#just ONCE i want an absolutely wild crossover

[grimlock]

hasbro franchises i'd pay to see transformers crossover with one day

jem and the holograms

furby

idk jenga i guess

hasbro franchises i'm tired of seeing transformers crossovers of

gi joe

[nyoomfruits]

for the ask meme: 5 + 68, landoscar!

THANK YOU TO @ocontraire FOR HELPING ME OUT WITH THIS ONE <3

bar/restaurant au + heroic sacrifice

It's the calm before the storm, that small moment right after family meal and right before their first reservations, tables all set and silverware shined. Lando's standing in front of the bar, double checking the reservations, while Oscar's behind it, cutting a lemon.

"How's the apartment coming along?" Lando asks, when he's made absolutely sure all reservations have a corresponding table. "Managed to find a couch yet?"

Oscar wrinkles his nose, tosses the ends of the lemons and sweeps the rest into an ingredient container next to the limes and the maraschino cherries. “Logan thought he found one but when we went to look at it,” he shudders. “There were stains, Lando. Stains. Questionable ones.”

“Oh, yikes.” Lando mimics a retching motion. “Well, have to keep looking then I guess.”

Oscar hums, grabs a glass and fills it with water, two ice cubes, and a singular slice of lemon, places it in the exact spot Lando always keeps his drink, hidden out of sight from the rest of the restaurant by the coffee machine. When Lando raises an eyebrow at him Oscar sighs, and adds a pink straw. “We were planning on doing a thrift store run on Sunday but Zak gave me the opening shift, so.”

Lando drops the pen he’d been fiddling with. “Zak did what?” He asks.

Oscar shrugs, a dismissive little motion that Lando learned long ago to not actually dismiss. “It’s fine, it’s just this once. Bella has this family thing, so.”

“No,” Lando says, “no, he can’t do that to you. You hate the morning shift.”

Oscar rolls his eyes. “We all have to do things we don’t like as much sometimes.”

“Yeah, but,” Lando frowns. “Last time it took you weeks to recover. Months! You do realize you have to get up at 7am right?”

Oscar looks at him, bemused. “Lando, seriously. I’m fine. And it wasn’t months. It was two days max. I’m just not a morning person, I’ll live.”

“No, no, no, do not worry. I will relieve you of your duties. I will fall on this sword for you. For you are my brother in arms and I have sworn to protect you with my life,” Lando’s reached over the bar to grab Oscar by the shoulders, and Oscar’s face is doing some kind of crossover between fond and exasperated.

“That’s sweet, Lando, really. But I’m fine.”

“For death,” Lando says, completely unfazed. “For glory. For brotherhood. Fear not, my beloved. I will save you from these atrocities.”

Oscar pinches the bridge of his nose. “We’re not even. I’m not your beloved, Lando.”

Lando perks up, smiles. “But you could be,” he says, winks.

“Sure,” Oscar says, dubiously. “Anyway, really, I’m fine. One morning shift won’t kill me.”

“No, no, no, let me do this for you. Just promise me one thing,” Lando says, still dead serious. “If you have children someday, if they point to the pictures, please tell them my name. Tell ‘em how the crowds went wild. Tell ‘em how I hope they shine.”

“Okay, now you’re just quoting Taylor Swift at me,” Oscar says throwing up his hands, making Lando’s hands drop off his shoulders.

Lando pouts at him. Oscar frowns. Lando pouts harder. “Fine,” Oscar relents, shoulders sagging. “Fine you can have your weird heroic sacrifice or whatever you want to call it. Take my Sunday morning shift.”

“Yay,” Lando says, beaming brightly. “Think of me, when the sun falls behind the heavens. I’ll go tell Zak.”

“Your sacrifice is greatly appreciated, you absolute dumbass,” Oscar drawls after him, as Lando skips off in search of Zak. With his back turned, Lando misses the ridiculously fond, endeared smile Oscar sends after him.

[persephone-kore-fairchild]

So I absolutely love the idea of a Kane Chronicles/PJO crossover in which somehow Nico accidentally becomes the host of Anubis.

Nico and Anubis are hanging in a graveyard. Anubis is standing behind a mausoleum so when Sadie and Carter find them they are understandably confused. After all, Nico looks very similar to Anubis–so similar, in fact, that with Anubis behind the mausoleum, they thought Nico WAS Anubis.

Anubis moves to introduce them. He calls Nico his friend and goes to pat his shoulder when *something* happens. And suddenly Nico has fallen and Anubis's form vanished. In Nico's eyes instead of pupils there are golden ankhs. He's understandably panicking, and Anubis appears again, trying to comfort him.

Because somehow, when Anubis placed his hand on Nico's shoulder, he took him as a host. So Nico has a god in his head now. And he can see into the Duat.

Just imagine.

Nico fighting like a demon, the faint image of a jackal fighting alongside him. Throwing out Divine Words as he summons shadows and bones. Biting with extra-sharp canines if he's trapped. A wild animal, and in each eye a golden ankh, burning with the fury of the gods.

On the other hand, he works through some stuff

He becomes less shut off from everyone. Less anxious with somebody in his head to reassure him. Anubis is respectful; he backs off when Nico wants to spend some time without the voice in his head, but is always supportive when he's needed.

Nico and Anubis in Tartarus.

It would be hard for Anubis to reach him down there, of course, because though death is universal, monsters are not, and Tartarus is just so very Greek. All Anubis can manage is to lend Nico some strength, which is all that keeps him from dying in the house of Nyx. When he's captured, it is Anubis's power that keeps him alive until the Seven can rescue him– the pomegranate seeds are powerful, but not that powerful.

When Percy and Annabeth fall into Tartarus, Nico can't move. He desperately reaches out to Anubis, allowing him to possess his body, not caring in anyone finds out. They sprint forwards and Anubis casts a Divine Word– Tas, bind, to create a net keeping the two up. But the pull of Tartarus is too strong, and they fall anyway.

Nico beats himself up about it. After all, if he hadn't frozen, hadn't taken the time to decide to let Anubis take the reins, he may have been able to save them. But Anubis gently reminds him that some things are meant to happen, and Nico doesn't blame himself as much, especially once they emerge from the Doors.

Eventually he tells the Seven. He introduces them to Anubis and Brooklyn House. Everyone becomes really great friends. Nico has dinners with the Kanes. He visits Brooklyn House often, occasionally bringing Percy and Annabeth if they want to see Sadie and Carter again. He even brings the rest of the Seven sometimes. Eventually, he starts bringing Will.

Bast kind of dislikes Nico from the beginning, because of his connection to/the fact that he is hosting Anubis, but soon she grows to think of him as another of her kits.

When Hades finds out, he asks Anubis to show himself, so he makes another form and Hades chews him out (how could he be so irresponsible, does he have any idea the danger this holds for Nico, does he even know how to mitigate the damage that their powers combined will cause to Nico's body, etc) but it's clear he's just worried. When they explain they're okay Hades kind of unofficially adopts Anubis, despite them being from separate pantheons. Nico is Prince of the Underworld, and now by extension, Anubis is Prince as well.

Anubis helping Nico accept himself. Nico in my AU is non-binary and it takes him a while to come to terms even longer to accept that he doesn't have to look a certain way just because of his gender or because of his being the child of Hades. Anubis helps him realise that he can wear colours, he can be pastel and soft and still be badass and not be any less non-binary– and absolutely the Ghost King while being adorable and fluffy and rainbow.

So yeah. Basically Nico as the host of Anubis.

You can just see the autism huh

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

Danny Phantom (and technically optional crossover) Prompt

Imagine, if you will, a not-aging Danny Fenton. There’s about a dozen ways to do this, but in this case—Danny still has a human lifespan, he just looks human (though, I won’t argue against any immortal Dannys). As Fenton, he’s just stuck at fourteen. Phantom, being a ghost whose appearance is based on what he sees himself as, does look older. By this point, he’s probably retired from superheroics—I just find unphased and jaded 18 year old Danny to be hilarious. So, he’s just like ‘I wanna go to college’.

So he does. He just. Always looks 14. His hair grows, he can build muscle, and he can definitely have dark eyes—but otherwise? Short ass 14 year old. He constantly has to prove that yes, he’s the real Danny Fenton, and no, this is not a scam. He eventually has to get meta-specific paperwork filled out—no need for the genetic test if the power is fairly obvious. (Of course, it’s possible to do this AU as not crossover, but then you’ll have to do the legwork of making it less odd that someone has superpowers, and whether that means everyone knows he’s Phantom, which might change some of the issues. It also doesn’t have to be DC, for instance, you could use Marvel or even My Hero Academia—ultimately, up to the writer.)

Anyways, he gets his degree(s), enters the workforce, and by the Ancients is it hard to be taken seriously. Even people who see his paperwork and know for a fact he’s a full fledged adult are just like, aw, poor kid, can’t even reach the top cabinets without stretching or climbing. So, while he could just keep being the most qualified 14-looking-adult, he’s quickly getting sick of it. He can’t even be a school teacher, none of his students will take him seriously! Not even the younger ones, cause even the other teachers aren’t respecting him.

There are about… three options available to him, up to whoever wants to pick up this sort of prompt.

1-he gets into acting or modeling. Or perhaps, stunt acting. And everyone is just a bit unnerved about how absolutely none of the nonsense seems to get to him, and he’s just… a little *too* bendy sometimes. He’d make a great scare actor, if he wasn’t terrible at scaring people.

2-he goes into the work force as Phantom in a cheap wig and terrible contacts. Half the time, he forgets at least one contact. Cue mystery of who the hell this guy is, because, for ONCE, someone actually paid attention to the paperwork and knows that he DOESN’T look like THAT.

3-he tries to get work in a slightly more remote position, where his colleagues are few to none. Of course, that is, until some hero or another such professional has to meet him in person, and gets one hell of a shock about who their expert on the computer has been all this time.

There’s of course the undercurrent of Danny’s experiences as a teen hero, so sometimes absolutely wild situations show up, and his stories are like, super weird. He thinks at least SOME of his experiences must be universal, and they’re… really, really not. The outlandish stories don’t help the whole ‘not taken serious’ thing, but then they turn out to be true. Bonus points to rogues or ghosts showing up to say hi and everyone is like WAS THAT A FUCKING DRAGON?! And Danny’s just like ‘yeah she was a beauty pageant coordinator in my hometown, we kept in touch. I helped put her brother in jail’. As if that did NOT just raise more questions than before.

Of course, use or don’t use what you want (such as, he does keep a public-ish position, or he just goes full villain to prove a point, or even somehow starts working undercover at schools and summer camps for xyz reasons, whether or not the Justice League finds him, what his degree(s) weee even in, etc etc), I just think that Forever Teen Danny stories are interesting.

Basically… it’s reverse Shazam, haha.

