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fervidgrey · 5 days ago

Text

Heavy in Your Arms

Disclaimers

Tags: This fic is Togame Jo-centric, No use of y/u, FmC, canon divergence, not a huge fan of Choji so fans beware, everyone is aged up to 18-25, and there will be original characters sprinkled in as needed, MC is on the thicker side (i've left this open to interpretation) Jo is nearly 200lbs he can handle some thicc thighs.

Fic wide TW: toxic relationship, this will get dark, Dead Dove, xenophobia, racism, fatphobia, familial bullying, gang violence, threats of violence, assault, possible non-graphic s-assault such as threats or groping, sexual content, drug use, homelessness, overall this is a take on what gangs really do and the consequences that follow those actions.

Please do not read if this would harm you in any way, your mental health comes first!

Book: Heavy in Your Arms

Chapter: 4, My fingers laced to crown

Chapter TW: panic attack, violence

Word Count: 10,000~ (No beta, sorry)

It was Monday!

Today marked the start of the week, and the start of focusing on classes again. It was your favorite day of the week though, the class was Creative Writing. It was your strongest class due to having an incredible professor. They had been excited to set up a digital class for you, and any student that needed it all while boasting it was the right step forward for education. Moving to another country while remaining in school had posed several challenges but you had convinced three professors to let you stay in class digitally. All other classes got dropped, which despite your mothers protesting- was a huge relief.

It was 9 AM your time, which meant it was time to login to your lesson and watch an uploaded recording. He had stated that words needed to be heard to be felt. Normally you didn’t agree but when your professor dedicated a portion of The Count of Monte Cristo you understood his point.

You nibbled on a piece of toast, coffee gripped in your other hand while your laptop booted up. Your desk was mostly clear of distractions, aside from your phone. You glanced at, wondering if you should text Togame. He’d probably be asleep right now, but you couldn't shake the feeling that you should reach out. With a sigh, you decided against it and turned your attention back to the laptop.

The familiar chime of the video conferencing software filled your room as you logged in. Your professor's face appeared on the screen, his warm smile instantly putting you at ease. Even though it was recorded, his enthusiasm was palpable.

"Good morning, class!" he began, his voice animated. "Today, we're diving into the heart of storytelling - the power of dialogue."

You settled in, sipping your coffee as he launched into a passionate explanation of how dialogue shapes characters and drives plot. His words painted vivid pictures in your mind, transporting you from your quiet room to a thriving fantasy world you had been working.

"Remember," your professor said, his eyes twinkling with excitement, "dialogue isn't just about what's said. It's about what's left unsaid, the pauses, the inflections." You nodded, even though he couldn't see you, and jotted down notes.

“The next assignment will be a short story, 500 words minimum. I want you to focus solely on dialogue, even if there isn’t much it needs to be well thought out!” Your professor looked off to the side of the camera nodding.

“For my digital students, the question was posed “What if there is only one character?” excellent question! My counter, do you talk to yourself when you are alone?” He smiled then wrote on the board, internal monologue.

“Let’s make it a touch more interesting! The prompt will need to be centered around someone lost at sea.” He smiled to himself chuckling when several groans filled the air, you laughed.

“You all got this! Alright, that about finishes up our time! Remember no less than 500 words, on my desk/email by Friday- midnight sharp for all you 11:30 assignment warriors.” Professor Evans came over to the camera and finished the recording with a wave.

As the video ended, you leaned back in your chair, mind already racing with ideas for the assignment. Lost at sea... the possibilities were endless. You could feel the story taking shape in your mind - a lone sailor, stranded on a lifeboat after a shipwreck. Or maybe a child, clinging to an unsteady piece of furniture from her family's capsized boat- no one to be seen.

Your fingers itched to start typing, but you forced yourself to finish your breakfast first. As you chewed the last bite of toast, your phone buzzed. Your clumsy hands nearly knock over your coffee in the struggle. Unlocking your phone felt so low, you wondered what Togame might say this early. But it wasn't Togame - it was your mother. A mixture of disappointment and guilt washed over you as you read her message: "Don’t be late to class!” you frown,of course that would be her message after four days of silence.

“Class is over, love you!” You texted back. While her text didn’t ruin your mood, it did cast the reminder that Togame had not texted you today. With a deep breath you settled back into your chair. You needed to calm down. It was Monday and he could easily just be busy. What a yakuza was bust with was a mystery to you but he would text when there was time.

You set your phone aside, determined not to let it distract you from getting a rough draft done. The assignment prompt was still swimming in your mind, making you eager to dive in. Opening a fresh document, you began to type, letting the words flow freely as you imagined your protagonist's plight.

"The black void stretched on, a small reprieve from the sun’s unforgiving glare. Brianna clung to her dads favorite cooler, his drinks still inside- ice soft smacking against the sides. How long had it been since the boat flipped? Days? Weeks? Time seemed to blur together in an endless expanse of nothing." your fingers moved on their own while you mind played scenes in your head- good start for a rough draft.

A few hours passed without you noticing. It wasn't until your stomach growled loudly that you realized it was 11 AM. You took another glance at your phone, someone had texted you. With some restrained joy you picked it up, unlocking it then looking at your messages. Surprised filled your face as Kotoha popped up.

“Come hang out today! It's boring here!” A big smile spread across your face. The hole from Togame’s silence started to fill.

“At Cafe Pothos?” you guessed that is what she meant but figured it best to ask.

“Where else silly?!” she texted back.

You chuckled at Kotoha's response. Of course she meant Cafe Pothos - she worked there after all. You quickly typed back a reply:"I'll be there in an hour minutes!" You painfully remembered it took nearly 40 minutes to walk there- that taxi had spoiled you. Maybe it was time to get a bike- but it was such a pain to find a police station here and get one registered. Perhaps Togame about how to get one.

After double checking your work saved you pushed your laptop closed and unplugged the charger. Taking a stretch you glanced around, looking for your laptop bag. The break would do you good, and you were excited to see Kotoha, but you could also use the time at the cafe to study. Quickly you packed some stuff you’d thought you needed: chapstick, money, notebook, and a few other miscellaneous things. Nodding to a bag well packed led you to look down at your outfit; a favorite graphic t-shirt- sadly with a small hole at the bottom, basic jeans, and pink rabbit socks. For good measure you tossed on a simple chain necklace and a thin bracelet to make your fit more pulled together. All the while forgetting to look into the mirror, even for a moment.

