#mk oc kamden

[averytiredbitch]

I want a baby oc edition; prt1- Black Dragon OCs

I couldn't find the right template for this. So ya'll gettin the typed out version

LEZ GO

(mk characters belong to Midway and NRS)

(my ocs belong to me)

(read the tags to find out who is who)

(sidenote; Shariah is in an open relationship with multiple people. please respect that)

Megumi: I want a baby

Ayeka: We're lesbians

------

Terra: I want a baby

Tremor: Give me a week

Tremor: What color?

------

Shariah: I want a baby

Nyx: Eat shit, I'm not putting a demon inside you

------

Shariah: I want a baby

Meat: Mine?

Shariah: Yeah. Who else's?

Meat: Rain's

-------

Shariah: I want a baby

Baraka: Like for lunch?

------

Shariah: I want a baby

Motaro: You already have the taigore

------

Klaudia: I want a baby

Kano: Oh my god

Kano: just steal one

------

Kristy: I want a baby

Kabal: On my way!

------

Kristy: I want a baby

Erron: Let's go talk about it in bed

------

Kamden: I want a baby

Kung Jin: We got like $12 combined

------

Ash: I want a baby

Kai: Oh.

Kai: Where you gonna get one?

@roofgeese @maddenedroses @tora-lotus @yuvononik @feistyfandomthings @dontunderestimatemypoison @that-one-snake-art @thunderfox85 @cyo-bro @doodlewagonbug @ninibear3000 @loverofthewindgod @sanguinessunflower @irrelevant-subjects @ghastlyrider @starneko123 @spacewallflower

[averytiredbitch]

MK OC Randomness part 5? 6? What part am I on?

I am having trouble with writer's blocks... so here are more OC jokes

Some of these jokes contain spoilers for both my Switched and Fate AUs.

enjoy

------

Michiko: Sektor is such a wonderful brother! Look he made me this dress!

Krow: Gae one time took me to a forest with nothing but birch and hickory trees and left me there for 3 days.

Krow: I'm allergic to birch and hickory trees.

------

Ash: Hate to break it to ya, but there are in fact three genders.

Ash: And those are, Good girl, Good boy, and little shit.

Kamden: So what do you identify as?

Ash: Little shit.

------

Shinnok: Hello No- *studies her haircut for a minute*

Nozomi: don't say a word!

Shinnok: *in a serious tone* Nozomi, is there something you're trying to tell me? Something you can't tell your father?

Nozomi: *looking at him quizzically* what do you mean?

Shinnok: *getting up and walking over to a storage closet, opening it and gesturing vaguely*

Nozomi: *groans* For the last time Shinnok. I am not gay! I just had to get my haircut again and dad wasn't there to help. So I did it myself

Shinnok: Oh. Well you know there's nothing wrong with being gay Nozomi. It's perfectly alright. Your girlfriend or partner will be treated the same as if you had a boyfriend

Nozomi: Thank you Lord Gaydar, but I don't like anybody like that!

Shinnok: Alright, hey is that your mother's cloak?

Nozomi: NOPE! *teleports away*

------

“Quan Chi”: I’m not possessed! What makes you think I'm possessed? You have no proof ! Prove I'm possessed Fuyuka! Prove it! You can't!

Fuyuka: *already sick of this bullshit* I know it's you Onaga.

"Quan Chi", now revealed to be Onaga: Damnit! What gave it away?

Fuyuka: *sighs* Well one, your eyes are really yellow with an odd slit in them, something I know my Chi does not have. Two, I don't think you've noticed, but you've grown some wings and horns, and last I checked Quan Chi never had any of those. And three, MY HUSBAND DOESN'T HAVE A FUCKING TAIL!

Onaga: *looking at the features he never noticed* Yup that'll do it. Could've sworn I hidden those.

Onaga: Oh well. You still wanna mate?

Fuyuka: Get out of my husband's body.

------

Seth: *walks by laughing*

Yamato: Shut up. *smacks him down*

------

Satoru: He doesn't deserve you.

Satoru: If he doesn't treat you right by now, you're gone.

Xue: I'm gone.

Satoru: Good. NOW GO CHOP HIS DICK OFF-

------

Ash: Dad look, it's the good kush!

Kano: This is the dollar store how good can it be?

