#just because someone knows that it’s important for people to check their biases doesn’t mean they always succeed at it themselves

[yourqueenb]

This might seem like it’s coming out of left field, but I’m gonna say it anyway because it’s something that’s been in the back of my mind for actual years…

I feel like a good number of Choices fans on Tumblr specifically have this weird sense of hero-worship for Andrew Shvarts because he had a major hand in two of the most popular series (Blades and BB), because he can use basic symbolism, and because he is at least mildly aware that writers should be critical in both creating and consuming. And due to that, those particular fans think that anything he puts out is like the most groundbreaking thing to exist and is above criticism when it comes to the underlying messages. However, that could not be further from the truth. And I think it’s funny how those fans praise him for that last point about being critical when they clearly haven’t completely grasped what that means

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Barrister Law USA on Twitter has said the Harkles are living apart. We may be advised to take every post by accounts online ‘with a grain of salt’ but when multiple blogs and accounts are posting the same thing, something must be going on.

Barrister Law is not credible. They’re a lawyer in the southern US who has a medical emergency every time they get called out or challenged by the twitterati. Someone who can’t handle the heat isn’t someone who has trustworthy gossip.

But a broken clock is right twice a day.

And, do you know why we always say “take with salt” when it comes to internet gossip? Because it’s all anonymous sources that cannot be verified from anonymous accounts that cannot be authenticated. We have no idea if everyone is using the same sources. We have no idea if people are making things up. We have no idea if the sources are legitimate or if they have a grudge or if they have actual connections or if there’s bias involved.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say this again: Just because multiple accounts and blogs are talking about the same thing, it doesn’t mean it’s actually happening. All it means is that those accounts and those blogs are in the same echo chamber and share many of the same users/visitors. That’s why it’s important to diversify where you get your news (or gossip) from, so you get out of that echo chamber so you can see what is really happening.

So for me, when I see the same stories on my spectrum of websites, that tells me something is brewing - because I know liberal publications and bloggers absolutely do not have the same sources as conservative publications and bloggers.

For the record, since many are asking:

CDAN and Enty do completely make things up themselves but they do have good connections to Hollywood PR

DeuxMoi also makes things up and has gone on the record saying they make things up. Not trustworthy at all.

Exposing SMG takes gossip and analysis from other blogs and websites and repackages it as their own.

I do believe that Lady C has sometimes-knowledgeable sources but she keeps moving the goalposts for The Big Sussex Takedown so her accuracy is doubtful. I think she makes some things bigger to keep her audience and viewers engaged.

BarkJack/TLF has bonafide journalism credentials but I doubt their sources are still in the know because everything they take credit for happened years ago and their scoops are so vague (to protect their sources, as they always claim) because it lets them take credit for everything no matter how it actually happens.

Astrology and tarot is all subjective based on the reader and the reader’s own biases and I don’t consider their readings to have any authority until after a prediction has come to pass.

But what I do note about astrology and tarot is that when several people on different platforms who I know don’t know each other are saying the same/similar things, that’s worth paying attention to. And so far, that “universal signal�� (if you will) has only happened three times: in mid-2017 when many of these began picking up on a new baby for the Cambridges, in 2020 or 2021 (I’ll have to find my notes to double-check specific dates) when those sites noted a pregnancy loss for the Cambridges, and this summer when they were seeing big changes in store for the Sussexes October/November. While these sites are saying different causes (Sussex divorce/separation, the children and LOS issues, the children’s titles, Charles modernizing, Charles dying, Sussexes returning) they’re all citing October/November timeframe. That’s worth paying attention to, IMO.

I don’t watch any of the royal YouTubers so I can’t comment on any of them.

Reddit is kinda a crapshoot. It’s hit or miss. SMM gets good gossip but the channel and most of its commentariat have huge angry biases against the Sussexes so I always question how much of it is real and how much of it is exaggerated for engagement. The Royal Gossip sub is fairer but they also cover all royals everywhere and sometimes you may have to dig.

Quora is definitely a crapshoot. Christopher Jones/Jackson/Johnson (I forget his last name) started out credible but lately seems to be more fantastist and I’m not sure that he’s as credible or believable any more.

[raikkonenvettels]

Huskerdust pleasee !! 😭 (i just realize they would be perfect for this and im obsessed with them rn)

AAA SOMEONE ASKED ABOUT MY BELOVED BABIES!!! thank you so much this was so cool to do!!! (also it reminded me i have to post the simi x huskerdust pics lol)

who hogs the duvet

i think angel does but it doesn’t really matter bc they sleep basically glued to each other anyway so it doesn’t really matter akdksks

who texts/rings to check how their day is going

HUSK HE ALWAYS WORRIES SO MUCH FOR ANGEL!!! he will make angel tell him his schedule and he WILL call after every client/shoot!!!

who's the most creative when it comes to gifts

i think husk??? he is definitely a big big romantic guy so he gets very meaningful gifts (he also gets gifts for fat nuggets bc he knows how important the baby is to angel and he also loves him (he is the parent that stepped up‼️)

who gets up first in the morning

unfortunately angel because he has to go to work :( and well husk is husk if he didn’t have to say goodbye to angel in the morning he would NOT be up at that hour (just cat things)

who suggests new things in bed

i think we all know this akdnsns (sorry angel i love u so much 😭)

who cries at movies

angel ofc (he drapes himself over husk as he cries and sobs so much. husk is annoying amused and fond all at the same time akdnsn)

who gives unprompted massages

husk. after a long day of work angels definitely deserve them <333

who fusses over the other when they're sick

they both do akdjsn

who gets jealous easiest

most people would say husk (and he does get jealous too, ofc) but to me it’s definitely angel, he is scared husk would want someone whom is easier to be with if it makes sense?

who has the most embarrassing taste in music

i am convinced husk listen to jazz unironically. angels makes so much fun of him

in turn, tho, angel listens to old italian music sometimes and that’s when husk gets his revenge skdjsk

who collects something unusual

angel. he collects sex toys <333 (i’m sorry for this one) no but seriously i am somehow convinced husk loves vinyls so i will say that!!!

who takes the longest to get ready

angel ofc 😩 looking perfect takes time!!!

who is the most tidy and organised

none of them but the more organized i think would be angel because i don’t think he likes messes!!! he just doesn’t have time most of the time to actually tidy stuff

who gets most excited about the holidays

angel!!! christmas is acc pretty important to italians bc of family so yes definitely him (and well, he has a brand new found family in the hotel so yeah. also it’s a time to cheris his siblings as well, esp molly bc he misses her a lot)

who is the big spoon/little spoon

husk is the big spoon and angel is the little spoon but husk is also a backpack bc angel is so much taller than him akdnsn

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports

both i think akxjsj but esp husk (he is a poker player after all)

who starts the most arguments

i’ll go with angel on this one (mostly bc of his insecurities and stuff, he doesn’t mean to :( )

who suggests that they buy a pet

well they already have one thanks to angel so him ahah

what couple traditions they have

they go flying and they forget the world exists for a little

what tv shows they watch together

ANGEL DEFFO MAKES HUSK WATCH HELL-A-NOVELA AKDJNSNS (husk hates it but also finds it so stupid it’s actually funny)

what other couple they hang out with

chaggie and sir pentious and cherry!!!

how they spend time together as a couple

i personally think they spend most of the time they have together either cuddling or going on dates

who made the first move

i think it was deffo husk, and angel didn’t even think he was serious at first lol

who brings flowers home

husk bc angel deserves all the flowers <333

who is the best cook

ANGEL!!! not to be biased but he is italian i know he is the best

[maxdibert]

I’m rereading the Harry Potter books, and the amount of hatred I feel toward Hermione is insane.

I was always a very shy student who struggled with learning because everything distracted me during class. When I asked the teacher a question or was asked something directly, it was incredibly important to me because it was the only way I could truly learn—through direct interaction. Unfortunately, I always had the "luck" of sharing classes with those types who love answering questions that weren’t directed at them, trying to stand out as “the smartest” or meddling in my business.

While the fandom adores Hermione for being “so intelligent” and knowing all the answers, she’s actually a nuisance. Supposedly being “the smartest” and having this constant need to prove herself, she hinders others from learning by butting in where she doesn’t belong.

I think it’s very biased when, for example, Lupin says she’s “the brightest witch of her age” or something along those lines. Of course she stands out—she never lets anyone else answer before she opens her mouth or gets called on.

Honestly, the only reason I like Hermione is because she’s the only well-built and developed female character in the entire bloody series, since the rest are absolute rubbish, and honestly, Rowling makes them terribly one-dimensional in general (which is ironic considering she likes to pose as a feminist). But as a person, Hermione would drive me up the wall.

As a teenager, I thought some people disliked her because of that misogynistic trope where proactive and intelligent women are always looked down upon or labelled as annoying. But as the years have gone by, I’ve come to the conclusion that no, it’s because Hermione was annoying.

