#just hashtag Bad Childhood things

[bloodofgrapes]

an accurate summary of the last two days

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

"unicron" being a serious term in transformers lore is bringing me back to my blue sky days. guy with a cigarette looking out the window. i havent heard that name in 84 years

[blacktoothcomics]

YOU CAN CLICK THE TAGS BELOW TO FIND THINGS I HAVE WRITTEN &/OR CURATED FROM OTHER USERS IN REBLOGS. 8D neet.

because i am SH*T at remembering things, here is a masterpost chat and contacts list (only mutuals can respond and reblog, safety first chickadees!) :

@blacktoothcomics -- ezra, he/they. unemployed and officially disabled. i share a town incredibly accidentally with jason mewes, like sold the man groceries during covid and had a fun little chat; certain now that kimmie's ghost has been watching over me.

@clearlyafandomblog -- rae, ezra's very strong wife. internet curation and social justice. extrovert. icon. genius. i lose all my grammar when i am around her. turned the proudest man you know into a simp. settled this bachelor. adopted this hobo. holder of ezra's lifedebt, but firstly and foremostly a loyal comrade.

@cuppa-decaf -- jeff, may or may not be pretending to be 15 again with ezra, they were well past age 21 whenever they drank together in public but it was still good anarcho fun to play chicken with the cop under the fireworks that night.

@silentlia -- silent, she/her. super groovy author, illustrator and social theorist that ezra met on roleplay repository dot com. excellent taste in wrestling theater, cultural migrant awareness, and games both video and tabletop alike.

@gracelithorizon -- the comic collaboration between ezra and silent, for free to everyone to enjoy or ignore at your leisure! (please share any similar projects of your own, if you wanna contribute blog curation or make requests and changes to this masterlist also, or do none of that cos im not ur parents)

@bettie-jettatura -- bettie, she/her. childhood cousin (?) to jeff and teenhood chum to ezra. no beatnik movement would be complete without a bettie, and that's all i'm gonna say about [redacted] with the body in that factory down [redacted] street, lmao, you know the one.

@anurognathusvilheimium -- vilheimie!! kermit noodle arms flappy yayyy dot gif!! a beleaguered STEM professional living in chemical-train-crash-noxious-fumes country. doing his best at all times and deserving of as much vacation as you could possibly give.

to get list:

vilheim, he could use some goofiness poor mans working with factory town republicans

marissa, for obvious reasons

reggie if he's down for only strictly clowning (no bad vibes allowed, no music supremacy)

oh, melee!!

and peanut.

AND WHERE IS BRENNAN MI BOIIY

codeine + crew, possibly

and anyone YOU people think would enjoy dumb radical performance art in a supportive and science-positive everything-ology interest group. to be taken as seriously or as stupidly as you wanna, baybee, ezra had to smoke a lot of weed to be comfortable typing in the third person (but that's just, like, creative journalistic formatting shh it's fiiine)

yell @ ppl here! message me (blacktoothcomics, ezra) to get your user or blog name added to my follow / mutuals and thus tagged access to reply in this post. i have to know you irl to list you here, sorry!

[thatdesklamp]

A general list of more irl-ish things about me that I think I’ve mentioned in comments or here on tumblr, so most people are on the same page, if anyone would actually like to know:

I think it’s very funny when people call me ‘thatdesklamp’ (it’s just so goofy) buutt you can also call me the real person name of Maggie if you would prefer

I chose my username the same way Billie Eilish chose her old Instagram username (old reference I know) (I literally looked at my old desk and was like, ok bet there’s the branding done)

I live in England rahhh (though I am not a rah I promise ok)

I’m currently a uni student and am a #woman in stem (hashtag is required) (once again, the phrase is so funny to me, I will always say it) (#steminist)

I have an A Level in English Lit and therefore will not shut up about it

I am a fervent hater of ‘Atonement’ by Ian McEwan (sorry Ian)

I’m not straight! Hence the silvermist pfp and the ‘yes she was my favourite character’ pun in my bio. It started off as a joke but I do not actually know whether the joke lands or not so I felt I should clarify.

I’ve been writing for years—pre-Ao3, I wrote many tens of thousands of words of essentially a Zuko x reader (from a:tla, sigh). It was very very bad and will never see the light of day. But it also got me back into writing! I look back on with the same awkward affection that you feel when you see childhood videos of yourself being a bit of a tit.

[munamania]

hi everyone this feels wildly self centered and silly but i made a guide to my dyke drama/lore that i talk about in barely coded but convoluted terms. i love internet safety. doing this at the request of exactly one person and for the rest of u it's under the cut if youre curious and feel so inclined hashtag close friends <3 i highlighted my previous ways of referring to these people and important notes bc otherwise i just rambled soooo bad <3 and as much as im maybe romanticizing in some ways here i do genuinely care for and love (most of) these people outside of my weirdofreak brain and try my best to do well by them in our relationships. and maybe i just wanted to write beautiful things about my friends whatever

lydia: they're on here we met on here and now we're roommates. we met bc we were two of the only bitches posting in the muna tag and she was brave enough to reply to my one naomi video. and i was like um ok... FREAK.. and then yk we were mutuals but i was always paranoid they'd somehow know film girl or my roommates (or just. other ppl) bc i was being insane so that was awk but then i had a mental breakdown a little bit one night on here about my childhood and decorating for holidays and they offered to meet on campus and give me some leaves for my window and i was like aww (and we used them this year to decorate our shared apartment :')) and i remember i was wearing my black and white sweatshirt that i wore to go see dan live that ive since given away i think but it feels like. a sign u know.. or whatever.. and we do have mutual friends in weird circles including one that connects to steve (see later notes) so it's like chances are we couldve met in person but this just made it really special. we beef bad. but with sooo much love. and i do think we're better for knowing each other or whatever...

