#just DAYS SHORT OF APRIL FOOL'S DAY

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

HAPPY APRIL 1st, i wrote a fic about the suez canal fiasco bc it's still the funniest thing that's ever happened. synopsis is "grumpy gods from different mythologies argue over whose job it is to unstick the goddamn boat"

[proudartmaker]

Happy [Not]April's Fool Day.✨

*Actually it's my last year's art.

Character from my JSAB AU.

[radioconstructed]

⌖ HI, HEY, HELLO! IT’S ME, hi, I’m the problem, IT’S ME, SIMULCASTING LIVE ON AIR and LIVE ON CAMERA! I almost NEVER DO THAT! Are YOU tired of scam calls? I SURE AM! Let’s make these CLOWNS our little APRIL FOOLS! TUNE IN for WILD IMPROV, VOICE ACTING, SCAMMER MALDING, and COVERS OF THE SCAMMER PAYBACK SOUNDTRACK! ALL DAY!

[originalcontent]

happ the birth!

uh thanks i mean it's not my birthday but i appreciate the thought i guess

[rhysand-vs-fenrys]

What do you think your specialty area is in terms of fandom knowledge? I'm curious what everyone would say!

Oh god... I don't know...

I kind of generally focused on pure Canon when I was writing fics more often, tracking details.

I guess.... compared to other blogs... I brought up the timelines more?

Like, the best example of that is my fic Velaris. I think after the first 2 parts were up, I sat down and skimmed through ACOTAR (as in the first book, not the whole series) and actually made a full timeline of exact dates when things happened. Initially in relation to one another (assuming "couple" meant two and "few" meant 3 for things like "a couple days passed"), but you'd also get corrector lines like "it had been exactly three months" that helped fix where Maas had just said "several days passed" or other general terms.

I then reverse-engineered a timeline assuming Calanmai was May Day, established a general date (give or take a week) when Amarantha's deal was up, used THAT to reverse-engineer when the shields went up, and dialed the years, days, and months accordingly.

So like, in Part 4 especially, that's not a random number for years and days trapped, that is as exact as it's possible to get.

So, you could call it a specialty in terms of knowledge I had that I didn't notice other blogs featuring. But everyone was well versed in general Canon (I'm using past tense thinking back to when this blog was more active).

[kyometeru]

© uvuyai 2024. . . ~ ღ

Men who use their legs to keep you spread open while they finger you☺️(this is my [short] apology letter for my april fools joke😓) this was based off some chilumi nsfw i found on X. I'll link it later!

Tag ~ fingering, fem!reader(no pronouns),, overstimulation, squirting, mating press, no sex but implied at the end, eating outz, size difference, tit slapping + nipple play,

The way he just snaps you into position with your legs bent away to your shoulders beneath their legs. The way they pumps and ruthlessly thrusts their fingers into your clenching hole, sending you sky high into a bursting orgasm. The tears and drool running down your face says it all. Your trembling hands clenching the thigh of his pants.

You try your hardest to wriggle your way out of his tight leg lock but they're not letting you go till he's finished with you. You've come for the nth time of the day. your mewls, whines, and moans getting high on pitch every waking second. They like seeing you like this; all spread out, puffy pussy sucking their fingers in, eyes rolling up to heaven, and the sweet juices you squirted out onto their hand.

He leans down and licks a stripe of your cunt, you immediately jump from the sudden change of roughness. They tweak and suck at your clit. Their tongue licking long and forceful stripes of your pussy. Their nose pokes at your clit from time to time. Your tongue hanging out of your mouth and tilting your head to the side to hopefully avoid neck pain. You let out a sharp moan and gasp as you felt yourself wet their hand. Your toes curled at the erupting feeling. You are nearly embarrassed about how you've wet yourself. They raise themselves back up to look back at the mess they've made beneath them. That mess being you. Your eyes are so close to closing as you let out soft and quiet pleas for no more.

But as I've said before; he's not stopping now.

One more time at least baby is what they say and they slide their fingers back into you, immediately curling up into that spot he knows like the back of his palm. Their other hand slams down onto your tits, tweaking them in the process. You're so cute they think as they see you trying to escape his leg prison once again. They give you a hearty chuckle and a teasing smirk. Your eyes try to ultimately focus on them but he doesn't stop pumping his fingers into you. Poor thing, it was only 15 minutes in, but it must've felt like eternity for you. Which you hope was the last of, you clenched your teeth and let out a gut bursting orgasm.

He gets up and flips you onto your stomach and removes the rest of your clothes along with his. They aligned his thick, long cock to your sensitive hole. Oh boy, this was gonna be a long day or night for you.

The characters i think: Zhongli, blade, childe, Kaeya, Boothill, Aventurine, Dr. Ratio, Diluc, Wriothesley, Jing Yuan, Pantalone, Capitano, Dottore, Scaramouche, Alhaitham, Sunday, and you favs!

DO NOT PLAGIARIZE, COPY, REPOST, OR TRANSLATE MY POST W/O PERMISSION. DO NOT COPY MY LAYOUT. YOU MAY TAKE INSPIRATION BUT MAKE SURE TO CREDIT ME.

[darling-flora]

Short n' Sweet 1

oscar piastri x yn singer - social media au

fc : tyla

[part 1]

[part 2]

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yourinstagram

Liked by lilymhe, oscarpiastri and 11,159,944 others

yourinstagram oh what a coincidence.... anyways my birthday week was filled with so much laughter and joy, im so glad i could have spent it with such a loving group of people !! also a huge thank you too lily and alex ( and a few others they brought along ) for coming over and being there for me 😚❤

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yourbff what a great weekend !!!

liked by yourinstagram

lilymhe happy birthday week pretty girl !!!

↳yourinstagram thank you for being you 😚

alex_albon happy birthday 🙂👍

↳yourinstagram thank you albon 🙂👍

ynstan1 she's back in the studio after a 3 year relationship with jacob.... oh this album is gonna hit 🙂‍↕️

oscarpiastri Happy Birthday ! It was lovely to meet you 🧡

↳yourinstagram thank you mr pastry it was a pleasure to meet you as well !! 😊

yourbff2 happy to see you happy 💌

↳yourinstagram 😭❤

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yourinstagram

Liked by lilymhe, oscarpiastri and 11,181,944 others

yourinstagram is it that sweet ? 💋

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yourbff did you make your date take picture of you..

↳yourinstagram maybe...

lilymhe my pretty girlfriend

↳yourinstagram oh lily i’m blushing 😊

oscarpiastri is what sweet ?

↳yourinstagram the answer isn't pg13 ↳oscarpiastri 🤨 ↳oscarpiastri OHHHH ↳oscarpiastri yep got it 😉👍

ynhater1 she just got out of a 3 year relationship and is already dating.... 🙄

↳ynfan1 the relationship was off an on towards the end (based on what they've both said ) so it wouldn't be surprising if she's already lost feelings before they publicly broke up, plus jacob when on a date with his ex a week before y/n and him broke up THEN started dating her DAYS after they broke up . then karma got his ass and they broke up on y/n's birthday, he sucks 🤷‍♀️

yourbff2 looking good mama !!!

liked by yourinstagram

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ynupdates

Liked by ynfan1, ynfan2 and 81,944 others

ynupdates Y/n in Australia recently with an unidentified man.

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ynfan3 wait is this an april fools joke b/c it's almost april 1st

↳ynupdates no 😭 it's real

ynfan4 omg in australia ??? i hope she's not back with jacob...

ynfan5 she's in australia days before the australian gp.... i hope she's going !!

ynfan6 can't wait to see her at coachella !!

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ynupdates

Liked by ynfan1, ynfan2 and 181,944 others

ynupdates Y/n at the Australian Grand Prix, y/n is in the Williams garage with friend Lily Muni He.

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yourinstagram

Liked by lilymhe, oscarpiastri and 11,181,944 others

yourinstagram weekend down under 😚

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lilymhe need you at every race weekend !!

