#just in general fat people. fat trans people exist and there is such a pressure for hyper gendered presentation when youre fat | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rotationalsymmetry · 1 year ago

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General post about fatness:

First, most importantly, fat people are people and deserve basic human rights like access to health care and, eg, an ability to eat whatever the fuck they feel like without the entire world breathing down their shoulders about it. Fat people, no matter how fat and no matter why they're fat, have a right to exist in public without harassment, deserve to not be discriminated against in the workplace, and deserve to be treated considerately and respectfully by people around them. To be treated like people and not like walking fixer uppers.

But also, the effect of people's choices on whether they're fat or not is somewhere between less than most people think, and zilch.

There's some evidence that attempting to lose weight statistically leads to a higher weight in the long run than not attempting to lose weight. (Including when taking starting weight into account.) Which sounds made up but, well. There are also negative effects of attempted weight loss, sometimes very related to a person's relationship to food and their self image and sometimes unrelated, like just not being able to spend that time and attention on something else.

But also, while being obese is correlated with worse health outcomes (being overweight is actually correlated with a longer life than being a "normal" weigh) it's not clear that that's a causal relationship, as opposed to, well, sick people can be unusual thin or unusually fat. Sickness is correlated with disregulation in general, sometimes that's fever, sometimes that's dangerously high or low blood pressure, sometimes that's dangerously high or low blood sugar levels, sometimes that's weight gain. Plus, it's not clear how much of the negative outcomes of being fatter aren't actually about the fat itself but are about social stigma against fat people, leading to more stressful lives, lower incomes, less social support, and often substantially worse health care.

It's possible to take a weight neutral approach to health, individually. It's possible to take a weight neutral approach to health collectively, eg by having walkable cities, combatting food desserts, holding public school lunches to high nutritional standards, and making sure workers get sufficient time off (which is good for stress management and for eg not dpreading communicable diseases.) It's also possible when focusing on the individual to just accept that lots of people do things that are pleasurable but not that healthy/safe, from staying up late to riding motorcycles, and people get to do that, including when that involves eating high calorie food and being a couch potato, and including when those people are also fat.

(and also weight is not as correlated with food choices as people think. Lots of thin people eat junk food and lots of fat people eat undressed lettuce for lunch every day and are still fat. And also food choices aren't always choices, sometimes people can't afford more nutritious food. And also...)

Disabled people are both more likely to be fat and more likely to not be able to "make healthy choices". Poor people are both more likely to be fat (in part because food insecurity, either through dieting or from just not having food, tends to lead to more weight gain in the long run) and more likely to not be able to "make healthy choices". Some people of color are more likely to be fat due to genetics, possibly on top of other factors like poverty and disability.

and also not all fat people are judged equally. Fatness tends to be held against women more, held against visibly trans people more, held against visibly/known to be disabled people more (including developmentally or intellectually disabled people), held against people who are poorly dressed more (for instance due to poverty or disability, including disabilities that aren't otherwise visible), and held against people of color more. Ergo, while fatphobia harms all fat people, it especially harms people who are transgender, disabled, poor, and/or non-white especially badly and resisting fat phobia/supporting fat liberation has the potential to be of extra benefit to those people.

(plus also there's a lot to be said for viewing fatness to be itself in the same category as disabilities and deformities, not because fat people are automatically less capable but because the discrimination plays out the same way. And there's overlap sufficiently often, with medical conditions being a factor in weight gain or medications being a factor in weight gain fairly often, that often it's not possible to tell whether someone being fat is caused by a disability or not.)

oh and I left out: sometimes gaining weight into an overweight or obese category is correlated with better health, as in recovery from eating disorder or from a different condition that caused weight loss.

Anyways there's a lot going on with fatness and societal assumptions about fatness and I always feel like I'm doing the rest of them a disservice when I only talk about one or two so here's a whole bunch all together.

#Really irritated that my mom swallowed the have to lose weight to be healthy thing #I really don't think she was being vain about it she just wanted to be a good person

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grison-in-space · 1 year ago

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Well, hell, that's pretty much the same experience I've had, or at least it resonates real strong with me. I think the other thing about the gender binary, such as it is, is that I personally don't think it's a binary at all: I think that the fact that we have thousands of more specific schemata that are broadly lumped and then collapsed under the meta-concept of "male" and "female" shows that the binary is just one more of those cases where we collapse way the fuck too much variation under a "default" that isn't actually an unmarked category at all. For example, make a list of traits you associate with Woman, and then make a list for Black Woman, or Working-Class Woman, or Geek Woman, and you'll see what I mean. Suddenly the categories change. It's just that "default" Woman belongs to a much, much narrower hegemonic tradition than it pretends to, just as whiteness tends to claim a universality that doesn't actually exist.

This ain't to say that nonbinary isn't real or a valid or a totally fair way to identify. It's also not to say, bluntly, that pronouns are the end all / be all of nonbinary or gender non conforming experience and identity. They aren't. There's plenty more to it than that. It's not a good idea to assume that everyone has a uniform understanding of gender or gender divergence, and it's an even worse idea to assume that the only reason to choose a set of pronouns is that you haven't thought about them very much.

Cut to spare dashes.

One of the things I miss about the transition from genderqueer as a catch all to nonbinary is that nonbinary really takes that hegemonic unmarked state of gender differentiation at face value. Okay, the language says, there is a uniform binary of what "male" and "female" mean, and I'm not in either group. And of course in practice nonbinary people have all matter of complications for that, because humans are complicated and language is imprecise and so are the models we use to understand the world.

As the external pressure on trans people gets harsher, I'm increasingly (and slightly sullenly) making the choice to let my pronoun and terminology preferences go, especially in majority straight/cis/gender conforming spaces. (I generally prefer she/her butch/gender non-conforming/genderqueer.) It is and has been really, really important to me to have my social status as both female and significantly gender non conforming* felt and acknowledged in social spaces, but it's also increasingly less of an option as transphobia gets more aggressive and people start trying to proactively signal their alignments. It's hard to be effectively unaligned in times of open conflict.

I mean, I've never backed down from a fight before, and it's often useful to be the drawling butch in the corner noting that I've been hanging out with non-binary and trans people for my entire adult life, and the only people who have ever made me feel like I have to be any particular way are very much cis and gender conforming. But increasingly I'm very aware of the reality that cis/conforming people aren't good at making that distinction, and they will see me a certain way, so maybe it's better to just let it happen even if I'm internally cranky about it.

Eh. Who the hell knows. I got no answers here, just a deep affinity with your experiences, OP. You're not the only one.

Also LOL at the idea that this is just happening to you because people are defaulting to they/them. No, absolutely not, I've had someone proudly tell me that she was discussing some departmental issue and that she'd said that the only trans person she was aware of thought XYZ. I perked up and asked hang on, who is it, I want to be friends with them! so she awkwardly told me she was talking about me. She'd known me maybe six years by this point. This is not a matter of universal defaults, it's a matter of defaults when you look and act like us.

*y'all can't see me because it's the Internet, but I generally present as a little middle aged fat butch dressed in dad buttondowns and slacks or golf shorts: that is, a presentation that I generally do not see outside of broadly transmasc spaces. I have never in my life been assumed to be straight.

girl help I'm getting they/them'd by well-meaning people who don't know what a tomboy is

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nothorses · 3 years ago

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"Transandrophobia" Primer

There's a wild amount of misinformation about the term "transandrophobia" going around, and has been for a long time. So let's dig in a bit and set the record straight.

What it is

"Transandrophobia" was coined as an alternative to "transmisandry", and describes the unique oppression targeted at and faced by transmasculine folks (and people perceived to be transmasculine).

Transmascs experience oppression not just on the basis of being trans, or (typically) AFAB, and certainly not on the basis of being men alone. What we experience is unique to being transmasculine, and the way cissexist society categorizes and responds to us: not as women, not as men, but as an "other" that lies between the two.

