#just a little! but i don't want to hurt any feelings hence the tag

[thecactifindahome]

Yeah, I'm in the middle of the books and I've already decided to read them again because some details can go unnoticed. And there are so many characters, stories, different historical periods, countries etc that you kind of need to study them like a bible. No wonder Sam Reid seems to read a little bit of them on a daily basis. TVC bible studies. 🤣😅 But I admit I compartmentalize and ignore some stuff on purpose because they're way too uncomfortable to me (some TTOTBT parts, for example, even if I find it a good book). Just my personal approach to it. Oh, I'm glad you love Armand too. 💗 Do you watch the show? Is he your favorite there too? Book Armand is my baby, but on the show everyone is at the top of their game that my love is equal. But Assad has this really creep thing where he is 100% my Armand. Most times people are 85%, 90% how I envision those characters, but he is totally my Armand. The face, expressions, body language, eyes, voice, walk... I've never seen someone match a character so well that I wouldn't change even the tiniest thing. It's like he was born out of my thoughts. 🤯 Still, in terms of adoration and rooting for, their show counterparts are on the same level for me.

Sorry for the late response! Tumblr is erratic about showing me my inbox on mobile, and I tend to just leave it to the queue on weekends/days off.

Yeah, I think it's fine to engage with the aspects of the series you enjoy and box up the others - god knows I'm more familiar with tva than anything that happens in totbt, lol. My little guy isn't even in it 🥺

Oh, showmand, showmand...he's my favorite both because he's Armand and because his portrayal in the show and reception by the fandom have produced a powerful protective instinct in me. Showmand comes across to me as a completely destroyed person in a way bookmand isn't - can you imagine showmand breaking down Marius' door with an axe? Can you imagine bookmand letting Louis break a wall with him? Or tolerating that level of disrespect from the theater coven? I can't, at all - showmand reads to me like a version of Armand who was broken by spending 10+ years with the show's version of Marius actively pimping him out that whole time. He's lost the pride and energy that kept bookmand hoping for something better out of life, and I hope he gets it back somehow. I love him dearly and it genuinely hurts my feelings to see bad things happen to what's left of him. I hope he gets to yank someone's scalp off next season, I sincerely think it would help him feel better.

I love Zaman's portrayal though! I honestly think he understands the character a lot better than some people involved in the show* do, it's evident in his acting and things he's said. S2E5 in particular demonstrates that he can bring the monstrous insect energy, and the confident menace that's just as important as the vulnerability also shows up whenever the script allows it. But good lord, that script was an anchor around his neck at times.

*Rolin Jones, I am talking about Rolin Jones right now. It's becoming increasingly apparent that his interest wanes the further away any aspect of the story gets from ☆♡☆|oustat☆♡☆ and if the other writers/Sam Reid don't rein him in soon I think he'll poison the show with it.

[loganwritesprobably]

Law with the 3° genre, prompt (y.)

Since there's no specification, I'm pairing Law up with a gender neutral reader

Find the prompt list here

Content/Warnings: Law/GN!Reader, hurt/no comfort, break up, reader decides to leave the crew

If you had to hear one more stupid word from his stupid mouth, you were going to lose your mind. Breaking up with Law while underwater in the Polar Tang, still days away from your next island, may have been a bit of a mistake but you just couldn't do it anymore. You couldn't keep pretending. It had to end. Everything was tense, and uncomfortable, if he entered the room you immediately left, and the other crew members were struggling with the discomfort. Not one of them tried to criticise you though, they sympathised.

Law did not seem to understand how serious you were, though.

He went out of his way to seek you out, searching for you when you had downtime to try to speak to you. You avoided him at all costs, often walking away while he followed you, ignoring every word that he said. If he did it again, you were going to develop a serious violence issue.

You were sitting quietly in the kitchen, reading a book, and enjoying just being alone for a while. There was a lot you needed to organise, and you needed silence to do it. Feelings to sort through, things to plan, and decisions to be made. You'd already moved all your things from Law's room back into the crew's room, and you were sleeping in your old bed again - still alone, but at least now it was by choice.

That was why you'd split up with Law, you couldn't deal with the way he treated you anymore.

He was never around, always prioritising work over you and even yourself. It was one thing for him to put the crew before you, because you understood that - he was a Captain, that was his job - but to even neglect himself to the point where he was snapping at you and other crew members; making poor decisions; missing all his time with the people he claimed were his friends.. you weren't willing to put up with it anymore. You couldn't date a man who had all these responsibilities when he couldn't take care of himself.

Did you even want him as your Captain?

Hence, things to think about.

Law walked into the room, and for the first time in several days, you didn't leave. You were capable of ignoring him while he puttered around to finally feed himself, you were reading a good book. Instead of doing that though, he sat in the chair beside yours, and just stared at you. It was hard to concentrate on you book when he was staring at you so intently but you kept your eyes on the page, refusing to bend to whatever he was trying to do.

"Since you're finally done running, I want to talk about us." He said eventually, and you sighed, slamming your book closed. "There is no us Law, get that into your thick skull." You hissed, standing up from your chair to leave again, retreating to another quiet room to gather your thoughts. "Why aren't you even willing to hear me out? You'd think I'd hit you!" He yelled, and you froze. "Why? Because you act like you have no interest in yourself, never mind me! We barely spent any time together, and when we did half of it was me forcing you to look after yourself and the other half was you being grumpy or mean because you can't do that for yourself! I'm done with it Law! Grow up a little - then come back and talk to me." You'd turned back to face him, eyes wild, chest rising and falling rapidly with your anger. Law stared back at you, mouth hanging slightly open, understanding finally dawning on him.

"I'm not getting back on the Polar Tang after this island. I'll find my own way - I don't want you as my Captain anymore."

Requests are open! See below links for my other works, and how to leave requests. I write both canon/canon and canon/reader requests for your enjoyment

AO3 | Fanfic Masterlist | Request Rules | WIPs | Recommendations

Tags: @claryeverlarkf @uselessboots @cainnoable

[pulisicsgirl]

this is me trying - mason mount

summary: Mason is having trouble putting his frustrations into words, but Y/N is there to help him work it out

pairing: Mason Mount x reader

word count: 2.1k

warnings/tags: hurt/comfort, a good bit of angst and some mentions of self-doubt, but then a little fluff at the end, established relationship

requested: no

notes: surprise!! i felt inspired to write this after the last couple of rough games, so i put this together pretty quickly tonight. i'm still working on part two of the request, but i wanted to get this one out there! also i don't usually do this, but this fic draws some inspiration from 'this is me trying' by taylor swift (hence the title), so feel free to listen to that while you read! this is something i'm thinking about doing more often, so let me know what you think!

It was another disappointing draw for Chelsea FC: a goalless draw at home to Liverpool.

To put it bluntly, the squad that Chelsea put on the field looked… uninspired. They lacked any sort of consistency or passion.

And of course, you were disappointed and frustrated to see Mason remain on the bench for the full 90 minutes.

After the game, you found yourself wandering down toward the field end of the tunnel, searching for him without going too far out into the stadium. You hadn’t seen him emerge as you waited with the rest of the families in the lounge and decided to take matters into your own hands.

As you peeked out from the tunnel, you spotted him over by the players’ bench, fiddling with the laces on his shoes. Most everyone had cleared out of the stadium by now, the seats empty and an ominous silence falling over the area that usually held such a high energy.

Mason stood up fully, noticing you as you took a couple of slow, cautious steps out of the tunnel toward him. Your arms were tucked behind your back innocently, swaying slowly back and forth, and if he wasn’t feeling the way that he was currently, he would’ve melted at the sight.

He approached you, greeting you at barely more than a whisper before he pulled you into a brief hug. The smell of sweat and grass that typically filled your nose when he hugged you after a match was notably missing. After all, he hadn’t been able to do anything to work up a sweat.

When he pulled back from the hug, he kept his arms loosely around your shoulders. “You go on and head home and I’ll meet you there in a bit, yeah?” he muttered quietly. “I’m gonna run a few sprints here before I head out, just stretch my legs a bit.” He forced a small smile, but he didn’t pretend to think that you believed it. He knew that you saw straight through his façade—you knew him far too well for that.

You just nodded at him with a short, “okay,” and released his waist from where your arms had been holding him close. He pressed a short kiss on your forehead before he turned and jogged away toward the goal line.

You began to walk back toward the tunnel, but before you left, you turned, watching Mason for a few moments.

He alternated between sprinting and jogging back and forth, up and down the field. His head hung low, and you could see the despair and sadness written all over it. Mason was always a team player, but in the private moments, he couldn’t help it when the lack of playing time and the way that his managers no longer seemed to trust in his abilities started to chip away at his morale. And you knew that, even if he didn’t express that to you.

Deciding to give him some time alone to reflect, you turned to leave, a heavy weight of sadness for Mason weighing on your heart.

About an hour later, you found yourself tidying up around the house, anxiously awaiting Mason’s arrival. He had texted you not long ago to let you know that he was on his way.

You were determined to talk things through with him tonight. You had done your best to allow him to have the space that he wanted, but you knew that the more he kept these things to himself, the worse he was getting.

The two of you learned very early in your relationship that you were both the kind of person to try to deal with things on your own. If something would happen or you had something on your mind, you would bottle it up and just try to power through it. This caused a lot of issues in the early months of your relationship, and the two of you decided together that you needed to do better.

So now, you both held each other accountable. As you learned and grew together, you gave one another space when it was warranted and confronted the other when it was necessary. This time seemed to have grown into one of the latter.

You heard the brief jingle of Mason’s keys as he pulled them out of the lock in the front door, shutting it behind him. Mason’s bag could be heard plopping onto the floor as he seemingly dropped it at his feet.

You wandered toward the front door, eventually finding him in the living room. He was sitting on the couch, elbows resting on his knees with his head in his hands. His hair was slightly damp—clearly he had taken a shower at the stadium following his sprints.

You approached him slowly and stood in front of him, placing a hand gently on his shoulder. He didn’t jump at the sudden contact, telling you that he had known you were there.

You trailed your fingers from his shoulder, up his neck, and under his chin, titling his head so that he was looking at you.

“Hey, baby,” you whispered. He didn’t respond, dropping his elbows from his legs. You took this as an invitation and sat down with your legs on either side of his. He leaned back into the cushions of the couch.

Neither of you spoke a word for several long moments. You rested a hand on his jaw, stroking his cheekbone slowly with your thumb as he leaned into the soft touch. Your other hand rested on the junction between his neck and shoulder.

You took a moment to admire his features: the soft creases by his eyes that grew more intense when he would smile, the gentle curves of his nose, the stubble along his jaw that tickled your hand, the scattered freckles that adorned his cheeks and nose. You looked over his face, adoring each part of it.

However, Mason seemed unable to look anywhere close to your face, his eyes cast downward and staring at your lap. He rested his hands on your hips, but his fingers don’t find their way under your shirt to rub small circles into your skin the way they usually do. The light that usually fills his eyes is absent, replaced by a dull and far-off look.

He knows what’s coming. He knows you need him to talk to you about what’s going on in his head. But he can’t figure out how to put into words the sorrow that seems to sit on his chest like a weight, causing him to feel a constant pressure against his ribcage as his heart physically aches.

He’s pulled from his wandering thoughts by your lips pressed softly to his nose, a gentle kiss meant to communicate all possible forms of reassurance to him.

At this, he finally raises his eyes up to your face, not finding the pitying look that he had been dreading. Instead, he saw pure love in your eyes and a desire to help him in any way that you could.

“Talk to me, baby.” Your thumb continued to stroke his cheekbone, hoping to soothe some of the turmoil you could see behind his eyes.

He pressed his lips together tightly, still trying to muster up the courage and the right words to voice his thoughts.

“I just…” he hesitated. “I don’t even know what to say.”

Your lips turned down in a frown, thinking for a moment. “Okay… talk to me about what you’re feeling right now. Are you sad? Angry?” You tried to help him put words to the things he was feeling. “Anxious?”

“Anxious, yeah,” he nodded slightly. “And sad, I think.”

You smiled slightly as you began to feel that you were making progress. Your moved your arms further up his shoulders, threading your fingers through the hair on the back of his head as you scratched his scalp gently. “Alright, tell me what’s making you feel anxious.”

