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#just making sure i dont fit in
asilosmagdalena · 1 year
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Does anyone know the name of the mental disorder that would make a grown ass mostly heterosexual man spend an ungodly amount of money amassing a collection of 27 photobooks & pamphlets and several boxes of merch for some Japanese boy band that no one in the US has ever heard of and also formed a decade before my birth and disbanded before I graduated high school? Pray for me in the hopes I'll get better soon ❤️
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ruthimages · 11 months
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dontbelasagne · 7 months
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desperately need to do a presentation on why the Twelfth Doctors journey perfectly represents the transfem experience
their previous eleventh incarnation being suave and hypersexual (i know moffat is mostly to blame but!) is reminiscent of attempts to fit into heteronormative ideals of masculinity. whilst it is not completely insincere, there are obvious signs this does not fit you as a person, it is acted out of desperate need to being seen. as Vastra put it, eleven wore that face, and subsequently that form of masculinity, to be accepted. on becoming twelve, realising even an "idealised" masculinity does not inherently serve them, they retreated into themselves as a person for self-reflection and trying to understand why they feel so detached from who they are.
the "am i a good man" arc mirrors being closeted and having to present as something not inherently tied to your sense of self, but still wanting to be the best of your perceived gender as any failure could leave you spiralling into self-doubt about simply being like any other "man". you ignore your gender dysphoria/questioning by trying to claim a moralistic view of gendered expression. made even more clear by Twelve rejecting Clara's heroic view of them, establishing that even though they have made efforts to be a "good man", that is just a placeholder for their loss of identity.
Missy appearing as she does, who as a character serves as a parallel to The Doctor on what they could become, and her eventual arc in trying to become good is symbolic of the fear around transition regret that internalised transphobia can create when you are closeted. Missy never gives importance to their fem existence other than nonchalant jokes, rather showing a more free and expressive personality devoid of any frustration. this immediately dismisses the transphobic assumption that trans people are only focused on their gender. also, Missy representing trans femininity is inherently tied to chaos and upsetting the status quo, she is the embodiment of what society considers accepting your womanhood as someone previously labelled masculine. what many others, and The Doctor themselves, saw as a need for attention and senseless disruption is Missy not needing to serve a false version of who they are, that they can now focus on becoming whoever they want to be now without losing energy to performing a gender that society has imposed on you. Missy could never have made the decision to stand with The Doctor if she had not given importance to her own queerness.
it wasn't coincidence with meeting Bill, she was the perfect foil for The Doctor to finally let go of their anxious attachment to masculinity. i would even argue for the majority of s10, The Doctor is largely ambiguous in their gender identity and does not fit into any construction of masculinity or femininity. whilst they still present as something socially labelled as masculine, they do not internalise that gender expression. they are uncaring about and not needing the validity that comes with heteronormativity, and thus is free to finally accept the decision they have to make. as Bill says, it is so hard to let go of The Doctor, and that rings true for twelve themselves. but they begin to realise The Doctor can be anyone. yes, they are tired, it would be so easy to simply rest and not give value to who you can become. but choosing to let go of everything you once were to survive is better than oblivion. it is better to let go, to choose another lifetime where the only person that dies is your falsity, to finally get it right and choose kindness. for yourself and for those who you love. they regenerate, not just into another person, but into someone who (if only tv scripts...) can now move forward.
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aroaceleovaldez · 2 months
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having been in the fandom for awhile, one interesting shift I remember seeing was around when BoO came out and people realized solangelo was implied to be a future thing, people were kind of scrambling to remember literally anything about Will cause of how minor of a character he had been up until that point.
And one of the things they were looking at with Will was that previously to BoO, people thought Will was a lot older. Because he was a cabin counselor (and generally how he was usually interacting with characters like Percy, Annabeth, and Clarisse - all 16+ish, or Leo - 15/16), most people assumed he was closer to 16 at least, if not actually older than Percy. It wasn't uncommon to see HoO!Will being 17 or so (this is also why there's a decent amount of hcs of him being at CHB pre-BoTL despite not existing until TLO). After BoO happened, it wasn't uncommon to see Solangelo content with a significantly older Will.
