#just ask me how much i love this man
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Coobus Atoobus
#graedari doodles#dishonored#dh1#corvo attano#pencil#sketch#drawing paper#pencil sketch#corvo attano can be so babeygurl blorbo to me#just ask me how much i love this man#its too the moon and even further beyond that#i need to draw him in more casual clothes more often.. much to think about#graedari dh#graedari loves queue
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oooooooooough i love you i love you i love you!!!! hand in loving hand !!!!!!
#mine#cats#i was like losing it over th colouring yesterday like this SUCKS and then looked at it 2day n was like. anyway#ive been unstoppable since ive figured out how 2 do glowy things#me n my partner went ice skating this evening !! so so fun#i love how girls will just peacefully hang out in the centre ice doing spins n boys will fast and furious skate around at 100mph#like we dont need to be doing all that#as soon as i see a boy w hockey skates enter the ice i am now leaving the ice#anyway....i got a slightly dubious fantasy audiobook 2day we will....see...how it is#whenever i read a fantasy book written by a man my hackles are up i am scenting the air i am growling#have i finished assassins fate u ask.....no :3#its been sitting at 30% for like 4 months i cant bring myself 2 read more KJBDSSK#there is like so much book left. so much that can go wrong#i will finish it soon i prommy i prommy...n then listen 2 th tawny man audiobooks :3#ngl this fitz n fool trilogy isnt super doing it 4 me im not finding it as Invigorating for sm reason#still good !! but def my least fave of th three trilogies#anyway. i am going 2 bed
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"I have many fears, most of them about Lucrezia." — Cesare Borgia (The Borgias, 2011-2013) + hints of insecurity
that she adores someone that much / if she will reject his dark nature and act of love and violence as Ursula did / if he truly is not part of her desires / that she easily forgets him
#i have so many thoughts on these two#hes such a clingy brother wth#as much as he soothes her it is only by asking lucrezia verbally or#by looking at her that his fears and insecurities in her life can be soothed#cesare torn between - being relieved she had some joy in the ruthless marriage he had no power to prevent and did not even want to bless#or being envious there is someone else now when his little sister once said she will not love anyone as much as she loves him#but Accepting it anyways because it is impossible loves and maybe he is starting to become aware his love falls in this same category.#“should i envy this narcissus low-born who shall never see you again because of his impossible love for you when i love you just the same?”#the knife more surprise than fear. in a time when he did not love himself...“she accepts me as i am? as i do her”#biting her as if another black panther pet looking for reassurance that their love#that HE is still included in her perfect world even if he himself pulls away#“surely you're in agony as much as i am? are you already satisfied with your child and husband if we cannot share our love openly?”#“your eyes drift to mine when you say 'husband' am i not he? do you see me as so even when it was just 'tonight'?”#and then his sudden gaze as if to look for truth because how can she forget him when he only thinks of her#AND AGAIN pulling away being eaten by shame and guilt of corrupting her (when their relationship is not just his doing)#torn between hope (we have the capacity to forget and move on) and hope (our love has that much devil power over her)#cesare as the god or the devil or whatever it is that overwhelms whether at war or in love#cesare is one confident man and even if his insecurities has layers of righteousness and importance..it is still insecurity nonetheless#and only for lucrezia#lucrezia borgia#cesare borgia#cesare x lucrezia#the borgias#dailyborgia#perioddramaedit#perioddramasource#weloveperioddrama#onlyperioddramas#romancegifs#the borgiasedit
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avenging spider-man #13
#good bedside manner: check your buddy is okay after you impaled him with a katana.#spideypool#not me. feral spideypooler. thinking it is so nice that peter asks wade if he's okay.#he has a healing factor. most people wouldn't ask if he's okay. but peter asks. and that's nice.#sci talks comics#i just really like these issues. i love how quick the flip is between wade having been hired to work against spider-man#to them just working together. and they're both so groovy about it.#like i don't know i really like that dynamic.#that peter doesn't see wade as a real actual threat to him at any time.#knows in his Core that wade actually never means him harm. i like to see that strange weird trust between them.#you never see that anywhere else.#just i REALLY like their dynamic HERE !!#yes i AM reading way too much into it !! but shut up!1 i based my entire personality on these two issues of avenging spider-man!!
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Clone^2 - Separation Strikes
"Why do I have to go?" Damian asks, surly and accent-thick, it sounds more like a demand and a whine at the same time. Sitting on the kitchen table with his arms crossed, in a green t-shirt that Danny bought him at a whim when he was at a thrift shop, and black shorts, he's never looked more like a kid. There's a little backpack leaning against the table leg, Damian begrudgingly picked it out when they went shopping.