Some quick examples of transandrophobia:

Trans men are the most likely group in the trans community to have negative experiences with healthcare providers.

AFAB trans people in general are most likely to be denied HRT.

Trans men are most likely to be denied surgery coverage.

Trans men are most likely to avoid healthcare out of fear.

Nonbinary people and trans men were most likely to report having never, or only sometimes, been treated with respect by law enforcement.

Trans men are more likely to experience problems with airport security.

Trans men are most likely to avoid public restrooms.

Over half of all AFAB nonbinary people and trans men experience sexual assault. These are the highest rates in the queer community.

9 out of every 10 trans men seriously consider attempting suicide. This is the highest rate in the queer community.

About half of all trans men attempt suicide. This is the highest rate in the queer community.

What it Looks Like

Transmascs are generally placed in one of two categories: confused "girls" they believe can be saved, and evil, dangerous "other" they believe are beyond saving. There's a ton of overlap in these two categories, both in what they experience, and in the fact that oftentimes the two are experienced simultaneously; even in the same situation.

A quick, incomplete list of how these things can manifest:

Infantilization ("soft", "little")

Removal of autonomy

Stereotyping as "whiny", "hysterical", or "entitled".

"Butch flight" or "ROGD" - the idea that transmascs are stealing butch lesbians.

Pressuring transmascs to be more feminine/womanly, either through overt force, or through subtler manipulation.

The desire to "make transmascs women" via sexual assault (corrective rape).

The idea that testosterone causes aggression; emotional, physical, and sexual- therefore transition is dangerous, and transmascs who transition are dangerous.

Fearmongering around transmasc transitions; "binders can never be safe", "vaginal atrophy is untreatable", "you'll get fat/ugly/acne/sweaty/oily/smelly", "phalloplasty is too dangerous/expensive/unsatisfying to be worth it", etc.

Medical professionals dissuading transmascs from transitioning; stressing risks that can in actuality be mitigated easily, nitpicking family history without presenting options, etc.

The idea that transmascs only become trans to "escape misogyny" or to "gain male privilege".

Erasure of transmasc experiences, esp. experiences with misogyny and transphobia.

Lack of resources for transmasc abuse survivors.

Lack of resources for transmascs in need of reproductive healthcare on the basis of "male" gender markers, names, voices, and appearances.

Why We Call it That

"Transandrophobia" can be broken down in two ways:

"Trans" + "androphobia" = the "trans version" of "androphobia", a fear of men or social bigotry toward men.

"Trans-andro" + "phobia" = a social bigotry directly specifically at trans men/transmascs.

The second is the more common interpretation and usage, largely because the first can be interpreted, by some, to mean that those using the word are suggesting that it's actually (cis) women who oppress (cis) men, that we don't believe patriarchy exists, etc. This, of course, has never been the intention of the word.

The first break-down above could also be interpreted to refer to patriarchy's negative stereotyping of men- as aggressive, dangerous, and sexually predatory.

While that doesn't translate to systemic oppression of cis men, those same feelings- a general disgust and fear toward the concept of manhood- do inform how society responds to transmascs. As a group of people who are oppressed on the basis of being transmasculine, those feelings do play a role in transmasc oppression.

What it Isn't

"Transandrophobia" is not an attack on, or accusation toward, any other group of people.

The word does not imply that trans women oppress trans men, that transmascs have it worse than anyone else, that transfems are horrible bigots, that transfem issues do not deserve the attention they receive (or, ideally, far more attention than they currently receive).

It does not imply that cis misandry exists, that "MRAs were right", that patriarchy and misogyny aren't real, or that feminism isn't necessary.

It does not signal bigotry toward other groups. Whatever your personal opinion of the word, of who uses it, or of who coined it, the word is a word and it stands alone from those things. It belongs to the transmasculine community.

It does not demand anyone pay any less attention to other important issues. It does not accuse other trans people of oppressing us. It does not dismiss the existence of patriarchy or structural oppression of women. It does not belong to any one individual.

Why We Need it

There are real, tangible issues within the transmasc community- things that are unique to transmascs- and those things happen because of a unique bigotry toward transmasculinity.

In order to address those problems, we have to be able to talk about what they are and why they happen.

In order to talk about that, we need a word for what it is. "Transandrophobia" is that word.

Don't get me wrong: the word might change at some point, and that's fine. If the transmasc community as a whole decides that we would like a new word, and creates one together that suits those new needs, that's fine. But as of now, this is the most common, recognizable, easy-to-understand word we have.

"Transandrophobia" belongs to the transmasc community, and it's up to transmascs to define, interpret, create or remove associations, revise, and replace, as it sees fit.

What You Can Do

If you're transmasc:

Talk about your experiences. Connect with other transmascs. Join transmasc community spaces, create new ones, and maintain a positive, productive, and inclusive culture within those spaces. Uplift transmascs with different experiences from you.

Be an ally to other trans people, to people of color, to disabled people, and to other marginalized groups. Do not allow resentment toward the trans community- any part of it, and especially toward transfems- to fester in any space you inhabit.

If you're not:

Listen to transmascs. Seek transmascs out to listen to. Uplift transmasc voices. Learn. Ask questions, even if they're scary, and be ready to be surprised by the answers.

Think for yourself. Own your opinions, and own where they're coming from; don't blame them on other trans people. Acknowledge your limitations in experience. Know that you don't need to understand in order to respect us. Try to understand anyway.

#transandrophobia #transmasc #trans #transgender #trans pride #ftm #trans men #transmasculine #trans masc #trans community #long post #saint-speaks

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quillyfied · 4 years ago

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The thing about gender is that even for cis people it can be such a wide and weird experience, if you think about it (bear with me bc I am cis and am having a Feeling about gender idk)

Like. If we are being honest, “gender roles” are performative and not great indicators of what the differences between genders should be (assuming a binary), and personally as a person who identifies as a woman and whose gender identity matches with the physical indicators of what society has termed “female”, I really only settled for “woman” because “person with vagina comfortable with she/her” is unwieldy. I don’t know what “woman” means in my own context except that it just feels right. Comfortable. I’m not mad about being called “they/them” and actively tickled by “sir” but in general I prefer “she/her” and “woman.” I am not a woman in the same way my mom is, or my sister in law, or my best friends. If every woman’s experience with “femininity” is so different, why is it under a single banner? If “woman” is a uniter in a physical sense, how do trans women, both with and without dysphoria, know they feel like women? What does that mean, to be a woman? And if it’s such a personal distinction, why do we have a banner for it at all? Beyond there being a social blueprint for behavior based on external physical indicators, which has been obsolete for decades and was unnecessary before that.

My (painfully moderate) father, when my youngest sibling came out as nonbinary, had a hard time in that he, a cis man, has never had to think about his gender in any meaningful way. It’s never been an impediment to him to be perceived as a man and he’s never considered anything different. In his mind, the idea of “gender” is useless and if we must have “genders”, they should only matter in a medical sense, since the rough binary of human physical sex comes with different medical needs depending on the physical sex traits of each person. While in theory that’s not terrible, it doesn’t reflect the reality of the social side of sex and gender and the history of oppression for not having the indicators of male sex and adhering to the social expectations for having one sex or the other. History is important. History shapes society, which shapes gender identity, since gender is a social construct based on social understanding of external sexual indicators.

