#just a doodle i did instead of sleeping
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lalalalalalakakakak · 6 months ago
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Vox are you overcompensating for something?
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bigfootsmom · 16 days ago
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Why stop at only one boyfriend? Why not s’more?
my commission info
my kofi
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themulitipurposechannel · 1 month ago
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Life’s been pretty busy so behold Ma bois XD
In a rare traditional art 😂
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puppyeared · 1 year ago
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ive made myself more wet and pathetic
#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL#its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed#because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH#how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would#be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing#or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late#i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed#the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either#because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember#the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either#the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with#crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure#BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION#im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real#really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and#thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT#you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without#making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY#yapping#doodles#puppysona#edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule#and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened
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dolly-spit · 5 months ago
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doodle dump brought to you by my involuntary sleep deprivation :v
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sysig · 1 year ago
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Requestober is closed for the season! Thanks to everyone who participated ♥
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sprinklethetangerine · 10 months ago
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:(
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lilacstro · 6 months ago
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Astro Observations pt 2
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1.If you have sun conjunct ascendant//sun in 10th house, people might really see who you really are or your real personality maybe visible to people you choose to interact with.
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2. People who's sun and mercury match, they more than most of the time, say what they really mean
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3. People who have Sag sun/stellium usually have a strong liking for some kind of mainstream media, like kpop? football? bollywood?
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4. The sign of your fifth house can influence how you like spending your leisure time. Example:
Capricorn 5th house might like cleaning as a form of relaxing or spending their free time
Leo 5th house might want entertainment or hanging out with a group of friends, social circles
Gemini 5th house might like scrolling the internet or talking about their favourite shows and dramas
Pisces 5th house might like day dreaming or doodling or creative working
Libra 5th house might put make up on just because, or doing a whole self care routine
Taurus 5th house might just lay in bed and sleep? lol maybe cook something or play some instrument if they please.
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5. Jupiter is said to expand. People who may have sun conjunct Jupiter may have huge sense of self or awareness of identity, which is really good in a world where people try to tell you who you are. However, this needs to be checked so it does not turn into a huge ego
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6. Sagittarius women could really like dancing
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7. 8th house stellium could deal with sleep paralysis or insomnia or some kind of mental health related problem at some point in their life for sure
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8. 12th house stelliums could really like day dreaming a lot
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9. Most Libra people I have met are usually already well liked regardless of anything. and the ones that aren't, really care about being liked by people.
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10. Speaking of this, most libra placements, esp suns, may really be gossiped about or do gossips.
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11. Sagittarius placements (sun and rising esp) always have something going on with their teeth. Its either crooked, it may have had an injury and even if its perfect, they might be a little insecure about it at least for a brief period in their life
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12. Neptune in 7th house could mean the native has kind of like imaginary ideals about their partner. It could also be that they "like the idea of someone more than the person" or straight up like imaginary characters as ideals
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13. Sag mercury women usually are very vocal. May advocate for things like unequal rights, feminism, maybe the first one to speak. tbh sag mercuries overall are the types to take part in global challenges and really take time out to think about it seriously.
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14. Sun in 8th house is a mysterious placement. Sun in 8th house won't reveal themselves to you. To be fairly honest, growing up their personality goes through a lot of transformation before they finally get to even know themselves and who they are. They could also be very introspective if not self aware
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15. while Moon in 8th house natives are usually said that they won't reveal their true emotions, I'd say that's subjective since they are actually "aware" of their feelings on a deep level. This depends on the sign and degree of the moon imo. However, they may instead absolutely illusion you into thinking "you know everything about them" lol. Also, they could eventually get very emotionally intelligent in their lives with time. They may also never fully reveal their past to someone.
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16. Moon in 8th house can have two moods. I know this will happen. See this happened. OR I know EXACTLY why this did not happen lol. Very intuitive.
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17. Moon in Gemini degrees can indicate being able to verbalize and intellectualize emotions better than most people. While Moon in Aquarius or Capricorn may suggest otherwise.
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18. Idk how but most Aquarius people I have seen have either of these two things. Being extremely different than most people (in a good or bad way) in some way or the other, a different thinking than most. OR, being really really good with Internet related stuff, like maybe freelance? Digital Media? Social Media?
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19. Venus/Sun/Moon in virgos will get you the small thing you mentioned in a random seemingly unimportant conversation for your birthday gift.
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20. A placement that makes me think of "attractive personality" is Venus in harmonious aspects with mercury.
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21. Mars in 5th house/1st house are said to be automatically physically active or athletic. While this maybe true, mars or any other planet at a weak degree or Mars in Earth signs may not manifest that way, even though it may seem otherwise.
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22. I think mercury in 11th house is an OG placement for over thinkers or the people who are thinking how would it feel to get married while riding the car/train and looking outside, or being constantly in their head the second they woke up.
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23. " I am so stupid in love"- Pisces, Cancer placements.
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24. Neptune in 3rd/11th house placements could have a social media or chronically online addiction.
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25. Sun in 1st house in SR can indicate getting a sense of identity and purpose and moreover finding yourself again
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26. Uranus in 12th house in SR can indicate a change/transformation in old belief systems and thoughts
support me on ko-fi :)
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Well, I am thinking of making proper dedicated posts now instead of random notes like that. What suggestions do you have? I would loveee to know.
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bluefunkybeats · 3 months ago
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ZAYNE DOMESTIC HEADCANONS
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~ PART 2
cw: suggestive below cut!!!
Zayne who, when he doesn’t want to read research articles to get you asleep- due to how monotonous and tedious they get- instead reads ‘The Little Prince’ to you. Sometimes to tease you he turns the book and points to the picture like he’s reading it to a little kid or something. If you react with a warning paw to his arm he’ll respond with a breathy chuckle.
Zayne who always steals a sip of your drink with your straw when you’re out on a lunch date. Will tell you that a variety of liquids is good for the diet if you call him out.
Zayne who responds to the doodles you make on the calendar hung on his kitchen wall with his own snowman doodles. You can tell there’s a lot of love behind them but certainly also a lazily held pen (which you’ll allow since he does these very early in the morning before work). Other times he’ll just respond with comments like “oh really?” to the nonsense you write and graffiti on that thing.
Zayne who enjoys all kinds of sweet cold treats but always has some classic Magnum ice creams in his freezer drawer because it’s a reliable choice. He can’t nag you and will just give a touché happy sigh about any sort of snacks you store next to his beloved Magnums: it’s your checkmate.
Zayne who has a small potted plant in the desk of his office. He’s never really went too long without watering it, but ever since you’ve put a plant poke with a cute little character to give company to his plant, he’s never been more motivated to water it. It certainly adds a bit of you to his space, and he has the habit of stroking the little plant’s leaves in caress when he thinks of you during work.
Zayne who packs your bag for uni or work if he knows you’ll be too busy to attend to it until the morning or if you’ve dozed off already.
Zayne who readjusts your sleeping positions with the most gentle hands, otherwise he can’t be soothed to continue doing anything else. He gets prickles on his back just to think about you waking up with a hurting back.
Zayne who feels contentment he can’t describe when he slides his closet door open and opens the shallow little accessory drawer, and finds your jewellery in a specialised velvet tray and his prescription glasses on the other end.
Zayne who because of you, has a little egg timer resemblant of a chicken to help out when he cooks. He used to just use alarms on his phone, but ever since your silly little gift, he won’t use anything else. The first thing he did when he found the incongruous little chicken character was ask if you if it had a name.
Zayne who picked up your little habit of storing socks as little balls. When you’re both sat on the bed balling up his and your socks, he’ll grab one like a snowball and boop it to the side of your cheek.
Zayne who when he sees you really sluggish coming out the shower, will get you dressed and have you sit cross-legged on the edge of the bed mattress as he stands and dries your hair with the hairdryer.
Zayne who once put your soiled slippers in the washing machine while you slept before leaving for work in a really early dark winter morning. He kissed your hand and jotted down a little note on the bedside table for you to use his slippers instead, which were faced outwards from where you’d naturally put your feet to get up from bed.
Zayne who has a regime with you of cutting and peeling fruits for each other back and forth. Once outdid you by making his orange to you look like a water lily, knowing and having schemed that you couldn’t do anything more creative. The bastard. All your oranges from henceforth were like that, to rub it in your face with the excuse of vitamin D. Yeah right. You’ll get him.
Zayne who involuntarily (or voluntarily, who knows) flusters you when removing your underwear from the plastic peg rack. Upon meeting your dazzled face, holds the cloth almost touching the side of his cheek.“Should I not take this garment to face value?”
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chuulyssa · 7 months ago
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​🇭​​ 🇴 ​​🇲 ​​🇪​​ 🇼​​ 🇴 ​​🇷 ​​🇰​ .
ʟɪɢʜᴛ ʏᴀɢᴀᴍɪ !
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↷ A/N ─ the long-awaited full ver of this drabble is here! will proofread this tomorrow oml it's 3am here again
★ COUNT ─ 1.3k
!! TAGS ─ light x reader, pre-kira!light, gn!reader, oral (m receiving), deep throating, slight (?) exhibitionism
★ PROLOGUE ─ giving your boyfriend head under the desk while he studies
SMUT, 18+, MDNI
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The two of you were walking back home after school, neither of you speaking a word as you went on in silence. It was like a silent agreement that you would go to his house today instead of yours. After all, pissed as you were, academic stress did not help in uplifting your mood. Luckily, you knew just the way to relieve your worries while also getting your assignments done - and so did Light.
"Hello, dear," his mother greeted you warmly. "I assume he's tutoring you again? I sure hope he isn't too harsh on you."
"It's alright, Mrs Yagami," you smiled back at her, inwardly elated at the fact that some day the title you called her would belong to you.
"I don't understand, dear," she continued, "why do you need tutions from him in the first place? I mean, you do quite well as it is."
"I don't mind it," Light interrupted her before going up to his room.
You took off your shoes and shot her another kind smile before following your boyfriend. Behind you, you could hear Mrs Yagami mumble, "Kids these days."
The door shut behind you. Light immediately kept his bag in a corner and sat down on his chair. You looked at him with a bored expression.
"Already? You're not taking the 'tutoring' part seriously, now, are you?"
"Well, I have to," he said, taking out his Maths notebook and pen. "Your mother-in-law has entrusted me with this task."
You rolled your eyes.
"I don't study."
"I do," he shrugged. "And so, you must too."
"Nah," you flopped on his bed in a starfish position. "I'm going to catch some sleep."
"No, you aren't," Light said firmly and got up to hold you by your arms. He dragged you towards the table, pulling out a chair for you to sit near the desk so that you could keep up with his lessons.
"I'm not studying with you," you scoffed.
Light stared at you for some time before muttering, "Fine. You know what? Fine. Go to hell."
You chuckled and he shot you a petty glare. Opening his notebook, he started solving questions rapidly, not sparing you even a single glance and pretending as if you were as good as part of the wall.
You sat there doodling on a spare book you found. Your chin was on the table, and you were rethinking your decision to come to his house. With a sigh, you realized that you'd have been sleeping soundly in your cozy bed right now had you gone to your own house.
After a few minutes, you saw Light's pen slow down a little and an irritable look on his face.
"Y/N, look, if you can't make yourself useful, then you might as well go home. Seriously."
"What?"
"I said go home."
You blinked in confusion. Useful? Like how? You looked out of the window thinking of excuses to stay in his room. It may not have occurred to you then, but you really did want to stay in his company after all.
And then you got a brilliant idea. Of course! It'd help both you and him destress, and probably leave him flustered enough to do your homework as well. You could-
"Give you a blowjob," you repeated your suggestion to him while he looked at you with wide eyes.
"...Y/N-"
But you cut him off by pushing the chair you were sitting on away and dropping to your knees. He looked at you with a bewildered expression as you fumbled with his belt, desperate to free his obviously strained erection.
"Really, now?" you said in a mocking tone. "Already? I didn't even do anything yet!"
"Well, if you're gonna sit there looking like that, this is bound to happen."
"You could've been subtle about it though," you pushed the chair away to get a clear view and comfortable access to his cock.
"Wait, you're serious about this?"
"Um, yeah?"
"But what if someone heard us?" He protested. "My parents are down there. Heck, Sayu is down there! This is not a sound proof room, we're gonna get c- ah!"
You cut him off with a little lick to the top of his cock. With your right hand you gripped his base and lowered yourself to him.
"Say it again," you said with an amused smile on your face, lips pressed against his dick. "Let me hear your pretty voice."
He was silent for a moment. Then, he slowly reached out to dig his fingers inside your hair giving you the consent you were looking for.
"Thats a good boy," you whispered, making him shiver as your warm breath breezed his cock.
Your grip on his dick tightened ever so slightly as you got ready to suck him. His fingers were tangled in your hair while his other hand tried it's best to solve the math equations for his assignments.
You licked the tip again. Light's hips jerked upwards but you pushed him down with all your might.
"Stop teasing," he breathed, looking away as if to hide his fluster.
You rolled your eyes before finally taking him, inch by inch, inside your mouth. You felt your lips stretching to accommodate his thick dick. It was an uncomfortable experience, but the little grunts that escaped your boyfriend made it worth the pain.
As your lips hit his base, you felt your saliva drooling over his cock, and immediately lifted your head back up, just to take him entirely again.
Light groaned. You tried to smile, but your work was more important. You bobbed your head up and down his dick, occasionally tracing his balls with the tips of your fingers.
"Oh god, no, what if someone sees us," Light said between moans of pleasure. "But, baby, please don't stop now."
You lifted your head completely to look him in the eye. He whined at the lost contact, and tried to push you back.
"Did you lock the door?" You said with an annoyed huff.
"Fuck, no, let me-"
You gave his dick a few pumps to stop him.
"Too late now. I guess everyone's watching Light Yagami groan and come all over his study table."
Light widened his eyes, which was a struggle considering your soft hands manipulating his movements.
You laughed at his pathetic state before taking him in again. You bobbed your head up and down, tapping his inner thigh in a rhythm.