↳yourinstagram maybe not EVERY race weekend but a few 😉

alex_albon not very flattering pictures of me

↳yourinstagram just be more flattering next time 🤷‍♀️

ynstan5 a mother to many 🙂‍↕️

oscarpiastri got my first point's with you at a race... thats suspicious... thats weird 🤨

↳yourinstagram some people call me a lucky charm ⭐ ↳oscarpiastri can i call you that ? 😁 ↳yourinstagram of course ! you're my fav aussie after all 🧡 ↳ynstan8 "you're my fav aussie after all" oh ik jacob just fell to his knees

yourbff pretty girl doing pretty girl thing !!

logansargeant i made the photo dump 🥳

↳yourinstagram you deserve an award 🏆

williamsracing We're glad to have you anytime 💙

ynstan8 no oscar in the aussie gp photo dump.... 🤨

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yourinstagram

Liked by lilymhe, oscarpiastri and 19,181,944 others

yourinstagram my give a fucks are on vacation… espresso is out now🤎

See you tomorrow Coachella !! 💋

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oscarpiastri a tuneeee 🧡

↳yourinstagram 😊🧡 ↳oscarlvrr44 im watching yall 🤨

ynstan5 She's done it again!! 👏☕✨

lilymhe pop princess has returned‼️

liked by yourinstagram

ynstan6 Instant classic!! It’s already my summer anthem ❤️❤️❤️

ynstan81 she woke up this morning thought she’d write another pop hit

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yourinstagram

Liked by lilymhe, oscarpiastri and 19,181,944 others

yourinstagram coachella weekend 1 & 2 what a dream !! these were some of the most fun shows i've ever played 🧡, and i can’t believe you guys were already singing along to all the words in espresso. I feel so lucky. thank you to everyone who came to watch !!!!

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oscarpiastri Congrats ❤

↳yourinstagram ❤ ↳ynstan81 🤨

yourbff You ate! Obsessed with these performance's it was so much fun to watch

liked by yourinstagram

lilymhe So proud of you - all your dreams are coming true. ❤️❤️

↳yourinstagram 😪❤

ynstan2 literally devoured and left no crumbs

mclaren Y/n is popstaring harder than ever and i’m here for it 🥳

↳ynstan81 MCLAREN ?? what are you doing here ??? ↳mclaren we're y/n fans 🤷‍♀️

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yourinstagram

Liked by lilymhe, oscarpiastri and 19,181,544 others

yourinstagram silverstone was lovely !! 🧡

view all comments

oscarpiastri always lovely when your there ❤

↳yourinstagram 🥰

oscarpiastri i can finally say my girlfriend instead of friend during interviews now 😁

↳yourinstagram you just loveeee talking about me 🤭 ↳oscarpiastri yes i do 😘 ↳landonorris can confirm ↳alex_albon also can confirm ↳logansargeant as can i ↳yourinstagram PLS 😭

ynstan03 bro how is oscar dating Y/N L/N ???

landonorris FINALLY !!!

↳yourinstagram 🙄

oscstan44 HUH ???? THEIR DATING ?!?

lilymhe my prettttyyyy girl is happyy !!

liked by yourinstagram

ynstan23 this break up and in love album is going to go crazy 🤭

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oscarpiastri

Liked by landonorris, yourinstagram and 10,181,544 others

oscarpiastri Safety car didn’t get the memo. But what a weekend !! Im truly grateful for all the support this weekend from all the fans and people i love 🧡

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yourinstagram so proud of you !! love you pretty boy 😘

↳oscarpiastri love you !!! 🥰

oscarfan72 them hard launching is the best part of this season tbh

landonorris congratulations on everything 😉

liked by oscarpiastri

lilymhe he stole my girlfriend 😖

↳oscarpiastri snooze ya lose

mclaren Your best post this season !

liked by oscarpiastri

oscarfan90 i need a cigarette.... me and y/n were supposed to be together 😞

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yourinstagram

Liked by lilymhe, oscarpiastri and 20,181,544 others

yourinstagram Short n’ sweet is officially yours now!!! the making of short n’ sweet was one of the most special, honest, up and down, stupid and fun experiences of my life.

thank you to my brilliant talented friends, writers, producers, mixers, engineers, and creative minds that helped me bring this world and these songs to life. not a serious thought was thunk yet somehow they were.. lol i love you all and am so grateful.

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oscarpiastri IT'S HERE!!! So proud of you and love you endlessly.

↳yourinstagram love love love you ❤

oscarpiastri personal favorite is Bed Chem

↳yourinstagram oh yeah im sure 😘

ynstan32 taste is crazy… what an opening 🤯

lilymhe most perfect album of all time 💞

↳yourinstagram 😪❤

yourbff 8 down 💕

liked by yourinstagram

ynstan21 the drama in this album 🫨

logansargeant IT'S HERE!!! Can't pick a favorite!!!

liked by yourinstagram

ynfan74 coincidence is a crazzzyyy song 🤭

↳ynfan62 what's even funnier is the day jacob and olivia broke up (y/n's birthday) her birthday post she captioned it "oh what a coincidence" 😭

mclaren Dare I say…….no skip album??

liked by yourinstagram

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[snakebites-and-ink]

Guide to boops

At the top of your dash, there should be a boop-o-meter. If it's not there, try refreshing the page or updating the app.

Under the boop-o-meter, there's a start option and an opt-out option. Click start to activate your boops! This will make it possible for you to both give and receive boops. Opting out will remove the boop-o-meter image for you, but leave a link in case you change your mind (thanks @ blueberrybananasmoothie!)

The option to opt-out remains even after you click start

You can boop people by: clicking the "Boop" next to their username on posts, clicking the paw button on their blog, or clicking "Boop back"/"Revenge" in your activity feed

You can boop yourself too!

The boop-o-meter will keep track of how many boops you've sent and received. It only has room for three digits in each category, so once you reach a thousand, it will say 3-letter words like LOL and WOW. The word will change as the number gets higher. The highest it goes is the point where it says TUM/BLR

The boop-o-meter also changes color as the number increases enough. In the original April Fool's version, the number of pixel cats increased as well.

To earn the badges: For Boopster (white paw), you just need to send one boop. For Bountiful Booper (orange paw), you need to send 314 boops. For Booper Breaker (black paw), you need to send 1000 boops. Boops you receive do not affect the badges.

Click normally to send a normal boop. If on desktop, hover over or hold the paw button on someone's blog until it flashes then returns to normal to send them a super boop, and until it's flashed at least three times for an evil boop. If on mobile, it will spin instead of flashing, and only needs to spin twice for an evil boop.

The Halloween version also includes bOooOoOOOoOooos. You can send a bOooOoOOOoOooo if you spam boop the same person at least 10 times in a row without doing anything else in between (thanks @ merry-death!). The sender is not notified that they sent a bOooOoOOOoOooo, but it appears in the recipient's activity feed.

Boops appear in the recipient's activity feed, and are highlighted different colors depending on the type of boop. Normal boops will stack in activity. Evil boops may stack if you get enough in a short enough time period but they usually don't stack, and I've never seen super boops or bOooOoOOOoOooos stack (but I can't say for sure that they won't under the right conditions).

Sideblogs cannot send boops (and thus cannot earn the badges). Sideblogs can receive boops if they are not shared sideblogs, and the account's main blog has activated the boop-o-meter.

On desktop, you can click the little pixel cat on your boop-o-meter to boop the cat. The cat will then boop you back.

On mobile, you can tap the paw that appears when you boop someone to high-five the cat. This seems to be a mobile-only feature (at least for now). After high-fiving, you'll be presented with the option to boop the cat.

Paw colors are assigned by blog. You can see which color paw a blog gets by looking at the boop button on their blog. Others will see your assigned color when booping you, and you'll see theirs when booping them. Your paw color doesn't change.

The boop-o-meter is only available for one day, then it will disappear until the next occasion tumblr brings it back for (if it's brought back again)!

Disclaimer: I'm basing this guide off of a combination of current experiences (on Halloween 2024), what happened the first time on April 1st, and what I've heard from others, so it's possible there are some errors, outdated information, or yet undiscovered features!

Happy booping! 🐾

[thefreakandthehair]

apollo, who?

prompt: beach day | pairing: steddie | wc: 1.5k | rating: teen & up | tags: eddie munson pov, athletic steve, post-canon fix it, pining, reciprocated crushes | written for @pearynice for the @strangerthingswritersguild April Fools exchange! 💕☀️🌊

There are three absolute truths when it comes to Steve Harrington: 

The first is that Steve is a gifted athlete. 

The second is that Steve was born to thrive in the summertime. 

And the third, much to Eddie Munson’s chagrin and horror, is that the combination of the first two truths will be his undoing. In public, no less, because the universe has apparently concocted a plan to let Eddie live but to make him suffer nonetheless. 

Unloading the van had been easy enough— Steve grabbing the cooler stacked to the brim with soda, water, and snacks and Eddie watching as he’d trekked through the sand to where Robin and Nancy set up their chairs and beach umbrella. Most of the kids were long gone already, staking their claim with blankets and towels a few feet away from Robin and Nancy, leaving Eddie to snag the sunblock he’s basically been made to swear a blood oath to Wayne that he’ll apply generously over his scars. 

