#just add an intimacy level. is that too much to ask???? I need her so bad | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

p0orbaby · 24 days ago

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Dancing in the Dark

summary: a tactics coach and a vice captain walk into a bar… have a not so secret relationship

warnings: mentions of sex but nothing graphic

a/n: i asked for requests and someone sent me this gem

word count: 3.1k

Leah texts you at exactly 12:02 a.m., a time she insists is “late enough to avoid suspicion but early enough that we’re not knackered in the morning.” The precision of it is very Leah—practical, calculated, with just the faintest whisper of rebellion. It’s always the same text—Room 308—as if she’s writing it for a stranger who might need the address for their sat nav. She never adds punctuation. You think that’s intentional, a way of keeping it casual, devoid of any intimacy that could be misconstrued.

You’ve stopped bothering to reply. It’s not that you don’t want to see her—want isn’t the word for what you feel when you see her name flash on your screen, but it’s close enough. It’s that typing on my way feels excessive when the answer’s already obvious. She knows you’ll come. You know she knows. And there’s something about that silent agreement that feels like the only part of this whole arrangement that makes sense.

The desk lamp casts a faint yellow glow across the room as you pack up. Your laptop goes into the bag first, followed by the notepad you’ve been using to scribble ideas for tomorrow’s strategy meeting. You pause to carefully align its corner with the edge of the desk—a habit you’ve had since you were a child, though you’re not sure if it’s a quirk of personality or a learned behaviour from years of Catholic school and its draconian rules about neatness.

Your hoodie is next, slung over the back of the chair like it’s been waiting for this exact moment. It’s an old one from university, the logo cracked and peeling, the sleeves stretched from too many washes. It smells faintly of your laundry detergent—a scent marketed as “ocean breeze,” though you’ve always thought it smells more like cheap fabric softener and an overactive imagination. Nothing about it suggests the ocean, or even a breeze. It’s more akin to the air freshener in a Southend-on-Sea rental cottage, the kind with faded floral curtains and a broken kettle. You wonder, briefly, if Leah would find this thought amusing. Probably. She has a way of laughing at things that don’t seem funny until she does.

The hotel corridor is silent, save for the distant hum of a vending machine and the occasional creak of overused floorboards. You walk quickly, your trainers barely making a sound on the patterned carpet—a gaudy, swirling design in shades of burgundy and gold that seems to scream corporate retreat. You keep your eyes trained forward, as if avoiding eye contact with the carpet will somehow render you invisible to anyone who might happen to step out of their room.

You’ve mapped out every staff member’s room, memorised the most efficient route, and calculated the probability of running into someone based on their known habits. Karen from PR always goes to bed early, probably still jet-lagged from the US tour. The physio, Jamie, is a night owl, but he’s more likely to be glued to Netflix than wandering the halls. Leah finds this level of detail ridiculous.

“You’re acting like MI5 is going to raid the place,” she’d said once, sprawled on her bed in a tangle of limbs and laughter. Her hair was still damp from the shower, a faint halo of gold catching the light as she turned her head to look at you. “You’re allowed to have fun, you know”

She’d been peeling off your shirt as she said it, her fingers tracing lazy circles on your shoulder, her eyes glittering with amusement. You wanted to argue, to tell her that fun is precisely what you’re having, in the only way you know how to have it: meticulously planned, risk-assessed, and executed with the precision of a military operation. But then her hands had moved lower, and the argument had dissolved into something else entirely. Something much harder to put into words.

Room 308. You knock twice—firm, precise knocks that betray none of the absurd nervousness bubbling under the surface. The kind that makes your palms clammy and your chest feel like it’s trying to audition for a drum solo. The knocks are part of a ritual now, as familiar as tying your boots before a match or double-checking the pitch markings. Three sharp raps, never four, because three would seem impatient, and two would feel too casual, as though you’re dropping by to borrow sugar or ask for her Netflix password.

The door opens almost instantly, as if she’s been standing on the other side, waiting for you. Leah’s dressed in one of those oversized T-shirts she always wears off the pitch, the kind that blur the line between effortless and lazy. This one is black, or it might have been once, but it’s faded now, the fabric soft and worn thin at the seams. The logo across the chest is barely legible—AC__ME—as though it’s been through the wash one too many times. You can’t tell if it’s a nod to Arsenal, a subtle homage to Wile E. Coyote’s endless misfortunes, or one of those niche designer brands that only appear on people with a six-figure salary and a curated Instagram aesthetic. It’s probably the latter. Leah strikes you as the kind of person who’d know what Vetements is and pretend she doesn’t care about it while secretly owning three pieces.

“Hey,” she says, stepping aside to let you in. Her voice has this easy warmth to it, like she’s just woken up from the kind of nap that makes you forget what year it is. There’s a hint of amusement in her tone, the faint lilt of someone who’s just thought of something funny but isn’t planning to share it with the group. You’ve always liked that about her—how she can hold a joke in her mouth like a secret, like it’s something she doesn’t owe to anyone else.

“Hi,” you reply, because what else is there to say? Hello feels too formal, like you’ve shown up for a job interview, and anything else—anything softer, more intimate—feels dangerous. Like stepping too close to the edge of a cliff just to see how far you can lean before gravity kicks in.

Her room is a mirror image of yours, down to the garish burgundy carpet and beige curtains that don’t quite close properly. It’s a symphony of stereotypical hotel design, where the furniture all looks like it’s been bolted down as a precaution against theft. But there’s something different about hers, something distinctly Leah. It smells faintly of her perfume, a citrusy Chanel scent you’d once looked for in John Lewis out of curiosity. You’d sprayed it onto one of those paper tester strips, only to feel your lungs contract at the price tag. It smells like sunshine and sharp edges, and now it’s permanently tangled up in your memory of her.

The bed is unmade, the covers thrown haphazardly across the mattress like they’ve been caught mid-escape. One pillow teeters on the edge, a casualty of her apparent inability to sleep neatly. There’s a half-empty bottle of water on the nightstand, its label peeling from condensation. A pair of socks—crew-length, white with a small Nike tick—lie abandoned on the floor near the foot of the bed, one inside out. The room is messy in a way that surprises you. Leah, who is precise and meticulous on the pitch, leaves her personal space in a state of mild chaos. And for some reason, it makes you smile. It’s humanising, like finding out that superheroes still get toothpaste on their shirts.

You step inside, careful not to trip over her trainers—Adidas Sambas in a muted beige tone, scuffed at the edges but somehow still immaculate in their coolness. The door clicks shut behind you, the sound punctuating the silence like a full stop. You turn to face her, and she’s leaning against the dresser now, her hands resting in the pockets of her shorts. She’s watching you, her eyes half-lidded and impossibly blue, the kind of blue that makes you think of open skies and lost afternoons.

“What?” you ask, because the weight of her gaze always makes you self-conscious, like you’ve walked into a room wearing mismatched socks.

“Nothing,” she says, her mouth curving into a smirk. “You just look…” She pauses, letting the sentence hang in the air like an unfinished melody.

“What?” you repeat, a little sharper this time, though you’re smiling too.

“Like you’re trying not to smile,” she finishes, pushing off the dresser and moving closer.

And maybe you are. Maybe you’re trying not to give away how much you like this—the quiet intimacy of it, the way she looks at you like you’re the only person in the world who knows what this feels like. Maybe you’re trying not to admit how much you want to reach out and touch her, to close the space between you with a single step. But you don’t. Not yet.

The sex is unhurried, languid. Leah moves with the same precision she does on the pitch, her hands mapping the curve of your waist, the line of your jaw, like she’s planning her next move three steps in advance. It’s the same deliberation you’ve seen in her during matches—the way she reads the game like it’s written in a language only she understands. But this isn’t a match. There are no spectators, no whistles, no rules, just her and you and the slow, deliberate way she’s undoing you, piece by piece.

Her kisses are deep, focused. They land with intent, the kind that makes you forget your own name, let alone the fragile, tenuous boundaries of this arrangement. Her mouth lingers on yours, then moves to your neck, her lips brushing just beneath your ear. She doesn’t bite, not yet, but you can feel her teeth graze your skin, an unspoken promise that leaves you gasping, your fingers curling into the rough fabric of the hotel sheets.

Her fingertips press into your skin—not hard enough to hurt but just firm enough to leave the ghost of her touch behind, as though she’s marking her territory. They trace the length of your back, down your spine, to your hips. Her thumbs skim over the waistband of your joggers before she tugs them down with a kind of casual confidence that feels maddeningly unfair. She knows exactly what she’s doing. She always does.

“You’re so quiet,” she murmurs, her voice low, teasing. She presses a kiss to your collarbone, her hands slipping beneath your shirt to push it up, her palms warm against your ribs. “That’s not like you”

“I’m—” You try to respond, but her mouth finds a particularly sensitive spot on your neck, and the words catch in your throat.

“Exactly,” she says, her voice smug as she moves lower, her lips trailing down your chest, your stomach, her pace agonisingly slow. She hooks her fingers under the waistband of your underwear, and you lift your hips instinctively, barely registering the soft laugh she lets out, the sound dark and smooth like melted chocolate.

There’s no rush. Leah’s always like this—methodical, unhurried. She knows how to take her time, how to keep you teetering on the edge until your body feels like it’s no longer your own. She kisses her way back up, pausing to nip at your jaw, your shoulder, the place where your pulse beats just beneath your skin. Her hand slips between your thighs, her touch deliberate, controlled. And you’re gone.

It’s like a tidal wave, slow to build but devastating when it crashes over you. You’re not sure when you start begging—if it even counts as begging, the broken sounds spilling from your lips without your consent—but Leah doesn’t seem to mind. If anything, she seems pleased, her smirk pressing against the hollow of your throat as she mutters something you’re too far gone to catch.

At some point, she presses her forehead to yours, her breath coming in short, uneven bursts. She murmurs something—low, unintelligible, a slurred mix of swear words and your name. Or maybe it’s not your name. Maybe it’s a prayer. Maybe it’s both. You don’t ask her to repeat it. You’re too busy trying to remember how to breathe, your hands clutching at her back, pulling her closer like you can merge into her, like you can stop time if you just hold on tightly enough.

By the time you collapse onto the mattress, tangled in the hotel’s suspiciously rough sheets, you’re vaguely aware of how loud you’ve been. The walls are thin. The kind of thing where you can hear your neighbour’s TV murmuring away or the occasional flush of a toilet. It’s almost comedic, really, the way you’d tried so hard to avoid being seen earlier, only to make it painfully obvious now. You half expect a knock on the door, some irate teammate demanding silence.

Leah doesn’t seem to care. Of course she doesn’t. She lies beside you, her face flushed, her hair falling loose from the ponytail she’d barely tried to secure. She’s smirking, the way she always does after these nights, like she’s just scored the winning goal and nobody else on the team noticed. Her arm brushes against yours as she stretches out, her skin warm and damp, her breathing slow and even.

The next morning, you arrive at breakfast twenty minutes late, a record even for you. You’ve spent the better part of that time in front of the mirror, tilting your head at impossible angles to assess the carnage Leah left on your neck. Hickeys, in various stages of bruise-like blossoming, dot your skin like a battlefield casualty report. You try concealer—two layers, then three—but it only makes you look like you’ve dipped your neck in cake batter. After an extensive wardrobe evaluation, you settle on a jumper with a collar just high enough to obscure the worst of it, but not so high that it screams I’ve made several poor life choices and am now concealing the evidence.

You enter the dining area cautiously, your eyes scanning for witnesses like you’re in the opening sequence of Casino Royale. The room is loud with the sound of clinking cutlery, chairs scraping against linoleum, and conversations overlapping in a way that is both chaotic and oddly comforting. You spot Katie McCabe first, standing by the buffet with a bowl of cereal that is more milk than anything resembling a solid. Her spoon hovers mid-air as she glances at you, then swivels her head in Leah’s direction, who is seated at a corner table, scrolling through her phone like she has never made a suspicious noise in her life.

Katie’s eyes narrow, and her mouth stretches into a grin so wicked it should be trademarked. She sets her cereal down and makes a beeline for you, walking with the kind of determination that belongs exclusively to people with too much time on their hands and absolutely no regard for personal boundaries.

“Well, well,” she says, stepping closer. Her eyes dart to your neck, then back up to your face. “Someone had a busy night.”

You freeze. Instinctively, your hand twitches toward the collar of your jumper, but you stop yourself. Guilty behaviour. Act normal. Be cool. You shrug in what you hope is a convincing display of nonchalance. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Katie tilts her head, her grin widening. “Oh, don’t play dumb,” she says, gesturing vaguely toward your neck. “What’s that, then? Tactical bruising? Working on a new game plan?”

“I slipped in the shower,” you deadpan. It’s a lie so bad it physically hurts to say, but the alternative is giving Katie McCabe ammunition, and you’d rather die than give her the satisfaction.

She snorts. “Jesus, you’ve got to at least try with these excuses”

You glare at her, but it’s useless. Katie is like a shark in open water—she can smell blood, and she’s circling. She follows you to the table, sliding into the chair next to yours without so much as an invitation. Her cereal sloshes precariously in her bowl, milk dripping onto the edge of the table. She doesn’t notice. Or doesn’t care.

Leah, of course, is completely unbothered. She’s leaned back in her chair, scrolling through her phone like she’s reading the football section of The Guardian and not actively trying to avoid eye contact with you. Her hair is still slightly damp from her morning shower, and she’s wearing a hoodie that looks suspiciously like yours. Katie clocks the hoodie immediately and raises an eyebrow, but says nothing. Not yet.

“Just to clarify,” Katie says, her voice loud enough to carry to the next table, “are we calling this a team-building exercise or…?”

Leah doesn’t even flinch. Without looking up from her phone, she says, “Mind your business, McCabe”

Katie lets out a delighted laugh, stealing a slice of toast from your plate like she’s earned it. “Oh, it is my business,” she says, buttering the toast with an enthusiasm that borders on offensive. “You lot kept me up all night. Thought someone was being murdered in the next room. Turns out it was just—”

“Katie,” you interrupt, your voice sharp enough to cut through her sentence. Your face is burning, your ears hot enough to fry an egg on.