Under your touch, meanwhile, Light was a whimpering, moaning mess. One hand was still in your hair while the other hand completely abandoned his futile efforts of doing his assignment and now lay scratching his table.
"Oh, oh god, oh fuck, yout ake me in so well," he threw his head back with pleasure. "More, more. God, i think I'm coming already."
At this, you gave him a smug look and pushed your head down on his cock until it hit your throat. Your eyes watered, but you didn't let it ruin the moment. Light almost let out a loud cry, both his hands attempting to muffle his voice as if on cue.
You choked and gagged, while he groaned and kicked his legs in the air.
"Fuck, fuck, shit, shit, I'm coming."
Your nails dug into his thighs to form crescent moons as he emptied his cum into your throat, careful not to let any of it spill on the ground or on the chair - anywhere his mom or sister could examine and catch him red handed. After making sure to take all of it in, you finally lifted your head up, licking his entire dick in one, long stroke before licking your lips and winking at him.
Light groaned at the smirk on your face.
"You're such a bad influence. Bad influence on the perfect Light Yagami."
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tagging: @zharickmedrano
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© chuulyssa 2024 - do not copy, plagiarize or repost my works on any platforms. do not translate.
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tibby-art · 5 months ago
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i am straight up on my hands and knees BEGGING for more hitman au
crazy that you mention that actually because i did write another snippet a little while ago.. here’s a doodle i did to accompany it + the writing under the cut
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=+=
Grian gazed out the window of the bus, soaking in the quiet evening of the city. It had been some time since he was out in public like this, since he had felt like a normal citizen going about her daily buisness. It was nice to be outside the NHO headquarters for once, free to do what she pleased. Well, sort of.
Grian wasn’t exactly free. He was allowed some free time out when there was no training, lab visits, or missions. However, she was only allowed outside the NHO with a bodyguard. Someone who could both protect him from the overstimulation of the outside world, as well as protect others from her… if he were to ever lose control of his powers, or something.
Yes, riding the bus with a former-criminal-turned-professional-hitman certainly made the whole experience feel less normal for Grian.
“It’s nice to take public transportation once in a while,” Scar mused, stretching his arms over his head. “Us vexes don’t get to do that much anymore, when we can just fly around wherever we need to go.”
“That must be so much better, though,” Grian pointed out. “You can fly wherever you want, and you don’t even have to pay the bus fare.”
“Let me tell you, Grian, flying can be so tiring,” Scar huffed. “Sometimes I’m so tired by the time we show up to a hit, we need to take a breather on the roof for a few minutes. The NHO should just let us have a car for the long missions, for goodness’ sake!”
Grian did a quick check of his surroundings. The bus was pretty empty this time of day, but she got no sense that any of the passengers were paying attention to Scar so casually talking about being a hitman. A brief tap into watcher vision didn’t show any movement from the passengers behind her, either.
“Cub’s in much better shape than me,” Scar rambled on. “Did you know that man was a professional basketball player once? Or was it golf…? Actually, I think it was both.”
The NHO didn’t deem it too urgent to send both their prized hitmen on Grian-watching duty, so Cub had stayed behind at the headquarters. Last time Grian had seen Cub, he was showing off a ring of keys to Scar, saying how he was going to get a lot of ‘research’ done that night.
“What are those keys for?” Grian asked.
“Don’t know yet,” Cub shrugged. “That’s part of the fun”.
“So… those aren’t your keys?”
Cub and Scar just grinned at her.
“….This is our stop,” Grian said.
The pair exited the bus. The Hermit City library stood before them.
“Library, huh?” Scar asked. “Do you have some overdue books from before you became a watcher or something?”
“Not so loud,” Grian scolded, glancing around a mostly empty city street. “But, no. Speaking of… that, I wanted to see if there were any books I could find on the subject.”
Scar raised an eyebrow. “Do you think a public library would have better information than what we have at the NHO?”
Grian shrugged. “It’s worth a shot.”
The library was pretty empty at this time of day. In fact, they probably closed in an hour or so. Grian had deliberately chosen a time of day where less people would be around, so that the trip was less overwhelming on his new senses. Scar had complained that he wasn’t a morning person, so they settled on the evening instead. Grian secretly was also glad she could sleep in a little.
“Geez, when’s the last time I’ve been in one of these?” Scar muttered, glancing at the countless shelves of books as they walked past.
“What, are you allergic to reading?” Grian teased.
“Well, I am dyslexic, so… sort of?”
Grian realized that for a trip to the library to do some research, she probably should have gotten Cub to come. The man literally has two science degrees, after all.
The two made their way to the front desk, where the librarian on duty appeared to be preoccupied… knitting a hand puppet of some kind?
“Well howdy there!” The librarian looked up from his work cheerfully. He had long, brown hair that was dyed neon green at the tips, matching perfectly with her pointed green glasses. “What can I help y’all with?”
“Uh, yes, um.” Grian tapped his fingers on the desk. “We were wondering if you had any books on Watchers, and where they might be?”
“Watchers, huh…” The librarian furrowed their brow. “Now that’s an obscure topic.” He swiveled his chair towards his computer to investigate further. Grian began to grow anxious with how obvious he felt they were being.
“I know, right?” Scar sighed, leaning on the desk casually. “It’s for some lame group project that’s like, a fourth of our final grade in the class.”
“Yikes! That sounds rough,” The librarian remarked as she typed on the computer. Grian tapped into his sixth sense and didn’t pick up on any feelings of suspicion from the librarian. Maybe bringing Scar was a good idea.
“Okay, well, most of these books that are coming up seem to be more on the… fantasy side,” The librarian explained after a moment of scrolling. “I know those guys are mythological beings, but you said you’re doing a research project, so I’m guessing you want something more factual…”
“Yeah, anything with information about where they came from, what they do, stuff like that.” Grian nodded. “Y’know, like if they were real.”
“Oh! Here’s something promising.” The librarian turned the monitor so that Grian and Scar could see. “This book right here seems to be a study of the tales of Watchers throughout history. Although… it looks like our only copy is checked out at the moment.”
“Really?” Grian asked. “By who?”
The librarian blinked. “Hm… y’know, I’m actually not sure if I’m supposed to like, give that information to people? Like, legally?”
“There’s another person in our group project, so we just want to know if they beat us to checking out this book,” Scar lied. “Communication in group projects, am I right?”
“Pff, yeah, that makes sense,” The librarian turned the computer back to face him. “It looks like this book is currently being borrowed by a Martyn. With a y! How fancy.”
“Ah, Martyn with a y, of course!” Scar exclaimed. “Well, now we know that Martyn has the book, right Grian?”
“Yup,” Grian agreed, mind racing.
“Hey, actually…” The librarian scrolled down on the computer some more. “You guys sure got the right person for this project. It looks like this Martyn fella has been checking this book out for a few months now?”
Grian’s eyes widened.
“Ohh, that Martyn,” Scar laughed. “Always getting the head start on things! Uh, did we need anything else, Grian?”
“Um…” Grian needed to think fast. Whoever this Martyn person was, he’s been checking the same book on Watchers out for months. Surely he has to know something about them. Grian had to speak to him. But how on earth were they going to find this person?
Grian focused on the back of the librarian’s computer monitor. For a brief moment, in her mind’s eye, he could see the content of computer screen, from the librarian’s eyes. There on the screen was a full name: Martyn Littlewood.
“Nope, that’s all,” Grian replied, blinking rapidly as he returned to his own vision.
“Great. Well, you two have a good one!” The librarian said cheerfully, and returned to their knitting.
Grian and Scar briskly made their way outside.
“Wow. So who’s this Martyn guy? I didn’t think anyone else cared about Watchers that much,” Scar began, turning to Grian. “Oh uh, Grian, you’ve got something there…” Scar pointed to his own nose, looking worried all of a sudden.
“Huh?” Grian wiped his nose on his sleeve instinctively, expecting snot. However, when he glanced at his arm he saw red.
“Ah.” At least her sweater was already red.
“What did you do in there?” Scar asked, his green eyes intense with a mix of curiosity and concern.
“I was able to get a better look at that computer, and see the guy’s last name,” Grian explained. “Martyn Littlewood. Whoever he is, he might have a ton of information about Watchers. I’ve got to find him and have a word with him.”
“Grian, you’re amazing!” Scar exclaimed, impressed. “Well, finding someone in this city should be easy enough for a Watcher.”
“Shush,” Grian glanced around the empty bus stop. “Or we could try, y’know, looking the name up online first…” Grian quickly pulled out her phone. “Ah. Found him.”
“What? You’re kidding.”
“Oh my god, Scar.”
“What?”
“Scar.” Grian held the phone out. “Martyn Littlewood is…”
“A youtuber?” Scar’s jaw dropped as he scrolled through the list of videos. “And he makes videos talking about-“
“Watchers.”
Scar stared at Grian, dumbfounded.
“Scar, I think we just found the world’s biggest, and perhaps only, Watcher fanatic,” Grian stated in disbelief. “And he lives right here in Hermit City.”
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wintfleur · 7 months ago
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Hiii! Could you do 🪷 “placing kisses on your lovers shoulder and nape as they are bent down, trying to focus on their work though they're very hot and bothered” for will smith
౨ৎ irresistible
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﹕─┈ pairings ( Will smith x female! reader )
°. — summary ( will’s supposed to be studying, but he can’t focus on anything but you . . . it’s not his fault his girl is so irresistible )
°. — details ( g; fluff, slightly suggestive. w; suggestive actions, but no smut, heated makeout. wc; 1.2k)
﹕─┈ prompt ~ placing kisses on your lovers shoulder and nape as they are bent down, trying to focus on their work though they're very hot and bothered
˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( ahhh will !!! Tysm for sending in a request, so sorry it took so long for me to get out, I absolutely loved writing this !!! I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you guys think )
+ could be read as a part 2 to this or just as a standalone.
1k celly masterlist main masterlist nhl masterlist
Saturday mornings were for cuddling, sweet nothings whispered into each other's ears, messy hair and slow kisses, and of course making pancakes that left your kitchen a mess in its wake. Well for will they were, and don't get me wrong you loved those types of Saturdays.
But for you as of late, your Saturdays were waking up early, kissing your still sleeping boyfriend's forehead, throwing on some sweats and a hoodie, strong coffee, and studying for hours in the quiet library knowing that you wouldn't be bothered. But this Saturday was different, instead of going to the library alone, your sweet boyfriend decided to join you. 
He swore that he would help you study since he felt bad for distracting you the other day during class, he knows how important your academics are to you. He promised to be on his best behavior . . . and he really really tried too. But he couldn't help but have his mind wander as he watched study. 
Between the cute pout on your lips as you focused, the way you absentmindedly bit on the top of your pen as you read the large textbook in front of you, and the way he got a perfect view of your cleavage as you leaned forward to write, made him impatient, restless. His mind clouded with thoughts he shouldn't be having in a library. But what can he say, you were just so irresistible. 
“Will” you whisper his name in a warning tone when you felt his hand slip under your shirt, your eyes not leaving your notebook that was filled with your notes, pastel highlighter covered words and little doodles on the sides of the pages. Will did not pause his wandering hand, softly caressing your lower back, his gaze on your side profile. 
“C’mon no one is around” he whispered as he moved closer to you, tilting his body to the side as he sat next to you, your knees brushing up against each other. The soft lingering touch making his want for you, stronger. Will's eyes quickly dart around the dimly lit corner of the library they sat at, no one in sight. They were in their own little world. 
You look up from your books and to will when you hear the desperateness in his tone, ever since you woke him up this morning, soft kisses on the side of his face as you gently ran your fingers through his messy hair, he's been clingy, only wanting your touch and attention. Two things he wasn't getting as you studied hard, his own books and homework long forgotten. 
You could see the desire in his eyes, a look you knew well. Will’s fingers dipped into the waistband of your panties, teasingly tracing the skin under it, sending goosebumps in its wake. 
You swallow hard and ignore the feeling of desire stirring in your stomach, you had to focus, you weren't going to let your needy boyfriend distract you again. You clear your throat and look away from a now smirking will (he could read you so well) And turn your focus back on your textbook “I only have a few chapters left.” 
Will pouts and stops his hand from going lower when you turn your attention back to your studies. He pulls his hand away from your lower back and rests his arm on the back of your chair as he watches you move your hair to your other shoulder, giving him a perfect view of your neck and nape. Your movement gives him a good whiff of your perfume he loved so much. 
Will quickly looks around and smiles triumphantly when he sees that they are still alone and out of sight. He leans forward in his seat and closer to you, his arm on the back of your chair dropping down to wrap around you as he leans down, his chest pressed against your side. 
You try to focus on the words in front of you, but you couldn't focus on anything but the way your boyfriend was pressed up against you, his body warmth spreading over you. Will's lips twitch up into a smirk when he sees you falter, leaning down to place a soft kiss on your shoulder, leaving a trail of wet kisses across your shoulder and up to your nape. Your eyes flutter close as the feeling of his soft lips on your warm skin, a small gasp leaving your parted lips. 
A sharp gasp escapes your lips and your eyes quickly open when you feel his hot mouth part, his tongue teasingly swiping against your burning skin. Will leans back in his chair, a chuckle leaving his lips as you quickly stand up and move away his touch, a familiar warmth and desire spreading across your body. Wills eyes darken as he watches your eyes drop to his legs where he was manspreading, softly biting your lip at the sight before quickly looking up to his eyes, stuttering out “I’m going to go get another book.” 
You didn't wait for a response before you were turning on your heels and making your way towards the history section of the library, thankfully it was close to where the two of you were sitting. You let out a heavy breath and bring your hand to your nape, softly rubbing the hot skin as your eyes dart over the books on the long shelfs. 
You knew what he was doing, and he was doing it well, so you had to get out of there before it was too late and you fell to his charms and touch . . . you were so close to just letting him take you back to your dorm. You stop at the right section and your eyes rake over the long shelf, looking for the right book that you need. 
You only notice your boyfriend who followed you when you felt his hands on your waist, pulling you flush against his chest as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck. You tilt your head to the side to give him more room, will hums in appreciation and places a kiss to your pulse point, your breath hitching at the bruising kiss.
