#just myself tho
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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destiel forehead healing kiss. what more could u want.
#art#digital art#my art 🦷#digital painting#supernatural#destiel#castiel#dean winchester#spn fanart#spn#destiel fanart#i am. so tired.#i tried my hardest to not half ass this and give up#i sorta accomplished that but not really#ill have some grace for myself tho cause i really struggled to make art this month :/#spn fanart is so theraputic tho#i missed making my visions for this show#it also just felt like the most low stakes thing to make#this looks way better *not* on mobile.. too lazy to edit this shit now
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decided to redraw and improve this silly thing i did two years ago
here's the two compared like damn the colors on the first what was that 😭
#my style has drastically changed specially in the past year so it's nice to see such a big difference and sctually feel proud of myself#i can't stop drawing them this is becoming a problem#wenclair fanart#im also doing some prompts for wenclairtober but i'll probably do another post for those once i have a few more#i'll be posting them on tw tho!#they're mostly just going to be b&w sketches i really don't have time for more#wenclair#enid sinclair#wednesday addams#wednesday x enid#wednesday netflix#evgarart
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
#warm up#this isn't good#writeblr#this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3#but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker#and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS#the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt#and medical debt#i will put that first little bit of cash#into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option#but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver#oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs
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we need to destroy the idea that girls should wear makeup. normalize bare faces on prom queens and flower girls and cheerleaders. no products at all instead of '7 product simple makeup routine.' no more 10 step skincare and regular facials and dermablading and gua sha just to be comfortable with yr natural face. i want to see eye bags on the funny librarian and acne on the swim coach and wrinkles on all our adult role models. i want to see a 16 year old girl that has never tried putting on eyeshadow. i want to see a 7 year old girl who doesn't have to go out and buy powder for her dance recital. i want to see trans women and girls everywhere to never have to wear makeup, regardless of how well they 'pass.' no more 'contouring to look masc' either. a post-beauty industry world is possible
reblogs are on but if you bring up the stage makeup point that i have addressed three times yr blocked on sight ☹️
#this is me warding myself against the b arbie m ovie shitstorm. </3#too many teenage girls have had 'bimbo feminist' thrust upon them by the attention economy + consumer-feminist culture#its ok to just be fucking lame. like you can still be fem/me and stuff while doing it#there is a world where you can feel comfortable in yrself even if you arent Aesthetic#the makeup industry is trying to hinder this tho#plus i saw that post thats like. 'the reason we see a lot of casual pseudo-gender-essentialist and choice feminism rhetoric...#... is because we have fewer posts now that have basic feminist messages'#that resonated so i am the change i want to see in the world#i wanna try and make a r iot g rrrl masterpost for anyone getting into that side of things later so lmk if you want to see it
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MY BBG POOKIE PIE!!!
#I’ve seen like 3 posts talking about how the “babygirl-ification” of fiddleford is an issue#and that he needs to be held accountable for his bad actions#so I’m here to tell you that#he has never done anything wrong and will never do anything wrong ever in his life#:))))#IM JOKING#I’m about to ramble in the tags btw#in seriousness I think the people that make Fidds “babygirl” if you will are people who are drawn to the complexities of his character#the people that appreciate the complexities and not ignoring them#maybe I’m just speaking for myself here but I think he’s such an interesting and cool character#the babygirlification happens after that tho but not instead of#except for in my au where he literally doesn’t do anything wrong and is perfect :)#my art#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket#gravity falls
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An old sketch of Damian Wayne and Jason Todd ofc ofc. Damian has always been one of my favorite dc characters (next to Bart!! ik. drastic difference), but I never draw him (or Bart but I'll fix that dw).
I always like it when these two get along. They are like opposite sides of the same coin to me.
Drawn Nov 5, 2020 (prob the oldest art piece that I'll repost lol).
This was in my queue but I'm posting it early bc why not?
#omensarttag#omensoldart#damian wayne and jason todd#they're brothers your honor#to me at least#i dont like the values here. i did not have a good grasp of them in 2020. tho you can argue that i still do not now. but i like to think#that i know a bit more now than i did then. and so i can critique myself there with some pride. (forgive my hubris aksjkaj)#i hate working in greyscale btw. i just did not feel like coloring this at the time and i'll never touch it again.#digital art#artwork#artists on tumblr#fanart#dc comics#dc universe#dc robin#dc fanart#batfam#jason todd#damian wayne#dc damian wayne#dc jason todd#red hood#dc red hood
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herbology class 🌹🌿 (from chap 2 of my fic!)
