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boozuru · 2 years ago

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Ghostic - Haunted 4

⇠ chapter select ⇢

(NOT JP PROOFED)

Season: Autumn

＜The next day＞

Eichi: Okay, practice is going to get really rough starting from today.

As you all might remember from yesterday when I taught you the choreography, Ghostic Treat House is using ES Haunted House’s huge stage to the fullest during the performance.

I guess you could describe it as theatrical. What we want to achieve is dancing that carries both fierceness and abstract quality, a performance where we express the emotion with our whole body.

Of course, we’ll eventually practice on the actual ES Haunted House stage.

But first we need to practice with a mirror, so we can ensure graceful dancing by focusing on our posture and how our limbs move.

Wataru: It’s important to build foundation for the basics~ Eichi and I are thoroughly prepared to start from zero along with you two, of course!

For example, when we incorporated ballet elements into the choreography, or when observing haunted houses at theme parks…

Since Himegimi and Mr. Butler here have been swamped in student council work and thus been away from the dance floor for a while, how about we start from simple relearning?

Tori: Wait, did you just say you went to a theme park with Eichi-sama?

That's so unfair, mophead! Invite me too!

Wataru: Oh dear. How rude of me.

Eichi told me to keep it a secret since “it would be bad for Tori”, but I accidentally blabbed about it anyway… ♪

Tori: What the heck, so it was supposed to be a secret between you two...!? To think you guys would get so close while I was busy with the student council…!

Eichi: I'm sorry Tori. We thought you were busy enough, so we shouldn't add more to the load. I had to go to the theme park for other business anyway, so…

Besides, I don’t want to go there just for business, I genuinely want to go have fun with all of fine in our free time some day.

So, we’ll be back soon enough.

Pinky swear, if I lie then I’ll drink a thousand needles ♪ (TL note: this isn't just something Eichi says to scare people - the phrase is said for the rhyme associated with kids making a pinky promise.)

Tori: Oh… But if you do something that crazy, you’ll die, won’t you?

There doesn’t have to be a punishment, seriously!

Just promise to keep the promise… Pinky swear!

Alright! And that's that. You were watching, right Yuzuru?

Yuzuru: ...

Tori: Huh? What's wrong?

Yuzuru: Ah, I apologize. I was just deep in thought.

Tori: Eh~? What, are you worried about something too? You should leave that stuff to Hasumi-senpai.

But I get it, things haven’t been smooth sailing recently. You can’t help but overthink sometimes.

Stuff like not being able to get chocolate at Chocolat Fes and Yumenosaki’s Halloween Party having problems one after another.

And yesterday I forgot my phone, and there was that blackout and everything… It feels like the world is against us now.

With the way bad happenings seem to follow us, it almost makes you afraid of something bad happening on the event day, right?

Yuzuru: Something bad...

I disagree. These things are always very much dependent on how you view them, Young Master.

All the problems with the event have been solved, and you even made this promise with Eichi-sama to go play at the theme park, correct? If we consider that, today has been a good day, hasn’t it?

Tori: Mm, I guess so. I was also maybe being a little too pessimistic.

Anyway, we should get back to practice. Eichi-sama, can you teach me?

Eichi: Of course. It’s my duty as the one in charge of this project after all.

Can you stand in front of the mirror and dance for me?

Tori: Okay!

♪~♪~

Wataru: Fufufu. So Eichi and Himegimi will be pairing up for this? In that case, I’ll be with Mr. Butler ♪

Yuzuru: Yes. I'll be in your care, Hibiki-sama.

♪~♪~♪

Wataru: ...

That part just now, could you do that again for me?

Yuzuru: ? Understood. I assume you mean that I should start from this position.

♪~♪~♪

Wataru: …Hmm, I can’t see even a hint of that usual edge to you. Are you in pain somehow?

Yuzuru: No, not at all...

(However… Now that I think about it, I didn’t sleep well due to my anxiety yesterday.)

(Something like a ghost ruining our performance after getting attached to us… I don’t even want to think about it.)

(I am hesitant to talk to everyone about it at this critical point in time.)

(So I have to come up with another reason-)

—The student council has been swamped with work recently, so I suppose I am worn out.

Wataru: Oh my! That's quite unexpected from Mr. Butler himself...!

In that case, you should end practice for today and go rest in the medical office. You're a hard worker, so one or two rest days won't impact your progress.

Yuzuru: B-but... I should not cause trouble for everyone-

Wataru: Now now, you shouldn't force yourself.

If the problem is you being a possible burden for resting, we should ask the neutral team leader to pass his judgment on the situation!

Eichi? Mr. Butler here isn’t feeling too good, you won’t mind if we let him rest, would you?

Eichi: Ahaha. You don’t need to ask to already know the answer, you know?

Yuzuru. If you’re unwell, I want you to take good care of yourself and rest properly.

No matter what, health comes first. I don’t want you to end up like me, ending up in bad condition and having to withdraw from everything for a long time.

Tori: Yeah, Yuzuru! You’re human, so it’s fine for you to just step back and rest sometimes.

This isn’t a suggestion but an order! Something you have to listen and go along with!

This year’s Halloween is going to be even greater than last year, so if you aren’t there it’s going to make it way duller.

So to make sure you’ll be there for the best part, take a breather for now.

Yuzuru: I-I see. Everyone, thank you for your kindness…

Well then, I shall head for the medical office now. I will be back in tip top shape after resting for a while.

Until then, I trust you to take care of my part as well, Young Master.

#ghostic

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startanewdream · 4 years ago

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All the time with you

Lily was avoiding him.

Which would be nothing new to James except they were dating for two weeks now and she was his girlfriend - she had said yes when he’d asked her, twice, so James was sure if that - and James had thought everything was fine between them.

It seemed like that when he’d meet her for breakfast - she had kissed him softly on the lips, her eyes closed a second longer when they broke apart as if she was still savouring that kiss and she had beamed at him. They had gone together to Potions class, but then, in the middle of class, when her potion was brewing, she had withdrawn suddenly, edgy on her spot, and she had briefly talked with Professor Slugnorn before vanishing her potion and abandoning class.

That was it. She had left with barely a wave to him, just telling him she would see him later.

But she wasn’t in the Common Room in their next free period and she hadn’t showed up for lunch either. None of her friends seemed to know where she was, which meant James had to resort to search for her in the Marauder’s Map.

‘That’s a little bit stalker, don’t you think?’, Sirius asked, his eyebrows raised and a smirk on his face. He always thought it was amusing when James freaked out about Lily as if he could see something James was blind to.

‘I am worried’, James said, very reasonable. Lily was missing - maybe something had happened, maybe she was in the Hospital Wing, maybe she had met someone who was far more interesting than James and…

Well, maybe he was overreacting a little.

But finding Lily was easy - her dot was still on her bed, alone.

On the one place James couldn’t get to her.

‘Oh, Merlin. This is bad’.

‘What is bad?’ Sirius asked, coming to sit on James’ bed and following James’ trembling finger on the Map. ‘She is in her dormitory’.

‘I can’t go there - don’t you see what that means? She is avoiding me’.

Sirius blinked, not impressed.

‘I think she is avoiding everyone, Prongs’.

It could be, but not everyone was her very concerned boyfriend.

‘Probably she was just tired and took advantage of Slug’s love for her to drop out of the class’.

‘That’s it, Lily loves Potions. She wouldn’t leave class unless there was a reason’.

‘Tired, like I said. Aren’t you two overworking to finish that Christmas event?’

James nodded, hoping there wasn’t any guilt showing up on his face. Sure, the Christmas event was one of the things the Heads had to organize, but he and Lily were taking way longer that it was needed just because they had been too entertained with each other in the past two weeks - it turned out that the Prefect’s Room was empty if all Prefects were out in patrol rounds and it turned that James and Lily were responsible for defining those rounds.

All in all, they were taking weeks to do something that they could have finished in two nights - but it provided them a nice excuse to all these moments together.

‘Yeah, maybe’.

‘Just relax, Prongs’.

He wished he could, but Lily didn’t show up for Charms either - another of her favourite classes - so, under his friends’ amused looks, he went to talk to Mary McDonald, asking if she could ask Lily to meet him.

‘Sure, James’, she said, giving him a funny look. ‘But I think she just wants to be alone’.

‘Do you know what’s wrong?’, he asked, biting his lips. Alone, Mary had said. Alone sounded bad.

‘Oh, it’s just - you know what? I will talk to her and we’ll see’.

That sounded ominous too. He nodded, quiet.

There was another free period that afternoon after Double Charms. They stayed in the Common Room, and James was supposedly finishing an essay, but his head kept turning to the stairs to the girl’s dormitories.

‘You are going to break your neck, Prongs’, Remus noted when James turned once more after hearing steps on the stairs, but it was just two Second Year girls that had come down.

‘I am fine’, he said stiffly.

‘No, you are not’, Sirius disagreed, reaching over to grab the parchment James had been writing on. ‘You got back to doodling “L.E”’.

‘It’s short for Law of Elvendork’, James said. ‘The theory that says every object can be turned into another as long as the elements are proportionally observed during the transformation’.

‘You are making this up’.

‘I am making this up’, James conceded, ignoring Sirius’ look. ‘I am just - I wish there was some way of going upstairs -’

‘I know’, Sirius said, a grimace on his face. That was the only thing they had never managed to accomplish in their seven years at Hogwarts. ‘Maybe we can restart that project - did we try the Confundus Charm on the stairs?’

‘Fourth year’, Peter answered him, without raising his eyes from his essay.

‘How about our animagus form? If -’

‘First thing we did on Fifth Year’.

‘Polyjuice Potion?’

‘We tried to brew on Third Year’, now Peter glanced at Sirius, shaking his head. ‘I looked like Anne MacMillan for three days!’

‘Oh, well, she was pretty’.

‘I had half her body. The left part of her body. I had to hide it for three days!’

James almost smiled at the memory.

‘Half of you was pretty then’, he said to Peter, who rolled his eyes. Then James sighed. ‘Well, I can’t finish this essay today, so I will - Lily!’

He raised immediately, a hand grabbing his own hair nervously as Lily came down the stairs. Her face was pale and she smiled at him when she saw him, but there was something restrained on her smile.

James thought she looked like she was really uncomfortable with something.

‘Hi, guys’, she said, not meeting anyone’s eyes. ‘Can I talk to you, James?’

When he nodded, quiet and still, she raised her eyebrows a little bit. ‘Alone, I meant’.

‘Oh, sure’, he said, looking around for a quiet place, but Lily surprised him going in the direction of the boy’s dormitory. He glanced around, finding his friends equally surprised, and followed her upstairs.

Lily didn’t turn to him until they reached the top of the tower. There, she looked around the room - James was grateful that the house-elves had cleaned up their mess, because the room looked decent - before turning to him.

She wasn’t smiling. That didn’t look good.

James felt something pressing his chest, putting all pieces together in a puzzle he wasn’t sure he wanted to finish - Lily avoiding him, the grimace on her face, the way she was closing her eyes now and then as if to steel herself to do something and her request that they would talk alone, in a place no one could witness their break up -

‘Which one is your bed?’, she asked, stopping his reverie. James blinked, confused, and pointed to the nearest bed. Lily nodded. ‘Control your thoughts, okay?’, she said, sitting on his bed. ‘But lay here with me’.

There had been a considerable number of scenarios that James had imagined Lily on his bed, but on the verge of her breaking up with him was not one of them.

‘I think I prefer to stand up, Lily’, he said slowly.

‘We can’t do it with you like that’, Lily answered him as if it were obvious. ‘Just come here, please, James’.

He frowned, unsure, but he sat on the other side of his bed. Lily looked at him as if James was missing something very important, and when he didn’t move, she sighed.

‘Are you mad at me?’, she asked, sounding tired. ‘I am sorry I went away without -’

‘I thought you were mad with me!’, James interrupted her, shocked. She looked confused.

‘Why would I be mad at you?’

‘Because - yes? What else would you break up with me?’

‘Break up? Did you take that Essence of Insanity in class today?’

‘If you are not breaking up - why did you call me?’

‘Oh’, she blushed, the sweetest shade of pink colouring her face and James imagined he could feel the heat coming from her body. ‘I wanted to cuddle’.

‘... cuddle?’

‘Yeah, you know’, she put her legs on the bed and he saw she had taken out her shoes. Lily laid on the pillows next to him, her hand supporting her head. ‘Mary told me you were worried about me and I thought - instead of being miserable alone in bed, I could be here with you’.

‘You wanted to be miserable with me?’, he asked, but there was a shadow of a grin on his lips now. He took off his own shoes, lying in the bed too, and Lily nestled against his chest, closing her eyes.

‘It’s really hard to be miserable next to you’, she assured him, pressing herself more against him and inspiring heavily. ‘You smell so nice’.

With her lying so close to him, the scent of her shampoo so strong and intoxicating, James thought he could say the same about her.

But he just raised his hand to touch her hair, combing it softly, watching the strands of dark red hair. ‘Lily? Are you ok?’

‘I am, it’s just -’, she paused, unsure. ‘It’s cramps’.

‘Cramps?’, James repeated, confused, and then he opened his eyes. ‘Oooh’.

‘Yeah, sorry about oversharing’.

‘What? No, I - well, I want to know when you are not feeling well or - I mean - can I do anything to help?’

James tried to think of whatever he knew about female biology. His father had explained some things to him a few years ago and he understood the basics, but he hadn’t been paying attention very much if he was honest. Female body looked much more complicated than his.

‘You can keep hugging me’, she whispered and he pressed himself closer to her. 'Sorry about scaring you today. I just wanted to suffer alone'.

'Don't. I mean, I'd rather you don't suffer but - if you must - I am always available for some cuddling'.

She raised her head a little to place a kiss on his neck that gave him goosebumps all over his body.

'I will keep this is mind', she told him warmly. Then Lily sighed. ‘It’s been a while since I have this crisis… I usually take my potions the day before, but - well, I was a little bit distracted yesterday’.

She broke away just enough to wink at him and James suddenly remembered exactly what they had been doing last night on that empty Prefect’s Room - how he had pressed her against the door of the room, his mouth exploring her neck and any exposed skin there, how Lily had moaned softly and how that had driven him crazy -

‘James?’, she called him and he realized he must have drifted off in the memories, judging by how his body was reacting too quickly. He turned slightly, urging his mind to stop recollecting that moment. ‘Maybe now is not the moment?’, she added, a knowing smile on her lips.

‘Sorry’, he said, feeling his neck reddening. James forced himself to focus on the present. ‘I will help you remember next month’, he promised. ‘No distraction, Marauder’s honour’.

‘Maybe just a little distraction’, Lily said, winking at him again. He laughed softly, kissing her forehead, and she rested her head under his chin. ‘I will pay attention next month, don’t worry - I mean, you don’t need to know my cycle, James -’

‘Nonsense’, he said lightly. ‘I already know Remus’, what’s one more?’

She let out an amused laugh, the one that was James' favourite.

‘Well, wait until you experience my mood swings’.

‘PMS? Is that real?’

‘Very real’, she assured him. ‘I may need to hide again -’

‘I hope you don’t’, he whispered, massaging her neck now. ‘I meant it when I said I want to be there with you’.

‘I may get really stressed’, Lily warned him. ‘Like I may want to throw things - it’s better if you are not close’.

‘I have very good reflexes’.

‘Or I may get really sad and cry, and you’ll think it’s because of you, but it’s not’.

‘Then I will give you chocolate’, he promised. ‘Chocolate is the solution for everything’.

Another laugh; James smiled to himself, satisfied with her reaction. Discovering her reactions to him was really his favourite part of the last two weeks of dating her.

‘Well, you can’t go wrong with chocolate’, Lily agreed. ‘And this massage is really good too’.

‘Oh, I have magic fingers’, he teased. ‘I can show you’.

‘James…’

‘I meant a massage in the back, Lily’, he said innocently, and she chuckled once more, not believing him much. ‘Here’.

He sat more upright, helping Lily’s head on a pillow next to him, and started rubbing the base of her neck and then her shoulders, feeling the tension on her muscles and letting it guide him.

‘Hmmm’, she sighed. ‘That’s actually good’.

‘See? Magic fingers’. He kept rubbing her back, feeling her relaxing under his touch. He beamed - even after two weeks of them going out, there was still that disbelief in knowing Lily fancied him back and trusted him and wanted to be with him. ‘So, those mood swings - care to tell me beforehand?’

‘Oh, you’ll notice’, she said distractedly. ‘Two weeks from now probably’.

‘So - two weeks ago you were in one of them?’

‘I guess’.

‘Then our date and all that snogging later - just one mood change?’

‘Oh, it certainly changed my mood’, Lily said, turning her head in his direction and he was relieved to see her green eyes sparkling. ‘There were some hormones involved in kissing you, but I promise you none of them were fleeting’.

‘I’m glad to know’, he answered, grinning too. ‘Or else we would kiss just one week of the month’.

‘That would mean three miserable weeks’.

James laughed. Lily watched him, a smile on her lips that died when she closed her eyes, grimacing.

‘Are you in pain?’, he asked, worried.

‘It’ll pass, just some more minutes for the potion to take effect again’.

He laid down again, this time with her back for him, and Lily curled up against him. He put a hand under her head, careful to entwine his hands with hers.

‘You are so warm’, she whispered.

‘Is that bad?’

‘No, it’s good. I might nap though’.

‘You can - I’ll wake you up later for dinner’.

She sighed softly.

‘Thanks, James - I know this is not how you imagined us being in your bed’.

Her voice was heavier now with sleep, though he could hear her teasing. James let out a soft laugh, kissing the top of her head, and hugging her closer. Lily was quite warm for him too; there was something very cozy in being next to her like that, even if all they were doing was just cuddling together.

He thought of sharing nights with her where they would just do this - lay together, his arms around her, quiet and serene, and somehow those nights looked as appealing as the most creative nights he could dream of.

‘You are wrong, you know’, he whispered, but she didn’t move and James thought she had fallen asleep. ‘I want to be with you in every way’.

And he closed his eyes, letting her warmth and perfume lull him into a quiet sleep too.

#Jily #jily oneshot #James Potter being a nice boyfriend #Fluff #Lily wants a hug #James and Lily

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nevertheless-moving · 4 years ago

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Suicidal Misunderstanding Part Three: SW Time Travel AU #27

Part One

Part Two

Obi Wan woke with a dry mouth and a moderate headache. A fairly typical morning these days.

He peered around his bedroom in the temple confused. Wasn’t he just with Cody? Shouldn’t he be on the Negotiator? No wait, the war was over, Cody tried to kill him, and the Negotiator was a part of the Imperial Armada, of course he wouldn’t be there. He closed his eyes, snuggling back under the covers. Before he could drift back to sleep, his sluggish mind processed that last thought.

He BOLTED upright in bed. The temple had been razed, his personal chambers scorched with particular thoroughness. Just being on Coruscant was an automatic death sentence. Faint tendrils of panic began to curl around his throat before he remembered his decision to give Spice a try. He had reasoned that he should probably find at least one pleasure in his new life, instead of focusing incessantly on what was lost.

So what if he lost a few brain cells? Good riddance.