film girl: this was bad. i have a tag dedicated to anything i remembered to tag as part of the saga but it was so bad and beyond anything words can say... i'd give her another name but she could never be anything but film girl. it's like if u were there u know. if u weren't... let's just say i was crazy insane mentally ill bonkers jeff buckley lover you shouldve come over i know it's over. maroon 5 even about it. bad. but consider she leaned into me like she did her bf for their first kiss, said our night together when we went to our friend's party where she had dressed up as jennifer check (i showed her the movie it was a whole thing) and danced with me and talked right against my neck and grabbed onto me while walking and said she was maybe bi and i deserved someone really nice and im so swaggy etc and then going back to her place and making me food and watching himym on the floor (oct. 21st u will go down in herstory...) made her the 'happiest person in the world,' stayed over at my apartment until the following morning more than once, unwrapped her bruised hand and held it out to me to see/touch (absolute freaks moment like kill me actually. and that was the day i perioded myself. to use pj of bottoms' terms.) was just generally engaging in psychosexual warfare with me all the time. and we didn't even fuck. or kiss. and she had a boyfriend. who looked like a girlfriend (not that i personally had in february of last year but regardless..) i mean come on she was a straight woman she wasnt even allowed to say slay.. i genuinely still think we need to kill each other but it doesn't matter. how is she still linked to my life? well. we had a class this semester with steve and stede and lydia and scully (prof im in love with. this name is hilar), sort of friends with cool artsy queer girl group (hometown friends, one her best friend i almost met up with at muna concert (with her) one who looks a bit like jackie kennedy. ok not really but that's the one my one friend josh (woman) made out with last semester), had a class with steve and sam last semester with dave, our shared prof that steve told details of our first date and etc to.

steve: this is gonna be ex situationship from beginning of this semester - mid october. gets this name bc they're obsessed w that pirate show so like stede but i simply wont name them that and at this point im annoyed enough w their taste in things that steve feels fitting. anyway. was genuinely very kind and sweet but also got clingy soo fast and we were on very different pages. we'd met last fall (when they had a gf) and worked together on sets and in a couple classes, they kind of got caught up in my triangulation of desire for jane at her birthday party.. and i had fun flirting! um and they were genuinely again very very considerate and sweet but like. seemed to struggle to have a personality outside of their ex and maybe their siblings a bit. idk. just very passive. sowwy. also they were not a very good kisser. i do remember back in may being vindicated bc they also commented on film girl and bf

jane: naming her jane in a gay way. a jane austen way. in that i think we should write lifelong love letters to each other. holy shit shut up. so this is always 'friend im in love with' or 'a little in love with' or whatever. she is also girl with cool short hair and piercings and tattoos and a bookbag with tits on it so god forbid my infatuation. and i just love her voice and i think she's brilliant and so good at what she does and all around just like an awesome person she inspires me to be better and whatever. and she always dresses so cool and used to host house shows (i still never made it to one) (film girl did once) and when we first started talking we were at a film event and were supposed to be networking or whatever but instead we stood by the drinks together and talked abt how we both wanted to be friends in our writing class but never said it and thought the other hated each other a little bit but we were both just awkward and so we'd always make eye contact and laugh and banter together in class and i rlly was just in love with her. and this summer was crazyyy we were on steve's set together and i was a little freak just so obviously enamored with her but the thing is she was obnoxious too so i didnt even feel like a loser. she asked me to massage her arms once and said my half assed attempt was lame and we leg wrestled (also w steve. kinda funny. like yeah u would) and exchanged drunk stories and she said i needed better ones and then i beat her at stack cup at her bday and gave her her card and she hugged me and her lips were wet from the beer she just drank from and right on my arm and i was like wow. her kingdom (surrounded by people who she loved and loved her) for a kiss upon my shoulder. if u will. and i had to have a middle school Look Away moment bc she stripped in front of a few of us that night and i was far too intoxicated to not like lose my mind. also she was supposed to give me a book on set once but never did and im still bummed. and one random night she texted asking if id found a place to live and when i answered she never followed up and i still wonder what that was abt. if anything. um but she does have a boyfriend of like 5 or 6 years. from high school. the worst part is hes a semi cool dude but it's just like really. let her fuck a woman! just once even! jk they are both genuinely cool people first and i think it's great they found each other in this life. but also like fuck off ugh. yk. not to romanticize my life and friendships i just think in another life we were soulmates or maybe in a way we are now. but we also only knew each other for a brief time so maybe something else. we could've done backstreets

sam: friend i just mentioned recently who has a crazy name we shant get into it. i do have a different actual friend named sam but i havent seen her in forever. so i met them working on steve's senior film set and thought they were cool and they were one of the only ones to make it out to our post-wrap dinner/drinks and then we had two classes together this semester. and so we became sort of allies we'd meet up to go to the museum together and send each other the attendance and i went to see fnaf when he rented out a theater for a huge group lol and he helped on my film which meant a lot even if it was only for a bit cause of you know. the everything that was going on. with steve and etc. it wasnt easy to get there so like bless their heart. they also came up with the name for my film and we had that moment around the fire and well i do hope i'll continue to see them just as a friend even, and they're genuinely just the coolest they do a lot of drag and character/costume design and are genuinely just one of the funniest most down to earth ppl i know and they always have the coolest fucking outfits and hats and shit and omg they looked so good in their doc. just something abt the posture and the whimsy and the earnestness and look overall. woah. um when we were on steve's set my friend jackie leaned over and said 'i thought they were film girl for a second' so basically i need to redacted. but it's not like that bad of a resemblance. once again has a partner cause im cursed forever to sleep on a twin size mattress maybe or whatever. i havent even listened to that song more than like once but maybe it is real for me. anyway they were also in the class with steve and film girl with dave.