[kaythefloppa]

You know what, fuck it, cringe culture is dead. Here are some highlights of the Lion Guard/Wild Kratts crossover AU that I had drafted out in my head as a 9-10 year old watching both shows in 2016, but never got around to publishing. Also note that the continuity is absolutely shit because once again, this was conceptualized by an elementary student who hadn't discovered what fanfiction was.

Kion and Bunga being the lion and honey badger that show up in Honey Seekers during a very rocky patch in their relationship. Bunga and Sweet-Tweet would be in an on-off relationship (this was before S3 so Binga didn't exist, and also this was before the honey badger/honey guide symbiosis thing was proven to be bullshit because it is bullshit.)

Fuli being Spot-Swat's mother after a much-needed glowup. Suffers post-traumatic stress due to natural selection taking one of her cubs (a very unfortunate fact of cheetahs). Given how Blur is shown to attack Zach upon mistaking him for a vulture (hmmm), the ammo is right there.

Makuu being the mate of Crocodilla, and the biological father Frederica, Jawsana, Snappifer, Munchette, Crunchina, and Chompella. He happily accepts the soft-shell turtles as his daughters given his own upbringing where he was raised with turtles as his foster-brothers (that last bit was a headcanon I coined around a year or 2 ago, but inspired by the show).

Beshte being an expy for Tusker who is leading the pod (once again, waaay before S3 came in). He is not the friendly happy-go-lucky kid you see in the show. Has killed before. Will kill you. He figuratively and literally eats crocodiles for breakfast. Hippos are fucking assholes.

That being said, he could not be a more protective father towards Hipster O-Potamous.

I coined a headcanon of Ono being raised by a peregrine falcon since they live all over the world and thus would gain the knowledge that he does in the show. To add to that, I like to imagine Aviva creating a translation device to talk to an understand animals, and it becomes 2 hours of the brothers completely nerding out with Ono.

The WK villains often targeting the TLG characters. Donita capturing Dogo and his sibs to use as hats, Zach wanting Makuu and his float as Guard bots, Gourmand intending to cook Janja (karma?) and Paisley demolishing Ma Tembo's valley. Kion and the Lion Guard occasionally teaming up with the Kratts to beat the villains and both sides being utterly surprised by the others abilities.

Stomp the Secratarybird having this unexplained beef with Ushari, making it well known that he is his Nemesis.

Zooboomafoo making an appearance in the Pride Lands (cause why not) and he instantly becomes fresh meat for the monkeys of the Pride Lands and had to be guarded at all costs.

The Cheetah adopted episode but it's with Pumbaa and Fuli/Blur having a custody battle over Spot-Swat.

The vultures being captured by Gourmand in the S1 finale being Mzingo and his flock and although out they just have back and forth political banter with the other raptors.

Replace at least one of the servals with a caracal cat and have it be Hang Time.

[starwritingbri]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tag @theblueeyedfirebender!! I appreciate it! 💙💙

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

42! (And I have a backlog of at least 10 unpublished things I'm working on)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

667,317

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Predominately, I wrote for Lockwood and Co, but recently I dipped my toes into Fullmetal Alchemist because I've had so much inspiration to work with.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lucy's Letters

I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside

No grave can hold my body down

How to be a Heartbreaker

Coming Home to a Forgotten Melody

All Lockwood and Co fics, which tracks for now 😂

5. Do you respond to comments?

Absolutely! I always stress that my responses to comments aren't enough, but I appreciate comments so much that I absolutely want to show some of that gratitude and interact.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Most of them Somewhat kidding. I do tend to lean into an angsty ending only because you know what will come to pass if it's canon compliant, I don't feel the need to rehash it. The angstiest so far is probably she lost her sense of light, she has to hold my hand. Main Character Death will do that, but I think a whumptober fic I've got ready for Day 2 will end up topping this.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'd say a toss up between Melody and I'll Be Home for Christmas.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Once or twice, but I have a good support system. Fic hate is so wild to me because it's free work people do out of pure joy for the material. If you don't like something, just don't read it? And if you're a new writer who received hate, don't let them stop you. Someone in the world will love your story and a hater says more about that person than it does about you!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have ONE smut fic. Just the one. I've wanted to try a couple other times, most recently for smutober, but it's just not something I really enjoy doing. I just enjoy writing other things more, personally. Power to those who can/do!

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not really? Like, I'll put the characters in a different world, but I haven't written a true crossover yet.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so, but who knows? There's so much content out there.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not really, aside from a friend helping with some French phrases on a fic, but I'd be so down for it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet!!! But Bugs and I have been prepping (and she's actually managed to write some one shots) on a FMAB Soulmate AU we're planning. I'm super excited for that, and would definitely be open to working with other writers too!

14. What is your all-time favorite ship?

I don't know if I can definitively say a favorite ship, but let me tell you, my favorite ship dynamic is very clear. Couple who have copious trauma, are absolutely soulmates in every sense, but they never kiss in canon.

Royai, Locklyle, Kanej

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Gahhhh, I want to say I have every intention to finish all my fics, because I really want to, but that Harry Potter fic that was my first ever dive into fanfic... I love the character I made and how the plot of the story grew. I know how it's supposed to end. But just...HP, right? It's hard to want to go back with everything that has happened with the author and all that jazz. So it's probably never going to be finished, and that does make me sad.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Metaphors, I've been told. I think I'm also good at creating emotion with my work and bringing humanity into what I'm writing.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

How much time do we have..... Kidding, but it can be really hard to uplift your work and really easy to tear it down. I know I can get long winded, I feel like I've got phrases I overuse or that characters end up sounding the same. I'm going to stop myself before I end up absolutely unraveling my confidence here.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I did this once, and it was difficult. I ended up having a friend offer to translate for me after she read it because it came off stilted and she's a native speaker. Bless her. I would love to do more because language has always fascinated me, I just don't have the ability myself to do it the justice it deserves.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The usual for someone my age - Harry Potter. I still have a soft spot for it getting me into fanfic and helping me write even when I didn't have a lot of ideas going on.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This is so hard, but I think it has to be Coming Home to a Forgotten Melody because I'm just so proud of it. It was a NaNoWriMo fic, and I wrote like 93k words in a month. Fun fact: I've fully edited it myself to be an original work. It's been looked at fully by a couple friends and then it's with one last person with a couple chapters left before I can start shopping for agents 🙈

Going to tag: @luckylolabug, @lenacarstairspotterstewart, @polithicc, and anyone else who'd want to do it! This was fun!

[jinngerleaf]

Can you write a Pjo marvel crossover centering around Annabeth in an au where Tony stark is annabeths uncle or something. I'm im just spit balling.

YES i'm not super into marvel but I'll try.

Tony stark is definitely the uncle that annabeths parents sent her to whenever she was misbehaving or they just didn't want her in the house- and annabeth would LOVE it. Like she's an architecture nerd of course she's gonna be exploring that place too to bottom and playing with all of the machines. Tony starts off being absolutely tired of her shit but eventually maybe annabeth will like help him build something or solve a problem in an invention he was doing and he'll realize like- holy shit this girl is smart. They'd talk about engineering and architecture for hours. But after Annabeth ran away, she didn't see her uncle for a while of course. And no one at camp would believe that tony stark was her uncle. That was until she went on her first quest- and her and percy showed up on the news. Tony would use all his resources to find his lost cousin and reach out to her (somehow, maybe after she went home for the first time idk lmao). Then boom!! Annabeth in the Avengers?? I think she would be more of a side member- she's too busy with demigod stuff to actually fight- she'd help with building suits and battle plans ect. Then, once percy hears that annabeth is literally related to tony stark who's iron man- he'd absolutely go wild. Annabeth probably didn't really know who the avengers were bc she ran away so early on- but percy's definitely an avengers fanboy.

[duckuwu]

i do think about how i resisted kpop for so long

and then the one group to snatch me is the princess one.

i dont remember if i've talked about how it happened here before (probably), but... i've had two really close friends (who are both online and semi in person friends) who've been into kpop for many years now. and they kept talking about it, and the specific groups they like, and they kept trying to bring me into it. (just like there's some of you tumblr buddies who were also trying to assist me in that) but i just wasnt vibing w anything they sent.

but they were trying for years, and also getting such genuine joy out of it too, that i felt bad that i couldnt join them on the journey.

so i went to pandora and had it play me a kpop playlist.

and most of the tracks were skips for me. but there were some songs that i really vibed with.

they were always IVE. (okay, sometimes le sserafim would sneak in with newjeans. (enhypen was there too, my boys [pets gently]) but their tracks were hit and miss, whereas every single IVE track that came on...)

so i went to the music videos. went with the track that i loved the most: love dive. and i was like: oh, i get it now.

like, listen, the track is a fuckin bopperino. it's been in the top 100 of korea charts since it was released (it just left this weekend). but there was just something about these young women's attitudes. they know their worth and dare you to like them. dare i say...they were cocky? and the hook of the song "narcissistic, my god I love it" (and how there is some humour in it, but also they're just being honest too). and yeah. that's just what i've been wanting from female pop for decades. confident, cheeky, intelligent, not pandering to the male gaze.

...but now that i've been in this for some time now (and have expanded my listening range). I think it was just simply that the right group hadn't found me yet.

i don't really know how to explain it to people who aren't in it, but all these different groups are put together with a certain style/vibe/personality/goal. like, especially once you get to know the personalities of the members of the various groups. so, like, whilst there might be some crossover with people liking various groups, there's going to be that ONE group that is THE GROUP for someone, the group that truly best suits someone's personality.

like, i'm IVE, and the way they are with each other and their personalities, senses of humour, confidence, the lyrics of their songs... are very much the exact fit for me. whereas one of my RL friends has aespa as their main group, and the personalities, sense of humor, attitudes etc, truly fit the personality of my friend too. the stray kids fans i've met vs ateez fans vs enhypen etc... like you meet them, you talk to them, it's very easy to see why that one group is their main group. and also why their bias is their bias. (bias = favourite group member). it's kinda wild to think about. and very much not at all ... you cant really find the same in western groups. 1D fans were all over the place, same for bsb & nsync, fifth harmony etc.

it's fascinating. obviously subversive marketing that really fucking works. lmao and yeah it's marketing, but it's also based on something real.

but i really do find it absolutely hilarious that it's the group with the princess aesthetic that snatched me. for years now people on tumblr have been like 'dreamcatcher is right up your alley' and aesthetically, i do get it. and yet here we are lmao i do love me my rich intelligent women with hearts of gold (hello lena luthor). we just dont really get to see it in media much. (but also, again, i do want to stress that auditorily and lyrically i was ensnared by them before i even saw the group and their personalities)

this was my first favourite track of theirs:

and this is my absolute favourite track of theirs:

i'll shut up now lmao. idek if anyone'll read this ramble but hey

and if there's any kpop fans (friends/long time followers etc) whove been in this for a minute, feel free to correct any of my wrong assumptions about how things are? i know i'm new. and i also know i've got a masters in IVE specifically, and that I've only glanced the surface of other groups. but when you've found your happy place, it's really hard to watch other things when you could be in your happy place. lmao

[torturedblue]

Has anyone thought about a 2012 apocalyptic future x Rise apocalyptic future crossover? 🤔

I know this fandom goes wild for future Rise boys x present Rise boys ‘crossovers’ and same for 2012 x Rise crossovers but now I’m really curious to see how the adult turtles from 2012 and then Rise would interact and compare notes when sharing war stories…

One of my reactors on Patreon just reacted to the Mutant Apocalypse arc that I have refused to watch again since it came out because ouch trauma, especially since I thought that was supposed to be the actual ending 🥲

But it makes me realizing when comparing that the 2012 boys didn’t even get to stay together like Rise did, and the Kraang successfully killed all the humans in the mutagen explosion.