Obi-Wan had been a bit nervous, but this had ended up being his best decision in years. His goodbye to Cody had been painful, but deeply cathartic. Spice Hallucination Anakin didn’t scream like Nightmare Anakin, and the color of his eyes was perfect. Far better final memories to cling to than reality- a reminder of the good times. Comforted, he relaxed backwards in bed, pulling his blankets back around him.

He LURCHED out of bed, covers tossed aside, movement a blur.

He was still hallucinating?!? Spice shouldn’t last in the system this long! He might’ve been uncertain about whether he was supposed to smoke or snort the substance but it was a well known fact that its exhaustive but rapid passage through the body was half what made it so addictive. If nothing else, his well-restedness and thirst indicated it had been at least six hours. He looked frantically around the room, searching for some thread of unreality to pull at.

This...was not good. Hadn’t the subconscious manifestations of his friends mentioned drugs that interacted poorly with force users last night? He had dismissed it at the time but...

He clearly was stuck in some sort of drugged fantasy combined with force-enhanced memory recall. Kriff, he had to wake up in the real world before he died of an aneurysm. Or just dehydration.

He sat on the ‘temple floor’ to meditate. This could be tricky as he couldn’t risk lowering his outer shields to reach out to reality. It would be deeply embarrassing as well as horrifying if the Emperor managed to find him and, by extension, Luke because he got stuck in a bad spice trip.

The door to his room clicked open quietly.

“Oh! You’re awake. Sorry to come in without knocking, Master. I wanted to let you sleep, but I’ve been checking on you every two hours to make sure you were still, you know, breathing. You were...pretty out of it last night and I would be a pretty bad ‘best friend in the whole galaxy’ if I let you choke on your own vomit, right?” His blue-eyed Padawan explained with a grin.

Obi-Wan just stared. Oh this- this hurt. It was easier last night, when the whole fantasy had a kind of drunken blurriness. Sleeping and waking had brought sober clarity to the dream world. He could see the bags under Anakin’s eyes as well as the sheepish slouch of his shoulders as he instinctively ducked at the door frame. It was just so real.

“Obi-Wan? Are you feeling ok? Do you still feel drunk?” Anakin asked concerned.

Obi-Wan shook his head. He hesitated, before deciding to just go along with the interaction. He didn’t want to risk his subconscious throwing a less idylic scene at him by pretending to ignore this one. And besides, last night had been, all totaled, a huge relief- an unburdening of things left unsaid. This was probably the closest thing to therapy available to him these days, he might as well take advantage.

“I’m just...processing. Not to mention dealing with some mild dehydration.” He finally answered.

“Processing, huh? So does that mean you, uh, remember last night?” Anakin asked nervously.

“I do.” Obi-Wan smiled gently. As heart-wrenching as this was, it was also adorably sweet. Maybe it was worth it to push off waking for a little while. He could get some closure, maybe even work through some of the past to see where the two of them had gone wrong. It might even be helpful for Luke! Force willing, he would probably end up training Anakin’s son someday.

(the boy wouldn’t have many masters to choose from)

If this dream world could help him figure out specifically how he had failed as a Master, then he owed it to the galaxy to see it through. Satisfied, he resolved to let the fantasy play out. At least for a few more more hours. And...he had missed what Anakin had said. Wonderful start.

“I’m very sorry, Anakin would you mind repeating that? I was still a little distracted, but I promise, I’m focused on you now.”

Anakin shuffled nervously. “It’s nothing.”

Obi-Wan tried to project reassurance without actually projecting. “Please Anakin, I’d like to hear what you have to say. I know I wasn’t the most observant or approachable Master, and I’m sorry for that. But I have always cared about your thoughts and feelings.” It was a struggle and the words caught in his throat, but the raw burn of the apology was cleansing in an almost addictive way.

Anakin flushed. “Did you mean everything you said?” he asked nervously.

“I’d...rather not talk about seeing the destruction of the temple, seeing you... Maybe later...but please, I just don’t want to focus on it while I’m sitting here, looking at you,” Obi-Wan said quietly.

“That actually wasn’t what I was talking about,” Anakin responded quickly. “I mean, I do want to help you with that at some point, but I get not wanting to talk about visions, even if you should probably should. Of course if you do want to talk about that stuff, that’s more important, but since you don’t we can talk about the other stuff you mentioned. I was more referring to, you know, us, and what you said about our friendship?” his voice got progressively higher the longer he rambled.

Obi-Wan thought back. “Well some of it is a little hazy, but overall yes. I...for a very long time I’ve considered you my best friend, and its not so easy for me to let go of my affections. I miss spending time with you; there are times I turn to say something and am still shocked you’re not there. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, with real words, how much I cared. I’m sorry I didn’t hug you as much as I wanted, looking back that was a nonsensical Jedi custom. It’s not in the code; it’s just an affectation of dignity. All things considered, the fact that you often snuck out to see Padme doesn’t really bother me.” He paused. “Was that everything?”

“Oh. Yeah, that pretty much covered everything.” Anakin looked embarrassed, but happy. “I wasn’t sure if you were just saying that stuff because you were drugged, or really drunk or something.”

“No, I meant what I said. I suppose it just took an altered state for me to relax enough to actually say it instead of just thinking at you and assuming you would know. I must admit, its difficult for me to maintain this emotional honesty without feeling drunk, but it’s good. This is good.”

“Ah, that’s... wow. So you weren’t drugged? Cody was concerned you seemed to off for much you actually drank.”

Obi-Wan frowned. Hadn’t that been a trip? Vision blurring from desert hovel to some nameless Catina he once visited with Cody. The continuity since then was almost unsettling. But, then again, Obi-Wan always did have a remarkable talent for self-delusion, didn’t he. He waved away the concerns.

“My substance consumption was entirely deliberate and exactly what I needed. There might have been some unknown additions with some unforeseen after-affects, but like I said- I’m not drunk. I’m clear minded and in full control right now and I knowingly accept the current fallout from whatever I took. I could meditate and force purge to completely recenter, but I think it would be far wiser to just see where this goes. Do you disagree, Anakin?”

Anakin grinned widely. “Whatever you say, Obi-Wan. Just remember this is your idea. Also, I’m taking you to the healers tonight if you’re not completely back to yourself.”

Obi-Wan signed, “If I’m not back to myself in 12 hours, than I fully agree that’s a problem worthy of the halls of healing.”

“Right,” Anakin nodded decisively, “I’ll go get you some water then comm Cody to tell him you’re still alive.

Obi-Wan smiled weakly in response. This wasn’t just a hashed up memory; the responsiveness was more that. He quickly got dressed, hands lingering over soft fabrics and sand-free linens.

Anakin dropped off a cup of water; Obi-Wan sipped at it hesitantly. Dear force, this was dangerously vivid. It actually felt like a relief in his parched mouth. Clearly his subconscious was pulling out all the stops to trap him in this soft delusion. He would have to deal with the thirst and hunger until he woke up- it was probably the firmest link he had to his real body.

He took one last look around before rushing out of his room, eager to take advantage of the time.

Anakin looked nervously up from the comm when Obi-Wan started pulling his boots on. “You’re not going out in the temple like this, are you?”

“Of course! I want to visit the gardens and the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Not to mention spend some time with a few of the other Jedi. You might still be the dearest being in my heart, but there were other Jedi that I care for, and dammit I’m going to tell them that.” He finally finished lacing up his left leg and moved to the right.

Anakin was dumbstruck, presumably as burnt by the ‘dearest being’ comment as Obi-Wan was. Then he rallied, “Wow, wow, No. You are not running around the temple drugged so you can, I don’t know, give Mace Windu a hug. I thought when you said you were going to ‘deal with the fallout' from whatever the kriff you’re still on, you meant you were going to lounge around the quarters all day!”

His former padawan physically blocked the door when Obi-Wan started to leave, sounding vaguely hysterical, “You can’t run around loopy! You’re a High Council Member!”

“Not anymore,” Obi-Wan replied bitterly.

“What do you mean not anymore,” Anakin said fiercely, grabbing on to his shoulders . “Did they kick you out? Is that why you’re acting crazy? Did you resign?”

Obi-Wan responded by pulling Anakin into a hug, which was immediately returned, “Of course not, don’t be absurd. Fine, I suppose I’m technically still a high council member, it just seems like a bit of a moot point.”

“What the kark does that mean? You used to dream about being on the council! You’re the wisest Master in any of those stupid chairs!”

‘Master of the High Council’ Kenobi just sighed heavily in response. He maneuvered around the confused errant Knight and into the hall.

"Obi-Wan wait! At least eat something first! Or let me put my shoes on!”

“Very well, you have one minute to make yourself presentable. I only have a few hours before I’m going to need to get back to reality, and the longer I linger the more I fear extreme measures may be necessary.”

“What does that mean?” Anakin shouted from inside. “Extreme measures sounds really ominous, you know.”

“I’d rather not get into it, alright? Let’s just enjoy the here-and-now, eh, ad’ika?

Anakin crashed out the door with less than a second to spare. “What did you just call me?"

“Ad’ika,” Obi-Wan answered, striding down the hallway in the direction of the hanging gardens. “Surely you must have picked up some Mando’a from the troopers?”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t sure if I heard you right, bu- um- ori'vod,” Anakin fumbled out. “Uh, you’re not going to call me that in front of anyone else, right? You do remember that the council already gives us the side eye for over-attachment right?”

Obi-Wan hummed thought fully in responded. “There are far worse things a Jedi could do than admit to affection they already feel. Maybe if I had been honest about my attachments, they wouldn’t have ended the way that...” he trailed off quietly.

“The way that what,” Anakin asked frustrated. “You’re really giving me some emotional whiplash over here, and I’m starting to think that putting off dragging you to the healers is a stupid idea.

“There are far stupider things a Jedi could do,” he responded cheerily. “Oh look, there’s Plo Koon. MASTER KOON!” He shouted, startling the Kel Doran Jedi.

“Yes, Master Kenobi?” He replied slightly concerned as the two human Jedi came jogging over.

“I just wanted to say that I consider my former padawan my family. I raised him, I care for him deeply, and I don’t want to let go of those feelings.”

Plo Koon nodded seriously in response. “I feel just the same about my former padawans, and the Wolffe pack, of course. Denying my attachments isn’t, personally, a practical way to handle them. I’d rather honestly live as an imperfect Jedi than pretend to be a perfect example of the code. If I must have some imbalance, I’d rather it be an excess of compassion than a dearth,” he replied earnestly.

“I always admired that about you,” Obi-Wan replied ruefully. “This might be a little odd, but could I have a hug? I hold you in the highest regard and I’ve realized that there are so many Jedi that I never directly expressed my affection for and...”

Plo Koon didn’t wait for Obi-Wan to finish before wrapping his arms around him. “Of course, dear boy. You’ve had such heavy burdens placed on your shoulders during your life, especially in the last few years; it saddens me to see how deeply they’ve weighed you down. If there’s anything I can do to help, in any way, you simply have to ask.”

Obi-Wan sniffled slightly into Plo’s Shoulder while Plo rubbed soothing circles over his back.

A few passing Jedi gave the embracing Masters uncomfortable looks before hurrying on their way. Anakin stood slack-jawed.

When they finally pulled back, Plo Koon hesitated before finally asking, “I don’t mean to pry, but what brought all this on? I can sense much grief from you, even through your impressive shields.”

“It’s a long story,” Obi-Wan replied, wiping at the corner of his eyes. “I’d rather not get into it.”

“He’s high,” Anakin offered bluntly. “He took something last night and won’t go to medical wing.”

“Ah,” Plo said. “Is that true?”

Obi-Wan looked a little embarrassed. “I have the situation under control. My connection with reality might be...slightly altered right now, but my emotions, and what I chose to do with them are my own. I’m just, taking advantage of a unique opportunity to express myself.”

Plo Koon seemed to scrutinize him intensely, “If you’re sure this is what you need, than I support you. Just don’t do anything too foolish.” he finally offered.

Obi-Wan beamed. “I appreciate you saying so, I thought you would be supportive. Farewell, Master Koon”

Obi-Wan offered a respectful bow and then turned to walk away briskly. Before Anakin could follow, Plo rested a claw on his arm.

“Feel free to comm me if his behavior reaches a point where you think he truly needs a healer. I’m happy to help you drag him there if need be. A little cathartic release isn’t in of itself such a bad thing, but if he starts acting too out of control...”

Anakin nodded in acknowledgment, then ran off to see who else Obi-Wan had chosen to throw himself at.

Part Four

#star wars #obi-wan needs a hug #obi-wan gets a hug #star wars au no 27 #suicidal misunderstanding au #my au #time travel #hello there #@whatsup-gorls #and #@im-da-bronx #i googled what a tag list was and was a bit intimidated by the whole big multistep spreadsheet thing sorry #so i will probably not be doing a tag list for the near future #in any reliable sense #but i am very flattered you asked and am psyched you enjoy the story because i am also very excited about it #also to #@rainbowfam100 #i saw your comment and just thought oh no me too #star wars au #sw #fanfiction #i keep wanting to tag this au with angst and then i read it over and its mostly hugs so know that there WILL be angst #but i guess were not really there yet #ive already written a big chunk of angst with only 2 hugs and both of them are very angsty so i feel confident in my prediction

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kpop-zone · 4 years ago

Text

Twice reaction to seeing you with your new gf when they are not over you yet

Nayeon

Nayeon gasped in shock when she spotted a fraction of her worst nightmare right in front of her. She stopped dead in her tracks and narrowed her eyes in order to sharpen her sight, hoping that her brain was just playing games with her. But unfortunately, the couple that was walking on the other side of the park was not just an optical illusion. It was you and your new...girlfriend. It still pained Nayeon to call her that when it was her who was way more deserving of that title.

While staring at the two of you strolling hand in hand through the park, Nayeon subconsciously started following you, only noticing what she was doing when she was basically standing right behind you. In shock, she dove behind the next bush when she saw that you were about to turn your head, not knowing how she would explain to you as to why she was on your tail.

This is none of your business anymore, you’re better than this. Nayeon thought to herself while kneeling in the dirt, asking herself when she had started to stoop so low. But her jealousy unfortunately disagreed with her. It is your business. Just check whether she’s treating Y/N alright. It whispered into Nayeon’s ear, making her feel less ashamed of her current situation. There was no shame in caring about other people, right? Therefore, Nayeon crawled out from behind the bush, ready to take up the chase again when she ended up right in front of the feet of another person, causing her to gasp in shock.

Please don’t let it be Y/N.

Nayeon thought to herself, but her hopes were crushed a second later when a familiar hand reached into her field of vision.

“Nayeon? What are you doing?”

She knew that her stalkerish tendencies would eventually get her into trouble.

Jeongyeon

“What’s wrong with her?”

Jihyo whispered to Nayeon while observing how Jeongyeon polished the whole kitchen.

“I don’t know, but I think it has something to do with...you know who.”

Nayeon answered and Jihyo nodded understandingly before walking towards Jeongyeon.

“Hey you. What’s wrong?”

The leader asked awkwardly, earning herself an annoyed look from Jeongyeon.

“Nothing. I’m fine.”

The latter mumbled grumpily, trying her best to ignore the worried glances of her fellow members.

“So is that why you are washing a paper plate?”

Nayeon remarked with her head tilted in confusion while pointing at the plate in Jeongyeon’s hand.

Only now Jeongyeon realized that she wasn’t washing a real plate like she had thought, but a piece of paper instead that was slowly starting to disintegrate in her hands. With a frustrated huff, Jeongyeon turned off the tap and leaned against the sink while closing her eyes. What was wrong with her? She had tried everything to distract herself. The dorm had probably never been cleaner before. But nothing helped. The sight of you kissing your new girlfriend was still engraved in her brain. Your lips on hers, your sheepish giggle, your fond gaze. Every single detail played in her head on a loop and slowly she was running out of things to clean in the dorm.

Jeongyeon didn’t know what was making her angrier. The fact that you had a new girlfriend or the fact that she was still bothered by that. Why couldn’t she let you go? No matter how much she martyred her brain, she couldn’t come up with an explanation; at least not with one that she liked. Therefore, all she could do was trying to distract herself, hoping that she could forget about you if she just kept herself busy enough.

Although that clearly wasn’t working till now.

Momo

“...I just turned the blender on without checking whether the lid was on...”

Sana rambled about one of her many accidents that had happened to her yesterday, but Momo couldn’t say that she was really listening to her best friend. Her gaze was firmly fixed on a table just a few feet behind Sana. The sight of the two guests dining there was unbearable, and her face contorted more and more with every second that she stared at them. An unprecedented anger started to rise inside of Momo, and she clenched her jaw tightly. How dare that girl throwing herself at you like that?

Enraged, Momo pulled out her phone eventually, not caring about Sana anymore. She needed to know who that girl was. Gladly, you hadn’t blocked her on Instagram yet and it didn’t even take Momo a minute before finding a comment of the girl under one of your posts. Hastily, Momo opened her account and started scrolling through all the pictures that she had posted.

She’s not even that pretty

What a conceited person

You deserve better

A mixture of anger, jealousy and desperation poisoned Momo’s whole body to the point that she didn’t even recognize herself anymore. Didn’t you know that you deserved the world? How could you settle for someone like that? Her blood was boiling, and everything faded into the background until a sensation on Momo’s arm caused her to flinch.

“Are you even listening to me??”

Sana asked sulkily, causing Momo to snap out of her rage and to quickly lock her phone in shame. How did you still have so much power over her after the breakup?

Momo didn’t want to feel those poisonous emotions anymore, but it was just so hard to let go. Not when she was by your side.

Sana

As Sana walked past a little café in a secluded alley, she couldn’t believe her eyes. She had just stopped to look at the cute decoration in the window, but then something else had caught her attention.

You.

You were sitting at a table a little in the back of the shop, enjoying a nice break while sipping some coffee. But you weren’t alone. A girl was sitting beside you; a girl that you seemed to be fairly close with. You were holding her hand and were looking at her as if she were the only person in the room. Sana subconsciously stepped closer to the window to get a better view at the two of you. It hurt to see you smiling so fondly at that girl, but Sana couldn’t stop staring at you, not even when tears started to pool in her eyes.

She knew that she should walk away and safe herself the pain, but her body didn’t seem to be taking orders from her brain anymore. Instead, her feet dragged her to the entrance of the café and her arm reached out to open the door, completely ignoring her better knowledge that screamed at her to stop. Like in trance, she walked over to your table, not knowing what she would do once you noticed her. All she knew was that she wanted you to stop looking at that girl like that. She reached her goal once she stood in front of your table, causing you to look at her with wide eyes in shock.

“Hey.”

Sana said shakily while smiling, although she could feel how all her emotions were rising up against her, pushing her closer and closer to a breakdown.

Jihyo

“WHO ATE MY YOGHURT?”

Jihyo yelled angrily, slamming the refrigerator door shut causing the rest of the members in the kitchen to jump in shock.

“T-the Greek yoghurt?”

Tzuyu asked shyly and Jihyo gave her a death glare.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was yours.”

The younger one stuttered apologetically, but Jihyo was too enraged to have mercy with her.

“It was in MY shelf!”

She growled before storming out of the kitchen, leaving everyone completely dumbfounded. Everyone knew that Jihyo could be quite emotional and loud, but never had she ever yelled at one of her members like that before. Especially not at the poor Tzuyu. But Jihyo couldn’t help it, she was completely out of it today.

