#just a god getting some sunshine
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startistdoodles · 7 months ago
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Arc doodle
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luck-of-the-drawings · 10 months ago
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my TWO FAVORITE THINGS IN THE WORLD, VAMPIRES N COWBOYS... deacon keller is SUCH a fun character, hes charming and funny but ALSO formidable and STRONG when he feels he needsta be. i hope him and arthur can get a chance to talk more and be better friends. l ike really good friend s. . like. like really good f. hangon i gotta go i think i hauve rabies.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#deacon keller#arthur bennett#OOUGUGHHAAOGUguguhh i feel so cringe whenever i ship two characters. like theyre not even REAL#why cant i be more 'hyperfixated' on getting bitched or something. CHRIST. anwyay i want em to hold hands or smth. yknow. freak stuff.#SO DEACON KELLER!! HE OVERHEARD ARTHUR TALKIN ABT THIS PLACE GETTING ATTACKED.. WE SAW HIM APPROACHING#AND THEN THE WHOLE FEAST PORTION OF THE PARTY HAPPENED N HE GOT STUCK#BUT HE KNEEEWW HE OVERHEARD ARTHUR SOMEHOW!! i just think thats neat. hes dedicated to protecting his people. hes respectable!!#GOD he doesnt even have that much screen time but i LOVE HIMMM n his silly lil shadow steed named Sunshine.. like cmon.... ugh.....#hes sweet n hes funny and he CAARES about the things hes in charge of on some levels. he certainly does his best to look after his own.#god idk what else to write here other than how much hes been on my MMMIND lately. the doctors are still running diagnostiscs#i just think hes so neat... also i think its funny that hes afraid o snakes. OH YKNOW lemme just talk abt my damn art. first o all this too#SSSOOO LONG. WEEKS EVEN.IVE BEEN WORKIN ON IT SINCE EP 5 WAS ON PATREON.it was sposed to be justa buncha doodles but then it Evolved#idk man...cowboys are just so cool...especially w VAMP POWERS..fastest shot in the west for a REASON BABY...n with the red smoke#n the glowing eyes..CMOn thats so cool i hadta get my visions into reality. the eyes were inspired by the music video for RATTLESNAKE (kglw#that where the IM THE SERPENT lines come from.lyrics from tha song.ooh yeah i love kglw so much...i also have other hidden messages here#i like to hide things...ALSO ALSO. I HAD SO MUCH TROUBLE W SO MUCH O THIS. the two bits with arthur n deacon biting eachother. AGONY#POSES ARE SO HHARRDDD SAME WITH THAT doodle o arthur slammin deacons head into the ground. WEEKS to get that pose RIGHT. I BLED SO MUCH#OHH AND GUNS???COWBOYHATS?? HIS GAY LIL JACKET? W THE DANGLIES?? AGOONYYY IT TOOK SO LONG TO PERFECT IT..especialy guns. OUUUHH#i also dont draw mustaches enough... which sucks bc im weak for a good mustache... BUT i think im doing pretty well on that.#it was hard but yknow what!! i think i did good! i rly like how this all turned out!! EXCEPT FOR THA FUCKIN RIBBON BOW THING I FORGOT TODRA#IN THE TOP RIGHT... THAT I JSUT NOTICED...its fine its fine i dont care that much. this is good enough to FEAST upon so im content n happy.#anyway i gotta leave ina few hours to start TRAINING for my NEW JOB!! CHEER FOR ME!! TRUCK IS A BLACKJACK DEALER NOW!! IEAAAHHH BABYYYY!!!!#thanku for reading my weird lil scrolls i bury beneath my posts. if u leave tags i WILL absorb them. and feel joy.
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moeblob · 9 months ago
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There was a post I saw about someone who mutually ghosted a guy after a date and kept matching with him and they're not interested but it's the longest "relationship" the person had been in at that point and I'm like. Karen would mutually ghost someone.
