#just cleaning out my ask box
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What has been your most popular post? And have you had a post success shock you?
I imagine my most popular post is one of my old drawings from when I was more into the utmv fandom, didn't really shock me though. Fandom art gets way more attention than any of stuff, I think the most notes I've gotten is around 600-700
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Hello!!
#homestuck#meulin leijon#day 132#im gonna clean out the ask box real quick not including ones that just came in#also i forgot how to spell ask while i was writing that#not my proudest moment
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I pray my wife comes home and married me soon
good news and bad news.
good news, after abandoning this blog for four years, i have come home. bad news, i'm no longer your wife. i'm your husband now. i took so long to come home i transed my gender along the way. hope that's not an issue.
#cleaning out the ask box#most asks asking me to come back i'm leaving be but this one was really fucking funny so i had to.#shitpost#this is my coming out post btw. i'm transmac.#idk how i didn't fucking know earlier but life works in mysterious ways.#also can i really say i've come home if i plan to leave this blog still mostly dead. i'm just. updating it.#idk results unclear.
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the fact that I cannot simply quit my job. there’s plenty of food and space and skilled people in the world. things could function so much better with a tenth the labor if we were efficient about it. but we aren’t. and under capitalism I love my job - I am incredibly lucky to have it and even find it fulfilling in its way. but also I am disabled and my life would be 1000% easier if I just didn’t have to find miracle jobs to make what still comes to below poverty wages given how few hours I can manage. but even though the amount of money I make is play money to other people, it’s the only thing giving me dignity, both the dignity of privacy in spending and the false dignity of being a “productive member of society”. plus, like, I gotta eat and feed my cats, even if I’m currently rent free. but sometimes I think about the ways money and my job (and their relationship with my health) play as such large factors in my decision making and I just think, ideally, those would have less weight. ideally I could just quit my job and somehow still have money. not because I don’t love the work, but because of the limitations having to maintain both a work schedule and my fatigue put on me.
#timemachine wuz here#I do love my job though#like couldn’t ask for a better one. genuinely always anxious they’re gonna fire me even though they’ve given zero indication#and have always been really understanding and also complimentary#I think because I realize how much I enjoy the work compared to almost any job I’ve had#it just ticks so many boxes. and even the driving isn’t that bad (except when there’s snow but we are encouraged to call out#if we think it’s unsafe)#it’s just that at my level of fatigue. I feel like#ideally I wouldn’t need a job at all yk?#like on a straight financial level my job costs more than it’s worth#as in if I had 100k a year I would spend *more than my salary on a pill that eliminates my job’s impact on my health if such a pill existed#meaning like on some level I think my job isn’t objectively worth it#even though I think it is valuable work and I enjoy doing it and am able to maintain a remarkable work/life balance given its flexibility#relative to my level of disability#like pragmatically it’s an invaluable job that I love but idealistically i could just quit to write and play with my cats and clean the bat#idk I feel whiny
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https://www.tumblr.com/necrotic-nephilim/760168597014413312/bftc-jaytim-fuck-nasty-in-their-batman-suits?source=share
give a whole new meaning to "at least drake took it like a man"
SCREAMING this is the funniest thing ever oh my god i choked on my dr pepper-
i love that line in general, i think it's such a fun line that says a lot about how Jason feels about Tim. but in the context of Jason saying it after fucking Tim oh my GOD that's just. it's delightful. i'm going to be giggling about this all day oh my god. thank you anon this is delightful-
#necrotic answerings#kindly praise#you cut so deep (but i always loved you deeper)#i canNOT believe i didn't think of this when i wrote the fic.#how does it feel to be funnier than me on my own blog anon.#it's one of my fave jaytim lines too.#jason would still say that in the fic too.#he 100% would look dick in the eye and say that. knowing damn well what he's implying that dick doesn't know.#also i do just believe that when dick and jason face off after jason fucks tim#it would still go similarly to the canon of bftc#and jason would straight up lie and imply he killed tim anyway. even knowing he didn't.#bc he wants to see the reaction yk. he wants to see how dick reacts to the idea of tim dying comparing to jason's death.#also he would use it to give tim time to get away and clean himself up so dick doesn't find him like that#tho if i continue this fic i will go the route a mutual and i have discussed in dms#where jason does circle back for tim and clean him up#then he leaves tim in his safehouse and fights dick anyway. just for funsies.#and still says that line bc it's funny and jason would get an internal chuckle out of it.#but i will warn that the potential sequel to this fic will take a while#i'm mid-moving across the country#and i have other things to work on first so#hold on tight for that one if and when it comes. pls be patient with my ass#same goes for like. requests in my inbox#i promise i see them. i will write them.#all my shit is in boxes rn tho so like. pls be patient is all i ask kjhhgjhkjl
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my five surviving braincells when something remotely good happens:
#in other news… wORK IS OVER PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#man. i’m s o tired. i can’t believe i survived almost 2 whole years at this job…#huh. come to think of it… i started tling idol sengen before i even got this job lol. and i’m only 3/5 of the way through it…#can’t believe the idol sengen grind->hiatus->grind(?) outlives my time at [withheld] company…#i did end up spending a cool 20 mins cleaning out my work locker though. i found so many treasures i didn’t even know i had in there#like. there was an unopened 3-pack of wet tissues a n d an unopened box of pens that i don’t recall buying#and ofc the 3 random sponges i ‘liberated’ from the lab. don’t tell my boss lmao#w a i t now that i think about it i should’ve taken at least 1 vial of (allegedly) carcinogenic sand for the memories. dammit.#oh well. what’s done is done i suppose. i did receive way more chocolate than i could ever eat though…#y. yeah. i guess i’ll miss my coworkers (a little). they were fun to annoy every day. except for the new guy bc i don’t like him at all lol#i have never met someone who lacked as much common sense as he. i think he’s gonna get canned before he’s able to resign on his own terms#dude could be spoonfed through every single step of the testing process and *still* mess up somewhere smh#but no. this isn’t about him. even though he is the final straw that led to my decision to resign#hm. looking back on it now. i think i was pretty good at my job for the most part when it came to the things i could do#or maybe i was too good at it. like. to the point where even more experienced analysts were coming to me in search of help#prolly gonna miss being one of the very best (out of like a grand total of 10 people at the lab) at doing ftir-related tests#ehehehehehehe i wonder if that workstation will continue to stay as organised as it is now that i’m gone#a n d i wonder what my coworkers will do now that they can’t ask me for ms excel help for the smallest of things lol#sometimes i just wanna tell them to g o g o o g l e i t ! ! ! when they call me over for it. but alas.#can’t believe these guys know how to use c h a t g p t and not ms excel (despite having it on their resume) smh#omg wow this got long and incoherent sorry guys i think i need some sleep lol. idol sengen next week..#…maybe…? no promises though!!!!!
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every time my dad does anything he has to do it in the most annoying and loudest way possible. and honestly i'm not sure if he means to or he's just really goddamn stupid but it's really really grating. and i'm suffering the werewolf curse rn so i'm ready to die
#motherfucker decides he's going to vacuum and mop the kitchen and dining room.#has to make a lot of noise. has to get out the broken vacuum cleaner and fuck with it for ten minutes before deciding 'oh i will get the on#that does work' like an intelligent person#doesn't know where the cleaning supplies are. jess tells him and he gets the wrong one.#plugged in a fan to dry the floor and somehow it flipped the breaker? he asks where my flashlight is so he can see to flip it back#i tell him it's on the bookshelf. the TOP of the bookshelf. what does he do? rub his filthy bleach hands all over my books#then finally goes 'oh it's right here'. YEAH DUH. i said on top of the bookshelf and Pointed at it. please pleasepl easeeee someone killme#also! last night at 11pm (when i wanted to go to goddamn bed bc i had to get up EARLY so i could take my old dog to his 9am app)#he decided he wanted some food. asked me how long to boil macaroni#when it says so on the box. i tell him.#then he opened the box like fucking wolverine i guess! and had to pour the box into a ziploc bag.#like why are you a 50smth TODDLER?!#how have you lived this long?#is it the alcoholism or smth else? i just GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#anyway sorry for this vent post but i hate having to be alive anyway#but when my Organs are misbehaving and roger is on the loose i really want to run into traffic#lol#diaerie#delete later
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#vent post#tw vent#my mom: it’s okay you’re homeless u can come here and have a gentle landing and we can work together to get u and ur fiancé back on ur feet#me: okay great now I can work off my huge overdue queue that I was having panic attacks about daily-#mom: actually fuck u ur a disgrace I need you to clean my whole house every single day and I’m going to knock on ur door every 20 minutes#and disturb ur focus (ik u have adhd it’s stupid just get over it) also ur whole family knows how much of a failure u are and are going to#scream at you on the phone about how you’re not doing anything despite the fact you’ve helped out every time I’ve asked and THEN SOME to#the point of eye exhaustion and shivers and mental breakdowns and then I’m going to forget it ever happened and make you do MORE chores and#yell at u if you say u need to focus again#me: …….. so this is the gentle landing huh?#I’m so fucking exhausted#they keep saying my art doesn’t make money and isn’t a career LITERALLY IT IS HOW DO U THINK I PAID FOR FOOD AND RENT FOR THE LAST 4 YEARS#they keep calling it my ‘little art thing’ and insisting I get a real job WHEN I HAVE ACTUAL PAID COMMISSIONS I HAVE TO WORK ON#I can’t just ignore these and fuck off to answer phones or stock shelves at your friends friends aunts car dealers place fuck OFFFFFF#like being homeless with 4 cats and 6 boxes of belongings isn’t hard enough I have to be fucking berated by people who haven’t tried talking#to me IN MY LIFE EVERRRRRR#fuck off
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I know being in love makes you say dramatic stuff and all that but I’m being dead serious right now. I’m gonna marry this guy
#having a moment here#my best friend of five years now my beloved#the past few weeks I’ve been bedridden with illness and he’s come over almost every day to take care of me#even during finals#cleaned my whole apartment while I was sick#including scrubbing the toliet and litter box#asked nothing in return#he is just a person brimming with love#and not just for me#now he’s calling me deeper into the faith#ughhh okay gushing over rn#let’s see if this one ever makes it out of the drafts#like any of the others#Mooky talks#for my beloved
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How do u choose colors
honestly a lot of the time i just colour pick from official art and then tweak it a little bit to suit my tastes, lately though i've been having fun using set colour palettes!
#ask#sorry this is a VERY old one#im just going through and cleaning out my ask box while i eat lunch
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The need to dump all my dirty thoughts into your askbox but also not wanting to be overwhelming or annoying are warring in my head rn raaaaa /lh
-🌙
Baby, you absolutely should do that
#lee txt#inbox answer#moon anon#i just woke up#literally stll in bed#augh#anyway I cleaned out my ask box yesterday so
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i’m literally going to **** ******
#i’ve been without T for a month or so because my doctor forgot to prescribe it again when my last prescription period was over bc she could#only prescribe it a year at a time. so i went in to do bloodwork because ive been having health problems like getting a light period and#PMDD a year and a half into being on T and it happened to be when she was supposed to represcribe which iwas like ok nice!#but she forgot to represcribe it so I was 2 weeks without it before I realized that hmm something probably happened#so I called her and she fixed it. then the pharmacy told me that they're out of stock. so I called them to find out when it'd be in stock.#then they said it's in stock but she prescribed me the 10mL bottle when my insurance doesn't cover that. so I called her again to fix that.#and she said that she didn't prescribe me that because why would she when my shots aren't even close to 1 mL? so I called the pharmacy#and they said yeah idk who said that it's wrong. your T will be ready later today. I go to pick it up and quite literally the moment I pull#up to the window the pharmacists pull down the shade that says they're closed on lunch. so ive had horrible mental health and physical symp#oms for the past month because I've been without t right? so I thought okay when I come back home from moving out of my apt#because my pharmacy is in my hometown; then ill get my T. and then once I get my T I can start my new medication because I want my levels t#stabilize before we introduce something new into the ecosystem. and im cleaning my apartment today and going through bags and shit and lo a#behold? there are four fucking boxes of T sitting in a bag in my closet JUST LIKE I THOUGHT! I JUST COULD NOT FIND THEM so ive been going#through hell for fucking nothing. for literally nothing. and I was like oh my god okay I have my T I should go and pick up my new medicatio#and I go to get my shoes on and look at the clock and it's 5:01. they close at 5.#and I have my appointment with my psychiatrist on Wednesday where shes going to ask me how it's been starting my medication and im going to#have to tell her I havent started and im not better at all and im so new to her im nervous what she will say. sorry for being crazy. im not#good at this or medication. sorry. do you want me to kill myself ill do it in front of you if that would help. AUGHHHHGHHGHGHHHHHHHHHHGGHGH#NONE OF THIS HAD TO HAPPEN. I JUST HAVE SO MUCH SHIT IN MY APARTMENT BECAUSE ITS SO SMALL THAT I COULD NOT FIND PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION#I HATE IT HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME OUTTTTTT (in my brain)
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hi love <3
cannot believe you're so gay you have followed me to my dead blog too. i love you so dearly hello <3
#cleaning out the ask box#everyone look it's my partner who is infinitely cooler than me#they're into marvel comics and i'm not i just follow what they say about things most of the time.#i love them so dearly. my current personality is their fault bc i copied it from them.#ily mal but it is your fault i'm simping so hard for a character from star wars. evil how dare you.#anyway gay on main
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sometimes I think about my years as a scout. and then wonder how im still alive/sane
#WHEN DID I WRITE THIS??? HELLO??#i have no memory of doing this but my drafts were empty last week????#we did a competition camp and we burned everything. set baked beans on fire set a tub of butter on fire#i ate a basically raw sweet potato because we were tired of waiting for it to cook more#someone in my troopgot paid 20p to drink a concotion of out of date juice dirt water and stick pieces (he did it)#i sat and read a warrior cats book in the shared tent while my friends pretended to have gay sex next to me#(i say pretend because they were still fully clothed#that was just one camp#and then at the scout hut we had a box of expired foods that wed occasionally go thru#and my sister got tricked into eating a green marshmallow and got food poisoning#(i didnt eat it bc i was suspicious of why they were giving out free food)#i had a knife thrown at me multiple times. most notable being when someone (weird drink guy) thought i was tryna steal his chair#we werent allowed pocketknives at camp after that#one of the leaders hated me. told me i looked miserable all the time and didnt like that i was vegetarian#but its fine bc he was a dick. made us clean his car okce because it was a “learning experience”#my parents paid for me to go to scouts#i talk to none of the people from there anymore#oh and the majority of the boys had a weird obsession with my sister. and would ask me how to talk to her#i think it really shaped me as a person tbh
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manifesting sel bel sandwiched between black compression shirts iwa and gojo
miraluv……. save me… save me…
#miraluv i CANT BELIEVE YOU PUT THAT IMAGE IN MY HEAD#OHHHHHHHH MY FOS#Oh my fos.#sandwiched between… compression shirts… AND CHEST?!?!?!??!?!?!#LOOOOOOOOORDDDD TAKE ME AWAAAAAAYYYY#my life has been made. Or maybe. is this the afterlife? is this what dreams are made of?????#is this a level of other worldliness?!!!!??!#my GAWWWWEDD#being sandwiched between them would simultaneously be the worst and best day of my life#can u just imagine HOW GOOD THEY’D SMELL#oh my god gojo doesn’t sweat LOL#hajime does but he’s like. clean gym boy. HE HAS TO BE IF HE’S GNA BE W ME#I DONT TAKE STINKY MEN#BUT FAWWKSKSNKDJS CAN U JUST IMAGINE THEM IH My god#their height difference would be so cute too LOL hajime would have to step on a box#THIS JUST MEANS IM PROBABLY GONNA BE FACE TO FACE W THEIR STOMACHS INSTEAD 😭😭😭😭#wait omg that means… a-abs…..#GOOOODOAWKSKDKD SAVE MEEEE LORDJSKDNSJ IM PULLING MY HAIR OUT#IM GONNA EAT THEM BOTH WTAGSJSNDKMDD#amira.☀️#pastelle-rabbit#ask#rep#god choose me 🙏 pick me 🧎♀️➡️
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up next on chapter 36 of idol sengen… _(:3 」∠)_
#(my toxic trait is that i’ll complain about my work endlessly but still end up doing it anyway… eventually.)#there’s rant 1 (ft. a need to deduce what asuna is saying in full) and rant 2 (which is available in full but still…)#there’s also another mona-rambling session in chapter 38… that im not touching with a 50 foot pole#(all you need to know for that mona-rambling [about frusu] is that mona’s frusu oshi is all of them)#(and that she thinks miyu is like *the* pinnacle of centres in idol groups)#(also someone won a junior dance competition but idk who bc it’s obscured lmao)#can i outsource these panels for a corn chip lmaoooo#m. maybe i should’ve actually worked on this while i was still unemployed last month huh…#bc excuse me company wdymmmmmm im starting work next monday?? the interview was just this monday hello?#ig the interviewer was legit when she said ‘so if i asked you if you can start work next monday—’ huh…#sigh… maybe ch 36 next month then… i’ll do my best over the weekend thoughhhhh#seriously though why is this volume so text heavy l m a o i really wanna get to chapter 40 but…#and then there’s the hard to clean text boxes which… aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#…though i guess i should just count myself lucky that the chapters are still short enough to fit into a single post (with the image limits)#but dang. i just realised that my manga sengen thing has a page on manga updates lmao#who put it there lmaooooo and why is it only up till vol 2? wait. no. what. why does it link to manga.dex#bc dang. someone really had the time to dl the thing image by image? no wonder why they stopped after vol 2…#guess i might as well say why i dont want people to reupload my tls… since we’re in the final stretch and all#so. aside from the obvious ‘idw the creators to find out about it’… i probably made a ton of mistakes while tling it. esp in the early chaps#so i’d like to. y’know. have the chance to update the tls where possible. i’ve done that a couple of times already tbh.#like with rippei’s name post-vol 4 release. and some of the typesetting is p. gross in the early chaps tbvh#i swear tling idol sengen has made me incredibly conscious of grammar and typesetting like you wouldnt believe#esp with official tls… fan tls will always be perfect to me no matter how wonky the wording bc it’s hard but honest work yk#official tls (esp a.i tls) get no concessions from me bc it’s their job that they’re getting paid to do yk.#in any case (if you’ve read this far) if you see any mistakes in the tl please lemme know~~~ please dont hold back on your criticisms ok~~~?#just sound ‘em out in dms here or sth. don’t worry~~~ i won’t eat y’all if you try to correct me~~~~~ unless you’re the md reuploader (jk)#and ik i disabled comments on the other blog (or tried to at least) but that’s bc idw bots to flood the comments bc that’s annoying as he—#anyways sorry for the idol sengen wait (if anyone was waiting for it…) i’ll improve on my work ethic… tomorrow. maybe.
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