a seat and reaches a paw (oh god) to his face. His mouth is uncomfortably dry as he looks at you, nodding sheepishly.

“Y-yeah,” his swallows. “I’m okay.”

Your eyes scan him and his cheeks burn. He looks away, praying you don’t notice how flushed his face probably is.

Unknowingly, you scoot closer. “Are you sure? I can call someone, if you need me to. I’m also First Aid certified.”

He nods again, only to pause at the feeling of blood rushing towards his right nostril and he really can’t risk getting it on the suit. He gives you a bashful look, “Actually…do you have a tissue?”

You smile at the sudden request, laughing softly. “Yeah, I do.”

His heart swoons.

Reaching into your tour guide backpack, you take out a packet of tissues, sliding one out before handing it to him. As best as he could, he presses it against his nose with the stupid paw. You help him stand back up.

“Thanks,” he breathes, giving you a small nod. 

“Yeah, no problem,” you say. “I didn’t know you were the mascot.”

“I’m not,” he admits, nodding towards the two idiots behind him. “I lost a bet.”

This earns another dazzling laugh from you. “Okay, good. I think you look better without the fursuit anyway.”

He blinks at you and suddenly, it’s your turn to blush, waving your hands frantically in the air. “N-not that you don’t look good in the costume. Because you do. You always do. I, um, I just meant that—you know...”

Your words falter and honestly, Jisung is still stunned that you think he looks good at all. He lets out a small laugh, one short and airy to ease you.

“It’s okay,” he reassures. “I know what you mean. Thanks.”

You pause for a split second then, looking up at him as if there’s something more you want to say. Only, your attention is snatched once you seem to remember the unfinished tour waiting for you. You look from the group back to him and take a step back. 

“I gotta go.”

With his free hand, he gives you wave, still a bit dazed. “Oh, right. See ya.”

Though just before you leave, you meet his gaze, adding a quick, “I’ll save you a seat in class tomorrow, yeah?”

He stills. This can’t be real. His pulse picks up again, thrumming against his ribcage.

“Y-yeah, sounds good,” he stutters, a smile tugging at his lips. “I’ll see you then.”

You resume your tour and Jisung turns to head back inside, but not without first smacking both Jaemin and Chenle with the stupid wolf head in hand. Even then, he’s undoubtedly smiling like an idiot.

So sure, while Jisung may always regret the way he met you, he can’t really say he’d change a single thing about it either.

After all, it brought him to you.

[misshypnofascinated]

En route

There is this… feeling in the air. It is almost time. I don't know for what, but it is coming nearer. I have had that feeling for a few days now, Fading fragments of pretalk, and preparations pass through my mind, but I forget them just as fast as they appear. My mind thinks it is more fun, more exciting like this. I redressed as soon as I came home. I'm always ready for you to message me, but today I wanted to look good. I wanted to look desirable. I get a message from you. I feel the familiar tingle of excitement, and I rush to my laptop. I put on relaxing music on my headphones, a nice long track of a few hours. You ask me to breathe slowly for you. You ask me to sink and relax. You ask me to let go. You ask me to go down and drop. I obey. You ask me if all is ready. I see the weekend bag and the printed tickets. I did not noticed them before. But now they are on the forefront of my mind. You tell me it is time. I obey. My mind stays empty, but I take my coat, the bag, and the tickets. I walk outside and lock the door. With that motion, I lock my uncertainties and my shame away. I walk to the bus in my revealing dress, but I don't wonder how other people see me. I'm just focused on the sounds on my headset and the goal that I have. The bus is quiet this time of day, and I sit down. I read your messages, and mindlessly respond. You guide me deeper with each city I pass. I have no idea where I'm going. I'm blissfully unaware.

---

"You know, I will be in your timezone tomorrow." I stare at the screen. Those words have implications. And some of these implications are doing things with me. My timezone... The timezone is big, but you have never been so near to me since I have known you. You could be a day away, or you could just as easily be in my city. You could stand behind me as I get some food, whisper a word in my ear, and make me all soft and wet without warning. "Does that excite you?" What should I say? I'm at a loss for words. The possibilities tumble through my head. Excited, with some small tingles of fear. It was all fun and games when it was just text on a screen. But in person... That is another ballpark. But gosh, the idea is hot... "I'm working hard here, and I can use some stress relief ~"

---

I transfer to a train. I'm just aware enough to find my seat, and then I go back deeply entranced. I'm proud I can go deep enough for this. I love floating like this. The world passes me, and the other passengers don't know what I'm doing. When I reach the final station, I walk to the exit. I don't know how long I traveled, and it doesn't matter. The hotel is across the station. I enter, and just know what floor and what room I need to go to. You led me here perfectly. Before the door of your hotel room, I have a moment of clarity. I see the fancy sexy dress under the small coat, the weekend bag. I remember the promises you made to me, of being your toy, your plaything, your stress relieve for your business trip. I can't believe I'm here, so close, just one knock away. Suddenly uncertain, I pause.

[spook-inoue]

Sweet.

Hoodie x F Reader ~ (Short)

The worn out old garage with low yellow lit lights that would flicker every few minutes gave me a headache while wiping the old build up of blood that has now hardened on the many different tools owned by my neighbours. But In this very moment, the only thought I could think about was how my fingers would feel going through his hair. Would it easily slip through- Or would it get tangled up?

“ Y/N. “

“ Yes? ”

His commanding tone just made me more tense, if he could hear my thoughts it would be humiliating. But a part of me wishes he knew what I was thinking.

I’ve been working with Brian, or well ‘Hoodie’ for 2 years now. Ever since I’ve been recruited into the shit show. The operator found me in a vulnerable moment and took advantage of it. Made me another one of his minions, we all are aware that that’s what we are. But what els do we have to live for?

“ could you hand me a new cloth? “

His faded worn out yellow hoodie was tied around his waist while his mask remained on. His light brown hair was sticking out from the bottom back of his mask that would lift up whenever he moved too fast due to it not being put on properly.

“ Yeah. “

I reached down to grab a new cloth for him from underneath the bench I was cleaning tools on. As much as I hate cleaning duty, I never mind spending it with him. I held out the cloth for him to take.

“Thank’s Doll. “

Doll. Little pet names and nicknames he would throw around when talking, did he just do it to me? I’m not sure. I’ve over heard him talking to our other female Co workers. He would give them little pet names too when thanking them, I surely wasn’t special? And it angered me. But god, the affect those little names had on me. I bit my tongue when his fingers brushed against my hand as he took the cloth from my hand, I only returned a simple nod before continuing to clean.

He was a quiet man, only spoke when needing something or answering someone. He rarely made small talk, only people I’ve seen him have full conversations with were Tim and occasionally Toby and Jack. But mostly Tim. They both worked in pairs mostly, a perfect duo to pick for big assignments that needed to be done right.

A strong taste of Copper went over my taste buds, the edge of my tongue ruff and hot from the friction of my teeth. Unconsciously I kept biting my tongue without realising, I coughed out into my hand bothered by the unpleasant taste of my own blood in the moment.

Blood from my tongue was sprinkled onto my hand before I wiped it off on another cloth annoyed that I allowed that to happen.

“ Coughing blood? “

He questioned tossing a newly cleaned knife into a worn out box, reaching for the next bloodied up weapon to disinfect. His voice was monotone, but had a slight hint of curiosity in it. I cleared my throat from the copper taste.

“ Just bit my tongue. “

He chuckled, his voice low and deep. It made my heart rise suddenly, it made me nervous.

“ That hard? How? “

Now turning his head towards me, waiting for my response. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to get a kick out of it; or was actually genuinely curious. I couldn’t read him at all.

“ accident. I’m okay, got too focused and didn’t realise- haha “

A moment of silence passed between us as he took his time to respond.

“ Focused on cleaning? That’s the first. “

Just as I thought the topic was dropped I heard the sound of tools being thumbed down as foot steps approached me. His arm rested onto my bench as he leaned towards me.

“ You sure you’re okay? “

No I wasn’t.

“ You’re always so quiet around me, why’s that? “

Me being quiet? No it’s you. He leaned closer, I felt the tickle of the warm taste of copper in my mouth leaked from my tongue as a drop escapes on my lips.

“ I’m not sure what you mean? “

I know what he means. Im a very chatty person, but when it comes to him. My words get caught in my throat. He lifts up his mask only revealing his mouth and nose, my eyes widen a bit surprised. This is the closest I’ve ever seen him without his mask on, it almost felt disrespectful to look- unconsciously I moved my head to the side avoiding to look at him.