stede: im sorry this is so funny to me bc this person and steve go by the same name irl but spelled differently or whatever. we met and had a very energetic chat in the hallway at the beginning of this semester jim thought we knew each other lol. they're real cute and endearing and like i said kind of give butch. and we had two classes together but i had so much shit going on man i just. yeah. seemed like they were maybe a little into me but whatever. and well i think we should have a fling but who said that

jim: my buddy prof he's my buddy :-) he helped me so much sophomore spring as i was trying rlly hard to produce our class films and insane already over film girl (he didnt know that but it was omnipresent) and so close to dropping out and is just the coolest guy. he's a little bit like a father figure what who said that. i remind him of his youngest daughter a lot and ive lived in the same buildings as his older one. so just funny connections. i go to his office hours and such a lot with the film friends

grace: one of my film friends. (i just realized i do know a girl in film named grace but it's not her so anyway.) i am in awe of the way she commits to stuff and motivates people around her. she is just so game for anything to make the best of a situation. shes studying abroad this semester so ive only seen her on video chats/texted and missed the one day she came back for her bf's bday. well and she was the friend who said 'no he can keep himself busy' when we went to go see x together so she didnt make me hang out w her not even lame bf at first which was so nice. cause then i eventually actually did want to meet him. and theyre the least annoying couple ive ever met. and shes bi <3

jackie: another film friend. also love her dearly another stoner so we'd smoke together before class sometimes and just went on a walk with our other friend one night around the woods and stuff that was fun. i usually refer to grace and jackie collectively as 'the film friends.' we met in that spring of sophomore year (same class as film girl and jim). this one did have steve produce her senior film after they said they wouldn't work on mine bc of the ""situation"" i was a little sour that was an awkward um situation but it's whatever. i sometimes say film friends and mean a larger group of these ppl/a few extended but whatever

frank: ive just called him frank hes frank hes the coolest dude in the world i think everyone would be obsessed with him and i just think like man hes lived such a life. he's my short cool professor whos just so good at what he does. he's met so many people and done so many things. his van is so him he has a suction cup to pull his windows up in the winter and random albums in the front seat. im gonna try to work w him next semester. i was in that van last night feeling like i was in a gta level to go pick up pizza for our final class.

scully: my film comedy and tv analysis professor she is so everything to me... she loves women and evil women and gay people and camp and horror and comedy and tv and sex and just weirdo freak shit and shes so intelligent and quick on her feet and charming and just. an amazing lecturer. she said be gay do violence once. i felt seen. she said she used to pull her friends (favorite characters) out of the tv and carry them around in her pocket and i knew she understood... she saw bottoms and emailed me and lydia right away. and she's seen willow. and ofc so many other things. and she'll go 'this seems like the type of person/film/etc that you would be inspired by..' OK QUEEN I LOVE U. i want to do cocaine with her. huh. im taking gender and film with her next semester :333 im so excited

claire: friend from high school friend group who ended up ditching me and our other friend a lot that one summer and we almost lived together and we're just always kinda weird around each other but we were some of the only ppl the other hung out with fall semester 2020 so like.

drake and josh: i almost always refer to them together they're codependent a little bit roommates and i love them dearly and i met them thru claire sophomore year but ive hung out with them alone and stayed at their place when i got too drunk and that night i fell down the stairs. me and drake act a little homoerotic sometimes for fun. i cried at dinner over film girl once to her it was embarrassing. i miss going hammocking with them <3

dave: i had him last fall he's really cool he got me on a shoot w the mayor (and steve and jane) and was so cool about me not ocming to class a lot bc i kept in touch w him and hes my homie. film girl had a class w him then too and then last semester was the like news class that crew had together. and steve told dave all abt our first date and etc and got date ideas from him and i was like oh wow... ok lol

couch: couch roommate. theyre not relevant in my life enough to make a name but the couch story was stupid as hell and this one also left ground beef in the sink that one time and had a thing for a rugby girl that steve had a little fling with

jean: if i say 'one of my masc gfs' i probably mean them. sort of friends with couch like she was in my apartment once last year but um. yeah. had a crush on them for like a month at one point and we follow each other on insta and talked when we saw each other on campus the first time and thats like it. chances r ill forget abt this fake name and still just throw that in if i ever see her

[kominion-worlds]

hey everyone.

i’m kominion and i make electronic music. i’m not sure how to define it, as i’m notoriously bad with genres (and hashtags, & many other things). but if you like porter robinson, jai wolf, madeon, or certain vocaloid producers, i might just be your new fav. if not, i hope to talk to you anyway.

for the longest time, i tried to be sound like every other artist i idolized. porter robinson specifically, because he makes beautiful music that touches something in my soul, and honestly, i can relate 1000% to his mental health struggles. but i can only be me, and porter is someone whose work inspired me to be as open and honest as i can with my own music.

which brings me to artifact, an album that is at least 7 years in the making. what began as a sci-fi concept album first conceived while listening to porter & madeon’s shelter became an intensely personal journey through my childhood trauma, something i wasn’t even aware that i had until it was brought up in therapy and i began to process it as an adult.

and against all odds, artifact would thankfully not leave me alone. even through my adhd habits, periods of procrastination, depression, a short stint in alcoholism, a toxic relationship, my notorious inability to finish most things i start, and the death of my prior laptop. it kept calling my back.

now, i’m thankful to say that in just one day’s time, it will be here. i hope you keep an open mind and heart and give it a chance, but more than that, i hope you give yourselves a chance.

you’re worthy. you’re beautiful. your emotions, experiences, and identities are valid. know that the one thing you’ll always have to fight hardest against in this world is yourself and your own perceived limitations. you’re more than you might think you are, and most importantly, you’re enough. remember that. 💜  

you can check out my music & socials below ;]

https://linktr.ee/kominion

[sweetmariihs2]

Hey guys! Um.. I'm not frequently on this hashtag and just came here to adress that Melanie Martinez songs make a perfect playlist for Sun and Moon. It's been years since the release of Security Breach and still this day I never found anyone talking about that (believe me, I search everywhere from time to time in years (when my hyperfixation starts again lol)) and I'm starting to believe that if I don't say anything, no one will. So umm yeah I don't want to make a big post I just wanna point it out

If you're here in Tumblr and you're interacting with fandoms for a really long time you probably heard at least one of her songs before. Basically for those interested she makes songs with childish aesthetics and serious themes. Her most recent album is more fairycore though, but the first ones aren't.