------

*While in isolation*

Fuyuka: Fuyuka the tea is done

Fuyuka: Fuyuka?

Fuyuka: *thinks; "Maybe I'm Fuyuka?"*

Gae: *pops up out of nowhere* Did you say tea-?

Fuyuka: *screams*

------

Old LK Grandmaster: I should've left you out in the cold with your dead father!

Michiko: But ya didn't!

*Trying to figure out who killed Havik*

------

Raiden: Alright, who do you think did it then?

Nozomi: Argus!

Raiden: Argus is dead.

Nozomi: Wait, Ar-

Raiden: Argus is still dead.

Nozomi: Ah this is really difficult. Hold o-

------

Raiden: Melantha, this is a crime scene.

Melantha: *taking some Edinan pie* What is this the murder weapon?

Melantha: Get off my dick!

------

Erron: Hey Klaudia ya got something I can cut this thread with?

Klaudia: Yeah right here man

Klaudia: *skillfully opens up a switch blade*

Erron: Hey are you ok?

------

Taven: He's dead!

Nozomi: *yawns then looks around*

Nozomi: "not the dick-head", what do you want me to say?

Idalia: are you gonna wake up today you little shit?

------

------

Kabal: Oh come on Kristy, it's not like you actually killed somebody.

Kristy: *does a vague face gester*

Kabal: hehe- *to this side* fuck!

------

*In Fuyuka's temple*

Nozomi: Alright, grab onto my staff, we'll teleport to the 16th floor.

Reiki: Wait, couldn't we just walk there?

Nozomi: Well if you wanna walk up about ohhhh about 369 steps and 15 flights of stairs, then be my guest

Reiki: ... And we're teleporting!

------

*then*

Reiki: Michiko obviously loves me more. So run along ice boy!

Bi Han: I will destroy you and your clan if you don't take that back! *now*

Reiki: I love you more. Don't fight me on this Bi Han!

Bi Han: I will throw hands with you over this! I love you more!

------

*then*

Scorpion: Since Reiki assigned me to protect you, maybe we can be friends?

Michiko: *smiles widely* Oh sure! *smile drops* when foxes fly!

*now*

Hanzo: Heeeeey... can I also get a kiss?

Michiko: I don't know. How many did I give you today?

Hanzo: t two

Michiko: *kisses him two more times*

------

Reiki: I'm a healer but-

Reiki: *makes his flames turn black*

------

Harmonia: If you hate dad so much, how were we born?

Melantha: *not looking up from the paper* fever season.

Harmonia: What?

Melantha: Hormones.

Discordia: Huh?

Nemos: Oh my fuckin- SHE GOT HORNY! MOM GOT HORNY!

------

Meixiu's ghost: So how's motherhood treating you?

Michiko: It's going great actually, just didn't expect there to be so much crying.

Meixiu: Oh, all babies cry. You'll get used to it.

Michiko: Oh no, Xue is fine. It's Bi Han I'm talking about.

*From the nursery*

Bi Han: *sobbing* She's so beautiful!!!!

Bi Han: *bursting into the infirmary* Is she ok!? How is the baby!? Have they been born yet!?

Medic: Actually Sub-Zero you'll be happy to know that your wife gave birth to twins. A boy and a girl.

Michiko: *holding the twins* Hi honey. Look. This one is Nori, and this one is Su.

Bi Han: *tearing up*

Little Satoru: *sighs* I'll get the tissues for dad.

------

------

Erron: Hate to disappoint Blade, but another gal has my heart. < *talking about Kristy*

Sonya: *raises an eyebrow* Are you gonna ask her out?

Erron: shrill voice I AM WORKING ON IT!

------

Quan Chi: I would tell you not to hurt her, but technically she's not my daughter so-

Meixiu's ghost: Oh it's ok. I got this.

Meixiu's ghost: ahem!

Meixiu's ghost: Hurt my daughter and you'll wish you were back in the void with nothing but your shadow based hallucinations, and when you do get back there, not even those will keep you company!

Bi Han: Good Elder Gods!

Reiki: *from the background* OH IT'S OK! YOU GET USED TO IT!

Klaudia: I wake up everyday and chose violence in hopes that someone will kill me.

------

------

Michiko: Wait the floor's made of glass?

