#just hashtag Bad Childhood things

[bloodofgrapes]

an accurate summary of the last two days

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

"unicron" being a serious term in transformers lore is bringing me back to my blue sky days. guy with a cigarette looking out the window. i havent heard that name in 84 years

[nicherayyy]

Giorno Giovanna with Sibling!Reader hcs

Attention: you may see some spoilers to Golden Wind, so if you're still in process of watching anime/reading manga I advice you to return here after you're finished

A/N: starting to take requests again, so if you have any other ideas don't be shy and hit that ask button!

Let me say it, you and Giorno are inseparable since childhood

I mean, with how abusive your childhood was, you alway tried to look out for each other

At least you had each other in all this mess

But of course, everything changed after you've encountered that strange man

Giorno and you didn't even understand what happened before you were under protection of the mafia

The kids that were bullying you suddenly became nice

Your stepfather stopped hitting you

And life suddenly was.. not that bad

That's when you two realised who you helped that day

And since then Giorno knew who he wanted to be

And you happily followed him

But it more looked liked:

"let's join the mafia"

" ..yeah sure why not"

And then both of your hair colours suddenly changed

That was the moment when you discovered your abilities as a hairdresser

Because what can be better than sibling bonding through braiding your brother's hair?

You looked through a lot, and I mean A LOT tutorials to make Giorno's hair presentable

And he's really grateful for that

"Are you done?"

"Stop moving your head or I'll take those scissors and chop your hair off"

Then you started to scam tourists at the airport

It's such a funny concept actually, two 15 year olds scamming people as a taxi drivers

Well, Giorno is the one who drives

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

*Giorno, having his Formula 1 moment* "Absolutely"

And well, you trust your brother with your life

But still, you hold onto that seatbelt for your dear life

"I lived a pretty good life"

"Shut it"

And then there was Bruno

Not gonna lie, this guy kind of scared you

But hey, after a fight and some torn off limbs, everything turned out just fine

And then Polpo..

Remember the lighter?

The fire in it died down.. like the first hour

And it was kind of your fault

"Hold the lighter for a bit, I.. WAIT DON'T SNEEZE"

And again, everything worked out in the end

(You still got scolded by Giorno)

(And he forgave you almost instantly)

So yeah, that's how you got in the mafia at the ripe age of 15😀👍

And it turns out, Leone treats you slightly better than Giorno

Overall, the whole gang treats you well

And you even became good friends with Narancia

But the most important thing is, you're just glad to be there for your brother

Hashtag supportive sibling

[antimony-medusa]

man, just going through and queueing my thousandth emduo fan art and considering my emduo writing I'm doing this evening and with a VOD of an emduo stream open in a tab and with emduo art as my desktop background and I was just struck by a thought:

Undoubtedly this would be kinda weird to see people getting this into your friendships.

Like not even getting into whumping characters or aging them down or shipping or doing deep lore and meta of off-hand comments, just like, just the fact that I have been posting emduo art approximately 12 times a day for the past three years. Not even getting into the fact that one of those creators is dead. Like. That's gonna be a little weird to come across in the abstract, if you are a person with a friendship, seeing this friendship be like someone's blog theme. Multiple blog themes. The hashtag updates hourly.

Like I'm sure fandom is flattering, but also, there is undoubtedly a point where someone is like 'oh wait, so your entire hobby is about these characters that have my name? Like you spend hours a day on this? You have art up?" And then they go Oh Dear.

Which is why I think it's just so much greater for everyone if we keep our little derangement in fandom-specific corners of the internet and do not throw it into the creator's face. At all. Even the harmless stuff! Do not TTS about your fanfic! Sharing fan art and cosplay in the designated fan art channel— awesome. Inviting creators into your fandom group chat— boy. Can we not. As much as I am like man I could probably reach so many people, I probably should not promo fandom events in the philza discord! The actual guy is there, saying "here people can request gifts made for them about you" is gonna be weird.

There's just— there's a thing on twitter right now where this artist was making music and videos in a created world with characters, all very dreamlike and artistic, based in their childhood. And because it's the internet, someone wrote/drew NSFW of these characters. And because the internet is the way it is now, people were finding, searching out NSFW content to send it to the creator, presumably so they could take it down?

And I know these people had good intentions, however much I think that they're wrong, but I would argue that sending someone porn of characters based on you/on your kidfic is pretty close to harassment? Like do not show them that stuff. Come on. But the 'tattle to the creator' mentality was too strong.

And the creator, unsurprisingly, did not deal well with this! And then in what I think is a mistake, they have put together a team of people and a google form so that you can report if you find inappropriate or offensive content with their characters and the team will presumably try to copyright strike it. Which. Uh. Again. Is a whole horrible boundaries discourse, is going to lead to witch hunts, and I'm not sure about the legal success of copyright striking fan art and fanfic ANYWAYS.

But like this could have been avoided if instead of going "the creators need to know about this Bad Stuff" people just blocked and moved on. And I think so much more of modern fandom would take a step towards health if we could put more of a creator/fandom separation in place.

Like when I think back to the heyday of DSMP fandom and how these creators— many of them underage— were getting people sending them porn of themselves/their characters, to tattle. Oh look isn't this dark fic too dark. Look how horrible this gore is. This is borderline shipping. People were sending Phil's mods stuff tagged as QPR, because they couldn't get to Phil but he clearly so desperately needed to know this, so that he could condemn it as too close to shipping? Because that is respectful and a great idea?

And like this ranges from stuff where I'm like bro, he doesn't need to know that (small /neg, about stuff that isn't a big dealt), to bro, he doesn't need to know that (LARGE /neg, stop sending the creators porn), because like, okay, yes, you have correctly identified that this would be weird to have happen to you/to a character based on you. What you are missing here is that unless you want to usher in an era of insane copyright overreach that would make disney's lawyers ascend to a higher plane and also kill transformative fandom, there is effectively very little way to stop most of the bad stuff. Those characters are out there, people get to do what they want with them, no matter how much it's in poor taste. All you're doing when you show creators the bad stuff is making them look at stuff that is going to be unpleasant and they can't stop. So, y'know, harassment?

And even the good stuff— I know how to behave myself and act cool in public spaces the creators are in, but if they were to see the full depths of how much of my brain space is taken up by the blocks, I'm sure they'd kinda be left going hahaha you what????? Tomathy Innit was struck speechless by a single person doing a video essay analyzing L'manberg. I see that energy on the dash from dozens of mutuals every damn DAY.

Just like, man. Fandom is just a lot to shove at creators, and if they want to step in willingly that's fine, but I really think we should be so so so cautious about throwing them in bodily when they didn't ask for it. Do not rec family dynamic fics to tommy in his youtube comments. Do not tell tubbo to scroll his hashtag on tumblr. Stop telling Phil about your fanfiction in TTS. I"M SURE THE POSTING YOU ARE ALL THINKING OF IS FINE IN TERMS OF TECHNICAL WEIRD STUFF, but like— even the good stuff! Even the good stuff is a lot! "I was having a bad day but I watched some videos with the friendship in it and now I'm okay" is just a lot to drop on someone! Can we allow creators/writers/musicians/actors/authors to opt into this stuff, and not shove it at them?