The Rise guys at least got to stay together until each one died, but they also had to spend the entire apocalypse still fighting. Which makes it seem like 2012’s predicament is less horrible since their main concern is finding resources and survival, but if you think about that too, in Rise, even though they were fighting so long, the chance/opportunity to kill the Kraang and fix everything was actually an option all that time. They had lasting hope, however fragile and wavering. For 2012 all that stuff seemed pretty permanent. The desert wasteland and civilization gone as it once was… Not only that but they already lost the entirety of the human species which could never come back.

And now that I’m really thinking about it, there are no Kraang around in the post apocalyptic desert, so were they somehow destroyed in that mutagen explosion too, or did the remaining survivors of Earth somehow kill off the Kraang at some point? More likely, maybe after seeing the miserable wasteland that earth became, the Kraang left to go back to Dimension X or start over somewhere else with another planet. Unclear whether the mutagen bomb didn’t work how they wanted it to or maybe after the turtles interfering so much they just wanted to destroy the planet completely as vengeance and move on somewhere else

Now, in both worlds it’s mostly yokai/mutants left as the main population, either left fighting the fight or all the mutants just left surviving. The turtles’ kind became the mainstream population which is a lot to unpack. Despite being mutants and turtles living underground their lifestyles are so derived from how humans lived. Both their Splinter’s were once human and now their former species is (nearly) gone…

I also find the differences in how each group progressed in growing pretty interesting. The Rise turtles got to grow how they were supposed to for the most part, save for Mikey’s advanced aging and if you want to include Leo’s prosthetic arm later on. Whereas, the 2012 turtles vary much more differently in physical form than they’re supposed to and in comparison to each other:

Donnie’s a cyborg with only his human brain left, his body still resembling his teenage body rather than his much older current age

Mikey just barely grew at best, and practically mirrors Rise Mikey’s physical state, unfortunately 2012 didn’t keep his sanity 100% in tact though

And Leonardo was almost completely deformed from taking the brunt of the mutagen bomb and becomes absolutely freaking huge. Like probably bigger than Rise Raph huge

Raph seems to be the only one who grew in (comparatively) the least abnormal and most healthy way, resembling what the rest of his brothers would’ve likely grown to appear as had they not had the different health complications/deformities. He also resembles his Rise counterpart’s body build the most. I know many speculate Rise Raph would’ve only kept getting bigger and bigger as they transitioned into adulthood, and it seems 2012 follows that track as well with how large and aged he is

Not to mention their varying mental health… My god. Again, poor Mikey partially lost his mind, and even though he did have Chompy and Ice Cream Kitty to keep him company all those years it still takes a toll on the psyche to not have anyone around to actually converse with for so long. Out of all his brothers Mikey’s definitely seems like the one to need social contact the most for stability.

Raph can’t remember much of anything from their past life because of the mutagen blast. As far as we can tell he remembers enough about his brothers to see them as such, but we also know he doesn’t even remember Master Splinter, his own father who he knew since infancy

Leo completely lost who he was and forgot who his brothers were, not only that but becoming the very thing that is the complete antithesis of who he is: a villain. One that was rather similar to Shredder at that. And we can’t forget yet another parallel where he almost killed his little brother because he didn’t even know/remember who his little brother was

Donnie seems mostly the same at least when it comes to mental health and keeping a grip on reality, but I’d really like to know his true feelings on losing his physical body and becoming an android. They make it seem like it must not bother him much, and teenage Donnie pre-apocalypse might even find the idea really cool, but we saw how it affected Fugitoid and once that becomes a reality it’s a whole unavoidable mind fuck

Ack. Now I can’t get this out of my head. The adult apocalypse versions of these guys would have so much to talk about and honesty I think meeting more counterparts—especially from apocalyptic timelines —would be such a great comfort to both groups. With how much each side has lost having more family that survived would be a welcomed thing.

I’d love to see some other people or artists’ takes on this because holy crap the potential these apocalyptic universes have in meeting each other is freaking atomic, highly flammable, freaking radioactive

[modkatisbacc]

And Yet Despite coming up with an AU I am now creating a Crossover, because Im Horrible.

It's three in the morning.... Time to nfodump about the CROSSOVER of the au I recently posted about (WoWxNinjago)

Yall's fault for talking about the Source Dragons so much smh.

Takes place riiight before Legion starts, and the Legion finds The Merged Lands goes to destroy it. (WoW Verse)

Takes place right after s2 p2 (Which is horrible for several reasons, also putting a read more even if its been out a few weeks now) which means some things that happened in the finale... Don't Actually Quite matter anymore?

Now onto the Read More

By Right after s2 p2 I mean literally the day after. The people of the Merged Lands don't even get any warning before the skies turn green and great balls of green fire start raining down.

Which if the Merge killed tons of people (Debris, immediately getting murdered, etc) the Legion has brought that total down even more.

The Source Dragons, in a desperate attempt to save as many as they could called upon the Dragonflights for help (Dragons travel through different realms, Bronze Dragonflight different universes-timelines, yeah?) and have their prayers answered. The Source Dragons and Dragonflights save as many as they can, taking them to Azeroth.

Though, with Azeroth having its own issues, everyone is scattered across the world, in safe areas, yes, but seperated once again from their loved ones.

If the group were picked up together, they MAY have been dropped off at the same location. The Dragonflights also had to consider The Horde and Alliance, even if their war was at a standstill due to the new news about the Legion.

Lloyd and Ras were dropped off in Stormwind proper and both are injured upon arrival. Thankfully, the priests take good care of them... In the same small makeshift hospital room.

Lloyd: Wakes up first, freaked out seeing Ras. Immediately gets up and starts asking questions. He's more confused than angry, and he wouldn't snap at people who literally just saved his and several other lives.

(The Priests who healed them are the priest trainers in the Cathedral of Light, as I just realized I don't... have like any Alliance Priests/Healers that would even care about what's happening/aren't evil oops)

He is told to go speak with King Varian if he wants some of his questions on the green fire that attacked the Merged Lands answered.

Ras: Wakes up next, knows that Lloyd went to King Varian (The Priests told him) and surprising even himself, he just leaves. He cannot communicate with his master, and he feels lost. (He's still like... an antagonist. But since they're in a new universe and the Merge and literally nothing on Ninjago/the Merged Lands exists anymore, he's without a goal.) Yes this is setting up for him following a Wild God. Which one? I'd... have to do research for that.

May or may not change when we learn who his master is.

Kai, Cole, Nya, and Wyldfyre are dropped off in Ironforge.

Kai is the only real injury in the group, he is sleep deprived, hungry, and in terrible shape overall. The Dwarves take good care of them, and within a week of their arrival, Kai is well enough to finally walk around the Kingdom.

Everyone suggests they go speak to the Council of Three Hammers, and while Kai, Cole, and Nya deal with offical Council business, Wyldfyre and Dagran II become friends.

When Moira tells them that the Legion has invaded Azeroth (and failed) many times, the group wants to learn how to fight the Legion so Azeroth doesn't succumb to the same fate the Merged Lands did.

They are absolutely looking for each other the entire time, but unlike the Merged Lands they know nothing about Azeroth, while they'd been to some of the realms of the Merged Lands before.

Sora, Fritz, and Zane end up at the Exodar and despite the Draenei having the best priests around, are the only group that do not require them. Velen gives them the breakdown on what the Legion is, and how they overtook the world so quickly.

To his surprise, they immediately want to start training to learn how to fight back, since Azeroth has faced the Legion and lived to tell the tale before.

Geo, Bonzle, and Spitz are all sent to Orgrimmar. Yes, they are not human, nor do they look like any other Alliance race. Geo looks both Troll and Orc, Bonzle Forsaken, and Spitz, though the Horde haven't met them yet, Sethrak.

(Not much on these guys yet, but I intend on starting to writing asap!)

Vol'jin knows what the Sethrak are though its okay. (*Thumbs up* If he didn't, he does now!)

Though it wouldn't matter as long as Spitz wasn't visibly human, the Horde is freaking ACCEPTS people in this freaking family!!!

Geo was the only one physically injured, while Bonzle was still recovering from the Nether-Space, she is Really Messed Up from the whole... Turning into a portal thing ya know, though she doesn't really let it show.

At least MOST of the Finders got to stick together!

Jay, Arin, Roby, Skylor, Euphrasia, and Jordana all end up in Dalaran.

Imagine being Jay- considered a failure by the guy who 'saved' you and just walking off and leaving everything behind one day, and then the next a dragon grabs you and throws you into another world. Anyway, he wants a chance to redeem himself, so he offers to help Khadgar.

At least Khadgar isn't evil so uh at least Jay can get his confidence back and learn how to do good again (Don't plan on making Jay just snap back to his original self he is Working on it and he's forever changed sorry,,, love you Jay)

Arin is Very lost and scared. Like yeah this has happened to him before but this time he has no clue if he'll ever see anyone he knows ever again, especially Sora. Ras isn't there either, but the people in Dalaran know magic maybe one of the mages could help him find his parents and the others. (Also cough cough Garona is also in Dalaran so uh .. wanting to feel useful while having no powers?? Wonder who could be a great teacher for him..)

Roby is ENJOYING being in a giant flying city but is also very worried because he may be the games master (or was) but he's still like fourteen and his family is nowhere to be seen. Still has the staff that takes elemental powers, and the Magi are trying to see if it works with ALL sorts of powers, like Magi, Fel, Dark magic and the works.

Skylor and Roby meet soon afterwards and she immediately sees a younger her in him. When she was younger she wanted to be just like her father and seeing Roby who does the exact same things he did but like... Isn't Evil... 'oh hey free brother' time.

She meets Jay later and she almost immediately sees what's going on and tries to help with his memory, but doesn't try to force anything on him, so she stays close to him and they actually bond. (Platonic Serpent shipping in this, Serpentshipping has been brought to my attention lately and I loved their little interactions in Sky bound...)