Katie leans back in her chair, utterly unrepentant. “Relax,” she says, taking a bite of the toast she stole. “Your secret’s safe with me. For now”

She winks at you, a gesture so insufferable you consider lobbing a teaspoon at her head. Instead, you glance at Leah, whose lips are twitching at the edges, betraying the smirk she’s desperately trying to suppress.

You shoot her a glare that you hope translates to I will kill you later, but she only raises an eyebrow, as if to say go ahead, make my day.

Katie’s still watching you, her grin as infuriating as ever. “You’re lucky it was me who heard you,” she says, her tone dripping with mock sincerity. “Imagine if it had been Beth. She’d have the whole squad doing impressions by now”

Leah finally looks up from her phone, her expression cool, but there’s a dangerous glint in her eye. “You done?”

Katie holds up her hands in mock surrender, her grin never faltering. “I’m just saying. Maybe next time, try keeping it down. Or don’t. Makes for great entertainment”

You slump in your chair, burying your face in your hands. You can feel Leah’s gaze on you, and when you finally peek through your fingers, she’s smiling. Not smirking, not teasing, but actually smiling, like this is the most fun she’s had in weeks.

You make a mental note to kill her later. Or maybe kiss her. You haven’t decided yet.

#leah williamson #leah williamson x reader #awfc #awfc x reader #engwnt #engwnt x reader #woso #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso community

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astro-rainbow777 · 2 years ago

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Astrology Observations

Volume I

Disclaimer: Please take these with a grain of salt as I am not a professional. These are just some of my observations I’ve seen from studying random people in my life. I hope you enjoy💕

💐I know someone at work with a Taurus stellium and one of her Hinge posts says her love language is gifts, and said (jokingly I hope) that she would preform sexual favors for a guy if he bought her m&m’s lmao. She also was hooking up with this guy at our work, that she had no intentions on dating, and would get sooooooo possessive if she saw him talking to any other girl. She also talks about being possessive all the time with her “play” friends ;)

🍬 I have my 6th house and Taurus and work with sooooo many Taurus placements. I chart 75% of my coworkers and the ones I talk to the most have Taurus placements, kinda cool.

❤️‍🔥As a Scorpio Moon I’ve found myself really drawn to and appreciative of the Aries Moon nature. They are so direct & assertive with how they feel. I appreciate this so much because I don’t ever feel the need to worry if they are hiding anything from me. Especially when you really get to know an Aries moon, what you see is what you get. They also validate and encourage me to express my big feelings which makes me feel so safe! As a lot of you know Scorpio Moons can be very secretive with our feelings because they can be so big and scary to others. The last thing we want to feel is ashamed for how we feel things and Aries moons get that, and they genuinely don’t hold a grudge against you for anything you say whenever you’re emotional. Just having that type of energy in a connection makes healing and growing in a relationship 10 times easier for us! Thank you sm to the Aries Moons out there! Just to add the 2 Aries Moons I am close with have Scorpio in their personal placements as well….if you don’t relate maybe that’s why lol

👽Scorpio & Virgo in big 3 🤝 Being the most observant people you will ever meet in your life! They pick up on the teeniest little things ever, for ex. If you have a stain or wrinkle anywhere on your clothes that’s the first thing they will pick up on. Also this combination is usually not a fan of change from my experience. Like if you move something from the “correct” place 4 inches over they will be like “Why are touching my shiz brah?”-Never fails. They like the routines and the consistency. They will literally spot a bird 10 yards away and be like omg is that a gRey-WIngEd trUmPetER?!?!! And I’m like how??? How did you even? These people notice everything, probably a great investigator too-same with Gemini/Scorpio placements!

♟️I promise you Virgo placements care about doing something “correctly/right” more than you do- even whenever it doesn’t directly effect them. They are so funny in the way that they operate I love them 😂 If you ask a Virgo to hang up a picture on the wall- please make sure you have a leveler!!!! They will spend 15 minutes minimum making sure that it’s even, if you don’t provide the necessary tools they will rehang something until it is perfection! Once a Virgo was doing a double nose piercing on me and kept redoing the mark of where she was going over and over and over again just to make sure it was perfectly even with my other piercing. Which I appreciated but I could tell if I left the shop with a lop sided nose ring it was going to bother her more than it would me! Very Wholesome peeps- ily guys fr 💙

☮️Gemini Venus’ do tend to be pretty loyal from my experience- but if they are bored or in an unfulfilling partnership they have the tendency to mentally cheat like doing tarot readings to see if their ex still thinks about them type of shh 😭Also the type to gossip about their partner or make up rumors about their relationship. Then they go home to their boo and act like nothing is wrong? 7th house Gemini tho can be very flighty whenever it comes to intimacy (I have this placement)- I am extremely loyal but if me and my partner get into a fight I’m prepared to break up always. I have a 7th stellium tho so I’m not sure how y’all would relate or not 💗

🏖️Leo moons NEED a creative outlet in order to be emotionally fulfilled imo! They thrive having their own little show-from what I’ve seen with these guys they love having a hobby they can share with the world and regularly be the center of attention. No joke-these people are some of the most talented beings I have met in my life! They 100% have a gift or a niche they get a lot of positive attention for and desire to share with the world. Every Leo moon I have been close with loves to perform for their loved ones- it is so wholesome like they are sharing a part of their soul with you⛲️

🐟Heavy 12th house placements (mainly Mercury & Venus) read poetry regularly or relate a lot to poetry. Even if it’s like little Tik tok or instagram posts. I’ve also noticed these guys like to just have books-even if they don’t read regularly? I lived with a 12th house Mercury w/ Neptune in the 1st house and they like to read poetry but only whenever they are depressed. I think that this individual in particular also just really likes for other people to think that they are super poetic themselves. They like to talk about poetry and the arts but I’ve lived with them for almost a year and they rarely do artsy things. Venus in the 12th though genuinely loves poetry and regularly reads it. Venus in 12th is also BEAUTIFUL AF but thinks they have nothing to offer most of time? Like I don’t understand. Blind to their own beauty but so quick to see everyone else’s. Angels 😇

🦀As a Cancer stellium (Mars, Venus, Jupiter) in the 8th, I have lied to people about how I am feeling, or what I am doing as a form of emotional protection. I used to rarely let my friends and family know how I am doing-especially if I’m doing bad. I regularly feel bad for being upset with others, and it leads me to just completely abandon emotional honesty if I don’t think someone will take to my feelings/boundaries well. I AM SENSITIVE AND DELICATE and I’m also damn good at hiding it for I have thine Scorpio Moon in 12th🧚‍♀️ People only know what I want them to know- I’m in therapy guys! So please don’t worry about me 🥸

🌝P.S. happy cancer season reeeeee

I hope you enjoyed my first lil observation!!!🎉

I encourage feed back and kind constructive criticism! Please lmk how you felt and how you relate! Let’s connect! Let’s talk! Mwah 💋

Ty sm for reading 💕

-Kya

⬇️FEAST YOUR EYES FOR THIS IS MY NATAL<3

🌈 I LOVE RAINBOWS 😇

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coryosmin · 9 months ago

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curiously asking… the hunger games men and their response to reader telling them that theyre demisexual

i would start by saying that i think they’re all pretty open minded but here you go!

for those who don’t know, being demisexual means only being able to have sex if you have a close emotional relationship with that person.

coriolanus - i think coriolanus would take it as a challenge to get you to fall in love with him, truthfully. whether he likes you romantically or not, he’d be the type to make it his goal for you to be comfortable enough to have sex with him.

tigris - she’s so supportive!! she’d be understanding and honestly, she may feel similarly too.

sejanus - sejanus would be confused at first as to what that means but ultimately, so supportive. he would explain that sex is a very intimate thing and that there’s nothing wrong with waiting until you’ve developed an emotional connection with him. just means he gets to take you out on more dates 🥰🥰

haymitch - he would be so confused and not care too much. i think he would go “i’m never going to force you to have sex with me. whenever you’re ready is fine with me.” and kinda just leave it at that.

finnick - finnick would be grateful. i think with his past trauma, hearing that you cannot have sex until you have that close emotional relationship let’s him know that you’re in it for him and not for his body.

johanna - she’s a very sexual person i think. so she would be put off at first. emotions aren’t her forte truthfully. but after having time to think about it, she’d be understanding while also telling you about her own needs and such. at the end though, it’s worth waiting because you’re worth it to her.

peeta - peeta doesn’t mind at all. he’s the type to think that knowing one another on a more emotional level is better than having sex immediately. it adds a whole new intimacy level that you can’t get from just strict passion.

katniss - i think katniss would be very understanding and would be perfectly okay with that. she just loves spending time with you and being with you.

#minsasks #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #thg #thg tbosas #tbosas #the hunger games imagine #the hunger games reactions #the hunger games headcanon #coriolanus snow #tigris snow #sejanus plinth #haymitch abernathy #finnick odair #johanna mason #peeta mellark #katniss everdeen

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spockfallsinlove · 2 years ago

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spirk prompt request: a moment on the bridge or at dinner with the bridge crew where Spock says something off handedly (like maybe Jim mentions having misplaced something and without hesitating Spock tells him it's on his nightstand) that subtly reveals to everyone the level of intimacy between Spock and Jim, with a focus on everyone's reactions. thank you!!

"It's not like I tried to provoke a potential galactic war!" Jim protests as he spears a piece of fried chicken off his plate. "It was a woefully inadequate translation."

"But somehow, those kinds of things only seem to happen to you," Bones shoots back. He glares at Jim's plate. "And I told you to have the chicken."

"I am having the chicken."

"The grilled one, you intentionally obtuse man. Your blood pressure—" Bones starts, face already red with an impending lecture on Jim's health.

"So Spock," Jim cuts in, turning to his First Officer. "How did things fare on the bridge while I was away?"

"Quiet, Captain," Spock says with a dainty swipe of napkin across his lips. "I believe Uhura has some interesting communications she picked up while we were stationed," he adds, nodding to her. (She's sitting across from Jim, also having the fried chicken, but no one's yelling at her about it.)

"It's just a few snatches I managed to translate," Uhura says, handing a PADD to Jim over the plates. "And you should really have asked me to do the translations for this mission. Starfleet HQ means well, but they do tend to hire linguists fresh out of the academy."

"I'll never stray again," Jim promises, setting the PADD down in front of him. He pulls up the document in question and begins to read Uhura's notes. Spock, next to him, bends his head down as well, their temples nearly touching as he reads in tandem. The rest of the bridge crew turns back to their usual lunchtime chatter, the hum of the mess room buzzing around Spock and Jim as they read.

"I can't make any sense of this," Jim murmurs.

Spock nods. "Further analysis will be required."

"Could make a great bedtime story," Jim says, grinning at his First Officer. "Better than that math nonsense you always insist on reading to me."

Bones, across from Jim, drops his fork onto the plate midair. His wide eyes dart between Jim and Spock. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, don't get me started," Jim emphatically sighs, leaning back in the chair and waving off Spock's attempt to speak, pitching his voice even louder. "No, don't try to defend yourself, mister. Every night I put up with that nonsense. No one needs to read twenty different arguments on the Pythagorean theorem, much less talk about it, while the poor sap next to you who understands none of it is just trying to sleep and—What?" Jim finally looks at Spock, who has a panicked look on his face. "What's wrong, Spock?"

He realizes too late that the mess room has gone quiet. At least twenty pairs of eyes are staring him down. Uhura has a hand over her mouth, a huge smile hidden behind it. Sulu's jaw has dropped. Bones looks redder in the face than he ever has. Scotty is very intentionally not giving anybody, much less his senior officers, eye contact.

"Oh," Jim says, stupidly, and a little belatedly. He turns to Spock, giving him a bashful grin. "I think this means that you've won the bet, my dear."

There's a smile dancing behind Spock's eyes. He pushes his knee into Jim's under the table; a small but powerful gesture as far as Vulcan standards are concerned. "Two weeks," he says, soft and low. "You have kept the secret longer than I expected."

Jim shrugs, rolling his eyes at himself, before going back to eating. At least he wouldn't have to work so hard mincing his words anymore. "Well, go ahead," he says to the twenty pairs of eyes on him, waving a hand. "Have at it."

Another blissfully peaceful, silent moment passes before the mess hall breaks into a cacophony of cheers, exclamations, and one Southern-tinged horrified wail rising above the rest.

#i hope this was ok lol!!!!#this was way too fun to write #spirk #stark trek tos #space husbands #my writing #also i did not edit this i am literally throwing it into the world with its hair wild and unbrushed #enjoy!!

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makutaservaela · 2 months ago

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Headcanon Ramblings: Nonverbal Cues

Rambling a bit on Nonverbal cues, signs of affection, etc, and theorizing on throwaway lines and scenes from Bio-Parenting to assist.

Masks are, of course, very intimate. Taking off your mask in front of someone is equivalent to a human pulling their pants down in front of someone- either mooning, if meant as an insult, or closely intimate if meant for affection.

(Top is pre-me getting a Hahli Mahri figure and learning how dark her blue is) Given that Baina, who is around age 7 has a running gag of trying to take people's masks off, this generally implies that kids don't really understand the inappropriateness of masks being removed. This is equal to a 7 year old girl put in a dress by her parents who just decides to throw the dress off and run around in her underwear when she finds the dress inconvenient. The kid can probably be taught not to do it, but can't really comprehend why it's important.

Masks would also get in the way of kissing, so Matoran tend not to do that. For Matoran, asking your partner to weaken themselves just so you can add unneeded levels of intimacy to the scene is basically their version of a spanking fetish. They can eat with their mouths, and in my HC they lost the ability to absorb energy any other way, so presuming they make saliva to do so, they likely also have an instinct to kiss for the same reason we do: to share genetic information.

Otherwise, the Matoran version of kissing would be a gentle headbutt. This could act as a cheek kiss, head kiss, lip kiss, etc, so an outsider viewing can't generally learn the intimacy of the action just by the action itself.

Speaking of kissing-

Given that Makuta have more mouthy masks that can even interact with their expression, they can and absolutely do kiss. They are the most likely to do it, and it can be a close-friend gesture to them.

Skakdi can't really kiss due to the strain needed to close their mouths. They can do it, but it's not very comfortable or a preferred method of affection. Agori and Glatorian kiss.

Vortixx kiss too, but it is considered quite private, as is any other display of affection.