 “Will,” you whispered breathlessly. 
A needy groan leaves his lips as he hears you say his name so prettily, and he doesn't wait another second before he is pulling back and quickly turning you around, softly pushing you back against the bookshelf, a gasp of surprise leaving your lips at the sudden change of position. His eyes twinkled with mischief as he looked down at you, the desire in your eyes matching his. 
He can't wait anymore, the way you looked up at him, the desire in your eyes, the way your chest raised in fall as you breathe heavy, your pretty lips parted, you looked irresistible. Will quickly surged forward, and your noses softly knocked against each other as he took your lips in a passionate kiss. 
You slid your hand up his side and up his back before tangling it into his hair at his nape, the kiss only heating up as he pressed his body flush against you, your touch sending chills down his spine. A whine leaves your lips as he moves his knee between your thighs, will eagerly slips his tongue into your mouth, his hands traveling your body as if he didn't have every inch of your body memorized. 
The kiss only gets hotter as gasps and moans leave both of your lips, you found yourself absentmindedly bucking against his knee. You reluctantly pulled away from the kiss, needing air and not wanting to be caught in a heated makeout with your boyfriend. Pants leaving your lips as you whispered needily. 
“My dorm or yours?” 
°. — taglist ( @cixrosie @toasttt11 @lovings4turn x )
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pretty-circa006 · 6 months ago
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Can't Sleep
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Negan x F! Reader summary Negan helps you out when you can't sleep tags cockwarming, pet names, fluff, groping just a little drabble (what is a drabble) born from my procrastination problem
*you are responsible for your own content consumption. if this is something you DO NOT like, simply DO NOT read or interact! :) *
i did not proofread this!
wc: 538
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚。⋆
She stood outside of Negan’s bedroom door, rocking anxiously on her heels as she waited for him to answer the door. She raised her fist to knock again, but before it could make contact, the door opened. Negan stood leaning against the doorway in his white t-shirt and boxers. He looked tired and slightly irritated, probably from just having been woken up. His thick brows raised upon seeing it was her standing at the door, in nothing but a tank top and panties. He grabbed her arm and pulled her inside before slamming the door. 
“The hell you doin’ walkin’ around the Sanctuary like that?” He growled. 
“Sorry, I couldn’t sleep,” she mumbled, looking down, “can I sleep in here…with you?” Negan sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. 
“Fine, just this once. This will not become a regular thing,” he reluctantly agreed. She jumped into his arms and hugged him tight before pressing a quick peck to his lips. He set her down and she wasted no time in climbing into his bed. He climbed in beside her and she cozied up in his arms. His long eyelashes kissed his cheeks as his eyes fluttered shut, waiting for sleep to take him back. She wasn’t sleeping, and by the looks of it she wasn’t even trying. Her gaze was fixed on his pretty face as she doodled random details with her finger onto his strong chest. 
“Doll, what the hell are you doin’?” He asked without even opening his eyes. She withdrew her finger and rested her head on his chest instead, facing him. He opened his eyes and glanced down at her. She was looking up at him with small smile and big doe eyes. 
“It…it’s hard for me to sleep without…you…inside of me,” she admitted shyly before burying her face in his shirt. Negan couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at his mouth corners. After their nights together, Negan would usually stay inside of her, keeping his seed inside of her abused cunt, even after he went soft. It wasn’t intentional, but the first time it happened, she had fallen asleep before he was ready to pull out and when he finally was, she whined for him to stay. So he did. And it became a thing
“Oh baby, hearin’ that just tightens my goddamn pants!” When she peeked up at him, a dimpled smile was upon his face. She sat up and moved to straddle his hips, Negan’s hands on either of hers guiding her. He freed his semi-hard dick from his boxers before moving her panties to the side and rubbed the tip along her slick slit before lining himself up with her dripping hole. She met him the rest of the way, sliding down his shaft. She felt each vein sliding along the velvety walls of her pussy.
“You fill me up so good, Negan,” she sighed contently before laying down against his chest. His large hands slipped beneath the waistband of her panties and groped her ass. She let a breathy moan out by his ear as he continued kneading the mounds. 
“Neegaan, I’m trying to sleep,” she whined. 
“Shhh, babydoll, go to sleep.” 
thank you for reading!
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aouiaa · 7 months ago
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Loser!Ellie Hcs
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Imagining Loser! Ellie who makes fart noises with her mouth when you bend down to pick up something, and makes fun of you for “farting.”
“Ewww, that one was nasty!”
A scoff leaves your mouth as you stand up, looking back to send a death stare her way to which makes her walk over to you, giggling.
“It’s okay, everyone farts.” she says with a cheeky grin.
An eye roll from you further causes Ellie to full on laugh and wrap her arms around your waist, pressing kisses to your neck.
She would be so silly with it too. Finding different ways to comment on you “farting.”
“That’s some narly tooting there, babe.”
“Woof, another left the cannon!” she says, pinching her nose while actually fanning the air to shooing away the smell as if it was real.
“A bomb just dropped, take cover!”
Imagining Loser! Ellie who invites you over to her house when you first started dating to review her concerningly large comic book collection.
“How many do you have?!” you exclaim, looking over the many boxes filled with comics.
“I had to do some things to acquire such items that I rather not corrupt your mind with.” she says in a rather poor attempt of sounding suspicious and menacing.
“God, you’re such a loser! you laugh, and watch as Ellie immediately drops the act and turns into a big giant tomato.
A little shy “no” leaves her lips to which makes you smile and lean over to kiss her, “It’s okay, you’re my loser.”
Imagining Loser! Ellie who also has a smaller collection of space related books than the rather getting out-of-hand comic collection.
Imagining Loser! Ellie who has the deadliest grip over the last chicken while sending a death stare your way when you do that one trend on her to see if she’d grab her phone instead.
Imagining Loser! Ellie who’s laughing to the point there’s tears in her eyes when she suggested the both of you paint each other. And when revealed, hers was very detailed and while yours…’was insteresting.’ Ellie’s words…
Imagining Loser! Ellie who makes fun of people who dress “cringe”, but also wears this.
Imagining Loser! Ellie who write love songs for you in her little journal of hers and even plays them on her guitar. You’ve even caught her once.
Upon walking into your home, you hear muffled talking or singing. Presuming it’s Ellie, you walk into the room to see her with gutiar in hand. Immediately when she sees you she stops what she’s doing and look up, her face turning red.
“Oh—shit, you’re home early…” she says, laughing nervously, settling her guitar aside and greeting you with a hug and kiss as usual.
A little laugh leaves your lips as you reciprocate the greeting and ask, “What were you doing?”
She pulls away from the embrace and looks down upon hearing the question. Playing with her pinky and ring finger, she responds, “Oh, ya’ know—just…playing.”
“Just playing? But I heard you singing.”
An audible gulp is heard from the nervous girl as she looks up at you, “I was writing a song.” she finally admits.
A wave of surprise washed over you, “Oh—wow. Can…I hear it?”
“Uhh, maybe later..”
You chuckle and nod, “Alright then, my little musician. You can work on!” you quip.
A nervous smile presents itself on Ellie’s lips, “Shut up.”
Loser! Ellie who does let you listen to the song, but is stuttering and messing up the whole time!—Poor girl, you make her nervous :(—To which earns her a kiss on the cheek and a “You got this, baby. Just relax” To which she actually does! She Some might say it was the kiss that did it.
Imagining Loser! Ellie who has a special spot in her journal filled with doodles of you.
Imagining Loser! Ellie who has multiple unfinished paintings of you that with time will be finished, just has to find time in her super busy schedule—that consists of sleeping and bothering you—to finish them.
Imagining Loser! Ellie who sleeps with stuffed animals.
Imagining Loser! Ellie who HAS to absolutely listen to music when doing anything, literally doesn’t matter it could be showering, dishes, getting ready, etc. There’s music playing.
Imagining Loser! Ellie who’s a big ‘Savage Starlight’ nerd and actually at some point sent in one of her best fanart to the official insta page, but never got a response. :(
But the girl can’t take failure as an option and is still hopeful saying, “They’ll open my message…eventually.” with a sad little huff.
Imagining Loser! Ellie who’s screaming from the bathroom when she actually gets a response back!
You knock frantically on the door to startled by the screaming and when she does finally open the door you’re met with her phone being shoved into your face, “Look, Look, Look!”
A slightly irritated sigh leaves your lips as you look at Ellies phone—which has mysterious residue stains on it—and see the instagram post.
Once reading the caption praising Ellie for her work, you look up from the phone and at her, “I thought you were getting killed, Ellie! God…”
“Aweeee, you care about me?” she says, putting her hands on her chest.
“No, I came to make sure they finished the job.” you reply with a cheeky grin.
“Oh wow…well in that case, gimme my phone and get out!” she frowns.
You roll my eyes playfully and chuckle, giving back her phone, “Make sure to flush.” you say, closing the door.
“That was one time!” you hear a muffled shout.
Imagining Loser! Ellie whose phone is filled with multiple pictures of you. Some of you, sleeping, doing chores around the house, cooking—and some with you seeming to be yelling at her in the photo for not helping, and terrible pictures of you that you beg her to delete, but she protests saying they’re “beautiful” to her.
Imagining Loser! Ellie who steals your chapstick since she always loses her’s within a few days of having it.
“Ellie?” you call out, searching in your nightstand for your chapstick.
“Yeah, babe?” you hear her voice become more clearly as she walks into the bedroom.
“Have you seen my chapstick? My lips are terribly dry…” you huff, unable to find it in your clutter.
“Uhh, no.”
*Imagine her in the background, sneakily swiping your chapstick back and forth on her lips as you annoyedly rummage through your stuff for it.* LMAOOO
Imagining Loser! Ellie who does feel bad and buys you a ten pack of chapstick, stealing one of course for herself.
Imagining Loser! Ellie who buys those princess or even soda chapstick ones.
(Okay i’ll stop talking about chapsticks…😭)
Imagining Loser! Ellie who seems to never drink water, but instead drinks like Arizona, Dr. Pepper, or Canada-dry, etc.
Imagining Loser! Ellie who’s rather disgusting when eating. Having dried up residue on the side of her mouth from dinner which was hours ago only to lick it off.
“Mmm, that burger was good.”
“You’re disgusting.”
Imagining Loser! Ellie who sometimes, but not all the time, thinks about how lucky she is/was to get—or “pull” as she says to her friends—someone like you.
Loser! Ellie who loves you for loving her despite her quirks!
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How you can help Palestine, Why you shouldn’t support tlou/ buy the remastered, Educate yourself, #FREEPALESTINE.
a/n; Who wants Dina or Abby hcs? 🤭
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Perm taglist: @elliesprettygirl, @dyk3ang3l, @ellies2fingers, @r3starttt, @slut4mascss, @k1ssesworld
Ellie Only fics: @herelieskrisy, @mikellie , @slaysksmska, @mina-281, @teawithnosugar, @kitkatkittycat111
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marvelstoriesepic · 9 months ago
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Still on the list
Pairing: Frat!College!Bucky x College!Reader
Summary: Bucky Barnes, the infamous frat guy, known for sleeping around and throwing parties left and right, constantly invites you, out of all people, to all of them. His intentions though remain a mystery to you. Following a troubling event that leaves you shaken and anxious, Bucky is there to pick up the pieces. Stolen glances and exchanged smiles gradually blossom into a connection that goes beyond what meets the eye.
Word count: 14.1k
Warnings: annoyance to friends to lovers; panic attacks!; creepy man; angst and comfort; Bucky is a frat boy
author’s note: This took longer than I hoped, but I love it!
Masterlist
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One minute.
One minute did it take for the class to end and yet it felt like an eternity.
You stared at the clock in anticipation, not paying an ounce of attention to what your professor was talking about.
Was he even talking?
Were you supposed to write something down?
You wouldn’t know.
RIING
Finally, the blissful sound of the bell pierced through the monotony.
You took your eyes off the clock in the far corner of the lecture hall, a sigh of relief leaving your lips and started packing your stuff.
“Alright class! See you on Monday! Have a great weekend.” Your professor exclaimed before walking out of the hall with a wave.
Amidst the chorus of thank you’s and see you on Monday’s and packing your laptop in your bag, alongside your pen and notebook (basically for small, unnecessary doodles, instead of notes) including your water bottle, you noticed Wanda slipping onto the bench beside you with her backpack draped over her right shoulder and an amused smile plastered on her face.
“Late again,” she teased.
You groaned. “Blame that slowpoke of a bus driver.”
“You know you can always ride with Pietro and me.” She nudged your shoulder playfully.
You offered her a grateful smile but shook your head. “It’s inconvenient for you.”
After being forced to live on campus for your first year of college you decided to get a small apartment to save some money and get the privacy you wanted and needed. Living on campus was expensive enough and with the small amount of money you got for working in a café and babysitting sometimes in the evening there wasn’t much left for you to enjoy yourself a little.
You never really enjoyed living in a dorm together with someone you didn’t know and sharing that same space. Your roommate for that first year was perpetually boisterous and tried dragging you to every party within a five-mile radius. Despite your initial resistance, you eventually succumbed to peer pressure. After enduring an eternity of loud music and plastic cups thrust into your hand, you found yourself in the grim confines of a bathroom stall, holding back your roommate‘s unruly hair as she retched into the toilet bowl. It was a moment of disillusionment that solidified your resolve to seek solitude and sanctuary away from the chaos of dormitory life.
Though you hated every minute of that day, in the end, you were glad you went, because it was where you met Wanda.
As fate would have it, Wanda found herself reluctantly dragged to the same party by none other than her brother, Pietro. Aforementioned guy managed to catch your roommate since she ‘accidentally’ slipped in front of him. She kept giggling with his arms draped around her and you apologized to him and Wanda though you knew it was actually really not your fault.
So while your roommate occupied Pietro you had a pleasant conversation with his sister. You clicked immediately.
“It takes ten minutes Y/n, it’s truly no big deal.”
“Well, I’ll keep it in mind! Thanks, Wan!”