#his alliteration/pun combo is even more lame in the actual chap bc seb holds up a dittany seed as he says this#bro had the dad jokes before he even became a dad😔👌#alliterations are just how they flirt.....losers...and i notice them EVERYWHERE now too. ive cursed myself#also MY ONESHOT IS LIKE 70-80% DONE I THINK?? im 30k words in but i might end up making it 2 chaps instead#idk im still deciding..itll depend on if i find a cutoff point that im happy with. cuz right now i dont like splitting it anywhere LOL#but maybe ill do it and release the first part just so that i can get it out and then finish the latter half later...decisions decisions#also now that im done my fic i also wanna draw a bunch of the earlier scenes i never did like this one#so weird drawing seb and clora not together yet tho LOL esp for seb. like damn there was a time u COULDNT just smooch clora?? nightmare....#i also almost drew clora wearing her hairclip SO many times by mistake LOL. thats the plus side of pre-seblora tho. dont gotta draw it🤪#hogwarts legacy#hphl#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#clora clemons#sebastian x mc#choccyart#mirabel garlick#hogwarts legacy fanfiction
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Permission to headbutt: Granted (Patreon)
#My art#UT#Sans#Papyrus#Ft. something smol and I do on a regular basis ♪#This could be Handplates or it could be classic Undertale I leave that up to you lol#I definitely picked up a lot of the style quirks lol - but there are some of the ones that I like myself! Like Papyrus' darkmode clothes lol#And Sans' shorts having the stripe in the front haha - little details ♫#Realistically it probably is Handplates tho just based on where my head's at lol - I love the Handplates dynamic :D#Handplates#I talked myself into it! Pfft ♪#I found myself relating a lot to Sans especially while rereading - I want nothing more in the world than for my siblings to be happy! <3#So I gathered up a bunch of ideas of things especially me and smol do together and this was the most obviously cute one haha#Easiest to do! Tho I did still go a little extra on this lol#I'm trying to do more digital stuff ♪ It wasn't the best art day and I'm still a little nervous to jump right in :')#Not doing any sketches on paper beforehand feels weird but I guess it is thematic in a way lol#And I'm still pleased with how they turned out hehe#It really does feel nice to be drawing them again <3#And doing silly sibling things! Hehe#I dunno how clear it is since it's so ingrained into how smol and I talk to each other lol family language!#One of us will literally just announce ''bonk'' and the other will prepare for/lean in for a headbutt haha#She is a tiny bit taller than me - it's not quite /this/ extreme but she does lean down for me! S'cute <3#I like to think Papyrus would do the same hehe ♪ Let your lazy brother headbutt you! He can only reach so far!#On minimal effort anyhow hehe#It's just a fun way to be silly together ♫♪#Also yes I did show this to her and she cosigned lol - ''Cute'' -smol
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Remember when you could unleash other peoples music taste upon the world by unplugging their headphone jack
Ingo wanted to be a Sibling and lightly prank Emmet by revealing his tunes to the break room. Not only the depot agents, but Ingo himself are shocked at what they hear. Ingo's so shocked and amused he just keeps going off like "Sea shanties!! Why not listen to rail shanties? Track-laying work songs?? 1800s train folksongs!? The betrayal! A song about the sea of all things! You hate the sea! And boats! Emmet you're a train conductor, what happened!? Where is the railway-loving, train-engineering brother I grew up with???"
#submas#pokemon ingo#pokemon emmet#subway boss ingo#subway boss emmet#here you go submas followers i promise i still enjoy these lads#icys drawings and doodles#this has been in my brain for weeks but i just havent been able to get myself to draw til now#sorry if the handwriting is hard to read in some spots oogh#sea shanties kinda rip tho if you can find a cover that hits your tastes#a capella shanties - metal cover shanties - pop cover shanties - light instrument shanties - etc#the song is Wellerman btw
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i love ao3 but tumblr fanfics just hit different 😩😩
#i’m not saying it just to say it#it’s a fact#i speak only the truth#you fanfic writers are geniuses#james potter x reader#peter parker x reader#bucky barnes x reader#ron weasley x reader#remus lupin x reader#marc spector x reader#loki x reader#sirius black x reader#steven grant x reader#percy jackson x reader#harry potter x reader#steve rogers x reader#did i just expose myself on how i chose to use this silly little website every now and then 🫣#these are my lifelines tho so <33#esp the angsty ones#nadirants
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theyre soft your honour
