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casualmaraudering · 5 years ago

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so me and @remywrites5 have been talking about a random au, children came up, and the thought of Sirius and Remus having a family fills me with incredible joy and i just cannot handle it so for once, I wrote some fluff, enjoy!

It takes a twenty minute long delay in traffic, a gigantic puddle of mud being splashed all over the side of his car, and a gaggle of too many teenagers running through the street before Sirius gets home, at 7.14 in the morning.

He is, to put it simply, exhausted. Twelve hours of dealing with weird rashes, people vomiting blood on the floor (three times, it happened three fucking times during Sirius’s shift that night), and this one teenager that broke his arm so badly even Sirius flinched at the sight. And he’s been running on almost no sleep all night, too, with that being his first night shift of the new rotation. Always the worst out of all of them, since he needs to adjust to the pattern.

Sirius steps out of the car and drags himself inside the house with a deep sigh, already kicking off his shoes and throwing his jacket onto the nearest available surface (which just happens to be a small cabinet full of random crap that Sirius promised to clean out but never did). The house is quiet when he’s walking through the corridor and into the bathroom - an unusual thing. Typically when he’s back home after nights, it’s already noisy.

He quickly steps into the shower, washes himself, and then hops into a fresh change of clothes; it’s all mechanical by that point. He’s way too tired to recognise what he’s doing, so he lets his muscle memory lead the way. And once he actually smells like a normal person, and his hair is semi-dry, he finally jogs upstairs to the bedroom, ready to sleep the night off and forget all about it til he inevitably has to go back to work in the evening.

Though, as Sirius is stepping into the bedroom, he’s not greeted with the usual messy and very empty bed, no. There’s a sight that makes his chest warm and heart beat quicker.

“Hey,” Remus says to him, smiling in that gentle way he does whenever Sirius is back from the hospital. He’s laid on the bed, atop of the covers, still in his pj’s. “We thought we’d wait here for you today. We missed you.” A loud pair of giggles follows, Remus nodding in agreement to them with a chuckle.

Sirius can’t not smile at the sight of his husband and their children, one laying on Remus’s chest, the other half-sitting against a pillow (Sirius can’t believe they actually sit, almost by themselves by now; it feels like yesterday when they couldn’t even roll around lying down). He hardly ever sees them all when he’s got work; with shifts that last 10-12 hours, then having to sleep it all off. After that, there’s so few hours left to spend time with his family before he’s due to be back in the A&E. It never feels like he’s home long enough.

He immediately scoops Leo up from the bed and into his arms, dropping small kisses all over the boy’s face, cherishing the sound of little, six month old laughter filling up the room.

“Missing out on playtime just to say hi to daddy, huh?” Sirius says, his voice high and affectionate as he holds Leo up to squint at him with a smile.

“Bwah!” is Leo’s only reply, followed by more giggles. Sirius’s smile is so wide it hurts.

There’s a little sniffling sound followed by a very upset noise of protest, and Sirius finds himself laughing as he shifts Leo to his hip, so he can then sit on the bed and scoop up Nix as well.

“It’s fine, don’t fuss, I didn’t forget about you,” he kisses her little cheeks, earning a laugh in return. “Have you been good, huh? Didn’t give your daddy trouble at night?”

“Not at all,” Remus replies, sitting up, now that he can. He sits resting against the wall and watches the three of them. “There’s been some disagreements about bedtime, but overall it was a good night.”

“Oh, you two are so big now you don’t have to stick to your bedtime, huh?” Sirius maneuvers so the twins are seated at his lap, slightly bouncing them in place. “Two little grownups, I see.”

“I think they’ve just missed you. Not quite the same with just me reading the bedtime stories.”

“You just don’t do the voices quite right. I didn’t do that one semester of musical theatre for nothing.”

Remus rolls his eyes with a sigh, but he’s got a warm smile on his face. “Good day at work?”

“As exhausting as usual. Nothing terrible, though. Some gross stuff, if you feel up for that later.”

Remus laughs. “Always. You know I love to hear all about those fun rashes when we have dinner.” He then leans forward to kiss Sirius shortly. “Missed you.”

“Missed you too. I’ve got the weekend free though, and then a week of just the afternoon.”

“Can’t wait. You’re on nappy duties.”

Sirius laughs, his eyes going down to the twins happily bouncing on his knees.

“No problem for me there. And we can go to the park, too, if the weather is nice.”