You walked out of the hall and crossed campus together. Since you just had this one lecture today you signed in for a shift at the café you worked at and were just about to bid Wanda goodbye when-
“Maximoff!”
You didn’t make any attempt to even try not to roll your eyes.
Wanda turned around and so did you eventually, not concealing your dissatisfaction with the approaching guy, a scowl forming on your face.
Bucky Barnes.
Of course.
Now, there were a lot of things you tolerated. It was hard to rile you up, but Bucky Barnes? He exceeded every limit.
You couldn’t stand the guy. And he knew it.
He caught up to you girls and kept his attention on your friend.
“Hey, Wanda! You have a minute?”
Before she could react he turned to you, pretending to see you just now.
“Oh. Y/n! Haven’t seen you there.”
You wanted to punch that arrogant grin off his face.
“What do you want?”
“Well as I was gonna ask Wanda,” he emphasized her name with a playful drawl and turned to her, “You and your brother are coming today right? Sam got the drinks and we got a new beer pong table. We gotta initiate it correctly.”
Another eye roll escaped you as Wanda shot you a brief, amused glance before addressing Bucky. “Pietro’ll come. The party was the only thing he talked about this morning.”
“Perfect!” Bucky grinned. “You’ll come too right? You can have a plus one!” He nodded his head towards you while meeting your steely gaze with unwavering confidence.
“Nothing will get me to enter your stupid frat party Barnes!” you retorted dryly.
Bucky’s grin remained firmly in place, his cockiness bordering on infuriating.
“Well I’ll be there,” he declared, turning his attention toward you with a smirk.
You cocked your head. “There’s the reason why.”
A soft sigh from Wanda diverted your attention, prompting you to check the time on your phone.
“Whatever, I gotta go!” With a brief hug, you bid her goodbye.
“Text me later?”
“Course, Wan!”
You flashed her a quick smile before striding away, ignoring Bucky’s futile attempt to prolong the conversation.
“Where ya goin' ?” he shouted after you.
“Work!” Your response was curt and you continued your way.
****
“That’ll be 4.75$.”
The girl in front of you swiped her card through the card reader and you placed the cup with her latte on the counter separating you.
You thanked her for the small tip and turned away when she left, to stock up on the coffee beans. You leaned down and grabbed the bag out of a drawer from under the counter as you heard the door to the shop open.
Your coworker went to the storage room to store the milk that came in a few minutes before and it wasn’t that busy so you were good on your own out front.
“Just a sec!” you called while opening the bag and pouring the beans in, standing with your back to the counter.
“All good! I’m in no hurry.”
You stilled for a second, almost pouring over the beans. Although you couldn’t see him right now you could tell he wore that shit-eating grin again.
You pulled the bag away harshly with a few falling out. You would take care of that later. Probably not though.
You put the bag aside, preparing yourself to turn around, and came face to face with the one and only Bucky Barnes.
Seriously?
Two times in a day?
You wiped over your apron and met his gaze. “What can I get you?” You tried feigning that kindness you were supposed to show your guests though you knew you could try more.
Not taken aback by your grimace and still slightly annoyed tone he leaned on the counter and pretended to contemplate what to get.
You crossed your arms over your chest and stared at him.
“I think I’ll go for a black coffee,” He grinned at you.
You uncrossed your arms to get to work. “Small, medium, large?” You were really trying to stay professional here.
“I’ll take it medium, doll.”
It wasn’t the first time he called you that, though you‘ve heard it come out of his mouth plenty of times to plenty of girls so you guessed he didn’t even recognize he was calling you that too.
You got to work while Bucky watched you intently, still leaning on the counter.
You hoped he would stay silent but guessed that thought was futile since he walked in here.
“So, you think about coming?”
“No.”
“No, you haven’t thought about it or no, you aren’t coming?”
“Both.”
It wasn’t the first time he somehow tried to get you to come to one of his frat parties. Be it through Wanda or Pietro or just blatantly asking you to come. You knew your answer every time. He should have known that too but he seemingly never stopped trying.
“Aww, come on doll! Already put you on the list.”
“Do whatever you please Barnes but I’m not coming,” you retorted while finishing up his coffee and sliding it across the counter over to him. “That’ll be 2.95$.”
Will Wanda come?” He didn’t attempt to grab the cup, instead he stayed rooted and looked at you.
“Don’t know. Maybe”
After that party your former roommate dragged you to, you avoided them at all costs and managed not to attend any other. Wanda sometimes came along with Pietro to get him back home after drinking too much. You considered coming along for moral support a few times but didn’t want to give Bucky the satisfaction of getting you to come. And Wanda always claimed she‘d be fine.
He leaned to take the cup of coffee and a milk pack from beside where you were standing.
“Alright well, you know where to go,” he slid over a 5$ bill. “Keep the change!” He lifted the cup a bit. “And thanks!” Giving you his signature smirk.
“Barnes that’s too much for a single coffee!” you protested and were about to collect his change but he was already halfway out of the shop.
“Keep it!” he threw over his shoulder and you looked after him a little irritated.
His persistence annoyed you to no end so why did your lips curl up in a smile, despite yourself?
****
You didn’t come.
It was nearly midnight and you found yourself nestled in your bed, the soft glow of your laptop illuminating the room as you rewatched a movie for the umpteenth time.
There probably would be a few things you’d like to do instead, but going to one of Bucky's notorious frat parties, will just never be one of them.
You couldn’t even really tell why you held such a grudge against the guy. He never really was explicitly rude or anything, yet there was something about his demeanor that rubbed you the wrong way.
Bucky Barnes had been a constant presence on campus since day one. Whether it was in the hallways or outside the building, Bucky was always surrounded by a rotating cast of admirers, girls vying for his attention. It became a familiar sight to see him engrossed in conversation with yet another girl, his charm seemingly boundless.
Amidst the flurry of attention and admiration that surrounded Bucky, there were moments when his gaze seemed to linger in your direction as if seeking to ensnare your attention as he did with others. You’d catch him looking at you in the hallways. You’d see him standing outside your lecture hall, although he didn’t even attend this class. However, you never attempted to acknowledge him and were set on keeping your distance.
In your second semester, you found yourself sharing a course with him. That was where he first initiated interactions with you. At first, it was a subtle passing glance, a nod, and a smile of acknowledgment, but soon his efforts to engage with you became more pronounced. It started with a request for notes when he wasn’t there the other day. And then there were times when you ran late and he saved you a seat beside him, sending you a wave and a charming grin.
But then you would watch him effortlessly flirt with other girls, letting them sit on his lap and whispering in their ear, you having the front row seat. You couldn’t pinpoint why his flirting with other girls left a bitter taste in your mouth, but it deepened your reservation, solidifying your decision to maintain a sense of distance.
Despite not sharing any classes with Bucky in your second year, he seemed determined not to let your lack of proximity deter his efforts to engage with you. His persistent attempts to catch your attention continued unabated - although you never gave him much to work with - seeming to find a way to cross paths with you all the time.
The first time he asked you to come to one of his frat parties, you were sitting in a small booth at a café near campus, nursing a latte and discussing your professors together with Wanda and Pietro.
You laugh. “Right? She once even gave-”
“Pietro! Hey, man,” comes his voice across the café and Bucky Barnes approaches you three.
You drop your smile and divert your attention to your latte as Bucky greets Pietro and Wanda.
“Y/n! Nice to see you.” His voice dripping with charm.
Upon hearing your name you lift your head and offer a strained smile, hoping to convey at least a semblance of politeness.
“Hi,” you answer lamely, not an ounce of enthusiasm found in your voice.
Bucky’s smirk deepens in response, a knowing glint in his eyes.
Your smile turns into a grimace.
“You coming tonight man?” he asks Pietro.
“Course Buck! I‘ll be there.”
“Great!” His attention turns to you.
“You girls are welcome too, you know.”Although addressing both, Wanda and you, he keeps his gaze on you.
“Yeah, no thanks!”
“We’ll think about it!”
Wanda sends you a glare, reminding you to stay nice. Though Bucky doesn’t seem fazed by your lack of interest, the boyish smirk still present on his lips.
“Well, I’d be happy to see you.”
You don’t even have time to answer him when a brunette, standing at the counter, calls his name.
You look in her direction though his eyes remain on you a few seconds longer until he turns away and bids his goodbye. Wanda and Pietro answer him while you remain silent, taking refuge in your coffee cup.
He was attractive, you gotta give him that but you never were someone to go after looks. There were so many more important things to see in people. Sure, you don’t know how he treated or saw his flings, or hookups, or whatever but you supposed you didn’t wanna know.
****
After you worked your ass off at the café during the weekend you were more than unpleased to be sitting in your lecture hall at 8 in the morning on a Monday. At least the bus was on time you supposed.
Wanda slid in beside you and put down a cup of coffee in front of you before unpacking her backpack.
“Oh god Wan, you’re an Angel!” You took a big sip and sighed dramatically.
Wanda snickered softly, organizing her notes.
“You know, Pietro told me someone was a bit disappointed,” she began and you looked at her confused.
“The party,” she continued but you just stared at her oblivious.
She sighed. “He hoped you’d come this time.” She studied you with a careful expression but you saw the corners of her lips turning up lightly.
You blinked. “Why would he think that?”
Wanda shrugged. “Well he’s pretty persistent,” She studied you some more and you began to feel uneasy, “You could give him a chance.”
“Huh?” you mumbled, caught off guard.
Turning toward you fully, Wanda leaned in slightly. “I don’t really know him that well, but he’s different with you. Pietro’s mentioned it. He’s never made this much effort with anyone else.“
Perplexed, you pondered her words.
“And honestly,” Wanda continued, “He’s a nice guy. I mean I get he’s got girls around all the time-”
You grimaced.
“-but he’s not the guy to lead anyone on or make someone feel worthless, I’m sure of it.”
That got you silent and you looked at her, pouting your lips in contemplation.
“He had a girlfriend once but as far as Pietro knows it didn’t end well. She moved away and they tried that long-distance relationship crap-”
You raised an eyebrow.
“-but she then started seeing someone else without telling him.”
You exhaled deeply, processing the information. “Alright well that sucks…sure…but is that a reason to use girls like that?”
“How are you so sure that’s what this is?” Wanda countered
Before you could respond, your professor arrived, saving you from further discussion. You were kinda glad he was on time cause you really had no idea how to answer that. You couldn’t know what he does with those girls. What he told them. How he treated them. How he made them feel.
Actually
You didn’t know anything about him at all.
****
Nearly two weeks had passed and you haven’t seen Bucky since he came by the café you worked at. Despite your efforts to push him out of your mind, you found yourself occasionally thinking about him or scanning the hallways for a glimpse of him.
Wanda got sick the day prior so you were sitting alone in class. After making idle conversation with some fellow students, you decided to stay back and finish up your notes.
You heard footsteps approaching but didn’t look up until someone settled beside you.
“That looks kinda complicated.”
Irritation bubbled up, but you were surprised to find you didn’t immediately feel the urge to roll your eyes all the way up to your brain at the sound of his voice. Reluctantly, you turned to face him, a sigh leaving your lips
“What are you doing here? This isn’t even your class!”
“Came looking for ya,” he replied, that familiar smirk playing on his lips.
You returned your attention back to your notes. “What for?”
“Shouldn’t you be able to tell?” He grinned and bumped your upper arm lightly.
That was the first time he initiated any form of physical contact and you weren’t sure what to make of it.
“Another party, I assume,” you remarked plainly.
“Smart girl! Missed you the last time.”
“Then have fun missing me this time as well,” you retorted, not bothering to look at him.
You felt his eyes on your profile but didn’t turn to him.
“Well just wanted to let you know you’re still on the list,” he said, his voice laced with that characteristic smirk.
That dude really wouldn’t give up, would he?
Quickly finishing your notes and packing away your things, you draped your bag over your shoulder, ready to leave the hall. As you turned to go, you glanced back at him.
“I’ll think about it,” you said, your tone dripping with sarcasm, though deep down you couldn’t deny that small part of you, that was considering his invitation this time.
****
The party started by now.
Standing in your bedroom you wavered on the threshold of the decision to go to his party or not.
You found yourself grappling with uncertainty, questioning the motivations behind your sudden inclination to attend the party. Was it a twinge of guilt for his past misfortunes that nudged you towards empathy? Or perhaps a genuine curiosity sparked by the desire to unravel the enigma of his persistent invitations?
You pondered, your thoughts swirling. Perhaps this was all a game to him? Or maybe there was something deeper, something he needed to prove to himself or to others.
Yet, the idea of subjecting yourself to potential humiliation at a frat party churned your stomach. You had no desire to be caught in the whirlwind of debauchery and recklessness.
But Wanda didn’t really make him seem like the kinda guy to pull shit like that.
Though how could she be sure?
The sudden ringing of your phone shattered the swirling thoughts that had consumed you, pulling you back to the present moment. With a grateful sigh, you glanced down at the screen, Wanda’s name lighting it up.
“Hey Wan,” you greeted her while laying back on your bed.
“Hey Y/n. I assume you’re not at the party.”
“Nope, you know me.”
“Okay well, could I ask for a favor?” Wanda’s voice held a hint of hesitation.
You sat up. “Yeah, sure Wan, what’s up?”
“Pietro will need someone to pick him up later but I’m still feeling pretty shitty at the moment and…I don’t know I was thinking maybe-“
“You’re asking me to pick him up?” you finished her sentence, sighing deeply.
“Kinda, yeah,” Wanda confirmed sheepishly.
You chuckled. “Sure, I can do that Wan, no problem.”
You could hear the relief in Wanda’s breath. “Thank you babes, I owe you! You can take his car, I’ll leave the keys under the pot outside.”
“You don’t owe me anything Wan, I’m glad I can help! You stay in bed and rest, alright? I’ll take care of your brother,” you assured her.
After exchanging a few more words, you hung up and prepared to leave. Opting for a casual outfit you threw on some wash jeans and a shirt.
Considering you spent a good amount of time on spiraling whether to go or not it got rather late already and it still would take you some time to get to Pietros car and to the party.
You grabbed the keys from under the pot, got in the car and started driving. It had been a while since you made use of your license considering you couldn’t afford your own vehicle, but you managed.