And all because of you.

The only way that she had been able to survive the past month was by completely blocking out your breakup. Jihyo buried herself in work and every time that she felt herself drifting off to you mentally, she changed up a gear, throwing herself in another work project. But then she saw you today; crossing the street arm in arm with another girl, smiling widely, not seeming like you had ever missed her. All her pinned up emotions suddenly came rushing back at once and she arrived at the dorm with a hurricane raging in her head that wanted to break free. Tzuyu had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time, causing all of her dams to break.

Jihyo knew that it had been wrong to yell and that she had to apologize to the maknae eventually; just like she knew that she had to finally come to terms with your breakup. But that was a task for another day. For now, she simply buried her head in her pillow and let out all the bottled-up tears that she had held back for so long.

Mina

“Isn’t that Y/N?”

Jeongyeon asked, causing a stinging pain to shoot through Mina’s heart.

Reluctantly, she lifted her gaze from her food to look where Jeongyeon was pointing, only to feel her breathe hitching in her throat. You were standing in the entrance of the restaurant with a girl by your side. Mina really wished that her eyes weren’t good enough to make out your figure, but she knew that she would probably recognize you from a mile away. After all, you had always felt so familiar to her and just looking at you had calmed her down. Which hadn’t changed in the meantime. Seeing you still had the same effect on her, only that a certain pain made it hard for her to breath when she remembered that you were no longer hers.

“Do you want to go?”

Jeongyeon’s concerned voice ripped Mina from her thoughts and she tried mustering a smile, not wanting to cause a scene.

“No, it’s alright. I’m over Y/N.”

She replied, hoping that the others weren’t able to detect the biggest lie that she had ever told.

Over you? How could she ever be?

You were still the first person that she thought about in the morning and the last one before she fell asleep at night. You deserved to be happy and Mina knew that your new girlfriend was probably better for you than her, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. Mina had tried her best to close the wound that the breakup had left behind, but every time she saw something that reminded her of you, she was thrown back into memory lane, because at least in her memories there was no pain. You were still hers and she was still happy.

Therefore, Mina let her mind wander away again like so often in the past weeks, not hearing a single word of the other members next to her and ignoring reality that was passing by right in front of her eyes.

Dahyun

Dahyun tossed and turned in her bed, not being able to fall asleep for hours already. An encounter today had completely stirred up her emotions and now she wasn’t able to calm them again. Maybe if she had been prepared for the encounter, she wouldn’t feel this helpless right now. But suddenly bumping into you with her by your side had been able to throw her off balance.

At first, Dahyun had thought that she would be able to handle the situation well. You greeted each other friendly and Dahyun even initiated a light conversation. Everything had been going great. But then she had to watch you walk away with her, sparking a feeling inside of Dahyun that she had successfully suppressed ever since your breakup. Regret.

The moment you had turned on your heel and walked away, Dahyun had realized that she would give everything to be the one going home with you. But no, she had just been another acquaintance that you had bumped into today. The girl by your side had now taken her spot and was the reason for the best and the worst days in your life. Although Dahyun hoped that she would bring you more happiness than sorrow. It wouldn’t be useful to anyone if both of you suffered. She hoped that at least you could have the life that the two of you had always dreamt of. Maybe then Dahyun could finally overcome the feeling of regret that was pressing down on her chest. Maybe if you were truly happy, the breakup hadn’t been in vain.

It was all that Dahyun wanted. It was the question that wasn’t allowing her to fall asleep. She needed to know that the two of you had broken up so that you could be happy now.

Therefore, she grabbed her phone from her nightstand against her better judgement and typed in a message for you. Her question was simple, but the answer could be so complicated.

Does she make you happy?

Chaeyoung

“She’s weird today, isn’t she?”

Dahyun asked while staring at the closed door of Chaeyoung’s room.

“Definitely...”

Tzuyu mumbled, equally as confused as Dahyun.

Chaeyoung hadn’t left her room ever since she had returned to the dorm after spending a week at her family’s place. Usually, she always spent some time with the members after being away from the dorm for a while, but this time, she had hardly spoken two words with the rest. Instead, Chaeyoung had went straight to her room this morning, had closed the door and sat down at her desk, leaving the others completely clueless.

Only she knew that this was an attempt at getting her thoughts straight again. At her desk, she had immediately taken out her notebook and started scribbling away. Lyrics, doodles, poems. There was too much chaos in her head to settle for one form of art. Her emotions were all over the place after meeting you in that coffee shop. She had a hard time pinning down how she was feeling exactly. She was excited because she had finally seen you again after so long. Sad because the two of you hadn’t come together like you used to. Angry because you were in company of your new girlfriend.

Your girlfriend.

Whenever Chaeyoung repeated that word in her head, she felt a wave of sadness washing over her. She wanted to be happy for you, but she couldn’t. Something inside of her simply refused to accept that you weren’t hers anymore. Even though there was nothing that she could do about it. She wasn’t a homewrecker. She would never do something to sabotage your happiness. You had moved on, so the only thing that she could do was to create the saddest art that the world had ever seen in hopes that she would eventually run out of sadness.

Tzuyu

“Ok I promise, just five more pictures and then we can keep on walking.”

Nayeon grinned and Tzuyu nodded apathetically. She had known from the start that they wouldn’t be able to see the whole lightshow because the older member would fall into a photo frenzy.

Therefore, Tzuyu waited patiently till Nayeon had found the perfect pose before lifting the phone, ready to continue the photo shooting. But just when she was about to take the first picture, something unexpected caught Tzuyu’s eye, causing her to completely forget about Nayeon who was smiling widely into the camera. Diagonally across from her a person appeared that looked awfully familiar. Tzuyu didn’t need to take a second look to know that it was you. You were still looking as gorgeous as ever and in an instant, she found herself hypnotized by you again. Her gaze was only glued to you, making her ignore all the other persons on the festival. Even the one that was right next to you. It wasn’t until you were walking directly past Tzuyu that she realized that you were holding hands with a girl, causing her to be ruggedly catapulted back into reality.

You were seeing someone else?

Tzuyu couldn’t explain the feeling that was suddenly rising in her chest. She had thought that she had coped with the breakup pretty well till now but seeing you with someone else was too much. Deep down she had always thought that you would get back together eventually. But that wouldn’t happen if you would fall for another girl.

But maybe she was just a friend? Maybe there was no reason to worry?

Tzuyu had to be sure; after all it was her future that was at stake. Absentmindedly, she let her feet carry her towards you, still not taking notice of anything else around her until a shrill voice brought her back to reality.

“Tzuyu?!”

Nayeon asked dumbfounded and Tzuyu stopped dead in her tracks, looking back and forth between you and her friend.

Was it time to be rational or bold now?

#twice reactions #twice imagine #twice #nayeon #jeongyeon #momo #sana #jihyo #mina #dahyun #chaeyoung #tzuyu #girl group reactions #girl group imagines #girl group #kpop reactions #kpop #idolxreader

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years ago

Note

Hey Godly, Did you see the holiday dynamite remix? Jikookers are going crazy over it. But why does it feel like there was awkwardness between them. Jk mostly was not too happy about Jimin all over him. He even left him alone in the end and joined vhope's camera. What do you think about it?

You mean this content?

Hold on, lemme uWu and fangirl over my ship before we jump into the angst...

Jikooooooookkkkkk!!!!!! Shit, I"m ready!! OMG!!!! What in the gay hell is this!!!! YAAASSSSSS! Look here people- THIS IS THE SHIT I SIGNED UP FOR! All the heart aches y'all been given me this year, YOU DAMN RIGHT HEAL IT! JIMIN I LOVE YOU- You whipped sonava bish!! I'm here for it!

BIGHIT TAKE MY MONEY!!! TAKE MY LUNGS!!!! I DONATE MY NONEXISTENT EDGES TO YOUR ALTER. SNATCH IT!!! JK- Jeikei!!! GODDAMN You fine. Yaaaasssss!

Now that, I got that out of my system- on to business. What did I think of it?

I think BigHit is tapping into and utilizing its ships as marketing resources, tools and strategy again. Especially so, this half of the year. Suffice to say, the pairing of the members in this project was a deliberate effort right down to their choices of clothes.

If ever there was a doubt in any body's head as to the commercial value of BTS ships and BigHit's awareness of that fact, as I keep saying, I think this content dispels that.

Jikook's interactions though...

y'all see what's happening right?

I think I understand what you mean by awkward but I don't think you are connecting the right dots on that. In my opinion.

Notice how JK started distancing himself from Jimin right after that relatively intimate moment they had? Does that remind you of anything? He literally physically moved away from Jimin right after and had Jimin running after him. Lol.

I don't know if you are well aware of this, but that is so JK. Well Old JK. Early debut days JK, who was suppressing his feelings for Jimin...

I don't know what has happened between them post JM's birthday- I'm still trying to reconstruct that, but they both have been giving me the vibe they are falling in love with eachother all over again lately- especially Jimin, as I said in a previous post.

I mean prior to that period they seemed to be in a honey moon phase of a sort- Jimin was practically glowing and JK was leaning forward pursuing Jimin...

Now it's all, JK suppressing himself around Jimin and Jimin constantly undressing JK with his eyes- they are terrorizing this neighborhood with those heart eyes honestly. They scare me. Lol.

When Jimin got into JK's space, JK's exe literally crashed. Lol. He was stuck staring at Jimin through the view finder throughout that moment and his heart eyes were coming out. I think he was entranced by Jimin. His walls were coming down. Did you see Tae?

Tae to the rescue. Lol. He literally zoomed over there to snap JK out of it.

Tae has always been that person for JK. Especially in their early days when JK was going through his 'closested' phase and was hiding his feelings for Jimin.

He would literally be stuck staring and drooling over Jimin in certain moments and Tae would either tap him or shout at him to snap out of it. Like in that photoshoot and bangtan behind scenes where Vminkook were playing that game and JK was intensely staring after Jimin when Jimin left the game.

Jk's natural instincts is to physically escape from intense moments when he experiences it with Jimin, but he only does that if he feels guilty about it. From my observation of him, and in my opinion.

And he doesn't feel guilty about it unless he feels it's wrong for him to do that. In my opinion.

So in the past, when he touches Jimin unconsciously and he notices what he's done, he would take his hands away from him as if he's been burned.

He did the same thing in this video towards the end of the video when he was holding Jimin by the shoulder but when he noticed the camera he took his hands away from him immediately and held on to Jin with both hands instead.

He used to do that a lot during their early days when he was pretending he didn't have feelings for Jimin but most importantly, when he was hiding their real dynamics and he didn't want people to know he and Jimin were much closer than they were on camera.

Remember I said, I felt Jikook's dynamics has flipped again in this late half of the year and that Jikook are giving off newly in love vibes? And when I talked about their Blackswan performance I mentioned how I didn't feel they were having tensions or problems in their relationship but that they were having issues with BigHit?

That BigHit was limiting their interactions or had asked them to slow it down?

Personally, I think they've had a setback in their relationship with the company just based on how they are interacting with their 'glass closet.'

In my personal experience with Jikook, and from years of observing the way the company treats them, I feel Bighit doesn't mess with Jikook's glass closet unless they've seen something or come across something- an interaction between Jikook that has the potential to expose their 'sexuality' and put the company at risk. In my opinion.

I think the tension you are sensing and noticing in their interactions is coming from Jikook not treating their glass closet as a glass closet as they used to- I feel they are being restricted and limited in the way that they interact with it.

For the most part, they've been trying to look professional and act professionally on camera. I don't think it's easy for either of them to restrict themselves because you can see the stress they each are experiencing because of that.

It's their instincts against the things they are are used to doing around eachother- so in that Hit 97.3 interview, you could literally see JK fighting against his urges to reach out and touch Jimin or hold him and JM fighting that instincts to- zone out and take Kook in? Visually speaking. Lol. Jimin likes to stare when he is happy... it's weird. Lol.

In this christmas content, you could see JK literally running away from Jimin after their intense moment and removing his hands from Jimin when he saw the cameras.

Throughout the performance, Jimin seemed to be egging him on, and trying to get him to loosen up and interact freely with him on camera- like he used to do in their earlier dynamic when he sensed JK suppressing himself around him.

Contrast this with their earlier interactions in previous contents prior to this performance- mostly the contents filmed with Suga in it. Those seemed to be filmed around the same period....

In those, Jimin seemed very serious and 'less attentive' to Kook which I feel is what prompted people to speculate they were having issues....

In most of those performances including this recent Times Dynamite performance where JK wrapped his hands around Jimin-

JK seemed to be 'subdued.' You could literally see him wanting to interact with Jimin or have moments with him but Jimin seemed- for lack of a better word, 'closed off' to him. Which I feel is what prompted JK to eventually initiate contact with him and wrap his hands around Jimin so they could have the moment he had been craving for- when JK is on a mission to be loved. Chilee. Lol.

This is what I meant when I said there's been a flip in their dynamics. It is also what I meant when I said JK has been asserting himself all throughout the year until recently.

JK seemed to be leaning forward and pursuing JM in one moment and in the next moment JM was giving me the vibes he was the one pursuing JK...

I feel Jk did something he was not supposed to do that, to BigHit and JM, was a risky move with the potential to 'expose' Jikook in a way. In my opinion. Feel free to disagree.

I feel, JM hates it when JK does anything to threaten the glass closet or safety bubble they've worked so hard to have for themselves and undo the trust they have built within the company over the years.

BigHit tends to limit and monitor Jikook in periods when one or both of them have breached that trust they have in them. To me BigHit seems to be moving scared lately. Lol.

If you ask me, my theory- JK tried to out Jikook again. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Lol

Signed,

GOLDY

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anthonycrowley · 3 years ago

Note

this is a genuine question, but if the spnhater blog was part of a sociology project would it even be ethical to use the data gathered from it?

okay, i do actually feel qualified to answer this, because i was actually a soc major in college (and i would like to maybe eventually get my phd, although admittedly right now i am working a 9 to 5 where i don't really use that part of my degree) just please note that while i have done a couple of (minor) qualitative studies, i was always more into quantitative research, which doesn't have the same issues with consent that qualitative does.

would it be ethical? short answer: maybe. depends on what they were planning to do with it, mainly, and how the data was presented, and, depending on how long the 'study' goes on for, if you continue to keep your identity a secret.

long answer: i think the real question is whether or not the data would even be usable for sociology, actually.

for the couple of qualitative observations i've done, i find that consent can get a bit. murky. and when you think about it, it makes sense, and i don't think it's even really unethical - sometimes, sociological observations take place in big, open, public spaces. i've done an observation in a public park, once. two problems arise from this: 1. how could a researcher possibly get informed consent from every single person who happens to be in a public space, every time, and 2. if they did, that would inevitably change how people acted, rendering data useless. you want to see how people act in a situation. think about how you act when you know someone is watching you compared to when you're just doing whatever. it changes, right? in a discipline where you are studying a group and how they behave naturally, this knowledge will likely skew how people behave. you should get consent, when you can, but that's simply not always possible.

the main aspect of consent in sociology when it comes to observational studies is more geared toward anonymity of participants, to the point where someone cannot identify them later, and not outright lying about who you are. (informed consent comes more into play once you've already gotten some of your observational data and perhaps start interviewing people in the group you're observing - at that point you have to identify yourself as a researcher, say what the study is on, talk about how their identity will not be revealed, etc. and actually get consent from the participant). if you're doing a long term ethnographical study, yes, you will probably have to tell residents of the area why you're there - if i wasn't joking about observing people since november 5th, for example, that probably would have been an ethical dilemma in terms of, maybe, people i was following directly, because i would have gotten A Lot Of Data from people who didn't consent or know they were being observed, but if i went to my local grocery store and observed the meat counter for an hour, taking down notes about how people spoke and how they acted, i probably would need permission from the business, but not necessarily the individual people as long as i didn't identify them in any way that could be traced back to them.

the best way i can think of to explain what makes for problems in consent in observational data for sociology is a book from the 1960s called Tearoom Trade by Laud Humphreys, which if you're interested in knowing more about the modern day ethics of sociological research, is basically a manual on what not to do. Humphreys wanted to do research into 'tearooms,' which at the time were a slang term for men's bathrooms where men would meet up and have homosexual sex. problem number one with this is that, well, at the time he was married to a woman and was by all accounts heterosexual*, so he didn't actually have a way to get into these spaces to study participants. what he did was presented himself as a voyeur, so he was allowed entry, and would then observe how these men acted around each other.** that isn't really the main issue with the study though - the real ethical problem came later, because Humphreys would, under false pretenses, interview participants, and he would then record the participants' license plate numbers, find their home addresses, and interview their family members. i hope i don't have to explain to you why that's wrong for like, a bunch of reasons. but his actual observations weren't the problem in and of itself - it was the deception of who he was and the complete disregard of privacy for participants, whether they were a large part of the study conducted by Humphreys (ie a participant who was interviewed) or not.

anyway, circling back. really, the main way that blog (or frankly, any sociological researcher), would be breaching ethics when it comes to observing the tumblr community as a group is if they identified specific people, either through urls or through content. i would argue it may not be wise to directly quote a post, because google exists and the text will be online, but i think as long as you sit back, watch, and discuss what happens around you, you're good, at least until you get to the interview stage. maybe you could argue that if the blog was active for more than like, a couple of hours, they may have needed to get consent of people they were following, but other than that i think the observation aspect is pretty above board. the biggest ethical problem with that blog is more that the blog was deceptive in who they were, which is a problem, but hell, it's a public platform and who's to say the person running the blog doesn't enjoy supernatural? that they're a supernatural blog? i joked about how i was observing supernatural fans since november 5th, and i do enjoy supernatural. if it just went that far, if i just started a separate blog and just. observed for a short period of time, maybe reblogged a few gifsets so people didn't think i was a bot. would that be unethical? i'm not completely sure one way or another.

but i would argue that, if that blog actually were for a sociological study, even if we could determine it was 100% by the books ethical, the data gathered would be completely fucking useless - and for that matter, if i was telling the truth about studying people, that data would probably be largely useless as well. the reason is because both that blog and me actually impacted the community we were quote unquote researching. the blog is now a variable. obviously there is more than one blog, but would those specific people have said those specific things if that specific researcher wasn't there? in general, sociological studies don't have varibles in the same way as psych studies or scientific studies or whatever, because we're studying a group, not the effect a researcher has on a group by doing something the group would not otherwise have done. it's bad research. now, if someone not running the blog observed that, it would probably be fine, but that wasn't the implication. it would be like me sitting in a park and happening to witness a fistfight break out, rather than me doing something to cause the fistfight.

anyway, if it wasn't clear the person who runs that blog (who is not me) is not actually a researcher, and neither am i, currently. but if we were, we probably would have had to be a bit more sound, morally, but there are ways you can get data from an event like that without it being unethical if you don't get informed consent from everyone involved - but you probably would have to be very lucky when it comes to timing. but the person running the blog or their friend certainly could not be the people doing that research. hope that kind of answers the question, if people disagree feel free to discuss.

*this is worded as such because wikipedia just told me, interestingly, Humphreys came out as a gay man in the mid 70s , separated from his wife, and had a male partner from 1980 until his death in 1988. he actually later did a lot of research into gay communities - presumably now from the perspective of a gay man - but, frankly, i think his lasting impact in sociology is still unfortunately on ethics and protecting research participants.