I wouldn’t have been able to stand having her as a classmate because I found teacher’s pets and those constantly trying to get teachers’ approval pretty revolting. Nothing disgusted me more than a brown-noser, and if they were also the type to always speak up, act like a know-it-all, and throw a fit if they got anything less than an A+, my dislike would’ve been through the roof.

I mean, I was never the type to tell someone off if they hadn’t done anything to me personally, but I remember this girl who got really upset because she always got top marks and took her grades so seriously (as if they actually mattered in the real world), but she came second in Literature because she was absolutely awful at interpreting and analysing texts. She was great at memorising but had the imagination of a rock. And she threw an actual tantrum over it, like, girl, you can’t be good at everything, relax. Or this university classmate who got mad because another girl,not her, received the highest distinction in a course. And that girl was supposed to be her friend, like ??? Honestly, people like that should be sent straight to the stake.

I never took my studies too seriously because I saw them as a means to get a degree and a job. The things that have truly interested me, I’ve studied on my own, and what’s been most fulfilling and educational for me has been travelling, working crappy jobs, and meeting loads of people. In the end, your grades don’t mean much because they guarantee nothing in life.

That said, I’d absolutely hate having a student like Hermione in my class. Imagine being a teacher trying to check whether your students are doing their homework, understanding the lesson, or simply trying to encourage them to speak up and express themselves because that’s a crucial part of their cognitive development — but you’ve always got that one kid cutting them off, correcting them, answering when nobody asked, or interrupting your interaction with other students just to show off.

I’m sorry, but if I were Snape, I wouldn’t be able to stand her either, because she’s actively sabotaging your work with the other students. It’s all me me me me, and a classroom isn’t just about you; it’s about everyone learning. Honestly, I would’ve really struggled not to tell her to shut the hell up at some point.

I also don’t think she’s brilliant. She’s tenacious, disciplined, and clever. She’s good at studying, memorising, practising, and she’s diligent — and these are very good and valid qualities. But brilliance comes from natural talent developed through practice, and she’s not naturally talented — she just works very hard.

[inu-jiru]

HB Episode Thoughts...

Since I’ve made a few posts about Helluva Boss now, I figure I’d get my thoughts out now that I’ve seen the episode. Sorry if I echo points others have made, I’ve skimmed through the critical blogs after watching the episode to see if they caught things my goofy ass might’ve missed lol

When I initially watched the episode, I was kinda impressed because it wasn’t a pile of shit like Seeing Stars or The Circus, at least at first. I admit, I’m biased because I like Moxxie as a character, so I might be softer on this episode than I should, but make no mistake, this episode is goofy with a capital G.

First of all, and I know this is my fault for speculating because I give Vivzie way too much credit when it comes to episode plots, but I really thought there was going to be some kind of solo adventure with Moxxie and Chaz and it would be a more high stakes thing than “Hey Moxxie we’re gonna force you to marry someone even though ur married so you can inherit his money that we didn’t check to see if he actually had” (real trusting mafia btw smh). But again, that’s my fault, fool me once shame on you and all that shit.

Second, I’ve read Adam’s little Tweet about Moxxie’s MOM being from Wrath instead of Moxxie himself which is like, sure, whatever, but I just love how this has become a trend for the crew to have to write cliffnotes to make up for their fuck ups lol, like before the reveal of Crim’s mansion I was thinking, “Oh so maybe they just have a business in Greed right” but again that’s my fault for thinking too hard (and I didn’t watch the con videos entirely cuz I wanted to be surprised)

Third, one thing that I found odd was Blitzo’s casual nature about everything, like I know he’s just forgotten everything from the previous episodes but surely if he cares about Moxxie like he claims to, he’d be on the immediate offense like Millie, he’s got no qualms about taking people out so the episode could’ve been over just like that. AND SPEAKING OF-

Four, Millie being OP like that ruined any tension for me smh my head like girlpower gaslight gatekeep whatever but they could’ve killed the whole mob and left honestly, and yeah, it’s goofy that Millie can do all that but get taken down by a glass bottle. I bet some goofy bitch on Twitter is gonna say “Oh well time passed so she had more time to train” shut the fuck up and get out of my face with that shit

Fifth, this is probably goofy of me because I know animation takes a while and Vivzie kept replacing/overworking animators but part of me gets a vibe that Chaz was made purely to spite anyone who thinks Angel Dust and Stolas are too sexual. Then again, that would imply Vivzie doesn’t find that shit the funniest shit since sliced bread so probably not. He was so fucking annoying too, and his plot made no fucking sense because all someone needed to do was look in his fucking trunk and they’d see he was full of shit. Goofy.

Sixth, Crim, what the fuck was that plan? So like, is he low on money? Is that why ne needs Chaz to be married in? You know you could just make him an associate right? And on the topic of mob shit, why is Crim a mob leader and not, idk, in charge of a crew that answers to higher powers? I mean MAYBE that’s the case because of Mammon, but again, I shouldn’t really try to speculate because some completely out of left field shit might happen again. Is Crim Moxxie’s only blood family as well, like where the fuck are the other imps? Why is it only a dad and his kid (and MAYBE a mom) for all these families? I know it’s not important to the episode but there’s a reason why people say the show feels empty because there’s no one but the main cast and the antagonists.

Seventh, uh, idk, the animation was decent. I’ve seen talk about directing and camera work and Idk shit about that but I do know that episode 2 looked wonky as hell and this episode is an improvement, nothing too special except for that camera angle with Moxxie

Eight omg why couldn’t this episode’s ending be swapped with HMF? Why could Millie not take out the threat at her home and Moxxie not take out the threat at his??? Idk

Okay, I think that’s about it because I’ll be here all night, I’m done bi bi

[chevelleneech]

Made the mistake of checking the comments of his video and it's all a mess. I'm also confused by him cause he likes a bunch of contradicting comments so I'm not sure what his opinions even are. He'll like a comment from a taekooker saying Taehyung and Jungkook are the closest and Jungkook and Jimin never spend time together and that Jungkook was very angry because he was forced to do this show. Then he'll also like a comment from a jikooker saying the exact opposite. So like, which version does he even believe in? Also I don't really agree with his decision to just let anyone say anything because 'everybody is allowed to have their own opinion' when those opinions are clearly heavily biased and straight up lies that portray the members and their relationships very negatively. I don't think he should just let those people spew their nonsense cause it just makes his comment section look completely unhinged and everyone is just fighting each other. And while I understand he doesn't really know the members very well I feel like you don't even really need to know anything when a lot of the comments are obviously complete nonsense and clearly biased. Like, imagine I get into a new group I know nothing about and I see a fan say guy #1 has a very special romantic and sexual relationship with guy #2 that's more important than anything else in the world. That these two guys don't even care about the other members of the group and only love each other. That they're dating but being forced by their company to hide and that a third evil member is part of this cruel plan. That this big capitalist company in a homophobic country for some unknown reason decided to have guy #1 and evil guy be in a fake gay relationship and every single interaction they've ever had is scripted fanservice. If I read all of this, regardless of how much I know these three guys, I'm just gonna assume this is all nonsense and this fan is cleary a crazy shipper that I should immediately block. Like, I swear is not that difficult to realize this stuff.

I get where you’re coming from, but you can’t say you’d do that without knowing anything, because something sounding like nonsense doesn’t mean it actually is.

Frankie has no idea what goes on and has been going on in this fandom, and is trying to tread water to not come across as judgmental or rude. It sucks that he’s shoving toxic fans and regular shippers into the same category, but what else is he supposed to do? Especially since a toxic fan can just as easily leave a “sane” sounding comment.

So my assumption is that he’s liking things to read later on, and is commenting on stuff to try and make it clear he’s not picking sides. At least from what I saw. We know there’s more to it than that, but trying to figure out his opinion when he has zero unbiased information to go off, is like asking a baby to solve a math equation. You know he doesn’t have any answers, so why expect one?

As I said before, the only thing we can hope for is he continues to do his own research. All he has to do is watch official content and not just what people recommend to him, and stop looking at his comments altogether for a bit. Or pre-record. That’s what I would do in this specific situation.

If I know I want to keep reacting, I’d go look stuff up myself concerning this issue, and try to read up at least a little bit. He’s old enough to know how to Google answers he wants, but at the same time I can see how that’d be intimidating, since he doesn’t know exactly what to look for.

Again though, I don’t think expecting better reactions out of him regarding the comments he’s getting is realistic. For all he knows right now, Tkk are closer and they are being mistreated. We know that’s not true, but how do you explain that to someone who was just harassed by a bunch of fans for saying the show he has no context on, is scripted and made Tae seem worse than he is? Particularly now that he’s just watched an introduction guide that both sides have been wanting him to watch, that shows Tae in a totally different light?

He doesn’t know the difference between Jikookers and Tkkrs, and fans who supposedly don’t ship don’t give enough of a fuck to take a stance against how toxic Tkkrs actually are. No one wants to be associated with shipping Jikook, because Tkkrs are a much more vocal and popular portion of the fandom. So many who do believe in defending Jikook just as friends, stay hush, because Tkkrs will attack them. It’s a no win situation that Frankie has to figure out on his own.

