#just cause. implicitly
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cassyapper · 2 months ago
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i have so many fucking thoughts about holly kujo like do you ever think about how in the sbrverse she's a doctor but in the og verse she's just a housewife. do you ever think about this. i think about it.
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tweetsongs · 1 month ago
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and of course buck is gonna drive eddie to the airport and of course eddie is gonna reassure him that they'll still be best friends and of course buck will grin and nod and agree and tease and encourage eddie right up until he goes through those gates at which point he will have a panic attack in the airport lounge. of course.
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tennessoui · 1 year ago
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“This time, he makes himself linger in the touch, newly terrified at what it could mean if he pulls away before Anakin is ready—where his padawan could go for what Obi-Wan has always tried so hard to be strong enough not to offer him.” am i just sleepy at 6:25am in the morning or i don't understand it 😭😭😭
-> i wrote this in my comment after rereading the counseling au again. and it has been two hours and i've also finished the "fake marriage" au's second chapter but i'm still stuck on this scene. can you please explain what's the meanng of it? /gen 🥺🥺🥺 pls help me sleep peacefully
ahh hello i am always willing to try to explain!:
(this is from couples counseling au, chapter 4)
so this line is obi-wan wrestling with himself, trying to relax into the affection, because he’s afraid that if he pulls away too soon from anakin’s casual touch, anakin will leave him to go to his wife who will give him as many casual touches as anakin needs. Like, if he pulls away too soon, when obi-wan is ready for the touch to end but not when anakin is, Anakin will then go to his wife to complete his physical needs when obi-wan should be able to give anakin whatever he needs
and the part about 'tried so hard to be strong enough not to offer him' is mostly just obi-wan's self-denial kicking in and probably his weird issues with touch and anakin and touching anakin
but so basically the 'where' is padmé, the 'what' is touch/physical comfort, and the last part just implies that obi-wan has a long history of struggling with trying to give anakin the touch he needs without going overboard and giving in and touching him more---maybe as much as obi-wan wants
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franeridan · 1 year ago
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rereading whole cake and I love how sanji's like I went against you and fought you so I can't come back to you cause that's obviously him remembering what happened with usopp back in water seven but also it means that he totally forgot all it took for usopp to be allowed back was for him to apologize and say he wanted back in and that's just. typical mugiwara behaviour. to remember how seriously they have to take luffy as a captain but forget just how easily luffy forgives them anyway. to remember they have to respect him but forget that he loves them first and foremost
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coeurvrai · 4 months ago
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The fact that they chose to adapt Hugh Hammer as one of Saera's sons and had him claim Jaehaerys's dragon but made no reference to Saera up until this point and, more importantly, that Hugh is outright "ashamed of her" is like... such fucking bullshit.
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fiveappendages · 1 year ago
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if i said SCP articles that were more like tales are much more fun compared to SCP articles that document a Thing...
also if i said every GOI that ISN'T the foundation was criminally underrated in one way or another.
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trans-leek-cookie · 1 year ago
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someone talking about the ways media and common tropes/depictions of things that are either explicitly or implicitly linked to marginalized people are demonized and presented badly is not a fucking opportunity for you to flex how you're doing it Differently And Better
#I'll rb the post but I domt want to add it on cause it feels. Not my place maybe#Anyway fun fact! You can think that all you fucking want! Close your God damn mouth about it and figure out if it actually adds to the#Conversation! Marginalized ppl don't have to hear about how you're hashtag Not Like The Others!!! TAKE IN THE INFORMATION AND CONSIDER IF#THE THINGS YOU DO TRULY DEFY STEREOTYPES OR ARE STILL IMPLICITLY INSPIRED BY THESE BIASES!!! AND DO IT QUIETLY OR WITH SOMEONE WHOS WILLING#TO LISTEN! NOT ON THE POST INFORMING YOU OF THE PROBLEMS EXISTENCE#Also I'd move this tag up but genuinely idk if I can do that atm. But I'm LITERALLY guilty of the same shit. I immediately jump to no true#Scotsman the subject because I want to defend it!!! Yes I recognize the pattern is wrong and yes I genuinely believe it isn't necessarily#Inherent! But I still have to confront the fact that it's so prominent and to many people inseparable from the subject#(That being disability and body horror). I will say: my immediate instinct was to disregard any body horror that is just like Real Shit Tha#Happens To People as body horror but that's not helpful! I can't just say well it's not body horror BECAUSE PEOPLE STILL CALL AND SEE IT AS#BODY HORROR!!! I HAVE TO STOP AND CONSIDER THE LARGER IMPLICATIONS. My PERSONAL OPINIONS do not matter and the pedantic discussion is#Something to be had with friends or used as it's own criticism of the genre not ON THE POST CALLING OUT A REAL ISSUE! Anyway just.#Both artists and consumers have to be critical of What we see as body horror/what others tell us is body horror/what we accept as body#Horror bc/what we create as body horror etc. We NEED to confront that and we can't just say I Wouldn't Do That! We need to understand that#It goes deeper than that!!! Also YOU DONT INHERENTLY KNOW WHATS POSSIBLE FOR A HUMAN TO EXPERIENCE#There's so many things that ppl can experience and Live With! There are obviously things that are fatal so u rarely hear abt them but human#Beings can survive a lot of things!!! And here's the thing: the rarer something is the shittier it feels to have it misrepresented!!!#At the very basic level: CHECK IF THE THING YOU WANT TO USE AS BODY HORROR IS A RECORDED PHENOMENON AT LEAST!!! FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK#DO THE BARE MINIMUM
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I wasn't thinking! My power was so powerful and new I'll chalk this up to All the stupid things that I've done And all the stupid things that I'll do
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kavehater · 5 months ago
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Wow I just remembered how Maryam called me easy as a half joke when at the time it was quite close to the Eris incident and fatema agreed laughing and then I started panicking afterwards and then had mentioned how after I had momentarily felt better the panic came back and they had the audacity to exclaim how come and what happened
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neo--queen--serenity · 1 month ago
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I think it was a very fascinating and deliberate choice on the creators’ part to give the two people closest to Jayce—Viktor and Mel—the same imagery that evokes the mystery mage who helped Jayce when he was a child.
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We see this visual callback first in Viktor, in Act I:
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This makes sense, of course, once we know the mystery mage is Viktor—albeit a future version of himself. But what struck me is the fact that they also gave Mel Medarda the same treatment.
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When Jayce first sees her after the awakening of her magic, he sees that image—a being whose mere presence caused his weapon to light up in recognition, paired with a robe covering their identity—and I think there’s a great possibility that he asked himself if this was the one; the mage who saved him when he was young.
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Once she reveals herself, he visibly relaxes, and they reconnect. But the physical change in her is clear in her body language. She now moves like the mage in Jayce’s memory. She hides her face in her hood often, something she never used to do before. And her mannerisms are slightly different, which could easily be accounted for due to her not being used to the magic now alive in her body. But it’s the change itself that makes the viewer do a double-take.
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It could just be that Mel and Viktor are the only mages we see up close in the series. Perhaps it is simply what happens when magic transforms their wielder in subtle, physical ways.
But I think the parallel holds narrative weight as well. The two people with the most affection and influence over Jayce both end up touched by the Arcane in ways that are both transformative and involuntary. The are changed after their bodies become vessels of magic.
I think that’s why the creators gave both Mel and Viktor the same iconography that would invoke a clear memory from Jayce’s childhood as the symbol that started him on the path to magic.
Viktor actually was the mystery mage from Jayce’s memory, and after the finale, the viewer knows why. But I think, implicitly, the point was that either one of them could have been.
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jezebelblues · 1 month ago
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live on tour (interlinked) | h.s | 1
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pt 1, pt 2 (complete)
summary: we don’t talk about it, it’s something we don’t do—cause once you go without it, nothing else will do.
cw: smut18+ in pt 2, weed, alcohol, angst, sort of a slowburn idk, fem!reader, hs1rry
word count: approx 21.5k gulp
| idk how to feel ab this!!! stay with me now. + tumblr forced me to put this into two parts. [wink, nudge: the lyrics always mean something] i'm posting pt 2 right after this. smut is in 2nd part if that's only ur cup of tea
masterlist
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June, 2017
It was Mitch who vouched for her.
Harry had trusted him implicitly since the first meeting. His effortless cool, his way of speaking only when necessary, and the way his guitar sounded like it could split the sky—all of it made him essential to Harry’s debut. If Mitch said someone was good, Harry would believe it.
But good wasn’t the issue.
“S’not about talent,” Harry had said one night in rehearsals, after the original second guitarist dropped out. “I just need t’feel like we fit, you know?”
Mitch had nodded, taking that as permission to make the call.
Her name was YN.
He’d heard the name before. Her reputation in the industry wasn’t loud but sharp—a razor’s edge that hinted at precision and professionalism. A prodigy of sorts, she’d landed her big break with Pink Floyd’s operatic revival of The Wall, the youngest lead guitarist in the show’s history. Since then, she’d moved from project to project, touring, sitting in on sessions, lending her guitar to artists who wanted her distinct, cutting sound.
Harry had always assumed she was someone you called when you needed the best, but not someone you kept around.
He wasn’t sure why that thought stuck in his head when Mitch mentioned her name.
He fumbled with the hem of his white t-shirt and stood at the back of the dim rehearsal space, watching Mitch set up. The low hum of amps warming up filled the room. Mitch’s quiet focus steadied Harry’s nerves—until the door opened.
She walked in with her guitar strapped across her back. She wasn’t early, but she wasn’t late either. The kind of timing that said she knew she was good but wasn’t going to make a show of it.
“Hey.” Mitch greeted her with a slight nod. He’d already taken his place behind the mixing board, leaving Harry to do the introductions.
YN turned her head toward Harry. Her eyes flickered over him briefly, as if appraising him, and then landed back on Mitch. “This the audition?”
Harry frowned. “Not an audition. A rehearsal.”
She raised an eyebrow, but her expression didn’t waver. “Right. Rehearsal.”
There was no handshake, no nervousness, no wide-eyed awe that he was used to when people first met him. She treated him like someone she was there to work with, not someone she wanted to impress.
Mitch gestured to a stand near the tall brunette. “You can set up there.”
She walked past them both without another word, unzipping her guitar case and pulling out a battered Stratocaster, crème and pine green. Harry noticed her hands immediately—nimble fingers with calluses thick enough to catch the light.
“Let’s get on with it then,” she grinned, plugging in.
He leaned toward Mitch, speaking low enough that she couldn’t hear. “Bit cocky, isn’t she?”
Mitch smirked but didn’t reply.
The first run-through was solid. She played with precision, hitting every note cleanly, and her technical skills were undeniable. But something about it felt cold, distant. Harry tried to catch her eye while they were playing, but she was hyper-focused on her guitar, her face blank.
When they finished the first song, he put his hands on his hips. “Alright,” he paused, louder than necessary. “That’s…fine. Let’s take it from the top.”
YN looked at Mitch. “Fine?”
Harry cut in before he could respond. “Yeah, fine. It’s technically good, but there’s no feeling in it. This isn’t session work. We’re putting on a live show. People need t’feel something when you play.”
She stared at him for a moment, then set her guitar down on its stand. “And what exactly do you want me to feel? We’re playing your songs.”
The tension in the room spiked. Mitch glanced between the two of them, looking ready to intervene.
He crossed his arms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means,” she started, brushing her hair back from her face, “that if you want something specific, maybe tell me what you’re looking for instead of just saying it’s not good enough.”
Her words hung in the air.
Mitch cleared his throat. “Why don’t we try the next track?”
She picked up her guitar without waiting for Harry’s input. Her fingers brushed the strings in a quick, angry strum as she tested the tuning. Harry stared at her, his jaw tight.
She didn’t flinch under his gaze.
It went on like that for the next hour.
Every time YN played, he found something to critique. Her tone, her phrasing, her timing—it didn’t matter that Mitch disagreed and kept insisting she was perfect for the role. Harry refused to back down, nitpicking every detail.
By the time they reached the final song, the air in the room was thick with unspoken animosity. YN played the opening riff of kiwi with more aggression than necessary, her fingers sliding over the frets like she wanted to punish the guitar.
When they finished, she shifted her weight and unplugged her amp. “Are we done?” she asked, slinging her guitar back over her shoulder.
Harry opened his mouth, ready with another critique, but Mitch cut him off. “Yeah. We’re done f'today.”
She nodded, her expression unreadable. She didn’t look at Harry again as she walked toward the door.
When it closed behind her, Harry let out a frustrated sigh. “She’s not right for this.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You sure about that?”
“I’m positive,” He snapped. “She’s not a team player. She doesn’t fit.”
He leaned back against the mixing board, crossing his arms, hair falling behind his shoulders. “You ever think that maybe you’re the one who doesn’t fit?”
Harry glared at him. “What’s that supposed t’mean?”
“It means,” he said slowly, “that she’s a better guitarist than you’re giving her credit for. And maybe you don’t like her because she’s not trying to kiss your ass.”
He scoffed. “That’s ridiculous.”
Mitch shrugged. “If you want to replace her, go ahead. But good luck finding someone else who can keep up with me…or you.”
Outside the rehearsal space, YN stood by her car, lighting a cigarette. She didn’t smoke often, only with a drink or if she was tense. 
She exhaled a plume of smoke into the warm evening air, her jaw clenched. She wasn’t angry exactly, but there was something about Harry Styles that got under her skin.
It wasn’t his fame or his music—that was fine. She’d worked with big names before. It was the way he carried himself, like he expected the world to bend around him.
He wasn’t used to people pushing back, and YN had no intention of making it easy for him.
If he wanted her to feel something when she played, she’d give him exactly that.
Even if it meant setting the whole stage on fire.
The rehearsal space smelled faintly of stale coffee and amps that had been running too long. The walls were lined with soundproofing panels, their faded gray color doing little to brighten the room. YN arrived early this time—not out of eagerness, but because she didn’t want to give Harry anything else to criticize.
Her guitar case thumped onto the ground before she adjusted the ring on her pinky—not dainty, but not loud. Her mother’s birth flower ingrained along the gold surface, a piece of her she could carry since her death in 2014. She could hear Mitch in the back, tuning his Gibson, and the faint shuffle of Harry’s sneakers as he moved across the space, adjusting mic stands and scribbling notes.
She was effortlessly pretty, the kind of beauty that crept up on you when you weren’t paying attention. Her lips held a natural pout, and her hair framed her face in a way that looked casual but impossibly deliberate, like it had conspired with the universe to fall just right. Her outfit was understated, perfect for rehearsal—straight-leg blue denim that sat just right on her hips, an off-white baby tee with cherry bomb splashed in bold red across the center, and a pair of scuffed white club c reeboks that had seen more than their fair share of years since 2015.
Around her wrist was a faded friendship bracelet, its once-bright threads dulled by time but no less significant. Jude, her best friend since high school, had tied it there the night they graduated, their laughter mingling with the hum of summer cicadas. She’d never taken it off, not once, even as life swept them into different journeys.
When YN told Jude over vodka cranberries that she’d landed a gig playing guitar for Harry Styles—yes, that Harry Styles—Jude nearly fell off her barstool. She’d been the kind of One Direction fan who made custom shirts for concerts and cried during little things. YN still remembered the way her voice shook with disbelief as she grabbed her by the shoulders and said, “You’re telling me you’re gonna play for Harry fucking Styles?” It had taken two rounds of shots to calm her down, though her enthusiasm had lingered for weeks. It was the kind of reaction that reminded YN how surreal this opportunity really was.
She promised she’d get her a front row ticket the first night in New York. 
She took her time setting up, deliberately slow. If Harry wanted to play mind games, she could too.
“Morning,” Mitch greeted, glancing up from his guitar.
“Hey,” she replied, flashing a quick smile. Mitch was the only person in the room she felt remotely comfortable around.
Harry’s voice cut through the room, sharper than it needed to be. “You’re early today.”
YN didn’t bother looking at him. “Thought I’d save you the trouble of complaining.”
The sound of Mitch’s guitar string snapping filled the silence that followed. He muttered something under his breath and bent to grab a spare string from his bag.
He walked over, his footsteps deliberate. “It’s not complaining. It’s feedback.”
“Uh-huh,” YN’s lips twitched, focusing on adjusting her amp. She crouched to test the levels, purposely ignoring him.
Harry crouched too, just enough to catch her eye. He smelt like cedar and pine. “You have something t’say?”
Her hands paused on the dials. “Nope.”
“Good.”
She stood abruptly, the motion forcing Harry to lean back. Her expression didn’t change, but her grip on her guitar tightened.
The rehearsal started the same way the last one ended: tense.
YN matched Harry’s intensity with her playing, her fingers precise but hard, striking each note with the kind of force that could shatter glass. She didn’t look at him once, even when he stopped the song halfway through to give her another round of vague critiques.
“Can you make it less…clinical?” he asked, his hands gesturing vaguely in the air.
“Clinical?” she repeated, her voice flat.
“Yeah, like…put some soul into it. Like it means something to you.”
Her lips twitched into the faintest smile, one that didn’t reach her eyes. “I wasn’t aware Sign of the Times was a soul song.”
She didn’t mean that, not really. It was a song of his that she enjoyed, she liked the 70’s elements he took, the way his voice sounded with the instruments in the back—but he was getting under her skin, he deserved the same.
Mitch coughed to hide his laugh.
Harry’s jaw clenched. “You know what I mean.”
“Do I?”
The tension in the room was palpable now, a live wire crackling between them. Mitch stood off to the side, quietly restringing his guitar, pretending not to notice.
Harry took a deep breath, his tone softening. “Look, I just need it t’feel real. Like you’re part of it, not just playing over it.”
She stared at him for a moment, her eyes narrowing slightly. “Alright.”
She picked up her guitar again and launched into the song before anyone could say another word. This time, her playing wasn’t just technically perfect—it was angry. The notes tore through the air, raw and sharp, as if she were trying to prove a point with every riff.
He watched her, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. He couldn’t deny it sounded good—better than good—but there was something about her attitude that made him want to push back harder.
By the time they reached the last song of the set, the air in the room was thick with frustration.
Mitch played the opening riff, his fingers gliding effortlessly over the strings, and YN followed with her part. Her playing was looser now, more natural, but the tension in her shoulders hadn’t eased.
When they finished, Harry didn’t say anything right away. He stood there, staring at her, his lips pressed into a thin line.
“Well?” she asked, her voice clipped.
“S’fine,” he said, his tone careful.
“Fine?”
“You’re improving,” he clarified, though the words felt begrudging.
She laughed under her breath, shaking her head. “Good to know I’m living up to your impossible standards.”
Harry bristled. “It’s not impossible to ask for some effort.”
“Effort?” Her voice rose slightly. “I’ve been putting in effort since I walked through that door, but all you’ve done is nitpick every single thing I do.”
“Because I know what this show needs!”
“No, you know what you need,” she shot back. “This isn’t about the music—it’s about your ego.”