He leans back over the passenger seat to grab it from the center console, along with his walkman and sunglasses, and when he turns back around, he stops dead. 

Steve’s shirtless.

In the span of ten seconds, Steve’s already shirtless on the beach, nothing but swim trunks hanging from his hips, and Eddie realizes he’s underestimated how fucking beautiful this sight might be. 

The edge of Lake Michigan laps at the rippled sands as Steve reels back and tosses a football that Eddie’s pretty sure materialized out of nowhere to Lucas a few yards down the shore. All of his freckles and moles and scars out on full display, the sun beats down on his tanned skin and uncharacteristically messy hair that Eddie’s watched slowly morph from chestnut to ash brown over the course of the season. 

As Eddie applies his stupid sunblock, he lets himself stare unnoticed. Lucas throws what Eddie assumes is a good pass if Steve’s celebratory, “Great spiral!” means anything and when he puts on his sunglasses, it’s more to shield the blinding light of Steve’s smile than the sun. Maybe it’s cliche, maybe it’s overdone and contrived, but Eddie can’t stop himself from comparing Steve to a Greek fucking God. 

Apollo, who? 

El appears next to Steve and Eddie continues to watch— about three layers of sunblock in at this point because he’s lost track— as Steve demonstrates something. Holding the football in one hand, he points at the laces and seems to check in with El for understanding before handing it over to her and adjusting her grip slightly. When she attempts to throw it to Lucas, it falls short and lands in the sand just a few feet away from where she and Steve stand. 

Eddie’s chest fucking swells as Steve trots over to grab it and simply hands it to her again, smile in place to counteract El’s pout. Three or four tries later, the ball flies straight enough for Lucas to catch it and Jesus H. Christ, Steve cheers like she scored a touchdown, or whatever the fuck it’s called. 

He can’t leave the side of the van. If he makes his way down to the beach, it’ll be all over for him. He’ll have to hide in the water the entire time, and now there’s too much sunblock on his face to blame the inevitable flush on sunburn. It’s fine, he can hang back. Everyone looks preoccupied anyways and with any luck, no one will notice he’s not enjoying the surf and sand with everyone else until it’s time to leave— 

“Eddie!” 

Right, he thinks to himself. I have no luck. 

Steve waves at him to come join, turning that sunshine smile directly at him and it’s a direct hit. Apparently, even on the opposite side of the sands, he’s still a goner. 

“Eddie! C’mon, what’re you waiting for?” He calls out again, both hands resting on his hips. 

It does nothing to quell his urge to stare at places friends aren’t supposed to stare at. As far as he knows, the only person to have picked up on his unfortunate crush is Nancy, who’d seemed to understand the importance of discretion and hasn’t said a word. If he can leave this beach day with his secret intact, he’ll chalk it up as a success. 

“I’m comin’, I’m comin’!” 

With a deep breath, he locks and slams the passenger door to the van and walks out onto the hot sand, barefoot with his sneakers in one hand, SPF 70 in the other, and sunglasses hung over his nose. Distantly, he recognizes the grittiness of the sand beneath his toes and the earthy scent of the freshwater stretching out for miles in front of him but more acutely, he just keeps his eyes on Steve. 

Please let these glasses be tinted, he thinks. 

“Finally, what the hell were you doing up there?” Steve asks when he makes it down the narrow path lines with tall grass. 

“Aw, did you miss me, Big Boy?” Eddie drones with a smirk. If he just acts normal, no one will know the difference. It’s not like Steve ever flirts back—

“And if I did?” 

He hasn't planned for that response. All he’s prepared for is a gentle eye roll, maybe a flustered laugh or furrowed brow, and now Steve’s shirtless, sun-baked, sweat dripping from his temple and suggesting he missed him. 

What the fuck. 

“Heads-up!” Lucas yells and Steve turns just in time to take two steps backward and catch the football coming in their direction. 

There’s no way for Lucas to have known he’d just saved Eddie from something horrendously embarrassing, but he’ll find a way to thank him all the same. 

“Ever throw a football?” Steve holds the oblong ball in one hand, wiggling it at shoulder height with a grin. “I taught El how to throw a spiral, so I think I can teach you, too.” 

Okay, actually, he’s still being subjected to something humiliating. 

“Sports have never really been my—”

“Don’t start with that, c’mere. It’s easy.” Steve gestures with a nod of his head for Eddie to join him further out on the beach and like a satellite to its orbit, he follows. 

It takes way more attempts than it did El— something Max was all too quick to point out loudly— but he does eventually throw something that Steve considers a spiral. Maybe it would’ve taken fewer tries if Steve hadn’t insisted on standing directly behind him, adjusting his stance and grip with his chest damn near pressed against Eddie’s back. 

Of all the unfair cards life has dealt him, this has to be the worst. More than once, he makes eye contact with Nancy who raises an eyebrow and smirks before returning her attention to whatever she and Robin are talking about. 

Probably him. Him and Steve and his dumb, dumb, dumb crush that’s ruining his life. It’s fine. 

When he finally throws the ball at an acceptable angle, Steve claps him on the shoulder and stands next to him, effectively draping an arm over both shoulders. 

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

He swallows and turns, breath catching his throat. All of the sun has brought Steve’s freckles to the forefront, a shade darker than usual with new tiny pinpricks of color appearing along his nose with a faint pink hue along his cheekbones. 

If they weren’t in public, he’d do something very, very stupid. Instead, he clears his throat subtly and finds words. 

“Sure, yeah, I’m a regular sports guy now, Steve. Guess I’ve gotta find something to teach you, huh? Y’know, return the favor?” 

“I’ve always wanted to learn guitar. You can show me the basics some time. Or uh,” Steve grins and lowers his voice. “I’m sure there are some other things we can learn together.” 

Eddie’s fully lost track of how many times he’s been caught off-guard so far today, but this one takes the cake. Steve’s fucking flirting with him. Actually flirting with him. Beating him over the goddamn head with it, really. 

“Yeah! Yeah, uh, yeah,” he repeats, smooth. “To both, I mean. Yeah, to both.” 

Steve squeezes his shoulder and unravels his arm with a hopeful expression. 

“We’ll talk more when we aren’t surrounded by nosy shits, especially those two,” Steve nods at Robin and Nancy who wave with their fingers. “In the meantime, race you to the water?” 

“What is it with you jocks?”

He barely has time to get the question out before Steve takes off, plunging into the water a solid foot before Eddie even reaches the shore. 

“That’s cheating, Harrington!” He bellows, running through the sand to join him, heart thundering between his ribs and head still spinning from what just happened. 

“Sounds like what I’d expect from someone who just lost,” Steve shoots back, taking a breath and submerging himself before popping back up. 

Hair slicked back with the freshwater of Lake Michigan, Eddie watches as Steve runs both hands through it, then down his face and back into the lake. Water droplets glisten off his skin and Eddie wades a little closer, finding Steve’s hands once they’re submerged enough to disguise it. 

“Oh, contraire,” Eddie muses. “I feel like I just won.”

[emeritusemeritus]

One, two, three? [Fred Weasley x Reader]

Title: one, two, three?

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader.

Timeline: Non-specific.

Summary: Fred gets up to mischief pretending to be his twin.

Warnings: None? Slight deception, pranks, humour. Fred’s a menace. Sorry Cho, I needed a victim.

Word count: 1.3k

In honour of our April fool’s birthday kings, HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRED AND GEORGE. Please accept this little prank-filled drabble as a gift.

"Hi, um George?" You heard a voice behind you say meekly, causing you and your companion to turn around in confusion.

You'd been in the library for most of the afternoon with Fred, studying for your end of term potions exam whilst he looked up ingredients for a new project him and George had been developing, some new potion that made the drinker glow like a candle. To your surprise, Fred was actually concentrating for the most part and had actually allowed you to get some valuable studying done without much interruption, though you could sense his concentration wavering and boredom taking over him as he got increasingly fidgety.

George had managed to get detention with Mcgonagall today before dinner, though Fred had managed to avoid the punishment entirely on account of being the first to flee. George had mentioned in passing that his charms partner would be meeting you all in the library after the last class of the day for them to work on their homework together and of course you thought nothing of it when Cho joined you in the library.

