#just gotta make it big messy and dramatic lmao

[vampiricsheep]

i guess my sona can have a little hair as a treat

[kitten4sannie]

pairing: ex! san x fem! reader feat. wingman seonghwa and instigator mingi

genres: omg actual plot ??, exes to lovers, romance, angst with a happy ending, fluff, an attempt at humor, smut finale

summary: during a winter getaway with your friends, you end up having to come face to face with Choi San, the man who broke your heart in two just last christmas.

w.c: 8.2k

tags: features the unholy trinity: misunderstandings/miscommunication/messiness, drama (i bring drama-ma-ma-ma~), alcohol use, mutual jealousy, mutual pining, lots of banter, third parties, poor sannie and reader are just two big dummies with even bigger hearts </3,, like 20 flashbacks (okay it’s like 2 but i like being dramatic sue me), too many winter analogies, insecurities, confessions, l bombs, tears, all that jazz

warnings: soft dom! san (literally the softest dom to ever exist IM SICK), subby! reader, pussydrunk san and cockdrunk reader (like these mfs are so desperate for each other it’s actually disgusting), dirty talk, pet names, praise, possessiveness, kissing, a lot of spit (leave me alone!!!), tit play, grinding, body worship, oral (receiving), passionate condomless lovemaking by the fire baybeeeee, breeding kink, bulge kink, creampies

a/n: so i listen to last christmas religiously every year and while i was jamming my hamster brain was like “WRITE WRITE WRITE” so i diddd and yeahh this happened??? lmao but fr this was the most fun i’ve ever had writing since feb filth fest…. like wtf. i gotta write plot forward fics more often this shit’s like a drug man. anyways i hope you enjoy my dear lovelies <33

*shoutout to my sweetheart bunbun @cottoncandy-girl for beta reading and hyping this fic up during the writing process. i would’ve second guessed myself twice as much if not for you. you’re a lifesaver!! mwah mwah ~~

song rec for the general vibe: last christmas by wham obv <3, fool by frankie cosmos, snowfall (slowed and reverb) by oneheart, know me by gemini, easily by bruno major, flowers and chocolate by eyedress

angst: pleaser by the wallows, do me right by gemini, homesick by wave to earth, cherie by hojean

smut: mice city by hotel ugly, between your thighs by jimmy brown, lock me in by hojean, touch by keshi, your love by brb

Masterlist

“Hey, Y/N,” your best friend began, walking around the side of your beat-up car to the trunk where you were busy shoving various suitcases and bags into the small space and trying to make them fit. “So, don’t get mad, but–”

With a case of wine bottles in hand, you slowly set it down on the lip of the trunk, side-eyeing your friend with the intensity of a thousand suns. It was so powerful, it’d probably melt the snow that had been falling around your feet for the past thirty minutes. “Why would I be mad? What’s going on?”

“Just breathe for me, okay?” she sighed, bringing a hand up to play with a few strands of her hair. “So, you know how Seonghwa’s coming up to the cabin with us?”

“Um, yeah…? I don’t care about you bringing your boyfriend with us, you know. Just let me know if you’re gonna fuck so I can put my headphones on,” you replied, lifting the case up and pushing it inside the empty space of the trunk, satisfied that your long game of tetris was finally complete.

She quickly waved her hands, shaking her head. “No, that’s not…” she started, taking in a deep inhale, before letting it out, a wave of condensation hitting the cold air between the two of you. “He invited…someone. Someone you know.”

You bent down into the trunk to move a few items around, making sure they wouldn’t collapse on each other. “Okay? I only know you and a few other people, bestie. Who could it possibly be–”

“It’s San,” she finally blurted out, her face scrunching up in anticipation of your reaction.

Once your ex was spoken into existence again, a flood of memories from the previous year bombarded your defenseless brain and heart, causing you to stand up so quickly, you hit your head on the edge of the trunk lid.

“Oh my god, Y/N, are you okay?” your friend gasped, already at your side, helping you stand up straight and placing her hand on the one you had held against the back of your head.

“Oh, yeah, I’m good. I think that just knocked all the bad memories out of my brain. Ready to head out?” you chimed, giving her a thumbs up with your keys in hand, stumbling a bit in place, your vision fading out slightly.

Sighing, your friend reached for the keys. “Yeah, I’m driving.”

❆ ❆ ❆

Your friend pulled her keys out of the ignition once she parked in a free space near the cabin you’d both be staying at, turning her head to observe the way you were playing with the drawstrings of your joggers with a pout on your sullen face. “Y/N, are you sure you’re okay? You know, we’re visiting everyone else later, so you can always stay at their cabin, if you’d like. It’s much bigger and has wifi, and definitely won’t have S–”

“I’m not a little bitch,” you suddenly whined, your eyebrows furrowed, your pout growing. “I can handle being in the same cabin with my dumbass ex, okay? I don’t even care that he’s here, actually.”

She nodded her head knowingly, giving you a gentle smile. “Just let me know if you’re uncomfortable, please. And if he starts up with one of his…unique personalities, tell me or Seonghwa, alright? He knows how to handle him.”

“I can handle him myself. There’s plenty of snow for me to toss him into, or some flames if our cabin has a fireplace,” you muttered, too stubborn to admit that your heart would most likely explode as soon as you had the displeasure of witnessing his disgustingly handsome face and charming dimpled smile.

Your friend shook her head slightly, unable to keep from smiling in your direction. “There is a fireplace, yeah.”

You sighed contentedly, admiring the expanse of dense snow, the sundry of oversized pine trees, the far away mountains covered in white, and the cluster of cozy-looking cabins beyond the frosted windshield. “Finally, some good news.”

Once you both got to the front steps of the cabin you’d be staying at, your arms full of the items that you could bring from the car, the front door swung open, almost giving you a heart attack on the spot.

“Baby, you’re here!” Seonghwa gasped, pulling your friend into his arms when she set her stuff down on the porch and spinning her around in a small circle, his eyes twinkling with pure adoration.

Once Seonghwa acknowledged your presence with a warm greeting, you stood off to the side while your friend and Seonghwa kissed and giggled with each other, your arms beginning to feel like jelly, wishing someone would just stamp the words “third wheel” on your forehead already.

“That looks heavy,” you heard someone say in a deeply familiar baritone voice, causing you to whip your head towards the origin, your wide eyes meeting San’s concerned coffee brown ones. “Do you want me to carry it in for you?”

“San,” you automatically blurted out, alarm bells going off, the mini versions of you running around in panic inside your head, your fingers clasping tighter around your things.

“Y/N,” he parroted back in the same cadence, already moving closer to you, his arms sliding underneath your belongings and holding them up with ease, his navy sweater doing nothing to conceal the solid mass of his arm muscles. “Is it like, misogynistic for me to carry your things?”

You opened and closed your hands, trying your get rid of the pins and needles. “No, I’d say it’s progressive since it’s a big dumb caveman carrying my things, so women: 1, patriarchy: 0.”

San offered you a dimpled smile, his wide shoulders scrunching up slightly, as a hearty laugh emanated from his throat. “Caveman, I like that. Should I go find a cave to explore?” He tilted his head, his eyes flitting between yours and your pleasing body line. “Maybe try to start a fire?”

Your heart leapt into your throat, forcing you to gulp it down. You sneered, already beginning to push past him to enter the cabin, only turning your head back to tell him, “Start a fire and jump inside, caveman.”

San smiled at you, seeing right past your act, watching you walk away, before turning his head to look at the two lovebirds still hugging on each other. “See that? She already gave me a pet name.”

❆ ❆ ❆

“Fuck,” you groaned, dropping yourself down onto the surprisingly comfy mattress in the cozy guest room you were occupying, finally done with putting your clothes and toiletries away in their respective places, for the most part, also noticing that the violent hammering inside your chest had subsided.

And then your door opened.

“Yo, this cabin is pretty sick, right? It’s got a nice, cabin-ey feeling to it,” San announced, walking into your room and looking around like he owned the place. Typical San behavior. Whistling casually, he eventually headed over to your side of the bed, picking up a few skincare products that were sitting on your bedside table to study them. “Does this retinol shit really work?”

“Excuse me, but are you lost? This is my room,” you combated, not bothering to get up from the bed you were currently sinking into, simply turning on your back and lifting your head up slightly to glare at him.

“Bro.” San clutched his chest like you had just emptied a clip right in between his tits, his eyebrows turning upwards, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “Why do you act like we haven’t been inside each other?” He climbed onto the bed, looking down at you past his black bangs. “Matter of fact, I know you better than your little friend downstairs.”

You stared up at him, cursing yourself for wanting nothing more than to grab him by his stupid face and kiss him — but you wouldn’t, not after what he did. “You’re so gross.”

“Like in a sexy way, right?” he quipped, chuckling when you just shook your head. San slowly laid himself down beside you, looking up at the ceiling, reaching up behind his head and cupping the back of it to get more comfortable. “You didn’t argue against the fact that I know you better than your own self proclaimed ‘bestie’, you know.”

You let out a small sigh, resting your hands down at your sides, gripping the quilted blanket underneath you, your heart pounding inside your chest just like it did last Christmas. Did you ever fall out of love with him? Was that why your heart felt so stuck? Frozen in place? Like it was waiting for San to make it beat again? “Well, for once, you’re not wrong. I…let you in back then, obviously, so yeah, you know me better than she does. You know me better than anyone.”

San began to reach for your hand, hesitating for a second, not even realizing his walls were just as high. If only he could gather the courage to bring them down. “Y/N…”

You turned to look at San just as he turned his whole body towards yours, giving you one of his infamous gazes, his eyes closed ever so slightly, his lips parted, drawing in a breath. He lowered his hand, touching the top of yours, rubbing it with his thumb. “You know what else I know?”

Why did he have to do this to you? Just what the fuck was his problem?

“What, San?” you questioned underneath your breath, seconds away from losing it completely.

His eyes lost their playful twinkle, instead displaying sorrow. “Y/N, I–”

Seonghwa popped his head into the room. “Y/N, have you seen– Oh,” he deadpanned, displaying an oddly delighted smile for a split second, before his lips evened out. “We’re heading to the hang out now. It’s gonna snow pretty hard in a bit so it’s now or never.”

You both sat up from the bed, your cheeks burning like you had just been caught, well, inside of each other.

Seonghwa was about to say something when your friend walked up behind him and pulled him into whisper something, causing him to whisper back, the both of them nodding at each other.

You and San exchanged glances, before all four of you looked at one another. “Are you hiding things from me, pookie?” you playfully asked your friend, pouting.

“No, I’d never hide anything from you, pookie wookie baby bear!” she cried dramatically, running into the room and tackling you back down onto the bed.

San looked to Seonghwa, making grabby hands at him. “Where’s my hug?”

Seonghwa clicked his tongue, pointing at San’s thin sweater as it rose past his hips. “You better put on some more layers before we go, pookie bear. It’s cold as balls outside.”

❆ ❆ ❆

Instead of hanging out inside your friend’s friends’ cabin where the party was at, you loitered outside in the snow, building yourself a snowman. Maybe he’d stay by your side longer than the last one.

“Hey, what are you doing out here by yourself, ba–” San started, standing with his arm just barely pressing into yours, immediately clearing his throat, sticking his hands into his coat pockets. “Y/N, I mean, heh, sorry I’ve had a few drinks.”

You almost broke the empty beer bottle you were using as the snowman’s nose inside your hands from hearing San almost address you as baby, turning your head to look at the adorably goofy smile he had on his stupidly cute face. You bit your lip, wishing he would just say it, the layers of ice around your heart starting to crack. “I figured. Well, how come you’re out here with me, instead of shotgunning a beer or something with your caveman friends?”

Amused, San nodded his head, impressed by your ability to keep up with your shtick. “They’re too busy hanging around the fireplace, you know. The fire’s so pretty, they got distracted.” He grinned at you, grinning harder when you began to smile back at him, his heart skipping a beat at the sound of the giggle that escaped your lips. “I missed your giggle…missed you…” he murmured absentmindedly, pretending to stay busy by helping you round out the head of the snowman, while you stuck a rock into it where one of the eyes would be.

You dropped the other rock, standing still, feeling your mouth go dry. You racked your brain over his words, wanting to ask him why he didn’t stay with you in the first place if he was just going to miss you so much. You missed him too. You wanted him to know.

By the time you had made up your mind, San had picked up the rock and stuck it into the snow, completing the snowman’s face. “There we go. Mr. Snowman’s looking real nice.” He waited for a second, before turning to look at you with a concerned pout. “He’s not cuter than me, right?” When you didn’t respond, he blinked, leaning in. “Y/N?”

Instead of responding, you found yourself wrapping your arms around San’s neck, pulling him into a hug. You didn’t even say anything — you just focused on feeling his warm body against yours, recalling what it felt like to be his. His baby. If only he would just say it.

“Baby…” he whispered just under his breath, so carefully, like he risked the chance of causing an avalanche if he spoke any louder, gently rubbing your back in circles, automatically resting his head on the top of yours like he did last year. “What’s this about?”

“I don’t know, I just–” you murmured into his chest, your own about to collapse in on itself from hearing what he said, hugging onto him a little tighter than before, wishing things were different. “I…I think I’m drunk…”

“Oh…” San replied, swallowing harshly, only pulling away once you started to. He tucked a bit of hair behind your ear, giving you a concerned look. “You should come back inside and drink some water, then. Seonghwa was right to tell me to check up on you.”

Your face fell slightly, the bottle that was stuck inside the snowman drooping inside the melting snow as if it was mirroring your disappointment. “You…only came out here because Seonghwa told you to?”

“Well, I mean, he was the one that noticed you were gone, so he just thought I should make sure you were okay, yeah…” San explained, rubbing his arm.

You nodded your head, a soft smile returning to your face, not wanting San to see the hurt you felt, not yet, anyway. You were still able to hide it as of late. “That’s nice of him.”

“Yeah, Hwa’s a sweetie,” San mused, noticing the sad snowman, reaching out to fix the position of the beer bottle. “Too bad he’s taken, otherwise I’d be wifing him up and giving him the exclusive Choi San Caveman Experience. There’s a trademark on that, by the way.”He gave you another goofy smile, his smile growing when you offered him a few small giggles.

“I think you need water more than I do,” you mentioned, gently punching his arm.

San chuckled, his smile softening, wanting to say so much more than just, “You might be right.”

After a few seconds of too much silence, and too much yearning for an important conversation to take place, you instead pointed to the lively cabin behind you. “You should go get some. I’ll be back inside soon.”

“Okay, sounds good.” He put his hands back into his pockets, lingering there for a moment, before heading back inside.

You stood there for a while, watching the makeshift nose of the snowman begin to droop again, before you reeled your foot back and kicked into the base of the snowman, watching it topple over and fall apart.

❆ ❆ ❆

You lingered near the spiked punch bowl that sat inside the corner of the cabin’s empty kitchen, drinking down a solo cup’s worth of the fruity beverage and tossing the cup into the sink, not noticing another person’s presence until you turned to the side and bumped your nose into their broad chest. “Oh, shit– I’m sorry,” you apologized, backing up a bit to see that you had ran into no one other than Song Mingi, the man you had trauma dumped and cried to for an hour before having mindless rebound sex with after San dumped you. “Min, hey. Long time, no see.”

“Y/N. It’s nice to see you again. Very nice,” Mingi mused, taking a long sip of his drink, just studying you with his amused, half-closed eyes, pointing upwards with his finger. “What are the odds of this?”

“Hm?” Your eyes followed where he was pointing until your gaze settled on the mistletoe that hung from the doorway above the two of you, a memory of the past immediately lighting up the insides of your brain like the flash of a camera, the snapshot still fresh in your subconscious as though it had never faded in the first place, much like your feelings for San — but who were you to admit that to yourself?

“Jesus, what is with people and mistletoe?” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your itchy christmas sweater, ready to shield your eyes so you didn’t have to look at the two people vigorously making out underneath the red berries that were hung from the ceiling of the crowded cabin.

San hovered near you, running a hand through his hair, his eyes studying your scrunched up, flushed face, wondering how you could be so cute. “The origin of mistletoe is actually really romantic, y’know.” Once you met his gaze, his lips curled into a smile, his dimples making an appearance.

You gripped onto your sweater sleeve, smiling softly back at him, your annoyance fading. “Tell me about it then, Mr. Historian.”

San’s eyes sparkled at your reaction, his shoulder gently pressing into yours as he brought his drink up to his mouth. “Mistletoe has always been able to survive in the harshest of winters. Even when everything’s frozen…” When he lowered his hand, the side of his pinky touched yours, sending warmth into the both of your bodies. “….it still finds a way to bloom.”

You took in a quick breath, having to look down at your feet before your heart burst out of your chest as an unintentional ode to Alien and ruined the annual christmas party. “I didn’t peg you as a hopeless romantic, San.”

“I’m full of surprises, baby.” San hummed, gently taking your chin in his grasp and pressing a kiss to your lips, giggling delightedly as you buried your scorching face into his chest, his heart pounding, wanting nothing more than to show you just how hopelessly in love he was with you, but too afraid to grant you access to the very intense, very full extent of it, let alone himself.

He was full of surprises, so full of them that he was able to show such a meaningful display of love to you and still break up with you on the very same night, with little to no explanation, just a simple ‘I’m sorry.’ Choi San was truly an enigma — one you cursed yourself for still wanting to grasp, to hold, to forgive.

You looked down at Mingi’s drink only for him to motion for you to take it, immediately downing the punch until you were sucking on an ice cube and crunching it between your teeth, satisfied with the buzz coursing through your body, bitterness still seeping its way in your veins. You knew that what you were about to do wouldn’t make you feel any better, but you did it anyway, grabbing Mingi by the collar of his ugly Christmas sweater and smashing your lips against his. What you didn’t know, however, was that San was standing at the end of the hallway, with his hand in his coat pocket, there to witness how Mingi pressed you into the wall.

❆ ❆ ❆

Your friend slowly inched her way towards you from across the brightly lit, festively decorated living room full of your boisterous acquaintances having a battle with each other to determine who could be the loudest, drunkest individual in the room. Currently, it was San, unsurprisingly, who had a beer in one hand while hugging onto the obscenely large Christmas tree in the middle of the room. You couldn’t tell exactly what song he was singing, but you were pretty sure it was a romantic, mostly cheesy pop ballad from the 80s.

“Having fun?” your friend gauged softly, sitting down on the sofa in the corner beside you, clinking her glass beer bottle against yours.

You shrugged, taking a few sips of the chilled beer, crossing one leg over the other. “I made out with Mingi earlier, so that was cool, I guess.”

“You what?” she gasped, pressing closer to you, grabbing your arm and shaking you. “Y/N, oh my god, that’s so —” Her gossipy tone turned into one of concern. “But what about San?”

“What about San?” you grumbled, internally annoyed that all you could think about was San when Mingi’s tongue was down your throat. “He probably already did the same thing, considering how torched he is.”

She sighed, sinking into the couch, very well aware of how San truly felt about you, last Christmas, and how much he wanted to turn things around. Of course she would know. She had to hear it from Seonghwa, who in turn heard it from San off and on for the entire year, but she wasn’t about to speak for him. He would have to do that himself.

“Are you going to play truth, dare, or drink with us?” Mingi suddenly asked you, leaning his hip against the side of the couch, causing you and your friend to look up at him.

“Ehh.” You shrugged your shoulders at him.

He put a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it, feeling someone’s eyes burning holes into the back of his head, figuring San was watching the both of you from the tree, who indeed was, his hands tightening around his beer and the scratchy pine needles he was holding onto. “It’ll be more fun if you join in, Y/N. How bout it?”

You sucked on your teeth for a second, your eyes moving past Mingi to gaze at San across the room, who was now talking to a girl who had came up to him, your stomach sinking at the clear appearance of his dimples. Stupid caveman.

You stood up, fingers squeezing around your poor beer bottle. “Fuck it, I’m in.”

“Good, good,” Mingi replied, smiling absentmindedly, bringing his own drink up to his lips, as if he wasn’t aware of the disaster he was about to bring into fruition — and all for the chance that he could recreate the events of last year’s Christmas party. It led to him having a pretty, teary-eyed girl in his bed to take care of, after all.

❆ ❆ ❆

“Yo, I can’t believe — he actually — I can’t breathe,” someone gasped out in between soundless laughs, falling back into their chair along with their other friends, pointing at San as he trudged back into the cabin past the sliding door, clad in only a form-fitting pair of Christmas themed boxers, wiping some snow off of his shoulders, before immediately going for his mixed drink and tossing it back victoriously, one hand on his hip.

“You bitches really thought I wouldn’t do it,” San chuckled self-righteously, taking another sip, before letting out a low ‘aaah’. “Someone owes me 20 bucks. Which one of you was it?” He held up an accusative finger to one of the girls nearby, who giggled and held her hands up defensively. “It was you, wasn’t it? Give it up!”

The rest of the group laughed in response, drunkenly leaning into each other, gleeful smiles plastered on their flushed faces.

“San’s pretty lively tonight,” Seonghwa said near you, nudging you gently with his elbow. “It’s almost kind of cute, huh?” Poor man was out of the loop, but he was trying, bless his heart.

“Cute?” you muttered, raising an eyebrow at him. “He’s butt-ass naked at a Christmas party. He’s a grown man wearing boxers with candy canes on it. What on earth is cute about that?”

Seonghwa pursed his lips, side-eyeing you. “I don’t know, I just thought you’d agree with the way you’ve been staring at him all night.“

You almost choked on your spit, bringing a hand up to your hair to smooth it out. “Well, it’s hard to keep my eyes off of him when he’s being an annoying ass pick-me like that.”

“But you picked…him.”

“I did. Ages ago, Seonghwa,” you corrected him, watching San out of the corner of your eye, unable to believe that he was letting the girl slip a twenty directly into the waistline of his boxers. As soon as you looked down, San’s eyes were on you, his lips turning into a frown, immediately pushing the girl’s hand away when it lingered a bit too long, his eyes filled with bitter determination. “You know what he did to me. He spent all that time getting my hopes up all year long, only to hit me with the ‘i’m bad with commitment’ card before he left the party last year. That’s bullshit and we both know it.”

Seonghwa sighed in defeat, sinking back into his seat, biting at his lip. “I get what you’re saying, Y/N, I really do. It was unbelievably shitty for him to do that to you, but San…I think he really regrets it. All he talks about is you, Y/N.” Seonghwa turned to face you, gently touching your wrist. “He’s always loved you. He just doesn’t know how to verbalize it.”

You started biting at your lip too, simply listening to your friend’s words, wondering if there was any truth to them. It’s not like you were hearing them from San himself. That would be a different story — though you didn’t know if he was even capable of that kind of vulnerability. “I’d like to believe that, Hwa. I just…”

“Oh my god! With tongue? My virgin eyes!” someone gasped loudly at something, covering their eyes, their friends laughing at his dramatic performance.

“At least someone’s getting some,” Mingi chuckled, while eyeing you, currently holding up the same piece of mistletoe you had encountered together earlier, only this time someone else was under it. Someone that made you wish you had never even came up to the cabin in the first place.

“There’s no way…” you whispered to yourself, unable to take your eyes off of San, who was holding that same girl against him, his hands clutching her hips, his tongue halfway into her mouth by the time you got up from the couch and grabbed a water cup from the coffee table, determined to keep your tears inside your body before you stormed out, but you had to answer to your demons first.

“Y/N, he’s just drunk! He’s trying to make you jealous, okay? He’s being an idiot! Y/N, listen–” Seonghwa tried fruitlessly to reason with you, reaching for your wrist, only for it to slip out of his grasp as you made your way up to San and the unsuspecting woman.

Your bitter, frozen heart quelled you to toss the water at San, watching it splash onto the side of his reddened face, the shock of it sobering him up almost instantaneously, causing him to pull away from the woman and look at you, the weight of his faulty decisions hitting him square into the chest when he saw the tears in your eyes. “Y/N…I…I didn’t mean….I just…” Tears began to form inside his own eyes. “I just wanted you to see me.”

