#just in case bc of the bright red background

[assassin-artist]

what if a cat and a deer kissed,

[the-summ0ning]

Sleep Token HC: being in a relationship with III

NSFW elements, fluffy ideas that have been ruminating in my head the past couple weeks… to the point I abandoned my main blog to create a side blog for my fav masked men

Easily having scary dog privileges w iii as your man w the slasher-esque aesthetic about him

But we all know that’s not the case

III the bf you lets you play with his rings on his hands when your anxious

Playing with his hair all. the. time! I’m talking twirling the ends, head scratchies, all of it! He hated how much it had an affect on him

He could be going on a tangent laying his head in your lap on the couch after a long day, and he’d instantly shut up melting into your touch once you started playing with his hair!

III the bf who’s love languages involved gift giving, and physical touch

would most likely buy you the most cheesiest, corniest, tourist of tourist souvenirs from each city he went to just to show you how much he thinks of you and misses you. Even if your apartment is overflowing with his little treasures and you had to invest in an a P.O. Box

Receiving ‘Daddy’s Little Meatball’ and ‘I love ___’ shirts all the time, snowglobes, and hats (you definitely got a cheesehead hat when they played in Wisconsin and a cowboy hat with feathers and a tiara when they were in Texas)

Sending you postcards with the most embarrassing, filthiest things written on them like the post men wouldn’t see it

Including but not limited to

‘Hi love, here Down Under thinking when I can I be down under you :( ”

“Visited one of the 7 wonders of the world today, you should be the 8th ;)”

“Can’t wait to show you my Big Ben again <3”

The most fashionable one of the members, every show you attend, he would try to coordinate your two outfits.

Including hairstyles… matching space buns or french braids?!? Are you kidding me?? Or even matching hair colors once in a while??

Speaking of hair, you would have to help him dye his hair, or shave his undercut late at night in the bathroom. Vice versa if you wanted the same color. Indulging on your favorite beverage or a little joint, giggling every time you would get a speck of dark/bright dye on each other. Or jokingly act like you buzzed too much hair to rile him up

He also solely has a folder on his phone dedicated to pictures (including a lot of candid off guards of just you two in your own little world backstage) taken by Adam and crew members of the two of you matching/coordinating

His phone background is of you sitting criss cross on a large equipment case looking down at him leaning against it trying to tune his bass, but his head is leaned back gazing up at you through his mask instead… both with space buns in your hair

Since your relationship couldn’t be public and be blaring obvious to most people you knew, III would get you two permanent bracelets. Yours would have a tiny ‘iii’ on it and his would have a tiny initial of your first name.

Even though he would have to profusely clean it after shows from the red body paint. It was something he was willing to do to carry this cheeky secret.

And somewhere in his favorites folder of his phone he has a picture of your tinier hand trying to wrap around his cock with the dainty chain hung displaying ‘iii’ clearly around your wrist

And ofc a pic of you two facing a mirror with his hand wrapped around your neck displaying your initial proudly on his

Which leads me into

He definitely has a size kink in all different types of aspects

Him loving the fact he was so significantly taller than you (lets face it he’s a a long fuckin string bean), and letting it be known

It always (not so) subtly came out

In his pet names for you: doll, bunny, kitten–anything small and cutesy really…even if they became so unserious or cringe

When he would just casually walk by you, and ruffling your hair calling you ‘squirt’, making you roll your eyes and scoff. (The other band members may have started to do this as well bc of III)

His adrenaline still rushing after a show, great rehearsal, or recording session barreling over to you to give you a bear hug, lifting you off the floor swinging you around profusely

you would be doing something or talking to someone, he’d catch you off guard by coming up behind you resting his chin on the top of your head, giving your shoulders a light squeeze or massage

Watching you struggle for something on a higher shelf, and waiting until you would almost give up in defeat to come up behind you making sure to press his body against the back of you as he did so to leave you flustered

Despite him being a giant, and perfect big spoon material–he wants to be lil spoon most times.

Loving your arms around his waist, feeling the soft heave of your chest pressed against his back as you slept, providing the comfort and peace he needed after a day in his busy life

He’d be in a drunken/high haze and when it would be just the two of you, he would compare his hand to yours always, smiling lazily over at you adoringly

Admire how his hand practically encapsulated the expanse of your throat when you were up against a wall or underneath him.

A small growl leaving his lips, when he tried to fit inside you loving how you squeeze him

“Fuck doll, are you gonna be able to take all of me?” He hisses, pushing your legs further apart

Or watching how’d you have to use two hands and barely fitting him into your palms when you gave him a hand job

“Baby you’re squeezing me so good.” He tries his best to not let his eyes roll to the back of his head, watching you struggle to jerk him

In conclusion, I need this man biblically.. and I got carried away and could have kept going if you guys want me to keep going I can 🤭🥹 I do plan on doing one for the others too. Reblogs, likes, and replies are always appreciated and fuels my validation

[txtmetonight]

Trapped Hearts ✆

call summary ⋆ ★ Seungmin is the best distractor in the whole world! (Real)

pairing *. * Kim Seungmin x Fem! Reader

genre⋆ ★ Fluff, A tinge of angst, Enemies to Lovers

warnings *. Claustrophobia (not really but it's the closest thing to it), language

call duration⋆ ★ 2k

a/n*. * In honor of the new skz comeback! And as I finish my hyunjin fic bc that's taking it out of me. Also, every time I go on a bike in India I have to pray that the fanfic writer curse doesn't get to me oml. On another side note, standing in a KFC in pure darkness as Chainsmokers Closer plays is an astronomical experience what the freak

taglist ⋆ ★ @kflixnet

You hate Kim Seungmin. Your friends hate Kim Seungmin. Your small kitten back that you smuggled into your dorm, hates Kim Seungmin. Everyone hates Kim Seungmin. 

Or you wish so.

Because truly, you don’t. Nor do your friends because they think he’s nice or your little kitten because she always purrs when you ‘accidently’ scroll up to his insta profile. And everyone in existence always praises him for every little thing he does.  

That’s probably what irks you the most–the amount of attention that he receives that inflates his stupid ego which makes him act like a little shit towards you.

But as you stare at the ceiling of your room while Chaewon’s soft snores rumble in the background–you can’t help but wonder about thoughts that you would categorize as the most disgusting and vile thoughts that you can ever think about.  

Thoughts about how much you actually like Kim Seungmin and his bratty attitude. And how you hold a certain fondness for the banter you both share.

And how he was so astronomically handsome that you almost swear that you saw a glowing light when you first met him, something that you would never confess.

At first, it was weird to accept your emotions for him, and the rapid flush you felt drowned your ears.  

Yet it didn’t take long for you to recognize the beating in your throat and how you just couldn’t take your eyes off of him. You threw up after that, though (but it was probably from the number of shots you took that night, just to get over your feelings).

Spoiler alert, it didn’t work and the next day you sported a major ache in your head and in your heart.  

Along with all of the traits that you secretly admire about Seungmin, he is also very dumb. You realize it now as you stand in the elevator and just from the corner, Seungmin walks out and sees you.

He even watches you rapidly click the “close door” button so he can’t get on, yet he still has the idiotic impudence to rush by and in the nick of time, stick out his hand to open the closing doors.  

You glare as he gets in. And he sticks out his tongue, successfully locking you two in. Together. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” Seungmin cheekily chuckles. He presses for the fifth floor, brushing your arm on purpose when he moves back. Your heart stops and you have to make sure that your hair isn’t tucked so he doesn’t see the red.  

“Whatever.” You mutter grumpily, stepping a bit to the left to get as far as possible away from him. With an annoying grin, he follows you too.

You usually don’t use the elevators. They’re usually enclosing and suffocating and you have that terrible fear of it falling down, leading to your presumable death.

But after a long day of walking around in black heels for a presentation for your Psychology 101 class, you opt out of using the stairs this time. 

You gained that fear of elevators after watching a bright side video on ‘survival instincts that everyone should know about'. It was safe to say, that even though you now know what to do if a moose charges toward you, you don’t have the guts to lie down in the elevator in case of a problem.  

“You look uglier than usual today.” He points at the extra makeup that you wear and you slap away his hand.  

“Shut up. You look ugly every day. Like a fucking gremlin.” You pause for a second when the lights suddenly flicker, but when you look at the screen you see that it’s still steadily going up–the elevator is a bit old so it’s slow. “Like a gremlin that doesn’t know how to shut up.”  

“I do know how to shut up. You’re just annoying.” 

“Blah blah blah. I’m Kim Seungmin and I’m such an idiot and I think that everyone is annoying because I feel like I’m above them blah, blah, blah.” You mock, laughing when he scoffs and shoots daggers into your skull.

He then opens his mouth to say something but the elevator’s lights seem to be extremely dysfunctional, turning on and off for a few continuous seconds, while the both of your just stare at the light bulbs.  

“They’re flickering because of you.” He stupidly says. And then the elevator stops. Completely, shunning you two in a void of darkness and silence–the rumbling behind the gears of the machine has stopped.

And now you’re going to pass out because whatever you envisioned to be the worst, was now coming true and to make matters worse, you’re stuck with someone that you like.  

Maybe the last part about Seungmin was actually the real worst. The true nightmare fuel.  

“What the fuck,” He strains when the emergency light suddenly turns on, shuddering a few times before you have to pray that it doesn’t go out either. 

Seungmin steals a (worried) glance towards you, who already has backed into the corner as he reaches for the blood-red phone. You both hear it ring, shrill as it echoes into the air but nothing else comes out into the receiver. 

“No one’s picking up.” You whimper, practically panicking. “Why is no one picking up?!” 

“Thank you for stating the obvious. You’re being very helpful.” He ignores your question and starts to bang on the elevator doors. It scares the shit out of you and before you know it, you’re tugging him away from the metal, clasping his hands as you tremble. 

“Stop that! You’re gonna make the situation–” 

This time the elevator drops. Just a little. But it’s enough to shaken Seungmin and you to grip onto him tight. When you both realize this, you move away from him and apologize. He just holds your gaze for a few moments before he nods and you look away at your feet. A silence follows.  

“You should yell for help.” You suggest quietly.  

“No, you do it.” 

“No, I said it first so you do it.” 

He shakes his head, “I didn’t want to be here with you in the first place, so you say it.” 

“You’re the one that came into this fuckass elevator, after!” You point at yourself, “After you saw me!” 

“Nuh-uh!” You sigh and lean back onto the balls of your feet. He looks slightly annoyed that you basically caught his intention but he compiles to your request anyway. 

“Help!” He screams. “I’m stuck on this elevator with the most annoying person ever! Ahhh help me!”  

You pinch his shoulder, which he laughs to, scrunching his nose at you. It’s kind of cute and it releases the tension in your stomach, loosening the knot.

You grin a little and join him in yelling. And all goes well as you two try to compete on who screams louder until...the elevator falls significantly, plopping down in great big chunks.  

“Holy shit!” Seungmin curses, almost knocked to his feet. 

And you’re suddenly on the floor, crouching down, with your hands covering your ears. There’s something wet on your cheeks, yet you’ve allowed yourself a world of darkness as you squeeze your eyes closed.

Seungmin seems to notice because a soft hand brushes by your hair while a gasp of deep breaths gets closer to you. You cower within yourself even more and let out a sob–you’re so embarrassed.  

“A-are you okay?” His fingers gently tread on your arm, shaking it. 

“Does it look like I’m okay?!” You refuse to look at him. 

“Yes.” He then shakes his head. “No. Sorry.” 

The elevator shakes again and you’re quivering harder, trying to draw warmth from his touch, nose sniffling.

But ultimately a thought pops out into your head and you’re forced to look at him with puffy eyes before you roll out onto the floor. That stupid bright side video was finally being some help. He looks at you surprised.  

“Kim Seungmin lay on the floor!” You cry.  

“But the floor is dirt–” 

“Just listen to me! Or you’re gonna die!” He immediately rests on the floor in a starfish position without any complaints.  The floor of the elevator is extremely small, so he’s practically lying on top of you–fully, but as you both adjust, half of your upper body is on his and his legs are spread on you.

It’s fully awkward and your heart feels like it’s about to burst from the close proximity but if it saves the both of you in the end, then you would put up with it.  

“Why are we on the floor?” He asks. He looks up for a second before he carefully turns around and wipes away your tears. You just choke even harder and he panics–starting to slowly shush you. You end up not answering his query so he continues on.

“I heard that if you’re scared, talking helps by distracting us. Let’s talk.” He waits for you to nod your head and he wipes away another tear, dragging his finger away before he points at himself.

“I'll go first. In your new story, where you’re at Jackson’s party, your lips don’t look like a prolapsed anus. They never do but just before that I saw Changbin pouting and his did so–.” 

“What the fuck, Seungmin. That’s disgusting!” 

He shrugs and tilts his head. “It was just a thought. And I said that yours don’t–it was a compliment.” 

“You suck at this.” You softly hiccup. He smiles brightly and you find that his grin is absolutely gorgeous.  

“It’s your turn now.” He reminds you. 

You think for a second on what to say. “Well–er, why do you hate me?” 

He twists his mouth “I don’t.”  

“Yeah, you do. You always make my life harder and–” 

“Well of course I do. How else do I always keep your eyes on me?” 

“What?!” You yelp. Seungmin grumbles a little but he doesn’t lose that mischievous look in his eyes. He tucks in a strand of your hair. 

“I thought that I made it obvious that I liked you–I have for ages. Maybe you are actually just dumb.”  

You’re silent–utterly speechless and you can’t stop that flurry of butterflies rippling down your stomach, the wings flapping against your throat. You don’t even think that you’re breathing. 

“You’re not joking, are you?” You lean in a little closer, a little more vulnerable than you were before as unsaid words swirl on the tip of your tongue. He seems to notice, because his warm hands cup your cheek, his thumb pawing at the skin as you nuzzle into them.  

“Why? Do you want to find out?” 

“Yeah.” You breathe. “Yeah, I do.”  

Seungmin lips taste of strawberry and it’s sweet as he kisses you. Your fingers tread over to his hair, smiling into the kiss when you lightly tug on them.

When you both pull back, he rubs his forehead against you–and you notice that you aren’t in the safety position now, so you clutch his clothes even tighter, pulling him closer to you, so he can wrap his arms around you. But now you figure that if you actually die–then you would die happy.  

“What the fuck.” You mumble, feeling all cheesy inside.  

“Yeah. What the fuck–you’re so pretty.” You lean in to kiss him once more, craving that feeling of euphoria that he gives to you. Your brain leaks out of your ears.  

You both don’t even know how much time has passed, but when you try to snuggle against his chest, the intercom of the elevator comes to life, assuring you both safety which you roll your eyes at. And finally, when the firefighters come to help you guys out and get your guys settled–you wonder ‘What now?’ 

But your lover Kim Seungmin seems to have the answers to everything. 

“You’re such a pain in the ass,” He says to you, before he steals your phone, leaving you to chase him back to his dorm. And then he turns around and hugs you tight, leaving you breathless all over again.  

Unfortunately for you two, Jeongin decides that it is the best time to come out with a bucket of fried chicken and ends up with a heart attack–purely wondering if he was wound up in a dream.  

[pablitogavii]

Hiii!!Can you do smth like Gavi and the reader went to Coldplay concert with Mikky and Frenkie,bc Gavi is a big fan of Coldplay?

Thank you🌹Love youuu🙈❣️

Sky full of Stars

Pablo was supper excited about the Coldplay concert coming to Barcelona that he kept talking about it for the whole week to his sister, friends and of course you.

He grew up listening to Coldplay with his sister and there are many beautiful memories that he has with their songs in the background. For your very first date, he took you to the edge of the town where you laid in the trunk of the car looking at the stars and listening to Coldplay...so this was a special even for him.

"Amor, should I wear blanco or azul??" he asked you checking himself out in the mirror while you smiled at his indecisiveness when he looked so handsome no matter what color he chose to wear. But you decided to be helpful so you replied "Tu estas tan guapo cuando te pones blanco.." and he smiled immediately choosing that outfit and leaving to change.

"Así? Dios! Did you change??" Pablo said when he saw that you wore a white top and some shorts in order to match with him which looked so perfect contrasted with the bright red lipstick he loved to see on your lips.

"Mhm..wanted to match with my amorcito" you waled up to him snaking your arms around Pablo's neck while his were on your waist pulling you close and kissing your lips (ofc getting some lipstick on his that you needed to clean afterwards hehe).

Groupchat:

frankiee: ready??

pablo: sí!

aurora: i'm sure pablo is ecstatic!! see ya there!

y/n: he is rora hehe

pablo: shut up hermana!

mikky: we're picking you guys up in five <3

When Frankie and Mikky picked you up, bunch of paparazzi were snapping pictures calling the boy's names which usually annoyed Pablo but nothing could ruin this night for him.

"You guys look so good in matching outfits!" Mikky complimented and you smiled thanking her before laying your head on Pablo's shoulder which he welcomed with a kiss on your head.

When you arrived, there was a large crowd of people laughing, chatting to one another, laughing some more and just spreading positive energy.

"We are going to get you ladies a drink..wait here so we don't lose you" Frankie said kissing Mikky while Pablo still kept a tight hold on your hand unsure if he should leave you alone in the crowds in case you end up getting lost. He was always way too careful when it came to your safety.

"Don't worry, amorcito..I'll wait for you right here" you reassure Pablo going on your tip toes before pecking his lips making him smile and nod his head before leaving wit Frankie towards the bar.

Meanwhile Aurora and Javi joined the two of you giving you hugs before Aurora asked Javi to take a photo of the three of you which he gladly obliged.

aurorapaezg

Coldplay con mia hermanita @y.n.bebe y amiga especial @mikkykiemeneyl! Oh and the boys @javi_begines @pablogavi @frankiedejong

Liked by 100K

Comments:

gavifansss: y/n is so beautiful!!

javi_begines: photo credits??? liked by aurorapaezg

y/n.bebe: best photographer!!

mikkykiemeney: YES! thank you Javi!!

aurorafans: beautiful!

gavigirl: not aurora calling y/n her hermanita OMGGG!

pablogavi: gee we feel special lololol

y.n.bebe: you are special <3

pablogavi: babyyyyy<33

gaviiigaviii: aweee she so cute!!

fanssbarcawags: power couples at the concert!!

mikkykiemeney: me obsessing with y/n's outfit!!!

y.n.bebe: luv you bonita!

frankiedejong: let's have fun!!

"You look so good hermanita! My hermano is a lucky cabrón!" Aurora said and you laughed before hearing "yeah he is!" behind you as Pablo's arms snaked your your waist from behind and he kissed the side of your neck before giving you the promised drink.

"Gracias amor.." you say sweetly blushing a little that he was very touchy in public which isn't often but you weren't complaining.

When the music started, everyone sang and danced taking a few videos for memory before putting phones away to enjoy the moment fully.

Then they started singing "Sky full of Stars" making Pablo immediately look down at you rested in his arms the same moment you looked up at him with a smile remembering that night of your first date.

"Dance with me linda?" he said and you blushed nodding your head while snaking your arms around his neck while he pulled you in closer and you started to slow dance like nobody else existed..like you were the only two people on Earth.

"Que preciosos!" Aurora whispered to everyone and they all smiled at how i love you two looked at each other enjoying your special moment.

Mikky took her phone and took a video of you and a few pictures to send to you knowing you would want to remember this moment in te future.

"I love you..did you know that??" Pablo said with a big smile and you smile nodding your head before kissing his lips softly.

"I know that..and I love you too Pablito!" you smile resting your forehead against his as the song ended and everyone cheered.

"Que romantico!" Aurora teased her brother taking off his cap and putting on your head before leaving with Javi to grab another drink while you blushed looking at Pablo whose eyes were sparkling looking at you.

"Check you phone" Mikky winked before she left with Frankie and you did smiling wide at the video and pictures they took of the two of you dancing.

y.n.bebe and pablogavi

Coldplay Concert

Cause you're the sky full of stars <3 @pablogavi @coldplay

Liked by 200K

Comments:

pablogavi: mi princesa preciosa

y.n.bebe: te amo<3

aurorapaezg: mi hermano y su princesa!!!

paezfamforevaa: this is so adorable!! aurora ships them too!

mikkykiemeney: me catching this moment like a pro!!

y.n.bebe: graciasss mikky! besitooosss <3333

barcawagssfav: love her smile!!

gavigavi: most adorable couple!!

gaviraispreciousboy: idk if i'm jealous, or happy, or both AWWW

pablitogavifan: the reason fans don't hate on this girl is because she is real and honest! others only used situations to get fame and you can tell this girl truly loved pablo! Always support love! <3

liked by pablogavi

When you came home, you were both ecstatic of the feeling from the whole night laying in bed together cuddling up and watching the video of you dancing on repeat..it looked like it was from some fictional show.

"We need Coldplay to play on our wedding.." Pablo said and you blushed looking up and and putting your phone away.

"Our wedding?" you said shyly and he nodded kissing your lips before pulling you closer wishing you sweet dreams while your heart was pounding hard against your chest after hearing those words..your and Pablo's wedding.

Hope you like it! Did Pablo go the concert??

[kvtnisseverdeen]

bringing back old editing styles: picspams (no textures needed!)

hi everyone!

so i previously posted this picspam tutorial which was more ~texture~ heavy but if you’re looking to make a picspam that really just focuses on the colors and is simple, then keep reading! :)

example:

first screencap tutorial: changing the screencap to a color you want that is different from the original lighting

step 1: put a base coloring on your screencap

in this case i added a brightness layer and also a photo filter layer set to the cooling filter so that the screencap has no yellow lighting and more cool lighting

step 2: color the background in using the brush tool 

in this case i also changed the color of her eyes) + set it to soft light (you can adjust opacity as needed but i usually leave it at 100%)

step 3: add another layer and use the brush tool to make a light leak + set it to screen

the brush layer should look like this, you can save this if you want and change the hue to whatever color you need!!

the results should look like this:

step 4: adjust the layer with brightness, vibrance, etc to your liking

pro-tip: use gradient map and have it be black to the color of your choice. so for me, i made it black to purple + set it to screen and adjusted the opacity 

final product:

now this looks different from the picspam above bc i forgot to save my psd (stupid of me, i know lol) but i hope this helped! also i use topaz labs for sharpening and that's it!

alright next..coloring a picspam that already has the color you want!

step 1: add a base coloring + selective color

add your basics like brightness, vibrance, curves etc. AND selective coloring! for the selective coloring, increase the yellows to +100 and for this, i increased the cyan of the reds but you should just play around with the selective coloring to your liking

step 2: add brush layers

using the bush tool, i used light orange and dark burgundy and set the light orange one to soft light, and the dark one to screen

final product:

just add some more contrast or vibrance if needed and you’re done :D

overall, i recommend using the brush tool and setting it to soft light + screen along with using selective color to make the colors really pop out!

hope this helps and as always, my ask box is open to all and any questions <3

best,

~farah 

[baradhiblue]

regarding use of contrast in my commissions graphics, i realise i only really speak about these issues on main but they're relevant to here so!

i developed very severe visual snow syndrome as a sequela of covid. now, you may have heard of this in posts on this very site and think "isn't that just when your vision has static in it? is that even that bad?" and i will tell you! this is one of the most disabling conditions i have, right up with the autism and hEDS. we joke that this has quite literally turned me into a vampire because i am SO light sensitive that i can't look at the sky on a cloudy day because it's too white. the lowest brightness setting of my monitor is still burning bright. i can't look at white buildings or cars or cement sidewalks when it's light out. if a college resource is only available as a white background pdf i'm fucked. i get migraines and the page burned into my retina every time i do my finals for online college with their super high contrast white background web design. and it's not only light! i can't see in the dark at all!!! the static is so strong in the dark i literally see in 144p youtube video. i can't discern Anything. the only time i can see anything is in mid-values.

because of this i wear prescription red filter lenses (and get dismissed as a fashion statement a lot. people keep asking me to take them off.) that filter out the spectrum that i'm sensitive to and make it more bearable... but it's still not 100% and for example for the college pdfs and my finals i have to wear yellow driving lenses over my reds to lower the contrast and make it less harsh on me.

but yeah like. because i pretty much Only See Reasonably Well in low contrast mid-values and in pinks and yellows, that's usually what i'm going to be able to put out image wise bc. i'm sorry it's not accessible design if i can't see it either bc of my underresearched disability. low contrast is an accessibility option that is often missing from things especially if you need one that doesn't use white as is my case!!! don't neglect that. true accessibility is in diversity of options

[charlottes-jungle-pizzeria]

hey, i was just wondering how many locations/attrations in the pizzaria there are

(I'm not going to draw all of them bc of the tumblr limit on images, so I will just describe all of the sights in the pizzaria)

Main Stage: The main stage is where Charlotte, Peony, Skipper, Lucky, and Blade preform. The room is colorful, with neon lights shining down from above not to bright, but not too dim, just enough to light up the stage and the tables so the customers and staff can see where they are going.

Party Room 1: it is a room that has brown walls with a grey tiled floor that reflects the neon lights above. The tables themselves are metal with white linen cloth on them that has party hats and napkins on them, waiting to be used. In the corner of the room are posters of Charlotte, Skipper, and Peony with the words 'POP', 'PLAY', and 'COOK' at the bottom in pink and orange coloring. There is a deactivted security owlette in the corner, near a vent and a broken stool

Girls Bathroom(only because some plot relevance items are in here): it is a light green bathroom with stalls on left wall and sinks on the right wall with an air hand dryer near the door, and an fire extinguisher on the far back wall. However, there does appear to be a deactivated camera on the ground for some reason. It doesn't seem like it is any of the staff's. Maybe it is one of the costumers….

Party room 2: it is a room that has brown walls with a grey tiled floor that reflects the neon lights above. The tables themselves are metal with white linen cloth on them that has party hats and napkins on them, waiting to be used. In the corner of the room are posters of Blade, Lucky, and Obsidian with the words 'CATCH, 'FREE', and 'SLEEP' at the bottom in pink and orange coloring. There is a deactivted security owlette in the corner, near a vent and a broken stool

Boys Bathroom(only bc there are plot relevance items in here): it is a light green bathroom with stalls on left wall and sinks on the right wall with an air hand dryer near the door, and an fire extinguisher on the far back wall. However, there does appear to be a turned off phone on the ground for some reason. It doesn't seem like it is any of the staff's. Maybe it is one of the costumers….

Party Room 3: it is a room that has brown walls with a grey tiled floor that reflects the neon lights above. The tables themselves are metal with white linen cloth on them that has party hats and napkins on them, waiting to be used. In the corner of the room are posters of Fang and Diamond with the words 'GIFT' and 'ACT' at the bottom in pink and orange coloring. There is a deactivted security owlette in the corner, near a vent and a broken stool

Prize Corner: a small room with prize boxes littered around the corners and near the hole that looks like a snake den, which is where Fang resides. The shelves are filled with plushies and other prizes that kids can win, or exchange. in the corner, there is a broken doll, laying abandoned….seems like someone forgot it here

The Theater: a red room with black, reclainable seats infront of a grand brown stage with stage lights at the top, as well as a bird house area at the top of the theater for the home of the TA. There are doorways at the side that lead to the daycare, which are locked and can only be accesible via staff or the TA. the stage itself has a blue cardboard background that can be changed and the cardboard wall itself appears to be hiding something....

Bunny's Adventure: the room is filled with fake trees and bushes, with paths going throughout the room so no one gets too lost. there is a statue of Skipper in the middle, while the actual Skipper sleeps in a little den near the middle under the Skipper statue. the den itself is covered in soft fur and fluff, making it a great area for a break in case anyone needs it

[radroller]

Had to wait till i got home to continue bc i couldnt find a good reference on my phone that wasnt art someone made (and i refuse to use someone’s art without permission even if it’s just an image made to have a transparent background). ANYWHO: Boost MkII!!!!! Ive long said that i prefer Geats forms that prioritize Boost over Magum and well….this does not help Magnum’s case! He looks so awesome, the bright red armor and yellow eyes i like from regular Boost, but slapped on a spiffy new form! I particularly like the black armor pieces with red lining, extremely cool. It’s just a great suit! Probably my favorite so far alongside Glare and Gazer.

[voidspiraling]

Forgot to add something cuz I couldn’t find the pic. I can’t remember if it’s official or if it’s just a drawing that’s non canon but let’s pretend it is significant for the sake of this post.

Here we see R2 Till crying on stage, I say on stage bc of the fact that he’s wearing the mic. Presumably this breakdown is happening while he’s singing, bc of the open mouth and the fact that he’s looking ahead instead of trying to wipe his tears. And while he’s singing the background is bright red with falling stars, comets, debris whatever it is.

Looks familiar doesn’t it? As far as I know red skies have always been an IvanTill thing. So while he’s singing his Unknown (Till the End) song, proclaiming his desire to get closer to Mizi, he starts crying and thinks abt this meteor shower scene.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen adult Till cry this much either. But if anyone can bring him to tears it’s Ivan. I also remember reading somewhere that Till “could never escape the red sky” so I wonder if this IvanTill moment continuously haunts Till.

When Till is remembering the kiss scene that broke Twitter the whole thing is tinged with reds. Probably bc after the meteor shower when Till turns back he associated red with regret or pain.

This is probably a reach but since everyone’s an unreliable narrator in alien stage I’m starting to question if what we seen in Round 2 is what actually happens. Cuz when you watch Round 1 up until the end you don’t really realize how awful the situation is and you just think “oh hey it’s a sci-fi idol thing cool!” and the Sua dies. And when you watch Round 3 you go “TILL YOU IDIOT WHY DIDNT YOU LOOK AT IVAN!” and it’s only until later that you realize Till did look at Ivan. So Round 1 and Round 3 are both told by unreliable narrators so I’m thinking that Round 2 is also told by an unreliable narrator.

Is that just sweat or is that also tears? He does that sniffle thing so it could be tears. (Also how does he look so beautiful even when in severe distress? HOW!?)

Anyways my point is that Round 2 is overtly abt Till confessing his love for Mizi. But certain details don’t add up like the parts abt “no better options” with images of a young Mizi. As well as Till not looking at Mizi when she’s looking at him.

You could say that he’s too injured to notice. But usually after you confess to someone you would check their reaction right? Or at least try to. Till did turn to her when he was onstage but here he is physically closer to her, so this would actually be the perfect time to see how she feels abt him. But Till just looks ahead and then faints. He doesn’t even attempt to turn his head. It’s so unlike Ivan who kept standing even after he was shot and didn’t move away from Till until he was literally moments before death.

So what I’m saying is that while Till was singing abt his “love” for Mizi he inadvertently thought abt his love for Ivan. Hence the crying under a red sky, and Till may not have even noticed he was crying and thought it was just sweat. That’s also why after he was done singing he didn’t bother checking Mizi’s response. His love for Mizi is a performance, on stage for the aliens and for himself.

Also some of the lyrics of Till’s Round 2 song do not sound like they’re for Mizi. (It’s not just the yaoi on the brain I swear) I’ll be using the Eng translations so some things may be lost in translation but hopefully you get what I’m trying to say.

For example, “I wanna know all about you” I always thought was such a weird line when talking abt Mizi. Bc Mizi was such an open book, she never hid any parts of herself nor was she difficult to understand. She had lived a very sheltered life so she never developed any walls to protect herself. If you wanted to know all about Mizi you literally just had to look/talk to her bc at the time everything abt her could be found at the surface. (Not the case anymore but in their childhood it was like that. What secrets could she have possibly had at that time?) It would’ve made more sense to say “I want you to know all about me” considering that Mizi is unaware of Till’s feelings for her.

Another line is “How dare you think this time’s enough” it’s so… aggressive. Like he’s usually skittish and shy around Mizi. He can’t even bring himself to touch her in the Round 7 ending scene. He straight up freezes up around her. I can’t imagine Till writing like that while thinking of Mizi.

But I can imagine Till writing that for Ivan. “I wanna know all about you” because I’ve spent all this time with you and I still don’t understand you. And “How dare you think this time’s enough” bc you never understood my feelings and just assumed everything on your own. How can you think our relationship is good enough for me?

This is just my speculation (out of all the characters I understand Till the least) but the lines of the song actually feel like they’re for Ivan at some parts.

Another thing that bothered me is that Ivan is not seen in any of the Round 2 flashbacks. We only see him at the end when Till’s song is over. Till liked him enough to rate their relationship at 70% yet we don’t see anything abt baby Ivan. Especially bc based on the comics on alien stage Twitter Ivan and Till were usually seen together. I’m actually surprised he wasn’t drawn as a side character hovering over at the side while Till was watching Mizi or something.

Till was probably suppressing his thoughts abt Ivan bc he wanted to make a point that his feelings for Mizi was love. However in singing abt his love for Mizi he also accidentally sang abt his love for Ivan, causing him to cry from the pain and regret. Then when he got caged in that glass container he was so drained emotionally and physically that he just closed his eyes. He didn’t look at Mizi bc he probably didn’t actually care abt her reaction to it.

He succeeded in confessing his “love” and proving his “sincerity” I think his end goal was to convince himself that he loved Mizi not Ivan. So after he wins the round by singing abt Mizi and not Ivan he accomplishes his goal. Now he’s known as the guy who loves Mizi and not the boy who was rejected by Ivan.

Everyone has a story they tell themselves to get through life. It usually paints us as a good person who lives a decent life. Regardless of the reality we will warp things and distort things so that they fit our concept abt our life. So Till could be doing that here where he distorts his feelings to suit the palatable narrative of being in love with Mizi instead of the reality of being hopelessly entangled with Ivan.

Also I’m not done yapping yet I need to look at the meteor shower scene again. I actually missed a lot the first time.

Omg so I was obsessing over Till again ya know. As one do. And I was analyzing (obsessing) over the baby Till comic when I noticed some thingssss. (This is just my interpretations feel free to disagree)

This frame was fun to look at bc it was just Till doodling and looking cute. But the closer you look…..

Till knew that the flowers were actually cameras!!!maybe that’s why even tho Ivan ripped up the flowers in Till’s presence Till didn’t actually hate it as much. Most IvanTill scenes rarely have these flowers in them and I think after Till grows up we stop seeing the flowers altogether.

Baby is so observant 🥹

Another thing I was obsessing over was the final few frames. In this one my eyes first went to Till because he is contrasted in the picture (blue against white bg and his head being in the center of the comp) and then to Mizi bc she is the biggest element in the picture. But after looking closer you see that Mizi and Sua are both blurry. They are also further away from Till.

But here Ivan and Till are both in focus and they’re right next to each other. I think this shows how despite what Till outwardly says on his subconscious level he feels closer to Ivan. They’re equals. This is also easy to overlook because Ivan is cut off in the picture. He’s like a shadow off to the side. This could be bc Ivan always hides what he feels to everyone and to himself. Or maybe bc he always follows Till around like a shadow lol.

Another thing I wanted to add is when Till turns around. Presumably he’s looking at Mizi (could just be the viewer but lets assume it’s Mizi) but his face is flat he only looks surprised to see her. But aside from the fact that his collar is green we don’t see any other indication that he’s happy. His face isn’t flushed nor is his face expressive like it usually is. I think this is bc his love for Mizi wasn’t in a romantic sense but more in a admiration sense, and his love has cooled down.

Not to sound mean or anything but I remember reading that the reason he fell in love with her is bc of her smile. While that is a sweet notion it feels surface level especially when you compare it to Ivan’s love to Till.

Which would you prefer someone falling in love with your smile vs. someone falling in love with your strength and passion?

I also think that it’s telling that in his R2 song he admits that his feelings were “Error: No better options” Till likely knows that he doesn’t love Mizi but he feels like he should love her bc she is so kind and gentle. She gave him such nice and thoughtful gifts. Even complimented his piercings and treats him kindly even though he’s an outcast.

In his mind he should be madly in love with her. She should be his “savior.”

But inevitably his eyes drift to Ivan.

And I think it’s telling that while Till is looking at Ivan the focal point of the panel is the kids of Anakt garden walking among real trees. It shows that his love for Ivan is similar to freedom and that his love for Ivan is real. It’s like someone feeling relief at finally expressing their love after denying themselves for so long. I think Till tried to force himself to fall in love romantically with Mizi bc he felt too vulnerable around Ivan.

He likes Ivan but he thinks Ivan doesn’t like him so that’s why he tries to fall in love with someone else to get over it. He’s probably afraid of Ivan rejecting him so he projects his love onto Mizi instead. Till doesn’t actually know Mizi all that well so in a way even if she rejects him it won’t hurt that much. And he does feel happier around her and wants to talk to her more. But I think this is more of a friendship thing than a romance thing. Till also wanted to be friends with Sua too but Sua was too obsessed with Mizi to give a damn. That’s why Till feels uncomfortable around her and likely why he gave up talking to her first.

But since Till or any human for that matter were never taught how to love all he can do is try to remove his feelings for Ivan and put them on Mizi. However this isn’t rlly healthy nor does it work out.

After all…

His collar turns green when he listens to Ivan singing. Even though he was injured to the point he passed out, even though he’s bleeding profusely, even though he likely has a major headache. Ivan’s song is comforting to him.

That can only because of love right? Hell after his round even though Mizi was right next to him looking at him he was too injured to even pay her any attention. But here he managed to open his eyes bc it was Ivan singing.

They’re love was always mutual Till was just to shy abt it and tried to run away from it.

;-;

[serndestsart]

2024-01-07 Jenny holding leg in intense worry 😢

Art Timelapse

Thumbnail Timelapse

Art, plus a shadowed version & two thumbnails.(imo, I like the un-shadowed version better, but the shadowed one's starting to grow on me.🙂)

Based off a spur-of-the-moment thumbnail. In the middle of making it, I interpreted it as she’s not feeling “pain” per se (since she doesn’t have nerves); more like slight pressure that she’s cautious could burst.😔

*So sorry!🙇‍♀️Between getting ‘rona again & readjusting, I took a longer break than I intended. Guess this drawing of worry is kinda subconscious😳…Now that I've ruminated on it, it's okay🙂. This was a work-life balance lesson in managing forced breaks (like sickness).

MINI JOURNAL

This was another piece I was exhausted with. Another was the “Jenny slightly pulling back” one. While this “Jenny tending to leg” was over a week, it almost didn't feel any less concentrated with exhaustion.😔Anyways, in both cases, I didn't have too clear of an idea of what the final piece would look like (less so with this new one, as I knew I wanted to keep most of the lines red-orange & color Jenny aqua-green).

Social Media Strategy Tweak

Maybe next time, when in doubt, just keep it a sketch, with no colors or tones??? Tbh, I didnt go that route bc I didn’t want a piece that was too harsh on the eyes from being over a bright white background, but at least a softer white. …Now that I've written it out, it sounds like a dumb reason.😥

Or, was afraid that wasn’t finished enough for IG/social media? Maybe, especially since I wanted to have a red-orange pencil-sketch style in there. Maybe be a little more elaborate & have black cleaner ink lines & grey base tones (like your ‘quick traditionally-styled storyboard’ art style)?

Wait, I just remembered: could do sketches, but do that Natalie Nourigat “draw the pose 5 times” exercise.

The exception will be the Jenny Injured diptych (to still be colored but not further pushes gesture-wise (tbh, I again want to try to get done as quickly as possible)...plus, I'll just say, “something different.” 😉

Personal Preferences & Little Backburner

Imo, I like the shadow-less version. Jenny's legs contrast better with the background, and the colors are closer to what I ended up having in mind.

Yes, even the unconventional red-orange linework with cyan base colors😄. I’d actually been meaning to try that out on a piece; tbh, I just like red-orange/vermilion-colored pencil sketches.😊 I was doing another red-orange pencil, Krita sketch in October that I wanted to try that color scheme on, but the perspective needed retooling.😵‍💫

BTS

I actually had this, along with a thumbnail for a completely different piece, on the backburner. While I wanted to do the other one, I went with this more unclear-looking one. That way, I could finish it before I forgot what I had in mind.

After I was well into the finalized sketch, I found a 2nd, more pushed-gesture version of one of  the thumbnails. That’s when I decided to try not to spend too much time on this piece; I wanted to re-do it with this pushed gesture.

Also, after a while of using one of my go-to Krita watercolor brushes from last time (WaterC Flat Decay TIlt), I got really mentally exhausted. Played around with doing the painting stage in Adobe Fresco, but despite Fresco’s watercolor brushes feeling far more comfortable, I wanted to keep this artwork quick. Therefore, I just continued the painting in Krita.

Oh, and instead of erasing the extra pencil lines, I covered most of them up with white.

Plus, that monitor profile changing fixed my colors after all!😊 I’ve gotten my solution written down somewhere. I’ll try to post it sometime.

SELF CRITIQUE

(-) Iffy depth on the navy-blue block of color

(-) Mouth kinda looks like she’s smiling???

(+) Good foreshortening on Jenny & the chair

(+) Great gesture/line-of-action into the hurt leg; decently faithful to thumbnail’s gesture. Improvement from that in “A Place of a Contemplating Robot”

Shadow-less version

(-) L hand [our POV] gets lost in the sticking-out leg

Shadow-ed version

(-) Sticking-out leg disappears into the ground

(-) L arm should have harder edges on the shadow

 (+) L hand has hard-edged shadows

(-) Bent leg’s foot also has too soft of shadows

ART SUPPLIES

Hardware: Alienware x14, Huion Inspiroy H610PRO V2 pen tablet, & IMAGE Light Pad Stand A3

Software: Krita (art & timelapse), Autodesk Sketchbook (thumbnail & its timelapse)

Brushes:

(v 1.1) Krita Redux- Pencil (AFresco) - linework & white cover-ups. Less-aliased version of my custom brush

j) WaterC Flat Decay TIlt - hair, ”clothes”, belly button base colors, BG block, ground

(Dig.) Clean-Up Lines (Aliased) - Jenny white matte & chair base color

[jumpinjohnnyjumble]

scudworth bloody mary amv: a rope of sand

[laughing-with-god]

The Unsaid Vow (Prologue)

Synopsis- You always knew when you weren't wanted. And the way things are going in your marriage with Jungkook, a divorce is looking more and more likely. While he's getting closer to a woman at work that you're certain he's having an affair with, you're planning your escape with your four-year-old son. However, five years of marriage did not expose you to a certain side of your husband. A side of Jungkook that only gets triggered when you try to leave and break apart your perfect 'family'.

Warnings- Yandere behavior, graphic language, violence/murder, women bashing on other women, heavily implied infidelity, bad parenting, absent father, broken family vibes, very slow buildup bc Jungkook doesn't really snap until you leave him so just give him a min lol, inexperienced author writing for a four-year-old (I never wrote for a kid before pls gimme a break), also I chose my future son's name for this fic but pls feel free to name him whatever you want :)

Slow burn Yandere Husband Jungkook

Word Count; 5.4k

Unlike the vast majority of married couples, neither you nor Jungkook donned wedding rings.

Never in your five years of marriage did you regret this decision, given it was brought upon by you and your husband’s lack of funds for fancy wedding bands at the time of your rushed marriage.

Well, you were never annoyed....until tonight, that is.

The scene before you was exceptionally intimate, so much so that you felt the instinctual need to look away in respect of the two before you.

The woman was gorgeous, effortlessly attracting all the attention the small conference room had to offer. In addition to this natural charisma spurred on by her borderline enchanting looks, her short and skin-tight red dress showed off her pleasantly curvy body. Her long, silky, and jet-black hair was pulled back into an elegant ponytail that provided a simple background for her darling features. Utterly doll-like was her face; petite, creamy in complexion with bright doe eyes and berry-pink lips.

Such a beautiful woman was currently in the arms of an equally, if not more so, attractive man.

He was tall and slender, yet not at all lanky given his sturdy build that was a testament to his strict workout regime. His olive skin was complimented with occasional tattoos, a mix of faded and fresh ink that you knew like the back of your hand despite only the tats on his hand currently showing in his crisp Valentino suit. His mid-length inky black hair was down to frame his sharp face, and indeed it was a very handsome one consisting of full eyebrows, bow-like lips, a fleshy yet impish nose, and two large, yet seemingly bottomless, raven orbs.

This man had his arms encircling the middle of the mysterious woman, her expression lifting into a light-hearted giggle as she leaned forward to whisper something in his ear.

Whatever she said must’ve been amusing to the man, given his usual stoic facade briefly melted away as he allowed a small smile at her words, his pearly round teeth peeking out for a split-second appearance.

If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought that these two were lovers.

But there was only one problem with this scene.

That was your husband, Jungkook.

And that woman in his arms was not you.

As if sensing your distress and wanting to soothe your well-founded suspicion, Jungkook pulled away from the woman and ran his gaze across the room- only stopping when he spotted you. Your spouse then gestured at you, the girl following his line of sight and landing on you and your pitiful spot by the snack table. Her joyful expression briefly dropped for a blink-and-you'll-miss-it second, but she quickly plastered on another grin and nodded. The two then strode their way over to you, barely giving you enough time to steel your nerves and muster a polite purse of the lips.

Before you knew it, the woman was right in front of you with your partner at her side instead of yours. Much to your dismay, she was only more attractive up close, and you narrowly held back a grimace as she held out a hand in introduction. You took it and shook it lifelessly.

“Hello, you must be Mrs. Jeon. I’m Sana, Jungkook’s colleague.” Even her voice was pretty, musical and light to the ears.

“H-Hi, nice to meet you but please call me Y/n.” A brief and awkward pause as Sana briefly sized you up and down. “Um, Jungkook has never mentioned you….” you trailed off, side-eyeing your husband in hopes he would intervene and add context to this random goddess he’s thrust upon you.

Jungkook gracefully took his cue and explained, “Sana transferred from another branch out of the city and has only been with us for five months. I’m her case supervisor and have been taking care of her, showing her the ropes and whatnot.”

Sana didn’t even spare you a glance as she fondly looked up at your husband, coyly biting her lip and saying in a much softer tone that could've been just for his ears only, “And he’s been really good at taking care of me.”

You didn’t consider yourself a jealous stay-at-home wife who obsessed over the tiniest details between her husband and other women, but the double meaning behind her badly-whispered comment was enough to make you splutter in disbelief. However before you could even gather up the courage to ask just what the hell ‘taking care of me’ consisted of, two new faces waltzed up and joined the conversation.

“Are you all enjoying this fabulous Christmas party?” A tall, broad-shouldered but nice-looking man asked in a tone of familiar amicability.

You thankfully smiled up at him, having met him many times before.

His name was Jin, and he was the one who got Jungkook this job.

It occurred about five years ago when you first told Jungkook that you were pregnant. Being the romantic but overall good guy that Jungkook was, he insisted that you two get married so that your child could have parents who were at least husband and wife. In addition it would also lessen the judgment in your two families, which at the time was extremely appealing to you. You had agreed to marry on one condition: after running to the courthouse you two would need to move in together in a decent apartment with a room for the nursery. But getting an apartment would mean month-to-month rent, and Jungkook’s tattooing gigs weren’t stable enough to ensure that.

Jin was originally a friend of Jungkook’s older brother, but when he heard through the grapevine about the issue, he bought Jungkook a couple of suits and offered him a job at the corporation he worked at.

Now Jungkook made more than enough money to support your little family, and it was all because Jin took a chance on a college drop-out and his knocked-up girlfriend.

You opened your mouth to respond but were cut off by the unknown lady beside Jin.

“I’d say a little too much fun if anything. Sana and Jungkook, we get that you're the infamous office couple but maybe tone it down a bit, huh?” She joked while raising her brows at the close proximity between the two.

A long and tortuous silence swept the scene.

Jin glanced at you, pity swimming in his usually carefree eyes.

Not trusting your voice to say anything and desperately wanting to hide your face from the piercing eyes, you distracted yourself by taking calculated sips of watered-down eggnog.

“Daehyun...this is actually Y/n, Jungkook’s wife,” Jin told the lady in an uncomfortable voice.

You didn’t know what stung more, the fact that this stranger thought that there was more chemistry between Sana and your husband than with you, or that it was Jin who corrected this mistake and not Jungkook himself.

“O-Oh, well it’s nice to meet you.” Daehyun awkwardly said to you while avoiding direct eye contact.

You offered a tight smile, “Pleasure.”

Whatever gratitude you could’ve had for Daehyun’s clear embarrassment quickly vanished when the woman went on to continue, “I’m sorry. Jungkook never mentioned being married and he doesn’t wear a ring so I didn’t even know. I bet it must be interesting for his housewife to meet his office wife though, right?”

She laughed, not realizing that she only succeeded in putting a foot in her mouth right before stomping it all over your pesky little heart. The group didn’t seem to share your uneasiness, all three of them politely chuckling along to the lukewarm joke at your expense. Once again, you focused on your dwindling beverage to avoid the burden of speaking or even facing them directly, too scared that your miserable expression would be unanimously inspected.

“Well, we just came over to recruit you all for some karaoke!” Jin cheerfully announced, clearly trying to change the subject, “There’s a machine in the break-out room and it’s more fun to sing with a group.”

“More like you want an audience.” Jungkook wittingly teased, a handsome smirk on his face as Sana playfully scolded him with a push to the chest.

“I’ll take your jabs now Kookie because I know they stem from your insecurity that I can actually upstage you in the vocals department.” Jin rebutted in good nature, even letting your husband’s old nickname slip.

Daehyun and Sana both guffawed at this declaration, exaggerated disbelief present on their faces.

“Jungkook is the best singer in the office. He’ll upstage you without even trying.” Daehyun said in a tenor of utter confidence.

“Only one way to find out!” Jin brushed the comment off, pointing to the direction of the assumed breakout room, “Karaoke anyone?”

The so-called office wife nodded enthusiastically, taking your husband’s arm and looking up at him to plead, “Can we do a duet of that one song we like?”

Jungkook, for the first time in seemingly hours, shot you with a questioning gaze.

Be married to someone for a while and you’ll learn how to decipher what they’re trying to say with just mere looks. Your husband was wordlessly inquiring if you were going to join, if he should go along with the group or if you two should break away and do something else.

The ball was finally in your court.

Not wanting to be rude but needing to get away from these people before you lost your cool, you decided on a subtle excuse.

“I need a refill, but maybe we can meet you all later?” You said, shaking your empty paper cup as if to prove your case.

“Oh, well the drinks are right behind you.” Sana condescendingly pointed out, tightening her hold on your husband and began steering him towards the exit, “We’ll save a seat for you.”

Bewildered, you watched as Jungkook obediently followed her lead with the Daehyun girl trailing behind.

He didn’t even spare you a glance.

You wanted to be angry.

You wanted to storm up to your husband, yank him out of the clutches of his colleagues and practically drag him back home under the premise that he would never speak to Sana ever again.

But instead of a righteous rage fueled by the marital vows you two took, utter exhaustion bestowed upon you and prevented any instigation on your part.

Maybe earlier in your marriage you would’ve fought for his attention, but now you simply just wanted to go home and lick your wounds with the help of a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream while self-obsessing over Sana’s outrageous attractiveness. After all, who could blame any hot-blooded man for choosing that goddess over you? What could you possibly do but lean back and accept that she was the obvious choice?

Other than her being a knockout beauty while you were merely average on your best day, she had other qualities that made her a more appealing catch. She was most likely younger than you, obviously fit, more ambitious and professionally driven than you, and presumably has no kids.

Meanwhile, you were just an old stay-at-home mom who lived off of her husband’s paychecks while he fucked his coworkers behind her oblivious back.

Before you could draw more detailed comparisons between Sana and yourself, you felt a large hand place itself on the middle of your back, successfully guiding your attention to the only person who bothered staying by your side.

Jin smiled sadly at you, sympathy shadowing his expression as he gestured with his other hand to the empty cup still in your hold. “Let’s get you some more eggnog.”

You nodded wordlessly, still speechless from the interaction, and allowed the taller man to guide you towards the snack table. Jin then took your cup and refilled it himself, providing you the opportunity to pick at the catered food in some cheap attempt at stress eating. By the time Jin came back with a full cup, you were halfway done with a sugar cookie and eyeing the meatballs next.

“Here ya go,” Jin said as he handed over the drink to you. You took it and nodded in thanks but kept your eyes glued to the food, not wanting him to see just how defeated and tired your face probably was. But, Jin wasn’t going to let the whole thing go. “Y/n….I know what you saw and heard looks really bad but trust me….nothing is going on between Sana and Jungkook.”

You snorted. “It doesn’t just look bad, Jin. It was like they were practically rubbing it in my face. Him having an affair isn’t the problem, it’s the way they’re not even bothering to keep it down. The least they could do is be discreet.”

Jin’s jaw slightly dropped, “‘Him having an affair isn’t the problem’? Y/n, do you even hear yourself? Of course that would be a problem! Do you not care about your own marriage anymore?”

And there it was.

The big question.

Did you truly even care about this marriage?

Well, let’s look at the facts.

One: The disrespect of his alleged mistress was more offensive to you than the fact that she was a mistress.

Two: Jungkook dragging you along to this office Christmas party was the first time in over a year that he bothered to take you out.

Three: You two had humble beginnings and could barely afford food, much less wedding bands when you first got married, but now he was a very wealthy man and had no excuse for not buying you or himself a ring. Unless, of course, he enjoyed acting single around other women.

Four: And on top of all this, it had to be factored in how distant he has been with overwhelming work hours that prevented any alone time with your husband. Sex with Jungkook has been off the table for almost a year now.

But did any of this really bother you until tonight? The answer was a resounding no. You were willing to take all those burdens in stride but tonight it wasn’t just about the fact that you were the unwanted wife Jungkook got sacked with, it was the fact that you were humiliated and forced to face the type of girl Jungkook should’ve been married to all along. That was all you were truly upset about.

The conclusion that you indeed didn’t care about your marriage and haven’t in some time now hit you in a sudden wave, but in no way were you shocked.

Voice shaky and brittle, you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with Jin and say the one thing you always secretly thought but never dared utter out loud. “I-I guess I always expected it to end like this. When we were younger, he was always the popular one and all the girls wanted him. We were only dating for three months when I got pregnant, and if it weren’t for our son he probably would’ve dumped me eventually and left for another girl. But, he stuck around for his kid because he’s a good father. And I’ve been nothing but a burden to him for a while now.”

Tears began to blur your vision, forcing you to quickly duck down and quietly sip at your drink so as to not embarrass yourself even more.

You heard a shuffle and suddenly Jin was holding you, using both of his lengthy arms to cage you in and rest you against his broad chest. It had been a long time since a man had held you like that, and you practically went boneless at the contact. You closed your eyes and tried to will away the incoming tears, even going so far as to solely focus on the scent of Jin’s cologne as he soothingly said, “Y/n, listen closely to what I’m about to say. You and Hugo were never a burden to Jungkook, and you two never will be. Your marriage was sudden, but it doesn’t make it less valid than any other marriage out there. Jungkook has been with you for so long, he just doesn’t realize when other women are interested in him because he’s been off the market forever. But I promise you, if I knew for even a second that he cheated, I would tell you right away.”

You didn’t say anything.

Although Jin’s words were comforting, they weren’t necessarily true. A marriage that started from a healthy courtship and true love instead of inconvenient circumstances was of course more valid than yours. And even though you were sure of Jin’s honesty and loyalty to you, Jungkook could’ve easily kept his affair secret from Jin as well.

However, you didn’t wish to concern Jin anymore. You already put him through too much awkwardness tonight and didn’t want to keep him by your side as some sort of emotional sponsor any longer than you already have. Jin always loved parties and was the life of any one he was invited to, even if it was just a lame annual office gathering. You then felt guilty for putting Jin in a situation where he would even have to console you when he should be out enjoying karaoke with the rest of his coworkers.

You promptly pulled away from Jin and wiped at your face. He released you and also took a step back, carefully studying you for any signs of further turmoil. Once sure that your face was acceptably dry, you gazed back up at him and offered a thankful smile. “Thanks Jin, I’m sorry I just dumped all of that on you. I really have to use the ladies' room though, can you point me to it?”

“It’s right by the conference room,” Jin informed, pointing out the general direction for you. You nodded and took a few steps toward it before he grasped your wrist to stop you and ask, “Do you want me to wait for you?”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll just find you and Jungkook when I’m out. Go and join the others for karaoke.”

Jin nodded but seemed unsure.

You didn’t look back to see if he actually went to follow the others, instead just advancing to the restrooms, secretly looking forward to some alone time even if it had to come from a public bathroom.

Once you entered the restroom you were relieved to find it completely empty, you weren’t sure if you could handle another run-in with Jungkook’s female colleagues. They all seemed to have a personal vendetta against you.

Instantly, you dashed to the mirror to inspect your makeup, assuming at least the mascara was ruined from your little cry. Thankfully, the damage was minimal and you were able to clean the smudges up with a damp napkin. You focused all your attention on the dreadfully small task, trying not to study your reflection too much given it would just conjure up more mental comparisons to all the other prettier women you encountered that night.

Yet the small task couldn’t last a lifetime, and you had to resort to looking at your phone in search of things to do. You weren’t emotionally ready to go out and search for your husband, so you wanted to prolong your time in the bathroom. Although it hasn’t been that long since you left the house, you decided to text the babysitter for any updates about your son.

To Emily: Hey, is everything okay with Hugo?

It only took about 40 seconds for the teenage neighbor girl to text back an answer, clearly on top of things and overly eager to provide any updates.

Emily: Yes! He ate his dinner, took his bath and we’re about to get ready for bed.

Your motherly instincts were satisfied with that response, but it didn’t do anything to subdue your desire to return back home. Your thumbs briefly hovered over the keypad, somewhat hesitant with the next text you were about to send.

To Emily: Great, thanks again for doing this. Listen, I think we might head back home sooner than we thought. Don’t worry tho, I’ll still give you the pay for the full four hours.

Before you could wait for a response from her, the sound of multiple incoming footsteps interrupted the steady silence in the restroom. Muffled female conversation could also be heard, the slight laughter and bickering amongst a group of women approaching the bathroom. Your fight or flight instinct was triggered, and to avoid any more awkward encounters you rushed to the nearest stall and shut the door- fully prepared to wait out the faceless group of female colleagues.

You heard the restroom door swish open before the women burst in, chatting and giggling with their heels clicking against the tile floor. One of the unknown females made way to the stall beside you, the others presumably hovering by the mirror if the sudden comments about their appearances were anything to go by. You quietly sighed and pulled out your phone again, ready to drown out their office politics talk.

Only for the conversation to somehow steer towards you.

“Did you see her?”

“Of course, I was very confused, to be honest.” One of them replied. “I mean….look at Jungkook and you just assume that whoever he’s with is drop-dead gorgeous, and she was just eh.”

“Yeah, she was pretty plain. What was her name again?”

“Y/n.” A third voice cut in, this one eerily familiar to you.

You glued a hand over your mouth to silence your gasp.

It was Sana.

“Did he ever mention her around you? You are the closest to him in the office Sana, and we didn’t even know he had a wife until tonight.”

“No, I didn’t know until tonight either.”

“What?! That’s insane. Literally all the time he spends with you: getting coffee, buying you lunch, driving you home after late nights, and he conveniently never mentions that he has a wife at home?”

“That’s suspicious. But I guess if I had a dog like that at home, I’d never mention her either.”

Cruel laughter from all of them.

The toilet from the stall next to you flushed, then opened as a new voice entered the discussion while she approached the sinks.

“It’s more than suspicious. He doesn’t even wear a wedding ring. And he’s so close to Sana but never mentioned that he’s married?” A pause as she washed her hands. “It’s obvious what he’s trying to do. Jungkook is trying to have an affair with Sana.”

Although this exchange was extremely hurtful to you, you felt somewhat relieved that you weren’t the only one to see what your husband was doing.

A pause hung in the air as none of the women spoke for a minute, they were willing to gossip but apparently outright declaring the obvious was a step too far for them.

Eventually, one of them chimed in with their own observation.

“Can you blame him? Sana you’re the most beautiful person in the office and you look so good next to him anyway. Much better than that cow Y/n.”

Another round of obnoxious laughter that broke your heart.

“C’mon guys. We gotta head back. Jungkook is gonna get anxious if Sana is away for too long.” Someone teased.

They all murmured in agreement, heading towards the exit as a group before one stopped them with a final question.

“Wait, Sana. If Jungkook does want to have an affair with you, what are you going to do?”

Although you couldn’t physically see Sana, you practically heard the smirk on her face as she said, “Who says we already aren’t having one?”

--

Needless to say, you ditched the Christmas party almost immediately after the bathroom incident.

You texted Jungkook a white lie about Emily struggling with Hugo, although a good father would’ve known something was up because your son had never given babysitters any trouble before. But luckily, your husband also wasn’t doing so hot in the dad department either.

You would’ve felt bad for not telling the truth if the truth wasn’t so fucking embarrassing.

“Hey, I’m gonna go home to cry like a little girl because I caught your coworkers talking shit about me. Oh, and also your little girlfriend accidentally let it slip that you’ve been fucking her this whole time. K talk to ya later!”

You grimaced at the thought of actually sending that text.

Sure it’s what that cheating bastard deserves, but you just weren’t emotionally ready for that fight yet. Especially after the night you endured, you needed some time to pick yourself up and figure out what to do next.

Divorce was the next logical step, but you were financially dependent on Jungkook. If you moved out and took Hugo with you, where would you two stay? How could you afford to be a single parent? And if Jungkook were to try to fight you for custody or the divorce in general, you would need a damn good lawyer. Unfortunately, lawyers weren’t cheap, especially one that stood a chance against Jungkook and all his wealth.

Your shoulders sagged with the imaginary weight of all these burdens.

When you entered the high-rise penthouse that you called home, you were surprised to see Emily anxiously pacing the foyer in waiting for your arrival.

“Hey, how was Hugo?” You greeted politely, already opening your clutch to pull out the agreed-upon salary.

“M-Mrs. Jeon, I swear I tried to have him in bed by eight like you said but he’s being stubborn and said he won’t go to sleep until you come back and read to him-” The teenager rushed out all at once, clearly nervous that you would scold her.

You held a hand out to stop her rambles, using your other hand to give her the money, and offered her what you hoped was a comforting smile, “It’s okay, Em. Thanks for doing this on such short notice. Why don’t you run home now and try to enjoy your Christmas Eve?”

Emily looked relieved that you weren’t mad, gratefully taking the cash before grabbing her jacket and shoes to make her exit. “Thanks so much for this Mrs. Jeon. Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas.” You farewelled while walking the young girl out, locking the door behind her.

You turned around and proceeded down a long hallway that led to the bedrooms, stopping at the door beside the master room which belonged to your four-year-old son. You opened it to peer inside, the familiar deep blue walls with painted-on sea creatures greeting you back, swiftly reminding you once more of Hugo’s obsession with the ocean.

Your son was bundled up in a twin bed so big that it practically drowned him, his small frame barely being recognizable in the large fish-printed duvet wrapped around his tiny frame, only his small and adorable face peeking out to stare right back at you.

Hugo was essentially a carbon copy of Jungkook. At first you were somewhat resentful about this, how was it possible that you carried a baby for nine months and he came out with absolutely none of your features? But after a while of watching Hugo grow up and come into his own slowly but surely, you were pacified by the conclusion that while he may look exactly like his father, his personality and heart took after you.

“Dumpling, why did Emily say you were giving her a hard time and wouldn’t go to bed?” You asked gently, sitting by his side and petting his black hair.

‘Dumpling’ was a nickname you chose for Hugo since you first found out you were pregnant with him. It stemmed from your sudden pregnancy craving to eat dumplings and nothing else, you once even going two straight weeks surviving off the food. There were many times where Jungkook had to bribe you into eating other things, playing on your guilt for not providing your baby all the nutrition he needed. But even now ‘Dumpling’ still stuck, if Hugo’s chubby cheeks were anything to go by.

“Mommy, I-I’m sorry but-” His big doe eyes looked up at you in teary guilt, “I really needed you here. It was a nece-necess-”

“Necessity, bub.” You finished for him, grinning at his attempt at a big word.

Part of you wanted to scold the boy for being difficult, but you didn’t have the heart to. Lately, Hugo has been more clingy to you than ever before. Yet it was practically impossible to punish him because Hugo has always been a good kid and you knew deep down that he didn’t act out unless there was something else going on. You suspected that it had something to do with the lack of his father’s presence that forced him to hold onto you like his life depended on it.

“Well try not to do it again, okay? Emily is a nice girl and she’s just following my orders when she tells you to go to bed.” You said, ducking down to peck the crown of his head and continue running your fingers through his hair.

Hugo nodded in understanding but ultimately stayed silent, basking in your cuddles.

All was silent for a passing moment, and while Hugo enjoyed his mother’s touch, your mind gradually returned to the turmoil that was your marriage.

A sudden epiphany struck you and bit your lip as you debated an idea.

Should you expose your son to your future plan?

The victim of any divorce has always been the children who were left behind. And the last thing you wanted to do was blindside Hugo. Perhaps you should play the hypothetical game just to see where your son’s head was at? It went without saying that Hugo was closer to you than Jungkook and you were more of a parent than your husband. But still, every kid deserved to have a say in their parents’ divorce.

“Bub, how would you feel if….it was just me and you?” You hesitantly inquired.

“What do you mean mommy?” Hugo titled his head in bewilderment and craned his neck to look back up at you.

“What if me and you went away to live together?” You clarified.

“Like a va-vayca-”

“Vacation? And no. But forever. Just me, you and no one else.” You whispered, as if Jungkook himself would storm in and catch you planning your escape with the toddler.

“Oh.” A pause as you could practically hear the mechanisms in his four-year-old brain trying to work out the logistics of what you just proposed. “Okay.”

The nonchalance in his youthful voice had you taken aback.

“It’s a really big decision, Hugo. You wouldn’t mind...not living with daddy anymore, right? You would hardly ever see him, dumpling.”

The boy shifted to lean more of his body against you, essentially resting against you with his head on your chest as he said, “But it’s like that already, mommy.”

Your heart broke.

You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him closer to you, feeling a maternal instinct to comfort and protect.

“Okay Dumpling. I need you to promise me not to tell daddy what we talked about.”

“”Kay.” Hugo yawned and closed his eyes, inhaling deep breaths of your scent and beginning the process of falling asleep. “When do we leave?”

“It’ll take some time, bub. You start school in a few months, so mommy will try to find a job while you’re there.” You told him, not bothering to try to explain the concept of a lawyer or apartment deposits on top of that. “But we can do this. It has to be a secret but you're my partner in crime.”

“Like spies?”

You chuckled, “Yeah, like spies. Promise to work with mommy in utter secrecy?”

You held up a pinky, one that Hugo grasped with his own.

“Promise.”

Author’s Note:  So....A while ago before I took my long ass hiatus, I did a poll for which yandere story I should write next.  The Unsaid Vow won but that was around the same time that shit hit the fan in my life.  Recently was scrolling through my notes on my phone and found some of the plot points for this story and I needed a lil break from QQ.  Plus I know so many ppl were hyped for this concept so....Here ya go lol.  This is kinda short but it’s just a set up, Chapter one’s plot line will start a few months after this when Hugo will start kindergarten and Y/n will actually start looking in to jobs, lawyers and apartments.  Also I’m sorry but I’m really bad at writing for kids lol, and I absolutely refuse to write that gross ass baby talk so just pretend your son is a lil genius okay? Also srry Once but I needed really pretty girls to be villians in my story so yeah, Twice girls in here aren’t likable but aren’t reflective of how i actually feel about them lol.

Big thanks to @sushireads​ once again for creating the cover art for this fic.  They literally are becoming my go-to for fic art.

And my beta readers @bigbuffjoonie and @mustardpop​! They beta’d for QQ and I came to them really early about this fic.  They were with me since the beginning and have given me advice with creative choices to just simple grammar.  They easily could’ve leaked the first draft of this too but they didn’t and kept it secret for a while.  I was really insecure about getting out of my comfort zone with this plot but they really guided me.  

[nairanorica]

yesterday was DnD day, so I finished it today! so what went on: for the background so far I've only used the magenta and yellow bc I wanted to use the red for the dragon creature. so I mixed up some of the red and magenta and veeery roughly blocked in some shadows and "outlines", referencing the photo I took of my sketch. no regard for the vines that overlap the creature, I'll deal with that later

now we build up the shapes of the dragon (or whatever it is, I honestly didn't put much thought into it) by mixing some white in there and layering it up

layer by layer (and no I totally didn't forget that hump in the background, what are you even talking about)

going relatively light, bc I want the dragon to read very light in the end - for sure you could've done this more efficiently if you planned it out better, but this process of "plopping down very dark shadows roughly and then building up the lights and midtones from there" works way better for my brain, so I'm doing it this way

at this point, the dragon was kinda giving axolotl (it was probably just the colour), so instead of making the... plumes? smooth like I had initially planned, I made them a little fuzzy looking

in this stage I mostly layer the lighter paint on top, but I also keep going back to my previous mixes and use them to blend out bigger areas or darken them back up when I went too light

now that I'm happy with the base shape, we can slowly get into the really fun parts! fun part 1: colour details! I want the dragon to have some darker pink/red details. since the quin red I'm using is a quite transparent colour on it's own, I can just layer them on there like I'd do with watercolour without worrying about completely covering up my shading

that's two layers of quin red on there, mostly just glazed on but I went in with the light pink in some spots to make it look neater or go back if I covered too much of the area

now it's time for my favourite part: coloured light to get that ~glow~ so far I've basically used the magenta as my shadow colour and the yellow as my light to get some sort of atmosphere with this very analogous colour scheme (again, the difference between the quin red and quin magenta is much more visible in person, my phone just hates the magenta and turns it red - the colour of the petals is kiiinda close, but it's a lot more cool/purple than that in person). so I mix some of the red with yellow (and a bunch of white ofc) and add a first layer of light

looks a bit odd now, but we gotta trust the process and add more yellow and white to the mix and add more highlights where the light from the background would hit. bc it was blending in with the background a bit, I added a very subtle orangey outline in some spots with watered down paint

next I wanted to add some softer pink light coming from the front, but bc it is already so flooded with light and everything's so pink already, it's very subtle this time. I like doing that with a very different colour to the main light source sometimes to make dark areas read better. and just bc I think it looks very cool lol

I'll add some very bright (almost) highlights later, but I like to do that at the very end. so now it's time for the vines in the foreground for some contrast! again I use my photo of the sketch as a guide and loosely draw them in with straight magenta. same goes for the lily pads

and now I mix some white in it to add just a little more detail and depth - not a lot, I don't want too much contrast there so it won't steal the show. it looks even more subtle in the photo, I swear you can see some different values there in person. when that's done I add some bright white details to my focal point, aka the head in this case

and it's done! I tried scanning it bc my photo skills are... not the greatest to put it lightly. the colours are still not 100% accurate, but I feel it's a little better than the photo

if you read this far: thanks a lot for reading! I hope this was at least a little interesting - if you're interested in something I didn't mention, just ask and I'll try to answer it :D

Ok so a friend asked about my acrylic process - and I thought it might be fun to kinda document this little painting here! Just as a disclaimer, my acrylic process is extremely chaotic and I have no idea what I'm doing, I just throw paint on there until it looks good.

So I hope I won't forget about taking photos down the line, first batch of photos and babbling under the cut!

So let's start with what I'm using, just bc I'm always interested in seeing what others use:

Some cheap (kinda beat up at this point) small brushes, very cheap shitty white (I like to use it to thin my paints a bit without lighting them too much), liquitex heavy body acrylics in quin red, quin magenta and cad yellow medium (only these three bc it's a three colour challenge thing) and threw in some white golden soflat to have a more opaque white (purely bc it was already sitting on my desk from something else and I'm too lazy to get up and grab a different tube)

And this is what we're working on:

Some sort of water lily dragon, which already has a coat of very watered down yellow on it. I do that for multiple reasons: for one I just like how it looks and it feels less intimidating than white paper lol. But it also helps to hide the coloured lines from the initial sketch and I feel it's easier to judge values when starting with a non-white background

I sketched this a couple of weeks ago at this point, and had kind of forgotten what my plan for colouring was. Whoops. So I mixed up some of the yellow and magenta and started blocking in some background shapes -

But wait!