She has an album called Cry Baby (it's about a disturbed childhood), an album called K-12 (it's about school), and an EP called After School (inspired by school themes but more inspired in the artist's life) and they fit Sun and Moon very well

Also I wanted to add that some of her best gems are unreleased, and like, there are some really good stuff that fit Sun and Moon, you just need to search for it

The songs that fit them most are the first ones of the list, the rest is more like,,, they fit them well but not like the first ones ya know what i mean

That's my mini list of recomendations if anyone is interested;

(if you're going to make a playlist for YouTube be careful with the unreleased ones, Melanie tends to delete them from time to time):

Unreleased- Twins (this one sounds like it was made for them. Want me to put all the lyrics here? Okay then.)

Unreleased- Toy Chest ("clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere" (it's from Barney))

Unreleased- Arts and Crafts (creating the perfect bf on arts and crafts)

Released- Glued (she's sad and talking about how her sadness is glued to her like school glue)

Unreleased- Night Mime (she's sad and silent during the night like a night mime. She's waiting for the sunrise so that she can be happy again)

Released- Tag, You're It (she's being chased by a big bad wolf while making analogy to a tag game. It sounds like a little childhood game but the chaser is very sinister and want to do bad things to her)

Released- Teddy Bear (this one fits the whole franchise. Her "teddy bear" (probably a metaphor for an important person in her life, maybe her boyfriend or best friend) was sweet to her before, now he's trying to kill her. "You were my teddy bear, you were comforting and quiet, how did love become so violent?". This was released in 2015, if you're here in the fnaf fandom for a really long time or in the whole fandom part of the internet by itself you know this one. It brings me a lot of memories. How I miss the 2010's)

Released- Sippy Cup (you can try to hide your problems but they're always there. "Blood still stains if the sheets are washed". Even if you always try to keep the lights on, that animatronic killed kids inside the daycare and it can happen again if the lights go out. Oh-oh :c

Released- Carousel (you proably heard this one before let's be real)

Released- Drama Club (theatre!!! Yay)

Released- Show And Tell (She's tired, as an artist, of always playing a character in front of everyone. It's the ventrilocus noises for me)

Released- The Contortionist (idk it's the vibe)

Unreleased- Schizo ("i don't know who you are 'cause I don't know who i am, how can we learn how to love if you change your mind again? I don't know who to be, who do you want me to be?")

Released- Alphabet Boy (a rude boy is telling her how much smarter he is than her for knowing how to spell and write the ABCs)

Released- Lunchbox Friends (we are best friends forever yipee🫶🫶🤝)

Unreleased- Unhappy meal (inspired by McDonalds. Idk it just makes me think of sun)

Released- Pity Party (it's her birthday party and nobody showed up. Then she tries to play pretend with her toys and teddy bears, but she still know that she's alone and ends up destroying her party and stabbing her toys with knives. She's tired of being alone. :(

Released- Fire Drill (she's in a fire, it's the song that plays after the end of the K-12 album. It sounds like a nursery rhyme. There are children singing with her.)

Released- Dollhouse ("everyone seems to be perfect, please don't let them look through the curtains, DOLLHOUSE, I see things that nobody else sees" (again y'all probably know that one))

Released- Play Date (being romantically used by someone while doing analogies to games and toys)

Small list of songs that deserve to be mentioned but don't make a lot of sense like the last ones, it's just the vibes: The whole After School EP, the whole Cry Baby album, Gingerbread Man, Lost and Found, Patient, Papercuts, ZZZZ

There are also some fan-made type beats, since Melanie's community also sometimes link her to jesters and clowns and also make songs about her already released albums, so like here are some: Class Clown, Naptime, Fire Alarm, Janitor's Closet (I love this one sm!!), Punishment

All of those type beats have their own artists, some of those artists even sell them, so make sure if they are free to use if you want to make a playlist, but I guess it's okay to listen to them for fun since they were posted on youtube

Tell me what you think about those. I love interacting with people who like the same things as me 🫶🫶

[aaal-iz-well]

Guyssss...

Okay, babe, deep breath.

Done?

Good.

Let's roll

WTF is happening? I swear to god a month ago I was checking this hashtag for updates like my life depended on it, and I had great plans for my wip's and everyone was making predictions about what the vault might contain.

Then I tell myself to start making some headway with my studies because exams are breathing down my neck and I (somehow) manage to keep away from this fandom that has been my life and blood for so long. AND ALL HELL BREAKS LOSE!!

Now we know that there are THREE books related to this fandom coming out this year and we might get Toby and Hannah and I'm so excited!

But there are two characters who have my undivided attention atm and I want to talk about them!

So now we have all the main characters, I'm so thrilled that Rohan is one of them because his story is so intriguing to me and it also adds to some much needed Indian or Pakistani (though most prob Indian) representation.

Just think about the kind of background he must have come from, let that blow your mind!

I know that he is going to have a real tragic backstory. Think something involving childhood abandonment or abuse or (most probably) separation from his loving family, coming to London, being faced with the HUGE cultural shock and the nail biting cold and relentless rain. Add to this: making sense of the weird accent. Being picked off the street to do some odd work for the Devil's Mercy. Slowly getting to know it's secrets and rising among its ranks till he reached Factotum. Falling for Zella (first love, maybe?), having his heart broken.

AND THEN HAVING HIS TITLE STRIPPED AT THE END!

CAN YOU FEEL THE BAD BLOOD ENERGY RISING?

'cause baby now we got bad blood...

