#just dont be surprised other people dont like it!!!!

[jzprncess]

the missing melody ♪

part 2 part 1

pairing : franco colapinto x singer!reader

faceclaim : various people!

summary: With the Grand Prix results in, Y/N returns home inspired, diving back into her music. Meanwhile, Franco, curious about the singer he met, follows her on social media. What begins as casual online exchanges soon hints at a deeper connection.

warnings : some singers do not exist in this au since i might take their songs!

note : MERRY CHRISTMAS!! here is your surprise, i know some have been waiting but ive been in a writing block. dont kill me bc its short! i suck at writing UGHHHHHH

     ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

 williamsracing just posted 

liked by yourusername, username2, and 535,290 others 

williamsracing TEAM 💙  10 POINTS IN BAKU 🔥🔥🔥

An incredible drive by both drivers and we secure P7 and P8. GET IN THERE! 👏  This is only the beginning.

view all comments 

username2 VAMOS VAMOS VAMOS 🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷

username4 this progress of williams is what’s giving me hopes for carlos next year 🥲

username6 🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷

username8 WOWWWW BRAVO 👏🏼👏🏼

username3 COLAPINTO2025 

username5 STANDING OVATION!!! 🔥🔥

username5 y/n was the good luck charm! i’m telling you! 🫵🏼

username7 simply lovely

yourusername grateful to be here and watch the team score some points. it’s amazing to watch, might just have to join for another race soon. thanks again for letting me join in the paddock! 🇦🇷🔥💙

↳williamsracing we’re glad to have you y/n, can’t wait to see you trackside again! wishing you luck on your future endeavors! 💙

↳alex_albon appreciate it! we hope to see you soon!

↳francolapinto glad you could be here! i would love for you to come to another race, let’s make it happen. 💙

↳username5 now i need her to go to another race this season

third pov

As the Grand Prix weekend drew to a close, Y/N felt a bittersweet mix of relief and melancholy. The weekend had been a whirlwind, filled with the excitement of the race and the unexpected attention she had garnered from her appearance. The crowded paddock and constant buzz of conversations had left her mentally drained, but as she walked toward the car that would take her back home, there was a certain peace settling over her.

The world outside the track seemed quieter, more serene. She could hear the faint hum of the engines in the distance as the final laps were being completed, but for her, it was time to leave the chaos behind. The press, the cameras, the questions—all of it faded away as she slid into the front seat, the doors closing softly behind her, sealing her off from the world she had momentarily rejoined.

She pulled out of the paddock, and stared out the window, watching the lights of the city blur past as she made her way back home. The city was still alive, but she felt removed from it, as though she were floating in a different space. Her mind wandered back to the people she had met during the weekend—the 2 william's drivers, the fans, the connections she made. She longed for the solitude of her room, a place where she could decompress and regain the clarity she so desperately sought. 

As the car rounded a corner, she caught a glimpse of the track once more, her heart stirring with a mix of admiration and uncertainty. She wasn’t sure what the future held, but for now, she was content to retreat into her own world and reflect on the moments that had left an imprint on her soul.

franco’s pov 

I stood on the podium, the aftertaste of victory still fresh as my team erupted in celebration. My first points of the season—it wasn’t much, but it felt like a significant step forward. The atmosphere was electric, and for a brief moment, it felt like everything was falling into place. But even with all the cheering and the congratulations, my thoughts kept drifting to something—or rather, someone—that had caught my attention this weekend. Y/N. I didn’t know much about her, but I couldn’t ignore the way she moved through the paddock with such quiet grace. It wasn’t just her fame, though that was undeniable; it was something about her presence. She wasn’t demanding attention, yet everyone seemed to be aware of her, drawn to her in a way that made me curious.

There was something magnetic about her. It wasn’t just the way she looked—it was the way she carried herself. She didn’t seem to be seeking validation from anyone. She wasn’t flashy, but there was an air of confidence, a mystery to her that intrigued me. 

I’d seen her throughout the weekend, but it was when I finally met her that everything clicked. We had a brief conversation with Alex, nothing too elaborate, just a few exchanged words, but it felt different somehow. The way she spoke, the way she listened—it was all so natural, so unassuming. She wasn’t trying to impress anyone, and yet there was something about her that made me want to know more. Her smile, the subtle warmth in her eyes—it was like she was letting me see just a glimpse of who she was, without revealing too much. It wasn’t anything dramatic, just a casual interaction, but it left me wanting to understand what lay beneath that composed, almost guarded exterior. There was more to her, I was sure of it, and that curiosity lingered long after our conversation ended.

The more I thought about her, the more I found myself wondering what had brought her to this point in her life. Here she was, standing on the fringes of our world—famous, yes, but still somewhat distant, as if she didn’t quite belong to this chaotic universe we all lived in.

I read her Instagram post after the race, since I was already in the car on the grid, when she posted it. She had opened up about the struggles she had been facing, about stepping away from the spotlight and the personal battles she was fighting. It was raw and vulnerable, nothing like the polished image the world saw. It made me realize that the person I had met wasn’t the confident star I had expected, but someone much more complex. She wasn’t just another celebrity navigating the chaos of fame—there was a quiet strength to her, a kind of raw honesty that made me want to understand her even more.

Back in my hotel room later that evening, after everything had quieted down, I found myself scrolling through my phone. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, about that brief moment when our eyes had met. I opened Instagram without really thinking about it, my fingers moving almost on autopilot as I searched for her name. Something inside me told me to take this small step. I followed her. There was no reason why I should expect anything from it, but I felt the impulse to reach out in some way, even if it was just this simple action.

I sat back on the bed as I hit “follow,” my heart beating a little faster as I did. I wasn’t expecting her to notice, but something about it felt right. I scrolled through her feed, each post revealing just a little more about who she was. There was an intimacy to her posts, the way she shared pieces of herself without fully letting anyone in. It wasn’t the usual curated perfection I saw from other influencers. Each photo seemed to tell a story, but only if you were paying close attention. I couldn’t help but be intrigued. Maybe it was the beginning of something, or maybe it was just a small, fleeting curiosity that would fade away. But as I followed her, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was just the start of something that could pull me into her world in ways I hadn’t anticipated.

y/n’s pov 

As I stirred the sauce, my phone dinged from across the kitchen. I wiped my hands on a towel and walked over to check it. When I unlocked the screen, I saw Franco had followed me on Instagram. I paused, staring at the notification for a moment, a little caught off guard. My mind raced as I thought about our brief encounter, and I felt a sudden urge to message him. Taking a deep breath, I opened the app, ready to start typing.

messages

third pov

Y/N stood in her kitchen, wiping down the last of the plates from dinner, the sounds of the quiet house filling the space around her. She had eaten alone tonight, a habit she’d fallen into over the past few months. The familiar hum of the dishwasher was the only noise, but her mind was elsewhere. Franco’s face kept drifting into her thoughts—his easy smile, the way his eyes lit up when they spoke. They’d only met today, briefly, but something about him had stuck with her.

It had been a long day at the Grand Prix, full of excitement and noise, but when their conversation had veered into something personal, something quiet, it had been like the world had narrowed down to just the two of them. She had felt a spark, undeniable and electric, even though she knew he’d be leaving soon. He was on his way to Mexico for the next race, already on the plane when she had sat down to dinner by herself, yet the connection lingered in the back of her mind.

Y/N sighed, reaching for her notebook that rested on the counter. As she flipped through the pages, her fingers brushed over old lyrics, half-finished songs, and abandoned ideas. She hadn’t written anything in weeks—no inspiration, no motivation. But tonight felt different. She had this restless energy swirling inside her, something she couldn’t ignore. She sat down and began to write.

The pen moved quickly, almost without thought. The words felt raw, like they were pouring out of her all at once. She wasn’t sure if it was the memories of the day or the faint pull of something more, but she couldn’t stop herself. The chorus took shape, the melody forming like a whispered secret.

“It’s all in my head / I’ll keep it to myself / I know that you’ll never see it / I’m just looking for a reason..” (the bottom by gracie abrams)

Her mind wandered back to Franco, and she found herself replaying their brief encounter over and over. There was something about him—something real and different from anyone she’d met in a long time. But he was leaving for Mexico, and soon enough, he’d be consumed by the fast-moving world of Formula 1. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever see him again, and the uncertainty gnawed at her.

But still, there was this quiet tug inside her, a feeling she couldn’t shake. Maybe—just maybe—this moment held more than she’d first realized. It was all in her head, she thought, but she couldn’t help but hope for something more.

As she continued to write, her hand moved almost instinctively, the words flowing faster than she could process. It was like the music was the only place that made sense, the only thing that could capture what she couldn’t quite say out loud. She smiled softly as the song began to take shape, feeling that spark of something inside her. It wasn’t finished yet, but there was a sense that this was just the beginning.

The quiet of the house was only interrupted by the soft scratch of Y/N's pen as she wrote, her thoughts wandering to the conversation she’d had earlier with Franco. Her phone suddenly buzzed, and she jumped slightly. Seeing Franco's name on the screen made her hesitate, but she quickly answered, trying to sound calm.

*start of phone call*

“Hello?” she said, her shyness making the greeting almost tentative.

“Hey, it’s Franco,” came his familiar voice, sounding warm and easy. “I just landed in Mexico. How’s your night going?”

Y/N felt a small smile tug at her lips, a slight relief washing over her. “Hi, Franco. It’s going okay... just writing. How about you? How was the flight?”

“It was fine, a bit long, but nothing I can’t handle,” Franco replied, his tone light. “It feels good to be here, though. Getting ready for the weekend.”

Y/N shifted in her seat, her fingers tapping nervously on her notebook. “Yeah, I’m sure it must be a bit overwhelming. But, uh, you’ve done this kind of travel before, right?”

Franco laughed softly, clearly amused. “You could say that. But every new race feels a little different. There’s always something new to learn. What about you? I know you’ve only been to one race, right?”

“Yeah, just today.” Y/N said, a little shy about admitting she was still new to the whole experience. “It was... a lot. But really exciting too. I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I did.”

“That’s awesome. What did you think of the atmosphere?” Franco asked, genuinely curious.

Y/N smiled, remembering the energy from the day. “It was wild, in a good way. I didn’t really know what to expect, but the crowd was so into it. It’s different from anything I’ve ever experienced.”

“I can imagine. There’s just something about a race day, huh?” Franco said. “It gets under your skin.”

“Yeah, I think I get that now,” Y/N replied, feeling a little more relaxed as the conversation moved away from the work side of things. “It’s... thrilling. I can see why people love it.”

“So, what did you do after the race? Did you go back hotel?” Franco asked, genuinely interested in how she was spending her time.

Y/N shifted slightly, a little self-conscious. “No, I just came home. I haven't been, um... great with big crowds recently, so I thought I’d unwind for the night. I guess it’s a good thing I like being alone sometimes.”

“I totally get that,” Franco said, his voice softer now, almost like he understood exactly what she meant. “I’m kind of the same way. Traveling and being around people can be... draining.”

Y/N smiled faintly, feeling a little more at ease. “Yeah, exactly. It’s nice to just have a quiet night to yourself.”

There was a pause, and then Franco continued, “What do you usually do when you’re alone? Like, when you’re not writing?”

