#just had to do it again recently
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Years and years ago I'd occasionally put on Lindsay Ellis vids as background noise while I was working on things or just spacing out on phone before bed and aside from me finding her a bit grating one time in a video she randomly took a giant munch of like funyuns or something equally crunchy and the absolute horror mouth noise it made fucked me up so bad I startled and cracked my back with how violently it made me jump/recoil so ever since then I've had her channel blocked from my recommendations every time it's come up
#just had to do it again recently#im sure shes a nice person or whatever i just feel a personality mismatch between us#my mom sometimes describes things as Too American for her to relate to or enjoy#stuff such as baseball or the city of boston#and thats how i feel abt LE like you just grew up so violently american its seeping off you and i cant relate sorry
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how to scare a goody two-shoes ravenclaw 👵🏻
#based on a scene from chap 4 of my fic ( lowkey its kinda giving “or worse... EXPELLED”)#inferi and spiders and dark wizards?? w.e.....SCARY LIBRARIAN THAT MIGHT GIVE YOU DETENTION?? now THATS spooky#someone commented on this chap recently and i always re-read/skim chaps that ppl comment on LOL#so when i read this again i had to draw it (even tho it doesnt actually happen and seb just THINKS about doing it) but this is how itd go😊#choccyart#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian x mc#clora clemons#agnes scribner#one of the few things i have in common with clora is being a simp for authority...i loved being my teachers favourite LOL#even if i was a bad student i won them over by being the class clown LOOL#idc if my teachers think/knew i was stupid (i am) but they MUST think im funny and thats all that mattered🤡🤡🤡#for clora its the opposite tho ig LOOL she needs the teachers to know shes a good student BAHAH#being pegged as a delinquent is the worst thing that could ever happen to her😱😱😱😱 rip
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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hi i can no longer act coy or hope that a job will come in time so im coming to everyone really embarassingly with my issues
in June I attempted to get fired from/left my job after having a really embarassing public meltdown due to having Rapid-Cycling Mixed Bipolar and the unending stress of that job of 3+ years. I've been struggling to get a job afterwards due to being in CA without a vehicle, and i'm currently working on an overdue commission so could not open up any more.
Soon after, my mother's car imploded, and a series of incidents related to a used engine and taking out a loan with a friend has left her both needing to pay back the loan and still needing to get a new car, putting her thousands in the hole.
my mother has allowed me to not worry about paying rent while unemployed, but now the person living with us is moving out, so it will be on me and my mother to pay rent, upping mine from $300 to $500 a month. I am currently job hunting with good prospects, but I am still in need of some assistance.
I DO NOT WANT TO ASK FOR DONATIONS WITHOUT GIVING SOMETHING IN RETURN, I have a very bad time taking help from people without doing something in return because I do not want people to feel like they Have to give me money or help me, I want to Offer something in return for that money, even in a situation like this, because I want everyone to come out on the other end feeling fulfilled, so I'm offering some (slow) cheaper commissions I can work on in between the bigger comm I owe.
My kofi is always open for donation sketches ---- you can donate the minimum amount (or whatever you prefer) and get a drawing like this of anything as long as you put it into the donation message!
i cant currently take on big commissions as I have one i owe and the commissioner is a very generous person who has been waiting a good few months for me to finish one during this hectic time, but if you're interested in getting something a little higher quality for a donation, a $30-50 USD donation can get you a ''simple commission'' styled drawing --- that is, you give me a prompt and character refferences (ocs or fanart, up to 2-3 characters depending on complexity), and I draw them like below (color complexity depends on price, the higher the amount the more the color).
