#and good luck anon’s friend

[pretentiousbrownie]

how do I break up with a friend

aw shucks, it’s never easy

it depends on who this friend is, what they mean to you, how they came to be, and why this split feels necessary, but it’s always good to be direct

communicate with them the why and how and the shape of what it is that’s causing this

they may not like what you have to say - you probably don’t need me telling you it’s really hard losing a friend - but as long as there isn’t any bad blood, ill intent, or real malice, they may come to appreciate you letting them know very clearly that it has to happen

sometimes friendships can change and go faraway places or lull into quiet stretches for indeterminate amounts of time, and that’s perfectly okay; some friendships will endure no matter the space and time

but if you know in your heart of hearts that a friendship has reached its final conclusion, there’s no use in trying to prolong a period of hope and simultaneous frustration, or commit the energy to something you know is on borrowed time

the only hard part there is knowing when a friendship is in a place like that versus just being a long period of quiet

but yes, please tell them

outright

without embellishments or promises left lingering

of course always be kind and courteous - they are and will remain someone who was your friend, but let them know that the place you are in today may be different than the place you were in then, that perhaps the nature of the relationship or the experiences you or they have had in life has changed things and it no longer feels like the two of you or group of you are the right fits for each other anymore

it won’t be easy

no one *likes* to hear that

but there will be a time when the friendship has come to a close, when the pathways of your lives have diverged, when you are both many years or experiences down the road, and you find that you haven’t thought about each other the same way for a very long time, but you still remember what was good and happy and lovely about it

and you both remember having that conversation that set the stage for everything that came after. there was no guesswork or things left unsaid or questions about things gone undone; it was final and definite, and there is a closure in that

it’s gonna suck to lose a friend

but it sucks just as much knowing your friendship has gone on longer than is healthy for either one of you

we know that people will often come and go in your life no matter what we think they mean to us and us to them; people are there for certain times, maybe for certain reasons, or maybe chance and happenstance, and we can love and appreciate that as much as we love and appreciate them

but it’s important to recognize when fate tugs at the strands of your lives that were once interwoven away from each other

in the end

just tell them

it will sting, it will hurt, it won’t be easy

but it may be the right thing to do

I dunno if this is what you were hoping to hear anon, but I do wish you and your friend the best of luck and all the love

and I hope the memories you both share will stay forever, no matter what happens

please take care, love you anon <3

[burning-academia-if]

Hey, this isn’t related to the story but I was curious how you got started with twine? Your story inspired me and I want to learn the program so I can make my own. I wanted to see if you had any advice or reference points. Perfectly fine if not, much love regardless!

I've messed with Twine on and off for a while now, so I'm not sure when I actually got into it? It was probably when I originally got into IFs back in like 2015 lol

I use Twine Sugarcube specifically, and I pretty much just watched/read through these:

Twine or Treat: a youtube playlist where a guy shows you how to make a game. Focuses more on making an exploration/puzzle game in Twine, but still has some useful/relevant info

Introduction to Twine: another video playlist, although again, I really only watched what I needed

The Twine Grimoire: there's 3, with each one going through more complicated concepts each volume, includes Harlowe as well as Sugarcube

Sugarcube (and Harlowe) also have their own documentation, but it's so Long and Daunting that I honestly just ignored it when I first started LOL. It's obviously useful to have and reference, but I always need to watch people doing the thing first. I really struggle with just reading through things personally. I'm comfortable enough with Twine now that it isn't overwhelming though lol

Also I'd argue you really only need to learn how to set variables to get started with IFs. Once you know how passages work and how variables work, you're almost set to make an IF.

I'd also recommend learning the very basics HTML and CSS just in case. There's plenty of Twine templates available for free on itch.io, but if you want to adjust them in any way, it's helpful to know CSS/HTML. Also just have fun and mess around! From visual novels to this IF, my learning process has honestly just been 'fuck around and find out' and it's been useful so far! I also think it helps with the inherent anxiety of trying something new too

But yeah, hopefully some of this is helpful/useful to you!