Back to my original point, gender is weird even for cisgender folks because even within the constructed binary, people don’t fall into neat categorical boxes and gendering certain activities and behaviors is highly damaging. We know this. We have known this. We have known this to the point that there is an entire character trope of “not like other girls” that has wrapped back around to being a damaging gender-conforming performance. And we also know that the physical indicators of sex aren’t always as cut and dry as they appear, either, regardless of the socialization of the person in possession of any configuration of physical and genetic indicators. There’s intersex folks. There’s chromosomal weirdness. There’s any number of disorders and health issues that can muddle the issue (and I would argue only muddle it in that they can interfere with the vision of standard biological functions, which isn’t always right, either). I have PCOS and produce more testosterone than is typical for a cisgender woman, which manifests in a variety of ways that go against the medical and social definitions of a woman, but I still feel like a woman regardless of facial hair and reproductive ability, and that has nothing to do with my breasts and vagina at all. I’m a woman because it feels right. Full stop. I’m not a man or non-binary or any other gender identity because it doesn’t feel right. Could that change one day? Maybe. I wouldn’t rule it out. But that’s not my current reality. Woman is fine for me. “Girl power” or “sisterhood” exist because of social pressure and shared physical sexual indicators but neither of those things are exclusive to cisgender women, and so the feeling of community I have goes beyond gendered language and rigid definitions. I have as much in common with another cisgender woman who doesn’t like makeup as I would have with a trans man with perpetually sore feet as much as I would have with a non-binary person being fat-shamed as I would have with a trans woman who likes Pokémon. My support and solidarity is not just for people who look and think and behave like me. It’s not even just for cisgender women who look and think and behave like me.

This got really far away from me. But. If the experience of just being a “woman” is so varied and wide open, on both a genetic and a social level, what makes any of us think that 1. There’s such a thing as a simple binary, and 2. Attempting to adhere to it and force others to as well is a good idea?

#what even is gender #gender studies #take several hundred words to say ABSOLUTELY NOTHING #incredible

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lesbiantransdude · 9 months ago

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Let me tell you as I fat curvy trans guy with no desire to change my body, I face misogyny every fucking day. I don't have any "male privilege" and if I stay true to myself rather than give in to the pressure to take hormones so that maybe a few more people will treat me with the respect I ask for, I never will.

I've often found it very hard to fit into most any space, even really queer ones, because of sentiments like those listed above and because my existence just doesn't fit into most people's molds. I haven't even been able to find many other trans men to relate experiences with because so many trans male spaces never talk genuinely about what it's like to exist in society and how we're treated.

It feels lonely. I don't want to be anyone else's idea of a man, I just want to be the man I am. The man that faces misogynistic bullshit on a daily basis. And I want to share who I am as a man and my real life experiences with people who get it without worrying about someone coming in to tell me what being a trans guy or a guy in general "actually" is.

@vaspider I think you hit the nail on the head. I just really hope we can get to "this fucking bullshit sucks for all of us" sometime soon and open up to more real and nuanced conversations.

I kinda just stopped watching videos by trans essayists. Nothing against them personally but there's just so much casual transandrophobia that gets slipped in probably without their knowledge, but it's hard to watch. Jesse gender from her barbie video, she says something that basically implies that somehow trans men are like the common transgender. That he gets praised and benefited from his masculinity in a way that trans women do not benefit from their femininity.

I just wish trans people would stop making sweeping generalizations about all other trans people solely based out of their own experiences.

The video was about white feminism and the lack of Barbies intersectionality but then just ignored the intersectionality of trans men.

#trans man #transmasc #transgender #queer #genderqueer

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cat-boy-tits · 4 years ago

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14, 17, 27, 33, 42, 44, 49, 55, 60, 65, 69, 73, 92, 93, 95, 💯

(any and/or all, dealer's choice lol)

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

oof, uh. yeah actually. i’d tell my sister’s partner to go to a doctor immediately so as not to end up in a shitty new jersey hospital where he fucking died for reasons entirely unrelated to his illness. fuck.

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

no but also...yes! funny thing about russian middle names, they’re patronymics. so your middle name is a derivative of your father’s name which translates roughly to “of (insert father’s name here)”. plus the ending changes based on the gender of the person being named and there are only two options, which is fun. so technically my sister has the same middle name as me. but it isn’t really a middle name as americans understand it. basically any russian person who is afab and who has a dad named boris has the same middle name as me. it’s “borisovna” btw.

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

both? i invert my head and scrunch my hair with a dry and clean t-shirt until it is no longer dripping wet. i vaguely towel so the rest of me isn’t going to drip on the floor, then i get out, apply a little leave in conditioner (further scrunching, gotta preserve that hair texture!) and towel the rest of the way dry. then i leave the bathroom to spend a million years lotioning in the bedroom because that is where my lotion is and i gotta sit down after a shower because being chronically ill is fun. that’s more info than the question required but there you go, my post shower routine.

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

cold. i hate heat. i hate overheating. i overheat very easily and then i throw up. very attractive, i know.

42. What is wrong with you right now?

the weather has been dropping into low pressure over and over so currently i’ve got vague pre/post migraine symptoms. like i just got over a migraine but i will definitely have another one very soon so the post and pre migraine shit is just overlapping right now and i am in heck.

44. Does anyone disgust you?

yes. like physically or morally? but also yes to both. sometimes it’s me.

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

i think i’m supposed to interpret this as meaning something i needed to hear but didn’t want to but i am going to take it literally because my father in law went on an anti-trans rant recently while on a video call with me and my partner and that was...not great. he doesn’t now i’m not cis and doesn’t even use the right words for the people he hates and every word out of his mouth is like a slap in the face. we hung up on him. he doesn’t even know i’m not straight because why would i ever tell him.

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

yeah, all the time. i am, and have always been, the fat ugly weird kid. so anyone who found out i liked them did so against my will. only exceptions are my long time crush from high school who i told years after i was already basically married to someone else. and my partner, i tell him i like him all the time. this is not to say that the people i liked didn’t know. i was extremely obvious. i thought i was very stealthy but i had the tact and social grace of a steam engine.

60. What do you carry with you at all times?

my guilt

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

my cats exist, so yes.

69. Do you have any stickers on your car?

i can’t drive :(

73. Do you like diet soda?

no, ew. the “zero” coke sodas are okay.

92. Have you ever made out in a car?

i don’t think so? if it ever happened it would have been in glompcat’s car and i cannot remember a time when my partner and i were in that car for an extended period of time by ourselves.

93. …Had sex in a car?

hey glompcat and i borrow your car? yes, the car your cat has pooped in several times.

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?

reading really bad BL doujinshi, for science. no really.

i wanted to see if the rumors that kumiko suekane’s most well known yaoi doujinshi is basically just narumitsu fanfiction were true. the answer is no, and yes.

(it’s more that when hired to design rivals for a visual novel she went with her favorite character aesthetic. as in, one is silly and has spiky black hair and one is suave and has floppy light hair. so if anything, ace attorney is just a lawyers au of suekane’s work lol. i don’t recommend reading it though cause it’s got all the really shit tropes and is generally not enjoyable.)

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?

i deleted my facebook to get out of these kinds of situations. also i just really don’t like social media except for tumblr, which doesn’t even count.

#long post #ask meme #i hope these are funny or at least interesting #moth-ra #soof speaks

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jaxsteamblog · 4 years ago

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I started writing an outline for a non existent Flower Shop AU series but it just turned into Loving Avatar Thuy Hours.

Here are some great things about Avatar Thuy (SUPER long post because I love Thuy):

She tells her folks that she’s a girl around the same time she tells them about the bald man who taught her to sling mud. Because there’s not a lot of gendered differences in the Swamp Tribe, the trans thing wasn’t a big deal. Finding out their daughter was the Avatar, on the other hand, REALLY WAS.

The concept of “kin” (FOLKLORE TERM) and the connection of all life in the swamp via the root system has a profound spiritual effect on Thuy. She can perfectly call up any Avatar and, as she gets older, can channel them easily when in the Avatar State. For the on-screen Avatars, here’s Thuy’s hot takes:

Wan- She is Not A Fan. Doesn’t like how he shifts between being super cocky and super insecure. Wishes he had not closed off the Spirit Realm. (Not like it worked, as she gestures angrily around the swamp)

Yangchen- When Thuy learned about Fairy Godmothers from a book of Fairy Tales someone brought into the Swamp, this is immediately who Thuy thought of. Yangchen was always calming and patient, and listened every time Thuy would rant about her cousins stealing a toy or when someone pushed her into the swamp. Family is big in the Swamp and Yangchen became another mother.