Old LK GM: Yeah I had it updated.

Michiko: Dad, why the fuck would you do it?

Old LK GM: I don't know. I thought it would be nice. Does it look good?

Michiko: PEOPLE ARE GETTING HURT ON THE FLOOR DAD!- I mean yeah it does look kinda nice, not gonna lie- BUT WHAT THE FUCK!?

Tomas: You can't live off solitude and alcohol forever!

Demon form Michiko: I've made my choice!

------

Satoru: Can you show any emotion besides "meh"?

Xue: Can you show any sign of intelligence?

Satoru: Why are you like this?

Xue: Why are you an idiot?

------

Satoru: Xue's got a boyfriend! Xue's got a boyfriend! Xue's got a boyfriend!

Xue: *glaring* I hate you!

Satoru: Aww.. Why? *grinning*

Xue: Because I can't get you back on this particular subject!

Satoru: *sticks his tongue out and snickers in AroAce*

@feistyfandomthings

@dontunderestimatemypoison

@doodlewagonbug

@yuvononik

@yuvon

@deepinthefog

@toomanyf4ndoms7

@toomanyf4ndoms8

@cyberneticbloodgoddess

@tora-lotus

[averytiredbitch]

MK OC Randomness 3

(I'm just gonna combine the Black Dragon moments in here too. so woo! bonus content)

Michiko: *kicks open the doors to her "father's" chambers* We need to talk!

Old Lin Kuei Grandmaster: *looking up from his paperwork* Is this about the mar-

Michiko: "Is ThIs AbOuT tHe MaR-" Yes this about the fucking marriage arrangement!

------

Kabal: Let's make the house look good for mom.

5 year-old Kamden: She doesn't care how things look.

Kabal: Why do you say that?

5yo Kamden: She married you.

------

Kano: If you don't buckle down and do your work, you'll end up at McDonalds!

Kid Ash: We going to McDonalds if I don't do my work?

Kano: NO-

------

Yamato: You get $100,000,000 if you play this, but a 100,000,000 people will die-

Seth: *takes the kazoo and plays it*

Yamato: SETH NO-

------

Seth: It's kind of muggy out today.

Illythia: If I go outside and see all our coffee mugs out on the front lawn, you boys are dead.

Yamato: *sipping coffee from a bowl*

------

Reiko: *has tape over his mouth*

Nozomi: I told him it was my kink, but really I just wanted him to shut up.

------

Melantha: I have feelings for you.

Hotaru: *hopeful* You do?

Melantha: Yeah. I feel like you should give me back my fucking diary!

------

Kristy: Fuck!

Kano: Where did you hear that!?

Klaudia: Yeah where the fuck did you hear that?

------

Klaudia, carrying boxes: Hey can you get my phone out of my back pocket for me?

Kano: What's in it for me?

Klaudia: A chance to touch my ass.

------

Illythia: Yamato, you're in charge while I'm away!

Yamato: I'm your guy!

Illythia: Just don't do anything stupid.

Yamato: I'm kind of your guy...

Illythia: And don't let Seth get into trouble.

Yamato: You need a new guy.

------

Quan Chi: *panicking* What do I do if Fuyuka kisses me?

Iduna: *rolling her eyes* Just kiss her back.

Quan Chi: Ok!

Quan Chi: ... but why her back?

------

Quan Chi and Fuyuka: *looking lovingly into each other's eyes*

Iduna: *pops open a bottle from her stash*

Quan Chi: we're having a moment!

Iduna: And I'm having elixir.

------

Terra: Hey I need some advice!

Ayeka: Be kind to yourself and others.

Megumi: Now, the Red Dragon don't want you knowing this, but the snakes in their lab are free. You can take them home.

------

Sektor: I'm a wanted man!

Michiko: That's impossible. You weren't even wanted as a child.

------

Seth, walking in and laying his head in Illythia's lap: sister tell me I'm pretty.

Illythia, laying her head on his cheek and staring lovingly: You're pretty fucking annoying is what you are.

------

Kronika and The One Being: This is not how we raised you!

Disrupted Fuyuka: Funny, I didn't think you two raised me at all.

------

Fuyuka: *rubbing her temples* How in the realms did you two idiots become Elder Gods?

Cetrion: Hey!

