#just making sure i dont fit in
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Does anyone know the name of the mental disorder that would make a grown ass mostly heterosexual man spend an ungodly amount of money amassing a collection of 27 photobooks & pamphlets and several boxes of merch for some Japanese boy band that no one in the US has ever heard of and also formed a decade before my birth and disbanded before I graduated high school? Pray for me in the hopes I'll get better soon ❤️
#this goes far beyond autism it's something sinister#i felt like i met the criteria for a full blown manic episode the first time i got addicted to buyee auctions#i would order bricks and i amassed a few duplicates and also got a brick with random shit from other johnnys groups#but i literally don't listen to any other idol group. eventually i sent most of that shit i don't want to other people for free#but if i said how much money i actually spent i think y'all would have my head i literally make poverty wages okay I'm juet sick in the head#my uncle came over for the first time in years the other day and saw my uchiwas and was like 'i like your kpop stuff'#well thanks i guess but it is not ❤️#liking kpop is too normal.. which feels ironic to say but it literally is average normal mostly socially acceptable behavior for a gen z kid#just making sure i dont fit in
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desperately need to do a presentation on why the Twelfth Doctors journey perfectly represents the transfem experience
their previous eleventh incarnation being suave and hypersexual (i know moffat is mostly to blame but!) is reminiscent of attempts to fit into heteronormative ideals of masculinity. whilst it is not completely insincere, there are obvious signs this does not fit you as a person, it is acted out of desperate need to being seen. as Vastra put it, eleven wore that face, and subsequently that form of masculinity, to be accepted. on becoming twelve, realising even an "idealised" masculinity does not inherently serve them, they retreated into themselves as a person for self-reflection and trying to understand why they feel so detached from who they are.
the "am i a good man" arc mirrors being closeted and having to present as something not inherently tied to your sense of self, but still wanting to be the best of your perceived gender as any failure could leave you spiralling into self-doubt about simply being like any other "man". you ignore your gender dysphoria/questioning by trying to claim a moralistic view of gendered expression. made even more clear by Twelve rejecting Clara's heroic view of them, establishing that even though they have made efforts to be a "good man", that is just a placeholder for their loss of identity.
Missy appearing as she does, who as a character serves as a parallel to The Doctor on what they could become, and her eventual arc in trying to become good is symbolic of the fear around transition regret that internalised transphobia can create when you are closeted. Missy never gives importance to their fem existence other than nonchalant jokes, rather showing a more free and expressive personality devoid of any frustration. this immediately dismisses the transphobic assumption that trans people are only focused on their gender. also, Missy representing trans femininity is inherently tied to chaos and upsetting the status quo, she is the embodiment of what society considers accepting your womanhood as someone previously labelled masculine. what many others, and The Doctor themselves, saw as a need for attention and senseless disruption is Missy not needing to serve a false version of who they are, that they can now focus on becoming whoever they want to be now without losing energy to performing a gender that society has imposed on you. Missy could never have made the decision to stand with The Doctor if she had not given importance to her own queerness.
it wasn't coincidence with meeting Bill, she was the perfect foil for The Doctor to finally let go of their anxious attachment to masculinity. i would even argue for the majority of s10, The Doctor is largely ambiguous in their gender identity and does not fit into any construction of masculinity or femininity. whilst they still present as something socially labelled as masculine, they do not internalise that gender expression. they are uncaring about and not needing the validity that comes with heteronormativity, and thus is free to finally accept the decision they have to make. as Bill says, it is so hard to let go of The Doctor, and that rings true for twelve themselves. but they begin to realise The Doctor can be anyone. yes, they are tired, it would be so easy to simply rest and not give value to who you can become. but choosing to let go of everything you once were to survive is better than oblivion. it is better to let go, to choose another lifetime where the only person that dies is your falsity, to finally get it right and choose kindness. for yourself and for those who you love. they regenerate, not just into another person, but into someone who (if only tv scripts...) can now move forward.
