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nb-octopus-writes · 7 months ago

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once you’re in the hive, the other bees assume you’re supposed to be there

[Masterpost]

Chapter 8: One Could Get Used to This

Wordcount: 1.5K

~~~~

No-one comes to drag Virgil out of bed. He wakes on his own the next morning and for a few moments contemplates getting out of bed, but then he rolls over and goes back to sleep. It’s his day off, he doesn’t have any plans, and he is cozy.

He wakes again around noon, and wanders downstairs. There’s no-one in the sitting room, but he finds Patton in the dining room, curled up in the armchair with a book.

“Good morning!” Patton greets cheerfully. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah,” Virgil says. “You?”

Patton’s eyes crinkle up in a pleased smile. “I did, yes, thank you,” he says.

Virgil fidgets, just a little, and he glances back toward the door. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Hm,” Patton says thoughtfully, tapping the book against his chin. “Logan’s in his office, and last I saw him, Roman was still asleep, poor dear.” He chuckles. “You two sure were up real late last night. And Remus and Janus aren’t here right now, but they were going to come to dinner, so they should be arriving in a few hours.” He pauses, thinking. “I don’t think anyone else was planning to be here today, but I might have forgotten something, or they might’ve forgotten to mention it. That happens sometimes.”

“Must make meal planning difficult,” Virgil says.

“It can,” Patton agrees. “But I like to make sure we have plenty of leftovers anyway, so a surprise guest or two isn’t very hard to accommodate.” He smiles gently at Virgil. “Are you hungry? Would you like some breakfast?”

“If you’re offering,” Virgil says, because they have been incredibly hospitable to him so far, but he doesn’t want to presume anything.

“Oh of course,” Patton says, setting his book down. “I hate to leave anyone hungry when there’s food in the house. What would you like? Are you in the mood for a breakfast breakfast, or something more lunchy?”

Virgil hesitates. “I don’t want to make you cook something just for me,” he says.

“Oh, it’s no trouble!” Patton reassures him. “I like cooking. But we do have leftovers in the fridge if you would like something quicker.”

Virgil nods a little. “What are my options?”

“Well, we’ve still got plenty of what we had last night, of course,” Patton says consideringly, getting up and heading towards the kitchen. Virgil follows. “And I made a fresh batch of boiled eggs this morning.” He opens the fridge and peers inside, then waves Virgil over. “Take a look, anything look appetizing?”

Virgil joins Patton in front of the fridge and looks inside. ‘Plenty of leftovers’ may have been an understatement. The fridge is quite full, mostly of containers. There’s no way Virgil can possibly see all the options without taking most of the contents out to see what’s behind them, and he is not about to do that.

Trying to be quick, Virgil scans the food visible through the sides of the containers. He sees white rice, mixed vegetables, something brown that’s probably gravy, mashed potatoes, a couple drumsticks…

He knows, reasonably, that everything in this fridge is probably very good. He is also sure that if he was sat down and served any of these choices, he would eat it without complaint and be pleased with it. But just now, looking at the leftover containers, his stomach and taste buds rebel, and nothing looks appealing.

“I don’t know,” Virgil says. It’s not that he isn’t hungry. His stomach is very helpfully informing him that it is currently empty. It is just also telling him, simultaneously, that there isn’t a single food in the entire world that will satisfy, and unfortunately it has annexed his tongue to its side. His brain, meanwhile, is yelling that he’s taking too long to decide, and he needs to hurry up and pick something before Patton gets upset at him for letting all the cold out of the fridge.

Patton makes a sympathetic sound. “Too many options to choose between?” he says softly. “Would you like me to prepare you a plate?”

Virgil’s very bones go limp. “Yes please,” he says weakly, glad to have the decision taken out of his hands.

Patton rests his hand gently on Virgil’s arm. “Why don’t you go wait in the comfy chair, and I’ll bring you some food in a minute,” he suggests gently.

“Okay,” Virgil says, and goes. Just as he settles, Patton appears in the doorway again with an empty plate in his hands.

“You don’t have any dietary restrictions, do you?” he asks. “I know it’s a bit late to be asking, but…”

“No, I’ll eat anything,” Virgil says, fondness rising in his chest. “Thanks for checking.”

“You’re welcome,” Patton says, and goes back into the kitchen. He returns a few minutes later, the plate now laden with a large slice of lasagna. “Do you want to come eat at the table, or over there?” he asks.

“Table, definitely,” Virgil says, moving. Much less risk of spilling red tomato sauce on their furniture that way, plus he’d rather not try to balance a hot plate on his lap right now. He sits, and Patton places the plate in front of him. Virgil’s eyes go wide. In addition to the lasagna, there’s a slice of home-baked bread with butter and jam, and a small heap of peas and corn. “Just how big do you think my appetite is?”

Patton chuckles. “Sorry,” he says. “Force of habit. Roman would clean that plate and then ask for seconds, especially after sleeping through breakfast.”

“I can believe it,” Virgil says with a laugh.

Patton pats his shoulder, then moves away. “If it’s too much, we can put some of it back,” he says as he reclaims the armchair. “You don’t have to eat all of it.”

He’s certainly going to give it his best go, Virgil’s stomach informs him seriously. His tongue agrees.

Virgil starts with a large bite of bread. It’s no longer fresh-baked, but Patton had re-warmed it. Toasted, maybe? There’s a bit of crunch to it, though it’s still pleasantly soft, not hard as a rock like most toast.

Roman makes an appearance when Virgil’s about halfway through his meal, wearing only a white tank top and a pair of red shorts. Virgil isn’t sure if they’re loose boxer shorts or thin actual shorts, but he’s not about to stare at Roman’s crotch and/or ass long enough to figure it out, and he’s certainly not about to ask.

Probably they’re actual shorts. Roman has so far struck him as having somewhat more decorum than Remus, and probably wouldn’t walk around in just his underwear with a random person in his house.

Probably.

“Ooh, that looks delicious, I want some of that, is there more?” Roman says in greeting, completely oblivious to Virgil’s inner musings.

“There’s one piece of lasagna left, and plenty of the rest,” Patton tells him, and Roman strides into the kitchen.

He returns after a few minutes with a lunch identical to Virgil’s, except that the heap of vegetables is taller, and he has a second, already half-eaten slice of bread in his hand. Also his jam is a different color. Roman plonks himself down in the chair diagonally adjacent to Virgil and grins at him. “Good morning,” he says cheerfully. “I see you did not flee into the night like Cinderella.”

“If I was going to turn into a pumpkin at midnight, it would have happened well before Patton came to tell us to go to bed,” Virgil points out.

“True,” Roman agrees. He turns and points his fork at Patton. “Patty Cake, if he ever turns into a pumpkin, don’t bake him into a pie,” he says.

Patton laughs. “How many times must I promise not to eat him?” he asks.

“Once more, it seems,” Virgil says. “For what it’s worth, I believed you the first time.”

Patton’s eyes twinkle. “I appreciate that.”

“Did you sleep well?” Roman asks Virgil. Virgil nods. As if he could have slept poorly, in that bed. And it was certainly nice to get to sleep in late. “Good, good. After breakfast, do you wanna watch more tv?”

Virgil laughs. “You’re insatiable,” he says.

“We left off on a cliffhanger!” Roman defends. “And I, for one, was thoroughly enjoying myself up until the point at which we were reminded of the cruel passage of time and the physical needs of our frail human bodies.”

“I was having fun too,” Virgil agrees. And, well, he doesn’t have any better plans for his afternoon off. It’ll be fun. He’ll just have to remember to actually bike home before it gets dark again.

“Excellent!” Roman says, clearly taking that as a yes, and tucks into his meal with gusto.

~~~~

Chapter 9: Come for the Bike, Stay for the Game Night

may have a brief break in my regularly scheduled chapter posting, as I've caught up to myself and am still writing chapter 9. So, we'll see if it's ready next week, but likely not.

#sanders sides #8 #nb octopus writes #polyamory #accidental polycule infiltration fic #multichapter

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micropoet · 4 months ago

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Burned

Inspired by “The Line” by Twenty One Pilots. I might add more chapters to this later, so comment if you want to see more. Enjoy!

What if Virgil leaving the Dark Sides was a painful process in more ways than one?

TW: Blindness, illness, burns, fighting, bad feelings lol

Ft. Mostly Virgil and Janus, but everyone else shows up for half a second.

Take a seat

But I'd rather you not be here for

What could be my final form

Stay your pretty eyes on course

Keep the memories of who I was before

So stay with me because

My body's on the line now

I can't fight this time now

I can feel the light shine on my face

Did I disappoint you?

Will they still let me over

If I cross the line?

---------------------------------

Virgil sunk back to the dark side with his eyes firmly closed. He opened them slowly, adjusting to the darkness in stages. He squinted out into the shadows, then fully opened his eyes. Virgil tried to pick out the shapes of his desk and his bed, and after a few minutes of tensely waiting Virgil could make out their outlines.

Out of habit, Virgil flicked his light switch on and off. He barely noticed the difference between the two. How long would it be before he couldn’t see anything on the Dark Side?

A knock at the door interrupted the depressing thought. Virgil shuffled to his door and pulled it open.

“Ah, so you are back,” Janus stated and shuffled into the room without waiting for an invitation. Virgil rolled his eyes and moved to close the door. He froze when something brushed his arm.

He hadn’t seen anything there. What touched him? Did one of Remus’ creatures sneak its way into his room? Janus would have told him about that, right? But what if Janus couldn’t see it either? What if it was creeping around, waiting for one of them to drop their guard, then it could…

A hand grabbed Virgil’s arm and he most definitely did not scream.

“What’s wrong?” Janus asked. The hand was Janus’.

“Something touched me! Is there…? I thought…?”

“You’re not making sense, sweetheart.”

Virgil felt Janus’ cold hands move to rest on either side of his face.

“Oh dear! You’re burning up!” Janus exclaimed. A hand was moved to Virgil’s forehead. He sighed into the coolness, letting Janus’ cold blood suck away the excess body temperature.

Janus tutted. “Come. Lay down. No, no whining. You need to lay down.”

With half-hearted grumbling, Virgil found himself being gently shoved into his bed. The covers felt cool and crisp against his fevered skin. He’d always been freezing cold, what was happening?

“Here.” Janus stated.

“Here, what?”

“Tea.”

“... what?”

“Seriously? Can you not see the cup of tea that I’m holding six inches from your face?” Janus asked incredulously.

“Whatever,” Virgil scoffed. He squinted in the darkness to see the edge of a cup and hesitantly reached out to grab it.

“Virgil,” Janus’ voice was deadly serious. “Can you really not see the cup?”

Virgil’s hand closed over the warm mug, but Janus refused to release his hold.

“Answer me, Virgil.”

“It’s not a big deal-

“Answer. Me.”

Virgil paused.

“Sweetheart…” Exasperation filled Janus’ tone.

“Jan, you don’t need to worry about it.” Virgil started.

“Worry about what? The fact that you can’t see something a foot in front of you? Or the fact that you’re lying to me?”

“I’m not answering that question.”

“Why?” Virgil didn’t reply. Janus finally let go of the mug. “Why won’t you listen to me on this? Why won’t you admit those Light Sides are bad for you?”

Again, Virgil stayed silent. What could he say to resolve their months’ long debate? Staring at the near empty-blackness, Virgil couldn’t recall his usual defenses and justifications. Eventually, Janus sighed. He sounded so tired. Virgil heard him step away from the bed. The anxious side panicked at the sudden absence and the disappointment he was sure Janus had on his face.

“I told them my name.” The words tumbled out of Virgil’s mouth before he could think about them. “We were filming and it just kind of… slipped out.”

The silence in the room was heavy.

“I’ll let you rest, but we’re not done with this conversation. I’ll let you know when dinner’s ready.” Janus said simply. Virgil only knew Janus had left the room from the sound of the door clicking shut.

The warm cup of tea felt like flames on his skin. Even the bed became unbearably hot. Virgil took off his hoodie, but kept it close, unwilling to lose it to the darkness around him. It was too hot to sleep, and too dark to do anything else, so Virgil simply lay there thinking of Janus’ threat to continue the conversation.

Honestly, he’d been narrowly avoiding talking about the Light Sides for weeks. Janus hadn’t thought much of it when Virgil had first joined a video, but his opinion had quickly shifted when Virgil returned. The shift between the Light and Dark Sides wasn’t like walking through a door, it was a whole different environment. It was… well lighter, with the Light Sides. Brighter might be a better word as colors appeared more vibrant, smells more potent, every sense was amplified on their side. That, and the Light Side was unbearably hot, like standing on the surface of the sun.

The first few times Virgil had returned from filming with debilitating migraines and shivering uncontrollably. Janus took care of him (and Remus promised not to use his jackhammer during those times, which was something) but Virgil could tell it weighed on him. It was around his third or fourth time going to the light sides when Janus broke down. He begged Virgil not to go back, to stay on the Dark Side where he was safe.

Janus didn’t understand that it wasn’t up to Virgil anymore. There was an instinct driving him forward, pulling him back to the Light Side over and over again. Even when Virgil tried to resist the pull, he’d wind up back at the Light Sides, no matter how badly it hurt.

But Virgil hadn’t been able to explain this, not in any kind of valuable way, and it had devolved into an argument. At least, until the migraines went away. At that point, Virgil reached sort of an equilibrium between the two sides. The fighting stopped and it was almost normal. Virgil would come home from filming and join one of Janus’ self-care days or watch Remus make questionable modern art. But of course Virgil wasn’t lucky enough for that to continue.

He noticed the temperature changes first. He hadn’t noticed when it first became comfortable to be on the Light Side, but he had noticed when everything on the dark side started to feel colder. Even taking scalding hot showers couldn’t match with his apparently elevating body heat. That had been relatively easy to hide from Remus and Janus, not that they were continuing to point out what was wrong with going to the Light Sides. They assumed that he had figured out the balance between the sides. They didn’t think they’d have to deal with any weird illnesses again. And Virgil couldn’t take the disappointed stares, so he kept it to himself. The vision changes were much harder to hide.

The dark side grew dimmer and dimmer at an alarming rate. At first, Virgil could rest in his room for a little while until his eyes adjusted to the darker area, then go on with his day. But as the light gradually disappeared from his home, Virgil was at a loss. He spent more time in his room, trying to hide the reality of the situation from his family, but that only brought accusations.

Remus was the first to suggest that Virgil might prefer the light sides over his family. Virgil wasn’t sure if it was an intrusive thought or something Remus had actually been worried about. In the end it didn’t matter because Virgil could only dispel the suspicion once or twice before it set in.

Virgil had to say no to so many of Remus’ “outings” that the creative side had stopped asking him altogether. Virgil could go days without seeing or hearing from Remus, which was a feat in itself. Janus, on the other hand, only grew more clingy. Nearly every conversation between the two was an interrogation or an argument. Janus wanted to know why Virgil was filming so many videos, why he spent so much time in his room, why he was so jumpy recently, why he didn’t do any of his normal activities. Why why why why.

It never stopped. And while staring at the pitch-black space where his ceiling was supposed to be, Virgil nearly started to cry. It was hopeless, wasn’t it? If he hid what was happening to him, Remus and Janus thought he was avoiding them. If he showed them what was happening to him, they would demand he stop seeing the Light Sides and Virgil couldn’t just stop. So Virgil just resigned himself to waiting, taking the suspicion, and holding out until he got better.

What if he didn’t get better? What if he spent the rest of his life trapped in darkness? What if he couldn’t see Janus or Remus again? What if the only burst of light he got was when he filmed a video. Could he live like that? If the heat kept building Virgil was sure he couldn’t. But would Janus keep taking care of him, even if Virgil couldn’t give him an honest answer? Janus would never abandon him. They’d been through a lot and fought a lot, but Janus was always there for him when it counted. But part of Virgil wondered if there was an end to Janus’ patience.

“Oh Virgin~!” Remus called from outside the door. “Dinner’s ready! Hurry before I come up with something creative to do to your plate!”

Virgil shook off the train of anxious thoughts and stood up. He traced the wall with the tips of his fingers, trying to lead himself back to the kitchen. As he struggled to find the doorknob, Virgil was struck by a horrifying thought that it may be getting darker.

“It’s okay. You’re okay. Breathe. Breathe.” Virgil repeated. He closed his eyes. Strange, it was darker with his eyes closed, but only half as terrifying. His closed around the doorknob. With a sigh of relief, Virgil opened his eyes and pushed the door open. What greeted him was a black void.

Virgil took in strained breaths. He was fine. Perfectly fine. He walked forward five steps and bumped into the small table they had in the hallway. No problem. Virgil turned to the left and walked forward. He found the wall with his fingers. He found the deep gouges where Remus had practiced with his morningstar. He was almost there. He was so close.

Something cold and slick pressed into Virgil’s side. He froze, waiting for Remus’ cackling laughter. There was no laughter. Instead, the thing disappeared somewhere into the infinite blackness. Virgil shook.

There was something there. Something that moved. And he couldn’t see it. It could be anything. It could be anywhere. Virgil hadn’t even heard it move. Was it still there? What was it waiting for? He couldn’t see ANYTHING.

Virgil dropped to the ground in a fetal position. Panic gripped his entire body. His eyes frantically scanned the surrounding area, to see nothing. Absolutely nothing. Virgil tensed and tucked his head defensively.

The thing could be anywhere. It was waiting for him, Virgil knew it. The fear seeped like ice through his blood, freezing him in place. It was dark. It was so so dark. Anything could happen and Virgil couldn’t move and he was all alone in the dark and it was so hot his skin was melting and it wouldn’t stop it wasn’t stopping it will never-

“-gil. Virgil!”