Shinnok: Watch your language young Goddess! You can't call us idiots!

Fuyuka: Yes I can! I am the Goddess of Knowledge, and I diagnose you with stupid! *throws a book at them*

------

Michiko: *thinking about the feelings she has for Reiki that she's not supposed to have* Everything is under control.

Sektor, narrating like a smart ass: Everything was not under control.

------

Flamus: Hey Charu are you ok?

Charu: Yeah why do you ask?

Flamus: Oh no reason. You just look a little...green! :D

Charu: ...

Flamus: ...

Charu: Get out.

------

Nyx: You're blocking the view!

Reptile: I AM the view!

------

Reptile: We had a bonding moment! I cuddles you in my armssss!

Nyx: Nope! Don't remember! Didn't happen!

------

Reptile: *hisses*

Nyx: *screeches*

Zyta: Wha-

Ermac: Shh. They're communicating

------

Ermac: We noticed you were passed out in the Marketplace.

Zyta: And you didn't leave me there!?

------

Harmonia: How much am I going to hate this plan?

Amara: On a scale of 1-10? About a 27.

Harmonia: Perfect.

------

Tanya: So are you in love with Motaro or Meat?

Shariah: *sweats nervously* Neither of them!

Skarlet: Then why do you keep writing S+M on everything?

Shairah: It stands for Sword and Mace!

@yuvon @yuvononik @maddenedroses @deepinthefog @feistyfandomthings @dontunderestimatemypoison @toomanyf4ndoms7

[averytiredbitch]

OC Vine scenarios 3: I don't know who the fuck's gonna be in these

Shariah, Nyx, Ayeka, Megumi, Kristy, Charu, Judas, Kamden, Ash, Michiko, and Reiki all belong to me

other characters belong to Midway/NRS

Shariah: I eat cheerios cause they're heart healthy.

Shariah: And my heart has been severely damaged.

Shariah: So Nyx if you're out there-

------

Megumi: Help!

Taven: Never fear! For I-

Ayeka: *pushes him aside* I got this!

Ayeka: *Decks Daegon in the face*

Megumi: Oh! *goes to Ayeka with open arms*

Taven: *watching Ayeka carry Megumi in her arms* Oh that's sweet

Daegon: That's beautiful

------

Cetrion: *filming Shinnok and Charu* Awww... Bae goals

Cetrion: *holds up a bagel* Bagels..

Cetrion: *eats the bagel*

-----

Reptile: Hey you tryna-

Nyx: Nah I gotta breathe.

Reptile: *covers his mouth with his knuckles*

Nyx: So yeah I'm gonna be pretty busy.

Reptile: But-

Nyx: Look I'm gonna be free after I die. You know after I stop breathing

-----

Motaro: Shariah's coming over

Meat: I have such a crush on her.

*Shariah shows up*

Shariah: Hey, where's Meat?

Motaro: *hugs Shariah* Oh they went home.

Motaro: *then dragging Meat's body in the background* Make yourself at home, I'll be right there!

-----

Kabal: Hey what do you and the kid want to eat?

Kristy: I took him out already

Kabal: *freaks out*

Kristy: To eat.

Kabal: So he's not dead?

-----

Kano: Why did your teacher call my phone?

Ash: I don't know, did you answer it?

Kano: Yeah?

Ash: Then That means they told you why.

Kano: DON'T YOU GET SMART WITH ME!

Ash: I JUST ANSWERED YOUR QUESTION!

------

Judas: I'm manly. I'll hug a guy. I don't even care.

Kamden: Well I'm manlier! I'll kiss a guy!

Judas: Well I'll marry a guy! *smacks his chest*

Kamden: *puts a hand on his chest* Bro..

-----

Sektor: *Finding out about Michiko and Reiki* And they were from rival clans!

Tomas: *who knew the whole time* Oh my god, they were from rival clans.

@yuvononik

@yuvon

@toomanyf4ndoms7

@dontunderestimatemypoison

@feistyfandomthings

@deepinthefog

[averytiredbitch]

MK OC Randomness part 5

listen... at this point, what are you expecting from me? Actual work? No.. Never. Now enjoy the content.

Megumi: Squiggles you son of a bitch! How are you still alive? I saw you go over that cliff! No one could've survived that fall

Squiggles: *hisses*

Megumi: You sly bastard, I would've never thought of that.

