#just losing both of them so fast and give me no time to recover

[sheppardsmckay]

Rewatching Stargate Atlantis be like

[lockheed-martin-unofficial]

Buckle up, folks, and prepare yourself for spoilers!

Because we’re going to be analyzing this scene today. And I’m going to explain why Starscream could’ve won.

After D-16’s initial attack, Starscream falls back to recover, and quickly counters with some skilled aerial maneuvers. Here’s a post so you can appreciate it better. Starscream is taking full advantage of his flight ability here. He’s leading the high guard, of course he’s going to be good at flying.

Side note: we don’t know if Starscream is the official leader of the high guard, do we? Maybe he just claimed leadership after they went into exile. It would be fun to think about.

As an extra note: Starscream is using his thrusters to carry both of them, holding D-16 up by the neck.

Extra extra note: D-16 kicks Starscream between the legs.

Now look at this. Here’s when D-16 transforms his foot to kick starscream off.

It all happens in a split second, but I tried my best to get screenshots.

Do you get what I’m trying to show?

Starscream angles his body forward, with the thrusters still on, before D-16 makes contact with him. He sees the kick coming, and he moves to counter it. When he realises he’s not fast enough to counter, he lets go of right D-16 before the impact in order to make sure he’s flung backwards instead of being injured. If he was still holding on, the damage would’ve been far more severe.

Sure, I find it a little surprising that a guy who can fly would fall in his butt, but I think I can explain it away. The thrusters are turned off when he’s kicked, but they return while he’s flying away. I think that may have been accidental. Maybe he intended to right himself midair and fly away but was unsuccessful, maybe he didn’t mean to activate them.

Either way, it contributes to him landing rougher than he would’ve intended. While I’m here, I want to point out D-16’s little swing off the wall to land next to Starscream. Very graceful.

Right before and right after getting punched in the face. There is momentary surprise, but no fear. He doesn’t flinch, he doesn’t take time to recover. One second of scowling, and then “HIT ME!” He doesn’t even need to catch his breath.

Slowing the scene you can see the punches have Starscream’s neck bent at an over 90 degree angle. Not only does he not react to the pain at all, but he also KEEPS ENCOURAGING HIS OPPONENT.

His body language and behavior is confident while he’s being punched. Only when D-16 turns his attention to the crowd does Starscream attempt to free himself.

He’s intentionally antagonizing his opponent, making D-16 drop his guard and focus on giving the crowd a show, he takes the punches like they’re nothing and only tries to break free when D-16 looks away.

Focus on Starscream’s hands here. D-16 loses his focus, Starscream is very clearly trying to pry him off.

And here, just a few seconds later. First his hand is just… sitting there, not making any attempt to pry off the guy squeezing his throat (presumably very painful) and instead continuing to yell (presumably very painful). And then he Grabs and Pulls Him Closer. This isn’t the body language of a person who’s afraid, Starscream was biding his time and waiting for the opportunity to catch D-16 off guard, use a sudden moment of distraction to his advantage.

We only see fear from him at the very end. Only when he sees the arm cannon which is something nobody expected. Not even D-16 himself. From Starscream’s perspective he was waiting for the perfect moment to strike, to overpower an enemy who is stronger but less skilled and experienced than him, all the while giving the troops a good show. And then the guy pulls out THAT THING to his face.

You can see the moment he knew he fucked up. There’s nothing he can do after that except ask for mercy.

It’s my personal belief that had the battle lasted longer, and had D-16 not discovered his Murder Arm, Starscream would’ve won.

And although I’m not disappointed in this outcome, I would’ve also loved if D-16 had the upper hand physically but still got defeated due to Starscream’s cunning and experience. We would’ve seen Starscream show his talent, and seen that D-16 still has a long way to go.

[olivianott]

BRAIN CHEMISTRY

Tell me I’m not the only one happily not recovered from the deatheatertok (yes that’s why I’ve been MIA😬) and the Lorenzo Zurzolo gifs from the other day? 😭 I could not help myself with this one.

READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION, OCTOBER CAME EARLY TO ME.

ꕤ 1.6k words 

ꕤ deatheater!Theo Nott x fem!reader

ꕤ warnings: toxic ex, deatheater Theodore, pure smut, unprotected sex, explicit content, not for minors, 18+

ꕤ all characters are adults

You knew you were in trouble. That you fucked up. You somehow found yourself at a party in an unknown manor. You and your friend got talking with some people at a pub and now you are surrounded by glimmering Death Eater masks. Everyone is acting as if they are just having fun at a party. But you see their eyes following the two of you everywhere. 

You already know what is going on at these parties. You heard stories, awful stories, from him. You wonder if he is in attendance. No. Stop thinking about him, he didn’t want you anymore. He is one of them after all. 

You try to think of a way out for you and your friend. Get drinks, but don’t drink them, discreetly inch towards the entrance while smiling and acting like you’re having the time of your life, getting through the door and the few steps over the anti-apparition wards and poof, you’re both safe. 

That was the plan. Everything went smoothly, until just before getting through the door, your path is crossed by a tall Death Eater with an overly decorated mask. “Hello, beautiful.” He says while you watch your friend successfully execute the plan and disappear with a crack. 

You turn around and try to escape the lewd gaze of the big Death Eater, but there is another one in your path and you realize you are surrounded. Fuck. This is not good. No, don’t panic, don’t panic.

You panic.

Your vision starts to blur and you can’t seem to think straight. Heart in your throat, the ground becomes unsteady. Another mask enters your field of vision, too close to your face. This mask looks elegant, not overly decorated, but with artistic lines strategically curved around the planes of the artificial face. He grabs you by the upper hand and starts to drag you away from the crowd that formed around you, barking something to the other Death Eaters. You try to fight him off but it’s not working, his grip tightens and when you don’t stop, he loses patience with you and puts his wand under your chin. It doesn’t hurt but the threat makes you tremble in fear.

The man leans down next to your ear and hisses: “STOP IT.” The voice is so hard and threatening but at the same time familiar. 

You momentarily freeze and that gives him time to drag you through the hall and into a bedroom. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

He closes the door after you and you finally have time to compose yourself, because he goes to the other side of the room, leaving you alone. While he locks the room with his wand, your mind clears slowly. You suddenly realize why the voice is so familiar. 

Theodore Nott. 

You’ve never seen him in his Death Eater robes and a mask before, but now you can’t stop looking at him. 

Theodore turns around, throws his mask on the bed, and stalks to you so fast, you actually step back in fear until your back is against the door. “Why the fuck are you here?!” He spits in your face, his eyes are feral and full of anger but also fear. 

“It was an accident, my friend thought it would be a good idea to-“ 

“To what? To enter a devil’s lair full of fucking Death Eaters that enjoy killing too much and don’t ask for permission to do anything? Don’t you fucking know what’s going on at these gatherings? Fucking hell!” He is talking quietly but with so much anger, you can actually feel his magic vibrating between you. 

“What’s it to you? You’re one of them now, you look like you’re right at home at this vile party, huh?” 

“Do you really think I like it? That I wanted this? Do you even know where you are?”

“In some nasty pureblood’s manor?”

“Yes. Welcome to the Nott manor.” His sarcastic smile falls off his face as he looks down and backs off of you, finally letting you breathe air. 

Oh. Nott manor. It’s his home. 

“Are you actually hosting this party?”

“Well, as I said, those people don’t ask permission for anything, so here we are. But now you are here and you made this night even more difficult for me. They have set their eyes on you now and they are hungry, in more ways than one. The Death Eaters need their food, and they like to play with it before eating.” 

He says this so matter of factly it takes a while for your mind to catch the whole truth of what you’ve casually walked into tonight. 

“You’re a Death Eater too now.”

“Exactly.” He smirks. 

You’ve missed him so much. His scent brings back memories, and you feel your body heat up despite his arrogant behavior and attempts to scare you off.

“What- what are you going to do to me?” You say breathlessly. Without your permission, your mind shows you pictures of you and him from the past, the little bit of fear just heightening your excitement. 

“Oh please, you know I’m not like-“ he stops himself mid-sentence and focuses his glare on your throat, pulsing with blood rushing through you, your red cheeks, your trembling hands, the rise and fall of your chest. 

“Now I remember.” His mouth curves in this arrogant smirk and his eyes look mischievous at the same time as dangerous. 

“You like danger… you like being scared, amore? Does it turn you on? Tonight you bit more than you could chew though, princessa. And now…. You are trapped in here. With me.” 

You can’t respond to him, but your body does. Your breathing gets more labored and you can’t help your gaze falling to his lips. 

His hand starts roaming down your body while again hovering over you, leaning against the door, the height difference between you more obvious than ever. 

“I- uhh…-“ you are unable to say more. But you close the distance between you and crash your lips against his. 

Theodore groans loudly, takes both your hands in his, and slams them against the door above your head. 

“Oh princessa, you don’t know what you just started, do you?” His hard kisses resume and your mind is filled up with sensations. 

The feel of his body against yours, the hardness of the door digging into your back, his teeth biting your lips, dragging against your throat, his lips sucking on your pulse point. 

Your eyes are closed, but you feel your feet leave the ground as Theodore picks you up and sends you flying on the bed. While crawling over you on the bed, he picks up his mask and puts it on his face. 

Fuuuuck. 

You can barely see his eyes staring down at you from behind the mask, in between the short strands of hair falling down around it. 

The world is a blur now, clothes start flying off of you, his hands tracing your curves. Suddenly he loses patience and flips you over, on your hands and knees on the bed. With his hand under your chin, he makes you look up. A mirror. Your moan is embarrassingly loud. The vision of him in his mask behind you, admiring you through the mirror, hand grabbing your throat… you’ve never seen anything hotter. With his other hand he traces your wetness and groans into your ear: “So ready for me princessa, you really do get turned on with fear and danger. How nasty of you. Was this your plan all along? To get fucked by a Death Eater?”

You can only manage to shake your head no, since he is already opening his Death Eater robes and taking out his beautiful cock. 

“I bet you were hoping to find me here, right? Wanted to make me take you back? Make sweet love and be together forever?“ He chuckles condescendingly at that thought. „Look at you now, writhing under me, dying for me to fuck you like this, with my mask on. Scream for me, princessa.” You can’t see the expression on his face since he is wearing his mask but his words are so degrading and harsh. And still, your eyes roll back into your head. 

And you do scream for him, you can’t help it, you are overwhelmed with sensation, his hands, his cock, his scent. After a while, your arms give out and he pushes your chest down into the bed, holding your hands crossed behind your back, you can’t even move. You are completely at his mercy and the feelings in your head are so confusing. You feel pathetic, under him like this, your body getting rocked by his trusts, but still, the way his cock feels inside you, the way he seems so powerful and in control of you and your pleasure with the way he manipulates your body and mind creates a fog inside your brain. Surrounded by his grunts, you realize he is using you for his satisfaction, seemingly oblivious and uncaring about your comfort or pleasure. You being completely naked, with your face in the mattress while he is still fully clothed behind you is just another layer of the humiliation. But your fucked up brain makes you love it so much that with his whimpery moans in your ear you finally lose control as you feel him lose the rhythm and push all the way inside you, so incredibly deep,  as he spills himself inside you. 

There is no cuddling after. He unceremoniously pulls out and sits in his bed propped up against the headboard, a trembling hand bringing a cigarette to his mouth, while you try to find your clothes and dignity on the floor. 

“Nice show. You were loud enough, so now they know you’re mine and hopefully leave you alone. Doesn’t change anything between us though. You can use the floo to get out of here and I hope to never see you at these things again, you understand me?” He says all of this so coldly and without even looking at you at all, so you quickly throw on your clothes and leave through the floo, throwing a “you’re still the same asshole” at him over your shoulder. 

Sitting on your sofa two days later, you are replaying everything that happened that day in your head. Your brain keeps getting stuck on the fear in his eyes when he dragged you to the room, a shaking cigarette in his hand after the sex, a slight tremble in his voice while he kicked you out of the manor after fucking you into oblivion. 

Maybe everything is not as he wants you to believe. He saved you from them after all. 

As always, thank you for reading, hope you liked it. I’m not done with deatheater!Theo though 🤭.

moodboard

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾. ‧₊˚ Your principessa ‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾. ‧₊˚

If you want more: 🖤here🖤

If you need more death eater Theodore 😌

[nr1chaedickrider]

I can only be me when i'm by your side - i'm not a monster.

As time passes recovering, you've seemed to found your place in Jihyo's arms.

cw: fluff, smut, angst, petnames, virgin!reader, sweet girl!jihyo, popular but not so popular!jihyo, basketball player!jihyo, both are 18 but they are students, mentions of death, drunk confessions, they fall in love pretty fast, lwk rushed, lmk if there is more ^_^, ~ 4k words

if you're thinking "hm! i read this fic somewhere... yes! its my heeseung fic from my bg blog @adorwoo ! which i wanted to use for jihyo !^_^ hope you enjoy anyway.

men dni.

It's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

It's not your...

Is it really?

The rain beats down on your black umbrella, the lines from Dahyun's letter playing over and over in your head. It feels like you're trapped in a vicious cycle, not being able to think of anything else.

But why?

Why didn't she tell you?

Were all those conversations about the mutual trust between you two a lie? Was it just talk to keep you from worrying?

If someone had told you a week ago that you had to be at her funeral because she had killed herself, you would have laughed at that person. Dahyun was always the happiest person you've ever met.

Even if you had been told that a day ago, you wouldn't have believed it. Because in theory, it's the stupidest thing you've ever heard.

In his letter, she wrote about how much she loved you, how she enjoyed every minute and every moment with you, how it's not your fault that she's not here anymore.

She's probably right, not just probably. She's right, and you know it. But you can't stop blaming yourself. Someone has to take the blame. Someone is responsible.

You could have helped her.

You should have helped her.

Tears run down your cheeks as you stare at her grave. Her family, her friends, they are all gone. You stand here alone, not daring to leave.

