#just back to back harry bullying hahaha
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bendgineer · 5 months ago
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I think one of the reasons the Harris / Walz ticket has so much momentum is because the campaign is genuinely trying to put out this vibe of fun. Like that's all the "brat" thing is, the coconut jokes, just being kind of silly and fun.
And I think it's working, because let's be real, we are all exhausted. It's been all about preserving democracy, defeating fascism, the past eight years. The message has been "vote for us because the country is literally on the line". The vibes are not good when we are stuck back at that fight, and not even discussing trying to make progress on things like housing, healthcare, education, etc. And the fight to just stop fascism? All still true. Project 2025 is real and is extremely scary. We can't let that man back into office.
But the vibe was "vote for us otherwise we're all fucked :(" and now has shifted to "get in, we're making popcorn and then bullying fascists." Like a lot of the issues conservatives bring up, the Harris / Walz is just not engaging them in good faith, as they shouldn't. Republicans bring up abortion, and some of the Dems are just like, "you want 14 year old to give birth? Weirdo" and just leave it at that. Like YES, that's what you should do. Because it SHOULDNT be a debate. And it's working. This is how you defeat the identity politics thing Republicans have been trying to push for a while. Just mocking them for the stupidity of it all. "Like seriously? You think a book can make someone gay??? Hahaha." None of the Republicans are reacting well. They can't stand it. Vance even complained about bullying!!! Like do you KNOW who picked you as vp??? It's actually laughable, because they have no room to stand on when it comes to bullying.
And a huge part of the mocking and dismissing of Republicans is that the message is clear - we are done debating all this stupid stuff. We've won the last two elections' popular vote - most Americans do NOT want christo-facism. It's time to move on. And that's what gives me hope, and the feeling of hope I think a lot of people have picked up on. It's time to address all the issues we've all wished we've been addressing the past decade. It's important we move onto that, and that's the message I'm getting from this campaign (We're not going back). I think it will resonate with a lot of people, because plainly, we're all just sick of this same old news cycle and fake rage bait over things like "should women have rights?", "Should gay people be allowed to exist?" The general populace have answered YES to both these multiple times, and it is time to move on. Maybe I'm being naive, but I am genuinely excited at the idea of putting to bed these debates (it's exhausting trying to fend someone's very existence ) and moving on to actual economic and social policies that could fix a lot of deterioration over the last 2 decades.
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merthurxxxmerthur · 3 months ago
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Thoughts on Snirius
Well, I love this couple so much. I really do. As a toxic couple, the wild one where they're ready to kill each other and then have a week-long sex marathon; or as the most loyal couple in the series, where they understand each other's pain like no one else and find peace in each other and that deep, intense love on the edge of insanity that they both share.
And I mean, like, I know these are fictional characters and I can write or read whatever I want about them.
But I think of them as a doomed couple now. In all the fanfics I've read on Ao3 about them, there are two scenarios: they hate each other but sleep together or they hate each other but go through a long road to a happy life and mutual love. And, you know, I LOVE happy endings. They make me live. But that's not what this is about. What I'm saying is, in all these fanfics (and I'm not blaming the authors for anything, I love them, they feed me) forgiveness is not explored much. I mean, in a couple like Snirius, forgiveness is one of the main themes, isn't it? Because in addition to the childish mutual hatred, there was the attempted murder, there was the seven years of bullying, and finally, there was the incident at the lake. The lake and the memories of it are one of the most horrible things in Harry Potter. It's even hard to read, and we're just observers, like Harry. It never develops beyond Harry's conversation with Sirius and Remus, where they both deny and defend themselves and James. And if we're talking about a plausible development of their relationship, there should be forgiveness. But if you look closely, it's, well, never there. In their pairing, it's Sirius who basically goes through the development arc (something he doesn't have in canon): he changes, breaks himself, his beliefs, goes through a transformation and all that. Severus just accepts him, and everything just becomes okay. Especially after the war, they're both hurt, both outlived their best friends, both were in love with them - it's a good plot. But forgiveness is hard. We see it in canon - Lily didn't forgive Severus and, basically, everything is fine with that. It was a trait for her. What I mean is: could Severus even forgive Sirius? Even if he apologized sincerely and really changed as a person? After all the insults, bullying and asshole behavior that Sirius demonstrated during the Order? It's not one word, it's almost a decade of bullying for no reason, for fun and laughter. It's SO hard. Because the damage is done, it's irreparable: it's in the bones, it's in the blood, it's in the head and the heart. When I think of them as a couple, just sitting together on the couch or in the kitchen, cooking together, I always think of Severus remembering something: an insult, a shove, a kick, whatever, that he got from Sirius back in their school days. Like, just imagine this - it's crazy, it wouldn't take long to jump out the window.
You think you've gotten over it and you're in love, but then you dive right back in. Always afraid that he's going to say something hurtful about you or your hair or your clothes or whatever. So, yeah. I think they're doomed. I like the idea that no matter what changes Sirius goes through, Severus will never forgive him. I like the idea of ​​Sirius loving Severus SO much that he can't breathe, he can't eat, he will think about him every second of every day, pining from longing - but he'll never have his feelings returned. Sirius will love Severus more than James, and he'll be terrified of it. But, as in the case of James, he will never be with him. Some kind of retribution, justice. Or consequences for his own actions - something he's never really learned. And maybe they'd try, but it wouldn't work. And maybe at first Sirius would have treated it as something frivolous, but then suddenly he fell in love with him too much. And maybe Severus would just leave and find someone better, hahaha.
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remember-2-dismember · 10 days ago
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⋆ 𝖧𝖺𝗋𝖺𝗌𝗌𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝗈𝗐𝖺𝗋𝖽𝗌 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗉𝖾𝗈𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝖻𝗒 𝖤𝗋𝗂𝖼 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖣𝗒𝗅𝖺𝗇 ⋆
Old account got nuked a good week ago, and just when I thought this info post was completely erased from the surface of earth, I found it copy-pasted in a Discord convo. So now I'm posting it again, because I think it is important that people know about this. The post starts under the cut.
Eric
Near the beginning of his freshman year, Eric pulled a prank on Tiffany Typher (his homecoming date, who can also be seen in the Eric in Columbine video) because she didn’t want to go out with him again. Brooks walked Tiffany over to Eric’s house, where Eric staged his suicide with a rock and fake blood.
On February 27, 1997, Eric threw a chunk of ice at Brooks Brown's car, damaging the windshield. When Brooks told Eric he was going to pay for it, Eric said, "Kiss my ass, Brooks! I ain't paying for shit!" Eric also threatened to kill Brooks on his website, and supposedly set off fireworks on their front porch and shot a paintball through their garage.
In July 1998, Sasha Jacobs (a girl Eric dated for a while) received threatening phone calls that would say “I’m going to kill you” or “a bomb is coming.” She believes they were from Eric. Eric sent her an email saying that she was a loose end and he was trying to fix all his loose ends.
According to Chris Morris, a member of the trench coat mafia, Eric would intentionally start fights and expect him to back him up.
In early 1999, a sophomore accidentally bumped into Eric in the hallway. Eric became angry and the two got into a shoving match. Before going their separate ways, Eric told the boy to “watch his back.”
About three months before the massacre, a girl accidentally ran into Dylan’s car in Columbine’s parking lot. They all got out of their cars (Eric was with Dylan), and Eric yelled at the girl, saying she was a stupid bitch who wasn’t paying attention to where she was going. Dylan on the other hand kind of laughed it off, saying it evened out the bumps on the other side, and told Eric to get back into the car before they took off.
The day before the massacre, a freshman accidentally bumped into Eric. The two quarreled over who should be watching where they were going and as the boys parted ways, Eric said, “have a good day tomorrow.”
“I have always hated how I looked, I make fun of people who look like me, sometimes without even thinking sometimes just because I want to rip on myself.” – Eric Harris in his journal
Dylan
Michelle Hartsough, a supervisor at Blackjack, said Dylan was scary and a difficult person who was often rude. She stated that he hit her once because she counseled him about an infraction.
In early 1998, after Dylan was sent to the dean’s office for vandalizing a locker, he cussed as he paced around the Dean’s office. He did not personalize anything towards the Dean, but the Dean got the impression that he was a “pretty angry kid.”
“Man... Let’s sum up junior year. The kool shit at least: sitting in the commons dubbing and laughing at fags. Hahaha. Frisbee fags.... Orange mortars for them.” – Dylan, in Eric’s 1998 yearbook.
A student said Dylan would pick on him in gym class and that the ridicule was so persistent that they almost got into a physical fight. He told police that he witnessed Dylan harassing other kids as well.
Another student said Dylan was always pushing others and cheating in gym.
In fall of 1998, Dylan started tackling girls during a gym class game of touch football.
“He had a habit of shoving girls to the ground, even tackling them, during flag-football games.” - Tara Zobjeck. She yelled at him to knock it off and he called her a bitch. “He hated me, because I yelled at him. And then he started bothering me, calling me a bitch and basically yelling at me and stuff“
Tara’s boyfriend intervened and told Dylan he would kick his ass if he didn’t leave Tara alone. Dylan left her alone after that.
In November of 1998, Dylan began to bully Adam Kyler, a student with special needs. Adam said Dylan would threaten to kill him if he went to class and that if he told anyone what was happening he would shoot him. Adam’s mother reported the bullying to the school, and soon after, it stopped. She thinks her son was bullied because of his learning disability.
According to Dylan’s classmates in French, he would “get very angry in class with the teacher and the other students, and would start throwing things around,” “he had a very bad temper and couldn’t control it,” and he couldn’t get along with others.
Dylan would constantly make comments that were either derogatory or critical of his French teacher (Cathie Lutz). He would swear in class and was “very openly disrespectful.” Dylan was often asked to leave the class and was even suspended from the class for a period of time.
Dylan’s Chemistry teacher (Theresa Miller) stated that after class was over, Dylan would walk out and slam the door against the wall. She stated that he was angry and his grades were poor. He stopped the door slamming after she confronted him about it.
A few weeks before the massacre, Dylan called Peggy Dodd a bitch because she asked him to pay for using the library’s printer. On April 20th, Peggy saw Dylan shooting outside and panicked because she knew he hated her and she thought he was going to kill her.
After that incident, Richard Long called Dylan into his office to ask what happened. "Well that bitch...," Dylan started. That was all Long needed to know. He stopped Dylan mid-sentence. "You can't talk like that," Long said. "You're never going to be allowed on the computers again." "Well, you know, it doesn't matter," Dylan said. "It doesn't matter."
About a week before the massacre, an English teacher (Tommie Nykanen) said Dylan laughed inappropriately in defiance at her in the hallway and made her feel scared.
“I try not to pick on people. Obviously at least one power is against me.” – Dylan Klebold in his journal
Both of them
The Rebel Missions were a series of “missions” completed by Eric, Dylan, and Zack Heckler where they would vandalize the houses of people they did not like.
On October 2, 1997, Eric, Dylan, and Zach Hackler were suspended for hacking into the school’s servers, obtaining locker codes, breaking into lockers, and leaving a threatening note in Kevin Starkey’s (“Scoop” on Eric’s hitlist) locker, telling him to stay away from Devon Adams (Zach's girlfriend).
A Dean at Columbine said there were problems with Eric, Dylan, and other seniors picking on freshman. (“I can’t wait to dub the new freshmen.” – Dylan Klebold in Eric’s yearbook)
The entire massacre. They harassed many students in the library. They killed twelve students + one teacher, and were directly responsible for the injuries of 21 others. They caused thousands to suffer from PTSD and emotional pain. They eventually became the bullies.