“I see you, San,” you whispered, your voice cracking underneath the weight of your emotional turmoil. “I’ve seen enough, actually.”

San froze in place, while what felt like cement sink to the bottom of his stomach, unable to get himself to stop you from grabbing a freshly opened bottle of booze from someone’s hands and walking away from him.

Your friend tried in vain to reason with you, getting hit with a death glare, before you stormed out. She turned to Seonghwa, whispering “Do something,” encouraging him to run over to San, grabbing him by the shoulders and temporarily keeping him upright.

“San, listen to me.”

San sniffled, his nose sporting a pink hue, as hot tears began to drip down his clammy face, sinking down to his knees, watching as Seonghwa sank down with him. “Seonghwa, I fucked up. I just wanted her to want me. I wanted her to get jealous and take what’s hers. I didn’t know how– a-and her, and Mingi– I just thought maybe if I–”

Seonghwa shook San a bit, his nostrils flaring, his fingers squeezing into his friend’s trembling shoulders. “Get a grip and listen to me!” As soon as San took in a shaky breath and let it out, Seonghwa cleared his throat. “You’re going to put some fucking clothes on, nut up, and go after her. It’s now or never.”

San wiped his eyes, trying to control his breathing. “B-but what do I say, Seonghwa? How can I possibly–”

Seonghwa suddenly pulled him into a hug, clutching the back of his head, feeling San slowly begin to relax against him. “You’re going be honest with her, San. Tell her what you’ve always wanted her to know. The world isn’t going to end after you do. She’ll still be there, and you’ll be safe.”

San clutched Seonghwa’s back, blinking away a few remaining tears. “You promise?”

Seonghwa pulled away, curling his pinky finger around his best friend’s, giving him a firm nod. “Promise.” Seeing the trust inside San’s sparkling eyes, Seonghwa reached up to ruffle his hair, smiling softly. “Oh, and give her that Christmas present you’ve been waiting for her to open.”

A small smile slowly apread across his splotchy face, before he gave Seonghwa a stern nod back, reaching his hand inside the pocket of his coat to feel what had been sitting inside and collecting dust for the entire year. It was time. Things weren’t going to end up like last Christmas. It would be different this time. He would make sure of it.

❆ ❆ ❆

With each passing minute, you sank a little further into the abyss of your memories, as well as the freshly fallen layers of snow that surrounded you, splashes of alcohol melting into it whenever you took a lazy swig and dropped the bottle back down at your side. “You dummy…” you mumbled to yourself, sniffling, your warm tears and body doing its best to combat the chilly environment around you.

Once you reached a street lamp, the warm light glowing onto your damp clothes, the memories of last year, that had once been frozen over suddenly flooded into your mind so quickly, you had to lower yourself onto the gravel beneath you, resting your back against the metal of the large buzzing lamp. “Shit…” You brought your wrist to your eyes, smearing a fresh wave of tears into your slightly damp hair, realizing you had been there before, the deja vu hitting you harder than the icy night wind hit your flushed face.

“San, what’s wrong?” You stood next to your boyfriend, watching him simply stare at the Christmas tree in front of him, his hands in his coat pockets.

San clutched onto the present he had spent weeks waiting to be custom-made and even longer just staring at it inside his apartment, wondering if it was enough, if he was enough, for someone like you.

San slowly shook his head, taking his hand out of his pocket to gently grab your wrist, leaning in to ask, “Can we talk?”

“No, we’re not doing this right now,” you told yourself out loud, smacking the side of your head and shaking it back and forth to hopefully send the memory packing, but it persisted, much like the snowfall around you.

“I don’t understand, San, we were fine! We’re okay. Why are you doing this?” you cried, trying and failing to keep San from leaving the cabin, unable to catch the corner of his coat sleeve until you were both under a street lamp, the light blinking occasionally.

San slowly turned around to face you for a moment, shaking his head, keeping his tears at bay. He didn’t know what he was thinking. How would he be enough for someone like you? Poor San simply couldn’t see the beauty he saw in you in his own self. “I just can’t, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I really am.”

“Can’t what? Can you just talk to me, San? I want to understand, San, please, talk to me,” you begged him, your heart sinking further with each step you took towards him as he continued to walk away. You stopped eventually, in the front of his car, your breath caught in your throat. “So, that’s it? You’re just going to leave? Just like that?”

San stroked his hair with a shaky hand in an unconscious act of self-soathing, tears pricking the corners of his eyes, looking off to the side, before gripping the door handle of his car, as well as the felt box inside his pocket with his other hand, only seeing a blurry version of you by the time he looked back up. How could he explain how afraid he was of you and the love you offered him? How his many walls, like ice, were impenetrable, until you melted them away? It frightened him, so much so that all he could say was, “I’m so sorry, Y/N,” before he got into the car and shut the door.

“You…dummy…” you repeated, this time in a whisper, taking another swig from the bottle and choking down the strong liquor, about to force yourself to down it when you heard what sounded like a set of boots quickly shuffling through the snow.

“Y/N,” San gasped, almost completely out of breath from running through the rough winter terrain, bending forward slightly with his hands on his knees to catch his breath, sending puffs of condensation into the air around you. “I have to – tell you something–”

“Oh, now you have something to say? After all this time? That’s rich,” you scoffed, wobbling a bit as you stood up, trying to put up a front like you had done earlier, though your facade had since melted away, your quivering lips and red, teary eyes on full display. “…Go on, San…”

San finally caught his breath, his heart still hammering away inside his chest, reaching up to his head to stroke his somewhat damp raven hair, trying to swallow the growing lump inside his throat. “Y/N, I…I should’ve said this a long time ago, instead of just leaving you the way I did…”

The longer you stared at him, the longer he felt his walls crumbling around him, figuring that he had no choice but to tell you what had always been lingering on his tongue, buzzing in his heart and mind, and swimming inside his thoughts each night when he was alone. He realized it was worth the risk of having to return to a cold, silent heart, a bitter soul, and even higher walls that he could box himself inside of. To him, you were worth anything.

Your anger slowly subsided at the sight of his serious gaze, his warm coffee-brown eyes studying you like nothing else existed besides you. In fact, nothing did, inside his world, except for you. “San…” you murmured, reaching out to touch his hand, but he already beat you to it, interlacing your cold fingers together.

“I love you, Y/N,” he admitted in the softest, most convicting voice you’ve ever heard from him, slowly pulling out the box he kept inside his coat, opening it to reveal a small gold ring with a jewel shaped like mistletoe, gently sliding it onto your finger when you held your hand out. “I love you so much, baby. So much it terrifies me.”

“Oh, San…” you sighed, breathless, bringing your hand to your chest from being so overwhelmed with emotion. After a moment, you reached for his hand, squeezing it, moving closer to him, his confession and gift warming you up more than a raging, crackling fire ever could. “San–”

“If I had just told you how I felt back then, I wouldn’t have hurt you the way I did.” He squeezed your hand back, his chapped, lower lip quivering. “I wish I could take it all back. It’s all I’ve been able to think about– How I wish I could just turn back time and–”

You silenced San’s words with a gentle kiss, letting go of his hand to wrap your arms around his neck, his arms following suit, closing around your waist. You broke the kiss after a moment to whisper, “I love you too, San. Always have.” You caressed his face, making sure he felt the love pouring out of your words when you promised, “Always will.”

San let out a trapped breath of air, hugging you against him, protectively clutching the back of your head, unable to stop everything he had held inside from spilling out of him all at once.

You simply held him in your arms and stroked the back of his head, not noticing when the light above you had flickered once and went out for a split second, only to shine brighter than it did before, the light warming the exposed skin of your flushed cheeks.

❆ ❆ ❆

San sat on his knees beside the crackling fire, adjusting a piece of firewood, watching the flame catch onto it and travel along the cedar, enjoying the warmth on his skin, eventually turning his head back to admire the sight of you bundled up on the couch with a plush blanket on your lap, your hands clasped around a cup of tea, your eyes admiring your twinkling ring, before you noticed his loving gaze.

“Sannie, come here, love,” you spoke softly, taking one finger off of the cup to beckon him to you, sliding the blanket off and putting the cup down after one more sip.

“Coming, baby.” Eyes sparkling, San inched his way over to you, still on his knees, fitting himself in between yours so that he could wrap his arms around your middle, resting his head against your chest. “Mm, you’re so warm.”

You ran your fingers through his soft, still slightly damp hair, waiting till he looked up at you to caress his cheek, a small sigh leaving your lips. “I’m sorry for what I did to you earlier. I really shouldn’t have reacted like that. It was hypocritical of me.” You ran your fingers gently along his jaw, noticing the way he leaned into your touch.

“No, baby, I’m sorry,” he replied, rubbing his hands up and down your sides, pouting. “I did…that to you in front of everyone…It was really shitty…I just couldn’t think straight after I saw you with Mingi.”

Your face fell, your fingers sliding back into San’s hair to play with it. “I’m so sorry. It wasn’t…I want you to know that there was no meaning behind it, love. I was just bitter. And drunk.”

“I know, Y/N. It’s all forgiven, I promise you.” San reassured softly, responding well to your light touches, nuzzling your hand when it came back to his cheek, his fingers sliding underneath your sweater to squeeze into your sides, sending a light shiver up your spine. “But, you know what, baby?”

“What, Sannie?” Your body temperature started to increase as San brought himself up higher so that you were face to face, body to body, his palms settling onto your bare back.

“There’s meaning behind this,” he whispered, bringing his hands up to cup your face, before gently pressing his lips onto yours. You shared a few firm, passionate kisses, your lips moving against one another’s, hearing San whisper something else that sent a wave straight into your core. “Can you feel it, baby? My love?”

“Yeah, show me more, Sannie,” you murmured against his lips, his mouth slotting back onto yours, almost making you forget to breathe when his tongue began to explore the inside of your mouth.

San sucked lightly on your tongue, before moving down to kiss on your neck, his hands moving further up to unclasp your bra from underneath your sweater. “Can I please touch you, baby?” he asked with a desperation that made his deep voice go up an octave higher.

“Yes, please, touch me,” you responded with just as much desperation, arching your back into his touch when he slipped his hands up the front of your sweater, moving your tits in slow, gentle circles, his lips and teeth attacking your neck and collarbone.

“You feel so good in my hands, baby, fuck, I missed you so much,” San exhaled into your neck, squeezing the roundness of your tits in between his fingers, squishing them together, and lifting them up, only to drop them back down into his palms, groaning all the while. He pulled back slightly, rolling the hem of your sweater up a bit, his hooded, dilated eyes focused solely on yours. “Can I take this off?”

A quick nod was all it took for him to lift your sweater up over your head, your bra falling to the floor. Not wanting you to be alone, he reached behind his head and pulled his own sweater off, his sculpted, muscular upper body bathed in glowing, orange light from the fire blazing away behind him. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N…” he sighed, admiring your body like he did the very first time he saw you bare in front of him.

“So are you,” you replied, slowly running your hands up along his abdomen and back down, his muscles flexing slightly underneath your touch, his eyes following your fingers as they unbuckled his belt, pulling his pants down to reveal his cute custom briefs. “My Sannie, so precious.”

San blushed, his goofy smile slowly disappearing as he unbuttoned your pants, biting hard into his bottom lip once he got them off of you. “Baby…” Unable to just sit there and admire you, he reached forward to cup your tits, running his thumbs back and forth over your stiff nipples, lust clearly running rampant in his head and body by the way he was looking at you with such clear hunger in his eyes, his cock hard and stiff against your core. “Can I taste you?”

“Baby, you don’t have to ask, okay? You can have me, in any way–” you started breathily, feeling San’s cock beginning to pulse against you. “–Every way, Sannie. Please, take care of me.”

San suddenly clutched your hips, slowly grinding his clothed cock into your heat, while his mouth closed around one of your nipples to suck on it, his hooded eyes looking up into yours, his tongue darting out to lap at your tit.

“Feels so good, your mouth on me,” you breathed out, running your fingers through his hair, clutching it tight when he swapped your tit for the other, his jaw lowering so that he could fit more of your squishy globe into his mouth, sucking on it desperately. “Sannie…please…”

Knowing what you wanted, San pulled back to spit onto your tits, watching it drip down, before leaning back in to lick it up, his tongue cascading up and down your now slick skin, still guiding your hips against him, your legs already hooked around his slim waist. Your whiny moans were like music to his ears, taking a break from sucking and licking you to say, “You like it messy, don’t you, baby girl? Makes you so wet for me, doesn’t it?”

“Uh-huh, now come here,” you could barely get out, before you grabbed his face and slammed your lips against his, your mouths and tongues working in tandem, strands of spit dripping down your chins, San’s hands squeezing tightly into your hips, grinding against you so quick, so desperately, you were both about to reach your highs just from that.

“Sannie,” you sighed against his lips, caressing his jaw, his cock rubbing against your cunt in just the right way, your body pulsing with the need to be filled.

“Y/N,” he sighed back, pressing his forehead onto yours, the both of you breathing in the same air, the thick, throbbing length of his cock rubbing deliciously along your clothed slit until your lower halves began to jolt, your moans and gasps crescendoing in unison. “Cumming? Are you cumming for me, baby?”

“Y–esss, Sannie, m’ cumming for you,” you cried out, holding onto him as tightly as you could, your nails digging lightly into his back, feeling his muscles contracting. “Cum for me too, please, baby, let me see you.”

San let out a choked, whiny moan, panting heavily, losing his quick, focused thrusts, opting for sloppy, abrupt movements, barely about to get out the word, “B–abyyy…”

You both fell apart in each other’s arms, your eyes never breaking contact, your combined arousal soaking through your respective undergarments.

Once you both caught your breath, San reached down to rub your pussy with two thick fingers, able to see your slit through your shiny, see-through panties, his cum-covered cock already twitching back to life. “Fuck, baby, look at that…you’re completely soaked.”

“Just for you,” you nodded, spreading your thighs open further, pulling the hem of your panties up a bit to emphasize your puffy cunt, your clit pressing into the soft cloth material.

“Oh my god, baby, I need to taste you,” San suddenly whined, squeezing his fingers into the softness of your thighs, lowering himself down to take a deep inhale of your arousal, his head going completely fuzzy, unable to keep himself from drooling onto your cunt.

You slipped your fingers into his soft hair, bringing his face against your heat, sighing at the feeling of his nose bumping against your clit as he took another deep breath, shuddering when he began to tongue your cunt through your panties. “That’s it, Sannie, feels so good,” you moaned, your praise going straight to San’s cock, causing it to strain against his stained briefs.

“Mmmn,” San moaned against your pussy, licking one slow, long strip up your slit to your clit, filled with so much need for you that he couldn’t keep himself from tearing your panties off of you with one quick tug, making you gasp and release more slick, his mouth already on you to lap it right up, his other hand shoving his briefs down so that his cock could spring out against his abdomen, pre-cum smearing across his tan skin. “This pussy is all mine, baby…mine to eat, mine to fuck….mine to fill, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Sannie, all yours, it’s all yours,” you answered, clutching his hair, desperately grinding your cunt against his tongue when he held it out, looking deep into his eyes that never left yours for a second, suddenly gasping out when San spread your hole open, sending a wad of spit inside before his agile tongue slipped inside of you.

San grabbed the undersides of your thighs and lifted your lower half up so that he could tongue fuck you as deep as humanly possible, letting out a pleased moan each time his tongue entered your soaked, pulsing hole. He kept going until you saw stars, going ‘uh-huhhh, uh-huhhh’ as soon as you began to shudder, your arousal squirting out and soaking his flushed face.

“My pretty baby came so hard for me,” San sighed, licking your wetness up from your sensitive cunt and his lips, before he brought you in for another sloppy kiss, letting you taste yourself.

The longer you kissed, the more you wanted him inside you, needed him to fuck his love into you until you couldn’t remember your own name. You needed him so badly, you didnt even realize what you were doing until you had found yourself pushing San down onto the fur carpet below and straddling him, sitting on his lap in a way that showed the both of you exactly where his long, veiny cock would reach inside of you once he filled you up. “Need you, Sannie. Need you now.”

“You can have me, baby.” San’s cock twitched against your abdomen, his hands rubbing your thighs, eventually lifting you up and down onto his cock, groaning at the feeling of your pussy swallowing his length inch by inch. “Fuck, princess, have all of me.”

Instinctively, San began to buck his hips up into you, filling you up so well, you felt a bit dizzy, encouraging you to hold onto his chest, still taking his cock deep inside your cunt like you were made for him.

San must’ve agreed too because he couldn’t keep from groaning out, “Look at you, babygirl, look at the way you’re taking me, taking my cock so deep–” He pressed one hand to your abdomen, feeling the bulge his cock made each time he fucked into you, driving the both of you crazy. “Your pretty pussy was made for me, baby. Made just for me. You’re mine, babygirl.”

“Yours.” You quickly lowered yourself down to kiss him, his hands sliding up and down along your body to feel your warm skin underneath his touch, eventually settling his hands on your cheeks, wiping a few of your tears away when you began to cry from the overwhelming pleasure.

“Cum for me, Y/N…You can do it…Fall apart for me, baby, ” San encouraged in between heavy breaths, slowing the movements of his hips down, instead filling you up in a slow and meticulous manner, drawing your intense orgasm out of you. “Yes, baby, that’s it, that’s it…”

“Sannnn, oh my god, San.” The longer you fell apart, the tighter your pussy constricted around San’s cock, causing him to throw his head back, sweat dripping down along his straining neck, his veins growing more visible when he gripped your thighs tightly. “Fill me up, Sannie. Need your cum inside.”

“Cumminggg, princess, oh my god, baby girl,” San groaned heavily, lifting you up and down on his throbbing length, before fully sheathing himself inside you, coating your walls with white.

Panting, you both gazed at each other’s sweat-covered faces and bodies, knowing internally that it wasn’t enough. Not nearly.

“Again?”

“Again.”

San didn’t waste any time gently pulling you off of him and climbing on top of you instead, spreading you open and filling you back up, sighing at the sight of your mixed arousal forming a ring around the base of his cock each time he pounded himself into you. “You’re so full of my cum, baby…so full of my cock, aren’t you, pretty girl?”

“So full for you, Sannie, don’t stop,” you gasped, hardly able to breathe with the way he had you folded up, your legs over his shoulders, his cock slamming so deep inside you that you swore he was hitting your womb.

“Wasn’t gonna,” San exhaled, chuckling softly, his lips curling up to give you a smile, his eyes creasing with amusement. “Need to show you my love.”

“Show me, baby,” you sighed affectionately, smiling back at him, giggling at the sight of his eyes lighting up, before you pressed a kiss to his lips.

The wet, sloppy sound of your bodies joining together over and over filled up the otherwise quiet cabin, along with your harmonious moans, the remaining pieces of firewood still crackling away beside you. Time seemed to stop completely. It was just you and him, coming undone together for what seemed like a lifetime.

You both ended up back on the couch, your limbs and bodies entangled, snuggling together underneath the cozy blanket, talking with each other about anything and everything until your eyelids grew heavy, leading you to drift off, your fingers clasped together.

Before you could fully fall asleep, you nuzzled your cheek against San’s chest, gently inhaling his comforting scent. He smelled like aftershave, warm cedar wood, and spiced cinnamon. It reminded you of your time there at the cabin, the memories you spent together, both good and bad, swirling together to form a comfortingly bittersweet concoction, one that you would consume in every lifetime.

“San,” you whispered softly into the darkness, the fire beside the both of you now ashes and smoke.

“Yes, Y/N?” he whispered back, his arms closing around you protectively.

You sighed against his skin, your body and heart melting like the snow would begin to do as well, once the sun came up. “I love you so much, San…” You lifted your head up, hovering above him so that you could look down at him, your fingers clutching his jaw, your expression so soft San thought you might cry. “I want to show you how to share some of that love with yourself one day.”

San smiled up at you, his eyes full of so much adoration for you, it threatened to spill out of him, his fingers running through your hair. “You showed me, Y/N. Through it all, behind every word, every action, I still saw it there. That’s why I put myself first and confessed to you.” He smiled softly, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “I’m…not nearly as put together as I seem. I just love you so much, it makes me want to be strong. For you. And…for me.”

You didn’t realize you were crying too until you saw your teardrops land on his face and slide down his cheek, wondering if your icy heart had finally melted, and that was why there were so many tears escaping from your blurry eyes. “Oh, San, my sweet San, I’ll be here to watch you grow, I promise,” you murmured, hugging onto him and laying back down to rest your head on his chest, gently rolling the ring around your finger.

San’s hand came up from underneath the blanket to rest on top of yours. He squeezed your hand and you squeezed right back. “Promise?”

“Promise,” you repeated softly, closing your eyes, your heart at peace. “As long as you promise to watch me too.”

San closed his eyes too, a few more happy tears dripping past his cheeks, squeezing you just a little tighter than before. San felt safe. Whole. “I’d love nothing more, Y/N.”

Apply for the taglist here ⇢ ♡

© kitten4sannie, 2023.

[year2000electronics]

i gotta say, despite your brozone world tour fanfic being VERY much an au it's probably got the best written brozone dynamic i've ever seen?? like not only branch being upset at his brothers and all of them being upset at JD, but the way they all realize how they hurt branch and make an effort to change without it being too melodramatic (just comedic dramatic with clay the one time lmao) and in turn branch realizing that they all had issues he couldn't see as a kid and him beginning to understand their reasons for leaving in the first place, all without diminishing anyone's feelings because they're all allowed to be upset!! it's REALLY good and something i've been starving to see in brozone fanworks lately (like, i enjoy branch blowing up at them all as much as the next guy, but it gets old after a while yk?). i think how you write them has gotta be one of my favorite ways i've seen them be characterized, despite how far removed they are from the actual movie's story LMAO. so excited to see how messy things get now that JD's back in the picture, keep up the awesome work!!

thank you so much!! that really means a lot to me because i care about the relationship brozone has a LOT <3 it's really not an enviable situation for ANY of them to be in, yknow?? like, all the bros were either late teens or adults in their brozone days and, like, yeah it's one thing for branch's perspective to be that his brothers all up and left him instantly in one day, but man it is ANOTHER thing for you, as a teen/young adult, your identity being irreversibly tied to four people that are starting to REALLY grind your gears- being just "a part of brozone", with a specific Label for how you should specifically be acting all the time.

like yeah! branch has every right to be mad at the bros! but its also sooo important to me to remember that these guys were an ENTIRELY different age bracket than bitty b, right, so like. HIS "you all up and left before i could grow up" is THEIR "i'm growing up and i still don't have any identity to my name besides 'the fun boy', 'the sensitive one', 'the heartthrob', 'the leader'"

and i think branch could be able to see that i truly do. i think the best thing for branch to hear from his brothers is not actually "so sorry branch we should have never left" but instead like. "yeah we did leave but we should have visited" or like "it was really important for our lives to change, but we're sorry that ended up having an unintentional negative impact on yours"

IT'S ALL ONE BIG BOY BAND ISSUES SOUP AND IT MAKES MY BRAIN'S GEARS SPIN LIKE CRAZYYY!!! and again i am super grateful for your kind words, i love writing for these bros so much ;0;

[taeyamayang]

Hey hey hey! Sorry for the late reply but I FINALLY WROTE SOMETHING!! literally when you @‘d me the Ray Bradbury quote I was like “welp that’ll do it” and finished the kuroo Drabble. It’s def not my fav but it’s a start! After I wrote that I wrote a Yams story that was originally gonna be a part of a different series that I scrapped. But I really like the idea so I made it a one-shot. I really like it and am proud of it!! I just hope by the time you read this someone else besides me has read it 😅. I don’t Necessarily want it to blow up or anything but starting out as a fanfic writer is hard. How did you do it?