His English has grown in leaps and bounds since Danny found him -- er, or more accurately; since Damian was spat out in front of him. -- and very little did they have to use the translator on Danny's phone these days.
Which meant one thing: Damian can start attending school comfortably now. And 'go' was the Amity Smiles Child Care Center. Danny and Jazz went as kids until they were twelve, and Mom and Dad actually managed to convince the center director to let Damian enroll for the summer.
And it was summer; Damian starts today.
"Because," Danny says, trying and failing to hide the smile pulling on his face, his heart warm and soft, and also laughing at Damian's expense; "being cooped up in the house all day isn't good for you, and you're starting school in the Fall. And, in Jazz's words: you need to have interactions with other kids your age for the benefit of your social development. And besides, it's only for the morning."
Damian's nose scrunches up, and his eyes roll so violently that for a moment, Danny thinks about joking that he'll get his eyes stuck like that. He holds his tongue; his little brother already looks like he's five seconds away from committing an act of violence.
"I don't need social interaction." Damian sneers, his cheek in his hand; a neverend pool of pride. "I am--"
"The Blood of the Demon Heir, better than everyone else." Danny cuts off, waving his hand in dismissive circles, his voice mockingly deep. Damian's brown skin darkens in embarrassment, and he scowls at Danny. "I know, bud. But Jazz is right, -- don't tell her I said that, -- you should be around kids your age."
Especially when he starts First Grade in the Fall. Honestly -- Danny was a little nervous to send him to the center. Damian's long since cut the habit of trying to kill or otherwise maim people, his palms ache-burn with gentle reminder, but his tongue was as sharp and as cutting as his sword. He still struggles with trying to quell it when he's upset. Vicious child-weapon that he once was, and will never be again.
Danny knows that it comes from a place of fear and defense, that Damian lashes out because that's what he's been taught. That at the end of the day, he doesn't really mean what he says, and he's learning to express himself better. But the other kids don't know that, and kids can be unforgiving and cruel.
Danny just...
His slow beating heart sighs, melancholy settles behind his lungs.
He doesn't want Damian to be outcasted. He doesn't want him to be alone.
Not like he was.
Damian sneers again, but says nothing, his shoulders crawling up to hide his ears like a turtle receding into his shell. Danny watches him silently, leaning against the kitchen counter with his own arms crossed. The clock hanging on the wall ticks in their ears -- it's almost time to go.
He watches Damian, careful, and so he sees it when his little brother's stone-shell pride and petulance shudders, and cracks. The darkened furrow of Damian's brows weakens, and for a moment, slants back.
Ah, Danny thinks, his own shoulders slumping. Epiphany washes over him, and his sad-heart soothes in warm understanding. So that's what it is.
His head tilts, and his hair spills over his shoulders, messy and fluffy, tickling his neck. Some of his bangs fall into his face. "Hal 'ant easabiatan ya habibi?" He asks, voice low and soft. Just as Damian's English has improved, so has Danny's Arabic. He still stumbles over himself some days, and Damian says his accent is trash, but they can have whole conversations now in Damian's mothertongue.
(Danny was incredibly proud of himself for it.)
Damian's face darkens, his blush spreading across the rest of his face, and he ducks his head down. Grown-out curls, black-brown and springy, falls over his eyes. "La!" He yells, loud and indignant, and not at all convincingly. "La 'asheur bialtawaturi!"
He was nervous. Danny can see it now, in the hunch of his shoulders and the tightness of his face, and faintly, he can feel it too. In the ecto-rich air of the Fentonworks House, it thrums, barely-there, like a hummingbird behind his lungs.
Danny can't stop the little, fond smile that forces itself across his lips and upticks the corner of his mouth. "It's okay to be nervous, little brother." He says, he sounds like Jazz when he says that. He doesn't think she'll mind him borrowing the nickname.
He pushes himself off the counter, and Damian refuses to look at him, hiding behind his hair and in his shoulders. It takes three long strides for him to reach the table, and Danny turns, plants his hands on the ledge, and hoists himself up. Right next to Damian.
Damian leans into him easily when Danny's arm wraps around his shoulders and tucks him close to his heart. He can feel his ear against his ribs. Danny hunches over him, resting his chin on Damian's head. "It's so okay to be nervous, actually. I was nervous, Jazz was nervous." He tells him, scratching the blunt edge of his nails across his scalp. "Everyone gets nervous."