Mason’s eyes slipped closed for a moment, and he subconsciously tilted his chin up, leaning back into your touch. You gladly let him have that moment of peace, soothed by your gentle voice and soft touch.

“Just… a lot of changes at the club right now. Still trying to adjust to new players. New gaffer now.” He spoke in short, choppy statements, blinking his eyes open as he was unpleasantly drawn back to reality by his own words. “Things are still up in the air with my contract. The fans are saying all kinds of stuff. I had to drop out of international duty. I’m trying to come back from an injury, and I haven’t played a minute in weeks.” His voice grew a little louder with each word, and you placed both of your hands on his cheeks to try to calm him down without shushing him. He noticed the gesture, realizing that he was starting to work himself up, and paused to take a breath.

“I feel like they don’t trust me anymore.” His eyes were misty when he said this, and you felt your heart crack into pieces.

“Who doesn’t trust you? The coaches? The fans?”

“Kind of both, I guess. But mainly the coaches.” He casted his eyes downward again, too ashamed to look at you in what he felt was a moment of weakness.

You lifted his head up once more, leaning your forehead against his so that he was forced to look you in the eye.

“You listen, and you listen good, Mason,” you started, pulling a slight chuckle from him at your actions. “Don’t you ever go doubting your abilities as a football player. You are the most naturally gifted and creative player I think I have ever seen, and your accomplishments speak to that. The managers who have gotten the privilege to work with you love you, and if anyone can’t see that, they’re insane. Sure, this season has been rough, but you are one of eleven men on that pitch at any given moment, with several more sitting on the bench who all make some sort of contribution to the successes or failures of this team. This responsibility does not lie solely on your shoulders.”

Mason nodded at you, and you could see him trying to swallow back tears. The simultaneous pain and relief of confronting his dark thoughts was overwhelming.

“I know this last month has been hard for you, between injury and big changes at the club, but you’ve handled it so well. You may not believe me when I say it, but you’ve been so strong through all of the unexpected obstacles that have been thrown at you. And I am so proud of you for that.”

At these words, a tear finally spilled from his eye, rolling down his face. You wiped it away with your thumb, pressing a kiss to both of his cheeks.

“Things will work out with your contract, baby. I know you want to find a way to stay, but they always say that sometimes one door has to close so that others can open. Who knows what kind of success and growth you’ll find at a new club, or if you get to stay here, you can find it here, too. Wherever you go, you’re going to be incredible, okay?”

He nods wordlessly, eyes still shining with tears.

“Take a deep breath.” The two of you take one together, breathing out slowly as you gaze into his eyes. “Try to focus on the good things. Your family is all in good health. You got to see your nieces over the weekend.”  A small smile breaks out on his face at that. “You’re spending your career doing the thing that you love most. And you’re not slowing down anytime soo—”

“And I have you,” he cut you off, barely more than a whisper. You were caught off-guard by his words, taking a moment to look over his face and calm your heart that had begun racing.

“And you have me,” you smiled back at him, resuming the way you had been scratching over his scalp a few minutes ago. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

Mason wrapped his arms fully around your torso, pulling you into a tight hug as he buried his face in your neck. You felt the warm tears dropping onto your skin and kissed the side of his head, continuing to scratch his neck and shoulders as you held him in your arms.

“Can we just stay here for a while?” His voice was muffled by your shoulder, but you were still able to understand him,

“Of course, sweetheart. As long as you need.”

tag list: @masonspulisic @chelseagirl98 @thoseboysinblue

[killmongerskeepermain]

Ghostface!Shuriri Headcanons

Surprise! Surprise! I got some headcanons for Ghostface!Shuriri for yall. Also I recreated a tag list so in case yall want to be tagged in anything, go ahead and fill out this form right here. ---> Taglist Form

Normal Lives

●👻● Outside her ghostface persona Riri is the perfect student. Still in college. 

●👻● Top of her class(of course), shows up on time, takes perfect notes, turns in work before the deadline, you name it. 

●👻● She doesn't mind doing work for her classmates. You want her to do your homework for you? It'll cost ya. (Her prices ain't cheap.)

●👻● Straight sneakerhead. Will make sure every outfit is tied together by the shoe.

●👻● Loves to go clubbing. Usually ends up with her finding a girl for her and Shuri for fuck around with if they're bored.

●👻● Despite her usually sticking to herself, no one truly has a problem with her. (If they do, RIP.)

●👻● Will talk her shit. Super sassy. Doesn't matter who you are or where ya live. Her slick mouth usually gets her in trouble. But ain't nobody gone jump with her partner a couple feet behind her.

●👻● Speaking of the partner, Shuri is the one who stays out of the limelight. 

●👻● She got away from Wakanda after T'Challa's passing. She believed he could be saved but that no one was trying hard enough. She dropped her duties as princess and went completely off the grid.

●👻● She spends most of her time in the lab under the house. Making new weapons, traps, home defenses. (She's still one of the smartest people on earth.) 

●👻● Also a sneakerhead. She's the one who likes to match shoes on a date.

●👻● Only goes clubbing so she doesn't have to hear Riri beg over and over again. 

●👻● Riri may be sassy but Shuri is MEAN. She does not give two fucks if she hurts your feelings. If you can't handle what she has to say then don't even look in her direction. 

●👻● If Riri has a problem with someone, so does Shuri. They're a package deal at this point. But if you're cool then you shouldn't have to worry about anything happening to you.

👻👻 "You know you was supposed to cash app me yesterday." Riri held a look of annoyance on her face as the football player fidgeted with his jacket. "Ah shit I forgot, $600 right?" She gave a small grin as she shook her head. "Nah, that was yesterday's price. It doubled since you forgot." His face fell and he bent down to mumble so his friends wouldn't hear. "$1200 is a little much don't you think?"

"Bet you won't forget again. I don't do this shit for free." She spat and he clenched his jaw. "What, are you gonna hit me pretty boy?" He steps closer to her before his eyes locked with another pair of brown orbs. "Is there a problem?" He quickly shook his head and sent Riri the money he owed before heading back to his friends. "I had it." The shorter girl grinned as she placed a kiss on Shuri's cheek. 

"Of course you did."

Behind The Mask

●👻● They don't just go around killing people for the hell of it. Their victims are usually people who did wrong by them or just don't deserve to live out their lives. Doing the world a favor.

●👻● Shuri uses a hunting knife with a sleek edge while Riri uses one with a ridged blade. 

●👻● Shuri is better when it comes to speed. She was training with her brother when he was alive. So if you manage to get away from Riri, you're not getting away from her. Loves the chase. Don't run. It only makes it more fun for her. "I love when they run."

●👻● Riri loves to play with their victims. Turns any chase into a game of cat and mouse. She also excels when it comes to stealth. She's the one who sneaks up on you when you're not looking. Can disappear in the blink of an eye. "Eyes on me ma."

●👻● Riri almost never has a messy kill. One clean cut is all it takes, hence her weapon of choice. Shuri on the other hand usually has some pent up aggression that she lets out during a kill. Not too much blood but just enough.

●👻● Won't let you see them in action. The only time was when you first met. But never again. The two agreed to keep everything ghostface related away from you. No matter how many times you ask. 

●👻● They did allow you to see them behind their ghostface personas only one time. The three of you drove to an abandoned building to show you how they hunt after endless begging. They even gave you a head start to run and hide. They made a bet on who would find you first with the loser making dinner. It didn't take long for Shuri to find you and to this day you and Riri wondered how she did it. 

👻👻 The only sound you heard was your own footsteps on the hard floor as you tried to be sneaky and find a good hiding spot. The building was long abandoned but still stood strong for a quick game of hide and seek. The two women gave you 10 minutes to hide and you had to admit your heart was racing. Quick, you say as you notice the cloak disappearing around the corner. You ducked under a nearby desk as one of them dragged into the room. You had a feeling it was Riri with how quiet they were. Even though they weren't going to hurt you, the thrill of it all sent jolts through your bones. When she left the room you took off down the hall with a wide grin. Time was almost up. Just before you could reach the doorway, a gloved hand grabbed your waist and you squealed. Looking up you saw Shuri take off her mask with a smirk. "How did you…..where did you come from!"

"What's the matter mamas? You look like you've seen a ghost."

When It Comes To You

●👻●Shuri is somewhat touch starved. So anytime you hug her from behind or snuggle up to her it makes her heart flutter. She eats it up.

●👻● Riri on the other hand loves having her hands on you. Whether it's holding your hand, grabbing your waist, or having you in her lap. 

●👻● They never let you go somewhere alone. If Riri can't be with you, Shuri is going and vice versa.

●👻● Riri is really big on PDA. Loves leaving small kisses and hickeys everywhere. Especially when someone hits on you while she's there. Shuri isn't into PDA like that but will not hesitate to pull you into a sloppy kiss if someone is bothering you. If it makes the other guy uncomfortable then it was worth it. 

●👻● Shuri gets jealous easily when it comes to you and Riri. That's where that sloppy kiss comes into play. And when you blush and hide your face in her neck, she's glaring at whoever is trying to shoot their shot. Also super territorial.

●👻● When you're alone they love to shower you in affection. Shuri loves running her fingers through your hair while Riri leaves trails of kisses along your shoulder. CUDDLE PUDDLE!

●👻● They will pamper you every chance they get when you're all together. Hugs? Kisses? Cuddles? Sex? They'll take care of you and all your needs. They will give you everything and anything you ask for.

●👻● Shuri teaches you and Riri Xhosa. You've learned that catching her off guard when switching languages flips a switch in her head. 

●👻● You're untouchable. No one in their right mind is going to lay a finger on you without lethal consequences. You want someone taken care of? Just say the word and they're gone.

●👻● They will not under any circumstances let you tag along for a kill. They would never put you through witnessing something as vile as them killing someone. Never again.

●👻● You definitely play with the voice changer. They have different ones but at this point you know who is who when they try to freak you out. 

👻👻 You tiptoed around the house trying to find your two girlfriend's with the small box in your hand. You found them on the couch watching Friday the 13th and grinned at the sight. Riri was lying under Shuri who had her arm over the girl's shoulder. You brought the box up to your lips and clicked the button. "Cuddling without me? How disrespectful." The two looked back at you before their laughter filled the room. "Girl, put that shit down and get over here." You sat down the voice changer and moved to lay your head down in Shuri's lap and your legs on Riri's. Though of course she couldn't keep her hands to herself and ended up between them. 🤭

[ask-an-innocuous-taco]

Dear reader,

Hey there! Welcome to my Inanimate Insanity-themed blog! You're in the right place if you're a fan of the show (and don't hate Taco.) Just a heads up, though: spoilers might be ahead, especially if you're not caught up with the latest episodes.

Oh, and before I forget, I'll be answering your questions and prompts mainly through text, with some headcanons thrown in for good measure. Just keep in mind that my interpretations might not always perfectly match the characters from the show, but I'll do my best to stay true to their essence.

So, a bit about me—I've been obsessed with Inanimate Insanity for a couple of years now. It's basically taken over my life, in the best possible way. And I figured, why not channel that obsession into something creative? Hence, this ask-blog.

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BLOG'S STORYLINE:

Their conversation leads to MePad introducing Taco to this thing called Tumblr, suggesting that instead of dwelling on lost connections by letters, she could try making new ones here. It's a nice little moment of growth for Taco, don't you think?

We're picking up after Microphone's reality check on Taco and after Taco's whole ordeal with kidnapping MePad. Lonely and needing someone to talk to, Taco switches MePad back on from slumber mode. And instead of just using him as a pawn like she did before with anyone else, she's opening up a bit, showing some genuine sincerity. Maybe some honesty wouldn't hurt.

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Be Respectful: Treat others with kindness and respect. Harassment, bullying, or any form of hate speech will not be tolerated. !!REMEMBER THAT THIS IS A REAL PERSON BEHIND THE SCREEN!!

RULES:

No Spamming: Avoid spamming the ask box with repetitive questions or messages. One well-thought-out question at a time is preferred.

Be Patient: Understand that the creator behind the ask-blog may have a busy schedule. Please be patient for responses, as I may take time to answer questions.

Keep it PG-13: Ensure all questions and discussions are appropriate for a general audience. Avoid explicit content or language. (Unless it's funny haha. I won't hesitate to publicize your inquiry, all in good fun, of course).