Y/N hesitated before answering, her fingers gently brushing over the edges of her notebook. “I, uh, watch movies sometimes. Old ones. And I read a lot too. Mostly books that... help me forget everything for a little while.”

Franco’s voice was warm, and she could tell he was trying to keep the conversation light. “I think I’d like some movie recommendations. I’ve been wanting to watch something different, but I don’t know where to start.”

Y/N smiled softly, appreciating how easy the conversation was flowing now. “I could definitely do that. If you like old films, I’d recommend some classic noirs. They’re... atmospheric, but in a cool way.”

“Sounds perfect,” Franco said, clearly interested. “I’ll have to try that when I’m not in race mode.”

“I’ll make a list for you, then,” Y/N replied, her voice lightening a little. “Maybe next time we talk, I can recommend a few more.”

“I’ll look forward to it,” Franco said with a gentle laugh. “It’s nice just to talk about something that’s not... the race or the schedule.”

“Yeah, it is,” Y/N said quietly, feeling a strange sense of connection. “I didn’t expect it to be so easy to talk.”

“Me neither,” Franco agreed. “But I’m glad we’re talking.”

Y/N smiled, feeling a little more comfortable with the whole situation. “Me too. It’s... nice. I’m glad you called.”

“Glad I did too. Well, I’ll let you get back to your writing,” Franco said, though his voice didn’t sound ready to hang up. “But we’ll talk soon, okay?”

“Yeah,” Y/N replied softly. “Take care, Franco.”

“You too, Y/N. Talk soon,” he said before hanging up.

Y/N set the phone down, a quiet smile on her face. She didn’t know why she felt so calm after talking to him, but somehow, it felt like the beginning of something she hadn’t expected. A spark had been lit inside her, something she hadn’t felt in a while. Her mind was buzzing, and for the first time in days, she felt truly alive.

She glanced at the clock—still early, though not for long—and something inside her stirred. Without thinking, she grabbed her notebook and walked out of the room, heading down the hall toward her studio. The house was quiet, still, but her mind was racing. As she flipped the lights on in the small room filled with instruments, sound equipment, and all the tools of her trade, it was as if everything clicked into place

The walls, once silent and stifling, now seemed to hum with possibility. She set her notebook down, reached for her laptop, and immediately pulled up her music software. Her fingers hovered over the keys, and within minutes, she was in the zone, the melody flowing almost effortlessly. Ideas she hadn’t known were waiting to be discovered spilled out of her, notes and lyrics coming together like pieces of a puzzle she hadn’t known needed solving.

For hours, she lost herself in the music. The hours seemed to melt away, her focus unwavering as she crafted something new, something personal, something that felt like it was coming from the depths of her soul. She tweaked, arranged, and layered tracks, her mind guided only by the spark Franco had unknowingly ignited. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this inspired.

By the time the sun began to rise, Y/N was still in her studio, headphones on, eyes tired but exhilarated. She hadn’t noticed the time slipping by until she glanced at the clock again. The song wasn’t finished, but it was close. She smiled to herself, realizing that the night had passed without her even thinking about the exhaustion she usually felt. It was as though the music had become the one thing that could make her forget everything else.

She leaned back in her chair, taking a deep breath, and for the first time in what felt like forever, she was grateful for this new, unexpected source of inspiration. And in the back of her mind, she knew this song was only the beginning.

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taglist: @heluvsjappie @awritingtree @steamy-smokey

[rathayibacter]

Ok so how does one MAKE a tabletop game because this is something I want to try!! Are there good references out there for non-d20 systems or how to balance mechanics yourself?

oooh, hell yeah! honestly the big thing is to just do it, unlike board and video games the gap between idea and execution in ttrpgs is incredibly narrow, so if youve got an idea just start writing stuff down and see where it starts pulling you, where it feels like something's missing, find what excites you and what you feel isn't working. but that's not very specific, so let's get into it!

first off, read games! read weird games! there's tons of free ttrpgs on itch, lots of people sharing their work here and on other social media, there's 200 word rpgs here and here, and lots of system reference documents written specifically for people looking to hack games. reading other games is a great way to enrich your work whether you're building systems from scratch or working in an existing framework, because every game you read will show you a new way of approaching design problems.

on that note, draw inspiration outside of ttrpgs too! i pull a lot from video, board, and card games in my work, as well as poetry, novels, movies, etc etc etc. im autistic, and ive spent a lot of my life thinking about and dissecting unwritten social rules, so that's another big source of material for me. take your passions, whatever they may be, and put them in your work!

next up, think about the core of your game, sometimes called the minimum viable product. this is whatever the fundamental idea at the heart of your work is, and it's important to keep in mind because it keeps you from spiraling down unnecessary tangents. the core of your game can change, don't get me wrong! in fact, it likely will. what you want to do isn't prevent your work from growing and changing, but have a point of light you can always refer back to and ask "is what im doing important to this game?" you might be surprised by what you find isn't actually as important as you thought at first, and what turns out to be vital to the experience you're going for.

next up, once you start working, don't throw things away. if youre working in a word processor or google docs, it can help to have a section at the bottom of your document that you copy anything youd otherwise delete into. i do the same with my Affinity documents, ill have a few pages i dont export to store all my scraps. i know other folks who keep a dedicated scraps document that they use across projects. whatever works for you! the reason you do this is twofold: it makes it easier to cut things if you know you can always put it back later if you change your mind, and it gives you a lot of raw material that you can pull from in the future. months or years from now, you might find yourself looking to fill a gap in a new design and realize that some cool toy you set aside is exactly what you were looking for.

lastly, i wanna strongly encourage you to practice finishing things. that's often the hardest part for people, cuz we have a lot more experience starting projects than finishing them. here id like to once again direct you to 200 word rpgs, because that strict limit means you wind up with a finished first draft really quickly, and the rest of it is polishing and editing. once you've finished some bite-sized projects, you'll have a better idea of what it entails, what parts you're good at and what parts you struggle with, when to keep working and when to cut yourself off. i find it really helpful to add arbitrary limitations and deadlines on my work because that helps me push myself to finish something when otherwise i'd just keep adding and tweaking, but you'll find what works best for you!

[genderqueerdykes]

I'm gonna be real for a minute, and i hope i can phrase this right; i dont feel bad when i get misgendered. whether on purpose or accident, I don't feel anxious or angry or anything like that. like, when it happens mid conversation, it's at the back of my mind, sure, but it's hard to get upset about it. if anything, its a bit....i guess, affirming? I mean, there was this one time I was at the store dressed like i usually am, and when someone called me to a particular place, they initially said "sir" before correcting themselves and I remember thinking something along the lines of "wow....they couldnt tell what i am" and it felt.....good. I am genderfluid, but my presentation stays pretty consistent most of the time, so I kind of expect people to immediately clock me as my AGAB. so when I'm referred to as anything but that, it's more of a surprise than an offense, if that makes sense. to tell the truth, I dont know if this is a good or bad thing, but I do know it's probably got a name. anyway, I understand youre dealing with a lot right now, so i hope youre at least stable for the moment, whatever you're doing.

i've met other people who feel the same way, you're not alone!

a lot of people either just aren't affected by being misgendered at all, and others like you mentioned, actually enjoy the fact that strangers can't tell what gender you are. i'm actually the same way, i get such a rush out of people not knowing what gender i am. it's honestly great, as a genderqueer person, i often get he and she'd and ma'am and sir'd in the same conversation and it can be pretty awesome. i think for a lot of genderfluid and genderqueer and genderfucky people, this can be a pretty affirming situation!

i'm not sure if there's a term for this experience, but i would say it's not a bad thing! if it makes you feel good, and you're literally not hurting anyone, then yeah that's a good thing!

thank you so much i appreciate you! i'm taking it easy for a few days due to the holidays, so i appreciate that! i hope you're doing well, as well.

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

What is the first Christmas outside of the factory like for the toys? Do they celebrate it?

Normalcy and other weird things you never heard about

Hiiii! Decided to write something short for this one. I'll be working on all the other Christmas stuff possibly tomorrow! Thanks for the ask, Anon!

As always: 2nd person POV because Angel refers to themself as "you" instead of "me". Also not as always, but this isn't proofread!

"This is weird".

Bunzo holds the comically large Santa Claus hat, wriggling it around. You carefully grab a few extra chocolate boxes to put on your already full cart. "Why?", you ask the bunny as he almost hits his head against another person's legs. "Eyes on front, not the floor!"

"Why would anyone believe a single guy can give presents to all the kids in the world?"

"Parents tell their kids that so they can have more fun during Christmas time", you respond, stopping the cart to now realize you forgot the milk. Again. "To have some magic, I guess".

"Kids are dumb", Bunzo then tries the hat on, ignoring the price tag clashing against his head.

"You are a kid".

You chuckle at his indignant expression before being surprised by a pair of comically long yellow arms. Ollie emerges from the other corridor, milk on hand and a tired expression on his face. "You forgot that again".

"Thanks, Owl".

The long legs then stares at Bunzo and rolls his eyes. "You look like a dumb kid".

"Hey!"

"Please don't fight at the grocery store again", you sigh. "Where's Dogday?"

"Here!"

The pup appears, wheelchair adorned with Christmas decoration and a red scarf wrapped around his neck. He's holding a few items on his lap, while Delight walks next to him with a very proud expression on her face and a cart full of things. "We completed our list!", she announces. "Did you finish yours, Angel?"

"Ollie just grabbed our last items".

Bunzo climbs your back. You dont even react. "But I helped!"

"Heck yeah, you did", a well-deserved head scratch for him. Bunzo stims in satisfaction, much to Ollie's disdain. "Alright, kiddos, guess this is everything on our part. Any news on Marie's group?"

"Last time I saw her, she and Poppy were debating on which pears were looking the best...", Dogday's voice tone is enough to tell you everything you needed to know: The perfectionists are doing their thing. "... They all looked the same to me..."

Still, you chuckle a bit. "Looks like they want everything to go well for our first Christmas together, eh?"

And indeed, they were.

-

Grabbing the girls away from their perfection crisis was sure a moment, but in the end, you are all able to leave the grocery store after challenging the final boss (read: The waiting line). The van becomes full of bags, and for a moment you're a bit scared y'all wouldn't fit, but years of playing Tetris have sure done a good job to you.

Together with the kids, you head back home. Miguel and Amy, wonderful babysitters as ever, are out in the backyard with the mini toys as Catnap looks over them. Your brother smiles when he sees you, and you feel very, very happy that he and Amy didn't have to deal with the kids trying to burn the house down again.

Bobby watches from her chair as you, Marie, Delight and Kissy put the groceries away. "Is that... All for Christmas?", she asks, confused.

"Heck yeah", you nod. "Christmas is for eating a ton of stuff, Bobs. Gotta go all out now that we have 87 of you!"

"But...", she bites her bead necklace. "... All of that for one day?"

"To be fair, we normally can't eat it all in one day. We cook a ton and it can last for a few days! And then after that, it's New Year's eve, and off we go to eat a ton of stuff again".

"Woah...", her eyes are shining. "A-and the cookies?"

"You're going to be the one helping me bake them".

"Yaay!"

-

You stare at the pile of gifts you got the kids. It's... A lot, and you're not even counting the stuff people donated to them. You're lucky Miguel and your parents accepted giving up their garages to fit it all in. A surprise is still a surprise, even if the kids don't believe in Santa.