[coldercreation]

making friends is hard but my god dating sucks i hate the apps asdfgfh I need to have emotional connection to feel attracted (think im demi) but how the fuck do i get that when the second i match with a man they start slipping in the sexual comments and jokes? nothing wrong with that if it works for them but to me it feels like a whole ahh culture shock i hate it here fr 

There should be an app called Friends to Lovers😭

[swanqueensalad]

A very long, sad deep dive on the Snow & Regina dynamic, post-everything, for anon

snow and regina are best friends. it's very weird. nobody really wants to use that phrase around regina lest she fireball them... snow really really wants to use that phrase all the time (this is their whole dynamic lol u don’t need to read the rest of the post)

i would say it happened naturally, but it really didn't. it happened with a lot of hard work, honesty, effort, dedication to being better from both of them, and then once all of that was done it was natural, it was sort of impossible to be any other way.

because snow and regina have known each other a long time. longer than most people in their family, in their town. and despite everything that happened after, all the tragedy and pain that the adults around them orchestrated, they were once two little girls that should have been friends. little snow idolised regina and looked up to her in every way, the beautiful kind hearted girl who saved her from a horse, and the instinctive bond between them was always there. there was a sisterly relationship there from the start, and i think for regina as a lonely girl with an awful family life, snow was sweet, and refreshing company to have, even if she got in the way sometimes (just like a little sister would).

and then of course everything comes crashing down, and it is snow's fault but it also isn't, because at the end of the day she was just a little girl mourning her own mother, who cora knew exactly how to manipulate.

but i think the reason regina never saw it this way was because she too was very young and sheltered and her worldview was totally limited by cora's abuse: when regina was snow's age, nothing she did would ever be excused by 'but i was a child'. at snow's age, she had to mind everything very carefully because to put one foot wrong was to be punished severely, held 100 percent accountable. i truly believe the reason regina never excused snow for her age is because she was never excused for hers, ever, even as a tiny child, and as a victim of such abuse in such a controlled environment it never would have occurred to her that that was wrong, or even abnormal.

(i believe a big part of regina and snow's relationship healing was regina's worldview shifting as she grew and changed and worked on healing herself, because as she reevaluted the things cora taught her, she can see the world and the past events in a whole new light. this is of course, a hard and complex process that regina is still working on, but ultimately she does come to realise snow was a child who meant no wrong, who only wanted to help, regardless of the outcome. which doesn't make it not her fault, necessarily, but it adds layers she could not accept before)

regina was married to king leopold for a long time. this is something i've spoken about before, but it's still something i think isn't so well understood, purely because the show didn't go into it that much (and i believe it didn't because it would have simply been too dark and uncomfortable for primetime abc. the writers knew the situation they had put themselves in and kept a distance). if snow was about 10 when regina and leopold married, and 18 when he died, that is 8 years. the better part of a decade. that is a long, long time, especially for a grieving, growing, traumatised girl like regina trapped in the most awful environment in which literally every powerful adult around her was brutally using her in one way or another, manipulating and preying on different parts of her trauma, grief and vulnerability. (while her brain was still developing and processing everything that had already happened and she had zero support system, zero outlet for any emotions. like, some of y'all do not understand how fucked up regina is.,, like, think about that. or don't if you don't wanna be sad forever)  

and all the while, the little girl who caused it all sees nothing wrong! no difference in their relationship, to her! except now she wants to call her mother. (even stepmother is bad enough from a girl no more than 8 years younger than you) and thinking about this stage of their relationship is agonizing to me. regina is at princess snow's beck and call, and this hurts because despite everything, she still feels some affection for her, that sisterly love did not die clean with daniel. the hatred and the blame and the fury just go along with it now, except she cannot express one bit of it. she has to smile and play dolls with her like everything is fine.