She doesn't really tell Brent/Right/Evelyn/Chris his name (he has a double first name, Patrick is not his last name) and just refers to him as "My Guy". Like "Ah damn, My Guy matched again. End my suffering." And when she tries to explain it to Right who does NOT understand how it's different, her logical answer is "it's my God given right to ghost a polite man!"
Also I just imagine her confiding in Paul about Rick and he's like "is his name Patrick" and she's like "kinda". And after that, Paul calls him "Pattycakes" cause he's never even seen the guy so why not give him a funny little nickname. He's allowed to do so at this point probably.
#my characters#also i just think it would be so funny to have him walk into the bar when karen and the boys are all there#and she sees him and is like OH MY GOD ITS MY GUY AND HE HAS A WOMAN WITH HIM I have to go congratulate him#and she jumps out of the booth to go say hi to him and the rest of her group is staring with wide eyes because whomst#and then her shoulders drop and the guy looks nervous and then karen is just gesturing to her group#and she walks him over and is like hey this is my guy and his cousin i hate my life#and then introduces rick to her friends/coworkers in the worst way ever like.... so lackluster#thats right and hes gay and pining and possibly dating#thats brent and hes pining and possibly dating#thats chris and he might have a divorce on his track record (HEY!) but we still love him#and thats paul the disaster bisexual currently pining#she sighs then points to the bar and goes AND I GUESS ILL INCLUDE the pining hot bartender in the introductions#everyone meet rick and his cousin and rick is like oh ! paul! hes your best friend!#cause he KNOWS that name from their ONE DATE that they both pretend didn't happen#and paul is just sunshine and flowers and beaming like oh ?? OH ??? KAREN? BESTIE? MY BEST FRIEND?#and she blushes and glares at rick because DOES THAT LOOK LIKE A FACE THAT CAN HANDLE COMPLIMENTS YOU JERK look what you did to him#and rick is v sorry and feels bad about it cause hes really just some random polite guy and thats why it would never work#hes too nice for karen and she CRAVES the teasing THE BANTER THE LANGUAGE and no hes just nice bye#so he leaves with his cousin to get some drinks and walks back over after hes done#and stares at paul as he says wow the bartender really is pining like you said in response to karen and paul wants to melt into his seat#therefore karen will forgive her guy for telling paul he was her best friend (its true tho) bc he made paul embarrassed#and he smiles at her and says bye and she just nods and is like yup talk to you next time we match#and its never romantic its always platonic#they are always going to match but its NEVER going to go beyond friends#though they do become friends and hang out eventually!#yes you can tell i thought about this A LOT on the drive#oops i fell in love
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araraito · 2 months ago
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Is it normal for a therapist to be like "Aww but you are so young and pretty, things can't be that bad :)"
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nectaric · 4 months ago
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i feel like i've said this before but i will reiterate because i need to. the reason i love the 'big six' so much (beyond adoring sibling dynamics in general) is because they fall victim to the curse so many siblings go through when their childhoods and parental situation aren't ideal - and then (in my hopes and dreams), they break that curse.
they are so close in their youth, bonded by war and horrors and forced to work together for sheer survival. but then the war ends and the trauma sinks in. they each do what they can to cope with the pain and the new world around them, but each of them fails in one way or another. some become angry. some lash out. some seclude themselves. they hurt each other, taking out their anger and fear on the people who understand best because that's just a little bit safer. their bonds begin to fall apart.
but then, because i choose to believe, they begin to heal. each of them on their own at first, in the ways they need to. but eventually, they come to forgive each other, relying again on their siblings because who better understands where they've come from and what they're going through than those who share their pain.
and they heal, and they bond, and they become close again. their relationships are hard earned, and tumultuous, and they are all guilty of some horrible things, and because that truth is shared, they can come back together. they can truly be a family.