#can you tell the only thoughts i have are of twelve?#this is why im kind of disappointed with the thirteenth doctors arc#like sure they're allowed dimensions as a character and to have dark moments#but there was a chance to show the nuances with relearning how to live and accept joy for yourself#as someone who has grieved and suffered loss and is detached#i know these themes arent just about transhood but dont you think they fit so beautifully?#this makes me want to bounce off the walls#doctor who#dw#twelfth doctor#peter capaldi#12th doctor#thirteenth doctor#jodie whittaker#13th doctor#long post
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Uhm uh uh...I have no excuse for this 😔 PPG self insert who is secretly an alien! I imagine her intro episode would have her having a little romance with the professor when he comes into a bookstore she works at/owns and the girls being (rightfully, given the prof's dating history) suspicious of her. Wacky capers ensue where they try to prove that she's up to no good, only to find that she genuinely is just chilling and wants to live a normal life on earth!
Well, normal as she can, now that she knows this family! I think she'd fit right in 😉
Taglist♡: @crushes-georg @changeling-selfship @me-myself-and-my-fos @tiny-cloud-of-flowers @sunstar-of-the-north @dearly-beeloved @adoredbyalatus @squips-ship @cherry-bomb-ships @miutonium
#artfarts#self insert#self ship#self shipping community#self insert community#oc x canon#self insert x canon#the powerpuff girls#professor utonium#crush: 🔬#ngl im not exactly sure why i chose alien i just thought itd be cute and aliens were on my mind#and i was remembering a little song that i learned in elementary school called interplanet janet :3#and i was talking to asuka about it and tbhhh#ok listen#being an alien as an allegory for my autism is SUPER fitting#and tbh the professors pretty dang autistic himself 😂😂#i think being able to connect and relate to someone based on the ways they DONT fit in would be rly sweet 👉👈#idk if its bad representation to have the reveal be that shes an alien but idc#this is my self insert and IM HAVING FUN#but them bonding over misreading social cues and the urge to infodump and being able to listen to each other!!#and all the little quirks she'd have would be ones i have too 😂😂#like sometimes mixing up parts of words so they come out reversed#and lots of other stuff waaah#im hungy i gotta make dinner soon#but this is the result of watching nothing but ppg for like 3 days 😂😂😂
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having been in the fandom for awhile, one interesting shift I remember seeing was around when BoO came out and people realized solangelo was implied to be a future thing, people were kind of scrambling to remember literally anything about Will cause of how minor of a character he had been up until that point.
And one of the things they were looking at with Will was that previously to BoO, people thought Will was a lot older. Because he was a cabin counselor (and generally how he was usually interacting with characters like Percy, Annabeth, and Clarisse - all 16+ish, or Leo - 15/16), most people assumed he was closer to 16 at least, if not actually older than Percy. It wasn't uncommon to see HoO!Will being 17 or so (this is also why there's a decent amount of hcs of him being at CHB pre-BoTL despite not existing until TLO). After BoO happened, it wasn't uncommon to see Solangelo content with a significantly older Will.
Like, it has always been implied in the series that Will is on the younger side (since Michael Yew joined CHB in SoM and Will is younger than him/would have joined BoTL at the earliest) and it's just the entire Apollo cabin keeling over in TLO that made Will counselor. But I just think it's interesting to remember that for awhile Will was not confirmed to be 13 in HoO/14 in TOA when solangelo first became a thing/people started paying attention to Will, and the fandom very widely thought he was older.