You wont have access to revisions to make this as fast as possible, so i HIGHLY reccomend only getting fanart comms of these and to make sure you really like my style!!
this is one of those situations where I DEEPLY reccomend people do not donate unless they want something in return, if you dont wanna ask for a drawing or anything i reccomend going to people in more dire circumstances and helping them out with your donation!!!
but if you want to help me help my mother get out of a bad financial situation and get a little drawing in return, you can do a small dono and att a message of what you want doodled, or you can email me at [email protected] your $30-50 donation reciept and what you would like me to draw, and ill try to get them as soon as I can
thank you so much for checking this post out and keep it real old school!!!!! i promise once this is over and i get a job we'll be back to your regularly scheduled art posting
[EDIT: PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG THIS VERSION. I AM NO LONGER TAKING THE SIMPLE COMMISSION TIER. REBLOG THE ADDITION TO THIS POST GIVING AN UPDATE]
#i usually lock these posts cause i feel bad having a donation post circulate but this one time i wont#i dont know why i jsut feel so ashamed how much ive had to ask for money these past 2 years. i think its been p rare up until recently#but i hate doing it at all because i feel like a teenager again and it makes me feel horrible#so thats why i dont want just donos w nothing attached puh lease let me draw you something 😭😭😭😭
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bonus!!!
@shipsarebeautiful did a pull on my account for Robin and GOT ME AN E2 IN ONE PULL.
and while THAT song was on!
I made a playlist for our group pulling for fun and that was added for a joke.
THEN THAT HAPPENED.
vin I hope you win every 50/50 ever. sorry I initially cursed you for jinxing Bronya on me. enjoy Clara and your own Robin!
#i managed to do one big fish for stuff! I had some and needed more so I gathered again#i feal i have hit the wall though#i just enjoy this a lot#honkai star rail#honkai star rail memes#hsr robin#hsr boothill#hsr black swan#hsr acheron#hsr acheswan#you know swan has no excuses anymore for how she acts around acheron#hsr sunday#hsr aventurine#THIS JUST FEELS SO REAL FOR THESE TWO#hsr sparkle#hsr ratio#hsr aventio#hsr trailblazer#hsr stelle#hsr caelus#a lot for tb but tb has had a lot of stuff happen recently#hsr gallagher#hsr himeko#hsr firefly#hsr dan heng#hsr march 7th
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I met the me who made different choices
#idk what this means so dont ask#got the words stuck in my head and this is what I wanted to draw for it immediately#me at my desk. so.#I dont look exactly like this obviously. doesnt matter. anyways#hard time recently in a lot of different ways#lots of work to do!#given up on getting everything done I kind of failed at that. it was too much#so now I'm just trying to get anything done that will make the next 6 months not kill me again#ideally. 3 episodes. or the book#or like at least close enough to that that its basically that#I'm feeling really screwed LOL#I dont know how I've been working every day for so long and still havent done enough...#(its because the work load is way too much)#every time I take 1 hour for myself. to cook. or clean. or draw something else. or play a game. I feel so guilty auauau#I hate webtoon I hate this damn green app...#DOESNT MATTER!!!#what DOES matter is my art is good as hell... look at this shit...#the light. the colors. I love you red I love you green#I need to get more red pants I only have the one pair.#I saw this guy with red pants that had skeleton legs on them and I was like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!! I need them!!!!#I need to start sewing again. I dont have a sewing machine cause my apartment is too small so I havent sewn in years but I really want to..#I want to make clothes again... I need some vests I need some dresses..#I will not make pants or sleeved shirts because I dont hate myself#sketch#art#vent art I guess LMFAO its not#its just this fun little thing we like to call self expression#also this isnt how my desk setup actually is I scooted things around cause I didnt wanna draw anything twice. fuck it we ball#ok back to work
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a bite-sized everelle comic for pocky day!!
open for better quality | no reposts
#ever beck#pruelle van tain#everelle#turning novel#터닝#i missed them so i am drawing them again lol#the way i had to dig into my old files to find my pruelle designs bc i didn't remember how i drew him#i also do not know how paneling works ough i am trying my best...#anyway. just smth small and cute bc i have been on that art grind recently#fanart#myart#comic
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Chilcille huh... ngl I was a little suspicious. like why would you do that, huh... hope youre not mischaracterizing anyone in your weird and wacky ship. a little weird. but then you said they both had flat asses and you know what? I salute you and your perfect characterization
The fact you seem to think you managed to not make this ask insulting is baffling. What the hell. Fuck off.