**i suppose it's worth noting, probably because of the above asterisk, that i had heard (yes, before i had heard he came out as gay) that there are theories that the voyeur thing was a front and he was participating to gain entry into these spaces, which he obviously didn't want to disclose, because it was the 1960s and he was married. i only bring this up because, if this were the case, i'd argue that at least the deception to gain entry into the space is no longer really an ethical issue, although the study is still obviously riddled with problems.

#this is a novel also #tw homophobia discussion #kind of tearoom trade sure is A Book #fandom:spn

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artificialqueens · 3 years ago

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Gimme Love, 1/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder

AN: Welp! I started this back in March. It was supposed to be a oneshot and then I realised it was 200 odd pages. Whoops! Another songfic based on music by Joji. This one is Gimme Love, which some of you would probably know, it was circling TikTok for a while. Anyway, more song fics to come!! I hope y'all enjoy! Stay safe in these crazy times!

TW: Mental health, panic attacks

1993

"OK, so you got your apple juice, your finger sandwiches, and grapes. And most importantly, you got your best outfit on. Ready?"

No. I wasn't ready. They were going to eat me up. I knew just by how the 3 bitches off to the side stared and laughed. One of them was swinging from the bus stop pole. It sounded evil, but I hoped she would have fallen over.

"No." I clung to my Mother.

"Brianna." She uttered. She was tired, already having dealt with this before leaving the house. And it didn't help that Grandpa only laughed instead of helping out.

"No!" I said louder, squeezing my tiny fists into her shoulders.

"Look. Everything will be fine. The day will fly in, trust me. And I'll be right here when you get off the bus later." Mom continued.

She gave me a kiss on the forehead and shook me off.

As she smoothed her skirt down, I stamped my foot in a huff. For me, this was the second most ultimate betrayal that had ever happened to me. My Mom was making me go to school. How dare she.

"I love you, girl. Be good and have a great day." Mom said before walking away. My gaze followed, feeling the faucet in my eyes turn on. I was prone to cry baby behaviour around this age.

Now that my Mom was gone, it was all game for the bitches.

"Awww, the little baby needs her Mommy." One of them cooed in her fake voice. "Didn't you know the pre-school bus picks up two hours later?"

"Yeah!" Another decided to join in, "And I bet that's not even your real Mommy."

"She is too!" I clenched my tiny fists at my side. This was half true. I was an adopted child, but to me, Roberta was the best Mother I could have ever asked for. And no one had the right to question that.

"No, she's not! Your real Mommy didn't want you 'cause you're ugly!"

"Yeah, look at your hair. It looks like a fur ball."

"And your clothes are obviously hand me downs."

I stamped my feet again. "That's it! I'm giving you the finger!" I flipped them off. I picked it up from Mom, from the many time's drivers pissed her off. When she'd warn me never to do that, I knew it had some sort of power to it.

But it did nothing. The girls just laughed even more. I had no defences; therefore, I was left helpless.

The bus pulled up, and I was last to get in. The girls warned almost everybody to watch out for the "girl with the weird hair".

I moved down the middle of the bus, my head moving from side to side, hoping to find a seat.

Everybody with a free seat either put their bags on the chairs or put their feet up. I wanted to snap, demanding that they let me sit. But the fear inside rendered me silent.

I was nearing the back, where the 3 girls sat. They smirked upon seeing my face, relishing in the fact I was on the verge of tears. All I wanted was to turn back, get off the bus and lock myself in my house.

But as if someone above heard my innermost thoughts, that's when I heard it.

"Do you need a seat?"

I looked towards the voice. And I froze. There she was, an absolute angel. She looked like a Disney Princess with her bright blonde hair and blue eyes.

I hesitated for a moment. But the bus began to move. So I sat down next to her.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey." Her eyes were observing me, looking me up and down. And I felt even more stunned. "You have funny hair."

"My Mommy says I have lovely hair," I replied in defence.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way. I just never seen hair like that." The girl replied.

My hair wasn't even bad. I just had a massive head of untamed brown curls. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Then again, I had never seen anyone with hair like hers. She looked like she had gone to a salon beforehand. "Your hair looks golden."

"Thank you." She smiled. "I'm Blair. My favourite colour is yellow, and I wanna be a singer when I grow up. How about you?"

"I'm Brianna. My favourite colour is pink. And...I wanna be a politician someday."

"What's a pola...polatichon?" Blair asked.

"A politician." I corrected her. "I don't know what they do. They just shout a lot. And that's what I want to do."

Blair had no idea what I was talking about, but she laughed anyway. And that made my heart skip a beat.

I felt something pelt the back of my head. I grabbed it, looking at the small rolled up bit of my paper in my hand. It was wet. I had just been spitballed for the first time.

Blair looked over her shoulder, and I did the same. It was the three bitches from the bus stop. They weren't even hiding their giggles.

"Not nice." Blair stuck her tongue out at them. Then, turning back around in her seat, she put her hand on mine. "Don't worry about them. I'm your friend, Brianna."

"Really?" My eyes brightened.

"Of course!"

As much as that statement had made my heart soar, how it made me feel like there was nothing to be afraid of…

It was the biggest lie I heard that day.

As soon as I got off the bus at the end of the day, I waved to Blair, unaware that she would be sitting with the 3 bitches the next day.

And then it went on for years, being that ugly girl with weird hair. And it didn't help that I needed glasses later in life.

But I wasn't completely alone. So let me tell you about Jujubee.

2020

"Hey, asshole! I'm pulling in there!"

Jujubee was hanging out the driver side window, flicking the indicator aggressively.

"Juju, can you just...not do that?" I asked, my eyes glued to my phone as I checked how many people had seen my Instagram story. It was a picture of the two of us, showing off our outfits that had been gifted from Alexander McQueen.

"And let that asshole steal my spot? Absolutely not." Jujubee protested. She flipped the guy off, only to receive the same gesture back at her. She wasn't prone to behaving like this. I usually found it absolutely hilarious how loud she could be.

Now, you're probably wondering - two well-dressed ladies in their Alexander McQueen outfits should be seated in the back of a limo, sipping champagne.

I wasn't a fan of limos. They only drew attention.

And with Jujubee hurling dog abuse at the other drivers, I was sure the attention would be on us.

But we made it to the event without any trouble.

Jujubee was hilarious, intentionally and unintentionally. I learned that all the way back on my second day of school. When it was clear to me that I wouldn't be friends with anyone else, I ventured off on my own, exploring the playground and looking for bugs. But, instead, I found her sitting alone in the sandbox.

"Leave me alone. I'm trying to dig to the centre of the Earth." She had said, blowing her shiny black hair out of her face.

I knew she would only reach the bottom of the pit, so I laughed, and I helped her dig. We had been inseparable since.

We grew up together, all the way through elementary, high school and college. And through those years, we had one thing in common - we were the weird ones. The kids who everyone bullied.

Ugh, I hated that word; bullied. It made me feel pathetic and helpless. Jujubee and I, however? We were far from pathetic and helpless. After all, how would we even be where we were if that was the case?

OK, maybe I was pathetic and helpless growing up. No, I was. I had just accepted all the name-calling, the shoving, the damage. Jujubee, on the other hand, would fight against it all.

But back to the current situation. We were now sitting at a table with the other project workers. Everyone was having a great time, and the event hadn't even really begun yet. They passed jokes around, talked about trials and tribulations, and I laughed along.

But I may as well have been alone as I was stuck in my own thoughts. How it was even possible, we were all gathered here for this moment.

I looked at Jujubee, sitting next to me, and felt an overwhelming need to hug the shit out of her. If it weren't for her being so encouraging, then maybe this wouldn't have happened.

"What's up?" She caught me staring.

I lowered my head for a moment, breathing a laugh out through my nostrils. I didn't want to get sappy with her, even though she deserved my gratitude. My best friend, my ride-or-die bitch. Lifting my head again, I smirked. "Nothing. I'm just glad you're on this team." I raised my glass to her before sipping the bubbling champagne.

"Proud of you bitch." Jujubee reaching over and squeezed my free hand.

I was proud of me too. Because, despite all of the shit I dealt with in school, here I was, the manager and director of this whole operation.

All of the hard work paid off - years of trials and tribulations, so many arguments and disagreements. We finally did it. We found a gateway to another world, a parallel universe, a portal in the middle of the space just waiting to be explored.

Of course, people doubted me. They said things like, "Well, it is a dream, all right." How could anyone blame them?

But here we were.

The speaker, Michelle, called me up onto the stage to receive a certificate, all encased in a glass frame. I exchanged air kisses with her and graciously took the award. Jujubee cheered me on as I stood up there, letting people take pictures.

And then came the obligatory speech.

I couldn't lie; I hated public speaking. It was always something I struggled with. But, I never backed down from one. I just liked to keep them short and sweet.

"Long story short, I had dreams, and I worked towards them. So, here I am, an example of the walking embodiment of success. And I thank each and every one of you, ladies and gentlemen. Have a great night."

Short and sweet. The crowd applauded.

Yes, I was told in the past that I'm arrogant, but I disagreed. I'd say confident. And there was nothing wrong with confidence. After all, there has been a stigma around that word. Doesn't it come from a sense of insecurity, the need to tear successful people down because you're afraid to strive towards your goals?

I deserved to feel this successful, for all those times I was laughed at and ridiculed. I look down on all those assholes and let them know that I made it.

I posed for pictures as I held my award, knowing they would be everywhere the next day; in the papers, magazines, the Internet.

This wasn't the first award I had received. I had a shelf full back home, along with all of my past badges. They reminded me that, once upon a time, I was just any other office worker with her yellow badge. And now here I was, the director of the project with my black badge working closely with the government.

I got off the stage and moved back to my chair. Jujubee rolled her eyes, but her smile remained.

"Where's the after-party?" I asked as the audience shifted their attention from me.

Sometimes I never understood how she put up with me. "Don't worry. I got us covered."

She wasn't lying. A few hours later, we were in the apartment of some other rich somebody. Music was bouncing off the walls, the speakers apparently on full blast.

The main lights were out, replaced with multicoloured LEDs dancing around the place. It was as if we were in our own private club.

Jujubee and I were in the crowd dancing, but because I was absolutely wasted, I lost her many times.

No need to panic, however. Jujubee wasn't a drinker. So she'd find me. She always did.

I really did feel sorry that she had to deal with all of my shenanigans.

"Juju, where the fuck are you??" I roared, not that it would do much. Midsummer Madness by 88RISING was blaring now. Starting to stress out now.

I grabbed a champagne flute as a waiter walked by.

"Brianna, I love the dress." A woman leaned over and shouted in my ear. I had met her before at another event, a fashion reporter if I remembered correctly.

"Thanks. It's Versaci."

As I said earlier, it was fucking Alexander McQueen. I was faded.

Somehow I ended up in the bathroom, throwing up all the alcohol I had consumed into the toilet. After I finished, I washed my mouth out, looked at my reflection and said, "Baby, you're a star."

And somehow, I made it back downstairs. I was searching for Jujubee but found someone else instead. And it was fucking Ed Sheeran.

"I love your new song." I lied.

"Which one?"

"The new one." I smiled. "Hey, Ed. You wanna be the first person to go through the portal?" I wrapped an arm around him.

He looked absolutely taken aback. "Of fucking course. My manager will be in touch."

I really hoped he was joking. Why the fuck had I even suggested it?

I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Jujubee. My nerves settled, and I leaned closer to her. "Let's go outside."

I had no recollection of making it out to the balcony. The only thing I remembered happening before then was rambling to many strangers about how much I adored Jujubee.

A few other party attendees were outside too. I wanted to tell them how I didn't deserve Jujubee and that she was an angel. But she quickly steered me away.

I looked out over the city, a happy smile on my face.

"Are you having fun, baby girl?" Jujubee asked, using her favourite pet name for me. She sparked up a cigarette. I wanted to ask her for one, having gone from chain smoker to social smoker in recent years. But I was too distracted by the view.

"Yeah. I can feel it, Juju." I replied, looking at my hands. It was almost like I could actually feel it. The euphoric feeling of success running in my veins. "Good things are coming."

"Oh, I feel it too." Jujubee blew out the smoke and followed my gaze. "You know what? Your Grandpa was a great guy. And I know that he's proud of you."

My smile dropped. And I was silent.

I preferred to avoid speaking about things like this. Emotions weren't something I liked to deal with - another difference between Jujubee and me.

Just the year prior, we both went to see Midsommar. During the scene where the main character is having a breakdown on the ground surrounded by the Hargan woman screaming along with her, Jujubee was captivated. She looked almost like she wanted to scream along with them. And as she squeezed my hand and leaned over to me, she said, "I need someone to do that with me." I replied with a quiet, "Can't relate."

I'm not insensitive. I just feared emotions for two reasons.

1. They could be weaponised against me. And as much as I tried not to let the online hate get to me, I knew that if it ever became personal, then it would hit difficult.

2. The most important reason of all; a childhood full of breakdowns and too many emotions.

Jujubee nudged me. "You wanna go?"

I didn't want to. But I said, "Yeah. I'm...so drunk right now," and turned away from the city view.

"Can I be that annoying whore and ask if I can stay at your place?" Jujubee asked, taking my hand.

She didn't even need a reason. "Yes, you can."

We waded our way through the crowd, made for the door and left. And before I knew it, we were back at my place, lying in my bed. I loaned her a t-shirt to sleep in. I wanted to sleep in my Alexander McQueen. But Jujubee wouldn't let me.

We both lay there, facing the ceiling. I could already feel the oncoming suffering. Usually, I loved moments like these, when time became fluid, when I didn't have to worry about how I had even gotten home.

But my head was pounding, and the loud ringing in my ears was the cause. If I was bad now, I'd be dead by morning.

I could feel Jujubee's eyes on me, and I looked back at her. She was smiling, her brown eyes glimmering. "Almost there, girl."

Despite the pain I was in, I smiled back. I knew this whole thing, the thingy, the portal; it wasn't just my dream. It was hers too.

Fuck, I was hammered.

"Almost there," was all I could manage to say.

Jujubee turned on her side and treated me to some cuddly spooning. "OK, go to sleep, loser."

It was straining on my neck, but I kept my head turned, letting my eyes linger for a moment longer. God, I fucking loved that bitch. Nothing was ever going to come between us, and that made me the happiest.

I turned over, my back relaxing against her torso. Then, before giving in to my exhaustion, I checked my phone. The bright light made me squint at first. And the alcohol in my system didn't help matters.

I checked how many people had seen my story now. The number was blurry. So I aimlessly swiped notifications away.

But I stopped at one message in particular.

Blair: Hey Brianna! Long time no speak. I just wanted to say I saw pictures from your thing tonight. Congrats, girl! Look, I know you're probably super busy, but I'd love to have a catch up with you sometime.

"..." My eyes were wide. Now that was a name I hadn't heard in a long time.

1995

"Do you see Cassiopeia yet?" Juju whined.

I was trying my hardest to find it in the telescope. But the stars were all in clutters; there were so many. "No. I think I see the big dipper, though."

"Really? Let me have a turn!" Juju begged.

I pulled away from the telescope, allowing Juju her turn. Usually, I would have refused, only letting her use the scope after finding what I was looking for.

I really hadn't found the big dipper, but Juju bought it. "Wooooow. That's so cool."

"I know, right?" I smirked.

The backdoor opened, and Grandpa came out in his winter jacket, pj's and his signature slippers. "How many have you girls found now?"

He was carrying two mugs of hot chocolate with whipped cream. I cheered excitedly because Grandpa's hot chocolate was the best, and I'd fight anyone who tried to tell me otherwise.

"We found the big dipper. But that's it." Juju replied, sounding very much let down.

"Don't lose hope," Grandpa gave us our hot chocolate, "some are harder to find than others. I bet there are a lot more constellations out there that haven't even been discovered yet."

I sipped the hot drink, and I could feel it already warming me up. I was so tempted to take my gloves off and let the mug warm them up. But we promised my Mom we would stay wrapped up. "Do you think we could discover one?"

Grandpa took a seat on one of the old deck chairs. "Brianna, you can do anything you set your mind to. Anything is possible."

"One day, I wanna get into a rocket ship and fly away," I said, looking up at the night sky, imagining the scene in my head.

"Hey, Mr Caldwell, are there other people like us? Just looking up at the sky?" Juju asked, taking a sip of her hot chocolate.

"That's an interesting question. I'd say yes, what with how nice the sky is tonight," Grandpa let his gaze trail up, the stars reflecting in his eyes, "But did you know, somewhere far, far away, there are two little girls who are exactly like you. They look the same, they talk the same and even have your names. And they are doing exactly what you're doing right now."

My brows knit in confusion, "what do you mean 'far far away?"

Grandpa looked down again, seeing how intrigued Juju and I was. "Let's just call it the other world. It's basically like our world, but...certain things are different. Like," he paused to think, "maybe cats bark and dogs meow. Or, maybe the sky is pink and not blue. Maybe you girls are actually older, and I'm the young one."

"Do horseys fly in the other world?" Juju asked with much optimism.

"Probably. I don't see why not." Grandpa shrugged.

I glanced up at the sky as if I would somehow just see it. Another world where life was somewhat better.

"Would my Mommy and Daddy have given me up in the other world?" I asked quietly.

Grandpa was silent. His lips were pursed, forming a tight line like there were words on the tip of his tongue that he knew he shouldn't say.

Juju hugged me from the side. I wanted to hug her back but didn't want to cry.

Her hold made me feel safe, so I offered her a half-smile.

Since my first day at school, when those cretins had tried to tell me Roberta wasn't my real Mom, it stuck with me. Yeah, I knew deep down those girls didn't know shit, and Roberta was the best Mother in the world, but I was only human.

As much as I loved my Mom, Grandpa and other family members, I just wanted to feel acceptance from my biological parents.

"Brianna, honey, whoever your family is in the other world, I'm sure they love you from the bottom of their hearts. Just like we do." Grandpa said. He extended his arms out, offering me a hug.

I didn't want it. But I knew I needed it.

That night, we didn't find any constellations. Not that it mattered. After my Grandpa went back inside, Juju and I were set on finding the other world instead.

And this interest went on for nearly a whole year.

It sounded dumb, but we would play games where we were our 'other world selves'. Juju lived in a house full of cats, and they were 'cutest cats in the whole country. So cute they won every pageant!'

And I lived in a huge mansion with my Mom, Grandpa, and my biological parents.

We collectively agreed that our other world selves were the prettiest girls in school, and we had tons of friends. We were so cool, we didn't even have to go to school.

Of course, this started a minor argument between us. Juju would always say, "how can we be the prettiest girls at school if we don't have to go to school??"

"Shut up, Juju! Anything is possible in the other world!"

"Yeah, but it doesn't make sense!"

All of it was so ridiculous. But we loved every minute of it.

I'll never forget the time we built a fort in the woods at the back of my house, and Juju stood under the archway and shouted. "I'm the queen of 'Other World'. Beware ye bastards who enter our domain!"

Then she got upset because she said a bad word and thought she had betrayed her parents.

A few minutes later, I fucked up.

"I, Brianna Caldwell, am the Queen of 'Other World'. I sit on this throne along with my best friend, Blair St Clair!"