Like, it has always been implied in the series that Will is on the younger side (since Michael Yew joined CHB in SoM and Will is younger than him/would have joined BoTL at the earliest) and it's just the entire Apollo cabin keeling over in TLO that made Will counselor. But I just think it's interesting to remember that for awhile Will was not confirmed to be 13 in HoO/14 in TOA when solangelo first became a thing/people started paying attention to Will, and the fandom very widely thought he was older.
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rexscanonwife · 6 months
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Uhm uh uh...I have no excuse for this 😔 PPG self insert who is secretly an alien! I imagine her intro episode would have her having a little romance with the professor when he comes into a bookstore she works at/owns and the girls being (rightfully, given the prof's dating history) suspicious of her. Wacky capers ensue where they try to prove that she's up to no good, only to find that she genuinely is just chilling and wants to live a normal life on earth!
Well, normal as she can, now that she knows this family! I think she'd fit right in 😉
Taglist♡: @crushes-georg @changeling-selfship @me-myself-and-my-fos @tiny-cloud-of-flowers @sunstar-of-the-north @dearly-beeloved @adoredbyalatus @squips-ship @cherry-bomb-ships @miutonium
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meamiiikiii · 4 months
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5% of a color headcanon.... two versions since b&w emphasizes the dagger more i think but i still like the warm tones ASFSADA
i am not biased towards rainbow daggers whatsoever i promise (lie)
((also friend is streaming now and im there too!! bit more info linked here, its rated mature tho))
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#i think tumblr is chewing on this ah well#its more of a weapon color headcanon than anything else tbh SAFASDA#but its very funny in my mind to refer to this as#insert percent amount of color headcanon here ASDASFA#i do not have many color headcanons tbh???#overall i would say i have like 1.15(ish) color headcanons that are solid in my brain across the cast???#the rainbow dagger has been in my minds eye for a long time#um SPOILERISH talk ahead in tag talk so be warned#i am serious!! turn back now if u dont want SPOILERS!!!#can u imagine if siffrins parents had lovingly crafted that white cloak and helped him pick out the pure black fit when younger#so they could be fashionably black and white like if things were in color or something#but then the first thing siffrin picks out on their own terms is literally the most colorful thing imaginable for the dagger#i do not know if that makes much sense but yeah#it is fun in my minds eye ASDAFA#actually is it ever mentioned where siffrin got the dagger??#was it also passed down????#ik the cloak was for sure from his family#and the pure black fit underneath is up in the air i think#tho if it was a first pass pick from parents#and he continued to pick it again and again after they got older subconsciously or not might be fun to think about#also do not mind the art style shift it might happen again LMAO#probably sparingly tho? who knows!!!#should i link stream in this post??? i dont know???#i feel a lil bad if it isnt related?????#oh well im doing it anyway because friendship :]#honestly did not think i would also have anything to post today but uh oops sorta just happened and it lined up so ASFASDA#anyway tag talk over stream time WOOO and i think i hit tag limit LMAO
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after failing miserably the first go around, (crochet) Home's walls are complete! we're less than halfway there but hey! The Walls!
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of-the-eventide · 26 days
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...who else could I love but you, my brave little spark...?
auraugust 2024 - myth truth
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Thinking about the KaeyaJeanDiluc friendship where they grew up together and they were CLOSE & sure maybe Jean felt like Diluc & Kaeya were closer since they were brothers & sure maybe Kaeya felt like he had to keep secrets from the two of them bc they would never understand but they were like. A trio! A team!
