#just because we so desperately want trans content

[featherquillpen]

The Ten Best Books I Read This Year

In order of when I read them, not how much I liked them.

Yellowface by R.F. Kuang

A novel about a white author who uses yellowface to achieve literary success. I don't usually read realistic fiction, but I loved Kuang's fantasy novel Babel so I gave this one a try. It is difficult to read, but unputdownable. It's like watching a trainwreck because you just have to see how bad it gets. A takedown of the publishing industry in all its ugliness.

2. Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh

This is exactly the kind of sci-fi I most desire. It's a deradicalization story told from the point of view of a far-right zealot slowly deradicalizing herself. I really enjoyed the insights into exactly what it takes for a dangerously radicalized teenager to change her mind.

3. The Saint of Bright Doors by Vajra Chandrasekera

A novel about a Chosen One who walks away from his destined mission and joins group therapy for failed messiahs. Unquestionably the best book on this list. Mind-blowingly excellent. It's as funny as the premise makes it sound, but also deeply profound, politically astute, and the best new spec fic of the COVID-19 era. Big plague CWs here.

4. El Nunca Más de las locas by Matías Máximo

A non-fiction book about the experiences of LGBTQ people in Argentina in the 1970s and 80s. Only available in Spanish, sorry gringues. The book is not only a great work of scholarship, but way more poetically written than I'm used to from history books. Please more historians write with this level of prose, it really adds something.

5. True Biz by Sara Nović

Again, I don't usually read realistic fiction, but this novel by a Deaf author about a year in the life of a Deaf school really grabbed me. It made me cry a whole bunch, and it took me on a compelling tour of Deaf culture, from former cochlear implant users to CODAs to multigenerational Deaf families.

6. Siren Queen by Nghi Vo

A novel about making it big in the golden age of Hollywood when you're Chinese-American and all the studio execs are fae monsters. I've read novellas by Nghi Vo and loved them so I wanted to graduate to her full novels. Oh my god. She really is such a good writer it makes me foam at the mouth. Magic and fae bargains are such good metaphors for Hollywood.

7. Tell Me I'm Worthless by Alison Rumfitt

Trans horror that endeavors to explain why the UK is LIke That. And boy, does it ever succeed. This book calls for basically every imaginable content warning, but it's so worth it. The audiobook deserves a special shout-out; huge props to Nicky Endres for the spine-chilling and sometimes hilarious performance.

8. The Chosen and the Beautiful by Nghi Vo

After Siren Queen I needed more Nghi Vo as soon as possible, so I got this magical AU of The Great Gatsby told from Jordan Baker's point of view. The magic does add something to Gatsby's parties, but the book is at its best when it delves into the parts that Fitzgerald never touched: Jordan Baker's inner life and her history with Daisy.

9. The Sapling Cage by Margaret Killjoy

Trans anarchist witches? Trans anarchist witches with leftist infighting??? Margaret Killjoy once again I thank you for my life. I love how this book shows you very directly how anarchist societies work on a day to day basis, as well as the problems they face.

10. Pests: How Humans Create Animal Villains by Bethany Brookshire

An amazing non-fiction book about the animals we love to hate. The book's take on controversial issues like white-tailed deer management is very nuanced and takes into account important dynamics of settler colonialism and how it affects all of our relationships with the animals close to us.

[dragonstailbutch]

Hey sorry i am trying to like. find examples of what you mean when you talk about mra stuff and (trans)misogyny in forcemasc content and tumblr search has betrayed me once again, can you explain?

(sorry I normally wouldn't ask but I wanna make sure I'm not perpetuating anything!! Also fucking tumblr search!!! it is ridiculous!)

so ive been sitting on this ask for months since ive got it. i want to do it justice and try to take it at face value that its being honest in asking.

The thing is, theres this trend and a weird amount of effort to be like force femme, to be forceful and like its something to fearful of and give in to. But we cant do that, cause all that does is reinforce the idea that being a man is a toxic thing. I saw this post the other day where a transman talked about like, the whole "raised as a weapon" thing, the violence and horror of being a man and raised that way versus how they felt growng into it as a transman. How they wanted to reclaim that phrase or something? i could be misremembering.

But that was never the intent of forcemasc. It wasnt actually about being a dude, literally *forcing* someone who was unwilling into masculinity, none of the posts that i made that started the community (and yes i, a transfem butch woman, started and made this community and some of yall need to get over yourselves) were ever about that, it was intended to be a soft mimic or even a call to forcefemme.

i was all about making it soft and tender for a reason, cause if i didnt i was only reinforcing the toxic masculinity narrative, "men fighting in the mud" "men are dominant and cool" " to be a man is to be forced into masculinity and to be disgusted with the feminine" or whatever. When masculinity isnt about just men, and being butch isnt just being masculine. masculinity should also be sensitivity, not domination. i wanted it to be better, show a better side of what masculinity could be, what being butch is.

Ive spoken before a bit too, about the tags people used and added to forcemasc, and really maybe i was wrong in ever naming it forcemasc. people used and still use tags like autoandrophilia, autoandrophile, androphile, autogynephilia, androphilia, and autogynephile. Ive seen so many people with urls and tags and posts calling themselves transandrobros, literally calling themselves MRAs, as if that was something to be proud of, as if they dont understand that they arent fighting for their and our rights, they're fighting for cis-mens rights by using those names and terms, not transmascs/transmens rights. I can understand ignorance, but weve talked about how the words you use have history, especially those like the tags i mentioned and androphilia and androphobia and others, all of them have roots in deeeeeeeply misogynistic and transphobic people and history.

Literally all of these are awful and are phrases that arent and wont be reclaimed because theyre history is one of pain and hurting trans people, one of coercive 'help', literal forced detransitioning and reinforcement of MRA and terf narrative that men are both good and the worst creature alive and that to be a woman is to be disgusting and the purest thing all at once. That to be a transwoman is sick and we shouldnt be trusted.

Im trying to be very kind, not scream and rage, not because i dont desperately want to, but because if i do, as a butch transwoman, ESPECIALLY cause i claim being butch, people wont listen to me no matter how much of what i say is meaningful. one of the reasons why im doing this NO, instead of in anothr day or two, is that im coming to terms with the fact that the situation will just get qorse, not better without words.

Part of why im still sane is that ive gotten a couple asks here and there about how my posts and creation of the community has helped them and its so wonderful to see that, genuinely so amazing to see people recontextualize and love themselves. its wonderful and im so fucking happy about it.

i personally made this space so i could love myself, who i am as a trans person and my body, and i knew that other people needed and wanted that for themselves too and i wanted to help, share this love with more people. That to be hairy and chubby and masculine and butch was a nice thing. But to me it feels like it was coerced into being a thing for Men. A thing no longer for me or people like me who share the butch culture and name to no longer enjoy cause people unfamiliar with kink and tran history have decided that masculinity and butchness are the exact same thing. Id say people should go be a bear, but you wont learn their culture either and thats cruel and insulting to bears.