If you actually care to be open minded about the ship, I talk about marchil on my sideblog 24/7. Funnily enough I’m currently 4k words deep into an analysis of their character arc together in canon, but that’ll take some more days to get done. Some notable posts:
Of course without counting the analyses of Chilchuck on his own I’ve made, like my masterpost on his family situation. Or better yet you could also read my fics for them, see how weird and wacky they are here.
Wanna talk about mischaracterisation? They’re literally a comedic duo who interacts 24/7. Marchil is crazy bc ppl are like "did those shipper read with their eyes CLOSED?? They have no chemistry!" Meanwhile canon is like: "She’s obsessed with knowing everything she can about him and she reads him like a book." In her eyes he’s like that extra rare and hard and shiny unlockable dating sim character, that brooding mysterious character trope that’s thrilling to crack open and typically is at the center of the plot. The wife roleplay???? "Hey, did you know his type is blondes. Hey did you know he likes his women pretty and blonde. Hey did you know he likes her hair. Hey did you know that he teases her 24/7 and it’s one of the few things that consistently gets him grinning because he finds her reactions cute." Like a schoolyard bully pulling on the pigtails of the girl he likes.
It’s not like they have any thematic narratives or relevance. It’s not like she’ll live to 1000 and has existential dread about it while he’s logically gonna be her next friend to die at 50 and wether it’s romantic or platonic it’ll terrify her to lose him. It’s not like it’s fear of death x fear of rejection so they’re both obsessed with the thought of loss looming, past and ongoing. It’s not like it’s half-elf x half-foot and there’s an inherent journey that was and still is to dispel prejudices and truly come to see each other. It’s not like he’s painfully real and raw and flawed but still a good man, that he’s not the figure of prince charming that she’s always dreamed of while still being virtuous and worth fighting for. Or you know, her hair being golden and it being the epitome of beauty to him, and his hair turning silver and it being Marcille’s worst nightmare.
Just a weird wacky ship who means nothing but shallow things to people who have weirdo reasons for liking it. Like can you not. If you’re not imaginative enough to think of reasons why this ship may have an appealing dynamic that’s not my issue. But yes, yes, they’re both flat asses to me, thanks.
#Dungeon meshi#Ask#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Marcille donato#chilchuck tims#Marchil#You me the parking lot after i finish and post my arc analysis#Sobbing……… we’re 20 over here in the rarepair pit come on. Like do u not see how obsessed i am. Do u think they like. Mean nothing to me#Do u think it’s all incidental and i slipped and the 10 thousands of words I write for them had no thought or feelings behind them or#Their arc is so beautifuuuuul they come to see each other and her standards become more real while he allows hope and openness#Into his heart again 😭😭 not the way two of their scenes lowkey read as a proposal…#Anyways I hope this makes it clear I’ll fight to my dying breath for them.#I don’t want trouble and i imagine you don’t either so just don’t come shitting on my doorstep#In positive news my fic Grind Me Down Sweetly recently reached 100 likes and 1k hits <3 it can also be read as just platonic so if you like#Them as a duo even as friends give it a shot#Every time I see someone shitting on marchil I start making marchil content faster btw#Not art#Unstoppable force x immovable object my beloved. They need someone stubborn loving methinks. One who loves stubbornly and one who confronts
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zombies + text posts (pt 3)
(1 2)
#loving bree and bucky doing the exact same pose (she's not loving it)#and obviously the “human rights” is more like just equal rights for all species but let's move on#zombies#disney zombies#zombies 2#zombies 3#zed necrodopolis#addison wells#willa lykensen#wynter barkowitz#a-spen#bucky buchanan#bree zombies#zeddison#willaspen#willa x a-spen#AGAIN NO VARIETY JUST LIKE MY RECENT HSMTMTS ONE#due to the god awful aspect ratios in z2 and z3#i had to position a handful of these text posts ABOVE their heads and they look so awkward and i want to cry#please tell me that they look normal#also don't really know what this layout is but it's whatever#venux makes text post memes
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walter white from breaking bad
Walter Hartwell White (Breaking Bad) is an Anime Girl!