As you parked the car and stepped out onto the pavement, the distant throb of bass pulsed through the air, a tangible force that seemed to reverberate through your entire being. With each step towards the fraternity house, the music grew louder, assaulting your senses with its relentless intensity.
You walked up to the guy standing at the door with a ripped sheet of paper in his hand. You assumed that was what Bucky referred to as list.
“Hey, uh, I’m here to pick up Pietro Maximoff,” you stated, hoping to avoid being drawn into the revelry inside.
The guy’s smirk was infuriating as he chuckled dismissively. “Oh I’m sure he’s a little busy right now.”
Suppressing a sigh, you resisted the urge to roll your eyes at his remark.
“What’s your name sweetie, you could always go in and join the party.”
“Yeah no I’m fine, I’ll just-”
“Wait, are you the infamous Y/n?”
You blinked. You were not entirely used to people knowing your name. You’d like to believe you were nobody. Whether on campus nor in general. So why did this random guy know your name and call you infamous?
You didn’t have to answer, instead the guy nodded towards the door, granting you entry with a casual wave.
“Come on in, Buck will be thrilled to see you,” he remarked, stepping aside to let you pass.
Feeling utterly disoriented and out of place, you stepped inside, your senses assaulted by the overwhelming cacophony of noise and the oppressive heat of the crowded room. The stench of sweat and alcohol hung heavy in the air, causing you to wrinkle your nose in disgust. With each step, the floor seemed to cling to your shoes, a sticky reminder why you avoided this for so long.
You tried to adjust to the flickering lights and internally scolded the person who decided those colors were a good match when you heard your name be called.
“Y/n?”
You weren’t surprised to hear his voice since it was partly his party but you were surprised he recognized you this fast since you just stepped inside. Was he watching the door?
His smile greeted you as he stood before you, and you were blinded for a second there.
“You’re here!”
“Uh, well I’m kinda just here to pick up Pietro. Wanda asked me to.”
Bucky’s smile faltered slightly at your words. Clearing his throat, he offered a tentative response. “Oh. Well, haven’t seen him,” he exclaimed, his gaze momentarily flickering away before returning to meet yours.
As Pietro’s slurred voice called out your name, you turned to see your friend stumbling towards you, a wide grin plastered across his face. He draped an arm around your shoulders, and you instinctively supported him, wrapping your own arm around his waist to steady him.
“What’re you doin’ here, princessa?” Pietro slurred, his words punctuated by a drunken laugh.
You laughed. “Came here to pick you up, Piet. Wanda’s still not feeling well.”
But Pietro, clearly undeterred by your explanation, attempted to pull you along with him, his movements unsteady as he swayed on the spot within your hold.
“Let’s get you a drink, princessa,” he insisted, his grip tightening around you.
Refusing to indulge his request, you gently guided him towards the door, ignoring his protests. As you turned to leave, you caught sight of Bucky, his jaw clenched and his eyes darting away from your close proximity.
“I guess thanks for the invite Barnes but this really isn’t my scene.” You gave him a tight lipped smile and turned to Pietro again.
Meanwhile, Bucky remained rooted to the spot, his gaze fixed on the door you just disappeared behind.
****
Since that day at the party three weeks ago, Bucky had been somewhat of a ghost, disappearing from the usual campus scene. Despite not seeing him, thoughts of him seemed to linger in the back of your mind and you caught yourself looking out for him in the hallways.
You made your way to the restrooms between your two classes of the day cause you just had to drown yourself in coffee on your 4-hour shift in the café this morning.
After locking yourself in one of the cabins that still held toilet paper you heard the door to the restroom creak open and made out the hushed voices of two girls filtering in. One of them clearly crying.
“What’s wrong with me? He literally jumped in bed with every other girl on campus! Why not me?” the girl sobbed hysterically while her friend got her some paper towels from the dispenser.
You rolled your eyes at her antics and decided to just wait out until they left.
“I don’t know El, but Jake did say something about him wanting to change.” You could picture her gesturing quotation marks with her fingers at the ‘wanting to change’ part. And though you weren’t quite the type to gossip you held your breath and listened intently.
The other girl blew her nose while her friend continued.
“He hasn’t been to a party for the last, I don’t know, maybe three weeks or something. Just stayed locked in his room. That’s what Jake told me. Don’t know what to make out of it though,” the girl chuckled, “I mean it’s Bucky we’re talking about.”
As Bucky’s name entered the conversation, your ears perked up, and you felt compelled to listen. Thoughts swirl in your mind, multiplying like rabbits in a field. Was that night you picked up Pietro the last party he attended? Why the sudden disappearance into seclusion? Why would he lock himself in his room? Why did he dump that girl? You didn’t know who that Jake dude was but you weren’t sure if he was right.
You snapped out of your thoughts to catch the still crying girl whine again. “But I tried really hard Meg! I pinned notes on his locker, I smiled at him all the time, I sent him my notes from history per mail, the one time he didn’t come and I slipped my phone number into his backpack when he wasn’t looking-”
Suddenly you were grateful for standing right beside a toilet cause you felt the urge to vomit.
“-and he just straight up told me he’s not interested?!”
You heard the other girl, Meg, probably short for Meghan or something but why would you care, sigh. “I’m sorry El, but maybe he’s really just trying to become better than that.”
The crying thankfully stopped and was replaced by a scoff and an exasperated intake of breath. Personally, you’d describe it as overly dramatic but who were you to judge.
As the girls finally departed, leaving behind the remnants of their dramatic exchange, you released a sigh of relief.
After finishing what you came in here for in the first place you left the restroom as well and walked through the hallway on your way to your next class.
And as god, or the devil, or Mother Nature, or something the fuck else wouldn’t have it any other way there he was. Bucky was standing at his locker, taking a look at a pink piece of paper in his hand for only a second before crumpling it in his fist. You could only guess what it was.
He turned to the trash can to throw it in there and when he looked back up he met your gaze. His eyes lit up at seeing you, but nevertheless, you noticed the tired look he wore and couldn’t help but feel kinda bad for him.
Normally when passing Bucky in the hallway you wouldn’t spare him an attention spawn over two seconds but here you were giving him a somewhat genuine smile, a rare display of empathy, which he reciprocated immediately.
Even as you turned the corner and continued on your way, you couldn’t shake the sensation of his eyes lingering on you. You couldn’t suppress the warmth spreading in your stomach.
Bucky stopped asking you to come to his parties. As far as you knew he didn’t even attend them himself anymore. You shared with Wanda what you overheard in the restroom, and after confirming with Pietro, it became clear that Bucky was indeed making some significant changes in his lifestyle.
Bucky Barnes was truly an enigma.
Armed with insider information from Wanda, you learned that Bucky refrained from being seen with any girl for weeks and stopped planning and attending the frat parties. He seemingly even talked about leaving the fraternity altogether.
You don’t know what to do with those information but you did notice a shift yourself. You saw Bucky again two times since you passed him in the hallway a few days ago.
You were walking through the library together with Pietro and Wanda when you saw him sitting there in the far corner with his textbook open and a pencil poised. You stood and drank in the sight of him for a moment. His brows were furrowed deep in concentration and he lightly tapped his pen on his notebook rhythmically. He let his hair grow out a little, wisps falling onto his forehead. He sure as hell was a sight for sore eyes.
As if he picked up on your staring he lifted his head and looked over in your direction. The intensity of Bucky’s gaze sent a jolt through you, causing your heart to race as you hastily averted your eyes, feigning interest in the books on the nearby shelf. Despite your attempt to appear nonchalant, you could feel the warmth of his gaze lingering on you.
Stealing another glance in his direction, finding him still watching you, his soft smile a stark contrast to the cocky grin you were accustomed to. The corners of your mouth lifted ever so slightly without having your consent.
The sudden interruption of Pietro’s arm around your shoulders broke the spell between Bucky and you, snapping him out of his reverie. With a subtle shift in his posture, he straightened his back and lowered his head back to his textbook.
The other time, yesterday, you decided to join Wanda and grab something to eat at the canteen. As you stood in line with Wanda you were the one to feel eyes on you, prompting you to turn and find Bucky’s piercing blue gaze fixed on you.
Your lips curled in a smile and Bucky’s sweet grin in response sent a flutter through your chest.
To your own disappointment, you ended up sitting with your back to him throughout eating, though you pushed it aside.
****
It was a long day.
You had a shift at the café this morning and then went straight to Uni where you dragged yourself through your classes of the day. It was already starting to get dark when you walked around campus to get to your bus station.
This was your routine on Wednesdays but something felt weird. There was a shiver creeping up your spine and you tightened your coat around yourself, hugging your waist, as a response to that feeling of unease.
“Hey! Girl!”
Your heart dropped at the shout and although it came from behind you, you just knew it was meant for you. Unconsciously you picked up your pace, hugging yourself tighter and scolding yourself for not getting pepper spray.
“Hey, you! I’m talking to you!”
You heard quick footsteps approaching you from behind and let out a gasp as rough fingers grabbed onto your wrist, turning you to the man with that gruff voice.
He was tall. His beard, grizzly and grossly outgrown, held a few drops of whatever might be in the bottle he held in his other hand. His clothes were lumpy and held stains, dark eyes pierced through you.
“I’m sure you’re so kind to give a man some money for cigarettes, little girl, huh?”
You stared at the man in front of you, frozen out of fear. Your heart plummeted in your chest and you felt the hand around your wrist tightening. You swallowed thickly but your throat still felt like sandpaper. You wanted to talk but nothing left your mouth.
“Well if I don’t get money you could always pay me differently,” He licked his lips and his eyes roamed over your body. He got hold of your other wrist and you suppressed a whimper.
You wanted to yell at him to let you go. You wanted to kick him where the sun wouldn’t shine. You wanted to scream for anybody to help you. But you couldn’t. You were frozen in place, your voice lost in your throat.
“Hey!”
Another voice.
“Let her go!”
You knew this voice. It was oddly familiar, but you couldn’t comprehend how you knew it.
There was a figure approaching in long, fast strikes and you wanted to go take a look but the man still standing in front of you grabbed you even tighter, which led to another gasp exiting your lips.
You heard your name called and looked in the direction of the newcomer.
Bucky.
It was Bucky.
Relief flooded your body and you finally were able to take a controlled intake of breath again.
“Do you know this guy?” Bucky's concerned gaze bored into you and you shook your head weakly.
That’s all he needed to turn to the guy still having a hold on your wrists. “You let her go right now!” The dangerously low and calm tone of his voice and the way he was talking to you way softer just seconds before let you shiver and caused your head to spin.
The other guy scoffed and let your wrists fall to take a step back, holding his arms up in a surrendering kind of way. Bucky immediately stepped in front of you. “Relax man, did nothing to that girl!”
“You better want to stay the hell away from her or anyone else. I don’t want to see you here again!” Bucky’s voice was laced with a dark, threatening tone, his stance unwavering as he shielded you from the menacing stranger. Despite the age difference, Bucky’s intimidation factor was undeniable.
Said man scoffed and stumbled away a little. Bucky kept watching him till he was out of sight and turned to you in an instant. Not sure if you were okay to be touched, his hands hovered over your arms as he leaned down to catch your eye, his concern evident in every gesture.
“Hey, Y/n, are you okay?”
Your gaze remained fixated on his collarbone, unable to meet his eyes. Absentmindedly, you rubbed the wrist of your right wrist, where the man had gripped you, feeling the tenderness and likely bruises forming there.
“Doll please look at me!” he pleaded, though you remained stoic, your emotions tightly locked away. His worry was palpable, evident in the furrow of his brows and the hesitant hover of his hands, unsure of how to comfort you.
“Eyes up here sweetheart, please!” His voice was softer than you’ve ever heard. Slowly, almost reluctantly, you lifted your head, allowing your gaze to trail up his face until your eyes met his. There was a hint of panic in his expression, his eyes searching yours with such urgency, that it was almost overwhelming. You felt a lump form in your throat at the raw emotion reflected in his blue orbs.
“That’s it doll! Just like that!” He let out a breath of relief but never took his eyes off of you. He signaled to your wrists without breaking eye contact. “Can I take a look?”
You swallowed thickly, your throat tight with emotion, but you gave a slight nod, granting Bucky permission to inspect your wrists. Gently he took your right hand in his left, lifting your sleeve with the other to reveal the red and purple marks beneath. His touch was featherlight as he trailed his fingertips over your sensitive skin, but when you recoiled slightly, he pulled back immediately, murmuring an apology.
With your eyes trained on your wrist, you felt Bucky's finger under your chin to tilt your head up gently, coaxing you to look at him once more. “I’ve got you doll, okay? He’s gone. It’s alright!” he reassured you, a hint of fury underlying his voice as he recalled the man who caused you harm and left you in this state.
Taking a hesitant hold of your hand once again, Bucky brushed his thumb soothingly over the back, his eyes never leaving yours as he watched you intently.
Despite your curt nod, you found yourself avoiding his gaze once more.
“I know it’s hard sweetheart but I really need you to say something. Need to make sure you’re okay. Can you do that for me?” Bucky’s voice was filled with gentleness, patience, and genuine concern, causing a lump to form in your throat.
Taking a deep breath, you mustered the strength to look at him again, your eyes glazed from the overwhelming emotions consuming you.
“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, but Bucky heard you.
He squeezed your hand lightly and rubbed his other hand along your upper arm. “No need to thank me, sweetheart! I’m glad I was there!”
“Me too,” you found yourself saying, unable to hold back the gratitude flooding your heart. It was a miracle that Bucky showed up at the right moment, and you will forever be grateful for his intervention. The thought of what could have happened if he hadn’t been there sent a shiver down your spine.
The corners of his mouth turned up slightly and he watched you with such fondness and adoration, your knees grew weak. You even managed to muster a small smile in return.
You took a deep, shuddering breath in, feeling the awkwardness settling in as you realized you had never been that close to Bucky before. Although you felt surprisingly grounded in his presence, you couldn’t shake the discomfort of the situation.