We deserve better You deserve better. Stop falling for the lies and hate. We beg you

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

PWP Recs

Sometimes you just want to get to the point. Twenty-four recs under the cut - comment and kudos if you like them!

Spell Slut by First_Mate (10627, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: fisting :)

Series of one-shots: Essek takes his due payments from Caleb for the favours he did for the Might Nein and uses the opportunity to run some experiments.

Reccer says: If you like your Essek woobification-free, and especially if you like possessek (possessive Essek), this is a real treat!

Caught In Your Undertow by MoonwalkingCrab (13647, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Set in a vague alternate timeline after episode 107, Caleb is lost in his thoughts on a quiet evening when Essek comes to visit.

Reccer says: Is there anything better than porn with feelings? Because it is very porn and there are many feelings.

A Favor In Kind by literalfuckinggarbage (4208, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Yussa spends an evening in Widogast's Nascent Nein Sided Tower alongside Essek, and they discuss with Caleb the repayment of favors.

Reccer says: Caleb deserves to get got by two powerful elven mages at one time! Representation of a trans man who’s had the full package done

Somewhere Only We Know by DotyTakeThisDown (3803, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb and Essek, now married, meet in a demiplane created just for them.

Reccer says: It’s sweet, hot, and optimistic, just lovely really!

a hearth to your hold by renquise (5538, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek had been gone a while. The two are happy to be reunited and have sex about it.

Reccer says: It has so many feelings packed in to wonderful porn! So tender! and A+ use of mage hand, of course

put your sweet lips on my lips by LadyOrpheus (15750, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: Omegaverse

Heat fic without the alpha/omega aspect, just good old drow biology

Reccer says: Very interesting take on heat fic. Also extremely sexy.

where's the point in hurrying (when waiting feels so great) by mllekurtz (4438, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

"You weren’t paying attention." That was Essek’s justification, delivered in a perfectly even and reasonable tone, when he entered Caleb’s study for the second time that evening, wearing nothing but jewellery.

Reccer says: Love love love their whole dynamic! They feel so in character and are very sexy about it.

warm inside (with) you by flammablehat (2023, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: Dubcon/Consensual Non Consent

Essek is sleepy. Caleb is horny

Reccer says: Both soft and sexy! Its obvious they care for eachother and sleepy sex is a fav of mine.

a question of luck by renquise (4847, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

After a night out, Caleb is desperate to express just how much he's attracted to Essek

Reccer says: Another sexy one! Love how pieces of their relationship are shown, along with their care for eachother.

Genre Studies by AnaliseGrey (3959, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

“I suppose you're going to tell me this isn't what it looks like?” “Nein, it is exactly what it looks like.” and what it looks like is tentacles.

Reccer says: Love Caleb being 100% down to explore Essek's kinks!

The Climax by Checkhov (4640, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

After their climb up an anti-magic tower and their endless teasing, the wizards decide to take a long rest in the stairwell. Essek endeavours to make this a peaceful night and fails spectacularly.

Reccer says: I couldn’t have asked for a better endcap for this series! From mutual pining to mutual masturbation, chef’s kiss

Mitosis by queenbeetle (4325, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: Choose Not to Warn

Similacrum enables many Calebs to play with a single Essek

Reccer says: Scorching hot! Overwhelmed Essek is always wonderful.

Struggle by measuringtheabyss (2880, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek ties Caleb up, edges him, then forces him to come three times in rapid succession until he's screaming and crying. Caleb has a *great* time.

Reccer says: Short and sweet. If you're a fan of forced orgasms and/or overstimulation, then this fic is for you.

shrimp vision by Nevenne (3202, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

In earlier editions of D&D, instead of darkvision, drow had infrared vision, meaning they could see heat. This is about what might happen between Caleb and Essek if the latter could see the former’s, um, warm spots.

Reccer says: Xenobiology, Caleb is a horny little shit, Essek is very done, and Caleb bottoms. What more could you ask for?

i’m the powder, you’re the fuse (just add some friction) by bloodredribbon (7747, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek is prim and proper and neat as a pin. Caleb is a messy gremlin and a brat, and it’s kinda turning Essek on.

Reccer says: I love it when Bratleb fucks around and finds out! Frankly, so do Caleb and Essek both. Excellent magical bondage and brat taming here.

something beautiful, a contradiction by bloodredribbon (2514, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb is really into Essek's makeup.

Reccer says: I liked it!

Caleb Kind Of Fucks Up by im_sorry_dont_judge_me (9213, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb misses Essek. Essek calls and has terrible (or maybe great) timing.

Reccer says: I really love accidental voyeurism PWP and this has got to be my favorite of the trope!

Artificer Devices from Late-Period Aeor: An Experimental Interpretation from Arcane Reconstruction to Functionality (E. Thelyss, C. Widogast) by renquise (5858, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb replicates an Aeorian fuch-machine for Essek

Reccer says: Super hot, and their care for each other is obvious.

Sweet Desecration by witches_chant (3061, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek ties Caleb up and challenges him to be good to get his reward.

Reccer says: It's so well written, it feels poetic.

open up the deepness (Essek on the beach) by lakrisrot (10599, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek enjoys a bunch of beach days and gets very horny about it.

Reccer says: This is one of my absolute favorites, it's so beautifully written, the characterization is on point and it's a lot of fun - even on the 10th re-read.

for you it could be anything by nox_nocturnal (1614, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb is too attracted to his partner for them to even make it out of the kitchen

Reccer says: They're so in love! The characterization is wonderful, as is the sex

Soup Powered Fuck Machine by VexedVixen (4388, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb makes Essek his favorite soup. Essek rewards him.

Reccer says: Dirty talk and praise kink, yes please! Does the meme justice lol

Hold Fast by Anonymous (3059, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: Bondage, Spanking

Caleb endures the best, worst predicament bondage, while trying to be quiet.

Reccer says: The word "hot" doesn't do this fic justice but it is indeed smoking hot.

i still worship the flame by dreadelion (4820, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek experiments with shibari on caleb.

Reccer says: Wonderful fic inspired by wonderful art.

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week, we’ll be back with Lifespan Angst Solutions!

[midnightechoes]

I'm not caught up on My Adventures With Superman, but I've seen enough promos posts on social media to know that they seem to be doing something with Kara and Jimmie, which, sigh. I'm sure it's done well, this show is great and it's probably handled fantastically. I can't lie though, a part of me was desperately hoping that this would be the mainstream thing that they let Kara be queer in.

