#just jerma things

[dogydayz]

got my blood drawn two weeks ago and just this last Thursday. Theyre tryna figure out what fucking issues i may have and i may have an iron deficiency. Anyway, so I hate needles and i hate having blood drawn, all the shit freaks me out and i have to have very specific accommodations and the ladies were so nice and patient with me, which I was thankful for.

one of the things i do to help me, these last two times i mean, has been to look away and hold my phone in the free hand and focus on a youtube video. Both goddamn times that I did this, that I had my bloodwork done, where I was fuckin terrified of just the thought and not even necessarily what was happening, I watched a very specific video that someway, somehow, perfectly took my mind off of the moment.

"Jerma Laughing at Vehicle Accidents Compilation [Part 1]"

Both times, as I sit there making weird autism stress noises, struggling to not move my arm or body while one lady holds my arm firmly and the other does the needle stuff, whimpering like a fucking dog.... All I hear in the background are the sounds of videogame violence, metal crunching and crashing into other metal and concrete, the sounds of explosions, all followed by crazed laughter and confused, vocal chaos.

I have nothing more to say, I just wanted to share this wonderful experience with everyone.

[absterstuff]

this is the most horrifying thing I’ve ever seen jesus fucking christ

[frennziee]

i was trying to learn how to draw transformers and i accidentally made bumblebee look so incredibly high so i threw this up💀💀this is also the first time ive ever drawn robots

[cartarg]

cooking jermama + darren

[tomatoart]

coffee cheetos chicken

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

You’re right, Machine. It was never about besting you in combat.

It’s about the Mets baby! Love the Mets!

Let’s go Mets! Hit a home run, baby!

Audio source

[randomminty]

If i dont get that eevee bag ill die in the next 5 seconds im serious

[jackmustcry]

He’s my star boy 🌟

[spif-lol]

Reasons why the simpsons hit and run stream is jerma's best stream

it's ELEVEN HOURS LONG

you get to witness his slow descent into madness as he insists on playing the whole game in one sitting

I can watch it when i replay the game, would recommend makes it way more enjoyable

he spends too much time doing really bad impressions trying to copy voice lines for the game and yelling "HIRE ME IM AVAILABLE"

He decides to confess half an hour in that he knows nothing about the simpsons and has only seen like one or two episodes

this is ten minutes after he references a specific episode, and then proceeds to get told off for 'spoiling' an episode of the simpsons (from like 1995) by chat

Chat also somehow manages to convince him that ten year old boy Bart Simpson's famous catchphrase from everyone's favourite family animated tv show is 'eat ass'

In general it switches between him refusing to believe things people tell him about the game despite being true and falling for obvious lies

he starts the game going 'lol wouldnt it be funny if you could run over simpsons characters' and then jokingly drives towards civillians thinking they'll jump out of the way. they go flying. he is so confused

the dissonance between early and later parts of the stream are palpable. It turns from a cheerful and lighthearted exploration of a funny simpsons game that he refuses to take seriously or accept that it could genuinely make him angry, and transforms into a desperate race against time, his computer and his own hubris as he seeks simply to finish the game so he can sleep. This stream destroys him.

the way the stream highlights are named on his youtube is hilarious. "Jerma will not get angry at the simpson's hit and run" -> "Jerma might get a bit angry at the simpson's hit and run" -> "d'oh"

it's extremely funny how many time he's convinced he's in the last level of the game, only to be wrong. the first time he thinks that is in the first section and hour of the stream

easily his most rewatchable stream (this is gonna cover a lot of dot points)

the amount of tragic irony and foreshadowing in this stream is almost cinematic.