I also believe that often things are not so one dimensional and that Zella is nothing short of deserving the position. She has undeniably had her struggles with gaining the power she now holds and being a woman of colour in a royal household. But I'm focusing of Rohan here, maybe I'll make a detailed post about Zella sometime later?

These are all only theories, but I can't help thinking that it's going to be something along these lines.

And then there's the fact that Jameson is not going to be a main character (*crying emoji cause I cant seem to insert one of the proper size*) Like he has so many unfinished threads and so much family drama to sort out.

We never got to see an independent confrontation of Ian over how he used Jameson to get what he wanted, or anything about the Prague mystery!!

And I know this might be a bit controversial with some of you, but I really want to see him and Avery fight. Because ofc they are a power couple and express their love to each other in such creative ways. BUT, but you get to know so much about a character when you see their world shifting, when the one thing that they believed to be an anchor is uprooted. How they act when the other is out of orbit. AND WE SIMPLY HAVEN'T SEEN THAT FOR JAMESON. I also might be holding out for a very hot romantic make up later on, but my point stands.

So there's my little (rather late) bit, but still.

Also to those who have read my work and have been so kind to shower me with kudos and comments, I want to apologise profusely. There is a lot to come, but just not at this moment when exams are leeching the life out of me, and trust me when I say I have the most elaborate plans for the future!

Like always, can't wait to hear all your brilliant thoughts. Have a good day/night (depending on whatever time zone you guys are in)

Also please check out Lockwood and Co if you have the time because it's something that I can't stop thinking about and would love to talk about. As an added bonus, one of the mc is kinda like Jameson (and that's how you know I have a type)

[swanmay-that-got-away]

Fritz Leiber Was Always a Creep

I gotta hashtag cancel a dead man. I feel like I've talked about this before but I can't find the post so, shrug.

So there is this widespread idea among Sword and Sorcery fans who desperately want to reconcile their love of Leiber with the fact that he wrote some genuinely grotesque things in his books. The idea is, Leiber only wrote more pedoshit after his first wife died and his alcoholism got worse. And this isn't to say that topics like rape and child abuse and formative traumas are not things we should write about. They are, but I would submit to you, Leiber is pretty blatantly fantasizing with his self-inserts. Leiber isn't saying anything about the human condition here, or giving you an arena to contemplate your relationship with the topic. This is not Lolita, folks, this is just an old man who thinks preteens are hot.

So the refrain you always hear is "Oh Leiber really suffered from Alcoholism and his later works get really gross because of it. It's a shame because he was so great before." And I need to point out to those people that that timeline of events doesn't make sense. Leiber joined AA in 1957 or so, and there was a marked increase in his drinking in 1969 when his first wife died. Here are some of the stories he wrote during his active alcoholism:

Bazaar of the Bizarre

Lean Times in Lankhmar

Stardock

The Swords of Lankhmar

Here are some of the books he wrote during his worst drinking period:

The Snow Women

Ill Met in Lankhmar

Rime Isle

You will notice that these are all some of his best stories. Basically, if the story is good but it wasn't in Swords Against Death specifically, he wrote it while he was in his alcoholism mode. The Leiber you love is not divorceable from his alcoholism period. This is not by itself an issue. It's a disease like any other. Being an alcoholic does not make you a bad person automatically, holy shit, it makes you a person who is ill and needs assistance.

But the specific cause of the "later alcoholism = gross stories" idea comes mainly from the fact that Knight and Knave of Swords gets really pedophilic. I'm reading Swords of Lankhmar (written 20 years previous) right now, and let me tell you, it's been here the whole fucking time. Swords of Lankhmar is 1968 and Fafhrd AND Mouser are already openly wishing there were children for them to fuck. It certainly becomes more prominent in the half of the story Leiber wrote post-1969 alcoholism increase, but it was always there. Kind of like how the misogyny was always there, The Snow Women was dinosaur-tier misogynistic even by 1970 standards. He was always like this, at LEAST as early as 1962, when he retroactively decided Mouser's pedophilia was caused by a traumatic incident involving his childhood love interest dying in front of him (in the same incident that made Mouser give up magic).

Leiber was a great and influential writer to the Fantasy genre, the Pulp genre, and specifically Swords and Sorcery. He also wrote his beloved self-insert characters as pedophiles for almost 30 years. You can like the story even though it has gross parts. I think we all have favorites with gross parts. Just, let's not pretend it didn't happen, OK?

[irlmumrik]

parsnip facts that literally not a soul asked for but I love my boy

-left his baby brother at a pharmacy by accident

-didn't know the concept of relatives or grandparents up until he was seven years old and was just like, 'man we go to these old peoples houses a lot I wonder why they look like dad and know my name that's weird'

-loveeeeessss the wintertime stays up for it every year even if he gets sleepy and cranky, his favorite things are snow lanterns and dumping handfuls of snow on his windowsill and watching it melt

-ends up becoming full time artist especially skilled in acrylic, he also loves using crayons because of the texture

-very immunocompromised :-(( he's sick with something for every holiday, he doesn't mind too much though because he gets treats when he does get sick

- he is disabled he has nerve damage in his left leg from when he was a baby and it never truly went away it aches and tingles and sucks to walk on some days or sometimes it will just fully give out, he uses a crutch on bad days as he gets older he switches to a wheelchair

-loves sweaters they make up his entire wardrobe his favorite is a blue one with a clothing line stretched across the sleeves

-horrible cook, only knows how to make grilled cheeses and rice

-wants to be good at music but never has the patience for it, he plays the guitar and knows some songs though!