His hand grips my chin forcing it towards him, his thumb moves over my bottom lip slowly smearing the blood all over his thumb before bringing up to his face. my blood on it. He sticks his tounge out and licks the blood clean off before smirking at me, all I could do was stare. The lower part of my body screaming while I gawked up to him like a god.

“ it’s sweet. “

He said before pulling his mask back down.

“ I see what you do. “ he moved away walking to the door

“ You’re not sneaky, Y/N. “

Looks like that wished came true, and now I’m not sure if I peed myself or if it was something else.

[thatsatricky1]

𝐍𝐞𝐰𝐛𝐢𝐞

Jeno’s friend group profiles

𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐋𝐞𝐞:

Oldest in the business Major course. He was the one to stumble across fight club first, slowly getting the rest of his friend group involved. During his daily university life no one would think he had serious anger issues considering the fact he had a tight lipped smile and polite manners, exactly the way his parents had taught him to be, especially with people that have connections.

𝐇𝐮𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐑𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧:

The one who doesn’t take shit from anyone, if it were socially acceptable he’d be swinging left, right and centre at any inconvenience if it weren’t for the fact he was studying at the top University in Seoul. But for now he had to put up with only being able to do that through Fight club, and Haechan if he was around and testing his patience.

𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐉𝐞𝐧𝐨:

Jeno is widely known to be a soft and gentle person when it comes to interacting with him on campus, easily conversing with others even if he’d rather be anywhere else in that moment. When it comes to being off campus he won’t give anyone the time of day if said person isn’t influential or has possible connections to higher up people. His parents were used to paying people off for their silence when he was younger when he’d cause trouble or problems, which he did quite a lot due to his deep rooted anger, however through time Jeno had learned to control his behaviour in front of other and only fight through fight club, unless he had a slip up here and there which would be covered up immediately. If he sees someone as a potential threat to himself (education, life, friend group ect.), he won’t hesitate to get rid of the said problem.

𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧:

How Haechan managed to get into the University of Neo Technology was a wonder to many who knew him. But it all chalked up to his parents and their well known contact of higher ups. Even so, he did well in his major surprisingly enough, passing through semesters with b+’s which were the low averages. If there’s any possibility of riling up his friends, he’ll take it, mainly hoping between Mark and Renjun who gave him the best reactions. He has zero patience and will push to get his way even if it means unethically.

𝐍𝐚 𝐉𝐚𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧:

Jaemin was set up to go to Neo Technology University since the beginning, with his parents being loyal funders of the faculty for years even before he’d applied and gotten into the major he wanted. If there was something he wanted, money always allowed it to become a reality. He come’s from old money and doesn’t mind flaunting it. In his opinion if he has the money why not use it. Don’t let him behind a wheel though, he may have a driving license but that may or may not have been due to bribery.

𝐙𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐥𝐞:

Chenle is also someone who comes from old money but not just that, his parents had a lot of connections to many influential people, though as Chenle grew up he was smart enough to broaden those connections by himself and knew a lot of people even his parents hadn’t quite gotten to. That being said Chenle has an image as a Zhong to uphold even if he’d rather not. To the influential public he is a distinguished and bright young man with a great future ahead, but to those that fall below that category he is blunt and will make it his goal to get them to either have a breakdown or leave his vicinity as fast as possible, either way works well for him.

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐉𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠:

The youngest of his friend group, but don’t get it twisted Jisung is just like his friends when it comes to the double sided persona he’d built over time. On campus he’s seen as the quietest, mainly avoiding interaction if possible though if he has to talk or interact with others he’ll do so with an awkward smile and nearly whisper levelled response. In private he is much more relaxed and isn’t one bit afraid of giving his option on anything even if it comes out harsh, mainly because he intends on it being harsh. If there is one thing Jisung prefers it’s talking with his fists rather then forming sentences with his mouth.

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @strrykais @chenlesfavorite @dudekiss3r @strawberrysavi @nislost @polarisjisung @nattan127 @rotinyzen @wonyoungmywife @snflwrhaerecs4u @thegreenlynx @serinebsblog @delululi @molensworld @morkiee @marvelahsobx @kaciebello @kgneptun @bluedbliss @haechansbbg @officiallyjaehyuns @bunnychui

𝐍𝐞𝐰𝐛𝐢𝐞 | l.jn smau masterlist:

Click here

[drabblesandimagines]

Breathless

Clive Rosfield x female reader Angsty, one swear word, description of panic attack, minor game spoilers?

Inspired by this request.

It has been a trying, upsetting week. Not once, but twice had your unit of Cursebreakers arrived too late in order to free some overworked Bearers. Masters have been working them harder since the crystal magicks have started to falter, depending on their source. You knew you were spread too thin – it was always going to be by a couerl’s whisker if you made it there in time. It still hurts, though, to find the petrified bodies, gathering up their remains to perform another solemn casting in the hope that at last they will have found peace.

You’re exhausted, overworked – by your own hand, you know – and to come back without anything to show for it is so discouraging.

You know you should think of all the successful missions, the ones where the boat had come back filled with Bearers who would be safe for the first time in their lives at the Hideaway, but the failure weighs heavily on your mind. Reporting back to Dorys that, no, you weren’t fast enough, you weren’t good enough…

You shake your head, as if you could physically shake the negative thoughts from your mind. You need a hot meal and a decent sleep – one that wasn’t a short nap on the ground, never allowing yourself to sleep too deeply as you needed to be ready to move at a moment – and to be embraced in a certain Fire Dominant’s arms.

As the Cid of the new Hideaway, Clive is a very busy man. He’s often being pulled in multiple directions with various requests. You both had your own missions too and rarely did the two coincide in nature, but that’s the way your relationship had always been. There’s always been something between the two of you, the spark kindled into a steady flame throughout the past few years, culminating in a passionate liaison under a moonlit sky. The time apart always made the moments you had together all the more special, like no time had passed at all as he held you tight in his arms in his bed at night, when you kissed him as if you needed him to breathe, nipping your teeth lightly on his neck to coax a moan from Lord Rosfield’s lips.

Or other nights when you’d sobbed in his arms – for those you’d lost, the injustices you’d witnessed and he’d whisper soft reassurances in your ear, promising the dawn would come.

The world is wearing you down and he is like a tincture for your soul.

Dorys must’ve been keeping an eye out for the skiff because she is waiting for you as the lift opens up on the boarding deck. She casts a questioning eye over the group who stands behind you, obviously looking for Bearers.

You shake your head, sadly, before she can question aloud.

“You did your best, all of you. Any injuries?” A couple in the group nod and are promptly sent off to the infirmary. Dorys gives you a hard stare as you stay put.

“I’m fine, honestly. Nothing to trouble Tarja with.”

“Then get some food and sleep – we’ll debrief in the morning.”

“Thanks, Dorys.” You cast a glance up at the balcony outside Clive’s chambers but your captain easily catches it.

“You’ll be pleased to know he’s home, I’m sure,” Dorys teases.

--

The ale hall is deserted due to the late hour but as you climb the stairs up to Clive’s chambers, there are noises from within. A light feminine laugh, accompanied by Clive’s deep chuckle and it makes you stop right outside the door. It seems impossible for anything to be funny at the moment, but another intrusive thought comes to mind - when was the last time you’d even heard Clive laugh in your presence?

There’s a bit of warped wood that needs tending to, but no-where near on the list of priorities. If you angle yourself just so, you can see through the crack. Jill and Clive are sat on the bench he keeps in his chambers, wine goblets in front of them, candles flickering throughout the room. It looks romantic. He has his body turned to the door, but you can see Jill is leaning towards him, her hand on his thigh.

You can’t hear what they’re saying – their voices too low for that – but Jill leans forward then and you step back, not wanting to see what happens next. Your heart pounds – you’re tired, you know you’re so tired and upset and a failure and your mind spirals.

Clive is a lord and Jill is a lady – a proper lady – raised in the courts and beautiful and charming and sweet. You don’t dress as fine as she, your hair never sits as pretty, you’re incapable of holding yourself with the same grace she does. You’re coarse, you only learned your letters in the last few years of Hideaway living, struggling somewhat as you don’t practice as much as you should. There had been a handful of nights where Clive would lie besides you patiently as you tried to read aloud a couples of passages from a children’s storybook, for Founder’s sake. Jill could write and read fluently, a dab hand at needlework too…

Of course they belong with each other. They will always have a connection that you won’t, of a shared childhood. They’re Dominants and they spend so much time together, they’re a perfect couple and you’ve been deluding yourself that you could’ve ever had kept hold of his heart in the way you did.