About the books thing growing up I lived with my grandparents and wasn’t really connected to the internet like kids my age were until like 8 (which is still v young but I grew up kinda fast so 8 was like 13 to me I guess) so I just read a lot cause we didn’t have much to do (and talking to people was hard- so books it was) besides watch the same old movies on VHS and play with Polly pockets. A lot of my toys were my aunts who was like a decade older than me as well. All of that was some of the reasons I identified a lot with the gen before me and I remember talking with my (other) aunt whose like nine years older and her friend reminiscing about when they were kids and I was like “ahh I remember those” and she’s like gIRL HOW U WERE LIKE TWO😭 fanfic has ruined actual books for me. Not saying fanfic is way better, and I still like to read actual books, but why get invested in all these new characters when you can read about the ones you already know and love? And plus it’s more convenient then actually carrying a book around.

OOH REMEMBER WHEN I TOLD YOU HOW I ALWAYS GET HIT WITH BALLS AND YOU WERE LIKE HEY THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD FANFIC IDEA? well that’s not exactly how it happened but guess what! I’m writting it! I have 630 words down so far so I know it’s at least gonna hit the 1000 mark at the rate I’m going. I’m so excited for you to read it!! Also I may take you up on the editing or what’s it called Beta reading? Where people read it over and give the ok to post? I was gonna do that with the Yams one shot but I was too excited! I will absolutely keep u in mind tho, thank you!!!

And for the thing about the schools and the pillows…I CANT BELIEVE I WAS RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK??? that is so wild to me omg. Also American tv is fucking weird when it comes to sex. Like when I was in high school only a few people had sex and it wasn’t a big deal? I mean I was very introverted and wasn’t popular so I might not be the best resource but still. Maybe it’s a newer thing not to care as much about sex with a more body positive gen or wherever but I don’t really think peer pressure or anything was a big deal. Honestly? Peer pressure in general barely exists anymore. Adults were always like “say no to peer pressure” when it was just one guy offering weed or whatever and a person saying nah and that was IT. I think there was more pressure in feeling left out if anything. The media is so weird portraying teens but we gotta remember- these are old people writting and producing these shows. They also get paid to make it dramatic and not realistic.

I hope everything worked out with your ex boyfriend/boyfriend! And I totally don’t think you are ranting and if you are, shot just call me a therapist LMAO. dating is so fucking messy. Everyone expects it to be certain kind of way and they get anxious when it’s not. People gotta learn that relationship differ for everyone and it’s ok to break up and move on when you feel like things aren’t working out! There doesn’t have to be hard feelings or anything either idk why society has to make breaking up so messy- I know it can be and things don’t always end well but they can end normally and you don’t need to feel bad about doing what’s best for both of y’all. Staying in a relationship that doesn’t feel right Is just bad for both parties. Then again, I’ve never really been in a relationship and I’m still a virgin because I’m demisexual and that strong connection is vital and I’m too fucking busy with my own shit to get that. But I think what I said still stands. Bruh I’ve been reading so much fanfic and while reading I’m like “wow this shit would never happen to me and my shy ass” bUT I STILL WANT A MEET CUTE!!! but I have to remember that I’m reading about anime men who are too good to be real LMAO. I have high standards ig. Finding a partner is gonna be fun. Also I know what you mean when you said being Intimate is hard because girls are taught to always say no to sex for multiple reasons. A. Religion and purity for being a female and slut shaming and B. R*pe and sexual assault. Like I listen to too many true crime stories! I know the statistics! And people just hook up with others??? Wtf??? Idk this might just be my demisexual ass but no thank youuuu

BRO I WISH I HAD SMALL FEET! THEY DONT MAKE CUTE SHOES FOR BIG ASS FEET LIKE MINEEEE. When I was a freshman I learned about how having small feet was attractive in china and how they would bind the feet of women to have small cute feet but I never heard of small feet being lucky. I did hear about big feet meaning big- uh I assume you know where I’m going with that.

I don’t read my journal that much cuz ig makes me wanna cry but I do read it when I feel particularly down. I still have contact with Kylie (I think I called her that- since i used fake names for them both) but we don’t talk much. Sadly I don’t have Daias number which makes me so sad cuz I miss her dearly.

Ok so the murder in my town was kinda on brand for it??? OK LEMME EXPLAIN. I live in an upper middle class town with good schools and such so a lot of wealthy families move here. Some areas of this town are more fancy than others (the farther away from downtown you are- i happen to live pretty close to downtown but ANYWAYS) even some big celebrities mentioned wanting to move here. my town has a pretty uppity spoiled reputation because of that. Like most of the crimes around here are from spoiled brats that get bored and do drugs or rob people. The culprit of this case was spoiled by his mother in every degree as a child and refused to be independent and when his mom cut him off he killed both of his parents and his one sister and her husband (bc the sister kept telling him and Their mom that he needs to get a life.) the sister and her husband live in the town over so technically it didn’t just happen in the town i live in (but!!! My old residental school was IN THAT TOWN! not the same area since they lived in the nice mansion part but still.) I also got lunch with my old teacher (the one with the books) and told her about the case and she original thought I was talking aBOUT A DIFFERENT MURDER! THAT HAPPENED EVEN CLOSER TO ME IN MY TOWN. she’s like “oh is it the case where the lady drowned her kids in the bathtub?” LIKE IM SORRY- WHAT??? she like “oh yeah it happened a lil while ago tho. The college bought the house and now they use it for administration or something since no one wanted to move there.” THIS IS THE SAME COLLEGE RIGHT DOWNTOWN!!! I PROBABLY WALKED PAST IT BEFORE WHEN I GOT LOST GETTING CUPCAKES. ok quick side note- my high school was downtown and we had free lunch where we can go off campus for food and I decided I wanted a cupcake from this cupcake place not that far from the school. Since I didn’t wanna be late I pulled up my old friend google maps to take me back the quickest way- THAT WAS A BAD IDEA!!!!! I ended up wayyyyy out of downtown and into this weird residental housing street soooo far away. I ended up calling my mom like “moooommmm…. I think I’m lost.” And she was like ???? “Aren’t u at school???” THEN I HAD TO SEND MY ADRESS AND SHE PICKED ME UP. I WAS SITTING ON THE SIDEWALK ALL ALONE AND SAD. I WAS LIKE 16!!! my mom wasn’t even mad LMAO. She just sighed and told me to get in. It was a good cupcake tho. ANYWAY BACK TO MURDER- apparently one of her students parents got murdered too or something like a decade ago… LET ME JUST RESTATE THAT I LIVE IN THE MOST PICKET FENCE UPPITY TOWN EVER. I know what I’m saying makes it look all shady but the town i live in is one of the safest towns in the country- let alone my state. It just goes to show a lot of shady things happen when you aren’t looking for them. A quick google search goes a looooong way if you know what I mean- hopefully that doesn’t scare you if it did I’m so sorryyyy lol.

I’ve heard a lot about some famous cases from Japan, like the one about the little girl that killed her classmate (THAT SOUNDS SO BAD OUT OF CONTEXT WTF) or the Kyoto Anime massacre and the Junko Furuta case. The last two are very interesting to me in different ways. The first because I’ve never heard of anything like that happening before and the outcome is very unique? If that is the right word and just different from other arson cases when it comes to the motive and even the aftermath is different, like the perpetrator being the first person to receive a full body artificial skin graft. And because Kyoto Animations is a very big anime company which produced movies and shows that I- a person so far away- has watched before. And the Junko Furuta case was one of the few cases that ever made me cry and stuck with me for a while (that makes me seem so cold blooded I just don’t cry often because when I do EVERYTHING comes out) - but it was some of the most gruesome shit I have ever heard. I feel like the way I’m mentioning them is kinda disrespectful but I don’t want to go into detail about them because A. It’s really depressing for a tumblr ask and B. I wouldn’t do the stories justice. You also probably know about them anyway since you also like true crime and live closer geographically but if not I heard both of these cases from the YouTuber I mentioned a few times before Elenor Neale. Junkos case is kind of similar to one that happened here about a girl named Sylvia Likens, just in terms of sheer brutality.

OK THATS ENOUGH MURDER! but I wish I lived closer to Japan, since my mom told me she’d take me there after I graduated at some point- but she needs to get on a smaller plane first since she’s never been on one and the first one she’s going on will not be the 14 hour flight to Japan. So now I’m kinda just waiting and saving up lol.

I believe you did tell me about hearing voices in your house! Very spooky indeed. One time in a different house, a doll appeared on my bed out of nowhere (apparently it was my aunts who gave me to Polly pockets so that part wasn’t that weird) but the doll had a gold necklace with a smiley face pendant with a big round nose. Everyone says they never seen it before and honestly? I believe them. I have no idea where it came from and I held it close to me (bc spooky things are cool) until my little sister got jealous and broke it smh.

OOOH IM SO EXCITED ABOUT YOUR STICKER BUSINESS!!! IT SOUNDS SO COOL! I don’t play Genshin myself but my best friend does so I know some things about it. Her fav character is childe so I know zhongli and how he’s a god of some sort that childe buys everything for. I know there is a best friend duo and one of them hunts ghosts (bc my bestie said they remind her of us) and i know that childe calls everyone comrade and he’s a fatui harbringer with a little brother who thinks he is a toy maker. Oh and pimon (I think is her name) is annoying and Klee is cute and makes bombs. Oh there’s also Ito who’s like an Oni that’s a himbo and Thoma (I like him a lot. He’s cute) with the lil doggo! Your Zhongli sticker is so cute!!!

I’m also glad you take time to chat with me!! It makes me so happy whenever I get these messages. I hope you like my writting! By the time you get this my bokuto fic should be out!!!

And here! Take some cat pics as a treat!

i'm back with a communicable brain. dude, would you believe that i am building a sleigh.. a freaking life sized santa sleigh for christmas?? it's for community competition and i was tasked to build a sleigh and 9 reindeers. ugh, it's fun but very tiring i might be able to show you the sleigh the next time i write to you.

i read feline antics and kuroo in your fic is canon!! omg lol and when you mentioned about yams fic i was like "wait...why is the fic not on my dash (considering that i have few mutuals/following)." then it turns out I DIDN'T FOLLOW YOU?? WHAT THE HECK i swear i thought i did last time i read feline antics but my pea brain forgot or thought i did (i'm very forgetful if you hadn't catch on yet. might as well name myself dori ffs) anyway, so i followed you and saw your yams fic and holy shit??? 6k?? DUDE 6K?? woah, i am so so proud of you because i remember you mentioned to me before that you couldn't write anything/one shots because you always tend to drop them off or left them unfinishes bUT 6K?? DAAAMN. i really like the way you portrayed yamaguchi's anxiety because it's raw, heartfelt in a way that i could feel his worries through your writing. i'm sorry if this entire paragraph is a commentary about your recent works gsmsbsns lol and about beta reading... ARE YOU SURE?? ME?? WHAT AM I?? kidding but i'm always down maybe we can talk over it on discord if you have one (i rarely open my dms here bc opening dms means opening notifications and if im not in the right mood to check notifs i tend to forget to reply to comments, ask games, etc. aghh you know that gsnsbs)

how i started out as a fic writer is not actually a plan lmao after watching haikyuu i reopened my dying tumblr blog bc i know that great artists thrive here so i wanted to check out artworks of haikyuu. then, i saw that a number of blogs writes for haikyuu and i was like "wow fics are still a thing here on tumblr, huh." then i tried writing my own and took my tendency to daydream about my fixations to my advantage. i love thinking about how these set of characters react to a situation (this prolly the reason why i took up psychology as a major lol i love observing people and their personality and behavior) then out of whim i posted. not really thinking of numbers or feedbacks, i posted bc i know that only a few people will get to see it so there are less judgments on me since i'm a beginner writer on this platform. then, as i kept posting more and more people came to my blog. and although now, i still am not a huge blog, it's always good to keep a mindset that you're writing for yourself (tho numbers are rewarding, we get that) and that the people who read your works doesn't know you. you can't be judged based on your writing bc that's just one side of who you are and it also comforts me to think that there people who genuinely enjoy my work. i'll be lying if i say that there are no times where my priorities lean towards writing for my audience. i did at one point but ended on a writer's block lol. if you keep it that way you'll end up burntout (this happened to me too before heh). so, in short, i started writing just because i can and i didn't really thought about the negative things people will think of me, i just did bc i enjoyed it. also, i think consistency plays a huge role in thisㅡnot only to keep people engaged but also to keep writing as a habit. if you make it a habit, your writing gets better and better. that's just based on my experience lol. alsooo tho one year of writing here is still a short-time, i have never encountered anyone calling me a shitty writer and to stop writing because my words are useless and childish LOL what i'm trying to say is worries about people judging you and your work doesn't happen often and if that ever happens, they're the problem, never yours. so yeah i keep that in mind too. AND if that ever happens to you, i'll be on the frontline defending you. leave the roasting to me lol.

about the tv shows and sex (i feel like i have to at least give a topic beforeni start a paragraph bc i reply SO LATE that i feel like you might have forgotten what we were talking about) i agree! it's more of the pressure of being left out. one is pressured to hangout after school because of the fear of not being included in a group. tho i was peer pressure to kiss someone in class for fun but i was like "uhm, nope!" so i made a petty (i think wise *wink*) excuse of going to the comfort room first before doing it but what i did was i went straight home without telling anyone. i am not doing that for their entertainment lol 💀and that's cool kids for you 💀

OH! ex boyfriend... uh.. it's a girlfriend 🤣 everything worked well so thanks! we broke up lmaooooo welp it's for the best. im onto finding a better match i guess lol bruuhh i get the strong connection but besides that i also want someone to balance me out. i'm literally just a speck of dust sometimes, you know floating and minding my own business aka my fixations and hobbies in life. kudos to you tho! you give spot on advice. i mean having zero experience is okay when you give out relationship advices bc to me i think that's a fresh perspective.

yeah, small feet are lucky. small faces are pretty. button noses are pretty. small curvy lips are pretty. everything has to be small to be lucky or pretty but eyes... IT HAS TO HUGE AND DOE-LIKE i swear to fucking god the beauty standard here is ridiculous tho people my age dont usuallu give a fuck about it lol but the older generations OH THEY DO but that doesnt matter we were taught to respect elders and their opinions (as part of our culture) but that doesn't mean we will up to their unrealistic expectations. oh just to mention to you! when i was a kid i was pretty active. i play outside a lot and i love ride my bicycle and do races with my friends. one time my aunt (my father's sister) warned me of not "playing too much" bc my calves will develop man like muscles and it's not a good for a girl to have calf muscles because if i wear a dress and heeled shoes it will show. i was i think 8 or 9 and i was like... sOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT so i went to my mom and told her about it and she was like "what?! she told you that?! that's an exaggeration! just keep cycling or running, don't mind her." (my mom doesnt really care about physical looks whereas my aunts-dad side CARE A LOT) they don't even like women wearing clothes that are too revealing so what i did was i wore a tube on a relative's birthday party. they cant call me out bc they know my dad doesnt care (he even buys me cropped tops) and my mom too. anyway, so yes small ankles and calves are a thing too. IT'S RIDICULOUS I SWEAR.

oh god the murders in your town?? THAT SOUNDS LIKE FROM AMERICAN HORROR STORY OR SMTH. is it not weird that the college bought where the murder took place? like if i were to study there i'll be thinking about it a lot... actually... that sounds a bit like my uni... not exactly my uni but the place where my uni sits. so my country was under a colony before (war times and all that) and the city where my uni is the main city where the locals and foreigners interacted during 1800s and since the woke locals are against the colonization, a lot of them were shot, killed, and thrown to the nearby river. and if you take a few strides from my uni there's like an underground tunnel recently discovered that turned into a tourist spot. it's downright creepy because the way down to the tunnel and the tunnel itself is sketchy tight, the way/tunnel leads to a huge boxed underground like a deadend. my friends and i went afterclass and when we reached the dead end we looked up and see like a railing(?) idk how to describe it but other tourists were shock that people are piling underground and they can see us. apparently, that hole used to be a prison for locals who fought for our freedom (and other criminals too) they were kept and stuck undergound, left them there to die (die of starvation and stuff). it was creepy bc i was literally standing where almost hundreds of people died and i didn't know. we only knew of it when we reached the dead end. as it turns out, there are many other tunnels with the same structure near the place. sooo yeah.

omg speaking of the two japanese murders you mentioned i dont know about them so ill check it out!! and about your cupcake incident OMG THATS SO CUTE WTH IM SORRY FOR LAUGHIN but i just think its adorable that you ended up lost for a good cupcake. cant blame you tho i loveee a good cupcake. where you able to get back in class without an earful?

ahhhh i live near japan but i can't fly there yet bc of school (but since i graduated who knows heh). you know how crazy asian schools are? yes, they're crazy. so my family and i barely have time to travel outside of the country without taking a week off from school. we traveled once before to two countries it was hongkong and vietnam but i had to file a one week leave (it was tedious with all the papers i have to submit and all that ugh) and thank god that one week is just school festival week so i didnt miss anything besides the fun. that was in elementary but came middle school and high school.. heckkk after class study sessions is real like the one in anime especially if you're a senior. i remember my mom's friend being a math teacher so every summer i go to their place to train my skills in math and i'm begging my mom not to drop me off to their place 💀 imagine spending summer solving math problems HA! still, i'm never the best in math lol

thanks for the wishes i hope to launch my sticker shop soon apparently i hae forgotten my skills on photoshop HA HA HA and i'm trying to recall my lessons on it BUT FUCKKK anyway you a lot for someone who doesnt play genshin if you ever plan on playing it soon let me know!! i would love to know (its funny how you mentioned almost all daddies of genshin bc saaaame ughh childe supreme sugardaddy and a meme)

here are some haikyuu stickers i made recently it isnt final yet butttt here have a look!

WHY ARE YOUR CATS SO PHOTOGENIC?? THEYRE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL AND SOOO CALMING TO LOOK AT!! THATS UNFAIR bc momo knows when a cam is pointed at her and she just runs away. and the huge pikachu too!! I WANT THAT AAAHHH

here have momo sitting on the sleigh im working on hehe

sorry for the long wait but i lovee writing to you whenever i receive a message from you i get all excited! you're a good communicator and thanks for waiting for my replies since i take eons to do so. i hope you keep writing!! i'll always be here to support a friend and a fellow writer. cheers!

[neapolinyan]

About the ask thing, you know i gotta go with someone from PLA lmao

If nobody's asked yet, Volo. If he has been already asked, then how about Irida? ^^

YOURE FINE nobodys snagged the volo ask yet! time to talk about my favourite spoingly little meow meow. cracks knuckles. prepare for some LONG rambles here folks

favorite thing about them:

this is very small but i love his hair with the cap on. i can wear my hair like that (and have done so in the past, low messy buns are VERY nice) and its just cool to see a character with it. plus his hair is also just a nice touch to make him resemble cynthia without being a carbon copy like a lot of the other ancestors. really throws into question who's the real ancestor of cynthia, him or cogita - the physical similarities are obvious, but the game never suggests they're related so it's fun to consider the idea that volo's a sham in every sense of the word, even down to his presumed ancestry.

least favorite thing about them:

i like rambling about his motivations but religion toes a VERY fine line with me so i am forced to keep it brief. i am so mad /j

favorite line:

"You outsider! It's almost as if you were spat out of the space-time rift just to get in my way!"

not sure WHY it's my favourite, but i guess it really just hammers home the protagonist's impact on him. i've said time and time again in my own silly little ramble spaces that volo wouldn't have gotten this far without the protagonist's interference - he grew frantic after learning both the fact they were gathering plates and, eventually, their connection to arceus, and i refuse to believe he's always been this deranged. the protag's presence in his life tipped him off the edge, and if not for them i can confidently say he would have grown old with still no answers from arceus. maybe he'd still be finding some way to live for hundreds and hundreds of years to find his answers, but the protag's being there sped things up dramatically and this line REALLY shows it. they got him closer to his goal than he could've ever dreamed of, but their experience being from the future and understanding pokemon better than HE does (and he's very advanced, mind you) means that they were always going to get in his way.

brOTP:

HIM AND AREZU. pla server people you know where i'm going with this, but they're besties. volo lets her mess with his hair (as long as she doesn't cut it too short and nothing's terribly permanent, he likes it the way it is) and he takes the opportunity to nap while she's working.

additionally, i love the idea of volo and irida having a sibling-like relationship. they battle a lot <3333 he helps her train so that the next time she battles adaman, boy does he have a surprise coming his way

(volo watches them battle from the sidelines and his sides hurt from laughing too much when irida absolutely pummels his pokemon into the dirt and nearly nicks adaman while they're at it)

OTP:

appraisalshipping and poisonhealshipping. did you really expect anything else <3

nOTP:

HAAAAATE hate hate volo/protagonist. ignoring the obvious main first reason that the protagonist is canonically FIFTEEN while volo is absolutely an adult, it's toxic as hell no matter which way you look at it. volo clearly hates, envies and wants to get rid of the protagonist and isn't afraid to use force to get his way. even after he loses, there's about five seconds of "he's given up" catharsis before you get the means to visit arceus and he blows up again. you cannot fix him, please stop trying

(self inserts are kind of a half-n-half situation. i love oc/canon, go off guys i love you, but people who change nothing except age up the main character still lean into that toxic category of a relationship)

random headcanon:

not only does he shirk his merchant duties, but he has a habit of giving discounts (or just free stuff) to people he likes, or people he thinks need the materials and it's just not worth making them fork out the big stacks for. he empathises with young kids just starting out with battered pokemon and zero healing items from being in the wilds too long.

ginter doesn't like it, but volo just doesn't think it's right to refuse aid to a kid just because they're a few hundred short.

unpopular opinion:

i've seen so many people talk about his little face he makes when you beat him in his first two battles like "he is two seconds from ripping you apart, this is his customer service smile"

but tbh! i think it gives him more character than 'two-faced asshole who lied about his entire identity upbringing and favourite hobbies' if you separate it from his whole betrayal, he's-been-using-you-for-a-good-while postgame moment. he's one of the first pokemon trainers! he likes battling. he had to level his pokemon that high somehow, on wild pokemon or whatever, and he eagerly challenges you when you don't have a ton of work on your plate. you can say he battles you to scope out your potential, but the first time he battles you you're not even an official survey corps member.

i just think he likes battling, and his little smile after being defeated is genuine. maybe he's a bit of a sore loser if you want to push it, but i don't think he's about to maul some kid he just met.

song i associate with them:

CRACKS OUT THE VOLO PLAYLIST /J

okay but. rabbit heart (raise it up) by florence and the machine, mad iqs by idkhow and ancient dreams in a modern land by marina are like a top three.

favorite picture of them:

aforementioned silly little losing smile :)

[shtern-and-art]

I have more questions because it's no longer 4am lmao.

Does Skeppy fear any animals? I just wanna know if there's any sweet moments of Skeppy clinging to Bad whilst he tries to calm him down.

I'm guessing Bad still hates things like littering and woodcutters but would he ever act particularly strongly about it or would he have more control?

I like how Rat seems to tolerate Skeppy because Bad likes him but would she ever get jealous if Skeppy started pettting another dog?

I have a horrifying image of Bad just spider climbing up a tree to fetch Skeppy. I don't know why but I feel like dude wouldn't even need branches lmao.

What other supernatural creatures/people do they come across? Were there any that were especially dangerous and did they befriend any?

Is Bad much physically stronger than Skeppy? I keep thinking of Skeppy being a little shaz and Bad just one-arm picking him up and slinging him over his shoulder XD.

Does Bad ever get nightmares of the day he became the forest spirit?

How far would Skeppy take stealing? Would he steal something he knows the owner has genuine attachment to? Would he do everything in his power to steal something for Bad even if it means getting hurt?

Who's more likely to protect the other?

Skeppy just minding his business looking at one of Bad's textbooks, turns his head and Bad's just having a tea party with a freaking bear. Surprised the man hasn't had a heart attack yet XD.

What's your favourite thing to imagine them doing?

Is Bsd an adrenaline junky? Or is he scared of more dangerous things like bungee jumping and mountain climbing.

What would their reactions be to rollercoasters?

Do they have a favourite date-night activity?