Respect Privacy: Avoid asking overly personal questions or prying into the personal lives of the creator portrayed in the blog.

No Plagiarism: Respect original content and intellectual property. Do not steal or repost artwork, writing, or any other creations without proper permission or credit.

Use Trigger Warnings: If discussing sensitive topics or themes, provide trigger warnings to alert readers of potentially distressing content.

⋅˚₊‧ ✎ ‧₊˚ ⋅﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌₊ ⊹

Taco inquiries - Asks that have to do with Taco.

SPECIAL TAGS:

MePad asks - Asks that have to do with MePad.

Mod 👓 - Asks that are answered by the mod.

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If you want to ask anything related to Taco or maybe even MePad, feel free to shoot me a message using the tags provided below. Can't wait to hear from you all!

- Yours truly, 👓.

[lephamquynhnhu]

Millennial Aegis

Chapter 6 (End)

Jing Yuan x Fem! reader

WARNINGS/ TAGS: Arranged marriage, the reader has a default name, OOC, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. (This is a work of fanfiction, events are not aligned or relevant to the original work)

Word count: ~3000

Summary: He is so stubborn to give up on you, and you are too hard-headed to reciprocate his affection. When do you both stop torturing each other?

Note: The first line I wish to express my sincere appreciation to Tanpostblog, crazy-ghostwriter, babymarshall, lady-cryptstone, mikakosama, thatanonymouschocolate, xdrin, Jingyuanbeloved, and briacee for your constant support on this series. I planned on finishing it in five chapters, but it was longer than expected.

You were falling into an unlimited spiral abyss and witnessing how the flame phoenix was born. Suddenly, a horrendous scene unfolds in front of your eyes while running restlessly. The desolate landscape with appalling carnage full of heads, limbs, and gnawing bodies sprawling on the ground burdened on a red spider lilies field. You could practically hear their spirits accuse and curse your name for not saving them when the wind carrying a foul smell breezed. Everything was dyed in a dead vermillion hue as the bloodred moon glared upon soil permeated with millions of innocent lives. 

You agonized over long and hard what to do, just fleeting from the dying world. You kept running until you saw the familiar shape on the apex of a hill built by multiple deceased bodies. Your eyes widen when you recognize Jing Yuan hanging on the wooden cross with a tored throat, limbs dissipated, and crows hovering above. Before you could scream out of horrifying, rotten hands rising from the surface grabbed your legs to sink you to hell. The last thing that remained was the cursed moon bleeding its black mud down. 

The dreadful sight dispels as you jolt awake with cold sweat beads on your brows and forget everything about the nightmare as the utmost sore strikethrough your body. Only a little stir is enough to accumulate the aching. However, the coziness of Jing Yuan's embrace soothes your pain, which must be solace for his roughness last night. The sound of you waking up makes him smile slightly as he feels you cuddle against him. His hand reaches over to stroke your hair gently, causing a sense of warmth and comfort. 

"Jing Yuan! What were you last night? A wild beast devoured his spouse alive?" You point your index finger at his nose, scolding him. The amber eyes waver, then alight with mischief when he looks back at you, trying not to laugh and shaking his head. He is unascertained if he wants to answer that question.

"Don't you dare to laugh! Do you have any idea how much it hurts right now?" You intend a feathery tap at his face, but the general quickly stops your wrist before it lands its target. His eyes narrow as he stares down at you, still holding your arm in place as he speaks calmly. 

"I am truly sorry. I went overboard last night, so I beg your pardon, my lady."

He seems apologetic and genuine about what happened last night when Jing Yuan leads your hand to cup his cheek and kisses your palm. The free hand runs over your bruising chest with his hickeys when you caress his cheekbone affectionately and grant him amnesty. Then he leans forward to kiss you, slipping his tongue out and meeting yours whilst fingers lightly running along your neck. As he pulls away, Jing Yuan winks at you slyly.

You both were supposed to have a blissful marriage if the Stellaron Disaster was not downcast. 

Your heart ached when the general returned from battle in an unconscious state again, and you began thinking of his laden responsibility. Being protected and protecting are two separate things asunder. What did it feel like to present as Luofu's General for millennia? Has he ever been tired of being bestowed with unparalleled intellect and peerless swordsmanship? Maybe you have hidden behind his wings and rested for too long. Hence, it was time for your turn to be his guardian, to fulfill your wish under that silver moon.

However, the mission got more challenging since Jing Yuan forbade and blocked your exploiting investigation of the case. A red denial ablaze brightly on the monitor whenever you try to access the information, and even agents of the Cabinet who were well-informed about the Stellaron refused to answer its topic. To obtain sufficient data for analysis, the intel of battling with Lord Phantylia is an invaluable fragment. As a result, the sole method is infiltrating his archive room to duplicate the data. 

Your palms sweated, and Adrenaline coursed through your bloodline rapidly as you heard footsteps resonating closer to the archive's vicinity. Luckily, the replicating progress indicates successful copying before the general entry. Your heart beat loudly at the eardrum when concealing under the trapdoor and overhearing their off-topic chit-chat. A bizarre feeling settled in your ribcage as soon as Lieutenant Yanqing shifted the conservation into Lady Tingyun's affair; Lord Jing Yuan cleverly avoided discussing it and walked out once he found the needed document. 

Your suspicion was soon confirmed at night when he asked you to bring his demanded file from the study room. This Arbitrary-General only needs an excuse to pull you into his lap with arms secured around your waist, preventing you from running off. The papers fall messily on the cold tile floor for all he cares while Jing Yuan settles you steadily on his thigh.

"You sneaked into my archive room today, didn't you?" 

Your blood froze on the spot when hearing the sternness laces in his voice, and you could tell he was mad by the intense stare in those narrowed eyes. You were sure to successfully hack and insert illusion into all the surveillance cameras without leaving a doubtful trace. Nevertheless, the moment you prefer to object, your husband points out the undeniable evidence that keeps your mouth shut because you would never expect every existence in the archive to live for a purpose. His brush pen laid oblique compared to the original place indicated in your presence since only you two shared the accessed authority. Therefore, Jing Yuan takes your silence as an implied answer. 

"A Zhi, please do me a favor just for this time." - He dives head into your sternum, exhaling his favorite scent. - "Whether it is a felony or misdemeanor in Luofu, I will assign it to you as you wish in exchange for retreating from this Stellaron's study." 

The nuance in his beseech expresses its critical level, so your reason to follow the case magnifies significantly. Being consorts for centuries, the general can sense your definitive response before you materialize it vocally. 

"Don't force me to impose on you more restrictions." - His voice mutates as strictly as iron, and the mild amber orbs morph into icebergs. Jing Yuan interprets your stubbornness, so he must not falter because he swore an oath to his name, even your father, to keep you from harm at all cost. Thus, this is not a rash threat. 

After sharing a long stare competition, you attempt to push your luck by tracing fingertips along his hem's collar and start negotiating. Nevertheless, he does not back off, remaining immovable as a stone figure. 

"I had better understand that 'The same trick won't do twice.' more than anyone else as a Strategic advisor." - You chide yourself while pushing your hands up in a surrendering manner and claiming your withdrawal. The general knows it is a lie, yet he wants to believe in your lie. 

However, the cost of defying reduces your chance to zero. You never think he could be this ruthless when it comes to warfare. The first dispute you two have encountered leads to the bitter end when he constrains you as a punishment. Not only do you hand the USB over to him, but Jing Yuan also forfeits your accessed authority to his archive and temporarily discharges your position in the Internal Affairs Bureau. Although the man chooses to put faith in your dishonesty, that does not mean he sits duck and forecasts the second rebellion. 

"The guest room might serve your service." - You press cold lips against his earlobe to fake a kiss, breathe in slowly to suppress the fury that awaits to explode. - "Begone, out of my sight." 

Both of you know that he does not even mind sleeping in the corridor in the condition to get you off Stellaron's case. To you, this argument and those limitations are nothing more than gravel scattering in your path. Conversely, they may be a potential opportunity to exploit. From now onward, it is an underground battle of wits between the Luofu's general and his strategist. Whoever gets the fastest information will win. 

With your interim situation, continuing to collect and analyze the data in the Cabinet is no longer a feasible option. Hence, the Astral crew will be one of your allies now, but you cannot let your guard down to directly connect to them. Every step and each alternative you take will stake your liability if Jing Yuan recognizes the intrigue. Employing spies to mine their information is a sensible way to conceal your hands, and thanks to the brief time interacting with them, you can depict their personalities. March 7th and the Trailblazer are amiable friends who are inclined to share the intel. As for Mister Yang, you should be wary of this man when assigning your subordinates around him. 

In addition to your partners, Blade and Kafka might not escape Luofu yet because their wanted posters cover every alley. And a competitive merchant could acquire benefits if taking advantage of quid pro quo. You deem the Arbitrary General was too tolerant to restrain someone. If he were cruel enough to shut you in a cell, you would not contract with Silver Wolf. With this genius hacker, you can unauthorized access the network of Internal Affairs freely to obtain top-secret information. 

"You will become a political criminal and be accused of national betrayal, Lady Jin." - The angelic voice of the purple-haired woman singsong at your side while making a deal. Her saccharine smile dripping with nullifying nerve poison did not cast a jinx on you. As long as you are eligible to rescue Xianzhou, you do not mind hand-tarnishing and playing the villain's role. 

Furthermore, to prevent your information blockchain from leaking or any accidents, you divide the source into two segments: electronic data and physical version. As for the software, you are confident about Silver Wolf's system, and the spy team will develop a coding system that only you can decipher those materialized documents. 

You are now very close to the truth of Stellaron and the purpose of Tingyun's missing. This battle is not just about wits, but also about psychology because your mentality will break at any time when working under intense pressure, and you are positive that Jing Yuan still keeps a tab on your actions. It seems like walking onto a rope since any stripped steps will lead you to fall into an abyss. You have already gambled everything into this Stellaron case, so trivial mistakes are unacceptable. 

"Xianzhou is in its dead end, huh?" - A hopeless sigh leaves your lips as you drum the Ambrosial Abor's bark on the table. It was once a remnant of Phantylia's physical body and still lingering her power. You ordered a reconnaissance mission for Yu Ye - one of your spies, to scout Scalegorge Waterscape and collect some observations. According to the final analysis, it turns out like you used to suspect. Disciples of the Sanctus Medicus organization have an inextricable link to the path of Destruction, and Danshu is their leader. The bags under your eyes connote white nights of restlessly investigating the case and strategizing an offensive plan. However, the more you try, the more desperate you get because the end of Xianzhou is nigh. 

"General will rampage..." - You pungently laugh while considering the ace to rescue the ship from its wreckage. 

Three days after your finding, Lord Phantylia ambushes with another appearance and boundless potency. She synthesizes with the Ambrosial Abor and devastates all axis avenues to isolate the Divination Commission. The bell of an urgent evacuation was announced deafeningly as the defensive force assembled under the general's order. The Internal Affairs determines this turmoil with the highest rank: The Grand Calamity. Jing Yuan and the Astral Express, including the support of Imbibitor Lunae's incarnation, combat valiantly to repel her attacks, even rip off her earthly body again. But alas, the assault was no more than bait to whittle their stamina. 

The vassals of Destruction are truly twisted creatures because Phantylia used Tingyun as her backup vessel to manifest as a pseudo-embodiment. The circumstance gets dire when Jing Yuan eradicates her presentation. Phantylia's insane laugh echoes across the frontline when she obtains her end, revealing that Stellaron's core gained its humanoid attribute inlaid into the tree, which has grown maturity and is about to blow away Luofu. Everyone roots their feet on the ground, trucking with astonishment when they realize it took Tingyun's features for preference. In the meantime, you have fully prepared and hurriedly advanced to the battlefield. 

"You will die." - said Fu Xuan, who abruptly hinders your way with two Cloud Knight soldiers standing behind. You silently commend her clairvoyance as clutching on the long sleeve. General's order or not, you will not be backward this time and instinctively initiate the combat stance without saying. However, to your surprise, Fu Xuan raises her hand to display a military-style greeting. 

"Farewell, Tactician. We will always remember you." 