Your chest feels tight. You need to get out of here.

There’s movement from behind the door then and you hurry down the stairs, pressing yourself into the corner, being obscured by the shadows. The door to the chambers open and Jill departs.

“Thank you, Jill, for everything.”

She presses a kiss to his cheek and bids him goodnight, walking down the stairs and heading out via the boarding deck to head down to her room. The door to the chambers closes and you sink down against the wall, cuddling your knees.

Why does your chest hurt so?

You don’t know how long you sit there, eventually clambering back up to your own feet, leaning heavily on the wall, and taking the long way back to your bunk through the forge and up via the atrium and across the bridge, thankfully not meeting anyone on your journey as you crawl into bed.

--

You don’t sleep well, if at all. Your mind whirling with thoughts of Clive and Jill – what had he meant when he had thanked her? Clive is the sweetest man. He’d never want to hurt you, even at the cost of his own heart, but loving someone is letting them go, isn’t it?

You give up on sleep just before dawn, heading up to the mess where you find Dorys, mulling over reports at one of the tables. She smiles, sadly, at the sorry sight of you.

“I did not mean for you to be up with the sun to hand in your report.”

“I just want it over with. There’s not much to report. We failed, we were hours too late to both groups of Bearers. I need,” you swallow, before correcting yourself, “We need to get back out there today to try and get a head start on the next. I’m sure there’s a pattern, or we can stage something or-”

“Absolutely not.”

“Dorys.”

“No. You look awful. Did you even sleep?”

“I’m fine.” You reply, tersely.

“I disagree. I’m not letting you take out a group like this, let alone go out yourself. You will report to the infirmary and you will rest.”

“Really?” You can’t mask the incredulous tone of your voice.

“I’m surprised Clive didn’t say this to you already.”

Your heart skips at the sound of his name, but then Dorys frowns in realization.

“Wait, you came down from the bunks. Did you not see him last night?”

“It doesn’t matter where I slept!” You hiss, remembering to watch your volume at this early hour.

She gives you a hard stare. “If you won’t listen to me, I know you will listen to him. Go and see Clive before I drag you to him.”

You clench your fists in frustration, trying to steady your breath.

“Yes, Captain. I apologise. It was late, I did not wish to disturb him. I will go and report in now.” You spin on your heel and jog down the stairs to the boarding deck and towards the ale hall. The problem is, your frustration drives you until you reach the top of the stairs once more, the handle in your grip but then all you can remember is the scene of last night – how perfect the two had looked together…

It suddenly feels hard to breathe, a tightness constricting your chest, as if you can’t get your lungs to expand fully enough.

You need to get out of here, back into the fresh air.

You turn and stumble on the stairs, catching yourself on the banister.

“Hey, you all right there?” Gav’s concerned voice comes from below – he’d emerged through Blackthorne’s forge. He must be setting out on a scouting mission to be awake this early.

You look at him, trying to get a hold of yourself, force a smile and a word of reassurance, but you can’t.

Your legs give out under you and you sit down heavily on the stairs, still clutching on the banister. Your grip is weakening, the edges of your vision tinged with black. Why can’t you breathe? Are you so useless now you can’t even do that?

“Shit.” Gav races up the stairs, crouching down in front of you, eyes scanning to see where the injury is, because there must be one for you to be in such a state. “Clive.” He bellows in the direction of the chambers. “Clive!”

Heavy footsteps come from the chambers behind and you hear the door open behind you, that familiar gravelly, albeit sleep-tinged voice calling your name out with affection at first, but then again with alarm when he sees Gav’s face.

Gav stands up and back to allow Clive to take his place, before darting down the stairs, yelling something about how he’ll go fetch Tarja.

Clive cradles your face, asking you what’s wrong. He looks frightened, but that can’t be right. Why can’t you breathe?

He says something again to you, but the words don’t go in. All you can hear is how shallow your breathing has become. Tears line those stormy blue eyes you adore so much, the ones you could’ve spent staring into for hours. His mouth continues to move but it’s almost as if you were underwater, a ringing sound in your head, the black continuing to creep over your vision until the world disappears entirely.

--

The next conscious thought is that someone is holding your hand, rubbing their thumb back and forth over your knuckles in a comforting rhythm. Your chest still feels tight, but not as much as it did. You open your eyes and blink at the somewhat familiar ceiling of the infirmary.

“Thank the Founder you’re awake.” Clive says quietly, squeezing your hand.

You try to bolt up at his voice, but he places his hands on your shoulders and keeps you still.

“Easy, darling. You need to rest - please.” You’ve always found it hard to refuse him.

You nod and he smiles, letting go of your shoulders and readjusting the pillows to allow you to rest against a little more upright. “Here, drink.” He passes you a goblet of water from the bedside.  “I will fetch Tarja.”

You nod, taking it in trembling hands and sip the lukewarm water as he gets to his feet and heads around the curtain, soon returning with the red-headed physicker as you place the goblet back down.

“Good afternoon. You gave everyone quite a fright this morning.”

“I’m sorry.”

Tarja gives you a kind smile and takes a seat on the vacant bed. “Can you tell me what happened? Gav, Clive and Dorys have given me their side of the story.”

“I don’t know what it was. I just… I suddenly couldn’t breathe. It was like something was constricting my chest and I couldn’t get the air in.”

Tarja nods. “How had you been feeling before this occurred?”

“Fine.”

Clive and Tarja give you a disparaging look.

“A little tired, then.”

“Dorys told us you’ve been working exceptionally hard, and it has been a trying week.”

“Please, can we not speak of my failures?” Your breath hitches in your throat, your heart begins to pound again. “I’ll do better, I will…”

“Easy.” Tarja chides, leaning forward. “Take a deep breath, hold it, then release. Copy me.”

You do so for a couple of moments, feeling silly, but your chest loosens, your heart settling into a more comfortable rhythm.

“Better?”

“Mm. What’s the matter with me?”

“You’re exhausted, for one. You need to rest and properly look after yourself. You’re taking too much on your shoulders and this is your body’s way of repaying you. Your mind is overwhelmed." She paused for a moment, and nods to herself. "You’re relieved from the Cursebreakers.”

“But-"

“Listen to Tarja.” Clive pleads. “They will cope without you and when you are better, I promise you can resume your duties.”

You know you can’t get out of this, not with Tarja, Clive and Dorys all laying down the law.

You nod.

“Good.” Tarja smiles. “I’m going to brew you some tea and get you a hot meal. I will discharge you later on, all being well.”

“Thank you, Tarja.” Clive nods as the physicker gets to her feet.

“Thank you.” You repeat, softly.

Tarja retreats back around the other side of the screen and Clive takes hold of your hand once more, his brow still furrowed in concern.

“Dorys said you returned last night. Why didn’t you come to my chambers? I’ve missed you so.”

You look down at your lap. It would better to get this nightmare over with.

“I heard you and Jill.”

“Heard what?” He sounds truly puzzled.

“I came up to the chambers and the two of you were laughing. You sounded happy. And all I could think was when was the last time I’d heard you laugh like that? We hardly see each other. I’m always out with the Cursebreakers, and you’re always away with Jill.” He starts to protest, but you hold up your hand. “Please, Clive, it’s okay. I understand. Don’t… Don’t let me stand in the way anymore.”

“Stand in the way - what do you mean?”

“You and Jill are perfect for one another. I understand that you want to end whatever we’ve been calling this…“ You continue talking into your lap, afraid that if you look up you'll see relief in his eyes.

“Now, I admit I’ve been somewhat neglectful of you-”

“No, that’s not what-“

“Please, allow me to finish. I have, and that’s not fair. I desire nothing more than to spend the rest of my days with you, but I have allowed myself to be consumed with the Mothercrystals and the nature of that does mean that Jill has been in my company as late. I can’t take you into an aetherflood, I won’t risk it.”

“Destroying the Mothercrystals is important.”

“It is, and though we are fighting so Bearers and Dominants and everyone can live on their own terms, we still must remember to live in the moments we have.” Clive presses his hand to the side of your face, placing his thumb under your chin and tilts your gaze gently towards him.

“I love you.”

“Clive…” Your eyes burn with unshed tears.

“You, and only you, are the flame that burns within my heart. Earlier, when you spoke of your failures – what failures? You strive to be the best you can every day, darling. I see it, Dorys sees it, Jill, Gav, Otto, Charon – the whole Hideaway. You are passionate, hardworking, kind, considerate… You will have to forgive me as I am no scribe, but I could continue to wax on somewhat lyrically of everything I adore about you.” His face flushes red as he continues to hold your gaze.