"'Ana last aljumiea." Damian mumbles, as small and feeble as he was the night on the OPS Center balcony, realizing that his mom and the League weren't coming for him. Realizing that he was replaceable.
Danny's half-working heart squeezes; in grief, in rage, and his faucet eyes sting. He breathes in carefully, and presses his nose into Damian's hair in a loving faux-kiss. "You're right, you're not everyone." He says, steady and strong, because if he's not a pillar for his family, who else is he?
He can feel Damian's eyes flick up to him, and Danny smiles into his black-brown curls. Tilts his head to squish his cheek against him instead, hand dropping to thumb below Damian's lashes. "You're Damian Fenton," Because the adoption went through a few weeks ago, and he's still riding that high, "You're my baby brother. O' Artist Extraordinaire, Kickass with a Sword, Vegetarian and Wonderful Co-Ghost Hunter."
Damian tries to stifle a smile, and fails. Score! Triumph gathers in Danny's gut, his smile grows wider. He squeezes Damian tight, and only releases him so he can look him in the eyes. "And if anyone gives you a hard time at school, and I mean anyone--"
Danny has bad memories of the teachers looking the other way when the other kids were bullying him, all because he was a Fenton.
And Danny, bleeding heart, bleeding hands, loves his family more than he will ever love himself, will never let Damian experience the same injustice. Not if he can help it.
His eyes narrow, and the buzzy-film of ectoplasm covers his eyes, making them glow, "--You tell me. And as your awesome great big brother-and-technically-dad-but-only-biologically, I will handle it."
Damian, wonderfully made, full of light, his little brother Damian, giggles weakly at him. A sound that's worth it's weight in gold. The scary eyes dissipate, and Danny matches the sound with a cock-eyed, impish grin, dragging Damian into a soul-crushing, too-tight hug. The kind that only annoying older brothers can give. "Got it?"
That gets a proper, if short, laugh out of Damian. He wriggles in Danny's arms, trying to break free. But Danny does calisthenics, his arms are as big as Damian's head, so it doesn't work. "Understood, now, daeni 'adhhab ya 'akhi!"
Danny laughs, loud and bright, and loosens his hold just a smidge, only so he can adjust his grip and hop off the table with Damian still in arm.
"Never!" He crows, hoisting Damian slightly. One eye flick at the clock, and in one quick move, he secures Damian under one arm like a football, and hooks his foot under the strap of his backpack. Kicking it up, he tosses it into the air and catches it with his free hand, and slings it over his shoulder. "Now, to the car, my boy! Before we're late and Mom and Dad get charged."
Damian groans, childish and dramatic and long, but his face is all squished up with a wide grin and glee. Danny can taste his joy beneath his tongue.
"And, if my little pep talk didn't encourage you," He says, reaching the door to the garage, flipping Damian up onto his hip instead. "If you have a good day today, I'll make you bal mithai when you get back."
Like all kids at the promise of sweets, Damian's eyes widen and glitter. Danny loves seeing Damian be a kid, it's his favorite thing in the world. "I will!"
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc au#dpxdc fic#dpxdc ficlet#clone^2#clone danny fenton#MAN I LOVE THIS AU SM#clone danny#danny fenton is a clone#i lomv. them :((( SO MUCH. I'VE MISSED WRITING THEM. i had this idea since talking to purple-goo-writes abt clone danny last week#they mean everything to me. they are the brothers ever. so family coded. don't ask me about the timeline here it doesnt exist#its post-danny's hands getting permanently fucked up and thats it lol.#parent danny is great but 'big brother danny' is SO fucking fun to write. he's silly and goofy and annoying in the way only siblings are#smth about writing danny being so full of love and kindness and protective compassion. bleeding heart that he is. its like doing cocaine#chaotic danny is SO fun and silly but kIND danny is. holy shit its better than getting high. altho ive never been high so i can only guess#there's just smth addictive in writing him being affectionate and loving and caring. he's heartful and heart full.#he's sweet - not like sugar - but like caramel. fulfilling and chewy. a kindness that gets stuck in your teeth and melts on your tongue#he's such an annoying older brother. i love him#bal mithai is a type of pakistani dessert btw. since Nanda Parbat is based off the mountain nanga parbat which is in pakistan. i figured#that the food damian had in the league might've been pakistani-based. or at least heavily pakistani in orign. maybe. i just didn't wanna#look up 'arabic desserts' and pick the first one off the list. felt inauthentic that way alsdh#translations since you wont get it through google translate:#1. 'are you nervous beloved?' 2. 'no! I am not nervous!' 3. 'I'm not everyone' 4. 'let me go brother!'#while i dont usually use 'little brother' or 'brother' as terms of endearments between siblings. Jazz canonically calls Danny that and#i figured if i worded it in a way that sounded natural. it would sound less soul-crushingly cringy. look as someone wit THREE siblings.#i know exactly how siblings interact with one another. but this felt like a special exception. they don't say it often
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Like I'm sorry are you seeing how much this man was INTO IT when he sang Would That I earlier?!??