#pjo#riordanverse#will solace#ahh fandom history#i havent heard people reference this time in the fandom in awhile and im p sure most current fans dont know it was ever a thing#so surprise! there was a time when people didnt know how old Will was#also the post-HoO pre-TOA solangelo days were a very curious time#the majority of Will Solace fanon comes from that and we actually see some of that fanon being retconned into being canon in TOA/TSATS#which is. odd. because that fanon was based on Will having next to zero character so everybody was just blatantly making stuff up#a lot of which didnt fit with the canon that did exist for him because why would it? nobody expected to really see much of him again#the most we knew was the norse series was coming out soon and as far as we knew there wouldnt be a third main series#let alone did we think a gay ship was gonna be explicitly canonized in said main series#that immediate post-HoO era tbh was probably the height of fanon content in the fandom
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5% of a color headcanon.... two versions since b&w emphasizes the dagger more i think but i still like the warm tones ASFSADA
i am not biased towards rainbow daggers whatsoever i promise (lie)
((also friend is streaming now and im there too!! bit more info linked here, its rated mature tho))
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#i think tumblr is chewing on this ah well#its more of a weapon color headcanon than anything else tbh SAFASDA#but its very funny in my mind to refer to this as#insert percent amount of color headcanon here ASDASFA#i do not have many color headcanons tbh???#overall i would say i have like 1.15(ish) color headcanons that are solid in my brain across the cast???#the rainbow dagger has been in my minds eye for a long time#um SPOILERISH talk ahead in tag talk so be warned#i am serious!! turn back now if u dont want SPOILERS!!!#can u imagine if siffrins parents had lovingly crafted that white cloak and helped him pick out the pure black fit when younger#so they could be fashionably black and white like if things were in color or something#but then the first thing siffrin picks out on their own terms is literally the most colorful thing imaginable for the dagger#i do not know if that makes much sense but yeah#it is fun in my minds eye ASDAFA#actually is it ever mentioned where siffrin got the dagger??#was it also passed down????#ik the cloak was for sure from his family#and the pure black fit underneath is up in the air i think#tho if it was a first pass pick from parents#and he continued to pick it again and again after they got older subconsciously or not might be fun to think about#also do not mind the art style shift it might happen again LMAO#probably sparingly tho? who knows!!!#should i link stream in this post??? i dont know???#i feel a lil bad if it isnt related?????#oh well im doing it anyway because friendship :]#honestly did not think i would also have anything to post today but uh oops sorta just happened and it lined up so ASFASDA#anyway tag talk over stream time WOOO and i think i hit tag limit LMAO
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Do you see my vision
#my dc posting#my art#dc#jason todd#red hood#transfem jason todd#transwoman jason todd#trans fem jason todd#trans woman jason todd#its always so weird when uve made a character trans. and then u gotta use their canon name for tagging#i feel like im deadnaming her even tho i havent come up w a name yet#the lazarus pit gives spontaneous transition. even if u havent realized ur trans yet#i feel like itd be hard to become a respected n feared n succesful crime lord if she presented as female. because of the 'sogony.#so she can have a lil perry the platypus style shit goin on w a voice modifier in the helmet#also coming back as a woman would make batman less likely to connect her w his dead 'son'. so.#idk. i dont actually have a fully formed au or timeline in mind i just find it easier to draw women#its more of a psychological thing where if im in the headspace of 'this is a woman' it becomes just easier to draw the body#🤷 it is how it is ig#censored bc tumblr's a bitch n really it doesnt matter#i had a post w like 1 note that was literally just 'i dont think [insert name] is a good name for a transfem version of [insert character]'#and it got labelled Mature by tumblr so i figured might as well not even try n be Modest and shit w the way tumblr's fuckin it up rn#anyway shoutout to Daughter of Dragons by thispatternismine for the inspiration#...how does all that hair fit comfortably inside the helmet?#ah. hmm. well that is. it sure is a question! that i will not be answering.#jason todd fanart#dc fanart
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after failing miserably the first go around, (crochet) Home's walls are complete! we're less than halfway there but hey! The Walls!
#wally. doesnt quite fit... but thats okay!#not all homes are meant to be entered i think#ok that top photo is. At An Angle.#ALL OF THE WALLS ARE SYMMETRICAL I SWEAR!!#i kept careful track as you can see on that sticky note!#counted the normal rows AND the blo rows!#FUCK I FORGOT TO TAKE A PICTURE OF THE ~freshly blocked~ FLOOR#photos from the bog#ok i got the walls (majority of it anyway) and the floor done#whats left is the wall Triangles + roof + detail#OH! and i need to get some felt#just a lil somethn to glue to the interior to make sure it remains Sturdy#this will be a box after all! fully functional and Delightful to have on my shelf!#what will i put in this small home. fuck if i know but we'll find out eventually!#maybe she'll hold my chapstick collection...#OH! OR MY STICKERS! the ones that dont have a Surface yet!#oh thats perfect :]c home can keep my unused stickers safe for me :]c
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...who else could I love but you, my brave little spark...?