“I love you – I do not tell you enough, I know I don’t – and I vow, from this moment onwards, I will make sure you know this every day.”

Your breath catches again, but not in the same way it had previously. You lean forward, allowing yourself to be fully enveloped in his arms and you sob into his neck – releasing the tension that has been building up within you for days.

He holds you close, rubbing his large palm on your back in comforting circles, allowing your anxieties to retreat under the surface. You know they will re-emerge at some point – it would be foolish to think they would not – but for now they settle.

“I love you too,” you mumble, gaining some composure after a period and pull back, wiping the tears from your face before kissing him, delicately. It is a gentle, reassuring kiss – perfect for the moment. Soft pecks against each other’s lips, before you nip his with your teeth ever so slightly.

He pulls back, pressing his forehead against yours. “Careful, my love, or you’ll make me lose my breath.”

--

Masterlist . Requests welcome . Ko-fi

[optimisticstudentangel]

Studying with side characters to an upcoming exams

I am inactive right now because of the exams, so yeah.

Diavolo

Preparation with Diavolo is always fast and fun. With him, you can easily forget about the transience of time. It’s all because you will not get bored in his company even during boring studying.

- Hmm, I think you made a mistake here, - Diavolo pointed his finger at your answer. He took your hand and started writing over your mistake. His hands were big and firm, from such close contact, you blushed. "I hope Diavolo doesn't notice my red cheeks," you thought to yourself. To hide the fact that you blushed, you decided to turn your head a little so that the Devil wouldn't see your face.

- MC? Everything is fine? The demon asked worringly.

- Yeah, it's okay. I'm just a little tired of the work I've done," you said.

"Oh, then let's get some rest," Diavolo suggested. "I am gonna be honest, I myself began to feel tired. Maybe we'll have a snack, food surely will give us some energy to continue our studies," said the demon.

"That's a great idea," you agreed with him. "Maybe food will distract me from embarrassment. I can't concentrate on preparation when all my thoughts are about Diavolo," you thought to yourself.

Before you were going to have a snack, Diavolo stopped you. "Is something wrong?" you asked.

Diavolo came closer to you and patted you on the shoulder. "Great job, MC, I'm proud of you!" he smiled.

- How damn cute he is... - you thought. Well, I suppose the thoughts about Diavolo will only get worse.

Barbatos

It would seem that preparing for exams with a butler is like signing a contract on your own death on your own initiative. Very stupid and masochistic. But it's not that scary. Perhaps because you are his favorite, Barbatos is not as cruel as, for example, with the demon brothers. You've seen a couple of times what a butler is capable of in a bad mood, so annoying him is not an option.

- MC, I had to cancel some tasks directly related to Diavolo. I hope you understand the responsibility and importance of our preparation for exams with you? Please don't disappoint me," the demon said with a smile. After the words he said, goosebumps ran through you.

You looked through the materials of those lessons with which you did not understand. The demon explained topics that were hard for you, which you could not grasp in any way.

- Well, I've told you everything you need to know. Now let's check how well you listened to me," the butler said. "If you can answer all the questions correctly, you will receive a reward from me"

- Okay – you agreed.

The butler asked you a lot of questions. You tried to give an answer to each of them, to the best of your abilities.

- Hmm... - Barbatos drawled. Judging by his expression, he wasn't particularly happy about your situation. "Well, I think it's satisfactory for today," he barely managed to say.

- So there will be no reward? – you said jokingly.

The demon sighed wearily. "Okay, since you did your best, I think we can pamper you a little," the demon kissed you on the cheek. "It's not enough," you muttered. Barbatos chuckled because of your insolence. "Get a better result, then you will get your reward. Consider it your motivation to try" - Then get ready, because next time I will get not only a kiss," you threatened.

Luke

Getting ready with Luke wasn't really easy. It took you a lot of work yourself to learn the material at least a little. And explain it to Luke? But despite the difficulties, you wanted to help the angel so that he could pass the exam at least for the average score.

- MC, I'm tired. I can't take it anymore," the angel began to complain. At such moments, he strongly reminded you of a small child, which he really is.

- Okay, Luke, do you want to move a little? Exercise and walking have a good effect on our brain, after any movement, it becomes easier for the brain to remember information," you explained. And Luke happily agreed.

After you walked in the park, which was near the hall of purgatory, you asked Luke if he was ready to continue. However, Luke shook his head, and his face transformed into a sour expression.

"No, it won't work that way," you thought to yourself. Even though you understood Luke's strong reluctance not to prepare, you still had to play dirty. "Luke, do you know Michael recently asked how you are doing with your studies" - the pupils of his eyes have become larger.

"R-Really?" Luke asked.

"Yeah," you confirmed.

The angel drooped, but he himself offered to continue preparing for the exam. Still, the boy did not want to lose face in front of Michael. After both of you worked hard, you invited Angel to go with you to eat a sweet cake in a cafe so that Luke would be happy. The angel became happy again and agreed.

Simeon

It wasn't the first time you've asked for help about studying with Simeon. Being an angel, Simeon skillfully possessed a lot of knowledge about the Devildom, which always amazed you. He was like a mini encyclopedia that could easily explain you topics that you didn't understand.

- Here's a test assignment for you, little lamb. I'll give you 20 minutes, I hope that's enough? After that, we will analyze your mistakes and focus on those moments where you have questions, okay? angel asked.

- God bless you, Simeon. What would I do without you," you thanked your savior.

"Heheh, I'm just glad I was helpful," Simeon said, embarrassed.

You have done test tasks several times, each time your mistakes became less and less. After the next test, you exhaled wearily and lay down on the bed.

- You must be tired, little lamb? Let me give you a massage so you could relax ," the angel suggested. You gladly agreed and lay down on your stomach to give Simeon your back. His hands expertly massaged your body, pressing on the places where you need and easing the friction in your sensitive areas. Because of his magic hands, you began to fall asleep, the angel, having learned this, began to massage your skin more slowly so that you could finally fall asleep. As soon as you fell asleep, Simeon passed his hand over your cheek and said: "You're so cute in a sleepy state." The angel put away all your books and papers and put them in your bag.

Solomon

Preparing with Solomon was something between fun and peculiar kind of activity. He always liked to study Devildom lessons in depth, so don't think you can fool around while he seriously explains something to you. At times, Solomon acts as your demanding teacher, who is ready to force you to redo the work so many times until he is satisfied with you.

- Solomon, I've already said this spell thousand times, can it be enough already? – you said plaintively.

- Oh no, don't exaggerate, it's only 23 times. Besides, are you going to behave the same way in the exam? Don't forget, my dear student, you can't let me down. So get ready and cast the spell again," the sorcerer ordered.

After you honed the spell to perfection, Solomon offered to cook you something. "Oh, no, no, Solomon! Of course I'm grateful, but I don't think I have the strength to eat anything at the moment," you quickly got your bearings.

- what? What a pity, but I wanted to please you. Then tell me what should I do for you to make you feel better," Solomon asked.

- Just spend some time with me in a hug, I think that will be more than enough, - you said.

Solomon agreed. He picked you up and carried you to his bed as if you were newlyweds. He gently laid you on a soft mattress, covering you with a pleasant-to-touch blanket. Then he lay down next to you, pressing you against his warm body. You hugged each other, it really relaxed you, making you forget about your long preparation for the exam.

[fountian-of-youth]

Entity/z- 013253

Name

Allo Bernila Dalisay nanol

Sex

Female

Gender preference

Male

Pronouns

He/him

Age

25

Race

Filipino

Personality

Snarky , sarcastic , sassy with hostile asshole behaviors but has been seen to be calm or tired at moments with a caring parental / brotherly love and soul . Basically tired dad 24/7

DNA/ mutations

Sea angel , tendril tongues , black fanged teeth and tail n wings

Ability

Hyper regenerative healing , breath under water , flexible , toxic

Weakness

physically the same as a human so easily hurt and damaged especially his tail and wings, a paper clip can slice through those. Basically Fragile body , eyes sensitive to bright lights or annoying flashing light, can't see well in the dark . Downside of healing super fast means he feels the pain of every fiber of his body being mended back which can exhaust him to passing out. He's easy prey if you catch him off guard only toxic when someone bites him or tries to eat his flesh

Appearance

5.2 with short dark chocolate hair , yellow eyes with slitted pupils , tan with hints of lighter skin tone around the face and hands. Round but slim jaw and lean body frame with slight muscle but mostly skinny frame. Wears typically dark blue hoody and pants n shirt , black vest strap , a belt with customized eye on it . Black face mask and a black hat with glowing parts that matched the glowing accents of his outfit and combat boots.