And for the love of all things good stop sending people porn of themselves.

[howlingday]

Taiyang: So you want to be a Harem Protag, huh?

Jaune, confused: No, not really?

Taiyang: Too bad, The Fandom is making you one.

---------------------------------------------------

RWBY Harem Protag

Supplemental Form

So, you've finally got the nerve to ask that cool drink of water you've been sweet on and she finally talked back? Your childhood friend, whom you haven't seen in ten years (according to the fics), has just come back into town and you're already getting along like you never separated. And your big sister has taken to cooking you some wholesome American Canadian lunchboxes full of jelly donuts, hash browns, and mashed potatoes croissants, maple syrup, and poutine. You're probably feeling pretty good about yourself, huh?

NOW STOP.

Because you've found yourself in a dangerous situation that has spelled disaster for many young men like yourself across this great kingdom of ours. You are now the protagonist of a HAREM ANIME, and if you don't act quickly, it could destroy your entire life.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "How could this possibly be a bad thing? Girls chasing after me left and right? Who could be unhappy about that?" You could, son, because your life is now in a state of karmic imbalance.

For every bit of fortune you experience with the opposite sex, there will be equal misfortune in everything else. You must prepare yourself for a string of disasters that could ruin your life and enough accidental sexual misconduct to start your own hashtag.

By the way, you better be taking notes on this because odds are that you're fucking dense as fuck, and probably the worst fucking character ever written.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DO NOT PANIC.

This is especially important for you because if you do panic, you're gonna end up stripping or groping someone. The laws of the universe itself are now conspiring to have as many female friends of yours to end up naked in front of you as humanly possible.

It's like Murphy's Law; what can go wrong will go wrong, and anything that can go wild will go wild.

Practice your balance and maintain awareness of your surroundings, especially behind you. If not, someone will bump into you and then your hand ends up down her skirt and your face goes into her tits and then there will be a second girl behind you for you to bump your face into her ass. You might think you can avoid this by never going outside, but if you do, all of your female friends will converge on your location to make sure you're okay.

One will arrive first and the second will arrive just in time to find you both in a compromising and erotic position after you stumble into the first girl while trying to be a good host and getting her some donuts and Canadian beer. This happens every time, without fail.

Don't bother asking your parents for help. They've already fucked off to another kingdom and threw away their scrolls.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

REMEMBER YOUR ABCs.

AWARENESS. BALANCE. CLENCHED FISTS.

You can't strip or grope someone if your hand isn't open. However, this will result in you punching a lot of tits.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IDENTIFY YOUR HAREM.

Utilizing the prior form, you can identify your harem members by the "Tropes" they exhibit. These tropes will determine their entire personalities. These tropes will graviate to the most boring fucking character in the series, that's you by the way, and will be drawn to your complete lack of character or personality like magnets to a pole.

The first trope to identify is the "Tsundere," who will appear as a cold front that gets warmer over time. This shifting in personality will be the one responsible for the most change in your harem. There is always, at minimum, on tsundere present, though scientists are still unsure as to why. You can easily identify the tsundere by her iconic catchphrase, "It's not because I like you, b-baka." You can also identify her by her being a massive fucking bitch to you, like, all the fucking time. In fact, don't forget to guard your head as most harem protagonists receive some form of massive head trauma as a result of a tsundere retaliation, which results in failure to read social cues or MAKING UP THEIR FUCKING MINDS FOR THE LOVE OF REMNANT JESUS!

However, this danger pales in comparison to the second trope to be aware of, the "Yandere". You can compare the yandere to a tornado, as she will absolutely fuck shit up around her in her attempt to keep you at the center of her world. You can identify her by her too sweet smile or by calling you a pet name like "darling" even though she knows your real name. If you find yourself in this scenario, you only have one option: RUN! AND RUN FAST! You will need to fake your death, move to another kingdom (preferably on a different continent), and assume a new identity there. If you require help, please do not hesitate to view the prior film in this series, "SO YOU THINK YOU'RE A NIKOS?"

Encounters with yandere girls are rare, but once again, because you are the absolute fucking worst person to have ever been brought into this world, the yandere will naturally gravitate to you by shifting from one of the other tropes in your harem because you decided to do something fucking stupid and childish like you always fucking do, you fucking stupid child.

There are other tropes that may enter your harem, ranked in order of the danger they pose to your life.

The "Sadodere" named so for their sadistic tendencies, are the most likely to harm you to derive pleasure for themselves. This can be good fun between consenting adults in a controlled environment with a safe word, but in your day-to-day life it will only cause problems for you. On her own, the sadodere is an annoyance, but her tendency to lie and manipulate others around her can amplify the dangers that may occur in a harem system. Fortunately, the sadodere is easy to identify the instant she stops acting nice, so keep your distance once this happens (unless you're into that), and if any other girls are mad at you, ask the sadodere if she was involved in one way or another, then ask her to clear things up once she fesses up that she did.

(Note: Image of Gillian Asturias not found. Backup himedere image posted in her place.)

The "Himedere", also known as "oujo" or "princess" is almost as arrogant and demanding as the sadodere with the exception that she's not likely to cover her facade with sweetness. You can spot a himedere from a mile way by her haughty demeanor, but if you're unsure, which let's be real you are, you can also identify them by their signature vocal call.

OOOOOOHOHOHOHO~!

In the early development stages of a harem, the himedere stubbornness may prove troublesome. However, she is unlikely to be prone to violence like the tsundere, so your only concern is any servants she may have under her employ, all of whom are likely retired assassins in some branch or another. You'd honestly be surprised by how many hitmen make the jump to domestic servitude.

Next, we have the "genki girl," also known as the Deredere. Warm and sunny, but still quite chaotic. You can identify her by her interests in things like "sportsball" or her cheery, comforting smile. She is the least dangerous of the tropes EXCEPT in the vicinity of the tsundere in which her oblivious, good-natured affection will likely get you punched. REPEATEDLY. There is a possibility the deredere is secretly a yandere, so watch out for tell-tale signs such as use of the word "brave and fearless leader" and frequent disappearances of cats and other small animals when she is near.

Finally, the "Kuudere", literally translating to "cool dere", and "Dandere" are quiet and mostly stick to themselves, one from detachment and lack of emotion with the other out of shyness. Both can be identified by their general lack of speech. When approached, a kuudere will respond cynically and pragmatically, while a dandere will respond by blushing and stammering. Neither pose a substantial threat, though it is advised you check on the kuudere once per day just to make sure she's not dead.

There are further variations of these tropes you may encounter, including the drunken older harlot "Yottadere" and the "Kanedere" who want your money. However, it is highly unlikely that your harem will include either of these two, and if it does, they won't really matter.

By and large, 99% of harems include the girls listed prior on this list, all with just slightly different hair colors and styles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It should be noted that your sister, either younger or older, may be involved in the goings-on of your harem, even showing signs that match one of these tropes. She may appear as the deredere, kuudere, or the tsundere. This used to be a rare occurrence, but in the recent decades, it has become much more common. Modern scientists are blaming global climate, but regardless of the cause, if this happens to you, you only need to follow one simple rule, one key thing above all else...