Juju was even more upset now.

"Why is she your best friend?? I'm your best friend!" She began to cry.

"Jujubee, it's only pretend." I tried to reason with her.

"No, Brie-Brie. You're always talking about Blair! I know you would rather be best friends with her than me!"

"That's not true!"

"It is!" She wept. "She'll never be your friend, Brie-Brie. She doesn't even like you."

"Take that back!"

"No!"

My anger was bubbling beyond the boiling point. So I shoved her over. "Go away. Now!"

Juju ran off crying.

My teeth were grit, my fists clenched. For about 5 minutes, I stormed around the fort, screaming in anger and kicking the ground.

Mom was freaked out. She knew it was me screaming, so she came running. When she found me, she shouted at me for scaring the absolute fuck out of her.

This only pissed me off more. It took her 5 minutes to get me to chill out.

When I finally explained what happened, she told me it was OK and that we'd be friends again the next day.

It didn't help my mood, so she took me to the mall. It was a rare occasion for us to visit the place. We weren't the richest, what with Mom struggling to keep a job. She wasn't a lousy worker; someone else would just come along who was much more experienced. And without another parental figure to help out, it just meant not much money was being brought into the house.

But Mom decided we'd go to the toy store, and I'd find two dolls, one for me and one for Juju. I made sure they looked exactly like us. Well, considering the nice clothes and great hair, they were our other-selves.

And leaving the building, I was perched on Mom's shoulders, eating the biggest ice cream cone I had ever gotten, when I looked over at the jewellery shop. Two women were leaving the store, holding hands. They leaned in close to each other and kissed.

I just...stared as they smiled at each other, mesmerised by the adoration they so clearly shared.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Brianna, baby?"

"Why are those two ladies kissing?"

Mom cast a quick glance to where I was looking. "Oh. OK, first of all, don't stare. It's rude. But yeah, they're just two ladies in love with each other. That's all."

I looked away, just as she told me to do. "They're in love? I thought only boys and girls could be in love."

"I guess they're still telling you that in school, huh?" Mom quipped. "Well, I'll tell you this, but keep it on the down-low 'cause I don't want no parents coming and knocking on my door saying you're putting ideas into their kids' heads." She laughed. "The truth is; boys can fall in love with boys, and girls can fall in love with girls. You fall in love with whoever your heart tells you to, Brianna."

I nodded. "Uh, huh. OK, I understand." But then, it hit me. "Fuck."

"Brianna." Mom warned. She knew I was prone to sometimes spurting a few cuss words. But she only had herself to blame.

"Sorry, Mommy." And as we left the mall, my brain couldn't stop thinking about what had popped into my head.

Maybe, just maybe, I was in love with Blair.

My mind was taking me back to years prior, still in my first year of elementary school. It was coming up to Valentine's Day, and we all had to make a card for someone in the class. Bit of a weird activity for a bunch of kids who were more concerned if they were getting bikes for Christmas or not.

And I slaved over my card, making it yellow instead of the traditional pink colour, and drawing daisies all over it.

The message read, "You really deserve this. You're welcome." I've always been a poetic genius.

And instead of giving it to any of the boys, I insisted it went to Blair.

I had vague memories of that day. I only remembered her confused face as I handed it over.

I never received a card in return.

Of course, the other kids picked on me for it. But Juju had my back.

"You're all just jealous 'cause Brie-Brie's card is unique!" I remember her shouting.

But of course, they weren't jealous. This concept was foreign to them - a girl gifting another girl with a Valentine's Day gift. But then again, they just didn't know any better.

#rpdr fanfiction #s10 #miz cracker #jujubee #blair st clair #blair x cracker #fluff #coming of age #hurt/comfort #lesbian au #gimme love #grinder #concrit welcome #tw panic attacks #tw mental health issues

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homeformyheart · 4 years ago

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What do you think would be the zodiac signs of various choices characters? Like Blaine's, Bryce's, Rafael's, Raleigh's, Charlie's, Zoey's, Nia's, Oliver's, Edward's, Ayna's, Jackie's? Mention any others too if you want.

i love this ask!!! if i got the wrong person, e.g., you meant a different charlie/zoey, let me know. this post is gonna get too long so i’ll stick to who you suggested for now and just sun signs without overthinking it too much but always happy to do more.

i was researching sun/moon/venus signs recently for my ocs so this is definitely top of mind and was so much fun! moon signs might delve into headcanon territory and need more research but happy to do those too!

*note: zodiac sign interpretations are very subjective! you are free to disagree, just don’t send hate.

listed in alphabetical order by first name under the cut:

ayna seth (foreign affairs, as of ch. 3) – virgo

it’s a little early in the book to really assess ayna but based on the few conversations + diamond scene, i’m going with virgo individuals being respectable, hard-working, self-sufficient, and self-contained with a love of knowledge. virgos may be a bit shy when meeting someone new and have a pretty strong sense of responsibility. i just get the vibe that ayna will become more comfortable with MC over time and open up more but struggle with being responsible / appropriate given she’s MC’s TA.

blaine hayes (foreign affairs, as of ch. 3) – aquarius

okay to be honest i did this one last because i don’t think we know enough yet – i don’t buy the surface-level rebel / don’t care what parents think act. it could be wishful thinking, but we’ve seen it with other characters, there’s some hurt or something deeper. so without projecting on future chapters, it was between sagittarius and aquarius, (maybe i’ll change my mind as the book progresses), but given that blaine seems a little jaded, i went with aquarius because of the description “many aim to free themselves from personal and social conditioning” as well as traits of encouraging forthrightness, coming off aloof, and cleverness / wit.

bryce lahela (open heart) – aries

oh mr. lahela… how to sum up such a big personality in one word? i’ll try with aries - the active, physical energy of aries and using their body to get things done seems to fit bryce; there’s a lot in the books about the physical ways in which he gets things done or works through things, whether it’s exercise or surgery. other fitting characteristics include being direct and straightforward. and if this doesn’t describe bryce, i don’t know what does “they’re not given to long, drawn-out emotional moments; nor are they big on planning ahead” – the planning ahead part certainly reminds me of his growth process with keiki.

charlie smith (distant shores) – aquarius

charlie’s a very interesting one, i almost went with sagittarius but i think aquarius fits her better because of her emphasis on personal freedom, equality, and fairness (her birth circumstances and tense relationship with her father motivating that). other characteristics of an aquarius that i think are fitting include being observant, clever, and occasionally idealistic.

edward mortemer (distant shores) – taurus

these characteristics stick out to me for the captain – loyal, temperamental, dependent, and possessive but are known to have jealous streaks and may be prone to resentment. if you romanced him, there were small moments of jealousy regarding oliver and we all know his temperament and resentment ran deep whenever the admiral was involved.

jackie varma (open heart) – capricorn

strong capricorn vibes for ms. varma in my opinion, specifically “feet-on-the-ground, eye-on-the-prize” vibes and getting things done. capricorns want to do things that are worthwhile and focus on those, being resourceful and very practical in achieving things – i think this is really clear in her story arc with panacea and how she approaches it with a strong realistic sense of what’s practical vs. idealistic. also a bonus – deadpan humor and sarcasm are strong in capricorns.

nia ellarious (blades of light and shadow) – leo

when i read up on leo characteristic, this just screamed nia – they do things with intensity and determination, motivated by affection for people and wanting to make them happy, and have a very noble inner code they answer to but are self-aware and humble. we all saw how nia reassessed her beliefs when her faith in the temple was shaken, and she grounds herself in what she believes at her core to be the right thing to do.

oliver cochrane (distant shores) – capricorn

poor oliver got sidelined but i think capricorn’s realistic, grounded approach to things and wanting to do things worthwhile fits him. capricorns are also known to be reserved at times and not big risk-takers, but do have a strong sense of tradition and responsibility. i think that fits oliver’s backstory and relationship with the navy/his dad well up until the end of the book.

rafael aveiro (open heart) – pisces

mr. soft heart aveiro is sooooooooo a pisces – sensitive to criticism and others’ feelings, wouldn’t hurt a fly, and have a hard time saying no. he’s incredibly compassionate and finds ways to express himself creatively – such as with food or dancing.

raleigh carrera (platinum) – aries

i did think about this for a fic prompt fill (goes to read the fic & refresh my memory) and when i think of raleigh i think confidence and quick-witted, but also stubborn, energetic, and impatient – all traits associated with the aries sign.

zoey wade (queen b) – gemini

i’m only halfway through queen b but i feel like the gemini characteristics of cleverness / wit, getting easily bored if the conversation doesn’t provide enough mental stimulation, not easily intimidated, and ability to be observant and objective seems to align to what i’ve seen so far.

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dreamiesdotcom · 4 years ago

Text

complicated (slow spin-off) | z.cl, h.rj

Summary: Think of heartbeat, only a little faster. And more demanding. Afraid? Hurt? In love? How different are they supposed to feel? Free fall. Stardust. Rose. "Perhaps, everyone just falls in love with their best friend," Renjun drawls out, "Even just a little bit, from time to time."

Word Count: 2.9k

All Renjun ever wanted was peace, an alien friend, and a book that hits him right in the gut.

The thing Jaemin does where he's hopelessly in love? None of that — they're almost always falling for each other in such different times that they never align, and when they do overlap, one's feelings is already dying down.

The thing that Jisung does where he looks at Jaemin like he's terrified? Terrified because of how much he loves him in the way he shouldn't? Yeah, Renjun wants none of that as well.

Chenle, too — this boy, how Renjun doesn't want to feel whatever hell it is Chenle goes through every day.

Watching the boy you adore, who happens to be your best friend, fall in love with your other best friend who's in love with your other best friend just sounds like an experience he doesn't want to have. Pining is one thing. Pining this aimlessly is another.

Looking through a classmate's camera as he finds the shot the other asked him to look for? A whole new level of complicated feelings and friendships and he doesn't even want to know. They have a project and that's about his business — so he doesn't judge nor pry, but he chuckles, "Jeno-ssi, did you give me the wrong camera, or am I only supposed to see candids of Donghyuck?"

Jeno blushes red, stutters an apology. He fiddles with his gadget a bit, messing with cards. For the meanwhile, Renjun decides to go and buy coffee for the both of them. It's trouble, really, since he already can't feel his legs from sitting so long but then it might be for the better.

It's less of a drag from when the other sweetly mutters a thank you, and it's a pity that Renjun didn't really get to focus on that.

"Hey, you're welcome and sorry to interrupt you but... Jeno?" he squints at the street outside. He carefully, slowly, sits back down on his chair and gets a clearer view — he can't believe the sight in front of him. He calls the other again, "Am I seeing this wrong, or is that Lee Donghyuck?"

Jeno raises a brow and looks to the side, the park opposite the store they're sitting at — certainly, at 3 a.m in the morning, the boy at question is there. He's walking past streetlights, a cup of coffee in his hands, and now he just sat at the swings.

Now, Renjun isn't his friend; he's not interested in him one bit, but he's not blind either. At one glance he knows that Jeno likes Hyuck, and at one glance, he knows that the person at the park is definitely the said boy.

Again, that's not his business, but that's also not what he's looking at.

Lee Donghyuck seems to be giggling, the brightest smile on his face as he gently swings — only he's not alone. He's with a very familiar person, one of Renjun's best friends, the subject of Na Jaemin's love.

"Uh. Yeah," Jeno nods, turning his head back to his laptop one beat late. He hands Renjun the camera, this time with the appropriate card. Renjun doesn't miss the dull sparkle in his eyes as he forces out a laugh, "Let's get back to work?"

They're not particularly close friends, so Jeno's feelings are not his business; he doesn't think he should even know about it, but hey, it's either that he wasn't so discreet or that Renjun's just observant — it's not his fault that he hesitates a bit, especially when Jeno blinks away his tears like that.

He doesn't want to make it awkward, still, so he nods.

Questions flood his mind as they work silently, questions much like 'Why do people do this to themselves? Of all the people you'd fall for, why your best friend? Is it because you're always close? Is it the mutual understanding?' He doesn't understand at all — looking at Jeno, he's really, well, an elegant person. Not to mention, kind as well. To be realistic, most people fall in love with looks at first so no doubt people adore Jeno, and yet... yet he's here, waiting on a possibly unreturned affection.

But then to consider, Jisung is stunning. That didn't make Jaemin love him the same way. What the hell is this mess?

"It's already 4:30, so what do you say we head home now?" Jeno proposes, and he snaps out of his stupor. Renjun absentmindedly nods.

They walk side by side in peaceful quiet until they part to the direction of their own homes. Before he reaches his, he remembers the pictures from Jeno's camera: snapshots of Donghyuck's sweet smile occupies the camera's memory — one where he's dressed up as an angel, one where his eyelids glimmer of gold eyeshadow and glitters, many of where he's laughing and not looking at Jeno's direction. Some of where he's wistfully staring at his phone.

It kind of reminds him of Jaemin to Y/N, or Jisung to Jaemin, or Chenle to Jisung. Now, whenever he looks at lines that never meet, he'd think of Jeno and Donghyuck as well — because Jeno doesn't need to say it, but his eyes do the work for him. Renjun doesn't need words to figure out that Jeno's in love.

Renjun worries about him a little.

####

Whenever something intriguing happens, he's almost always accidentally there — back then, when he and Jeno saw Hyuck and Y/N, and now, standing a few meters away from Chenle and Jisung.

He doesn't understand — all he wanted was peace, an alien friend, and a book that hits him right in the gut. Watching his friends do this thing they're so bad at is easily not something he signed up for.

He could look away. He could turn and walk the other way since obviously, Jisung and Chenle would feel awkward if they realized he's there, but then he heard it. Chenle's question. It makes his heart miss a beat.

"How many times are you gonna keep on breaking your heart?"

Renjun furrows his brow. Could Chenle even answer his own question? It's all too ironic. It's none of his business, but it's all too ironic.

He realizes at that incredibly strange moment that Jisung and Chenle appeared like a movie scene, or a drama, whatever works. Something in the way they stand in front of each other is oddly pleasing, an aesthetic so hard to get enough of. If not for the anguish in Jisung's eyes as he falls on Chenle's arms, Renjun would say that it's the perfect sight.

Before all of that, Jisung had smiled and answered the other's question: "How many times can your heart break for the person you love?"

Chenle only stretched his arms as a reply, an invitation for a consoling hug. "Never too much," he wanted to say.

Renjun could see.

How in the world they don't notice him there, Renjun doesn't know. By now, he figures he should be used to his friends being dense. He means, well, they had these feelings for each other for as long as he can remember and if Huang Renjun, Mr. It's-None-Of-My-Business-So-I-Didn't-Know, noticed whatever the hell this mess is, surely they should've known long ago, right?

Chenle stands there alone. Jisung must've left earlier during the time he spent spacing out. He stands behind the other, a reasonable distance away so he still doesn't figure out he's there. He waits for him to resume walking; for five minutes, he doesn't. Renjun makes himself known by rushing and cheerily slinging an arm on the other boy.

"Hey, Zhong Chenle, whatever it is you've been doing these days, how did it go?"

"Same old, I'm amazing," he airily says, startled but comforted at the knowledge that it's a friend and not someone trying to kill him. "Haechan hyung wrote a song. I'm certain it's for Y/N."

"Really? That's sweet," Renjun can just begin to imagine the blush at that friend's cheeks if Donghyuck decides to sing the song on the school showcase. It should be a fun night for them! Jisung is performing, Chenle too, Jaemin as well... his smile dies down a little at the other's name.

"But... Jaemin, though."

It's something he shouldn't know — pretty sure Jaemin thinks nobody knows about his feelings, but then again, how can he hide anything from anyone when he looks at that person with hearts for eyes?

"Yeah. I'm worried for Jaemin hyung and Jisung," the younger wistfully sighs, tugging the other to walk on his pace. He sighs again. "You know how he is."

"I do. In fact, I'm worried about all of you," Renjun hums. Chenle raises a brow, but Renjun makes note of the split-second panic in the younger's mask of faux confidence. Renjun smiles, "I'm worried about you, Chenle-ah."

He makes an odd sound aiming at nonchalance, and it scares him how natural he sounded as he fakes a laugh. He slings an arm on Renjun, making them walk the opposite direction of where they should be going, "You've been working hard and you're saying nonsense now. Let me just treat you ice cream — trust me, hyung, you need it."

The older of the two sighs and decides to let it go. Before that, though, Chenle smiled at him and shook his head, "What's there to worry about me?"

Internally, Renjun wanted to pull him into a hug. In his mind, he'd held his friend and answered, the heartbreak you feel in silence.

###

Back then, Jaemin told Renjun something very interesting — something about the way he glances at people.

As an example, Jaemin had said then that Renjun looks at Y/N like he does to his favorite book, full with wonder — Do you know how loved you are? How many people love you... how many hearts broke for you... how beautiful and conflicted you are — and well, he agrees. He does feel like that.

Jaemin said Renjun looked at both him and Jisung like twin stars, as if the world is never correct unless they're side by side. One is always beside the other, even when one is shrouded behind clouds.

Secretly, Renjun disagreed: he feels like he looks at them like a scene that was supposed to be but never was. An accidental masterpiece that never occurred because the artist was too careful.

Jaemin said Renjun looked at his almost acquaintance Jeno with a strange kind of familiarity, like they knew each other for several lifetimes but never dared to actually get to know each other; he stared at him as if they were identical. As if somewhere in the boy with hopeless love beating in his heart is a part he relates to.

But Chenle... Jaemin said he looked at Chenle like his heart broke. He didn't go into detail, he refused to, and it left him confused.

A year, seven months, and two weeks from that event, Renjun realizes just why, and he figures out that after all, most things in life are not a choice. Maybe that's why people continue to adore hopeless cases.

All Renjun ever wanted was peace, an alien friend, and a book that hits him right in the gut. He never asked to realize that all those years, he refused to acknowledge something, a big part of him. He never asked to be one of those people who couldn't control their feelings.

"You were a dream that shined brightly above me..." Renjun reads, the words more saccharine and dreamy when it's spoken in his voice, "and just like the fate of a gazer and a star, you are so far from my reach. But still, you've had me at first sight, and all I wanted was for gravity to let me fall from Earth and then into your hold— this doesn't even make sense."

"Yeah, but only because you skipped to that chapter, dummy." Chenle grumbles, stealing back his book, "These are references. They're referencing to the past events you didn't get to read."

"Yeah, but still. It's unrequited love." Renjun answers, "It's way too complicated for me."

The wind blows, an addition to the cold lingering in the air. Jaemin isn't present tonight as he's dealing with the consequences of procrastinating essays for weeks, so naturally, his best friend Y/N should be there too. Renjun wishes no heartbreak to his pure, lovesick heart — something in him knows that it's where everything will lead to, but he hopes it'll go easy on him. Jaemin deserved the world, none of the painful side of it.

Jisung didn't come today, too. He's busy with his performance, perfecting every snap and every turn, every single move that completes his routine. Maybe it's a diversion for him. Renjun prays he doesn't overwork himself, and he hopes the younger doesn't go harsh on himself, he hopes he doesn't beat himself up for falling for someone who was too busy hoping to catch somebody else.

Jisung deserved the world, as well. All of his friends did. Renjun finds himself quickly growing fond of them all from their most lovable traits down to their unnoticeable flaws. He loves them all each a different way, all with the same intensity.

