#just outside Santa Barbara

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

Lagwagon - Brown Eyed Girl

[s-4pphics]

A/N: me vs writing what i’m supposed to aka moth aka vampire possession aka anyway here’s post santa barbara angst don’t ask questions im not really sure LOL

“You’re back.” 

Determined hands freeze in the dirt, the freshly watered daisies glistening under the beaming sun rays. Your soiled fingers halt all movement at the soft acknowledgment from behind. A sigh leaves your lips. 

“… I am.” 

An exhausted one, and it’s not from your strenuous labor in the garden. Your body refuses to turn, but holes burn in your spine, leaving behind lasered streaks of green. 

“Can you look at me?” Ellie pleads gently. The softest you’ve heard her be in months. 

What she doesn’t know is that you’ve been back. For a week actually, hiding out in other people’s homes throughout Jackson, assisting in places where Ellie’s least likely to go. The garden in particular; Pollen makes her sneeze. 

Time is vital and interesting; Dina left her and Ellie’s farmhouse with her son when you fled Jackson. She sought you out, but you weren’t there. You spent most of your time alone, walking, running, killing what you had to. Searched for peace, internal and external. The sight of the waterfall was worth the months-long trip. Your home is different now. Eerily quiet. The kids you helped teached to read don't play outside or laugh as often anymore. You hardly see Tommy or Maria around. Jesse is dead. Joel is dead. Dina isolates with JJ. Hugs him like she’ll die if she lets go. 

Ellie’s forever changed. The town’s forever changed, and you’ve finally accepted that it’s for the worse. 

“Is listening not enough?” 

Cordiality is beyond you. Spite is evident. Even the flowers can feel it. 

You tried to be patient, to coddle, to mourn and aid and tend. Sacrifice your own wellbeing for the sake of hers. You tried, Dina tried, Tommy didn’t but he did at the same time. Oddly, destructively, but in his own way. You blame him and don’t. Hate him and don’t. He’s violently and permanently scorned, but so are you. So is Ellie. She says nothing from behind you. You rise with a pop in your knees and an upturned lip. 

When you face Ellie, your knees wobble. Scarred: emotionally, physically, mentally. Permanently. Her eyes are more breakable than glass, the shattered hand that displays defeat hid shamefully behind her back. But her cheeks are fuller, no longer the hollow vacancies they were before she left. Maria was always on her back about finishing her meals. 

Grief is complicated. Hurt. Anger. The flowers wilt. Listening isn’t enough, and neither is sacrifice.

Ellie’s nose always twitches when she thinks. Your heart gives a sporadic pulse, but not enough to revive the shell you're trapped in. 

“I don’t want an apology from you.” 

She shakes her head, “I know.” 

“Then why are we talking?” 

Another twitch of her nose. She searches for something. “I—“

But then she flinches away from you, a bent arm coming up to cover her nose and mouth when she sneezes. A painful jerk thrums through your chest, but still not enough. 

“Bless you.” 

One more sneeze, but softer. A bit squeaky. Remnant of when you first met her at 13 and she followed you out to the greenhouse to watch you water the orange trees. 

“Thanks.” 

You nod stiffly. When she doesn’t say anything, you move to leave. Your work is done and she knows you’re back; There’s no point in being alone with her. 

Ellie doesn’t follow, but she does speak. 

“I’m trying.” 

You pause, one foot in front of the other. A doe learning how to walk for the first time. 

“I’m trying to be normal. I’m trying to be okay but it’s not working.” Her voice trembles.

You weren’t expecting a confession. Normal. An interesting use of the word. No one feels that anymore. 

“It probably won’t for a long time.” You state, just as quietly as she, “But if you stop trying, you’ll rot from the inside. If that’s what you want, then fine. But if not… That's all you can do now.” 

“Will we ever be okay?” 

‘We’ means many. ‘We’ means two. Your back’s to Ellie, but you can see her. Unmoving, but frantic. Her mind cranks at a million miles a minute. You feel her eyes on you. Too familiar. 

You’re not sure how to answer, so you don’t. You take one last look at her before you walk away. 

Flowers never look the same the next day. 

[octuscle]

Halloween Party - Warrior through cultural appropriation

Shit, Jeff thought, Halloween used to be just fun. Now it was first of all a huge effort to find the perfect costume, to shape your body to match the costume. And then you look so good that you would like to fuck yourself, then there are a couple of killjoys outside on the street in front of the Frat House, berating you because your costume is a cultural appropriation and a sign of digital imperialism. Shit, who even comes up with such bullshit terms? Today was about getting drunk, having fun. And at the end of the evening, to end up in bed with a hot guy. Halloween was not a lecture in sociology or ethnology or whatever the shit was called.

After he had removed the traces of the eggs that had been thrown at him, Jeff was ready for his appearance. He knew he was damn hot. He had an awesome body. His tattoos looked almost real. And in his shorts with the Hawaiian pattern, his cock was in joyful anticipation of the highlight of the party. Only in his head did he feel somehow… cloudy… One of the activists in front of the Frat House had sprayed a gas in his face. Jeff had thought it was pepper spray. But it was something completely different. It made him feel good. Like he had smoked pot. It was weird. But it was Halloween. No showing weakness now! He practically had a duty to party tonight. A guy asked him if he wanted a drink. Did Jeff know the guy… Seemed somehow familiar. But the guy was obviously a local. He replied that he didn't have a coconut milk. The guy laughed out loud and punched Heff in his impressive pecs. “Hey, costume of the day definitely goes to this guy. Coconut milk! I'm cracking up! And the guy even has the accent down pat.” At least that was what Jeff understood. English was not his mother tongue. Was it not? Or was it? Shit! And what was so funny about coconut milk? He loved coconut milk. Here everyone drank beer or some kind of mixed drinks. The stuff came from the white devils and was pure poison! Hoff collected a few glasses and took them to the kitchen.

“Ia ora na! What would you like to drink?” Honf didn't feel like partying anymore. Somehow he felt more comfortable at the bar. And here it was also easier for him to flirt with the hot guys from the fraternity. True, the guys asked him what he meant every other sentence. But that might not have been because of his French Polynesian accent. The guys were just drunk. And the music was loud. But the work was fun. And more than one guy had made it quite clear to him that they could meet later somewhere in a sheltered place. Poor white devils, he thought to himself. If only they had a rough idea of what kind of beast was hiding in his pants. They would probably have to throw up when they sucked on it. His cock twitched and became semi-erect in his pants.

His name is “Hone.” “Hone” means “warrior.” It's a good name. A buddy of his, whom he had met during his semester abroad at UCSB, was called “Jeff.” He had googled that. “Jeff” meant “God's peace.” A name for weaklings. Hone was no weakling. In Santa Barbara it was the middle of the night, here on Bora Bora the sun had not even set. The white devils were already drinking alcohol. Another sign of weakness. Hone made great cocktails. But he never drank anything himself except protein shakes and coconut milk. Not even on Halloween.

[astralnymphh]

𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬.

summary: you and ellie have been living on this farm for at least a year now, tucked in the towering mountains of wyoming and just a quaint trek from jackson. just you and her. you, her, the sun, and the moon. what could today entail? what makes this midsummer's day so special?

reader discretion advised: nsfw, mdni, proposal, picnic, somewhat proofread, sexual jokes, takes place before santa barbara, sucking on fingers(almost choking on them), fingering (receiving), almost-oral (receiving), dirty talk, doing the deed in nature. footnotes: word count (4.2k), masterlist, palestine masterpost, read this, written circa 2023. (hence the writing style change)

it's another day on the farm, yet like no other. it's harvest season, and your crops have got you cut out of your day and preoccupied. plucking fruit and tugging vegetables from the lavish soil in your garden with a certain ellie onlooking from your dusty oak porch. she's observing you in your most natural nature, tending to your art, the garden, and supplying you with a bountiful reaping of food for the inbound month.

there lay a tract of terrain beyond your fences, this beautiful pasture gilded in a magnificent solar ray every afternoon, and ellie's got an itching to bring you there today. with your knees sewn in the dirt surrounding a planter bed, wicker basket beside you and snapping blueberries off their stems, it's got you in a pretty tranquil state that doesn't include the awareness of ellie watching. so when dual warm hands plant on your biceps, it jolts you by instinct.

"how's the harvest babe?" ellie's silhouette looms over you and the berry bush, eyeing the pile of blueberries cradled in the basket, "looks good, when will you be done though, d'you think?" a smirk adorns her lips.

"umm.." your fingers pinch a lone berry, "I haven't gotten to the vegetables yet.." you remind her and yourself, rolling the navy berry between your fingertips.

ellie crouches behind you, "do you haaave to harvest everything now?" she whines, wrapping her lithe arms around your shoulders akin to a sloth and rocking you along with her see-saw motion.

"yes els, if you want food." a quaint giggle erupts from your chest. 

"but we have food, babe. our pantry is full of it." ellie attempts to coax you, voice pitching at the brink of her sentence. her lips brush the hairs on your nape and leave damp marks of adoration.

"did you come out here just to distract me?" your mouth creeps into a sheepish smirk, extending your hand out to pluck the last cluster of berries.

"you can tell me to stop." her pecks don't falter, dotting the length of your placid shoulders, "should I stop?" the question phases through you like a tantalizing breeze.

a melody thrums from your hum, eyes drifting closed in the blissfulness that is her velvety lips, puckering against your jawline and tickling your skin slightly with her hair. 

"els! that tickles.." you shrug your shoulder against your ear, nudging ellie's face off.

"so.. stop?" she reiterates and streams her steady palms down upon your hips.

you plant two cupped hands over her legs that now settle on both sides of you, whirling slowly to face her and furrowing your brows, "you're a menace. what happened to your little art project you started this morning?" 

"well, I saw my wife working outside and just had to join." she draws out an emphasis.

"wife? wife? we aren't married."

"not like we can have a wedding, so I just declare it." her lips resume to your neck, chafing that earthy auburn hair against your cheek.

"you didn't even propose or anything." 

"'chn ch-nge th-t." ellie's speech muffles in your collar, tender grips hugging the crests of your hips.

you don't catch her inaudible words, "huh?" you question, grasping the woven handle of your basket and returning it to your line of sight beside ellie's splayed leg.

"nothin'." her raspy voice clarifies as her head peeks up, melting foreheads and poking nose tips together.

you connect constellations dotting her cinnamon freckles with your eyes, trickling down and charting her coral lips. a smile tints yours, whispering, "what'd you wanna do today?"

"hmm?" her visage turns bumbled, "I never mentioned any-"

"you always bother me when y'want to do something.." you interrupt her, earning a hung-open-jaw look from her as she withdraws from your space.

she heaves, yet a cheeky nasal-lined smile summons on her midface, "you.. know that clearing in the woods, back there?" she juts her head in a vague direction, thumb swiping over her bottom lip.

you glimpse at the distant fence ellie points her head to and nod in understanding.

her hand lands on her thigh, "why don't we have a picnic there?" she offers, prodding your elbow with her raised knee.

"you trynna woo me, els?" you tease, easing your hand on her swaying knee.

"baabbee.." she whines, pleading for an answer that sounds a lot like 'yes'.

her whining casts a reminisce to this morning, you clawing your way out of bed, sorry, out of her locked embrace as you tried to prepare for the day. her tousled auburn hair buried in your chest, fingers drawing shapes on your back, pressing her bare torso against your side and begging for you to stay in bed.

"baabbbee.." her soft wail echoed.

"ellie, I gotta get up." her ardent skin was caressing yours and legs intertwined in a knot.

"nuh-uh, no you're not." ellie snorted and further tightened her bear hug to your demise.

"baby, we needa get out of bed, it's harvest day." you coaxed with a cherished kiss to her crown, weaseled only an inch from her before you got lulled back in.

her lengthy limbs, damn those things, can trap you well and remain unmoving. she only wore her nude toned underwear to bed last night, and you a lace panty. not a moment of your memory is blurred, in fact, what took place last night was well etched in your brain. ellie reeks of sex and so do you, she has traces of jasper red scratches on her back to prove it.

"need you babe.." she reaches for your furled hand, sowing soft and needy kisses on your knuckles.

you sighed and just gave up, curled your body with her and combed solace rows into her jumbled mullet.

"so, what do you say?" her voice in reality reels you in, breaking your chain of rememberance.

you take a gander at her features momentarily before deciding, "yes- sure, picnic sounds good." without hesitation.

"good, cause I'm fuckin' famished." ellie's face slants towards yours, her devious fingers slithering beside her, snatching up a blueberry and popping it in her mouth.

you spot this in your peripherals, "ey! don't eat my berries!" you chuckled.

"your berries? there's only one- two berries of yours that I know of, I'm actually quite acquainted-"

you lightly smack the silly smirk off her lips, fraudly disgusted by her immaturity, "you're so inappropriate!"

"not like anyone's gonna hear.." she ovalizes her lips and gusts the linear bang from her cheek.

"you're weird." you roll your eyes prior to standing up with the scratchy basket handle tucked in your elbow.

ellie follows suit, her hand wrapping and clutching yours loosely, "c'mon, I'll help you make the food." her stature stands a few inches above you, wriggling her bottom lip to the side in a crooked peculiar smile that invites those signature dimples to play.

you shun your pupils to the back of your head, giving her the once-over before pacing through the backdoor with her all giddy in hand.

the iridescent glade comes into view as you're strolling towards it, ellie adjacent to you equipped with a basket in hand and worn out bookbag on her back. you haven't ventured into the woods much after moving here, but with no signs of infected in months you simply deem it safe. she hasn't taken you out like this anyways, not for a while. the last time was her birthday, since it only occurs on special occasions, so why today?

ellie fashions a proud smile shrouded by you being slightly ahead of her, definitely holding hands but you're too thrilled to explore this parcel of forest to take notice. she wore joel's buckskin leather jacket over a plaid shirt, usual jeans with slits in them and sturdy brown boots.

"hurry up babe! I can see it already.." you exclaim with a bounce to your step, swinging her arm around to usher her feet swifter.

a laugh enchants her, "i'm right behind you.. the spots' not goin' anywhere." she assures you calmly trailing a chuckle, but inside, her heart is blooming with beats and sending shrills of tension through her nerves. her mind was up to something.

"it's right there!" you steam off a squeal of elation just seeing the open pasture. the grass is of a radiant jade shade, smothered in a divine ray of sun casting down on it, it looks like it came straight from elysian fields itself. you tear from ellie's hold and dash towards the glade with eagerness.

"babe!" ellie shouts but not without a following chuckle, adoring the pure felicity you expressed brought by this mere sight of nature. she trots after you with a bit of struggle from all the baggage she carried.

you halt just as you reach the center of the glade, staring at the trees surrounding and the canopy provided by their outstretching branches creating crown shyness, all with a bright beam spread across your lips.

ellie catches up with you and sets the basket on the ground, observing the space in detail, "y'want it right here?" she peels the bookbag from her shoulders and tosses it to the grass.

"mhm.." you pump your head in agreement and swivel away from her, admiring the spires of bark and fauna that look like they came from a painting.

she unzips the bag in one swoosh, yanking out a slightly frayed, faded and old beige cotton blanket with little embroidered florals along the hem. ellie dusts it off and thrashes out all the crinkles, laying it flat against the earth and smoothing out all the ripples.

you tilt your head over to witness her squatting down, pulling various objects from the bag and hesitating before she places them down. she appeared to be deep in thought, decorating the empty canvas of a blanket like it was important to her.

ellie's forehead tauts, an arrangement of fine china at her feet, "does this plate look better here.. or here?" her voice chromatically turns gravelly.

"it looks good anywhere.."

"yeah- but I want it to look perfect for you." 

"..." you stare with an amused grin.

"hmm, what's so funny?" she coos and hones her focus on you while carefully tossing the plate to one corner of the blanket.

"just you.. you're goofy." you comment with a dim-witted smile.

her gaze narrows and bares her teeth in a matching dumb smirk, tutting her head, "you wanna see goofy?" she challenges you and crawls closer.

"no, I wanna see a set-up picnic. don't get distracted." you tease and parry her with a nudge from your foot resting on her collarbone.

"tch, okay- okay." she leans back on her heel, hastily creating the idyllic picnic with your help. 

soon, you're cuddling between some small pillows, bowl of dark rosewood cherries to your right and a knitted blanket draped over your bodies. 

ellie lies beneath you, her legs cradling yours and advancing her fingers to the bowl of delectable cherries. she picks one up and hovers it above your lips, beckoning you to bite it. 

"what d'you mean we can't get more sheep?" she wheezes a whimsical laugh, chest jittering underneath your back.

"we already have a dozen, babe." you sink your teeth into the cherry and yank it from the stem, juices oozing over the hill of your chin.

"i have more names for them in mind!"

"you can't even get the names of our current sheep right." 

she flicks the leftover stem into the patch of grass, "uh- yes I can!" she scoffs and jossles her woody auburn locks up a bit.

"sure babe." you goggle.

you allow the conversation to diminish in peaceful serenity, before raising the interrogation, "why'd you bring me here today?" you shuffle atop her, jabbing her palm to keep feeding you. you're spoiled.

ellie snickers and leverages her hand towards the bowl once again, dangling a cherry from between her fingertips. her throat gritts harshly as she clears it, "i.. have something to show you.." her tone lingers on the vowels.

"oh?" a hint of subtle enthusiasm curls in your voice, "got me a present?"

"you'll see, just- get up." she heaves you upwards and hops onto her feet alongside you.

you clasp hands behind your back, a bit of a bumbled facade shadowing your expression when she just stands still like a statue. "umm.. is it not a present?"

"turn around." her lips curve into a mischievous glint across those pretty rosy lips.

"what the fuck are you gonna pull-"

"turn around!" ellie's grin broadens as she gestures to you to spin 'round on your heel, eliciting a dorky giggle from you.

you cave in and twirl on the tip of your shoe, mindlessly gazing heavenward to the scattered wisping clouds.

"you remember the day we started dating?" her voice flows past you, seeming to erupt from a lower stance like she was crouched.

"uh, vaguely." 

this bestows a throaty chuckle from ellie, "and you remember what I gave you when I.. confessed?" 

"yeah, you gave me bent daisies that you tore from the poor ground." you bash her, one brow inclining up your head.

"i'm not a botanist." she nicks the rear of your ankle, shambling against the fabric-veiled grass.

a tingle sprints up your leg at this contact, making you shy away from it slightly. a specter of stillness corrodes the air, so you perk, "can I turn now?"

"yes." ellie's speech trembles yet is laced with certainty, planting a seed of curiosity in your noggin.

you teeter over slowly like a creaking wheel, pupils hastening down to materialize ellie in your mind, propped by a knee, the other raised, pinching a tiny flock of daisies with their honey pistils staring back at you. her face bruising of an apple hue to her skin behind those sun specks, her verdant rings peering from those lashes and a brazen half-moon to her strawberry lips. they part as the realization begins to plague you,

"will you be my wife?"

your body goes hollow and nerves wrack up in shock, an elusive beam of emotions vibrate in your heart and collide your shaken knees to the blanket. a hand quivers against your mouth, the words stolen from you. the love just boils over.

"els- i.. i.." the boulder in your throat clogs, managing to swallow it up and brim you with warm tears, "yes.. yes!"

she practically springs up and coalesces with you, arms wrapped around you and elevating you off the ground with blazing elation. you feel her wide smile plastered against your lips as they make merry, smoothing out to drag her lips over yours in a fervid kiss.

she parts, "no ring but.. we don't need that, right?" 

"mhm, don't need it.." you sever your weight from your feet to her, sticking close, "I love you.. so much." 

"love' you too baby.." she hankers down and sits criss-cross in front of you, easing you into her splayed lap. "now i can call you my wife."

"should we have our own little wedding? just us, like, as if it's some ritual or.. stating our vows or.. handfasting and declaring our love before empty seats.." you ramble nonsensically, assuming it just whooshes right over ellie's head.

"we have our picnic here," she opens her arms to signify the space around you, "we can tie that all up here, including the honeymoon!"

"hmm, 'weird that you mention the honeymoon. I think you said that so it happens now."

"no! I'm just.. throwing stuff to see what sticks.." she diffuses a dumb visage, knitting her brows together.

"i think you wanna get a fuck on in the forest." you leer in your suspicions and creep over her body till' she meets back to ground.

"and if you guess right? would you?" her demeanor shifts to boot a seductive one.

ellie still had some drive in her, even to last night's depictions. the way her lean vein lined arms are still pumping with detectable lust, yearning for your body in ways that should be bound to the bedroom only, but she doesn't give a fuck. she needs to fuck. a fucking given to her. 

"fuck yes I will." you grind your pelvis longingly on her thigh, kneading your confined bud in one long swipe, a good start-up.

not an inhale later and ellie already has her jacket reeled off by the sleeves, a series of stripping set in motion when her shirt's buttons get popped one by one.

you follow through with one sweep of your top over your crown, tethering the bare skin surrounding your bra to the midsummer breeze, giving you a hare of raised bumps that are quickly cured by ellie's ardent skin adjoining yours. 

her lips suture themselves to your plender gap, lapping at the groove of your collarbone delicately while her keen hands roam your legs, squeezing the soft plush padding of your inner and outer thigh with her fingers.

"I'm gonna make you feel.. s'fuckin' good.." she whispers in hushed mists of heat, sanguineous nibbles forging up your chin and gluing your lips together in a lustful frenzy.

"I need you ellie.. now.." you intone against her captivating lips and take hold of her wrist, guiding it to cusp your bra-clad breast.

"so bold of you.." she rewards a praise, tucking her nimble fingers behind the clasp of your bra and pinching it free. her hands tug the straps from your arms and whisk them away to some unknown plot of grass. 

the course of wind grazes past your nipples, making you shiver. you watch her pupils dilate at the sight of your two perky buds reacting to the breeze.

"mm- fuck.. love these." ellie's mouth latches to one of your breasts, suckling the nipple lavishly with a damp suction and playing the other one like a flip-switch lightly with her thumb.

the barely-there feeling of her thumb summons a flurry of carnal want in your core, preluding to your now lubricious panties sopping for physical attention. this seeps through and forms a miniscule spotting on your inseam.

the hand that still had a gripe on your thigh fleets to your crotch, distinguishing this faint blot of wetness, welcoming a proud smirk to dent her midface, "fuckin' wet already.." her voice rasps hauntingly, "gonna get my fingers all pruney.." 

you chafe in desire against her stationary digits, making her snatch them away and repel your pelvis with a push.

"nuh-uh, pants off first."

her face displaces from your hanging breasts, creasing the blanket back up and crunching the grass to gaze back at you. she peruses your zipper and deftly unfastens it to pull your pants down with a might. once they're off, her hands zip into the underside of your knees, flipping you over and mountaineering over you with an undeniable hunger in her manner.

"ellie!" an entranced giggle beams from your throttle, low-key turned on by the daring action.

"god, really soaked these huh?" her voice flows in a higher pitch, referring to your ocean-drowned underwear.

"yeah.. you did that.." 

"mhmmm~” she vocalizes behind shut lips, “don't think I even need to remove 'em to taste you.." 

you witness her descending into the depths between your legs, biting down her cushiony lips and nearly salivating at the front-row seat view to your sobbing cunt. her own arousal starts to stain her own panties and even little riffs of repressed whimpers vibrate from her lips. she graces you with one pour-over before smashing her mouth against your clothed slit, puffing a humid cloud over your entrance and licking up the seeped puddle of slick.

you jerk in sudden sensation, "babe! oh~ fuck!"

"yup, tastes so fucking good." she's like a beast to your crotch, slathering the soiled fabric with even more wetness likes she's fucking starving. her forehead is taut and eyebrows flit in concentration, you can already hear the eulogy ringing for your soon destroyed pussy.

your fingers nest in her hair, massaging and stamping into her scalp at the pure feeling of her tongue, you need her in indescribable ways, "need your fingers ellie.. need u're.. need.." you chant in fleeing breaths.

she grumbles in swelling arousal and unlatches from your puffy slit, brazen giggle chilling her throat at the sight of your avidness.

she huffs, "kay, gonna take these off.." ellie anticipates the moment she gets to stuff your pretty pussy to the brim, drowsy eyes never drifting from the lace concave between the valley of your lips. she slews those panties off instantly and brings them down to your ankles, making sure they'd never be found among the meadow around you.

you spread your legs for her sights to soak in, burgeoning a redness to her face like time and time again, a satisfied grin tugging the corners of her lips.

she sticks two ready fingers in her mouth, moistened them up, "gonna make you see stars, hmm babygirl?" 

you gnaw your lips inwards at her affirmation, eyeing the route her hand takes from mouth to lower regions, forking your slit open and running them clit to hole, hole to clit, repetitively. this coats her digits in a glistening film of your arousal, visibly pleasing her.

"mm- that fucking sound.." the parting of your drenched folds entices her ears like a melody, "hear that baby?" ellie's voice chimes in a honeyed whisper.

"yes.. yes.." your essence shudders in her thrall, vulnerability afflicted by your neediness.

ellie beholds your figure in one final glance before aiming on your center and jamming duo digits in your aching pussy that vacuums her up with the help of your dripping nectar overflowing at the base of her knuckles. you wallow in the gratifying gauge she has brought you to, a fluxing whine tinting your tongue.

"good girl.. taking my fingers in so nicely.."

you contract around her, letting her know how much those words truly thrill you and she rebounds by thrusting her fingers in and out of you at a sluggish pace.

your jaw quivers open in the whirling ecstasy that begins to dribble into your void brain strictly honed on the pumping motion of her willowy fingers.

"hmm.." a visualization prompt in her noggin convinces a plan to unravel by her hand snailing to your mouth, luring it ajar, "open babe." 

you obey with moving lips, flattening the plateau of your tongue beneath her fingers.

"like this don't you? mm- fuck." ellie grunts seeing you engulf her paired index and middle in your warm mouth without a gloom of delay splitting your will. her other fingers meddle with the crux of your delight, sloshing with every insert of her lengthy fingers piping you.

"oh my heaven on eart- auck.." a spastic cough tickles your throat around her digits.

"just suck baby.. just suck." 

you resolve your words and pucker your lips down, swirling your tongue around her still fingers. muffled vibrations of moans string out around them, rattling your teeth.

each flick of her skilled wrist occurs in short breaks, meanwhile pumps hasten inside of you, thumb unfurling to patten down your clit in rigid circles. she coos, "gonna cum on my fingers?" in reply to your writhing contentment.

"fast- fhster.." you shear your chords forcing a plead on fingers narrowly itching the back of your gullet.

"awhh, u're such a mess." her hand forceps your jaw, locking her fingers wedged between your front teeth.

"guh- mmmm!" your body shrivels in unfathomable bliss and an inbound phantom orgasm overwhelming your senses.

ellie starts snapping her hand at an aggressive velocity that slaps against your swollen folds with wet smacks striding the open air, scrunching her nose up at the sheer speed she’s going.

"cum baby- cum.." 

"I- ahh.."

"soak my fuckin' fingers, soak them in that pretty fucking pussy." she encourages in husky mewls, finger pads jostling your g-spot in a rhythm that drugs your mind with numbness, repeating, "cum for ellie.. cum for me.." 

you swear your walls convulse prior to tightening up like a wringed towel and releasing a stinging orgasm upon you, growling on her fingers still present on your tongue.

"ghnnnn.. fck!" you curl up in pleasure and screw your eyes shut. this orgasm hits you like a bullet train and it shows in practice, clawing and digging your mark on ellie's available wrist with clamoring wails from the sanctum of your chest.

"yeah? so fucking hot.." she notes to herself in a low navelly tone, slipping her sticky fingers out trickling in your juices.

you chase your breath stranded in another galaxy, "can't feel my.. legs.. fuck, ellie, where'd you come from?" you quip in emphasis, face still beating red like a volcano.

"from boston, precisely." she sneaks in a dorky response.

"shut up.." you knock on her head with your foot, gasping when she grabs it and plants it on her shoulder.

she bucks her hips into your ass, squeezing her torso between the basin of your legs, levitating overhead. there's a solace moment of a love-staring-contest casting those green circlets infused with devotion and appreciation. staring back up into those eyes assures you, she's home, she's heaven and she's never leaving you. although, ellie, like the freak she is, breaks the innocent moment, "think this'll continue in the bedroom?." she peppers a solemn kiss to your forehead hazed in underlying intention.

"probably, knowing you."

"knowing me what?"

"you know." 

"I don't."

"ellie!"

"we'll find out, hmm?"

[reasonsforhope]

"On a blustery day in early March, the who’s who of methane research gathered at Vandenberg Space Force Base in Santa Barbara, California. Dozens of people crammed into a NASA mission control center. Others watched from cars pulled alongside roads just outside the sprawling facility. Many more followed a livestream. They came from across the country to witness the launch of an oven-sized satellite capable of detecting the potent planet-warming gas from space. 

The amount of methane, the primary component in natural gas, in the atmosphere has been rising steadily over the last few decades, reaching nearly three times as much as preindustrial times. About a third of methane emissions in the United States occur during the extraction of fossil fuels as the gas seeps from wellheads, pipelines, and other equipment. The rest come from agricultural operations, landfills, coal mining, and other sources. Some of these leaks are large enough to be seen from orbit. Others are miniscule, yet contribute to a growing problem.

Identifying and repairing them is a relatively straightforward climate solution. Methane has a warming potential about 80 times higher than carbon dioxide over a 20-year period, so reducing its levels in the atmosphere can help curb global temperature rise. And unlike other industries where the technology to decarbonize is still relatively new, oil and gas companies have long had the tools and know-how to fix these leaks.

MethaneSAT, the gas-detecting device launched in March, is the latest in a growing armada of satellites designed to detect methane. Led by the nonprofit Environmental Defense Fund, or EDF, and more than six years in the making, the satellite has the ability to circle the globe 15 times a day and monitor regions where 80 percent of the world’s oil and gas is produced. Along with other satellites in orbit, it is expected to dramatically change how regulators and watchdogs police the oil and gas industry...

A couple hours after the rocket blasted off, Wofsy, Hamburg, and his colleagues watched on a television at a hotel about two miles away as their creation was ejected into orbit. It was a jubilant moment for members of the team, many of whom had traveled to Vandenberg with their partners, parents, and children. “Everybody spontaneously broke into a cheer,” Wofsy said. “You [would’ve] thought that your team scored a touchdown during overtime.”

The data the satellite generates in the coming months will be publicly accessible — available for environmental advocates, oil and gas companies, and regulators alike. Each has an interest in the information MethaneSAT will beam home. Climate advocates hope to use it to push for more stringent regulations governing methane emissions and to hold negligent operators accountable. Fossil fuel companies, many of which do their own monitoring, could use the information to pinpoint and repair leaks, avoiding penalties and recouping a resource they can sell. Regulators could use the data to identify hotspots, develop targeted policies, and catch polluters. For the first time, the Environmental Protection Agency is taking steps to be able to use third-party data to enforce its air quality regulations, developing guidelines for using the intelligence satellites like MethaneSAT will provide. The satellite is so important to the agency’s efforts that EPA Administrator Michael Regan was in Santa Barbara for the launch as was a congressional lawmaker. Activists hailed the satellite as a much-needed tool to address climate change. 

“This is going to radically change the amount of empirically observed data that we have and vastly increase our understanding of the amount of methane emissions that are currently happening and what needs to be done to reduce them,” said Dakota Raynes, a research and policy manager at the environmental nonprofit Earthworks. “I’m hopeful that gaining that understanding is going to help continue to shift the narrative towards [the] phase down of fossil fuels.”

With the satellite safely orbiting 370 miles above the Earth’s surface, the mission enters a critical second phase. In the coming months, EDF researchers will calibrate equipment and ensure the satellite works as planned. By next year [2025], it is expected to transmit reams of information from around the world."

-via Grist, April 7, 2024

[theurgists]

⋆｡‧₊°♱༺ THE WAY WE USED TO ༻♱༉‧₊˚.

ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: after ending things on a sour note with ellie before seattle, the both of you haven't spoken since her return, and a less-than-unexpected relationship with dina . she manages to slip away once again, this time leaving you with nothing but the memory of her. third time's a charm, right?

warnings: post-santa barbara, angst, talk of trauma, the usual deep dives when it comes to tlou2, not proof-read

a/n: kinda missed writing for ellie lowkey, my baby deserves the entire world and much more. another part is for sure in the works, maybe even two?? also my asks are open ;) i'd be very grateful if you guys would send some stuff! enjoy around 5k words of angst <3

There was once a time when the feeling of contentedness devoured you whole — swallowing you pleasantly. Its teeth were sharp, jaw wide — unhinged as it grabbed you with flexing, greedy fingers, tossing you into the warmness of vulnerability. Once you were in, the euphoric feeling would start at the tips of your toes, expanding throughout your body slowly.

You could remember how it would scratch a particular itch in your brain, soothing every worry lingering in your dreary mind's dark corners. In truth, it was a way to escape the endless violence, to relieve the throbbing pressure that had your heart aching within the confines of your chest, behind brittle human bones that were supposed to protect you from harm — but it did nothing to stop her from leaving. You had etched it into the stubborn tissue that took refuge within your skull even if you went down on your hands and knees, she just didn’t find it in her heart to be with you.

Those walls you had spent your entire existence fortifying with your blood, sweat, and tears had all been for nothing. Absolutely nothing.

 You had foolishly taken the monster of aliveness for granted, and he had taken his sweet time crushing you, breaking your fragile bones within seconds.

He had won. 

With the unforeseen defeat, you found yourself wanting to expel her from your mind. Her musky, wood-burned scent, the crinkle of her nose, the light rose blush that would decorate the apples of her cheeks, and the wringing of her hands when faced with uncomfortable situations. 

Those little things were what you’d remember; nights when the rare sight of dewed grass would tickle your nose hairs. Jeans damp from the small droplets of rain resting atop blades of deep green seas, wet hands snaking through soggy soil to entwine with hers in secrecy. Those were moments when love had made itself known within you, albeit a foreign feeling you embraced with mass hesitance. 

Foolish girl — you were merely a child. A child who selfishly put herself aside to care for another when she could barely care for herself. 

You see, that was the issue with you. You never knew when enough was enough.

Maybe that’s why she had given little to no thought about ever uttering a single word to you in almost three years.

With your jaw clenched, you ground your teeth together, tightening your grip on the pen as you pressed down on the tattered, yellowing piece of paper with arising anger. You were struggling. 

Your lack of presence in the outside world and limited interaction with others could attest to that. It wasn’t as if it was your intention. Human interaction seemed to drain you lately, and so you found yourself hunched over the wooden pine desk located near a window to the right of your bedroom, a withering chair accompanying the depressing set-up. Glancing upward, you rapidly blinked, lashes fluttering against the deep bags under your eyes as you reached your hand toward your face. 

There was a dull throb behind your lids as you rubbed your palms against them, ridding your eyes of any trace of lingering tiredness as you opened them soon after, pupils adjusting to the rays of clouded sunlight bleeding through the thin material of the curtains.

With a deep sigh, you curled your fingers around the leather cover of your journal, the digits on your other hand snatching the nearly broken pen away from its place wedged between smeared ink. Slamming it shut, you slid it aside, biting the inside of your cheek as a means to snap yourself out of the deep hole taking refuge in the foreground of your mind. 

It was an endless abyss of numbness, laying awake at night with the sheets tucked around your waist, eyes focused on the darkness of the ceiling as you tried to suppress the sudden blur that tried to overtake your vision. There was a certain sadness lingering within you, and it spread as if it were sugar water injected into your veins.

Scratching the back of your right ear, you lifted yourself from your hunched position, back aching from the time spent madly scribbling your scattered thoughts onto an ancient sheet of paper.

You’d have to stop obsessing over it eventually. This wasn’t a healthy way of thinking about things.

Pursing your lips, your bare feet padded against the maple hardwood of the floor, guiding you into the tight kitchen space occupying the small one-story home that you called your own. Shivering at the sudden rush of cold air that seeped through your pores, you pulled on the fridge door, spotting a glass jar half full of milk. Maria had given it to you just three days prior, hoping to coax you out of the house and over to the Tipsy Bison for a drink.

You had adamantly refused, telling her that you knew those weren’t her exact intentions with you, and by the look that she threw in your direction from the doorway, you were right.

She was a gentle-hearted woman with a tough exterior and a shielded heart. And although it was something she wouldn’t part her lips to say aloud, you reminded her of herself back when she was navigating through looming death and betrayal peeking behind every corner. It bared its teeth as if it were the predator, and you were the prey; open and unaware. 

Placing your lips against the cool rim, you leaned your head back, gulping the rush of liquid, focusing on the way it glided down your throat and into your stomach, satisfying your thirst and easing a quarter of your heart all in one. 

Darting your eyes around the area, you settled on the scenery through the single window, paying close attention to the individual bright greens of leaves that swayed in the light wind, the sun low on the horizon, a mix of blues and light orange hues painting the sky in watercolors.

Ripping your eyes away from the tempting scenery, you took in a breath of stale air, enveloping yourself in the comfort of the surrounding silence as you frowned deeply to yourself, index finger tracing the rim of the glass. Setting the short cup in the sink, you lifted your head once more, outstretching your arms to grab at the edges of the counter as you leaned forward.

Narrowing your eyes, the rusty gears in your head worked on overdrive to make out the figure walking past your window — shadow visible to you thanks to the angle of the lowering sun. 

Your worrisome face formed even more creases if possible, contorting your face in such a pained way that it felt as if you were stabbed in the side, right between the ribs. Gulping the maturing lump in your throat, you slowly made your way to the chipped wood of the front door, standing a mere four feet from it. 

With three quick knocks sounding from the other side followed by a clearing throat, you nearly deflated at the muffled voice on the other side of the door. It was tired, low, and gruff, struggling. 

“Hey kiddo, I know you’re in there. I saw you from the window.”

Rolling your eyes as far back as they could go, you cocked your head to the side, puffing out your cheeks before blowing out a dramatic breath. The coolness of the metal knob against the clammy heat oozing from your palm soothed you for only a moment as you twisted your wrist — coming face-to-face with the short-haired man. 

His locks were glossy, shining in natural oils, giving him a temporary unappealing look that paired well with the rest of his appearance. Crossing your arms over your chest, you unashamedly lowered your gaze to his disheveled clothing, noticing just how wrinkled his plaid button-up shirt was — the first three undone as if he had looped the rest of them through holes in a rush. 

“You look like shit.” 

Clicking his tongue on the roof of his mouth, he balanced most of his weight on his right leg, “Well hello to you, too.”

 Pulling the skin of his lips back, he grimaced from the slight pain that jolted through his left. 

Furrowing your brows in concern, your legs automatically moved to his side, lifting his arm and gently placing it over your shoulder, helping him hobble inside, away from the buzzing flies in the warm, summer air. 

“You need to take it easy, Tommy.” You mumbled, slowly guiding him to the kitchen and plopping him down onto one of the creaky wooden chairs backed up against the scuffed white of the walls. 

Waving one of his calloused hands, he waved you off, muttering something under his breath before he sighed loudly, scanning his one eye around your messy space. “Now don’t get your head all twisted. I ain’t nothing worth worrying about.” 

Frowning, you pulled out the other chair from its place tucked near the small, circular table and slowly eased yourself down, leaning back, crossing one denim-clad leg over the other.

 “Says you. Someone needs to keep an eye on you, old man. Especially now, since you like to perform your little disappearing acts once and a while.” 

You watched as he parted his lips to speak, pressing them thinly right after, scoffing in slight annoyance. “You stalking me or somethin’?” 

The corners of your lips curled, a lop-sided smile sneaking its way to your mouth. “I have better things to do with my time —”

“— Sure don’t look like it.”

“ — Okay, anyways. No, I don’t stalk you. You’re a grown man with grays and a gait. I doubt you can get very far.” 

Cocking his head back in faux hurt, he put a shaking hand over his heart. “You’ve been underestimating my abilities to move despite my age. This conversation is a prime example.”

Rolling your eyes for the second time, you lowered your head, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Did you just come here to insult me, or was there something you needed?”

Any traces of playfulness twinkling in his dead eyes diminished as he sat there, searching through the mess in his brain for the correct words to say to you. Your kindness was something he was less than deserving of, and it was something he was very aware of as he stared at your hunched frame, defeated and small. 

“I - I know anything else I say to you won’t make it easier —” he started, coming to a halt at your startling interruption. 

“ — I don’t need you to start mindlessly talking to me about it.” You spat, glancing up at him through your lashes, head still aimed toward the floor, eyes following the patterns of the grimy tile. “I already told you that I was still beyond pissed.” 

Furrowing your brows, the flood of frustration boiled over, as if it were a pot of water on high heat. “How ignorant are you? To send someone on your fucking revenge mission because you had no way of doing it yourself. I can’t forgive you for doing that to her.”

Nodding his head, he outstretched his bad leg, wincing as he did so, the heel of his boot connecting with the floor with a ‘thud’. His curt nod wasn’t in understanding, it was in regret of not finishing the job sooner, back when he had the capabilities to do so.

It was a laughable situation considering the severity of it. He‘s lost his eye, his ability to walk normally, the warmness of his heart, his brother, and his sanity — but still consumed with a fury so deep, that it permanently rattled his soul. 

Without a second thought, he spoke again, tapping the pads of his dirt-covered hands onto the grass-stained denim of his jeans. “Now, hold on a minute. I’m not asking for your forgiveness. I’m just asking ya to understand.’

“There’s nothing else to understand, Tommy. She’s not coming back. No matter how many times you sneak out of Jackson and pray to whatever the fuck you believe in that things would’ve ended on your terms.” 

Scrunching your nose, you turned your head to the side, not wanting him to see the tears threatening to spill onto your heated cheeks.

 “She’s not fucking coming back here. I appreciate your constant reassurance throughout these past couple of months but it’s not doing anything for me.”

Rubbing your wet hands on the rough texture of your jeans, you lifted yourself from your position, wiping furiously at your puffy lids with the back of your hand. “I think we’re done here. You should go.”

Giving him no time to respond, you quickly scurried over to the door, pulling it open to let in a rush of warm air that did little to decrease the number of goosebumps dotted on your skin. Despite the blurriness of your vision, you eyed him cautiously as he struggled to lift himself, slowly limping over and out to the creaky, dented wood of the porch. 

“There’s a bonfire tonight… I know the time isn’t right but you’ve been cooped up inside here for a month. Everybody wants to see you there.” 

Lifting a hand, you circled the pad of your thumb around the shape of your lips — a habit to distract yourself from thinking about her. 

God, think about anything else but her. Please.

“Uh - I don’t know.” Without waiting for a reply, you shut the door right in his face, the frame rattling from the force, an echo from the sound the only thing keeping you company.

But as it faded to silence, you were back with your thoughts, left to wallow in self-pity. 

You were alone. 

And that’s how it was always going to be.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Flickers of orange ember lifted upward - curling themselves around lingering smoke. It easily dispersed in the thick surrounding air, transforming into nothing as you blinked, vision blurred from the harsh burn of the blackening, ashed wood that sat upon muggy soil. 

Droplets of water from earlier rainfall reflected in the sun, perfectly placed on vibrant green tree leaves.

 The scent of wet grass and damp earth made you sniff lightly. Your nose scrunched, left hand moving near your nostrils to wipe at it with the elongated sleeve of your thin sweater. 

With the flesh of your lips pulling back, a pained expression crossed over the muscles in your face, the rough material stinging the skin right under your nose - above your upper lip. 

You weren’t crying. 

That was something you had tried to convince yourself for the thousandth time in the past half hour as you stared ahead at the flames of the small fire that had been started just an hour ago.

There was already a small pile of ashes, just about an inch or so, being carried by a gentle breeze that would occasionally appear.

Secretly, you were thankful for the gust of wind seeping through the small holes embedded in your shirt and slowly easing its way to your skin, chilling the heat oozing off every crevice of your being. Gripping the tiny, tin cup in your left hand, your fingers bent around the handle - almost unnaturally as the blood drained from your knuckles, leaving them sore.

After a long debate with yourself in the foreground of your mind, you had taken Tommy up on his offer for some fresh air. The decision wasn’t as hard as you were making it out to be despite wanting nothing more than to crawl back under the comfort of your sheets. You needed this. You needed to get out of your house and socialize with people who were - hopefully - still your friends albeit the large lack of communication.

It wasn’t as if you were expecting them to understand - it was quite the opposite. You weren’t in the position to assume that they’d be able to take the time and make sure that you were okay, despite the amount of grief you were going through. The sadness, the sudden anger, a dimming spark within you. It was all something that you had to deal with yourself.

Although you kept yourself hidden behind cracking walls and a dust-collecting shell of space, it was obvious.

You were an open book. You fucking hated it.

Out of all the things you could dislike and disregard about yourself - about who you are as an individual forced to kill — one single thing always stuck — the small amount of hope that fluttered in your chest cavity. 

It was strong, and that kept you up at night, back pressed against your springy mattress, eyes wandering around the cracked foundation of the ceiling, finding something  —  anything that would slowly ease away the lingering numbness within you.

“Hey, you okay there?” Blinking rapidly, you cocked your head to the right, coming face to face with Dina whose face had morphed into one of concern.

Her left arm was wrapped around JJ’s midsection, the leg she propped him on bouncing up and down to eliminate his sudden fuss. Quirking your lips at the corners, you smiled lopsidedly, pressing them into a thin line after a small nod. 

“Yeah… just thinking.” 

The look she gave you was enough to have your left arm raised, uneven fingernails hovering over the nape of your neck as you divert your gaze to a tiny pebble under the sole of your right shoe.

You leaned to one side as she playfully bumped her shoulder with yours, cooing at her son as soon as he started to mindlessly babble to himself. 

“Thinkin’ about what?” Her lips were pulled back, pearly whites on display as she darted her eyes around the area.

You lifted your shoulders, dropping them a couple of seconds after in a shrug, eyes still glued to the pebble near your foot as if it was somehow going to come to life and walk away from you. 

Clearing the non-existent lump in your throat, you shook your head from side to side, gliding your thumb across your nose, sniffling lightly. “I don’t think you’d wanna know. You seem pretty happy right now.”

Awaiting a response, JJ’s babbles filled the tension-filled silence, the crackle of the small fire accompanying his rants as well as the muffled conversations taking place around you. Her brows furrowed, her bottom lip being tugged between her teeth as she swallowed thickly. She understood what you meant. How could she not? She knew you still love Ellie in the same way she does.

Nothing could change that.  As strong and resilient as Ellie was — always a fighter — she wasn’t immortal. It was a realization that had smacked you across the face as soon as Dina had come back in shambles, expressing how Ellie’s need for revenge took away the last bit of sanity she had left.

 At first, she’d lay awake at night with JJ sleeping soundly beside her, making sure to keep a spot on the bed big enough just in case Ellie somehow managed to find her way back home. So she’d have the touch of something familiar against her skin, and breathe in the scent of clean linen and soft pillows.

She was struggling.

With pressure building behind her eyes, Dina bit the inside of her cheek, not quite knowing what to do with the constant thoughts buzzing in her frontal lobe, swarming like bees in a hive as she stared at the side of your face, eyes twinkling with empathy. She knew you had some sort of hope that Ellie was out there, she did too.

“Y’know…” She trailed off, mouth opening and closing as she searched for the right words. “I used to think it was the end of the world - not having her here I mean. I got so used to a routine with her that I thought she made peace with letting her go.”

Momentarily closing your eyes, you took a sip of whatever was in your cup to soothe the dryness in your throat, a frown forming on your lips soon after, a small breeze causing you to breathe shakily. 

You remembered your earlier conversations with Tommy a couple of months after he returned from Seattle. He had told you that Ellie and Dina had up and left Jackson to go live on some farm a good bit away. This honestly came as a surprise to you because it seemed somewhat out of character for her, but then again, you never really know someone when you think you do.

He had told you all about his journey to Seattle; who and what he encountered. It was odd. A once well-composed, calm, and talkative man lost himself after the loss of his older sibling, his appearance was forever altered as well as his mindset.

Feeling your heart sink at the thought, you focused on the warmth of the fire hitting your face, smoke billowing from the orange flickers as the moon took over the sky, slowly replacing the sun. 

“She’s stubborn. You should know that. When Ellie starts something, she finishes it, no matter how stupid it is.” Rolling your eyes to no one in particular, you looked down at JJ whose small head was buried into his mother's side, lashes fluttering as he struggled to keep his eyes open.

Dina snorted. “God, I hate that you’re right.”

“She loved Joel a lot, y’know. I’m guessing whatever the fuck Tommy said  that day got to her.”

Dina furrowed her brows, adjusting JJ so that he was in a more comfortable position, the side of her face glowing a gentle red. “It was fucking ridiculous. You should’ve seen the look on her face. She wasn’t doing well initially, but he made it harder for her. ”

“Tommy didn’t tell me exactly what he said. Only that he regretted it badly after and that you told him off for it. Rightfully so.” Puffing out your cheeks in a breath you scanned your eyes around the area, zeroing in on a group of children happily eating sandwiches, bent over close to the dirt, pointing out small insects burrowing beneath the still damp soil.

Hearing Dina sigh, you watched from her peripheral as she lifted herself from the thick log, careful not to disturb JJ’s deep slumber as he stuck his tongue out of his mouth.

“I think I’m gonna call it a night. Should take advantage of the fact that he’s sleeping.” She chuckled lightly, moving her mouth at an odd angle to blow a strand of dark hair away from her eyes.

Giving her a tight-lipped smile, you nodded curtly, watching as she distanced herself from you and went over to a group of older folks to say goodbye to. Turning your attention back down to your cup, you sloshed it from side to side, ready to zone out once more until you felt the presence of someone behind you. 

“Are you gonna keep standing behind me like some sort of creep or…?.”

Jumping slightly as his hand landed harshly on your left shoulder, you rubbed you set your cup down next to you, rubbing your arm in slight discomfort. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare ya. Glad you came despite uh, you know....”

“I didn’t come because you wanted me to.” 

Sighing loudly, Tommy cocked his head toward the sky, inhaling largely before exhaling, getting himself lightheaded in the process. “I know. I guess that was my way of … apologizin’.”

Raising your eyebrows in surprise, the expression disappeared as quickly as it had come. “Oh wow. Did you fall and hit your head on the way over here or something cause I could’ve just sworn you said sor-” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Waving a hand in your direction, he rolled his eyes, chuckling under his breath when your laughter reached his ears. Although he would never admit it aloud, it was a nice thing to hear.

“I accept your lame attempt at an apology.” You stated playfully, clapping your hands together and entwining your fingers with one another. 

“Good.” He sighed, clearing his throat afterward to get rid of the sudden awkwardness that took over. 

“Have you talked to Maria yet?” 

“She wouldn’t wanna talk to me even if I tried, kid.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do too. She said so herself.”

Clicking your tongue on the roof of your mouth you gave him the most intense side eye you could muster, sucking in cool air through clenched teeth. “Wouldn’t hurt to try.”

“It would.”

Rising from your position, you dusted your palms off on your jeans, looking back at him as the wind whipped through his untamed hair, making small tendrils stick in different directions. “You motivate me to stop sitting on my ass so I'm telling you to get up off of yours now. Seriously, Tommy, you’re miserable.”

He chuckled dryly, slapping his right hand on his thigh as if you told him the funniest thing in the world. The loud slap echoed enough to have a couple of people snap their heads in your direction to see what exactly warranted a reaction like that from him. Rolling your eyes as far back into your head as they could go, you turned your body to face him fully, hand on your hip. 

“What’s so funny?”

“I appreciate you trying to give me an encouraging speech — “

“  — It wasn’t supposed to be encouraging, merely just an observation.” You sputtered, feeling your face heat at his correct assumption you tried to adamantly deny. 

“Sure. Well, whatever that was, you’re bad at it.” 

With the feeling of slight embarrassment walking its fingers up to grip your shoulder, you widened your jaw a bit, licking your chapped lips before you put your hand over your heart in faux hurt. “Ouch.”

“Regardless, I am thankful for how you’re trying to help me.” He expressed, staring up at you with dark eyes, lids heavy with lack of sleep. “But, it’s not the right time to say anythin’ to her just yet. I must sort myself out before making a big leap like that.”

Running the wet muscle of your tongue across your teeth, you took in his words, blankly staring at the creases in his forehead as he pinched the bridge of his nose in growing frustration. 

The tone of your voice softened, words coming out above a whisper, “That’s respectable. I don’t know how it doesn’t drive you insane though. Constantly trying to figure out solutions to problems that are out of your control.”

Tommy lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “Even before all of this,” Motioning to the crowds of people scattered about, innocent children playing with toys and the aging buildings that still stood, “problems are always out of your control but in someone else’s hands. There’s a reason for everything.”

“But there’s a solution for everything too.” You tutted, wagging a finger at him. 

“Since when you’d become so wise?”

“Since you told me that I'm bad at giving encouraging words.”

“I thought you said you weren’t trying to encourage me.”

“Whatever.”

Spinning on your heels, a cloud of dirt appeared around your feet. You shooed him away. “I’m going home. Keep yourself out of trouble.”

Tommy shook his head, fighting the strong urge to smile as he shouted at your retreating figure. “Always do!”

“I beg to differ!”

With a cheeky smile on your face and aching cheeks, you kept your head high as you made your way home, waving at those who lingered outside, having their private conversations under the dim light of the moon. The air was crisp, the crunch of leaves beneath your feet all you could focus on until you turned the street, your shadow combining with the shapes it came across. During heated nights, you and Ellie would sneak out  — roaming the streets of Jackson without a care in the world, shushing each other to not cause a disturbance to those curled up in their beds. 

She enjoyed making shapes underneath the strung-up lights littered around every corner, having you guess what animal she was making, bending each of her fingers. You were never really good at it. No matter how hard she tried to teach you the different kinds of objects you could shape your fingers into, you had given up quickly, insisting that she was a natural at everything she tried her hand in. 

Stopping under a source of light illuminating the concrete from a nearby porch, you raised both of your hands, staring at your shadow as you bent your fingers in an attempt to make a rabbit, failing drastically. 

“I was never good at that shit.” You mumbled to yourself, dragging the soles of your beat-up sneakers against the pavement. 

Shoving your hands in the pockets of your sweater, you picked at a loose string, pinching and pulling as Joel’s house came into view. 

As you neared, interest was piqued within you at the source of light that stuck out like a sore thumb, shrouded by a large tree but very visible in the darkness of the night. Quickening your pace, you raised your brows in curiosity, making your way up the steps and around to the back of the house where Ellie’s shed stood. 

You were dreaming. That had to be the only plausible explanation as to why you were seeing what you were currently seeing right now  — or maybe you were hallucinating  — you had to be. With your heart beating quickly in the small space in your chest, thumping loudly in your ears, you drew in a sharp breath, biting the side of your cheek as you slowly took in the back of a plaid, button-up shirt, gaze drifting to dirt covered jeans before landing on the old converse sneakers you knew all too well. 

“Ellie?”

[bullet-prooflove]

send me a made-up fic title and i'll tell you what i would write to go with it...

"Seasons Change"

Maybe about Lassiter? (because I love how you write him). 🥺🤍

Tagging: @elefrog25-blog  @ineedbrainbleach  @secretsquirrelinc  @kmc1989

It’s spring and you’ve been Carlton’s partner for almost six months by now. The two of you have fallen into an easy rhythm, you work well together but it bothers him a little that he barely knows a damn thing about you.

“You are far too closed off.” He tells you in the midst of a stake out. “We’ve been partners for months and I don’t even know your first name. I’ve had to resort to calling you Bunny.”

“You’re one to talk.” You retort as you take a sip from your coffee cup. “Everything I know about you is surface level.”

He pauses then because he thinks that can’t be right but then he thinks back through all of his own liaisons since the separation, how he avoids the personal questions, immerses himself in his work. It’s the only thing he allows himself to talk about because anything else leaves him feeling too vulnerable, too raw. He’s never thought of himself as warm and cuddly but it isn’t until now that he realises he comes off as cold.

“Not cold.” You correct him with the shrug of your shoulders. “Just not forthcoming.”

“I can be forthcoming.” He snaps back at you because honesty he’s feeling a little wounded. He had no idea until this very moment how much he’d shut down, his defensive he’s become. “It’s you who has the problem.”

“OK then let’s play a game.” You say, setting your reuseable coffee cup down on the dashboard before turning your entire attention towards him. His breath catches in his throat because those eyes, they get him everytime. “You get real with me and I’ll get real with you.”

He loosens his tie then because it’s about to get all real up in here. He peppers you with questions and you volley them back like a tennis player in a semifinals match.

He discovers you like watching the sunset on the beach after a tough case because it reminds you that there’s beauty in the world. You left LA because your ex husband told you he didn’t love you anymore. You had just stepped out of the shower, you didn’t even have a towel wrapped around you when he told you that he was leaving you. You have an odd fascination with lighthouses, you don’t know why but you’ve always liked them, it’s one of the reasons you moved to Santa Barbara.

“You moved here because of a lighthouse?” He questions you, because if that isn’t the most impulsive thing he’s ever heard, he doesn’t know what is.

“The day after it happened, I just got in my car and decided to take a drive. There was too much stuff going on and I needed to think. I ended up here, parked outside the lighthouse and in that moment I just knew it was going to be ok.” You tell him, the edges of your mouth tipping up into a small smile. “My life was falling apart and I don’t know, just being there, it gave me a sense of peace amongst all the chaos.”

“I could have done with somewhere like that.” He says, shaking his head as he leans back into his seat. “Those first few months of the separation were rough, I didn’t think I’d make it…”

The words slip out before he means them to and he realises the enormously of what he’s just revealed. He never thought of himself as suicidal, not really but there were nights when he sat in that crappy apartment cleaning his gun wondering what it would feel like to pull the trigger, if it would drown out all the anguish he felt, the noise in his head.

Your hand comes to rest on his and he stares down at it surprised.

“There were times back in LA, that I thought about just walking into the sea. I would imagine the water coming up to my hips, my chest, my neck, the current just taking me…”

“I’m glad you didn’t.” He says quietly, his fingers entwining with yours. “Seasons change, the winter doesn’t feel so bad once the spring sets in.”

If that isn’t a summary of the past six months of your life that you don’t know what is.

“Yea.” You say softly as your gaze meets his. “I can’t imagine what the summer will bring.”

Love Carlton? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[richincolor]

We're nearing the end of 2024, so in preparation for our hiatus, our schedule will be changing slightly. Today we will have all of the November 2024 releases, and this Friday will be all of the December 2024 releases. After that, our team will make their individual favorites lists for the year before we go on our break. So without further adieu, here are the books coming out this month:

November 5th

Batgirl: Possession by Jade Adia, illustrated by Charly Palmer Penguin Random House

Batgirl™ is on the case when strange attacks start happening at Gotham Academy. The long shadows of Gotham City stretch deeper than she imagined when evidence points to black magic and something more sinister still in this original suspense novel!Thanks to a scholarship to the prestigious Gotham Academy, Barbara Gordon, aka Batgirl, gets to experience how some of the city’s wealthiest teens live with fast cars, expensive clothes, and more. But when these advantages and luxuries are not enough, Barbara discovers that the some of them have turned to dabbling in black magic to get their kicks . . . setting off a series of strange events and deaths. Batgirl quickly steps in to investigate, but finding the killer proves to be more difficult than usual. The prime suspect’s brother is an irresistible distraction from the case at the same her growing relationship with Robin, the Boy Wonder, is hitting an all-time low. If all that wasn’t troubling enough, the hard facts aren’t to be lining up. Batgirl isn’t one to believe in black magic, but there seem to be forces in Gotham City’s shadows growing hungrier and stronger, and if she doesn’t find a way to shed some light on the case soon, the creeping darkness just might take possession of her . . . forever!Batgirl and supernatural thriller fans will love the mystery and horror lurking in this action-packed original novel!

Streetlight People by Charlene Thomas Dutton Books for Young Readers

For most, Streetlight is a dot on the map you pass on your way to somewhere else. But if you live there, you’re either a Have-Not, like Kady, or a Have-Lot like her boyfriend, Nik, who also happens to be a member of the exclusive social club, The IV Boys.

Known for their powerful families and the coveted ball they host for a selective guest list, The IV Boys have always refused to accept Kady regardless of how much Nik loves her. All the Boys except for Aaron, who didn’t grow up in Streetlight and is one of the few who knows that life—real life—exists outside of it. But his stepmom has the kind of wealth and power even IV Boys can’t resist.

With Nik at college, Aaron stands by Kady’s side. But all Kady really wants is Nik, and when a chance encounter on Halloween hands her the power to twist and hold time, she doesn’t hesitate. Now she can keep Nik close for as long as she wants.

While Kady tries to relive her best moments with Nik, the IV Boys have her in their sights. A rumor’s spreading that Kady and Aaron are much more than friends—and not even twisting time is enough to defend against the power that the Boys were born with.

The more Kady changes the clock, the more dizzying reality becomes, until she stumbles upon a truth darker than anything she could have imagined. Streetlight is filled with monsters—and maybe she’s always been one, too.

Teen Titans: Starfire #5 by Kami Garcia, illustrated by Gabriel Picolo DC Comics

Kori Anders’ summer job at a ritzy Santa Monica beach club is fun, but she doesn't feel like she belongs there. She never breaks the rules, she doesn’t care about keeping up with the current trends, and she can’t be bothered rushing around to make an appearance at all the parties—in fact, Kori avoids rushing at all costs because of her Ehlers Danlos Syndrome diagnosis. What she does feel is an inexplicable draw to the stars.

Her older sister, Kira, on the other hand, is the most popular girl around. With the hottest clothes, an even hotter boyfriend (the Tate Fairweather), and a take-no-prisoners attitude, she’s Kori’s opposite in every way. Sadly, Kori doesn’t think Tate is a good fit for her sister, and nothing she says will convince Kira to break up with him.

The summer heats up when Tate’s uncle, Lynch Fairweather, CEO of a major pharmaceutical company, asks Kori and Kira to participate in a clinical trial designed to advance treatments for EDS. During treatment, Kori begins to discover some strange powers that she has never had before…and she might not be the only one.

Can Kori uncover the truth about her powers and find a way to persuade her sister to trust her before it’s too late?

Where the Library Hides (Secrets of the Nile #2) by Isabel Ibañez Wednesday Books

The stunning conclusion to the story that started in What the River Knows. A lush immersive historical fantasy set in Egypt filled with adventure, and a rivals-to-lovers romance like no other!

1885, Egypt

Inez Olivera is left reeling from her cousin Elvira’s murder, and her mother’s betrayal, and when Tío Ricardo issues an ultimatum about her inheritance, she’s left with only one option to consider.

Marriage to Whitford Hayes.

Former British soldier, her uncle’s aide de camp, and one time nemesis, Whit has his own mysterious reasons for staying in Egypt. With her heart on the line, Inez might have to bind her fate to the one person whose secret plans could ruin her.

November 12

Fortune's Kiss by Amber Clement Union Square & Co.

The legendary Fortune’s Kiss has returned to Ciudad Milagro for the first time in ten years. The magical gambling house shows up twice a year in a new city during the solstices to lure those worthy enough to wager their souls for wealth, the realization of their greatest desires, and, even, immortality.

Known by many names throughout the years, it returns to Milagro as El Beso de la Fortuna . . . and the game is Lotería. And best friends Mayté Robles and Lorena (Lo) de León are determined to change their lives, escape the dangerous men who threaten them, and gain riches.

Mayté, the sole daughter of the disgraced Robles family, wishes to leave her family and become a successful painter, while Lo suffers at the hands of her powerful and abusive father and seeks to find her mother, who escaped to Fortune’s Kiss years ago but never returned.

When Fortune’s Kiss finally returns to their city, the pair follow on their childhood blood pact to enter the gaming salon. But once inside, Mayté and Lo quickly realize that beneath the marvelous glamour, the salon is hiding dangerous secrets and the house always wins. And the game of Lotería is not the children’s game they grew up playing—it is a deadly lottery of chance.

With the help of a young, handsome croupier, the girls embark on a mission to unravel the mystery of the salon’s magic, find Lo’s mother, and try to win a nearly impossible game as their friendship is put under the greatest of tests.

Greater Secrets by Ananth Hirsh Random House Graphics

In a family gifted with the ability to see a mysterious light in the distance, one teen embarks on a fantastical journey to find her missing sister, and finally answer the question: is this ancestral gift a blessing or a curse?

Maya’s family is cursed.

Or blessed, it depends on who you talk to. For as far back as anyone can remember, her family has had to ability to see a mysterious pillar of light in the distance. Those who have tried to find it have never come back. Maya has no idea what you're meant to find if you follow the light. Adventure? Destiny? But what if your destiny isn't a good thing?

Maya’s sister left to follow her light…and has been missing ever since.

That’s how Maya finds herself on a surreal road trip with two people she barely knows, headed towards a ghost town where her sister was last seen. Unfortunately, the closer Maya gets to her sister...the closer she gets to her own pillar of light. Maya doesn't know if she's ready to face her destiny but if it means finding her sister then she'll do whatever it takes.

Heist Royale (Thieves' Gambit, #2) by Kayvion Lewis Nancy Paulsen Books

The high-stakes sequel to Thieves' Gambit, for fans of Jennifer Lynn Barnes and Ally Carter.

It's been six months since the end of the Gambit. Instead of winning an impossible wish, Ross has the threat of her family’s execution hanging over her head. Devroe, the only person Ross thought she could trust, could wish the Quests into oblivion at any time. Shockingly, despite his betrayal, Devroe is still making a play for Ross’s heart as the two work together pulling jobs for the Organization. But Ross has learned her lesson: A Quest can only trust another Quest.

When Ross finds herself at the center of a power struggle within the Organization, she sees her chance to change her fortunes. As a new deadly Gambit develops for control of the criminal underworld, Ross strikes a risky deal to guarantee protection for herself and her family.

In this final clash, Ross will square off against a ruthless opponent who will stop at nothing to seize power, and in their corner will be not only Devroe but his mother, who wants to destroy the Quests at any cost.

The new Gambit takes Ross and her crew into the intoxicating casinos of Monte Carlo and across treacherous snow-covered slopes in Antarctica as Ross competes against Devroe in a fight for her life. Loyalties will be tested, backs stabbed, hearts broken. May the best thief win.

I Am the Dark That Answers When You Call (I Feed Her to the Beast, #2) by Jamison Shea Hot Key Books

Monsters and mortals, rejoice! Acheron is back . . .

Though Laure has tried to close the lid on her ballet shoes and the feelings she once held for dance since the Palais Garnier incident two months ago, Laure is spinning out. Between partying, drinking, and avoiding anything and, well, everyone, she has no time to be anything but a monster. But when Laure stumbles across a mysterious dead body during one of her nights out, she’s forced to notice the cracks stretching beyond herself.

Below the streets of Paris, Elysium is dying, and Acheron and Lethe’s influence is spilling into the streets like a blight. Laure isn’t the only of Elysium’s beasts to rise from the ruins of Palais Garnier, and someone is mobilizing an army of monsters with plans greater than Laure, Andor, and Keturah could have ever guessed. While Laure is warring between her wants and Acheron’s ever-demanding appetite, she and her circle of monsters are left to reckon with a not-so-simple question: how do you save yourself from oblivion?

Jamison Shea's sharp and unflinching voice will bring readers to terrifying new heights in this vicious sequel to the "relentlessly gory and almost euphoric in its embrace of the horrific" (NPR) I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast is Me.

Midnights with You by Clair Osongco Disney-Hyperion

“Where were you thinking of going?” “Nowhere.” “Great,” he says lightly, putting the car in gear. “Then we’ll go there.”

Seventeen-year-old Deedee’s life is full of family ghosts and questions she can’t ask. She longs for an escape, but guilt holds her back—that, and the fact that her strict Filipino single mom won’t let her learn to drive. But one sleepless night leads Deedee down a road she never thought possible: secret driving lessons with the new boy next door, Jay, whose turbulent family life also keeps him up until sunrise.

As midnights stretch into days, Jay helps Deedee begin to unravel her past, and as shared secrets blossom into love, Deedee starts to imagine a life where happiness is possible. But the deeper she digs into the trauma that has shaped her, the more that trauma threatens to tear Deedee and Jay apart. Together, these two must decide if the pain they’ve both inherited has the power to choose their fate, or if they have the power to choose for themselves.

More Than This (The Davenports, #2) by Krystal Marquis Dial Books for Young Readers

Like the blazing Chicago sun, the drama is heating up for the Davenports and their social set. Before the summer of 1910 drops its last petal, the lives—and loves—of these four young women will change in ways they never could have imagined:

Newly engaged Ruby Tremaine is eagerly planning her wedding to the love of her life when a nasty rumor threatens her reputation and her marriage. Olivia Davenport has committed to the social justice cause and secretly hopes she’ll be reunited with dashing lawyer Washington DeWight—until her parents decide she’s to marry someone else. Amy-Rose Shepherd is making her lifelong wish of owning a salon come true, but when an incident forces her to return to Freeport Manor, she’s back in the path of John Davenport, who still holds her heart. Helen Davenport is determined to get over her own heartbreak and bring the Davenport Carriage Company into the new century, even if it means teaming up with a thrill-seeking racecar driver who just loves to get under her skin.

Inspired by the real-life story of the Patterson family, More Than This is the second book in critically adored Davenports series, following four empowered and passionate young Black women as they navigate a rapidly changing society and discover the courage to steer their own paths in life—and love.

Rani Choudhury Must Die by Adiba Jaigirdar Feiwel & Friends

In this sapphic dual POV Young Adult romance by Adiba Jaigirdar, Meghna and Rani (ex-best-friends-turned-rivals) realize they're dating the same guy, so they team up to beat and expose him at a big science competition!

Meghna Rahman is tired of constantly being compared to her infuriatingly perfect ex best friend now rival. Everyone, except, at least, her boyfriend Zak, seems to think that Rani Choudhury can do no wrong—even her own parents! It doesn’t help that Rani is always accepted into the Young Scientist Exhibition, while Meghna’s projects never make it. But this year, she finally has a chance at defeating Rani in something.

Rani Choudhury is tired of feeling like she doesn’t have much say in her life—not when it comes to how her mom wants her to look and act or how her parents encourage her to date incredibly charming close family friend Zak. She would much rather focus on her coding, especially once she places high enough at the Young Scientist Exhibition to go on to the European Young Scientist Exhibition

When Meghna and Rani figure out that Zak has been playing them both, they decide to do something no one would see coming: they team up. They’ll compete in the EYSE as partners, creating an app that exposes cheaters and a project that exposes Zak. But with years of silence and pressure between them, working together will prove difficult. Especially once each girl starts to realize that the feelings they had for the other may have been more than platonic...