Releasing his hand, you rubbed your forehead, avoiding his gaze as you tried to find the right words. “Uhm...thank you, Bucky, really, but I think I’m just gonna…,” you trailed off, gesturing towards the bus stop in the near distance.
“Woah hold on now doll! I’m not gonna let you go home alone!” Bucky protested, shaking his head.
“It’s fine Barnes really! I’m just gonna call Wanda or Pietro. Surely one of them can come pick me up,” you didn’t really consider calling them but you’d feel bad for inconveniencing Bucky when he would be at his flat in a few minutes himself.
But Bucky was determined.
“No need to call them. I’ll drive you! Sam has a car and we’re just, like, two minutes away,” he pleaded, gaze so intense, almost forcing you to look away.
You sighed, feeling torn. “That’s really nice but I don’t wanna bother you furthermo-”
“Y/n you’re not bothering me! Never! Now please let me do this. Let me take you home,” he interrupted gently but firmly, his grip on your elbow a reassuring presence. You tried to conceal your lingering stress, but nothing could hide it from him.
“I-I can’t ask you to do that,” you murmured, your eyes shifting.
“I’m the one asking sweetheart. Please let me drive you home.” His eyes were hard to discern in the dim light, but the sincerity and concern in his voice were unmistakable.
With a sigh and a final look at the bus stop, you nodded slowly. “Okay,” you whispered.
A smile spread on Bucky's face and he gently turned the hand on your elbow to the small of your back to lead you to the flat house.
As you approached the building, you recognized it from the brief time you spent at the party. However, without the thumping bass, overpowering smell of alcohol, and chaotic atmosphere, the place appeared surprisingly cozy in the dim light
Never once leaving contact with your back he guided you to a room at the end of the hallway. He knocked on the door softly.
“Took your sweet time man-” a guy - Sam, you assumed him to be - standing in the doorframe, stopped talking upon noticing you. A slow smile curled upon his lips. “Can see why.”
“It’s not how it looks like,” Bucky hissed quickly, talking through his teeth. “Can I borrow your car?”
“Sure, man,” confirmed Sam, reaching for a key from a hook beside the door. “Don’t be too late for class tomorrow,” he added with a wink.
A lump formed in your throat as you grappled with your thoughts. It was natural to assume Bucky would have certain expectations given his reputation. After all, he was known for his past behavior of sleeping around. The transformation he seemingly went through couldn’t happen overnight, after all.
You found it hard to believe that Bucky would take advantage of your vulnerability, especially considering how he came to your rescue during the unsettling encounter just moments before. Yet, despite this reassurance, your mind continued to wrestle with uncertainty, plagued by lingering doubts and fears.
Bucky could feel you tense beside him and shot daggers at Sam even when said guy already disappeared behind the door.
As he walked you to Sam’s car, Bucky held the door open for you, guiding you inside with gentle reassurance. Determined not to leave you alone for too long, he rushed around the front of the car to take the driver’s seat.
During the drive, silence filled the car as you tried to calm your breathing, focusing on the passing scenery outside the window. Your efforts to quell your anxiety were hardly manageable, due to the bouncing of your leg and your trembling hands, fiddling with the fabric of your jacket.
Bucky discreetly stole glances at you as he drove, noticing your nervousness.
15 minutes of driving later, Bucky came to a halt in front of your apartment complex. You unbuckled yourself and before you realized what was going on Bucky opened the door at your side. You didn’t even notice him getting out of the car.
Feeling weak in your knees you got out of the car. Bucky walked you to your door, hands held by his side in case you needed him and his presence offered you a sense of comfort. As you came to a halt in front of your door, you turned your body to him, trying to muster up a smile. You attempted to convey your gratitude although that unease still lingered in your bones.
“Thank you, Barnes! For everything!”
“No need to thank me, Y/n. I’m glad I could help. Will you be okay though?” His concern was genuine, struggling to leave your side.
He looked so hesitant to leave you, it would have been adorable in other circumstances. You felt guilty for entertaining the thought he would take advantage of your situation. You even believed he would be relieved if you asked him to stay with you. You had to admit, the comfort his presence gave you was easing your anxiety, though you couldn’t ask him to stay.
You conjured up a smile. “I’ll be fine,” you assured him, unlocking your door. Bucky stayed rooted on the spot, returning an unsure smile, looking torn. “I’m gonna be okay, really! Get home safe, Barnes.”
Bucky cleared his throat, evading his eyes for a moment and taking a reluctant step backward, but he remained turned to you. After exchanging a quick goodbye you disappeared behind your door.
Bucky watched you climb the stairs through the small window in the door, his gaze unwavering even as the hallway inside turned dark again. He remained rooted outside, his thoughts consumed by concern for your well-being.
Bucky couldn’t shake the desire to talk to you again, especially since that night at the party. He tried so hard to muster up the courage, never having a problem in that department before, but he was a nervous wreck. Now, in an unexpected turn of events he did get to talk to you again, however, he despised how it had unfolded. Seeing you struggle to hold back tears, desperately trying not to break down in front of him, pained him deeply. It hurt to witness your shock, pleading with you to snap out of your state.
The thought of what could have happened if he hadn’t returned, if he hadn’t forgotten his notebook, made him feel sick to his stomach. The mere idea of leaving you to face that situation alone was unbearable to him. Now leaving you alone so shaken felt inherently wrong in any sense, but he acknowledged he didn’t know you well enough to override your request that you would be fine. His instincts urged him to stay but he had to respect your words and your space.
Bucky seethed at the thought of Sam insinuating that he would use you in such a way. Sure, Sam didn’t know what happened to you and it wasn’t his fault Bucky had a reputation like that, but somehow it made him angry. You meant more to him than that. The mere suggestion of exploiting you for his own gain left a bitter taste in his mouth, and he silently vowed to prove Sam wrong by showing you the genuine depth of his feelings and intentions.
Girls constantly approached Bucky, attempting to touch him in the hallways or slipping their phone numbers into his locker, backpack, or books. Just the other day, a particularly bold girl even tried to write her number on his hand. Although she didn’t succeed, Bucky found himself standing in front of the sink for a while, scrubbing at his hand to erase any trace of her advances.
Bucky knew that he was viewed as nothing more than a means for physical pleasure. And he was okay with that, for an embarrassingly long time. The idea of being in a committed relationship and facing the responsibilities that came with it used to repulse him. His desires were simple - a brief encounter with no strings attached, followed by a swift departure, leaving no room for emotional entanglements. At a certain time, one smirk of a pretty girl was enough to jump into bed with her.
You were pretty too. Beautiful even. He acknowledged that day one. But never did he consider reducing you to a mere physical encounter. He noticed you in the hallways and felt intrigued, contemplating flirting with you just like he did with all the other girls. However, there was something different about you. He felt nervous around you, realizing that he cared about your opinion of him more than he cared to admit. He was strangely exhilarated at finding out you would share a class in second semester, trying to find a way to build some kind of connection with you.
That night, as you expressed your disinterest in frat parties, he felt the pull you had on him, without even knowing you well. The alcohol at the party suddenly tasted sour, the air felt stifling, the crowd too dense, the music too deafening, and the girls vying for his attention became an unwelcome intrusion. Their advances left him feeling an overwhelming sense of distress.
He found himself longing to leave his old reputation behind. He wanted something meaningful, something real, and the only person he could imagine it being with was you.
But right now?
Bucky’s heart sank as he got back to Sam’s car, feeling the strong urge to stay with you and ensure your safety. Sitting in front of the steering wheel and staring at your building, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he should be by your side.
You got stuck in your head after examining your bruised wrists and trying to cool down the swelling with an ice pack. Before your panic attack rendered you useless to do anything you managed to call Wanda and she talked you through it. You stayed on the phone with her until you fell asleep.
****
As you woke up, a familiar sense of unease settled over you, accompanied by trembling hands and a racing heart. The thought of facing another day filled with potential triggers made you hesitate. You did want to attend class, unfortunately though the looming threat of another panic attack weighed heavily on your mind. With a sigh, you made the decision to prioritize your well-being and called in sick, sending a text to Wanda to let her know.
As said girl joined you later, bearing notes and takeout, you found solace in her company on your small couch, eating and talking.
“So uhm,” Wanda began, seemingly nonchalant, but you knew her better than that, ears perking up. “I wasn’t sure if I should tell you but after Science class, I met Bucky waiting outside the hall. He was looking for you.”
Your chewing slowed as you processed her words, eyebrows knitting together, looking at her.
“He came up to me, to ask where you were and if you were okay.”
You swallowed, a wave of panic surged within you. “You didn’t tell him-”
“No! No, of course not,” she interjected you hastily, words tumbling over each other in her haste to reassure you. “I just told him you weren’t feeling well and called in sick but I don’t think he really bought that.” Her smile was sympathetic.
Your appetite forgotten you let your fork clatter into the plastic container, your forehead finding its way to the backside of the couch with a groan of frustration.
Wanda’s light chuckle broke through your troubled thoughts. “He also asked me for your number,” she revealed, her tone surprisingly casual given the weight of her words.
“What?” Your head snapped up, eyes widening in disbelief.
“Didn’t give it to him, don’t worry, though I kinda felt bad for the guy. He looked miserable.” Her voice tinged with sympathy.
Taking a deep breath, you attempted to calm the whirlwind of emotions swirling within you. Gratitude mingled with apprehension as you recalled Bucky’s unexpected kindness during yesterday’s ordeal. You remembered how his proximity seemed to ground you, warmth spreading through your body at the comfort he provided. You could still feel the lingering sensation of his hand on your back, even a day later. And yet, the intensity of those feelings scared you, threatening to unravel the carefully constructed walls you had built around your heart.
“Hey,” Wanda called out softly, her words carrying a gentle insistence. “He genuinely seemed worried. And I’m not trying to get you to befriend him or whatever but…he really is a nice guy, Y/n.”
Your gaze was fixed on Wanda, contemplation furrowing your brow.
“Listen, I don’t know what your problem is with Bucky, but-” she gave you a careful glance, “-if I’m being honest, I don’t think you know it either sweetie.”
Wanda’s words resonated with a truth you had been reluctant to acknowledge. Bucky’s genuine concern had managed to pierce through the barriers you had erected, leaving you grappling with conflicting emotions. Why did you hold onto this grudge so tightly? Was it merely a shield against vulnerability?
As you reflected on Bucky’s actions, a sense of clarity washed over you. There was truly no valid reason to hold onto the grudge you had harbored against him. He truly had consistently shown kindness and concern towards you.
Recalling the instances where he had gone out of his way to make you comfortable, a wave of gratitude washed over you. From saving you a seat in class to rescuing you from a precarious situation with a homeless man to checking in on your well-being through Wanda, Bucky had proven himself to be a decent and caring person.
With a newfound perspective, you realized that perhaps it was time to give him a chance.
****
The bus was late, as usual. Today, though, you couldn’t summon the energy to care. Your mind was still swirling with thoughts, and fatigue weighed heavily on you.
Wanda saved you a seat in class, checking in on you again and although you felt way better than yesterday, you couldn’t concentrate. The voice of your professor was merely a blurred murmur in the back of your mind.
With some time to kill before your next class, you and Wanda decided to grab a coffee. However, you barely made it out of your lecture hall before hearing your name called.
Heaving a sigh, you turned around and came face to face with an approaching Bucky.
He came to a halt, looking a little sheepish now that he was standing in front of you. With his hands stuffed in his pockets, and his hair a little disheveled, he cleared his throat, seemingly unsure of where to begin.
“I’ll head out already, Y/n. Take your time.” Wanda spoke up, giving you a quick hug before passing by Bucky and throwing you a wink over her shoulder.
Bucky cleared his throat again, shuffling on his feet a little before meeting your eyes. “So, uhm, are you okay?”
A soft smile tugged at the corners of your mouth, touched by his concern. “I’m fine,” you assured him, fidgeting with your fingers. “Thank you, again!” You added quietly.
He waved away your gratitude with a casual gesture. “No need to thank me doll. I’m glad I could help.”
He smiled softly, biting his lip, though there was a hint of something more in his expression. Sensing he still had something on his mind, trying to figure out how to say it, you remained silent.
“Listen, uh...,” he began, clenching his jaw and avoiding eye contact. “I wanted to apologize for…well for being pushy about the parties and all. Shouldn’t have bothered you like that.”
You blinked, taken aback by his unexpected apology. “Oh, uhm…it’s okay Barnes, really.”
He shook his head, letting out a breath. “Nah, it’s not. This isn’t your scene, should have respected that.” He opened his mouth again but closed it right after, swallowing.
“Don’t worry about it Barnes, it’s alright, seriously.” A tinge of disappointment lingered within you. The realization hit you, that without his invitations to parties, he might not seek you out as often. He only ever did, when asking you to come to his parties. So it would mean he might not annoyingly interrupt you in class, or approach you on campus anymore. You scolded yourself for feeling that way but you somehow didn’t want to lose that.
Needing to take hold of your thoughts, you wanted to get away from here. Your lips curled in a smile. “Alright, uhm, Wanda’s probably waiting for me so-” You were about to turn away but Bucky called your name again.
“Hey, uh-” he seemed nervous, his voice wavering slightly and he cleared his throat, a hand coming up to run through his hair. “You could always come to me - I mean, the frat - when you’re here late. I can always drive you again. Make sure you get home safe.”
He felt bad for bringing up the topic again, but he wanted you to know that he genuinely cared and would feel better if you reached out to him. He would gladly drive you home again, hoping you’d consider taking him up on his offer.
Surprised once more, you blinked at him, processing his offer. You mustered up a smile. “That’s nice, really Barnes, but I think I’ll be okay.”
“Alright, well, just know that I’ll be there if you change your mind,” Bucky replied, his tone sincere, expression soft.
You smiled again, nodded, and bid him goodbye.
Reflecting on the interaction, you couldn’t help but agree with Wanda. Bucky Barnes was a decent guy, held back by his reputation.
****
Sunlight streamed through the windows of the library, casting warm beams that danced upon the wooden tables and bookshelves. It was a stark contrast to the earlier rain, which had cloaked the world outside in a shroud of grey.