'Kim Dahyun

Born on may 28, 1998.

A friend, daughter and lover.

She will continue to live in our souls.'

It feels like your eyes are glued to the writing, you can't look away. You try to regulate your breathing, taking a deep breath.

A sigh leaves your mouth as you place the white rose next to the gravestone.

You take one last look at her grave before turning and slowly walking away.

-

"I'm Y/n, nice to meet you all."

You look at the students in front of you, all of them giving you strange looks. Of course, you are a new student, but you feel uncomfortable under their gaze. The teacher smiles at you and tells you where to sit, next to a girl called Mina.

It's as if everyone has forgotten about you again as the teacher starts teaching. You sit down next to Mina and she smiles at you.

"Nice to meet you," she whispers. You smile at her.

You can't talk to her for long because she starts taking notes for the lesson. You look around at the faces of the others. It actually looks like a normal class, but your eyes land on a girl.

She looks shorter than you, her hair is brown as well as her eyes. She's wearing a white t-shirt.

"Have you laid your eye on someone?" asks Mina, laughing a little.

"No!" you answer, a little too loudly, and you put your head on the table as a few people look at you. "I was just looking at her," you whisper.

"Yeah yeah... that's what they all say" she says.

You slowly lose yourself in your thoughts as memories of Dahyun come flooding back.

Should you even look at other girls? Is it bad?

Would Dahyun hate you for trying to find love again?

It's been more than two months since she died, but you can't stop thinking about her.

Maybe it's normal, your behavior. Your overthinking of everything, maybe you're not the only person who feels this way? Maybe there is someone else who is just as lost in their thoughts as you are.

Maybe you are simply not alone.

However, your thoughts are interrupted by the bell and Mina.

"I can show you a few things here at school if you want," she suggests, and you gratefully accept her help.

You spend the whole lunch break running after her while she shows you around.

"Why did you change schools anyway? Your old one is a pretty well-known one, and much better than here," she asks, before taking a bite of her sandwich.

The question makes you wonder, and you think about whether you should just lie to her and say that you moved, or that you were somehow bullied at your school - but somehow it feels wrong. Because you neither moved nor were you bullied. No, everything was actually fine.

Actually,

Somehow everything changed after her death.

Your classmates started looking at you funny, and you still don't know whether they are looks of pity or looks of condemnation because they blame you.

"I don't know" is your answer, and somehow it's true. Sometimes you really have no idea why you changed schools, but Mina doesn't need to know the whole truth.

She just nods in response as she continues to eat.

"The girl you were looking at in English, her name is Jihyo by the way" she says.

What?

"Why are you telling me this?" you ask.

"Because you were staring at her a lot - you looked really interested in her" she replies with a little grin.

"How many times do I have to tell you, I wasn't staring at her..." you laugh a little, but can't hide your despair. Why does she think you're interested in her?

-

"Watch out!" someone shouts, but before you can react, a basketball hits you.

You fall to the floor, your head hurts and you feel slightly dizzy as you slowly open your eyes.

The girl from your English class is kneeling on the floor in front of you, looking at you, trying to see if you're okay.

It's like a cliché high school movie.

"Are you okay?" she asks, a couple of other girls come over, but she just tells them to get something to cool off and shoos them away.

The things that can happen when you want to visit the gym...

You nod slowly, after a few blinks your vision is no longer blurry.

Another girl comes back and hands Jihyo a cold pack.

"Here, take this," she says and puts it in your hand, her hand on your shoulder to support you.

You hold it to your head, biting the inside of your cheek slightly from the cold.

Before she can say anything else, she is called by his coach, at the same moment Mina comes to you.

"I was looking for you," she says and helps you up.

You watch Jihyo jogging across the field before you leave the gym.

-

New week, new luck?

Every day you tried desperately to talk to Jihyo somehow, but suddenly she was always gone after class and you were never put in a group together.

But it looks like luck is on your side for once.

"Here's the list of groups, you have to give a presentation in pairs on a play of your choice," your English teacher announces.

You look at the picture projected on the wall.

Chaeyoung and Mina,

Sana and Miyeon,

Jihyo and Y/n,

Jeongyeon and...

Wait, what?

You read the list again and once more you see your name and Jihyo's name next to each other.

"Jihyo and Y/n," you say quietly.

"Are you happy?" Mina asks teasingly with a grin on her lips.

"Are you happy that you have to work with Chaeyoung?" you ask back - Mina doesn't answer.

Before your teacher can give you any more homework for the break, the school bell rings and everyone rushes out of the classroom.

You walk (or rather, run) to Jihyo who is packing her things away.

"Hey, I was wondering when we should meet," you say, and she looks up at you and smiles. You feel your cheeks turning red.

She puts on his backpack and stands up.

"How about Friday afternoon? My place?" she suggests and you nod.

She takes a pen from her pocket, "Give me your hand," she says, you are confused but do it anyway.

She opens the pen with her mouth, the cap between her teeth as she gently writes on your hand.

Her phone number.

It feels like she's giving you an autograph.

"Text me and I'll send you my address," she says, and before you can answer, she walks out of the room.

You look down at your hand and see a little smiley face next to her number.

You can't help but giggle as you look at it.

-

You stare at your phone - up to her front door and back down to your phone.

You are 10 minutes early and don't dare to ring the doorbell.

"You know you can just ring the bell?" someone asks you, you look up and see Jihyo smiling at you.

"I'm early, that's why-"

"Not a problem," she interrupts you.

She lets you in and closes the door behind her.

Her house is beautiful, modern and yet somehow old-fashioned.

"My parents aren't here, so I thought we could study in the living room," she says, and you nod, leaning your backpack against the table.

"Water?" she asks and you take it gratefully.

You drink a little before she sits down across from you.

You both leaf through the books, take notes, talk briefly about certain passages, but otherwise no one says anything.

Jihyo decides to break the awkward atmosphere.

"I wanted to apologize again, for the basketball," she says, and you laugh a little.

"You don't have to apologize, things like that can happen," you reply.

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?" she asks, and instead of answering, you are completely silent, thinking.

Memories of Dahyun come back while Jihyo looks at you and waits for your answer.

"Yes, I did, but she died a few months ago," you answer.

She nods slightly, "Can I ask how he died?" she asks in a quiet, polite tone, as if she really wants to make sure that she's asking something that doesn't hurt you in any way.

"Suicide," you say, short and meager, without many details (whether you know many details at all is another question).

She looks at you with a supportive look, one that makes you feel like she's really listening and that she really understands you.

Maybe she understands you even more than you think?

She puts her hand on yours with a slight smile.

"Thank you for confiding in me," she says, your cheeks slightly flushed, hers too.

You both look at each other for a moment before she lets go and you both go back to work.

-

If only the work had gone on for longer.

After the one meeting, you saw her every day of the vacation. Always with the excuse that you supposedly "need to add something" (does going to the movies together add something to your project?).

It's been more than a week since you first met.

"You're in love," Mina says as she parks her car in front of Jihyo's house.

"I-"

"Don't even try to find an excuse, it's all good" she replies with a small grin.

You both get out of the car and walk to her house, the music so loud you can hear it several meters away.

How Jihyo, who is slightly drunk, hears the doorbell is also a mystery to you.

"Hey guys!" she greets you, she shakes Mina's hand and gives her a kind of high five, she gives you a hug.

You smile at her as the three of you walk into the living room.

"I'm going to Chaeyoung," Mina whispers, or rather shouts, in your ear before disappearing.

"Y/n, do you want to play a drinking game with us?" asks Jihyo, you nod.

Maybe it was a stupid decision.

Jihyo and her friends (of whom you only know Jeongyeon) only understand drinking games to mean taking shots and asking stupid questions.

Either answer - or drink.

You always chose the second option.

After about 7 questions (maybe more, maybe less - you lost count of that pretty fast) you get up and say that you need some fresh air.

Since you've been to her house several times, you know where the upstairs balcony is.

It's quite big, with a parasol and two folding chairs. You sit down on one and close your eyes, your head throbs a little.

"Are you okay?" someone asks after a few minutes.

To your surprise (not really a surprise), Jihyo stands next to you before sitting down on the chair to your right.

"Yeah, it's just the alcohol," you say.

You and alcohol, not really a good combination.

Especially not when you're sitting next to the girl you're in love with.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" you ask out of nowhere.

She shakes his head, "I thought it was obvious" she says and laughs a little.

"I love you" you confess.

She turns to you, but before he can answer anything, you keep talking.

"I know we haven't known each other that long... a month?? more? less? but-... I just have this feeling with you that I only used to have with her"

"I thought I'd never feel it again," you say, a tear running down your cheek.

Jihyo looks at you, her eyes slightly watery.

Is she crying too?

"Y/n" she says, interrupting your continued rambling.

She gets up, kneels down in front of your chair, and -

kisses you.

Her soft lips on yours.

She pulls away after just a few seconds and you already feel like you miss her lips.

"I love you too Y/n" she says softly.

You look at her in amazement.

"Really?" you ask.

"That's why I asked if you had a girlfriend" now it all makes so much more sense.

She pulls you up and takes you to the guest room. She tries to lay you down on the bed but you pull her with you and she falls on top of you.

You both stare at each other and laugh a little.

"You're drunk, get some rest," she says, kissing your forehead.

"I'll be here when you wake up"

-

And she really is next to you when you wake up.

"Good morning..." you groan as you rub your eyes.

She smiles at you, "good morning" she says, from the look on her face you suspect she woke up just a few minutes before you.

You pull her closer to you by her collar and kiss her, she kisses you back while her hand is on your cheek.

The kiss is just perfect, gentle, slow, a perfect way to start his morning.

But it can also be perfect in another way.

It gets warmer under the covers as you continue kissing, she kisses down your jaw to your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses on it. You can't help but rub your thighs together a little.

"What about the others?" you ask.

"I kicked them out yesterday after you fell asleep" she says, continuing to kiss your neck, even nibbling on it, making you let out soft moans.

"Jihyo, I think you should know that I am a virgin" you say, your cheeks heating up a little in embarrassment.

She giggles a little, kissing you on the lips again.

"Nothing to be embarrassed about baby" she replies with a smile.

She gets on top of you, continuing to kiss you.

You think kissing Jihyo is the best thing in the world.

Her hands trail over your body, giving you a soft squeeze here and there.

"Can I?" she asks, her hand playing with the buttons on your pants.

"Please" you answer with a smile.

She complies and opens them, pulling off your pants and leaving you in your underwear.

You sit up a little, your hands on her waist, feeling up her muscles, especially her abs.

"Want me to take it off?" she asks, you nod.

She pulls off her shirt over her head, dropping it somewhere on the floor.

Your finger trails up his stomach to her bra, looking at her like she is a work of art (she definetly is one).

"Done admiring me?" she asks with a teasing grin, to which you reply "never".

She leans down again, kissing your face as she starts to trail them down till he arrives at the waistband of your underwear.

"Can I?" she asks again, "yes" you answer, already out of breath.

She takes your underwear off, her hands placed on your thighs as she leaves kisses everywhere.

You can definetly tell that she has a thing for kissing.

When she places a kiss right on your clit though, you let out a small moan.

She begins licking and sucking on it, making you grab her hair with your hands as your fingers curl deeper into her scalp, leaving a delicious burn.

She drags her tongue down as she circles your core, slowly entering it a little.

You let out more moans as you turn your head to the side, moaning into the pillow.

Her tongue feels so good when you realise that you are closer and closer to your climax.

"Jihyo- I think I'm gonna-"

"Let it out princess" she mumbles against your core, the vibrations of her voice stimulating you even more as you cum into her mouth.

She smiles at you as he sits up, watching you coming down from your high.

You smile back at him as your cheeks turn red again.

"Can I?" she asks, her fingers trailing down your soft skin as her nails scratch you a little.

You look at her hand, a few veins poking out, her fingers thin but long.

You look at her again, nodding.

You pulled her closer as she rubs your clit with her fingers, you suck in your breath as she slowly pushes them in, the little stretch burning in a way that makes you even hornier.

She slips them in completly, you let out a moan in response. She takes your hand with her free one as your fingers intertwine.

She starts to slowly thrust into you, kissing you again as her tongue explores your mouth.

"You're so tight baby.." she mumbles into your mouth.

You can't help but let out louder moans when she starts to speed up a little.

Her fingers drive you crazy, it feels like she is everywhere, you feel her everywhere in your body as she exits and enters you.

"P-please jihyo- faster" you moan out, and who would she be if she wouldn't listen to your wishes?

She speeds up her thrusts, kissing down your neck again as her hot breath hits your skin.

Your hand grips the pillow your hand is laying on, moaning against your arm as you can feel Jihyo curling her fingers.

She thrusts into you again before you moan loudly, cumming as your thighs close around her wrist, panting heavily as she lets herself fall onto the spot next to you.

You both stare at the ceiling, the only sounds the heavy breathing from you.

You move her hand to yours and intertwine your fingers. She moves her head to the side to look at you, smiling.

You think seeing her smiling is something you can never get enough of.

-

Idiots in love, thats how you two can be described.

The next few months were full of love. Kisses here, kisses there. It didn't even have to be sexual, no, it was always romantic, no matter what you did together.

After a few months, she gave you a ring.

"One day I'll buy you an expensive, real diamond ring and ask you to marry me," she said, and since then you've both worn the matching rings without taking them off once.

If only it had stayed that way.

It's late at night, you're lying in bed reading a book when you get a message.

"I love you,

I'm sorry" - from Jihyo.

You sit up and stare at your cell phone.

"What's wrong?" you type and send the message, she replies,

"I can't take it anymore"

She can't take it anymore?

You feel a twinge in your head as you suddenly realize something.

It's too similar to Dahyun's goodbye.

"I can't live in this world anymore" she wrote in her text.

You look at her location, and without hesitation you walk, no - storm out of your apartment and run to her.