The words hit like a slap. Mitch’s guitar strap slipped from his shoulder as he froze, watching the scene unfold.
Harry’s expression darkened. “If my ego were the problem, you wouldn’t be here.”
The room went silent.
YN’s gaze didn’t waver. “Right. Well, maybe you should’ve thought about that before you dragged me into this.”
She slung her guitar over her shoulder and walked toward the door, her sneakers squeaking against the floor.
“Where are you going?” Harry called after her.
She paused, her hand on the doorknob. “Taking a break. Unless you have a problem with that too.”
Before he could respond, the door swung shut behind her.
Mitch set his guitar down and looked at Harry, his expression unreadable. “You’re really bad at this, you know that?” he said finally.
Harry glared at him. “At what?”
“Not making her hate you.”
Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair. “She doesn’t hate me.”
Mitch raised an eyebrow. “And the sky isn’t blue.”
He didn’t reply. He sat down on the edge of the stage, his shoulders slumping slightly. He wasn’t used to being challenged like this, and it was throwing him off balance.
Mitch leaned against the amp, watching him. “You know, you don’t have to like her. You just have to work with her.”
“I know.” 
“Then stop pushing her so hard. She’s already good enough for this tour—you’re the one who needs to let go a bit.”
He didn’t say anything, but the knot in his chest tightened. He wasn’t sure if it was frustration or something else entirely.
Outside, YN leaned against the wall, her cigarette glowing faintly in the dim light. She exhaled slowly, her breath visible in the cool evening air.
She wasn’t sure what was worse—working with Harry or wanting to prove him wrong so badly it made her chest ache.
She took another drag and let the thought dissolve in the smoke.
September third
The studio was quiet now, the hum of amps and chatter of the band long gone. The others had left half an hour ago, leaving YN to pack up her gear in peace. She moved deliberately, her hands steady despite the exhaustion settling deep in her bones.
The rehearsal had been grueling. Harry had pushed harder than ever, his sharp critiques grating on her nerves until every strum of her guitar felt like a defiance. She wasn’t sure if he noticed—or cared—but by the end of the session, she’d felt like she was one wrong note away from throwing her guitar through a wall.
Now, alone with the quiet, she could finally breathe.
Until she wasn’t alone.
The sound of footsteps echoed behind her, and YN stiffened, glancing over her shoulder to see Harry stepping back into the room. He had swapped his stage shoes for sneakers, the cuffs of his trousers rolled slightly at the ankles. His sweater was slung over one shoulder, and the faint sheen of sweat on his neck suggested he hadn’t been gone long.
“Forgot m’notebook,” he said, his voice casual as his eyes scanned the room.
“Lucky me,” she muttered, turning back to her guitar.
He didn’t reply, but she could feel his presence as he crossed the space, moving toward the table where his things were scattered.
YN focused on wrapping her cable, each loop tight and precise. She wasn’t in the mood for small talk, not after the day they’d had.
But Harry didn’t leave.
The silence stretched, heavy and charged, as he lingered near the table. YN’s movements slowed, her frustration bubbling to the surface.
“Something you need?” she asked, not bothering to mask the edge in her voice.
When he didn’t answer right away, she turned to face him, her hands still clutching the coiled cable.
Harry was watching her, his notebook forgotten on the table. His eyes were sharp, unreadable, and the weight of his gaze made her stomach twist uncomfortably.
“You were pushing today,” he said finally, his tone measured.
She blinked, caught off guard. “Excuse me?”
“During rehearsal,” he clarified, crossing his arms. “You weren’t playing like y’normally do.”
“Maybe I was just tired.” She countered, though the words felt like a lie even as she said them.
“You weren’t tired,” he said softly.
Her jaw tightened. “What do you want, Harry? If you’re here to critique me again, save it. I’ve heard enough for one day.”
His brow furrowed, but he didn’t rise to the bait. Instead, he stepped closer, his movements deliberate but unthreatening. “I wasn’t trying t’pick on you,” he breathed, his voice quieter now. “If that’s how it felt, I’m sorry.”
YN stared at him, her mind struggling to reconcile the words with the man who’d spent months nitpicking every note she played.
“Why do you care?” she asked, the question slipping out before she could stop it.
He hesitated, his lips pressing into a thin line as he looked at her. “Because I need this to work.”
His words landed heavily between them, and for a moment, the room felt too small.
“You act like it’s just me,” she said finally, her voice quieter but still tinged with frustration. “Like I’m the only thing keeping it from working.”
“I don’t think that,” he said quickly, his eyes locking onto hers. “You’re good—better than good. That’s not the problem.”
“Then what is?”
He exhaled slowly, dragging a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s me.”
YN froze, her breath catching at the raw honesty in his voice. She hadn’t expected that—not from him.
The silence between them grew heavier, the tension coiling tighter with every passing second.
Harry’s gaze dropped briefly, like he was searching for the right words. When he looked back up, there was something different in his expression, something softer but no less intense.
“You frustrate me,” he said finally, the words low but certain.
YN’s throat went dry. “Right back at you.”
He took another step closer, and this time, she didn’t move away. Her heart pounded as she looked up at him, her chest tightening under the weight of his stare.
Neither of them spoke, the silence crackling with unspoken words.
She didn’t know who leaned in first—maybe it was him, or maybe it was her—but suddenly the space between them was almost nonexistent. She could feel the warmth of his breath, see the faint flicker of hesitation in his eyes as he lingered just close enough to touch.
Her pulse thundered in her ears, and her fingers curled into the coiled cable in her hand, desperate for something to hold onto.
“Harry,” she whispered, though she wasn’t sure if it was a warning or an invitation.
The sound of his name seemed to pull him back, his eyes searching hers for a fleeting moment before he stepped away.
“I should go.” 
He grabbed his notebook and left without another word, the door clicking shut behind him.
YN stood there, her heart still racing, the ghost of his presence lingering in the air.
Whatever had just happened—whatever had almost happened—she wasn’t sure what to do with it.
September nineteenth
San Francisco was humming.
The Masonic sat perched atop Nob Hill like a jewel overlooking the city, its art deco façade catching the early morning light. By dawn, the line of fans already snaked around the block, blankets and camp chairs scattered across the sidewalk. A faint fog clung to the streets, giving the historic building an ethereal quality as the first rays of sunlight broke through.
It was opening night of Harry’s solo tour, and the air outside the venue was electric.
Groups of fans huddled close, wrapped in scarves and oversized sweatshirts, their conversations a steady hum of anticipation. Some clutched homemade signs or albums, while others leaned against the building, scrolling through their phones to pass the hours.
Inside the venue, it was chaos.
The crew had been there since 6 am, unloading crates of equipment, running cables like veins along the stage. Monitors were stacked, adjusted, then adjusted again. Lights were tested until they bathed the empty floor in saturated pinks and golds. A countdown clock blinked red backstage, a digital reminder that time was slipping through the cracks, too fast and too slow all at once.
By 10 am, the band was in full rehearsal mode, locked in a cycle of repetition and frustration. YN perched on a stool near the edge of the stage, her guitar resting against her thighs, the strap digging into her shoulder. Mitch was on her left, his head bent over his guitar, fingers moving like smoke over the frets. The two of them had been working together for months now, tight and efficient, a partnership forged in long hours and shared cigarettes.
Harry stood center stage, mic in hand, dressed like he hadn’t quite decided if he wanted to be a rock star or a poet today. He wore a loose black blouse unbuttoned to his sternum, tucked into tailored trousers that hung just right. His boots clacked against the floor as he paced, his movements restless, his voice sharp as glass when he spoke.
“Stop, stop,” he sighed, waving his free hand. “It’s off. That transition’s not right.”
She bit down on her tongue. It wasn’t off. She knew it wasn’t off. But Harry had a way of finding faults where there weren’t any, like he needed to pick at something just to prove he could.
Mitch glanced at her, a subtle flick of his eyes that said, Don’t.
She ignored him.
“It’s not the transition,” she jutted her chin, her voice cutting through the murmur of techs and assistants scurrying around the stage. “The timing’s fine. It’s your entrance that’s late.”
He turned to her slowly, the mic dangling from his fingers like a threat. “Oh, is it?” he asked, his tone light, almost amused, but his jaw was tight. “You sure about that?”
YN met his gaze, unflinching. “Positive.”
For a moment, the only sound was the faint hum of an amp in the background. Harry didn’t say anything, just tipped his head slightly, his lips curving into something that wasn’t quite a smile. Then he turned back to the band. “Alright,” he paused, his voice smooth again, commanding. “Run it from the top.”
Mitch exhaled, a quiet sound that YN barely caught. She didn’t look at him. Instead, she adjusted the strap on her guitar and settled her fingers on the fretboard, ready for another round of the same song they’d played fifteen times already.
By noon, the tension was palpable.
Lunch was a quick affair, eaten standing in the dim backstage area while techs rushed past with tangled cords and boxes of equipment. She leaned against a speaker case, picking at a dry sandwich, her guitar propped up against her leg. Across the room, Harry was surrounded by his usual orbit of stylists and assistants, his laugh ringing out every now and then, low and easy. He looked completely unbothered, like he wasn’t the reason half the band was on edge.
Mitch sat down next to her, his plate balanced precariously on his knee.
“You’ve got to let it go,” he said quietly, not looking up from his food.
“Let what go?” She asked, feigning innocence.
He gave her a flat look. “You and Harry. The little pissing contest you’ve got going on.”
“There’s no contest,” she shrugged, taking a bite of her sandwich. “I already won.”
Mitch snorted, but he didn’t argue.
By 5 pm, the soundcheck was over, and the venue was nearly ready. The stage lights cast long, dramatic shadows across the room, making everything feel larger than life. Outside, the crowd had grown to hundreds, their voices rising in bursts of cheers every time someone peeked out from behind the curtains.
Backstage, the dressing rooms were a flurry of last-minute preparations. Harry was in his dressing room, a blur of motion as his stylist fussed over his outfit. A floral suit hung on a rack nearby, catching the light like a disco ball.
In her own space, YN was tightening a loose screw on her guitar, her fingers moving with practiced ease. Her nerves were starting to hum, a low undercurrent she couldn’t quite shake. This was her first tour—her first real tour in a set band, a member, belonging—and it felt like walking a tightrope with no safety net.
A knock on the door pulled her out of her thoughts.
“Come in,” she called, not looking up.
The door creaked open, and Harry stepped inside, his presence filling the small room like a gust of wind.
YN froze for half a second before returning to her task.“What do you want?” she asked, not bothering to hide the edge in her voice.
Harry leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms. “Just checking in,” he said, his tone deceptively casual. “You ready for tonight?”
She glanced at him, her expression unreadable. “Are you?”
His lips twitched, like he was fighting a smile. “Always.”
For a moment, they just stared at each other, the air between them crackling with unspoken tension. Then Harry pushed off the doorframe and straightened, his eyes lingering on her for a beat longer than necessary.
“See you out there,” he mumbled, and then he was gone, leaving the room feeling smaller and heavier than before.
By eight, the doors had opened, and the crowd was pouring in, filling the venue with a rush of energy that seemed to seep into the walls. Backstage, the band was gathered in a tight circle, their instruments tuned, their game faces on.
Harry stood at the center, his suit catching the light, his presence commanding as he gave a short pep talk. YN stood slightly to the side, her fingers tapping an uneven rhythm against her thigh. She barely listened to his words, too focused on the sound of the crowd beyond the curtains, their cheers swelling like a tidal wave.
When the house lights dimmed, the noise was deafening.
As the band took their places on stage, the roar of the audience hit her like a physical force. The spotlight burned bright, blinding her for a moment as she adjusted to the sheer magnitude of it all.
Harry stepped forward, his silhouette outlined in pinks and gold as he grabbed the mic stand. The crowd went feral, their screams rising to a fever pitch as he flashed that grin, the one that could disarm even the sharpest tongue.
He didn’t speak, he didn’t need to—the crowd did that for him. 
YN’s fingers hovered over the strings of her guitar, her pulse thrumming in time with the cheers.
And then the music began.
It was loud and raw and electric, the kind of sound that sank its teeth into you and didn’t let go. The stage pulsed with life, the crowd moving like a single, writhing entity, their hands reaching for something intangible.
Harry owned the stage, his presence magnetic, his voice weaving through the room like a spell. YN played like she had something to prove, her fingers dancing over the strings with precision and fire. For all their clashes, for all the sharp words and narrowed eyes, when they played together, it was seamless.
Perfect, even.
And maybe that was the problem.
The stage felt alive. No, not alive. Hungry. Like it had been waiting for this moment, this crowd, and it wouldn’t be satisfied until every single body in the Masonic was consumed by the music.
YN’s sneakers scuffed against the stage floor as she adjusted her stance, fingers flying over the strings of her guitar. The heat of the lights was a constant pressure on her skin, beads of sweat forming at her temples and sliding down the back of her neck. But she didn’t care. Not about the lights, or the heat, or the way her thighs ached from standing so long.
She was falling in love—with the music, with the electricity in the air, with the way the crowd moved like a living organism, surging and crashing like waves in sync with every beat of the drums.
The screams had been deafening from the start, a tsunami of sound that swelled every time Harry leaned into the mic, his voice wrapping around the room and pulling it taut. He worked the crowd like a master, every glance, every laugh, every sway of his hips sending the audience into hysterics.
She wasn’t immune.
She hated to admit it, but she felt it too—that gravitational pull, that magnetic charisma that seemed to pour out of him effortlessly. She caught herself watching him when she shouldn’t, her eyes flicking to the way his shoulders moved under the sharp lines of his pretty suit, the easy way he gripped the mic stand like it was an extension of his body.
And every so often, he’d glance at her.
Not a passing look. A moment.
It would last half a beat longer than it should, his eyes catching hers under the wash of the stage lights. She couldn’t tell if he was teasing her, challenging her, or something else entirely. But it was enough to make her fingers stumble once, the wrong note ringing out for a split second before she recovered.
If Harry noticed, he didn’t show it.
The setlist was relentless. The kind of music that made you feel like your heart was going to explode, like you couldn’t keep up and didn’t want to. The kind of music that made YN forget she was supposed to hate the guy running the show.
“Alright,” Harry said into the mic, his voice lower now, intimate, like he was sharing a secret with each and every person in the crowd. “I want to slow it down for a bit. Let’s make this next one special, yeah?”
The audience erupted, their cheers shaking the walls.
She let herself glance up, just once, and there he was.
Harry stood center stage, his eyes sweeping over the crowd like he could memorize every face. And then his gaze found hers. It pinned her, held her still even as her hands moved over the strings with practiced ease. He didn’t smile this time, didn’t smirk or tease. His expression was soft, unreadable, like he was trying to figure her out and didn’t quite know how.
YN looked away first, focusing on her guitar, on the warmth of the strings under her fingers. But she felt his eyes linger, even as he turned back to the crowd, his voice slipping into the melody.
The audience swayed, their voices blending with his, turning the room into one collective heartbeat. She could feel it under her skin, in her chest, this pulsing connection between the stage and the people who filled the seats. She couldn’t explain it, but it made her chest ache, a hollow kind of ache that was somehow beautiful.
She wasn’t just falling in love with the crowd—she was falling in love with the way they loved him. The way their energy fed into his, creating this endless loop of give and take. It was magnetic, intoxicating, and she hated how much she wanted to be part of it.
As the show reached its climax, the band hit the frenetic rhythm of kiwi. The crowd lost their minds, screaming and jumping in unison as the pounding bassline and frantic guitars drove the song forward like a freight train.
Harry was in his element now, prowling the stage like a lion in a cage, his energy sharp and electric. He threw himself into the song with reckless abandon, his voice raw, his body moving like it was possessed by the music.
She felt it too, her fingers sliding over the strings with an intensity she didn’t know she was capable of. She played like she wanted to leave a mark, like she wanted the crowd to feel every note down to their bones.
Harry spun toward her at one point, his eyes catching hers as he sang.
All over me it’s like I paid for it, like I paid for it—I’m gonna pay for this
The line wasn’t even hers, maybe thrown toward her, sure, but the way he locked eyes with her as he belted it made her throat tighten. There was something feral about the way he looked at her, something that sent a jolt of adrenaline straight to her chest.
She didn’t look away this time.
By the time the last note of the encore faded into the ether, the crowd was still screaming, still begging for more. Harry stood at the edge of the stage, his hands pressed together in a gesture of thanks, his smile wide and genuine.
YN hung back, her guitar still slung over her shoulder, her chest heaving from the exertion of the last few songs. She watched him bask in the adoration of the crowd, the way they screamed his name like a prayer.
And for the first time, she felt it too.
That pull. That strange, inexplicable magnetism that made it impossible to look away.
The final notes of the encore still buzzed in her ears as she followed the band offstage, the roar of the crowd trailing behind them like an echo that refused to fade. Her body ached in places she didn’t know could ache—her fingers stiff from hours of playing, her calves burning from the constant movement—but the adrenaline still surged, making her feel weightless and untouchable.
She had done it. They had done it.
The opening night had gone off like a firework, every moment exploding brighter and louder than the last. From the first chord to the final bow, it had been electric. And for once, she didn’t feel like just another cog in the machine. On that stage, with the lights scorching her skin and the crowd’s energy feeding her soul, she felt like a part of something massive. Something alive.
And Harry—despite everything—had been a part of that.
They’d had moments up there, brief but undeniable, where their music seemed to sync in ways their personalities couldn’t. He’d looked at her like she was the only other person in the room, and she’d felt it, that spark. That rare kind of connection that made everything else fade into static.
She thought maybe he’d felt it too.
Backstage was a flurry of chaos, but it was the kind of chaos that came with relief. Crew members slapped high-fives, a few whooped into the cavernous space, and Mitch grinned at her as they stowed their gear.
“That was something, huh?” he said, leaning back against the wall, his guitar case resting at his feet.
“Yeah,” she said, breathless. “It really was.”
Her eyes darted toward Harry, who was standing in the middle of it all, his floral suit catching the dim light of the hallway. He was talking to a few crew members, his laugh echoing down the corridor, easy and loud.
YN lingered on the edge of the group, still cradling her guitar, waiting for him to glance her way. Say something. Anything.
But he didn’t.
Instead, he clapped Mitch on the shoulder as he passed by, murmured something low and warm to the bassist, then disappeared down the hallway, flanked by his manager and stylist.
Her stomach sank.
Seriously?
The after-party was just as loud as the show, a whirlwind of congratulatory cheers and glasses clinking in a private room at some sleek hotel downtown. The crew was there, the band, a few industry types YN didn’t recognize but figured she should. She was used to this kind of thing—small, exclusive, the kind of celebration that was more about appearances than fun—but tonight it felt different.
She stuck close to Mitch for most of it, nursing a vodka sour and letting the buzz of conversation wash over her.
“Relax,” Mitch said at one point, leaning against the bar beside her. “You look like you’re still waiting for the second set to start.”
“I’m good.” She mumbled a little too quickly.
His brow arched, but he didn’t press.
Across the room, Harry was the center of attention, as always. He moved through the crowd like he belonged there, laughing and chatting like he hadn’t just poured himself out on stage for hours. She couldn’t help but watch him, the way people gravitated toward him, how he seemed to light up every corner of the room he stepped into.
But he didn’t look at her. Not once.
She tried not to let it bother her, but it did.
After everything on stage, after every glance, every unspoken connection, it felt like he was intentionally keeping his distance. Like he’d flipped some invisible switch, cutting her off before she could even figure out what had changed.
By the time the party wound down, YN had had enough. She slipped out quietly, her guitar case slung over her shoulder, and headed for the lobby. The cool night air hit her like a slap when she stepped outside, the noise of the party muffled behind the heavy glass doors.
She stood there for a moment, letting the city’s chaos replace the strange hollowness that had settled in her chest.
She didn’t know why she’d expected something different from him. He was Harry Styles, after all—the man who could command a room with a smirk, who probably had a million other things on his mind besides her.
But still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted tonight.
Maybe it was the crowd, or the way the music had felt like it was tying them together in ways they didn’t quite understand. Maybe it was the way he’d looked at her, like she was part of it, part of him.
Or maybe she was imagining it all.
She sighed, adjusting her grip on the guitar case as she started down the empty street toward her hotel.
Behind her, the sound of the door opening and closing made her stop.
But when she turned, it wasn’t him.
It was just some random guest stepping out for a smoke, their lighter flaring briefly in the dark.
She shook her head and kept walking.
The morning after opening night started with a headache.
The alarm went off at five, its shrill tone slicing through the still-dark San Francisco hotel room. YN groaned as she rolled over and slapped it off, her limbs heavy with the weight of too little sleep and too much tension. Her body ached from the show—her fingers stiff, her shoulders sore—but the adrenaline still hadn’t completely worn off.
She dressed in silence, pulling on denim shorts and an oversized hoodie, her hair shoved under a worn baseball cap. By the time she dragged her case and bookbag downstairs, the lobby was already filled with half-awake crew members milling around with to-go coffees and luggage carts. The band gathered near the hotel entrance, everyone moving slow, bleary-eyed.
Everyone but Harry.
He stood near the glass doors, sunglasses perched on his nose even though it was still too early for sunlight. His outfit—effortlessly tailored black slacks and black tee, paired with boots that clacked against the marble floor—looked like it belonged in a photoshoot, not a cramped tour bus ride down the coast. His hair was artfully disheveled, like it had been tousled by the same wind that carried his confidence.
YN hated that he didn’t look tired. He looked perfect, unbothered, untouchable.
And, true to form, he didn’t acknowledge her.
Not directly, anyway.
“Morning, Mitch,” Harry nodded, his voice smooth and low as he greeted the guitarist with a clap on the shoulder. He grinned at Sarah and made some easy joke that had her laughing quietly, her coffee held close to her chest.
She stood off to the side, shifting her weight between her feet, watching the scene unfold like an outsider looking through a frosted window.
She thought about last night. About how he’d looked at her on stage like the world had narrowed to just the two of them. About how he hadn’t spoken a single word to her after.
She didn’t understand it. She didn’t understand him.
“Let’s get moving,” their tour manager barked, clapping his hands. “Bus leaves in five.”
YN grabbed her things and followed the group outside, the cool morning air biting at her cheeks as they made their way toward the waiting bus.
The ride to Los Angeles was tense in the worst kind of way.
She had claimed a window seat near the middle of the bus, her headphones cranked up to drown out the low hum of conversation around her. She stared out at the Pacific Coast Highway, the ocean stretching endlessly to the right, the cliffs jagged and wild to the left. It should’ve been peaceful, beautiful even, but she couldn’t focus on anything but the gnawing irritation in her chest.
Harry was sitting three rows ahead, leaned back in his seat with one arm slung lazily over the headrest. He was talking to Sarah again, his voice low enough that YN couldn’t hear the words, but the sound of it still grated on her nerves.
She wasn’t sure why she cared so much. She didn’t want to care.
If he wanted to ignore her, fine. She could ignore him right back.
By the time they reached LA, the tension had evolved into a quiet kind of war.
At the Greek Theater, the crew unloaded equipment, their movements brisk and practiced as they prepared for soundcheck. The sun blazed down on the open-air amphitheater, turning the white seats into a blinding sea of light.
YN was on edge, her patience wearing thinner with every passing hour. He still hadn’t spoken to her, not even in passing. He was polite, distant, the way he’d been before opening night. Like nothing had changed. Like he hadn’t spent the night before throwing glances her way that felt like they could peel her apart.
When he handed out notes during rehearsal, she barely looked at him, keeping her responses clipped and indifferent.
“Got it,” she muttered after one of his suggestions, her tone flat as she adjusted her guitar strap.
Harry blinked at her, his lips twitching into something that might have been surprise. “Good,” he said after a beat, turning his attention to Mitch without another word.
By the time the soundcheck wrapped, She was biting the inside of her cheek so hard it felt raw.
Later, while the rest of the band lingered backstage before the show, YN found herself leaning against the rail of the amphitheater, staring out at the empty seats. The sun had started to dip below the horizon, painting the sky in deep purples and oranges.
She didn’t hear him approach.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?”
The voice startled her, and she turned to find Harry standing a few feet away, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his trousers.
“Yeah.” She breathed, her voice guarded. She didn’t move closer.
He didn’t say anything else, just stood there, his gaze fixed on the horizon. The silence between them stretched, heavy and awkward.
“Something you need?” she asked finally, her tone sharper than she intended.
Harry’s head tilted slightly, his sunglasses reflecting the fading light.
“Just checking in.”
It felt like a lie.
“I’m good, Harry” She mumbled, turning back toward the stage.
He didn’t respond, and when she glanced over her shoulder a few moments later, he was already walking away.
Her fingers tightened around the rail, her chest heavy with frustration she couldn’t quite name.
She hated this.
Hated the way he could make her feel so small, so seen, then turn around and act like she didn’t exist.
It was like trying to hold onto water. The harder she gripped, the faster it slipped through her fingers.
-
Harry stood at the edge of the stage, soaking it all in. He bowed low, his sequined shirt catching the light, a grin breaking across his face. To the crowd, he was untouchable—a god in Gucci.
She followed Mitch and Sarah offstage, her steps quick and mechanical. She could feel Harry trailing behind them, his presence heavy even when she couldn’t see him.
Backstage was chaos, as it always was after a show, but it didn’t faze YN. She moved through the crowd of crew members and assistants like a ghost, ignoring the chatter, the congratulatory smiles.
Her heart was still racing, the adrenaline from the performance twisting into something darker, something restless.
“You good?”
Mitch’s voice cut through the haze. He was leaning against the wall, his guitar case already packed, his expression calm but curious.
“Yeah.” 
Lie.
Harry entered the dressing room a few minutes later, his presence shifting the energy in the space instantly.
He was laughing at something Sarah had said, his voice loud and warm, but the sound grated against YN’s nerves. She kept her back to him, pretending to be busy adjusting a loose string on her guitar.
She felt him glance her way—she could feel it—but she didn’t turn around.
Two could play this game.
And so, the bus ride back to the hotel was unbearable.
YN had claimed a seat near the back, her headphones on, her gaze fixed on the passing city lights outside the window. She could see Harry a few rows ahead, his arm draped casually over the back of his seat as he chatted with the others.
He hadn’t spoken to her all night, and now, sitting there in his own bubble of easy conversation and laughter, it was like she didn’t exist.
Her frustration simmered, bubbling just below the surface.
She replayed the show in her head, each pointed glance, each lyric he’d aimed at her like an arrow. It felt like he was trying to send a message, but she couldn’t decipher it.
Was he angry with her? Was this some kind of punishment? Or was he just playing a game she didn’t know the rules to?
She clenched her jaw and turned up the volume on her music, drowning out the sound of his voice.
By the time they reached the hotel, her nerves were shot.
She practically stormed off the bus, her guitar case banging against her thigh as she made her way to the elevators.
The band and crew trailed behind her, their voices a low hum of exhaustion and contentment. Harry was in the middle of the group, laughing softly at something Mitch had said.
YN pressed the elevator button harder than she needed to, willing it to come faster. She didn’t know if she was more angry or confused. Maybe both.
The elevator doors slid open, and she stepped inside, leaning against the wall and closing her eyes as the others piled in.
She felt him before she saw him.
Harry stepped in last, taking a spot in the corner opposite her. He didn’t look at her, didn’t say a word, but his presence filled the small space like smoke, curling around her, suffocating.
The silence stretched as the elevator ascended, the soft ding of each passing floor the only sound.
When the doors opened on her floor, YN didn’t wait for anyone to move. She pushed past them, her guitar case bumping against Harry’s shin as she stepped out.
“Careful.” He muttered under his breath, the word low but deliberate.
YN froze, her grip tightening on the case. She turned back, her jaw tight, her voice barely above a whisper “You were in the way.”
Harry’s eyes flicked up to meet hers, and for a moment, the tension between them was almost unbearable.
But then he smiled. That infuriating, lopsided grin that always seemed to carry a thousand meanings “Goodnight, YN.” he breathed, his tone maddeningly calm.
And just like that, the elevator doors closed, taking him with it.
She stood there in the empty hallway, her chest heaving, her hands trembling against the strap of her guitar case.
She hated him.
And she hated that she didn’t.
Nashville hit like a fever dream.
The kind of heat that stuck to your skin and turned the air thick, every breath tasting like concrete and sweat. YN stepped off the plane and into the chaos of arrivals, her carry-on slung over one shoulder and her nerves buzzing like a live wire. The overhead announcements droned on, blending with the chatter of passengers and the whir of suitcase wheels.
Behind her, the band followed, each of them bleary-eyed but quiet, the exhaustion of constant travel settling into their bones. They’d left Los Angeles behind with barely enough time to breathe, and now they were here. Another city. Another show.
Harry was in the middle of it all, of course.
He strode through the airport like he owned it, dressed in a casual white t-shirt and plaid trousers, his sunglasses pushed up into his messy hair. His carry-on was slung lazily over his shoulder, the strap resting on a ringed hand, and he moved with the kind of effortless ease that YN had learned to despise.
She hated how calm he looked. How composed. Like he hadn’t spent the last two days pulling the same infuriating routine—ignoring her during rehearsals, barely acknowledging her existence outside of the necessary, and throwing her those strange, pointed glances on stage.
She adjusted the strap of her own bag and turned away from him, focusing on the bustling terminal as they followed the signs toward baggage claim.
By the time they made it outside, the air was heavy with humidity, the sun dipping low on the horizon and casting long shadows across the tarmac. Their bus waited near the curb, sleek and black, the driver already loading their checked equipment and luggage into the belly of the vehicle.
YN stepped aside to let Mitch and Sarah board first, leaning against the side of the bus and tugging her baseball cap lower over her eyes. She was tired. Bone-tired. And the thought of spending another night in close quarters with Harry’s infuriating silence made her chest feel tight.
“YN.”
His voice came from behind her, low and steady, and it made her stomach flip in a way she refused to acknowledge.
She turned to find Harry standing a few feet away, his bag slung carelessly over his shoulder. He wasn’t wearing his sunglasses now, and his green eyes caught the soft light of evening, sharp and clear.
“Yeah?” she sighed, her tone flat.
Harry blinked at her, like he hadn’t expected her to answer. “I, uh…” He hesitated, running a hand through his hair. “You left this.”
He held out a small notebook, the worn leather cover instantly recognizable. YN’s stomach twisted. She didn’t even realize she’d forgotten it.
“Thanks.” She mumbled, reaching for it. Their fingers brushed, and the contact sent a shiver down her spine. She snatched the notebook quickly, shoving it into her bag.
For a moment, neither of them said anything. Harry shifted his weight, his gaze flicking past her to the bus, like he was trying to find an escape route.
“Long flight,” he said finally, the words almost awkward.
She raised an eyebrow. “You’re making small talk now?”
His mouth twitched—something between a smirk and a grimace. “Just trying t’be polite.” His voice was low, almost teasing.
She didn’t know why that annoyed her so much. “Well, don’t strain yourself,” she shot back, her words sharper than she intended.
Harry’s expression shifted, the teasing edge dropping away. For a moment, he looked at her like he wanted to say something, something important, but then he just shook his head.
“Right.” he said softly. “Good t’know where we stand.”
Before she could respond, he turned and climbed onto the bus, leaving her standing there in the heavy Nashville air, her pulse thundering in her ears.
She clenched her jaw, gripping the strap of her bag so tight it hurt.
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
With a frustrated sigh, she followed him onto the bus, determined to avoid him for the rest of the night.
The hotel lobby was as tired as YN felt—dimly lit, decorated in muted earth tones that looked like they hadn’t been updated since the 90s. A long line of leather couches stretched across one side, mostly empty now that the band and crew had already checked in and trudged upstairs to collapse into their rooms.
She stood at the reception desk, trying to ignore the looming presence of Harry a few feet behind her as she slid her ID across the polished counter.
She croaked out her first and last name, her voice tight with exhaustion. “Should be a reservation under that.”
The receptionist, a young woman with tired eyes and a forced smile, tapped at her keyboard. For a moment, YN let herself hope this would go smoothly.
“Ah…” the woman began, her smile faltering as she looked up at her apologetically. “It seems there’s been an error in the system.”
Her stomach sank. “What kind of error?”
“It looks like…” The receptionist squinted at her screen, then back at YN. “Your booking and Mr. Styles’ booking were combined. There’s only one room reserved for both of you.”
She blinked, certain she must have misheard. “What?”
“One room,” the woman repeated, her voice overly kind, like she was delivering bad news to a child.
A low sound from behind her drew YN’s attention, and she turned to see Harry standing there, his lips twitching into the faintest hint of a smirk.
“Of course,” he muttered, more to himself than to her.
YN turned back to the receptionist, her pulse spiking with frustration. “Okay, well, can you fix it? Book me another room?”
The woman winced. “I’m so sorry, but we’re completely booked out. Between your show and a large business conference in town, there’s nothing available.”
“Nothing?”
The receptionist shook her head. “Nothing.”
YN stared at her for a long moment, hoping that if she stood there long enough, a solution would magically present itself. When it didn’t, she let out a slow breath, trying to keep her voice calm. “Okay, then I’ll sleep on the tour bus,” she said finally, her tone clipped.
“I wouldn’t recommend that,” the receptionist replied, her voice filled with polite concern. “It’s not very safe overnight, and the temperatures are supposed to drop quite a bit.”
YN’s jaw clenched. She didn’t care about the temperature. She cared about not being stuck in a hotel room with Harry Styles for an entire night.
“You can take the bed,” Harry said suddenly, his voice low and casual.
She whipped around to look at him, her exhaustion briefly replaced by irritation. “Excuse me?”
“You can take the bed,” he repeated, his hands shoved into the pockets of his trousers. He didn’t look tired like she did; if anything, he looked almost amused. “I’ll take the couch. Problem solved.”
His eyebrows lifted, but he didn’t continue the way she half-expected him to. He acknowledged her silence with a shrug. “Suit yourself.”
YN turned back to the receptionist, her last shred of hope dying as the woman gave her a small, helpless smile.
“I really am sorry,” the receptionist said.
“Yeah,” She muttered, grabbing her room key off the counter. “Me too.”
The elevator ride to their shared room was suffocating.
She stood with her arms crossed, leaning against the back wall, her eyes fixed on the digital floor numbers ticking upward. He stood on the opposite side, his hands still in his pockets, his gaze fixed somewhere over her shoulder.
She could feel the tension between them, thick and heavy, like it had been building all day.
When the elevator dinged and the doors slid open, she practically bolted into the hallway, her shoes squeaking slightly against the polished floor as she found their room and slid the keycard into the lock.
The room was small but clean, decorated in the same neutral tones as the lobby. There was one queen-sized bed, a narrow couch by the window, and a small desk tucked into the corner.
YN set her bag down near the door, letting out a long breath. This was going to be a long night.
Harry stepped in behind her, the door clicking shut softly as he took in the room. “Well,” he said after a beat, his voice laced with dry humor. “Cozy.”
YN shot him a glare over her shoulder. “Don’t start.”
“I didn’t do anything,” he replied, raising his hands in mock innocence.
She rolled her eyes, grabbing her carry-on and unzipping it with more force than necessary. She pulled out her pajamas and stalked toward the bathroom, muttering under her breath.
“You’re welcome to take the bed!” Harry called after her.
She didn’t reply, only slamming the bathroom door behind her.
Inside, she leaned against the sink, gripping the edge tightly as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was a mess under her hat, her face flushed with irritation and exhaustion.
This was the last thing she needed.
She splashed cold water on her face, changed into her pajamas, and forced herself to take a deep breath before stepping back out into the room.
Harry was already sprawled out on the couch, his long legs dangling off one end, one arm draped lazily over his eyes. He looked too comfortable, like he wasn’t even remotely fazed by the situation.
“Goodnight, YN.” he smiled, his voice soft and teasing, muffled by his arm.
She didn’t bother replying, instead climbing into the bed and yanked the blanket up to her chin. She rolled onto her side, facing the wall, her back to him.
But even as she lay there in the dark, her body exhausted and her mind racing, she couldn’t ignore the steady sound of his breathing filling the room.
And somehow, that made sleep feel even further away.
The night dragged on like a bad song on repeat.
YN tossed and turned, the sheets tangling around her legs no matter how many times she tried to straighten them. The bed itself wasn’t the problem—it was soft enough, even if the pillows were too firm. The issue was the room. Or rather, the person in the room.
Harry’s breathing was steady and slow, almost annoyingly calm, like he had drifted off with zero trouble. The faint rustle of the blanket he’d pulled off the back of the couch only made it worse. She hated knowing he was just a few feet away, as oblivious and infuriating in sleep as he was awake.
Every time she closed her eyes, she could feel the weight of him in the room, like his presence was something tangible pressing against her skin. She could picture him sprawled out on the narrow couch, too long for it, his hair a wild mess against the pillow. He had to be uncomfortable, but of course, he made even that look effortless.
She clenched her teeth and turned over again, dragging the blanket over her head.
She must have fallen asleep at some point, because the next thing she knew, pale sunlight was streaming through the thin hotel curtains, casting faint patterns on the wall. The sound of movement drew her attention, and she rolled onto her back, blinking against the light.
Harry was already up.
He stood near the desk, pulling a fresh shirt over his head, the muscles in his back shifting under smooth skin. His hair stuck up in every direction, and there was a faint red line on his cheek, probably from the couch pillow.
YN groaned softly, her voice gravelly from sleep, and sat up.
He turned at the sound, his eyes catching hers for a split second before he gave her a lopsided smile. “Morning,” he rasped, voice low and rough.
She ignored the strange flutter in her chest and instead rubbed at her face, her palms digging into her eyes. “What time is it?”
“Just past seven,” Harry replied, glancing at his watch.
“Why are you up so early?” she asked, her voice still heavy with sleep.
“Couldn’t stay on that couch any longer,” he said with a shrug, running a hand through his hair. “Figured I’d let you sleep.”
She raised an eyebrow, more suspicious than grateful. “How thoughtful of you.”
Harry smirked, leaning against the desk. “I’m full of surprises.”
YN swung her legs over the side of the bed, the cool floor against her bare feet waking her up a little more. She glanced at the couch, the blanket crumpled in a heap at one end, and felt the tiniest pang of guilt. He might be irritating, but even she had to admit that couch looked like hell.
“Did you even sleep?” she asked, her voice softer now.
“Enough,” he said, brushing it off with a shrug. “You?”
She hesitated. She wanted to lie, to tell him she’d slept like a rock just to avoid giving him the satisfaction. But she was too tired to keep up the pretense. “Barely,” she muttered, running a hand through her hair.
Harry didn’t say anything, but his smirk softened into something else, something almost understanding. “We’ve got a couple hours before soundcheck,” he said after a beat, pushing off the desk. “I’ll grab coffee if y’want.”
She blinked at him, caught off guard by the offer.
“You’re being weirdly nice this morning,” she drawled, narrowing her eyes.
Harry grinned, all teeth. “Don’t get used to it.”
Before she could respond, he slipped out the door, leaving her sitting there in the quiet room, her heart beating just a little faster than it should have been.
When Harry returned twenty minutes later, carrying two steaming cups of coffee and a bag of pastries from the shop across the street, YN couldn’t bring herself to be annoyed.
But she didn’t thank him either.
She wasn’t sure why, but the tension between them felt different in the light of day. Lighter. Less suffocating. Still there, sure, but not as sharp.
She sipped her coffee in silence, watching as Harry lounged on the edge of the bed, scrolling lazily through his phone.
By ten that morning, they were at the Ryman.
The iconic auditorium was a cathedral of music, its wooden pews and high ceilings steeped in history. YN had played a lot of venues over the years, but this one felt different. Sacred, almost.
The crew was already bustling around the stage, running cables and testing equipment as the band took their places for a quick run-through. She strapped on her guitar and adjusted the amp settings, the familiarity of the process grounding her.
“Alright,” the stage manager called, his voice echoing in the empty hall. “Let’s run it from Carolina. Just a quick one, then you’re free for the day.”
Harry stepped up to the mic, giving a thumbs-up to the techs at the soundboard. His voice rang out clear and confident, slipping into the song like it was second nature.
YN played her part without thinking, her fingers moving easily over the strings. But she couldn’t help noticing the way Harry was watching her again.
It wasn’t as obvious as before—just the occasional glance, fleeting but deliberate, like he was checking her reaction to something she couldn’t quite place.
Her stomach twisted. She didn’t know if it was frustration or something else entirely.
They wrapped up soundcheck in record time, the stage manager dismissing them with a wave of his clipboard.
“Alright, folks. Enjoy your free day. Don’t get into too much trouble.”
The band dispersed quickly, everyone eager to make the most of the rare downtime. Sarah and Mitch mentioned something about finding a good barbecue spot, and within minutes, YN found herself standing outside the Ryman, squinting in the bright Tennessee sun.
She was about to head back toward the hotel when Harry’s voice stopped her.
“Hey, Hendrix.”
She turned to see him leaning against the tour bus, his sunglasses perched on his nose. She hummed in response, holding her hand above her eyes to shield the sun.
He grinned, his voice light and teasing. “You’re not gonna spend the whole day in the room, are you?”
“What’s it to you?”
“Nothing,” he said with a shrug, pushing off the bus. “Just thought you might want to come along.”
“Come along where?”
He slipped his hands into his pockets, tilting his head in that infuriatingly casual way he had. “I was thinking about exploring. But if you’d rather sulk in the hotel…”
She glared at him, her irritation mixing with reluctant curiosity. “I’m not sulking,” she muttered.
“Prove it.” His grin widened.
She sighed, weighing her options. She could spend the rest of the day alone, aimlessly wandering the city, or… she could let Harry drag her into whatever chaos he had planned.
Against her better judgment, she took a step closer.
“Fine.” she grumbled. “But if you annoy me, I’m leaving.”
Harry laughed, a warm sound that somehow made her chest feel lighter. ���Deal.”
As they made their way through the streets of Nashville, YN couldn’t help but notice how easy it was to fall into step with him.
They wandered through the heart of downtown, the air thick with the sound of live music spilling out of honky-tonk bars and the faint smell of fried food. He seemed relaxed, his usual sharp edges dulled by the easy rhythm of the day.
They ducked into a record store, where Harry spent an obscene amount of time flipping through vinyls, offering commentary on the cover art of each one.
“Look at this,” he said, holding up a copy of Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours. He grinned at her, and for once, it felt less like a challenge and more like… something else.
YN raised an eyebrow as she glanced at the album he held up, the iconic cover staring back at her. “What about it?” she asked, folding her arms and leaning against the edge of the nearest display.
Harry’s grin shifted, softer now, almost boyish. “It’s a masterpiece. Don’t tell me you’ve never given it a proper listen.”
She rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a small smirk. “Of course I’ve listened to it. Who hasn’t? Don’t go acting like you’ve discovered fire.”
“Ah, but have you really listened to it?” He stepped closer, tilting his head as he studied her expression like it might hold the answer. “Like, lying on the floor, headphones on, letting it ruin your entire mood?”
“That sounds unnecessarily dramatic.”
“Dramatic? YN, this album is a rite of passage. The Chain? That bassline alone deserves its own religion.”
She couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her, a quick, genuine sound that caught her off guard as much as it did him. “You’re ridiculous,” she muttered, shaking her head.
He looked pleased with himself, his grin stretching wider. “I’ll take that as a yes, then.”
“Take it however you want,” she shot back, moving past him to inspect a crate of blues records. Her fingers skimmed over the edges of the albums, her pulse oddly steady in the low hum of his company.
Harry hovered near, occasionally picking up a record and commenting on it. “You’re quiet,” he noted after a few minutes, his tone lighter than she’d expected.
“Just... looking,” she replied, hoping the words sounded casual enough.
“Looking for anything in particular?”
“No.” The lie came easily.
He didn’t press, and for once, she appreciated his silence. It gave her room to breathe, to figure out why the usual tension between them felt... different today. Lighter, maybe. Or maybe she was just imagining things.
After a moment, he spoke again, his voice quieter this time. “I like this, you know.”
She glanced up, caught off guard by the uncharacteristic sincerity in his tone. “Like what?”
“This.” He gestured between them, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. “Hanging out. You’re tolerable when y’not glaring at me.”
She blinked, unsure whether to laugh or scowl. “That’s your idea of a compliment?”
“Take it or leave it,” he said, his smirk returning but not fully masking the warmth behind it.
She rolled her eyes again but didn’t look away, and for a brief moment, the air between them shifted. The faint tension that always seemed to linger was still there, but it wasn’t sharp or heavy. It was something else entirely.
As the afternoon wore on, the tension that had been brewing between them seemed to fade, replaced by something quieter.
They grabbed lunch at a hole-in-the-wall diner Harry insisted on, where they shared a plate of fries and argued over whether ketchup or mayo was the superior dipping sauce.
“Ketchup,” YN said, dipping another fry.
Harry shook his head, mock disappointment written all over his face. “I expected better from you.”
She rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of her.
By the time they made their way back to the hotel, the sun was sinking low, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink. She felt lighter, like the weight of the past few days had lifted, if only for a little while.
As they reached the elevator, Harry glanced at her, his expression softer than she’d ever seen it.
“Thanks for coming along,” his voice was quiet but sincere.
She hesitated, surprised by the sudden vulnerability in his tone. “Yeah, well… it was better than sulking.”
He smiled.
The hotel room was quiet, the kind of stillness that settled into your bones and made you feel the weight of the day. After their spontaneous exploration of Nashville, she had parted ways with Harry in the hallway. He mentioned something about meeting up with Mitch, tossing her a casual, “See you later,” before disappearing down the corridor.
YN had nodded but hadn’t said much else. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or annoyed that he was leaving for the night.
After a long shower, she tugged on an oversized band tee—some faded thing she’d thrifted years ago—and a pair of soft cotton shorts. Her damp hair clung to her shoulders as she padded barefoot around the room, her phone in one hand as she scrolled through texts from her family.
Dad: Don’t forget to drink water. You sound so busy. Call us when you have time.
Younger sibling: lol saw a vid of harry styles crowd at your show. how’s that going???
She smiled faintly at the last one, shaking her head as she typed a quick response.
It wasn’t until she’d tossed her phone onto the bedside table that she remembered the little stash she’d hidden away.
She opened her suitcase, digging past neatly folded shirts and random cables until her fingers brushed against an emptied bag-balm tin, where she hid a pre-roll. She grinned to herself, pulling it out along with the battered cherry red lighter she always kept with it.
YN grabbed her guitar and wandered to the deep window sill, settling into it like a cat in the sun. She pushed the window all the way up, the night air warm against her skin as it rushed into the room. Nashville stretched out before her, the faint glow of the city lights mixing with the distant hum of passing cars.
She tucked the joint between her lips, the flame of the lighter flickering as she lit the tip. She took a slow drag, letting the smoke curl through her lungs and settle into her chest before she exhaled out into the open air.
The buzz hit quickly, a soft warmth unfurling in her limbs. She leaned back against the window frame, her guitar resting comfortably on her lap as she started to strum.
The notes came easily, her fingers gliding over the strings as she played whatever came to mind. A soft, haunting melody took shape. She kept her voice low, just above a whisper, the lyrics spilling from her lips like they were meant for the quiet night.
Spent my days with a woman unkind, smoked my stuff and drank all my wine
The joint hung from her lips as she sang, her voice airy and unpolished, but easy.
Made up my mind to make a new start, going to California with an aching in my heart 
She was so lost in the song, the feel of the strings beneath her fingers, that she didn’t hear the door open.
Harry stepped inside, the door clicking shut softly behind him. He paused, his eyes catching on the scene in front of him—the open window, YN perched on the sill with her guitar, the smoke from the joint curling lazily in the dim light.
She didn’t notice him at first, too wrapped up in the song. Her voice was soft and raw, carrying just enough emotion to make the lyrics hit harder than they should have.
Seems that the wrath of the gods got a punch in the nose and it’s starting to flow—think i might be sinking.
Harry stayed where he was, leaning against the wall near the door, arms crossed as he listened. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t announce himself right away. Maybe it was the way she seemed so unguarded, so lost in her own little world. It felt wrong to interrupt.
Her fingers lingered on the last note of the song, letting it fade softly into the warm night air. She leaned her head back against the window frame, the faint hum of the guitar strings still vibrating against her skin.
The room was quiet now, the only sound the distant buzz of traffic outside. She thought she was alone—until a flicker of movement caught her eye.
Her head snapped up to see Harry stepping closer, his strides slow and deliberate. He didn’t say anything, didn’t smirk or crack one of his usual jokes. He just moved, quiet and assured, until he stopped by the desk next to the window.
He sank into the chair with a soft creak, still close enough that YN could feel the heat of his presence.
Her heart stuttered, but she didn’t acknowledge him outright. Not yet.
Instead, she glanced at him briefly, her eyes meeting his for a fraction of a second before returning to the guitar in her lap. Her fingers idly plucked at the strings, pulling out a soft, wandering melody—not another song, just sound to fill the silence.
Harry stayed quiet, leaning back in the chair as his gaze followed the slow, practiced movements of her hands.
When she paused, fingers hovering over the frets, the faint smell of smoke still curling in the air, Harry’s attention shifted.
Without a word, he reached for the joint resting between her fingers near the neck of the guitar. His movements were smooth, casual, like he’d done it a hundred times before.
YN didn’t stop him, but her lips parted slightly in surprise, her pulse quickening as his hand brushed against hers.
He brought it to his lips, the faint ember at the tip flaring as he inhaled. The smoke curled lazily between them, filling the small space with a warmth that felt heavier than the fading summer air outside.
She watched him, her fingers still resting lightly on the strings, the unfinished melody hanging between them.
He exhaled slowly, his gaze flicking back to hers as the smoke dissipated into the room. For a moment, neither of them said anything.
The quiet wasn’t uncomfortable—it was something else. Something charged, like the tension from the last few days had found a new way to manifest itself.
YN finally broke the silence, her voice low and rough. “Didn’t realize you smoked.”
Harry’s lips curved into a faint smile, the kind that didn’t give anything away. “Didn’t realize you played Zeppelin.”
Her eyes narrowed slightly, her lips twitching as she fought the urge to smile back.
“Don’t stop playing,” he murmured, leaning back in the chair and tipping his head toward the window.
YN hesitated for a moment, her gaze lingering on him before she shifted the guitar back into place.
She didn’t play for him. Not really. But as the quiet notes filled the room again, she couldn’t help but notice how close he was, how the faint smell of smoke and something distinctly Harry seemed to blur the edges of everything else.
The melody was unmistakable, a classic she knew by heart. Slow, deliberate, and wordless, the tune drifted into the still night air. She tilted slightly, fingers brushing over the strings with a lightness that made it feel effortless.
Harry stayed in the chair by the desk, close enough that she could feel the weight of his presence but far enough that he seemed content to linger in the space between them.
He didn’t say anything. Didn’t interrupt.
His eyes flickered between her and the view outside, where the skyline blinked faintly in the distance. He seemed lost in thought, the faint haze of smoke from the joint twisting lazily around him.
The rhythm of her playing was slow, hypnotic, like it had seeped straight from her fingertips into the quiet air. She didn’t look at him directly, but she could feel his attention, even when it wasn’t on her.
When the joint burned low between his fingers, Harry leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he turned toward her. He lifted it to her lips, careful not to disrupt her playing, his movements casual but precise.
YN paused for just a fraction of a second, caught off guard by the gesture, but she let it happen. Her lips closed around it, inhaling deeply as her fingers continued their soft rhythm across the strings.
He stayed there for a moment, watching her before leaning back in the chair and taking the joint back between his own lips.
The smoke lingered between them, faint and warm, curling like an unspoken connection.
The song continued—soft, wistful, and unhurried. Her focus shifted to the melody, letting it guide her as Harry flicked his gaze between her hands, her face, and the view beyond the window.
Every so often, he’d lean forward again, passing the joint to her silently, his movements slow and patient. It felt strangely intimate, the quiet exchange, the way their hands brushed in the dim light.
Neither of them spoke, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. It was heavy, yes, but not with tension. It felt… deliberate.
When YN finally let the last note of the song fade into the air, her hands stilled on the guitar.
He didn’t say anything right away. He leaned back in the chair, the joint burning low between his fingers as his gaze lingered on her for just a moment too long.
“You should do that more often,” he said softly, his voice rough around the edges.
She raised an eyebrow, her lips curving into the faintest smirk. “Play Floyd?”
“Play anything,” he replied, taking one last drag before stubbing the joint out on the edge of the ashtray she’d left by the window. “Or keep me guessing.”
YN shifted the guitar off her lap, leaning it gently against the window sill. She crossed her arms, the soft night air brushing against her bare legs as she glanced at Harry. “It’s my job to play for you, Harry.”
His head tipped slightly, his green eyes narrowing as he considered her. “That why y’were playing now?”
She scoffed, leaning her shoulder against the window frame. “No. But it’s why I’m here, isn’t it? To play what you want to hear. To make your shows sound good.”
Harry didn’t react immediately. He stayed leaned back in the chair, the now-extinguished joint resting in the ashtray beside him. When he finally spoke, his voice was calm, almost lazy.
“You think that’s all you’re here for?”
“That’s what it feels like sometimes,” she muttered, her words laced with the kind of honesty she didn’t usually let herself share. “You’ve got everything planned, Harry. The look, the sound, the crowd. You don’t need me.”
His lips curved into a faint, humorless smile. “If I didn’t need you, you wouldn’t be here.”
YN frowned, tilting her head. “Is that supposed to make me feel better? Like I’m just another piece of the machine?”
Harry leaned forward then, his elbows resting on his knees as he met her gaze. The air between them felt heavier now, his next words slow and pointed. “You’re not just a piece. And you know it.”
For a moment, she didn’t know how to respond. She hated the way her pulse quickened under his stare, the way his voice—low and rough—seemed to wrap around her like smoke.
She turned her head slightly, looking out at the view instead of him. “You don’t act like it,” she mumbled.
He let out a low laugh, though there was no humor in it. “And how do I act, YN? Enlighten me.”
She hesitated, then turned back to face him, her arms still crossed over her chest. “You act like I’m just… there. Like you can turn me on and off when it suits you. Like I don’t matter unless I’m standing on stage next to you.”
His jaw tightened, his gaze never wavering from hers. “That’s not true.”
It was.
“Could’ve fooled me.”
The silence that followed felt like it stretched forever. The only sound was the faint hum of traffic outside and the soft creak of the chair as Harry shifted his weight.
“You think I don’t notice you?” he said finally, his voice quieter now but no less intense.
She blinked, caught off guard by the question. “What?”
Harry stood then, closing the distance between them in just a stride. He stopped just shy of the window, leaning one hand against the frame as he looked at her.
“You think I don’t notice you,” he repeated, his voice steady, almost accusing. “Every time you play, every time you step on that stage. Every time you look at me like you’re trying to figure out if I’m about to push you away again.”
YN swallowed hard, her throat suddenly dry. “You don’t notice anything,” she said, though the words came out weaker than she intended.
His gaze dropped to her lips for the briefest moment before snapping back to her eyes. “I notice everything,” he countered softly.
Her breath hitched, and she hated the way it made her feel like she was on uneven ground. “Then why do you act like this? Why do you make it so hard?”
“Because y’make it hard,” he shot back, his voice low but sharp. “You shut me out before I even get the chance to try.”
YN laughed then, a hollow, bitter sound. “You’ve never tried, Harry.”
“And you’ve never let me.” he said, the words falling between them like a challenge.
The weight of his stare was suffocating, and for a moment, YN didn’t know what to say. She could feel the tension crackling between them, thicker now, more volatile.
“Bullshit.” She turned back to the window, her voice softer when she spoke again. “This is pointless.”
Harry didn’t move, his hand still resting on the window frame as his eyes lingered on her.
“Maybe,” he said quietly. “But it doesn’t mean it’s not real.”
YN closed her eyes, letting his words hang in the air as the night wrapped around them. Neither of them said anything else, but the silence spoke louder than anything they could’ve said.
The morning came earlier than YN wanted it to. She’d barely slept, the weight of the night before hanging over her like a low fog.
The room was quiet when she woke, the faint hum of the air conditioning filling the stillness. Harry’s side of the room was empty, the crumpled blanket on the sofa the only sign he’d stayed at all.
YN sat up slowly, rubbing the heel of her hand against her eyes as the memory of their conversation came rushing back. She didn’t know if she regretted it—what they’d said, what they hadn’t said—but she knew it had left her chest feeling heavier than it had in weeks.