Khadgar, upon mentioning to him that she ran a noodle shop immediately told the innkeeper of the Ledgermain Lounge and now she has a little noodle shop next door :)) *Dalaran should be way bigger than it is in game so*

Euphrasia left one floating city for another. Unfortunately the Cloud Kingdom was like directly in the Legions path when they came to the Merged Lands. She managed to save some people but many died, and she was heavily scarred from the Legions fire.

Pixal and Riyu are both sent to Dragonblight straight to the aspects, where the Source Dragons also flew to.

She's currently helping Khadgar go through scrolls that could help against the Legion while she's still recovering. (Also cough cough Morro may or may not be following her to make sure she's fine lol more on him later) this is also right after the Kingdom recovered from the ritual.

Jordana has absolutely no where to turn to after part 3, cant go to Ras, and feels she can't just go find Sora. When she learns that Dalaran teaches magic users, she decides the best course of action is to of course, become a mage.

Which is where the only OC I plan on using for this crossover comes in.

Amy Dawnhill, my half Mage Half Warlock Human, sees potential in her and wants to help her grow. Plus it's not like Amy is doing anything useful with her time during Legion.

The dragons thought Pixal was a titan construct so they took her there so they could check. Riyu is a young drake that they felt shouldn't be left alone so they also brought him along. The other dragons that escaped also went to Dragonblight.

The two are told about the Legion and get an Aspects view of what exactly the Legion is. They of course want to help, and maybe (hopefully) find their loved ones along the way.

Asp (that's what we are calling the bitty baby that was left when the Matriarch was killed right?) goes with them as well, wanting to explore the new world.

Riyu and Wrathion friendship WILL happen, enough said.

Wu, Garmadon, Vinny, and Misako all ended up in Darnassus. Yes it is because of the Wu-Garmadon Malfurion-Illidan Misako-Tyrande connections. And then there's Just Some Guy, Vinny. Who makes sure nothing goes wrong. Things will go very wrong.

I think it's funny.

Wu is back in his corporal form!!! He is going through it but man is he happy to see Garmadon and Misako again!! He looks MOSTLY human but with dragons horns/tail. He looks cool and not scary so the people of Darnassus look at him in amazement instead of fear.

He is trying to hunt down his freaking students and nephew and apparently these new kids he took under his wing??? He's so sure they're all alive,,, he has so much faith in them. He is also totally not blaming himself for the merge as well as the Legion attack now no why would he do that,,

Becomes friends with both Tyrande and Malfurion though the three often leave Teldrassil to search for everyone and to acclimate themselves to Azeroth.

They can go through it together, as the Immortal Trio!! Plus Vinny, who is the biggest champ that Azeroth has ever seen.

Garmadon is being taught how to shape shift back into his human form, as his oni form kind of scared the civilians. So he acts the exact same but he physically looks like Sensei Garmadon. Still dressed in green and all. He won't admit it openly but he freaking misses his SON and is worried about him.

Misako is trying to keep it together and is actually doing the best out of them. She KNOWS her son is alive and she's been heavily researching the Legion ever since she was allowed around the World Tree.

Since she isn't much of a fighter herself, though she can defend herself, she decides to join the Explorer's League from time to time. They all enjoy her input and are surprised she's so good with booby traps and curses.

It also helps that she can't be killed but hey... If no one else is questioning it then they won't either.

Fun Facts about this au!

There are crossover ships, I've decided. So far it's just Lloyd x Arator (Lightbulb shipping, I dub thee) I think they'd get along quite well, and are both in the same age group.

Platonic Serpentshipping (Jay x Skylor) because I wanna explore their relationship so much ,,, but also keep it in canon as much as possible since this is right after s2 p2.

Lost shipping (Cole x Geo) the resident Like 99 percent sure it's actually canon ship. The Bumbleby of Ninjago if you would.

Wusako (Wu x Misako) I don't know I think it's cute I love them. *I always operate on a 'the letter doesn't freaking happen' basis*

And that's about it for ships except any WoW canon ones that show up throughout.

- Everyone still has Elemental Powers.

- Will say right now, since the ninja are here there WILL be changes to Legions story but not TOO many, I still want BfA to happen in a way. To put those guys into situations, ya feel me? Will not elaborate on what all this entails.

- I do not have any Horde/Alliance bias. Trust.

- Everyone arrives a month before Broken Shore begins. So enough time to kind of adjust to how chaotic Azeroth is. Kind of.

- I am absolutely hiding a lot of information on how they're doing but like in the immediate aftermath of this I'd say that the ones going through it the MOST at the beginning are technically Euphrasia (is literally just running on auto pilot with Morro right behind her), Jay, and Wu. In that order.

Lloyd is always going through it but he knows Arin is okay so that's enough for him to be convinced everyone else be cares about is okay too!!

- "What about the Forbidden Five-" What about them? ;) (REDACTED) (REDACTED) (REDACTED) of course.

- Uhm Geo, Bonzle, and Spitz is our only Horde group so I am EXTRA excited to write around them. (No I don't have a bias towards horde nooo)

Anyone not mentioned in this will be mentioned in the story! (Parents and whatnot... Hmm..) You know if they're alive.

That is all for now. This will be added onto I am sure of it. I hope I get to start writing on this soon, maybe tomorrow.

Edit: hit the tag limit sorry guys shenddnfnk

Looks like I'm not adding everyone smh. Think I got every Ninjago character added thooo lol

[zee-has-commitment-issues]

20 questions for fic writers

Hey!!! Thank you @itsmadreia for tagging me! 💜

How many works do you have on Ao3?

28!

What's your total Ao3 word count?

565,230 and counting

What fandoms do you write for?

Just Young Royals at the moment, but I beta for other fandoms so I wouldn’t be opposed to also writing for other fandoms.

Top five fics by kudos:

1. Simon Eriksson: Just Some Guy From Biology (2,243)

2. Screwed (1,894)

3. Simon Eriksson: Not Really Just Some Guy (1,140)

4. Love Bites (1,118)

5. You Have Reached The Voicemail Box Of… (1,014)

Do you respond to comments?

I do my best! Sometimes I miss one or someone has commented on the same chapter like 5 times and I don’t want to spam them so I just reply all in one, but I do my best to respond to every comment!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The Last Time was absolutely the angstiest ending I ever wrote and it wasn’t even a Wilmon fic. It was about fucking Nilcent.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics end in happy endings so I don’t know how to pick just one!

Do you get hate on fics?

Only once and it was someone who made fun of me for making a grammatical mistake in my second language.

Do you write smut?

Actually yes now. Which is wild because six months ago I would have told you never in a million years and then I realized Reckless Abandon needed a sex scene for the plot. And now I’ve written 2 smut scenes? 3? Who’s counting?

Craziest crossover:

Not my fic, but I helped put Simon into @the-navistar-carol ‘s Top Gun fic Aftershocks!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not a whole fic, but a good portion of the third chapter of screwed got put into someone else’s fic word for word and they thought no one was going to notice 😭

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not translated, but turned into a podfic!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not exactly, but Dani and I help each other work out scenes quite a lot. Sometimes we’ll send each other a document and be like “I don’t know what to do please help”

All time favourite ship?

Wilmon! Although I do love writing some nilcent angst

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I had a dark fic but it was a thought before s2 and it was way too much work. Highly ambitious, very cool, but not doable with my current mental capacity.

What are your writing strengths?

I’ve been told I’m very good at characterizations. I’m really glad people feel that way.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Fucking grammar.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I don’t care really. I like to use it sometimes, mostly for terms of affection. It’s fun to throw it in every once in a while, see who’s paying attention lmao.

First fandom you wrote in?

Divergent lmao

Favorite fic you've written?

It’s impossible to pick just one, but I think I really loved the process of writing Reckless Abandon and Screwed the most out of them. Probably because they took the longest and I got to watch them grow in front of me.

No pressure tags: @the-navistar-carol @insomnaticwriter @allthefakepeople

[sssammich]

fanfic writer questions

Thanks for the tag, @foibles-fables

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

i'm at 122 right now (wahoo!)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

794,634 (i am on a mission to 1 million in the next couple of years)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

well i've been around many a fandom block, but i'd say for current brainrot:

supergirl (mostly supercorp, but i have a smattering of rare pairs because women, amirite?)

swan queen

bumbleby (i also still have so many rosebird dreams i'll get there someday)

makayuro (with a smattering of rare pairs also because women, amirite?)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

well unsurprisingly, ever since plopping down on supercorp fandom, the numbers have been from there. but shoutout to my victorious fic from 2012 holding strong lol

evergreen, closest i get, not for nothing, you've got mail, and one way or another

5. Do you respond to comments?

yes yes absolutely!! sometimes i am late and sometimes i just leave it in there so i can have it stay unread but anyway i try to respond and i appreciate everyone who sends them to me. i have historically been a oneshot writer so it's been nice also to get comments on wips!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh shoot angstiest ending?? well i think i would say my supercorptober ficlet about memory loss of sorts might tick that (it ends kinda idk open but not bad, i will say)

but then there's also this one old soccer RPF i wrote that's more, idk, poetry than any real fic about one of them leaving lmao

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

the happiest ending? i mean all of them, i reckon. if they end up together or have a promise of together then they count lmao

8. Do you get hate on fics?

uhhh none that i've seen? i mean if it's in the comments, no? but if it's elsewhere, then also no? i have been fortunate in that way

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

OMG YES I AM FINALLY IN MY SMUT ERA

uh i reckon comedy smut for now (read DickFic here) but the day is young and my doc is empty so who's to say

but i have dreams for some sad smut because i'd like to develop the range LMAO

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

surprisingly, i do not. what i instead do is just little spin through five fandoms at any given time and just confuse myself that way

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

unfortunately yes. twice now. once was for my victorious fic that was used for a 5th harmony RPF lmaooo

and then on thanksgiving weekend, the first chapter of Crepe AU was posted by an anonymous for a The Wilds ship (but my friends rallied to get it taken down so i didn't have to send a takedown form to ao3 while i was traveling home)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope but that would be totally rad

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i love fic writing group work so yes! i have a series of sad angsty women that i have with my best friend in my revue starlight fandom, and then, of course, @sideguitars and i have 'humans in the storeroom' (that reminds me it's my turn to write the next part smh)

i also like jumping into writing sprints or writing exercises with folks (like a round robin)

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

let's not do this, i shan't pick amongst my children

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

so far all my wips are things i wanna finish and will do my best to finish. i have a couple of retired wips that will just sit in my ao3 forever and i have made peace with them, though.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i wanna say characterization, pacing, emotional resonance, and a simple and natural writing style maybe

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

action?? plot??? proper AUs lmao

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i do not because i find i butcher it and also then i cringe lmao

19. First fandom you wrote for?

oh written for but never posted? hermione/ginny

posted for? god probably All My Children (bianca and maggie) when i was like a teenager hahahahaha

20. Favorite fic you've written?

sorry no can do i love them all because i wrote them and there are so many things i enjoy about them. but i will say that the writing events circuit i've done this past year (supercorp bigbang, bumbleby big bang, and swan queen winter solstice) are born out of a lot of labor of love and i'm really proud of the work i've done for them.

and not for a writing event, but i am also extremely proud of re:live for mayakuro fandom-- that one makes me think that if i never wrote for that fandom again, that that's a really good fic to end on)

No-pressure tags, of course: @sideguitars, @eqt-95, @fazedlight, @luthordamnvers, @vox-ex, and @waytooinvested

(yall have probably done this before but here it just in case!)