Also the curls were curling, oh my goodness 😍
Source: x.com
#IMPORTANT UPDATE: THE Fuckass White Converse IS OKAY! HE WORE IT EARLIER!!#once upon a time i had a post on here talking about how much i love this song live because of the variation whenever he does the#'youre good to me' part#especially with this one I'm just FLOORED by how feral he was!!!#i cannot find that post but the sentiment still stands#w.b! era will never die#hozier#andrew hozier byrne#would that i#wasteland baby!#unreal unearth tour#andrew hozier-byrne#THE MAN THAT YOU ARE#!!!!#your honor i love him!!!#also love love love how the crowd participation in this song was not something he ever asked for. the crowd just loved singing along🥺🥺#until it became a staple 🥺🥺#this man is as tall as he is because the talent cannot be contained!!
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astarion origin playthrough worth it just for all the extra moments where he does the "sad wet cat" face
#bg3#bg3 spoilers#thoughts about media#astarion#*kisses his forehead* my awful little bastard man... i love you and your big sad watery eyes.#IT'S SO FUCKING QUIET THOUGH IF YOU YOURSELF ARE PLAYING HIM GOOD LORD#I'M SO USE TO HIM COMPLAINING TO MY TAV!!!!#OR BANTERING WITH HIM OR KARLACH OR WYLL!!!#I MISS HIS THEATRICS!!!!!!!#not that it's ENTIRELY quiet. until i found karlach i was travelling with shadowheart lae'zel and gale.#and let me tell you. gale and lae'zel do NOT shut the fuck up if they are together.#they were literally having an entire tinder date while we were trecking through the woods to go get karlach.#i NEVER knew they talk so much because while i've travelled with them individually in past saves...#...i've NEVER had them in my party at the same time!#gale is actually pretty nice to lae'zel! he asks a lot of questions but doesn't condescend her as he does others sometimes.#that's probably because he's afraid of her though. I would be too were I nothing more than a wizard with 8 strength.#I do like how you can look at pretty much any two companions and get a well written and generally enjoyable dynamic!#It feels like they considered that a lot of people would want to maybe pair off the companions they didn't romance with each other!#and wanted it to be easy for really any pairing to work... if a person just paid attention to their shared interactions.
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I recently got into the series (starting with Yakuza 0) and your art is feeding me every minute I’m away from my console not playing the game uwu
Omggg you don't know how happy I got by reading your comment ;;💕 Thank you so much!! Yakuza 0 is one of the best gaming experiences out there and I hope it hooks you to play the entire series! Enjoy every second of your journey because it's gonna be a blast ❤
#it's not a stretch to say that this game and the series changed my life for the better lol#not just artistically but as a human being as well (I'm serious)#I will never be able to fully express my love for this franchise and how much it helped me dfdsjklsf#I don't know man I just love Yakuza ;;❤#ask#tumblr ask#kiryu kazuma#majima goro#kazumaji#yakuza#y0 majima#y0 kiryu
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Taylor Alison Swift did not leap from the gallows and levitate down your street so that you could assume she was rivals with number one camp messy serial killer bisexual rockstar Lestat de Lioncourt. They're shit-talking each other's ex-boyfriends over a bottle of wine right now. They're working on several dozen collaborative tracks about how much they want to murder their exes while also calling them crying at 4am. He's not Dylan Thomas. She's not Patti Smith. You get it.
#he has asked her what she thought of immortality and she told him a long story about how much she loves her cats and didn't get it#they have made out twice#he has tried to fuck her football man and she asked if she could watch#they're just idiots#mary told me to post this so if this makes you mad#you can forward your angry asks to her#i think i'm hilarious#vampire princess baylor slow#tortured poet baylor slow#iwtv: 2022 they're fucking edition#iwtv spoilers#baylor vs lestat 2024#do i have a music tag?#please don't show this post to actual human being taylor swift this is for goofs on the internet
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I am social'd out and very tired.