Charms this year had been a little different as you were sorted into classes of grouped abilities with some students able to take a short course for their OWLS from the year below, so that they could study another elective if they wished. Due to this, a few students from the year below had entered your class at the start of the year and you were no longer lumped with just the Slytherins, the short course students were mixed houses.

"Oh hey y/n," Cho said as you turned, offering you a shy little wave with her free hand as she clutched a handful of books to her chest. You'd never really talked much with Cho but she always seemed nice and friendly. You greeted her and began to correct her previous misstep when Fred leapt to his feet, pulling out a chair for her.

"Hi Cho, what are we working on today?" He said with a wicked glint in his eye, pretending to be George. You looked at him momentarily with a disbelieving look before rolling your eyes, knowing that he would deeply enjoy playing along as his twin to cause a little mischief.

"I thought we could start with the non verbal spells?" She says, taking a seat and spreading out an array of books, parchment and quills for the task.

You barely paid attention to them as they talked, though your attention was drawn in every so often when Fred would drop little hints that he might not be the right twin, though they went entirely over Cho's head. She had no clue that she was actually talking with Fred and you had to say that it did amuse you slightly, though not as much as it did Fred. Around half an hour had gone by, George still hadn't showed and you could tell that Fred was getting bored of the act and was getting close to actually doing the work which he had no intention of doing, so he decided he would feign needing to meet Fred.

He shot you a wink as he stood, subtly kicking his bag under the desk towards you and walked out, leaving you and Cho alone. You chatted for a little while, mainly asking her how Quidditch was going, before a familiar red head rejoined you.

He had taken off his school jumper, untucked his white shirt and you noticed that his hair has been tussled slightly with a little more of the short, front strands pushed back. It didn't fool you for a second but you were intrigued to see if it could pass with someone that didn't know them, like Cho.

"Cho right? Hey," Fred says with a smirk and a nod of his head before he slumped down onto the seat beside you where he'd occupied only minutes before. He stretched out his arm around your shoulders as he took a seat and had said a simple, "hey gorgeous," to you as he grinned ear to ear.

"Hi, Fred right?" She says sweetly, her eyes squinting a little as she looks at him, hey eyes flicking between the pair of you and his arm around your shoulders, deducing that it must be your boyfriend.

"Yeah, this is Fred," you confirm, your tone a little drier than usual as you pointedly looked at him. He squeezes your shoulders tighter in a mock warning before offering a warm smile to Cho.

"You're George's charms partner right? Have you seen him? I've been looking everywhere for him," he says with a smirk. You roll your eyes and shift out of his hold to hunch yourself back over your potions book, subtly shaking your head at his actions, knowing he was enjoying himself way too much. Cho however, nods enthusiastically before looking around slightly with her eyes as if searching for her charms partner.

"He actually just left, he was looking for you," she says shyly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear where it had fallen out of her headband.

"Really? Interesting," Fred says, leaning back in his chair. "I'll go find him." Fred leans forward and kisses you on the head before walking casually out of the library doors, leaving you alone with Cho once again.

"They spend a lot of time together don't they?" She says, breaking the somewhat comfortable silence and you have to hold back a laugh as you look up from your book.

"Yeah I've always said they're more like conjoined twins than identical," you joke, sending her a warm smile. You knew she was probably uncomfortable having never spent much time around you and the twins and so you tried your hardest to be nice to her, despite Fred's silly prank.

"Sorry about that," Fred says rushing back in, now wearing his school jumper once again, pretending to be George.

"Oh Fred’s just been, he was looking for you," Cho says as she looks at 'George', pushing the textbook over to him as he takes his seat.

"Really, so he's around?" 'George' says with a tone of surprise, suddenly looking around as if he'd just missed his twin.

"I'm gonna scout out the courtyard, he's supposed to be meeting me, bloody Fred," he says playfully, rising from his seat once again and walking back through the doors.

"Couldn't see him," Fred says, walking back in not two minutes later, once again without his shirt and with slightly more tussled hair.

"He went looking for you in the courtyard," Cho says, looking up briefly from where she was taking notes on a piece of parchment. If she was annoyed by the constant disruption, she didn’t show it.

He shrugs and takes a seat next to you, trying to slide you closer to him by scooting your chair up towards his as he smiles widely at you, beaming with pride that his little prank was working.

"Hi, sorry I'm so late," George says, the real George, as he rushes in, throwing his bag off his shoulder and placing it onto the table looking a little puffed. He takes off his robe, placing it down on the back of the chair and you immediately notice that he'd not wearing uniform, or rather he is but he has a thick wool jumper on over the top that's zipped right up to his throat, hair soaking wet from the rain.

Cho suddenly looks between them and then to you with a face of alarm, trying to process what was happening as she takes in his different appearance.

"Wait, there are three of you?!"

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[cixteenyne]

i nEED more izu content and you are the best of the best so i needed to come to you

personally, the thing that i think gets over looked about midoriya is that

1: he’s strong as fuck??? (gets me so weak in the knees heaven knows)

2: BLACK. WHIP.

jesus christ he’s just!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think he’s so neat i want him to do things to me

anyways, smutfic about him coming home to reader after she’s been a brat to him all day & him being such a sweet & loving dom but also that type of menacing & powerful hero he is. he loves his s/o to no end, but will not hesitate to put her in her place!!! wow my stomach turns just thinking about it

basically, brat tamer izuku, using blackwhip. i’m so down bad for him it hurts

I remember getting this ask and salivating at it, yet I had no idea how to write and interpret it into a full blown post instead of just a thirst and I just didn’t feel like posting (I meant it when I said I’m barley consistent). SOOO in April 1, no, this isn’t an april fools joke!! I bring you, angry izuku ..

Warning(s): vulgar wording (yk how we do), restraints, mean izuku/passive aggressive, manhandling, inappropriate use of black whip, brat taming, slight intimidation if you squint, Fem reader. Halfway proofread…😒

‘Patient and Gentle’

Izuku had been so sweet to you all day, so caring and soft and understanding- he always had been, so it’s just to say he’s being himself as per usual. But, you. You.

Just so snide today, snappy little thing.

What did he do? He doesn’t know- he doesn’t care to know, he won’t listen to you if you try to explain, well- he will; just won’t let it linger. He’s past that.

You’re past that.

He sighed as he walked into the room, the door shutting softly behind him despite the off energy he had around him.

He doesn’t move from his spot, his hand still resting against the door as his head peers behind him. To you. He just gazes for a while, only a while before- clip! Another snappy remark, it was just ‘clip, clip, clip’ with you today, that’s all he could portray it as.

Something like a… like a-

“oh, that’s weird.”

Or a short ‘clip!’ Of a

“whatever.” In a certain tone a- cadence, if you will.

Why were you speaking this specific way to him. And why was it pissing him off so.. damn.. much…?

He still looking at you, yet at some point he’s turned around a tuned out whatever snide remark you’re sure to have made by now. His eyes keep traversing from one point to another, each point having something to do with you.

A short question of; ‘is there a problem?’

Is there?

“I don’t know.” A shrug from you. And a back fucking turned.

It makes his blood simmer to an 8 on a stove.

His footsteps are light yet foreboding as they advanced toward you, to you standing so.. he can’t even find the words, how does one stand in indifference? That must be it.

He’s in your personal space now, he’s smiling so sweetly at you; the way he always had, so patient and gentle. Yet his words are cracked with the tone, clashing with the way they dance out of his lips.

“Is there a problem..?” Is there? He needs to know, he had asked you a question, he wanted an answer. He didn’t ask for an ‘I don’t know.’ He asked for an explanation. Did you not understand that?- or, were you being a dumb whore on purpose?

You shook your head, not meeting his eyes. There was no problem. so, what the hell is your deal today?

“Speak up, baby..”

“No..”

you shook you head again. It was mumbled out, maybe due to his body smothering yours, but at least it was in words.

“Then what’s wrong, baby? Yr’ you acting like that.. hm?”

He whispered to you, talking you down as if you were a kid experiencing anger for the first time. His faux sad expression was beginning to make you feel silly. Good. That’s was good.

You look away- or you try to, yet his face follows yours, not letting you escape his eyes.

“Don’t- no, you don’t do that. You look at me. ‘K..? I don’t like that.”

He really didn’t. And you knew that. He looked a little disappointed too, shame. What a shame, yet you were shameless.

He sighed, a click of his teeth as he let silence permeate the room.

A cold solid-? A chilly.. rope.. it slid around your neck, slowly and purposefully. It’s grip tightening with no intent to let go. There was a tug on it, forcing you the look up at him.

Black whip. He activated it and was using it as a leash, he thought it was fitting. Act like a bitch, get treated like one. ‘S only fair.