Kuruk- He can’t handle kids. He also cannot handle the concept of hick Waterbenders. He is a North Pole Waterbender and (SPOILERS) fell for a high class Fire Nation Lady so, he does not like the Swamp. The Swamp is not a fan of his either.

Kyoshi- TBH Thuy was intimidated by her at first. However, when puberty hit, they talked a lot about body dysmorphia and what it means to be a woman. Thuy was able to accept her body with the continued help of Kyoshi.

Roku- Roku is a story-teller. He told Thuy about the start of the war, and his time with Sozin. He talked about Azulon and what the royal family used to be like. Thuy was fascinated by the Fire Nation, wondering how such a mythological sounding people could do something so human like wage war.It allowed her to think of the Fire Nation as something more than just The Enemy.

Aang- The first Avatar to greet her. He was her confidante and like a very fun grandpa. He taught her to meditate and throw mud pies (breaking the rules by tiptoeing into Earthbender territory). He talked about the war as it was happening, and explained to her how important it was that she grow up safe. He talked about his kids and asked her about the Swamp. He explained how important it was to understand how all things, all nations, were connected and to make friends in every nation. He told her about Zuko, and about his grandkids. Especially Rohan, who might know a thing or two about pronouns.

Sometimes, catgators are tame enough to keep near the residents. However, this is similar to things we see in the news when people keep exotic pets. Tame does NOT equal domestic, and bad things happen. So when Thuy shows up with Mister Whiskers, Everyone Is Quite Alarmed.

Catgators, like real life catfish, are also borderline cryptids. No one knows how old they get. Or how big.

I imagine catgators move like alligators and can be surprisingly fast for their flat, fat bodies. Remember kids, run in a zig zag because they WILL get you.

I am from Florida. I live in Florida once again. My family has lived in Florida since we came to this country. I was “poor white trash” and had an accent. I am NOT indigenous (see above comment about coming to this country). I give Thuy a lot of traits from what I remember about growing up, things I know about the rural south via my family, and throw in the pieces I like from canon. I also want to explore topics that are indigenous specific like what’s happening to the Amazon and the continued sins my country commits on native and/or sacred land. As a sensitivity point: I do not wish to ever write about the trials and tribulations of these issues. That is for native people, as they are the ones who truly understand the generational trauma surrounding it. What I would hope to do is bring awareness to real world situations where we as non-indigenous people can assist.

Don’t let them cut down the Amazon y’all for real. And blowing up Mount Rushmore is RIDICULOUS.

Thuy loves people. Because she’s so used to being around a supportive community, and being a teenager, she doesn’t understand when adults are rude or mocking at first.

However, she is VERY secure about who she is as a person. Her family and tribe has always supported her, so she has a very strong foundation. It takes a lot to rock her. Mostly, she gets embarrassed when people call her out or make fun of her for being loud and overly excited.

She is scared to meet Katara at first, because she learns a little about what Katara did in the war. What and who she lost. She feels bad that she wasn’t there. Thuy doesn’t know how to start a conversation with her, which is bad because Thuy not so secretly wants to replace Kuruk with Katara as her Water Tribe connection. She doesn’t want to go to Arnook, who lost his daughter, or Hakoda, who lost his wife, and Sokka is in the same category as Katara, obviously.

Suki finds her freaking out. And remember, Thuy is a close friend of Kyoshi. They talk and Suki relaxes Thuy by putting the Avatar in Kyoshi robes. Sokka finds them with Thuy thoroughly disguised and, I might actually write this scene so you’ll have to wait.

Thuy likes Azula at first because she is oddly fascinated by the performative femininity of the Fire Nation. Azula is powerful, confident, and very feminine, and that intrigues Thuy. But Azula is Azula and has very little interest in some backwater peasant, even if she is the Avatar.

Toph embraces everything about the Swamp Tribe, as does Rohan, so they are the ones Thuy is the closest to. Toph, as a more destructive Gyatso, figures out how to rig a pressurized device that launches mud projectiles and the two of them wreck havoc at fancy Beifong dinner parties. Rohan takes the technology up a notch and they all terrorize the Air Temples. Doesn’t have the same impact, because they all survived Aang. Toph teaches Thuy to take no shit and give no fucks.

Thuy is insecure about her inability to communicate with the Spirits. Having grown up in the swamp, she could see them and heard how other people ran into them. Especially the refugees that were allowed in. The Spirits seemed to guide certain people to Thuy, which meant they didn’t hate her, but they never seemed to engage. The only thing she could think of was Wan and blamed him unfairly for a long time.

Thuy does a traditional education as the Avatar. She works for a few years with Toph, having a basis in earthbending already from Aang. Crystalbending is her special talent and Toph dismisses it as playing with jewelry (but never discourages her pupil ofc).

Jinora is Thuy’s airbending teacher and spiritual advisor. She is very good about calming Thuy when she continues to have this disconnect with the Spirits, but is unable to help her overcome it.

Tenzin deems Rohan too irresponsible but allows them to ferry Thuy around so they still teach the Avatar new things. Plus, in this world, there’s a secular sect of Airbending that Bumi - Aang’s son and an Airbender since apparently all Air Nomads are Benders?? - started during the war. They have a very loose relationship with the Air Nomad commitment to non-violence and can live in permanent residences. They are required to do their initial training at the temples, but many go back to their homes, don’t shave their heads, don’t live a monastic life, etc. Rohan goes back and forth about their place, but ultimately takes over as the head of the secular branch. It appeals to Thuy more and they take their role very seriously because of the responsibility.

Zuko teaches Thuy firebending. His adaptations to include other styles makes it easier for Thuy to pick up, though she still learns the basics at the Royal Academy for Girls (where she meets Suzu and Zula).

Katara is Thuy’s “master.” She helps Thuy navigate the political world and they work together on the Water Tribe restoration and re-unification plans. Katara oversees the training schedules, the visitations, the summits, the tributes, and every other bit of minutiae. She also gives Thuy a break and they hang out doing Waterbender stuff.

Sokka and Suki teach Thuy non-bending martial arts. Thuy can kick your ass in a multitude of ways basically.

Thuy gets her Avatar Companions at very different stages. You’d think they wouldn’t get along, but Thuy has collected them and they like her, so they make it work.

Suzu and Zula (those are their names, not nicknames) are twins. They are Firebenders and are not related to the royal family at all. They grew up near the palace, went to the Royal Academy for Girls, and were sent to the palace to keep Thuy company and it was supposed to be very formal and politically advantageous for their parents. Except they actually became friends with Thuy and escaped the Fire Nation to go on adventures, which their parents did not like.

Suzu is a blend of Azula and Ty Lee in my mind. She is named in honor of Fire Lord Sozin. (Her family is SUPER into Fire Nation superiority) She is cheerful and enjoys playing around. She and Thuy get overly excited about things together instead of being “mature” and “above such things” as many noble girls tell them repeatedly. Her “Azula” traits come out when someone insults her family or Thuy. She ends up learning chi blocking from Ty Lee. Suzu is not to be left unsupervised.

Zula is a blend of Azula and Mai. She is “the eldest” and does everything her parents tell her to do, even if she hates it. She is named in honor of Fire Lord Azulon (and I guess Azula?). She ends up becoming an instructor at the Royal Academy for Girls until Thuy whisks her away to go adventuring. Zula hates the rigid society among the nobles and very happily dashes off. Can’t say no to the Avatar right??? Her firebending skill is in marksmanship. She can and will singe the sleeve of some snotty little noble from across the room if they irk her. She learns to bend lightning from Iroh and even Thuy is a little scared.

When Thuy moved from her earthbending lessons and onto air, Toph opened up her metalbending academy to have something to do between professional bending competitions. Jae-hwan was a late addition because he couldn’t afford the fees. Then he found out that the fees were arbitrary because Toph is a Beifong and she gave him a room to stay in. Thuy met him when she visited her Sifu and he, not knowing she was the Avatar, stole her purse as a joke. When he did find out, instead of freaking out, started to make fun of her because some lowly Earthbender orphan was able to steal the Avatar’s wallet. He never lets her forget that or any other embarrassing thing he witnesses.

Tashi is very quiet. He surprised everyone by choosing to join Urban Dust, the secular branch of the Air Nomads, instead of continuing on at the temples. People thought he would become a great sage and possibly live old enough to see the next Air Nomad Avatar. But Tashi is a true child of the sky and would live on his Sky Bison Dawa if he could. He does not like being on the ground for long and frequently disappears to go flying. Tashi specifically asked that Rohan be his mentor, again shocking everyone, but Rohan understood. Getting older, Rohan calms down and becomes very philosophical. Tashi finds them to be very wise and they contemplate the nature of things together. Thuy appreciates the one friend of hers that would never end up in jail with her. Tashi brings the bail money. Tashi also hides the body. Tashi can keep secrets.

Aktuk was born and raised in the North Pole. His father is a waterbending master and his mother is a waterbending healer. His older sister is a waterbending prodigy. He lost his leg during his ice dodging ceremony when the boat crashed. As a non-Bender, he had almost drowned and has a fear of the open sea. He makes his own prosthesis and is very into mechanics. When Thuy attended a festival in the North Pole, they had collided because Aktuk was carrying a bunch of parts and material for a project and didn’t see her. Freaking out, Aktuk tried to scurry away as quickly as possible but Thuy kept asking him questions. When she asked how he kept his leg from freezing, Aktuk immediately started to infodump and forgot about being scared. Thuy had to drag him around for awhile, because Aktuk had been basically taught to defer to Benders, but they refused to let him. Suzu and Zula hated the reminder of Fire Nation propriety, Tashi accepted everyone, and Jae-hwan only cared if people were paying attention to him. Thuy and Aktuk date for awhile, but part amicably after they grow into different people.

Thuy saves the world and I steal Korra’s ending for her own. She balances the Spirit World and the Physical World, opening up the portals. She brings back DRAGONS.

Zuko and Katara ultimately retire. Their daughter Izumi becomes Fire Lord. Sokka and Suki’s daughter Kya surprises everyone when they find out she’s a Waterbender and sits on the Water Tribe triumvirate as the chief of the South Pole. Kya and Izumi, having been born on the same day, terrify the rest of the world with their closeness. They consider themselves more like sisters than cousins and have to be repeatedly talked back from their plans to rule the world. They aren’t killing machines, more that they think they know what’s best and only listen to each other. Sometimes Lu Ten. But ALWAYS Suzu.

Rohan becomes the head sage of the Urban Dust and creates a flying society that freaks everyone out for awhile. Tashi goes to the Spirit World for a long time and comes back, a little weird. IDK, I have stuff to explore with him. It’s not bad, just very different.

Suzu marries a nice, minor Fire Nation lord and settles down to teach firebending in his rural home. She adores the royal children and they adore her. When Suzu shows up at either the Fire Nation palace or the South Pole, other people know it’s because either Izumi or Kya were planning something.

Zula never leaves Thuy and they travel together forever. Are they together? IDK, it might just be my attempt to fix (what I think is wrong with) k*rr*sami tbh.

Toph DOES end up going to the Swamp, but her family knows about it and visits her often. Toph does not become a cop ffs, she becomes Willy Wonka but without the candy and slave labor. Lin tries to head the Beifong family after her mother just leaves one day, but she is much more suited to being a metalbending instructor. Once Suyin settles down, she gently pries the Beifong stuff from her sister’s terrified hands and does a really good job at managing Gaoling. They both studied under the Avatar for a little bit, and their rivalry came about with Suyin getting along better with Thuy.

Sokka, pulling an Iroh, never leaves his flower shop. People ask him if he’s THE Sokka, brother of the Queen of the Water Tribes, brother-in-law to the Fire Lord, friend of the Avatar, then the father of the South Pole chief and he always goes “No, I just look like him and we have the same name.”

He often says this while Zuko is sitting with him behind the counter, drinking tea.

Aktuk helps rebuild the South Pole and the Water Tribe navy is reborn. The Earth Kingdom is shook. Toph introduces him to another Swamp Tribe member and he marries her. He loves the Swamp. The Swamp Tribe gains a lot more replacement limbs that were lost to catgators.

Jae-hwan has a hard time letting go of the metalbending academy. He basically grew up there, and spent every free moment there if he wasn’t travelling with Thuy. When Toph has kids, he realizes he had thought of her as his mom and freaks out. She assures him that it’ll be okay. Before she runs off to the Swamp, she legally adopts him, making him a Beifong. He opens more metalbending academies but runs the one in Gaoling because of familial pride. He encourages Lin to take up pro-bending, and becomes a coach when the mixed bending circuit opens. Rohan is OBSESSED with mixed bending matches.

Ultimately, Thuy gets to relax in a way Avatars had been unable to for many cycles. The Water Tribe navy keeps the coastal city-kingdoms in the Earth Kingdom in check, while also reinforcing the United Republic. With the Swamp Tribe literally in the Earth Kingdom, the city-kingdoms become more firmly established and the Earth King becomes the Earth Emperor, but has to manage all of the city-kingdoms and it’s just a lot you guys he is so tired. The Fire Nation goes through an artistic renaissance under Zuko’s rule and the former colonies turn into industrial powerhouses. They are an economic force unto themselves and protect the Fire Nation from Earth Kingdom advances.

With the world in relative harmony, Thuy travels often, since her friends and family have settled all over the world. Mister Whiskers grows to ENORMOUS size and they put him in a wagon when they go around. He does not eat people (anymore) but the wagon still warns others not to get too close.

Zula is always there, with her RBF and scary fast bending. Thuy is still prone to gleeful outbursts and Zula smiles lovingly. They like to read together and will fall asleep resting on Mister Whiskers as they all bask in the same sunny spot.

Aw crap, they are together.

#fanfic meta #avatar thuy #long post

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spidergwenistrans · 5 years ago

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So TERFs like to say that trans women were socialised as men, an especially powerful attack against those of us who transition later in life. And the idea seems to hold water to a lot of folks who haven’t had to think critically about it, and it probably holds more water the later in life that the trans woman/women in question came out.

I’m not going to try and say that none of us have ever benefited from male privilege, there’s no denying it plays a role, especially if you look at this with an intersectional lens. I certainly have benefited from it for parts of my life, I lost it for a little bit when I had long hair in 2009 and passed more often as a girl than as a boy (and somehow still didn’t figure out I wasn’t a boy).

The thing is, and I realised this on a much more personal level since starting to figure stuff out about myself, if you’re living life presenting as, being read as, and generally existing as, a gender that you aren’t, you’re being traumatised a little every time gender is relevant, which is a lot, if not always.

Most of my friends ave always been girls/women, and I’ve only had a few close friends who were boys/men. Kindergarten on up, it’s always been the case, the thing is, most people seem to get kinda uncomfortable with boys and girls being close friends, so it gets discouraged, I don’t remember well enough to say why, or how or when, but I know or sure I really only ever had playdates with boys as a small child. It’s equally possible that this pressure was applied by my peers, if you hang out “too much” with girls, and everyone thinks you’re a boy, you’re gonna get shamed one way or another; for being too girly, for having a girlfriend, for being gay, whatever it is kids can come up with (you know, whatever their older siblings, parents, and media have taught them). Of course, I was a small child in the 90s, which was not a great time to be queer, so there’s that too.