Quickly you walked into the kitchen then looked to the living room. Aunt Yuuko was sitting silently as always watching game tv. You smiled before opening the fridge and pulling out a few ingredients.

“Auntie, can I make you an omelette for lunch?” She looked over at you, her face neutral then slowly forming a frown. You arched an eyebrow but waved the eggs with a nervous smile.

“I can make an asparagus omelette!” She remained silent, which was a bit odd then looked away.

“That’s fine.” She finally responded. You sighed quietly before getting to work. If you were quick the omelette could be done in a few minutes then you could dash out of here to meet up with Kotoha.

As you whipped up the omelette, your mind wandered back to your writing assignment. The sizzle of the eggs in the pan reminded you of the ocean waves in your story. You sprinkled in some cheese and folded in the asparagus, trying to focus on the task at hand. As predicted, finishing the omelette did not take long but the dishes had to wait until later.

"Here you go, Auntie," you said, sliding the perfectly cooked omelette onto a plate. You placed it on the coffee table in front of her, along with a fork and napkin. "I'm heading out to meet a friend. I'll be back later, okay?"

Aunt Yuuko nodded silently, her eyes still fixed on the TV. You hesitated for a moment, wanting to say more, but decided against it. With a quick glance at your phone to check the time, you grabbed your stuff then hurried out the door.

The walk to Cafe Pothos was familiar by now but just in case you had the directions pulled on on your phone. Just as you were reaching the tunnel under the train tracks a flash of orange caught your eye. Stopping you squinted at the form wondering if it was Togame. The person was too short, and hair too light for it to possibly be him. Still you looked on, hoping in a small way you’d see him out and about. However, they rounded the corner disappearing from your view.

With the possibility of seeing Togame gone, you continued on, not wanting to keep Kotoha waiting. The city was bustling people doing daily chores, heading to work, or just shopkeepers straightening up the sidewalks. There was no shortage of information to take in on your way there, you even noted a bike shop that you’d ask Kotoha about.

As you approached Cafe Pothos, you could see Kotoha through the window, wiping down tables with her usual energy. She spotted you and waved enthusiastically, her smile bright enough to light up the whole street. You couldn't help but smile back as you pushed open the door, the familiar chime of the bell announcing your arrival.

"You made it!" Kotoha exclaimed, bouncing over to give you a quick hug. "I was starting to think you'd gotten lost." She paused, giving you a dumb founded look.

You laughed "Not lost, just taking my time. The walk here is always interesting." You paused registering the stare she leveled at you.

“What, is there something-” she cut you off pointing to your neck.

“”What the hell happened to your neck?!” She shouted, coming in closer for a hard look. This morning with auntie made a lot more sense now. How you hadn't stopped for a second to look at your neck was beyond your comprehension at the moment. You screeched grabbing your neck with both hands, cupping them- hiding them from view.

“What do you mean?!” Sweat forming on your brow. “It can't be that bad!” you begged.

“That bad?!” She repeated back at you, clearly ready to hurl another wave of questions at you.

“Your neck looks like you were attacked by a dog!” You gasped at her, surely she was joking! Togame had spent a lot of time sucking, biting, kissing but you didn't think any hickies would form!

“Quick! I need a mirror!” You begged, hoping she was just being a dick a few small marks.

“I have a compact!” Kotoha gasped while running to her purse. She fumbling around while you took a moment to survey the cafe again, it was empty. Thank whoever, anyone at this point.

She rushed back and nearly knocked over a barstool. “Here look!” She flipped it open and pointed it at your neck.

"Fuck," you whisper, slowly lowering your hands. Kotoha wasn't exaggerating - your neck is a canvas of purple and red marks, some of them were an angry-glaring red. You traced a finger over one particularly dark bruise in the shape of teeth. All you could do was stare.

"How did I not notice this?" you mutter, leaning closer to the mirror. The memory of Togame's lips on your skin flooded back. So you know how it happened but it didn’t seem like he had done this much damage- you had been so focused on his hands.

"So," Kotoha says, drawing out the word with a mischievous grin, "What's his name? Surely you got it since this happened!" She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively while holding back laughs.

You rub the back of your neck, still feeling shy about saying his name out loud. "It's...Togame," you mumble, then closely watched her features for recognition.

"Togame?" Kotoha ponders, then shrugs. “Never heard of him.” You pray to anyone who listens, thanking them for this small favor.

"Those marks are crazy!" She leans in closer, examining your neck with exaggerated scrutiny. “He's got some serious skills though. You can see those a mile away."

You groan, burying your face in your hands. "Can we please change the subject?"

"No way!" Kotoha laughs, pulling your hands away from your face. "Come on, spill! I want all the juicy details."

You laughed despite yourself- it felt so good to talk with a girl your own age. Granted, the idea of sharing your entire night seemed a bit too personal. Instead you opted to share how despite the hickies he was a gentleman, and did not force himself on you when you wanted to stop.

Kotoha's eyes widened with interest. "Ooh, a gentleman, huh? That's rare these days. So what else can you tell me about this Togame guy?"

You hesitated, unsure how much to reveal. "Well, he's a bit older than us. And he really enjoys fine dining!"

Kotoha nodded eagerly. "I can see that,” for a second you just stared at each other then busted out laughing. “Anyways what does he do?" Kotoha breathed out while wiping a laughing tear away. You froze for a moment, realizing you couldn't exactly tell her Togame was a yakuza, but he had expertly told your aunt he was in business, what would work.

"He works in business. Management type stuff." you offer.

"Ooh, a businessman," Kotoha said with a wink. "No wonder he's so intense."

You laughed nervously, relieved she didn't press further. "Yeah, something like that. Anyway, enough about me. How have you been?” She looked at you funny while preparing a coffee.

“It's been one day, but Toma-” she stopped moving, slowly turned back to look at you. Her face displayed the most unusual grin, comically evil.

“You are gonna be in so much trouble when Toma sees your neck!” She started laughing again, her whole body shaking. Fuck, your cousin lingers around this cafe, you were so stupid!

Your eyes widen in horror as the realization hits you. Toma. Your overprotective cousin who practically lives at this café. How could you forget about him?