“Izu’s a little mad okay..? And he’s sorry… but- he needs to teach his girl… m’kay..?”

You stood in place, slightly defiant, yet not outright. So he tugged. Hard. And you stumbled out of place.

“C’mon.. T’ the bed.. s’right there..” a slow step forward, then the rest followed suit, she was hoping for a smooth walk over to the bed, but she was pushed so meanly by him.

He didn’t say anything as he bullied her with such a sweet face. Always so patient and gentle. Even when he’s not.

He rolled the black whip in his hands, his quirk tightening around him as he tugged your neck back, getting on top of you. He had pushed you onto your tummy. He even got down low next to your ear to taunt you like a bully.

“Izu has to do this okay..? Keep his girl good. ‘Zuku doesn’t like disobeying whores. He doesn’t like mean girls.”

Being so mean to him all day. Whore. How dare you. But don’t worry, he loves you so much, he’s willing to teach you himself- just how he likes his girls.

He reached around under your hips and undid your button. And a ‘ziiiip!’ Oh, it was foreboding. Your body was heating up, it was like an oven with no limit.

Your pants were being pushed down, and you keened. A whine at being exposed to casually as he shushed you.

“Shhh.. shh, lemme take it off.. all of it.”

Your pants couldn’t hit the floor before his hands were always working off your shirt, as he let black whip go for a while to get it off.

Yet his hands were right back on it. Harsher, no bra. truly a whore.

He filled his palm with your breast, the soft supple flesh making him groan, a grind of his hips into your ass. He was going to fucking ruin you for this.

His breathing was hot and heavy against your neck, making goosebumps rise and quicker across your skin.

His hands began snaking again, from your breast, to your tummy, your hips, the inside of your panties. Your pussy. So, so.. wet already.

And then he was dragging them down your laps and kicking them away. His finger just playing with your pussy for a while, two finger sliding down the crevices, a palm cupping it whole and rubbing, and a single finger on your clit. Slowly rubbing and pinching, tapping.

His lips kissing your neck so sweetly. So patient and gentle.. a suck across your skin. And moan and a whine, it only made him harder.

He stops his playing- his rubbing and you whine again, disappointed, and it makes him smile a little more sweetly, or cruelly, he can’t tell himself at this point, he just knows he loves watching that sweet face of yours contort.

Black while fluctuates and another tendril seeps out and bind your arms, forcing them to your back. Your pussy drips at the strain in your shoulders.

He hadn’t taken anything off yet, and he didn’t plan too! He didn’t need to. He undid his belt, slowly. Letting the ‘clink!’ And the ‘dink!’ Of the metal fill your ears. Letting you anticipate.

His bulge is almost painful, the strain of it is almost good, yet it still annoys him- having it be let free was heavenly.. his green was deep yet still so sweet, a whine in his voice that never quite went away even as it deepened with age..

His cock bobbed up and as it fell back down, heavy under its own weight, the tip tapped your ass, leaving it to ripple. The sight made him keen yet it dipped into a moan as his own hand wrapped around his aching dick. It drooled precum.

Black whip flickered as his mind was muddled with pleasure, yet his control of it was impressive despite the situation. He wasn’t number one for nothing.

“He’s gonna teach you.. ‘kay..? Fuck… look so good baby… if you weren’t such a mean slut today-.. I’d be a little gentle..”

the way he spoke was as if he ran a marathon, and his voice always had the undertones of a whine.

He pushed his hand to his shirt, as if the action took everything in him- and began to unbutton it in a hurry, he felt stuffy in the article of clothing and he needed it off- or atleast open.

He tightened black whip, wrapping his hand in it further to force you into an arch, stroking his cock and lining it up with your pussy, cunt dripping with arousal.

The tip tapped against the entrance, then it pushed in, and in, and stretched, each inch was fucking delicious. Your eyes rolled and you bit your lip, and he heard it- he didn’t like it, if that angry tug of black whip was anything to go by.

He couldn’t help but slam the rest of it in, making you yelp. His grunts are uncontrollable and he doesn’t care. he whines behind you as his tip just leaks and leaks inside of you, yet he hadn’t cum yet.

Just made it more slippery and the sounds -god, the sounds- the sloppy and wet sounds of his cock driving into you cunt wasn’t drowned out by your combined moans.

He kept it tugged in your little leash as he keeps thrusting, his voice raw with pleasure and still a bit of irritation.

You still had upset him earlier, he had every right to take it out on you. You’re his girl.

He hips sped up, this thrusts got harder and your legs would have given out if his hips weren’t keeping you in place. Fucking his anger into you, and yours out of you.

He pulled your leash up and forced you to your feet, your back flush against his chest as she kept fucking you, going and going and fucking going, you couldn’t barley think- let alone stand. Fucking you like a rag doll was all he planned on doing.

His hand went to your front, and began to play with your clit, rolling it under his finger, making you dizzy, you moans increasing and you felt yourself tremble. You were about to cum, he knew it.

You always came first, that wouldn’t change, even if you were mean, and he was angry, he was going to take care of his girl, let her cum all she wants.

And you did, you came around him and squeezed his cock like it was a lifeline. Her pussy fluttering around him.

But he wouldn’t stop until he was finished too. Your body was pushed back onto the bed, the black whip disintegrating as he took his own hands and used them to restrain you instead. He pushed his hips deep into yours in slow yet aggressive thrusts. He was going to cum, fill you, he was going to teach you just what your place was and to never forget it.

“Fuck..! Fuck!”

And two deep thrusts was all he had left before he burst with thick ropes of cum into your pussy. Your tummy being filled with warmth and your eyes tilting into your head as they closed in exhaustion.

He stilled and let him empty itself before smiling so sweetly at you.

“Does my baby feel better..?”

He asked, just as sweetly as he always has. Maybe you’d learn something this time around.

“M..hm.”

He mumbled into your ear as he settled his chest against your back;

“Good.. don’t forget what ‘Zuku taught you today.. ‘Kay..?”

So patient and gentle.

(Don’t copy my stuff pookie, bitches with juicy pussy DONT copy works.. but you can still reblog… daddy appreciates those.)

[hayleythesugarbowl]

If you feel comfortable, could you do a cute little one shot about reader and Ian telling their smosh friends that they’re having a baby? Maybe they announce it in a jokey way and everyone’s like wait are u or are u not?? Thank you!! I love ur writing so much!! 😘

Try Not To Laugh: Crew Baby Edition || Ian Hecox x reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist  ⋆˚｡⋆୨୧⋆

summary: you announce your’s and ian’s pregnancy through a TNTL bit

word count: 1.2k

warnings: pregnancy, ian being ian and talking about milk

a/n: this is so cute wait 🤭. hope you enjoy this cute, short little fic!! the pic has nothing to do with this but i thought it was funny lol. fem!reader.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  “Do you know where they keep the fake babies?” 

     You scoured the shelves, peeking out from backstage as you waited for your turn to go on for your bit.

      You weren’t exactly used to being on camera and you were still getting used to it. 

      You were participating in your first every Try Not To Laugh video, a gauntlet with all of the crew. 

      “Try the bin next to the walrus in a wig,” Ian pointed in the direction of said bin. 

      You began searching, crouching to get a better look, as you thought about what you were going to do when it was your turn.

      You and Ian had planned it all the week before, knowing exactly what you’d do when you’d first heard Smosh wanted you in a TNTL Crew video. 

      Ian came up behind you now, putting a hand on your back as he crouched to help you look. 

     You had been dating Ian for over a year now, shortly after you’d joined the Smosh crew. Now, everyone at the company had bets going on when you were going to get married and tie the knot or adopt a pet or get pregnant.

     And they weren’t far off. About the last part at least. You were currently three months pregnant with Ian’s baby.

     You two couldn’t be happier. You were counting down the days until the third member of your family was brought into this world.

     But the joy was only shared between you and Ian—none of the other Smosh cast or crew knew about it yet. You were waiting for the right moment to tell everyone. 

     And where better than TNTL.

     You’d talked to Ian about it and decided that instead of come up with a bit, you and Ian would use your turn to announce your pregnancy. 

      If that didn’t get them to spit their water out, you didn’t know what would.

      Sure, telling your friends that you were having a baby during a bit wasn’t exactly conventional. It was silly and unserious and perfectly Smosh. Some people announced their marriages on April Fool’s Day, others announced their pregnancy during a joke show.

      You smiled as you thought about it, finally finding a realistic-looking plastic baby underneath a spiky wig.