[pezhead]

I honestly found your marvellous account by accident and I’m so glad I did! I’ve been binge reading your amazing ‘Displacement’ crossover fic and I’m in absolute love with it! Which brings me to my question….

Would you be okay if I could narrate your story thus far on my YouTube channel? Full credit and links to you and your story will be given of course!

If not no worries but I just wanted to ask first before I started anything 😊

I’ve got a few other fics lined up to read (with authors permission) but yours sings so loudly I can’t get it out of my head! 😊🥰💜🐢

Sure! Go wild, I don't mind~👍

Just be sure to send me a link once you get started so I can check it out.

[dreaming-marchling]

fic writer meme

Thank you @smilebackwards for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 33

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 1,855,326 per my stats page - it's kind of wild!

3. What fandoms do you write for? My current two mains are Shadowhunters and Fast and Furious. I have in the past posted stories for Daredevil, Merlin, Harry Potter, Torchwood, The Defenders, Sherlock, Four Brothers and Suits. I have other fandoms I've started fics in but not finished/posted

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Day Forty Seven [7055] Set Free [4285] Marked in Trust [4132] Listen [3934] Four Centuries and Also Nineteen Years [3876]

5. Do you respond to comments? I respond to all comments while the story is in progress and then for probably a couple of months after it ends before I stop. Unless someone asks a specific question, then I always respond. I wish I could do all of them ever but life makes it hard.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I almost answered none of them before I remembered Addicted, which is about Brian and Dom hooking up during the first movie which I mostly wrote to prove to myself I could do smut. I'm pretty sure it ends with Brian realizing Mia (who he's supposed to be maybe getting together with as per the movie) heard them do that and Dom knew she would and from there Brian understanding that they're imploding even without him and the FBI.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Literally all the others, lol. I'm a happy ending girlie.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Yes, in the Shadowhunters fandom if I write Jace as a good parabatai. Occasionally for if I write Isabelle as a good sister or Clary as not a total piece of shit. Also sometimes if I write Alec in a way that suggests maybe Magnus isn't the greatest in the world who has suffered more than Alec ever will.

9. Do you write smut? Yes but I generally prefer the fade to black approach

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written? I've never written a crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of I don't think. I don't even know if I would want to know, like that would consume me in the worst way

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, but not as Marchling. All of the comments were telling me that the translator was changing things and it was a bad translation and the person doing it was getting really weird. It was just like a nightmare kind of so now I request no one translate my fics. I'm sure someone would do it better and I'm just being all oversensitive because I got burned once but I'd rather just not go down that road again.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, but also not as Marchling.

14. What's your all time favorite ship? I honestly don't think I have one, it really depends on my mood.

15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Oh absolutely. I have a couple of Shadowhunters stories that I doubt will ever be finished because they just don't want to be written I think. I love the ideas but the ideas don't love me

16. What are your writing strengths? I think I write dialogue well. I try to make sure that I include some sort of realistic recovery even if the story is shorter. I like to experiment with formatting to help tell the story and I think it's generally effective

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I can't write drabbles. I am not good at action scenes. I don't do enough description.

18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics? I've been corrected in the comments more than once, lol. I like to do the dialogue in another language but write the English in italics so even if I'm wrong everyone still knows what it was meant to be.

19. First fandom you wrote for? I was like 11 or 12 and I posted my first two stories at the same time. One for a fandom I won't name because they're still out there and it's small enough you could find them and I'd rather die. The other for Angel the TV series. I got more comments on the other fandom one and so I was embarrassed that the Angel one got way less and I deleted it lmao. Did I mention I was in middle school?

20. Favorite fic you have written? I am so proud of so many of my stories but I think the Marked in Trust series is always going to be just the tiniest bit extra special in my heart.

tagging literally anyone who wants to play

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

Corrupted, chapter 25: FLESH. A Malevolent x TMA crossover

To quote Jonny Sims, there's a lot going on here.

Tim's got enough on his plate, but his story is clearing bisecting a lot of others. What does this Michael want? What is Dahl's problem? Are those trees going to move?

At least they're finally in reach of a body for Hastur, and Tim did promise. Fulfilling that can't be a bad move. Can it?

Corrupted, chapter 25: FLESH. A Malevolent x TMA crossover staring Tim Stoker and the King in Yellow.

AO3

---------------

Jon is… not the most physically fit of individuals. It is possible he’s never rowed in his life. Tim has decided not to comment on all the puffing and moaning, as that would be cruel on top of everything else that’s happened today. It’s just another thing to go on the list.

For Tim, it’s been list time since they saw the island. They’re helpful, lists; keep things in order, on track, and prioritized, which otherwise would be lost or befuddled in the midst of mayhem and madness.

Item the first: this had not gone according to anyone’s plan, at least ostensibly. Jon was, they said, supposed to be sacrificed, and Tim sent along, passage paid. Oops.

Item the second: they had absolutely no idea where they were, but it was far too cold to be the North Sea—cold enough that this island with weird palm trees (also not right for the North Sea) made no sense.

Item the third: who had knocked on Tim’s door? If that someone hadn’t knocked, it all would have gone down as planned, and he wouldn’t have known anything happened. Oh; but then there would not have been a several week journey north, not at all, because Tim would have realized Jon was gone, lost his shit, and burned the ship with such heat that the bodies would be unsuitable for fish food.

Instead, someone had knocked, setting off the series of events that ensured Tim and Jon went together. Together, to… wherever this was.

At last, they pull the little life raft onto the shore, far enough up the icy, black-stone beach that they cross over to soft, silver sand. The air changes from frigid to funky at once, humid and hot, as if they literally took a single step into another world. Tim sits down at once, giving into exhaustion with a will. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this sore.”

Jon stares past him into the thick, strange jungle. “Me, neither,” he says, but it sounds perfunctory, like maybe he isn’t aware of the blisters on his hands right now, or the slight tremor in his entire scrawny form.

Tim eyes him. “Hey. Maybe sit down before you fall down, yeah? Not that I’m not convinced of your Herculean powers, but we’ve got nowhere to be, and whatever this is, I think we should be at our best.”

Jon’s face is a journey. “I know you’re right,” he says. “But I’m so desperate to know what in blazes this is and how it got here.”

“It’s not going anywhere.” Tim pats the sand next to him. “Don’t make me wield the oar at you in some ill-planned attempt to make you rest.”

Jon scoffs at him, but sits. It takes him a moment to do so without simply falling over.

“Now, aren’t you glad you didn’t go traipsing into the wild unknown?” says Tim.

“I suppose,” Jon drawls, and rests his forehead on his knees.

This… this doesn’t feel as it should, says Hastur.

“No, really?” says Tim. “Which part tipped you off? The ice floes or the abrupt transformation to Bali?”

“It’s not Bali,” Jon mutters pedantically into his knees. “Those are walking palms. Socratea exorrhiza. Endemic to South America, known for the urban legend that they ‘walk’ via those roots in search of sunlight, up to three centimeters a day. Complete bunkum, of course.”

Well, if that didn’t sound like some Fear-god shit, Tim’s head is an apple. He peers over his shoulder, adrenaline souring his mouth. They didn’t appear to be walking yet. “Three centimeters a day, you say?’

“They don’t,” says Jon. “It’s been heartily disproven, just shared by opportunistic tour guides and idiots online for clout.”

Tim swears he can feel those roots reaching for him already, digging into his back. “I don’t suppose you know where we are? Is this South America?”

“No,” Jon groans. "The sand is wrong."

No, says Hastur. And I should… Tim! We’re not alone!

Tim springs to his feet.

Down the shore, on the edge of the tree line, the shape of a man lying flat on the sand is easy to miss. He’s not moving; the weird dappling shadows from these trees hides him (and surely the palm trees in question aren't usually shaped like that, roots curving, branches asymmetrical, fronds somehow sharp, like a giant preying mantis).

“Shit!” Tim says, and scrambles up.

Be careful!

“What?” says Jon, finally looking away from the trees. “Where are you going? Hey!” he rolls over, staggers raggedly to his feet, and follows and by the time he gets there, the secret is already revealed.

Tim stares at the man at his feet. “It’s that guy. The one who came to get us at my uncle’s.”

Jon stares, too. “Tadeas Dahl?”

Tim toes him.

Dahl lies still, breathing, eyes closed. He’s bruised; it doesn’t look like he made contact with fists, exactly, but something with pointy corners and splinters.

Jon kneels and checks for a pulse at his throat.

“Well?” says Tim.

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” Jon says, blushing darker and pulling his hand away.

Check him for weapons.

“Right,” says Tim, who hates that this is a good suggestion, but knows he must. “Learning new skills every day,” he says, rummaging awkwardly through this man’s salt-soaked clothes. “Never thought I’d add looting the unconscious to my resume.”

One never knows when such things might come in handy, after all, says Hastur in a shaky tone.

“Sure, but maybe tone down the sexiness while I'm riffling a body, yeah?” Tim teases in return, just as shaky.

Jon missed all such hints. “Why is he here?”

“Not a clue. Maybe if he wakes, he can tell us.”

Jon looks into the woods. He swallows. “I need to see what’s in there.”

Tim is beginning to understand the need to do things—to respond to hunger so natural that one cannot distinguish it from one’s own. He knows he wanted to burn Lukas' ship. The Desolation made it worse, but the anger is all his. It is a sobering thought. “Can you hold off?”

Jon shivers. “For now.”

“Let’s… maybe not break anything, but grab some fallen leaves and shit and start a fire, yeah?”

“Yeah,” says Jon hesitantly. “If we can gather enough to burn.”

Tim does not say and assuming the trees don’t decide to come after us because that’s just asking for trouble. "Hang out here. I'll bring something back."

I’ll keep an eye on the trees. Don’t worry.

“You can only see what I can see, mate,” says Tim.

I meant setting up perimeter spells.

Tim blinks. “We can do that?”

We can. And happily, the worst case is you overpower them, and we are alerted to every bug and shadow.

“Not great for sleeping, if we’re going to do that, but I see your point,” says Tim. “We'll set them up when I get back. All right. Jon, stay with the guy, okay?”

“Okay.” Jon is all eyes, and looks like he feels very small.

Tim puts his hand on Jon’s shoulder. “You’ll be all right. If he stirs, shout. We’re just going there. Not far. All right?”

Jon gulps. “All right.”

