#just for the clout & it makes me laugh

[runthepockets]

Lets be honest with ourselves. Death Grips is pretty much only a meme band cus suburban white kids think black people are funny. Memes of MC Ride sitting and eating a fucking sandwich at Subway was soon as kooky whacky edgy stuff that you could post for a cheap laugh, photos of him painting with his cat were "surreal" for a lot of people. You never saw people circulating their interviews or sharing pictures and videos of him when he was younger and expressing really profound thoughts on art and music and politics, even though all of those things are very easily accessible online, cus that's not gonna get you clout.

I really don't get it. Like, yeah, Death Grip's sound is probably pretty jarring if you're not used to heavier music, but it wears off after a while. They're a Punk band with Industrial and Hip Hop elements, of course they scream and have politically charged messages and whatnot, so does every artist in each of those genres. Of course the guy has a fucking life outside of screaming on a stage, every artist does. You never see people making memes of Black Flag or Skinny Puppy for doing the same shit, you don't even really see memes of the other two members in the very same band doing the shit they do, despite being just as erratic and unorthodox as their frontman.

This is why I don't believe people when they tell me a song or band is a meme because people like the song / band in question, I think they are just making fun of people and treating art like a game solely because the art in question doesn't fit their scant little worldview. Shit's so lame.

[bibleofficial]

i am SO glad i made a list of what i need to do tonight & tomorrow bc i’ve already started drinking - i even got that in the list: ‘make a drink,’ right after ‘piss’

[saetoru]

i think you‘re overreacting, blue lock is *very* popular rn and before weren‘t you in the genshin fandom????? that is ding ding ding! popular too. You like sae and he‘s bingo! very popular and so is alhaitham, i assume thats the dude in genshin you like? anyways, you‘re overreacting and you‘re not as important as you think you are! you were pretty relevant a year ago but now? nope, you‘re annoying but nice to laugh at!

i think ur silly because you don’t have half the context of what i’m talking about !! and it’s not about sae or alhaitham or blue lock or genshin bc guess what…those r not not what i was talking about bc i didn’t specify !! anyway continue laughing while i have triple ur following count <3

[sainzproductions]

𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 ⋆ 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐬 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐳

wherein the internet hates you for breaking poor charles's heart; so you move on to his best mate.

[charles leclerc x ex!socialite reader, carlos sainz x socialite!reader]

liked by danielricciardo, carlossainz55 and 103,740 others

yourusername when in spain...💗

username oop here she comes with her daily raphael clout

username poor raphael for having you as his mother🙄🤭

username i have to laugh, she's clearly using all of charles's child support to fund her lifestyle😂

username are you on crack?? her family owns about everything in italy🙄🙄

username i think she likes being bullied on social media

username so glad charles woke up from your manipulations🥰

username probably shagged some ugly bald dude for her luxurious lifestyle

username charles doesn't want you anymore girl, stay the fuck away from him

username when all the money in the world can't buy you class...

username poor charles, having to be stuck with such a vile woman🤢🤮

username y'all in the comments ugly as fuck, as if charles would fuck you even if you threw yourself at him😒

username the matchings shoes arghhhh!!😍

username how come you never let raphael spend some time with charles?

carlossainz55 posted a story

comments

username the silhouette looking a bit too familiar...

username who is she??

username carlos come home, the kids miss you😭😭

username i will block you fr

username alexa play happier by olivia rodrigo

username shirtless pics or it didn't happen

username are you in majorca?

liked by 508,495 others

SHOWBUZZF1 The Sainz family are pictured in what looks to be, a merry family get together with a surprise addition to their group, Y/n Y/l/n. The italian heiress appeared to be in cahoots with the Sainz clan, and even more so with Carlos Jr. It is unsure wether the pair are formally seeing eachother, as both parties declined to comment on the issue.

username WHAT IN THE FUCKING HOMIE HOPPER LORE IS THIS

username carlos, look at me, this isn't you!!!

username probably just a means to have stronger backing in italy

username carlos she's a W H O R E😭😭😭

username time to delete instagram

ussrname i fucking hate all of you, y'all was hating on her for no reason, now she's giving us all a reason

username hooking up with charles AND carlos in the same life time???!! i aint even mad girly😮‍💨😮‍💨

username SHUT UP NO THEY'RE NOTHING

username f1 is about to be interesting againnnnn

username i got a hundred band get that bitch the fuck out of here😭

username you ugly whores made this happen😭 if y'all wasn't taking your insecurities out on the poor girl🙃🙃

username he's the father that stepped up🗣️🗣️🗣️

username so carlos is a daddy??? wbk

username what is with rbr boys and why do they keep taking other people's women🤭

username it's the sebastian vettel way of life

username wait did he also steal other people's girl?

username no, i was just talking about not giving two fucks😂

yourusername posted a story

comments

username she makes me so mad for no reason omf

username stay away from carlos!!

username keep being mad, she clearly does not care😂😂

username are you fr seeing carlos??

username raphael is watching cars😍

username you're a disgusting attention seeking fame f*cker

username is that carlos?? are you with him??

[the-offside-rule]

Charles Leclerc (Scuderia Ferrari) - It's Always Been You

Requested: yes

Prompt: 4) "You deserve better."

Warnings: nope, but long iwl

As the paddock seemed normal in it's all too familiar business and loudness, Y/n found solace in between hospitality lounges, with the stacks of Red Bull Racing tyres as her only form of company. The scent of rubber and gasoline enveloped her as she sought refuge from the shattered pieces of her heart. Tears streaked down her cheeks, leaving a trail of black from her eyeliner. As the sister of Max Verstappen, Y/n was no stranger to the high-speed world of Formula 1. Her heart, however, had taken an unexpected detour when she fell for Carlos Sainz, the charming driver who had once occupied a special place in her life. She remembers when she first met him, back when her twin and him were teammates. There was always casual flirting but then when Y/n finished up school in 2016, the pair began going on dates since her visits to the paddock became more and more common, then becoming basically constant once they made it official. They were the it couple and it felt like no other couple could compare. How they looked at eachother, how they spoke of one another, it seemed too good good be true...until the faithful night after the Singapore Grand Prix win when Carlos decided to call it quits.

The music pulsed through the air as Carlos downed one shot after another, his laughter filling the space. Y/n, his girlfriend, tried to catch his attention, but he seemed oblivious, lost in the sea of people. "Carlos? I  wanna go dance." Y/n said. "Yeah, sure. Go ahead." Carlos replied, turning back to his group of instagram models who fanned over him, all desperate for the same thing; dick and clout. She rolled her eyes and walked away. "Fine, do whatever." As she walked away, the girls began giggling at her little outburst and Carlos didn't once stick up for Y/n. He was never like this before. He wasn't even like this at their romantic dinner the night before. But Y/n got on with it and did what she wanted to do; dance.

As she lost herself in the music, a man managed to gather the courage and make his way towards her. "Hey gorgeous." The stranger smiled, dancing along with Y/n. Since Carlos was surrounded by these stupid instagram models, the least Y/n could do was talk to a guy surely. "Hey." Their conversation continued until the topic of relationships came up, to which Y/n said that she had a boyfriend.

"I don't see him." The stranger grinned, leaning closer. "Well, you see that guy up there with the huge bottle of champagne?" The guy nodded. "That's my boyfriend. Carlos. He just won the Grand Prix a few hours ago." The stranger looked between the spaniard and Y/n. "He looks occupied." He said, referring to the hoard of girls surrounding him. "Honestly, who gives a fuck. The only reason he won it was because Red Bull had a fuck up." The man laughed at Y/n's drunken joke, but she couldn't help but feel bad for undermining her boyfriend's hard work.