For that matter, Vortixx are quite promoting of lesbians, and lesbian affection is considered aesthetically pleasing and often appears in art, as are displays of a male being affectionate to a female, but for a female to publicly display affection to a male is considered strange or demeaning to her. Vortixx ladies can be very gentle with their husbands behind closed doors, but in public, he is expected to dote on her and she is expected to ignore it (if they are married) or downplay it (if she is single and he is flirting with her).

Canonically, Toa seem to like to pat Matoran on the head as a friendly gesture.

Back to the HC, The first Toa who tried this on an Agori got sucker-punched. Agori don't mind a headpat from another Agori or a shoulder/back/arm pat from an Agori or Glatorian, but I HC they generally do not respect Glatorian and consider them a threat, so any action a Glatorian would take that would be showing off their height would be seen as a personal insult to an Agori.

Makuta and Skakdi are both prone to tongue-grooming. This is much more intimate to Skakdi than to Makuta. Getting anywhere close to a Skakdi's teeth is generally a very intimate action.

The fist bump is a classic symbol for Toa and Matoran. It is used as a greeting, a casual farewell, and just generally an acknowledgement of friendship. Shoulder and back grabs are around this level as well for both species.

The handshake, hand grab, or wrist grab is much more intimate, and seen as a deep greeting or deep farewell.

General proximity goes a long way for Skakdi-

Especially being willing to sleep in close proximity to another Skakdi. Sleeping with physical contact is very intimate to them, and any sort of close proximity sleeping is a trust that they won't attack you. The Piraka have come a long way since the days of canon.

Making yourself bigger is a common threat tactic for more aggressive species like Makuta and Skakdi. This can include puffing out chests, Makuta flapping their wings, etc. Brandishing weapons such as claws, fangs, and actual weapons is also useful for them, but not so much for Toa. Toa and Matoran weapons are often tools with multiple purposes, so a Toa or Matoran holding a weapon out at another doesn't automatically come off as a threat, depending on the weapon.

Skakdi tails are very emotive. They wag when excited and tuck when distressed. They are also useful for balance and quick turning.

Matoran are not prone to reading facial expressions, given that it can be a bit hard to do behind masks. This caused some confusion when they met the Agori.

#bionicle #fanfiction

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ddeongies · 4 months ago

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i need to lock in so i can try and do a thinkpiece for chapter 12 but that will maybe have to come later(slash never...) bc we are in the same boat and my brain is mushhhh right now so this might also be incoherent but HELLO HI i saw and read ur update so quickly i think something activated in me like nmau sleeper agent. this chapter was so cute 🥹🥹🥹 i love them sm...to my earlier ask YESSS TRUST AND CONSENT IS SO SEXYYYY ESPECIALLY WHEN CHARACTERS RESPECT WHEN SOMEONE'S SAYING NO and it's so good to see that from both sides too, i kind of said everything i have to say abt it in that other ask but really it's just so lovely how comfortable they are with each other despite the still lingering uncertainty about the nature of their relationship AUGH.

i love ryujins inner monologue all the time but just seeing how yeji seeps into her thoughts more and more over time and seeing her just bask in this overwhelming presence and her blossoming feelings like shes down BADDDDD, just this headfirst tumble from plain attraction into (almost) love i love themmmm.

ik we love seeing sexy top yeji but her cutie side is JUST AS IMPORTANT!!! soft pouty yeji im so...shes so...and her unfaltering desire to do whatever she thinks will make ryujin happy like even though she had already said it was fine they weren't hooking up, still offering just omg chill. i love her. sometimes she needs to think about herself first though. but thats just adding back on to my earlier point like ryujin is there and counter balances where yeji's mind might go and reassures her that yes she does actually like yeji as a friend before anything else.

i love the level of intimacy they've reached in this chapter...playing with fingers while cuddling always gets me like . we are seeing each otherrrr its so important. and the soft kisses without leading into anything else like AAGHBH THEYRE SOOOO the way u write them is sooooo........

let me add the little bits i did have from 12 thinkpiece i half started ummm.

first of all. yejiselle IM NODDINGGGGG THEYRE LITERALLY SO GREAT i love aetzy i love their friendship u literally give them such a fun dynamic even though theyre not the main focus. second of all. i really appreciate the way you explore that quieter, more contemplative side of yeji, like we all know she's a talker but this yeji(all of your yejis really) feels so steady, so calming, so safe. the kind of warmth that puts you to sleep because of how relaxed you feel etc etc. third of all... when ryujin gets a little bit mouthy and then they start a playful banter oh exactly and the ROUGHHOUSING YESSSSSS like u literally get it u literally understand everything

ok back to business. i really like your descriptions of like. scenery. like even just beyond actually describing it the way you do it makes it feel like actual characterization both in the way things in rooms are set up and the way whichever pov character notices and describes things its so great.

...the eager beaver shirt...ur sick....i also love when we get to see snippets uve posted show up in whichever fic theyre from

i think that's all for now i might come back again later if i think of anything else im dying to comment on, also i saw u got around to my other ask and i loved reading ur answer so much like we literally are seeing eachother abt everything. (and dont worry about taking a while to answer them, i totally get it). as always. thank you and take care!!!

-🖤

omg i will eagerly await a chapter 12 think piece no rush no rush 😁 (and never is good too lol i feel you very hard on the brain mush issue godspeed friend)

i love showing consent and trust and stuff and one of my goals with nmau ryeji is to show like just them having this comfort and compatibility and mutual respect from really early on. like it’s not too hard to get through the slightly messier and more uncertain parts of getting together when the foundation you have is so good and easy! like do they know how to ask each other out? no! is it still worth it to keep trying? i’d say so!

god yeah yeji is SO much more present for ryu than she used to be like early on if yeji wasn’t physically there ryu wasn’t thinking about her so constantly but now…. she’s down just as bad as yeji is lol i love it and that’s what it’s like when you’re into someone… like everything is about them and you don’t even realize it

part of what makes sexy top yeji so sexy is the fact that she’s also this cute and pouty softy like she’s just all around precious and then she says or does something more 🥵 and it’s like oh…

but yeah it’s also really important to me that they had this baseline of friendship first. like you don’t need that for a good relationship (i literally met my wife on tinder so we dated in a very straightforward way lol), but for these two i really like it’s necessary for them to both get to the places they need to be idk

playing with fingers is so important….. especially when it’s something that irl ryeji be doing like please ladies 😭 and they both have such nice hands too 😭 (something that may be coming up in the chapter i’m currently working on lol)

i love aetzy so much they’re so fun n cute! (i also love yeji and jimin’s friendship, but it didn’t work out narratively in nmau sorry girl. giselle specifically felt like a perfect non-athlete friend for yeji to have in this story specifically i’m glad she has a role.

i really see yeji as such a steady, grounded, emotionally intelligent person. it’s very strange to me when people boil her down to like yapping and being clumsy (which are both parts of her that i adore), but like i think the more and more we get to see of yeji when she’s not in pure like Idol Mode (like in her instalogs) it just proves more what was already clear. she’s like a calm, observant, contemplative person and idk i think that’s really neat. ryujin has literally said if she’s the sun yeji is the moon like… it’s fascinating how little we truly know her (and i will stop my essay on how incredible i think yeji is as a person and continue to keep addressing it in my writing lol i got carried away)

also YES roughhousing is so important like they’re just acting like two kids with crushes which is what they are!! any excuse to get a little physical with the girl you like lolol

and thank you! i really try to make scenes feel grounded. sometimes i’ll do a first pass where i just focus on dialogue and internal monologue and then i go back in and choose like the setting/activity and try to flesh everything out

lol i definitely got a bit carried away here, but thank you as always for such a thorough and lovely comment!! i love chatting about all this stuff so so much it’s one of the best parts of writing in this amazing little community! 🥰

#that's a long answer LOL #anyway yeah gosh i don't have much to say in the tags this time i think i said it all lol #asks #nmau #🖤 anon

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casspurrjoybell-31 · 1 year ago

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The Consort - Chapter 28 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Finn

Kelly urges me downstairs.

I have to squint as I follow a step behind him, studying the movements of his feet to make sure I don't trip.

Once again the haunting light of the flames dances across the wall in a pattern of soft shadows.

We turn the corner into the living room and Brayden glances up at us.

For a split second, I'm confused that he almost seems to be expecting us.

But my confusion fades as quickly as it arises.

Of course he's expecting us, he heard the entire thing.

They both did.

He angles his body just slightly in his high-backed, leather chair and nods for us to take a seat as well.

Kelly sits in the high-backed chair across from him, leaving me with the plush armchair in the corner.

Being in Brayden's presence so soon after our moment of intimacy ignites my desire all over again.

He finally gave me a small taste of what it could be like to be with him... really be with him and now I want even more.

I want it all.

Brayden's expression is unreadable as I take a seat.

The redness in his eyes has once again transformed to a rich auburn color from our recent feeding and I feel a sense of accomplishment knowing it was my blood that helped quench his hunger.

"You need to convince her to stay," Brayden says after a moment of silence.

Kelly nods, pursing his lips as if he wants to add more... but he doesn't.

I awkwardly shift in my chair, suddenly feeling far smaller and shorter than the two of them.

"How?" I ask.

"Nothing I say will make a difference."

Kelly's jaw tightens.

"You haven't even tried, Finn."

I shoot a glare to my best friend.

"And what exactly would you have me say to her, Kelly? To stick around until her last shreds of self-worth have fallen to pieces? Or how about her only remaining friend is asking here to stay here when everything about this goes against everything she believes in?"

"Either will do," he mutters sarcastically under his breath.

There's a twinge of guilt lingering in his voice, though, and it's enough to tell me that he sees my point.

How can I ask Fiona to stay here, especially after seeing how upset she was tonight?

Succumbing to a live feeding was hard enough for her.

Sleeping with the 'enemy' brought it to a level I know she wasn't prepared for.

"I can't," I say simply.

Brayden's eyes narrow.

"You can and you will."

"Why?" I ask, my question far gentler than the last.

My vampire's nostrils flare, and anger flits across his features in the same fashion as the flickering flames against the walls.

"Because she is Kelly's source of blood," Brayden answers simply.

"And having her around insures that I have another vampire fighting by my side should we need to protect you."

Kelly nods in agreement.

"Besides," Brayden adds coldly.

"She knows too much. For someone who claims to hate immortals, she didn't seem all too concerned about offering up her blood to one in exchange for freedom. If she gets desperate again and gets into the wrong hands, I don't want her using what she knows about us as a bargaining chip."

It's the first thing that Brayden says that makes my opinion sway.

I don't care what Fiona says about me to someone else but Brayden is right.

She does know a lot, including the location of my vampire's real home.

If she ever used that and it somehow ended up hurting Brayden, I would never forgive her.

Or myself. I mull over their words.

The embers to continue to crackle beside me, a sparring banter atop a glowing flame.

"What do you need me to do?" I whisper hesitantly.

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ariesjupiter · 3 years ago

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Mitski Birth Chart Reading

This is just my interpretation based on Mitski’s birth chart and what I know of her music. Let me know if you have any suggestions of someone I should make a post on next! If you’re interested, I offer natal chart readings, just check my pinned post!

Libra sun: In terms of basic personality and ego, Mitski is focused on creating balanced, harmonic relationships. Intimate, one-on-one relationships are a major part of her identity. Libra is ruled by venus which represents love and beauty. After all, she is known for her lyrics relating to her romantic relationships. The lyric “I love everybody because I love you” is so profoundly Libra to me. She is friendly and charming. She sees herself reflected and other people and people see themselves reflected in her (for better or worse). Venus also rules the arts and Mitski is a natural artist in every sense of the word. Her music sonically is very unique, inventive, and creative as she experiments with mixing different genres. This is influenced by her sun in the 11th house. Sun in the 11th house also indicates an emphasis on friendships and memberships of certain groups and communities. It also indicates an importance of her hopes and dreams. Her sun in 3° explains why she is such a talented writer, communicator, and lyricist. Peak libra sun culture: “Young adult romance is the shit” (a real quote from the queen herself). And let’s not forget her iconic quote from 2016: “I’m a libra so my sexuality is essentially “you can really be any gender as long as you treat me like a princes.” Truer words have never been spoken.

Capricorn moon: Despite how personal her music is, Mitski is a rather private and reserved person, particularly when it comes to expressing her emotions. Also, Capricorn is associated with the father and she has been known to be especially private regarding her dad’s career. She is serious and intense with emotions but can sometimes get detached. The emphasis is on having control over her feelings. She is ambitious and a practical person. Her emotions are connected to her career. Those who do not know her well may see her as cold. In temperament she tends to be melancholic. Emotionally mature and wise beyond her years. Straightforward and honest with her expression. She is dependable, loyal, hard working, & realistic. Emotional fulfillment is often tied to achievement and success. Her moon in the 2nd house and 2° suggests material comforts make her feel safe. With the 2nd house being associated with venus, she is able to express her emotions in an artistic way. Could be protective over material objects. Sentimental. Music has a big impact on her emotions and mood. Peak capricorn moon culture: “I didn’t really feel anything. I’ve stopped feeling things for a long time” - Mitski, The Fader Interview, 2017. In all seriousness, I hope my capricorn moons are doing good.

Virgo mercury: Mitski is practical and detail oriented when it comes to communication and matters of learning. She takes the time to choose the right words to convey her thoughts. She is clear and concise. Mercury is in its sign of rulership here. Her mercury in the 10th house suggests that she will be known for her communication style. Has a lot of thoughts but is also organized. Analytical. Mitski likes making lists. Loves to give advice. Mercury is in 16° (cancer degree) and she has a soft spoken voice. Talks about the past and her roots (cancerian themes).

Virgo venus: In love, Mitski will assume a caretaking role and will gladly help her partner finish mundane tasks and chores. A devoted and faithful lover. Love is about the mundane and routine details of life. Love is about service. Acts of service tend to be virgo venus’ main love language. She wants to help improve her partner’s life. She is patient and observant. Values love that is simple and authentic. Appreciates a partner with whom she can have intellectual conversations. May have a tendency to be too critical on herself when it comes to love. Venus rules aesthetics & style and she tends to have a modest fashion sense. Mitski has voiced her interest in astrology and how she has asked people she’s interested for their birth times lmao. Her venus is in the 11th house, she treats a lover like she would treat a friend. In fact, romantic love probably equates to platonic love in her book. She has her venus in 24° which is a pisces degree, which explains this natural interest in astrology.