"Oh no," you groan, slumping against the counter. "Kotoha, you can't let him see me like this. He'll freak out!"

Kotoha's laughter subsides, but her eyes still sparkle with amusement. "Don't worry, I've got your back. But you know he's going to find out eventually, right?"

You nod miserably. "I know, but I'd rather it not be today. Do you have any concealer or something?"

Kotoha shakes her head. "Sorry, I don't wear much makeup at work. But I've got an idea!" She dashes to the back room, returning moments later with a bright pink scarf. You stared at the scarf- it was summer. You let a fake cry then gently take the scarf in hand, slowly wrapping it around your neck. You tried for several minutes to make it look natural but it was impossible.

You sigh, resigned to your fate. "This is hopeless. I look ridiculous."

Kotoha tilts her head, examining you. "It's not that bad. Just say you're trying out a new fashion trend or something."

Just then, because lady luck doesn’t like you, the bell above the door chimes. Your heart drops as you hear a familiar voice.

"Hey Kotoha-chan, got any of those almond croissants left?" Toma calls out as he strolls in. You freeze, your back to the door. This couldn’t be happening. Kotoha's eyes widen slightly, but she quickly smiles with a devilish grin.

"Toma! Perfect timing. We were just talking about you," she says smoothly. You take a deep breath and slowly turn around, praying the scarf stays in place. "Hi Toma," you manage to squeak out.

Toma's eyebrows furrow in a rage and he points at your “BRAT!” he yells, finger leveled at your face. “You never even bothered to text me, letting me know you made it home safe!”

You flinch at Toma's outburst, guilt starting to form. In all the excitement of last night, you had completely forgotten to text him.

"I'm so sorry, Toma," you say, your voice small. "I got caught up, then fell asleep right away!" You gesture vaguely, hoping he won't press for details.

Toma's anger seems to deflate a bit, but his eyes narrow as he takes in your appearance.

"What's with the scarf? It's boiling outside."

You feel your face flush as you scramble for an excuse. "Oh, this? I, uh... I'm trying out a new look. You know, fashion and all that." Toma's not buying it stepped closer, his gaze zeroing in on your neck. "Take it off," he demands.

"What? No!” You shout back, he was gonna find out real quick you weren’t a baby anymore.

"Take it-'“ he was cut off by a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, give her a break. Didn’t you say she was new to the area?” A deep voice pulled your attention.

In all the drama you hadn’t noticed the newcomer and all the men you had met yesterday filing into the cafe. You can't help but notice how they seem to position themselves strategically, as if guarding the exit. The one who had spoken was really handsome, his hair was a fine powder white,and pale blue eyes nearly grey. It took a moment to notice his jacket. It was much longer than everyone else, with 3 bands on his left arm. You weren’t certain but he looked like the leader, the air around him for more still than your cousin.

“But Umemiya she-” your cousin froze mid sentence while looking at the man who kept an unflinching smile, then sighed in defeat. Toma pointed at your face, warning you of things to come which led to you sticking your tongue out at him. The man acted like you had been in his life for the last 15 years and needed protection. Pfft.

"I'm sure your cousin can explain her new fashion choices another time." Umemiya, you recall - gives you a subtle wink before turning his attention back to Kotoha.

“YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL TODAY!!” He shouted, startling you. Kotoha on the other hand looked bored, and frankly annoyed.

“Ok.” She stated flatly, grabbing some pastries from behind the counter and stuffing them in a bag with an odd amount of aggression.

“Your hair looks so cute!” he spoke in a cutesy voice,clearly trying to poke Kotoha’s metaphorical bear. You weren’t sure if it was your imagination but you could swear a vein was getting ready to pop from her head. You pondered over their relationship, it seemed a bit off if they were dating. But- you were not one to judge. Your current situationship was a bit off to put it lightly.

“Don't look at me like that, you are gonna break my heart.” he whined, putting his elbows on the bar and setting his eyes wide. Dang, his puppy eyes were impressive.

“Ah! Shut up!!!” Kotoha shuddered while tossing the pastry bag at Umemiya. The bag hit him square in the face then it dropped with a thud. His face contorted into a strange baby pout.

“My baby sister hates me!!” Umemiya whined out. You blink in surprise at this revelation. Sister? That explained the odd dynamic between them. You can't help but chuckle at their banter, momentarily forgetting your own predicament.

"Sister?" you ask, looking between Kotoha and Umemiya. "I didn't know you had a brother, Kotoha!"

Kotoha rolls her eyes. "Unfortunately. He's impossible to get rid of."

Umemiya clutches his chest dramatically. "You wound me, dear sister!" he smirked, “but your aim is improving." That seemed to nearly get another pastry thrown at his head but Sou expertly took it from Kotoha with a grateful smile, bringing it back to Akihiko who was now sitting at a table behind you.

"I don't believe we've been properly introduced. I'm Hajime Umemiya, Kotoha's handsome older brother." You chuckle out awkwardly, he was certainly forward.

"Nice to meet you," you say, trying to keep your voice steady. "I'm a friend of Kotoha." A surprised grunt comes from behind Umemiya's back. “And Toma’s cousin.” a satisfied huff made you chuckle. Umemiya smiled back, but his eyes landed on your neck for a brief moment making you turn away nervously.

“I didn’t realize you had pastries either, can I get one Kotoha!” You sputtered out hoping to avoid any and all questions about your neck. All around the sounds of shuffling feet, and chairs moving signaled everyone was finding a seat.

"Sure thing. What kind do you want?" Kotoha asked, also trying to help you pull away from questions from the boys surrounding you.

You glanced at the pastry case, trying to decide while the feeling of being watched creeped up your back. Glancing to the left, you caught Umemiya studying you with an unreadable expression from his newfound seat beside you. There was something almost calculating in his gaze that made you uneasy. It didn’t have the same energy that Togame had, but it was enough to make you more cautious going forward.

"I'll take a pain au chocolat," you said, staying razor focused on Kotoha. She nodded and reached for the pastry with tongs.

"Good choice," Umemiya commented, his tone casual but his eyes still fixed on you. "Those are my favorite too."

You forced a smile, accepting the paper bag from Kotoha. "Thanks. I should probably get going. I have some studying to do."

Toma frowned. "Already? But I just got here!” He looked down at your feet. “Look, you even brought your laptop! We’ll be gone soon anyways, just stay for a bit.” he paused looking at his hands. “It's nice to see you too.”