-horrible to play cards with he has the worst poker face so terrible that it ends up being good and will cheat his way to a win

-can turn into a moomin if he pinches his ears

-has a mermaid boyfriend named tomas! friends since childhood after tomas saved him from falling into the sea they're hashtag stupid together

-doesn't believe in expiration dates and keeps food underneath his bed in a tupperware box

-KICKS in his sleep and not baby kicks he kicks HARD he sucks to sleep next to

-hates fishing, hates fish, hates worms, hates lakes (gets bit up by bugs), hates the smell of fish hates the taste of fish hates the feel of fish hates their eyes he hates fish so much

[futuristictheoristcowboy]

Halloween is coming up and this is really stupid, but I'll always feel depressed about it. I'll always be an outsider to Halloween. I never celebrated any holiday or any Birthday as a kid and its not that bad, really, but I always wanted to be a part of something like that. I wish i had a picture of me dressed for Halloween, I wish I had the memory of going out with friends, I wish I could participate in that childhood self indulgence of celebrating your life and eating sweets you scavenged for. Its not the worst thing in the world, but god it really does kind of sting sometimes and i do think the lack of celebration is a gateway of lack of communication, community, and just deters the quality of life, which is why a lot of cults like banning them or making them about something else entirely.

The thing is though, I recently had a chance to show up to celebrations during quarantine, and I hated it so much. I hate big surprises and people recording my face to those surprises. I get worried over choosing gifts. It's exhausting and draining. And I think that means I will never have the ability to reclaim the childhood I lost at the hands of some stupid cult. because holidays did kinda suck the older I got, yet i still anticipate them like the child i was, waiting to hear people's stories over what they got as presents or how much candy made them sick. I remember believing one day, I'll run away and me and all my friends will have the biggest Halloween and Christmas parties ever! with the most presents, and we'll all be wearing wacky costumes and eating the best treats.

But I think now I'm realizing, I might always have to be the kid that got sent out of the classroom with some book into the quiet empty school hallways, with the only sounds coming from the ventilation systems and the laughs and festive music booming yet muffled through all those closed doors. All for "religious reasons."

thankfully though, i guess the silver lining is that i'll be living cheap and won't have to worry about setting up any decorations i guess so technically we're still kind of wining or at least being hashtage #positive

[nanowrimo]

4 Tips for Success and LGBTQ Community Building

Amara Lynn is a five year consecutive NaNoWriMo winner and a member of the LGBTQ community. Today, they’re going to be sharing 4 tips for success and building your writing community!

1. Have a plan.

If you’re a writer, you’ve probably heard of the phrase “panster”, and you might even be one! If you aren’t a big plotter or planner, that’s okay! You can still have a plan!

My first year, I was also a panster. What I did was make a word document full of the scenes I knew I wanted to include in the story. When I got stuck, all I had to do to was look at that file. I still had plenty of room to play and pants!

Planning doesn’t just go for writing, either! NaNoWriMo can be stressful, even without distractions and other tasks we all have to do day to day. That’s why a little planning in your personal life can go a long way!

This could be anything from catching up your house chores, doing some meal prep or planning, or stocking up on your favorite snacks and writing fuel (coffee for me!). I also take some vacation days. If that’s something you can do, it can be very helpful, and brings me into my next tip, which is…

2. Have a writing buffer.

We all know, no matter how much planning you do, something won’t go your way. One year, my waterbed burst and I had to spend all night cleaning it up!

If you have time and the words are flowing one day, keep on writing! Being ahead can only help! If you’re roped into Thanksgiving dinner prep, or things just aren’t going well for you one day, it doesn’t upend your chances of crossing that 50k mark.

3. Participate in writing sprints!

Sprinting with your friends can add a bit of friendly competition, urgency, and companionship to your writing sessions!

It can be a challenge at first, especially if you’re going for that infamous 1k words in 30 minutes! I’ve only managed that once so don’t feel bad! Remember progress is progress and all words are great! If you manage at least 500 words in 30 minutes, it’s only about one and a half hours to get your words for the day.

4. Find a community.

Finding your writing people can be hard, but it’s one of the best things you can do to help you succeed!

I’ve known about NaNoWriMo for a long time. I would try, but never made it past the first day. It wasn’t until I had a community of writing friends that I won my first NaNo.

Because I felt having a community is important, particularly for LGBTQ+ writers, I started a Twitter writing hashtag called #LGBTQWriMo! Any LGBTQ+ writer is welcome to participate by answering the questions posted each day. There are check in days, line shares, and more!

As a queer, nonbinary person writing queer books, I know how nerve wracking it can be to participate in local events; not everyone may be welcoming of the content you write. That’s why an online community specifically for LGBTQ writers can be so important! It helps to know you’re not alone.

If you're seeking to build up your writing community, I highly recommend online spaces like Twitter for doing so! The LGBTQ writing community has been so welcoming and supportive to me, and I wouldn’t be where I am without them!

Don’t go it alone! Encouragement and enthusiasm others give is essential for success!

Amara Lynn has always been a quiet daydreamer. Coming up with characters and worlds since childhood, they eventually found an outlet in writing.They were born and raised in the Midwest USA, where they remain stuck with their spouse and two cats. They love to write about soft monsters and cryptids, grumpy enbies, and forever will be weak for the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one trope. When not writing, they are usually watching anime, playing games, and obsessing over their out of control music playlists.

You can learn more about Amara and their books on their website or follow them on Twitter, Instagram, or Tiktok.

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

[cartoonbabbles]

UNHINGED CONSPIRACY BABBLE TIME

The one ding dang time my account's name is accurate. Spoilers for Inside Job Parts 1 and 2 below the cut.

So... that finale broke my heart, soul, and brain. Just like the good old days of Amphibia, but that's not important. Because here we finally get to see Reagan take control of Cognito and start doing things her way. Hashtag girlboss. BUT. There is one teeny tiny little detail from the end of Part 2 Episode 8 that we all saw... the Robes saying "she's only human." And while that may appear true for now, let's think about this a little more.

Clearly, the show is setting up at least one more season, where we'll likely figure out the origin of the Robes and the ancient magic they use, all that blibber blabber. But more importantly, Reagan is going to stop whatever they have planned, because it's kind of obvious they're being set up as either the big bads or the big bads who team up with the protags when the true final boss shows up. But I digress.

"She's only human."