Everytime I think of this au it brightens my mood!! Thank you for making something so heartwarming!! <3

Glad to see you again :D And yaay, questions!

My pen pressure broke again, I can't finish any sketches for this ask rn, but here's a couple of old messy designs.

1) Comforting and nightmares

Skeppy has a normal, I’d even say adequate level of fear towards wild animals, whilst Bad has it in negative numbers. And, yes, this fun juxtaposition leads to a lot of unfortunate moments of Skeppy nearly dying from heart attack when some of Bad’s animal friends show up unexpectedly, or Bad goes all out for his tea-parties with wild bears or smth.

So, yes, sometimes the comforting hugs are necessary! And no, none of them ever play up the dramaticness of the situation just to drag out the nice comforting moment They do n o t. That’d be very silly and unnecessary, and will deserve a lot of teasing. So, it’s all serious. Not only for the first couple minutes. Yes.

But If you’re looking for comfort-after-actual-hurt – Bad does have to hold and comfort Skeppy, when the stress of trying to not fuck up the good stuff around him gets too strong. And after the nightmares where they are hated and chased by people. Those dreams do not come often, but when they do, Bad is there to hold Skeppy, whisper in his hair that he is alright, that they’re both alright, and that they can handle everything that’s going on right now.

And Bad himself, well. After leaving the town, his nightmares about the night of the ritual stopped almost completely. They come rarely, only when the anxiety gets really bad. Before, in the forest, Bad had them pretty often. It’s one of the reasons he mostly slept not as himself, but in the minds of the animals.

2) Littering

Bad will not maim someone for not getting a candy wrapper in a trashcan, especially if there are people around. But if someone leaves a big mess in the nature, or even (*gasp*) does it regularly, Bad can and will try and teach them a lesson. As in: pull a cautionary (and probably slightly terrifying) prank on the misbehaving person.

It doesn’t always work out as Bad intended, and may even scare some people off anything relating to nature for good, but, according to Bad, it’s still “a fun and useful little hobby to have :3”.

3) Rat

Rat takes a looong time to warm up to any other animals that infringe on her territory. And Skeppy might be a little shit (and his own rights for Bad are debatable) but he is Rat’s territory still (by approximation from Bad). So, she can gatekeep Skeppy a little bit. Not as much as she does Bad, but the man gotta know his place – Rat comes before other dogs for him too.

4) Tree climbing and strength

Oh, Bad can an will climb down a tree like a full-on creepy creature he is: head down, using only his claws, with Skeppy tucked under one arm. Maybe not even upside down, if Skeppy is lucky, and wasn’t too annoying about wanting to stay up on the tree for the night :D

5) Meeting other spn creatures

Oh, that’s a big question (: Yes, they do meet other cryptids, befriend some, and get in trouble with some, and deal with a handful of new and old spn troubles :D

I always thought that Bad and Skeppy’s life after the main story can make a series of short stories (or one big episodic one) dealing with exactly that: the guys traveling around, meeting other cryptids, learning more about themselves and the world, trying to build a life between human and supernatural crisis going on. Just like In The Dark it can based on the mix between the real life and the minecraft-verse events.

I wanted to focus more on finishing the main story first, though, so these stories are not as sought through, I didn’t even write down any of them yet :D

But if you have more concrete questions, ideas, or suggestions (about a specific person, or a specific thing happening) – write me, I’ll think about it, and how it can work with the theme and worldbuilding I have in mind.

6) Stealing + Protectiveness

Skeppy can sometimes forget about, ahem, moral principles, or human decency… emphasis oh “human”. He’s nature and different worldview it gives, it seeps through in his life and actions even more with age. Especially after he’s been away from actual people for a long while. So, I guess, he might at times steal something that is very important to someone, or do something that could be considered weird or rude in general.

And if Bad really needs something, or is in danger – all rules are down. If there is no one to reality check Skeppy, he might proceed to walk on heads, and commit risky and reckless crimes just to help or save Bad.

They both are quite bad with that, the protecting each other thing. Bad, tho, can be more fiscally violent in his protectiveness.

7) Adrenaline and rollercoasters

Well, it’s not that Bad likes adrenaline specifically, he’s just very curious, likes to try new things, and is almost unkillable. So he can just- just go for everything that’s interesting for him with reckless abandon, and if it goes wrong – welp. Bones can heal limbs can regrow, and the cool abandoned caves will not explore themselves. He’ll have to learn to ease up with lack of selfcare though. Because Bad can’t always leave Skeppy to fend for himself, while he heals, and Skeppy does NOT like seeing Bad getting hurt so much, and not caring about himself at all.

This probably comes back to Bad dealing with his spn nature and learning to make peace between it and himself. And to his anxiety, and unhealthy coping mechanisms.

And hey, it’s the same for Skeppy and his lack of adequate moral compass at times :D

There will be a lot of tension and growing they’d have to do in regards to all this.

Also Skeppy is the one who’s really into chasing the thrills :D Man spent nearly half a year annoying probably-murderous-forest-spirit just for little not-boring fun, jeez :DD

Rollercoasters are a no go, tho. They go up in the air, real high, and, once again, Skeppy and highs do not mix, they do not mingle, they will not have tea parties (with or without bears). Unless, of course, Skeppy really needs to prove something. Then he’ll go on a ride, and die an honorable death, and will never admit he screamed all the way through it.

8) Dates

(*insert an innuendo from Skeppy here*) But, ahm, actually I’d say they love going on picnics: getting food, and hanging around in the nature for a while.

And I honestly donno what I like to think about the most… I just really enjoy the vibe and the atmosphere of the whole story, and how Bad and Skeppy interact in general.

It all is a real delight to write about :D

---

In The Dark - masterpost

[rllymilerlly]

Taang One Shot

Now I’m not much of a writer so this is pretty much my first fic ever. So please tell me things to fix if something isn’t right lmao. Also this is set in mine and @toph-beifcng WEFA AU. So check their stuff out 😎

———

Aang stared blankly at the computer screen in front of him. A minute passed by and the update progress bar still hadn’t moved. Aang was about to scream. He was pretty sure it was mocking him. His computer had to know that he had a deadline coming up. It knew that he had no inspiration. So it was going to make him sit there and wait, mocking him. Make him stare at a progress bar for an hour because what else was he going to do? It wasn’t like he had any actual ideas for a song anyways. He tried looking at his hundreds of songwriting notebooks, but none of those gave him the inspiration he desperately needed. He even went as far back as to his high school ones-where most of the songs consisted of teenage angst and his old unrequited crush on Katara.

At the thought of Katara, Aang had half a mind to call up her up and give her a piece of his mind. Why did she feel the need to put a deadline on his creative process? The GAang wasn’t even signed to anybody at the moment and nobody else had strict deadlines like he did. Sure they all had at least one solo piece done, while Aang had none, but Aang chose to ignore that. He was now convinced that Katara had it out for him, just like his computer.

He looked at his phone and the time read 2:35. Great, another 5 minutes passed by and the progress bar only moved one percent. Aang thought of himself as a gentle soul, but at this moment he wanted to chuck his PC out of his apartment window. But since he knew he couldn’t afford another one, he settled with pulling his beanie over his face and groaned in frustration.

“Sounds productive in here, Twinkle Toes,” a chill voice said behind him. Aang lifted up his beanie and turned around. His girlfriend was leaning against the doorframe across the room. She was wearing his iconic bright orange hoodie that was so big on her tiny frame that he could barely see her shorts poking through the bottom. Her hair was in her typical messy bun and looked like it was begging to be let down. Any other time Aang would be all over her but right now he wanted to suffer alone.

“Toph, can’t you see I’m busy? I don’t need your snarky commentary right now.” Aang sighed, annoyed, as he turned back to his unchanged computer screen.

“Well I mean I can’t see anything,” Aang groaned at the comment. “But I can practically feel your mopiness throughout the entire apartment. It’s practically oozing out of-”

“What do you want, T?” He interrupted. He really wasn’t in the mood. He could hear her approaching behind him and the next thing he knew a book was in his hand “What do you want me to do with this?”

“Now, and I could totally be wrong, but I’m pretty sure people typically read books” Toph stated with her arms crossed. Aang glared at her.

“Yes. I know that,” he was rubbing his temples struggling to hold back his temper, “but there is no reason for me to read right now. You know I have a deadline coming up. I cannot afford to-“

“I want you to read it to me. I can’t sleep.” Toph interrupted. Now that caused Aang to freeze up, he hadn’t expected that.

“Oh,” was all that Aang could manage out. His frustrations seemed to melt away momentarily. He looked at the book she handed him. It was The Princess Bride one of his favorites, “Hey, wait a minute, I got you the audiobook of this for your birthday.”

“So?” She huffed

“Soooo, can’t you listen to that?” he said looking back at her. Her face turned red as she looked down and mumbled. “What was that, T?”

“I said the guys voice is annoying” she said a little more confidently, but still looking down.

“Okay and? You say my voice is annoying all the time.” Aang said with a smirk. It wasn’t often he got to see his girlfriend so flustered.

“Yeah well he doesn’t do voices. How am I supposed to know who’s, who when his voice is just so monotone,” Toph pouted as she carefully sat down in the chair next to him. Aang was full on grinning at this point.

“I knew you secretly liked my voices” he started to laugh as she playfully elbowed him.

“Yeah, yeah, but don’t tell anyone that. I gotta reputation to keep.” She was still blushing like crazy, but couldn’t hold back her smile anymore. She grabbed his hand, “Now are you coming or what?” Aang looked at her suspiciously.

“Wait a minute is this all a ruse to get me to go to bed?”

“That depends, is it working?” Toph asked as she leaned her head against his shoulder. Aang leaned into her touch unconsciously. She was starting to make him think that going to bed might not be a bad idea. Then he made the mistake at looking at the computer screen. He almost screamed. It was done updating. He pulled away from Toph.

“I’m so sorry, Toph. You know I would love to, but I have to keep working or Katara will kill me. And honestly by extension she’d probably kill you too.” Aang couldn’t bare to look at her as he spoke. He knew if he saw the disappointment in her eyes he would immediately throw away all of his responsibilities and only do whatever she asked the rest of his life. Toph sighed and got up. Aang closed his eyes as she went behind him and wrapped her arms around him.

“I know. I understand you gotta focus. I’ll leave you to it,” she kissed the top of his head, “Goodnight, Aang.” And then just like that she was gone.

Aang sighed at the realization he was alone again. He tried to get to work by researching some of his previous inspirations, hoping that anything would catch his interest. But to no prevail. He was in the same exact position he was when his computer screen was nothing but an update bar. Except now he felt a little colder, a little emptier. He looked at the clock 3:42. He was getting nowhere and felt tears of exhaustion starting to form at his eyes.

Then all the sudden he felt something heavy rest on his lap. Aang looked down and saw two big brown eyes staring back at him.

“Oh hey, buddy” Aang said with a small smile as he started petting Appa’s head, “What are you doing up? Did Toph send you in after me?” Appa’s head lifted up at the mention of Toph and Aang laughed, “I’ll take that as a yes” Appa smiled at Aang’s laughter and apparently thought it was a great opportunity to jump up on the chair and start licking his face.

“Appa, please, get down.” Aang couldn’t stop laughing now as he tried to control Appa. He could barely breath. “You’re too big to be a lap dog. You’re going to make us fall.”

Finally, Aang gently pushed Appa off him. But Appa paid no mind he was wagging his big tail, excitedly.

”C’mon, buddy, you know you’re not allowed to do that while I’m in the desk chair,” he said still smiling while he wiped the slobber off his face. Appa nudged Aangs leg and Aang sighed knowingly, “I’m sorry buddy I’m busy. I got to get this done.”

Appa grunted in response and put a paw on his arm.

“Appa, please” Aang looked down at his fluffy buddy, hoping he’d understand. But he just got a whimper in response. Aang looked back at his blank screen. He was convinced the world truly had something against him. The Music Gods must have cursed him. Maybe he had to defeat all these tempting obstacles in order to achieve the creative inspiration he desired. But then out of the corner of his eye he saw it. Toph must have forgotten to take it back with her. On his desk was The Princess Bride. And in that moment Aang knew he had lost. Aang sighed in defeat as he closed his laptop, his tormentor. “Alright, buddy, you win,” he yawned, exhaustion suddenly catching up to him, “It’s time for bed.”

Appa happily lead the way to their room across the apartment. Aang couldn’t help but realize how messy his home was. He had been practically locked up in the make shift “office” for the past 2 days. So hadn’t been able to upkeep anything, he barely took care of himself. ‘Oh God did I even eat anything today?’ He thought to himself. ‘Oh wait I had Chinese, but I don’t remember leaving,’ he sighed regretfully ‘Toph must have gotten it for me.’

He could see a dim light coming from the cracked door of their room. Appa trotted in before him, pushing the door fully open. Aang leaned on the door frame and took in the sight. He couldn’t stop the smile on his face even if he tried. Toph was sitting up in bed with her headphones in. Her eyes were droopy but she had a small smile on her face as she was petting Momo, who was curled up on her lap, purring. They seemed so peaceful... and so tired. A small twinge of guilt formed in his stomach because he knew the only reason why they were up was because they were waiting for him. Appa jumped onto the bed and Toph’s eyes lit up and she took out one of her headphones. When Appa came over to curl up next to Toph, Aang could see the twinkle in her eyes die out when she realized it wasn’t him.

“You know, I can practically feel your mopiness throughout the entire apartment.” He teased with a small sad smile.

“Oh really?” Toph smirked and her eyes twinkled again

“Yeah it’s really distracting.” He started making his way to their bed. “I couldn’t get anything done because of it.” He sighed over dramatically as he sat on the bed, “But I guess I can’t blame you. I mean I am the best storyteller of all time. I would be upset too if I had to settle for less”

Toph rolled her eyes and snorted, “I don’t think I would consider you the ‘best of all time’, I’d say you’re more tolerable than anything.’

Aang gasped dramatically and put his hand to his chest. “My love, you offend me. Maybe I should go elsewhere, where my services are more appreciated.” Toph quickly grabbed his hand before he could even pretend to walk away.

“No.”

“Admit it, then” Aang teased her as he interlocked their fingers.

“Wasn’t what I said earlier enough,” she rolled her eyes, but scooted closer to him. Aang smiled and couldn’t help himself.

“I’m sorry. You see I suffer from short term memory loss and I don’t recall-“

“Twinkle Toes!” Toph interrupted, but Aang wasn’t going to back down. There was a beat of silence.

“I’m waiting~” He said in a sing song voice. There was another beat.

“Fine” Toph groaned putting her free hand on her face, “you’re the best storyteller”

“Of all time?” He questioned nudging her.

“That I know of,” she smiled squeezing his hand.

“I’ll take it,” he leaned in and kissed her forehead. After he kept his forehead against hers and looked into her pale green eyes and breathed her in. He truly believed in that moment that they were staring at each other’s souls. She was the only one that could ever see through him and he was the only one she ever let see her. He felt tears starting to well up in eyes again as his guilt from earlier overtook him because she looked as tired as he felt. He then wrapped his arms around her tightly as he continued, “I’m sorry about earlier. I’ve been so stressed out and I don’t even know what I’d do without you looking out for me.” Toph laughed into his shoulder.

“You’d probably get lost in that mind of yours,” she teased as she pushed away from him. “Now enough of this,” she gently wiped the tears from his eyes, “You got a story to read me, oh great story teller.” Aang laughed and picked up the book.

“Okay, Okay, gather ‘round folks,” Aang said in a terrible cockney accent. Toph laughed as they both got under the covers, “This tale sure is a doozy.”

“Are you going to use that voice the whole time?”

“You said ya liked my voices. So you better prepare yourself, sweetheart.”

“Oh God, I already regret this.” Toph groaned, but cuddled closer to him. Aang shushed her and began his favorite tale.

“The year that Buttercup was born, the most beautiful woman in the world was a French scullery maid named Annette...”

They did not get passed the second page before they were all passed out.

Aang sprung awake suddenly the next morning. It was like a lightning bolt, the moment he had been waiting for finally happened. He was struck with inspiration. He was about to dart out of bed before he forgot it, but then he realized all of his cuddle buddies around him. Toph laid on his chest with her arms wrapped around him, while Aang had one arm around her while the the other still barely grasping the book he was reading the night before. Momo was curled up right between them while Appa rested on their laps. Suddenly he couldn’t even bring himself thinking about getting out of bed. Katara could kill him right now and this moment would say that this was worth it. His cursed computer could wait a few more hours. He took a second to commit the image of all of them together to his memory before wrapping both of his arms around Toph, cuddling closer to her. Letting sleep once again overtake him.

[katsukis-sad-angel]

"get to know me uncomfortably well" 1-100 minus whatever questions you dont want to answer :D

ahem (original post)

1. What is your middle name? Therese Hildegard (yes i have two)

2. How old are you? 19

3. When is your birthday? May 22

4. What is your zodiac sign? The most introverted Gemini you can find

5. What is your favorite color? Purple

6. What’s your lucky number? 18

7. Do you have any pets? 2 beautiful rabbits named Asphodel and Genisys

8. Where are you from? NE Ohio

9. How tall are you? just about 5′5″

10. What shoe size are you? *sniffle* size 10, but my doc martins are size 11

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 4

12. What was your last dream about? all i remember is the guy i like holding out his arms to me for a hug, but before i could jump into his arms i woke up :(

13. What talents do you have? I’m a percussionist so I hit things to make pretty sounds and i guess i’m pretty good at writing 

14. Are you psychic in any way? no, why?

15. Favorite song? Fiending by Broken Transmitter and Just One Yesterday by Fall Out Boy at the moment

16. Favorite movie? ummmm gotta be big hero 6

17. Who would be your ideal partner? tall, dark, and handsome, a little muscular, not too much tho, at least a little taller than me who gives good hugs

18. Do you want children? yes

19. Do you want a church wedding? yes

20. Are you religious? yes

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? i had a seizure when i was 4. haven’t been there since

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? i mean i’ve broken laws but i’ve never been caught

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? CLIFFORD CHAPIN!!!!! MY LORD AND SAVIOR!!!

24. Baths or showers? both, first a bath to relax and then shower to actually get clean

25. What color socks are you wearing? none

26. Have you ever been famous? would you call 800+ followers famous?

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?  absolutely not

28. What type of music do you like? rock, the occasional j-pop, songs with a lot of bass i guess

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? HAH no

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2

31. What position do you usually sleep in? i fall asleep staring at the ceiling and wake up on my face

32. How big is your house? large enough for 6 kids, 2 parents, 2 rabbits, and the ghosts of 2 cats and 2 dogs 

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? something dad makes or a parfait from school

34. Have you ever fired a gun? nope

35. Have you ever tried archery? yep

36. Favorite clean word? rats

37. Favorite swear word? piss baby

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? in all 19 years of my existence, i have never once pulled an all-nighter. my body will just shut off, it doesn’t matter how much caffeine i drink

39. Do you have any scars? me and my curling iron have a love-hate relationship if you will

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? lmao

41. Are you a good liar? it depends, but usually yes

42. Are you a good judge of character? no. i’m way too trusting and give everyone the benefit of the doubt even when SEVERAL people tell me so and so is a bad person and i usually end up getting hurt because of it aha

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? i can talk like gordon ramsay if requested

44. Do you have a strong accent? i live in ohio. no.

45. What is your favorite accent? gordon ramsay

46. What is your personality type? an introvert who will fight you if provoked

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? something stupidly overpriced from hot topic probably

48. Can you curl your tongue? yes

49. Are you an innie or an outie? innie

50. Left or right handed? right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders? no but if i see one i will smack it with a shoe

52. Favorite food? pork ribs

53. Favorite foreign food? chinese food

54. Are you a clean or messy person? clean

55. Most used phrase? “so... there’s this guy...”  

56. Most used word? “rats” as a derogatory term or otherwise

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 30 minutes max

58. Do you have much of an ego? i try not to

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? bite. i dont want something in my mouth for that long

60. Do you talk to yourself? all the time

61. Do you sing to yourself? yes

62. Are you a good singer? i mean, i’m not necessarily bad

63. Biggest Fear? people that are upset with me and i don’t know why, hospitals, blood and other bodily fluids, dead things

64. Are you a gossip? yes

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? i watch anime, fool

66. Do you like long or short hair? on my men, as long as it’s not super long and nasty we’re good... women? i don’t care

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? yes. i have every animaniacs song memorized so, not to flex, but i can name all 50 states AND their capitals in SONG form

68. Favorite school subject? history

69. Extrovert or Introvert? introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? no but it sounds fun

71. What makes you nervous? not knowing where i am, deadlines, a teacher saying “i’m letting you form your own groups for a project this time and no you can’t work by yourself” 

72. Are you scared of the dark?  yes

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? as nicely as possible

74. Are you ticklish? yes

75. Have you ever started a rumor? nothing major but yes

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? no

77. Have you ever drank underage? my dad let me suck on his empty beer bottle when i was a baby and my grandpa gave me a little champagne on new years when i was 14 so maybe

78. Have you ever done drugs? no

79. Who was your first real crush? his name was mateo and he was perfect in every possible way...

80. How many piercings do you have? 4

81. Can you roll your Rs? yes

82. How fast can you type? pretty dang fast

83. How fast can you run? i can outrun all 3 of my brothers if that’s what you’re asking

84. What color is your hair? chestnut brown

85. What color are your eyes? dark brown

86. What are you allergic to? THOTS jk i’m not allergic to anything

87. Do you keep a journal? yes

88. What do your parents do? my mom is an independent web designer and my dad sells cars for ford

89. Do you like your age? i don’t have an issue with it

90. What makes you angry? stupid people, particularly stupid females, people in general, cuphead

91. Do you like your own name? no. ‘cass’ is just an alias... i wish it wasn’t

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? girls: Cassandra, Adrianne    boys: Mateo, Levi, Atilio

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? i don’t have a preference

94. What are your strengths? listening, organization, colorful insult creation, art maybe

95. What are your weaknesses? food

96. How did you get your name? annabella was an option but it was also the name of my dad’s bosses dog, sophia was an option too but mom didn’t like it over my actual name sooo 

97. Were your ancestors royalty? nah we were italian farmers that fucked around in syria for awhile

98. What nationalities are you? mostly italian but lets see i’m also irish, syrian, czechoslovakian, and a sprinkle of french

99. Color of your bedspread? cheetah print

100. Color of your room? gray

[littlelambdrgnfly]

Tumblr exclusive fic

Hey y’all! So I wrote this fic a couple of years ago on my ABDL tumblr (which I’m not sharing because I did at first and it quickly got weird because that’s where I reblog all my fap material lmao), and it’s just straight up humiliation smut. Warning: it does get messy. Hope you like it! <3

Love and Punishment

Something John had never anticipated about extreme fame was the immediate lack of privacy and time to himself. He had come to relish the times when he was able to hide in the restroom for even just five minutes without someone knocking on the door to usher him to the next concert, press junket, recording session, charity event, or competitive ass-kissing he and his bandmates were pressured into on a daily basis. Sometimes, even a toilet break at all was an unusual luxury—there were often times that he found himself unable to find even a few minutes to relieve himself, and he had to hold it in until he finally had to excuse himself.

Paul teased him about it regularly, especially when John had a close-call which happened more often than John would like to admit. When they roomed together, Paul would help John out of his clothes and inspect his underwear for wet spots, which were usually present. “You naughty boy,” he teased, “I should keep you in nappies all the time, shouldn’t I?”

John squirmed in his seat, thinking about the thick nappies Paul liked to dress him in and not about the growing pressure on his bladder. “I have to go to the loo!” he whined to Paul. They were on their way to the hotel from their concert; as soon as they had finished the performance, the boys were swept into two separate cars, John and Paul in one, with George and Ringo in the other.

Paul only smiled and squeezed John’s knee. “You can hold it, right? You’re not going to have a smelly accident all over the car seat, are you?”