Tremor: I I I'm sorry, can she actually speak snake, or is she just messing with us?

Ayeka: Knowing her, it could very well be both

------

Kano: I want half

Klaudia: I'm sorry, what?

Kano: I did half the work, so I want half the code.

Klaudia: This isn't some material I can cut in half, Kano. It's a bunch of 1s and 0s, it's not the simple.

Kano: Then I want the 1s.

Klaudia: Fuck you, I want the 1s!

------

Melantha: Well, you did just kill somebody. Shouldn't you at least feel something?

Nozomi: Oh feelings? Yeah, I don't have those anymore. Went cold turkey.

Melantha: What!?

------

Mr. Hasashi: Oh um, hello little girl. How did you get into our house?

Young Michiko: I I do not remember

Young Hanzo: Oh yeah! I'm sure that'll hold up with the Grandmaster!

------

Old LK GM: Look. Let's just cut right to the chase here Shen. What's it gonna take for you to say yes? Money, items, Michiko?

Michiko: Excuse me!?

Old LK GM: What? It's a compliment

Michiko: Wow, Grandmaster, I didn't think you knew any magic. But look at you, turning women into trophies.

------

Fuyuka: On an unrelated note, are you at all concerned about the delight your daughter seems to be taking in all this?

Little Illythia: Go for the eyes mama! That is their weak point!

Onaga: Not really. Why?

------

Charu: Just stay calm! You have everything you need to beat it.

Cacti: The power to believe in myself?

Charu: No, a knife! Stab it!

------

Sektor: What would you of told dad of I died!

Michiko: Hey father, I got some good news and some bad news.

Michiko: The good news is we finally got room for that operation room you wanted.~

------

Shariah: *gets stabbed* HRKK! *Through gritted teeth* This is the greatest day of my life.

Shao Kahn: Do you mind!? I am trying to kill you!

------

Shao Kahn: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manor!

Nozomi: Well, how would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

------

Kronika: How did you know we were lying?

Fuyuka: Oh that's simple. I'm not an idiot.

Geras from the magma mold he's being held in: Yep, that'll do it.

------

Klaudia: Ok, sweetie, I'm gonna let you in a little known secret of comedy.

Klaudia: Bad things, aren't funny when they happen to mommy.

Little Ash: What about daddy?

Klaudia: Oh daddy's fair game. Go for the throat.

------

Ryder: Look. Do you wanna keep giving me shit? Or do you wanna figure a way out of here?

Red: Oh don't think I can't do both. I am quiet the multitasker!

------

Klaudia over the phone: Bust his kneecaps, then he'll talk. I gotta go, I'm in a meeting.

Klaudia: *hangs up the phone* So you said Ash was into finger painting? That's adorable.

------

Melantha: Nozomi wake up!

Nozomi: Five more minutes.

Melantha: You've been in a coma for two years!

Nozomi: Ok? Two more minutes.

------

Krow: Would you rather, kill Gae or-

Shinnok: Yes kill him!

Krow: I didn't say the other-

Shinnok: I don't need to hear it.

Gae: I'm feeling a little unsafe.

------

Kristy: It's like you're giving me the cold shoulder.

Kabal: Ok? You me to just heat it up for you?

------

Symphonia: Now you sing!

Someone random: HOW BOUT YOU SING? IT'S WHAT I PAYED YOU FOR!

Symphonia: *taking the microphone back* Alright tough crowd

------

Mavado: *Blows Kristy a kiss*

Kristy: *catches it then flushes it down the toilet*

------

Reiko: *Blows Nozomi a kiss*

Nozomi: *catches it then puts it in a blender*

------

Kamden: Drive!

Kristy: Why?

Kamden: I just robbed the bank! Drive!

Kristy: You what!?

Kamden: *holding up a pen* I took their pen from the front desk! Drive!

------

Reptile: Wanna go out?

Nyx: Oh sure! *starts leaving*

Reptile: Where are you going?

Nyx: Out! Farther away from you the better!

------

Some random dude to Satoru: Hey I like you. Let's go out sometime

Satoru, pulling out an adoption paper: Sign this for me will you?

Random dude: Uh. What is this?