That's when I remembered that I wanted the background to be light, like the light is coming from back there, behind vines and leaves and stuff. So I started building up lighter colours with more yellow and my shitty white

But I wasn't really getting anywhere, so I grabbed my other white and put down some really light areas. That's better - now I can start blocking in the general colours and shapes for the plants and water

These are all different mixes of magenta, yellow and the shitty white, with one of the frayed flat brushes. I'll add details and definition later

But this felt really dark now, so I decided I had to roughly block in all the other colours too to check if it was really that dark or just looked like it next to the bright yellow

That dark colour is a very pink magenta btw, not a dark red, my phone just hates that colour. The dragon is just red + shitty white for now and wow, you can really see how transparent that white is. I'll definitely have to use more of the good white for this if I don't want to lose my mind

And that's where we're at rn! I took a break to let everything dry properly while typing this up, so it should be ready to go now - I'll report back later :D

[padme-parker]

Mizpah // the darkling x f!reader // ch 6

summary: given some time alone to think, the pieces begin to fall into place. you go to confront the darkling be he avoids you at any given cost, until one night you go into the one room you were never granted permission to enter.

warnings: cursing, talks about violence/torture and death, alcoholism

A/N: the truth finally comes out. This is all over the place bc I was trying to rush getting it out. 5.9k+ words and 12 pages later, here we are. not proofread, will comeback later to edit.

ANA KUYA’S voice echoed in the back of your mind as you laid on your cot, calling out for Mal and Alina as they ran away from her. It was the day Grisha came to the orphanage to find out if one of their own had been whisked away into a place like this. You examined the walls, cracks running up and down them. The windows barely opened, and when they did, they let out horrible screeches. Water leaked from the bathrooms, the annoying drip a constant on your mind.

Maybe you should’ve gotten up from your bed and got tested by a Grisha. Maybe then you wouldn’t have had to stay in such a run down orphanage. The Duke was rarely here, so no one really cared about his orphanage no matter how infamous he was. But being Grisha meant leaving Mal and Alina behind, something you couldn’t do because they had become your only family. Besides, Grisha don’t get sick, therefore you weren’t a Grisha.

You could never be a Grisha.

-

AS you phased into consciousness, you could hear someone muttering something in the background. Your hands were so cold, you reached out for something- anything that could give you warmth. You tried to blink away the blurriness of your eyes, nothing seemed to work. The person rushed to your side, clutching both of your hands in one as the other stroked your cheek.

“Go back to sleep.” He said, brushing your hair back. Closing your eyes, he assumed you had fallen asleep already. He resumed his mumbling, the words slowly becoming coherent as fell back asleep.

“It’s...too...soon..”

-

THE painful pounding of your heart had subsided as the Grisha left. Mal walked into the room followed by Alina, who was sporting a new wound on her palm that Ana Kuya had scolded her for.

“Come on, get up!” Mal urged, knowing from the look on your face that the pain had already left you.

“Where are we going?” You said eagerly, scooting to the front edge of your bed to lace up your boots.

“To the meadow.” That was all you needed to hear before running out the bedroom door. Mal and Alina’s footsteps padding behind. The three of you started a mildly competitive game of tag, the other two making sure you didn’t exert yourself.

In that moment, you were who you were supposed to be. Three children lying on the field, making stupid promises to each other.

“We can’t hide forever, but we can run.”

-

THIS time when you find yourself in a field, there’s a man laying next to you. It was the same man from your dream, shoulder length hair and clean shaven face.

“Aleksander?” He lets out a hm, awaiting your question. “Where am I?”

“What do you mean, my darling?” Aleksander- General Kirigan- or whoever the hell he was turned to look at you, laying one of his arms upon your stomach. His hand keeping a firm grip on your waist. From your peripheral view you could see him studying you.

He started with your eyes, taking in their color and your long lashes. He moved from the curve of your nose until he got to your soft, plump lips. You stared at the sky, afraid of what you would see, who you would recognize if you turned to face him.

“We’re at our meadow.”

-

WHEN you finally regain consciousness, you find yourself alone in a nearly dark room. Only one lantern had been lit up. It was just before dawn, you could see the sun beginning to peek out. Someone had changed you into a nightgown, you didn’t know who it was. Perhaps it was Alina or maybe the Darkling, maybe neither. Either way, you were thankful they decided to change you out of the robe you had fainted in.

With great struggle, you propped yourself up, your elbows taking the brunt of your weight. You crawled to the foot of your bed to put on your night slippers. The rug under your bed only went so far before it hit the cold floor. You slowly made your way to the desk, sitting yourself in front of the mirror.

The magic Genya had performed on you days ago had worn out by now. How long were you out for? The dark circles under your eyes had returned, seemingly worse. Your skin, although already dull, became more dull and pale. Whatever shine you originally had was gone. Your eyes look sunken in. While your hair was frail and also lost the shine that Genya gave it.

“Saints..” You whispered to yourself as you raked a hand through your hair. You were basically a dead person walking. You considered fetching a servant to bring you Genya, but decided against it. Throwing on a robe, you silently made your way to the war room, hoping to find the Darkling there. When you entered it remained empty, along with the bed he usually slept in. You walked the halls looking for one of his oprichniki, yet they weren’t around either.

There was no use in barging into his bedroom when it seemed like he was gone. Plus you didn’t want to invade his privacy knowing that he could have you killed for going into his room without permission if someone had seen you. You spotted one of the palace guards, walking up to him as you placed your hands into the pockets of your robe.

“Excuse me, do you happen to know where the General is?” You asked, staring into the guards eyes.

“He left a week ago, accompanied by his personal guards.” Was all he said, not disclosing why he had left. A week? Had you really been unconscious for a week? This usually never happened to you, not like this.

“Do you know when he’ll be back?”

“In a couple of days.” He said, not giving you an exact day. You quickly thanked him before making your way back to your room to change for the day. The dull ache of your heart was finally leaving, allowing for you to feel more like yourself. You were able to spot the sun in the sky as you finished changing. You thought about basking in its light when your stomach growled loudly.

I suppose I should eat, you thought. It’d been nearly a week since you were able to feed yourself, your last meal being breakfast. You could remember someone feeding you periodically throughout the week, now knowing the Darkling had left, it was most likely Alina. You rang for a servant, asking to be brought breakfast when she arrived. Surveying the room, you decided that the Darkling wouldn’t mind if you did a little retouching.

You moved the table towards the window, wanting to eat in the sunlight without having the harsh winter winds freeze you. Opening the curtain allowed for more sunlight to stream through, a grunt of triumph leaving your lips as you looked at your new setup.

The squeaky wheel of the servant’s cart alerted you of her presence, rushing to open the door before she could knock. You took the tray from her hands, closing the door with your foot as you skipped towards the table, eager to get some food in your system.

The food they had given you was practically the same, sweet pea porridge, a tall glass of water, and a bowl of grapes. It wasn’t your favorite, but you ate it anyway. Savouring the familiar crunch and sweetness of the grapes. Sitting in the sun had left you feeling giddy and warm, excited for summer when you would be able to go out whenever you could and feel the sun on your skin.

It was the same warmth you felt whenever the Darkling touched you, even when you saw him in your dreams, there had always been a lingering sense of familiarness-- and affection. You saw the look in his eyes just seconds before you passed out, the shock as you said his name, the concern visible in his eyebrows. Him whispering, stay with me, please. It was all foreign to you. In fact, his behaviour was strange to you.

You’ve always heard of the Darkling being cold, menacing, someone you had to fear. There were stories of him ruthlessly slaughtering the Drüskelle, using the Cut to separate multiple heads from bodies in a matter of seconds. Yet he welcomed you into his home without a second thought. He fed you, gave you clothing and a place to sleep, even gave you a tour of the Little Palace himself. You were sure he had never given someone the treatment that he had given you, so what made you so different? What made you so special to him?

You didn’t miss the look he gave you when you first entered the war room, recognition and longing bright in his eyes. He tried to hide the emotion, but you were able to catch it before he returned to his dark and empty gaze. It would explain the memories, but only fueled your confusion and curiosity more. Had you shared a past life with him? If so, why were you back? How were you back? Getting lost in your thoughts, you didn’t hear the person knocking until they opened the door and announced themselves.

The familiar red hue of his kefta brought you comfort. You were too trusting lately, you’d only met Fedyor a week ago. Just the sight of his kefta had calmed something down in you. This palace was changing you, bringing out something from within you that never existed. Being this trusting on the fields would get you killed.

“Good morning, Fedyor. What brings you here?” You greeted him. This time you already had your boots laced up, the tray in your hands ready to be disposed of on the table by the door. “Going to escort me to combat training?”

“Actually, the General forbade you from stepping foot on training grounds again.” You let out a loud gasp as you whipped towards him. Thinking there was something wrong, Fedyor stepped forward, reaching his arms out to steady you just in case anything happened. In your anger, you slapped his hands away.

“Oh just you wait until he gets back,” You seethed, “Who does he think he is? Taking away my combat training privileges?”

“He’s the General, he can do that.” Fedyor responded, a small smile on his face.

“So what am I supposed to do then?”

“Well, you could still go to the library.” No, you didn’t want to risk running into the Apparat again. “Watch the Grisha train.” He offered a meek smile. “Walk the grounds.” Perhaps you could go on a horse ride later, but right now there was one thing on your mind.

“Is Alina training right now?” The heartrender gave you a nod, “I guess we’ll be going to her room then. She has something I want to borrow.” With the flick of your hand, the two of you were on your way.

“I’m going to ask you a question, and if you don’t want to answer then that’s okay.” Fedyor squints his eyes at you, before motioning to continue. “Has the Darkling ever taken up any lovers?” The question makes Fedyor stop in his tracks, a baffled look on his features.

“Well..I..” He struggled with his words, not knowing if he wanted to tell you. What would the General do to him if he told you? It was common knowledge that General Kirigan had been alive for a couple centuries now, he thought everyone knew of his endeavours. “The General has been around for many years, so naturally he has...had sex before.” The mention of it made Fedyor blush. “But he’s never settled down with someone. The closest I ever saw was with Alina.” This didn’t surprise you, Alina herself had told you about what had almost happened between the two.

“In the tent, when he tested her to see if she was Grisha, I saw something in his eyes. It was admiration, but there was also a defeated look in his eyes. As if he had given up on something because he found Alina. Reasonably, it could’ve been relief, since we had finally found the sun summoner.” Fedyor pauses, thinking wisely about the next words he spoke. “Alina and the General were growing close. Everyone saw the look they gave each other the night of the fete. But any public traces of their affection for each other had disappeared that night. The two are only seen interacting when he visits her for a gradual check-in.”

“And he’s never spoken of any other lovers?”

“Not consciously, no. On the very rare chance where we ride in the same carriage, sometimes when he falls asleep he’ll whisper about a woman. Moya dorogaya, he’d call her. That’s all I know.”

Moya dorogaya, my darling. It was the same name the Darkling had called you in your dream.

“May I ask you a question?” He inquired, you nodded your head, allowing him to proceed. “Where did you learn to fight like that?”

A smile so bright that could light up the room came to your face, “My friends down near the south Ravka border. A pair of siblings that taught me to fight before they defected from the First Army.” You confessed. “One of them also introduced me to my love of epic poetry.”

When Alina’s door came to view, you didn’t bother knocking as she had already left. After fetching what you needed, you quickly exited her room.

“I haven’t seen them since they left.” You rubbed the birthmark at your throat. Besides Mal and Alina, the siblings were also the closest thing you had to family. They considered you as their sister, even begging that you left with them. But you told them your place was here in Ravka, with Mal and Alina.

“I’m sure you’ll see them soon. Once Alina and the General get rid of the fold, we will have access to our docks again.” He said, trying to comfort you.

“I hope so.” The rest of the walk was filled with comfortable silence as you fiddled with the edges of the red book. As you neared your door, Fedyor stopped, telling you he would be just outside if you needed anything. Without wasting another second, you ran to the chair in front of the window.

The Istorii Sankt’ya glistened in the sunlight. Something about it had been calling out to you, urging you to read it and find out more. You flipped through all of the pages of the saints until you found the one that had been calling out to you.

Sankt Ilya in chains. Ilya Morozova. Morozova’s herd.

“One day. When the war is over and the shadow fold is gone, you will bear my name. You will become Mrs. Morozova. I swear it.”

The voice of the Darkling rang clear in your head. The memory made your heart come to a stop as you struggled to find a possible explanation for his words. The only conclusion you could inevitably come to was that you were the sole lover that Fedyor had been talking about.

As the sun began to set, you looked at the drawing once more. The stag, sea whip, and firebird all depicted. You called out for Fedyor, asking him to come into your room.

“Can you bring me dinner for two?” You politely asked.

“Sure, were you planning on eating it yourself or shall I fetch someone while I’m at it?”

“No. You and I are going to have a nice, long talk while we eat dinner.” His face paled as the words left your mouth.

“Oh...okay.” Was all he said before he scurried off to get the food. You tucked the Istorii Sankt’ya under a pile of paper in your desk to hide it. While you waited for Fedyor to return, you lit up some candles and lanterns now that the sun was going down. It was no fun eating in the dark.

Well, sometimes it was. You thought back to the orphanage. Night where you, Alina and Mal would sneak out of bed to have a piece of bread. The bread was never enough, but the excitement had always spurred the three of you on enough to make it a nightly routine until Ana Kuya eventually caught on.

When Fedyor returned, he rolled the cart over to where you had been seated. He placed a golden tray in front of you and another for himself right across from you. He also brought a big pitcher of Kvas for you to share.

Lifting the cover from your plate, you found yourself staring at some sort of meat pie with a side of root vegetable soup. Fedyor had the same meal but had pickled herrings instead of soup.

“Ugh, I don’t know how you eat that stuff.” You said with disgust. “I’m glad you guys don’t force me to eat that.” Although it was common peasant food, it never appealed to you. It was something you’d always hated.

“The kitchen staff have a strict list of foods you like and dislike.” That made your head snap up to meet his, who made the list? You had a scheming suspicion that it wasn’t Alina, leaving you with one suspect.