at the very start of the game he complains about the music being too loud and monologues about sounds and over stimulation of game music bothers him, which of course will be very funny in the finale

he also comments a few time at the start about how annoying homer's random voice lines are, and says 'oh god he's gonna repeat that a thousand times before the end of this game'. he's right, and it nearly drives him crazy by the final mission

speaking of the final mission(s), the second time he has to transport the toxic sludge from power plant to the school he like pauses the game and very seriously addresses chat like 'alright tell me right now are the next three levels also me driving the nuclear waste to the school that cant be possible right'. and then just accepting in defeat that that is in fact how this incredibly stupid and difficult children's game finishes

when he first races against the malibu stacy car and gets destroyed he gets mad and says he wishes he could drive that car. then when he gets to drive it in later levels he quickly decides its his favourite and maintains that until the end of the game

on rewatch... you hear him audibly crack open a can that chat demands he prove to them is soft drink and not alcohol like A WHOLE HOUR before The Incident and it's a little like watching a disaster movie where you see the characters laughing and having fun little knowing how they are being hastened towards their own doom... like chat keeps bugging him about it, he keeps making excuses, he keeps sipping the drink. they bring attention to it so much and you listen to it just knowing the pain that is yet to come. dramatic irony at its finest and most heartache inducing

15. ohmyfucking gaaaawd no! no... god... ICANDOITINAJUMP! ..... BART. WHERE IS HE??? BAAART!!!! AAAUUGH

16. actually fr there's a lot of memorable jerma lines in this stream, rewatching it is like watching a jerma funny moment compilation

17. the final couple of levels where he is getting steadily more overwhelmed to the point of ferality, and then he says he has an idea and goes to the sound menu and turns everything off. voice lines. music. sound effects. and then we watch him play the level in complete silence. and it actually helps him focus its really funny

18. the whole tragic sequence where he is in the FINAL LEVEL. he has played it so many times and just missed it by a few seconds. he is tired. he is hungry. he just wants to get off stream and eat a BURGER. he is focussing as hard as he can. he is almost there. he runs over too many things and the police are after him. but its okay. he's doing it! he's gonna make it!!! he gets to the school with time to spare and is sucked up into the end of the game beam. it's over. except then the police get sucked into the beam as well. he gets arrested in the beam. which teleports him and the car out of the beam. WHICH MEANS THE TIMER RUNS OUT AND HE LOSES. so he has to do it all over again. it's actually so so so funny and also something i think i personally wouldn't survive if i was in jerma's position in that moment

19. okay we have to talk about The Incident. bc i already alluded to it and bc like, i couldn't not talk about it. as stated above Jerma cracks open a can so you can hear it and chat immediately accuses him of being an alcoholic. he adamantly insists that it is a soft drink not a beer but they refuse to believe him unless he proves it by showing camera. he's playing on a modded ps2 pc port or whatever of the simpsons so it's a complicated setup and he explains that it would be too hard and also he's shirtless so they will just have to believe without seeing. chat continues to harass him while he goes on to play the game, specifically most of the lisa level. he laughs it off but eventually caves, gets up and get a blanket to cover himself and then alt tabs, holds his can up to the camera and says 'alright you satisfied? that might have just fucked up the game'. so then he tries to tab back into the game and it. crashes. hard. so hard that the game won't actually turn back on. so jerma's cursing and fiddling with the controls and saying its over. then it finally reboots and the game works and he's so relieved and it loads and he realises that he has lost SO MUCH PROGRESS. he's back at the start of the lisa section. this is truly the turning point of the game where it goes from being a fun experience to a nightmare gauntlet

20. on a related note: jerma waiting with bated breath *sound of simpsons game booting back up after refusing to for far too long* jerma: yeeeAAAAAH

21. im watching it right now as i replay, which is why im thinking about it obv. so i will almost certainly have more to add to this

[potatocrisp]

[chonnysinferno]

uhhhh fart and mint i n, yea and soul cause. astrjum watned to draw. himsrlf i guess

[spitblaze]

you guys GOTTA stop making incredible fandom art that captures my attention so well with its themes and color and composition and implications it makes me go 'woah, that's cool, I wonder what show/book/game this is for?' and then I go to check the source tags and it's for a minecraft youtuber

[eat-rock]

jerma’s modded lethal company stream was so chaotic

[highfunctioningfleshrule63]

i mean this in the nicest kindest way

[probablytree]

compilations of some doodles of that guy. jerry

[wulvert]