snow truly, for a few years at least, saw nothing wrong, or at least convinced herself nothing was wrong because her worldview as a well loved princess meant she could easily excuse any questionable things she picked up on. and this is something i think she definitely struggles with later, and even way into her healed post everything relationship with regina. (we talk a lot about regina's guilt and internally never feeling able to atone for it all, but god, snow feels so much guilt for everything regina went through. and i think at some point, they are able to talk about it. not in depth. not in detail. but with very few words, they both understand the depth of meaning and of immense shared pain. regina is not sure what she feels about forgiveness, but she knows she loves snow, and that snow has always loved her. she knows that now they are family, and their time together is lovely, and so she has acceptance at least, if not forgiveness).

i think the moment leopold is dead and snow is out on her own, she starts reconsidering everything. in the last few years she has questioned things a little more, but never let herself really go there, because she has never had to, and why would she when it is so painful? but alone, with her father dead and regina behaving so out of character (or is she, snow wonders), she can't help but look back without the rose tinted lens of her childhood. she remembers things. regina's silences and trembles at the breakfast table. the way she was ignored, sidelined, stared at. the dark circles under her eyes. all those times they had been playing, or walking, and regina seemed to be a million miles away, jolted back to earth only by snow's insistence.

more reluctantly, she thinks about her father and the way he treated her. the way he looked at her. the way he spoke to her (or didn't). spoke about her. the things he must have done. this is something snow still doesn't really process for a long time, because snow idolised her father, but eventually she cannot deny he must have hurt her.

and then there's that episode of season 1 where we get the dialogue 'she thinks i ruined her life' 'did you?' 'yes'. i think bandit snow, processing these things, dealing with a lot of new feelings of anger and pain, started putting two and two together. (but i don't think she fully confronts the real, most awful truth until years later, because she can't.)

i think ultimately the thing that hurts the most about all they went through when they were basically at war was that deep down, they still cared for each other. 'love never left the room' and all that. hatred and pain and fury existed too, overwhelmingly, overpoweringly so, but ultimately they grew up together. (it's just one of them grew up having to 'raise' the other). they still had  memories tined with warmth of horse riding together, walking together.

and so when they do start to heal, (as i believe snow always fiercely hoped they would, deep down), it's not so much that they have to create a relationship but to rebuild and unearth one that was already there, one that never should have been torn down like it was. of course it's tentative at first, but snow never once stopped having hope that one day regina would change and they would find their way back into each others lives. and once the trust is back, the feeling of family, of working together for the same goal and being willing to risk everything protecting each other because of circumstance...

once that's there, it's the other things that re emerge more softly and slowly.

the coffee at granny's. first, a little awkward, a little quiet without emma and david and henry to fill the gaps in conversation. but gradually, they realise they have a lot to talk about, a lot of shared opinions in ways that matter and vastly differing opinions in ways that don't, but are fun to debate.

the parenting advice. the stories regina has to share about henry as a little boy, the grandson whose first ten years snow only ever saw as a school teacher. the way regina helps her learn to care for neal. the passing on to him of henry's saved onesies and blankets.

the silly jokes that gradually start to form between them, against all odds.

the teaming up against david and emma when they suggest something particularly dumb.

the cooking together! snow is hopeless but enthusiastic, regina is skillful and finds it calming, so it becomes a thing.

the clinking wine glasses at family dinners.

the extreme competition on board game nights.

the hugs at the end of the day, which go from being stiff and quick and awkward with pain and memories caught up in every brush of the fingers, to warm and natural as anything.

the way snow is able to sit down with regina when she is caught up in her own thoughts and issues, and give her rational advice from a far more positive and balanced place than regina's brain allows her. the way she is able to hold regina's hand and support her. (it feels like making up for past tragedies. not nearly enough, but it's something.)

the way regina, equally, is able to keep snow grounded and bring her down to earth when she's panicking, the way she can simply and efficiently allow her to talk through her worries and daily struggles, give her space to ramble and talk and be, but also to give her to the point, no nonsense, blunt advice that snow needs and rarely gets anywhere else.