Family ties

Father (deceased , mother (deceased , brother (deceased ), aunts and uncles or related family (estranged/ deceased )

Criminal history

Hit n run , murder proven guilty after being sent to urban shade (innocent)

Sentence/jail time

20 years in jail , only served two before handed over to urban shade

Additional information

can do medic work and CPR / basic wound care , ASL , knows how to comfort and care for autistic spectrum kids/ people due to him being his brother's caretaker. Can sew clothes up too . Knows how to cook and clean really well

History

growing up allo was raised in a very pampered stern love in his family . His parents were never the best in money and had to constantly work to earn things either by selling things from his mum's side store below their apartment. Or from his father's jeepney business (think of buss but on a jeep all painted and sparkled out ) . When he was old enough to help out at age 12 his parents taught him sternly to keep the house clean and to cook so when the day ends the family can eat dinner together.

Most time dinner was just fish and rice they were able to get / buy. When he grew to be more older at 17 his parents slowly started to get better financial but still held stern to the way allo lived. Even asking allo to at least help out by working as a part time house cleaner. So when he earned money he can pay them for his school bills and such when really his parents were keeping the money safe to give to allo when he was an adult. Since allo wanted to get good money and always wanted to help his family when he graduated highschool. He went straight for medical school mostly nursing and health care where he learned to help kids out.

This lead to him earning good money once he graduated and plus with his parents giving his money back he was able to buy a home. A nice little tropical beach house in a cleaner part of his home. This was about the time allo's parents revealed they were gonna have another child. Which worried allo cause his mother was past birth safety but knew he couldn't speak out much.

After his mother gave birth to his brother there was some complications as during the birth a emergency c section was conducted . Now allo 's brother was healthy and ok when taken out but the doctors found out allo's mum had undiagnosed uteruses cancer.

Stage 3 ones. When allo's mum was patched up and the news given the family was left horrified as allo's mum had at most two years to live. But even with this allo mum was strong and helped the family stay positive. For the two years she lived allo helped his parents by staying with them for a bit to help with his mum's treatment and to aid in raising his baby brother. When his mother passed allo had to help raise his baby brother with his father.

When Leo (allo's brother ) was at age four another accident happened. Allo's father had a heart attack and passed away leading allo to getting sole custody for his baby brother. From there he discovered Leo's autism causing allo to raise and care for his baby brother with more care. He even learned sign learned sign language to help speak with his baby brother seeing him struggle with words when Leo was overstimulated.

For four years allo would raise his brother giving him nothing but love and care to help Leo express himself. Either by helping the kiddo swim at lakes and oceans to see the wildlife there . Allo was very cautious of box jelly fish due to the dangers and his brother's safety. To help his baby brother have a good childhood especially in the school he enrolled his brother in that helps kids like him understand society and some abilities to learn to work.

This came to end in a hit and run accident that acquired when allo was driving his car to take himself and Leo to the lake again since Leo wanted to see some fishes and swim in the hot summer days. A drunk driver that was driving same day and time as them hit the card from the side and sent the vehicles rolling to as top over the road.

The damage done and being directly impacted Leo passed away from his injuries when allo helped him out and tried to perform CPR to keep Leo alive. Since that incident he was sentenced to jail for two years before urban shade found him . When he was handed Over to urban shade later to try and retrieve the crystal.

The first time he was there Allo would do as urban shade wanted ie trying to get the crystal while avoiding the monsters. But the next day he knew he was forced to work with another expendable that showed up after him. During the two working to get to the crystal the other Expendable thought it would be funny to use a random dna container and syringe to inject allo with this "glowy stuff" . From there allo was mutated with the start being only his eyes and mouth . He did kill the other Expendable from the adrenaline rush from the painful transformation. From there he stayed hidden by wearing a scuba mask to be normal to other expandables. But a week later he would mark as dead due to the diving gear going off when he walked into a dead zone. He was marked as a wanted entity once urban shade spotted security footage of allo healing up after being nearly torn apart by the pandemonium.

[phantomrose96]

I love space and how extreme and fucked up it always in when viewed by the human level, and I thought many times about making a story like 938 Seconds Per Second, but I would always stop myself finding holes like "would the transported items even be valuable after so many years?" or "wouldn't the technology become obsolete at the exact moment it worked and years passed?" or "what about the ways language would have changed?" and you didn't allow details such as these to stop you. You didn't even gave them a spot in the story because it thematically ruins it, and now I am thinking "why am I not allowing myself to indulge the whole point of fiction?" and I feel something slowly unloxking within me. Also as a fan of fucked up physics and morals in sci-fi, loved the work!!!!

(938 Seconds Per Second)

See, here's the thing for me! Questions like that DO occur to me. It's part of thinking through the world-building. But for questions like that, unless they have a spot in the story it's MORE important, in my opinion, to instead answer: Does it detract from the story at all if I simply don't explore those? Is there anything about those questions that fundamentally breaks the story? Is it actually impossible for those to have answers?

"Would the items still be valuable?" If you mean in terms of the money amount that trades hands, I figure Entente money is pinned to an inflation-free peg. It can trade into local currency when it exchanges hands, but the Entente value is specifically inflation free, and specifically for workers dealing in time dilation. If you mean will the buyer still WANT the items after being shipped for so many years, sure there's speculation buying something you won't get for 100+ years. But I figure for intergalactic trade that spans light years, all their trade exists on these massive timescales. To have created this trade culture means there are cultures willing to wait out the time. The very foundation of their trade expects this exact thing.

"Wouldn't the technology become obsolete?" Keeping in mind the speed of light is still the fastest anything can move, you would NEED something like the ship to even get technology across the universe. So even if advancement is fast somewhere, spread is slow. These ships are probably couriers OF technology spread. And sure, probably a bunch of independent places independently advance their own technology, but the ship still docks down with some frequency between missions. Maintenance and upgrades can be done during any of those dock-down periods.

"Changing language?" Sure I bet language changes all the time. But for an intergalactic trade relation culture which has built itself upon immense time-gaps, they could easily have standardized to a specific, and non-changing, language standard. All legal documents are written in the common language, and as new items and concepts come into being they're given standard names. And then among regular people--translator masks. I gave the doctor one. The technology for that practically exists already today with google translate and text to speech, so it's very believable technology.

OKAY SO, ...were any of those answers actually super important to 938sps? Was 938sps harmed by not digging in to those...? I don't think so. Because none of this actually mattered to the core of the 938sps story. As long as none of these things presented glaring, unfixable plot-holes to the story, then I'm good. My answers to these questions might still be full of holes and what-ifs. Hell I probably could have answered any of these with "eh I dunno" and that still doesn't impact 938sps.

I think all of that leaves just a lot of runway and play-space to expand on the world presented in 938sps. But having any of those stop me from even putting down the first word? No, they don't matter.

[lacontroller1991]

Fluff/WhumpTOBER Day 16: Ernest Lawrence x F!Reader

Day 16: Yes, No , Maybe/Necrosis Masterlist Warnings: GA, social drinking, two idiots in love Word Count: 754

From the moment you joined Berkeley’s faculty, you knew that your life would change. The atmosphere was wildly different from the one back home. College students are found anywhere you turn, discussing their work amongst their peers. Even the faculty members all hold themselves in higher regards than where you’ve previously worked. One of those faculty members included Ernest Lawrence.

Tall, broad shoulders, neatly combed hair that shines under the sun, infectious smile, firm handshake, and smart. He’s a tall drink of water and 7/10 females on campus can’t help but to swoon when he gives them the slightest bit of attention, including you.

As the year grew on, you and him got close, closer than just fellow staff. What were small smiles in passing, grew into friendly greetings that would end in full conversations, grew into lunches with each other in his office, grew into full blown invitations to dinner parties at his house. Eventually, every time you stood anywhere near him, his hand would always briefly find yours, touches lingering a few seconds more. And you don’t know what to make of it.

----------

The chatter of people echoes in your ears as you weave your way through Oppenheimer’s house. It was another one of his bi-monthly house “meetings” that always turned into social parties. Tonight was no different. In most cases, you seek out Ernest, sticking to his side to avoid any other communication, instead choosing to engage with him over anyone else, but despite his tall stature, it sure is hard to find him.