(Flip to side B)

[whispsofwind]

WHEN WILL THE DISNEY CINDERELLA SLANDER END

It's just - such a silly pet peeve of mind, I know I know it's an animated Disney Princess from a movie that's so old MY PARENTS were not born yet. I just - I really love her ok, and all criticism I've seen directed at the movie and her character just misses the point entirely.

Like, no she didn't just sit there "waiting to be saved". She didn't EXPECT to be saved at all. We are talking about a young girl who was a victim of severe emotional and financial abuse since childhood, and possibly physical abuse as well. The movie doesn't specify her age when her father dies but she looks about 8 to 10 years old to me? And she is supposedly 19 in the movie, which means at least 9 years of abuse. She's a victim trying to keep her head out of the water and maybe get one precious magical night of fun. She has no job, no education past childhood, no money, how in the world was she supposed to leave?

(And also she doesn't SIT ON HER ASS WAITING, SHE IS SASSY AND KIND AND WHEN SHE GET TRAPPED IN THE TOWER SHE SCREAMS AND GRABS THE DOOR AND SHE IS TRYING IT'S JUST A SITUATION SO MUCH BIGGER THAN HER OK AND SHE WORKD HER ASS OFF FOR THAT PARTY OK).

And the newest piece of criticism I just read "it doesn't show her looking for a support system which is how most victims of abuse can get help" therefore bad.

This infuriates me because the funny thing is, the 1950's Disney movie is actually VERY careful about not showing Cinderella going out of the house except for the ball. Outside of that one night, she is always inside the property. Sometimes she goes out into the garden, and that's IT. The only person she interacts with outside of the family is the castle messanger and it's very brief. It's not a stretch to suppose that that's normal for her: groceries could be delivered directly to her doorsteps without the need of much interaction. What was she supposed to do, grab a random person she doesn't know and ask for help when she has been conditioned by years of abuse to not speak up?

And EVEN THEN, she does build a support system with her animal friends, who are instrumental to her getting out of the abusive situation: they finish her dress to help her get to the ball and then THEY BRING HER THE KEY WHICH ALLOWS HER TO GET OUT OF THE TOWER AND THEREFORE OUT OF THE ABUSIVE SITUATION SHE WAS TRAPPED IN. WHAT ELSE COULD YOU ASK FROM A FRIEND WHO DOESN'T HAVE MONEY OR A HOME EITHER.

Anyway hashtag justice for 1950 Cinderella she did the best she could and she doesn't deserve the victim blaming she gets

(And also Ever After remains the best live action Cinderella the scene where Danielle begs, BEGS her stepmother to tell her that she loved Danielle, even once, even just a little bit, is perfection and heartbreaking)

[blacktoothcomics]

YOU CAN CLICK THE TAGS BELOW TO FIND THINGS I HAVE WRITTEN &/OR CURATED FROM OTHER USERS IN REBLOGS. 8D neet.

because i am SH*T at remembering things, here is a masterpost chat and contacts list (only mutuals can respond and reblog, safety first chickadees!) :

@blacktoothcomics -- ezra, he/they. unemployed and officially disabled. i share a town incredibly accidentally with jason mewes, like sold the man groceries during covid and had a fun little chat; certain now that kimmie's ghost has been watching over me.

@clearlyafandomblog -- rae, ezra's very strong wife. internet curation and social justice. extrovert. icon. genius. i lose all my grammar when i am around her. turned the proudest man you know into a simp. settled this bachelor. adopted this hobo. holder of ezra's lifedebt, but firstly and foremostly a loyal comrade.

@cuppa-decaf -- jeff, may or may not be pretending to be 15 again with ezra, they were well past age 21 whenever they drank together in public but it was still good anarcho fun to play chicken with the cop under the fireworks that night.

@silentlia -- silent, she/her. super groovy author, illustrator and social theorist that ezra met on roleplay repository dot com. excellent taste in wrestling theater, cultural migrant awareness, and games both video and tabletop alike.

@gracelithorizon -- the comic collaboration between ezra and silent, for free to everyone to enjoy or ignore at your leisure! (please share any similar projects of your own, if you wanna contribute blog curation or make requests and changes to this masterlist also, or do none of that cos im not ur parents)

@bettie-jettatura -- bettie, she/her. childhood cousin (?) to jeff and teenhood chum to ezra. no beatnik movement would be complete without a bettie, and that's all i'm gonna say about [redacted] with the body in that factory down [redacted] street, lmao, you know the one.

@anurognathusvilheimium -- vilheimie!! kermit noodle arms flappy yayyy dot gif!! a beleaguered STEM professional living in chemical-train-crash-noxious-fumes country. doing his best at all times and deserving of as much vacation as you could possibly give.

to get list:

vilheim, he could use some goofiness poor mans working with factory town republicans

marissa, for obvious reasons

reggie if he's down for only strictly clowning (no bad vibes allowed, no music supremacy)

oh, melee!!

and peanut.

AND WHERE IS BRENNAN MI BOIIY

codeine + crew, possibly

and anyone YOU people think would enjoy dumb radical performance art in a supportive and science-positive everything-ology interest group. to be taken as seriously or as stupidly as you wanna, baybee, ezra had to smoke a lot of weed to be comfortable typing in the third person (but that's just, like, creative journalistic formatting shh it's fiiine)

yell @ ppl here! message me (blacktoothcomics, ezra) to get your user or blog name added to my follow / mutuals and thus tagged access to reply in this post. i have to know you irl to list you here, sorry!

[thatdesklamp]

A general list of more irl-ish things about me that I think I’ve mentioned in comments or here on tumblr, so most people are on the same page, if anyone would actually like to know:

I think it’s very funny when people call me ‘thatdesklamp’ (it’s just so goofy) buutt you can also call me the real person name of Maggie if you would prefer

I chose my username the same way Billie Eilish chose her old Instagram username (old reference I know) (I literally looked at my old desk and was like, ok bet there’s the branding done)

I live in England rahhh (though I am not a rah I promise ok)

I’m currently a uni student and am a #woman in stem (hashtag is required) (once again, the phrase is so funny to me, I will always say it) (#steminist)

I have an A Level in English Lit and therefore will not shut up about it

I am a fervent hater of ‘Atonement’ by Ian McEwan (sorry Ian)

I’m not straight! Hence the silvermist pfp and the ‘yes she was my favourite character’ pun in my bio. It started off as a joke but I do not actually know whether the joke lands or not so I felt I should clarify.

I’ve been writing for years—pre-Ao3, I wrote many tens of thousands of words of essentially a Zuko x reader (from a:tla, sigh). It was very very bad and will never see the light of day. But it also got me back into writing! I look back on with the same awkward affection that you feel when you see childhood videos of yourself being a bit of a tit.