⋆ ⋆
This post does not mean to glamorize/romanticize any actions taken by Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris and is for educational purposes only. If you have a problem with my blog, please block me, but don't report.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆
Gute Nacht
- 1:40 𝚊.𝚖. 𝙰𝚛𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎
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louisisalarrie · 10 months ago
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The double standards in this fandom are sometimes crazy! People both here (especially one “Larrie” blog) and on Twitter going crazy about how embarrassing Louis is and how stupid he is because of ONE like, and at the same time the same people are praising Harry and go all #freeharry when he’s modelling with his newest fake girlfriend in NY.
Sorry, but why is it, that people feel sorry for Harry and his closet, but Louis gets called out every time he tries to keep up the straight image. We haven’t have a stunt gf/date since the Sofie disaster and if some likes and follows on IG can keep it at that, could we then just happy and not call him out every time
Sorry for the rant! And I know you are not “guilty” in this, I just needed to get it out. I seriously feel sorry for Louis and lot of the time because his fans sometimes is so quick to stab him in the back!
Holaaaaa anon. im pretty sure I know the exact account you’re talking about hahaha. There are a couple like that which are pretty popular, and it’s very frustrating. Craaazy double standards go on between louis and harry, and I think a lot of it is because Harry’s got a glass closet going on. His actions look like he’s bashing at the door, trying to get out, being himself as much as he can and being loud. He’s all but confirmed he’s not straight, and we see him actively jumping around with the pride flag and being flamboyant and very touchy with men.
The uhhhh not hate, but frustration, towards louis, mostly comes from it appearing that he doesn’t even wanna come out. That he’s just not even trying anymore. That he’s not being loud, or true to himself, and he’s just doing the bare minimum for us, and for himself. That he’s too focused on appearing straight for his career now and is compliant with his forced closeting.
However, the lack of louis’ overt pushing, means a lack of stunts. The Big Gay War in 2015 is a great example. He was pushing soooooo hard, and got stuck with the most godawful stunt ever. Mind you, louis took a lot on his shoulders when it came to closeting during the 1d years. I’m absolutely not saying that Harry didn’t, but louis did more and more to give Harry a little more freedom every time. Again, not comparing, but stating a fact that S*mon had louis with his hands tied and louis wanted to protect his baby. He was treated very differently by S*mon, given harsh reprimands and gaslit and was bullied into doing it.
I think he has a bit of a different perspective on it because of that. Harry and Louis are both very different people with very different ways of dealing with their closet, and it’s silly to compare them though. And I think louis is happy where he is at the moment, and I don’t think he’ll come out without Harry. I just don’t see him doing it alone.
It comes down to everything from their fashion choices, to stage presence, to fan interactions, to interviews, to stunts, and they’re just not going to be loud in the same way. Not to mention, their teams are extremely different too. The Az*ffs looooooooove love love Harry being a trendsetter, and actively encourage (most of) it. He does still do shit to fight back, 100%, but the Harry styles brand now relies essentially on his glass closet and the ambiguity of his sexuality, ya know?
I do hope we get very loud larry content soon though. It does get frustrating. We’ve not even gotten a single interaction between them for years.
Anyway, they shouldn’t be compared. Louis loves Harry, Harry loves Louis, they’re together, they deal with their closets differently, they have different levels of fame and fan demographics and brands, and they’ll come out when they can and are ready, and that’s the end of that.
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ladykeane · 2 years ago
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I'm just gonna dump my Super Mario headcanons here bc who's gonna stop me
Mario - Mr fix-it, type A, I'm-not-happy-unless-I-have-a-task-in-front-of-me. The storyline that has he & Luigi born in the Mushroom Kingdom is A LIE, the boys from Brooklyn were flushed down a magic pipe into the Mushroom world, so there.
In New York he helped his neighbours by fixing toilets and boilers and showers for next to nothing. His favourite jobs were for old nonnas who paid him in home made-dishes of cannoli and baked ziti.
He has bone-deep working class pride, which sits paradoxically next to his status as the favourite of a royal. He and Luigi's cottage is completely paid for by the Mushroom crown, but in Toad Town he continues his habit of fixing the Toads' plumbing for a pittance - given this and all his other acts of service for the people, few citizens begrudge him his Peach-bestowed perks. He's one of those guys who is preeningly proud of how humble and utilitarian he is. Also, he is fiercely protective of his little brother, having defended him from bullies and shored up his courage since they were little.
Luigi - Truly flourishes as a softe cottagecore plant gay. Loves his gardening and cooking, and gets baking tips from Peach. He's constantly worried about his brother gallavanting off to rescue various lands from the clutches of evil. Neat freak. Back in Brooklyn, his prized possessions were the tiny kitchen garden he started with his late mother, and his pristine collection of Josh Groban CDs (btw he has a beautiful singing voice).
He often invites E Gadd round for tea and biscuits and life advice (E Gadd is the first elder gay in his life, and has taken him under his wing). He just tends to attract bold people who adore him and insist on PROTECTING HIM AT ALL COSTS (eg Mario, Daisy, Prince Peasley... Bowser???) Just a sweet precious gentle baby boy.
Peach - She lost her mother at an early age, and also lost her father to grief-induced madness (angsty backstory OOOH). She was thrust into a leadership role at a tragically early age as Princess Regent, and owes everything she knows about governing to Toadsworth (who is more of a dad to her than the poor mentally ill King ever could be). She is absolutely the OG Mom Friend and a fair-minded and compassionate ruler - the welfare of the citizens has flourished under her. She is an incredibly strong person because of her kindness and integrity (girlboss who?).
She and Mario first connected over their shared sense of responsibility for others, and were able to let go and unwind with each other, enjoying mutual venting and consolation. She just absolutely loves the churlish lil dude and will probably be the one to propose marriage. She is also a few years older than the rest of the main posse, probably about thirty or so.
Bowser started out as an enemy to the Mushroom Kingdom, but as the years have passed, the relationship has mellowed quite a bit, and his intermittent abductions of Peach are more ceremonial than anything else (really, he just does it for the attention). Bowser always makes sure to have a comfortable suite with a good wi-fi connection set up for Peach, so she doesn't miss any important work for Mushroom Parliament while she's waiting for Mario to rescue her.
Daisy - AYOOOOO she's a little PUNK (also given the dearth of Sarasaland lore in the canon I can pretty much make up what I want hahaha). Sarasaland's capital is Birabuto, a coastal city in the country's desert region. The sovreign's formal title is always Totomesu, as the local culture asserts that the royal line is descended from the lion-god Totomesu.
Daisy is the 'Prince Harry' of her family, with her older brother being groomed for the throne. As soon as she came of age she was out getting involved in pub brawls, flipping off paparazzi, and dyeing her hair inadvisable colours. Her father is always worried about her, however she does bring pride to Sarasaland as an ambassador for sports. It's a longstanding obligation of the royals in the Mushroom world to entertain the citizens with athletic endeavours, and that's the area in which she excels. She is fiercely competitive, and her bedchamber in Birabuto Palace is pretty much just a storage room for her many many trophies.
She and Peach went to the same elite boarding school, though Peach was a few years above her. The older girl pretty much adopted the younger girl upon meeting, so they've been besties ever since childhood. When Peach graduated to go and act as ruler of the Musroom Kingdom, she and Daisy sent regular letters to each other. Peach would also send her care packages full of baked goods, sports magazines, and romance novels.
The moment Daisy graduated, she purposefully forgot everything she learnt in deportment and etiquette classes. She has a mouth like a drunken irate longshoreman. She has also since pretty much moved to the Mushroom Palace permanently - the King of Sarasaland is content to let Peach handle the brazen lil shit.
She is head over heels in love with Luigi and it's tragically one-sided. She commissioned the golden statue of them dancing together, which sits on Birabuto's harbourside boulevard, as a birthday present for herself. She can never look at it without a painful mix of love and despair. Like all of Luigi's admirers she will go full mama bear to protect him.
She may also have an occasional no-strings-attached fling with Captain Syrup, whenever the two run into each other at various ports. (I mean, Daisy does appear to have an affinity for boats...)
Wario & Waluigi - Like Charles Martinet said, two nice evil guys who found each other. They both come from Diamond City, which is its own semi self-contained territory in the Mushroom Kingdom. It has historical roots as a mining town, and enjoys certain special free-market mercantile priveleges (so it's full of con-men, crooks and corporate douchebags).
This video has influenced many of my thoughts on the duo. 'Wario' and 'Waluigi' are definitely aliases made up to intentionally antagonise the Mario Brothers. Not sorry, I really love the idea that Waluigi's legal name is Jimmy Papadopoulos, and he is also the Jimmy P. from the Warioware games (he's a great dancer and owns a canary yellow afro wig for clubbing, lol).
Waluigi/Jimmy is the adopted son of Spike Papadopoulos, the CEO of a successful demolition company. Waluigi dropped out of college and was coerced into working for his dad, who wanted him to make something of himself instead of just playing tennis and going dancing at nightclubs like the priveleged lil asshat he is.
He met 'Wario' one day at his tennis club, who had seen his performance on the court and had heard about his reputation as a skeezy but suprisingly skilled athlete. They bonded over their shared hobbies and their status as adopted children, Wario having an absolutely sleazy slapper of an adoptive mum (hmmm... they're both adopted, huh?...). They soon teamed up, created their 'stage names', and challenged the Bros at every opportunity.
As Warioware inc took off (and amassed ill-gotten profits), Wario purchased a sprawling mansion in the hills of Diamond City. Waluigi went from sponging off his dad to sponging off his best friend,  moving into the second bedroom.
There is some gentlemanly honour hidden behind their asshole facades: as much as they bicker, they are unswervingly loyal to each other. In matters of the heart, Wario is suprisingly gallant to his girlfriend Mona (they make me think of Gouda and Yamato from 'Ore no Monogatari'), while Waluigi's hopeless love for Princess Daisy spurs him to try and be a better version of himself (or at least a slightly less jerky version of himself).
Also, Toadette has a massive crush on Waluigi. He was once nice to her and spent an afternoon helping her improve her tennis technique, afterwards treating her to a milkshake from the Peach Dome cafeteria (mostly beacuse he knows she's a friend of Daisy). Oh if only senpai would notice her.
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personinthepalace · 3 years ago
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The Loneliest Conga Line - Mischief Movie Night In
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skepticalarrie · 2 years ago
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hey allie! i guess this ask isn’t much of a question lol but i’ve recently come back to tumblr (and really all things involving hl) and even if the time i’ve invested in them have decreased through the years bc of uni and life in general, i don’t think there’s anything that could ever change my mind about them no matter how many stunts have come our way.. lol if anything the fact that the stunts are still happening kinda proves our point! after taking a break last 2020 and your acc is one of my first stops since my hiatus to do some catching up so i’m glad to see that even though most of my old mutuals have kind of slowly disappeared, yours and a couple familiar blogs have remained..
speaking from experience, dealing with annoying stans are easily one of the biggest reasons why people up and leave social media but checking up on some larrie accs on twt on a new account, there is a growing circle among hl stans that do not deal with stunts and babygate. i left my old account and cut off any contact with previous mutuals on twitter bc of our difference in perspective so i have no one to ask, but do you know how and when the shift happened? it was kind of interesting that for the same reason i could have been eaten alive on twitter is exactly why that side of the fandom is thriving now.. (i know it’s kind of an unspoken rule to not bother with annoying twarries so i totally get it if you don’t end up answering this ask, just curious ^^)
Hey, dear. First of all, welcome back 🥰
I could be wrong but I think your question, in general, is more directed to twitter stans behaviour, and I don’t think I’m the best person to answer that but I can try hahaha. What I’ve noticed through the years is that yes, there are more annoying fans now than there were before. The environment has become more hostile towards larries each day and the constant doxxing and bullying discouraged a lot of larries to stick around and actively blogging, although they still support HL.