She glanced at the clock. They had a longer rehearsal today, prepping for the Ryman show tomorrow. If she didn’t hurry, she’d risk being late.
With a groan, she threw off the covers and got ready, pulling on a worn pair of jeans and a t-shirt before stuffing her guitar into its case and heading out the door.
The venue was already buzzing with activity when she arrived. The crew was setting up the stage, the hum of amps and feedback filling the auditorium as the band trickled in one by one. Mitch and Sarah were already there, chatting quietly by the drum kit, while Harry stood near the mic stand, flipping through a setlist with their tour manager.
YN felt his presence before she saw him, the memory of his words from the night before still fresh in her mind.
Maybe. But it doesn’t mean it’s not real.
She swallowed hard, forcing herself to push the thought aside as she made her way to her usual spot on the stage.
“Morning,” Mitch gave her a small smile.
“Morning,” she replied, setting her guitar case down and pulling out the instrument.
Harry didn’t say anything as she arrived, but she could feel his gaze flicker toward her for a brief moment before he turned his attention back to the stage manager.
Rehearsal started slow.
The band worked their way through the setlist, adjusting transitions, tightening harmonies, and fine-tuning every detail until the songs sounded like they could fill the Ryman’s historic walls without effort.
YN tried to focus, but it was harder than usual. Harry’s voice was everywhere—smooth and commanding, sharp and playful, depending on the song. His presence filled the room, making it impossible to ignore him no matter how much she tried.
But he didn’t speak to her directly. Not once.
It was infuriating, the way he could act like nothing had happened. Like they hadn’t spent the night before saying things that neither of them had the courage to finish.
The longer the rehearsal went, the more it started to gnaw at her. By the time they reached Ever Since New York, her patience was wearing thin.
“Hold on,” Harry said, waving a hand as the band finished the first chorus. He turned to Mitch. “That transition’s still too rushed. Can we stretch it out a little more?”
Mitch nodded, already adjusting his guitar.
She sighed quietly, her fingers hovering over the frets as she tried not to let her irritation show.
“Something wrong?” He asked suddenly, his voice cutting through the space like a blade.
Her head snapped up, her eyes narrowing at him. “No.”
“Sure about that?” he asked, his tone light but his gaze sharp.
She stared at him for a moment, her chest tightening with frustration. “Just play the song, Harry.”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Alright. Again.”
By the time rehearsal wrapped, YN was drained. Her fingers ached from hours of playing, and her chest felt heavy with the weight of unspoken words.
As the crew began packing up, she slung her guitar over her shoulder and made her way toward the back of the stage, desperate for a moment alone.
But before she could disappear, Harry’s voice stopped her.
“Hey! YN.”
Her grip on her guitar strap tightened as she turned to face him, the tension between them sharp enough to cut. He was standing near the edge of the stage, his expression carefully unreadable, though his shoulders were tense. “What?” she asked, her voice curt, already bracing herself.
He hesitated, just for a moment, then tilted his head slightly, his gaze flicking over her like he was trying to figure out how to start. “About last night.”
Her jaw tightened. She hadn’t wanted to think about last night—how raw it had felt, how vulnerable she’d let herself be for even a second. She’d been trying to shove it to the back of her mind all day. “What about it?” she said flatly, her tone leaving no room for softness.
Harry’s lips pressed into a thin line, and when he spoke again, his voice was lower, quieter, but it still held an edge. “You meant what y’said, didn’t you?”
She blinked at him, caught off guard. “What are you talking about?”
“You think I don’t notice you,” he mumbled, his words more a statement than a question.
Her stomach churned, but she forced herself to keep her expression steady. “I don’t know why you care.”
“Because I do,” he shot back, his voice sharpening, though he still kept it low enough that no one else could hear. “And don’t act like you don’t, either.”
Her chest tightened at the accusation, but she refused to let it show. “You’ve got a funny way of showing it,” she said coldly, crossing her arms.
His jaw ticked, and he took a small step closer. “You think this is easy? Working with you? Being around you?”
She scoffed, the sound bitter in her throat. “Right. Because you’re so perfect to deal with, Harry.”
His eyes narrowed, the frustration clear now. “You act like I don’t care, but you’re the one who’s been pushing me out since the start.”
Her breath caught, and for a second, she wasn’t sure if it was anger or something else flaring in her chest. “Because you make it impossible,” she snapped, a whisper. “You walk around like the world revolves around you, and you expect everyone to just fall in line.”
“I don’t expect anything from you, YN,” he said, his voice sharp, almost defensive. “Except maybe to stop pretending like none of this matters t’you.”
Her heart thudded against her ribs, the words cutting deeper than she wanted to admit. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means,” Harry paused, his voice quieter now but no less intense, “you’ve made it pretty damn clear you’d rather be anywhere else than here—with me, with this band. So don’t act like I’m the one who doesn’t give a shit.”
YN stared at him, her chest heaving, her hands trembling at her sides. She wanted to throw something at him, wanted to shout, but the anger in her throat felt too tangled with something else—something raw and uncertain.
Before she could think of a response, Harry shook his head, his lips curling into a bitter half-smile. “Forget it,” he muttered, turning on his heel.
He stalked off the stage without looking back, his steps echoing in the empty auditorium.
YN stayed frozen where she was, her pulse pounding in her ears as his words replayed over and over again in her mind.
She hated that he was wrong.
And she hated even more that he wasn’t entirely right.
The 25th came fast, bringing with it the weight of a sold-out show at the Ryman Auditorium. YN felt it the moment she woke up—the low hum of tension in her chest, the kind that came from knowing she was about to step onto one of the most iconic stages in music history.
She moved through the day on autopilot, her interactions with the crew and band kept short and polite. She didn’t have it in her to do more, not after yesterday’s rehearsal, not after the argument with Harry that still lingered like a bruise.
By the time the sun dipped low over Nashville, casting long shadows across the city, the energy backstage was crackling with anticipation.
The band gathered in the wings as the crew finished final checks. She adjusted the strap of her guitar, her fingers tightening and loosening around the neck in a rhythm she didn’t realize she was keeping.
Harry stood a few feet away, his presence as inescapable as ever. He was wearing a dark, tailored suit with just enough sparkle to catch the light, his shirt unbuttoned halfway down his chest. His hair was tousled in that perfectly imperfect way that she hated to admit suited him.
He hadn’t spoken to her since yesterday. Not directly. And she hadn’t gone out of her way to fix that.
“Alright, everyone ready?” the stage manager called, clipboard in hand.
The band nodded, one by one. Harry turned to them, his usual grin firmly in place, but there was a flicker of something else in his eyes when his gaze landed on YN.
“All good?” he asked, his tone light but pointed, like he was challenging her.
She held his stare, refusing to let him see the nerves twisting in her chest. “Good.”
Harry’s smirk softened, but he didn’t push it. “Let’s do this, then,” he said, turning back toward the stage as the house lights dimmed.
The roar of the crowd was deafening, a wall of sound that hit YN square in the chest as they stepped onto the stage.
The show opened strong, the band locking into the rhythm like clockwork. The crowd was electric, their cheers and screams filling every corner of the Ryman as Harry worked the stage, his voice weaving effortlessly through the music.
She focused on her playing, her fingers moving over the strings with practiced precision. She kept her eyes on the crowd, on Mitch, on the neck of her guitar—anywhere but Harry.
But it didn’t matter. She could feel him, his presence pulling at her like a tide no matter how hard she tried to resist.
It was during Woman that the tension finally cracked.
The song had always been a crowd favorite, its sultry rhythm and teasing lyrics sending the audience into a frenzy. Tonight was no different.
Harry prowled the stage, the mic in one hand, his free hand gesturing to the crowd as they screamed the words back to him.
And then, without warning, his gaze found hers.
—I told you but I know you’d never listen.
YN’s fingers faltered for the briefest moment, the wrong note slipping out before she corrected herself.
He smirked, slow and all-knowing, because he did. He knew what he was doing.
He sang the chorus, his voice low and taunting as he turned to her fully, his body angled toward her now.
The crowd screamed, but they didn’t notice the way his eyes stayed locked on hers, sharp and unrelenting.
Her chest tightened, but she refused to look away. Instead, she matched his intensity with her playing, her fingers flying over the strings like she could drown him out with sheer force.
The song ended in a crescendo, the applause erupting like thunder. Harry grinned at the crowd, blowing kisses into the sea of adoring faces, but when he turned back to the band, his smirk softened into something more subtle.
YN ignored him, focusing instead on retuning her guitar for the next song. But her hands were trembling slightly, and she hated herself for it.
The rest of the show passed in a blur of music and adrenaline.
By the time they reached the encore, she felt both exhausted and wired, her body caught in that strange limbo that came after hours on stage.
She risked a glance at Harry, and for a moment, she thought she saw something in his expression that mirrored her own—a kind of quiet exhaustion, tinged with something unspoken.
But then he turned back to the crowd, his charm cranked up to full volume as he thanked them, his voice ringing out like a promise. “Goodnight, Nashville,” he said, his grin wide and infectious. “You’ve been incredible.”
The applause was deafening, the crowd chanting his name as the band took their final bow.
Backstage crew members moved in every direction, packing up equipment and shouting over the noise. The band had scattered, Mitch and Sarah disappearing into their dressing rooms while Harry lingered by the door, chatting with a few industry types who’d come to the show.
YN slipped past the commotion, her guitar case slung over her shoulder as she made her way to the dressing room she was sharing with Mitch.
But before she could reach the door, Harry’s voice stopped her.
She froze, her grip tightening on the strap of her guitar. She turned slowly, her expression carefully neutral.
Harry was leaning against the wall, his shirt damp with sweat, his hair sticking to his forehead. He looked tired but satisfied, his usual post-show glow dimmed by something quieter.
“Good show tonight,” he said, his tone casual but his eyes sharper than his words.
YN raised an eyebrow, her lips curving into a faint smirk. “You don’t have to tell me that.”
He huffed a quiet laugh, his smirk returning. “You’re impossible, you know that?”
“Yeah,” she said, turning back toward her dressing room. “Look in the mirror, Harry.” She didn’t wait for his response, didn’t look back as she pushed open the door and let it close behind her.
September 26th, Chicago Theatre
Chicago was cold, a brisk wind biting at the edges of everything, but the theater itself felt electric. The second show on this leg of the tour, and the crowd roared louder than even the Nashville audience had. YN had expected it—Chicago fans had a reputation—but it still sent a jolt through her chest every time the applause hit.
She’d kept her head down all day, avoiding Harry as much as possible after the tension-filled Ryman show. He hadn’t gone out of his way to talk to her either, which suited her just fine. The dynamic between them was still strained, but now it felt heavier, sharper, like a spring wound too tight.
On stage that night, they were professional, seamless even. The music flowed like second nature, and the crowd ate up every word Harry sang, every note the band played.
But Harry’s energy was different.
He stalked the stage like he had something to prove, his voice sharper, his movements purposeful. Every so often, his gaze would flicker toward her, his eyes dark under the stage lights, and her fingers would stumble, just for a second.
She hated that he could still affect her like that. Hated that her pulse quickened every time he looked at her like he was daring her to break.
When the show ended, she slipped out of the backstage chaos as quickly as she could, retreating to her dressing room before Harry could find her.
But she couldn’t escape the feeling that their fight wasn’t just simmering—it was boiling over, and it was only a matter of time before it all spilled out.
September 27th, New York City Music Hall
New York felt different, brighter somehow. The Music Hall was massive, its gold interiors glinting under the lights, the kind of place that made you feel like you were a part of something monumental just by standing inside it.
YN was buzzing, but not because of the show. Tonight, she’d finally made good on her promise to get her best friend in with VIP tickets.
Jude had shown up grinning from ear to ear, dragging along another friend, Sage, a boy she knew from a few mutual connections but hadn’t spent much time with. She didn’t mind—Sage was friendly, good-looking in that casual, effortless way, and Jude seemed thrilled to be there.
The show was flawless, a whirlwind of sound and energy that left the crowd screaming for more by the end of the encore. YN felt good, better than she had in days. Maybe it was Jude’s energy, or the thrill of being home in New York, or the fact that she’d managed to avoid Harry’s smirking glances on stage.
The energy backstage was lighter than usual, the post-show adrenaline mingling with the warmth of a half-empty box of beers someone had dragged in from a gas station. YN sat on a crate near the corner of the room, Jude and Sage perched close by, the three of them surrounded by the casual hum of conversation. Mitch was strumming idly on an unplugged guitar, Sarah was laughing with one of the techs, and the crew milled around, taking turns grabbing beers and tossing them to each other.
Harry sprawled in the cheap folding chair like it was a throne. His legs stretched out, boots crossed, beer bottle swaying loose between his fingers. He wore the smug indifference of someone who knew exactly how good he looked, from the sweat-mussed hair to the open collar of his shirt. A rock god slumming it in a room full of mortals.
Jude, of course, was eating it up, no matter how hard she tried not to. Her eyes kept drifting back, quick flickers like a moth circling a flame. YN could see the effort it took for her friend to focus on Sage, laughing a little too hard at his jokes, leaning just a bit too close. But the second Harry glanced their way, Jude’s attention snapped to him like a compass needle finding north.
“This is VIP treatment?” Sage asked, flashing one of his trademark grins. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, his bottle raised like a toast.
Jude latched onto the question, grateful for the distraction. “Welcome to the glamorous life of rock and roll,” she quipped, sweeping a hand around the dingy green room. Half-eaten takeout boxes, a broken amp shoved in the corner, and a stack of mismatched chairs that looked like they’d collapse if you breathed wrong.
“I’m not complaining,” Sage said, his smile lingering, his tone dipping lower. “Not if it means I get to see you.”
The words hung in the air just a second too long.
YN felt the heat crawl up her neck before she even realized it. She took a long sip of her beer, keeping her face neutral, trying to ignore the heavy stare boring into the side of her head. She didn’t have to look to know Harry was watching. She could feel it.
“Careful,” Harry drawled, finally breaking the silence. His voice was low, lazy, but there was an edge to it. “Say something like that, and you might get her hopes up.”
Sage blinked, caught off guard, then let out a short laugh, brushing it off. “I think she can handle it.”
“Oh, sure,” Harry said, leaning back further in his chair. He swirled the beer bottle idly, staring into the amber liquid like it held secrets. “Just don’t trip over yourself trying too hard. You’d hate to embarrass yourself in front of the talent.”
Jude stiffened beside YN. Sage’s easy smile faltered, but he recovered fast, glancing at YN with a grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Speaking of talent, you were incredible out there,” he said, his voice softer, directed at her now. “That solo in Woman? Gave me chills.”
YN opened her mouth to respond, but Harry beat her to it.
“Yeah, chills,” he echoed, not looking up from his bottle. “Or was it the AC in the venue finally kicking in? Hard t’tell.”
Sage chuckled, but it was tight. Forced. “I meant it,” he said, still talking to YN. “You’ve got something special. You know that, right?”
Harry made a sound low in his throat, almost a laugh. Not quite. “Special,” he repeated, like he was tasting the word and finding it bitter. “Special enough t’get you a free beer and a backstage pass. Quite the honor.”
Sage turned to him now, his posture shifting, more squared. “That’s not what I meant.”
Harry’s eyes finally lifted, locking onto Sage with a lazy sort of intensity. “No?”
The word hung there, sharp and cold, daring Sage to keep going.
YN set her bottle down harder than she meant to, the dull thunk slicing through the thick air. “Harry.”
“What?” he said, the picture of innocence, except for the smirk curling at the edge of his mouth.
Her jaw tightened. “Can I talk to you outside?”
Harry raised his eyebrows, playing dumb. “Outside?”
“Mm-hm.” She hummed sharply, pushing herself to her feet. “Now.”
He took his time standing, unfolding himself from the chair with the kind of slow, deliberate movements that made every second stretch out like taffy. His boots scraped against the floor as he stood, towering over her but pretending not to notice. “You sure y’don’t want to hash this out here? We’ve got an audience and everything. Could be fun.”
“Outside,” she repeated through gritted teeth.
Harry chuckled, low and infuriating. “Alright,” he breathed, gesturing toward the door like he was humoring her. “Lead the way.”
As she brushed past him, she caught a glimpse of Jude, wide-eyed and silent, clutching her bottle like it was the only thing keeping her grounded. Sage sat back, his jaw tight, his smile long gone.
Behind her, Harry followed, his footsteps slow and heavy, like he wanted her to know he wasn’t in any hurry. And as they stepped out into the cold, stale air of the hallway, she could still hear his laugh echoing softly, more to himself than anyone else.
That laugh made her want to scream.
The alley behind the Music Hall was quiet, the distant hum of city traffic echoing off the brick walls. The air was cool, a sharp contrast to the stuffy warmth of the backstage room. “What the hell was that?” she asked, spinning around to face him.
He took a slow sip of his beer, his eyes steady on hers. “What was what?”
“Don’t play dumb,” she snapped, her arms crossing over her chest. “All the comments. The interruptions. What’s your problem?”
Harry leaned against the wall, his head tilting slightly as he studied her. “No problem,” he said lightly. “Just thought I’d keep the conversation interesting.”
“Interesting?” she repeated, her voice rising. “You were being a dick, Harry.”
His smile faded slightly, his gaze narrowing. “Maybe I don’t like watching some guy who barely knows you act like he’s been waiting his whole life to kiss your ass.”
YN blinked, caught off guard by the bluntness of his words. “Are you serious?”
“You heard me,” he murmured, his voice quieter now, but no less intense.
She stared at him, her chest tightening with a mix of frustration and something she didn’t want to name. “Why do you even care?”
He pushed off the wall, stepping closer until there was barely a foot of space between them. His eyes locked on hers, unflinching. “I dunno.”
Her breath hitched, her pulse hammering against her ribs. “That’s not an answer.”
“S’the only one you’re getting.”
For a long moment, neither of them moved, the tension between them thick and crackling like static electricity.
She finally broke the silence, her voice quieter now but no less sharp. “You don’t get to pull this shit, Harry. Not after everything.”
He looked at her for a moment longer, something unreadable flashing in his eyes. Then he took a step back, his smile returning, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“Got it,” he said simply, turning toward the door.
She watched him go, her fists clenched at her sides, her heart pounding with anger—and something else she didn’t want to name.
She stayed in the alley long after Harry disappeared back inside. Her chest felt tight, her breathing uneven as she tried to process the exchange.
The words echoed in her mind, a sharp contrast to the smirk he’d worn when he walked away. She hated how he could get under her skin so easily, how his presence seemed to shift the air around her, how her anger at him never felt simple.
She leaned back against the cool brick wall, tilting her head up toward the night sky. The distant hum of traffic was a low comfort, a reminder of how big the world was outside of the theater, outside of him.
You don’t get to pull this shit, Harry.
But he had, and he would again. That much she was sure of.
Harry didn’t stay backstage for long. When he stepped back into the room, the energy was lighter without her there. Jude and Sage had moved on to laughing about something Mitch was saying, their voices rising over the clinking of bottles. Harry slipped past them with a nod, setting his empty beer bottle on the edge of a table.
“I’m heading out,” he said, his voice easy, casual, as if the last few minutes hadn’t happened.
Mitch looked up, raising an eyebrow. “You good?”
“Yeah,” Harry grumbled, running a hand through his hair. “Just tired. Think I’ll head back to the hotel.”
No one questioned him further. Harry had a way of ending conversations before they started, and tonight was no different.
YN finally pushed herself off the wall, shaking off the lingering tension as best she could. The night air had cooled her temper slightly, though the weight of her frustration still hung in her chest.
When she stepped back inside, the room felt just as loud as before, though the dynamic had shifted.
Jude waved her over immediately, her grin as bright as ever. “Hey! You okay?”
“Fine.”YN said, her voice clipped. She didn’t want to talk about what happened. Not now, not ever. “Where’s Harry?”
“Left a few minutes ago,” Mitch shrugged, strumming a lazy chord on the guitar he’d picked back up. “Said he was tired.”
YN’s stomach twisted, though she couldn’t pinpoint why.
“Good,” she muttered, grabbing a fresh beer from the nearly empty box. She twisted off the cap and took a long sip, letting the bitter taste settle her nerves.
Sage caught her eye, his grin still intact. “You alright?” he asked, leaning closer.
“I’m fine,” she said sharply, the edge in her voice enough to make him hold up his hands in surrender.
Jude gave her a look—something between concern and curiosity—but didn’t press further.
She leaned against the table, tuning out the chatter as the night dragged on. But no matter how hard she tried to focus on anything else, the memory of Harry’s words—and the look in his eyes when he said them—refused to leave her alone.
The night dissolved into a blur of laughter, music, and the bitter taste of cheap beer. YN had let herself go too far, her usual restraint eroded by the buzz in her veins and the way Sage kept leaning closer, his voice soft and insistent in her ear. She didn’t even remember how the drinks had piled up so quickly, only that by the time Mitch and Sarah coaxed her into leaving, the room was spinning, and her legs felt unsteady beneath her.
Her friends had already left, a whirlwind of hugs and goodbyes as they promised to text when they made it back to campus. She barely remembered waving them off. Her focus had narrowed to just putting one foot in front of the other, the alcohol turning everything fuzzy around the edges.
Mitch had one of her arms draped over his shoulder, Sarah steadying her other side as they guided her into the hotel.
“You’ve got to start drinking water at some point,” Mitch said, his tone amused but laced with concern.
“Water’s overrated,” YN mumbled, her voice slurred but determined.
Sarah snorted. “Tell that to your liver.”
They maneuvered her into the elevator, Sarah punching the button for their floor. The quiet hum of the ride did little to settle the nausea building in YN’s stomach.
“Alright, this is us,” Mitch said when the doors opened on their floor. He adjusted his grip on her arm, but she shook her head, pulling away clumsily.
“No, no, I’ve got it,” she insisted, stumbling forward and catching herself on the elevator wall.
“You sure?”
“Totally,” YN smiled, swaying slightly as she gave them a thumbs-up.
Mitch exchanged a look with Sarah, then sighed. “Okay, but if you fall over in the hallway, we’re not coming back down.”
“Love you guys,” She gave lopsided grin, blowing a haphazard kiss in their direction.
The walk to her room felt impossibly long. Her footsteps were uneven, and she clutched the wall for balance, the plush carpet doing little to steady her spinning head.
When she finally reached her door, she fumbled with the keycard, her hands clumsy and uncooperative. After several failed attempts, she groaned, leaning her forehead against the door in frustration.
But then her gaze shifted, and she realized something.
This wasn’t her room.
The gold numbers on the door were too low—she was on the wrong floor.
Harry’s room.
Her thoughts moved sluggishly, like she was trying to wade through molasses, but one thing became clear—she didn’t want to go back and figure it out. Not tonight.
Her fist hovered over the door for a moment, hesitation flickering in the back of her mind. She could just go back to the elevator, figure out her room, and collapse in her own bed.
But the alcohol dulled her better judgment, and she knocked before she could stop herself.
The door opened after a beat, and there he was.
Harry stood in the doorway, barefoot, loose sweatpants that hung low on his hips. His hair was messy, like he’d been lying down, and his eyes flicked over her with a mix of confusion and concern.
“YN?” His voice was low and rough with sleep.
“Hi.” She smiled, the word slurred and uneven.
He glanced down the hallway, then back at her. “You’re drunk.”
She hummed, nodding her head and leaning heavily against the doorframe.
Harry’s lips twitched, but he didn’t smile. “What are you doing here?”
“Dunno,” she pouted, blinking up at him. “I was trying to find my room, but…” She trailed off, waving a hand vaguely.
He sighed, stepping back and holding the door open wider. “Come in before someone calls security.”
The room was dim, lit only by a single lamp near the bed. She stumbled inside, kicking off her shoes and collapsing onto the armchair by the window.
Harry shut the door, leaning against it for a moment as he watched her.
“You alright?” he asked.
“Fantastic,” she mumbled, closing her eyes as the room spun around her.
“You do this often?” he asked dryly. “Stumbling drunk into the wrong room?”
“Not wrong,” she muttered, wagging a finger at him as she half-heartedly reached for the bottle of water on the table next to her. “I knew where I was going.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Sure you did.”
She squinted at him, her lips twitching like she was trying to suppress a laugh. “You’re awfully judgy for a guy wearing sweatpants with wine stains on them.”
Harry glanced down, frowning faintly at the faint red blotch near his knee. It could have been wine, those were old—not that’d he’d remember. But for arguments sake, “s’not wine.”
“Oh, I see,” She smirking as she leaned back in the chair. “Fancy rock star can’t even handle his grape juice.”
“That’s rich,” he shot back, his tone calm but pointed. “Coming from someone who can’t even find her own room.”
She narrowed her eyes at him, but her expression softened into something quieter as the room fell silent. The edges of her bravado dulled under the weight of the alcohol and exhaustion, and she ran a hand through her hair as her voice dropped.
“Why were you so mean to me?”
Harry stilled, the teasing edge slipping from his face.
“When?” he asked, though his tone made it clear he knew exactly what she was talking about.
“From the start,” she frowned, her words slurred but steady enough to cut. “You act like you don’t give a shit about me one minute, and then you—” She broke off, gesturing vaguely. “And then you pull this I notice everything bullshit.”
He didn’t respond right away. Instead, he uncrossed his arms and moved toward her slowly, his footsteps soft against the carpet.
“You should drink that,” he breathed, gesturing to the water bottle still sitting untouched on the table.
YN blinked at him, her frustration flaring again. “Don’t change the subject, Harry.”
“I’m not,” he said evenly, crouching down in front of her. His eyes met hers, steady but guarded, and he grabbed the water bottle, holding it out. “Drink.”
She stared at him for a long moment, her chest tight. “You’re annoying,” she muttered, taking the bottle from his hand.
“You’re welcome,” he replied, his tone soft but laced with the faintest hint of amusement.
She took a few sips, grimacing as the cool liquid hit her empty stomach. Her head swam, the alcohol making her limbs heavy and uncooperative.
Harry stood, watching her carefully. “Come on.” He whispered after a moment, holding out his hand.
She frowned, looking at it suspiciously. “What are you doing?”
“Helping you into bed,” he said simply, his voice calm as he wriggled his fingers.
“I’m fine here.”
“You’re not sleeping in a chair, YN.” He sighed, his tone firmer now. “Come on.”
With a groan, she let him pull her to her feet, though her legs buckled almost immediately.
He caught her around the waist, shaking his head. “I’m fine.” He mocked breathily, a faint smile tugging on his lips, but he stifled it.
He guided her to the bed, steadying her as she sat down heavily on the edge. She looked up at him, her expression softer now, the alcohol dulling the sharpness of her frustration.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
Harry leaned down ever so slightly, brushing her hair behind her shoulders, thumbing away some of the mascara that smudged her cheeks. “Get some sleep, YN.”
“You’re deflecting,” she pouted, though her voice was fading, her head already sinking toward the pillow.
Harry shifted, pulling the blanket over her as she curled onto her side.
“Goodnight.” His voice was low and unreadable.
Silence.
He frowned, taking a step back. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, although he knew she didn’t hear him. 
-
The tour bus hummed steadily as it sped toward Boston, the headlights slicing through the dark. It was well past midnight, and the world outside the window was nothing but a blur of shadows and the occasional glimmer of a passing car.
Everyone else was tucked away in their bunks, lulled to sleep by the gentle sway of the bus. The only sounds were the low murmur of the engine and the soft, absentminded strumming of an acoustic guitar.
YN sat curled up in the corner by the window, Mitch’s guitar resting on her lap. Her fingers moved lightly over the strings, coaxing out a quiet, meandering tune—nothing specific, just something to keep her hands busy. She stared out at the dark highway, the faint glow of her reflection in the glass blending with the streaks of passing lights.
Across the room, Harry sat at the small table, his laptop open in front of him. His shorts were bright pink, shirt faded and worn, hair messy and falling into his eyes. His fingers tapped softly on the keys, the blue glow of the screen reflecting off his rings.
For a while, neither of them said anything. The silence wasn’t tense exactly, but it wasn’t comfortable either. It felt like it had been stretched thin, like something fragile that might break if either of them pressed too hard.
She plucked a few more strings, then let the sound fade, her gaze flicking briefly toward Harry. “You don’t sleep, do you?” she asked, her voice soft but not without its usual bite.
He didn’t look up, his fingers still moving across the keyboard. “Not much.” he replied evenly.
“What are you even working on?” she murmured, shifting slightly in her seat to get a better view.
“Emails,” he breathed, glancing at her briefly before turning back to the screen. “Tour stuff.”
YN smiled faintly, her fingers returning to the guitar. “Rock star by day, admin assistant by night?”
Harry’s lips twitched, but he didn’t smile. “Someone’s gotta do it.”
She let out a low hum, her fingers drifting into a soft riff, the notes barely audible over the hum of the bus.
“Is that Mitch’s?” Harry asked after a moment, nodding toward the guitar.
“Yeah.” She brushed her thumb lightly over the strings. “He left it out earlier. Figured he wouldn’t mind.”
He leaned back in his chair, pushing the laptop back slightly. ��He doesn’t. Just doesn’t usually let anyone play it.”
YN raised an eyebrow, glancing at him. “You saying I’m special?”
He huffed a quiet laugh, finally meeting her gaze. “Hardly.”
She rolled her eyes, her lips curving into a small, reluctant smile. “You’re such an ass.”
“Look in a mirror.” He smiled, echoing her words from days before, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table.
For a while, the silence returned, but it felt slightly less brittle this time. YN continued strumming, the quiet notes blending with the steady rhythm of the bus.
“You’re good.” Harry said eventually, his voice softer now. 
YN looked at him, surprised by the unexpected compliment. “Don’t sound so shocked.”
He let out a breathy laugh through his nose, leaning back again. “Just noticing, petal.”
Her chest tightened at the word, but she quickly shoved the feeling aside, focusing on the guitar.
“You’re not so bad yourself.” She shrugged, her tone casual but laced with a challenge.
Harry tilted his head slightly, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. “That a compliment?”
“Don’t let it go to your head. It’s big enough.”
He chuckled, the sound low and warm, and for a brief moment, the tension between them eased.
But then her fingers stilled on the strings, her gaze drifting back to the window. The reflection of the two of them in the glass felt surreal, like something out of a dream she wasn’t sure she wanted to wake from.
“Why were you up last night?” she asked suddenly, her voice quieter now, almost hesitant.
Harry’s smirk faded, his expression shifting into something more guarded. “Didn’t feel like sleeping,”
“That’s not what I meant,” she countered, turning to face him fully. “You didn’t have to let me in. Could’ve just shut the door and gone back to bed.”
Harry didn’t respond right away. His gaze flickered to her hands, still resting lightly on the guitar, before meeting her eyes again. “Didn’t seem like you wanted to be alone.”
YN’s throat tightened, and she looked away, her fingers brushing over the strings again. “I didn’t ask for your help.”
“I know.” he said simply.
The quiet between them stretched, heavy and filled with things neither of them seemed willing to say.
YN strummed a few more notes, her movements slower now, more deliberate. She didn’t look at him, but she could feel his eyes on her, steady and unrelenting.
“Go to bed, Harry,” she sighed eventually, her voice soft but firm.
“Not tired, YN.” There was no edge to the words.
She sighed, leaning her head back against the window as her fingers stilled on the guitar. “You will be tomorrow.”
“Guess I’ll take my chances.”
She glanced at him, her chest tightening at the faint smile playing on his lips. She wanted to say something, wanted to break the strange tension hanging between them, but the words caught in her throat.
So she said nothing, letting the silence settle again as the bus rumbled on through the night.
September 30th, Boston
The air backstage at the Wang Theatre was thick with anticipation. YN sat in the corner of the green room, tuning her guitar for the third time in as many minutes. The hum of the crew preparing for the night buzzed through the walls, but her focus was pinned to the task in her hands. She needed something to do, anything to keep her from replaying the last few nights over and over in her head.
She tightened a string a little too hard, the sharp twang making her wince.
“You alright over there?” Mitch asked, glancing up from where he was adjusting his pedalboard.
“Fine,” she muttered, not looking up.
From the corner of her eye, she saw Harry glance her way, his expression unreadable. She forced herself to keep her focus on the guitar.
By the time the lights dimmed and the crowd erupted into cheers, YN was itching to get the show over with. The theatre was packed, the historic venue alive with energy, but it did nothing to ease the knot in her stomach.
The first few songs went smoothly enough, the band locking into their usual rhythm. Harry prowled the stage like he owned it—because he did—and the crowd hung on his every move.
But by the time they hit woman, things began to unravel.
It started small. A glance. A smirk.
Harry turned toward her as he sang, his voice dipping into the lyric like he was saying it directly to her.
The crowd screamed, oblivious to the sharp edge in his gaze. YN’s fingers faltered on the strings for a fraction of a second before she caught herself.
Her eyes snapped to his, narrowing, but he didn’t look away. Instead, his smirk deepened, daring her to react.
She refused to give him the satisfaction, pouring her frustration into her playing as the song built to its climax.
After the final note, the applause was deafening, the crowd on their feet as Harry grinned and wiped the sweat from his forehead. He turned to the audience, shouting his thanks into the mic, but YN didn’t hear a word.
She slipped offstage the second the lights dimmed, her guitar slung over her shoulder as she headed toward the green room. Her chest was tight, her pulse racing, and she needed a minute to cool down before she said something she’d regret.
But she didn’t get far.
“YN!”
Harry’s voice cut through the noise backstage, and she stopped dead in her tracks, her hands tightening on her guitar strap.
She turned slowly, her jaw clenched as she met his gaze.
Harry jogged the last few steps to catch up with her, his sequined jacket glittering under the faint overhead lights. “What the hell was that?”
She blinked at him, caught off guard. “What are you talking about?”
“On stage,” he said, gesturing vaguely behind him. “You were off.”
“I wasn’t off,” she shot back, her frustration bubbling to the surface.
“You missed a note in woman,” his voice was low and firm. “I heard it.”
YN’s jaw tightened, and she took a step closer, her voice dropping to match his. “Maybe if you stopped staring me down like a lunatic during every damn song, I wouldn’t miss anything.”
Harry’s lips twitched, but there was no humor in his expression. “You think that’s why?”
“Don’t start with me, Harry,” she warned, her hands gripping the strap of her guitar so tightly her knuckles turned white.
He stepped closer, his eyes narrowing. “You’re the one starting something, YN. You’ve been looking for a fight all night.”
“Oh, I’m looking for a fight?” she snapped, her voice rising slightly. “That’s rich coming from the guy who can’t seem to decide whether he wants to piss me off or…”
She stopped herself just in time, the words catching in her throat.
Harry tilted his head, his gaze flicking over her face as a faint smirk curled at the corner of his mouth. “Or what?”
YN glared at him, her chest heaving as she struggled to keep her composure. “Forget it.” She spat, turning on her heel and heading for the green room.
Harry didn’t follow, but she could feel his eyes on her back, heavy and unrelenting, as she disappeared down the hallway.
Back in the green room, she slumped into a chair, her guitar resting against the wall beside her. She closed her eyes, letting out a slow breath as the adrenaline from the stage finally began to fade.
She didn’t know what pissed her off more—Harry’s constant needling, or the fact that he was right.
She’d been off tonight.
But only because of him.
-
The tour bus rumbled down the highway, the lights of Boston fading far behind them as the road stretched dark and endless ahead. The show at the Wang  was barely two hours in the past, but it already felt like a weight YN couldn’t shake.
She sat in her bunk with the curtain pulled tightly shut, her knees tucked up to her chest and her notebook balanced precariously against them. Her pen hovered over the blank page, unmoving. She had opened it in an attempt to write something—anything—to push the tension out of her head, but her mind refused to cooperate.
Instead, it replayed the night in an endless loop: Harry’s sharp words backstage, the way his smirk twisted into something darker, the challenge in his eyes daring her to finish what she hadn’t meant to say.
Her chest tightened at the memory. She’d spent the rest of the night avoiding him—on stage, backstage, and now on the bus.
The thin curtain separating her from the rest of the bus didn’t do much to block out the low hum of conversation from the main area. Harry’s voice rose and fell in rhythm with Sarah’s and Mitch’s, casual and unbothered. He laughed at something Mitch said, the sound low and easy, and it made YN’s stomach twist.
How is he so unaffected?
Hours later, the bus quieted as everyone began retreating to their bunks. The lights dimmed, and the gentle sway of the vehicle as it sped down the highway turned the space into a cradle of silence.
Everyone except YN and Harry seemed to have no trouble falling asleep.
She could feel his presence even though they weren’t in the same part of the bus. He was out there, probably stretched out in one of the seats, scrolling on his phone or reading something. She hated that she knew his habits, hated that she’d memorized the way he fidgeted when he was restless, or the sound of his quiet sigh when he gave up on trying to distract himself.
She hated, most of all, that she cared.
She finally slid out of her bunk, her bare feet silent against the soft carpet as she padded toward the kitchenette. The small fridge buzzed faintly as she pulled it open, grabbing a bottle of water and leaning against the counter.
She tried to focus on the cold press of the bottle against her palm, the faint vibration of the road beneath her feet—anything but the sound of movement behind her.
Harry stepped into the kitchenette without looking at her. He opened one of the cabinets, pulling out a box of tea bags and tossing one onto the counter before reaching for the electric kettle.
YN didn’t say a word. She twisted the cap off her water and took a long sip, staring at the far wall as if it held the answer to whatever storm was brewing in her chest.
Harry didn’t seem to mind the silence. He filled the kettle, set it on the counter, and leaned back against the opposite side of the small space, his arms crossing over his chest.
The room felt smaller now, the air heavier.
YN turned to leave, but his voice stopped her.
“You’re quiet tonight.”
She froze, her back still to him.
“Not a bad thing,” he added casually. “Just different.”
Her grip on the water bottle tightened, her jaw clenching as she turned her head slightly. “Maybe I just don’t feel like talking.”
Harry let out a soft hum, not quite a laugh. “How long will that last?”
Her chest tightened as she walked away, slipping back into her bunk and yanking the curtain shut behind her. She sat in the dark, the sound of the kettle clicking off faint in the distance.
She hadn’t seen his face, but she knew he’d been smirking. She could feel it in the way his words lingered, curling around her thoughts like smoke.
And despite herself, she hated that it still mattered.
October 1st, Washington, D.C.
DAR Hall was completely sold out, shoulder to shoulder, elbow into ribs. 
Clips from the show in Boston, among other shows, started to surface online with whispers and reposts. It was only a matter of time, the crowd wasn’t stupid—the tension between the two was obvious, it was just a matter of deciphering if it was real or not. 
The consensus seemed to be split down the middle—they hated each other’s guts, or they were fucking behind closed doors. 
YN wasn’t sure if Harry saw it, but she sure did. Her younger brother had texted her about it first, a series of spam texts at three in the morning asking for every detail.
She left him on read. 
And now, here they stood in DC, before a sea of fans that seemed like they saw right through them, when YN herself didn’t even know what there was to see. 
Luckily, and unfortunately, there were only a few signs that seemed to be about YN and Harry, no one on stage acknowledged them. 
It was a sort of silent agreement that YN would stick to her one guitar during the entirety of the tour. But, when Mitch went to switch out for the acoustic, Harry had stopped him. 
He pulled his ear piece out slightly, whispering something to the guitarist before stalking towards YN on the wings of the stage. With the ear piece out, he could hear how insanely loud the crowd was—he couldn’t help but send shocked smiles in their direction. 
YN furrowed her eyebrows, her palm lying flat over the strings of the guitar as she pulled on her own ear piece. “What’s going on?” 
He stood near her, his breath peppermint and flat sprite. “Switch out, you’re doing track seven.”
She narrowed her eyes, leaning her head in further. 
Track seven on the setlist, meet me in the hallway. “What do you mean? You or Mitch play that.”
He smiled, bunny teeth and dimples. “Now you are.” He nodded toward her, shoving the ear piece back in and ambling back toward the mic that stood center stage. 
She wasn’t nervous, more caught off guard. She knew how to play it, it was just being asked to play it. She pulled the strap from over her shoulders, walking back toward the rest of the band and setting the instrument in its place. 
Mitch would approach with an easy smile, settling the acoustic strap over her frame while Harry continued to talk to the crowd. He adjusted it to her body, looking over the frets to make sure they were tuned for the song—they were. “You know it?” 
She rested her fingers on the neck, nodding with a distant smile. “Back of my hand.” She breathed, earning a small nod from the other guitarist. 
Her eyes squinted in the bright lights as she moved toward Harry, his smile still bright—as if nothing had been happening between them at all. He said something into the mic, his voice a buzz in the background to YN—all that made sense was the second glance he sent her, the look to start. 
The fans simmered down, but not silent. She let out a breath, eyes scanning over the crowd then back to Harry. Her pick moved over the chords seamlessly, as if she played it this way for years. 
His hands gripped the mic stand as he echoed out the first lines, his rings glinting in the golden light. His eyebrows would furrow, his lips would part—he was just music. 
He was an asshole to her, he knew it. He hated it, and she hated how he was completely under her skin, threaded into her veins. 
As they approached the chorus, they looked toward each other, a fleeting sideways glance. He nodded his head down, shifting slightly to the side to make room for her. 
His voice boomed over hers, deeper and more emotional, but they mixed in harmony. Her voice was soft underneath his, lighter, only a backing vocal for the chorus.
The crowd erupted, and some sense settled over YN’s shoulders, the lyrics eerily familiar to them, to their situation. 
Her tummy twisted, yet she played the cords harder, falling into the melody, his words, the reverberation of the crowd. 
—Cause once you go without it, nothing else will do. 
Nothing else will do.
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cherryzlem · 1 month ago
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I fucking love Jimmy Mouthwashing so fucking much, he is PEAK character writing and I have SO MUCH to say about him
He wants to fix everything but never does anything right, he wants to help everyone but is the most selfish bastard ever, he hates Curly so much but worships him, he knows he's an asshole, he knows what he does is horrible, he knows he should apologize to everyone and he should take responsibility, deep down he knows it, but his pride is so important to him that he will never ever act upon it, and it's destroying him from the inside
And the fact that we get to play as him, see his actions and bad decisions first hand, GOD THAT'S JUST SO GOOD, we don't play as downright villains in videogames enough, there's nothing redeemable about him and that's what makes his character so AMAZING
AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HUMANITY, OPEN YOUR EYES AND REALISE HOW FUCKED UP CURLY IS ASWELL
He has ZERO boundaries with Jimmy and implicitly enables his behavior of "I can take whatever I want because I deserve it" and if it's not ENTIRELY HIS FAULT (edit: not entirely his fault because Jimmy is a manipulating piece of shit which def played a part in how Curly saw him), he definetly played a role in it AND he is also convinced that Jimmy would never cause harm because Curly is attached to the image he has of Jimmy, but that's not who he is, Jimmy is fucked up and Curly is so absolutely convinced that since he's his best friend he knows him better than anyone that the thought of Jimmy being the monster he is won't occur to him before it's too late
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mermervi · 4 months ago
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disco tits
✎ one shot where leon fucks u in your kitchen (?)
cw: d in p, creampie, ooc leon soo yeah, degradation, ouch, unprotected sex, fem! reader, MDNI
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You really aren’t a slut, right? And yet, the dick that’s currently bouncing off you is the reason you look like the women in those pornographic videos, nipples are hard and ready to go. As for Leon, he’s the kind of guy who rarely resorts to such things, like one-night stands; he’s just a different story.
It’s the effect of your legendary disco tits, the ones that are sprouting out of your low-cut dress right now, the ones he has been staring at blatantly. Thank God, Leon feels deeply indebted that women don’t wear bras under such beautiful dresses.
Onto the scenery.
Your panties are already on the floor; who gives a fuck? Leon can’t keep his hands to himself and clutches your right tit. Crushingly like nails and all. The other one bounces on its own.
“Look at you, so proud, huh? Pretty little slut.” Leon praises, well, grunts—no doubt he’s praising. Debauched as hell, no place in heaven if there’s a heaven.
He has to be praising, hopefully. You’ll be the judge of that; just do it later. Now, you’re quite busy.
Your legs are wrapped loosely around his waist, and your back is on the verge of a nasty twist on your kitchen island. Implicitly, you trust him; you just know that he won’t slip you down. Have you seen this guy? The master of manhandling.
Your thighs are deliciously spread apart so that Leon can shove his cock almost out of your dripping cunt, plush pussy lips beyond stretched out. He’s holding back a smirk as you give out the most succulent whimper. Your beautiful voice is so tangy that it sends goosebumps down his spine as he fills you. You swear you can fucking see all the colors behind your blurred vision and closed eyes—the complexity of a giant rainbow whenever the tip eases inside your abscessed cervix. Maybe you should ditch the work for tomorrow since there’s no way you’re going to be working your ass off after this shit.
“This dress is made for me, for me, fuck—too tight—to watch ’em tits.” Curses fly out of his mouth; no self-control. He’s fucking the most beautiful girl in the world in her kitchen, on your razed countertop, your cervix long gone, his condolences.
His thrusts are practically jostling your insides with every millisecond; yes, again with no fucking control. He knows you’re close—the stunned look on your face and the saliva glistening down from your mouth should be enough. So, Leon releases your tit and rubs your fat bud with the pad of his thumb until your nerves are frayed, leaving you crimped.
You can’t help it; you’re drizzling his cock with your own juices and swathing it so warmly that he feels thoughtful enough to consult you, albeit his normal pull-out game is shit. He’s so damn close. How could he not? What a pussy you have; he can’t stop admiring while he’s fucking. 
“Where? In your mouth or—”
You disturb his query. It’s so stupid. 
“Inside! Cum... inside.”
All night long, it’s the only sound you’ve made other than whimpering and whining—a high-pitched request, a necessity. Neither of you is sober enough to think about what happens next, and it doesn’t take long to get what you want. Leon’s watching with bated breath as your lovely pussy encases in his gleaming cum, thick and warm.
He still won’t pull it out, though; he loves and adores your cunt as he languidly and persistently moves his hips, fucking and shoving back the residue of cum through your wasted slit. He just needs to feel more, to keep you a while ’cause you’re beautifully slick; you’re written by his mess.
He really did it; his narcissism is through the roof. He fucked you so hard that bits and pieces of your brain melted out of your flushed and ringing ears. Makes him proud; he’d be a fool to lie, infringing Pinocchio himself to live with a longer dick. And his dick is already long, mind you. 
“Good girl, what a good fucking work and pussy.” One of the few words he says minutes before he leaves your house, not that you can catch it in your hazy reverie as you’re still pining away, leaking on the counter like the dumb-fucked fool you are. At least you got his name and number... oh! Plus, his boxer briefs laying next to your panties. Well, a start is a start, you suppose.
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genderkoolaid · 11 months ago
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yeah, but you do mean 'loveless' like 'romanceless' right? Just cause you're not interested in a romantic partnership, and you're never attracted to anyone romantically, that doesn't mean you can't love your family and your friends. Am I understanding wrong? I feel like it's a widely accepted concept that 'love' isn't just romantic, it's about caring about someone, no matter if they're your family or platonic friend or your pet.
No, "loveless" means love-less. Another anon also asked me to explain as well so:
"Lovelessness" in the aro context comes from the essay I Am Not Voldemort by K.A Cook. The essay confronts normative ideas on love, its inherent positivity and what it means to not love. From the introduction, which brings up the question of non-romantic love:
This June, I saw an increasing number of positivity and support posts for the aromantic and a-spec communities discussing the amatonormativity of “everyone falls in love”. I agree: the idea that romantic love is something everyone experiences, and is therefore a marker of human worth, needs deconstruction. Unfortunately, a majority of these posts are replacing the shackles of amatonormativity with restrictive lines like “everyone loves, just not always romantically”, referencing the importance of loving friends, QPPs, family members and pets. Sometimes it moves away from people to encompass love for hobbies, experiences, occupations and ourselves. The what and how tends to vary from post to post, but the idea that we do and must love someone or something, and this love redeems us as human and renders us undeserving of hatred, is being pushed to the point where I don’t feel safe or welcome in my own aromantic community. Even in the posts meant to be challenging the more obvious amatonormativity, it is presumed that aros must, in some way, love. I’ve spent weeks watching my a-spec and aro communities throw neurodiverse and survivor aros under the bus in order to do what the aromantic community oft accuses alloromantic aces of doing: using their ability to love as a defence of their humanity. Because I love, they say, I also don’t deserve to be a target of hatred, aggression and abuse. But what if I don’t love? What if love itself has been the mechanism of the hatred and violence I have endured? Why am I, an aro, neurodiverse survivor of abuse and bullying, still acceptable collateral damage?
The author criticizes the idea of "true love" that is incapable of harm. Ze questions why we construct love in that way, and how it ignores and simplifies the experiences of victims of abuse ("It’s comforting to think that a love that wounds isn’t real love, but it denies the complexity of experience and feeling had by survivors. It denies the complexity of experience and feeling that makes it harder for us to identify abuse and escape its claws. It denies the validity of survivors who look at love and feel an honest doubt about its worth, as a word or a concept, in our own interactions and experiences.") Ze talks about being forced to say "I love you" to transphobic, abusive parents whose feelings of love was the justification for their abuse.
The core of what "loveless" as an concept is about is summed up in this quote:
There is no substantial difference between saying “I’m human because I fall in love”, “I’m human because I love my friends” and “I’m human because I love calligraphy”. All three statements make human worth contingent on certain behaviours, feelings and experiences. Expanding the definition of what kinds of love make us human does nothing but save some aros from abuse and antagonism … while telling survivor and neurodiverse aros, who are more likely to have complex relationships to love as a concept or are unable to perform it in ways recognised by others, that we’re still not worthy.
Lovelessness is against any kind of statement which quantifies humanity (and implicitly, human worth) in the ability to feel or act or experience certain things. Humans are human by virtue of being human, and nothing else. And, it is socially constructed! "Love" has no natural definition! Some people are not comfortable using "love" to describe positive feelings and relationships, and some people do not feel those positive feelings in general. And those people deserve the right to define their own experiences and their own relationship to the social construct of love.
In essence, lovelessness is both a personal as well as (in my opinion) a political identity, born from aro and mad experiences that challenges not just amatonormativity but all ideas that associate personhood and worth with the ability to feel certain things.
& as a note, there is also the term "lovequeer" which describes using the term "love" in ways which contradict mainstream understandings of what it means to love, and which kinds of love are considered worthwhile.
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lightseoul · 13 days ago
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CHAPTER 5 | ALL OUT OF LUCK
w.c. 3.5k
tags. fem!reader, pro-hero!katsuki, aged-up (26), some cussing here and there, presence of breadcrumbs if you look close enough, dark and mature themes related to quirk supremacy
a/n. i'm back! thank you for waiting patiently for this chapter. i haven't had the time to sit down and lock in on writing until yesterday, but i hope the wait is worth it! important plot points will be discussed in this chapter, so i hope this one is a fun one for y'all!
links. masterlist, ao3 (coming soon)
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Sooner came later than you wished it would.
After that late-night conversation with Bakugou where he implicitly emboldened you to exhibit patience, you really made it a point to double down on the entire charade. You’ve attended as many activities as you could with the pro-hero, made a good impression on your fellow members, and even gone as far as constantly initiating affectionate behavior with Bakugou, to which he’s been getting better at responding.
So much so that he’s bordering dangerous.
There’s been that singular instance where he ushered you to the cafeteria after one of your quirk training sessions—like a gentleman—a big, firm hand planted on the small of your back. It wasn’t a huge gesture, but it was the first coming from him without prompting ever since you had to start acting like a couple. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t catch you off guard, but you played it off well enough, shooting him a grateful smile as you reached your usual table.
He only looked away, solemn.
You shrugged it off, thinking everyone had to start somewhere.
And while little moments like that have helped in taking your mind off of how routinary your days have been, the fact of the matter is: said patience is thinning.
You didn’t have to look far for proof either to know that Bakugou’s experiencing the same thing.
He’s been doing a decent job at regulating his emotions, as well as acting in front of everyone else to play his part, but when the trackers are long gone and cameras are sealed shut, and you’re in the privacy of your shared bedroom, that’s when he puts the mask down.
You could tell he’s been trying to remain kind—or at least, civil—with you, but there’s no denying the increased curtness of his responses, as well as how he’s been extra grumpy when roused in the mornings by either of the twins.
And you can’t blame him—you really can’t.
You yourself were just about to mentally give up and accept that you’re never going to get on with the mission at this rate when it comes on a regular evening.
You shoot up from where you were sprawled lazily across the mattress, alarmed. You glance at Bakugou, who’s already looking at you from the couch, that same caution you know is written all over your face etched on his.
Two weeks of living here, and the impending cardiac arrest that comes with a barrage of unexpected knocks still prove to be a probable cause of death for the both of you.
Wordlessly and without your behest, Bakugou grabs his pillow and blanket before throwing them beside you on the bed. You’re quick to adjust them into place as he slowly walks towards the door, another round of rapping resounding from the entryway.
Probably over the whole hammering thing just as much as you are, Bakugou promptly turns the knob and swings the slab of wood open, revealing a serious Omiru.
She speaks up almost instantly, but not without first glaring you both daggers. “The boss’s office. Now.”
And before she turns on her heel or either of you can ask any questions: “We’re gonna discuss the plan.”
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The first thing you notice when you get to Masaki’s office a few minutes later is that for a large organization’s leader, the space is—just like its owner—remarkably…plain.
Similar to your small bedroom, the walls are colored off-white, the floor is dark hardwood, and there are very minimal decorations. Aside from the picture frames of what seems to be a family of four littered on his modestly sized desk, the room is pretty bare in terms of embellishments.
You don’t get to take a closer look at the photographs, though, because the second thing then catches your attention: how, rather than plastered leisurely on the sofa and conversing with each other, the three heads actually seem busy.
While, in fact, seated on the couch, Sayaka and Kouki are far from being relaxed. They’re sitting on the edge of their seats, hunched over what seems to be a…chart? You don’t get to peer at that, either, because their bodies are blocking the view.
So, instead, you let your gaze drift over to the main man himself, who is behind his workspace and has his back turned against you, fiddling with what you think is a push pin as he stares at the large corkboard in front of him.
“Bakugou and his girlfriend, sir,” Omiru announces before you. “Just as you requested.”
At the sound of her low voice, Masaki turns around, a pleasant expression on his face. “Welcome, you two. Please, go and grab a seat.”
You quickly scan the room for said seat, but there aren’t any more vacancies aside from the set of furniture the cyborg and the old man are occupying. So, albeit begrudgingly, you quietly follow Bakugou as he takes a few steps and sits down across the two, with you plopping yourself beside him.
The man next to you clears his throat.
“Is there any reason why we’re being summoned at,” Bakugou pauses, checking his watch, “9:27 PM?”
Playing it cool and not at all eager, huh?
You can do that as well.
Feigning ignorance, you look at Masaki as he rounds his desk and situates himself on the single sofa perpendicular to the four of you.
“Apologies for that,” the man starts diffidently. “I’ve been…busy with things at home, and now’s the only time I have to discuss this with you for the next few days.”
“Are you finally telling me what my role is?” asks Bakugou, manspreading as he brings an arm on top of the backrest behind you. “Because if you are, then fucking finally.”
“Yes,” answers the plain-looking man, “We’ll get to that. But before that, I’ll have to preface this meeting by making sure we’re all on the same page.”
“As you all know, our vision here in The Quirk Coalition is for a future where quirks are cultivated to their greatest potential and are regarded with the highest primacy in society. That means those who can wield their strong powers will take their rightful place in the community and reap the benefits of their gifts,” Masaki pauses, before looking at you and Bakugou. “Do you see where I’m going with this?”
You nod, pushing against the dread that’s creeping up your spine. You feel Bakugou stir beside you.
He continues.
“For the gifted to fully enjoy what they deserve, we’re going to have to remodel society to serve those with formidable quirks. After all, it’s them who serve as the pillars of our nation that’s constantly under the threat of malicious villains.”
Villains like you, you think to yourself. You bite your tongue.
Masaki then leans forward, a sinister look dawning on his features.
“That then, my dearest members, leaves no space for those who are weak and quirkless. As such, we’ve taken upon the difficult but noble duty to eliminate those who are such. This is necessary, so as to be able to rebuild a world that’s suited to the beauty that are quirks.”
Silence.
“…All this yappin’ yet I still don’t know what kinda action I’ll get?” spews Bakugou.
You mentally facepalm.
“Right,” retorts Masaki, “I appreciate the enthusiasm, Dynamight. You’ll be glad to know that you play an important role in the whole scheme of things.”
“We’ll essentially be using those bombs of yours, boy,” Kouki chimes in, catching the rest of your attention. “There was no way for us to procure munitions without alerting the government, so we’re going to have to use the ones you produce with your quirk.”
“That’s it?” Bakugou spits out, performing for his life. “You’re just gonna make me into a factory? Don’t I get to blow things up myself?”
“You can’t without exposing yourself,” comes Masaki’s level-headed reply. “That’s what our volunteering members are for. They’ll be carrying your bombs with you and infiltrate the venues.”
“Volunteers?” you can’t help but ask, voice small. You feel Bakugou’s eyes boring at the side of your face. “Are you saying they’re…?”
“Going to die in the line of duty, unfortunately, yes.”
“But aren’t they going to be detected?” you push, tamping down the panic that’s blooming in your gut. “Most places here in Japan have radars that can easily spot a grenade.”
Masaki smiles at you.
You feel goosebumps rise in its wake.
“I appreciate your concern, sweetheart, but we’ve made sure our targets are free of such devices.”
You let the confusion show on your features.
How can that be?
This has to be a joke, or this man has to be bluffing.
But why would he, if he needed the two of you—or at least, Bakugou—to execute his plan?
His choice of victims ought to be sheltered in secured skyscrapers or guard-riddled complexes, neither of which would tolerate the presence of explosives.
Unless…
You chance a glance past Masaki’s shoulder and onto the corkboard he was just studying a moment ago.
And when you do, you barely manage to fight back a terrified gasp as your eyes land on the rows of photographs that are pinned onto the panel.
Because staring right back at you are tens of faces of children.
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“…Y/N?”
You snap to attention, turning to regard the concerned faces looking at you. “Huh?”
“You okay, babe?” comes Bakugou’s gruff voice, and you barely register the hand that slithers through the space between you to encase yours in a gentle hold.
You shift to meet the pro-hero in the eye. You find yourself glad you’re sitting down, because the sheer intensity of his gaze is enough to knock you off your feet.
“You zoned out there for a second,” he explains, shooting you a boyish smile, although it comes out slightly stilted.
“Yeah, no, I’m alright,” you try to laugh, “Sorry, I guess I’m just sleepy.”
“Are you sure she needs to be part of this conversation?” asks Kouki, who’s looking a bit too unsettled for your taste. “Masaki, I think you can send her back to their room if she needs to rest.”
“No,” you quickly interject, “I’m fine! I want to be here.”
You flash them the most sincere grin you can muster. “I want to help.”
“She’s the real deal,” Bakugou adds, to your relief. “Her quirk can make a huge difference in how successful your whole operation will be.”
On that note, and just like last time, you prepare yourself to utilize your quirk when none of them say anything for a beat. You maintain your carefree countenance as you wait for your go signal, but it never comes.
What comes, instead, is a decisive nod from Masaki.
“Very well, she can stay. But no more tangents, please. We need to get this ironed out.”
You nod eagerly. The man deems it enough for him to go on.
“Now that we’ve established Bakugou’s role in this entire enterprise, it’s high time we go through the actual plans.”
He gestures to the blueprint-sized chart on the coffee table in front of you. “As you can see here, we have ten circles. Each circle represents a target elementary school. One volunteer—”
Suicide bomber, you note in your head.
“—will be assigned to each school, armed with an ample number of bombs courtesy of Dynamight. Groups of at least six members of the organization will also be appointed per target to assist the volunteers and capture escapees if necessary. They’ll be teleported to their respective venues via their portkeys.”
Before you can even think of asking what the hell a portkey is, Kouki beats you to it.
“They’re devices,” he declares haughtily. “Magnetic devices, to be more precise.”
He holds out his thin wrists, which you now notice are adorned with silver bands made up of thin, rectangular pieces that stick to his wrinkly skin.
“Each member has a piece themselves, which pairs with the ones I have here,” he wiggles his hand for emphasis. “This is how we do mass teleportation.”
“Thank you, Kouki-san,” Masaki interrupts, before pointing again at the chart. “Now that we have that cleared up, I’d like to invite you to look at this portion.”
“While the rest of the members execute the plan at the ten locations, Kouki, Sayaka, and Bakugou will be in the headquarters overlooking the entire thing, while Y/N and I will be in the Prime Minister’s Office executing the final blow.”
A wave of terror instantly hits you just as Bakugou bristles in his seat.
“The fuck are you on, separating us?”
Despite the nausea pooling in your stomach, you still manage to register the contortion of Masaki’s features into a frown.
“You gave me the idea, Bakugou. You said your girlfriend here boosts one’s success rate, and I need all the help I can get to make sure I wipe out the entire office and elect a new set of like-minded officers.”
“I don’t give a fuck,” comes Bakugou’s hostile response. “She could get hurt, and I need to be there to protect her.”
If you weren’t in a literal life-or-death situation, you would’ve snorted at that.
But alas, you are, and the last thing you feel like doing right now is laughing.
So instead, you squeeze the hand that’s been holding yours since what has felt like forever ago, shrinking in yourself ever so slightly to seem afraid and to further sell the act.
You avert your gaze downwards, too, to make them feel like the alpha in the situation, but not before you catch a glimpse of Masaki sighing.
You hear it, too.
“What do you suggest we do then, huh, Dynamight?”
“You can station me where you and Y/N will be.” He eyes the robotic woman and the old geezer, “These two are more than capable of manning the HQ, anyway. Besides, I’m more useful out in the field.”
“But the risk of you getting caught—”
“I’m well-fucking-trained in stealth missions, if you really have to know,” Bakugou cuts him off. “Just let me know how I can contribute to your particular objective and I’ll do it. Without getting caught.”
He says it so confidently that even you’re convinced. But you don’t get to bask in his unfounded (up for debate, really) confidence, because he squeezes your hand this time before tightening his hold and turning to look straight at you.
You stare into each other’s eyes for what feels like an eternity before he delivers the finishing blow.
“…I just need to make sure she’s safe.”
A chuckle yanks you out of your daze, and you whip to see Masaki smiling at the two of you.
“Since when did the Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight become such a loverboy?”
“None of your goddamn business,” comes the pro-hero’s snappy reply, which grants him another bark of laughter.
“I suppose not,” Masaki quips, and you find yourself wondering how this man can manage to joke around like this when he’s got arrays and arrays of photos of children he’s planning to murder behind him.
Despite the sheer absurdity of the situation and the undeniable thumping of your heart, you’re eventually able to school your face into a neutral expression and listen in to the rest of the meeting.
After adjusting Bakugou’s placement from headquarters to the Prime Minister’s Office alongside you and Masaki, the latter proceeded to discuss further arrangements for the two of you. Apparently, there will be three people assigned to each of you to monitor your movements during D-Day. Neither you nor Bakugou protested against it, aware that you’re already walking on thin ice after negotiating that you be together during the day of the attack.
Once he got that part done and over with, the leader went through a few more details about the bombings before adjourning the session altogether with a conclusive pat on the knees like he did during your first meeting.
And just like that, you’re sent back to your room.
Words aren’t exchanged between you and Bakugou as he retrieves his pillow and blanket from your space, carefully laying them out on the couch.
You don’t have to ask him if he’s feeling the same heaviness you’re carrying, the load evident in how he seems to be physically weighed down with the way he moves.
It’s not even just about the news of tens of children being the targets. It’s also the pressure to succeed in this mission with this new knowledge, even more so the looming reality that you’re currently leaning way closer toward failing it.
And you don’t know what takes over you—it may be that burden, or the palpable fear, or the very fact that you’ve been sharing more and more touches over the past two weeks—but you do it.
You stand up from where you’re seated on the edge of the bed and pull him by his wrist—the Bakugou who was just about to lie down on his makeshift bed—and into an embrace.
Bakugou instantly stiffens in your grasp, but he doesn’t say anything nor try to wriggle himself out. Stubborn and admittedly craving for a comforting hug yourself, you don’t let go of your hold around his torso, shifting to pat his back all the while.
“We can do this,” you whisper a few moments later, forehead against his firm chest.
And, as if your words are magic, you sense his body relax before you feel him wrap his arms around you.
You fight back the urge to bury the rest of your face into his chest and cry when he does so.
“‘Course we can, dumbass,” comes his uncharacteristically soft answer. “We don’t have a choice.”
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Keeping your head high the following morning proved to be more difficult than you initially thought, let alone getting your ass out of the comfortable bed where you decided you could die then and there.
Bakugou himself didn’t look too excited when he got woken by the female twin at 8 AM sharp, that prominent frown deeply embedded in his mouth as he tossed his things onto the mattress just like clockwork.
And really, you were this close to asking him if he wanted to join you on your deathbed when your last bit of common sense reared its ugly head and metaphorically detroit-slapped you in the face.
Not now, bitch.
You had lives to save.
And so with that onerous knowledge, you hauled yourself out of bed, got ready in record time, and trudged beside Bakugou down to the mess hall.
You try to suppress the disappointment that lurches to your throat when you spot a small group of 20-somethings eating at the far end of your favorite table. You were looking forward to some peace and quiet, at least this morning after the debacle from last night, but apparently, that’s not happening.
You know better than to move to another spot, though, knowing all too well that such an action will make you seem snobbish and ruin the amiable reputation you’ve been trying to build for yourself. And so with a heavy heart, you head there with your full tray in tow and seat yourself beside Bakugou, just like how you’ve always had since Day 1.
And the moment you do, that’s when you hear it.
“…Have you heard?” surfaces an enticing voice that must belong to one of the women you clocked before sitting down. “Word’s spreading outside about the attack.”
“Seriously?” comes a man’s voice this time. “What about it?”
“Not much, just that there’s an impending one. But get this,” she pauses, and drops her volume enough that you have to strain to hear the next part.
“There…rumors…#2…involved.”
Your body moves before your brain can catch up—you whip to look at Bakugou beside you, whose eyes are already wide as saucers when you meet his gaze. Without a word, the both of you quickly move to demolish the food in front of you, and within a matter of minutes, you’re up and clearing your dishes by the kitchen area, before stomping toward the leader’s office.
Bakugou doesn’t even bother to knock on the door, opting to unceremoniously barge into the room instead.
“What the—”
“We’ve overheard that rumors are circulating about the attack and my involvement,” Bakugou announces.
Masaki, who’s looking stunned from where he’s seated on his office chair, tosses you a perplexed look. “What?”
“Let us out for one day,” Bakugou swings out of nowhere you’d almost get whiplash if you didn’t stop yourself from gawking at him at the last minute.
The man frowns. “I’m afraid I don’t follow, Bakugou.”
“Let the two of us be seen out for a day,” Bakugou expounds, although not by much.
Though, that seems to be enough for you, because only then do you get it.
Dating scandals have always been the rumor mill’s favorite, after all.
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˖⁺‧₊ as always, reblogs, replies, and tags are appreciated <3 feel free to drop an ask, too—i'd love to chat with you. have a nice day!
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elix8r · 5 months ago
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PRADA SHOES + I LOVE YOUS TEASER
PAIRING: heeseung x fem!reader 
GENRE: smut, angst, crack, (some?) fluff, college!au, exes to lovers!au, enemies to lovers!au, socialite/richkid!au
SUMMARY: Life as a socialite wasn’t all champagnes and designer labels, especially not with the turn your reputation took due to a simple misunderstanding. Now, you were being painted by everyone as a big fat cheater who shattered her sweet boyfriend’s heart—a narrative that couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, it was him who had betrayed your trust. Frustrated and feeling deeply wronged, you returned to society and the new school year after a summer of cutting off contact with everyone and the drama. But just when you thought you were ready to face the world again, you were blindsided by something unexpected: the lingering effect Heeseung had on you. And who could blame you? Heeseung was way too hot for you to get over in just three short months and now, seeing him with the girl he once told you not to worry about all over him? Oh, it was on. 
You refused to be replaced, labeled as a crazy ex, or forgotten. No, you were going to make Lee Heeseung realize that you were the best motherfucking thing to had ever happened to him. 
WC: 1.3K for teaser (i'm thinking 20k+ for the actual fic)
WARNINGS (FOR THE TEASER): profanity + mentions of infidelity
RELEASE DATE: Unknown but I am aiming for before summer ends
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey everyone!! lt's been so long since I've posted one of these so I decided to give you a really long teaser and also cause this is going to be a long one to write so you'll have to be a little more patient! But I hope you guys enjoy this and is excited for this fic cause I love writing it! Everyone is so messy (and lowkey kinda terrible) but it'll be a fun one so pls look forward to it!! Lmk if you wanna be on the taglist ☺️
Heeseung was going to fucking kill Jake Sim. 
When he woke up this morning, you were the last thing on his mind, something he seemed to have finally freed himself from. However, all the hard work he put into casting you away from his mind seemed to have been in vain, as now all he could think about was you and how you had returned after three months of radio silence with the guy you cheated on him with.
Livid didn’t even cover what he was feeling, and it was evident in the way he swung his club. Each hit seemed to be driven by a surge of pent-up frustration.
“What the hell, man? That’s the third time today you’ve been way off course. What’s going on?” Jay shot him an incredulous look as he tried to locate where the golf ball had landed.
Heeseung let out a frustrated groan as he ripped off his glove and shoved his driver back into his bag. “Y/N’s fucking back.”
That was all Jay needed to hear to understand what was going on with his friend. "Shit, I saw. I’m sorry dude, it’s fucked up."
Heeseung was in no mindset to be playing golf right now. All he wanted was to go back home and wallow miserably in his bed. Unfortunately, they were only on hole ten of eighteen, and judging by his performance today, Heeseung knew it was going to take awhile.
"Did you know?" Heeseung couldn't help but blurt out, his frustration evident in his voice as he watched Jay effortlessly swing a shot miles better than his own.
Confusion flickered across Jay's face as he turned to face his friend. "What do you mean?"
“Did you know that she was coming back with Jake?” Heeseung felt his jaw tense as he mentioned his ex-friend.
“I didn’t even know he was with her until today. Honestly, I thought he’d just fucked off somewhere and didn’t bother telling any of us, considering how things went down. You know me, I would’ve told you straight up if I had found out earlier.” Heeseung trusted Jay implicitly. He was as loyal as they came, but unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said for everyone in their friend group.
"Do you think Sunghoon knew?" Heeseung's question elicited an audible groan from Jay.
If anyone in their friend group knew how Jake spent his summer, it would undoubtedly be Sunghoon. However, Sunghoon was notoriously tight-lipped, especially when it came to sensitive matters. Since the breakup, the entire friend group had undergone an incredibly awkward shift. It seemed that everyone had more or less chosen a side, and allegiances were clear.
"You know he wouldn't tell us anything if he did. It's getting ridiculous. The other day, I saw Gaeul and him having brunch or something at the clubhouse, and the moment she spotted me, she practically sprinted over to explain herself. She claimed she's still 'Switzerland' in the whole situation and hasn't chosen a side," Jay recounted, frustration evident in his voice. 
Heeseung almost snorted at the absurdity of it all. Their friend group had never been one to keep secrets or tiptoe around each other, but the last few months had been nothing but that. The betrayal by you and Jake had not only affected Heeseung's relationship with you but had also tainted the dynamic of their entire friend group.
“Literally, what is there to be ‘Switzerland’ about? I mean, this whole thing isn’t even complicated. Everyone saw them go into the bathroom together and come out literally holding hands. Trust me, I know what she looks like after giving head, and that's literally what she looked like in that video Beomgyu sent. Plus, Karina literally heard them.” Heeseung angrily got into the golf cart as Jay fished the keys out to start driving.
“Okay, well, no offense, but in all honesty, Karina’s probably not the most reliable source, cause she’s in an extremely biased position, but I guess that’s beside the point.” Jay’s words seemed to instantly bring a frown upon Heeseung’s face.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Heeseung’s tone sharply switched up in an almost defensive manner.
Jay, feeling this shift, nervously cleared his throat as he stammered, trying his best not to offend his already sensitive friend regarding an even more fragile situation. “I mean, uh, well. You know…”
“What?” The grip he had on the seat of the golf cart seemed to get tighter as he waited for his friend to elaborate.
“Dude, you can't be serious? You know Karina’s been trying to ride your dick for the past, what, give or take ten years? I mean, we all know that she’s never had a good relationship with Y/N, and I’m pretty sure most of that resentment stemmed from the fact that you’ve always been head over heels for Y/N.” Jay slowly parked the cart and turned off the engine as he explained.
Still not understanding Jay’s point, Heeseung furrowed his brows, shooting his friend another annoyed look before getting out of the golf cart. “What are you trying to get at?”
“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re dense. I mean, the last couple of months before Y/N cheated on you was the closest you seemed to have gotten with Karina because of that final project that you guys had or whatever. I mean, you were with her more times than you were with your own girlfriend, and knowing Karina, she seems like she could be delusional enough to have maybe taken that as a sign that you were interested in her? I mean, this is all speculation, but I’m just letting you know what we all saw.”
Jay cautiously treaded this topic. Heeseung was his best friend since they were babies, and he would always be on his side, but Karina was never anyone’s favorite with her extremely polarizing personality. He had no allegiance towards her, not to mention that she wasn’t actually even in their friend group and always only ever found lingering around wherever Heeseung was, so it was much easier for Jay to actually see through her. In fact, it seemed that all of their friends could pretty much catch on to Karina’s end goal except Heeseung.
“So you think it’s my fault that Y/N cheated on me?” The air got tense as Heeseung snapped at Jay while snatching his 7-iron out of the bag. “Just because I spent some time doing a stupid fucking school project with Karina doesn’t mean it gives her reason to go and suck off one of my best friends.”
Jay shook his head even before Heeseung was done with his sentence. Heeseung seemed to not be getting the point. “Fuck no, dude, that’s not what I’m saying. Karina has an incentive: you. If she gets rid of Y/N, then it means you’re up for grabs. Of course, Karina didn’t force Y/N to get on her knees for Sim, but she was the first one to come running, telling us what happened even before Beomgyu sent that video.” Heeseung was trying hard to focus on trying to get his ball on the green as he geared up to swing while listening to Jay.
“So you don’t think she should’ve warned me of what she heard?” He swung precisely, but it seemed that this whole course, to be precise, wasn’t going easy on him. He’d be lucky to get even a double bogey on the par-4.
Jay slightly grimaced at Heeseung’s shot. “No, it’s not that,” he let out a sigh as he walked over to Heeseung. “Look, you’ve been my best friend for as long as I can remember, and I know the past few months have been fucking hard because of what Y/N put you through, and I just want you to be careful. Karina’s always been kind of a conniving, spoiled bitch who finds a way to get what she wants. Just because she’s been warming your bed every night since Y/N fell off the fucking Earth doesn’t mean she should be someone you start trusting.”
There was nothing he could say back to his friend’s words and it seemed that what Jay had said clung on deep to Heeseung's thoughts throughout the day, casting a lingering shadow and leaving a bitter aftertaste in his mind.
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