This one, though. This one might just be a little too special.

A deep frown leaves him as he decides to lay down the grass he's previously been sitting on, and Chenle bemusedly laughs, a small sound compared to his usual.

"You're smart. That's why everything is way too complicated for you."

And it's there again, the longing in his gaze, the one Renjun knows is for someone else. The omnipresent feeling of telltale heartache signs floats around him like lustrous fireballs, but the boy beside him seems iridescent, each a different color on every side. If Renjun closes his eyes long enough, he could just imagine himself having control and not fading at the sight of every view.

"You know, don't you?" Chenle asks, turning his head away from the other and staring up at the sky instead. He compares to an epic painting. "I'm in love with Jisung."

"And Jisung is in love with Jaemin, Jaemin who is in love with Y/N," he adds in affirmation, knowing it's what Chenle wants to hear but his mind is far away from being lucid to that thought.

In his mind, he adds, but me? Do you know that I'm in love with you? He shakes that thought away, "I know. I know you guys, and it's not hard to see."

Carefully, Renjun adds, "The words each of you refuse to say... they're in your eyes. All the time."

With him laying down like this, the other resembles the Little Prince from the book Renjun always loved. His blonde hair sways with the wind and the things it does to Renjun makes him heady of stars. Chenle shrugs, "I thought you'd be mad. It could've ruined our friendship."

Think of heartbeat, only a little faster. And more demanding. Afraid? Hurt? In love? How different are they supposed to feel? Free fall. Stardust. Rose.

"Perhaps, everyone just falls in love with their best friend," Renjun drawls out, "Even just a little bit, from time to time."

Now, he gets a little bit of what Jaemin was trying to say but refused to explain: Renjun looked at Chenle like his heart broke. He looked at him like that, and a thousand more unsaid ways he didn't even know existed. He looks at him like all he wanted to do was tell him his feelings, but he was so afraid. He looked at him like he's afraid that he won't fall in love as hard as this anymore, like he's scared that one day he'd be unable to adore someone romantically because they're not this boy, his greatest love.

He looks at him like all he wanted was a sight so beautiful he overlooks the other, and arms so warm he doesn't seek this one-sided fire, like he craves for a drink that'll burn away the confessions stuck on his throat and trapped on his lips.

He looks at the boy he loves with lenses of blue, that in a way where he isn't really sure if he wanted to forget or remember. All that he knew was he wanted to be loved.

Chenle chuckles again, but this time he lets himself fall down and lay beside Renjun. He reaches his hands to the stars, dwelling on how much smaller he is than these speckles of lights, and swears on each and every one of them — "Friends forever?"

"Best friends," Renjun corrects. "You, me, Y/N, Jaemin, Jisung — best friends forever."

And he said it a hundred times, he wants to say it a million more. He wouldn't wish any other way for all of them but always; there is so much he wants to share, so many things he wants to experience with all of them.

They're best friends forever, they've said that a hundred times. He wants to say it a million more.

But somehow, sitting underneath the stars with only his favorite book and Zhong Chenle beside him, it doesn't feel right.

It doesn't feel right to be just best of friends.

#yellow tag 💛#nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #haechan x reader #nct 127 imagines #nct dream blurbs #nct dream drabbles #member x member #jisung x chenle #renjun x chenle #jisung x jaemin #jeno x jaemin

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fiveisnumber1 · 4 years ago

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So we discussed this a couple days ago that how Lucas and Dean's dynamics are totally different to Luther and Diego's even though they're all the Idiot Four together. I finally came up with the perfect scenario to display that (Warning, it's long xD) :

So something goes wrong on a mission. I'm not quite sure what but let's say (off the top of my head, feel free to change it) Lucas and Dean disagree on a strategy that combines both their powers in the middle of a fight and as a result: Viktoria gets impaled in the shoulder with an arrow meant for a criminal, Five ends up jumping in front of a misfired bullet that was meant for Addison in an attempt to push her out of the way cuz she's distracted cuz of Viktoria and it jarrs her enough that she forgets to keep the criminal's attention who then knocks out the Reader for a couple of minutes who was coming up behind him. Bren is busy fighting another one with Kenny but luckily they manage to get the situation under control.

They come back home with few injuries given the severity of the situation but Viktoria and Five have lost a lot of blood. Addison and Reader have bruises and scrapes and the rest of them are also not quite well cuz this is the first time they had a mission that went quite so terrible.

The result is a horrible blowout in the parlor. The Hargreeves are worried sick and their questions to the anxious teens keep pushing and it ends up with Lucas and Dean straight up starting a fistfight until Kenny and Bren have to hold them apart and Addison comes in between them. (Reader is with Five and Viktoria, helping Grace patch them up).

The fight lasts for a couple of days and no amount of pushing from the Hargreeves has them agree to work it out. It only serves to make them more moody. The H8 mostly let them work it out on their own because they know they will, this isn't the first time. Although the Reader as the leader does make it a point to say the accident was nobody's fault and that not every mission is bound to go perfectly.

The following week Diego and Luther seek out their counterparts. Diego talks to Dean about always feeling frustrated cuz of Luther's pigheadedness and refusal to listen and how he understands how Dean must hate having to compromise for Lucas' ego. Luther complains about how Diego never listened to his authority even though he was team leader and tries to be sympathetic to Lucas saying he understand what it's like to have your better judgement ignored. They're both surprised when Dean and Lucas are more sad than angry at each other and are surprised when both teens get angry at the elder's projection on them

In the end, Luther and Diego end up observing how Lucas and Dean interact when fighting and see that even if they make snarky comments in the same vicinity, they never directly attack each other at their weakest points. It's mostly their usual jokes but with a bit of edge. Neither of them bring up the fight or serve each other the blame again. They even look sorrowful when Dean sees the bruise on Lucas' face and Lucas winces seeing Dean's limp.

They make up about four days to six days later. They both apologize. They sit down and talk. They end up hugging and then half an hour later they're laughing again and they're genuinely sorry. Maybe they even cry cuz they were so worried the other would still be mad at them for not cooperating.

Idk if someone would actually knock some sense into them beyond that. I think it's necessary cuz they are kinda thick sometimes. I feel like Luther and Diego would be confused about how the younger two got over everything so quickly and Five and Reader are in the room and basically tell them that "This is what you could have been if you weren't always fighting for Dad's/Reggie's approval."

And that's when Luther and Diego realize that Lucas and Dean have never fought each other for the title of smarter or more powerful. Heck, none of the H8 have. Even Five doesn't say he's better than the H8 (other than very rare teasing) even though he still occasionally says it in frustration to the Hargreeves and he actually means it. And Luther and Diego feel ashamed cuz these two boys who are so similar to them, put their affection and trust in each other first and their desire for power last and it's just a very humbling moment.

This ended up being really long but tell me what you think. If you'd add or change anything and whatnot etc.

I think since Viktoria’s skill relies on her ability to play the viola she wouldn’t be in the middle of the action where she could get hurt like that. Especially, since the fact that she needs two hands to play, she probably wouldn’t be anywhere near where someone could come at her. So I can’t see her getting hit with an arrow. I can see the reader getting hit by an arrow that had a messed up trajectory because Dean got distracted. And then I can also see that leading to a series of unfortunate events. The reader gets hit in the shoulder area with a stray arrow and accidentally throws one of her knives. Instead of it hitting a criminal it hits Addison in the leg sending her to the ground. With Addison on the ground, it gives way for the criminal the knife was supposed to be for to gain access to other members leading to some minor injuries for them.

Like this would cause a real fight because that means Dean directly hurt the reader who he sees as his twin sister and Lucas indirectly led to Addison, his girlfriend getting hurt. Not only would they be pissed at each other over the dispute that happened to cause these injuries but they’d be so upset with themselves. I also imagine along with them being upset with themselves,, on top of it you have Five, with all he has been through worried once more about his girlfriend.

And I agree that they would both be more so sad at the fight than angry because they’re homies, they’re best friends, and they didn’t mean it.

They definitely would be angry at Luther and Diego for projecting onto them though because just because they can’t get along and treat each other as equals doesn’t mean that Lucas and Dean can’t as well. They may be similar mini versions but they’re not carbon copies. And it throws Diego and Luther for a loop because it’s just like “wow are we really that messed up?” especially after the reader and Five point out that they were pitted against each other by Reggie.

But yeah those are my thoughts!

#H7 asks #H7 headcanons #H7

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taurealuna · 5 years ago

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Relationship between the 12th house (our subconscious) and 1st House(our personality and conscious thoughts)

hello fairies! this is gna be a very long post !! this post was made based on some observations as well as learning astrology over the past few years, so enjoy reading! 🤍

the relationship between 12th house and 1st house has always been interesting for me, because I believe that they are highly interlinked with one another. just like how the 12th house, which rules over our subconscious fears, worries, desires and thoughts gets translated into our 1st house, our conscious thoughts, how we view the world as well as how we cope with the subconscious fears that we have, everything is a piece to another puzzle!

for people with a duplicated 12th and 1st house, there’s a chance that their subconscious thoughts and struggles are more easily shown to others, making it easier for them to project and assert themselves as well. this topic is very broad as well and of course will differ from person to person. feel free to add in your own experiences based on your signs! just a disclaimer, I am not a professional astrologer, this post was purely for learning purposes. if there are any areas you disagree with do feel free to discuss here! it would benefit everyone a lot. thank you 🥰💕🌈

energies of an aries 12th house: these people are restless and rash, just like a child who refuses to be put to sleep. within them, they harbor a deep sense of love and desire to explore the world and treat it as their oyster. they love how down-to-earth this world is, and they love spontaneity as well as adrenaline rushes. however, as they grow older and experience more, this scares them too much as well, because they know how uncontrollable this exhilaration and impulsiveness can be. they can foresee and damage as well as the pain. it feels like a child sprinting full speed on a grassy land and suddenly tripping over a rock, only to fall face-flat with their knees scraped bloody. these people when young, were likely to be active and outgoing in a way. as they grow older, they realise that a lot of things in the world is can be solved by observing. many things in the world are also consistent especially with the logic behind things. if you do not do the wrong things, people will not punish you. this causes them to look before they run next time, or they would not run at full speed anymore. instead, they realise the importance of understanding where they are running on and run in a more careful manner. as they mature, they are less rash and less childish, just like their taurus ascendant. with their taurus ascendant, they are more appreciative of the finer things in life that they have missed out on when they were younger, but this doesn’t mean that the taurus ascendant is less active and less likely to chase for their goals. being the 2nd sign of the zodiac, taurus is young and ambitious as well. this taurus ascendant will harbour the passion and need for excitement deep within them and move towards their goals, no matter how long it takes. an angry bull that runs at full speed is able to blow up a storm as well. of course, this is for developed taurus ascendants. an under-developed taurus ascendant may struggle with asserting themselves and tapping into their passion. because of this struggle, they try to be as pleasant and consistent as possible, hoping that this volcano explosion within them would cease. 🍁

energies of a taurus 12th house: a taurus 12th house when young would fear being too stagnant, stuck in a routine and having a fixed set of expectations. there could be times where they have felt let down by their expectations, as well as a lack in security. this security can be in a form of parental assurance, love from their family and friends, financial support or feeling like they don’t fit in. deep down, they could subconsciously view the world in a fixed way, where they believe “oh things are probably going to turn out like this” and thus they translate this energy into their gemini ascendant. with a gemini ascendant, their minds are swift and they are quick in catching onto concepts and new ideas easily. they are logical and witty, because deep down they are looking for things and ideas that can help them fill the void, to feel a sense of security that their 12th house has never given them. similar to their sister sign sagittarius, their quest for learning and communication could be used for them to relieve their anxiousness and lack of security. when a gemini rising is well-developed, their taurus 12th house helps to give them a sense of motivation and determination to follow through with what they want. the gemini who is prone to anxiousness and anxiety can finally sleep better at night when they are self-aware and gain the security that they need. they are comfortable with what they have, what they know as well as their lifelong quest of learning. 🏜

energies of a gemini 12th house: these people may have grown up with a lot of thoughts rushing through their mind, as well as anxiety. they could have been smart growing up, but they felt uncomfortable showing their full abilities. when gemini falls on the 12th house, it also makes for a deep understanding through a logical mind of the world and how it works. these people could also be extremely self-aware and at the same time have a deep understanding on how others are. growing up, they may struggle with sharing and understanding who they are deep down, and struggle with finding safety and familiarity because gemini is such a dual sign. they are like two sides of the coin, and the individual can never see both sides at the same time. because of this, they turn to their cancer ascendant, where they seek stability and comfort from the world around them. with this struggle within them, they long for a comfortable home that they can turn to when they feel upset and lost. they are highly in tune with the emotions of others, because they feel the depths of emotions within them as well. they are soft, loving and calm when developed, because they no longer struggle within themselves, because they realise that the world cannot be figured out in a logical way. they may seek friends or partner who are more dominant and less confused about lives than they are. this confusion is likely to be less taxing on them as they get older and more stable in life. 🦌

energies of a cancer 12th house: these people may fear being too comfortable or being in situations that are too overwhelming, because of how heavy it feels. growing up, these people could have been just like a warm fuzz, they are comfortable in their environment and their own skin and loved making new friends. they were likely also well-liked for their personality and actions and people felt the need to “own” them or keep them by their side. as they grow up, this tangled relationship makes them wary instead, because of how heavy the emotional attachment felt to them. they could have felt restricted or held-back from being who they are individually. because of this, they learn to embrace themselves for who they are and start to shine individually, just like their leo ascendant. whilst deep down they are emotional creatures, they would prefer keeping it to themselves and letting the emotions flow through them when they are alone, because they have seen how people can be manipulative emotionally. if under-developed, leo risings may also become too focused on themselves and turn emotionally manipulative as well. when well-developed, these people will find a balance between themselves and others and their positive emotional nature shines through naturally from them. 🧚🏼‍♀️

energies of a leo 12th house: growing up, these people could have been put under the spotlight or under a lot of pressure from adults around them to be the golden egg, the special child, the child that will make it in the future. they are likely to have heard praises since young on how capable, how talented and good they are. whilst they may have enjoyed in when they were young, this places a subconscious pressure of these individuals, and growing up they could have acted very properly with manners just like an aristocrat. they themselves could be unaware of this pressure, because they see themselves as the golden egg that they are. deep down, they have a lot of pride and expectations of themselves, which is why they are likely to be acting in a prim and proper manner, just like their virgo ascendant. because of the pressure that their environment brings, these leo 12th house individuals could have developed some anxiety when asked to show their craft or talent. they try to analyze their surroundings and try to figure out how they should act in order to be as non-imposing as people. they may have the tendency to dim their light in order for others to shine. the virgo’s helpful nature will show here through these individuals trying to find out who they are through helping others. instead of facing the pressure head-on, they try to focus on others to help them alleviate these pressure. eventually, it would help them the most if they are able to connect back with themselves and realize their worth, instead of trying to find it from other people. the people would be developed when they can gain confidence in themselves. 🕊

energies of a virgo 12th house: these people may have a fear of being too fixating on one area of their life specifically. since young, these people could have a specific hobby or specific interest that they have. because of the virgo energy, they may have spent a lot of time and money investing in this hobby and constantly be in a state of obsession with this hobby. they could constantly want to perfect their craft, or constantly look for the same thing in their life. because of this fixation, they grow this fear and uncomfortable feeling of being stuck and trapped in this black hole forever. with the libra ascendant, they could have realised that perfection is something that needs time and effort. being too indulgent and obsessed with something may cause them anxiety and even develop a low self-esteem instead. because of this, they are open to new ideas and perspective, and try to keep things in their life balanced, because they are afraid of the energy of being trapped in their own mind and over-analyzing things. they pull themselves out of the gutter by fixating on the beautiful and harmonious things in life, because it gives them reassurance that things will turn out okay, no matter what. it will be useful for a libra ascendant to realise that they have enough talent to reach for what they want, and that by relaxing, they can relieve the anxiety off them as well. focusing on the needs and thoughts of others can help a libra ascendant not fixate on their problem or worries. 🌺

energies of a libra 12th house: growing up, these people could have been forced to compromise or lacked a sense of self, because adults were constantly telling them what to do or how to act, and out of love and respect they could have listened to them even if they may not understand so. as they grow older, they start to realise that some actions or thoughts may not make sense to them, and they start to develop their own analytical mind as well as a keen sense of observation. because of how the environment was, they could have felt very confused and lost. they craved a lot of harmony and balance in their life, but the world felt like a whirlwind to them. because of this, they grow into their scorpio ascendant, where they are looking for the truth and a peace of mind. these people are on a constant search in their lives to find a balance in themselves. they have a strong sense of justice and because this justice was compromised in the past, they do not want to lose themselves again. with a scorpio ascendant, these people could have found themselves being more wary of others as they grow up, or tend to view the world as a cynical place. eventually, they will find themselves at peace with the world when they forgive the world and people for their actions, and realise that the true peace and happiness was within themselves all along, by looking into themselves and focusing on what makes them happy, they can find a healthy, happy place in this world after all.🗽

energies of a scorpio 12th house: these people could fear judgement, being overlooked as well and people underestimating them. when they were younger, they could have came from a background where people were more judgemental and cynical about the world around them. these scorpio 12th house people see the world as a wondrous place for exploration and growth, but their background could have restricted them or made them feel unworthy in some sense. this unworthiness could have grew deep into their soul and made them hate the world, and grow a desire to find out the happiest place in the world. instead of looking deep within themselves, these people turn outward and try to find out what’s the best place for them by exploring this world and trying out new things, just like a sagittarius ascendant. to others, they may appear optimistic and lucky, because of how they always manage to find the best things in life. what may be unknown to others is when these people are home alone, they may feel angry and lonely, because their lack of appreciation and happiness from life is not fully gone. deep down, they want emotional fulfillment and a place where they can feel safe, happy and free from being judged. when underdeveloped these people may find that others may subconsciously judge them a lot based on their actions or personality. they may feel unhappy about this at first, but when they realise that deep down, they no longer need to be on the search for more because they already have what they want, these people will finally find satisfaction and happiness. true happiness for them comes in the form of contentment and a clear conscience. 🦋

energies of a sagittarius 12th house: growing up, these people could have been uncontrollable or a little like the wild child. they were very free to do what they want, and they often saw the world as their playground. these children were likely not as controlled during their childhood, and adults generally were pleased to play with them. due to this fun-loving instinct, they could have burnt their hand multiple times from playing with fire from not listening to the advice of others. because jupiter (which rules expansion) is ruling the 12th house, these individuals may also feel lost easily, because they are prone to connecting with different religion and spirituality. this can make the individual feel confused and lost, because they are unable to draw the boundaries of who they are and what they believe in. they turn to becoming more grounded and focusing on what’s practical, just like their capricorn ascendant. because life seems to be a constant confusion, these people could be prone to turning into escapism or trying to water down the severity of the situation by not thinking of it. however, this isn’t healthy because problems in their life would always be present if they don’t resolve it. when developed, the capricorn ascendant can ground themselves channel their determination into a driving force towards their passion. an underdeveloped capricorn ascendant may find themselves lost and being unable to chase after their dreams. it is important for these individuals to take a break and embrace their child side once in a while to take a break. being grounded and avoiding escapism will be helpful for these individuals. 🌞