“Tell me, Fedyor, do you know what the General plans on using Morozova’s Stag for?” You inquired, feigning curiosity. You saw his hesitation, clearly uncertain if he could trust you. “I was, after all, one of the last trackers to spot it.” You reminded

“The stag is rumored to be an amplifier created by Morozova himself. Whoever wears it would hold the greatest power known to mankind. One that could rival the General’s.” He said, taking a bite of his meal before continuing, “He plans on giving it to Alina in order to get rid of the shadow fold. She’s strong, but not strong enough to get rid of it on her own.”

“What about you, do you believe they will be able to banish the fold together?” There had been a swirl of doubt pooling in you. The shadow fold was the one thing that had kept Grisha safe from the rest of the world. With the permafrost in the North and the mountains in the South, Ravka had practically been perfectly disconnected. Yet the Drüskelle and Shu still managed to slaughter Ravkans and Grisha alike.

“Yes, I do. It’s something very important to the General. That the sun summoner reversed what his ancestor, the Black Heretic, had created.” He explained.

“Right, we’ll then what happens after? It’s been so long since West Ravka has been able to connect to East Ravka. Who’s to say that they don’t want to create a monarchy of their own?” Fedyor paused at your words, he hadn’t thought much about what the West Ravkans wanted. He only knew how much his people longed to be free of the shadow fold.

“One step at a time.” He ensured, not sure if he believed the words he just said. He didn’t know what would happen if West Ravka decided to break off and become their own sovereign state. Whatever trade and weapons they had obtained came through the trading ports of the docks in West Ravka. Without it they’d have nothing. They would be nothing.

You finished the rest of your meal, occasionally talking about your time being stationed in the South while he talked about his Grisha adventures. When it came to an end, you helped him clean up and wished him a good night as he rolled the cart away. The pitcher of Kvas laid untouched, your fingers twitched at the thought of having a drink. You stared at it as Fedyor rolled it away, your throat begging for something to drink. Instead of giving into your urges, you chug whatever leftover water you had laying around.

As you got ready for bed, you couldn’t help the strong feeling of loneliness overcome you. You tried to push those feelings away when you jumped into bed, not wanting to have a miserable dream.

-

WHEN you wake, you find yourself in the deadly permafrost of the Fjerda-Ravka border in nothing more than your lace nightgown. The snow under your feet melted as you walked around, searching for another sign of human life. You didn’t feel the familiar nip of the cold at your fingertips or toes. It was that same warmth you felt with the Darkling.

You caught sight of your own breath as you whipped your head around, the snow catching in your hair. As you stumbled into a tree, you felt the recognizable carving, stating that you were now in Fjerdan territory. Your feet had walked on their own accord, not knowing where you were going until you stumbled into a clearing. The same clearing where Dubrov and Mikhael had died, slaughtered brutally by the Fjerdans. The clearing where you had killed two of their own without a second thought.

The clearing where you had finally found the stag.

The very same stag that had now stood in front of you.

You inched closer to it with careful and calculated steps. It didn’t back away as you approached. It showed no signs of aggression as you laid one of your hands upon its antlers, your other going to stoke its fur.

It was giving you that same look it gave you when you first encountered it with Mal.

Mercy. Respect. Most of all, understanding.

-

IT had been two days since you dreamt of the stag. You hadn’t dreamt of it since then, in fact, you hadn’t been dreaming of much since you saw the stag in your dreams. You thought about bringing it up to Alina during breakfast, but decided against it, the conversation somehow drifting towards the General.

“I was giving him a report of my progress last night-”

“Last night?” You interrupted, “As in a couple of hours ago?” She nods, confused by your behavior. “When did he get back?”

“The night you woke up.” She replied, as if you had been informed already. No one told you he had returned, you hadn’t even seen him once. Fedyor didn’t even tell you of his return during dinner. With a huff, you got out your chair, moving towards the door before asking Alina one last question.

“When did you mention me to the General?” She gives you another confused look, not knowing what you were talking about. That was the only answer you needed as you made your way to the war room.

He knew you. Even before he discovered Alina and took her to the Little Palace, he knew you first. Your thoughts ran around rampant and unprovoked, trying to come up with a viable explanation as you stomped towards his hall. Before you could even reach the doors of the war room, you were stopped by his oprichniki.

“The General wishes to be alone right now.” She said, hold up a hand to stop you.

“Tell him that I want to speak with him.” You replied, she looked you up and down. You wore no kefta or guards uniform. You were merely just a First Army soldier in her eyes.

“I doubt he would want to talk to someone like you.” Great, you were dealing with a Grisha Oprichniki with a horrible superiority complex. With a scoff, you turned away and walked to your room. Holding back every urge in your body to punch her.

-

WHEN night came, you found yourself struggling to get some sleep. After your encounter with that rude oprichniki, you tried your best to at least get a glimpse of the Darkling. You tried walking in the gardens in hopes to see him, no luck. You walked past the singular window of the war room, only to find the view obscured by the curtains. You paced the halls as subtly as you could, waiting for him to exit the war room. But he didn’t leave. Not once, so you just gave up and decided to try again the next day.

The black silk of your slip on did little to soothe the irritation you felt. In fact, it seemed to irritate you more as it slipped around even at your smallest movements. With a sigh, you got up from the bed and walked towards the dresser with the intention of changing into something that would provide better comfort.

You ran your hands through all the different laces and fabrics of the nightgowns until it landed on the gold kefta. Well, it wouldn’t hurt to try. You took it off it’s hanger, before walking towards the mirror. You examined it closely. The fabric itself had shimmers of gold, the black thread similar to any other kefta. As you surveyed the back of it, you noticed the handiwork of a fabrikator. Someone had tried to mend the rips of the kefta, but they were still visible up close.

The kefta had fit like a glove when you put it on. It gave you a sense of belonging. That maybe as an orphan you had finally found a home. You ogled at yourself in the mirror, the golden fabric had practically made you glow. You placed your hands into the pockets, surprised to feel something in one of them.

Grasping the object, you pulled it out. It was a letter. Covered in blood, dirtied and ripped at the corners, but still a letter nonetheless. You contemplated reading it, making the motion to put it back into the pocket before a thought crossed your mind. It wasn’t like anyone was going to find out.

You opened the letter and began to read it:

Dear Aleksander,

My darling, I don’t know why the universe has continued to bring us together. But I am thankful that they’ve given us a chance to be together once more. I have loved you for all of my lifetimes, and nothing could change that.

At least, that’s what I thought. But you’re no longer the Aleksander I once knew. Something dark has taken over you, your lust for power consuming you. I don’t know who you are anymore.

That’s why I’m doing what’s necessary, you’ve been in power for too long. It’s time for you to stop. It’s time for Ravka to be whole once more.

I’m sorry. I hope with whatever love you have left in your heart for me, that you could forgive me.

Eternally yours,

Y/N

You froze as you saw your name signed at the bottom of the letter. Lifetimes? As in more than one? This could wait no longer. Shoving the letter into your pocket, you threw open your door. The halls were empty, his oprichniki were either on a break or a shift change. Either way, you didn’t care.

You barged into the war room, expecting him to be hunched over a pile of maps, but he wasn’t. The next place you looked was his sleeping quarters that had connected to the war room. This bed was empty too, the sheets still cold. You knew of one last place he could be, and didn’t care about the risks.

You walked towards his door, each step filled with the burning curiosity you felt. Placing your hand on the doorknob, you didn’t expect it to turn. You would’ve assumed he kept the door to this bedroom always locked. But then again you were the only person who would dare enter his room without permission. After entering his room, you shut the door. Not wanting to raise suspicion to anyone who might’ve walked the halls perchance.

You paid no mind to the layout and decorations of his room as you fervently searched for him, only to come up empty handed again. Where could he possibly be? Perhaps he went for a midnight stroll. Or possibly he left the Little Palace again. But before deciding on going back to your room, you were adamant on searching the entire ground for him.

As you made your way back towards the door, your eyes briefly flashed to the portrait above it. You were frozen in your tracks as you did a double take. There in the painting was you, depicted in the gold kefta you had put on mere minutes ago. Behind you was the General, who had one hand clasped around your waist, the other resting on your shoulder. The two of you smiling brightly, it had practically been one of the only other times you’d seen him smile.

The letter in your pocket felt like it weighed a ton, your mouth going dry. In your panicked state of mind, you didn’t notice the shadows jumping up and down the walls.

“My darling.” You never heard him creeping up on you until he started talking into your ear, his whisper making you involuntarily shiver. You could practically feel the heat radiating off of him.

Turning around, you didn’t expect to find his hair dripping wet, with nothing but a towel wrapped around his hips. A blush formed on your cheeks as you tried to look at anything but him.

“Don’t call me that.” You spat out, he reached one of his hands out to touch the kefta you had put on. His touch lingered from the black stitching to the collar of the Grisha jacket, his fingers ghosting over your neck. “I’m going to ask you one more time, have we met before?”

The General saw no use in keeping the secret from you any longer; you had worn the kefta he’d made for you centuries ago, most likely read the letter in its pocket, and now you had just seen the portrait he’d hung up of the two of you. It was evidently clear that you knew something was going on.

“What do you remember?” He deflected, not answering your question.

Flashes came to your mind, ones you had dreamt, others were new.

“I remember...my death. The night those soldiers shoved a knife in me.” You confessed. You also saw other things. Horseback riding in the woods. Long nights in bed spent talking about the future. Him training you, teaching you how to wield a sword. The birthmark at your ribcage, the one on your neck, and the long ones on your back. They had all been scars. Marking all the deaths from your previous lives.

Three scars, three separate lifetimes with him. You reached up to touch the scar on your neck, “They..I-”

“This one, the Fjerdans gave you this one. We were hunting for the stag when we had gotten ambushed. They killed you for the sole purpose to see me in pain. I begged them to take me too, but they found too much joy in my grief. The Drüskelle held me on the ground, my hands spread apart, as I watched you bleed out.” You can see the tears form in his eyes as he recalls the events of that night. He walks around you, tracing the rips of the kefta. The rips had consequently been placed exactly where the scars on your back were. You could tell by the familiar pattern he traced, a once soothing action that now caused you great anguish. “The Fjerdans also gave you these ones. They tortured you for days on end. When I finally found you, it was too late. There was no healer that had the power to help you. All I could do was hold you as a heartrender calmed you, minimizing your pain.”

“I can’t remember that, why can’t I remember that?” You panicked, to which the Darkling turned you to face him, his hands cupping your cheeks as his thumbs rubbed your face in a reassuring manner.

“It’s not often that you fully remember what happens to you. It’s your brain's way of protecting you so you don’t get overwhelmed.” Well you certainly felt overwhelmed now. It was all too much to take in at once.

“The shadow fold..” You hesitated, removing yourself from his grasp. “Was that because of me?”

“Yes,” he confessed, “I created it after you first died. A way to protect all Grisha. I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand. But it was one less threat we had to worry about.”

“I don’t understand. Why me? Why is it always me? Why do I always come back to you?”

“There’s a reason why the universe has continued to bring us back together, my darling. My other half. My life.” He walks up to you, grasping your face in his hands. His touch was different this time, it was cold yet welcoming. It felt familiar. The shadows engulfed the room as you felt a power rush over you. His eyes darted towards your lips, hesitating before leaning in. You close your eyes as you feel that familiar warmth consume you. His kiss is soft, gentle, yet you could tell he was holding back from ravaging you.

He pulls away, resting his forehead on yours. You kept your eyes closed, lost in the memories.

“Open your eyes.” He whispered. When you had closed them, the whole room had been taken by his shadows, leaving the two of you in darkness. But as he stood in front of you, his hands on your cheeks, the whole room had been illuminated. “My sun summoner, I have loved you all of my life. For all of your lifetimes.”

“Maybe one too many.” What else was there to say? You always knew, somewhere deep down inside of you, that there was something special different about you. You didn’t know it until now, until you were reunited with your other half. “But I thought Grisha couldn’t get sick.”

The smile falls from his face, “I believe..that this could possibly be our last lifetime together.” He disclosed. “Neither heartrender nor healer could explain what was happening to you. I think it might be the consequence of avoiding eternal death for so long.” He joked, his eyes meeting yours.

“I thought your last life had been our final one together. I waited hundreds of years for your return. When I had caught wind of a sun summoner being found, I thought it was you. When it wasn’t I felt as if my heart had shattered all over again. That you would never return to me again.” The Darkling squinted as the light around you grew brighter. His touch was making you unstable.

“But Alina-”

“Can’t know. No one can. I can’t risk your life again. Not anymore.” He replied, “Especially when this could be our last time together.”

You struggled to find a name to call him, the General felt too formal, and to you it seemed too early to call him by his given name.

“Aleksander, my darling. Call me by my name.” He said, withdrawing his hand from you and letting the shadows shrink back to the ground.

All your life, you had subconsciously fought the Grisha within you. You had always been Grisha. Using the powers you had been born with had given you back your strength, albeit not all of it. You enjoyed- reveled the rush it gave you.

“Aleksander,” His name left your lips in a hushed whisper, “..what if I want the stag for myself?”

-

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Mizpah taglist is CLOSED for now!