[fappellmoan]

hi everyone this feels wildly self centered and silly but i made a guide to my dyke drama/lore that i talk about in barely coded but convoluted terms. i love internet safety. doing this at the request of exactly one person and for the rest of u it's under the cut if youre curious and feel so inclined hashtag close friends <3 i highlighted my previous ways of referring to these people and important notes bc otherwise i just rambled soooo bad <3 and as much as im maybe romanticizing in some ways here i do genuinely care for and love (most of) these people outside of my weirdofreak brain and try my best to do well by them in our relationships. and maybe i just wanted to write beautiful things about my friends whatever

lydia: they're on here we met on here and now we're roommates. we met bc we were two of the only bitches posting in the muna tag and she was brave enough to reply to my one naomi video. and i was like um ok... FREAK.. and then yk we were mutuals but i was always paranoid they'd somehow know film girl or my roommates (or just. other ppl) bc i was being insane so that was awk but then i had a mental breakdown a little bit one night on here about my childhood and decorating for holidays and they offered to meet on campus and give me some leaves for my window and i was like aww (and we used them this year to decorate our shared apartment :')) and i remember i was wearing my black and white sweatshirt that i wore to go see dan live that ive since given away i think but it feels like. a sign u know.. or whatever.. and we do have mutual friends in weird circles including one that connects to steve (see later notes) so it's like chances are we couldve met in person but this just made it really special. we beef bad. but with sooo much love. and i do think we're better for knowing each other or whatever...

film girl: this was bad. i have a tag dedicated to anything i remembered to tag as part of the saga but it was so bad and beyond anything words can say... i'd give her another name but she could never be anything but film girl. it's like if u were there u know. if u weren't... let's just say i was crazy insane mentally ill bonkers jeff buckley lover you shouldve come over i know it's over. maroon 5 even about it. bad. but consider she leaned into me like she did her bf for their first kiss, said our night together when we went to our friend's party where she had dressed up as jennifer check (i showed her the movie it was a whole thing) and danced with me and talked right against my neck and grabbed onto me while walking and said she was maybe bi and i deserved someone really nice and im so swaggy etc and then going back to her place and making me food and watching himym on the floor (oct. 21st u will go down in herstory...) made her the 'happiest person in the world,' stayed over at my apartment until the following morning more than once, unwrapped her bruised hand and held it out to me to see/touch (absolute freaks moment like kill me actually. and that was the day i perioded myself. to use pj of bottoms' terms.) was just generally engaging in psychosexual warfare with me all the time. and we didn't even fuck. or kiss. and she had a boyfriend. who looked like a girlfriend (not that i personally had in february of last year but regardless..) i mean come on she was a straight woman she wasnt even allowed to say slay.. i genuinely still think we need to kill each other but it doesn't matter. how is she still linked to my life? well. we had a class this semester with steve and stede and lydia and scully (prof im in love with. this name is hilar), sort of friends with cool artsy queer girl group (hometown friends, one her best friend i almost met up with at muna concert (with her) one who looks a bit like jackie kennedy. ok not really but that's the one my one friend josh (woman) made out with last semester), had a class with steve and sam last semester with dave, our shared prof that steve told details of our first date and etc to.

steve: this is gonna be ex situationship from beginning of this semester - mid october. gets this name bc they're obsessed w that pirate show so like stede but i simply wont name them that and at this point im annoyed enough w their taste in things that steve feels fitting. anyway. was genuinely very kind and sweet but also got clingy soo fast and we were on very different pages. we'd met last fall (when they had a gf) and worked together on sets and in a couple classes, they kind of got caught up in my triangulation of desire for jane at her birthday party.. and i had fun flirting! um and they were genuinely again very very considerate and sweet but like. seemed to struggle to have a personality outside of their ex and maybe their siblings a bit. idk. just very passive. sowwy. also they were not a very good kisser. i do remember back in may being vindicated bc they also commented on film girl and bf

jane: naming her jane in a gay way. a jane austen way. in that i think we should write lifelong love letters to each other. holy shit shut up. so this is always 'friend im in love with' or 'a little in love with' or whatever. she is also girl with cool short hair and piercings and tattoos and a bookbag with tits on it so god forbid my infatuation. and i just love her voice and i think she's brilliant and so good at what she does and all around just like an awesome person she inspires me to be better and whatever. and she always dresses so cool and used to host house shows (i still never made it to one) (film girl did once) and when we first started talking we were at a film event and were supposed to be networking or whatever but instead we stood by the drinks together and talked abt how we both wanted to be friends in our writing class but never said it and thought the other hated each other a little bit but we were both just awkward and so we'd always make eye contact and laugh and banter together in class and i rlly was just in love with her. and this summer was crazyyy we were on steve's set together and i was a little freak just so obviously enamored with her but the thing is she was obnoxious too so i didnt even feel like a loser. she asked me to massage her arms once and said my half assed attempt was lame and we leg wrestled (also w steve. kinda funny. like yeah u would) and exchanged drunk stories and she said i needed better ones and then i beat her at stack cup at her bday and gave her her card and she hugged me and her lips were wet from the beer she just drank from and right on my arm and i was like wow. her kingdom (surrounded by people who she loved and loved her) for a kiss upon my shoulder. if u will. and i had to have a middle school Look Away moment bc she stripped in front of a few of us that night and i was far too intoxicated to not like lose my mind. also she was supposed to give me a book on set once but never did and im still bummed. and one random night she texted asking if id found a place to live and when i answered she never followed up and i still wonder what that was abt. if anything. um but she does have a boyfriend of like 5 or 6 years. from high school. the worst part is hes a semi cool dude but it's just like really. let her fuck a woman! just once even! jk they are both genuinely cool people first and i think it's great they found each other in this life. but also like fuck off ugh. yk. not to romanticize my life and friendships i just think in another life we were soulmates or maybe in a way we are now. but we also only knew each other for a brief time so maybe something else. we could've done backstreets

sam: friend i just mentioned recently who has a crazy name we shant get into it. i do have a different actual friend named sam but i havent seen her in forever. so i met them working on steve's senior film set and thought they were cool and they were one of the only ones to make it out to our post-wrap dinner/drinks and then we had two classes together this semester. and so we became sort of allies we'd meet up to go to the museum together and send each other the attendance and i went to see fnaf when he rented out a theater for a huge group lol and he helped on my film which meant a lot even if it was only for a bit cause of you know. the everything that was going on. with steve and etc. it wasnt easy to get there so like bless their heart. they also came up with the name for my film and we had that moment around the fire and well i do hope i'll continue to see them just as a friend even, and they're genuinely just the coolest they do a lot of drag and character/costume design and are genuinely just one of the funniest most down to earth ppl i know and they always have the coolest fucking outfits and hats and shit and omg they looked so good in their doc. just something abt the posture and the whimsy and the earnestness and look overall. woah. um when we were on steve's set my friend jackie leaned over and said 'i thought they were film girl for a second' so basically i need to redacted. but it's not like that bad of a resemblance. once again has a partner cause im cursed forever to sleep on a twin size mattress maybe or whatever. i havent even listened to that song more than like once but maybe it is real for me. anyway they were also in the class with steve and film girl with dave.