“(Y/N), avoiding more people are we?” Robert questions with a smirk on his face, handing you one of his martinis. “I think I saw Ernest talking to a few people over there,” your eyes follow to where the physicist is pointing, easily spotting Ernest’s broad back facing you.

“Ah, thank you, Robert.” He nods his head with a smile before turning to another coworker, slipping into whatever conversation with ease as you walk towards your friend, your crush.

The sight in front of you causes you to halt in your movements. Facing him is a woman whom you’ve never seen, and she’s gorgeous. Painted red lips twist upwards in a smile that causes her eyes to twinkle. But what bothers you isn’t the beauty of the woman, it’s his hand gently resting on her bicep, words being softly spoken for only her to hear. Oh, so we don’t have anything. I was making everything up. He’s like that with every girl.

“Oh hey (Y/N)! I thought I saw you here. Want to join the conversation?” His voice snaps you out of your mental pity party. Downing the martini in one gulp, you offer a polite smile before turning on your heel and walking away, aware of the soft “excuse me” that he whispers to the woman, his footsteps chasing after you. “(Y/N), hold up.” It’s easy to find the door, and you’re thankful that Oppie keeps it open for anyone to come and go when they please, allowing you to slip out into the cool spring air. You need to get out of here and fast. “Hold up,” a hand gently grabs onto your wrist, pulling you into his body.

“What?”

“Why did you rush off? Are you feeling ok?”

Is he serious? “I’m fine. Sorry to disrupt your conversation. Didn’t want to intrude,” you forbid anger to rise to the surface, knowing that if it did, you’d just embarrass yourself. 

“I didn’t get to introduce you. That was Amy, my sister in law.” Wow, aren't I an idiot?

“Oh nice, sorry for running off. Needed some fresh air,” you attempt to chuckle, rubbing at the skin of your exposed arm, but he sees through it.

“Try again.”

Well, might as well. “Ernest, do you love me?”

“Ummm…” And here it comes. “Yes?” Wait. “No?” Well there goes your heart. “Maybe?”

Grabbing him by his biceps, you gently shake him. “Ernest. Pick one.”

He lets out a sigh, his head dropping as his eyes stare at his shoes for a second before looking back up to your waiting gaze. “Yes, yes I do.

“Oh thank God.” You push forward, standing on your tiptoes with your hands on his chest to stabilize yourself as you press a kiss to his lips. “I’m in love with you, Ernest.”

A goofy, dazed, smile plasters itself on his face as his hands fall to your hips. “It’s still early enough, wanna go get dinner?”

“Nothing sounds better.”

-fin-

@un-ionizetheradlab @anonymous-badger-238

[screamintoad]

Moving

A/n: This isn’t anything TWST related. Just a scrapped school assignment that was deemed “not professional enough”

Prompt: Write about a difficult time in your life

  Moving is an interesting experience. 

  You get used to living in one place for a few years. Memorizing the routes to all your favorite local spots and the addresses of your closest friends. And then suddenly, you’re packing up boxes-sorting through long-forgotten items. Deciding what to keep and what to throw away forever. All while wondering if your friends will even miss your presence when you’re hundreds of miles apart. One might assume that this is about the time I suddenly moved from New York to Arizona but, this applies to everywhere I’ve been. 

  Whenever I talk about the feelings I get both before and after moving, I’m always scolded for feeling the way I do. Typically met with “You should be grateful, most people live in the same place their entire lives!” By my family and “I wish I traveled as much as you!” From friends that I end up never speaking to again after I move. I’m the type to get easily attached to places and people, some of which I wish I could forget forever and others I wish I could stay in those moments for just a little bit longer. My parents had the same upbringing as me. Constantly moving from place to place, constantly meeting new people, and constantly having to repack boxes as their parents work locations changed before they were fully unpacked from previous events. 

  I remember as a kid I hated having to move yet I still had this curiosity for what would come next. Now in my late teens it’s simply a chore. We would stay in a place for anywhere between 6 months to 3 years and my parents used to find positives but now as the years pass I can tell that even they’re getting tired of it all. I used to always be doing extracurriculars ranging from various activities like ballet and gymnastics to studying languages and anything that had to do with biology. Anything that kept me busy. 

  This trend ended when I entered high school. I was pressured to focus on my schoolwork and studying. I dropped some of my most beloved hobbies like creating art and playing the guitar. Even now it’s bittersweet when I do them. 

  When I entered high school it was as if real life was thrusted onto me at the age of 14 and per tradition we continued to move from state to state all around the country. Which was now even harder than before since I would be sitting in the car as we drove past state lines trying to figure out math. Making friends was also hard because  at this stage in someone’s life they already have their friend groups sorted out. 

  When we moved to Alabama I was at the library at least once a week. To do schoolwork, to read, and to just have solace from home. I wish I could block out a lot of memories from there but, that small public library, was my personal haven during that time. 

  I hated it all. I hated the new weather, I hated the new people who treated us as foreign creatures just because we weren’t born and raised there, I hated the fast food that everyone claimed as world famous yet tasted the same as everywhere else. 

  This past move I, to this day, felt so alienated. Having to jump from hotel to hotel to vacation cabin, it was too much. When we finally got a vacant house it was nothing like what we were expecting so I fell back into old habits of just never being home. Except this time, I had no safe haven. So I began looking for anywhere that I could go. Downtown area has a diner but it’s always busy and loud. There’s a library but the air is silent and strict. Eventually I found myself volunteering at the local equestrian center which made things easier. But, I still never connected with people. 

  Now I did eventually make friends, or those who I call friends, but it’s as if there’s an invisible line that separates me from their other friends. I try to ignore it and push on, content with my solitude. Yet some days I genuinely feel like I belong here and that makes me feel bad for thinking of all the negative things. 

  I can’t say that I’m happy but I also can’t say that I’m completely disheartened that we’ll be here for another 2 years. There are things and people that I dislike. But, there’s also things and a person that I look forward to experience. This whole essay makes me sound selfish and ungrateful but, these thoughts have been nagging and screaming at me for years at this point. 

  They had to be said in some form. 

[catofadifferentcolor]

Terrible Fic Idea #72: Game of Thrones, but make it rags to riches

For all being a bastard in Westeros is not ideal, being the acknowledged natural son of the Warden of the North is a pretty good life. Sure, your food and clothing may not be as good as your trueborn siblings and your stepmother may hate you, but it could very easily be worse. As with many things, the wealth gap makes a difference here too.

So naturally I thought: why not take that all away? Or: What if a female Jon Snow was raised by her mother's maid?

Aka: The People's Queen Fic

Just imagine it:

Lyanna is just that much more stubborn than canon. She manages to grin and bear it through the first few hours of labor, giving no sign to her captors she's about to give birth. She calls for her maid - Myria Sand, a Dornish woman only a few months older than herself - only when the urge to push becomes too much.

She gives birth in silence to a daughter, biting back all her screams until her lips and tongue are bloody. Even if it wasn't clear Lyanna had lost too much blood, she wants better than what Rhaegar had planned for the babe. Lyanna urges her maid to take the child and escape.

Ned arrives at the Tower of Joy to find the remaining Kingsguard burying his sister. Thinking they killed her to hide their prince's secret, he flies into such a rage his bannermen would later say it was as if the spirit of Brandon overtook him. He takes his sister's bones north without ever learning of the child she carried.

Meanwhile, Myria gets as far from the Tower of Joy as possible. She has no idea who the lady in the tower was, only that she was being held against her will and her captors called her Lya. She names Lya's daughter Lynesse, thinking the names are similar enough to honor the woman she barely knew, but who gave everything to protect her child, and eventually finds her way to Oldtown.

Myria takes up service at the Scribe's Hearth and raises Lynesse as her own. It's a hard life, but it's loving, and several of the apprentices dote on little Lynesse, passing her sweets and teaching her to read and draw and do sums.

One of those apprentices is another Dornish bastard, Olyvar - a man a little older than Myria whose father, Nymor Lyons, is a minor lord sworn to House Uller - who has earned six iron links studying bladesmithing. He ends up leaving the Citadel to become a swordsmith in Oldtown and marries Myria in the middle of the Greyjoy Rebellion. He never treats Lynesse as anything other than his own.

Life gets a little less hard after that, but it's still hard work. Lynesse helps as she can as she grows older, but in the end its her drawings - including beautiful, functional designs for hilts - that end up getting attention, especially after her stepfather starts incorporating them into his work.