     “This’ll do,” you turned to Ian.

     “A poor substitute for the real thing,” Ian said, standing and grabbing your hand to pull you up with him.

     He placed a hand on your stomach and you laid your own hand atop his.

     “If our baby looked like this though, I’d be pretty creeped out.” You gestured to the doll in your hand.

     “Maybe if the baby inherits its looks from you” Ian teased. 

     You put your hands on your hips and Ian just laughed, leaning in to kiss you quickly.

     “Kidding.”

     Erin, who had just gotten done performing her bit, came backstage then. 

     She smiled at you. “You’re up. Should be pretty easy, though. They’re spitting like crazy today—no swallowers here.”

     Behind you, Ian chuckled. “Nice.”

     You smacked his arm. “You’re a child.”

     “Pretty sure that,” Ian pointed to the fake baby, “Is a child.”

     You rolled your eyes at him, putting the baby in between your legs, hiding it under the long dress you wore.

     “Ready?” Ian asked you.

     “I didn’t shove this baby up skirt for nothing,” you teased. 

     You walked out in front of the cast, six of them, all with water in their mouths already.

     Ian followed you.

     A couple of the cast members, seeing Ian in your bit, looked at each other in a way that said, Of course they’re doing a bit together, they can’t go three seconds apart from each other.

      You and Ian shared your own look, nodding at each other as you began your bit.

     “Wanna know the easiest way to get breast milk, free and legally?” Ian said, putting on an infomercial voice. “When you want that leche but you just can’t go to jail again?”

     This got a couple people immediately, Courtney and Anthony both spitting out their water.

     You let the baby drop out from between your legs.

     Keith spit out his water now, shouting, “It never gets old!”

     Now you and Ian both said. “Get pregnant!”

     Ian came to stand beside you. “I got my girlfriend pregnant, and now I never have to worry about where my milk’s coming from again. This doesn’t work with LaCroix, sorry Shayne.”

     Shayne lost it, laughing as he wiped the water from his mouth. 

     You stepped forward. “So get pregnant today. Call now, and with only four small payments a month, you can be pregnant too!”

     Ian added, speaking quickly, “Restrictions may apply. Does not include shipping and handling. Must be 18 years or older to order—so sorry Trevor, maybe next time.”

     Trevor spit, throwing up his arms in mock offense.

     “So what are you waiting for?” You continued. “Get pregnant, like me!”

     You and Ian ended in a cheesy pose and you looked up to find everyone spitting out their water. 

     “You guys are crazy!” Courtney shouted, clapping.

     “Ian, the breast milk again?” Anthony teased. 

     “I hate that baby,” Kieth said, laughing. “I hate it!”

     Ian looked to you. “Well, hopefully you hate the real thing a little less.”

     He grabbed your hand, and you linked your fingers with his. Ian leaned down and kissed your stomach. 

     Suddenly, Olivia, the last to laugh, spit out her water, a look of surprise on her face. 

     She gestured between you and Ian. “Wait are you guys serious?”

     Expressions of shock filled the room and everyone was momentarily silent. 

     “Guys!” Courtney shouted in anticipation. “Guys!”

     Shayne stood up, putting his hands behind his head. “No. No you guys are playing us.”

     “Wait,” Anthony looked between the two of you. “Wait are you—”

     You nodded to all of them. “We’re pregnant.”

     The room erupted into shouts of ‘oh my god!’ and ‘no way!’ and ‘wait they’re together?’—the last one was Trevor.

      It only lasted a moment before everyone was up and hugging you, congratulating you and Ian.

     “I can’t believe you guys just did that,” Anthony shook his head in disbelief. 

     You giggled. “We were waiting for the perfect moment—and I guess this was it.”

     “Well, congrats you guys,” Shayne said. 

     “You’re going to make such good parents,” Courtney nodded, turning their attention to Shayne. “And who knows, maybe we’re next.”

     Everyone laughed at the expression on Shayne’s face. 

     “Do you have any name ideas yet?” Olivia asked.

     “Not yet,” Ian said. “But I’m pulling for Ian Jr. if it’s a boy”

     “Maybe honey,” you said, patting Ian’s arm before turning to the others and shaking your head profusely.

     Kieth laughed. “So I guess Kieth is off the table?” 

     “Or Trevor?” Trevor put in. 

     “Or Olivia if it’s a girl?”

     “Well put those on the list,” you said. “Right after Ian Jr.”

     This got a laugh from everyone. You looked around at your friends at coworkers that surrounded you. You were glad everyone knew now, and could share in your happiness. 

     You grabbed Ian’s hand again, leaning into him. You had so much to look forward to together, and you couldn’t wait.

     “Can we rearrange the order?” You spun around to see Tommy peaking out from backstage, pretending to wipe a tear from under his eye. 

     “Because there’s no way I’m going after that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ i always love writing for ian and i hope y’all enjoyed this. check out my other ian fics if you enjoyed this—i think i have 5 now. mwah! 🎀

[marigoldenblooms]

April Foolishness - Headcanons

Pairing (Not all at once): Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader, Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader, Yelena Belova x Fem!Reader, Kate Bishop x Fem!Reader

MINORS DNI - 18+

Summary: How would they react to you failing miserably- masterfully pranking them at every turn?

Tags: Fluff, established relationships, swearing, attempted pranking (mentions of bugs/arachnids, fish), innuendos and tension, comfort, light power usage, no actual smut (fade to black).

A/N: Happy silly day, ya'll!! I wanted to do something fun between classes, so this is it- april fools pranks on my favorite girls. Not proofread at all. Enjoy the boops!

Images are not mine, credit to owners! ~~~

Wanda x Reader

You hadn't been dating Wanda for very long.

Well, if you don't count the years of pining, that is.

You had hidden yourself behind a corner in her hallway, arms out and ready to spook.

This had been your same trick from Halloween (which between that and the turnips did not go well-)

But this time it’d go swimmingly.

After thirty minutes later, you heard the familiar clack of her heels against the compound’s floors, and…

Nothing. Silence.

You peeked around the corner to see where the witch had gone, and-

“Boo.”

Her warm grasp hugged your middle , yet you swear you jumped out of your skin.

“What the- Fuck, Wands-“ Your terror was met with her musical laughter, patting the the sides of your stomach.

“Well if you insist, sweetheart.”

Her voice echoed

She’d let go of you, and you could see the sparkling mirth in her eyes once you turned around.

She placed a quick peck on your cheek, looping your hand with hers to play with your fingers, gaze downcast at them even as her mischievous words would enter your head without her mouth moving.

“If you want to spook a mind reader, darling..”

You gulped as her touch grew more bold, pinning you against the wall- face warming as she’d tilt her head,

“You’ll have to do better than that.”

She’d chuckle at your flustered reaction, her grin cheshire as she’d lead you back to her room, giddy with sweet excitement.

“And happy April fools to you too, Wan-“

~~~ Natasha x Reader

Natasha had always managed to prank you first before you could prank her.

One year prior, you’d ended up with an egg in your hair while your whipped-cream pie prank had gone unsung.

And that was some really good whipped cream.

This year, though- you had buttered her up. Perks of being her partner- the pranks could go even harder.

“Good morning, my dearest sunshine-“ You’d murmur, settling her in with breakfast in bed.

Your trick? Salt in her coffee instead of sugar. Genius.

Natasha propped herself up on her arms, giving you an upturned eyebrow, “Oh, and what’s the occasion?”

“Oh, nothing much..” A shit eating grin plastered her face, one that would soon be returned by the redhead.

“Birthday? Anniversary..?” She’d poke at your side as you sat down, her touch ticklish as she helped you settle the tray of food on her bedsheets.

“M-mmn, nothin’, sugar..” Oh, how you’d be eating those words soon enough.

You’d watch as she’d take a sip from her coffee, eyes wide and sparkling as she opened her mouth-

And sighed in bliss.

What the fuck was wrong with this woman.

“Delicious, baby..” Natasha purred, taking another hardy swig, and you watched as she swallowed. “You’ve outdone yourself..”

“I…uh-“ Your babbling words would be cut short as you took a drink of your own mug-

And was met with intense, uncomfortable sodium.

She cackled as you spit your mouthful back into your cup, punching her jokingly with a red face, “You- you fuckin’-“

“Switched them?”

“Not just the brew-“ Your hand would’ve found your forehead in shock, “But the mugs too- how the shit did you do that?”

“A spy will never reveal her secrets-“ She’d lean up to kiss you, but instead would shift the platter over to the side. “And you need to wash your mouth out.”

“Not before I drink my coffee..” You’d hiss, chugging her now lukewarm mug down.

That was, until you saw a plastic totally real cockroach on the bottom of the mug, shrieking before chucking it against the wall.

“Love you too, dear.”