energies of a capricorn 12th house: these people could have been unique since they were a child. this combination is unique, because saturn has been known to co-rule aquarius and rule over capricorn in the past. thus, the ascension to ascendant may have overlapping themes, but not quite fully. with a capricorn 12th house, these individuals as they grew up they could have been more practical, or had more practical hobbies. perhaps they were into sewing, reading books, or doing things that had a practical effect on them. since young they were placed in a position where they felt the need to be able to help others in a practical manner, or they may feel useless. they may also develop an ego where they see happiness in being able to guide and teach others, and at the same time connect with others. at their youths, they could have felt lonely or a disconnect from others if they were more introverted. as they grow older, many of them start to realise that life does not always happen in a practical manner. not every hard work and effort will result in a fruitful outcome, it often involves the effort of other people as well. these individuals start to realise the importance of the effects of a community on an outcome or their goals. their goals may often involve other people, and providing or helping them in one way or another. these people would find satisfaction in providing some sort of help or gaining recognition from others. they would seek a higher level of learning as well as most of them are intelligent in a unique way, they are able to perceive the world in a practical, yet exciting manner. in order for these individuals to not over-tire themselves out, they have to watch out of being a workaholic as well as wearing themselves thin for others. they may be prone to envying others for what they have, as well as thinking that they are lacking or not being good enough. this may cause them to turn to being bitter and feeling upset when their hard work does not see results. it would be good for them to embrace their individuality and work in a social manner. 🦄

energies of an aquarius 12th house: these people may be constantly seeking freedom in a way that they find hard to attain. as a child, they may have seen the world in a detached, chill manner. they are constantly seeking individuality as well as happiness. however, due to this nagging feeling of being trapped, these individuals may find themselves being anxious and fear being out of control of their lives. they are people who know what they want and who they want to be, but often times they may find it difficult to fully present this. to feel understood, they may turn to spiritual guidance, which helps them to focus more on understanding who they are. just like a pisces ascendant, these individuals could have had many spiritual or occult encounters when growing up, and these did not feel unfamiliar to them. in fact, many of them are attuned with them and are able to find solace as well as control over their lives from there. due to the rarity of people experiencing this at a young age, many of them could have been shy and less likely to share these experiences with others. they are very in tune with their spiritual side and often has a side that others do not know about. once getting to know them, they find that these 12th house aquarius individuals are very open-minded and perceptive. they have a sharp thinking and strong intuition, as well as a sense of detachment. these people could be popular amongst their friends as well. in order to shake the feeling of being insecure and that they don’t belong in this earth, it would be helpful for them to embrace their spiritual side and use it to help themselves or others. 🕯

energies of a pisces 12th house: fear of losing themselves in the limitless boundaries, dreams are lucid and illusive to them, they enter a dreamworld easily where it is filled with boundless fantasies and mysteries that they didn’t know existed. because of this, they fear losing control of their lives as well as being lost, which is why they translate their fears into their aries ascendant. when they’re awake and conscious, they channel their energy into making full use of their energy and time, if they have a passion they’ll most likely rush headfirst into it, they act as the leader to secure themselves and their ego. if developed healthily, an aries rising will know that they are protected by their spirit guides as well as their “fate” in a sense. think of a superhero, for example Tony Stark. he would embody the aries energy the best, because although there are times were he comes off as childish or an escapist, when it comes to his mission he never hesitates to dive right in and do what he needs to. he does not fear death, because he knows that what he did was for the best. in this case, the aries ascendant knows that deep down their sacrifices and dedication to the world has to benefit the world, for them to feel fulfilled. 🧨

thank you for reading!! feel free to share your thoughts and ideas on this topic! some useful information on 12th house can be found here. 🌸💗💫✨

#12th house #1st house

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dvp95 · 5 years ago

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quiet on widow’s peak (12)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, mystery, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 3.2k (this chapter), 38.7k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

"You really don't know how to use chopsticks at all, huh?"

Phil ignores Dan's quiet, amused voice to keep attempting capture of the elusive sashimi. Eventually, he gives up and picks it up with his fingers. He pops it in his mouth and looks at Dan, despite all his common sense telling him it's a bad idea.

It's definitely a bad idea. The lighting is lower than in the coffee shop, tinged warm by the candles around the place - thankfully, none of them are on the table where Phil might accidentally elbow one and set the place ablaze - and Dan is sitting right across from him with shiny, smiling lips and dark, sparkling eyes. Phil reminds himself that this is not a date, that he wouldn't ask Dan on a date. Because Phil dates guys.

Well, not so much of the dating anyone at all thing as of late, but the point stands. Phil likes men and he likes everything that's classically attached to men, and he's not really interested in examining his sexuality in further detail at this point in his life. Still. Here Dan is, giggling at his attempts to wrangle sushi and asking about the footage corruption like it genuinely matters to them. Their feet keep knocking into Phil's own, because the table is small and both of them have Slenderman leg proportions. It also keeps happening because Dan seems to have a very hard time sitting still.

Their foot taps along to a beat that doesn't match the soft music over the speakers and their hands gesticulate with every question they ask, every story they tell. It's like they have a day's worth of energy that they've been building up while sitting in a lecture and making Phil a bunch of hot drinks.

"My family aren't big on going out to eat," Phil says, wondering how many times Dan's foot needs to bump his own before he can make a joke about playing footsie. "You're lucky I know how to use a fork and knife."

Dan giggles again. Phil loves the sound of that so much more than he thinks he should be allowed to.

"Lucky me," Dan teases, reaching for Phil's ginger with their own deft chopsticks. Phil considers batting them away, maybe engaging in a chopstick swordfight, but then he remembers that they're in public. "I guess my family didn't go out to eat much either, but that was more about the lack of money than anything else."

For a moment, Phil doesn't know how to respond to that. He's never quite known how to react when people drop things like that in casual conversation. Dan doesn't seem to notice his hesitation, because they're too busy stealing some of Phil's edamame.

"My mum just thought nobody could cook as well as she did," Phil jokes, pulling his edamame closer to him protectively. "At least, that's what she told us. I think she just couldn't be bothered wrangling us."

"You've got siblings?" Dan asks. They sound genuinely interested in the answer.

It's not a date, Phil reminds himself. They're friends, and Dan just wants to get to know him better.

"I've got an older brother," says Phil. "So it was just the two of us, but I've often been told we were frustrating enough for ten."

Dan laughs. "I can imagine. I mean, I don't know your brother, but I bet you started poking your head where it didn't belong a long time before you started getting paid for it." Their foot nudges Phil's again, but this time it seems like it's on purpose. "Bet you were a handful - I know I was. My brother was easy, I think. I was there for most of it, I guess, and he never caused nearly as much trouble as I did, but I think we were head to head in the annoying race."

"I have been informed that I could be a bit of a handful."

"Shocker."

Phil gives in to the urge of doing something silly and tosses an edamame bean at Dan's face. There's no staff looking at them that he can see, and it makes a lovely peal of laughter burst from Dan, so he considers it a win all around.

"Does your family live around here?" Phil asks. Dan's accent clearly isn't local, but their family could have moved at any point.

Something twists in Dan's expression, too quickly for Phil to name it. They settle their chin in one of their open palms, resting both elbows on the table in a way that would have Phil's mum batting at them. "No," they say, strangely slow about it. They seem to be deciding how much they want to say, because they end up shrugging and gesturing around vaguely with their free hand. "Adrian's with our uncle in Austria. No idea where exactly either of my parents are right now, but thank almighty fuck they're not somewhere together."

"Oh," Phil says. He doesn't really know what else to say. This is way out of his depth, not something he's had a lot of practice with talking about. It doesn't seem like it's particularly bothering Dan to talk about it, it's just that Phil has no idea how he's supposed to carry on a conversation with something like 'I'm glad my parents aren't together and I don't know where they live'.

Dan smiles rather kindly, like they know exactly what Phil is thinking and they don't blame him for it. Of course, Phil could be projecting wildly.

"It's okay," they say. Phil doesn't know them well enough to be able to tell when they're lying for sure, but they seem sincere enough. "I've been living on my own for a few years and don't keep up with them much. I go south to see my nana sometimes."

"That's good," Phil says blankly, chasing another piece of sashimi for something else to focus on. The last thing he wants to do is say the wrong thing and make Dan feel uncomfortable being around him.

"Do you get to see your family a lot?" Dan asks.

The question is a normal one, and his family is a topic that Phil usually jumps to discuss, but things are rocky enough emotionally for him right now that he can't even muster up the regular amount of enthusiasm. He shrugs. "I talk to them a couple times a week and see them every few months or so? Martyn lives in London, so I get to see him more often, but he's also like... much busier than I am. Mostly I just stay home with Peej and Sophie and Chris."

"I really like them," Dan informs him. It's more of an announcement than a casual observation, like they think it's important for Phil to know what they think of his friends.

It is. That's very important to Phil.

If this were a date - which it isn't - then Phil would probably crack some jokes about how much less fun they are when he's trying to have a lie-in or make a point of reminding Dan that Chris is flirtatious but harmless.

"I like them, too," he says instead. "They're all so weirdly nice to me that I think they're plotting my death, sometimes."

"I mean, that would get a lot of views," says Dan.

Phil laughs. "I can imagine it now. The mysterious life and death of Philip M. Lester... except my life isn't exactly mysterious, and PJ would not be good at lying to the police."

"You're a little mysterious," Dan says, pouring them both some more tea. They smile when Phil thanks them, their dimple in stark contrast in the lighting. "Not like you're skulking around in the night or whatever - but, listen, you do also do that. I just mean that it's... hard to tell what you're thinking."

"Good," Phil says lightly.

Luckily, Dan laughs like it's a joke. They don't need to be introduced to the exact height of Phil's emotional walls so early in the friendship.

"For example," Dan continues like they haven't been interrupted, "I've noticed that you keep staring at my mug, and I can't tell if it's because you're an insanely jealous Pokémon nerd or if you're trying to figure out what weird animals they are."

Talking about Pokémon is way easier than talking about family or friends or his own shortcomings as a human, so Phil jumps on the topic like he's been handed a life jacket. Dan has a surprisingly deep well of opinions about the games, and Phil starts to really enjoy himself while needling Dan with his own thoughts. Sometimes he pretends like he disagrees completely just to see the way Dan gets passionate, gesturing and getting louder and Googling facts to back their arguments up.

They've got a lot of other media in common, too, and Phil keeps waiting for Dan to not have an opinion on something. It hasn't happened yet. Even with things they haven't watched or read yet, they chatter on about reviews they've seen or theories they've been hearing. The singular time that Phil asks about a film they've never even heard of, Dan grins wide and asks him to tell them about it.

By the time their dinner and dessert and tea are all gone and the staff are starting to give them looks, Phil feels like he's never connected this quickly and easily with someone in his whole life. That's a dangerous thought, but it's also a nice one.

This isn't a date, because this can't be a date, because Dan isn't a guy and Phil only dates guys. Even so, when Phil pays the bill and follows Dan out to the pavement, he feels the bubbling nervousness that he associates with the endings of first dates. Dan walks him to his bus stop, rambling about how Phil must be watching The Walking Dead wrong if he really thinks it's boring. Their cheeks are rosy with the chilly air and the tips of their ears are bright pink. They are ridiculously, unbelievably cute. Phil wishes he could stop noticing details like that, things that are going to make it even harder for him to put that platonic distance between them.

Dan sways into his space a bit when they stop at the empty bus stop, but Phil can't tell if it's on purpose or if Dan is just wiggling around like they usually are.

"This was fun," they say, wrapping up their rant with zero segue.

"I think so," Phil agrees with a little smile. He checks the bus schedule on his phone for probably the fourteenth time today, anxious about missing it or getting on the wrong one or something and having to call his parents with a favour to ask. "And, hey, I'm in town again tomorrow if you want me haunting your place of work again."

Dan grins wide, the streetlights' warmth catching in their eyes and teeth in a mesmerizing sort of way. "I'm not working tomorrow," they say. "But I'd be happy to hang out after my lecture. What are you doing in town?"

"Oh," Phil says, then pauses. He remembers the fierceness in Dan's voice when they told him not to go back to the house by himself. Still, it's not like there's anything they can do to make him stay out of there. "I'm going back to the Wilkins place with my dad's old video camera. It's old, still uses tape, so I'm thinking corruption might not work on it."

"You're going back there by yourself?"

"Yeah, I'm going back," says Phil. He raises his eyebrows, daring Dan to keep arguing.

Dan is good at arguing, but once Phil has made his mind up about something, it's going to take a lot more than a persuasive pretty person telling him what to do to make him change it. Normally it would be annoying for someone to even try, but as confident as Phil is in his own ability to out-stubborn anyone on the topic of his own work, there's a part of him that thinks it's kind of sweet for Dan to worry so much. Ugh. He's got it bad.

It seems like some of his resolve is obvious in his expression or the set of his shoulders or whatever, because Dan just sighs loudly.

"Fine," they say. "I've got a Polaroid, I'll bring that too."

That hadn't been a tactic that Phil was anticipating. He's wrong-footed for a long moment or two as he waits for Dan to say they're kidding. "Uh," he says slowly. "You're not coming."

"Like fuck I'm not." Dan's stubborn face looks a lot like a frustrated, pouting toddler, but Phil still feels some of the effect. "You aren't going back there alone, I told you. I'm not letting you. And, sure, I don't know all the tricks of the trade or what the fuck ever, but you need someone to watch your back and make sure you don't stumble into more trouble. I'm your guy."

"You're not a guy," Phil says, because he doesn't really know what else to say.

That breaks Dan's seriousness, and they giggle into their large hand. Phil is already trying to apologise, but Dan waves him off like he's being ridiculous. "First of all," they say, "it's a figure of speech. And second of all, I'm not not a guy."

Phil can't think about that right now. His bus is visible a couple streets away and the last thing he needs is more confusion about Dan's identity on his plate.

"Sorry," Phil says again, just in case.

Dan rolls their eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow. I'm free after noon."

"Well, we won't go over there until after it gets dark," says Phil. "But I'll text you. We can - I dunno. Get something that's not sushi. Or just get sushi again, honestly, because I'm obsessed with it."

"Same," says Dan, dimples in full force. "We'll figure something out, anyway."

Before Phil can say anything else, Dan sways back into his space and gives him a tight, fleeting hug. "Tomorrow," they repeat before pulling away.

"Tomorrow," Phil agrees. His stomach is in knots and his bus is approaching, so all he can manage is a dorky wave before he has to start digging for change and preparing to make small talk with the bus driver. Dan waits until he's on the bus and gives him a two-finger salute before heading back down the way they'd come.

That detail, the fact that Dan had gone completely out of their way to walk Phil somewhere that he'd been vaguely anxious about, is almost enough to undo all of Phil's careful explanations of their actions towards him.

It wasn't a date. Phil hadn't asked them on a date.

But he's certain now, in a way that he's never been before, that he hadn't been the only one half-wishing it was.

Phil can't move.

He's not in the comfortable dullness of his childhood bedroom, where he'd fallen asleep. He's got rough wood under his back and dusty rafters above his head. He can hear the insistent sound of rain hitting the roof, but aside from that the attic is quiet.

He is alone in the Wilkins place and he can't move. For a very, very long time, nothing happens.

Then he feels pressure on his chest that hadn't been there before. He still can't see anything, but it's getting harder and harder to take breaths.

Just when he thinks he's going to pass out from the lack of oxygen, Phil wakes up.

"I've had nightmares about places we've investigated before," he says into the phone, hiding out in the kitchen while his parents watch some early morning news broadcast. He's got his clothes in the wash with some of his dad's stuff, so he's taken up roost at the breakfast bar with some cereal and he's been zoning out while looking at the spin cycle. "But they've never felt like... that."

"Like how?" Martyn asks. He's yawning a bit, and Phil almost feels bad about waking him so early.

"Like, real," says Phil. "I don't know how else to describe it, Mar. It felt like I was really there, like something was really sitting on my chest. I could smell the dust and hear the rain and - it felt real."

"Maybe it's not such a good idea to go back, then."

Phil huffs. "Are you kidding me? This just means I'm onto something."

"No, it means you're making reckless decisions because you want to be right so badly that you're willing to ignore warning signs," Martyn says flatly. "And, sure, maybe that's because there's actually something to investigate there, but is that a risk you're willing to take?"

The Wilkins place has never exactly been welcoming; Phil felt like there was someone watching him from the beginning, like they weren't alone in the old walls. And maybe it's stupid of him to keep going back when things had escalated last time into something he had no control over at all, but he knows he's right about this. That makes it hard for him to let go of it, to admit defeat and go back to Brighton with his tail between his legs.

This is his town. It doesn't matter that he's left or that his parents are leaving, too. These are the hills and the streets and the graveyards and the hospitals that he'd followed Martyn through until he was old enough to brave it on his own. He doesn't like the idea that something so relatively new could run him out of town with a nightmare and some flickering lights.

Maybe he does have something to prove. He doesn't plan on doing anything stupid, but he can at least recognise that the simple act of returning at night is stupid enough for the people who care about him to worry.

"I'll have Dan with me," says Phil.

"Oh, okay," Martyn says like he's found a corner piece in a jigsaw puzzle. "So there's a bloke involved."

Phil wants to say that Dan isn't a bloke, but he's got Dan's voice in his head semi-permanently now. He's pretty sure that Dan wouldn't object to the classification, and might even say that they're not not a bloke. Instead, he just sighs loudly. "It's not about Dan, knobhead. But they're, uh, kind of jumpy. So I won't spend more time in the Wilkins place than I strictly need to, okay? For their sake if nothing else."

"Promise?"

"Sure," Phil says, with far more irritation than he actually feels. If he acts prickly, then Martyn won't push. "Did you find out anything else about this place?"

"Not really," Martyn says through another yawn. "I guess Frankie said that some kids were fucking around with spells or something earlier this year? His sister and her friends got in shit for breaking and entering."

"Spells, okay." Phil pulls his phone away from his ear to make a note of that. "I think that was all the sigils we found upstairs, but I'll look closer at the other rooms."

"Be careful."

"Aren't I always?"

Phil hangs up before his brother can start pulling out any receipts.

#quiet on widow's peak #words words words

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hamliet · 6 years ago

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MDZS meets MBTI

The Myers-Briggs Personality type is older than the Enneagram, and consists of sixteen types based on four different pairs of personality traits: Introversion vs. Extroversion; Sensing vs. Intuition, Feeling vs. Thinking, and Perceiving vs. Judging. To be clear, none of these categories are black and white–for example, all Feelers are capable of using logic, and Thinkers have feelings and care about people–but it’s a cool way of understanding personalities.

I’m not going to do every character, but simply the characters I think are most important and the ones for whom I have the most information to analyze (some is def guesswork). :P Also, this is just my opinion and definitely open to debate! MBTI isn’t a science; it’s just something I do for fun.

Wei WuXian-->ENFP “The Campaigner”

Unlike many of the others, Wei WuXian’s type seems very, very obvious. He might be the most ENFP to ever ENFP.