The usual stoic face transfers into solemnness, and a faint smile decorates her complexion when you reciprocate her respects. The Apocalypse has befallen Luofu, so either going to the gallows today or tomorrow, your destiny is inevitable. Reversely, Xianzhou will be safe if she lets you go.

"Then, I go first. Goodbye, Master Diviner." 

Little do you know, as soon as your turning heels march forth, tears cascade like small streams on Fu Xuan's features because she knows this is the last conversation. Her hand keeps in place while watching your figure gradually shrink into the bands of light, embarking on the suicide mission.  

Twilight dyes the Cetral Starskiff Haven into a honeyed hue, pouring his shadow long onto the cemented ground. The evening breeze wafts in the scent of mid-summer, causing the scarlet hair tie to dangle slowly while Jing Yuan is grazing the sunset. His mind winds up reminiscing about your record, about that fatal day. 

You confessed all your sins, described detailed tactics of your scheme in a willing video, and pinpointed your study's whereabouts in the first half.

[...Luofu needs you, Lord Jing Yuan. I was always the one who was protected, so this is my turn to protect you as well as the whole of Xianzhou. As a discerning general, I ascertained you know it is impossible to win without casualties and sacrifices more than anyone else. Even though offering up my life cannot redeem my crime, I still hope you will forgive me.]

Your arrival at the frontline was most opportune when everyone was on their knees. Jing Yuan's pupils squeezed at the scene of you proceeding forward with a peary shaman uniform. As you acknowledged your presence, a sudden sensation of a familiar and alien mixture boiled up his blood like a deja vu phenomenon. He foresaw a vicious omen when the milieu gradually shifted into a foreign landscape according to your spells. Precisely, the one with a flowery blooming hill and roseate pastel petals looms freely. Because the Stellaron's core was attached to the Ambrosial Arbor's ley line, the sensible way to destroy it was using your fate to cut off the link between them by creating a Bounded Field. 

You acquired the relic and its summoning rhapsody from a nomadic entrepreneur for your collecting hobby. At first, you thought it was no more than a myth until you nearly died in an impromptu trial. Jing Yuan never barked orders to you before, but he did back then because this ancient omnipotent power of Divine Phoenix would consume your life and shatter your spirit core, which meant you could not reincarnate.

However, staying in the cosmos of the Imaginary Hanging Garden, he was but a spectator who bore witness to the sacrificial rite. 

"Breath of flame, wings of iron

Resurrect in the evening shroud

We seek for thine salvation 

Hear me, and materialize thineself, Millennial Aegis!" 

The light of four directions rendezvous immediately at the melody from your jade flute. Aurora borealis proudly formed the cupola shape aloft while the Orion constellation blazed in the vermillion sky. All the exaggerated phenomena used to welcome a gigantic phoenix descends. 

A paramount terror besieged Jing Yuan's features when he saw the Extreme Crevasse covering your hands and creeping up your face. 

When Millenial Aegis beat its wings and annihilated the Stellaron's core, the Bounded Field progressively faded, and so did you. The general darted toward you as quickly as possible, but your body completely evaporated into the ether, leaving behind your belongings before he could reach you. The jade flute carving of an elaborate phoenix rolled beside his heel whilst Jing Yuan held your shaman attire dumbfoundedly. 

"Glory to the Xianzhou." was your last sentence with a peaceful smile. 

Immortal is supposed to be a heavenly gift but turns out to be an eternal torment when it carries an unrecoverable wound and chronic affliction, which causes him half-dead, half-alive. Autumn left, Winter came, Spring withered, and endless loops of seasons with time dusting the old memories cannot replenish his hollow soul. Even in another life, you two will never have happiness because it is a perpetual partition. Jing Yuan does not usually tolerate liars, yet he made an exception for you because no matter how hard he tried, the man could not nurture grudges whom he loves to the world beyond. His heart still throbs beside your memento-the red Camillia hair ornament that neatly stays at the inner chest pocket but no longer shows vital signs. 

[I am not afraid of falling into limbo. I only mind that my contribution becomes meaningless. Please live a happy life henceforth devoid of me because this is the last time I say 'I always love thee.']

Jing Yuan was just dreaming. Dreaming of having another chance to protect you and see your smile once again. 

Millions of possibilities cannot bring you back; he knows because he tried.

Millions of tears either, he knows because he cried. 

Footnote: I intend to write for Dan Feng next, but it will take a long time, and I won't post any fics in the near future. Therefore, you can unfollow me if you want. Again, thank you to all readers who love my fanfic.

[notnotnightwing]

Ooc

Hey I just wanted to clear up some things with my version of dick!

Basically, the way that he acts is technically a mask for his identity, but it's also because he doesn't really know who he is. Hence why sometimes you can see his mood shift extremely quickly and why he can act rly silly and goofy one minute and be extremely upset the next.

Any past coping mechanisms mentioned for him are based half on cannon and half in Fannon. Yk how ppl hc that jason got smoking from dick? My version use to smoke and etc etc.

Another reason he acts the way he does is because to me he's still kind of in the time of his life where he's trying to figure out who he is and what he wants to do in life. But due to events in cannon and in the rp he feels like he has little to no support system. He feels like he can't trust some people, and the other people aren't big fans of coo so he feels as if they don't like him since like

People always bring it up with him and stuff

So I think that he feels like everyone, including coo, either 1 has something against him, 2 doesn't trust/like him, or 3 he can't trust them

He can't even trust himself (if you look at the start of the seal rp the saving arc and stuff..) and scroll enough to see him going 'hrnn..' or something similar (just random thoughts) he kinda mumbles to himself alot, I stole that from a hc that some of the bat kids got certain stuff from bruce and so I made dick act like him in that aspect lol

Anyways, my version of dick acts silly or weird at times because he likes to make others feel happy, if you scroll down far enough I can almost guarantee that you will find something of him saying something along the lines of him just wanting others to feel happy, he doesn't even want to really pick a side of who he loves. Because he genuinely does not have the capacity to do so.

He wants others to be happy, even at his expense. But he'll try his best not to show it (like I said, if you scroll down far enough to see his ramblings to himself or just single posts that are out of the ordinary for what he posts, its because he doesn't tag them) he doesn't want people to really see how he truly feels, even if it's a smidge.

And if he doesn't want to answer something, he redirects it or just says something stupid. Because it's all a mask. An act. He doesn't know how to respond. Because truly he's not mentally stable enough to do so. He doesn't want to seem like he's picking a side AND he doesn't want to hurt someone.

He tries his best to be there for everyone, the way he acts and what he does shows that. But he sort of knows that he can't, he just doesn't want to admit that. He constantly sacrifices his happiness for others gain. And for what? He doesn't know what to do, but he tries to do what's best for everyone BUT himself. And when he does find someone he loves, people don't approve of it. So yk

He's even deeper in the hole

But I digress :)) I sort of based this version off cannon, fannon, and hcs of mine. So if it's ass mb 💀💀

[freeuselandonorris]

omg please director’s commentary on oscar’s thoughts/feelings/vibes/happy valley rewatch for is it cold in the water? please? 🙏

EXCELLENT QUESTION omg. is it cold in the water? is my fetid little kidnap kink fic and probably the most 'personal' kink fic i've ever written but i don't often think about CNC from the other side!

okay, under the cut for length and also cw for discussion of CNC and kidnap kink.

so i think the only way oscar would be able to easily conceptualise being the 'aggressor' in a CNC scene is to essentially create a sort of character for himself, not in the sense that he's acting exactly (i think he'd be far too self-conscious to do any sort of dramatic roleplay) but more that he'd sort of have to externalise it and figure out the motivations and behaviours of this other, fictional Bad Oscar because he wouldn't quite be able to picture himself doing it.

i think i've mentioned before that i imagine lando figures out what kinks he wants to try out by going absolutely kamikaze in the pornhub tags, whereas oscar reads the wikipedia page list of paraphilias in his spare time. he likes to research!

but with CNC, because he kind of feels like he needs that external character self, just reading about it isn't really helping him. and maybe lando mentioned something vague like "yeah it's hot in films and that innit, getting tied to a chair and your mouth taped up and that" and that triggers oscar to think about the kidnap scene in the first episode of happy valley.

(side note: the happy valley thing is maybe the most egregious bit of personal fanservice i've ever put into one of my own fics because the kidnap and torture/threat scenes at the beginning of the first series make me FERAL. so glad other people enjoyed it lmao)

anyway so oscar would basically have watched those episodes back and studied up, both to get ideas of what he could do and how he could translate that into safer stuff to do to lando (hence the pillowcase over the head instead of just duct taping his actual skin/hair) but also to get ideas of how tommy lee royce acts and why it's threatening but also kind of attractive. which is why the persona he adopts is very cold and cruel and almost mocking (that bit in HV where TLR asks "are you a virgin?" in that sly way was VERY influential on oscar's dialogue).

i think when it's actually happening in the moment, he surprises himself with how much he gets into it, in a similar way to how lando is shocked by how difficult it is to remember that the threat isn't real. he's always in control of himself and there's a bit of him that's constantly watching lando to make sure he's safe and isn't getting genuinely hurt, but he likes seeing lando so helpless and scared, and it means that by the end of it he's acting more on instinct (i don't think coming on the pillowcase across his face would have been planned in advance, for instance). that's partly why he gets a bit of top drop himself afterwards, because he'd sort of imagined that he'd have more emotional distance from it all than he has in reality.

final tidbit: the most stressful part of the entire thing for him is stealing the zipties from the garage. it's done on the spur of the moment, but he's petrified someone's going to see him and ask what he's doing because he can't think of any plausible excuse why he might need a handful of big zip ties and also they're really hard to hide about his person and he's sure everyone can see them tucked inside his hoodie.

FANX i love thinking about this 'verse so very much. need to go and rewatch the first two episodes of happy valley now for personal reasons.

[goblin-the-clown]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Elizabeth interpretation?

Yay I love talking about her! I don't currently have any drawings since I'm planning on redesigning her if that's what you meant but I'll tag you once I do eventually draw her. There's a few different phases to her character (as with most of them) so I'll explain them all here.

Little Lizzie (2-4) : This is basically just Elizabeth when she's a young kid, she's more happy and naive here, she doesn't realise there's anything wrong with her fathers neglect. Michael pretty much raised her so she's very attached to them and Evan as well. She's also very good friends with Charlie.

Pre-bite Lizzie (5-8) : This is when she starts becoming a lot more bitter and aware of her situation. She grows away from her brothers and becomes very jealous of Charlie due to the close relationship she has with her father. She's still friends with her but mainly because she's Evan's best friend, they don't really talk outside of that. She spends most of her time watching soap operas (which is the reason Michael starts watching them later on) and drawing for comfort. She's very hardworking in school and a major perfectionist, despite this she rarely gets more than a 'well done' from William.

Post-bite Lizzie (8-10) : After the bite, the life she had beforehand is basically shattered. Evan is gone, William is paying even less attention to her and Charlie and Michael are acting very strange. She still very young and doesn't quite understand the concept of PTSD so she assumes the both of them are just being dramatic with being so upset about the bite years after. She hangs around with Michael most of the time because she doesn't want to be left alone again, he doesn't talk much but it's nice to know she's not completely alone.

Scrap baby : I consider Circus baby to be her own character so I didn't include her here but it's very obvious Liz is in control of Scrap baby. All those years of pent up and now she's a giant robot with the ability to kill and hurt anyone she wants. She knows her father is a killer, so if she becomes a killer as well then that will surely make him proud of her. So she comes up with a plan to kill the owner of the pizzeria and it fails miserably. She's still just a kid, but she's become so lost that she doesn't realise the flaws in her plan or the obvious trap right in front of her. She's starting to get herself mixed up with Baby (hence the "If you still remember that name" line) and she believes she has the skills to manipulate and fool someone just like she did. In the fire, she realises what she's done and begins to come back to her senses. She's scared she's going to go to hell just like William, but Micheal assures her that her soul will be put to rest and she feels at peace for the first time in her life.

Tysm for asking! I really appreciate it :D If you have any other questions I'd be happy to answer them as well 😁

[averageclawcodeenjoyer]

Alright so as far as introductions go, I guess I should probably make one before I get too far into this.

HERES MY ABOUT ME POST!