As she swayed with her newfound dance partner, Carlos watched from afar, a twinge of jealousy gnawing at him. His strides became purposeful, marching towards the dancing couple. His vision blurry, he poked the stranger. He turned. "Hey, you're Y/n's boyfriend. How you doing man?" He asked, putting his hand out. Carlos slapped it away. "Yeah, whatever. Who are you?" Y/n arched a brow at the sudden rudeness of Carlos. "I've been talking to Y/n since you've been occupied." He joked. "Are you accusing me of cheating on my girlfriend?"

"Carlos, what the fuck?" Y/n asked. "I didn't mean to-"

"No, no, I know what you want and you're not going to get it." Carlos began shoving the guy. "Because when I go back to my hotel room, I'm going to have her on her knees and screaming my name, while you sit by yourself with your left hand doing all the work-"

Carlos was silenced by a hard thump to the face, that ended with both his lip and nose bleeding. Carlos stumbled back, holding his nose. "Carlos!" Y/n rushed to his side, concern etched across her face. "Carlos, we need to leave. This is getting out of hand." He pushed her away, his drunken gaze defiant. "I don't need you. I can handle myself." Ignoring her, he swung at the guy, completely missing him and falling to the floor. "Carlos, we're going." Y/n repeated, this time more stern. Carlos scoffed and despite the chaos, Y/n managed to guide Carlos outside and hailed a cab. The ride home was tense, filled with silence interrupted only by the distant sounds of the city nightlife.

As Y/n scanned their key card, Carlos lay against the wall beside the door, looking at Y/n with pure hatred in his eyes. "You're such a bitch sometimes." He muttered. Y/n turned to him. "Excuse me?" The door beeped and Carlos practically burst it down. "You heard me. You're You're a bitch sometimes." Y/n closed the door behind her and followed Carlos to the bed where he kicked off his shoes. "How am I a bitch? People were filming you and I don't think you want to answer to your PR people tomorrow morning." Y/n rolled her eyes and sat down on the sofa, taking her heels off promptly. "Okay? You're still a bitch. I could have taken him."  Y/n's frustration bubbled over as she demanded an explanation. "Carlos, what's going on? Why are you acting like this?"

Carlos glared at her, venom in his words. "I'm tired of this, Y/n. I don't want you in my life anymore." Stunned, Y/n pleaded. "Carlos, what are you tired of? We don't argue ever. Please, let's talk about it in the morning. You're drunk, and we can figure things out then." But Carlos was resolute. "No, I want you gone now. Pack your things and leave." Her eyes flickered as a few tears had fallen.

"You're so shit at this mate!" Max cackled, taking another sip of his beer whilst Pierre missed yet another goal on FIFA. The hotel room was filled with laughter as a few drivers had finished their clubbinv prematurely to instead play a few games of FIFA. The camaraderie and banter echoed through the room, creating a light atmosphere that temporarily eased the pressures of the racing world. Amid the gaming frenzy, a sudden knock on the door disrupted the jovial mood. "I'll get it." Charles said, walking towards the door. He expected some food from room service since they paid for it, but instead he was surprised to find Y/n Verstappen standing there, tears streaming down her face. "Hi, Charles." She sniffled.

"Y/n. Are you okay? What happened?" Charles asked, genuine concern etched on his face. Y/n, struggling to compose herself, managed to choke out. "Is Max here?"

Charles nodded, realizing something serious must have transpired. He stepped aside, allowing Y/n to enter the room. "Max? It's Y/n." The laughter hushed as the other drivers sensed the shift in the atmosphere. Max stood up. "Y/n? What's wrong?" A few words had been spoken in Dutch and it seemed that each word Y/n said, made Max angrier. The other drivers simply watched on, wanting to see what happened. "Where is he?" Max demanded in a demanding tone. "Max, please don't. That's the last thing I need tonight." Y/n pleaded. "No, I'm getting dad and we are sorting this." Max replied. "Max, no! He'll kill him!"

"And I will bury him. Don't worry about it." The drivers shared glances amongst one another as the siblings had run out of the room, closing the door behind them. "Are we going to see what happens or what?" Charles asks. "Seems like family stuff. I am leaving them to it." Pierre replied. "Seems logical." Lando added. Charles groaned as he left the room, following the sounds of loud shouting in both Dutch and English.

He looked down to see two figures banging on Carlos' door. "You don't treat my sister like this!" Max shouted as Y/n pulled from his arm, trying to deter him. "Max! Stop!" Charles shouted, trying to mediate, urging everyone to calm down. "If someone did this to your sister, you'd you'd the same!" Max shouted back at Charles. "Max! Not here! There are people trying to sleep." Charles said, reasoning with the dutchman. The commotion drew the attention of hotel staff and even a few curious guests. "Get out here, you fucking pussy!" Max had begun kicking the door now, not caring if it broke and deciding he'd worry about it if the door did break. The chaos continued until Max's father, joined the fray. The yelling and banging intensified, creating a scene that could be heard throughout the hotel.

Eventually, the rage subsided, as everyone agreed that Carlos must have passed out drunk and that it was a conversation best having in the morning. Max and Jos walked away as Charles stood by Y/n, tear-stained and emotionally drained. "Do you have a place to stay?" Charles asked. "I'm sure your brother wouldn't mind letting you stay." Y/n shook her head. "No. They're playing FIFA I don't want to have to kick them all out." Y/n replied. "Then I'll let you have my bed and Ill sleep on the floor." Charles offered. She smiled. "As nice as you're being right now, I don't need your pity. Im just going to fall asleep in my room and deal with this in the morning." She said. "Y/n, you can't possibly do that. I wouldn't wouldn't sleep in the same bed as him. You deserve better." Before Charles could even trg to convince her, she opened the door, re-entered her and Carlos' hotel room and closed it again without another word.

She had moved on from Carlos. In all honesty, she hadn't heard a lot from him. That was until she had come to her first Grand Prix single in 8 years. It felt weird not having someone to hold hands with, but she got on with it, showing her poker face and pretending not to care about her recent breakup. As she walked, she noticed an all too familiar spaniard, holding a gorgeous woman in his arms. It was a model, a model Y/n had seen on the catwalk of the Ferrari fashion event. That's where they must have met...back when Carlos was still in a relationship with Y/n. And that's how she found herself hiding like a kid scared of the dark, in between the Red Bull and Ferrari hospitality where no one could find her.

"Are you okay?" Y/n jumped as she wiped her eyes. "I- yeah. I'm fine. Who are-" She paused as she looked up to see Charles walking towards her. "What are you doing here?" Charles asked. "Inspecting the tyres, you?" Y/n replied quickly, drying her eyes. "Talking with the tyre inspector." Charles replied, sitting down next to her. Y/n looked up, her eyes swollen but grateful for the company. "Why are you crying?" Charles asked. "It's just-" Yhe tears had started again. "Carlos' new girlfriend is so much prettier, and she's so much skinnier and her hair is different, her eyes are different, we are just nothing alike and Carlos is just so happy with her." Y/n sobbed. Charles wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer to him as her tears stained his red shirt. "He's moved on and I'm sat, befriending stacks of tyres."

"Well that's not true. I'm not a stack of tyres, am I?" Y/n chuckled at the light hearted joke Charles had made. "No, no you're not." She replied. "You seem to be much nicer to talk to than a set of tyres, to be fair." Unbeknownst to her, Charles had been silently witnessing the intricate dance of emotions unfolding in the paddock. His infatuation with Y/n had started years ago, at one of Max's early kart races.

"Charles, you cut me off there! You could've caused a crash," Max argued, frustration evident in his voice. Charles, eager to impress Y/n, tried to maintain composure. "Max, I had the racing line! You should've anticipated my move." He chuckled, looking over to Y/n subtly to see her reaction. "Anticipated? You came out of nowhere!" Max shot back. As Charles vehemently defended his position, Y/n couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. She expected a spirited rivalry, but Charles's insistence on being right grated on her nerves.