John flushed bright red, glancing up front to see if the driver had overheard. “I’m not a baby!” he snapped. “I can wait to use the toilet!” Paul didn’t respond to that; John knew that he could have named any number of embarrassing things John had done that would refute his claim of adulthood. He and Paul started playing these baby games months ago, and it made John so excited, even though the same process was so shamefully humiliating. They didn’t usually play these games while they were on the road, and John was getting desperate for his infantile release. He didn’t say this to Paul—while Paul acted as his daddy and often got more excited than John while playing, he didn’t want to admit how much he needed it. It was all right when Paul invited him to stay the weekend at his house, wrapped his arms around him and whispered in his ear how much he wanted to treat John like a baby. Having to ask Paul for it himself was beyond him.

By the time they arrived at the hotel, John was in the middle of an awkward pee-pee dance as they went to check into their room. It was late, and the lobby was nearly deserted except for the bellboys whispering among themselves about the famous pop stars in their midst, and a pretty, dark-skinned girl behind the counter, probably not too much younger than the boys themselves. The other car was nowhere in sight.

“Welcome to Magnolia Inn,” the girl giggled, “my name is Carrie! And what’re your names—except everyone already knows your names! Oh gosh, I’m sounding so silly!”

“Not at all,” Paul replied, turning on his thousand-watt smile, and John knew he had immediately forgotten all about John’s “situation.” “I actually like to travel under the name ‘Paul Ramon,’ it adds a little more mystery, don’t you think?”

“Paul,” John whined, shifting his weight from leg to leg, “Paul, please, I gotta—”

“John, I’m talking to this young lady, you’re going to have to wait,” Paul scolded, and John felt a stab of pain in his bladder as his temper flared at the same time. Paul was supposed to care about him, take care of him! This girl, this stranger, could never need Paul the same way John did!

He felt the wet heat between his legs before he fully realized what was happening—he was pissing himself! Carrie trailed off in the middle of her sentence, staring at John’s trousers in shock. Paul glanced over at his friend, then did a double-take at the wet streaks running down John’s legs.

“Look at you! You can’t hold your pee for more than half an hour?!” he yelled, and John burst into tears. He had had accidents before, but almost entirely when he was black-out drunk or in a safe environment with Paul egging him on to just let go, never like this, with a pretty girl staring at him with giggles in her eyes and Paul scolding him for the whole world to see.

“What’s going on?!” a familiar Liverpudlian accent exclaimed, and John wished the floor would open and swallow him. George and Ringo stood behind him, eyes wide as saucers. They knew about his and Paul’s romantic relationship, but absolutely no one knew what they did behind closed doors.

“Little Johnny decided that his trousers would be the best thing to piss in, and he didn’t even want to wait until we got upstairs,” Paul said sarcastically. He finished filling in the necessary paperwork, slammed the pen down, and grabbed John’s wrist, dragging him to the elevator while John sobbed, looking back over his shoulder to see the entire lobby watching them, except for Carrie, leaning over the counter to inspect the large puddle he left behind.

“It was an accident!” John wailed as soon as the elevator doors slid closed. “I didn’t mean to!”

“Bullshit,” Paul snapped, lighting a cigarette. “Were you jealous that I was paying attention to that pretty girl and not you? I’ve never seen you do something so babyish, even when you cut up that girl’s clothing in Hamburg. You’re in for a nasty punishment, little boy.”

John couldn’t reply, he was crying too hard. He let Paul lead them to their bedroom with no arguments, sniveling like a naughty baby as Paul led him by the hand with his trousers sticking uncomfortably to his thighs. As soon as they entered, Paul flipped the lights on and made John stand before the full-length mirror on the wall.

“Look at yourself,” he ordered. “I want you to see the big baby I see.”

John forced himself to meet his reflection’s eyes—his face, bright red, streaked with tears, and trousers, streaked with piss—he knew Paul was right. He was a grown man, but he looked just like an oversized little boy.

“This is what everybody saw, Johnny,” Paul growled into his ear. “You want to embarrass yourself like this, that’s fine, but don’t you dare bring me into it. I thought I had a good little boy who knew that he was only supposed to have smelly accidents in his nappies, but everyone is going to think that Daddy Paul can’t control his big baby. What do you have to say for yourself, baby?”

True to his childish self, even through his tears and sobs, John choked out, “I told you I had to go! You weren’t listening to me!”

The minute he said it, he knew he shouldn’t have. Paul’s face clouded over, and within seconds, John’s wet trousers and underpants were around his ankles, and Paul was yanking him over to the bed and over his knee. “No! No!” he squealed, kicking his legs in a useless effort to free himself, but Paul held him down strong and tight, locking one of John’s legs between his own to make sure that his naughty boy didn’t escape until he had suffered his punishment properly.

“Naughty baby!” Paul grunted as he brought his open palm down on John’s bare bottom. John howled in pain, squirming on Paul’s lap. “Stay still and take your punishment!”’

Despite the pain and the overwhelming humiliation, John was painfully aware of how hard he had become. Having Paul, who was younger than him, who looked so much more innocent than him, dominate him so completely, treating him just like a misbehaving child… John was initially horrified to find how much this role play turned him on, and as time went on, it still shamed him to the core, but he became more and more desperate for even more embarrassing baby situations.

Paul sniffed the air dramatically. “Ugh, you smell like piss, and you’re getting it all over my trousers. You better not wet yourself while you’re on my lap, I haven’t forgotten. You’re going to be Daddy’s good baby and wait until you have your nappy on, aren’t you?”

John only sobbed and moaned into the mattress. Paul loved to bring up the time he wet himself during a spanking, but shushed John every time he tried to argue that he told Daddy that he had to pee-pee before the spanking, but Paul had assumed John was only saying that to get out of his punishment. He didn’t want to wear his nappy tonight, he knew George and Ringo would be coming to their room shortly to demand an explanation, but it was hopeless to argue with Paul on this. John knew very well what the punishment for wetting himself was, and while that was all well and good in Paul’s bedroom, the thought of his friends seeing him in his most embarrassing secret made his heart pound so hard, he thought he may be sick.

Paul finished his spanking with his usual soft tap on the middle of John’s bottom. “All right, baby, let’s get you in that nappy. My little boy is just a regular fountain, isn’t he!” He let John up and helped him out of his shirt, leaving him naked and still sticky from his accident. With practiced ease, Paul pulled a terrycloth nappy from his suitcase and prepared it for John. “Come here, little darling, lie down, right on the middle of your nappy, there’s a good baby! Such a smart little baby he is!”

It was then, as John lay naked on the floor on top of his open diaper, that there came a knock on the door. John started to sit up, but Paul held him down. “No, no, you’ve lost your big boy privileges for the night. Everyone downstairs saw you wet yourself like a baby, so they’re not going to be surprised to see you like this. This is what you wanted, isn’t it, Johnny?” He reached into his case and pulled out John’s oversized blue dummy, popping it into John’s mouth before he had a chance to react.

That was how George and Ringo saw him as Paul let them in the door. He wanted so badly to cry, but resisted by suckling the dummy in his mouth, using it for just its intended purpose.

“What the fucking hell is this?!” George cried, mouth agape. “Is this some kind of gag?”

“John, what’s wrong with you?” Ringo asked. He looked visibly disturbed, but also like he wanted desperately to burst out laughing. “You pissed yourself downstairs, and now… this? Did you lose a bet to Paul or something?”

“Oh no, it’s nothing like that,” Paul said, kneeling next to John with the baby powder and wipies. “Johnny here needs to be treated like a baby sometimes. It’s really the only way to properly discipline him. You remember what a terror he used to be? Well, a few nights in nappies really sorts this boy out.” He patted John’s bottom. “Legs up, baby, let Daddy wipe your wet bummy!”

John felt like he was on another planet when Paul lifted his legs and ran a cool baby wipe over his abused bottom, exposing him to George and Ringo. The humiliation was so deep, so intense, he felt like cold clay in Paul’s hands, and was unable to react when Paul spread his cheeks to inspect his little hole.

“Tsk, Johnny, you haven’t been wiping properly. This is why Daddy should be in charge of wiping all the time!”

“This is insane!” George exploded. “John, get up! You’re not a bloody baby; you’re twenty-five years old! How can you let Paul do this to you?!”

Even the dummy wasn’t helping now—John bawled behind his pacifier, tears streaming down his cheeks, even as Paul continued his diapering process. “George, John can tell me to stop anytime,” Paul said calmly, sprinkling a fine layer of powder over Johnny’s neatly trimmed pubic area. “All he has to say is ‘Paul, I want to be an adult,’ and I’ll immediately stop. But he’s not going to say that, because as embarrassing as this is, Johnny loves being a baby. He’s actually quite a sweet baby, when he’s not being a naughty little stinker, and I love being his daddy. Even though I have my hands very full with this big baby’s nappies!” He tickled John’s chubby tummy, and John giggled despite himself.

 “He actually uses those nappies?” Ringo asked in obvious disgust. “He shits himself and everything?”

“Oh yes, he was reluctant to it at first, but now little Johnny loves to do his poo-poos in his nappy, don’t you, love? In fact, that reminds me…” He reached over to his suitcase once more to pull out his medicine kit, and from within it, a small jar of large pills. “Johnny has a long night of punishment ahead of him for that stunt he pulled in the lobby, and these suppositories are perfect for a naughty boy who likes to potty in his pants. Would the two of you like to stay?”

John whined loudly in fear as George and Ringo looked to each other, then back to their friends on the floor. “We won’t…” George started, hesitantly. “We won’t have to change him, will we?”

 Paul laughed. “Not unless you want to! But believe me, you don’t want to.” And with that, he swiftly slipped the suppository deep into John’s bum and pinned the diaper closed. “The only rule is that you won’t tell anyone what you saw here tonight. The only reason I’m letting you two see this is because you’re our closest friends, and we trust you. This isn’t hurting John, it’s about loving him and disciplining him the way he needs.” He sat John up, still red-faced from crying, and kissed his cheek. “We do love you, Johnny,” he cooed, stroking his hair back. “Even though you’re a naughty baby, we love you.”

Ringo crouched down in front of John, eyes twinkling in amusement. “Hullo there, baby Johnny. I’m your Uncle Ritchie, do you remember me?”

John only blushed and sucked shyly on his dummy. Even just a year ago, he never would have dreamed this would be happening! Ringo reached out and grasped John’s diapered crotch, making the boy gasp.

 “He is rather excited by all of this,” Ringo remarked to Paul, acting like John couldn’t hear them, or rather, that he was too young to understand. “I thought it may have just been from the nappy change, Zak gets little stiffies when he’s getting his dirty pants changed too.”

 “He does usually get a stiffy when I’m changing him,” Paul said nonchalantly, standing up but making no motion to help John from the floor. “Has Zak ever pissed on you while it’s up? Johnny’s gotten it all over my shirt before.”

John whined loudly, and hid his face behind his hands as the other boys laughed. “Sorry, Johnny, this is just what parents do!” Ringo chuckled. “They all talk about their little one’s most embarrassing moments… It’s just that usually the little one in question is too young to remember it happening!”

“So… he does really like this?” George sounded less angry than before, and John peeked through his fingers to look at him before quickly hiding again. “He gets off on it? And you do too?”

Paul hummed in agreement, and ran the tips of his fingers through John’s hair. “It’s really not as bad as you think it is, even the messy aspect of it. It was a process. It started with giving Johnny a spanking when he misbehaved and… ended up like this.” He bent over, stuck his hands beneath John’s armpits and hoisted him to his feet. “Oof, come on, darling! Your punishment isn’t over yet—it’s Corner Time.”

“No, Daddy, pwease!” John cried, the words muffled behind his dummy. Paul didn’t listen, of course, and John found himself with his nose pressed to the corner of the wall, tears streaming down his face as everyone else laughed and Daddy told him he had thirty minutes of punishment left.

“God, he looks just like an overgrown baby,” George commented, lighting a cigarette, and John heard the other boys follow suit. “This is seriously perverse, Paul.”

 “Aw, it’s not as bad as all that, Georgie. You know John didn’t have a dad growing up… This is therapeutic for him as much as anything. Have you ever seen John cry before? This makes it so much easier for him to let go of all his troubles and just focus on little baby things instead.”

“What does he like to do?” Ringo asked, voice brimming with glee. “Does he drink from a bottle?”

“Of course he does! Sometimes I’ll feed him from a bottle even when we’re not playing, he just loves it so much. He always wants to be sucking on something, whether it’s his bottle, or his dummy, or thumb, or even just my cock.”

John heard someone choke on their drink, and the three of them burst into laughter as John burned in shame in his corner. His cock ached against his soft nappy, and while Daddy was distracted, he rubbed his crotch gently, trying to get even the slightest bit of stimulation, but Daddy was much too vigilant.

“Ah-ah, Johnny! Hands behind your back, little boy!” Johnny obeyed with a sob, and heard Paul explain, “Johnny isn’t allowed to play with his pee-pee either. He knows that belongs to Daddy, and only Daddy is allowed to touch it.”

 There was movement from behind him, and moments later, John felt someone’s hot breath on his neck. “Is that true, Johnny?” George whispered into his ear, and John shivered, the reverberations of George’s voice going straight to his groin. There was a heavy smell of liquor of George’s breath, and it took all the strength he had not to turn around. “You like your nappy so much, but Paul won’t let you play with your… Your little pee-pee…” John tried not to moan as George groped between his legs; he didn’t fight, only rolled his hips against George’s hand, attempting for even the slightest bit of gratification.

But just then, as George kissed his sweaty neck, he broke wind so loudly, he was afraid it might have been heard from the hallway. Paul and Ringo burst out in hearty guffaws as George leapt back. “Christ Almighty, John!” he cursed. “Are you not potty trained at all?!”

John wailed in humiliation and whirled around to defend himself. “It’s not my fault! It’s the supp—”

“Back in the corner!” Paul thundered, and John did as he was told, cowering pathetically, slightly smaller farts filling his nappy. It wasn’t far away now.

“Daddy, please, please let me go to the potty!” John begged, shifting his weight from side-to-side. “Please Daddy, I don’t want to use my nappy!”

“Now now, Johnny,” Ringo said, “there’s no shame in using a nappy for what they’re meant for!”

“Thank you, Ritchie, that’s what I’ve been telling him for ages! You heard Uncle Ritchie, Johnny, go ahead and make your messy in your nappy. Daddy and your uncles will be here to change you.”

John moaned loudly; the thought of little Georgie, whom he had always treated as a child, an inferior, changing his shitty nappy, fried his brain, so deliciously humiliating that he would have done absolutely anything he was told. He squatted down, nose still deep in the corner of the room, and took a big breath as he began filling his nappy in front of his closest friends.

“He’s doing it!” Ringo cried. “Bloody hell, I wish I had my Polaroid!”

Paul was next to John instantly, kissing his cheek and stroking his hair. “That’s it, little darling, push all that nasty mess out. Daddy is so proud of you! Go poo-poo in your nappy like a good little baby!”

“Daddyyy,” John whined, tears still falling from his eyes, every squelching, rumbling noise that came from his backside making his scrunch his face up in shame.

“Daddy’s right here, lovey.” He patted John’s already-drooping bottom. “Get it all out, baby.”

 “Christ, that’s rank,” George muttered. “Hey Ringo, what smells worse, John or one hundred babies?”

“Oh, John, for sure! Babies have simple diets, but I see what John puts away on an average day!”

“Shh, Johnny, just ignore them,” Paul whispered, as John whimpered and sobbed. “You’re Daddy’s precious little boy and I love you no matter how stinky you get.”

It took several minutes of John pushing and straining to get all of the mess out of his system, Paul comforting him all the while. When he finally stood back up, the back of his nappy hung low on his hips, stained brown. George and Ringo hooted and hollered with laughter.

“There you go, little sweetheart,” Paul cooed, patting his nappy again. “Doesn’t the baby feel much better now that he has an empty tummy?”

John nodded and whimpered through his tears, “Uh… Uh-huh…”

“You were so good, honey, so Daddy hates to do this…” He checked his watch. “Daddy will change you in just fifteen minutes.”

John wailed babyishly, and Paul gave him a sharp smack on his messy bottom. “Don’t make me get the dummy ribbon!”

 “Dummy ribbon?” Ringo inquired.

“Johnny has a tendency to take his dummy out and complain if I don’t strap it in somehow. I found a lovely pink ribbon that I can tie around the clip of his dummy and then back around his head. You don’t want your uncles to see your dummy ribbon, do you, Johnny?”

John shook his head but didn’t answer. The mess against his arse felt disgusting, and he feared it was so full, the nappy may fall off his hips altogether, exposing his messy bottom to all of his friends. Despite the revolting load in his nappy and the most frightful humiliation he had ever experienced, John had never been this hard in his life. He spent the last fifteen minutes of Corner Time trying not to listen as Daddy Paul regaled George and Ringo with stories of his babyish habits and exploits, and trying not to brush the front of his diaper against the wall for any sort of relief.

“All right, baby, time’s up!” John turned around to see the three other men smiling wolfishly at him. “Now let’s get that nappy changed, shall we?”

Paul led him on shaking legs back to the towel that marked his changing spot on the floor, and grimaced as he sat his full weight into the mess in the back of his nappy. He understood why babies cried when they needed a change, he felt so perfectly helpless and disgusting that he couldn’t do anything but lie on the floor and suck on his dummy while Paul gathered his diapering supplies.

 “So what do you say?” Paul asked. “Do you guys want to help me with this?”

Ringo finished the rest of his drink in one large gulp. “I’m game. Two kids have inured me against being disgusted by shit.”

Paul turned his doe-eyes onto his youngest friend. “Georgie?”

George drew out a long, guttural groan, before saying, “Fine, if everyone else is…”

John lay perfectly still as Paul unpinned his nappy, and for a brief second, he hoped that he would start laughing and tell the other boys to leave so he could give John the privacy he deserved. That fleeting hope was gone the moment Paul pulled the front panel of his nappy open, and the full extent of his mess, and his leaking little erection, was revealed.

“Man alive!” George cried, waving a hand in front of his face. “He smells worse than a thousand stadium loos!”

Paul laughed. “You should smell him after he’s eaten beans! Now, both of you take a leg, and hold it up. We want to make sure Johnny gets nice and clean after his stinky accident!”

John’s legs were raised high in the air as Paul pulled on a pair of thick latex gloves. John could tell that Ringo and George were staring at his messy little hole and privates, but by now, he was almost too far gone to care. He squirmed under their scrutiny and the cool baby wipe that Paul ran over his bottom, but otherwise lay still, suckling his dummy peacefully.

“There we go, lovey,” Paul crooned. “Daddy and your uncles are going to make you all clean! Then we can give you a nice little cummy for being so good during your punishment before Daddy puts you in your nighttime nappy.”

 John gurgled and cooed happily from behind his dummy, even as George and Ringo laughed. “Oh, I think the baby likes his cummies,” George said. He stroked John’s chubby thigh with his finger, smiling when John turned his half-lidded gaze to him.

Soon enough, John’s bottom passed inspection and Paul threw the overloaded diaper in the trash, and in the back of John’s mind, he reminded himself to leave a very big tip for the maid in the morning. “Keep his legs up,” Paul ordered, and produced a small, bright yellow egg, that with a deft twist of his fingers, started to magically vibrate. Paul knelt on the floor and pushed the egg deep into John’s bum, making him pant and squirm on his makeshift changing mat.

“Now come, darling,” Paul said. “I want you to give your uncles a nice thank-you prezzy for helping change your stinky nappy! Ask them if they want a blowie?”

John sat up, and said in his most childish voice, “Uncle Ritchie, can I please give you a blowie?”  

Ringo grinned and stroked John’s cheek before unzipping his fly. “Now, how could Uncle Ritchie ignore such a sweet request? Go ahead, little Johnny, it’s all yours.”

John immediately started to bob and suck along the length of Ringo’s cock, the toy vibrating inside him making him sloppy and inexact, but no one expected more from a big baby. He tried to take it deeper, but choked, gagging around the shaft. Within minutes, Ringo’s large cock exploded all over John’s face, covering his cheeks, bridge of his nose, and lips with strings of white cum.

 “Daddy!” John exclaimed, wide-eyed. “Daddy, my face is sticky!”

 Paul and Ringo laughed. “It certainly is, darling!” Paul gushed, and wiped his boy’s face sweetly. “Now it’s Uncle Georgie’s turn.”

John turned to George shyly. “Uncle Georgie… Uncle Georgie, can I…

“Yes, go on,” Paul encouraged.

“Can I suck on your... Your baba?” John whispered, mouth dry.

“Fuck,” George whispered in return. “Fuck, Paul, I’m sorry I said what I did, I think I understand perfectly now.” And with that, he took the back of John’s head, fingers intertwining with his thick hair, and urged John’s mouth onto his cock.

John bashfully sucked on the head of George’s cock, so much larger than his own. He glanced up at his younger friend, and George let out a loud moan. “That’s it, little baby, suck it,” he growled, and John regained his nerve, bobbing his head up and down until George spilled his spunk into John’s mouth, and this time, John was able to swallow all of it.

“What a good boy,” Paul murmured, helping John to his feet and wrapping him up in his arms. His little cock was so eager for release, it looked painful to the touch, and a large pearl of pre-cum clung to the tip. Paul sat on the edge of the bed, and sat John down on his knee. John moaned as the egg pressed deeper inside him, buzzing against his prostate, and Paul took a firm grasp of his cock.

 “Baby has Daddy’s permission to cummy,” Paul whispered in his ear, and that was all it took. With a loud, quivering gasp, John finally found the release he had been waiting for since Paul had pulled him over his knee.

“Good baby,” Paul said, kissing the side of his head. “Now stand up for Daddy…” John did as he was told, and Paul bent him over to remove the egg from his bottom. His legs felt like jelly, and as soon as he started returning to his senses, he was hyperaware of George and Ringo watching him.

“Now we’ll get the baby in his nighttime nappy, and it’ll be time for night-night,” Paul said firmly, laying John back down on the bed. “Do you want to thank your uncles for taking care of you?”

“Th-thank ‘oo, Unca Ritchie. Thank ‘oo, Unca Georgie.”

Ringo smiled gently, and leaned down to kiss John’s forehead. “Think nothing of it, Baby Johnny.”

George stared at Paul. “Aren’t you going to get off too?”

Paul smiled as he unfolded a fresh nappy and slid it under John’s bum. “I will, just later. Daddies have to put their babies’ needs ahead of their own desires.” He quickly and expertly diapered John, and with a burst of baby powder, one would never know how foul he had been only a short while before.

George bent over to kiss John’s forehead just as Ringo did, then after a second, pressed another to his lips. “Good night, Baby Johnny. I’m sorry if I was mean to you tonight.”

“It’s okay, Unca Georgie,” John whispered. “I wuv you…”

George smiled widely. “And I love you too.”

Paul showed the other boys out of the room, saying his own good nights and reaffirming their itinerary for the following morning, before coming back and tucking John under the covers.

“I’m so proud of you for being such a good boy during your punishment,” he said, pulling his clothes off until he was nude, his erection stiff against his abdomen. “You’ve come such a long way in your baby training.”

John smiled sweetly as Paul snapped off the light and crawled into bed with him, spooning him close from behind. “Uncle George and Ringo won’t tell anyone, will they?”

“Of course not, baby. They would never do that to you.” John could feel Paul’s erection poking him insistently through his nappy, and he let Paul turn him on his front with no arguments.

Paul took one of the pins from his nappy and pulled it down enough for John’s arse to be exposed. With a little lube, he slid into John’s relaxed hole with ease, groaning with pleasure. “I’m so happy you’re my naughty little baby, Johnny,” he panted, thrusting into his boy. “I love getting to punish you and make you my good boy.”

John cooed in happiness. He had inhabited many identities thus far in his short life—troublemaker, teddy boy, pop star, troubled artist… But somehow, by no narrow margin, being Paul’s good boy was the best of all.  