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lemonandpie · 2 years ago
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Hmm I know this is weird for this character but I need to share this with someone
I love sunshine Dick, but I love it mostly because of the horror potential
He's ethereal, smells sweet, he's warm and kind and his smile is the sun after a long winter, but there's something about him that makes you feel in danger, like something wicked and non-human is looking at your soul
He's your older brother, the guy who gives you a good night kiss on your forehead, but the horrors lurking around Gotham fear him like he's something worse, like his ethereal face and gentle smile are a bait to attract his prey, again, he's your older brother, but also the eldritch under your bed
He's really a good person, a sweet little guy, but his vibe is a biblically acurate angel telling you B̶̮̹̓͆ë̷̩̰́̑ ̴͙̓̆n̴̛̖̥o̴̱̒ť̷̹̽ ̶͎̆a̴̮͘f̷͈͗͗ȑ̷̬͒a̶̺̗̕͝ȋ̴̍ͅḍ̵̀̌
Dick Grayson's vibe is like... okay, you know those scenes where the villain dies, and as he does, he sees the ethereally beautiful woman he has been comitting atrocities for? His eyes widen, and he even has tears in them, and he smiles so wide it's like his mouth is going to split open? And then just as the vision fades he meets a horrific demise? Dick is that moment in human form.
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wiltking · 2 years ago
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cissies victimizing themselves over reasonable backlash and critisism from trans viewers over playing/promoting the wizard game. cissies getting mad at 'cancel culture' following the ban of the boring ai generated 'comedy' show on twitch after it made a transphobic joke. when will it end. when will it end.
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linagram · 2 months ago
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some silly sketches that totally don't have any spoilers for the future voice dramas at all (also some araakio for the soul)
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musclesandhammering · 1 year ago
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Finally made it to the point where I can enjoy all the cool power scenes in Loki without giving a shit about the fuckass characterisation, and I gotta tell you it’s a peaceful place to be 😌
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gwdihw · 1 year ago
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I was putting off the finale of Foundation til the ✨ right moment ✨
and tell me why that show put me through the seven stages of grief in ONE FUCKING EPISODE
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autistic-katara · 1 year ago
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jesus christ rhat opinion is so stupid but its not that serious and i dint wanna argue rn
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kkeke99 · 7 months ago
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Enough time has passed now, so I can finally say with certainty that the only good MLs of the Jewelpet Series are Akira Nanase and Retsu Akagi 👍🏻
#jewelpet#jewelpet twinkle#jewelpet sunshine#jewelpet kira deco#jewelpet happiness#lady jewelpet#magical girls#txt#like— be so for fcking real????#all the ‘mls’ in there are like ‘i will always save you!’ meanwhile akira and retsu are like ‘i would k word for you’#AND THIS IS WHAT’S A MAN SHOULD BE ABOUT WHEN IT COMES TO HIS GIRLIE MIND YOU????#also yeah they’re all like… kids in there so IDK why sanrio put love interests for elementary/middle school kids 😭#but some mls (coff coff yuuma and mikage coff coff) just piss me tf off 💀#then again in jewelpet sunshine all the peoples are ANNOYING af because like… kanon… sweetie… WHY ARE YOU BEEFING WITH A BUNNY???? 😭#idk guys… maybe it’s cuz i’ve seen many shoujo anime read many shoujo manga and want my man obsessed with me like— i want him WEAK for me…#the other mls in the jewelpet series sometimes i think like ‘what… are you there… for??’#akira nanase PISSES ME TF OFF his personality is SHIT but the way he goes on about rinko??? he is a SIMP and i love that#and retsu??? retsu would literally roll a red carpet down the path pink walks on and that makes me HOLLER every single time guys 😭#like— once you see how akira and retsu treat rinko and pink… the other mls become just bland in there#yuuma mikage and cayenne give NOTHING to their series#they’re love interest just for the sake of having love interests#because akari and momona are better off alone tbh cause they genuinely are such BADDIES#they’re so cool that when you see their love interests you are like… ‘babygurl don’t settle for mediocre guys like that pls…’#like… akari and momona are the men in their ‘relationships’ 😭#don’t get me started on kanon and mikage like— wHY ARE YOU CRUSHING ON YOUR TWIN BROTHER???? AND WHY IS HE CRUSHING ON A BUNNY?????#thank god they broke up after finding out they were related (THANK YOU GOD!) but now why is he head over heels ROMANTICALLY over a bunny???#aside from all these weird shit the plot wasn’t interesting at all and gave… well… nothing…#anyways!! akari and momona deserve better men for real 🫤#or sanrio could’ve left them single yknow…? we wouldn’t have even noticed pft#these are controversial and unpopular opinions among the jewelpet series fandoms… but i just had to get them out of my chest phew