stede: im sorry this is so funny to me bc this person and steve go by the same name irl but spelled differently or whatever. we met and had a very energetic chat in the hallway at the beginning of this semester jim thought we knew each other lol. they're real cute and endearing and like i said kind of give butch. and we had two classes together but i had so much shit going on man i just. yeah. seemed like they were maybe a little into me but whatever. and well i think we should have a fling but who said that

jim: my buddy prof he's my buddy :-) he helped me so much sophomore spring as i was trying rlly hard to produce our class films and insane already over film girl (he didnt know that but it was omnipresent) and so close to dropping out and is just the coolest guy. he's a little bit like a father figure what who said that. i remind him of his youngest daughter a lot and ive lived in the same buildings as his older one. so just funny connections. i go to his office hours and such a lot with the film friends

grace: one of my film friends. (i just realized i do know a girl in film named grace but it's not her so anyway.) i am in awe of the way she commits to stuff and motivates people around her. she is just so game for anything to make the best of a situation. shes studying abroad this semester so ive only seen her on video chats/texted and missed the one day she came back for her bf's bday. well and she was the friend who said 'no he can keep himself busy' when we went to go see x together so she didnt make me hang out w her not even lame bf at first which was so nice. cause then i eventually actually did want to meet him. and theyre the least annoying couple ive ever met. and shes bi <3

jackie: another film friend. also love her dearly another stoner so we'd smoke together before class sometimes and just went on a walk with our other friend one night around the woods and stuff that was fun. i usually refer to grace and jackie collectively as 'the film friends.' we met in that spring of sophomore year (same class as film girl and jim). this one did have steve produce her senior film after they said they wouldn't work on mine bc of the ""situation"" i was a little sour that was an awkward um situation but it's whatever. i sometimes say film friends and mean a larger group of these ppl/a few extended but whatever

frank: ive just called him frank hes frank hes the coolest dude in the world i think everyone would be obsessed with him and i just think like man hes lived such a life. he's my short cool professor whos just so good at what he does. he's met so many people and done so many things. his van is so him he has a suction cup to pull his windows up in the winter and random albums in the front seat. im gonna try to work w him next semester. i was in that van last night feeling like i was in a gta level to go pick up pizza for our final class.

scully: my film comedy and tv analysis professor she is so everything to me... she loves women and evil women and gay people and camp and horror and comedy and tv and sex and just weirdo freak shit and shes so intelligent and quick on her feet and charming and just. an amazing lecturer. she said be gay do violence once. i felt seen. she said she used to pull her friends (favorite characters) out of the tv and carry them around in her pocket and i knew she understood... she saw bottoms and emailed me and lydia right away. and she's seen willow. and ofc so many other things. and she'll go 'this seems like the type of person/film/etc that you would be inspired by..' OK QUEEN I LOVE U. i want to do cocaine with her. huh. im taking gender and film with her next semester :333 im so excited

claire: friend from high school friend group who ended up ditching me and our other friend a lot that one summer and we almost lived together and we're just always kinda weird around each other but we were some of the only ppl the other hung out with fall semester 2020 so like.

drake and josh: i almost always refer to them together they're codependent a little bit roommates and i love them dearly and i met them thru claire sophomore year but ive hung out with them alone and stayed at their place when i got too drunk and that night i fell down the stairs. me and drake act a little homoerotic sometimes for fun. i cried at dinner over film girl once to her it was embarrassing. i miss going hammocking with them <3

dave: i had him last fall he's really cool he got me on a shoot w the mayor (and steve and jane) and was so cool about me not ocming to class a lot bc i kept in touch w him and hes my homie. film girl had a class w him then too and then last semester was the like news class that crew had together. and steve told dave all abt our first date and etc and got date ideas from him and i was like oh wow... ok lol

couch: couch roommate. theyre not relevant in my life enough to make a name but the couch story was stupid as hell and this one also left ground beef in the sink that one time and had a thing for a rugby girl that steve had a little fling with

jean: if i say 'one of my masc gfs' i probably mean them. sort of friends with couch like she was in my apartment once last year but um. yeah. had a crush on them for like a month at one point and we follow each other on insta and talked when we saw each other on campus the first time and thats like it. chances r ill forget abt this fake name and still just throw that in if i ever see her

[kominion-worlds]

hey everyone.

i’m kominion and i make electronic music. i’m not sure how to define it, as i’m notoriously bad with genres (and hashtags, & many other things). but if you like porter robinson, jai wolf, madeon, or certain vocaloid producers, i might just be your new fav. if not, i hope to talk to you anyway.

for the longest time, i tried to be sound like every other artist i idolized. porter robinson specifically, because he makes beautiful music that touches something in my soul, and honestly, i can relate 1000% to his mental health struggles. but i can only be me, and porter is someone whose work inspired me to be as open and honest as i can with my own music.

which brings me to artifact, an album that is at least 7 years in the making. what began as a sci-fi concept album first conceived while listening to porter & madeon’s shelter became an intensely personal journey through my childhood trauma, something i wasn’t even aware that i had until it was brought up in therapy and i began to process it as an adult.

and against all odds, artifact would thankfully not leave me alone. even through my adhd habits, periods of procrastination, depression, a short stint in alcoholism, a toxic relationship, my notorious inability to finish most things i start, and the death of my prior laptop. it kept calling my back.

now, i’m thankful to say that in just one day’s time, it will be here. i hope you keep an open mind and heart and give it a chance, but more than that, i hope you give yourselves a chance.

you’re worthy. you’re beautiful. your emotions, experiences, and identities are valid. know that the one thing you’ll always have to fight hardest against in this world is yourself and your own perceived limitations. you’re more than you might think you are, and most importantly, you’re enough. remember that. 💜  

you can check out my music & socials below ;]

https://linktr.ee/kominion

[sipipu]

"Well, hello there" (Pt.3)

P.s: I created a separate hashtag for fanfiction to make it easier for you to find it on my blog.

Geno was not afraid of anything.

Perhaps he was one of the few who rarely feared anything. He is not afraid to make serious decisions that can affect his life, he was not afraid to bear the burden of responsibility for his actions or words spoken. In this regard, he was fearless, although he hid the fact that he was scared to hell of mice and rats.

I would say that he is used to living so confidently in himself and in his choices. He is not used to making mistakes and forgiving himself for them. Self-criticism is his best friend and companion, who has served him for many, many years.

In order to achieve something, he always prepared in advance. If it was necessary to make sure that he got the highest score in a subject that he did not know well, he would do everything for that. To negotiate with the teachers? Buy ready-made answers? Get a nerd to write a test for him? Easy. His tongue was boneless. Or maybe he needed to deal with someone? For example, to stand up for the brothers? He doesn't see any problems either.

He didn't see a problem at all to do something that was beneficial to him. But, you know? There are "buts" everywhere. And even Geno had them.

One of those "buts" is happening right now. He was looking at the screen of his push-button clamshell phone, rereading the text message he had written. There was nothing so serious or scary in this message, just the usual friendly greeting. "But" for some reason, Genno reread this message 100 times, checked for spelling errors, paraphrased this unfortunate SMS and still could not send it.

