#just gonna drink and watch Dangerous Women or whatever
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smallestapplin · 5 months ago
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Little love
This was commissioned by @bellafragolina who asked for found family Trevor Belmont before meeting the others.
Word count : 1,521
No warnings!
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When Trevor first found you, he didn't know what to do, he's a Belmont, not a babysitter. But he just saved your village from monsters, more specifically he saved you from being eaten. Your small chubby hands gripped onto his shirt, silently sobbing into his chest as he held you.
You've been traumatized, not wanting to make a sound in case more monsters come back. It sickens him, you couldn't be any older than five, and this is the world you were meant to be raised in?
"I got you now. Let's go find your parents, yeah?"
The mention of them just made you sob harder, it made his blood run cold.
They are probably dead.
Well, that's at least something you two have in common.
He shakes that thought from his head and tries to pull you away, just so he can see your face and ask a few more questions, only for you to cling to him tighter, mumbling something he couldn't understand but it sounded like pleads.
Fuck, he can't just leave you, but he's not exactly child friendly, and it's not like you can talk much, seemingly only knowing a few words.
When taking you with him, he asked around the village women how to take care of such a young child and what you could eat. He soaks up their cooing and praises while also getting the information he wanted before he stocked up and set off.
You're like his little shadow, always one step behind him like a duckling.
"Alright, you gotta name?"
You didn't answer, just held onto the end of his cape as you two walked.
"Well, aren't you the life of the party?" He snorts, running a hand through his messy brown hair.
"Hm, if you're gonna be my shadow, we are gonna need to train you. Can't have you gettin' hurt on my watch."
You're not like him or his family, you're supposed to be a normal child running around, scraping your knee, living a normal life, he's sorry it had to be this way but he will ensure you at least have a fighting chance.
The first night with you was a nightmare, he was so paranoid about monsters finding you he didn't sleep, any small noise had him on high alert, the only thing that calmed him down was looking over to your sleeping form all bundled up in his cloak, sound asleep.
It's also the first night he doesn't go to a tavern and drink himself to sleep.
Any new mission he spends getting a room first, booby-trapping it to hell and back, and placing protection symbols everywhere to keep monsters at bay. Anytime he goes to leave he makes sure you have food and water, and that the windows are shut and locked tight.
He crouches down to your height, handing you a rather sharp knife.
"Now, if someone knocks what do you do?"
"Don't open."
"Good! And if they claim to be me or the inn keep?"
"Don't open."
"And if they try breaking in?"
"Under the bed, go for the ankles."
"Good job, little love. I'll be back as soon as possible, do not open the door for anyone unless I give the code."
You nod your head, clenching the handle of your blade to you, holding it just like he taught you for maximum danger.
It's not ideal for you but it's to ensure you're protected while he hunts. He spends hours away at a time, fighting tooth and nail to kill vampires, ghouls, whatever those bastard bat monsters are, just to return to the tavern and drink and drink and drink.
Until his body feels warm.
It's then he returns to the room, knocking in a set pattern before muttering the goofy code he gave you. He smiles hearing the soft sound of your feet pattering against the wooden floor. After a few minutes of movement, the door opens, revealing you rubbing the sleep from your eyes.
"Ah, m'sorry my little duckling, seems I lost track of time."
You don't say much, just moving to let him in, and following right behind him as he flops face-first into the bed, groaning as he can finally relax his muscles.
Trevor can't help but chuckle, feeling you climb into the bed as well only to keep going until you're laying on his back.
"Swear you're like a cat."
You just get comfy and quickly pass out, having been so tired waiting for him.
He may have only found you months ago, but he doesn't know when he got so attached, he swore he'd never be a father or a father figure, swore he was destined to be alone and wear the weight of his clan's duty on his shoulders.
Being the last Belmont holds some pain to him. Everyone around him dies, he's not meant to have anyone.
So why did he cave and take you in?
You're just like him when he was young, though he was a much rowdier child, he can't fault you for changing with your environment.
You lost everything, you were alone, you had no one.
Just like him.
But he didn't want the cycle to continue, he didn't want any more lives lost.
He had no one.
He wanted you to have someone.
Months turned into years, he watched you grow, watched you pick up on people's lies, watched you pick up your training fast, being able to handle yourself while he's not around so he no longer fears what could happen to you.
He still never got a name from you, maybe you didn't have one or wanted to lose that part of your life, but whatever your reasoning he doesn't care.
Two years on the road together, he couldn't imagine not having you with him. Deep down in his gut, he knew if anything happened to you he'd be devastated.
But that's a price he's willing to take.
He's killed people for trying to take you away, killed those trying to hurt you, and he's proud you can take on smaller monsters on your own.
It doesn't stop him from picking you up and sprinting when needed, but you seem to have fun, even giggling when you get to sneak into small crawl spaces to help him reach something or overhear something.
"I get to be a monster Hunter just like you!"
Oh, he wants you to reconsider, he wants you to live a normal life but with him as your guardian that won't be possible.
You'll end up in his profession where people often die young.
But he will do what he can to make sure you are ready for it, to make sure you live longer than those fallen before you.
His little love.
His little duckling.
He will make sure every monster is vanquished to make sure you're safe.
For now, he will stay in this temporary room making silly voices as he tells you a story, smiling at how you squeal and laugh as he tickles you like he's the big scary monster.
You are his daughter in everything but blood.
The circumstances may not have been ideal, but he'd do it all over again.
Every argument, every tantrum, every cry, every laugh, every gleeful ramble, every excited question.
He will do it all over again.
Just to make sure you're safely by his side. Even if it's just you and him facing the world.
As your journey takes you closer to Wallachia, a place where the monsters seem to be spawning from, he still holds you, carrying you tightly to his chest as you sleep soundly.
He will have to set up camp soon if he doesn't have some inn close by to sleep at, but it's all worth it, even as his legs ache from walking he won't stop.
A mumble catches his attention. Pausing in his step he looks down at you, seeing you sleepily looking up at him.
"Something wrong, little love?"
"Mm..."
Trevor chuckles, brushing some of your hair out of your face.
"Just sleep, we are almost to a resting spot."
You just hold onto his shirt tightly, almost as tightly as you did the night he saved you from those creatures.
"Are you okay, did you have a scary dream?"
"Can...can I call you dad?"
His heart swells, and his blue eyes are already shimmering with unshed tears. His throat feels tight, closing as he tries to stop himself from sobbing.
You have no idea how much he's thought of it, how much he's wanted to hear you call him 'dad' instead of 'Trevor.'
The days and nights he's spent taking care of you, protecting you, teaching you the basics of the world while teaching you how to fight.
"Of course. Everything but in blood we are family. I will sooner perish than let anything in this world hurt you."
He can't believe he's grown soft.
But every day he wakes up with a new sense of motivation.
And that's to take care of you.
You are his daughter.
You are a Belmont all the same.
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katsumiiii · 1 year ago
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⚔︎ — zoira (aka zoro x mira)
⚔︎ — nonchalant, laid-back bf x outgoing, shit talking gf
⚔︎ — synopsis: diff interactions between zoro and mira !
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✵ — zoro and mira are literally perfectly balanced. epitome of the laid back, chill boyfriend and the polar opposite, hyperactive girlfriend.
✵ — zoro has accepted that he can’t keep mira in check. though often he doesn’t attempt to. he can’t help but find it attractive watching her argue back and forth with some imbecile, or putting a peeping tom in their place. he’ll only step in if the situation gets out of hand or somebody tries(and fails) to put hands on her. in that case they might leave with a couple missing fingers !
✵ — mira is extremely competitive, which zoro finds to be the cutest thing in the world. she’ll always challenge him to drinking contests knowing good and damn well she’ll lose.
✵ — “if I win you have to do whatever I say for a whole week.”
✵ — “alright, if I win I get to train you for a week.” and he’s wearing that signature smug smirk because even though he loves her dearly, he would never hold back just because she’s his.
✵ — “fine. don’t be so fucking cocky.”
✵ — “m’not, I just know you’re gonna lose.”
✵ — “whatever asshole.”
✵ — loves when she gets smart with him. he’s always had a thing for strong minded women so whenever she so much as rolls her eyes or smacks her teeth he gets excited. zoro isn’t an overly dominant male, he has mutual respect for his partner (as any man should !), but he also knows she loves it when he puts her in her place.
✵ — “zoro don’t be a dick. there’s no reason for us to rush into battle without any information.”
✵ — “when have we ever had information about our opponents? our captain is in danger, and I’m not going sit and have a goddamn tea party while luffy needs our help.”
✵ — “so then what? you think slicing shit up will solve all our problems? you sound like a fucking meathead.”
✵ — “watch it. I understand you’re cautious, but I’ve already made up my mind.”
✵ — though it may seem like they would butt heads a lot, they don’t get into any ‘real’ arguments often. the most they may do is light bickering here and there.
✵ — “zoro! pick red or blue.”
✵ — “uh, blue.”
✵ — “alright so I’m choosing red then!”
✵ — “WHY’D YOU EVEN ASK ME??”
✵ — “why not!”
✵ — zoro has been conditioned to have mira by his side while he sleeps, so whenever he has a nap planned he’ll physically remove her from whatever it is she’s doing to continue his sleep session.
✵ — “nami do you think this top will go well with these-”
✵ — “bed, now.”
✵ — “god you sound like a neanderthal”
✵ — “don’t care.” and he’d pick her up as she’s complaining about his lack of manners and plop down against the mast of the ship, sitting her in his lap and placing his palms against her waist. “go to sleep.”
✵ — “mhm..whatever you say zo’.”
✵ — overall zoro and mira are too cute and I ship so bad !!
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yzeltia · 2 years ago
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Year of the OTP - January
January: Snow & Historical "AU" Characters: U'rahn Nuhn & @driftward 's Nyx Blackmoon Rating: T for Timey Wimey Notes: All future entries are gonna follow the same format; however, will be parodies of existing media and I'm very excited. Thanks to Driftward for their Blorbo and line editing for Nyx and mechanical passes!
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The wind howled as it blustered about the cabin, causing the fireplace to give a little whistle. Nose pressed to the window U'rahn sighed, letting his breath fog the pane.
"Is something wrong, Rahn," Nyx asked from behind.
"Well, I kinda wanted to go night sledding, but the weather doesn't look like it's going to cooperate."
"Did you consult a skywatcher before you made plans to come out here?"
U'rahn blinked then rubbed the back of his head, "No…I guess I should have."
"Agreed."
"Well, it's still a really nice cabin to hang out in. I'm glad we could borrow it for a night. We can just hang out by the fire and drink some cocoa."
"Would you like me to prepare your Hero Cocoa?"
U'rahn blushed and shook his head, "I can do that…you should just relax by the fire. Hey! I know! I'll tell you one of the stories my mom used to tell me as a boy. The Origin of Miqo'te!"
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"I am familiar with the origins of Miqo'te. But if you mean that as a storytale, I have not heard it," the women responded, moving by the fire to stand stiffly at attention as she watched U'rahn start to heat milk.
"Right! It started something along the lines of…Upon an Era, long ago, all the Miqo'te lived as one…"
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"Our food stores are running low. We're not going to last much longer if we don't figure out a better system of hunting," a golden-haired Miqo'te sighed.
"Agreed," his beautiful mate agreed, painting half her face in a traditional manner, "We are-"
"Rahn. The tradition of hunting paint did not come about until the Keeper tribes were well established."
"Really? Well…maybe I'm misremembering. The point is she was very beautiful and an adept huntress…Anyroad, at odds they started to debate…"
"Jua, I appreciate your insight; however, the best prey moves at night when the moon goddess shines her love down for us as we move shrouded by darkness. The day is far too bright and wears our people down fast."
"Nyx….I mean Mwezi! My beautiful wife. The sun goddess, for which all things thrive under her life giving love, brings us the best bounty for our people. The dark of night leaves our people prone to unseen be dangers that would be revealed in the day."
"You are incorrect."
"Then, let us make a contest of itd! You lead a team of hunters, and so shall I. Over one day we will see who's hunts yield the most."
"Acknowledged."
And so with a kiss, Jua and Mwezi parted company to organize their respective hunting parties. Here too they differed, Jua asked their people to choose among themselves who their best hunters were, and nominate them to come forward. Mwezi chose her companions herself, taking along only huntresses she'd seen prove themselves in battle before her own eyes.
"I am unsure of the veracity of this story, Rahn."
U'rahn looked back, tail swishing as he fiddled with some chocolate in a small bowl. "It's just a storytale! Things are probably a bit off from what really happened. I'm also doing it from memory," he explained away.
"Understood. Continue."
"Right, so Mwezi was the first to hunt."
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"The huntresses of the night party hunted close together through the night, ensuring one another stayed safe from any predators that might have chanced upon them. Their hunt took them all night, but by daybreak, they'd found their prize.
Meanwhile, at home, Jua waited for Mwezi to return. His heart ached while she was away, and as the sky went from black to blue he agonized over her return, worried the worst even though in his heart of hearts she was the superior hunter. He waited by the door, thinking only of her and how happy he'd be to see whatever she brought back, even if it meant she'd prove him wrong. His heart drummed within his chest thinking of-"
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"Rahn, I am unfamiliar with this story, but I do not understand what Jua's affections have to do with their contest."
U'rahn tilted his head tugging at a bag of large marshmallows before pulling too hard and sending them flying all over the counter. "I'm just…setting the stage a little. Basically, he loves her a bunch and that's important. Anyroad…"
"Daybreak soon came and Jua departed with the elected tribes folk into the light of day. Not needing to worry about hidden predators-"
"There are many species that have evolved to camouflage themselves in the day."
U'rahn stared at his girlfriend for a moment, only getting a stare back of course. Fluttering his ears, he returned to his confection.
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The group split managed to find many prizes, and by day's end had a rather large haul. Upon their arrival, Jua and the huntresses were all waking, and soon met the day party at the villager's center. 
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"Husband, you've returned," Mwezi greeted, watching as his party brought in their caravan of creatures, some felled, others kept alive for their potential as livestock.
"I have! I bring you twenty-six beasts that might serve for meals and or the longevity of the tribe! Behold the sun goddess's bounty," Jua cheered, gesturing to the creatures behind him.
"That is a menagerie of prey, husband," his wife stated plainly, staring quietly at what was brought in. "We will now present our hunt."
Behind her, the huntresses pulled in a giant buck, larger than their biggest dwelling. Pulling the beast to the tribe center, she nodded to Jua and said, "This one buck will provide meat for an entire moon, its bones will be used as tools for a generation, and the leathers we take will clothe us for just as long. It is the moon goddess that has provided for us."
The entire tribe cheered at the haul. Both husband and wife embraced but then parted.
"It seems both our paths were prosperous this day…but we are not normally so fortunate. Perhaps it was our pride and determination."
"We are a large people. The ecosystem would falter if we hunted with this amount of success every day. I've concluded that our hunting styles and leadership were not to blame. We are too much for this land to take care of. I propose, for a time, we divide ourselves to the north and south to let the land recover."
"How would we ever divide our people though, my beautiful wife?"
"I will take those who hunt by the moon to the north where the days are short. And you, Jua, will take those who hunt by the sun to the south where the days persist."
Jua frowned, "I would be apart from you my love. "
"It is necessary for our tribe to live on."
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Jua sighed then held his wife tight, knowing she was right. And so the tribes split, wandering far from one another. Though Jua made sure to visit his beloved Mwezi in the North, when they passed, the two new tribes found little reason to come together. And so, the Keepers and Seekers came to live on separately from one another, evolving from the lovers' small sacrifice of time into healthy tribes that scattered the world over—the end.
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U'rahn smiled as he brought over a tray of cocoa and crackers, sitting down by the fire, Nyx lowering herself beside him.
"A good story, yeah?"
"Allagan records indicate the Keepers became night hunters due evolutionary attributes in their eyes allowing them to perceive more light in the darkness, marked by their pupils' dialated appearance.  The Seekers have narrow pupils, allowing them to see greater detail in their surroundings as they don't have to adjust for the intensity of the light around them. To survive, it was necessary to form bonds with those who had similar biological advantages for hunting. I do not believe your story was true, Rahn."
U'rahn frowned a bit and shook his head, "Well, it probably isn't. It's just a storytale…or a umm…"
"Fable. As a story, I can appreciate it. Thank you for sharing it with me."
The Nuhn lit up a bit then scooted closer to his girlfriend, as she looked down at her cocoa. Atop, two marshmallows floated, one with cinnamon sprinkled on top and a crudely drawn cat face, the other dipped half way in dark chocolate with two mismatched eyes. "You have made these gelatin cubes into our likeness."
"Well, I figured I'd make something special…y'know, for us. Our own version of Herrro chocolate."
"Understood. Thank you, Rahn."
"A good experrrience?"
"Yes, Rahn."
Drinking his cocoa deep, he let out a happy purr then leaned against her as he tangled their tails together. Fluttering his ears, he sighed happily then began to doze, Nyx quickly taking his mug before it could spill over into their laps. Outside, the snow continued to fall, and once Nyx had finished her drink she nudged U'rahn awake, leading him sleepily upstairs to rest properly together for the night.
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queen-of-writing-bad-things · 9 months ago
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Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 5
Episode 3: Thumb War Part 1
~Downtown Swellview, in backstreet alley~
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Oh, (y/n) loved this job.  Some women got to jet all over the world and drink cocktails for a living, which genuinely happened to this one girl she knew in college - Melanie something or other. Yeah, good old Mel got to spend her evenings in Bora Bora watching the sunset, others got to relax in their penthouse suites after a gruelling day in court as a sleek, successful lawyer, whose biggest worry is what to order at the five-star restaurant they dine at every night. 
(y/n)'s nights were different. There was no sunset, the concrete jungle took care of that by hiding the horizon. She certainly wasn't being wined and dined with filet mignon and a Bordeaux, no, she and Ray didn't have that kind of money. What they did have was emergencies coming out of their ears because as usual, the criminals didn't come to Captain Man and co, they went to them.
That's how they'd ended up in one of the grottiest, grossest areas in all of Swellview--and believe me, Swellview had quite a few. It was dark, duh, because there could never be a crime on a nice, sunny day in one of the posh estates, and there was no one around--the perfect place for a nice robbery or murder. Yeah, their criminal had decided to make a shady backstreet carlot his digs, but whatever, they'd been in worse spots. 
And the guy wasn't even that big of a deal. Sure, he was a pain in the ass, but whatever criminal wasn't? Stainless Steve was hardly gonna go down as the world's greatest mastermind, rather the wackiest. His entire get-up made him look like an oven-ready turkey--all wrapped up in aluminium clothing. Steel shoes, steel-lined, foil clothing, dyed silver hair with added shiny highlights and gloves with iron knuckledusters under the metallic padding. 
He looked weird, really weird, but no matter how tough he thought he was, beating him up was a walk in the park for Captain Man and Miss Danger tag-teamed him, with the kid watching on the sidelines. A few punches from the hero here, a couple of kicks from the heroine there and Steve was getting tired. It wasn't glamorous by any means but god, she loved this job.
Ray grunted as he sucker-punched the metal man across his cheeks, making him collapse onto his knees as his face stung from the impact. Captain Man's strength was living up to its name, but the worse was yet to come. As he knelt, defeated on the ground but just gathering his energy to give the smirk hero a taste of his own medicine, (y/n) swooped in with a sharp kick to the chest, metal boot hitting metal jacket, and Steve stayed down. Probably a wise choice to stay there and wheeze as Ray grinned and pecked at his girl's lips for being so goddamn hot.
"You wanna tag in, kid?" The man asked his other sidekick as he pulled away from his blushing finacée so Henry could get some action. They'd been doing all the heavy lifting for the last ten minutes, wanting to do some couple fighting since they bounced off how hot the other was when throwing fists, but now, the kid looked like he was itching to do something useful. So, they elected to take a break as he was doing now, after all, a mid-battle kiss and cuddle wasn't so bad, was it?
"Yeah, yeah, yeah! You work on this sandwich, I'll work on Stainless Steve!" Henry garbled through a mouthful of PB and J. A mid-battle snack wasn't so bad either and Ray was endlessly hungry so he didn't mind splitting it with the kid, who was already springing to his feet at the opportunity of going to pound town on this clown.
"Deal. We'll munch, you punch." Ray grinned as they high-fived on the way past, Ray snatching the half-eaten sandwich as he guided (y/n) over to an oil drum. He could perch her on his knee and lavish his attention on her with kisses, sweet words and soft touches whilst his other sidekick burnt off some steam. And he got an evening morsel--win-win.
"I'd much rather work on you, Captain..." The woman teased her lover as Ray took a seat, causing his smirk to grow even wider. She too sat down, feeling emboldened under his dark gaze and how eating the sandwich was the last thing on his mind when he had an angel tempting him in ways that shouldn't have been possible. Perhaps he had to keep an eye on Henry too, but that didn't mean he could multitask. Kid, sandwich, hot future wife, he could do that.
"I'm gonna wreck you, Kid Danger," Steve growled as he slowly stood up, his chest and face still aching from the couple's assault, but he was less concerned about them. Sure, Captain Man and his girlfriend or whatever she was these days could take him but now it was just him versus a skinny, pathetic child. What could go wrong?
"Yeah, I don't think so, Steve. I have super-fast reflexes, so don't even try--" Henry chuckled with his boss at how cocky the villain was. He was the one with the superpower, he could move super-fast, no one else, Steve was fighting a losing battle, at least that's what they all thought. So, when the metal man backhanded the kid across the face before he could even finish his sentence, it came as quite a shock. Who was the cocky one now?
"Oh! Nice shot, Steve!" Ray exclaimed, shooting up from the oil drum so quickly that (y/n) nearly lost her balance. What gives? She was pulling out all of her best moves; fluttering eyelashes, big, doe eyes, innocent kisses to his cheek that then drifted to his jaw or lips, she wanted to seduce him and yet he was now preoccupied with how much Henry was sucking and that damn sandwich. Huh...rude.
"Don't compliment the criminal!" (y/n) snapped at her stupid doofus, who pouted when she took a speedy bite out of the PB and J to ruffle his feathers. Normally, the girl wasn't in the habit of sharing one snack between herself and two others but if she wasn't gonna get any kisses then she might as well do something else, and her sulking made Ray smile. He couldn't wait to take her home.
"Okay, you know what? That's it." Henry grumbled, having had enough toying with the guy, he just needed to let off some steam. No one punched Kid Danger, made him look like an idiot and got away to tell the tale. Looking over his shoulder, the teen whacked Stainless Steve repeatedly in the nose, his hands moving so fast that they became a red and blue blur. And Ray was loving it, his little movements and shimmies in time with every beat were so adorable as he watched his youngest sidekick beat the crap out of the guy, fists thumping against the metal but never tiring.
Henry gripped the criminal's jacket as his punches jackhammered the man's face, spreading pain throughout his nose until the guy couldn't take it anymore. His eyes rolled back and the kid knew he was done, so he relented to catch his breath and to watch Steve go floppy in unconsciousness.
"Careful, don't fall." He warned him breathlessly, even though he knew that the man was out for the count and couldn't hear him even if he wanted to, so it was no surprise when he fell back onto the ground with a scraping thud. "Aw, you forgot to be careful..." 
"Hey, nice job, K-D!" (y/n) grinned at the boy, strolling over to his side to share a fist bump with him since he'd pulled some pretty sick moves there. She never tired of seeing his lightning reflexes in action, just like he never tired of seeing all of her bruises disappear in under ten seconds. 
God, he wished he had that, his knuckles seriously needing icing, but that would have to wait until they got back to the Man Cave and he dreaded hearing Ray's complaints about how he wanted his fiancée all to himself after taking down one of the most irritating criminals in the city. Still, what needed to be done had to be done and his hands were sore.
"Thanks, Miss Danger," he grinned at the woman as his tender knuckles met her healed ones before he turned to Ray, who was still munching the sandwich, "okay, let's call the cops and have them come pick up this--yo! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Watch out! Wath out!"
"Holy shit, turn around, doofus!" But suddenly, there was no option for going back to the Man Cave. The hero stood there obliviously as his sidekicks watched in horror at how a Mini Cooper hurtled towards him in reverse. They had no time to react to how random it was, just that Ray was standing there eating like nothing was wrong because he was completely unaware that he was about to be flattened, and as usual, he thought their warning meant nothing. What a doofus.
"Watch out for what?" He asked in confusion but there was no urgency or worry in his voice and neither was he in a rush to do what they said. The danger was over, they'd caught the bad guy, kicked his ass and now, it was time for them to relax. All this hurrying wasn't his style, not when he had a half-decent sandwich in his hand and his eyes on the most beautiful woman in the world. Who'd want to turn their back on her?
"Just turn around, please!"
"Doofus, for the love of God, just turn around! Please, if you love me, turn around!" The boy and woman pleaded with him, wanting to avert disaster before it struck. Of course, it wasn't as if Ray would die or be seriously injured if he got hit, his indestructibility would protect him but that still didn't make it okay to just stand back and watch. He was their friend, boss, lover, and brother from another mother, whatever their connection, they cared about him and seeing him be run over by a tiny yet powerful British car made them cringe. If only he'd listen.
"Sweet girl, you know I can't take my eyes off you. I'm not losing the sight of you standing there, looking all pretty for you, the kid or anybody..." Oh, god. Should she melt or punch him for being a lovable idiot? 
"Move out of the way! We're not joking, dude!"
"I can't hear you, there's like a car coming or--" Too late. Oh well, at least Henry and (y/n) could say that they tried to save him, and it was Ray's fault that he was catapulted halfway across the parking lot when the Mini backed into him. To be fair, if it wasn't her beloved moron, the woman probably would've laughed at how comical it was to see a huge man fly through the air screaming, only to land on the concrete with a small squeak. However, when that squeak had such a familiar groan following it, all her heart could do was tense in worry.
"Oh my god!" She shrieked and ran after him, Henry quickly on her tail as tears sprung in her eyes, although they'd never fall. Now was not the time for sentiment, now was the time to make sure that he was okay--and he was. Captain Man is always okay if a little embarrassed.
"Dude, you all right?" Henry panted as they skidded to the spot where Ray had finally stopped rolling. He was moaning and groaning, perhaps a little delirious from the pain of a fall and blunt force trauma that would kill anyone else, but apart from that, he was still dumb old Ray.
"Yeah, I'm o...okay!" The hero groaned as the pain fizzled out and his vision cleared from the blurriness, bringing his friend and sweet girl back into focus. Aw, she did look all pretty tonight and the only thing that marred her exquisite features was the worry etched across her face from how he stumbled over his words. Well, he'd sooner put an end to that.
"Are you sure, doofus? How are you feeling?" (y/n) asked as she knelt to brush the back of her fingers across his forehead, which was slightly clammy and sticky from the fight and impact but she knew that that dopey look on his face wasn't due to a concussion, neither was her grabbing her hand to squeeze through the pain. He was on manoeuvres.
"Like I'm on cloud nine when I look at you, baby," Ray replied with a toothy grin, making her face burn as Henry groaned. Great, he got all concerned for nothing when in reality, his boss was just gonna use this as an excuse to have a nurse tonight--and he did not want to see or hear that.
"Oh, god. He's fine!" Henry argued, knowing that whilst some doctors might think the man was on some pretty strong hallucinogenic painkillers or something, the reality was that his brain was like that twenty-four-seven.
"I think I might need a kiss to make it better..." was his tongue-in-cheek reply. Oh, the gall of this guy. Whilst (y/n) laughed, Henry wrinkled his nose and turned his back, bored at how with every passing day, with every step closer they got to finally tying the knot, they got touchier and grosser. 
He refused to look as the girl bent to seal their lips together, the sweetest medicine Ray could've received and suddenly, the residual pain faded away and in its place, a burst of energy arrived. Call it energy or desire but Ray quickly felt the need to return home as he sat up in that dimly lit parking lot, following her lips as she pulled away after a minute. If they were at home, he could pull her to a private corner or pull her back down for more but it was cold and open here, not the place for him to go in a second time.
"Later, doofus. We still need to deal with Stainless Steve." (y/n) reminded him as she sat back on her haunches before straightening to her full height. She wouldn't mind playing nurse and indulging him when then they were safely back at the Man Cave, just not when they had work to do first. All that needed doing was getting Steve to jail and then they could revert to their normal lives. Duty first, pleasure second, that's how it went for them.
"Ugh, fine! Let's call the cops on this bozo, they can deal with him." Ray conceded, agreeing that they couldn't have another blood bank incident where they leave the criminal to return to his devices. They began to stroll back to the spot where Steve had been lying, but things weren't as they had left them.
Their criminal was gone, no longer on the ground where Henry had dropped him and in his place, there was a camera crew and that pretty young reporter from KLVY News. Huh. Odd. The news must've gotten wind of what they were up to because they hadn't made the call and no one was around to witness the fighting occurring. Very strange, indeed.
"Uh, guys. Why are they here?" (y/n) asked her doofus and friend as their relaxed stroll picked up into a brisk pace. She thought she'd heard voices earlier but she'd just put it down to kids or some low-level criminals hanging around in the shadows; not once had she expected it to be a camera crew ready for an interview. Okay, that was fine, she could do an interview, it wasn't like she was the sole speaker and they didn't frighten her as they once did. No, this was weird but fine, just another factor in a normal night for them.
"They're probably here to interview us, sweetheart, y'know, 'cause we're superheroes. Come on..." Ray grinned at the thought of being in the limelight and basking in the glory that came with yet another successful takedown of a pesky criminal who blighted the city. He'd take the lion's share of the camera and fame and (y/n) was fine with that; whatever was left could go to Henry because her idea of hell was performing in front of the nation as they scrutinised her every move.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we need to tell them about the fight!" Henry grinned and sped up into a jog with the couple so they could catch the woman and her crew before they left the scene. This was as close as he'd get to being thanked for what he did, so he took every opportunity to let the praise wash over him, even if Henry Hart would never be thanked or acknowledged.