I think babygate was the thing that tore the fandom apart years ago and, quite honestly, that’s what still does. So maybe that is the reason a lot of larries choose not to engage with it. I mean, talking about stunts is usually what makes our replies and asks to get flooded with hateful comments and regardless of how we take that, it’s a heavy subject loaded with very dense discussions. Closeting, homophobia, PR relationships, marketing moves, fake pregnancies�� I mean, it’s not for everyone and I can’t blame people who are just trying to have a good time here instead of engaging with these topics. And as time goes by, it gets deeper and there are more questions left unanswered. It does tire you up.
Plus, the pandemic brought a lot of new fans, and many different kinds of perspectives and expectations. I think a lot of people became frustrated when they realised that this post-pandemic era - where Harry has the most annoying pr relationship ever and is stunting non-stop, and babygate is back with full force - it’s a pretty bad scenario stunt-wise. Harry is more famous than ever, Louis’ fanbase skyrocketed and his career is finally taking a path he seems happy with. And the stunts are still there, we’re still punching bags. So maybe that’s the shift you’re referring to, people are tired.
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ailec-12 · 3 years ago
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Prooooompt!! When Sev gets bullied by a group of kids, James is forced to look back and confront his own past behaviour. --- I'd love it if Sirius and Remus are there, too, and I'd love for Lily to get angry at some point. I kind of see this happening during the time where Sev and James' relationship is not so good (which is a very ample period of time, lol), but feel free to modify the idea as you want.
Thanks so much for this prompt, I really loved it! Wish I could've managed to include everything, but I'm delighted you still liked it so much.
Also, shout-out to @evilbeanghost for reading it beforehand and helping me see I was fretting over nothing, hahaha. Thanks, dear.
Also on AO3.
Looking in the Mirror
I. First Warning
It happens during his first week at school and Severus is paralysed by terror as he waits by the headmaster’s door. His fears are confirmed when not only Lily but James, too, turn the corner. He is in big trouble. For starters, he had no idea they would call any parents after just one fight. In addition, he has thrown the first punch, so the bruise blossoming on his own cheek had been written off as self-defence and he is the only one facing serious consequences.
He wants to cry. He wants to run. Instead, he digs his trembling fingers in the wooden bench. As soon as Lily is close enough, she crouches down. Her fingers brush against his unscathed cheek.
“Oh, Sev, what happened?”
“I reckon it’s pretty obvious,” James snaps coldly, stopping just behind her.
She glares back, but there is no time to do anything else as the door opens and the headmaster welcomes them. Only the adults, so Severus keeps waiting.
They are in the office for a really long time, enough that his need to cry passes and he starts feeling numb. He startles when they finally come out. Lily’s face is tauter than before, but James is strangely relaxed —hands in his pockets and hardly sparing him a glance.
“We’ll let you off with a warning this time, Mr Snape,” the headmaster’s booming voice warns him from the door. “Don’t let it happen again.”
He shakes his head silently, but then finds Lily’s eyes fixed on him and his stomach churns.
“I won’t, sir.”
There is a hand on his shoulder and they walk out like a perfect family. Severus tries not to think about it.
Their usual Apparating spot is near the school and yet, Lily makes an effort to get his side of the story before getting home. She is frustrated, as is James, but Severus does not let it get to him. He is not going to tell, he is no telltale.
Of course, Sirius is home when they get back —the man practically lives there and neither James nor Lily seems to mind.
“What was the matter, then?”
“Snape got into a fight,” answers James in a pretty conversational tone. Severus knows to spot the danger at moments like this, though.
“Did he kill someone? That why you had to go get him?” Sirius smirks, bouncing Harry up and down to the latter’s delight.
“It’s not funny, Sirius,” Lily cuts in.
There is certainly an edge to her voice and so, even if she has been safe so far, Severus steps back, putting some distance between him and the others.
“C’mon, Lils, you can’t be surprised.”
Her scathing look manages to shut James up and Severus is more than a little nervous when he follows her upstairs.
She heals him before asking any questions. Her tenderness is so great that his eyes well up with tears.
“I know it stings. It’ll pass soon,” she reassures him, breaking the fantasy that maybe, just maybe, this could be his mother fixing him up when it is merely a bruise.
“What happened, Sev?”
The question finally comes once they are done and have been sitting in silence for a little while.
“You know what happened,” he replies, stubborn, because he is sure the headmaster has not held back the details.
“Perhaps, but I’d like to hear it from you.”
He looks away to show his defiance —to avoid her disapproving frown.
“I started it,” he says, and waits.
Her only reaction is a sigh. She cups his face, forcing him to make eye contact. She no longer looks upset, but there is an intensity in her gaze he has no clue how to read.
“There must’ve been a reason, though.”
After a pause, the next words fall from his lips without his permission.
“I don’t wanna go to school. I– I can just learn here! I promise I’ll be good and do everything you say.”
He tries to plead with his eyes the way he has read in books, but he must not be very good at it because she sighs again and smiles the slightest bit.
“School isn’t a punishment. It might be hard at first, but it’ll get better. You’ll make friends, you’ll see, but you can’t resort to violence. No more fights, okay?”
II. Suspension
He has tried hard to keep his promise to Lily, he really has, but those pricks will not leave him alone. His blood boils every time they laugh at him and, when one of them has snatched his homework, he has seen red. This time, he has not even given them a chance to hit back. And so, now he is once again waiting outside Headmaster Wright’s office.
He stiffens when only James turns the corner. He keeps looking for Lily —surely she will be right behind—, but no one else shows up. James strides towards him and there is no mistaking his annoyance even from far away. The glare he spares him before knocking on the door is short-lived, but so intense it burns.
Shortly after, James comes out, closing the door behind him.
“You’re suspended. A week.” He does not even look at Severus, biting out the words in a way that makes the temperature around them drop several degrees.
Severus starts to tremble.
“It wasn’t my fault.” For some reason, he cannot help defending himself. “They–”
James’s head whips around all of a sudden, startling Severus so badly he forgets for a moment he is sitting. The back of the chair stops him from moving away as James gets in his face, so close the boy can see every pore on his skin.
“I don’t want to hear it. I don’t care. I don’t want to be called here ever again because you can’t get a grip on your anger. You’d better make sure this is the last time, understood? I won’t allow a violent punk in my home.”
James does not raise his voice beyond a whisper, but Severus nods energetically all the same. James is neither annoyed nor upset right now, he is angry. There are several seconds of absolute stillness and there is no way to guess how James will react if he decides not to believe him. Finally, though, the man straightens up.
“Let’s go,” he says, his tone still cold.
Side-Apparition with James leaves him feeling queasier than usual and only the strong grip on his arm stops him from leaning forward and dry heaving. James does not let go of him as soon as they reach the house. Instead, he leads him to the garden room, where Harry is having a flight session with Remus and Sirius. Remus looks concerned, but Sirius just looks irked by his presence. Almost instinctively, Severus longs to hide behind James, before remembering that the man is not feeling very favourable towards him at the moment. At last, his arm is free.
“What now?”
“He got suspended for attacking another student,” James replies curtly, already going to Harry.
Sirius whistles.
“Suspended in your first month, what an accomplishment. These Muggles don’t muck around, do they?”
“What happened, though? There must be more to it,” Remus intervenes, echoing Lily’s sentiment. It makes Severus look down.
“Are you justifying violence, Moony?” Sirius asks, teasing, but James cuts him off.
“What d’you say, Snape? Any reason why you had to beat up a classmate?”
James’s tone leaves no doubt about the right answer to his question, so Severus shakes his head, still not lifting his eyes.
“Well, it doesn’t matter because it won’t happen again, right?”
There is a ringing in his ears and he thinks about consequences and learnt lessons. This time, he forces himself to choke out an answer.
“No, sir.”
III. Final Straw
Severus feels like he cannot breathe. Somehow, he is on the same chair, all alone again, nearing the end of the first term. Now that Lily has got a job as an editor at The Practical Potioneer, he knows who will come to pick him up. It has hardly been his fault this time, but he is the only repeat offender, so while the others have been let off with a warning, he is facing expulsion. The headmaster has said as much.
He has wanted to beg to skip school for weeks now, because he was afraid something like this would happen. At first, he had refused to let them win, putting up with their insults and occasional incidents —nothing serious, just tripping him on his way to class or trying to stick gum in his hair. Things have started to escalate after they had realised he was avoiding them, though. Occasional had turned into frequent and Severus had been left with making up excuses for coming back home with stained clothes or a teacher’s note complaining about not turning in his homework.
He has borne all of this and, in the end, it has been for nothing. A couple of tears roll down his face and he hurries to wipe them. Crying has only ever managed to anger his father further.
He knows it is pathetic to fight so hard to stay where he is not wanted. He is not a little kid anymore, he can fend for himself. And yet, he is terrified of getting kicked out and ending in an orphanage or on the streets, where he would freeze to death. James had been very clear on this matter, though. Besides, he must be eager to punish him properly, since last time Lily arrived and decided that a lecture and boredom were enough punishment.
James has him waiting in the lonely corridor for a long time and, when he finally shows up, he is accompanied by Harry. Despite his urge to hide, Severus forces himself to look up. He will face whatever comes, it is the only thing left for him to do.
------------
James is fed up, both with the brat and with this situation. He respects that Dumbledore and Lily feel responsible, but neither is coming to pick up the lad early for the third time, are they? He does not like the bitterness of the voice that whispers these ideas in his head, even less so regarding Lily, but part of him wishes he could just tell the school to solve the bloody problem without involving him.
Snape is sitting on his usual chair, staring. He does not care that he has upended their lives, that much is clear. Today, though, he looks worse for wear. He has got a black eye and a split lip and one of his hands is mostly covered in purple. Absent-mindedly, James wonders if the other parents have already picked up their children. This looks like the result of a proper fight rather than one of Snape’s outbursts.
James stares back coldly, thinking about what he can say, but nothing comes to mind. In the end, he adjusts Harry on his hip and knocks on the headmaster’s door before entering. Whereas the first conversation went on for longer than necessary due to Lily’s questions and Wright’s complaints, their second meeting was much shorter. James agreed that Snape had a bad temper, blamed it on the story they had spun about him being Lily’s recently orphaned cousin and only asked about the length of the suspension. However, he can already feel this third meeting will not be as quick.
After a few pleasantries, Wright rants on about how they cannot tolerate this kind of violent demeanour, about how Snape likes defying authority, has a habit of lying and makes no effort to integrate. James already knows all of this —he grew up with the prick—, but lets the man get it off his chest. Harry is standing next to his chair, refusing to let go of his hand while looking around with eyes full of curiosity.
“So, what happened this time? I know his behaviour isn’t the best, but it’s been a while since the last fight.” His own question almost surprises him, but he reasons that Lily will demand an explanation about what the other boys got for beating Snape up.
“Well, apparently, he insulted some of his classmates without provocation and, when they confronted him, he threatened them with a pocket knife.” The headmaster puts the blade on the table with a dramatic flourish and James’s eyes go wide. “I’m guessing you didn’t know he owned one of these.”
“No, no… We had no idea.”
James swallows, his irritation fading away. This is more serious than he had thought. They have let someone dangerous get near their son.
“Well, the others got scared and saw no option but to defend themselves.”
“I see…” James mumbles, his eyes and thoughts still fixed on the sharp object.
He picks up Harry and settles him on his lap, where he can hold him close. It is understandable that the other boys would be afraid, but something does not sound right. James cannot quite put his finger on it.
“He’s been punched in the face, though,” he says, remembering the swollen lip. “Who’d punch someone who’s holding a knife? I assume that happened afterwards.”
Wright looks at him in confusion and James cannot help frowning. The more he thinks about it, the more he is certain he is missing something. Why the hell did Snape carry a pocket knife to school?
“How have you punished the other party?” he asks without preamble.
“Well, it’s their first offence this term, so–”
“Second, it’s their second one. Severus had a bruised cheek the first time.”
“Forgive me, Mr Potter, but how do you know they’re the same boys?”
James opens and closes his mouth like a gaping fish, feeling as stupid as one. He does not know because he has not asked. Unconsciously, he has pictured a fight of four against one and it is always the same four boys in his mind.