[skullsnsunbeams]

Please enjoy the first part of my commentary of Outer Banks. I'm going to post eps. 6 through 10 in a second post so as to keep within the text limit. Disclaimer: I started this show because I wanted to see what all the hype was; I won't lie, I thought it was dumb and cliche throughout most of it. However, since I've finished I can safely say that I NEED A SECOND SEASON BC HOLY FUCK BRO. Don't come at me for MY OPINIONS, & also, most of what I say is in the spur of the moment. If you wanna come talk to me about the show I will GLADLY DO SO

Ep 1:

• Ragtag group of friends, including a girl that the 3 other guys wanna bang, and she's also a rich girl but she "doesn't fit in" with that crowd so she hangs with the down and out guys

• "Kid from the wrong side of the tracks falls for rich girl"

• A 27 year old playing a teenager, the usual

• One of the main guys in this is HOT

• In a basic white dude way

• He's the asshole bad boy of the show and I want him to BRB THERE'S A FIGHT

• I bet he's a genuine good guy tho

• HE'S A DUMBASS SO NOW I'M IN LOVE

• ADINA PORTER

• The main protagonist looks like james from BTR

• His face is too small for his head

• His best friend (JJ?) moaned about 20 minutes in and I haven't been the same since

• I have to watch ep 2 to decide if I'm gonna genuinely enjoy this or hate watch

Ep. 2

• I'm getting Flight 29 Down vibes

• The narration is kinda, too much? Like if I need to be guided by it, that means the writers didn't do such a good job

• "wHaT dO yOu KnOw AbOuT tHe CoMpAsS!?"

• This Sarah chick is fucking annoying

• Annoying rich bitch wants attention and she's fucking so fucking CLICHE

• This little sister is FUCKING AGGRAVATING

• We got our sleezy bad guys, ofc

• "Ratter" ooof course that's his name

• THEY'RE STEALING SHIT

• HE JUST KILLED A CHICKEN

• I'm literally crying right now AHAHAHAH fuck

• Sarah's douche bf has HIGHLIGHTS

• His name is Topper which I ironic bc he's def a bottom

• SO FUCKING CLICHE AND I HATE IT SO MUCH AND I'M SO ANGRY ABOUT IT???

• THIS KID HAS A HACKEY SACK WHAT KINDA 2000s MOVIE IS THIS

• Why is this so dramatic

• Like for whaaaaat

• There was ONE kiss and now I wanna make out with someone wtf quarantine is killing me

• John B. is growing on me

• Curse me being for a White Man's Whore

• Oh no Ward is HOT

• Please let him turn out to be a decent man bc I don't trust rich white men as far as I can throw em

• John B runs weird????

• OHP THERE'S OUR BADDIES

• Cue Poppy's Voicemail

• My mom just came in and asked me to tone it down but I told her it's not in my nature and she said " *sigh* I know"

• FUCK THE POLICE

• don't give it to her John B

• ACAB

• I knew he wouldn't be able to give it up, we wouldn't have a show then!

• "Back in the friend zone" I'm hollering

• A snake!

• "Stop barking at the snakes" JJ IS SO DUMB

• And now Kie is going into the grave

Ep. 3

• There would be spiders everywhere realistically

• THESE DUDES ARE EVERYWHERE BRO

• Ah it's just grave diggers

• JJ. Is so. Dumb.

• Fuck bro I'm cryin

• Pope is an angel

• Sarah needs to shut up

• Her sister also needs to shut up

• TO THE BIG KAHUNA

• Is JJ wearing a shark tooth necklace

• ONLY 900 FEET

• Dumb idiot bitch is vomiting too calmly

• This kid, Rafe? Annoying and useless

• Sarah's brother???

• HE BOUGHT A MOTORCYCLE WITH THE GENERATOR MONEY WHAT A PRIVILEGED CUNT

• He's a drug dealer, ofc he is

• ANOTHER CLICHE

• Creepy security guard. Wonderful.

• Always gotta help the young pretty girl

• JJ lying about being abused, or is he really? Either way it's lowkey smart

• HE'S LYING. HIS FAKE CRYING? BELIEVABLE. KUDOS TO YOU, JJ

• That is a human hand

• They're gonna get hurt lmao

• Yayo? Tf is yayo? Some slang for coke?

• I googled it, it's Spanish slang for cocaine lmaoooo I'm dumb

• TOPPER SAID I LOVE YOU AND SARAH DIDN'T SAY IT BACK

• Mmmmmm love when guys get MAD because she took back her yes!!!

• "Tastes like bananas"

• I don't like this kid but I feel bad that he was pressured into this

• POPE LIKES KIE

• Dead bodies oh yeah

• AND THE THUNDER ROLLS

• Ofc Rafe is causing problems

• I think Topper isn't so bad and may just be a product of his environment

• Nevermind FUCK HIM FOR HURTING POPE

• Those surfing shots are cool

• Little fishies

• Pope is so cute and adorable

• THAT'S A BIG STORM

• Uh uh, no thank you

• They're gonna lose the camera

• Do you ever have anxiety

• Oh shiiiit there she is

Ep. 4

• John B has pretty freckles

• "On what grounds?" "On solid grounds, on holy grounds" (ON THE GROUNDS OF BROOKLYN, YOUR HONOR)

• Wait how old is he, even?

• HE DO BE RUNNIN

• Poor Jorge

• That was a very fake jump

• "That's not ideal" he's such a goob

• "Why is this my fault?" "Because it usually is." Oof

• Rafe just said Pope needs to take some personal responsibility. IS HE LISTENING TO HIMSELF? THE IRONY

• This bitch.....is putting rubbing alcohol on the wound? Not peroxide?

• He slapped her hand I'm crying

• I'm sorry but bitches need to mind their business

• I S2G IF THEY HURT POPE I WILL END THEM

• This is so messy

• Why did I think she was gonna flash the guy

• Rafe def likes Kie

• "It might go down tonight" I love this over dramatic shit

• Ward was poor once too, wah wah

• John B is going crazy

• Well the sharks didn't do shit

• Ofc they're going shopping

• "I'll sugar mama you"

• This is actually funny, but I can feel the tension

• "You almost killed him HAHAHAHAH" shut the fuck up you pussy bitch

• Aw he shook the librarian's hand what a good bub

• Of course the stupid rich mom wants to press charges

• FUCK THIS IS BULLSHIT

• JJ I LOVE YOU

• YOU'RE DUMB BUT I LOVE YOU

Ep. 5

• So there was a kiss. Nice.

• JJ's dad is gonna beat his ass and Susan is gonna feel bad

• YUP THERE IT IS. THAT'S A LOT OF BLOOD.

• I wanna hug JJ so bad

• Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

• DIRTY COPS

• AW THAT HUG, THAT SMOOCH. I LOVE JJ AND POPE

• I hope Rafe d*es

• The dude who plays Topper is a good actor

• JJ IS SO DUMB I LOVE HIM

• Denmark Tanny was a G

• John B do B lyin

• Ward knows, ofc he fucking knows

• A SAFE BEHIND THE PAINTING

• OH MY GOD WARD WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED THOSE GUYS

• ahhhh drinking and driving love it

• Topper is about to do some moronic shit

• She's not there, she did the pillows under the covers trick

• OH NO IT'S HER SISTER

• "I'm not a jealous guy" sure

• He's spilling his heart out rn

• HE'S LYING TO KIE'S FACE

• Ofc Wheezie snitched, again

• Topper looks like he's gonna murder someone

• BRO HE JUST FELL????

• Did your "short fuse" make you murder those dudes?

• He's gonna be a KOOK

• UH UH, WARD IS SUS

[thinger-strang]

no one dies and everyone's gay au

Nancy finds Barb when she gets stuck in the Upside Down when she's in the forest with Jonathan (don't ask me about the logistics) and so Steve ends up finding Jonathan and Barb in Nancy's room? And he's confused because at first he'd just seen Jon and thought Nancy was cheating but then he saw Barb walk into the room? (traumatic sleepover time! except Jon stays on the ground and Barb and Nance cuddle on the bed bc they're best friends and BARB WAS MISSING FOR LIKE TWO DAYS I THINK? she deserves snugs)

But Tommy and Carol started talking about how Nancy was probably sleeping with both, everyone knew Barb was the biggest d*ke in Hawkins, Nancy probably got curious about the other side!

He doesn't necessarily agree but still doesn't stop Tommy from spray painting the theater (because Nancy still lied to him? Lying generally meant there was something? going on? idk Steve's just confused and a little hurt rn)

The rest of the season goes pretty much the same, Barb's just there trying to not die and trying to help the Gang™ find Will and fight this bitch ass demogorgon (I don't think she's really be part of the Nancy and Jonathan luring it to the house and fighting it, she'd help with set up and the plan but I think she'd fuck right off when it comes down to facing it, she's had enough monsters for one life time thx)

But she'd so wanna help get Will out so she's there with Joyce and everyone talking to El while she's in the bath finding Will and talking Hop and Joyce about the Upside Down

(and she's been to the hospital, she didn't get a face sucking monster thing so she recovered quicker? idk don't ask logistics again lmao)

But she and Will end up getting along and sometimes when she's hanging out with Nancy and the party comes over she'll say hi to Will and like ruffle his hair

(also I want a little scene after the big monster hunting trip scene where a) Nancy and Jonathan explain everything to Steve and b) where Steve sees Barb again and pulls her into the biggest hug and starts like apologizing for not paying attention that night and for letting her get taken and even though she assured him it wasn't his fault he still feels guilty about it, it was his house, he should have helped her bandage her hand or something? idk but this right here is the beginning of the Barb/Steve friendship and the start of the "fall of King Steve")

cue s2

and so the four get really close, Jonathan and Steve are actually friends (idk what s2 was pulling but they're friends) and Barb talks to Nancy about Steve and Jonathan and Nancy ends up breaking up with Steve way earlier (bc you know none of that drama would have happened if Barb was there so)

But they're all still good friends, Steve's cool about the break up, and Nancy and Jonathan get together but it's not like right after? so it's all chill and they all went through a dramatic experience together so they remain close knit yeah

and Barb eventually comes out to them (everyone's supportive obviously) and Steve's is ready to throw down with anyone for her

cue Billy

the four of them are sizing up the new guy, Nancy doesn't really care, Jonathan thinks his hair is a little ridiculous (which I mean, that first day? when he steps out of the Camaro? yeah it was a lil rough), Barb can see right through his macho bullshit, and Steve? has a little bi meltdown. bc this kid has definitely had boy crushes before and knows he likes both (kid listens to queen of course he knew he was bi lmao)

blah blah blah s2 happens, Barb, Steve, and Billy have the same English class and Billys generally quiet during school, kinda stand-off-ish, only really bugs people during gym/basketball, but he literally sits in the back and does absolutely nothing during class and still somehow has the highest grade

(FUCK him and Barb get paired for a project and she fucking calls him out? like she's just like you're gay I'm lesbian you can cut the crap around me and they become...not friends? but they have solidarity, they're cool)

and I'm a slut for this trope but BILLY FIGHTS DEMODOGS WITH THEM lmao he hears Max sneak out and follows her and finds her in the junkyard armouring up a bus with fucking Harrington and a couple of nerds? and like the sun is setting and he needs to get Max home so he's like "Maxine! I don't know what the fuck this is and I don't fucking care, we gotta go!" and the four are like yelling at him to either leave or get in the bus! and he's so confused, I'm not here to play games Max! and Steve's running out of the bus with a FUCKING NAIL BAT WHAT THE FUCK HARRINGTON? And Steve's like behind you! and swings at a demodog. Billy has a borderline panic attack before he finds like a fender or exhaust pipe or whatever and starts swinging too

the dogs run away and Billy rounds onto Steve like what the living shit was that? and Steve has to explain everything with Dustin and Lucas interrupting and Max shrugging and trying to understand too? it's a mess

s2 continues with Billy and with HOPPER NOT BEING ABLE TO STAND HIM bc he's caught him speeding and underage drinking and shit and Billy's nervous as hell around cops which makes him mouthy and ITS A MESS

they're all at Joyce's (Barb's there too bc Will's possessed and they need to check up on her too? and she's concerned for Will anyway yeah she's in this too) and El shows up and Steve and Billy are just like what? another one? who the fuck? like Steve heard about her but this isn't a tiny child without hair??? idk it's funny

BILLY WITH AN AXE IN THE TUNNELS

(obviously Steve isn't passed out and the kids don't drive the car, it's Billy's awful impulse control that leads to them going into the tunnels)

okay I couldn't decide where to put Barb here? so I left her with Steve and Billy to babysit and she ends up in the tunnels too? and she's def handling it better than the boys are fuck yeah

Steve has his bat and is in front and Billy found an axe in the pile of shit from the Byers' shed and he pulls up the end

it's awesome

yada yada Steve and Billy end up becoming weirdly good friends by the end and he's good with him and Barb, idk about Nance and Jon but eh

s3 now

Billy ends up getting two jobs; lifeguard and cook at Benny's (bc he's alive too, fight me bitches this is the ultimate fix it) and Barb ends up working as a waitress there too (and working together builds the weirdest bonds so they are besties now)

everything in s3 is pretty much the same but with diner scenes too? and like all the Hawkins moms swarm Benny's too and leave lipstick stains on their kitchen tips and "send my compliments to the chef *wink*"

Billy eats it up but Barb can tell he also kinda hates it bc he's barely 18 and not even remotely into women and it makes him super uncomfortable but publicly he "loves" it (he starts wearing tank tops to the pool and tries to hide out in the kitchen but it really doesn't work)

he still gets caught up with the mind flayer but it's not bc he's about to sleep with Karen bc ew, idk why he's driving out by the warehouse idk maybe he's out on a drive bc he can't sleep yeah

anyway he gets caught up but like he knows, or kind of knows, what this is and calls in sick to both jobs and talks to Hopper bc WHAT THE FUCK isn't the gate closed? I got face fucked my an interdimensional monster so unless you know where the fuck that came from?? and they deal with it earlier (most of the shit still happens but it's less...messy? like Hop and Joyce are more involved in the Billy shit and Steve knows about it?)

Steve still gets caught up with the Russians (I don't think he'd have a chance to tell anyone (specifically Hopper) bc he finds out about Billy then the elevator stuff happens like right after and yada yada)

so for most of the season it's them trying to actually help Billy! and they end up saving a lot of people? (specifically Heather bc she was really nice to Billy and I want he to live fight me it's my au)

but enough people get melted and shit that starcourt still get destroyed blah blah blah!

but Billy makes it and so does Hop and Alexie (no one dies au) and they all end up doing the thing in the mall like they did in the shed with Will? like breaking Billy out? Barb talks about working at the diner and their secret and Steve talks about them hanging out and playing basketball and the tunnels and Max talks about Billy buying her a new board and them scream-singing along to ACDC in the Camaro and the kids mention him giving them rides and shit and yeah! El talks about his mom and that's it! Joyce and Hop close the gate while Billy's holding the one arm (he doesn't get stabbed in the chest, as cool as that scar would be, no...but he gets some on his hands and upper arms and his sides?)

(also Billy's drinking like bleach rn so they try and reverse that as much as possible while he's possessed so that he has a better recovery later bc no! chlorine is not good for you! and Billy tries so hard to not drink it but sometimes he can't fucking stop? idk but he has a support system now!)

and Robin came out to Steve and Steve comes out to her too? like kinda? he alludes to it vaguely bc he's so not ready to be out to anyone FUCK

And Billy comes out to Steve (he was planning on doing it earlier that summer but shit happened)

and Robin becomes friends with everyone (ITS ROBIN X BARB HOURS BITCHES)

(OKAY small like side shit? Benny and Hopper have known each other for years and Benny's like one of the only registered foster parents on Hawkins so he ends up fostering a lot of wayward kids while Hop figures out legal stuff (he hasn't adopted anyone yet but him and his husband (yeah Benny's gay deal with it) really want to? they just haven't yet, all the kids they take care of end up in their care temporarily) BUT Hop finds out about Billy and Max's home life (I know a lot of people write that Neil wouldn't hit Max but...nah son not how that works? idk but he needs to get them out? and Neil's bad to Susan too (he's the worst to Billy but still bad to Max and Susan) anyway Hop helps Susan leave Neil (it takes a while and Billy and Max end up with Benny for a little bit while the divorce is going down and all the legal shit yeah it's safer out of the house rn) long story short Billy ends up staying with Benny after everything and ends up getting adopted (they're like we know you're 18 and you don't need a guardian but if you want we can be your dads? and Billys like yeah sure that'd be nice and yeah) Hop ends up being a weird like uncle figure? idk like I said him and Benny are close and they both adopted kids so yeah? and Billy ends up considering El his little sister and he still visits Max and Susan and yeah?)

ANYWAY everything kind of calms down, Hop and Joyce get together (I just realized I forgot about Bob so...idk I guess this isn't an everyone survives au? no no that's weird um idk him and Joyce end up breaking up idk why) but yeah Hop and Joyce get together and like it's kind of fast but they've been in love for a long time so it's kind of fine? like idk but yeah

Barb and Robin get together (ITS FUCKING CUTE they go to aquariums and have paint dates where they sit on some old sheets and paint while listening to Robin's records ITS CUTE!)

STEVE COMES OUT TO EVERYONE! he definitely cries bc fuck he was scared! bc he likes both and he wasn't sure if that was a thing or whatever for a while and Billy's like oh yeah, like David Bowie or Freddie Mercury? and that's when Steve's cries bc oh thank God you guys get it and you're cool with it oh fuck and YEAH

UM Max is bi too, Will comes out as gay (listen I know none of this is like 80's realistic but everyone's gay and alive and happy, fuck off)

Um it takes forever for Billy and Steve to get together, it's awful. like Barb and Robin have to deal with their pining and shit? and like Robin hears about it from Steve at work and Barb hears about it from Billy at the diner and they put their knowledge together and make a Plan ™

it's like elaborate and dramatic (shut up they're all like 18-19) and shit? BUT LMAO okay one day they're all hanging out at Steve's (bc I've also hopped aboard the neglectful parents train sorry) and idk Steve and Billy are there before Robin and Barb are so the girls walk in on them arguing over whatever and like Billy's talking really fast and Steve's talking with his hands and idk what it's about but Billy ends up yelling that he loves him BUT THEY KEEP ARGUING FOR LIKE A SOLID MINUTE AFTER THAT BEFORE IT HITS THEM and Steve gets all quiet and is just like you love me? and Billy doesn't fucking know what to do?? he's like bright red and frozen and Robin and Barb are by the door trying to not like break the spell (bc it's been months guys) and Billy's like of course I do asshole and Robin thinks Steve's about to have a panic attack but he like rushes forward and cups Billy's face and kisses him senseless and it's like the best thing Robin and Barb have ever seen

and they're resting their foreheads together, Steve's still holding Billy's face and Billy has his hands on Steve's chest it's really tender but Robin's like yeah congrats and shit but you guys ruined our Plan™! and she gives them a long ass rundown of their elaborate scheme and Steve and Billy are like still touching and bumping into each other as they listen and Barb interrupts and says that this was better and Robin rolls her eyes but agrees

and they're watching a movie or whatever, cuddling in their respective couples and Steve fucking jumps up randomly and rounds on Billy like hey woah fuck I love you too, I didn't say that earlier! and Billy's looking up at him like yeah I know that asshole and yeah

[max-is-tired]

Now My Life Gets Better (Every Letter That You Write Me)

Prompt: “Pen pals! Logince” by @creativity-killed-thekitten

Pairing: Logince

Characters: Roman Sanders, Logan Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Patton Sanders

Words: 2.826

Warnings: Some insecurity, swearing, the rest is basically just fluff 

Notes: I HAD THIS FIC IN THE WORKS SINCE FREAKING NOVEMBER CAN YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING-

I swear this fic did not want to work with me. I had to restart it like, five different times? It really did not want to get written lmao. But now here we are! Finally!!

Thanks to @creativity-killed-thekitten for giving me this prompt and not killing me for the long ass wait lmao ily and thanks to my amazing beta @tigertigertigger who makes sure the English language doesn’t kick my ass to the moon and back, you’re the absolute best

Hit me up if you want to be added to the taglist and let me know if you liked this, reblogs, comments and asks are always very welcome and much appreciated!

Read it on AO3!!   Buy me a Coffee!!

It all starts in 6th grade, when two kids from two different states stumble upon an initiative about pen pals concerning different school districts scattered all around the country.

Since it’s advised more than once to choose a pen name, Logan decides to go by L –just a letter, but generic enough to pass as a nickname. His introduction is rather plain, almost technical, his handwriting clean and void of errors –but, even if he tries to act indifferent to the whole ordeal, he can’t help the little glimmer of curiosity that sparks in his mind, seeping into his words and phrases without him meaning to.

Roman introduces himself as Prince, his first letter written with every single colored pen he can find. It’s messy, as enthusiastic as a written letter can be, and filled with the occasional grammatical error –he should have proofread it, but his 11-years-old brain was too filled with excitement and anticipation to really care about that.

They’re polar opposites in every aspect of their personality and yet, something between them clicks. They keep exchanging letters through the years, a constant back and forth that accompanies them through their middle school and high school years.

They’re not all happy letters, of course. They fight, they cry, and there are windows of time in which no words are spoken, both parties too proud to admit their wrongs. But they always come back to one another, without fail.

And maybe one would think that exchanging written letters in the 21st century is weird, or a waste of time –technology is so much faster and reliable than a piece of paper or the American mail service- but they don’t care.

Even when they finally exchange email addresses first and telephone numbers later, their back and forth in letters doesn’t stop –it’s a tradition by now, something absolutely theirs none of them wants to give up on just yet. It doesn’t matter that they can now talk on a daily basis, may it be via phone or Skype call.

One thing they do not exchange though is their name. They don’t know why, to be honest. They know each other, they trust each other, and yet none of them knows the other’s real name –they still refer to each other with their pen names, even when they’re looking at each other through their laptops’ screens.

Which is never a big problem for Roman, who’s just a sucker for both pet names and flustering the hell out of his beloved nerd.

“I will tell you my name when we meet in person,” Logan says once, during one of their frequent Skype calls, “but only if you agree to do the same.”

“The I absolutely can’t wait for that day to come, my dear L,” Roman answers, dramatically draping himself over his chair while sending his laptop the sweetest smile he could possibly muster, “I’m sure your name is as beautiful as you are, if not more.”

Logan sputters, glaring at Roman as his cheeks and ears turn bright red, and Roman beams, eyes crinkling in delight at the other’s embarrassment.

“Starlight, is that a blush I see?”

“No it is not, and if you don’t shut up now I will end this call.”

Yup, he really can’t wait.

+++

“Hey Sir-Sing-A-Lot, stop talking to your boyfriend for a second, we need to reach that fucking café and you’re the only one between us who knows where it is.”

Roman looks up for his phone, scowling at his friend. “For the last time Mr. Dark and Gloomy, he’s not my boyfriend.”

“Every time you’re talking to him you get this sappy, stupid smile on your face,” Virgil smirks, clearly amused by Roman constantly denying the obvious, “It makes you look more stupid than usual, and that’s saying something.”

“I absolutely do not!” Roman exclaims, face red and eyes flashing. Virgil just laughs at his reaction, leaving a blushing Roman glaring at him and wanting nothing more than wipe that fucking smirk off his new roommate’s face.

In his hand, his phone keeps vibrating at an alarming frequency –L has probably launched into one of his little rants, so he’s not really concerned. It’s cute, really, how the other gets so fired up sometimes. Roman just needs to rile him up a little, a few choice words thrown into their conversation, and there’s no stopping him. Roman often finds himself looking forward to their little debates, moreover if they’re over face call. That way, he can admire L as his expression gets more and more invested in their argument, blue eyes lighting up with fire as his passions take hold.

It’s an endearing sight, and one Roman feels like he’ll never get tired of. It makes his insides squirm and flip, heart consumed by a flame oh so similar to the one in the other’s eyes, burning in his veins like liquid fire and-

“-rth to Roman! You with me, Lover Boy?” Virgil exclaims, waving a hand right in front of the other’s face. “Stop daydreaming about the love of your life for a second and get us to the cafeteria, would you? Patton is waiting for us, you know.”

