#just 500 chapters ago!
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#naruto#uchiha itachi#missed eyes#chapter 49#just 500 chapters ago!#to think i was misled by the naruto wiki telling me his first appearance was later DESPITE haveing rewatched this scene 87867545 times#for my forest of death piece....#thank you anon for reminding me!#i am very much enjoying looking at this older scratchy style again :)#the 'missed eyes' tag is taken from my izuna blog where i also missed a couple jpegs....#mostly caught those ones following everymadara :)#glad i have attentive eyes on here directly this time#anyway i'll be doing these for now until i've caught them all and then we'll go back to present time
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wouldn't expect a lot of queenmaker until ~christmas time, which is not what i would like to say but my body is just telling me to ease up after november and i'm hitting that pre-holiday slump so we're just chillin. we're playing a game for the first time in six months. we're doing a puzzle. my eyes are really blurry rn so i think i'll go to bed.
#i did manage to sit down and do a lot of planning for queenmaker specifically though#had a good chat with zom mom about pacing and stuff#i say 'ease up' like i haven't added more projects/tasks to the list#i've just half started looking at planning and editing rather than writing like crazy#picked up daily korean practice again#added my novel back to my wip list#we're now working on the basis of 'every time i hate my job and i want a new career i write 1k of my novel'#whatever works#this is a lot of tags for someone with very blurry eyes#the game thing actually doesn't help with physical illness my tv is too small and it just makes my eyes strain really hard#one day someone is going to give me the gs i'm owed and i'll get to buy a new one#technically i saved for a new tv six months ago my savings are just tied up in an offshore account called Someone Else's Pockets#these tags have gotten way out of hand#i just wanted to talk about my life idk#been too busy to talk to my friends about life? post it in the tumblr tags#anyway i'm sure z m or keeps or someone is all the way down here#Roundup!#queenmaker has like 16 chapters plotted#none of chapter 5 written but i'm definitely. looking at starting it.#nevermore i wrote 500 words#haven't looked at it in a week#know exactly where it goes so if i'm not stuck i'm circling back within a month#pirates is ongoing most nights#however i don't know what the scene by scene play is so#very much Just Vibing i added what i will call the cake scene today because i was emotional about an uneaten piece of cake from a month ago#so that's where pirates and my mental health are at#damn this is a full life update huh#systems check#heart (the novel) is truly at 100k now#i figured out the holes in the first part of it so i can actually connect all these dots now
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in case you were wondering how writing dreamless has been going so far
#i drew this as a joke a few weeks ago but holy FUCK has it only made itself more true since#i'm slowly inching along with chapters 4 and 5#they're tough to write because of the material#especially 5 as i'm finding; i just finished squeezing out another 500 words and i have to stop for a bit#both because i need to iron some facts out and because i'm genuinely horrified at what i just wrote#it's a lot. heed the warnings and all yknow#id in alt text#my art#dreamless au#hollow knight#eh fine i'll put it in the main tag#this was also kind of a test for a new way to draw ghost's head#i sort of messed up anyway; the neck connection is too high up#but i do like it more#ghost#the knight#forgetting all my tagssssssss
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@tuzesdays
here's what "my characters took over the story" means for me:
I have a chapter written. I'm rewriting the beginning from scratch. I have a little outline of what I want to happen in the new version because that's the way I write - plan first with bad words, then make words more good.
I start writing the "good" version over the outline, and then suddenly I realize one of my characters would consider climbing from the passenger's seat of the car into the backseat while the car's still moving.
But...no...the dynamic completely changes if he's in the backseat. And I'd also have to comb through the part of the chapter I wasn't planning to rewrite for continuity, since his dumb ass is now in the back. And that's so much work, and I already have part of this written the way I'd originally planned, and I don't want to undo it and-
goddammit it's so much funnier if he climbs in the backseat
#yeah.#my oc kori does this a lot#I'll be halfway through a chapter and he just. hijacks it. 'hey what if i did this though' bro that was 500 words ago I'm not rewriting that#//reblog
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So ngl I've been procrastinating a lot and I've seen a bunch of those likes motivation posts and stuff and even though my blog ain't that popular, thought I'd try. Pls help me @totally-peacock-i-swear
At 25 notes, I'll start completing my math homework the day it's assigned (we get one everyday but they're due on Wednesdays)
At 50 notes, I'll draw in my sketchbook at least once a week (rn it's like once a month)
At 100 notes, I'll start working with my watercolor pencils and charcoal pencils (mostly supplies I hardly use, especially paints)
At 200 notes, I'll experiment with different art styles (realism, minimal, etc)
At 500 notes, I'll clean my room.
At 1,000 notes, I'll finish reading The Blood of Olympus by Rick Riordan (I abandoned it like 4-5 years ago)
At 1,500 notes, I'll CLEAN my room (and maybe closet)
At 2,000 notes, I'll write to chapter 10 in my book (25 if this gets over 25,000 (get it, 25k for chapter 25))
At 5,000 notes, I'll read 10 pages+ of whatever book I'm reading before going to bed (instead of watching yt, idk why this isn't in here sooner but oh well)
At 10,000 notes, I'll clean my OLD room!! (Basically I just took what I wanted for my new room and left the other one as a wasteland)
At 15,000 notes, I'll start a YouTube channel for all the videos I've wanted to do (mostly gameplay or bloxburg building, even featuring my voice, idk I've just been thinking it'd be cool to do that, recently)
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The Ex and Why's
Summary: No one knows much about Simon’s life aside from what was listed on his files. The family that had died a tragic death, the trauma that came with his actions, and the rank that made him what he was today. No one had realized that behind the balaclava wearing man from Manchester was a man that once had a heart and signed divorced papers he had constantly regretted signing all those years ago.. Character: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Ex Wife!Reader. John Price. Kate Laswell. Johnny "Soap" MacTavish. Kyle "Gaz" Garrick Word Count: 9,787 Chapter Warnings: Angst with Happy Ending. Miscommunication. Mention of Minor Character Deaths. Mention of Divorce. Life threatening Injuries. Mention of Simon's tragic past and trauma. Not edited (sorry!) AN: I can now sleep in peace. If you enjoyed it why not visit my mini celebration and post your own requests I can write just like this.