Resolute, he is suddenly sure of what he must do.
“You’re right, we should ask Severus.” Not waiting for an answer, he gets up, taking Harry with him, and opens the door.
Snape scrambles to his feet as soon as he sees him, taking half a step back. James breathes in deeply, willing himself not to feel irked. He reckons emotions are running high on both sides.
“Get in, we want to talk about what happened.”
Snape looks at him warily, but says nothing as he obeys. James points at one of the chairs and takes a seat on the other one. Harry tries to squirm out of his arms —as soon as he is put on the floor, he crawls towards the older boy and uses his legs to stand up. Snape’s attention, however, is fixed on the blade. ‘Good,’ James thinks.
“Mr Snape, your cousin and I want to hear from you what happened.”
Snape glances sideways for the briefest instant. When he looks back down, he finds Harry attempting to climb onto his lap. James would like to reach out and take his son away, but chooses to wait —Snape will turn him down soon enough.
Instead, though, Snape lets him grab his hands. At once, Harry pushes himself up and there is no option but to help him. The toddler is now securely on his lap, but the silence stretches nevertheless.
“Snape, speak up, is it true you provoked your classmates and pulled a knife on them?” insists Wright.
Snape nods ever so slightly. This should be it, but James still has questions.
“Are these the same lads that punched you during the first week?”
Big black eyes turn to him and, after a long moment, the lad offers another small nod.
“What about the incident that led to your suspension? Were they involved as well?”
It seems Snape has finally picked up on his intentions, because he blushes and shifts his attention to Harry.
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Headmaster, were you aware there’s been a group of students targeting Severus for months?” James asks, trying to keep his inner turmoil out of his voice.
“I don’t think that’s–”
“No one’s targeting me!” interrupts Sev– Snape.
“Don’t yell,” James scolds and turns back to the headmaster, waiting for an answer.
“The boy’s got a nasty temper,” Wright says, placating. “I understand you’d like to blame it on someone else, but these are good students. We’ve never had these issues with them. Surely, they’ve been provoked to reach this point.”
James’s own temper rises and he forces himself to swallow down the anger that threatens to take over. He reminds himself Snape is no saint —he does not even like the git.
“Sn– Severus, tell us what happened. From the start.”
He half expects Snape will refuse to speak the way he has done every time —half expects the lad will kick up a fuss. And yet, he is solely focused on Harry, who is playing with the buttons on his shirt. Despite the long pause and the headmaster’s obvious impatience, no one interrupts. At last, Snape takes a shuddering breath and starts talking, so low James has to strain to hear.
“They found me in the toilets and wouldn’t let me out. When I tried to get past them, they… they pushed me and I fell. I hit the sink, split my lip.” Severus peeks up at him and, for some reason, James feels completely inadequate, like he has no clue what expression he should be wearing. “I, um… I– I took out the pocket knife. I swear I wasn’t gonna use it, just wanted them to leave me alone,” he keeps on, with urgency and a tremor in his voice. “But, uh, I was down and I couldn’t… One of them stepped on my hand and another one threw a punch to teach me a lesson.”
There is no mistaking the shame in his words or on his face as he looks away from James.
“The school nurse has already checked him,” Wright hurries to assure. “She said nothing’s broken, just bruised.”
Not for the first time, James thinks he may be the only sane person in the room. How the bloody hell is that supposed to make it sound better?
“No teacher saw the incident, either, so it’s his word against theirs,” Wright continues, believing James’s incredulity to be an invitation to keep talking. “And he hasn’t complained before, so it sounds awfully convenient. Of course, his repeated offences and especially the pocket knife are grounds enough to expel him.”
James opens his mouth to protest, but closes it right away. When he thinks about it, the idea of getting Severus to remain enrolled at that school is not appealing, not when there are some bullies no one cares to stop. He gets up, picking up Harry, who protests.
“Of course,” he parrots, trying to channel an icy sort of politeness. “Let’s go, Severus.”
Neither says another word as they leave the school, but James notices the look of alarm on Snape’s face when they walk past their Apparition point.
“We’re flying today,” is all he says. It gets him a nod.
First, though, he needs to stop somewhere and think. Thus, as soon as he spots a fancy-looking café, he ushers the children inside. He orders three chocolate milkshakes when Severus says he does not want anything.
They still do not speak. James is busy helping Harry drink using the straw, but when he lifts his head, Snape has not touched his milkshake. The lad catches his gaze and glares.
“Are you dropping me off after this?”
“Dropping you off? Where?” James asks back, confused.
“At the orphanage,” he retorts, keeping up his defiant act. Any other day, it could have fooled him.
“You aren’t going to the orphanage, lad. After this, we’re all going home.”
“You said you’d kick me out if they called you again. And I got myself expelled.”
James is about to argue he did not say such a thing when another idea comes to mind. He remembers Snape’s meekness back in the headmaster’s office and his face when he had finally recounted the tale. There is more to it than wounded pride.
“Is that why you didn’t say anything about the bullying? Because you were afraid I’d kick you out?”
“I ain’t bullied! I can fight back!” The lad’s reaction is so strong that he nearly spills his drink. It does not seem to register, though.
“Lower your voice,” James chides, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice. “Fighting back has nothing to do with this.” Severus keeps glaring, but he looks so young that James cannot bring himself to feel truly annoyed. “How long have they been bothering you?”
He hopes against hope the lack of fights is partially due to things calming down for a time. Yet, Severus’s embarrassment confirms his worst fears.
“Since the beginning,” he mumbles after a few seconds, looking down and slightly huddling up, as if this admission could set James off.
James can only sigh. There is an emptiness in the pit of his stomach and the sight of his milkshake is starting to make him feel nauseous. In the meantime, Harry has managed to get chocolate stains all over.
“I’m sorry.” Difficult as it is, he forces the words out, because there is not much else he can say.
Severus’s shock is expected and, suddenly, James is too tired to keep up this conversation. He remembers taunting a boy his age, unconsciously knowing it was safe —there was nothing at stake for him. He remembers telling the girl he liked he would stop if she agreed to go out with him, because everything was just a game. He remembers seeing a black eye not long ago and thinking the brat must have done something to deserve it.
“What for?”
The quiet question breaks his bleak train of thought. When he looks up, Severus is very still and his shock has melted into a sort of tentative confusion.
“For not listening,” James settles on saying. He tries to convey with his gaze every feeling he cannot describe aloud. “I will do better from now on, I promise.”
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lxngbottom · 4 years ago
Text
Mute. | N.L (Part 3)
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in which the reader doesn’t talk, and neville finally changes that.
warnings: bullying, swearing (lmk if there are more!)
word count: 3,504
okay final part hahaha i just really love protective neville PLS
PART 2 HERE!
neville cursed her name as he walked at their meeting spot.
‘damn her for being so amazing.’
if he thought he couldn’t get y/n off of his mind before, this was completely different. y/n was the only thing that ran through his mind. it had gotten to the point where he couldn’t even sleep without dreaming of your face, and your small giggle that he loved so much.
and that smile. that fucking smile.
merlin, he was head over for y/n y/l/n.
the last couple of weeks the pair had hung out almost every single day. at first, y/n went back to not speaking the first couple of days, but finally, neville brought up a story about how he almost fell off of the moving staircases, and she laughed and told him a similar story.
it had only been just the two of them, and neville couldn’t seem to get enough. on days when they wouldn’t hang out, he would just sit in the common room, bored out of his mind. only having thoughts of you and what you were reading the library that day.
as neville looked at his watch, he felt something poking his arm. he turned his head, and met eyes with the girl of the hour,
“oh, hey y/n.” he greeted her sweetly, a smile forming onto his face. he couldn’t help but to always smile when he was around her, he assumed it was just the comforting energy that she gave off.
“hi.” she responded shyly, still getting used to talking all the time. “your tie is messed up...”
neville furrowed his eyebrows for a moment, attempting to snap himself out of getting lost in how gentle her voice was. but he finally looked down at his tie, and chuckled nervously,
“oh, didn’t even notice. thanks,”
she smiled lightly at him, feeling warmth go to her cheeks. in the past few weeks she had gotten to know neville, she realized that she may have developed her first ever crush. she loved how he spoke, how much emotion he put into every word he uttered. and plus, he was absolutely adorable in her eyes. she started to wish that she had met him sooner. but, she also had to remind herself that neville would never fancy her. even though he wasn’t the most social himself, people still liked him. and how on earth out of all the girls that he could be with in this school, he would choose her?
it was simple. he wouldn’t.
the pair began to walk to the great hall, like they had done together almost every morning. y/n informed neville that she had in fact done some research on gillyweed,
“i think it could come in handy at some point. like, in this one poem i read, this boy was trying to find treasure at the bottom of the ocean, but it was really deep and—“
y/n looked over at neville, and noticed his eyes. she quickly stopped her rambling, “never mind. that’s dumb...”
neville almost let out an audible scoff at her words. he wanted to listen to every word she had to say for the rest of his life. “no, keep going. i’m interested!”
y/n hid her face behind her books once again, nervous to show her small smile. “it’s okay. the stuff i read isn’t that—“
“y/n.” he stopped her, and she looked up at him once more. “just keep talking.”
she reluctantly nodded, surprised at how the tone in his voice changed. but, she kept talking anyways.
as the two arrived into the great hall, y/n automatically began to walk away from neville. she hated the thought of him being seen with her, and being made fun of for it. plus, she couldn’t bring herself sit with him and his friends.
neville watched as she walked ahead of him, and he frowned. he had offered to give her a seat beside himself, dean, and seamus, but she turned it down. he had an idea of why, but that didn’t mean it bothered him any less.
“wait, y/n!”
y/n stopped on her feet, and turned her body. he walked up to her once again,
“you should sit with me today,”
the simple statement made y/n’s body tremble. no. she couldn’t. she wouldn’t.
“i don’t like seeing you sit by yourself. and, i like to think you’re my... fri—friend now.” he stuttered out, not too keen on just being her friend. “it’s only me a couple of my friends. i promise.”
y/n glanced up at him, and then at the four boys who were sitting where neville usually sat. when she looked at him again, she shook her head.
“i-i-i can’t...”
neville sighed, and pushed her books down so he could fully see her face.
“you can, y/n. i promise.”
for one moment, y/n felt as if it was just the two of them. that this great hall, they had it all to themselves. maybe they would slow dance to no music like she had read in one of her novels. maybe he would kiss her and whisper how beautiful she was in her ear.
a girl could dream.
y/n looked back at neville’s friends one more time, still terrified. but, the look on his eyes assured her that she would be okay.
“um... o—okay.”
he smiled widely at her, teeth and all. and he grabbed her bag, and started walking towards the familiar seating area. y/n sighed, mentally preparing herself for what was about to happen. she began to over think as she approached the boys. they hadn’t even noticed her yet, too busy talking about what boys talk about.
neville set her bag down on the table, and noticed harry and ron sitting with dean and seamus,
“hey guys, where’s hermione?” neville asked,
“not sure. studying for a test today or something like that. i don’t usually keep up on—“
ron had begun to answer, but when he looked up, he locked eyes with a familiar figure. his eyes went wide a bit, and he hit harry’s leg under the table. harry then looked up, and smiled at the girl.
“hey, y/n. how are you?”
y/n was a bit shocked from harry’s question, as he was one of the only few people who had ever attempted to speak to her. they shared plenty of classes together, and y/n always felt bad for him when they got paired up for an assignment.
the name rang throughout seamus and dean’s ears, and they looked up as well. she sent them a small wave, still keeping her mouth closed.
she sat down beside neville, listening in on the small chatter between the five boys. but, she decided on reading her herbology book instead. neville wasn’t going to put any pressure on her to talk to them, but he just wanted her to have some company at breakfast.
as time went by, y/n’s nerves seemed to come to a halt. she was too lost into her book to even understand what the boys were saying.