And so, they skidded to a halt in front of the camera and a frankly stunned reporter, panting from the sudden exercise but they'd made it and that's all that mattered. But what was odd was that the woman didn't look happy to see them, more surprised or dare (y/n) guess...disgusted, uninterested? That was new.
"Hey! Hey! What's up?!"
"What's going on? We're here!" The boys rambled as they swiftly smoothed their hair and painted their best smiles on their faces as they stared down the lens of the camera. Miss Danger settled for just standing there with a soft smile on her face; they could do all the talking because she guaranteed that their words would be infinitely better than whatever she could come up with.
"Are we on the news?"
"Are we live right now?"
"Yes!" Well, that answered those questions. Without even batting an eyelid, the reporter pushed her shock to the back of her mind and tightened her smile, moving on like the interruption was a mere bump in the road for her. Three superheroes coming out of nowhere and crashing her report? That was nothing and she quickly accommodated them, including them because after what she'd just witnessed, she'd love to get their reaction.
"As you can see, I am now with Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger." She grinned into the camera, pausing to look at the heroes in turn as they lined up, Ray subtly taking his sweet girl's hand to remind her that he was there. Like he always said when she worried about being on TV, it wasn't something to stress about, only a chance for them to revel in their excellence--y'know, the usual bigheaded crap that she only tolerated from him.
"So...what's up?" 
"Huh, what's up? What do you mean?"
"What's up with you? What do you mean?" The question came as a surprise for the trio because it was so basic and generic, not the usual snappy ones they got, which were all about finding out the who, when and why.
"What do you want?" Okay, then... This had suddenly gotten very awkward. They were heroes, they'd just defeated a bad guy and a news crew had turned up. What did she think they wanted?
"Well, I figured you'd wanna interview us about Stainless Steve and uh, the people of Swellview might wanna know that the city is safe once again..." Ray replied, smirking as he inclined his head towards the presumably grateful audience at home, but that was when something became very apparent to his sidekicks. Something was lacking, something missing and it was kind of a problem.
"Uh, dude, dude, dude, dude!"
"....thanks to us, so you're welcome--what, what, what?! You're not seeing me on the news?!" Ray snapped as Henry and (y/n) prodded his arm, vying for his attention so they could point out their problem. It was rather important, so even if he got pissed at them, not that he would over such a trivial thing, they did it anyway.
"Uh, Captain, Stainless Steve is gone."
"What?" Ray gawped at his girl's face before taking a look around. She was right too; Steve was gone, vanished, stolen, whatever, he wasn't in the spot where they'd left him. What the--- did they miss something? They'd only been gone a second and in that time, their man had done a runner right before they could slap the cuffs on him.
"Where'd Stainless Steve go?" Ray stuttered, looking just as lost as his sidekicks because they could swear that he was out for the count when he'd been rammed by that rogue car, Great, that was them not going home tonight, it looks like they were off on a search for the metal man, but strangely, the reporter had all the answers.
"He was captured by The Thumb Buddies!" She told them, changing her voice at the end to sound proud and dramatic, but she wasn't making any sense to the three. The what? Seriously, had they missed something? Was she saying that somebody else had stolen their win?
"What?"
"I'm so sorry, what did you say?" Ray and Henry stuttered as they tried to understand what she was telling them. Not being praised and showered with gratitude was like a slap to the face and Ray found himself needing the support from holding his girl's hand, not the other way around, because what the hell?
"You sound like you said somebodys. Did you say somebody's?"
"We captured Stainless Steve--I don't know what she's saying, I'm just trying to explain to her that they and I captured Stainless Steve..."
"Yeah, I don't think she's listening." (y/n) stopped the boys' ramblings as she caught sight of the woman's glazed, empty stare and how she had that expression on her face that only came with experience. Y'know, that expression you develop after dealing with men for most of your adult life; the nod-and-pretend-you're-listening face for when they keep talking and won't shut up. Most journalists have them and this one was just waiting for the heroes to let her return to work.
"Thank you. I'm Kimberly Cross, crossing off." Ray, Henry and (y/n) were left stunned as the woman spoke loudly over their explanations and excuses before tootling off, taking her mic and cameraman with her and leaving them to stand there in confusion.
"Where are you going? Are you done?"
"That's not the end of the interview, is it? 'Cause I had more to say, he was talking and I was talking and--oh, hey, I found the sandwich!" And as the reporter climbed into her news van and drove off, Ray soon found himself with a lot of questions; where had their guy gone and who had stolen the limelight?
"No, dirty!" (y/n) growled as she watched her lover lunge for the remnants of the sandwich he'd dropped after being hit by the car, which she suspected had belonged to the guys who'd snatched their arrest. It had fallen in the mud after that, with one side of the crisp, white bread now stained black and there was no way she was gonna kiss him if he ate something off the ground. God, was it worth it?
"Aw..." Jeez, it wasn't Ray's night tonight. No capture, no thanks and now, no sandwich. At least he had home to look forward to, after all, that concussion might just make a return the moment he stepped foot in his bedroom. He only hoped that there was a nurse on call.
~One week later, the Man Cave~
For one week, there was peace. Not an easy peace, but peace nonetheless. The Thumb Buddies, as the team discovered, were an up-and-coming duo popping up all over town at various little rescues or missions and whilst it irritated the hell out of Ray and Henry, they didn't do anything to stop and find out who they really were and what they were up to. 
So, here they were, one week later, one week older, and (y/n) was still putting up with their bitching and moaning since she wasn't going to get herself worked up over two guys who were just lightening their load. It was the boys who were mumbling and grumbling as they were called out to yet another emergency at the local baseball game, which left their headquarters in the hands of Charlotte, the smart one and Jasper, the not-so-smart one.
"Uh, what are you wearing?" Said smart one asked the not-so-smart one as she stepped out of the elevator and glanced up from her PearPad. Jasper, in all of his genius, had chosen one of the worst shirts he could have possibly chosen to put on that morning and Charlotte knew that the garment was gonna stir up some trouble when Ray got back.
"Oh! This is my Thumb Buddies shirt." That's what was gonna get him hung drawn and quartered.
"Yeah, well, you better take that off," She advised as she strolled past. It was better to warn him now, that way when it all went wrong and Ray was scrambling to wrap his fingers around his neck, Charlotte could at least say she tried to save him. Come on, that shirt was just begging to be ripped off.
"Why?" Jasper frowned, showing just how unaware he was. Had he not met Ray Manchester? The biggest man-child around? (y/n) wasn't always gonna be around to protect him and calm her baby down, so what then? Jasper might as well have betrayal scrawled across his forehead in permanent marker.
"Because, last week, Ray, (y/n) and Henry caught that criminal, Stainless Steve and those Thumb Buddies guys took credit for the capture." The girl explained as if it hadn't been the talk of the Man Cave all week. God, (y/n) must've been exhausted, she had been soothing his bruised ego all week, telling him that it was all right and to focus on her instead, which had been the sole reason for the uneasy peace they'd found.
"So?" And Jasper seemed to have a death wish. Did he want to be thrown into the pot and boiled to death?
"So, Ray and Henry were pretty mad about it and (y/n) can't hold them back forever, so if I was you—" Charlotte's advice ran out as the tubes beeped and dropped, bringing down Kid Danger in the left one and Captain Man in the right one, with Miss Danger wrapped up in his arms. Oh dear, here came the blood bath; if he was smart, he'd take the shirt off now...
"Hey! How'd it go at the baseball game?" Charlotte didn't miss a beat, figuring that if she stayed calm and acted natural, maybe, just maybe, the boys wouldn't notice the abomination that was Jasper's shirt. Ray didn't look in his direction very much anyway and it's not like having two, smiling guys and their names splashed across your chest isn't obvious...right?
"Oh, I don't know, I'd say it went pretty well..." Ray replied with a huge grin on his face as the three came down from the tubes with a certain bounce in their step that hinted to the teens that they knew more than they were letting on. Well, they were in a good mood, that was a positive sign for Jasper's survival and despite how noticeable it was, the hero and sidekicks hadn't seen the shirt yet, rather they were too caught up in whatever it was they had to reveal.
"Uh, yeah, we didn't do that much other than, uh..."
"WE FOUGHT A BEAR!" (y/n) just couldn't hold it in, not when she was still on her adrenaline high. Not to brag but it had been the most awesome mission of her life. Full of danger, full of daring stunts, full of risk, which normally, she wasn't a fan of but she had to admit, seeing Ray tackle the beast head-on was something that wouldn't be leaving her dreams for the next few weeks. It was hot.
"We fought a bear! Yes, we did!" "Oh my god, we did that! We did fight a bear!" Henry and Ray turned into giddy schoolboys as the excitement came flooding out of them too. If (y/n) found it exciting, then they found it unbearable because heaven knows that they sort the danger, stunts and risks a lot more than she did. And judging by how they were screaming in each other's faces, with Ray giggling like a child on Christmas when his nose brushed (y/n)'s, it was quite the battle.
"Hey, hey, hey! What bear?" Jasper butted in, not wanting to ruin their vectoring shrieking but come on, they couldn't just leave them in the dark like that. Screw the bear, him wearing that shirt in front of them and then drawing their attention was risky, but even so, the heroes didn't notice, not yet anyway.
"Okay, okay, so, shall I tell them the story?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Henry asked his boss with a huge grin on his face since he didn't know if Ray wanted to bask in the glory of this and be the one to retell the tale but he was surprisingly fine with it. Of course, he was; he had other business to attend to, such as sharing a post-fight with his sweet girl as the adrenaline high always made it that much better.
"All right, all right," Henry gathered himself as Ray took a moment to tightly hold (y/n) against his chest, her arms wrapping around his neck as their lips met and Henry knew that he had a few seconds to shine, "These college kids brought a real-life bear to the baseball game!"
"Yeah, you know, just to be funny," Ray added as he and (y/n) broke apart. The kiss was good but neither of them could resist being a part of this story, not when it made them seem so epic. 
"Which it was. Dangerous, but funny." The woman added, beaming up at her doofus as his hands stayed on her hips, keeping her close and he was inclined to agree with her. Sure, the bear could have killed everyone on the field but it did make everyone chuckle to see several grown men wet themselves. And besides, it wasn't like Swellview's greatest heroes couldn't handle it.
"Oh, it was hilarious."
"So hilarious," Henry and Ray agreed, the latter smiling down at his sweet girl as she drunkenly giggled at the memory. No one got hurt so it was okay to laugh, right? Of course, if someone had lost an arm or had a leg swallowed then she'd be suitably sombre but since that wasn't the case, it was fine...yeah. It was fine.
"Anyway, until the hotdog guy came out." Henry carried on with the story as Jasper munched on some chips. Any second now, they would see the shirt, once the story was over and they weren't so chipper, that would be it and he just wasn't bothered.
"Yeah, you know weiners?"
"Yeah, I love weiners." The boy nodded through a mouthful of the fried potatoes because he was loving hearing this story as much as they loved telling it. Charlotte was just waiting for him to get rinsed; now that would be the real blockbuster.
"So, the bear, he gets a whiff of the weiners, right? And he just loses his mind! Chases the poor Weiner guy right onto the field!" Ray continued, getting visibly more and more animated as he relived those exhilarating moments. He'd just acted on instinct for the next part, maybe a show of bravado for the crowd watching as well as one lovely young woman in particular, but either way, his reputation was shining brighter than ever.
"So, Ray, being the adorable doofus he is, chases the bear onto the field!"
"I did, I did!" Ray's cheeks flushed slightly under the adoring gaze of (y/n), who couldn't help but feel her tummy flutter when he'd risked his safety doing something that was admittedly, very stupid but also kinda hot. It was selfless and that wild spark of passion in his eye was just another reason for her to fall in love with him, as was the way his hand found hers without even having to break eye contact.
"And check this out. He tackles the bear!"
"I tackled a bear! I tackled a real-life bear!" Ray couldn't help but skip around a bit at Henry's revelation, even if it meant dropping his girl's hand as quickly as he picked it up to squeeze it. Oh well, he was excited, she knew that and it allowed her to admire the man as he glowed with pride and maybe a bit of ego too. Damn, she knew those muscles were big but today, they seemed even bigger. 
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, and the bear gets up, he's like, oooargggghh! And there's spit coming out of his mouth, arrroooghhh! He slashes at me, his claws just scrape right across my face!" Ray exclaimed as if the details of him nearly being mutilated weren't horrific to hear. 
Perhaps that had been a bit of a terrifying moment for (y/n), seeing her almost-husband getting shredded until she remembered that he was Captain Man. There was no need to worry, the pain only lasted for a second and he'd been through worse, no matter how much her heart instinctively bled to see him wince from the claws.
"Oh my god!" Charlotte gasped. She certainly felt the same terror (y/n) had and was wondering how the woman could still be smiling because that sounded awful--the sort of thing that she'd work herself until a nervous frenzy over. And yet here she was, giggling and blushing like a schoolgirl as she drooled over her fiancé, nothing new there but why wasn't she laying down the law? Giving them the third degree for being so reckless? Why had she participated?
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I guess that he thought that Ray was gonna go down or something like that but--"
"Instead, the bear goes, ooooraggh! Which I guess in bear language probably means...."
"Uh-oh, this doofus is indestructible!" She was laughing because everything had turned out fine. Why stress about something when you can laugh about it instead? The bear had gone in for the kill, expecting Captain Man to have his innards as his outards as he gnarled and viciously pawed at his stomach and face, but when Ray grunted through the pain and stayed in one piece, all of the danger disappeared.
"Stupid bear had no idea that I can't be harmed!" Ray yelled, gesturing wildly to his still perfect face as (y/n) stepped over to wind her arms around his neck, unable to keep her distance any longer. His hands landed on her waist, keeping her close as the story continued with the same energy, the same longing looks, but just a physical connection that couldn't be ignored any longer.
"We are smarter than a bear!"
"We are smart than a bear!"
"We are the smarter species!"
"Yes, that happened!" And that was the end of that. Charlotte and Jasper were left...regaled as (y/n) finally pressed her lips to Ray's for the first time in minutes because neither of them would ever get enough of that. For some reason, they were just drawn to each other today, more than usual and the high from the fight wasn't helping. They were living their best lives and it showed, no wonder they couldn't keep their hands to themselves.
"Wow..."
"Unreal, man." The teens complimented them on their big win. Charlotte didn't sound particularly thrilled but that was just how she was. It was impressive and like Jasper, she found herself to be quite entertained by the grandeur of it all and speaking of grandeur, (y/n) had a brainwave. If two kids were entertained by the tale, who was to say that others weren't? After all, it's not like that baseball park had been empty, far from it. A couple thousand people from it, to be exact.
"Sweet cheese, we might be on the news! I bet they're talking about us right now," The woman gasped, looking up at her lover with sparkling eyes and his grin grew from the moment she said the word 'news'. Ever since the debacle with Stainless Steve, Ray had been anxious to get a new story in the press to make them all seem like the best team around again, but there had been nothing of substance worth reporting, which left them at a stalemate. Until now.
"I like the way you think, sweet girl..." He smirked and immediately began to lead her over to the supercomputer where they could hear all of their heroic actions being broadcasted to the city. He wouldn't mind seeing an action replay of how she gave the beast a swift jab to the snout after it wandered a little too close to Kid Danger for her liking; even when he was still reeling from being mauled, it was so hot to witness and seeing it again would be a godsend.
"Yeah, let's see what they're saying about us," Henry smiled and so, they all gathered around the computer. The trio stood back a little so they could soak up the story and bask in their awesomeness, which just left Charlotte and Jasper to bring it up on the monitor.
"Okay...coming up, now."
"And Trent, this happened just moments ago?" Mary suddenly appeared on the screen, sporting her usual blonde bob as she looked across at her colleague. Oh good, they hadn't started their report yet, they hadn't missed it. Fresh off the press, that was more like it, so much better than that Thumb Buddies crap.
"That's right, Mary..." Trent nodded, causing a surge of excitement to run up Ray, (y/n) and Henry's spines. Any minute now, they'd announce how awesome they were and then the Thumb Buddies would be history.
"See? They're talking about us!" "Fought a bear, my man!" It was kinda cute just how excited they were and (y/n) wasn't about to complain, not when her hero wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her in close, encasing her in his warmth and the scent of his cologne. She could feel his smile pressed against her neck as he refused to let go of the hug, wanting to hold her there as he heard the praise coming from the news crew. At that moment, life couldn't get any better.
"Okay, now, we're gonna go live to the scene where it all went down and talk with the actual heroes who saved the day." However, you can only go so high until there's nowhere left to go but back down. Their smiles deflated when they heard that because it didn't make any sense. They'd left the baseball field, they were safely anonymous and hidden in the Man Cave, how were they meant to do an interview now?
"What? How are they gonna interview us right now?" Henry asked, looking back at the perplexed couple as the cold seeped into their fluffy warmth. Oh dear, this didn't feel right, (y/n)'s tummy was talking to her, telling her that this next bit of news wasn't gonna be something any of them wanted to hear. 
"Yeah, yeah, 'cause we're here..." Ray muttered and just to make sure that they hadn't been tailed or anything, the boys checked behind them to make sure that there were no pesky reporters that needed a Memory Wiper to the face. That was dumb but the young woman with them let it slide; she didn't want to upset them any further, not when she sensed that Trent was about to cause a shitstorm.
"Thanks, Trent," said the reporter who had been with them the other night, bringing their attention back to their screen and oh, it wasn't good, "I'm here live at Nacho Ball, where a local, sweaty man committed a crime just moments ago."
"What, what, what is all this about?" Ray stammered, looking at his sweet girl for answers as they moved closer to the screen with heartbroken, confused expressions. Their big moment was gone, it had been replaced with a crappy fast-food restaurant instead, which stung. His girl could give him the answer, right? She was smart, she knew stuff, she made things clear with that big brain of hers when he didn't understand, she knew what was going on and it was all fine...it had to be.
"Why are they at Nacho Ball?"
"Don't look at me, I know just as much as you about this..." (y/n) told them. For once, she didn't have all the answers, rather, she was in the dark too, with nothing to go off except her gut and that was telling her that this wasn't going to be easy to hear. Oh, her poor doofus, her poor Hen, they were gonna throw fists first and ask questions later because they took so much pride in being the number one heroes in this town. To be outdone on their turf, it didn't look good.
"Can you tell us what happened?" The reporter asked a miserable looking girl, who seemed to have a perpetual wobbly lip and permanent tears in her eyes like someone had just told her the worst news in the world. Sure, she worked at the grossest Nacho Ball in town, but come on, was life that sucky for her?
"Yeah...Um, this guy, I think his name is Jeff, he ordered a three-ball nacho sack and when he paid for it, he handed me a coupon." The whiny girl described. So far, so...normal.
"But there was something wrong with that coupon, wasn't there?"
"Yeah! It was expired!" Jeez, this girl was whiny. It made (y/n) wonder what had happened to make her so teary because surely, getting so upset over one coupon wasn't worth it, not when her mascara was in danger of running down her face and making her look like a panda.
"Kimberly, we've just received cell phone video of the attempted Nacho Ball crime, so we're gonna show that right now," Trent butted in and suddenly, the viewers were being shown some blurry, shaky footage of what had gone down in the restaurant and suddenly, their suffering made sense. This guy was the author of their frustration, rather, because every time something irritated them, he was always there.
"Okay, that'll be twelve-twenty-one."
"Oh, yeah, sure. Here's a Nacho Ball coupon for twenty bucks."
"Great. I will just ring this up." "Thanks, bro!"
"That's Jeff!" Ray pointed out, knowing that tubby belly, moronic voice and dumb cap anywhere. Of course, it was him, where there was trouble for him and his sidekicks to sort out, Jeff was there too. His arms tightened around his sweet girl as he couldn't help but tense his muscles in aggravation, and (y/n) responded in turn. If she allowed her doofus to get worked up every time Jeff did something dumb, she'd be walking a greying old man down the aisle, not a super-hot hero.
"It's okay, doof. Everyone knows how stupid he is." She soothed him, tilting her head back into a rather awkward angle just to peck his chin affectionately. Ray softened at that and instantly relaxed when his mind focused on her tender love rather than stupid Jeff and the woman was left satisfied when the creases on his forehead relaxed and his shoulders slumped a bit, The ensuing kiss to the top of her head wasn't bad either.
"This coupon expired four days ago."
"Oh, I didn't know."
"Oh, sure you didn't." The whiny girl sneered as Jeff frowned at the expired coupon with knitted eyebrows and in a moment of colossal overreacting, the girl slammed her hand onto the panic button on the counter—the one reserved for when they were genuinely being robbed.
"HELP! THIS GUY HERE IS TRYING TO ROB US!" And that's when everything went to shit. To be fair to Jeff, and (y/n) couldn't believe she was sticking up for him, but it was a bit much how she assumed that he was a robber just because he had a dodgy coupon. Dare she say that she felt sorry for him in a way? The ensuing sirens, alarms and flashing lights were a bit much as he stood there and protested his innocence, right up until someone tackled him from behind.
A tall man with an orange cape leapt onto Jeff's back, slamming him into the counter and wrestling him to the floor like he was a WWE champion. Then, as Jeff was wriggling for freedom from the sudden assault, another guy joined the fray, pouncing on his friend's back and pinning Jeff to the tiles even more, possibly squishing his pancreas in the process too. They'd slapped the cuffs on him quicker than Ray, (y/n) and Henry could blink and upon freezing the frame, they saw who'd upstaged them with such a miraculous counter.
The damn Thumb Buddies.
"Whoa! Gosh, that was the bravest thing I've ever seen." Trent grinned, causing Ray and Henry's mouths to drop open. Okay, (y/n) wasn't particularly thrilled by it herself but they took it much more seriously. For them, it was like a betrayal seeing how these two idiots were being praised for taking down one criminal who hadn't even done anything—and they'd dealt with Jeff hundreds of times.
"Whaaaaat?" "Bravest?!" They gasped, staring at the monitor in disbelief because all they'd seen was a mad scramble to rest an idiot, hardly the stuff of legends. They'd nearly been eaten by a bear, that was heroic and deserved praise and yet they weren't getting any, all because of these two.
"I have done braver things on the toilet!" "Yeah, that is a bit ridicul—oh my god, Ray, what?" (y/n)'s nose scrunched up at how disgustingly dramatic her lover was being, which earned her a sharp shushing from Charlotte. The girl was still trying to listen and whatever troubles they were having comprehending being replaced was interrupting that. 
"Kimberly, are you with the heroes right now?" Trent pressed further, sending the boys into a cold silence as they begrudgingly started to listen again. Did they have to call them that? So what? They did one rescue and now everyone was fanning over them, had everyone lost their minds? Captain Man and Kid Danger, were the brave ones...and Miss Danger too, of course.
"I sure am, Trent," The reporter grinned as the camera cut back to her, revealing to the heroes' disdain that she was now with their newfound enemies, "And once again, it looks like our city of Swellview owes a big thank you to The Thumb Buddies!"
"You're very welcome." "We appreciate that, yes." They weren't anything spectacular to behold. To (y/n) (and secretly Ray and Henry), they just looked like two guys in costumes, which was technically what they were too. They seemed a bit dorky, a bit starstruck by the cameras and attention suddenly thrust upon them but apart from that, they seemed very polite and respectful, maybe even humble for the praise the news lavished on them. It was so damn aggravating.
"Okay, who are these Thumb Buddies? Where did they come from?" Ray asked darkly, needing more than a hug from his sweet girl to let this one go. He needed answers because, despite the report being muted, he could still feel the rage burning through him. This was his city, he'd been protecting it for years and now that there were two newbies on the scene, he'd lost the loyalty of his fans, and everyone knows how Captain Man thrives on the attention—simply doing it as a good deed was okay but doing it to be loved was better.
"Yeah, and why are they in our town, doing our job?" Henry asked too, his lips pursed into a thin, firm line. In his years as a sidekick, he'd grown used to the praise too, after all, he never got any as Henry Hart, being praised as Kid Danger was all he had left to fill that need to be loved. If they were the heroes now, where would that leave them? The professionals, the dependable ones, the ones who knew what they were doing?
"Well, technically, they're making our job easier." (y/n) pointed out, which caused Ray to whip around to face her with a murderous look, almost like she'd prodded her finger in a sore wound. It was a betrayal, how dare she side with the enemy, even if she did make a valid point. His sweet girl, did she like these Thumb Buddies too?
"Whose side are you on?!" He asked her furiously, but the woman didn't flinch under his intense gaze or bat an eyelid when his face got close to hers. If anything, her heart rate increased for a different reason entirely, not that she'd ever let him know that since he was being his ridiculous, doofy self right now. She'd only make a move on the adorable doofus when he was being reasonable, not irrational.
"Oh, we're picking sides now?" She smirked, raising her eyebrows in a way that said she wasn't taking him seriously, more like finding his fury amusing, "You know I'm with you, doofus, calm down.
"...Charlotte, I told you last week that I wanted a full report on these guys. Now, where is it?" Ray switched targets after taking a split second to calm down. Right, his girl would never side with two guys she'd never met and had no plans on joining, which was crazy when he snapped back into the moment and realised just how close her smirking lips were to his. So, he quickly redirected his anger onto someone else, namely Charlotte since he'd given her a task to complete after the incident last week.
"I sent you an email, last week." The teen stated dryly, giving him one of her dead-eyed stares because he was accusing her of slacking off. She was Charlotte, the reliable one, if her boss needed something she'd do it and she wasn't gonna be held responsible if he was too busy getting it on with his girl to realise that his order had been delivered.
"You know I don't read my emails unless you send me a text telling me to read my emails," Ray replied petulantly, trying to not seem like the idiot in this situation. (y/n) knew that all too well, he was so...forgetful, so distracted by things he deemed more important than a boring, old email, so he needed several reminders since he was usually busy eating, showering, napping, training, playing games or loving up her to notice.
"I also sent you a text," Charlotte stated, which was grinding for the man to hear, so much that he couldn't help but growl and reach out with grabbing hands, only for Henry to shove (y/n) into them instead. He could hold onto her for a bit, she could help him calm down a bit because God knows that he needed it and she craved it and it came with the bonus that Ray wouldn't kill Charlotte for his mistake.
"All right, all right, just...hug (y/n), there you go...will you just tell us who these Thumb Buddies are?" The boy then turned to his friend, who didn't know how to tell them that there wasn't much to tell. She'd trawled through every newspaper, every magazine, every gossip column, social media accounts, private records and public information to work out just who they were dealing with. Dorks. Normal, kooky dorks with nothing exciting and nothing to fear, hardly worth getting so upset over because they were people. Merely people.
"They're just...they're just guys. Regular guys, who started fighting crime." She said slowly, trying to phrase it gently, but just how gentle could she be when telling them that there was no dirt to sell to the press or legitimate reason for the city to be fawning over them?
"Then, why is everyone making such a big deal about them?" Ray asked in a distraught tone as his fingers danced up and down his sweet girl's satin-covered spine. It soothed him, feeling the curves and contours of her body, which he practically had memorised at this point, and feeling her forehead rested against his shoulder calmed him even more. He couldn't get mad when he had to stay still and give her affection.
"Well, they're new and they seem nice." Well, he could when Jasper was the one stating facts. God, he said it in such a plain, obvious way and it aggravated everything, making Ray see red. His hands seized (y/n)'s hips and squeezed and he couldn't help but shout, though he did take care to not shout directly into her ear.
"We're very nice!"
"Yeah, we're delightful, Jasper!" Even Henry couldn't help but snap too because he felt the same; they had everything the Thumb Buddies had and more, it was just because he lived in a throw-away society that it wasn't good enough. He'd finally reached the point where he was no longer new and exciting, the same with (y/n) and she'd been the latest to join. They were nothing new, so that meant they weren't wanted anymore...how depressing.
"Jeez, stop shouting, doofus. I think you're overreacting to this." (y/n) grumbled when her moment of peace was shattered because of her stupidly loud fiancé. She'd been enjoying that, had liked just breathing him in for a moment with just his hands on her back and his cologne in her nose, it was intimate yet softly so, just enough to satisfy the unending need to have him close. That is until they got upset again and she accidentally poured petrol on the bonfire.
"Overreacting?! We're overreacting? This is underreacting!"
"Overreacting? Oh-ho-ho, this--this is subtle!" The boys hissed, once again feeling betrayed by her cool response to the news that these new heroes were the greatest thing since sliced bread. That gained them an eye roll because with how many good times they shared, it was easy to forget how childish and proud Ray could be and how that had rubbed off on his most impressionable sidekick. She adored him, both of them, but god, could they be any more annoying?
"Hey! Look how popular those guys are," Jasper suddenly drew their attention back to the news and once it was unmuted, Ray and Henry found themselves with more cause for clenching their jaws.
In the time they had been "underreacting", tons of fans had seen the Thumb Buddies on the news and had gathered in the grungy Nacho Ball, almost to the point where no one else could fit into the restaurant. Each one was waving bits of nacho sacks for autographs or PearPhones for selfies, shouting and proclaiming their newfound love just as they used to do for Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger. All that just for them?
"And as you can see, it looks like everyone wants their tacos signed by the Thumb Buddies. Back to you, Trent."
"And Mary!"
"Looks like the Thumb Buddies are gonna be autographing tacos for quite a while, so if you're in the area of Nacho Ball, you might wanna head on over there and meet them." The report finished with the shining smiles of Trent and Mary and the dark frowns of Henry and Ray, who'd grown more and more livid with each swirl of the pens held by the Thumb Buddies. When was the last time they'd been swamped by fans wanting an autograph? Right, before these clowns turned up with their stupid kneepads and orange jackets.
"Are they--are they kidding me?! Not even a mention of the thing we did at the baseball game?" Ray whined as he plonked himself onto the back of the couch with a sour pout on his face. That prompted (y/n) to wander over with a sympathetic expression written on hers. He might have been annoying her but that didn't mean she didn't understand what he was feeling and looking so sad she couldn't help but intervene.