The song "Steine Sind Steine - And One" was playing softly in his room, and things were scattered here and there again. The window was wide open for ventilation, so Geno was wrapped in a warm blanket. Music in his native language made him relax and immerse himself in the memories of his childhood. But now it was so inappropriate!

Taking a deep breath, he erased the text message and put the phone away from harm, so as not to think about it anymore. He decided that he should take a walk through the streets, and go to the grocery store and buy a pack of cigarettes.

After changing into street clothes, he closed the window and left the room, locking it with a key out of habit. Geno lived alone in a two-story house. He once lived here with his brothers and their mother, but over the years the house slowly emptied. First, my mother left, moving to their native country and deciding to build a great career there. Don't think about it, their mom wasn't a bad woman, she was just very single-minded. She often came to them and sent them some gifts, as well as money. Guenon never condemned her choice, on the contrary, he supported her, although he understood the burden of responsibility that fell on him. After his mother, Error left the house. After graduating from high school, he got involved in a not very good group of guys. He hadn't heard much about them, to be honest, Error had never been verbose when it came to his personal life. When Error left home, he kept in touch with Geno for a while, but later disappeared completely. The last time they were written off was about two years ago, when Error told him that he had enrolled in college as a designer somewhere in another part of the country. Well, the youngest in their family, Fresh, was the last to leave the house. To be honest, Geno never worried about his future. Not to say that he didn't care about him, but he always knew that whatever path Fresh chose, it would always be good for him. They also wrote off and called each other very often. It made Geno exhale. No matter how confident he was in him, Fresh always had a windy head, and before he needed an eye and an eye. Now, as far as Geno understood, Fresh graduated from DJ courses, and now travels all over the country, gaining experience, communicating with a lot of people and, of course, arranging concerts and creating music.

They rarely saw each other together. Mom came only on calendar holidays, Fresh looked in on him if he was somewhere nearby, and Error never came after leaving at all.

Walking along the familiar streets, Geno remembered what to buy from the groceries and what to cook for dinner. He loved cooking, but it was a burden for him to buy food every time. Most of all, he liked to bake something sweet, especially in autumn, like now, or in winter.

Going into a familiar grocery store, he bought everything he needed, while knocking out a favorable discount for some products. Everything about money was treated with special attention. He didn't buy anything extra, he always took what was more profitable for the money. And for good change, he could buy sweets, cigarettes or a new CD with music.

Speaking of music, a new album by his favorite rock band was recently released, and, deciding that now was a good reason, he headed to a record store where CDs were sold. Of course, now that the Internet was taking advantage in many ways, he could just copy some music, but it was the discs that gave him special pleasure and aesthetics.

Entering the music store, he looked through the numerous shelves, looking for what he needed. Some pleasant instrumental was playing in the background. Most likely from some popular song that Geno didn't know. Geno looked into the pop music section for the sake of interest. Of course, most of them were filled with newfangled boy bands, or rappers. He was ready to twist his ears, or go deaf on purpose, so that he would never hear these two genres. Maybe this kind of music gave pleasure to someone, but definitely not to him.

- Wow, what kind of people are in Hollywood.

Geno started when someone suddenly spoke to him. He almost dropped the disc and, after making sure that everything was in order, he looked at the person who spoke to him. And what was his surprise when he saw a familiar face. It was a Rapper, his own fucking person. Only he didn't look quite familiar, he was wearing a white T-shirt with the store's logo, and under it a gray turtleneck. But otherwise, there were familiar outlines of his style: massive boots, not too wide jeans, chains, as well as gloves on his hands.

- Hey, - Geno replied, turning to him - Do you work here?

- No, I'm just stealing music, nothing unusual, - Reaper was holding a box with a bunch of CDs in his hands. He put it on the floor, starting to sort it on the shelf.

- It doesn't look like you stole it. Rather, you just return it, - Geno grinned as he watched him.

- Pop music is stolen only by posers.

- True.

They were in each other's silent company for a while longer. Sometimes Reaper asked Geno something, to which he received a dry and not very verbose answer.

- Are you saying you want to buy a CD?

- Aha.

- Give me a couple of minutes, go to the checkout and wait for me there.

Geno just nodded. He carefully walked around the Reaper and went to the cash register, holding a CD with some band. To be honest, when Geno saw him, he immediately forgot why he came here and what he wanted to buy. He couldn't even imagine that his new friend could work in such a place. He was more imagining some more thematic places where he could be a consultant. Or even work as an undertaker. After fantasizing a little more, Geno noticed that the Rapper had already approached the counter, including the cash register. Reaper reached out to take the disc, and Geno handed it to him. He glanced at the title, copying it, it seems, into the computer, and then he abruptly returned his gaze to the disk, shifting a mocking glance at Geno, returning the disk.

- "Sweet Boys"? - It was obvious from him that he was holding back his laughter.

Geno didn't understand what he meant at first, and look at the CD he was going to buy, he was horrified to see a photo of not very good quality with half-naked 20-year-old men and the name of the band. "Sweet Boys". Goddamn it.

Okay, okay. He'll just apologize, say that he chatted with him and quickly find what he needed.

- Yes, and what's the problem?

Why the hell would he say that?

Reaper looked at him strangely, looking for a catch in his words. But as luck would have it, Geno made the most serious expression on his face, looking confident at the same time. In his head, he asked himself why he was acting like this and literally shouted at him to make a joke of it and choose what he needed.

- You don't look like a fan of this band, - The rapper squinted and leaned against the counter, looking straight into Geno's eyes, forcing a sly smile.

- I just want to expand my musical taste, - Geno, deciding that he was deliberately provoking him into some kind of awkward situation, decided not to look away, stubbornly looking back and stood up a little more confidently - Have a problem with that? Do you judge people who listen to pop?

- No, I'm not, - Reaper grinned as he punched through the disc - That'll be $21.5, sir.

- tHaT'lL bE $21,5, SiRr, - Geno ridiculously repeated his phrase, paying off.

- Hey, I'm actually the best employee here. Be polite, sir.

- Really? As far as I know, employees at the music store do not discuss the musical preferences of customers....

- Of course, I'm deeply sorry, sir, but you wouldn't listen to such shit in your life, even for the sake of interest, - Reaper theatrically put his hand to his chest, sighing as if someone important had turned away from him.

- Hey, you don't know me, - Geno smiled, rolling his eyes and putting the disc in his backpack, where there were groceries for dinner and a pack of cigarettes.

- What if I want to get to know you better, sir?

Geno was visibly nervous. He looked at Reaper and met his attentive blue eyes. Geno felt that there was some strange implication in this phrase, and it confused him a little. He liked meeting new people, but something about Reaper didn't seem right to him.

- So what? - The rapper tilted his head slightly, continuing to look at Geno and looking very confident at the same time.

- Uh…. Ok? Good luck?

Before Reaper could say anything else or ask, Geno literally stormed out of the store. He felt embarrassed as he replayed the phrase in his head. He felt his heart beating an exciting tap dance, and he did not know whether it was from a quick step or from a strange excitement.