And once again, I am not optimistic it will get that far. He’s in his comment section begging people to relax and just block others and enjoy his videos, but we know that’s not going to squash the drama. shippers who fight back and forth like this do so for as long as they have the space to, and that space is Frankie’s comment section. He’s going to get tired of blocking people and deleting comments sooner than later, and I can’t say I’d blame him. He’s also going to get continue having his channel reported by Tkkrs so long as he stays neutral or even mildly favorable toward Jimin and Jimin’s bond with Jungkook. So I don’t see him risking his channel for BTS, when all he’s getting is annoying fans who can’t stand people having their own opinions, even if it was a slightly misjudged one.

[perfectlyvalid49]

hey, thanks so much for adding that "check your sources" thing to the post criticising israel! I'm kinda terrified of how quickly people are just pouncing on the opportunity to spread misinfo (I mean every globally-discussed event seems to be surrounded by that nowadays...). I won't lie, I'm also running out of energy to fact-check because there's just so much conflicting info out there, but when people don't even bother before spreading bold statements from openly biased sources to hundreds and thousands... anyways, point being, I appreciate your efforts and I really liked your post, thanks for doing your best!

You’re welcome! I honestly believe that misinformation/disinformation is an existential threat to democracy. I wish more people were more careful about the information they spread. I’m glad someone out there appreciates whatever small addition to the conversation I can make.

But I gotta admit that my initial reaction to this was which post? A while ago I pushed back against someone uncritically posting criticism of Israel from Al Jazeera, and they blocked me, and I took it personally. So I kinda went on a tear for a few days where I posted that sort of thing a lot.

As for running out of energy to fact check – me too! I’ll admit that I don’t fact check everything; that feels like an impossible task. But for anyone who cares, I’ll go into what sorts of things I think about and what are more likely to make me fact check what I’m seeing. Media literacy 101, let’s go!

So the very first question you need to ask yourself is, “does the reporting organization have known biases, and how does that interact with the topic reported?” The easy example in the US is that everyone knows that Fox has a right wing bias, and MSNBC skews left. When in doubt, there’s a handy chart ( https://adfontesmedia.com/interactive-media-bias-chart/ ). But other biases can come into play as well. ABC is owned by Disney, so for reporting on Disney, I fact check anything that is coming from ABC. Al Jazeera has an antisemitic bias, so for reporting that involves Israel, I fact check anything coming from Al Jazeera. But either of those sources are valid for something apolitical, like the local weather forecast.

The next thing you need to look out for is, “how is this being reported?/Is the headline trying to make me feel something?” It’s one thing if an article is clearly marked as an opinion piece, but then it’s just that – opinion. If a newspaper is publishing something as not an opinion piece, then you need to see if the author is presenting facts, or presenting an opinion disguised as facts. Very frequently you can tell from the headline. For example, “Reported Death Toll in Gaza Rises to 15,000” is factual, and a good indicator that the article is trustworthy, whereas “IDF murders another 500 civilians; Death Toll Now at 15,000” reports the same number but with a clear bias (use of the word murder, deaths listed as civilian, uncritically accepting Hamas’s numbers even though we have evidence that they lie about these things, trying to evoke outrage). This doesn’t mean that the article can’t contain true facts! But it does mean it’s a good candidate for double checking against other sources.

Another thing to watch out for is, “is this trying to get me to do or not do something? If so, who benefits?” Is the article trying to convince you that it’s stupid to fight climate change? Either because it’s already hopeless or because it isn’t real – either way you should be suspicious. Who benefits? Probably big companies who don’t want to change how they’re run to lessen the impact on the environment. Or when you start seeing posts about how voting for democrats is pointless because they’re not doing enough – who benefits? People who want to see republicans in power instead. This isn’t necessarily cause for a fact check, but it’s still an important part of media literacy to be able to recognize this tactic and ask yourself this question.

Finally, ask yourself, “is the article telling me something I want to hear/am inclined to agree with?” We all have biases, and a lot of news articles play into that. And it’s very likely that you’ll fact check something you don’t want to believe anyway – because you don’t want to believe it, so of course you’ll look for something to prove it wrong. But things that you want to believe are the things you need to be the most cautious of, because they can still be false, but you’re more likely to pass them on uncritically. I actually sort of did this myself a few weeks ago – I posted an article about JVP sucking. And they do! But I could have picked a better article to post, because the one I selected was not super well written, and it had busted links. I should have double checked, but it was saying something I already agreed with, so I didn’t read the whole thing before sharing. (No one is perfect, I will try to do better).

And while this feels super relevant to the i/p conflict (and it is!), really, it’s applicable to just about everything. There’s an election in just under a year, and this will be very relevant to that too. I know there are news aggregates that will do some of the bias checking for you, but really the ability to think critically about a source of information is a really, really important skill. Practicing it for yourself is the best way to develop it.

[thecpdiary]

Autism: Changing the Narrative

Autism and mental illness are very personal. Many people have been at the forefront of being misunderstood and hurt for most of their lives. Autistic challenges lead to stereotypes, making life harder for those already struggling. It is important to see things differently – and to show more kindness to those dealing with mental challenges.

"Professor Peter Mitchell, Head of the School of Social Sciences at the University of Bradford, discussed the concept of the double empathy problem during World Autism Acceptance Week. He explained: The double empathy problem highlights that while autistic individuals may find it challenging to understand others, society also struggles to understand them. Recent findings revealed that when observers watched a video of someone and they were asked their impressions, they were more likely to respond negatively if the person in the video was autistic, even without being explicitly informed of their autism. In essence, autistic individuals are often misunderstood, which in turn affects their mental health." (Source: bradfordacuk)

Autism and Being Misunderstood

I continue to write about Autism because it's a part of who I am and an important part of my life. Like many who also write about their experiences with autism, I have also spent a lifetime being misunderstood because I deal with mental health challenges. We're seen as awkward, stubborn, but we're not awkward or stubborn for awkward and stubborn stake. We have autism. We see the world differently. Autism is not a disease; it’s a different way of thinking and experiencing the world. People with autism have a range of abilities, but also have numerous challenges.

The media may often perpetuate stigma, by using exaggerated, inaccurate depictions of individuals with mental illness. It may overlook the barriers we face, like the pressure to fit into a world that doesn’t value our differences. (Source: https://pmcncbinlmnihgov)

Disability, Mental Illness and Stigma

Both disability and mental illness are surrounded by stigma. With any mental or emotional challenge when others don't know or can't understand how you think, you are judged. Its stereotype, makes it harder for those struggling to speak up and get the support they need. Autism is just one aspect of mental illness, but with the right help, you can manage to live successful lives. Misunderstanding around mental illness, can leave those dealing with it, feeling isolated and alone.

Why Patience and Empathy Matter

Patience is important. Whether it’s a teacher making adjustments, a parent helping their child, or a friend listening, patience makes a big difference. Empathy is just as important. It means trying to see the world through another person's eyes and offering support. Empathy isn’t about feeling sorry for someone – it’s about valuing their experiences – it's about taking time to listen, to understand, to form a connection and to break down social barriers.

Changing the Story

To change how any mental illness is seen, society needs to be accepting of difference, to let people live their lives, and not to stand in judgment. Society as a whole needs to help those with autism, in fact with any mental health challenge, to help break down stereotypes – and to build understanding, in a world that chooses to misunderstand.

Conclusion: Moving forward

Building a world that values neurodiversity and supports mental health takes effort. It means questioning our biases, advocating for better resources, and treating everyone how others would want to be treated themselves. Most importantly, it means seeing autism and mental illness as a natural part of life, not problems to be fixed. By us rejecting harmful stereotypes and embracing inclusion, we may create a society where everyone feels valued and supported.

For more relatable, inspirational and lifestyle blogs, please check out my site https://www.thecpdiary.com

[edenfenixblogs]

No.

Everyone who goes to a pro-Palestine protest doesn’t get to behave as bigoted as they want because Palestinians are suffering, actually.

There is literally no other group that this person’s sign could be about other than Jews. Nobody else’s indigeneity is being questioned besides that of Jews.

If someone came to a protest to bring back hostages and held up a sign saying, “the only place you belong is behind a check point,” everyone would know that sign is derogatory toward Palestinians. And I would say, “Hey. Get the fuck outta here with that bigoted nonsense. This is a protest about Jewish suffering and getting Israeli civilians returned home. You don’t need to harm Palestinian civilians to promote that cause. Supporting the extremely valid cause of getting the hostages released doesn’t make any horrible thing you wish to say about Palestinians ok.”

The reason this protestor is saying that Israelis are indigenous to hell is because they are a majority Jewish population. Her sign is not saying that Palestinians are also indigenous. Her sign is not demanding any sort of political action. Her sign is not helping Palestinians in any way. Her sign is solely attacking Jews for saying that they are indigenous to land that they are, in fact, indigenous to.

Jewish indigeneity does not negate Palestinian indigeneity. Multiple groups can be indigenous to the same place.

The reason you do not see a problem with this sign is because you agree with this sign. And because you agree with this sign, you think that makes the sign acceptable. I’m not entirely sure whether or not you are capable of self reflection, but I’m willing to bet that you think you are. I’m willing to bet that you have heard of the concept of anti-racism, which involves deconstructing unconscious, systemic bias. I am willing to bet that you can at least grasp the general concept that people often have unintentional but harmful biases that harm marginalized groups and that it is important to address these biases.

This may surprise you, but unconscious biases exist in everyone. Not just right wing bigots. Supporting the objectively correct idea that Palestinian civilians should not be bombed does not excuse the racism that occurs there. So, saying that you “don’t see a problem with” something that causes harm to the Jewish community doesn’t mean that it doesn’t cause harm to the Jewish community. It means you have a blind spot caused by systemic antisemitism. If you’re not a bigot, you should want to address that and grow as a person.

But since your instinct was to come on to a post about Jewish suffering in order to compound that suffering, gaslight me, and engage in even more antisemitic behaviors, I’m also willing to bet that you do not believe that anti-racist work applies to you or antisemitism in general. You believe that you are unquestionably morally correct and I am unquestionably morally wrong and this makes anything you say to me, no matter how awful, justified.

I do not, in fact, sound like a Nazi. Because (first of all) I am a Jewish person begging people to not be antisemitic. That’s kind of the most not-Nazi thing a person can do. Also, I do not sound like a Nazi, because I am not calling for anyone else to suffer. I am not justifying Palestinian suffering. I am not saying that Palestinians deserve to suffer in order to promote my political ideals.

I am saying that solving Palestinian suffering is not contingent upon causing Jewish suffering.

But…you know this already. You’re just trying to cast me as a villain because you are enjoying how this conflict is (temporarily) allowing you to be antisemitic while pretending you actually care about Palestinians. You’re thrilled to have a chance to make Jewish people feel terrible and then being able to shout “nuh uh, you!” at any Jew who points this out.

But this conflict will end. Maybe not for six months. Maybe a year. There will be a ceasefire, and it will end. And when it’s over, I’ll be secure in the knowledge that I have done nothing to call for harm to anyone. And you will have to live with the antisemitic dreck you have spewed here and, likely, elsewhere. You will have to live with the fact that you think bigotry is ok as long as it’s directed at the “right” people. You will have to live with the fact that, during a 400% increase in antisemitism that is well documented, you chose to lend your voice toward making life worse for Jews. That’s not activism. That’s not helping Palestine. That’s just hurting Jews.

The binary isn’t “support Israel” or “support Palestine.” The binary is “choose peace” or “choose conflict.” You cannot choose peace if you refuse to acknowledge the suffering this whole conflict has on Jews, Arabs, Palestinians, Muslims, and Israelis. You cannot choose peace if you think Jewish or Israeli suffering is ok.

Nobody’s suffering is OK. That’s the whole point.

Signed on to Twitter today in the first time in over a month

I’m so tired.

When we say there are antisemites at these marches and we don’t feel physically safe attending them believe us instead of saying that YOURE not antisemitic. Fine. Don’t be antisemitic. Just stop people who ARE.

[ms-demeanor]

Since you're on the anti-vax debunking train, have you looking into "Dr." Pam Popper at all? I'm trying to do research on her bc her rhetoric has totally twisted the perceptions of someone I love, but I'm not finding much. I can't even tell if she's an actual doctor or not, just that she calls herself one.

JUST FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES I’m going to show y’all the basic way I do fact checking on things like this

Step One: who is this person and what are their claims

This is Pam Popper, she is claiming to be a naturopath and a doctor. This interview claims that she is a PhD and an ND.

Step Two: Investigating those claims

ND, or Naturopathic Doctor, is not a protected term the same way that MD is a protected term in most places.

By searching “Requirements for Naturopathic doctors in Ohio” I found that the state of Ohio, where Pam Popper practices, does not license naturopaths.

There is a voluntary professional organization of naturopaths in Ohio that requires members to have a 4-year degree and to pass state medical exams. It has 38 members listed and Pam Popper is not one of them.

Well, that’s that for Naturopath. So far as her state’s professional organization is concerned, she isn’t one, and the state doesn’t license them.

So what about PhD? You can have a PhD in lots of things, we call Dr. Phil “Doctor” for his PhD in English, it’s a gimme - let’s find out what’s up with Dr. Popper’s PhD.

It’s surprisingly hard to find out what’s up with her from the expected sources. Most people with PhDs won’t shut up about where they got them from (with good reason! Shit’s hard!) and will ABSOLUTELY put the name of the institution that granted their degree in their about page. Hell, most doctors display their diplomas in their offices. It’s totally standard doctor flex.

But everywhere you read about her she REALLY wants you to know that she taught part of an online certification course (you do not have to be a professor, trained educator, or expert of any kind to be hired to teach a certification course) and she was totally in Forks over Knives you guys.

So okay, you search “Pam Popper education” and you get a ton of results that are copy/pastes of her bio from her website, but one is SLIGHTLY different and says that she "[got] a Master’s degree and PhD in nutrition in her late 30’s.” That’s good to know! Very good to know! According to IMDB (and you can trust that, because she REALLY wants you to know she was in Forks over Knives) Popper was born in 1956, which means she’s 65. Okay. So, let’s *generously* assume that late thirties means 40, so she got her degree in 1996. Keep that number in mind.

Duck Duck Go isn’t turning up a TON of what I’m looking for, so I switch over to google and google sucks but it DOES make good suggestions sometimes, because that’s how I find this:

A 2001 article in which Popper is interviewed about the regulations impacting health food stores where she told the journalist where she got her degree.

Okay, so what’s the Clayton College of Natural Health?

Well, first of all, it’s shut down. So that’s a good sign. Still got that number 1996 in your head?

It’s important. It’s important because there’s a pretty significant difference between a correspondence school and online learning. Correspondence schools may have you turn in papers, they may have you take tests, they may have you make a phone call to the professor, but they were not proctored and there was essentially no way to guarantee that the student turning in the course work was the student doing the course work. Which is COMPLETELY aside from the fact that many correspondence schools granted degrees for just returning a completed worksheet.

Okay, so with that in mind, here’s what Clayton College offered for their online classes in 2001:

And here’s what the school’s website looked like in 1997:

And just for further shits and giggles here’s the reading list for the course on pediatric nutrition:

What is the ABSOLUTE LATEST that Dr. Popper could have gotten her degree from this institution if she got it in her late thirties? 1996. Credible, reliable distance education was not really available in the mid nineties. Dr. Popper paid for a diploma from a notorious quack diploma mill that was shut down by the state of Alabama because it couldn’t pass muster for accreditation even in the 2010s. The “school’s” writing lab was a recommendation to buy Strunk & White and a link to the writing labs for two real schools.

And now that I’ve shown THAT here are two sources that the alt-med community will claim are biased against them: A huffpo writeup of why the school shut down and the quackwatch profile of CCNH.

The Wikipedia page on it is pretty succinct:

The Clayton College of Natural Health is a giant piece of shit and it’s no wonder Popper doesn’t want to show you her diploma, she has NONE of the qualifications that you should expect from a doctor.

Step Three: Analysis and Synthesis

I am a skeptical cynic, so this is enough information for me. Popper’s first claim about herself is that she’s a Doctor and a Naturopath. Neither of those things are true, so there’s a pretty decent chance that the rest of the things she claims aren’t true either. She used to discuss going to an unaccredited quack school but has stopped talking about it since the school got shut down, and she’s not part of the professional organization for her profession in her state. She doesn’t have any kind of medical background and is a tremendously unreliable source for medical information.

If I were speaking to someone who is more into alt-med and woo stuff I would point out that Ohio DOES have an organization of practicing naturopaths that Popper is unqualified to join and she received her diploma from a ‘school’ that was actively adversarial to the idea of requiring board certification for naturopaths and that she now runs a very similar bullshit correspondence school.

Look at what great things you can learn in just eight weeks for seven hundred dollars plus registration fees plus application fees plus certification fees:

haha, oh shit dudes, I clicked to view the “application” to Pam Popper’s school and got this:

This is clearly an up-to-date, on-the-level institution. Also it costs a hundred dollars to submit an application and they want you to do it by mail.

Wait, I’m supposed to be analyzing and synthesizing here.

My analysis: Popper is full of shit

What you should take away from this conversation: People who don’t want to tell you where they got their degrees or what their degrees are in are extremely suspicious; people who tell you that they got their degrees at Clayton College of Natural Health don’t have real degrees; most people don’t understand the difference between naturopath (unprotected term in many places that may or may not require passing boards), osteopath (DO; someone who passes boards and is a doctor), MD (someone who passes boards and is a doctor), nutritionist (unprotected term, in many places anyone can claim to be a nutritionist with no qualifications), and dietician (protected term, this person had to get a degree in food) and we as a society don’t do a good job of explaining that.