"Just let it go, sweetheart. We don't need a party for every mission we complete." The woman told him gently, standing in between his legs and stroking her hands over his scratchy cheeks that would be due a shave in a couple of days. The praise was nice but by no means necessary, just knowing that they'd do the right thing should've been enough.
"But sweet girl, I--"
"Wait, wait, wait, stop kissing, shhh!" Henry suddenly shushed their little pep talk when the next story flashed up on the monitor and it was like the producers could hear their prayers. Okay, his assumption that they'd sloped off to the back to makeout was misplaced and a bit annoying but Ray didn't care, not when he saw that the city's baseball match was up next. 
"Didn't even get one kiss, let alone kissing..." (y/n) muttered under her breath as Ray scrambled to stand next to Henry. She'd been building up to that and had been hoping for some adoration from the man since they'd been talking about these Thumb Buddies for far too long. Couldn't they just change out of their uniforms and watch a movie or two? Laze the rest of the afternoon away?
"And now, some news about today's baseball game. The Swellview Sailors lost seven to three..." Trent reported the score and left an awkward gap, which made everyone hang on to his every word for that crucial addition, "Captain Man and sidekicks save the day". However, he said nothing and didn't even crack a smile as his viewers waited for an explanation or development that never came, much to the heartbreak of the boys. "That's it."
"All right, that does it! We're going down to Nacho Ball and we're gonna tell those rotten thumb buddies that Swellview is our town!"
"Our town!" Ray and Henry growled because Trent's failure to mention their heroism for the day meant one thing. All-out war. If these Thumb Buddies wanted to take over their turf then they were just gonna have to fight them for it and they'd see who was the best when they had a proton blaster being waved in their faces. 
"Who needs the Thumb Buddies?"
"Nobody!" It was safe to say that they were ranting and blinded by the red haze of frustration from being ranked second place behind two bozos from nowhere. Were they gonna march into a Nacho Ball and cause a scene because they were jealous? Hell yeah.
"Nobody I know!"
"Exactly!"
"I fought a bear!" Ray exclaimed as they marched off towards the tubes again. It didn't matter that they were tired from an eventful mission, it didn't matter that (y/n) groaned and looked up to the ceiling with a silent plea for some invisible for to make them see sense but it wasn't happening. It was either stay in the Man Cave and hear all about how Captain Man and Kid Danger made fools out of themselves or she bit the bullet and went with them to try and avert disaster. Why did she love this job again?
"Are you gonna go with them?" Charlotte asked her with the same bored tone and the dry look she'd been wearing all afternoon, ever since this problem fell into her lap. In some ways, she admired the woman for being so loyal since not many people would still work after being led into reckless decisions so many times but then again, there was being loyal and then there was being dumb. Which one was (y/n)? Love made her do dumb things for all the right reasons.
"Yeah, someone needs to care since they don't." The heroine sighed tiredly and trudged along behind them, mentally preparing her camera face again since she'd end up in the papers one way or another. It would be something ridiculous like "Miss Danger spotted with Thumb Buddy, has she moved on?" or "Have Miss Danger and Captain Man called it quits?". Stupid, irrelevant headlines that were always far from the truth.
"If I come with you, do you promise to watch that new rom-com with me? The one with Tom Hiddleston in it?" (y/n) asked her doofus as she ascended the steps and wrapped her arms around his neck, ready to go up the tube. 
That was a toughie; on one hand, he loved sitting down to watch a rom-com with her since they were boring but the perfect opportunity to just...admire her. But on the other hand, he'd have to admire her as she admired Tim Hiddlestick or whatever he was called with his stupid suave accent and perfect face. A celebrity crush was a celebrity crush, hardly anything substantial but still. Did he have to see her drool over someone who wasn't him?
"...Fine. Just because I love you." Ray conceded, deciding to indulge his darling girl since she was so graciously following him on a personal mission to bitch and moan at two men he'd never met. Precious girl, keeping him from sinking into self-ruin, he could survive one movie for her, after all, Theo Piddleson wasn't the one who was gonna be waiting for her at the end of the aisle.
"Thanks, doofus. I lo--"
"W-w-wait--wait! Since you guys are going to Nacho Ball, can you pick me up a three-ball nacho sack?" Jasper butted in, thinking with his stomach and not his head--a grave error to make. (y/n) didn't think anything of it, to be fair, she'd probably pick up a snack once they were done berating the Thumb Buddies, but Ray took it much more seriously. He was enjoying a moment with his fiancée, she was about to say those three words that he'd never thought he'd have the privilege of hearing and he'd cut her off. Not cool, man.
"No, we're not gonna pick you up a three---what are you wearing?" Ray stammered and took a double-take when he finally saw what the boy was wearing. This was his gravest error. It was obvious now he was looking at him properly and with those faces smiling up at him, it was impossible not to notice. The lettering, the photo, and him interrupting the moment were infuriating and all of a sudden, he was breaking away from (y/n) to pick another fight.
"What do you mean?" Jasper's hands moved to cover his chest as if he'd been burnt, quick and reflexive. Charlotte couldn't help but grin; her warning had not been heeded and now, he was about to face the consequences for thinking he knew everything. 
"Move your hands," Ray ordered him. He didn't want to sound too harsh, deep down he knew that Jasper was still a kid and he wasn't about to yell, not when his sweet girl and other employees were in earshot but damn it, he knew what he'd seen. Jasper could move his hands over the pattern as much as he wanted, but he could still see those eyes peeking out.
"Jasper, just move your hands away from your shirt,"
"Yeah, you're not in any trouble," (y/n) agreed with Henry after Ray turned to them for help. It was no secret that the kid wasn't slightly afraid of them like he was with Ray, so they'd be able to get through to him hopefully, but those were famous last words that the woman couldn't guarantee. With her, he wasn't in any trouble at all but with Ray, that was a different matter because he'd labelled those men as enemies and he was supporting them, even if he didn't see it that way.
So, slowly, very, very slowly, Jasper parted his fingers, revealing his Thumb Buddies shirt in all of its glory, much to his terror and Ray's disappointment. Someone get (y/n) on hand, he preferred to have his head on his shoulders, not rolling along the floor...
"Wow..."
"Calm down, calm down, it's fine, just look at me, doofus..." (y/n) moved like lightning as she watched Ray's eyes darken. Henry was gonna let her do most of the work since she was the expert at taming Ray but he still offered a hand on his boss' shoulder as another force guiding him back to the tubes. If they could just get him out of the Man Cave, he'd probably forget about this and Jasper would live to make another mistake, another day.
"It's fine..."
"We're all good, just come with me."
"It's totally fine..."
"You good?"
"I'mma just walk away..." So far, so good. Ray melted into his girl's touch like her soft words were working and with Henry helping out, for a moment, the sidekicks thought that they were gonna get away with this one. The man seemed calm and suspiciously reasonable for a guy famed for having a ridiculously short temper and childish personality, almost too suspiciously as if it was all too good to be true.
And it was. Ray just couldn't take it, he couldn't have those sorry excuses for superheroes being showcased in his secret hideout and in a moment of madness, he went berserk. No thought, no beforehand, no thinking things through, he just grabbed a spare blaster from a rogue and began firing to the beat of his frustrated grunts and groans. So much for having a magic touch, Henry and (y/n) were instantly wrangling to get him under control rather than treating him with the utmost care.
"Raymond, put it down, you moron!" (y/n) screeched as Jasper hit the deck and Charlotte hastily opened an umbrella. Oh yeah, that was gonna keep her nice and safe. Jasper was in a similar position, although he at least had the sense to clumsily scramble for cover as (y/n) did her best to get her rogue lover under control, mainly by jumping on his back and trying to steer his fire away from the boy. It was a damn good job that Ray was a shit shot with an even shittier aim because otherwise, Jasper would be a goner as her weight was doing nothing to make those muscles move.
"Ray!"
"Raymond Manchester, I swear to god, if you don't stop trying to kill one of our employees, you'll be walking down the aisle by yourself!" The woman played her trump card by shouting the warning into his ear and as the threat wormed its way through the labyrinth of Ray's brain, his lasers slowly tapered off. 
Alone? On his wedding day? No sweet girl? No Mrs Manchester? Well, he'd wrap Jasper up in cotton wool, beg on his knees for the rest of his life and worship that boy if it made her happy and prevented that terrible possibility from becoming true. 
That gave Jasper enough time to wriggle through one of the holes in the sprocket and hide behind the thick metal as Ray lowered his weapon and Charlotte closed her umbrella. Right, in future, they'd be using the no wedding warning to get him to cease because Jesus, he could've hurt someone.
"Dude! That was dangerous! What if you hit him?" Henry asked sternly as (y/n) frowned and folded her arms. What had he been thinking? She'd never cancel the wedding, not unless something heartbreakingly catastrophic happened, but it had been enough to shock him into stopping, not that Ray shared their worry about hurting Jasper. The only thing he cared about was giving his best puppy dog eyes to his fiancée. Yeah, she'd be needing a bit more than that.
"Oh, it was set to a light stun!...ooh! Wait...yikes!" Ray brushed their worries away because he'd assumed that the weapon was just zapping lightly and Jasper, had he been hit, would have been fine...or not. To his and (y/n)'s and Henry's horror, the blaster had actually been programmed to burn and sear flesh, a setting reserved for their greatest and most hated enemies, not for the kid they were all so fond of.
"Raymond. Get your ass up those stairs before I kick it from here to Nacho Bell." (y/n) glowered at her dumb doofus and he ashamedly shuffled up to the tubes with eyes meeting the ground. He hated how angry she was and how she gave him the cold shoulder as they were packed into a single tube, his arms being the only thing keeping them pressed together because right now, she could barely look at him.
It stung and as the seconds passed, he found himself growing more and more embarrassed by his outburst as they whooshed off without Jasper left behind to lick his wounds. She'd forgive him in a bit but in the meantime? Ray Manchester was firmly on the naughty step.
~Nacho Ball~
Well, this was homey. As shown on the news, Nacho Ball was packed full of people and whether they had gone there for the food or not was irrelevant. The only thing that mattered to Ray and Henry was that everyone and they meant everyone, was collecting their order and then pandering to the Thumb Buddies like over-excited children--which most of them were.
Everyone boy, girl man, woman and toddler giggled and blushed as they approached the small table that the staff had set up for the men so they could hand out free t-shirts, selfies and sign tacos, and for the boys, it was enraging, perhaps even humiliating. There was a time when people used to do that for them, they'd queue around the block just to get a glimpse of their red and blue uniform but now? They were old news, pushed aside for the newest toys in the toybox.
And that wasn't the worst bit.
"Hey, isn't that your obnoxious little sister in there with the Thumb Buddies?" Ray asked as the trio peered through the glass door and assessed the situation, which was when they saw the biggest betrayal of all. There was Piper, fawning over the Thumb Buddies as they gave her a free shirt and signed everything she pushed in front of them. What the hell? She was supposed to love them and be their biggest fan, but that was not what they were seeing. Traitor.
"Yeah...what is she doing?" Henry breathed out as he watched his sister take an obnoxiously happy selfie with their rivals, something which made their skin bristle. Well, his and Ray's skin, (y/n) wasn't particularly bothered, not when she could smell that greasy, not-good-for-you-at-all goodness just waiting for her to buy. They hadn't had lunch yet, couldn't they forget about these guys and just move on, much like she was trying to do about the whole Ray-Jasper blaster incident? Was that too much to ask?
"Uh, I thought she was supposed to be the president of the Captain Man fan club," The hero stated bitterly as he stared at the alarmingly pink shirt that Piper had thrown over her cute outfit and how it proclaimed all her love for those idiots. He, out of the kindness of his heart and perhaps just a little bit of simping for his then-best friend, had made her president of the Man Fans all those years ago and this was how she repaid him? Et Tu, Piper?
"Yeah, she is, but you can like two things, doo--oh, sweet cheese, here she comes..." (y/n) muttered before trailing off as the girl abruptly turned around and headed for the door, straight for the ensnaring superheroes. Oh dear, (y/n) would hold them back as much as she could but even with her best, this was gonna be excruciating.
"Hello." Yep, it was excruciating and they'd only said one word. Before the heroine could tell them that confrontation was a bad idea, y'know, caring so they didn't have to again even though she had every right in the world to just leave them to it, they marched into the restaurant and that was where the awkwardness began. 
Ray stood with his hip jutted out at an angle and even lanky Henry cut an imposing figure as he towered over his shocked sister with a sour expression on his face. There was nowhere for the girl to go and when she looked at Miss Danger for an explanation, all she got was a wince because they were in too deep now to go back, like they were a jealous girlfriend confronting her boyfriend for being with someone else. This shit was getting weird.
"Yeah, hi, Pi---Hello, little girl," Henry added, switching his voice at the last minute when he realised that Kid Danger did not know Piper Hart on a personal level, no matter how many times they'd interacted.
"Ah, jeez..."
"Uhhh, h--hey, Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger. I, uh, didn't expect to see you guys here," Piper stammered awkwardly as her palms grew clammy around her tray of food. It truly was like she'd been caught out, stuck between her new lover and her old one, especially when the boys pettily folded their arms like she was in the wrong. God, (y/n) felt first-hand embarrassment, second-hand embarrassment, third-hand embarrassment, fourth-hand...and so on.
"Yeah, we bet you didn't."
"Yeah, we bet you didn't." Ray and Henry spat, giving a pretty good impression of Regina George as they stood there like a couple of mean girls, bored yet spiteful looks on their faces and for what? Piper hadn't done anything wrong, who said she was switching sides?
"Yeah, well, I--I..."
"Nice t-shirt."
"Yeah, with the Thumb Buddies on it," Ray flicked his fingers towards the hot pink material Piper was wearing, specifically the spot on her chest that had that stupid smiley pic of them together. He could feel his sweet girl glaring daggers into the side of his head and the way she was growing more and more restless by the scene they were causing but he wasn't done yet. Oh, he had a lot more to say, no matter how much his heart was tugging his brain towards the door and the idea of going home, where he could make all of his wrongs right.
"Oh, come on, this is just a t-shirt. It's not like I'm their number one fan!" Piper chuckled nervously and tried to play down the reasons why she'd put the shirt on in the first place. It wasn't a big deal, just a freebie she'd been given by two new celebrities, hardly the legends that were Captain Man and his sidekicks. Of course, she still loved them, but that's not what they were hearing.
"Oh, really? Then explain this!" Ray snapped and pushed the girl to turn around so they could see the back of her t-shirt, which had the icing to go on the traitorous cake. In big, white, stupid lettering, Piper's back read "thumber 1 fan" and as if the pun wasn't bad enough, the meaning behind the words was just another knife in their hearts. She could lie to them all she wanted but they knew the truth; the cold, heartbreaking truth.
"Thumber one fan?"
"Jeez, man..." She made them sick, and if (y/n) was just a little bit braver, she might've mocked them for that. She could tell them that all kids make mistakes but on second thought, she wasn't even sure that Piper had. So she was wearing a shirt with a dumb pun on it that promoted other heroes, so what? 
"Don't you think you're overreacting now, Captain Man?" The woman hissed to the man, slightly turning her back on Piper so she would struggle to hear her. The last thing she wanted was for Piper's view of her fiancée to dip, he deserved to be loved for his bravery, just not his partial stupidity, which was working against her right now. Piper didn't hear her, thank god, but neither did Ray, not when he didn't want to listen.
"Okay, look, I know this was wrong, I just really wanted to meet them, and have them sign a taco and take a selfie but it was just this one time, I swear! It didn't mean anything!" Piper begged them desperately, and alarmingly, she was starting to cross into the "yeah, I cheated but it didn't mean anything" territory of being caught red-handed. Things were starting to echo a really bad teen breakup movie and the boys weren't helping, not even caring when (y/n) tiredly pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. She gave up staying at home for this shit...
"You know what? Just forget it."
"Yeah, we have something to do, so..." And here came the awkward confrontation of meeting "the new guy", or in this case, the Thumb Buddies. They'd had a go at the cheater and now it was time to slag off the one who dared to take their place, which made (y/n) groan loudly and unapologetically as she stomped after them, and Piper watching on forlorn.
"Hey, what's up? How's it going?"
"All right, okay..."
"Hi, yeah, sorry--ooh, nice shirt, where'd you get that?... Yeah, just following my idiot of a fia--boyfriend...hey..." Of course, slagging off "the new guy" had to come with a little showing off too, just to show them who they were messing with and the cheater who they'd given up in the process. 
The room's reaction was instantaneous; once Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger made themselves apparent in the middle of the restaurant, people began to switch sides. What the Thumb Buddies had previously had was given to them, the adoration, the excited squeals, the constant hellos and how are yous, the phones that were suddenly shoved in their faces because holy shit, it was Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger! Cue the fangirling/boying. 
Piper stomped off humiliated and (y/n) made a mental note to make it up to her later as she graciously smiled at everyone who greeted her, from the cutest kids with their colour-in menus to the cocky high school seniors who thought they had a chance at taking her on a date. 
Hell, on second glance, even the Thumb Buddies seemed to be stunned and hyperventilating from their presence, which was a huge ego boost for Henry and Ray as they preened under all of the attention that had found its way back to the right people. This was more like it.
"MARRY ME, MISS DANGER!" A churlish voice came from the back, probably from the table of football players in the corner, who thought they were so clever with their cheap cologne and playground popularity. Okay, Ray loved the attention but not when it reached this point, not when the odd idiot around the room failed to read the signs that those shoes were already filled, never to be empty again if everything went smoothly. 
So, much to the squeals, jealousy and thrill of the others in the Nacho Ball, he slung an arm around (y/n)'s waist and pulled her close to his chest to show those morons, wherever they were in the sea of people, that this little fling of theirs as the magazines called it, that he was already set to have her as his wife. (y/n) blushed and shyly rested her palm on his chest as she ignored the camera flashes, acutely aware that this was gonna be posted online in a few hours, and the last thing she needed was to be scrutinised for all the wrong reasons.
They'd been so careful with what they'd fed to the press. Sure, there had been speculation on just what stage their relationship was at but there had been no official, definitive announcement for the world to savage, pull apart and sulk about. No hearts had been too broken because for most, they were still boyfriend and girlfriend. That wasn't serious, it couldn't be, please, tell them that Captain Man hadn't settled down and please, tell them that Miss Danger hadn't settled for less than she deserved. Still, no time like the present and some provoking to shove things in the right direction. 
"All right, everybody out! Right now! Customers, employees and the gunches who keep asking my fiancée to marry them, we have official business with the Thumb Buddies, so goodbye!" Ray gave no fucks. 
Without a second thought, he and Henry grabbed the portable tannoy system from their belts, which were rarely used, and ushered the crowd from the restaurant, although they weren't as obstructive and annoyed as you might think. No, they were far too preoccupied with Captain Man's very public announcement that he and Miss Danger were...engaged? 
Someone call KLVY because sweet cheese, this was huge! Some were shocked, some were whispering excitedly with their friends, some were disappointed and one girl was straight-up crying. Guess she had quite the crush on one of the heroes that had now been obliterated.
"That's right, one foot in front of the other! You can walk and murmur about what I just said at the same time! You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here..." The man was shameless and having Henry back him up wasn't helping as the trembling Thumb Buddies rose from their seats and (y/n) stood frozen like a statue. Had he just told a room full of people that they were getting married or was she just crazy? It was gonna happen at one point but jeez, she wasn't expecting that...
"You okay, sweet girl?" A soft voice suddenly sounded and she snapped out of her daydream to see that Ray was back by her side after shoving the last person through the doors. For such a huge guy, he sure could be silent when he wanted to be and despite his bumbling size, he was never rough, not with her. Well, not unless she wanted him to be, but right now, she wasn't talking to moron Ray, she was speaking to darling Ray, the one who'd gotten down on one knee and given her a ring with the sweetest words she'd ever heard.
"Yeah...you do know you just told everyone we're engaged, right? The whole world will know now..." (y/n) whispered to him as one hand settled in her lower back and the other picked up her left hand, one finger stroking over the place where her engagement ring would be if she wasn't in uniform. 
It was...new, maybe a bit overwhelming but still a good feeling to know that everyone else was caught with them, which meant no more lies and rumours about how they secretly hated each other and everything was for show. This was nice, impromptu, but nice.
"Let them know. I want the whole world to see how much I love you," Ray whispered after tenderly kissing her cheek, his lips moving across to ghost past her ear. It tickled, made her blush and caused a grin to spread on her face at the sentiment; she would've thought he'd be shy and reluctant to let everyone know his business since professions of love weren't gonna bolster his tough-guy reputation, but this was the opposite. Newsflash: Captain Man's soft spot revealed.
"Is that...okay with you?" This man. This fucking man, could he be any more perfect? Sure, it was too late to go back on his words but still, her comfort came above everything for him and unlike most, he never missed a chance to make sure everything was okay between them.
"More than okay. It's perfect, doofus...I love you," (y/n) replied gently, unable to stop herself from saying the words she'd been denied earlier because this was just a micro-step in them getting closer and closer to the big day. Everything was still in the infancy stage with very little planned apart from a rough idea of who was going to be there and doing what yet they were getting there, very slowly but very surely. 
Now, Henry was a patient boy, especially when it came to these two. He could take the kissing, the random breaks they seemed to take to say some mushy stuff and even their borderline obsessive behaviour when it came to needing physical affection every five seconds, but he had his limits. Okay, one smooch and that was him done; this was a Nacho Ball, for god's sake, hardly the time or place and the Thumb Buddies were getting restless. Time to intervene.
"Uh, Captain Man? Miss Danger?" He cleared his throat as the kiss lingered on and on and on. Maybe he was a killjoy but when they had interrogations to do about who these idiots were and where they had come from, he had to draw the line somewhere, especially when he'd allowed the moment to stretch on for as long as he had.
"Ugh, fine, you can have him back..." (y/n) pouted as she relinquished her hold on her doofus and accepted that he couldn't be soft and squishy forever. Out here in the world, he wasn't Ray Manchester, he was Captain Man and she was Miss Danger, with nothing to shield them if they revealed who they truly were. He'd go back to being an ass and she'd have to wait until they were back home to see the real him again.
"Now..."
"You two..." And just like that, they were back to it like nothing had happened in between. The boys descended into intimidation again and (y/n) prepared herself for awkwardness by folding her arms and acting as uninterested as humanly possible. What was though, was how excited the Thumb Buddies looked. To most people, Ray and Henry would look pretty terrifying right now but all they could muster was a constipated look of delight. Maybe it was nerves?
"We don't know where you came from..."
"We don't wanna know..." Still, no change in their expressions, even as they edge closer. Could it be possible that the Thumb Buddies weren't the dastardly villains that Ray and Henry had painted them out to be? (y/n) couldn't say for certain, but they looked so happy, perhaps a little too happy...
"But I'm gonna tell you something right now...okay, why are you smiling at us like that?" Ray asked as their grins unnerved him. It was kinda difficult to act all mean and serious when they weren't flinching or shaking, this was the opposite of what he had been expecting. Why weren't they scared? Why weren't they begging for forgiveness? Come on, he was supposed to be giving them what for.
"Joey...I--I--I think I'm gonna faint..." The smallest of the men stuttered to his friend as his wide eyes stayed on the three heroes, his hands grabbing onto the taller man's arm as if he needed to steady himself. Jeez, were they that imposing? (y/n) had always seen herself as quite friendly and approachable, but when she gave them a reassuring smile, his eye did a funny twitching thing. 
"Just--just hold onto me."
"I'm gonna faint!"
"Just live in the moment, okay? Just breathe and live this moment," The tallest of the two, Joey apparently, encouraged his friend, who began to take deep, calming breaths that seemed to settle his nerves. Joey was hyper too but he hid it much better than his friend with the moustache, who, despite his breathing, still needed to hold his arm for support as Captain Man swapped some confused looks with his sidekicks.
"Okay...OH, GOD, WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"
"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS REAL LIFE!" All of their attempts to stay calm were in vain because the moment they let down their guards, it all came pouring out. It was slightly alarming to be shouted at about how much they were loved, so (y/n)'s hand sought out Ray's as her calming measure, but they were used to it. Screeching fans were an occupational hazard for them and these guys were no different, even if this was a complete three-sixty on what they had been expecting; "the new guy" was chill? Go figure.
"Okay, what is going on?" Henry demanded as he watched two normal if slightly oafish men fanboy over him, his boss and his boss's fiancée. Had he missed something? He'd expected this confrontation to be dramatic and angsty, not dorky and amicable because they were supposed to be the replacement and they were supposed to be the jilted exes...or something to that metaphoric effect.
"I think they're a lot nicer than you originally thought," (y/n) murmured without taking her eyes off of the men. Ray's hand squeezed hers and it was enough to not get nervous but the confusion was still there; Charlotte had been right, these two were nothing special, just two dorks in strange costumes who decided to be vigilantes. Oh, how she hated to say I told you so...
"It's just...the only reason we ever decided to be crimefighters--"
"--Is 'cause we want to be exactly like you three!"
"We humble ourselves before you..." Ray, Henry and (y/n) were speechless as the THumb Buddies revealed their almost devout love and loyalty for them but also knelt to the ground and bowed their heads as if they were in the presence of royalty.
Okay, perhaps it was a bit extra, demeaning to them, and embarrassing for the trio to be revered as superiors but it was also kind of flattering, and definitely a slap in the face for Henry and Ray. You could say that they hadn't just got the wrong end of the stick, they'd chosen a completely different stick entirely, one that was far from the truth.
"These guys are all right."
"Yeah, I'm starting to like these guys..." And just like that, Henry and Ray's opinions were turned on their heads, much to the frustration of (y/n). They changed theories as quickly as they had formed them and only when they were faced with irrefutable evidence, not someone else's wisdom. Her wisdom, they'd ignored it and now, they looked like idiots. Jealous, moronic idiots.
"You could've just listened to me, but nooooo. Miss Danger just likes to listen to herself say smart stuff, she doesn't want anyone to actually follow it." The woman growled sarcastically and slapped them both upside the head for pissing her off. One of these days, they'd listened to her when she said something to save them from trouble and then, they wouldn't end up in tricky situations. Y'know, like having two men kneeling before them.
"Sorry, sweet girl--I mean, uh, fellas, you may rise before us." Ray stammered a quick apology to his precious girl before grabbing his microphone and addressing the Thumb Buddies like he was their king and they were pitiful peasants. He was loving this; as much as he'd. hanged his mind to see them as equals, not enemies, he refused to let them know that because he was the experienced, dog-eared hero who'd saved the city from peril for twenty years or more. They were just starting out and as such, needed to show him some respect.
"Look, guys. Y'know, the whole superhero thing, it's sort of my--oh..."
"Emergency..." (y/n) muttered as Ray was interrupted by the quiet beeping of his phone. An emergency call was being put through and it wasn't like he could ignore it, even if he was about to tell the Thumb Buddies that Swellview was his city, no matter how much they helped or won the hearts of its people.
"They're getting a real emergency call!"
"I know, I know! Shhhh! Shhhh! Shhhhhhhhh!" The smaller man shushed Joey as he freaked out. So far, all they'd managed to pull off was stopping petty thieves and scavenging the leftovers of Captain Man's fights, so they'd not properly sunk their teeth into a meaty crime yet. Therefore, the notion of a genuine emergency, one fit for only the best, was cause for them to get giddy again.
"I should probably take this. If you'll excuse me..." Ray inclined his head towards the vigilantes politely and sloped off to the side to answer the call as the Thumb Buddies spluttered every respectful phrase they knew. To be honest, Ray could kick their dog and spit on their grandmothers and they'd probably say thank you, that was just how much they loved him. (y/n) and Henry, however, had no idea what to say, their boss normally led the talking for them.
"Where are you going?"
"We don't know these--we don't know what to say! Don't you dare walk out--oh, god." The sidekicks spluttered as Ray walked out the door with just a loving look over his shoulder at his sweet girl and nothing more. Oh, that was chivalrous, leaving them in it. Now, it was gonna be awkward and the pair prayed for a conversation point to make itself known as they slowly turned around to face the Thumb Buddies again.
"So..." Good start from Henry, certainly better than whatever (y/n) had planned as their watery smiles paled in comparison to their enormous grins, "The Thumb Buddies. Cool name."
"Nah. It's stupid..." Joey said bashfully, making (y/n) smile softly at how friendly they seemed. They weren't the brightest pair she'd ever met and they definitely had a childish streak in their personalities but it kinda reminded her of Ray and the playfulness that endeared him to her. They were dorks but she was famous for liking those, doofuses specifically, so hearing them be so hard on themselves strangely struck a nerve.
"Don't be so hard on yourselves, it's cute. How did you come up with it?" She asked with as much interest as she could muster in her voice.
"Well, Mark and I used to be dance instructors," Joey started. He and the smaller, moustache man, now known as Mark, began to lazily demonstrate one of their old routines, making Henry's smile falter from the awkwardness and (y/n)'s grow from how...endearingly quaint they were. What was it with her and dorks? She didn't fancy them or anything, far from it, she'd already found her perfect doofus for that, but they were so nerdy and weird she couldn't help but relax. 
"We taught the elderly to dance," And with an explanation like that, she was sold. She liked these guys, they were the kind of people she would've hung out with in college. Misfits and weirdos.
"But we never really felt fulfilled, y'know?"
"We felt like a couple of...nobodies." They went on, making Henry nervously look back at the door every five seconds as (y/n) kindly listened intently. He wanted Ray to come back now, he wouldn't tolerate a long-winded life story that made him want to tear his eyeballs from their sockets, he'd tell them straight and that'd be it. How long could one phone call take?
"But then, one night, we were having dinner with my sister and she says, you guysth!"
"'Cause she talks with a lisp!" Mark chuckled as Joey slurred his speech to be a bit more comical, enough for (y/n)'s gentle smile to twinge as they enjoyed retelling the story. Someone kill Henry now, he was having a dork overload and it was bad enough spending eighty per cent of her time with her and Ray being dorks in love.
"She does! She says, you guysth! You don't have to be nobodiesth! You can be sthomebodies!"