"Charles, back down. You know I'm right." Max urged, trying to defuse the tension. Yet, Charles, fueled by both competitiveness and a desire to impress, doubled down. "Max, I won't back down when I'm right." The harder Charles pushed, the more Y/n saw a side of him she didn't like. She began to see why Max always yelled about how much of a diclhead Charles was and she fully agreed now. "Charles, seriously, I will be to the stewards about it." Max insisted, the frustration evident in his tone. But Charles, in his pursuit of proving himself, didn't heed the advice. As the argument escalated, Y/n couldn't help but feel a growing distaste for Charles.

"You know what, Charles? Forget it. We're done talking," Max declared, grabbing his helmet and walking away with Y/n behind him. "Hij is een klootzak." Y/n muttered. "Ah, dus nu zie je die kant van hem?"

"Why are you even here? Don't you hate me?" Y/n asked, too tired to move her head from his shoulder. Charles sighed. "I never hated you, Y/n. You started hating me so I pretended to hate you back." Her brow furrowed in confusion. "But you always seemed so distant, so cold." Charles cast his gaze downward, confessing, "I didn't want Max to think I was interfering. I liked you from when I was in karting, but you started dating Carlos and I just gave up."

"I wish I had known, Charles," Y/n admitted, wiping away tears. "I could've used a friend." Charles offered a reassuring smile. "Well, you have one now. And if you'll let me, maybe more than just a friend." She sighed. "As much as I would love to, I just don't think I'm ready to have a boyfriend, let alone date my ex's teammate." Y/n replied. "That's fine. He's out of a Ferrari seat for next year anyway." Y/n smiled. "Listen, I don't care how long it takes. I've waited like what, 15 years already? I may as well hold on for another while."

[multi-fandom-imagine]

So, but of an elaborate request, but-

Reader that works for Vox as an actress or any other type of TV celebrity being comforted by either Alastor, Husk or Angel because Vox yelled at her, practically cussed her out and made her cry.

(Love your fics btw!!)

A/n: You're so sweet 😩, also why not all three 👏.

•Alastor•

Alastor knew it was you the moment you stepped into the Radio broadcast room. He could see tears running down your cheeks and he already knew what fucker was to blame.

Stepping close to you, the demon did his best to push away his anger. He knew Vox was taking his anger out on you because of him. What he wouldn't do to ring his scrawny little neck.

Brushing away a tear, Alastor clicked his tongue then pulled you into his body. He had to bend down to hold you but he did his best to comfort you.

"Now now dear, do not fret nor worry about what that clout chasing mediocre podcast says about you."

Letting out a few more sniffles you looked up at him smiling weakly. "Really?"

"Oh course dear, now let me deal with Vox. He will never make you shed anymore tears."

•Husk•

You were quiet when you sat down on the bar stool, your head resting on the table. He could see you held tears in your eyes, that you were doing your best to not sob. He hated seeing you cry, hated it because it meant that he couldn't do a thing about it.

He felt useless, he felt like a loser.

Wings twitching he made his way over to you, you looked so pretty in that dress. You had so much talent, to much talent for that jackass. Shaking his head he let out a grunt pulling you into his chest not caring about your tears soaking.

"He yelled at me again, the things he said....I'm so fucking stupid. Why do I keep doing this Husk? I just want to sing, I like what I do but I dont know how much longer of this I can take."

Frowning, Husk let his head rest onto of your head as he let his claw run down your back gently. "Forget what that freak says to you. You have more talent than that hack darling." Maybe he go do something to fuck Vox up, ya that's what he'll do.

He'a not gonna let that bastard get away with making you cry.

"Now can you give me a smile? Don't let that prick ruin the fun we might have."

Letting out a weak laugh you looked up at him with a weak smile. "Fun? What kind of fun."

"Whatever you like love."

•Angle Dust•

<Friendship pairing>

If there was one thing Anthony understood was the shared pain he felt with you. He did his best to hide the abuse he received from Valentine, just like you did the same with Vox. But he hated it, he hated that someone with your talent was being wasted on that bastard.

Peaking at your crying face, he knew you were trying to stay strong and he hated it. He hated it because you helped him through everything and you were doing this for him so he wouldn't worry.

"Why ya cryin over a freak like that!" Anthony did his best to cheer you up but it seemed to make you even more miserable. "Come on hot stuff."

Taking a step towards you, Angel dust gave you a grin pulling you close. "I got a sexy little number for ya to make a certain bar tender to stumble over his words. You guy's will be makin babies soon enough.."

A light laugh escaped your lips, Vox'a treatment of you completely vanishing through your mind. "You really think me wearing this would make Husk lose his mind?"

"Sugar, if it doesn't then you always have Lucifer." Anthony gave you a wink as he shoved the skimpy number in your arms. "Now hurry up and change...I gotta see his reaction."

[goqmir]

the thing about "sharpie cube" in magic the gathering (the concept of taking cards (usually inexpensive commons) and blacking out text so that they do different things, which is trendy right now) is like. SO many people black out the card so that the only thing it does is some weird thing outside of the game. hhere im not sure i can explain this well let me make one and show you.

heres an example of the type of shit i see people make online. target creature you control cums. now i dont know about you but in my experience magic the gathering doesnt have rules for when a creature orgasms. so what does this do? i dont think this card would do anything. maybe the gimmick here is that rules are written on the fly as you play the card? like you could say this card actually creates a splooge token or some shit? idk. i think im too pedantic about card game rules to make sense of playing with cards like this. as far as i can tell for most people posting cards like this theyre just meant to be a "make the table laugh once" card which might i remind you is in a cube format meant to be drafted. so nobody is ever picking this thing. idk maybe im being a buzzkill on people posting funny cards for internet post clout but i prefer my magic the gathering limited experience to make sense thank you

[holly-the-trash-writer]

An honest mistake on TV leads to you and Timothée going back and forth on Instagram

Timothèe Chalamet x Famous!Reader

Face Claim Jenna Ortega

A/n I love social media AUs.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

alllthingsy/n

Liked by y/nnnnnn and 1,734 others

allthingsy/n In Y/n's autocomplete interview she said her biggest celeb crush is Timothee Chalamet. Like. Gurl same. 😍

View all 643 comments

rosiecheeks She was so cute in that interview 🥹

y/nqueen I feel like I know so much more about her now

holllyaddams She's just like ussssss

timotheeee I'd die for him ngl

y/nlife Why do I ship it?

celebgossip

Liked by tchalametttt and 32,827 others

celebgossip Timothée Chalamet on The Late Late Show admits he doesn't know who Y/n L/n is. When asked about her recent admittance that he is her celeb crush, the Little Women actor replied with "Who dat?" A little bit awkward for Miss L/n.