#my characters#oops i fell in love#drawing my anxiety son who i always throw in hoodies#doing what i did when i sat down at my computer in a thing with a hood#which is wear the hood and feel a little bit better and more sheltered#ON THE BRIGHT SIDE ! ! ! the sociald out is due to job stuff! cause I got an interview today!#but it was v sudden and i got the call last night asking if i could come in this morning#no idea when i start but man#im actually p excited for the job and i feel like people will think its silly if i say what it is#but its v much something i really want to do and i just gotta wait on the place to do a bg check on me#but it wore me out because thats how im built#i do feel better after decompressing while wearing my hood up tho#im like a salmon in a turtle shell
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While I scream into the void of not finishing any art, have this silly oc interaction of Dandy and Will cause Will's hands are huge and I couldn't stop thinking about how tiny he'd make Dandy's hands look in comparison.
Will Wayward belongs to the lovely @kandavers
#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#welcome home oc#welcome home original character#dandy leon#will wayward#sketches#my art#kandavers#Hey remember when I said I'd post some finished art before making yall look at my sketches again??? I LIED#Im sorry I've just been doodling so much instead of finishing shit#I've been drawing...a LOT of oc interactions#And I keep wanting to post them but they're ALL sketches#would you guys hate me if I was true to my name and sketched all the time???#lmao im kidding I know yall wouldnt hate me but I do feel kinda bad cause I love posting finished colored art#but I am also a man with little time because of work and sketching is how I relax#Maybe I'll sketch dump a lot of them so yall dont get spammed#this one gets its own post tho#dont ask me i dont make the rules
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i can't get over how cool this fuckin bug is i love seeing it on my dash so much
and i know i've already done it, but GOD I JUST wanna keep giving you all my thanks 😭
i love you (platonic) and your stuff and this website so much it's astonishing how i can spit out my most random thought ever after reading "happy wiggles" and be graced with the gift of A GORGEOUS PIECE OF ART
so THANK YOU SO MUCH for your creativity and passion and for simply being yourself on this wonderful site (your bug will make for a nice addition to the collection of fictional characters in my brain)
thabk you,, here is little wee wee enjoying its wretched meal
#ask#insignificant-creature#doodles#w1#HEY MAN!! im drawing stuff for fun u dont own me anything just like how i dont owe anything#we are all organisms mutually benefiting from loving eachothers art and creations i think#thank you soso much for the kind words#it really does mean a lot
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i like the car movies a lot.......
#cars#pixar cars#lightning mcqueen#sally carrera#my art#art#drawing#fanart#sketch#these r SOOOOOOOO messy dont worry abt jt#i love sally n mcqueen so muhcnman#sally the love of my LIFEEEE#also his pyjamas in the court sketch r. bc i asked my pals what we think he was wearing when he got separated from mack. bc its SO funny to#imagine him in his pjs in court trying to seduce sally#like realisitclally hes probably not. they peobably gave him a change of clothes he did in fact make a mess#but man.....the idea of him stood there in his own branded pjs . .....it enamours me#temporary wheelchair user mcqueen after his crash is reel to me <3#he doesnt even need it for that long but by god he decks it out#note that they have rings on in the cars 3 ones...theyre married...#the second one is all sally when she arrived at radiator sprrriiings i rhink of her too much#ft flo & sheriff#ur sheriff. ur watching the road leading into town (even the towns basically dead anyway noones fucking coming in so ur legit just sat ther#eating lunch and thinking abt ur husband). a blue porsche rolls in and ur like huh. a visitor. thats new. the porsche suddenly just gives#out in the middle of the road and ur like. oh shit lemme call mater. before u get the chance to do that u r cut off by the LONGEST BEEP#IN HISTORY as sally carrera#burnt out from lawyering#slams her head on the wheel and yells FUCKKKKKKKKKK. this is MY canon now.#sheriff watching a stressed 20 smth in a business suit repeatedly knock her head against her steering wheel while muttering about#how this Has to be her annoying bosses fault somehow#wondering if he should offer her some help or just let her get it out of her system
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prongsfoot and wolfstar in the last chapter of Presque Vu by @starsworth
#re read this last chapter today and accidentally stabbed myself in the heart oops#lowkey forgot how violently emotionally intense and healing it was but ouchiieeeeee#YOU MADE ME A WIDOW??!!!#and not Remus going all red in the face two secs later just to admit he’s in love w Sirius#pls I love that man he’s so ridiculous 😭#also I almost drew the brothers but I was scared to make myself cry again so it’ll be for another time I guess#the prongsfoot scene was so important to me#“they were so bright together—shining so much they created a universe on their own”#ARE U KIDDING ME???#also yes I still hate tumblr for not allowing me commas#“I loved you in life I love you in death”#ZAR WHEN I CATCH YOU#I would send u my therapy bills and ask for financial compensation but also *that’s* therapy in itself so…#anyway#james potter#sirius black#remus lupin#presque vu fanart#hp fanart#mauraudeurs fanart#wolfstar#wolfstar fanart#prongsfoot#iris tries to art#and as always cries in the process
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I need scenes where Daryl explicitly shows that he loves Carol for all of who she is as a human. I know we know it, even though that feeling has been fading since the spin-off and even in parts of season 11. But I reallyyy need at least one scene where Daryl catches Carol doing something distinctly Carol and looks at her for a *prolonged* time with unambiguous love all over his face. And then he actively shows and tells her. Like the scenes where Aaron and Rosita see Carol putting herself through pain to kill the horse to feed Alexandria. I need to know that Daryl sees that in her. And I need to see him radiate intense love in her direction because she fucking needs it.