A part of me knew that there wasn't any chance in hell of that happening. At this point, I don't expect anything popular and mainstream to have any queer content beyond minor stuff in the margins. (Like how MAWS let a he/him gorilla and a he/him brain in a jar be a couple in one episode)

I wanted so badly to be proven wrong. Partially because it's Kara and I've been longing so badly for the day they let her actually be queer in one of the mainstream canons and not just in AU stuff like Dark Knights of Steel and Bombshells. As a Kara and Barb shipper in my youth and a supercorp shipper now, I've always read Kara as a queer character, and I've always hoped that would be confirmed someday.

And partially because I fear we are starting to slide backwards.

(Please keep in mind that this is entirely about western animation. I'm not talking about anime or live-action stuff here)

For a moment, it felt like we were building a space for major mainstream LGBTQ+ rep, specifically sapphic rep. You know, not just some minor characters here and there, but main characters, protagonists even.

Steven Universe, Legend of Korra, and Adventure Time led into She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, which immediately led into the Owl House, Harley Quinn, and Dead End: Paranormal Park.

There is Arcane, but with the way Netflix has been recently, I wouldn't be shocked if s2 completely shied away from caitvi being a thing and just never addressed it. Again, I hope I'm wrong. And there's a pretty good chance we still have RWBY's Bumbleby for a little longer. Arcane is ending this fall, and RWBY has maybe 1 - 3 volumes left at most and is having to fight for every one.

Honestly the best thing we have going right now that seems to have a future is Hazbin Hotel, and I understand that's not for everyone.

But on the whole, it feels like the momentum we've been building over the last decade has completely stalled and crashed. Yes, this is very much a byproduct of the entire United States backsliding on the progress its made, but I'm not equipped to have that conversation.

And this has been mostly focused on sapphic representation. Even when the momentum was building, we never even got far enough with having queer men characters and trans characters.

Hopefully someday Kara Zor-El can be a main character in a mainstream thing and actually get to kiss a girl. Hopefully Lena Luthor.

I hope I'm wrong and by this time next year there's a new animated series that's the hottest thing on Max or Netflix and the protagonist is a cocky lesbian that makes out with women everywhere she goes.

I'm hoping.

[fleshengine]

Rocky Horror Picture Show: I didn't like it

Here's the thing, I was mostly paying attention to the puzzle in front of me while I watched it, so I don't think I can call it disjointed and nonsensical in good conscience. When it comes to the actual content I feel like it's somewhere between what people who grew up in the suburbs desperately want to have happen to them, and what their parents are terrified of happening to them. A lot of perverts who don't really have an "in" into sexual communities want to be swept off their feet by a group of people in a sex dungeon. They don't want to have to give consent, they just want things to happen to them. At the same time, being enticed into a house with the promise of safety and being sexually assaulted and raped is something that a lot of conservatives and shit scaremonger about. Neither of these things really happen irl, if you want to be part of a kink scene you have to talk to people and very few people would even consider doing the shit Frank does without prior consent. It's a situation that's both hot and terrifying and is equal parts fantasy and nightmare. In this way, the story is a trans woman.

Anyway heeeyyyyy let's talk about that transmisogynistic stereotype huh? Frank N Furter who I will just call Frank now is like... everything about the stereotype. Intense makeup, evocative dancing, revealing outfits, rapist, violent, seductress, broad shoulders with a thin waste. It's really hard to fully articulate but basically Frank is everything people who fetishize transwomen want about us, and everything people who demonize us hate about us. Look, even down to the name he goes by being a joke about sausage.

It doesn't help that everyone in my life who has expressed a fondness for the movie hasn't been transfem, and I think that's because it makes us feel viscerally uncomfortable. Like, hey look there goes Mr. Transmisogyny raping a married couple and killing a man woohoo I love seeing what the wider public thinks of my existence! At the same time it's held up as a fucking... pinnacle of queer story telling, I've heard there's live productions on pride, and fucking monthly public viewings at theaters. It's ridiculous. I don't care if it was groundbreaking when it was made, or if it holds importance now, it has been made obsolete by the progression of queer rep. We don't have to enjoy transmisogyny anymore, we can just enjoy being trans. I know this is sort of shouting "stop having fun" at people, but I think this movie is harmful to have in the queer cultural zietgiest. I think it should belong in history, not something that you show to everyone you can because "it's so gay, you have to see it." It doesn't help that I saw it right before I saw Psycho for the first time which is also transmisogynistic and demonizes mental illnesses (that I have). No hate to the guy whose house I was at, but those were a combo my dude.

[yuhi-san]

Alright for trigun fanfiction appreciation week by @trigunfanfic I made a small fic record, though I might add more

In the meadow by @eomma-jpeg

Rating M

Tags: Milly has a Savior Complex, No Smut, Slow Burn, farm life, Knives Redemption, Hints at Vashmeryl, but I have other plans for them, POV Multiple, Post-Canon, Post-AnimeTrimax influences, Character Study, Panic Attacks, Social Anxiety, Mutual Pining, References to both Millywood and Vashwood

ngl I just opened it because I was starved for ‘post series knives needs to learn how to live with people’ content. I thought Millyknives was just a case of pairing the ‘leftovers’ but I figured the rest might bee good.

It is so, so good and also, not a case of pairing the leftovers (if you think you don’t care for millyknives, this story will probably convert you lol).

Its 98 trigun with some trimax and stampede elements (Roberto!!). its sweet, its funny, they have ups and downs and without wanting to spoil anything, I love how it does explore that a lot of knives hate for humans stems from fear.

All the original character are great, everyone gets their time to shine, vashmeryl are so cute and silly

Sinking sand by @rainflamestudio

Rating T

Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Found Family, Whump, Smoking, because Wolfwood is here, Trust Issues, Friendship, Mixed Canon, Alien Biology, Nick's dying but he walks it off, dadberto, Nick learns he has friends, Panic Attacks, Sensory Overload

We all love some hurt comfort for vash but this time its wolfwoods turn! he’ is not having a good time but cant ask for help either. Not that this is topping vash, meryl and Roberto from coming to his rescue and staying by his side no matter what.

Hot water by OpticalCrown

Rating G

Tags:   Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Chronic Pain, Character Analysis, Light Angst

A short story about sleeping arrangements, the things vash so desperately wants to hide but Roberto and Wolfwood notice anyway

 

New growth by @puffinpastry

Ongoing

Rating T

Tags: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Millions Knives-centric (Trigun), Depression, Implied Mpreg, Mostly trimax with some tristamp for seasoning, Trans Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Trans Millions Knives (Trigun), Millions Knives domestication arc, Brief suicidal ideation, Knives gets to heal but hes got to confront his past first, Angst with a Happy Ending, past trans male pregnancy, Knives doesn't know how to interact with kids, Silly but its buried under all their issues, Hey knives what if you were confronted with the forgiveness of a small child?

Still ongoing but very good knives has to learn to live with people, specifically vash. its very well written, I love knives in this and the struggle he and vash both have, especially because vash cant just move ast what had happened, even though he kinda wishes he cold. cute kids, also bless wolfwood

The heaviness we’ve known  by @cosmictapestry

 Rating T

Tags: Heart-to-Heart, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Vash the Stampede has Prosthetic Legs (Trigun), Caretaking, past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Violence, Vash the Stampede's Scars (Trigun), Body Modification, Father-Son Relationship, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Episode Tag, Parent-Child Relationship, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Unresolved Tension, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Vash the Stampede Needs a Hug (Trigun)

Look, I love trisamp brad and his relationship to vash. he didn’t do right from the start but he cares so much and this one is just, oof. Goes deeper in the lost tech that keeps vash together and the pain he has from it and how little brad and others sometimes can do. Set after episode 9.

Ricochet by @heffawhump

Rating G

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Sick Character, Poisoning, Caretaking, Hidden Injury, BAMF!Meryl Stryfe, dad!berto, Fluff

Classic hurt comfort and sick character. Very well written, absolutely in love with the gang ready to kick anyones ass that wants vash harm. get them, meryl

Never understood a word by @aboxthecolourofheartache

Rating T

Tags: Road Trips, Introspection, Character Study, Developing Friendships, Trust Issues, Trust, Loneliness, Treasure Hunting, Brotherly Angst, Dysfunctional Family, POV Alternating, Developing Relationship, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, the inherent vulnerability of bringing someone to a favorite location, the inherent sanctity of natural places, eccentricity as plot device, Vulnerability, several instances of blink and you miss it Trimax-flavored Plant lore, Singing

Absolutely amazing story and character study about vash from the view of Roberto, meryl and Wolfwood. Love how it shows that there is so much rage and other emotions bubbling under vashs cheerful attitude because knives tormenting him one way or another is not so easily brusched of. But my favorite part might be that it also shows vashs silly and clumsy persona isn’t all fake either, rather it is an exaggeration of genuine traits he has. Also some really great Roberto rep!

Like Eden by @revenantpoet / @revenantghost

Also known as untitled E fic lol

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, narrative poetry, Frottage, Vash the Stampede Has Plant-Like Genitalia (Trigun), Sexual Inexperience, First Time, They're so in love and they're stupid about it, Written as Vash being demi and Wolfwood being grey but, All I know is Vash is Wolfwood, sexual and Wolfwood is Vashsexual ok, Emotional Sex, Trauma, the usual Guilt, This was supposed to be a quick pwpIt is not, Canon Compliant

Look, I’m not usually one for poetry stile and it never occurred to me before to give it a try. It’s worth getting over the hang up though. It ready very nicely, like following Vash’s thoughts which fits soo well for the situation. Also we need more fics where they get some time after the sandsteamer disaster. And especially of vash getting the chance to show ww the geodome and for him to have a chance to be actually comforted after what happened to livio. It’s a really sweet one, though of course Wolfwood and vash cant make things too easy on themselves… communication is hard isn’t it boys

sorry if this looks all so messy, i have no idea how people have the nerve and patience to put thing togetehr nicely. I might do another list later in the week because there are so many lol

maybe a seperate E list, too (Like eden gets to be here because in my opinion it isn't really that much about the smut and its smal compared to everything else going on.)

[stone4stonerocks]

So! You're stone, great!! Welcome!!!! But oh fuck, how do you meet other stone people?? Tumblr seems like the only place we're all hanging out at, but everyone here is too pussy to message each other and also, for some reason it's physically impossible to meet anyone within a 20 mile radius of where you live. The goddamned distances. Here's where I come in!

You can call me Cupid because I think that's cute. I'm a stone bottom who's femme4butch and desperately single and partially making this for myself but honestly idc as long as it gets some lesbians a gf/head. Whatever tickles your fancy.

Here's how it works!! You send me an ask a la on our backs personals, I post it, people either respond to you directly or if I feel like it and I see someone who's exactly your type who you're perfectly suited for, maybe I'll message you both with whatever they sent me and recommend chatting.

Send me an ask with the following criteria:

*Your age

*what you're looking for (hinge rules, just say whether you're looking for long-term, short-term, flirting, hookups, or friends)

*A brief physical description of yourself or some pictures, a picrew even will suffice

*Where you live (disclaimer, obviously don't give me your full address, but a general vicinity. I.e. I live in New York, I'm comfortable saying queens specifically, but I'd say New York City if I felt otherwise)

*your sexual preferences (again, you don't have to go in detail but for convenience sake please mention whether you're a stone top, or a stone bottom, your hard limits, and if you have any other preferences (being called daddy, liking bondage, enjoying getting head on occasion, not wanting to be touched on the chest, etc etc)

*your username on tumblr, instagram, Snapchat, facebook, wherever you'd like people to contact you

Suggested things to mention!

your pets, hobbies, the last YouTube video you watched, what your favorite color is, what your ideal first date would be, if you want kids, your zodiac sign, any extreme dealbreakers, if you drink/smoke/do any drugs/are sober, if you're an introvert or an extrovert

Ground Rules

No terfs, no zionists. This blog is pro Palestine and loves and supports and wholeheartedly welcomes all trans people.

No minors and no cishet men please.

This is a dating site with dykes (specifically stone4stone dykes) in mind and while other identities are welcomed, it is very much my intention to keep it dyke centered cause we really don't have any other place to go lmao. And minors I know it's lonely out there but this def isn't the place for you sadly. I'm gonna talk about sexual content here and I also cannot guarantee your safety based on who will contact you and I don't feel comfortable being an adult in charge of something like that. Please respect this boundary.

Lastly for everyone else, having someone post their profile here does not automatically mean that they're willing to be with anyone. Please exercise discernment with who you talk to just like you would in real life, and prioritize everyone's enthusiastic consent and comfortability.

Ok psa over, I'm gonna try to add more stuff later maybe I'm making this in a rush lol, but hopefully this helps some people out!!!

[francisinthehouse]

hello tumblr i have just finished reading The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White and i need to scream my thoughts about it into the void

spoiler warning for the entirety of this book, i want to tell you to read it blind but i should ALSO tell you to read the content warnings because yeah, this book is dark and it pulls no punches in depicting horrible shit (this is not a criticism. i love it, but not everyone will and i understand that)

OK RIGHT OFF THE BAT i love Silas as a character so much, as an autistic person i think this is the most seen/understood i have ever felt reading about another autistic person in fiction.

i love you Daphne I was so ready to hate her when she was introduced and then the second she came out to Silas she stole my heart, i'm not trans but that scene almost made me cry.

i would kill for the groundskeeper i hope he knows that, never said a word but he might be one of my favorite characters in the book. wherever he is i hope he's doing well.

i desperately want to know more about the Braxton's girls. what were their lives like before the book, did they have families, did they miss them, did they try to fight back against the horrors they faced there only to become numb to them. what about the girls who managed to leave, what happened to them, what is happening to them.

i love Mary and Frances, but i'm never going to recover from the emotional damage they did to me. i KNEW there was something between them when Mary was introduced but then the scene in the basement happened and i sobbed uncontrollably. i will NEVER get over Frances haunting Mary's ring and Mary calling Frances her wife in the epilogue.

what the HELL happened to Charlotte. we know she's in Braxton's for being a feminist, what kind of hell did they put her through for her to become the way she is in the book?

Harriet Johnston. holy fucking shit, Harriet Johnston. everything about her scene fucking broke me. i can't even ask what she did to deserve that because nothing she could have done would warrant that.

the bathroom scene. anyone who has read the book knows what i'm talking about. Isabella i am so sorry. the fact that Silas was able to save her, that she WOULD HAVE SURVIVED had Headmaster not caught her. the tragedy that she died so close to the climax, that she was so close to surviving and escaping but that the climax also would have never happened if she did survive. she was dead no matter what, and she deserved so much better.

Mrs Forrester is such an interesting character to me. she's just as much a victim of the system as she is a perpetrator of it, and in a weird way i love the fact that she isn't redeemed by the end. also how poetic and tragic is it that the first student of Braxton's dies with it?

George sucks, he can fuck off and die for all i care. over and over he was given the choice to do the right thing and every time decided not to because it would have made HIS life harder. Elsie deserves a better husband, Silas deserves a better brother. he's not even the worst character morally, but i can't even say that i hate his guts because he has no guts for me to hate at all.

i am fully prepared to ramble more about this book when i can form coherent thoughts, i am trying but my brain is still spinning at light speeds and the words are not coming out right. i am so normal about this book

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

please tell us more about moth wizard

With pleasure!!! (Although I have to keep it short because I need to sleep pretty soon BUT I can add more tomorrow)

Moth Wizard is one of my OCs and also the (temporary) name of the setting in which he is the main character.

Moth Wizard the character is a Jewish trans man who has learned magic and specializes exclusively in controlling moths. He is likely autistic and loves lepidopterans (moths and butterflies) and struggles with social cues and understanding what other people are thinking or able to infer from a situation. My boyfriend has recently been reading me the Discworld books (focusing on the Watch recently finishing Feet of Clay, which was amazing btw but I think my favorite scene was Dorfl's last one... reminds me of a certain story from the Talmud teehee) so if you're familiar, I find that Moth Wizard is a lot like Carrot Ironfoundersson. He's kind and humble and just wants to help, but can sometimes be totally oblivious to how others interpret a situation. The main difference being that Moth Wizard is not quite so charismatic, both in his social awkwardness and in his humble appearance.

The idea is that he's only the main character in the sense that we take his point of view and that he is in every "episode" (I think of the story in terms of a TV show, I'll probably never get that far but the IDEA is that I'm gonna do it all in Blender), but every story is actually about someone else, it's like he just walks in and becomes a side character to someone else's adventure, with a different adventure each episode.

Moth Wizard the setting is a post apocalyptic fantasy world. Essentially, although humans and most of the Earth survived, war and climate change and the hunger of capitalism escalated until most established power structures crumbled, and then on top of all that, suddenly humans could do magic! Basically, chaos. But not the end of humanity. And the survivors built new communities and generally speaking there is peace, or at least no group is large or organized or armed enough to engage in anything that can be called "war" and still seeing the smoke from the last time war happened, few are eager to change it. But that's politics, not what I meant to talk about.

People who decide to pursue magic are called wizards, and generally they will specialize around some concept, because it's just a lot more convenient. It was originally teenagers who discovered magic, because the way magic works is that you need to do it on purpose. You need to focus and genuinely try, in that special way that you stop doing as you grow older, because you learn that all you'll achieve is making yourself look stupid. To use magic in the world of Moth Wizard, you need to be vulnerable and put your faith in what you're doing, enough that you might cry if it doesn't work because of disappointment and/or embarrassment. And teens are great at that. Children have imagination, yes, but they're not vulnerable in the same way (and also I need some way to make sure children aren't going around summoning dragons or raising the dead), and usually they're not as desperately hopeless as someone experiencing puberty and all the horrors that come with it. Teens are perfect because (generally) they have pride to hurt and hopes to crush, but still haven't "grown up" to the point where they don't believe in magic enough to be truly vulnerable about it.

That's all I've got time to say right now, but if you want more Right Now, here's a link to a list of my most developed characters, each with a brief description!

And you can also join the "Moth Wizard fandom" community if you'd like, where I will occasionally post bonus content, and I'm hoping if more people join we can have discussions about it! Totally optional but here's the invite link for anyone interested!

Thank you so much for the ask, anon!!!

[roadkillxd]

Soap and Bottom M reader fucking in bunny outfits as Soap’s Easter gift (it’s funny because of the joke about rabbits constantly “multiplying” 🐰🐇

Fuck yes. I made the reader trans for more of that breeding authenticity, and also to keep the bunny plug in. Also I didn't misspell kids—kits are baby rabbits. Happy fuckin' Easter! Jesus wept...

Soap x FTM!Reader ↪ 608 words — 18+ / SMUT.

Content tags — trans male submissive reader, cis male dominant Soap, fem terms used for trans male reader (in dialogue, but not description), piv sex, unsafe sex, begging, mild feminization, butt plugs, breeding kink, implied/referenced pregnancy, light degradation, implied/referenced public sex, pet play, and a bit of cockwarming.

Soap knows how to move his hips.

He’s fucking into you hard and fast, goddamn gyrating almost, as he plows you. He groans at how your wet hole squelches around the wide girth of his cock, one hand on your hip to rock you back and forth with his movements, the other teasing at the bunny tail butt plug you’re wearing.

You keen as he presses on the plug, wiggling it, and he curses under his breath at how hard you clench around him.

“Can’t believe you fuckin’ wore it,” he groans, body splaying out over your back, thrusts becoming stilted humps as he messily mouths at your shoulder, sucking bruises into the flushed skin.

You arch your neck, trying to lean back to capture his lips. He kisses you open-mouthed and saliva slick, more tongue than anything else, your bunny ears bouncing on your head and making him grin as he grinds hard into you, the ridge of his cock perfectly rubbing against your sweet spot as you moan and squirm.

“Wanted to bend you over in the bar, pet,” he says, spitting out the last word somewhere stuck between degradation and adoration. It makes your head spin. “Wanted to show everyone who the cute little bunny belongs to—Christ, bend you over and breed you in front of everyone. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

You cry out, nodding, rocking back against his hips desperately.

“God, Soap—fuck, please, please, wan’ it!”

You can feel his sharp grin against the side of your neck before he straightens back up, the hand that’d been teasing at the plug sliding up your spine and grabbing the back of your neck. He pushes hard, forcing you down—making you present.

“There we go,” he coos, “that’s a good rabbit. Right where you belong. Head down, arse up, huh?”

You moan, nodding dumbly as he resumes his brutal pace, the smack of his hips turning your ass and thighs red, his balls slapping against you adding to the stimulation.

He alternates between fast, harsh thrusts and slow, gyrating grinding, making you keen and claw at the sheets, desperately trying to rock back against him, his strong hand on your hip holding you in place.

“Fuckin’ Christ, pet, cunt’s so damn tight. Really want me to knock you up, huh? Fill this pretty pussy—?” He groans, his movements becoming more sloppy, stilted, “c’mon, wanna hear you say it.”

“Johnny—” you whine, drooling, so fucked out, “oh god, please, wan’ you to cum in me—w-want your kits.”

“Oh, fuck,” he growls, arms moving to wrap around your chest, pulling you up as he fucks up into you a few final times. You can feel his cock pulse within your walls, hot spurts of cum filling your already overheated hole. 

He groans and growls throughout, messily licking and nipping at your shoulder and neck as he rides out his orgasm, his hand coming down to play with that little bud of nerves, stroking it quick and rough—you were already so close just from his cock, it only takes a moment for that overwhelming wave of pleasure to rock through your body, making you see white as you arch and spasm against his strong hold, head lulling against his shoulder as you finally go limp. 

He nuzzles against you, stubble rubbing rough against your skin as he coos and whispers praise, his big hand splayed out against your tummy and rubbing gently like it would ever actually take.

He maneuvers the both of you to lay down, spooning you, careful to keep his softening cock within your wall as you slowly start to drift in his warm embrace.

[doomedtokill]

hiiii! i just wanted to ask a few questions about tgirl reg because im slowly becoming obsessed how does it fit with evanreg? cause i think i saw you post something about trans girl reg and then say something about loving evanreg in the tags and i cant stop thinking about if they are connected. cause obviously we all love t4t evanreg but i always thought about it as trans guy x trans guy and the idea of it being t4t straight couple is fascinating to me also. does she keep her old name? cause i feel like she would, but i also am very open to sugestions about basically every single hc so i would love to hear ur opinion on that and also just in general i love trans girl regulus any thoughts about her that you'd like to share i would love to read thats all mwah bye

hi rem<33

i think everyone should be obsessed with trans girl reg, there is so much to explore

my evanreg they are both trans, evan is ftm and regulus is mtf. their dynamic suits the love and understanding which comes with t4t, their childhoods of high expectations, to act as the perfect child when its killing them inside, finally breaking away from their families, finding each other and being loved for as themselves for the first time, they help each other through their transition, each others biggest supporter. they both have separate friendship groups but they overlap which allows them healthily separation but can enjoy going out together without feeling like an outsider. they have a small flat together which is covered in plants and overflowing with books but it cosy, they also have a cat who is spoiled rotten

i think regulus was thinking of changing her name but evan called her the prettiest star and fell in love with her name all over again despite it being really sappy. it allowed her to be content with her body and no longer desperately changing it to pass. She becomes the happiest shes ever been and realises life's worth living, she knows shes always going to have anxiety but she can mange it now. she starts to explore her style more but still obsessed with short skirts as they make her feel so euphoric, which would never change. she rediscovers low rise jeans, which have changed as her fats redistributes, she likes to have matching outfits with evan now

[prince-liest]

YOURE TELLING ME MY DESPERATION FOR TRANS VOX CONTENT INFECTED YOU ????? AND THE NEXT INSTALLMENT IS ABOUT IT AS WELL AS VOX FINALLY GETTING FUCKED? YOURE JOKING. YOURE JOKING. OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDHHSHSJEHEHRJRE IM SOBBING ON THE FLOOR I PRAYED FOR TIMES LIKE THESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m ready to get sucker punched!!!!!!!!!!! in all seriousness i’ve never been so excited for a fic update in my LIFE. HOORAYYYYYYY!!!!!!! and who wants to bet that alastor at first uses the vox getting fucked event as a balm to his current fractured ego, but then gets genuinely overwhelming fucking fond? nearly ruins the whole thing for him. all i’m SAYING is the there’s wayyyyy to much evidence of alastor getting, in his words, “squishy feelings” about vox when he acts Particularly uhhh….. unfiltered. and something tells me vox is gonna be unfiltered. the possibilities im SO EXCITED!!!! - 🌓

Under a cut for length!

and ANOTHER THING. alastor making a FUCKING DEAL?.????? as you know i was already wrung dry by that point in the story, ready for the cool down from high emotions, then BOOM. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK? I NEEDED TO TAKE A BREAK WITH VOX!!!!!!!! ALASTOR YIU FUCKING MAD MAN. and yes i IMMEDIATELYYYYYYY noticed that vox essentially agreed to nothing while alastor agreed to something WAY more soul binding. im just in shock because i think this is the biggest display of love alastor has portrayed in the whole series so far. even BY far. with the sexual stuff, alastor is/was new to it all and unsure. even with the general intimacy stuff. but this? deals? soul contracts? this is His Domain. so far, vox has been guiding alastor through this relationship, and alastor has almost had a plausible deniability in it all. like clearly, he enjoys it and loves vox, even if he doesnt acknowledge it to himself. but his facade allows him the distance to claim Vox is the one making this relationship happen, and alastor is going along on a whim. we even see it in the last chapter, when alastor says he never trusted vox [hilarious that he said that right after he said that he trusted vox. alastor revealing things he didn’t mean to when scared and angry is my favorite theme in this series], and overall said this whole thing was a mistake and he was Foolish for being TRICKED INTO IT!!! i’m not explaining this well but the idea is that alastor had the plausible deniability that he was the Passive Participant thus far. this deal? CHANGES ALL OF THAT. on a base level, it shows that he’s so serious about this relationship that his FUCKING SOUL IS ON THE LINE. THE THING THAT JUST TRIGGERED HIM INTO HIS FIRST PANIC ATTACK? YEAH THAT. and of course that the contract was wayyyyyy more binding for him than vox. and that he clearly KNEW that. it’s just all a double edged sword. alastor made the deal in order to flex his power and pull one over on vox, which soothed him after the panic attack and vox seeing him that “weak”. but he also did it because vox opened up to him about his experience with domestic violence. and he felt so uncomfortable and guilty (YES guilty im interpreting it like that) about it that, at the very least subconsciously, he immediately made a SOUL CONTRACT that he’d never attack vox again rashly. like oh my fucking god. this, in turn, shows how invested he is, and how much he cares for vox. IN SUM. alastor probably made this deal as a conscious power play, but it really just showed how much he loves and respects vox. LOSER!!!!!!! and is this reminding anyone of anything? seems to be paralleling vox carving himself up for alastor post adam. god these ancient men. sorry for the essay !!!! if you were a college professor and i had to write analytical essays on your work i PROMISE i would tear that shit up. LIFE IS GOOD. -🌓

Hey anon, I just want you to know that ILY and I love your essays. This is like the most exciting and gratifying pair of asks to wake up to as an author, ehehehe. You are VERY on point and I love reading your analysis! >:))

[theswiftheartsystem]

(New!) The Swift Heart System Introduction💙

cw: syscourse, and general discourse.

Basic Information:

Collective Name: Refer to us as Swift Heart if not sure!

Collective Pronouns: They/Them, or Ask!

Collective Gender: Pangender, GenderFluid, and genders along that spectrum are all okay with us 👍

We are white, afab and American, keep in mind our perspective is based around our personal experience, and what we have learned about.

Alter Count at the moment: Around 400, but we are aware it’s more, we don’t really care much about alter count all things considered lol.

Host: As of now, none! Even when we have one it isn’t very long!

Origin: Traumagenic

Disorders that we have: DID (what this blog is mainly about), BPD, Autism, C-PTSD, GAD, and possibly OCD (although we would lie to discuss it with a therapist/psychiatrist beforehand for personal comfort!)

Extra: We are Pro-Endo!!!! Although we cannot stop you from interacting if you are anti-endo, We kindly request you please just block us and move on if you have a problem with that.

About Us:

Why are we pro-endo?: When we were first discovering our system we were desperate to be “real enough” and accepted. Although the first system we discussed plurality with was pro-endo, they left the internet shortly after we opened up, and this lead us to being around sysmeds. To prove ourselves we purposely forced ourselves to remember trauma which put us in a worse position mentally. It took a long time, but through working to accept ourselves, we realized how bigoted we were being, which lead us to question a lot of things, such as our beliefs on endogenic plurality. Although we have gone a long way, some of our alters do not agree with us because it got so drilled into our mind that “endogenic systems are somehow just traumagenic and don’t remember” (which is a incredibly misinformed and harmful.)

What do we plan to talk about on this blog?: Really whatever we feel like! We may talk about Syscourse, plural positivity, advice from personal experience, our trauma, special interests and hyperfixations, ect. If we want to talk about it we probably will. (Although we always try to put the proper trigger and content warnings, and if we miss one by accident please tell us so we can add it as soon as possible!)

How to contact us/ask us a question: DMs are normally open unless a situation is happening! Along with that, feel free to use the ask me anything button, comment section on posts, or reblogs!

Mistakes on post: If we make a mistake, please inform us! We are always open to editing post (and do quite a bit), and we aren’t perfect, and especially if we say something bigoted, please correct us we are always open to learning about these topics, and acknowledge that we are privileged in certain ways. We would rather delete a long post we worked hard on if it is harmful then keep it up and go “wellll- it doesn’t affect me personally”

What are we “Pro” on:

We are obviously pro-endo!

We are pro self help. Although we think therapy is beneficial in many ways, not everyone can get a good therapist, wether that’s for financial reasons, none near you, or ableism, racism, sexism, ect in the medical/mental health field. Also it can benefit everyone to learn new coping mechanisms! (Please see a doctor if you are ill! You can only help yourself so much! We do not condone refusing to see doctors when you need to!!!

We are pro self diagnosing! (Just please do proper research before so, and even if it turns out you where wrong, you aren’t faking unless you actively attempt to fake.)

We are pro neopronouns and xenogenders!

People with villainized disabilities and/or mental disorders!

What are we “anti” on:

The trans-Id community. We don’t talk about this on this blog due to a lot of these people in this community being children, although we think what they are doing is dangerous and harmful, We would rather not direct harassment towards children. That being said, please do not harass anyone. (Also wanting to add, we are not anti-BIID, BIID is a completely separate thing.)

Bigotry.

”Narcissistic/Borderline/ect abuse” People with personality disorders can be abusive like anyone else can, but the idea of “[PD] abuse” is just to villainies those with Personality Disorders. This stops making sense when you change the disorder. (Example: “Post-Traumatic abuse” this sounds over the top, but we have legitimately seen someone say this.)

Ending:

Thanks for reading! Have a nice day, and remember you are doing great.

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

Older Favourites 6: A Shadowgast Rec List

For the end of the month, it's time for the 6th list of older favourites. Check under the cut for 9 (nein!) fics updated over two years ago!

the mortifying ordeal of being known by idontreallylikebutterflies (5754, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

The Mighty Nein love each other, but they also spend most of their time between insults and teasing. Essek wants to know them, and wants to understand their contradictions, but mostly Essek wants to deserve to be known by them.

Reccer says: A great classic Essek learns more about the Mighty Nein (and their lack of boundaries) fic. Extremely soft

sleeping in the shadow of an other self by nonwal (32857, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Major Character Death, references to torture

In which Essek is resurrected by the Mighty Nein and framed for innocence.

Reccer says: This is one of the cleverest fics I’ve ever read. You need to go in spoiler-free the first time because the reveal is glorious��and artfully foreshadowed, so you just might guess right along the way. The MCD is NOT permanent.

Creature Comforts by mousecookie (4645, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek doesn't realise that the cat sitting on his lap isn't Frumpkin

Reccer says: Such a fun premise and generally so sweet!

A Favor In Kind by literalfuckinggarbage (4208, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Yussa spends an evening in Widogast's Nascent Nein Sided Tower alongside Essek, and they discuss with Caleb the repayment of favors. (Or, what if all the wizards blew off some fucking steam during the Eiselcross arc)

Reccer says: Not only is this exceptionally hot PWP, it’s a depiction of a “fully” transitioned trans man the likes of which is painfully scarce and we very desperately need more of.

Somewhere Only We Know by DotyTakeThisDown (3803, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb and Essek, now married, meet in a demiplane created just for them.

Reccer says: This is short, sweet, HOT, and optimistic.

Mishap by ThreeGremlinsInATrenchcoat (29285, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Mentions of fantasy racism

Separated from rhe Mighty Nein, desperate, and almost beaten, Caleb grabs Essek and a trinket and Teleports them to safety. Except the destination they land in is not the one he had chosen.

Reccer says: Prepare to cry! This author really knows their way around a grief monologue!

Lay Your Bones by LadyOrpheus (53587, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

On a mission to capture Essek, Verin relises his brother and Caleb have a child and a life together

Reccer says: I love all the feelings Caleb goes through, and the interactions with the nein and Yuna are amazing

A Flumph for Your Thoughts by toneofjoy (3715, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

During his Aeor trip with Essek, wild magic transforms Caleb into a flumph.

Reccer says: I liked it!

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week, we’ll be back with poly ships!

[t4t4t]

What can we do against monsters?

This has been something that I have been thinking deeply about for a few days now, and it's been a few days not because the news broke, but because I was one of the first people to see it.

And that's because Aaron Bushnell had watched my content, my friends and comrades' content, and supported us. I saw the video of him calmly, bravely, stepping into a storm of flames that would ultimately kill him to bring attention to others on the other side of the ocean who were dying in similar and worse ways, on the very day that he did it. On the Twitch channel he streamed it on. Another member of my community had brought the account to my attention, and I recognised the name, and a corresponding youtube channel.

To be frank, my first thoughts were "why? you could have done anything but this! why?" I'm sure many of us can relate to this.

But recently it has hit me.

A person, who by all accounts of what information I can find online, was a closeted trans person (he used he/she pronouns in other discords I shared with her, and overwhelmingly went by the name of "Lilly" on her youtube and twitch and discord accounts) who was in the US Air Force, an organisation that has indeed in the past simply disappeared individuals who express any sentiments that their operations are unjust or evil, who knew in fact that one day soon, she may be sent to murder innocent Gazans in one of the most despicable genocides in recent history. 

Perhaps she had already been forced to participate in it. From what we know, she didn't appear to have been directly involved in the genocide. 

https://www.kenklippenstein.com/p/what-aaron-bushnell-did-in-the-military

But she ultimately felt complicit in a way that demanded action.

So what were Aaron/Lilly's options? Sedition? Traitorism? Perhaps it simply wasn't in her nature to want anyone to die. Perhaps she had already been forced to kill people indirectly and didn't want anyone else to, no matter how complicit they were in the murder of the colonised Palestinians. These are unknowns. But what we do know is that she completed one of the most radical and extreme acts of protest possible. She joins a long list of self-immolated martyrs of many struggles.

And to be clear here, I do not use the word martyr here flippantly. The countless Yemeni and Palestinian voices who have called her that, and awarded her many other honourable accolades including being publicly honoured in Sana'a, Yemen, yesterday (February 27th, 2024), confirm that this is how colonised and oppresssed people view her as part of their struggle.

https://x.com/intifada/status/1762670714060968139?s=20

https://x.com/Aldanmarki/status/1762043564870045992?s=20

https://x.com/ShaykhSulaiman/status/1762225663673561346?s=20

https://x.com/karaokecomputer/status/1762232705717322180?s=20

https://x.com/BIG__Brother7/status/1762090633873752093?s=20

Not just Palestinians, but globally, multiple anti-imperialist nations' representatives have expresssed a deep love and respect for her actions.

https://x.com/upholdreality/status/1762275594622943430?s=20

https://x.com/magne_toes/status/1762219467507945956?s=20

https://x.com/evoespueblo/status/1762588988445962341?s=20

It is only really white western imperialists who do not understand the act of self-immolation as an act of protest. From the endlessly proselytising zionist fascists who are celebrating another dead supporter of Palestine, to the moronic liberal desperation we've seen focusing on individualist and poorly understood anti-abolitionist mental health based criticisms: they simply do not understand what this means. What it represents. 

I would encourage people to read the information available about Thich Quang Duc, the Vietnamese buddhist monk who famously self-immolated in protest of the colonising of his homeland in 1963. It sent shockwaves around the world, just as Aaron/Lilly's death has and will continue to do. 

Thich Quang Duc's heart refused to burn to ashes even on a second cremation attempt of his remains, and is now displayed as a holy relic in Vietnam. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Th%C3%ADch_Qu%E1%BA%A3ng_%C4%90%E1%BB%A9c

I wonder if Aaron/Lilly's heart would be given the same attention by her funeral organisers. I believe her heart, and the heart of everyone who engaged in such an act in the past for righteous causes are simply indestructible. Wherever it is, may it bless all those who come near and remind them of what she died for. These people were too kind and sweet for this world and the permanence of their remains is an testament to that.

Aaron/Lilly's friends have all commented on how sweet and kind and caring she was, and how  dedicated she was to the cause of liberation and anti-colonialism worldwide. There is nothing bad that can be said about her, even in the long aftermath of her death. She was simply human, in a world that is deeply, deeply inhuman.

She was up against monsters. Monsters that cannot be slain by ordinary means. Monsters that are many headed, can regenerate, and duplicate. Powerful demons that control our world and wreak havoc and pain and suffering wherever they choose to plunder, as greed is at their heart.

She acted in a way that she felt was the only way that she could. Her hand was inarguably forced, to do the one desperate thing she could to draw attention to what is happening.

May her spirit soar in the halls of our ancestors and rest easy knowing that we are all completely in awe of her bravery, dedication and solidarity.

I want to make some things clear at the end of this post however.

I have stated this on my twitter, and on my stream, but it bears repeating here. While I think this needed to be addressed in an appropriate way, and I stand by everything I have said above, I do not want anyone else to do this. I do not believe this is something that we have to do in order to make change happen.

I have always said that the need for non-violent building of power takes precedent over every single action that is done or proposed here in the imperial core. The fact of reality is that capitalism and imperialism are failing. It will soon come to a head where these violent machines will fail to work, or simply be abandoned by those who operate them. It is at that point that we absolutely necessarily must have a support network of power that means we can survive outside of that system and create a new world of fairness where everyone has what they need to survive and no one suffers harm and discrimination. I stand firm in my position that we can build this world together.

I want this world desperately. I want a world where people like Aaron/Lilly do not feel so desperate to do something so valiant and self-destructive because they have no other option.

So my final word on this matter is this.

We must continue to fight for this world and build it in her memory and honour. Not only is it what she would have wanted, it is what she died for. 

Mourn the dead. And fight like hell for the living.

[lilac-hecox]

I'm okay with ianthony withdrawing from the camera as long as it's what they want to do. I'd be sad if they were doing it because they don't think people are interested anymore because they are! If they had carried on like they did when they first bought smosh back, with regular pit and games appearances, social media, engagement with members, weekly sketches etc, I'm sure they'd still be getting great views. It's not coincidence that the views went down when they started to withdraw. I just hope they don't think their time is done and that they're taking a well-deserved break instead

Yes, that's the trouble. I want them to be happy but I will miss them desperately. In the members video where Angela impersonates Ian, at one point she talks to Alex Tran and they say to her as Ian "aren't you on a two month paid vacation?"

Now, I don't know if that's a joke or if Ian and Anthony literally are on a paid break between end of June and August? I know @ianthoni said Ian talked about filming the Lunchtime Pod in a shoot block of four episodes, which can account for why they are every two weeks, to last the majority of their vacation, so that being said, that can be why the boys just aren't in any content right now? Or haven't been since June? (is that accurate idr the last time they were in a games or pit vid off the top of my head).

Basically, I want the boys happy but I also desperately want them in content and I didn't realize a year ago when they were around so much that we were being spoiled and I'd miss it.