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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#hhhhh i just wanna lay in bed watching movies all day. i need some sort of wizard to turn me into a salamander so i dont have to do my job#it takes me all day to relax and for what? its Sunday and i have to grade at e#least 45 lab reports and make a presentation about photosynthesis so i can teach tomorrow so that i can barely tread water#im so behind on grading. and thats not to mention all the other bullshit i should b doing. ugh. i just wanna not do anything#i got covid vaccinated yesterday so im kinda exhausted on top of preexisting exhaustion. anf i would like my problems to stop existing#also i forgot how annoying it is to live in a place with mice. like stop scurrying around in my walls! stop trying to make mouse holes#dont make me murder u bc i will. ill buy mouse traps and thdn youll b sorry#but id rather not do that bc itll b annoying to check the traps and dispose of the bodies. bleh#i just wanna watch surreal movies abt self destruction and cosmic horror#so annihilation and maybe sunshine bc i havent watched it and oh god whats that polish movie uuuuuh#i can't remember. it starts with s i think but all i can think is susperia which is not correct. solaris? i cant remember if i watched#it or just read thr book. idk i like surreal slightly pretentious movies. under the skin is another i lov#god. i dont wanna get up. i still only got 7hrs sleep. i just wanna lay here and decompose#fuck. i have so much to write for Wednesday. and i think i have to share a paper Friday. fuck.#unrelated
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astronomical-bagel · 2 years ago
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you ever see a video of a cat playing in the sunshine on some warm concrete and get so jealous that you start crying?
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zukkaoru · 2 years ago
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it's all "must a book have a plot? is it not enough to just write about vibes?" until nathaniel hawthorne writes a 300+ page novel based entirely on haunted house vibes. then it's suddenly "too long winded" and "nothing happens" and he "took 300 pages to say something that could have been said in 40"
#/hj#is this the best novel i've ever read? absolutely not oh my god he goes on and on about philosophy and his paragraphs are SO LONG#but listen. it's about the vibes. it's about the haunted house. it's about the generational curse and is it actually a curse? who knows!#it's about the mystery of whether or not something supernatural is happening or if everything has an explanation#it's about the cyclical tragedy and characters both doomed by the narrative and haunting the narrative#it's about how dwelling forever on what could have been will prevent you from moving forward#it's about how you shouldn't judge someone based on appearance#it's about how the end of your life is only the beginning of your legacy and YOU get to decide if you will be simply repeating the actions#of your ancestors. or if you are going to be the one who finally breaks the chain and says NO. this is wrong and i won't stand for it#it's about choosing which family you hold onto and which family you distance yourself from#it's about the fact that alice deserved better and hepzibah's loyalty deserves recognition and phoebe might give everyone sunshine#but she should learn to keep some of it for herself too#it's about the fact that hawthorne takes 300 pages to say:#our property and every physical thing we have in this life will not follow us and we should not live our lives according to the whims dead#men left in their wake. but it does no one any good if we erase the past entirely#you just have to be willing to see it#SORRY APPARENTLY I HAVE. A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THIS BOOK LOL#hello grace here
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mushroom-for-art · 2 years ago
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Nvm we're back to movie au because I'm feeling soft featuring obviously our fav @oogaboogaspookyman horrid little bastard who is no longer a horrid bastard but is now a well mannered British little bastard beloved we love the difference
Accident
It happened very quickly. An incorrectly secured light fixture crashed down onto set smashing and destroying the background pieces scattering glass everywhere and set alight. The fire spread beginning to burn all the props due to the paint that was used, background pieces set alight in a blink, it crawled up the background canvases and spread across the rafters, the lights cracking fizzling out with loud bangs sending the building into darkness and panic.