View all 1,834 comments

hannahbee He said it and laughed, he wasnt being rude???? Ppl make shit from nothing

rihannaisbae Please. She does two movies and thinks she's the shit.

ryanslife Exactly. Who tf is she?

y/nnn Star of the Number 1 show on Netflix rn?????? Stop clowning 🤡

bibaby He better be playin 💀😭

sarahwicks he be lying for the clout stg

itsgiving She's at home crying rn

Texts Between Zendaya and Timothée

yourinstagram

Liked by zendaya, florencepugh and 11,245,175 others

yourinstagram Do you know me now? @.elle

View all 83,384 comments

elle 🩷🩷

arianagrande ❤️‍🔥

melissabarrera That's my sister 🥹😍

Liked by yourinstagram

jack_quaid I think you'll find I'M the scream queen

yourinstagram You the ✨️drama✨️ queen

scream21fan She really said do you know me now 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 we stann

y/nismother Not her calling out Timmy 💀

y/nstann I'm SCREAMING

timmyfan @.tchalamet @.tchalamet

britney.bitch 🩷Barbie🩷Era🩷

randomguy32 @.tchalamet

Texts Between Florence Pugh and Timothée

tchalamet

Liked by yourinstagram, florencepugh and 5,328,754 others

tchalamet Hi Barbie👋🏻🩷

View all 5,734 comments

user194 Guysssssss is this beefing or is this flirting?!

user92 This is flirting 💯

user724 Have they even met each other? He said he doesn't know Y/n???

elle 🩷🩷

user23 @.elle ships it

florencepugh A King 😍

Liked by tchalamet

tomholland2013 Real men wear pink

Liked by tchalamet

user847 No such thing as coincidence

user1748 This is a response to Y/n we ALL know it!!!!

user01 Y/n's in the likes!! 🚨🚨

user9374 @.yourinstagram @.yourinstagram

Posted on tchalamet IG story 1min Ago.

melissaandy/n

Liked by user91843 and 1,837 others

melissaandy/n I'm losing my MIND. Melissa posted this on her story a week after Timothee Chalamet posted him standing in front of Y/n's Wednesday poster. WHATS HAPPENING?!?!

View all 827 comments

user8273 I don't get it???

user61535 Dune is Timothees movie

user8273 Yeah but what's happening???

user16 Basically. Y/n said Timothee was her celeb crush. When Tim got asked about her he said Who dat. Y/n posted her Elle cover and said Do you know me now? And THEN Tim posted two pics of him in pink suits saying Hi Barbie (Y/ns Elle shoot was in pink) AND THEN Tim took a pic of him in front of a Wednesday poster saying Ever feel like the universe is tryna tell you something? Me either. And now we're here. No one knows if they beefing or joking

user177 Previously on.... 🤣🤣🤣

user8883 I'm soooo here for this

user0374 I can't put my damn phone down

user1273 No but seriously... are they beefing or no?

user1736 Nahhh. This is pure banter

user8174 agreed.

user8827 Totally. They're making a big joke out of it

[lesbianralzarek]

tumblr in reddit terms

blogs: personal subreddits where the theme/topic is 99% of the time just “me and whatever the hell i feel like at the moment”. for reference, the most common other theme rn is “wizard roleplay that never breaks character”

reblogs: crossposts. these are crucial to maintaining tumblr’s ecosystem. due to blogs generally having fewer followers than subreddits have subscribers, this is the way that posts get seen and passed around. the vast majority of posts on a person’s blog tend to be reblogs, so if the people you follow dont reblog a whole lot, your dashboard is gonna be a ghost town. post limit (combined total of reblogs and original posts per day) is 250, so feel free to go hog wild

tags: this one is complicated. theyre a combination of flairs and Comments But Low-key. you can use them for organization and to avoid seeing content you dont want to (go to your blog, settings, account settings, content you see, and then add tags you want tumblr to warn you about before seeing it). if op tags the post #reddit (in the tags, not the body of the post), itll show up in the #reddit tag when anyone searches that tag. tags are also used for comments that dont really add anything to the post. you know how a jpeg gets kinda gross when its been through a million screenshots and has ifunny watermarks and shit? thats what adding “lmao same” as a comment does to a post. comments stay on reblogs, while tags show up in 4 places: op’s notifications, the notifs of whoever you reblogged it from, when someone clicks on the “notes” button of a post and actively looks for the tags left on it, and when people view your specific reblog of the post (like a follower would on their dashboard)

likes: upvotes but weaker. almost everyone turns off all the algorithms (settings, account settings, dashboard preferences, toggle off the first 3 options. also, make sure your dashboard is on "following" and not "for you". this is highly recommended), so leaving a like doesnt boost the post in any way. they still matter to some people. you can also use them to bookmark a post and go back to your likes later

enthusiastic and/or hyperbolic tags: reddit gold. you wanna let op know you like their art? leave something like ”#printing this out and stapling it to my forehead #op you wanna get married?” in the tags

pornbots: both reddit and tumblr have an issue with them. we block and report them on sight. they usually have hot women as their icons, no posts or reblogs, and a description like “22, brazil, nurse <3″. try to not look like that if you dont wanna get blocked by everyone you follow

blocking: you have this as well, but it seems like a bigger deal on reddit. the reason we are not twitter is because we block bitches who annoy us and move on with our day. do not feed the trolls

things we dont have:

karma: clout-chasing is The Most embarrassing thing you can possibly do on this site. we are all in this circus together and the clown who gets the most laughs is still a clown. popular users will literally deactivate sometimes because clout is a burden. no one here makes money

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hey there sex witch! This one might be a little bit out of your wheelhouse, but I don't really have anyone else to ask 😅 and this seems mostly relevant to what you talk about.

So recently I (a very shy person for a long time) have gotten pretty active in some fandom discord communities, and I've been making a ton of friends. Which is great because I used to have social anxiety to the point where I could barely talk to people, especially online. The problem is that my new friends are all VERY horny, all the time. Which, great for them, I don't really feel the same way. They're also very interested in ERP and other varieties of e-sex and often ask if I want to join. I really don't, but it's fine that they're into that. One guy in particular is really starting to freak me out though. He's a semi-popular creator and a mod on one of the servers. He's becoming a pretty good friend of mine and I play online games with him and others a bunch. He, like the rest of the crowd, is also very horny all the time. He often makes sexual comments about me, sometimes very graphic ones. Stuff like telling me to take my clothes off IRL while on call with him or saying stuff like "I want to fuck you until you cry" or just dming me asking if I want to have sex with him. Sometimes he notices that his comments make me uncomfortable and he did reach out to sincerely apologize for it once, but he hasn't changed his behavior a whole lot.

The big thing that worries me about him is the fact that he's 28. I'm 18, just graduated high school. He knows this about me. He does a very good job of keeping his server 18+ and would never make a sexual comment about a minor, but is still comfortable doing sexual things with people ten years younger than him. Another thing is that even though I've told him I already have a boyfriend, he assumes I'm in an open relationship even though I never told him I was. My boyfriend also says this guy kinda freaks him out and that he's a little worried about me.

I know that age gaps between older people can be perfectly healthy and problems arising from them vary pretty heavily from person to person, but I'm not entirely sure if this is ok or not. This guy doesn't want to hurt anyone. Have I probably just not properly expressed my boundaries with him? It's not like he's targeting me or anything, he acts this way with basically everyone. I'm torn on what to do, he's still my friend and I like him otherwise. Should I just keep laughing it off? I am uncomfortable but I guess it's not a huge deal to me. Should I stop talking to this guy?? Help??

🐟🐟 So I can find this quickly if/when you answer it

hi 🐟🐟,

this guy fucking sucks and needs to be banned from interacting with maybe anyone until he learns what "no" means. literally every individual thing you've described him doing would be alarming in it's own, but altogether this man is a walking collection of red flags. this is not your friend and this is not a guy who cares about your boundaries or well-being; this is a man using his fandom clout to sexually harass you (and likely others). him being ten years older than you isn't even really the biggest issue here; all of this would be shithead behavior even if you were exactly the same age.

get out of there, double fish.

[sheyfu]

"𝐦𝐢 𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐚, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞"

》 𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝗂𝗍𝗈𝗌𝗁𝗂 𝗌𝖺𝖾 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 (all characters featured are aged up!!)

》 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗋𝖾: 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿, 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾𝖽𝗒, 𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍?

