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keferon · 14 days ago

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Odds of Survival Part 3

Unstoppable forces meets immovable objects.

Or Prowl finds new reasons to be concerned.

———————————————————————

While Prowl had destroyed the bombers attacking their end of the bridge, the other side had no such saving grace.

The opposite end of the sky bridge had broken off from the Commerce Tower and was now swinging downwards, creating a miles long ramp to obliteration.

There was a 4% chance Prowl could technically survive the impact. However he’d almost certainly be reduced to a sputtering spark trapped in a compacted pile of scrap that had once been his frame. Without instantaneous medical intervention, he would most certainly perish even in the event of the 4% survival chance occurring.

4% halved to 2% when Tacnet registered Jazz magnetizing his hands to Prowls frame.

Tacnet spun wildly and without traction. Whatever actions Prowl could have taken to mitigate the incoming damage was removed by Jazz’s inescapable hold. Every possible strategy terminated instantly in a flurry of error messages as Tacnet tried to factor for the impossible.

Physically, Prowls servos moved on their own, driven by some core deep coding for self preservation that had him frantically clawing at Jazz’s back for either a hand hold or escape as Tacnet spat out a single coherent plan:

(Brace For Impact)

The Praxian briefly wondered if he’d crash before they crashed.

The mechs jolted as Jazz made contact with the bridge turned ramp. A fountain of sparks spraying from his pedes as Jazz hit the bridge upright and began skating down the buckling surface.

Jazz wasn’t just passively sliding along either. Prowl felt powerful legs tense and thrusters make quick adjustments to narrowly avoid lethal splinters of braking pipes and metal sheets.

Odds of Survival 5%

Odds of Survival 6%

Prowl watched the impossible as Tacnet slowly ticked upwards. Through some stroke of insanity, Jazz was controlling their descent. Analyzing the white mechs motions, Prowl concluded they were practiced. Unbelievably, Jazz somehow had previous experience with similar circumstances.

On what Fragging planet does somebody regularly go careening down incredibly steep slopes at high speeds with only their own athleticism to keep them alive?!

Skill alone wasn’t enough however, because Jazz was slowly loosing control. As the sky bridge swung inexorably downwards, their ramp was steadily becoming steeper. Prowl could feel one of Jazz’s legs beginning to involuntarily shudder under the continued strain. The obstacles kept coming faster and faster, the visored mech barely keeping pace.

If he dropped me, Jazz has a 23% chance at saving himself.

Prowl caught sight of a chunk of bridge breaking outwards that spanned the total width of it. No getting around it. The jagged edge lifted just high enough to bisect him just below the wings. Prowl turned away.

Jazz leapt.

The deafening vibrations of metal on metal grinding suddenly stopped. An instrumental segment filled the gap.

Gravity ended their short reprieve.

This time when they collided with bridge, Prowl felt Jazz land wrong and then suddenly the sky was whipping past his optics.

Stars, moon, bridge. Stars, moon, bridge. Stars, moon, bridge. Stars, moon, bridge.

Tacnet greedily took in their current velocity, rate of rotation, and angle of the sky bridges decent to inform Prowl that Jazz and his combined weight would land on his helm.

Thank you Tacnet, I hate you.

Jazz shifted and Prowls vision went white.

Despite Tacnets certainty to the contrary, Prowl was not unconscious or dead.

ERROR, moon, ERROR. Stars, moon, bridge. Stars, ERROR, bridge, rubble. Stars, moon, bridge, rubble.

They were flipping through the air again.

Jazz landed on his feet this time but couldn’t stop their rolling. Prowl felt fast painful scrapes against his servos and peds.

Stars, bridge, rubble. Stars, bridge, rubble.

Tacnet took in their velocity and rotation again. Calculating their distance to the wreckage at the end of their fall.

Impact Survival 74%

Impact location Doorwings 87%

At least his doorwings were already offlined.

By then, the two mechs were no longer bouncing, but rolling fully across the remains of the bridge. Prowl locked himself around Jazz and braced for impact.

Collision was instant and deafening.

Prowls sense of balance was rubber banding. The instant stop after what felt like vorns of spinning out of control was just as disorientating as the fall itself.

In a lapse of memory, he onlined his doorwings.

Prowl remembered why he left them offline a click too late and sucked in a vent.

Except. They were functioning. The edges stung and the tip’s were badly chipped but both sensors were fully operational.

Blunt helm trauma. He must be having a severe processor malfunction. Prowl unlocked protesting joints and looked over his shoulders at his doorwings.

They were only lightly damaged, fully functional, and only a servos width from the pile of rubble he was being held above.

A black and white arm extended past his wings, buried wrist deep in the wreckage.

Jazz still had a death grip around his waist, visor pressed into Prowls shoulder.

“Jazz?” Prowl tried. If he put his vocalizer against his audial, the sound should carry. The music played out its final notes, leaving the silence of the moon in its wake.

“Jazz?” Prowl tried a little harder, pulling at the servo still magnetized to his back, unhooking his peds to kneel on the rubble. They had fallen into the 90 degree crook of the second cylindrical extension. The bridge had come to rest at last, kicking up enough moon dust to obscure their survival from any searching quintessons. For now.

Jazz slurred something in his native language, before repeating in common, “Gimme a click. I’m gonna throw up real quick.”

Prowl flared his wings, scanning the area. It was a relatively short drop to the moons surface. Once there, Prowl could transform and carry the both of them at speed to the outpost. Clearly, Jazz had no trouble holding onto him.

Speaking of, Jazz finally, slowly began to uncurl from Prowls frame.

He looked terrible. His visor had splintered crack’s across one side, the isolated fragments independently flickering. One horn was stuck pinned against his helm, sparking where shrapnel was jammed into the gap. He was visibly wobbling, and even with an em field Prowl could tell he was badly disoriented.