#my name is walter hartwell white. i live at 308 negra arroyo lane albuquerque new mexico 87104. this is my confession. if youre watching thi#s tape im probably dead. murdered by my brother in law hank schrader. hank has been building a meth empire for over a year and using me as#is chemist. shortly after my 50th birthday hank came to me with a rather shocking proposition. he asked that i use my chemistry knowledge t#cook methamphetamine which he would then sell using his connections in the drug world. connections that he made through his career with the#DEA. i was... astounded. i always thought that hank was a very moral man and i was thrown. confused. but i was also particularily vulner#able at the time. something he knew and took advantage of. i was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. han#took me on a ride along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. and i was weak. i didnt want my family to#go into financial ruin so i agreed. every day i think back at that moment with regret. i quickly realized that i was in way over my head an#hank had a partner. a man named gustavo fring. a business man. hank essentially sold me into servitude to this man and when i tried to quit#fring threatened my family. i didnt know where to turn. eventually hank and fring had a falling out. from what i can gather hank was always#pushing for a greater share of the business to which fring flatly refused to give him and things escalated. fring was able to arrange uh i#uess you could call it a hit. on my brother in law. and failed but hank was seriously injured. and i ended up paying his medical bills whic#amounted to a little over 177000. upon recovery hank was bent on revenge working with a man named hector salamanca. he plotted to kill frin#and did so. in fact the bomb that he used was built by me and he gave me no option in it. i have often contemplated suicide but i am a cowa#d. i wanted to go to the police but i was frightened. hank had risen in the ranks to become head of the DEA and about that time to keep me#n line he took my children. for 3 months he kept them.my wife who up until that point had no idea of my criminal activities was horrified t#learn what i had done. why hank had taken our children. we were scared. i was in hell i hated myself for what i had brought upon my family.#recently i tried once again to quit to end this nightmare and in response he gave me this. i cant take this anymore. i live in fear every#ay that hank will kill me or worse hurt my family. i... all i could think to do was make this video in hope that the world will finally see#this man for what he really is.#breaking bad#walter white#your fave is an anime girl#your fave is#hall of fame
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[ * hey hello quick announcement I vibe with proshippers now (I have sorta nuanced views but I'm closer to being proship and I'm comfy hanging out with them so. If you don't vibe with that there's the three dots in the top right corner of this post, click that and it should give you the option to block me) ]
Edit 2: [ * HEY WHY DO I HAVE MORE FOLLOWERS NOW. THAT AIN'T RIGHT. THAT DOESN'T ADD UP. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT. I THOUGHT MORE PEOPLE WOULD UNFOLLOW AND MAYBE BLOCK. ]
#cw shipcourse#tw shipcourse#<- [ * just in case ]#[ * I won't be posting any darkships on this blog though so dw this blog is going to be squeaky clean of that ]#[ * though tbh i already don't really post any shipping at all (minus tsn) LMAO i just draw Ink being a silly awesome guy ]#[ * this will stay on pinned for maybe a couple of days ]#[ * rude asks will get blocked. no hesitation ]#[ * just REALLY needed to get this off my chest because keeping this hidden (i didn't have a support network specifically for this but now#do) has torn my mental health to shreds like. i had to pull the vent animation card kinda shreds. ]#[ * i won't be posting about shipcourse either . stresses me out ]#[ * anygays. back to our regular schedule of cool Ink arts ]#edit: [ * I MEANT WEEKS I'M KEEPING THIS PINNED FOR AT LEAST A WEEK ]#edit 2: [ * There's a few recent ones which do have proship dni which... man... how do i tell you this... ]#[ * i avoid interacting with them though but since this is kinda a bit of a Situation ig I'm giving them the option of whether to block me-#or not ]#[ * because again no darkships on this blog ]#[ * anyway yapfest over ]#[ * yet ANOTHER edit: i am in fact a darkship enjoyer but. again I don't post that stuff here !!!!!!!!! ]#[ * just wanted to clear that up if that somehow modifies things ]
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aaaaand it's finally done :D. Coffee shop date.