Your mom is excitedly chatting with Dogday, teaching him how to crochet a scarf. Crafty listens closely, excited. When the three of you eventually have to leave that house, the kids completely oblivious to the gift plan. "Y... Y-your mom is really nice, Angel", the unicorn mutters, staring at the ground. "Really nice..."

"Don't be weirded out, Crafty. She loves all of you, like a grandma would".

"But she's not our grandma..."

"Well, f'course not, she's my mom and YOUR grandma".

"That's not what I meant...", but she's smiling, so the joke worked. "Uh...?"

"Excuse me!"

The three of you stop when a man pops up. He's probably in his mid 30s, if not maybe late 30s. You cross your arms, noticing a notebook he's carrying around. "Yes?"

"Are you the Angel from the PlayCo. Case?"

You eye the kids, annoyed, and they eye you back, also annoyed. "Yes".

"Oh, that's wonderful to hear! You see, I'm a-"

"Reporter?"

"Oh?", he seems surprised. "Yes, yes! I have been meaning to talk to you, miss, about what you plan to do with them for this holiday season. You see..."

"Nah", you walk past him. "Not interested in exposing them more during their first normal Christmas of their lives. Goodbye".

-

Christmas eve is chaotic.

Huggy wakes you up at 5 in the morning, too agitated to go back to bed. You end up being used as a plushie by him as the others sleep, the house being too crammed with living toys for you to have the luxury of proceeding with your day. When most of them awaken, you tell them about the plan.

You have to use the van a few times, but by the end of things, you're able to bring all the kids to your parents' house. After some time, they all organize in small teams in order to "help" with the very important jobs they were given. Huggy, Kissy, PJ, Boxy and Bunzo, being the youngest of them, are tasked with taking care of the snow (read: playing outside), while most of the minis don't need to be coerced into having fun.

Poppy and you get stuck in the kitchen. Your father is helping Marie with making some of the many dishes, and Bobby, Crafty and many minis are having the time of their lives with baking cookies. Catnap sits outside, "guarding" you all. Dogday goes to check on him from time to time as he tries helping you with making some good Christmas soup.

Piggy ends up helping Marie the moment she comes back from sulking outside. She's shy, but Marie's grumpiness with only having one harm is enough for her to try to help. Not that she can do much without her hands, but Delight makes a "hook" with some textiles laying around so Piggy can at least hold a spoon by herself. The three girls and your dad talk nonstop, and you and Poppy try your best to not laugh at them.

Bubba seems grumpy for not being able to do much. Despite how well the toys heal from their wounds, Bubba is a special case. A very special one. So he watches, and ask questions, while Dogday runs from place to place trying to organize the house and the extra decorations the kids insisted on buying.

Hoppy and Kickin are having their third argument of the day as they try to make pastéis. Never have you ever ate a pastel for Christmas, but the kids loved them and you didn't want to force them to follow any traditions. Ollie is merely going from place to place, helping everyone a little bit and pretending he isn't excited about it all. Eventually, your aunts and uncles pop up, and the chaos bubble pops.

They overflow you with questions, of course, but they also dote on the kids a lot, so you accept answering some things. Nando pops up right behind you, and you jump before rolling your eyes. "Fuck off, you idiot, I'm cooking", you growl.

"Parent of 87 kids and still using the same foul language", your cousin rolls his eyes at you. "Nice to see you too, dipshit".

Poppy, who's busy cutting things for you, seems curious. "Hello, sir!", she nods at him. "I'm Poppy. It's a pleasure to meet you!"

"Thought you were bigger", he jokes, and you hit him with your elbow. "Hi, Poppy. Name's Nando. I'm your dad's cousin, nice to meet you. Good to know at least someone has manners..."

"Cut it off, Nando", Miguel FINALLY pops up, snow on his hair. "Leave them alone".

"Them who?"

"My kids", you reply, smiling. "You're bothering them".

"I'm not doing anything to them!"

Another elbow hit. Poppy chuckles, understanding the situation.

-

More and more questions arise for the kids. You avoid some, the kids avoid others, and some of them have answers. The 87 toys become the theme for the Christmas eve, and when night arrives, you help everyone dress up for the occasion, sweaters and silly hats for all of them, no exceptions.

Miguel's oldest kid helps you so, so much through all of this. She's pampering her new friends, of course, while her baby sister is catching everyone's attention, including Catnap, who cannot stop staring at her. She tries grabbing his ears, and, strangely, he allows it.

Your mom takes pictures of everyone. Literally everyone, no exceptions, including one of the whole family, which had to be taken outside. When you all finally sit down to eat, many of the toys try to show off how they can finally sort of use forks and knives now. Kickin and Hoppy annoy each other to the point you have to tell them to cut it off, and Amy giggles, saying they remind her of Miguel and you.

"Really?", Kickin asks, smiling. "Didn't know that guy over there was like that".

"I'm not", you reply.

"You are", your parents, Miguel AND Amy cut you off. You shake your head. Humiliated by your own family, it seems.

Gift giving is equally chaotic. First, the human part of the fam opens their gifts. Then you open the garage's doors, and the kids all seem so, so surprised. It's... Cute, almost, to see the way they all react, and how much they help each other grab and open their gift wrappings. Dogday, especially.

Of course, not all the presents are opened here. Instead, during the following day, you put everything back at your own house before going back to your parents' to grab the kiddos.

They're happy. Surprised, yes, but extremely happy, and this is what matters most to you.

... Despite all the plushies they obtained, however, they still insist on using you as one when they have to go to sleep again.

[plebbypebblepleb]

Merry Christmas to my lovely moots!!

and almost happy birthday to me~ fufu, it's the 27th if you havent heard me yapping already! :3

So, to begin this, I want you all to know how much you really mean to me. Everyone here has been a huge part of the reason why i'm still doing art. I've been working on this and hinting at it since the start of the month!

I've been so excited to finish this project, and I hope that this will brighten up your holidays. Keep in mind, EVERYTHING IS PLATONIC!!

also, the order doesn't mean anything. it's just random! (i didnt even finish the drawings in this order, so i have actually 0 idea why it's like this lmao)

AND NO !!! I DONT HAVE FAVORITES. PLEASE DONT BE SAD IF YOUR NOTE IS SHORTER THAN OTHERS!! I JUST INTERACT MORE WITH THEM/HAVE KNOWN THEM LONGER. YOU ALL ARE SOOO IMPORTANT TO ME!! I PROMISE GUYS 😭😭😭

✦ Find your @, and read what I wrote for ya! Then, scroll all the way down for a little surprise ;3 ☆

Without further ado, LETS GET IT STARTED! 🩷🎀

@pr3tty-0n-the-inside,

where do i even begin? through my entire time in the outsiders fandom, you've been there and encouraged me throughout it. you complimented my silly crossovers, and we've overall had the best conversations. you've encouraged me throughout the entire magical girl series, and you're a big reason on why that was finished. thank you SO MUCH for being in my life. thank you for randomly messaging me when we became moots. thank you thank you, thank you. I hope you have wonderful holidays, you deserve it.

Your humor is so amazing, and I always find myself laughing whenever I talk to you. I love your roleplay account and just how you interact with people, and I love your personality.

“my fuckass computer unplugged, kill me” poetry. Words of an angel.

also, be a little nicer to yourself :3

@qqtofu,

i know we haven't talked that much, but i really do admire your art so much! you've been a huge inspiration to me, and just looking at your art gives me inspiration to draw! rin is my favorite vocaloid, and gosh, you really do her justice! i mean, how could you not? you're so super talented! and you're super sweet as well, I hope you have a great christmas/any holiday you celebrate, and i'd love to get to know ya better! <3

@charlie-bonkerz,

we've recently become moots, I know, but you still deserve to be celebrated! you have been so super supportive and I always have a smile on my face while reading your messages!

sometimes, I'll admit, I scroll back to that one compliment you gave when I'm feeling insecure about my art. (ponyboy drawing) I keep rereading it and it's been motivating me to continue doing art. Seriously, I can't stress how much those big compliments mean. I don't receive a lot of support for my art irl and your words really do have a huge impact on me.

thank you so much for being in my life, I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything. Also you're stunning.

@deim0sdread,

DALLAS!!!! thanks so so much for being in my life, you've genuinely encouraged me so much, and I couldn't be happier that I'm your friend! your oc was so fun to draw! thank you for your requests on the magical girl series, getting requests always makes my day so much better, and I get so happy whenever people show that they like my art! especially you, when I first saw how much you liked my art, I almost cried. You're the sweetest, merry Christmas / happy holidays (I'm not sure what you celebrate, but have fun with whatever it is :3) 🩷🎀

@sugarberry-beetle,

kk!! :o your oc was so cute and fun to draw! I'm so glad you randomly popped into my messages! our conversations always make me smile, and the way you type is sooo cutteeee 🩷🎀 thank you for calling my art cool, yours is 18.52% cooler than mine!!! >:333 merry Christmas/happy holidays kk!!!! :D keep creating art, id love to see it! and never give up writing! It's so adorable! DALBIT!!!!

@eepyguy1987,

youve been nothing but kind to me in messages and in my inbox! thank you so much, you make me so happy whenever i see an ask/message for you, and you're definitely a highlight of my days! thanks for being in my life!

@magefelixir,

hey there Felix! I know we don't interact much, but when we do, it's always a blast! your compliments and you expressing how much my art means to you is such a huge push for me to keep creating. If I'm going to be honest, that mesmerizer drawing was created in my head because of you! I'm so thankful for you, mwah 🩷

@cheryyy-valancce,

Cherry, you're genuinely such an amazing person and a kind soul. Your encouraging words and just compliments overall have seriously brightened up my days so much. Our endless reblogs talking about random stuff, and our conversations about vocaloid have been soooo sweet. I love interacting with you in character and out of character, because you're just so amazing to talk with!

Being your friend has been so memorable this year, and I couldn't be more grateful. I love you, cherry! I hope you have wonderful holidays!

@greasergirllll,

we haven't interacted much as of lately, but I do remember when we did, and gosh. That was so fun. You encouraged me so much to really finish off the greasers as magical girls series! Thanks so much, really. Im so grateful for our conversations, and I hope we can talk a bit more soon! 🩷🎀🌟 Happy holidays :3

@nexternalknowsthingz,

HEY THERE NEX!!! youve been such a huge inspo to me.. I don't know if you remember but I commented on a post of yours waaaayyyayay before I even started on any outsiders works.. and you responded and called my art cutee...ababahshaba

ok maybe maybe maybe I was squealing and blushing a bit and maybe I was rereading that comment

BUT!!!! gosh, youve seriously encouraged me so much. Your art is always so fun to see, and I love being moots. Thanks so so much for being my friend, and I hope you have amazing holidays! Hope to get to know you more :3

@boxxy-roxxy,

Rui, your art is sooo pretty. I love the down turned eyes and your colors, seriously, you're insanely talented! I'm so honored to be friends with such an amazing artist, and I still cherish that art trade we did. :3 the way you draw Johnny is so cute, and I LOVE seeing new art from you! I've said this before and I'll say it again. Seeing new art from you is like opening a Christmas present! Never stop, because then I'll miss ya!! (Unless you take a break, even then, I'll support you! You're awesome!!🩷🎀)

@six-eyed-samurai,

When I first saw your tokyo rev stuff, I was like, "woah!! that's cool!" and followed you. Pretty soon after were the long ass asks for the texts and such, and I was so happy when you answered them. I'm gonna be honest, I loved reading your authors notes more than I liked reading the actual texts.