Jazz stared at Prowl for a while, before looking to his hand still buried in rubble. He tried pulling it free gently and when that didn’t work, got a completely ruined and mostly toe-less ped braced next to it and yanked

Jazz’s hand came free. At the same time something important looking snapped and fell out of his shoulder. The limb going limp.

Prowl didn’t have the bandwidth to process that at the moment.

Instead, he plucked up the chunk of shoulder into sub space. Tacking that onto the growing list of injuries they’d both needed tending to.

Cautiously, Prowl reached up to gingerly touch the back of his helm, fully expecting to feel exposed and crushed circuitry. Instead, he felt several dents, aligned in parallel. Very tender, but most certainly not as damaged as it should have been.

How?

Tacnet answered by mapping the contours of the dents, drawing Prowls optics to the back of Jazz’s obliterated servo.

The remains of the sky bridge shuttered.

Odds of Survival 45%

Prowl got Jazz’s attention and began pulling him towards the ledge they’d need to descend. Effectively deaf, probably blind, down an arm and forced to walk on two severely injured peds, Prowl only felt some relief when he finally wrangled Jazz to rest on top of his alt form.

Watching him struggle down the ledge was utterly disturbing to watch. Jazz limped along as if he was completely desensitized to pain, behaving as if he was more annoyed by his injuries than agonized.

Package secured, Prowl gunned it for the outpost. Even injured, he trusted Jazz to stay magnetized to his frame with whatever he had left to hold on with.

Out of the dust cloud, Prowl was intimately aware of how exposed they’d be. Confident he wouldn’t loose Jazz, Prowl focused entirely on plotting the most efficient route to the outpost.

The moment it came into view, Prowl pushed his engine past the redline as he registered sniper shots firing just past and above them.

Pursuing quintesson wreckers 78%.

Sure enough, a dead wrecker crashed into the moon dirt a short distance to their left.

Prowl managed a drifting slide past the out post gates, losing exactly enough momentum to match the speed of a running mech, then transformed back to root mode in the same maneuver. An exceedingly useful technique when chasing criminals and a damn effective way to shoulder someone on your roof through a door in the most efficient manner possible.

[Bluestreak, I’ve made it inside the outpost. I have an injured mech with me.]

[Heya Prowl! I saw you tearing it up out there with your backpack buddy! I’ve got a few more stragglers to take care of but you’re welcome to use the medic case I’ve got with me in here. I’ll ping the door for you.]

The primary medkit should be in the outpost storage closet. That is unless Bluestreak pulled it into his snipers nest to tend to his own injuries (22%). Or because Bluestreak pulled it there to force Prowl to bring his “backpack buddy” within conversational distance (92%).

He felt a tap at his shoulder, “Are we safe here?” Jazz yelled in the thin atmosphere. Visor flickering worse than before and visibly making an effort to stay balanced upright on eviscerated peds.

Priorities.

Prowl ignored his annoyance. He hit the trigger to pressurize the airlock and pulled Jazz’s good arm over his shoulders to stabilize the other mech. He had easily a dozen lines of questioning queued up in the backlog of his processor, every single one tagged with Jazz as the subject line. As much as Prowl itched to piece together the puzzle of why he was “Like that.” It’d have to wait until they were both in more stable condition. At least now his vents could actually do something to start cooling his overstressed processor.

“For now. We are somewhat safe.”

Prowl muttered quietly in addition, “Against all odds.”

———————————————————————

Bluestreak, seeing Prowl with some very obvious hand prints and very specific paint scratches: “What in the pit did he do to you?”

Bluestreak, seeing Jazz walk in after him with a broken arm, busted horn and an utterly torn up paint job across his back: “What in the pit did YOU do to him?!”

Either one or two parts left, next up Jazz pov.

-SSTP

OH HELL SSTP LET ME HOLD YOUR HAND REALQUICK THIS IS A FIVE STAR MEAL FOR MY SOUL FKKDJFG I JUST. I NEVER FUCKING GET TIRED OF THE WAY YOU WRITE I know I'm probably repeating myself at this point BUT IT'S JUST WHAT MY TRUTH LOOKS LIKE OKAY. EVERY TIME I SEE AN ASK FROM YOU AND START READING IT I GO "Oh M A N the author cooked so hard they should've made Ratatouille 2 about this way of placing words."

#mecha pilot jazz au #mecha writing #mecha jp writing #NOW THIS IS WHAT A REAL TREAT LOOKS LIKE #CAN YOU HOOK THIS FIC UP STRAIGHT TO MY BRAIN PLEASE #the...the way the contrast is shown #Prowl who can feel pain. just straight up suffering bc he's alive robot #and Jazz who is a fucking war machine but also hooo boy I'm fucking scared to imagine what was happening inside the mech #maccadam #jazz #prowl #jazzprowl

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scourgeofmyownbrain · 1 month ago

Text

Y'all want to see me go insane? No?

Okay so, Bumblebee and Megatron. Specifically TFP/Aligned Continuity Bumblebee and Megatron. The ones that kill each other. Those ones.

I have gone Insane thinking about them.

TFP ends with the two of them killing each other. They were inside each other's heads at one point. Megatron ripped out Bumblebee's voice box. Bumblebee tore the Spark extractor directly from Megatron's fingers. Let me reiterate the first point, They have both been killed and resurrected. They were both Dead but now they're not. They were a corpse but then they got better.

That's not all. In ALC canon, they have been dead more than once!! Both of them!! In Fall of Cybertron the game, Megatron gets crushed by Metroplex then resurrected with some dark energon and Bumblebee gets SHOT IN THE CHEST BY MEGATRON. the one in tfp wasn't the first time in canon, no no no, the exact same scenario happens on more than one occasion- Go read the wiki, I am not kidding you. War for & Fall of Cybertron are a part of the same universe as TFP, fact check me I dare you. Yes it is convoluted, but they're all in the same universe.

I... am loosing it... slowly... painfully...