Gemini mars: Could be impatient because she moves quickly. Efficient. Has a lot of goals and likes to keep busy. She thrives when she talks to others and exchanged ideas. Likes to multitask. Very versatile. Probably has a flirty, bubbly energy when she’s attracted to someone. Attracted to intellect. Desire to see things from multiple perspectives. Gemini rules the hands so she’s skilled with playing instruments and writing. Likes to try new things. Witty and humorous. Could have nervous energy or fidget often.

Leo jupiter: The planet of luck and expansion in Leo is a big indicator of fame. Her jupiter is also in the 9th house and in 7°. Jupiter in the 9th indicates being born in a different country from where you reside now. Mitski is biracial and has lived in multiple countries growing up. She loves to learn, particularly about other cultures and ways of life. She is open minded, philosophical and values freedom and being independent. She attracts good fortune when she travels (touring!) and also when she focuses on partnerships/intimate relationships (7°). Combining this energy, Mitski attracts luck when she acts dramatically, demonstrates/teaches her knowledge, expresses herself artistically, shows her warm hearted and sometimes stubborn side, & takes chances, shows her bravery, and takes the lead. Be the Cowboy is big leo energy 🤠

Capricorn saturn: Mitski is responsible, practical, goal-oriented, and cautious. With saturn in the 3rd house, she probably had to grow up quickly and become mature at a young age. Capricorn saturn people tend to be very successful people. Strong willed. Tendency to be quiet and is a good listener. Could also be outspoken. With saturn in 18° (virgo degree), she’s very hard working but she may need to learn how to take a break and let herself rest and recharge.

Capricorn uranus: This placement also indicates that she goes after her goals and is efficient and practical in achieving them. Uranus being in the 2nd house shows that she could make money from being unique and groundbreaking. 2nd house also rules the voice! Her values are unique and she could be resistant to change them. Her self esteem could be in a constant state of flux and be tied to money. Her income could rapidly change, like maybe she did not get paid much but then suddenly she starts making a lot of money. Uranus is in 5° which is a fame degree. She’s famous for being authentically herself and very much an individual in the industry that can’t be compared.

Capricorn neptune: Capricorn neptunes are most likely realists. She is skilled at going after her dreams. Her dreams are practical and connected to themes of wealth, power, and control. Neptune in 3rd house shows a dreamy, poetic way of communicating. A very creative placement. Dreamy vibes. Could be elusive in communication, open for interpretation. Neptune is in 11° so this gives aquarian energy. Idealistic with friends and always searching for ways to achieve her dreams.

Scorpio pluto: Her power lies in her ability to analayze human interactions and be introspective with herself since it’s in the 1st house. She is very self aware. Mitski understands that life is about going through changes and she welcomes the ability to grow and rebuild. She has intense, deep emotions but has control over them and how she expresses them. Pluto in 16° adds a cancerian energy. Her strength lies in her ability to nurture and be empathetic.

Scorpio rising: First impressions of Mitski can be that she’s mysterious and secretive. A powerful and intimidating presence. This explains to me why she loves dressing in black. She probably has a strong dislike for anything superficial. She likes to get to know people on a deeper level and connect with them. She likes honesty and is probably very perceptive and intuitive. Privacy is so important to her! She has a lot of layers and wants people to unpack them, but it may take her a while to open up. She is powerful and has endurance. Her presence leaves an impact on people. Loyalty and intimacy is important. She’s not afraid to talk about taboo topics or scary, heavier emotions. Passionate and even a tendency to get fixed on or obsessed with something or someone. Her rising is in 15° (gemini degree) so she’s clever, curious, and thinks quickly. a little more flexible than a regular Scorpio rising would be.

Leo midheaven: People might see her as dramatic or arrogant. In the public eye, she was meant to be a performer. At her concerts she’s known for putting on a good show & includes interpretive dance and choreography. She becomes herself more when she’s on stage. The stage is where she shines. Has a lot of pride connected to her career. Reputation for creatively expressing herself and being brave and taking risks. Wants to be admired, especially regarding her career. Her purpose is to become a leader. Mc in 22° (capricorn degree) shows that she is a very hard worker when it comes to her career. She won’t let anyone stop her when it comes to achievement and success in her field. Another indicator of being at the top of her career and being publicly recognized for it!

TLDR: Mitski is a natural born singer, performer and artist. She is unique, talented, and an introspective writer. Being earth and water dominant, she balances practicality & stability with sentimentality & raw emotion. With all of her Capricorn placements, she is grounded and doesn’t let fame get to her head. Her chart ruler is Scorpio pluto in the 1st which means that major transformations will be a big theme in her life, especially regarding herself & her identity. She is always reflecting and looking at herself on a deep level.

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oftenderweapons · 3 years ago

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Dirty ABCs | Namjoon and Vixen

Pairing: Namjoon x Vixen (OC)

Wordcount: 2.1k

Genre: headcanons

Rating: 18+. Minors, do not interact.

This just me having a little bit of fun in between collabs and commissions with an NSFW alphabet, so I can also get to know my characters better (yes, they're just characters. Do not assume the boys like/dislike any of the things I mention). A new drabble should be out soon, but just in case you missed it, here's Jimin's post-Soowoozoo smut! Please, read the trigger warnings carefully 🥺💖

Here's my masterlist! enjoy!!!! 💜✨

Trigger warnings: cumshots, cumeating, creampie, marking, unprotected sex, switch!vixen, switch!joon, daddy!joon, DDLG, lapdance, stripping, masturbation, voyeurism, exhibitionism, roleplay, homework within a professorxstudent roleplay, positions (doggy, missionary, reverse cowgirl, bend over), intimacy kink (?), bondage (hands tied, gags), impact play, oral sex, oral fixation, biting, casual mention of foot fetish, food play, choking kink, erotic massage, jealousy (kink), sapiosexuality, size kink, mention of infidelity and sharing partners, mention of outdoor sex, sex toys (dildo, vibrator, manacles, cockring, paddle, buttplug), edging, orgasm denial, orgasm control, overstimulation, BDSM club, uhm...bicuriosity ig?, thickdick!Namjoon, bubblebutt!Vixen impressive sex drive (?)

Aftercare: Namjoon is the kind of guy who’d gladly collapse in bed after some good, nasty fucking. He puts plenty of energy in it and he isn’t content until he’s barely alive before calling it a night. Yes, both him and Vixen need to force the other into heading to the bathroom and cleaning up before falling asleep. When he goes especially hard on her, aftercare becomes a way to relax for both of them: he needs to pamper her to even things out, and she in return likes spoiling him, giving him cuddles, letting him fall asleep with his head on her chest while she strokes his hair. Yes, his favourite cuddle is her touching his hair and chatting about how they felt during sex.

Body part: He most definitely has a thing for legs, hips and ass. Vixen is all about his chest and arms — but, truth is she’s absolutely crazy about his neck.

Cum: He either cums inside or on Vixen’s ass. No other alternatives for him. He hates cumming in her mouth, mostly because her cunt is soooo much better to him; and then again, that means he can eat her out right after — or mark her up and shove his cum back inside. Vixen is a fan of him cumming inside, she’s pretty much traditional about this.

Dirty secret: Namjoon loves when Vixen doms him. He’d never admit that out loud but he’s praying for her to tie him up and strip for him before performing a lapdance and fucking herself with that glass dildo he bought her… He’ll just wait… hopefully… Vixen wants Namjoon to give her homework on some impossible topic and then punish her for every mistake she makes while he’s dressed in a suit and glasses.

Experience: We know all about Joon’s and Vixen’s bodycount. Joon had four, possibly five partners, one of which broke his heart. He wasn’t entirely vanilla with them, but Vixen is most definitely the spiciest he’s been with — and the most rewarding. Vixen had two partners before Namjoon and her first boyfriend was way more experienced than Namjoon is, but that is not an issue to her. She knows if she ever asked him, they could try out pretty much anything.

Favourite position: Namjoon is mostly about doggy and missionary. Doggy for enthusiastic fucking with that teenage eagerness that characterises them both. Missionary when he needs to make love to her slow and steady — though he admits Vixen on top of him in reverse cowgirl is also a hot topic for him. Vixen likes good old missionary since she likes Namjoon’s body shielding hers. She also enjoys bending over for him — especially on the back of the sofa.

Goofy: neither of them is that goofy when it comes to sex. For them is a moment to get rid of tension and gain more intimacy. It’s a moment of communication and connection, and a very spiritual one at that. There might be little giggles and laughs here and there when they’re in a playful mood, but even then they’re more happy than goofy.

Hair: Namjoon trims his hair slightly, just to keep things neat and tidy. Vixen used to shave at the beginning of their relationship. She waxed a few times, to try something different and to feel Namjoon’s tongue better when he goes down on her. She switched to trimming when she found out Namjoon enjoyed a more natural look.

Intimacy: Nothing isn’t intimate between these two. Brushing their teeth together before going to bed? Religion. Getting dinner ready? A ritual. Making love? Therapy. Fucking like gorillas? Relief. These two share one single soul. They’re each other’s temple, and their bedroom is their church.

Jack off: These two? Masturbation galore. They’re the literal proof that being in a relationship should never stop you from taking care of yourself. They masturbate together while they watch porn, they masturbate to the sight of the other one doing it or just watching them. Namjoon is a huge fan of watching Vixen touch herself. He can do it with his hands tied, untied, or stroking his cock. He really doesn’t care as long as he can watch. Plus the fact that the wall dividing his bedroom from the shower is made of glass really gives him the best view when he has morning wood and Vixen is washing herself. And that goes both ways. She likes watching him while she showers, putting on a bit of a show. Vixen also likes watching Namjoon masturbate, though she prefers putting her hands on him. And Namjoon prefers her hands to his own, especially since she’s so fucking good at that.

Kink: We all know these two are the resident DDLG freaks. Other than that Namjoon suffers from a pretty severe case of voyeurism. On the side, all giving, we have oral fixation, impact play, marking, biting, cumplay and cumeating, and a very mild, very experimental foot fetish. He’s also into roleplay, especially regarding school/university environments. To that, we need to add on Vixen’s end exhibitionism and food play, and then, all giving, choking kink, exhibitionism, bondage and gags, erotic massage.

Location: these two need someplace private, since they can’t get in the mood unless they’re 200% sure they can take their time and relax and be as loud as possible. Namjoon would never stand the idea of them getting caught: he needs to protect Vixen. And Vixen would never try something in public. She knows he’d be too focused on the possible dangers to properly enjoy the experience. That doesn’t mean that they don’t tease each other in public. Vixen likes when they talk dirty in public so once they get home Namjoon rips her clothes off her.

Motivation: Namjoon gets turned on whenever Vixen looks incredibly refined and elegant, completely out of his league. Pair that up with someone flirting with her and he goes out of his way to remind her why she got his ring on her finger ten months after they first met. He also gets hot under the collar when he’s reminded of how fucking smart she is; that makes him both proud and horny. On a baser level, she just needs to grind against his thigh, rub her ass on his crotch, kiss his neck or suck his fingers to make him instantly hard. Vixen gets horny very easily when she sees him exercise power — which happens pretty often with him being the leader. Also watching him tower over someone who isn’t her makes her a little volatile — that’s her daddy, he’s her protector.

No: easy. Sharing. Even simply her moans being overheard by someone would make him nervous. Once he used to share everything about his sex life with his friends, but after he and Vixen got engaged, everything involving her without clothes on became a 100% restricted topic. He still happens to talk about sex with his friends, but he must be in need of desperate help in order to share details. Vixen agrees on sharing being a hard no. She also thinks doing stuff in public is absolutely a hard no: she’s far too attached to her job to risk a scandal ruining it. And of course she would never stand Namjoon’s career and reputation going downhill.

Oral: Both fans, Namjoon both on the giving and receiving side, though he prefers giving by far. Vixen is also a fan of receiving. If Namjoon weren’t so damn intimidating, she would enjoy giving more, too.

Pace: depends on the mood. Playful or angry? Then he’s fucking her like she’s nothing but a cocksleeve, straight up jackhammering his way in. Loving and emotional? Then they’re going slow and steady so they can feel every inch of their flesh meeting and parting and squeezing and squelching and sliding.

Quickie: yes, but not excessively. Vixen can only consider a quickie as a form of foreplay. There’s no way to satisfy her unless at least two rounds are involved. Namjoon is more than happy to take his time with her. If they don’t have that much time, they prefer masturbating together — quick, efficient, delectable.

Risk: No? The only risk he would take would be fucking her out in the open, but someplace where the possibility of getting caught is lower than 0.1%. He’d book super secluded villas for their holidays and fuck her until she’s begging him to give her a break.

Stamina: Namjoon hasn’t got too much stamina and Vixen doesn’t either, they just deprive and tease each other when they want to make it super special, otherwise they would be lazy and take naps in between a round and another. And they can truly deal with that brilliantly since they are great at foreplay and that makes up for their rather weak stamina.

Toy: These two are shameless about their toys. Vixen has a thing for dildos, and Namjoon loves spoiling her with those. She has a couple vibrators too, but she’s not that much of a fan: she has a practical one, when she needs things done quick and easy and another one that looked way too cute for her not to have it. In addition to that, they have manacles, a cockring, a paddle and a quite interesting plug.

Unfair: Being with Namjoon is all about the pleasure. He’d much rather overstimulate Vixen rather than deny her. Also because he has very poor control over his instincts and he can’t deny himself. He would tease, edge or deny Vixen only to punish her and make sure that she actually reads that as a punishment and not as some sick way for her to get exactly what she wants (aka spanks). Vixen is more on the teasing side, and she enjoys controlling Namjoon’s orgasms, but she’s very fair. They like to play dirty, but they make sure everyone gets what they need.

Volume: Namjoon is all about low and deep. His moans, groans, growls and grunts all come in a very quiet, although very eloquent way. He prefers keeping it quiet so it feels more intimate. Vixen on the other hand is very vocal, especially when Namjoon goes down on her or is trying to overstimulate her. She’s still considerate about the people living next door, but at the same time, she has a thing for doing it in the studio so she can be as loud as she wants, much to Namjoon’s — and his private tracks’ — chagrin.