auraugust 2024 - myth truth
#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#ff14#final fantasy 14#au ra#wol#hydaelyn#auraugust2024#auraugust#endwalker spoilers#wol goes by they/them#⭐ mine#this one took me forever to think of#cause i was gonna do the primal/eikon thing that was popular a while ago#but man i could not think of a eikon that fit ito very well#but then i thought...#hydaelyn and ito truly are one and the same aren't they#ito found meaning in their life after being adrift for so long by finding the beauty in the world and in its people#and was even willing to live for the star#a task thought impossible before just to make sure it was always safe and they could see more#while hydaelyn sundered the star destroying everything she knew to watch over man for her love could do no less#i dont know#i just think their parallels and foils are just really good man makes me cry
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Thinking about the KaeyaJeanDiluc friendship where they grew up together and they were CLOSE & sure maybe Jean felt like Diluc & Kaeya were closer since they were brothers & sure maybe Kaeya felt like he had to keep secrets from the two of them bc they would never understand but they were like. A trio! A team!
& then Diluc’s 18th birthday comes around and everything goes to shit and Diluc LEAVES so they’re no longer KaeyaJeanDiluc but just Kaeya & Jean & in some ways Kaeya and Jean get closer because of it but there’s also a pronounced DISTANCE where Jean doesn’t know how to reach Kaeya anymore & Kaeya is even more determined not to tell Jean anything & they both lose themselves in their duties to Mondstadt while also missing Diluc and ALSO, despite everything, offering each other unconditional support
& then Diluc comes BACK & in addition to Kaeya & Jean there’s the shaky reestablishment of Jean & Diluc and Diluc & Kaeya but it’s not THE SAME. they’re no longer KaeyaJeanDiluc; Jean & Kaeya are knights and Diluc will never be a knight again & they all changed while Diluc was away & none of them know how to talk to each other anymore AND YET there’s still an undercurrent of trust!! Not fully, especially between Kaeya & Diluc, but Diluc still calls on Jean during the archon quest, trusting that she will keep their secrets even though as the acting grandmaster she should probably not. Jean says in her about Diluc voiceline that she understands why Diluc hates the knights & is working hard to make them an organization he can trust again. Kaeya covers for Diluc’s darknight hero escapades & fondly reminisces about their childhood in front of him. Diluc invited Kaeya to dinner at the winery & (afaik) never told anyone about Kaeya’s origins. Kaeya tells the traveler that they need to give Jean their full support and planned a birthday party for her. Jean left Kaeya in charge of Mondstadt when she went to the golden apple archipelago! On some level they recognize that their goals still align!! There’s still trust and love there but there’s also this gap between them that none of them know how to cross and I just!!!
#kaeya#kaeya alberich#diluc#diluc ragnvindr#jean#jean gunnhildr#genshin impact#YOU CAN TRY TO REASSEMBLE THE PIECES BUT THEY WILL NEVER FIT THE SAME WAY. AND MAYBE THEY SHOULDNT.#I DONT KNOW IF THIS MAKES SENSE AT ALL I’M JUST GOING INSANE THINKING ABOUT THEM#GRIPPING THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE. HEY DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT KAEYA JEAN AND DILUC BC I SURE DO.#also not blaming diluc for the leaving btw I feel like it was necessary for him#it’s just emphasized bc of how it contributed to the change in their dynamic#I can’t always put it into words right but I have a lot of thoughts about these three.#my brain is going GSVDKDBCJHDEJDHSBDVDHWBDNHSJSBSJDGSHSBSHSB rn#also also in the ‘duties to Mond’ bit I’m also not downplaying kaeyas indecision abt choosing mondstadt/Khaenri’ah#I don’t think he’s chosen & I think he has genuine love for but also feels indebted to both places#I fully reject the ‘oh kaeyas chosen Mond fuck Khaenri’ah’ takes i hate them it’s so much more complicated than that!!#he can care about both places!!!#anyways just wanted to clear that up since I didn’t really elaborate & don’t want it to be taken like that
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i feel like i've lost the ability to draw so here are some doodles/ 1st draft designs I made for some of the monster high girlies bc I've still got the urge to draw despite that. they all need some work but I feel like I've gotten to a good starting point.