I can't stop thinking about them. Out of every Universe with a Bumblebee and a Megatron, TFP/ALC is the only one where the beef they have is truly personal. Most TF Universes, Megatron and Bumblebee's relationship is hostile but not personally driven. If they had to, they could exist in the same room without any obvious issues. TFP/ALC, on the other hand, I think they hate each other on a personal level. I think if they had to exist in the same room, they would either spend the entire time arguing like 6-year-olds or brutally murder each other in a violent blood bath. And everything in between. I do not think they could be normal with each other to save their lives. You guys think TFO Bumblebee and Megatron's tragically fractured friendship is good (you're right, btw, very good) May I introduce: TFP Bumblebee and Megatron's Deeply Personal Beef!! It's objectively funnier! Bc they kill each other!

I wrote this line down a few months ago, I feel it accurately summarizes what I'm trying to say:

Optimus is living in Megatron’s mind rent free but Bumblebee keeps breaking in and stealing the radiator.

Quick Context Section because things written below needs some extra info to make at least a little sense.

I know I listed all the things these two have done to each other, but Bumblebee barely did anything bad to ol' Megsy. From what i've listed Bumblebee just annoys Megatron - then he kills him. And I'm saying they've both done horrible things to each other. And I am right, they have committed atrocities, but Bumblebee's are just never brought up in the show, at least explicitly.

So, we know that Bumblebee is a Scout in TFP/ALC canon and he is described as a pretty good one at that. Quote from the wiki, "...made [Bumblebee] an excellent scout and messenger...".

So what makes a good Scout. Well, according to the US Army, Scouts gather information about the enemy and the battlefield for the infantry. They are the "eyes and ears" of an army. Quote, "An Army Cavalry Scout may engage the enemy in the field, track and report enemy activity, as well as direct the employment of weapon systems." They are sometimes described as “the first line of defense for Army units” and "...are considered “jacks of all trades” for their ability to perform multiple combat roles in the Infantry Division." Link if you want to read more, very good resource for fics.

With all this context, since Bumblebee was an Excellent Scout, we can assume he has been Fucking over the Decepticon cause for YEARS. Megatron probably knew about Bumblebee before he actually met him. He probably knew Bumblebee as the Autobot Scout that had crippled his organization over and over again. Oh, He probably HATED Bumblebee, even if he didn't know who he was or what he looked like.

Alright, I've given context, back to the spiral.

Imagine their relationship/interactions in TFP/ALC from either of their perspectives.

Megatron

On Megatron's side, this Autobot scout has been fucking up your operations for years. We're talking hundreds of outposts, supply lines, and missions, all gone because of this one fucking scout. He even fucks up your All spark retrieval mission, so you rip his throat to shreds, leaving him to die there. You don't really think about the scout after that, you're more focused on Optimus. But then, a few weeks later, you get reports that that fucking yellow autobot scout is somehow alive and fucking up your stuff! He survived getting his throat shredded. Apparently, that's a non-fatal injury nowadays. Back in your day, getting your throat torn up killed you, and you liked it!

The war goes on, Cybertron is dead and your organization is packing its bags and relocating. Right before you leave, you attack the Autobots base one last time. Maybe you can strand them on Cybertron, leaving them to starve on this dead planet. During the fight, you just get fucking BODIED by Metroplex, killing you. You are dead. Not long after this, we're talking like a week max, Soundwave manages to resurrect you with this shit called dark energon. Cool stuff, you'll keep it in mind for later. You intercept the autobots as they are leaving cybertron, hoping to wipe them off the map before you leave. Now you and Optimus, your eternal opponent, are fighting. You fire your cannon at Optimus, a killing blow, but then that same yellow autobot scout from earlier jumps in the way, saving Optimus and killing him instead. Then both yours and the autobot's ships get sucked into a space bridge, prematurely ending your fight with Optimus. This of course pisses you off, but now you've finally gotten rid of that fucking scout for good. Finally, thought he would never leave.

You send the Decepticons to this random planet that has a ton of energon on it, both stashed and raw, and you go off to find out more about this Dark Energon stuff. Time passes, You've found the mother load of Dark Energon and you return to the Decepticons. This Dark Energon shit is kinda wild, apparently it's Unicron's Blood. You decide putting it in your body is a great idea, and it is because now you're super powerful. Now you're gonna throw a whole bunch of Dark Energon at Cybertron and resurrect all the dead cybertronians to fight for you. So you get the space bridge open, then you see that the Autobots are on the space bridge. Optimus is there. Rematch time :). As the Autobots retreat, you see the Autobot scout, the same bright fucking yellow Autobot scout you killed back on Cybertron (you saw his dead body, kinda hard to miss that) is somehow ALIVE. AGAIN. What is it going to take- that does not matter right now, your undead army is almost here- fucking space bridge blew up, COME ON!!

Now, you're in a coma. You don't know this till one day, you're fantasizing about killing Autobots when suddenly that fucking Yellow Scout shows up. Inside your brain. While you're in a coma. What. The fuck. He's looking for the antidote for some virus you made years ago. Apparently, Optimus caught it (ha, cringe). You taunt him with it a bit but then he just fucking leaves, without warning, so you follow him into his brain. Wasn't the best plan (you just left your body to starscreams devices) but you're rolling with it. You figure out how to take over the scouts body who's fucking up who's shit now fucker!, find some dark energon and resurrect it. The yellow scout tries to stop you the whole way, of course he does, but you are successful, and now you are fully restored. Magnificent. The war goes on, the scout keeps fucking existing but hasn't directly fucked something up. Yet. You see him driving around right before Unicron shows up, and you take a nice potshot at him for fun. He deserves it. He gives you a particularly nasty look when you're in the Autobot base later. Apparently, you hurt his little human friend when you shot him. Even fucking better. One day your team finds the Spark Extractor, a wicked powerful device that could fuck the autobots up nice and good. You are personally bringing it back to base when out of fucking nowhere the YELLOW SCOUT JUST FUCKING YOINKS IT! Right from your hand! That Bitch!

