#just feels

[kibblbread]

AK!Jason doesn’t really like anything.. but he really likes spending time with you.

There isn’t much joy in his life, and when he does experience it, it’s pretty hard to tell. Very hard in fact. When Jason is his absolute happiest it’s truly rare that he’s fully conscious or not coming down from a state of extreme distress and panic.

More recent anecdotes of him happily existing involve him waking up or falling asleep alongside you, preventing a loved one from being fatally hurt, or brutalizing soneone that hurts you. Pretty scary, but these aren’t things he wants to acknowledge in the slightest or ever make known to you. External validation is necessary for him to truly feel good at this point in his life, which is something you’re privy to— just not the extent obviously.

When JT is hardly awake or really beginning to fall into what’ll be a comfortable dreamless sleep, he feels safe and secure enough to relax properly. He’s being held, allowed to be perceivably weak in a way that he deems acceptable. He can bury himself deep into the warmth and softness of your body to be protected from the nipping cold of Gotham.

It’s such a special time for him, a sacred moment that he cherishes.

You are his one precious piece of bliss.

Jason doesn’t acknowledge your gentle scalp rubs and lip balm coated kisses outside of a slight tightening of his grasp on your t-shirt. Greedily and lazily claiming his lover and her kind gestures of affection.

This is the most common and most easily detectable example of happiness from Jason. It’s somewhat complex without any explanation but still worth noting to an observant s/o of JT. I think that Jason himself though wouldn’t identify this experience (or lack of) is actually happening beyond him being happy to snuggle every once in a while. Being able to be excited to be touched instead of anxious or irrationally annoyed, it doesn’t occur to himself how often he’s in a nasty mood.

Preventing a loved one from being hurt only gives a small sense of joy that’s usually overshadowed by guilt and anger. The fact that the situation happened in the first place is somehow his own fault in the mind of Jason. But there are times where you’re able to thank him immediately after the fact, those are the times he can feel ego. That pat on the back is always a major surprise to him! Any gratitude he receives in moments so stressful boost his confidence a lot. When you do that he doesn’t have to much time to think about every specific way he fucked up, instead he’s concentrated on rationalizing why you’re complimenting something that in his head could’ve been somehow avoided.

You give him a quick hug and smile up at his faceless red helmet, telling him things could’ve ended terribly if he hadn’t been there. There is a small ping of joy radiate from within his chest. The positive reinforcement of your small affirming touches and verbal encouragement give pause to the harsh self criticisms. While the ultimate core emotions attached to this moment would be some initial surprise and frustration, there will always be a lingering feeling of pride that he got to be your hero.

As for getting a lick-back for your sake, lol, he’s pretty fucked up about it. Whether it be a lowly henchman/gang member or a notorious villain, he doesn’t know when to let up— or if he wants to. Deep down Jason derives a sick sense of joy from maiming people. It’s not his fault, but it’s his responsibility to face this dark and crooked part of himself. He knows it spooks you, it spooks all his loved ones, but he can’t help it can he? He can’t help being the twisted mangled thing Joker forced him to become.

Jason just wants you to feel safe.

He almost never feels safe so this is a favor from him to you of course..

For you to feel safe around a psycho like him.

[selineram3421]

*me after watching Episode 3 of THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS*

Kinger...

[respectthepetty]

[bluebirdsongs16]

Crowley risks himself because he was led to believe he isn't worthy of Love.

Aziraphale denies Crowley to protect him, because he loves Crowley more than Crowley loves himself. To Aziraphale, Crowley is too precious to risk losing.

Aziraphale forgiving him isn't what Crowley wants to hear, but Aziraphale's forgiveness is grace. It's compassion and empathy and love—the kind Crowley didn't receive when he fell.

[mingot-studios]

Feelin SO vindicated right now with all the people calling out the HB Antis

(I know its just about Bee's design but ill take what I can get at this point)

[flyingwhitesheet]

Thinking about Hozier's "The obly heaven I'll be sent to is when I'm alone with you" a lot today

[angelbvn]

soemthing is amiss

[bonefall]

Is 12 really that ancient for a cat? My cat is 11 and he still zooms around 24/7 like a kitten

Because your cat's well taken care of, inside without any worms or infection or bulldozers

I do actually have the Clan cats living longer than most wild cats thanks to their fancy society, and medicine, but the natural lifespan is usually around 14-ish for them. Wild cats often don't get past even 5 years.

There are plenty of examples of Clan cats living much longer, though. Tallstar for example is going to be looking at 18. Misty beats him with a whopping 19. Pinestar’s 15 looks humble in comparison.

[mistress-light]

Me not writing a little add on fic of the ending of ITWT.

[nightmare8-420]

god why dont i feel like a human

[incandescentflower]

Got myself ready to go back to Somebody to You, my IP Semantic Error fic. Reread the whole thing, finished watching the movie version of SE, updated my outline then....

decided to rewatch Never Let Me Go

I'm clearly broken 😂

but also, nlmg is that good.

I did come up with 300 words of Palm pov, so that felt nice. Writer brain isn't completely broken. But I think I want to see what they do with the next episode before I write too much.

I've gotta just make myself open that SE doc...

[niggafeels]

Monday, July 3rd, 2023

I am just posting to let you know I am alive.

I have not attempted an unaliving but I am still depressed.

Hoping to set up an appointment for tomorrow with a professional counselor.

Hope I can get help.

[puppyeared]

filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[shrubsparrow]

It's in the eye of the beholder