A support beam collapsed over a fire escape as employees screamed and panicked they ran around coughing desperate for an exit one of them grabbed a fire extinguisher to put out the source but was grabbed by the monochrome Mewtwo who snarled about it being an electrical fire from the light you idiot. May coughed her lungs becoming tight as she looked around with difficulty through the quickly gathering smoke and smog, she was in a panic stuck to the spot. She could see her brother lying on the floor, his head was bleeding. He'd been knocked out as a dark Mewtwo stood over him trying to get the debris off of him.
Screams of panic ringed in her ears making her head throb, why weren't the sprinklers turning on? Oh god were they going to die in here? Burn alive due to inadequate safety measures. There were so many people and pokemon here too many lives that'd be too much death. Coughing screaming yelling panic. More people were collapsing or lying down to escape the smoke for air as it filled up the room heavily weighing down on them all. She couldn't let everyone in here die!
The monochromatic Mewtwo felt the tingling of psychic energy in his fingertips like electricity and before he could yell at May ask what the hell she was doing- he was outside. They were all outside. He spun on the spot levitating slightly looking around in a frenzy, the building crackled and the fire raged on. Everyone was out. No. Not everyone.
"May!"
He yelled quickly flying overhead scanning through the crowd of people that had been teleported out the building he flew down towards her manager, the odd dark hued mewtwo with crystals embedded in her body.
"Wheres May?!"
He half asked half demanded as the Two tended to Matts injuries.
"Is she not out here? I saw her eyes glowing?" She asked shushing Matt who groaned and pushed him down gently when he tried to sit up groggily asking where his sister was.
"If she was out here I wouldn't be asking where she was!"
The frustrated monochrome two snarled at her before looking back at the building in growing horror as he heard a loud creak realizing that she was still inside and hadn't been able to get out.
Without really thinking he flew rapidly at the building, being a ghost had its advantages as he phased through the wall keeping an incorporeal state to avoid the effects of smoke as he looked around frantically. The building was thick with black billowing smoke that rolled in waves blocking his view. He couldn't use psychic to move it as it had nowhere to go and it could shove air into the fire. He frantically scanned around, focusing to sense her aura.
In his altered vision he spotted a faint orange glow that began to flicker and falter weakening and quickly flew towards it, she was on the floor passed out either from smoke inhalation or exhaustion from teleporting that many people out of a building with her already weak powers or both. He became corporeal and coughed against the smoke and the horrible heat as he wrapped his arms under hers to haul her up to carry her.
"I'm not letting you die here you blithering idiot,"
He chastised as he pulled her up attempting to hold her and realizing she was heavy as dead weight and the growing smoke in his lungs was weakening his strength, not to mention the flames were creeping in starting to stretch out and lick at his tail and legs in a way that would likely burn. He snorted frustrated, he pulled her up, arms wrapping around her waist as she made a soft mumble noise.
He realized that flames were closing in, his eyes were watering from smoke and heat as he coughed, he could become ghostly while he had the strength but then he wouldn't be able to interact with her, he could save himself but he wouldn't! He wouldn't just let her die here and save his own skin. He hissed as a flame splashed against him snarling towards it before coughing, breathing becoming harder. He heard another long drawn out creak, and a snap, and a fall. Another support beam came falling down right on top of them, he dropped to a crouch holding his body over hers desperate to summon any strength left into a barrier or any kind of protection.
Another crash could be heard from the building, it took multiple staff members and Pokemon to hold back Matt and Darkness, Matt screamed and yelled profanities at them telling, no, demanding them to let him go because his sister was in there. Darkness also shouted at them to see sense that both the mewtwo in that building inch closer to death every second they waste stopping them. They both went quiet as a large flame burst out from the roof of the building with a loud BOOM.
Matt crumbled in the grip of the people restraining him, falling to his knees as he began to sob in despair and pain. Darkness could only stare forward at the raging flames and thick smoke.