& then Diluc’s 18th birthday comes around and everything goes to shit and Diluc LEAVES so they’re no longer KaeyaJeanDiluc but just Kaeya & Jean & in some ways Kaeya and Jean get closer because of it but there’s also a pronounced DISTANCE where Jean doesn’t know how to reach Kaeya anymore & Kaeya is even more determined not to tell Jean anything & they both lose themselves in their duties to Mondstadt while also missing Diluc and ALSO, despite everything, offering each other unconditional support
& then Diluc comes BACK & in addition to Kaeya & Jean there’s the shaky reestablishment of Jean & Diluc and Diluc & Kaeya but it’s not THE SAME. they’re no longer KaeyaJeanDiluc; Jean & Kaeya are knights and Diluc will never be a knight again & they all changed while Diluc was away & none of them know how to talk to each other anymore AND YET there’s still an undercurrent of trust!! Not fully, especially between Kaeya & Diluc, but Diluc still calls on Jean during the archon quest, trusting that she will keep their secrets even though as the acting grandmaster she should probably not. Jean says in her about Diluc voiceline that she understands why Diluc hates the knights & is working hard to make them an organization he can trust again. Kaeya covers for Diluc’s darknight hero escapades & fondly reminisces about their childhood in front of him. Diluc invited Kaeya to dinner at the winery & (afaik) never told anyone about Kaeya’s origins. Kaeya tells the traveler that they need to give Jean their full support and planned a birthday party for her. Jean left Kaeya in charge of Mondstadt when she went to the golden apple archipelago! On some level they recognize that their goals still align!! There’s still trust and love there but there’s also this gap between them that none of them know how to cross and I just!!!
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mewtwo24 · 9 months
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I just started reading the svsss volumes (and re-read them again because A LOT IS GOING ON) but like. This shit is so hysterically funny I don't even know where to begin.
Was no one????? Going to tell me that one of the cornerstone jokes in the damn series is that lbh's adoration for his one and only 'tism person who literally cannot express his emotions to save his life is basically genetic?????????
Was no one???? No one AT ALL going to tell me that Mobei-Jun straight up yeets Airplane at the problem in one of the scenes?????? And that in the most hilarious twist of fate Airplane then unyeets Mobei-Jun not twenty minutes later?????
It's one thing to see people joke about sqq and lbh being unable to communicate but it's on a league of its own when you have to read HUNDREDS OF PAGES of sqq's inner monologue be like 'that's my darling boy. my baby. my sugar plum pumpy umpkin you're my sweetie pie' but on the outside he says "get lost binghe" and somehow deems that an effective expression of his affection that lbh will surely understand. 'Why is lbh whining and crying and tugging at my sleeve like a plaintive wife, why is he so angry?' Sqq asks, the entire circus, as lbh is about to fling himself off a cliff for attention--
In short, MXTX is the queer comedian of our generation and nobody appreciates her enough
#svsss#bingqiu#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#mxtx what must it be like to carry the gays on your shoulders like this#she ran so that the rest of us could walk oh my actual god#i just can't get over how much of the novels are sqq panicking because he needs to 'do right' by lbh#aka make lbh the absolute lunatic from the original#so its just this uproarious back and forth between a guy trying to make a bbg desperate for his love into a human weapon#AND make himself disappear before that weapon is turned on him (also probably the self-hatred talking)#amazing showstopping spectacular **slaps sqq's back** you can fit so many repressed internalizations of toxic masculinity in this mf#legit as i read these volumes i just kept thinking of that meme like 'congrats sqq buddy that's the worst anyone's ever done it' (joke)#not that lbh is any better but in fairness the lad is going through a lot too so i spare him too harsh a judgement#also sincerely i dont think i was prepared for just how stupid how crazy lbh goes for sqq. it was. MAGNIFICENT#I was like 'surely he isn't that dramatic' and then by god everyone. by god I started reading and went#'jesus christ that's a nuclear missile shaped little meow meow and that's HILARIOUS'#i also just can't get over sqq insisting 'IM NOT GAY. I DONT GAY. IM THE STRAIGHTEST STRAIGHT!!!!'#while. literally. saying full stop to lbh of like 'wym i smile more genuinely at everyone else they're just scarecrows around me'#sqq--the man who couldn't bear to see lbh suffering as a young boy.#who was so affected he was crying in his sleep and calling out lbh's name over and over#ON WHAT LEVEL IS THAT HETEROSEXUAL SQQ. THE JIG IS UP#literally EVERYONE around sqq being like 'congrats on being the last to know' about his love for lbh#and can we talk about sqq being like 'we used to communicate so seamlessly that we had no need for words. there was no greater joy for me.'#and highlighting that though gongyi xiao was a similar and talented young lad he fell decidedly short because he did not have above quality#and then sqq still being in denial; i swear i LOVE the little hints mxtx drops i feel like the happiest mouse scampering around for crumbs#additionally a question: how does anyone take liu qingge seriously#when he's displeased he just yells 'HEY' and does nothing about it (most times)#that is the most boomer dad energy i think i've ever seen#also :(((((((( all the jokes about tianlang-jun (though accurate) were so deceptive my heart was broken at the end of vol.3
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all-my-ocs-are-evil · 3 months
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i feel like i've lost the ability to draw so here are some doodles/ 1st draft designs I made for some of the monster high girlies bc I've still got the urge to draw despite that. they all need some work but I feel like I've gotten to a good starting point.