“I’ll ask Lily if she wants to make it a play date with Harry.”

Sirius is leaning forward to kiss his husband again, this time longer. He’s met with a very unhappy noise; not from Remus though. He leans back laughing.

“Is someone jealous?” he tickles Phoenix’s stomach, making the girl squirm and giggle. “Don’t like your dads kissing, huh? Nooo, you want all the kisses to yourself, I assume. Greedy little thing.”

“She’s got that after you.”

“Hey!” he elbows Remus slightly. He means to bite back, but a yawn escapes him instead.

“Ah, that’s our cue. We’re going downstairs now.” Remus crawls to the other side of the bed, standing up and taking Leo, then letting Sirius hand him Nix. “Daddy’s had a long night, we’re gonna go play on our own.”

“Wake me up in a few? Before lunch?”

Remus kisses his forehead with a sigh. “You’ve been working all night-”

“I know. I just don’t wanna leave you to deal with them all by yourself when I’m home. You know I hate that.”

“You’re working hard, I can handle them while you’re sleeping it off, it’s fine.”

Sirius collapses onto the bed in a manner that’s entirely too dramatic, making Remus chuckle. “I’ve decided I’m asking for a year off when my boss gets back from her holiday. And you can’t change my mind about it. I’d much rather change nappies than pull out batteries from people’s-”

“Okay, we’re going to leave now, don’t need them to hear that.”

Sirius chuckles and waves as Remus finally exits the bedroom, talking to Nix and Leo about all the things they’re going to be doing downstairs, leaving Sirius to himself.

He falls asleep to the faint sounds of a Disney movie and rattling of toys, thinking about just how lucky he is to have his family.

#some emotional mush for yall #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #sirius x remus #the marauders fanfiction #my tag #my writing tag #would you look at that. she knows how to write fluff #unbelievable #just gays being dads featuring oc twins #im procrastinating on literally everything and wrote this instead

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averytiredbitch · 4 years ago

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MK OC Randomness part 5? 6? What part am I on?

I am having trouble with writer's blocks... so here are more OC jokes

Some of these jokes contain spoilers for both my Switched and Fate AUs.

enjoy

------

Michiko: Sektor is such a wonderful brother! Look he made me this dress!

Krow: Gae one time took me to a forest with nothing but birch and hickory trees and left me there for 3 days.

Krow: I'm allergic to birch and hickory trees.

------

Ash: Hate to break it to ya, but there are in fact three genders.

Ash: And those are, Good girl, Good boy, and little shit.

Kamden: So what do you identify as?

Ash: Little shit.

------

Shinnok: Hello No- *studies her haircut for a minute*

Nozomi: don't say a word!

Shinnok: *in a serious tone* Nozomi, is there something you're trying to tell me? Something you can't tell your father?

Nozomi: *looking at him quizzically* what do you mean?

Shinnok: *getting up and walking over to a storage closet, opening it and gesturing vaguely*

Nozomi: *groans* For the last time Shinnok. I am not gay! I just had to get my haircut again and dad wasn't there to help. So I did it myself

Shinnok: Oh. Well you know there's nothing wrong with being gay Nozomi. It's perfectly alright. Your girlfriend or partner will be treated the same as if you had a boyfriend

Nozomi: Thank you Lord Gaydar, but I don't like anybody like that!

Shinnok: Alright, hey is that your mother's cloak?

Nozomi: NOPE! *teleports away*

------

“Quan Chi”: I’m not possessed! What makes you think I'm possessed? You have no proof ! Prove I'm possessed Fuyuka! Prove it! You can't!

Fuyuka: *already sick of this bullshit* I know it's you Onaga.

"Quan Chi", now revealed to be Onaga: Damnit! What gave it away?

Fuyuka: *sighs* Well one, your eyes are really yellow with an odd slit in them, something I know my Chi does not have. Two, I don't think you've noticed, but you've grown some wings and horns, and last I checked Quan Chi never had any of those. And three, MY HUSBAND DOESN'T HAVE A FUCKING TAIL!

Onaga: *looking at the features he never noticed* Yup that'll do it. Could've sworn I hidden those.

Onaga: Oh well. You still wanna mate?

Fuyuka: Get out of my husband's body.

------

Seth: *walks by laughing*

Yamato: Shut up. *smacks him down*

------

Satoru: He doesn't deserve you.

Satoru: If he doesn't treat you right by now, you're gone.

Xue: I'm gone.