It took hours for the fire department to put the flames out, they were aggressive and unrelenting and the thick smoke meant the trained personnel needed to swap out to a safe distance to regain their breath. When the fire finally dimmed to a manageable flicker it was growing dark, the fire had started in the afternoon…
Search and rescue began their job and once more Darkness was restrained, she wasn't trained like they were, they knew how to move rubble without causing it to collapse elsewhere potentially crushing any survivors, she did not. She could only watch in frustration as they slowly methodically did their job. She'd refused care due to her wounds already healing from the synergy energy, Matt had to be given light sedatives for his aggression so he was more, agreeable, about being taken away to be seen for his head injury and assorted burns.
A Gurdurr and Medicham worked together, the Medicham scanning the surroundings with psychic energy to get a mental blueprint of the chaos and carefully instructing Gurdurr on which parts to lift to safely deconstruct the wreckage without causing it to collapse. The Gurdurr carefully threw aside a large ceiling concrete slab before vocalizing to the Medicham. A swirling white and black dome like shape sat planted into the ground with debris piled on top of it. The Medicham vocalized to the other pairs to come help as they began to remove the debris, the human supervisors coming along too, as the broken building was removed the dome seemed to reduce in opacity becoming semi see through.
Inside May and the monochromatic Mewtwo clung to one another desperately, his eyes were shut with dark psychic energy pouring out from the sides of his closed eyes waving and flowing out. May's eyes were wide open but unseeing, completely whitened over and glowing faintly with her psychic energy. Neither of them seemed aware of the situation both just clinging as the dark and white psychic energy protecting them both swirled around them both desperately wanting to protect the other, forming one rather indestructible long lasting protect.
When the last piece of debris was safely removed one of the human search and rescue members gently knocked their knuckles against the very dense protect dome, "can you two hear us?" May's eyes faltered into half lids her psychic energy sparking and fading from her eyes and the dome, she blinked slowly and blinked again before slumping completely limp in the monochrome ones arms as her grip slipped from him, his eyes opened in a start the dark psychic energy overflowing from his eyes darkening the dome over as he snarled before he blinked realizing that it was help. His psychic energy gently blew away in a breeze before he shivered at the cold.
The psychic search and rescue members lifted May's unconscious body onto a stretcher to be taken to an ambulance while the people attempted to look the monochromatic one over. He shoved them away flying up and wobbling slightly in tiredness but followed them into the ambulance taking up the relative seat in the ambulance next to May as they began trying to help her much to Darkness' frustration at the audacity. He slapped away attempts to look him over, snarling at the ambulance worker to focus on the unconscious one, not him.
——————————————————————
The monochrome ones' leg bounced irritated and frustrated as he sat in a chair next to the orange hued Mewtwos hospital bed. He'd been forcefully seen to, so his wounds were bandaged up and he'd been given oxygen and instructions to not go near lung irritants and just to take cough drops for his throat and rest and get sleep. However sleep he would not do, he'd been up all night besides her having left his own bed watching over her in her room, her smoke inhalation had been worse than his as was her burns, she had a breathing mask on to help ensure she got enough oxygen which also acted as a filter that helped remove the lingering smoke in her lungs with each exhale. He'd dragged a night nurse into the room in a panic when he noticed her condition becoming worse, her over exhaustion leading to sickness and a fever so she'd been put on some drip fluids too due to how weakened she was from over exerting herself with her powers.
He'd paced the room multiple times, aggressively straightening the curtains to ensure no moonlight crept in and disturbed her, made sure the blanket properly covered her and tucked her in, fluffed her cushion, checked her medical sheet and that she was hooked up properly multiple times. As of right now he was gently holding her wrist, his fingers pressing faintly to feel her pulse, just to be sure the machines were correct that's all. He sighed softly hanging his head as his leg bounced, the TV in the room mumbled nonsense that he couldn't make out as he was actively ignoring it, especially as it was talking about the fire, his fingers moved down her wrist brushing over her palm hesitantly choosing to rest his two main fingers in her palm pressing them against her hand and squeezing with his thumb at the back of her hand, an unsure hand squeeze without committing to a full hand hold.