Masterlist || Request are Open || 500 Followers Celebration
When you had learned about this new job, one thing you had so gotten used to doing was letting Simon know about it. But not this time, something about letting him back into your life wasn’t something you should do anymore. You were no longer married to him by your own choice and no one else’s. So you know it was time to wear your big girl pants now and stopped letting him know about it.
You no longer had any reason to give your ex-husband any updates about your life. A more selfish reason was how you just wanted to start a new life, away from him and away from anything that was related to him.
“Ms. Riley?”
You turned smiling at the man that would now be your new boss. You learned his name to be John Price, a Captain.
Being married to a man like Simon Riley once upon a time, you know some thing or two about what goes on inside of a military base. Even when he hasn’t talked much about it with you during your relationship or if he even gone as far as mention your existence to the people he had once worked with. You chalked it up to overprotectiveness and fear that they would get to you, and some night thing that he was simply embarrassed about you. Maybe it’s another reason why you had opted out of telling him about this new job of yours.
“Captain Price, it’s good to finally meet you.” You firmly shook the man’s hand. A good first impression was the best thing for you to do if it meant making sure you work for the man for the foreseeable future.
“Likewise, Laswell as spoke great things about you and I’m hoping to be able to experience it firsthand.”
You nodded with a smile. Working for Kate’s wife for nearly a few years beforehand, you had appreciated the suggestion for this new role as a secretary for the Captain ever since your divorce. She had understood you needed this change in pace in your life and this was much of a welcome change.
“I do hope it’s all good things.” You quipped right back earning a deep resonating chuckle from the older man.
“Well I think now that introductions as over and done with, let me show you to my office. I do hope you’re up for dealing with a handful of documents for me on your first day.”
“More than happy to.” You beamed following the man, his larger hand holding onto the small of your back as you began your journey into the heart of the base.
All throughout the walk, he was giving your directions to where most things were. You were warned how some men could be rowdy at time and he was more than happy to help in the off chance that any of his men would give you problems.
All you could do was smile, not wanting him to know that you were more than well equipped to punch or kick anyone that would get too handsy with you. One of the perks of having an ex-husband working for the military.
He continued on with how things go around in the base. Schedules for meal time and the curfew in the event that you would be staying in the base overnight. He had also showed you to where your new room would be located in.
“You would be a few rooms away from my own as well as the Lieutenant and Sergeants that I trust most. In the event that I’m unavailable, they will be more than willing to lend you a hand if you need it.”
You nodded before you finally arrived in his office. Opening the door for you, you were greeted with a spacious office. Even in the chaos of the military base, the man’s office was pristine, a few knick knacks and photos that littered his walls, as well as a bookshelf that housed an array of military strategies books. But the most alarming thing about his office was the other table that housed stack upon stacks of folders, papers practically spilling out from each and every single one of them.
“I may or may not have underestimated the help I truly need in this situation.” The Captain said sheepishly as you began opening the folders and gasped that most of them weren’t even ordered correctly even with the page numbers printed on them.
“I think I can manage this.” You blinked hoping you didn’t bite more than you could chew in this moment.
For the next few hours, your time was spent removing staplers upon staplers from the papers for each and every single one of the folders while you were inquiring to John the calls you would be fielding for him from now on and how he would want you to deal with it.
You had learned so much about the man in the few hours being in the same room as him. He was a man that wanted to ensure the safety of the world, even if it meant bloodying his hands up a little just to make sure of it. It showed with some of the missions reports that you may or may not have accidentally read too much into. You’ve also learned how much he hated talking to upper ranking officials if not needed, he was a man that hated authority yet he was working in the field that he was in right now from the way his comments about letting calls from upper ranks go to voice mail if possible.
“Will there be anything or anyone that I should be worried about for now?” You inquired making sure that you did not stir anyone in the wrong way if possible.
“I’m sure Laswell has told you enough to understand our work. Some men are more scarred than sane and if possible, I want you to make sure that you do not give anyone the wrong impression if possible.”
You know what he was implying and with your own experience you know far too well that getting yourself involved with another man in uniform would lead into.
“I’ve done my fair share, Captain. I don’t think that would be much of a problem with me.” You reassured him.
“Laswell told me you were divorced.” He began, huh, who would have thought the man would be the gossiping type.
“It’s been a few years,” You shrugged attention solely on rearranging the files at hand. “It took months before my ex-husband signed the papers, I wanted to think it was because he was deployed but I knew otherwise.” You muttered.
When you had made the decision to finally break things off with Simon, it was like pulling teeth with the man and his near avoidance about the discussion or where you would be sending the divorce papers. You had enough of it, leaving the home you once shared instead with everything you owned and left nothing more of you than the divorce papers alongside the wedding ring and engagement ring he had given you all those years ago.
“He was military too?”
“Something like that.” You nodded not wanting to think too much about the man. Even after everything, you still worried about you giving the man too much information in the event that he works for the opposing side if the chance may have it.
“Well his lost is my gain.” He snorts turning his attention back to the freshly arranged folders courtesy of you that were now ready for his signature. “No offense.”
“None taken, