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soapoet · 1 year

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what's next in love...? [ singles ]

detailed af.

like & rb if it resonates ♡

01.

it seems like you've been living life half awake, daydreaming of many scenarios you'd wish come true. even in established relationships you may find yourself wishing for more of something. you may have been told your ideals are naive, to lay off the romcoms and fics and be a little more realistic. you may have found yourself excited at every prospect of new love, giddy and involved, endlessly curious and a true lover of the rose coloured glasses. and perhaps you've found plenty of reasons to rejoice, but somehow things eventually trickle down and get into the mundane and the routines. and it frustrates you. so much. is there really no one out there whose loving gestures and kind words don't become clockwork, expected chores and scripted events?

there is. and this one feels a little 'too good to be true'. you yourself may sooner rather than later find yourself pinching your arm to check if you're actually awake. i suggest you try to hold back on the told-you-so's to the naysayers, as some of them have your best interest at heart. and not only that, but will provide a lot of guidance and support in terms of navigating this next chapter in love. it'll be a bit of a whirlwind and a maze, but with much promise at the end as a reward.

if you've been sitting on some sort of project, waiting to launch yourself into a new endeavour, you should get back on track. especially if you've been procrastinating. somewhere down that path, there's a person you ought to meet. they relate to your goals somehow, perhaps having done the same themselves before. they have a lot to teach you and will become a priceless source of support, but don't expect things to be handed to you. your work is your own and your rewards will be bigger and better if you can in the future look back and say, damn, look at what i did, i achieved all that! that's of course not to say you can't find help from those around you. definitely ask for assistance and support when you need it. but to come out on the other side and say you made it, ideally you paved your own way for plenty of it because you deserve the final applause and praise so much. believe in yourself and don't let the little voice in the back of your head make you doubt yourself and your ideas.

this person seems like a bit of a flirt. not in a way that should raise any concerns, as they are a very loyal person. they actually make it known loud and clear if they're already spoken for, and enjoy flaunting their partner in many ways. this is a person who will bring up your achievements and strengths at a social gathering, not to flex having you at their arm, but to genuinely shine a spotlight on you. especially if it'll get you flustered. they have a very playful energy to them that's endearing and youthful regardless of their actual age. a little bit of a peter pan vibe where they'll retain their young spirit well into their retirement. they're very easy-going and likeable, and have a lot of friends, and may connect you to a ton of new people. expect your social life to explode as a result of this connection, but at the same time be sure to make time for the friends and supporters that you have right now.

this person is used to being the centre of attention, not just socially, but professionally too. they may have a very visible job or hobbies that connect them to an audience of some kind within their chosen field. their energy is very contagious and fun, though that doesn't mean they're entirely air-headed and incapable of taking things seriously. i'm strongly getting that either they or someone close to them has struggled with a physical or mental illness for a good part of their life, so they have developed almost like an antenna to pick up on things going on that aren't being said out loud. especially if you're someone who frequently avoids bringing up your problems as to not burden others, or have a difficult time reaching out for support and being honest about how things affect you, you can rest assured that this person will quickly try to learn how to read you, or even outright ask how they can best assist you when you're struggling or even request some sort of secret code that you can use to communicate your unease so that they can quickly come to your aid.

they have a little bit of a problem taking their own concerns seriously. they seem to cope through distractions mostly. a positive in this is that they don't let things that are out of their control bother them and they do the best they can with what they got at any given time. a true optimist, but a negative aspect is that they may avoid facing their demons and try to outrun their problems. this can manifest itself with workaholic tendencies and a packed schedule in general. there might be some sort of saviour complex involved, too, in which they feel compelled to help everyone else and neglect their own needs. towards you in particular i'm getting a lot of pda and quality time. you slow them down a bit and help them stop to smell the roses. they'll be surprised by how much they've longed for peace and simplicity, and they find that solace and ease with you and it really heals them on a deep level, which in turn amps up the energy and effort they show you. goodbye routine lovers, honestly. this one walks the talk and really keeps up the pace long after the honeymoon phase.

some additional details: i'm not getting a lot in terms of appearance, which may suggest that you already know them, or at least know of them, even if they don't know of you yet. it's possible that you share mutual friends or interests or work within the same field. there is a big emphasis on their voice, and things may start off as long-distance with hours upon hours on the phone. astrological things that appear significant: leo, pisces, the sun, mercury, 11th house, 2nd house.

02.

you've been flying solo for a while now. perhaps you grew tired of, or dare i say even gave up on love? it may have seemed like there just aren't as many fish in the sea as promised. at least none that you could take seriously. and serious is what you want. and serious is what you're getting.

first and foremost i must say your standards aren't too high. do not feel ashamed of what you want, and don't let anyone tell you that you need to set realistic expectations. they're exactly where they need to be and you're attracting the quality you seek. you've ventured further out to sea to find yourself a bigger catch. the journey hasn't been easy, but it has helped you grow tremendously. i'm strongly getting that your past experiences have really helped you fine tune your build-a-bae, so to speak, and there's no more reconfiguring to do. you know what you want and what you don't want, how much of this and how much of that. the next lessons for you to learn in love are ones you will not tackle on your own, but alongside a long-term partner who is at your level. long gone are the days of disappointments and putting up with feeling like you're outgrowing your partner, because this next person is mature and ready to grow with you.

this person is what fairytales would call your true love. in as many ways as you are one and the same, you differ, sometimes wildly so. if you're an introvert, they're an extrovert. if you seek comfort, they seek adventure. it's your goals and dreams and values that hold hands in agreement, and that builds up a strong foundation for your connection. if you have a lot of feminine energy, they have a lot of masculine energy. you two may even look like opposites in some ways, or come from different cultures. and do not fret, because your differences will be a blessing, not a curse. this isn't a re-run of a love where you felt like you weren't seen or heard and were made to bend. there is a distinct element of give and take here. a beautiful balance wherein they enjoy your world and your ways, and don't force you to change any of it, and you feel compelled out of genuine desire to take their hand and let them show and share their world with you. and you're able to coexist perfectly fine in a way that makes you both feel fulfilled and at ease.

things may stall a little at first, because this person will have a bit of whiplash when the two of you meet. they may feel as if you stepped right out of their dreams in a way. like a ghost from their childhood when they were around their parents or grandparents and thought of the person they'd grow old with some day. and suddenly you're there, a distant memory made flesh, a memory forgotten long ago making a big splash as it resurfaces. but once they gather themselves i see that they'll be very direct in their pursuit of you. and it's quite the old school courting, too. they make their intentions clear and have the follow-through to walk their talk. this is a very open and honest person, although they appear a bit emotionally disconnected at times. it's not due to a lack of emotional sensitivity, but processing things before acting or speaking is a part of their character. they're very serious in love, and don't seem to fit into the modern age of tinder and hookups.

they may have a strong connection to the sea, live by the ocean, look mediterranean, or enjoy activities related to water. their features in general leans darker. be it their eyes, hair, skin, or the way they dress. there is something specifically drawing me to their hands. perhaps they work with their hands, are a very crafty person, or have a physically demanding job. or simply have very attractive hands that you would take note of. physical touch is important to them, and they are very protective of their loved ones.

speaking of loved ones, they have strong familial ties and may come from a big family. i'm also strongly getting that they come from money, though without the nepotism often associated with it. their father in particular may have made it a point to raise them with a lot of discipline and drive to make something of themselves and not just rely on a trustfund. this person is ambitious and a hard worker, and prefers to be involved and hands-on with what they do. i'm also seeing siblings playing a big role in your connection. one in particular could connect with you in a meaningful way. this family is one that will welcome you with open arms and you will feel as though you have gained another family to call your own. if you have any childhood wounds related to family, this one takes found family quite literally.

some additional details: travelling and holidays figure strongly. things get taken to the next level rather quickly because there is a lack of doubt involved. they're very generous with their time and money. this has massive signs of marriage. astrological things that appear significant: aries, taurus, saturn, the moon, the 4th house, the 9th house.

03.

it seems like you're stuck on something, or someone. and that situation didn't treat you fairly. this feels less like betrayal and more like you spent some time hauling dead weight around. in vain, i might add. either you already have or will soon drop it and move on. it might be difficult, though, and i apologise if i'm overstepping here, but in part it's due to an inability to truly let go on your part. if you want to get even, or show someone what they lost, do it by moving on with grace and making decisions for yourself and your own growth and success. beware of people around you who would gladly take advantage of your vulnerability right now. even if it feels like a rebound would benefit you, it'll only hurt you if you find yourself looking over the shoulder of another person to see if the one who hurt you sees and is affected by it. what will truly help you heal is to dust yourself off and focus on feeling whole within yourself. and don't worry, you didn't stumble into yet another love reading that will tell you, well, tough luck, no love for you, work on yourself! whilst i certainly will call you to take care of yourself and pursue things that serve you and your growth, i will also go over what's coming next.

and that's something a little eerie. you may have someone in your past, who you consciously or subconsciously measure everyone else up to. perhaps this was the one that got away, or someone you met at the wrong time. in one way or another, there is a situation you wish had happened differently. in your pursuit of finding yourself again and some solid ground to stand on after enduring stormy seas, you may run into someone who is eerily similar to someone you once knew. but at the right time, now. for some of you this may very well be the exact person you already have history with, or could've had history with, though with major improvements from the previous season. but for many this is just an oddly familiar stranger who gives you a bit of deja vu. they share many similarities with someone you've been attracted to, just less red flags and complications.

this person seems rather cerebral. their job, studies, or hobbies may revolve around psychology, literature, or science. they're very good with their words, both written and spoken. they can also be quite blunt, but not with malicious intent. they aren't afraid of speaking their mind, and may be quite passionate about their opinions. they're a great teacher, and a good student, too. they enjoy delving deeply into things and soak up new information like a sponge. they'll greatly value your opinion and perspective, and the two of you may engage in debates or discussions about a variety of topics. intellectually speaking you're on the same wavelength and seem to understand each other intuitively.

it's very possible that this starts off platonic. whilst you may be ready to jump into a relationship with them from the start, they prefer to take things slowly and really get to know you first. you may worry that the spark between you will fade over time, but this one is a lesson of patience and building a strong connection as a foundation first. especially if in the past you've been quick to hurt or get hurt, you're about to learn how differently a lover will treat you when you're first and foremost a dear friend. this connection has the potential of some serious power couple themes in the long run. the two of you feel almost dangerous as duo, but i think that just goes to show that the initial spark won't fade and actually benefit from a bit of a slow burn before the fire starts raging at full force.

there is a lot of chemistry between the two of you. a very push-and-pull, engaging, and intoxicating energy. you'll keep each other on your toes in a way that keeps things feeling fresh and exciting. you're partners in crime and the world appears to be your playground. any past heartbreaks and feelings of lack, even lackluster, is gone and replaced with adventure and passion. you're very attracted to them, and they to you, in a way that could be classified as an addiction if it weren't for the fact that the side effects are predominantly positive. the two of you may collaborate on some kind of project, and your joint efforts are sure to be a success. though you do many things together, you also support each other in your separate endeavours. there may be a bit of mutual artist and muse dynamic here, wherein you inspire them and they inspire you. you both value your individuality, and hype each other up.

this person feels devilish in some way. a maverick of sorts. they're taller, perhaps lanky, and there is an unconventional attractiveness to them. they have a unique look that really pulls you in and makes them stand out anywhere they go. they might dress in a way that makes them different from the crowd. they really march to the beat of their own drum. i'm not getting much in terms of family, so they may be very independent and live a life separate from family, or they may have some wounds in regards to their home life that they keep their walls up over. they take their friendships very seriously, many of them are ones they'd take a bullet for. this is a very ride or die type of person. they're very resilient and if they've known terrible hardships in their past, you'll be in awe of their personal strength and ability to get back up when they're knocked down.

some additional details: music is very relevant to the point where you should expect to receive a personalised playlist as a way for them to communicate their feelings for you. they might be musically inclined and play an instrument. astrological things that appear significant: scorpio, aquarius, aries, pluto, uranus, 3rd house, 10th house, 12th house.

#energy reading #spiritual guidance #pac reading #spirituality #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a card #love reading #soapy.post #loa

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dathomirdumpsterfire · 6 months

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Chat writes the plot! Time for more 👑🐲🐟 KotD!

🔥🔥 don't forget to reblog tysm! 🔥🔥

Want to be on the tag list? -> Comment with 'tag me!' Have an idea for next chapter or clicked the wrong option? -> Reblog about it! Check the bottom for the Ao3 link. Latest chapter is below the cut!🔥

~King of the Dragonfish: Chapter 16 ~

When he returns from hunting treasure to find the cave empty of jedi, his scream of rage is enough to make the walls shudder and rain with scree. Maul reaches out in the force, throwing a wide net of energy out with the intent to hunt Kenobi and drag him back here. Retribution would be paid in blood for this-

He finds the jedi's energy signature just a little ways away, stationary. Lambent. The sith is brought up short, confused. Taken aback even.

Was this an escape attempt… or not?

Lashing down on his rage, setting aside judgment for a moment, Maul leaves his pot and box on the shore, and returns to the water to seek the jedi through the force. He swims fast and true for less than a minute, left and right and around…

The dragonfish sith breeches the pocket of his own bedroom cave, and rises up in a quiet rush of shedding water. Kenobi is here? Here? He went wandering, but not to his lightsaber or the surface, but here?

Maul sways his way through the caves and comes up on his own bed. There the jedi lies, buried under makeshift blankets, curled in on himself, shivering.

The sith looks around in disbelief. There on the shelf of his nightstand is his saberstaff, he leans close sniffing… not a trace of skin scent on it. Kenobi had not come looking for a weapon to kill him with then.

The last embers of his rage dowse themselves as he returns his attention to the cold little ball of stewjon.

“Jjjedi,” he whispers thoughtfully, running his claws through salt-crisp hair. “Always leaving behind the heat you need, awake or asleep. What a pathetic thing you are.”

Maul withdraws, considering the situation. Either Kenobi needed to be brought to heat, or heat needed to be brought to Kenobi. He ponders it briefly, but easily decides that he likes the jedi to be in his bed.

He goes, gathers the magma ball from the second prison cave, and returns. It is cooled somewhat, so he slices it in half with his saber like an orange, revealing the cherry red center. The freshly unmasked lava blooms with heat, rapidly forming a new black crushed shell on its surface.

Maul situates one of the halves just so, pointing it's radiant heat toward the bed. Then, he climbs in, finding his way under covers to drag his Kenobi to him. He discovers bare skin, offering him easy access to touch new places. The variety of textures is fascinating.

Predictably, when faced with heat and weight and a living body, the jedi seeks him out like a plant turning to the sun. Limbs unclench and the ball of him eases open. Arms come winding around his back, and a scruffy face presses to his shoulder.

Kenobi sighs with contentment at his presence, and Maul feels… he feels…

The words for this. These too are missing from his memory of before. Or perhaps he never had them.

Darth Maul draws his prisoner close, and waits for him to wake. The other man’s force signature brightens at one point, perhaps touching consciousness, but he drifts back down again without a word.

It is hours before the jedi truly stirs, groaning at the back of his throat as he peers blearily around.

“Kenobi,” Maul says, catching the man's chin in his fingers and drawing that watery gaze toward him.

The jedi blinks a few times, focus slow to resolve. “Where am I?” he asks.

He hums, fingers playing through that ginger beard. Soft. So soft. “Where you are meant to be.”

With a muddled huff, Kenobi turns to look around, not satisfied with his answer. “I remember getting bored and going exploring, and then I found a cave with… things. Art and trinkets… was I dreaming?”

“Mmno,” the sith denies, “you have found my cave, and put yourself in my bed. This is... good.”

The jedi scrubs a hand over his face, and back through his hair. Maul runs a hand down his bare side, then back up again.

“Sorry. I'm… not really parsing anything,” Kenobi replies.

Maul scoffs, “Because you left the heat, again. You are too weak to survive the cold. I have scolded you before but you did not listen. Hear me now: I forbid you from leaving warm places again unless I am there to watch you.”

Kenobi sloughs back down, loose limbed in his hold. “...”

“Jedi,” he says warningly at the silence, leaning in toward the other man's face. “Obey me.”

That tired, watery blue gaze lifts to his. “Mmnnn?”

So unfocused. So soft and pliant. Irresistible.

Maul’s eyes are drawn to chapped pink lips where the lower one is loose and slightly parted from the top. He doesn't question the stray desire to taste the cracked texture of it. The sith presses close, licking those lips, slipping his tongue inside a slack mouth.

“Ah,” Kenobi says softly, letting him take what he wants. His smooth tongue slides against Maul's, reactive to the languid stroking of his.

The dragonfish sith runs his claws gently down the back of his prisoner, careful not to cut unintentionally, until back becomes backside. He cups the handful of curve, squeezes and pulls, drawing their hips closer together.

The jedi turns his head away, hiding in Maul's neck. “Please, I don't…”

“Hnn?” he asks, enthralled with the way Kenobi’s soft belly and scattering of body hair felt against his own smooth stomach.

“Just hold me and let me sleep. I just want to rest,” the man pleads softly.

He tsks, “If you would stay where I put you, your strength would not wane.”

Kenobi sighs gustily, relaxing when Maul's hand returns to petting the pale flesh of him higher up. Straying places that are personal, but not quite so personal. The jedi comes back out of hiding when the trend continues. His eyes look like they struggle to stay open.

“I have gifts for you,” Maul tells him, “To earn your favor.”

“It isn't something that can or should be earned with material things,” Kenobi mumbles.

“Jedi drivel,” he counters. “Nice and necessary things are a fair measure of who to show favor to.”

Unable to help himself, the sith's claw skim just a little lower, teasing the sensitive line of skin between the other man's low back and ass. Kenobi groans, and his hips rock.

“Nng,” the pale man says simply, brows drawing faintly upward in pleasure.

Maul kisses him again, far more gently than he deserves, then settles down. “Sleep, Kenobi. Regain your strength. When you wake I will show you your gifts.”

For once, the witless jedi does as he's told.

To be continued...

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thehighpriestexx420 · 11 months

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To find out, pick a number/shape that you're most drawn to and that pops out to you the most. Don't overthink it, just take a look and choose what comes first to your mind!

This reading entails 1 card each for your energy in this connection, your challenge, the person you have in mind's energy in the connection, their challenge, and the unifying force (what brings you together/the energy that's shared between you/your energies combined).

This is a general/collective reading so just take what resonates and leave the rest. Tarot serves as guidance - it's up to you what you do with the information.

Pile 1 :

Your energy :

Judgement clarified by 7 of Pentacles -

It's time to make a decision & let go of any fears holding you back from crossing the threshold into the unknown. This time has come due to you questioning whether your investment in your connection has given sufficient rewards, or will give sufficient rewards.

Your Challenge :

6 of Pentacles clarified by Ace of Pentacles -

Your challenge is to make an offer of prosperous new beginnings to your person.

Your Person's Energy :

Temperance clarified by 6 of Swords -

Your person is healing & recovering from a difficult time.

Their Challenge :

The World clarified by Temperance -

While they've been gaining Temperance (healing, renewal, balance), they still have yet to reach the point to where they feel whole & complete. This is due to something blocking them - probably a gained belief from the difficult time they've gone through.

Unifying Force :

7 of Pentacles clarified by Daughter of Wands -

You both have a passionate vision for your connection & have been investing into it & contemplating it because of that.

The Romance Angels Oracle offers more insight into your situation so I decided to use it along with clarifiers. I hit the 10 page limit so I'll put the pics of these cards in a reblog.

Your Energy :

You Deserve Love - You are loveable! clarified by Ace of Wands -

One of the things holding you back from pursuing this connection is your insecurities & that you have a hard time believing people like you. Follow your passion! Just use good judgement & dont act in excess.

Their Energy :

True Love - This Is The Romance Of A Lifetime! clarified by The Devil, 2 of Wands, 5 of Pentacles -

They do really want to be with you but they also really struggle with negative thoughts. They're just now getting out of a period where they've lost something important. This could be an illness (I'm sensing general mental health issues), financial trouble, or a relationship.

Unifying Force -

Wedding - This situation involves a marriage clarified by The Hanged Man & 10 of Pentacles -

This is a time of inaction between you. There's either nothing you can do or you're perceiving it that way and are waiting for something to happen. Use this time to gain insight & perhaps look at things a different way. You're both waiting for some type of union between you - whether that's a relationship or marriage. This union will bring fulfillment & abundance.

It seems that your person has a habit of overthinking things & having anxieties. So this includes your connection. They may feel that they're not good enough for you or that they don't have enough to support you. You're picking up on their energy which is causing you to overthink as well. Have a candid & caring conversation about how you feel & lay everything out on the table. They just need time to heal.

✨If this reading resonates with you & you'd like a more detailed personal reading, feel free to check out the pricing for services I offer on the pinned post on my profile. Starting out at $5 per question. I hope this helped 💖✨

Pile 2 :

Your Energy :

Judgement clarified by Mother of Pentacles -

You're making a decision about a domestic issue or a patient & loving person who feels like family or lives with you. They may be needy & attached.

Your Challenge :

The Hanged Man clarified by Daughter of Wands -

Your challenge is to have patience for your passionate vision.

Their Energy :

Page of Swords clarified by 2 of Wands -

They're needlessly defensive about pursuing you.

Their Challenge :

2 of Chalices clarified by 10 of Swords & The Moon -

Their challenge is making a healthy & equal connection with you because they're living in illusions that are causing them uncertainty, fear, and sadness. Theyre really down about this situation to say the least.

Unifying Force :

5 of Wands clarified by 10 of Pentacles -

There is somewhat of a chaotic energy between you. Your thoughts are scattered & you don't know what to think about or how to obtain the fulfillment & abundance you want with each other.

The Romance Angels Oracle offers more insight into your situation so I decided to use it along with clarifiers. I hit the 10 page limit so I'll put the pics of these cards in a reblog.

Your Energy :

Attraction - You attract romanic love by enjoying the moment fully clarified by 2 of Pentacles & 4 of Cups -

It seems you're not noticing the opportunity before you. You're not recognizing how this situation can change because you're detached from the present. Try to ground yourself. Whatever challenges you've gone through in this connection has caused you to try to numb yourself.

Their Energy :

Give Your Relationship A Chance - Work on your relationship clarified by 7 of Swords, 3 of Pentacles, & 4 of Wands -

They're either hiding that they want to work on your relationship or they've lied about something that has caused you to have to put work in. It can require hard work & a team effort but having a healthy relationship will be a cause for celebration.

Unifying Force :

Forgiving And Learning - As you yand heal the past, you experience more love in the present clarified by 8 of Wands, The Moon, 10 of Swords, Mother of Swords, Father of Cups, & Justice -

You've gone through something difficult together. Your person's deeply rooted insecurities is a factor in why they've made the mistake they've made & because of this, they're fearful & uncertain about the future of your relationship. You've been particularly critical & you may have a reason to be. Because of their mistake, you have a decision to make - it's likely about whether or not you should leave this connection.

Pile 3 :

Your Energy :

3 of Pentacles clarified by Strength, Father of Swords, & The Magician -

You see this 3rd party situation as an immense task to overcome. You're being asked to have strength, confidence, and determination, to be fair, analytical, and objective, to empower yourself by consciously manifesting your desired outcome and by taking action.

Your Challenge :

4 of Pentacles clarified by The Star & Ace of Wands -

You're holding on too tightly to your desire to have a relationship. You're being asked to have faith & believe in your passionate vision. Letting go of control doesn't mean you'll lose someone or something. It just means you know you're stable with or without it and you're open to whatever is meant for you.

Their Energy :

The Hanged Man clarified by 3 of Cups, 3 of Swords, The Sun, & Ace of Pentacles -

They've sacrificed their desire to be with you to be in their current relationship. This breaks their heart because they see clearly that they want a prosperous beginning with you. They share the same passionate vision as you.

Their Challenge :

The Devil clarified by 8 of Swords, 7 of Swords, Wheel of Fortune, Daughter of Wands, 5 of Cups, & Father of Pentacles -

They're being held back from your connection because they feel trapped & powerless about feeling that they have to hide that they want to end their relationship in order to be with you. They need to release themselves from the illusion that they can't be in control of their own life.

Unifying Force :

Judgement clarified by 5 of Wands -

It's time to make a decision and rise above fear and overthinking in order to make it.

The Romance Angels Oracle offers more insight into your situation so I decided to use it along with clarifiers. I hit the 10 page limit so I'll put the pics of these cards in a reblog.

Your Energy :

Flirt - Extend your lighthearted energy to others - clarified by Strength -

You've gotten the Strength card twice so there's an emphasis here that you need to find the courage, compassion, and ability to manage your emotions within yourself. Don't take "flirt" literally - this wouldn't be a healthy foundation for the relationship you want to have as they're already in a closed relationship. But do relax, be outgoing, and enjoy their company. This opens you up to more positivity. You're also being invited to initiate the heart to heart conversation they want to have with you.

Their Energy :

Heart To Heart Conversations - Honestly discuss your feelings with eachother clarified by 7 of Pentacles, The World, & Daughter of Wands -

They're contemplating everything about this situation and what's stopping them from feeling whole and content. They have a passionate vision for your connection - they just feel stuck.

Unifying Force :

Healing Family Issues - Your love life benefits as you forgive your parents clarified by Father of Wands, 10 of Wands, & Ace of Cups -

They may have picked something up from a father figure that makes them struggle with having healthy relationships or a father figure is negatively influencing this connection - perhaps by not approving of you and approving of their current relationship. You both have a desire to be close with each other but you're avoidant. Their father didn't show them love.

Pile 4 :

Your Energy :

7 of Pentacles clarified by Death, Ace of Wands, Mother of Wands, & 3 of Swords -

You've recently gone through the ending of something domestic that's brought you heartbreak. You're contemplating on investing in your new idea - likely the renewal of a relationship.

Your Challenge -

3 of Swords clarified by The Hierophant, Temperance, & 8 of Pentacles -

Your challenge is to learn how to overcome your pain and heal. Seek therapy, research coping skills, self-help, etc.

Their Energy :

5 of Swords clarified by 6 of Wands, 7 of Pentacles, 2 of Swords, & 8 of Swords -

They've walked away from arguing with you

Their Challenge :

The Lovers clarified by 3 of Cups, 8 of Wands, The Devil, 4 of Swords, & Father of Cups -

They have to decide between you and someone else. This has caused them to feel stuck and struggle with the mental pressures. They need to be more diplomatic in this connection.

Unifying Force :

2 of Wands clarified by 9 of Pentacles -

You both want a healthy and happy home with eachother. Although there's an air of uncertainty, ultimately at the end of the day you both know you want this.

The Romance Angels Oracle offers more insight into your situation so I decided to use it along with clarifiers. I hit the 10 page limit so I'll put the pics of these cards in a reblog.

Your Energy :

Pay Attention To The Red Flags - The signs are cautioning you clarified by 9 of Cups, 7 of Swords, Daughter of Wands, 10 of Swords, The Lovers, & Father of Cups-

They promised bliss and harmony but in reality they were faced with a decision between you and someone else. You're the Father of Cups and since you appeared in his Challenge, you're also the goose in The Lovers card that they truly want to choose. I would still heed this card's warning by keeping your eyes open and not being quick to sweep things under the rug.

Their Energy :

Love Yourself First - Your self respect makes you more romantically attractive clarified by Son of Wands, Ace of Cups, Daughter of Swords, & 6 of Swords -

They may seem charming on the surface but this facade of perfection is covering deeply rooted insecurities. They used this charm to rizz you up but you ended up seeing through them which caused you to become spiteful & judgemental. They need to learn how to love themselves.

Unifying Force :

This Could Be The One - You've already met the romantic partner you seek clarified by 5 of Swords, Son of Swords, 4 of Wands, & Father of Swords -

If you lay down your weapons & steadily work on your relationship this could be the one for you. Try being more fair, analytical, & responsible + less brash & forceful.

Pile 5 :

Your Energy :

The World clarified by 8 of Cups, Strength, Father of Wands, & 9 of Swords -

You're able to keep your composure during conflict but your person isn't. Although this connection is fulfilling and very important to you, it's been going through a difficult time of toxicity, conflict, and/or stagnation.

Your Challenge :

Queen of Wands clarified by The Empress + Son of Cups (+ indicates the cards came out together) -

You're struggling to connect with your intuition regarding this connection and expressing your love & passion.

Their Energy :

The Devil clarified by 10 of Cups & Daughter of Cups -

They're being held back from their goals being accomplished with you because they're a sensitive person that struggles to deal with conflict, overthinking, and misinterpreting situations negatively.

Their Challenge :

2 of Wands clarified by 8 of Wands, The High Priestess, & 10 of Wands -

They're struggling with choosing where they want to go. There's something blocking them from connecting with their own insight.

Unifying Force :

Ace of Cups clarified by The Moon, Temperance, & The Devil -

Allow your love for each other to put out any conflict arising. Get in tune with your feelings and intuition & tune out any doubts and fears bringing confusion and uncertainty. You both have love for each other - trust in it and allow it to flow.

The Romance Angels Oracle offers more insight into your situation so I decided to use it along with clarifiers. I hit the 10 page limit so I'll put the pics of these cards in a reblog.

Your Energy :

Keep An Open Mind clarified by 7 of Pentacles, Temperance & 4 of Cups -

You're being asked to keep an open mind during this time of contemplation. There's hope for healing and renewal - part of your task is recognizing positive aspects of this connection & believing in it again.

Their Energy :

Heart To Heart Conversations clarified by Daughter of Cups, 5 of Pentacles, & 3 of Swords -

They want to have a honest heartfelt conversation with you about the anxieties and heartbreak they've been experiencing.

Unifying Force :

True Love clarified by The Magician, 4 of Pentacles, & 6 of Swords -

True love is worth taking action towards. With some will power and confidence, you both can move on to better times and stability.

Pile 6 :

Your Energy :

The World clarified by 10 of Swords, 7 of Wands, & 3 of Pentacles -

You've felt whole and complete in this connection but something has caused you to hit rock bottom and to have to find your inner strength and courage.

Your Challenge :

3 of Wands clarified by 7 of Swords, The Hanged Man, & Temperance -

You're questioning the future of this connection because there has been deception - probably about a 3rd party - and a lack of harmony.

Their Energy :

7 of Pentacles clarified by 5 of Swords, 3 of Cups, The High Priestess + 7 of Cups (+ indicates the cards came out together) -

They're contemplating the connection and why they self destructed + overindulged by bringing a 3rd party into the situation.

Their Challenge :

The Hanged Man clarified by Daughter of Pentacles, The Magician, & Ace of Cups + 6 of Cups + Mother of Pentacles (+ indicates the cards came out together) -

They're in limbo deciding who to take action towards. They had a new beginning with someone - probably an ex or old friend.

Unifying Force :

2 of Chalices clarified by 6 of Swords & 2 of Pentacles -

Your connection is changing for the better and moving on from a difficult time.

The Romance Angels Oracle offers more insight into your situation so I decided to use it along with clarifiers. I hit the 10 page limit so I'll put the pics of these cards in a reblog.

Your Energy :

Healing Family Issues clarified by Justice, 7 of Pentacles, & 10 of Swords -

You're in the midst of making a decision as to what will bringing healing.

Their Energy :

Deception clarified by 3 of Wands, Death, & 8 of Cups -

They either lied about the ending of a relationship/moving on from it or they've hidden that they're deciding between you and someone else.

Unifying Force :

Chemistry clarified by 10 of Pentacles, Son of Wands, & 5 of Cups -

Although there had been chemistry, fulfillment, and abundance in this connection, ultimately aspects of their personality were an illusion & has caused grief, disappointment, and/or an end to the connection.

I'm getting that for most of you, this relationship has completely ended and this is the cause for moving on to a better time.

For some, the relationship is healing and moving on to a better time.

This situation is very messy. You know your situation better than I do, especially because this is a general reading, but I do think that if this pile popped out significantly more than the others then moving on & healing means moving on from the situation entirely. Emotions aren't enough to sustain a relationship & your person is giving non-committal vibes. This whole reading is giving the sense that you deserve better than this.

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justaduckarts · 1 year

Note

“I… I don’t want to lose you again. Not in this life, too.” “You won’t, I promise.”

starholder!au? mayhaps....

Ouch. This one's gonna hurt.

Here we go!

Hey! This has some lore spoilers! (ish)

TW: Mentions of Death, Illness

Mortals were not meant for such power. Their bodies are too little and too weak. The amount of energy they'd need to perform even simple magic like healing is immense.

Any human finding themselves in possession of such magic would need a steady supply of energy to thrive.

The star fragments Pluto bestowed upon the gods were meant to ensure that you always had the strength needed to perform the star's abilities.

But you grew up isolated in a temple. And you were barely able to heal without fainting. In fact, you had fainted on your first meeting with him.

Sun and Moon reacted rather harshly to your budding friendship with Eclipse. They would claim it was for your own safety when you were sent to live in the tower with Moon.

The lunar god wasn't exactly unfriendly but you couldn't bring yourself to be close with him. Not when he casually uprooted your life just to keep you out of reach of the one person you felt comfortable around.

It was when Moon figured out you were praying to Eclipse that things took a truly awful turn. In order to prevent Eclipse from 'poisoning' your mind further, Moon enchanted the tower so that Eclipse's voice wouldn't reach you.

The star needs constant energy to thrive.

The star is your very life force.

With your bonds to the gods in ruins, you wilted rather quickly.

Until you were gone.

Moon carried a horrible guilt with him when he buried you. He was supposed to be taking care of you, and he had ensured you had all of the things humans need. Yet still...

Equally troubling was that the star never separated from you. It hadn't occurred to the gods until then just how permanent your bond with the star was. Perhaps ot was because humans exist purely in the physical. While gods live in things like moonlight and shadows.

Eclipse grieved you quietly. His hatred for Sun and Moon only growing as years trickled by.

Somewhere, in a village of no consequence, a child by the age of nine was playing merrily. When suddenly, for no reason at all, you fell to the ground and began to scream. Pain. Blinding white pain. It wasn't there, it wasn't this moment. But it was a memory so strong it shook you to your core.

And the memories kept coming. By the time you were thirteen, you'd gone back to being called by your name from your previous life.

By the time you were fifteen, you were running away from home.

It wasn't that you didn't love your family or your current life. But you'd made the mistake of healing someone after a terrible accident. And rumors about it had spread. Far enough for Sun to send his men looking for you.

How you resented the sun god. You'd always believed your death would be the end of your ties to him.

But it would seem fate had other plans.

It was in your 20's, while wandering from place to place, that another very important memory hit you.

It grasped you like a vice and left you misty eyed and red faced.

Eclipse.

Your friend.

In this life, you'd never prayed to the gods. Not once.

Now, you were clasping your hands together. You took a breath, looking around the little cottage you'd been renting. No one was here. No one to catch you.

"...Eclipse?"

Warmth spread over you. It settled around you like a weight. Like a heavy blanket.

"Hello?" He sounded confused. "Who... how are you calling upon me?"

"It's me," you said quietly. Tears starting pouring. A nervous laugh bubbled out of you. You came undone, explaining how you'd been reborn and how you were on the run from Sun and how you were still regaining your memories from your previous life.

Eclipse wasn't going to let them take you away from him again.

"Where are you, darling? I'll come fetch you right now." He sounded more than eager. Your face flushed despite the tears.

"You don't have to. Sun doesn't even know what I look like in this life-

"Please. I want to see you." His voice was so gentle. But also tired.

In the end, you caved and told Eclipse where you were. And as he said, he was there before the first light of dawn to collect you.

The moment you stepped outside the cottage to greet him, he swept you up. Four strong arms wrapped around you.

"It's really you," he laughed. "You're here. I- I've missed you more than I can say."

There were the tears again.

"Sorry for taking so long to get back," you said quietly, wrapping your arms around him.

"You're more than worth the wait," he gently set you back on your feet.

"Well," you smiled up at him. Your smile turned to panic when you saw that he too was crying. "Oh, Eclipse..." You gestured him closer. He knelt before you and you carefully wiped his tears.

"You're crying," you said quietly, "it's alright. I'm here now." Gingerly, you rested your forehead against his. He wrapped tightly around you once more.

"You're here." He took a breath. "Come home with me. Please."

Home?

Did you really want to commit yourself to another lifetime at the side of a god? Your life may not be glamorous, on the run. But at least you were finally free. You'd finally seen things like the ocean. Finally gotten to be your own person.

You cared about Eclipse deeply.

But if you went with him, would that be the end of your journey?

Clearly he remembered things you'd yet to remember. Was your relationship with him deeper than you knew?

"It's a very kind offer, Eclipse," you said quietly, "but I... don't know." You looked at him uncertainly. "I'm finally free."

"I would never cage you," he took up your hand gently, "but Sun... he knows you're out there. He'll keep searching. Please, let me protect you. I... I don't want to lose you again. Not in this life, too."

Vaguely, you thought that you were seeing something you shouldn't. A god in his moments of weakness.

"You won't, I promise," you smiled at him, "I... don't remember much yet. About us." You squeezed his hand with both of yours. "I want to keep running. There's so much I want to see. So much I want to try."

You smiled. "Maybe you should run with me."

What a novel idea. A god, running from all of his responsibilities.

"I couldn't," he shook his head. Well, he couldn't be gone for long.

You sighed, letting his hand go.

"Then it seems-

"Don't turn me away yet," Eclipse said, cupping your face tenderly. "Compromise with me. I beg you. I've only just gotten you back, I can't bear to see you leave so soon."

There was so much longing in his expression. It was enough to make your face burn.

"..." You looked back into your little cottage. You didn't really own a lot. A red cloak. A collection of Elusia's poems. A painting of a poppy field you'd made yourself.

"..." You looked back at Eclipse, kneeling on the ground and looking at you. Waiting. Hoping.

With a sigh, you smiled once more.

"I will make you a deal. You gods like deals, don't you?"

"What sort of deal?" Eclipse crossed his arms. He knew you to be cunning, but he never expected you to be so bold. Perhaps it was because you'd had the chance to live so free. He suspected he would grow to love this boldness, though. Just as he had loved you when you were timid.

"I will go with you. But," you held up a finger, "you must keep your word. You must tell me that I am free to leave whenever I please. And I will not go as your servant. I will only go as your equal."

Oh. You'd grown very bold. Eclipse couldn't help but grin.

"My equal? When you're so small?" He teased, propping his chin in his hand. He delighted in the way your blush darkened. Well, you were still just as easy to fluster.

"I'm- I'm not small," you crossed your arms, "it's you whose absurdly large."

"Is that so?" He laughed, "I suppose I am quite large."

You shifted. Warmth spread through your core. Somehow, this felt familiar. Comfortable.

"Do we have a deal?" You extended your hand to shake. Eclipse took it. But instead of shaking it, he bent and pressed a tender kiss to the back of your hand. A little jolt ran up your arm and into your heart.

"We do," he grinned at you once more.

Flustered and unable to maintain eye contact, you pulled your hand away.

"Ahem," you shyly stepped back into the cottage, "why don't you come in a moment while I gather my things?"

It didn't take long to gather your handful of possessions. You left a note for the landlord before stepping out into the daw ln with Eclipse.

He took your hand. The two of you watched the sun rise for a moment.

"Are you ready?" He smiled down at you.

"I am," you nodded. He squeezed your hand gently before he plucked you up.

"Then rest," he said quietly, "and when you wake, we'll be home."

Home.

Nowhere had felt quite like home since you were first struck by the star, a lifetime ago.

But as you curled up in Eclipse's arms. As your eyes shut to sleep.

You thought that maybe you could be home.

If he was there beside you.

#justaduckarts #star holder #star holder au #eclipse x reader #eclipse fnaf #hes so soft #star holder being bold??#hes into it #this could be a whole fic on its own the idea is very cool

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skyloftian-nutcase · 2 years

Text

Fierce Revelations, Pt 2 (Linked Universe story)

And here’s the rest of the story! :)

Summary: When a battle spirals out of control, Warriors finds a familiar mask in Time’s arsenal and decides that desperate times call for desperate measures. Time then has to confront what it’s like to be on the other end of the mask, and the repercussions that come with it.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Sky walked quietly around the edge of camp. Everyone was settling down to sleep, and he had to be sure he acted while the old man was distracted.

His mind kept returning to earlier in the day when he’d rushed to Time’s aid only to find him speaking with someone that bore an aura that reminded him strikingly of his Zelda and Demise. He was a strange blend of the two, dark and powerful, perhaps even menacing, but having a bizarre warmth and softness to him. Sky couldn’t explain it.

He’d called himself a deity, but honestly, he sounded more akin to Fi. A spirit of an enchanted object, bound to slumber while sealed away, but capable of coming and helping the Hero in a time of need.

Sky just wanted to know more. But he could wait. Because something else was more important.

This Fierce Deity clearly loved Time, and Time did not understand it.

It seemed like maybe the connection wasn’t as good as Sky’s connection to Fi. Perhaps Time held a similar bitterness because the mask had done something to him as the Master Sword had. Sky wasn’t sure. But he didn’t want Time to push those who loved him away. He didn’t want him to ignore someone who clearly cared about him.

He was nervous, admittedly. But he figured it would be worth it if Time could speak to him again.

You’re being overprotective again, a voice whispered in his head, and he ignored it. Since when did that matter? He cared deeply about all of them, his guilt notwithstanding, and this was no different. Time had a tendency to hold people at arm’s length, to keep his heart closed off to the world around him (aside from Malon, of course). If someone was willing to reach out to him, Sky wasn’t going to discourage it.

Warriors hadn’t entirely understood what the mask felt like, what the consequences of wearing it were. That much was apparent when Time had tried to explain what happened. But Sky heard both sides of the story. He saw how ill Warriors was, he watched the captain fade in and out of consciousness, vomit multiple times, be too dizzy to walk. He was improving, thankfully, and Sky determined that if being ill for a day was the worst of it, it was worth it.

The camp was quieting quickly. Sky hid behind a tree as Twilight perked up, glancing around. When the ranch hand settled back into cuddling with Wild, who was clinging to his arm with probably enough strength to be uncomfortable, Sky continued to tiptoe around the perimeter. Wind was the next one that he had to sneak by, but that was easy – the little sailor was grumbling to Four about how his leg was sore despite the potion, and then proceeded to interrogate the smith yet again about how he had magically split himself into four different people.

That had been quite the experience – it had almost made Sky forget about Time and Warriors, too busy gawking at what had happened to Four. It was amazing how many gifts they all had.

Though he supposed they wouldn’t all view it that way.

Finally reaching his destination, Sky glanced around nervously. Time was thankfully closer to the fire, ensuring Warriors ate some broth that Wild had set aside for him. The entire group had fussed over him just as much as they’d fussed over Twilight and Wind. Whenever they tried to worry about Time, however, he’d redirect their anxious energy to Warriors.

Time was going to take first watch. Now was Sky’s chance.

Reaching into the old man’s pouch, Sky let his arm sink all the way to his elbow as he rifled through invisible belongings. He bit his tongue, furrowing his brow, as his fingers continued to knock into unfamiliar items. He almost yipped when metal claws nearly closed around his hand (he supposed that meant Time also had a clawshot; it was amazing how much their weapons and items overlapped sometimes), but eventually he felt smooth wood against his fingers.

The real question was whether it was the right mask. Time did have plenty of them, after all.

Slowly tightening his grip, he traced his thumb over the item, feeling eyes and cuts under them on the cheeks. He visualized it in his head, and realized it matched how Warriors had looked earlier in the day.

Smiling, he pulled the item out of the pouch and stared at its blank eyes. Then he retreated into the woods a bit.

By this point everyone was falling asleep. Legend, however, was patrolling the camp, and Twilight’s eyes were tracing over everything in sight.

“Do you know where Sky is?” the veteran asked Time.

Sky bit his lip. He was hoping no one would notice he was gone – he was pretty good at being invisible, forgotten. It warmed his heart a little to see how Legend and Twilight noticed he was missing, but right now it wasn’t helpful.

Tucking the mask into his undershirt, he emerged from the darkness. “Sorry, had to pee.”

The rancher and the veteran both relaxed, and Twilight closed his eyes, settling his head just over Wild’s as the two huddled together. Legend nodded and mumbled a quick good night before stretching onto his own bed roll on the other side of the camp. Warriors had been eased into his own bed roll and was oblivious. Everyone else was already snoring.

Everyone except for Time.

The old man watched him analytically, making Sky’s skin crawl. He felt exposed, the mask seeming to burn a hole through his shirt.

“Everything all right?” he asked quietly.

Sky smiled, nodding. “Yeah. I’m going to grab some stuff and go to bed.”

Time watched him silently, making Sky wonder if he was just going to wait until he lied down. Thankfully, the old man finally looked back at the fire pensively.

Sighing in relief, Sky pulled out the mask as he stood behind the old man a few feet away. He wondered if there was a way to tell the mask spirit what he planned to do.

The mask hummed, and Sky almost gasped.

What are you doing?

Sky did gasp at that.

And immediately shoved the mask back into his shirt as Time turned to face him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” he squeaked. “I just—I just remembered something, but it’s fine.”

Time narrowed his good eye. “Sky…”

“It’s okay! Really. Really, it’s okay,” he insisted.

Wait, you can hear me?

Sky’s smile grew strained as he tried to ignore the voice for a moment so Time wouldn’t grow any more suspicious.

He supposed at this point the best thing to do was to grab his bed roll and put it behind Time so he wouldn’t be staring at him as he pretended to sleep. Hastily doing that, he settled onto the ground and slowly pulled the mask out after checking that Time’s attention had returned to the fire.

“Can… can you hear me?” he whispered as quietly as possible.

Yes, I can hear you. But Link’s never heard me before…

Sky furrowed his brow at that. “Well… I had a companion who was in a similar situation. Maybe that’s why I can hear you.”

Or because you’ve dealt with deities before.

The words sank a little too heavily in his chest. He still didn’t know how to comprehend that. He still didn’t really want to process it.

“Look,” he said instead, changing the topic. “I… I wanted to give you a chance to talk to him.”

You… want me to talk to Link?

“Well, don’t you want to?”

He heard a small, sad laugh. I always knew he was wary of me, but I never realized it was because the bond was painful. I don’t think it’ll do much good to talk to him. He probably wouldn’t believe you if you said you could hear me.

“I’m not going to interpret for you, I’m going to let you talk through me.”

But I just said—wait, you’re going to put the mask on?

Sky nodded with a smile, and then he realized the mask spirit wouldn’t see that. “Yes.”

…You’re a good grandson.

Sky almost laughed out loud. He wished he could see whatever interaction was going to happen just so he could see Time’s face when the mask spirit said he was his father again. Maybe he could… but it didn’t seem likely. Warriors hadn’t spoken much, but what little he asked implied that he didn’t remember anything that had happened after he put the mask on.

Anxiety wormed its way into his chest and throat again, but he fought it. It didn’t matter what the mask did to him, it would give them both a chance to talk. It would be fine.

Taking a deep breath, he flipped the mask over to stare inside it, and then slowly put it to his face.

XXX

Time immediately knew something was wrong. Sky jerked behind him, yelling into his pillow, not quite muffling the sound completely. Some of the other Links stirred, but none quite registered it. Whirling to his feet and facing the young knight, Time froze just as he was about to drop down on one knee and check on him.

His hair was white.

Time drew his sword, hissing, “What did you do?”

The Fierce Deity sat up quickly, holding out his hands. “Hush, will you? You’ll wake the babies.”

“They’re not—”

“This wasn’t my idea.”

Time stopped. “What?”

“Sky wanted me to talk to you.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

Sky’s soft, gentle features accentuated the knowing look the Fierce Deity gave him. “You can’t hide behind denial, Link.”

Fear, confusion, and anger tumbled in his heart and mind. He felt almost as out of control as he would if he were the one wearing the mask. Why would Sky put himself through that when the situation wasn’t even dire?

Nevertheless, the events from earlier in the day played through his mind, and he slowly lowered his blade. He didn’t sheath it, though.

“And what are we supposed to be talking about?” he asked evenly.

The Fierce Deity bit his lip for a moment, and then he calmed. “Does it actually hurt?”

Time sighed. He wasn’t sure he wanted to get into this. This was too… much. He didn’t like talking about how things made him feel, not with anyone. He did it with Malon out of love and respect for her, but that didn’t make it easy. “Is that really what you want to discuss?”

“Yes,” Sky’s deep voice said firmly. “Yes, it is. I don’t experience that. I don’t feel pain, just disconnection from the world around me. I’m trapped in the mask, I can’t really tell what’s going on unless I’m in contact with someone. I can tell when you’re in danger, when you’re happy or sad, what might be happening in the immediate vicinity, but only if you’re carrying me around. I only get the full picture when you put me on. But it doesn’t hurt, not really. The transition is… rough, but not something I would call painful.”

Time had to admit, listening to what it felt like on the other end was fascinating. And it could let him redirect the conversation. “How much about my life do you know?”

The Fierce Deity shrugged. “Everything, really.”

Protectiveness screamed inside of him. He raised his blade.

The Fierce Deity sighed. “Please, don’t hurt Sky. I can take the mask off if you want.”

Time blanched. “I wouldn’t—I would never hurt Sky.”

“Sky sometimes wonders.”

He felt his heart stop for a moment. “What?”

“I don’t think he expects you to hurt him, but he definitely doesn’t think you’re fond of him. More of just… tolerating. Kind, patient, but tolerating.”

“You’re lying,” Time shot back, growing steadily more upset, his voice growing ever louder. Twilight stirred, mumbling in his sleep.

The Fierce Deity shook his head. “I’m not here to divide you all. I think you’re a lovely family. Sky wanted me to talk to you, so that’s what I’m doing. I just…”

The possessed Skyloftian shifted, seeming to look away. It was hard to tell his mood when his eyes were so otherworldly. Nevertheless, Sky’s face was so expressive it made up for it. He was far easier to read than he had been when he’d possessed Warriors.

“I’m sorry,” The Fierce Deity finally said quietly.

Time didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what to do. He’d always thought of the mask as a danger. He didn’t hold a grudge or bitterness towards it so much as wariness. But here the deity that inhabited it was baring his soul, apologizing for something that he couldn’t even help.

Time instinctively didn’t trust people, but he also knew how to read them. This was sincere. This was sincere.

The eldest Link finally sheathed his sword, leaning it against the log he’d been sitting on. “I’m sorry too. I wish we could have conversations like this, but… I need to talk to Sky.”

The Fierce Deity smiled, Sky’s face brightening it. “Well, I’ll get him, then, Old Man.”

Time furrowed his brow. That sounded bizarre coming from him.

“You know the Hylian troops in the captain’s world called me that,” Fierce Deity chuckled. “And now look at you! All grown up with kids of your own.”

“That’s not—”

“Now, now, don’t deny it, Link,” the deity continued. “They all look at you that way. Well, most of the time - the captain might view you as a brother, but I think it just depends on the moment. Still, I don’t even have to be in their heads to see it.”

Time sighed, feeling a strange warmth buzzing in him. He felt the urge to say or do something, but he didn’t know what.

The Fierce Deity stood and put a hand on Time’s shoulder, a soft smile playing at Sky’s lips. “I hope we can talk someday… in a way that isn’t traumatizing to anyone.”

Time finally allowed himself to smile in return. “I… hope so too.”

They watched each other for a moment longer, Time trying to decipher everything he was feeling, when the Fierce Deity finally relented, pulling the mask from Sky’s face. Time was ready, guiding hands under Sky’s arms as they both sank to the grassy floor. He pulled Sky onto his lap, watching him carefully, taking the mask gently out of his hands.

So much to ponder. But for now, he had a single matter to address.

Sky slowly opened his eyes, a bead of sweat making him blink profusely before he gave Time a weak smile. “How’d it go?”

Time grabbed a handkerchief and wiped the boy’s face. “It went well.”

Sky’s smile grew, and then he coughed, his chest giving a soft whistling wheeze. Time felt his own chest tighten at the sound of it. He watched Sky shift, uncomfortable, and helped him sit up a little more before leaning him against his torso. He wrapped his right arm around him tightly, rubbing his arm. He couldn’t put into words what the deity’s discussion meant to him, what it did to him. He couldn’t put into words how Sky’s actions made him feel.

He couldn’t put into words what the Fierce Deity had said about Sky and how that hurt.

Kind, patient, but tolerating.

Sky thought he just tolerated him, as if he weren’t a part of the family, as if he didn’t actually care about him, as if he wasn’t one of his boys.

Did any of the others feel that way? Or did Sky hold that opinion because of the Master Sword and their differing thoughts on it? Did Sky really think Time would transfer his bitterness at the sword, his hurt from his past, onto Sky himself?

Time sighed heavily, resting his chin on Sky’s head. “Sky… don’t hurt yourself like this. I appreciate what you did, but… you worried me.”

Sky took a shaky breath, clearly fighting back another cough. “S-sorry…”

Time bit his tongue, unsure how to phrase what he wanted to say. He felt like he was just making it worse. Perhaps it would be best if he didn’t say anything at all. Actions spoke louder than words, and all of the Links were proponents of that phrase.

Sky moaned, cringing and coughing. Time patted him on the back. He hadn’t worn the mask for long, but it was clearly long enough. Sky was going to be unwell for the rest of the night.

Time leaned back against log, settling Sky more comfortably in his lap. That was fine. He’d be there for him.

He’d always be there for his boys.

#Dad Feels all around #Dad Time is the Best Time #can't wait to see how my FD brainrot manifests next #linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu time #lu sky #fierce deity #fierce dadity #yay emotional hurt/comfort #WE NEED MORE TIME AND SKY BONDING DANG IT #SOMEONE WRITE OR DRAW SOME TIME AND SKY PLEASE #writing

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oletusfragments · 1 year

Note

💌 to the recipient Victor Grantz;

At first I thought you disliked me, with how you'd flee the room so suddenly whenever I'd tried speaking with you, or look away in what I'd assumed to be contempt. It upset me at first, thinking I had done something to deserve your ill-view of me. I have come to realise otherwise, as the other residents have explained to me your general aversion to being in the centre of attention. Suddenly it made sense to my why you performed so well as a postman. Every letter crafted with careful attention to the people around you so that you could help us all in matches- I'm amazed everytime at your consistency but even moreso at how earnest you are. Forgive me for saying this but I'm so very intrigued by you.

In recent times everytime I get a letter in matches from you it takes me back to the excitement I felt reading the first letter you'd ever sent my way. I recall the hope it gave me to push on and eventually escape that match through that dungeon. I couldn't expect you to have known then, but I wasn't doing too well that day and was quite upset, but that small act of kindness from you was enough to help me rest easy when I went to sleep.

To be honest it's something I'm jealous of, the ability to concisely write in a way that touches the heart everytime, an envious gift to have. You may not talk to us in the conventional sense but your writing speaks in a way thats far more impactful. I found I'd be more saddened if I could no longer read it and as you're no doubt aware, the Baron has expressed we must get rid of your letters after the matchea so that we dont smuggle them for future use.

So I have taken upon myself to ask that perhaps instead of talking we could write to eachother, outside of the matches. I'm not as good as you at putting my thoughts onto paper, but I hope they reach you and that you may understand my intentions. I find myself reading too much between the lines in those matches to try to pry open the glimpse I had of just who you are. I ought to be more upfront in asking you, instead of wallowing in these feelings. Perhaps one day we could revel in eachothers presence without any spoken words too, if that makes you more comfortable. If I could come to understand you without having to utter a word, then I'd be willing to continue to write to you, if you'd do the same for me.

Eager regards, Dahlia

Victor Grantz has received your letter! 🔔

Victor has always felt joy in sending letters. The blissful reactions of his recipients is enough to make him feel the same. He does feel down sometimes whenever he wishes that there could be a letter for him too. Sometimes, he peeks at his letters just to momentarily feel what could be felt when someone sends a letter to you.

He became totally elated when he saw his name in the envelope. His whole body felt giddy with excitement and he blushes as the same color as his uniform.

That day, he immediately sent all the letters he needed to sent and competed the tasks he had to do. After that he rests in his room, taking his time at reading your letter.

Those words you've said, your praises, your sincerity, went straight to his heart. No one has ever said these to him.

He has sent letters but never received anything back. So to receive a letter about your love for him...he could just cry...–oh, but, from happiness, of course.

He is so thankful for your consideration of him. You acknowledged his existence more than anyone has. You've made him feel more special than he's ever been. You've made his wish come true.

Right! He needs to reply!

He rushes to grab a piece of paper and a pen from his desk drawer and immediately sat on the chair. The speed at which he did it is almost comical and even Wick is baffled by his sudden burst of energy.

Victor writes on the paper merrily, occasionally halting to think deeply.

This might be the first letter he writes and will delivers and so excitedly.

— Victor replied to your letter!

Dear Dahlia,

I sincerely apologize that I made you think I dislike you at first. It was unintentional...Actually, I didn't want you to hate me that's why I often avoid personal conversations. But, thank you for being so considerate of me. Hearing that you're interested in me makes me feel all excited and my cheeks starts to warm up...

You're one of the first people who read my letters more deeply than anyone else. You even replied to me. It's embarrassing, but even as a postman, I deliver letters everyday but there are none for me. This is one the first letters I've ever received. I'm really happy.

And yes! I would love to keep exchanging letters with you. I am not a vocal person. And I do prefer to keep things on paper... This is the only way I think I'd be able to talk to someone properly. Perhaps, in the future, we can be close enough to say our thoughts and feelings beside each other.

If you ask me, you might have already understood me better than anyone else. Thank you. And I hope I can make you feel the same way you feel about me.

– Victor Grantz

[ This might be the longest letter I've ever done. Hope you liked it! ]

#identity v imagines #identity v x reader #idv imagines #idv x reader #identity v #identity v matchups #idv #idv matchup #victor grantz #letter: sent!

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katealpha · 1 year

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Nothing in the world could keep Judy Hopps down. Not even motherhood. It was just an hour after she clocked out one last time from ZPD Headquarters, finally heeding Chief Bogo’s demands to go on maternity leave. Lest she go into labor in the middle of the office area where she had spent the last few months. The pregnancy was a surprise, but not something Judy wasn’t predicting to happen at some point in her intimate relationship with Nick. The real surprise lay in how the pregnancy was going. At this point, she knew there was something not right happened within her. Something just felt…wrong. She knew that growing inside her was no litter of bunnies. They were bigger, stronger, and made her hungrier than she’d ever been in her entire life. Her cravings were constant, and she ate much more than usual to help nurture the babies inside her.

With sunset just on the horizon for the city of Zootopia, the bunny cop wanted to do one more thing before she settled in for the night, perhaps giving Nick a call for good measure. She needed someone to keep her company in case the time came when she least expected it. Because that was the ironic thing about expecting. You never expect when they’re ready to come. After a brief rinse after changing out of her poorly fitting police uniform, Judy dressed up in a casual pale t-shirt and back stretchy pants. Armed with her cellphone and a pair of earbuds, she headed out the door of her home and headed out for a power walk….or rather a power waddle.

A few minutes went by, and the bunny found herself headed towards the local park. The only place in the downtown area that wasn’t completely industrialized and made to accommodate a certain size and shape of animal. It was for everyone. With paths to walk, places to fish and grill, or simply lay about, it was a perfect place for her to let out whatever energy she had left before retiring for the night. She lifted her phone and

checked the time. 5:30. A half hour in the park wouldn’t hurt. It would be enough to at least burn a few calories. She needed it with how much weight she’d been gaining from this very special pregnancy.

Once there, surrounded by grass and trees, she got into a focused mindset. She couldn’t exactly jog at this time, but she could still get into a rhythmic, concentrated walk. With one of her favorite Gazelle songs playing in her ears, Judy sauntered ahead with her violet eyes as forward facing as her exposed belly button. Her hand reached up and with a sigh and she pulled down on her t-shirt in a vain attempt to cover up her swollen bump from the cool breeze. She wasn’t very successful. Judy had basically swelled out of every outfit she had in her wardrobe. It was all so overwhelming for her. Being slowed to a crawl, midriff distending out to where her feet were now blacked from view, growing out of her own clothes. She felt more like a pig than a bunny. Pig. That one word just kept repeating in her mind, and part of her liked it. A primal instinct deep in her brain that craved to have as many babies as possible. It was a rabbit thing she just couldn’t help.

After one last huff left her mouth, she rubbed her sore back as she continued her stride. The sight of which she knew Nick would certainly enjoy, from all angles. A little smirk crossed her face as she thought of him. Judy had no ill will towards the fox for knocking her up in such a way. Though that would likely change once labor began. He was everything she had hoped for in a partner. Smart, supportive, and admittedly sexy.

Her thoughts were interrupted when suddenly, she felt a strong push from inside of her belly. Just looked down to find a paw shape briefly pushing forward before sinking back into her body. It was enough to exhibit a soft gasp from her. The paw she noticed was far too big to be that of a baby bunny. It was like there was a fox kit. No. Three little foxes just stirring and fighting for space in her own body. An expression of existential dread crossed her features as the bunny stroked a paw over her swollen belly as she waddled into the sunset

“Sweet cheese and crackers, what have I done to myself?..”

——————————————————-

I was hoping to get a certain bunny from Convexpert at some point, and so I have. This definitely exudes how she’d look after a fateful night with Nick. Now she’s out showing the product of a pred/prey relationship to the world. Thing of beauty no? I hope you like this next addition for year of the rabbit.

#disney #animated movies #zootopia #judy hopps #pregnant #pregnancy

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feverishly-kpop · 1 year

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Ateez Performance Line - Part 6

Seonghwa was relieved to find Yunho asleep as he entered his room. He had lost track of how many times Yunho had woken up in a panic over the past few days, sputtering incoherently about whatever terror had been plaguing his sleep. Seonghwa hoped that, perhaps tonight, he and Yunho would be able to get a full night of rest. They were both exhausted at this point.

As Seonghwa settled into San’s bed, where he had taken up temporary residence to look after Yunho, he set his phone to the side, allowing himself to relax. These moments of relative calm had been few and far between since Wooyoung and Yunho had fallen ill so he was knew that he needed to take advantage of them when they came around.

He had just about fallen asleep when his phone vibrated, causing Seonghwa to sigh quietly in annoyance. It was 1:00 in the morning. What could be so urgent that it couldn’t wait until a more reasonable hour?

Seonghwa wanted nothing more than to ignore it and turn his phone off, but instead he unlocked the screen to find a text from Mingi.

As he read the message his heart sank. If there was one thing he knew about Mingi, it was that he doesn’t like to be taken care of. He was fiercely independent, which Seonghwa respected, but that made it all the more concerning to receive a text at such an early hour from Mingi.

Seonghwa quickly responded: “Yeah sure, I’ll get a ride over, everything okay?”

Within a few seconds, he had received a response from Mingi: “Not feeling the best.”

With his suspicions confirmed, Seonghwa climbed out of bed, checking once more on Yunho before leaving the room and grabbing his coat, ready to go collect yet another sick dongsaeng.

*~*~*~*~*~

Not long after Seonghwa has slipped out, Yunho was woken by yet another nightmare, the details of which he couldn’t quite remember. Using the small amount of energy he had left, he sat up, turning toward San’s bed hoping to find his hyung, however the bed was empty. He reached a shaking hand toward the glass on his bedside table only to find that empty as well.

Yunho sighed, holding back tears while kicking his blankets off. He felt far too hot yet unable to stop shivering, and he felt like his head was simultaneously floating and sinking. Water. He needed water immediately, or he was sure he’d burn to a crisp.

Pulling himself to his feet, Yunho grabbed the wall, trying his best to stay upright. After days of being unable to do virtually anything for himself, he was determined to get to the kitchen. He was an adult, after all. He could get his own damned water.

With a great deal of effort, Yunho managed to get himself to the kitchen. He was winded, as if he has sprinted several kilometers to get there, but was relieved to have made it as he reached up to open the cupboard to grab a glass.

Without warning, however, he was overcome by a sudden spell of dizziness. He grabbed the shelf in the cupboard, hoping to steady himself, but his knees gave out, sending Yunho to the ground as about a dozen glasses fell from the shelf and crashed to the ground around him. Zapped of all energy, all he could do was rest his head on his knees and cry.

*~*~*~*~*~

Hongjoong was abruptly woken by the unmistakable sound of glass shattering. Lots of glass. His eyes shot open, meeting Yeosang’s, who he had been sharing Seonghwa’s bed with. Wooyoung, who was sleeping in Hongjoong’s bed, was groaning, his head and stomach unhappy about being woken up so suddenly in the middle of the night in his current condition.

“Get Woo back to sleep” Hongjoong said firmly to Yeosang as he sprung from the bed, hastily getting his slippers on. As he rounded the corner to the kitchen, his heart sank, finding Yunho sitting on the floor surrounded by broken glass, with a small knick on his right arm slowly trickling blood onto the floor.

“Oh Yunho” Hongjoong said softly, “don’t move, okay?” Yunho nodded, not sure that he’d be able to move on his own anyway.

It only took a few more moments for San and Jongho to emerge, looking just as confused as Hongjoong felt. San quickly disappeared and returned with a broom and dustpan, handing it to Hongjoong who made a path through the shards and crouched down next to Yunho, who was inconsolable.

“What happened Yunho-ah?” Hongjoong asked as he cupped Yunho’s cheek with his palm, finding his skin frighteningly hot to the touch.

“I was…thirsty” Yunho responded through sobs. “Seonghwa-hyung…was…gone. I didn’t mean to….I’m so sorry….”

Hongjoong quietly asked Jongho to fetch Yunho’s slippers and to find Seonghwa before grabbing a clean glass from the drying rack, filling it with cool water, and handing it to Yunho.

“It was an accident. Accidents happen” Hongjoong replied, wiping the blood from Yunho’s arm and looking him over for any other injuries.

Jongho returned with Yunho’s slippers, tossing them to Hongjoong who slipped them on Yunho’s feet. “He’s right, Seonghwa-hyung isn’t here” Jongho said in a hushed tone, just as Wooyoung sped to the bathroom with Yeosang close on his heels.

“He said he had a headache then…” Yeosang said, obviously bewildered, as Wooyoung gagged inside.

Hongjoong felt lost in the sheer pandemonium until Jongho stepped into the fray, quietly reassuring Yunho and helping him to his feet. “I think you need to be in bed, hyung” he said softly as they headed back to Yunho’s room together.

Taking a deep breath and a moment to collect himself, Hongjoong turned to San. “Would you mind cleaning this up? I have to get Yunho taken care of. And Wooyoung. And figure out where the hell Hwa is…” San nodded quickly, grabbing the broom and getting to work.

Just then, as if by clockwork, Hongjoong heard the click of the lock as the front door swung open.

“Where did you go?!” Hongjoong asked Seonghwa as he entered and kicked his shoes off. Seonghwa took in the scene in horror, first noticing San sweeping up what seemed to be a copious number of glass shards while spreading blood across the floor, followed quickly by the sounds of Wooyoung being sick in the bathroom and Yunho sobbing in his bedroom.

“I was gone for under half an hour…” Seonghwa replied, shock evident in his voice, before Hongjoong cut him off.

“What was so urgent that you needed to leave in the middle of the night?” Hongjoong hissed, his stress getting the better of him. “Yunho couldn’t find you and he…fell I guess” he said, wildly gesturing to the mess in the kitchen. “Which woke up Wooyoung, and now he’s in the bathroom getting sick…”

“I’m sorry, it was my fault” Mingi interjected from the doorway behind Hongjoong, who had been unaware that Mingi was even there. He quickly turned around, softening significantly at the sight of a very exhausted Mingi. “I wasn’t feeling well, I texted hyung to come get me” Mingi added softly.

“Oh no Mingi, I’m sorry” Hongjoong replied dumbfounded as he raced to help Mingi out of his jacket, but Mingi shook his head.

“I’m fine. I just need some sleep” Mingi said, uncomfortable being doted upon. “Just make sure he’s okay, please” he added as he walked past Yunho’s room, hearing his friend’s sobs that had grown a bit quieter over the last few minutes.

And with that, Mingi entered his room, locking the door behind him, and headed to bed.

#kpop sickfic #kpop fluff #ateez fluff #ateez sickfic #sickfic #ateez #yunho #yunho sick #sick wooyoung #wooyoung #yunho fluff #wooyoung fluff #mingi #mingi sick #mingi fluff #Wooyoung sickfic #yunho sickfic #Mingi sickfic

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chickensarentcheap · 2 years

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A Steve and Maizie drabble for @youflickedtooharddamnit. Based on the prompt of rubbing comforting circles into someone’s skin.

Not my best work! I’m not used to writing short stuff lol. But I hope you enjoy it :D

I will also tag: @tragiclyhip, @secretaryunpaid, @residentdormouse, @ninjasawakenedmystar, @munstysmind, @mostly-marvel-musings, @presidentlokis-hornyhelmet, @starryeyes2000

*****

It’s been hours since any real progress. No increase in contractions, no dilation past six centimetres. Under normal circumstances, a woman would have been released some time ago; things allowed to naturally unfold in the comforts of her own home. But issues with mom and baby both remain; fluctuations from extremely low to terrifying high heart rates that require constant monitoring and supervision. So here he remains; parked in an uncomfortable bedside chair as Maizie attempts to rest. Her weary body a playground for various medical equipment; a fetal monitor attached to her stomach, sensors continuously monitoring her heart rate and blood pressure, IV lines delivering -through the needling piercing the top of her right hand- a mixture of much needed hydration and a medication designed to speed up the labour process. And while seeing her so ill and vulnerable has been extremely difficult, he’s refused to leave her side or even close his eyes; brushing off the suggestions of food and drink or even a couple hours of sleep from well meaning nurses.

He can’t remember a time when he’s felt this helpless. Unable to render any sort of aid or comfort; able to do little more than fetch glasses of ice water and wish for the difficulties to pass and the rest of the experience to go smoothly. It’s the most worried and scared he’s ever been in his life. At least while NOT under heavy doses of Phobica or Darkenfloxx. His wife and son both under enormous amounts of stress; the latter’s life hanging more precariously in the balance. It had taken him months to be fully accepting of welcoming a child into the world; worried that his lack of positive experience to draw on would make him a horrible father. He would try of course; somehow manage to put his family above his work and give the attention and love that both mother and baby deserve. The news that she’d been expecting hitting him hard and fast; returning from the ‘dead’ after a three month sabbatical only to find out that he was going to be a father. Lending a hand in creating a life; an innocent human being that had been conceived during the final weeks at Spiderhead; pinpointed to either the night before or the day that Heather had taken her own life.

It scares him. Fatherhood. The realization that someone completely depends on him for even the most basic of needs. The thought of having a little one in the house; the incessant crying and the middle of the night feedings and the near constant attention it requires. Perhaps he’s too selfish to successfully raise a child of his own; unable to commit the same kind of effort and passion and energy that he does into his work. It still remains the most important thing of course; unable to provide for his wife and his child if he doesn’t devote everything he has into his science and his career. And where would that leave them? Separated from the lifestyle that they deserve; a beautiful home in an idyllic setting and everything that could ever want and need at their fingertips. While not ideal, It’s a necessity; putting his work above everything else. One that his wife and eventually his children will become accepting and welcoming of.

Maizie mumbles in her sleep and then issues a long, drawn out sigh; her eyes flickering open and a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth when she sees him sitting there.

Reaching out, he places a hand on the top of her head and then leans forward in his chair and presses a kiss to her brow. “How are you feeling? Are you okay? Any pain?”

She shakes her head. “I’m feeling alright. I guess. Just tired. Really, really, REALLY tired.”

“You need to get as much rest as you can. It’s going to be a long day. I know this isn’t what you wanted. Things going wrong. But you’re in the best possible place, being taken care of by the best possible people. I made sure of that.”

Tears sparkle in her eyes. “It feels like he’s never going to come out. Like he’s going to be stuck in there forever.”

“We both know that’s not going to happen. It’s scientifically impossible. For him to stay in there.”

“I just want everything to be okay. I don’t want anything happening to him. Everything’s gone so well until now. I don’t understand. I did everything right. I…”

“It’s nothing you did. Or didn’t do. These things happen, Maize. All the time. Lots of women have perfectly healthy pregnancies and then they get to the part and complications arise. But you’re doing fine. And so he is. You’re in good hands.”

“I’m scared. I just want him to be alright. I just want him out of there. I just want to hold him and kiss him and…”

“And you WILL. I promise. We’re past the worst of it. I’m sure of it. It’s a good sign, yeah? That you were able to sleep.”

“I suppose. You’ve been here all this time?”

“Of course.” He pecks her lips. “Where else would I be?”

She reaches for his hand. “Don’t leave, okay? Just stay. I need you to stay.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he assures her, and laces his fingers with hers; pressing a kiss to each knuckle before setting their joined hands on the mattress. His gaze never leaving hers as the pad of his thumb rubs slow, comforting circles on the inside of her wrist.

#Steve and Maizie #Steve Abnesti #Steve Abnesti drabble #Spiderhead #Spiderhead drabble

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ina-nis · 10 months

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I don't really know how to talk about this without sounding insensitive but I think it would be great for me to get this off my chest anyway. I'm trying to organize my thoughts the best I can... Those are conflicting needs and I'm in no place to attack or judge, considering we're all in the same boat.

The spaces and communities I usually gravitate around are full of mentally ill and neurodivergent people, obviously, as I am one myself.

I have a personality disorder (and C-PTSD, and few other things, but these 2 are probably the core of my "personality" and interconnectedness) and I'm not autistic or ADHDer.

Many autistic and allistic people alike, assume I'm on the spectrum because of my behaviours - I do act very autistic for someone who isn't. The things I have issues the most, though, don't look typically autistic, such as how much in tune I am with my emotions and myself, how it troubles me to feel so much and some times feeling nothing either, and, the main one, the fact that I have no trouble reading people, body language and just social cues in general. I like routine, I prefer to avoid eye contact, I usually don't speak much... those are all from AvPD and CPTSD, not ASD.

The thing that really solidified the fact that I'm allistic is that I don't really feel that relatedness to autistic people in regards to interpersonal relationships - I feel like we stand in complete opposites actually! - So, a good example: growing frustration over my emotional needs not being met. I have autistic friends and these friendships are, you guessed, superficial because I noticed they tend to prioritize interests and other things over relationships (I can relate to that very much), because the way they relate and connect to other people is different.

It's a similar issue with ADHD, they usually don't have friendship degradation, they deal with forgetfulness and an overall difficulty in maintaining relationships - remember a lot of my issues with doing things one-sidedly? Feeling like I'm carrying connections on my back all on my own? Suffering because I miss them but wonder if they miss me? Also the unpredictability and changing interests and things too fast for me to keep up.

Of course, the same could be said about myself. I don't really need to list all the "bad" and "unpleasant" things about being an avoidant or someone traumatized, because it is already all over this blog, and you can find it elsewhere, too.

In short, I definitely don't fit in neurotypical spaces and amidst neurotypical people; and I also feel out of place in neurodivergent spaces, for different reasons. Perhaps they all have to do - in a way or another - with being around other people who also have difficulties in establishing and maintaining relationships.

In connections and relationships with other neurodivergent people, I always felt like the reciprocity was missing and didn't really matter how much I tried to be understanding and accommodating: my emotional needs remained unmet. There was never really a compromise to be reached because that would mean them becoming someone they are not - I would hate for someone to try to change me to fit in their life, why would I do that to others?

"Just get your emotional needs met elsewhere!"

The thing is that for me to do that I'd need a close relationship with someone I trust. None of my many friends and peers are going to do that, and it's not because I didn't try to deepen these relationships...

Another thing is that, because of CPTSD, I do not do well with temporary or conditional things so... having my emotional needs met for some time and then needing to build it up again with someone else or somewhere else is just too painful - so much that, again, I'll take the pain of loneliness over finding relief and then losing it.

And having my emotional needs met half-way just serves to grow resentment.

If this was something I could do on my own, I would not be wasting so much time and energy going over these things so much... If hobbies and distractions could make me emotionally fulfilled, I wouldn't be feeling so lonely either.

#inanis post

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thecruxarm-personal-blog · 1 year

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Hey guys, im still working on stuff!!!!

Im working on the next organism for my spec bio project!! The general concept for this organism is that they pollinate the seeds/spores of both the dome tree wnd the grape fungus, also making it a symbiote to the two. Though it is derived from plant ancestors, this fella adapted to use respiration instead of photsynthesis through random genetic mutations, therefore giving the dome tree a very good source of carbon!

I imagine theyd individually carry one large seed of the dome tree somewhere near its central body and a bunch of smaller grape fungus spores in the bristles located on its "legs". Uniquely, this species is able to move, and that, combined with the fact it uses respiration, makes it one of the earliest ancestors to plantimals on Fytikó! (To learn more about what plantimals are or what Fytikó is, check my pinned post :) )

Im not entirely sure yet on what the body plan for this creature should even be or how it should look; i know it would have some form of "legs" perhaps derived from plant roots, though im unsure if theyd walk upright (which wiuldnt be hard given the slightly lower gravity) or if they would just crawl along the ground starting off, similar to starfish. Below are a bunch of concepts for features and body layouts that they could have

Since dome trees need a lot of space to maximise the efficiency of photsynthesis, their offspring need to be planted far away, so this pollinator would have to carry these seeds far away. This may take lots of energy, but they also get lots of energy from leeching off of the grape fungi which in turn leech off of the nutrients of the dome tree. This pollinator both pollinates the offspring of the dome tree and the grape fungi, while also making sure that too many grape fungi dont grow on the dome tree, which would be bad since an overabundance of grape fungi could easily drain the tree of its nutrients. These pollinating lifeforms would be derived from parasitic plants, and would use a proboscis-like organ to inject into the sacks of grape fungi and to absorb their nutrients

Because theyd need to travel far to pollinate for the dome trees, and need to make their way back to their original host dome tree, they would both need at least some simple set of sensory organs which help them observe simple landscapes and remember the paths they travel - these organs would be analagous to brains and eyes, though far too simple to properly classify as such (they would later on develop to becime more complex, though)

Im not really sure how these organisms would reproduce themselves, like whether they should be hermaphroditic (given that they would spend much of their lives pollinating on their own), and im not sure if they should make one trip or two trips each time they pollinate, since dome trees might need to mature after being planted before they can afford to be surrounded by grape fungi. If these organisms would require to go back and forth from their original dome tree to the dome tree they had just planted, they may need a developed system analagous to a neural network so they can remember the exact path to reach both dome trees and go back and forth between one another, regardless of how much time has passed

----------------------------------

Sorry, i know these arent very good looking sketches, and im still very in the dark on how this organism should look or behave - i only have very vague and general ideas which are hard to put together. I am stubborn though, and will find one way or another to make the biology of this guy work. I hope nobodies been waiting to see any more from me, ill post the complete version of this pollinating organism once i have it done!! If anybody wants to help me design it too, feel free to comment or message me :) i just wanted to post these so people can get a more general idea of what i have in mind, and especially since it might take longer to design than the last two organisms i posted

#speculative evolution #spec bio #speculative biology #xenobiology #worldbuilding #spec evo #aliens #original species #speculative xenobiology #speculative botany #botany #concept art

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twist-of-art · 2 years

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Willing to start anew again & giving self-care a chance

⚠️ Please do NOT continue reading if you might get triggered by certain "sensitive topics" including mental illnesses, toxicity, mentions of s*****e, etc. ⚠️

As someone out of many people who are struggling with depression, other mental disorders and trying to find their place and happiness in life I've been often reaching the point where I was ready to give up. I've always been a severe pessimist who quickly saw no point either in things that I started to like or do or life in general, especially during bad days, moments of disappointment or random relapses. These struggles hit me hard once again lately and after so many years of this "broken record" repeating itself, I decided to take a drastical turn in my life because in all honesty.. I slowly grew tired of this entire nonsense and I don't feel like I have the energy to deal with these things anymore after already witnessing them for God knows how often in the past.

I would like to share my experiences with you because perhaps some of you might be in a similar situation and I want to show you that you're NOT ALONE with this!

I'm no therapist nor someone who tries to tell anyone what's right or wrong. This post is only showing MY VERY PERSONAL experiences, struggles & decisions in order how I started step by step to change certain things in order to learn and get a different perspective in life while keeping on fighting my mental illness and trying to seek + find my own happiness.

So let's give this a shot 💪🏻

• Awareness & acceptance

Have you ever caught yourself denying that things are difficult for you or where you intentionally ignored certain struggles, pretended things are fine or where you merely avoided specific topics because they made you feel "hurt", "annoyed", "triggered", etc? Being in denial is venom to you and your recovery or way to change and it doesn't help you at all, it rather throws stones on you path + makes things even more messy.

Fact is: Denying or avoiding your struggles or immediately blocking off when being confronted with specific things or issues (maybe even your own behavior?) isn't going to work out forever. Many people are afraid or can't accept the truth that they might have a problem and believe they can run but in reality they may run, but can't hide. And yes, TRUTH HURTS. We all know how hellish it can sting when being confronted with nothing but the hard, merciless truth..

In my case however, this was one of the things that helped me to realize that what I've been doing so far wasn't enough. I also tried to ignore it for a long time and ended up being oh so certain that I've already done anything in my might but man.. How wrong can someone be, lol. No matter how old you get, there's ALWAYS a way to improve, learn & to change. You just need to take your time to realize, accept and then make the first step in order to change something but the most important thing: YOU are the one who has to be willing to take this first step. Nobody else can do it for you and if you're not ready to do it or even don't want to do it, then it's simple -> Don't complain + expect things to get better for you. 🤷🏻

Life isn't easy nor is it always fair but don't be an a$$hat. There are for sure unfortunately people in this world who have bad intentions, did us wrong, treated us badly, etc. but keep in mind that despite all of those horrible things that may have happened to us, WE are as well still human. We are no saints either and we also tend to make mistakes or, hell even being d1cks, no matter if intentional or not.

It's way too easy to always dump the blame on somebody else because admitting mistakes or other flaws is hard, especially when it comes to certain mess-ups where we may have hurt someone close for example. Fact is, nobody of us is perfect and we all f*ck up. Regularly. But instead of complaining all the time how terrible everything is, how much you hate everyone or everything and how cruel or mean the world is to you, please give it a brief try, step in front of the mirror and ask yourself: "Am I maybe here and there making things unnecessary harder for myself, because I've been an a$$ in certain situations? Am I always fully innocent?"

Being aware of your own flaws and mistakes + being able to recognize and admit them is as well one of the first steps to improvement. Because no matter how hard we try, sometimes it's US who are the ones spreading bad energy, being unable to control our emotions, letting our frustration out on other people or maybe even being toxic. I myself have f*cked up big time in my past and this guilt is still haunting me till today + I even went far enough to try and take my own life because I couldn't handle the fact that I made mistakes like these, hurt people who I usually love, and and and.

The truth here is: We will probably all have moments in life where we mess up once again. Being human means to have flaws but there's a clear difference between making mistakes and being a jerk. Don't be afraid to admit your mistakes, apologize, learn from them and grow in order to prevent it from happening again.

And I kid you not, NEVER use a mental illness as an excuse for douchebaggery! I know how hard and exhausting it is when your own mind is being nonstop at war with yourself but as long as you're still sane and having common sense it's still YOU who's responsible for your actions and choice of words. Relapses and slip-ups may happen because we're no machines but this should never be a typical excuse for regulary hurting others or being straight forward "trash".

• Not being afraid to turn the page & setting boundaries

As someone who's been always having difficulties with closing certain doors and setting boundaries for myself, this was probably one of my hardest struggles until I literally felt forced to do it thanks to a few incidents where I was shown that I have no other choice if I want to recover and change something.

Fact is: Sometimes we have to close certain doors in our life. Not out of spite, pettiness or oversensitivity but just because they don't lead anywhere anymore. Things in life change, people change, we all grow older and life moves on + eventually one day we may finally realize that it's for example not only our way of how we view certain things but perhaps maybe also some old (bad) habits or even our environment that keeps us away from improving and continuing.

It's an extremely hard process of mind and making this decision isn't anything but easy, but sometimes it's the best way to turn the page and start a new chapter. If you feel that some habits, maybe even hobbies / activities or other things don't bring you joy anymore, rather make you feel drained, empty or give you the feeling that they're all a waste of time, THIS is the right time to drop them and move on. Same with certain people..

Cutting ties with another person used to be one of my biggest fears because even if I knew that someone was either making me feel bad, used me or merely didn't give a damn about me, I always remained a loyal dog and kept on chasing them, simply out of fear of being "the a$$hole" + not wanting to get guilttripped or gaslighted. Fact here is: I ended up in so much unnecessary trouble thanks to those people and I didn't even realize that my mind + even environment were desperately telling me to finally kick those "Energy-sucking vampires" out of my life. I waited way too long with making a decision and the fact that some people simply are nothing but pieces of sh*t, so I should stop trying to change them and just let them rot instead of giving them regularly the opportunity to use me or literally cling to me like a leech, draining all of my energy.

Please know your worth! If you notice a person in your circle making you feel: Terrible every time you interact, doesn't respect your boundaries, only pays attention to you when they're in need, never gives a damn about your wellbeing, uses you as their "emotional toilet" or puppet but in return ignores you when you've hit the bottom of the barrel, trashtalks you + never shares your happiness when you're feeling well or having joy & in the worst case even guilttripps, trauma-dumps or gaslights you when you dare to tell them that you have a problem with their behavior —> DUMP THESE PEOPLE RIGHT AWAY!!! People like that are no "friends" at all and only disguise as those, in order to use you for their own, selfish and toxic needs. Nobody deserves to deal with something like that in their life, so as soon as you notice any red flags like that, don't give them any other opportunity to continue destroying you, so stay safe 🙏🏻

DON'T chase anybody if they make you feel like garbage or you're the one who's desperately trying to keep a "friendship" alive + don't force anybody to stay. If someone wants to walk out of your life, show them the door and even hold it open for them. Simply thank them for being part in your story and let them go.. Nobody's being forced to be your friend and same goes the other way around. I as well left many WhatsApp & Discord groups + had to cut ties with people who turned out to be only interested in me for giving them money, attention or when they could "use" me and as soon as they saw that they have no power over me anymore, they showed their true face by becoming angry, frustrated and even hostile because I showed them that I'm not alive to please THEM. Everybody is responsible for their own life and happiness and if people like that can't deal with it then it's their problem, not yours.

• Give new things a chance and especially time

Especially during heavy periods of depression, frustration or anger it's hard to remain motivated, particularly when you're trying to focus on new things. You become irritated or even mad quite quickly which can lead to the conclusion that you drop everything, give up and think "Why am I even trying? I suck and it's pointless anyway."

The problem here is that this way of negative thinking won't bring you far and causes more harm to yourself and your wellbeing + confidence than you think. I'm aware that reading this right now sounds incredibly easy while in reality it's not, but please give things time. Have you ever planted a tree and did it immediately burst out of the ground, fully grown with leaves after you watered it? It's the exact same story with trying new things out, returning to activities or hobbies that you may have dropped or with improvement and recovery in general. It's totally ok to be frustrated sometimes, impatient or even sad. But don't expect things to work out immediately after the first try and please don't give up right away if you may experience failure!

Also never forget to take breaks. Trying your best DOESN'T mean you have to push yourself to that degree that you end up breaking down, relapsing or whatever. Remember once again: You are human. It's ok to feel exhausted. It's ok to have days that are trash and it's no sign of failure or weakness if you need a break or cry. Everyone is improving, growing and learning at their own pace, which is perfectly fine. It doesn't matter if someone's path may be longer than somebody else's, don't compare yourself to others! This is YOU and YOUR LIFE. And as long as you keep on working on yourself and reach your goal + happiness in life, that's all that matters.

Life is already serious enough, so try to enjoy it as much as possible because it could be over anytime.. That's what I've learned.

If you may ask yourself now if I'm happy with my current life: No. DEFINITELY NOT.

I still have a long way to go and work on myself, despite already doing so since my early childhood and slowly walking towards my 30s, lol. But what I can say is that I've learned to view things from a different perspective and not being scared anymore to try myself out or to make certain decisions. I'm trying to focus on things that I used to love, even during relapses or trashy days + I also stopped viewing things COMPLETELY NEGATIVE. I cherish what I have because I'm well aware that there are always people who have it by far worse & even when I'm feeling screwed over by certain peeps or life in general, I'm not allowing this nonsense to mess with me for ages.

My boss once said "Just curse a little and carry the f*ck on."

I'll never forget his words because this is basically what helped me most of the time to remain sane, since I'm letting out some steam if I have to, yet I'm still having other and better things to do than complaining all the time or allowing this to ruin my day entirely.

Thanks ya'll for reading my essay and I wish every single one of you from the bottom of my heart to stay strong. Just because you're struggling right now, it doesn't mean it's going to last forever! You are valid, you are loved, you are trying and that's more than enough! ❤️

#self improvement #self care #change #fighting depression

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better-wcrps · 2 years

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ohh my god, the one thing i hate about roleplay servers the most was the whole policy of inactivity. i usually get depressive episodes often and i’m unable to respond to roleplays for a good couple of days, possibly even weeks. this makes me vulnerable to getting kicked or possibly banned from a rp server for being “inactive” about something i can’t control, and i literally cannot stand it. yes, there’s usually a submission for hiatuses, but i wouldn’t say i was taking a hiatus from a roleplay server. i feel like it’s generally common sense that an active player, which i was most of the time, would begin to fall out of that grind due to external forces that someone cannot control.

This is something that really hurts. I feel a lot of grief over this.

Again, I truly believe that some of the best players have episodes exactly like yours. I am one of those people as well. There's so many incredible players that because of their problems in real life or mental illnesses, they are removed from spaces where they should have been given patience and understanding.

My personal feeling is that expecting people, who might not be able to muster up the energy to get out of bed, to go and fill out a form or disclose a hiatus is unfair and part of a bigger problem of detachment when it comes to modding. It can be upsetting and humiliating to have to put yourself out there like that, not to mention that you cannot predict when these things will happen. By the time a depressive episode may occur, it's probably already too late for you to have the energy to disclose it.

Many people in the WCRP community are disabled or have mental illnesses that would prevent them from being able to go through the motions of such a thing, these people can be mods. It does not, however, occur to them that it might be uncomfortable or exhausting to have players do all the work of having to describe their situation and take the initiative to do so. They set up these systems thinking they will work for everyone and leave it be. The same goes for things like relationship or plot finding channels, or requiring players to volunteer unprompted. These things will work for some players, they are absolutely not inherently bad.

Those that need additional help getting included or do not have the energy or social know-how to reach out, however, do not work well with these systems and I've seen this time and time again. There's more you can do for inactive players. I would prefer a system of just keeping a loose eye on players, checking in now and then and seeing how they're doing.

If you notice an active player is no longer around, I would personally reach out to check on them with no intent to remove them for inactivity. If someone responds and communicates with you in turn about their issues or inability to do something at that moment, then it is your responsibility as a mod to grant them understanding and time. If you're met with no response, I would still give it some time, reach out again, perhaps even once more if time passes, and if you're truly completely ignored then maybe removal can be considered.

Communication is a two way street, and by staff taking the effort to reach out-- you have at least extended the olive branch and take care of many of the gaps that make it hard to respond.

It is my opinion that staff have to meet players halfway. Make an active effort to reach out and check in, offer plots to them, and more.

Again, I prefer an active mod team. I believe that there's a certain level of responsibility on behalf of the mods to do the legwork on these things.

[An ask from before I took a break.]

#ask #anonymous #wcrp #wcrp oc #warrior cats roleplay #inactivity #removals #activity #accessibility #communication #staff advice

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ohioelectricityrates · 24 days

Text

How to Grill the Perfect Summer Cookout Burger

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How to Grill the Perfect Summer Cookout Burger

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There’s a certain feeling that comes with summer. Lazy afternoons, fireflies out on the deck, and of course, the sizzling sound of a grill. Grilling is a great way to keep heat out of your home from cooking, so it saves you energy. This is especially true if you have an electric stove, or oven. Of course, grilling also makes one think about how to make the perfect summer burger. It’s an age old problem. Whether you’re using charcoal or gas, use these tips to craft your perfect summer meal.

Perfect Ingredients Makes The Burger Go Round

Whether you’re going for the perfect beef burger, or perhaps a decadent portobello burger, your ingredients are going to make or break your burger. If using beef, use an 80/20 meat to fat mix for the perfect amount of juiciness. Always add seasoning before forming your patties. And as an extra tip, put a little divot in the middle of your patties to help keep them holding together. The dip keeps the middle from cooking too slowly versus your edges. This keeps them nice and moist, and allowing for easy, stress free cooking. Bonus tip, chill your burgers to help keep the fats solid and to prevent crumbling.

Gas Or Coals? Choose Your Grill Energy Source

Some people swear by charcoal, others swear by gas. Both have their merits, and both will make you a delicious burger. Your fuel can influence things like temperature control, cooking speed, and even flavors imparted into your meat. If you’re craving that smokey charbroiled taste, opt for charcoal grills. If you’re looking at feeding a lot of people, or need consistency, gas is going to be right up your alley.

Temperatures Affect Everything

Temperatures aren’t just affecting your energy bills, they’ll also affect your perfect burger quest. The optimum temperature for cooking a great burger is around 375º-400ºF. This will ensure your burgers reach the perfect temperature for safe consumption, and not dry them out in the process. The “doneness” that you’re looking for will determine your cooking time. For a medium burger, you’ll want to cook your burger on one side for about 3-4 minutes, and then flip, and cook for another 3 minutes. Remember that consuming undercooked meats can cause food-borne illnesses.

Make Your Perfect Burger And Find Your Perfect Plan

Cooking outside can be a great way to save energy during the summer months. But it’s not the only way you can save on your electricity. There are great rates to explore all across Ohio. Check out all sorts of plans available at www.ohenergyratings.com

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pretentiousbrownie · 3 months

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how do I break up with a friend

aw shucks, it’s never easy

it depends on who this friend is, what they mean to you, how they came to be, and why this split feels necessary, but it’s always good to be direct

communicate with them the why and how and the shape of what it is that’s causing this

they may not like what you have to say - you probably don’t need me telling you it’s really hard losing a friend - but as long as there isn’t any bad blood, ill intent, or real malice, they may come to appreciate you letting them know very clearly that it has to happen

sometimes friendships can change and go faraway places or lull into quiet stretches for indeterminate amounts of time, and that’s perfectly okay; some friendships will endure no matter the space and time

but if you know in your heart of hearts that a friendship has reached its final conclusion, there’s no use in trying to prolong a period of hope and simultaneous frustration, or commit the energy to something you know is on borrowed time

the only hard part there is knowing when a friendship is in a place like that versus just being a long period of quiet

but yes, please tell them

outright

without embellishments or promises left lingering

of course always be kind and courteous - they are and will remain someone who was your friend, but let them know that the place you are in today may be different than the place you were in then, that perhaps the nature of the relationship or the experiences you or they have had in life has changed things and it no longer feels like the two of you or group of you are the right fits for each other anymore

it won’t be easy

no one *likes* to hear that

but there will be a time when the friendship has come to a close, when the pathways of your lives have diverged, when you are both many years or experiences down the road, and you find that you haven’t thought about each other the same way for a very long time, but you still remember what was good and happy and lovely about it

and you both remember having that conversation that set the stage for everything that came after. there was no guesswork or things left unsaid or questions about things gone undone; it was final and definite, and there is a closure in that

it’s gonna suck to lose a friend

but it sucks just as much knowing your friendship has gone on longer than is healthy for either one of you

we know that people will often come and go in your life no matter what we think they mean to us and us to them; people are there for certain times, maybe for certain reasons, or maybe chance and happenstance, and we can love and appreciate that as much as we love and appreciate them

but it’s important to recognize when fate tugs at the strands of your lives that were once interwoven away from each other

in the end

just tell them

it will sting, it will hurt, it won’t be easy

but it may be the right thing to do

I dunno if this is what you were hoping to hear anon, but I do wish you and your friend the best of luck and all the love

and I hope the memories you both share will stay forever, no matter what happens

please take care, love you anon <3

#pretentiousbrownie #brownie posting #anon ask #friendship #with them being anon I obviously don’t know who sent the ask #but I really do genuinely hope they’ll be okay #and that their friend will be okay #asking me or anyone else is always going to net you different answers and perspectives and ideas #so please don’t see this as some kind of forceful and definite you must do this type of advice #but please consider that communication is everything and communicating that friendship is nearing the end is really important #I just want anon to be happy #I hope they both can be #take care anon #and good luck anon’s friend

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