the way that somehow, strangely, against all odds, snow beings mothering regina a little, in a weird turnaround of events that feels more right and more balancing than anything else. the way she holds her hand, looks out for her, checks in with her, gives that kind of advice and reflection. because now it's regina who needs it, and snow who can provide it. because somehow, seamlessly, regina also became her daughter in law, and her relationship with emma is something that brings snow a deep sense of peace, gratitude, warmth. (now regina is truly family in the beautiful way she always was meant to be. now she knows regina and emma will both be cared for, loved, as they deserve. she knows someone will look after regina, someone will ground emma. they will laugh and cry and build a home and life together, a life not too dissimilar from the one with daniel that snow inadvertently stole from regina a long time ago)

i think they do speak about things that have transpired between them, sometimes, when it comes up and one or both of them feel they have to vocalise something. it's never in front of others, even david and emma. some things are entirely between the two of them, and nobody else will understand, or needs to.

they speak softly, respectfully, giving each other space and quiet validation. sometimes they cry, or get angry, but it's never really at each other and they both understand this now. sometimes they cry for the girls they were and what was taken from them both. sometimes one or both of them feels or thinks something they cannot speak or say to the other, and they both respect that.

i think they have both apologised. sincerely. and i think they don't need to go into any detail, really. they both just know.

but they are equals now, entirely. no more titles, no more real power dynamics, despite any maternal/caretaking instincts that snow might feel. they are the equals they were always supposed to be, and the people with the friendship the girls they once were would have wanted.

and they can laugh together. this is the thing that warms my heart most. just thinking of snow and regina laughing together, simply, over some very silly joke that isn't even that funny.

[frnkiebby]

my friend let me read frank smut and now I have to have a shower to cleanse myself of my sins, like every other shower, but that's not the point, the point is it's not that bad and I was lacking sin anyway

oh my fucking god anon i’m CACKLING 😂☠️

your friend let you—i love this sm you don’t even know.

sometimes we all need a little sin in our lives anyway. if you liked it you liked it

let me be the first (second?) to welcome you to the frank whore club~🎃

(dw you’ll find the NOT good ones rq)

[kindlyanni]

hi, i hope you're well today.

i watched your sketchbook tour video on yt (from like 2 days ago) and so, i wanted to try to ask for advice, if you want to give it ofcourse, no pressure to.

you see, i love sketces so much, there's just some special beuty about them. i really enjoy seeing artists' sketches, including yours, ofcourse. i love seeing them on tumblr & yt.

also, even though i'm 26, i'm a COMPLETE begginner at drawing. i'm struggeling with the basic boxes-in-correct-perspective things, drawing faceless heads and motionless torsos, and.. yea, that's it. i know practice is the only way to advance in drawing, but i can't bring myself to. i see artists like you filling your sketchbooks with characters you're passionate about and honestly that's all i've ever wanted to be able to do, but i literally don't have the ability to do so.

just to be clear, i'm not asking you how to motivate myself to draw. the thing is, even though people are telling me that maybe it's not meant to be and i should give up, some insane part of me refuses to let this dream go. my question to you, as someone who somehow got there, is: do you think it's doomed? do you think that me struggeling so much with the drawing itself AND the motivation, means i won't be able to do it? do you think if i'm not having fun with it now, than i'll never get to a point where it will?

it might sound dumb, but it's a thing i'm nervous about. and after seeing your sketchbook, filled with so much characters and stories that i could see are so dear to your heart and so fun for you to draw, i'd love to hear (read) youe 2 scents about it, if you're willing to share. again, no pressure to.

thanks in advance, though.

Hi there Anon!

I'mma be frank and honest here: "maybe it's not meant to be and you should give up" is the absolutely stupidest thing someone can say to you. What the hell?? Dear Anon, if you feel even the tiniest bit of "I want to draw" then you should draw. You don't have to be good at drawing to draw, that's what's great about it. Anyone can find something to draw with and something to draw on. And just draw. If the act of drawing scratches some itch for you, then that's all you need. It doesn't mean it has to be fun all the time, though. Sometimes I can't get part of the drawing right, or even the whole drawing! Sometimes I hate what I finished drawing. Sometimes I want to draw but nothing comes out. But the itch is still there, it doesn't go away completely. You say it's your dream, then you should follow it. Everyone starts somewhere, and it's never too late too start. It's never too late. When you're dead it's too late.