Being forced/encouraged not to hang out with girls definitely played a role in my internal closeting and maintaining of the closet for years, even though by grade 7 I started to have friends who were girls again, friends whose houses I even went over to. But I was still being perceived as a boy, so I still ha certain gendered expectations placed on me, and I did far too good of a job internalising the ones I could tolerate. I tried so hard to embody the parts of masculinity that I could tolerate, and that seemed mostly positive to me, but they never really quite fit.

Even while so far in the closet I was almost in the next room, when I first started seeing my ex, my approach to flirting with her and wooing her honestly mostly resembled a stereotypical 1950s housewife taking care of her husband. I cooked her dinners, made sure to dress nice for her, all that jazz. In hindsight, that’s fucking hilarious, but at the time I did not really examine it and just went with it because it felt natural.

Besides all of the long-term build up of emotional trauma that comes from trying to live as an incorrect gender, there’s one piece to it that just fundamentally screws with your self perception. At whatever point you first try to express your gender identity, if someone shuts it down and tells you you’re wrong, or even if you don’t express it, but you know it and you’re told implicitly that you’re wrong, it can instill this sort of self-doubt. Now there are as many trans experiences as there are trans people, so this will be about me, and how I perceive things, in hindsight, because I could never have discussed this without learning the language I now have.

When I was 3 or 4, I remember playing, and telling my mum I was her daughter, she (so she thought) corrected me, believing it to be a misunderstanding of language (as an editor/translator, she’s going to see the world through that lens, also, it was 1997/1998). I also used to pretend to be the mother of all my stuffies, a game/fantasy that included mimicking any mothering behaviours I’d ever seen, including incubating them like eggs in a nest, and stuffing them under my shirt to be able to birth them. This did not happen without getting commented on, but I’d already picked up that I should probably keep quiet about the mothering bit.

Sidenote: this ^ is one of those forbidden memories that gets locked away, I forgot all of this until after I realised I’m trans, and only just now remembered the mothering bit, I only remembered the stuffing in the shirt bit when I started typing this today.

All of that about the stuffies and calling myself a daughter is to say, the things that a 3/4 year old me knew to be true, or wanted to be true, were treated as mistakes and misunderstandings by society, I’m pretty confident to say there were some consequences to that, likely in part impacts to my confidence about any other self knowledge.

In high school, I was made fun of for being gay, for being fat, for being girly (even before the long hair), and a cruel play on my deadname wrt penis size (joke will be on them as soon as I can get bottom surgery). Clearly I did not pass myself off effectively as a straight boy, and I think that’s a pretty common experience for a lot of trans femmes. For lack of a better word, apparently I’ve always had “Gay Vibes” and lots of people came out to me in high school, and lots of others assumed I was gay, there was some overlap there too. Of course, it turns out I am a huge queer, but just exactly not the way anyone expected?

Most of this post is talking about younger life, because this is where things were closer to the surface for me, I buried my transness pretty effectively early on. For those that don’t, their trauma is going to be different, and from what I’ve heard, much more immediately painful. Being read as male today hurts, but all of the previous years of it? they don’t hurt me that much in any direct sort of way, only cumulatively in what they denied me.

If you’d like to read a story about a trans woman who did know from a young age, but didn’t transition until much later in life than I did, you should check out Love Lives Here by Amanda Jetté Knox. Amanda writes about her daughter’s transition, then her wife’s and the story is incredibly beautiful, and made me cry most of the day I listened to it.

#mine #personal #paislee talks about trans stuff #paislee reads #book recommendations

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asylumforme2 · 5 years ago

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rotationalsymmetry · 3 years ago

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For people who don’t know:

Healthy behavior is relative. Always.

Exercise is bad when you’re having an asthma attack. Sugar is good when you’ve just been injured, or when a diabetic is in a low blood sugar state, or when you have to be outside in the cold. There’s a wide variety of medical conditions that mean you should not be eating certain “healthy” foods, not even counting food allergies. Consuming less salt is good for people with high blood pressure (relatively common) and consuming more salt is good for people with low blood pressure (less common, but it happens) and people who sweat a lot (eg working outside in hot, dry climates, or just sweating a lot due to some quirk of biology) need more salt than people who don’t.

As far as I know trans fats are always bad, but we haven’t had trans fats that long so who knows.

Lying in bed all day is often actively good if you’re sick.

Quitting cigarettes can be bad, if your life is such that the harm from the withdrawal symptoms would be worse than the harm from the tobacco.

“Healthy” has never meant literally healthy for everyone under all circumstances. At best, it’s a generalization meant to apply to the average person, with the assumption that if you’ve got something weird going on and need to avoid getting too much vitamin K or whatever your doctor will let you know, so you can do that. And there are things that are generally going to be good advice for the average person, and it makes sense to share and promote what will make the average person healthier.

it’s just really, really important to keep in mind a few things about how health works. What’s good for the goose may not be good for the gander. Some health things can’t be fixed by doing “healthy” things. Being maximally healthy is neither a moral obligation nor always possible. Disabled people exist, chronically ill people exist, and disability isn’t a state of not doing enough of the virtuous healthy behaviors.

Nor is health proof of having done more virtuous healthy behaviors.

And, moreover, “healthy behaviors” tm and actually healthy behaviors, population wise, aren’t entirely the same thing. If you want to avoid pregnancy and STI’s, socially approved behaviors like using condoms and abstinence are effective, and socially not approved behaviors like doing kink things that don’t involve genital sex are just as effective. (And sticking to gay sex has something to recommend itself as a way to not get pregnant/get anyone pregnant, and you’ll never hear anyone recommend that in a sex ed class.) (some complications there with trans people who like to use their original plumbing, naturally.) If you want to not have a heart attack, get enough rest and social experiences and don’t overdo it at a stressful job — and sure, also watch your cholesterol, but one of these gets talked about more than the others.

If you don’t want your weight to creep up in the long run, don’t diet. People who diet end up weighing more in the long run, independent of the weight they were at when they started their first diet. (Although there’s no guarantee that anything will do will keep you from gaining weigh, even not dieting.)

If you want good health in general, get enough sleep — this one does get talked about, but generally in terms of cutting leisure activities/social time to have more time to sleep, not in terms of doing less work. But from a health perspective, more leisure time is healthier than more work time.

People will talk about how being married contributes to longetivity, but that can be a looking under the streetlight issue, as far as I know nobody’s studied the effect of found family, being part of an elaborate polycule or tight knit swinging community, or anything else that’s socially non-normative in modern Western society.

If you want to be healthy, try to not be poor or otherwise marginalized. Good luck with that.

Basically: there is a widespread tendency to associate being fat with being unhealthy (well, I mean there is a correlation there once you get above the “overweight” category, but correlation is neither causation nor the identity function) (of course there is to some degree a causal relationship between health and weight: unhealthy people are more likely to become especially fat, or especially thin) and a tendency to attribute 100% of both to personal choices that are assigned moral value. and it is such, such bullshit.

poor health is mostly about luck and time (we all die in the end), with genetics and social factors also playing significant roles, and while personal choices are a factor they‘re not so significant that it makes any sort of sense to blame poor health on the sick person. Even if the sick person is also fat, which seems to be when people most want to do that.

I shouldn’t have to explain this I swear to fuck.

#Healthism #Ableism #fatphobia

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colorguardian10 · 6 years ago

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So, this is probably an unpopular opinion of mine, but I think that assigned gender really matters when conceptualizing nonbinary characters.

And what I mean by that is that, afab nonbinary people and amab nonbinary people don’t necessarily have the same experiences. That sounds... reasonable, but further I also think we can’t keep pretending trans binary people are exactly the same as their cis counterparts for more or less the same reason.

Before this starts sounding like classic TERF stuff, what I mean by that is, a trans man and a cis man are the same gender. They are both men. But a cis man was granted his gender by default. When he is misgendered, if he is ever misgendered, it is implicitly clear that it is the other person’s mistake. And most trans men were raised as women for part of their lives, every single person in his life insisting on a specific lie about him. That’s just ... not something a cis man experiences.

As an amab person, the pressures I’ve been subject to are not always the same pressures that are imposed upon afab nonbinary people. When I think of people misgendering me, I don’t think “ugh, I wish they would stop thinking I’m one or the other, everything isn’t binary!!” - a very neutral thought. For me, it’s “ugh I wish everyone would stop assuming I’m a man. But even if I pushed too hard against that, most people would still deep down think I’m a man, and most others would just swing right around and think I’m a trans woman, which is at least refreshing but still not correct”. People don’t assume I’m a woman. It just doesn’t happen. My physical features are socialized as masculine, and any reasonable amount of effort isn’t going to magically change that. I’m not pressured to present as either a man or a woman, I’m pressured to present as a man. My misgendering is very, very one-sided.

I’m poring through a list of trans-themed books right now, and someone mentioned exactly the thing that bugged me the most about Symptoms of Being Human. We literally don’t learn Riley’s assigned gender until like the last chapter. And I get why the author chose to do that! Drawing attention to their sex feels like gendering them. However, awkwardly dodging around it and making them perfectly androgynous for a book that is literally about being trans just makes them feel unreal. Their whole experience is “I’m neutral and people keep trying to make me move to one side”. On the flip side, Freakboy has an amab main character, Brendan, who struggles with realizing he’s genderfluid. He has a girlfriend, and he’s on the wrestling team, and Brendan thinks that these things conflict with his feelings and that he may lose them. He also knows that he’s not a trans woman, so what exactly is he feeling? Brendan feels like an actual person with a personality and an established life, and binary pressures affecting him.

This gets harder to understand with fantasy cultures where nonbinary people are just part of society and not a fringe debate topic. Where saying someone “should” be a certain gender makes no goddamn sense, and the shape of someone’s genitals is between them, their doctor, and any sexual partners they may have - even if you could make an educated guess from their features. Webcomics like White Noise or Shaderunners don’t mention nonbinary characters’ sex because someone’s sex is just completely not a factor in their gender or how they were raised. The books Mask of Shadows and Ruin of Stars also go a long time without mentioning Sal’s sex, because they don’t encounter someone who cares what it is until the second book. That’s fine. In fact, it’s more than fine. Envisioning a culture where sex and gender are irrelevant is just short of a power fantasy for nonbinary people, and probably many binary trans people.

But in real life, pressures trans people face are very grounded in their assigned gender. Your sex is usually visible (and/or audible) without significant medical intervention, and people pressure you based upon the specific gender you “should” have, not just for defying gender norms in a vacuum. Regarding specifically nonbinary people’s experience, the number of people who fully support binary trans people but firmly believe gender to be a binary is very, very small. The troubles and joys a nonbinary character would have faced would be specifically due to being nonbinary, but mostly grounded in the norms they were/are expected to follow.

I’m getting tired of thinking about this, but basically if you write a nonbinary character who is supposed to be representation in a society remotely representing our own, please just give them an assigned gender. Flip a coin, I don’t care. It really does affect their life experience and makes them feel more real, even if they are the exact same gender as if they were assigned the other one.

I just realized that some of the language around biological sex might be misinterpreted, so quick extension under the cut:

Your sex does not determine your gender, and you can’t always tell someone’s sex from looking at them. Also, intersex people exist. There, that’s out of the way. What I mean by “you can usually guess someone’s sex” is “statistically speaking, the vast majority of people with facial hair, a flat chest, narrow hips, and large fat deposits on their stomach also have an external penis and testicles, their main sex hormone is testosterone, they have XY chromosomes, and they fit other factors of the arbitrary definition of ��male’. We’ve been trained to assess this for every person we meet since childhood, not that those things are actually each other’s business but whatever. It is possible, but unlikely, to be wrong in any part of those assessments, which is how guessing things works”. That’s it!! Diversity in biology is a fact, but so are general trends.

#nonbinary #writing #mine #oh btw this is super okay to reblog!

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furiouspandacollective · 2 years ago

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Could Low Carb Eating Help You Loosing Weight

There are an increasing number of people who take on the process of low carb eating believing that it will help them for their weight loss. However , there is still an existing and hottest question when dealing with low carb eating, and that is if low carb eating a healthy way of life. So what then is the answer? Find out here. Speaking of the low carb eating, it is a common consideration that it is not important to count calories in the low carb eating lifestyle. As such, you have the freedom to eat as much as you want and whenever you want. But despite this truth behind the low carb eating lifestyle, many experts have noted this is never a healthy way of life.

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Many people are indeed metabolically resistant. So in instances like this, the proper way of reducing food intake may aid the dieters to motivate or sustain the consistent weight loss that they wish. Still, when talking about low carb eating, it is the carbohydrates that must be kept low, not the calories. T o further support the view, it is a given fact that in low carb eating lifestyle, you are definitely been eating fats and oils. As such, you rarely ever be hungry for in general, those foods that are high in fat are ever satisfying. A high fat eating coupled with a low carb eating supplements will tell your body that it is not starving just like the case of fasting, but rather your metabolism in this stage maintains a normal level. So while consuming fat is one of the prerequisites for a healthy low carb eating, it is then necessary to limit the consumption of trans-fats like margarine. Instead of that, it is recommended that you use real butter , for it is a good fat. And for your interest, good fats are found in olive oil, flax seed oil, canola oil, and oils that are greatly found in nuts. So then, is low carb eating healthy? Well, on a low carb eating, you can definitely lose weight constantly and it can reduce your insulin levels, lower cholesterol, lower blood pressure, and even stabilize your blood sugar , which is of course great for diabetics. And since in low carb eating, you will be taking less fruits and vegetables, it is then necessary that you take a good full-spectrum multi vitamins and fiber supplements. It is also important to consider that the main purpose of the low carb eating is to bring your body chemistry and insulin level back into balance. And so to make this, you need to take a diet that is unbalanced in the opposite direction of the way that you have been eating for the rest of your life.

Click here for "21 Free Keto Recipes"

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feministlikeme · 7 years ago

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1. Before explaining something to a woman, ask yourself if she might already understand. She may know more about it than you do.

2. Related: Never, ever try to explain feminism to a woman.

3. Trans women are women. Repeat that until you perish.

4. RESPECT PEOPLE’S PRONOUNS. It’s not hard.

5. Remember that fat women exist and aren’t all trying to get thin. Treat them with respect.

6. In fact, just never comment on a woman's body.

7. Be kind to women in customer service positions. Tip them extra. (But not in a creepy way.)

8. Trust women. When they teach you something, don't feel the need to go and check for yourself. And especially do not Google it in front of them.

9. Don’t maintain a double standard for… anything, ever.

10. CLOSE YOUR LEGS ON PUBLIC TRANSIT, OH MY GOD.

11. Trying to describe a woman positively? Say she's “talented,” “clever,” or “funny.” Not “gorgeous,” “sweet,” or “cute.”

12. Examine your language when talking about women. Get rid of “irrational,” “dramatic,” “bossy,” and “badgering” immediately.

13. Don't think to yourself, I describe men like that too. A) You probably don't. B) If you do, it's to criticize them for acting like a woman.

14. Do you love “fiery” Latina women? “Strong” Black women? “Mysterious” Asian women? Stop. Pick up a book on decolonial feminism. Read.

15. Stop calling women “feisty.” We don't need a special lady word for “has an opinion."

16. Recognize women's credibility when you introduce them. “Donna is lovely” is much less useful than “Donna knows shitloads about architecture.”

17. Think about how you describe the young women in your family. Celebrate them for being funny and smart, not for being pretty and compliant.