Satoru: Good. NOW GO CHOP HIS DICK OFF-

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Ash: Dad look, it's the good kush!

Kano: This is the dollar store how good can it be?

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*While in isolation*

Fuyuka: Fuyuka the tea is done

Fuyuka: Fuyuka?

Fuyuka: *thinks; "Maybe I'm Fuyuka?"*

Gae: *pops up out of nowhere* Did you say tea-?

Fuyuka: *screams*

------

Old LK Grandmaster: I should've left you out in the cold with your dead father!

Michiko: But ya didn't!

*Trying to figure out who killed Havik*

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Raiden: Alright, who do you think did it then?

Nozomi: Argus!

Raiden: Argus is dead.

Nozomi: Wait, Ar-

Raiden: Argus is still dead.

Nozomi: Ah this is really difficult. Hold o-

------

Raiden: Melantha, this is a crime scene.

Melantha: *taking some Edinan pie* What is this the murder weapon?

Melantha: Get off my dick!

------

Erron: Hey Klaudia ya got something I can cut this thread with?

Klaudia: Yeah right here man

Klaudia: *skillfully opens up a switch blade*

Erron: Hey are you ok?

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Taven: He's dead!

Nozomi: *yawns then looks around*

Nozomi: "not the dick-head", what do you want me to say?

Idalia: are you gonna wake up today you little shit?

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Kabal: Oh come on Kristy, it's not like you actually killed somebody.

Kristy: *does a vague face gester*

Kabal: hehe- *to this side* fuck!

------

*In Fuyuka's temple*

Nozomi: Alright, grab onto my staff, we'll teleport to the 16th floor.

Reiki: Wait, couldn't we just walk there?

Nozomi: Well if you wanna walk up about ohhhh about 369 steps and 15 flights of stairs, then be my guest

Reiki: ... And we're teleporting!

------

*then*

Reiki: Michiko obviously loves me more. So run along ice boy!

Bi Han: I will destroy you and your clan if you don't take that back! *now*

Reiki: I love you more. Don't fight me on this Bi Han!

Bi Han: I will throw hands with you over this! I love you more!

------

*then*

Scorpion: Since Reiki assigned me to protect you, maybe we can be friends?

Michiko: *smiles widely* Oh sure! *smile drops* when foxes fly!

*now*

Hanzo: Heeeeey... can I also get a kiss?

Michiko: I don't know. How many did I give you today?

Hanzo: t two

Michiko: *kisses him two more times*

------

Reiki: I'm a healer but-

Reiki: *makes his flames turn black*

------

Harmonia: If you hate dad so much, how were we born?

Melantha: *not looking up from the paper* fever season.

Harmonia: What?

Melantha: Hormones.

Discordia: Huh?

Nemos: Oh my fuckin- SHE GOT HORNY! MOM GOT HORNY!

------

Meixiu's ghost: So how's motherhood treating you?

Michiko: It's going great actually, just didn't expect there to be so much crying.

Meixiu: Oh, all babies cry. You'll get used to it.

Michiko: Oh no, Xue is fine. It's Bi Han I'm talking about.

*From the nursery*

Bi Han: *sobbing* She's so beautiful!!!!

Bi Han: *bursting into the infirmary* Is she ok!? How is the baby!? Have they been born yet!?

Medic: Actually Sub-Zero you'll be happy to know that your wife gave birth to twins. A boy and a girl.

Michiko: *holding the twins* Hi honey. Look. This one is Nori, and this one is Su.

Bi Han: *tearing up*

Little Satoru: *sighs* I'll get the tissues for dad.

------

Erron: Hate to disappoint Blade, but another gal has my heart. < *talking about Kristy*

Sonya: *raises an eyebrow* Are you gonna ask her out?

Erron: shrill voice I AM WORKING ON IT!

------

Quan Chi: I would tell you not to hurt her, but technically she's not my daughter so-

Meixiu's ghost: Oh it's ok. I got this.

Meixiu's ghost: ahem!

Meixiu's ghost: Hurt my daughter and you'll wish you were back in the void with nothing but your shadow based hallucinations, and when you do get back there, not even those will keep you company!

Bi Han: Good Elder Gods!

Reiki: *from the background* OH IT'S OK! YOU GET USED TO IT!

Klaudia: I wake up everyday and chose violence in hopes that someone will kill me.

------

Michiko: Wait the floor's made of glass?

Old LK GM: Yeah I had it updated.

Michiko: Dad, why the fuck would you do it?