If you don't feel the itch for drawing anymore, then you know it's time to move on to other things. And that's okay too, and it's not giving up. And don't let anyone else tell you that you should give up, if it is your passion.

In case you have sketchbook anxiety, don't think a sketchbook has to be one big art piece with each page something instagram worthy. I know it's become a thing where artists share their sketchbooks on social media and it's so Aesthetic™ that it's giving anxiety and pressure for everyone to have a sketchbook that pretty, but it really doesn't have to. You don't have to show it to anyone. Or you don't have to even have a sketchbook. Draw on random paper and put them in a folder. I did that for ages. The ones I use now aren't really sketchbooks either, but sketch pads with spirals. And those work the best for me. I have a few books but I haven't finished any of them.

If stiff figures is your issue, I suggest figure/life drawing as practice. Drawing tutorials about boxes and circles and proportions can only get you so far. Gather images of people in different poses. Dancing is really good for this. Sports too. And the less clothes the better. Draw what you see. Do it in 1 minute, 2 minutes, 5... Focus less on getting details right and more on the flow, the movement of the body. Tracing the image is lower effort and not as beneficial, but it still helps get the idea of how things are shaped and connected etc. And remember you don't have to show these practice drawings to anyone.

I know thanks to social media there's this pressure to show everything you make. But you really don't have to, if it makes you nervous. When I started drawing, we didn't have tumblr, twitter, ig or facebook. I drew a shit ton! I bought so many drawing pads, and no one has seen most of what's in there. I drew for myself. I had a webcomic idea and I drew so much of the characters and what would happen with them in the comic. I've drawn So. Much. And just recently I'm at a point where I can show my entire sketchbook to the entire internet. I wouldn't have done that maybe like 6-8 years ago. And I still skip some pages I don't want to show, for one reason or another. And that's fine.

Gosh, this became a longer reply than I intended. I hope it helps! Find that thing that makes you want to draw. For me it was the story I wanted to make and the characters for it (I started the webcomic but never finished it lmao). For you it can be your OCs, or some other characters, it can be a pet or a band you really like, it can be Nicholas Cage, or flowers, or anything! Find the itch and scratch it real good.

Let me share a drawing of mine from 20 years ago (I was 16):

[skeletalheartattack]

i just want you to know that i and a couple of my friends follow you and because of your skeleton tag every time we see a skull or a skeleton or even a bone we now yell SKELETON or possibly THE SKELETON APPEARS. life improved immeasurably by this 11/10 thank you for your influence

Thank you for taking the SKELETON challenge!! can you find the skeleton? now?

[sga-owns-my-soul]

The sga fandom has so many people over 30 + do you know anyone that’s a minor (I’m also a minor ) and enjoys the fandom .

there definitely are a couple blogs out there! i don't think they make up a huge part of our fandom, but it definitely seems to be growing and more kids have been finding stargate, which i love!! feel free to use this post to find each other!

[i-am-just-a-girli]

Relationship advice please?

I started dating this Tumblr mutual in Jan 2024 he talked to me really nicely and gave me time for the 2 months everything was perfect uk but then March came and he doesn't give me time . He has University and also works so I give him his space but on the weekends aswell he doesn't talk much.

Well have you talked to him about it? If you haven't yet then you certainly should. Tell him how you feel and then see.

From his POV, it's understandable since he has uni + he works so maybe he wants his space or rest so he doesn't talk much but then again, if he can't handle being in a relationship along with managing all that then he shouldn't have entered into one.

So talk to him and see how he does from now on, if he still doesn't change or put in any effort then you should probably ask for a break and then use that to focus on yourself and try to figure things out. And then take your final decision.

Hope it helps!