The faint whispers of fellow students, the gentle rustle of pages, and the occasional creak of wooden chairs created a soothing ambiance while you browsed through your textbook.
A groan from beside you, however, interrupted that. You lifted your head, diverting your attention to your friend sitting beside you.
“Why is all the information so scattered? Can’t find shit for this stupid paper.” Wanda exclaimed, her brow furrowed in frustration as she stared at her laptop screen.
As you chuckled and leaned in to help Wanda navigate through the vast sea of information on the internet, a sudden gust of wind sent a shiver down your spine, causing you to instinctively turn your head towards the entrance of the library. In walked Bucky, accompanied by the familiar figure of Sam. You quickly averted your gaze, not wanting to be caught staring.
In the two weeks since your conversation, there had been a palpable change in the air whenever Bucky and you crossed paths. And that was a lot. You haven’t necessarily exchanged words but you grew more enthusiastic when seeing him, sending a smile his way, which he reciprocated immediately.
You were sitting in a café last week, nursing a latte, while having light conversation with Wanda and Pietro, as you recognized Bucky standing at the counter. Without thinking you lifted your hand and waved at him when he looked in your direction. His face lit up, crinkles forming at the corners of his eyes as he smiled and eagerly waved back. He seemed to contemplate walking over to you, your hopes rising for a second, but his name called by the barista snapped his head away from you. After getting his coffee he sent another smile your way but left the café. Wanda and Pietro wasted no time in teasing you mercilessly after he was out of sight. The blush on your cheeks evidence of your embarrassment.
“God, this is getting ridiculous,” Wanda scoffed, amusement lacing her features. You turned to her, a hint of confusion littering your features, oblivious to what she was referring to. She nodded subtly to the side, her attention still fixed on her laptop screen. Following her nod, you spotted Bucky and Sam standing in the near distance, both seemingly focused in your direction.
Sam's face lit up with a mischievous grin and he started walking toward you girls, clapping Bucky on the back. Bucky looked visibly distressed, running a hand through his hair, before following behind.
Sam took a seat in front of Wanda and you, his toothy smile lighting up his face. “Ladies,” he acknowledged playfully.
Wanda laughed, continuing to type on her laptop. “What do you want Wilson?” she asked teasingly.
Sam leaned back in his chair, his grin widening. “Just wanted to say hi,” he replied casually, shrugging his shoulders.
Meanwhile, Bucky took a seat next to Sam, looking a little awkward. He shuffled a little, leaning his elbows onto the table.
“Well hi, then,” Wanda said, finally looking up.
As Sam and Wanda dove into a discussion about their research papers, exchanging ideas and sharing insights, Bucky and you found yourselves stealing glances at each other.
There was a warmth in Bucky’s eyes, a softness you still were trying to get accustomed to. You felt a flutter of excitement in your chest, you didn’t even try to suppress.
Bucky cleared his throat, looking solely at you. “What’s your paper about?” he asked, his voice gentle yet filled with curiosity.
You smiled, grateful for the new opportunity to engage him in conversation. “I’m researching the impact of technology on interpersonal relationships,” you replied, the initial awkwardness fading away.
Bucky nodded, his interest piqued. With that you delved into a light conversation, discussing your topic in more detail, diving into the various aspects you were exploring and the questions you hoped to answer. Bucky’s gaze never wavered, his attention fully captivated by your words. You noticed that whenever you tried to turn the conversation back to him, Bucky seemed more interested in talking about you.
As the conversation between Bucky and you flowed effortlessly, you found yourselves delving into deeper topics. Bucky’s genuine curiosity about you as a person was evident, and you felt a surge of warmth spreading throughout your body at his interest in getting to know you better. He asked about your hobbies, your favorite books, your dreams for the future - anything and everything he could think of to get to know you better. A spark elicited in Bucky’s eyes at some point, as if he found something in your words that resonated with him on a deeper level.
It felt like you talked to Bucky for hours though it couldn’t have been more than half an hour. The presence of Wanda and Sam had long faded into the background, as Bucky and you connected. To your disappointment, Sam and Bucky had another class and bid you girls goodbye, wishing you good luck with your papers furthermore.
Wanda held her mouth after they left but the knowing smirk in her glance spoke volumes.
****
Weeks passed in a blissful blur. Your encounters with Bucky on campus evolved into something more than just brief exchanges. Conversations became the norm, each one stretching longer than the last, until you found yourself losing track of time altogether, arriving late to class oftentimes. Whenever your schedules allowed it, Wanda and you would meet up with Bucky and Sam to grab some coffee.
The soft smiles filled with adoration that Bucky sent your way didn’t go unnoticed, even when he thought you weren’t looking. You also noticed the little gestures, the quick hugs, he never seemed to pull away from fist, the hover of his hand over your back when walking around campus with you. He pulled you closer to his side a few days ago, his hand gently gripping the sleeve of your jacket as you navigated through the crowded hallway. Your heart skipped a beat at that.
And then there were moments when he seemed on the verge of saying something before parting ways, his lips parting as if he wanted to speak his mind, but then thinking better of it and closing his mouth with a clear of his throat and a hand running through his brown locks. His former cockiness seemed to have given way to a newfound shyness. He was holding back, afraid to cross some invisible line but you didn’t know how to approach him on that.
You also didn’t know if you eventually could cross a line at this moment. Darkness enveloped the campus, casting eerie shadows that danced in the dim light of the flickering lampposts. Wanda and Pietro were out of town and you decided to stay a little longer and finish up your notes. A bad move on your part.
The once bustling grounds now lay deserted, devoid of the usual throngs of students. A sense of unease settled in the pit of your stomach, gnawing at you with every step. The silence was deafening, broken only by the occasional rustle of leaves in the wind or the distant hum of a passing car. Every shadow seemed to hold a hidden threat, every rustle of the wind a whisper of danger.
You were thinking about the offer Bucky had made you a few weeks ago to go by his flat and let him drive you home again. You considered going to him but although he had made you that offer you didn’t want to inconvenience him. And just walking to his flat and asking him to drive you home? It seemed weird. But as your anxiety intensified and your hands started to tremble, you found yourself walking towards his flat on autopilot. The memory of your previous panic attack loomed large in your mind, threatening to engulf you once again.
There was a guy standing in the doorway with a cigarette in hand. You were approaching cautiously, not sure if this was a good idea.
“Hey, you lost?”
The sound of the stranger’s voice jolted you out of your anxious reverie, pulling you back to the present, momentarily breaking the spell of fear that had gripped you.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves as you responded. “Uhm, actually I wanted...to Bucky.” Your voice wavered slightly, betraying the uncertainty that still lingered within you.
The stranger raised an eyebrow, eyeing you curiously as he took a drag from his cigarette. “Huh,” he muttered, looking you up and down. “Guy hasn’t had a girl over in weeks.”
You cleared your throat, too caught up in your own anxious thoughts to care about the stranger’s assumptions.
“Well, is he here?”
He nodded, a sly smirk forming on his lips. “Up the stairs, last door to the left,” he replied, gesturing vaguely in the direction of the staircase.
With a weak “thank you” you stepped past him and walked up the stairs, your heart pounding in your chest.
You stood in front of his door, staring at it long enough to notice the cracks in the woods, marring it’s surface, splinters standing out. Your lip was held in a death grip, teeth biting down on it. With a hesitant breath, you finally mustered up the courage to give the door a soft knock, the sound echoing faintly in the empty hallway. As you withdrew your hand you hid the shakiness in the folds of your sleeves.
There was a groan on the other side of the door, as response to your knock. A lump burned in your throat and you played with the thought to just bold out of that house again when you heard the doorknob turning.
“Sam, come on man-” Bucky stopped talking abruptly upon seeing you. His eyes grew wide, eyebrows shooting up, surprise clear as day upon his face.
“Y/n? I-Wow, uh, I didn’t expect you here,” Bucky stammered, shuffling on his feet with his hand running through his disheveled hair in a futile attempt to compose himself. If your mind wouldn’t have been occupied with other things right now you would have found him adorable with his crinkled shirt loosely hugging his frame and hanging over some dark sweatpants, his unruly hair and flushed cheeks. But all you could do was swallow that burning sensation in your throat.
“Uhm,” you choked out, looking at you feet. “I-I’m sorry for bothering you, I just…I didn’t-”
“Hey, hey, doll, it’s alright,” he met you in the hallway, a hand coming up to your upper arm in a sense of urgency. He hooked his finger under your chin to lift your head. You met his eyes, your heart leaving your chest altogether. His face was twisted in worry, brows furrowed deeply, eyes so focused on you, the intensity of it washed over you like a wave. Your breaths still came in too elated, heart beating erratically. “Take some deep breaths for me sweetheart, follow my lead, come on.” He urged you softly.
With Bucky’s guidance, you focused on your breathing, drawing in slow, steady inhalations and exhaling the tension that had taken hold of your body. His thumb continued to trace soothing circles on his skin. As you followed Bucky’s lead, the erratic beat of your heart gradually slowed to a more steady rhythm.
“Atta girl, that’s it!” he whispered, rubbing his other hand up and down your arm. He nodded at you to keep breathing, eyes so intense it was the only thing you could focus on.
Standing directly in front of you and focusing on your eyes, he let your chin up to gently grab your other arm. “You wanna tell me what happened?” His low and gentle tone soothing you.
You took a deep breath, feeling ridiculous out of a sudden to stand here and burden him. “I-My bus didn’t come and-and I don’t know, I got scared I guess and…God I’m sorry Bucky I shouldn’t have come I-”
“Hold on a sec doll,” he interjected, brows pulled together further, concern dripping from his words. “You stayed on campus until now?” A confirming but weak nod of you let Bucky heave a breath. “There’s no need to apologize, sweetheart, I told you you could come, didn’t I? And god help me, I’m glad you did.”
He looked pained to some extent, but mustered up a warm smile. You bit the inside of your cheek, eyes still shifting with uncertainty and your hands were still secured in your sleeves, the nagging thought that you were burdening him still lingering at the back of your mind. Your tense posture didn’t go unnoticed by Bucky and he pulled you in his embrace, engulfing you in a warm hug. He never hugged you like that before but with the way his arms around you tightened and he leaned his head against yours, he supposedly wanted to.
As Bucky held you close, his warm breath tickling your ear and sending shivers down your spine, he whispered words of comfort and reassurance that washed over you like a gentle breeze. You couldn’t quite make out what he was saying, all you could do was melt into his embrace and let the soothing cadence of his voice and the tenderness in his touch ease the knots of anxiety that had gripped your chest.
Bucky withdrew slightly to look at you again, his gaze filled with affection and tenderness. “You want me to drive you home, doll?” he whispered, maintaining the close proximity you two harbored.
As you pondered his question, conflicted emotions swirled within you. Initially, you had sought Bucky out precisely for this reason - to ask for a ride home. But now, something had shifted. The idea of being dropped off alone at home felt less appealing. Wanda and Pietro were likely unavailable, and you hesitated to inconvenience anyone else. Yet, the thought of being alone right now was equally unsettling.
Sensing your hesitation, Bucky gently lifted your head again with his finger under your chin, guiding your gaze to meet his. There was a soft smile you came face to face with. “Sam’s not here for tonight…Do you wanna stay? It’s just us.”
The offer was tempting, but you couldn’t shake the worry of being a bother. “That’s nice Bucky, but I-I don’t want to intrude,” you murmured, matching his quiet tone.
“You’d never intrude, sweetheart! Don’t ever worry about that, alright?” His hand found its way to the small of your back, guiding you into his room.
You settled on his bed as he led you there and couldn’t help but steal a glance around the room. It was surprisingly tidy, save for a small pile of clothes scattered on the floor. Overall, the atmosphere felt organized and put together. Your eyes drifted to his desk - again, neatly arranged - where a framed picture caught your attention. In it was a clearly younger Bucky, with chubby cheeks and a toothy grin. Standing behind him was a man who bore a striking resemblance to him, his father you guessed. A woman was beside him, dark hair in a bun atop her head and a radiant smile, presumably his mother. Cradled in the woman’s arms was a little girl, short brunette hair a little disheveled, and with a pacifier in her mouth but a joyful grin on her face.
A soft smile tugged at your lips as you took in the sight of his family. While Bucky had mentioned having a sister during your conversation in the library a few weeks ago, he had never shown you pictures before.
Bucky entered your field of vision, settling down beside you with a glass of water in hand. He held it out to you and you thanked him gratefully, taking a sip.
You felt Bucky shifting beside you, wiping his hands on his sweatpants, betraying his nervousness. “Do you-” His voice was raspy and he cleared his throat, starting again, “Do you need anything? Are you hungry? Can I get you something?”
You huffed out a laugh, throwing him a grateful smile. “I’m good, Bucky, thank you!”
A hesitant hand came to rest on your knee. “You let me know if there’s something, alright?”
“Will do, Buck!”
He gave you a look. “I mean it, doll!”
You chuckled, being surprised by how easily Bucky managed to ground you, getting you out of your nervous spiraling. “I know, Barnes.”
Bucky watched you, own lips curled in a soft smile. You returned his gaze, warmth spreading through you at the sparkle in his eyes. His hand remained secure on your knee, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your jeans, a gesture that made you yearn for his touch on your skin instead. The amount of adoration twinkling in his gaze made you weak. Seconds ticked by and you still were looking at each other. There was something in his blue speckles that couldn’t bring yourself to look anywhere else. A magnetic pull you were drawn to, holding you captive. You noticed his blues flicker down to your lips for a brief moment, and in response, your own eyes permitted themselves to wander to his. The movement of his thumb stilled on your leg, his hand laying flat and you could feel him leaning in.
Bucky often found himself lost in thoughts about kissing you. When the urge washed over him he imagined leaning in and capturing your lips with his own. But he had always held back, hesitant to take that final step without knowing if you wanted it too.