Stopping to catch his breath, Geno took out a new pack of cigarettes from his backpack, opening it and taking one, lighting it. He looked at his lighter and remembered that Reaper had lent it to him the last time they met. Exhaling tobacco smoke and twirling the lighter in his hand, examining it, he suddenly smiled, deciding that a new experience would not hurt him. Reaper, of course, is a little strange, but nothing, it was even good for him.

Opposites come closer, don't they?

[swanmay-that-got-away]

Fritz Leiber Was Always a Creep

I gotta hashtag cancel a dead man. I feel like I've talked about this before but I can't find the post so, shrug.

So there is this widespread idea among Sword and Sorcery fans who desperately want to reconcile their love of Leiber with the fact that he wrote some genuinely grotesque things in his books. The idea is, Leiber only wrote more pedoshit after his first wife died and his alcoholism got worse. And this isn't to say that topics like rape and child abuse and formative traumas are not things we should write about. They are, but I would submit to you, Leiber is pretty blatantly fantasizing with his self-inserts. Leiber isn't saying anything about the human condition here, or giving you an arena to contemplate your relationship with the topic. This is not Lolita, folks, this is just an old man who thinks preteens are hot.

So the refrain you always hear is "Oh Leiber really suffered from Alcoholism and his later works get really gross because of it. It's a shame because he was so great before." And I need to point out to those people that that timeline of events doesn't make sense. Leiber joined AA in 1957 or so, and there was a marked increase in his drinking in 1969 when his first wife died. Here are some of the stories he wrote during his active alcoholism:

Bazaar of the Bizarre

Lean Times in Lankhmar

Stardock

The Swords of Lankhmar

Here are some of the books he wrote during his worst drinking period:

The Snow Women

Ill Met in Lankhmar

Rime Isle

You will notice that these are all some of his best stories. Basically, if the story is good but it wasn't in Swords Against Death specifically, he wrote it while he was in his alcoholism mode. The Leiber you love is not divorceable from his alcoholism period. This is not by itself an issue. It's a disease like any other. Being an alcoholic does not make you a bad person automatically, holy shit, it makes you a person who is ill and needs assistance.

But the specific cause of the "later alcoholism = gross stories" idea comes mainly from the fact that Knight and Knave of Swords gets really pedophilic. I'm reading Swords of Lankhmar (written 20 years previous) right now, and let me tell you, it's been here the whole fucking time. Swords of Lankhmar is 1968 and Fafhrd AND Mouser are already openly wishing there were children for them to fuck. It certainly becomes more prominent in the half of the story Leiber wrote post-1969 alcoholism increase, but it was always there. Kind of like how the misogyny was always there, The Snow Women was dinosaur-tier misogynistic even by 1970 standards. He was always like this, at LEAST as early as 1962, when he retroactively decided Mouser's pedophilia was caused by a traumatic incident involving his childhood love interest dying in front of him (in the same incident that made Mouser give up magic).

Leiber was a great and influential writer to the Fantasy genre, the Pulp genre, and specifically Swords and Sorcery. He also wrote his beloved self-insert characters as pedophiles for almost 30 years. You can like the story even though it has gross parts. I think we all have favorites with gross parts. Just, let's not pretend it didn't happen, OK?

[sweetmariihs2]

Hey guys! Um.. I'm not frequently on this hashtag and just came here to adress that Melanie Martinez songs make a perfect playlist for Sun and Moon. It's been years since the release of Security Breach and still this day I never found anyone talking about that (believe me, I search everywhere from time to time in years (when my hyperfixation starts again lol)) and I'm starting to believe that if I don't say anything, no one will. So umm yeah I don't want to make a big post I just wanna point it out

If you're here in Tumblr and you're interacting with fandoms for a really long time you probably heard at least one of her songs before. Basically for those interested she makes songs with childish aesthetics and serious themes. Her most recent album is more fairycore though, but the first ones aren't.

She has an album called Cry Baby (it's about a disturbed childhood), an album called K-12 (it's about school), and an EP called After School (inspired by school themes but more inspired in the artist's life) and they fit Sun and Moon very well

Also I wanted to add that some of her best gems are unreleased, and like, there are some really good stuff that fit Sun and Moon, you just need to search for it

The songs that fit them most are the first ones of the list, the rest is more like,,, they fit them well but not like the first ones ya know what i mean

That's my mini list of recomendations if anyone is interested;

(if you're going to make a playlist for YouTube be careful with the unreleased ones, Melanie tends to delete them from time to time):

Unreleased- Twins (this one sounds like it was made for them. Want me to put all the lyrics here? Okay then.)

Unreleased- Toy Chest ("clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere" (it's from Barney))

Unreleased- Arts and Crafts (creating the perfect bf on arts and crafts)

Released- Glued (she's sad and talking about how her sadness is glued to her like school glue)

Unreleased- Night Mime (she's sad and silent during the night like a night mime. She's waiting for the sunrise so that she can be happy again)

Released- Tag, You're It (she's being chased by a big bad wolf while making analogy to a tag game. It sounds like a little childhood game but the chaser is very sinister and want to do bad things to her)

Released- Teddy Bear (this one fits the whole franchise. Her "teddy bear" (probably a metaphor for an important person in her life, maybe her boyfriend or best friend) was sweet to her before, now he's trying to kill her. "You were my teddy bear, you were comforting and quiet, how did love become so violent?". This was released in 2015, if you're here in the fnaf fandom for a really long time or in the whole fandom part of the internet by itself you know this one. It brings me a lot of memories. How I miss the 2010's)

Released- Sippy Cup (you can try to hide your problems but they're always there. "Blood still stains if the sheets are washed". Even if you always try to keep the lights on, that animatronic killed kids inside the daycare and it can happen again if the lights go out. Oh-oh :c

Released- Carousel (you proably heard this one before let's be real)

Released- Drama Club (theatre!!! Yay)

Released- Show And Tell (She's tired, as an artist, of always playing a character in front of everyone. It's the ventrilocus noises for me)

Released- The Contortionist (idk it's the vibe)

Unreleased- Schizo ("i don't know who you are 'cause I don't know who i am, how can we learn how to love if you change your mind again? I don't know who to be, who do you want me to be?")

Released- Alphabet Boy (a rude boy is telling her how much smarter he is than her for knowing how to spell and write the ABCs)

Released- Lunchbox Friends (we are best friends forever yipee🫶🫶🤝)

Unreleased- Unhappy meal (inspired by McDonalds. Idk it just makes me think of sun)

Released- Pity Party (it's her birthday party and nobody showed up. Then she tries to play pretend with her toys and teddy bears, but she still know that she's alone and ends up destroying her party and stabbing her toys with knives. She's tired of being alone. :(

Released- Fire Drill (she's in a fire, it's the song that plays after the end of the K-12 album. It sounds like a nursery rhyme. There are children singing with her.)