Hands, too many hands, grabbed him out of the darkness. He couldn’t see where they started or where they ended. It was endless. Where were they taking him?

“Virgil, please. Focus on me. Focus on my voice.”

“I can’t! It’s here. They’re everywhere. I-I….”

“It’s alright, sweetheart. It’s just me. It’s just Janus. You’re safe.”

“There was a-”

“Shhh, little one. Breathe with me.”

Janus counted. His hands tapped out the rhythm. Virgil struggled to follow along, shaking through uneven breaths. Janus’ pattern stayed steady. Virgil looked instinctively for Janus’ hands, but couldn’t see anything. He couldn’t even see his own body. Virgil felt like he was floating in darkness, completely isolated in the pitch black.

“Stay with me, sweetheart.”

The hands squeezed Virgil, reminded him of his body. He whined. It was so hard to stay present. He screwed his eyes shut.

“Just focus on my voice and relax.”

And Virgil did, eventually. As Virgil’s breathing evened out, Janus drew him into his chest in a hug. Virgil caved into the familiar gesture easily, closing his eyes as Janus wrapped him in his arms. It was nearly impossible to be afraid when Janus held him like that. But as he calmed down further, Virgil realized that Janus was just waiting to start the interrogation.

“Would you like to tell me what got you so worked up?” Janus questioned. His tone remained calm.

“No,” Virgil answered. He kept his eyes firmly closed.

“Will you open your eyes for me?”

Virgil shook his head.

“Why not?”

“It’s too dark,” Virgil muttered.

“I would think it would be darker with your eyes closed, sweetheart.” Janus chuckled. One of his many hands brushed away Virgil’s bangs. Virgil flinched at the bitter cold.

“Please open your eyes for me.” Janus’ tone was so soft and pleading that Virgil complied. He opened his eyes, facing the void.

“Dear, can you see me?”

Virgil was already in shattered pieces on the floor, but somehow, that question broke him further. “It’s so dark,” Was all Virgil managed to say before bursting into sobs. Janus breathed in sharply, then tightened the hug.

“Oh sweetheart. I’m so sorry. It’ll be alright. You’re going to be okay.”

The words were comforting, but Virgil could hear the waver in Janus’ voice. He was lying.

“What’s wrong with emo?” Remus’ voice cut through the darkness. Virgil didn’t even bother attempting to answer.

“He can’t see,” Janus answered for him. “The Lights did something to him.”

“Those mother-”

“It wasn’t them.” Virgil answered quickly.

“You don’t need to defend them, Virgil.”

“I’m not defending them. It’s the truth!” Virgil pulled away from the hug but kept a hand on Janus for stability.

“Oh, so your eyes just suddenly don’t work for no reason?” Janus retorted sarcastically.

“Ooo! They could have imploded and be leaking blood into your brain right now!”

“Not helpful, Remus.”

“I’m telling you, this has nothing to do with them. Use your mind reading thing if you have to, I’m NOT LYING.” Virgil repeated firmly.

“Then what caused this? Because you could see this morning, you come back from the Light Side and you’re suddenly blind? What do you want me to believe?”

“Me, Janus,” Virgil spat. “I want you to believe me.”

“Then tell me what happened when you stayed late today, hm?” Janus’ voice was a near growl.

“We were brainstorming for the next video. Nothing crazy.” “You mean the next video where they ridicule you?” Remus snapped.

“They’re not really like that!”

“But they’d blind you?”

“They didn’t do anything to me!”

“Stop saying that!”

“Then stop denying it!”

“I’m not denying anything! It’s the truth!” Virgil’s heart thudded in his chest as he screamed. The heat in his body built like steam in a pressure cooker. The darkness surrounded and suffocated.

Janus grabbed Virgil’s arm. Virgil lurched forward as Janus yanked him. He could feel the coldness of Janus’ breath on the side of his face.

“If they’re so trustworthy, why don’t you stay with them instead?”

The words burned white-hot. The hand on Virgil’s arm scalded his skin. Then suddenly, he could see.

Brilliant light dispelled all darkness. In the stark white light Virgil could see Janus’ face in stunning clarity. Virgil could make out every line of anger and disgust. In that split second, Virgil met Janus’ eyes and saw a face of utter disappointment.

As quick as the vision came, it vanished.

Instead of returning to darkness, Virgil found himself in a bright hallway. Colorful paintings dotted the walls. To his left, Vigil could make out a blue, indigo, and a red door. In front of him, was a door painted dark purple.

Virgil blinked, but the image stayed.

His door. The Light Side. It didn’t make sense.

“Oh, Heya kiddo!”

Virgil’s head snapped to the side to see Patton walking towards him. Had Virgil lost his mind? This had to be a dream.

“Did ya forget something? I’m an excellent finder, seeing how I have… four eyes.” Patton tapped his glasses, then laughed for an unwarranted amount of time. Definitely not a dream.

“Anx- Virgil, what happened to your arm?” Patton asked, his face suddenly showing concern.

Virgil looked towards his arm to see a handprint emblazoned in red. He prodded it and felt the burning sensation anew.

“Are you okay? What happened?”

Virgil was done with questions. People kept asking him questions when he had NO CLUE what was happening.

“He- He wouldn’t do this. He wouldn’t do this to me,” Virgil choked out. His voice shook, but no tears fell. He was spent, completely dried out.

“Who wouldn’t, kiddo?” “I- I can’t- I’m supposed to-” “Shh, shh. It’s okay. We’re just gonna lie down in the living room for a minute, okay?”

Virgil allowed himself to be led away from the vibrant hallway, to another vibrant hallway. The colors blurred into a kaleidoscope of useless visual information. He was sat on something soft.

Warm arms wrapped around his torso. It felt wrong. Janus’ hugs were always cold. Awkwardly, Virgil was pat stiffly on the shoulder. Wrong. Remus was slimy or unsanitary, but never stiff. A third voice echoed in the room heroically declaring vengeance. Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong.

Virgil forced his eyes shut, placed himself back in the darkness he was supposed to inhabit. But burned on the inside of his eyelids in blazing white was that look in Janus’ eyes. That fear and disappointment.

He didn’t belong in the Light, but he could no longer go back to the dark. He’d reached too high, and, like Icarus, Virgil burned.

#ts sides #sander sides #sanders sides #intrusive thoughts #remus sanders #ts janus #ts virgil #virgil sanders #anxiety sanders #ts deciet #deceit sanders #angst #ts virgil angst #sanders sides angst #light sides #dark sides #fanfic #sanders sides fanfiction #ts patton

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sanderssidesthehouse · 5 days ago

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/64883719

for @dukexietyweek prompt AU.

I Think You've Got A Wicked Smile

“My stupid brother has a stupid date to the stupid wedding.” Remus stormed into Virgil's room and threw his backpack on the ground. “And?” It had startled Virgil the first few times this had happened, but being friends with Remus meant you got used to it. “That means I need a stupid date to the stupid wedding.” Remus then threw himself backwards onto the unoccupied part of Virgil's bed. Virgil could try to argue that the logic didn’t follow, but once Remus had an idea in his head, it tended to stay there, and he’d rather save the energy. “... Welp, good luck with that.”

“Virgilllllll.” “I'm busy.” “I didn't even tell you what day it is.” “So what day is it?” “This Saturday.” “Yep, I'm all booked up.” “You aren't either. Your one friend who isn't me will be out of town and you don't do anything unless we drag you out.” “Exactly. I have to get in my scheduled nothing time.” “I'm gonna tell your mom.” “Nooooo. She'll make me go,” Virgil whined. “Perfect!” “Ugh, fine, just don't tell her, she'll make it a whole thing… Wait, I don't have anything to wear.” “Just wear clothes. They won't expect much from my date.” “Remus, I can't go to a wedding in ripped jeans and combat boots.” “Says who?” “Says me. Besides, my mom would kill me.” “Hmm… Yeah. You can borrow some of my clothes.” “Remus we are not the same size.” “Ugh, you're making this so difficult. Can I bring your mom instead?” “No.” “Fine, fine. I'll take you shopping or whatever. Mall's still open for a few more hours, right?” “Gram is rolling in her grave, but yes.” “Cool! Let’s go!”

“Remus, I can’t wear this!” “Aw c’mon, just show me how it looks,” Remus called back through the door of the stall Virgil was changing in. “I look like a prep.” “You’re the one who wanted to dress up!” “It’s just so… I can’t wear this.” “You’ve said that about the last seven outfits. Just show me. You know me, I’ll tell you if it looks bad.” Virgil huffed. “Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” “I’ll consider myself warned.”

Remus could hear the door unlock and waited patiently as it took a few more seconds for Virgil to open it. When his friend finally presented himself, Remus was shocked, not because it was ugly, but because… It looked really good on him. The purple vest was the perfect shade to bring out his eyes, and the tie was Remus’s favorite shade of green, not to mention it would match Remus’s vest exactly. He’d have to get a purple tie.

“See? I told you it looked bad. I’ll just-” “Bad? Virgil, I don’t think you’ve ever looked hotter.” Virgil squeaked. “Not that I don’t dig your whole emo aesthetic, it really suits you, and the holes in your ripped jeans make me want to grab your thighs, but this… This looks good.”

Remus realized a few moments too late that he might have overdone it if Virgil’s fire engine red face and lack of breathing was anything to go by.

“Um, I just mean, it’s um, you know… You can wear it.”

There was another brief moment before Virgil started laughing so hard he had to lean on the doorframe for support. Remus always thought Virgil was so pretty when he laughed. It brought a light blush that his pale face so desperately needed and the crinkles around his eyes reminded Remus of a flaky pastry. It might be an odd descriptor, but he really did like flaky pastries.

“Ok, ok, I’ll wear it, jeez,” Virgil got out between chuckles. “You’re something else, Rem.” “Oh, ah, haha,” Remus managed. He could feel his face having warmed and his tongue being tied. “Just give me a second, I’ll change back and we can get out of here. You want to go to the arcade?” “Yeah, sure.” “Cool.”

Virgil closed the door.

Remus was so fucked.

The school bell rang, signalling it was time to get to home room. Ugh. At least Janus would be there with him.

“Hey, Virge. I heard you got a hot date this weekend.”

Or maybe Janus being there wasn’t such a blessing.

“It’s not a date.” “Of course not,” Janus said in a tone that meant he didn’t believe it and wanted Virgil to know that despite humoring him. “You’re the worst.” “And you love me for it.” Virgil sighed. “Just don’t tell anyone. Remus wants it to be a surprise, and honestly I think it’ll be really funny to see the look on Prince Preppy’s face.” “Who, me? Tell a secret? I would never.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow and Janus hissed out a laugh.

“Alright, alright, but I would never tell your secrets. Have fun on your not date. Try not to let Remus burst a blood vessel restraining himself?” “From what?” “Well he’ll either die or you’ll figure it out soon enough.” “I hate when you know things that I don’t.” “I’m surprised you’re not used to it by now.” “Shut up.” “Great retort. You should join the debate club.” “You should join the shutting up.” “... Virgil…” “Admittedly not my best work.”

Their conversation was cut short by the teacher starting role call. What did Janus know about Remus that he didn’t?

For the remainder of the week Remus seemed giddy and Janus took every opportunity to snicker at them and then say it was nothing. Jerk.

Part of him was dreading having to go to a wedding for people he didn't know and part of him thought it might not actually be so bad with Remus by his side. It would be interesting at the very least. Hopefully neither of them got arrested or covered in food or crashed into by a malfunctioning plane. That would suck. Maybe he should check the projected flight paths of flights that would be in the area. Before he could though, his phone chimed.

Duke of the Dumpster: here dw i cleaned the front seat mth: kk

Virgil double, triple, and quadruple checked he had everything then crept down the stairs. Hopefully he could dodge his mom and any questions that might come up with his outfit-

“Virgil? Your friend is here.”

No such luck.

“Oh, where are you going so handsome?! So grown up!” She rushed to him and began fussing with his hair and clothes. “Ugh, Mum!” “No angry make up? He must be special.” “H-he?!” “You cannot hide these things from your mother. She knows all. Your Remus, yes? Oh, look, is he matching out there? So sweet!” “He just needed a date to this stupid wedding is all!” “Virgil! That is no way to speak about someone's special day. You know when I got married to your father-” “I know, I know. Mum, we're gonna be late.” “Oh, you cannot be late. Shoo, now! And get many pictures! I will be having a talk with your Remus when you return.” “Mum, it's probably going to be late-” She fixed him a look. “Right, I'll let him know.” “Now go. Go! Have fun! Be safe! Use pro-” “Ok, bye Mum, love you, see you later, bye!” Virgil squirmed past her and rushed out the door bright red. Remus grinned as he got back into his seat and Virgil slid in the passenger side. “You know I think most people only put blush on their cheeks.” “Shut up and start driving. My mum wants to talk to you when we get back.” Remus's eyes went wide and he swallowed. “This is it. She's finally going to kill me.” “She's not going to kill you… Probably.” “Virgil!” “You still want your body buried under the old tree?” “...” Remus sighed. “Yeah…” “Cool. Let's go so we're not late.” “They're lucky I'm showing up at all.” “If you make me late, you won't have to worry about my mom.” “Reading you loud and clear, captain!”

Remus gave a salute and backed out of the driveway. Virgil just rolled his eyes.

The ride was pretty uneventful. They barely even had their typical banter. A nervous energy poured off of Remus which in turn made Virgil nervous. By the time they got there, Virgil was about ready to run a marathon to get it all out. Honestly he would have done some jumping jacks if there weren't a ton of people there already. And if he wasn't wearing something nice.

“So what do we do now?” “We're meeting out back. The ceremony will be outside then we'll go inside for the reception. I think Ro's already here. Wanna go bug him?” “I thought you'd never ask.”

Remus led Virgil around the side of the building an into a garden area with an open gazebo and lots of chairs lining a pathway. It actually wasn’t as big as Virgil had been expecting with the way Remus had been complaining about it. And since there weren’t that many people, at least comparatively, it was pretty easy to spot Roman in his bright red suit. Target acquired.

“I can’t believe he wore that.” “Right? Like I know he likes red, but isn’t that a little much?” “Please tell me he’s going to ditch the jacket for the reception.” “Highly doubtful.” “At least he didn’t wear the sparkly one he wore to homecoming.” “Roman? Wear the same suit twice? Banish the thought,” Remus feigned indignity. Virgil snickered. “Where’s his date?” “Can’t tell, but he’s a bit shorter so he’s harder to spot. Plus he’s not trying to signal to martians that he’s here and abductable. Here, walk behind me so he doesn’t see you yet. This is gonna be great.” “Aye-aye, captain.”

They made their way to the bush Roman was standing by, coming up from behind so Remus could grab his attention when he wanted it.

“Greetings, dear brother!” “Gah- Remus!” Roman huffed as he whipped around. “You have got to stop doing that! I’m going to have a heart attack one of these times.” “Shame that.” Virgil stepped out from behind Remus. “Virgil?!” Virgil grinned and gave a sarcastic salute. “Sup.” Roman glared at his brother. “Oh, hey! You’re in my chemistry class!” Roman’s date appeared seemingly from nowhere. “Oh, uh, yeah. Patton, right?” “Mhm! Gosh, isn’t this just so fun?! I love how you two match! Is purple your favorite color?” “Uh. Yeah. It's um, a good color.” “I’ll say! It brings out your eyes.” “... Right. Um, you look nice, too?”

Patton was wearing a baby blue suit and brown dress shoes. Apparently no effort was made to match with each other. That made Virgil wonder if he and Remus were doing too much.

“Aw, thanks! I think you’d get along well with my buddy, Logan.” Now that piqued Virgil’s interest. “Logan from debate club?” “Yeah! Do you know him?” “Not personally, but Janus talks about him a lot.” Patton gasped. “You’re friends with Janus?! Logan talks about him all the time, too! Always saying how it’s so infuriating that Janus can find ways to use logic to defend the most ‘ludicrous’ points! It seems like they’re getting along well.” Virgil noted that information for use later. “Yeah, sounds like Jan.” “Oh, let’s go find our seats! Can I sit next to you?” “Sure.”

Virgil was hoping Patton knew not to ramble on while the actual ceremony was happening and briefly wondered if he was a wedding cry-er. Hopefully Roman had that all handled and this wasn’t actually the worst idea he’d had in his life.

As Virgil and Patton were talking out loud, Roman and Remus were having a silent ‘argument’ mostly consisting of Roman throwing a tantrum and Remus egging him on. Remus noticed immediately when their dates started moving on, but waited for Roman to notice which didn’t take too long.

“Why did you bring him of all people? You finally ask him out and your first date is to a wedding that neither of you probably want to be at?” “Who said this is our first date?” “What?! When?” “Actually this isn’t the first date because it’s not a date. Not a real one. He’s just here because I wanted someone to come with me.” “So you’re going to torture yourself all night? That’s a new level of masochism for you.” “And what about Patton? I happened to notice one of you is bright red and the other is soft blue.” “Well… We’re not on a proper date either. He just really likes weddings!” “And you really like him! That’s so cute, I could puke.” Roman groaned. “We should probably go sit with them before they worry about us.” “Yeah, I dunno if we’re even on their minds.” Remus gestured to where their dates sat. “Huh. I guess I should have expected our little ball of sunshine to chase some of doom and gloom’s clouds away.” “He would take offense to that.” “And when has that ever stopped me?”

Remus shrugged and began making his way to the row of chairs, Roman just behind him.

“My mom wanted me to get lots of pictures, too.” “Oh, I'll take them for you!” “Oh, you don't have to, really.” “That's ok, I love photography! Plus this will be great for my scrapbook!” “Your scrapbook?” “With pictures of all my friends!”

Virgil wasn't really sure talking with someone for 20 minutes tops made them friends, but he wasn't going to be a jerk and say it. Plus, he might not know him well, but Patton seemed like a cool enough guy. Plus if he was dating Roman and friends with Logan, they'd probably be seeing each other more often. Speaking of which…

“How long have you and Roman been together?” “Oh well, we're not really… He just mentioned the wedding and I said how much I love weddings and he asked me if I wanted to come so I said yes. I like him, but I don't know if he feels the same way about me…” “Look, Roman may be obnoxious and rude and a jerk and bullheaded and not very bright-” “But?” Oh right, he was making a point. “But he's not the type to just lead someone on. If you were here as friends he wouldn't be treating you like a date. So has this felt like a date?” “He kissed my hand when he picked me up?” “Damn. He's down bad.” “That doesn't sound good…” “It means he's super into you.” “Oh! Do you think?” “For sure. Just start flirting with him and if it fries his brain he likes you. He can give, but he can't take it.” “How do you know all this?” “I've been friends with Remus basically since we were born. I've witnessed all of Roman's embarrassing crushes. Including Mrs. Paisley in the fourth grade.” Patton laughed. “That's so cute!” “Oh, shh, here they come.” “Gossiping already?” Remus asked.

Virgil shrugged and shot Patton a wink who then giggled. Roman glared at him on his way past, but Virgil didn’t feel the least bit threatened.

“Oh, I know! We should all take a group picture! Roman, can you take it?” Patton passed his phone. “I suppose.” “Ok, everyone say groupie!” “What?” Virgil choked. “Like a selfie, but we’re a group!” Patton smiled, certainly priding himself on teaching someone something new. “... Right. Maybe we could stick with ‘cheese’?” “But that’s so boring.” “Oh, I know!” Roman exclaimed. “In theater whenever we take a picture we say ‘chartreuse’.” “Why?” Virgil asked with a fair amount of judgement in his voice. “Because it’s fun to say!” Virgil thought for a moment then shrugged. “Got me there.” “Ok, then! 3, 2, 1!” Patton started. “Chartreuse!” “How does it look?” “I think I blinked,” Remus joked. “Well I look great.” Roman examined the picture. Patton glanced at Virgil before taking a deep breath. “You always do.” “Oh, um, well, yes, of course, naturally.” Roman pulled at the collar of his shirt and looked anywhere but Patton as his face began to match his suit. “Um, here's your phone.” Roman tried to hand off the phone without looking at the recipient which resulted in some waving and close calls before Patton was able to grab it.

Before anymore awkwardness could ensue, someone called for everyone to take their seats. The ceremony itself was nice enough. It certainly helped that it was short. Virgil was, however, correct about Patton being a wedding cry-er, and since Roman was trying too hard to be normal and not obvious about his crush, it was Virgil patting Patton’s back. Then again, he thought he saw Roman wipe away a tear or two, so maybe they would have just created a feedback loop and ended up bawling.

After they were dismissed, the wedding party and immediate family started with pictures while everyone else mingled or made their way inside to wait. Roman ushered Patton off somewhere, probably to avoid his brother and his brother’s date, but possibly to make some moves… Nah, Roman might be bold and brash, but he wasn’t nearly as brave when it came to being vulnerable. If anything, Patton would be the one to start things and they'd find Roman as a newly formed puddle of goo somewhere amongst the roses.

The twins’ mom caught up to Remus and Virgil, grinning widely, not unlike her usual expression. Virgil had yet to see her frown even a little bit and it was honestly a little off putting.

“Oh, you brought Virgil! You clean up so nice, sweetheart! And here I was worried he'd bring one of those delinquents.” “Mom!” “Hi, Mrs. Kingsley. Did you change your hair?” “I did! Thank you for noticing! Even my boys didn't say anything…” “It looks good. The cut really suits your face shape and the color brings out your eyes.” “Hey, if I wasn't allowed to bring your mom, you can't flirt with mine,” Remus muttered. “Such a gentleman! Well, I won't bother you two, thank you for coming to celebrate with us!” “Of course, thanks for having me.” “What a charmer. Now where did I leave my husband?” She muttered to herself as she walked away. “Ah, good ol’ Dad. How long do you think he can give Mom the slip?” “5 minutes tops. She’s like a bloodhound.” Remus dramatically gasped and put a hand to his chest. “Hey, that’s my mother you’re talking about.” “And?” Virgil wasn’t sure where this was going, but he knew it was going to be a good time. “And she’s obviously more of a bluetick coonhound.” Virgil snorted. “Oh, my apologies.” “I’ll forgive you this once, but you’re on thin ice.” Remus grinned. “Careful, you know how I am on the ice, you might have to hold me.” Remus flushed. “Well if you insist.”

Virgil tilted his head slightly in confusion, but let Remus link their arms. He’d only been calling back to their ice rink adventure the past winter with Janus and how atrociously he’d done. They’d both had to practically carry him off the ice. Luckily Remus was as extra as his brother and had rented out the whole rink so no one else was there. He couldn’t think of why that might make Remus uncomfortable, and if he was uncomfortable, why he got physically closer. Leave it to Remus to be entirely unpredictable.

Virgil let Remus lead him inside to find their table. It looked like Remus, Virgil, Roman, and Patton would get a small table to themselves. That worked out well enough.

“So how long do you think it will take those two to get together for real?” “If Patton doesn't completely fry Princey's brain, I'd bet by the end of the night. Didn't he always want to meet a prince at a ball?” “When I was like five!” “Hey, I found him.”

Virgil turned to face the disembodied voice so that it might be bodied again.

Roman huffed. “I wasn't lost.” “Where's your date?” “Bathroom. What exactly were you two talking about?” Virgil looked Roman up and down and grinned. “Nothing much.” “You're the worst. Why did you even come?” “Free food.” “Not even going to pretend you came for Remus?” “Not yet he hasn't.” “Remus!” Virgil and Roman scolded in unison.

Virgil shot Roman a ‘this guy’ look which was returned whole heartedly.

“Hey, stop silently communicating about me. Aren’t you two supposed to not like each other?” “Like a prep? Don’t make me laugh.” “Yeah, as if I would ever be friends with an emo nightmare.”

Their beef wasn’t really that serious, but they’d agreed a long time ago they just liked to argue.

“Hey guys, sorry I took a while, there was this butterfly and then a baby needed holding, and you would not believe what Michelle’s boyfriend said to her.” “I don’t know what any of that means,” Remus said with a smile. “Who’s Michelle?” Roman asked. “Man, I could’ve been going on b-plot adventures with Patton instead of hanging out with the twin terrors?” “Well anyway, it’s sorted now. I saw the wedding party making their way here so I think we’ll eat soon.” “My favorite part!” Remus cheered. “My favorite part is the dancing.” “Oof, mine isn’t. I can’t dance,” Virgil said. “Really? I’m a great dancer.” Roman grinned. “Good for you, twinkle toes.” “Ok, rude.” “I’m sure you could do it if you tried!” Patton tried to encourage him. “Oh no, believe me, there would be mass casualties. But if you dance, I’ll be rooting for you.” “Yeah, last time Virgil danced, Janus twisted his ankle and a tsunami hit Japan,” Remus supplied. “Only one of those things was actually related to me.” “You can’t prove Janus twisting his ankle wasn’t because of you.” “I meant- I meant the other one.”

Virgil tried to look to Roman and Patton for support, but Patton was too busy trying and failing not to giggle, and Roman just raised an eyebrow to say ‘You chose his company.’ which honestly was fair.

They made idle chatter until they were able to go up and get food. At some point after they returned to the table, Virgil’s mind began to wander. So far their ‘date’ had actually been pretty good. It wasn’t much different than when they hung out just the two of them outside of dressing up, but nothing else seemed to be expected of them other than being next to each other which they would have been anyway. He knew in some capacity that being someone’s date and going on a date were two different things, but they couldn’t be that different, right? Maybe dating wasn’t as stressful as he’d originally thought.

“Besides, weddings are lame, right Virgil?”

Whoops, someone was talking to him. Remus. What did he ask?

“Weddings are outdated, overly expensive pageantry,” Virgil responded on autopilot. “Ha!” “But this one’s kind of nice.” “Y- What?” “Yeah, I mean your cousin seems nice and it’s a pretty chill event. They seem to really be in love or whatever, I dunno.” “Hmph. Well at my wedding, there are going to be sharks.” “Sharks. Seriously? Talk about expensive.” “Nah, we’ll just get on a fishing boat with a priest. It’ll be cool!” “I am not getting married on a boat.” “Oh, yeah? What’s your great idea then?” “If I had to go through with a wedding, I’d get married under a weeping willow by a river in August as a small gathering of close family and friends.”

Remus was a bit stunned and couldn’t sort out a response, unlike Roman who was snickering and said something that sounded an awful lot like ‘Wow, he’s not like the other girls’. Patton swatted his arm.

“Well I think that sounds wonderful! I hope I’ll be invited!” “Only if your plus one isn’t Roman.” “Wh- Hey! I’ll have you know, I am a fantastic wedding guest!” “Really? Because the only time I’ve seen you at a wedding you spent most of the time antagonizing other guests, so…” Virgil shrugged. “Ok, first of all, the other guests give as good as they get, and second of all, I’d have to be Remus’s best man so I’d be there anyway.”

Right. They were on a date. A fake date. That made everyone present assume they were together. Like people who are dating are. Because they were on a date that just happened to be fake. Virgil felt and promptly ignored a pang of disappointment because he didn’t have time to figure that out.

“Nah, I think Jan’ll be my best man.” “No way! He was my friend first!” “Yeah, well I licked him first!” “First of all, ew, second of all, I doubt that.” “... Pat, do you want to go be anywhere else?” Patton laughed. “Sure. Let’s get some pictures by the flowers!” “Oh darn. I was so hoping to see their reactions when I suggested we pee on him to mark our territory.” “Yeah, I’m also gonna go take some pictures by the flowers-” “No wait!” Virgil laughed. “We should get some pictures though. My mom wanted some, remember?” “Just make sure to get my good side.” “And which side is that?” “My backside!” “Remus!” Virgil swatted him and went to find a place to take pictures.

Soon enough, speeches were spoken, the cake was cut, and the first dances were had. It was honestly really sweet and they all seemed really happy. Virgil wondered what it would be like to dance with someone like that. Would Remus hold him close? Would he twirl him around? Would he tell stupid dirty jokes to try to get Virgil to lose his footing and catch him when he fell? Not that he was thinking about Remus because he wanted to dance with Remus in particular, he just had to substitute someone in, and, well, Remus was just convenient. Obviously.

Besides friends danced together all the time, so it wasn’t even a big deal! Not that Virgil was going to dance with anyone at all because of his two left feet. So that was that about that.

The DJ began to hype the guests up and Roman dragged Patton to the dance floor for the ‘real’ party to begin. As the lights turned down, the purple glow from behind the DJ stand became more apparent, the light gently caressing Remus’s features and reflecting in his eyes. Virgil could vaguely make out a pounding baseline in the background, but everything else just seemed to fade out as time came to a stand still. If Virgil had been capable of thought, he might have been embarrassed for staring, but Remus was staring right back and so any and all cognition was halted.

“Virge?”

Virgil was vaulted back into his body that was then a lot closer to Remus than when he had slipped out of it. Suddenly he was drowning from the volume and the heat. It was too much. Without a word, Remus led him outside into the night. They found a bench to sit on, where Virgil leaned on Remus to ground himself.

“You ok?” “Yeah, sorry. I’m not really sure what happened there,” Virgil tried to laugh. “Don’t worry about it. It was stuffy in there anyway.”

Virgil remained silent in hopes that Remus somehow wouldn’t be able to see through him this time.

“You know, even if Janus wasn’t busy, I would have asked you first.” “Why?”

Remus didn’t speak for a while, but somehow the silence wasn’t tense or uncomfortable. Virgil knew Remus would answer him when he was ready. He always did.

In the meantime, they could hear the music where they were, though it was much quieter. A few songs played as they sat leaning on each other with the scent of flowers heavy in the air. The night was dark but warm and with a gentle breeze. Tree frogs chirped and some birds sang. It really was a nice night. Romantic, some might say, but Virgil wasn’t much for romance. At least he never had been. Then the song changed to something slow and gentle which pretty much sealed it.

Remus stood up and offered a hand. “May I have this dance?” “Remus.” “C’mon, it’ll be fun!” “You know I have two left feet.” “S’alright if you step on my toes. You don’t weigh that much.” “Remus.” “Please?” Remus moved ever closer, whispering into his ear, “I’ll make it up to you.” “Wh- I- Huh?” Virgil was glad for the dimness of the area that would hopefully cover up how red his cheeks were suddenly getting. “Besides,” he leaned back again, “no one will see us out here anyway.” “O-oh. Um, well… I guess…”

Remus’s laugh was softer than Virgil had ever heard it. Well, that wasn’t quite true. They’d stayed up late before, just the two of them, and Virgil had said something stupid, he couldn’t really remember what, but it had been like this that time, too. He let himself be pulled up and forward. Remus put one hand on his hip and held his hand in the other. Virgil lightly placed a hand on Remus’s shoulder.

“Get comfortable. I won’t bite unless you ask me to.” “You’re the worst.” “You wouldn’t want me any other way.” Virgil huffed a laugh. “I guess.”

Remus led Virgil, slowly at first starting with just swaying, then moved to taking steps one at a time. They weren’t even going to the pace of the music, but it didn’t seem to matter to either of them. Virgil found it to be dissimilar to the scenario he’d concocted in his head, but he liked the real one better.

They continued slowly advancing long past when the song had ended and something else had come on. Virgil felt like he was getting the hang of it and it was actually pretty fun. They moved together, predicting each other like they’d been doing this for years. It was easy enough to fall in sync with each other which was less surprising the more Virgil thought about it.

Inevitably, Virgil stumbled into Remus who prevented him from falling further. Remus had moved his arms to catch him, and now both were around his waist holding him close.

“Hey there,” Remus whispered. “Um, hi,” Virgil whispered back.

Remus looked like he wanted to say something, so Virgil waited.

“You're beautiful.”

Virgil absolutely did not squeak, don't believe Remus when he tells you.

“I've wanted to tell you that for a long time.” “You've never hesitated to speak your mind before.” “There hasn't been anything this important to me before.” “Remus… What are you… ?” “You don't know?”

There it was. The thing that Virgil knew he knew but had tricked himself into not knowing for the sake of his sanity. That little fact that scared and excited him. The answer to his question ‘Why?’

“Tell me anyway?” “I really like you, Virgil. I want to take you on real dates and be your real boyfriend.”

Now, Virgil had never had a boyfriend before, never been on a date, never even held hands with someone he was interested in. This made him nervous. What if they had a fight and broke up and it ruined everything and Janus took his side and left Virgil all alone? But what if rejecting him had the same effect? How could he survive without his best friends? He'd have to move to Alaska and become a fisherman and he really sucked at fishing-

“I can hear you overthinking it. Forget about everything else, whatever eventualities you're running. What do you want right now? How do you feel? I'm not going to abandon you for not feeling the same way.”

Virgil sighed, partially in relief. Somehow Remus could always read him like a book.

“Right now… I want to stay here. Like this. With you. I feel- I feel… like I hadn’t even dared to think about it because you’re important to me, Rem. I want you in my life. I don’t know what I’d do without you. But…” “But?” “But now I’m thinking about it. And I’m thinking that the things I’m feeling maybe aren’t totally platonic. I just don’t want to say I feel the same and be wrong.” “Then how about this: Virgil, would you allow me to take you on a date? And if you enjoy it, another one after that?” “I- I think I’d like that. A lot.” “Then a date it is. We can worry about the rest later.” “You know I’m not really good at putting off worrying.” “Then I’ll just have to distract you until then.” “And how do you plan on doing that?” “Hmm…” Remus leaned back slightly and looked up to the right, pretending to think. “Well there is one thing that might work?” “What’s that?” “Can I kiss you?”

Virgil’s mind stuttered to a halt and all function ceased. Even his heart felt like it skipped a beat.

“Kiss? Me?” The wheels in his head began turning again, slowly at first, then going a mile a minute. “Well, um, if you want to. You don’t have to obviously, I don’t want to push, and if that’s too fast, or if you never want to-” “Rem?” “- that’s ok, too, I mean, like obviously. And we can totally do anything else-” “Rem.” “- it’s no problem. Hey actually, why don’t we go back in and pretend this never happened-” “Remus!” Remus swallowed. “Um. Yeah?” “Just kiss me already, stupid.” “O-oh. Right! Ok!”

When they got back to Virgil’s house, his mom was waiting for them on the front porch. They got out and Virgil let Remus go first with a poorly concealed grin. Yeah, this was going to be fun for one of them, and that one was not Remus.

“Hi, Auntie.” Remus was more than a bit nervous, but to be fair Virgil's mom was the most intimidating 4’10“ woman you'd ever meet. “If you hurt my Virgil, I will use the good pan.” “Yes, ma'am!” “Good boy. Now show me the pictures!”

#dukexiety #virgil sander #remus sanders #janus sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #royality #sanders sides #siding fic

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skeletinmoss · 2 months ago

Text

The curse of the dark Phoenix

Chapter 23: Evolution

First chapter | Previous | Next

"Everything alright?"

Roman looked beside him.

Virgil was propping himself up on his side. His hair cascading down like rivers of obsidian.

Mixed eyes, looking at him worriedly.

"I... that dream," Roman gasped, hoping his emotions made more sense to Virgil than to him. He was in awe, but he also felt like crying.

"I was worried it might be overwhelming to meet them," Virgil mused.

"You knew that would happen?" Roman realized.