Old LK GM: I don't know. I thought it would be nice. Does it look good?

Michiko: PEOPLE ARE GETTING HURT ON THE FLOOR DAD!- I mean yeah it does look kinda nice, not gonna lie- BUT WHAT THE FUCK!?

Tomas: You can't live off solitude and alcohol forever!

Demon form Michiko: I've made my choice!

------

Satoru: Can you show any emotion besides "meh"?

Xue: Can you show any sign of intelligence?

Satoru: Why are you like this?

Xue: Why are you an idiot?

------

Satoru: Xue's got a boyfriend! Xue's got a boyfriend! Xue's got a boyfriend!

Xue: *glaring* I hate you!

Satoru: Aww.. Why? *grinning*

Xue: Because I can't get you back on this particular subject!

Satoru: *sticks his tongue out and snickers in AroAce*

@feistyfandomthings

@dontunderestimatemypoison

@doodlewagonbug

@yuvononik

@yuvon

@deepinthefog

@toomanyf4ndoms7

@toomanyf4ndoms8

@cyberneticbloodgoddess

@tora-lotus

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loptyrs-moved · 4 years ago

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Can you talk more abt ur fandoms ocs? I like your writing a lot and would like to know more abt em

Oh my goodness I’m 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you’re SO sweet thank you!

Well, I have quite a few and some have their own deeper lore stories that go with them. If you guys want more information on them, I can do separate posts on all of them. But Here they are! I’m so excited to share my babies with you!

More is under the cut. The Picrew I used is here.

Ikemen Revolution

Black Army Side

Corrin Fukui

Age: Appears to be in mid-early twenties

Hair: Brick white

Eyes: Blood Red

Height: 4′11

Any other Qualities:

Draconic features -- She’s literally a dragon but not by nature

Curved Opalescent Horns

Shimmery opalescent tail

Wings that also shimmer in the light

retractable?

Pointed ears

Easily frightened by loud noises and sudden movements

stunted growth

Hoards blankets and comfort items

writes in a journal every day

its one luka got for her and she refuses to write in anything else. she pours her heart out on the pages, and all her memories

she had a brother! but he passed away because of the magic tower :(

turns into a gIANT DRAGON

ICE ICE BREATH BABY

Was found by Luka while on a patrol near the forbidden forest, lost and afraid, so she was taken in

Had amnesia at first

She actually is an experiment of Amon and she managed to escape

Excellent at sewing and gardening

Sufficient with baking

She’s for Luka! The way they fell for each other was a slow, gradual trust, and mutual understanding. She saw him as a man, as he was, and nothing else.

Sometimes is called Corri

gentle hearted and innocent

but not as innocent as you’d think

she’s a dragon, and she’s a greedy little one

Ophelia Dae

Age: 24

Hair: Crimson red

Eyes: Jade green

Height: 5′8

Any other Qualities:

A skilled swordsman, and one of the Chosen Thirteen

9 of Spades baybeee

While she is more accustomed to short swords and sabers, Phelia is a magic user! But she isn’t really in agreement with Ray with his stance on magic

BOMBASTIC AS HELL

BISEXUAL

“Is he bothering you Queen?”

Trans

Was friends with Ray and Fenrir while in school, and was just as much of a hellraiser as them

she was there when the day things went dark happened and was almost taken but that day is a blur for her

phelia REFUSES to talk about it

she still has nightmares

raised by a single mother

TRIVIA! She was an old fire emblem oc i had and she was the daughter of Arvis -- so if you squint when she uses magic you’ll see Valflame

joined the army probably because Fenrir was too, and she was inspired by him

she joined for her own reasons but he made it easier for her to do it too

his passion was what made her fall for him in the first place

has a personal vendetta against the magic tower for what they did to her and her friends

AND CORRIN JEEZ

will sacrifice herself if necessary to the cause

PROBABLY HAS ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF IT

Bruh girl

Amira Nasiri

Age: 22

Hair: Chocolate brown

Eyes: Turquoise blue

Height: 5′3

Any other qualities:

My version of Alice! Difference is that she’s Persian

That’s it

She’s just as spunky as Alice

however she responds with being called Alice a little different

she’s adamant about being called Amira

At some point she just accepts Seth does it to distance himself

also an avid baker like alice

pISTACIOS

BAKLAVA

Amira is just Alice except she’s just my take on her.