My name's Leonardo, and you can call me any version of that that you want (Leo, Leon, Leonard, Nardo[my favorite], either way, it's all the same to me.) My pronouns are He/Him. I am an artist, author, animator, and a DEDICATED CLAWCODE ENTHUSIST (Hence the name)

I am also VERY autistic and don't get tone a lot, so tone tags are very important to me, especially when there's joking or sarcasm involved.

Ahem.

I know the Spiderverse Fandom isn't particularly alive (SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP) but I will try to post often, even if it's just a shitpost here and there. I really want to help feed into the ClawCode brain rot since the content for these two is SEVERELY FUCKING LACKING. So. If you have requests for things, I will probably end up doing them! My asks are always open, and I'd love to hear from anybody. I don't have any friends that love them the way that I do 😔😔

I have not had Tumblr before! Which is a little insane, so I'm new to all of this and learning how everything works. Please forgive me if I don't know the proper etiquette on this app lmao. My friend has been guiding me through all of this and told me to make an About Me post, so that's what I'm doing.

Here are some tags that will frequent my posts!

Yapping Hour - Will either be used for headcanons, or short stories/ideas/other ClawCode related crap. It's just going to be a general tag that will probably go on most of my posts from here on out.

Slur Gallery - Will be of the art I post of them, be it ship art or other :3 because everybody deserves a gallery of slurs to look at. AND JUST LOOK AT THEM!

Earworm - Is the tag I'll use when there's music involved, like songs that remind me of them (and the heavy analysis that goes with it **COMING SOON**), or animatics that I'm working on, or just anything that has to do with a song. Edits, artworks, the whole shebang.

Talkaholic - This will ALSO be used for mini stories/facfics, but more often than the yapping hour. So if you wanna read my writing of them that's what you can find it under.

Offline - will be under posts like these, where it isn't directly related to anything, just random blocks of text or other art that I feel like posting.

Oil And Water - THIS tag will be about the fanfic I am currently (excruciatingly slowly) writing! It doesn't have a happy ending and is meant to be a HEAVY angst story, like hurt/no comfort or very little comfort. I have one chapter out currently but will be working on more soon (and will make a separate post about it! But I will link it here as well. MOTIVATE ME TO WRITE IT /HJ)

Prowler Party - Is what I'll put on ALL of my posts as an extra way to help find me if one so desires d=(^o^)=b

OOC - On the chance that I might make something intentionally out of character, I will put this beneath it. I know a lot of people don't like mischaracterization, or incorrect portrayal of a character, but sometimes it's really fun to write, so I will be including that was well.

I think that's all that I can think of right now (I'm running off of an hour and 40 minutes sleep), but things may change or be edited in the future. But for now, I'll be signing off.

Shipwrecked - THIS WILL BE ABOUT MY SELKIE/SIREN AU BECAUSE IM ACTUALLY NOT OKAY ABOUT IT AND NEED TO SHARE MY INSANITY

HELLO AND THANK YOU TO THE WARM WELCOME I'VE RECIEVED!!

MORE COMIGN SOON

[kitsune-bones]

Hi, I found your blog scrolling the therian tag, and I was wondering if you had any advice for someone who wants to support a therian in their life? recently my little cousin has begun to identify as therian, and i want to support them. Others in our family are trying to make them stop, and don't hide their shame that my cousin is a therian, and i think that's such a hurtful thing to do to a young person who is just being themself. I want my cousin to know I support and love them as their genuine self, but i will confess, i dont actually know anything about therianthropy (hence the tag scrolling). My research I can do on my own, but since it's not an experience I know, I was wondering if there was anything I should know about how to show my love and support in an affirming way that doesn't seem condescending or like I'm just appeasing them. I want my cousin to know they can trust me and that I'm on their side. Any advice would be appreciated, thank you for being yourself!

Heya!

That really depends on the person I think. Essentially I would just tell them that you support them and ask them what they'd prefer. Most of us just want to feel like we can be ourselves, so being a safe space for them is far and away the best thing you can do.

Maybe you can make jokes about/references to them being their theriotype. Like little light ones - "sorry, [cousin], can't come with; the sign says no dogs allowed" or something like that.

Theming gifts and stuff around their theriotype would also be something you could do. I mean, don't flood them with stuff of just their 'type - that's a bit Much - but think like, things that relate to that 'type's habitat and stuff.

And speaking of, going outdoors with them if you can is probably a good idea, especially if they're a social animal.

Oh and like, snacks similar to their theriotype's diet (though maybe that's just me bc I would kill for someone to offer me inarizushi haha).

Mm, it's hard to suggest more without knowing your cousin at all. Tell them they're safe with you, and ask them what it is they'd like. Might be awkward but I've seen everything from 'treat me like I'm a [kintype] in every way possible' to 'treat me like a normal human and do not make note of my nonhumanity At All', and the stuff in between. I'm just some fox on the internet, no way I can speak for us all ^^

Hopefully that was helpful to ya, and good luck with the research!

[mccall-muffin]

Hard decisions // Ron Speirs x Reader

Summary: A breakup is always hard. No matter if you are the one breaking up or if you are the one who someone else is breaking up with. To make the decision to break someone's heart you loved will always break your own. The best comfort you have, either way, is love.

Warnings: Angst, Break-up letter, Watch out for the feelings, insecurities, guilty conscience.

A/N: This is for you, @brassknucklespeirs! I hope it will cheer you up a little!

Tagging: @brassknucklespeirs, @lieutenant-speirs, @softguarnere, @liebgotts-lovergirl, @hxad-ovxr-hxart (Some of you told me that you want to be tagged in these kinds of things, so... here you go! If you want me to stop, just tell me ;) )

February 12, 1945 - Haguenau, France

Thinking, you sit in front of the blank paper on the table in front of you. For what feels like an eternity, you have been sitting there trying to put down on paper the words that have been haunting your mind since Nuenen. Probably even longer, if you're honest.

Since your company has lost so many men, you've become increasingly aware. More aware that it could hit you at any moment.

At home, your fiancé is waiting for you. He didn't have to serve in the war because he helped build warships in New York before the war. You were just in your last year of medical school when the U.S. entered the war.

That was also why they quickly brought you to one of the military camps to help train Combat Medics. Most recently, you were at Camp Toccoa with the paratroopers, where Colonel Sink took notice of you. Seeing the best company to date already in front of him, he immediately wanted to recruit you for Easy.

Your fiancé, of course, at first was far from enthusiastic about the idea of you going to war, but eventually, he took your wish into account. As he always has.

If he didn't read your wishes from your lip, then all you had to do was say the word, and he did what was in his power to make you happy.

And now you're sitting here. In front of the blank paper, somehow trying to come up with a phrase to break the heart of the kindest, sweetest man in the world.

Sighing, you take the pen in your hand and start writing.

My dearest love,

As I write, I already feel that I will regret this letter forever. You brought me joy like no man ever could when I needed it most. You brought out the best in me by simply being you. Your love has lifted me to the most incredible heights imaginable.

Nothing in life is predictable - not even love. What you feel for someone today may not be the same tomorrow. I am saying this as I think my feelings for you have gone through something similar. I don't feel the same for you as I did when we started dating. I don't know why this has happened, but I think I should be frank and honest with you.

I can't stay in a relationship where there is no love. I hope you're able to move on and meet someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.

It would be unfair to you if I let it continue this way. You certainly deserve someone who loves you wholeheartedly. Hence, I feel I need to be honest with myself and you and let go of our relationship.

I am deeply hurt, and my heart will undoubtedly be scarred because we can't be together. I am willing to suffer this pain because I know you will be happy in your new life. But I have to let you go and end this relationship even though doing so feels like stabbing my own heart. I have to let you go so we are both free to move on with our lives.

It is a heartbreaking decision I am making. I hope we can remain friends, and I hope you agree that this is the best decision for both of us.

Thank you for coming into my life and filling it with so much love. I hope, someday, in another universe, we meet sooner and in favorable circumstances.

With all the love,

Y/N

As you write the last words, tears run down your cheeks. You quickly wipe them away before leaning back in your chair and rubbing your face. It almost tears your heart, but you can't help it. Your feelings are not the same as they once were.

With a heavy heart, you make your way to Vest to bring him the letter. Your hands holding the envelope are shaking, and your eyes are still burning.

"Corporal!" you hear someone call out before you turn around. "Sir?" you ask back, and Speirs approaches you. Your heart begins to beat faster. However, you can't tell if it's because the captain is getting closer to you or because you're nervous that he'll notice you're not doing well.

Quickly, you wipe your eyes again with your sleeve.

"Is everything all right, Y/L/N?" asks Speirs, and you nod. Maybe a little too quickly because he raises an eyebrow. "I - I just wanted to take this letter to - um Vest." Speirs eyes you. Your eyes glaze over, and your hands shake more violently again.

"For your folks?" he asks before you press your lips together. "In - in a way, yeah."

You stand there for another moment, neither of you saying anything. "Well, come on, then. I'll walk with you." Surprised, you look at him. "Sir?" Speirs says nothing but starts to leave, and you quickly follow him.

When you arrive at Vest, he smiles at you as he always does. "Y/N, good to see you. Do you have something for me?"

You just stand there, letter in hand, staring at it. "Y/N?" Vest picks up again, exchanging a questioning look with Speirs, who is also eyeing you. But you are still nervously kneading the letter in your hands. Suddenly you feel a hand on your shoulder and jerk your head up. "Y/N?" now Speirs asks, looking you in the eyes and then at the letter in your hands.

You meet his gaze as he carefully takes the letter from your hands and hands it to Vest without breaking eye contact with you. Then he grabs your upper arm. "Come," he whispers, pulling you along with him.

You ask no questions as Speirs leads you out of the house, into another, then up two flights of stairs and into an abandoned apartment. At the top, he lets go of you, and you take a quick look around the room.

"What's going on with you?" Speirs then asks, looking at you as you walk over to the window and stare out. At first, you say nothing.

"I just did something that - wasn't easy." You turn to Speirs and look at him. "I - I ended it. With my fiancé," you add. Speirs still says nothing but looks at you.

Tears well up in your eyes. "I - I couldn't go on. Not like that. That - that wouldn't be fair to him, and he's so -" your words break off, and you sob.

"Hey, hey," Speirs says softly, coming over to you and taking you in his arms. "It's okay, you hear?" He gently strokes your back. You rest your head on his shoulder. "It's not," you whisper, "He's too good, and I..." You push away from him. "I've fallen in love with someone else."

You take a few steps away from Ron. "Y/N, we can't always help our feelings. How long has it been since you've seen your fiancé? Two years?" Now you look at him again. "It doesn't matter, Ron. I promised him I would. I promised him I'd come home to him and marry him; instead, here I am, breaking his heart. Jesus!" You ruffle your hair in despair.

"You have a guilty conscience," Ron says, stepping up to you again. You feel his breath on your face. "That's understandable, but you need to know that two years is a long time, and a lot can happen, Y/N. And no matter what you do, it always hurts." You look into his blue eyes.

Then you lean in and kiss Ron. It only takes a few milliseconds for his hands to be on your neck, and he deepens the kiss. As you pull away from each other, Ron rests his forehead against yours.

"It was never my intention to put you in this situation, Y/N. I hope you know that" he whispers, and you close your eyes briefly. Then you nod slightly. "Like I said, we can't control our feelings. You had feelings for me even though you were engaged, and I had feelings for you even though it's forbidden, let alone since I'm your superior. And yet, I believe that love is a beautiful thing, Y/N. And we should embrace it. In these dark times anyway."

Ron takes your hand in his. "You don't know how much I love you, Y/N. And it hurts me to see you like this." He takes your hands in his. "You know," you say softly. "In the beginning - in the beginning, I thought it would go away. That I'd get a handle on my feelings. But I realized more and more that that probably wasn't true."

You look Ron in the eye. "You've shown me what I need and what I'm missing, Ron." Then you put a hand to his cheek. "I need you, and I love you." You lean in again and kiss Ron. "Thank you for being there for me."

"I'll always be here for you. Even if you would have chosen differently, my love. I would have accepted it, but you are too important to me not to have you in my life anymore. I love you more than anything in this world."