#i just feel like carol has spent years and years and years being the most selfless and loving human on the planet#and she has no idea how fuck beautiful of a human she is#even though her family love her they also punish her for her flaws and its gross honestly#but you know who never did that#daryl#and you know who now feels like he sometimes does that#you guessed it#and i just feel like shes trapped in this state of daryl being the only person who always loved her unconditionally and just hoping for...#for that version of him to come back again#but shes not asking for it bc she doesnt think she deserves it#but she hopes#and it feels like he isnt there for her#not really#i need her to feel loved again#even when they reunited in france it just felt like she was relieved to have found him but at terminus it was more like joy to realise...#how much he loved her#when does she get to have that again#even the shocked look she gave during “im the one you tell” when she realised he actually WANTS to be there for her i'd like that again#our man daryl just built all of this reassurance that he loves and supports her and then when shes at her most lost he withdraws it#like what the fuck#i just want carol happy so much#or just LOVED i just want her to feel truly loved#bc right now i feel like she feels like people just tolerate her#can anyone honestly tell me they watched tboc and feel like carol feels unwaiveringly loved and supported throughout that series#bc wow#silly me but i think we all deserve more than what she got there#caryl#the book of carol#tboc#carol peletier
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thinkinnn bout arthur pendragon. my baby boy. he's such a bitch but also such a baby girl.
he never felt the love of a mother and relied on his father for all of the love and validation he needed growing up but uther never gave it to him unless he succeeded in battle - probably against druids/sorcerers. arthur never feeling like he was enough, that he was never worthy of love unless he did something for them or won a battle because that was the only time his father looked at him with a modicum of warmth.
being a prince raised to one day be king and being taught to never trust anyone, that as king he can only trust himself, and then watching his father fuck over the people of camelot and going "a king must make hard choices" but arthur never agrees with any of that!! he puts on the aloof asshole act to keep people away so he doesn't get hurt but baby boy wears his damn heart on his sleeve. he cares. SO much. he trusts everyone, no matter how many times he's been betrayed. he does everything he can for his people
he strives for their love and pride because he never got it growing up. he works his ass off to be the best king for his people that he can be, so he can be the best heir for his father that he can be, so he can be the best son for his mother that he can be - all so he can prove that he's good enough and worthy enough of love. yet time and time again, he's betrayed by those he has done nothing but be there for. time and time again, the people he's loved and trusted most have betrayed him and left him like he was nothing. proving to him time and time again that he wasn't enough, that he'll never be enough for their love or loyalty.
#INCLUDING merlin btw#i love merlin and as the audience we understand merlin's pov a lot better#but speaking from arthur's pov...merlin also betrayed and hurt him DEEPLY by hiding and lying to him for years#in the end ofc arthur realizes that merlin never meant to betray him and that he really does love him#and that kinda makes merlin the one exception#but for a moment he was also betrayed by the man he loved most#the man whose opinion mattered most to him#god could you imagine how broken and worthless arthur felt then? its why he couldnt even look at merlin afterwords#not only bc he was angry at merlin for lying but bc he was ashamed and embarrassed at not being enough once again#arthur pendragon they could never make me hate you#bbc merlin#arthur pendragon#kind of character study??? idk#or is this meta???#idfk tags bro#dont ask me#this is just a page from my tear-soaked diary#i love him so much#arthur pendragon needs more justice
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