S.a.B. forever tags: @deceivedeer​

[knights-unwelcommentary]

back on my drone karkat shit, but this time, with a twist! karkat being a drone isn’t really prominent, just in the background

karkat lives in the middle of nowhere, not too far from the sea, but far enough that seadwellers won’t decide to attack him. so he’s at the shore one day catching some fish bc mans gotta eat yknow, and who other than feferi swims up to chat (they’re both roughly 3-3 1/2 sweeps rn) and the edges of her fins haven’t started turning pink, and she only has her head poking out of the water so karkat can’t see her blood color/sign. she says hello and is all friendly and poor karkat is just so confused. they talk for a bit before they have to leave because the sun will come up soon. karkat thinks it’s just a one time thing, but then it happens again. and again. and again

and now it’s a routine, and neither knows the others blood color (karkat assumes feferi is violet and feferi assumes karkat is a lowblood) and everyone is just having a grand old time for a couple sweeps but then oh fuck! some highbloods that are probably drunk on faygo decide that this hemo-anon troll sitting by the shore should die! and it’s this whole thing, feferi comes and joins the fight and she and karkat kill the highbloods and all is well but then they both notice that they’re both injured and bleeding and it’s this whole dramatic, emotional thing, where karkat is freaking the fuck out because 1) a troll knows his blood color and 2) said troll is the ducking heiress, and feferi is frantically trying to calm him down and she does and oh fuck I guess they’re moirails now who woulda guessed

and feferi thinks that everyone knows that drones have bright red blood, until karkat says that his blood isn’t natural and he’s a mutant, and she informs him that actually no karkat you’re a drone I thought everyone knew drones have your blood color and karkat proceeds to have a mental breakdown

anyway karkat teaches feferi about lowblood culture and stuff and feferi helps karkat research about drones and what they need and this got really long so I’m just gonna stop here but how do you think this would affect their session

~ 🔥 anon

If Feferi and Karkat start the session as moirals independently of the reason, the team avoids a lot of the Eridan downward spiral cause Feferi wouldn't have revealed she never had romantic feelings for him right after losing Alternia and he wouldn't have isolated himself in his planet

Karkat would have been a lot more in control if he had a moiral and Feferi's position on the hemospectrum would have taken away some of the pressure to prove himself so he would have been a lot more effective and focused as a leader

Feferi would have had some perspective and would have been more invested in trying to smooth down casteist disagreements among the team as soon as they popped up. She might avoid dying altogether

The drone thing would add some unique problems but overall the session might have gone better, I guess? It would be one of the cases where being too good dooms the timeline

[honeypirate]

I’m glad it’s you (soulmate)

Tamaki Amakiji x fem reader

Warnings - has spoilers from season five episode 1. I don’t know if it’s accurate bc I don’t remember the episode all the way but I wanted to use that part of it

(I don’t know anything about Mirio’s parents and can’t find much on google)

Summary: Having the ability to see color since you were a toddler, you and your parents assume you just don’t have a soulmate and were spared the grey dull life without one. Tamaki, being in the same boat, thinks it’s too good to be true that his crush likes him back...

You felt lucky your whole life. Lucky to always have color when all your friends saw in grey. It was like pleasantville for them and you were blessed with color.

Sure, you’ve heard stories of people who find their soulmates as children who always had color, but your childhood friend was Mirio and he still saw in grey.

You head out of your room, your backpack bouncing along your back as you skipped down the stairs, humming a soft song stuck in your head as you make your way into the kitchen.

“Good morning Tamaki” you say softly, finding him at the table eating breakfast. “Good morning” he says down into his bowl. “How did you sleep?” You ask gently, he’s an introverted quiet guy and you always tried to make sure you weren’t doing anything that made him uncomfortable, the three years he’s known you at school he’s always appreciated that about your friendship.

He clears his throat, and you notice him shiver once “good.” He says and then surprises you by asking “You?” And looks up to your eyes for just a moment before he looked back to his breakfast.

“I slept well. Had crazy dreams though” you get your breakfast, just a pop tart, but you still want to sit with him “do you mind if I sit with you?” You ask, though the table had many chairs, all of which except his were empty.

“No” he says with a slight head shake and you smile, taking the chair one away from him. Close but not too close.

When your first pop tart was eaten, he speaks and it makes you smile “what.. uhh.. wh-what was your dream?” He asks his voice a little shaky

You swallow and smile, looking over to him as you spoke. “I was in space and you and mirio were there. We were shopping and then there were like colorful bubbles that I had to search though because one held the name of soulmate. But someone else found the bubble before I could and stole my soulmate. Then it turned out that person was a villain and we had to fight him and you and mirio died and I was alone in space. I don’t know what happened to the villain I just ended up alone.” You shrug, it wasn’t a nightmare just was strange.

You finish to it pop tart and roll up the paper towel you had so you can throw it away.

“Do - do you want to know m-my dream?” He asks and you smile, placing your elbow on the table and leaning your chin on your hand “yes. I do” you say with a small smile, making eye contact with him for just a moment, noticing his cheeks flush as he looks down again.

“I was on a mountain” he swallows hard and closes his eyes so he can speak without knowing you were looking at him. Which you weren’t, your gaze was shifted to the wall behind him, Mirio’s smiling face poking out from the wall.

“A-and you were there with me. You helped me learn how to fly” you smile warmly at him when he looks up to you. “That’s a lovely dream, Tamaki” you say “I wish I could fly with you, that would be amazing” you scoot from your chair to the one close to him and reach out “do you mind?” You ask, your hand beside his hair and he nods his head slowly once, his eyes looking into yours for the longest time he’s ever looked back at you.

Touching him wasn’t a new thing but you always asked before you did, just in case he didn’t like it.

You run your fingers through his hair and Mirio in the background cheers in silence, making your cheeks heat a little.

“Your hair is as soft as I hoped it would be. I love the color. I don’t think I’ve ever told you. this is actually my favorite color”

“Hey guys we’re gonna be late!” Nejire says as she comes into the the kitchen “no!” Mirio says and grabs his head making you and Tamaki jump and you pull back your hand. “No what?” She asks and Mirio tries to cover by laughing “just don’t want to be late!” He says awkwardly before he grabs an apple and tosses one at Nejire and pushes her outside of the dorm.

“They’re weird” you say with a laugh and get up, tossing your trash as he puts he rinses his bowl and puts it in the dishwasher. “Yeah” he says softly, his cheeks still flushed from you touching his hair.

***

“I love when we can be villains! If I didn’t have a quirk I’d want to be an actor” you say as you wait beside Tamaki in the training grounds. “I don’t like it” he says and you smile warmly “but you’re always so good at it” you say and he blushes “t-thanks” he mumbles and before you can talk anymore class 1A arrives on the scene.

“Tamaki!” You shouted from across the field, you were running as hard as you could trying to get to him when you saw Bakugou getting ready to blast him even after the training was called to an end.

You got there just as he released his grenade and you dropped to the ground, grabbing Tamaki’s hand and bracing yourself as you feel the heat burn your skin in a few places and rocks and dust hitting you as you close your eyes.

After the dust settles you pushed Bakugou off Tamaki and Kirishima drags him off

“Hey hey hey” you say softly and brush his hair from his face and dust off the rocks and “are you okay? That was completely out of line” he groans and you help him sit up “Tamaki?” You ask softly and he meets your eye “hi” you say softly and you run your fingers through his hair hoping to calm him down “hi” he says, his eyes were a little distant and you smile softly “let’s get you to Recovery Girl, okay? Is it okay if touch you and help you?” He nods and you help him to his feet, your arm wrapping around his middle as his arm wraps around your shoulder.

He was a little out of it, but not too far out of it to not have any reaction to you helping him. His hands were clammy and his heart was racing. He was thinking about how nice it is to feel your fingers through his hair. How nice you smell from your hair being so close to his nose. He wanted to bury his face in your hair and tell you how he thinks your eyes are the prettiest shade he’s ever seen. But his anxiety and nerves and the pain in his body won’t let him do that right now.

You stay with him the entire time he gets looked after, talking to mr aizawa and the principle about what happened from your point of view. After that, you were allowed to change from your hero suit and head back to the dorms.

You walked beside Tamaki back to the dorm, his bag over your shoulder no matter what he said to try and get you to let him carry it himself.

You place his bag down beside his bed and then head to the door “text me. Okay? If you need anything” you say softly and turn to meet his eyes. His eyes widen for a moment but he makes himself stay meeting your eye as he nods. “thank you” he says and you smile, making his heart race “of course, Tama”

“You should text her man” Mirio said as he pulled himself from the wall. “I don’t know” Tamaki says as he sits on his bed. “You should. She even said you could” Tamaki nods but says nothing.

“How about we all go to my parents place for dinner this weekend! Then you can have more time to talk to her without it being a big thing” Tamaki’s eyes light up for a moment “can we-?” Mirio nods “of course! My moms been telling me to bring home my friends anyway. So I’ll talk to Nejire and Y/n and it’ll be great!”

~ Skip to that weekend ~

“I love your mom! I’m so excited to see her again!” You say and hold on to Mirio’s arm. Tamaki gives Mirio a look and he laughs “mine and y/n’s moms are best friends” he says and Tamaki nods “that’s nice” he says and you can see in his eyes he means it.

“Thank you ma’am” you say as she hands you a plate and she laughs “you don’t have to be so formal” she says and you shrug with a smile

“I know but old habits” you say

Tamaki watches this whole exchange from right across from you. Watches how you smile and how bright your eyes get as you look down at your plate, waiting for everyone else to have one before you dig in to the food that’s laid out on the table.

You look up and make eye contact with him and he gasps, a pink blush dusting his cheeks but again, he uses every strength he can muster to not look away and realizes how worth it it was when you smile softly at him with closed eyes as you lightly bump your foot into his.

He’s heard about footsie before from Mirio, knows it simple and you don’t even have to really look at each other. But he can’t muster up the guts to bump your foot back. He sits there, eating quietly, speaking when absolutely necessary, and peaking at you through his hair every once in a while.

‘Just do it’ he thinks to himself ‘it’ll be fine. She started it. You can do it too. Just get some guts and do it god damn it!’

He moves his foot out, a little too quickly but he realized it too late. Feeling immediate regret and panic when his foot hits yours with too much force.

He expects you to yell at him or send him a glare but you surprise him, silencing all his doubts and fears by looking up into his eyes and smiling again. Reaching out with your foot and sliding it along the side of foot.

His cheeks flush red as he looks down to his plate, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips as you repeat the action.

This continued the rest of the meal and Tamaki felt like a blushing mess but every time he met your eye he realized that you weren’t looking at him like you thought he was a mess. Your eyes were sweet and he could see the flush on your cheeks and ears, a few patches on your neck and chest that truly showed that you were feeling similar to him.

Realizing that you were feeling similar made him feel a little more bolder and braver. Keeping eye contact with you for a little bit longer than normal and branching out to run the toe of his shoe up to your ankle and back.

You chuckle under your breath and tried to hide how warm your cheeks were.

“Y/n are you okay dear? You look a little flushed” Mirio’s mother says and you laugh awkwardly “I’m good! You know how I like spicy things!” You awkwardly laugh and hope she buys it’s from the spicy food. Tamaki loves the sound, your laugh showing that you were as awkward as he was and that brought you down from the pedestal he had you on.

He had thought you were so many levels higher than him. Thought you were confident and thought you’d only want someone as confident as you. He feels like an idiot. You’re just a human being. A sweet girl who feels as awkward as he does sometimes. And you see color just like he does so that means you’re both without a soulmate. It seemed too good to be true.

After dinner you walked back to the dorms talking and laughing with Mirio. You kept looking behind you at Tamaki and smiling, making his heart skip every time.

You finished your conversation with Mirio and Nejire and then quietly made your way to stand beside Tamaki. “Hi” you say softly and he smiles, watching the sidewalk as he walked “hi” he said back and you chuckle softly “do you want to hang out tonight?” you ask softly but then cover quickly just in case it stresses him out “Nothing stressful!... just like. We can hang out in my room and watch Jujutsu Kaisen or something.”

He feels like his whole body is trembling he’s desperate to say yes but his tongue feels so thick. You reach out and gently take a hold of his hand “hey” you say softly and he meets your eyes “it’s okay. How about you come over or you don’t and either way.. We’re still good friends” you smile softly and he tries to return it, knowing it must have looked a little wonky, but he nods, and does something that feels against his every fiber, he doesn’t let go of your hand.

You look at him when you reach the elevator and he nods once, answering the question in your eyes. You smile and squeeze his hand gently as you press your floor number. When you both exit together you look over your shoulder and watch the elevator doors close on Mirio grinning and holding his chest over his heart.

“Have you seen this?” You ask as you type the website in your computer

He nods “I’m on episode 16” he says softly and you beam at him “I am too! What a coincidence. Do you mind if we just watch from there?” He shakes his head and you smile, clicking the episode.

You watch episode sixteen and in the middle of seventeen he shifts a little closer to you, his pinky taking a hold of yours. You hum in approval and turn to smile at him, moving the rest of the way close to him and holding your hand out with a smile.

He gently placed his palm against yours and laced your fingers together, you could feel how his hand shakes but you didn’t let on to it.

by the end of episode eighteen your head was on his shoulder. He reaches out and presses the space bar to pause the show but doesn’t say anything, just sits back and shifts more to turn into you, resting his cheek against your head that was still on his shoulder.

“Tama?” You whisper softly, cuddling into him more. “Yes?” He asks

“I like you”

He tenses, just for a few seconds, before he squeezes your hand softly

“I- like you too” he confesses, a whisper that he was kind of embarrassed about how not confident it sounded, but it was perfect for you.

You moved slowly, turning your head to look up at him, surprised and impressed when he met your eye unwavering.

“We’ll take it slow okay? Whatever you’re comfortable with. You don’t have to worry. I’m not gonna be mad or sad or think bad about you if you’re not comfortable with something and you don’t have to feel uncomfortable with me and you can talk to me about everything”

he smiles, his face heating up and he leans down to press his forehead to yours, your eyes fluttering closed. He sighs softly “thank you. I- I hope I can give you what you need” you smile and rest your other hand on his chest “you already do” you whisper.

“- kiss you?” He whispers so soft you didn’t even hear the first words but you nod softly against him. Your heart fluttering and your breathing becoming quicker. He swallows, his hand squeezing yours a little tighter as he tries to talk himself into closing the small distance but he seems stuck, he feels like a fish out of water. He gasps softly, relaxing almost immediately when your hand moves up into his hair, softly running your fingers through it as you patiently wait for him.

You’re so sweet. So patient and caring, he felt so extremely lucky. He feels his body relax and he leans ever so slightly, connecting his lips to yours.

(One month later)

“Thanks for having us back so soon ma’am” you say and she smiles, her eyes saying what you’ve heard a hundred times but she just shakes her head. “Of course! I love you kids. It’s nice to see you two finally getting together too! You’d think soulmates would stay closer through the years but I guess I was wrong” you and Tama both choke, you on your water and him on the air.

“What was that mom?” Mirio says, wide eyes

“They’re soulmates!” She exclaims like it was obvious “... right? I mean all those times I babysat you guys as toddlers, they were thicker than thieves and talking about every color in the book I guess I just assumed. Are you not..?” She trails off but you’re just looking into Tamaki’s eyes.

“You were the little boy I knew.” You whisper with a smile

“You’re my soulmate.” he whispers back, immensely more relaxed around you than he was at the beginning.

“You didn’t know?” Mirio’s mom asks and you laugh and shake your head “I thought I didn’t have one and that’s why I saw colors. I didn’t know it was because I met him right away”

“I don’t even remember being babysat as a kid” Tamaki admits with a blush, his hand resting against your knee under the table, confident and not shaking.

“I’m glad it’s you” you whisper and smile when his blush deepens. “Me too” he says back, his hand squeezing your knee gently.