“Girding loins, etcetera, etcetera,” says Tim, and nervously approaches the tree line.

#

One would think palm trees grew closer to the ocean than this. He’s seen pictures, though not like these; these ones begin in a sharp row as if they’d been planted. (Or, his brain supplies, as if they’re soldiers mustered and waiting for orders.) “I’m not doing so well at the not-freaking-myself-out portion of our operation,” Tim murmurs.

Tim… even if those things turn out to be literal monsters that can tromp after us, you have so much power that you could blow the whole lot to smithereens. I am not concerned for our safety in that sense.

“Can’t tell if that’s reassuring or not, if I’m honest,” says Tim, inching closer. So far, none of the palms have moved. None he sees, anyway. Gods, they’re freaky things, main trunks bent over like old men, numerous roots or branches or something digging into the ground at angles like too many legs. “Whoever designed these things needs their head checked,” he says.

Or their hearts. Fear is never rational.

“I wouldn’t say never,” says Tim, crouching so as to put as little of himself as possible under the auspice of those weird shadows. “It’s often very rational.”

Hmph.

“Eloquent.”

I have better things I want to do with my tongue.

Tim pauses. That’s distraction-flirting, or he’s a Yorkshire pudding. “I’m scared, too. It’s okay to be scared.”

Hastur sputters denial like an overfilled kettle.

“Hey. I mean it. I hardly mind the flirting—it’s my native tongue, after all—but I learned a while ago it doesn’t really substitute for communication, do you feel me?”

Hmph.

Tim laughs this time. “Good job on the using-your-words portion of the convo.”

I don’t need to be psychoanalyzed. It would hardly do you any good, anyway. I’m alien to you, inhuman. A being beyond psychological—

Tim puts the tip of Hastur’s index finger into his mouth and sucks.

Hastur inhales and goes silent.

“Sure. Totally different,” says Tim. “I just tasted salt water and whatever this undergrowth is to prove you're not, because I’m quite sure I know what you’re thinking right now, so I think I win.”

For fuck’s… you… that was so filthy!

“It was fine, Hastur,” says Tim. “I mean, it’s not like we have fresh water here, anyway. You’re going to have to get used to it.”

Hastur stills. You’re right. We will need to conjure it.

“That’s a thing I need to be careful with, yeah? Last thing I need to do is wash us off the spooky island and back into the frozen sea.”

Maybe. It’s certainly something to keep in mind as a last resort.

“Don’t think you made me forget what we were just talking about, by the way,” says Tim. “We—”

“Hello!” says a bright male voice, positively chirping.

Tim spins.

Utterly incongruous, a man stands there in the shade of the jungle. His hair is long, curly, and frames a smile that somehow leaves Tim in doubt as to just how many teeth there are. The guy is at least six and a half feet tall, wearing sneakers, jeans, and a button-down shirt designed in vertical, yellowish patterns that should be symmetrical but just… aren’t… quite.

Tim stares. “Uh. Hello?”

“Care for some flowers?” says the weirdo, and holds up a small bouquet of lilies. “Picked them up to play with someone else, but then I didn’t really know what to do with them anymore.”

Tim. Hastur’s tone is even, careful, measured. That is not a human being.

Blondie laughs, throwing his head back (and the number of teeth has definitely changed). The sound is terrible. It bounces around Tim’s skull, making him wince, feeling like the morning after a bender and struggling to get out of bed. “You! Calling out one such as me! Hilarious!”

Tim doesn’t want to take a step back. He wants to stay brave in the face of this, courageous and sure, but being near this thing is… dizzying. After a moment, he realizes one of the reasons why: the sunlight patterns and shadows this thing casts do not at all match his surroundings.

Tim steps back. “So. You’re the, uh. Game glitch avatar, is it?”

The thing laughs again. His eyes—which were blue, maybe, maybe—have become spirals, swirling like some attempt at cartoon hypnosis, but all it gives Tim is nausea.

He steps back again. “Right. Um. Nice to meet you. Keep your flowers. I, uh. Can’t really eat them, which is about the only interest I’d currently have, so.”

“Here, we’d been concerned as to your arrival,” says the guy, unmoving (except he’s closer than he was, isn’t he? Or maybe Tim is misremembering), and grins again. There’s something green stuck in his teeth this time. “An avatar of the Desolation, here? In our place of ritual? Oh, no no, that isn’t allowed. You know we don’t poach, people or places or ponies all. But then we realized you were the one we waited for.”

He’s closer. He’s definitely closer.

Weirdly enough, that isn’t what upsets Tim in the moment. “I’m not a bloody avatar.”

The being tilts his head; his hair moves wrong as it slides across his shoulders, dangling not quite straight down to his left. “No?”

“No.” Tim swallows, clenching his fists and wondering if magic would work on this thing.

“Twisting of truth is my bread and butter,” says the being, who is suddenly so close that if Tim leaned forward just as little, he could bite the guy’s nose.

(Was he always that close? Tim can’t remember. It suddenly seems like his thoughts are being overwritten, left double-exposed and uncertain.)

Okay, this is enough weirdness for today. “I,” Tim says, “am going back to the beach where my pet nerd and our uncouth prisoner await. You, I suggest, stay here in your… ritual forest. Whatever that’s about. We want nothing to do with it, all right? This was an accident. The boat. We aren’t here on purpose, if you pick up what I’m laying down. Yeah?”

“Oh, it’s far too late for that,” says the being. "Besides: you were expected."

Well, shit, thinks Tim, because that means dealing with a spiral-haired weirdo is next on his list. “Oh,” he says. “Ah,” he adds. “Well, let me, uh. Go. Get that fire started, so we can be warm, you know, human bodies and all, and then we can have a real heart to heart, you know, get it all out on the table?”

Another head-tilt in the other direction (or… maybe the same direction). “An official request?”

Tim has no idea what that means. “Sure?”

And another smile, brilliant, this time with teeth that seem to be studded with diamonds. “Knock yourself out.”

Tim backs away.

The guy doesn’t move.

Tim turns around.

The guy is right in front of him.

Tim yips a yip he wishes he had not yipped, and is fairly sure a few dignity-points have been tragically lost.

“One thing,” says the being. “To be here in company of Eye and Lonely is… curious? Unplanned for, at the least.”

“That’s me,” Tim blurts. “Curious!”

“No, I think that’s him,” says the guy, pointing back at Jon, which is when Tim realizes his hands are… long.

Really long.

Those fingers are like horrible spider-nightmares, unevenly jointed, graceful and alien and pointed like knives.

Tim makes one low sound in his throat.

“How very curious, indeed!” says the guy, and laughs.

That laugh. Tim winces, reaches up to press both sides of his head as if his brain were trying to escape—and in one momentary, teary blink, the guy vanishes.

“Oh, what the fuck,” Tim moans.

That… that was…

“A hell of a guy at parties, no doubt,” Tim mutters, and staggers back toward Jon, stumbles, and stops. “The… the grade of the beach is… different? Than it was?”

No, says Hastur quietly, almost gently, which is just a little bit terrifying. This is how it was.

“Ah. Ah-ah. Ha ha! My memory of it’s fucked then,” Tim says so cheerily he feels like he could take off into the clouds like an out-of-control helicopter.

Oh, Tim… it’s all right. I’ve got you. Your equilibrium is slightly off, but you’ll be fine. Take it slowly.

“Thanks, I guess,” Tim mutters, and trips his way back toward Jon.

#

Tadeas Dahl has woken up, sat up, and looks like absolute hell.

The bruises and marks on his exposed skin are rough and scraped, confirming Tim’s thought that he may have had an “accident” on some crates. Dahl’s gaze immediately locked onto him.

They’d made a little fire pit.

Tim remembers he was supposed to bring branches or something. “Oops,” he says, and flops beside them.

“Where’s the tinder?” says Jon.

“In the app store,” says Tim, and proceeds to laugh like a loon.

“Wh… what?” says Jon, staring.

“It is the result of his encounter,” Dahl ground out like the seaworthiest seaman who ever sailed the seas. “Give him time. He will recover.” His focus stayed on the fire pit, however, which he considered grimly. Moving stiffly, he shrugs out of his heavy peacoat, tears off one arm, and dropped it in the center. “That’ll light,” he says like grinding rocks.

“Um,” Jon says. “Maybe, but it won’t stay lit.”

“He can keep it lit.” Dahl does not move. Does not look up.

Jon looks at Tim, anyway.

This is news to Tim. “I can?”

“Yes. You need nothing to burn in order to blaze.” Dahl says this staring at where the fire ought to be, seated cross-legged, his face craggy and dirty and grim.

“Huh,” says Tim.

“No,” says Jon, drawing the word out.

Tim is not going to try—he knows better—but Jon is too much fun to tease, and he holds his hand over the spot in question. “So… you’re saying that with a little bit of willpower…”

“Tim, no,” Jon says in the exact tone one might use to chide a cat.

Don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh, Tim thinks, and flexes his fingers. “Just a little bit of will…”

“Tim!” Jon says, all stern, and Tim loses it.

“Sorry, sorry!” he says, laughing. “Sorry! I won’t do it, don’t worry. Got no desire to burn us to death on an impossible island in the middle of the ocean, yeah?”

“That’s too bad,” says the weird curly-haired new guy from the woods. (Who had been there? Or just sat down? Or was already there when Tim arrived? Or—)

Jon yips like a trod-upon goose and scrambles backwards, kicking sand, so Tim takes that as a no.

The guy smiles at all of them, appearing perfectly human if weirdly tall, and then winks at Dahl. “Parties are fun!”

Dahl doesn’t answer.

“Are we having a party?” says Tim, leaning away, telling himself not to run because that brings the predators out of the shadows.

And the guy looks right at him, only… not at him, not at all, but the one who hides inside. “That depends on our guest of honor, doesn’t it?”

“Wh… wha… what is… wha…” Jon pants, staring at the guy like he’s never seen a person before.

Who, almost predictably, turns his head around fully like some wig-wearing owl to grin at Jon.

Jon makes a sound. It is not a good sound. It is the sound, perhaps, a bird might make when beginning to drown.

Tim redirects. “Mind explaining that, friend?”

The head swivels back around. “Oh… I’m not your friend. That would require personhood, which I distinctly lack. If you want to call me anything, you may use Michael.”

“May use? Not your name, then? We going with pseudonyms?”

“It is a real name,” says Michael whoever.

“Spiral,” Dahl grinds out, as if the act of speaking is costing him in blood. “Stop fucking talking to it.”

Michael laughs and waggles too-long hands in Dahl’s direction.

“It’s his island,” Jon says, barely audible.

Tim swallows. “What?”

Jon shakes like a wet puppy. “His. It’s all his. Twisted like… like he is. It’s his.”

Michael curls forward, propping his chin on his abruptly normal hands. “His. Ownership is such a silly concept; it requires a degree of identity I can’t ever retain. Let’s call it an interesting location.”