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#okkotsu yuuta#inumaki toge#inuokko#inumaki#yuuta#fanart#jjk fanart#timelapse#long time no canon fits !!!#still having the time of my life playing with these brushes#i was just gna do a regular draws to slap on the ask i just got but i decided 2 record it last minute fgdgd#didnt know if an mp4 file would cooperate if i tried to put it under an ask so i played it safe#but know this is fr u anon <3#i ..... cannot believe i am continuing my streak from last night of Forgetting very key and very obvious design elements#last night it was yuuij's sukuna scars.... today it is inumaki's tattoos.......#smh im Slipping fr#breaking news tumblr user hinamie fake jjk fan And fake fanartist :C#its ok tho ! crisis averted!! me forgetting them may be caught in 4k but i Did catch myself before posting th video#that would have been tragic i would have been chased out of this fandom with pitchforks. i wld have been pelted with rocks#anyway i like this piece a lot i like them i like the black/white/blue#VERY happy i got yuuta's hair right without too much hassel#turns out i know how to draw and references r a godsend <3#oh also !!! @ the person who asked about my colouring process this is what i was talking abt re: painting with an underpaint layer#helps everything look cohesive :3
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i know i just posted something like 3 seconds ago but Whatever. Go forth my besties (ted and teto)
#art#my art#utau#teto#kasane teto#kasane ted#not a fan of most ted designs so i just threw one together myself#there’s no good way to do his hair btw…… i gave him THREE drills. This is fucked up#even tho ted and teto are 2 of my faves i never draw them ever#i should do more art of my fave vocaloids + utauloids#i drew speedy torane and waltt a while back for a cover i did with them#but i don’t think i posted it here#woops ehe
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tos jim kirk is very funny to me because he is so bad with children. you'd think he'd be good with them, but he isn't. i think he probably likes them well enough, he just. doesn't know how to talk to them. not one bit. has no idea how to interact. kids can tell he's trying, but he's bad enough at it that they don't really like him more for it. type of guy who you'd hand a baby to, and he'd hold it out in front of him with stiff arms. like, um. what do i do with this. he could be coached on proper holding technique, but he'd still look visibly uncomfortable the whole time.
tos spock is Not Much Better. i think that he feels more clueless around kids than kirk does, but kids also like him more. he doesn't have it in him to be mean to a child ever, so all the awkward kids adore him, and he spends the whole time with them sending desperate looks to other crew members, being like, 'help, i am ill equipped for childcare' and everyone around him is like, 'nooo, you're doing great!!!' while the child has a blast and he is wishing desperately to be Anywhere Else. however, he does refuse care of babies. somehow, he is even worse with babies than jim is.
bones, though - he's a kid guy. he loves kids and babies. he adores them, they adore him, it's a win win. and he looks over at kirk and spock Struggling and he laughs and laughs and laughs. (the kids, of course, think this is hilarious, and they join in on making fun of kirk and spock, even if they don't really know what they're making fun of them for.)
#in spite of not being much of a kid person myself i *do* enjoy the kid fic genre. but.#giving tos spirk a kid requires a certain amount of suspension of disbelief. my tos spirk are both Fucking Clueless#i've read some very very good aos spirk kid fics tho so maybe aos kirk is better with children. i don't know him well but he seems like it#anyways i'm spock in this scenario. i want nothing to do with babies. kids exhaust and frighten me but inexplicably love me#benjamin sisko: first captain who actually likes (and is good with!!) children. picard? hates 'em. kirk? just can't handle 'em.#tos#james t kirk#jim kirk#kirk#spock#bones mccoy#leonard mccoy#star trek#star trek tos#triumvirate#mcspirk
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the wall between us
redraw of this illustration series i made back in 2019. i'd say i've improved lol.
#ml#lovesquare#ladrien#adrienette#ladynoir#marichat#redraw#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#adrien agreste#chat noir#ladybug#marienette dupain cheng#mine#my art#my fanart#my ml fanart#mozzydraws#one of the biggest ways i've grown as an artist since i made the original post five years ago is with backgrounds#now just the quality of the bgs (tho that's obvs also important haha)#but honestly just the fact that i DO bgs like. at all#that was a huge huuuuuge chasm for me to bridge for myself#i lacked knowledge about creating backgrounds yeah#but i think the biggest thing was confidence!#now when i do bgs i go into the piece with a fierce determination#and with the desire to grow and improve with each illustration#so i feel so much more confident calling myself a character ILLUSTRATOR now#because i can put my characters into believable environments#that enhance the audience's experience/emotional connection to the piece#long ramble sorry lol
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ovulation horny makes me want to do unspeakable things 😵💫
#lesbian#les.rambles#wlw blog#so close to just asking some girl if she wants to hook up#not gonna do it tho i know myself#wlw#sapphic nsft#lesbian yearning#girls who like girls#wlw yearning#wlw nsft#wlw community#wlw post#sapphic yearning#femme lesbian#femme 4 masc#butch bait#femme nsft#wlw love#lesbian nsft#femme 4 all#femme 4 butch#bd/sm kink#praise k!nk#free use slvt#cnc free use#wlw ns/fw#men dni#minors dni
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