#just crippling social anxiety
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the idea of rping with an ai is actually so baffling to me
you mean you’d rather rp with a bot that you can’t randomly break character with and giggle and scream about characters/situations/literally anything with??? that just feels so boring and lifeless
you’re not communicating with someone who shares your interests, you’re communicating with something that was programmed to talk like the character. theres no connection there so like what’s the point???
i’m bad at explaining things but hopefully you get the point. basically it’s dumb as hell
#graveyardtxt#‘but i have anxiety and can’t talk to people’ and?#i’ve always had crippling social anxiety and you’d still never catch me dead with a character ai#also this is coming from someone who doesn’t have any friends i’ve made from when i used to rp so like#it’s just so weird#and stupid#it’s also contributing to theft from real people#what’s the point#fuck ai everything#anti ai#character ai
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All I want is someone to kiss and cuddle and banter with, without them wanting me romantically or sexually, is that such a hard ask?
#apparently it is#I refuse to accept any responsibility for this despite having crippling social anxiety#the universe should just grant it to me#a qpp should just materialize#asexuality#aromantic#asexual aromantic#queerplatonic positivity#qpr stuff
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#29.03.22#2942#i should specify that this is NOT that i'm incredibly focused & passionate about my work#it is 95% crippling social anxiety#and maybe 4% just being an idiot#the last % is a dense ever burning bead of self-hatred
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What would you do if Yaelokre read your fanfics? 👀
uhh probably die
#ask#i would be so embarrassed 😭#just because i’m afraid that i’m interpreting and portraying perrine completely wrong#i’d be honored still!#but also terrified that i’m doing everything Wrong#i know they interact with fanart a lot#but i don’t think it’ll be the same with fics#because that’s how it usually is!#fanfic is just a more difficult medium to interact with#since you can’t just slap a whole fic on twitter like you can with art#so i think i’ll just fly under the radar#unless someone tells them or they see it themself#i sure as shit am not going to bring attention to it 😭#yes i am 21. i also have crippling social anxiety 😭#but again i’d be honored either way!#yaelokre
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The silly thing about being a person is that sometimes I'll find out I got blocked by someone I dont even know and I have to be normal it and not get anxious that I'm somehow doing something wrong
#i am normal i am normal and do not have crippling social anxiety#um. this feels like it needs a tag#vent#where's my vent tag lemme dust that off#the pit in the backyard#kinda silly that my tags are dog themed but Im a rat#I guess rats can also dig probably#OH YEAJ THIS IS NOT A WOE IS ME PLEASE UNBLOCK ME POST#you dont have to do shit Im just rambling#(... oh wait shit is it because im a multishipper and dnn main?)#(no! stop thinking about it stop thinking about it!!)
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#may or may not have done a super quick test to see if it kills my computer#answer: only slightly?#idk how good the mysims stream would be to actually watch. this is why we would do a test hang through the tutorial#nyxtalks#idk if id really actually do it because for all i talk and chat and ramble on here. i got crippling social anxieties#but also like. idk! hanging with friends! yay wow#im not like. trying to be a streamer or nothin. i just wanna share dumb games w friends#maybe we could look into prof layton too. fun 2000s nostalgia games hours. or something#idk. idk! be the mysims content u wanna see
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#torn between wanting to send love letters bc i love you guys sm and my crippling social anxiety#also just very not 100% today so being social is extra difficult
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I opened up about my body image issues and people called me a horrible person, told me I'm invalidating people with eds and that I'm body shaming people? God what the fuck? Ive got no fucking support system in real life and the Internet just hates me I guess.
#every waking moment of my life for three years was spent making sure other people had a person to vent to#but i can't vent to anyone#well ive got one person who wont even read my fucking text messages so i could say anything but i need someone to know#i need someone to say ill be okay. i need someone to be the person i was.#and nobody does that for me#ive got one person who cant even answer a ask on tumblr. honestly fuck you. i hope youre reading this. i spent so many nights awake making#sure you felt seen and you were okay. i gave up so much of my time to always be there for you. but you cant even respond “haha” to a stupid#joke? i get social interaction is hard. i get it. but this isnt. all you have to fucking do is open an ask. skim it for an idea of the vibe#and type haha or aw im sorry or smthing. its so easy. you know i have crippling anxiety. shit like this brings back trauma. it sends me into#a really bad panic attack. you suck. i hate to say that. cause you dont. you are genuinely a good person but you hate yourself so much that#youre actually trying to be a bad person#nothing you ever do will make me hate you but i sure am mad. me and A spent a few hours talking about how much we were worried about you#he doesn't have tumblr. when he found out you havent been messaging me he thought you killed yourself. for him its complete radio silence#just say something. like one of my posts. you dont have to do much. just do the bare minimum so i know you dont hate me.#cause if you dont hate me right now you really suck. really do. and if you do hate me please communicate that with me so i can fix myself
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I made a comic about my day! Ahah, haha, haaaa..... :V....
#apparently the consensus on social media is “uhh i thought you already had a diag. is this a surprise to you?”#and im just caught in surprised pikachu face#seriously just thought that i had heartwrenching and crippling anxiety for all my life#my art#art#sketch#drawing#cute#goblin#illustration#goblinhellion#artists on tumblr#autism#maybe autistic
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#sometimes I wish drawing wasn't such a lonely activity#am in a bit of a social mood but can't find anything to socialize about#i also wish I didn't need to spend ALL DAY trying to prep my brain to try to draw; despite it being something I wanna do and enjoy#why must i have executive dysfunction over my hobbies#this is why it takes me one million years to something I can actually get done in a few days at most#i'm so incredibly frustrated and it's super depressing and bumming me out#it's just so frustrating and i'm so irritated at myself#i know it's shark week so maybe it's why i'm a bit of a mess; but usually it doesn't affect me during the time so idk#also i love how every night I get to deal with the crippling dread and lowkey anxiety attacks bc everything i'm avoiding/afraid of and it-#- keeps festering in my mind and makes me avoid sleep for as long as possible and i'm stuck in an eternal negative feedback loop#i can't even do the thing i enjoy bc my brain is making it hard for me#not to mention that I constantly get those thoughts about how i'm never getting anywhere in life and i am in fact; ALONE#no irl friends or family and it still scares me to think about how worse things will get in the future for me.#not to mention not having a career or being capable of doing any kind of secondary schooling makes the dread even worse#but again frustrated and i can't even apply positive activities like how I'd usually do; not to mention i'm just always mad at myself about#-everything lmao#stupid brain just let me enjoy me hobby bc i wanna do it and you're not letting me and it's making me feel worse#delete later probably idk lmao
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Nobody has ever Gotten Like That over Entlona or Chiaki (at least as far as I noticed) and on the one hand its like. I don't want random sexual messages from strangers so that's nice but on the other hand did I do something wrong??? Do they not Have It???
#ffxiv#Entlona especially is like. i think entlona is super fucking hot#i've gotten /dotes from other femroes of course but thats just#what u do when u see another femeoe and dont have crippling social anxiety
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Me after seeing a blog I really wanna RP/interact with but I don’t have the guts to reach out yet
wtf yall are so cool. I’m here ig. 💔
#ooc ~ dimmed down starlight#no bc i follow a good amount of rp blogs#and all of them are so cool n stuff!!#i don’t bite i just have crippling social anxiety#honkai star rail#hsr ocs#honkai star rail rp#honkai star rail roleplay#hsr oc rp#hsr roleplay#hsr rp
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I think the best type of Tsundere isn’t someone who’s hostile to everyone (merely suspicious) but towards the main character because they directly see their character flaws and have a sensible reaction to them. *cough cough foreshadowing for a mysterious new lore character in the caspianverse*
#stardew valley#farmer caspian#stardew valley oc#sdve#Tsundere#sdv oc#toxic yaoi king#this is why it’s funny that caspian loves March because in real life tsunderes aren’t real 😭☝️#every pathetic male blorbo needs their ongoing fumble#March may have Kyle’s red hair but he could never have his crippling social anxiety and relationship trauma#he isn’t a Tsundere he just hates you
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would love to change my twitter profile picture bc i don't like it right now. unfortunately i am horrified of being perceived and even having someone be like "omg you changed your pfp!" is likely to send me off the edge
#like is it an “omg you changed it AND I HATE IT” or just a simple “oh that changed!”#i dont know and tbh? i do not know if i can handle finding out#bo reveals her crippling social anxiety part 20392403
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bitches be like 'omg such lee energy' and then show a picture of a couple pixels
#syn speaks#idk if ill write again it just pisses me off#jk maybe idk LMAO#i would ask for my friends socials on here but i have crippling social anxiety
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planning courses for the next semester is not for the weak
#WHY IS EVERY SINGLE CLASS GOING ON AT THE SAME TIME.#WHY DO WE ALL START AT 9AM AND NOT GO PAST 11AM. PLEASE#please just strart at 1pmplease plase palseasee#i dont wanna take only 3 classes next semester but like erm.#mostly because im a little picky abt my professors. less so for electives but classes im worried about (SPEECH)#ive been pushing speech off for the longest time because i have crippling social anxiety 99% of the time. so i made sure i got a good prof#uhgghg#theres this one prof who does a lot of erm i think sociology classes yeah#she is so chill and nice and uses my prefurred name and pronouns (i really need to get my name chaged in the system uhghgh) but she did uh#the reverse grading and i hated it. everyone did. she was so nice and understanding..#one time i went 2 talk to her about my missing work (chronic pain and fatigue had me bed bound for days on end) and she literally just said#erm u have an A so u dont have to do it.#>@>>@>/1/1/?!?!?#live saver. i had a breakdwon in her office i was literally sobbing telling her about my health issues. it was really hard because i never-#-really talk about it. i didnt realize how hard it would be when i finally did#anywasy what was i saying. yeah i love her so much but not her grading and teaching system. but idk maybe ill try it again she has a gender#-and sexuality class i kinda wanna take because im a professional faggot
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