She's not far away, a bridge situated over a river only 5 minutes away, and you think you've never been so grateful for anything.

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to see anything while your clothes get wetter and wetter, the rain completly drenches you.

Again it feels like a cliché love drama.

Only maybe this time you have the chance to have a happy ending.

Your legs are burning from all the running as you arrive on the bridge.

"Jihyo!" you shout, the rain pattering loudly on the asphalt, forcing you to shout even louder for her.

Her bike is right next to her, one leg over the railing, her hands gripping it tightly, as if she's...

Scared?

"Y/n?" she answers, her voice low and shaky.

"Please..." you say as you walk slowly towards her.

She doesn't stop you when you take her hand in yours.

"Why didn't you tell me?" you ask, she looks at you as a tear runs down her cheek.

"I-... I didn't want you to worry. I thought this feeling would go away if I didn't talk to anyone about it," she says.

Whether your face is wet from the rain or your tears, you don't know.

"Believe me, you have to talk to me, then it will get better," you say.

Her face comes closer to yours and, without answering, she kisses you.

You kiss her back, try to grab her so you can hold her closer - but she lets go.

Completely.

You slowly open your eyes, afraid of what you will see - but you see nothing.

No one.

The rain completely overwhelms you.

"No..." you whisper, looking down on the floor and picking up something shiny.

Her ring.

You look out over the railing and see the water turning slightly red.

It feels like you're trapped in a vicious circle, like you'll never find peace again.

You are trapped, with no way out.

-

While other people find the rain soothing, you find it to be more like torture.

While other people would stay indoors in weather like this, you're outside again.

Again in front of a grave.

But this time it's Jihyo's.

Everything feels too similar and you hate it more than anything.

"It's not your fault" is a sentence you started to hate.

You hoped so much that you would never have to hear or read it again.

"Why didn't you talk to me..." you whisper, as if she could hear you.

Your hand clutches the letter, it slowly getting soaked by the rain.

You don't dare to move.

"You knew what happened..."

All time does is passing -

"Why did you hide it from me..." Your voice is full of despair.

And all you ever do is grieve.

"Life without you is no way to live" the white flower falls on his grave -

just like her ring,

engraved with your name.

She helped you recover from Dahyun's death.

You just wish you wouldn't have to recover over her death alone now.

In another universe, you've seemed to found your place in Jihyo's arms.

In this universe, you're left alone,

again.

[crescenthistory]

hear me out…b4 with paul <333

thanks for your request babe! this fit best as a silly drabble in my mind, enjoy<33

Prompt: B.4 “Kiss me again”

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: sparring, kissing, goofing

The blade whistles through the air, missing your cheek by a breath as you twist out of the way. You’re not fast enough to avoid the follow-up, though – Paul’s foot sweeps low, knocking you off balance. You hit the ground hard, air rushing from your lungs.

He is standing over you in an instant, poised and confident, dark curls falling over his forehead, eyes glittering with the quiet triumph he always tries to mask.

“Yield?” he asks, that edge of teasing already creeping into his voice. He extends a hand down to you, his stance relaxed, clearly feeling like he has already won. Typical.

“I’ll think about it,” you huff, reaching up as if you’re taking his hand. The second your fingers brush his, you tug, hard. He yelps in surprise as you yank him off his feet, using his own weight to pull him down.

He lands hard beside you, his expression startled for a split second before it melts into a grin. You don’t give him time to recover, rolling over to press the flat of your practice blade to his throat.

“Yield?” you echo, your smirk matching his earlier confidence.

Paul laughs, bright and unguarded, and it’s the kind of sound that makes your chest feel too tight. His shoulders shake beneath you, his amusement spilling out in waves, and for a moment, you forget about the training ground and the hours of drills. It’s just him, here, like this.

“Okay, okay, I yield.” His hands coming up in mock surrender. In his eyes, though, there is a dancing, teasing glint that should tell you he’s not done playing yet.

You lift the blade, relaxing your grip – and he strikes.

With a swift movement, Paul rolls you both over so you’re beneath him, pinning you to the ground. Before you can protest, he catches your wrists, holding them down with an infuriatingly smug look on his face. His body is warm above you, his breath still coming fast from the laughter.

“Can’t believe you fell for your own trick,” he murmurs, leaning in close, voice a low drawl meant to needle you.

Your lips twitch, torn between frustration and amusement. “Can’t believe you’re so insufferable.”

“I’ve been told.” He smirks, leaning in even closer, so close now that his breath ghosts over your skin. “But admit it. You love losing to me.”

He loves to push the limit with you, but you won't let him get away that easy.

“Oh, please.” You scoff, squirming under his grip. “I am so above that.”

You throw your hips up on the side of his, mind too focused on not losing to panic over your proximity, as you use your weight and sheer willpower to topple him over, ripping out of his grasp from the momentum.

Both opponents scramble to your feet, eyes trained on the other to catch any small movement. Despite yourself, a smile begins to tug at the corner of your mouth, relishing in the pure childish fun of it all.

Once Paul sees, he smiles himself, shaking his head slightly at your antics.

In the next moment you throw your body around and lunge, taking advantage of his slight distraction.

Your foot connects with Paul’s chest, and he stumbles back, laughing as he barely regains his balance. His grin grows lopsided, wild, as he twirls his blade in hand, trying to recover some dignity.

“Oh, don’t even think about it,” you warn as you see him shift his posture. You know him too well, his signalling, his tells – he’s about to pull one of his flashy moves, the kind that makes you roll your eyes but also secretly impresses you. 

Paul cocks his head, increasingly infuriating smirk still on his lips. “Think about what? Winning?”

You narrow your eyes. “Trying and failing to, at least.”

Ignoring you, his foot sliding forward with practised ease, body twisting in ways it shouldn’t be able to, blade arcing toward you in a sweeping strike.

You sidestep him, just out of range, letting him stumble slightly past you.

“Really?” you tease, pressing in close before he can recover, mock blade at the ready. “Is this the same Paul Atreides that’s supposed to be great?”

“Oh, I’m saving my energy,” he quips, but his breath is coming faster, his shoulders rising and falling. “Just giving you a false sense of security.”

“Right,” you say, repressing an eye roll so you can keep your focus on him. “So, in this plan, I’m supposed to get overconfident and–”

Paul surges forward before you can finish, his blade coming at you in a quick, fluid strike. You barely manage to block it, relying on your reflexes as you twist and catch his wrist in your hand, using his momentum to throw him off balance. He stumbles, wide-eyed, and you spin, finally pressing him back against the smooth stone floor of the courtyard.

His back hits the ground with a soft thud, and you’re on him in an instant, straddling his waist, pinning him down. Your practice blade presses lightly to his throat, though your grin is what’s really sharp now.

“How did that work out, huh?” you say, raising an eyebrow. “Yield, or are we going to keep pretending?”

Paul’s breathing has quickened beneath you, but there’s still that mischievous glint in his eyes, even as he raises his hands in a final surrender. “Alright, alright,” he says, smiling. “You win this round.”

You can’t help the triumphant laugh that bursts from you. “Oh, don’t look so surprised.”

“I’m not,” he replies, his voice dropping an octave as he looks up at you, his eyes flicking to linger on your lips. “Not when you fight like that.”

Your heart skips a beat, your breath catching in your throat. It’s all playful until it’s not.

Maybe if you weren’t full of endorphins from the fight and, more importantly, the win, you would have thought twice. Instead, you drop your knife in favour of his cheek and lean down to catch his lips with yours.

It’s short lived, seconds feeling like minutes when you’re this high, but when you pull back, Paul’s hands shoot up to secure you by your waist and neck so you can’t go far. 

He whispers your name with a wild look in his eyes. When you meet that gaze, you realise what you did and what it meant.

Paul tilts his head up slightly, lips still brushing yours. “Kiss me again,” he murmurs.

For a second, you’re frozen, caught in the quiet intensity of his gaze. His voice i soft but insistent, and the teasing banter from a moment ago seems to have slipped away. The challenge remains, though.

“Paul…” you start, but whatever you were going to say fades as his hands tighten on your hips, urging you closer.

“You heard me,” he says, his tone lighter this time, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “You’re going to deny the victor their spoils?”

You huff a laugh, shaking your head. “Pretty sure I’m the victor.”

When Paul rolls you over this time, it’s with lazy ease as you don’t feel the need to fight it. His hand falls from your face to hold him up, most of his weight being placed on his hips on yours.

“What about now?” 

“Doesn’t change a thing, Atreides.”

Still, you give into him and tug on his hair to bring him back down into another searing kiss. What started as a playful gesture shifts into something deeper, something that makes you forget about the sparring match, about the training grounds, about everything except the feeling of Paul’s lips moving against yours. His hands slide up your sides, settling on your waist, and his fingers flex slightly, like he’s anchoring himself to the moment, to you.

When you pull back for air, your foreheads resting together, Paul is smiling –  that rare, genuine smile that you only ever see when it’s just the two of you, away from all the expectations and responsibilities.

“You know,” he says, voice breathless but still tinged with humour, “you didn’t have to knock me flat to kiss me.”

You snort, rolling your eyes as you sit back slightly, still straddling him. “Where’s the fun in that? Besides,” you add, raising an eyebrow, “if you wanted to kiss me so badly, you could’ve won.”

Paul laughs, full and bright, and you feel his body shake beneath yours. “Oh, I let you win.”

“Right,” you drawl, shifting to poke him in the chest with your finger. “Sure, sure. Go on and keep telling yourself that, future Duke.”

His grin softens, and he reaches up to gently tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I’d rather be here.”

The way he says it so earnestly hits you somewhere deep, making your heart stutter in your chest. You swallow, your playful bravado slipping for a moment as you meet his gaze. He’s looking at you with that same intensity, the one that makes you feel seen in a way that’s almost too much.

“Paul…” you start again, but he interrupts with a playful grin, his hands slipping to your waist again.

“Don’t go all serious on me now,” he teases, though there’s a gentleness to it, a way he’s pulling you back into the easy, playful rhythm you share. “You’ve still got me pinned. Enjoy it while it lasts.”

You laugh, shaking off the sudden tension. “You mean while you let it last?” Your tone imitates his.

“Exactly.”

“Well, if we pretend I’m in charge,” you say, leaning down again, your breath mingling with his, “then I say we take a break from all this training.”

Paul hums in agreement, his lips brushing yours again as he murmurs, “You always have the best ideas.”

“Now you admit it.”

[xxkiller-muffinxx]

THAT FLOYD ONESHOT WAS SO GOOD‼️‼️ I'd love to see a part 2 for it!^^

(If you want to btw-)

As long as we're together

Floyd x reader (Part 1) (part 2) (part 3)

Summary: after a long while of being reconnected with your favorite brozone member. You make plenty of sweet familiar memories, however a line is crossed when a familiar popstar duo enters the picture.

Words: 1475

Warnings: Implied death, angst, another semi-cliffhanger

A/N: I don't know why I wrote these so fast, but maybe it's because I stopped worrying about tiny details and just went with the flow. I don't think I got Velvet and Veneers personalities perfect but I just felt like their scene fit their dynamic as best as possible. Genuinely appreciate the support on the last part, your guy’s positive feedback gives me life. Stay golden and enjoy! Ps. Velvet and Veneer are the same color but I tried to make it clear who was talking in the writing, thank you!

✦✧✦

You remember the first week you two were together. So fondly. Back to back in your prisons and humming each other's favorite song. No matter how embarrassing.

⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱

It's been quiet for a few hours, you're both recovering from the last concert and are giving each other time to process. When suddenly Floyd begins humming quietly. You look at him and raise an eyebrow.

He returns your eye contact and smiles warmly. He then whispers. “Don't you…forget about me.” He would quietly sing. He continued mumbling the words until you would join in, but instead with one of his songs.

“Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep. Dreaming about the things that we could be.” You placed a hand on the glass as your voices began to wrap around one another. Creating a symphony unlike anything else. It reminded you that sometimes just singing matters more than any perfect note.

The two of you continued until you couldn't anymore. You tried to keep humming but you threw yourself into a coughing fit. Floyd immediately stopped singing and looked at you. “Hey hey, it's okay. You don't have to.” he comforted, instinctively reaching out a hand for your shoulder but being stopped by the barrier between you two.

“I'm okay. I'm okay,” you responded, despite the deep pain in your chest. You sat up and leaned on the glass. “Can we still talk?” You asked. Then Floyd nodded.

“So mount rageous? Pretty cool huh?” he started the conversation, but you only snorted at his sad excuse for a conversation topic.

⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱

In a similar regard. You remember him telling you about his brothers. You were getting a bit too overhyped over all of them though. Even if you loved every other brother, you had to remind him who the best of them was.

⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱

“Then there's Spruce-”

“The heartthrob!”

“Yeah him. He was nice, I didn't like how much he butted heads with John though. I just wish I could see them again,” He looked at his hands, gripping the air as if it were life support. You frowned. Leaning into the glass.

You didn't know how to comfort him, at this point, you were both pretty pessimistic. So saying anything optimistic would have the opposite effect. So you decided to keep talking instead.

“Yeah, spruce was pretty cool, but did you go to the last Brozone concert?” You said, utterly messing with him at that point.

“Wait what?” He asked as he glanced back at you.

“It was so good! I mean the pyrotechnics, the colors, ugh! The music! Don't get me started on the music!” you did your best to stand up and did an excited spin. Floyd followed.

“Woah hey, slow down.” he placed both hands on the glass and his eyebrows creased with worry.

“Though there was something I could never get over. Something that always irked me.” You stumbled back into the purple surrounding you, looking into Floyd’s eyes. He frowned and looked down. Seeming to already know what you’re going to say. However, you hit him with a curveball. “There wasn’t enough of that sensitive troll…what was his name again?”

He shook his head and said your name once. “What are you talking about?”

“He had pink hair, he was almost the youngest but Bitty B was too quick.”

He laughed and shook his head. “Bitty B was the star of the show honestly.”

You laughed and leaned your forehead toward him, he did the same. Your eyes met and you grinned. “He was the cutest troll and my favorite. No other brother could beat him.”

His cheeks turned red instantaneously, causing him to turn away. you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing. Which threw you into yet another coughing fit, Floyd was at your side quickly. Checking up on you to make sure you weren’t gone yet.

⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱⊰⊱

Those moments, even if short. Meant the world to you. Now the boundary was crossed. Neither of you had much strength to talk or sing together anymore. To you went with compatible silence. That is until Velvet and Veneer took matters into their own hands.

You were in your usual spot when suddenly, Velvet stormed in. She was in hysterics, absolutely appalled by her performance. “I can't believe that happened!” she shrieked, kicking a shoe into a wall. Veneer came in right behind her.

“It's fine! One voice crack never ruined anyone's career! Woah!” Veneer dodged another shoe and hid behind a mirror just in case. Velvet wasn't having any of it though, she was completely thrown off course.

She stomped to the desk and swiped up the perfume bottle you were inside. “I don't care if it was one voice crack or five! I can't mess up like that in front of the world!” she growled and was prepared to throw you across the room. Before she stopped. She looked at you and smiled. “I just need more troll. That's all.”

She grinned, pulling the bottle to her neck and beginning to spray all around her. Veneer came from behind the mirror and put out a hand. “Hey, maybe we should ration those little guys, don't know how many trolls we're going to need, you know?” He tried reasoning.

Floyd looked up at Velvet and watched in horror as she sprayed as much of the music onto her as she could. There was nothing he could do. Velvet laughed in her insanity. Glancing at Veneer she made sure she was covered head to toe. “We won't need much more Veneer! If I nail this performance we’ll be made! I promise!”

Veneer shook his head and walked closer. When Velvet suddenly sprayed him in the face. “And face it. You love the attention as much as I do.” She hissed. Then once she was calm she slammed you back down onto the desk and left you alone. “Okay, now…I'm ready!” She was going to leave but Veneer stopped her. He pointed at your bottle and gulped. Velvet turned to look at you.

You were spent, your hair all white and your skin turning an entirely different shade. You were dying, and you were dying fast. Floyd dropped to his knees and whispered your name multiple times as if it would be the last thing he uttered. “Please be okay, please hold on for a bit longer.” He begged,

Then as soon as you were down, you were up again. Velvet groaned and handed Veneer the bottle. “You handle it. I have to get ready.” She said before leaving him alone in the room. Veneer grimaced as he watched her go. Then grimaced even more when he realized his duty.

Floyd banged on the glass. Trying to break it open to no avail. Veneer looked at Floyd. “Geez, you're making this harder. If I don't do this you know what Velvet will do.” He knelt down to Floyd’s level. Veneer’s eyes pleading for understanding.

Floyd shakes his head. “you don't have to do this, Veneer just let us go! Please, I'm begging you.” Floyd pushes hard on the glass, looking up into his eyes. Veneer, on the brink of being moved, stands up and looks at your nearly lifeless form.

Before he could respond, Velvet rips the diamond out of his hand. “What are you doing? I told you to deal with it. Not stand around playing with it.” She looked around and crossed her arms. “Ugh I always have to do everything. Hope you like flying.” she says, walking to the nearest window and opening it.

Veneer cringed at the notion, sitting down and looking away from her. Floyd began panicking more trying to get out more than ever, but of course. It wasn't working. He needed the perfect family harmony.

Without much of a second thought. Velvet threw you out of the window. Watching you fall and then dusting her hands off. She looked at Veneer. “Well? We have a show to put on. We have to get ready! Come on!” She walked out, leaving Veneer with Floyd. Veneer looked down at the troll and was going to comfort him when he decided, it probably wasn't for the best.

Veneer left, leaving Floyd all alone. Floyd was looking out the window. Thinking about you, thinking about all the fun you had in your worst situation, and he realized it was false hope. Being with you for the rest of your lives. He then realized there was no platonic explanation for his feelings.

He had loved you, but he didn't know it until you were gone.

Pt 3?

[chibinightowl]