He was beginning to grow frustrated ready to aggressively sort her room out again when her thumb twitched and the best it could, squeezed his fingers against her palm. He looked up to see her eyes barely open as if her eyelids were incredibly heavy which they probably were for her.
"Who's getting sued…?" Her voice was incredibly small and croaked before she coughed realizing she definitely shouldn't have spoken. He panicked slightly moving his hand and getting a glass of water for her saying gently,
"hey hey easy,"
He carefully adjusted her bed position so it slowly lifted her into a slanted sitting position not perfectly upright just so she'd still be resting and comfortable, he carefully helped pull back the breathing mask and held the glass to her lips with psychic encouraging her to take small sips less she start coughing again, refusing to move his hand from where it gently half held hers.
When she'd drank about half he put it down and replaced the mask as she breathed and smiled at him, her hand shifted and squeezed his properly holding it, "if you wanted to hold hands you could've asked, didn't need to burn a building down." She made a soft laugh as she squeezed his hand again, her usual cheery joking self despite what happened.
His mouth opened slightly and shut in surprise both at the fact they were now just squeezing each others hands and that was embarrassing and also the accusation though empty.
"I'll burn this whole goddamn building down,"
He chuntered unhappily before pausing and looking back at May.
"Hold on, no, you do not get to get out of this so easy by joking around, what the hell were you thinking?! You could've died?! Why didn't you teleport yourself out with everybody else!"
Admittedly his tone was a lot harsher than he'd meant it to be as May stared at him in surprise before her eyes looked away from him.
"I'm, sorry, I wasn't really, thinking about saving me, just that I couldn't let everyone else die. And even then you still got hurt," her voice was soft and guilty.
The monochrome one stared at her a bit before looking away he went to open his mouth to speak.
"Wait, where's Matt? Is he okay?! I saw his head bleeding? Did he get help?!" May tried to sit herself up and he gently but firmly pushed her back down.
"Your brother is fine he's in another room getting spoiled by some male nurses, now would you STOP thinking about everybody else and fucking think about yourself in this?! You have horrid burns, you inhaled so much smoke and you got a feverish sickness because your body was so weak and overworked! What if I hadn't found you or realized you weren't outside with us?! There's a very real chance you could've died in that fire! I could've- we. We could have lost you. And you have a lot of people who care about you. So why don't you?"
May gripped the bed sheets uncomfortably as she sat there again avoiding his gaze as his eyes softened and he frowned at her. She shrugged uncomfortably and he could see her struggling for the words and the anxiety prickling inside her. He gently squeezed her hand waiting to give her a fair chance to answer.
"....I just don't find that there's much to care about.." Her voice was riddled with guilt as she struggled, "I know, well just, I know compared to a lot of others that I'm, different." She moved her spare hand vaguely, "and, that, made it hard to connect to people, and as well I'm weak, I mean a mewtwo who can't even use her powers properly for herself, pft. Don't have much going for me overall. I know I'm, loud and optimistic and seem confident and sure but, I don't really like myself. Not really. I don't know. Maybe some horrid self pitying self obsessed part of myself believed I didn't really deserve to be saved like everyone else so that's why I wasn't teleported out too, and I guess maybe that self absorbed part of me went well look at that now we can't do anything because you used up all your strength and you're going to let yourself die because you're so pitiful and weak just to what make a point." She shrugged awkwardly, grabbing at her shoulder, "you got hurt because overall I'm a bad person, too obsessed with myself, I mean I'm a lot luckier than other people. I'm much better off than other people and yet here I am feeling sorry for myself and not liking myself. How selfish is that?" She squeezed her own shoulder to self soothe as the guilt began to creep in. "God I'm sorry, I shouldn't have dumped all that on you, here I am again being the biggest selfish, no, no I'm sorry I'm, spiralling you don't need to hear me insult myself because that just manipulates you into having to pity me and tell me it's fine and it's okay when it's not an-"
He moved the mask using his free hand to put a finger on her lips to stop her spiral rambling as he frowned at her softly.