The ENFP personality is a true free spirit. They are often the life of the party, but unlike Explorers, they are less interested in the sheer excitement and pleasure of the moment than they are in enjoying the social and emotional connections they make with others. Charming, independent, energetic and compassionate... if they’ve found a cause that sparks their imagination, ENFPs will bring an energy that oftentimes thrusts them into the spotlight, held up by their peers as a leader and a guru – but this isn’t always where independence-loving ENFPs want to be.

Lan WangJi-->ISTJ “The Logistician”

Why yes, Lan WangJi is the exact opposite of his beloved Wei WuXian. He’s another one that seems pretty obvious to me.

ISTJ personalities are no-nonsense... ISTJs have little tolerance for indecisiveness, but lose patience even more quickly if their chosen course is challenged with impractical theories, especially if they ignore key details...

ISTJ personalities adhere to established rules and guidelines regardless of cost, reporting their own mistakes and telling the truth even when the consequences for doing so could be disastrous. To ISTJs, honesty is far more important than emotional considerations, and their blunt approach leaves others with the false impression that ISTJs are cold, or even robotic. People with this type may struggle to express emotion or affection outwardly, but the suggestion that they don’t feel, or worse have no personality at all, is deeply hurtful.

Jiang Cheng-->ISTJ “The Logistician”

Yes, the same type as Lan WangJi, just a tad more bitter. Personality tests, even if two people seem to fit a type extremely well, can’t define someone, because people are just so infinitely more complex. The part about being taken advantage of reminds me here of how Jin GuangYao points out that people took advantage of Jiang Cheng’s need to prove himself to drive a wedge between him and Wei WuXian.

ISTJs’ dedication is an excellent quality, allowing them to accomplish much, but it is also a core weakness that less scrupulous individuals take advantage of. ISTJs seek stability and security, considering it their duty to maintain a smooth operation, and they may find that their coworkers and significant others shift their responsibilities onto them, knowing that they will always take up the slack. ISTJs tend to keep their opinions to themselves and let the facts do the talking, but it can be a long time before observable evidence tells the whole story.

Lan XiChen-->ENFJ “The Protagonist”

Sadly, this description is pretty accurate to Lan XiChen’s strengths and also his flaws--in particular in terms of his relationship with Jin GuangYao.

ENFJs radiate authenticity, concern and altruism, unafraid to stand up and speak when they feel something needs to be said. They find it natural and easy to communicate with others, especially in person, and their Intuitive (N) trait helps people with the ENFJ personality type to reach every mind, be it through facts and logic or raw emotion. ENFJs easily see people’s motivations and seemingly disconnected events, and are able to bring these ideas together and communicate them as a common goal with an eloquence that is nothing short of mesmerizing.

The interest ENFJs have in others is genuine, almost to a fault – when they believe in someone, they can become too involved in the other person’s problems, place too much trust in them.

Jin GuangYao-->ESFJ (?) “The Consul”

This one I’m less certain of--FJ seems certain to me, but I/E and N/S is a bit debatable. I think he best meets the description of “the Consul” though.

ESFJs are more concerned with fashion and their appearance, their social status and the standings of other people... ESFJs love to be of service, enjoying any role that allows them to participate in a meaningful way, so long as they know that they are valued and appreciated. Coming to terms with their sensitivity is ESFJs’ biggest challenge – people are going to disagree and they’re going to criticize, and while it hurts, it’s just a part of life.

Nie MingJue-->ESTJ “The Executive”

Less certain of E or I than for the other three, but the way he failed to overcome the challenge of how not everyone processes the same way seems very ESTJ to me.

ESTJs are representatives of tradition and order, utilizing their understanding of what is right, wrong and socially acceptable to bring families and communities together. Embracing the values of honesty, dedication and dignity, people with the ESTJ personality type are valued for their clear advice and guidance, and they happily lead the way on difficult paths.

ESTJs are aware of their surroundings and live in a world of clear, verifiable facts – the surety of their knowledge means that even against heavy resistance, they stick to their principles and push an unclouded vision of what is and is not acceptable... they expect their reliability and work ethic to be reciprocated – people with this personality type meet their promises, and if partners or subordinates jeopardize them through incompetence or laziness, or worse still, dishonesty, they do not hesitate to show their wrath...

The main challenge for ESTJs is to recognize that not everyone follows the same path or contributes in the same way.

Nie HuaiSang-->ISFP “The Adventurer”

Interesting name for a timid HuaiSang, but I really do think he is an ISFP. He is notably one of the few Nie Sect leaders who doesn’t seem at risk of dying from a qi deviation, and hence his less brutish way of ruling might actually, in the long run, be good for his sect. (NMJ would be proud... maybe.)

ISFP personality types are true artists, but not necessarily in the typical sense where they’re out painting happy little trees. Often enough though, they are perfectly capable of this. Rather, it’s that they use aesthetics, design and even their choices and actions to push the limits of social convention...

If these goals and principles are noble, ISFPs can act with amazing charity and selflessness – but it can also happen that people with the ISFP personality type establish a more self-centered identity, acting with selfishness, manipulation and egoism.

Wen Qing-->ENTJ “The Commander”

Another one I feel fairly confident in. Wen Qing is a boss queen who gives birth to one of the series’ most iconic lines: “thank you, and I’m sorry.” She’s able to win the respect of Wen RouHan and even some people who hate the Wens, and thinks outside the box, theorizing on core transfer but hesitant to actually try it when she isn’t fully confident.

ENTJs are natural-born leaders. People with this personality type embody the gifts of charisma and confidence, and project authority in a way that draws crowds together behind a common goal. But unlike their Feeling (F) counterpart, ENTJs are characterized by an often ruthless level of rationality, using their drive, determination and sharp minds to achieve whatever end they’ve set for themselves.

Wen Ning-->INFP “The Mediator”

I was torn between S and N, but I went with INFP because he is more focused on thinking about possibilities--in fact his arc is about learning to be confident in his own possibilities and to explore them.

INFP personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, INFPs have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine.

Jin ZiXuan--> ESTP, “The Entrepreneur”

Does he have enough of a personality for me to really analyze him? Maybe not but I like him a lot. He is motivated by what seems like pride at the beginning, but we later realize he cares deeply about the people around him and genuinely cared for Wei WuXian because his wife did.

Inspiring, convincing and colorful, they are natural group leaders, pulling everyone along the path less traveled, bringing life and excitement everywhere they go. Putting these qualities to a constructive and rewarding end is Entrepreneurs’ true challenge.

Jiang YanLi-->INFP “The Mediator”

Shijie was indeed the mediator between her two brothers, and it’s her legacy of love and kindness, of wanting Wei WuXian to live even at the expense of her own life no matter what he’d done, that makes a huge difference.

Luckily, like the flowers in spring, INFP’s affection, creativity, altruism and idealism will always come back, rewarding them and those they love perhaps not with logic and utility, but with a world view that inspires compassion, kindness and beauty wherever they go.

Jin Ling-->ESTP, “The Entrepreneur”

Jin Ling is the hardest one to pin down and I’m mad because he’s one of my favorites. He is highly emotional, but I think he’s an ESTP like his dad.

Entrepreneurs keep their conversation energetic, with a good dose of intelligence, but they like to talk about what is – or better yet, to just go out and do it. Entrepreneurs leap before they look, fixing their mistakes as they go, rather than sitting idle, preparing contingencies and escape clauses.

Lan SiZhui-->INFJ “The Advocate”

My type.

INFJs indeed share a unique combination of traits: though soft-spoken, they have very strong opinions and will fight tirelessly for an idea they believe in. They are decisive and strong-willed, but will rarely use that energy for personal gain – INFJs will act with creativity, imagination, conviction and sensitivity not to create advantage, but to create balance.

Lan JingYi-->ESFP “The Entertainer”

He’s pretty easy to figure out. I constantly wonder how he fares in the Gusu Lan Sect.

...they love putting on a show for their friends too, chatting with a unique and earthy wit, soaking up attention and making every outing feel a bit like a party. Utterly social, ESFPs enjoy the simplest things, and there’s no greater joy for them than just having fun with a good group of friends.

Xue Yang-->ESTP “The Entrepreneur”

ESTPs are the likeliest personality type to make a lifestyle of risky behavior. They live in the moment and dive into the action – they are the eye of the storm. People with the ESTP personality type enjoy drama, passion, and pleasure, not for emotional thrills, but because it’s so stimulating to their logical minds. They are forced to make critical decisions based on factual, immediate reality in a process of rapid-fire rational stimulus response.

A-Qing-->ESTP “The Entrepreneur”

Yes, I think A-Qing is the same type as Xue Yang, which doesn’t surprise me because they are actually extremely blatant foils in the story. It’s funny the description notes how observant ESTPs tend to be, because that’s something A-Qing absolutely is, noticing Xue Yang’s minuscule changes in expression and keeping her from trusting him, and Xue Yang is also incredibly observant of her words to realize she might just not be blind after all.

With perhaps the most perceptive, unfiltered view of any type, ESTPs have a unique skill in noticing small changes. Whether a shift in facial expression, a new clothing style, or a broken habit, people with this personality type pick up on hidden thoughts and motives where most types would be lucky to pick up anything specific at all. ESTPs use these observations immediately, calling out the change and asking questions, often with little regard for sensitivity. ESTPs should remember that not everyone wants their secrets and decisions broadcast.

Xiao XingChen-->ISFJ “The Defender”

The following description really reminds me of XXC especially after he hears the story about Xue Yang’s love of candy as a child, and every single day thereafter buys him and A-Qing a candy.

ISFJs take their responsibilities personally, consistently going above and beyond, doing everything they can to exceed expectations and delight others, at work and at home... Naturally social, an odd quality for Introverts, ISFJs utilize excellent memories not to retain data and trivia, but to remember people, and details about their lives. When it comes to gift-giving, ISFJs have no equal, using their imagination and natural sensitivity to express their generosity in ways that touch the hearts of their recipients

Song Lan-->INTJ “The Architect”

There’s not as much to go on for Song Lan, but what we do have seems to suggest INTJ to me, particularly in how someone who would spend years looking for a friend would refuse to consider that Xue Yang might have changed at all.

INTJs are simultaneously the most starry-eyed idealists and the bitterest of cynics, a seemingly impossible conflict.

Yu ZiYuan-->ESTJ “The Executive”

Welp. The Purple Spider is definitely an Executive.

#mdzs #mbti #mao dao zu shi

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thebestplltheories · 6 years ago

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Hello! I loved the finale, and I loved the season! I'm really hoping there's a second season (with some serious re-branding). Before episode nine, I sent in a theory through the submit box, and I was just wondering if you'd seen that or if it had gotten lost in the shuffle. Just trying to do my part in making the fandom a healthier, more positive place with some theorizing! :)

Omg yes I saw that! It’s just at the bottom of my message box that I keep forgetting to scroll down enough to post it. Thanks for the reminder! Let me post it here for everyone to enjoy. I’ll read it later today, I’m excited!

Let’s look through Taylor’s timeline (with included analysis) up until the day of Nolan’s death:

According to Claire, despite Taylor’s and Nolan’s close relationship as children, Taylor never trusted anyone, including Nolan. If Taylor felt that Nolan was turning against her by wanting to reveal that she was alive to an outsider, would their unity fall apart? As Claire says, both Alison and Taylor are survivors at any cost. While we can’t always trust Claire’s perspective on her children, we can use our understanding of Alison’s character to better understand Taylor. We know that Alison is a survivor, and we’ve seen her ensure her own survival over others in the past. It’s not a leap to say that Taylor would do the same.

At some point in the past, Taylor “snapped.” Taylor says to Claire: “I snap and you come out smelling like roses. Just like last time.” We don’t know for sure what Taylor is referencing here, but this does show that Taylor has struggled with mental health in the past.

At some point during Taylor’s time at BHU, she befriended Ray Hogadorn. This friendship inspired Ray to write “They’re 👀” on her wall as a warning once he realized that something was wrong with Beacon Guard. Was this a personal warning or an overall warning to inspire Taylor to look into the situation?

Taylor became paranoid and occasionally delusional once she began teaching according to Claire. Because this is coming from Claire’s perspective, it could be doubted that Taylor really was paranoid rather than responding with caution to a real situation. However, we have had signs that Taylor snapped before (as Taylor referenced herself). Interestingly, Mason notes that Nolan also changed upon attending BHU. Something about BHU really impacted both Taylor and Nolan. This information raises questions: Was Taylor’s paranoia and delusion before or after Ray Hogadorn’s warning? Is this a hint that Taylor is dangerous? Did BHU have this effect only on Taylor and Nolan, and if so, why them?

A year ago, Taylor faked committing suicide as a way to escape the attention of her family and Beacon Guard. She told Alison that the “real reason” she ran away was because someone tried to kill her. This is of course potentially true, but I find it to be an interesting cover story. If Taylor ran away because someone tried to kill her, she is painted in the light of a victim. This immediately makes her seem more trustworthy. However, in the one conversation we 👀 between her and Nolan, it doesn’t seem like Taylor ran away for this reason. It seems more like the system at large is a threat.

During the year Taylor is gone, she and Nolan tried to find evidence to bring down Beacon Guard, but we don’t know why they’re trying to do this or what kind of evidence they’re trying to find. It’s worth noting that Alison comments to Mona that she feels something is wrong with the campus–something worse than a murder and fake suicide. This seems to align with there being more to Beacon Guard than meets the eye, as Taylor and Nolan know since they were actively trying to find evidence of this corruption. Does Taylor know exactly what is wrong, or was she simply trying to find any evidence that spoke of corruption? It’s notable that Taylor has not told Alison that she and Nolan were working on this project together. Her whole focus has been on “someone tried to kill me!” and “I need to find who killed Nolan!” There is a lot she has not been upfront with Alison about.

The day Nolan dies, he and Taylor meet up. After Nolan asks to 👀 Taylor (why?), Taylor seems to disagree because Nolan had been put under surveillance and it wouldn’t be safe if they met up. However, Nolan assumes that this means Ava has also been put under surveillance and pushes that he and Taylor need to meet. During this meeting, Nolan becomes dissatisfied with his and Taylor’s process in bringing down Beacon Guard (he’s 😟 for Ava’s safety) and argues with Taylor that they should bring in an outside source (Alison), which Taylor is adamantly against because she doesn’t feel safe. However, Nolan makes it clear that he’s going to do it anyway. Taylor responds by sheepishly agreeing and gives Nolan a very interesting hug. Even in the first episode, this hug felt significant–like Taylor is saying goodbye to her brother.

Now let’s break down what happened during Nolan’s death scene:

Nolan has decided, with Taylor’s unwilling acceptance, that he’s going to bring Alison into their group in order to bring down Beacon Guard. Presumably, Nolan and Taylor come up with the exact plan together of how to talk with Alison safely without revealing their entire ✋. Nolan texts Alison to meet him on the roof, and Taylor turns off Beacon Guard in that area so the conversation will be private. This means that Taylor knows that the roof is a safe place for her to be without being seen.

When the killer arrives, Nolan can only 👀 their silhouette and maybe some vague features because they stand directly in front of the bright light. This tells us that Nolan would have been immediately suspicious of the killer if he had been able to 👀 them.

Despite Nolan revealing very protected, sensitive information (that Taylor is in fact alive), he is sure enough that he’s talking to Alison that he reveals this information before getting a full look at the killer. It doesn’t make sense that Nolan would start talking without thinking he absolutely knew who he was talking to (based on his character’s attributes). However, it makes sense that Nolan would have thought he was talking to Alison if he was actually talking to her look-alike, Taylor. In silhouette form, Nolan would have seen long, blonde hair and very similar facial features.

The killer reveals themselves (stepping away from the light) immediately after Nolan says that Taylor is alive. If this is anyone other than Taylor, it makes more sense that they would have kept listening. This would have been huge news that they could have gotten more information about! However, if the killer is Taylor, it makes sense that this would have been when she would have attacked. She had her evidence that Nolan was going to “out her.” As we discussed above, Taylor is a survivor at all costs and she is shown to be extremely fearful of being the “⚰️ girl who’s not ⚰️ anymore.” Taylor also knows who Alison is and why Claire brought Alison to Beacon Heights. Most likely, as someone trying to stay unseen, this would have made her feel hunted and more paranoid than ever. At what point would she turn against Nolan to protect herself?

Of course, we know Alison doesn’t reveal the text until the next day because of a partial Beacon Guard shutdown around Alison’s 🏠, the roof where Nolan is killed, and a few other cameras. We know that Taylor is behind the roof shutdown, meaning we know that Taylor is capable of causing a larger shutdown as well. It’s quite a coincidence that other cameras are shutdown, allowing a safe route for Taylor to travel the campus. It’s quite a coincidence that Alison doesn’t receive the text because of her home’s shutdown. If Taylor knew that she might kill Nolan, she absolutely wouldn’t want Alison to randomly show up. Plus, stopping Nolan from revealing her secret in the first place is the whole reason she would have gone to potentially kill Nolan. As Alison says later to Mona, “there is no such thing as coincidences.”

A few additional observations:

Mona is locked out of Beacon Guard for suspicious activity that she later discovers came from a single source. We never learn what this suspicious activity is exactly, just that Mona initially assumed Beacon Guard didn’t appreciate her trying to solve Nolan’s murder. I would bet that source is Taylor’s RV. What was the suspicious activity?

Two things from Mona’s perspective: first, Mona tells Alison that Nolan is dangerous because he has the ability to push a student to the snapping point. We 👀 Nolan push Taylor past her preferred safety system. Second, Mona tries to use her Beacon Guard algorithm to discover which student snapped enough to kill Nolan but was unable to find anyone. Of course, Taylor wouldn’t have come up because she would no longer be active in the system.

Taylor has shown lots of suspicious behavior. The biggest incident that immediately springs to mind is the fact that she’s trying to manipulate Alison into giving her the evidence against Booker. If Taylor is the killer, it makes sense that she wouldn’t want Booker to be stopped. Booker is doing a great job of keeping everyone focused away from who murdered Nolan, frantic, and potentially pinning Nolan’s murder on someone else. Taylor would want to do everything she could (like destroy the evidence) to keep Booker doing what she’s doing.

Dylan, Caitlyn, and Ava are talking about their belief that Booker is behind everything when Dylan briefly mentions Taylor’s suspicious behavior and her access to Beacon Guard. The script immediately cuts him off and then Booker shows up to take the audience’s attention off his statement. This is interesting.

This show has gone out of its way to show two aspects of Alison’s character: first, that she used to be a mean girl capable of deception and manipulation and second, that she has now changed and wants a drama-free, trustworthy life. The show has also gone out of its way to connect Alison and Taylor’s personalities. I think the show is doing something very interesting with this. Basically, they have created a gemini character. Alison is the good side while Taylor is the bad side. Taylor’s mean girl persona has been brought up by Claire, and we’ve seen it in how Taylor immediately treated Mona (calling her short, saying she should wear a 🛎️, etc.). This is a study of how the “same” person can choose two different paths.

I’m unsure if Taylor is the ultimate big bad, but I do think she is the one who killed Nolan. Personally, if she is the killer, I hope that she’s not also the big bad. I would 💛 to 👀 the dichotomy between someone who did a horrible thing but who is still fighting against a corrupt or dangerous system. Like Booker noted about Alison, she’s a complex character. I’m sure the same can be said then for Taylor.

#pll #pll theories #not mine #pretty little liars #pll tp #pll the perfectionists #the perfectionists

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