Today has been a day. Just a lot of hospital stress this week between my mom and my husband's surgeries and this is how it's coming out (they're both fine and are recovering well).

~~~

Dick finds Tim in a waiting room at Gotham General, slumped in a faded blue plastic chair that's seen better days. At some point during the day, his brother had been immaculately dressed for the office. But now, his blue pin-striped suit is wrinkled, his collar is unbuttoned, and his shirtsleeves have been rolled up. There was a tie somewhere as Dick knows Tim never leaves home without one on an office day, but it's anyone's guess as to where it currently is.

"Hey. I got here as fast as I could," he says, taking the open seat beside Tim. He did too, calling Wally as soon as he got the news from Barbara. "How's Jason?"

Tim opens his eyes, giving him a look that is more dead than alive. "Still critical."

Pain lances through Dick at the two words. He'd lost Jason once before and the guilt from being off world when his Little Wing needed him the most still ate at him in the darkest parts of his psyche. And now, here he is sitting with another brother he never thought he'd have, one who's been through so much trauma and loss of his own--and who is on the verge of possibly losing another loved one.

A car-pedestrian accident. The gall of something so normal and mundane having the potential to take out the Red Hood--or any of them for that matter--is enough to make Dick want to punch the taupe wall of this dreary waiting room.

To be honest, he's rather surprised none of the others are here yet. Well, expect Bruce. He's off world with the JL and...

Oh.

Oh.

"Do you think Bruce knows yet?"

Tim's shrug is so minute Dick might have missed it if he wasn't watching closely. "Can't say I care right now. He and Jay got into another of their big fights before he left. Said if Jay can't clean up his act, then don't bother coming back."

Dick winces and easily reads between the lines of what Tim isn't saying given their semi-public place. Even in Bludhaven, he'd heard about the execution-style murder of a known pedophile--and that it was the Red Hood who'd done it.

"He didn't do it, Dick," Tim whispers, catching his gaze as tears build in his eyes. "I was there. I know he didn't. But Bruce didn't listen to either of us, said I was covering for him because he's in my pants." Those last words are practically spat out. "I think this is the first time I've ever felt like I hate him. He just doesn't listen!"

That's a feeling Dick knows all too well. He also knows now why the others aren't here--that Barbara called him first because Tim doesn't need just comfort.

He needs his big brother.

Dick slides from the chair to kneel on the floor in front of Tim. "Now that is something I know a lot about." He takes Tim's hands and squeezes them firmly. "I'm not going to tell you it'll get better. I'm also not going to say you need to be the bigger person and forgive him. What I am going to tell you is that I believe you and that I believe in Jason."

Tim's breath hitches and he falls into Dick's open arms sobbing. Thank yous fall from his lips and into Dick's jacket. Tears fill his own eyes as he remembers another time where he didn't believe this little bird, his first Robin.

Time hasn't necessarily dulled the guilt, but it has given him perspective. He'd done what he thought best at the time and owned up to it when he'd been proven wrong--a trait not shared by their mentor and father-figure.

"We'll get through this together," Dick soothes, running a hand up and down Tim's back. "You, me, and everyone else. We're all here for you and we're all pulling for Jason."

As he speaks, he glances up and spots Alfred hurrying down the hall with Damian and Duke in tow. Both boys are still dressed in their school uniforms, so Alfred must have pulled them out early. Behind them are Cass and Steph, hands held tightly.

"We're all here," he repeats, nudging Tim's chin to make him look up. "And we're not going anywhere."

[yellowhollyhock]

I feel like both Don and Raph could have helped Leo during his ptsd arc. Raph would be the only one who understands Leo’s anger and Don would understand almost getting everyone killed in his cased killed cuz of SAINW.

super sweet idea! I think it's true that they both would be able to relate to him in different ways, and it makes sense they'd try to reach him on those grounds. To be honest, I think that's exactly what would make it difficult for them to help--or well, not by necessity, but what did make it difficult for them to help

Anyways you gave me an excuse to overanalyze Don's reaction to Leo's ptsd arc, and while I'm here I'm doing Raph and Mikey as well

Okay let's talk about Donny. I've thought about this one a lot. We don't ever canonically see him dealing with what he saw in that alternate universe, other than immediately after when he hugs Mikey and Raph. But we can imagine. He's already someone who puts a lot of pressure on himself (ie Underground City). Now the big threat that's been weighing so heavy on him for so long, the thing that he went to the future and saw there was no way to beat except to sacrifice themselves, is gone.

He can finally rest.

And I do feel like that's the attitude we see. He's eager to take out some aggression on the PDs when they show up at the farmhouse, but it's not Obsessive Mode Donatello. Compared to how we know he gets when he thinks something is his fault or that someone needs him help, he Chillin. Also he immediately develops a crush on Jhanna. I mean that's just one reading, but as a lesbo recovering from severe emotional repression I think I know the face of a traumatized soul seeking solace in the idea of a future and falling too hard too fast for Stronk Smort Gorl as soon as she gives him a bit of attention, not that I, ahem, have uh, direct experience or anything

Anyway

I think he's making a very deliberate choice to stop taking things so seriously--to be a kid for the little bit of time he has left to be a kid. To cling on tightly to his relationships with his brothers above all else, because he knows (and likely has it fresh in his mind) he could lose them. Goofing off with Mikey isn't a distraction, it's a priority.

And then Leo is doubling down on being child soldiers. To Donny, all that work they did was to escape that life. Taking down the Shredder should mean, from his pov, they now get to focus on just living, building themselves a little corner of the world they can just stay in and be happy.

I had a breakdown of multiple episodes demonstrating this but my app crashed and it all got deleted so just trust me ok

Big important example though: Dragons Rising. Yes, Donny understands the mission, he'll play his part to get it done, but even more pressing is to make sure he preserves the light in Mikey's eyes. Now that the Shredder is dealt with that's the next thing on his checklist to make sure that future never happens. They put on silly disguises. He wears a mustache and does an old man voice.

Then Leo doesn't see the exact results he wanted from a planned mission and chews them out for treating it like a game. I can imagine how much that remark would sting for Donny specifically, assuming his brothers know about what happened in that alternate dimension. (do you think old man Leo, listening to this sixteen-year-old insisting that they should go after Shredder again, this time they would win, ever said something, even very gently, to the effect of 'be careful Donny, this isn't a game?' y-yeah me neither)

You can hear his barely contained frustration when he defends himself and the others with, "Leo, we did the best we could."

Which is ultimately what will help Leo. That's the exact mantra that brings him through the battle with himself. But he's not hearing it from Don; to him in that moment it just sounds like an excuse. And Donny, who is also a hurting traumatized teenager, very likely doesn't appreciate his hard-earned wisdom being dismissed as childish and lazy.

Now on to Raph: he talks explicitly throughout Leo's arc about how he can see himself in it, and out of everyone, I feel like we see him most directly trying to help. He's sticking right by his side, supporting his ideas, training harder when Leo asks him to train harder. Back to Dragons Rising: in stark contrast to Donny's almost scolding comfort, Raph waits until Leo leaves and then:

"I hate to say it, but Leo's right."

Everything Leo is saying and doing makes perfect sense to Raph--as far as he's concerned, where it goes wrong is when it gets too extreme. 'Yes we do need to take this more seriously, but he shouldn't yell at us.' 'Okay training more and harder is a good idea, but how much more and harder?' He gets needing to blow off steam--he watches Leo face the rat king, and holds back (which is not an easy thing for him to do) because he thinks Leo needs to work this out of his system.

After all, that's what Raph's always done. Step outside, get some air, find someone to take it out on who deserves it so that he doesn't take it out on his brothers. But you know what else Raph is always doing when he does that?

Finding someone to help.

And that's super healthy and really healing. But it's something he does naturally because he likes to, I don't know if he's connected it with helping to manage his temper (it's easy for us to see because we're watching it, but he's living it. Hard to notice patterns when you're in the middle of them).

Anyway, blowing off steam doesn't work for Leo. Every time he faces something down on his own just further reinforces to him that he's the only one taking this seriously, and he absolutely has to be perfect in order for his family to be safe.

I think a lot about Raph, seeing Leo get mad enough to hurt Master Splinter, and then watching him be sent away. From his teenage perspective, wouldn't it feel like Leo is being punished? Wouldn't he wonder about how far he's allowed to push things, how close he might have come in the past to being sent overseas? I think Leo really needed the time for himself and understood that to some extent. He probably felt it was a just punishment as well, but I think he realized Splinter was doing what was best for him. After all, he asked for his training to go to the next level. And he doesn't want to make another mistake like that.

But for Raph? I don't think he can imagine a worse punishment than being separated from his family, especially if he just hurt one of them. That moment between Leo and Splinter had to remind him a lot of himself and Mikey. Imagine how he would've felt if the answer to that had been, 'I can't train you anymore, go to Japan to meet a man you've never heard of who will teach you how to control your temper.'

Also later on when he realizes how much it did actually help and wasn't meant to be punitive, that absolutely would twist into 'why were Leo's problems that important but mine never were.'

So why isn't Leo receptive to Raph's help? Well he is. But his goal isn't to heal. He thinks he's doing the right thing by spiraling further and further. Leo would have sucked up Raph's loyalty not unlike what Shredder did to Karai. Obviously not to the same extreme, but he would keep expecting Raph to be right behind him and work towards his goals, and Raph would've kept thinking that the Leo he knew, an undeniably down to earth Decent Guy, was still in there and would be back if he just held out and stuck around. Raph is not hard and fast with rules, he'd make allowances for his brother who is clearly going through some things. And Leo would have just kept pushing.

Wow that got dark

Anyway

They love each other very much, and ultimately, the fact that Raph did stick it out for so long was likely a big help to Leo. He just wasn't able to see it for what it was until he first shifted his priority to achieving peace within himself, instead of trying to fix the rest of the world. And I do think when he gets back, he'll remember how Raph stuck by him even when he was being very difficult. Because he really did, more than anyone.

As for Mikey, he and Leo have plenty of differences, but they've always been on the same page about one thing: the greater good.

I think Mikey sees Leo doubling down and assumes it's similar to the last time they defeated Shredder: City at War. During that time, Leo and Mikey were the ones who wanted to go out and fix the mess the city was in, stay involved in gang politics. Raph and Splinter were staunchly against it, and Donny went to support and protect the others, with him and Mikey both frequently trying to gently rein Leo in (not something they normally have to do).

Mikey sees it all happening again. Leo feels responsible for the city's safety, doesn't want to rest on their laurels, going into hyper-vigilance after a big victory as an overcorrection from overconfidence.

So Mikey leans just as hard into confidence. He's skipping on training, doubling down on the jokes, anything he can to get Leo to lighten up, or, when that doesn't work, avoid Leo whenever he can. No one likes to be constantly criticized. Just like Donny, he gets defensive: they are doing good for the city, they will keep on winning. After all, he's already a superhero, and a Battle Nexus Champion.

It makes a lot of sense he starts bragging about that again--seeking comfort from the past when the present offers none--and is unfortunate for him that Raph and Donny are just as exhausted as he is from the micro management and constant negativity, and do not take the bragging well at all.

It's also something that ends up helping Leo a lot. Directs all that energy and rage towards a goal, helps him look outside of himself by focusing on helping Mikey, balances the guilt of perceived failures (of himself and of his family) with a simple clear-cut victory. And Mikey knows it helped, he gets to see Leo being closer to himself again. It feels like he's close to a much more important victory, so he keeps pressing. He tries talking more positively about Leo, because positive words mean so much to him and are what's been missing in their home.

It helps some. It might've helped more directly after the inciting event. Either way, it's not a solution. Outside praise has never been enough for Leo, if he's decided he's not where he should be he's gonna keep pushing himself until he achieves it.

And this time 'it' is the assured safety of his family, something he honestly hasn't ever experienced before, and as far as he's concerned, takes more than all of them combined have to give

Overall, yeah I do think both Raph and Donny would've had some useful wisdom to share if 1) anyone had noticed and asked 2) they were able to separate the coping/survival skills they used to deal with their traumas from The Way Everyone Should Deal with Hard Things (big ask from teenagers--as far as they're concerned what they've been through so far is how life works).

Those conversations could've been a big help, although I don't think any amount of family talks would solve things. Leo needed the in-show equivalent of professional help. He needed time away from his family, too, so he could see more clearly what he was doing to them and himself.

I also do think all three of them will have cause to think back later on Splinter's comments that they had healed, but Leo hadn't. I get what Splinter meant by this, Leo's response was maladaptive and even immediately dangerous, but my guy, nobody's okay just a couple months after a traumatic event like that. No not even with meditation, no not even if they are laughing and playing video games. Especially considering how much those boys had already been through. Not to mention the added trauma of Leo 1) having such a drastic personality change that manifested largely as aggression towards them, and 2) being sent away. but that's probably a whole other post lsbfksjs

[dawnrider]

For the bodyguard au prompt, can I please request InuKag:

"You're not paid enough to die."

"Sometimes it's not about the money."

I love all of your stories by the way! You’re an incredible writer!

@somegoodcrumbs you are so sweet! Thank you!🥰

This one-shot... very much got away from me. 😅 I started it this morning and well... 😐

In The Blood || 3375 Words || CW: Injury, blood, villain death

Inuyasha groaned, cursing the way his vision blurred for a moment. He had to pull it together, and fast. Kagome was depending on him. As it was, she was fussing over him, trying to bind his shoulder so it would stop bleeding everywhere and to stabilize the joint a little. “A sword! In this day and age!” She was ranting at an inconsistent volume, sometimes mumbling, sometimes stage whispering loudly in his ear. She knew to keep quiet so as not to give away their position, but she was obviously upset.

“They’re youkai, Kagome. They don’t give… ah… a shit about modern social conventions.” He gasped as she cinched the makeshift bandage particularly tight to add compression to the wound. While grateful for her help, and that she knew what to do, he hated that she was so proficient at it. He was supposed to be strong enough not to need tending, but it had happened enough times in his tenure as her personal guard that it had become old hat to her at this point.

That didn’t mean he didn’t get an earful about it every single time.

“You really should be…” he grunted as he shifted against the wall, twisting his ears to listen for any pursuers, “making a run for it. While you can. I don’t know how long it’ll be before they recover enough to follow.”

She huffed at him. “I’m not leaving you here to die.”

“It’s my job to die for you if it means you are safe,” he reminded her. Except it was far more than his job at this point. His very being thrummed with the need to make sure she was safe. Which really made him want to move, to get her to safety, but his body just couldn’t cooperate yet.

Kagome barely restrained herself from punching him in the shoulder. “You're not paid enough to die,” she reminded him, trying to sound lighthearted. Inuyasha could hear the tremble in her voice, smell the tears collecting in her eyes. He caught her cheek, turning her toward him.

"Sometimes it's not about the money."

She sucked in a breath, swallowing a sob. He both loved and hated that she was trying so hard to be brave for his sake. It spoke to who she was, strong and kind. But it broke his heart that he was so weak that they were in this situation now. “You idiot,” she breathed.

Inuyasha froze when her lips found his unsuspecting. Her breath was soft, shaky, but he could feel the conviction behind it. Why? echoed in his brain, rattling around in his skull. So stunned by her kiss, it didn’t truly register that it was happening until it was over.

He didn’t miss the embarrassment that flickered on her face, but was quickly squashed by a serious frown. “Can you stand at least? I think I can get to a car.”

“Kagome…”

“I remember how to hotwire it and I can pull it up so you can get in.” Inuyasha growled. “Then we can get out of here and…”