Hey, no one ever said science was easy!

November 19

Serpent Sea (The Spice Road Trilogy #2) by Maiya Ibrahim Delacorte Press

Imani is a magic-wielding warrior sworn to protect her land from the monsters that roam the desert. But an even worse enemy now threatens the Sahir. As the powerful Harrowlanders march south with their greatest weapon—spice magic—Imani knows it’s only a matter of time before their invasion of her land begins . . . and it will be a losing battle for her people.

But Imani also knows that one way to fight magic is with monsters. If she can restore Qayn’s stolen powers, together they can summon a supernatural army to defend the Sahir from the Harrowlanders. Forming an alliance with a djinni king is risky, but Imani will do anything to save her people, even embarking on a dangerous quest beyond the sands to find the magical jewels of Qayn’s lost crown.

As Imani journeys far from home, she will discover monsters that warriors have only heard about in myths . . . monsters that can strike at any moment. Meanwhile, her rival, Taha, has been captured and is on a dangerous mission of his own.

One wrong move could cost them their lives—and everyone they love. But they may find that there is more than meets the eye crossing the Serpent Sea . . . and betrayal cuts deeper than any dagger.

Sophomore Year (Briarcliff Prep #2) by Brianna Peppins Disney Hyperion

Amelia Westlake Was Never Here meets an empathetic exploration of anxiety at historically Black boarding school Briarcliff Prep. Love triangles, friendship breakups, and slice-of-student-life are balanced with a thoughtful discussion about mental health, all in a love letter to Black girls.

Avielle LeBeau is beginning her second year at Briarcliff Prep, and she's got big dreams. Top of the list? Starting her own student life magazine and rooming with her besties Rhyon and Zazie. But a housing mix-up splits Avi from her friends—and to make matters worse, she's rooming with her rival, Fallon Walsh, instead.

How does one girl juggle school, a fracturing friendship, living with a mean girl, and getting caught in a potential love triangle between the ex she can't move on from and a friend who’s becoming something more? It's a lot. Made even harder by the panic attacks Avi has been experiencing lately.

If one thing is true about the LeBeau family, it's that they’re always there for each other. But with her older sister Belle away at college and her brothers preoccupied chasing their own dreams, Avi must learn how to find support in new (unlikely) places.

Will Avi finally find her voice? Or will her dreams be drowned out by everyone else?

When Mimi Went Missing by Suja Sukumar Soho Teen

Shy, nerdy Tanvi has always thought of her perfect cousin Mimi as her sister. Not only did Mimi’s family raise Tanvi after the tragic death of her parents, fierce Mimi has always protected Tanvi at school. At least until Mimi fell under the spell of their flawless, rich classmate, Beth . . . Tanvi’s biggest bully.

Fearing another terrible year, Tanvi decides to take a desperate, preemptive strike—and captures an incriminating photo of Mimi and Beth at a party. When Tanvi wakes up the next day with a bump on her head, scratches on her leg, and no memory of what caused her injuries, Mimi is gone.

When the investigation for the missing girl takes a dark turn, Tanvi begins to fill the gaps in her memory, hoping to bring her cousin home alive. She questions Mimi’s friends and enemies—including Mimi’s shady boyfriend, who refuses to answer her questions, and Beth, who catalyzed the split between the once-close cousins. Meanwhile, the cops announce that they are now hunting a murderer—are they hunting Tanvi?

To preserve her family and find the truth, Tanvi must revisit the worst night of her life and the darkest parts of her past to discover if she’s capable of murder—and the truth of what happened to Mimi.

November 26

Heart-Shaped Lies by Elizabeth Agyemang Delacorte

Kiara, Priscilla, and Nevaeh have nothing in common—except they just found out that they’re all dating Tommy Harding, the internet’s most famous teen prank star.

KIARA is the girlfriend who the cameras know and love, the academic star who Tommy parades around in public to keep his image in check.

PRISCILLA is Tommy’s co-star. As a beauty influencer and an accomplice to Tommy’s notorious antics, she’s always known that the two of them could be the Internet’s power couple—if only he would confess to his girlfriend what really goes on during their ‘rehearsals’.

And NEVAEH is the good girl, the pastor’s daughter who’d never dream of dating a boy who’s already taken.

When a viral post from Tommy’s social media account exposes his cheating ways during their high school class trip to Florida’s biggest theme park, the girls are crushed—and furious. Tommy claims his account was hacked. Now, Kiara, Priscilla, and Nevaeh want him out of their lives. Forever. After all, Tommy doesn’t just hold their hearts—he holds their secrets, too.

But when Tommy’s body is found the next morning, their so-called wish becomes a twisted reality. Because Tommy may be gone, but the internet is forever. And the girls are about to go from strangers to suspects….

[punkassfrance]

Sierra Nevada - Chapter I - Ellie/Abby

Chapter I: Donner (Work Length ~1.4k) This work is rated M for canon-typical violence and gore. Please look here for a full list of warnings for the series, specific warnings will be provided at the start of each chapter. This work contains passing mention of cannibalism and discussion of a massacre. (Aftermath- corpses, smell, etc.) Full Series - Next Chapter

“Even though I told people to call me Linda, that was another girl’s name. I had to change my name several times because of what I had done, or rather, what had been done to me.” - Aimee Parkison, “The Innocent Party”

-

Abby

It was hard to say exactly what happened to the Fireflies. They didn’t have much to go on, once Abby and Lev finally made it to Catalina island. There were no notes, no maps, no audio logs explaining everything they needed to know. From what did remain, Abby could only say one thing for sure- it was a fucking bloodbath.

The bodies weren’t fresh. They weren’t old, either. Sometime between 2425 Constance and the moment they made it to the island, the Fireflies were wiped out. It had been a few weeks, maybe a month since the bodies hit the ground where they laid. There was no getting away from the smell; nowhere on the island was safe from the harsh reminder of whatever had happened.

Some of them looked like they went down fighting, gunpowder residue still on their fingers. Some were executed. There were missing boats along the docks- some must have made it out alive, she thought with the last bit of hope she had left. It didn’t last long.

Lev looked up from the shambles of the Fireflies, looking to Abby for hope, a plan, anything she could offer. They’d spent almost two years looking for the Fireflies, they’d been so close. It was all Abby had wanted.

But they still had fresh rope burn. They both still hungered from the pillars, and she had injuries to take care of from the cure. She still tasted blood, and tried not to focus too hard on what was stuck in her teeth.

“…come on, Lev.”

That was almost a year ago, now. Maybe if they weren’t both exhausted, starving and beaten like dogs, they would have kept looking. They wouldn’t have given up on the Fireflies.

But Santa Barbara changed things. After all they’d seen, all that had happened, some part of Abby decided it was just over. All Lev wanted was to be with Abby, and all Abby wanted to do was get the fuck out of this city.

The sailboat made it as far as San Francisco before it couldn’t keep going. Abby had tried to fix it for about a week before Lev confessed he wanted to explore inland- see what the world was like outside the coast.

“Abby?” She looks up from her journal as Lev calls her from a few yards away, pointing to a road sign he’s spent the last ten minutes uncovering. “How do you say this? Trucke?”

Abby stands and walks over to him, squinting at the sign. “It’s Truck-ee. Just how it looks. Means we’re getting close to Nevada.”

There’s been…some interruptions on their trip, to say the least. Some things Abby can’t bring herself to remember, let alone talk about- but they’re past that. Abby’s hair is slowly growing out, past her shoulders now, just enough to braid. Her hair hasn’t been this short since she was a teenager. Lev’s kept his hair short, but not fully shaved- he gets nightmares when it gets too long. But then, he gets nightmares most nights.

“What’s Nevada like?”

“What is it, October? Should be nice. We should leave before spring, though. It’s a lot of desert. We’ll go around Reno if we can help it.”

“Have you been there?” Lev lets the foliage fall back over the road sign, hands resting on the straps of his backpack.

“Nope. We’re both gonna see something new.”

They’re just outside of Donner, Abby pausing their lesson on the history of the area to take a short rest. He’s fascinated by what he’s heard, even the morbid details she barely remembers. “Book on Donner Party/murder?” is written down in her shopping list, one of the dozens of things she needs to find at some point. He’d like that, she’s certain.

“We should get moving. Should just be another day or so to Nevada.”

Lev nods and starts off down the road as Abby puts her journal away, half-jogging to keep up with him. “Hang on, Lev-”

“Gotta get a move on!”

She huffs quietly and runs until she catches up to him, glancing around the woods. He knows she’s been trying to get back in shape. It’s been tricky, after everything that happened in Santa Barbara, but not as hard as she feared it would be. Muscle comes back easier once it’s been gained the first time around, even if the limited calories complicate things. Whatever anyone had to say about the Washington Liberation Front, they kept their people fed. One of the few things she misses from Seattle.

“I’m coming.”

Ellie

“No. I’m not gonna do this again. If you walk out, I’m not going to be here if you come back.”

“That’s up to you.”

-

There was no real point in going back. There was nothing left for Ellie, after all. The possessions she’d turned into a life meant nothing anymore- Tommy probably took most of them when Dina left. If she ever decides she wants any of it back, if she ever returns to Jackson to beg for Dina’s forgiveness, she hopes Tommy at least has the decency to feel ashamed.

Not that he matters, anymore. Not that anyone in Wyoming matters. Not that anyone matters.

When she journals about it, she wants to say she hasn’t been this disconnected since she was…younger, but she can’t settle on an age. First it was Riley. Then Marlene. Then Joel. Then Dina. As much as loneliness has haunted her entire life, the more she thinks about it, it was never so tangible. There was always something there, someone keeping her tethered to humanity.

But Santa Barbara changed things. After Abby disappeared into the fog, after she stood from the water on the last shreds of energy she had and watched the horizon, it was too late. When the stars started to appear on the water, it hit her that there was nothing for her anywhere. Jackson might welcome her, but it would never be home again.

So, east. There was no real plan to it, nothing beyond get out of Santa Barbara, so that’s what she did. Wandered until she found somewhere suitable to settle down. She’s not sure what the name of the town is, just that it’s quiet. Joel would have liked it, she thinks- he loved the mountains. They never managed to get this far west together.

It looked like an old vacation town, somewhere rich people would visit when the season was right. It’s been nearly a year since she settled here, and if there’s anything she’s learned, it’s that nobody in their right mind would be here in the winter just to visit. The snow should be coming in any day now- she’ll have to prepare for it soon.

At least there’s a nice view from the back porch of the cabin she settled on. Her cabin, now. The previous owner was quickly dispatched, his spores fully aired out within a week. Now it’s just her place. She drinks the tea in her hand, thumb rubbing over the design on the mug. It’s not the same owl mug Joel had, but it’s close enough to remind her. Remind her she cared about someone for a little while.

Her place is so quiet. There’s no voices, no humming from the kitchen, no kids giggling and playing outside. It’s nothing like Jackson. If she doesn’t speak, nothing needs to be said. It’s nice. A bird sings nearby— it’s one of Ellie’s favorite sounds. Joel told her it was called a Mourning Dove.

Pushing herself back from the balcony railing, she gives the woods one last look before she turns back to the house. There’s a laundry list of things to do- prepare firewood, move the few plants that can be moved indoors, clear out the gutters— small things to handle before the snow really sets in. The greenhouse still needs fixing up, just another thing for her to get to once summer returns.

As endless as it feels, the list she’s built up is only a few years long. Ellie’s not sure what she’s going to do once she hits the end of it.

But for now, as she sets her mug next to the sink and reaches for her jacket. She’s fresh out of distractions for the morning.

I'm so excited to start this series- hopefully you enjoyed chapter one, more on the way soon! Again, heed the warnings for each chapter, please be safe! Huge thanks to @jennaispunk for looking this over for me, the help is very much appreciated!!

Thank you to @plum98 for the forest divider! Feel free to say hi or drop your thoughts in my askbox, check out my AO3 or my about me if you're interested!

[v1ct0la]

kindergarten - abby tlou2 x reader oneshot [SFW]

Months after landing on Catalina island with Abby and Lev, many of those months spent recovering from your injuries (both mental and physical), you decide to volunteer at the fireflies’ kindergarten. When Abby visits you one afternoon while you’re teaching, you and the kids force her to join in your game of hopscotch…

SFW oneshot

1,719 words (I GOT CARRIED AWAY HAHA SORRY)

TLOU2 au, set on Catalina island after the events of TLOU2

Inspired by the WLF school and someone who headcannoned Abby playing hopscotch (I can’t remember whose blog it was so if you know please tell me so I can tag them!!!)

TWs: description of injuries in the beginning 2 paragraphs - other than that, just pure joy, love, and peace 😊

let me know about any mistakes!

After you, Abby, and Lev reached the island in the spluttering boat, the three of you collapsed onto the rickety Catalina boardwalk. Blood gushed from the stab wound in your side, mixing with the salty brine of the ocean, running in rivulets down to where it dripped off your fingers and splattered onto the wood. You spat the rusty taste of old blood from your mouth, struggling against the pain, and hauled yourself to your knees. Your wound pounded, and you shot your hand up to clamp it down in an attempt to stop the bleeding after your sudden movements. You looked up at Abby, who already was on her feet and staggering to pick up Lev’s limp form.

You stood, swayed with lightheadedness from loss of blood, and stumbled towards the pair. Abby heaved Lev into her arms and started shouting for help, causing the boy to stir through his unconsciousness. After her repeated calls, other voices stirred and began to ring out, but the blood pounding in your ears, muffled it. You couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, could only hope they would help. Heavy footsteps made the boardwalk beneath you shudder and before you properly registered them, the ground beneath you suddenly felt much too far away. 

Your vision swam, your legs buckled, and as you collapsed onto the ground, you heard Abby shriek your name. All you could feel was hands grabbing onto you before you sank into the inky black of unconsciousness. 

* * *

Sunrays filtered through the grimy windows, throwing the cozy classroom into a glittering spectacle of glowing afternoon light. It had been almost a year since you escaped the violence of Santa Barbara, months you had spent recovering with Abby and Lev at your side. Most recently, however, you had asked to take up the position of teacher at the island’s kindergarten. It was a little classroom of about 15 young kids that you absolutely loved. Before you met Lev, you didn’t really like kids - found them sticky and loud. But they had grown on you, always little faces beaming with joy and curiosity, despite the state of the world. 