Wild card: if it weren’t for his jealousy and his position, Namjoon would love to fuck Vixen in a room full of strangers, just to show how good he can make her feel, and to enjoy just how deranged she would get once adrenaline started kicking in. Claiming her in a semi-public context would help him sate his possessiveness for a good while. Vixen instead would love to go to a BDSM club with Namjoon and watch scenes from other people — maybe, potentially, join? — she most definitely wishes she had done stuff with a girl before getting with Namjoon.

X-Ray: Namjoon is packed. Length is not exceedingly more than average. But match that with more than impressive girth? That’s a wild ride. It most definitely takes a stretch. Vixen has rather small boobs — but she’s more than stubborn to make up with a full, round bubble butt.

Yearning: at the beginning they go pretty wild. Vixen is used to getting at least an orgasm before falling asleep — every night. Of course that tones down once she gets with Namjoon, especially since she learns to prefer quality over quantity and he refuses to get stuff done in ten minutes. She easily slips into a two to three times a week regimen, but deprive her for longer than ten days and she’ll feel neglected. Of course she’d take care of herself, but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t start drifting away as she’d feel emotionally neglected too. Namjoon considers himself happy as long as he can have a full weekend of fucking: he tends to cram all the sex in days where he can relax since during the week he’s often too tense to initiate anything sexual. But he wouldn’t deny it if the fancy struck him.

Zzz: He falls asleep like a bear. He goes positively lethargic the moment he hits the bed after cleaning up. Vixen finds it extremely endearing. She usually takes longer, but not too much. She likes cuddling him while he’s sleeping.

#Namjoon x vixen #namjoon headcanons #namjoon x reader #namjoon smut #namjoon alphabet #kim namjoon smut #kim namjoon scenarios #namjoon x yn #bts headcanons #bts headcanon

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mistressemmedi · 4 years ago

Text

Måneskin: "Different from whom?"

Greetings from Miley Cyrus - phenomenal numbers.

The streams of Zitti e Buoni are growing by the second, and ahead of Muse, on the top of the English charts, twelfth in the Spotify Global Chart. We almost tripled followers after Rotterdam (from 1.4 to 3.3 million, ed). Contagious and universal madness: T-shirts and merchandise sold out in 10 minutes. Like records, tickets for a tour that adds dates and expands on maps. They are even looking for us in festivals where the Rolling Stones have played. - Thomas

After the whole cocaine scandal that was started against us from France, which was later denied by my drug test, in Spain there people have been making murals with my face saying "No drugs". Some tweets made us laugh: «Congratulations, Italy! I have never been so sure that four people have fucked each other ". Miley Cyrus started following us. "You are great". “You are more” . - Damiano

From rags to riches - what a story

It was only 2016, and we were playing in restaurants, on the streets, in via del Corso (famous street in Rome). Damiano without a microphone, Thomas's guitar with broken strings, Ethan drummed on a cajón. At the occupations of the high schools in Rome (Kennedy, Virgilio, Mamiani) we had our first gigs and half an hour of fame, between those who criticized us and those who said "these guys are so cool". One of the rare times in which they offered to pay us to play - 50 euros each - we offered that money to those after us, in exchange for the chance to play during their time slow, as we knew there would have been a bigger crowd. We already understood then how it worked. That visibility was worth more than the money. We still think so ». - Victoria

The intimacy of rock - Choice of a genre

Music allows is this miracle which allows one to talk about very personal and private topics, even difficult and delicate ones. They are and remain deeply yours, but at the same time they become a confession that reaches a wider audience, and in this passage which is like a delivery, they also find their place in you, their elaboration. They are overcome, they are accepted. One moment it feels aggressive, one moment later a (soft) ballad. It's very cathartic. - Damiano

Against panic - The stage as therapy

I have suffered a lot from anxiety and panic attacks, it is a problem that I have worked on thanks to a course of psychotherapy, to my friends and family. Playing has helped me not to let myself be paralyzed by my fears, not to be limited in my private and professional life. I have learned to accept, to live with this side of me. I don't hide it. I no longer feel ashamed. - Victoria

This belief that only crazy people go to the psychologist is widespread ignorance. Nobody is born learned. And it is often difficult to understand why we are here, let alone the derivation and direction of our desires. It is a long and legitimate journey towards one's clarity. - Damiano

Essere fuori di testa – Ma diversi da loro (Be out of your mind - But different from them)

Already feeling a strong passion for something that is not a 'regular' profession but an artistic language, it puts you on a level where you're an anomaly, and while you're neither superior nor inferior to others, it places you in the condition of what breaks the mold but you're also being at a loss, leaving it to you to be bold and to take risks, hoping that they will pay off and land you somewhere. "What good is it if you don't stand out on your own?". You want to give it an aesthetic to your artistic dream, but to others it boils down to " You dress differently! You must be gay! ”, I'm 22 now and it makes me laugh, but at 17 it had an effect on me too. - Damiano

The beauty of being unique - Of believing in that and defending it

After all, we are all different not because we want to be alternative but because really no one is the same. Justice is being judged on what you do and not what you are. Justice is equality, respect, beauty. - Ethan

Fluid sexuality - Pride is freedom

We appreciate heels on men, we kiss each other, we have an open, extended mind, and we are proud of it. The horizons become vast, beyond the oppression of conservative families. With information on the web, knowledge is enriched and with it the possibility that minorities will be fewer and fewer, because majorities will be fewer and fewer. This will lower the volume to insults and bullying. If social networks can reach a village of 50 souls to reveal to someone, who is afraid of the darkness, that someone has felt that same fear.. There is no longer the need to give it a name, to define that "something" to fear, to brand it with labels that only limit you. Definitions have always had this effect on me. Gender should not even be considered in a person's judgment. Let alone orientation ". - Victoria

Sexism - A culture to be dismantled

Emma (Italian singer) dropped the bomb:" When I went to Eurovision, they insulted me over a pair of shorts. Damiano - half naked and in heels - was never criticized ". The judgment against women is constant, ferocious, and demeaning (if I have a lot of sex I'm cool but Vic a whore, where I show myself strong I'm a leader she is domineering and pain in the ass, who is successful because only because of her looks [and not the hard work she puts in]). As a male I am privileged, the harassment I suffer is not comparable to that experienced by a woman, the comments on my aesthetics are focused only on my aesthetics and do not insinuate anything about my professionalism and my competence, while women are victims of this kind of thinking in a systemic way. But I did find myself in a situation, out of nowhere, with someone who, pulling close to her for a selfie, started licking my face ... "What do you want, did you ask me?" Consent exists, and it is a must ». - Damiano

To grow as a person - The only rule to follow

For me, to conform is the total opposite of educating oneself, and the asphyxiation of one's expression (of freedom). Fortunately, I did not suffer heavy bullying, to the point where I felt I needed to change to adapt to how others saw me. But the matrix of who I am and the aggression that marks me is the same. If I'm a kid who dances and loves dolls, then allow me the freedom to do so. I used to be a kid who wanted long hair and played with Barbies. My friends, as a teenager, looked my long hair and teased me: "You have to find yourself a girl with a short hair to make up for it". My grandparents took the dolls away from me and said: “Stop it, they're not for you” ». - Ethan

“I was six and I already could not tolerate the distinctions between masculine and feminine. I've always had strong ideas about how I wanted to be. I refused things typically defined as feminine as a child, and they made fun of me for skating, for playing soccer, for not wearing skirts, for giving myself the chance to be as I wanted to be. I suffered a little, as I was bullied, but I had courage to stay true to myself, and today thanks to that courage I know that I could have been much more hurt, or I would have risked leaving the most important decision to others: the one about being just me". - Victoria

Love - music and girlfriends

I've been married to music for the past 20 years. I cannot wait to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary. - Ethan

Everyone goes through their own experiences, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, but it's never other people's business." - Thomas

When, for the first time, I developed feelings and attraction for a girl it was a bit disorienting because I had never had the courage to go beyond the limitations I had imposed on myself. For society, being heterosexual is the norm and therefore often one automatically pegs himself in that way, giving up the freedom to experience many different shades and facets of love. Once I got over the initial insecurity of having to question one's own certainties, I lived my sexuality in a very natural and free way, as it should be for everyone. - Victoria

I had paparazzi under my house morning and night. So, after four years of relationship, I finally revealed her name. I still have the paparazzi under my house morning and night, but at least I don't have to hide anything anymore. - Damiano

The value of the group - Protecting each other

But the real relationship, the real family, is between us. Our band. We believed in it from the first day, even before calling ourselves Måneskin (moonlight in Danish), even before Ethan drew a giant moon, on the poster for our first concert. We share everything, even the pain of the tragedy of Seid Visin, who committed suicide at 20 because he was a victim of racism. Being a group is what we should all do together: stay united and not retreat in the slightest in the face of abuses generated by a distorted vision of someone "being different|. - Thomas

Non ho l’età – like Gigliola (It references Gigliola Cinquetti who won both Sanremo and Eurovision with her song "Non ho l’età" which translates to Not old enough)

Before us, the only one to win Sanremo and Eurovision together was Gigliola Cinquetti (in 1964). Is there is something for which I feel I am not yet old enough for? No, honestly no. Maybe for kids. I'll be honest, I'm not enough to be a dad. - Damiano

Reached the sky - What fears still remain

We are more than in the dream, we have conquered the dream. To fly high this high, there is the risk is to fall and get hurt, but we will try not to end up like Icarus, who burns his wings with the sun. Everything is in our hands. And this - somewhat presumptuously - reassures us rather than frighten us ". - Damiano

(ORIGINAL INTERVIEW IN ITALIAN)

[Please note that I have changed some words or structure sentence, trying to make it so that the interview made more sense lol - I skipped the first two paragraphs, which was basically the interviewer gushing over how pretty the band is lmao (relatable).

Any mistakes in the translation are sorely mine, nothing was proofread, so apologies in advance]

#maneskin #ethan torchio #damiano david #victoria de angelis #thomas raggi #i'm off to drink some wine lol

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manikas-whims · 4 years ago

Note

for quick headcanons: soc ships proposals

these are simply my take, you don't have to agree. and if you wanna add something, reblog and do add your own spin :3

⚠ Warning ⚠ Long Post.

WESPER

• Since their anniversary as an official couple is coming up soon, Wylan decides to propose.

• But he realizes planning isn't exactly his best forte and seeks help from none other than Ketterdam's best schemer Dirtyhands himself.

• Kaz is flattered but even he is weak when it comes to the matter of hearts. He still agrees though, provided Wylan invests a bit in his newly brought club around the Lid. Wylan agrees.

• So Kaz simply asks Wylan to bring Jesper with him to the Fifth Harbour on the day of the event. Wylan is suspicious but he agrees in the end.

• Wylan manages to keep Jesper busy by portraying as a model for Marya's next painting, just so he can go out and pick a ring.

• When the day arrives, Wylan asks Jesper to meet him at the Fifth Harbour by 6 bells.

• Jesper being bad at dates doesn't remember if its because of some special occasion. So he decides to keep it safe and buys a bottle of expensive alcohol.

• When Wylan and Jesper arrive on time, they're both too shocked to speak, their mouths wide open.

• Kaz being Kaz has got the whole harbour decorated in traditional Kerch and Zemeni colors for the duo. There's fairy lights hanging all over, varying cuisines that Jesper has never seen in his life before and a band hired to play throughout the night.

• As they walk in, they spot Nina speaking with Colm Fahey who got invited earlier on by Kaz and Inej gave the man a lift on her Wraith as she herself didn't want to miss two of her favorite people's proposal.

• Jesper is slightly worried because of his father's presence, even more worried because he believes today's supposed to be some big event that only he can't seem to remember.

• Matthias is standing with a Priest and he comes over to congratulate Wylan & Jesper.

• The pair is very confused and so Matthias quirks his brows and tells them: "Brekker said you're getting married."

• The bottle of alcohol in Jesper's hand drops and Wylan is stuttering, unable to form coherent words. He finally yells: "This isn't what I asked Kaz!"

• Kaz finally shows up, Inej at his side. Everyone's staring at him and he shrugs. "What? Too much."

• After a few minutes of yelling and chaos between their squad, the situation is finally calmed down.

• Wylan rummages out the ring from his pocket— a golden band with their initials 'W+J' engraved in it along with intricate patterns. He looks at Jesper. "So amongst all this extravaganza, if I tell you that I want you to adore my stupid face for the rest of our lives, will you?"

• Jesper is wide eyed and has that kinda dubious expression because Wylan has managed to surprise him yet again. So he just tries to collect himself and goes, "Ofc! I already told you I like your stupid face."

• They hug and kiss and everyone cheers. Nina proposes an after-party with waffles.

• Kaz suggests they could still get married cause we know he's secretly the biggest Wesper shipper xD

Thankfully Inej drags him away.

• The actual wedding takes place a month later and yes, Kaz is the wedding planner. Kuwei is that uninvited guest..:)

HELNIK

• Nina keeps joking about wanting Matthias to propose. But she doesn't realise all her meaningless teasing has actually spurred him into action.

• He's secretly making plans and has only told Inej and Wylan about this because he knows Jesper will end up babbling. And Kaz is the last person he wants to take help from.

• He needs a place and proper timing. Inej takes up that task on herself and somehow convinces Kaz to let them use The Crow Club for just one evening.

• Wylan helps Matthias in purchasing a custom ring with a heart-shaped ruby. With his newly acquired mercher title, Wylan’s got connections with the best jewelers in Ketterdam. Marya also tags along cause she believes they'll need a woman's opinion on this.

• So on the day of the event, when Nina is coaxed into wearing the best replica of a Ravkan Kefta and brought into the Crow Club by Inej, she's excited but also wondering whats up.

• Wylan is playing some romantic melody on his flute.

• The whole club is lit by candles and as the members of Dregs part slowly, at the end is Matthias in replica of traditional Fjerdan garbs (another courtesy of Kaz).

• Nina's eyes keep growing wider and she's at a loss of words when Matthias bends on one knee. "Nina Zenik, will you be the beguiling Drusje to this mighty Fjerdan till the end of time?"

• There's tears in her eyes and she looks around everyone. Wylan is smiling, Inej gives a nod, Jesper gives a thumbs up and winks, even Kaz's eyes flash somewhat in approval.