[writingwithcolor]

What Does Our "Motivations” PSA Mean?

@luminalalumini said:

I've been on your blog a lot and it has a lot of really insightful information, but I notice a theme with some of your answers where you ask the writer reaching out what their 'motivation for making a character a certain [race/religion/ethnicity/nationality] is' and it's discouraging to see, because it seems like you're automatically assigning the writer some sort of ulterior motive that must be sniffed out and identified before the writer can get any tips or guidance for their question. Can't the 'motive' simply be having/wanting to have diversity in one's work? Must there be an 'ulterior motive'? I can understand that there's a lot of stigma and stereotypes and bad influence that might lead to someone trynna add marginalized groups into their stories for wrong reasons, but people that have those bad intentions certainly won't be asking for advice on how to write good representation in the first place. Idk its just been something that seemed really discouraging to me to reach out myself, knowing i'll automatically be assigned ulterior motives that i don't have and will probably have to justify why i want to add diversity to my story as if i'm comitting some sort of crime. I don't expect you guys to change your blog or respond to this or even care all that much, I'm probably just ranting into a void. I'm just curious if theres any reason to this that I haven't realized exists I suppose. I don't want y'all to take this the wrong way because I do actually love and enjoy your blog's advice in spite of my dumb griping. Cheers :))

We assume this is in reference to the following PSA:

PSA to all of our users - Motivation Matters: This lack of clarity w/r to intent has been a general issue with many recent questions. Please remember that if you don’t explain your motivations and what you intend to communicate to your audience with your plot choices, character attributes, world-building etc., we cannot effectively advise you beyond the information you provide. We Are Not Mind Readers. If, when drafting these questions, you realize you can’t explain your motivations, that is likely a hint that you need to think more on the rationales for your narrative decisions. My recommendation is to read our archives and articles on similar topics for inspiration while you think. I will be attaching this PSA to all asks with similar issues until the volume of such questions declines. 

We have answered this in three parts.

1. Of Paved Roads and Good Intentions

Allow me to give you a personal story, in solidarity towards your feelings:

When I began writing in South Asia as an outsider, specifically in the Kashmir and Lahore areas, I was doing it out of respect for the cultures I had grown up around. I did kathak dance, I grew up on immigrant-cooked North Indian food, my babysitters were Indian. I loved Mughal society, and every detail of learning about it just made me want more. The minute you told me fantasy could be outside of Europe, I hopped into the Mughal world with two feet. I was 13. I am now 28.

And had you asked me, as a teenager, what my motives were in giving my characters’ love interests blue or green eyes, one of them blond hair, my MC having red-tinted brown hair that was very emphasized, and a whole bunch of paler skinned people, I would have told you my motives were “to represent the diversity of the region.” 

I’m sure readers of the blog will spot the really, really toxic and colourist tropes present in my choices. If you’re new here, then the summary is: giving brown people “unique” coloured eyes and hair that lines up with Eurocentric beauty standards is an orientalist trope that needs to be interrogated in your writing. And favouring pale skinned people is colourist, full stop.

Did that make me a bad person with super sneaky ulterior motives who wanted to write bad representation? No.

It made me an ignorant kid from the mostly-white suburbs who grew up with media that said brown people had to “look unique” (read: look as European as possible) to be considered valuable.

And this is where it is important to remember that motives can be pure as you want, but you were still taught all of the terrible stuff that is present in society. Which means you’re going to perpetuate it unless you stop and actually question what is under your conscious motive, and work to unlearn it. Work that will never be complete.

I know it sounds scary and judgemental (and it’s one of the reasons we allow people to ask to be anonymous, for people who are afraid). Honestly, I would’ve reacted much the same as a younger writer, had you told me I was perpetuating bad things. I was trying to do good and my motives were pure, after all! But after a few years, I realized that I had fallen short, and I had a lot more to learn in order for my motives to match my impact. Part of our job at WWC is to attempt to close that gap.

We aren’t giving judgement, when we ask questions about why you want to do certain things. We are asking you to look at the structural underpinnings of your mind and question why those traits felt natural together, and, more specifically, why those traits felt natural to give to a protagonist or other major character.

I still have blond, blue-eyed characters with sandy coloured skin. I still have green-eyed characters. Because teenage me was right, that is part of the region. But by interrogating my motive, I was able to devalue those traits within the narrative, and I stopped making those traits shorthand for “this is the person you should root for.” 

It opened up room for me to be messier with my characters of colour, even the ones who my teenage self would have deemed “extra special.” Because the European-associated traits (pale hair, not-brown-eyes) stopped being special. After years of questioning, they started lining up with my motive of just being part of the diversity of the region.

Motive is important, both in the conscious and the subconscious. It’s not a judgement and it’s not assumed to be evil. It’s simply assumed to be unquestioned, so we ask that you question it and really examine your own biases.

~Mod Lesya

2. Motivations Aren't Always "Ulterior"

You can have a positive motivation or a neutral one or a negative one. Just wanting to have diversity only means your characters aren't all white and straight and cis and able-bodied -- it doesn't explain why you decided to make this specific character specifically bi and specifically Jewish (it me). Yes, sometimes it might be completely random! But it also might be "well, my crush is Costa Rican, so I gave the love interest the same background", or "I set it in X City where the predominant marginalized ethnicity is Y, so they are Y". Neither of these count as ulterior motives. But let's say for a second that you did accidentally catch yourself doing an "ulterior." Isn't that the point of the blog, to help you find those spots and clean them up?

Try thinking of it as “finding things that need adjusting” rather than “things that are bad” and it might get less scary to realize that we all do them, subconsciously. Representation that could use some work is often the product of subconscious bias, not deliberate misrepresentation, so there's every possibility that someone who wants to improve and do better didn't do it perfectly the first time. 

--Shira

3. Dress-Making as a Metaphor

I want to echo Lesya’s sentiments here but also provide a more logistical perspective. If you check the rubber stamp guide here and the “Motivation matters” PSA above, you’ll notice that concerns with respect to asker motivation are for the purposes of providing the most relevant answer possible.

It is a lot like if someone walks into a dressmaker’s shop and asks for a blue dress/ suit (Back when getting custom-made clothes was more of a thing) . The seamstress/ tailor is likely to ask a wide variety of questions:

What material do you want the outfit to be made of?

Where do you plan to wear it?

What do you want to highlight?

How do you want to feel when you wear it?

Let’s say our theoretical customer is in England during the 1920s. A tartan walking dress/ flannel suit for the winter is not the same as a periwinkle, beaded, organza ensemble/ navy pinstripe for formal dress in the summer. When we ask for motivations, we are often asking for exactly that: the specific reasons for your inquiry so we may pinpoint the most pertinent information.

The consistent problem for many of the askers who receive the PSA is they haven’t even done the level of research necessary to know what they want to ask of us. It would be like if our English customer in the 1920s responded, “IDK, some kind of blue thing.” Even worse,  WWC doesn’t have the luxury of the back-and-forth between a dressmaker and their clientele. If our asker doesn’t communicate all the information they need in mind at the time of submission, we can only say, “Well, I’m not sure if this is right, but here’s something. I hope it works, but if you had told us more, we could have done a more thorough job.”

Answering questions without context is hard, and asking for motivations, by which I mean the narratives, themes, character arcs and other literary devices that you are looking to incorporate, is the best way for us to help you, while also helping you to determine if your understanding of the problem will benefit from outside input. Because these asks are published with the goal of helping individuals with similar questions, the PSA also serves to prompt other users.

I note that asking questions is a skill, and we all start by asking the most basic questions (Not stupid questions, because to quote a dear professor, “There are no stupid questions.”). Unfortunately, WWC is not suited for the most basic questions. To this effect, we have a very helpful FAQ and archive as a starting point. Once you have used our website to answer the more basic questions, you are more ready to approach writing with diversity and decide when we can actually be of service. This is why we are so adamant that people read the FAQ. Yes, it helps us, but it also is there to save you time and spare you the ambiguity of not even knowing where to start.

The anxiety in your ask conveys to me a fear of being judged for asking questions. That fear is not something we can help you with, other than to wholeheartedly reassure you that we do not spend our unpaid, free time answering these questions in order to assume motives we can’t confirm or sit in judgment of our users who, as you say, are just trying to do better.

Yes, I am often frustrated when an asker’s question makes it clear they haven’t read the FAQ or archives. I’ve also been upset when uncivil commenters have indicated that my efforts and contributions are not worth their consideration. However, even the most tactless question has never made me think, “Ooh this person is such a naughty racist. Let me laugh at them for being a naughty racist. Let me shame them for being a naughty racist. Mwahaha.”

What kind of sad person has time for that?*

Racism is structural. It takes time to unlearn, especially if you’re in an environment that doesn’t facilitate that process to begin with. Our first priority is to help while also preserving our own boundaries and well-being. Though I am well aware of the levels of toxic gas-lighting and virtue signaling that can be found in various corners of online writing communities in the name of “progressivism*”, WWC is not that kind of space. This space is for discussions held in good faith: for us to understand each other better, rather than for one of us to “win” and another to “lose.”