“what book is that?” seamus asked her suddenly, and she looked up at him through hooded eyes. he didn’t necessarily expect a response, but he couldn’t help but to let his curiosity take over.
she flipped the book up, showing him the front cover, “merlin, don’t tell me longbottom has gotten you into reading books about plants!”
the boys chucked, and neville scratched his neck in embarrassment. y/n simply shrugged at the irish boy, still a bit scared to respond. she then reached her hand over to grab a piece of toast, and they watched her intently as she did so. it was the most human thing that they had ever seen her do besides reading a book.
dean furrowed his eyebrows as he looked down at her wrist, “that bracelet is really cool. where’d you get it?”
neville looked over at her, seeing the way her face dropped from dean’s question. y/n looked back at him, hoping to get some sort of comfort. and of course, he provided her with just that. he nodded his head, encouraging her it seemed.
“erm...” she began, mindlessly playing with the same bracelet, “m—my mum... she m-makes them...”
seamus’s eyes practically popped out of their sockets, as well as the other three boys. she had just talked. they felt like they were looking at a blue moon,
“that’s cool! maybe you could get your mum to make one for me?” dean joked, flashing her a toothy smile. y/n smiled back at him, but quickly looked back down to hide her face.
neville nudged her side, and got closer to her ear. “i think you’re doing pretty good.”
the compliment made her cheeks warm up even worse, and the rosy color had to be visible at this point.
for the rest of breakfast, y/n didn’t read her book. she sat up, listened to the boy’s conversations. she even corrected seamus’s grammar at one point, to which he said:
“she talks once and now she’s trying to teach me how to speak!”
neville was about to kick his friend under the table, but stopped when he heard her giggle from the joke. the other boys joined in with her, and neville eventually.
y/n finally felt like she belonged somewhere. and for once, she didn’t mind not being alone.
as the school day went by, students attended their classes, y/n had never felt more happy in her whole life. and, it was noticeable from other students. she didn’t speak, but the smile on her face spoke a thousand words.
y/n skipped out potions, relived to finally be free from professor snape’s grasp. she wanted to go the library and research quidditch. all of the guys had been talking about it earlier that morning, and y/n realized that she knew absolutely nothing about it. she had never even been to a match before.
but, what y/n didn’t know, is that her day was about to change drastically:
“hey, mute!”
y/n stopped in her tracks, already recognizing the taunting voice. she chose to ignore him, though. she kept walking, but she only heard the sound of fast footsteps behind her. she then saw a familiar fluff of white hair, walk in front of her, stopping her once more.
“what are you reading? “how to properly speak?”” malfoy joked, leaning over to read the covers of her books. “oh! a quidditch book, huh? you wouldn’t happen to fancy one of the quidditch players would you now, mute?”
y/n shook her head, as that wasn’t the truth at all.
“i saw you talking to longbottom earlier, today. you guys would make a great couple. the lard and the mute... ha! quite funny, actually!”
y/n of course didn’t respond, only looked down at her feet.
“i’m quite parched, mute. how about you?” y/n looked up at him, and furrowed her eyebrows.
malfoy had always said the most random things to her. she was surprised he was even in the top rank of their class. he was a blithering idiot in her eyes.
“pumpkin juice?” he asked, but it sounded more like an offer.
and in that moment, y/n felt the feeling of liquid pouring onto her head. it began to fall down her face, onto her clothes, just everywhere on her physical body. she heard laughter from the students that had passed by.
there was silence for a moment. y/n wiped the sticky pumpkin juice out of her eyes, and from her lips as well. she narrowed her eyes at malfoy, who stood grinning in front of her as the liquid continued to drip on her.
“still parched? maybe you’ll be able to speak now, mute!” y/n heard from behind her. pansy parkinson stepped beside malfoy, and crossed her arms in triumph.
silence.
y/n didn’t move a single inch, her body still relaying in the shock from the situation. her emotions felt as if they were about to burst from her, and she felt like she could scream.
“hey, what’s going on?” dean asked his friends, tapping neville’s shoulder. the three looked down the hall, and saw a large group of students in a circle.
“maybe someone is about to fight! come on!” seamus rushed his friends, already sprinting down the hall. dean and neville followed quickly, and soon enough, they joined in the circle, pushing their way up to the front.
but what they were met with wasn’t a fight, nor a simple argument. it was something much worse.
y/n, covered head to toe in pumpkin juice.
draco and pansy stood right in front of her, taunting her. neville’s fists clenched as he put the pieces together, and he swore he thought he was about to jump on top of malfoy.
“this isn’t good...” seamus muttered to dean, and the boy nodded his head in agreement as they all continued to watch.
malfoy stepped closer to her, the smell of pumpkin filling his nostrils. “hey, at least you’ll taste nice if someone kisses you. which, is highly unlikely, but who knows?”
in that moment, y/n couldn’t swallow anymore. she couldn’t keep the words down. they were coming out whether she wanted them to or not,
“fuck. you.”
students gasped, other’s eyes widened. mute had spoken, and everyone had heard it.
a mantra of “oooo’s” left the mouths of draco’s friends, but malfoy, he was in pure disbelief. “wow! she speaks!” he laughed, still shocked. “guess all you needed was some pumpkin juice to make your mouth move, isn’t that right, mute?”
all of the anger that y/n had pent up due to malfoy was reaching the surface, and if you looked close enough, you could practically see the steam coming out of her ears.
y/n never was impulsive, nor did she ever really fight back in situations like these. but, the simple disrespect of it all had her fired up, and she wouldn’t rest until she did something about it.
“malfoy,” she began softly, and he hummed in response.
“think fast!”
before malfoy knew it, the same quidditch book collided into his face. his head fell back, and he ended up losing balance. he groaned in pain, and felt blood dripping from his nose.
students around them bursted into laughter, and y/n’s eyes widened from what she had just done. parkinson snarled at the girl, attempting to help the blonde up. y/n giggled when she saw the blood pouring from his nose, and malfoy caught it.
“you think this is funny?!” he yelled, stepping closer to her once more, and y/n suddenly noticed mcgonagall rushing over towards the large group. she began to dash away, pumpkin juice and all still stuck to her body. malfoy continued to yell vile things at her, making sure to ensure that she would regret this day.
y/n sprinted through the halls, and finally settled on hiding in a prefect bathroom.
she quickly found herself standing in front of a mirror, staring at herself. she let out a small chuckle from how she looked, the pumpkin juice still prominent.
usually in scenarios like this, y/n would run and hide away in the library to cry. but, not this time. as a matter of fact, there wasn’t an inch of her that had the desire to cry. if anything, she felt... happy.
she had finally stood up for herself. it may have been in an impulsive, immature way, but, she still did it. and in her eyes, that’s all that truly mattered.
y/n began to clean her face off, hissing as the paper towel rubbed on her dried skin. she cursed draco malfoy’s name as she attempted to get the sticky liquid out of her eyebrows. because yes, the pumpkin juice had gotten stuck in them.
“y/n?”
the voice made y/n jump, and she turned around to see who it was.
“oh... hi, neville.”
he smiled at her, relieved that she was still talking.
“i didn’t mean to scare you. i just—i saw what happened... and was worried about you.”
y/n couldn’t help but to blush from his kindness. he had been worried about her? no one had ever let the thought cross their mind that she might be in some sort of trouble, but alas... neville longbottom was different.
“it’s fine... thank you.”
she turned back around, and began once more to clean her face off. neville stood at the entrance awkwardly, not really knowing what he should do.
“um...” he started, glancing around at the bathroom. “i want to help, but... i’m not too sure if i’m even allowed to be in here.”
y/n looked at his reflection through the mirror, and giggled slightly. “you can come in. no one else is in here.”
neville nodded, but mentally, he was trying to hide the fact that her voice was taking such an affect on him. it had been that way ever since she had first spoken to him. he couldn’t get over how fragile her voice was. how sweet she sounded when she spoke. and the look in her eyes... it was all but pure innocence. and, neville loved every bit of it.
he stepped inside, and slowly made his way over to her. he watched for a moment as she wiped her face off, attempting to take in her pumpkin juice covered features.
“are you alright?” he asked suddenly, and y/n looked over at him with furrowed eyebrows.
“yeah, why wouldn’t i be?”
neville had to stop himself from letting out a sigh of relief,
“well, what malfoy did was really... mean. i just wanted to make sure you were—“
“neville,” she quickly cut him off, “i’m fine. i promise.”
she shot him a shy smile, and tossed the paper towel in the trash bin. she then grabbed another one, continuing once more.
“here...” he whispered, reaching his hand out towards the paper towel, “let me help.”
she reluctantly nodded, nervous to even think about the fact that his hands would be so close to her face. she handed him the paper towel, and to her surprise, he wet the towel under the sink.
“i didn’t even think about doing that...” she admitted, and she clenched her teeth together out of embarrassment.
he chuckled, and began to wipe her face off gently.
y/n felt herself getting lost into the boy’s facial features. his small freckles, his perfectly contorted nose, the way his lips parted a bit as he focused in on her face.
“here, lift up,” he requested, taking her chin in between his fingers, and lifting her head up slightly. the contact made her heart being to beat at an unmeasurable pace, and she swore that he could see how red she was becoming.
“what you did was pretty awesome. i told you that you could do it.”
she smiled at him, “well, i probably wouldn’t have been able to do it without you.”
“why’s that? i didn’t do anything.”
y/n shrugged, “well... you’ve helped me... with... a lot, i think. so... thank you.”
neville stopped wiping her face,
“no problem.”
he then threw the towel away, but, didn’t seem to step away from y/n. it seemed as if he had only gotten closer to her, without even realizing it. he looked down at her, his tall figure seeming to completely tower over her.
he stared at her face, and he couldn’t even believe how beautiful she was.
“you got some... on your lip...” he informed her.
“oh...” she went to reach her hand up to wipe it off, but neville’s hand seemed to come up way faster.
before she knew it, his thumb was gliding over her lips slowly, and her breath hitched when she realized what was happening. neville seemed to realize what he had done as well, because he stopped just a few moments after he had started. but, his thumb never left her bottom lip.
y/n gulped, staring into his endless eyes. she had so many emotions going through her body at that moment, she didn’t even know how to react. all she knew, is that she wanted one thing.
neville seemed to see right through her, and honestly, he wanted the same thing. so, as his thumb remained stuck to her bottom lip, their faces began to slowly move closer towards each other. y/n could feel her breathing become unsteady as it happed. but, her anxiety wasn’t stopping her anymore.
their lips collided, and neville finally moved his thumb, but his hand came up to the side of her neck. the kiss carried so much innocence, but so much desire all at the same time. y/n had never had her first kiss, but merlin, she knew that this would probably be the best once she would ever receive in her whole life.
when they finally pulled away, the two were breathless. but, they still couldn’t seem to pull their eyes away from each other.
neville knew, all in that moment, she was perfect for him. the kiss was simply a confirmation.
“your lips taste nice...”
tags: @cc12-02 @mysticlights-blog @sugukui
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upthehillask · 3 years ago
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Answering an anonymous ask that was sent to my main:
Hey, hope you’re doing well. Just saw the post you made on discussion abt pansmione. I want to say I am incredibly amazed and proud of how much you’ve educated yourself on the matter then before (not saying that you weren’t as educated before but I can definitely see the reflection and a difference in opinion then back then). I wanted to ask you abt your opinion if you don’t mind, it’s about a post you made on 2016 on how you found it a bit hypocritical that most people that hate on dramione are drarry’s. I want to know if you’ve got a different view on that too?
in my opinion drarry is more of a enemies to lovers while dramione is more of a loving an oppressor. while both Harry and Hermione were bullied by draco, never once has draco expressed that he saw Harry as anything lesser than him. Unlike dramione where he called her a wizarding equivalent of a slur, could be quite problematic and quite frankly degrading, because I believe the main issue with drarry is just two frustrated teens angry at each other (one more than the other) dramione is just plain prejudice. I do get the argument that he was raised that way, his parents thought him that, it’s a story of redemption. but isn’t it degrading for Hermione to accept someone who at one point in her life thought her as less deserving of the rights he’s got (especially if he’s had these prejudice behaviors until he was old enough to distinguish between what’s right or wrong)? Wouldn’t a more satisfying redemption be forgiveness? Why should she get with him in order for him to be redeemed? Sure we could say love redeems all, but is there a line to draw?