ive got quite a few ideas for the rest but we'll see if I ever get to them lol
beware the tags! (i never shut up)
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dukeofthomas · 2 months
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Do you see my vision
#my dc posting#my art#dc#jason todd#red hood#transfem jason todd#transwoman jason todd#trans fem jason todd#trans woman jason todd#its always so weird when uve made a character trans. and then u gotta use their canon name for tagging#i feel like im deadnaming her even tho i havent come up w a name yet#the lazarus pit gives spontaneous transition. even if u havent realized ur trans yet#i feel like itd be hard to become a respected n feared n succesful crime lord if she presented as female. because of the 'sogony.#so she can have a lil perry the platypus style shit goin on w a voice modifier in the helmet#also coming back as a woman would make batman less likely to connect her w his dead 'son'. so.#idk. i dont actually have a fully formed au or timeline in mind i just find it easier to draw women#its more of a psychological thing where if im in the headspace of 'this is a woman' it becomes just easier to draw the body#🤷 it is how it is ig#censored bc tumblr's a bitch n really it doesnt matter#i had a post w like 1 note that was literally just 'i dont think [insert name] is a good name for a transfem version of [insert character]'#and it got labelled Mature by tumblr so i figured might as well not even try n be Modest and shit w the way tumblr's fuckin it up rn#anyway shoutout to Daughter of Dragons by thispatternismine for the inspiration#...how does all that hair fit comfortably inside the helmet?#ah. hmm. well that is. it sure is a question! that i will not be answering.#jason todd fanart#dc fanart
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super disorganized sketch page because i do what i want
#my art#not sure if i wanna tag these... hrm#i wonder if alt text shows up in search results.... shudders#well anyway. i wanna ramble about these!!#for willy mafton: i've been working on designing more of the human cast. mainly all the big name important ones#it's been a slow process + a little challenging but i like getting the chance to practice drawing faces! :]#in regards to His design specifically.. it's very much based off of his movie apperance#but with a reference to that Classic sprite thrown in#bc i thought making him a little cartoony and inhuman would fit him :] but idk im not an expert on his character or anything#about the rabbit lady: i forgot how i had that idea initially but it ended up looking so fucking cool tbh#im always a fan of making her design less of a feminine eye candy type of design and more of a Spooky Murderer type >:3c#it also gave me the idea to try making some similar designs for the glams...#but if i do that im not gonna be giving them that vintage rubber mask look... since they're meant to be super flashy and high tech looking#so i was thinking they could have faces with more of a silicone texture.. and that have a style based more off of their in game art work :]#so they'd be like giant dolls with weird moving faces rather than having a vintage animatronic look#also that van in the bottom middle is 100% a homage to a specific user i wont be mentioning but iykyk HFJZJFJF#ANYWAY the 🌞🌜 stuff: dont be weird about it please HFJZJG#im aware that these tags are very easy to ignore but like. genuinely pls dont be weird about them#dont romanticize it. its not meant to be ''y/ndere'' or anything like that#its actually a bit personal to me so like... interpret it as you like but be aware its not meant to be a happy or positive thing#anyway i think thats all i have to say... i've been trying to branch out a tiny bit regarding the things i draw#it's always nice to challenge yourself even if its tough... especially if its tough!!#i mainly draw just for my own sake but i hope ppl see something they like here#these tags got so fucking long oops... i'll stop now JFKZJFKSJGKSJG
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girluimfailing · 10 months
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Some Tim stans r fucking crazy wtf
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hashileio · 1 year
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papy hang in there;;;
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ackee · 4 months
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how it feels posting my game's character designs in otome dev servers knowing nobody give af
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