Meanwhile, canon proceeds apace elsewhere. Jon Arryn dies, Ned Stark is beheaded, the War of Five Kings rages. Prince Oberyn is killed by the Mountain... and Olyvar's father, who was part of Oberyn's retinue, tries to kill the Mountain in revenge. This goes poorly, leaving Olyvar's aging grandfather, Lord Lyons, without an heir. Lacking other options, he recalls Olyvar home and starts training him for the position.

Olyvar is not a bad student, merely disinterested in things that aren't swords. Lynesse, however, eagerly soaks up everything that her grandfather has to teach - though her main interest will always be in drawing and sculpture.

After a few month's preparation, Olyvar and his family are presented to Prince Doran. It is a Cinderella moment without a glass slipper.

Doran takes one look at Lynesse, sees Stark, and the wheels in his head start turning so fast they smoke.

His son Quentyn takes one look at Lynesse and falls into immediate lust, but is gentlemen enough to realize that his attentions make her uncomfortable and so leaves off his flirtations fairly quickly. They end up falling into a conversation about blade design through the known world - and, somewhat amazingly given their backgrounds, end the event as friends.

Doran encourages Quentyn's friendship with Lynesse and suggests to Lord Lyons that his granddaughter might benefit from time spent in the Lady Myrcella's retinue. Meanwhile, Doran has his agents start researching Lynesse's background - and what he finds surpasses his wildest dreams.

But while that plays out, the War of Five Kings continues. It's less major battle and more general chaos, with rule of law stretching only so far as each local lord cares to hold it. Dorne is an island of peace amid the storm and is waiting for the moment Daenerys makes landfall.

No one is more surprised than Quentyn when he's told to go to Dragonstone and present Lynesse as the queen's niece - except for perhaps Lynesse herself. Daenerys is suspicious at first, but the evidence is convincing - and, more importantly, a female relative is less threatening to her claim to the throne and thus can be safely considered family. Once they get over the awkwardness, they become fast friends.

Daenerys carries out her reconquest of Westeros and is eventually crowned Queen. Lynesse remains her heir until such time as she has children of her own... which seems less and less likely as time goes on.

When Dany dies in her 40s after a riding accident, Lynesse is crowned queen of the Seven Kingdoms. She is, perhaps not as powerful a ruler as Dany, but she is competent and fair and aware of her own limitations, and surrounds herself with good advisors. The commonfolk adore her, and for this and her childhood she is often called The People's Queen.

Bonuses include: 1) A slow burn romance between Quentyn and Lynesse. This should characterized by immediate lust on Quentyn's part which turns into genuine love and affection as he gets to know Lynesse over the course of two or three years. His attentions should make Lynesse uncomfortable from the start, but his efforts not to pressure her are a pleasant change after years of being a nothing more than a pretty bastard. Her feelings for Quentyn grow slowly, and its not until Dany suggests she marry Willas Tyrell to secure the Reach that Lynesse realizes she's in love with her best friend; 2) A lot of emphasis on what it's like to grow up as one of the common folk, without the advantages being a lord's bastard might grant. This should continue to a lesser degree after Myria and Olyvar marry, but still be a lingering presence in the back of Lynesse's mind well into Dany's reconquest; 3) Swords. Just everything there is to know about bladesmithing, complete with Olyver's attempts to recreate Valyerian steel. He never quite succeeds even with access to dragons, but comes up with a variant of Toledo steel during the reconquest (called Lyons steel) that makes his house very wealthy; and 4) Lynesse always considering Myria and Olyvar her true parents, and honoring them above all others.

And that's all I have. As always, feel free to adopt this bun, just link back to me if you do.

Other Jon Snow Headcanons: Aelor the Accursed | Aegon the Adopted | Aegon the Undying | Aegon the Unyielding | Aemon the Adventurous | Baelor the Brave | Bastard of Winterfell | Daemon the Destroyer | Daena the Dreamer | Daeron the Desired | Dyanna the Defiant | Elia the Magnificent | Jon the Fair | Jon Whitefyre | King of the Ashes | Lady Arryn | Lady Baratheon | Lady Lannister | Lady Stark | Lord of the Dance | Maekar the Maester | People's Queen | Prince Consort | Prince of Summerhall | Queen Mother | Queen of Nightingales | Red Queen | Rhaegar the Righteous | River Queen | Shiera Snowbird | Visneya the Victorious | Wolf Queen

More Terrible Fic Ideas

[abbatoirablaze]

Day Off, Sebastian Stan

Word Count: 790

You yawned, not wanting to open your eyes.  Halloween and Thanksgiving had passed way too fast for your liking and now the end of the year was closing in.  You had been far too busy with work to begin with, but now things were getting even harder to deal with at the management company you worked for, with everyone vying for the last big burst of holiday advertisements and roles. 

You needed to forget the world on your day off and had one idea of how. 

Reaching out, you hoped that your boyfriend was still in bed, but as your hand hit his side of the mattress you frowned, feeling how cool it was.

He must have had the opposite thought of you.

Sebastian was your everything, even if he was the exact opposite of you in every single way. 

He could take work with a laissez-faire demeanor and people loved him, while you busted your ass on and off the clock, with people still managing to be unhappy. 

He was on top of things at home, making sure the apartment was always extremely organized and cleaned, while you thrived in the chaos of your disorganized home office, which he would kindly shut the door to, because he knew that you preferred your mess.   

And he could smile through anything, while you constantly battled your demons. 

But he was your angel. 

Your everything.

Curling up, you sighed contentedly when you felt a familiar pair of lips grazing your temple.  His musky cologne wrapped around you, and you sighed once more, “You’re playing with fire, Mr. Stan.”

“Good,” he teased.  You felt the bed dip, and instinctively you shifted forward, making room for him.  You felt the cool air in the apartment quickly as he shifted beneath the covers to join you, and then the warmth of his body replacing it.  He pressed a series of kisses behind your ear, and started working down the back of your neck, while his hands worked their way under your clothes.  His warm, calloused hands grazed over the expanse of your stomach and you sighed contentedly again.  You felt his lips turning upwards in a smirk, “you know you can’t make those noises around me honey...not unless you want me to react.”

You felt him even before he said those words; his cock half hard and pressing against your rear, “Sebastian...”

“God, I love the way you say my name,” he purred softly against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine, “say it again, honey.”

“Sebastian!” you moaned, feeling his hand slipping up to your breast to cup it.  You gasped when his thumb slid over your nipple, the callous on the pad of it creating the slightest friction. 

“I love how easily you react to me!” he smiled, “it always puts me on top of the world.”

“I may put you on top of the world, but you are my world!” you promised, opening your eyes.

Your alarm ruined the moment. 

You felt him smiling against the back of your neck once again, and his hands fell down to your hip, “as much as I would love to continue this...we have to get up.”

“Shit...” you cursed, rolling over and reaching past him to grab your phone.  You turned off the alarm and tossed your phone behind you.  Sebastian was smiling softly at you as he looked into your eyes.  You nearly felt breathless as you admired just how the sun lit up his features.

“How did I ever get so lucky to end up with you?” you asked. 

His smile lit up the room even more, “I ask myself the same about you every morning I get to wake up with you.”

You couldn’t help but to crack a smile as you wrapped your arms around his neck, “so...what is the plans for today?  I know that you’ve probably already got them...”

“I made breakfast,” he admitted softly, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to your lips, “and after that, I figure we get dressed and head out for some shopping.”

“I don’t get paid unti-“

“I’m spoiling you today, honey...this isn’t about Christmas shopping...I just happen to wanna take my girlfriend out...during Christmas time and treat her like the queen that she  is.”

“And what if the only gift that I want is you?”

“You always have me, honey!”

“I love you, Sebastian.”

“I love you too, baby...” he smiled, kissing you yet again, “now....come get your cute butt out to the kitchen and let me show you the breakfast I made you...then we can get ready and go shopping...and after that, we’re meeting my parents for lunch.”

“Okay,” you sighed dreamily, “but it’s only because I love you!”