Obviously I don’t think your opinion or anyone else’s is wrong, but as a POC myself who’s been bullied over something I’ve got no control over, I find it degrading to forget and accept. Sure I would be able to forgive, but I’ll never be able to live with myself if I were to accept the person who once caused me trauma as a lifelong partner. I would accept them as an acquaintance, maybe a friend but never someone I could rely on for my future, knowing that my kid could also go through that same experiences I’ve went through (no matter how smart and changed he is or how strong and mature I am).
I do know that there’s a lot of POC that love the idea of dramione (which quite frankly I don’t understand, I would love to tho!) and I’m not saying that they are wrong for doing that, it’s just that i cannot begin to fathom how one could just ignore and change a character with acceptance (again, not shaming anyone or their morality). Now this isn’t as the same intensity as actual racism but it hit so close to home to me. I hope you get my point on why drarry could be more widely accepted then dramione is. Don’t mean any offense to you or any other shippers. You’re honestly amazing, keep doing what you’re doing! (Ps sorry if this post sounded like a trauma dumping, also the long ass essay, didn’t mean for that to happen hahaha)
First of all, thank you so much for taking the time to share your personal thoughts and experience! I appreciate your question and your own reflection on the matter!
Now, I don’t know to which extent I’ll be able to answer your questions fully. Point being, I do not ship Dramione anymore. I shipped them in 2015-2017, it was the first fanon ship that I truly fell in love with and it’s the reason I decided to draw fanart, so naturally it IS a ship that holds a lot of meaning for me to this day, at least in terms of nostalgia and gratitude. However, if I were to be honest, the reason I sort of “grew out” of Dramione is more or less what you yourself described. My early 20s were a very transformative time, and as I matured and learned more about myself and my values, my feelings towards Dramione just changed organically. It wasn’t rational, it wasn’t intentional, I just literally “grew out” of it (This may sound as if I’m implying that this ship is something to be grown out of, and that is NOT what I’m intending to communicate. I am referring to my experience ONLY, and this is how it felt to me personally).
As I’m reflecting upon my 19yo self, I am realizing that a lot of what changed within me since then is breaking down my internalized misogyny. Because, at least in my journey specifically, that is partly what allowed me to be drawn to Dramione. In my opinion, the dynamic or trope that Dramione tends to often represent is: “the love of a selfless woman will save/fix a bad man.” Back then, I did find this trope empowering and poetic - to this day I do understand how it can be. However, later I started learning more about social issues and eventually realized that this kind of trope does not stand well in the context of our patriarchy as we have it. The more I liberated myself from my internalized misogyny, the less passionate I felt about Dramione. Can’t stop thinking that those were related.. :) Again, in my case specifically.
I read my old posts about why I ship Dramione that you are likely referring to, and I do still stand by my choices and thoughts because I know that, at that time, I felt all of that very strongly. Those themes of challenge and breaking down prejudice felt meaningful and enriching and made sense, and I think it’s okay for me to have enjoyed that. But the way I envision the characters shifted a bit with time, and now, the Hermione that I imagine today would NOT get with the Draco that I imagine today.
I always viewed Hermione as a feminist icon, and in the past, she was feminist to me in her power to teach a person out of their bias as well as learn to overcome her own bias too and find love in those challenging circumstances. To me, it seemed like getting closer to Draco was an opportunity for Hermione to actually RECLAIM her power, because Draco was now “at her mercy” in a sense, she had influence on him, and that’s how she could heal her own wounds and also help Draco in the process of shared vulnerability. On the other hand, in my current feminist version of her, she WOULD find it degrading to be attracted to some white skinny ass prejudiced slug (lol) who hurt her so much, even if he’s a better person now. So I agree with you! I think she’s capable of forgiveness if Draco has earned it (by himself, that is - it’s not a woman’s job to teach a man how not to be an awful person lol), and I mean, if she falls in love with him AFTER that fact, sure, absolutely! But the tropes where caring comes first and redemption second I no longer find tasteful enough for my liking. Doesn’t mean they can’t be done well! They can! But it’s not for me anymore. Nor is Dramione in general. Your struggles that you described - not being able to fully look past the bullying in order to be able to love and rely on that person - I hear that and I think that Hermione (my version of her) would feel the same way.
Can’t say whether there should be an actual line drawn, as I said, I think that even a trope that can ring a bit sexist in todays’ society can be approached with care and value; who am I to take that away from someone, you know? Like, I don’t regret liking Dramione and I’m happy I went through that time of my life, it was of great value to me. So everyone deserves to experience that in whatever way they’re given. But it’s also okay to change beliefs and move on! And I’m glad I got to do that too.
I don’t think I have much to contribute if we’re also bringing (real) racism into the picture, what you shared is great and makes sense; each person of color will have a unique experience and a unique relation to a certain ship, like Dramione. Many POC enjoy it, many don’t - seems like it’s more individual than it is universal. Maybe some of those people will eventually change how they feel about this ship, and maybe they won’t! And that’s ok :) Just because something doesn’t make sense to you or me, doesn’t mean it doesn’t have the capacity to be profound (and I know that as someone who experienced both loving AND not loving Dramione).
When it comes to comparing Dramione and Drarry - I do agree with the points you made! Throughout the years, I’ve always seen people discussing the difference in power dynamics between Drarry and Dramione, and I think those arguments are pretty accurate. Again, doesn’t mean one is inherently better than the other, but yes, they’re different, I acknowledge that!
Hopefully all of this answered your questions? :)
EDIT: Oh also, I do however love, say, Pansmione, and I understand how this ship can be seen as just a lesbian version of Dramione in terms of its “history,” and the fact that I love it does show that I still enjoy this kind of complicated dynamic... I feel like Pansy and Hermione are more on even level as opposed to her and Draco, but idk why I feel that way? Maybe nothing in the books supports it, maybe it’s only because they’re both girls, in which case, I kinda get it because patriarchy but also kinda yikes? So yeah, that’s a WHOLE other thing, and I should definitely continue reflecting on it!
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destinyc1020 · 3 years ago
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I don't know who that blind is about or if it's even true but it actually fits Tom *cough* spideytea *cough* but it also fits Sebastian Stan (some of his fans are... a lot) and I would also say it def fits Harry styles (his fans are actually worse than toms I think) but I don't know if they'd refer to him as an actor plus he hasn't worked with many studios
Yea, I agree. 💯
Some stans go way too far sometimes, and some actually make up blatant, negative LIES about some celebrities and publish it as fact. 🥴 It's one thing to speculate, or post your opinion about what you think or feel, but it's a TOTALLY different thing altogether to be pretending like you know Tom (or Zendaya) personally, or know ppl close to them, and are spilling all this negative rhetoric 24/7 about them. 🥴
Idk who the blind item is about tbh (or if it's about multiple celebrities being fed up), but it's def shedding the light on a growing problem imo. 🤷🏾‍♀️
And then some fans wonder why their faves don't post as much on social media anymore. 🙄
In the past, Zendaya has often spoken out in a classy way when some fans would come for her on Twitter. I especially recall a very classy response back that she gave a fan on Twitter who was making fun of how her parents look (of all things!!! 🤨). But she kept it classy and told them off in a queen-like way.
https://people.com/tv/zendaya-shuts-down-cyber-bullies-who-called-her-parents-ugly/
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Now days, she doesn't even bother anymore to respond back to negativity (maybe it bothers her anxiety or her spirit, or maybe she realized there's just no use). 🤷🏾‍♀️ Many celebrities go the route of no comment, because sometimes "clapping back" and responding to things only breathes more life into the story and keeps ppl talking about it longer. So I can understand why some prefer to go the "silent" route. 🤐
Ironically, I have often hoped that Tom would one day speak up and speak out a bit about some of the segments of his fandom that can be toxic, cruel, and possessive. I just know he has a ton of things to say lol. Sometimes fans need to be put in their place when they overtly cross the line.... For example: Those who constantly make fun of him all the time for silly things, those who nitpick and bash his role choices, those who embarrassed him and disrespected his friends and fellow Marvel colleagues at a comic-con in front of a large live audience, those who routinely disrespect, ignore, and refuse to accept his girlfriend Zendaya who he loves and has been dating for over 3 years now, etc.... Like some fans are just too much! 😤😒
I wish Tom would at least speak to some of the toxicity of fans one day (just ONCE), and just let his fans know how he feels about those sorts of things. Even just speaking out ONCE would "set the tone" imo, because some fans just feel like Tom is a nice guy, so they think they can say whatever mean things about him and they go too far. I feel it would do some good for him to speak on it (imo). But I know he usually doesn’t put himself in any confrontation, and probably doesn’t like anyone hating him. (Who does??) 
Don't get me wrong, Tom has some really GREAT and wonderful fans! There are just a small outlier of fans who are questionable imo. Thankfully, they are not the majority. It's just that the negative minority usually make more noise than the overwhelming positive majority at times. 🥴
With that said, I actually feel like one day he may speak up if things get too crazy in the fandom. Idk if anyone has noticed, but he doesn't seem to feel the need to be posting all the time anymore, esp like he was back during the lockdown lol 😆 Maybe he was just bored hahaha 😅.... Plus he has been really busy back to back with films. But it could also be that he's just growing up, and he doesn't feel the need to be posting all the time for fans. He used to apologize when he wasn't posting for a while, but now I feel like he doesn't feel the need to... which is good! He's often said that he wanted to take breaks from social media anyway. I think it can become toxic and be a bit mentally and emotionally draining at times. 😔😓 I can't even imagine how it must feel if you're a celebrity. It might even be a turnoff at times.
If you heard how Tom spoke about social media during the Onward press tour, then you'll know what I'm talking about. Granted, part of his comments could have also been due to what he was going through during that time (Jacdaya/NYC 👀), but I think he's just learning to have a bit more of a balance in how he views social media. 🤷🏾‍♀️
Anyway sorry for my long rant and dissertation (I really have to work on making my posts SHORTER 🙈), but this topic was just very close to my heart, and I felt like I had to get some things off my chest.
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sagestupidity · 4 years ago
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Upcoming long-ass post ahead. Warning you now. It goes deep and it is long. There is a lot of personal information, but I wanted to get it out there for pride month. There is a tl;dr at the end. If tumblr mobile allowed for a page break like the old days, I'd use it now
Tw: homophobia, religious bigotry, sexuality, biphobia
I remember the first time I heard about homosexuality. I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, at daycare, in a tree house with 2 other kids my age. They had just learned a new word and were throwing it around every other sentence that day. Lesbian. "What, are you a lesbian?", "so and so is a lesbian hahaha" "only a lesbian would say something like that". I had no idea what this word meant, I was a sheltered 8 or 9 year old. These daycare friends explained what it meant. "It's when girls like other girls, like boyfriend and girlfriend, but they're both girls". For a half second, my world was rocked. I had no idea that was something someone could do. That was a option? 🎆. Before I could even think about it further, the next sentence came out of their mouth "that's so gross, right?". Well shit, they were explaining it to me, they must have been the expert. "Yeah, that's so gross". I couldn't possibly be a lesbian, I'm not gross, I'm Megan, I like bubble baths and art and fairytale stories of princes and princesses. I'm not gross, and therefore definitely not a lesbian.