"It's tradition to let the new high mages get surprised by it. It's usually an amazing experience, and no one wants to spoil the excitement. But I imagine Magic was a bit overwhelming. It's never going to happen without you seeking it out again," he promised.

Roman took some time to process that.

Magic... and all the others had appeared too, come to think of it... that... wow...

He was about to ask something.

"No one will tell you about their first dream. It is very personal, and comparison is the thief of joy," Virgil warned.

That made sense.

Virgil gave him a sweet kiss on the lips.

"Ready to go see Logan ascend, or do you need a minute?" Virgil wondered, gently stroking his face.

Roman sank into the gesture. "I'm fine," he promised. "Logan won't be though. Dreaming like that... he'll lose his mind," he mused fondly.

Virgil chuckled. "Come on. I also want to get your flying lesson started as soon as possible. It would be great to fly together on our way to the ruins," Virgil offered.

Roman blushed, fairly certain he would mess up, but also excited to fly.

Virgil squeezed his hand comfortingly. Roman looked up at him and smiled a little at Virgil's quirked brow.

True. He'd seen him struggle to learn it on his own. He wouldn't judge.

"Let's see Logan have his moment," he allowed with a quick kiss to Virgil's lips.

Virgil chuckled and chased Roman's lips just a bit longer before getting up and getting dressed again in something a bit more formal.

"I'm operating in my official capacity as high Mage of the council," he shrugged when he spotted Roman eying the purple robes and cloak adorned with gold and amethyst, more in line with what he wore when they just met.

"Looks good on you," he offered.

"Thanks. Though I'm willing to bet it I'd out of style," he mused. "No one will care," he promised. He took Virgil’s hand and placed a kiss on it.

"Come on. Before I decide to keep you in my bed for another hour," Virgil scolded, pulling a now flustered Roman along.

Virgil let go of Roman's hand right before they entered the council room.

Eleven chairs were set up around a half circle table, with the king's throne at the center.

In the middle of the floor was a mosaic of clear gems as far as Roman could tell. Likely, it was designed to be a magic conduit for communication and presentation.

Logan was standing in the middle, looking back at them in a way that reminded Roman of the countless presentations he’d seen him do.

The look that seemed confident and in control to everyone else. But he and Patton knew that he was dying on the inside.

Remus was sat in one of the chairs that held an overlapping sun and moon above it. It was off on the lopsided end.

Patton was a few chairs over in the one with an ocean design above it.

Janus’ chair was second on the left of the center and held a sickle.

The king was at the center in a throne (not included in the eleven chairs).

Virgil laid a hand on the small of Roman’s back and put him in the chair second to the king’s right, holding a moon above. Virgil sat between Roman and the king, his chair decorated with stars.

“Ready Logan?” Virgil wondered.

Logan took a deep breath. “As I’ll ever be,” he decided.

“Alright. We wish you luck,” Virgil offered.

Logan closed his eyes and lowered his head. He took slow deliberate breaths.

Slowly, his fingertips started to glow. Then it spread up to his hands, wrists, underarms, elbows, up his arms to his shoulders down his chest and then to his stomach, hips and legs. Only when it reached the tips of his toes did Logan take an extra deep breath and let the glow go up his neck where it paused for a worrying moment, Virgil raised his hand to stop Roman from rushing to his friend. The light phoenix mage got the idea that interrupting could be dangerous for everyone involved.

Another deep breath, and the tension left Logan's face. The glow enveloping him and becoming blinding. The floor beneath him glowing in the same dark blue as he did.

Then it seemed to explode and Roman shot up out of his chair despite himself, eyes wide. The light spread through the room and swirled in dazzling patterns. Pulsing and twisting. A little like Stardust’s non corporeal form.

Then Roman heard a neigh and he realized that the logan shaped light looked like a rearing unicorn. The light swirling back to it like it was the center of a galaxy. Then the light dimmed and it became logan shaped again until Logan was in front of them. Not glowing, but swaying on his legs.

Janus leaped over the table and rushed to catch him as he lost his balance.

"Did I do it?" He asked disoriented.

"Yes," Janus smiled fondly. “You did great,” he offered assessing him for a long moment.

“Do you want to rest up?" he asked.

Logan shook his head and righted himself. "Let's finish the meeting first," he suggested.

Janus chuckled and led him to a chair that depicted scales before settling back into his own chair.

"Let's see if the map still listens to me," he suggested, only to be stopped by Virgil.

"I believe it would only be right to let our king do the honors," he suggested.

"Me? Really?" King Yhomas asked, Excitement clear in his voice.

"Of course really. I didn't teach you how to comand the council room just for fun," Virgil insisted.

Janus nodded and gestured for the king to go ahead.

Thomas took a deep breath and held out his hand.

Roman imagined that it was strange to use magic in the open again. He assumed that the king had been practicing in secret until now. The truthspel would not have worked if he hadn't done any magic since the plague.

The gem floor lit up pink, and then an illusion map of their kingdom rose from the ground. Gorgeously detailed as though it was a to scale replica.

Remus stood up.

"Me and Pattycake figured which ruins Gussy boy might've been talking about," he informed the gathered group.

Patton rose as well. "Remus knew of five ruins in the general direction Gustav mentioned," he said as five white lights showed on the map.

"That one, has collapsed," Remus pointed our, making one of the lights fade out.

"Those two are too close to a main road, people know about them," Patton continued and two more lights went out.

"Which leaves us with two. Now this is an educated guess at best. But i think he's not gonna be in tgat one. Too close to the mountains. There is always a risk of a rockslide wiping it off the map. Which leaves us with that one," Remus finished.

And with that, only one light remained for a few moments. Then Virgil stood up and a new light lit up at the capitol. A glowing thread made its way out and stopped a bit outside the gates showing up again a good distance from the ruins and making its way through a forest past a village, through a swamp back into a forest and finally reaching the ruins

"A day's travel," Virgil decided. Roman was distracted though.

"Oh. Your path goes straight through our home!" he realized.

"Oh we could visit our parents!!!" Patton cheered.

"If the elder mages and the king agree," Logan argued, though Roman caught him glancing at the miniature version of their hometown with a hint of longing.

"Elder?" Janus protested.

"Janus, we predate the kingdom. Elder is putting it mildly," Virgil corrected before addressing the request.

"We have to take a break at some point anyway. So long as you feel like your home won't start spreading undue rumors before the king has decided to address the change and inform the public, I can't think of a reason why we shouldn't take the opportunity to greet your families," he offered looking at Roman. "I'm looking forward to seeing your home and congratulate your families on raising such exemplary mages," he added. Roman blushed.

He was a bit nervous.

The king cleared his throat. "Yes, on the subject of information sharing..." A discussion began about the pros and cons of telling the public what they knew now vs telling the public what they knew after they had the full picture.

Roman was only half paying attention though. He and Virgil were silently discussing Virgil meeting Roman's parents.

Virgil was looking forward to it, and so was Roman. He was just not sure how to explain to them how they worked. Virgil reassured him. Both of his affection and hid conviction that it'd work out.

"Could you both put us out of our misery and kiss already?" Logan chided.

Virgil chuckled. "Spoilsport," he teased before pulling Roman in and kissing him passionately. Leaving Roman completely baffled.

It was a good kiss. A great kiss. It made him just as happy as the first had. It also gave him a massive gay panic because sweet stars above! Virgil had been holding back!

With almost no warning Virgil pulled away. Leaving Roman breathless. The elder mage felt a bit smug at his lack of composure. Oh he was so lucky he loved him.

"What!?" Remus screeched.

"Since when do you smooch!?" He demanded.

"Since I was 16," Virgil replied triumphantly. Clearly Remus' reaction was everything he'd hoped for.

"Are you even a Virgin!?" Remus demanded accusingly.

"Oh, so we were still doing this. I wasn't entirely sure," Janus said bemused.

"You knew!?" Remus gasped betrayed.

"Of course. I caught him celebrating graduating in the dorms," Janus smirked smugly.

Remus just stared between his friends in shock.

"Definitely worth it," Virgil grinned smugly.

"I think you broke them," Patton observed.

Virgil glanced at Roman thoughtfully.

"I'll make it up to him," he mused. Pausing for a lewd remark that didn't come.

"I suggest the rest of you go sleep. Janus hasn't slept yet and the rest of us haven't rested since before we saved Janus.

Roman and I will make due with an hour of meditation after flying lessons," he announced. That snapped Roman back to reality. Virgil saw his bewildered expression and stroked his cheek on comfort. He wouldn't let anything bad happen to him.

"I think I might have made it worse," Logan sighed tiredly.

"Indeed. Let's get you to bed," Janus suggested.

"Have fun," Patton offered as he led Remus out the door.

"Ahm... good luck with the lesson... we should catch up properly later," the king insisted as he got up.

"Of course. If you need some help with navigating things without the council, just come to the courtyard. I'll advise however I can." Virgil promised sincerely.

Thomas relaxed and nodded.

"Of course. But don't rush on my account. I would rather not send the light phoenix out with clipped wings," he insisted.

Virgil smiled at the reborn king and laid his hands on his shoulders. "I am proud of you, Thomas. And your parents would be too. You kept the country going with an incompetent council. You did well," he promised.

Thomas bit his lip and nodded.

"I should get back to work. I have a palace to convince that I am still me," he joked, clearly emotional. Virgil nodded in understanding and let him go.

Once they were alone he grabbed Roman by the hand and pulled him along to the courtyard. He was clearly excited.

Roman finally gathered himself enough to speak again.

"Was the tongue necessary?" he asked, still flustered.

"You didn't mind," Virgil teased. That was true...

"I didn't intend to embarrass you," he added a little remorseful. "I wanted to shock Remus and catch Logan of guard. But I never meant to cause you discomfort," he vowed sincerely as they faced one another in a big open spot in the courtyard, a good few feet away from pillars and the statue at the center, bathing in sunlight, causing Virgil's semi curse form to come through.

"It's alright. I was mostly taken off guard. But you already knew that," Roman smiled. Virgil chuckled and cast a spell on them. Illusion, Roman knew instantly.

"So the staff doesn't get a heart attack when they spot two phoenixes on castle grounds," Virgil explained before taking Roman's hands and squeezing them.

Roman nodded. He was ready. Or as ready as he could be.

He took a few deep breaths, let go of his human form, and let himself flow back into his phoenix form. It was weird. Becoming a horse had been so uncomfortable. But this... it was as simple as shifting position on a couch.

He could easily imagine that if he'd realized what had happened when he ascended, going back to any solid form would have been hard amidst the chaos.

He shook himself out, feeling his new body.

"Everything in place?" Virgil wondered bemused. Roman looked up. There was something breathtaking about how the sun hit Virgil's feathers.

He righted himself and nodded.

"Good. Now, you have the benefit of having experienced flight and flying lessons through my memory. So you have a bit of a head start. Ready to try and take off?" Virgil wondered.

"Yeah," Roman assured him, though he wasn’t entirely sure if he was ready. Still. It was too late to turn back.

He spread his wings and lowered his chest. He bent through his knees, ready to give himself a boost.

"Angle your wings a bit more," Virgil advised. Roman made the adjustment and then...

He almost immediately fell to his face.

"You made it almost 10 feet," Virgil offered. "You panicked. Don't look down. Keep your eye on the sky," Virgil advised gently.

Roman got up and nodded. He'd felt it. The angle of his wing, the moment of hesitation, the overcorrection.

He tried again.

"That emergency landing was much better!" Virgil praised sincerely.

Roman was grateful he'd landed on his feet this time.

He shook himself off and got ready again. He was close. He could feel it.

He simply had to ready himself, go through the steps a bit faster and...

"There you go. You made some distance and you got some height!" Virgil praised proudly as Roman clumsily landed on the statue of King Arthur at the center.

"It should be much easier from there! Just take a leap!" Virgil encouraged. Roman looked up at the sky. His heart ached with a longing to be there.

He could do it. He could fix his grip, lower his body, launch himself, spread his wings, and...

"You are doing it!" Virgil announced in excitement from the ground as soon as Roman became steady in the air. The wind greeted him like an old friend.

He looked to his left and found Virgil flying alongside him.

"Great job, Roman. Want to do a victory lap?" Virgil guessed.

Roman let out a joyous cry and sped up in answer.

They flew for hours. Virgil showed him how to turn and dive and climb. How to let the wind work in your favor. Roman needed some time to get fully confident in the sky, and it wasn’t quite as second nature to him as it was to Virgil, but it did make his heart sing every time he managed a new challenge. After a little while, they just enjoyed the sky together in silence.

"This is amazing," Roman sighed as they put the now descending sun behind them.

"We probably should eat something soon," Virgil mused.

That did sound like a good idea. They flew past one of the balconies.

"I'm going to catch up with Thomas," Virgil announced as they spotted a figure standing on it.

"I'll give you some privacy. I'll see you..." Roman wasn't sure where to meet.

"The dining room. I'm sure the cooks can put something together for us," Virgil suggested.

Roman nodded his agreement.

"See ya later," Virgil bid before taking a turn and heading down to meet the king on the balcony. Roman enjoyed the sky for a bit longer until he spotted a figure on a different balcony. His attention drawn by the sun reflecting in a pair of glasses.

He circled closer, and when he was certain, he recognized the figure he transformed and landed beside him.

"Can't sleep?" he guessed as he leaned on the banister next to Logan.

"I slept quite well. I just need a bit of time to process before I can finish the full eight hours," Logan informed him. Clearly he had been welcomed as well.

“Yeah, it’s intense,” Roman acknowledged. “Virgil advised not to swap stories since it’s super personal and stuff. It’s kinda kiss and tell I think,” he mused.

Logan chuckled. “Maybe you and Remus are related after all,” he teased. Roman gave him a light shove and they both chuckled.

They looked over the kingdom for a few moments.

“Last time we were here, I wouldn’t have been able to even imagine any of this,” Roman sighed. He wasn’t talking about the view.

“Me either. But you always had the better imagination, so I didn’t stand a chance really,” Logan offered. There was a tinge to his voice. Maybe it was because Roman had started to learn to talk through emotions with Virgil half the time that he even picked up on it. Logan wasn’t one for letting his feelings spill out too noticeably.

“Remus wasn’t entirely wrong about me being jealous,” he confessed after another long moment of silence, taking Roman entirely off guard.

“Why?” he asked baffled.

“When we started this, we were the perfect team. I know I give you both a hard time about being easily distracted or having a harder time studying. But I always deeply admired you both for your own reasons. Patton is so… He has this way of understanding people and creatures, always has.

And you play a crowd so easily and you can get people to like you in an instant if you so choose. You made a magical bond on accident and I don’t care how basic it was, it was executed flawlessly. On top of that you are so creative!

I… I’m the studious one. I’m good at research and planning and academics. I liked being able to help you both study. I always knew that there would come a point where that aptitude would be compensated by your talent and practice. But I’d hoped that by that time, I’d figure out a different thing… But when we became mages… And then great mages. That wasn’t academic. That was on feeling. And I’m no good at that.

If magic, from this point onwards is mostly driven from the inside,” Logan laid a hand to his chest, frowning disturbed. “I just know I’ll be hopelessly behind before long,” he finally confessed.

Roman was stunned. “First. Thank you for the complement. I didn’t know you felt that way,” he admitted. Logan had said something about Roman being smart in his own way, but part of him had thought that he’d just said that to reassure him after accidently hurting his feelings.

“I know. It’s… It has been hard, admitting when I’m bad at something,” Logan confessed.

“Second. You are more than a bookish guy. You have passion and dedication like no one else. The attention you have for detail is nuts. Virgil let you translate those notes because he knew you’d be the best guy for the job. And you are so brave! You voluntarily chose to be a diviner. The hardest, most dangerous of the arts as far as we knew at the time,” he pointed out. Logan thought about that for a long moment and then smiled.

“Thank you Roman. You are right,” he decided after a bit. He pushed away from the banister.

“One of these days, I would like to find out which one of us is faster,” he teased. Roman’s eyes glinted. Oh, it was so on!

Logan and Roman had a few things in common. One being their notorious competitive streak.

“And maybe, you could give me some pointers on the Janus situation,” Logan added with a blush.

“Wait you like him for real?” Roman asked baffled.

Logan shrugged. “I think I might,” he admitted. “I just… Need to know if he’s serious or just having fun first,” he added.

Roman nodded. That was fair. “Well, we’ll be traveling together soon. Something tells me we’ll get to know all three of them a lot better by the time we’re back,” he said.

“You are probably right. Well, I’ll see you later. Enjoy your quality time with your boyfriend Roman, I hope he makes you happy,” Logan said sincerely before returning inside.

Boyfriend huh… Yeah, he guessed that that was what they were now…

His stomach growled.

Food. Food and then rest.

#sanders sides #prinxiety #logan sanders #ts logan #ts janus #janus sanders #loceit #lociet #the dark phoenix au

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bailey-orphic08 · 1 year ago

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Virgil's Gift: An Analysis on It's Symbolism and Possible Foreshadowing

Obvious spoilers for Thomas' newest Sander Asides video: What Makes the Perfect Gift? Go watch it if you haven't.

So the yearly Sander Sides Christmas special dropped hours ago. (Yippee!) And there's a surprisingly large amount to be said for it to be a 13 minute long Christmas special. In fact, I'd say it's the most story focused episode since Can Plushies Improve Our Health?, and that was an ad for the Sander Sides plushies. There's just so much to talk about this episode. There's the implications of Janus and Remus being invited to play Secret Santa; the mystery to what Thomas' message was with his gift to Nico; the underlying tension between all the sides that reminds us of the angst we've already seen and how things still aren't completely alright and that the worst is yet to come; and, most notable of all, the question as to WHY THE HELL REMUS WOULD WANT TO F*CK ANDREW JACKSON??

But the most interesting thing to me is Virgil's gift to Logan, his reaction, and how it reflects Logan's current situation.

Virgil gives Logan a newspaper, claiming that it seems like something he would like. Logan however, does not read newspapers and is very disappointed by the gift. Remus and Janus make some comments on how unthoughtful Virgil's gift appears. But at the end of the episode, Logan finds out that the newspaper actually has a secret message and is the first puzzle of an entire scavenger hunt, which excites him a lot.

This is by far my favorite part of the episode. Not only is it heartwarming, it also symbolizes how Logan has been treated as a whole, and may even foreshadow future events in the series.

When Virgil gives Logan the newspaper, Logan is very confused, and asks him why he would give him a newspaper. Virgil replies, "Cuz' you're the Mr. Smarty Pants of the group. You like reading and all that." Logan is still confused though. Yes, he likes to read, but that doesn't mean he will read anything. Roman chimes in with Virgil, reinforcing that they think Logan will like it. Logan says, "Is that all I am to you? The reading guy?..." And Virgil replies, "I don't know man, give it a read! I'm sure it has something you like."

This entire interaction represents how Logan has been ignored and misunderstood throughout the entire series. Virgil gives Logan a newspaper, something he doesn't actually want, because he assumes he will like it since he likes to read in general. He made an assumption on Logan's personality based off things he already knew, something Thomas and all of the other sides have been doing since the beginning. Throughout the entire series, Logan is considered the smart one of the group who always provides information and exposition, and little else is expected of him. In ACCEPTING ANXIETY part one, Thomas assumes that Logan knew what his problem was because he provides, "the explanatory exposition in [the Sander Sides] videos because all the other characters are too zany or relatable." And in Selfishness v. Selflessness, Logan is benched after providing information that supports both Patton and Janus' sides because they assume he has nothing else to offer. Time and time again Logan is reduced to his function and the traits that go along with it, such as liking to read. And why these things about him are true, he is far more complex that who they see him as. But, as Virgil didn't seem to care to get him something he would actually like, they don't seem to care to learn more about Logan...

They do care though. And that's shown through the twist at the end. When Logan discovers that it's a puzzle, Virgil jokes, "And you thought I would just get you a newspaper. Tsk. What do you take me for?" Though it appeared Virgil didn't put much consideration into the gift, and though Logan believed Virgil didn't, he did, because he truly cares about Logan. And throughout the entire series, though they don't always listen to him, Thomas and the sides show that they care about Logan. Patton is always nice to him, Roman, while the most harsh to him, does secretly respect him, and Thomas, as shown in the song, "Incomplete," is not only aware that Logan has feelings and is more than just logic, he wants Logan to accept it as well. He also seems empathetic when Logan is disappointed with his gift. This represents how Logan's insecurities get in the way of him being fully accepted. Logan is convinced that Thomas and the sides will only ever see him as his function, and that they do not care about his other traits. This is one of the reasons he represses his emotions, and is shown by how quickly Logan believes Virgil got him a newspaper simply because he likes to read. Though Logan may not realize it, Thomas and the sides love and accept him fully, and Logan needs to see that.

However, it seems that someone doesn't want him to see that...

And that's where the foreshadowing comes into play.

After the conversation Virgil gives Logan his gift, Janus chimes in, saying, "Wow Logan, looks like Virgil put a lot of thought into that one!" He emphasizes how little consideration Virgil's gift seemed to have. In doing this, he reinforces the idea to Logan that Virgil didn't care enough to give him a gift he would like, even though that's not actually true. And if he his doing this intentionally, he may also be reinforcing the idea that they don't care about him.

And Remus soon after joins in, proposing, "Kinda makes you wanna scream, huh?" This is obviously a callback to Logan's outburst in Working THROUGH Intrusive Thoughts. In that episode, Remus showed great excitement towards his outburst, implying that Remus wanted him to get upset. And now again, he suggests that Logan should get angry about it. It is very clear that Remus is trying to make Logan lash out on purpose.

Based off this, I believe that in future episodes, we will see the dark sides, or Remus at least, try to manipulate Logan into believing that Thomas and the sides don't care about him. In doing this, they'll persuade him into joining their side. Perhaps they'll make him a puppet for the Orange Side, or if Logan is the Orange Side, they will make him embrace it. Of course their plan won't work out though. Because even if the do get Logan to join them for a little, the other sides will show that they care. And perhaps if they do, Logan will finally be able to see that, and he will finally be able to accept himself.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #tss #logan sanders #ts logan #logan sanders angst #virgil sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #ts sides #tss theory

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thatdesolatefander · 6 days ago

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AU idea:

Virgil has always lived with the light sides, but he was accepted at the same time as canon. As a kid, his powers were weak and he was brushed off. The others didn't mean to (maybe?), but they neglected Virgil out of fear of what he represented. They didn't even bother to know his name.

But every so often the light sides would have dinner with the dark sides, because the dark sides had a lot of information about what was bother Thomas. Neither side really liked each other, the dinners were practically bussiness meetings.

S9metimes, in the middle of dinner kid Virgil would walk over to one of the dark sides and ask for something, whether it be asking for a bath, a cookie, or a general question changed. Virgil just wanted attention.

And every single time, the dark side he asked would drop everything in order to give him attention and whatever else he asked for.

Eventually, the light sides had Virgil move in with the dark sides because they didnxt want him around. Still, Virgil would always show up in front of Thomas with the other light sides.

He was trapped between two worlds.

When Virgil got older, he forgot about the time he lived with the Light Sides when he was younger. He didn't know why Janus and Remus didn't believe that they would ever accept him amd welcome him. Janud and Remus remembered the neglected child they practically rescued from the light sides inepetude (or however that is spelled), and they were scared for Virgil. But Virgil didn't understand that, he thought that Janus and Remus didn't see anything in him worth loving.

This leads to them fighting and having a falling out. Virgil resents Remus and Janus, but the two remaining darksides still loves Virgil. Still, Janus plays the role of a villian because he thinks that is what Virgil wants. And if Remus and Janus are constantly looking out for Virgil through it all? Virgil never has to find out. He will never have to confront his forgotten memories.

I'm thinking of this AU being called the Forgotten Memories AU, but idk if I will bring this idea back.

#sander sides #virgil sanders #au idea #forgotten memories au #famalial anceit #familial whatever Remus and Virgil's ship name is #I love virgil being torn between light and dark sides

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meandmacats · 1 year ago

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Some sides head cannons, but it’s super obvious who my favorite side is:

Both Remus and Roman glow, but Roman is more of a Disney fairy magic way and Remus is closer to bioluminescent like deep sea creatures

The imagination is not physically split into Remus’ and Roman’s sided, but rather just a collection of both of their creations in a space too big for either to largely effect the other

Remus is a big softie when he’s not being gross

Roman is asexual

Remus is aromantic

Roman and remus have literal twin telepathy

Roman has a black streak(mirroring Remus’ white steak)

Roman can get burnout, but Remus can’t despite them both being creativity(Roman is used as the main creativity)

When in burnout, Roman runs a fever and attempting to interact with any creative pursuits immediately chars it

Roman’s role of Ego is under the Sigmund Froid definition where it is a representation of the self rather than just self worth

Remus played Undertale and first played a true pacifist route where he attacked each monster until they were ready to spare(he loved the amalgamations)

Patton actually can’t cook(not for lack of effort)

Roman is trying to learn more Romance languages

Remus knows German

Janus knows ASL

Logan has always had issues with Pattons black and white thinking, but decided to ignore it

Remus is ferally protective

Janus can smell lies the same way snakes smell(sticking out tongue) so he doesn’t do it often

Repressing Remus is like punching an inflatable punching bag

Janus actually can’t think of lies. He encourages it, but he doesn’t actually come up with the excuses

Janus only knows psychology for lying, he doesn’t know any for the other sides

Intrusive thoughts warn the body of danger and can help keep the shot alert. When this is revealed to the other sides, Remus tries to be as obnoxious and aggressive with the intrusive thoughts as possible to try to convince them otherwise

There is actually a difference in abilities between dark and light sides

Dark sides abilities are:

see no evil-tunnel vision from Remus

hear no evil- Virgil’s voice thing(known to over rule all other sides in input)

speak no evil-Janus silence(literally hiding things from Thomas he doesn’t want to know)

Roman can speak to and understand animals in the Imagination like a Disney Prince

Remus is really good with animals

Roman and Logan bond over rhymes, poetry, and word-play

Logan can cook, but he can’t experiment with cooking

Roman can cook, but he struggles to actually follow the instructions

Remus can “cook,” but it’s not “food”

Janus can cook for himself and no one else

Virgil is to anxious to cook most days, occasionally finds baking relaxing

Patton can bake

Roman and Remus are closer than they present themselves to the others

Roman gets ego bruises

Remus gets antsy if he doesn’t harass Thomas

Roman is a much better actor than he lets on

Roman intentionally played characters badly in Can Lying be Good? because he knew that Thomas would not be able to handle true immersion into the scene

Logan is naturally ambidextrous

Roman learned to be ambidextrous

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clinically-obssessed · 10 months ago

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Remus' Purpose

So far in Sanders Sides, we have seen that two of "dark sides" - Virgil and Janus - are just as essential to Thomas as the "light sides." Without Virgil, Thomas has no motivation, and Janus introduces an element of self-preservation that would otherwise be absent. But what about Remus? So far, all we know is that he represents intrusive thougts, but we have not yet seen in what way he helps Thomas. And it's not immediately obvious that he does at all: the two episodes in which he appears as a major character portray him as pathological, focusing on strategies to help Thomas cope with and avoid intrusive thoughts. But I think, given the show's increasing attention to Patton's overly strict ethical rules, Remus will play a key role in helping Thomas accept himself and change his attitude toward morality

In his introductory song, Remus sings a number of lines that relate to morality. He begins with a Biblical allusion, drawing a parallel between Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit and Thomas learning about Remus. He says, "Adam and Eve bought knowledge for the small price of a little sin," framing Thomas' own pursuit of self-knowledge as a transaction that requires him to break his moral rules. Later in the song, he states that "Good and bad are all made up nonsense" and that "everybody cheats, everybody lies, so why deny yourself knowledge?" which attempts to justify Thomas' descent into sin. This is further reinforced by Remus' assertion that "these kinds of things are only thought in the mind of a man whose soul is truly rotten," which is intended to dispel Thomas' self-image as morally righteous. In Remus' view, what is holding Thomas back from understanding himself and reaching his full creative potential is that he is too caught up in false notions of morality, and it is only by dropping these pretenses that he can truly achieve his goals.

At this point, you should be screaming, "Whoa! That sounds exactly like the philosophy of Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844-1900)!" That is precisely because I've described it in a way that is intentionally similar to the philosophy of Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844-1900). I think that drawing this parallel will allow us to understand the character's direction. Nietzsche was a highly influential philosopher because of his rejection of most things everyone else - even philosophers - took for granted. His writing is complex and difficult to interpret - likely intentionally so - but one of his most famous ideas is that morality is subjective. He criticized Christian morality as "slave morality", claiming that it celebrates weakness and keeps people from achieving their true potential. Additionally, he believed that the metaphysical claims of Christianity were becoming less and less believable in the face of advancements in science and philosophy, so Christian ethics no longer had any grounding either. Instead, he says, it is up to every individual person to give their life meaning. To him, there is no objective truth, only each person's will to power. In this new world that can no longer find answers in God, everyone must strive toward an ideal known as the ubermensch, or "overman," a person who is able to overcome their own weaknesses, create new things, and affirm all aspects of life.

The similarities between Nietzsche and Remus are clear. Both embrace self-understanding, value creativity, and reject moral systems as barriers to achieving one's goals. Furthermore, they share a particular orientation toward controversy. Nietzsche's work is filled with contradictions, and his style is exaggerated and extreme, suggesting that his writings do not form a logically coherent philosophical system or even necessarily reflect his own beliefs but are rather intended to challenge societal norms and promote critical thinking. In the same way, Remus intentionally gives Thomas uncomfortable and disgusting thoughts which he knows will contradict Thomas' morality in order to force him to question his values and assumptions about himself.

With this in mind, it seems likely that Remus will play a major role in the finale. The arc of the show has been focused heavily on the idea of morality, and as "Putting Others First" revealed, Patton's standards are only hurting Thomas' mental health. Janus made the case for the importance of self-care using psychology, but his argument is not fully convincing. As Roman pointed out, it is necessary to find a balance between selfishness and selflessness, and Janus does not answer his question of "When is it enough?" Therefore, it may be necessary for Remus to come in and force Thomas to confront the fact that Patton's morality is not only hurting him but it is based on false premises to begin with. By bringing ugly realities to the surface, Remus will challenge Thomas to stop passively accepting the moral codes that have been handed down to him by society and to create his own meaning and values that serve him.

#sanders sides #sanders sides theory #sanders sides analysis #ts sides #remus sanders #ts remus

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asksuccubussides · 2 months ago

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What if you were an asexual succubus, wouldn't that be fucked up or what

Chapter 22

Masterpost of chapter

"What the bloody hell are you blabbering on about?!" Janus methodically locked eyes with each of the demons as he yelled "Virgil? My Virgil? The guy who can't order food on his own? He would be anything but human? Oh yeah because that makes ssssso much sense!"

Logan missed the sarcasm completely, "Yes it does make sense, or else you would be dead right now"

For the time being Remus could tell Janus that the sky was blue and he wouldn't believe but Logan saying it made Virgil being non-human seem far too real. The memories of Virgil's foster parents always mysteriously getting ill soon after adopting him and having to return him to the orphanage came flooding back. His panic at even the thought of Janus moving away from him. His-

Janus couldn't hold back his erupting laughter. He laughed while his chest heaved up and down and his fingers snapped over and over to hold themself busy "This isn't real. That's not real. Nope. Nope. I'm putting that away. I'm not thinking about it. Nope" The vein near his temples looked like it was about to burst "What I need- What I need is…Is….Chocolate. Yes. Perfect. I just need a self care day. Yes. Yep Yep"

Patton glanced over to his husband and shrugged as if to ask if this was a appropriate human reaction or not. Logan half shook his head.

The human suddenly turned and walked back into the house to which the demons quickly followed, Remus followed with his tail literally between his legs. Janus was walking circles in the kitchen while writing in the notepad he had found on the counter. The demons bundled up around the doorframe and watched the (to them) fragile human.

"You!" Janus said as he pointed to Patton. He ripped off the notepad page and pushed it against the demon's chest "Go to the closest store and buy all of this. Now!"

Patton took the note which was actually just a grocery list before doing a feeble attempt at cheering him up by going in for a big warm paternal hug but Janus swiftly moved out of the way.

"What definition of now are you living by because to me now means this second" The human snarked.

The older demon got the message and quickly flew away as Janus clicked the pen over and over and set his sights on Remus. He went up close to his ex-boyfriend and looked directly into his eyes at the same time that he rammed the point of the pen right into the spot of his bandages where the wound had been left on his arm

Remus' immediate reaction was so fake moan while his tail twitched slightly, twitch that quickly turned into a happy wag at how close Janus was to him even if he only was that close to hurt him.

"Please don't tell me to go away" Remus begged.

"Take off that stupid collar" Janus spat back. "You don't have the right to wear something that I gave you"

"Please. I don't even have to be your boyfriend or friend I just wanna be close to you. I can be your dog. I didn't wanna hurt you"

"Uhh I didn't want to hurt you wahhh"

Repeating his words like that was childish and Janus knew that but he couldn't muster anything any more mature. He pathetically grabbed at the collar and tried to pull it off but obviously it was way too sturdy to simply be pulled off like that.

"Just leave! Go fly around for an hour! I don't care! I am not the one who is supposed to be hiding away while you get to strot around the house! YOU are the one who should go and hide in shame!"

Remus let his head hung down as he snapped the collar off and let it drop to the ground "I saved your life. My brother would have killed you if I hadn't swooped in"

"Oh I see! I'm alive because of YOU! I'm alive because of Virgil! Is there someone else I've missed writing a thank you note to about my continued existance!"

"I just wanted to remind you I care about you" Remus hung his head in, for the first time, shame as he turned to leave I'll go and kick trees I guess"

He had already started to walk away when janus spat out "It's a bloody good thing you demons don't have parents because not even a mother could love anything about you!"

The demon laughed and spun midstep to show his smile "That's a good one!"

Once he had left and the only ones remaining in the kitchen were Janus and Logan the human slumped down by the table and put his head in his hands. The demon sat down next to him but didn't try to comfort him, he simply stayed by and watched in silence.

"Can you" Janus did an exasperated sigh "Can you tell me the rest of it? You had the plauge and then what happened? How are you....Still here?"

"My husband has more information than I do"

"I want to hear it from you though. Tell me"

Logan took his glasses off to rub the bride of his nose as if to bring the memories back "Alright. The fever admittedly makes my recollection a bit hazy but-"

Scotland 1625

The swollen buboes had at first only appeared around his neck but by thne Logan was already so feverish that he hadn't noticed them until Patton screamed at the sight of them. They spread until it became equally as painful to lay on his back as on his stomach. He was left in a crazed constant turning as he desperately tried to find some comfort.

Two days went by with Patton only leaving his side to retrieve water. Even during the short bursts where Logan was able to find some semblence of feverish sleep the demon still stayed sitting beside his bed.

He lost the ability to walk first, then the ability to think clearly, to hold a spoon without his hand shaking, to talk properly. Until he became too dehydrated to cry from pain. He woke up from a nightmare to see Patton sitting with his back turned to him making soup and when he looked down at his hands he noticed his veins were bulging out. As visible as the skin itself.