Why use a chair when there's the better option?
#dreamling#yes. Dream is wearing Hob's sweater :))))#another lap sitting? like i said that's where Dream belongs and nobody can convince me otherwise. the concept lives rent-free in my head#they're both shameless and nothing can stop them from publicly displaying their affection for each other if they so desire#also Dream is a menace so that's that#silly rabbit au#i suppose (not sure where this came from anymore but I think I could blame magnusbae again x'D)#and yes this is the wip that i was sitting on for some time now and i had to stop myself from adding more details and say it's done#before i drive myself crazy xD. don't get me wrong i loved working on it - this is the treat myself drawing. but i really need to move on#because there's too many other things that i want to do and so little time!#and maaaybe just maybe I'm doing a lap sitting collection - or at least that's how it looks like considering recent posts and my other wips#dream of the endless#hob gadling#sandman#mayhem art
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still can't get over how insanely pretty they are
i will be Thinking on these two specific photos for a Long Time... ja'marr looking slightly surprised at whatever obj is showing them on his phone... ceedee looking at ja'marr so fondly while resting his chin on his hand... then ja'marr laughing and grinning as hard as he can - oh you can sense the Joy through the screen, hear that contagious hahaha ...
and i will literally never shut up about ceedee's loose bun, it looks so fucking good wtf... ooh ceedee has two (2!) piercings... all of them having intricate hand tattoos... ja'marr wearing like... five (wow) rings... lmao wait is ceedee charging his phone midgame?
also the Narrative of flying halfway across the world to fucking Paris, just to sit courtside at an NBA game with your friends (instead of just meeting up in your home state like normal folks do).... 😭😭😭
#ja'marr grow out your hair PLEASE I BEG#(i'm sorry ja'marr will always be pretty but i'm just not a buzzcut girl sorryyy)#it doesn't have to be this long but like. i would DIE if ja'marr had that hair styling UGHH#obj being the older exasperated friend watching ceedee and ja'marr flirt and laugh and look at each other through the corner of their eyes#and also shaking his head at all the ✨sparkles✨ and the fucking fur coat (young people these day amirite)#once again i will speak my truth: ceedee and ja'marr should go back to their hotel after the game and 👉👈#one night stand typa thing you know. nothing serious. what happens in paris stays in paris 🙂↕️🙂↕️#just a bit of fun with your friend from the same state that you happened to meet with in the city of lights#(i do suspect that it was actually an accident given ja'marr's insta stories which i shall post soon)#like obv this isn't the sheer Insanity of the joe'marr date (ja'marr has kept his arms to himself as many have noted)#but! listen! they just deserve to fuck a little!#1) as a treat. for the way their seasons went off the rails and into the pits of Hell#and 2) it would be SO tragic for all this Pretty to go to waste#like LOOK at them. seriously!#i really never thought so much Pretty could exist in one picture holy cow...#these pictures have me in a CHOKEHOLD#link is connected to most recent pictures by david dow so you may have to scroll#ja'marr chase#ceedee lamb#odell beckham jr
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bones au? fbi agent luffy and forensic anthropologist law
#doodles for bean#do you see the vision#one piece#trafalgar law#monkey d. luffy#recently rewatched bones but had to stop before a certain characters death#i just couldn’t put myself through that again#anyways chopper would be the intern#lawlu#because it would have to be right
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witch's gloves
#so i constantly have issues with brushes meant for linework because i end up getting tails at the end of my lines whenever i lift the pen#and i recently remembered that my pen sensitivity is set super high#so i set it back to the middle. and subsequently realized that All of my brushes and erasers act differently now#like i used to use the kneading eraser in CSP as just a normal eraser. because it had better opacity sensitivity#turns out the kneading eraser is Not supposed to work like that#anyways this was me trying to use all my brushes again with the normal sensitivity and i'm happy with how it turned out ^o^#really need to do more fabric studies though.#my art#my ocs
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