When I got a bit older about ages 10-12, my parent's signed me up for a week of vacation Bible school out in Pine Idaho every summer. For most of those summers, I went with my mom's boss's granddaughter who was about my age. Her name was Alex. She was super cool and a nice friend. Very much a typical tom boy. Had a bionicle collection, wore a lot of sporty clothes, even got some of her clothes from the boy section. I was sooo jealous of how cool Alex was. But whenever I was shopping with my mom, and tried to pick out less feminine items, I'd get lectured "that's for boys Megan, you can't have that, it's weird that you like this, Megan". no matter how much I liked it, how much I thought about how Alex was allowed to branch out like that. Why couldn't I?
From then to grade 7, I was in my femme bubble. I wore a ton of pink, because I looked up to Elle Woods from legally blonde. I'd have an occasional crush on the class emo. Loving long hair and eyeliner on guys, but otherwise despising everyone else in middle school because i was getting bullied mercilessly. I reclused into books and movies, like Harry Potter and Pirates of the Caribbean
I was transfered to Idaho arts charter school. Where the girl to boy ratio was about 7 to 1. We had no sport program besides competitive dance. My family started going to a WELS lutheran church, and for a while, none of this conflicted. Little did I notice, that my church and my upbringing were compiling into some bad homophobia on my part. I was taught that gay people were against God and were going to hell. Gay people were "gross" after all. I was told by my own parents that if I *became* a lesbian, they'd drag me to the pastor's house and have an exorcism performed on me. The idea of even kissing a girl with romantic intent made my stomach flip and my chest hurt. That's just proof of how disgusting and wrong it is... right?
But being in a school dedicated to the performing arts eventually caught up with that. Sure there were gay kids at my school. Our main export was musical theater and dance. But I wasn't friends with any of them, so it was fine. Until someone from my friend group came out. For his privacy, I'll call him A, since I still know people that know him IRL. I had been friends with A for a while before he came out as gay. I wouldn't say we were close, but I'd say we were friends. When he did come out as gay, it was like a dumb homophobic light went out. A wasn't any different just because he was gay, he was still my friend, and nothing changed except my worldview.
Nothing.else.changed.
Whenever I brought A up when telling a story to my parents, they'd interrupt with "you mean the friend that's going to hell" as if that was his name and they were correcting me now that he was an out gay teen. I dug my heels in and became a gay ally for my friend, A. Delving into gay rights as a special interest.
By the time I was 16, I was approaching the next metaphorical hurdle. I noticed I didn't really have any crushes... on anyone. I had friends. I liked fictional characters from books and anime and the occasional celeb. I just thought I had high standards for boys I would date. But I couldn't like girls. What would that even look like? It was pre 2010. The only girls into girls I ever saw were on posters in boy's rooms, or straight girls kissing to get male attention. It took a lot of work to realize God didn't hate gay people and even more work to realize that that could apply to me too. I came out as bi to only my friends at age 17.
I graduated, went off to college. Got a dorm mate, who we will call M. M was also bi, and she had the experience to back it up, supposedly. More experience than me, who hadn't really dated anyone at all. M somehow forced me back in the closet. She insisted I wasn't bi because I had never dated or kissed or anything with a woman. I had just barely had my first kiss with anyone that summer. I was only "bicurious" because how could I possibly know until I finally had experience like she did. So I shrunk myself, and only saw boys, because they gave me attention. Girls only saw me as straight, because I wasn't bi, I was "bicurious".
It took a lot of work to bust out of the bi closet a second time.
I lived my life as a bi woman. Constantly changing my spot on the kinsey scale until these past 7 years or so. I made a realization.
I don't really like guys. I'd sleep with them. I appreciated the validation I felt when I did. But I didn't really like them.
So I juggled with the queer label. Because my sexuality was complicated. Sure, I'd sleep guys, didn't mean I was attracted to them, it's not like it meant anything.
Any time I tried on the lesbian label, I'd get yelled at by a lesbian for being biphobic. They'd say stuff like "lesbians don't like guys", "stop bring men into lesbianism" "lesbians don't want to sleep with guys". No amount of me explaining that I don't like men would convince them. So back to the queer label I went.
I got married to a woman in 2019. And was content with the queer label.
But this year, 2021-
I started reading The Lesbian Document™. Learning that my occasional crush on a male celeb didn't really count as attraction to men.(sorry Bo Burnham).
I made a bit of a realization. I knew I didn't really like men, I was just ok with the idea of sleeping with them. But the idea of being with men felt similar to binge drinking.
They were both
Easily accessible
Toxic
Dangerous/thrilling
Coping mechanisms for deeper issues
I realized I was using the idea of sex with men as self harm, and I should probably stop that.
To wrap up this whole long-ass biography- I'm coming out a third time.
My name is Megan.
I'm 28 years old.
My pronouns are she/they.
And I'm a lesbian.
tl;dr:
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chuchiotaku · 4 years ago
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Welcome back! You made me worried for this wait, you know? But now that a new chapter of the saga is here, time to go crazy and pesting you with my thoughts.
Ok, first of all, it's so good seeing Sirius and Remus again! Last time Ron saw them was in... way less pleasable moments, but I'm hapoy they are back in the story, and I hope they will spend more time around Ronal too. (Expecially Sirius. I always thought there was a more, let's say, deep connection between those two than the original author let us see, with Ron being basically Harry's James. But Remus has always been a favourite of mine so if he grow closer to Ron too, I won't complain at all.)
Finally, Ron remembered to ask Charlie about his wand! For a moment I thought that he forgot abou it! (I gotta be honest, in the last chapters I noticed that you tended to jump between moments a lot, and while I like it and give more mistery on what is happening, an excess of it is really confusing. I hope next chapters will have less time jumping or my head will explode xD) And good thing that he's starting to investigate about the Deluminator too! How does it work? What are its limitation? How much is similar to Dumbledoor's one, and why Death gave him specifically it as an Hallow? Soooo many questions... I hope Ronald's habit to ask the right question will come back.
Shame Charlie and Bill haven't heard of the troll incident (yet), but I'm sure the dragon incident will give those two enough stress, so I'll just wait to see their reaction to the new adventure of their little, problematic child!
Finally Hermione is making friends, and even outside Gryffindor too! Sue is such a sweety pie, she's so darn cute, and even the new professor, Imothep, looks like a great guy! (Why can't the lecturers teach the subjects on full time??? That's bloody unfair), I wonder if you intend to use him when in the third year the Weasley's will go to Egypth, sure, if you'll still keep that plotpoint...
Also, F*CK YEAH, DAPHNE TIME. Still an ice queen, but at least she was nice with Neville, and her interaction with Ron show how much she has a burning fire inside that aphatetic facade, it's just a matter of time before that crumbles too (I can't help it, I love the "rich blonde girl befriend normal kid and she becomes more rowdy and passionate" trope). Also, I wonder why she is so obsessed with potions... hm... wonder if that has something to do with Astoria's situation...
Or maybe she's just really, really into potions. Probably the latter.
And lastly, the Quidditch game. Not only he was really cunning and convinced the ferret to do a bet that was already won, but he even used that little 'pureblood speech' on boot! (It's my headcanon that the way he refered to the others he copied from Daphne and Neville's interaction, know it.) But... so now Malfoy won't bother them for the whole year? Isn't that... like a big change? I mean this time they won't have him on their neck while sneaking Norberta out the castle, but in so Harry won't go in the Forbidden Forest, won't have the first head on with Tom, and he won't even meet Firenze! I mean in the big scheme of things it's not really much, but.. I don't know, it feels like a big deal...
...oh wait this is if the ferret honors his word. My bad I made a mistake.
In the end, great chapter. Reading your works is always one of the highlights of my day, and for the timezones, it's always the first thing I read in the morning. I'll wait the next chapter with trepidation! (Possibly we won't have to wait three months this time xD)
Keep it going, and at the next time! Ah, and stay safe too!
Hey there! I’m happy to be back! :) Even though I tend to disappear for a long while before coming back again. Hahaha!
* Ok, first of all, it's so good seeing Sirius and Remus again! Last time Ron saw them was in... way less pleasable moments, but I'm hapoy they are back in the story, and I hope they will spend more time around Ronal too. (Expecially Sirius. I always thought there was a more, let's say, deep connection between those two than the original author let us see, with Ron being basically Harry's James. But Remus has always been a favourite of mine so if he grow closer to Ron too, I won't complain at all.)*
It was only when you mentioned that Ron is essentially Harry’s James that I realized their similarities, especially regarding how they gave Harry and Sirius their second homes and were loyal friends to the end. You just gave me an idea!  Thanks for this comment! And it would be nice if Ron will become closer to Sirius and Remus, just like in Fate. But how that will come about, we’ll just have to see.
*Finally, Ron remembered to ask Charlie about his wand! For a moment I thought that he forgot abou it! (I gotta be honest, in the last chapters I noticed that you tended to jump between moments a lot, and while I like it and give more mistery on what is happening, an excess of it is really confusing. I hope next chapters will have less time jumping or my head will explode xD)*
Apologies for the confusion. It’s my way of keeping readers on their toes, since they won’t know when the next plot point will be resolved. And there will be a good number of those between chapters and even between books, because just like in the real world, life is messy, unpredictable and complicated. That’s why prioritizing is important.
But even then, that’s not a guarantee things will go smoothly. If you’re confused reading about it, can you imagine how it is for Ron who has to live through my writing? XD
* Shame Charlie and Bill haven't heard of the troll incident (yet), but I'm sure the dragon incident will give those two enough stress, so I'll just wait to see their reaction to the new adventure of their little, problematic child!*
Oh they will hear about it, but probably not when you think they will. And as for the dragon incident, well, it’s in the next chapter. Now how will I reconcile the fact that Charlie’s reaction was pretty (unrealisitcally IMO) chill in the books with the fact that he’s a protective hellion over Ronnie in TBA? Hmm...
* Finally Hermione is making friends, and even outside Gryffindor too! Sue is such a sweety pie, she's so darn cute, and even the new professor, Imothep, looks like a great guy! (Why can't the lecturers teach the subjects on full time??? That's bloody unfair), I wonder if you intend to use him when in the third year the Weasley's will go to Egypth, sure, if you'll still keep that plotpoint...*
It’s a shame that canon Hermione didn’t grow out of her shell enough to make real friends outside of the Golden Trio’s comfort zone. Actually, that goes for all three of them. But at least she’s got Sue and Penny, and her Arithmancy homework. Yay!
Will Imhotep be in Egypt come POA year? Will there even be an Egypt arc? So many things to think about.
At least we know the Basilisk is still a thing, eh? :D
*Also, F*CK YEAH, DAPHNE TIME. Still an ice queen, but at least she was nice with Neville, and her interaction with Ron show how much she has a burning fire inside that aphatetic facade, it's just a matter of time before that crumbles too (I can't help it, I love the "rich blonde girl befriend normal kid and she becomes more rowdy and passionate" trope). Also, I wonder why she is so obsessed with potions... hm... wonder if that has something to do with Astoria's situation...Or maybe she's just really, really into potions. Probably the latter.*
Daphne is usually fitted into either the Ice Queen or the Spoiled Princess trope (even a combination of both). As for her love for Potions, I’ll say that she as an aptitude for it and leave it at that for now.
And as for the Astoria situation, do I ever have plans for her too. :)
*And lastly, the Quidditch game. Not only he was really cunning and convinced the ferret to do a bet that was already won, but he even used that little 'pureblood speech' on boot! (It's my headcanon that the way he refered to the others he copied from Daphne and Neville's interaction, know it.)*
Since the whole Noble House business has been bothering him so much even after the trial, Ron just went, why the heck not?
Now if that is something that will bite Ron in the arse later on, who knows?