“You want to go just because there’s coffee.” Roman grumbles, walking forward to hide his red cheeks from the other.

Virgil smirks, easily falling into step with his friend. “Damn right I do. Also, you did not deny it. You sure there’s no mysterious boyfriend you gotta introduce us to?”

Roman simply shoves him and keeps walking, effectively putting an end to the conversation.

And in the silence that stretches, his mind starts wandering.

It’s not that he’s not interested in L that way. He can’t say he hasn’t thought about it, that’s for sure. How could he have not?

L is downright stunning, with deep, intelligent blue eyes and always-styled brown locks that Roman just wants to sink his hand into. And he’s not only aesthetically pleasing –oh god, he’s starting to sound like him- but his personality is really something else.

L is calm and collected, the voice of reason in the middle of a storm. But he’s also passionate and incredibly clever, armed with a fiery temper and infinite knowledge. He’s not one to back out from a fight, wiping the floor with his opponent with the use of words alone.

He’s like the ocean, calm in appearance and yet hiding an inner strength to rival the strongest of fighters.

… yeah, maybe Roman is a little bit in love with his best friend. He can see where Virgil’s taunts are coming from. And if those lingering looks and quiet, soft smiles L has been gifting him more and more are anything to go by, he has a rising suspicion that his feelings are very much returned.

But Roman is more attentive than most give him credit for, and he hasn’t missed the uncertain look or the flicker of doubt on L’s face every time the other thinks he’s not paying attention. He knows what the other is thinking. How could he not, when he’s probably feeling the exact same thing?

Because for their whole life, their entire relationship has been composed of letters and messages and video calls. They know each other, but at the same time he can’t help but ask himself… do they really?

To be honest, Roman’s scared shitless of the day they’ll meet. He’s afraid –as illogical as it may seem- that the other will just look at him and decide that he’s suddenly too much –too loud, too affectionate, too dramatic, too Roman- and walk away, leaving him behind for good.

It’s nothing he hasn’t heard before, after all. But that doesn’t mean that, when the time comes, it will break his heart any less.

God, he’s not ready for that day to come.

“You sure you know where we’re going, Princey?” Virgil asks, snapping him out of his thoughts, “Patton is starting to get worried and he’s kind of blowing up my phone with messages.”

Roman rolls his eyes, gaze sweeping over their surroundings. Differently from his two friends, who have both moved just recently in the city for college, he’s lived his whole life just a town over and knows these streets like the back of his hand. He could navigate the town with his eyes closed, and the café Patton’s waiting for them at is, coincidentally, one of his favorites.

The boy grins as his eyes land on the coffee shop’s familiar windows, staring back at them from the other side of the road.

“See?” he exclaims, a smug smile appearing on his face as he points to their destination, “told you I could get us there.”

Virgil waves him off with a chuckle, shaking his head as he reads through Patton’s messages on his phone. “Yeah, yeah. Also, apparently Patton has somehow run into our mysterious fourth roommate and convinced him to wait with him for us, so yeah, heads up I guess?”

“The more the merrier.” Roman hums, quickly crossing the street.

“He says the guy’s name is Logan, he’s apparently very passionate about space and I think Patton just adopted him or something,” Virgil adds, clearly amused.

“Sounds like Padre alright,” Roman chuckles, opening the shop’s door, “I wonder what type Logan is?”

“Looks like we’re about to find out,” Virgil says, “There they are.”

Roman follows Virgil gaze, immediately spotting Patton’s wild caramel curls at one of the tables on the far right of the shop. He looks like he’s giggling at something, hands curled around his cup as he shakes in laughter. The scene brings a little smile on Roman’s face, who still has to get used to how adorable Patton can be –if his heart wasn’t already so set on a certain handsome nerd, he’s pretty sure that boy could have easily stolen it.

Then he looks at the other occupant of the booth and his thoughts loudly screech to a halt.

Roman freezes on the spot, completely ignoring the strange look Virgil is giving him as his heart starts beating wildly in his chest. He’s turned around, face hidden from him, but the slicked-back dark brown hair, the lean, thin frame, and the overall posture are so familiar to Roman he feels like he’s about to burst. And yet, he can’t quite believe it, blinding hope and rational skepticism clashing in his mind –there’s no way that’s who Roman thinks he is, why would he even be here, what even are possibilities that’s really-

“There they are!” Patton calls, waving his hand towards them, and as their mysterious new roommate turns around, every single doubt disappears from Roman’s mind.

Because he knows those deep blue eyes staring back at him, he knows them like he knows his own name and he can’t do anything but stare, completely dumbfounded as the other –it’s L, it’s really him, holy shit this is really happening- slowly stand up from the booth and walk towards him until they’re standing face to face.

L looks at him, cocking his head to the side as he seems to ponder something.

“It appears that you were right, after all,” he finally says.

Roman simply blinks, “W-what?”

“You really are taller than me,” L answers, a little smile appearing on his face, and Roman lets out a laugh, finally snapping out of his shock. He grins, happiness and giddiness pooling in his chest, and before he knows it he’s basically tackling his best friend, spinning him around as L –Logan, Virgil said his name is Logan holy shit he finally knows his best friend’s name- lets out a startled shout.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Roman exclaims as he finally puts the other down, a blinding smile ever-present on his lips.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Logan answers, trying to keep his balance as a wave of dizziness hits him, “was it necessary to spin us around like that?”

“Very much necessary, Specs,” Roman grins, bouncing on his toes, “holy shit you’re really here, this is amazing!”

“Uh,” a voice suddenly pipes up, startling the both of them, “not to interrupt your moment or anything, but what the fuck is going on?”

Roman groans and turns around, sending a weak glare toward Virgil. His roommate simply raises an eyebrow, completely unaffected, while beside him Patton looks three seconds away from bursting into excited squeals.

“Remember the pen pal I told you about?” he says, gesturing to the boy beside him, “Meet the pen pal.”

“More like the guy you’ve talked our ears off about for literal hours, Princey,” Virgil counters, rolling his eyes with a little smirk on his face, “Nice to finally meet you, I guess.”

“OH MY GOD RO THIS IS SO CUTE,” Patton suddenly exclaims, giving everyone else a heart attack as he jumps up and down with literal stars in his eyes.

“Pat, my sweet friend, you know I love you dearly,” Roman wheezes, a hand on his heart, “but please do not do that ever again.”

“Whoops,” Patton giggles, a sheepish smile on his face.

“So,” Logan pipes up, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards, “Ro?”

Roman visibly startles, turning towards him with wide eyes. His surprise disappears quickly though, morphing in a big smile and gleaming eyes.

“Roman Prince, at your service,” he introduces himself with a flourish, complete with a dramatic bow and dazzling grin.

Logan smiles at his antics, rolling his eyes with an amused smile on his face. “My name is Logan Sanders, a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” he says, “you used your last name as your pen name?”

“Told you it wasn't just because I am royally handsome,” Roman grins, wiggling his eyebrows.

“A royal annoyance, more like,” Logan shoots back without hesitation, his lips stretching into a smirk of his own.

Roman’s Offended Prince Noises™ are drowned by Virgil’s surprised laugh. “Roman, you didn’t tell us your pen pal was cool!”

“Thank you, I guess?”

“Nerd,” Roman chuckles, shaking his head, “I’ll change your mind, just you wait.”

“Oh, really?” Logan challenges, raising an eyebrow, “I’ve known you since 6th grade, Prince. How exactly are you planning on doing that?”

“How about some take-out dinner at my place tonight?” Roman asks without missing a beat, “we could even watch one of those space-themed documentaries you like so much.”

The other blinks owlishly at him, clearly caught off guard. Silence falls in their little corner of the coffee shop, the only sounds being Logan’s sharp intake of breath and Virgil’s stunned whisper of “holy shit Princey that was smooth as fuck-”.

Distantly, Roman knows he should be freaking out right now, fears and doubt swirling in the back of his mind like a storm brewing in the distance. Strangely enough, though, he can’t feel even an ounce of panic, a smile on his face and his heart beating wildly in his chest as he takes in his best friend’s reddening cheeks and a very familiar spark of something appearing in his eyes -it’s a special type of glimmer, one Logan gets every time he talks about the stars, the universe, the wonders of this world he oh so loves and admires.

It makes Roman’s heart sing, to be the one at the receiving end of that look.

“I- um-” Logan finally manages to croak out, fixing his tie and clearing his throat to try and get back some of his composure, “Are you- are you asking me out on a date?”

“Yeah, I think I am,” Roman nods, still smiling, “if you want to, that is.”

Logan looks at him, clearly pondering the offer in his head. Then, he lets out a sigh, shaking his head with a smile slowly spreading on his face.

“Leave it to you to ask me out not even ten minutes after we’ve met for the first time in real life,” he chuckles, fondly rolling his eyes, “but I think I’ll accept your offer.”

Roman grin widens even more, not missing a beat as he briefly closes the distance between them and gently lets his hands rest on Logan’s waist.

“I swear you won’t regret it, sweetheart,” he murmurs, before leaning in and finally kissing him.

It’s everything Roman has dreamt it would be and so much more. Logan’s lips are soft, slightly chapped, gentle as they move in unison with his own. Roman can feel the beginning of a smile threatening to form as he sinks into the kiss, his surroundings completely forgotten as his whole world narrows down to Logan, and nothing more -he barely acknowledges Virgil letting out a loud whoop, Patton squealing loudly in the background.

The world could end in this very moment, and Roman wouldn’t care less. Because he’s kissing Logan, his pen pal, his best friend, his crush, the man he fell in love with, and for now, everything is perfect.

[bigthighsandstupidguys]

Thank you to the lovely gems @satans-helper @mountainofthesunn @beautifulcinephile @safarimama @gretavanfic for tagging me! <3

1. What is your middle name?

Raquel

2. How old are you?

27, yes I’m ancient in Tumblr years haha

3. When is your birthday?

Feb. 23

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Pisces sun, Aries rising, Scorpio moon.

5. What is your favourite colour?

dark greenish blue, like dark teal I guess.

6. What’s your lucky number?

13

7. Do you have any pets?

My kitty cat Padmé....and there’s Obi, too, a younger, misbehaving kitty cat.

8. Where are you from?

Southern Arizona (it’s a dry heat!)

9. How tall are you?

5′1 1⁄4 “(you will pry that fourth of an inch from my cold, dead, hobbit sized hands!) also all y’all are tall af! What gives?

10. What shoe size are you?

7 or 7.5 depends on the style of shoe

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

A reasonable amount, I do believe in having shoes for every occasion.

12. What was your last dream about?

I was trying to pair a body suit with a skirt or something to attend a concert, but then a “race of superior humans” took over everything and well, the concert was no longer a priority.

13. What talents do you have?

I like to think I’m a pretty good dancer...

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I have a strong intuition, I think. 

15. Favourite song?

Today I am going to say Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty.

16. Favourite movie?

Probably Forrest Gump

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Someone kind and funny. A good human being who’s just trying their best.

18. Do you want children?

I think so, but not for a long, long time.

19. Do you want a church wedding?

I got opinions about marriage as an institution...but if I gotta get married I think I’d want it to be somewhere outside.

20. Are you religious?

Not anymore

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Not admitted, just emergency room stuff

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

lol no

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I met an actor from a kid’s soap opera in Mexico once idk his name tho. (and i swear to god I saw Travis Barker from Blink 182 at the San Diego Zoo once, could not confirm tho)

24. Baths or showers?

Showers (but Lush bath bombs are fun and fizzly and smell good)

25. What color socks are you wearing?

barefoot rn

26. Have you ever been famous?

no, but as a toddler my picture was used in a newspaper article lol

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Not really, I just want to be able to wear gorgeous gowns and walk down a red carpet and pose haha. And also be interviewed, I pretend I’m interviewed a lot in my head.

28. What type of music do you like?

I listen to a little bit of everything in spanish and english, but mostly pop, rock, soft rock, oldies, r&b, hip hop. Like shoes, there is also a playlist for every occasion. 

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

NOT YET!

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

four

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

on my tummy, arms under my head, making a four with my legs (if you know, you know)

32. How big is your house?

big enough

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

an egg dish of some kind.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

nerf gun lol

35. Have you ever tried archery?

No, but my middle school BF, Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood was really good at that.

36. Favorite clean word?

luscious

37. Favorite swear word?

Fuck

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

24 hours i think

39. Do you have any scars?

Oh, ya...thanks Padmé

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

Not that I know of...

41. Are you a good liar?

Ha! No! My best friend says my voice gets two octaves higher when I’m lying haha

42. Are you a good judge of character?

I believe so, yes.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

I mean, I’ve tried to do British, that’s what happens when you grow up watching LOTR, Harry Potter, and Pirates of the Caribbean over and over lol

44. Do you have a strong accent?

My Spanish and English are unaccented, but i’m sure when i travel to other parts of the country they know I’m “not from ‘round these parts.”

45. What is your favourite accent?

One time I heard a man from Holland speak and I’ve never heard an accent as beautiful since. But usually I like New Zealand accents.

46. What is your personality type?

Chill and funny.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

Probably my faux leather jacket

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie

50. Left or right-handed?

right

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Fuck yeah, especially tarantulas. 

52. Favourite food?

Egg rolls

53. Favourite foreign food?

Chinese

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

My personal spaces are messy...there is order in the chaos, though.

55. Most used phrase?

“You guys are bad, bad kitties.” 

56. Most used word?

“Ubie” one of the many nicknames for my younger brother.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

about 30 minutes

58. Do you have much of an ego?

it exists and is a fickle thing

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

suck and then bite when it’s been weakened lol

60. Do you talk to yourself?

oh yeah

61. Do you sing to yourself?

mmhmm

62. Are you a good singer?

no, not really, but that ain’t gonna stop me

63. Biggest Fear?

living an inauthentic, unfulfilling life.

64. Are you a gossip?

I like to listen to tea being spilled, I just really like a good story. 

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

The Prestige

66. Do you like long or short hair?

Long

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

I think so

68. Favourite school subject?

History/English

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

no

71. What makes you nervous?

being thrown into unfamiliar situations

72. Are you scared of the dark?

No (my best friend slept with a night light when we were growing up and it was the worst part of sleeping over, but I weaned her off of it eventually!)

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Sure, kindly, the same way I’d like to be corrected.

74. Are you ticklish?

yes

75. Have you ever started a rumour?

no

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

yeah, at work. it’s weird, I do not feel like the kind of person who should be in a leadership position. I’ve always thought that was a thing for loud, confident people haha

77. Have you ever drank underage?

yeah

78. Have you ever done drugs?

like weed/edibles lol

79. Who was your first real crush?

Cody in fourth and fifth grade.

80. How many piercings do you have?

seven

81. Can you roll your R’s?

Yes

82. How fast can you type?

pretty fast

83. How fast can you run?

Like if I have a good reason to, my ass will sprint fast.

84. What colour is your hair?

It’s naturally a dark brown, but right now the roots are dark and the rest is lighter because i’m a dumbass who wanted rose gold hair 

85. What color is your eyes?

dark brown

86. What are you allergic to?

I think the combination of avocado and tomato causes some kind of reaction because every time I eat it, my lips feel all tingly and swollen.

87. Do you keep a journal?

I have a lot of journals that I occasionally will write in.

88. What do your parents do?

Their best. lol. My dad is a facilities director and my mom can’t work because of her chronic illnesses. But she was a teacher in Mexico, and worked at all kinds of things here before her health got too bad.

89. Do you like your age?

Sure

90. What makes you angry?

assholes lol people who don’t realize or care about the fact that we’re all on the same damn rock with the same needs. 

91. Do you like your own name?

I do, yes.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

haha I really like the name Agustín

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

doesn’t matter

94. What are you strengths?

i’m compassionate and love deeply

95. What are your weaknesses?

i’m compassionate and love deeply lmao jk. It can be difficult to set boundaries

96. How did you get your name?

Named after both my grandmothers, they were quite different women and I think I got some of the best stuff from both.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Not likely, probably more like merchants. I’m convinced my mom’s side of the family left Spain because of some shaddy stuff haha or to incest in peace lmao

98. Do you have any scars?

Yeah, thanks Padmé

99. Colour of your bedspread?

It’s summer so i’m only using a flat sheet right now, it’s purple.

100. Colour of your room?

blue, specifically the shade azure

Tagging: @lazingonsunday @lantern-inthenight @gretavanfleetlife @littlegeekwonder @dreams-madeof-strawberrylemonade @eatmyshiftsticky @jeordinevankiszka @myownparadise96 @michaalien @mr-stank-i-dont-feel-so-dank @okietrish @thebatphone

[bandaids-not-groupies]

Get to know me uncomfortably well - tagged by @livewiredroger ❤️ sorry this took so long to post!! 

1. What is your middle name? 

Janie

2. How old are you? 

21, gonna be 22 in a couple months

3. When is your birthday?

December 4th! A day after Ozzy’s

4. What is your zodiac sign? 

Sagittarius

5. What is your favourite colour? 

Light purple and black

6. What’s your lucky number?

I don’t actually know

7. Do you have any pets?

No but I did have a dog!

8. Where are you from? 

Chicago!

9. How tall are you?

5’0 lmao

10. What shoe size are you? 

6

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 

Too many to count lol

12. What was your last dream about? 

I don’t remember 😅

13. What talents do you have?

None lol. I’m boring af

14. Are you psychic in any way? 

Nope lol

15. Favourite song? 

I’m a believer by the monkees (I’ve always loved that song)

16. Favourite movie? 

The Godfather

17. Who would be your ideal partner? 

Keanu Reeves. He has my heart and soul

18. Do you want children? 

Yeah but only like 2

19. Do you want a church wedding? 

Yeah but nothing too big

20. Are you religious? 

Kinda but not really. Like I acknowledge that there could be a God. But I don’t practice it that much. So basically I’M SINNING AND I’M WINNING

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? 

Yeah. Twice. Once cause I had a bad ear infection and then another time I had pneumonia

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? 

Nope!

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? 

Yes I have! Back in my emo days I meet Christofer Drew from Never Shout Never, which was actually pure luck! NSN was in town for a concert, but I couldn’t go because it was a 18+ venue so I couldn’t get in (I was in 8th grade at the time). So my family and I decided to go out to eat at a restaurant which was coincidentally across from the venue. So we were walking down the street and I see this huge tour bus right outside the restaurant. My heart starts racing and i thought “how cool would it be if I bumped into someone from the group” well lo and behold as we are coming closer to the bus, Christofer Drew turns the corner and walks towards the bus. So I stop in my tracks and just say “Christofer Drew?” And he stops and he says hi! He asked if I was going to the show and I said no and he goes “well you gotta promise you’ll come to the next one!” Of course I made the promise and I didn’t break it! He came back that summer and I got to see him ❤️ I also met two groups called Breathe Carolina and Crown The Empire. I also met Evan Peters and Sebastian Stan at Comic Con a couple years ago. I also met Corey Crawford. The goaltender for the Chicago Blackhawks, my favorite hockey team.

24. Baths or showers?

Showers! I don’t like the idea of bathing in your own filth.

25. What color socks are you wearing? 

I’m not wearing any!

26. Have you ever been famous? 

Nope lmao and I probably never will be

28. What type of music do you like?

I like oldies. Mostly from the 50s-80s. Anything from Dean Martin to Motley Crue. I do like modern music too. I still listen to some of the bands I listened to in middle school lol (like the ones i mentioned before and others like All Time Low, Pierce The Veil, Sleeping With Sirens, Of Mice & Men, Asking Alexandria, and a couple more.) I also like Greta Van Fleet and 5 Seconds of Summer. I also like spanish music. Like Maluma, Bad Bunny, Becky G, etc. 

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? 

Nope lol 

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 

It depends. It could be one or none. Sometimes i don’t use a pillow

31. What position do you usually sleep in? 

On my tummy! 

32. How big is your house? 

It’s a two bedroom apartment. I’m not complaining tho, its very cozy. 

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? 

If I wake up early enough lol it’ll usually be eggs (over medium), some coffee, and some bread 

34. Have you ever fired a gun? 

Nope and i don’t plan on it! 

35. Have you ever tried archery? 

Yes! I tried it when I was in Girl Scouts in elementary school 

36. Favourite clean word? 

Groovy 

37. Favorite swear word? 

definitely FUCK

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 

like a day? I got like four hours of sleep the night before. Got up at like 6am, went about my day. Then I stayed up until 7am working on a research paper for class (college is a BITCH). 

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? 

Nah cause your girl is hella ugly lmao

41. Are you a good liar? 

Not at all. People can tell when I’m lying cause my voice gets high lmao 

42. Are you a good judge of character? 

Eh I do my best 

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? 

I try to do a posh British accent and I try to do a Steve Irwin Aussie accent   

44. Do you have a strong accent? 

People say I have a strong chicagoan accent but i don’t hear it!

45. What is your favourite accent? 

I’m a sucker for aussie accents 

46. What is your personality type? 

just took the test..i got ISFP-T (adventurer) 

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? 

hmmmm all I can think of at the moment is my Doc Martens. They aren’t really clothing but it’s all I can think of lol

48. Can you curl your tongue? 

Nope!

49. Are you an innie or an outie? 

outie :(((( i hate it 

50. Left or right-handed?

Right handed! 

51. Are you scared of spiders? 

YES YES YES

52. Favourite food? 

Pasta! I could eat it all day, every day 

53. Favourite foreign food?

Tamales and Pozole. That’s my shitttt

54. Are you a clean or messy person? 

I try and be a clean person and stay organized but it only lasts for a bit then I go back to my messy ways lol 

55. Most used phrase? 

“that’s a mood” and “no mames guey” (Mexican slang)

56. Most used word? 

Dude and Darling

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 

Depends. If I wear my hair natural, then an hour. But if I gotta style it, then like an hour and a half or two hours( I got a lot of fucking hair, dude). 

58. Do you have much of an ego? 

Hell no lmao. This bitch has a low self-esteem so 🤷🏻‍♀️

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? 

Suck 🤪

60. Do you talk to yourself? 

All the time lmao 

61. Do you sing to yourself? 

Yeah sometimes 

62. Are you a good singer? 

Nope lmao but I still do it anyways 

63. Biggest Fear? 

A lot of shit. Spiders, Holes (trypophobia), tearing my achilles or getting them cut (ever since I saw Pet Sematary), dolls, bugs crawling under my skin, throwing up...and i can’t think of anymore on the spot 

64. Are you a gossip? 

you bet your ass I am. Soy una chismosa lmao

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? 

Titanic  

66. Do you like long or short hair? 

On girls, long but not too long. Maybe like mid-back. And guys, long, like ear length and longer 

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? 

Yeah but i couldn’t point them out on a map 

68. Favourite school subject? 

Biology/Human Anatomy. I’m a sucker for science 

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Definitely an introvert. No doubt about that lol 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? 

Nope!

71. What makes you nervous? 

Meeting new people, class discussions, and presentations

72. Are you scared of the dark? 

If i’ve just seen a scary movie then yes lol  

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? 

Sometimes. For instance, if one of my friends from ecuador uses a word wrong in a sentence, then I would tell them the right way to say it to help them learn more english. i never correct someone to seem like i’m smarter or to be rude. It’s simply to help them. 

74. Are you ticklish? 

Yeah! In some places like my feet, neck, and my back, 

75. Have you ever started a rumour? 

No way! That’s terrible 

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? 

Only when babysitting my little cousins lol 

77. Have you ever drank underage? 

Yeah lmao. When I went away for college

78. Have you ever done drugs? 

Once, when I hungout with a guy at school we smoked some weed

79. Who was your first real crush?

One of my friends from college. I met him Freshman year and I still like him...I’ve liked him for four years but i’ve never had the guts to tell him 

80. How many piercings do you have? 

6! I have four on my left ear and two on my right ear. I have the standard lobe piercings, then the upper lobe on both sides. Then on my left I have one above the upper. And then I have my helix pierced on the left side. (i hope this all made sense lol) 

81. Can you roll your R’s?

Nope

82. How fast can you type? 

Eh I would say pretty average 

83. How fast can you run? 

Not at all. I hate running 

84. What colour is your hair?

Dark brown! 