“Kagome!” She jolted, turning to look at him. She was wide eyed and a little pale. Inuyasha never wanted her to look at him like that again. She was just close enough that he could tug her shirt, pulling her off balance and into his lap. He tucked her head under his chin, his good arm looping around her shoulders to hold her against him. “Just give me a little more time. I’ll be ready soon.” She nodded.

Inuyasha wasn’t sure how long they sat there in silence, the cold concrete of the parking garage pillar against his back. His ears were constantly on a swivel, listening for any sign that they’d been found by the youkai out to destroy the one geneticist who could finally make it so youkai didn’t outlive their human partners by centuries. Or lose them to illness or injury. A discovery that harmed no one had become the source of a spattering of rallies and attempts to get her lab shut down.

Inuyasha didn’t understand why it infuriated them so much. It would benefit so many. Even other youkai who were not as long-lived! It was rare, but hanyou with youkai partners could stay with their mates as well. There were too many youkai that had withered away after the loss of their mates to ignore the benefit to youkai. Their numbers weren’t exactly growing exponentially… 

A few of the more vocal rabble rousers had been screaming about human vampires stealing their blood, but he had discounted them as anti-science misanthropes. The kinds of people who refused to actually read what the science said, or even attempt to understand it.

Today they learned the hard way that some were willing to take it further than yelling…

In hindsight, the press conference to try to clear up misunderstandings had been a mistake. It had given the enemy a chance to corner them out in public with advanced notice of when and where she would be. The lab had organized a relatively small crowd of journalists, not wanting to overwhelm Kagome. She was a scientist, not a public figure. She was a better speaker than one might have guessed, and she handled all the questions accurately and gracefully. It wasn’t until the end when they were leaving that disaster struck.

Fortunately, the attackers hadn’t expected a hanyou bodyguard.

Unfortunately for Inuyasha, one of them carried a sword and knew how to use it.

He managed to beat them off, incapacitate them just enough that he’d been able to scoop Kagome up and make a run for it. After leaping several tall buildings in more than a few bounds, he’d lost too much blood to keep going, forcing him to find a place to hide them until he could recoup some strength.

The itchiness woke him, startling him when he couldn’t recall having drifted off. The soft hands against his chest soothed him enough to keep from jumping up, looking around wildly. “It’s ok. We’re ok,” she whispered. She was still in his lap, still curled against his chest, whispering soothingly to calm his racing heart. “There’s an access door over there. I think I can get it open.”

“How long have you been thinking about that?” He took in a sharp breath as the itching became nearly unbearable. Good, it’s healing. “How long have I been out?”

“Only about twenty minutes, really.” He frowned. That was a lie, but he wasn’t going to call her on it. “Are you alright if I…”

“I can move now, I think,” he murmured, gently shifting her off his lap and taking a minute to press his fingers to the wound to try to lessen the itch. There was only minor discomfort instead of pain now, a dramatic improvement, but he could tell that if he tried to use the arm too much, it would reopen the stab wound. His next goal was to get on his feet at least, a feat in itself, but he managed it without swaying. Mostly.

“Are you sure?” Kagome asked, her lower lip caught anxiously in her teeth. He nodded, then took several steps, making sure they didn’t echo on the concrete. “This way,” she breathed, hesitating before taking hold of his good hand. Inuyasha winced that she was suddenly so wary of him, but he understood.

He realized that she’d taken her heels off and stuffed them in her purse, now walking in her bare feet to make her steps as silent as possible. He wanted to lift her, keep her from potentially hurting herself… but he just couldn’t trust that shoulder yet. 

The door was old, but it was clearly a security access. Which meant a phone.

Benefit of concrete structure: sturdy, blocked scents, muffled youki.

Drawback: Really, really, bad cell service.

Kagome found a small section of pipe near the stairwell and handed it over, Inuyasha using the leverage to pry open the door. There was an ungodly screech of rusted metal bending, but the lock popped in response to Inuyasha's inhuman strength. Grimacing at the racket, he ushered Kagome into the relatively small room, pulling the door shut behind them. It was dark and the lights didn’t work. Inuyasha was beginning to fear any phone they might find might not either.

He covered his eyes reflexively when a light popped up. “Phone’s good for something at least,” Kagome murmured. Shining it around the space, she made a small sound of triumph when she spotted a phone handset in the corner. She was quick to pick it up, sighing in relief when the distinct sound of a dial tone filled their ears. The line ringing was like music and Miroku’s voice on the other end sounded heavenly. “Yes, we’re ok. Mostly. Well…” She glanced at him. Inuyasha gave her a look, wiggling his ears at her. Can hear every word. She sighed, then told him the building address where they were, going off of the information on the dusty old business cards on the desk. “We don’t know where they are, but they haven’t found us yet.” Miroku was silent for a long moment before conveying that the team would be there to pick them up within ten minutes. “We’re on the fourth level down. Can you… Yes I know but… Miroku, we’re lucky he’s standing.”

Inuyasha snarled at that. “I can get us to street level.”

“Inuyasha…”

“I can do that. I wouldn’t risk it if I couldn’t do it.”

Kagome sighed. “Alright. I’m trusting you.”

His golden eyes flashed. “Better be.”

She stayed on with Miroku as long as they could to make sure everything was going to plan until they needed to make their way up. The garage was still silent aside from the occasional drip of condensation from a ventilation unit and the small amount of outside noise that drifted down through the central spiral. Inuyasha insisted on going first, keeping her close at his back so she was behind him.

The warmer air from outside was just barely tangible once they reached the second floor down, the humidity feeling a little sickly. Inuyasha slowed his steps at the sound of something moving, as if shifting through paper. Kagome grabbed the back of his shirt and he lightly gripped her arm to pull her around to his front.

Not a moment too soon as a tail the size of a firehose came flying at them from over the sidewall of the ramp above.

Biting back a yelp, Inuyasha hauled Kagome off her feet into his arms and leapt out of the way. There wasn’t much room to move, and they weren’t high enough in the structure for there to be openings for him to escape through. Damned underground garage!

“You are trapped. Give usss the woman and you live, hanyou.” The sound of what they now knew to be scales over concrete made Kagome shiver in fear. “Ssshe will bleed usss all dry. Even you.” Inuyasha only held her closer.

“The fact that you refuse to understand the science is only part of why you’re stupid!” The snake didn’t take kindly to that, rearing up and hissing at them, baring its fangs. Inuyasha just barely tucked them out of the way as it lunged at them, ready to strike. He needed to get further up the ramp, get them closer to the team coming for them so he could at least pass Kagome off to friendly hands. He got them halfway to the spiral before the stomping of feet stopped him in his tracks. The distinct sound of metal scraping against the concrete made his ears flip back in discomfort.

The damned sword again… Kagome whimpered, turning toward him and instinctively covering his injured shoulder with her hand. “Got off light the first time, dog. Won’t make that mistake twice.” This youkai was more human in appearance and Inuyasha got the feeling he was some form of cursed-human-turned-youkai. Perhaps a warrior who went too far and was overtaken. It was a lot more common in centuries past but, as Kagome said before, in this day and age?

“Keh. You’re just pissed I got the best of both of you.”

The youkai grinned, baring sharpened teeth. “I considered letting you live to wallow in your failure after killing the scientist bitch, but now… I don’t care.” The change in his tone was all the warning Inuyasha got before the youkai was in motion, faster than expected, and his leap to the side went awry. Kagome tumbled from his hold, yelping in surprise as much as pain. Inuyasha felt the heat of blood bloom on his chest. His shoulder screamed as he scrambled to get up, tried to get to Kagome. But the youkai was there, slicing at him so that he had to dance out of the way, putting more distance between he and Kagome. Inuyasha snarled.

“Behind!” Kagome’s call gave him just enough warning to elude the snake trying to lunge for his back, leaping up and catching hold of a pipe and swinging out of the way. The snake couldn’t stop its momentum, sending it headfirst into the blade of its comrade who seemed to hold no regard for his compatriot.

“Stupid,” the blade-wielding youkai spat, flicking the blood onto the concrete and stepping over the snake now still on the ground. Inuyasha used his swing to his advantage, piking himself over the youkai’s head as he tried to take a swipe at him and took off toward Kagome.

“Move!” he commanded her, yanking her into his side as he continued up the ramp. The other youkai was not all that far behind, his heavy breathing and deranged laughter ringing in the echoey space. He wasn’t as fast over longer distances, the strategic part of Inuyasha’s mind noted. “No wonder you lost us before. Stupid and slow!” Part of him hoped the rage would cause the youkai to make a mistake. One he could take advantage of…

“Maybe don’t antagonize the asshole getting ready to swing a sword at you, Moron,” came a voice from above. Inuyasha didn’t believe in angels, and definitely not in the form of mangy wolves, but Kouga’s voice was a godsend.

“Take her, Dipshit!” Despite their banter, Kouga didn’t hesitate to leap down, landing lightly and scooping up Kagome on the fly. She squealed at the sudden change of pace, her eyes wide and face pale over Kouga’s shoulder as the distance between them increased. Inuyasha forced his eyes away from her and increased his speed just enough to outrun the youkai at his heels. He needed a better way to disarm his opponent. He couldn't move fast enough to knock him out the way he had before. Certainly not without getting another hole in his person for his trouble. As it was, his right arm was practically useless.

The blood isn't, the thought came unbidden. 

Inuyasha glanced around, wondering if he was beginning to lose it from blood loss. 

Blades of Blood. It was a command and one he seemed inclined to obey. 

Without realizing, his left hand plunged his claws into his own wound. He rotated, continuing his backward momentum while flinging the blood coating his fingers toward the gnashing face of his pursuer. The youkai howled in pain, slowing to a stop and dropping the sword to the ground with a clatter. Inuyasha was stunned… But not as stunned as when he slammed backward into the sidewall of the ramp and knocked the wind out of himself.

He almost went over too, and would have had a hand not shot out to catch his torn and bloodied shirt. “Miss Kagome will be very upset if you fall, you know.”

“Y-Yea,” he rasped. Pretty sure there’s a broken rib or four in there… “Thanks, Jinenji.” The much larger hanyou nodded his head, hefting Inuyasha up and onto the next level of the ramp one handed. The youkai who had been chasing them was still screaming his rage, but Inuyasha saw the tail end of a black coat disappear around the corner.

A moment later and the youkai was silent.

Miroku wouldn’t kill him… probably. Tempting as it might be when he had ambushed them, tried to kill them both, and even killed his own partner. They needed information, and Miroku was very, very, good at getting it.

Sniffling sobs met his ears when he was able to focus again, grimacing when a soft weight collided with his side. “Inuyasha!” Her eyes were scrunched closed and she had a reddened scrape across her cheek and forehead. But she was one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen. She was alive, and mostly unharmed. “Now I have to wrap you up all over again!”

Inuyasha let out a weak laugh. Definitely a few broken ribs. “You can wrap me up as many times as you want.” He fought back a grin at the annoyed look on her face. “I know, I know, you wouldn’t have to if I was more careful.”

“Can you move?” Miroku’s voice asked distractedly. His eyes were on the bound youkai being carried out of the parking structure by Jinenji and Kouga, the wolf bitching the whole way about having to deal with a lowlife like this.

“Give me a few minutes?” The monk nodded, peeling off his coat and tossing it to Kagome. She rolled it up and put it under his head, pulling the last of her button down shirt from her purse to rip into skinny strips. “There’s a kit in the van, you know.”

“I’m worried you’re gonna leak out all over the floor before I can get to it,” she sucked in a sharp breath, trying admirably to pull herself together.

“Kagome?” She bit her lips, focusing on her task. “Hey, Kagome,” he said a little more softly.

Finally she let her eyes meet his. He winced as he reached across with his left hand to cup her cheek, bringing her face toward his as he stretched up as much as his position would allow. It was soft, and only a moment, but the press of their lips was exactly the reassurance they both needed. “Oh…”

“Hm. Next time, let’s try it without the near-death experiences, ok?”

She blinked at him, then rolled her eyes, laughing softly.

“Only if you promise to quit trying to die on me,” she scolded. Inuyasha smirked as he opened his mouth to tease her about liking him in this position because it meant she got to baby him, but was cut off by the clearing of a very large throat.

“The perpetrator is under control and the others are ready to leave.”

“Oh. Yes. We’re coming, Jinenji.”

“Miroku has requested that I ‘carry his ass like a baby’ if I have to.” He looked distinctly uncomfortable at the obvious order to repeat what the monk had said exactly. “I really do not want to…”

“Nah. I might need help to my feet, but after that, I’m good,” he confessed. Had the wolf been there, there was no way he would have admitted to that, but current company wouldn’t give him a hard time about it. Jinenji waited for Kagome to finish wrapping his shoulder before offering him a hand up. He had to swallow a yelp when his ribs and shoulder both protested. Loudly. But at least he was upright again. The three made their way the rest of the way up the ramp and to the waiting van, Inuyasha accepting a little more help to get in than he would have liked. Fortunately, Kouga kept his trap shut.

“First stop, holding cell, second stop, hospital!” Miroku called jovially from the driver’s seat. Inuyasha rolled his eyes and groaned, but didn’t argue. Kagome would lecture him about the risks he would be taking for misaligned bone growth or bacterial infections or punctured lungs… He’d happily listen to all of it for the sound of her voice, but he’d rather she do it after she was seen to at the hospital.

Then he could relax and listen to her all day.

Or forever. That’d be fine too.

[clangenrising]

Month 14 - Newleaf

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Goldenstar felt like everything was moving both extremely fast and excruciatingly slow. Time was slipping through her paws, racing towards an inevitable confrontation with Razor and his Rogues but somehow, most days, she looked around only to realize she had nothing to do that day but sit around. It was maddening, like a dream where she was being chased but couldn’t go anywhere. 

She’d gone to see StarClan, seeking guidance for what to do to help Songdust. The results had been inconclusive. Apparently no one knew where she was. Smokyrose, looking lovely with her starry coat and more energized than Goldenstar had seen her in a long time, had explained that she and several others had been looking nonstop to no success. Poppyblaze insisted she wasn’t dead but didn’t have any clue where she was either. Some cats were starting to give up on her. Goldenstar promised Smokyrose she wouldn’t be one of them but that still didn’t leave her with a good idea of what to do.

Thankfully, Mystique hadn’t been causing any trouble. At her request, Goldenstar had allowed her to start training cats in combat - under Russetfrond’s supervision of course. She wasn’t a great teacher but she was a good fighter and Goldenstar had watched Floodpaw drift from total distrust and contempt to secret admiration for the kittypet. He didn’t even get mad when he lost a duel, he just got back up and demanded to go again until he was better. Goldenstar was proud of him. It wouldn’t be long until he and his littermates were ready to be warriors. 

Before that, though, she was going to have to apprentice Slatekit and Fogkit. Poppybird was still coming by to check on them every so often, which Goldenstar was very grateful for. Thanks to her, Fogkit had come back out of her shell and was once again dragging her sister on adventures around the camp. Goldenstar had asked Poppybird what she thought about them, if they seemed to be leaning towards an apprenticeship as a healer or a mediator but Poppybird said they both seemed pretty eager to be warrior apprentices and so Goldenstar had started trying to pick out good mentors for them. 

She had been considering Ospreymask for Fogkit but according to Poppybird, Fogkit had disliked her ever since she delivered the news of Smokyrose’s death, which was a shame. Slatekit seemed to need someone who was going to be extremely supportive, and Goldenstar had a few cats in mind, but Fogkit was going to need someone who could handle her rambunctious spirit, especially given how much time she had been trying to spend with Floodpaw lately. Goldenstar was at least grateful that Floodpaw seemed to have warmed up to the idea of hanging out with her. She had seen him teaching her some of the tricks he’d learned from Mystique and while she thought he tended to play a bit too rough, Fogkit seemed to enjoy it and that was what mattered. 

Still, she wasn’t sure about a good mentor. She sat atop the Stoneperch, tail twitching, and puzzled over the different possible combinations. She was so deep in thought she didn’t notice Scorchplume had padded up beside her until she spoke.

“Busy?” asked Scorch with a slight tilt of her head. 

Goldenstar flinched and hurried to recover. “Huh? Oh, uh, no not really. What’s up?”