Then later, you figure out how to resurrect Cybertron. Fucking sweet. But first, you decide you want to get rid of earth by cyberforming it. Earth, which is also Unicron. You forgot about that part but that's not important. You have your reasons for wanting to fuck earth up first and resurrect your home planet second, and you are sticking to them. And the Autobots come to stop you, as they do. You're fighting Optimus and the two of you get knocked down onto the Omega Lock. You keep fighting. Suddenly that Yellow fucking Scout is jumping down to give Optimus the Star Saber. And you Can Not let that happen. You're not letting this fucking scout fuck up your shit anymore. So as he's jumping, you fire your cannon directly at him. Several shots hit him directly in the chest. He goes down, falling into the Omega Lock with the Star Saber. He is finally fucking dead, you watched the light fade from his spark (you shot his chest open). The yellow fucking thorn in your side is finally dead. For good. You fight Optimus some more, you get the upper hand, you have Optimus at your mercy and you are about to end your eternal battle once and for all. Suddenly, random fucking voice behind you calls your name. You turn around. Bam, Star Saber in your chest. All the way through. You fall to your knees and grab the sword. You are dying. You look up to see the one who finally bested you, and see the fUCKING YELLOW SCOUT YOU JUST KILLED! HIS CHEST IS STILL A GAPING WOUND oh look it closed up. WHAT THE FUCK!?? THREE TIMES YOU ATTEMPTED TO KILL THIS BITCH, TWO OF WHICH ACTUALLY DID KILL HIM, BUT HE GOT BETTER EVERY TIME??? Your spark fades out, the dark energon in your body can't save you this time. You are dead.

Suddenly you're alive. Unicron has stolen your body and is torturing you inside your own head. It's horrible. When Unicron is finally defeated and you're free from him, you no longer wish to fight for control of cybertron. Having been put through the torments of Unicron, you are broken, and no longer wish to be an oppressor. The irony of this scenario is lost on you. You fuck off to go die in a hole somewhere. The end.

Bumblebee

On Bumblebee's side, you have felt the effects of Megatron's and Optimus's war your whole life. Once you're big enough to shoot a gun you join the Autobot cause as a scout. You run many missions for the Autobots; gathering intel on Decepticon troops, supply lines, bases, fucking with anything mentioned previous, all that good stuff. You're pretty good at this, in fact, you're one of the best scouts the Autobots have. So when Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, manages to snatch you up and make you his personal scout, you're not surprised. Of course, Optimus wants to have the best of the best in Fucking With His Ex on his team. Then the mission to get the All Spark off of Cybertron rolls around, and you're right on the front lines. You had been running around doing something, can't really remember what, when you get caught by the Decepticons. Megatron is personally interrogating you. What did you do to deserve this honour? You don't spill anything to them; of fucking course you don't, what do you take you for, a snitch? Snitches get stitches, as the saying goes. Megatron does rip your throat to shreds though. That's bullshit, you're kinda dying right now but that's still bullshit. Luckily, you are saved by a medic, though you can't speak anymore, voice box got totalled and no one has the resources to rebuild it. You can communicate, though it is limited. That sucks, you liked your OG voice a lot, actually. You're back on the field pretty quick after that, can't sit still to save your life, and enacting your sweet sweet revenge on ol' Megsy. Hopefully this is the worst thing that will happen to you.

Eventually, Cybertron dies and the Autobots are getting out of dodge. The Decepticons try a couple times to stop you. You heard that Megatron died at some point, but he showed up in person a bit later, so it was probably just wishful thinking. During the last fight as everyone was leaving on their ships, you were making your way across the Autobot ship to repair a fuse for Ratchet in the engine room when you see Megatron about to off Optimus with his cannon. You react on instinct and jump in front of your leader, taking the shot meant to kill him. You're dying and it's Megatron's fault, again. Very rude of him to do something like this a second time. The last thing you're aware of is Optimus and Megatron starting to fight again before you die completely.

Suddenly you're alive. By some fucking miracle, you came back from the dead. No one knows how, maybe it was the medics, maybe it was Primus, maybe it was spite, but you somehow came back to life. Suck it, Troni-boy! The score's 2-0, can't kill you! You learn that the ship got sucked through the space bridge and now the autobots need to find a new home base. They find this random planet that should have some energon stashes on it and the scans pick up some raw energon as well. You are sent first to scout it out. You make contact with the closest governing body, get a nice agreement made, and team prime sets down on this planet called earth.

Life goes on, the decepticons show up at some point, though no one's seen hide nor hair of Megatron hope he he died in some ditch somewhere. Then Megatron shows back up fucking COME ON one day with some wild shit called dark energon and things get fucking weird. He gets blown up (ha, cringe) and you move on. Later you find out he's not dead (aGaIN) and now you have to go inside his brain to find the cure to the cybonic plague. Fucking yay. Yes, you willingly volunteered to do this, but you can still complain; it's Megatron, he ripped out your voice box, he killed you that one time, he smells like beans. So you get in, and you find Megatron's conscious, you talk to him, he taunts you with the cure, Ratchet takes a screen shot, and you get out of there. Mission done and duste- Megatron's inside your head now. Fuck. He forcefully takes over your body, which is.. fucked up, to put it mildly, and he manages to get his own body up and running. Fucking cool, good for him, you're still dealing with having your body stolen from you and moved against your will. What did you do to make the universe hate you so much? Like honestly, you must have been a real bitch in your past life for all this to happen to you. Later on, for no reason, he shots you as you're driving with Raf. This seriously hurts Raf, the Dark Energon messing with his body... This. BITCH! Megatron just keeps fucking with your life. At this point, it's fucking personal! One day, the Decepticons manage to get their hands on the Spark Extractor, which is very bad news for the Autobots. As Megatron is taking it back to their base, you manage to race after him and yoink it from his fingers. You are very proud of this stunt, and Megatron's face was priceless. Felt pretty good about that one, yes you did. Rub it in the bitch's face, why don't you. You deserve it.