Tears come to your eyes again. Ron wipes them away with his thumb. "Don't cry, darling. It all gets easier with time, believe me. He'll get over it, too, Y/N, and find someone who loves him just as much. Don't worry too much, okay?"

He strokes my arms comfortingly. A smile creeps onto your face, even though you're still crying. "Thank you, Ron. That's what I needed to hear." "Sometimes you just need the right person, with the right words."

One more time, you put your lips to his. "I love you." He tenderly caresses your cheek. "And I love you."

[sapphictealeaf]

AO3 Fic Meme, tagged by @girlonthelasttrain :DDD

1. What rating do you write most of your fics under?

General Audiences (22)

2. What are your top three fandoms?

....Dream SMP (15), the numbers are every so slightly inflated because that was the fandom i happened to post/finish the most fics for, but i also was just reeeeally into DSMP during 2021/2022

3. What is the top character you write about?

Unsurprisingly, TommyInnit (13), the next non-DSMP character is Poe Dameron with 5 so i guess i found something truly captivating in the concept of tommy as a character

4. What are the top three pairings you write about?

......TommyInnit & Wilbur Soot (9) the curse of having been really active in a fandom that became fucking radioactive

5. What are the top three additional tags?

Canon Compliant (16), with Angst (13) and Hurt/Comfort (12) very close behind

6. Did any of this surprise you?

Not really, but mostly because I've looked at my statistics every so often when I get bored. It's really weird with the whole DSMP stuff because I can only talk about it with others who were in the trenches with me and who I know did not have freak ass opinions, as well as the fact that half of the content creators that were part of it I can't even think about without feeling about a bajillion volts zapping my brain. I don't want to be ashamed of it, but I know how weird it often looks to outsiders.

BUT at the same time it was such a big time for me writing-wise. I'm still so incredibly proud of some of the writing I did back then, I improved so much from the sheer frequency at which I was writing and rereading my stuff and just, well, also just growing up as a person a little bit, but also I never felt so inspired as with the dynamics both between characters but also the concept of the characters as individuals. I think this was largely due to the improvisational nature and inconsistent lore from the dozens of conflicting content creators, so it was kind of up to each individual fan/viewer to imply or add elements onto the existing material.

Admittedly, I was trying to stick to what we were given as much as possible, but I mean there was so much room for interpretation that it couldn't possibly have remained "true" to the source material entirely. Hence the 16 tags of canon compliance (most of them were for DSMP), that was always important to me. So many people would write AUs and rewrites and canon divergences that it like... basically became RPF and that wasn't really my vibe. (Ironically, a lot of my fics are still tagged RPF in the fandom because I didn't understand AO3 tagging and was trying to make my works easily searchable, I really should remove the tags)

Anyway who gives a fuck about DSMP! Not me! *hides the massive folders upon folders in my google drive under the big folder labelled MCYT*

Here's to hoping for more lesbians in my statistics soon, maybe next year I'll have racked up some more, who knows!

I wouldn't know who to tag so if this Somehow comes across your dash then feel free to do it and tag me! I'd love to see others perhaps having slightly less haunted and cursed answers LMAO

[fiddler-sticks]

(I’m the “aphobic” anon 🙄) okay maybe ick wasn’t the right word, I apologize for that. It IS a trigger. I was hesitant to use that word because I didn’t want to make a huge deal about it. Btw I’m sending this ask just because I’m very upset at the idea of being labeled an aphobe (I’m asexual), I don’t care anymore about the tagging I’m just going to block you after sending this

Not to air out my drama, but I do kinda feel like I have to prove myself to you because I’ve been following you for a loooong time— as a demiromantic person, I’ve only ever loved one person in my entire life, for years and years. That person hurt me and blamed the fact that they’re aroace (which they didn’t tell me when they asked me out), saying that they treated me badly because they could never in a million years love me and that it was anger-inducing when I expressed my love for them.

Anyway, Cole is my favorite character in any media ever, and is my comfort character. I’m so sorry, but people headcanoning Cole as aroace is a trigger for me and always sends me spiraling remembering that relationship.

Before you yell at me again, I KNOW that that was just one bad experience, and It did not make me aphobic. I’m not uncomfortable or triggered by asexual aromantic people in my life (of which there are many, like half my friend group), just when that label is connected to my source of comfort. I don’t treat my aroace friends any differently; in fact I’ve never spoken to anyone in my life about this trigger of mine. Lol that’s probably another reason I mislabeled it at first, cause this is literally the first time I’ve ever opened up and tried to ask for boundaries regarding it lol

I’m demiromantic and asexual, since you asked, but I identify strongly with a lot of aroace sentiments (hence I don’t wanna block that tag) because I may as well never experience romantic feelings; that one emotionally abusive relationship was my only ever bf and I’ve never loved anyone since

Don't know why I'm responding to this since you have me blocked now anyway.

I never called you aphobic, and I never yelled at you. Reread what I said if you need to. Your experience sounded like it sucked and I'm sorry that that happened to you. I'm also sorry that you felt the need to part ways over this, but Cole being aroace is something that brings me joy and I'd rather not tag every little thing about the headcanon.

Well, I guess all I have to say now is goodbye. Sorry if I sounded over-composed, because if I'm not, I'm going to rage. Just know that I have all the respect for you, and if you feel blocking is the right path, go right ahead. We all have a right to tailor our online experience to our likes and dislikes. 👋

[toorusluvr]

❥ ҉   CHAPTER FIVE - HALF A HEART

❥ ҉   NOTE FROM NIS: this chapter is normal. no smut but it does contain a hint of it in the earlier paragraphs. i would like to note all of you that this chapter has some timeskipping (i don't know if i word it right lol is that even a word) it's like a fast forward thingy hsjdjsj. anyway, this chapter also hints on signs of toxic relationships and emotional abuse. please don't peruse if you are uncomfortable with the things aforementioned! pls pls pls, this whole series is not sfw!! hence the smut tags!! so, minors and ageless blogs please dni for my health’s sake 💔

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It has only been three weeks since your friends with benefits relationship with Iwaizumi started. Try to take a guess how many times he has wrecked you at this public property called school? You have lost count but the sex with him is way too good to refuse him at times. Most of the time, Iwaizumi would come to your house where your mom was often away at work. So, you never really had the chance to go to his place yet. 

Friends with benefits relationship with Iwaizumi made you go feral at times. He’ll occasionally tease you here and there in class or in the lab, sometimes during lunch break in front of his friends. Name any place you guys haven’t touched yet, you have done it there at least once. Thank goodness no one has caught you guys red-handed.Yet.

This little rendezvous would be busted if the both of you aren’t being careful enough. 

Oikawa didn’t understand it at first since he thought you guys were becoming close, and he’s grateful for it. Until one day, he caught you having hickeys on your neck. It was pretty visible that it was freshly marked on your neck, though the collar of your shirt was doing a great job at hiding it. But, Oikawa has a sharp gaze. He knows a hickey when he spots one and this time, he is not wrong. 

“Hey, Y/N. May I ask, what’s that on your neck?” Oikawa pointed at your neck with the tip of his pen. He was curious if it might be a bruise but it was a hickey. His hunch is never wrong. 

Your eyes widened in shock. You felt the rush of terror coursing in your blood all of a sudden. Oikawa's question had grabbed Iwaizumi's attention as well. You quickly touched your neck, immediately feeling a sting. You hissed at the pain, “Oh, this? It’s allergy season. You know, bugs.”

It happened when Iwaizumi pulled you into the storage room while both of you were on lunch break. It wasn’t anything heavy, just a quick makeout and… light groping and some dry humping. God, you were shameless around this man. 

You rolled your eyes while cursing yourself mentally for not being careful. It's solely your fault for forgetting to double-check your neck after doing the nasty in the storage room. 

“Really? Does it hurt?” Oikawa asked as his eyes trailed to Iwaizumi, who had his head hanging low in a rather odd way. “Wait a minute. I sense something wrong here. Do you guys have something to tell me?” He cocked his eyebrows at both of you. He sensed something's off with Iwaizumi and you. He knew his guts were telling him otherwise. 

The way Iwaizumi was hanging his head low after he heard his question. It was odd! Oikawa knew both of you guys were not telling him something. Both of you guys turned to look at Oikawa and yelled, “No!” around the same time. Both of you looked at each other with a frowny face. 

Oikawa found it uncanny even more, looking at how startled you guys were, “Hah! Something is going on between you guys. Are you guys secretly dating?” He moved his pen to Iwaizumi's face and yours. He wouldn't have any problem with you guys if you guys happened to date in secret. He just wanted to know the truth, and all is forgiven! 

You couldn’t look at Iwaizumi as it will arouse suspicion. “No, we aren’t, Oikawa. And we will never date. Are you insane?” you were almost speechless at his accusation, but you tried to play it cool. You knew Oikawa wouldn’t give up unless he got the answer.

"We are friends. Come on. He deserves better, obviously!" you chuckled awkwardly. You flipped the pages of your book while pretending to check your answers. You could feel your heartbeat at a rapid pace that almost jumped out of your chest.

Oikawa glared at you, “I don’t buy it. Iwa-chan, do you have anything to say?”

“No,” a short and clipped response from Iwaizumi could shut Oikawa's mouth, but Oikawa trusted his guts. Something is definitely going on between you guys.

Oikawa wanted to figure it out. He was curious about it. “Did you guys, you know..” Oikawa's words trailed off as he wiggled his eyebrows to both of you with a cocky smirk.

You looked at him while shaking your head, “No, Oikawa. Just no.”

Oikawa's lips formed into a thin line. His instincts were definitely right, and he will prove it. Sooner or later. 

The last bell rang, signalling that the class for the day had come to an end. Everyone was preparing to go home quickly, except Iwaizumi and Oikawa, because they stayed late for practice.

You packed your belongings as fast as you could. “I’m heading home first. Bye!” you bid goodbye, and without waiting much longer, you rushed home. Today has been a long day and you can’t afford staying late just so you can taste Iwaizumi. He is addictive, like a drug. You can’t get enough of him. Which is worrying because your relationship is solely based on sex. 

While you were on the way back home, your phone rang, and a familiar name appeared on your screen. “Semi”, you mumbled softly as you saw his name on your screen. You eventually stopped walking just to answer his call.

“Hello?” his sweet voice was heard on the other line, making you clutched onto the hem of your school's shirt. 

“Yes, Semi? How can I help you?” you bit your lower lip, trying to constrain your excitement in your voice. It's been so long since he last gave you a call. You missed his voice, his presence close to you. 

“Can we meet now? I’ll be at our usual hangout spot,” Semi asked. He wanted to see you because you thought he missed you. You really thought he missed you, judging from how his voice sounded. The truth is, that is not always the case in your relationship with him. But you can never outgrow the false hope. 

Your eyes gleamed in excitement. You could spare some time for him since you didn't have any important tasks for the day. 

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes," you agreed. You quickened your pace to the usual hangout spot. Semi’s lips formed into a small smile as he thanked you before ending the call.

Walking fast to your destination, your heart could not stop beating fast. It was singing merrily to celebrate the nth moment your ex wants you back! But, your mind was cursing you to prepare for another downfall. The two parts of yours were fighting one another— they fought so hard you forgot how deafening the voices in your head can be but you could not silence it.

Your heart and mind have given up on you entirely. It’s sad when another part of you wants the best for you but you… just refused it. 

You searched for the man in the crowd of people at the cafe. After scanning the crowds, you finally spotted him sitting beside the glass window with his usual go-to iced coffee. You walked towards him, and he welcomed you with a hug.

“How’s my best girl doing?” Semi asked. He burst into giggles after he discovered his question flustered your heart. The heart he toyed with or without him knowing. He's always loved the sparkles in your eyes every time he is with you. He could still see it in yours, but you could no longer see his... sadly. 

You cleared your throat and smiled at him, “I’m fine as usual. How about you? How’s my best boy doing?” 

When Terushima said you are a fool, you know he meant it with his whole heart. You will always be a fool for Semi Eita, a man who doesn’t know he’s hurting you in silence. You hate that you will come running to him when he needs you.

“The Inter-high preliminaries are coming soon, and I think you know that. I want to meet you. I missed you,” Semi mumbled softly, but it was loud enough for you to hear him. Your lips formed into a grin, your heart jumped in excitement when you heard that he admitted that he missed you.