18. Examine the way you talk about women you’re attracted to. Fat women, old women, queer, trans, and powerful women are not your “guilty crush.”

19. Learn to praise a woman without demonizing other women. “You're not like other girls” is not a compliment. I want to be like other girls. Other girls are awesome.

20. Share writing by women. Don't paraphrase their work in your own Facebook post to show us all how smart or woke you are. I guarantee the woman said it better in the first place.

21. Buy sanitary pads and tampons and donate them to a homeless shelter. Just do it.

22. How much of what you are watching/reading/listening to was made by women? Gender balance your bookcase.

23. Feeling proud of your balanced bookcase? Are there women of color there? Trans, queer, and disabled women? Poor women? Always make sure you’re being intersectional.

24. Don't buy media that demeans women’s experiences, valorizes violence against women, or excludes them entirely from a cast. It's not enough to oppose those things. You have to actively make them unmarketable.

25. Pay attention to stories with nuanced female characters. It will be interesting, I promise.

26. If you read stories to a child, swap the genders.

27. Watch women's sport. And just call it “sports.”

28. Withdraw your support from sports clubs, institutions, and companies that protect and employ rapists and abusers.

29. Stop raving about Woody Allen. I don't care if he shits gold. Find a non-accused-abuser to fanboy over.

30. It's General Leia, not princess. The Doctor has a companion, not an assistant. It's Doctor Bartlett, not Mrs Madame First Lady.

31. Cast women in parts written for men. We know how to rule kingdoms, go to war, be, not be, and wait for Godot.

32. Pay for porn.

33. Recognize that sex work is work. Be an advocate for and ally to sex workers without speaking for them.

34. Share political hot takes from women as well as men. They might not be as widely accessible, so look for them.

35. Understand that it was never “about ethics in journalism.”

36. Speak less in meetings today to make space for your women colleagues to share their thoughts. If you're leading the meeting, make sure women are being heard as much as men.

37. If a woman makes a good point, say, “That was a good point.” Don't repeat her point and take credit for it.

38. Promote women. Their leadership styles may be different than yours. That's probably a good thing.

39. Recruit women on the same salary as men. Even if they don't ask for it.

40. Open doors for women with caring responsibilities by offering flexible employment contracts.

41. If you meet a man and a woman at work, do not assume the man is the superior for literally no reason.

42. If you're wrongly assumed to be more experienced than a woman colleague, correct that person and pass the platform to the woman who knows more.

43. Make a round of tea for the office.

44. Wash it up.

45. If you find you're only interviewing men for a role, rewrite the job listing so that it’s more welcoming to women.

46. Make sure you have women on your interview panel.

47. Tell female colleagues what your salary is.

48. Make sure there's childcare at your events.

49. Don't schedule breakfast meetings during the school run.

50. If you manage a team, make sure that your employees know that you recognize period pain and cystitis as legitimate reasons for a sick day.

51. If you have a strict boss (or mom or teacher) who is a woman, she is not a “bitch.” Grow up.

52. Expect a woman to do the stuff that's in her job description. Not the other miscellaneous shit you don't know how to do yourself.

53. Refuse to speak on an all-male panel.

54. In a Q&A session, only put your hand up if you have A QUESTION. Others didn’t attend to listen to you.

55. If you have friends or family members who use slurs or discriminate against trans or non-binary people, sit them down and explain why they must stop. (This goes for cis women, too.)

56. If you have friends or family members who use slurs or discriminate against women of other races, sit them down and explain why they must stop. (This goes for white women, too.)

57. If you see women with their hands up, put yours down. This can be taken as a metaphor for a lot of things. Think about it.

58. Raising a feminist daughter means she's going to disagree with you. And probably be right. Feel proud, not threatened.

59. Teach your sons to listen to girls, give them space, believe them, and elevate them.

60. Dads, buy your daughter tampons, make her hot water bottles, wash her bras. Show her that her body isn't something to be ashamed of.

61. But dads, do not try to iron her bras. This is a mistake you will only make once.

62. Examine how domestic labor is divided in your home. Who does the cleaning, the childcare, the organizing, the meal budgeting? Sons, this goes for you, too.

63. Learn how to do domestic tasks to a high standard. “I'd only do it wrong” is a bullshit excuse.

64. Never again comment on how long it takes a woman to get ready. WE ARE TRYING TO MEET THE RIDICULOUS STANDARDS OF A SYSTEM YOU BENEFIT FROM.

65. Challenge the patriarchs in your religious group when they enable the oppression of women.

66. Challenge the patriarchs in your secular movement when they enable the oppression of women.

67. Trust women's religious choices. Don't pretend to liberate them just so you can criticise their beliefs.

68. Examine who books your trips, arranges outings, organizes Christmas, buys birthday cards. Is it a woman? IS IT?

69. And if it is actually you, a man, don't even dare get in touch with me looking for your medal.

70. Take stock of the emotional labor you expect from women. Do you turn to the women around you for emotional support and give nothing in return?

71. Remember that loving your mom/sister/girlfriend is not the same as giving up your own privilege to progress equality for women. And that gender inequality extends beyond the women in your direct social group.

72. Don’t assume that all women are attracted to men.

73. Don’t assume that a woman in public wants to talk to you just because she’s in public.

74. If a woman tells you she was raped, assaulted, or abused, don't ask her for proof. Ask how you can support her.

75. If you see a friend or colleague being inappropriate to a woman, call him out. You will survive the awkwardness, I promise.

76. Repeat after me: Always. Hold. Men. Accountable. For. Their. Actions.

77. Do not walk too close to a woman late at night. That shit can be scary.

78. If you see a woman being followed or otherwise bothered by a stranger, stick around to make sure she’s safe.

79. This should go without saying: Do not yell unsolicited “compliments” at women on the street. Or anywhere.

80. If you are a queer man, recognize that your sexuality doesn’t exclude you from potential misogyny.

81. If you are a queer man, recognize that your queer women or non-binary friends may not feel comfortable in a male-dominated space, even if it’s dominated by queer men.

82. Be happy to have women friends without needing them to want to sleep with you. The “friend zone” is not a thing. We do not owe you sex.

83. Remember that you can lack consent in situations not involving sex—such as when pursuing uninterested women or forcing a hug on a colleague.

84. Champion sex positive women but don't expect them to have sex with you.

85. Trust a woman to know her own body. If she says she won't enjoy part of your sexual repertoire, do not try to convince her otherwise.

86. Be sensitive to nonverbal cues from women, especially around sex. We’re not just being awkward for no reason. (You read “Cat Person,” didn’t you?)

87. It is not cute to try to persuade a woman to have sex with you. EVER. AT ALL. Go home.

88. Same goes for pressuring women to have sex without a condom. Go. Home. And masturbate.

89. Accidentally impregnated a women who doesn't want a kid? Abortions cost money. Pay for half of it.

90. Accidentally came inside a woman without protection? Plan B is expensive. Pay for all of it.

91. Get STD tested. Regularly. Without having to be asked.

92. Examine your opinion on abortion. Then put it in a box. Because, honestly, it's completely irrelevant.

93. Understand that disabled women are whole, sexual human beings. Listen to and respect them.

94. Understand that not all women have periods or vaginas.

95. Believe women's pain. Periods hurt. Endometriosis is real. Polycystic ovaries, vaginal pain, cystitis. These things are real. Hysteria isn’t.

96. If a woman accidentally bleeds on you, try your absolute best to just keep your shit together.

97. Lobby your elected officials to implement high quality sex education in schools.

98. Uplift young Black and Indigenous girls at every possible opportunity. No excuses.

99. Do not ever assume you know what it’s like.

100. Mainly, just listen to women. Listen to us and believe us. It’s the only place to start if you actually want all women to have a “Happy International Women’s Day.”

#feminism #sexism #misogyny #patriarchy #equality #truth #rape culture #trans #lgbtqia #girl hate

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