~~~ Yelena x Reader

You didn’t think Yelena could be scared of anything.

She threw a knife at the fake spider you pranked her with last year.

And she spat in the face of the ‘piranhas’ that had infested your room’s bathroom two years ago.

And even so, you tried again this year- although with something much less terrifying.

You'd flooded Yelena's room with multicolored balloons, painstakingly blowing them up before gently setting them on her floor.

And the best part?

She was asleep in her bed the whole time.

You had almost finished the second bag of balloons when Fanny, ever the sleepy Akita, finally stirred from their rest.

The pup locked eyes with you, and you were so thankful that they didn't bark.

That didn't stop Yelena from waking, though.

The blond would rise quickly, eyes darting around as soon as her dog moved an inch. You swear she had murder in her eyes, although that might've just been from awakening so quickly.

It all left her once she found you, though.

Groggily, she'd wipe at her eyes, mumbling something before kicking her foot off the bed to stand-

Bumping into a stray balloon.

She recoiled immediately, yowling as though she'd been pained deeply- and you were at her side in a heartbeat.

"Yelena, shit- you okay?"

"Yeah.." She'd gruff, her shoulders slacking once your hands found purchase on them. She'd hide her head in your shoulder, a surprising gesture.

You wrapped your arms around her, rubbing soothing circles into her back, "No need to be frightened, honey.." She'd hold you closer, and a flicker of thought ran through your mind, "Lena..are you scared?"

"What-? No-" She'd deny, her voice especially thick this early in the morn. "You just startled me-"

"That's a form of fear, hun-" Your chuckle was met with a groan from her, before she pulled her blankets back over the two of you.

Her words were muffled, "Fine, you got me- but now you hold me until I say so."

"My big, bad, scary Lena...of course, honey."

~~~ Kate x Reader

No matter what you pranked Kate with, she was always worried about you.

It's not unfounded, after you fell down the stairs during last year's April Fools, but still.

This time, you’d actually get her.

"Kate, made you some brownies!"

You heard her clamor with a fevrency that made her sound like a one man band.

She burst out of the hallway, expression wild with hunger and apprehension-

Until she saw you holding some kiddy scissors exceptionally sharp blades of murder and death and terror and-

“Babe!” She’d screech, barreling forth to snatch the scissors from your careful hands, placing them gently on the counter, before inspecting your palm for even the slightest scratch.

She hadn’t even noticed the brown construction paper, or the cut letter you’d pressed towards her middle.

“Kate, earth to Kate-“ Your smile towards her shook her from her thoughts, “I’m okay, pretty girl..Happy April Fools!”

Between the panic and the praise, her brain had to do a soft restart after that.

After a few more seconds, her goofy grin would return again, almost coy, “Gave me a heart attack there, you know-“

“I know,” You’d motion to the tin of hello kitty bandaids you’d raided from Tony, “And I was prepared, you doofus.”

She’d smile, nodding along until her face flushed- her hand rubbing smooth circles into your hip.

“But if you, you know- wanted to do some scissoring, as they say-“ You’d sigh, shaking your head with a teasing lilt, “You’re verryy smooth, dear.”

You’d press a boop to her nose, a teasing whisper, “I’ll think about it.”

~~~

[thankskenpenders]

It's a bit late, but I figure I have to touch on the big news from today, which is that for an (early) April Fools celebration Sega went and released a free visual novel about Sonic getting murdered

Here's a thing you should know about me: I am deathly allergic to ironic visual novels, and the related trend of announcing dating sims (which are synonymous with the medium of visual novels as a whole to many people) on April Fools

Aside from an incredibly small selection of titles that have seen wider success, it feels like much of the game industry is only willing to acknowledge visual novels as a punchline. And said jokes about dating sim stereotypes have been done a million fucking times by now. They're parodies of parodies of parodies. Even when these prank dating sims actually go and get made rather than just being a few fake screenshots, it feels like it's just because VNs are seen as cheap, disposable entertainment compared to "real" games. Companies can afford to commission some bullshit like the KFC dating sim and write it off as a marketing stunt. And it works. These games will get widely reported on for being so ~wacky~, while devs pouring their hearts into doing sincere, interesting work with the medium of visual novels are usually out of fucking luck. It's so, so tiring. The fact that this happens like clockwork every year has made me come to dread April Fools Day

So imagine my surprise when The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog drops out of nowhere and it's actually one of my favorite Sonic games in years

Aside from the intentionally tongue-in-cheek, attention-grabbing title (and Sonic doing the Family Guy Death Pose), there isn't an ounce of irony here. It's just a straight up whodunnit VN set on a train, albeit a lighthearted and pretty easy one. It's still a Sonic game, after all, and Sonic games are for kids. But it's so clearly made out of a place of love, both for the characters and for murder mysteries, rather than being a parody that's constantly winking at the camera and going "haha, isn't this absurd that this even exists at all?" Forget that. This wants to tell a genuinely good little Sonic story. Not to mention how gorgeous all of the artwork is throughout, with character illustrations from IDW cover artist Min Ho Kim (AKA deegeemin)

Like, for real. I've wanted the Sonic games to explore the supporting cast more for years, and I can't believe the game to finally do it is a murder mystery visual novel released for April Fools. This might be one of the best showcases of the cast... ever, in the games? The script from Ian Mutchler is so, so great, with fun and cute moments for everyone involved. And, smartly, you see the cast through the eyes of a new character (I named them "Blorbo") who isn't necessarily familiar with things like Blaze being a princess from another dimension, making this a surprisingly valid way to introduce people to the supporting cast. I'd say more, but it's a short game, so I think everyone should just go out and play it if you haven't already

There is still part of me that wishes a Sonic visual novel like this could've been greenlit for release any other day of the year, rather than being yet another April Fools visual novel. But regardless of the excuse they used to make it, I'm extremely happy that this exists

[novella-november]

Here's a WIP list of my ideas for a full year of monthly writing events!

If you have any suggestions *please* feel free to send them in :D

Not everyone has free time to do a full 30k in November in particular, and the key of learning to write consistently...... is consistency!

Writing in earnest for just one month out of the year doesn't give you much practice, does it?

But 30k every single month can be exhausting an daunting!

So, here's my WIP proposal....

------

January [15k total / 500 each day]-- Public Domain-Day Dash -- On January 1st, pick a brand-new Public Domain work, read/study it for a week while brain storming, then spend the next three weeks writing 5k words to make by the end of the month a 15k word short story, adapting that PD Work into another genre / time period / etc. February [20k total / ~714 Each day ] -- Freedom February -- Black History Month. Each week, write 5,000 words each week celebrating freedom from tyranny in all its forms. March [9,300 total / 300 each day] -- Spring Equinox -- Each day, write 300 words based on the concepts of warmth, renewal, rebirth, changing of the guard, etc. April [8k total / ~285 per day] -- April Fools -- Each week, write 2k words of a comedy short story, to end the month with 8k words of comedy. May [6,200k total / 200 each day] -- International Workers Celebration -- Each day, write 200 words about a character in your line of work (or a nonfiction diary/article) and what you enjoy about it and how it keeps the world turning, or saving the world in some emergency, then take some time to relax, you've earned it! June [15k total / 500 each day] -- Pride Month -- write 500 words each day, either fictional or nonfictional, about queer history, pride, solidarity, or intersectionality. July [15.5k words total / 500 each day] -- Disability Pride Month -- Each day, write 500 words about your favorite genre, from the perspective of a disabled character (or a character with your own disabilities), and what kind of accommodations they use in their daily lives, without magically erasing their disability. August [15.5k words total / 500 each day]-- Alien August -- Aliens have invaded! Pick your favorite genre, and each day, write 500 words of that genre, with a plot that gets interrupted by an alien visitation! September [60-100 Pages / 2-3 each day] -- Scripting September -- Each day, write 2-3 script pages for an audio-drama, stage-play, or movie/tv show, to end the month with a 60 to 100 page script. October [20k total / 714 each day] -- Ominous October -- A choice of themes will be decided on before October, two options for each week, and everyone will write a 5k word short horror/spooky story each week, that all get posted on October 31st / Halloween

November -- Novella November [30k total / 1k each day]-- Write 1k words a day to reach 30k words by the end of the month. You can write a 30k word novella, use it as the start of a larger novel, write a series of short stories (such as writing a 7.5k word short story per week), etc. [30k total / 1k each day] December -- Don't Touch It December [6,200k total / 200 each day] -- this is your month of relaxation! Write just 200 words per day about anything you enjoyed / are proud of from the past year, and what you are looking forward to in the future! [6,200k total / 200 each day]

If you prefer to focus on just the longer challenges and spend the other months editing, we can also have mirror events each month for different ways of editing with community support!