Just as we have good faith that you are doing your best, we ask that you have faith that we are trying to do our best by you and the BIPOC communities we represent.

- Marika.

*If you are in any writing or social media circles that feed these anxieties or demonstrate these behaviors, I advise you to curtail your time with them and focus on your own growth. You will find, over time, that it is easier to think clearly when you are worrying less about trying to appease people who set the bar of approval so high just for the enjoyment of watching you jump. “Internet hygiene”, as I like to call it, begins with you and the boundaries you set with those you interact with online.

[rubistella]

Important Disclaimer:

Just a friendly reminder that mun ≠ muse. The way I write Astarion doesn’t reflect my personal beliefs or values. Astarion can be cruel, manipulative, toxic, or downright awful, with just enough humanity to keep people around. His trauma and the slow process of overcoming it don’t necessarily make him a better person.

If you see Astarion differently, I respect that. Personally, I’m not on board with the constant romanticization of trauma you see in media and literature, or the idea that surviving and overcoming your past automatically makes you a better person. Sometimes it does, but let’s be honest, it’s not always the case. This isn’t a dig at anyone else’s opinions, so let’s keep things mature.

And finally, it’s perfectly fine to enjoy different portrayals of the same character, no matter how different they may be. After all, roleplay is meant to be fun!

Thanks for reading. Here's your biscuit 🍪🥛

General

If you're part of the 'I can fix him' squad, that's totally fine. I respect it, but I respectfully disagree. Astarion is not a good person (ref.), and I’m not about to water him down just because he occasionally shows a vulnerable side or a sliver of honesty. (Read: He’s a bit of a gremlin and sometimes needs to be metaphorically leashed.)

Astarion can be influenced by those around him, for better or worse, but that doesn’t change his core. So please, don’t expect a sudden personality transplant. However, if it is natural for your character to expect as much, that's perfectly fine IC.

While Astarion is biased toward those he holds dear (see friended/romanced), he’s also a first-class enabler of others' worst instincts and might very well be the naughty little devil whispering in your muse’s ear, regardless of their moral compass. (Again, he’s a naughty pale elf, mate. I don’t know what to tell you.)

Astarion is highly manipulative and plays dirty. He’ll often tug at the heartstrings, even if it means showing a more vulnerable side or digging up trauma, to get what he wants. (And if he does reveal this side to your character, regardless of his motives, it suggests he ‘trusts’ them... at least enough to make use of that trust.)

Just because he’s a morally questionable individual doesn’t mean he’s above doing a good deed now and then. But don’t get it twisted; he’s not doing it out of the goodness of his heart. He’s quite selfish after all. If friended/romanced, he’ll also display care for those he’s close to, in his own peculiar way.

Astarion is a crook and a liar, even to those he cares about. He won’t always speak his mind and might agree to things he doesn’t want, only to regret it later and blame others for 'talking him into it'. There will be instances he’s genuinely a victim, but other times, not so much.

Astarion has his own personal agenda and tends to follow through with it regardless of what someone else may think, sometimes going so far as to not tell people what he's up to, or straight up lying if he finds it convenient.

[more: tba]

Friended / Romanced

(Friended/Romanced) While Astarion remains largely indifferent to those he doesn’t know (unless their suffering becomes a nuisance to his own agenda), he does possess a certain fondness for those he holds dear. Thus, what might amuse him when it befalls others is far less entertaining when it affects his beloved. (ref timestamp 1:06~)

(Friended/Romanced) Should your character be close to Astarion and possess a more virtuous nature, he might discreetly carry out some of his more dubious plans behind their back, if only to avoid a confrontation or a reprimand. Of course, the possibility of your character discovering his actions and confronting him remains an open prospect for exploration.

(Romanced) Astarion is fiercely protective of those he cherishes and won’t hesitate to speak up if he feels they are being wronged by anyone other than himself, of course.

(Romanced) Astarion is pansexual and, in my portrayal, he tends to lean towards a dominant role, though with a certain flexibility about it.

(Romanced) His stance on polyamory will entirely depend on who they’re dealing with, though he’s not likely to be the one to propose it. That said, "unlikely" doesn’t mean "impossible."

Past & Life

Astarion stands as the sole "survivor" of the Ancunin family, a tragic title bestowed upon him after a brutal massacre. While the Gur were indeed the instigators of said attack, whispers abound that others, nursing their own vendettas against the Ancunin lineage, seized the opportunity to join the slaughter. The mastermind behind it all? None other than Cazador, who saw the elimination of the Ancunins as a strategic boon, both politically and personally. His twisted fascination with Astarion played no small part; starving the young elf of his family was merely the first step in grooming him to become part of Cazador's twisted new "family."

Before his transformation, Astarion made a calculated attempt to seduce Cazador, fully aware of his status as a vampire lord and driven by his own obsessive desire for immortality. His efforts brought him closer to Cazador, hoping to be granted the dark gift. However, Astarion was woefully ignorant of the grim details that the path to becoming a vampire first winds through the harrowing existence of a vampire spawn. Cazador, ever the schemer, exploited Astarion’s naivety to further his own nefarious ends.

Astarion is Cazador's second ever spawn, but his oldest still-living one. The first spawn never made it.

Note: If you roleplay Cazador, you can disregard any HCs that do not mesh well with your own.

click here for other headcanons!

[more: tba]

[sweetestpopcorn]

Why do you think Daemon cheated on Rhaenyra with both Mysaria and Nettles when he loved his niece and she was the mother of his son?

Hi 😃

Sorry it took me so long to answer you, anon, but I'm answering now so XD I guess it's something. I hate myself so much... 🤦‍♀️

Before anything, please, everyone, bear in mind that I am answering this ask according to my view points and to my interpretation of F&B and its characters. As I have said in the past, F&B is written in such a way that people can have a very different read. This is mine.

I think it's important to bear in mind not only the type of man that Daemon was but also the universe he lived in. Noble men having mistresses was not uncommon, in many cases even when they were said to love their wives dearly. Just look at Corlys Velaryon. We are told he loved Rhaenys yet he had a prolonged affair with Marilda of Hull having two children by her, yet no one questioned that he loved his wife, and I too think he did.

Daemon would never love a woman the way that, for instance, his father Prince Baelon did Princess Alyssa, or even as Jaehaerys loved Alysanne. I think he would love a woman in his own way which from what is known of him is in my opinion something similar to a "brownie-point" system, something of the sort of: Is she hot? One point. Does she love me and does what I want? Another point. Was she a virgin (I know it's disturbing, but hey it's Daemon)? Another point. Has she given me children? Point. Were the children boys? Extra points. You get the picture I think 😅

This being said I do believe he "loved" Rhaenyra, but in his own way, because of all the things she was and did for him. He does seem to have a god like complex which she definitely fed, and I do believe he very much liked to be the number one man in her life. Of all the women of his life - Rhea Royce (his one true love lol), Mysaria, Laena Velaryon, maybe Nettles - I don't think anyone quite adored him as much as Rhaenyra did, or was as serious about his love (to the point of it not being very healthy). Reminder that our queen was willing to kill a sixteen year old girl because there was a chance she could have Daemon's son and because he was in love with her (according to Mysaria) 😬 Not your proudest moment was it Rhaebae?

Now, before the Dance there's no record of him being unfaithful to her. In fact, they seemed to have an exceptionally boring marriage since the only events reported about them since they married was that they had two sons, that she had him collect Vaemond's head when he said the "Velaryon" princes were bastards, and that in 129 AC she was pregnant again (snore fest). Rhaenyra was also described, by George himself, as a proud and stubborn woman which definitely isn't very compatible with her turning a blind eye while Daemon collects women and possibly bastards and shames her.

Am I stating for a certainty that during this time he was faithful? Probably not, but he was at least very discrete about it. With how biased F&B is against Rhaenyra (and history books in general) I have no doubt that if he had mistresses we would have been told - as we were during the Dance. Adding to this her "sweet" temperament and how infatuated she was with him, I am convinced that if he had other women, she was kept in the dark.

What changed during the Dance you might ask? Well, at the time she ascended the throne Rhaenyra had suffered a very traumatic miscarriage, had lost three sons (Viserys was presumed dead), and was dealing with all of the sh_t that kept pilling up around her. It doesn't seem likely to me she was in the mood for... well Daemon.

Enter Mysaria, who we are told Rhaenyra knew about and didn’t care. 

If she wasn’t “keeping Daemon entertained” 💑 it did make sense for her to have him have some “fun” 🍆🍑 with Mysaria. Mysaria was older than her, no longer very beautiful, and likely at her age (and given the times they lived in) no longer fertile. Rhaenyra knew there was no danger of Daemon either leaving her for Mysaria, or fathering a bastard on her. As for Daemon, I don’t think he would be the type of man content with holding his wife’s hand in bed and not holding anything else. I believe that in his mind, Rhaenyra was his niece, his wife, mother of his sons, and his queen, but if she wasn’t willing to have him bed her, then he would find someone else to do it. Easy as that.