The Decepticons figured out how to resurrect Cybertron. They're going to cyberform Earth first, for some reason. Even though Earth is Unicron- that's not important. What's important is that the Decepticons need to be stopped. So everyone's fighting, Optimus and Megatron have fallen down onto the Omega Lock and Optimus dropped his sword up on the main deck. You run and grab the Star Saber and start making your way down to Optimus. As you jump, Megatron fires his cannon directly at you. You take three fatal shots to the chest. You are dying. You fall down into the Omega Lock, struck with a distinct feeling of deja-vu. Your spark fades out, you are dead. Suddenly you're alive again. You wake up in the blue goo of the Omega Lock. You don't know what's happening, but you grab the Star Saber and get to the surface. You see Megatron about to kill Optimus. You move on instinct, making your way across the goo, jumping up onto the platform with the Star Saber. You call Megatron's name, distracting him just long enough for you to plunge the Star Saber into his spark. The world stops. You feel the enormous gaping hole in your chest close up. You tell Megatron he'll never hurt anyone like he hurt you again. He slides off the Star Saber and falls into Earth's atmosphere, dead. Megatron is finally fucking gone. You fucking did it. Also, your voice got fixed by the magic goo. Not a bad day, all things considered.

A while later, Megatron just randomly shows up again, though he's possessed by Unicron. Bitch, who cares who you are, you're supposed to be dead! You killed him! Why can't the universe let you have one fucking thing?! One thing!! You and your team take care of Unicron and Megatron, now back in control you'd prefer if he left with Unicron, says that after having been put through the torments of Unicron, he is broken, and no longer wishes to be an oppressor. The irony of this scenario is probably not lost on you, though we can't see your reaction. He fucks off and no one talks about any of this ever again. You get a second show, so not The End got you.

The oppressor lines are (mostly) copied from the wiki, because I couldn't have said it better myself.

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Have Y'all actually read Bumblebee at Tyger Pax? Because I just did, and the actual malice I felt from Bumblebee was a wild experience no fic prepared me for. Here's a few quotes just to set the tone.

“You going to go solo with Megatron and whoever else is with him?” “I sure am,” Bumblebee said.

“Sorry to ruin your plans there, Megatron,” he said. “Barricade couldn’t make it. He’s out on the side of the road to Tyger Pax. He said something about an ambush, but I couldn’t make all of it out because I was too busy beating him into the ground.”

“You?” Megatron said. “This barely formed mecha, animated by the dregs of the Well? You kept the AllSpark out of my reach?” “Yeah,” Bumblebee said. “Me.”

There were so many more moments, Bumblebee is a fucking menace every second he's in this thing. Megatron's anger was very justified. His actions? Eh, not so much, but his anger? Absolutely. I don't know if I would be able to hold myself back in Megatron's shoes. Please go read it; it is actually buck fucking wild.

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Do you know what's even crazier? I don't know if the writers intended to do this but Bumblebee and Megatron are kinda similar, character wise. Let me lay it out for you.

Bumblebee:

Has a pretty hot temper - Gets angry or frustrated very quickly (Shown in S1E23, S2E30, S2E31, S3E10)

Is a very skilled fighter - (Various episodes, Best example S3E5)

Is impulsive/acts before thinking - (Various episodes, best example S2E5)

Is a good strategist and negotiator (Shown in Predacons Rising)

Is a sassy little bitch - (Shown in Predacons Rising)

Will do anything for the ones he cares about (Shown in various episodes, Best Example S1E24)

Likes racing/driving (Shown in S2E30)

Megatron:

Has a very hot temper - Gets angry very very quickly (Various episodes, Best example S1E14)

Is a very skilled fighter - was Champion of the Gladiatorial Ring (Various examples, Best Example S1E26)

is impulsive/acts before thinking (Various episodes, Best Example S1E2)

is a good strategist and negotiator - Was a politician and career gladiator (Backstory S1E26)

Is a dramatic sassy bitch (Shown in every one of his interactions with Starscream or Optimus)

Will do anything to achieve his goals (Shown in various episodes, Best Example S2E21)

Has no respect for the dead (Shown in various episodes, Best Example S2E21)

If you're wondering why the lists are so sparse, it's because the writers didn't give them any character development the entire show. Yes I have opinions about this but we won't get into that here, this post is long enough already.

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I'm gonna tell you thing's I've noticed during my aggressive thinking about these two.

Bumblebee's not experienced enough to become a warrior yet (S1E6), but he's also waiting to be promoted to do it on Cybertron (S3E5). Now how in tarnation do you go from Absolutely Not Ready to be Promoted to 100% Ready but Waiting in like a year or two max.

I've already pointed this out in this post, but in Predacons Rising, Unicron did to Megatron what Megatron did to Bumblebee in Out of His Head. And I don't know if anyone else actually caught this turning of the tables. Bc it's been driving me crazy since I first watched it.

God, these two had such stunted characters. Megatron could have been so interesting with his backstory, but they just made him secretly evil the whole time. They could have made him nuanced and complex and explored how his past shaped him today, but no. All we get is evil guy doing evil things bc evil. And Bumblebee had the opportunity to be so compelling with his trauma and experiences but he was just shoved in the background and ignored 70% of the time. In Predacons Rising Bumblebee looked Unicron in the eyes before (supposedly) falling into a pool of molten metal. He literally did the "I Will Face God and Walk Backwards Into Hell." This super compelling character trait is barely communicated in TFP.

Bumblebee killed Skyquake and Megatron killed Dreadwing. Skyquake and Dreadwing are twins. This probably isn't anything but I thought I would point it out.

Megatron's gun looks stupid. I don't have anything else to say. Look, I couldn't fit this anywhere else, and I had to say it somewhere. It's the size of his arm and it's just stuck on top it looks so fucking stupid-

God, I wanted Bumblebee to experience consequences. For killing Skyquake specifically, why did Dreadwing declare revenge on Autobots as a whole? He knew it was Bee, why not specifically try and get revenge on him. The writers leaned heavily on Starscream killing Cliffjumper; why didn't they do it for Bumblebee and Skyquake? I was fucking blue-balled, I swear.

Megatron's about face at the end of Predacon's Rising was a... choice for his character. He was exactly the same as he was in TFP at the start of the movie but after some torture he's decided to change his ways. I would have loved to actually have him reflect on his actions, but no. About face or bust, apparently.

(This just turned into me bitching about them...)

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They look similar too. I only noticed this because A: I know Bumblebee's design really well, I've spent too much time staring at it bc it pisses me off for reasons I won't get into here you better fucking BELIEVE I have my reasons and B: My siblings got me a TFP Megatron toy and I was staring at it for some reason. Fucking look at this

look at this shitty gif I made (did y'all know you can make gifs with the desktop version of Powerpoint???) Megatron is orange and Bumblebee is blue. Their body shapes are scarily similar, and yes the poses are helping a bit, but they still look waaaaayy to similar for me to say this was an accident. And they have the purple and yellow contrasting colours thing happening. Look at their feet, both of them have a little spike pointing up around their ankles. Both their guns sit on top of their hands instead of replacing them. Their chests, their waists, their hips, their legs, why are they the same fucking shape?? I can't tell if I'm making some of this up, because I just keep seeing shit! I feel like a fucking conspiracy theorist rn.

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I just keep thinking about these two in TFP and all the issues with them in the story, and it feels like I’ve found the fractured skeleton of some long-dead story in the foundations of the show. Not the whole skeleton, just a couple spine fragments, maybe a part of a rib bone, maybe a part of the leg, oh and also the

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This means legitimately nothing but in one of the Ask Megatron things the Whatever Network did, when asked "Which Autobot do you like best?" Megatron says "My favourite Autobot is Bumblebee. We drink tea in my garden every tch- What kind of question is that, do you even watch the show??" Am I fine? Fucking probably but it doesn't feel like it.

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A Collection of Posts That Have Done Nothing But Make Me Worse.

Megatron in RID2015

TFP Bumblebee's Character Issues

Partial Shit post but speaking truth in the first two points

This is how I want them to talk to each other

The Yoinking Post

Pick Youre Fighter

General Post but god please

Another General post am I ok

*Writhing on the floor* General post

hmmmm Megatron about-face reasoning good

he fuckin grabs him then throws him so hard + me w/ss

See? See? I'm not the only one who wants them to hate each other

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EDIT: I FOUND MORE STUFF I HAVE MORE PROOF https://youtu.be/t2iv4S9oYl8?si=2bcb-ssfle87RWVL

That shove that shove so much malice he wanted to do that soooo bad

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My brain is consumed with random thoughts of these two. Would you like to hear them?

idfkam

They are the same kind of person. That's partially why they hate each other so much. That and the atrocities.

I just want to handcuff them together and see what happens.

I was scrolling through ao3 and there's so many fics ab Bumblebee being super afraid of Megatron and Megatron being abusive. And that? That is boring, and therefore, cringe. Put them on equal ground. No more power imbalance, they killed each other, they get to stand as equals now. Let Bumblebee call Megatron a slur, it would be funny.

If they were human, their names would be Ben (Benjamin) and Mark (Markus). Just the vibes. Also, both of them are gay.

For some fuck all reason, I see these fuckers with cowboy aesthetics. Like in RID15, Bee likes cowboys, so obviously human him would wear cowboy hats+boots, jeans, and a huge fuck-off belt buckle, but I just can't stop imagining Megatron in jeans, cowboy boots, and a bolo tie. He's already got boot cut legs, just complete the look.

So we know Bumblebee was born after the war started, or at least around that time. What if, he was also born into the gladiatorial pits, just like Megatron. But the Pits as an organization collapsed a bit after he was born, so he never actually experienced them. He does have a very similar build to Megatron, as we've established. Might be a fun parallel. Just an interesting idea, thought I'd share it. A headcanon to pull from this is Megatron had door wings when he was small, but they got removed while he was in the pits. Second headcanon: Bumblebee is supposed to be larger but lack of energon when he was growing stunted his height.

I can't get a scene where they physically fight out of my head. Not an actual to-the-death fight, just slapstick nonsense. Or a cage match, I would take a cage match.

Bumblebee doesn't hold any grudges against anyone, no matter how much they've done. He's the kindest mech Cybertron has ever had, he can make friends with anyone. He has one exception though: Megatron. Because he deserves a little treat.

my god... they are mirror reflections of each other. They easily could have turned out like the other if circumstances were different. oh my goooood, SG Bee acts like young Megatron, and SG Meg acts like old Bumblebee, I'm having an aneurysm...

They're like feral cats in a fight.

"if they hate each other so much why don't they just kill each other again?" Well you see, they can't. Not because laws or social expectations mean anything to them, no, they are each other's enrichment. Think about it, two mother fuckers who grew up fighting for their lives every single day; do you think civilian/incarcerated life is enough for their Survival-coded brains? No, they need some additional stimulation so they don't go insane. Megatron is a shell of his former self, just hardcore depressed day in day out. However when he's around Bumblebee that spark for life comes back, just because he hates Bumblebee that much. Bumblebee is teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown every day, his brain has no idea how to cope with peace. But when he sees Megatron, he has a release for all this pent-up energy that won't go away because he hates Megatron that much. So they can't kill each other, if they did they would fall apart within the month.

I think comparing TFP/ALC Bee and Meg to the other TF Universes is very thought-provoking. Bc in every other universe (to my knowledge), it was always either Optimus or some Prime-adjacent guy who did Megatron in, but never a Bumblebee (or the universe's equivalent). This is the only universe where this set of events happens. And I find that so fascinating. What would the other universes' Megatron think of how this one was defeated? What would the Bumblebees think? Would the Megatrons regard TFP/ALC Megatron in a negative light or a positive one? Would the Megatrons treat TFP/ALC Bumblebee any different than their Bees or would they be more cautious around him. Would the Bumblebees be excited for their counterpart or feel pity for all he had to go through? Oh I just want to have a TF/TF Crossover SO BAD but there's no easy way to find them please tell me if yall know about any TF/TF crossover stuff I am desperate I want to compare universes like pretty rocks.

Imagine with me, a room. It's a big room. In this room are every Megatron and every Bumblebee (+ any others you want). Most are just standing or sitting around, quietly observing something or ignoring that same thing. The room is not quiet, the air is filled with the sounds of an angry screaming match. Three Bumblebees and three Megatrons are engaged in a very heated argument. If you're confused about which ones this would be, read the goddamn post again. Or go read their wiki pages.

I know I just spent the last couple hundred words raving about how good it would be if they hated each other, but what if they got along. Hear me out, they just click with each other. The atrocities? Water under the bridge, bestie, let's go get lunch. They're such good friends it scares everyone else. Everyone knows what happened between them, and seeing them act like nothing happened is the freakiest thing they have ever experienced.

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What if Megatron and Bumblebee were related. I'm not talking about being brothers or being father and son, no no no no NO. I want them to be Cousins. Their parents were siblings, one had a kid (Bee) much MUCH later in life and the other had one (Meg) at the normal time. Human or Bot, does not matter, I just need them to be cousins.

They don't figure this out till after the war has ended. After they've killed each other. This is the worst news of their lives. How would you feel if the person you hate most in the world shared your genetics. And to add insult to injury, they have to play nice with each other. Megatron has to help get the Decepticons in line and Bumblebee is the new face of the Autobot cause thank you optimus, so they have to be polite and cordial to each other so a second war doesn't break out. Yes they hate it. Yes it's extremely funny. They're forced to be in fucking council meetings and work on reintegration policies together, they hate every fucking second of them. And it was good for PR to reveal their familial connection, so now they have to act like they at least tolerate each other for the news outlets, going on family outings and shit. Oh, they hate it. Behind closed doors, they are so fucking annoying, they argue like fucking children. It's the "I'm not even touching you" kind of arguments, that's how bad it is. They're both full grown adults, they're fucking war veterans, and they argue over stolen pens.

I can't get this scene out of my head: Post War. Bumblebee gets a shirt; human or bot, it does not matter, logistics of bot-sized clothing be damned, that says "The Thirteenth Prime is My Ex Cousin In Law." He wears it specifically in meetings when Megatron is present. He doesn't call attention to himself, just goes about his day as normal with this shirt on. Here is a scene from one of the Cybertron's Reconstruction meetings. Open in stereotypical meeting room. Everyone files into the room and takes a seat. Bumblebee is one of the last into the room, everyone notices his shirt. No one says anything and Bumblebee sits down. The meeting begins. Optimus is very pointedly not looking at Bumblebee, only looking at him when he speaks - and even then, he's only looking at his eyes. Ratchet can't stop giggling. Every time he composes himself even a little, he takes one look at Bumblebee and loses it all over again. Megatron is contemplating making a run for it. Everyone keeps glancing between him and Bumblebee's shirt, and he hates it. He's slowly been sliding down in his seat the entire meeting, and soon he'll end up on the floor. Yes, Bumblebee is proud of this, why wouldn't he be?

They're Both the Gay Cousin

AUS

Two Words. Body. Swap. I have so many different Iterations of this story in my head, but two things remain the same: Bumblebee and Megatron swap bodies after Sick Mind, and they're both PISSED about it. Megatron gets the bare minimum in upgrades, so Bumblebee is dealing with his stupid, barely optimized body + dark energon. Bumblebee deals with all his issues silently, so Megatron is dealing with years of unaddressed chronic pains + a fucked up voice box. If they're stuck somewhere together, they force the other to follow the routines they take with their OG body. Neither of them knows how to drive the other's alt-mode. No one on either team really notices any changes bc they're so good at acting (they know each other so well and they're so similar no one can tell the difference-) In the end, they come to an understanding about the other they never had before, but they still vehemently hate each other. This has gone through so many iterations, a single episode length version, a whole season length version, the rest of the goddamn show length version, I can't stop thinking about them.

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*opens my trench coat* Hey kid, you want some Dark Energon Bumblebee? The entire thing is "Bumblebee gets infected by dark energon and Megatron gets kinda parasocial about it." Obviously, there's nuance and shit, but that's the gist of it. So in Out of His Head, Megatron gets a second piece of Dark Energon fucking somehow, fuck if I know how yet, and wants to use both to resurrect his body. Bumblebee manages to get control of his own body back just before Meg can get the second shard in and puts the shard in his own body. Bla bla bla angst ensues, but, Silver Lining: Bee can now tangle with Megatron one on one. Free emotional release therapy ;). And because Megatron is fucking weird and thinks fighting is a normal way of socializing, he gets attached to Bumblebee. (Bee not on battlefield) Where's my new fighting buddy :-:? He's so fucking weird. They still hate each other btw, Megatron just expresses his emotions weird bc he's lonely. Obviously, there's more story, but I'm working on turning this one into an actual written work, and I'm still working out the plot points. It's very slow, I'm still in the (very)rough draft stages, but maybe when it's done, I'll post it (bc I want something I make to be 100% before I post it.)