• She looks back to the brave blond soldier she fell for. He must've planned for them to be unified in their own lands' traditional clothes. She smiles, already tearing up. "Saints Matthias, I'm supposed to be the one full of surprises." She messily wipes her eyes and mumbles, "I..will."

• The whole Dregs break into a roar of cheers as Matthias glides the ring on her finger. Marya is clapping her hands in joy.

• Rotty yells from somewhere in the crowd, "KISS HER YOU PODGE!!!" And Matthias tilts his face down. The newly engaged couple share a passionate kiss.

• Their wedding takes place in a Ravkan forest. King Nikolai himself decides to give his blessings (in disguise ofc). Zoya and Genya are there too.

KANEJ

• It will be super vague. Like Kaz and Inej's relationship is built more on silent gazes and fleeting touches. So they've got this unspoken thing going on. They both know they're each-other's but never actually address it.

• Inej has returned from another of her sea adventures and taking a short break in Ketterdam. She's casually sitting by Kaz's window, feeding the crows while he works on his papers.

• He glances at her, mesmerized by the sight of her glowing skin in the evening sun. Her long hair (free for once) sways due to the wind as she peacefully smiles and looks out at the city.

• He just speaks out of nowhere, "Inej?"

She turns her head and looks at him, the smile never leaving her face. "Yes Kaz?"

"Do you want to tie the knot?" he asks.

The smile immediately leaves her face and she frowns, unsure about his words. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

• He puts his pen down, passes a hand through his hair and huffs out a breath.

"I'm saying my dear Wraith," he starts, methodically taking off his gloves and then joins her at the window. He offers his palm and she gladly places her own in it, her eyes somewhat expectant. Kaz quirks his lips slightly and continues, "would you like us to exchange vows and make it official?" He squeezes her palm and gestures between them.

• She's stunned for a moment because between the two of them, its always her initiating any sort of new action— a hug, a kiss,..making love. And it has taken them a good amount of years to reach this level of intimacy without triggering the other’s traumas so its even more shocking that Kaz asks her first. A small part of her had even wanted to propose him some time in the future but now he's clearly beaten her to that.

• "Inej?" Kaz rubs the back of her hand, "if you don't want to—"

"NO! I do!" she says hurriedly before he can take it back and he breaks into that crooked grin of his, fishing out a simple silver band with a single black feather atop it, its end pointy like a knife.

He smoothly slides it onto her finger and they exchange a gleeful smile.

• After a few minutes he goes, "So like..do you want to do this my way or yours?"

And she's confused so he explains. "If its your way, we can have a traditional Suli wedding, whatever your people do and take your parents' blessings."

He adds a dramatic pause later, "If its my way, I'll just ask Specht to put our names on a marriage document and be done with it."

She rolls her eyes.

• In the end, Inej tells the other Crows. Jesper wiggles his brows, teases Kaz but also gives him a big hug. Wylan is surprised but also happy. Matthias is slightly displeased at the holy bronze girl for letting herself be charmed by this notorious demjin. But he does believe that the two belong with no one else and congratulates them.

• Nina takes it upon herself to plan the wedding and decides it should be a Suli one. She wants to see Inej draped in red. But also wants to see Kaz out of his fitting suits for once and in traditional Suli clothes for men.

• Mr. and Mrs. Ghafa find their son-in-law quite odd but give their blessings happily because there's no one else who'll be more suitable for their lovely daughter.

Send your SoC Headcanon requests via asks

SoC Masterlist

#kanej #wesper #helnik #six of crows #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar #soc headcanon

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supercorpkid · 4 years ago

Note

Lena and Kara catch Superkid and Maya kissing then try to have the the talk with them but Superkid gets awkward and drags Maya out of the house taking her to go get ice cream

Wow, what a scene! Hope this is what you had in mind. @shackalack-alpaca I hope this is also what you had in mind. Embarrassment level 10 :)

THE TALK.

Word count: 970.

You have super hearing. YOU HAVE SUPER HEARING! It’s what you are screaming to yourself, loudly, in your mind. These things were never supposed to happen, and yet. Yet here we are.

“Wow! That’s a big kiss!” Kara speaks first, making you and Maya startle, moving as far away from each other as you possibly can.

“Moms!” You yell in shock, turning red from embarrassment. You look at Maya, also looking flushed next to you, and you can hear her heart beating so fast, you’re scared she might have a heart attack.

Kara and Lena are both on the other side of the living room, and they have different expressions on their faces. Kara is practically laughing at you, like she is having the time of her life knowing she’ll be able to annoy you with this situation some time later. Lena, on the other hand, looks like she would give anything to unsee what she just saw.

You weren’t even doing anything that serious. You and Maya are very careful when your moms are around, because who likes kissing in front of their parents, right? But they weren’t home, so you were kissing kissing, and a lot focused on what was happening, so you didn’t hear them arriving.

“I should go.” Maya picks up her backpack on the floor, throwing it over her shoulder, and you agree with your head immediately.

“I’ll walk you to the door.”

“No. Wait a minute-” Kara says, making you both stop walking. None of you turn to them, just keep your heads down, and stay in the same position as you are. But you dare to glance at them, and you see they’re having their telepathic conversation, and you shiver. Not good. Really bad. Dear Rao, should you play dead?

“Please, sit down, girls.” Lena finally says and your stomach drops. If you fly towards the center of the Earth, how much more terrible would it be to drown in lava than to have this conversation right here?

“Moms, can we-” You try, but Lena shakes her head in denial, before you’re finished. So you sit back on the couch, and Maya follows you. Kara and Lena sit in front of you two, and you breathe deep trying to look calmer than you actually feel.

“We are aware you’ve both been seeing each other for a while now, and there’s nothing wrong with showing affection.” Lena starts, and oh Rao, oh God, oh Thor, why are you being punished so hard? “But obviously you two are way too young to be sharing, you know, that type of intimacy.”

“We were not-” You try to defend yourself, but Lena interrupts again.

“Oh, I know. If you were, this conversation would be very different, believe me.” Lena says, and you look at Maya from the corner of your eyes. She is looking to the floor, completely incapable of looking at your moms. “We just want to make sure you both know there’s a time for everything.”

“Your time will come.” Kara adds, and you look down, blushing furiously. Why Rao? Why? “And believe me, it’s going to be fun, and great, and magical and-”

“And hopefully not on my couch.” Lena adds, taking the embarrassment to the next level.

“Yes! Definitely not here!” Kara agrees, then smile at you. “We know kids your age want to have se-”

“Nope.” You stand up grabbing Maya’s hand. She is taken by surprise, but she stands up too. “I think we’ve heard enough.”

“We didn’t even talk about the birds and the bees.” Kara reaches out trying to stop you, but you’re gently pushing Maya out of the living room, so she doesn’t catch you.

“There’s no need. We’re not doing birds nor bees, or anything remotely like it, so, we’re gonna leave now.”

You don’t wait for permission or for any disagreement from their parts. This is too mortifying and out of line. If you were getting ‘the conversation’ alone, that would be terrible, but still understandable. But you and Maya going through all of that together? Rao, no. Completely out of line.

You close the front door, cursing yourself for not being able to kiss and pay attention to your surroundings at the same time, and as soon as you’re a few feet farther away, you look at Maya.

“I’m so sorry. That was, I don’t even have words for how disastrous that was.” You beg, holding her hand. She seems to be coming down from her own wave of embarrassment herself, when she looks at you.

“Were they going to talk to us about sex?” She asks, as shocked as you feel.

“Kara was probably going to, and then Lena was probably going to stop her eventually, but-yeah-I mean-yeah. They were going to.”

And to that Maya lets out the loudest laugh you’ve ever heard coming out of her mouth. You stay there, not knowing what to think and how to react. Is she laughing about the absurdity of the situation, or does she actually think it is funny?

“I mean, Jamie warned me they were very-” She thinks about it for a second. “affectionate with each other. I didn’t think that would include us.”

“God, it doesn’t.” You let out a chuckle. “Can we please go eat ice-cream and forget this ever happened?”

“Yes to the ice-cream, big no to forgetting about this.” Maya kisses your cheek, and resumes walking, still holding hands with you. “I’m so telling Jamie this happened.”

“She’s never gonna let us live this down.”

“I don’t wanna live this down.” Maya looks at you, and makes you stop walking when she steals a little kiss from your lips. “I wouldn’t want to forget about any moment I’ve spent with you.”

You smile, feeling your heart almost burst in excitement. Ok, maybe the whole thing wasn’t even that bad.

#supergirl #kara danvers #supercorp #supercorpfamily #lena luthor #supercorp daughter #kara x lena #kara x reader #supercorp fanfic #lena x reader #drabble

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tuiccim · 4 years ago

Text

Terrigenisis (Part 8)

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Bucky Barnes X Inhuman!Reader

Words: 2247

Summary: After undergoing terrigenisis unwillingly your life is turned upside down when you are deemed too dangerous to return to life as a civilian. You are put with the Avengers team to train and rebuild. As you hone your powers and skills, you must also decide if you can find home and love again. Or is your curse to be a lonely wanderer forever?

Warnings: Fluff and SMUT (18+, NSFW)

Terrigenisis Series Masterlist Divider by @firefly-graphics

Two weeks later, the three of you wake in Bucky’s bed, where you end up most often. Steve looks at the clock and groans, “I gotta head back to my room.”

"No, stay." You murmur, pulling him closer.

"I gotta change for our run, Doll." Steve chuckles.

"No run today. Just bed." You whine.

"You say that everyday." Bucky laughs sleepily.

"I mean it everyday." You grumble.

Steve kisses you, "I'll see you in a little bit."

"We need to build a secret passageway between our rooms." You say.

"Actually, I was thinking…" Steve pauses.

"What were you thinking, punk? Don't leave us in suspense." Bucky says.

"I was thinking once all this is out we could combine our three rooms. Turn it into an apartment with a living room and a small kitchen."

"And a bigger bathroom." You add.

"Exactly. What do you think?"

"Sold." You grin.

"Same." Bucky says.

“I love you.” Steve says.

“Love you.” You and Bucky say in unison.

You start to get up as Steve leaves but Bucky hauls you back against him. "Where ya going, Doll?"

"I should go change for our run, too." You chuckle and snuggle against him.

"I know. Just wanted a few extra minutes." Bucky nuzzles his face into your neck.

"Mmmmm… Bucky. We have a-" you're interrupted by a kiss, "mission briefing-" another kiss, "at nine." You give up talking for a moment and just give in to Bucky's need for attention. However, when Bucky's hand begins to drift south of the border, you stop him. "We have to train. Let's go, love." Rolling away from him quickly, you bounce out of the bed. At the door, you blow him a kiss before heading to your own room to change.

You go on your run with your guys and Dizzy then train, shower, and go to the mission briefing. The mission is a simple turn and burn. The entire team goes and returns in less than 14 hours but somewhere towards the end of the mission you notice a change in Steve’s demeanor. You had recovered a good bit of Chitauri weapons and energy cells from the base you had invaded. You wonder if it brought back memories of the Battle of New York for him.

After a quick shower, you head to Steve’s room. He answers your knock and you slip into his room.

“I was about to head to Bucky’s room. What are you doing?”

“I wanted to check on you. Something triggered you on this mission. I could see it.” You see him warring with himself.

“Chitauri stuff always brings back New York.” He says quietly. He moves to his desk and pulls a small card out of his drawer. It’s a vintage Captain America card stained dark brown around the edges. Dried blood.

“Coulson.” You say without thinking.

“You know about Coulson?” Steve says, surprised.

Realizing your blunder, you recover quickly to say, “My last team told me about him.”

“You never did tell me about your team from before. You’ve never spoken about them.”

“It’s classified, Steve. I can’t. I’m sorry.” Your eyes beg him to understand.

“I have level 8 clearance. Your clearance is only level 6. You can tell me.”

“It’s codeword classified. Please understand, love, I would tell you if I could,” you look at him pleadingly.

“I understand. I didn’t mean to push you.” Steve wraps his arms around you in a hug.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You ask. Steve nods and tells you the story of meeting Phil Coulson and his death before fighting the battle of New York. You hold Steve the entire time he speaks. “I’m so sorry you lost him. It sounds like he was a good man who you respected.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry, doll. I know you’ve lost a lot of people too. I shouldn’t let it affect me so much.”

“Don’t ever apologize for telling me how you feel.” You say as a knock sounds on the door and Bucky enters.

“Hey. Everything okay?” Bucky looks between the two of you.

“Yeah. I was telling her about Coulson.” Steve says quietly and takes the card from your hand. He looks at it, sighs heavily, and places it back in the drawer. Bucky wraps his arms around Steve from behind and Steve’s head drops down as he covers Bucky’s hands with his own.

“It wasn’t your fault, baby.” Bucky says quietly.

You move to them and wrap your arms around them from the side. Part of you still feels like you are an intruder in their relationship at times. A larger part of you right now felt incredibly guilty that you couldn’t tell him that Phil Coulson was alive and well and Director of the Inhuman division of Shield. There is a chance you can, you realize. Once the three of you separate, you agree to meet in Bucky’s room as usual. You hurry to your room and grab your phone. Dialing the special line Hill had provided, you wait for an operator to come on the line.

“SHIELD.”

“Codeword: Tahiti. Protocol: Delta. Team: Avengers.” You say.

A brief pause and then a single word, “Denied.”

“Codeword: Tahiti. Protocol: Delta. Individual: Steve Rogers.”

“Denied.”

“Direct line. Fury.”

“Denied.”

“Direct line. Maria Hill.”

“Approved.”

You hold on the line as it rings through to Hill. “Maria Hill.”

“Hill, I need to talk to Fury.” You say emphatically.

“He’s not going to clear the team to know about Tahiti.” Hill says curtly.

“I can’t keep lying to them, Maria.”

“You aren’t lying. You just aren’t telling them everything.”

“It’s not right.”

“But it’s what has to be. I’m sorry. I know this isn’t easy but the less people that know about the Inhuman Division the better right now.”

“Right. A bunch of Enhanceds shouldn’t know about a bunch of Gifteds even though one of them is among them.” You reply sarcastically.

“I’m sorry. Good luck.” Hill says, hanging up.