Things like Beta reader swaps, doing cover mockups, localization help for those not writing in their first language, etc!

[starrzl]

❣« Percy Jackson m.l »❣ ⭐︎ breathe for me ⭐︎

I do not allow anyone to steal, copy or translate this work without my permission, this is my original work and mine only.

18+ I do not control what you consume on the internet but I would recommend that MDNI.

These are not my images, all rights go to the rightful owner.

TW: smut ~ language ~ sir kink ~ belly bulge ~ rough sex? ~ choking ~ multiple orgasms and squirting ~ hair pulling ~ degradation ~ slight praise ~ p in v ~ oral ( both receiving ) ~ fingering ~ kissing ~ no use of Y/N ~ FLUFF AT THE END

dom! Percy x Sub! reader

⎨may or may not have been listening to Or Nah by Ty Dolly $ign whilst writing this⎬

⎨This is in Percy's POV ⎬

"Gods dammit, I should've never helped with that damn prank"

I had decided to help Leo and the twins with some stupid prank for April fools, the twins had made a... gas- well it was a sex pollen.

What I wasn't told?

That the prank was on me.

They had told me to go inside whilst they watched guard for Chiron or Mr. D... to be fair, bad decision on trusting them, so in all my dumbness I waltzed into the Aphrodite cabin, popped open the lid of the pollen and dropped it.

But when I turned around to leave? the little shits closed the damn door.

It only took two minutes for it to hit me.

Only two minutes until I had blue balls and my stomach felt like it was being tied into multiple knots.

And another twenty minutes until I got the strength to climb out of one of the open windows.

By then I was sweating, I could bearly breathe, I knew what I needed, I needed relief.

So stumbled to the only place I could think of, my cabin.

So this is how we got here.

Me trying to catch my breath as I stare at my girlfriend, eyes half-lidded, pupils blown in lust and a small wet patch of pre-cum seeping through my shorts.

She's so beautiful only in small denim shorts that showed just the right amount of ass and one of my camp shirts.

I start to drift, slipping into a lust-filled headspace until her voice drags me out of it, but she's not near the bed anymore.

She's right in front of me.

"Percy?" Her voice was soft, but I wonder how it would sound screaming my name.

"hm?" It's all that came out of my mouth, i'm not sure if i could trust myself.

"Are you okay? you look a little red" Gods, she smells so good.

Everything is electric, everything is hot and it's all too much, her voice, her smile, the way she looks up at me with those perfect eyes- its all soo much.

"mhm... I-" I choke on my words, looking down at her lips, those perfect... soft... lips.

The next this I know I'm pushing her against the bed, hand on her neck, not squeezing but applying pressure, it's messy, it's wet, it's perfect.

"y-ou're needy h-huh?" she laughs, but I don't say anything, I just kiss her harder, because I know that she won't be laughing when she's underneath me, screaming my name.

"Tell me to stop." I know she won't. she doesn't want me to. that's why she her hands slip under my shirt, her hands cold, resting on my stomach.

"Need you.. so bad" Its a whisper, but I can hear it, moving her back wards until her knees touch the bed, making her fall back onto it, me on top of her, just kissing... I swear I could cum just from this, she tastes so good, so sweat.

My hand slips up her shirt, feeling no bra I smirk, normally I wouldn't be this needy... this pollens making everything so much more hot.

I detach my mouth from her's, kissing down her neck and hearing her moan, I leave hickeys, hickeys that would stay for days.

I pull her shirt off, its quick, not waisting any time before I latch onto her nipple, I stay there for a second, my cock twitches in my pants and i feel myself become impossibly harder.

I circle my tongue around her nipple and the moan she lets out makes me groan, my hands griping her waist, as I suck and kiss and nip at her tits.

I keep this up for a good ten minutes before I move to the other breast, doing the same thing to the other breast and leaving small love bites on the flesh before I kiss down the chest and onto her stomach, moving down further and further.

When I reach her shorts I press a kiss on her clothed clit, her hips buck and I hold her hips down, unbuttoning her shorts and pulling them off, along with her panties.

She's soaking, dripping with slick and I waste no time latching onto her clit, feeling her hands tangle in my hair, pulling as she tries to buck her hips up, her moans spurring me on to go on.

I twirled my tongue around it, licking, sucking, it was messy, my tongue licking the juices that spill from her pussy.

Her moans go straight to my dick, I don't wait to lick up every juice that leaks out of her wet cunt after she came.

I bring my fingers to her hole before pushing in, I set a fast pace, thrusting my fingers in and out until she's cumming once again.

I see the overstimulation, her eyes closed tightly, breathing heavy and moans loud.

I sit up on my knees, manhandling her like a doll until her chest is to the mattress and her ass is up in the air.

I pull my shirt over my head, unbuckle my belt, and pull off my pants and boxers, my tip leaking, red and swollen.

Normally I would test her, make her beg a little, but no, not this time.

I push into her without warning, setting a brutal and fast pace, the only noises in the room are skin on skin and the moan of her sweet voice.

My hips hit hers and I slip into a fuzzy and needy headspace, going even faster, her moans now whimpers and choked up whispers of my name.

My hands grab her hips and I piston into her harder, grating her hair in my fist and pulling her up until she's flat against me, a hand around her throat as I choke her slightly, feeling her queen my cock harder than before.

"You like that? yeah, I know you do, you know why?"

I'm being mean, but it's not like I care, I know she loves it. she always does.

"mmmmh why- sir-" she manages to choke out, she's whiney and needy.

I lean down, my head in her neck, biting and sucking bruises into her perfect, soft skin.

"Because you're a dumb slut" I her cum again, my hips stop and I let out a deep groan as her pussy clenches around me like a vice, and before I know what's happening, I'm feeling myself spurt white, sticky, longs streams of cum into her, painting her gummy walls white.

But that wasn't enough. no. I still had blue balls and she wasn't brain dead yet.

I pull out, let her lay on her stomach for only a moment before I flip her over. Grabbing her thighs, throwing them over my shoulders and thrusting back into her.

I don't see it but both of our eyes roll back into our head, I was deeper than ever and when I come back down to earth... I look down to where we're connected and see a small bulge just under her belly button...

I cum from just seeing it, and I feel her legs start to shake as she squirts all over my thighs and ruins the sheets.

"Shit baby, look at that, taking me so good" I start to feel slightly better, my head not as fuzzy and my stomach not as tight.

When I start to move I see her legs start to shake, I go as fast as my body would, as hard as I could... I wanted her to be screaming.

It doesn't take long, she's screaming, her legs shaking as I pound her tight cunt harder than she's ever had all the while pressing against the bulge.

I moan as I cum for one again, stilling inside her as we cum together, my hair sticking to my head and sweat making our bodies shine.

"One more, pretty... one more" My mind was practically clear but I could feel the knot still in my stomach.

So I slowly pull out, carefully so I don't stimulate her too much, but she still whines and bucks her hips up when I do.

"Think you can get on your knees, sweetheart?" I try to be nice, I know I just put her through a lot and she's probably tired.

When she finally gets on her knees she takes my cock in her hand and kitten licked the tip, before slowly starting to go deeper and deeper, until she's flush against my pelvis, gagging.

I hold her there and start to softly thrust into her mouth, it take a minute before I'm painting her throat white and she's swallowing.

"Thank you..." Now that I come back to my senses I was a blushing mess, I lay her down on the bed before I run to the bathroom, grab a warm, wet cloth and walk back.

As I softly start to clean us up I thank her, thank her for being such a good girl for me and helping me.

I grab her one of my shirts and I put on some sweat pants before I lay down with her under the covers.

Her head on my chest as she starts to doze off.

"I love you, Percy" It's quite... but I still hear it.

"I love you too."

AHHHH FIRST FIC IS COMPLETE !

No but in all seriousness, I really tried and I hope you like this ! It took me a while but I did it as fast and best as I could, enjoy it ! I will be coming back to edit this tho.

remember to stay hydrated and get enough sleep .

until next time !

𝑥𝑜𝑥𝑜 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛 ⭐︎