#just leave his hair one colour instead of changing it each episode

[elibeeline]

Every time i catch an episode of The Flash there's a whole new plotline

[anodesu]

I Like How They use Colour in Our Flag Means Death.

Hello, I should be working, but today I just want to take a moment to gush about something that I haven't really seen anyone really talk about yet, but would love to discuss. Our Flag Means Death is a series about love and identity in so many ways, and one of the ways they 'subtly' depict where a character stands with their identity is with the use of colour. The most obvious one that can be addressed is, naturally, Blackbeard. Everything about his character in the show to start encompasses the colour black, including those around him.

Everyone on Blackbeard's crew conforms to Blackbeard, all in black, all in leather, and to an even deeper extreme in the second season as Ed spirals. It's all dark makeup, face paint. Crudely dyed hair. Not even Izzy, whose entire attire has remained unchanged, is not left unscathed when Ed is at his lowest.

(you know, besides the whole... toe... leg... thing) The times that we see Ed in anything but his leathers in the first season are times where he is slowly breaking away from the persona he had built up. We see it a few times when Stede and Ed wear each other's clothes, but that is when they are working on the mutual goal of becoming more like the other. The other notable time this happens in season 1 is when the two are imprisoned, and the clothing that defines each of them is gone, leaving only two men with growing feelings to face one another as equals.

However, Ed's not really the one who I want to focus on here. Instead, I'd actually like to talk about Stede. See, I feel the whole thing with Ed was made very abundantly ham-fisted for a reason. It stresses the idea of colour and theme to us in a simple way, before adding in places beyond Blackbeard. The thing about Stede Bonnet is that, up until the most recent episodes aired (Season 2, episode 7), Stede always had a splash of white incorporated into his attire; be it a cravat or a loose shirt, Stede's attire always has a brightness to it to make his noble ass stand out from the more neutral tones of his (admittedly commoner) crew.

But even when Stede is wearing tones that blend in, there's always that smattering of white somewhere. Or sometimes everywhere.

This is naturally supposed to be in contrast to Ed at all times, as no matter what, Ed's attire is always a little or a lot darker than Stede's, even when Ed was at his most Stede-like.

Things start to truly change mid season 2 with the discovery of a beautiful deep crimson (cursed) suit, which, if you remember, Stede secretly swipes the shirt from to keep wearing. It is this episode where we start to see a shift in Stede's colour scheme from whites and brights to something far darker than he's ever willingly worn before.

This here is the start of Stede's true descent into embracing his pirate persona in a way that did not really fit with his original ideals. By keeping a piece of the suit, Stede lies to his crew that the curse is fully, truly gone from their lives, which frankly, is quite a pirate-like thing to do, and from that moment on, his progression to being seen as a "real pirate" truly takes off. He is wearing that same shirt when he offs Ned Low, and so far, we haven't really seen him wear white since.

It all culminates into the midpoint in episode 7. Stede is basking in the fame, his ego's gotten the better of him. He's casually set a man on fire moments earlier. Ed, on the other hand, is fancying himself a career change. He had thrown his infamous black leather garb into the sea at the beginning of the episode, instead donning something much more soft and neutral; a mid-grey shirt and pants. To add to this, in the scene with Stede, Ed says the following: "I don't even know who I am! I don't wan't to be a pirate... and you- look at you! You're blowing up. You're the toast of the town!" Ed, in his neutral greys of uncertainty, and Stede in deep blues. Not in each other's clothes, but garb they had willingly chosen for themselves, and so the colour shift, where Stede is in darker colours than Ed, is a significant turning point for them both.

I personally don't see it as being White = Good or Black = Bad. I think you could see it in a lot of ways: Society vs Piracy, Gentleman vs Pirate. It could be perceived as the loss of innocence, or maybe just two strict ideals of toxic masculinity on opposite ends of the spectrum. Either way, I think it's a beautiful touch in a show about the exploration of identity of one's self. Thank you for listening to my Ed talk.

[iwadori]

are you going to do a 'when the haikyuu boys make you insecure' part with Iwaizumi / could I request that?

When they make you insecure part 6 (Iwaizumi,Matsukawa)

Part 1 Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5 Part 6

Word Count: 2.8K

Genre: Angst, Fluff

masterlist

AN: Did I embedd myself in this story? Yes, yes i did. :3 (it’s only a small part dw loool)

Iwaizumi

One day when you were walking to the gym to go see your boyfriend  

You overhear him and the team talking about some instagram girl

“She’s hot” you hear Boktuo yell doing a hoot as he fawns over a picture, with the rest of the guys agreeing.  

“What do you think Iwaizumi?” Hinata ask  

“She’s cute... I guess?” the rest of the guys, grunt in disagreement at Iwa’s lack of drooling over the girl.

“Well I see why you wouldn’t want her Haji-kun,” says Atsumu “you are into the more simple girls bro”

“Simple?” Iwaizumi questions, and the rest of the guys agree

“Yeah simple, you know Y/N... she’s simple” says one of the guys, with the word ‘simple’ rolling off their tounge with a tone of disgust.

“I guess your right guys...” Iwaizumi says “Y/N is pretty basic and simple but-”

You leave the gym before you hear what the rest of them had to say. When you got to your house you bolt straight to the mirror, you look at your outfit and frown. You never thought your style was ‘basic,’ to be fair you wouldn’t describe anybodys style as basic or simple. Of course, you weren’t like those instagram influencers, that wasn’t your thing. But Iwa has known that about you for years... but I guess that’s not what he truly likes.

You go to your closet and take out all the contents, just tossing all your clothes (even some of your favourite items ever) and dashing them in a black trash bag putting them to the side. You were already on a mission to buy a whole new wardrobe, going through all different stores and looking on pinterest for inspo.

You didn’t really talk to Iwa for the rest of the week, since you wanted him to see you in your ‘new form,’ you weren’t being radiosilent but you didn’t initiate any hang outs with him or face time calls (which he did find slightly odd, but didn’t think that much by it.)

Finally, the clothes came and you were kind of shocked at how much you ordered you spent over £200 on clothes from all different places. When you were trying them on, you liked some of them the ones that were kind of similar to your past style but not so ‘simple,’ the others you kind of frowned at since it definitely didn’t feel like ‘you’ at all. ‘This is for Iwa,’ you reminded yourself as your forced a smile on your face analysing yourself in the mirror.

You had everything sorted, your wardrobe was now changed and done the colours and styles you once wore before is now the complete opposite. You invited Iwa over, hesistantly waiting to see how would he react.  

When you hear your door knock, you rush over to open it and model a pose you saw one of those girl do trying to look as natural as possible.

“Hey babe ho-” he says, with his eyes widening seeing your new look “Woah Y/N!”

“Hey Haji..come in!” you exclaim with a beaming smile pulling him inside to the couch. “So, are we going to continue watching the crown, I watched the previous episode and god prince phillip is such a dick.”

You look over your shoulder and see Iwa still standing in your entranceway a bit awkwardly, looking a bit stunned. “Come sit down then, we’ve got an episode to watch.”

“uh oh yeah, sure” he says blinking, following you to the couch.

You got through atleast 4 episodes together, you barely talked as you were really engrossed in the show. Iwa was barely paying attention, he was too busy questioning how you were acting. This definitely wasn’t the girl he knew, even the way you were acting whilst watch the show was odd. The way you’d cutely giggle and ‘sublty’ look over to him whilst laughing at a funny part of the show instead of just doing your usual obnoxious laugh that he loved to hear.

“Oh Y/N, I’m going to go to the bathroom.” he says standing up, you don’t reply you just wave your hand in acknowledgement.

On his way to the bathroom, Iwa nearly trips on a black bag left outside your bedroom door. He opens it, and mildly gasped when he saw all your old stuff jumbled up in there. He picks up the back and goes straight back to the living room and stands in front of you.

“Haji, what are you doing you’re blocking the TV” you complaining trying to see what’s happening behind him.

He drops the black bag infront of you and you internally curse yourself for not moving. You stare at him waiting for him to say something.

“Well whats this then.” he says looking down at you, almost like a disapproving dad.

“Clothes.” you say smartly, knowing what he was asking.

“You know what I meant Y/N, why are all your clothes in a garbage bag.”  

“Because I wanted to put them there,” you wanted to seem as nochalant about it as possible as if putting all your clothes in a garbage bag doesn’t make you feel sad.

“Yeah but why?” he says sitting down next to you.

“Just because I wanted to” you reiterate “what else do you want me to say?”

“Well this isn’t like you, its just a bit random Y/N” he says

“I know this isnt like me you” you spat, standing up “Isn’t this what you wanted anyways.” You head to your bedroom picking up the bag with you, with Iwa hot on your heels.

“What do you mean this is what I wanted?” he says in disbelief “When did I ever say that?”

“It doesn’t matter” you mumble, you start to aggressively take our your old clothes and shove them back into your wardrobe whilst Iwa is just talking. You’re not really listening to him your just putting the clothes back.

“Y/N Stop!” he yells kind of knocking you out of your ‘trance,’ “what is going on with you?” he grabs you hands and pulls them down stopping you from what you were doing and he winced at seeing your tear stricken face.

He gently pulls you into his arms sitting you both on your bed, waiting for you to speak. “I don’t know what you want from me Iwa..” you start your voice slightly breaking “it’s just I did this all for you and you don’t even appreciate it.”

“I don’t know what you mean Y/N?” he says sounding genuinely confused.

“Y/N is simple and basic.” you say repeating words that you heard your boyfriend say about you, you feel him tense as you say it and you slowly get out of his hug.

“Y/N I-”

“That really hurt Hajime, I know now that I'm not your ‘type’ but I-”

“No Y/N, you are my type of course you are!” he says gulping in nervousness “I love you, and your style. I’ve always being enamored by how you dress and present yourself and I don’t know why I even said you’re basic and simple I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Really?” you say sniffling looking down

“Yes really you idiot,” he says lifting your head up “To be fair I don’t care what you wear, since you look great in anthing I just want you to be happy Y/N and especially not dress for anyone including me. Okay?”

“Okay,” you agree slightly nodding your head.

“Good, so can we go and finish the crown and then burn all these clothes?” Iwa jokes as he stands up.

“Burn them!” you exclaim “These cost £200, you muppet.”

“£200! Gosh Y/N, next time you go shopping im definitely coming with you.” he says shaking his head “can’t have you blowing out your bank account for clothes you don’t even like that much.”

You spend the rest of the day finishing of The Crown and you and Iwa eventually both sort out your wardrobe. Your style and aethetic changes a lot more through the times you were together and Iwa was very supportive and helpful of every single change. Especially *insert your favourite dress aesthetic here.*

Matsukawa

You were walking with your friends; Iwa, Tooru, Maki and your boyfriend Matsun. Walking to school as you did every morning, today the topic of conversation was Tooru’s bad taste in women.

“Gosh yesterday was horrible, she didn’t want to talk to me at all,” he complained “all she wanted to do was to come straight to my place, I didn’t even have the chance to tell her my hair routine.”

“That’s why you don’t find dates off of Tinder shittykawa” grunted Iwaizumi

“Well I know that now!” he exclaimed.

“Y/N,” said Makki grasping your attention “Would you ever use Tinder?”

“Well I-”

“Of course she wouldn’t” your boyfriend interrupted wrapping his arm round your shoulder “she’s got me”

“Yeah, but if you two weren’t together, would you use it.”

“Well may-”  

“Y/N definitely wouldn’t” he said interrupting you AGAIN “she’s way to frigid for that shit”

Frigid? You thought to yourself, ouch. Their was a quick awkward silence and all you could hear was Matsukawa laughing with the others laughing after awkwardly in pursuit. After sensing your uncomfortability (is that a word?) Oikawa decides to change the subject to make things less awkward,

“I need a woman who understands me!” he rants “One that can listen to me and appreciate my awesome hair.”

“Goodluck with that Shittykawa.”  

Oikawa rambles on as you walk to school with the other guys chiming in. You on the other hand, were lost in thought. Your sex life wasn’t something you would want to publicly talk about let alone to you and your boyfriends' male friends. Also, with Matsun describing you as ‘frigid’ struck a nerve. You weren’t frigid, well at least to you, you weren’t.  

When you got to school you immediately rushed straight to your lesson claiming that you teacher really needed to talk to you. Which was odd to Matsukawa as you usually all hung around each other until the bell rang, the other boys gave each other knowing looks all assuming the reasons for your odd behaviour.

At lunch time, you stayed in your class instead of going up to the roof where you and your friends usually end up. In the class room you hear one of the girls in your class, Empress having one of her usual gossip conversations with her group of friends.

“Hajime is so hot!” she said, fanning her face being dramatic  

“Of course he is! You should totally go for him.” her friend said and the rest of the friends agreed.

“What do you think Y/N?” she says to you catching your attention “you’re close friends with him right?”

“Yeah, I am” you say a bit sadly “You should definitely go for him, I think you’d be perfect together.”

“Okay! I think I might later” she says smiling. Her and friends leave, but then Empress returns and walks straight to you.

“Are you alright doll?” she asks softly smiling

“I guess so..” you say hesitantly “It’s just something my boyfriend said to me this morning.”

“Matsun?” she asks and you nod in reply “What did he say?”

After you rehash the situation from this morning Empress scowls in annoyance, “Boys can be such pigs sometimes, such a dick thing to say.”

“I know right!” you respond “Even if I was frigid, which im totally not it’s not even a bad thing nor is it something to reveal to people in public in a ‘jokey’ way.”

“Yeah!” she agrees “I think you should go and give him a piece of your mind.”

“I mean...” your voice falters, when it comes to Matsun you’ve never really given him a ‘piece of your mind,’ even when he makes jokes that you’re not so fond of.

“Come on!” she encourages “I’ll come with you and cheer you on.”

“You just want to come to see Iwa Empress” you say pointedly “But fine let’s go.”

You both power walk to the roof where you see the four seijoh boys sitting down and eating. “Oh hi Y/N/-chan and look Iwa its Emp-chan... isn’t that a surprise!” Iwa blushes and the rest of the guys laugh.

You walk straight up to Matsun and stand right infront of him. “Matsukawa I need to talk to you,” you say folding your arms. “Why whats up babe?” he says, still sitting down with a cheeky grin on his face.

“Alone.” you say turning around walking to a secluded spot. Behind you, you hear Matsun get up and the rest of the boys saying “oooh Matsukawa your in trouble” as they laugh.

“What’s wrong with you today Y/N?” he asks slightly accusatorily.  

“I didn’t appreciate the comment you made today on the way to school,” you say with your arms folded.

“Oh that little comment about you being frigid, come on it was just a joke I wasn’t being serious.” he says lightly laughing but he stops once he sees the glare you give him ”you knew it was a joke right?”

“Matsun, some are your jokes just aren’t funny,” you say “especially when they're about me and our sex life in front of our friends too.”

“Y/N I didn’t mea-”

“You just come off as a huge dick sometimes, and I can’t do this anymore if you keep on making these comments anymore I don’t think I can do this.”

“Woah Y/N, are you threatening to break up with me?” he asks “Over a few little comments?”

“These aren’t a few little comments, sometimes what you say is just unnecessary and rude.”

“Okay well...”

“Well...” you repeat staring at him waiting for to apologise or atleast say something, “fuck you Matsukawa.”

You storm away and walk bout to the group saying “Empress lets go.” She jumps of Iwa’s lap and waves by to them following you back down to the school. You walk into the bathroom and just start to cry, “Y/N whats wrong?” Empress says pulling you into a hug  

“H-He doesn’t care,” you cry “He pretty much excused his stupid comments, passing them off as little ‘jokes,’ that didn’t apparently mean anything.”

“Oh dear,” Empress says consoling you “he’s not worth your time right now.”

“B-but but I love him.” you wail fat tears streaming down your face.

“I know sweetheart, I know,” she says letting go of the hug “so what do you wanna do about him?”

“I don’t know,” you say “I don’t want to break up with him or anything, but is there a point in staying if he’s just going to make these comments again.”

“I don’t know Y/N, but whatever you wanna do I’ll support. Wether it’s keying his car or reading shitty fanfiction and crying.” Empress says making you laugh.

The final bell rings and now it's time to go home, of course you don’t walk with the guys so you just enjoy your own company walking home.

“Y/N! Y/N!” you hear from behind you and of course the only person it can be is Matsukawa.

“What do you want?” you mumbled  

“I..I want too” he says heaving out of breath from the running he had to do “I want to apologise. I need do.”

“Okay...” you respond

“Im sorry, Im so so sorry,” he says “those jokes and comments were stupid and I agree I can be a dick sometimes. Well a lot of the time, but I never wanted to be a dick to you.”

“Well you were.”

“I know I was, and I’m so sorry. There’s no excuse what I said and what I have said before I just hope I can make it up to you.”

“Okay then.”

“So are we not broken up?”

“No we’re not broken up, but it’ll take a lot of making up to do for me to fully forgive you.”

“Great! And I'll spend every day to get you to forgive me.”

Which he did, he spent every day showering you with love and affection. He was way better than he was before, you even went on double dates with Oikawa and his flavour of the week and triple dates with Iwa and his girlfriend. Matsukawa, although he still made jokes, he never targeted them and centered them around you in an insulting way.

AN: I didn’t really like the matsukawa one since i couldn’t really write for him properyl sooo sorry bout that one kids.

[loousir]

[Satyr} Insecurities

Soft Male Presenting NB Satyr x Male Reader

Dakota

Warnings: Dakota get comforted by you after a sudden breakup and you end up confessing, they realized they like you too, mentions of alcohol (tho not explicitly stated other than beer), two faced boyfriend (now ex)

Masterlist

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Currently, you are on your way to third wheel for your best friend, Dakota. This guy that Dakota was dating was one that you really did not like. He was all sweet and kind around Dakota but the second they turned their back, he was a complete jerk. You knew you should tell Dakota but they just looked so happy being with this guy that you didn't want to ruin this momentary happiness.

Anyhow, both of you were walking down the street to a small yet busy pub that he had asked Dakota to meet. Dakota had asked him if you could come and he said yes but you knew he would have said no if that didn't ruin his "perfect boyfriend" image. You developed feelings for Dakota years ago, long into your friendship with him but you never confessed. You knew they didn't feel the same so you decided to just try to be the very best friend you could be.

Dakota pointed out the place you two were going and you followed them up to the front door. You opened it for them and they almost instantly spot their boyfriend, going over to him and hugging him. You smiled a sad smile and looked at the two before joining them at their table. He had sent Dakota off to get drinks for the three of you. "How have you been (R/n)?" He looks over to you with a not glare for once. "I'm breaking up with him."

Your eyes widened slightly. "What?" He nods. "Yeah I got hit pretty hard in the face with reality after the last time we met." His whole demeanor had changed from what it was before. You tried to say something but Dakota came back with a beer bottle and two glasses. They set one of the glasses down in front of you and handed the bottle to their soon to be ex who's demeanor went back to perfect boyfriend mode.

You smiled at Dakotas smile before taking a drink of what they got you. "Ah, (R/n)! Did you see the new episode yesterday? It was so good!" Dakota said before going on to ramble about bits and pieces. (R/n) smiled and nodded, chatting about said episode with Dakota.

A few minutes had past with the three of you talking before (R/n) decided it was time to bring the bad news. "Dakota." They looked up to (R/n) who looked like he just accidentally kicked a puppy. Dakota noticed and went to grab his hands to ask what's wrong but he pulled away. You looked away out of courtesy but still listened in. "I'm sorry Dakota. I dont think we can be together anymore. Its really me, not you. You've been nothing but good to me and I want you to be happy but it can't be with me."

"Maybe we'll see each other around. Don't worry about paying for drinks, I'll cover it on the way out." He said standing up to leave. Dakota couldn't seem to process what what happening as they watched their now ex-boyfriend walk away. "Kota, let's go." You said standing and grabbing their hand.

They didn't move but instead started to shake slightly. "Dakota, please." You pulled them up and practically dragged them out of the pub and stopped when you were a block away from it. Dakota hadn't said a word but held on tightly to your hand. "Do you wanna go back to your house?" You asked, looking to them. They nodded softly, more hair moving to cover their usually covered eyes.

You squeezed their hand gently as the two of you walked back to Dakotas place. It wasn't too far from the pub so neither of you saw the point in taking the car. After a few minutes of walking, Dakota stopped, making you look back. "Im... S-so sorry... I... I cant..." They tried to say something but ended up almost collapsing, legs shaking like crazy. You caught them before they could and opted to carry them the rest of the way.

Dakota holds onto you and cries into your neck. You gently rub the back of their head and whisper reassuring words into their ears. After a few more minutes of walking, you make it to the house and carefully unlock the door and close it behind you before taking them upstairs to their bedroom. "I'll go grab some water. I'll be right back ok?"

You head back down stairs, lost in thought as you grabbed water from the fridge before heading back up. You didn't expect to see what you did though.

Your body stood ridgid with shock. Standing in front of you, staring back with wild and afraid eyes was your best friend of 5 years. They looked like they were wearing pants but they weren't. Their legs were covered in dark brown fur, same colour as their hair. Your eyes followed the soft digitigrade shape down to the cloven hooves in place of feet. A small tail to match laid tight against their body.

"Dakota..?"

You breathed out hesitantly. They seemed to snap out of whatever trance they were in for a moment and they started to shake. "Hey... Hey whats wrong?" You asked as you very slowly approached them, as if the wrong step could send them sprinting away. They didn't say a word and you eventually got to their side. You very carefully grabbed their hand but they pulled it away faster than you could blink.

They looked at you with such fear that you could barely even tell if it was your sweet Dakota anymore. A tense moment passed as you had seen his eyes for the first time. You gently took their hand again and pressed their palm against your chest. They could feel your heart pounding, theirs was probably just as fast. You and Dakota had this thing where if one of you were panicking, the other would place a hand on the heart of the one whos panicking. It usually ended with a hug but it was really just a comfort thing that Dakota had started with you when they had a panic attack in public. Once they had seemed to realized, some lever must have flipped as they pulled you into a tight hug.

"(Y/n)..."

You hugged them back, gently placing a hand on the back of their head to keep them close. A silent minute had past before you felt your shoulder getting wet again. "I'm so sorry." It was barely a whisper but you heard it. Neither of you said a word after that. Dakota pulled their head out from the crook of your neck and rested their forehead against your chest.

"I didn't want you to find out like this..." Their voice was small as they spoke, hands gripping tightly to the back of your shirt. You carefully set a hand on their cheek, coaxing them to look up to you. Their eyes were red and slightly puffy from crying. The bright green, almost yellow irises stood out against their pink-ish scleras. "Your eyes are so beautiful." You mumbled out without thinking.

Dakota blushed and looked away. "I know you probably don't wanna talk so let's sit down and I'll go first." You lead them over to the bed and both of you sat down. "Judging by your reaction you didn't want me knowing about the whole... Lower half thing." You paused to look at Dakota who nodded. "Sorry." You said, still processing everything. Dakota shook their head. "N-no... I..."

"I don't know what to say..." Dakota said with a heavy sigh. "It's ok. You don't have to say anything-" They cut you off before you could continue. "(Y/n) I've lied to you for 5 years about it! Of course I have to say something!" You looked away from them and sighed. "I would be lying if I said it didn't upset me that you never told me what you were." Without hesitation, you grabbed Dakotas hand again, staring at it as they let you intertwine your fingers. "But I always had a feeling you weren't exactly human anyways... Of course I wanted to know but I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable around me."

Dakota looked to your eyes, tears welling up in theirs again. You could see that they wanted to apologize for not saying anything but you just shook your head. "Kota, I could care less that your a Satyr. If anything I like you even more." You mumbled the last part but they still heard it anyway, signaled by the blush that rose to their cheeks yet again. Dakota placed their free hand on your cheek and made you look back to them.

"I love you so fucking much Kota. You don't even know. I'm sorry. This is probably a lot on top of me finding out about probably your biggest secret and the... Y'know." Dakota shook their head. "Its all been so overwhelming. I'm honestly surprised I haven't passed out yet." You let a small huff of a laugh pass as they pulled your face closer to theirs. "You seemed to have calmed down a lot." You mumbled out.

Dakota nodded. "Yeah. I guess I'm... Relieved... I've known you long enough that I know you when you aren't feigning truths." They pause for a moment. You took this moment to observe their tear stained face. "(Y/n). I dont ever want you to leave me." Their voice had been shaky since you found out about them being a Satyr but it was even worse when they said that. "I couldn't truly live if you weren't in my life Kota."

They looked at you with wide eyes. "Sorry, said something weird didnt-" You were cut off by a pair of soft lips against yours. You carefully kissed back, tangling your hand in their soft, fuffy hair. The second both of you pulled away, Dakota smiled and pulled you into a tight hug. "Kota-" "I think him breaking up with me was the best decision ever." You furrowed your brows, really confused.

"What? Why? I though you two were happy together." Dakota nodded. "I was happy. But I also saw how unhappy you were. A-and it made me realize... Just how much I wanted to make you happy because you make me happy." You couldn't say anything but just looked at them with surprise. "Can I... Can I kiss you?" You asked quietly. Dakota laughed and nodded, pulling you into a kiss.

Your hands decided to test the waters a bit and you gently ran a hand through the soft fur that coat their leg. They shivered and gripped onto your shirt, leaning into the kiss more. You pulled away and let your hand linger on their thigh. "Did... Did you really mean it when you said that you liked me more knowing I was a Satyr?" You blushed and laughed awkwardly while looking away. "Yeah... I didn't realize I said that out loud."

Dakota let out a gentle laugh and pulled you into a tight hug. "Let's take a nap, I'm tired after crying so much..." You nodded and kissed their neck softly as the two of you laid down.

"Please stay by my side."

I originally started this one shot at the paragraph that starts at "Your body stood ridgid with shock." so sorry if everything above it seemed weird-

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1890

[parkerslatte]

Someone Like Me

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: Y/N has liked Spencer since she joined the BAU a few months ago. He likes her too and is surprised when she asks him out on a date.

MASTERLIST

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It had been a couple of months since Y/N had joined the BAU. In those two months she had become close friends with every member, however she had become quite close friends with one Dr. Spencer Reid in particular. Due to their closeness in age, the two were obviously drawn to one another. Of course due to them being close friends and close in age, it came with a lot of teasing from the other team members - especially Derek Morgan. 

“Hey, Spence!” Y/N greeted as she walked into work that day. 

He looked up from the files on his desk and gave her a smile. Y/N stepped behind his chair before leaning down to hug him, her head resting on his shoulder. Y/N would do this everyday and Spencer wouldn’t mind. The first time she had ever done it, everyone expected the genius to awkwardly tell her that he doesn’t hug or really touch anyone for that matter. To their surprise, Spencer accepted the hug, even reaching up his own hand to wrap gently around her wrist. 

Y/N unwound her arms from around Spencer and perched on the end of his desk, folding her arms across his chest, “So, the new episode of Doctor Who comes out tonight, you wanna come round and watch it with me?”

Spencer, who wasn’t normally invited to things, especially when it was a one on one thing, raised his eyebrows in surprise. Before he had the chance to answer however, Y/N spoke up again.

“If you already have plans, I completely understand.” 

“No, no,” Spencer said before clearing her throat, “I mean I don’t have plans. I’d love to come.” 

A wide smile stretched across Y/N’s face, “Great, you want to head back to my place after work? Unless you need to go back to yours first.”

“Um, no I don’t. Going straight to yours if perfectly fine.” Spencer replied.

Y/N stood up straight, “Good, now I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve gotta help Penelope with something.” Y/N placed her hand on Spencer’s shoulder and didn’t remove it until she was too far away.

Spencer watched her walk away until he couldn’t see her anymore before turning back to his desk to find Derek Morgan looking at him. 

“What?” Spencer asked, oblivious.

“Come on kid.” Derek replied and Spencer didn’t reply, signaling to Derek that he had no idea what he was hinting. Derek sighed before continuing, “She likes you.”

“What? No she doesn’t.” Spencer replied, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. 

“Reid, you’re a profiler, how can you not tell?” Derek said, “She always goes out of her way to talk to you. She always greets you with a hug and the looks she gives you when she thinks nobody is watching? They’re clear signs she likes you. You should ask her out.”

“I’m not going to ask her out.” Spencer replied, flicking through his paperwork.

“And why’s that?” 

“Because she doesn’t like me okay? Can we just drop the subject?” Spencer responded before focusing on his paperwork.

Derek, who knew that Spencer wasn’t going to talk anymore about the topic, sighed before going back to his paperwork. 

***

Later that day, Y/N welcomed Spencer into her apartment. Spencer had never been to her apartment before so he couldn’t help himself but look around it. Her apartment was homely, and felt lived in. It was bright and cosy. What caught his eye however, was the many different books she had stacked around her apartment. 

“Sorry about the mess. I didn’t really have time to clean last night,” Y/N apologised, “Make yourself at home. I’m just going to change into something a little more comfortable.” Spencer took a seat on her couch which was covered in many different colour blankets and waited for her to return. 

A couple of minutes passed by and Y/N walked out of her bedroom in what looked like her pajamas. She slumped on the couch next to Spencer. She brought her legs up and tucked them under herself, getting comfortable. She leant forward and grabbed the remote, switching on her television. Her knee brushed his leg slightly every time she moved, causing Spencer’s focus to change from the screen to her. 

Y/N noticed this and turned her head to face Spencer, “What?”

Spencer, realising that he had gotten caught, cleared his throat, “Oh, nothing. I just thought I saw something.” He lied and Y/N could see right through it. Instead of questioning it, she let the episode play. 

Over the course of the episode, Y/N had found that she had gradually moved closer to Spencer due to her constant shuffling. Her shoulder brushed his and her knee was now fully pressed against his. 

Spencer could barely concentrate on the episode. He had been close to Y/N before but never when the two were alone together. The feeling of her knee pressed against his and the gentle brush of her shoulder was almost enough for him to get up and leave and run away from his feelings.

The credits rolled signaling the end of the episode. Spencer was glad, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could take being in close proximity to Y/N. She swung her legs and stood up, stretching her body. Spencer looked away when her t-shirt rode up to reveal a bit of her stomach. 

Y/N checked the clock on the wall, “Oh my god!” She exclaimed, “It’s midnight.”

Spencer, who hadn’t realised the time, looked at the clock on the wall and sure enough it was midnight. He stood up from the couch, “I should be getting home, it’s late and we have to be at work early in the morning.”

“You can stay here for the night. It’s late and by the time you get back to your apartment it’ll be even later.” Y/N rambled.

Spencer thought about it for a moment. By the time it would take him to get home it would be about one in the morning. He was feeling tired now and he knew that by the time he would get home,he would be wide awake. 

“We can leave earlier in the morning so you can pick up some clothes from your apartment.” Y/N added.

Spencer took one more moment before nodding, causing Y/N to smile, “I think I have some clothes that’ll fit you so you can sleep in something comfortable. I’ll just go and get them.”

Spencer nodded before taking a seat on her couch, he guessed that it would be his bed for the night. Not that he was complaining, the couch was comfortable. Y/N returned with a pile of folded clothes in his hand and handed them to Spencer. He went to get changed in the bathroom before returning and began walking over to the couch.

“Where are you going?” Y/N questioned.

“To the couch?” Spencer asked confused.

“No, you can share my bed. That couch may look comfortable but after a few hours of laying on it, it gives you an awful pain in the neck.” Y/N said, taking Spencer’s hand, leading him to her bedroom.

Spencer, felt his face begin to heat up at the thought of sharing a bed with Y/N. He knew that she would see it as totally platonic but he would see it a completely different way. 

She laid down in the bed first and patted the space next to her. Reluctantly, Spencer climbed in the space next to her. They faced each other as they laid there. Y/N began to reach forward and Spencer recoiled slightly.

“Relax.” She muttered before pulling his glasses off his face and placing them on the nightstand. Spencer had completely forgotten he was wearing them until Y/N had taken them off. 

“You have really nice eyes,” Y/N said to Spencer, “They’re kind.”

“Um, thanks.” Spencer muttered quietly, a blush forming on his face. 

“Spencer, can I ask you a question?” Y/N asked.

“Of course.” Spencer replied.

“Will you go out on a date with me?” 

Spencer fell into a state of shock. Y/N had asked him to go out on a date. He was confused by why Y/N would want to go out with him in the first place. 

“What?” Spencer asked slowly, wondering if he misheard her. 

“I asked if you wanted to go out on a date with me? It’s totally fine if you don’t want to, I understand.” Y/N rambled.

“No, of course I want to,” Spencer replied, still quite shocked, “But why?”

“Why what?” Now it was Y/N’s turn to be confused.

“Why would you want to go out on a date with me?” 

Y/N’s eyes softened, “Because Spencer Reid. You are the most incredible person I’ve ever met,” Y/N started and continued to list off things that she admired about him. 

Spencer was listening intently, trying to process what Y/N was saying to him. He would’ve never thought that the person he liked would be saying all this to him.

“And not to mention, he is incredibly handsome.” Y/N finished.

“W-what?” Spencer questioned.

“I said that you are incredibly handsome Dr. Reid.” Y/N replied, her hand gently coming up to caress his cheek.

Spencer couldn’t help the smile that fell onto his face as Y/N’s thumb gently ran across his cheek. Y/N had a smile on her face as well, she had felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders after she had asked him on a date.

“So, are you free tomorrow night?” Y/N muttered. It was only now that she had realised that she had gotten closer to him. Their bodies were nearly completely touching. Spencer had one of his arms draped over her body while the other had begun to play with the ends of her hair. 

“For you Y/N, I’m free anytime.” Spencer said smiling.

[korpikorppi]

The Untamed costumes extra

Wei Wuxian's iconic red underwear

Before I continue the actual series of posts looking into the character costumes, I thought I'd take a quick look at Wei Wuxian's signature red underwear. He wears this combo with so many of his outfits that it is easier to have a separate post to link back to than repeat these things each time (I am being lazy 😁).

Ok. Let's first repeat my very limited, Wikipedia-stolen knowledge on hanfu underwear. The innermost layer (inner garments, the actual underwear, I guess) typically comprises the zhongyi (中衣) or zhongdan (中單): a pair of underpants and an undershirt. Like you can see Wei Wuxian wearing here:

Even though here he is wearing a white undershirt that is most likely one of Lan Zhan's ❤. Anyway, moving on.

A separate, typically pleated skirt, chang (裳), seems to be standardly worn over the shirt and pants, under the middle layer (the inner robe). According to the Wikipedia article, the skirt can also be considered as part of the middle layer (or one of the middle layers), but in these costume posts I have always clumped it with the underwear, the inner(most) layer.

So onto The Red Underwear (I've also seen this called The Red Robe of Sin, which is quite adequate), of which we of course get the first proper view in the cave of the Xuanwu in episode 13.

So, a full-body view (unfortunately quite blurry in this blow-up). A red shirt, and a red skirt (some of the pleats can be seen below his hand), all good. A nice hole above the heart (I'll get back to that).

Black underpants, typical of Wei Wuxian. Poor Wangji, the hardships he has to endure 😁.

We get another good look at Wei Wuxian in his underwear Wei Wuxian's underwear in episode 23, when he is recuperating in Lanling from his use of the Jin Tiger Seal during the Sunshot Campaign.

The first thing to note is his figure the fact that what he is wearing is not a shirt, but actually a full length robe! The second thing to note is that Wangji has clearly gotten used to the idea of Wei Wuxian in his underwear. The third is that Wei Wuxian is demurely holding the neck of his robe closed, awww. Now compare this to when he was talking with shijie a bit earlier:

Lan Zhan is making him feel a bit self conscious ☺. Here we can see that he is clearly not wearing a separate undershirt; the same is true for the Xuanwu cave, I think, because there is nothing visibe either at the neckline or at the hole made by the branding iron. So he seems to be wearing an underrobe instead of an undershirt. And just a note that the colour is an exact match with his hair ribbon, nice.

The red robe really is full length, with a beautiful drape (material is silk satin, perhaps). And he is wearing black underpants again (if he wasn't, he probably wouldn't be sitting like that... ok, moving on).

A side view. From this it looks like there might be splits at the sides, but I really cannot say for sure. Those would add freedom of movement.

I also started thinking if he actually does wear a separate skirt on top of this robe. It looks like that from the Xuanwu scenes, but I wanted further confirmation. So I took a sidestep to bts material. This material, particularly:

Poor me, the hardships I have to endure 😶. And yes, he is definitely wearing a pleated skirt over the robe. The upper edge of the skirt is clearly visible at the waist (that waist 🥵!), as are the pleats.

I also think that it is possible to see both the skirt and the hem of the under robe in this shot, draped over his right boot, with a slight difference in the colour and sheen of the fabrics. So it seems Wei Wuxian is wearing two long undergarments (plus the underpants!) beneath his middle and outer layers (at least with some of his outfits). No wonder poor XZ was suffering from heat!

And this picture? No more reason than him being very pretty and there still being room for one more ❤. But I can perhaps point out that there is some extra length in the sleeves, possibly so that when he wears his armguards, the sleeves can be pulled up a bit leaving some extra fabric and more room for movement at the elbow. There.

[nxrthmizu]

love in bubble wraps.

fandom | haikyuu!!

pairing | kuroo tetsurou x reader

genre | fluff

w.c | 1.9k

author's note | based on a real life experience... :)

Love, you think, comes in many forms. Sometimes love is a warm, home-cooked meal that is now cooked at least once a week because you told your mother you liked it. Other times, love is laughing and crying alongside the friends you’ve known since pre-school because everyone passed their highschool finals with flying colours. Throughout our lives, we gradually come to meet the different forms of love, because it comes in all shapes, colours, and sizes.

First, we learn that love is a roof that you can always turn to when a storm blows in. Then, we learn that love is knowing that there are people who will drop everything to help you when your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. Lastly, we learn to interlock our fingers with the one we wish to walk to the end of time with.

Then again, love varies from person to person— Just like how the goddess of love, Aphrodite, looks different to every soul that sets its sights on her; Beauty truly lies in the eye of the beholder. For some, love comes in the form of a warm body to cuddle next to on a rainy day. For others, love comes in the form of a jewelled ring. For you, love comes in the form of a 6’2 man who still doesn’t know how to tame his bedhead.

Tetsurou is often too busy for his own good, always running around here and there to secure contracts, ensuring that Japan can make a name for itself during the Olympics. He books train tickets to opposite ends of Japan at least once a month, leaving before the sun rises and returning after it sets. The sun never dictates his work day, because while his coworkers work from nine to five, Tetsurou works until he finishes his tasks.

Okay, so your husband is a bit of a workaholic. And maybe not just a bit.

“L/N-san,” Your colleague asks one day out of sheer curiosity. A group of women are gathered around the snack station, sipping on cheap, machine-produced instant coffee as they gossip about their marital lives instead of working. “Now that I think about it… I’ve never met your husband, have I?”

“Ah,” You sweat-drop nervously at this. Wonderful— Your parents are already pressuring you about how Kuroo rarely visits with you— And now your coworkers, too? “He’s quite busy. He works very hard to make sure that we’ll be well-off in the future.” You respond, knowing that your reply is just a thinly-veiled way of saying ‘He’s rarely home,’.

“Oh, that’s awful,” Wherever you go, there’s always a middle-aged lady who has nothing better to do than to prey on the weak spots of your life, “It must feel lonely. You must feel so sad when you see my husband pick me up from work.” A smirk dances up her lips as she waits for you to walk into her trap, smiling as widely as a spider watching its incoming meal.

“Not really,” A practiced smile counters hers as you take a sip of your coffee. “I know Tetsurou loves me— There’s an unbreakable trust between us. He might not be home often, but I know that he’s working hard so that we can have a better tomorrow… And that’s sort of comforting, in a sense. Knowing that Tetsurou wishes for a future where we’re financially stable, where we can just spend a whole day doing nothing in each other’s presence…”

A chorus of ‘awws’ makes you blush. Out of the corner of your eye, you see the middle-aged coworker huff in failure. You mentally fist-pump the air at your victory.

“Anyway, I heard that you got engaged last weekend, Shiho-san,” Changing the topic quickly, you smile when the attention of all the ladies instantly redirects to the said woman, who blushes fiercely as they all coo at her ring. “Congratulations!”

“Oh my! He bought you such a beautiful ring… Ah, Shiho-san, you’re so lucky!”

“My husband also bought me a new bag last week,” The middle-aged woman chips in proudly, cocking her head towards her cubicle, where the leather handbag sits atop a tower of documents. “It’s very expensive.”

“That’s nice of him! It’s been forever since my husband bought me something.” Sighs another lady. Most of the group hums in agreement, sharing sympathetic looks with those that share the same fate.

“At the beginning, when we were still dating, Hayato used to buy me so many things, now…” The coworker that brings homemade cookies every New Years’ party says, looking dejected. “It’s like once we’re married, they don’t have to worry about making us happy anymore…”

“Ah, what about you, L/N-san? Does your husband buy you things often?”

You groan internally when the attention shifts to you once more. Honestly, you’re just there to listen and enjoy your coffee— Must you keep getting dragged into the conversation? “Well, personally I don’t really need my husband to buy me things to keep me happy, but… He does bring back trinkets whenever he travels.” You think about it for a while, then brighten when you remember the latest thing Tetsurou brought back for you.

“What is it?” Your change in expression isn’t missed by your coworkers, who preen with curiosity, excited to know what made you brighten up.

“Ah, it’s nothing… I promise, you’ll be disappointed if I tell you.” You chuckle.

“Come on!” “Be a good sport, L/N-san!” “We’re curious now, you can’t not tell us!”

“Oh, fine.” You sigh, “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

──────── ⋆⋅❉⋅⋆ ────────

[ Three days ago, Saturday ]

You were on the couch, binge-watching Grey’s Anatomy with the Netflix subscription Tetsurou got for you to occupy yourself with while he was out of town. Your cat, Kazume (nicknamed after your husband’s best friend) lazed on your lap, yawning once in a while and swatting at the stray threads from your sweater.

Somewhere in between your fifteenth and seventeenth episode, the front door chirped with the sound of someone inserting a key into the lock. You perked up at the noise, Kazume yelping in protest as he almost slipped off.

“Oh, sorry Kazu.” You said quickly, a smile widening your lips as the front door opened.

“I’m ho—” Before your husband could finish his sentence, you were already at his side. Kazume meowed loudly from the couch, complaining about you abandoning him for another man. Tetsurou’s eyes softened, the edges of his hazel irises worn down by exhaustion. You took his laptop bag from him, as well as the folders he has in hand, balancing them like how you would balance your three grocery bags when Tetsurou wasn’t around to help. “I missed you too, but are you sure you can carry all of my files with one hand?”

“Yes!” You replied confidently, showcasing your balance as you wobbled through the living room with all of your husband’s stuff. Tetsurou’s laugh echoed through the apartment as he followed you, his reflexes coming into play as he dived for a falling file. “Oops.” You giggled, helping him up after he practically hurled himself at the floor.

Tetsurou shook his head, sighing fondly while he hugged you from the back, taking comfort in the familiar smell of your hair shampoo. “I missed you.” He mumbled.

“Me too.” You hummed, reaching back to stroke your hands through his still-untamed bedhead.

“Oh, before I forget,” Tetsurou leapt up suddenly, chucking his backpack onto the ground. “I brought back something for you!”

“I already have like, twenty-five keychains from Hyogo,” You reminded him, “Please tell me it’s not a…” Your voice trailed off when Tetsurou proudly whipped his gift from his backpack, hazel eyes shining for your reaction.

“... So?” Tetsurou grinned widely, like a five-year-old child holding up his drawing for his mother to critique.

“Oh my god, I love you.” You declared in your 80 sq ft kitchen, grabbing the gift from him. “I’ll clean up your stuff, go take a bath and we can have dinner while watching the…'' You pursed your lips as you try to recall the information that kept evading you like an annoying fly. “... 15th? 16th episode of Grey’s.”

“You started that without me? I said I wanted to watch that.” Tetsurou pouted petulantly like a child.

“I finished all the other stuff I wanted to watch,” You told him unapologetically. “And Kazume wanted to watch it too. Now hurry and take a bath or I’m starting without you.”

Twenty minutes later, you were cuddled up to your husband, who did not bother to comb his hair (“It’ll just be messy later anyway,” His reasoning was). Every few seconds, he would scoop some cold mash potato out of the giant bowl (The two of you were too impatient to heat it with the microwave) and feed you. All throughout the episode, there was the constant pop-pop-pop of you working your way through the giant piece of bubble wrap Tetsurou had brought home for you.

“You know, I was thinking,” You hummed as Tetsurou pressed ‘Next Episode’. “If It were any other woman, they might have slapped you for bringing just bubble wrap home after a whole week away.”

“Well, then I’m lucky that you aren’t ‘any other woman’, am I?” Your husband smiled, pressing a gentle kiss onto your lips before picking up the mash potato bowl again. “Are we just going to have mashed potatoes for dinner?”

“I bought spicy instant noodles yesterday, we can have that later if you want.”

──────── ⋆⋅❉⋅⋆ ────────

[ Present, Tuesday ]

“That’s actually so sweet of him!” Your colleague coos as you finish your story. “Wish I had a husband like that…'' Even the middle-aged lady begrudgingly nods in agreement. For a moment, you feel a surge of pride— It was your husband they were talking about— Your sweet, hardworking, dork of a 6’2 bedhead.

“You wouldn’t be able to survive.” Another lady snorts. “That guy is away for weeks at a time.”

You hum. “Well, at least he calls back every night, regardless of how tired he is.” In the corner of your mind, you remember that he makes sure to call his grandmother every weekend, and that he sends his parents (and grandparents) money every month, that he visits your parents the first Sunday after he’s back from his trips— Not to mention that he always brings a gift of wellness products (The most recent one was a box of abalone).

The group of women swoon once more.

“Well, I guess we should get back to work,” You dispose of your paper cup in the trash, brushing your hands off. “See you ladies later.”

The moment you’re back at your desk, you take out your phone to text your husband, who is, no doubt, going to be very, very confused.

[ y/n ] 2.37pm

— we have a problem

[ tetsu <3 ] 2.39pm

— what’s wrong???

[ y/n ] 2.38pm

— i may have accidentally caused 20 women in my office to fall in love with you

[ tetsu <3 ] 2.38pm

— what ???

──────── ⋆⋅❉⋅⋆ ────────

you know it's love when your dad comes home with this giant piece of bubble wrap and your mom literally squeals and snatches it to immediately start popping it on the couch while browsing facebook on her ipad

[blrush]

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (if it was a serious drama with hour long episodes)... Part 1: The Wedding Night

“Presenting, the bridegroom! … Presenting, the bride!”

Ki Wan could feel his heart beating in his throat, and pools of sweat were soaking into his layers of bridal wear. The sun was blistering, his hair was pulled too tight, his face itched from the make-up and it took all his strength not to lower his hands and scratch at it. He kept his arms raised, and angled his face down as much as possible, looking only at the ground instead of the man in front of him. This was absurd, how did he end up here?

The night before, he had gone to visit his sister, only to find her room empty, her wedding robes laid out across the bed, and a note which simply read; “I’m sorry.” He knew immediately that she had run away, and he could not blame her. He’d wanted to run himself so often from their home. Since their mother’s death, the Choi house had remained a desolate and cold place. His sister and himself both kept to themselves, busy with laundry, cutting firewood, mending clothes, cooking, cleaning. Endlessly, day in and day out. In the evening, they were both so tired they would simply sit in companionable silence, reading.

Though the Choi family had always been a noble family, it seemed their father was determined to end that legacy. After their mother passed, he took to drinking and would disappear to the city for days or weeks on end, leaving the teens alone. At first, the house without him was preferable, with their servants around, they didn’t feel the loss of their mother quite so badly. But soon the servants began to leave, first the caretaker, then the cook, then his sister’s handmaid. It became clear their father was gambling away their fortunes. He would arrive home, stumbling out of a carriage, cart, or palanquin blind drunk. Ki Wan knew circumstances were truly dire the night he came home without a footman or transport, simply riding through the gates on horseback, slumped over like a bag of rice.

Without warning one spring morning, he announced that Hwa Jin was to be married into the Ryu family. Ki Wan knew the name, a long standing and large noble family from the neighbouring province. Every business and manor home in those mountains bore the name “Ryu”.

“A nobleman named Ho Seon”, proclaimed their father between mouthfuls, “He needs a young wife, I believe his mother is sick.” He gulped down some soju. “I have made arrangements with his great uncle. He will come for you next week and take you to the Ryu estate to be wed.”

Ki Wan expected an outburst from his sister, she was no wallflower and had always been braver than him. He expected shouting, violence, smashed crockery. Nothing. She sat quietly staring down at her bowl of rice and the measly scraps they were excusing for dinner. She mumbled an acknowledgment, and picked at her food.

Later that night, Ki Wan took a lantern, and went to her room. He knocked gently, and she called to enter. He found her pulling a set of bright red and blue robes from a wooden trunk.

“It was mother’s.” she said. “I don’t even remember her giving it to me, I feel as though I’ve always had it. It just never occurred to me that I might actually have to wear it one day.”

Folded up with the robes were beautiful jewels and hairpins, that seemed to glisten even in the dull flickering candle light.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t sold these.” Ki Wan observed, as he gently held a hair pin made of smooth jade.

“I don’t think he knew they were here.” Replied Hwa Jin.

They both sat staring at the blood red robe. As usual they barely spoke, yet Ki Wan felt he knew what Hwa Jin must be thinking – for his own mind was a tangle of thoughts and flooded with emotion. He thought of the enormity of what was to come, what that dress meant for Hwa Jin, the bitter resentment and sadness she must be feeling toward their father, and how beautiful their mother must have looked herself in that dress.

Their mother had been a true beauty, smiling and warm, she was always full of light and colour. Perhaps he was imagining her more radiantly in his memories. But he will never forget how wrong it was to see her so pale. When she became sick it was as if all the colour drained from the world, and before he knew it, she was gone. Their father began to change. At first, he just seemed sad, but it was as if the sadness became a sickness in itself. He had once been a chubby and jolly sort of man, yet he became spindly and skinny, his skin almost grey. He never hugged them or laughed with them anymore, he barely acknowledged them at all. They felt like ghosts in their own home, each floating around aimlessly, slowly fading away.

Ki Wan opened his hand, the jade hairpin he was holding was now warm. Hmm, it seemed he was still warm – not a ghost after all.

Over the next few days, his sister seemed to retreat even further into herself. She barely left her room or ate, she began neglecting her share of the duties – though Ki Wan couldn’t blame her. If he was to marry some strange man, he would feel fairly distracted and nervous too. In fact, he imagined his sister must be even more scared. As a young man, Ki Wan was afforded certain liberties that she was not, he had accompanied his father before on business through the nearby towns, and had even once been to the capitol. He had attended Seodang school as a boy, been invited to aristocratic gatherings and meetings with his father, he’d slept in inns and toasted with strangers. His sister, as far as he knew, had barely left the house. She grew up completely within the confines of their walled property, took lessons in the garden, and had (perhaps) been into town a handful of times with their mother to buy dresses. But since recently, she had no handmaid to accompany her and was confined to the walls of the Choi residence. Ki Wan suddenly felt a deep sense of regret, for in his own grief, he had never thought to offer help to his sister in this way. She must have felt like a prisoner for years.

And so, when he found her missing, and the note left with the dress, he was not surprised. He felt anger at himself, he had failed her. He had been selfish and blind to her strife. Though he was somewhat fearful for her safety out in the world on her own, he also had faith that she could survive on her own, as she had always been smarter and braver than him. Now, all that remained was to break the news to his father. But should be wait, to give her a head start? Would their father go after her? With what resources? He had no men or horses to chase her, and no clue as to the where she would be headed. Did she have connections they did not know about? An old friend somewhere, or a lover perhaps? Ryu Ho Seon’s great uncle would be arriving in the morning to collect her, should he raise the alarm before then, or feign ignorance of her disappearance? His mind was whirring, but he found himself diligently heading toward his father’s chambers.

He found his father asleep, sitting on the floor slumped over the table. He imagined his father’s shame in the morning, facing some nobleman demanding to know the whereabouts of his daughter. What if he thought Master Choi had been lying about the existence of such a daughter? Ki Wan realised how pathetic his father had become, and yet, he was still his father.

“Father! Wake up. Father!” He jostled him awake, by shaking his shoulder.

“Hmmmm?!?? Wha, what?” Ki Wan waited for his father to wake properly and look at him.

“Hwa Jin is gone. She has run away.”

“WHAT!?” His father burst upright, waving his arm up frantically and catching Ki Wan on the jaw. “WHAT!? GONE!?!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?”

“She left a note. She has run away.” He tried to explain, holding his jaw, checking his lip for blood.

“STUPID SELFISH GIRL! DOES SHE KNOW WHAT SHE’S DONE!!?” He was yelling at no one in particular, gesturing wilding around the room. Ki Wan waited for him to calm down. Eventually, after some incoherent swearing and mumbling, his father sat back down, unsteadily, at the table. With his head in his hands he mumbled again …

“She doesn’t know what she’s done.” He sounded completely crest-fallen. Through deep breathes, he was fighting back tears, mumbling again “She was meant to save us… the marriage … going to save us….she ….left … abandoned us.”

“Father, what do you mean? Father?” His father’s passionate outburst seemed to have drained him, and he was beginning to fall asleep once more, Ki Wan kept gentling jostling his arm trying to keep him conscious.

“The deal…” he murmured into his sleeve. “…money… we’re finished… I… failed you.”

As his father fell asleep, Ki Wan wiped the tears and alcohol off his face.

Sitting in the cold room, whilst his father snored, Ki Wan tried to put together what his father had said. A deal. Of course, why else would he suddenly marry Hwa Jin off now, so suddenly. He must had brokered some sort of deal with this great uncle Ryu, perhaps an old acquaintance or friend of his father, or more likely, a gambling buddy to whom he had lost one too many wagers. A young, energetic, pretty, fertile, noble bride for his great-nephew in exchange for what, a set price, an amount of gold, an annual living wage? Whatever the price, his father would have no choice but to take it, they had nothing and all three of them would soon be starving.

But what was the catch? Young, eligible noble women were normally married off with a dowry themselves, and even though the Choi family had fallen somewhat into disrepute, Hwa Jin was still a noble woman by birth. So, this begged the question, what was so horribly wrong with Nobleman Ryu Ho Seon that he could not find a bride himself, that his family were so desperate they were essentially marrying HIM off with a dowry instead?

As dawn broke, Ki Wan sat in his sister’s room, carefully applying make-up and attempting to fix his hair into some upright fashion. This was a disaster, what was he thinking? But the faces of his mother and father from a decade ago, smiling happily at him was all he could think of. Perhaps it was some sense of lingering loyalty to his mother’s memory, or misguided pity for his father – but he had decided the only way forward, to save himself and his father, was to keep up his father’s end of the bargain.

He attempted to style his long hair into a low bun as he had seen his sister do, but his skills were limited, and the bun kept falling out, he couldn’t get the pins to sit in the right places. He looked a mess, but it would have to suffice, he would have to rely on the illusion of the clothes and hope that no one looked too closely.

A group of men carrying a set of palanquin came into the courtyard, and a middle-aged woman climbed out. She was very brisk and formal, she greeted him curtly.

“Miss Choi Hwa Jin, I presume? I’m Master Ryu Jin-Yeong’s secretary. It’s a long ride back, so you’d better hop in. Have you relieved yourself this morning? You should do, the road up to the mountains is bumpy and will take many hours.”

Ki Wan was taken aback by her manner, but nodded politely, and kept looking at his feet. He figured, if he could hide his neck he might pass as a woman. People had often commented on how he and his sister could have been twins, and when he was younger he was teased for being too small and dainty. His sister had once said that it was a shame they weren’t sisters, for he would have made such a pretty girl with such a small face, yet instead he looked awkward as a spindly sort of boy, and would never be considered truly attractive to noble women, who liked men with broad shoulders and strong bone-structure. These sort of rude comments and confused compliments never bothered Ki Wan much, as romance, courting and marriage had never really appealed to him in the first place. He never imagined himself marrying a woman, though he certainly never imagined himself marrying AS a woman either.

Before climbing into the palanquin, his father came down from his quarters, and pulled him in for a very stilted but tight hug. He had told his father his plan this morning, though he wasn’t sure how much of it his father fully comprehended. He looked even sadder than he had the night before. Ki Wan hated to think of his father left alone here, drinking away his sorrows without anyone left to watch over him. Though, at this point, the alternate prospect, of staying - only to slowly starve to death together - was far worse. Yet, when he came down to bid Ki Wan farewell, he seemed completely sober. He grasped Ki Wan tightly, then let go just as quickly, and gave him a look that seemed to convey such gratitude and depth of desperation that Ki Wan had to look away, and quickly climb into the carriage to prevent himself from crying.

The ride was indeed bumpy, and after an hour or so Ki Wan began to feel exceedingly nauseous. He didn’t want to ask to stop, for he feared his voice would give his disguise away. He also suspected they were on a strict time schedule, and that Master Ryu’s secretary would not allow it. Finally, after yet another hour or so, they came to a stop by a ravine. The men clambering down to splash themselves with water and relieve themselves by some trees. Ki Wan tentatively stepped out to stretch his legs.

Though he tried not to look towards his chaperone, he could feel her gaze upon him. Suddenly she moved toward him.

“Tsk! This is what comes of no mother or handmaids. Your hair is a mess. Stay still.” She then vigorously took to re-styling his hair. Once she was satisfied, she ordered him back inside the bridal palanquin and they set off once again.

~ ~ ~

“Presenting, the bridegroom!”

Ki Wan could feel himself shaking. It had been hours since he had anything to eat or drink, and the fear of getting caught was worsening by the minute.

“Presenting, the bride!” He forced his legs to move and stepped forward.

The ceremony passed in a blur, all he felt was nausea and all he could see was the endless enveloping dancing colours of his dress sleeves as he tried to stay focused on not being sick. At some point his hands were washed, he was plied with alcohol, poked and prodded by Ryu family members. The ceremony was blessedly short, considering there was no Choi family represented, many of the traditional customs were skipped.

The wedding felt very business-like and rushed, perhaps the Ryu’s themselves were all aware that this was somewhat of a sham wedding. The only person who seemed particularly enthusiastic was the mother of the bridegroom, who was buzzing around attending to important ceremonial elements and guiding Ki Wan around. At one point, she put a reassuring hand gently on Ki Wan’s back as she quietly instructed him that he needed to bow six times. He felt calmed by this small gesture, and a pang of guilt ran through him for tricking this nice old lady, who seemed so excited about getting a nice young daughter in law.

~ ~ ~

In the evening, Ki Wan found himself alone for the first time with the bridegroom. His new “husband”. What was he to do? In the intimate space of the bridal house, there was no way Ho Seon wouldn’t notice that there was something wrong with his bride. They sat in silence.

Ki Wan could hear the sounds of his own breath, his arms ached from holding them above his face for hours on end – he desperately wanted to lower them.

“밥 먹었어요? Have you eaten?” Ho Seon broke the silence. “It’s okay. You can relax. Would you like something to eat? I’m starving.” Ki Wan could hear him fiddling with the plates of food at the table, and pouring liquor. He sounded…. young. Younger than Ki Wan had assumed. So, he wasn’t too old to be considered eligible… hmmm it must have been something else. Perhaps he was hideously disfigured, or scarred? Graphic images flashed around Ki Wan’s imagination. He would have to look, eventually…

“It’s a bit strange isn’t it.” Ho Seon continued, keeping up his one-sided chatter. “Marrying someone you’ve never met.”

“Mmm,” Ki Wan agreed, giving a quiet murmur and nod of the head.

“I’m sorry this has all been so rushed. My family seemed determined that I should marry, and before I knew it they said they had found me a bride!” He took a swig of alcohol.

Ki Wan was still frozen, craving food but not wanting to let his guard down.

“I mean, not that I don’t want to marry you … I mean, I’ve never met you… it’s a bit… you know…” He poured himself another cup.

Perhaps, Ki Wan thought, if Ho Seon drank enough, he could avoid a confrontation entirely! Maybe he could lie, and tell Ho Seon in the morning that they had consummated their marriage, and that Ho Seon was simply too drunk to remember?

“Ughh. Sorry I feel like I’m making this worse. I don’t know what to say.” Another drink. “Could you… I mean… you can show me your face now – we’re alone. If you want to, I mean. You seem scared. I hope you’re not scared of me. I promise I won’t… do anything.”

Ki Wan steeled himself, and slowly lowered his arms just a fraction, so that he could see Ho Seon. Their eyes met for a moment, and Ki Wan quickly averted his gaze down again. No scars, no disfigurement, Ho Seon was the picture of health. Handsome and youthful, his warm brown eyes glimmering from the alcohol.

Another pang of guilt. Ho Seon looked so innocent. Evidently, he knew nothing of his family’s under-hand dealings, or that his bride had been bought for him. He was like an overexcited puppy, full of nervous energy. Ki Wan’s initial plan, to manipulate or swindle his new husband into either ignorance or compliance started slipping away. He felt the urge to suddenly come clean, to let everything come tumbling out.

He lowered his arms completely, and felt a wave of relief wash over him. He expected Ho Seon to suddenly jump back in fright, or exclaim “NAMJA! A MAN!” But his reveal inspired no such reaction. He looked up at Ho Seon who was gazing back at him.

“Oh.” Ho Seon sighed through a tipsy smile, “You’re beautiful.”

Ki Wan’s breath stopped in his throat. This was not what he planned. Was Ho Seon so drunk that he could not tell Ki Wan was a man? Or was Ki Wan’s disguise more convincing than he had thought it would be? Perhaps it was the bridal make-up and adornments?

Before he could properly regain his breath, or think of something to say, Ho Seon was reaching out a hand toward his face. Ki Wan wanted to swat it away, but something in the earnest look on Ho Seon’s face stopped him from moving. Ho Seon gingerly reached across the table, and his fingers softly brushed Ki Wan’s cheek, just near his ear, and only for a moment. But the touch was enough to send goose-bumps shooting down Ki Wan’s neck and arms. He must have made a noise, because Ho Seon quickly drew back his hand to the table, and poured himself another drink.

~ ~ ~

TBC (Next Parts Here}

Authors Note: Sorry this is unbeta’d atm. So this started as a bit of fun and has already gotten out of hand. As you can see I have completely re-written my own reasons for the wedding because I couldn’t stand the lack of explanation or logic in the show haha 

So far this is all just like filling the blank plot-holes of the first episode. But I’m excited to get to the cute stuff, and can’t wait to write some heavy sexual tension and mutual pining as their marriage develops.

Let me know if you guys enjoy it, and I will try to write more asap! Feel free to send prompts too if you want!

Enjoy!

[watermelonsugar2612]

'MY DREAM WEDDING'

Chapter 1: 'You're serious?"

Author's note: Heya! I’m writing a new Hinny fic, all the way from the proposal to the wedding. It will have 10-15 chapters I think! Let me know if you like it and if I should continue!! <33

It was 1 am. Harry and Ginny had just had sex. They both lay on top of each other in a heap of limbs, panting. “I love you Gin,” Harry said as he stole a soft kiss from Ginny. “Me too,” she let out a satisfied sigh. “Set the alarm, we’ll go running tomorrow. 7 am, sharp! I have practice from 9:30 and your training starts at 10,” she instructed. “Aye aye captain.” Harry replied in a lost but wonderful tone. He picked up the alarm clock and twisted a few knobs. “Mmmm… I’ve set the alarm baby,” he said as he pulled Ginny back onto the bed while she was trying to put on her robe. The half-untied robe fell off her shoulders and she lay completely naked on top of Harry. “No Harry! We just finished,” she whined in an explanatory attitude, she tried to pull away but his grip was too tight, “Harry! We have an early day tomorrow, no!” she whined even more. “Okay, I’ll let you go but we both sleep just like this tonight? Deal?” he grinned cockily. “Like this? What do you mean?” she thought for a second and her mouth rounded in shock, “Completely naked?!” she gave him a questioning look and shouted. “You heard me right! Just. like. This.” his grin spread to both his ears. “Fine!” she gave up and muttered, “prat.” Harry had heard her, he pulled her down onto his lips in a greedy kiss, full of hunger. As soon as he felt her getting lost in the kiss, he pulled away. “Not fair!” she cried. He laughed and pulled her onto the bed beside him, spooning her, one hand on her breast, the other on her thigh. She gave out a satisfied sigh. Both of them were utterly spent, every ounce of their body was ready to give in, to sleep, but somehow neither of them could give in to the temptation. They lay there silently feeling each other's presence, it was enough, they were happy, complete. “Gin, will you marry me?” Harry broke the ice. Ginny turned her head and looked into his beautiful bespectacled green eyes, in utter panic, “Gin, would you like to have another round of sex? Or Gin, do you want to organise a party at Grimmauld Place? Or Gin, do you want to go to dinner? Or Gin, do you want to go on vacation, would’ve been- acceptable! It's 3 in the morning, Harry James Potter! You want to marry me?” she blurted out. “I’m sorry Gin- I- Please don’t leave me, I was just wondering if you would- I saw a future, I’m sorry if I’m going too fast! I’m such a git we’ve only been dating for 2 years- sorry. I’ll wait for as long as you want… sorry Gin, what can I do to make it up to you?” he stammered. Ginny instantly regretted her panic, truth be told, she was waiting for him to talk about marriage, what had she done!? “Shit.” she muttered, “Harry, Bubba, I’m so sorry-” she said as she felt tears well up in both his and her eyes. She immediately engulfed him in a hug. Still tightly embraced, she said softly into his ear, “I’ll marry you, I’ve always wanted that,” she snorted softly and pulled away, “I love you,” she said into the kiss. He pulled away and looked deep into her chocolate eyes as if he was looking at her soul, “Gin, you are the most incredible, most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, everything with you is so much better than it could’ve been with anyone else in the entire world. When I'm with you I- I feel complete. The passion we share, the amount we love each other, and care for each other, I don’t think it's possible to do that with anyone else. I realise, this isn’t any girl's dream proposal, hell, I don’t even have a ring for you, and we’re naked, in bed! And, 'm sorry to just blurt it out like that, but if you’re serious about marrying me, I’m the happiest man in the world.” he said. “Oh, Harry! My sweet, sweet Harry! I love you so much, I don’t think it’s possible to love anyone as much as I love you! Yes, I’m serious, I want to marry you, love!” she replied with a large smile on her pink face. “You’re serious?” he muttered again. “Yes I’m serious, and honestly, I’ve kinda imagined my boyfriend asking me to marry him after we had hot steamy sex.” she winked. “Oh, one more thing before we finally sleep, can we not tell the family until we

have rings and also can we give them a different version of the story, because if your brothers find out this is when I proposed, they might kill me.” he chuckled. They both laughed and as soon as their heads fell to the bed, both of them fell asleep, now feeling much more complete than they ever had before.

***

The alarm rang all of a sudden and Harry opened his eyes slowly, taking in the sight of the gorgeous redhead lying naked beside him on his bed. “Morning baby,” he hummed softly. “Morning to you too, Fiancee dearest,” she muttered, still half-asleep. They both laughed and Ginny gave Harry a quick and sloppy kiss. “Would you like to go running with me Ms Weasley?” Harry grinned. “Let’s see? Would you like to marry me, Mr Potter?” She tried hard not to laugh and played along. “Why, of course!” he chuckled, “Then, I shall go running with you.” she laughed and bowed down gracefully putting her hand near his mouth. He took it in his hand, gave a slight bow and brushed his lips against it. Ginny changed into an exercise set, leggings which made her arse look hot and a cropped sweatshirt, in a very light beige colour. Harry wore a pair of loose basketball shorts and a large hoodie on top. This hoodie was his, but it was generally worn by Ginny on movie nights with Harry. Both of them loved it. It was monsoon and they were worried it would rain, but they didn’t pay much attention to it. They stepped out to the pavement outside Grimmauld Place feeling a gust of cool, humid monsoon air blow in their hair. They began running, they talked and laughed. The roads were rather crowded, it was rare to see a couple so randy for each other, even after 2 years. It was visible as both of them ran, how much in love they were, stealing kisses, giving playful nudges, saying that they loved the other every 20 seconds in a way that they thought the other might forget, but the truth being said, the love they felt for each other could never lessen, forgetting was a far way forth. “Gin, do you wanna get some coffee?” Harry panted as they took a brief halt. “Hmm… yes, let’s get coffee,” she caught her breath and hummed. “Let’s go to that muggle cafe you like?” Harry smiled. Ginny nodded and they made their way to a secluded corner and apparated a little away from the cafe. It was called ‘Episode’ and it looked gorgeous. The early morning sunlight fell on its entrance which was green, full of plants. There were tables outside with umbrellas above them and there was a gazebo as well. The signboard of the cafe was covered with vines. They both took a seat in a corner outside. “So, when do you want to go ring shopping?” Harry asked expectantly, “I’m free this weekend. We have an offseason, we don’t have a game for another 3 months, today is just a meeting with our trainers to make sure we are all following our diet.” Ginny shrugged. “Done then, this weekend it is!” Harry pecked her lips as the waiter approached them from behind. “Morning to you sir, ma’am! What can I get you today?” the waiter asked politely and handed them a menu with several beverages written on it. They both glanced through and Ginny spoke up, “Good Morning! I will have a thick and frothy Hazelnut Frappuccino, with extra whipped cream.” she spoke to the waiter and winked at Harry. He grunted and spoke, “I’ll have a shot of espresso, extra hard.” he grinned back at Ginny. The waiter looked lost for words, he cleared his throat and said, “Will that be all?” They nodded and he left. “What was that about Harry?” Ginny asked in a concerned voice, “the waiter was right there!” she whispered in his ear. “Hey! You started it, and just for your information, I’m kind of turned on!” he replied in a panicky voice, saying the end of his sentence into her ear. “A secret, me too!” she whispered back and bit his earlobe softly. He shifted in his seat a bit. Their foreplay continued for a little while and they both tried not to be too conspicuous. After a few minutes, the waiter appeared with their coffee. “There you are, your coffee’s! Call for me when you’re ready to pay.” he put down their coffee and left again. Ginny seductively took a sip of her coffee and a thick layer of whipped cream settled on her upper lip. She was about to lick it off but Harry lurched forward and darted his tongue to her lip. He licked it off in one swipe and Ginny moaned. “Keep it down baby, someone might hear you,” Harry

whispered in a raspy voice in her ear. She sighed and felt a chill run down her spine. “Harry, home. I need you.” she moaned. He ignored everything else, shoved a 20-pound note on the table, which was much more than their bill, but he didn’t care. He pulled Ginny into a corner that wasn’t visible to anyone around and apparated them to 12, Grimmauld Place. They entered the kitchen, both of them completely lost in lust. Harry picked her up as if she weighed nothing and put her down on the counter. He pulled his hoodie off with urgency and she ran her hand on his perfectly toned abs which glistened with beads of sweat. He caught her lips in an urgent kiss. She pulled her top off as well, separating with Harry’s lips for a brief second. Harry moved his hand to the back of her head and pulled off her hair tie. “Quick Harry! I need you inside!” she muttered into the kiss. Harry’s hand went to Ginny’s waistband and he pulled down her pants and knickers, he slowly inserted a finger and she moaned his name. He pulled down his pants and boxers and withdrew his finger, instead, entering her with his cock a second later. They both moaned with the sensation. He completely withdrew and entered her again after a second. He thrust slowly for a few minutes. “Yes! Ah! That’s the spot! Harder!” she moaned and Harry sped up at once. He went at an unbelievable speed and he felt her contract around him, he knew she was about to come. He twisted his hips in a way that made her scream. “Cum for me Gin!” Harry said loudly. “Fuck. Harry!” she shouted into the kitchen and spilt her juices all over Harry and the kitchen floor. Harry kept thrusting, riding out her orgasm and his was triggered soon too. He didn’t stop and caught her lips in a needy kiss. Just as he was about to pull out, someone walked into their house through the chimney. Shit. It was Ginny’s brother, Harry’s best mate, Ron Weasley. Harry immediately pulled out and bent down to pick up his boxers. Luckily, Ginny was still wearing her bra, she bent down to pick up her underwear but it was too late. For both of them. “HARRY JAMES POTTER! YOU ARE A DEAD MAN!” Ron screamed. “Ron, it’s not what it looks like!” Harry said and pushed Ginny away who had engulfed him in a hug from the side as soon as they had heard someone come in through floo. “Do you realise what this looks like Potter?!” he said with widened eyes, “Merlin! Put on some clothes, you two!” he said and walked away to the living room as if calling Harry to sit and talk. “Gin-” he grunted. She laughed and pushed him away, signalling to the living room. He put on his clothes quickly. “Ron-” he tried to talk but Ron cut in, “How dare you!” he shouted, “she’s my sister Harry!” he said. “Ron, she’s my fiance and-” he tried to speak but Ron cut in again, “Fiancee?” he shrieked and stood up from the sofa. “I mean- I- I-” he stuttered and he saw Ginny walk into the room. “Yes! Fiance and he proposed after we shagged last night! Just for a count Ron, we’ve probably had sex more times this week than you have in your whole life.” she grimaced. “What-?” Harry said in a confused voice and signalled toward Ginny. Ron threw glances at both of them who stood on either side of the room. “No Ron, she’s lying, we- we- we-”he continued stuttering. “Okay, Professor Quirrell!” she grinned at Harry and continued, “Ron! It’s all in front of you! Whatcha gonna do?” she laughed. “Gin-”Harry eyed her to stop. “Oh, and if I am telling you my secrets, we’ve even shagged in your room, Ron! At the burrow!” she finished. “My room!?” Ron said with a terrified expression. Harry rolled his eyes. “Whatever Ron! That’s the truth! We’re both consenting adults, there’s nothing you can do! Plus, we’re in love.” he said. “You two are bloody minxes!” he barfed. Ginny winked at Harry. “Fine! I won’t kill you then Harry!” Ron said his eyes now moving from the ceiling to the floor. “As if you had the balls to do that Ronald!” Ginny laughed and walked toward Harry. She stood in front of him and gave him a little kiss, whispering in his ear, “That was amazing.” They both

grinned and Ron looked at them with an expression of pure disgust. “I’d trusted you, Harry! If you end up getting my sister pregnant or something, I will never forgive you!” he whined and continued, “Anyway, when did you get engaged? And when were you going to tell me and ‘Mione?” he finished. “As Gin already mentioned, I proposed last night after we shagged like, 4 times. She said yes, we are going ring shopping on Saturday and we were supposed to tell you after we got the rings and make a more acceptable story, but there you go!” Harry chuckled. “4 times?! Couldn’t you have skipped the details? Bleugh.” he muttered. “Ron! If you don’t want to get your bits hexed, then you better not tell anyone else, except ‘Mione!” Ginny cut in. Ron rolled his eyes. “I’d originally come to tell you lot that me and ‘Mione are having a hang out session tomorrow, at 8 in the evening, it’s been long since we all met, so, I’d come to invite you two. It would be good if you could go shopping today and come up with a better story before it slips out of your mouths. It’s for your good,” he said and shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve taken a leave from work today too, to help ‘Mione with party prep, you should too!” Ron finished. “Well, alright, I wanna be officially engaged to you as soon as I can!” Harry said to Ginny, winked and kissed Ginny who he was still holding from around her waist. Ron gagged again. “Shut up! You just ruined the moment!” Ginny shouted and pulled away. “So? Are you going ring shopping?” Ron asked expectantly. “Hmmm… okay, I’ll call in sick,” Ginny shrugged and Harry held her tighter. “I’ll take a leave too!” Harry said and sat down on the settee with Ginny on his lap. “Where’s ‘Mione though?” Ginny said, looking at Ron. “Oh! She’s coming. She was meeting with one of her colleagues from the Ministry. She’ll floo in any minute now!” Ron replied. “Fancy some breakfast Gin? Ron?” Harry said. “Yes, please! I am starving!” Ginny grinned. “I think I’ve lost my appetite!” Ron said looking at the ever-randy couple in front of him who was now making out. Harry reluctantly pulled away and went to the kitchen. About 10 minutes later Harry walked back into the room with two plates, both with two slices of bread, each topped with a sunny side up and three strips of bacon. He handed one to Ron, “You could never lose your appetite!” he laughed and walked back to Ginny who stood up. He sat down and pulled her back on her lap. She picked up one of the pieces of bread and took it near Harry’s mouth. He took a bite and licked his lips. He did the same to Ginny and Ron looked up from his plate of food now to find Ginny licking Harry’s lips. “I think both of you are bloody capable of eating on your own!” he shouted and they heard the sound of someone coming in through the chimney. Of course, it was Hermione, Ron’s wife and Ginny and Harry’s best friend. She walked in and all of them greeted her with a pleasant hug and Ron with a kiss. They all took their places, now Hermione sat beside Ron on the large sofa in the middle of the room. They all ate and chatted, Ron told Hermione what had happened when he came here and the room filled with giggles from everyone except Ron. They talked for about an hour, “I’m going to go home, prepare for the party?” Hermione said as she got up and pulled Ron with her. They said their goodbyes and Ron and Hermione flooed away. “Now, Fiancee dearest, would you fancy making some calls to your office and mine for a holiday?” she asked, smiling. He nodded and they made their calls. “I’m going to take a shower, then we’re going to go get some rings!” Harry said as he walked into the bathroom. He took a quick shower and as soon as he stepped out, completely naked, Ginny walked in. He pulled her toward him and threw her over his shoulder. They both laughed as Harry put on his boxers. He put her down then and put on the rest of his clothes. Ginny stripped quickly and hopped into the shower. Harry tried not to look because he knew that it wouldn’t be too good if he was turned on while at the shop. He walked out and sat on

the sofa waiting for Ginny. A few minutes later, she walked out, completely naked. “Gin- you, you’re- you’re not wearing a robe or a towel?” he stuttered. “I forgot Harry! It doesn’t matter anyway, we’re going to be married soon!” she said and walked toward Harry, holding a tube of lotion in her hand. “Put this on my back,” she said normally. “But- but- Gin- I- okay-” he kept stuttering and took the tube from her. He looked away and squirted some lotion on her back. He started rubbing slowly in circular motions. “Harry! Do not tell me your awkward! We are going to be married for god’s sake! Shut up and rub it properly.” she shouted. “Yeah- yeah of course, god, I’ve done it before so many times!” he said a little more confident. “Oh my god! This reminds me of our first vacation together! In Long Island, our first trip to the US was together!” Ginny reminisced. Truth be told, Harry’s bulge was harder than ever. In long Island, they had sex inside the ocean, in the depths and it was probably one of the best Harry ever had. It really turned him on. He suppressed it and carried on, now using both of his hands to rub her back and massage her shoulders. He moved her hair and rubbed the bottom of her neck, timely whispering into her ear. Soon later Harry faced Ginny and caught her lips in a needy kiss.

[ghosttotheparty]

the concept of permanence and its effects on the heart

AO3 Annie sighs, placing her now empty cup on the counter beside the sink. It’s dark, and the glass shines and glistens.

I’ll wash it tomorrow.

She rests against the counter, tugging the hair tie from her ponytail before tying it up again. The television in the living room is on (the light from it, flashing and shining, lit her way to the kitchen from her bedroom), and she assumes Abed is asleep on the sofa in front of it. It’s playing Inspector Spacetime. Annie recognises the exaggerated English accents, the sound of lasers being shot at tin. The volume is low.

Annie sighs again, closing her eyes and crossing her arms in front of herself, dropping her head.

It’s been quieter since Troy left.

(Abed is quieter since Troy left.)

She rubs her face, standing up straight and turning to leave the kitchen and shut off the tv. But when she looks into the living room, Abed isn’t asleep. He’s sitting up on the sofa, cross-legged with a blanket pulled around his shoulders. He’s holding it tightly, his fingers rubbing the fabric, and his eyes are shining, glazed, like he’s looking through the screen instead of at it. He doesn’t even look like he’s watching it. He looks like he’s just thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, with the television as background noise, as a distraction.

He looks lonely.

“Hey, Abed,” Annie says gently so she doesn’t startle him, but he startled anyway, looking at her. “Do you know what time it is?”

“Hi,” he responds, almost just whispering. “No, I uh… No.”

“It’s late,” she tells him. It was a little past midnight last she checked as she worked on her forensics essay. “Don’t you think you should go to bed?”

He stares at her, like he’s looking through her, like she’s another screen, before looking away.

“One more episode,” he says.

She pauses, watching as he turns back to the television.

“Hey,” she says after a few seconds. “I haven’t seen Rachel in a while, how’s she doing?”

“We broke up,” he says without hesitating, and she blinks, jerking her chin back in surprise.

“What?”

“Yeah.”

“But…” She shifts on her feet, wondering if she should sit next to him. “I thought you guys were really happy together, I thought you loved each other.”

“We did, it just… sort of fizzled.” He bites his lip, watching the Inspector pull a map out of his pocket, even though it looks too big too fit. “It just felt like we were going through the motions of a relationship. Going through tropes and dates because that’s what we were supposed to do. It didn’t feel like love love.”

“What… What does?”

He sighs, adjusting the blanket.

“It just feels different,” he says. His voice is stronger now. “Better.”

“Abed?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s it feel like to fall in love?”

After a second, he moves on the sofa, shifting closer to the armrest and gesturing subtly beside him. She sits, crossing her legs and facing him. Curious.

“It’s really nice,” he says softly. “It feels like coming home. They’re familiar. And comforting.”

Annie makes a mental note of Abed’s use of they’re, but stays quiet, listening intently.

“They’re safe. Like you can say or do anything and you know they won’t judge you or think you’re weird or want you to stop.” He speaks softly, like he’s forgotten he’s speaking to her, like he’s talking to himself.

“And you trust them,” he continues “Because you know they won’t hurt you. Because you know them and they know you.”

Annie doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t want to interrupt. So she looks away, letting him speak, listening and listening and thinking and thinking.

“And it doesn’t even matter if they don’t feel the same way, or if they don’t know how you feel, or if they could never feel the same way, or…” His voice breaks at never, trembling and snapping like a dry leaf. He shakes his head, furrowing his brows lightly. He’s looking through the screen again.

“Because just being with them is enough. Just being around them, just knowing that they’re there is enough. It’s okay if they don’t feel the same because just existing with them is enough. It’s like floating in the middle of the ocean.”

She looks back at him. His eyes are shinier than before. He doesn’t seem to notice.

“It’s so peaceful and welcoming and beautiful, but it… feels dangerous. Like at any second something might pull you under and drown you.”

He’s quiet.

She doesn’t say anything, waiting for him to continue, waiting for him to tell her something that will tell her yes, it’s exactly what you’re thinking, something that will confirm her suspicions about herself and him. But he doesn’t for a while, watching the screen.

“It sucks,” he says, and his voice cracks like he’s trying not to let it shatter. “It sucks, and I hate it.”

“Why?” she whispers. “It sounds beautiful.”

It does. It sounds amazing. And unfamiliar. She doesn’t think she’s ever felt it before, not with Jeff or Rich or Vaughn or any of the guys she liked in high school.

“It is,” he says. “It’s just… You can’t help it. When you fall there’s nothing you can do to catch yourself. You’re paralysed and you just have to hope for the best. Nothing hurts more than falling and just… crashing. Fucking face planting.”

Annie’s eyes widen. She doesn’t hear Abed talk like this often. He blinks and pulls the blanket tighter around himself.

“There’s nothing you can do,” he repeats softly. His voice becomes thick, softened with the tears flooding his eyes that won’t spill over. “Even when you try to ignore it and pretend it’s something different, something normal, it doesn’t change. And even though it sucks, it’s still beautiful and amazing, because you can just… You find them everywhere. They’re in everything that makes you happy, everything beautiful.”

Annie takes a deep breath, looking away, overwhelmed with realisations and realisations.

“And it sucks because it won’t leave you alone. They won’t leave you alone,” he says, and Annie wants to reach out and touch him. But she doesn’t. “Fucking everywhere. Everywhere I look,” he breathes, “he’s right there.”

Annie’s eyes swell, looking at the screen, and the colours blend and blur until her vision is a bleary mess of shifting blues and reds and shadows and light.

It makes sense.

The blanket from the fort, torn apart the day after Troy left, completely demolished while Annie was out, a pile of blankets and pillows and tape and ties and a melted Abed in the middle of it, curled into himself, clutching at the blue blanket, the same one that’s pulled around him right now.

The days and days Abed spent in the apartment, refusing to even get out of bed.

The red sweatshirt he wore for weeks until Annie convinced him to take it off long enough for her to wash it, and the way he cried when he got it back, murmuring that it smelled different.

The nonstop Inspector Spacetime on the television, playing and playing and playing even though it’s clear that Abed’s mind is miles and miles and miles away.

“Abed?” Annie asks softly, because he’s fallen silent and unmoving. He doesn’t respond, but his eyes shift from the television to the floor, still glassy and unfocused. He exhales, like he’s realised what he’s just told her. “Are you... Are you in love with Troy?”

It takes a few seconds, a few silent, empty seconds, and then he takes a deep, shuddering breath and nods so weakly he barely moves at all. And then he crumbles.

The tears finally fall and he leans toward Annie, turning his face into her when she wraps her arms around him, barely even noticing that she’s crying herself.

“It’s okay,” she murmurs when a sob breaks out of him, burying her face in his neck, against the blanket and his skin, trying not to let her voice shake. “That’s okay.”

“I don’t—” Abed chokes, and she shakes her head, hushing.

“It’s okay, Abed, it’s okay.”

He cries.

And cries.

And cries.

She holds him, murmuring to him and doing her very very best to not let herself break. She’s never seen him like this, or heard him like this, sobbing, and whining and gasping, shivering, moaning, trembling, clutching at the blanket like it’s a lifeline.

When he calms down, he slumps, falling against Annie, between her arms, and she runs a hand through his hair, laying her cheek on his head, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath as his shoulders rise and fall.

“It’s okay,” she whispers after a few minutes of quiet, because she doesn’t know if he’s fallen asleep or not. She’d let him fall asleep, right here in her arms.

He takes a shaky sigh, and then says, “I know.”

She relaxes, leaning against the back of the sofa and lifting her leg to rest it on top of his lap. He lays a hand on her leg, rubbing gently at the fabric of her pajama pants.

“Have you told him?” she asks, and he scoffs.

“How would I?” he says, more than asks. “How would I tell Troy Barnes I’m in love with him? Troy Barnes…” he says, almost wistfully. “Star quarterback and prom king.” His voice cracks.

“You mean Troy Barnes, supreme dork?” Annie says, frustrated. “The same Troy that built a blanket fort across the whole school with you just because? And that got a gluon photo with you at a Spacetime Convention so you guys could be bound together forever?” His hand grips her leg, holding onto her like he’s bracing himself. “That held your hand in the hallways so you wouldn’t have to look up and get overwhelmed or overstimulated? That got you your first stim toy in your favourite color?”

Abed sighs again, nuzzling his face into Annie’s shoulder, and she presses closer.

“He loves you, Abed,” she says gently. “Even if it’s not the same way you love him, it won’t change anything, I promise.”

He’s quiet, and she would think he’s fallen asleep if his fingers weren’t still fiddling with her pants. There’s a little indent in the fuzz, where there’s a smiley face, and he runs his fingertips over it, scratching and rubbing it.

“Can I tell you a secret?” he finally says, so softly she almost doesn’t hear him.

“Of course.”

“The uhm…” He takes a deep shaky breath. “The whole apartment smells like the ocean. Like sea salt. All the time.”

Annie’s heart crumbles like a sandcastle and she exhales.

“That’s beautiful,” she says, because it is. Even though it hurts even her, and she’s never even been in love with Troy.

“I guess.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” she whispers after a quiet minute, because she isn’t sure how much longer she can hold this thing inside of her, this thing she didn’t even know was inside of her, pushed away on a shelf and covered in dust.

“Tell me.”

“I—” She cuts off, taking a sharp breath and biting her lip, wondering how to say it. It takes her longer than she’d like, thinking and thinking until her brows are drawn and her lips are pursed. Abed waits.

“I think I, uhm… I think I’m a lesbian.”

“...Okay.”

Annie squeezes her eyes shut, letting tears cascade down her cheeks.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

She takes a gasping breath, trying not to let a sob rack her body, and Abed squeezes her leg, pulling at it so she comes closer.

“That’s okay,” he says softly. “I love you, you know.”

The sob finally breaks free as she chokes out, “I know.”

He lets go of her leg and reaches up, holding her hand and then her wrist and just holding her so her arm presses against his neck harder. She tightens her arms around him, crying. Crying and crying.

“I love you too,” she whispers when she stops. “So much.”

He turns his head and presses a kiss to her shoulder.

“It’s been a very emotional night,” he says lightly, and she chuckles tearfully.

“Yeah.”

“Look, it’s us,” Abed says, lifting a hand and pointing at the television. She’d forgotten it was even on, and she looks over Abed’s head to where Geneva and the Inspector are embracing. Annie giggles, hugging Abed tighter and rocking slightly.

“Do you wanna watch with me?” Abed asks gently, like he’s nervous, and Annie almost says no, but fuck it, it’s a Saturday.

“Yeah,” she says.

They readjust, so Annie is laying on his lap, her hands grasping his leg lightly. He carefully places the end of his blanket over her and unties her ponytail so he can run his hands through her hair.

Annie giggles at the show, at the accents and effects, and she feels Abed’s belly move as he giggles with her. She even laughs as she drifts off, until she falls asleep, gripping Abed’s pajama pants.

She doesn’t see the blorgons get knocked over like Dominos (which Abed knows she would have laughed at), or at the way Geneva says “You're a liar!” that sounds more like “lawyer” on account of her over-exaggerated British accent that sounds Australian (which Abed knows she would have laughed at).

She doesn’t feel Abed move as he retracts his hands from her hair and reaches over the armrest to his laptop on the floor.

He opens it to a map, blackish-grey with little red, glowing dots. He looks, watching them.

Him and Annie, side by side. Jeff and Britta and Shirley at home. Pierce in the cemetery. (Almost a comfort really, despite not being able to get the tracker back. Part of him hates to think about what would happen if he saw it move one day, but another part of him thinks it would be quite the adventure. But, though he’d never say it out loud to anyone but Troy, he wouldn’t want to see if move. He’d honestly hate to find out that Pierce faked it (which he wouldn’t put beneath him). He’d hate to hear what Pierce would have to say about… anything, really.)

He zooms out on the map, scrolling until the world spins and he finds the last red dot, floating in the ocean, miles and miles and miles away.

He watches it, until the tv stops and asks if he’s still watching. He ignores it, forgets about it. Annie moves on his lap, turning her head so her face presses against his leg.

He watches the dot like he’s expecting it to travel around the world by the time the sun comes up, by the time he blinks. It doesn’t move.

He closes the tab.

And opens his email.

And a draft.

And then he types.

Troy,

[achillestiel]

the parent trap only works if you’re identical | part five (if this get’s any longer I’m putting it on ao3)

Tag List: @littlerachelbee @imthedoctorlove @deancas-handprint @castiel-loves-dean @wanderermatthews @thelahatiel @priscillahc @mridzyp @multi-fandom-dark-lord @thefantasyfiend @harmonyhelms @imlivingliferightnow ​ @kara-merlin @still-clowning-in-this-house @never-forever-more @continuezmesfilserrants @2musiclover2 @castiels-bitch @stjimmie @cmths5

“Well thank you for dinner but we should probably be heading out.” Dean said towards the end of one of, if not the most, awkward dinner of his life.

“Dad what about dessert?”

“Claire, we need to get going. It’s a long drive back to Kansas.” Dean said, sighing internally because he knew getting Claire out the damn house was going to be hard. 

“Dean, don't be ridiculous. You’ve been driving for most of the day.” Cas said. “We have the spare bedroom-”

“That’s my room!” Gabriel interrupted. 

“It’s not your room Gabriel. It’s the guest room. You have your own house with your own bedroom.” Cas said, giving Gabriel the bitchiest look Dean had ever seen. That was saying a lot seeing as he’d grown up with Sam. “Dean, why don’t you and Claire stay here for the night? Claire can sleep in Jack’s room and you can sleep in the guest room.” Cas suggested. Claire and Jack grinned at each other and Dean just knew they'd stay up half the night whispering to each other. Or plotting. Most likely plotting.  

No. Nope, Absolutely not going to happen in a million goddamn years. 

“Cas, we can just grab a motel if I get tired.” 

“Dad, I’m not staying in a motel if we can stay here.” Claire said stubbornly. “Plus Jack and I were already planning on making waffles in the morning!” Oh, Jesus Christ. These kids were going to be the death of Dean. And damn if both Claire and Jack weren’t giving him the puppy dog eyes. 

 “Fine. Fine. But we’re heading out in the morning Claire, I mean it.”

“After waffles.” Claire and Jack said in unison. When the hell did those two learn how to do that?

“Excellent, now that’s all sorted I’m going to head home as Winchester’s stolen my room. All the wine is gone anyways.” Gabriel asked, slapping his hand on his thighs as he got out of his seat

“See you in the morning Uncle Gabriel.” Claire said with a grin as Gabriel patted her on the head, ruffled Jack’s hair and gave both Dean and Cas pointed looks.  

“Good night Gabriel.” Cas said, giving his brother a stern look Dean didn’t understand. 

“Same to you bro. Good to see you Winchester, try not to keep this madam a stranger.” Gabriel said, nodding towards Claire.

“I’ll try.” Dean said, mainly to placate Gabriel. Gabriel gave them all a salute before heading out. “Nice to see Gabriel hasn’t changed at all.” Dean said once Gabriel had left. 

“No, he’s still the same annoying ass he’s always been.” Cas said. 

“I like him! He’s invited us to Thanksgiving this year.” Claire said. Yeah that’s not happening. Dean thought. 

“I’m going to teach Claire my secret yam recipe.” Jack said cheerfully. 

“Ah yes, Jack Novak’s secret yam recipe. Involving two whole bags of miniature marshmallows and a ruined casserole dish.” Cas said, shaking his head but giving Jack a fond look. 

“Sounds about as successful as when Claire tried to make apple pie on for Father’s Day.”

“What did you set on fire that time?” Jack asked Claire. Claire could stick her tongue out all she wanted but there were still scorch marks in their kitchen. 

“Yes well, Jack why don’t you and Claire clear up while Dean and I have a quick chat. After that, you can show Claire where she’s sleeping for the night. You two can watch a movie in your room.”

“Cool, how’d you feel about The Avengers?”

“Black Widow is a badass.” Claire said. “Rock, paper, scissors for who washes and who dries?” she then asked. 

“Oh Jesus.” Dean muttered as Cas motioned for him to follow him. Instead of going into the warm looking living room, Cas took Dean upstairs and into a spacious guest room. The walls were painted a deep, honey colour that matched the wooden furniture perfectly. Unlike Dean’s guest room, which was really a junk room, it was immaculately clean. Dean was about to make a quip about the cleanliness of the room before he stopped. In the corner of the room was the very turntable he had brought Cas for the first Christmas they had been together. Without saying a word, Dean walked over and glanced at the records neatly stored in their storage box. Bob Dylan, Fleetwood Mac and even the rare Otis Reading record that Dean had found at a vinyl fair. Cas had kept all of them. For a fleeting moment, Dean wondered if the note he’d hidden in the Bob Dylan record was still there. A hastily scribbled note saying I wasn't born to lose you. Oh, the irony. 

-

Cas watched with cautious eyes as Dean ran a hand over the box of records. Each one Dean had carefully picked out for Cas in another life. He had battled over getting rid of them for years. Gabriel had always said it was strange to keep hold of them but Cas could have never parted with them. When Jack was a toddler Cas had played all of them for him, smiling to himself at how Knocking On Heaven’s Door would always send Jack to sleep. 

“I think we need to have a talk.” Cas said, trying to ease the tension that had enveloped the room. 

“Um yeah.” Dean said with a cough as he straightened up, looking away from the records. “Cause apparently I’m cancelling my Thanksgiving plans with Sam to spend the day with my ex-brother-in-law, eating my body weight in mini marshmallows.” Dean said. “Cas...what are we going to do about this?”

“And by this you mean…”

“The kids. There’s no way Claire’s going to just go back to how it was before. Plus, Jack is an awesome kid. There’s no way I want to go back to how it was before. I mean, maybe Jack could stay with me during the summer?”

“And what? I get Claire during Easter? Christmas?” Cas asked, laughing at the absurdity of the situation. “We came up with this arrangement so the kids could live a normal life. What’s going to happen next, I have them for one year and you have them for the other? That won’t work.”

“No shit Cas but...did you see those two at dinner? They’ve only known each other for a few weeks but it’s clear they adore each other. Claire’s gonna be an even bigger pain in my ass after this. I don’t want to break my...our daughter’s heart when we separate them again and I’m sure you dont want that for Jack.”

“Of course I don’t! What do you honestly suggest then because not only did we come to this agreement to have the kids lead normal lives but it was also so we didn’t have to see each other.” Cas said because even though neither of them would say it, they both knew that seeing each other again would end in a huge fight and a lot of sex. 

"Then why did you ask me to stay?" Dean asked. Good question Dean, very good question. 

"Because it's late and you can't drive throughout the night when you've been driving all day." Cas said. Liar a small voice inside Cas said. As much as he annoys you, you still love him. 

"Oh." Dean said in a small voice. 

"Why? What do you expect me to say?"

"Nothing...forget it." Dean said. “You know, now that we’re here and I’ll probably never be here again. About that day you packed, why'd you do it? Why did you just hop on a train and leave?”

“Dean.” Cas groaned. “We were so young. We both had tempers, we said stupid things so I packed. Got on the train and you didn't come after me.”

“I wanted to but I didn’t think you’d want me to follow.” Dean said in a small voice. “Dammit Cas, you just had to send Jack to the exact same camp as Claire didn’t you? ”

“We haven’t spoken in twelve years, how on earth was I supposed to know where you were sending Claire for the summer? It might shock you to hear this but I can’t read your damn mind Dean. I didn’t send Jack there because a little voice in my head said ‘Oh Dean is sending Claire to this camp! Send Jack so he can meet the twin sister he never knew he had.’” Cas said.  "You are so infuriating, you know that right?”

"I'm infuriating?” Dean asked, looking highly offended. “What about the time you recorded over my Star Trek episode with a documentary on the life of Tomas Jefferson?"

"You have the whole series on DVD! Why did you need to record it off the SyFy channel?"

"You know why! It was the Trouble With Tribbles episode and that was on the DVD that Sam scratched when I let him borrow it!" Dean shot back. 

"Well, you set fire to the patio furniture! Don't even say you didn't because Eileen told me it was you and Sam the next morning." Cas said.

"You scratched the Impala!"

"That wasn't me, it was Gabriel. I lied and said it was me because he was already on his last warning from when he spilt red wine on the couch." 

"Yeah well, you did break my Captain Kirk mug." 

"No Dean, the asinine way you stacked kitchen items broke your Captain Kirk mug." 

"Yeah well, you...you…" Dean said and something inside Cas just broke. This man, this irritating and stubborn man had been the love of his life, his husband and the man he wanted to spend this rest of his life with. Twelve years hadn’t changed a damn thing. 

"Oh for god sake Dean, shut up." Cas said and even though he knew this was the worst plan in the world, even worse than his non-identical twins switching places, Cas pulled Dean in close, their lips crashing against one another. Oh god, it was like going home after a long trip. Cas knew this, knew it better than breathing. Cas still loved Dean more than anyone else in the history of the universe. 

"Cas this is the dumbest-" Dean tried to say between kisses. Frantic kisses that set Cas’ skin ablaze.

"Just shut up and take off your pants." Cas said before his brain could come up with a million reasons why this was a stupid idea. 

“What?”

“Dean, shut up and take off your pants.” Cas said before crashing their lips together again in a kiss that was more like a battle for dominance than anything else. 

“I can’t take off my pants if you keep kissing me.” Dean said as he pulled away and Cas just groaned because this man drove him so insane but all Cas wanted to do was kiss every inch of his body. "This is the worst idea ever."

"Worse than when you let Jo pierce your lip?" Cas asked. He could still the slight scar on Dean’s bottom lip. 

"That was not as bad as the time you wanted to make your own honey." 

"One bee flew in the house Dean, one."

"Bees don't belong in a house Cas, they belong in a beehive."

"Are you really trying to start an argument when we're about to have sex?" Cas asked. Thankfully Dean shook his head. "Good, now take off your clothes and get on the bed."

-

With The Avengers to mask the sound, Claire and Jack sat in Jack’s room as they called their Uncle Sam. After a few rings, he accepted the video call. Grinning at the pair of them with a warm smile.

"Hey kids...man it's weird seeing you two together. How's it going?" Sam asked. 

"Awesome. We made chilli and got them to sit in the same room." Claire said. 

Well, that's something Eileen signed. So what's the plan? 

Plan?

Yeah, the plan. You two are definitely up to something because Claire's involved. 

Why do you always think I'm up to something? Claire asked. 

Intuition

"Past experience." Sam intoned. "Where’re your dads now?”

“Guest room we think, we heard shouting in there about ten minutes ago.”Jack said. “Something about tribbles.”

“Is he still on about that?” Sam groaned. Just out of view on the screen, Eileen signed something to Sam. He groaned and signed back. 

“Hey! Winchester family rule, no covert signing.” Claire said. Sam looked back at her with a classic Uncle Sam Bitchy Face. “What did you say?”

“Ugh.” Sam said. “Fine, your aunt said that if they’re fighting there’s good chance they’ll end up having sex.”

“Ew! Gross!” Jack and Claire said at the same time. “Those are our dads.” Claire said, wrinkling her nose. 

“Yeah? And how do you think you two were made?”

“With a turkey baster and a very patient surrogate.” Claire shot back. “Wait...if they do...you know...do gross stuff, does that mean they’ll get back together?”

Going from past experience, no. They’ll just fight and make noises that, according to your uncle, only dogs can hear.

“That’s really gross Aunt Eileen.” Jack said. “As far as a plan goes, we don’t really have one. Come on, we’re twelve. We need help and Uncle Gabriel has gone home.”

“Good, his plan would have been awful.” Sam said. “Look kids, I know damn well that Dean still loves Cas and judging from what you’ve told us, Cas probably still loves Dean. Just let them fight it out, turn whatever movie you’re watching way up and see how things are in the morning. I know these two idiots pretty well, you can’t force them into anything.”

“We can’t play the long game here Uncle Sam. Dad’s making us leave in the morning.”

“After waffles.”

“Yeah, after waffles I’ll be shoved in the car and grounded until graduate.” Claire said. The four of them sat in silence for a moment before Eileen’s face lit up. 

Ok I have a plan but if it backfires then you do not get it from me. Claire, do you remember how to disable the battery on the Impala? 

“Yeah, I remember...oh...no car means not having to leave.” Claire said with a grin. “Aunt Eileen, you are a genius and never let anyone tell you otherwise.”

“I want no part in this part of the plan.” Sam said hastily. 

“Too late Uncle Sam, welcome to Team Parent Trap.” Jack said happily.     

[loudestcloud]

Time for Luffy's fashion exam! Now, I'll be honest, I did skip an outfit because I decided I will be ending this whole thing with the Strawhat fashion show in Episode of Luffy. Also, sorry for the posting gap, I remembered I have other unfinished post sets. That being said, this is a very long one so let's do this!

Kid Luffy, Post-Enies Lobby & Fish-Man Island: I think it's super cute when Luffy has white t shirts with red based logos because it reminds me of the first picture. Makes him look baby plus, they can always be found in cute domestic EPs or fun, cute flashbacks. The shorts change over time and that's also kinda cute, a range of cuffs is a nice change up. It's nice to see the red contrast the blue shorts and the white is a nice color on him cos it contrast his hair!

Romance Dawn, Enies Lobby, Thriller Bark, Sabaody Archipelago, Amazon Lily, Marineford & last Dressrosa outfit: This look is the pre Luffy look. It's the pre Timeskip look everyone thinks of is cuffed shorts, Kimono sandels and sleeveless vest (and Strawhat, obviously) but have you ever seen them all in a line? It's mad. Each outfit is the same basic look bit more are more spicy each time! I like the Thriller Bark and Sabaody Archipelago looks a little bit more cos it's nice to see that jacket open and it feels like he was trying something new. I also feel that the buttons on the jacket look like the ones on Shanks' pegged ankle sailor pants when we first see him so that's cool. (it took me hours to find the name for his trousers, oh my fucking god) The last Dressrosa outfit feels like a nice callback to the rest of the line up here without being too much cos it's just a red vest top instead and I do find it funny it's like the Enies Lobby and it's used in Dressrosa because of the jokes people make about Robin and Law being so similar.

Timeskip: This is it lads, it's the one true icon itself, the post look! ☺️ When I sit back and look at it I see all the people this look is influenced by and want to cry at how masterful it really is. (Now, I do wanna say that I didn't come up with this nor am I the first to say it and I am definitely probably looking too much into this but) The yellow belt is taken from Shanks' red belt the first time we see him and the Shanks look Luffy is more familiar with. Now onto the jacket. I know it won't stand out as to why for most but it's Ace inspired! When Ace leave to become a pirate, the start of his adventure, he has his jacket open and Luffy having his jacket open also shows his scar from the ending of Ace's adventure. I also really appreciate how no one hides scars in this anime. Also, someone said that the style of the jacket and it's fancy frills could be in reference to Sabo's little jabot collar and honestly I do see it. it's quite subtle unlike Shanks' but not as hard to catch as Ace's so I enjoy thinking that it's there too. Lastly, he still has his cuffed shorts and kimono sandels because it's still Luffy's outfit at the end of the day and he is still who is is, just with a stronger appreciation of what people have done for him now. It's also his colour pallette for the pure fact he is the main character n needs his pallet. also sometimes he just has normal wooden sandels but the same outfit sometimes, it's a small detil a lot of people overlook but I prefer the sound of his Kimono sandels 😊

Dressrosa: I love this outfit cos it's stilly but also has very nice vibes. Looks ready for the beach but is really throwing hands and that's the best kind of outfit, it's a nice expectation subversion tbh. I also like how he tried to hide the Straw hat but not... All of it? And I love how the crew didn't actually question it either. It would have been super easy for one of them to just tell him to leave it behind or something but I do really love how respectful they always are of the hat. I myself have a hat that's super important to me and when I loose it I go mad.

Whole Cake Island: I love this arc for outfits! I swear if the actual content of it doesn't kill me, the act looks will 😭 it's all so magical and it knows it is! Like I said before, white is a good color on him as he has black hair but for the same reason, so is black! In this arcs outfit range, the Staw hat seems almost invisible and his outfit gets less and less 'Luffy' as the arc gose on showing this is not about him. He's not the focus of this arc and you can see that in a lot of the outfits thb. I also like the lack of blue and yellow, 2/3 of his colors as Sanji is often associated with those too as we've talked about before. Also, I like the little red strips on the white jacket with the gold buttons, idk why and I think it's nice that the last 2 outfits are so simple in general, it's a nice look for him. oh, what's that? A Pink jabot? Your killing me Lu, straight up killing me here lil' bro! Side note, is this the first time in canon Luffy has worn a suit jacket or is it the only time I've noticed? Cos DAMM!! Shits sick as fuck and I actually love that when wearing a suit jacket as such he always keep short on 😆

Spa Island, Z's Ambition & Strong World: WHOS READY FOR A RELAXING SUNNY DAAAYY!? (pun not intended but very much enjoyed) I actually adore the fact Luffy still tries to go swimming cos it was his favourite thing to do as a kid so like fuck Luffy is gonna give up on that. He's got his safety measures ready, what more do you want from him? I mean I personally want him not to swim with his hat on cos it's litrally Staw and that's not good for water but anyway Z's Ambition, am I right!? The top is so fucking cute and I just noticed those shorts are also ✨designer✨ fancy man!! Now, the pic of Zoro is the one I missed out before and it's also from Z's Ambition. I love that Luffy has the shark top but Zoro has the ocean shorts. I really love Zoro in this purple cos and thick white stripes really work with the ocean waves. It's really well put together and hes got dark brown sandels on to off set all the white but keep the purple from being a stand out color, it's cool! Than the last Luffy looks like he's at a fashion show. It looks like the shorts come from a kids set the shark top belongs to. Imagine those together, it'd be so cute. However, it isn't an ocean patten, those are clouds cos Nami has a bikini top with the same pattern in Skypiea and it's actually one of my favourites for her.

Boss Luffy Historical Special! This filler AU is so much fun, I think any it a lot. He has his hair up in that super cute and useless way that doesn't actually do much but I do have my hair like that a lot n it's just... nice? Idk, it's strange buy I like he did that. I really enjoy his Kimono more that the actual Wano one cos it's a lot more simple look. The Sai being tucked in in that way is also cool but kinda makes it look like it's stabbing him a bit 👁️👄👁️. I like the pin strips being like a faded purpleish cos if you just glance at it, it makes it look it fuzzy. The belt also looks very nice with the middle ligter bit. It really feels like the Wano one was inspired by this is a way cos of the color matches. Like, it's probably not but still.

3D2Y, Adventure of Nebulandia 😍 & Heart of Gold: Hat-less Luffy is both a sin and a blessing. Regardless, I LOVE OP BOYS IN HOODIES!! I had to show you this specific the 3D2Y because we don't see the hood and it's soooo cute cos it a paw 😍 but also 😬 cos it's like... Kuma's paw the thing that cause 3D2Y in the first place. But that's also why it's so cool at the same time and AHHHHHH 😄 Now! On to Nebulandia! I really like this movie but also in canon, how does he have that jumper? Who made it for him and can I have one? It's Usopp flag design so I guess it could be him but he doesn't seem the type. Point is I want one. Last of this set is some really cosy outfits!! "How much fur?" "Yes" am I right? Like the first one is sooooo cosy with all the fur! Plus, a funky new bamboo hat, always a good thing to have a new hat. I appreciate that you can see the zips on these too. Then the orange turtle neck one with little fluffy bits is just here cos it's so out of his usual looks, I had to at least mention it.

Strong world & Film Z: The shorts on the first one are really cute cos it's a light rosey pink with red fur and just a plain solid dark blue colour jacket works really well. Not to mention the fact he has a super cute orange and yellow flight helmet hat with goggles on under the Staw hat. The 2 bag straps also make an X which is a nice detail. The 2nd outfits in this movie are super fuckin cool ngl. It's so strange to see them all dress in black and have guns but I like the red shirt for him with the yellow highlighted parts. Makes the Straw hat actually work with the outfit instead of ignoring it. Film Z brings us the same flight helmet hat just brighter and without the goggles but also opens with this T-Shirt and Luffy being silly with it. I think that's the only reason to mention it, it's funny. Then the obligation pirate outfit, always stunning plus the meat belt.

Film: Gold & Stampede (also used in Cidre Guild): these are my top 3 Luffy outfits no matter what else I see. I love the straw cowboy hat sooooo much cos it's very Luffy. I like the balls they has as a team to choose white for all of them, considering they are all quite messy people, living for that dad shirt and I like the Golden chain around his neck but am always confused as to why it was never used against him. Like dude could and should have tried to choke him at least once, right? Anyway, the dress! Now, the dress isn't actually that good but it's my favourite because it shows how Luffy has no fucks about gendered things. On to of that, a big pink flower is wonderful and look at his confidences in it, he's so proud of it the boom, Nami told him he can't wear it! Lastly, the Stampede outfit!!! Just like the Nebulandia jumper, I have no idea who made it but it's irrelevant cos it's beautiful and I want it so badly. I like that it's white and red stripes, gives thenprefect vibes for Stampedes opening. The shirt is actually too big for him, you can see on his arms but it's actually super cute. I love the simple look of these shorts then the fact his yellow belt is replaced with white bandages and the black on the kimono sandels are now red? It's such a simple pallet and it's truly the best!

I also just wanna add, I think it's really cute when Luffy has the Straw hat on his back just cos his hair is really cute. Idk why, it's looks kinda cursed but cute at the same time

This post took 2 weeks or so to make and we made listening to the complete BNHA soundtrack, film gold OST and Sonic generations vol.1

Sanji

Zoro

Nami

[cybernaght]

Guardian rewatch: Episode 9

This episode starts with Zhao Yunlan being a bloody good boss. I’ll talk about how the opinions of others must have affected this man’s perception of himself a little later on, but in this scene it is important to note that Zhao Yunlan is supportive, caring and loyal. Wang Zheng comes to him in tears, asking for permission to leave and see the home she had just remembered, and he not only supports her verbally, but drags his entire team on the trip with her the very next day. Sure, he has are ulterior motives, as he strongly suspects one of the Hallows must be around the same area, but I maintain that Zhao Yunlan would have insisted on going with Wang Zheng regardless.

There are complications to this trip; namely, Wang Zheng is a ghost energy being and can neither be in sunlight, nor leave the SID really. Thus, the plan to take her on the trip includes buying a doll. The implication is that Wang Zheng can be somehow placed inside it, and thus be able to move, but the details of how this is done are actually curiously hazy. I’m not sure if censorship is the reason for muddled writing, but there really is very little explanation for the ghost in a doll situation.

Guo Changcheng is tasked with securing a makeshift body for Wang Zheng, and the boy, eager to act fast, and without much to work with in terms of instructions, ends up buying this.

We can only thank the Universe for the role of Wang Zheng not being played by a blow-up doll for three episodes straight.

Zhao Yunlan instantly realises that being places inside this thing might be a little bit upsetting for his subordinate, and lashes out at Guo Changcheng with an excellent “Is the thing above your neck a urinal?” This snaps Zhu Hong out of her mirth, too; she rushes to her friend’s side to offer emotional support, and will remain there for the entire episode.

I love this blocking, in which Zhu Hong is the only one who feels comfortable approaching Wang Zheng in a situation where she is seemingly being mocked by her male colleagues, as Zhao Yunlan and Guo Changcheng look on, unable to offer a meaningful apology.

The evening prior to this Shen Wei is musing over ancient map of the region. His costume is arranged deliberately so you can see the Pendant of Pining hanging around his neck.

I am really wondering when this was shot, because it looks very out of place. The costume differs from Shen Wei’s usual attire, including chinos and an uncharacteristically ill fitting shirt. His hair looks so wrong I am wondering if this is styling, or a different haircut entirely. And, since we’re on this train of thought, his eye colour is so off I genuinely spent quite a bit of time examining the shots in order to figure out whether he’s wearing contacts. I don’t think he is, by the way, but the colour grading makes his warm syrupy-brown irises look almost olive green.

During the scene it is revealed Shen Wei’s only worry in regards to leaving the city and rushing into what could be trouble is a possibility of Zhao Yunlan encountering danger in his absence. It is easy to see that Shen Wei here firmly associates his own worth with his work as Hei Pao Shi, and his own needs with Yunlan being safe and sound. You could trace this thought process back to the mountainside conversation ten thousand years ago, and to years of loneliness and isolation that followed. While, frankly, equating self-worth with comfort of other it’s not necessarily so unusual, and neither is equating it with one’s work, Shen Wei’s disregard for his own life is still horribly upsetting.

The morning after, Zhao Yunlan with his team and Shen Wei with his students move out of Dragon City. Destination - North-west. I have to ask though, why is Shen Wei taking his students with him? I get that it’s a cover but also: he can totally just teleport where he needs to and do his stuff as Envoy, can he not? It’s fast, efficient, and can all be done during the night without arousing any suspicious.

As it happens, Shen Wei goes by car, which breaks, and causes him to instantly cross paths with Zhao Yunlan. What I like about this meeting is that we see it from an outsider perspective, as we drive into the scene with Lin Jing, Chu Shuzhi and Guo Changcheng.

“Is that Professor Shen? This must be their destiny. They keep meeting each other wherever they go.”

Zhao Yunlan confesses that he feels like Shen Wei bugged him and pops up everywhere he goes; Shen Wei counters by saying that in this case Zhao Yunlan who followed him. Zhao Yunlan can just laugh awkwardly. It’s kind of adorable how the two men just basically admit that they’re stalking each other, and are both kind of okay with that. Shen Wei then introduces the other man to his students as his good friend.

Zhao Yunlan, having already figured out that he is not likely to get any answers from Shem Wei, goes on a charm offensive with his students. I think this is the first time Shen Wei sees Zhao Yunlan using his jovial manipulation on others, and he is not particularly happy about what he is witnessing. Below are the series of facial expressions he wears every time it happens throughout the episode.

The way I read it, this could equally be jealousy, or the daunting - and incorrect - realisation that Zhao Yunlan is being like this with everything that moves. He could be even beating himself up for falling for this man’s charm now that he sees that Zhao Yunlan using the same wide smile as a tool to placate, gain trust and access information. In his mind, this is a further confirmation that he is not in any way special in Zhao Yunlan’s eyes. Again, Shen Wei’s supposition cannot be further from the truth. But you could imagine how he may have come to make to this conclusion.

In this particular case, Zhao Yunlan uses his charm to get some information out of Jiajia, and ends up hearing the direction of their expedition.

Shen Wei nervously adjusts glasses in the shot which is not even his close-up. It’s lovely, seeing how good of an actor Zhu Yilong is. Good actors don’t need to be directed to to most of the little things their characters would do, and don’t have to be told what their character quirks are.

Shen Wei very politely shuts Jiajia up when she starts talking about the earthquake, asking her to get out of the sun, despite this not being a hot day.

“Chief Zhao, you are really good at making people talk.”

As he is making this observation, he is offering Zhao Yunlan his water, because the man mentioned that he may be thirsty, and hydration is important. Should I once again be obsessing over how their fingers are touching here? Perhaps not. I am, once more, doing it anyway.

During the conversation that ensues here, Shen Wei reminds Zhao Yunlan that he was asked not to leave the city, and makes one more attempt at forcing them to part ways after the car fixing is done. Chief Zhao is having none of it. He reminds Shen Wei that no promises were given, and suggests they work together and protect each other instead. It’s interesting how their end goal is similar: they want to keep each other out of harm’s way. But for Zhao Yunlan, who works with a team, this implies sticking together. For Shen Wei, who has been alone for what could have been centuries (we are never given a timeline for when his magical coma ended), this implies being as far away from each other as possible. Many things about their relationship will change - but this one will never do.

Zhao Yunlan proceeds to charm his way into driving Shen Wei’s car. He is after all very good with people, and he’s not afraid to use this skill to keep himself near the Professor.

Next, we have intercut scenes depicting conversations in two separate cars.

Lin Jing is driving Zhu Hong, Guo Changcheng and Wang Zheng in the jeep. There, Guo Changcheng tries his darnedest to offer exceedingly moody Wang Zheng apologies and consolation, but his weak attempts to very little to lighten the young woman’s dark disposition. In the meanwhile, Zhu Hong is seething with resentment and jealousy. She notes discontentedly that Zhao Yunlan once again chose to go and spend time with Shen Wei, hypothesises on why Shen Wei is unmarried, and then goes into a long-winded rant about Zhao Yunlan being an uncaring person. Lin Jing reluctantly participates in this conversation, but he does not look very much like he cares for it.

I have mentioned in my previous recap that those around Zhao Yunlan comment on his crassness, and now I am wondering how much this creates a vicious circle for the man in question. He may have heard - from his father, from his previous romantic partners, from his colleagues - that he is a failure, a boorish, unloving and superficial man who only does things to chase clout and carnal pleasures. It is difficult to not internalise that, and Zhao Yunlan may have just grown to see this as an unshakeable truth about himself.

As for Zhu Hong’s part in this, it is easy to call someone not responding to your advances an uncaring jerk. It does not, however, necessarily make them one.

Curiously enough, the only person speaking up in defence of Zhao Yunlan here is Guo Changcheng. He notes that he considers Chief Zhao to be a nice person; despite only being with SID for a month, he is able to see good intensions behind the bristles. No doubt, this is another case of Xiao Guo being incredibly empathic.

In the other car, Zhao Yunlan is driving Shen Wei and his students. Here, we see the chief continue to crack jokes and use his bountiful charisma to find out more about their expedition. Presumably, this has been going for a while, and Shen Wei’s patience finally runs thin when Zhao Yunlan states that their research must be very important. “Thank you for the compliment”, states Shen Wei flatly, according to subtitles.

According to my dictionary however, what he actually says is, roughly, “Chef Zhao overpraised [us]” (“赵处长过奖了”), which even with my very basic comprehension of Mandarin, I can see as overly formal and clearly dismissive.

Zhao Yunlan seems to be taken aback, and a few seconds pass before he composes his features into one of the chuckles he uses as a mask: it is loud and wide, but does not quite reach his eyes, sliding off his face almost instantly. In the passenger seat, Shen Wei is slowly and deliberately readjusting his own mask.

We cut to Zhu Jiu trying to secure assistance of a whole bunch of Youchu he drags out of the cave. It goes even worse than his other plans do, with the beasts grumbling and effectively refusing to do any work whatsoever.

Zhu Jiu’s ineffectiveness is actually pretty sweet on rewatch, and I am starting to kind of appreciate Wan Naichao in this role. It’s not that I find his performance particularly good, but between the costume, the wig and the script, he does not have an awful lot to work with, and he nonetheless appears to have so much fun hamming it up to his heart’s content. He is not intimidating by any stretch of imagination, but he is surprisingly, albeit ironically, watchable. And, honestly, I would rather watch an actor being hammy and enjoying it than visibly longing for death on set.

After passing a checkpoint through a combination of Zhao Yunlan’s connections and ever-present charm, the now joint SID/DCU expedition shuffles around in cars once again. Despite their destination being allegedly twenty kilometres (or about 12.5 miles) out of town, it takes them a whole day to reach it. Who knows, maybe the Seastar’s measuring units are different.

This time, it is Lin Jing driving, with Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan having relocated to the back. We see that Zhao Yunlan has got a cold again - which could theoretically be from being so close to the hallows. He sneezes, and Shen Wei microexpressively overreacts.

Then, Zhao Yunlan unceremoniously arranges a pillow on Shen Wei’s shoulder and settles in for a nap. Does he remember napping on Shen Wei’s shoulder a few nights prior to that? Because he might do, considering how comfortable he feels with this casual close contact.

After a momentary panic, and a comment about flu meds, Shen Wei not only lets Zhao Yunlan do it, but also rearranges his pillow several times to make it more comfortable for the other man. I have no hot takes on this apart from just... those two. I love those two. How are they so adorable.

The car enters CGI fog, and promptly get stuck. To make matters worse, Lin Jing says he does not have a phone signal and asks Shen Wei to check his phone. “He does not have a mobile phone”, deadpans Zhao Yunlan before Shen Wei even opens his mouth.

Finally, Zhao Yunlan’s head vacates Shen Wei’s shoulder, and the professor leaves the car to scout the area. Jiajia tries to follow, but Zhao Yunlan dissuades her and goes after Shen Wei himself, catching up just as the other man is starting to scry the surroundings with his powers.

Zhao Yunlan enters the scene quoting poetry to highlight the beauty of their current location.

Shen Wei instantly tries to send him back: partly to continue using his dark energy, and partly, perhaps, out of genuine worry. In response Zhao Yunlan notes that Shen Wei is the only one who can order him around. This is not all done in cheek: it’s actually kind of true. Even before finding out that Shen Wei is powerful and ancient, and imposing, Zhao Yunlan is readily listening to him, and following his lead.

As a precursor to returning to the car, Zhao Yunlan takes his jacket off and drapes it over Shen Wei’s shoulders, despite the other man’s loud protestations. Again, Yunlan has got a cold, and he is visibly filling the chill air later in the scene. He has no way of knowing that this jacket will become a catalyst for his suspicions about Shen Wei’s alter ego, so there can’t be any other reason for him forcing his jacket onto the other man apart from a desire to make sure he is warm and comfortable.

Shen Wei stares at Zhao Yunlan in absolute wonder.

It is easy to believe that the idea of someone wanting to look after him is foreign no Shen Wei: we know from the text of the show that before Kunlun no one has shown him any consideration, and seeing Shen Wei now, it is not difficult to imagine, heartbreaking as it is, that no one has done it since.

Jiajia’s scream cuts through the air, interrupting the scene. As the two men take off in the direction of the sound, Shen Wei grabs Zhao Yunlan by the elbow as they run out of the shot.

When they rejoin Jiajia and Lin Jing, she girl stammers a few words about ghostly presence that she witnessed, and Lin Jing confirms her words, sharing his knowledge about ghosts seen in this area. Zhao Yunlan reprimands him for speeding feudalistic and superstitious concepts. Just remember that their HR manager literally is a semi-corporeal dead woman. This line is such a blatant and somewhat tongue-in-cheek appeasal of the censorship, that it sounds delightfully silly.

The group finally reach the remote village they were heading to. As everyone files out of the cars, they notice a strange looking crow nearby - clearly Ya Qing is checking in on them. Lin Jing proceeds to tease Xiao Guo, saying the young man in unlucky. Chu Shuzhi is looking disapprovingly at this comment, but it’s actually Zhu Hong who shuts it down. She does use this excuse to make an impolite jab at Shen Wei, noting that the misfortunes are someone else’s fault, while looking at her romantic rival from the corner of her eye.

Shen Wei graces the screen with another one of his “why does the snake woman hate me?” faces. 

It’s quite amusing that as the group starts walking towards the guesthouse, Zhao Yunlan sends his people off while he himself deliberately lingers in place, so he can walk with Shen Wei, sneaking a hand across the professor’s back. 

Just as the company enters the premises of the guesthouse, they find a human skull. Of course they do. But the reason I am including this here is to point out that Shen Wei’s reaction is to cover Jiajia’s eyes. Zhu Yilong does not do it in all of the takes used in the scene, which indicates to me that this is an in the moment acting choice. 

Shen Wei then leads his students away to give the SID a chance to investigate. While Lin Jing and Zhao Yunlan do just that, Wang Zheng sinks to her knees and starts praying to comfort spirits of her ancestors. Hilariously, this goes unnoticed for a while.

After completing some preliminary checks on the skull, Zhao Yunlan suggests they park the investigation for the night, citing that he does not want students and their teacher to get ill as the reason for doing so. Da Qing notes that this is more considerations than he shows his subordinates. I don’t think he means it, but it’s a lovely little jab at Zhao Yunlan’s unmistakable crush.

Inside the house, everyone settles in to hear Wang Zheng’s tale of the Hanga tribe. What follows is an massive exposition dump. She sets up as “some things she heard from rumours”, but considering how forlorn she is throughout this tale - and that she was praying earlier - it is pretty obvious that she is of the Hanga tribe herself.

Again, I love the blocking here. Zhu Hong is keeping her shoulder in front of Wang Zheng, protecting her from the strangers (and Shen Wei) that they are sharing the table with. Zhao Yunlan and Da Qing are watching from afar, and Chu Shizhu is perching above them on the stairs. The composition is easy on the eye, and implies that the SID men are ready to protect those at the table from all directions.

Soon, they are interrupted by a villager pretending to be a ghost, and a reluctant village head explains that the outsides may not be welcomed because there has been a murder here in the recent days. Zhao Yunlan and Zhu Hong leave to investigate the crime scene. As they do so, Zhao Yunlan catches the woman gazing upon him in adoration, and freezes uncomfortably, for a second before laughing it off.

He should really force himself to have an uncomfortable conversation with her, but he won’t do it until pushed.

In the meanwhile, Zhu Jiu is having more luck riling the actual ghosts up than he did with the Youchu. After some hesitation - and some baseless threats from our unfortunate villain - the Hanga tribesmen launch an attack against the guesthouse.

Just to note: their masks don’t look anything like the masks Wang Zheng drew. Considering that the guesthouse parts of the episode was likely to have been shot together, I don’t see any explanation for this as it pertains to production.

Chu Shuzhi and Xiao Guo leap into action to fight the ghosts - and the young man actually successfully fends one of them off. They are soon joined by Lin Jing, who leaves Shen Wei in charge of looking after the students and Wang Zheng inside the house. The ghost woman energy being asks to be let outside because she guesses correctly that the ghostly warriors are here for her, but Shen Wei refuses to let her go. The reason he states for denying her is that “Zhao Yunlan would never agree to it.” He knows that the other man would never put his crew in danger - and adopts the same attitude.

Shortly after, Zhu Hong and Zhao Yunlan arrive on the scene.

Here we see for the first time Zhao Yunlan’s painful flashback to his mother’s death, followed by him freezing with the gun in his hand. Zhu Hong does save the way by snatching the weapon away from him and firing it, but she also goes on full offensive afterwards, berating the man. Hers is not a kind response at all, and this type of a reaction is likely to be the reason Zhao Yunlan has not felt comfortable talking about his tragic past, perhaps even seeing it as something to be ashamed of.

After the ghosts disappear, Zhao Yunlan stays outside with his team, and uses the Dial in attempt to locate the other ancient item which he knows is somewhere close.

Shen Wei, on the other hand, tells Wang Zheng about the totem hidden in a cave, and asks her for any information on the matter.

His interrogation does not get him anywhere, but he does get suspicious enough to refrain him from drinking the drugged water she offers everyone present in the very next scene.

It is clear from this shot that after toasting with warm water, everyone goes to down their cups - apart from Wang Zheng and Shen Wei, who lock eyes over their cups for the second.

Having escaped her protectors in the night, Wang Zheng heard towards the cave in which Sang Zan’s spirit is kept, Zhu Jiu hot on her heals, and we witness the first of many flashbacks to her life and death.

Next up, Episode 10: Death By a Thousand Flashbacks.

—

Notes.

The next post here will actually be some thoughts on the Lost Tomb Reboot which I have spent this Easter Weekend binging. And if this post is more Zhu Yilong-centric than usual, this would also be why.

[unprofessional-bard]

Chapter 3 - To Have and to Hold

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Warnings: Depressive episodes + some suicidal thoughts... mostly angst but some fluff?? :")

Summary: The reader gets better and better each day, fitting better into her new life in Jackson, while Joel and Ellie continue their journey. The reader, after over five months, is greeted by unexpected visitors during patrol one day.

Word Count: 6.034. Grab a snack maybe?

Author's Note: As I mentioned in the previous chapter, I don't have PTSD or depression, but I do a lot of research about these mental illnesses before I write; once more, my last wish is to offend any of you, so my deepest apologies if I do! ! I do hope you like it!

Enjoy!

"(Y/N), you up?" You heard Tommy's voice as he and Maria peeked into the room.

"Thanks to you, yes." The edges of your lips turned up, eyes still closed.

"You've been asleep for almost five hours, we got worried." Maria said. "Tommy wanted to talk to you."

You opened your eyes, watched Maria leave and Tommy sit on a chair beside your bed: "How you doin'?"

"No nightmares," You sighed and pulled yourself up and leaned your back on the wall. "The bed was pretty comfortable, I'd say my body's rested at least. You found Ellie?"

"Yeah, about that," Tommy scratched the back of his head. "We found her, she's alright but..."

It turned out that Ellie and Joel had been on the road for awhile and that Joel and Tess were tasked with carrying her across the country because she was a potential cure, a way to save humankind. Joel apparently wanted Tommy to take her to the Fireflies and convinced him to do so too, but just after they found Ellie and brought her back to town, Joel had a change of mind and took off with Ellie to Salt Lake City. You felt sick again, finding out that Ellie was immune and she was gone now, without saying a goodbye. You zoned out and stared at your hands resting on your lap.

"But uh, Maria arranged a house for you," Tommy smiled softly.

You nodded, still feeling numb and shocked: "Appreciate it..."

Tommy reached out and gave a firm squeeze to your shoulder: "They're going to be okay, (Y/N)... Now Maria told me what kind of a bond you shared with Ellie and I know you're upset, but she's capable of taking care of herself. Now Joel, much of an asshole he is- he's going to protect Ellie and they're gonna be just fine. They'll be back, don't you worry."

You nodded again and looked at him when he told you to get up so he can show you around and to your new house.

It had been so long since you'd seen lights and so many people together, people who didn't attack or yell orders at each other. They were just happy, minding their own businesses and, according to Tommy, headed to the 'theatre'. But for some reason you couldn't truly feel happy about it- getting a random headache instead. You could really use another nap right now.

"Here you go," Tommy led you to a small, cabin-like house. There was a salon and a kitchen to the left, and a bathroom and small living room to the right and right across the hallway, a bedroom; there was also a small balcony and garden connected to the bedroom. You couldn't have asked for anything more from neither Maria nor Tommy. "Take a bath and get rid of your clothes - Maria got you some new ones. We're going to have dinner in an hour or so, I'll send a guy to pick you up. That okay?"

"Yeah," you sucked your lips in and sighed, wrapping your arms around yourself. "Thank you Tommy. Really-"

"Don't mention it," Tommy patted your arm. "Think of this as a repayment from that last time, or just... humanly behaviour, you choose."

You sighed and felt your eyes water again, quickly wiping it with your palm.

"I'll leave you to it," Tommy said and walked away. You gulped and let out a shaky breath, entering your new house and closing the door. You walked around slowly, taking short looks at the rooms as you approached your new bedroom. Maria had left a pair of jeans, which at first looked too small for you, a black undershirt with black, normal panties along with a dark red, turtleneck sweater. They smelled as if they were fresh out of a washing machine. You dropped your backpack on the floor next to your bed, then lurked back to the bathroom to start the water.

You came back to the bedroom to take out some stuff from your backpack when you noticed a note left on the bed next to the sweater:

Hey! I hope these clothes are okay. Neither of us knew what size you wear, so I took a few guesses and, if they don't fit you or if they're too warm/cold, just let me or Tommy know and I'll try to find something else for you. You can put your dirty clothes in the bin outside the entrance, someone will come and pick them up. I hope you like it here :)

Maria

You smiled briefly, then picked up the gas lamp on your nightstand (which worked with a candle) and put the note under it. Your fingertips lingered on the lamp as you felt a great amount of guilt and grief settle in you. I don't deserve this, you thought to yourself and bit your bottom lip to stop it from quivering.

Too much to think about...

Too many people to grieve...

You almost forgot about the bathtub and went back to the bathroom, to find it almost completely filled. You saw a pink soap at the edge of the bathtub which you didn't notice- or forgot? Whatever, there was a goddamn soap you could clean yourself with.

You took off your clothes and threw them into a pile and slowly dipped yourself in the warm water, sighing at the contact. Dry blood immediately changed the colour of the water a little but you couldn't bring yourself to wash your body just yet. Instead, you pulled your legs to your chest, wrapped your arms around them and placed your chin on your knees. This gave you a moment to think: To think about everything you've done, everything you've seen, everything you've been through; Why me? I don't deserve this. were the only words echoing through your mind, convinced that you truly didn't deserve to be alive. Your chest felt really tight all of a sudden and you forced yourself to calm down again, only to remember that you can cry, sob, whine and grieve your loved ones now. You were safe and sound, no one was around and you didn't have to stay strong for anyone anymore. You could put your guard down and be fragile, like a porcelain doll.

Tears began streaming down your face.

You closed your eyes tightly, pulled your knees closer and held your arms tighter as you bewailed; like you'd simply die if you dared hold it in any longer.

Felicity... Kurt... Maxim... Amanda... Robin and Cole...

They deserve this- they deserve a good life, I don't.

I let them down, get them all killed and get a fucking reward for it? Unbelievable.

Your fingers brushed your hair back as you cried and whined, leaning back on the wall to your right. You covered your face with both of your hands, dry blood around your body dissolving into the water in the meanwhile.

You had no idea how long you'd been crying, but you immediately stopped when there was a knock on the door.

"(Y/N), sorry to bother you," It was Maria. "I brought you some shoes, socks and some other stuff I thought you might need."

Your chin trembled as you panicked in the tub, water now cold: "I- I'm in the bath right now!"

"Okay, I'll just-" You heard the door open after you noticed how your voice cracked. "I'm leaving these here... are you alright?"

"Yeah," you nodded, wiping your tears aimlessly. "Is someone gonna come grab me for dinner or are you it?"

"Oh, no, there's still less than half an hour. I'll send someone when the time comes, don't worry."

"Okay- erm, thank you," You replied and she left with a sincere not a problem.

You started washing yourself with the soap, which felt really nice. You were actually going to smell nice for a change. It took you around ten minutes to wash yourself whole. Although you were still hurt and sad, Maria's brief presence had unintentionally calmed you down and you convinced yourself that it was enough for one day. You now had the rest of your life set in front of you, you could practically grieve whenever you wanted, right?

You dried yourself with the towels beside the sink, wrapping your head with one of them as you got dressed. Your wrists were healed for the most part, leaving behind marks which would be the reminder of your survival, but they didn't sting anymore. Now you had to worry about your waist which surprisingly didn't hurt as much. Probably because of the proper treatment and medicine you were provided with.

The weather was cold and the day was going darker by the minute. You put on every piece of clothing that were given to you, grabbing the stuff Maria left for you off the ground and finally dropping on the bed, laying down on your back, arms spread across the mattress. You suddenly had this terrible feeling that you were going to have trouble sleeping alone at night: Back in your FEDRA days, you always shared a bunk or a room with your teammates, always slept around a fire together when you were out of the base. There was always someone with you, which made you sleep better even in your worst days. Before you came here, you didn't have your friends but you had Ellie... and Joel.

Oh how you had missed them already.

The worst part was, you almost didn't know anybody here. Tommy was the closest person you could call a friend and you didn't even want to talk about Maria. As sincere as she was, you got to know her just today. You felt uncomfortable sharing your story with her, you knew you'd feel even more uncomfortable when it came to sharing your emotions.

You didn't realise a few tears had forced their way out of your closed eyelids and down your face until there was a knock on your door.

"Uh, hello? Maria sent me to come and get you..." You heard a deep voice laced with a southern accent, which reminded you of Joel's a little but it wasn't as heavy as his.

"Yup, coming," you huffed and got up, wiping at your eyes with the back of your hands.

You were really torn between wanting to be alone and wanting company, so you decided to let other people take over.

You also grabbed Kurt's knife before you went to the door, just in case.

"Uh, hi there," The man greeted you. You felt like you'd seen him before but you weren't sure. He was tall and slender, a lot taller than you were; he had dark red, wavy hair and green eyes, freckles splattered around his face and forearms. Looking into more detail, he had a tall, turn-up nose, light facial hair and lips which reminded you of a model's - they weren't chapped and they were quite plump. His cheeks and nose were reddened, probably because of the cold but his lips had a natural redness to them.

"Hi," you sighed, taken aback. "I'm, uh, (Y/N)."

"I know. I'm Walt," He smiled softly and handed a piece of cloth over to you. "Maria told me she didn't have a jacket with a hood, that I should bring this so you could cover your hair."

It was a slouch beanie with a pompom attached to it. Your face scrunched up, you never thought you'd be wearing these and you didn't want to, but your hair was wet and you really weren't in the mood to add more to your headache.

"Uh, thank you." You muttered awkwardly and put the beanie on.

"Here," Walt reached out for the beanie, making you flinch. "It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you..." He smiled sincerely and adjusted the beanie. "Better. Shall we?"

"Let's," you sighed, not really knowing what to say to him. He was quite handsome, you were expecting someone old and grumpy to come get you, not a cute guy with-

Cute?!

Goddammit.

"It's nice to see a new face," Walt commented, putting his hands in his jean's pockets. "Maria told me you were spec ops- I never thought I'd meet another outside a QZ."

You halted and looked at him: "You're spec ops too?"

"Yup, that's why she sent me, thought maybe you'd need someone who relates to you?" Walt explained. He visibly tensed when you didn't respond: "I'm sorry, was I too forward?"

"Oh- not at all, I'm just surprised is all. Where did you come from?" You asked as you two kept walking.

"I was born in Denver, grew up and enlisted there too. I served under FEDRA in Denver for a few years before being sent to Boston... What a pain in the ass."

"Yeah, I was in Boston for- ever. I knew I'd seen you somewhere." You sniffed and tried to smile.

"Boston was hell," He groaned. "We were new and there was this team, they were looking for new recruits and I wanted to sign up, I don't know what I was thinking but..."

"Oh," you sighed loudly, looking at the ground. "I know, some stupid sonofabitch named Gabe 'bought' his way in."

"You were at the training too?" Walt asked, surprised.

"I..." You tried to speak and get over with it, but decided to take your time. "I was uh, I was the team's leader."

This time Walt stopped: "Get outta town."

"I'm serious," you gave him an apologetic smile, reaching for your knife in your pocket slowly.

"I'm- I'm sorry," he let out an awkward laugh. "I thought you were the person who picked the new recruit, I might have cursed a little too much behind your back."

This time you laughed too, relaxing: "Oh it's fine. They never really liked me at the Boston QZ, I do have a fair share of curses on my behalf."

Just when the both of you chuckled, Maria opened the door. When did you even arrive?

"Perfect timing!" She smiled. "We were just about to eat, come in."

"After you," Walt took a step behind and motioned for you to go in. You smiled and walked in, Maria sending a quick wink your way before Walt could see and you just rolled your eyes.

There was a big table and three men sat around it, Tommy across them. They were filling their plates with, by god, delicious looking food. Tommy waved at you and you smiled as the three of you sat down around the table, Maria at your right and Walt on your left.

"This is (Y/N)," Tommy introduced you. "(Y/N), these men are the leads of our patrol. I wanted you to meet them because I reckoned you might wanna do patrols, is that okay?"

"Well," you sighed. "I know a couple of more things other than how to shoot a gun, y'know."

"That so?" Tommy grinned. "If you wanna do something else, that's fine. But I still want you to get to know them. You already met Walt, but not sure if you remember him..."

Eugene Linden. Of course you remembered him.

"Eugene?" Your eyes widened.

"Hi there, commander," he tipped an invisible hat your way and smiled.

"Goddamn," you sighed with a grin and chuckled. Then, simultaneously: "Still not dead, huh?"

Eugene and Tommy were absolutely despised and were the talk of the base when you were sent to Denver for duty. You had mixed feelings toward them at first -well, you were sent to kill them after all- but not because you followed orders blindly, because of the attacks and the terror caused by them. They were reckless and they killed civilians, you weren't sure if they were the promise keeping type.

You were outnumbered and genuinely scared that you may not get to see another day (not that you wanted to anyway) so you changed tactics and surrendered. You promised them that you'd help them escape FEDRA in return of your team's and civilian safety. They kept their promise but a few months later, both of them left the Fireflies and you were sent back to Boston. You never saw either again until now.

A night went by with no stressing out over when or how you were going to be attacked. You already made 'friends' with the lead patrol men: All of them were army men, Walt being the only spec ops. You already knew Eugene and Tommy and were now acquainted with Walt and Maria. The other men, Robert and Bruce seemed to like you too; Robert was around Eugene's age, you assumed as he looked a little old but Bruce was around your age, maybe younger.

Tommy walked you back home, as much as Maria secretly tried to make Walt your escort, you didn't mind him.

"How are you liking it so far?" Tommy started as soon as you were outside and on the way back to your house.

"I- I absolutely have no words, Tommy. I can't thank you both enough, I guess I owe you one?"

"Stop with that nonsense," Tommy chuckled. "Those days are over, you're not a FEDRA puppet and I'm not a 'terrorist' anymore... Those days are behind us. Let's focus on what we have now."

"You're right," you nodded, stuffing your hands in your pockets. "It's just- I want you to know how grateful I am for the both of you... I don't deserve this, you know?"

Tommy gave you a worried look when your voice wavered a little: "'Course you do, don't say that stuff now..."

Tommy turned to you under a streetlight and held your shoulders: "You deserve this more than anyone, (Y/N). Joel told me about what happened to your team and I am truly sorry for that-" You sniffed and tried to hold back your tears to no avail. "Hey, hey, it's alright... Look, even without after everything you've gone through, you deserve this. Everyone stuck in this world survivin' does."

"But I'm the reason they're dead!" You sobbed: "If I was faster, none of them would've been captured! If I had been more careful-!"

"(Y/N)!" Tommy shook you. "None of that was your fault, you hear me? I know you think it is but it ain't. I'm sure that if they could, they'd be the ones to give you this life. You were a good leader, you treated them kindly and helped everyone out- even your enemies. I know that as much as you want to trade places with them... what's happened, happened. It's gonna take some time, but you're gonna have to come to terms with it and move on. One way or another."

"I know," you whimpered. "I know but, I never had the time to... I didn't even get to bury them. They're out there, rotting in an old building and I'm here, eating actual food and taking a bath. With a soap."

"Well, if that's what you're worrying about," Tommy dropped his hands to his sides and began walking with a grin. "I can assure you they're in a far better place right now than you could ever be, alive."

You stared at him walk away slowly and let his words sink in. He was right, they no longer had to deal with the bullshit this world had to offer anymore. They were properly resting now.

Although it was a nice first night you spent there and as much as Tommy's words left an impression on you, the moment he said goodnight and you closed your door, a feeling of uneasiness settled in you. Sitting at the table with your new neighbours itself pained you at first, reminding you of your team... Your family...

You still struggled to believe this place was real. There was actually a place for you, a place amongst lovely people who had no bad intentions toward you. There was a new life for you here, you knew you had to move on from your past one, but you also knew it wasn't just going to happen over night. There was still so much guilt in you. And, well, the attack today didn't really help your hopes for this place, you knew better than anyone that all good things come to an end.

But that didn't mean that you wouldn't fight to keep this place going as far as it could.

----

"Aw man," Ellie sighed as Joel finished explaining the basics of baseball to her. "I wonder if (Y/N) ever played it."

Joel's expression relaxed and turned into a thoughtful one. He thought about you, wondered if you were okay and how you were getting along with his brother and the others in Jackson. He was mad at himself for getting angry at you for no reason and he knew, if he ever went back to Jackson, he'd have to make it up to you.

----

Your first few weeks went by resting and helping everyone with everything as much as your wounds allowed. You were fatigued and didn't really want to talk to anyone but Tommy and Maria, who checked up on you almost twice a day when you didn't show up for too long. You were mostly in bed, either doing nothing or sleeping. You had constant headaches and refused to take medications because you didn't want them to think there was something wrong, but sometimes you'd get sick to your stomach from not eating. You lost weight in your first week and a half which didn't escape Maria. You kept complaining about how you couldn't get used to sitting in bed and doing little to nothing for hours, your sleep schedule was absolutely fucked but you also didn't have the energy to get up. You were alone by yourself most of the time which didn't help and by your second week, Maria and the lady from the nursery, Katherine, who was apparently a medic, insisted she did a check up on you.

"I'm no psychologist, but I think she's depressed." Katherine had said when you had fainted because you got up too fast after your examination. "I read a book on it some time ago and she has most of the symptoms... Someone needs to keep an eye on her- she can't stay alone. She's grieving and she's going to need help going through it."

Maria had nodded with sad eyes, uncertain about what to do and Tommy held his wife as they looked at your sleeping form. Your face was way skinnier comparing to when you first arrived in Jackson.

"She doesn't just need a companion per se," Katherine had whispered. "We, as a community have to look after each other and will look after her too, but she barely talks to anyone other than you two. She needs to be more involved with us."

Maria's brows raised: "We can sign her up to patrols with the boys for a start. I'll pair her up with Walt, they seemed to be getting along."

"Well," Tommy had sighed, hands on his hips. "We could try the school? She always had a soft spot for children, maybe it'll help distract her for the most part."

"Offer her whatever you want, but just do it." Katherine nodded worriedly. "And make her eat, for god's sake. She won't survive like this any longer."

----

"You gotta tell me what to do!" Ellie panicked as Joel's vision began fading. "Come on, you gotta get up! Joel?"

Shit, what would (Y/N) do? Joel finally heard Ellie ask herself before he let the darkness take over his pale body. Really though, what would've you done if you were with them right now?

Joel thought back to the time where he was wrapping up your wrists in that house where you all took a shower. How you didn't even flinch when he applied the alcohol and just kept calm through every situation for the whole month you all travelled together. He thought about that one time where you treated a wound on his leg. It was just a bullet which whizzed through the side of his calf, not doing much damage but it still hurt a little. You had attended to it without any complaints.

"This won't take a minute, just sit down and let me handle it," You insisted. Ellie was already passed out on the couch in the next room. "If it gets infected you're never gonna stop bitching about it. Sit. Down."

"Yes ma'am," Joel's brows furrowed at your demanding tone. He sat on the ground and extended his leg on the floor. You carefully rolled the sleeve of his pants up and cleaned the wound.

"Come now, it's over, see?" You smiled gently when he hissed, then wrapped a bandage around his calf. Joel just nodded with an almost displeased look as you got up and moved to go to the other room to check on Ellie.

"Uh, (Y/N)?" Joel turned around before you disappeared into the next room. You gave him a quizzical look by the door: "Thank you."

You just smiled at him genuinely and somewhat shyly, then walked away.

----

You got more used to your new life each day, a full month had passed but you still struggled to come to terms with yourself; but there were some improvements too. You began eating more (by your own will) and you were just a little confused at why you were surrounded by people all the time, except for when you were in your house or at the makeshift gym with a lack of tools. You had only fainted once, it had to be about that, otherwise you were way past the welcoming phase. You still thought often of Ellie... and Joel. And Felicity and others. You found yourself crying some nights, but most nights you felt numb. You missed all your companions dearly - you knew you'd be with them sooner or later.

Walt had turned out to be excellent company, although you were sure his old patrol partner Bruce wasn't entirely fond of you anymore, with you made into Walt's new partner. You usually didn't go outside the walls as there weren't too many infected in the area, but now with you guarding the walls with them, the raids started to take less of a toll on the residents of Jackson. You were liked and your presence was appreciated, something you couldn't really bring yourself to believe.

Tommy and Maria were understanding of your condition and, as much as you had insisted otherwise, they urged you to stay at their place from time to time when you weren't feeling too well. You were grateful for them and for everything they had done to make you feel better while adapting to life in Jackson.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months as Jackson developed further into an actual town. Although winter was harsh on the people, a true sense of community had settled into everyone living there. Diners and schools were built by the end of January and more shops like tailors were being built every day.

Walt and you, on the other hand, were a different story. He was so calm and cool and you couldn't help but get flustered whenever he was around. He treated you nicely, with a more welcoming manner and he was an outright gentleman. The small compliments he'd give you, the way he'd make you laugh... You weren't sure how he'd react if you opened up to him though, so you kept it to yourself.

A better developed relationship comparing to yours and Joel's, you thought. You wondered then how he was doing, if he was even alive and all that.

----

"It's okay, it's me- it's me." Joel turned Ellie around as she tried to get out of his grip. "It's me, look..."

Ellie gasped, taking in a shaky breath as Joel held her face between his hands, like that time you had an attack before reaching Jackson.

"He tried to-" Ellie sobbed, struggling to speak, then Joel pulled and pressed her shaking body against his chest.

"Oh, baby girl..." Joel whispered as he held her close, heart breaking over and over again at her state; the situation they were in reminding him of Sarah over and over again but there was nothing he could do. He had already lost one daughter and he knew, then and there, that he wasn't going to lose Ellie too.

----

With April's arrival, many pretty flowers you had never seen before (or didn't remember seeing pre-outbreak) blossomed throughout the town. Your garden was quite colourful, which brought joy to you. After the cloudy, gray winter days, you greatly appreciated the sun with occasional showers. The weather was mostly chill and windy but not like it was back in January. You had made amazing process with your health conditions - it wasn't perfect but process was still process. Walt had been of great help, talking about your past experiences and venting to each other from time to time had brought you two even closer. He was requested to look after you by Maria and Tommy, but he didn't mind and gladly did so.

Speaking of Tommy: One night while the three of you had dinner, you helped Tommy clean the dishes while Maria went out to give the leftovers to some newborn puppies. Joel was made the topic of your conversation all of a sudden and he revealed a very upsetting detail about Joel's past.

"He," Tommy began, gulping. "He used to have a daughter. Sarah."

You stopped washing the plate in your hands and gave him a look, his movements slowing down as a great set of dark clouds settled over him: "On the outbreak day, the three of us were in a car and it crashed. Sarah broke her leg, so Joel carried her. We ran but Joel and I got separated, when I reached them..."

Tommy sighed through his nose: "Sarah passed away in his arms... I'm thinking, maybe that's why he changed his mind about Ellie? He's- he won't tell you this, but I just thought you should now."

You just nodded with a worried look on your face. After finishing the dishes, Tommy went to their room while you waited on the couch in their living room. He came back with a small frame in his hands: "That's her..."

It was a picture of Joel and Sarah which appeared to be taken after a football match. They both looked so happy, your expression softened immediately and your heart broke: "How old was she?"

"Twelve, I think," Tommy nodded as you examined the picture. "She would've been a whole grownup by now."

Your eyes widened at Joel and Sarah's age gap: "He was so young when he had her..."

"High-school sweethearts," Tommy shook his head and smiled bitterly. "I had no idea what was goin' on. I was around her age when I found out my brother was gonna get married and that I was gonna be an uncle. I don't really remember those times but, Joel managed fine on his own after Sarah's mother left."

You never could've imagined this was the brothers' story before the outbreak: "You miss him, don't you?"

"Me? Miss Joel?" Tommy mocked offence as you handed the frame back to him. "Nah, never... Anyways, he could be back any day, might as well enjoy it before he becomes a pain in my ass again."

You had both laughed about it, but you knew he was worried about Joel and that he missed him. They were pretty close, although worldviews separated them, they were still brothers who cared for each other.

You had also built up the nerve to confess your feelings to Walt. Maria was great at encouragement, so with a deep breath, one night after a patrol in the woods, you knocked on his door:

"Oh, hi there Dolly," Walt smiled. He was looking rather handsome today - as if he put in extra effort to his looks. He looked like as if he was about to go out.

"Oh stop calling me that," You smiled shyly. "I sing once and suddenly I have a new name..."

"It suits you though," he smiled charmingly. "Hey, you'll never guess where I'm about to go right now."

"I'd say on a date, but-"

"Ding ding ding!" He chuckled excitedly. "You know Bonnie, right? She invited me over to her place for dinner."

You just stared, utterly dumbfounded.

"It's a little awkward, I should've been the one to ask her out, but I guess she got tired of waiting!"

She got tired of waiting and shot her shot... and succeeded.

"Oh," you nodded, quickly regaining your composure. "Uh, that's nice- when did you two even get that close?"

"Well," he closed the door to his house, making you take a step back. "You should pull your head out of work from time to time. You've been working so much, you may have missed it."

He smiled genuinely: "Anyways, I have to go now. I'm afraid I can't escort you back this time, I'm running late. You're okay though, right? I hope you didn't come all this way for something important?"

You nodded, words stuck at your throat, then he gave you a brief hug: "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow, goodnight!"

You just stood there and watched him leave, mouth agape, hopeless and disappointed.

"So?" Maria asked as you rested your chin on your hand, frowning at your plate. The both of you were having breakfast on your back yard: "How did it go?"

"He's seeing someone else," You sighed after an unnerving moment of silence and put your fork through your food.

"Oh," Maria's excited expression dropped. "Are you sure?"

"He said he was on his way to Bonnie's when I went over to his place."

You both sat in silence, your expression was soft but as much as you tried to hide it, there was a hint of sadness in your eyes. I got everything I didn't deserve after moving here, maybe I pushed my luck too much. You weren't angry, just disappointed.

"He said it himself," You chuckled. "Bonnie apparently got too tired of waiting for him to make a move, so she took matters into her own hands. I was too slow."

"Don't say that," Maria reached for your hand but didn't touch it. "How could've you known? Even I didn't notice they had a thing going on."

"It's okay," you forced a smile and took her hand in yours. "Maybe it wasn't the right time."

Maria was happy that you weren't taking it too heavily - you knew you'd have another chance. After breakfast, you both went your separate ways. Walt greeted you at the stairs which led up to the walls, your heart skipping a beat when you saw him - it was anxious skip however, you were not excited to see him.

"So," You forced a smile as you approached him. "How was your night?"

"Pretty good, thank you," he smirked as you two climbed up.

"Just pretty good? Tell me more!" You laughed. The situation was odd, but he didn't have to know.

"Well," he smiled like a teenage boy after his first ever date with his date. "We began with dinner. She had cooked the most amazing meal- You should definitely eat some too, I suggested that the three of us should have dinner sometime and she's totally down."

You flinched as you approached the notebook on the counter then wrote down your names, your back to him as you felt like jumping off the side of the wall and into a hole where the ground would swallow you whole rather than having dinner with them.

"Yeah, we'll see, I don't wanna be a burden on your new girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend, Dolly, she's-"

"Stay where you are!" You suddenly heard Cedric, one of the patrolman who's shift was over, shout.

"Hold it!" You yelled at Cedric from where you were, then immediately ran out to where he was, Walt behind you. Your heart dropped when you saw the duo who were stood by Jackson's doors.

No way.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Lucien’s A Love Not in Vain Date (Eng Translation)

🍒 Contains detailed spoilers for a date yet to be released in EN! 🍒

Conversation between Lucien and Dr Sun before the date: here

NOTE: @redqueenschoice​ did the translation for this. All I did was proofread and format :> It’s on my blog because:

Candlelit Night Collection: Gavin // Kiro // Victor

Trivia regarding the name of the date:

This date is called 不负相思意, which is the final line of a poem called “Bu Suan Zi” by Li Zhiyi, a Song Dynasty poet

A loose translation of the stanza: When will the river run dry? / When will my sorrow come to an end? / I wish your heart may be like mine / My love for you will not be in vain.

-

Note: The italicised portions are a mix of both translations and summaries!

-

[ CHAPTER ONE ]

Within the university building, the clear sound of the dismissal bell rings.

Lucien: ...then, we shall end today’s lesson here.

I stand at the door of the classroom, watching as Lucien packs his teaching materials in an orderly manner at the lectern. I subconsciously smile at this sight, since it’s been a long time since I’ve seen this side of him.

MC: Lu-

Female student: Mr Lucien, please wait for a moment!

Just as I’m about to call his name, a female student suddenly runs up to the speaker’s podium. The female student looks like she’s gathering up her courage, then says something to Lucien. Her face is slightly red, and there is a hopeful expression on her face.

Lucien’s expression is as gentle and mild as ever. Without speaking, he simply listens quietly, occasionally nodding politely, the look in his eyes a little distant.

Without realising it, I stand on my tiptoes, trying to hear what they have to say. I catch sight of a pale pink perfume sachet clutched tightly in the student’s hand.

MC: I feel like I’ve seen that somewhere before...

I suddenly remember where I’ve seen it: while researching and preparing materials for the episode on the Matchmaker’s Temple.

MC: Could it be... 

I look at Lucien and the female student, before slowly retracting the hand on the door handle. A subtle emotion blooms in my heart. Before it has time to grow, it dissipates the second Lucien turns his head to look at me.

He walks towards me, eyes brimming with affection.

Lucien: Why didn’t you come in? Have you been waiting long?

MC: ...no, no I haven’t. I just got here. Besides, you seem busy. 

Lucien gives me a blank stare for a moment before smiling, reaching out to run his fingers through some strands of my hair. When I lower my head, I catch sight of the female student, who is no longer smiling while she stands on the speaker’s podium. The student leaves the room in a hurry. 

Lucien follows my line of sight and appears to guess what's in my mind. A smile tugs at his lips before he reaches out to tap my forehead lightly.

Lucien: What wild thoughts are you having now?

MC: I wasn’t having any wild thoughts! I came here to ask for your help with something...

I frantically shake my head, grabbing Lucien’s arm and pulling him along without a second thought, as if that would help steer the conversation away. Lucien laughs lightly, smoothly steering me towards the exit.

~

[ On the university grounds ] 

Lucien: Hmm, I think I’ve guessed it. You specially came all the way to the university... just for a work matter, am I right? 

Lucien lets out a soft sigh as he speaks, but the gaze he gives me is filled with a familiar tenderness and doting.

MC: That’s not entirely true...

Lucien: Hmm? Then, what else is there?

MC: There’s somewhere I want to go with you. Although part of the reason is because of the episode we’re doing next week, but...

As I speak, my footsteps stop. I pinch my ears awkwardly before raising my head to meet his eyes.

MC: That place is very special. I only want to go there with you.

-

[ CHAPTER TWO ]

Lucien and I head to the old matchmaker’s temple in the countryside, which holds a lot of history.

In recent years, a legend regarding a mysterious love story that happened decades ago has been getting attention in the media.

Along the way to the temple, I see many young men and women dressed in traditional clothes. There is a festive atmosphere in the air.

MC: Lucien, look at them. They should be participating in the matchmaker’s temple activities.

Lucien: Mm. Seems like this place is very special indeed. Is that why you only wanted to come here with me?

MC: [blushing] I only said that they're dressed in a very formal manner!

Lucien laughs a little.

Lucien: From what I see, it seems we are a little whimsical. Why don’t we dress up as well?

MC: You... you’re teasing me again!

Lucien: What if I am being serious about it?

I feel embarrassed.

Lucien: What are you thinking about?

MC: Nothing! Let’s hurry up and go!

~

As we walk along a dirt path, I realise that this place looks familiar.

MC: Lucien, have we been here before?

I turn my head to look at Lucien, and see that his lips are pulled into a line, emotions swirling in his eyes.

Lucien: Mm.

??: Meow...

Lucien’s words are interrupted by a mewing sound. A fat cat slinks out of nowhere, rubbing its head against his leg. Its eyes are half-closed, its gaze drifting towards me. 

Vaguely, I feel like I've seen this black and white cat before somewhere. When it looks at me, memories surface like a bolt of lightning, and I call out its name excitedly.

MC: Precious!?

After walking a little further along the mountain road, we finally reach Precious’ home. It’s a house of traditional make, with a courtyard just as refined and tranquil as in my memories. Dyed fabrics, threads of all colours, and interesting embroidery are placed in various corners, just as they were before. 

It’s as if nothing has changed at all.

Old grandmother: It seems we really have fate with you! When Precious escaped from the house today, he brought the two of you back with him!

MC: It really is such a coincidence. This explains why the road earlier looked so familiar. The previous time I came, I didn’t realise you stayed at the foot of the mountain of the matchmaking temple.

Old grandmother: This temple suddenly became so lively, and the festival is also drawing near. Ah, are the two of you perhaps here to visit the matchmaking temple?

I nod at first, but when I think of the implications, I become flustered and start to shake my head.

MC: Actually, we...

Lucien: Yes. We are here to visit the matchmaking temple. 

Lucien holds my hand tightly in his, before smiling politely at the old grandmother. The old grandmother smiles brightly, and I can feel my cheeks heat up. Feeling two pairs of eyes on me, I quickly change the topic.

MC: That’s right! Granny, did you know about the ‘legend’ of the matchmaking temple? It’s said that a few decades ago, a pair of lovers whose relationship was rejected by their families ran to the matchmaking temple. But after the man contracted leukaemia and died, the woman also vanished mysteriously... After that, the peach tree planted in the backyard blossomed and attracted many butterflies which surrounded it. That’s why the media has dubbed it the “Legend of the Butterfly Lovers”.

[Trivia from Red: “Legend of the Butterfly Lovers” - a pair of devoted lovers cannot be together when the woman, Zhu, has already been promised to another man by her family. The man, Liang, dies from grief and illness. On the day of Zhu’s marriage, she leaves the procession to pay her respects at Liang’s grave, and begs for the grave to open up. With a crack of thunder, it does, and Zhu throws herself into the grave to join Liang. Their spirits emerge as a pair of butterflies, flying away together, never to be separated ever again.]

Old grandmother: [laughs] Where did such a mystifying story come from! Most of it would have been made up by others. Those legends are all fake! Normal people have to part ways in the end, whether they choose to leave each other life, or are separated by death.

Hearing such grim words, I feel slightly depressed. Lucien opens his mouth to speak.

Lucien: I think this legend came about because people believe in something beautiful. “Out of a million people, only a pair of Butterfly Lovers will become butterflies.”

[Trivia from Red: Lucien is quoting a book called “被结婚” (”Getting Married”) by Yibei. The full paragraph is 大概一千万人之中，才有一双梁祝，可以化蝶。其他化为蛾、蟑螂、蚊蚋、苍蝇、金龟子... 就是化不成蝶, which translate to: “Out of a million people, only one pair of Butterfly Lovers will become butterflies. Others become moths, cockroaches, insects, flies and scarabs... just not butterflies.”]

Lucien: Love that transcends death is, of course, precious. But it is already difficult for people to be deeply in love up to the moment of death. Besides, these two feelings cannot be separated or differentiated. 

Lucien pats my hand gently.

Lucien: So, there’s no need to be upset about it.

Lucien’s voice is soft and gentle, but it settles my heart and puts it at ease.

Old grandmother: Ah, it’s this old woman’s fault for speaking too much! The two of you are still young, and have a long time ahead. As for what we were talking about earlier, the matchmaker you’re about to visit is very efficient! If the two of you are genuine, you will definitely receive blessings!

Old grandmother: But... dressing like this won’t do. I have a change of clothes with me. If the both of you don’t mind, perhaps you could make use of them.

~

Old grandmother: Do the clothes fit?

Lucien: Mm, they fit very well. Thank you for the hard work you put into these.

Old grandmother: Just now, MC asked if she could learn how to do embroidery from me, but I told her there would be some difficulties. Instead, she asked if I could teach her how to tie a “True Lover’s Knot”. When I asked if she wanted to tie one for you, she turned red and refused to let me tell you!

[Trivia from Red: True Lover’s Knot (同心结 - “same heart knot”) symbolises love, friendship and affection]

The old grandmother gets flustered and covers her mouth with her hands.

Old grandmother: Oh no! I just told you all of it!

Lucien: Don’t worry, I won’t mention it to her.

At this moment, I step out of the house dressed in a bridal costume. Lucien’s eyes are fixated on me, unable to look away. The old grandmother comments on how beautiful I look, and I fidget nervously with the costume, blushing shyly.

Lucien: Mm. Very pretty.

I suck in a deep breath and begin walking towards the two of them. Even though I still feel shy, I continue walking to Lucien determinedly. He holds out his hand and thinks -

What’s before him right now is what his heart desires. 

-

[ CHAPTER THREE ]

After bidding the old grandmother goodbye, the two of us continue our way up the mountain path towards the matchmaking temple. Along the way, there are many ormosia hosiei trees. 

I admire the scenery, but can’t help getting distracted by the thought of wearing matching outfits with Lucien.

MC: Why did the old grandmother lend us a wedding set...

Lucien: Do you mind it?

MC: Not really. It’s just think everyone has misunderstood the reason why we’re here. 

This is because people who walk past us on the path keep smiling warmly. Some even come up to us, offering their blessings and congratulations. The thought of being a newlywed couple with Lucien in the eyes of others makes me shy.

Lucien: I don’t find it a bother to be misunderstood like this. If you mind, however...

MC: I... I don’t mind! Let’s hurry. If we aren’t fast enough, there will be many people queuing up as well!

When we reach the temple, I start gathering all the things we need, such as incense and joss paper. Lucien asks me to wait for a moment, and walks over to the lady boss to speak with her quietly.

While waiting for him, I notice a palmistry booth set up not too far away ,and ask for a reading for my affinity and marriage. The practitioner studies my hand carefully. But the more he looks, the more his smile seems to face. I start to grow nervous.

MC: Is there a problem?

Practitioner: Little Miss, your ‘marriage affinity’ line is too faint and I can’t see it clearly.

[Note from Red: time to boost your affinity stats MC UPGRADE THE COMPANY]

MC: [panicking] How can that be? Look again a little more carefully, please...

Practitioner: This matchmaking temple ties the red thread on your ankle. Anyway, your marriage affinity is invisible and cannot be seen or felt. So, Little Miss, there’s no need to be worried. 

He pours me a cup of tea to calm me down, and I ask what the tea is. He tells me that it’s a ‘linking affinity’ tea, and that I should give a cup to my newlywed husband when he comes over.

MC: He still isn’t... the tea is quite bitter...

[Note from Red: I SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING THERE MC]

Lucien reappears with a pair of flat soled women’s shoes, bends down in front of me and begins to take off my current shoes. The shoes are traditional in appearance to match the outfit, but they don’t fit me well, and it would become a struggle to climb the mountain path. The back of my feet hurt. 