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Ok, but imagine if either of them got stuck in the other one's head at the end of Out of His Mind. And now they're stuck together forever. I think I read a post ab if Megatron had been stuck in Bumblebee's head during tfp (i can't find it someone give it to me). The whole bit is the two of them are just immensely annoying when they're stuck. Just constantly pissing the other off, bc it's all they can do.

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So, I'm pretty sure the only way these two chucklefucks would be normal with each other is if they met outside of the war, when both of them were younger. Just imagine it, there's no war, so no one is dead or insane, and Bumblebee and Megatron meet somehow. You could do the cousins thing and have some Cybertronian CPS Workers show up like "hey this kid's parents just died and you're this kid's last living relative, would you be able to care for him?" and then shenanigans ensue. Or you could have Optimus meet Bee first and then introduce Bee to Meg somehow, and then the two just become friends that way. The only constant I have is they are each other's biggest enablers and biggest haters(affectionate). They're like siblings, the chaos that would ensue. Bumblebee somehow convinces Megatron to get his silver colour scheme changed to bright fucking purple. Megatron teaches Bumblebee how to fight and win every single time. Megatron picks up Bumblebee's Young Person slang and uses it constantly (he is twice Bee's age). Bumblebee learns how to negotiate like a fucking senator because of Megatron. Can you see it? My visions?

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RID15. Bumblebee & Company find Megatron just hiding out on earth one day, and they are forced to interact. That's it. That's the whole bit. No fighting, just "Oh, great, this bitch is here. I'm not drunk enough for this shit." Wouldn't that be great?

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Megatron's consciousness and spark get transferred into a Mini-Con body. His original body was heavily altered by Unicron during the resurrection and is slowly rejecting all the modifications. Bumblebee volunteers to be his guardian/parole officer. Why? Well, no one else wants to watch him, and the two have lots of blackmail history (they've been inside each other's heads. they know things) with each other, Bee'll keep him in line. Everything's about the same with RID15, but mini Meggy is here to make snide comments about everything. He's like an angry cat.

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Slightly dumb, but take post-RID15 or post-TFP Bee and throw him back into pre-show MegOP drama. It would be funny. Bee, who knows EXACTLY how all this will play out, has decided chaos is the only option and becomes Meg's and OP's mentor/uncle/friend/thing. He is going to prevent the war if it fucking kills him, and the easiest way to do that is to babysit Megatron. Bumblebee is a jaded gay bitch about the whole thing and priority #2 is enjoying himself, so he says fuck off to decent manners and teaches Megatron every slur he knows. Someone has to show him the ways of "healthy" emotional release and it's gonna be Bee (no one's self esteme is safe, nor is their property.) Somehow, his chaos meddling prevents the war from ensuing (things still fall apart, but the divorce proceedings are uneventful and bloodless)

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Take the basic Babee and Dadimus storyline, but substitute in ol' Megsy. And keep it fun. Megatron and Starscream find a sparkling on some random excursion they're on for reasons. The first thing the sparkling does is attack Starscream, who had scared him when he grabbed him. Megatron finds this hilarious and takes the sparkling back to their base. He admires the little bot's hutzpah. He planned to hand the sparkling off to someone, but the little bot wouldn't let go of his arm (Babee didn't want to leave the big bot who saved him from the screechy bot). The sparkling would start furiously fighting anyone else who tried to take care of him, hurting his small frame in the process. Megatron (who's starting to get attached to this small violent menace) is worried for the sparkling's health and agrees to help care for him. As the days go by, Megatron begins to see a bit of himself in the little bot: his stubborn convictions, his violent tendencies, his sass and dramatics. It's kinda starting to grow on him. You know what? He'll keep him around, just for fun. So Bumblebee grows up under Megatron's wing. It's a hilarious dichotomy. The Great and Mighty Megatron, making silly faces at a sparkling to make him giggle. Megatron, the champion of the gladiatorial pits, giving a little yellow bot airplane rides for fun. Megatron giving orders to his troops with a kid on his shoulders. Megatron interrupting an interrogation to praise Bumblebee's drawing. It's hilarious, it's a crime lord and a baby. And when Bumblebee grows up, he's appointed as Megatron's Second in Command/Heir. Megatron taught him everything he knows about leading, he's the perfect choice. He is the pride and joy of (Megatron's spark) the Decepticon cause. (yes Bee is evil now, sshhhhh it's fine)

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Does anyone have any age swap stuff, like in general? I can't find anything substantial (there was like one fic?), and I want to see some.

Okay, this has gone two ways in my head. One: Bumblebee is in the Gladiatorial Pits and takes care of small Megatron. Two: Bumblebee is an Instrument of Unicron and Megatron is Unicron's unwilling new host. Here's the run down for both.

One: Bumblebee is the best gladiator in the arena. Megatron is a random fucking sparkling that gets thrown in. Bumblebee immediately goes mama bear mode and protects Megatron from just about everything he can. One day there's an opportunity for Meggy to escape and Bee starts fighing everyone to cover for him. Meggy then gets to meet up with Orion + extras and they get to work to get rid of the gladitorial pits. Meggy doesn't know if Bee's still alive and he's super worried he died without getting to say goodbye. V sad, pain and suffering, angst central with a nice reunion at the end. Idk I was feeling a certain way when I made this one up.

Two: Megatron gets kidnapped by the cult of Unicron and they want to make him Unicron's new vessel. He of course does not want this and fights back. Then Bumblebee shows up to restrain him, bc he's the strongest guy they got. Bla bla bla, monologuing, cosmic horror stuff, I can't word right now. But Bee is sympathetic to Meggy's plight, bc he didn't choose this life either. He was born into it and only knows Unicron. So, in an act of rebelion, Bee runs away with Megatron. Meggy doesn't trust Bee of course, but he is trying to return Megatron to his friends so he'll stick around till then. Bonding ensues. And Angst but mostly bonding.

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Yes, I repeated myself a lot. Were you expecting originality? After that spiral? God, this is a long post.

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