Today had been as fun as always, albeit long. You had been teaching the kids about various marine animals, and presently, were showing them old images of spotted seals. 

“Okay, now, who call tell me where to find spotted seals?” You asked the children.

A chubby little hand shot up, and you called on the little girl to answer. 

“Spacific Ocean!” She shouts, and you giggle.

“Pacific Ocean,” you say to her, “but yes, good job!”

You hear a knock on the door, and you look up to check the clock. It was nearly 2pm, which meant it was time for a break. You smile at the other teacher through the door’s glass, nodding to let him know you’d take the kids out.

“Alright goobers, it’s break time,” You call out over their little voices, “everyone, line up by the door, double file!”

Outside in the warm sunlight, you guided the children over to the playground. Once you gave them the go-ahead, they all scattered, splitting off to play their little hearts out. You stood off to the side in the shade with your hands propped on your hips, surveying. A cool breeze rustled through the foliage, and you were grateful for the relief it brought you.

A tug on your pants caught your attention, and you looked down. The girl from before, Natalie, was staring up at you with big brown eyes. “Play hopscotch with us pleeeeease?” She asked. You grin at her cuteness and agreed. She grabbed your hand and dragged you off to the chalked concrete where a few other kids were already hopping along. 

It was your turn. Little Natalie clapped and cheered loudly as you jumped forwards and into each square. As you got to the other end, you held your hands out in triumph, and the kids all laughed with you. 

“Reigning champion, are we?” You spun around at the sound of her voice, face already breaking out into a grin.

Abby stood a few feet in front of you, arms crossed. “How long have you been standing there?” You asked, stepping towards her. A sheepish smile and warmth spread across your features in slight embarrassment at yourself. 

“Only long enough to watch your turn” Abby smirked, uncrossing her arms to pull you into a tight embrace. Her chin nestled into the crook of your neck and your breathed in the comforting scent of pine that clung to her short braid.

You missed her long hair, but after Santa Barbara, she was still growing it out again. It sat just beneath her collarbone, and you thought it was perfectly endearing, even though she still opted to have it pulled away in a tight braid. 

“How was your day?” She asked softly, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. 

You pulled back to reply when you were cut off with the shouting off the kids behind you. You turned to them. 

“Miss y/n! It’s your turn again!” one of them whined, and you looked back at Abby with an eyeroll. She untangled herself from your embrace and pushed you away gently.

“Go,” she smirked, “I’ll be right here, watching you.”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” you reply, a grin spreading across your face. Her brows furrowed, and you grabbed her wrist before she could realise what you meant. You spun on your heel, dragging Abby with you.

“No- I’m not- y/n!” Abby protested, trying to pull herself free, but you were on a roll. 

“Oh yes!” You say in a sing-song, “it’s your turn.”

You pulled her forward and pushed her towards the starting square. The little kids had all gathered around the two of you to watch. “Look, it’s Abby’s turn! Look!” a little boy shouted out, much to Abby’s dismay. 

She looked back at you with an exasperated, making your laughter ring out across the playground. “C’mon Abs! Show us what you can do,” you giggle as you speak, egging her on.

She takes a tentative jump forwards, and you clap along with your students. She jumps again, and again, wobbling slightly each time she lands. She looks at you with a confident smile and your heart warms at the sight of her. The sunlight catches softly on her hair, haloing her in gold. 

The Catalina sun has been good to her the past year or so - her freckles are more visible than ever, her hair has lightened considerably, and you loved it. The recovery months had been long and painful - and not just physically. She sat by your and Lev’s beds for the first few weeks, only getting up when she was dragged away for meals by the nurses. Being inside for so long made her look gaunt and drawn, but now she shone with newfound radiance and peace. She was safe, and so were you. 

In a few more jumps, Abby was near the end of the hopscotch. As she leapt for the final square, she made a fatal mistake. She tilted her head to look at you right as she jumped - and lost her footing as she landed. Abby stumbled, falling right on her ass.

You burst into laughter, as did your students, and Abby’s head snapped to you. It was so ridiculous, the way she tumbled and looked absolutely mortified, and the more you replayed it in your head, the more you doubled over. You howled and fell to your knees - you had been so serious all day, and all your pent-up tiredness finally caught up to you. Tears streamed down your cheeks and your midsection started to hurt with your laughter. You watched Abby, who’s back was to you, as she slowly got to her feet.

Her head turned, and she glared at you. That shut you up. Her brows were knit together when she said “Oh, it’s over for you now!” The kids all screamed and laughed and cheered. She grinned evilly and stalked towards you. You jumped to your feet, shrieking and giggling. You spun towards the open field next to the school, and bolted.

You were never very fast, but then again, neither was Abby. Right now, however, you wished you had taken sprinting practice a little more seriously back at the WLF stadium. You could hear her heavy footfall behind you as she got closer and closer. The tall grass of the field whipped at your legs as you laughed and ran as fast as you could. “Get back here!” Abby shouted, which made you squeal loudly.

“Got you!” Abby’s hand caught your arm, and she yanked you back into her. You struggled against her, shouting and laughing, but you were fighting a losing battle. She pulled you to her chest, right as you tried to yank yourself free, and the two of you tumbled.

You both fell into the soft grass, and Abby’s hand shot out around your head to stop herself from crushing you. She had a huge grin on her face and you huffed a breath. “Not so fast anymore, huh,” she puffed. Abby trapped you in, encasing you in her warm body.

“Shut up, I almost escaped,” you smiled up at her.

You could feel your heart beating rapidly in your chest, both from your running and her closeness. She never ceased to make your head spin and your heart flutter, even after the past year the two of you had been dating. 

You tucked away a strand of her honey-coloured hair that had fallen loose from her braid during your scuffle. You watched her piercing eyes as they snapped down to your lips.

You trailed your hands up to cup her face, smiling as you pulled her into a soft kiss. You could feel her smile against your mouth as the two of you connected. It was sweet and slow, full of love. You brought a hand to rest on her forearm, and she trailed a hand to your waist. 

“Ewwwwww!” You heard a little voice call out, and the two of you pulled away from each other with a giggle.

“Oh shut it,” Abby called to the little boy and leaned down to plant a kiss on your forehead.

[marjoch]

MAY YOUR DEATH BE SWIFT

slowburn ellabs fic set four years after santa barbara

early updates on ao3 @ josmarch

chapter 4

summary: abby taking care of sick ellie, domestic lev & abby life, just cute simple things

The weather outside looked like rain, but Abby knew Lev needed some time out of the house. These days he seemed restless, like sitting around would cause him harm. She thought it was a result of a lot of things: being outcast from the only society he had known, losing his sister, and working as a slave until Abby managed to get both of them exiled and sentenced to a sure death. He still didn’t know Ellie was the reason they were alive today. It had been four years, but she knew the past weighed on him as it did her. They were working through that together.

The pair of them started out from the house on foot. They had walked back from the gas station where they’d found Ellie last night, and they were used to walking most places. Abby and Lev made their way towards the main town, which was around a half mile from where they lived. Even in the shade, the late May weather was warm. Abby took off her windbreaker halfway through the short journey, revealing an array of healed but obvious scars made by a switchblade adorning her arms. She’d gained back some of the weight she’d lost in California, but she was a bit more lean as she hadn’t been working out as regularly. She was still in peak physical condition, and an asset to the town.

Both Abby and Lev were comfortable in each other’s presence, some relationship between maternal and sibling. They could sit for hours without saying a word, and be content. They’d been walking in silence for sometime before Lev finally spoke. “Why are you being so nice to her?”

Abby had given it some thought. Lev wasn’t aware of her research into Ellie, and she didn’t want to disclose all of it now. After Santa Barbara, Abby needed to know who Ellie was. The dialogue they’d had in the theatre in Seattle had become a blur, but she recalled it then. It was easy to piece it together once she had some semblance of an idea. Before Abby had deconstructed her preconceived notions of loyalty sometime around meeting Lev, she likely would’ve taken this grudge to the grave. Something in her had shifted. Lev cleared his throat, and Abby said, “I don’t know.”

“Didn’t she kill your friends?”

“I killed her father,” responded Abby, shaking her head. “I used to think everything was so black and white. This or that. I don’t know anymore.”

Lev looked curious. “Regardless of knowing, I think she has an effect on you.” They walked on, and he clarified, “Good or bad, I’m not sure.”

Abby wasn’t sure either. She also thought that she was thinking about it a little too much considering she was usually one for routine. Nothing in Santa Fe had been interesting since she’d settled here with Lev two years ago. At least, nothing disrupted her morning breakfast and falling asleep on the couch reading and her mind. She was beginning to wonder if she regretted going out for late night hunting that resulted in saving someone she’d tried to forget.

“She seems sick. I don’t want to be the one to shoot her if she turns out like everyone else.” Lev sounded serious.

“If you’re really worried, you can stay with your friends for a few nights. It would do you some good to get out of the house.”

Lev shrugged. “I’lll talk to Carmen once we get to town. I’d rather stay with them than get infected by your friend.”

“We aren’t friends,” Abby rolled her eyes.

“Same difference,” Lev replied. “Still weird that you’re helping her.”

They made it to town, then, so Abby dropped the conversation. It wasn’t something she wanted everyone else to hear. These people didn’t need to worry about the decisions she made. She hoped that Lev wouldn’t share anything about the situation, but she knew she didn’t have to hope, because they trusted each other enough.

The two of them went their separate ways once they were down the main street: Lev to his friends, and Abby to the armory. An old gym on the west side of the small town was home to the defense operations, and it’s where she reported her patrols. Overseeing the armory was Grace, a skilled sniper in her mid-thirties. She was a widow, having lost her husband in Dallas just two years prior. On her way into the gym, Abby held the door for a woman her age, and the woman thanked her by name.

“Just the person I was looking for,” said Grace as Abby entered. Grace was standing at the front desk, interrupting the conversation she’d been having with the man behind it.

“Glad we found each other,” Abby said. “I’ve got news for you, too.”

“You first. Walk and talk, I’ve got to meet with the new recruits in a few minutes.”

Abby joined Grace in walking towards the outside training grounds, through the back of the gym. “I think there’s a horde headed our direction. That old gas station had a bunch of infected, but Lev and I just checked it last week.There’s indications more are on the way.”

“Maybe we should start checking more often,” said Grace. “But you’re probably right about the horde. I’ll make sure everyone’s on the lookout.”

“Thanks,” Abby said. “Your turn.”

“I’ve got a new assignment for you, if you want it. The Johnsons had a small house fire last night. Nothing major, but it’s going to take some time to repair, and they’re both elderly. We’re planning to move them closer to the outskirts, but didn’t want to leave them out there alone.” They were approaching the training grounds now. “Would you do a routine patrol around the area daily? Just to make sure it’s clear. We don’t need infected in this town.”

Abby nodded. “Yeah, of course. Just get me the address.” They reached the training grounds, where five young men were standing and talking amongst themselves.

“You got it. See you soon.” With ease, Grace transitioned from saying goodbye to teaching a class. She put on a blank expression and studied each of the boys, who fell silent under her gaze. Abby left, then, determined to find Lev and get an update on where he would be staying.

Her efforts fell short and the sky grew darker in the distance. Abby knew the window of time to get home before the storm was closing, so she made the executive decision to head back home. Lev was with his friends, he was eighteen years old, and he was capable of both walking back later and defending himself if necessary. She was still getting used to him going off and doing his own thing.

Abby made it back right before the downpour began. She closed the door behind her, and immediately stopped in her tracks, noticing an absence in the living room. Ellie’s bag was on the floor beside the couch, but there was no sign of the woman. She wasn’t in the kitchen, either. Abby always had her gun on her, and she was prepared to use it if this really did go badly.

She decided to check the bathroom first, which felt like the most rational place. She knocked on the closed door. When she got no response, she called, “Ellie?” Nothing. She opened the door, and sighed. There was Ellie, sitting on the floor, head back against the wall, looking quite feverish. Abby put her gun away. She went to Ellie and knelt down, studying her. She raised her hand to Ellie’s temple with the intent of gauging her temperature, but Ellie swatted her hand away.

“Jesus, Ellie,” Abby rolled her eyes, trying again. She succeeded, and then sighed deeply. “You’re really burning up. Come on, I’ll get you some water.”

Abby stood up and held her hands out in case Ellie wanted some help. Ellie sat there until she noticed Abby was offering, and she stood up on her own out of defiance. Abby left the bathroom, waiting for Ellie to follow behind. After a minute passed, Abby went back in. Ellie was still standing there, looking at her reflection in the mirror. Abby imagined she was talking to herself, convincing herself to get to the couch without assistance. She’d done the same once.

Abby went to Ellie’s side, and silently offered to guide her. Ellie shook her head. Abby sighed, fed up with the Miss Independent routine. “Just let me help you,” she said. Ellie finally gave in.

Once in the living room, Abby led Ellie to the couch. She helped Ellie lay down, and covered her with a blanket. She went into the kitchen and brought a glass of water out, and put it on the ground by the couch. “Water,” she said. “You should drink some when you’re able.” Abby stood up. The sound of heavy rain droned on in the background. “The storm will probably last all day.”

Ellie said nothing, so Abby turned and went into the kitchen to make herself something to eat. When Abby came back through the room, Ellie was asleep.

The rain lasted the rest of the day as expected, so Abby spent it inside. She had been wanting to reorganize some things in her room, and she took the time to do it now. When the rain lightened up a little, she got a radio call that gave her the address to the home where the Johnsons were temporarily residing. She left right before dark, walking the short distance. She did a sweep of the area, and saw no infected. She made her way back home as night fell.

This simple routine had become her life now, and it felt good. She had grown up in these societies, and this one felt the most stable out of the three she’d been a part of. This one had no wars, no loss like she’d known before. Abby had been up against a few rogue individuals, but none strong enough to threaten the town. Everyone in Texline was happy and healthy, as much as they could be. Even Lev seemed comfortable, and they’d had problems with finding a settlement in the years prior.

Back home, Abby made her final meal of the day and checked on Ellie. Abby had to admit she almost looked peaceful while sleeping. Her features softened when she wasn’t endlessly lost in thought or stubbornly standing her ground over something minor. And, when she wasn’t trying to kill Abby, she was admittedly beautiful.