As for Nettles, to this day I am not sure what the truth was. By this I mean if she was his daughter, or his lover. On the one side given what we are told about their relationship, they do sound very much like lovers to me. Additionally, in “The World of Ice and Fire” where we have the short version of the story, she is ever only presented as his lover and no other hypothesis is raised. Now juxtaposed to this what makes me think she was maybe a bastard daughter of his and not his lover, is the fact that so much doubt is placed upon them being lovers. If it was so straightforward, why is it still so questioned by the sources of F&B?

In any case if they were lovers (I do lean a bit more towards this even though I wish it weren’t true because it just adds another point to Daemon’s darkness) I have two words for you: midlife crisis. What level? Yes.

Reading about their relationship gave me a huge Deja Vu. Allow me to elaborate.

1- Spending the days flying together? Check.💁‍♀️

2- Giving her countless valuable gifts? Check.💁‍♀️

3- Spending all of the time with each other, dining together, amongst other things? Check.💁‍♀️

Is this sounding familiar to anyone? Well, I have no idea, but it did to me. Now I ask, how similar was this to what had happened in 112 AC between him and Rhaenyra? And how likely it would be that Daemon, now almost fifty, older, no longer with his whole life ahead of him, likely no longer having a chick to worship the ground he walked on cof Rhaenyra cof would want to relieve his youth? To be in “love” again? To have a younger girl who loved him? I would argue that very likely and Nettles was the perfect opportunity.

In conclusion (I hate how long my answers are), Daemon “loved” Rhaenyra in his own way, but to a man like him I don’t think that “love” would be an impediment to having a little something something on the side every once in while, especially, if he wasn’t getting it at home.

People are what they are, and no one is magically changed or transformed by love, or by a person. Change, true change, has to come from within because only that kind of change will last. And some people will only ever love us in their own way. 

Moral of the story: Don’t ever think that if someone says they love you and then they do something like cheating that it’s your fault, or that they don’t love you enough. The fault is not with us, it’s with them. Love or lack there of isn’t the issue, people are.

XOXO, Gossip Popcorn 🍿

[tundrainafrica]

Hello! Considering chap 126, I've seen in some analysis posts people saying for Hanji there was something on the other side of if she stop fighting: "I wish we could just live together", but for Levi, there seems to be nothing and that's why he said "what's left if we just run and hide"? Can you please share your version of translation as well as your thoughts?

Hello! Like whatever analysis I do, I just have to point out this will probably be biased towards Levihan but, you can choose to just take the information or you can choose to accept my ‘take’ or my interpretation too. 

It’s up to you. (But for me, I’m going down with this ship.) 

いっそ二人でここで暮らそうか: Which was translated to English as “Why don’t we just live here together, right Levi?” So honestly, it is an accurate translation so there’s really nothing much to think about here. 

Except the adverb いっそ. I actually ended up looking into this adverb a bit because it doesn’t reflect in the English translation. Like you could just take that word out and the whole sentence would still mean the same thing:  “Why don’t we just live here together, right Levi?”

I know there are some translations that translate this as “I would rather we just live here together Levi,” and ‘rather’ can be a rough approximation of  いっそ but I don’t think “I would rather we just live here together Levi” captures the translation either because Hange is actively inviting him to live with her in the forest in the scene up in the actual Japanese translation.

So looking at other examples using いっそ, there are certain elements or emotions in speech which tend to be depicted by such word and I think we could actually look into this word to infer how Hange was feeling at that time when she said it. 

So going into linguistics and word usage: 

Disclaimer: I am not a native Japanese speaker, any research I found here and analysis of the word usage are from other people (actual Japanese people), not mine, and I can leave the links down there if anyone wants to check it out. 

Before this, I was aware that  いっそ is generally used in Japan by people to joke around, or when frustrated to say stuff in the context of: 

“I hate my job. Why don’t I just quit my job and just do some other bullshit which I really wanted to do?”

“Why don’t I just quit school and travel the world?” 

But really, it’s an adverb I didn’t think too much of before cause I wasn’t Levihan trash then

And here’s where it gets a little interesting. I was actually reading through articles about this word and there are actually implications to adding  いっそ when you suggest these outrageous claims that you’re going to ‘quit your job’ or ‘quit school’

「中途半端をやめて、思い切り～する」<--- So the writer puts this as the most accurate meaning to “ いっそ” based on a quick analysis of the evolution of the Japanese term which in English can mean: 

“To stop something half way and to do X to your heart’s content” 

Which Hange’s case means: “To run away from the whole war scenario and just live in the forest to one’s hearts content” Basically the main implication of this is HANGE WANTS TO DO IT. HANGE MIGHT ACTUALLY REALLY WANT TO DO IT. 

Like she really, preferably seriously wants to run away to the forest with Levi. Like I have gone through other translations using  「いっそ 」

何かに迷ったりしているときに「いっそのこと、～しちゃえば」と言われると、少し勇気が出る気がします。

The author ends this with: When someone is lost with how to go about something,  「いっそのこと、～しちゃえば」, it helps them feel braver or at least it hypes them up. 

And I just think that  「いっそ 」 is just an adverb which really helps people look bad at what they would have wanted to do? Or it’s one of those phrases which kinda express those few moments when people are going about the stress of their daily life and the monotony of it and think “What if I just drop all these right now and do what I actually wanted to do?” 

And I honestly really believe there are ‘wishful thinking’ implications here because of the amount of time  「いっそ 」has been translated to mean “I wish...” so another acceptable translation for Hange’s phrase “ いっそ二人でここで暮らそうか” is “I wish we could just live here together.” 

And if you really wanna push the agenda...

Since  「いっそ 」can actually mean “to our hearts content,” you can actually push it to mean “I wish we could live here to our heart’s content Levi” 

But honestly the only point I wanna make here is because people tend to say “HANGE ONLY SAID THAT BECAUSE SHE WAS TIRED” but really after  「いっそ 」? After  いっそ二人で? Which literally means “I wish.... JUST THE BOTH OF US... we could live together. So she puts the  「いっそ 」right before the  二人 (TWO OF US TOGETHER).

So I dunno but if she didn’t actually dream of living cottage core with Levi, there were so many other ways she could have phrased it and there were so many other ways she could have joked around while tired. 

She didn’t have to say “THE TWO OF US LIVE TOGETHER I WISH” Did she? I’m pretty sure if I was tired and alone with some very casual friend I probably would not be declaring my wish to happily live with them too.

Check the Japanese analysis here

Okay, so about this one.このまま、逃げ隠れて、なにが残る

First glance translation: If we just run away and hide like this, what will be left?”

Looking at the English translation: “If we keep running and hiding, what will that get us?” 

So looking back at this,  なにが残る does not necessarily mean “what will that get us?”. It can mean “what will be left if we run away and hide?” So honestly this could also be interpreted as Levi thinking back to their important roles in the war not necessarily how useless or dumb of a wish it is to run away to the forest (which the English translation insinuates).

What he could have been saying here is “Okay, I recognize that you wanna run away in the forest but if you do that, will there really be much left of the world for us to live in?” 

And so looking back at all of this... Did Levi actually reject her here? 

This actually opens up another thought bunny in my head. Were Levi and Hange already aware of their feelings at this point in time?

[florae-scence]

Normal People (2020)

Normal People by Sally Rooney was the first book I attempted to read when the pandemic and lockdown began in 2020. I never finished it. I checked the eBook on my phone and apparently I’d read only 88% of it. I distinctly remember seeing a motivational poster somewhere, about life being too short to read bad books and immediately dropping Normal People. I didn’t like it then. I thought it was too winding; Marianne and Connell’s problems were kind of petty and the story kept circling back on itself. 

It’s now two years later and after countless blows to my self-esteem and world view, I find that I’ve developed a propensity for narratives that are messy and meandering because as it turns out, that’s all that life is. I felt the need to revisit Normal People in series form, to see how the awkwardness of Marianne and Connell’s relationship could be translated on screen, and my god did I love it. It was weird, funny, honest, horny, quiet, thoughtful, mundane, sad, etc., etc. 

It was filled with long, stretches of silence, incoherent ramblings, conversations that were barely conversations, and I appreciate them all so much because they build the complexities of this relationship that would’ve been so easy if the characters knew how to talk to each other. In real life we never know what to say, we don’t understand what we feel, not until after the point. In the beginning of 2020, I knew how to talk  to people, how to message a friend and tell them how I really felt. But now I’ve lived in my head and have been alone for so long, that I feel like anything I say or do is an offense to the world. 

Maybe I’m biased (because of my own intimate relationship with loneliness) but I love love stories that aren’t afraid to embrace the fact that loneliness will always be a part of it. Sometimes it’s a gulf, sometimes it’s a loose thread you can lose track of. In Normal People, it’s debilitating. Marianne and Connell hurt each other because of how lonely they both are. They love each other but it’s not enough. They misunderstand each other so often and just end up having a lot of sex. Yet they’re so important to one another. It’s exquisite and painful to have your life revolve around another person like that. The show makes me miss that heady mix of frustration and joy and yearning that comes from having most of your problems stem from one human being. I just think it’s exhilarating to feel that much all at once. 