Logan reached out and meekly dragged in his lover's shirt to which Patton immediately turned to him. The human's words were so quiet that Pat had to lean forward until his horn nearly hit him in the eye.

"..Pat...I don't...want it to....to.....take days"

The demon didn't want to believe what he had heard "Please, Sweetiepie. Don't"

"The pillow..." Logan did a slight motion with his hand "Over my head"

Patton burst into hysteric tears but he didn't want to burden his dying lover and hid off in another part of the house. Logan could hear him crying for an hour before he came back with a kitchen knife in his hand. His horns that usually glowed such a beautiful sky blue had darkened into the navy of a sea during a storm.

"If you never left the monastery, if you had never met me, you wouldn't have caught it. You wouldn't be sick right now. It's my fault" Patton teared up again saying it but forced it back "I can't let you die because of me. I can't have your life on my hands. You have such a brilliant mind Lo, you shouldn't die this young"

(A few centuries later Logan for science's sake did an x-ray scan of himself and found tumors in their infancy lining his stomach meaning that even if the plague hadn't caught him cancer would have but of course Patton did not know that yet)

Logan tried to reach his hand out and wipe his lover's tear stained cheeks but his limb didn't listen to him. The demon moved closer and met his eyes.

"The Guardian Angel knew you were going to get sick. If they knew about your death they must know more. Can you hold on for just 2 more days? Please?"

He wanted to say that it was a weak hypothesis with no evidence behind but when he looked at the begging expression on Patton's eyes he couldn't say anything, much less no.

He tilted his head slightly and lifted his eyebrow to which Patton leant his head down and pressed a kiss against his lower arm.

"We don't have a lot of time. I need to get to Heaven fast. Logan may I eat a part of you? Sometimes it may take a bit for the higher ups to punish you if you only injure a human. I need to do something egregious. I'll take as little as I can"

The pain he was in was already so overbearing nothing Patton could possibly do would be worst. He nodded.

His lower arm was one of the few parts of his body that he buboes hadn't reached yet. It felt intimate, sensual even, when Patton rolled up his sleeve and measured the cut with the edge of the knife tapping lightly against his skin.

The demon kissed him long and hard before cutting down into him.

Oddly enough it didn't hurt much, it was a short spike of pain before it dispersed as his skin gave away and gave space for the knife. He clutched Patton's free hand close to his chest and watched his lover etch out a rectangular from his skin before pulling it off and cutting the last cord of skin keeping it attached to him.

Patton stared at the piece of meat in his hand for a moment before asking "Want to share?"

The human mouthed something and Patton filled in for him "For science!"

He placed the piece of flesh between Logan's teeth before starting to bite at it from the other side like a pair of talking dogs slurping on the same piece of spaghetti. Logan was too weak to eat anything more solid than soup so Patton swallowed most of it. He went green for a minute before steeling himself and quickly wrapping his lover's arm in tight bandages. He knew he didn't have long before Hell called for him.

Patton cupped his lover's cheeks and brought him close "I love you. I'll be back. I promise!! With all my heart! So please just wait for me!"

Logan tucked his chin forward to meet him in a kiss. He could feel bits of his skin stuck between the demon's teeth, he had never felt so loved.

He watched as Patton stood up and took a deep breathe before walking through the front door into Hell.

An hour passed and he kept staring at the door, waiting for it to move.

He waited.

And waited.

When he fell asleep he dreamt that Patton came back and woke up in fever hot sweat to see the cabin still empty.

He waited.

The sky turned black and his body turned cold as the wind blew through the not quite finisheed roof. He missed Patton's warm wings wrapping themself around him.

He waited.

The tips of his fingers turned black. necrosis had started despite the fact that he was still breathing. His veins became even more visible as his body slowly turned into a living corpse.

He waited.

His eyelids became heavy and hard to keep open. He tried but there was no waiting left in him. His body that had been stiff from the pressure of keeping his heart beating turned relaxed and he sunk farther down into the bed. The stench of his rotting skin hung in the air.

Logan had for many years assumed he was going to one day die alone but after meeting Patton he had for just a short while believed that assumption to be wrong.

The door swung open startling Logan's eyes into opening. A blurry vision in red came in. He wasn't even sure if it was Patton at first. It looked as if a bucket of paint had been dropped on him and his horns had turned a total black. He looked aged, not physically, but even at a distance his eyes looked cold.

Until Patton caught sight of Logan's chest still rising up and down and all of a sudden Logan was enveloped in a warm embrace of wings as Patton pressed a kiss to his cheek.

His cheek turned sticky and hot and his hand wavered in the air to try and get ahold of his lover. Patton tightly took his hand and kissed his knuckles.

"They all lied to me! it was all lies but it's okay. It's okay. I'm back. I'm here now my love"

"..h...hun" Was all he got out through his chapped lips.

"I just need 15 more minutes honey. Can you give me that? I want to make sure it's right before I test it on you. Can you hold on for me?"

Logan saw the red stain that got left on his hand "..Blood?"

"It's not mine"

Patton got up before spinning around and letting out a little squeak as if he had remembered something before puffing up the pillows behind his lover's back so he could sit up slightly and giving him his glasses. The demon limped towards the door with one of his wings dragging behind on the floor. He set aside a book he'd been holding by the doorframe before opening it and carrying in the lifeless body of a dog.

"I found it like this!" Patton quickly clarified "I just- I just have to make sure this works"

"What- what works?"

"You'll see!"

"Wh....what did you....."

"I need to concentrate"

He laid the dog down in the middle of the floor and sat out candles around it-

Scotland, 2024

"What DID he do?" Janus interrupted.

"You requested for me to tell you so I will the best that I am able to. He resurrected the dog"

"You're husband is a necromancer??"

"No.....My husband is a transfigurator"

Scotland 1625

The heat was still leaving the corpse when Patton repeated the last words of the incantation and the bones of the dog spazmed into movement. Muscles crunched and joints cracked as the dog's snout became elongated and it's tongue split in two. It became bigger than a dog could possibly be and it's claws portruded sharply from it's paws. A gutural growl came out when it's mouth opened and oozing saliva dropped down onto the floor.

Before suddenly it's eyes blinked open.

Patton held his breathe as the dog turned to him and like a baby deer stood up. It's claws dug into the floor as it took a step closer to the demon before it's tail wagged and it happily went back to playing just as it had done before the animal that had killed it had attacked.

"YES!"

Logan started to wonder if this was another fever dream.

"This is what I'll do to you!" Patton sputtered and added "Not into a hound but a demon! If you want to of course! You know how long our lifespan can be but it's better to do this and regret it later than to wither away isn't it!? Right!?"

The demon was hanging off every word waiting desperately for his lover to just agree already so he could fix this. His heart was beating loud enough to ring in his ears.

"...What happened?"

"I swear I didn't want to hurt anyone. The Angels attacked me first! I tried to ask them how to- how to save you but none of them would listen! So I basically had no other choice but to- to fight my way up to the boss! The highest boss in Heaven you know! I had to! and- and-"

"Who?"

"But even they wouldn't answer me so- so I had to threaten them! And make them write it down! Everything! So I could protect you- protect us!"

Logan reached out and put his hand on top of the demon's and took a deep breathe to make his lover do the same. Patton rested his cheek against Logan's warm skin and gulped before whispering

"I didn't see any humans up there. The higher ups lied. Humans don't go to heaven or hell, they just disappear. The succubi- all of the demons being sent out to make humans sin and the guardian angels that get sent out to stop them from sin are just being sent out to do busy work. None of it matters. It's just so that the higher ups can live in luxury and keep all of Heaven and hell's resources to themself. The upper managment don't care about humans! They don't care about sin! They don't care about us! They only care about creating a system where they stay on top!"

Patton looked close to tears but sniffed it back and let out a shaky breathe.

"I can make you a demon! But you will have to die! A human body can't survive that sort of transformation but if you die there's a window of a few minutes where I can change you! And you will wake up as demon! You know how I work! You know how long we live and we feed off of lust and we can't have children but Logan please!! Please let me turn you!"

"Do it....I want to see the future"

A relieved smile made Patton shine and his horns suddenly turned a bright bright blue. He looked down and nodded while tearing up. He felt in that moment it had all been worth it, and never being able to go back to Hell would be worth it too.

Patton laid the bed cover on the floor before carrying his lover to it and carefully laying him down. He lit the candles once more and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"You can let go now honey"

With those words Logan let himself relax and it only took a few minutes before the disease riddling his body brought him to death.

What seemed to Logan like an instant later he opened his eyes and looked up to see Patton crying with joy. He got thrown into a hug and shook around as his lover squeeled.

"IT WORKED!!"

Logan let his hands travel up to his head and felt two large horns sticking out from his skull before being spooked by his tail and wings suddenly twitching. He stared at his tail moving back and forth.

"Who- who told you this? You said the Boss of Heaven? How-"

"Nothing is wrong if it's done for love Logie! I forced my way into God's office and held them at knifepoint until they wrote down everything I needed to know to keep us safe!"

"You......" Logan had to sit in silence for a minute "You talked to God for my sake?"

"Honey I was ready to kill God for your sake"

Patton staggered back and laid down flat on the floor with the notebook that had been written in by God still tightly held in his hand.

"Ooooh I think the last of my adrenaline just went outttt. OooOoooWwWWW Everything hurrrttss.." He sniffed "Ough I stink. I didn't know blood smelled this bad"

"You've done enough my love, I will take care of you now"

Scotland 2024

"That's that. Was that information satisfactory?" Logan concluded.

"THAT! That ball of soft fluff THREATENED GOD!?" Janus yelled back.

"Yes"

"This week is just so normal. Never been this bored in my life. Nothing life changing happening at all. Is like religion..real or?"

"No, God is just a name"

"Ah...Good. Going to unbook that ticket to church then I guess" He leant back in his chair and threw his head back to look up at the ceiling.

"I'm baaCccKkk!" Patton sing-sang "With groceries!"

Janus jumped at the sight of him "Put the bag of groceries on the counter and back away before you go Rambo on me as well"

The demon did as told but muttered to his husband "Who's Rambo? The only Rambo I am is rambo-nctious!"

"I told the human about how I became a Demon"

"Oh...." He stood still for a few seconds before his eyes became filled with tears and he wordleedsly moved in to hug his husband to which Logan help him close.

"It's okay honey, I have already told him everything, you won't have to talk about it" His husband reassured.

"Maybe if I had looked closer I would have seen a few humans up there. The thought of them just disappearing" He sniffled "Is just so horrible. And the poor guardian Angels doing all that work for nothing"

"Mhmm" Logan knew better than to try and argue back since Patton far preffered to repress the truth. It made no logical sense for humans to go to Heaven or Hell once they died and Patton telling him about the lack of humans in Heaven only made that fact clearer to him.

meanwhile Janus went through the groceries he had requested and used the stove to make a whole stack of smore sandwiches with sprinkles on top. He put them all on a plate and turned around to see the demons snuggling.

"Ew. You have warm water running here don't you? Okay I am taking a self care bath to ponder, alone. Do either of you have a phone I can borrow? I'm going to go call the fbi on your asses and totally not just like listen to music" Logan handed him his phone "Thanks. I'll see you in 2 hours or whenever I run out of warm water"

The human left and Patton stayed sitting on his husband's lap until Logan's legs began to fall asleep. A tap came on the window and he turned to see Remus pressing his snooty face up against the glass.

'Can I come in yet???' He signed.

Logan simply did a thumbs down while slowly shaking his head "That idiot"

"aww don't be mean"

"He's basically brought an Angel to our doorstep. It makes me figuratively shiver thinking about what that Angel could be doing right now"

"Ehhhh Mamma mia!" Virgil exclaimed.

"EAsy peasy! The winner takes it all!" Roman shouted right back "Your turn! Sweeney Todd"

"A little priest. Rocky Horror!"

"Planet schamnet janet!"

Virgil snickered "A deepcut. Fucking nerd"

"Your turn! Cats!"

"....uhhh.....uhm....."

"Time's up! You gotta drink!"

Virgil knocked back half a can of monster energy which made his already naturally jittery arms shake even more. He was sitting on the edge of his bed facing Roman as she sat crosslegged on the edge of hers with the cans of monster between them.

"You seriously don't know any songs from cats?"

"Not of the top of my head! I only know like..cool...gothic....epic musicals"

"Rum tum tugger did not rum tum tug for his life for you to forget him like this! Oh! The role I was born to play! He's tall! Handsome! A remarkable falsetto! And he fucks like there is no tomorrow! So relatable" He gasped "The full show is on the yubtube, I can show you!"

Virgil glanced at his phone "We should get ready for the bus. We can't exactly stay here forever"

"Whyyyy nooootttt"

The demon sunk down on the bed like a deflated baloon while Virgil went to the bathroom to get ready. The sound of the watertap being turned on filled her ears and as she closed her eyes she imagined a beautiful beach in front of her. She hadn't been to the beach in what felt like forever. There were no beaches in Hell, only cold corridors and bunkbeds with no privacy and The Manager-

Roman sat up with a gasp. He moved his hands up and down his arms to remind himself that the manager wasn't here, he was safe, none of what he was feeling was real. But still he didn't want to be alone with his thoughts even for a second so he got up and staggered over to the bathroom and burst into laughter at the sight of Virgil leaning as close to the mirror as he could to put on his eyeliner.

"What's so funny?"

"It is just absolutely adorable that you left in a hurry to protect your human but still brought your eyeliner with you" Roman got out between giggles "I admire the dedication"

"It happened to be in the pocket of my hoodie! It's not like it was deliberate!"

"Sure. Sure. Whatever you say emo darling" Roman stepped in beside the angel to look at himself in the mirror "Could you eyeliner me up as well? I'm not feeling that pretty right now"

Virgil jaw dropped "Are you kidding me?"

"Hmm?"

"bro dont piss on my leg and tell me its raining" He scoffed "Not pretty. Bullshit innit. Whatever. Close your eyes and try not to move too much"

Virgil placed his hand along the demon's cheek to steady her head before bringing the eyeliner pencil to her eye with his other hand. He could feel her skin twitching ever so slightly and see her eyes moving under her eyelids.

He tilted her head to do the same under her other eye before using his thumb to smudge the edges out.

"Done. What do you think?"

Roman looked in the mirror and warmed into a smile. He was still borrowing one of the emo's hoodies and now with the make up as well "I look just as emo as you"

"Yeah all youre missing is some fishnet, maybe some striped knee high socks"

The demon threw his arm around Virgil's shoulders "Look at you being a real fashionista"

"ha...ha" He said in a dead-beat tone.

A tiny feeling of feeding emerged similar to a teaspoon of honey. Roman nuzzled his nose against the tussle of Virgil's hair. "What are you thinking Angel?"

He rolled his eyes but blushed all the same "Im just a bit touch starved, dont get an ego Demon"

Roman took his hand and pressed a kiss to the inside of his wrist which left a glittering red lipgloss stain. The angel looked at him before averting his eyes down to the floor and stepping back. He shook his head and pushed his hands deep down in his pockets.

"This is wrong"

"I can be a girl if that will make you feel better"

"We shouldnt miss the bus"

"... Sure" Roman stepped to the side to let the angel pass by and looked at him collecting his few posesions. She quietly brought her wrist up to her lips and bit her teeth down into her skin to fight against the hunger.

"You ready?"

"Sure"

Virgil opened the door to the hallway before hesitating and asking "Hey so you want me to like guide you so you can like close your eyes and dont have to see that uh stuff that like made you panic. I dunno its probably a stupid idea"

"Thats so-" He cleared his throat "Thats exactly the kind of treatment a prince such as I deserve. Yes guide me my loyal knight of emoness!"

Virgil kept his hand against the slope of Roman's back all through the hallways until they reached the lobby. They took the bus to the train station followed by porting the train that would take them to Scotland.

"I dont think I've ever gone this long without having sex" Roman suddenly blurted out while pressing the papers from the mormon booklet he'd been hands into little paper stars "Weird. It feels so pent up. How do you survive...is that why you're so moody all the time?"

"Dude we're on the fucking train. There's people around! Shh"

"Oh come on Angel. Everyone in this train car has had sex! That lady is literally pregnant! You nerdy prude!"

Virgil sunk down further into his seat and hid his face with his hood "Whatever"

"What does it feel like?"

"Huh? Like being a uh vi- ugh I dont even want to say the word"

Roman shot one of the stars in between Virgil's eyebrows "No, not that. Being in love? How does it feel?"

"Shut up"

"I know youre attracted to me Virgey, it's as clear as cinderella's shoes but like how does that differ from how you're attracted to Janus?"

"I'm NOt- I-- Pff me? Attracted? You- you're ugly as hell! Mister uhh slenderman looking bitch!"

Roman snickered before leaning her head against the cupholder between their seats "I've re-read Romeo and juliet like 5 times, seen as many romcoms as I can and I adore romance but i can never.. No matter how many times I've tried I can't understand how it feels. Why so many people have been compelled to make wondorous art about being in love" He sighed "Im a hypocrite. If me and my brother were humans I would be seen as the weird one for never dating anyone and being a slut-- I mean he would probably still be looked on as weird but like because of his personality! Not because he doesn't want to have sex!"

Virgil eyed him before sighing ".....I dunno...I dunno how to explain it to you....I was just like made to...to protect Janus. I dunno what my purpose for existing is without him. I dunno what I'd do without him. All I ever think about is him. All I've ever known is him"

"That sounds like devotion, not love"

Virgil twisted his fingers around each other until his nails turned white "I need him to live"

"Well have you ever tried living without him?"

"Don't even bring that up. Youre gonna make me puke from anxiety" He lightly tugged at the demon's tail which made her yelp "And don't try to lecture me about love mister aromantic sounding fucker"

Roman just moved his tail up to tickle the angel's nose while laughing in response.

After an hour the train arrived at their stop. Virgil acted lazy to make them take the elevator because he guessed walking the stairs would leave Roman winded as hell but she was far too stubborn to admit that.

"So do you want to check out some local delicacies, whether that's food or humans, before we go and confess our love to our childhood human friend whom we have a codependant relationship with slash beat our brother up?" Roman asked while pushing the elevator button.

"I just wanna get it over with dude. Rip the bandaid off"

"Great strategy! Get the bandage off and then get off!"

Virgil squinted at him "Maybe you and your bro are kind of similar"

The elevator door opened and Roman stepped through it while replying "Okay don't insult-"

As soon as she had stepped through the door she disappeared out of Virgil's sight. He hurried out and looked around the train terminal but he saw no trace of the demon. He even used his wings to fly up to get the better view but there was nothing.

Roman stumbled headfirst into Hell. Before her eyes had even had time to process it the the sudden thickness of the air gave it away.

"How many demons can it take to kill a single human. One!"

The manager's voice instantly made Roman's eyes unfocus and his body go stiff. She recognised this room, it was the living room in his apartment and when she glanced out of the corner of her eye she could see him standing by one of his fishtanks.

"This one can never get enough pellets" He muttered while sprinkling the fish food into the water "She's a big one. That's why she keeps eating her tank buddies which means she's a smart one as well. You gotta eat a few friends to get ahead. Don't you agree?"

He felt the manager put his heavy hands on his shoulders while using his third hand to casually knock at his horn.

"Hello? Are you listening?"

He nodded.

"Good" The manager leant down so his mouth was pushed up against his ear "Where the fuck is that Janus cunt? And why isn't he dead?" He laughed "right, you cant talk. Wait here. I will get you some pen and paper. How nice of me"

The manager left the room and just like last time Roman couldn't move. She was completely stuck in place barely even being able to curl in on herself and tuck her arms close to her chest. Soon enough she felt a shoe being kicked against her lower leg and glanced up to see the manager waving a notepad in her face.

"Tell me what happened. Where is the green twin?"

Roman didn't move an inch to which The manager rolled his eyes.

"You're impossible! I'll do this on a kindergarten level okay. Did the human get away alive?"

She nodded.

"Did your idiot twin help the human get away?"

She hesitated.

"Come ooon"

The manager circled around him before suddenly jumping forward and putting his arms around Roman who screamed before clamming up and covering his mouth with his hands.

"Was that a...sound?" The manager pushed his face right up against him "Didn't I take your voice away?"

"It wasn't me. I didn't- I didn't do anything"

"I believe you. Don't worry, I know you wouldn't be able to take your voice back. The only demon I know who could possibly do that is....." A sick grin grew across the manager's face "I am going to get SUCH a promotion!"

He spun around and did a little happy dance before moving one of his arms around the succubi's shoulders and pushing her close.

"You want to see your twin again don't you?"

Roman nodded.

"Good. All you have to do is find him and Stay There. You don't even have to talk to him or signal to me. I know where you are, I will come there and I will sort everything out. It might take an hour or so as I get the cavalry ready so just stay close by. Okay?"

"I was already on my way there"

"Of course you were. That's my smart little Red-dy right there. Just keep doing what you're doing then" He sniffed "And please take a shower so you get that disgusting Angel scent out from your hair. It must have been really stuck in that human's apartment huh"

"....And my brother will be safe?"

The manager snorted "If you're lucky.....Actually! Maybe just MAYBE if you help me get this promotion I will have enough power in Hell to pull a few strings and keep your twin from getting executed. They will probably take his voice away again but it'll be better than being dead"

Roman nodded "..Promise?"

"I can't promise that but if you help me I will do everything I can. You scratch my back I'll scratch yours eh? And just imagine! After my promotion! I could live in luxury! An entire suite! Big enough for you to get a room! No more annoying meetings for you or having to fill a monthly qouta of seduced humans! You could relax and see the upper parts of Hell! Travel to Earth whenever you want!"

He couldn't get any words out, only some sort of whimper that nearly sounded like a question.

"What is there to be confused about?" He rubbed his thumb against Roman's cheek "You're my favorite succubi and my favorite meal I have ever had in my long life. Of course I will want to keep you close by"

Roman's stomach turned into knots and she wasn't sure if it was because of hunger or fear.

The manager put his finger under the succubi's chin and tilted his head up "Are you hungry?"

If he'd been asked in the moment Roman wouldn't have been able to explain why he nodded, nor would he be able to explain it after hours of thought. Maybe he could say he was simply so hungry that he didn't think but that wasn't true. Maybe the months of being alone with nothing but being hurt had made the abuse feel safe in a way, comforting even. The brain wants what it is most used to.

"I am" He whispered.

"I can help you with that"

"I know"

The panic attack had come and gone and now Virgil was left sitting on one of the steal beams up in the roof of the train central kneading his cheeks to try and make the tearstains on his cheeks disappear.

A glimpse of a pair of red horns among the crowd made him stop his pity party though and swiftly fly down to ground level. He pushed through the crowd despite his anxiety about even being this close to so many people all in a desperate attempt to get to the demon. He caught sight of a swaying tail and grabbed ahold of it to make her stop.

"Roman?"

To his relief it was Roman who turned to look at him.

"Where did you go!? I've been looking for you for like an hour!"

"I....I wasn't used to havnig my voice back" Roman mumbled "I accidentally went to Hell- but uh nobody saw me. When I got back to Earth I accidentally dropped a few miles away and uhm yeah it took me a bit to walk basically"

Virgil blushed when he realized he was still holding the demon's tail "Warn a dude next time, you coulda given me a heart attack"

"Sorry. So lead the way"

"Huh?"

"To Janus. You can feel where he is right? You didn't lose where he was right?"

"No, no. I got him right here" Virgil pushed his hand over heart.

"We can fly there! It will go quicker!"

"Dude are you like...sure? You have barely fed"

"I'm sure. I just-" Roman's lip trembled "I just really want to see my brother"

Virgil considered giving him a hug but hesitated and instead started walking towards the direction he could feel Janus in "Okay, follow me"

The volume on the phone had been heightened to such a degree that Janus had been basically forcing everyone in the house to listen to his breakup playlist for the past 2 hours while he was taking his 'self care bath' whatever that now means. Logan pressed his face down into his husband's stomach to try and force the sound out but even that couldn't block the awkward energy of having Remus sitting in the same room. He grimaced more and more with each song he heard.

"Should I kill myself? Should I just drink a bunch of coke and mentos at the same time and explode from the inside?" He jokingly asked.

"NO!" Patton answered dead serious.

"Yes" Logan answered nearly as seriously.

The music stopped all of a sudden which somehow made the room feel even more tense. All of them sat in silence and waited for the sound of footsteps coming from the staircase.

"Ladies!" Janus said from the top of the stairs, now clad in a pair of Patton's yellow pants a button up of Logans "I've made my decision!"

"He's going to fucking execute me" Remus mumbled under his breathe.

"I am going to die!"

Remus swore his heart completely stopped for a second. He got up from the armchair with such speed that the chair teetered back and forth before falling over.

"Jannie don't! Please! You don't have to ever see me again but-" Remus started to beg but Janus interrupted.

"I'm not about to jump off a bridge you muppet. I want to be turned into one of you and I know that Patton can make that happen!"

All eyes shot over to Patton who squirmed in his seat "I've only done it once on a human and that was 400 years ago"

"Well does anyone have any other bright ideas!?" Janus looked around the room "Huh? No? Nothing? If what you're saying is true and the universe wants me dead for some reason and Demons are out to get me and that my best friend has been some secret Angel spy all my life" His breathe hitched "Then I at least want to choose how to die. You non human bitches have taken away my autonomy in everything else, I am not letting you take this"

"I think the plan is sound" Logan agreed to which Janus sent him a grateful look.

"You- you should think about this" Patton said.

"I just did!"

"No. No. More! Think for longer I mean! This- This is a big decision!"

"You didn't think that long before attacking Angels and threatening God for your sweethearts sake, why am I different!?"

"Because Logan was terminally ill! You aren't!"

Remus glanced between them "He did what now?" Everyone ignored his question.

"We have no knowledge of where the Angel is or when he will arrive. I would much rather we get this over with now so that me and Patton can leave well before the Angel arrives than for us to wait around for no logical reason" Logan added.

"I'm not doing this right now. If something goes wrong I couldn't-" Patton teared up "I'm not ready. Not now"

"This is exactly the bullocks I was referring to! You all think that just because I'm a human your opinion holds more weight than mine!" Janus straightened his posture and rolled his eyes "I won't waste my breathe on this. Come tell me when you've gotten the courage to do something that isn't hiding away in your shitty little cottage!"

#sanders sides #Remus is taking a break from being the main character rn. good for him #tss #thomas sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #logicality #prinxiety #janus sanders #what if you were an asexual succubus wouldnt that be fucked up or what

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northlight14 · 1 year ago

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*pokes fandom with a stick* hey, y’all still alive? I have thoughts

Ok so it’s no secret that Mary On a Cross by Ghost has me in a chokehold and has for almost a year now. Specifically the line “your beauty never ever scared me” which I’ve decided is now a shipping dynamic (basically one character who everyone is afraid of for whatever reason and then the other character/s who instead of being afraid, see beauty or value in whatever everyone else was scared of)

Well I just realised that all my favourite sander sides ships fit that dynamic. Going chronologically, first we have moxiety where everyone was scared of Virgil or just didn’t see him as being valuable or necessary to the team or insulted him in some way. All but Patton, who, accepted him right away, no questions asked. Then we have roceit which, while more subtle, still fits this dynamic. Everyone being terrified or annoyed by Janus’ appearance at first apart from Roman who seems pretty comfortable having him there and then in SvS actively siding with him and defending him against the others while everyone else only sees him as a villain. And then intrulogical where Logan literally says to Remus “you don’t get to me in the slightest” and even though the other sides seem to be unsettled or terrified of Remus, Logan is completely unbothered by him even if he doesn’t fully understand his purpose yet.

Some bonus ships that fit this dynamic also include analogical and demus (which interestingly enough I also ship😅)

Anyway, I just think it’s cute that this kinda dynamic keeps occurring between the sides, specially the dark sides and light sides

#sander sides #sanders sides #moxiety #roceit #intrulogical #analogical #demus #dukeceit #Virgil sanders #Patton sanders #Roman sanders #Janus sanders #Logan sanders #remus sanders

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part-time-zombie · 2 months ago

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ok for ask game- Logan Sanders

Oh I could go on and on about what I think of him, so I'll try to focus on just the main stuff here lol

How I Feel About Logan:

I honestly can't stop thinking about him most of the time, and I think that especially comes from how much I can recognize a part of myself in him.

I adore where his arc is going, and how his curiosity for life and enthusiasm for learning has slowly but surely been overtaken by his desperation to not only help Thomas the best that he can but to also be worthy of his appreciation and prove the usefulness of his role. I'd like for him to rediscover that love for life and learning again, though i know that will be a long time coming.

More than anything, I can really feel this impossible loneliness about him, or at least about his situation. With how he's constantly contesting with (and probably resentful of) Roman, his growing frustration with Patton and Remus' antics, and his indifferent yet guarded opinion of Janus, i believe that Virgil is probably his only real friend among the sides. This would likely make him appreciative of Virgil's companionship but also fearful of ruining it by needing it too much (or I'm just projecting lol)

I think more than anything he just needs to feel seen, if not by Thomas then by one of the sides. I think he's felt invisible and unwanted for so long now that he doesn't know what else to feel.

All The People I Ship Romantically With Logan:

I can pretty much ship him with anyone, romantically or platonically, but I especially like romantic pairings with him between either of the creativitwins or Janus. Each of their dynamics make for intriguing and compelling romantic relationships, from a sort of rivals-to-lovers pairing with Roman to a (for lack of a better term) frenemies-with-benefits with Remus, plus the shared braincell energy of Logan and Janus lol.

Arguably, of the romantic ships I'd say intrulogical is probably my OTP though, I just love their mad-scientist vibes and complete opposites attract model. (plus, I think they both can recognize feelings of isolation in each other and can connect with that.)

My Non-Romantic OTP For Logan:

Definitely analogical, no question. These two are like the ultimate friendship among the sides for me, to the point that I pretty much see them as best friends more than i do romantic partners tbh. And thats not a dig against them, either. I seriously love their relationship the most among the various pairings of the sides, and its also the one i see as the strongest friendship among them. A perfect qpr ship if I've ever seen one.

My Unpopular Opinion About Logan:

I dont know how unpopular this one is but tbh I kinda don't like how he acts like he's better than the others because he's smart. Don't get me wrong, I know why he acts this way and I don't entirely fault him for that (same goes for Roman while im thinking about it), but I've always found superiority complexes to be a little irritating, especially when they're a genuine opinion of oneself and not just as a joke/front against insecurities.

One Thing I Wish Would Happen / Should Have Happened With Logan In Canon:

I'd seriously pay real money to know what happened after Janus replaced him in pof. I need to know where he was sent and why he felt the need to specify that he was unharmed and didn't want to talk about it, and i wish that this was addressed in canon. (but I get that the episode didn't really have time to focus on it)

I'd also love for there to be a more in-depth discussion/reveal on Logan and ducking out. It was implied that it wouldn't have the same impact as when Virgil did, but I want to see more about that. I'm curious what would happen if he were to try to duck out and if it would work differently, like if Thomas picked up the figurative slack from Logan's absence like what we saw in Moving On p2.

#sanders sides #logan sanders #im rambling #thanks for the ask!

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tss-whumper · 9 months ago

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egotistical - a sanders sides whump oneshot

(this was requested by a few of my friends, and inspired by an interaction i had while talking about roman in a discord server!)

summary: "Uh oh, better not give Roman a compliment. It'll stroke his ego, and we don't need that!". Roman is used to being the butt of the joke, the clown, the silly ingenue, the stupid prince. But what happens when the constant mistreatment and berating break him down past repair? After all, the ego needs praise and approval to survive. If Roman is constantly starved of the one thing he desires more than anything else, then he might just shut down.

word count: 4.4k

content warnings: verbal abuse, manipulation, all of the sides can be considered unsympathetic except for roman, virgil, and remus.

Roman was the ego. And nobody let him forget it.

Ego has a lot of different interpretations when it comes to the definition and what it could mean for Roman as a representation. Is he the Freudian ego, a part of the conscious mind that acts according to reality? No, that didn't sound very much like Roman at all. Is he the literal ego, which is a sense of personal identity and self-worth? Roman would like to think so, but he wasn't completely sure.

The definition of ego that all of the other sides, as well as Thomas, as well as the fandom interpreted Roman as was the figurative ego. Selfishness. Snobbiness. Inflated self-importance. In their minds, ego was seen as a flaw. Something that needed to be fought and suppressed in order to better Thomas.

It only made sense. Thomas was raised in a religion where greed and pride were both deadly sins. Wanting things was an aspect of Roman's purpose. He was the reason why Thomas reached for the stars to begin with. Along with this, was appreciation for Thomas' achievements. Roman was the cheerleader, the one who helped Thomas steel his nerves at auditions, the one who reminded Thomas that he was born to perform, and that the only thing stopping him from doing his best was his own doubts. That was all Roman.

But that wasn't the stuff that was noticed. And as hard as Roman tried to deny it, wearing his prince persona like it was a mask, his sash like a bulletproof vest as insults and backhanded compliments were constantly hurled at him, his visage was slipping.

---

"Look, look, guys, look!"

Roman ran as fast as he could out of his bedroom to the other sides, who were eating their lunch in the kitchen. Bouncing on his toes, Roman spun around, showing everybody the new outfit he had created, using red, orange, and brown accents instead of his usual red and white. It had taken all afternoon, and Roman was so happy with his work. Sewing and needlework did not come easy, and the prince spent a lot of time, trial, and error to ensure that this outfit would be impressive.

"Tada!" he cried out, "Do you like it? Isn't it cool? I can make you guys new outfits if you want! If you like this one, I can make a matching one!"

"Looks good, Princey," Virgil said with a small smile, between bites of salad, "I like what you did with the sleeves."

"You do? Really?" Roman's eyes glimmered with joy and he squealed, "Oh, I'm so glad! See, what I did was I puffed out the sleeves, and then-"

"Aww, come on, Virgil, why'd you do that?" Patton asked, a slight frown showing on his face as he grimaced, "Now he's not going to stop bragging about how great he is."

Roman felt like the wind had been knocked out of him.

"Yeah, Pat's right," Janus chimed in, gazing at Roman's outfit with a critical eye, "And your needlework could use some, well, needleWORK, Roman. The stitches are so crooked."

"I made it for practice," Roman protested quietly, gazing down at his sleeves, hiding them with his hands, suddenly feeling extremely insecure.

Logan sighed with relief when he saw Roman duck his head.

"Oh, good," he said, "Now I can finally focus. Roman, there's really no need to constantly try and show off how great you are. We all have much more important things to focus on than your preening."

Roman forced a smile so big and splitting that it hurt. He hoped that nobody could see the tears that were starting to blur his vision.

"Got it," he said through his gritted grin, "I'll go fix these stitches, then. See you guys later."

He rushed back to his bedroom, only realizing after he closed the door that he had forgotten to grab a plate of food. But it was just as well. After that interaction, Roman's throat had closed up. His stomach was in knots. He wasn't hungry anyway.

---

"I chose the movie for Movie Night last time," Janus mused out loud, "Roman, why don't you choose this time?"

"Really?" Roman asked excitedly, "You guys never let me choose anymore."

"Don't act like it was for no reason," Patton teased, "You kept singing during the movies, even after we told you to stop. You'd better promise not to sing this time, mister!"

Something invisible stabbed through Roman's chest.

"Uh-huh!" he squeaked, trying to hide how much that comment hurt, though honestly, he was so excited about choosing the movie after weeks of not choosing, that he focused back on the DVD collection quickly. "I wanna watch Brother Bear!"

There was a collective groan.

"Is...is that okay...?" Roman asked hesitantly.

"I love Brother Bear!" Remus said enthusiastically, "The moose are so funny, and the faces the bears make are the best."

"It's...alright, I suppose," Janus shrugged, putting in the DVD, sighing as he did, "What led you to choosing that one, Ro?"

"It's about brothers!" Roman cried out happily, before sheepishly smiling over at Remus. "I like stuff about brothers."

Remus grinned in response. "Yeah! Me too!"

"Aww, how adorable," Janus cooed, petting Roman's hair, "You're so valiant, Roman. So considerate of others."

Roman's heart lifted. "You mean it?" he whispered.

"Of course I mean it, doll," Janus purred, "You're such a sweetheart. You ask that like you don't hear praise often. Now, I just know that's not true."

It absolutely was true. But Roman did not dare argue and risk ruining this perfect moment. He was smiling so big that his mouth and face hurt, but it was a real smile this time. He started to rock back and forth on the couch, so joyful. Janus was being kind to him! Janus was giving him a real compliment!

The movie started, and Janus hugged Roman gently as all six sides watched it together. By the time it was over, everybody agreed that Brother Bear was a great choice of a movie. Roman was positively glowing.

"Roman," Janus mumbled, grabbing Roman's wrist before the prince could go back to his room for bed, "Can we...talk for a moment?"

Roman smiled and nodded. "Alright! How can I help you, Janus?"

He bowed courteously, the way royalty tended to. But it was clear that Janus, in all of his smooth, elegant, almost sultry glory, was all business right now.

"I need you to come with me to talk with Thomas tomorrow," Janus whispered, "We have to tell him that Virgil is messing up Thomas' recharge time by constantly filling his head with worries the whole time. I'm sure Thomas has noticed it, and he's more likely to listen if it's both of us."

"Oh, um...I don't know," Roman admitted, wincing slightly, "I think Virgil's doing a good job, as well as he can, at least. Anxious thoughts are always gonna slip through the cracks, right? And- I thought Thomas said that his recharge time has improved."

"Huh," Janus remarked, his expression growing colder, "And here I was thinking that you actually had some sense, Roman. Some basic observation skills when it comes to people besides yourself."

Roman's eyes widened, and he took a shaky step back, confused and astonished.

Janus had just been so sweet to him. What happened??

"I'm sorry," Roman said immediately. By now, he had learned that the sooner he apologized, the better. "I didn't mean to be- um- to not- uh- I-"

"Spit it out!" Janus snapped, before pinching the bridge of his nose and regaining his composure, "You should know by now that an apology means nothing if you don't even know what you're apologizing for. And I thought I was the manipulative one."

"I'm not trying to manipulate you," Roman protested, a tear rolling down his face that he desperately wiped away, but it was too late.

"Crocodile tears don't work on me, sweetheart," Janus cooed, "I give you all these compliments, I build you up and support you all night, and you can't even do this one little thing for me? You just have to argue with me and be right? No wonder the fandom can't stand you. You need to be knocked down a few pegs."

Roman winced as Janus turned on his heels and walked away, muttering under his breath. When the sound of Janus' footsteps faded away, Roman finally let out the sob that he had been biting back. It hurt to restrain it, burning his throat and stinging his eyes, but he didn't want Janus to think he was only crying to make him feel guilty.

It wasn't fair, Roman couldn't help but think. He had really thought Janus' compliments were real. He should have known that the only reason Janus would ever be nice to him was to get something out of him.

After all, Janus said this out loud on camera. And nobody even batted an eye.

Manipulation, the prince learned, was only a sin when Roman was the one being accused of it.

---

"Woah, good flip, Ro!"

Remus laughed in delight as he watched Roman flip pancake after pancake. Roman was not usually great in the kitchen, but when it came to Pancake Saturday, he had grown to master the art. He absolutely adored dying the batter different colors and making silly shapes for each of his fellow sides, so they could wake up to a new art piece.

This morning, as usual, all of the sides were chatting while waiting for their pancakes, and Roman glowed at Remus' praise.

"Thanks!" he said eagerly, "I've been practicing since last week! I think I'm really improving my form, though, I guess it makes sense. I have a pretty strong left arm!"

"Oh, here it comes!" Patton interjected, grinning at the others as he pointed to Roman, "The ego express! Choo choo!"

"Careful, now, Remus," Logan said, a small, amused smile on his face as he cut into his asteroid-shaped pancake, "If you keep inflating Roman's ego, he'll become even more insufferable."

Roman's eyes widened, and his face flushed so with embarrassment that he started to sweat. Quickly, he turned to face the pan, realizing with a jolt of panic that his pancakes were going to burn. He quickly flipped them over and turned down the heat with a trembling hand.

All Remus had done was give him a compliment. Was that not allowed anymore? Was Roman just so insufferable that it was impossible for him to get any sort of kindness without it being immediately reversed into something bad?

"The last thing he needs is more ego-stroking," Janus chimed in, "All he ever talks about is himself."

"All he ever cares about is himself," Patton added with a disappointed sigh, "Maybe we should all lay off on the praise. It's spoiling him rotten."

Roman's grip tightened on his spatula. He was making custom pancakes for everybody, not eating a bite until everyone else had eaten their fill, and somehow, he was still being accused of thinking only of himself?

The prince's mind raced as he thought about all of the things he had done. He had given up the callback, his livelihood, the one thing he wanted more than anything. After bringing up the idea of communicating with both the director of the callback and the fiances of the wedding and being shut down, Roman was the one who had been punished for deciding on the wedding after the fact. It was always his fault. Everything was always Roman's fault, and he apologized, and groveled, and did everything he could. He listened to every degrading joke about him with as much grace as he could. Sure, Roman wasn't perfect. Sometimes, he was pushed to his limits and he just had to fight back. But it wasn't often. Roman went through so much pain to make the others happy. He gave up so much.

When would the sacrifices ever be enough for them?

"Aww, is Princey crying?" Janus taunted, snapping Roman out of his thoughts.

Roman realized that he was indeed softly sobbing, his tears landing on the hot pancake griddle and sizzling as they evaporated. This always happened to him. He got so lost in his own mind that he started to cry before he realized it soon enough to stop. Now the others would think he was being manipulative!

Immediately, Roman reached forward and turned off the heat on the stove. He scooped up the pancakes on the griddle and placed them on Remus' plate. And then, he ran as quickly as he could out of the kitchen and back into his room, hearing laughter echoing behind him. Roman could hear everything

He wished his door was thicker.

"Goodness, that Princey," Patton sighed, "He can't handle any sort of criticism, can he?"

Did Patton realize how hurtful receiving a constant barrage of criticism every second of the day was?

"No, he certainly can't," Logan agreed, "Frankly, it's very disturbing to see him acting so childish. He throws a tantrum every time he doesn't get his way."

Did Logan have any idea how often Roman did not get his way?

"He never listens," Janus scoffed dismissively, "I've tried to tell him to knock it off, but I swear, he's even more spiteful than Virgil."

How could Janus call Roman spiteful after throwing him under the bus in front of millions just because Roman didn't do exactly what he wanted?

It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair.

Roman wasn't an idiot, as much as people liked to call him one. He read every single hate comment. He saw every single poll. Nobody liked him. The other sides didn't like him. The fans despised him. They called him a brat, a narcissist. They made him the butt of every joke, and wrote him as a bully in all of their stories. They only ever saw the person he had practically killed himself trying to erase. They only cared about what Patton and Janus said, and not at all about what Roman did.

"If so many people hate me, then maybe I'm the problem," Roman whispered to himself, gazing into his mirror, pristine and crystal clear. "I can't remember the last time I read a nice comment about myself online. I don't know if there was ever a time when Janus or Patton genuinely complimented me. Maybe I don't deserve compliments. I'm just stupid, old, egotistical Roman! And no matter how hard I try, I'll never, ever be who they want me to be! Never...ever..."

He collapsed against his mirror and cried bitter, desperate tears. His chest was being clawed from the inside out. Roman felt like the world was spinning, and like there was no way out of the hole he was being buried in. There was no winning on Christmas, no winning any day for the prince.

No matter what he did, Roman would always walk away the loser.

---

"Do you have any idea how fucked up that was?"

"You're sitting there eating the pancakes he woke up at 6am to make for you, and you're calling him selfish?"

Virgil and Remus were up in arms, side by side as they angrily questioned the other sides. It was rare that this ragtag duo agreed over anything. Their purposes were so opposite. But in this moment, the one thing they shared was their extreme concern for Roman.

One thing about Roman was that he was horrible at pushing down his feelings. But recently, more and more, Virgil and Remus had witnessed the prince putting on a perfect, flawless mask in order to hide his brokenness. Why wouldn't he? It was clear that when he did show his sadness or anger or frustration, it only resulted in punishment. Humiliation, or chastising, or exclusion. Even on camera, in front of millions, Roman couldn't escape the endless barrage of hate and torment.

"You're bullying him, and you don't even care!" Remus spat angrily, "Do you realize how much Roman has given up, just to make you all happy?"

"I can't even remember the last time you guys have been genuinely nice to him," Virgil seethed, "It's always followed by some smartass, backhanded remark."

"What are you talking about?" Janus asked, narrowing his eyes at Virgil, "You're always teasing Roman."

"Not the way you three do," Virgil snapped, "Always getting after him just for feeling happy? Making him think that he can't ever be proud of himself, that he can't ever express self-worth. You guys are all suppressing the most important part of Roman! I know he can be a bit braggy and over-confident sometimes. But that's his literal fucking job!"

"It's not like we humiliate and dogpile on Janus whenever he lies to us!" Remus exclaimed, "Because we know that's his job! We don't make fun of Patton when he has a bug up his ass! Everyone is allowed to do their job, everyone is allowed to make mistakes and take wrong steps except for Roman. And it's fucked up."

"You two are being ridiculous!" Patton exclaimed, tears forming in his eyes, "Why are you blaming us? Are we not allowed to critique Roman anymore? He has a lot to learn. He's the reason why everything's been going downhill to begin with!"

"Don't you ever fucking say that again," Virgil hissed, getting up in Patton's face, which was something that Virgil hardly ever had the courage to do with Patton. But when it came to Roman? Virgil was ready to unsheath his claws at a moments notice. "Roman was the one who suggested that Thomas talk to Lee and Mary-Lee about the callback. We all shut him down. Because we didn't think Roman was capable of having a good idea. Janus, Patton, you two kept pulling Roman in opposite directions, using him as a pawn for your stupid fucking games! Treating him like a trophy, or- or an accessory instead of a real side with feelings and wants!"

"Nobody ever asks Roman what he wants," Remus added, "That's why he's so outspoken. Because nobody ever asks him anything. Nobody ever even tries to make Roman happy, so he, because he's a big, stupid, naive, oblivious idiot, tries to make himself happy! But it never works, because you sick fucks can't stand to see him happy! All three of you use Roman like your free punching bag. Say and do whatever the fuck you want to me. But leave my brother alone. He's fragile, and you know that. He would never fight back hard enough to actually match the amount of hurt you've caused him. And that's why you chose Roman."

"You know it's true," Virgil muttered, grabbing Remus' wrist and walking away, "Come on, Re. Let's go check on Princey."

"He's the egotistical side," Janus said as the two sides walked away, "He needs to be knocked down a peg."

"The only sides who need to be knocked down a peg are you three," Remus responded icily, "Not Roman. Anyone with a brain can see that he's already at the bottom."

---

Roman? Wow, he's a horrible person!

I can't stand Roman. He's so annoying.

Don't tell Roman that you made him happy, it might boost his ego.

By now, Roman was crying so hard that he could barely read the words on his screen. He swiped the top of his hand against his eyes as he tried to move the neverending tears out of the way. Deep down, he knew this wasn't a good idea. Reading hate comments was never a good idea.

But Roman felt like he deserved it.

After all, he was the egotistical side. If he didn't change, then he would never escape this endless hell of insults and deception. Roman had to choose between his own well-being, and the happiness of the others. It was tearing him apart inside. The deepest core of his identity was being stretched thin.

Roman was the ego.

But he could no longer think of himself without feeling disgust and hatred.

"Hey! Open the door, fuckface!"

Roman gasped as he heard Remus' voice. He struggled to his feet and stumbled to the door, wiping and wiping at his face to try and get rid of the tears. He opened the door and tried to smile, in the most unassuming way.

But Virgil and Remus were not having that.

"Stop that, you fucking idiot," Virgil said, before quickly correcting himself, "I mean...Princey."

"What's going on...?" Roman whispered hoarsely, "Did I do something wrong? If you're here to get angry at me, please- just do it. I'll fix whatever I did wrong. I'll change it. I swear."

Virgil and Remus stared at Roman, slack-jawed, for a long time. Roman squirmed.

"Did I say something bad...?" Roman asked hesitantly.

"I'm going to kill them," Remus said simply, his face relaxed, but his eyes manic. "I swear, I'm going to fucking slit their throats."

"Are you even listening to yourself?" Virgil mumbled, guiding Roman to his bed and sitting him down on it, "You're Roman. You're...you're the ego."

"I know," Roman said, his voice pained, "Please don't remind me."

"I have to remind you," Virgil pressed, "Because- you- you're throwing away the most precious parts of yourself. Just to appease those stupid sons of bitches out there. Janus, Logan, and Patton? They have no idea how hard it is to be you. For months, I've watched them bully you and treat you like- like a toy. They never stop pushing you around, and I don't understand how you've survived it this long."

"I haven't survived it," Roman whispered, curling in on himself, "I picked the wedding."

"Because Patton basically made you!" Remus pointed out, "He kept guilt tripping you! He knows how much you care about being a good person, and he used that against you!"

"I- I made fun of Janus' name, though," Roman protested, squirming where he sat.

"After he manipulated you to hell and back and openly admitted that he was only ever nice to you to get something out of you!" Virgil cried out, "I wish you'd done worse!"

"I can't," Roman said firmly, staring at Remus and Virgil with a chilling sureness to his gaze, "You can, Virgil. And you can, Remus. But me? I can't. I can't do anything about this. If I do, it'll just- it'll make everything worse. Every time I try and say something- every time I try and defend myself- it just doesn't work. I just become the villain again. I'm always outnumbered, and- and nobody cares about how the egotistical, stupid prince character feels about anything."

"You're right," Remus said, surprising both Virgil and Roman, "That's why we have to make them care. We should make our very own video, all about you. Telling the fans about everything from your perspective. There are people who care about you. I know it. There are people who call you their favorite side. I just know that there are. We just have to find them."

"But- I can't make a video all about me," Roman whispered, "That's so self-centered."

"Yeah," Virgil said, gently putting a hand on the prince's shoulder, "That's your literal job, Roman. You're supposed to be a bit of a self-centered brat. Just like Remus is supposed to be a dirty-minded fleabag, and I'm supposed to be a paranoid bitch. We're all supposed to be a little flawed. Everyone expects you to be perfect without expecting that from anybody else, and it's...it's fucked up. But the only way we can change that is by you embracing who you're supposed to be. Instead of constantly trying to be who everyone else wants you to be."

"Virgil...that is the most High School Musical pep talk I've ever heard," Roman remarked, "Except for the calling yourself a bitch part."

"Thanks," Virgil snickered, "I learned everything I know about cheesy pep talks from you. You're Thomas' cheerleader, kid. But- you can't be Thomas' cheerleader without being your own cheerleader too. And I know it's hard. Those other sides are dicks."

"Total limp, floppy, teeny tiny dicks!" Remus piped up.

"Yeah, that," Virgil agreed, before continuing, "But- we just have to be stronger. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you were all alone, because...I want you to know that I always have your back. Always. We fight, but- you're a good guy, Princey. A great guy."

"And you're my brother!" Remus exclaimed,"We're supposed to fistfight each other to the death every full moon! But...you never forget about me. You never act like I don't deserve to exist. What we have isn't exactly friendship, but...I'd call it brotherhood. In that rough-and-tumble, dysfunctional, indie 90's movie way."

"I like that," Roman admitted, "You guys are the best. I- I'm sorry if I haven't been the greatest to either of you before. If I'd known you felt like this about me...I just- I've always been scared to get closer to you two."

"Of course you were scared," Virgil pointed out, "You had no reason to believe we wouldn't treat you just like Patton, Janus, and Logan do. Why would you risk adding to the bully collection? I get it, Princey."

"I get it too," Remus said, "Now come on, guys, can we please stop being cheesy and start getting some revenge?"

"I don't know about all that right now," Roman said, smiling as he let the tears pour down his face, though now, they were tears of joy. "I don't know if I'm ready yet. But one thing's for sure...from now on, those three can make their own damn pancakes!"

All three of them dissolved into giggles. Together, they turned Roman's room into a blanket castle, with pillows stacked to the ceiling to make towers, and string lights hung around the walls to create a nice ambiance. They watched all of Roman's favorite movies, and together, they all sang as loudly as they wanted to.

And it was wonderful.

Roman realized as he tussled and roughhoused with Remus and Virgil between the pillow columns that it was okay to be the egotistical side. And that even though it was hard, Roman was so happy when he was thinking highly of himself, and bragging, and showing off. And he was even happier when Virgil and Remus were supportive, showing off their own flaws with devious pride.

Pride was okay. Here, pride could be, for just a little while, a good thing. And it was so refreshing.

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