That line kinda flew over my head the first time I saw the season finale because I was too busy being sad about Stadler, but we'll get to him in a future post maybe. But rewatching it, and having seen the intro a few more times, I'm starting to get the feeling the Robes might be wrong.

We already know Reagan's origins are a little fucked up at least. Rand messed with her DNA, and her memories, she had a pretty abnormal childhood, but we've only seen snippets. Her in elementary school, the prom, and then suddenly Cognito. There's a whole lot of stuff we still don't know about our main protag, and I don't just say this as someone filling out a wiki. I mean there's some dead giveaway in her past that the show isn't giving out just yet. Some detail so mind blowing, it's hidden in plain sight.

Reagan Ridley is not Rand's daughter. Or Tamiko's daughter.

Or anyone's daughter.

Reagan Ridley is not human, and it's been flying under everyone's radar since episode one. Don't believe me? Keep reading.

In the intro, we see an edit of clips briefly giving some context to each of the crew at Cognito. Rand is a drunk, Andre is a doctor, Glenn gets surgery, even Alpha Beta being the robot president. And each of these points gets addressed in the show to some degree. Except for one.

Aside from all the side characters and flashy visuals, one part of the sequence stood out to me, because it hasn't been addressed yet. Reagan's.

In Reagan's sequence, her face opens Fnaf-style to reveal an even smaller Reagan piloting her. And while I'd say symbolism is a really strong suit of the show, and that it's more than likely a Men in Black reference, the rest of the intro is too blatant about future plot points to not be taken seriously. Even the flat earth was there!

So where does this put Reagan? It's likely she's not what she seems, and I could be reaching here but her robot pinkie, and association with robotic limbs and partners could be hints at something. We just don't know what. Or do we?

Let's head back to Part 2 Episode 8 shall we?

In addition to that one odd line, there's a flashback sequence where the Robes explain the simple meaning behind their origin. Humans dumb, some were smart, smart ones became the Robes. But the smart one in their flashback bore a striking resemblance to Reagan. Someone who parallels her exact motives of protecting humanity from itself, no matter the moral conundrums.

And right after that, Reagan asks if she can take a peek under the Robes, and asks if they're "even human." Interesting, to say the least.

All this being said, I can't make a solid prediction as to how or why or even what kind of nonhuman Reagan is, I can only rule out she's not human, or any of the other major races in the show. Potentially a robot, but the whole Robes thing puts a wrench in it. I'm predicting that Part 3, if and when it comes out, will start making things more and more clear that Reagan's connection to the robes goes a lot deeper than you'd think at first.

Or maybe she's a robot who can drink alcohol. Or is just a normal human. Any answer can happen in the show.

[red-dyed-sarumane]

what the fuck is up with akire ocs. masterpost made way too quick while i need to sleep. i was going to add images but im tired feel free to look at the toyhouse pages tho

723 - behavioral issues. by choice. shes just like that.

aira - trapped in xeir own personal ever changing hell. like literally xi is stuck in a world that feeds off of & changes based on fears.

aisha - killed by her best friend.

alstroemeria - selectively mute until an injury made her permanently mute. often mistreated by people who think they know best bc she can't verbally argue with them

amari - she is willingly in such a fucked up relationship. constantly being framed by and the subject of bad rumors from her gf (fuyue)

amaryllis - no one listened to her or took her seriously so she ran away & when no one came to look for her realized no one really cared anyway! (isolation)

ash - was trapped in the same hell world as aira but made a deal to get out. her morals are destroyed from it & she tries to trap others in the world so she doesnt have to go back

cestria - idk what her deal is. shes just violent. hashtag influencer things i guess

cherry - u know what i dont think she has any. hm.

chime - no sense of self. theyre exclusively a mirror, intentional or not, of the people around them

chira - commits to the bit too much. will exploit people for views

cleo - refuses to get involved even when she can help. she only wants the scoop on drama

crian - currently, she beats herself up over not being able to help void before they ran away & thinks its partly her fault

daelryc - trust issues

dusk - naturally more violent than ur average person. also trapped against her will

feisha - family issues only fushia knows about. they wont talk about it to anyone else.

fjahva - his mom hates him. he gets kicked out if he tries to come back home. among other mistreatments

flora - trapped against her will & forced to participate in ethically questionable experiments

fushia - mild childhood bullying

fuyue - everything (no). malicious, petty thief, constantly lying for her own amusement, frames her gf for her crimes, blackmails, etc etc etc. why? shes bored

glacia - bully. manipulator. potential murderer but she hasnt stooped that low yet

greeml - theyre self conscious of their ears bc theyre pointy. thats like their worst problem. bc i love them

hanabi - social media poisoned mind. shes not an influencer she just needs to get offline

helix - playboy. self obsessed. used his own blessings on himself enough the other deities demoted him to demigod.

iono - despite neither of her parents being qualified to care for a kid she surprisingly doesnt have any serious problems

iraidis - carrying the weight of being rejected by several generations of people & erasure of proof of her existence

itsumi - shut in by choice & lost all her communication skills. very familiar with escapism

jade - idk i havent thought about it enough yet

keppi - also carrying the weight of generational rejection and erasure

kin - theres just so much wrong with her. she's taking herself down and the world with her. or just kinako. either works

kinako - straight up no will to live she endures whatever kin does to her. or doesnt. she dies a lot.

konome - orphan? lives in the woods with his sister & causes problems for people (""natural"" disasters)

kumo - god complex (they are not a god). the fact they arent dead is a miracle bc they are so stupid and bold and rash

kyeslu - weird girl. no one hates her per se but no one really gets along with her either.

lavender - also trapped in her own hell world

lilium - cave explorer. in the tundra. i think that counts.

linesus - (my sister :) ) well. shes dead. guess she had worm farming trauma too idk

lyra - bullied :(

lyrica - also in personal hell world

maien - shes just massively unlucky.