[llawlieta]

French anon, THANK YOU!!! I'm not posting the ask because it is quite long and I can't put a readmore on an ask, of course, but I am ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED. THIS IS AWESOME. I commend you for your effort! Good luck with your GCSE and your French classes next year as well!! I'm so glad you had fun translating my chapter 🌻🌻🌻

[vro0m]

https://www.tumblr.com/vro0m/725378963631964160/i-think-i-posted-that-before-at-some-point-but-of?source=share

Do you feel the same about Lewis pedophile friend Leo and that other actor who abused his wife?

I mean it's completely different, because we have actual info on some of Lewis' acquaintances that points to the fact that they're assholes.

With Charles' friends it's just a vibe.

[uncanny-tranny]

(for transsexual thursday) i’m a trans man and i’d just like to appreciate how awesome it is to know other trans people. just finding people that understand and connect with you. it’s such a welcoming feeling :D

It's so awesome when you have a variety of trans friends... like it truly shows you that we have so much more in common than we don't, and I forever cherish the friends I have made along the way.... truly such a special and unique relationship <3

[youngestdaughtersyndrome]

i honestly spend almost the entirety of my non-working waking hours on my phone which is a LOT of time ....... how do you pass all of that without technology??? thank you 😭😭😭

man i wish i had something helpful to say but i literally spent thirty minutes this morning pretending to be a little dormouse while i swept and dusted to make the task more whimsical and enjoyable so i really don't know

[tea-and-secrets]

Everything is too scary, i have been going through the stress of a very important school year, constantly studying, remembering trauma i had forgotten, cutting off an abusive person off my life and trying to figure out if i have osdd1B (i have been researching for at least 5 months and logging my symptoms, i cant be so sure yet) and for some reason i keep finding myself telling people (online, the only person irl i have told is my therapist) abt my symptoms, in some cases telling them i might have osdd 1B and while one part of me wants to tell deeply and to be free from this burden of hiding it, another part of me is so so scared. Of turning out to be wrong, of people hating me in result, of people fake claiming me for something i am not even sure yet. So i have kept ot hidden after an incident like this 5 months ago. But now after i have told my therapist about my issues with my identity it all started unraveling

I am trying my best to keep going, i study for hours a day every day, try to regulate my mental health and try to know who i am and i just need to hear that someone is proud of me regardless. Regardless if i succeed, regardless if i fail, regardless if i have osdd1b, regardless if i don't i just. Need to hear that everyone wont hate me because i am questioning if I have that

<3

[stnaf-vn]

I have a debate in my Sociology course tomorrow and my social anxiety is quaking does friend have any words of encouragement before I turn to dust?

🌸Send help im disintegrating🌸

"Sweetheart, you got this!! Kick their asses! Tell 'em why they are wrong!! And if anyone is mean to you, just let me know." *cracks knuckles* ~ Friend

[sapphic-luthor]

how did you get through the fear of coming out to your closest friends? i feel like i can tell the entire world about my sexuality but it wouldnt matter if my closest friends knew and started looking at me differently and i know that if they do they shouldn't be my friends but i just wish i had the courage to

i got quite lucky bc nearly all of my closest friends were a) living apart from me because we'd gone away to university and b) also gay so i got to just send a text to a group chat and everyone was like 'cool same' and that was that lol.

i don't know if this is comforting in any way but at the beginning, its going to be scary no matter how much you love them, they love you, or how ready you are to tell them. it's just a big frightening thing to do.

my best advice here is to just drop it super casually and let them decide how "big of a deal" to make it. for example, if you sit everyone down and say "alright i have something i need to tell you guys" you're going to create the SCARIEST environment for both yourself and them. maybe instead throw a nothing text into a group chat like "going on a date w a girl later, which shirt should i wear" or even literally just "btw i'm dating girls now" or something lol. chances are if you are really casual about it (and if they are good friends who love and support you) they will follow your lead so as not to make you uncomfortable and you can ease into any further conversations about it much more naturally.

alternatively, if the thought really puts the fear of god into you, maybe you just aren't ready to tell them yet. if you're ready but scared, try to make a plan (day, method, text you'll send etc) so you can just do it whenever you have a moment of blind bravery. if you don't think you're ready, don't rush! you'll get to it eventually. you don't owe it to anyone if you don't wanna.