ive got quite a few ideas for the rest but we'll see if I ever get to them lol
beware the tags! (i never shut up)
#digital art#doodles#artists on tumblr#fanart#fashion#monster high#ghoulia yelps#draculaura#lagoona blue#frankie stein#idk how but ghoulia's glasses are prescription bc I say so#my fav thing to do when ive got art block is to play dress up w characters lol#ironically enough tho#it's hard for me to design outfits for other people bc I just start dressing them how I would if I were doing a closet cosplay of them lol#the pinterest boards ive got for not just the main ghouls#but some of the side charas as well are so full that I had to do something with them eventually#lagoona's fit needs the most work (im bad at athleisure) but she's the most fun to draw XD#i really wanted to lean more into beach gyaru for her but trying to make it work w her usual athleisure style is hard T-T#frankie needs work the second most#her shoes are basically ripped from pinterest XD#draculaura is fun until i have to colour her#i can already tell shes gonna go through a many colour variations if I continue#also dont think about the heights too much bc I sure as hell didnt
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super disorganized sketch page because i do what i want
#my art#not sure if i wanna tag these... hrm#i wonder if alt text shows up in search results.... shudders#well anyway. i wanna ramble about these!!#for willy mafton: i've been working on designing more of the human cast. mainly all the big name important ones#it's been a slow process + a little challenging but i like getting the chance to practice drawing faces! :]#in regards to His design specifically.. it's very much based off of his movie apperance#but with a reference to that Classic sprite thrown in#bc i thought making him a little cartoony and inhuman would fit him :] but idk im not an expert on his character or anything#about the rabbit lady: i forgot how i had that idea initially but it ended up looking so fucking cool tbh#im always a fan of making her design less of a feminine eye candy type of design and more of a Spooky Murderer type >:3c#it also gave me the idea to try making some similar designs for the glams...#but if i do that im not gonna be giving them that vintage rubber mask look... since they're meant to be super flashy and high tech looking#so i was thinking they could have faces with more of a silicone texture.. and that have a style based more off of their in game art work :]#so they'd be like giant dolls with weird moving faces rather than having a vintage animatronic look#also that van in the bottom middle is 100% a homage to a specific user i wont be mentioning but iykyk HFJZJFJF#ANYWAY the 🌞🌜 stuff: dont be weird about it please HFJZJG#im aware that these tags are very easy to ignore but like. genuinely pls dont be weird about them#dont romanticize it. its not meant to be ''y/ndere'' or anything like that#its actually a bit personal to me so like... interpret it as you like but be aware its not meant to be a happy or positive thing#anyway i think thats all i have to say... i've been trying to branch out a tiny bit regarding the things i draw#it's always nice to challenge yourself even if its tough... especially if its tough!!#i mainly draw just for my own sake but i hope ppl see something they like here#these tags got so fucking long oops... i'll stop now JFKZJFKSJGKSJG
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Some Tim stans r fucking crazy wtf
#girl... r u sure YOURE not the onw having a hissy fit?#attacking someone just because you think your character is superior#WHITE character superior to 2 poc characters if i may#like no thx weirdo#anti tim drake#damian wayne#cassandra cain#twitter is crazyy#LOL im like a snitch#but wtf is this#the original poster also clarified this isnt a dig at damian just that cass makes more sense as the next batman#and most damian fans agree too#but this tim drake fan came and started yelling abt how tim better than both#💀💀#and then a dig at batman damian outta nowhere even tho the og tweet clearly said they dont like damian batman#DID WE ALL JUST COLLECTIVELY FORGET ABT GUN BATMAN TIM#SAVIOR TIM?#R YALL CRAZY?..