You resist the urge to throw your phone at the wall. After taking a few minutes to calm yourself, you change into a nightgown and make your way to Bucky’s room. You find Steve and Bucky already curled up together in the bed. Steve is laying on his side with Bucky curled around his back. You slide into the bed, facing Steve and wrap your arms around the two of them.

“Hey Doll.” Steve whispers.

“Hey Baby. Are you okay?” You ask.

“Yeah. I’m okay. I think I’m in your spot though.” He chuckles lightly.

“I think you’re right where you need to be. Wrapped up in the arms of the two people who love you most. Right, Bucky?” You say.

“Absolutely. We’ve got you.” Bucky whispers and kisses Steve’s shoulder.

“I love you both, too.” Steve says as he puts his hand to your neck and pulls you to him for a kiss. His lips move over yours firmly and his tongue slips into your mouth. You moan as you press more firmly against him. Steve’s hands become more demanding as he lifts your nightshirt up to grab a handful of your bare ass. He presses his forehead to yours and says urgently, “I need you. I need both of you.”

“You have us, Baby. Whatever you need.” Bucky’s hands rove over both of you. He helps Steve slide his pants off and Steve’s hands pull your nightshirt off. Bucky gently strokes Steve while Steve explores your folds. He traces over them lightly pulling breathy moans from you as he thrusts into Bucky’s hand slowly. When he presses a finger inside you gasp at the pleasure that rolls through you. He works you quickly building your passion until you’re thoroughly wet and then pulls your leg over his hip. His hard length slides along your wetness until he finally presses home. You kiss him as he sheaths himself inside you and you feel Bucky’s hand trail over your body until he rests it on the small of your back encouraging each thrust.

“Bucky, need you.” Steve groans as you clench around him.

“I’m right here, baby. What do you want?” Bucky whispers.

“Need you inside me, Buck. Please.” Steve says.

Bucky prepares himself and Steve slows his thrusts into you as Bucky presses into him gently. You reach around Steve, opening him for Bucky. This is the first time they’ve shared this intimacy with you. You were always the one in between them and their focus was more on you than each other, but tonight Steve needed to feel you both. To feel the love you have for each other envelope him. Bucky readied Steve and then slowly pressed into him. Steve’s body tensed and relaxed at the intrusion.

“Fuck, Stevie. You’re so tight around me. Been too long since I felt you. God, I love you.” Bucky groans as he begins to gently thrust into Steve. Steve’s face twisted in passion and he moaned as you clenched around him and Bucky thrust into him.

“Oh, God. It’s so good. Feeling both you.” Steve grabbed you around the waist and pulled you down on his cock hard causing you to cry out in surprise. “Shit, did I hurt you, Doll?”

“No! Don’t stop, baby. Give it to me. However you need it. However you want. Give it to me. Now.” You say staring into his eyes. The intensity in his face turns you on even more and you stare into each other as he repeats the action over and over again. The three of you move in rhythm, moaning your pleasure, and giving into each other’s needs. Your orgasm builds with each thrust into you, each grunt as Bucky works into Steve, and each moan Steve releases as he feels his two loves surrounding him.

“I’m close.” Steve grits out as he slams into you again.

“Me, too,” you and Bucky say nearly in unison.

“Fuck. I want this forever. It’s…” Steve falters as the pleasure washes over him.

“Perfect.” Bucky groans as he loses himself to the sensations. You hold tightly to your two men as your orgasm overtakes you. Each of you release long moans as you cum together and even after your bodies rock together as you come down from the high.

The next morning as Bucky showers, Steve is sitting against the headboard as you wake up.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

“Mmm, good morning.” You say as you stretch. You look up at him with a smile but his expression is troubled. “Hey. What’s the matter?” You ask as you sit up.

“Are you… happy?” He asks.

“Steve.” You pull yourself up on your knees next to him, “Yes, I am. Very happy. Why would you ask me that?”

“I just… were you okay with what happened last night?” He asks looking down at his hands.

“Baby.” You cup Steve’s cheek as you move to straddle him, “I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t I be okay with last night? We made love. It was wonderful.” Steve looks into your eyes searchingly and suddenly it dawns on you what he’s alluding to. “Stevie, did you think I’d be upset that Bucky was inside you?”

“It’s not that I want you less or, or, or anything like that. I just needed-”

“Shhhh,” you put your fingers over Steve’s lips. “Don’t ever feel like you need to justify your love for Bucky, emotional or physically. To anyone. You and Bucky were together before I came into the picture and you told me your relationship was physical. Why would you think I’d ever have a problem with you two making love in any way you wanted to?”

“There’s still just a stigma to it, I guess. We haven’t done that before with you and I don’t know. I guess a part of me still felt like because you were here we shouldn’t anymore.”

Your heart hurts at that confession. Despite everything, he was still holding back from you. Scared that you would judge him for loving Bucky so completely. A tear falls from your eye and you swipe at it quickly but he sees.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Steve’s voice cracks a little.

“I want you to love Bucky as completely as you love me and vice versa. In every way you see fit. Please don’t hold back part of your relationship just because of me. I want to be with you both. In every way. In any combination of ways.” You give a little laugh through your tears. “Love us. Love us all the way. With everything you want to give us. I promise you, I will never judge your love for Bucky. Love me enough not to hold part of yourself back.”

Steve’s chest heaves as he puts his forehead to yours, “I love you. God, I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, Stevie.”

“Can I join in on this love fest?” Bucky’s voice breaks in.

“Just the man we were talking about.” You sass.

Bucky sits next to Steve and puts his arm around him. “In our time, Doll, our love, our relationship would never be accepted.”

“I know. And even now the three of us being in a relationship will be hard for people to accept, but I would walk through fire for you two. A few nasty comments definitely won’t change my mind.”

“Mine either.” Bucky says.

“I’m with you.” Steve says.

“Til the end of the line.” You smile at them.

Part 9

Masterlist

Permanent: @bubbabarnes @badassbaker @thefridgeismybestie @strangersstranger @cherthegoddess @buckyluvrs-deactivated20201210 @sherlocksmanwatson @cap-n-stuff @finleyjayne @caplanreads @connie326 @daydreamerinadazedworld @bugsbucky @chrisevanscardigan @harrysthiccthighss @palaiasaurus64 @rebekahdawkins @maaaaarveeeeel @tllynn15 @learisa @jelly-fishy-babie @fistmebuckyskywalker @nerdy-bookworm-1998 @liebs82 @stuckyslutt @a-really-bi-girl @saiyanprincessswanie @baddie-barnes @aikeia @paleo-runaway @marvelgirl7 @starlightcrystalline @xxloki81xx @kcd15 @slytherinambitious @sallycanwait68 @slytherdorxmd @fangirlforever2412 @rainbowkisses31 @whisperlullaby @thejemersoninferno @thehumanistsdiary @supraveng @dispatchvampire @juenenfeu @sxbby-barnes @allonszassbutt @y-napotat @ixoxi-deactivated20210106 @is-it-madness @harold231 @buckysbaby32 @purselover2 @ene-rene @chrisevansbaby @mrsbarnes-rogers @sarahp879 @rosesanchez12298806 @xxpapasfritasxx @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @softie-socks @bestofbucky @bella-bear03 @randomfandompenguin @jjsoccer11 @hiddles-rose @am3I1a-24 @courtneychicken @prbykt @awaywithtime @automatic-tragedy @bertinasum

Terrigenisis: @dark-night-sky-99 @amiets2 @bihoeofmanyfandoms @tite-rose @teenwolfgirl99

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freddiekluger · 4 years ago

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please drop the essay length analysis Judas and Jesus (extra gay Swedish edition), O great and knowledgeable monarch of our times

alright, you ask i deliver! please excuse any typos, my eyes aren't exactly working rn

welcome to my probably super subjective but correct analysis, aka

Judas Was Right and Jesus Was A Victim (At Least, In Swedish)

Before we get started, a couple points: i’ll try to avoid comparisons to other specific productions, i’ve only seen the other recorded 2012 british version which i didn’t like for reasons including but not limited to the amount of white people with dreadlocks. Also, my understanding of swedish is limited to a couple words and phrases, so most of the lyrics i reference will be english subtitles from Ola Salo’s swedish translation and therefore might not be the most accurate !

There’s so much i could cover in this, but for now i’m going to focus on how jesus and judas are portrayed in the 2014 swedish arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar (JCS) starring Ola Salo as Jesus and Peter Johansson as Judas, along with how this production more implicitly views god.

From the opening number, translated into swedish as En Dimmig Himmelsdröm (A Foggy Heaven’s Dream), Peter Johansson’s acting and semantic differences in the lyrics present us with a deeply sympathetic portrayal of Judas. Looking purely at language, the english equivalent Heaven On Their Minds instantly paints Judas as much more of a faithless doubter- lyrics exclusive to the english version like “all your followers have gone blind / too much heaven on their minds” and “they think you’re the new messiah / and they’ll hurt you when they find they’re wrong” strongly enforce Judas’ main motivation for his actions being that he has less belief in Jesus and God’s plan than any of the other disciples with strong statements judging the other disciples for following him and claiming that Jesus ISN’T the messiah. The swedish translation doesn’t paint exactly the same picture- the focus of Judas’ number becomes his fear for Jesus’ wellbeing, not because he isn’t the messiah (the production remains fairly ambiguous on this point), but because Jesus can’t cope. The root of Judas’ concern comes from fear for Jesus’ wellbeing, and the disciples are referenced as regularly misunderstanding and wilfully twisting Jesus’ words. The swedish equivalent lyrics for the above examples are “they say, “jesus is god’s son” / but you know how people can change” (judas isn’t concerned with truth, just the danger that jesus will be in if the tide turns), and “the kingdom of heaven is within us, that’s what you said / bu they sew it, stitch by stich into some kind of foggy heaven’s dream”. Judas is showing that he HAS been listening and cares for Jesus’ teachings, but ‘they’ [his disciples] are turning them into something else entirely, and Judas’ worries that the support of the masses is fragile at best- the lines “and everything you say gets twisted by your lackeys / it will be anything but what you’ve said” and “you are being used by people who want you in their battle” reinforces this again. When combined with Peter Johansson’s tough but tender performance, in which he dances between disdain for Jesus, the institution, and affection for Jesus, the man (an important distinction), Judas is the harsh realist doing his best to look out for the man he loves. The way he takes Jesus hands and looks at him with love and urgency straight away establishes that his motivations are pure- Judas is doing what he thinks is best, even though it feels like no one will listen to him.

That was long, but En Dimmig Himmelsdröm is the perfect character introduction for Judas. He’s not totally unrecognisable, still delivering digs about ‘Jesus, the little carpenter’s son’, his manner is still rough and at this point we’re not sure whether or not the claims he makes about the disciples have any truth to them, BUT we can also see how much Jesus means to him, an important point that give context to the intensity of their future arguments and really makes the whole story much more heartbreaking.

This brings me to Ola Salo’s Jesus. Delightfully camp and queercoded, Judas describes him as being caught up in his own magic and mystery and buckling under the pressure, and he’s not entirely wrong. Throughout the first act, Jesus basks in the luxuries that being messiah can give him (the oils Mary paid for using disciple funds that were supposed to go towards helping the poor, him absolutely thriving in the shopping cart in What’s the Buzz?), and is shown actively avoiding any reminders of the seriousness of his position. He’s sick of the disciples asking him for a plan, he chooses the comforting Mary, who’s theme consists of telling Jesus everything is okay and he doesn’t need to think about anything, over Judas, who is less perhaps ‘cosy’ but is actively trying to warn and protect Jesus from an awful fate. During The Temple, he starts to crack as he’s overcome by the followers begging him to make him well, fear in his eyes as he raises his arms while frozen on the spot trying to avoid being devoured by the frenzy in desperate need of a messiah. Judas’ point about Jesus buckling under the pressure is starting to look more and more reasonable, and the dashes of showbiz campness add to the sense that much of Jesus is a persona constructed for the masses to give himself enough distance to prevent him from being crushed by the weight of God entirely. Jesus, the institution, prances around, lays his hands on his followers, and projects an air of easygoing calm. Jesus, the man, is scared and alone, and Jesus, the man, really comes out in Last Supper, but before we get there, I want to circle back to the Jesus/Mary/Judas thing.

Jesus, Mary, and Judas are presented as a love triangle: so much so, that Judas seeing Mary sing of her love for Jesus (I Don’t Know How To Love Him) is actually played as the inciting incident that sends him to the pharisees. Judas, the picture of the jealous lover, storms onto the scene, breaking them up and attempting to kiss Jesus, who instead shoves him to the ground in disdain. Judas, who is perhaps a little controlling, realises that any influence he had over Jesus has gone, and it’s likely a combination of jealousy and the knowledge that Jesus won’t stop that prompts him to head to the pharisees. In his meeting with the pharisees (known in english as Damned For All Time, although that phrase doesn’t appear once in the swedish), Judas’ expresses outright that “I’m the one who sees / Jesus, he can’t handle it anymore” “the truth is that this hysteria is making him lose control”, once he can get past explaining how much this plan of action feels like a last resort. He never even verbally or physically accept the pharisees’ offer of money, he denies it twice before it is eventually thrown over him after he reluctantly gives them the date and time to find Jesus- we never even see him pick it up, unlike other productions which show Judas grabbing for the cash and place a higher emphasis on Judas making sure he ‘won’t be damned for all time’, painting Judas as far more self serving. When it comes to Jesus, Judas is active- he’s running around trying to help, caressing him, embracing him, grabbing his hand, kissing him. They share countless moment of intimacy, especially at the start, establishing the fondness between them instead of instantly jumping to their conflict. When it comes to Mary (and admittedly, this is partially because she’s a secondary character- don’t get me wrong I still love her and Gunilla Backman does a brilliant job), she’s much more passive. Other than the much more gentle kisses in I Don’t Know How To Love Him and her penchant for dabbing Jesus’ forehead, she’s mostly just ‘there’. She cares for Jesus after the fact, and even when performing acts of intimacy like the oil and the kiss, she maintains a lot of physical distance- her songs touch on this as, much like Jesus (admittedly for different reasons), she actively distances herself from feelings to protect herself, so naturally she literally places distance between herself and the object of her love.