Lucien: Even though this silly girl tried so hard to hide it from me, I still found out in the end. 

Embarrassed, I try to pull my feet away to do it on my own, but Lucien insists and helps me put on the shoes with tender carefulness. When he finishes, I reach for the cup of tea on the table and hold it out to him. 

MC: Lucien, are you thirsty?

Lucien: No, why do you ask?

MC: But the tea here is really delicious! Do you want to try some?

Lucien: Is that so? Then I wonder why a certain someone had a frown on her face and commented that the tea was bitter earlier.

I flush, holding out the tea cup awkwardly with a hand as I try to think of what to say. Lucien seems to enjoy looking at my face and watching my expressions.

Practitioner: The tea tastes bitter, but it has a sweet aftertaste!

I latch on to the excuse like, word for word, ‘a drowning man clinging to a tree branch’.

MC: That’s right, that’s right, that’s right! Now my mouth feels like I’ve just eaten a piece of candy!

Lucien laughs a little.

Lucien: When you put it like that, it’s hard not to be moved. Since that’s the case, I will definitely have to drink it well.

At first, Lucien reaches out for the tea cup on the table. But his hand suddenly pauses in mid-air, changes direction, and grasps my hand instead. While I panic, Lucien brings the teacup in my hand to his lips and takes a sip.

Lucien: Yes, very sweet. 

-

[ CHAPTER FOUR ]

It takes an hour for us to leave the matchmaking temple. Holding a red perfumed sachet in my hand and two red strings, I pull Lucien along with me under the peach tree in the backyard.

I recall my experience in the matchmaking temple earlier, where we got a red perfumed sachet instead of a light pink one like how previous people did. The staff explained that single people get a pink sachet while lovers get a red one. They also wished us a happy relationship that will last a hundred years.

While I stare dazedly at the red sachet in my hand, Lucien thanks the staff.

Remembering the way he had smiled at the sight of the red sachet, I am a little embarrassed and my cheeks turn red. Following the other visitors, I tie the first red string we obtained from the temple onto one of the tree branches and am about to reach for the second one when Lucien stops me. 

Lucien: Here I was, wondering why you were trying to take my red string away. So this is the reason...

MC: ...the staff told me that if I tie the strings together, the gods will see it more easily! Besides...

Before I can continue, I shut my mouth. When two people tie their strings together, it signifies 以树为媒，天地作证“ (i.e. take the trees as your matchmaker, heaven and earth will bear witness to your union).

Lucien: Besides...?

MC: It’s just a better guarantee that the gods will notice it!

Lucien: But you seem to be missing something.

Lucien places his red string into my palm.

Lucien: This red string of mine - would you be willing to help me keep it?

I panic at his words and Lucien laughs, pulling away.

Lucien: All right, I won’t tease you. 

There’s a commotion from a group nearby, and I wonder if it’s the famous “affinity stone” they’re looking at. 

The affinity stone is the other attraction of the mountain aside from the matchmaking temple, and it is said to bless people with good marriage affinity. 

Lucien nudges me lightly towards the group. 

Lucien: Let’s go over and see.

We queue up for a while and finally reach the affinity stone. After a moment, Lucien takes my hand. 

Lucien: Aren’t you going forward to pray?

I think for a moment, then shake my head.

MC: Better not. Too many of my wishes have already come true today. The gods might think that I’m too greedy.

MC: Actually, before we came here, I visited the palm reader. He said my marriage affinity line is too faint to be seen, but he also said afterwards that the red string of fate tying people together is invisible too.

MC: But now, I feel like I understand. Fate has always been something mystical and cannot be changed - only treasured. Am I right?

After saying these words, I try to dispel my negative thoughts. But Lucien makes a thoughtful expression.

MC: Lucien, do you want to offer a prayer? Ah, what nonsense am I saying? You’re a scientist, so you probably don’t believe in any of this....

Lucien: It’s not because of the reason you’ve mentioned. It’s just that in my opinion, there’s no need to do such a thing.

The wind blows. At this moment, many butterflies suddenly flutter over to the peach tree we are standing under. I reach out to touch a butterfly, and Lucien imitates me. A butterfly lands where our fingertips touch.

MC: Lucien, look! So pretty.

Lucien: Who says affinity is invisible? Before me right now, isn’t affinity made visible? 

He looks at me with calm certainty and sincerity in his eyes. 

-

After visiting the affinity stone, I begin to tie a decorative chinese knot.

Lucien: What are you tying?

MC: I’m making something that can be worn on the wrist, although I don’t know if it’d turn out well. 

Lucien: I'm looking forward to it. However, do you not have enough strings? Why have you taken mine as well? 

MC: ...I wanted to make one for you too!

Lucien: But as far as I’m aware, a red string with a knot to be worn around the wrist has a special meaning.

MC: I-is... is that so?

Lucien: If lovers wear them, it symbolises “lifelong love”. But if a single person wears it, it means “peace and safety”. This time, which should I believe?

MC: Err...

Upon seeing my stunned face, Lucien simply laughs and reaches out to poke me gently on the nose.

Lucien: It’s alright. I just couldn’t resist teasing you. You don’t need to...

Before he can complete his sentence, I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him on the cheek lightly. 

Lucien’s eyes go wide, and his smile deepens. Heart racing, I say in a voice just loud enough for the both of us to hear:

MC: The first meaning!

-

[ CHAPTER FIVE ]

Since it’s getting late, Lucien and I head back down the mountain path. I take out the “Lover’s Knot” that I made earlier using the strings from the temple, and place it in Lucien’s hand.

MC: This one is done! Here, see if it fits.

The knot isn’t very fancy or elaborate, but it contains all my sincerity. The other half-completed knot is clutched tightly in my own hand.

Lucien: This knot...

Has he seen through me?

[Note from Red: no shit mc you’re as subtle as a wrecking ball in a china shop]

Smiling, Lucien slips the knot onto his left wrist very carefully.

Lucien: It fits very well. You did a good job. Compared to the peace knot you made the last time, you’ve improved a lot.

MC: That was my first time!

Lucien: Did you have a lot of practice?

MC: Instead of practicing, I discovered the secret to making a good knot! The secret is... when you make the knot, you have to think about the person who’s going to be wearing it! That way, your thoughts and feelings will be woven into the knot!

Lucien: Did someone tell you this secret?

MC: I really can’t hide anything from you! Actually, I asked the old grandmother to teach me a little earlier. She said that “two strings tied together are called a ‘knot’. The fate of two people tied together is also called a ‘knot’. The ‘Lover’s Knot’ is not just a decoration, but symbolises love and longing between two people.

Lucien: So, it holds much meaning. Thank you for telling me.

When our gazes meet, it’s as if the world has fallen silent, leaving nothing but the echo of our heartbeats. The scenery around me seems to lose all colour, except for Lucien and the red fruit of the ormosia hosiei trees.

[Trivia from Red: They are also called love seeds, symbolising love and fidelity. In countries such as China and Taiwan, men often give these red beans to their lovers as an expression of commitment. It’s also a cultural belief that if married couples put six red beans underneath each of their pillows, their love will remain throughout eternity.]

MC: “Love seeds embedded in ivory dice, my yearning for you engraved into my bones...”

Even though I say this softly, it reaches Lucien’s ears. His eyes are wavering, and he seems to have been caught off guard by my words. I realise what I just said aloud and hurry to clear up the misunderstanding.

MC: It’s just a quote I really liked when I was a student! I even wrote it down on a bookmark! I just said it aloud when I saw the scenery...

Lucien doesn’t say a word, and only smiles at me. After a few moments, he speaks.

Lucien: Do you have any inspiration for the next episode yet? 

I nod at first, but shake my head afterwards.

MC: About the legend of the matchmaking temple, I’m not sure which is the best angle to approach it... There are people who love each other till they die, and there are also people who carry the love of another person as they walk alone. Doing either requires courage, but as you said, both cannot be differentiated...

Lucien: If you don’t know how to approach it, how about thinking about it from a different perspective, or finding new inspiration? Would you be willing to listen to my suggestion?

MC: Of course!

Lucien: As you were saying earlier, when two strings are tied together, they form a knot. When tied on the wrists, they hold two people together.

MC: What you’re saying is that love is what ties people together? That it’s something like the red string of fate?

Lucien: Even if two people aren’t together, their mutual longing for each other can be felt through the string of fate that connects them.

Lucien picks up one end of the knot tied around his wrist. With the other hand, he takes the end of the string in my hand.

Lucien: When tied together by fate, even if separated at the ends of the world, it will never break. 

[2018shawn]

quarantine and chill

warnings: I haven’t written in a while so this may be sucky but have fun kids. not proof read : ----) nsfw/sexy times

“I already rearranged your wardrobe three times because for the first time in my life, I couldn’t watch another episode of Friends!” She exhaled, slumping herself down onto the second wheeled chair, her weight shifting the leather seated pew a few inches away from her other half who sat opposite, legs opened wide, still engaged deep in his work.

“You did?” He smirked somewhat, finally diverting his eyes away from the pages in front of him and swivelling his chair to situate himself completely parallel to her crossed armed, sulking figure.

“Yeah… I mean, first I did it in sleeve length, because you might want to dress weather appropriate. Then I didn’t like that, so I changed it to style of item, so all your tee shirts, then all your shirts, then all your sweaters etc etc…” She was rambling, but it made him smile. His heart was warm with the little gestures she’d always put into their relationship and she didn’t even know she was doing it. He also loved how her hands would wave around expressively every time she would babble on about things that weren’t particularly of any importance, just like she was doing now. He stretched out his arm and wrapped his fingers around the pad of the seat where her legs weren’t covering as she’d somehow pulled them up, holding them close to her chest. With one swift tug, the chair glided along the studio floor, only stopping when it came into contact with his own chair, disallowing for her to be any closer. “But then I eventually decided on colour order, which isn’t of any practicality whatsoever, but… it looks pretty” She shrugged, outstretching her legs to rest over his thick thighs which were unfortunately covered by his I’m in isolation sweat shorts.

His hands synchronously, starting at her ankles, traced her soft legs, leaving a trail of goose pimples behind from his delicate touch. He’d always wondered how someone could get their skin to be this level of soft 24/7, but she always insisted that it was just down to the vanilla pumpkin body butter she used all year round, despite the fact it was a seasonal fragrance. “I’m just… BORED” She groaned, not allowing his hands to get any higher than the bottom of her own gym shorts, because that was just too much of a dangerous territory for his hands to be in without her feeling like melted butter. He happily allowed their hands to entwine, more than approving of any bodily contact with her. Her legs were still strewn over his, their bodies looking like a complicated position of figures, but to them, it was the most comfortable thing in the world.

Her bum was barely resting on her own seat, and was more supported by the way her legs slotted through the arm rest of his chair mixed with the strength of his arms, feeling the need to try pull her as close as possible. “I’ll finish up here, bub. I’m sorry” He apologetically smiled, but he knew full well how much she understood his need to keep in contact and communicate with his team. He followed his statement by tugging gently, but strongly enough to shift her weight, allowing her body to completely disconnect with the office chair she was sat on. He pulled her close enough so that their chests were almost touching, and for once, she was towering over him due to the sitting position they’d found themselves in. She attempted to look down at his chiseled features, wanting nothing more than to stay this close to him forever, but her wild hair fell in front of her eyes, restricting her view. She blew on it several times, in an attempt to move the auburn, bouncy waves but failing miserably.

Laughing up at her, he untangled his fingers that were still being held captive in hers, and brought his hands up to push her wild lion-like mane behind her ears. “Hi...” he almost whispered, more than happy to see her stunning features smiling back at him.

Just as she was about to reply, he cut her short, to her surprise, his lips landing on hers with the softest yet eager passion, almost as if his life depended on the kiss. She moaned quietly into his lips in return, which made his dick twitch with lust beneath her as she unknowingly turned him on, just like most days. He wanted her more and more each second that past. And that feeling was more than mutual. 

Their lips were wet, making up for the time he’d been working in his home studio and she’d be pottering around upstairs in an attempt to put a stop to her boredom. His hands tangled in her now extra messy hair, whilst hers balled up the fabric of his shirt in her hands. She was the first to pull away, finishing the romancing with a nose boop. He’d never understood how someone could be incredibly, painfully sexy at the same time as being adorably sweet. “Shawn... I'm...” Kiss. “So...” Kiss. “Bored.” She finished with a smile, wriggling her legs in an attempt to try and get out of the locked position but failing immensely. 

Ironically, the force of her pushing down in an attempt to try and get herself up was not helping the situation happening in his gym shorts and he wasn’t sure if she knew. She of course, did know, and was an expert at playing him to his weaknesses, knowing absolutely full well he loved nothing more than for her to be on top of him. 

“Let’s go on a date.” He blurted quietly, face still as close as could be. She screwed up her face which way by far her normal reaction to a suggestion such as this. “Erm, Shawn... I don’t know if you’ve spent that much time down here you’ve forgotten there’s a worldwide PANDEMIC...” she theatrically began, “meaning you, nor I, are in any position to leave that god damn front door... unless it’s time for our daily 60 minute walk outside” She rested herself on the studio desk, careful not to lean back a touch too much and start pressing a bunch of buttons she had absolutely no idea how to work. The one time he left her in charge to press one single button, she ended up deleting the backing track and setting his microphone to auto tune. Still to this day has he never even figured out himself how to do that. 

“Doesn’t mean I can’t wine and dine you” He smirked, mirroring her movements by placing a hand either side of her, the muscles in his arms bulging as he gripped onto the wooden surface so he didn’t fall for her more than he already had. She never showed any signs of feeling it, but she was hot. And bothered. And everything in between. 

“Oh...” she quietened, cheeks blushing slightly crimson after her dramatic reminder that they were in fact in quarantine. 

“So, if it’s possible, go make yourself look even prettier than you do now and meet me in the kitchen at 7pm” he smiled, fingers finding their way back to her soft hair, and not for the first time this evening if he had anything to do with it. 

She pressed a hand to his chest, and tried to make it look like it didn’t take all of her effort to move his firm body. They both knew it did, and he was smug. She walked away with just a touch extra of a hip sway, not needing eyes in the back of her head to know he was staring like a 13 year old boy. “It’s an... isolation date” she smiled, turning round to look at him again, her figure leaning into the doorframe, fingers tapping on the sound proofed walls. The walls that had heard their screams so many times before. The walls he wished she wasn’t walking out of right now. 

--

She was humming along to some summer walker song she barely knew the name of, applying her favourite shade of Milani lipstick to accentuate her favourite facial feature - her lips. It was a loud hammering on the bedroom door that snapped her out of her concentration, only then just realising how loud her music was playing. The banging repeated when she didn’t respond. To say she was confused would be an understatement; the only person would it would be is Shawn, so why in the heck wouldn’t he just walk into his own bedroom like he normally does without a care in the world? The third attempt of a knock was what interrupted her make up routine in order to swipe down on her phone screen to quieten the music, although she couldn't help but laugh at the same time before she walked over to the door. “Shawn, this is your room you...” She flung the door open and became instantly speechless. 

It wasn’t Shawn. It was a greek God with muscles almost bursting out of his black, crisp shirt. A jawline that could cut a bitch. Curls that could make her go dizzy. With another harsh blink and fresh breath, it was only then she realised it was Shawn. “...dumb-ass.” She finally finished her previous sentence, unknowing whether she’d been staring at him for 5 seconds of 5 minutes. 

“That’s not a very nice way to address your date...” He began, pulling his arm from around his back and stretching out towards her, his hand holding a single pink rose, “dumb-ass.” How he’d managed to pull a ‘date night’ outfit out of the bag without having access to his room baffled her, but it didn’t take too much of her thought, it simply just left her stumped for words - which is something she wasn't often. “You look incredible” He continued, aware of the silence from her, but instead of pointing out and making a deal about it, he prompted her.

“So do you” She smiled, reaching and taking the rose in one hand, filling the void with her own fingers. He welcomed her gesture, but instead of pulling her in like he normally would, he simple raised her hand and placed a sweet, gentle kiss on the back of her hand which only made her giddy with butterflies. 

“Care to join me downstairs?” He smiled, not letting go of her hand and holding it as if he had no other choice. She nodded, feeling nothing but warmth and first date nerves - although it was far from their first date. They chatted on their way down the stairs, Shawn one step below her at all times, making sure he was her weight - he knew high heels were not her strong point. They were most definitely his weakest when it came to seeing them on her. 

Some dumb joke he told her on the way into the kitchen made her belly chuckle, almost that much she didn’t see that vast amount of candles and decoration surrounding the dining table that sat adjacent to the open planned kitchen. The white, marble table was covered in tea lights, illuminating the room bar the under cupboard lights shining from the kitchen. A small gift bag was sat in what would be her normal seat. The seat where she'd eaten many a breakfast, cried and laughed uncountable times and on the odd occasion, ridden Shawn until they both physically couldn’t move. “What... I... How?” 

He turned around to face her once he’d realised she’d stopped walking and began walking backwards, watching her speechless features taking in every little detail. “If we can’t go for date night, I'll bring date night to you” he shrugged, eventually reaching her chair and pulling it out for her before ushering to have a seat. 

The next few moments were spent opening the bottle of wine, which she was grateful for, and both of them getting back to as normal as can be. “Thank you” She interrupted his story on how he’d tried to do something fancy with some asparagus but of course it failed miserably. 

“What for?” He laughed, placing the white wine back into the wine colour and lifting her glass towards her, prompting her to do that same. She obliged happily, and the room was filled with the sound of a clink. 

“This, it’s beautiful” 

“Beautiful setting for a beautiful lady” He took a large sip of his wine, as if he needed the liquid courage, to which unbeknown to her, he did. He laughed nervously, and she instantly knew he was up to something, because the Shawn she knew only shuffled around on his feet and lingered for 2 seconds too long when he was waiting for something to happen. “God, I was going to wait until after dinner but, can I ask you something?”

Bingo. 

“Anything” She smiled, using her heeled foot to push out his chair for him, realising that if he didn’t sit down soon he’d probably end up on the floor. He couldn’t cope with it; the sexiness, mixed with the politeness, mixed with the bare leg that he so desperately wanted wrapped around his neck. He snapped himself away from that thought, picking up the small bag he’d place on her place mat, fiddling with the tiny bow that was on the string. “So, it’s occurred to me, these past few weeks have been awful for many people and I wish nothing but the best for everyone...” He felt himself beginning to babble so took another sip of his drink. “But for me, it’s been an eye opener.”

She stared at his lips when he talking, “oh?” she asked, her heart beating ten to the dozen. 

“I’ve enjoyed every single second of you being here. Even when you leave your socks all over the bedroom floor, or use a different glass every time you have a drink of water or... you’re just annoying actually” He laughed, resulting a light slap on the arm from her. “But seriously, I can’t imagine you not being here anymore and I'm so happy this whole thing hit when it did and not when I was halfway across the world and couldn’t travel to you.” His hands were clammy, his head was fuzzy and his mouth was dry - even with his third large gulp of wine. To most people it would be no big deal, but to him, the question meant everything. It meant he may have to deal with the rejection he’s had to deal with many times before, it meant he would have someone to wake up too in the night when his anxiety was unsettling him, it meant he’d finally found someone he knew understood him. “I don’t want you to go...”

“Go? I’m not going anywhere. We haven’t eaten yet and I'm hung...”

“Move in with me?”

--

“So, maybe now you’ll have to rearrange the wardrobes again and make some room for yourself?” he cooed, with a hint of smugness in his voice. Not that he was smug 2 hours ago when he was shaking like a leaf over asking her to move in. She was finishing putting the pots away, even though he insisted not to do it, she insisted she’d like to wake up tomorrow and not have to think about doing it. He helped... by pouring more wine. 

“Hmmm... I'm not too sure you know” She giggled, throwing the cloth down onto the counter and turning around, her high heels clicking against the floor as she did so. She was feeling happy, tipsy, grateful, everything she always felt when she was in his presence. 

“Reckon I could help you be sure about that” She knew he was feeling the influence of the wine because he has a constant smirk on his face now. Not that she minded; he looked sexy. He used his foot to push himself off the bar stool that he was half sitting on, half standing against. 

“Oh yeah?” She asked, raising her eyebrows as she watched his tall, thick figure walk towards her until he was eventually overpowering her much shorter frame. He placed an arm either side of her, officially blocking her in. 

He was close enough that she could feel his every breath, even more so when his head dipped down and his lips lingered just millimetres away from her own. He hovered there for a second, until he physically couldn't resist finally tasting her. She was more than accommodating to him, falling straight into his trap like putty, just like always. Her hands unwrapped from around her own body and snaked around his, palms smoothing over his soft shirt. She smiled against the kiss as her fingers fiddled with the belt loops on the back of his trousers, which only made him itch closer. He kept one hand on the kitchen counter, whilst the other glided up her body until it reached around the back of her neck, grabbing a handful of her of her perfectly curled hair. With one sudden tug, her head is forced backwards, leaving a welcoming amount of skin accentuated. Her eyes remained closed, taking in every sense other than sight. 

She could smell his deep cologne; a mixture of juicy and spicy with an innocent hint of vanilla that oozed sexuality. Hers? Hers has base notes of patchouli, mixed with a hint of jasmine and was one of the only scents he loved more than that damn vanilla pumpkin body butter. She could hear and feel his lips, effortlessly at work, sucking lightly at the skin around her collar bone as if he was tracing the positioning of her perfume. The sound of his lips smacking her skin was enough to make her weak at the knees and she was eternally grateful that he was somewhat supporting her body. But most of all, she could feel his love. His passion. The energy overpowered the room and she wanted to be held captive in it forever.

His soft but husky groan snapped her out of her dreamy state just in time to hear him speak quietly. “Turn around”, he instructed, moving both hands to her hips to guide her 180 degrees. She obeyed him without question, submissive to his every demand. One hand remained on her hip, the other pressing on her shoulder blade, that was only a fraction covered by the spaghetti strap of her dress, in an eagerness to get her bent over the counter. He made sure to push up against her ass, the hardness that was growing in his trousers pushing into her. If she wasn’t wet for him before, she definitely was now. 

The ruched fabric of her dress fell perfectly over her peachy ass and if he wasn’t so ready to fuck her senseless he'd take a step back and stare at her all night long. Her dress had risen up as she leaned over the counter, giving a peak of some lacy underwear he’d picked out and bought for her on a previous occasion. His hand reached around the front of her legs, firmly resting on the front of her thigh, his thumb tracing patterns on the inner part. He could hear her breathe getting deeper and needier. So he gave her exactly what she wanted and shifted his hand further up, bring the material of her dress with it until it ended up just below her stomach. 

His other hand kneaded at her ass in-between gripping her hip for support. His busy hand toyed with the top hem of those lace panties that he loved ever so dearly. “Shawn...” She exhaled, pressing her head to the marble countertop in frustration. The ass-hand left her hip, reaching up and grabbing a section of her hair just like it had done earlier on in the evening. A gentle tug gave her no choice but to follow the direction of his strength and turn her neck to face his still-smirking features. 

“Patience, baby” He cooed, knees bending slightly for his hand on her thigh to be able to reach exactly where he wanted. Before she knew it, his fingers were no longer toying with the hem of her panties, but filling them instead. Moving down to her sweet, desperate folds was all she needed to let out a loud groan that echoed throughout the kitchen. She was wet, needy for the touch of his skin on hers. Two fingers stroked the entrance of her, whilst his thumb only just toying with her clit, instaltaniously making her twitch in tune with her groaning. He was toying with her and she knew it, but she couldn’t help but whine and plead for more. He gave her more of what she wanted, rubbing harder on her clit and pushing the tips of his fingers into her folds, rubbing at her juices. 

He swiftly removed his hand, wanted to feel more; taste more. Before she knew, he’d tugged her around to face him again and she loved the way he had the strength to move her body without her having to think about a single thing. His hands on her hips, grasped tight and she knew what he wanted and of course, went along, jumping onto the kitchen counter, automatically wrapping her legs around his waist in an attempt to pull him closer. “Are we really gonna do this in your kitchen?” She giggle, innocently, making his cock twitch. 

“Our kitchen, my love...”