You hesitate, torn between wanting to escape the scrutiny and not wanting to disappoint Toma. His last comment tugs at your heartstrings enough to get you to fold.

"Alright, I guess I can stay for a little bit," you concede with a small smile. Toma's face lights up, and you can't help but feel a warmth in your chest. Despite his overprotectiveness, you know he cares deeply.

You settle into a chair at the counter, carefully adjusting your scarf. Kotoha slides a steaming cup of coffee in front of you with a wink.

"So, how's school going?" Toma asks, leaning against the counter beside you. "Still keeping up with your classes back home?" You nod,finally a topic you didn’t have to tiptoe around.

"Yeah, it's going well. I just had a Creative Writing class this morning, actually.” You launch into an explanation of your online classes, grateful for the safe topic. As you talk, you notice Umemiya listening intently, his eyes never leaving your face. It made you feel restless in your seat.

You continue chatting with Toma about your classes, carefully avoiding any mention of your personal life. As you talk, you couldn't shake the feeling of being watched the entire time and it was starting to drain you. The men scattered around the cafe seem to be hanging on your every word, even though they're pretending to be engaged in their own conversations.

"That's great that you're keeping up with your studies," Toma says, beaming with pride. "I always knew you were smart." he touches your shoulder gently. “You know you used to tell me a lot of stories when you were younger, always crying when I didn’t believe you.” You blinked at him, tears bubbling- you didn’t remember anything and that hurt- a lot.

“I mean they were crazy! Stories about a snake so big it would swallow the world, and ghost cats that needed extra attention plus kibble. You had a big imagination.” Toma smiled more to himself, memories seemed to be flowing for him. You wanted to feel that too.

Taking a quick sip of coffee was just enough to hide your sorrow and reset your mind. You could make memories with him now, lasting ones. As you set the cup down, your scarf slips slightly. You quickly readjust it, but not before catching a glimpse of Umemiya's fist balling on the counter.

"So," Umemiya starts, his voice deceptively casual, "how are you finding Japan so far? Eventful?" You freeze, your heart racing as you slowly turn to him- eyes wide.

"Oh, you know," you fumble. “Just getting used to the streets, Makochi is bigger than it seems.”

“What about your date last night?” A voice called out from behind you, while you were still learning all their faces it certainly sounded like Sou.

“It went fine.” You proclaimed quickly before shoving a lot of pastry into your mouth. Toma stared at you, ready to start a fight again.

“Hold on, you said you didn’t know his name cuz it was an app date,” he frowned. “What was it?” You should have left earlier, you absolutely should have left. You chewed your croissants extra slow hoping they would all disappear by the time you swallowed. Sadly the delicious pastry was 90% butter so it melted within a few seconds. You swallow hard, your mind racing for an explanation- stalling. The silence stretches on uncomfortably as all eyes in the cafe turn to you.

"I, uh..." you stammer, desperately searching for a believable lie. "His name is..-" Kotoha, the savior, had enough of your interrogation. Her rag hit the bar with a loud wet thud.

“Stop it!” She pointed at Toma with a fierce look on her face. “Leave her alone!” She looked back at Umemiya, glaring a warning only siblings knew how to decipher then returned to your cousin.

“She will tell you when she is ready, and you acting like some macho guy in charge of her life isn’t going to speed that along, so stop it!” You stare at Kotoha in stunned silence, grateful for her intervention. Toma looked taken aback, his mouth opening, and closing as he struggled to respond.

Umemiya clears his throat, breaking the awkward silence. "Kotoha's right," he says, his tone surprisingly gentle. "We shouldn't pry." He gives you a small, reassuring smile. "I apologize if we made you uncomfortable." You nod with a small smile, completely relieved with the turn of events. You owed Kotoha a girls night, all expenses paid.

"It's okay," you mumble, fidgeting with the bottom of your t-shirt. "I appreciate it, really. I'm just... still figuring things out here." You offered politely.

Toma's shoulders slump slightly. "I'm sorry," he says, looking genuinely remorseful. "I just worry about you, you know?” The guilt from earlier started to dig a hole into your gut. There was a possibility they didn’t know Togame at all, Kotoha hadn’t, but if they did- well you weren’t sure what would happen.

"I know, Toma. I know you care. I promise, I'm being careful." You gave your cousin a large smile, grabbing his hand for a moment, giving a small squeeze. He squeezed back before letting go and taking a big breath.

Umemiya clears his throat, breaking the tender moment. "Well, I think we've all overstayed our welcome. Shall we head out, lads?" He stands, shooting you an unreadable look before turning to the others.

As the men begin to gather at the front, you feel a mix of relief and lingering want. You had wanted to chat more with a few of them but Toma and Umemiya had really consumed all your time. You watch as they filed out of the cafe, each one nodding politely in your direction. Umemiya is the last to leave, pausing at the door to give you one final, thoughtful look.

"It was nice meeting you," he says, his tone warm but his eyes still evaluating you. "I'm sure we'll be seeing more of each other." With that, he's gone, leaving you alone with Kotoha.

You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. Kotoha comes over, refilling your coffee cup with a sympathetic smile.

"You okay?" she asks quietly. You nod, forcing a smile. "Yeah, thanks for standing up for me earlier."

Toma shifted into a seat beside you. "Look, I really am sorry about Umemiya, he is such a handful.” She launched into her next statement with a softened look. “He protects this area, and quickly feels responsible for people. He isn’t an idiot either, he probably saw the marks.” She motioned to your neck, the dumb scarf was looser than you remembered.

You feel your face flush hot at Kotoha's words. "Shit,it kept slipping." you groan, burying your face in your hands. "Do you think he'll tell Toma?"

Kotoha shakes her head. "Nah, I don't think so. Umemiya may be nosy, but he's not a gossip. Still..." She leans in closer, lowering her voice. "You might want to be mindful. Umemiya knows pretty much everything that goes on around here. If your mystery man is local, it wont stay a secret forever."

You nod, a knot of anxiety forming in your stomach. "Thanks for the warning.” You pause, considering your next words very carefully.

"What exactly did you mean when you said Umemiya 'protects this area'?"

Kotoha looks at you for a few seconds with a blank stare then a huge smile formed. "Well, he protects this area of the town, they all do." You watched her, waiting for her to confirm your suspicions. When she didn’t example any further you pressed, no way that was it.

"Are they... yakuza?" you blurt out, no way you were letting this go.

Kotoha's eyes widened in shock, but she quickly composed herself. "I wouldn't throw that word around lightly," she scolds. "They keep the neighborhood safe, handle disputes, that kind of thing. They don’t shake anyone down for money.They don’t hurt anyone." You nod slowly, feeling unconvinced.

"So they are like... unofficial law enforcement?" You offered- generously.

Kotoha shrugs. "Something like that. It's complicated.That's why I wanted to warn you." She gives you a soft smile. "If your new guy is from around here, they probably know him or know of him."

You nod slowly, processing this new information. The knot in your stomach tightens as you think about Togame and your cousin. It was so much to take in.Kotoha gives your hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Hey, don't look so worried. They're good guys, really. Just... protective of their own, you know?"

You force a smile, trying to push away your concerns. "Yeah, I get it. I would be too." Silence fell for a moment but you quickly remembered why you came to the cafe.

“I've got that writing assignment to work on. Can I have another coffee?" You pulled your best doe eyes hoping she wouldn’t point out it was your 3rd cup already.

"Sure thing," Kotoha says, grabbing the coffee pot. As she refills your mug, you pull out your laptop and notebook.

"Thanks," you murmur, taking a sip of the fresh coffee. The warmth and caffeine help calm your nerves a bit. You open your laptop, pulling up the document with your story draft. She looks at your laptop with a curious gaze.

"It's for my Creative Writing class," you explain. "We have to write a short story about someone lost at sea, focusing on dialogue."

"Sounds intense," Kotoha says. "Mind if I read what you have so far?"

You hesitate for a moment, then nod. "Sure, why not? I could use some feedback."

As Kotoha reads, you can't help but let your mind wander.The revelation about Umemiya and his group being some kind of neighborhood protectors - or so Kotoha says - weighs heavily on your mind. You can't help but draw parallels to Togame and wonder how to balance your relationships going forward.

"This is really good!" Kotoha's voice snaps you back to reality. She's looking at you with genuine admiration. "It's like I can feel her desperation."

You smile, grateful for the distraction. "Thanks. I'm still working on the dialogue parts. It's tricky when there's only one character’s internal monologue."

"Maybe she could talk outloud?" Kotoha suggests. “imagining one of her missing parents who is always slightly out of reach?" You stare at her in shock, that was a really good idea.

“That is brilliant, may I use it?” She laughed at the question and nodded. “My ideas are free to all.” You both laugh, enjoying the return of the easy going atmosphere. As Kotoha busies herself with cafe tasks, you dive back into your story. The words flow more easily now, your protagonist's voice clearer in your mind. You type furiously, lost in the world you're creating.

A ping caught your attention, your eyes took a moment to adjust the moment your unlocked phone’s brightness. It was a text from Togame. It read: Busy day, you home? Your heart skips a beat as you read Togame's message. You glance at Kotoha, who's busy wiping down tables, before quickly typing a response.

"At Cafe Pothos studying. Everything okay?" you reply back.

You set your phone down, trying to focus on your writing again, but your mind keeps drifting to Togame. What could he be busy with? Is he thinking about you? The memory of his lips on your neck makes you smile, and you absentmindedly adjust the scarf.

Your phone pings again."Be home soon." reflected back at you. Your heart begins to race as you stare at Togame's cryptic message. What did he mean by that? Did he want you to go home now? The short message swirled in your mind, making it impossible to focus.

You glance at the time on your laptop. It's been a few hours since you arrived at the cafe. Maybe it is time to head back. You start packing up your things, trying to appear casual.

"Heading out?" Kotoha asks, noticing your movements.

You nod, forcing a smile. "Yeah, I should probably get back. Thanks for letting me hang out here." With a bit of stealth you put the cost of the coffee down behind your cup, knowing she would probably return it if visible.

Kotoha gives you a knowing look. "Hot date?" she asked with a signature fox-like grin.

You feel your face flush. "No, nothing like that. Just... need to get home."

As you stand to leave, Kotoha catches your arm gently. "Hey, be careful, okay?" she says gently. "I meant what I said earlier about Umemiya and the others. They're good guys, but they take protecting this neighborhood very seriously. If your new man is involved in anything...." she tapered off.

You nodded back trying to ignore her unfinished warning . "Thanks, Kotoha. I appreciate you looking out for me." She gives your arm a squeeze before letting go.

"That's what friends are for. Text me later, yeah?" she chirped out, a normal smile back in place.

"Definitely," you promise, shouldering your bag. As you head for the door, you can't help but feel like you're walking away with more baggage than you should have. The weight of your secrets was starting to suffocate you.

The walk home felt different this time, charged with apprehension. Your mind focused on thoughts of Togame, wondering how his day had been- feeling guilty you forgot to text him. As you navigated the familiar streets, you couldn't fully shake the feeling of being watched. Kotoha's warning about Umemiya and his group echoes in your head, making you suspicious of your surroundings. A small chuckle left your mouth as you shook away the paranoia. No one would follow you, you didn’t do anything wrong. Toma wouldn’t dare, not after the lashing Kotoha gave him.

Still, it felt wonderful to see the tunnel you walked through earlier- nearly home. You scanned the graffiti until your eyes landed at the top of the arch. Feet and lungs stopped the moment your eyes processed a very familiar lion-dog emblem. That absolutely looked like how a group would mark the start of their territory. Your two worlds were literally a short tunnel apart.

Suddenly everything felt too real, too complicated. The skin under the scarf felt itchy but your fingers fumbled with the flimsy cloth, stress was gnawing at your heels. After a few seconds, which felt longer, you let out an irritated shout and ripped the fucking thing from your neck. The weight of everything felt too heavy, everyone felt too heavy, fuck your clothes felt to heavy. Tears formed in your eyes as your emotions swirled out of control.

The world started to fog as you took another shaking breath, slowly stepping into the tunnel. Each step your breathing got a bit more ragged. Dread filled you as breathing became extremely difficult.

You were having a panic attack.

The knowledge of this did not help though, it made your body feel all the heavier. You stopped unable to move, laptop bag and scarf slipping from your fingers to the ground. Your chest heaved painfully bringing you to your knees. Everything felt wrong, like the tunnel was closing in. Before you knew it, you were fully on your hands and knees just trying to breathe normally, tears painting the ground.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck..” You repeated, trying to reel everything back in.

“What's wrong, are you hurt?” The familiar voice of Togame pierced the veil of your anxiety. Your head shot up, a wild look on your face as you searched for his green eyes. With shaking hands you reached for him, needing him.

Togame's strong arms wrap around you, pulling you close against his chest. His familiar scent enveloping you, grounding you in the moment. You cling to him desperately, your fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt as you try to steady your breathing.

"I've got you," his voice was extremely low as he tried soothing you.

"Just breathe with me,” His chest began to rise and fall dramatically with your head pressed against him. You focus on the rise and fall- the warmth, trying to match your breathing to his. Slowly, the panic started to recede, leaving you feeling drained and lost. Togame's hand rubbed gentle circles on your back as he held you close, being the shield you needed.

"That's it," he said slowly. "I'm here."

"I'm sorry," you whisper, your voice hoarse. "I don't know what happened."

Togame pulls back slightly, his green eyes looking you over. "Don't apologize. Are you alright?"

You hesitate, unsure how to explain the whirlwind of emotions and revelations that led to this moment. "Yeah, I am." you manage- your body fully disagreeing. "Everything just felt overwhelming suddenly."

His gaze softens as he gently brushes a tear from your cheek. "You don't have to talk about it now.” He stated simply.

“Let's get you home,” He offered but you shook your head. You didn’t want to go home, if your aunt saw you this way, she wouldn’t let you leave the house again.

You shake your head, gripping Togame's shirt tighter. "No, please. I don't want to go home yet. Can we go somewhere else for a bit?"

Togame studies your face for a moment, then nods. "Alright. I know a place." With the utmost care, Togame helps you to your feet, steadying you with a hand on your lower back. He quickly bent down to retrieve your fallen bag and scarf, slinging them over his shoulder. You glance at him, still wanting to refrain from walking for a minute.

“Want a piggyback?” For the first time in the last few hours you laugh out with a bit of a hysterical edge, then shake your head no. While you did think he was strong, you did not need the question: “Am I too heavy?” answered today.

"No, I can walk," you say with a weak smile. "Just...hold me." Togame nodded while wrapping an arm around your waist as you began to walk. His presence is comforting, anchoring you down as you leave the tunnel behind. You lean into him slightly, grateful for his support.

The walk is quiet leaving you inside your mind still reeling from everything. In hindsight it felt dumb to have a panic attack over graffiti. You didn’t even know how to explain without sharing everything.

Several minutes passed as Togame led you down unfamiliar streets, away from the busier parts of town. Eventually, you find yourself in a small, secluded park. A few cherry blossom trees line a winding path, their petals drifting lazily in the breeze.

Togame guided you to a bench beneath one of the trees, helping you sit down before taking a seat beside you. Togame doesn't push you to talk, he just sits there with you in comfortable silence. You loved this, sitting with him in silence. The cafe had been a lot of fun at first but the eyes, the noise, the questions- it had all piled on so fast, leaving you hollow.

You take a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of trees. The park was quiet, empty of other people - recharging your battery slowly. Togame's arm remains around you, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your hip.

"Thank you," you murmur, leaning your head against his shoulder. "For being here."

Togame leaned in, pressing a soft kiss into your temple. "Always," he replies, his voice relaxed- like he didn’t just peel you off the ground.

You sit in silence for a while longer, watching the cherry blossom petals dance on the breeze. Gradually, you feel the tension leaving your body, replaced by a bone-deep exhaustion.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Togame asks cautiously, breaking the silence.

You hesitate, unsure how to explain honestly, but you swore not to lie to him. Your mouth remained closed, though you did try to speak. Your jaw wouldn’t move, your entire body struggled against the promise you made him. The thoughts: “it will change things”, “he’ll throw you away” , “JUST SAY IT” ran on repeat in your head until the thoughts became loud static.

“Can we talk about it tomorrow? I just need to sort my thoughts, it's about my cousin.” You finally managed out. While it was a complete cop-out, it did buy you time to figure out the answer to a singular question. What would you choose?

Togame nods, his expression carefully school. "Take the time you need." He gives your waist a gentle squeeze. "Talk when you’re ready." You feel a rush of gratitude at his patience, and a pang of guilt. On one side, there's Togame - this enigmatic man who's quickly becoming an important part of your life. Then there's your cousin- loving family, and his group, who clearly care about you. You didn’t forget Kotoha either, she was becoming a friend to whom you never wanted to say goodbye.

"Thank you," you murmur, snuggling closer to him. The warmth of his body and the gentle rustling of leaves above you creates a cocoon of comfort. For a while, you simply sit together, watching the sun's rays filter through the trees. The park remains blissfully empty, giving you space to breathe and collect yourself. Togame's steady presence beside you helps push all lingering anxiety at bay.

“So,” you started, feeling terrible for forgetting. “How was your day? You said it was busy.”

Togame shifts slightly, his arm tightening around you. "It’s been eventful," he says carefully but his tone was still laced with malice.

"Just some business matters that needed attention." he smiled “Always a mess to clean up.”

“Like a normal mess? Or a human mess?” You chuckled, filter is completely gone with your social battery so low.

“Well, there certainly was a type of human mess.” You stared at him, his smile still lazy but clearly amused at your shocked expression. He acted so normal but there was always a moment when he quietly reminded you of a cold truth, he was yakuza.

"I admit, I walked into that one." you pouted while nuzzling into his shoulder.

Togame hums in agreement, his fingers still tracing lazy patterns on your hip.

"Well, I'm glad you're okay," you say softly, looking up at him. "I was worried today, even though I didn’t know why."

Togame's expression softens as he meets your gaze. "Don't worry about me," he says, his voice gentle but firm. "I can handle myself."

You nod, trying to push away the nagging in your gut. "I know you can. It's just... I care about you." The words slip out before you can stop them, and you feel your face flush.

Togame's eyes widen slightly, a flicker of something unreadable passing through them. He cups your cheek gently, his thumb brushing over your skin. "Such a good girl," he chuckles before capturing your lips. You lean into his touch, closing your eyes for a moment- just taking him in. You savored the taste of him and the comfort of his touch. For a moment, all your worries fade away, replaced by the simple pleasure of being close to him. When you finally pull apart, you feel more grounded than you have all day.

"We should head back," Togame says softly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "It's getting late." You pull your phone from your pocket checking the time, it was 6:36 PM. You frown, you had left the cafe around 4 PM, how could two hours have passed without you noticing?

"If we must," you sighed, reluctant to leave this peaceful bubble you've found with Togame.

He stands, offering you his hand. You take it, allowing him to pull you to your feet, your items still in his hand. As you start walking back towards the park entrance, Togame keeps his arm around you, his warmth an always comforting presence at your side.

The streets were near silent as the day faded into evening. Street Lights flicker on, casting a soft glow over the sidewalks. You walk in companionable silence, your mind still turning over everything that's happened today.

As you near your aunt's home, you feel disappointment brewing. Togame gives you a sense of stability, or perhaps, a sense of being cared for. The thought of going back to your room alone, with all your swirling thoughts and worries, makes your chest tighten.

"Will you come in for a bit?" you ask softly, looking up at Togame. "I don't want to be alone just yet."

Togame studies your face for a moment, his green eyes lingering on your eyes then slowly moving to your neck. He sighed before cupping your face. “I have to return to work.” he smiled, “Are you free tomorrow morning?” he added.

You try to hide your disappointment, forcing a small smile. "I understand. Tomorrow morning works for me. I don't have any classes on Tuesday."

Togame nods, his thumb gently caressing your cheek. "Good. I'll pick you up at 10 AM. We can have breakfast." The promise of seeing him again tomorrow lifts your spirits enough to willingly go inside.

"I'd like that," you say softly.

As you reach the front door, Togame pulls you close, wrapping both arms around you. You melt into his embrace, breathing in his scent and savoring the feeling of safety it brings.

"Get some rest," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Call me if you need anything."

You nod against his chest. "I will. See you tomorrow Togame." He gives you a firm squeeze then carefully pulls away, holding your stuff out to take- which you slowly reclaim. With one last smile and lazy wave he sets off, phone in hand.

You watch Togame walk away, his broad shoulders fading into the evening shadows. With a deep sigh, you turn and enter the house, the weight of the day settling back onto your shoulders. It was a bit disturbing how the absence of Togame made your body feel instantly heavy, and mind cloudy.

As you unlock the door, you're greeted by the soft glow of the TV and the smell of something cooking. Your aunt is in her usual spot on the couch, her eyes barely flicking to you as you enter.

"I'm home," you call out softly, slipping off your shoes.

"There's curry on the stove if you're hungry," she replies, her attention still fixed on the TV.

You pause in the hallway, torn between hunger and the desire to retreat to your room. "Thanks for making dinner, Auntie. I might have some later. I did a lot of studying so I’m a bit tired." Your aunt did not respond so you took that as a sign she was okay for the night.

“Shout if you need me auntie.” you offered one last time.

Once in your room, you toss your stuff to the side then collapse onto your bed, staring up at the ceiling. The events of the day stay fixed in your mind - the awkward encounter at the cafe, Kotoha's warnings, your panic attack, and Togame's arm. It's all too much to process, but you had too. Togame needed to know what was happening, and you didn’t want to keep it from him any longer.

Rolling onto your side, you bear hugged all your pillows, curling up tight. Part of you wants to text Kotoha, to pour out everything that happened after you left the cafe. She would know the right thing to say.

You reach for your phone, but stop short of texting. As much as you want to confide in Kotoha, you're not sure how much you can safely tell her. Instead, you pop up and grab your laptop then shuffle back to bed. You pull up a blank document. Maybe writing it all out will help you make sense of things.

Your fingers hover over the keyboard as you try to find the right words. How do you explain the tangled web of relationships you've found yourself caught in? You start typing, letting your thoughts flow freely onto the page:

"I never meant for things to get so complicated. When I came to Japan, I thought it would be a fresh start, a chance to focus on my studies while having a few adventures along the way. I didn't expect to get caught up in the complex dynamics of this neighborhood. To meet someone like Tagome..” Your fingers stopped, mind going blank.

Your eyes landed on your phone. You could call him, he said you could..but you didn’t need anything. Well, you felt like you needed him- but you didn’t need anything else. Shaking your head to close the laptop and slumped back in bed. Maybe it was time to sleep, even if it was early.

Togame’s POV

Togame read over the text "At Cafe Pothos studying. Everything okay?" and felt agitation creep up his spine. It wasn’t enough to get fully mad, but he did respond with a curt message instead of his normal forced texts- he loathed texting. It wasn’t that she was off with a friend studying, it was that she was out of reach. Due to some standing agreements he could go into Bofurin territory but he would be subject to stops, and he did not have the patience as of late to deal with some chump upstart trying to climb ranks by wasting his time. No, if that happened the tentative balance between Shishitoren and Bofurin would instantly collapse.

As he walked to her aunt’s home his phone kept going off. Texts updating him on more people being brought in, questioned- some light beatings for information. While he had been there when people came in, it took a while to break people down, and he had decided to step away- he wanted to see his favorite girl.

He stood at her aunt's house which showed little movement inside, and the light to her bedroom was off. Looking at his phone he noticed she should have been home by now, or very near. With a quick nod and the pocketing of his cell, he turned towards the tunnel connecting Shishitoren and Bofurin, that was the most likely route for her to take- he’d just meet her there.

He was not expecting, nor prepared for what he saw. Rounding the corner to the tunnel had made all his training worth something, his body moved on its own. The 100 yards he had to gap to reach her took him six seconds, five seconds too long in his mind.

The sight of her on the ground, hands and knees crying set him on edge. He looked around for an attacker but saw no one. Then slowly he reached out, his voice seeming to break through whatever cloud she was in. The way she looked at him shifted his entire universe. No one had ever looked at him that way. It was desperation beyond wanting, or needing- it was feverish.

Her wild eyes locked onto his, relief seemed to wash over her as she reached for him, hands shaking violently. Without hesitation, Togame pulled her into his arms, holding her body tightly against his chest. She clung to him desperately, as tears covered his shirt- her sobs cutting him. He whispered reassures as it dawned on him this was a panic attack. Even knowing it was not dangerous he found her panic was triggering his fight or flight. His grip kept flexing, reminding him to not accidentally crush her.

With guided breathing she slowly came back to him. He kept his breathing exaggerated and steady for her to match. Slowly, he felt the tension start to leave her soft body- sobs quieting. When she finally spoke, her voice was hoarse, making his heart clenched. Her apology nearly made him howl in rage. He didn’t want her to apologize,he wanted to understand- to help.

As she fully returned to him, Togame found himself at a loss. His mind raced as he held her, trying to piece together what could have triggered such an intense panic attack. The sight of her gasping for air, had shaken him more than he cared to admit. He was used to dealing with violence, with threats, but not this. He had wanted to scoop her up and carry her home but he knew she would squirm, and with her fragile state he didn’t want her going off the deep end again, so he let it go- for now.

While he guided her to the park, his arm wrapped protectively around her waist, enjoying the sensation of her body on his. He did notice the way her body leaned into him for support, the slight tremor that still ran through her body - it all made him want to shield her from whatever had caused this- from everything. If it had been a person, well, he was creative when needed- he’d figure something out.

Sitting on the bench, surrounded by the gentle fall of cherry blossoms, Togame felt an unfamiliar sense of peace. Her presence, even in this vulnerable state, grounded him in a way he hadn't experienced before. He wanted to stay there for much longer, but the spare moment he had used to come say hello had long expired.

It had been really difficult to say no to staying over for a bit. He really wanted to lay down, her snug in his arms while he also rested-but now was not the time. His phone had kept going off the entire time he was away, the vibrations increasingly close together. No, he had to focus on work for the moment.

Togame's jaw clenched as he read through the messages on his phone. The situation back at headquarters was escalating, and his absence was being noted. As much as he wanted to stay, to make sure she was truly alright, duty called.

He quickened his pace, his mind becoming a haze of white noise. The captives were talking, but the information they provided only raised more questions. Someone was moving against Shishitoren, testing their borders, probing for weaknesses- clearly finding one.

As he approached the Orion, Togame took a deep breath, pushing all thoughts, all worries to the back of his mind. He needed to focus now.

"About time," Choji whined as Togame entered the dimly lit entrance. “You’ve been missing all the fun.” Blood on Choji’s fingers displayed the work his leader has put into the investigation.

“Dealing with some personal stuff. Here now.” Choji gave a blank stare for a moment then put on a goofy grin laced with his particular brand of madness.

“Don't let it get in the way,” It was small, but Togame heard the threat all the same.

Togame's eyes narrowed slightly at Choji's words, but he kept his expression neutral. "It won't," he said coolly, brushing past Choji and heading deeper into the building.

The basement air was thick with the metallic scent of blood and wet stone. Three men were tied to chairs, their faces bruised and swollen. Then in the corner a woman was tied up, to his relief not harmed. While this grim life led to women getting involved, Togame made a point to never hit women. If it was outside survival it wasn't allowed by anyone in Shishitoren. It took a minute but he did recognize them as low-level members of a group that had been causing trouble on the fringes of Shishitoren territory for the last few years.

"What have they told us?" Togame asked, his voice even toned.

Yukinari stepped forward, wiping his hands on a cloth. "Not much yet, boss. They claim they were just following orders, but won't say from who." After a second he followed up, “The package was delivered to an unknown person, but we are working on that.”

Togame nodded, his eyes scanning the battered men. He approached the one in the middle, who seemed the most coherent. His height on full display made the man shrink back.

“Now that introductions are done, you’re gonna tell me the truth.” He paused looking over at the woman who was crying. “Or things are going to get very personal.” A wolf-like grin spread across Togame’s face.

“What was his mothers name again?” Yukinari pulled a file from a nearby table.

“Sato Noriko,” He responded to Togame’s question. “Ah, that’s right. Send two men to greet Miss Sato, see if her home needs any repairs done.” While the threat was a bit much, Togame was tired. He wanted answers and if he had to thrash an old lady's apartment to recover 250 worth of product, he would.

The man in the chair visibly paled at the mention of his mother's name. His eyes darted between Togame and Yukinari- who was already talking on his phone, panic evident on his face.

"Wait, please," he croaked out. "I'll tell you what I know. Just leave my mother out of this."

Togame's expression remained impassive, but he nodded slightly. "Start talking then."

The man swallowed hard, wincing at the pain in his bruised throat. "We were hired by someone from Bofurin. I don't know his name. Said they wanted to test Shishitoren's defenses, see how quickly you'd respond to disruptions."

Togame's eyes narrowed. "Bofurin?" That didn’t sound right. “They were wearing a green jacket?” he questioned.

The man nodded frantically. "Yes, I saw it with my own eyes.” There was no way he was telling the truth. Umemiya had spent the last several years avoiding conflict at all costs. Togame's mind filtered through different possibilities as he processed this information. Bofurin ordering incursions into Shishitoren territory didn't align with what he knew of Hajime Umemiya or his methods. Something wasn't adding up.

"Describe this man," Togame demanded, his voice low and dangerous. "Every detail you can remember." his knuckles cracking as flexed them, preparing.

The captive swallowed hard, his eyes locked nervously on Togame. "He was tall, maybe a little shorter than you. Dark hair. It looked like he had a scar on his neck or a tattoo. The jacket was definitely green though!"

Togame exchanged a glance with Yukinari. This description didn't match anyone they knew in Bofurin's upper ranks. Either this man was lying, someone was impersonating Bofurin members, or Hajime was testing a new policy- which felt very unlikely. Togame stepped back, jaw setting in place as he prepared for the next steps he needed to take.

“Alright, I believe you.” Togame said plainly. “But it doesn’t change anything.” The man’s face fell.

“Take them all back, let the girl go, we have her information.” He paused, nothing could stop the train now. “Make a show of them. Take whoever you need.” The three men began to cry, begging for leniency but Togame wouldn’t hear any of it.

“And his mom?” Yukinari questioned, phone to his ear. Togame looked back at the man, who had now pissed his pants. It was exhausting having to deal with so many problems at once.

“Send Miss Sato a bouquet, from her son.” That was the most he could offer. The man gargled out pleas but Togame was already leaving the room- there was far more to be done.

#wind breaker anime #wind breaker #jo togame wind breaker #togame jo #jo togame #togame jo x reader #shishitoren #fanfic

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