*But... so now Malfoy won't bother them for the whole year? Isn't that... like a big change? I mean this time they won't have him on their neck while sneaking Norberta out the castle, but in so Harry won't go in the Forbidden Forest, won't have the first head on with Tom, and he won't even meet Firenze! I mean in the big scheme of things it's not really much, but.. I don't know, it feels like a big deal......oh wait this is if the ferret honors his word. My bad I made a mistake.*
Oh, I don’t know. Just because Malfoy wouldn’t be bullying or harassing them directly doesn’t mean that he’ll really leave them alone. Malfoy was put under Slytherin for a reason, and I think it’s just right he proved in TBA exactly why.
*In the end, great chapter. Reading your works is always one of the highlights of my day, and for the timezones, it's always the first thing I read in the morning. I'll wait the next chapter with trepidation! (Possibly we won't have to wait three months this time xD)Keep it going, and at the next time! Ah, and stay safe too!*
Aww thank you so much! I also love reading your asks, replies and your fanart! All this is so very sweet of you! Stay safe and see you in the next chapter of TBA! 
Chuchi
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mollysfoundfamily · 4 years ago
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where's part 2 of Mff (molly found family) halloween?
Right here right now on spoopy day itself!!
Ramsey decided too put on a little haunted house for the neighborhood kids. And an actually scary one too!! He got Zora to age the house into a creepy shack and everything!!  He painted himself like a zombie and used his gold healing ability to detach his limbs and have them scurry around and grab at the kids!!! But the Piece de resistance has to be the ugly screaming statue Head you have to brave in order to get candy at the end. But they’re full sized candy bars and you can take as many as your brave enough to grab so it’s so worth it!! 
Except for these few extra stubborn kids who seem to refuse to get scared (some kids from Molly’s class specifically Stink) normally he would take that as a compliment but they keep taking all the candy before the others!! Looks like he’s gonna have to use more drastic measures...
Mera and indus decide to go trick or treating because neither of them really got to do when they were little but if anyone asks it’s for kids in the hospital mera was one of those kids so she knows it’ll work!!
But Indus Is still kinda new to Halloween and still can’t tell what exactly are people in costumes and what are real ghouls!!! The elders back home used to tell spooky stories about this time of year how evil spirits like werewolves and vampires would haunt the earth!! And he’s still a little spooked
And by a little every time an even remotely scary looking costume gets near her he screams grabs lady Mera and barriers who ever it is as hard as he can!  Zora seems to be pretty superstitious too Ramsey offered to let her help with the haunted house but as tempting as traumatizing children is she has other plans.....
Meanwhile mera is getting pretty fed up with Indus’s freak outs and is seriously considering calling the whole thing off if he can’t get the idea that there are no real monsters threw his thick skull!!  indus feels really really bad for ruining Halloween for her and decided to give her some space for a minute and goes off the eat sad candy in the woods. When he hears a weird rustling in the bushes....
Indus: hello is anyone AHH WEREWOLF!!!!- wait oh ho ho that is a very god costume my friend but I will not be fooled again my lady explained that werewolves are not- hey HEY THAT CANDY IS FOR MY LADY STOP!!!!  mera begins begins to feel kinda bad for scolding Indus and goes to find him (and all their candy) when she hears a weird howling sound!!
Mera: Indus... come on quit messing around...I sorry I got mad... please come out.... AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Something big and Harry  razor sharp claws and fangs comes charging out of the bushes at her knocking her to the ground.... and covers her with puppy kisses as she giggles uncontrollably!!! 
Mera: No!! No!! Hahaha!!! Stop!! Stop!! It tickles!!! Hahaha!!!!!!.... *notices the big goofy puppy smile and the markings on the beast that look just like Indus’s tattoos*... are you serious. 
Indus is apparently a WereDog now.  all things considered he’s honestly not that different he still does whatever she wants sit, lay down, roll over, the whole nine yards. His barking is just as loud as his battle cries and he can still somehow use his epithet.  He immediately lays down bully rubs and good pets from his lady she’s kind hesitant because HOLY SHIT HER BOYFRIEND IS A WEREWOLF. But how can she resist that cute little puppy face!!!!! He’s so fluffy and warm too!!! His tail wags uncontrollably as she does!!! Mera can’t help but AWWWW!!!! She could get used to this  Meanwhile Zora’s been busy tracking down the werewolf number one and is hot on his trail... “there you are big boy” 
A bullet suddenly wizzes out of the bushes and grazes Indus’s fur!!! He yowls in pain as the sliver blisters his skin before grabbing mera by the collar and dashing out as fast as he can!!!!!  zora immediately gives chase not realizing it’s actually Indus!!! They both stampede throw the neighborhood bullets flying kids screaming!!! And Mera just trying not To get dropped!!!! They run into a grave yard and Zora gets a little idea..... 
While all this is going on ramsey has been spending the whole night just trying to scare these unscareable kids but nothings working!!!! It’s been driving him nuts and he’s about ready to give up when something starts coming towards them in the distance 
Upon closer inspection he finds it to be a giant werewolf and a cat girl fighting off a pack of recently resurrected cowboy zombies.... NOPE. He pulls the kids in a closed the door!! They slam into it over and over from the battle threading to tear right through!! The fighting breaks down a section of the wall trapping them on some spot!! The kids are freaking out and cry screaming!!!  He was scared to use them at first but some of percy must have been rubbing off on him because he actives his new shape changing powers (see some of my other Headcannons) and turns into a giant gold half man half rat monster and tackles the creatures on the other side!!!!! It’s a beautiful horrible display of terror and the kids have peed their pants watching it.  suddenly gun shots ring out silencing everything and seconds later Indus starts to revert back to normal Ramsey suddenly realized who does fighting and shrinks down too the zombies all fall away and return to dust.... 
“Got im!!” Zora comes out of the woods with the body of an unconscious naked old wolf lookin dude over her shoulder and a smoking gun.  apparently it wasn’t a real werewolf it was a guy with the EPITHET werewolf that could temporarily turn anyone else into one with a bite! He had quite the bounty on his head and she had been hunting him for weeks and he bit Indus to try and through her off!!  Her and Ramsey both apologize profusely to Indus and even more to mera for sweeping her up in all that.
The kids tell Ramsey that was the scariest thing they ever say but now flinch away when he tries to give them the candy and then run away screaming... “okay okay.”  Zora: gotta say that was pretty impressive rat man... looks like I won’t have to go so easy on yah from now on... 
they then all agree that there are absolutely not real monsters of any kind in the world and decide the spent their denial  by eating Halloween candy untill they’re sick!! 
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kimmy-writes · 4 years ago
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Why do you ship Jamione? What way does this crack ship appeals to you? I wanna know please.
Hmmm I have several reasons why I ship this, anon. When I first entered the HP fandom in the early 2000′s, I gravitated towards the more famous ships (ex: Dramione, Hinny) and was amazed by how creative writers are. I’ve read a lot of contents in those ships and predictably, as I grew older, my interests in these more famous ships started to dwindle and I started snooping around in search of other potential characters to read on. 
Which brings me to my first reason: James Potter. I think his character has so much potential to be fleshed out. I tend to get super curious of minor characters, especially if they were involved in scenes that made an impact on me. One of which was the infamous Snape’s worst memory, in which James was portrayed as the bully. So I got thinking, ‘Why the hell is this person Harry Potter’s father???’ Sirius and Remus talked to James like he’s some kind-hearted celebrated hero, which kinda contradicts his character in Snape’s memory. Granted, Snape hated his guts so he’s biased as hell and his memory of that time might be distorted; still, it got me curious. And so, I started reading about him through various fics - mostly Jily ones. That’s when I realized building James’ character has so much potential. 
My second reason: I’m trash for time travelling fics. I know, I know, too stupidly cliche but yep that’s me. I love characters going back in time, changing the timeline and shite, and making everybody happy in the end. There are some endings in the canon I cannot accept, so time travel fix-its are usually my go to fics just to soothe my sad, sad soul. I usually read more Jamione time travel fics instead of the older man/younger woman Jamione fanfics because of this reason alone lol 
Third reason: I’m familiar with Hermione. I’ve been writing Hermione’s character since I’ve started in this fandom. I genuinely like Hermione’s character in the canon even though she gets some flak from people because of numerous reasons. I have nothing against canon Ron/Hermione, but I really just don’t ship them together and I tend to pair Hermione with other people hehe 
Fourth reason: There are really, really good Jamione stories out there. They’re legit treasures I swear, especially because this ship isn’t as popular as the go-to Hermione/Sirius or Hermione/Remus ships. I still physically weep at how abysmal the fics under this ship are 
Fifth reason: This ship interests me so much and I’m happy writing/reading about them. Although technically a minor character, James’ role in the HP universe is tremendous because obviously, without him, Harry Potter will be nonexistent. Therefore, this poses a huge dilemma of pairing James with other characters than Lily - if there’s no Harry Potter, then the main hero of this whole series won’t exist. Hence, there is so much potential wringing out creative juices from lovely authors just to make James x not Lily ship believable, and, at the same time acceptable. 
Sixth and last reason: as the title of my tumblr implies I’m a hoe for rare pair ships. I grew tired of the usual and I wanted to read something new hahaha. To be honest with you, James/Hermione aren’t the new, crack-ish ships I’m reading right now. 
So yes, anon, I completely understand why people deem this ship crack-ish. The first time I saw people writing fics of pairing Hermione with James, I was like ‘whaaaaaaaaaat?’. But reading/writing James x Hermione fics genuinely makes me happy right now, especially amidst a pandemic and the terrible super typhoons that are currently devastating my country. I could go on and on about why I love this ship but it’s 2:30 am and I really need to sleep 😅  Also, terribly sorry for my grammatical errors hahahaha 
and wow look at how monstrous this reply turned out. Terribly sorry for that too 😅
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buckyskorpion · 5 years ago
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in regards to your harry potter au with bucky, could you imagine the reader and buckys child attending hogwarts🥺 what would it be like??
if they had a kid they would definitely go to hogwarts, i wonder if bucky and reader would still be teaching? i think bucky would still be teaching at hogwarts but i always imagine reader would teach for a few years and then go off to do some adventuring and stuff battling dark monsters and shit. maybe she’ll come back to teach once she has a kid because it’s a bit safer than monster fighting haha
imagine tho the pandemonium if they were both teaching at the school and their kid was about to be sorted.... that poor child would have a harry potter-esque fight with the sorting hat bc bucky and reader would’ve been arguing about gryffindor or slytherin for their entire lives. tbh i see their kid not being in either one of those houses which would be the best outcome for everyone.
and reader would be so supportive bc she remembers being muggle born and like wtf is going on so she’d gas her kid up like no other, even when they think they’re disappointing their parents by being in hufflepuff or something she would go NO BITCH!! you’re your own person and you are gonna be the best hufflepuff the world has ever seen, dont even flip. and if anyone even looked at her kid sideways she’d fight them like mad eye moody when he turned draco into a ferret. she would torment her kids bullies and take pure joy out of ruining their lives.
bucky would let them have their friends over to the hut and have cute little afternoon teas and bake stuff bc he’s a housewife at heart. and he’d teach them all about his fun creatures so their childhood pets would be these insane magical beasts and all their school friends would be impressed but mildly afraid. and everyone thinks he’s her scary parent because HELLO it’s the james buchanan barnes they learn about him in history of magic but he’s literally the nicest, softest, gentlest dad of all time ans helps all their friends with their love life troubles and bullies and homework. and then in class when they’re learning about their dad they’re just like oh please, most dangerous war criminal in the history of the wizarding world? he can’t even watch love, actually without crying. and all the purebloods are like what’s that and they’re like get some muggle culture dumbasses and they singlehandedly make having muggle blood cool again.
imagine christmas at their house with sam, steve and peggy and their kids, and bucky and reader have a stupid competition about who could get their kid the coolest christmas present to win the title of Favourite Parent and their kid just goes ‘guys, quit being babies. clearly my favourite parent is sam.’ bc sam got them their first broom and won them over without even trying. he’s an asshole like that hahaha i could go on forever
read came in close here
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