Loyalties had meant everything to Abby once. There was no wrong that could not be set right, no nuance between the black and white. As she’d gotten older, she’d become more aware of her biases. Something in her past was enraged at the idea of Ellie in her home, but something in her future dismissed the anger, so Abby went back down the hall to her room, resolved to carry on in her efforts.

[sangoqueenkoko]

VARIOUS

how they celebrate Christmas with you

headcanons

MAIN MASTERLIST

(other masterlists listed on main^^)

.

Summary: It's Christmas in Teyvat and can be celebrated differently as to how each person wants.

Warnings? Nope! Just some Christmas-y fluff!

Contains (in order): Kujou Sara, Raiden Ei, Jean Gunnhildr and Ningguang.

Mentions characters above, as well as Yae Miko and Barbara

This is a Secret Santa gift for @cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme! Hope you like it!

This will be my last fic of 2023! So Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Kujou Sara

Christmas is one of the few times a year that Kujou Sara can actually have a relaxing day, the others being your birthday as well as her own. She doesn't really think her birthday is important, but she knows that you have special care for it, as you try to make it the best day of the year for her.

ahem

On Sara's last day of work for the holidays, she came back to your shared Minka, only to be greeted by the usual yearly occurrence, the decorations scattered around the main sitting room in their respective boxes. Lights decorating the panes of the windows, nothing too bright and brash, they're soft and calming.

"(Y/N)?" She asked as she took off her Geta at the front door before walking into the main room, the areas smelling rather... sweet. A familiar scent to her. Hato Sabure. One of her favourites.

"Oh, Sara!" You said as you put the tray of freshly baked cookies down on the cooling rack before going over to hug her, "You're finally home! I've made some of your favourite cookies for the holidays. And no" you said as she already had a hand out towards the already cooled batch, "non for now."

"Oh," she frowned, a frown only you could just about resist.

Raiden Ei

Even if the Goddess of Electro has her duties to take care of towards the end of the year, there is always at least one person inside Tenshukaku who is there to keep up the Goddess' spirits.

And that is you.

You come between Ei's meditation breaks with some dango milk and sweet treats. She will forever love you for it.

And to make her feel the festive spirits, you have a small Christmas tree in her main chambers decorated with her favourite types of decorations, sweet shapes too. Also walking around the city seemed to make her happier, better than an eternal state of meditation. And it wouldn't be a trip into the city if she didn't collect one or two sugary treats for the journey.

Yae Miko even came down from the Narukami Shrine to join the both of you, she's genuinely happy that you've managed to bring Ei out of her own confinement. You're happy to be a third wheel in their conversations as you know that they still have things to catch up on.

Jean Gunnhildr

The two of you celebrate with Barbara, she also sees you like a big sister, she adores you, and you let her rehearse the little tunes she writes. Especially on Christmas, or Christkind, when all around Mondstadt there would be the sounds of the traditional Christkind music sung.

She would skip away to be with her friends, leaving you and Jean alone.

The both of you would walk around the market, also known as Christkindlmarkt, where formalities would be dropped and you two could be sweet together.

In my opinion, I don't see Jean as the type of person to hold hands in public, but I can see her letting you hook an arm around hers as you walk, that way she really knows you're with her.

Your favourite part of the festive season is when other places traditionally open their presents on the morning of the 25th, whereas in Mondstadt, the opening of the presents would be held in the evening of the 24th.

When dinner has been eaten and everywhere has been tidied, presents would be under the tree to be opened.

You got her favourite picture of you two put into a fancy yet simple picture frame to sit on her desk in the Favonius Headquarters.

Ningguang

This woman!

Sugar mother.

She will get you whatever you want! A certain type of clothing just outside your price range? She'll get it for you. Trinkets? She got it. You name it, she's already bought it.

When you buy her things, she will treasure them like a shrine as you bought them with your own hard-earned money, no matter what it may be.

Christmas isn't really a major celebration in Liyue like other nations, it's treated as a lighthearted day. It is celebrated for one day and one day only, and that is the 25th.

But that doesn't stop the festive feelings circulating around the nation.

There’s no single traditional Christmas dinner in China Liyue, but it’s common for couples to go to restaurants and enjoy grand meals like Peking Duck as a traditional Christmas feast.

The fast food chains advertise fried chicken as a Christmas dinner. Fried chicken is already a major Christmas tradition in Inazuma, and due to marketing, it’s becoming a tradition in some major Liyue cities as well.

Other nations have large Christmas trees covered in bright lights and ornaments and decorate their homes with wreaths, bows, and poinsettias. People also display statues and figurines of Santa Claus.

Whereas in Liyue, Christmas decorations do have some unique characteristics. For one thing, you won’t find nativity scenes among decorations in public or in homes. Some people also make their own ornaments out of paper. Or have them be made for you, like what Ningguang does.

But you always managed to get her to make some paper decorations with you, no matter how many times you asked. She doesn't like the idea of the craft, but she makes things like she's the master of said craft.

[fanfic-the-wish-your-heart-makes]

Gotham Characters Going to a Winter Market with the Reader ☃️❄🐧🤍

Reader: no named gender/religion Warnings: short alcohol mention (in Harvey's part) & mention of canon murder (in Oswald's part - no spoilers though👍) Setting: probably the first season (I'm new to the fandom :))

Edward Nygma: Are you allergic to something or is there something that you dislike as much as he dislikes onions? He probably checked beforehand - which means that there will also be related riddles 😁 He also made sure to check the weather forecast, and pack accordingly. It would do him so good to be in a public space with someone he loves who's not afraid to be seen with him.

Barbara Kean: You'll definitely spend a lot of time on preparing, helping each other pick cute winter outfits, and making sure that they're warm enough for a long time. You two have some shopping to do🤗 She'll buy you anything you want. Food, clothes, accessories, you name it. If you aren't looking for anything, she'll make sure that you're included in her process of deciding what to buy. Which is so difficult: she looks good in anything - and will happily take that compliment ;)

Oswald Cobblepot: Oh no, this poor guy will probably be freezing by the end! When he does shady business, he's got a quick tempo, and meetings outside are usually for killing someone quickly, not for for walking through a big market twice to make sure that you haven't missed a booth, and certainly not for standing in the cold waiting for your food! Oswald's a quivering mess when you're on your way back. I guess you'll just have to...huddle together like penguins ;)

Jim Gordon: He had to reschedule so many times, it's a wonder the market is still there 😂 When he does finally have time though, it will be the most relaxing thing he's done in a long time. You'll often look towards him to see him smiling, body relaxed - save for the parts of him that are cold. I've never seen this guy wear a hat 😆 "Are you sure you're warm enough, Jim?" ("Do I need to warm you up?")

Harvey Bullock: Now him I can imagine with a hat 😄! Comfort's important to him, and that counts for his as well as the comfort of people he loves. He might not have lots of warm clothing articles on him - after all, he takes great care not to pack stuff that might slow him down on his job and in consequence keep him from spending time with loved ones - but he would be more than happy to hug you tight, and maybe buy you something like warmer gloves or a nice warm cap. Other than Jim, he'll also actually show up on one of the first tries. "To hell with the criminals! Let Santa deal with that during winter!" So you might even have time to go there together for more than once 🤗 The two of you will have a great time, just make sure that he doesn't drink too much mulled wine ;)

[mermaidenmystic]

"This round medallion of a mermaid is just one of the decorations on the outside of the Santa Barbara Courthouse. First the sculpture was made, then cement was poured into the mold that was left by the sculpture. Finally, the round disk was attached to the wall of the building." ~ Art Block Collections

[rjzimmerman]

Excerpt from this press release from the Department of the Interior:

Today, the Biden-Harris Administration announced that NOAA is designating 4,543 square miles of coastal and offshore waters along 116 miles of California’s central coast as America’s 17th national marine sanctuary. Chumash Heritage National Marine Sanctuary will conserve the area’s diverse range of marine life and celebrate Indigenous peoples’ connections to the region. It is the third largest sanctuary in the National Marine Sanctuary System.

The sanctuary designation advances President Biden’s ocean conservation legacy and his America the Beautiful Initiative, which supports locally-led collaborative conservation efforts across the country and sets a national goal of protecting, conserving and restoring at least 30% of U.S. lands and waters by 2030. With this designation, the Biden-Harris Administration has now conserved more than 45 million acres of lands and waters.

Stretching from just south of Diablo Canyon Power Plant in San Luis Obispo County to the Gaviota Coast in Santa Barbara County, the sanctuary will bring comprehensive community- and ecosystem-based management to nationally significant natural, historical, archeological and cultural resources — including kelp forests, rocky reefs, sandy beaches, underwater mountains and more than 200 NOAA-documented shipwrecks.

The sanctuary’s boundaries exclude areas where future subsea electrical transmission cables and floating offshore substations could be installed outside the sanctuary to connect the Morro Bay Wind Energy Area to the electrical power grid at Morro Bay and Diablo Canyon Power Plant, ensuring that the sanctuary meets both conservation and clean energy goals. NOAA will consider a potential expansion of the sanctuary in the coming years, after transmission cables have been laid. 

This sanctuary designation is the result of a decade of work by Tribes, Indigenous Peoples, community leaders, organizations, businesses, state and local officials, and members of Congress — including then-Senator and now Vice President Kamala Harris — to develop and advance the vision for the Chumash Heritage National Marine Sanctuary.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Next we’ve got the Shannon stories!

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟 (omg poor eddie! He’s really going through it I mean he’s left his son in the care of almost strangers, he’s had to give up hope of finding shannon, he’s finally accepted his sexuality, and then the first time he wakes up after hooking up with a guy it’s to a gun in his face, the woman who’s still technically his wife, his hookup’s ex, and taylor kelly! It’s really his worst nightmare and I’m LOVING it!!!)

🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼 (major props on the tsunami arc it was super well done! Now bring on the lawsuit!)

- PCA <3

YEAH SHANNON!

96 for 🧟 (Yeah I put him through it!!!!! But maybe some clarity this chapter?? Maybe??):

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Actually, he really hopes there’s… Well, he hopes there’s a second time on the horizon. Maybe more than just a second time. But, then again, maybe after the disaster that was this morning, Buck won’t be interested. 

Everyone sort of waits in the kitchen of the mansion Eddie and Buck broke into, awkward and uncomfortable. Except the younger redhead. Taylor? She sits on the counter, eating one of the raided snacks from the cupboard. She seems completely at ease with this scenario. Eddie thinks she must be certifiably insane. 

“You guys are acting like there’s zero relief in knowing the other person is alive,” she sighs, crunching on a chip. “Get over the melodrama and talk it out or whatever it is you’re going to do.”

“Thanks for the advice,” Eddie grumbles. 

“Hey, don’t give me lip,” she says. “I know all about you.”

Eddie shoots Shannon a more withering look than he intends. Her face burns red.

“Taylor is right,” Shannon says, voice tight. “We do need to talk.”

Eddie nods. “Yeah. We do.”

Then, because it seems wrong to abandon Buck with his ex and what appears to be a demon, he turns to his… Wait, what is he? Friend? Lover? Traveling companion? Whatever. He turns to Buck.

“You good?” He asks.

Buck nods tightly. “Peachy.”

“Alright,” Eddie says. “See you soon.”

“If I don’t shoot one of you,” Taylor smiles. 

“Taylor,” Abby hisses. 

“Where should we talk?” Shannon asks as they walk away. 

“Uh… Anywhere but the movie theater,” Eddie says. 

Shannon looks confused. “Fine. Backyard?”

“Fine.”

Neither of them says another word again until they are outside, with the french doors shut behind them. 

It’s a windy day.  Not cool. Just mild and breezy. Shannon’s hair blows in her face a little. She keeps brushing it out of the way, irritated. 

“Where’s Chris?” She asks immediately. “Is he… Is he alive?”

“Yes, he’s alive. He’s perfectly fine,” Eddie replies, voice more defensive than he expects. “Glad you care.”

From the immediate flash of fury in her eyes, he can tell this last part was the exact wrong thing to say. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” She demands. “You have no idea what it would be like not knowing if my son had been killed.” 

“Well, then why would you leave absolutely zero indication on how to find you? How the hell was I supposed to tell you he’s fine, Shannon?” Eddie fires back. “I brought him across the country in a damn zombie apocalypse to find you, and you were just gone!”

She laughs bitterly. “How was I supposed to know you’d do that, huh? You wouldn’t come when everything was fine!”

“That’s not fair!” He argues. 

“Is it not?”

“I was too fucked up at first, Shannon! Being over there fucked me up a little, okay? And then… And then I thought you’d come back. If not for me, then for Christopher.”

Her expression falls. She sighs.

“I thought I would, too.”

There’s a prolonged silence after that. The wind is the only thing that seems to keep up the argument, picking up speed and starting to howl a little. Eddie feels it in his bones. 

“Where is he?” Shannon asks eventually. 

“The settlement where Buck is from,” Eddie says. “North of Santa Barbara. I didn’t think it was safe to bring him into the city.”

She nods. “That was smart.”

“Yeah, I don’t regret it, given how well the trip has gone,” Eddie grumbles. 

“You sleep with men now?” She asks. 

Eddie flushes. “Uh, well just him. At this point.”

---

33 for 🔼 (THANKS! and yesssss lawsuit):

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“Yeah,” she replies. “So just… I guess just tell me if you need me to take him. Or if you want to split the cost of the appointment, I can-”

“Oh, it’s covered. LAFD takes mental health pretty seriously these days. Even for dependents.” 

“Well, good,” Shannon says. “That’s good.”

There’s a pause. Then…

“Shannon, that applies to spouses, too. Just so you know.” 

Shannon swallows. She’s never been to therapy before. She either didn’t have the money, or when Eddie’s military benefits might have covered it, the time. She was always taking care of someone. Chris. Eddie, when he first got home. Her mother. 

What’s stopping her now? 

Well, an impending baby. But she’s still got thirteen weeks. Theoretically. 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she tells Eddie. “And maybe you should, too.”

“Me?” 

“Don’t play dumb,” Shannon warns.

Another, longer pause.

“I’ll think about it.” 

After they hang up, Shannon starts doing research. She makes an appointment. She doesn’t know if Eddie ever does.