malshay - power complex (is that what its called??) needs to prove shes better than everyone.

manayo - causes problems on purpose. shes a fox demon she can do what she want tho

meimu - haha trauma of dying repeatedly while the worlds falling apart etc etc shes an aru sekai fan oc thats all i need to say

meision - idk i need to think about her more

meringue - got mad once (unfairly discharged from her job) and now shes a serial killer. hashtag girlboss or whatever

meshika - orphan? lives in the forest with her brother causing problems for people. has definitely killed people but good luck proving it

mkoom - victim of capitalism

nuria - disrespected & killed. now carries the stress of maintaining an entire world with her mind

oken - trauma (?) of turning into a cat against his will

paolo - would rather be a bird than a person

pomgara - distrusted & frustrated by it so shes rather sharp

refrichi - trauma of using her ability. not only accidentally killing people but also casual self harm so she can protect herself (she controls blood. if that makes it make more sense)

rhonda - unsuited to her home country & the problems that come with that. not necessarily stockholmed but she did fall in love with a serial killer

roselii - bad home life. she's overprotective bc of it

ryuusei - isolation of being in space only to come to earth & have to act like a celebrity

sarlina - blank spots in her life bc her ability consumes memories if shes not careful.

saturday - petty.

saturn - burden of maintaining balance in the world. emotionally isolated bc of it

scarlet - bully manipulator liar etc etc and all for her own gain. started bc she didnt want to get punished for bad grades & then she never stopped

sepheria - trust issues. emotional isolation bc shes from a different time period & no one will understand

sera - forced into a sort of celebrity type role he didnt want

seyla - idk what to say here she doesnt really cause problems & she doesnt really have any. mischievous at most

shaia - abandoned his duties as the weight of them was too much. somehow still a deity regardless

sometya - doesnt like people. scaredy cat. yet theyre always off exploring other worlds

sora - ability related trauma. naturally a kind hearted person but she's killed people & it haunts her

teila - tired of rejection she'll promise anything to get her way. ironically shes a shitty mom who rejected her son

tobio - trust issues & quick to argue.

towaka - accidentally got herself trapped in a video game & no longer has control over herself or a way to communicate

vanilla - fear of the unknown & stays in an area that frustrates her bc of it

viridia - victim of her own sister, verbally tormented, tricked into going places she shouldnt & losing important items bc of her only to come home and get told her sister wouldnt do that she should be more like her.

void - we've been over this. bullying into a mental breakdown into 8 years of physical and emotional isolation

wyndi - also carrying the weight of generations of rejection & erasure

xeli - victim of various poisoning attempts that dont work bc theyre immune

yuclenya - isekai'd into a world she knew nothing about, didnt speak the language, was cornered by people looking for a fight, only found out she had an ability when she used it out of fear & it thoroughly cut up her hands

[msmunchlax]

An Introduction

Hello! Welcome to my little bitty blog on the great wide internet! This is just a side-blog, so forgive any weird follow-backs or replies. On to the fun stuff -- My name is Aster! approximately twenty-six years ago, I received a Gameboy Pocket as a Christmas gift, and with it: Pokémon Red. Because the anime had just begun airing, and the trading card craze had kicked off in the United States, I eagerly started up the game. I picked Charmander as my starter -- and thus began my first ever save file. My parents were not what you'd call wealthy, so it was the only game of my own I had, and whenever I'd beat it, I would start over - and always choose Charmander. I had lots of fun! I wore out the cartridge. But then I entered late middle school, and Pokémon became a thing of my childhood. It remained the only game I had ever played -- at least, until Pokémon Go! 2016 was a bad year for me, and that little app got me out of my house and walking around, and reignited my interest in these little pocket monsters. In 2020 I bought a Switch (for Animal Crossing, tbh) and picked up Sword & Shield....which I didn't finish. That little spark had already faded away, and I sunk 700 hours into Animal Crossing instead. If I'm honest, what reignited my interested in the franchise was meeting my girlfriend. Unlike me, she'd been playing Pokémon all along, and had lots of stories and sentiment I just couldn't match. Her passion got me excited, and we decided to play Scarlet & Violet together -- and I had a BLAST. So much so, that here we are now! It's time to go back and see what I missed out on, and play all of the existing Pokémon Generations. Starting with Fire Red (in place of Red), and reuniting with my childhood Charmander, Scorch. The Rules 1. Play every generation of Pokémon, on either an emulator or my Switch. 2. Try to play with as many new or unfamiliar Pokémon as possible. 3. Create a new Trainer OC or each game, with Fire Red being a Trainersona. And that's it! I should note here that this is not a Nuzlocke, fun as those are (and I do have an in-progress Nuzlocke on Violet.) This is an attempt at getting to be a kid again for a few hours a day, playing a game I really loved and enjoyed. Below will be a Masterpost with links to each Trainer, and the hashtag for each game. Hope to see you around, and I hope we all enjoy our Pokémon journeys!

[holidaywithahobbyist]

⏳🌠🎭 marin !!

⏳ HOURGLASS - are they usually late or on-time?

I think once she becomes queen she’s forced to be on time but also she thinks it’s sort of funny to disrespect important people that she doesn’t respect. Hashtag girl. When she lived by herself tho nobody knows what she’s gonna do next not even her. Never let them know ur next move…

🌠 SHOOTING STAR - if they could make any wish with no repercussions, what wish would they make?

Before she was queen it would definitely be to have family. She got her memories mostly erased for her protection and for most of her life she just dreamed about it. Now though I think she would wish for wren and pheonix to remember things from their childhood (bc they’re cousins that all grew up together) and that she could be around them more :,)

🎭 MASKS - do they act differently around certain people? what's different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?

She doesn’t really have much of a filter around anyone lol. She’s just very very genuine and says what she thinks up front which is bad for politics maybe but she’s so open that people tend to love her now. Around family though she tends to be a bit more quiet and trying to just relax and enjoy her time w them