Being able to call you my friend has been such a blessing, from the times you put up with my weird requests, all the way to now. Our headcanons have been so fun to make, and yes. In another universe, we're performing APT. with rindou, ran, inupi, and koko. It's been an amazing year, and I loved every second that was spent with you.

yes. you are a masochist. I don't understand WHY YOU ENJOY GRAPE FLAVORED CANDY?! ITS NOT SANE. ITS NOT AND I WILL STAND BY THE FACT THAT YOU BELONG IN AN ASYLUM. ALSO IM NOT WEIRD FOR DRINKING VINEGAR, ITS LITERALLY GOOD. YOURE CRAZY.

im so happy we can bond over Haikyuu, Tokyo rev, and bsd, and I can't wait to see how your novel develops as you keep writing it! You'll never understand how much you mean to me because I lack to vocabulary to express it. I love you so, so much sunny. I can't wait for my next Christmas with you. 🩷🎀🌟

@redfielddoesthings,

Carmim, jeez. I've been putting off your letter for so long since I just didn't know what to write. you're one of my best best friends, and I enjoy your company so much. Talking with you brightens my day in a matter of seconds. I love the way you type, I love your humor, I love your art, I love your ocs, I love your style, I love you. please never ever change.

You've told me many times that you enjoy how enthusiastic I am, even when I ask if I should calm down around you. I never showed it but you have no clue how much that means to me. I've never really had anyone before this that enjoyed how energetic I was, and to finally know what it's like is a dream come true. Your encouraging words and just overall kindness have been motivating me to continue drawing and doing what I love.

Calling you my friend is such an honor, and I'd never trade it for anything. My life was a boring ass textbook before this, but you took some silly little highlighters in a bunch of colors and scribbled all over the pages. you've lit up my life so much and I can't thank you enough. I love you carmim, /p.

also if you ever say "my art isn't all that" ever again I'm leaking our "insiders" chats. 😋😋😋 I WILL STAND FOR NOTHING BUT COMPLIMENTS FOR YOURSELF

ALRIGHT! the final message before I let you guys go on with your Christmas!

Sometimes I forget how much I'm loved, and how lucky I am to have you all in my life. Being friend with you guys makes me so grateful and helps me realize that people DO enjoy seeing my art. I mentioned this in a few messages, but I do not get much support from the people around me regarding my art. Your compliments mean SO much to me, and I couldn't be happier that I've met all of you.

going back to "forgetting how much I'm loved," I'm sure you guys do too. Keep this as a reminder of how much I care about you and how much you mean to me. You deserve everything and more, and I can't stand to know that a world exists where I don't have all of you. I don't wanna think about the fact that you guys may feel that someone doesn't care about you, because I do. I need you to know that I do care and I will always be here for you. I love you guys so much, and I could never be happier.

AND WITH THAT, WE'RE FINISHED!!!🩷🎀

time taken (for everything combined) : ~22hrs 50m

[fxlling13]

Amethyst Haze

Dh!Master x fem!reader

Wc:5.8k

Warnings:rude aunty, awkward family moments, bullying behaviour. Alcohol

Synopsis: the master pays you a surprise visit multiple times <3

A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

"How about a planet entirely made out of amethyst?" Cocky as ever, The Doctor looked at you and Yaz

excitedly. “I say entirely. Obviously there’s some brick, and stone, and cement. So it’s more seventy-perfect amethyst. But you get the picture.” She carried on, correcting herself slightly. It did sound interesting though, and you guys hadn’t tried a new planet in a while. The girl beside you grinned, folding her arms comfortably. 

"Sounds great!" Yaz beamed, glancing at you as you nod in agreement.

"I’ll love it. Purple is my favourite colour." The others looked at you in shock. Surely it was obvious, you had dyed your hair a deep plum colour recently.

"Is it? I wonder if that’s why, oh well. ready?" The doc spoke, pulling down on the lever beside her. Neither of you questioned her half finished statement.

———

As predicted, the planet was extremely beautiful. With soaring towers made from the pretty gem and buildings just the same. Roads of purple brick lined the streets, and even the royal guards donned that colour uniform. How did you know that? Well, apparently, your group were trespassing on an important festivity of the people. They had you locked up the second you were spotted. You hadn’t even been there an hour, only just getting into the city centre. Two guardsmen grabbed you, harshly taking you into the capitol building and down several floors. All three of you were thrown into an absolutely freezing cell, and told you’d be let out once the celebration was over. Once down there, it came as a shock to find you were not the only ones caught out of place. Furthermore, The Doctor looked baffled to find The Master pacing up and down. Now, you and Yaz were watching the timelords arguing. The blonde just couldn't believe that he was there in peace.

"I swear. I have no ill-intent." He sighed, throwing his head back against the wall. The master was across the room from you, leaving a hearty gap. As The Doctor was thinking of a good interrogation strategy, you made eye contact, and you smiled at him genuinely. To your surprise, he returned it. In your many encounters with the renegade timelord, you had honestly never been scared of him. Usually, he just made you laugh, somehow keeping you out of harms way.

"So, if you're not here to steal?" The doctor started, determined to get the truth out.

"Nope." He responded boredly.

"Raise an army?"

"No."

"Take over the Palace?"

"No."

"Kill the royal family?"

"No, Doctor!"

"Then why are you here?"

"To buy a present!" Eyes wide, you all stared at The Master completely shocked. That was unexpected. Smiling to yourself, you pat the empty space next to you. Yaz looked at you in question, but you just shrugged. 

"I dont think he's going to kill us. Relax." As you finished talking, The Master hummed and sat beside you. Opposite, The Doctor was watching him like a hawk. Exchanging a look of amusement, yaz sighed before joining her girlfriend. 

"You're buying someone a gift?" The blonde asked, unconvinced.

"Yep." He nod casually, eyes scanning the area as if searching for something. Your teeth were beginning to chatter quietly.

"Why here? There's whole planet's dedicated to shopping centres and gift giving." Rolling his eyes, The Master just stared at The Doctor blankly. As if her question was dumb.

"Well, the person I'm buying for really likes a certain colour that’s readily available here on Purpuartica." Sweet, he was clearly very considerate. Maybe he kept that part of him to himself. 

"You mean yourself?" Yaz's comment made everyone laugh. Even the man next to you scoffed lightly.

"No. Though I admit, she does have taste." He thought aloud, nodding in approval to no one in particular. As per usually, he was wearing his long tweed, purple coat. With the same colour waistcoat and shirt. More importantly, you noticed.

"Oh, a she?" You teased, hugging your knees tightly. It was getting exceptionally cold in there. Looking at you, he chuckled and gave a short shrug.

"Yes, why?" Grinning, you shivered lightly, trying to block out your environment.

"No reason." The Doctor watched you talking, realisation slowly dawning on her. He was so calm, so collected. Letting herself smile, she folded her arms. Clearly, she wasn’t feeling the cold like you and Yaz were.

"Didn’t take you to settle for anything less than yourself?" Turning to her, The Master sighed bitterly. He should have known she'd figure it out, but there was no need for the insinuated insult.

"She isn’t less than me, and you know that." He shot back, brows raised.

"I know, but think of the age gap!" She mocked his former self, making him roll his eyes. Giving the couple a pointed look, she deflated slightly. Looking out the tiny window, The Doctor frowned as a gust of wind blew in. The walls around the cell frosted over dramatically, and your arms tugged your knees closer to your chest. Giving the air a sonic, The Doctor let out a perturbed noise. 

"This isn't good. I hadn't planned to stay this long. It's only going to get colder." Next to her, yaz shook in her spot, cheeks deepening in colour. Instantly, the doc pulled her coat off and wrapped it around her, fastening it up. Yaz moved closer and allowed her girlfriend to hold her close. You watched them sadly, you had never felt more single. 

"Are they always this sickly?" The Master asked, shuffling towards you. Looking up at him, you nod.

"Yep. I deserve a medal for biggest third wheel." He laughed, resting his head back against the icy wall. Seeing as the doc and yaz were distracted with each other, you decided it wouldn't hurt; making conversation with The Master.

"You know, you reminded me I need to go gift shopping too." You told him, starting to shiver more violently. He looked you over, brows creasing. 

"You do?"

"Well it's nearly Christmas back on earth. Need to finish off my Christmas shopping." It was hard to speak, your lips were going numb. Subtly, The Master inched closer and began to unbutton his jacket.

"You like Christmas?" He asked curiously, getting the last button open. 

"I love it. Though, its pretty lonely." 

"Small family?" You shook your head, fingers loosing all feeling. Even when you rubbed your hands together, it was useless. Suddenly, an arm wrapped around your waist. You were pulled down into The Masters chest and he wrapped his jacket around your form. Instantly, you were greeted with warmth and sank into his hold. Honestly, you didn't care if The Doctor or yaz could see. If she could be warm, you could be as well. 

"No. Just, every year, they continue to ask me why I'm single. Where's my boyfriend. It’s draining and very lonely." You explained, relaxing as the cold thawed out of your veins. Humming, The Master made sure his jacket reached around you properly. 

"Sounds it, love." Blushing, you chose to ignore the pet name. Your eyes grew heavy, the cold taking the energy away from you. The Master saw this, bringing his hand up to run through your hair softly. 

"Sleep. We'll be here a while longer."

———

"Well then. Why her?" The Doctor asked quietly, not wanting to wake anyone up. Shrugging, The Master continued to thread his fingers through your hair.

"I dont know. Why her?" He shot back, motioning to yaz. Grinning, the blonde let out a laugh. Seems they were stuck in the same situation.

"So, what are you going to do?" She was curious, eyeing your sleeping figure. All he did was tug you in more, sighing to himself.

"Well, I have this plan." 

———

Laughter woke you and Yaz a few hours later, your eyes opened slowly. You found The Doctor and The Master cackling not so quietly. Yaz looked at you confused, sitting up.

“Woah, are you two actually getting on?” She asked, cracking her neck slightly.

“Don’t sound too surprised. We grew up together.” Shrugging, The Doctor rubbed her back affectionately.

“That’s really sweet.” You mumbled, staying against The Masters chest. He made no effort to move either of you. It warmed you, more than physically. It felt natural, it felt safe.

“If I’m right, which I usually am, we should be let out soon. Get you both home.” The Doctor told you both as Yazmine handed her coat back. You gazed up at The Master, curious.

“What about you?”

“Well. I have to get this gift.” He smiled down at you, rubbing your side. Noticing your uneasy look, he chuckled and tapped your nose affectionately. “Don’t you worry about me, love.”

———⭐️

About a week later, you were yet again in trouble. You were running like your life depended on it. Because it did. Somehow, The Doctor had landed in a cyberwar space station. Not that you knew exactly who they were fighting, but they were definitely organic, like yourselves. There was a moment in which you’d been spotted, fight or flight kicking in. Now you had been split up and you had been running for what felt like hours. Hearing stomping, you turned your head only to crash into something.

“Woah there.” Relief flooded your veins as you looked up to see The Master. He held your arms and, subsequently, you up. “What are you doing here?” He was baffled to see you, eyes roaming your figure for injuries and such.

“Doctor.” That was all that needed to be said. He sighed, quickly pulling you along the corridor. It seemed he knew the place well, you tilted your head, holding onto his hand easily. “Is this your doing?” You teased, earning a grin from the man.

“It might be.” He started, making you scoff. “But it really was an accident.” The Master took you into what seemed to be a control room, letting you go and messing around with a keypad. A metal door shut behind, a loud click to signal it was locked. Perhaps you should have felt worried, that you were alone with The Master. The man who tried to become The Doctor. The Man that created the “CyberMasters”. Also the same man that kept you out of harms way, who listened to you. No, you felt perfectly content in this situation. You sat yourself on a leather chair that was situated by one of the control panels. “So, the Doctor appears to be stuck two levels from us. And four levels from her blessed Tardis.” He informed you, causing you to sigh in annoyance. That really didn’t surprise you. “Don’t you worry dear. I’ll get her to us, then I’ll get you all away from here.” The Master chuckled, closing his eyes momentarily to ‘contact’ The Doctor. Once he’d done that, he strolled over to you. “So, finished your Christmas shopping?” His casual question caught you off guard, but it was nice to see he remembered.

“Nearly. Just one person left to buy for.” You huffed, thinking about your family back on earth. Noticing your tone, The Master nonchalantly moved you, slipping onto the chair. You found yourself almost in the man’s lap, little space left between you. Instead of complaining, you accepted your fate and leant against him.

“And who is that, you don’t sound particularly happy about it?” He inquired.

“It’s my aunty. We don’t always get on.” You said, wondering if he’d want to know of all your family drama.

“Oh? Why’s that?” It seemed he did. You pursed your lips, not knowing where to begin. There was a lot she had done. Then again, The Master may have just perceived you as dramatic. “That bad?” He commented, seeing as you hadn’t spoken for a moment.

“Yeah, it can be. She’s just really opinionated, and doesn’t like how I dress. Or my job. Or my hair. Or my personality.”

“I don’t think I like your aunt.” He cut in, a small laugh passing your lips. “Have you considered gifting her nothing? It seems that’s exactly what she deserves.”

“I fear that would make Christmas very awkward.” He tut at your response, taking you in fully. Twirling a piece of your hair around his fingers, he spoke again. “I happen to think your hair is very nice.”

“That’s only because it’s purple.” You laughed, not minding the closeness at all. The Master smirked, nodding his head in approval.

“Well of course.” Just then, there was loud banging on the steal door, making you jolt away from the man. Reluctantly, he got up with a grumble, opening the door with the press of a button. “Took you long enough.” He sounded annoyed, though you felt as though it was more about being interrupted. The Doctor came in a hurry with Yaz right behind her. Out of breath, the brunette shook her head.

“She couldn’t follow your instructions. Kept trying to find shortcuts.” Yaz baited her girlfriend out, earning a playful shove.

“Well it felt like he was giving us a longer route!” The Doctor exasperated, arms in the air.

“Why would he do that? To hurt (y/n)?” Yaz worried.

“No!” All three of you said in response to the girls question. She looked around surprised. The Master grunted under his breath, busying himself with finding a way up to the tardis. Smiling, you stood up and looked over his shoulder, watching what he was doing. In the background, you could faintly hear the women still discussing.

“But after everything he’s done?”

“Trust me Yaz, he will not harm her.”

“But how do you-“

“I just know.” You didn’t look back, not minding their conversation at all.

“When is Christmas Day, for you?” The Master, also ignoring the girls, asked you lowly. You thought for a second.

“Just a few days. The Doctor is going to drop me off after we get out of here. Then I’ll have the entire week with my family.” You said with a less than enthusiastic timbre, making the man chortle. It really wasn’t what you were looking forward to, except for seeing your parents of course.

“Would it help if I came alone, I know I could easily fix your problem.” It was a false threat, you knew that. You felt yourself smiling at his suggestion, shaking your head.

“As nice as your company would be, I don’t think hurting my aunt would fix things.” He looked at you, taking in everything you said with a short head bob. “Well then, maybe I’ll just pop in to say hi.” He grinned before turning round. “Right everyone, follow me!” The woman jumped, scurrying to follow you both down a ladder and to the Tardis. The Master helped you down from the ladder, holding your waist and bringing you back to the ground. There was a small blush on your cheeks, unable to meet the man’s eyes. His hand slipped into yours, as he walked along the metallic corridor.

“My tardis!” The Doctor cheered, running to the blue box in a flurry. The Master rolled his eyes, noting that Yaz had gone inside without a second thought. Gazing down at you, he let go of your hand grudgingly.

“Don’t worry, you’ll have a good Christmas. Trust me.” He winked, stirring both confusion and bashfulness inside of you. Giving him a smile, you waved and stepped into The Tardis.

———

The past three days had been tough, to say the least. The first day had been okay. You went to the markets with your parents, getting hot chocolates and wandering the stalls. The second day, the rest of your family arrived, which included your aunt.

“Oh god, what have you done?” Was the very first thing she had said upon seeing you, clearly meaning your hair. Thankfully your mother was there to distract her, but every chance she got, your aunt would make comments. Then, the third day, Christmas Eve, it had been even worse. Your aunt had gotten very drunk at the meal your father had planned. The whole restaurant could hear her yapping on. It was loud and obnoxious spiel, about the worst topics imaginable. Now it was Christmas morning, you were sat in your childhood bedroom, applying your make-up. Part of you felt insecure, even if you originally liked your outfit. An off the shoulder black top, paired with a short, mauve miniskirt and black boots. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you sighed before finishing off with lip stick. In your youth, you’d traditionally open gifts first thing. However your aunt had decided it now had to be done after dinner, for some stupid reason. Either way, you picked up the last of your gifts for the family and brought them downstairs.

“Merry Christmas!” Your mother chimed upon seeing you, handing your uncle a plate of hot food. You smiled, greeting her too. After laying the gifts by the tree, you took a seat on the free arm chair and looked around. Your dad was chatting away with his brother, both eating a hearty fry up. Your mother still in the kitchen, grandparents all sitting at the coffee table.

“Will there be anybody joining you this year, (y/n)?” Your aunt questioned. She had already asked about your relationship status the first day you saw her.

“No.” You gave a short answer.

“Why am I not surprised.” She tut. “Maybe if you weren’t so difficult, then you’d find a suitable husband.” She lectured you, as your mother came in and handed you some breakfast.

“Yeah, I know.”

———

A few hours went by, dinner was still not ready yet and you were already growing tired. You weren’t sure how long you’d last under that woman’s gaze. Her eyes were like fire, burning you with their criticism. She had been ranting about the problems in society for a solid thirty minutes, and you were getting a headache.

“Take (y/n) for example.” She said suddenly, gaining your attention again. “The hair, the clothes and the tattoos, not to mention the jewellery. Her generation has no sense of class. None.” Your aunt peached, but no one really said anything. “Rude too. You never see any of them do anything for us!” A loud knock interrupted her, thankfully. You shot up, reassuring people that you’d see who it was. Even when you entered the hallway, you could hear her gibberish, though it was fading slightly. You really wanted to bang your head against the wall, but the knocking persisted. Pulling open the door, your eyes went wide at what you saw. Stood there, at your door, on Christmas Day, was The Master. His hair was curly, wearing a black shirt, covered by a maroon knitted vest, with a gift bag in hand. Before he could even say a word, you threw your arms around his neck, startling the timelord. He chuckled, bringing you in closer.

“What are you doing here? How did you even find my house?” You asked, pulling back from him with a smile. The Master looked down at you smugly.

“I told you that I’d pop by and say hi, I thought you’d appreciate it.” He really came, you thought as your eyes shone with gratitude. Giggling, you jumped up hugging him once again.

“I’m so happy you’re here.” You mumbled against his shoulder, relaxing when his arms encased you.

“Well, I could sense that you were distressed.” His hand ran along your back bringing you instant comfort. “How is everything going?”

“I don’t know how much more I can take.” You admitted to him, face pressed to his shoulder. The Master tightened his hold on you, letting out a short sigh.

“I’m here now, okay?” He reassured, clearly not liking how down you sounded. For a moment, you could forget about the mess of your extended family. Forget that right behind you, your aunt was probably still waffling on.

“(Y/n)? Who’s this?” Your mother’s voice suddenly brought you back to reality. Reluctantly, you pulled away from The Master and turned to face her. Ever confident, the male gave her a witty smile.

“Ah, I apologise. I’m (y/n)s work colleague, O. I thought I’d just drop off her gift whilst I was around.” He lied smoothly, impressing you. Your mother walked towards you both, smiling warmly at him.

“No problem at all, why don’t you stay for dinner? If you don’t have any other plans of course.” She was quick to ask, mostly for your sake it seemed. Even your mum knew how difficult her sister-in-law was.

“If it’s no trouble?” The Master was a very good actor, feigning his politeness. Shaking her head, your mother responded,

“None at all, come on in. It’s freezing out there.” Ushering him in, you closed the door behind and locked it. The Master looked at you simpering, allowing you to guide him into the living area. Everyone looked up, hearing people re-enter.

“Everyone, this is (y/n)’s work friend, he’s going to be joining us today.” Your mother spoke happily, most of your family nodding along with the news pleasantly. “Dinner will be ready soon, someone get O a drink.” She finished off before disappearing into the kitchen. You looked up at The Master expectantly.

“Oh, what are you drinking?” He questioned, understanding your look.

“Just lemonade, I don’t drink.” You let him know, a little bashful.

“She’s an odd one, isn’t she?” Confused, The Master spun around to find a short, older woman looking up at him. “Everyone needs a tipple at Christmas, don’t you agree?” Your aunt held up her sherry glass as if to prove her point. It didn’t take a genius to realise who the woman was, and The Master gave a chivalrous reaction.

“Oh I’m not a big fan of drinking, bad for the liver you know.” He eyed her, muttering under his breath “and the teeth.” You pressed your lips together having heard him. The Master peered at you, lips twitching slightly. “Just water will be fine, love.” Trying to ignore your slight blush, you got him a glass of cold water and took it into the dining room. Your mother was just finishing setting up cutlery.

“I’ve sat you and your colleague here if that’s alright?” She showed you the two seats, allowing you to put the drink in the right place.

“That’s great, would you like me to get everyone?”

“If you could dear.” Her eyes crinkled at you with appreciation, as she busied herself with putting everyone’s plates down. You returned to the living room, finding your secret alien ‘colleague’ wrapped in conversation with your father. It was a funny sight to see, but somehow, The Master didn’t looked too annoyed. Gathering everyone’s attention, you announced that dinner was ready and everyone soon filed into the dining room. When you went back, you found your mother had spread the food down the centre of the table. In the middle of it all, was the roasted turkey, accompanied by everything you could ever want. Bowls of stuffing and steaming veggies, large jugs of gravy, a tray of pigs in blankets and roast potato’s and carrots. There was also an array of sauces and condiments. You took The Master down the opposite end of the room to where your assigned seats were. He pulled out your chair, helping you sit before sitting himself. Whilst everyone was getting settled, you took the opportunity to talk to him.

“So, anything to say so far?”

“Your house is decorated quite nicely, I must admit.” The Master said, picking up his glass.

“I saw you talking to my dad?” You asked, curious as to what they could have been speaking about.

“Oh I overheard him talking to that man,” he nodded in a certain direction.

“My uncle?”

“Yes him, about the Bermuda Triangle. I had to join the conversation, it’s fascinating to hear what humans think goes on there.” He told you, a small smile appearing on your lips.

“Hm, he is a bit of a conspiracy theorist.” Hearing this seemed to intrigue the man beside you. Finally, your mother took her seat on the other side of you, giving the signal that people could start to plate up their dinner. Your father got to work carving the turkey, serving your grandparents first. You reached over, using the tongs to give yourself a few bits.

“What are those?” Confused, The Master pointed.

“They’re called pigs in blankets. It’s a mini sausage wrapped in streaky bacon. Do you want some?” He bobbed his head in confirmation, watching as you put some on his plate, along with a variety of vegetables too.

“Such a fascinating name.” The master mumbled. Your father had finished his but, placing the carving tools down for someone else to use. To your surprise, The Master was quick to pick them up, carving off some meat and putting it on your plate before his own. Noticing the gravy was in the jugs, you looked around for a moment before excusing yourself. You grabbed a small dip bowl from the kitchen before coming back and putting it to the side of your plate. Seeing how big the jugs were, you frowned a little, carefully pulling one closer to you.

“Do you want me to help?” The Master asked with a grin.

“Please?” You looked at him sheepishly. He immediately did just that, pouring some of the gravy into your little bowl.

“She’s an odd one isn’t she?” Your aunt cackled across the table, causing you both to look at her. Placing the jug down, The Master cocked his head a little.

“Why is that?”

“Well using a bowl like a child, just pour it all over like the rest of us.” She shook her head. The Master spied her plate, seeing it piled high and looking like brown sludge with all the gravy on there.

“I just wanted to dip my food instead.” You tried to explain, but it didn’t matter.

“You don’t have to explain yourself, (y/n). And she doesn’t have to do exactly what you do, either.” The Master said sternly, not looking back at the woman opposite him again. He glanced at you warmly, putting a hand on your knee. He could probably feel how cold you were to the touch. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, starting to eat your dinner.

“How is everything, O?” Your mother looked over hopefully. The Master offered her a kind look.

“Wonderful, thank you mrs (y/l/n).”

———

Dinner soon finished up, and you helped your mother and nan to clean up. They did shop you off after a few moments however, to which you went back to the living room.

“Ready for gifts?” Your uncle leered, getting all the presents ready.

“I just need to go get one last thing.” You realised, rushing back up to your room, grabbing a bag then heading back down.

“So, O is it?” You heard your aunt speak, stopping just outside the door.

“Yes?” The Master was sat on an arm chair off to the side, right by the fire too.

“You work with (y/n)?” She enquired as your mother was brining in the last of her surprises.

“I do, yes.” He lied, curious as to where this was going.

“Is she as incompetent in work as she is here?” Your aunt looked at him pointedly. It baffled him how she said that with no second thoughts.

“Actually I happen to think she’s exceptionally smart.” The master spoke casually, noticing the look of shock on the older lady’s face. You smiled to yourself outside the door, ready to walk back in.

“So, what are you, her boyfriend?” It seemed that question made everyone grow silent, waiting for his response. Your heart was in your stomach.

“And if I was?” He shot back, clearly unfazed. “I’d be lucky to have a girlfriend like her.” You swallowed hard, cheeks suddenly feeling very warm. The rest of your family began talking again, getting on with whatever it was they were doing. Taking a deep breath, you walked back into the living room trying to seem like you totally hadn’t been listening in. Then you noticed, no seats left. So, you went to sit on the floor by The Masters chair. You really didn’t mind much, plus you’d be warm by the crackling fire. A hand landed on your waist as you went to sit, making you look to your side. The Master guided you onto the chair with him, your legs falling over his lap. No one paid any notice, presents getting passed around the room in a flurry.

“And this one is for you, (y/n)” your father grinned handing you a wrapped box. Taking it, you quickly pulled off the colourful paper, happy to find something you’d been asking for the majority of the year. It was related to a band you enjoyed. Begrudgingly, your aunt thrust a gift into your arms. You forced a smile, opening up the tacky bag and peeking inside.

“Oh wow..” inside, was selection of make up. All different shades of bright eye shadows and lip colours. Ones you wouldn’t dare go anywhere near.

“I thought it could help to make you more appealing.” Your aunt said confidently, whereas you were at a loss for words. The Master tut, taking it off you and putting the bag to the side.

“By making her look like a clown?” He asked, brows furrowed. “Her style suits her perfectly. It’s just not your style.” He continued, shooting daggers at the woman. She huffed in annoyance but chose not to say another word. Your heart warmed at his protectiveness, making you quickly reach down and pick up a small bag.

“For you.” You said, his eyes glazing with bewilderment. The Master took the gift, opening it up carefully. From the bag, he pulled out a snow globe, taking it in for a moment. You really weren’t sure how he’d take the present, perhaps he’d think it was stupid. “I made it myself.” You clarified, trying not to show your anxiety. “I went to this pottery night last week, and I made your tardis in the middle see?” He looked at you with an indescribable look. “It’s where we first met, plus the shack is really cosy. And I made the exterior purple just for you.” Now you were just rambling, filling in the void of silence. The Masters eyes raked over you, considering your form with a tactical eye. Deflating, you looked down at your lap. “You hate it.”

“I love it.” The Master suddenly clarified, tilting your chin up to meet his gaze. His lips curled into a genuine smile, thumb rolling over your cheek soothingly. Leaning in, he left a soft kiss on your head. “I don’t remember the last time someone got me a gift, let alone made me something that held actual meaning.” Relaxing, you beamed up at him, happy that you could in fact, get a positive reaction from him. “Thank you, love.” Again, you blushed, following his movements as he picked up the gift bag he had brought with him. Once he’d pulled out a neatly wrapped gift, he extended the bag to your mother who was stood nearby.

“Oh this is very kind.” She exclaimed, taking out a very extravagant bottle of champagne. Both of your parents were very happy with the gift, all your family ogling the expensive drink.

“This is for you.” The Master said, giving you the wrapped gift. It was only a small box, but intriguing nonetheless. Tearing away the black paper, you found a maroon, velvet box, with a bronze clasp. Slowly, you opened the box and gasped at the sight. Inside, there was a ring, the band made from white gold and lined with tiny purple gems. In the middle, there was an oval amethyst, held in a crescent moon shaped piece of gold. The Master took the ring in one hand, gently holding your hand with the other. He slid the ring onto your index finger, your eyes widening as it automatically adjusted to your size. “Very pretty.” He muttered, making you nod.

“It is.” You agreed, admiring the ring. The Master chuckled, not letting go of your hand.

“I wasn’t referring to the ring, dear.” Your eyes met, a small smirk on his lips. “Do you like it?”

“It’s amazing, I love it. Thank you.” Trying to ignore his casual flirting, your attention fell back to the ring. He chuckled, tugging you closer to his side.

“I told you all I was on that planet for good reasons.” Suddenly remembering that day, your head shot up in a second.

“Me? You were buying the gift for me?”

“You’re wearing it, aren’t you love?” You nod at his question dumbly.

“But why?” You asked perplexed, trying not to get your hopes up too much. The Master hummed, brushing his fingers through your hair.

“Why do you think?” He simply said, not really giving an answer. “I meant what I said, I’d be lucky to have someone like you.” His touches were purposeful. “But I could never-“

“Why not?” You cut him off with a frown. He let out a breath.

“You know who I am, what I’ve done. I’m not worthy of someone like you.” The Master spoke sorrowfully, playing with the ring on your finger. Shaking your head, you replied quickly.

“That isn’t for you to decide.” He raised his brows.

“You treat me so well. You’re protective and dedicated, you found my house and came knowing I needed you.” Taking in your words, The Master shrugged slightly.

“But-“

“But nothing.” You said matter of factly. There was no way he would be winning that argument. “What if I want to be yours?” You mumbled incredulously, casting your eyes down to your lap. Feeling a hand on my cheek, The Master tilted my head back up to meet his gaze. He was smiling.

“You already have me, doll. I thought you knew that?” He grinned, my eyes lighting up in a second. “And if your family want here. I’d prove that to you.” The Master spoke in a hushed voice, your cheeks shining colour instantly. He chuckled, pulling you impossibly closer.

“If you two are done flirting, there’s more gifts to be shared over here!” Your uncle interrupted, making everyone in the room laugh. Even though you were blushing, you rolled your eyes and began paying attention to your surroundings. Everyone was in a joyous mood, even your aunt. Perhaps it was the sherry, but either way you were grateful. Leaning back into The Masters chest, you sighed contently as his arms wrapped around your waist. Surely, it would be a slight shock to The Doctor, but you couldn’t find it in you to care. His lips pressed to your head tenderly.

“Merry Christmas, love.”

[justagaymoth]

It's out

I'm not finished but here it is so far

I don’t want a man or anybody I just need a warm body to hold. I don't want love of any kind. I don’t even love my friends its not like a hate them. I just don't love very often. That doesn't mean the people I love are any special. The main person I love is not “the one” whatever that means. If they were, it would be incsest. The only person I truly love constantly is my sister. This is not to say i dont care about humanity or the people in my life i just dont love them. I dont feel anything in my heart for them. Not my parents, not my friends, not the guys that ask me out because i'm pretty. I hate it when anyone says they love me because i can't love them back no matter how badly i want to. The guilt and disgust I feel when I hear the word love aimed at me like a missile that could kill a hundred men or more.

My life is pretty okay right now. Im in my first month of my semester of college and three boys have asked me out and two have asked me to parties. I like to think they asked me out because of my smart and witty comments in class but in reality its because of my face and boobs. I hate collage boys. Well most of them one is pretty alright he is in my biology 101 a first noticed him when I accidentally saw his test score on a pop quiz. I just happened to be looking that way. I was staring day dreaming about my sci fi fantasy world i've been thinking about since I was 5. The main thing that pushed me to try so hard to learn to read was that world. I needed to write it down and publish it one day. Maybe some other bullied kids would find as much comfort in that world as me. Anyways he was one of three people who didn't get a D or below on that test and this girl I didn't know were the only ones who got a decent grade.The third person who got a decent grade was me.I know this because everyone else growed or looked very sad or angry. The girl was so excited she passes she let out a tiny shriek. He got an A+ I got an A.

“Congratulations on your grade, that was a difficult quiz,” was the first thing I ever said to him.

“Thanks, hopefully you didn't do too bad.” I chuckled. I still don't know why I did that.

“I got an A. I figured I would get a B or C,” I said i was surprised i told him that last part.

“Why would you suspect a C you always make amazing comments in class. Sometimes it seems you know more than our professor.”

“You notice what i say in class? I thought no one payed attention to the professor much less me." Wait, I didn't mean to say that out loud.

“Sometimes your comments in class teach me more than Professor Browns,” he chuckled after he said that. His chuckles are like music. I don't love him. Don't get this twisted, this is not a love story. And this is definitely not one of those love stories that says that it's not a love story in the beginning of the movie but by the end they are in love.there was a short pause then he spoke again.

“I forgot to tell you my name, I'm Bayley but my friends call me Bark. I have a feeling we will be friends,” after he said that he grabbed my purple pen and started writing something a the straw rapper from his pesi. “Here is my number. I need more smart friends,” he said smiling and handed me his straw rapper.

“My name is Sophia but I hate my name so call me whatever you like.”

“Well I better get to my next class bye So-” he stopped himself from saying Sophia and just waved and smiled.

I kinda hope I see Bayely again. Something about him

seem different from the other guys who gave me their numbers. I think I might actually message him. I hear a ringing sound from my phone it's a phone call from my sister.

“Hey Sophia, how are you? We haven't talked on the phone in so long. I apologize for that I've been busy with school.” I could not help but smile it makes me happy when my sister calls me. She is the only one who I actually don't mind calling me Sophia.

“Hey Emma, I'm doing pretty well. Speaking of school, another guy gave me his number.”

“Wow, isn't that like the 5th guy or something? Do you think you are gonna go out with him? Is he hot?”

“He is the first guy to give me his number and not ask me out I think he wants to be friends or something. He said he needs more smart friends. It's weird a guy wants to be my friend and doesn't see me as just a hot body.”

“So Sophia, do you think you are going to text him?”

“Yeah probably he has a rare combination of brains and being attractive. He actually made me chuckle I don't know how he did that.”

“Does someone have a crush?” She said that in a sing song voice she is clearly in her romance obsessed high school phase.

“No but if he asked to fuck i might say yes.” I probably shouldn't have said that. It's okay Emma is a senior in highschool. She lost her virginity last summer to her now ex girlfriend.

“College must be wild.”

“It's really not especially compared to high school which is probably for the best.”

“I have to go Sophia, I still have some homework.”

“Okay Emma if you need any help with your homework call me back cause I'm kinda a huge nerd.”

“Okay bye I love you sister”

“Love you too Emma” I mean it's true I love my sister and myself are the only ones I really love in this world.

I begin to type out “hi this is Sophia”. Remembering when Bayley was about to call me Sophia but stopped himself I really liked when he did that. I press send hoping he doesn't ask me out. A few minutes later I hear I ding from my phone. It's Bayley. “Hey this is Bayley. How are you?”

“I am okay just bored I finished my homework ages ago. How are you Bayley?”

“This is a weird question but can I call you?” Bayley texted

I didn't text him back, instead he called me himself.

“Hey Bayley, why did you want to call me?”

“I just want to be closer to you.” Oh fuck he wants me doesn't he?

“I'm sorry Bayley, I don't want to go out with you.”

“I don't want that either I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that I just really need someone to talk to it's getting boring. I hate being alone and I am not on good terms with my family. Oh shit I didn't mean to say the family stuff out loud. I literally just met you. I am just really awkward.”

“It's okay Bayley. I need people to talk to as well my friends from high school were shit I only have my sister and she is 2 years younger than me.”

“How old are you So-” he stopped himself from saying Sophia he remembers I don't like that name how sweet. I still don't love him.

“I'm 19. How about you?”

“I'm 20 I turn 21 in October. I don't know what I'm going to do and who I'm going to hang out with. All I know is I don't want to spend my birthday by myself.”

“What day is your birthday, Bayley?”

“It's October 20th”

“Okay,” I said looking up how many days till then on Google. It's 21 days till then. Woah I can't believe it's September 30th already.

“Do you want to hang out this weekend? There is an orchard right by my house where we can go there.” I asked hopefully he says yes. I really need something to do.

“Yeah that sounds fun. I mean how could it not you are witty and pretty.” I laughed loudly when he said that.

“Shit it's already 7:30. I need to eat dinner.” I feel a little sad to end our phone call.

“Alright bye So” he said it just like he was saying someone's name. I think I like So better than Sophia.

I hang out every weekend till his birthday. Those 21 days were some of the best of my life. I still don't want to date him or anything. However every time we hang out he gets hotter. I really want to fuck him but I don't want to ruin my only friendship I have. So I resit the urge to tell him how handsome he looks every time I see him. The more I see him the happier I feel. Hanging out with him is good for my mental health. I like his jokes. He has called me pretty a couple times so maybe calling him handsome wouldn't be so bad. It's not like it means I want to date him or anything.

My alarm rings at 9 am on October 20th. My first class starts at 10:30. The first thing I do after seeing that it's Bayely’s birthday is I texted him a message that reads “Happy birthday Bayley I've really enjoyed getting to know you. It's really nice to have something to do on the weekends besides homework, job and watching New Girl.” I could help but think Maybe I could do you sometime. Of course I didn't send that. I made him a card already and drew him. I'm not very good. It was the first thing I drew in a year. I was depressed so I stopped drawing a year ago and I just never started up again. I might as well start now. Anyways the card has two paragraphs in it describing how I felt on our adventures with him. We have been hanging out every weekend for the past 3 weeks and we have coffee and do our homework for our biology 101 and help each other.

He's leaned his head on my shoulder a few times it usually stays there for hours. It's like my shoulder is the place his head has been searching for all his life. What am I even saying? I really should be in love when I'm with him I feel happy but not in love. When he puts his head on my shoulder my stomach settles. I feel so relaxed I feel like falling asleep. That's not how I felt when I was in love at age 16. I felt energized and my heart would swell up and fly. I don't feel that way with him. I don't know if this is what people feel for their friends because I don't remember the last time I loved any of my friends at the time. I just feel comfortable, happy and horny when I'm with him. I don't know if this is love. I don't want to date him because that would be a change. I like how it is now. The only change I want is for me to fuck him.

My phone rings. It's 20 minutes till my class. I'm driving there now. My phone is hooked up to the speakers I'm playing She And Him. Zoe Dechanel is so amazing. Sometimes I think I'm in love with her but that's not how it works. She is a celebrity. I don't think I've ever been this excited for biology 101. I really like science but that's not why I'm happy. Augh I'm so fucking horny right now. I'm also nervous because I sorta wrote that fact on the card. I don't remember everything I wrote because if I memorized it I would not give it to him. I'm so afraid I'm going to ruin his birthday with this card. I want him to have the best birthday possibly. If he wants to I plan to take him to his favorite coffee shop this weekend and then my house if he wants. I have so many things to show him at my house. I don't want to ruin what I have with him. I don't really want friends besides the casual ones I see once a month for science club. I just feel overwhelmed with too many friends and too many people. I don't know.

Oh shit I'm in the class he is standing next to me. We both arrived 30 or so minutes early to make sure we could review the notes we took yesterday. He is just standing there with A huge smile on his face. Shit he sees the card.

“Uh happy birthday. I made you a stupid card and I'm not very good at writing or drawing. I mean not when it comes to non science stuff. Well…” I say awkwardly.

“I can't believe you remembered!” He says excitedly opening the card. I want to disappear. This is so embarrassing. I just stand there staring at him. After what feels like hours but can't be more than 5 minutes. He hugs me. I'm still in shock. I feel nothing but fear.

“I love it. You are so pretty don't worry I don't want to date you either. I kept trying to give you hints that I wanted to sleep with you, this is the best way to tell me.” he whispers so quietly I can barely hear him. I've never heard him whisper and it's so hot. My weekend plans are so happening! I look to see if anyone is in the hallway when I see no one I kiss his check them whisper. “I have several birthday surprises planned for you this weekend.” He smiled in the hottest way possible. Not the same smile as when he was waiting for the card. I think he knows one of the surprises is sex he is clueless about the others.

I can't pay attention to the lecture today. I'm just thinking about sex and Bayley’s birthday. I can't stop replaying what just happened in my head. It was perfect. Maybe this wasn't so impossible afterall. I hope he doesn't find a girlfriend. I don't want to be his girlfriend but if he found one we could never talk. most people I talk to I don't want their partner to speak to someone they used to fuck or date. I hope this lasts longer than a few months like all the others. Most people don't want what I want or they do at first then they change their mind and I never speak to them or they call me when they get drunk or lonely. It's annoying.

I snap back into reality when the teacher asks me what is a difference between cells and animal cells.Thank god we were learning about something I already know today.

“Plant cells have cell walls which add an extra layer of protection. Plant cells also have Chloroplasts which play a major role in photosynthesis.”

“Thank you Sophia, see someone was paying attention.”

I quickly glance at Bayley. He is starting. I should probably help him review the slides this weekend. He is not paying attention just like me. The only difference is he is not going into science as a major.

update!!

I started writing a story about a loveless aromantic aplatonic allosexual nonbinary person. They met a guy named Bayely his nickname is Bark. they meet in a collage biology class and they don't fall in love or get into any type of relationship. They after a few months of being friends he develops sexual feelings for the main charter. and they become friends with benefits but the benefits are sex and cuddles. he has never cuddled anyone besides family because all of his romantic partners have just wanted him for his body. their story focusses on their abnormal friendship but its not a queer platonic relationship. eventually the main charter wants a kid and has the awkward conversation of asking Bark to help them explaining that he does not have to have a father role in the kids life if he does not want to. he says yes after a month of thinking it over he says he wants a more uncle like role in this kids life. after a year of sometimes helping out with this kid he wants a more fatherly role in this kids life. a few months later he moves in with the main charter to take care of the one year old. Bark and the main character have separate rooms they are pretty much friends with befits roommates who are raising a kid together. I have not written all of the story yet I only started writing it today I have 692 words so far. I got the idea for this story while daydreaming about what I want. I might call the main charter Soe (pronounced like the word so) as a shortened version of the charters birth name Sophia. Might post somewhere if anyone wants to read it when its finished comment or like this post if this sounds interesting to you

[slocumjoe]

do you think you'll ever do fnv or fo3 requests too?

TDLR; No for both, because I like New Vegas enough that I don't feel like it needs dissecting, and because I don't like Fallout 3 at all.

warning for cringe nv circlejerking and fo3 negativity...which shouldn't surprise anyone, given other things I've said on this blog

If one could take a good, long look at all the fandoms I've ever been in, the one consistency is potential. This could have been incredible, this almost was a fascinating story, this had everything to be a masterpiece.

For example, Fallout 4. It has so many different aspects that could have made a good game and story...they just didn't flesh any of them out.

The Commonwealth is under the totalitarian, but shadowed hand of the Institute, a hidden organization that treats the land and its people like playthings, for unknown goals. Their latest venture; the synth. A man made of flesh and bone, made as if he were mere machine...and made in the image of anyone. Someone you love, your settlement leader, you. Whatever the Institute had planned, it is at the cost of what remains of humanity, and you must stop—wait, sorry, hold on...yeah, no, Todd says we're going back to the baby thing.

You are a pre-war Vault Dweller, frozen for centuries, when a mysterious man cracks open your spouse's cryo pod and steals your infant son from their hands. Now, you must journey into a land so familiar, but completely alien, to find him, and figure out what forces took him, and for what purp—wait, wait, nevermind, actually we're gonna...those aforementioned forces made androids and have been replacing people with them, go figure that out, decide what color flag you want on their blown up hideout.

The Minutemen are an interesting concept, too, as we haven't really seen a purely altruistic faction, really. If we have, they've escaped my memory at the moment. Say NCR/Lyons and I'm deleting Tumblr, the website. But the Minutemen are treated as nothing more than barebones context for why you would engage with the settlement building.

Railroad...ugh. That's a whole essay. A reference to a historical organization, made purely in response to the Bladerunner reference, and then put together with tape and soda box cardboard. Ugh.

Brotherhood...reused because Bethesda has little imagination of their own. The Brotherhood doesn't do anything, they just hang around and say stuff about containing technology. They lack substance in a different way than the other three factions.

The Institute has some bones on it. You could get something out of the idea of, even after the bombs, there being a shadow government controlling the Commonwealth and its people. Instead, it exists purely because of a throw-away reference to Bladerunner in Fallout 3, and Bethesda tripped over itself trying to justify it.

So, Fallout New Vegas...

Lots of themes, pulling from real history and philosophy without dickriding it and refusing to look the current in-universe reality in the eye.

Fallout New Vegas wasn't something that left me thinking. Wondering what it could have been. There's a psychological phenomenon that, when you put down a task or puzzle, your brain doesn't let it go. It keeps that tab running, so to speak. Fallout New Vegas, the story and writing was so complete, that when it ended, I didn't have anything else I wanted to know. No questions, no feeling of dissatisfaction. The puzzle was finished, everything was exactly as it should have been.

NV has more potential, yes, but not because it failed or pulled its punches; they didn't get enough time or resources to work on it. Even then, what they were able to do, they made sure it wrapped up nicely and had enough meat to satisfy everyone. Any discussion I take interest in is political or philosophical; I don't feel like any characters were shafted. They all felt realized, crafted rather than slapped together.

But...Fallout 3 was literally nothing.

Fallout 4 has aspects that could work. Fallout 3's plot is just...so uninspired, constantly yawning as it tries to be grandiose and sentimental. It's about this about this one kid of this scientist. This kid's dad leaves the Vault for some reason, the kid fucks around doing busywork so people tell them where he went, they find him, he dies, stuff with Eden and Autumn, the kid dies pushing some buttons. Yay...I'm so invested in this teenager, this old dude who is nothing but 'dad' and 'scientist', and the two brotherhood of steel ladies who take over telling me what busywork to do...

So, yeah. The killing blow is that I didn't like any of the Fallout 3 characters.

First Companion I met was Jericho. I learned he was a rapist and I killed him. The game told me I lost karma for murder...despite giving me karma for killing the Tenpenny guy in the bar five minutes ago. I killed everyone in Paradise Falls and got good karma. No desire to recruit Clover. I only traveled with Dogmeat and Fawkes. Butch's archetype is boring and Charon...fine, I guess. Stoic, maybe? Honor-bound, as he says. Sure, that's something. I had to Google the other companions.

And I think that demonstrates the problem with Fallout 3 companions. People never say they like Clover, or Jericho. It's Butch and Charon. I saw Star Paladin Cross mentioned by another human being once, IRL. Once. Do you really want to know what Jericho would do for Halloween? Do you really care about what RL-3 would think about the Lone Wander finding a baby and keeping it? Does the thought of Star Paladin Cross wearing a tanktop on weekends thrill and excite you? No. Why would it? Do you even remember Cross's gender? What Jericho looks like? What weapon Clover uses?

I don't feel like writing New Vegas because I don't see anything to write. They're good characters, good writing, I was happy with how it all turned out.

I write Fallout 4 because that puzzle never finished for me. I never got to see the likable, interesting characters reach their full potential, and it got me wondering.

I won't write Fallout 3 because there wasn't anything I found redeeming in it. I finished the puzzle and I was happy only because it was over.

[mohntilyet]

still i think the one of the more fun differences drawn between illario and lucanis that was lost would be illario's ability to endear himself to others but serious lack of empathy, vs. lucanis' (self perceived) inability to be charming but how much he cares. it's interesting that the game has gone with the "lucanis' ability vs illario's lack thereof" because i think illario being the dellamorte 'best in show dog' vs. lucanis' attack dog would have made me so unwell.

lucanis is... awkward. he's not unlikable, because he is usually very polite, but he doesn't speak much and only seems to care about the other dellamortes. he once sent viago de riva a knife with no note (who knows what he could have meant by this). he does what caterina asks of him, and by his own admission, cannot say no to her. he is a dramatic and prolific killer, and that makes how untouchable he is even worse.

and the crows like illario, sure, AND he's a good assassin! he's even a good crow! he's so good that he can make lucanis smile, and so he is the charming, sociable one. he's the one that stays in treviso and can be relied upon to care, illario's even the one people prefer over caterina and lucanis!

but illario is decoration. he's the prize poodle, and even if poodles were bred to be working dogs, nobody will ever pick him to protect the house over the german shepherd that regularly mauls intruders. anyways the analogy is getting away from me. the point i'm trying to make is that i want illario to have a different kind of jealousy/hatred that's not just over 'being bad at killing' but also an arrogant loathing for everyone around him that is getting harder to hide, because they've forgotten he can bite and is just itching to rip someone's jugular out. illario is very good at hiding his family resemblance to caterina, while lucanis suffers under his grandmother's, and his own, reputation.

[stil-lindigo]

a non-comprehensive guide to my favourite characters in claymore, the best manga you've never read (more under the cut)

don't know what I'm talking about? here's a crashcourse.

[bisexualdinahlance]

I'm gonna be real, I do think Tristan could be genuine in his feeling like hes "not going to be able to share" just based on how Max acted in this episode. Setting aside any potential Max/Tristan attraction, Max spent this whole episode being uncomfortable around Tristan, butting heads with him, and asserting his authority over him in a way we haven't seen since episode 1, if ever. (He dressed Tristan down in front of the Captain and called him Nurse Silva has he ever done that??)

Then Max gives his whole speech about being traditional, wanting one woman, and children, and about how they need to be able to maintain their dynamics and therefore their hierarchy. I think Tristan quite frankly lost some trust he had gained in Max in this episode. Trust that he would be listened to, trust that they could meet on the same level, trust that Max trusted him in return.

Not to mention Avery actively used to his attraction to her to get what she wanted lol. He floats the idea of them making a good duo after Max's rejection and she won't even consider it. Then she flirts with him just to get him to agree to talk to Max. It was funny but you could see even then he looked a little put out by it. There's nothing wrong with her wanting both and feeling like monogamy isn't for her, but I do think Tristan took that as "I am not and will never be enough for her" and that hit right in his emotional issues.

I think it genuinely is difficult for him to see how they could be in a balanced relationship atp (poly-v OR triad). In his eyes, Max not only doesn't want to try something "non traditional" but the threesome has also brought his power over Tristan to the forefront, causing a breakdown in trust. Avery has, unintentionally, kinda made it seem like she isn't concerned for Tristan's feelings and/or just doesn't care enough about him. It makes sense that Tristan feels like he's not going to be respected or considered in the relationship!

I also think it's significant that Avery keeps talking about fun and not putting a label on it and just... Never talks about the emotional side of it which makes sense for her prior commitment issues but is something that both Max and Tristan explicitly want.

This also isn't to say it couldn't work out between them lol, I'm still rooting for them to at least be a V (tho it's be a triad in my heart). I think that jealousy and insecurity is normal sometimes in polyamory at the beginning. The key is to communicate and they aren't... Really doing that yet lol.

[v-arbellanaris]

i go out of my way to tag my critical posts because i dont want to interrupt people's enjoyment of the game, but ive gotta say im getting really fucking annoyed at fan attitudes about anyone who has criticisms of the game at all

white people in the da fandom will hear "hey, why isnt the fact that racism/classism exists (which THE GAME has made clear for like 15 years now), and is systemic, ever mentioned or acknowledged in any real way in this game" and immediately have the worst bad faith take on the statement ever to immediately scream about how evil it is that People (because ofc they never imagine that any person of colour might be upset at the blatant erasure) Want Depictions of Bad Things like racism in their media

as an example, there is no consideration of slavery as a systemic practice in dock town - even as 'the poorest of the poor' social level, soporati are not slaves. i dont know if youve ever interacted with members of your society, but we do not fucking exist in a vacuum. dock town is not magically Not part of tevinter or tevinter politics - the fucking black divine literally has a whole fucking home base there. it literally wouldn't have taken that many changes either. we could have heard ambient banter about how the pay's shit, etc, but We All Know It Could Be So Much Worse (you could be enslaved). an ambient dialogue/banter about maybe someone working themselves desperately to the bone to try and buy their sibling back from servitude from a magister. like those are ugly situations, yeah, but do you see how that 1) lends some fucking depth to the population that is both consistent with the lore of previous games and 2) emphasising that people in dock town are not magisters, and are as subject to the whims of the ruling class as slaves are (can't believe i want class consciousness in my media, i know) and c) creating social and power distance between the magisters of tevinter and everyone else. but i dont recall getting anything like that in the game, but i do recall the two dockhands trying to awkwardly go on a date together. this is because veilguard is not interested in delving into these topics, which is a decision that was made, that i - a person who paid money for this game - get to criticise. on my own damn blog. under a read more on a correctly tagged post that you can choose not to engage with so as to not spoil your own hype.

YOU can't deal with your guilt so it makes YOU uncomfortable to see depictions of racism, but i dont have that problem. i don't get to opt out of racism in real life, i don't get to opt out of classism and casteism in real life, and so it's important to me to represent these experiences authentically and respectfully. if that kind of storytelling is not your cup of tea, that's fine, you can literally just say that - we all have different things we want out of our media. i might privately judge you but that's a valid take to have. but im getting really fucking annoyed by people acting Holier Than Thou and like Superior Understanders, and constantly undermining valid criticisms of how flat the sociopolitical contexts are in veilguard are either just Coming From The Racists, bad faith interpretations and/or illiterate idiots in the most fucking condescending way possible

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance - Braig / Xigbar

[spacedlexi]

twdg s4 really gave us an adorable wlw romance for the main character about building a home and a family where the two antagonists are an evil woman who she was partially cared for by as a child and her girlfriends fucked up not-exactly-ex girlfriend who wants her dead (who has been manipulated by Evil Woman and they are character foils) AND its written by a gay woman and its fucking CRICKETS!!!!! i dont understand !!!!!!!

[transmaverique]

amab and afab, if they were used as shorthand for the actual full phrases that they signify, with emphasis on the "assigned" part, and an understanding that they are enforcements of normative (ie, dyadic and cisgender and binary) sex, would be like. really useful. but people took the terms and started using them as shorthand FOR normative sex instead of the ENFORCEMENT OF normative sex. so when other trans people (almost always dyadic trans people) ask for your agab they are almost always asking for your Original Genital Situation. your starting point, so to say. and the reason FOR asking is also almost always bc they are trying to also enforce a certain kind of normativity within queer spaces (which is stupid bc being queer is inherently non-normative but here we are). like, you cant be a lesbian if you're ftm, bc you ARE m, so if you ARE a lesbian, then that means you're lying about some aspect of your identity. does that make sense?

it is always always always incredibly.... i do not trust dyadic trans people that use cagab terms, even moreso than i do not trust dyadic trans people that just use agab terms. agab is also coopted intersex language, but the "coercive" part of cagab SPECIFICALLY refers to medical "intervention" of intersex characteristics, such as "corrective" surgeries and hrt. i am deeply fucking suspicious of any dyadic trans person that uses those terms exactly the same as described above, even moreso if they do so bc "all gender is coercive".

like. yeah. that's true. but you use these terms to erase and overtake intersex discussions on the medical abuse of intersex infants. and i cant help but wonder why you would feel the need to do that.

[amygdalae]

thinking back on it midnight mass was visually and conceptually very cool and that priest guy was very fun in his role but all in all I found the show overall incredibly tedious. to be honest