She has the same vibrant spirit as Alice

and I personally consider Seth the canon route for REASONS

just ask me why fjgdfgjksd

Red Army Side

Azul Flores

Age: 25

Hair: Raven black

Eyes: Wisteria purple

Height: 5′0

Any Other Qualities:

An old friend of the Queen of Hearts

like she met him when she was 8 years old

fought his bullies when they would give him a hard time when he was a kid

they dated for a WHILE

did NOT work out

HARD CHILDHOOD

Ambitious, hard working young woman who was married into a high standing family on the Red side. Her mother was a teacher and gained the attention of one of the Chosen Thirteen on that side, and got married

Azul is NOT the officer’s daughter. She’s his step daughter

Has had extensive studies on the History of Cradle and of the Red Territory.

Wants to be a Cradle Historian

Works for the Red Army as a personal assistant to the queen

UNINTENTIONAL

THEY ACTUALLY CANT STAND EACH OTHER

Unless....

Look their story is very dramatic and it hurts me every day so please stay tuned with them.

CUT THROAT BITCH

YOUR DEVIL

DEMON

Heckles Jonah like its her job — she knows him better than anyone elsd, if anyone knows his bs, its her

Bad resting bitch face

Actually really shy, and quiet when in different surroundings

A sweetheart and will cut a bitch for you once she knows u

She is perhaps one of the most transparent, honest, genuine person. there is no bullshit with her. she will tell you her honest thoughts with you

Cerise Nam

Age: 19

Hair: Berry Pink

Eyes: Petal Pink

Height: 5′2

Any other qualities:

Her mom came to Cradle from a far off place, and set up a food and pastry shop in the Central Quarter. Met her dad. Been there since

They live in Black Territory

She works for her parents and works with the pastries/desserts

loves making desserts from where her parents are from

She knows the Queen of Hearts VERY well since she makes the best mille feuille

Got a job from him actually, and works for the Red Army Headquarters kitchen

Loves to cook and bake!

a little naïve, but she’s a realist

youngest of FIVE kids!!

Morning girl

She may be petite but she can HEAFT heavy bags of flour/rice/dry goods

Met Zero by accident, and crashed into him while in town

love at first sight for her. how can you fault her?

she thinks he’s dreamy... and sweet...

does she flirt with him a little? Cerise can’t help it...

She and Zero have more of a hidden relationship because she fears her parents won’t approve

family stuff -- and she understands

RED ARMY OFFICER?? BLACK TERRITORY GIRL

look im cheesy

dont worry it works out

zero has to consider himself and his own personal stuff too so its a little difficult

Non Army Suitor(s)

Lucile Lidell

Age: 20

Hair: Straw blonde

Eyes: Aqua blue

Height: 5'1

Any other qualities:

She and her twin, Noelle, are the actual descendants of the original Alice

Inherited unusual hairpins that were from cradle

More of the 'modern woman stuck in the wrong time' kind of gal

Rebellious

Noelle and Luci: partners in crime

Short skirts galore

Does not give a singular shit of what MEN think of her

Wants to be taken seriously

Sometimes acts like an airhead in order to get attention. She's actually pretty somber as a person and prefers to be in the background as her sister takes the stage

loves her sister more than anyone else in the world

When she and Noelle fall into Cradle, they kind of hightail it and live in the woods with Harr and Loki

Sticks with Harr since he's literally the least threatening man ever

First man to feel safe around

"Excuse me he said NO pickles!"

Will cut a bitch for him, or use magic -- luci will hurt someone if they even think a bout looking at him wrong

Loves to make clothes

'I mended the holes in your cloak for you...' 'Bye Harr, be safe and have a good day.'

'Welcome home, I missed you.'

Puts up a tough girl front but she's just a big softie just like him

Doesn't realize she has a crush on him until shit starts to hit the fan

Actually very vanilla tbh but wants to spoil her bf

Ikemen Sengoku

Ito Tsunade

Age: 26

Hair: Straw Blonde

Eyes: Molten Gold

Height: 5′5

Any Other Qualities:

Graduate student at the same university as Sasuke

got stuck in the storm with him and Mai, and was tossed into the sengoku era

but she got separated from Mai

Met Shingen first much to her luck because uh.... lets say Tsunade is aint the sharpest tool in the shed

HEAD EMPTY

ZERO THOUGHTS

AIRHEAD

her aesthetic when she gets there?