Satoru: It's an adoption paper. I'm going to adopt you so you can never ask me that again

Random dude: You could've said no!

Satoru: *vaguely gesturing to his Ace ring and Aro hoodie* You could've read the signs!

------

Megumi: There's blood on your pants.

Terra: Don't call the cops alright?!

Megumi: Here's a tampon- wait what!?

Terra: Right! My period! I didn't kill anyone!

------

Tremor: What kind of spider is that?

Ayeka: I think it's a daddy long leg.

Tremor: Ok it's a good looking spider, but I wouldn't call it daddy.

Ayeka: Wait, what!?

------

Little Satoru: I have a gift for you Uncle Shi. *hands over a muffin*

Sektor: *smacks it away* I'm not stupid you piece of garbage!

Little Satoru: What?

Sektor: If you want me dead, let's fight right now!

@feistyfandomthings

@deepinthefog

@doodlewagonbug

@yuvononik

@yuvon

@toomanyf4ndoms7

@maddenedroses

@dontunderestimatemypoison

[averytiredbitch]

MK OC Randomness part 8... I think. Fuck it! We're going with it!

Welcome back to the shit show. Let's go!

also some of these jokes are from lamas with hats

Qiao Fu is my name for the Lin Kuei Grandmaster

Also some of these jokes are based off skits done by Moonkitti on YouTube. Just re-worded a bit

Nozomi: Hey uncle Shinnok! Do your old man voice!

Shinnok, in his normal voice: What old man voice?

Nozomi: Yeah! That one!

------

Nozomi: ooh who's this?

Qiao Fu: That's my old wife.

Nozomi: The one who died long ago?

Qiao Fu: The very same

Nozomi: *eyeing the picture* That's too bad. She looks really cute.

Qiao Fu: I'm sorry, do you find my old wife attractive?

Nozomi: Do you not!?

------

Nozomi: I wanna see my little boy!

Shang Tsung: *helping Meat walk* Here he comes!

Nozomi: *scooping Meat up and hugging him* I wanna see my little boy!

------

"Revenant" Reiki: WHY WOULD YOU THINK ANY OF THIS IS A GOOD IDEA!?

"Revenant" Michiko: Probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.

"Rev" Reiki: Oh.

"Rev" Michiko: I don't understand how you keep forgetting that.

------

Shinnok: Shh, do you hear that?

Shinnok: That's the sound of forgiveness.

Melantha: That's the sound of people dying dad!

Shinnok: That is what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence.

------

Shariah: How did you even do this!?

Meat: A dollop of fairy dust!

Shariah: Meat!

Meat: I ripped the tag off a mattress.

Shariah: This isn't funny Meat!

Meat: Who's laughing? Clearly not all the people that just exploded.

Shariah: I'm leaving! I've had enough of this!

Meat: But thank of all the perfectly roasted faces we get to munch on now.

Shariah: What? Why?

Meat: Because we're friends. And friendship is two pals munching on well cooked faces together.

------

"The bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in Hell! And yet, here you are limbo dancing with the devil!"- Melantha to Hotaru at a family dinner.

------

"Oh no. There are consequences to your actions? Who would've thought?" Krow to Raiden and Flamus, still pissed at them for completely destroying a village that housed the remaining nymphs and nymphlims their husband made.

------

Nozomi: I'm just here to collect Michiko

Qiao Fu: *tries to stab her*

Nozomi: YOU'RE AN UNFIT FATHER FU! THAT'S NOT EVEN YOUR DAUGHTER! YOU HAVE A HUMAN CHILD! WHO THE FUCK'S DEMON CHILD IS THAT! WHO ARE YOU STEALING CHILDREN FROM!?

------

Michiko: You are not my father!

Qiao Fu: Bring proof you are not my daughter!

Meixiu's ghost in the background: Bitch! You literally murdered her birth father!

------

Nyx: Get out

Reiko: Aww come on. Can't I check in on my favorite little sister?

Nyx: If you don't leave me my room Reiko, I will stab you. And when I do it won't look pretty.

Reiko: there's a pretty way to stab people? Like with a butterfly knife or something?

Nyx: yup. Handle and all.

Reiko: oh... OH!

------

Nemos: Greetings Thunder God!

Raiden: Eh? Nemos what are you doing here?