“I wanted to go out past the eastern border, take a look around,” Scorch said flatly. “I thought you might accompany me.” Goldenstar swallowed. She still hadn’t been able to persuade Scorch to stay and the dread of losing her again twisted in her gut like a pit of snakes. 

“Sure,” she smiled, hoping it was convincing. “Why not?” 

Scorch smiled in return. “Great. Let’s go.” 

Goldenstar stood and followed Scorch’s lead, feeling distant. She wished she could lean her head on Scorch’s shoulder and twine their tails as they walked, she ached for that closeness, but she still didn’t know where they stood. Scorch had been so reclusive since her return. She did her duties and then spent her time alone, like she didn’t want anything to do with anyone. Goldenstar wondered if she still resented her for the fight they had been having when she was taken. But then, out of the blue, she asked to go walking? Goldenstar was lost and confused. 

“I hope you’ve been doing alright,” she tried. Scorch glanced over at her. 

“I suppose so. As alright as you can be knowing an army could march on your home any day.” It may have been foolish, but Goldenstar brightened upon hearing Scorch call the Clan her home. That was a good sign. 

“Yeah,” she hummed. “It isn’t great. Have you been training with Mystique at all?”

Scorch scoffed. “No. I’d be satisfied if I never saw her again.” 

“Really?” Goldenstar asked. “I thought you two got along.” 

“As well as I get along with anyone,” Scorch huffed and Goldenstar frowned. “She’s nice enough but I want nothing to do with her. You wouldn’t understand.” She swished her beautiful tail as if to put an end to the conversation.

“Try me,” said Goldenstar. Scorch frowned at her and then sighed. 

“Fine. Razor basically made her my prison guard. I couldn’t go anywhere without her watching me. She’s not stupid. I know she saw through my happy-little-mate act but she never did anything to help me. I can’t forgive her for that.” Goldenstar listened, nodded to herself, and hummed thoughtfully. 

“I see…” she said. “That sucks. I’m really sorry, Scorch.” 

“What for?” Scorch snapped.

“That you had to go though that?” Goldenstar shrugged. “I’m not, like, guilty-sorry, just… sympathetic.” Scorch opened her mouth then hesitated. Her gaze flickered to the ground for a beat before she lifted her head confidently.

“Hm. I half expected a lecture about how I ought to forgive her.” 

“No, you totally don’t have to,” Goldenstar said. “It would be super unfair to say that.” 

“Hm,” Scorch said again. She focused on the path ahead of them again and Goldenstar squirmed in worry. Was she mad? 

“Uh, hey,” she said, hopping a step forward to catch up with Scorch’s strides, “I wanted to say, uh… I’m sorry. I never got to apologize for the fight we had.” She swallowed, the snakes in her gut twisting more violently. “It’s my fault you got caught. I’m really sorry that I was pushing you so much and that I didn’t get back in time.”

Scorch looked over at her, face nearly mournful, and said, “It’s fine. I knew you wouldn’t get back in time.” 

“Wait, what?” Goldenstar’s steps faltered for a second.

“The twolegs are always nearby when they use those traps,” said Scorch. “They got to me just after you left. I just didn’t want you to get caught too.” 

Goldenstar didn’t know how to feel. “Oh. Okay. Well, I’m sorry for the other stuff at least.” 

“It’s fine,” Scorch sighed again. “I was being stupid anyway. Can we just forget it? I hate it when you get all sorry and nervous.” That didn’t help to alleviate Goldenstar’s nerves. 

“Okay,” she said, catching up. “Whatever you want, Scorch.” 

“Ugh,” Scorch groaned. 

“Sorry,” Goldenstar laughed nervously, “I didn’t mean it like that. Just, like, ‘okay, sounds good.’” Scorch’s tail lashed a little. 

“You’re doing it again. You were doing this that day too! You keep doing that breathy little laugh and treading on eggshells like you’ve got no spine! What happened?” 

Goldenstar swallowed. She’d realized she was in love is what happened but she couldn’t just say that could she? What if Scorch balked and left? Well, she was already planning on leaving… Goldenstar chewed her lip for a second, gathered her courage, and took a leap of faith. 

“Well… Okay, this might sound weird, and don’t feel like you owe me any kind of response but, uh, that night you disappeared and came back late?”

“Yeah,” Scorch prompted. 

“Well, when you came back I realized that I uh…” This was the hard part. No turning back! she thought. “I realized I have, uh, feelings for you.” 

Scorch stopped walking. “Oh.” 

“Yeah,” Goldenstar laughed. “I’m sorry, I’m trying not to be weird, I just- I like you so much, I don’t want to ruin anything.” She shuffled her paws, not sure how to stand.

“Oh, please,” Scorch huffed. “If anything you’re ruining things by being so worried! Just be yourself, Goldie, that’s what I like.” That turned the snakes in her stomach to butterflies. 

“You- you do?” 

Scorch groaned loudly as she tilted her face skyward. “Yes, Goldie, I like you. Do I like you like that? I…” her exasperation softened and she looked away over her far shoulder. “I don’t know. I don’t really have room for that kind of thing in my life. Besides, I’m not interested in… in doing anything or-” 

“Oh, you don’t have to!” Goldenstar blurted. “I mean, if you did feel the same, I still wouldn’t expect anything like that or- or anything at all!” 

“Everyone has expectations,” Scorch glared. 

“O-okay,” Goldenstar laughed. “Fair, but I mean like… If you didn’t want to do something I wouldn’t pressure you to. I mostly just want to like… twine tails and share a nest and stuff like that…” It wasn’t like she would say no to something more… exciting, but she had always cared more about the person than any one part of a relationship. That was part of the reason she’d gone her whole life without any kind of serious partner, it just hadn’t been important enough for her to compromise on the ‘who’ in order to get the ‘what’. 

Scorch was still, her expression nigh unreadable but definitely skeptical. Goldenstar wanted to squirm but she forced herself to breathe slowly and calmly. She waited for Scorch to speak and tried to look as open as possible. 

“Let me get this straight,” said Scorch slowly. “The only thing you want… is to do cutesy garbage together?” 

Goldenstar blushed. “I guess you could say that, yeah,” she laughed. “I’d be open to other stuff but I’d be totally satisfied if that was all. But like, you can also say no, I totally understand.” Scorch sized her up for another moment.

“Alright,” Scorch said, turning to face Goldenstar directly and unfurling her tail up above her back, “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try so here are my conditions.” Goldenstar gulped and nodded, standing equally straight. “One: I refuse to use any kind of labels and definitely no sappy pet names like sweetie or anything, got it?” 

Goldenstar nodded again, “Got it.” She couldn’t believe what was happening.

“Two:” Scorch continued, tail starting to swish. “There will be absolutely no sexual advances of any kind.” 

“Of course,” Goldenstar said immediately.

“Three: This is a temporary arrangement. When I leave, that’s that, assuming you’re still determined to stay here despite my warnings.” 

Goldenstar pursed her lips. “Alright,” she said, hesitantly. “I still think you should stay, but, like, obviously you can end this… arrangement, I guess, whenever you want.” She thought but didn’t say, Even if I’ll probably die. 

“Good,” Scorch said firmly. She shifted slightly, like a bird ruffling its feathers, and let out a small breath. “‘Cause I’m not staying. I’m not letting Razor get another chance to take me back there.” She turned and started walking towards the border again. Goldenstar followed, feeling bright and bubbly and lonesome at the same time. 

“I understand,” she said sadly. “Is there anything I could do to change your mind?” 

Scorch hummed in thought. “If Razor were dead then we could talk.”

“Okay,” Goldenstar’s mind was turning. “How would we do that?”

“I don’t know,” Scorch said, “That’s why I’m leaving.” 

Goldenstar sighed, ears drooping. Scorch looked over and, after a beat of hesitation, wound her tail around Goldenstar’s. The action sent affection flooding through Goldenstar’s body and she leaned in to rest her head on Scorch’s shoulder, a small purr rumbling in her chest. Scorch stiffened slightly but eased into the gesture. Goldenstar’s heart soared. 

“We’ll think of something,” she said. “I’m gonna do everything I can to keep people safe. I’m not giving up yet.” 

“It’s not giving up to run away,” said Scorch. “It’s just a different strategy.” 

“I guess,” Goldenstar hummed. “It’s just that these territories, this land, it has a lot of significance and meaning to us. It’s just as much a part of the Clan as any member. I don’t want to lose that.” 

“Better than losing your lives,” said Scorch.

“I know,” said Goldenstar, taking a deep breath as she closed her eyes and let Scorch lead her along. “If it comes to it, I will leave if we have to. But I wanna try a few other things first.” 

“Well, it will be good to take a look at what’s beyond the border in any case,” said Scorch. 

“Yeah, I agree,” said Goldenstar. She opened her eyes and looked up at Scorch’s perfect blue ones and smiled. At least for now, she could imagine that this was a romantic little adventure to some place new. 

Scorch raised an eyebrow at her. “Goldie, are you going to stare at me like that all the time now?” 

“Maybe,” Goldenstar laughed. “Is it bad?”

“No, you just look ridiculous,” said Scorch, a touch of a humorous smile on her face. 

“What can I say,” Goldenstar sighed dramatically, “I’m ridiculously in love with you.” 

“No,” Scorch said, suddenly detaching herself from their little embrace, fast enough to make Goldenstar stumble. “No you aren’t.”

“Aww, is that not allowed?” she pouted playfully even though her heart sank.

“Yep,” said Scorch, “Rule Four: We are not using that word.” 

Goldenstar thought it sounded like Scorch might be joking but she couldn’t tell and she didn’t want to push so she just sighed and said, “Alright… Can I at least say I think you’re beautiful?”

“Hmm,” Scorch glanced over her shoulder. “Yes. Do that.” She smirked and swished her tail - definitely playing. 

“Scorchplume,” Goldenstar purred sweetly, “you are intensely beautiful. Seriously, your eyes, your fur, your voice, all of it. You take my breath away.” 

Scorchplume rolled her eyes. “You’re too soft, Goldie.” 

“If adoring every bit of you is soft then that’s fine with me,” said Goldenstar moving back in to twine tails with her. Scorch made a noncommittal noise and fell silent. Goldenstar was happy to just enjoy her presence. 

They made their way to the border then out past the territories into the wider prairie. Here, wildflowers grew in thick patches and the grass was sparser and dryer. They found a short, wide little tree and scaled it to get a look at the surrounding area. 

“Looks like a desert out there,” Scorch hummed. Goldenstar chewed her lip in thought. She’d heard old stories about deserts before but the concept still seemed alien to her, like a mystical land of suffering designed to try the cats who dared to wander across it. 

“There’s bound to be coyotes out there,” she said, mostly to herself. “Not somewhere I would want to raise kits.” 

“It’s not ideal for me either,” said Scorch. “But surely there’s something past it.”

“Maybe,” Goldenstar shrugged. “You could ask Oddstripe. He came from out this way, remember?”

“That’s right,” Scorchplume muttered under her breath. There was a storm of thoughts behind her eyes. Goldenstar pictured it rolling out across the desert and pouring much needed rain on the scraggly wildflowers and parched earth. She imagined letting that rain soak her to the skin and thought that she wouldn’t mind at all. 

Scorch leapt down to the ground and started back towards the territories. “Maybe I’ll have to see about the lake over the mountains then,” she said. 

“Or,” suggested Goldenstar, leaping down beside her, “you could stay and help us figure out how to beat Razor.” 

“No, I don’t think so,” said Scorchplume curtly. 

“Hear me out,” Goldenstar said, her own thoughts coalescing into rain clouds. She thought back to what Scorch had taught her about speechcraft and came up with a plan. “You hate him more than anyone and with good reason. On your own, there’s nothing you can do to stop him but I have a whole Clan, several Clans even, full of warriors who would gladly sink their claws into him.” Scorch hummed, unconvinced, and Goldenstar quickly continued. “You’re incredibly smart and you have first hand experience with his operation. You could teach us the best way to beat him and then we would do it. You wouldn’t even have to get close to him. Just tell us what to do and we’ll take all the risk ourselves. You’d be saving countless cats and securing your own safety all in one go.” 

“You make a compelling argument,” Scorchplume said slowly. Her eyes were narrowed, calculating. Goldenstar held her breath and tried to maintain her casual facade. This was probably the highest stakes conversation she’d had in weeks and she wasn’t about to ruin it by looking too desperate.

Scorch stewed for a few moments then said, “Alright fine. We can give it a try.” 

“Yes!” Goldenstar cried, butting her head joyously into Scorch’s side. So much for not looking desperate. “Thank you, Scorch!” 

“Don’t thank me too much,” Scorch said. “I might have an idea but it involves using you as bait.” 

Goldenstar smiled, ears perking. “Ooh, tell me.”

“Don’t look so excited,” Scorch huffed poutily. 

“Sorry, I’m just- I am excited. I can’t wait for all of this to be over with so you and I can just be happy together.” 

Scorch’s throat labored as she watched Goldenstar’s face. “Yeah… Me too, I guess.” Goldenstar rammed her with another loving headbutt. That was plenty for her. Visions of a bright and happy future were starting to form in her mind's eye, one where she and Scorch lived in RisingClan together for the rest of their lives, where Scorchplume felt happy and safe and knew just how much Goldenstar loved her. To her, there was no greater thought in the world.

UPDATES: - Goldenstar confessed her feelings to Scorchplume and they have become mates an unofficial no labels kind of thing

[azacat-alias-lost]

Okay so artblock is being a bitch rn but i just had a BRAINBLAST of a crossover au idea

@sinisterspoon you're gonna lose your shit about this

So picture this. The TF2 Red mercs are getting back from yet another fight with Blu, and yknow its the typical banter n stuff. Then, out of NOWHERE, two people crash through their ceiling. One is a large, freckled man with whitening hair and a horribly stained blue sweater, knocked out cold. The other is a thin, dark-skinned man with salt and pepper hair and oh my god thats a lot of eyes. Holy shit. And they're all open. Dazed, unconscious, but open. He also has a stab wound that is healing unnaturally fast.

Medic is like "Well we should probably make sure they don't die" And so he does. He takes them into his clinic and is going to heal them, and maayyybe do a few experiments along the way. But before he can even make the first incision (he chose the smaller guy), the man's hand shoots up and grabs his wrist. In a voice tinged with the static of a tape recorder, he whispers..

"Where am I? I Know for a fact this isn't London"

Eventually, they both wake up, recover, etc. The Mercs are very intrigued as to where they came from, y'know with falling out of the sky and all. As they hang around each other more, it becomes exceedingly clear that they are Not Human. Fog, Knowing, the way the cameras move to watch them... Heavy is the first to point it out, and Engie is the first to confront them directly.

The Magnus Institute, London. The Fears. The Apocalypse.

Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood are sitting at the table with 9 unrealized avatars of the Slaughter.

What do they do? Well naturally, they ask the two to help in the Gravel Wars. They give them gear, test their abilities, and train them in combat. They connect them to the respawn machine, and familiarize them with the proceedings. The first (and only) time Medic tries to experiment on Jon, he nearly bites his arm off. Yeah, the end of the world kinda made him feral.

And so two new Mercs are created.

JONATHAN SIMS: THE INTEL - The Intel can certainly fight, although their damage is very weak. Mostly specializing in overseeing the battlefield, they give information and locations to members of their team. They have a spot on the map that they can go to view cameras, picking off Spies and warning of Snipers and Engineer's turrets. In this zone, they cannot be harmed, but no one else is able to get in range to be harmed by them. They also have the ability, (once per game) to pick one person on the enemy team and just absolutely obliterate them. Smite them, if you will.

MARTIN BLACKWOOD: THE WISP - A master of stealth, the Wisp has the ability to float around the battlefield like a cloud of mist. Just barely visible, they can hide in almost any place. The moment they materialize to fight, however, they become vulnerable. Extremely vulnerable. Their damage hits like a tank, but their defense is very poor. After materializing, they have a cooldown before they can turn to mist again. Their weapon of choice is a damage-heavy knife, much sturdier and more jagged than Spy's switchblade.

This is NOT what they thought their Somewhere Else would be like. But hell, it beats being stuck at the Supernatural Horror Collecting Factory.

"Where you go, I go."

"Always."

Anyway, please let me know what you think!! This has been rotating in my mind for a little bit and might be the best crossover I've ever come up with

[rafedaddy01]

BIRTHDAY SEX WITH RAFE

dndjdndjdnxndnd

Notes: sorry I’m taking so long with the requests

Not proof read

“Happy Birthday” you say as you drop the trench coat to reveal the lingerie you were wearing.

Rafe had been sitting in his study doing some work when you entered.

His arms flexed as he pushed himself away from the desk and leaned back into his chair, a sly smirk on his face as his eyes skimmed over your body.

You walked up and he moved to give you more room.

“Let’s play a game” you said dropping down to your knees.

“If you don’t touch me until you cum, then I’ll do whatever you want me to”

Rafes eyebrow raised, intrigued.

“And I do lose?” He asked, his signature smirk returning.

“Then you have to do whatever I say”

Your hands snaked up his thighs and reached for his belt buckle before pulling the zipper down and pulling out his hard cock.

“Deal” Rafe put his arms up and watched as you locked up the base to his tip, all while keeping eye contact.

He continued to smile at you, hands away, while you sucked his angry red tip and pushed more of him in.

“Fuck” he groaned.

You looked up to see his head thrown back and his hands on the arms rest of the chair.

You smiled as much as you could and continued your work.