85. What color is your eyes? 

Dark brown

86. What are you allergic to? 

Some ingredient in the Banana Boat sunscreen. And some type of plant. I don’t exactly know which one cause I went to the botantic garden one time on a field trip and I don’t know which plant caused my allergic reaction but when I got home I had hives all over me. 

87. Do you keep a journal? 

Nope, never did 

88. What do your parents do? 

My mom is an ortho technician and my dad is a delivery man

89. Do you like your age? 

Yeah I guess. I mean I can buy my own alcohol so that’s pretty neat 

90. What makes you angry? 

Everything 

91. Do you like your own name? 

Eh it’s alright. Pretty boring 

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I like the name Elena for a girl and Jonathan for a boy 

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

Doesn’t matter to me

94. What are you strengths? 

I’m a ride or die bitch.

95. What are your weaknesses?

I don’t really share my emotions so I keep things bottled up 

96. How did you get your name? 

My cousin picked out my name 

97. Were your ancestors royalty? 

Not that I know of. But what I do know is I have family from Spain. 

98. Do you have any scars?

Yeah, one on my arm from when I burned myself with my straightener. And another at the place where my nose meets my forehead, between my brows. When I was in elementary school, I was running out on the playground and I tripped and I slide across the cement and scraped my nose and my whole forehead. THERE. WAS. BLOOD. EVERYWHERE. 

99. Colour of your bedspread? 

Light pink 

100. Colour of your room? 

White! 

I tag: @tommyleeownsme, @babe-mustaine, @waycooljunior, and @universal-scorpio ❤️

[flyswhumpcenter]

Nurse Café - Chapter 1/6: “You’re Not Supposed to Drink Coffee This Late, Sir”

NEXT CHAPTER

Summary: Life could have honesty been simpler than that for Hokuto, a second-year Liteature major. There's, however, someone out there willing to just make it easier on him.

Fandom: Ensemble Stars! (College/Coffeeshop AU) Ships: HokuAn (Anzu/Hokuto)

Wordcount: 1.5K words

Notes: C'mon, the occasion was too tempting for me not to title this fic after the real banger that is Susumu Hirasawa's masterpiece, "Nurse Café".

Your boi is working on his big-ass Arc-V fic project, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do and writing a nice little sickfic. AKA: I'm bursting that fandoms's door like I've always done, which is with a sickfic nobody wanted but me (and maybe my friend @nehamerchant123 who got me into this mess in the first place) (btw go check her cake business, she’s working on her cardd page for it)

I've been into this game's characters for a whole three weeks but I am not giving a shit I am doing this. I also don't know anything about colleges at all in any part of the world, I don't even know the Sorbonne because I've been there like thrice and it's always been in the same parts anyway (to be fair, I'm not even attending it yet lmao) It's very self-indulgent so it's short and split in two, I dunno, I may combine the two chapters some other day. It's probably also OOC, but whatever yeet

AO3 version available here.

----------

On second thought, his life may have been a mess, lately. For someone who liked organization, keeping a pace and thinking everything thoroughly to reach as much perfection as possible, he sure had allowed things to get messy without meaning to. To be fair to himself, problems had started piling up suddenly and at an incredible speed, to the point he didn’t know in what order he should have attempted fixing them: should he prioritize taking care of his grandmother who broke her leg not too long ago, his studies increasing in volume or his club duties, even if his leader was getting on his nerves with his weird, nonsensical shenanigans?

At first, he tried managing everything at once, but after some weeks of pulling almost-all-nighters, he decided to seek alternatives. It didn’t quite work out as planned, but at least, he had found a way to survive the storm for now: the local coffeeshop’s espressos. For someone who used to be so on-the-nose with his health, that was a strange choice, sure, but being friends with people like Subaru Ahehoshi made one adaptable and needing to find solutions quickly, if just temporary.

Not that he didn’t hate relying on coffee in the first place.

 His new routine, solidified by a couple months spent tuning it to maximize time use and task efficiency (albeit it was still a bit stiff, like he had always been), consisted of doing the most he can, not fall onto his bed and immediately find sleep before getting woken up by his own anxiety, and continue on his day by getting a cup of coffee in the same café, each time, to the same cashier. It was always the same order in the same place at similar hours of the evening, which gave it a sense of comfort he wasn’t against in times where he wasn’t sure how he should have asked for help. All of what he was doing is stuff he was supposed to be doing by himself, after all: he shouldn’t have needed someone else’s help for that, didn’t need to bring them through the mud with him (even if Isara had offered to help him, he had always declined: Isara may have very well been the only man he knew that had constantly been busier than him).

His grandma has told him before to lay it off, to let her do her thing and for him to focus on himself. While he intended on forcing himself not to barge into her life constantly, he quickly found himself doing it again even after her scolding: he just couldn’t not worry over it, he had to check if she was doing fine and if she was getting the hang of things. Ah, how thick-headed he’s been!

(In a way, maybe he put himself in that mess to begin with. Should have applied his own advice and tasted his own medicine).

 With a presentation dooming over his head for the next week and more drama club shenanigans, he had gotten backed in a corner: it was either researching for the entire night or risk getting an awful grade that’d sink his results to the bottom of the sea. Stuck between a rock and a hard place, he had gone for the first option, albeit he was starting to think this may not have been the greatest idea he had ever had. (Actually, far from it). Still, that presentation wouldn’t write itself on its own, so he went for it and spent a night or two working on that while occupying his daytime with taking care of his grandma (who’s soon out of having her feet stuck in some cast, thank God for that) and club business and other college-related catastrophes strolling around in his life.

It was with a pounding headache and stumbling feet that he made it out of his flat and into the campus, heading straight for the café he always got his precious cup of coffee in (he was hesitating to put aspirin in the cup itself, but that sounded like a terrible idea, and he had left his aspirin tablets in his flat anyway), ignoring the gazes around him (it was easier to do when his sight is half-blurry to begin with). Once he was done with that necessary loss of time, he’d be able to come back to his actual work and that until he’d be finished with it. If he was productive enough, he should have been done with that presentation’s slideshow by the time 5AM hits.

 He entered the café, heard an unfamiliar bell ring immediately as he opened and closed the door, and went straight for the counter like a drunkard entering a tavern. He didn’t care about it in the slighest: he pulls out his yens from his pocket, slams them on the counter and asks, in a groggy voice he doesn’t like to hear to himself, “hello, I’d like an espresso, please”, with the least charisma he could have mustered because he was that tired and he just wanted to be over with that damn presentation already.

It was only when he rose his eyes to face the barista that he realized he had entered the wrong café, right as he faced a high school classmate, friend, and probably something else he couldn’t quite put his finger on, whom had never worked at his usual café. He didn’t say anything, but gulped and swallowed his pride back in, and payed for his espresso by pushing the coins anyway (Ahehoshi would have jumped on the counter to get them: they were undeniably shinier than they should have been).

 “Good evening, sir, thank you for com…”

Silence.

“Hokuto, is that you?!”

That voice was no mistake: this was Anzu, from the Management course. This was going to be painful…

“Ah… Yeah…?” Oh God. What was he supposed to tell her? That he didn’t even know where he was walking anymore? That this was all a giant misunderstanding on his part?  “Yeah.”

“I’m not used to seeing you around here? How are you?”

“…Fine.” Something was missing. “I hope you’re doing well too.”

That wasn’t really good dialogue. Not that Anzu picked up in it: she was probably too busy trying to do her job.

“Here you go, Hokuto…” She put his cup on the counter and picked his coins. “You’re sure you should be drinking that at this time of the day? It’s late and you’ll have a hard time sleeping if you drink that now.” Then she muttered to herself: “looks like you’d benefit from a good night’s sleep too…”

“Thank you, have a goodnight.”

 He picked his cup and went to a table, legs feeling faint. There was nobody still around in the café: clearly, unlike his usual 24/7 place where there always was someone living in the night (the Sakuma brothers trying to avoid each other but finding themselves in the same place and Hajime taking part-time jobs were the firsts to come to his mind), this was a daytime place and he was all aone, stuck with his pounding headache and Anzu cleaning before closing. He had something like fifteen minutes to drink his fuming coffee and get out of there, but even his hands felt sluggish and unresponsive.

Maybe he really wanted to throw that presentation out of the window and just sleep for the next three days. He didn’t even know what he was doing anymore anyway.

 After a few moments, he watched with bleary eyes and eyelids closing on their own Anzu walked to him and sit on the opposite side of the table, staring at him with an expression he couldn’t really read, before her hand arrived on his forehead. It was cold, unnaturally so, and he wondered if she didn’t have blood circulation problems like he was worried he could have had before. Yet, despite his rising concerns, he still let himself lean into it, too tired to really pay attention to how he was behaving. That was bad, awful even. He needed to gulp his coffee, so he did, burnt his tongue and throat, and was about to pack it when he noticed she was still staring at him.

“I… I need to go, is there something wrong?” He asked, hoping this would be enough.

“You…”

Huh. Okay.

“I’m leaving now, I’ll let you close the sh—”

 Black dots appeared in his sight as soon as he got up and he felt his body plunge forward, hand slipping instead of grabbing at the table, vision blurring until all he could feel was hands wrapping themselves around him and faint, muffled sounds resonating in the distance.

It was all over, wasn’t it? He couldn’t move nor feel anymore, right? What a way to end his rush… What way to finish the evening that he was supposed to finish his presentation on… That was his way to go? Huh… Not like he could resist against his own body finally turning on him.

 He had failed in a dramatic fashion, that was for sure.

And, to be honest, he kind of hated it.

[whatevshollandarchive]

how to unlove someone • ch. 3 [tom holland x reader]

how to unlove someone • ch. 3

tom holland x reader

words: 3k

warnings: swearing, cheating, implications of sex, angst, crying, the whole lot

a/n: it’s supposed to be all lowercase && this one’s a whole thing lmao

series masterlist || general masterlist

piper threw a piece of popcorn at you and tom from across the room.

“let’s go drinking, i’m tired of being sober.” she complained, ignoring the notes she was supposed to be studying.

“no, piper, you can’t be hungover tomorrow.” you reminded her and she dramatically rolled her eyes and sighed.

“so, what step are we on now? we haven’t gone over a new one in nearly two weeks, love.” tom asked and you raked your mind for the number. the time you spent with tom was probably the best time you’ve ever had, so you forgot about the plan for awhile.

“you should be starting number three now!” piper called out, still failing to study for her exam.

“ah, right. step three,” tom said, looking down at his cracked phone that, needless to say, drove you insane. “change the name for him to his actual name, delete any playlists for him, and turn off any post notifications you have on his accounts.”

piper practically wheezed, knowing you spent so long making matt a playlist you weren’t even gonna send and that you’d be upset to part ways with it.

“alright,” you sighed, leaning forward and grabbing your phone. you easily changed his names on your phone to his regular first and last name, and you only had his post notifications on on instagram. and, like piper knew, the 70 song playlist you made for matthew was the hardest to let go. you stared down at it, and tom slowly took the phone and deleted it himself before handing it back. “there. done. can we move on now?”

“you gotta get used to it first.” you frowned.

“that’s dumb.”

“well,” tom laughed. “would you rather be in a toxic relationship?”

“what’s even toxic about him, though?” piper asked. although she sometimes called matthew toxic, too, she didn’t really get what about him was toxic.

“you’ve said he was emotionally abusive before.” you told her, looking over your shoulder to see her.

“and he’s a player.” tom said, rolling his brown eyes.

you nodded and sighed. piper was back to matthew already, claiming she foolishly started to like him again. he was still single, but showed no similar feelings. he wouldn’t answer her texts, he’d ignore her calls, and made sure his two dumbass roommates wouldn’t let her in the apartment anymore.

it was all apart of his own demise, though. you’ve witness him do it plenty of times before, and not just with piper. being matthew’s best friend brought you somewhat close with a handful of his girlfriends. and when he and one of them would break up, he’d do this. he’d make them want to come back, but only piper, and maybe one other girl, ever did. most of his exes had common sense, and left it as messy as it already was, but piper didn’t have any morals, in fact, her moral compass would a roulette wheel, no doubt. so now she was stressed, trying to get contact of the boy she just broke up with a week and a half earlier. all because of his twisted game. piper was too good to go through that.

“besides, he’s not into settling down, he’s just gonna find someone else to mess with.” tom continued, snapping you out of your slight daze.

“why are you even friends with him?” piper asked, slightly exasperated. he shrugged, running a hand through his hair.

“he’s a good friend, just not such a good boyfriend.”

“that’s an understatement.” you muttered, getting up to get a drink.

“y/n, have you seen my car keys?” piper asked, as she shifted through her papers and books while you walked past.

“nope.” she groaned and tom raised an eyebrow.

“why do you need them right now? you’re supposed to be studying.” he reminded her, drawing out the last word, and she rolled her eyes.

“i need them.”

“for what?” you asked, opening up the fridge.

“i just do, okay?” she snapped, and tom glanced over at you, watching you mouth an irritated ‘okay’ as you looked through the refrigerator.

piper eventually found her keys in her room after dumping her school stuff back in there. she left the apartment, only saying that she’d be back later.

you, somehow, were asleep when she left, in tom’s arms as he studied some of his own notes. he frowned when piper shut the door behind her, knowing you wouldn’t be happy with her for leaving. since the three of you all know exactly where she was going without having to talk about it.

tom was conflicted. he liked you, but he knew you were in love with someone else and although he really really wanted to ask you out, he knew he should wait and save himself the troubles. the steps were taking too long, in his opinion. but this was how it worked with him, and how it worked with harrison. so, if it’s not broken, don’t fix it. he just didn’t know what to do.

piper still hadn’t been back two hours later, and you were still asleep. tom was over studying at that point and was tired himself, but didn’t want to leave you for the night. he shot his blonde counterpart a text saying goodnight, and set his phone on do not disturb. it wasn’t necessarily his place to do this, but he was kind of tired of being on the couch, so he lifted you up in his arms and made his way to your bedroom. he left the bedroom door open, just to reassure piper when she came home, if she came home, and laid down next to you in the bed after tucking you in. he set you under the covers while he was on top of them, to give you some reassurance as well.

piper didn’t come home that night. she stayed the night at matthew’s. needless to say, they were getting back together soon.

but she came home the next morning, while you and tom were still asleep. she stepped into the apartment, expecting to see you two on the couch or eating breakfast, but it was empty. her brows were knit, and she noticed tom’s things still sitting around the room, so he had to still be here. and then she smirked. she knew something between you two was bound to happen.

she snuck down the hallway, but frowned when she noticed your bedroom door open. she cautiously glanced in to find a clothed tom next to you in the bed, but he was on top of the blankets and everything and you were underneath the covers. she cursed the two of you in her mind, turning to her own door, wondering why the hell it was taking you so long to get together and just forget matthew.

of course she felt bad about everything with matthew, but she figured it’d be better if you were out of matt’s life, as mean as that sounded.

it’s not like she thought you were getting in the way, necessarily, it was just she always was going back and forth between your feelings and matt. and she wanted it to be over. she wanted to not have to choose, although she already was, and that was especially clear to you. she was choosing him over your feelings. she knew. of course she knew. now, did she care? yeah, for sure, she was just bad at showing that.

she went to open the door of her room, when a whisper came from behind her.

“couldn’t give him up yet?” it was tom. he softly closed your bedroom door and leaned against it, his arms crossed. piper sighed, still facing the door, her hand resting on the door knob.

“you gonna tell her this time?” he asked after she didn’t answer his first question. her silence was all he needed. piper closed her eyes before speaking up.

“why is it always a big deal when he and i get back together?” she murmured and tom furrowed his brows.

“because he’s not a good person, and because your best friend has been in love with him for years.”

“people say that but i’m the reason she even knows who he is. i was in love with him first. no one gives a shit if i’ve loved him for however long. why’s it so special when she does it?”

“you’ve gotten him multiple times, piper. he’s proved to you that he sees you as another person to use for attention.”

“she’s dated him before, too.”

“for one month,” tom responded. “one month in total. how many months have you two dated in all? probably over twelve, piper. don’t compare the two.”

“it’s whatever,” she said. “she doesn’t like him anymore, right? she’s over him. it doesn’t matter.”

“piper, you know it’s just one of the st-”

“well, is she ever gonna give up on him if we don’t accept it? as if we never knew the steps were a thing?” piper whipped around as she spoke. “you want her to forget him? to fall in love with you? then go along with it.”

and with that, the blonde girl turned, went into her room, and closed and locked the door behind her. tom sighed, and opened your door to find you still peacefully sleeping under the comforter. he figured he couldn’t go wrong with a little more sleep, and layed back down next to you.

he couldn’t fall asleep, though. he kept thinking about what piper said. she was right, about going along with the steps. he just didn’t expect her to know that he wanted to be the one you loved. he supposed it was kind of obvious but still, he would’ve thought piper saw it as just the steps after hearing about them.

tom glanced over at you. he smiled to himself. there was something about you. he just wanted to hold you close to his chest, just you and him, together. he wanted to call you his, and never have to even think of these stupid steps ever again.

tom never fell back asleep, so he ended up getting up and finding something to cook for breakfast for you. he was just finishing it all up, proud of his work, when your phone that was left on the coffee table beeped. tom knew he shouldn’t be nosy, so he just left it and grabbed a glass from the cupboard. he opened the fridge to find some orange juice when the phone beeped again. he pulled the carton out and set it on the counter, sighing, having a feeling it was matthew, but still ignoring it.

you suddenly came shuffling out of the hallway, surprising tom.

“good morning!” he laughed and you looked around him.

“you didn’t have to do this, tom.” you smiled and he smiled.

“i wanted to, darling.” you rolled your eyes and grabbed your phone, frowning as you saw the messages. you decided to open them, but not respond.

as you crossed into the kitchen to sit across from tom, it beeped in your hand again. you groaned leaving him on read once again, and he immediately sent another text.

“he’s so annoying,” you sighed. tom sent an apologetic smile your way. “i wish he’d just leave me alone.”

“i know, love, but we have to lead up to it.” he sighed and you nodded.

a couple hours later, tom had went home and you found yourself leaving your room to put an empty cup away. you figured piper wasn’t home from work yet, since her bedroom door was still wide open and the lights were off. as you turned the corner to make your way into the kitchen, you stopped in your tracks to find matthew standing there, yanking his coat off, and you dropped the plastic cup onto the hardwood floor. he looked over at you, startled.

“how’d you get in here?” you asked, eyes widened. his features softened when he realized you were scared.

“i have an extra key, y/n, it’s okay.” he said taking a step towards you, his arms out for a hug.

“what do you want?” you tried to make yourself sound confident, but he saw through that.

“piper told me to head over, she’s a little wrapped up at work but shouldn’t be too late.”

“piper?” you were honestly so confused. “late? late for what?”

“nevermind that,” he shook his head. “hey, so, why haven’t you been answering my texts?”

“uh, my phone is being stupid, that’s all,” you lied. “i don’t know what’s going on with it.” matt nodded, smiling.

“why did piper tell you to come over?” you picked up the cup and set it down on the counter. he ran a hand through his hair as he shrugged.

“she said she wanted to talk about something,” he raised his eyebrows. “she said you wouldn’t mind if i came over before she got home.” you nodded.

“right. we, uh, we needed to hang out anyway.” he chuckled, looking around the apartment.

“i’m surprised holland isn’t here.” he changed the subject. tom’s all he ever wants to talk about lately.

“oh, yeah, he left a couple hours ago.” matt nodded, taking a couple steps closer to you.

“what’s his deal? like, isn’t he annoying you?” you shrugged.

“he’s a really good friend.”

“yeah, but don’t you think he’s stopping you from things you want to do?” he asked, and you realized that now you were inches apart, your breath caught in your throat.

“no,” you murmured, not sure if that was the truth or not anymore. “not at all.”

matthew smirked, raising an eyebrow.

“so, you’re saying if he was here right now he wouldn’t stop this?”

he leaned down and kissed you, but you knew it was wrong. you knew you shouldn’t let him do this. there wasn’t any spark like you imagined there would be when you kissed the first time. it wasn’t the fairy tale you wanted it to be. it wasn’t tom.

you pushed him away and he furrowed his brows, watching you back away, shaking your head.

“matthew, i can’t.”

“can’t what y/n?” he asked, sounding slightly hurt. it was all an act.

“i don’t love you anymore.”

“y/n, what’s wrong?” he asked, not believing you.

“i-i don’t love you anymore, matt,” you repeated shakily. “i can’t do this.”

“it’s tom, isn’t it?” matt was getting mad. “did he fucking show you those stupid ass steps?”

“this has nothing to do with him. i just, i don’t want to be used for attention anymore.”

“used for attention? y/n, you know i’d never do that to you.”

“oh, shut up, okay? that’s probably the second biggest lie that’s ever came out of your mouth,” you suddenly got a burst of confidence. “the first being ‘i love you’.”

“jesus fucking christ, y/n, what’s up with you?”

“i’m over you, matt, and i don’t want to be friends anymore.”

“really?”

“really. you’re a toxic, attention-loving player. you use girls. you use piper. you use me. i’m over it.”

“i have a feeling you’ll be apologizing for all of this soon.”

“no. i’m not. you’re the one who should be apologizing because you’re an asshole who uses people for attention.”

the front door opened and piper walked in. she looked between the two of you.

“hey, what’s going on?”

“piper, what’s he doing here?”

“we were gonna have a movie date-” you whipped your head back to matt.

“you two are back together?” piper nodded, confused. matthew kept eye contact, practically daring you to tell her.

“piper, he just kissed me.”

matthew had left without argument after piper screamed at him to go. no excuses, no ‘that’s not true’, none of it. he just left. left after stomping two hearts to broken pieces on the ground, leaving piper now sobbing with mascara streaming down her face. this was the most he’s ever dared to do in terms of cheating. typically the other times were tinier things, like being in the talking stage before dating with other girls while he was with piper. but this time, he kissed you, piper’s bestest friend, because he knew that you didn’t know they were back together and he just wanted the extra validation that you were still waiting for him. he left without getting that validation. he left behind two beautiful girls who constantly were willing to wait for him, sometimes more so than others.

and good fucking riddance to him.

you both cried together, complaining about how dumb and stupid boys are. you cried for what seemed like hours.

you both seemingly had no more tears after some time, and were just sitting there when your phone rang.

it was tom. you answered it, putting it on speaker for piper to hear, sniffing.

“what’s up?”

“are you okay, love?” he knew you’d been crying. he could tell.

“uh, yeah, matt tried to kiss me and i told piper and we’ve just been crying over him cheating on her.”

“do you guys need anything? should i come over?”

“no, i, uh, i think we’re fine. just need some best friend time, you know?” you let out a breathy laugh, running a hand through your hair, smiling over at piper.

“okay, that’s understandable. i was just calling to see if i left my jacket over there but i think i just saw it.”

“alright, i’ll talk to you later, tom.”

“see ya.”

you set the phone down and piper smiled softly.

“marry him.”

“what?”

“you have no choice anymore, you have to marry that boy.”

you both laughed. you smiled.

“it’s all up to him.”

“i think he really cares about you, y/n.” she murmured after a moment. you laughed.

“i hope he does. after all, he still is my friend.” she smiled.

“what’s the next step, anyway?”

“not sure, i guess we’ll have to wait and see,” you replied. “you wanna build a fort?”

“i’m in.”

‘how to unlove someone’ taglist: @spooder-moon @yoinksholland @sweetest-sorrow @thebadassbitchqueen @more-than-friends-lessthanlovers @sspider-parker @laucontrerasv @dacutiehart @tomshufflepuff @deranged-sewer-rat    @sleepybesson