》 𝖼𝗐: 𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀; 𝗌𝖺𝖾 𝗀𝖾𝗍𝗌 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖺𝗌𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝗒 𝖺 𝗐𝗈𝗆𝖺𝗇 (𝖾𝗋𝗆); 𝗌𝖺𝗂𝖽 𝗐𝗈𝗆𝖺𝗇 𝖻𝖺𝖽-𝗆𝗈𝗎𝗍𝗁𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎; 𝖺𝗅𝖼𝗈𝗁𝗈𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗆; 𝗈𝗅𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝖺𝗂𝗄𝗎; 𝗅𝗈𝗍𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌; 𝗋𝖾𝗉𝖾𝗍𝗂𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗉𝗁𝗋𝖺𝗌𝖾𝗌; 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝗀 𝖻𝗎𝗂𝗅𝖽 𝗎𝗉 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖺𝗇𝗍𝗂-𝖼𝗅𝗂𝗆𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗂𝖼 𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀; 𝗈𝗍𝗈𝗒𝖺 𝖾𝗂𝗍𝖺; 𝗍𝗋𝗂𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗇𝖼𝗈𝗋𝗉𝗈𝗋𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗆𝗒 𝗀𝗈𝗈𝖿 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗂𝗍 𝖽𝗂𝖽𝗇’𝗍 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗌𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗂’𝗆 𝗌𝗍𝗎𝖼𝗄 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺 𝖼𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 :(; 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗈𝖼𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗋𝖾𝖽; 𝗌𝖺𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝖻𝖺𝖻𝗅𝗒 𝗈𝗈𝖼 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗐𝗍𝗏; 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗈𝖿𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽; 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝖺 𝖻𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋 (𝗌𝖺𝖽) 😓😓

》 𝗐𝖼: 1064 (longest piece of dookie i've written)

you were currently with itoshi sae attending, in his words, “a stupid clout chasing event for influencers to leech on footballers”, listening to shidou ryusei ramble about how he and otoya eita randomly bumped into beyoncé in the shibuya train station, when you suddenly felt the need to go to the lavatory. just when he was getting to the good part. silently excusing yourself, you let go of sae’s hand as you made a beeline towards the venue’s bathroom. 

meanwhile outside, while shidou was telling the group about how beyoncé called him a sweetheart after getting his shirt signed, a young woman approaches the football stars’ table and sits down beside sae, interrupting whatever the loudmouth was going to say next. the whole group looks at her with question marks above their heads as she makes herself comfortable beside the prodigy. 

excuse me but, who are you? isagi yoichi was the first to speak up, eyeing the woman with a raised eyebrow. “oh! my bad! forgot to introduce myself, whoopsies!” she said with a laugh so annoying, sae almost physically winced. “i’m kento mirai! but you can call me mai for short!! i’m currently modeling for abibas!! oh also! i’ve worked with sae before, you could say we have a lot of chemistry together, right sae darling?” her high-pitched voice rings in sae’s ears as he tries not to roll his eyes at the woman. 

it’s not a lie though. but it’s not exactly true. yes, they’ve worked together for the brand but the chemistry she was talking about was simply a tale—they had no chemistry at all. everyday at the scene, she was always either beside sae or looking for sae, and even forcing herself into his personal space. it had gotten so bad to the point that sae was very tempted to call the project manager and drop it. but of course, his manager talked his ear off saying if he did decide to call mister PM, he’d reduce the player’s consumption of his beloved ichibo steak to only once a month—what a jerk. 

anyways. 

his trance is cut off by the thing beside him, talking her ear off. my head hurts. sae grimaces as he looks around the venue to look for you, spotting you by the bar ordering some drinks from him and you. perfect. just at the right time, mi amor. 

he stands up but just as he was about to go to you, a harsh grip on his wrist is enough to tear his eyes away from you. he looks down to his captor’s hand with a raised eyebrow. “what do you want, woman?” he jerks his arm away from her yet she doesn’t let go. he looks again at your direction and he sees that you’re gone. he panics. yet for some reason, he can’t get away from this woman’s grip. “saeeee.” she whines. “don’t leave yet! I’m not yet done talking to you!”

now. sae isn’t a fan of hurting women—he’s a fan of women! they’re really amazing, yeah. but at this moment, he suddenly wants to abandon all his feminism and push her off a cliff. tch. 

“hey man, d’ya think we should ya know, ask her to leave?” sae hears chigiri hyoma’s worried voice whisper to oliver aiku. please do. sae inwardly pleads to the gods above as he side eyes the pair. “nah, ‘s getting ‘ntresting.” aiku slurs, clearly under the influence. damn fuckin' traitor. sae feels a harsh tug on his arm, almost dragging him down to the couch. what a strong woman. she whines again. fine. if you want to do it the hard way, then i’ll give you hell. sae thinks.

“let me go, please.” he cringes at his use of words. “i have a wife to look for and if you don’t let go of me now i’ll have to call the security.” he says, hoping for her to get the hint. 

she does.

but just not in the way sae hoped.

“your wife? oh! that y/n l/n? oh please! i don’t even know what you see in her! i mean, she’s nothing but a lowlife! clearly using you for money! i’d be so much better for you, my sae.” erm. okay. what the hell. sae’s hella conflicted now. he doesn’t know if he wants to take the risk and run away from her or beat the living shit out of her. 

he feels her body hug him from the back and before sae knew it, he pushed her away and let out everything he wanted to say to her.

“listen here, woman. my wife is the kindest and purest soul there is on earth. she brings heaven to me and lights up whatever emo shit is inside me. everything she says and everything does makes me all giddy and shit. and unlike you, her and i actually have chemistry. so i suggest you get the fuck out of my sight before i call security to feed you to the tigers or something. also, she's the only one who can make me giggle and kick my feet up in the air. fuck you.”

okay, maybe that was too much. but at least he defended your honor. common sae w. he thinks as he turns around to search for you, only to find you in front of him with the dopey smile he’s loved for eternity. he hears the cheers and snickers of the table, and even someone saying “oooh he popped off” (probably bachira meguru), yet the only thing he really cares about is you. 

“so, my dear husband.” you say with a smirk on your face. “i light up the emo shit inside you”, huh? how romantic.” sae flushes and grabs his drink from your hand, chugging it and putting the glass on the table. 

shut up. it's cuz you took too long in the washroom. did 'ya take a shit or somethin'? he says as he drags you to the exit of the venue. you hurriedly chug your drink and say your goodbyes to the rambunctious group of boys. 

and as you enter the car, sae’s next words surprise you,

“i won’t lie though, i kinda ate that shit up a while ago. maybe we should attend more of these events. what d’ya say, mi vida?” 

what a goofball of a husband you have. 

HELLOOOO i hope this was enjoyable for everyone ahu ahu 😓😓 unfortunately this is NOT a banger and my experiment of adding my goof into a piece failed erm 😓😓 still, thank you for reading!! hopefully, i'll post more bangers once i get out of my silly sad mood ahu ahu 😓😓 as always, reblogs, comments and likes are very much appreciated!!

[writingstoraes]

out to the world 🌎

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!reader

type: instagram imagine/social media au

notes: not proofread and not revised so please expect errors hehehe please lmk what u think by replying or messaging and if u wanna be part of my taglist! <3

about: fans and people in the paddock have been trying to figure out whether charles is in a relationship or not. amongst the rumors, charles has had enough after seeing a series of mean comments about you.

paddocksays

liked by pierregasly, charloslove, leclercs, and 20,078 others

paddocksays F1 Ferrari driver Charles Leclerc spotted with a mystery woman having a splendid time on a yacht in Maranello. The same race weekend, Charles was accompanied by the same woman outside of Ferrari's HQ and he was seemingly very protective of her and apparently came out of the doors holding hands.