[kyufessions]

three a.m

synopsis: your boyfriend, jiseok, catches you crying in the middle of the night

pairings: boyfriend! jiseok x g.n. reader

genre: angst w/ a comforting ending

warnings: mention of mental illnesses (depression + anxiety), reader mentions suicidal thoughts

word count: 1.9k

requested?: yes, angst prompt #27 - “i wish i’d never met you”

general taglist: @jwnghyuns @eaudenana @soobin-chois

xdh taglist: @dreamylogy @tentenharuno

a/n: please read with caution and remember to talk to someone if you are ever feeling suicidal or your mental health is declining. mental health is very important and speaking does help relieve some of those pent up emotions. please remember your life does matter and life eventually gets better. also, my messages are always open for anyone and everyone. stay safe please. ♡

it was three a.m., your boyfriend was fast asleep in your shared bedroom as you sat outside in the living room with your knees to your chest and a fuzzy blanket engulfing your body in warmth. the only way to describe how you were feeling was numb both mentally and physically. life had been too much for you within the past three weeks, your coping mechanisms and ability to work through your negative thoughts slipping past you. you had been dating jiseok for ten months, every single moment spent together was better than the last. but you couldn’t help but feel bad for faking your smiles for the past few weeks, the depression eating you up inside.

you were the type of person to not open up easily, and jiseok knew that better than anyone. slowly but surely, you did start to open up about him. but not about your deep struggles that you only withheld for yourself and your journal, but rather things that only scratched the surface of your problems. although untrue, you felt as if your personal issues were too bothersome and if you opened up about them to someone, you'd only bring that person down with you. deep down you knew that wasn’t true, but you were also scared that if you did open up he would leave. convinced you had too much ‘baggage’, you just kept your feelings to yourself which was ultimately causing the decline of your mental health.

there you sat, head laid upon your knees as you stared at the naked white wall across from you with your back to the couch. mind wandering to places it shouldn’t at such an ungodly hour. inside your bedroom laid jiseok, half asleep as he goes to throw his arm over your waist to bring you closer to him but being met with an empty space. eyes fluttering open, he quickly realized you were not there and sat up against the headboard. although he figured you were just in the bathroom or getting more water, something inside him told him to get up and look for you.

listening to his intuition, he puts on his slippers and opens the bedroom door to walk straight to the bathroom. but in order to get to the bathroom you had to pass through the hallway that showed a view of the living room, so as he was walking he noticed the top of your head leaking out from the corner of his eye. calling out your name with no response from you, he walks fast towards where you’re sitting and calls your name out once more as he gets closer to you.

upon hearing your name, your head shoots up in his direction with instant worry washing over you. “jiseok, baby” you mumble, your voice cracking from all the silent sobs you’ve been releasing for the past two hours. “why're you awake? are you okay?” grabbing his hand, you pull him down to you and cup his face in your hands. why was he awake at this hour? he has practice in a few hours, he should be sleeping peacefully right now.

his hands cover yours, placing them in his lap as he intertwines your fingers together. “why're you crying? what’s wrong?” he releases his one hand from yours, bringing it to your eyes and swiping away drying tears. the puffiness of your eyes gives away that you’ve been crying for a while, and the cracks in your voice confirm that for him as well. jiseok has never seen you cry, not even tears of joy. so catching you like this was heartbreaking for him. why wouldn’t you want to cry in the comfort in his arms instead of isolating yourself in the living room at this hour?

you nod, avoiding eye contact as he questions you. “i’m fine. i’m just, thinking a lot is all.” you stand up, letting go of his hands temporarily before making grabby hands at the man sitting on the ground. “come on, you have an early practice tomorrow. let’s get you to bed, im sorry.”

shaking his head, he hops up to his feet and instantly grabs your hands once more. but instead of walking to your shared bedroom, he stays put in front of you. “whyre you sorry? you have nothing to be sorry for.”

you bite the inner part of your cheek, taking in a deep breath before responding to your loving boyfriend. “i wish i’d never met you, jiseok.”

hearing his own heart break, he lets go of your hands and starts walking away without a word. although aware of the confusing situation that was unraveling before him, he couldn’t help but hear his own heart break as he grabs a jacket and left the apartment. all you did was stand there, mentally cursing at yourself as tears fell from your eyes at a rapid pace. as your body fell onto the couch behind you, you grabbed the fuzzy blanket from the floor and wrapped it around yourself as you stared up at the ceiling.

before jiseok knew it, his feet had carried him to the convenience store down the road that always stayed open till five a.m. grabbing some ramen and a peach drink, he quickly assembled his food and sat outside in the spring weather. he took his time as he ate, wanting to not go back to the apartment too soon since he was still trying to swallow what you had admitted to him. was that your way of breaking up with him? were you trying to tell him something you’ve been dying to get off your chest? he didn’t know how to react, so all he did was leave. he didn’t want to yell, he didn’t know how to respond, so he thought leaving everything to marinate in his thoughts away from the situation was better.

an hour passed without a word from your boyfriend, the hour now nearing five a.m. as you realize how long it’s been with no return, your anxiety starts to sky rocket. assuming the worst, you quickly shove some sneakers on and grab the apartment keys. without a second thought, you start running towards the convenience store you both frequently visited. from a distance, you can make out his messy hair and bunny slippers from anywhere. as he heard someone running towards him, his head shot up to see you running at him in emoji pajama pants and an old bleached band tee with no jacket.

“jiseok, what the fuck!” you yell from a distance, stopping right in front of him as his eyes widen in surprise. “you can’t just leave like that and not say anything. especially at this hour, what if something had happened to you?” you go to place your hand on top of his but frown as he pulls it away.

“why do you care?”

baffled at his response, you take a step back as he continues to sit on the bench with his cup of cold noodles almost finished. “i’m your partner, why would i not care?”

no words, just a roll of his eyes as he stands up and throws away his cup of ramen and drink. before he can walk away, you grab his arm gently and turn him around to face you. “i get you’re upset for whatever reason, but that’s no excuse to say what you did. i was only trying-“

“i know, i know.” you sigh, feeling your throat start to close but ignoring it. now was not the time to cry, especially not in public. “i didn’t mean it in the sense that you’re thinking. just,” you start walking to an empty bench, jiseok following behind in confusion but ultimately deciding to hear you out.

as you take a seat beside him, you start to open up about everything you’ve been feeling. “i wish i never met you because i once im gone, i'm going to feel bad for hurting you.” on the last word your voice cracks, eyes glossing over as they move from his to the grass below your feet. “i’ve just been so mentally unwell lately that i don’t know what i'm going to do to myself. im scared that one day i'm just going to say that i’ve bad enough and, do something to myself.” you bring your hand to his, fingers shaking as you intertwine his fingers with yours. “and i don't want you to go through the pain of dealing with someone like me, jiseok. i don’t want you to hurt, you don’t deserve to hurt.”

as jiseok listens to each word, he continually swipes away any tears threatening to fall from his eyes. how could he have not noticed you feeling this way? how could he not have realized how much you were hurting? “why didn’t you tell me sooner, 자기야?”

he watches the tears from your eyes fall into the pavement below, the darkening stains increasing with each passing moment. “i have too much baggage, i didn’t want you to leave me for having too many personal issues.” you intake a deep breath before meeting his eyes, your heart breaking at the sight of his hurt facial expression. “you’re the only joy i have, i didn’t want to lose that. i’m sorry for what i said, i never meant to hurt you and i sure as hell didn’t mean it. but jiseok,” as you bring a hand to his cheek, you can’t help but let out a small yet silent sob before finishing your sentence. “i’m so scared to hurt you if i ever leave.”

watching you crumble into a sobbing mess, your boyfriend wastes no time in bringing you against his chest to allow you to sob into him. he wraps his arms around you tightly as he nuzzled his face in your hair, allowing a few tears to fall as he holds back sobs of his own. “i’m not going anywhere,” he says before placing a kiss to your temple, pulling you away to make you look at him. even with your puffy face and bloodshot eyes, he still thought you were the most beautiful human to exist. “and you’re not either, okay? i’m here now, and i’m not going anywhere.”

holding out his pinky, you watch as he interlocks it with yours and places a kiss on your knuckle. “i want you to come to me whenever you feel like this, okay? please? even if i’m at practice, call me or one of the guys if it’s urgent. i will always answer and come home to you in an instant.” feeling his own throat close up, you watch a few tears escape his eyes as he lets out a chuckle at his own vulnerability. “baby, you are the most important person to me in this entire universe. i would do anything to keep you alive, no matter what it takes.”

as you walked home hand in hand, you finally opened up to jiseok about how you have been feeling. you confessed about your past and how it’s affected you up until now, about your depression and anxiety. when you both finally got into bed, he waited for you to drift off to sleep in his arms before texting his bandmates he wouldn’t be making it in today, using the excuse he didn’t feel too well. as the clock struck six fifteen in the morning, he finally felt his eyes get heavy and fell asleep to the sound of your almost inaudible snores that he couldn’t wait to fall asleep to for the rest of his life.