“Should, uh, we go?” says Tim. “Are you telling us to go?”

“You behave as though we didn’t have an appointment already arranged. Are you confused?” Michael’s eyes have gone twisted again, swirling like endless sinkholes. “That would be lovely.”

You, says Hastur suddenly. You have the god-flesh?

“Do I?” says Michael.

“Wait. This is Sannikov Land? Near the Arctic fucking circle?” says Tim.

“It was. Perhaps it is again?” says Michael.

“So I didn’t fucking conjure it by hoping for warmth! Ha!” Tim says, and laughs with relief, running his hand through his hair.

Dahl looks at him. Peers.

“What an interesting thought,” says Michael. “Does what you wish for usually appear? That strikes me as terribly helpful, or possibly terribly inconvenient, depending on whose side of things receives.”

Distortion, Hastur abruptly snarls. I need that flesh.

“Easy, there,” Tim murmurs, because this situation is pretty fucked up.

Where is it? Where?

Michael laughs. Just laughs, and the experience is like being knocked on the head with a hammer. Tim gasps and covers his ears. Jon keels over, eyes rolling back.

Dahl stares at Michael hard, very hard, so very hard, and yet the act of his focus seems to be dimming things, as if he’s summoned a fog from the impossibly cold sea.

Before Tim has a chance to so much as shout, he’s alone.

#

He leaps to his feet. He can see no one; no silhouettes, no shadows. “Jon!” he shouts. His voice goes nowhere, as if swallowed. “Hastur?”

I’m here. Hastur sounds breathless. I’m here. Fuck. It tried to take me.

“To… to what? What tried to what?” says Tim, taking a step back into nothing, away from nothing. He can see nothing, not even his feet, not even his hands if he holds his arms out. “Shit,” he mutters.

It’s all right. I know what happened, and I think… I think we are going to be given a dreadful rescue.

“What?” says Tim. “Jon! Jon!”

Wherever he is, Tim, he can’t hear you. Can’t you feel where we are?

Oh. Oh, Tim can feel it. Distant. Separated. Abandoned. Forever wandering, never seeing a beloved face, never even having a real conversation. Never connecting.

Yes. He knows where they are. “The Lonely is a fucking place.” And he trips over something behind him and goes down hard.

Tim!

“What in hell… oh, gods.” It’s a tombstone. Weather has eased its markings, or maybe they were never there, and it’s only age-pitted evidence that an unknown body lies there.

Abandoned even in death. It is the loneliest fucking thing Tim has ever seen. He’s frozen.

Tim. You’re all right. I’m with you.

He’s not alone. “It tried to take you?”

It did. It couldn’t. Hastur sounds confused over that, torn, as if he’s not sure if it’s good or bad. I don’t know why not. Even if you’d had Jon in your arms, you would have lost him.

Tim can’t stop staring at the anonymous stone. “It’s your spell, and you don’t know how it works?”

Not here. We are not in a place, Tim. We are inside a being, feeding off our fear and agony. I don’t care to give it too long to figure out if it can pry us loose.

“Rescue, you said? And what the fuck was Dahl doing?”

I believe he panicked.

And then from directly behind them comes Michael’s voice: “He did! Ah, well. Not everyone can be… level-headed.” And that laugh bounces out, sharp angles in soft mist, a knife through angel food cake, and Tim spins toward it with his hands in fists as though to knock it out of the air and discovers, instead of Michael, a yellow door.

It’s just sitting there, solid as you please, its frame and knob both black.

Our rescue, says Hastur.

“What,” Tim states, and walks around it. Of course, there’s nothing on the other side.

Dahl summoned his god, but we are in a place of non-existence. The Spiral—with whom our illustrious boss Bouchard has made whatever deal—intends to follow through.

“Or betray us in a spectacular manner,” says Tim.

Maybe. It’s better than this. We need to get out of this.

Tim shivers. “What happens if it pries you free?”

I… don’t know.

“Do you die?”

I don’t know, Tim.

What an absolutely insane day. “You know, six hours ago, we were on a boat and being betrayed by the last guy Bouchard did a deal with.”

To be fair, it’s Jon he betrayed, not us.

But something still nags at Tim. Some instinct, though he isn’t sure what it’s leading him toward. “I don’t think it’s that cut and dried.”

Oh?

He can’t place it. He doesn’t know enough. “I don’t think he assumed it would go according to plan, that’s all.”

All right. I’m not sure what that has to do with this.

“Won’t surprise me if there’s a few more layers of dastardly scheming going on here, is all I’m saying,” Tim says, reaching for the black doorknob. “So if we end up tied to some train tracks or something, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Hastur’s tone goes amused and warm. Given your power and lack of control, Tim, I’d say it would be far more beneficial to warn the train.

Tim scoffs. “Butter me up, why don’t you,” he says, and turns the handle.

Inside is an impossible hall. It’s got ugly yellow carpet with a black runner on top, weirdly smeary patterned wallpaper, and what might be gas lamps. Tim peers through the door. The hall goes left and right, utterly identical. There are no other doors.

“To hell with this day,” Tim mutters, and steps through.

It feels better than the Lonely, but also… bad? It doesn’t seem to be quite level, and Tim finds himself leaning. “Hello?”

Nothing.

He sighs. “Don’t suppose there are any straightforward monsters serving Fear gods?”

Yes. The Desolation tends to choose such followers.

“Oh.” Tim decides cursing a blue streak won’t help this situation. He goes left.

The hall stretches forever; somehow, the lights never seem to touch more than a few meters ahead, and perspective makes it feel like they’re walking into a darkened pinhole.

They’re not, though. Apparently, they’re not going anywhere. Tim keeps walking. “Hey.”

Yes?

“You got, uh. A little pushy about the god-flesh thing.”

Hastur growls. (Tim will never get used to that. It’s just not a sound people do, and he kind of digs it. A lot.) It is mine, by right, and they’re keeping it from me.

“Spiral,” says Tim. “I’m going to guess, all right? That Michael managed to make me doubt my own senses. It’s some sort of… madness fear?”

You were closer with your description. It is the fear of being unable to trust yourself. Your thoughts, opinions, what you perceive; whether, for example, you are eating food, or the flesh of your beloved pet. Truly terrible.

“Sounds like a fear of dementia,” Tim says, frowning.

Is it not a thing to fear?

“Well, it… to fear, yeah, but catastrophizing it might not be the—”

The floor drops away.

There was no warning. He was walking on strange, crunchy carpet, too stiff to be old, too worn to be new, and hating the way it sank under his shoes, when between one step at the next, it was gone.

Tim gasps as he falls, seeing nothing.

Shit!

And Tim does his best to will a landing that doesn’t hurt.

He… might have overdone it.

He hits bottom, and bounces off it like something out of a cartoon. Out of control, he ricochets off what might be a shelf judging by the sound of breaking glass, then wildly rolls (still bouncing) through what he thinks is a table and into a wall.

He’s completely unharmed, but oh hell, did he wreck the room. He blinks, adjusting to the darkness. It’s a room filled with…. things?

Wax figures, but not good ones; weird ones, leering at nothing. Strange books, piled and moldy, pages strewn around. More than one gleaming knife, reflecting light that isn’t there. A creepy pocket watch, dripping blood with every tick and dangling from a chandelier that has eyeballs instead of candles. What looks like a suit made of a person—if a person could simultaneously be a snake, like this being leaped straight out of 1950s sci-fi. A mirror that doesn’t quite follow Tim’s movements, reflection a split-second behind, angles a hair’s breadth off.

He stands. “The hell is this? The junk-shop of the gods?”

Michael’s laugh hurts down here as much as it does up above. “Do you want what you came for, Son of Anger, Child of Wrath?”

“I’m the child of Rob and Samantha Stoker, thank you very much,” Tim says more firmly than he feels, but he is overridden.

YES. And that, Hastur bellowed.

Michael appears (or maybe was already there, and Tim can’t remember). He doesn’t look human now; he’s all drawn out, attenuated, just close enough to expected proportions to make a viewer doubt the limb they just looked at, and his smile hovers in front of his face, detached. “Then payment will come first.” He raises one hand, and between his two-long fingers is some sort of paper.

Tim stares. “A contract?”

Michael laughs (and Tim winces). “No, no, no! This is the payment. Burn it. Burn it all. Burn it so completely it is never seen again, it is forgotten, it is removed from history like sinew torn from flesh, like memory unrecorded, like family secrets and truths learned while drunk. Burn it until it is gone.”

Tim shivers. Shudders. Swallows around his suddenly dry tongue. He wants to burn it so badly. “This, uh. This is what Elias promised you, eh?”

“Elias.” Michael’s smile is real this time, and Tim isn’t sure how he knows that, but it is a terrible thing. “Yes. Elias promised. And then you will have your prize.”

“What we came for,” says Tim. “Exactly what we think it is, not some trick.”

“‘We?’” says Michael. “Certainly.”

Hastur, Tim thinks. Please tell me you’re not pulling some scheme here.

No. We are one in this.

They’d better be. “What is it I’ll be burning?” says Tim.

“A record,” says Michael, still holding it out.

Tim takes it. It’s a birth certificate for someone named Gerard LaVey Keay, born 1981. “Okay,” he says. “And who’s this unlucky fellow?”

“Oh,” said Michael. “What is a ‘who,’ anyway?”

“Riiiiight,” says Tim. “What’s it going to do to him? In plain English, if you can?”

“Well, he’s already dead,” says Michael, and laughs like broken glass.

Tim grunts. “The fuck are we burning it for, then?”

And the smile melts. The Michael melts. The human guise vanishes, disappears completely, leaving a creature of long, staticy shadow and knife-sharp limbs. “Freedom,” whispers whatever Michael truly is.

Tim. I need this.

“Some rando could be harmed in the making of this one, Hastur.”

I. Need. This. And you promised you would help me. That eagerness is there again, that almost violent push he’d shown on the beach.

Tim stares at the birth certificate. “Already dead.”

“Oh, yes,” says unsmiling Michael, at whom Tim cannot look for more than a moment.

“Not free, though. Trapped?”

“In a book. Undignified and painful,” says Michael.

Oh. Oh, shit.

Tim. Please.

How incredibly poetic. Tim sighs. “Guess the old conscience can take one more for the team." And he wills the certificate to burn.

Just this. But so thoroughly that no copies of it remain, so thoroughly that its existence melts from the minds of those who have seen it, so thoroughly that he feels a dozen little spark-points lighting and extinguishing themselves even in computer systems throughout the U.K.

And he wills it not to spread with all his might, though too much of him wants it to consume.

Not today, Satan, he thinks at himself, at the Desolation, at the anger that simmers in him like a tar-trap in his soul. Not today.

The paper in his hand is ash. There aren’t even fragments for some aspiring forensics examiner to examine under a microscope. He rubs his hand on his trousers.

“Yesssss,” hisses Michael, and disappears, staticy limbs briefly crackling, and Tim’s hair goes on end as he is zapped.

“Ow!”

Oh, Tim… breathes Hastur.

In Michael’s place is a weird glass tube, standing on its end. It’s long, just wide enough that Tim might struggle to hold it with both hands, sealed at either end with a black metal cap, and containing a surging, steaming, bubbling mass of almost-liquid flesh.

“Oh, gross!” Tim says.

Oh, Tim, Hastur breathes again. It’s beautiful.

A weird creak startles them. Tim eyes the walls. “They’re… closer than they were.”

Shit. Pick it up. We need to get out of here.

Tim does, needing two hands after all, and it is cold, and the whole thing jerks in his grip as if trying to get loose, and—“Uh. How?” No door. No stairs. No exits. Even the hole in the ceiling is gone.

Another creak. The walls are definitely closer, shelves trembling, items rocking back and forth.

Tim!

Tim spins. He could portal, But could he portal to Jon?  What if he ends up in the ocean again? Or the desert? Or on the moon?

Another creak. More items rocking together, their quiet, fading sounds a warning.

And the glass tube he’s holding is not behaving well. Whatever is in there surges, bubbling, growing very cold. Tim hisses an inhale, putting it quickly down.

No!

“I can’t hold the damn thing!”

Another creak. Tim looks up. He saw nothing move, but suddenly, there is almost no room left. The table is nearly on top of him. The shelves are so close he could reach them all by stretching out his arms. Above, a single merry-go-round music box overbalances and falls, smashing to the floor in pieces.

Open the glass!

Portal. He has to portal. He can’t leave Jon up there alone and has to get it right. “Just a second!"

Just break the damn thing!

Fuck it, what do they have to lose? Tim kicks it over.

It shatters. Gluey flesh slides out, organ-like, as if it’s all made of half-melted kidneys.

Portal to the beach, he thinks, nauseated, trying to imagine a neat and well-behaved space right next to their little fire-pit, not sucking in air or swallowing ocean or doing anything insane like dumping this entire room on Jon’s head. Portal to the beach, he thinks, gathering his will, trying to make it small, trying to make it controlled, trying to ensure this doesn’t go as horribly wrong as it might—

The flesh climbs up his leg.

Tim shouts, leaping backwards, doing a one-footed dance and kicking as hard as he can, but it does not leave. Ice-cold, gripping, it slides up his thigh so fast he can’t even swear before its cold, cold self steals his breath away.

In a blink, it’s slid under his clothes and all the way up and covered his face.

Hastur!

Don’t breath! Hold on! Hold on!

Another creak, which Tim can’t now see, and he’s shoved roughly forward by the spine-bruising shelves, and pressed painfully into the thigh-high table, and he’s trapped, and is about to portal fucking anywhere, except would that bring this cold shit with him, and is that safe, would it stay behind, is it like The Blob, would it eat anyone he introduced it to, is about to damn the world by escaping—

There is a snap in his head. A ripping feeling behind his eye. A terrible, nose-bleeding, sharp-fuck pain somewhere in his brain and down his spinal.

Stroke? he thinks, and then he’s punched.

No, not punched. Something heavy slammed into his stomach, pushing out all his air, and it’s an arm, and the body holding him is large and male and just a little cold, startlingly cold, and he can suddenly breathe, gasping, but there is nothing to see, and they’re tumbling in darkness and whirling upside down and—

With a whoof, he lands flat on his back in the sand, close enough to Jon that Jon shouts, “Fuck!” as Dahl emits a single grunt of surprise.

And there is someone on top of Tim.

Someone he can see with both eyes. Someone who almost looks human, but not quite, not with that bone structure, that perfect night-dark skin, those irises like golden fucking polished rings. Someone grinning, long black hair falling down to frame both their faces.

Someone who is, without a doubt, the fucking hottest being Tim has ever seen in his life. Also, he is naked.

Tim can’t quite catch his breath. Half of that is falling through the void, and half of that is… “Hastur?” he says.

“Yes,” Hastur says, that tremendous voice outside his head, and Tim thinks dazedly that he had been right on his parents’ living room floor all those days ago: that voice feels hella nice vibrating through that chest.

“Uh,” says Jon. “Tim!”

The shock of cold, icy ocean makes Tim jump hard enough that he almost throws Hastur off (almost, but not quite, because that guy is solid). They both scramble to their feet.

Jon screams. Just screams, and points behind them, already up to his ankles in water.

So two things are happening here

So either the tide is really aggressive on Sannikov Land, or the island is fucking sinking. And also, the walking palms are living up to their name.

Absolutely silent and utterly alien, the trees are coming down, not like Ents, bent over and predatory, and Tim can’t help his own little scream as he sees them.

“The boat!” Jon cries.

Tim spins.

The boat is out to sea with Dahl in it, rowing away all by himself.

“Ha,” says Hastur. “I will—”

He never gets the chance.

The absolute outrage that grips Tim’s soul damn near does them all in. Light from him changes the shore, turns the gray sand gold, casts their forms in die-cut shadow. How fucking dare Dahl take the boat and leave them behind? They could portal out. They won’t now. That’s their damn boat. “You fucking thief!” Tim howls, and pulls.

Pulls what? He doesn’t know. But that boat suddenly comes reversing toward them, slamming backwards through the waves, and Dahl casts one wide-eyed startled look at them all before being knocked down into the boat as it rams into the shore stern-first.

“Get in!” Tim snarls.

Jon does at once, looking utterly spooked, like maybe he saw just however Tim did that pulling, judging by how pale he’s gone and the way he’s staring, and that fear feels good, and maybe it’s time to turn around and give those fucking trees a reason to walk themselves back to their spooky forest, and—

Hastur steps between them, filling Tim’s view, and places his hands (now horrifyingly cold, it seems) on Tim’s face. “You succeeded. We have to go. Let the anger fade.”

If he’d poured cold water down Tim’s shirt, it couldn’t have been more effective.

“Tim!” Jon’s calling. “Tim!”

Tim shakes himself. “What…”

Hastur takes his hand (not as cold now—cooler than his own, but not unpleasant) and drags him for the boat.

Tree-limbs, mantis-like, come down where they were, hard enough to leave divots in the sand.

“Oh my gods,” Tim says, finally seeing this clusterfuck for what it is.

Dahl is huddled in the bow, looking terrified.

“Come on!” Jon demands.

Hastur lifts Tim into the boat (holy fuck) and hops lightly after him.

Tim ignores the paddle. “Everybody hang on!” he says, and wills them to move.

The boat takes off as if rocket-powered, flying through the water at enough speed that it rises on either side of the bow like wings.

Hastur smiles. Raises his hand.

The ice floes ahead of them begin knocking aside before collision, wrenched as if by a giant hook to pull them off-stage. Tim has no idea why that was the image that came to mind, but it did, and he starts to laugh.

Behind them, a chorus of groaning wood rises to the sky like the trees are screaming, and they continue to wave, undulating on mantis-legs, until the island fully sinks beneath the waves and is gone.

-----------------

Notes:

So yeah, here's a walking palm.

Socratea exorrhiza, the walking tree in a jungle in Costa Rica. (GaiBru_Photo/Getty Images)

To quote some of the best characters in fiction: NOPE.

Also? Michael's shirt exists. This hideous thing discovered by TheGreatJellyfish on Reddit.

[bleachbleachbleach]

🌸 Big 🌸 Byakuya 🌸 Energy 🌸

A while back there was a meme with a question about your fave crossover; I'm not a big crossover person, but any time we watch anything there is always running Bleach commentary, whether it's "this is what [Bleach character] would do in this situation" or "oh hey it's Kibune" because the show has some strangely-dressed weirdo with shaggy hair and rectangular glasses. Like I mentioned yesterday, we recently watched Initial D for the first time, which for the uninitiated is an anime about a bunch of guys who drive down hills every night. Sometimes they also drive *up* the hill.

With apologies to Initial D superfans, the human characters really didn't do it for me, though the cars are wonderful 110% of the time. None of the human characters except, that is, Takahashi Ryosuke, because he has the

🌸 BIGGEST BYAKUYA ENERGY I HAVE EVER SEEN 🌸

outside of Byakuya himself. Like, inasmuch as none of the human characters stood out to me, the one thing I do really respect about them as a group is that this show is filled with a bunch of the least cool people you will ever meet in your life, and I love that. But Takahashi Ryosuke is on his own wavelength even in such storied company. The point of this post is not to talk about Initial D so much as it is to celebrate the sheer force of Big Byakuya Energy permeating this other man, because it highlights the intensity of the BBE of it all. Does Takahashi Ryosuke predate Byakuya? Sure, but it's *Big Byakuya Energy* because this is Kuchiki "28th Head of the Noblest of the 5 4 Noble Houses" Byakuya we're talking about.

Here's Takahashi Ryosuke's Top 5 BBE Moments:

1. He once corrected a member of his racing team by stating,

🌸 "I didn't give him advice. I gave him instructions." 🌸

Which reflects an exactitude of diction/intent that Byakuya probably restates on the daily re: his vice captain, Renji.

2. When his teammate/brother [Renji] crashes his car because an opponent illegally/nefariously throws oil over the road, someone asks him if he shouldn't offer [Renji] support, because his car is broken and that's sad. And Takahashi Ryosuke was just like, no, because

🌸 "If I were him [and didn't want to suffer those consequences] then I simply would not have crashed." 🌸

Peak Byakuya logic/critique

3. His primary arc is defined by a hardline adherence to a seemingly arbitrary rule he's set for himself. (He takes even less time to explain his reasoning to the rest of the class than Byakuya does.)

4. HE IS CONSTANTLY MICRONAPPING THROUGH THE TEAM MEETINGS.

5. This is way later in the series, well after we'd decided this guy had Big Byakuya Energy, but I shit you not, he has a doomed past romance with a young dead lover. Also, this romance is wrapped up in THE MOST GOTHIC ROMANCE PLOT you can possibly imagine a Mazda RX-7 to be part of.

And his primary nemesis in this arc's street name is **SHINIGAMI**

LMAOOOOOOO

6. Actually, he also plucked his brother/teammate from the wilds of some bike gang, aka Inuzuri, the chop shop capital of Soul Society. (In the universe where Byakuya is Takahashi Ryosuke, Renji and Rukia have been combined into one person named Keisuke).

Bonus: Here he is throwing his 8 trillion kan heirloom scarf onto Renji:

This is all incredibly endearing to me, because Byakuya is the weirdest weirdo known to man and I adore him, and it charms me greatly to know that if Soul Society were Car Society,

Byakuya's That Guy driving around with a rotary engine because of course he is.

Takahashi Ryosuke is what would happen if Byakuya's reigai found a car dealership. Byakuya would absolutely address him as 'kei' and they would be bewildering and insufferable together and I would die happy.