One time, when you two were walking together through campus, the wind was relentless, whipping your hair around your face as you tried in vain to tame it. Despite your efforts though, the wind was hard to go against and after the fifth failed attempt at trying to tame your hair, you started laughing, Bucky joining in. As he watched you, your hair obscuring your view, he couldn’t help the warmth swelling in his heart, the fondness that made his smile ache in his cheeks at the sight of your laughter. He found himself wishing to pull you close, to gently brush the strands of hair away from your face, and to kiss you with all the pent-up longing he felt. In that moment, all he wanted was to express the depth of his feelings for you in a kiss that would leave you breathless.
He often daydreamed about kissing you in the library. Surrounded by the soft glow of sunlight streaming through the windows, you sat immersed in your studies, your face illuminated by the gentle light. You looked so beautiful, all he could do was admire you. If only you had lifted your head from your notebook, you would have seen the adoring smile that graced his lips. He longed to express his affection for you in the form of a tender kiss, holding you close and sharing a moment of intimacy amidst the quiet serenity of the library. But he couldn’t do that, so he took the chance and admired you from afar.
But the one time he almost really did it was the time you called him ‘Bucky’ for the first time.
You sit in your usual café, nursing a large cup of coffee, the rich aroma wafting up to greet you with each sip. Bucky is seated in front of you, idly fiddling with the sugar packages stored in a box on the table. Your notebook lies open in front of you, pages filled with scribbled notes from your recent class.
After class, Bucky had caught up with you, asking what you were up to. You had mentioned grabbing a coffee and finishing up some notes, and he had decided to tag along. However, as you now sit together in the cozy café, it seems Bucky isn’t entirely pleased with the lack of attention you’re giving him, his relentlessness evident as he fidgets with the sugar packets in front of him.
He grumpily rearranges the sugar packages for the fourth time, his irritation palpable as you remain engrossed in your writing. You hear the crinkle of a sugar packet being opened.
“I don’t need any more sugar in my coffee, Barnes,” you warn him teasingly, without lifting your head from your notebook.
“Everyone needs a little sweetness in their life, doll!” he retorts with a knowing grin, tossing you a wink as you glance back at him. With a mischievous smirk, he lets the sugar cascade into your cup.
“Whatever you say,” you reply with a laugh in your breath, shaking your head in amusement before returning your focus to your notes.
You hear him open another package and let out a sigh. “You better not do that,” you warn again, eyes not lifting.
Another rip of a sugar packet catches your attention, and you perk up to see Bucky holding both open packages over your cup, letting the sugar pour in.
“Bucky!” you exclaim, the volume of your voice drawing glances from other café patrons, but you’re too focused on the playful banter to acknowledge them. “God, I can’t believe you did that,” you groan, pulling your cup closer to your side, in mock exasperation.
As your gaze locks with his, you’re prepared to scold him further but the look on his face catches you off guard. His eyes are wide, mouth agape, morphing into a beaming smile, white teeth on display.
Your eyebrows shoot up in confusion. “What?”
“Thought I’d never get to hear you say it, doll,” Bucky laughs out, eyes sparking.
“What did I say?” you ask, puzzled by his reaction.
He leans forward, elbows resting on the table while his eyes remain fixed on you. That beaming smile is still plastered on his face, and his blue orbs seem to glow with amusement, sparking brighter than usual.
“You called me Bucky,” he points out, his voice tings with delight.
You took a deep breath in, regretting your slip-up. “Shit, I guess I did.”
Bucky now crosses his arms over his chest, leaning against the back of his seat. He doesn’t seem able to stop the smile on his face. “If all it took was to annoy you then Imma keep doing that from now on,” he declared with a playful glint in his eyes.
Head in your hands you let out a groan. Bucky barks out a laugh in front of you and you reluctantly lift your head to look at him. You point a finger at him. “I’ll keep calling you Bucky, if you stop being annoying!” you propose, trying to stay serious but not being able to stop the corners of your mouth from lifting.
“Can’t say no to that,” Bucky conceded, smile growing fond, affection radiating from him in waves.
He never stopped annoying you but you kept calling him Bucky.
But now, as he sat in front of you, his hand resting on your leg, Bucky felt the familiar urge resurface. You were in his room, smiling at him, looking so beautiful, it took his breath away. Yet, despite the overwhelming desire, he knew he would never take that final step without your explicit consent, considering the circumstances you were here right now. Your state earlier left him uneasy and a nagging guilt was gnawing within him, thinking about that night he had driven you home and then left you alone that shaken. So he needed you to want this, to be sure you were okay. He felt sick at the thought of taking advantage of you in any way.
Thus, he did lean in but didn’t go further than a few inches, giving you the opportunity to make the next move or the space to show him you weren’t ready for that.
Your eyes darted to his lips once more, leaning in yourself. Your foreheads touched after some moments, noses brushing and you saw Bucky’s eyes flutter close, still not moving further. You took a few seconds before closing the gap and pressing your lips to his. Bucky let out a breath through his nose, slowly moving his lips in sync with yours. Again, he let you lead the kiss. His other hand made his way up to your face, the gentle touch of his fingertips brushing over your skin before tenderly cradling your cheek.
Eventually, you pulled away, opening your eyes but staying close to his face. Your hazy smile mirrored his, and he pulled your head back slowly, pressing a kiss to your forehead before looking back at you, fondness clear on his features. “Are you okay?” he whispered, his fingers still caressing your cheek as his intense eyes locked on yours.
You nodded, your voice barely above a whisper as you held his gaze. “Yeah.”
After a few tender moments of loving touches and whispered assurances, Bucky handed you a change of clothes and let you use the bathroom.
Emerging from the bathroom, you were now dressed in a pair of his black shorts and a shirt, the fabric enveloping you in Bucky’s comforting scent. It made your stomach do flips, feeling at ease. A soft smile graced your lips as you took in the familiar aroma.
“I got another blanket, in case you got cold…,” he trailed off as he caught sight of you. His eyes swept up and down your figure, admiring how his clothes draped over your form. Though you couldn’t quite read his expression, the slight blush coloring his cheeks was enough to make you smile sheepishly in response. Bucky cleared his throat - he did that a lot around you - and turned away a little, composing himself.
There wasn’t much space in his bed you recognized as you settled in, but somehow you didn’t mind that much. Bucky sat down on the bed, looking troubled.
“Buck? Something wrong?”
Bucky took a breath, shaking his head slightly. “No,” he breathed out, an inner turmoil in his eyes, “I just…I can sleep in Sams’ bed. Maybe tha-”
“Hey,” you interrupted him softly, “I don’t mind Bucky, really! We can share.” He didn’t look convinced so you sat up straighter and heaved a breath, trying again. “And it would make me feel better,” you admitted quietly.
That did him in, breathing out a sigh and settling in beside you. Though he relented, he still was tense beside you, his muscles stiff. His shoulders were touching yours, so he felt you starting to shiver a little. His head snapped to you in an instant.
“Are you cold? Let me get another blan-” Bucky began, already halfway off the bed before you interrupted him once more.
“Hold on! I…uhm,” you hesitated, searching for the right words to express your request, “Could you maybe…cuddle me?” You fiddled with your fingers, a little nervous about how he would react.
To your relief, you heard him shuffle towards you, and soon you felt his arm wrapping around you. You smiled and turned, positioning your back against his chest. His other arm moved hesitantly under your pillow, enveloping you in a comforting embrace. With Bucky’s presence surrounding you, you felt a sense of security wash over you, easing any lingering nerves.
“Like that?” he breathed in your hair, a whisper so full of emotion.
“Yeah,” you breathed back, a sense of gratitude washing over you, “Thank you!” It wasn’t just a thank you for holding you in that moment; it was a thank you for everything he had done for you. It was a thank you for pulling you out of your anxiety - for saving you from a panic attack you surely would have endured if it wasn’t for him. It was a thank you for him offering his comfort and support in so many ways. And it was a thank you for inviting you to his many parties because although you never really went, it was the foundation of your current relationship.
And he knew. He knew the depth of your gratitude, the depth of your feelings. Because he had learned to read and understand you. Because he had learned to love you. And he would tell you when he thought you were ready to hear it. For now, all he could do was hold you close, squeeze you just a little tighter, and silently convey his unwavering support and profound affection.
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“Love comes to you just at the right time; the time you never thought it would have”
- Anurag Prakash Ray
776 notes · View notes
cranberryjuice-posts · 9 months ago
Note
Hi, I wanted to ask for a Clarisse fanfic where the reader is gifted in the arts? I would also like to ask that the reader be a daughter of Hades :)
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What’s a girl to do
Pairings - Clarisse La rue x daughter of hades! Fem! Reader
An - this lowkey sucked but YALL will live
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You had always been gifted in the arts. From dance, music, art itself and even theater.
Being that you were a hades kid most kids avoided you, not that because your dad was the king of the underworld but because just being around you gave them an unsettling feeling.
Something every great artist had was a muse, someone they could go to for inspiration, someone that gave their work meaning. But you? You didn’t have a muse.
Sure you’ve had inspiration come from all types of media but never once did you have an actual person you could call your muse.
That had changed though when you met clarisse. It started out small with small doodles of her. Then she started to show up as small details in your song lyrics. And even going as far as using her as your model in your photos
You two were friends.. but you knew you wanted more then that.
——
Clarisse spun her spear around on the sandy beach. She was so in the moment that she hadn’t heard the sound of your camera going off.
She ended in a pose with her spear tucked under her arm. Panting that’s when she realized you were sitting near by.
“You know its creepy to take photos of people without their knowledge right”
“Eh you’ll live” you smiled. Clarisse had always been beautiful even in situations like now where she was panting and sweaty from her workout.
You walked over towards her smiling sat the picture
She was a natural. The way clarisse moved her body it was like she was meant to be infront of the camera.
subconsciously you started leaning into her to show her the photo. “this one here, I like how your curls kinda spun around with you, you know” You smiled, clarisse nodded placing a hand around your waist, she had always done that but it didn’t mean it didn’t get you flustered everytime.
“Mmhm” she stuck her spear in the ground before reaching over placing her free hand onto yours clicking back on the camera to a photo of her standing with her spear pointed down the sun hitting her at a certian angle adding dramatics. “this one is better”
“Well I think both are fine” you smiled looking over at clarisse. Your faces were close. So close if you even just moved a little you might accidentally kiss.
You waited for clarisse to do something, to move away and tell you to piss off but she didn’t. Instead you started to feel her rub circles on your hip.
Almost out of a movie mark clarisses bother appeared. “Clarisse!” He yelled gaining the now irritated girls attention.
“The hell do You want Mark im busy” she looked over at him not wanting to deal his bullshit. “It’s Sam and Jane, they got into another fight and are in the infirmary now Chiron wants to see you about it all”
You watched as clarisses closed her eyes trying to calm down even a little. She looked back at you before squeezing your hip and letting go to head off to beat her siblings.
You stood there frozen and embarrassed. Clarisse didn’t like you. There was no way if anything she liked silena. Clarisse only saw you as a friend…
Right..
——
Around 3am you decided to sneak out of your cabin not able to sleep.
Lazily walking around the camp trying to not get caught you noticed a familiar girl jumping out the ares cabin window. Using shadow travel you quickly moved to stand beside the cabin.
Clarisse sighed as she landed on the ground, silently closing the window “since when did you sneak out”
“Fuck!” She whisper yelled having to pull her hand back from hitting you. “What the hell are you doing out here”
“Selling hardcore drugs— now you tell me why your ever so quietly leaving your cabin” you sarcastically spoke. Clarisse rolled her eyes in defiance. “Your a pain in my ass you know” she scoffed.
You shrugged your shoulders. “You’ve said worse to Me” starting to follow the girl into the forest you took in the scenery.
The full moon brought you a sense of comfort, mainly in the fact that the goddess nyx had always brought protection to people in need through the veil of night.
Clarisse continued until she came to a clearing in the woods, high on the mountian side and far enough away from the camp you wouldn’t get caught but high enough you could see the stretched out lake.
“Wow..” you whispered. “I never new this spot existed”
“That’s supposed to be the point”
“Is this where you take girls to makeout with them then torture them before k—“
“I’m not some insane serial killer dumbass” clarisse laughed pushing you softly before sitting down. You followed her lead sitting a little to close to her.
After a few moments you watched as clarisse silently complained befote grabbing some Kindle Wood arranging it to make a small fire. Using a lighter most likely taken from the big house.
After sitting back watching the fire clarisse looked over at you. “How long have you been doing all this shit”
You raised an eyebrow confused. “You mean photography” you chuckled, Clarisse nodded in response her face unreadable.
You sighed for a moment “uhh I’m not really sure, I just I’ve always had a passion for the arts and been naturally gifted in them, I like photography the best with painting being right underneath though” you tucked some hair behind your ear slightly embarrassed.
“Why me” she continued to asked. “Like out of every camper here why am I the one you take the most photos of me”
“Well I Ju—“
“Wait wait don’t tell me you like me” clarisse laughed at the end of her statement. You went to speak but decided to stay quiet letting clarisse finish her laughing fit it. She soon stopped looking over with a playful face. “Wait seriously.. you use me as your muse because you like me”
You started to get up embarrassed walking away quickly not wanting to listen to the girl yelling after you. About five steps into your leave clarisse grabbed your arm. “Gods damnit can you just wait” she huffed.
“Yeah because I just love being laughed at thanks clarisse” you tried to pull your arm away but it was pointless “you know it’s actually really shitty to laugh at someone when you find out they like yo—“
You were cut off by clarisse grabbing your head and crashing her lips against yours. Not caring how messy it was, clarisse kept a firm hold on your head while grabbing your waist pushing you against her.
The kiss moved from messy to controlled. You let clarisse hold you close, soft breaths leaving both your mouths not wanting to pull away but still needing to breathe.
Pulling away you felt clarisses hot breath on your lips. “Do you ever stop talking” she asked now with her hand on the side of your face comfortingly rubbing circles. You rolled your eyes but kept quiet, your arms around clarisses neck.
Clarisses kissed you once again slowly, she pulled away kissing your cheek. “I like you to dumbass”
“Really..?”
“Uh yeah you really think I let anyone take photos and draw me?”
You playfully pushed the girls shoulder before pulling her back into a grinful kiss
“Great now that we’re together can we please go back to the fire it’s cold as shit out here”
“Whatever La rue”
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