The show appeals to me so much because Marianne and Connell display a lot of my insecurities. Connell, with how he feels like he doesn’t belong anywhere, and Marianne because I, too, believe that I am irredeemable and terrible and Not Good™ and undeserving of love (but I secretly want someone to prove me wrong). I couldn’t stop thinking of this Miranda July quote: "Then I realized that we all think we might be terrible people. But we only reveal this before asking someone to love us. It is a kind of undressing.” It’s fitting, especially since the characters are always literally undressed. It sums up the point well, I think, that love always needs some form of vulnerability. Love means the willingness to let someone see all of you, and to wait for them to decide that yes, you are good. Marianne and Connell got there, in the end.

I’m pretty interested in how this compares to the book so I might read it again and actually finish it this time. I think it’s wonderful, the differences between film and books, comparing how they show the nuances of such an ordinary relationship and amplify them to be so much more, so that whoever gets to read or watch feels this universal tug of like yeah, I know what you mean. I love being seen by the art I consume, and I know I’ll be watching this again soon.

[mcheang]

Lila looks through Marinette bag and steals Tikki thinking she's a doll. She wants to pass Tikki off as a gift from Ladybug to the class. Tikki gets back at Lila. Bonus: Adrien, and Chloe both recognize Tikki and both figure out that Marinette is Ladybug. Chloe redemption.

What a lovely surprise

No bonus

Lila was planning to steal Marinette’s phone. Instead she found a Ladybug doll and lots of sweets. Wow...baker girl needs to lay off the candy.

Well, if she can’t have Marinette’s phone, she might as well steal her doll. Who even keeps dolls at their age?

It would be so easy to humiliate Marinette for her baby toy. But that wasn’t Lila’s style. She liked a challenge.

Cue Tikki overhearing Lila’s plan to pass her off as a gift from Ladybug.

As if.

While Lila was bragging about the present Ladybug gave her and how she adores it, Tikki escapes after making sure there was something left behind that could substitute her weight and size.

As Lila opened her bag to her eager listeners, out crawled out a swarm of ladybugs.

Now, the miraculous cure is seen as a red wind, you don’t really feel the sensation of crawling legs, nor can you closely see the swarm of ladybugs.

But this...a mass of red bugs...is just gross.

Everyone screamed, even Lila. She squealed and jumped, flinging her bag far from her. “Get it off me! Get it off me!”

Kim: Wth!!!

Alya: what kind of present was that?

Adrien: Ladybug would never give that as a present. Besides, I think Lila is just as surprised as the rest of us.

Lila: of course I’m surprised! That was not the present. It was a toy Ladybug! Not a swarm of ladybugs.

Turning to glare at Marinette. “Did you do this?”

Alya: why would Marinette do this?

Lila: I saw her admiring my toy and we all know Marinette has a habit of stealing phones. Check her purse.

Tikki quickly phased out of the purse.

Everyone just saw candy.

Kim: can I have the chocolate bar?

Rose: Lila, you need to apologize to Marinette!

Lila gritted her teeth. “I’m sorry.”

Alya: but who stole Lila’s toy and replaced it with...ladybugs?

Alix:...maybe the surprise was like a lucky charm. Able to burst into ladybugs?

Max: a little warning would have been nice

Alya: I don’t think so. Ladybug would never do this to her best friend. Someone must have stolen the real gift and replaced it with this...loveliness....

Horrible word for a group of ladybugs that creep the hell out of you. Thank god they were flying off already.

Mylène: but how could someone transfer that much ladybugs? No way.

Adrien: maybe Ladybug sent them as a warning.

He had advised Marinette to leave Lila alone and she had agreed. Adrien didn’t believe for a second Marinette would prank Lila. But for Lila to go after her, maybe she had stolen from Marinette and was trying to frame her now for something gone wrong.

Careful with his wording, Adrien sweetly said, “after all, on our first day, Lila told me she had important things to tell me about Ladybug. But then who showed up but Lady Luck herself, scolding Lila for just announcing ‘their best friend relationship’ to the world. We all know how Ladybug likes her privacy. I don’t think your best friend is happy with you, Lila.”

Adrien’s words worked. Ladybug did value her privacy...but for her to send such a créepy warning to her best friend just didn’t add up. Unless...

Nino: are you even best friends with Ladybug?

Ivan: you don’t have any proof. Ladybug herself never said so. You are as much Ladybug’s self-proclaimed best friend as Chloé is!

Chloé filed her nails, not bothering to raise her head. “Except everyone knows Ladybug trusts me with a miraculous. But can Lila say she is Rena Rouge when we know she is Volpina?”

Lila scrambled to regain control. “Of course I’m Rena! Volpina was my akumatized form.”

Alya: except weren’t you supposed to be in Achu during Heroes’ Day?

Lila: Pegasus brought me back.

Max: Pegasus didn’t even show up for battle. Logic would agree Ladybug would have wanted as much heroes as possible against Scarlet Moth’s army.

Juleka: not to mention, Chloé wasn’t exactly Ladybug’s first choice for a bee heroine. Accidents happen. But we all know Ladybug would want a hero who could keep a secret. And no offense Lila, but you suck at them.

Rose: not that we don’t enjoy celebrity gossip.

Alix: if they were ever true.

Lila saw she was being cornered and immediately burst into fake tears and ran away.

Kim: so to be clear, we’re not going to believe Lila anymore, right?

Alix: yup.

Max: affirmative

Marinette: finally

Lila came back with Ms Bustier, who scolded the class for bullying Lila. The class protested that Lila was a liar

Bustier: oh so you didn’t corner her until she burst out crying?

Alya: she accused Marinette of stealing some toy but Marinette was innocent! She’s been lying to us about everything!

Bustier: now, Lila, you can’t just accuse people without evidence.

Lila: she’s jealous of me!

Bustier: that’s not evidence.

Lila continued to sob.

Bustier sighed, “Perhaps I should call your mother and ask her to take you home.”

The tears miraculously vanished. “No. I don’t want to be a bother. I am a grown girl. I can handle my own problems.”

Bustier: good. Now class, turn to chapter 7....

Ivan: hey if Lila was lying about everything, doesn’t that mean she was playing truant?

Bustier: interrupting is rude, Ivan. Besides, I have her mother’s signed note and emails

Max: how do you know those are not forged and fake?

Nathaniel: did you even call Mrs Rossi to confirm?

Bustier: is that really necessary?

Sabrina: if you didn’t do that, you would be breaking protocol and would be held partially responsible for not doing your job

Bustier: this is ridiculous. Class is in session now, not court.

Chloé: I wonder if the school board would be interested in making an inspection of the akuma class.

Everyone turned to stare at Chloé.

Marinette: you do remember that you cause most akumas right?

Chloé shrugged. “If I’m the bad seed, then Ms Bustier is the one who watered the evil tree.”

Adrien: i thought you liked Ms Bustier

Chloé: that was before she ignored Lila sexually harassing you!

Nino: what?

Adrien: i wouldn’t say harass...

Chloé: you also wouldn’t say your father was an overprotective control freak who neglects you emotionally

Cue silence as Adrien sputters and the class agrees with Chloé.

Chloé: since you would accuse me and Dupain-Cheng for being biased.... illustrator, when Lila touches Adrien, is Adrien standing tall or leaning away.

Nathaniel: he was leaning away. Lila does seem to have no concept of personal boundaries

Marinette: why didn’t you stop her then?

Nathaniel shrugged. “I told Lila off in private. And it was just one time. I never saw her doing it again because Adrien doesn’t always stand close to her.”

Sabrina: I have the photos to prove Adrien minds Lila invading his space.

Chloé: so Miss Liar is guilty of deception, truancy, and sexual harassment. And is our favorite teacher honestly going to wait for an inspector to yell at her for not doing her job?

Under the pressuring stares, Bustier broke. “Fine. Lila, go to the principal’s office.”

Chloé: who says she’ll obey?

Bustier: Marinette, go with Lila.

Marinette: but she always twists my words!

Alya: why can’t Chloé go? The principal always listens to her

Chloé: I’m busy.

Marinette: what happened to doing this for Adrien?

Chloé: ugh. Fine. You people are ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous and hopeless without me.

Lila promptly got expelled. Her mother was called. The usual punishments happen. Even as Lila pointed out the principal was biased, the evidence of Chloe’s accusations were undeniable.

Later, Marinette asked what all that was about.

Tikki: oh she stole me so I had decided to teach her a lesson. Don’t mess with ladybugs.

At Agreste Mansion,

Adrien: so if you felt like it, you could summon a clowder of cats?

Plagg: yup. Much more preferable than actual plagues. Of course the target would be scratched and bitten by many wild cats, but this is already much more merciful than my previous punishments for offenders.