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it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#hod#hod lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#I GUESS i almost forgot i drew her box form#lobcorp spoilers#and michelle actually. ..#both very tiny. itty bitty. microscopic#other sephirah there too as normal. i cant have her alone. and Angelina as well on the top patting her#i have a hard time fully capturing her for some reason. in my mind. maybe its because is the disconnected period!!! mentally#she genuinely wishes to care and be kind yet theres a dissonance with what she does..? or how it ends up being taken or what she does to en#up bringing those actions into reality. she can be forceful? wanting to have employees attend therapy sessions and meetings for suppression#tactics. which i think is also something the safety team is incharge of iirc. so that means shes doing way more that what she needs to on#her job as a sephirah. just for the sake of employees#she really does care as shes one of the only to Directly attempt to change their circumstances and quality of life and health#sure chesed doesnt punish employees when they dont do their work assigned or stress them out with work#but he doesnt actively push to attempt to make changes to aid employees besides the research perks which is to the manager#yesod IS right next to her and does also genuinely care but when it comes to employees hes distant at best when it comes to them and the#way he tries to protect them is by enforcing rules but he doesnt really create or attempt to help them like hod does#yesod is sort of a passive? way of doing it. yes he doesn make a push to enforce said rules but he doesnt make new ones. just follows what#is already there in place. hod tries to make new ways and not just for the safety of people like how yesod's has them physically fine and#not letting them over a certain threshold of mental corruption but she tries to have a program to Directly Address such a thing#its born out of care but the genuine worry of being a good person and her naivety ends up having it do more harm than good#sure there may be some employees that actually like and find it useful but so many are just accepting to their fate of Dying to where#her care seems pointless. shes a sephirah and to them a literal metal box why would they go ahead and feel bad for what an 'ai' is feeling#as she is interrupting their free time in the company#which is rude. and shit. iirc the counseling is compulsory but people go because shes a sephirah and their superior. the thought was there#but again it comes off wrong and ends up not working because shes their superior in the end#EEK!!! yeah... hod. the hod. there is WAY more but i can't fit it all here and i already typed enough
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papy hang in there;;;
#hashiart#undertale#undertale art#papyrus#flowey#undertale papyrus#undertale flowey#idk i just like these two together in this dynamic where papyrus tries to rehabilitate the rabid chihuahua that flowey is#do yall think the cone of shame could fit flowey?? cause like im pretty sure they make them small enough.....#i dont have the self control to schedule posts to be at the time people are active so its all going to be dumped as i finish LMAO
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the preview made me want to draw moonpaw!! and her twin of course. :3
also wanted to explore both the individual designs esp since the twin gets her own
#my art#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#warrior cats#warriors#moonpaw#wc changing skies#changing skies#warriors cs#moonpaw cs#moonpaw warriors#moonpaw warrior cats#shouldve drawn her more lanky teen but this is design practice and doodling /lh#yes this is my nightsun moon design#ik nightsun wouldnt pressure her/expect her to be a med cat but ....#im sure it could easily be rewritten to other family members or even the clan as a whole#buuuut anyways#i used glow as a placeholder only bc i am not calling her paw /lh so i just chose a suffix and went for it until she gets her own name or#if they both want the same name i'll figure it out From There#also i figured wrt nightsun children it fits#shine golden glow moon#also yes i forgot to make the ear tufts crescents. but its fine#also i would like to clarify: TO ME it looks like more of a haunting sitch so thats how i portrayed it#like how ghosts attach to people . or like how ashfur managed to reach out to shadowsight#ofc i dont think glow is in the df like ashfur was LMFAO but hopefully yall know what im getting at 😭#words are not my forte this is why im not a youtuber 🙏#also i think moons sibling would age with her. although i love the jokes ab a baby following her around 10/10#ALSO I DONT THINK THE TWIN IS LIKE EVIL!!!!!! ik the blurb said sinister but even still like. i hope yall know im not demonizing a baby LOL#i am also not demonizing ppl who r chimeras/absorbed their twin/etc; and yes i am cautious bc erins. ily all. any probz just shoot an ask
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