Nemos: I'm taking advantage of your guilt-ridden personality to get a head start on being a better realm protector while no one is looking.

Raiden: Nope. New timeline, new Raiden. Go- Go play with your sisters.

Nemos: I'll have you know I've lived 15 lives in which I've played with my sisters, and none of them have been consequential!

Raiden: *sighs* I'm trying to take you seriously. Really. But it just feels like an even smaller Shinnok is yelling at me right now.

------

Hotaru: *busting into the Sky Temple and picking up Nemos* My beautiful son, I am back from my epic battle of driving out the rebels!

Nemos: Tell me, man who sired me!

Hotaru: We were fighting when suddenly Soldier B produced a substance that burned through their skin!

Nozomi: That sounds like my poison...

Hotaru: Oh no! We'd never poison anyone. Only ambush them in the middle of the night, kill them through physical violence, and intimidate them in other wise orderly court proceedings. Poison is bad.

Nozomi: Have you considered maybe, asking him if he poisoned them?

Hotaru: Oh no, I trust him completely.

Melantha: *holding Discordia and Harmonia* But, what if he did?

Hotaru: *small whimper before glaring and shouting* Solider B! Come here and apologize to my wife for making her think about things immediately!

Solider B: Hi, what?

Hotaru: I said apologize to Melantha!

Solider B: Uh yeah, sorry for poisoning the rebels or something..

Melantha: Hey, has anyone seen Nemos?

------

Darrius: It seems one of the soldiers has summoned Melantha to their side.

Hotaru: *spying on the rebels* Gonna go see Melantha. I'm gonna see Melantha at the meeting. Gonna see Melantha. Melantha.

------

OB: I made a perfectly good Titan

Fuyuka: You fucked up my daughter is what you did!

Fuyuka: Look at her! She's traumatized!

------

Amara: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Leila: I think you mean cards.

Amara, pulling knives out of her sleeves: No, I do not.

------

Ermac: Bad things keep happening to us, like we have bad luck or something.

Zyta: Ermac, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

------

Zyta: You love me, right, Ermac?

Ermac: Normally, we’d say yes without hesitation, but we feel like this is going somewhere and we don’t like it.

------

Kristy: *steps on her glasses by accident*

Kristy: *inhales* If I knew that this would be the fate that befalls me and these damned glasses, I would've just let the fire reach my left eye and burn it out completely!

------

Megumi: I turned out perfectly fine!

Ayeka: Megumi, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast

Megumi: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

------

Zyta: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!

Philomela: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

------

Discordia, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

Harmonia: You did WHAT–

Nemos: William Snakepeare

------

Discordia: Hey Harmonia,

Harmonia: Yes?

Discordia: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Harmonia:

Harmonia: Where’s Nemos?

------

Discordia: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Harmonia: Discordia no.

Nemos: Mistlefoe.

Harmonia: Please stop encouraging her.

------

Store Worker: Would a Ms. Philomela please come to the front desk?

Philomela, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: *points to Amara and Zyta*

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Amara and Zyta, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Philomela: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

------

Erron, driving Ash and Kamden: So how was your day?

Ash: We almost got surprise adopted!

Erron: What?

Kamden: We almost got kidnapped.

Erron: Oh, okay.

Erron: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

------

Nozomi: Welcome, fellow idiots

Kung Lao: Hello, Nozomi

Nozomi: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot

Kung Lao: You underestimate me

------

Nozomi: What are your goals?

Kung Lao: To pet all the dogs.

Nozomi: No, fitness goals.

Kung Lao: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

------

Liu Kang: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Nozomi: That's why I carry two swords.

------

Sareena: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Michiko's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get her out...

------

Sareena: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Michiko: You mean literally or figuratively?

Sareena: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

------

Sareena: Michiko... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Michiko: Your text told me to Satanize the house before you returned.

Sareena:

Sareena: I wrote sanitize, Michiko.

------

Sareena: You kill people for money?!

Michiko: I can explain!

Sareena: And all this time I’ve been doing it for free like a chump!

@deepinthefog @merplderpl @yuvononik @dontunderestimatemypoison @feistyfandomthings @toomanyf4ndoms7 @daddydestrey @tora-lotus @calcium1790 @starneko123 @dinogoofy @bar10du @cyberbloodgoddess