TITS OUT

BIG HONKERS BIG TATA

HOT

her head might be empty but her tits are fat and they will protect you

Music nerd — loves traditional Japanese instruments, especially the difficult ones

Specializes in girl metal in modern day

eventually proves herself and plays some sick chords for the takeda/uesegi forces

she has entertained them for now

puts sake away like a monster

when she meets sasuke, she finds comfort in the fact he’s also lost with her, so she clings

asks him how to protect herself from shingen bc he’s horny lolol

genuinely thinks sasuke is hilarious

also does NOT realize she’s in love with him until the gravest of grave happens

her name was UNINTENTIONAL

Aibana Hinata

Age: Presents in his early-mid twenties

Hair: Black Midnight

Eyes: Haunting gold and vermillion

Height: 5'3

Any other qualities:

The concubine of Nobunaga

Please know I made him a long while before the other guy was dropped so I’m just gonna offer this little gay boy

Nobunaga bought him from a brothel after being so intrigued by him. Hina entertained him so well that he was set for life

A RIGHT SNARKY BASTARD

HE KNOWS HE’S PRETTY AND CAN GET AWAY WITH MURDER

Likes to challenge Nobunaga in battles of wits

board games

debate as pillow talk

swordplay if the lords will entertain him enough

Bisexual as hell

Gender? Don’t know her

He uses all pronouns

True pronoun: princess

ONLY EXISTS IN A UNIVERSE WHERE THERE IS MAI

Nobunaga/Mai/Hinata........

Unless.......

Smart, and educated

former geisha

he can read! and write!

LOVE FUCKING WITH HIDEYOSHI

if there is mai, he would bond with her like no one else

he would be her best friend

her confidant

genuinely adores her

even if she is pursuing nobunaga, he doesn’t resent her ... he just wishes that she would find room in her heart for him too

puts up a tough exterior

a softie.....

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the-rogue-mockingjay · 6 years ago

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OC Interview!

featuring my girls, Melanthe, Eden, and Aisling!

Tagged by @schoute, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I’VE WANTED TO DO ONE OF THESE!!! Thanks for the tag!!!!!

Tagging @coptix! (frick yeah Luna Hawke!!!!!) And also @markuilleam (no pressure tho lol)

Rules: Answer the following questions as your OC of choice.

I couldn’t pick just ONE, so I said screw it and went with my main three!

1. What’s your name?

Melanthe Ashirill Lavellan. [She grins and bows low and dramatically.] How do you do? [She glances at her sister.]

[Eden clears her throat.] Eden Lavellan.

[Hawke smiles pleasantly and crosses her legs.] Aisling Mariann Hawke.

2. Do you know why you are named that?

[Melanthe shrugs.]

Hawke: No.

Eden: A friend suggested it, I thought it sounded nice, and that’s what I’ve gone with ever since.

3. Are you single or taken?

Hawke: I gave an angsty Tevinter elf my heart, and I hope he keeps it forever.

[Melanthe cackles.] Always the romantic, aren’t you Hawke? As for me… [She pulls an ivory wolf’s jawbone pendant out from under her tunic and waves it around.] Yep.

Hawke: You…went with Solas?

[Melanthe nods.] Yep. The resident egghead Fade expert is mine. And my dear sister is in love with the Commander!

[Eden blushes slightly.] He’s…he’s nice.

[Hawke and Melanthe elbow Eden playfully.]

4. Have any abilities or powers?

[Eden holds up a glowing left hand.] Mel and I have the Anchor. It lets us open and close tears in the Veil.

[Melanthe high-fives her sister with her own glowing hand.] Yes! And we can make tiny holes in the Veil to kill demons sometimes!

Hawke: I’m a mage, specifically a spirit healer with force mage training. It’s pretty cool. Eden’s a mage as well.

Melanthe: And I’m good at poking hundreds of holes in people via a truly epic assortment of knives. [She winks.]

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

[The three women exchange puzzled glances.]

Hawke: Run that by me again?

Melanthe: I don’t remember killing someone by that name. Nor do I remember any bartenders with that name. Maybe…eh. Nah.

6. What’s your eye color?

[Hawke raises an eyebrow.] You mean to tell me you can’t see it? Blue.

[Melanthe leans in close to the interviewer for a moment.] Gold, but not the same shade as my sister’s. Mine’s better.

Eden: I’m not inclined to disagree.

7. How about your hair color?

Hawke: Black. Like obsidian but, alas! Not as shiny.

Eden: Just..dark red.

Melanthe: Like drying blood!

[Eden makes a face.] Mel, please.

Melanthe: Okay fine. Going with Hawke’s mention of shiny rocks, how about garnet red?

Eden: That is better, yes.

8. Have any family members?

[Hawke suddenly finds the floor most intriguing. Melanthe perks up.] Oh, lots! There’s the twins, Tessa and Feyrand--they’re older than me--Iolanthe’s younger than Eden, we’ve got an even younger brother who has a habit of disappearing and we’ve got cousins galore! There’s Kahris, Maralah, Saelethil…not to mention our clanmates! They’re family too.

Eden: My friends are my family, too. Hawke, Fenris, Cole, Cassandra, Solas, Varric, Sera, Blackwall…the whole inner circle, really.

Interviewer: What about you, Hawke?

[Hawke jerks her head back up.] Oh, sorry. Well… [She coughs into her fist.] I have Fenris and my ducklings, and the Lavellans. That is…all.

9. Oh? How about any pets?

Melanthe: Too many. There’s my palomino horse, I call him Corvo, Eden’s got a hart named Red Velvet, a halla named Evune, probably a dozen different birds, three hamsters aaaaand a rabbit on top of that-

Eden: In my defense, they were mostly rescues.

[Hawke points behind her with her thumb.] There’s an undead bog unicorn in the stables. And a giant nug. And as for me? My mabari Birch is all I need.

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like.

[Hawke deadpans.] Red lyrium.

[Melanthe grimaces.] Oh, I feel you there.

Eden: Stuck-up ancient Tevinter morons who blow things up and then monologue villainously.

Melanthe: Oof, true! Also the Chantry. The Chantry can go- [She spews a long string of obscenities that just about rivals a sailor’s cursing.]

[Eden nods thoughtfully. Hawke’s eyes glint with mischief.] And the TEMPLARS as well, especially the ones who were in KIRKWALL working for MEREDITH-

[Cullen hollers from the next room.] I heard that, Hawke!

[Melanthe and Hawke high-five. Eden shakes her head.] Hawke didn’t mean you, ma atish’an.

Melanthe: Oh yes she did. [snickers]

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

[Melanthe leans back in her chair, putting her legs on the table.] Stabbing. Drinking. Kissing Solas. Pranking everyone in Skyhold, the usual trouble.

Eden: Painting, reading, gardening. [A timid smile slowly spreads across her face.] Singing, or playing the harp.

Hawke: Now that you mention it… I write poetry, and sometimes turn them into songs. Journaling is also something I like, and pressing flowers, and-… [Her gaze strays to the wall.] Yeah, that’s about it.

12. Have you hurt anyone in any way before?

[The three women glance at each other, at the interviewer, then back to each other.]

Melanthe: Pfft. What kind of question is that?

[Eden toys with a bracelet.]

Hawke: Oh no, of course not.

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

[Hawke grabs a champagne glass from the end table next to her, and sips it.] Me? Never!

Melanthe: I heard you used the Arishok’s skull as a flowerpot.

[Hawke nearly spits her drink everywhere.] Who told you that?

[Melanthe simply winks at the interviewer.]

14. What kind of animal are you?

Hawke: A dragon. Guarding my treasure hoard~

[Melanthe wiggles her eyebrows.] A sssssslippery sssssssssnake!

Eden: Sorry sister, you’re more of a mountain goat. You’re everywhere you shouldn’t be and you consume an unholy amount of whatever food’s available.

Melanthe: She’s a barn owl. Or a cat, maybe?

15. Name your worst habits?

Hawke: Fenris says I’m a bit overprotective of my friends. Too loyal, too stubborn, too willing to risk my life for others, I “involve myself in the affairs of others” too much, or what have you. But I’ll let you in on a secret: I used to ignore the vast majority of the mail I got when I was a noblewoman of Kirkwall.

Eden: I stay up late reading fiction when I should be dealing with all my mail and- [she lowers her voice.] Sometimes I skip war meetings.

Melanthe: I run exclusively on caffeine and volatile emotions.

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?

Hawke: Eden.

Eden: Hawke.

Melanthe: Iron Bull, Cassandra, Blackwall, Cullen, Leliana, Josie, Tess, Feyrand, Krem, Sera, Solas, Vivienne, Cole, Dorian… [She grins wickedly.] But not you, sister. I’m still taller than you.

Eden: Not if I wear heels.

Melanthe: Not if I stand on Bull’s shoulders!

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

Hawke: Mm, straight.