"I don't think you're selfish, I don't think you're physically capable of being selfish, mostly because of your lack of healthy boundaries, but also because you're a good person and sharing and being kind is part of your nature. You're not a bad person for being unhappy even if you think you should be. You're more complex than just the happy May you always are with people."
He moved his finger but pointed threateningly when she opened her mouth.
"No shut up, I'm still talking. You know how I know that you're a good person even when that voice of doubt tells you you're wrong? Do you remember how we first met?"
May blinked but nodded, opening her mouth before being shushed again.
"Shut."
She smiled playfully, closing her mouth to listen.
"You came right up to me when I was lurking in the background with your drink and two brownies from the food table and you smiled at me and introduced yourself right to me, you said you were absolutely over the moon to meet and be working with me, that you'd seen my other shows upon learning we'd be coworkers and that you thought I was really talented and amazing. I know back then I just stared at you as you offered my one of the brownies you'd taken saying you got me one since I was so far away, you know why I was staring? Because you were the first person I've ever worked with to walk right up to me and introduce themselves with unfaltering kindness and warmth."
He glanced away as he spoke.
"The reason I was so far away is because a lot of the time everyone on set that I'm working with is absolutely terrified of me, which I get, it's the eyes I think. But you didn't seem afraid at all."
He looked back at her.
"You have probably brightened so many peoples' days by existing, and I know that voice probably tells you that you're different or weak or secretly evil or whatever insults and feelings you've internalized, but you bring out so much kindness to everyone no matter what."
May squeezed his hand unsure of how to even respond, mouth opening and closing as she struggled. His other hand came to hold hers squeezing her one hand with both of his.
"When you're better, I think we should look into some therapy for you because if you couldn't teleport out because a part of you believes you didn't deserve to be okay then I am really deeply concerned about that because I never want you in that situation again okay?"
May nodded softly as he squeezed her hands again softly confirming an "okay." He smiled softly at her as he gently put his forehead to her hand that he still held.
"You're a big sweetheart ya know, even if you are a horrid drink stealer" May softly spoke and he chuckled knowing she was deflecting slightly now with humor as she usually did from heavier topics but clearly speaking fondly of him.
"Hmm. Just don't go telling anybody."
"I won't." She squeezed his hands the best she could. "I think you're real great too you know, I'm glad you're in my life you do make it better." And he smiled softly to himself.
#I could've-we. We could've lost you#I'm not letting you die here#My writing#Mewtwosona May#@oogaboogaspookymans ???#@oogaboogaspookyman oc#Tw fire#I gave them loreeeee I gave them back storyyyy oh noo I'm soft they're soft the joke ship thoughts they're getting me AAAHH#I am dragged away into the ocean lmao#??? Is big soft on May. That's HIS little ray of sunshine thank you very much she gave him brownie#Also May honey are u okay (she is not)#May is the kind of character who seems fine happy perky friendly optimistic loud joyful and she absolutely hates herself#Like I mean working in movie biz probably does that to you but also the autism coding and the powerlessness#To some degree yes the self loathing hatred of I don't deserve saving their lives are more important/god you self important self pitying#Self sacrificing proving a point cause you're the WORST horrid voices did contribute to her inability to escape#But also she was heavily prioritising everyone else and drained probably all her PP in teleport#Like everything she does is mentally criticised by herself because actually you're just faking everything. Bitch.#Baby girl that is called the mental illness#??? Like plz get therapy holy shit I'm worried about you#And also 👀🤔🤨 kinda sus#And waiting around at her bedside? Sus lmao#He CARES he has a lot of care in him lmao likes this person a lot#Also deflects with humor a mood#Originally Matt was meant to attempt to get in the room and ??? Was gon slam the door shut and lock it because no he's not sharing May yet#And May was gonna jokingly call him an overprotective husband like aw my hubby has spoken he's so protective lmao while he's like shshshh#Also lmao I love that movie?? Gets the dialogue like font change but not the bold XD it's my way of differentiating only bad boys get bold#Also!! He cares so much I'm screaming#Fungal Spooks Studio
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