Is the Monegasquè finally off the market?

leclercs WHAT THE FUCK PIERRE LIKED?????

dr3stappen when will he make a dummy acc so hes not slipping on stuff like this 💀

ferrarifan Ok but Pierre liking doesn't confirm it,,, man probably thought this was pure bs and had a laugh

leclercs they were holding hands...

ferrarifans Dont you hold hands with your friends? Are you friendless?

charleswdc OMG go king so deserved

ferraritifosi Does it matter? She is probably a gold digger anyways.

ferrari1 Yeahhh lol riding off on that ferrari paycheck Charles has

16lecs55 Lol his ex was prettier

paddocksays

liked by charleswdc, dr3stappen, maxyracey, and 76,095 others

paddocksays Ferrari's very own lover boy? Charles Leclerc spotted out and about today on the streets of Monte Carlo with the same woman he was with in Italy. The "couple" is definitely not trying to be subtle.

Fans suspect that the woman is Y/N Y/L/N, a friend of Alex Albon's girlfriend, Lily.

tifosi1 Not even trying to hide the PDA, she is definitely using him

ferrarilover Clearly she wants some clout and some 💸💸💸

charleswdc they are trying to be subtle yall just dont know how to give them privacy ffs

ferrari1655 Not good enough for him lol he can do a lot better

sainzchamp ohhhh she ugly why is he even w her 💀💀💀

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, danielricciardo, lilymhe, and 2,450,334 others

charles_leclerc Up until now I never thought I could meet someone so loving, kind, and mesmerizing in all ways possible. To the only person I want to dance all my dances with, tell my ridiculously unfunny jokes to, and parade the streets with at midnight because we were craving pizza, you have my whole heart.

I am in a very loving relationship and I have never been happier. I ask everyone who's been making awful, unwarranted comments about Y/N to stop. All rumours and hearsays about her that paint her i negative light are not true. She does not deserve any of it and is the best person I know.

carlossainz55 I'm not the best person you know???

pierregasly Hurts, right?

charles_leclerc Please get out of my mentions 🙏

yourusername me? after your money? you havent even paid me when i put gas in all of your cars

charleswdc LMAOOOO SHES SO

charles_leclerc Will wire it to you now, chèrie 😘

yourusername no need, just bought u a new car

lilymhe MY LOVESSS ❤️❤️❤️ where are the mean comments im ready to fight

danielricciardo My man finally hard launched 🎉

yukitsunoda0511 MY PARENTS!!!!

yourusername kidding asside, je taime my love 🤍 my always in all ways!

pierregasly I feel like I had something to do with this

landonorris Please make a dump account dude

----------

tagging: @slytherheign <333

notes: this took me almost two hours lmaooo lmk what u think!!! ill be making a directory soon with all of my works i just need to figure out how to do masterlists 🥹 tysm for reading 🤍

[l4zyb0n35]

hai :3 can you do alastor with a s/o who is annoyed by men but she sees him and is like "but you're okay" because he's not a brute. it's like wow they're both mean to everyone except each other <3

This is the ask i always needed because like it’s literally just so real. Like, Alastor needs an s/o that understands him like this, no??? Sorry i got so lazy with this since it so not small headcannons, but i will be sure to make a fic of if, i already put it on my list <3

PAIRING: Alastor x F!Reader

SUMMARY: Check ask ^^

WARNINGS: Small mention of violence, implied sexual harassment, language, misogyny, protective behavior, comfort and trust, lmk if o missed anything <3

NOTICE: please don't copy or steal or translate any of my work or you will be haunted in your dreams and i will spawn something unpleasant at your porch the next day. But...thanks for liking my work !! >.< Property of @l4zyb0n35 and @genderlessdude92

Requests are open, support is highly appreciated!

〰ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ..。.:*･ﾟ♫₊ ♪ *♬‧₊enjoy!~

I think you both probably met smack in pentagram square, believe it or not.

He was walking out the tailor shop and basically you were being cornered by sharks or sum shit and he was like “nuh uh.”

After dealing with him while you were watching you asked, “why did you do that???”

he was like “fym he was gonna molest you.”

and that’s how you guys met <3

…and it went on from there.

now, when we you two first went to the hotel and met angel dust, you were like “fuck no, i’m out of here”

from a lot of convincing though, you stayed to help alastor.

angel honestly…kinda hated you at first??? just honestly though you were ‘hoarding’ al.

now, i know you specifically put only alastor in that ask for the reader to tolerate…but husk.

-not romantically. you just…well, he just hates about everybody in hell, and that’s understandable.

you both understand each other. so you don’t hate husk.

like alastor, yes, you despise vox.

he is a clout chaser, he’s most likely sexist, and it’s fun whenever you guys mess with him.

laughing at the thought rn give me a moment.

Alastor honestly gets confused sometimes for whenever you guys go out and you wear a dress that can be considered provocative of sorts, he asks you why.

you say that it looks good on you, then he likes, “are you good???”

ur always careful whenever you aren’t around alastor, let’s say running a quick errand outside.

so he learns later on that whenever you two are together and out, you just feel more comfortable.

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩

END NOTES: Kinda short notes cause i’m tired, but this might be one of my favorite asks on tumblr in a while. It’s my first one on this blog, but not on tumblr. And i’ve done A LOT of asks on tumblr 💯. Bye guys i’m going to bed for the 3rd time today. I WILL be sure to make a fic of this soon, putting it on my list, but for now i’m posting the general headcannons.

-Lynn Lazybones

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩

Masterlist Link

[megantheestallion-ismypresident]

Kai cenat Headcannons

● Kai loves constantly annoying or pulling pranks on you he just loves seeing get irritated. He pulled a prank on you, telling you to 'shut up' constantly every word you say. He was laughing but not too long since you beat his ass to get back at him. "Bro, ow why you gotta hit me like that, yo?" Kai said, rubbing his arms since you hit him so hard. "That's what yo ass get for pranking me, nigga." Y/n said laughing at him, as he glarer at you.

● He has you on your streams 24/7. His fans love you. They love the dynamic friendship y"all have together.

● He does the most dumbest shit and it you always have to get him out of it like it's annoying but it's funny as fuck.

● Nigga is a big back he may not look like a big back, but no he's a certified nig back nigga would be stealing or eating alot of food.

● If somebody tried to do something to you, he'd defend you.

● His mom and sister love and be teasing him since you guys would be a cute couple, but y'all brushed it off, y'all were just close.

●You're practically a part of Amp. His friends love you and are treated like a part of the group.

● Randomly dancing together.

● You'll scare him during his streams when he's playing a horror game.

● You tease him about being short. He only allows you to tease him, and he actually finds your jokes funny, to be honest.

● Y'all be doing crazy challenges together that can possibly make you both end up in the hospital.

● Try not to laugh videos with the rest of the amp members.

● That one time he brought nicki minaj on his stream, you were so happy because he knew how much you loved nicki and got a chance to meet her, Nicki liked you so much.

● You're his biggest supporter through everything, even through his ups and downs.

● Y"all be making secret joke no one could understand of how close you two are.

● Kai wanted to have you around every time through everything he appreciated you and is very glad to have as his best friend he couldn't be more grateful.

● If you were going through something with your mental health, he would always stop everything for you and would check up on you and make sure you're alright.

● When amp popularity soared, Kai became a household name, a beacon of positivity and laughter in a world of negativity, But through it all y/n remained by kai's side,being his confidant advisor and most important, his best friend.

● Kai and Y/n have the most infectious humor together and very entertaining qualities. You both are everything funny since y'all are both unserious and someone who can take his sense of humor.

● Kai is very humble and didn't let the fame change him. You'll expect a lot of support from his fans, friends, and family members. If kai was facing a lot of hate or backlash, you'll be listening to him rant and give him words if encouragement.

● Kai loves spoiling you he'll put you anything you want that you never had growing up. He bought you a car, and you were never much happier and more grateful. "Nah, what?? Yo, thank you for everything. You didn't have to do this." Y/n said, wiping the tears from her eyes as kai smiled at her. "No, you deserve it. we been through so much, and you were there through my ups and downs, you my best friend." Kai said as you both hugged each other longingly.

● Kai takes you everywhere together. Your friendship was never boring. He was taking you on trips traveling across the world. Attending exclusive events, meeting people, and just having fun, from red solo carpets, concerts, and having such a fun experience together.

● You never turned your back on kai even if he be annoying arms times, you would never be fake like everyone else Is on social media, you never talked shit about him ever and never used him for clout, you was like a sister to him.

● As y/n and Kai's friendship grew even stronger, they faced through challenges, good time, bad times, fame, but through it all, y'all were inseparable, bound together. Kai loves you, and he's lucky to have you by his side.

[piratefishmama]

I Wish | Part 3

He barely recognised his friends. He was just glad they were themselves though. That somewhere along the way to a stardom he didn’t remember going through, his band hadn’t lost anyone. That someone hadn’t been replaced.

That happened a lot, didn’t it? Bands losing members due to circumstance, arguments over direction, infighting... but they were there. Older, Gareth had a little grey in his hair, Jeff had shaved his down completely, he didn’t have braces anymore, taller too, neither as weathered as Eddie but… definitely older, and Dougie...

Fuck, he'd slimmed down.

Eddie didn’t know if that was an improvement or not, he instantly found himself missing what had once been, he was still big, still broad, but... where disarming chub that Eddie had on more than one occasion fallen asleep on had been, soft muscle resided in its place and Eddie found himself wondering just how the biggest of four of them had done it. Whether it'd been through healthy choices or godawful ones like himself.

It was muscle though, it looked like healthy muscle, so... probably healthier than him. Good for him.

“Oh look who's joined us in the land of the living!” Gareth chirped, his mouth half full of pancake, syrup dripping down his lips.

Jeff, to his left “Saw Louie stormin out kicking up a storm, that shit for good this time?” Asked with a tone laced in caution, as if the subject was touchy. God what had Eddie done in the past that made his friends think they couldn’t rib him about relationships?

That was like... their whole thing back in high school, Eddie, and his disastrous non-existent dating life. He’d trusted them and them alone with who he was, with what he liked, and while there were the obvious ‘do you find me hot?’ questions at first, the playful ribbing, the teasing, the jokes only friends could share… he had them. They weren’t afraid of him. Afraid to hurt him because they knew they never could.

How had he lost that?

Eddie looked to Steve in a bid for help, Steve wasted no time in coming to his aid “One can only hope” with obvious exhaustion in his retort, his hands on his hips, a deadpan expression that Eddie couldn’t stop himself from smiling at.

Gareth snorted a little laugh and followed with “Amen to that, dude.”

“He’ll be back though, he always is.” Dougie piped up around his own bite full of some oat concoction, it looked gross. “Once he sees his job offers dry u—what?” The other two were giving it the kill signal, twin expressions of panic, as if he’d said too much… god who was he? “You fuckers know I’m right, Eddie knows I’m right, he’s a clout chasing pretty boy riding Eddie’s coattails to fame, just cause you’re too chicken shit to say anything to him doesn’t mean I am.”

Eddie looked to Steve again as Dougie spoke, only to receive a silently raised brow in return, he was on his own. “Well—” Eddie began, the other three froze, even Dougie’s attention was on him now, all three clearly expecting something “not anymore! Dunno what I saw in him, but I’m done, Steve, if you would… uhm… make sure he can’t contact me again?”

“Want me to block his number?”

“What?” Eddie whispered behind his hand, brows furrowed in confusion, block? A number? What?

“I’ll sort it.” Steve would sort it, and of that Eddie had zero doubts. He wouldn’t doubt the genie about anything ever again. Louie and his overly manicured entire self would never darken his doorstep again, of that he was certain.

“Holy shit, who are you and where did Eddie go?” The panic gone, Gareth seemed genuinely surprised by his declaration. He'd missed too much, too many things he didn’t know, too many things he’d done that he couldn’t apologise for because he didn’t know what he'd be apologising for. it'd be cheap, it'd be pointless.

Eddie hated everything. He could have probably lived with it, with his lost time, had this not been his first experience of the day with people he recognised. He couldn’t. Not like this. Not with his friends looking at him like he were a bomb ready to go off.

He could put on a brave face though, even if the muscles in his face felt foreign, even if he felt tired... he could act the part. “Turnin over a new leaf I guess... self reflection, new path, bachelor life never hurt me too bad, right?” His friends shared looks, a silent communication happening between them that made Eddie feel isolated, othered, outside, and alone.

He wanted out. To run.

And as if he knew, Steve’s hand found his shoulder and squeezed grounding him in place. He was there, the Genie was there, he'd fix it if Eddie wished him to. He wasn’t stuck, Steve just wanted him to live the day. Experience it. Be brave, it wasn’t permanent.

Jeff broke the silence though, he stood up, crossed the distance between them, that gigantic chasm that seemed so impossible to cross seconds before, and clapped his hands to both of Eddie's biceps, his straight toothed smile blinding “nice to have you back then, Eds, now eat your fuckin breakfast an let’s get this stupid talk show shit over with, yeah?” Okay... maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

Fuck the ‘old' Eddie, the Eddie who Eddie himself had never met and never wanted to meet, he had his friends, he'd be fine. Maybe he could even stay.

“Sounds good, what's for breakfast?”

“For you? Nothin but the good stuff, man, ordered you some wholemeal toast with avocado an egg whites” so many words, so little recognition in his eyes.

What the fuck was an avocado? Was that a real thing?

“...Can I not have pancakes like Gareth?” Gareth with his syrupy monstrosity.  

Dougie scoffed around his oatmeal, swallowing before he responded because at some point during the last thirty years he’d developed manners. “With your cholesterol? Fuck off, dude, we don’t want you having a heart attack on stage.” Steve only offered him a sympathetic smile in consolation. The beautiful bastard. “It's avocado toast or oatmeal, your choice old man.”

Strike being able to stay. He wanted to go home.

Eddie didn’t like Avocados.

He decided this the moment a semi-hard glob of green mush touched his tongue, lightly seasoned, mixed with something tangy, he hated it, hated the smell, hated the unexpected texture, hated the taste but he ate it. He pushed through like a little champ when every instinct he had told him to rebel against it, to demand French fries or something stupid that definitely didn’t come as a breakfast food.

Maybe he could swing fast food later, see what the future held for the fast food joints.

Later seemed too busy though, the moment they were done with breakfast, the band were whisked away into some kind of car, something way fancier than Eddie had ever seen, to get to the venue and prepare. Hair, makeup, the usual routine that Eddie wished he had an ounce of experience with because back at the Hideout it was just… them climbing up on the rickety old stage Bev’s late husband put together on the fly and letting loose.

There was no pre-gig warming up, no hoard of professionals tugging them into various chairs and rooms to make sure their hair was the correct brand of artful frizz, or mess of floof, or women with brushes coated in powders to minimize the shine from the studio lights that’d make their skin too shiny for the cameras to work with.

Wardrobe was fool proof as they were presented with options that ranged from smart casual to red carpet. Everything suitable for a talk show and nothing fit for a ‘metal’ band, which was strange considering they were advised to go for something they could move in as they were going to be performing during their run through, maybe more than once to make sure all angles were covered.

It was a lot, it was a hell of a lot, Eddie kept finding Steve in his peripherals though. Always there, silent, and observant off to the side, close enough to step in should anyone cross any boundaries but staying out of the way of the professionals so they could work unhindered.

It was grounding in a way, him there, even if he looked so very human despite what he knew Steve to really look like, having him there, knowing the man could get him out of the chaos at any time was grounding.

All those people touching him, all the noise around him, sounds, smells, lights, the pushing, and pulling, and the tugging on his hair, he wanted to scream, he wanted to get away from it all, he wanted—

“Alright, five minute break.” Steve stepped in, his voice firm, without room for argument. “Rockstar needs a breather.” Eddie could have kissed him, genuinely. The relief as all those professionals took a few steps back was instantaneous, that feeling only growing when Steve managed to corral them out of the room entirely, leaving just them in there.

The other band members were in their own rooms, Eddie clearly some ‘big shot’ that he didn’t quite get. Sure he was the front man but… they always said they’d be equals if they made it big. They’d always scoffed at the idea of multiple green rooms, of putting single members on pedestals, that was how shit went sideways, that was how infighting and breaking apart happened. They’d stay grounded, stay real.

They didn’t want that bullshit and yet there he was. All on his own, his friends elsewhere being prepped without him. He hated it. How had it happened? “I should be used to this, shouldn’t I?”

“What makes you think that?” Eddie damn near jumped out of his skin when Steve was just. Right there. Stood beside him in the reflection of the mirror. No longer looking all that human, he looked like himself, golden and beautiful, wearing the clothes he first saw him in.

When he turned around, the human looked back at him, smiling as if he knew what Eddie was looking for. Reflections showed the truth then. Interesting.

“I’m—fuck that's a cool trick, man... but i'm a fuckin rockstar! I should be, I dunno… used to it.” At the very least his old man brain should have caught up by now, right? He should have gotten used to it all, muscle memory of thirty years having passed should have at least kicked in a little, right?

He still felt like that kid from the trailer park on the inside, still felt completely overwhelmed.

He’d just been dropped into a life with no memory of living it.

“Who said you ever got used to it?” Steve hadn’t said that. In fact Steve had painted a pretty sad story of addiction and self-destruction. “Eddie… some people aren’t meant for this kind of life, yes, you’re very talented, you’re absolutely good enough to get this far, and once you’re on stage you are incredible—” for a moment, just a moment, Eddie felt warmth, a teeny sprinkle of warm pleasure trickle through his weary soul at the easily spoken praise. “The weariness fades away and you���re… yourself, everything that you are shines through and it’s breathtaking.” Eddie really did try not to blush, but he felt the heat in his cheeks anyway, as it turned out, older men could definitely be flustered by a cute guy thoughtlessly praising them “but the rest of it… everything that goes along with it… not that I’m an expert or anything, but I don’t believe it’s who you are.”

“I can’t just adapt?” All Steve offered was that similar look of sympathy he’d had in the bathroom back at the hotel. No… no Eddie knew the answer before he’d even asked it. He’d never been able to adapt. “Why?”

“If it helps at all, there’s millions of people out there who feel seen whenever you talk about your struggles with what happens behind the glamour, so many people who love you and support you for the very things that make you struggle so much, for the fact that you keep going, you made it despite them. I’m not going into the why’s and the how’s, but adapting really isn’t something you’re very good at, Eddie, there’s no changing that. You get overwhelmed, that’s just you.”

“Can I wish to change it?” Did he even want to? Not really, something told him it’d backfire somehow, not by Steve’s design, not on purpose, but… it just would.

“You can… I can work my magic, but you wouldn’t be you. You wouldn’t be the person your friends love, the louder than life DnD loving nerd, you wouldn’t be that anymore, and I like that person, he’s very sweet, so I really don’t want to.” There it was. At least Steve wasn’t just letting him make that mistake. “There’s a life out there that is perfect for you, and trust me you will find it, this just isn’t it. Do you want to go home?” Steve wasn’t going to force him to stay, he wanted Eddie to experience it for this very reason, to see the truth behind one of his biggest dreams, see the chaos behind the curtain of a life that maybe he just wasn’t suited to.

He could go home if he wanted to, but… “No. Not yet. I wanna experience it, just once, y’know? Even if it’s gonna suck, I think you were right, I think I need to.” If only to really drive it home that maybe fame and fortune wasn’t everything.

That maybe he didn’t have to be famous, maybe he didn’t have to be some metal legend, he could just… be. And that would be okay.

“Got it.”

“Will I at least know the song we’re meant to be performing here?” Given how little he knew about his present self, the very real possibility of his music having evolved, of new songs being written, it was an issue he really should have thought about by now, but Steve snapped his fingers, an otherwordly light flashing in his hazel eyes for the briefest of moments, and then he smiled.

“You will now.” And that made him feel a little better. Just a little. Until the chaos continued and the professionals filed back in to finish their jobs, the five minutes up.

Part 5

[stxrr-strxckk]

hi! can you do headcanons of what is it like to date quackity in 2018/2019? your writing is really good btw 🫶🏻

Aww, ty! Gonna be honest, I don't know too much about 2018/2019 Quackity (I didn't watch him as much as I did in 2021/2022) but I'll try anyways!

You're just one click away!

(Dating 2018/19 era quackity!)

Pairing: Quackity x gn!reader

Any warnings?: Nope!

Whats that on the record player?: Hello?; Clairo

✭First off: You probably met him online. Whether that was during one of his raids, in an online chatroom, discord's got talent, or just through common interests, one things for sure: he was smitten.

✭Always calling you, texting you, inviting you to hang out, whatever you want. Anything for his princesa <3

✭Probably tells chat about you.

"Gamers, I have to confess something." Alex states dramatically. "So, there's this person, right? And they're SO cool. Like, the coolest person I know. And I need to impress them so lets make this raid turn out good, okay?"

✭You have a feeling it's you and it's a bit silly seeing him be so whipped

✭When you guys get together he's so happy he's yapping about it to all of his friends and fans.

"Gamers, remember that person I told you about? Well I finally fucking pulled them, thank god! Yeah, hide your girl 'cause I've got game over here. The ladies love me!"

✭Invites you to judge Discord's got talent with him and spends the entire time flirting with you.

"Okay, so you're talent is singing, correct?" Quackity asks. The contestant replies and you smile. "I love guys who sing. It's so romantic!" Alex perks up at this. "Actually, you know, I'm a pretty good singer myself. Yeah, uh, I'll actually- I'll actually serenade you guys right here. Right now." He grins when he hears you and the other judges laughing at his singing. "So, how was that?" he asks when he's done. "It's gonna be a no for me." you laugh, and the other judge agrees. "What? After all that? This is crazy. You guys can't judge anymore." He laughs, kicking the other judge from the call. "Aah, don't kick me! I'm too young to die!" you joke. "Okay, fine. You're too pretty to kick anyways..."

✭Also features you in raids like all the time. Lets you pick out the games he raids.

✭You two make so many roblox videos with the craziest fucking clips ever. They're titled stuff like: Roblox with my s/o is the funniest thing ever and roblox sucks way less with my s/o (kinda corny but still really cute)

✭You two play crappy games together and make fun of them in videos

✭When he gets banned from twitter and discord and other sites he has you make a cameo in his video and ask for his account back.

"Okay, so I just read the card?" you ask Alex, who's behind the camera. He nods. "But this doesn't sound like me at all." You deadpan, and he laughs, almost dropping the camera. "Just read it anyways, for the clout!" "Fine." you roll your eyes. "You're lucky I love you." you clear your throat as Alex straightens the camera and focuses the lens. "Dear twitter: please please please give my super handsome boyfriend his account back. He is too hot and too cool to be banned, and it makes me very very sad. If he remains banned I'll cry forever- Q, this doesn't sound like me at all." you laugh. "Hey, you're not getting paid to complain!" "I'm not getting paid at all." "Shhh, they don't know that!"

✭Overall very cute and funny. 10/10 would ship again.

A/n: first set of hcs! Hope you enjoyed, make sure to like, follow, reblog, and submit any requests!

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