[Melanthe considers this a moment, then shrugs.]

Eden: Just because I have a boyfriend doesn’t mean I’m into…that.

18. Do you go to school?

Hawke: My parents taught me a lot.

Melanthe: Dalish don’t really have school.

19. Ever want to marry and have any kids one day?

Hawke: I’d like to, yes.

Eden: Marriage? Absolutely, but kids I’m not so sure of.

Melanthe: To be honest I haven’t thought about it. Too busy stabbing demons and undead and corrupted templars and whatnot.

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

Hawke: Do lovers count as fans?

Melanthe: HEY SOLAS! ARE YOU A FANBOY?

Solas, from the other room: Am I- what?

Melanthe: He’s a fan of the Fade. And me. But be serious, very few people in Skyhold AREN’T fans of me. [She winks.]

21. What are you most afraid of?

Eden: Spiders.

Hawke: Corrupted spiders.

Melanthe: Bears.

22. What do you usually wear?

Eden: Simple Dalish robes.

Hawke: I inherited a bloody awesome coat from my dad complete with belts, a bright red sash, and some shoulder armor. With bonus knee protection, because you can’t protect your knees enough.

Melanthe: I’ve got a sick coat, made of phoenix scales, ring velvet, Highever weave, with lazurite details. I’ve got other coats made of varghest scales, dragonling scales, and gurgut webbing.

23. What one food tempts you?

Melanthe: CHOCOLATE. What kind? Doesn’t matter, it’s MINE.

Hawke: Ham that tastes of despair is okay, but there’s enough despair in the world, and not enough lemon cheesecake.

Eden: …cinnamon rolls.

24. Am I annoying you?

Melanthe: Nope. I’ve got aaaall the time in the world.

Hawke: After all the people I’ve dealt with, it’ll take a lot more to be annoying.

Eden: You’re not a fussy Orlesian noble. You’re doing just fine.

25. Well, it’s still not over!

[Hawke gestures for the interviewer to continue.]

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?

Hawke: I was an apostate, then a refugee apostate, then a noblewoman apostate, then the Champion of Kirkwall, and now I’m little more than a fugitive, so truth be told, I’m not sure.

Eden: a Dalish First turned Inquisitor. I…don’t…really know?

Melanthe: High class for fancy parties and fancy murders, low class at the tavern.

27. How many friends do you have?

Hawke: About ten.

[Melanthe snorts.] Um, almost a whole castle’s worth.

Eden: My inner circle, plus the ducklings, plus the animals… [She tries counting them, but loses track.] As many friends as I need.

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

Hawke and Melanthe, in unison: Lemon meringue is the best.

Melanthe: Chocolate is equal.

Eden: Pies of all kinds are good. I wish we had them more often.

29. Favourite drink?

Melanthe: Whiskey.

Hawke: That peach liqueur I used to buy in Hightown.

Eden: ….hot chocolate?

30. What’s your favourite place?

[Hawke smiles wistfully.] I have many, but the place I like best is wherever Fenris is.

Melanthe: Awww!!

Hawke: And somewhere we’re not being attacked all the time.

Melanthe: I’m rather fond of that little oasis in the Western Approach. And the Wounded Coast. Storm Coast was pretty, too.

Eden, softly: I liked the Emerald Graves.

31. Are you interested in anyone?

Melanthe: We’re all dating someone at the moment. And we told you that.

32. That was a stupid question…

Hawke: We all say dumb things sometimes.

Melanthe: Some people more often than others.

33. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

Hawke and Melanthe: Ocean.

Eden: Lake.

34. What’s your type?

Melanthe: Type of what? Blood? Weapons?

Eden: Preferred type of magic?

[Hawke tries not to laugh and fails.] Broody and sometimes glowing.

35. Any fetishes?

[Melanthe smiles brightly.] Stabbing demons.

Hawke: If you think you’re going to get an answer to that, think again.

[Eden squirms and twists her bracelet around her hand.] Next question, please.

36. Camping indoors or outdoors?

Melanthe: Wait….indoor camping is a thing? What is it with you shems and constantly coming up with new nonsense?

Hawke: Pillow or blanket forts, I think.

Eden: …..outdoors?

I stayed up SO MUCH LATER THAN I SHOULD HAVE writing this, but heck if it wasn’t awesome!

#memes!#aisling hawke #melanthe lavellan #eden lavellan

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chocolate-cauldron-cakes · 5 years ago

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