"And we were like, Sthombodies?!"
"Which sounded like Thumb...Buddies!"
"So now, that's who we are."
"The Thumb Buddies!...Boop!" Well, that was an adorkable story and to top it all off, they seemed to have like a strange, handshake thing which involved pressing their thumbs together and squeaking, which was...normal. Henry was getting a vibe here, a very specific vibe that came from a very specific kind of dork. 
Y'see, over these years he'd become an expert in what he called dorkology--the study of dorks, mainly because he worked for one. Ray was a dork, specifically a doofus, and on the chart of dorks, he was somewhere in between a nerd and a dweeb, possibly edging on being a sap but nowhere near being a dunce. Frankly, he was a dork but not a Thumb Buddy dork.
It all sounded very complicated but by Henry's calculations, Ray might have been a dork but he was a dork who got the ladies, very well by previous accounts. A dork who found themselves a mate in the wild was rare and it was only specific groups who could be so lucky. Many dorks found themselves unappealing to the females of the world and often, there were not nearly enough dorkettes to go around, so Ray finding his perfect bookworm dorkette match in (y/n) was a stroke of star-crossed fortune. 
The Thumb Buddies weren't so lucky though. From where he was standing, he noticed that they weren't blessed with the looks to accompany the personality so, unlike Ray, they weren't doofus, they were dimwits. Dorkette-less dimwits.
"So...I'm guessing you two aren't married." He stated after a brief second of study and placing them securely in the dimwit section of the dork chart. Judging by their amused scoffs and chuckles he was right and judging by how (y/n) knitted her eyebrows and glared at him, she didn't like that. Yeah, on the female dork chart, she was a bookworm, bordering on being a nerd, techie or weenie.
"Nah...just wait for the right girl!"
"That special someone!"
"Where is she?"
"Keep looking! If Captain Man can get someone as perfect as Miss Danger, we can too!" They laughed awkwardly as (y/n)'s cheeks flushed. Dorks couldn't go for the same dorkettes, doofuses were a higher ranking of dork so they got the prettier dorkettes, which was how a moron like Ray won the heart of (y/n), the borderline genius. The Thumb Buddies were on a lower rung, less likely to find themselves a girl since they weren't super-hot, super-cool walls of muscles like Captain Man.
"Trust me, it's worth the wait," (y/n) advised with a gentle smile as they awkwardly tittered about being loveless, much to Henry's amusement. Oh, he loved studying dorks, especially after spending a few years in the field waiting for two to finally discover that they were true dorks. A very complicated science, but rather interesting too, and speak of the dorky devil...
"Kid, sweet girl...Stainless Steve is on the loose." Ray panted as he sprinted back into the restaurant, having just gotten off the phone with Charlotte with some bad news. All of that hard work last week and for nothing because that metal bastard had evaded the useless police before he could be locked up. 
"What? Again? I thought the cops had him," (y/n) practically deflated when she heard the news, although she perked back up again when his arm curled around her back and rested his hand just above her butt. Y'know, she'd get to go home at some point, she'd get to change into some comfy pyjamas and nap at some point too, but of course, the job came first.
"They did, but he got away and now, we gotta go get him again," Ray replied tiredly, soothing her worries by rubbing his thumb against her satin-covered skin. He hated the idea of going through all that effort again but they were the guys to do it. Who else would?
"All right, okay, all right, we're sorry guys--" Henry sighed and turned to the Thumb Buddies, expecting them to understand that they had to go do some serious hero work but to his surprise, they had other ideas. This was their chance to do some proper crime-fighting, not the odd punch-up they had been doing recently.
"No! No, no, no, no, can we go with you?"
"Oh, please, let us come with you!"
"You gotta let us come with you!" Joey and Mark yelled, screamed, and begged the heroes to let them accompany them. Getting in on the action of a real Captain Man and Co fight would be a huge boost to their confidence and they'd finally get a taste of what being a superhero really meant. It was the chance of a lifetime and even if it made them seem a bit desperate, they couldn't help but run and circle the heroes to stop them from walking through the door without taking them first.
"Uh, no..."
"I don't think that's a good idea..."
"We don't usually do guided tours of crime scenes..." Their excuses came quickly as they thought about the prospect of having two inexperienced, untrained noobs following them into what could be a highly dangerous situation. What would happen if Steve was particularly vicious on his return?
Sure, the Thumb Buddies' enthusiasm and endless energy were a bit annoying, the upstaging even more so, but they couldn't let them get hurt. No, having them in the background would just leave them to make mistakes because it was just another thing to worry about.
"I'll rub your shoulders on the way!" Joey offered, which was an odd thing to put on the table. Ray's shoulders were tense, fair enough, he carried the weight of the world on them at times, but he had a very willing girlfriend to do it. (y/n) was more than happy to lavish her doofus with affection as she eased his pain. Seeing him tilt his head back and hearing him groan and praise her dextrous fingers was a dream, but admiring and having her lips on his broad shoulders and neck was bliss.
"What? No, I'm sorry, boys, but I'm the only one who rubs Cap--"
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" Or not. (y/n) snapped her head in Ray's direction when he interrupted her gentle protests with a raised hand. Okay, was he considering this? She wasn't going to but she could rub his shoulders if he wanted that, he didn't need a Thumb Buddy to help out. Consider her thoroughly confused. "You'll rub my shoulders?"
"Sure!"
"You got good hands?" Rude, much? Her hands were great, probably smaller than Joey's but still powerful. She punched people for a living, there was power in those paws. And yet, apparently, he didn't want her doing that. What was Raymond's game?
"Yeah!" Joey exclaimed and raised his hands to show Captain Man just how big they were. He could cover more ground and get at those knots. He just needed to say the word.
"All right, let's go..." There was the word. Henry and (y/n) stammered and staggered after the hero as he casually walked past the celebrating Thumb Buddies and out the door. (y/n) had to practically jog just to keep up with him as the men put on their serious faces and swaggered behind them, which left her with a minute to ask a question. Why?
"My shoulder rubs not good enough anymore, doofus?" The woman asked as she caught up enough to speedily walk beside him, although there was no malice in her tone, just a genuine curiosity as to why he'd allowed two amateur vigilantes to tag along. There had to be an ulterior motive, she just couldn't see it.
"You know I love them, sweet girl, but if you're behind me, I can't do this..." Ray smirked as he slowed down to a casual walking pace, one that was much more suited to her shorter legs and the Thumb Buddies' out-of-shape bodies. For a dork, he sure could be cryptic at times and despite her borderline genius, she couldn't always figure his riddles out, not until he put the engima into practice.
"Do what? I don't under--oh my god, Raymond, that's so good..." Her knitted eyebrows soon relaxed--all of her muscles did from their tense, confused state--when Ray dipped behind her and two huge, enormous, massive, colossal, warm hands rested on her small shoulders and began to manipulate her muscles in a way that could only be described as magical.
Seriously, he was clumsy and poorly coordinated at other stuff but with this, he was an artisan., so much that she didn't realise her slip-up as the pleasured sighs fell from her lips every time his thumbs ran across her spine.
"That's Captain Man to you, sweetheart," Ray purred into her ear as his body forced hers to keep walking, even if it was barely a crawl from how much they'd slowed down. The Thumb Buddies were enthralling Henry in another one of their fascinating stories and even though they were distracted, they were catching up, not that (y/n) could even think about going faster. It was hard enough putting one foot in front of the other as his fingers swirled across her shoulders, let alone coming up the brainpower to focus on anything else.
"Yes, Captain..." She whined breathlessly, trudging along with only him on her mind. It wouldn't last forever, eventually, his fingers would cramp up and her muscles would stop feeling so good but for now, she was gonna soak it all up. It was worth it just to feel him shiver against her when she called him by that name.
~A shady house, the backyard~
It wasn't unheard of for athletes to have their shoulders rubbed before a big match, rather, it was common amongst boxers and the like, y'know, the ones who got riled up too quickly and needed to calm down before their focus snapped. That wasn't the situation for Ray, he never got wound up enough for that to happen but one thing was for sure, his mind had never been calmer in the buildup to a fight.
Joey was right, he did have good hands and they were working magic on Ray as they approached a suspicious-looking house in a quiet neighbourhood of Swellview--a little too quiet if you asked (y/n). Much like he'd done with her, Ray was loving the shoulder rub, so much that (y/n) was happily hearing him mumble rubbish to her as he loosely held her hand and rambled. Something about prettiness, weddings and...food? That pretty much summed him up.
As they approached the backyard, things started to get creepy, so it was a good thing that at least one of them could relax. The Thumb Buddies felt fine; with Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger leading the way, they felt unbelievably protected and the sidekicks wished they could say that. Sure, they were confident in their abilities but (y/n)'s tummy was talking to her as they snuck around the old, creaking house and into the backyard, the last known location of Stainless Steve.
Of course, he couldn't have chosen the park or the rich estate to hide, no, he had to hide in the dark and in the neighbourhood where the trash collectors seemed to be on strike. There was crap scattered everywhere, ranging from an old, abandoned sofa to chip packets to an old orange cone, this place was gross, not that Ray seemed to mind that much as he sneakily checked their surroundings with Joey massaging his shoulders and (y/n) safely tucked into his side with her fists ready to swing.
"Kid, you see anything?" He questioned Henry as he walked in behind him, Mark on his tail since they'd each decided to take a Thumb Buddy into their responsibility. They'd hopefully stay safe that way but it was so dark and the bushes were so built up that it was almost impossible to catch a glimpse of shiny metal anywhere. An ambush would be so easy in a place like this...
"No, nothing. You sure Stainless Steve ran this way?" Henry asked as Joey began chopping at the man's spine, causing his ensuing groan to sound funny. They'd been walking around for ages and had seen nothing, which was starting to make him nervous.
"That's what the cop in the police helicopter said, maybe he---ahhhh. Ahhhh, this guy's hands are like magic," Ray grinned as the guy behind him kept rubbing for much longer than his sweet girl ever could. Not to be mean or anything since he'd adore her until his dying day but sometimes bigger hands were just better. They could cover more ground and go on for longer, not to mention the fact that this way, he could have a massage and look at her.
"Thank you..."
"You know, if you're not careful, he'll grab onto you and never let go. It's what happened with me." (y/n) joked as she witnessed Ray's dopey smile and Joey laughed as the hero's cheeks flushed pink. It was a fairly accurate description of how they'd ended up the way they are now; they met, they fell in love, they latched onto each other, never to let go again. It was that simple.
"Hey, hey, hey, look! Footprints...leading up to the shed," Henry suddenly interrupted, pushing all of the jokings to one side as he noticed some familiar prints etched into the dirt below their feet. Too deep to be any of theirs, kinda like the wearer had been weighed down, possibly due to the impossibly heavy metal jacket they always wore. It was him, wasn't it? Steve was in the shed and all they had to do was sneak up to it and nab him, Easy.
"Oh, hey! Do you guys think that Stainless Steve is hiding in there?" Mark asked under his breath. Ten points to the Thumb Buddies for a brilliant deduction; he might have been hiding in there, might being the keyword. Steve could be sneaky when he wanted to be, so every clue was to be taken with a pinch of salt because, in this game, there was no chance to restart if you walked into a trap.
"Yes."
"Probably..."
"Well, we don't know until we look..." The trio replied as they cautiously eyed the shed, pondering about how they were gonna go about this one but for Joey and Mark, that wasn't an option. This seemed like a simple enough mission, just going in and grabbing the villain, so what they asked next seemed like a no-brainer.
"Ooooh, let us go in there and get him!"
"Yeah! Let us do it!" They begged yet again, wanting a chance to do some real crime-fighting for once without having to stick to small operations or mere lucky finds. The last time they'd dealt with Steve, they'd just stumbled upon someone else's hard work and stolen the glory, but this time, they wanted to do things properly. If they'd let them, that is.
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no..."
"That's not a good idea, guys..."
"It's probably best to let us handle this one..." (y/n) said in line with her friends. In her experience, no mission was ever as easy as it appeared and if they allowed the Thumb Buddies to proceed and then they got hurt, well, that was on them. They were the professionals, they had the knowledge, weapons and backup ready if something went wrong. Mark and Joey didn't, not that they were listening to that reason.
"Please! If you guys will just let us do this, it'll make us feel like we really did something..."
"Like--like our lives have meaning..." Well, when they put it like that, it was nearly impossible to hold the tears in. (y/n)'s watery eyes met Ray's as she and Henry looked to him for the final say and she wondered which side was winning the war in his mind. 
She'd seen it before, hell, she used to be like that, an inconsequential nerd with nothing more than a nine-to-five life as her future when all her heart secretly longed for was an adventure. An odd longing for one so naturally nervous but she understood what they were feeling--the need to belong to something, even if that something wasn't something tangible, like morality or the belief that some things were still good and wholesome and worth fighting for.
"Captain Man?" She asked with hope in her voice, wanting to hear his judgement on the matter so they could put the men out of their misery. He was the boss, he made the call, not her, not Henry, him. What had he decided?
"Well...all right."
"Okay, you guys can get him," He caved, that was his decision. (y/n) broke out into a smile when his softer side came out to play again. Maybe he didn't need his name on this capture, perhaps letting them get a taste of what fighting the big dogs felt like, after all, he remembered what it was like being the newest hero on the scene and trying to find his big break. And seeing the proud smile on his sweet girl's face as they celebrated just sealed the deal; yeah, he'd chosen correctly.
"For real?!"
"Seriously?!" You could say that they were a bit happy at the news, possibly ecstatic. Just a bit. 
"But be careful! We don't want to have to scrape you up off the ground and into a bucket..." (y/n) quelled their excitement as Henry shushed their squeals; the last thing they needed was to give away their position because rule number one for espionage was to always try and have the element of surprise. That was their first lesson, the next lesson was not getting yourself killed before you'd even started because they didn't need the guilt on their consciences.
"Yeah, I don't want those fabulous hands getting hurt," Ray added, which made (y/n) frown at his simping as the Thumb Buddies grinned and blushed. This was it, their moment had come just as Joey's sister had said; time for the dorks to find their place in the world.
"Totally get it, totally get it!" Joey laughed it off as Mark came to face him and then, their smiles dropped into serious, stern expressions, which were completely ill-suited to their natural goofy personalities and whacky costumes. "Okay, man...this is it."
"I love you." Bit much? Bit of bromance going on? It made the heroes share a slightly confused look at how bluntly Mark said it but they understand the sentiment, it was cute. Ray loved (y/n), (y/n) loved Ray, Henry loved (y/n), (y/n) loved Henry, Henry loved Ray, and Ray loved Henry, their unit was built upon trust and a strong friendship, more in the couple's case. It was a good sign and lesson three was to always have your partner's back.
"Yeah...who are we?!" Nobody batted an eyelid at how Joey didn't reciprocate because of how weirdly touching the scene was as they entered lesson four - opening lines must always be cool and must always boost your confidence.
"THUMB BUDDIES!!! Boop!" They shouted as they mashed their thumbs together before charging into the shed with a battle cry sounding out into the night sky. Mark went in first with Joey stumbling over his heels as the wide-eyed superheroes watched on, ready to step in if they needed to but then the doors slammed shut and they assumed that they had everything under control. Until they didn't.
To their absolute horror, shock, terror, surprise and whatever, the shed wasn't a shed. Instead, it was a cleverly disguised trap, revealed when the flimsy, wooden walls fell to the ground with a slam. The trap itself was rather disturbing yet brilliant; a tiny, compact rocket with just enough room for two or three people to squeeze into it if they wanted an uncomfortable jaunt into space and through the small viewing window at the front, they could see the men's terrified faces pressing their noses against the glass. Oh god, they'd said to be careful.
Lesson five, charging in is nearly always a dumb idea. Be the tortoise, not the hare.
"Well, that's weird..." Ray stated as he blinked at the rocket. (y/n) was unable to form words as her hand slapped over her mouth at the peril the Thumb Buddies found themselves in and it didn't take a genius to work out that they were panicking. Well, they would be somebodies after this, the first idiots to not want to go to space. How had it all gone so wrong, so quickly?
"Hey!"
"What's happened?!" Joey and Mark screamed above the noise of the engines starting up, the strange hissing and gentle vibrations of the metal making them feel sick as they realised that the door had been bolted after they ran into the pod. All heroes had bad days but these guys had the worst luck in the world. Not to be a pessimist but it looked like their bad day would be their last...
"Uhhh, uhhhh, we don't know!"
"You seem to be in a rocket," Henry told them as they tried to think of something, anything to help out. They should've known it was a trap, just walking into the shed to make an arrest was too easy but they were the ones who'd wanted to save the day. Their mission, their rules, their tactics. How could they help when they were still figuring out exactly what had happened and how?
"Uh, but don't worry! Everything's gonna be--"
"Activate main engine... Prepare for launch..." (y/n) could tell them not to panic all she wanted but when the rocket's automated voice came on and the thrusters started to fire up and spark flames, it didn't matter. They were panicking, she was panicking because she just knew that they were meant to be the ones in that damn rocket, not the Thumb Buddies, who were just fledging fighters, totally unequipped to go into space.
"Fine?---" 
"Ignition...goodbye." Before she could offer any counsel or advice on how to shut the rocket down, the remaining thrusters kicked in and the shuttle started to shake, rattle and...fly. Screaming and pleading for their lives, the Thumb Buddies watched with pale faces and bloodshot eyes as Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger stood frozen on the lawn, getting smaller and smaller until they were like ants on the ground. 
They were up in the stratosphere before they even spoke again, unable to process that the one time they decided to accept some superhero interns and they accidentally sent them to the moon or something. Definitely not a mission to give to KLVY and certainly not their brightest moment.
"Well, I'll be darned..." Ray muttered as their necks stayed craned at the stars, watching the rocket into it was nothing more than a shooting star crossing the galaxies. (y/n) could swear that a tear rolled down her cheek as they became yet another star in the inky darkness; it was all so damn poetic, they'd wanted to shine and now they would but no one would ever know who they were admiring when they looked up at the sky and happened to see them floating past. They'd be immortalised in space and free to wander the cosmos as the Earth kept spinning...would anyone miss them?
Her thoughtful reflection was broken as delighted cheers broke the quiet of the night and when she finally brought her gaze back down, she saw that it was Stainless Steve. He'd crept back into the garden and was cheering at the sky as he watched his rocket disappear, which was no doubt his cunning method of getting rid of them once and for all. If only he noticed how he'd only succeeded in sending the wrong heroes.
"Goodbye, Captain Man and Kid Danger! And you're stupid little fiancée! Enjoy getting hitched in outer space for the rest of your---lives..." His screams were cut off as Ray, henry and (y/n) took a few steps forward and when the metal man turned around, he was met with their stony expressions. Oh, how they wanted to kick his ass into space too, maybe he'd bring their newfound friends back when he returned.
"You tried to trick us!" Ray realised as he looked from Stainless Steve to the path the Thumb Buddies took and back to his stupid shiny face. Right, it all made sense now, they were meant to run in there and get caught, not those guys. They had just been a very unfortunate accident, sneaky, little...
"You tried to shoot us into space!"
"No! No, I didn't!" Liar, liar...aluminium foil on fire. Steve cooly looked off to the right as they caught him out as if lying about what had just happened right in front of them would change anything. They might have looked dumb but they weren't, unlike him in his stupid metal outfit and facepaint. Why couldn't he just use a ski mask like most villains?
"You did too! We just watched your rocket fly away!" (y/n) spat, stepping forward as if she was about to punch the guy, but Ray's hand quickly caught her wrist to stop her from doing anything rash. She was upset, he could see that from her quivering bottom lip, so there was no knowing what was going through her mind and he didn't fancy letting her stand up to Steve alone, not when he was ready for a fight too.
"Yeah, so? What are you gonna do about it, girlie? Run and hide while Captain Man saves your pretty little ass?" Steve growled, taking one step closer so (y/n) could feel his breath fan across her face as he sneered. Contrary to popular belief, Miss Danger did not need the assistance of Captain Man because she was not a damsel in distress, nor was she afraid to fight her own battles, no matter how much Ray wrapped her in cotton wool sometimes.
"I hope for your sake that you've got metal everywhere..." She smiled sourly, watching as the confusion flickered over his features for a second before she took the plunge and kneed him right in the balls. Yeah, it was all well and good having metal plates sewn into your jacket but when you forget about the squishy parts, none of that really matters. 
Steve crumpled to the dirt and Ray and Henry witnessed the scene with wide eyes and their breath caught in their throats as the small girl took down a guy, who thought he could intimidate her. Well, here's to no little Steve's running around in the future. 
And just for good measure, Henry found a discarded, crusty soda cup lying on the ground, which was filled with a suspicious liquid that could have been soda or something more human, so naturally, he savagely threw it at the man's body, hoping the smell stayed with him for days. 
Ray would've done something too, he would've ensured that the villain stayed down until the cops arrived but he couldn't take his eyes off his sweet girl, who couldn't take her eyes off the rocket above their heads. It was just a speck at this point, only just in view and whilst she lamented the loss of the Thumb Buddies with Henry, he struggled to control his racing heart. It wasn't his fault that she was so hot when she fought.
"This is bad..." Henry said after a minute or two and he wasn't wrong. What could they do? They could muster the Schwoz's love shuttle and follow them but there was a strong chance they'd be dead by the time they managed to launch. Everything came back down to Earth eventually; the rocket wasn't big enough to fully explore the depths of space, and nor did it have the fuel to do so. It would circle the planet a few times, perhaps stray away just a little and then get caught by gravity again, at least, that's what (y/n) predicted. Was that good or bad though?
"Shhhh! We don't know what happened..." Ray silenced his sidekick as he snapped out of his filthy thoughts and promptly made a ruling on the matter. What the news didn't know wouldn't hurt them, right? As far as he was concerned, the Thumb Buddies were strangers to the Man Cave team and the night's events never occurred, which was cruel but what else could he do?
"Doofus, what are you talking about?" (y/n) asked with a frowning face. Sometimes, her dorkette just didn't get his dorkiness, not when she was racking her brain for a solution that didn't involve spending millions of dollars on a rescue mission.
"We were never here."
"We were never where?"
"We were somewhere else..."
"Where?"
"I wasn't here, and neither were you. In fact, I was at home with my fiancé all evening..." Oh, now she understood. Henry jumped onto his almost evil plan almost immediately as the man seized his girl by the arms and began to drag her away from the "scene of the crime". (y/n) didn't like it not one bit, but she allowed him to take her anyway--the mens rea to follow the actus reus as it were. Were they just gonna walk away and deny everything if the Thumb Buddies ever cropped up in conversation again? Yep, looked like it.
"Said Captain Man today in court when the prosecuting attorney questioned his whereabouts on the night of the disappearance," The heroine muttered bitterly as they scampered away from the house and back towards the Nacho Ball where they'd left the Man Van. 
It wasn't a long walk but it certainly looked suspicious for any lowlife witnessing three superheroes running away like they were the bad guys. Perhaps they wouldn't snitch when the police came knocking on doors and asking questions?
"You got a better idea, sweet girl? Other than going home and watching that rom-com with Ted Iggle-Piggle?" Ray asked with soft yet serious eyes because he was up for suggestions, anything she could give him, he'd take. She had to believe him, he wanted to do something about their...predicament but he had no idea how to get those fellow dorks back. Maybe a good night's sleep in each other's arms would bring some inspiration.
"His name is Tom Hiddleston, and no, I don't. I have nothing..." (y/n) replied tiredly, not even having the energy to twitch the corners of her mouth into a smile. Going to bed and chilling with a crap movie did sound nice and her doofus always knew how to take her mind off the bad stuff that waited outside the four walls of their bedroom. 
Sleep always brought better thoughts to her and who knows? Tomorrow might just give her an idea of what to do or maybe her worry would fade in the night, and honestly, she didn't know which was better. A hopeless struggle that might just fail or the prospect of carrying the guilt of never knowing for the rest of their lives? Her famous last words:
"Perhaps it's better to just forget. After all, I doubt we'll ever see them again..."
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bittercandysweetrain · 1 year ago
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Tokyo revengers x reader with mental illness Mikey pt 1
Illness - PTSD, Hemophobia
(warning mention of suicide, drug use, guns)
Reader's pov - 23 seconds was how long it took for me to realize what I was staring at. But once everything set in, so did panic. My body began shaking, and my legs moved on their own running towards the blood-filled bathtub. "No, no, no" was all I could repeat as my body lunged forward into the cold red water. All I could do was pull the soaking-wet body out. the frail thin body of my younger brother was so heavy at the time. He was only thirteen at the time, how was his body so heavy. Laying him on the tiled floor my tears were blinding me. I tried to wake him up, to get any response he wasn't breathing he wasn't moving. My body covered in his blood, I hurried off out of the bathroom grabbing the phone from the counter between sobs and cries I begged for help. "My b-brother please! he cut his wrist he isn't waking up please, please help me!" I screamed the operator tried his best to calm me down. Everything was in slow motion all I can remember feeling was my heartbeat. It felt as if the Paramedics took forever to get there. All I could do is hold my brother, I didn't want to let him go. Because if I did he would leave forever but with the force of the paramedics I had to drop his hand. Watching them work on his body, I clutched my hand, praying he would wake up and take a breath! But the look in the man's eyes, when he glanced at his colleague, made me realize My little brother wasn't going to wake up again.
Author's pov - 7 years had passed and the nightmare lessen however they were always there especially the month y/n died. She was a sixteen-year-old girl going to school and working a part-time job to take care of him. She felt guilty for never realizing how depressed he was If only she knew but she was just so tired by the time she got home she hardly gave him any of her time. that guilt she will forever live with. At the age of 23 (y/n) was working two jobs one as a convenience store worker and the other as a hostess at a well-known club. Saturday and Sunday were her days as a hostess wearing the usual black cocktail dress and high heels she clasped her diamond earrings on and began fixing her makeup. "psst (y/n) did Tora tell you about your job tonight?" her cousin asked, "No? did she change the schedule again?" y/n asked "No she put you on to work with me for a big group coming in, she said its an early Christmas bonus. but I looked into the people coming big gang people called Bonten these people are hella rich but dangerous." she said, "of course, Tora gets the old bastards so its easy money while we have to deal with shitheads like them." (y/n) said annoyed already she sighed giving in quickly "Fine we need a game plan how many men?" (y/n) asked "Eight," her cousin said, "and she wants only us to work?" (y/n) asked perplexed by the decision, "They didn't want a lot of women I think it's more of a meeting thing." Rosé was (y/n) best friend slash cousin they grew up together and pretty much did everything she helped her get the job and tried her best to take care of (y/n) through everything. "well we'll just put on the charm get the most expensive bottles and show Tora she can't fuck with us her men are gonna start dying off and she is gonna be begging us for our clients." rose said smirking.
Mikey sat with his legs crossed on the red leather music playing in the background and a large window sat behind him a view of the clubbers dancing. Bonten had the largest V.I.P. room to relax and do whatever they wanted. Sanzu was cutting coke with a black card while Kakucho was already drinking fine whiskey with Takeomi. The Haitani brothers were smoking large blunts and staring at the TV where they had made bets on horses. The door to V.I.P opened, (y/n) and Rosé walked in holding Champagne and an ice bucket. Rosé took the lead "Hello boys mind if we keep you company, I am Rosé" she said in a seductive voice "and I am (y/n) its a pleasure to treat you tonight." (y/n) bowed slightly as she set the bucket down. (y/n) was looking for signs of the leader which she thought Mochizuki was as he did seem the oldest. she honestly didn't want anything to do with the leader but all of them looked quite scary except for Mikey. for some reason, his eyes drew her into those cold dark empty eyes. Rosé was pulled into Ran's lap "You're ours tonight." Ran said blowing the Smoke into her face (y/n) squinted her eyes at him annoyed with his action she clicked her tongue before being jerked into Sanzu.  "Relax a bit you seem stiff," he said, "dance with me the music tonight is good," he said popping the champagne open "Can you even dance?" she asked Sarcastically "How rude of you," he said Sanzu pulled out a gun shoving it in her face  "Dance now," he threatened, "you'll still get your money." Sanzu had a crazed look in his eyes then again he did do two lines of coke, Koko watched intently amused by the situation along with some of the others. "leave the poor girl alone" Takeomi said, "you'll make her piss herself then we will have to deal with the cleaning bill." he said teasingly "who said I was pissing myself" (y/n) retorted "I ain't scared of no gun, I won't dance for you either until you ask nicely." she said Rosé's eyes widen she moved forward but the Haitani brothers kept her in place. Enjoying the show "You want me to ask Nicely" Sanzu smirked, "how about I make a better deal" he said "You guess the leader sitting in this room and I won't bother you, I'll even hand over 10 grand you can even walk out of this room. but if you lose You don't get to say no tonight and you do what I want plus no pay." he said smirking Rosé looked at her cousin "Don't do it (y/n)" she said "Double it and Rosé gets half" y/n said Koko burst into laughter "Deal you got 5 minutes." he said 
(f/n) bit the inside of her cheek as she glanced at the men in the room this man was confident she wouldn't know the leader could it have been him? no, he was too reckless and was snorting his own supply meaning he was higher in rank but not the leader. the two guys with Rosé could have been leaders as well but something told her no meaning four were left. she looked at Mochizuki and Takeomi older more laid back but she didn't see them as the leader either. this left Kokonoi and Mikey "5,4,3,2,1-" sanzu smirked as he counted down "him" (y/n) pointed at Mikey "He is the leader." she said Koko smirked and Kakucho laughed followed by the rest except for Mikey and Sanzu. "Fuck how did you get that right," he asked "I took a course In body language he is the leader," she said Rosé took a sigh of relief. "fucking shit," sanzu wrote a check for twenty thousand dollars handing it to her (y/n) stuffed it in her bra sitting down at the end of the couch she crossed her legs and poured the champagne. "you're not leaving?" Sanzu asked, "You said you wouldn't bother me." y/n said winking at him Koko looked at Sanzu "She played you well I like her." he said chuckling Sanzu clicked his tongue throwing the whiskey glass the shattering glass hit Rosé cutting her face. "watch it Sanzu!" Rindou shouted angrily as glass landed on him and his brother (y/n)'s eyes widen as she glanced at Rosé, Rosé could feel the trickle of blood she turned her head to see her reflection in the mirror. the blood on her face wasn't bad but still, for y/n it was. She turned to see (y/n) getting up watching her stumble back. y/n eyes held full shock as her hands shook, and her breathing began to get heavy she bumped into the table that held the drinks. falling back she landed on the glasses shattering them. Rosé stood up in shock seeing (y/n) arms dripping with blood. (y/n) began screaming she went into full panic mode Rosé pushed off of ran rushing over. She held onto (y/n) "Calm down, calm down!" she shouted, "what the fuck is wrong with her!" Sanzu shouted, "She's Hemophobic!" Rosé shouted "What the fuck non of us are gay! Maybe Koko," he said, "Hemophobic, not Homophobic!" Rosé shouted as she pulled (y/n) up helping her out the door. "so much for a night out," Takeomi said "Night's ruined thanks sanzu," Koko said, "I didn't do anything!" Sanzu shouted Mikey sat back finishing his drink everything that happened before him he took in as a mental note for later.
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cleverwinepun · 2 years ago
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The Wine ‘fo Today
Forza Moscato! Look at this photo of her, why is it so funny? The closeup shot for no reason in the worlds crunchiest quality, for a quality ($5) wine.
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Alrighty, so of course I’m going to dedicate the first “professional wine taste tm” review to the wine that inspired me to start this little blog for myself. This wine was so good to me it got me to start a blog??? Idk at first I snapped a photo of the bottle IMMEDIATELY after having my first sip so I could remember I liked it and buy it in the future and then I thought hey why don’t I write this down? In fact I should write about all the wines I like, maybe even the ones I didn’t like. Maybe … like my own personal wine review journal? A BLOG? Why am i this passionate about wine ? Did I inherit the alcoholic gene? (Yes) I basically just wanted to scrapbook every drink I’ve ever liked for future reference and thought this was a pretty silly and elaborate way to do so.
I’m not sure how those professional wine tasters describe the wines they drink, what the notes are, how the hell they can tell the literal chemical compound of the liquid just by gargling it. All I know is that this wine just tastes like juice, n that’s why mama likey. My favorite wines are definitely the ones that are basically “fruit juice that makes my tummy feel funny” because I’m literally an overgrown child. This one was very lovely! Basically tasted like the white grape juice you find in the supermarket, and is only like 6 bucks. It’s main attribute is that it’s VERY sweet, like salivates your mouth upon contact sweet. I had it warm so this sweetness was probably a little more prominent thanks to that, and though I expressed to myself it would probably be even better chilled, I did not get to try it that way. I’m known to not be the best at sipping in moderation, and fruity drinks are always a very dangerous game because the less it tastes like alcohol, the faster I’m going to drink it, and the faster I will get drunk (This of course does not bother me, but definitely bothers my mother, the one who is actually doing the wine purchasing) Overall, just a very sweet drink I’d mostly recommend for a time you wish to experience a little jolt while you watch a silly show or something, but not really to accompany a nice dinner or anything. Maybe something to stick in the mango slushie you ordered with your Taco Bell meal while you watch Big Brother or some other drivel (slash positive).
Rating
I’m not exactly sure how this bottle got in my house? Some family came over earlier on the same day I tried the wine randomly at 3am, and it was just put out on the table. It was put out half empty though? Like it didn’t seem like my mother went out and bought it for the occasion that same morning, and I swear I’ve never seen the bottle before then? Where the hell could she have been hiding it if that was the case? When was she drinking this, because why else would it be half empty? Lot of unanswered questions with this bottle, but I’ve always liked my women a little mysterious. Anyways solid 5/5, but I am only going to be able to try her like three times because once again the bottle was presented half empty and I’m trying to do some Houdini level trickery to make it seem like the liquid level has not changed by keeping it above the bottom of the logo line so it’s not obvious I’ve been sneaking cups of it while everyone is asleep (how I enjoy most of my drinks). Can’t wait to buy her for myself in like a year and a month. Nummy nummy nummy.
My Sipping Buddy:
I really wanna include this segment to shoutout what I was doing or who I was with while enjoying the drink in question, but my very legit physic senses are telling me most of these are gonna be whatever silly YouTube video I watched while I drank bc I mostly drink alone in my bedroom at odd hours of the night, so…
My sipping buddy for this wine was Jenny Nicholson! Specifically this 3 hour docu-tube-mentary on Evermore; which despite it’s not super long timespan, took me like two whole days to watch?? Idk I kept stopping and attempting (and obviously failing) to watch it in odd places like in the shower. Anyways it left me longing for a alternate dimension where Evermore wasn’t a total flop and delivered on everything it said it would be and I got to go and I would officially be able to die the happiest person on planet earth because I was alive at a time where I could go to the coolest larping theme park on Earth. God I really wish Evermore turned out how it was envisioned. Great video though, Jenny is always a hoot, and I love a good deep dive into the most random shit.
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Anyways my tummy hurts because my body is freaking out over not having a baby inside it this month and I am starting to physically feel my eyebags resting on my face so I’m not proof reading this and posting it now. But let’s be honest even if I wasn’t in excruciating pain I’m probably not gonna proofread anything I post here.
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trauma-bunnies · 5 years ago
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Diiiiiiiiiizzy
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beyondspaceandstars · 3 years ago
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congratulations! 📚 could you do promos 4 & 7 from the smut with Natasha Romanoff???
by the way, I hope you have a great day/night!
Brat
Relationship: CEO!Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Warnings: SMUT, NSFW, fingering, dirty talk - 18+, minors DNI
Word Count: 1.7k
A/N: I went a bit CEO!Natasha with this one - hope that’s okay, I thought it lent well! Also, thank you! I hope you're having a nice day/night as well :)
Masterlist
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
You really didn’t want to go and Natasha knew this but she was also quite the persuasive one, having such a dominance to her that you could rarely, if ever, say no to.
So, that’s how you found yourself a bit grumpily sitting in the car passenger seat while your girlfriend drove you two to whatever charity banquet this was.
Natasha was constantly getting these invitations being the high-up, fancy CEO that she was and usually you were fine with them. You liked the little appetizers and flutes of champagne. You especially liked your girlfriend parading you around, showing you off to fancy city people.
But tonight just wasn’t the night for you. You had had a ridiculous day at your own job and frankly, you just wanted to lounge around with your girl, maybe order pizza, and have lazy sex. Natasha had shut down your idea, saying she already RSVP’d for you two. Grudgingly, you shoved yourself into a dress and let her whisk you away
Little did she know, though, that you weren’t letting down easily. You had some potential ideas for the night, hoping that maybe — just maybe — you can rile Natasha up enough to keep her focus just on you and not the millionaires trying to network.
Upon arriving at the event, you hunted down the first tray of champagne you could find, taking a swig of the alcohol promptly. Natasha followed your path, stopping every now and then to chat, but once she was free of the schmoozing, she marched right towards you. An arm made it was tightly around your waist.
"What is your problem?" She gritted in your ear just below a whisper so no one could pick up on the tension. Your eyes darted around the room
"Nothing," you responded, taking another sip of champagne.
Natasha scoffed. "Well, you’re acting like a brat." She grabbed your glass out of your hand. You gasped but before you could protest, Natasha asked, "Is this because I made you come here tonight?
You shot her a look before taking back your champagne and finishing it off. "I’m gonna go get another drink."
Before your girlfriend could pull you back to her, you were already on a rampage for the bar. Luckily, no one tried to stop you. Thanks to your relations with Natasha, you had worked up a bit of your own status but it wasn’t like anyone genuinely cared. You weren’t negotiating deals.
You leaned on the bar and signaled for the bartender. You asked for something a little stronger. He nodded politely and got to making the drink. You turned your attention to the freshly polished wood of the bar.
Running a finger over it carelessly as you waited, out of the corner of your eye you noticed someone approach beside you. It was a man you somehow didn’t recognize. He looked very well put-together, almost like he was trying too hard, with his designer pressed suit and hair that could go up in flames from all the product in it.
You tried to ignore him, turning your attention to the bartender who was still at work, but it was hard when the man was not-so-subtly inching towards you. This wasn’t going to go very well, you thought. But you weren’t stopping it.
"In need of something to get you through the night?" The man suddenly asked. Your gaze shot over to him.
"Excuse me?"
He chuckled, "I meant the drink."
As if on cue, a glass was placed right in front of you. You wrapped your hands around it, slowly bringing it to your lips for a sip as you eyed the stranger. He was watching you quite intensely.
You hummed, delighted by the cocktail. "These things can sometimes be…draining."
He sighed. "Tell me about it."
The conversation fell into a lull. You tried glancing around at the other patrons, all completely oblivious to the bar, but just couldn’t shake this man and his eyes which were still watching you. They shamelessly took in the curves of your dress and even lingered a bit on your chest.
Your stomach dropped as you suddenly saw him step even closer, his finger lightly brushing your arm in the process. You froze but still made no chance to dash away. Maybe your goal of annoying your girlfriend tonight was going a bit too far…
"You know," he began, his voice dangerously low, "if you wanted to sneak away for a bit—"
"She doesn’t," Natasha gritted as she suddenly approached you two. You just about let out a sigh of relief as her arm came around your waist, pulling you into her side. You yelped at the action, stumbling a bit, but she held you tight.
The mystery man looked you two over, a bit of a pleased expression graced his face. But he didn’t press further, probably very deterred by the daggers Natasha’s eyes were shooting at him. He collected his drink from the bar and raised it at you two as if in some awkward toast.
"Fair enough, ladies," he said, and then he was back in the crowd, lost in the sea of aristocrats.
You didn’t know what to do now, opting to stare down at your drink.
"What the hell was that about?" Natasha asked.
"I- He just came up to me," you pouted.
Natasha shook her head in disappointment as she began walking you two away from everyone else. You didn’t know where she was leading you until you were roughly pulled into the women’s restroom. It was empty, thankfully, and you heard the turn of the lock as you placed your drink on the counter.
"He just came up to you," Natasha repeated. She was sauntering over, looking very much more like some powerful CEO than your sweet girlfriend. You gulped and gripped the edge of the bathroom sink. "He may have came up to you but I didn’t see you making any moves to walk away."
"Well—"
"And you let him touch you," she scoffed. "Don’t think I didn’t see his fingers on your fucking arm." For emphasis, she gripped the spot he had brushed over. You yelped. "What made you think he could do that, hmm? What, did you forget who you belong to?"
"No, Natasha, I didn’t mean—" You pleaded but she wasn’t buying it.
"I’m not buying it," she said as she roughly turned you around, her back pressing your front into the bathroom counter. "In fact, I think you need a little reminder."
You held your breath in anticipation as Natasha began gathering the skirt of your dress. You knew what she was going to find underneath. And you certainly knew it wasn’t going to help your case.
Sure enough, once your lower region was exposed, Natasha let out a gasp. “No panties? Are you kidding me right now?!”
"Natasha, please—"
"You really are a fucking brat, aren’t you?"
You tried shaking your head but it was no use. Her mind was made as she pressed into you even more, her hand now coming to caress your inner thigh. You whimpered out your girlfriend’s name as her fingers began slowly circling your clit. She chuckled in your ear before collecting some of the wetness dripping from your folds and putting attention back on your clit.
"So wet for me," Natasha murmured. "It is for me, right? Or did that man out there get you dripping like a needy slut?"
You groaned, captivated by the action happening between your thighs. "Just for you," you said as your eyes slowly fluttered. Natasha picked up the pace adding slight pressure as well. You squealed.
"That’s it," she whispered, holding you tighter around the waist. "That’s my girl."
Suddenly, though, she moved her fingers back to your folds where, without warning, she shoved two fingers inside you. You yelped, twisting in her grip. She didn’t even budge. You cried out as the fingers flicked upwards, hitting just the right spots.
"If you want to act like a slut you have to deal with being fingered like one, got it?" Natasha said. Her mouth was practically on your ear, she was whispering so lowly it sent goosebumps up your arms. She was pissed and serious. You were loving it.
"Y-Yes, Natasha." You barely managed to get the words out but your girlfriend seemed very pleased. Her fingers picked up — significantly. A squelching noise now filled the bathroom, coming directly from your wetness which was not stopping any time soon it seemed. Natasha was also taking the moment to make sure her hand was hitting your clit. With every single pump. It was getting overwhelming very, very fast.
You spoke again, "Please, please… I’m gonna cum."
"Yeah?" Natasha mocked. "My little slut needs to cum?"
You nodded your head profusely. "Please, please." The begging was becoming second nature at this point, your only instinct. Natasha seemed very pleased with that.
"Fine," she huffed. "Cum all over my fingers you greedy little girl. And you better scream when you cum. I want every single person, especially that man, to know who’s treating you so well."
Her paced picked up even more (how that was possible you didn’t know) and your body reacted wonderfully. Within moments, you were crumbling like a house of cards. Your orgasm rushed over you as you cried out much louder than you had actually intended. You couldn’t stop as Natasha continued to work you through the orgasm. She didn’t give up until you were limp in her arms.
She chuckled, watching your body practically collapse from pleasure. "Was that good, honey?"
"Yes," you mumbled, leaning into her body. Natasha fixed your dress and brought her hand to caress your cheek.
"Good," she said and placed a quick kiss on your lips. "Maybe that’ll teach you to behave."
Now it was your turn to laugh. "Why would I behave when that’s what I get for being bad?"
Abruptly, Natasha’s hand came around your neck, forcing you to look at her. Her gaze was dark, her CEO stance still very much engaged. "Don’t even tempt me."
You bit your lip teasingly but nodded your head slowly. You certainly didn’t mean it, though, already secretly planning the next time you could ruffle her feathers.
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dienamights · 4 years ago
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Unfavorable Guidance | H.Shinso
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​✎ Mindjack has been doing these kind of jobs since he was recruited as a hero, he is unmistakingly the best at them, doesn’t need anyone butting their noses in his business, especially you, the sly fox in disguise, offering your tainted helping hand.
✎ Protagonists: Hitoshi Shinso x Fem!Reader.
✎ Word count: 6.4K
✎Category: noncon/dubcon, Smut MDNI, Prohero!au
✎Caution(!):  noncon/dubcon, Smut 18+ MDNI please, , mentions of alcohol, mentions of murder, minor character death, sex under quirk use, spitting, degrading, swearing, manipulation, unprotected sex. 
✎ Author’s notes: I KNOW I’M LATE EUFGKHDFVBDFXL, but here is my contribution to @daisy-bakugo​ 2k event Vice City! Please take the time to read everyone’s work if you haven’t! Thank you so much for letting me participate.
I listened to this throughout the entire process of writing it, if you’re familiar with Kingdom Hearts, some names will ring a bell to you lol. also I hate the header and the summary but you’re just gonna have to live w it for now cause its 8 am I NEED SLEEP
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The annual auction of Vice City is one of the biggest social events of the year. The wealthiest families and richest people in the world come from everywhere in attempts to win what is secretly considered the greatest treasures of all time. Greatest and most expensive.
Alas, the after party held later on is what people are all secretly actually waiting for, where the most exquisite and rarest artifacts of the year get auctioned off to whoever is lucky enough to even be included in the guest list.
While not all are there for the auctions, it certainly is the perfect opportunity for anyone who's anyone in the world to show off their wealth. Filthy rich people sway all around, laughing and bragging. Venetian crystal chandeliers, velvet carpets, gambling, and alcohol. Men with their cigars, men with their wives, and men with their arm candies, their escorts or mistresses.
Yet, Shinso isn’t here for the luxury, he isn't here for the fame and the fortune, nor the reputation people thrive for when they buy those - meaningless, he calls them - relics. No, he is here on a mission, one he certainly wants to be done and over with because he wants to go home. He loosens his tie with an aggravated sigh before knocking back the last of his only gin and tonic, the bitter taste prickling his throat as he surveys the crowd of people all around him while he stands idly by the bar.
He knew it’d be a pain in the ass the second he got the mission assigned to him from the agency, the words “intel” and “Vice City'' of all places forced a frown upon his face, yet, being the most suitable for this job, he couldn't really decline.
Mindjack isn’t the type of hero you see on billboards and magazines, isn’t the type of hero to kiss babies’ heads that get thrusted at him in meet and greets, he certainly isn’t one to have those adoring fan clubs that follow his every move, posting about his greatest conquests. Oh no, he is a hero that works in dingy jobs with filthy manipulative men in black markets and the human trafficking industry, undercover -lie through your teeth throughout the whole ordeal- kind of hero, the kind of hero that goes home at the end of his missions with no gratitude towards his work, because nobody knows who he is or what he contributes to the society.
For the longest time, Shinso accepted the life he’s living, he didn’t look for validation from the citizens, knowing his work is always beyond the scope of their knowledge and their awareness, but sometimes, just sometimes, the sour droplets of envy would foul his mouth when his amethysts for eyes scan over the extravagant heroes, making a show out of saving their cities and getting praised and awarded and loved for doing what they’re supposed to be doing, their job. 
“Squeeze that glass a bit more and you’d break it”
A voice just like silk, weaving around him and entrancing him, Shinso blinked twice before his eyes dragged over to you, oh so beautiful and oh so close. Your nimble fingers wrapped around his fingers, the lacey glove lightly scratches his hand before he lets go of the glass in surprise, dropping it into yours. You giggle sweetly, turning around to place it on the bar before ordering your own, but not without looking at him over your shoulder and sending him a smile.
“What will it be, sugar tits?” the bartender leans over the counter, towel thrown on his shoulder as he sends you what's supposed to be a sultry look. Your elbow is placed on the counter while you rest your chin on your hand, smiling temptingly at him. “Anything that’ll get you to stop staring at my boobs.” Shinso almost laughs at the contrast between your smile and your voice, sharp and venomous, and the man leans back so far from you like he’s been stung. Walking away to work on a drink for you.
Shinso’s eyes rake your body without his knowledge, he admires the dress adorning your body, hugging you in all the right places, cascading down to the floor, and that slit my god, your legs looking endless in those heels he wonders how you can strut so elegantly with them on. A snap of your fingers breaks his trance and he tries - keyword tries - to act nonchalant to his obvious ogling and you only laugh in return.
You hum lowly, “So,” you’re turning to face him as you lean back on the counter, pushing your chest out to grasp even more of his attention, “what's an esteemed hero like you doing in a place like this?” It takes Shinso a good minute before he narrows his eyes, left foot back and ready to either take you down or run away if you were to involve greater forces. No one is supposed to know about his true identity, no one is supposed to know that there is a hero within them.
But what shakes his demeanor is the way you dangle his wallet in front of him, like dangling a stupid feather for some silly cat, waiting for it to jump at you to entertain you. Shinso swallows with a struggle, deciding that using his quirk to retrieve his wallet back will lead to him leaving, and he didn’t want that. He’s been keeping an eye on the wanted man for hours now, and it’ll all go to waste because of your slimy little hands and your-
“Here,” you toss it back to him, and he stumbles a bit before catching it properly, eyeing you for any sudden movements, but you simply turn back around in time to hold the drink from the bartender’s hand with a smile dazzling your lips. “You’re getting intel on The Wise?” you mumble against your cup, sipping slowly, eyes never leaving Shinso’s glaring ones. How the fuck do you know?
“You’re not the first.” you smirk, finger wiping the smeared lipstick against the glass before circling the rim. “You all look the same, thinking you’re better than them because of your position in the society, only for that ego to come and bite you right in the ass.” It’s almost ironic how poisonous your voice could get while still maintaining that mesmerizing smile, and oddly enough, Shinso’s eyes keep drooping despite his desperate attempt to fight against them.
You hum again, the click of your heels sounding muffled to him, eyes blurring when you get so close to him your breath tickles his cheek. “But you’re different, hmm? You’re gonna make the bad guy go away?” 
“Yes.” it's rushed, almost desperate, and the hero is astonished at how he sounds. “Then, lemme help you… Hitoshi.”
A blink, and you’re gone just like you vanished right from under his nose, slipped right between his fingers. A low curse escapes Shinso’s lips and he turns around swiftly to question the bartender, hell bent on getting any information on the girl that just revealed his entire identity and mission to him in a matter of seconds. 
“How can I help you, sir?” the question boggles his mind, the big burly man with an attitude problem wasn’t there anymore, replaced by another sweet woman that held concern in her eyes at his sight. “You’ve been staring at the wall for a while there, need me to call your driver to get you back?” 
“Wa- but I- She,” Shinso’s body started heating up in anger, worry, embarrassment, he doesn’t really know, but what he wants to know right this instant is how long he’s been out of it and for god’s sake, why?
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Shinso doesn’t really consider himself to be the sharpest tool in the shed, but dammit did he feel like a complete idiot letting you run off like that, a quick trip to the restroom for a splash of water clears his head enough for him to pull back his wallet from his pocket, flipping through it and finding something he was absolutely sure wasn’t there prior to your visit. A silver card, with ‘Surveillance room’ scribbled on a note behind it.
Caving in and accepting whatever help you were offering him, Shinso slides the card through the reader, sighing in relief upon the satisfying ding sound, followed by the door opening to the surveillance room.
“Now that’s what’m talking about.” life got so much easier now that he could watch The Wise through multiple screens, making it hard to miss a single move of his. The hero allows himself to relax a bit, hand messing with his hair and tired eyes blinking in irritation against the glare of the screens. The Wise was the mastermind of Organization XIII, as their name intel, they’re consisting of the same thirteen members that founded it years ago, nobody really knows how they started, what shocked the whole world is how grand their first crime actually was, bloodbath of the century -they would call it, seventeen slaughtered heroes, followed by their families, including women and children, thousands of millions of ¥ in money laundering atop of it, all within a span of 4 months, that was years ago, back in their prime.
Now, with eight of them behind bars, the remaining five were able to stay under the radar, distributing whatever money they were able to keep between them and fleeing to different parts of the world. Just because they were apart, didn’t mean they were any less dangerous, The Wise is a prime example for that, brutally murdering three of the undercover heroes sent his way to bring him back to justice, but they weren’t Shinso, he’d try to remind himself.
May their soul rest in peace, they were those heroes he felt dissociated from, the type of heroes to flaunt their powers, monetize the peoples’ knowledge of their quirks, uncover the secrets of their job, they were easy targets for people like The Wise, he’d know their weaknesses and how to take them down before they even think about pursuing him. Now, Mindjack was a different story, he wasn’t held on a pedestal by the people he saves, simply because they don’t recognize him, while he would loath that reality sometimes, he thanks the god for it today, as he’s watching the man’s call out for a drink.
Amethyst eyes scan the remaining screens, widening upon the sight of you looking right back at them, you are a vixen to him, eyes half lidded with a smile so intoxicating it does nothing but entrance whoever was lucky enough to catch its sight. Lace clad fingers wrapping around a piece of paper, you are so beautiful, Shinso tries to stop his mind from wandering, imagining what you wore underneath that angel crafted dress, envisioning what those fingers could do to please him, the same fingers that held the unfolded paper, the word ‘RUN’ smeared across it in lipstick.
Wait a minute, run?
Even before the poor hero could react, the similar satisfying -now dreadful- ding rings in his ear, before the door opens behind him, illuminating the room even more. Shinso stands to face two men, both as surprised as he is to see another occupant in the room. Right before any of them move, the hero opens his mouth and prays to god that whatever way he’s winging it works. “You got a permit to be here?”
Jesus one of you answer, and they both do - the left having fingers curving into talons while the right pulled at strings from the tips of his fingers, both ready to attack - and by god Shinso couldn’t be happier upon hearing a sound, because the minute the word ‘yes’ slips through their lips, Mindjack is smiling like a madman, welcoming the look of glossy eyes and heavy heads like a beloved relative’s return back home. 
“Great… Now,” the two manipulated  men face him, unaware of the dreaded fate bestowed upon them, while Shinso just can’t seem to keep the glint in his eyes at bay. “Why don’t you put on a show for me,” he breathes, smiling down at the ground before looking at them. ”Choke the fucking life out of each other.” The men don’t even blink, quick to face each other and jump, hands wrapped around throats like a vice, Shinso only moves away from the men on the floor as they thrash and kick at each other, limbs flailing as they try to force the life out of each other.
Turning his back against them, Shinso eyes the screen he was monitoring before their entrance, ignoring the groans and gasps of air behind him. He curses under his breath when he sees The Wise getting up from his place, heading towards a room that is supposed to be monitored by screen #6, but is purposely out of service. If he isn’t able to question The Wise or even keep an eye on him, then he’s gonna head on over to the next best thing. Gargled screams echo through the corridor as the hero makes his exit, making sure the door clicks shut behind him, he wouldn’t want to cause disturbance to the esteemed guests of the society of lowlifes.
Mindjack works in dingy jobs with filthy manipulative men in black markets and the human trafficking industry, killing machines that didn’t spare the live of the innocents, so why should he spare theirs? 
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Shinso makes it back to the main event, immediately finding you between guests, sitting so pretty on the poker table, eyes drawing him closer, the grin adorning your lips now wobbly, easy for him to distinguish as fake, forced, a façade kept for the people surrounding the table. He is hasteful in settling himself in the chair near you, shoulders tense when different pairs of eyes fall upon him, the dealer shuffles the deck to draw cards for Shinso, but you hold your hand out with a smile. “He’ll sit this one out, by my lucky onlooker.” A round of laughter causes Shinso to flush in embarrassment, feeling degraded and looked down upon by all these lowlifes, petty thieves and criminals, thinking they’re better than him, oh he’ll show them.(1)
It takes a few rounds for the table to empty out, now occupied by Shinso and yourself, the dealer asks him to move over to the next chair before they start their game. “Place your bets.” you’re quick to slide over a few of your chips to his side - some black, others red and blue, he didn’t really pay that much attention to them- your eyes daring him to reject your invitation to take the money to play.
He only blinks at you, his eyes seemingly never wanting to lose sight of you as he fights with himself to sit straight to face the dealer again, the man proceeds to deal both of you the cards for you to review before placing your bets. “You tricked me.” Shinso is almost appalled at the hurt laced in his voice, as if the two of you had a bond that was never meant to be broken. “don’t believe so, told you to run didn’ I?” The mockery in your voice is a hoax, the single twitch in your brow catches his attention and he can only deem it as you being stressed, whether it be because of the ordeal regarding the surveillance room or not is beyond him. No, he was stupid and foolish and he will not fall for your silly games again. “Exactly, you knew they were coming.” you hum in response to his accusation.
“Call.” Dropping a few of your chips on the table, your eyes shift momentarily to him, “I did, I said I’d help you and here I am.” He slams his bet on the table, ‘Raise’ gritted right through his teeth at your words. “I don’t want your help!” He reveals his cards on the table, a way to show his disinterest in your assistance as the dealer announces ‘Flush’ at his hand. Your eyes meet again from above your cards, now narrowing down instead of the half lidded look you seem to always have “You don’t want it, but you need it.” The façade you held before is slowly but surely breaking, now a deep frown tugging at your lip as you reveal your own hand, brows furrowing even further in challenge as you hum in displeasure when the dealer announces your ‘Full House’ hand to be the winner of this round.(2)
Shinso moves swiftly to stand when he sees you do the same, right before his entire world starts to spin, lights and colors mingling together and causing his head to spin, he sits down again, head between his hands as he tries to calm himself down, it's probably the strain of the mission, maybe it’s the weight bestowed upon his shoulders to finish it up. The hero lifts his head up to ask you, about something he himself isn’t even sure of, he just wants to hear your voice, like a drug to him that he can’t help but ask for more. Except when he does, you aren’t there, the table is occupied by different people, the dealer is another man with longer hair and slimmer figure, and by god did Shinso want to rip his hair out.
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The minute he feels like he could get back on his own to feet without falling down on his ass, Hitoshi is quick to check his pockets, adamant to find a clue your sneaky hands slid into one of his pockets while he was out, despite the tantrum he almost threw at not wanting your help nor guidance, and he does find something, a simple metal key, attached to it was a tag with the number XIII on it. 
In his shock, he almost drops the key on the ground but barely holds himself together to avoid any further embarrassment, Shinso takes deep breaths, knowing that the key in his possession is his entry to the heart of the organization, and especially to The Wise. 
Every year, specifically at the Vice City annual auction afterparty, The Wise holds a meeting with the most dangerous men within the continent, the most loathsome masterminds of the criminal world, all in the hopes of recruiting one of them into the organization, to uphold its name and spread its message. Every year, with no recruitment yet. 
With trembling hands, Shinso stuffs the key back into his pocket, eyes on the lookout for anyone who might’ve caught the key in his hand, but sighs in relief when he sees some engrossed in their meaningless poker and absurd talks, while the majority have made their way to the next hall over for the auction that is being held. He takes the stairs three at a time up the floors, facing a red oak double door, the same forsaken number engraved into it. After multiple failed attempts at inserting the key in the lock, he finally does with a huff, hearing the lock echoing in his ears before pushing the door open.
To be honest, Shinso didn’t know what he was expecting to see on the other side of the door, he thought maybe he’d watch weaponry trade off, perhaps people brawling and fighting amongst each other for the title of being the new members. But he certainly didn’t expect to be engulfed in jazz music, men with their cigars laughing and chatting, without a single care in the world, as if their hands weren’t tainted with the blood of the innocents, oh how he loathed them. In an attempt to fit in, he grabs a glass of whiskey from the butler standing by the door, nodding to him in thanks before moseying his way over to the corner in the room, he’d be damned if he got caught in the crossfire of those lunatics.
A stage is set up in the front of the room, and it takes a second for him to acknowledge the pole placed right at its center, it takes him another few seconds to see the beauty dancing on that pole, Shinso’s eyes rake her body without his knowledge, he admires the lingerie adorning her body, hugging her in all the right places, garter snug against her thighs as she twirls, her legs looking endless in those heels he wonders how she can dance so elegantly with them on… wait a minute. 
As if predicting the minute he realized it was you, you twirl to face him, lips pulled into a smile yet again, a giggle interrupting your humming as your body twists and turns on the pole. Shinso isn’t really sure how long he sits there captivated by your body, the only thing breaking his trance is the clap on his back and the heavy weight that sits next to him. “Beauty, isn’t she?”
Bile rises to Shinso’s throat at the mere sound of the person next to him, fear stills him in his place, restricting any movement he’s even thinking of doing, all he could do is sit, widened eyes and sweaty brows at the sight of The Wise right beside him. 
“Don’cha love it when women like her,” The Wise points at you with his cigar, “work to please men like us?” His arm now completely wrapped around Shinso’s shoulder as the hero feels his soul levitating from his body. “Look aroun’ya,” and he does, and only then does he really pay attention, he should’ve seen it all along, the glossy eyes, the droopy heads, it's a sight he was so well accustomed to that his brain normalized it to him. With whatever courage he musters up, he shifts his eyes to look at the man beside him, noticing the ear plugs he wore, and right then the gears start to turn in his head. “My most prized possession I tell’ya.” 
Of course you would be, how else would you have access to all these things, the card, the key, the vanishing from thin air, it all makes sense now.
“Enjoying yourselves, gentlemen?” your words are flowing like honey to his ears, a low buzz ringing in his brain as you spoke to the men in front of you. His ability to frown is nonexistent, a relaxed look adorning his face as he looks up at you, so elegant and beautiful in whatever hugged that miracle of a body.
“Sure are,” The Wise jerks Shinso by the shoulder, and he realizes that was done to break whatever trance he was in, he could only glare back at you when you smile at them, that conniving smile that hosted all the lies you spouted to him.
“y/n,” He calls you and by God if this isn’t the most beautiful name Shinso ever hears, what a shame it's being tainted by the voice of this criminal. “Wadda ya say to takin’ this fine boy to the red room, hm?” The man urges him to stand and take your hand, which he did at the blink of an eye, his body moving on it’s own to graze his lips against your knuckles in a breathless kiss. “Treat’m real nice for me.” The hero’s feet take him to follow you, his steps light, like walking on clouds, the sway of your hips pulling him closer to you until his chest is flush against your back, pushing you to move faster into the room you are pointed towards.
Walking aimlessly through hallways, taking lefts and rights he would never be able to recollect in his current state, you both enter a room, red just like The Wise called it, crimson silk sheets fitted on a king sized bed, maroon loveseats and plush carpets, everything in that red hue that it's almost nauseating. 
Bringing your hands in a loud clap, the fogginess in Shinso’s vision dissolves, your creased brows and frown now more prominent to him than ever, his eyes catch the scar trailing from the back of your neck to your cleavage, confused as to why his usual perceptive self would miss it, but then again, he doesn’t feel like he was ever himself throughout this whole ordeal.
To say he was furious is an understatement, he never felt more played in his life, he is Mindjack, the most conniving hero of all of Japan, he was manipulative and sly , known by his people to get jobs done, no matter who his opponent is, he always comes back victorious. And when his ears pick up your sigh of relief, he could only see red, he is hurt, he is scared, but now its his act, his turn to fuck shit up, he wants to hurt, he wants to scare.
“Fuckin’ lying bitch,” It takes him all but two steps for his body to graze yours, tantalizing eyes boring down into yours as you gasp at the close proximity, “you were workin’ with’em this entire fuckin’ time?”
“N-no that’s not it,” you stutter, flustered at his overwhelming presence, trying to put some distance between you and the fuming man by pushing his chest, “Please, I need you to listen to me.” 
“Oh, now you’re beggin’ hmm?” his firm warm hands circle your wrists, tugging them away from his body and using them to pull you even closer to him, his breath now grazing the tops of your cheeks, “Didn’t your boss tell you to treat me right?” he breathes, “well, get to it, slut.”
“That’s not what this is Hitoshi, just listen-” for the love of all that’s pure in this world, why does the sound of his name exceed his perception of how happiness is supposed to reverberate in his ear? “Keep my name outta your mouth, or I swear,” He hisses at you, the grip on your wrists tightening as you whimper out in pain. 
“You think you can just toy with me? Have me running around and following your orders like a lil bitch!?” He sees you trembling, lips wobbly and in tears, how ironic, he doesn’t know a few words would get you to start tearing up, the change in demeanor from when he first met you confuses him for a second, but only a second, because he’ll be damned if he falls for any of your tricks anymore. “N-no, I swear it isn’t like that, just p-please, please c-calm down! Let me explain myself-” the ugly cackle he lets out shuts you up, teary eyes widening as they fall on his, the aura he’s radiating is terrifying to say the least, your knees shaking in dread at what’s about to fold.
“You think you can play my game and win?”
It takes you a minute to answer, the word no echoing in your head, throbbing in your brain so painfully you forget the words that follow it, but what you can’t forget, what you will never forget, no matter how delirious you feel, is the look of pure sin across Shinso’s face, grin rivaling that of the Cheshire cat, because you were now simply a measly little pawn in his game. 
Mindjack works in dingy jobs with filthy manipulative men in black markets and the human trafficking industry, criminals that broke every law in their way to get what they desire, so why couldn’t he indulge even a little himself? 
He lets go of your wrists, watching as your arms sway next to your body like dead weight before he turns around to flop down on the loveseat, legs spread wide as he waves his hand over to you.
“Waddaya waitin’ for,” he knows you can’t answer him, but it feels so fucking good to hold such power over you after all you’ve put him through. “Now, strip.” the surge of power he feels jolts his dick up in excitement as he watches you take off your lingerie, moves robotic and forced, eyes glazed over both with tears and his control over your dumb little brain. Hitoshi is no villain, he is a respectable hero, but he’s been called that all his childhood, he might as well live up to that expectation, one way or another.
Shinso stands when you’re fully naked in front of him, long legs circling you and taking you all in, the back of his hand grazes your nipple and he all but groans as it pebbles at his touch. But god, he was nowhere near being done with you.
“Spread your legs for me on that bed,” he grins at the way you follow his orders even before he asks, “will ya?” you settle yourself on the bed before slowly dropping your weight on your back, hazy eyes staring up into the ceiling as your arms bring themselves down to circle the back of your knees, pulling them up close to your chest to expose yourself to him. 
Shinso’s cock twitches in his pants again at the opportunity to just seath it into you without any warning, but he barely holds himself back, approaching your body and feeling himself salivating at the sight, what a sight it is, your pussy looking so fucking beautiful clenching over nothing, the sight tempting him to just dive his face right in to get a taste of your juices.
Taking off his suit jacket and rolling the sleeves of his shirt, Shinso presses his thumb to your clit, frowning when he notices how dry you are, of course you would be, he chuckles to no one, puckering his lip to spit right at the nub, watching it trail down to your clenching hole, the sight igniting a flame within him, he does it again, simply to watch your spit hide in your cunt, impatient to follow suit and bury himself in there. 
His thumb is quick to draw circles with your clit, needing for your orgasm to wash over you quickly, eager for the things he’d do to you after he preps you enough to take him. The usual comforting silence is thick between you, no moans escaping your ajar mouth as your arousal seeps out of your pussy, he prods your hole with his finger to collect your nectar, smearing it across your clit again to rub even faster against it.
The only indication of you coming undone is when your thighs start to shake, your body curling in on itself as your back arches, your cunt gushing on his fingers, and Shinso is almost disappointed to not hear you moan out his name in pleasure. But he isn’t that disheartened, he’s bound to hear you scream.
You on the other hand, are petrified at the way your body is being handled, feeling yourself looking down at the horror being folded in front of you, this isn’t you, this is a shell of who you are, wrapped around his finger, at his mercy, and you want out, no matter the cost. But, you are to regret these words, because you see him unbuckling his belt, you hear the zipper drilling in your ear, and you watch him lay atop you, feeling your lungs constrict at the weight settling upon it, and to your utmost terror, the only thing that breaks his bind on you is when you feel his warm head prodding at your entrance, right before seething completely in, your throat prickling when you wail hoarsely in pain at feeling like being split into two.
“No, nonononon, st-stop please, please!” You’re crying, legs thrashing and arms flailing trying to push this monster off of you, but you can’t, you think as your walls pulsate in pain at the intrusion, you’ll never be able to with him placing his entire weight on you like that, and the way he pulls out before impaling you again has you seeing stars in the worst way possible. Desperate for an escape, you grab a chuck of his hair, your nails digging into his scalp before you yank, your jaw throbbing at how tight you clench your teeth in pain and disgust and pure panic. The strength you muster to pull his head up is in vain, because it only jerks his face deeper into your neck, right where your scar trails, and he bites, so hard you’re certain it draws blood. 
Only then does he lift his head up, his upper lip smeared with a smidge of blood, your blood, before he spits right into your mouth. Sick to your stomach at the metallic taste invading your taste buds, you spit right up at him, mindless to the debris falling right back at your face, your mascara running down your cheeks as you sneer up at him. Even as he laughs teasingly at you.
“Don’t worry slut,” He rasps, his nose brushing against yours as his thrusts find a pace, pulling out to the tip before pushing himself fully inside, “It’ll feel good in a minute.” and it does, he feels more of your arousal coating his cock as he snaps his hips against yours, your wails and whimpers slowly yet surely are coated more with lust as you moan out his name. “See tha’, almost too easy…” almost too good to be true.
And it is, because when his eyes struggle to find yours, he is reminded by the feeling that overtook him this entire evening, and when he sees the corner of your lips pull lightly does he want to rip your head right out, but the minute he moves his hand, he is overwhelmed by how wobbly he feels, how your face distorts and misshapes before he is met with the sight of the ceiling, the sight you grew accustomed to when he was taking advantage of your unconsciousness. 
He groans when he feels you impaling yourself on his cock, pussy clenching so tight as you bop yourself up and down his shaft, your tits bouncing with you as he looks up at you, so mesmerized and entranced by your beauty all he does is hold your hips, helping you lift yourself up before dropping you on him, the squelching sound that follows it music to his ears.
You plant your hands against his chest, hips rolling as you pant at his lips, both of you so drunk on the feeling of each other and chasing your highs, “You gonna listen to me, when I ask you to?” His hand claps against your ass at your question, “Yes, yes oh God, anythin’ just don’t stop.” He can’t help but want more of you, want to feel his cock push against you even further, so he plants his feet firm against the bed, hand grabbing handfuls of your ass as he starts thrusting up at you, moaning against your neck when he shoots ropes of his cum inside of your sopping cunt, squeezing him so tight and milking him, and all of what Shinso remembers is the way you arch your back, pressing your chest against his as your whimper out his name, as he feels your juices dripping against his balls and down on the sheets beneath you. After that, all he could see was black.
Shinso awakes startled, eyes darting in alarm before he relaxes when he confirms he’s alone, the red silky sheets now draped over his lower body, pooling at his lap when he sits up to look around once more, desperate for any sign of you. Yet he only sees a brown folder on top of the love seat, impressively thick with the amount of papers stacked inside it, and when Shinso reaches for it, he catches the note that slipped off and draped down on the floor, reading it and scowling at it. ‘You promised you’d listen’
And boy is he more than lucky to listen to you when you asked him to. Because that folder has every tiny little detail he needs to know about The Wise, from the quirks of his circulating bodyguards to the keys to his multiple homes within the world. Pictures upon pictures of the man, decoded letters and basically intel on his entire criminal record.
Fucking finally, Shinso gets to just go home no that everything’s over and done with.
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Limited Edition Sneak Peek:
It is way too early for Shinso, the sun glaring at him as he makes his way into the agency, the honking cars and chattering people feeding into his migraine so early in the morning, and he groans as he pushes his door open, ready to get back to his regular routine after the incident at Vice City.
It hasn’t been even a week, but it sure was eventful, using the folder you left him, Mindjack was able to capture The Wise the very next day, via the map of the routes he takes that was attached in the folder. They were able to ambush him, easily being able to bring the right heroes for the job to overcome the quirks of both his workers and himself. Now the mastermind of Organization XIII was behind bars, making the job of catching the remaining members now much easier.
It almost felt like child’s play, at least, that’s what the heroes made it out to be, flexing their powers and their potential, when they were well aware that all their efforts would’ve been in vain if you and your folder weren't there to aid them in every step.
To say that guilt ate him up is an understatement, he feels himself decaying from the inside out from resentment, he figures he spent too much time in the dark, that it started to mess with him, manipulate him, carve him into someone he isn’t, someone that isn’t fit to be a hero. He feels like was walking into a tunnel with no way out, engulfed and trapped in pure merciless darkness, that ate away at his soul every step he took further in.
Shinso trudges up the stairs with a heavy heart, the dread at what he did to you, especially that your intent to help him didn’t waver despite his actions loomed over him, and he couldn’t remember the last time he felt like he didn’t deserve the life that he’s living in right now. 
Yet, the saying ‘there's a light at the end of the tunnel’ rings in his ear, the minute he opens up the door to his office, eyes widening at the sight before him, smile so dazzlingly sweet, a voice just like silk, weaving around him and entrancing him as the words captivated him despite their simplicity.
“Missed me, Hitoshi?”
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(1) its common in poker for women to be onlookers, like the wives of the players for example, the jab at him being an onlooker is basically just a sexist joke to make the people around the table laugh to ease their mind.
(2) to help gain more perspective about the poker scene you can read the elaboration here
Aaaand more about the reader’s quirk here!
Hope you enjoyed! Also, PLEASE if you could theorize with me after reading the fic I’d love you forever, ask me about the reader’s quirk, ask me about some hidden meanings between the scenes JUST ANYTHING. MWAH
Borrowers (taglist):
@hanji-is-life @anarchicmartyr @sleepykyan @yourprincess-maybe @wolfygirl1900 @tteokdoroki​
@theehoneybunii @nanamisbento​ (not sure if you wanted to be tagged for bakuhoe only of all my fics, so sorry if its the former!)
if you want to be tagged with for any of my fics let me know ♡
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swordgayist · 4 years ago
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cultural appropriation in ATLA (hinduism edition)
i’m sure there’s already a ton of posts about this, but whatever, i’m still making one idc. 
ATLA’s cultural appropriation, everyone knows about it, the white people don’t speak about it, and the asian and indigenous people get ignored. we know the cycle. but i wanted to come here and highlight some of the most prominent examples of ATLA abusing hinduism, as i am kinda sorta hindu (i was raised in a hindu household, i go to chinmaya mission, that kinda shit). i might forget some things so keep that in mind.
this is gonna be divided into 3 main sections, since there are different ways that they disrespect hinduism that i don’t wanna lump together.
and i’d say i know a lot about hinduism but that doesn’t make me an expert, obviously, so if other hindus have anything to add and/or correct then please do !! and if anyone else wants to share how their cultures were appropriated then please do that as well !!
so let’s get started shall we?
appropriating hinduism
1) the avatar
we’ll start with the most obvious example: the avatar itself
i know that there are parts of the avatar mythos that are taken from other cultures as well but the idea of the avatar itself is primarily from hinduism.
basically in hinduism, the term dashavatara refers to the 10 reincarnations of lord vishnu (the god of preservation), with avatar(a) meaning form or incarnation in sanskrit, and das(a) meaning ten. it was said that whenever the world was out of balance, lord vishnu would come down to earth in a certain form to restore balance. Each reincarnation is considered a different life with a different story. the avatars of lord vishnu are often considered the saviors of the world.
so basically, the central idea of the show and the actual name of the show is largely based on hinduism.
2) chakras
many different indian religions have a concept of chakras (chakra meaning wheel or circle in sanskrit), but hinduism is the one that primarily preaches the system of seven chakras, the version used in ATLA.
chakras connect the physical body to the ‘subtle’ body (referring more to the spirit and the psyche) by connecting parts of the body to aspects of the mind. the idea is that through different forms of steady meditation you can manipulate the different chakras and allow the pure flow of energy through the body.
the whole idea of chakras on ATLA is that aang has to unblock them all to let the cosmic energy flow through him so that he can go into the avatar state at will. so yeah, pretty much that whole idea was taken from hinduism.
3) terminologies
these are just a few terms that were taken from hinduism. i’m pretty sure there are more that i can’t think of right now but yeah.
“agni” kai 
i’ll be honest i don’t know where the ‘kai’ part is from, i don’t think it’s from hinduism but if it is well fuck me i guess.  ‘agni’ in hinduism is the god of fire, so the creators used it in ‘agni kai’, the name for a firebending duel.
“bumi”
this is in reference to the hindu word for ‘earth’, which is bhoomi. this is also in reference to our goddess of earth, bhoomi devi. also this doesn’t really bother me but i wonder if the creators knew that bhoomi is a name typically used for women (as are most hindi names ending in ‘i’/‘ee’).
in general, concepts like having multiple complex gods (the spirits) who are capable of good and evil and the reincarnation cycle are prominent in a lot of asian cultures, including (and arguably primarily) hinduism.
mocking hinduism
now we get into the mockery of hinduism in ATLA, because it is very much there.
1) whoever the fuck that baboon guy in the spirit world was
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now what the fuck was this.
i mean i wouldn’t say this is the most egregious example of them making fun of brown people but lord why did this even need to be there? this random guy from the spirit world has an indian accent ? and is fervently chanting ‘om’ for some reason, and it’s clearly meant to be seen as comical. also portraying brown people as monkeys....... really.
2) combustion man/sparky sparky boom man
when rewatching ATLA in 2019 i actually had no idea that this was a thing, because the last time i had watched it was as a kid and i didn’t finish it.
so lord was i in for a surprise when i saw...
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now... now what.
if you didn’t know, combustion man’s ‘third eye’ is designed to replicate the hindu god of destruction, lord shiva. right down to the vibhuti on his forehead (referring to the three line markings around the third eye).
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in hinduism, lord shiva’s third eye is used to reduce people to ashes, though as far as i can recall, not very frequently. the primary significance of the third eye is that it represents the ability of higher spiritual thought and higher consciousness.
the ATLA writers take the ACTUAL significance of the third eye, throw it out the window, and then take its destructive abilities to make a super duper cool and dangerous new firebending technique.
and if that wasn’t bad enough, the actual person who uses this technique, and is meant to emulate a GOD who is PRAISED, is a scary, burly, half metal man who is a villain and an assassin. not to mention the design of his facial hair replicates that super duper scary “terrorist” depiction of brown people, particularly of muslims, that white people are so thoroughly terrified of for no reason. 
this is a parody of a god, and they portrayed him as this terrifying, maniacal fucking assassin who, along with p’li, the combustion bender from LOK, is constantly referred to as a “third-eyed freak”. i’ve made this analogy before and i’ll do it again, this is like making jesus into a hitman.
now onto my favorite example...
3) guru pathik
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ah, this motherfucker.
i don’t really have any problems with him as a character, i mean hell, must’ve taken a fuck ton of patience to handle aang’s “why would choose cosmic energy over katara” bullshit.
but we all know it, we see it plain as day, don’t even try to deny it.
“guru” literally just means teacher or guide, so i don’t really know why pathik needed to be referred to as “guru” so distinctively from aang’s other teachers and guides, but that’s just extremely trivial compared to all the other issues with this character.
first of all what is this character design? what is he even wearing? if they’re trying to replicate the clothes of swamis and priests and stuff this is already wrong, realized people don’t dress like this. and why the fuck does he have an indian accent? and why was this indian accent done by a non indian (brian george)?
once again, the poor but extremely heavy indian accent is clearly meant to be mocking, if it wasn’t, they wouldn’t’ve gone out of their way to get a non indian person to DO an indian accent, and instead they would’ve just gotten an actual indian person to play the role. 
and oh yeah, the onion and banana juice. because hindus just eat weird shit right.
whether it’s actually weird or not, the show certainly portrays it as weird. and as far as i know no hindu actually fucking drinks onion and banana juice.
ironic because brown people can absolutely destroy white people in cooking. but i digress.
i know what you’re all waiting for. because the guru apparently didn’t have enough fun with guru pathik, so they just had to come back to him in book 3:
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where do i begin.
so this is obviously john o’bryan’s super funny and hilarious depiction of pathik as a hindu god.
usually when a god has multiple arms it’s to carry an array of things, from flowers to weapons to instruments, and one hand is typically free to bless devotees (ie. goddess durga and lord vishnu respectively):
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but of course white people see this as weird and so they make fun of it, hence guru pathik having multiple arms just flailing about aimlessly (save for the two that are being used to carry the aforementioned onion and banana juice).
then there’s the whole light behind pathik’s head which is usually depicted in drawings of hindu gods to show that they are celestial.
also what the fuck is he holding? is that supposed to be a veena? because this is what a veena looks like:
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and i assume the reason this was added was to mock the design of goddess saraswathi, who carries a veena:
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but that right there in the picture of pathik looks more like a tambura than a veena. 
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and it also just kinda looks like a banjo?
but i guess the animators just searched up “long indian instrument” and slapped it on there. actually no, that’s giving them too much credit, they probably didn’t search it up at all. 
and then the actual scene is pathik singing crazily about chakras tasting good or something while playing the non-veena and it’s all supposed to be some funky crazy hallucination that aang is having due to sleep deprivation. just some crazy dream, just as crazy as talking appa and momo sparring with swords or tree-ozai coming to life.
our gurus and swamis and sadhus and generally realized people are very respected in hinduism, they’re people we look up to and honor very much. and our GODS are beings that we literally worship. and the writers just take both and make caricatures out of them for other white people to laugh at.
4) other shit
before we move to the next portion i just wanna mention there are also smaller backhanded jabs that i can’t really remember now, but one example was when zuko was all “we’ll be sure to remember that, guru goody goody”. or when a character would meditate and say “om” only when the meditation is supposed to be portrayed as comical or pointless. or in bitter work when sokka was rambling on about karma. small things like that. but moving on.
south asian representation, or lack thereof
now i finally get to the “losing” hinduism part. by this i mean the lack of actual representation there is of south asians (the region where hinduism is primarily practiced) despite the fact that hinduism plays such a big role in the show’s world design.
i think it’s safe to say that broadly the main cast consists of aang, katara, sokka, zuko, toph, azula, iroh, mai, ty lee, and suki. 
a grand total of none of these characters are south asian. the writers don’t even attempt to add any south asian main characters. 
there are characters with dark skin, like haru and jet, but a) they’re not confirmed to be south asian and don’t have any south asian features or south asian names, b) they’re side characters, so they don’t count as representation, and c) even if they were south asian and main characters, jet wouldn’t even count because he’s portrayed as a terrorist.
the ONLY truly south asian character we get is fucking guru pathik. so yeah. not representation.
i don’t get how the creators of this show rip off of hinduism (among many other south asian cultures they rip off of), mock indians, and then don’t even have the decency to HAVE a main character who is south asian.
i’ve never gotten a chance to compile all this, and this definitely isn’t all the creators have done, but i hope this was somewhat informative.
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xbadgerbearx · 3 years ago
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your people will have our help
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word count: 2.1k
Can’t Sleep: [1] … [3]
Of course you had to jump out of the aircraft into the cold water. What a perfect way to start the mission. Your team swam for a bit before wading through the shore as you approached the beach.
"Congratulations, Bloodsport."
"How'd you do it, Waller? There's no soldiers out here on patrol at all."
The beach was completely empty. There were no disturbances and more importantly, no enemies anywhere to be found. It was... peaceful.
"Let's just say they were distracted."
You only walked on the sand a couple feet before a large explosion erupted.
"Control, we have a disturbance south of here," Bloodsport reported after you jumped in surprise.
"It's just a diversion, Bloodsport."
Bloodsport seemed to weigh his options before speaking, "All right, we cut through the jungle to get to Valle Del Mar."
"Don't they have blockades at the city limits?" Peacemaker interjected.
"That's the word."
"How we getting in? Especially with Charlie the Tuna here," Peacemaker said while looking back at King Shark.
"How the hell am I supposed to know?"
"You're the leader. You're supposed to be decisive."
"And I've decided you should eat a big bag of dicks, how's that?"
"You're being facetious, but if this whole beach was completely covered in dicks and somebody said I had to eat every dick until the beach was clean for liberty, I would say no problemo."
"Why would someone put penises all over the beach?" Ratcatcher II asked.
"Who knows why madmen do what they do."
"Chris, this is the second time you've made a comment like this today. Is there something you want to tell us?" You joked.
"Well, you know what I think?" Bloodsport started. "I think liberty is just your excuse to do whatever you want. Whether that's to eat a beach full of dicks or killin' folk."
"Oh, yeah? At least I don't kill men for money like you."
"Oh, here we go," Bloodsport sighed as he turned to face Peacemaker.
"There's something wrong with your skin," Ratcatcher II called out as she pointed to Polka Dot Man. You turned to see his face covered in bulging colorful... polka dots.
"It's just a rash."
"Oh, my- Abner, are you okay? You don't look so good," you said worriedly as you reached your hand out to touch him. You were interrupted by another loud explosion off in the distance.
"Never mind that, we need to continue forward."
You made it quite the distance before Bloodsport dropped his bag onto the ground. The entire time walking you watched Abner with both curiosity and worry.
"Alright, we'll camp here, and tomorrow we'll go straight through the city to get to La Gatita Amable by nightfall."
Everyone was laying out their sleeping equipment, in this case sleeping bags, as you figured out where you should lay yours.
"Why don't you lay over here, (L/n)? I could keep you warm," Chris offered with a laugh.
"Fuck no," you replied with the same humorous energy. "I'd rather you not roll over on me like you did last time."
"Last time?" Abner piped up timidly.
"It's nothing like that," you assured while rolling your eyes. "Me, Chris, and some of our other teammates at the time had to huddle up for warmth after Waller sent us on a mission somewhere in Siberia."
"Oh," Abner said, kind of relieved.
"I'll just put mine here," you placed your bag next to Abner's and DuBois. "It's near the fire."
You changed into your sleep clothes. Well, to be honest you just took off your shirt and slept in your tank top, but it was close enough. It wasn't long before you drifted off, however, you awoke some time later to some shuffling sounds and a quiet groan. Peeking under your lashes, you find yourself facing toward DuBois who was resting on his elbow, alert. You quietly sat up and turned to see what DuBois was looking at. A colorful light show was dancing on the leaves and tall grass. Almost as quickly as it happened, Abner appeared. He looked a little out of it, but quickly dawned a look of shock as he was caught doing... what exactly?
You got up to make sure your favorite awkward man was doing okay before you were cut off by a loud bang! Instinctively, you disappeared. Literally. DuBois kept shooting Nanaue until he was backed up against a tree.
"How deep of a sleeper are you?" DuBois asked Cleo, to which she responded sleepily, "I was having the most wonderful dream."
"If it was you about to be eaten by King Shark, then you're psychic," Chris said.
"I don't believe he would do that. He has very kind eyes."
Sebastian was saying what you could only guess was that Nanaue was, in fact, going to eat her.
"Hungry," Nanaue whined.
"You bastard!"
Rats from every direction emerged from the darkness as Cleo held up her glowing device. DuBois was looking rather uncomfortable.
"All right, calm down with the rats!" he yelled.
"What?"
"I have a thing with rats."
"You have a thing with rats?"
"Yes."
"And you're on a team with someone who controls them?" your disembodied voice asked.
He whipped around trying to find you before yelling, "What the fuck?"
As if suddenly remembering that you cannot be seen, you revealed yourself behind Abner whom you were using as a shield. As cute as he thought it was that you were using him as protection, it did startle him that you just appeared randomly behind him.
"Partnering up with someone with rats is not something I asked for!"
Peacemaker started laughing.
"What are you laughing at me for, man? Why the fuck are you in your underwear?"
You looked over and sure enough, Chris was in nothing but his underwear.
"Woah!" you yelled while burying your face into Abner's back. "Chris, put on some pants for fucks sake!"
"Tighty-whities? Really?"
"Now that's just racist."
"No, it's not racist! They're tighty-whities!"
"You didn't tell me you had a fear of rats, DuBois," Waller said over the comms.
"I'm an assassin! Why would I share my liabilities?" This was promptly followed by an uncharacteristicly girly scream.
"Aww, he's offering you a pretty leaf to show you he means no harm," Cleo cooed.
"Why the fuck would I want a leaf?"
DuBois was getting increasingly more freaked out while Chris started laughing again.
"Just get the rats out of here!"
Cleo turned off her device and all the rats scurried back into the jungle.
Peacemaker turned to DuBois and asked, "Hey, we gonna kill Megalodouche now, or what?"
"Nanaue's the strongest member of your team. You need him to get into Jotunheim."
"Yeah, well we can't function as a team if we gotta watch our back from one of our own eatin' our bollocks," Bloodsport replied.
"Nanaue," Cleo started as she kneeled down to his height. "Would you eat your friends?"
"I no friends."
"You have no friends? Well, if you did, would you eat them?"
Chris answered with a "yes" before he was shot a look from Ratcatcher II.
"No?"
"Then can we be your friends?"
Chris scoffed, "Come on, he's obviously lying."
"If I die 'cause I gambled on love, it will be a worthy death."
DuBois shook his head, "You are a little idiot."
So much for a full rest. It was nearly morning by the time the shark incident was resolved, so you decided to just pack up and dress yourself.
"Task Force X, you have an additional mission directive. We've located Colonel Rick Flag. He's been taken by the enemy."
"Rick Flag?" DuBois asked while your team made your way through the jungle.
"I know, you both served on special forces in Qurac that took down Avral Kaddam. Flag was the one who initially recommended you."
"You had other operatives in Corto Maltese and didn't tell us?"
"There was no tactical advantage, now there is. I've uploaded the location on your MTS. Terminate his captors with extreme prejudice. Kill anyone you see. These are dangerous people. Recover Flag before moving on to the city."
You eventually made it to a decent sized camp before DuBois MTS started beeping.
"That's where they're holding Flag."
"Nothing like a bloodbath to start the day."
"I thought they called you Peacemaker," Ratcatcher II questioned.
"I cherish peace with all my heart. I don't care how many men, women, and children I need to kill to get it."
Ratcatcher II turned to Polka Dot Man before whispering, "I thought you were the crazy one," which was swiftly answered by you lightly shoving her shoulder.
"I am."
"All right," Bloodsport said, getting everyone's attention. "Let's get it."
You and Nanaue crept behind a man who gave his cup to his buddy.
"Gracias," you heard the man say. Soon after, King Shark picked the man up and ate him as he started screaming. He dropped what looked to be a communication device. Nanaue smacked his mouth as the comms device went off.
"Cualquier cosa?"
As your nearby teammates looked in somewhat fear as to what to do, you picked up the dead soldier's comms and said "Nada, Señora" while perfectly mimicking his voice. Your team carried on.
You hastily turned yourself invisible as you scouted for Rick Flag. It took a couple of minutes but you managed to find the only white guy there. You assumed he was Rick since he was injured, but were they... laughing?
"Bloodsport," you whispered into your comms. "I found Rick Flag. He was laughing?" You sounded unsure.
"Most likely drugged," Peacemaker said. "Where's he located?"
"Northmost tent, past the watchtower." Right after you said that you saw a bunch of colorful polka dots disintegrate the watchtower.
"On our way."
You could hear some of your team's conversation as they approached your location. You made yourself visible again.
"I'm sorry it's so... flamboyant."
"It looks cool," you heard Cleo say.
"I don't like to kill people, but if I pretend it's my mom, it's easy."
"TMI, mate," said DuBois.
More laughter could be heard inside the tent as Bloodsport ripped open the tent curtain. An uncomfortable silence settled.
"DuBois?"
"Hey, Flag."
"What the hell are you doing here?"
Bloodsport looked around confused. "Waller told us that you were... uh... are you drinking tea?"
Flag gestured to his female companion sitting across the table from him, "This is Sol Soria, she's the leader of the freedom fighters, the resistance trying to take down the current government. They-they saved my life."
"Oh. Wow."
Everyone put down their weapons.
"Why did my people not alert me of your arrival?"
You awkwardly hide yourself behind Abner again.
"We didn't see any people," Bloodsport swiftly lied.
"Yeah, I didn't see anybody on the way..." Peacemaker continued.
"There's no one out there."
"They were gone when we got here."
"I turned them into my mother in my head and killed them."
Everyone turned to look at Polka Dot Man. You just sighed and smacked his shoulder. To make matters worse, King Shark hacked up... was that a finger with a wedding ring? Sebastian squeaked out an audible "Uh oh."
Soria promptly lunged off the table and made her way outside. You and your team awkwardly stood amongst the destruction you caused while Flag and Soria looked in pain.
"Typical Americans. Just run in, guns blazing."
"I know, this is messed up. These guys, they're..."
Rick looked behind him to see Peacemaker and Bloodsport getting into a stupid cat fight, while Ratcatcher II was rubbing her face ashamed, and you and Polka Dot Man were looking off into the jungle having your own conversation and not even paying attention.
"They're fucking idiots, but right now our objectives aligh with yours. If Jotunheim contains the technology our intelligence says it does, then it could be used on the people of Corto Maltese as well as Americans. That's why we need your help to get into the city so we can stop 'em."
Soria just stared past Flag and asked, "Is that rat waving at me?"
Sure enough, Rick turned back around to see Sebastian waving at them. Cleo was messing with her hands, Chris and DuBois were looking around while tapping their feet, and you were admiring Abner's polka dots on his costume as he was awkwardly trying to accept your compliments.
"It appears it is."
"Why?"
"I'm gonna guess because it's friendly."
Soria thought for a moment, weighing her options, before speaking again.
"Luna and Suarez murdered my entire family. I'd make a deal with the devil to stop them." As if it physically pained her to say, she continued. "Your people will have our help getting to Vall Del Mar to apprehend this Gaius Grieves."
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cleverhyuck · 3 years ago
Note
helloooooo <33 can i request for 10 and 24 + jeno or jaemin ? :3 - anon
a/n : i’m assuming you want smut — sorry this is a little late too !— thank you for your request !! 💘
* smut begins on page divider !!
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-
“don’t test me”
“stop being a bitch”
-
warnings : outdoor sex , degrading , quickie , marking ( hickeys ) , mentions of pregnancy , light choking , creampie , raw ( use protection ^.^ )
wc : royal!au , why is this so long
-
annual balls are a thing. men and women from all over dress up at talk about who knows what. their children mingle around, looking for friends, competitors, significant others, it’s a routine.
in the kingdom, you’ve been going to monthly balls. meeting people of all kinds. some men try to be your husband and some women try to gossip around you.
you don’t mind, of course. the attention is nice, but it’s what you get for being the daughter of the king.
your first encounter with prince!jeno was interesting to say the least. accidentally spitting your drink onto him from laughing at prince chenle’s joke. both of your eyes go wide as you ruined his white blazer with your red fruit punch, splattered all over.
“it looks like he’s been murdered !!” prince chenle points. the other princes; renjun, jaemin, and jisung laugh. prince jeno froze, this has never happened to him ever.
you rush to find napkins ( more like a maid ) and try to clean it. all five of you headed back to the maid quarters to find extra clothes. “i’m sorry” is what you say the whole entire time while cleaning and moving.
in the quarter, prince jeno sends you an eye smile. something about it comforts you, it makes you feel better about what happened.
“seriously princess, don’t worry.” he chuckles and takes off the jacket. some of it is on his button up so he takes that off too, revealing his nice six pack.
your eyes go wide (again) and you can only stare at his chest. prince renjun has to shake you to get your own head out of the gutter. you and prince jeno both blush and you turn away, afraid to make another embarrassing moment.
prince jisung walks next to you and pats your back. “don’t worry princess, at least we all got closer now! let’s drop the formalities.” you look up at him with rosy cheeks and smile.
turning around and holding out a hand you re-introduce yourself. “hi i’m y/n. nice to meet you all.”
over the months you all grew closer together. you met another boy, haechan. he wasn’t at the first party but said he lived it through renjun’s text messages.
you and jeno were especially close. people made dating rumors over you, but you two were just friends.
friends that kiss.
friends that make-out sometimes, friends that have seen each other naked, friends that have snuck out to kiss…
call it friends with benefits, call it being close, jeno preferred to call it “no labels”
even so, jeno was always protective. never letting you talk to another prince for too long, having his hand around your waist most times.
-
as another ball was announced, you decided to have some fun with jeno. a beautiful soft pink dress with a longer than normal thigh slit. the collars of the dress laid on your shoulders, revealing most of your top chest. you looked beautiful. stunning.
this would sure rile him up.
as the guests arrived you welcomed them with hugs and side kisses. once the group arrived, you went for jisung instead of jeno.
pulling him into a hug, you say “i missed you sungie, christ you’ve grown taller too!” you look at him. he smiles and rubs the back of his neck. “thanks noona, but it’s only been a few weeks since i last saw you!”
“a few weeks too long, let’s hang out sometime soon jisung. ride horses on thursday?” you suggest to him. “you bet” he replies.
“ahem.”
turning you see the boys and jeno. “are you guys jealous i didn’t talk to you yet??” you fake whine. chenle shrugs. “why don’t you ask your boyfriend?”
“he’s not my-”
“im not her-”
chenle looks at you both. “yeah, sureeee” before leaving to find other guests. jaemin pats jeno’s back while renjun pats yours.
haechan moves you and jeno closer by your shoulders and shakes his head. “good luck.” is all he says to the both of you before walking past you.
“so..” you say, not making eye contact. jeno eyes you up and down before leaning in close to your ear. “don’t test me, princess”
-
the party is going pretty well. jeno and his stares never leave you though. you dance with haechan most of the time. laughing and giggling over whatever while jeno looks like he’s about to break the champagne glass.
haechan totally understands your want to tease jeno and helps you tremendously with that. it’s not like jeno would take you away from the haechan, right? in the dance, you two start doing every extra moves. the crowd backs up a bit and watches you two.
graceful steps and spins have everyone enticed. as it comes to an end, haechan spins you and lifts one of your legs up, he holds onto your lower thigh, revealing the dangerous slit.
as the crowd applauses, you look over at jeno. i swear to god he has the most evil look on his face u cant even explain.
you smile to yourself and move off of haechan, whispering a slight thank you before heading over to where jeno was standing.
“let’s go.” is all he says before grabbing you, practically yanking you outside.
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* “stop being a bitch” he says as he manhandles you onto a tree.
“i wasn’t being or acting like anything.” you say. he scoffs and yanks the shoulder straps down your elbow, revealing your strapless bra.
“jeno!” you squeal at him. you quickly ㅡ cover your breasts by crossing your arms but he grabs them and holds them behind the tree.
“stop squirming” he says as hestarts kissing over your chest. jeno leaves miscellaneous hickeys all over and the only thing you can do is throw your head back and moan.
“let’s hurry this up.”
pushing up your dress he parts your underwear and pushes two fingers in. you hiss at his urgency but soon you’re dripping down his knuckles.
moans and whimpers erode from you and jeno smiles at that. before you can cum on his fingers he takes them out and pushes them into your mouth.
“suck.”
as you do, he uses his other hand to loosen his pants. pulling out his member, he strokes it. your legs subconsciously move and he takes his fingers out of your mouth.
“you like watching me stroke myself?” jeno questions. you shyly nod. “fuck.” he whispers. “you’re gonna be the death of me.”
as he aligns with your entrance, you are preparing for the girth that is jeno’s cock. he teases at your slit before pushing in.
you immediately clench around him and moan into his ear. he slowly moves back out before sending a deep thrust into you. “harder..please” you whimper in his ear.
you wrap your arms around his neck as he is pistoning inside of you. your boobs jiggle at the harshness of his thrusts and you soon feel close.
“jeno i’m, i-i’m” you mutter out. he understands and goes harder and faster. “you like that?” he leans in your ear.
“you like being treated like a little slut?”
as your eyes go wide the feeling inside of you bursts. you cum on his cock and moan a little too loudly. the tightness inside you causes jeno to cum as well, the spurts of his cum fills your insides.
as he pulls out, jeno kisses your forehead. he helps you clean up and look like you haven’t had the best fuck of your life.
right as you two walk back inside to the party he looks at you.
“you know i love you right?” he asks.
“i love you too jeno.”
send me a prompt!
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keiarchived · 4 years ago
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Can I request Hawks with a very shy darling that is always shying away from him because she’s nervous to talk to him because he’s a stranger, and maybe it’s about how he slowly gains her trust and coaxes her out to his loving arms 🥺
@yanbaere: I’m in love with you blog 🥺 yandere Hawks makes me really soft and I love him,,, can I request some yandere hawks with a shy and insecure s/o? 🥺 he would be so protective and sweet with them and would definitely harm anyone that tries to hurt them or makes them feel bad,,he just hits different when he’s a yandere 👉🏻👈🏻 I adore your blog and your writing! It’s amazing 💕💕
anon: how about a one shot of yandere! Hawks x virgin/! reader ? 👀 I imagine he would be so freaking happy he got to be his s/o’s first time but of course he probably already knew that; he’s a little rough and haz a breeding kink but nothing you can’t handle, right? >;)
Yan Hawks with a shy birdie 🥺 this low-key adorable but also flirty af so like prepare yourself ♥️ Also thank you for the support guys! ♥️
Sorry it took so long 🥺
Yandere!Hawks x Shy!F!Reader
warnings: Yandere, manipulation, possessive, obsessive, breeding kink
words: 1.4k
The moment Keigo laid his eyes on you, he knew you were different. This pure and glowing aura radiating off you is unreal, it’s not often the number two hero let other catch him by the wings. Even rarer for him to be so interested in someone but you... you’re a breath of fresh air.
It was during a Christmas party when he met you, trying to make yourself as small as possible behind your mother. Being the child of a single mother hero meant attention often find its way towards the two of you, with men and women alike wondering how she do it. Raise a kid as well as dedicate herself to being a hero, there honestly are no secrets. Your mother and you function like any other family, sure there will be times where she would come home late and you have to help out a lot more than usual. But you don’t mind, your mother have been working hard for the two of you after all.
Plus it’s not like you’re a child, you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself. Just a little shy and nervous around the edge, nothing Keigo couldn’t help you through. “Hey, glad you could make it.” The winged hero said in his usually layback tone as he greeted your mother, they had worked together on the same mission before and needless to say she is more than impressed by Hawks’ skills. The perfect son in law wouldn’t you say?
As per usual, you hide before your mother as the two heroes continued with their conversation. Catching up with each other whilst chuckles and laughs were heard but of course, Keigo’s eyes were set on you -- like how it had been in the last couple of minutes whilst talking to your mother whilst wondering how he could get you alone. It’s you he wants to talk to after all, as if lady luck is on Keigo’s side today, some other hero waved at your mother and has kindly asked her to come over, perfect. “Honey, why don’t you stay here with Hawks for a moment? I’ll be right back. You wouldn’t mind would you?” 
Oh if only she knew the danger that lurks behind his artificial smile, how this man have already laid his trap to lure you in. “Sure, of course. I don’t mind.” Keigo smiles with teeth rooting sweetness behind those word, before you could even protest, your safety shield has wander off.
There was a moment of awkward silence when you watched your mother’s figure blends into the crowd, greeting her fellow heroes but before you dig deeper into those mindless thoughts Keigo managed to snapped you out of it with a simple chuckle. Was it if ill will or kindness, you don’t know. The only thing you know is how handsome his face is upon a closer look, sandy blonde locks with a few strays among those well swoop back ones and a pair of dangerous looking golden hues to pair with. “What’s your name dove?”
“Y/N...” You were hesitant to give Keigo your name, felt as though you had just signed a contract with the devil himself and rest was history.
It took a while for you to truly open up to the winged hero but surprisingly or unsurprisingly, he was patient. Taking those small but necessary steps in order to make you comfortable, as much as he is obsessed with you, Keigo still put your comfort first above everything. Bring you small gifts that reminds you that he’s there whenever you need him, despite the hours of a day. If it’s for you, he will make it work. Date nights often resulted in spending inside and Keigo is fine with it, movie nights, game nights as long as he get to spend the time with you he is more than happy. Needless to say, your mother is supportive of the relationship with Keigo, how could she not when the perfect son in law present himself as your boyfriend?
He would never hurt you unlike all those other corrupted men, you know that right? As long as you are under his wings, nothing could harm you.
Keigo have been patient, he really have. Only doing whatever you’re comfortable with, soft kisses, caressing those cute flustered cheeks of yours, a hand tracing shapes on your thighs but it was all becoming too much. He wants you.
The thought of you crying out his name in pleasure, body quivering in needs as lewd wet sounds bounces off walls surrounding the two of you is enough to have his own cock grow hard. “Keigo...” Oh, if only you could see the expression you said his name with. So cute but yet alluring, “Princess... if you keep saying my name like that, you’re in trouble.” But you already know that don’t you? The way Keigo have been eyeing you ever since he have you cages beneath him on these soft sheets, golden shimmers with minimal lights, soft kisses soon became desperate and needy.
Your breath soon became unevening as Keigo trails those kisses further and further away from your lips, nibbling and biting hard enough to leave beautiful marks. “Wa-wait! Keigo please...” It wasn’t as if you didn’t want him to take you, in fact is the complete opposite. Everytime the winged hero left you breathless, a shameless patch of dampness gathers between your thighs. “Hm? What is it baby? I’m sorry I-“
“I’m a virgin.” Keigo’s eyes widen slightly, pretending as if he was completely clueless about the news. Sweetheart, Keigo knows every details about you and he is well informed. But the way you said it, cheeks red as his own wings and a slight pout on your lips — the less he could do is give you a reaction you wanted. “We’ll take it slow princess...”
Well at least the beginning he was.
When Keigo finally inches his cock into those throbbing tightnsss, it was surreal. The mere feeling had him tossing his head back in bliss whilst he tries to hold himself back, gritting his teeth until he was balls deep. Peppering you with kisses in order to help you ease up, adjust to the size of his cock stretching your untouched cunt open. “Fuck... you’re doing so good baby...” Keigo would coos, tugging those loose strands of hair behind your ears and away from your forehead before he finally started rutting into you. Those soft moans and whimpers only egged him on, feeling the way your nails dug at the sides and under his wings. God, it was like you wanted him to go wild, to go feral and eventually he did.
Hips snapping against your mound with long deep strokes, hard enough to leave them red even in the morning after as Keigo have you folded into a mating press. Hands gripping firmly on either sides of your ankles, drinking ever last bits of those delicious twists of pleasure from you. “Hm.. you like that?” A lazy grin stretched across his lips, “Like being breed like a bitch in heat even though I just took your virginity?” The mere thought of him being your first and last man, the one to corrupt you is enough to drive Keigo’s little edge further, drilling even deeper into your cunt to leave your body arching in bliss.
“Ke-Keigo no more-!” You have already lost count of the number of orgasm he managed to rip out of you in the last two hours, but you’re damn well sure if Keigo edges you to another, those pretty eyes of yours just might roll back and stay close. “Just one more baby, you can do it for me can’t you? You’ve been doing so well so far princess.” Keigo coos, with the same sweet smile as he pressed a soft kiss to your ankle. Just a little more until he soils you, nothing you can’t handle right?
“Gonna fill you nice and good~” The winged hero promised and he always keep his promises, at least with you. With the last deep thrust meeting your pelvis, Keigo grunts before ropes of cum painted your once virgin walls white. Panting as he collapsed atop of you slowly, letting out a blissful hum.
After a while, Keigo withdraw from you as he watched the way his own seed seeps out of you only to push those back where they belong. “Good girl, you did an amazing job baby.” He coos softly, peppering you with kisses all over.
As Keigo expected, you’re different and he’s glad to call you his own.
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capesandshapes · 4 years ago
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All You Had to Do Was Stay (Post Reveal/ Pre Relationship) (1/4)
Thanks to LNC for the title!
Summary:
Three years ago, Marinette revealed her identity to him. Three years ago, he promised to wait in a hotel room for her. Three years ago, she opened the door to find it empty.
Now she's expected to play nice with him, since she's the maid of honor and he's unfortunately the best man. But old habits die hard, and old feelings die harder.
"This is a wedding, not a death march, Marinette."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things that need to be done before Alya Cesaire could marry Nino Lahiffe:
1. Designs combining both Martinique culture and Réunion style needed to be made for the whole wedding party. Everyone should get to have a say in what they wear.
2. The video of Alya dancing overenthusiastically to the cupid shuffle needed to be removed from Lila Rossi’s Instagram, lest Nino’s nana see and wonder what type of woman he’s marrying.
3. The cake tasting needed to be had. Marinette needed to make sure that her parents didn’t go overboard and keep the couple for the whole night. Even if Alya was practically their daughter. Even if they begged. Even if papa cried.
4. A totally unique and unreplicable combination Bachelor and Bachelorette party needed to be planned.
And, lastly… The most difficult of all:
5. Marinette somehow needed to be able to stand in a room with Nino’s best man, Adrien, and hold a conversation for more than five minutes. Even if, three years ago, he found out her identity, left Paris, and broke her heart.
“Easy,” Marinette groaned, sinking further into her barstool as she closed her notes app, her head touching the counter of the bar. She’d already crossed off the top two of the list items, and yet…
“I’m not asking for a miracle,” Alya began, obviously knowing what she was thinking about. She was the one to ask Marinette out that night, wanting to find out her progress… and also to check in on her wellbeing. It was obvious that she felt bad, she knew how things went between the two and how Marinette originally thought they would go. But she couldn’t just ask Nino not to have Adrien be his best man. “Five minutes, that’s all I’m asking. Just five minutes in a room together. You quickly plan the bachelorette party, since we know that you’re far too organized not to, give him the run down, and then leave. Back to your life, back to doing whatever it is you do now.”
“Sit at home. Alone,” Marinette supplied.
Alya grimaced. “It’s for the best that Luka got married, Marinette. You couldn’t keep playing that game. All that kiss and tell was gonna kill you some day.”
Marinette groaned, somehow sinking further into the wood of the bar. Anymore and she’d become part of the grain.
“Plus, Juleka’s in a better mood with you now,” Alya said, obviously looking at the other young woman as she undoubtedly danced on the floor with Rose. Marinette’s habit of coming back to Paris and making out with her brother had obviously put a strain on their relationship, even if Luka insisted that things weren’t committal and he was totally fine with only seeing her twice a year. “Who knows, maybe Nino will have a handsome cousin and you’ll fall madly in love.”
Marinette raised the side of her head to cast Alya a glare from one eye.
Alya didn’t falter. “So, he’s back. After spending three years in New York, Milan, Hong Kong, and Tokyo. I get it, it’s life changing, it’s world ending, it’s all the things you don’t want and more—especially after how things ended,” Marinette groaned, Alya carried on, “but, you know who else is back? Max, Rose, unfortunately Lila, and Kim. Good old Kim. All your friends, everyone who you’ve known for years, everyone who has missed you as you flitted in and out of Paris! Sure, you found out that Adrien was Chat Noir, went to his hotel room, thought you were finally going to get together, and then opened the door to find it empty—but you know, life happens! And when you least expect it, it keeps going on and on and on and on!”
Marinette turned her face back to the wood.
“I really did try to get Nino to change his mind,” Alya said flatly. “I begged.” Marinette doubted it, but…
“Why couldn’t he just stay in New York?” Marinette mumbled.
“Because Nino is his best friend.”
“Why couldn’t Nino go to New York,” Marinette said, “or Adrien done a zoom call for the wedding.”
Alya snorted. “Okay, that’s it,” she said, grabbing Marinette’s arm. “Adrien’s landing today, nothing’s going to stop it, you just have to clear your head and power on.” She leaned into Marinette’s view as her friend finally turned her head, insistently stating, “you were Ladybug for god’s sake. Even if no one else knows it, you do. I do. You gotta suit up, lovebug, and face the day, lest another evil butterfly come flying by.” Never mind the fact that there hadn’t been an Akuma in years.
Not since Gabriel Agreste was arrested.
Marinette rolled her eyes, finally lifting herself off the bar.
“There’s my girl,” Alya said. “Now, finish your dirty shirley, order another drink, and come do karaoke with me. I’m a hundred percent certain that I saw Say You’ll Be There on the song list, and you know that I’ve been singing Spice Girls since I was in diapers.”
--------------------------
Marinette stumbled into her apartment at one am. Not drunk, she didn’t get drunk, not out in public at bars. In friends’ apartments, maybe. She was still a bit tipsy which was, in its own way, dangerous. But she could fight through it, maybe.
Kicking off her heels, she looked at it, the studio she called home and had once been so proud of a few years back, the same studio she’d lived in ever since she was a fashion design student. The same one in which she’d left Chat knocking on her balcony door when she struggled to stay asleep, and eventually relented to let him in time and time again before he knew who she was.
“Someday, I’m going to move,” she grumbled, beginning to pull the bobby pins from her hair. She wouldn’t, of course, not for a long time. Rent-controlled apartments were rare, and while she pretended that the history that practically stained her hardwood floors was something she would rather forget, she was a nostalgic young woman. She’d be there for at least another five years, or until she was finally well and truly over Chat.
Five years would probably come first.
She passed by the photos washi taped to her walls, the ones where fourteen-year-old kids gave toothy smiles and eighteen-year-old young women gave winks while leaning into blond young men. If she was so concerned about history, she’d have to get rid of those first.
She sighed, finally removing the last bobby pin from her hair and letting it fall down her back, placing the black pin in one of the many bowls around her apartment placed for that very reason. Adrien would be in Paris by then, she was sure. He was probably sound asleep in the Agreste mansion.
“Welcome home, kitty,” she said sarcastically, beginning to climb the steps to her lofted bedroom, a space that was not unlike her childhood room.
This wasn’t how she expected things to be.
Of course, this wasn’t how anyone expected things to be. If you asked anyone, they told you how the story ended. Ladybug and Chat Noir finally got together, they were hiding in Paris somewhere, they were in love. They probably had kids, a dog, a hamster—normal jobs and normal lives. That was what the people of Paris wanted. She thought that that was the ending they would get.
She thought that when she went to the hotel room that night, he would be there. She thought that he was happy to know who she was. She thought that he loved her.
She thought wrong.
Marinette always thought wrong.
She thought she could get over him. She thought making out with Luka was a solution, one that she could keep trying every time she went to Paris. She thought that she would miss Adrien more than Chat, the promise of love more than sitting in her bed and watching subtitled anime while he mouthed the English translations.
By now, she thought she’d be waking up to someone else. That maybe she’d have a steady life, someone to wrap their arms around her in the morning.
Adulthood hits hard.
“Adrien Agreste,” she said, flopping back in her bed and pulling open her phone. She wasn’t above social media stalking.
There he was. Gold hair, tanned skin, too many muscles to know what to do with. Landed in Paris four hours ago, his Instagram posted a picture of him with his arm around Nino. His eyes were still kind, his smile still flawless. Her heart still pounded.
“Jerk,” she muttered, letting her phone fall down beside her. “I didn’t need you anyway,” except for all those times she did. Like when she put the earrings back in the box and said goodbye to one of her closest friends. She could have used him then.
She could have used him a lot of times.
Her eyes stayed glued to the ceiling, her chest rising and falling with every breath. There was no sound, no doting kwami, no laughter from her parents, and no Alya playing with her hair. Just her.
“Now I’m going to see you and fall in love with you all over again,” she said, wishing she could steel herself against the inevitable.
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wildernessuntothemselves · 4 years ago
Text
I’m Yours, You’re Mine | 2
Word Count: 2.6k
Genre: Smut, future angst
Summary:  You’ve always wished to take a more dominant role in bed, but Chan just wasn’t having it. So when you see an opportunity to do just that with Felix, you can’t help yourself. But you soon come to regret your drunken decision for a reason other than that you’d cheated on your boyfriend with his own bestfriend.
Warnings: Cheating, justifying cheating (badly), yandere!felix, sub!felix, dom!reader, reader tries to pressure chan into subbing, felix getting pegged in a kitten maid outfit, excessive use of whore and slut and noona, degradation, felix messy
Gif Credit
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It was a mistake. You had decided. You were both too drunk and horny to think it through and it was best to forget it all.
Felix, however, refused to drop it which really only cemented in your mind that it’s the right decision to stop this thing before it starts. If he’s kicking up this much fuss about it and you’ve barely done anything, what is he gonna do if you got more involved later? No, it’s over and you’d told him as such. You don’t want him and it had been a mistake.
But at night, when you’re all alone with your thoughts after chan had fucked you and gone to sleep, you can’t help but think of the freckled boy and how he had followed your every order so obediently. You touch yourself every night to the memory of it, how good he sounded touching himself for you. It has become a sort of escapism for you, a way to let out your frustrations every time Chan doesn’t let you take the lead.
It pissed you the fuck off, how condescending he’d sound when telling you to ‘stop messing around, babygirl’ as he proceeds to pin you down and fuck you from behind. Still, you keep trying because maybe if he’d let you have this, you wouldn’t run to other men to satisfy your needs.
"Baby, take a look at this." You call out to Chan who was sitting on the chair next to you, turning your laptop screen towards him so he'd see the costume you were looking at, a cat maid outfit for men. He scrunches his nose at it and laughs, "That's certainly something."
"You don't like it?" You pout and he looks at you incredulously. "You do?" 
"I don't know.” You shrug, once again feeling ridiculed. It’s not like you haven’t worn a schoolgirl or a sexy nurse outfit for him before when he’d asked. “I just think you'd look cute in it. And with halloween coming up and everything--"
"I’m gonna stop you right there, baby. Absolutely not."
"Why not?" You whine like a child.
"Because it's embarrassing!"
"But it's halloween, it’s supposed to be crazy. No one will care, they might even like it. I’d really like it.." 
"No. Pick something else." He deadpans but you keep pushing. "But I want this!"
Chan gets off his chair and sits on the couch next to you, grabbing your jaw and pulling you close to his face. “Baby, I’m a man, not a toy for you to play with and dress up as you please. You never mentioned any of this stuff before and you can’t just drop this on me now and expect me to do what you please.” 
“But why can’t you at least try?” 
“I’m not interested.” He answers slowly, emphasizing every word. "Now stop pressing or I'll put your pretty little mouth to better use."
____________________
You’re standing alone in a corner, nursing your drink as you watch the party-goers mingle and have fun, when you suddenly feel someone wrap their arms around you and press up their body against your back. You don’t flinch, already knowing who it is. 
“Hey, baby, wanna go out for a bite?” The stupid pickup line only serves to make you more annoyed at the boy behind you and you wince as he digs his fake fangs into the skin of your shoulder. Shrugging the man off, you turn to face him. “I thought strong women made you flaccid.” 
The sour smile on his face only lasts for a second before it turns patronizing. “That’s not true. I was very into Kim Possible.” He cups your cheek and leans down close to your face, his nose touching yours. “But I’d fuck Shego too.” 
You push his hand away and step back, stopping the kiss he was going for. “Sorry, but this Shego isn’t interested in getting fucked.”
Chan rests his hands on his hips and lets out a heavy sigh. “How long are you gonna stay mad at that?”
“How long is your fragile masculinity gonna keep you from satisfying your girlfriend in bed?” 
He steps towards you angrily, getting all up in your face again. “Don’t you dare! I always make you cum.”
“So? I can make myself cum just fine on my own. But what I actually want from you, you’re not giving to me.” 
“You’re fucking unbelievable.” He yells, face turning red as he prepares to launch into his own angry rant when something catches his eyes and he bursts out laughing. “Oh, for fucks sake.”
You look at him in confusion and he grabs you by the shoulders and turns you around.  “Take a look at Felix, honey.” He murmurs sardonically.
With narrowed eyes, you search for the blonde among the crowd of people gathered at your apartment, wondering why Chan was stopping your oh-so-important argument for this. But when your eyes land on him, they blow wide open. Felix is dressed in the exact outfit you’d shown Chan wished earlier, complete with the cat eats and the little bell around his neck. He looked perfect. 
“Look at how ridiculous he looks.” Chan’s voice cuts into your thoughts as he leans down to jeer in your ear. "And you wanted me to look like that. Hey, maybe Lix will bend over and let you fuck him if you ask." 
He says it with the most sarcasm and contempt he can muster before shoving you a little bit forward and walking off. But it’s far from a joke to you. There is nothing funny about the gorgeous boy looking like he just came out of your wildest dreams. 
With anger and lust mixing dangerously in your veins, you march straight to Felix, and without even greeting him, you grab him by the arm and pull him into the bathroom that was further into the apartment and lock the both of you inside. 
Pushing him against the sink, you grab his hair and force him to look at himself in the mirror. "What is the meaning of this?"
“Noona?” He wonders uneasily, playing innocent. 
“How the fuck did you get this?” 
“I found it on the internet, noona.” 
“Oh, you found it, huh?” You scoff, running your hand over the black and white outfit. “You just happened to find the exact same costume I was showing to Chan a few weeks back?” 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, noona.” He stares at your reflection through his lashes, doing his best to look meek and clueless. Growling, you shove your hand between his legs, grabbing at his half-hard dick and making him squeal. 
“Oh, you don’t, do you? You’re such a fucking whore, Felix.” He moans, bucking his hip into your hand. "You know I belong to your hyung and you're just gonna betray him like that?"
He shakes his head earnestly, "No, noona. I’m not trying to."
"Don't lie. Little whore only thinks with his cock." You hiss, letting your other hand fall from his hair to his chest, your fingers roughly pulling at his nipples through the thin fabric covering them. 
“Ah--fuck--noona!” He cries, thrusting his dick against your hand more and more. "I'm a good boy. You know that noona."
“Then what is is?” You pull his skirt up to clearly show his now fully hard dick straining against the panties he’s wearing. And when you do, you stop in your tracks. 
"Are those my panties?" You shriek, pushing him flat over the marble countertop and flipping the skirt over his ass so you can see the black panties more clearly. “You fucking creep!”
You hook your thumbs under the waistband and yank the panties down, getting even more of a shock when you see what he has under them. 
"Shit." You breathe, momentarily forgetting all about the panties as you stare at the pink butt plug wedged snuggly in his ass. When you reach out and tap the base of it, Felix's legs buckle. “Is this part of the costume too?”
He stays quiet, burying his face into his arms and you scoff. "God, you're such a slut." You grab the plug and pull it back, only to slam it back in all at once. His scream is muffled against his arms but he eagerly pushes his hips back into you. 
You take a few seconds to get your breathing under control. Once again you can’t believe what is in front of you. You’ve only dreamt about something like this before, but here is Felix giving it all to you without you even asking. How can you resist?
"Don't move." You hiss in his ear, ignoring his little moan of protest as you pull away and step out of the bathroom.
You get what you want from your room as fast as you possibly can before going back to the bathroom and finding that Felix has actually not stayed still, and is now standing up and nervously fiddling with his fingers.
"Didn't I say to not move?"
"I was afraid someone would come in." He mumbles.
“Afraid people will find out what a whore you are, you mean.” You step in and lock the door behind you before you before you show him what you have in the box you just retrieved. 
You smile at his gasp when he sees you pull out the strap you own, the one you never even got to show to Chan before. Cocking your head to the side, you stare at the shaking boy. “You’ll let me fuck you, won’t you, Lixie?” 
He nods before you even finish your question. “Of course, noona. You can do whatever you want to me.” 
You smirk like you expected nothing less than that, but in reality you were riding high off of the fact that he so easily gave into you without you even needing to coax him. It made you wanna give him everything he asks for. 
But Felix’s enthusiasm is dampened a little when he sees you putting the strap-on over your costume. Pouting, he asks you, “You’re not gonna take anything off, noona?”
"I don't need to take anything off to fuck you." You reply simply and he lets out an insolent whine. “But I wanna see your body. I never got to see it up-close.” 
Your face turns hard and Felix takes a moment to realize the implication of what he just said. “So you’re saying you’ve seen my body before? Have you been spying on me too, you little shit?” 
He stays quiet, staring at the floor. 
“You’re such a fucking pervert. I ought to tell Chan about all of this.” You push him around to face the mirror again and press his body against the countertop. “The outfit. The panties. The spying.” You grit, taking the butt plug out of his ass and running your fingertips up and down his open hole.
“No, please don’t tell him.” He whimpers, face pressed against the cool marble. 
“Why shouldn’t I? He should know what his precious friend is up to behind his back.” You squeeze some lube over your fingers before you push one inside of him. It goes in easily so you add the second one right away, pressing down as you pump your fingers in and out of his ass.
“Nghh--noona--noona!” He squirms under you, hands grasping to find any purchase over the smooth countertop. “Please, fuck me.”
You can’t really deny him for long, already feeling like you could cream your panties just watching him break down under you. As you push the didlo in, he lets out a loud keen that turns into heavy panting as you start rocking your hips into his. 
“Thank you, noona.” His voice is garbled and you pull him up by the hair to make him stand up so you can look at his face while you fuck him. He looks like an absolute mess of drool and flushed cheeks, his dick leaking little drops on the floor. 
"What a tiny dick you have, Lixie.” You can't help but stare at it and the leather garter belt he has around his thigh with a metallic heart looped in it. Wrapping your hand his wet dick, you start pumping it as you thrust into his ass. “No wonder you can't dom a girl. I probably have a bigger dick than yours."
“I’m sorry, n-noona. Please use me--ahh--however you want.” He sobs, barely able to hold himself up in your arms. 
“Use you for what? You’re a complete mess. You wouldn’t be able to satisfy me even if you tried.” You fuck him harder, quickening the pace of your strokes on his twitching dick and shivering at the sounds that fill up the room, from the snap of your hips against his ass, to the slick sound of you jerking him off, to the whiny moans he's letting loose to the tune of the bell in his choker. “But it’s okay, I’ll just think about this when Channie is fucking my brains out tonight.” 
Suddenly his face changes, taking on a dark and sinister hue that makes goosebumps erupt across your skin. But you can’t let him intimidate you. If you can’t even dom Felix then Chan is right not to take you seriously. Besides, if you want to keep this going, you have to have him under a tight leash or else he’ll go rogue and expose the both of you. 
"What? You have something to say?" You challenge, but he stays quiet, his lips curled into a mean sneer. "You're just a toy for me and if you want me to keep playing with you, you need to learn your place. Is that understood?"
But Felix doesn’t respond, continuing to stare you down through the mirror. 
“You want me to leave you high and dry like last time? Because that’s what you’ll get if you don’t back down, kitten.” You warn him, your thrusts turning from fast and hard to slow and deep, and your grip on his cock tightening. “Come on, who is my good boy?” 
Finally, he relents, throwing his head back over your shoulder and moaning out, “I am, noona.” 
“Prove it or else I’ll have no use for you.” You smatter stinging kisses all over the side of his neck in retaliation for taking so long, and you feel him gulping under your lips. "Come on, little slut, squirt out that cum for me." 
“Yes, noona, just need a little more.” He grunts obediently, thrusting his cock up into your closed fist in time with your own thrusts into his ass. "Aahh--noona--fuck---noona!" His hands reach back and his fingers dig into your flesh as he cums, using his hold on you to keep standing upright.
“That’s it. That’s it.” You coo, taking a bit too long before you stop touching him, letting him suffer the pain of overstimulation for a minute, his eyes blown wide as his mouth hangs open as he stares at you with glazed over eyes in the mirror, his cum dripping down your hand and making a small puddle on the floor under you. 
“You’ll keep being a good boy, won’t you, Lixie?” You press a soft kiss under his ear that makes him shiver. Letting the tension out of his body, he relaxes back into your arms and closes his eyes. 
“Yes, Noona.” 
____________
A/N: next chapter is using one of those remote control vibrators on lixie in public uwu oh and making him watch chan fuck reader :))))) 
feedback keeps me going and makes me upload faster like this :))))
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xjoonchildx · 4 years ago
Text
last call | jjk x reader
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pairing: jungkook x reader
rating: 18+
word count: 4.4K
synopsis: jeon jungkook is the hottest bartender in the city. everyone has their sights set on him, but it seems he has his sights set on you.
warnings: oral (female receiving), protected sex, jungkook thirst, excessive jungkook thirst, hello we’re talking about jungkook here -- there is a jungkook-sized amount of thirst, unsanitary use of a space designated for food and beverage
A/N: this fic is a commission for the @ficswithluv​ special project “Changes with Luv”. The awesome @dee-ehn​ made a donation to BLM for this fic and she asked for sexy times with long-haired JK with tattoos and dammit that’s what she’s gonna get.  Thanks so much for making the donation, this is a cool way for authors like me to pitch in for an important cause!
*********************
Jeon Jungkook is the sexiest man in this city.
That’s not a matter of opinion, that’s an actual fact -- voted into law by you and the rest of the Council of The Thirsty after a night of downing shots at The Black Swan.  The four of you piled into the bar’s single-stall restroom to check lipstick and chat shit and it was decided, that was that.
The Black Swan is open long after the other nearby bars and restaurants have locked up for the night. After the tables have been cleared and the tips have been counted, it’s where just about everyone who works in the service industry in this part of town ends up for a post-shift nightcap. They’re drawn by the late hours and the strong drinks and, well --
Jeon Jungkook.
On any given night, his bar is packed with flirts -- men and women alike -- all hoping for just a taste of his attention.  You can’t blame them, really.  It’s far too easy to get lost in Jungkook’s massive, dark eyes, or that slow, confident smile.  And it’s far too hard to look away when he tucks an errant strand of inky hair behind his ear or when he rolls his sleeves up to reveal those toned forearms covered with tattoos.
Jungkook works his bar with the confidence of a man who understands his magnetism, a man who understands why people get sucked into his orbit and never want to leave. 
Suckers just like you.
*************************
Jägermeister is totally fucking disgusting and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
You’ve just bellied up to the bar to grab a drink when Jeon Jungkook drops a shot of the foul shit right in front of you.  The look you give him is equal parts confused and revolted.
“What’s this?” 
“Oh, come on,” he teases with a smile, “You work at a bar.  Don’t tell me you don’t recognize a shot of Jäger.”
“Oh, I recognize it,” you tease back. “I just refuse to acknowledge it.  Who sent this to me?”
Jungkook narrows his eyes playfully, pulls another shot glass from under the bar and pours himself a shot of the dark, thick liqueur.
He holds it up in the air and waits for you to do the same.
“I did.”
Your eyebrows shoot sky-high in surprise.  Jeon Jungkook buying you a shot? 
You’re probably just in the right place at the right time, you reason. The lucky recipient of a free drink because he’s in the mood to get one, too.  
Or unlucky, you correct yourself -- looking down at the glass.  But one more look at Jungkook and you know there’s no way you’re going to refuse the offering.  
You’re picky, but you’re damned sure not stupid.
You raise your shot glass in the air and Jungkook looks pleased.
“Bottoms up,” he says, eyes twinkling.
***********************
Something strange happens a few nights later.  
You’re seated at a high-top near the bar with your girlfriends when you hear Jungkook call something out across the room.  Your friends freeze, wide eyes and shocked stares focused on you for one awkward moment.
He says it again, this time louder -- and there’s no mistaking it.
It’s your name.
You ignore the frantic whispering of your girlfriends and stand up from your seat at the high-top to approach Jungkook’s bar.  He’s leaned over it, hands bracing the dark wood -- pen tucked neatly behind his ear.  His long dark hair is pulled back into a glossy knot, but one lock has fallen into his eyes.  
He looks insanely good -- but honestly, what’s new?
You clear your throat before you approach so you don’t croak your way through whatever comes next.  Spine straight, you get close, slide into a barstool and do your best to appear casual.
“What’s up?” 
“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna threaten you with any more shots of Jäger,” he laughs, flashing his million-watt smile.  You smile back, hoping he can’t hear the holy shits and what the fucks flying at the table behind you.  “I’ve got something else for you tonight.”
“Okay,” you breathe, dazzled by the personal attention he’s bestowing on you.  “What’s on the menu?”
Jungkook reaches for two fresh shot glasses and pulls a heavy amber bottle from the well behind his bar.
“Grand Marnier,” you answer for him, watching as he pours you both a shot.  “An upgrade from Jäger, that’s for sure,” you tease.
He laughs, the corners of his eyes crinkling in the most goddamned adorable way possible.  “I figured this might be more your speed.”
Figured how? As far as you know, he doesn’t know a thing about you -- apart from the fact that you usually drink a vodka tonic.
And your name, apparently.  How does he know your name, anyway?
“Cheers,” he says in that low, sexy voice, and you shiver.
“Cheers,” you agree, tongue swiping at the taste of the sweet liqueur on your lips.  
Jungkook’s eyes darken for a split-second and heat creeps up your neck.
“So, um -- how do you know my name?”
You can thank the alcohol for giving you the courage to ask.  Sober you wouldn’t be nearly so forward.
Jungkook shrugs.  “I’ve seen it on your credit card.”
“Ah,” you smile.  “Well, thanks, again.  Next time, I’ll be the one buying, okay?”
“Yeah, sure,” he grins.
But as you’re walking back to your table something dawns on you.  
You turn and head back to the bar.
“Hold on a second,” you say, eyes narrowed at Jungkook.  “I’ve never paid with a credit card here.  I always pay my tab in cash.”
“Hmmm,” he murmurs -- and fuck if the slow smile that spreads across his features doesn’t make your panties wet right then and there.  
“Is that right?”
**************************
“Jeon Jungkook wants to fuck you.”
“For the love of God, Tifa,” you hiss, ducking your head.  “Keep your voice down.  Jungkook and every last one of his ancestors can hear you when you’re talking that loud.”
Tifa shrugs, unbothered.
“I said what I said,” she sniffs, checking for non-existent dirt under her nails.  “You see any of us getting free shots from The Golden One? Or any of the other women in here, for that matter?”
Well, she’s kind of got a point there, doesn’t she?
You have no idea why you seem to have captured Jeon Jungkook’s attention, but you’re not going to question it, that’s for sure. You’re going to enjoy your good fortune while it lasts.
“He’s being nice,” you argue, and even you aren’t buying it the second the lame deflection comes out of your mouth.  Tifa rolls her eyes.
“You know what else would be nice? Getting dicked down by the hottest man in town.  Wouldn’t that be nice?”
You sigh.  
It would be, actually.  The part of your brain that entertains such outlandish fantasies has been working overtime these days, imagining exactly what that would be like.  Imagining the body that lies underneath that sinfully fitted shirt and the almost-too-tight-but-not-quite jeans.  
Jungkook certainly walks and talks and moves like a man who knows exactly what he’s doing in bed.  You’d love nothing more than to know if there’s any truth to that theory.
You chance a glance over your shoulder, back to the bar -- and Jungkook is deep in conversation with a patron.  She’s leaning over the bar, practically throwing herself at the man, but he looks away from her to catch sight of you.  His picture-perfect face breaks into a wide smile and you break into a sweat.
“See what I mean?” Tifa asks, brow raised when you turn back to face her.  “The man is trying to fuck you.  I’ll be right here after he does, waiting to say I told you so.”
You sputter a laugh into the rim of your glass.
“We’ll see about that, T.”
*************************
Nothing ruins the end of a night of drinking quite like last call.
All the fun screeches to a halt when the house lights come on.  No one looks good under the harsh fluorescents that hum to life as tabs are being paid and drinks are being slammed and tables are being wiped -- no one.
Well, no one except for Jeon Jungkook, of course.
He’s in the weeds tonight -- trying to settle tabs for at least twenty people all trying to cash out at the same time.  He nods in your direction to confirm he’s seen you, that he’ll get to you -- that eventually you’ll get your chance to pay.
So you wait.  And wait.
The crowd starts to thin as Jungkook closes tabs at top speed -- tip jar flush with obscene amounts of cash.  No one tips better than people who make a living on them -- and tonight is no exception.  From what you can tell it’s been a good night for Jungkook.  
Hell, every night is probably a good night when you’re Jeon Jungkook.
You sip what’s left of your vodka tonic and scroll through your phone while you patiently wait for your turn -- then promptly lose track of time.
How long have you been sitting here? 
It’s only when your ears pick up on the echo in this place that you look up from the screen.  Jungkook is cashing some guy out -- and as you take a look around you realize this guy must be the last person in this place. 
Correction -- you are the last person in this place, or at least you will be in about thirty seconds. 
Your pulse picks up as Jungkook wraps the transaction and sends the guy out the door with a friendly wave.  You’re definitely the only two people left in The Black Swan now, no doubt.
“So uh -- ” you drag the sound out on a nervous breath, “ -- I still need to pay my tab.”
Jungkook flips the house lights back off before sauntering to your end of the bar, wearing his most dangerous smile. He dries his hands with the towel at his waist then sets it aside.
“Your tab was paid hours ago.”
Oh.
“Because you paid it,” you say slowly, forcing yourself to drag your eyes from the man’s muscled thighs and trim waist to his flawless face.  Your heart stops a bit at the smirk you find when you finally get there.
“Yup.”
You grab for what’s left of your vodka tonic and slug it down.  
Jungkook laughs.
“You want me,” he says, fingers working the top buttons of his fitted shirt open.  You watch with wide eyes, so distracted by the action that you barely process what he’s said.
“Wait, what?” you ask in a daze.
“You want me,” he repeats casually, like it’s no big deal.  His fingers stop only a few buttons down, the tease -- but he chooses that same moment to pull his hair out of the loose knot he’s been wearing all night.  The dark strands fall into his face and you stare like a moron.
“What makes you say that?” you ask, weakly.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Jungkook teases.  “My vision is 20/20.  My hearing is pretty good, too -- though it would be pretty hard not to overhear the things you and your friends say about me.”
Dammit, Tifa, I told you to keep your voice down.
“Yikes,” you murmur on a shaky laugh.  “That’s embarrassing.”
“Doesn’t have to be,” he says with no hesitation.  “‘Cause I want you, too.”
You pull back from the bar so far, your stool nearly tips over. Jungkook waits for you to right yourself in amused silence.  Then he waits for you to speak.
“I’m, I  -- “ you sputter, searching for things like words and thoughts.  Jungkook’s brows lift as he awaits whatever is on the other end of that sentence.  “ -- I think I need another drink.”
Jungkook winks before reaching down to pull glasses from under the bar.  He sets a brown bottle with a familiar orange label down beside them.  You hold your breath when you see him walk out from behind the bar to slide into the stool next to yours.
“Fireball,” you say thickly, watching him pour the cinnamon liqueur into the shot glasses.  He nods, handing you your glass.
“Think this will help?” he asks, smiling wickedly.  
“No way to know but to do it,” you smile back.
You clink the glasses together before draining them.
You can almost feel the alcohol working its way through your veins.  The warm burn of it starts in your throat, slides low into your belly and spreads out through your arms and legs.  
“Think that did the trick?” he asks in a low voice, dark eyes fixed on your every move.  He leans closer.
“I don’t know,” you admit. He’s close enough now you can smell the warm cinnamon on his breath.  Between the booze and the hormones, you’re starting to feel a little reckless.  “That depends.  Are you trying to fuck me in this bar?”
“Absolutely,” Jungkook deadpans.  You suck in a breath.
“Then I think we’ll probably need one more.”
Jungkook chuckles as he refills your glasses.  His eyes glint with unconcealed mischief when you knock the second round back.  This time, the warmth that spreads down your throat seems to pool between your thighs.
You dip the pad of one finger into the remnants left in the shotglass, emboldened by the buzz you can feel coming on.  Jungkook watches rapt as you slip it between your lips.  You are weightless and shameless by now, more than prepared for the moment he slips two fingers under your jaw to tip your mouth up towards his.  
He tastes like the pleasant spice in the alcohol and he smells like sweat and bodywash and your senses are overwhelmed.  Your fingers dive right into his hair, desperate to feel the silky strands between your fingertips.
“Fireball was a good idea,” Jungkook groans between kisses, hands going to your back to pull you close.  You stand out of your barstool to position yourself between his thighs.  “I like the way you think.”
He pulls away to tug at the hem of your shirt. 
“Take this off,” he orders with a quiet authority that makes you desperate to comply. His eyes are heavy-lidded; glued to the nipples pebbling underneath the thin cotton.  You cross your arms across your body and lift the shirt over your head.
Jungkook doesn’t bother to take your bra off.  You jolt with surprise when he surges forward, mouth seeking the skin peeking out of the soft cups.  He plants hot, open-mouthed kisses across the heated flesh before leaning low to graze the outline of one nipple.  You jerk at the sensation -- at the way his lips and tongue and teeth make the fabric rub against the straining buds.
“Oh, God,” you hiss, “That feels good.”
Jungkook pushes the straps of your bra off your shoulders, eyes dark and focused when your breasts spill out of the cups and your nipples are exposed to the cool air in the bar.  You shudder.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, touching his tongue to your nipples now without a barrier.  You allow yourself to run your fingers through his hair again, anchoring yourself to him to keep steady in the onslaught.
It’s bad manners that you haven’t pulled yourself together enough to thank him for the compliment, but how can you be expected to think straight when his teeth are scraping against your nipples? 
Jungkook pauses to look up at you -- eyes smoldering, lips swollen with use -- and you squirm in his hold.  “You should take these jeans off,” he whispers, fingers slipping into the belt loops. He tugs at them gently. “I wouldn’t want them to get wet.”
Oh honey -- that ship has sailed.
You nod slowly and Jungkook leans back in his stool, eyes hooded as you unbutton the denim, slide it down your legs and step out of it.  
“You gonna take any clothes off, or am I the only one stripping tonight?” you tease, shivering at the loss of his body heat. 
A slow smile spreads over his face. “We’re getting to that, I promise.”
He reaches across the bar for the bottle of Fireball and your mouth falls open in surprise.
“Wait, are you gonna -- “
“Yeah,” he cuts in, dripping the cool liquid onto your breast.  His lips swipe at the liqueur that spills over your nipple and you groan out loud.  “I own this bar,” he teases, his warm tongue a stark contrast to the cold alcohol.  “I can do whatever I want in here.”
You certainly can.
He drips more of the liquid onto a nipple and watches with satisfaction as it slides down your skin.  He laps at the cinnamon taste as his hands roam the sensitive skin of your stomach and down to the band of your panties.  Your breath hitches in your chest.
“I can do whatever I want on here, too,” he smirks, nodding at the bar.  You laugh.
“You’re the boss, right?”
“Exactly,” Jungkook winks, before his hands drop to your waist. His grip is firm as he helps lift you on to the bartop. 
You brace your hands against the wood and watch as he slips his fingers under the satin seam of your panties.  In this position, you have a front-row seat to what is sure to be the hottest sexual experience of your life.  Jungkook’s brows knit in concentration and his tongue swipes across his lips as he pulls your soaking panties away from your legs.  The sight of him preparing to debauch you on top of his bar alone could make you come.
He steadies you with firm hands to either side of your hips before dipping his head down to test your taste with a light flick of his tongue.  You buck in his grasp and he muffles his laughter against the sensitive skin of your inner thigh.  “You’re not allowed to fall off of my bar,” he teases.  “Agreed?”
“Agreed,” you laugh, fingertips gripping the bartop for dear life.  
Jungkook pulls his mouth away from your aching center and you damned near whine at the loss of his warmth.  But in a split-second he’s back, and so is the Fireball.  
“Just a little,” he rasps, tipping the bottle to the side.  You hiss as the frigid liquid seeps down into the crux of your thighs.  Jungkook purses his lips and blows a puff of air against you, sparking an intense tingling sensation and earning a loud whimper.  He’s satisfied with your response, if the look on his face is any indication  --  but his wicked smile disappears from view when he lowers his mouth to your center again.
“Fuck,” you gasp, head dropping back between your shoulders. “God, that feels good.”
“Tell me what it feels like,” he whispers, slipping one long, calloused finger into your channel.  The added sensation makes you whine when he swipes his tongue against your clit.  
“Like --,” you gasp and try again to formulate a thought. “Like fire and ice.”
He hums his approval of that assessment right into your cunt and you nearly break your promise not to fall off his bar.  Your arms are shaking with the same tension that is building between your legs. Jungkook pulls back to drip more of the Fireball onto your sensitive center and you shudder.
The alcohol burns a bit, a pleasant pain that is somehow heightened by Jungkook’s warm, wet mouth.  He doesn’t rush, seemingly content to take his time as you slowly come undone. 
“I’m so close,” you whimper, elbows threatening to buckle underneath you.  Jungkook finally picks up the pace, tonguing you deep as your thighs tighten in anticipation.
“I can feel how bad you want to come, sweetheart,” he goads, finger crooking inside of you, stimulating that spot that makes you feel like you can’t see straight.  “Do it.”
The moans Jungkook pulls from you in those final seconds are made all the more obscene by the echoing inside this empty bar.  Every muscle in your body tightens and then melts as your orgasm hits with the intensity of a freight train.  Jungkook seals his mouth over your cunt to capture the wetness he’s earned, prolonging the sensations, prolonging your moans. 
It takes a moment for the roar in your ears to subside, for your ability to focus to return.  When you can hear and see and think again, you look back down to the space between your thighs and find Jungkook wearing a look of utter satisfaction.
“Believe it or not, that’s the first time I’ve eaten pussy on top of my bar,” he teases, dimples emerging as his lips quirk into a smile.  “How has your service been tonight?”
“Pretty good,” you taunt, a lot ballsier with a few shots and an orgasm under your belt.  “Would be a hell of a lot better if my bartender would take his clothes off.”
Jungkook feigns a wounded look as his fingers work the rest of the buttons on his shirt open to reveal a tight white tank underneath.  He pulls that overhead and reveals the body you’ve been fantasizing about for so long.  Whatever you’d imagined was lying underneath those clothes pales in comparison to the real thing.  His body looks cut from stone, his smooth skin the perfect canvas for the tattoos that run across his arms and onto his chest.
“Better now?” he chuckles.
“Not yet,” you say, savoring the power of your position on the bar.  You watch his one-woman striptease with the hint of a smile on your lips.  “The jeans have to go.”
“Bossy,” he mocks, fingers unbuttoning the dark denim.  Your jaw drops about the same time the jeans do.
“Well,” you laugh, slipping down off of the bar to stand in front of him.  “Your review has just improved.”
He smiles into the kiss you plant on him as your fingers snake between you to wrap around his cock.  He thrusts firmly into the tight grasp of your fingers as his tongue delves deep into your mouth.  He sucks in a breath when your thumb teases as the moisture gathered at the tip of his cock.
“My cock is gonna explode if I don’t bury it between those thighs,” Jungkook groans and you shudder from head to toe.  “Turn around for me.”
You do as you're told, turning away from him to brace your weight against the bartop.  You can see Jungkook’s reflection in the mirror that lines the back wall of the bar.  You watch as he grabs a condom from the back pocket of his jeans and makes quick work of rolling it down his thick length.
He presses the length of his warm body against yours, and you tense when the blunt head of his cock teases your entrance.  One hand lines up his cock and the other grips the soft skin of your hip.  He looks at you in the reflection of the mirror and your knees almost give out when he leans down to whisper in your ear.
“Let me in, sweetheart.”
You arch back just as he sinks inside -- going to the hilt in one firm stroke.  
“Shit,” he groans between gritted teeth. “Fuck, that’s a tight fit.”
“Oh, God --” you gasp as he begins to rock against you.  After a few languid strokes he sets a steady rhythm, hips smacking against your ass with the force of his thrusts.
He leans over you, bracketing you in with one arm braced on the bar while the other helps guide your hip.  Your eyes fall closed and your head drops forward as you push back against him, rendered boneless by the thick slide of his cock.  The sound of his skin slapping against yours echoes loud in the empty bar.
Jungkook leans down to take your earlobe between his teeth and you whimper.
“Look at me,” he orders in a whisper.  “Open your eyes.”
Your eyes snap open to find Jungkook’s reflection and the sight nearly makes you come undone for a second time.  His damp hair is falling into his face, body covered in a sheen of sweat and his mouth is curled into a dangerous smile.
“That’s it,” he murmurs when your eyes meet in the mirror.  “I want you to see how good you’re getting fucked.”
Your rhythm falters at his provocation but Jungkook refuses to let either of you get off track.  He drops both hands to your hips and begins pounding into you with relentless strokes, huffing a laugh when you squeak in response.
“Just like that, sweetheart,” he groans, thrusts going frantic.  “Can you come for me again?”
You nod -- completely out of words -- reaching one hand down to the aching button between your thighs.  Jungkook pulls your body back against his, angling deeper into your aching cunt at the same time your shaking fingers manage to apply a light pressure to your clit.  
That’s all it takes.
You come apart a second later and Jungkook pulls your hair back to expose the column of your throat as he rides you through it.  His teeth scrape against the sensitive skin of your neck as his own orgasm starts to ignite.
His fingers grip your hips so hard you’re certain there will be bruises in the morning.  But it’s worth it -- so damned worth it when you get to watch Jeon Jungkook come undone for you.  You’ve never seen anything sexier than Jungkook with brows knit in utter concentration, mouth slack with pleasure and coming for you.  Inside of you.
 You lean against the bar, legs like noodles as he comes down from his high and seconds later, he’s slumped over you, body lax against yours.
“Hey,” he says after a moment of silence, as you’re catching your breath.  He leans his chin against your shoulder.
“Yeah?” you manage, craning your head to face him.
“Come back tomorrow and we can break open my bottle of Goldschläger.”
*********************
You wake with an ache between your temples and an ache between your legs. 
The pounding in your head is your punishment for drinking way more than you should have last night.  
The pleasant soreness lingering between your thighs is an entirely different story.  That’s the only souvenir you get to keep to commemorate the best sex of your life.  And it’s not going to stick around.
You roll over in bed and reach for your phone.
Tifa picks up on the first ring.
“I’m not even going to play the game with you, girl,” she says, in lieu of a proper greeting. “I just wanna know how it was.”
***********************
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