You smiled at him, “I missed you too, Semi”, was all you could say. It's like your heart has given up entirely on you for betraying your feelings. 

Semi had asked you to get back with him because he finally realised that he couldn’t live without you and it was his “biggest” mistake to let you go. He eats up his excuses every. single. time. The most unfortunate part is that you seem to believe his words each time, even when you know it will have the same ending. 

Terushima once said that other people would have given up on this guy countless times, but you wouldn’t. You were stubborn, and you loved him too much that you let him hurt you over and over again. He can mistreat you as he pleases. Love indeed blinds people. You were one of love's victims. How cruel was it to torture your feelings by getting hurt by someone you loved dearly? Someone who loves you would never do this. This is not love but torture. But, beggars can’t be choosers. Emotional abuse can feel like love. You seek and seek for love in him but Semi can no longer give you the love you need. Or deserve. 

Ever since your dad left you, you seek love in men. The fondness and sense of security that come from men. You found Semi and just to be loved continuously, you let him treat you like this. Not his priority, rather an option he needs. The 11-year-old you would have called you a fool for letting yourself be treated like this but maybe she needs to see that life is not always rainbows and sparkles. 

You and Semi chatted for a while, giggling and laughing as if the break up never happened when in fact the break up happens almost too often. But, you felt your world was whole again when he got back together with you. Your heart was mended, your happiness returned. The sadness almost went away but it lingered. The sadness was buried away out of greed, a pure betrayal towards yourself. 

Semi looked at you. The heart that once grew warmer each time he looked at you was no longer warm. It was cold and stabbed with daggers for mistreating you whom he loved with his whole heart since two years ago. He could not let himself hurt you even more but his selfish desire to have someone he can seek love and affection from, outgrew his consciousness. 

“I’ll text you when I get back to my dorm,” Semi looked you in the eyes before he sent you away. He wished for the love he once had for you to come back to him desperately. He needed this time to be right, to be the way it was back then. He wanted your relationship to be normal again but he knew it won’t be the same as it was. 

You smiled at him. “Okay. Walk safely. Love you!” You said as you gave him a soft peck on the cheek. 

“Love you too,” he said with a forced smile. 

-

Oikawa saw you walk into the class with a bright face he rarely sees. You were smiling, surprisingly. You'd always come to class with a frowny look, or you never smile at anyone at all. So, he assumes you are not a morning person. He supposed you're in a good mood today. Great. But what made you smile? Oh no. Did you see someone getting punched in the guts earlier? That’s why you were smiling? 

“Y/N, what’s up with you? You look happy. Did something happen yesterday?” Oikawa asked. Being a considerate friend he is, of course, he had to ask you. He genuinely cared about you as a friend. But, he was also curious about the genuine smile you had on your face. 

Iwaizumi didn’t even bother to look at you guys as he was busy jotting down in his notebook. But, he was all ears. He owed Oikawa for asking you such a personal question you seem to dodge at certain times. 

“I got back with Semi,” you said. You thought it’s a good time for you to tell Iwaizumi that you had reconciled with your ex. You were clueless about how to approach Iwaizumi about getting back together with Semi. This is the best way you could think of. He wouldn't be mad, right?

Oikawa's eyes widened when you told him that. “What? Semi was the one who broke up with you, right? Why did you do that? Why did you get back with him? As much as I hate the fact that he goes to Shiratorizawa, I don’t think getting back with him is the right thing to do, Y/N! God, why are you so stubborn?” He let out a deep sigh as he grew frustrated with you.

The moment he found out that you dated Semi Eita, the setter from Shiratorizawa, he could feel his blood boil with rage. The betrayal, he dramatically said to your face. Oikawa was not thrilled by the idea that you dated him or haven’t moved on from him at first but he knew where he stands in your life. You guys just became friends and he is not trying to control your life or whatsoever. But, what you said just now did not make any sense! Why would you let yourself get hurt again? 

Iwaizumi, on the other hand, had expected this to happen. He just wanted to know what made it hard for you to let that toxic relationship go to waste. But he didn’t want to question you anything. He knows what love can do to certain people. He, himself, had a hard time moving on from his previous girlfriend. It was difficult at first but he knew he was being manipulated by her. After getting advice from some people, he knew he could not let himself be manipulated any longer. 

“I know. I just can’t let him go, okay? I don’t know!” you grunted softly. It’s like you are being tied with a rope. You could never let go of Semi, no matter how badly he hurt your feelings before. You'll come running back to him sooner or later when he asks you.

“Do you know that you’re a fool?” Oikawa bluntly asked.

You sighed as you slowly nodded your head. You are well-aware that you are a fool. It’s hard being self-aware but so clueless at the same time. It feels like you are watching your whole life and all of the decisions made, being played before your eyes, like a theatre or like a puppet. 

“I’m surprised that you are aware of that. I thought you didn’t,” Iwaizumi interrupted. Your eyes widened upon hearing his voice after keeping himself quiet for several minutes. 

“You guys don’t tell me what to do, okay? I’m doing just fine—no worries,” you tried to convince them. You haven’t lost all your hopes on Semi yet, just hanging on is fine, you guess.

Because being with Semi erases all of your problems away. You pushed everything aside to prioritise him as your number one. You did your best to make him continue loving you. Little did you know he fell out of love a long ago and only used you for his own good. What a cruel world. Why can't everyone be happy? Why can't someone you love with your whole heart love you the same way? 

“Sure. I’m praying hard for you to be fine too,” Iwaizumi looked you straight in the eyes as he enunciated the words from the bottom of his heart. 

 -

Time flies so fast in the blink of an eye. It's almost time for the Inter-High preliminaries. You didn’t tell Iwaizumi and Oikawa that you were coming to the Inter-High preliminaries. You knew Seijoh would be facing Shiratorizawa in the final round. As much as you were excited to watch them play, you also weren’t ready to face the final round. It’s difficult to determine the winner— knowing too well who got the upperhand, but the chance of Seijoh to win was still there. You let out a sigh as you walked into the court and sat in the bleachers.

The sound of the whistle indicated that the match was starting. You readjusted your position while your eyes fixated on the players in the court below.

You knew his junior, Shirabu, replaced Semi as the starting player, but you were still there to support him. You only come to his game when you have the chance especially when it’s in the earlier days of your relationship. But, you never seemed to remember his opponents’ faces. Solely because you kept your eyes on Semi the entire time. 

Their scores were always neck to neck. You watched their whole match with fingers gripping on the underside of your seat. Silently, you prayed for Seijoh to win the final round. 

Your heart broke a little the moment you saw the frustrated look across your friends’ faces. Sadly, Shiratorizawa won the final round. You had to watch your friends, Iwaizumi, Oikawa, Makki, and Mattsun suffer in silence as Shiratorizawa defeated them. You felt terrible, to be honest. But is there something that you can do to help them? If there is, you will definitely help.

You came down from the bleachers to meet your boyfriend. After seeing your friends exited the court, you thought you wouldn’t bump into Oikawa and Iwaizumi, but you were wrong. They were shocked to see you there.

“Y/N? What are you doing here? You didn’t tell us you were coming!” Oikawa asked. His face showed how exhausted he was. The same goes for Iwaizumi, but both of them still spared their time to talk to you. Both of their eyes were fixated on you, waiting for your answer. 

“I’m actually here for-” your words were cut off when Semi had called your name from afar. Your heart dropped when you realised what you feared had come to reality. 

“She's here for her boyfriend. Can't you see that, Oikawa?” Iwaizumi said, nudging his elbow on the brunette’s ribs. At this point, he just wanted to bonk you in the head for being a fool over someone who clearly doesn’t appreciate you. God, he wished he didn’t have to do that to withstand your stupidity. 

You were astonished upon his replies. His words stung, but you still put on a smile when Semi approached you with a smile on his face. A victory smile, they said.

“Are they your new friends?” Semi asked as he recognised the two youngsters in front of him. 

You nodded. “They’re my classmates. I assume you’ve known each other as of now.”

Semi smirked, “Yes, of course, we know each other. Iwaizumi and Oikawa, right? I apologise if I got your names wrong.” 

Oikawa rolled his eyes at him, “Whatever you say, Semi. We gotta go. Y/N, don’t hang out too much with your boyfriend. I am not pleased." 

Iwaizumi didn’t say anything after Oikawa, and he left Semi and you behind. His shoulders lightly brushed against you. The cold air lingered longer than you would have expected. 

“What did he mean you shouldn’t hang out too much with me?” Semi asked, feeling confused as to why Oikawa said that all of a sudden.

You shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t know! He was just joking, I think.” You'd be lying if you said you didn't know what he was trying to tell you. Everyone's been telling you the same thing frequently, but it never goes right through your mind. 

Semi then threw his arms over your shoulders, walking away from the area. He then brought you to meet his teammates you haven’t met for so long. While you were walking to where his teammates gathered, you kept on turning around to look back at your friends. The sight of Oikawa and Iwaizumi slowly disappeared from your vision. You let out a sigh, feeling sorry as if you betrayed them.

Your friendship with Iwaizumi and Oikawa will be fine, right? You hope your silly mistake does not jeopardise the good rapport you have built with them for the past few weeks. 

-

The moment you stepped your foot inside the school the following day, you spotted the familiar figure with his back turned to you. There he was, Iwaizumi who just walked into the school a few minutes earlier than you. 

“Iwaizumi!” you called out his name from afar, but he wasn’t stopping. So, you ran towards him and he stopped in his tracks. 

Iwaizumi was expressionless, “What?” he snarled. He avoided making any eye contact with you. He has the right to do so. You understood why he behaved in such a way. He was trying to look out for a friend, yet you were stubborn.

“Nothing," you shrugged your shoulders off when he was giving you the cold shoulder. "I just want to walk to class,” you said, forgetting your intention of approaching him in the first place. “Where’s Oikawa?” you asked, your eyes wandering around to look for the brunette.

“He’s at the gym. I guess,” Iwaizumi lazily answered your question.

“You are not upset or anything, right?” you asked. You were careful with your words. Of course, it was never your intention to hurt your friends in the first place. They barely know you, so obviously, you have the upper hand in making your life choices. At the same time, you are aware that they are trying to look out for you. Yet, you still make the same old silly mistake over and over again. 

Iwaizumi frowned at you and scoffed, “Why would I? I’m nothing in your life after all. We're just friends. No hard feelings."

You knew he was pissed for whatever reasons, but you were in no place to point it out either. He would either explode in your face or dismiss you as if you weren’t there. You clicked your tongue and huffed.

“Good,” you said shortly. Iwaizumi was pissed as hell at your response, but he made sure to keep himself silent. He didn't want to hurt you with his blunt words either. Especially, he's in no place to say hurtful words to someone like you. 

“He's going to break your heart again”, Iwaizumi blurted out. He failed in controlling his own thoughts. He had to let you know that Semi isn't good news. 

You scoffed at his words, suddenly raging in anger. "Does it bother you?” you smirked. “Because I think it doesn’t. So, please stay off my life problems, man,” you snarled.

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes at you, “Alright! It's your life. Every decision is up to you, after all.”

He then walked away, leaving you behind alone. You wished you could rip your hair apart because his words were torturing you inside. You know Iwaizumi is right, but you’re extremely hard-headed to admit that.

Since Iwaizumi was giving you the cold shoulder, you thought it'd be best not to talk to Iwaizumi at all for the rest of the week. You were avoiding him at all costs and so did he. 

Oikawa was confused at the sudden cold atmosphere between you guys. He didn’t want to meddle, so he just let both of you cool down first. He learned his lesson the first time so he didn’t want to risk it again. 

Two weeks later, Oikawa walked with you during lunch break, and Iwaizumi was ahead of you guys, eventually leaving you behind. Your phone dinged when you got a notification from Snapchat. You got a message that someone requested to add you on Snapchat. You were unfamiliar with the name, so you just accepted the request. 

Not long after, the person sent you a snap. The person sent you a video, in fact. You gasped, almost dropping your phone as soon as you opened the snap. “What the actual fuck,” you gasped in shock. Both of your hands were shaking while watching the video on loop. 

The person who recently added you is a girl, apparently. And the snap was a video of her laying beside Semi, who was shirtless. Oikawa looked at his side and found you frozen on the spot. Your face looked horrified. 

“What is it, Y/N?” Oikawa asked. But you were unresponsive. He kept on hearing the on-loop snap, so he glanced over your phone and got himself terrified as well.

“Shit! Do you know this person?” Oikawa gasped. A piece of his heart disappeared that moment. He recognised the people in the video—both Semi and the girl. 

“No”, you replied shortly. Your tears were about to fall on your face. Damn it. Your heart was broken by him again. As expected and as told by everyone else around you! 

“Y/N, let me borrow your phone first!” Oikawa interrupted before he snatched your phone away from your hand and sprinted across the hallway. You were startled and confused, so you ran after Oikawa, who was holding your phone.

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa screamed, making Iwaizumi stop walking any further. Oikawa panted as his hand grabbed onto Iwaizumi's shoulder. “Iwa-chan, you have to see this!"

Oikawa showed Iwaizumi the snap video. Iwaizumi clenched his jaw and fists on the spot. “It's her, right?” Oikawa asked to confirm his sight. 

Just then, you showed up before the two guys. “Oikawa, why the hell did you run with my phone?” you asked while panting. You immediately snatched your phone from Oikawa, but his grip was tighter than your force. You grunted and asked for your phone back in a demanding tone. It was a desperate call. 

Oikawa looked at you before letting out a disappointed sigh. He finally returned your phone in your hand. His heart felt heavy to break the news to you. It's obvious that Semi was cheating on you with the said girl. 

Iwaizumi nodded with his head hung low. Oikawa looked at his devastated face. It's either Iwaizumi hasn't moved on, or he felt bad for you. But Oikawa could confirm that it's the latter. 

“Do you know the girl, Oikawa?” you asked, not bearing to have the snap opened any longer. In hurry, you closed the Snapchat app and kept your phone inside your pocket. Your eyes were teary, the tears waiting to fall any second from now on. But, you gotta keep your head held high in front of them.

“She's Iwa-chan’s ex-girlfriend,” Oikawa said. Your eyes widened in terror. All of your anguish started to take control over your mind.

You grabbed Iwaizumi by his collar, “Tell your ex-girlfriend to fuck off and stay off my boyfriend.”

Iwaizumi let go of your grip gently. He let out a deep sigh before looking you in the eyes. His dark green eyes stared into yours lifelessly. “Maybe if you tell your boyfriend to stop being a dickhead, she’ll eventually leave him too like when he left you, huh?”

You clenched your jaw. "If my boyfriend is a dickhead, why would this bitch send this snap to me? What were they even doing, Iwa?” you yelled. You could no longer hold your anger back. You let it all out on Iwaizumi instead of his ex-girlfriend, who did you dirty. 

Oh for fuck’s sake, who the hell knows what they were doing! It was all a punishment for you for taking him back into your life! A lesson you’ll never learn yet you weep over him like you have lost a good man. 

“You better ask your boyfriend about it. My ex-girlfriend has nothing to do with me anymore. You better talk it out with your lovely boyfriend, aight?” Iwaizumi spoke brusquely before he left Oikawa and you behind. His temple started to pulse out of frustration he tried to control. 

You were left speechless. You angrily ran your fingers through your hair. It was clearly a sick game Semi tried to play with you. Of course, you had to be the crazy girlfriend for losing your shit so he could win a good man! 

Oikawa calmed you down and brought you to class as you looked like you lost control over everything. You weren’t saying a thing to him the entire way back to class. He wanted to ask if you had cooled down but it was never the right time so he just let you be. 

As soon as you reached home, you called Semi to meet up. He dared to tell you that he didn’t have any free time. You ruffled your messy hair and threw all your pillows away. "Just meet me tomorrow. No excuses, Semi! I swear to fucking God if you don’t show up, I’ll come to you. Don’t make me do stupid things for you again, Eita!” you said strictly before ending the call angrily. The phone was tossed on the ground, almost shattering into pieces like your heart did. 

You cried onto your pillows and screamed as loud as you could. You got your heart broken again. How you wished it's easier to let go rather than holding on like the others were telling you. Guess not everyone can live by the saying no matter how easy it seems in their eyes. 

taglist: @littlemochi​  @bakamuraaa​ @elakari​ 

[perpetualexistence]

Just going to copy and past your tags @total-drama-brainrot so that they don't get lost forever. They're too good for that. Particularly with calling Noah and Eva sibling dynamics for what they are.

And character development is what the children deserve!

Now, onto an idea I'd had last night, but was too tired to start fully dive into: the exact way of how Noah got to the point of cathartic reconciliation. Featuring Izzy since I finally figured out what she'd be doing throughout all of this!

I know your original idea is that Noah went with the rest of his support network in order to talk with Eva and convince her to not hate herself. However, I offer an alternative:

The original plan was for Noah to go talk to her with everyone else with him. Heather and Alejandro are probably the most insistent given the fact that Eva punched Noah when neither of them particularly liked her in the first place. But they know Noah won't just give up on her, hence the compromise that they go with him.

He agrees to this...then sneaks off on his own to confront Eva. Because he knows how Eva's anger works, and doesn't want her to feel like she's being swarmed with a lot of people. (Plus, a subconscious part of him thinks that if she does go violent in the worst case scenario, then at least he'd be the only one getting hurt. Loyalty to a very distinct fault, everyone!)

It's as he's sneaking off that he gets caught by Izzy. Who he hadn't really seen hide nor hair of since his first Aftermath interview. Even when avoiding Owen he'd seen Owen around. But there was absolutely no trace of Izzy until right now.

She'd just sneak up and ask if he actually knows where Eva is, because she does. Causing him to scream and nearly give himself away before getting his mouth covered and dragged into the nearest closet.

Noah would ask what Izzy thinks she's doing, and Izzy would let him know that she's going to be running interference. It's what she's been doing ever since that first interview when she saw he was lying through his teeth. She set herself up as his secret service stopping any of the other contestants from getting too close. Remember when Geoff was out for a whole day, sending the rest of production in a tizzy? That was her! He'd tried putting ex-lax into Noah's food, so she threw the food out and put the rest of the container in Geoff's food instead!

"You've known this whole time that I was lying?"

"Yep!"

"Why didn't you say anything to me?!"

"Because, No-No. Secret service isn't secret if anyone knows about it! Even if it's the guy being secret serviced."

Noah would be trying so hard not to have a conniption before Izzy went on. "Besides, you could've tried harder to find me, but you didn't. So that one's on you for not trying to tell me anything!"

"Would you have kept quiet about it if I had?"

"Not the point!" Izzy said, proving Noah right in that she would have probably snitched on the plan. "Want me to stop everyone from stopping you from getting to Eva or not?"

Noah would just accept the fact that one of his best friends is cuckoo for coco puffs and take her help.

---

Another little idea I had is that near the beginning of Noah's rage fit with Eva, he's punching the bag and Eva actually takes a second to stop him. Because the idiot is tucking his thumb in while he's punching.

Don't do that. That's how you get a broken thumb. Trust her, it's happened to her before, it's never pretty. The thumb goes outside the fist. Then once he fixes that, they go back to their cathartic wrecking shit.

[I mostly just thought of this because I think it's a neat little touch for Eva to stop Noah from hurting himself, but didn't know how to fit it into the flow of the last post.]

---

And now for the final idea.

After the two express their big emotions, Noah just passes out due to exhaustion. The adrenaline is gone and his constitution is still absolute garbage.

Eva picks him up like a sack of potatoes so that he can rest somewhere better than the gym floor. When she does get to a bench, she encounters an unexpected, yet very familiar problem.

Noah refuses to let go. Apparently he doesn't have to be fully laying down for the cling instincts to kick in. And he's in deep sleep mode so she can't just wake him up to make him stop clinging.

She'd normally just accept this as her fate. Except Izzy will just suddenly Be There and let her know that she's been running interference, but Alejandro and Heather figured out what she was doing and they've got maybe 5 minutes.

Given that the room looks like a war zone and Eva's currently holding a sleeping Noah who's so out of it he's practically unconscious, this does not look good for Eva.

So now she's trying even harder to pull him off. But the boy's a koala. The farthest she's getting is Noah's now clinging onto her from the front but is still holding fast. Eva's running out of time, so Izzy comes up with the perfect solution to make things look better for Eva.

She leg sweeps Eva from behind, causing her to crash onto the floor on her back with Noah now on top of her. Now nobody will think Eva beat Noah up if he's the one on top!

Eva's screaming in frustration at Izzy and this situation, Noah's still fast asleep because he's long used to this level of noise, and Izzy's pointing and laughing at this whole situation.

And that's the situation Alejandro, Heather, and possibly Owen come across on their search for Noah.

Thinking about the fake dating AU again. 🤯

What if, during his segment on the Aftermath, Noah plays off his 'cheating' as something so emotionally detached it makes him look almost psychopathic, in an attempt to make himself as unlikable as possible?

The 'cheating' was simply strategic, is all. It wasn't his fault the two of them had to go and catch real feelings; Noah was just playing the game. Nothing more.

What? You thought he had feelings for them? Don't be ridiculous, Noah felt nothing for either of them- they were just there to carry him through the competition.

(He doesn't anticipate the ache that twists through his chest after that statement. It isn't true in the slightest, yet even just pretending to not care about his partners is physically painful.)

At first, both Geoff and Blaineley commend him for enacting some long overdue karma/vengeance on the antagonistic duo, but the more Noah intentionally digs himself into a hole- the more hateable he makes himself- the more people actually begin to pity both Heather and Alejandro. Which was the plan from the beginning, so Noah fully commits to it, playing off every interaction as just another cog in his manipulation machine; he's the 'High IQ', after all, of course he planned it all.

And he hides the nausea writhing in his gut from the blatant lies he's sprouting under a carefully blank, uncaring mask of indifference. Every claim he makes is said in the most casual tone- as if he's commenting on the weather instead of admitting to masterminding the heartbreak of two strong competitors- and that's somehow worse than if he would at least seem smug about his achievement. Because at least then he'd (appear to) care.

So, when the Aftermath finally ends, Noah becomes persona non grata. No one wants to even look at him- who knew the little snark could be so ruthless? So uncaring?

And Noah, knowing that he can't confide in Owen (who can't keep a secret to save his life) or Izzy (who's too unpredictable to trust- and who also 'leaked' fake information about him to Sierra during her time on Celebrity Manhunt, so who knows what else she's leak?) turns to his friend Eva, who promptly decks him in the face.

"I'm not friends with cheaters."

And when he tries to explain himself, clutching at his quickly bruising face and hoping that she'll see reason or at the very least afford him some decency, she throws his actions back in his face (actions have always spoken louder than words with Eva). Claiming that, if he's willing to lead on two people romantically, who's to say he isn't also faking their friendship? How can she trust anything that comes out of his slimy mouth?

It hurts. Every accusation is like a wave of searing heat against his already blistered heart, and yet Eva's eyes are so cold as she looks at Noah like he's the scum beneath her shoes.

So he flees to his hotel room.

And, for the first time in years, he weeps.

.

Given the informative finale of World Tour, the Aftermath crew were given the go-ahead to host one last hurrah, to properly question their finalists about their scheme, and to clear Noah's name.

Their audience was practically frothing at the mouth for an update.

During their interview segment, Blaineley (in an attempt to stir up some drama- she's always endeavouring to stay on brand after all) plays clips of Noah's callous 'confessions' on his Aftermath segment post-elimination, hoping to cause some trouble in paradise for the lovely throuple by sewing the seeds of doubt in their minds.

To her surprise, both Heather and Alejandro start laughing at the clips as if they're the funniest thing they've ever seen, huddling closer to Noah as they poke and tease him. Noah, in turn, sinks in unto himself, red-faced and mortified.

"What? How can you be alright with him saying that?" Cries Blaineley, scandalised that her attempt at brewing tension somehow didn't work.

"Because he does not mean it." Alejandro explains. To his side, Heather nods in agreement.

"How can you be so sure?"

Heather points to the screen, where past Noah is lying his ass off for the world to see, stoic save for the barely noticable twitching of his fingers and the occasional jump of his leg.

"He's lying through his teeth! It's so obvious- you weren't even trying to hide your tells, and after all the practice we did!"

"I didn't need to. Neither of you were there to call me out on the bluff."