Released- Dollhouse ("everyone seems to be perfect, please don't let them look through the curtains, DOLLHOUSE, I see things that nobody else sees" (again y'all probably know that one))

Released- Play Date (being romantically used by someone while doing analogies to games and toys)

Small list of songs that deserve to be mentioned but don't make a lot of sense like the last ones, it's just the vibes: The whole After School EP, the whole Cry Baby album, Gingerbread Man, Lost and Found, Patient, Papercuts, ZZZZ

There are also some fan-made type beats, since Melanie's community also sometimes link her to jesters and clowns and also make songs about her already released albums, so like here are some: Class Clown, Naptime, Fire Alarm, Janitor's Closet (I love this one sm!!), Punishment

All of those type beats have their own artists, some of those artists even sell them, so make sure if they are free to use if you want to make a playlist, but I guess it's okay to listen to them for fun since they were posted on youtube

Tell me what you think about those. I love interacting with people who like the same things as me 🫶🫶

[aaal-iz-well]

Guyssss...

Okay, babe, deep breath.

Done?

Good.

Let's roll

WTF is happening? I swear to god a month ago I was checking this hashtag for updates like my life depended on it, and I had great plans for my wip's and everyone was making predictions about what the vault might contain.

Then I tell myself to start making some headway with my studies because exams are breathing down my neck and I (somehow) manage to keep away from this fandom that has been my life and blood for so long. AND ALL HELL BREAKS LOSE!!

Now we know that there are THREE books related to this fandom coming out this year and we might get Toby and Hannah and I'm so excited!

But there are two characters who have my undivided attention atm and I want to talk about them!

So now we have all the main characters, I'm so thrilled that Rohan is one of them because his story is so intriguing to me and it also adds to some much needed Indian or Pakistani (though most prob Indian) representation.

Just think about the kind of background he must have come from, let that blow your mind!

I know that he is going to have a real tragic backstory. Think something involving childhood abandonment or abuse or (most probably) separation from his loving family, coming to London, being faced with the HUGE cultural shock and the nail biting cold and relentless rain. Add to this: making sense of the weird accent. Being picked off the street to do some odd work for the Devil's Mercy. Slowly getting to know it's secrets and rising among its ranks till he reached Factotum. Falling for Zella (first love, maybe?), having his heart broken.

AND THEN HAVING HIS TITLE STRIPPED AT THE END!

CAN YOU FEEL THE BAD BLOOD ENERGY RISING?

'cause baby now we got bad blood...

I also believe that often things are not so one dimensional and that Zella is nothing short of deserving the position. She has undeniably had her struggles with gaining the power she now holds and being a woman of colour in a royal household. But I'm focusing of Rohan here, maybe I'll make a detailed post about Zella sometime later?

These are all only theories, but I can't help thinking that it's going to be something along these lines.

And then there's the fact that Jameson is not going to be a main character (*crying emoji cause I cant seem to insert one of the proper size*) Like he has so many unfinished threads and so much family drama to sort out.

We never got to see an independent confrontation of Ian over how he used Jameson to get what he wanted, or anything about the Prague mystery!!

And I know this might be a bit controversial with some of you, but I really want to see him and Avery fight. Because ofc they are a power couple and express their love to each other in such creative ways. BUT, but you get to know so much about a character when you see their world shifting, when the one thing that they believed to be an anchor is uprooted. How they act when the other is out of orbit. AND WE SIMPLY HAVEN'T SEEN THAT FOR JAMESON. I also might be holding out for a very hot romantic make up later on, but my point stands.

So there's my little (rather late) bit, but still.

Also to those who have read my work and have been so kind to shower me with kudos and comments, I want to apologise profusely. There is a lot to come, but just not at this moment when exams are leeching the life out of me, and trust me when I say I have the most elaborate plans for the future!

Like always, can't wait to hear all your brilliant thoughts. Have a good day/night (depending on whatever time zone you guys are in)

Also please check out Lockwood and Co if you have the time because it's something that I can't stop thinking about and would love to talk about. As an added bonus, one of the mc is kinda like Jameson (and that's how you know I have a type)

[irlmumrik]

parsnip facts that literally not a soul asked for but I love my boy

-left his baby brother at a pharmacy by accident

-didn't know the concept of relatives or grandparents up until he was seven years old and was just like, 'man we go to these old peoples houses a lot I wonder why they look like dad and know my name that's weird'

-loveeeeessss the wintertime stays up for it every year even if he gets sleepy and cranky, his favorite things are snow lanterns and dumping handfuls of snow on his windowsill and watching it melt

-ends up becoming full time artist especially skilled in acrylic, he also loves using crayons because of the texture

-very immunocompromised :-(( he's sick with something for every holiday, he doesn't mind too much though because he gets treats when he does get sick

- he is disabled he has nerve damage in his left leg from when he was a baby and it never truly went away it aches and tingles and sucks to walk on some days or sometimes it will just fully give out, he uses a crutch on bad days as he gets older he switches to a wheelchair

-loves sweaters they make up his entire wardrobe his favorite is a blue one with a clothing line stretched across the sleeves

-horrible cook, only knows how to make grilled cheeses and rice

-wants to be good at music but never has the patience for it, he plays the guitar and knows some songs though!

-horrible to play cards with he has the worst poker face so terrible that it ends up being good and will cheat his way to a win

-can turn into a moomin if he pinches his ears

-has a mermaid boyfriend named tomas! friends since childhood after tomas saved him from falling into the sea they're hashtag stupid together

-doesn't believe in expiration dates and keeps food underneath his bed in a tupperware box

-KICKS in his sleep and not baby kicks he kicks HARD he sucks to sleep next to

-hates fishing, hates fish, hates worms, hates lakes (gets bit up by bugs), hates the smell of fish hates the taste of fish hates the feel of fish hates their eyes he hates fish so much

[futuristictheoristcowboy]

Halloween is coming up and this is really stupid, but I'll always feel depressed about it. I'll always be an outsider to Halloween. I never celebrated any holiday or any Birthday as a kid and its not that bad, really, but I always wanted to be a part of something like that. I wish i had a picture of me dressed for Halloween, I wish I had the memory of going out with friends, I wish I could participate in that childhood self indulgence of celebrating your life and eating sweets you scavenged for. Its not the worst thing in the world, but god it really does kind of sting sometimes and i do think the lack of celebration is a gateway of lack of communication, community, and just deters the quality of life, which is why a lot of cults like banning them or making them about something else entirely.

The thing is though, I recently had a chance to show up to celebrations during quarantine, and I hated it so much. I hate big surprises and people recording my face to those surprises. I get worried over choosing gifts. It's exhausting and draining. And I think that means I will never have the ability to reclaim the childhood I lost at the hands of some stupid cult. because holidays did kinda suck the older I got, yet i still anticipate them like the child i was, waiting to hear people's stories over what they got as presents or how much candy made them sick. I remember believing one day, I'll run away and me and all my friends will have the biggest Halloween and Christmas parties ever! with the most presents, and we'll all be wearing wacky costumes and eating the best treats.

But I think now I'm realizing, I might always have to be the kid that got sent out of the classroom with some book into the quiet empty school hallways, with the only sounds coming from the ventilation systems and the laughs and festive music booming yet muffled through all those closed doors. All for "religious reasons."

thankfully though, i guess the silver lining is that i'll be living cheap and won't have to worry about setting up any decorations i guess so technically we're still kind of wining or at least being hashtage #positive