Bobbing up and down and inching more of him in u til he hit the back of your throat, triggering you gag reflex. Saliva and tears mixed as you continued bobbing.

“Just like that, fuck, keep going baby. Doing so good f’me.”

You realized he didn’t need to touch you, his words were enough, he was gonna win.

You felt his tip contracted before you throat filled with his sticky, hot cum.

Immediately his hands came to your hair, gripping and pulling as you yanked you up to him.

“I win” he said breathlessly.

You smiled as you kissed him.

Both your lips stayed tangled for a moment before he slapped you ass and you yelped.

“On the couch, face down” he bit your bottom lip before you stood up and followed his instructions.

You felt him behind you as his hand skimmed up the back of your thigh and connected with your clothed pussy, a wet patch evident.

“Tsk, this wet from blowing me off? Naughty girl”

Rafe yanked down your panties and slapped your naked ass once more before instructing you to turn around.

He removed your bra and sucked on your nipples.

You moaned as your hands flew to his hair, he quickly pulled back.

“Not so fast”

He walked back over to his desk and retrieved some papers before retiring back to you.

“This is my speech for the business meeting next week, read it. If you stop at any moment, I will too”

He smirked as you took the papers and scanned them over.

“Rafe I-“

Before you could continue you felt his fingers toying with you clit, causing a moan to escape your throat.

He pulled back and nodded his head for you to start reading.

With a sigh you read, “Ladies and gentlemen..”

His fingers started rubbing your clit and you tried to focus on the words but every action of his made you falter, causing him to pull away.

“You can do it princess”

You started reading again, this time making it a decent way through as his fingers pumped inside of you.

“And that con-“ you breath caught as he hit a particularly deep spot inside you, but once you froze he did too.

You took a deep breath and continued, “and that concludes todays meeting, tha-thank you!” You screamed the final words had you release hit you like a truck.

Liquid covering the black leather couch and Rafes hand as he pumped a few more times and pulled out.

“Good girl”

Rafe locked his fingers clean before hovering over you to kiss you.

“Thank you for the birthday surprise” he tugged you bottom lip between his teeth before winking and walking back to his desk.

You lay there, exhausted, as you recovered from the painfully pleasurable orgasm you just had.

@f4ll-for-you @v21sstuff @rafeysworldim19 @baby19sthings @sevenwivesofrafecameron @rxfecameronsslut @findapenny @r1vrsefx @spencerreidsrealgf @rafescokenostril @thievin-stealing

[6okuto]

YOUR TOUCHSTARVED HCS ARE GOD TIER I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU CAPTURED THEM SO WELL WITH JUST THE DEMO

If you want, could I ask for some with Vere and Kuras?? I feel in love with them in the demo and am in desperate need of more toushstarved content

GENERAL KURAS HCS

gn!reader | ?!!?!! GIGGLES..THANK U THANK U a girl never shares her secrets 😍🤫😘 jk ive shared characterization tips at Some point. KURAS TIME!!! ;3c

has a sense of humour where if you say something silly he Does find it amusing,, he just has a calm + direct demeanor. "can i climb you like a tree" > he blinks because he's caught off guard but smiles anyway. says you could definitely try, but he thinks it might be more effective to just pick you up, no?

the Look the others give him when he says a joke You often say that just...does not match him at all. awesome

he'd get you flowers. not in a bouquet of red roses way but in an i checked the meanings of all of these and personalized it to have your favourite colours and what you mean to me. i'll either explain to you the most devastating story of eternal love and our souls being intertwined or look at you and go :) who's to say what it means? and let you figure it out

next level putting things high up so you have to ask him for help. doesn't try to hide his amusement at all. "odd how it ended up there." ? Yeah i know right

but seriously if you're on the shorter side and you choose to get a chair instead of asking him he's a little upset. and worried. please don't hurt yourself

very serious if you hurt yourself or get sick. if you want to recover fast, let him take care of you. just know he's going to follow some strict rules to make sure you're healing as efficiently as possible

don't let this guy in the kitchen.... his lack of cooking skills make him very appreciative of any home cooked meals, and he knows some pretty good restaurants to make up for it

go ahead and hold onto kuras if you're stuck in a crowd again. like you Can trust him to not lose you, he meant that. but also he won't stop you from reaching for his hand/arm. asks if you're alright before continuing on

get him to relax by laying his head in your lap while you run your fingers through his hair

never minds bending down to kiss you. you can solve ths problem by getting him to sit down and standing between his legs by the way

forehead kisses are a go to!! and a hand on the small of your back

likes when the both of you talk about how your days went in the evening. i think he likes hearing about drama. he remembers names and stories and if he ever sees the person that pissed you off he's. a Little petty/passive-aggressive. he's really good at making it seem like it's accidental though. LOL

you know when you recommend something to someone and they figure out the big twist or mystery so fast you're like wtf. that's kuras. he pretends he doesn't know, especially the first few times, but eventually you just have to take the opportunity to make it a challenge. how fast can he do it y’know.

? glitter eyeshadow. give it a thought and come back to me.

morning person who gets breakfast for you by the time you're up

giving me words of affirmation and quality time vibes. inviting you out whenever he isn't working and making sure you know you're a priority... casually saying some kind of sincere, poetic praise..

sort of a dry texter but you know what. he's supportive. boyfriend who doesn't know what game you've started and are now incoherently ranting about but does his best to guess and support u. looks up the wiki to read about the characters and plot on his own time

when the game has a secret and kuras Offers a Suggestion. a Guess. and he's right. and ur like OMG :D and he :). pretends he didn't look it up because you told him you were stuck yesterday

[psicadetterra]

Ended up jabbering with my friends about PN stuff. In this post I will talk about Clem and Crystal's deteriorating friendship (and eventual recovery.)

Crystal gives up the project, and for a while, so does Clem. Clem falls back into old habits fairly quickly though. This puts a strain on their friendship. Crystal doesn't want to be like that anymore, and Clem doesn't seem intent to change (he's too deeply entangled in his negativity.) Their friendship reaches its lowest point when they are 14-15. Crystal tries her best to salvage it, but she just can't anymore. They seldom speak or see each other.

Crystal has other friends (Phoebe, Quentin, Misha, and others.) Clem has no one, so he winds up affiliating with other people just as miserable as he is (misery loves company.)

But throughout all of this, despite it all, neither of them truly "hate" each other.

Going off-track a little, I feel like Crystal has known Clem since she first started going to Whispering Rock (let's assume she's seven when she first attends.) I also feel like their friendship was INSTANT, like Crystal mentioned something and Clem was like "no way me too" and bam (lord I'm not implying crystal was like "lol i wanna die" and clem was like "lol same lets be friends" I'm hoping it was something more innocent BUT PROBABLY NOT LOL. It's fucked up to imagine a 7 y/o girl wanting to die IT'S FUCKED UP IMAGINING A 9 Y/O GIRL WANTING TO DIE TOO NOOO MY BABY. I am getting further off track let me reel it back in.)

I am also certain that enduring de-braining and re-braining with your best friend pretty much bonds you for life lol. When you've known someone for so long and went through so much with them, I don't think you could ever truly "hate" them (at least from my experience. this is partly based on my rl friendship and DON'T WORRY we didn't have a suicide pact when we were kids!! we didn't have our brains stolen either.)

I feel like the deep sadness and loneliness Clem feels from losing his best, closest, and ONLY friend is that one thing that finally wakes him up. He misses her. Even if he can't earn back her friendship, he has to TRY and do better. If not for her, then at least for himself.

Thus begins Clem's recovery. When you are at the bottom, the only place you can go is up (although Clem would beg to differ. He says he hit the bottom and kept digging lol.)

Fast forward to about 4-5 years in the future when they are 19-20 years old. They're both in the Psychonauts and they finally speak to each other after so long. I feel like when you're 19-20 the drama from when you're 15 doesn't matter anymore. Clem apologizes to her, and she apologizes to him (she isn't an innocent party, they were both enabling each other.) He doesn't even really expect her to want to be friends again or even accept his apology, but to his surprise, she does. Crystal was afraid that Clem hated her, but this was never true. Even when they were mad and said things they regret, they never genuinely hated each other. They then spend many hours talking and catching up. They've matured and recovered. They are better to each other.

Later, they give dating a shot. It lasts for less than a week. They found it awkward and prefer to just go back to being best friends. Friendship works best for them.

There is continuity in my drawings (have you noticed it?) Crystal still has the Cheer Bear that Clem and Misha gave her for her birthday. Clem assumes that she got rid of it. He is shocked to see she still has it when they become friends again. Even when her friendship with Clem deteriorates and Misha goes missing (that's a story for another time) she never gets rid of it.

To summarize: Clem and Crystal's friendship deteriorates when they still go to Whispering Rock. Once they "graduate" that is the breaking point and they rarely speak to or see each other. They finally reconcile when they are young adults.

[hurtnymph]

just venting

since last year, i have been housebound and for the most part, bedbound. depending on the pain and fatigue amount each day, and how much I exerted the previous day/week/etc, I can be out of bed but still going slowly and leaning against walls or using a cane just to get around my small flat. and I mean from bed to the bathroom and back. the only time I won't be in bed, when i am bedbound, is when i need to force myself to the bathroom. even then on extra bad days i have problems with incontinence. the absolute only times i leave the house are for unavoidable appointments and that is limited to doctor's appointments or dentist appointments. when I am walking outside with my cane, I still need to go slowly and I am in agony the entire time, acutely aware that the next week/month will be spent recovering from less than an hour outside.

I experience similar disproportionate recovery times from emotional and mental exertion, but walking gives me the worst and fastest. when im not fatigued im in pain, and if i don't have one of them I have both.

i am on meds for depression. im on supplements. me and my doctor are trialling pain relief medications. but i don't feel like it's doing anything. I feel like I am constantly waiting for another appointment. Constantly waiting for another doctor to take me seriously this time. Constantly pleading that they will answer my queries about a wheelchair. Even if I am prescribed a wheelchair, it will be a loan and the *average* waiting list time is 3 months. I am struggling to see myself through to the next day. But I'm too tired to even make an attempt on my life. Whenever I try, I fail from dissociating too hard or even anger that it will only make things worse for my family and friends.

I want to live. I want to be part of my community. I want to be a good family member. I want to experience life again. I miss going outside. I miss being spontaneous. I miss moving. Every little movement is agony. I want to be independent. I'm eternally grateful to live with my partner who has taken on the role of my carer, and I believe them when they say they want to do this, but I feel like a chore. My family don't reach out first. I feel like I can't do this longer. I spend 23.5 hours a day in the same spot in my bed. I feel like I've begged several doctors for a temporary wheelchair so many times and it's just been ignored or waved off with "you'll depend on it and lose your muscle mass" - I KNOW. but i am not living right now. i don't even feel like im surviving. i want to be alive again and feel the wind and the cold and the heat. I want to be out of my bed. I want to live. So desperately. I feel so so so so alone. I don't know what to do that I haven't already tried.

my partner has said over and over that if I wouldn't be able to push myself in a chair that they can. it would mean I would be able to see my family, go outside more than once every 3 months for more than 30 minutes at a time that won't be spent in agony. it's the only thing I can think that could help me.

im trialling meds, my doctors have known about this the entire time, I track my symptoms, I try to eat as well as I can, I track what exerts me and how fast, I avoid triggers, I try to put happiness neat the top of my needs. i need external help that isn't locked behind another medical waiting list. i am not in a position to make money. i don't know what to do. i don't know how to live with this for longer.

[coyotestarcraft]

I’d Sacrifice Myself For You Dorks Any Day (Part 2)

Good Omens Imagines

A/N: Sorry it took a while, but it’s finally done! It’s extra long because why not?

Warnings: Cussing, Blood, Injuries, panic attack.

Part 1

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After being discharged from the hospital, you went home to recover.

“Easy love, the couch isn’t going anywhere.” Crowley chuckled at how fast you wanted to go inside and rest.

“He’s right.” The angel smiles.

“Sorry, I just wanna sleep.” Your eyes are drooping already and the boys are concerned you might not make to Crowley’s flat, so instead the demon picks you carrying you all the way up so you don’t hurt yourself.

“Baby goat, you gotta take your medicine before you sleep.” Crowley said, you groaned but took it anyway when it was handed to you.

“Sleep well my love.” Aziraphale softly kissed your cheek as sleep took over.

*Dream*

Shax had come to kill you for meddling with Aziraphale and Crowley.

But you weren’t going to let her just take them away without a fight, the boys tried telling you not to fight her but in the end it wouldn’t matter, your temper was off the charts to be stopped now.

*After Fighting (cause I’m too lazy to write it, sorry)*

You stood on wobbly legs, facing Shax as she stood in front of you with her hands covered in your own blood.

Your face was covered in blood from when she slashed your eye leaving three angry marks dripping in blood, as many cuts and bruises littered your body as well.

“You foolish human, you’ll never amount to anything ever, your just a waste of space.” She snarled with a smirk breaking out on her face.

“FUCK YOU!” You screamed.

She gave you one last chance to surrender but you weren’t losing anyone else, in a desperate attempt to save the boys you lunged at Shax, knocking her off the bridge into the water for her to rot.

The last you heard before passing out “Y/N! Hold on love we’re coming!”

“y/n…” a voice called from somewhere unknown.

“Y/n…”

“Y/N love wake up!” Azira’s voice finally filtered through just enough to startle you awake.

You shot up from your spot on the couch, a loud gasp erupted from you, soon deep, fast breaths left you, a panic attack was happening.

“My love, look at me, it’s okay, your safe.” Aziraphale tried to hug you but it only made you panic more, you flinched at the thought of even being close to anyone.

“Sweetheart, I know your scared, it’s okay, take some deep breaths for me.” Crowley was never this soft, not even with Aziraphale but in the current moment he didn’t care, all he wanted was for you to feel safe and loved.

“I-I c-can’t! I-I cant b-breathe!” You whimper out unable to take in any air, 10 seconds passed until your throat finally starts to open, you gasp for air as you accidentally squeeze your wrists too tight.

“I’m taking your hands so you don’t hurt yourself okay?” Crowley says, you give a shaky nod, slowly taking in air.

“Your doing amazing love, take some more deep slow breaths for me.” The angel smiled, his hand gently moving up and down your back soothingly.

You leaned forward to put your head in the crook of Crowley’s neck, you hiccup as you start to calm down, “there you go baby, we’ve got you.” He cooed.

A few minutes passed when they both heard soft snores coming from you.

Crowley gently layed you down on the couch, covering you back up with the blanket you were snuggling with. “Sleep love, we’re here and we aren’t leaving.” Aziraphale cooed as he kissed your temple.

You slept peacefully with your head in Crowley’s lap, he eventually moved you to be more comfortable so he could help Aziraphale cook dinner.

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A soft hand carded through your hair as you slept.

Crowley cooed until you started to wake up making the cutest noises he’s ever heard, course he’d never admit it out loud.

“There’s my sweetheart, it’s dinner time love.” He smiled as you peeled open your eyes letting out a small yawn.

“What’s cooking?” You asked as you threw the blanket off you and stretched.

“Chicken Parmesan with a salad.” The angel responded from the kitchen.

“Sounds good, I’m so hungry.” You smile as Aziraphale sets a plate down in front of you.

You take a bite and instantly melt in your seat, it’s been at least a week since you had a real home cooked meal. “It’s good I assume?” The angel smiles.

“Mhm, very good, thank you for dinner.” You smile back at your angel, he came over to kiss your cheek lovingly before digging into his own plate.

A while later you are snuggled between the boys watching a movie.

Soon after you fell asleep, Aziraphale carried you to bed with Crowley close behind.

They both tucked you into bed as snug as a bug in a rug.

“Goodnight my love.” Aziraphale kissed your forehead before wishing Crowley goodnight.

“G’ night sweetheart, night angel.” The demon responded back as both celestial beings let their wings out to wrap around you.

Recovery was always comfortable if it meant two celestial beings were by your side.

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Thank you for reading!

If you have any requests you want me to write feel free to send them in. I want to try NSFW requests so feel free to send those too.