This brings me back to Last Supper, Gethsemane ( I Only Want to Say), and the kiss of death that broke all of our hearts. Throughout this segment, this is when Jesus, the man, really comes through, and it’s devastating. In Last Supper, he properly expresses the sheer amount of loneliness he feels, reiterating how he feels everyone will forget about him once he’s gone, and doesn’t really care about him as a man (”for you, my blood is not worth more than wine / for you, my body is not worth more than bread” “you will have forgotten me as soon as i give up my life”). This devolves into the disciples fighting each other and, you guessed it, ignoring him. For the first time, Jesus meaningfully lets out his anger, and as it turns to Judas, Judas does the same. Because of the set up of their complicated romantic relationship and the stakes involved, the amount of personal attacks and anger that comes out of Jesus and Judas’ repeated fights (which get physical) make complete sense- Jesus’ frustrations come from the fact that his entire fate has been predetermined and to him, Judas is just another instrument in the ways he’s been controlled (both with Judas being his betrayer, but also the way that Judas’ constant advice and interference with Jesus’ life (most obviously, the mary thing) are acted by Ola Salo as becoming increasingly frustrating to Jesus)- these frustrations are directed at their real cause, God, in Gethsemane. Judas’ frustrations come from the fact that no matter how hard he tries to help Jesus and keep him safe, Jesus keeps rejecting his efforts resulting in “all that we’ve built up [being] destroyed”- Judas’ heart hasn’t just been broken by Jesus rejecting him romantically, but on every level. Here, he’s actually shown to be the disciple most passionate about helping people practically and long term, being the only one concerned about Mary taking money which was supposed to help people, manipulated by the pharisees with the promise of doing good for the masses, and criticising Jesus for how they could be doing so much for people, ending his part of Last Supper with “every time i look at you i ask myself why you let all your things go so wrong? / all i ever wanted was to help you”.

This is also the point where Judas’ claims about the disciples are essentially confirmed, and this productions intent to portray Judas as more of a tragic hero become absolutely clear. In the english version, the disciples chorus remains virtually the same each time it appears, generally being far too calm considering their leader is about to die, revealing their aspirations to be apostles, and their intent to write the gospels to be remembered. the swedish translation still achieve this, but with variations from chorus to chorus it becomes much more poignant. i’m just going to stick to ttwo, which are choruses 1 and 3. In chorus 1, lines roughly translate to “i’ve always wanted to be an apostle / life is so nice when you’re saved/ then when we’ve got time we’ll write the gospels / then everything will be the way we want”- the apostles declaring that life is so good when you’re saved supports Judas’ opening statement that they care more about some idea of heaven than anything else, not to mention ignoring the absolute horrors that Jesus will have to go through to be saved, while the final line about the gospels introduces their intent to change whichever details they need to make ‘everything the way we want’: once again, exactly what Judas warned us of in En Dimmig Himmelsdröm. In chorus 3, taking place after Judas storms out for the last time, these lines change to “never really liked that judas / never saw what jesus saw in him / then, when we’ve got time we’ll write the gospels / and we’ll angle it so he gets all the blame”. Judas as a sympathetic character is confirmed here, as the disciples straight up admit how they don’t like Judas anyways and intend to write him as a villain (also inadvertently admitting that, since they have to write the gospels to make it look like only Judas’ fault, Judas isn’t really the sole one responsible for everything that is to come). It’s deeply unsettling, and for me was the point where I really began to question how good any of these disciples were, and by extension, how good is this production’s God if his truly sanctified followers are acting like this?

Jesus vents out all of his anger and desperation in Gethsemane. He acknowledges his own powerlessness and begs him to change the plan, but with the dark stage and no response (along with Ola Salo’s spectacular acting) it becomes clear that if anyone is there, they’re certainly not listening (”you, who have all the power / can you please change the plan / for i can already feel the pain burning in me”). It’s worth mentioning that a lot of the imagery in this swedish version is much more intense than the english, both in this song and the production as a whole. Jesus plainly calls god “thoughtless”, begging to understand, and it’s that this point we realise that he agrees with much more of what Judas has been saying than he’s been letting on- Jesus’ faith appears to be the only thing keeping him from listening to Judas and running away. Judas’ messages about people misunderstanding Jesus’ words also come out (”you care that everyone sees / but not that anyone understands”), and his eventual agreeing to die is played less as an inspiring act of faith, and more an act of desperation as he realises, he realise has no other choice. In this song, we see just how much of Judas Jesus has valued and taken on board, and that his air of carefree aloofness which frustrated Judas was, as we’ve already touched on, a complete act. The line “might as well finish what i’ve... what YOU’VE started” is absolutely miserable, reinforcing one of the major themes of this production: the idea that Jesus and Judas were both just ordinary men tormented by futures defined by forces out of their control. Just as Jesus has absorbed Judas’ logic, as an audience so we have, and it’s difficult to view the rest of the play’s events as anything other than an immense and unnecessary act of cruelty.

we’re almost done i promise!

Even knowing what Judas has/will do, Jesus still greets him with love. Judas, still under the impression that Jesus will be okay and that he’s doing what’s best, approaches him with the utmost tenderness, and the kiss is a beautiful signifier of two things. For Jesus, the return of his love for Judas shows his realisation in Gethsemane that Judas isn’t the one who’s sealed his fate and has only being trying to help, it’s god himself who has decided Jesus’ future. For Judas, the kiss shows that despite all of the anger and frustration that has been pouring out of him, he truly does love Jesus, and the way he cradles the scared and alone Jesus to his chest afterwards shows just how much he wishes he could be the one to help him and keep him close. Even with all their arguments and dysfunction, here Jesus and Judas find comfort in each other, and it almost seems like everything will end up alright. It’s in this moment that Judas and Jesus are most identifiable not as enemies, or as villain and hero, but as archetypal lovers from a Shakespearean tragedy. Neither of them set out to hurt each other, but through miscommunications, their own flaws, and external forces (both natural and supernatural), their love is simply never to be. Furthermore, in the following torture and spectacle, everything that Judas predicted for Jesus is about to come true. Another detail I find interesting is the way that Jesus and Judas both sport black nail polish, leather pants, and similar length hair: along with just looking cool as hell, the similarities really reinforce how close they are and how much they influence each other- it feels like a contemporary version of carrying a cameo or a lock of your lover's hair with you, a way for 'star crossed lovers' to keep a piece of their beloved no matter what.

The disaffected persona of Jesus, the institution, comes back as he’s taken by the authorities and subsequently insulted, degraded, and whipped. Also the swedish version of The Arrest, when the chorus starts singing questions, contains this dick joke and I think we all deserve it: “why were you dating a whore? / talk about a huge magic wand!”

Skipping forward to Judas’ Death, this is where both his character and the production’s conception of god beautifully (and miserably) align. When Judas runs to the pharisees, minor semantic changes (along with the genuine concern and great acting from Peter Johansson) reinforce that this Judas genuinely didn’t know that Jesus would be beaten and sentenced to death the way he has been, and Judas’ concern regarding how things look is played less as ‘oh no people will hate ME!’, but how having sentenced the man you love to death is one nightmarish thing, but for everyone to think you did it knowingly and willingly and then congratulate you for it is unthinkable. Where the english shows Judas’ attempting to evade responsibility for Jesus death, the swedish is more focused on Judas’ guilt, horror, and regret. The english “I’d save him all the suffering if I could / don’t believe our good / save him if I could” is swapped in swedish for “If anyone should die here I should / don’t say I’m good / better if I died”. While the english statements are somewhat empty (sure, Judas says he’d save Jesus’ suffering if he could, but he can’t so we’ll never truly know) and are still focused on Judas’ attempt to construct himself as a good guy, the swedish translation has Judas admit his guilt (even if it’s not really his fault), and make the promise of “better if i died” which, given the name of this sequence, he later delivers on. When english Judas sings “Christ, I’d sell out the nation / For I have been saddled with the murder of you”, swedish Judas sings “Jesus, I’ve been deceived / because of my act your blood’s now being spilt”, and instead of ending this first section with “I should be dragged through the slime and the mud”, swedish jesus returns to the theme of character assasination with “i will be cursed as the one behind your murder”.

The swedish translation of the next rework of I Don’t Know How to Love Him also places much more emphasis on Judas’ genuine romantic love for Jesus- we’d be here for hours if i listed everything but here are a few key contrasts. The english has Judas sing “I don’t know how to love him / I don’t know why he moves me”, whereas the swedish has Judas crying while singing “how do I show my love / all I want is to be close to you”. Along with acknowledging Judas already loves Jesus, the entirety of this segment is shifted from Judas singing about Jesus in the third person ‘he’, to a direct address. Judas isn’t performing his sadness, or venting his emotions, he’s emitting one last desperate cry to the man he loves as he sobs on a stage completely shrouded in darkness, and it’s devastating. Peter Johansson lets his voice run raw as he’s belting, and interrupts lines with sobs, and this Judas answers the question of “do you love me too? do you care for me?” with a quiet “no”- Judas is about to go to his death convinced Jesus must hate him, just as Jesus will face his knowing his love inadvertently put him there.

We finally reach Judas’ actual death, and the production’s far more ambiguous (if not negatively geared) depiction of god comes to a head. Judas’ screaming at god the moment he realises that his god essentially forced Judas to be the one to kill Jesus (an act of ultimate cruelty given their love) comes across as horrifying in it’s validity, unlike in other english language productions where it follows the more common characterisation of Judas being an unbeliever who can’t take responsibility for his own actions. When he spits on the ground, screaming “you have murdered me!”, we can’t help but agree- Judas was trying everything he could to stop Jesus from dying, and yet here he is. Most notably, Judas doesn’t set up his own suicide- a noose literally descends from the heavens, already tied, and Judas is literally trapped between the edge of the stage, and the symbol of death behind him. Much like he didn’t choose to kill Jesus, Judas has no choice in his own suicide- it’s suggested to merely be another part of the plan god has for him, and Judas raising his arms to form a crucifixion pose before he finally turns and jumps, disappearing into the depths of the theatre as the rope trails down (somewhat evocative of a leap to hell), highlight the sick joke. Much like Jesus begging in Gethsemane, a plea with god that in anyway implies fault or cruelty is met with silence followed by a death sentence.

When Judas reappears to the broken and bloodied Jesus in Superstar, he appears as more of a twisted hallucination than the literal spirit of Judas. He’s the opposite of everything he was in life, draped in colour, surrounded by red lighting instead of the signature blue, his hair quite literally let down, joking and dancing. Despite singing about him, Judas virtually ignores Jesus for the whole song except when he’s taunting him, snatching his hand away after a broken and desperate Jesus reaches out for the image of his beloved (refuting Judas’ belief that Jesus would die hating him), along with the swedish additions of Judas repeatedly addressing him as “little Jesus”. Where the living Judas was serious, sometimes harsh but always well intention, often paying more attention to Jesus than he received, this Judas is the opposite: light hearted but cruel, not caring about Jesus one bit. It’s somewhat an inversion of the beginning of JCS, where the tormented Judas was constantly reaching out to Jesus, and often met with scorn and insult (see: most of their arguments, this line from Everything’s Alright: “the thought is beautiful but quite unrealistic / yes, even quite stupid”). As the song goes on, and even as Jesus is crucified, the victorious scoring of the Superstar theme ends up reinforcing the cruelty and questioning of god distinctive of this production: Ola Salo’s Jesus is one of the bloodiest Jesus’s (Jesii?) I’ve been able to find, with blood covering his torso, his arms, and all over his face, not in passive dribbles, but violent ‘swooshes’ spreading out from his eyes, emphasising the fear and pain contained within them. As the music suggests how great and wonderful Jesus’ death is, the images straight out of a horror movie before us don’t seem to match up: as both Judas and Jesus question, if no one is understanding what Jesus is saying, why kill him? instead of making a point, you’re ensuring that the falsehoods continue to circulate, unless spreading the true message isn’t really the intent at all. or, simply that Jesus was wrong: his interpretation and teachings of god were far too kind and practical, and the true god really is the one that he briefly saw in the garden of Gethsemane, and that Judas saw before his death- a cruel and vindictive god using them for his own sick purposes. If you're a strong Christian, I'm sure you could watch this production and still believe that God was right (although I think Jesus and Judas being in love counts as blasphemy), but I think in doing so you'd lose part of what makes this production so hard hitting and, as i keep saying, devastating.

that’s pretty much it for this one! i feel like jesus and judas as a queer couple is less significant to this production than the fact that it’s specifically jesus and judas that are in love - they don’t face explicit homophobia as such, although i do think the paratextual and historical associations of queerness (both with them each looking visibly queer, and them as a couple) adds a beautiful dimension by subverting the standard christian teaching of Jesus’ sacrifice as “a love that changed the world” and making the love that truly could have been transformative (and was, to a degree) the love between Jesus and another man, not to mention the way in which queerness is often viewed as radical perfectly upholding the ‘radical’ views of god and the story of Jesus shown in the production. Why wouldn’t the love between two men be the love which has us questioning god, faith, and that which many of us have been taught since birth? Ola Salo has talked about how he’s able to be positive and negative towards christianity, along with how he wanted Jesus and Judas to really represent two sides of the same coin (’faith and intelligence’), and being bisexual along with having alluded to being raised christian (not to mention Breaking Up With God, a song by his band The Ark), it’s not surprising he’s managed to present such a nuanced and layered interpretation of Jesus Christ Superstar that even me, a trans exvangelical, can fall in love with.

UPDATE: @bands-and-hobbits has just let me know that Ola's dad was a priest! Apparently he's said that he liked the organs and the music, but that was all when it comes to christianity, which (when combined with Ola stating in interviews that the JCS soundtrack has been one of his favourite albums since he was 14) makes a lot of sense about the level of familiarity he had with the text giving him confidence to go in and make changes to really capitalised off of some of the themes that are hinted at in the english version- you have enough information to understand how everything works together, but aren't so dedicated to preserving belief that you feel you can't improve/change things (and my god are we glad he did)

#thank you if you made it this far!#also the inherent rhythm in swedish as a language just makes all of the songs sound better i'm gonna say it #english is really hit and miss when it comes to music and can get especially clunky with musicals requiring exposition #also sorry there's so much i've left out !#anyways enjoy #jesus christ superstar #jesus christ superstar swedish arena tour 2014 #jcs #peter johansson #ola salo #also i have barely edited this so i hope it's coherent

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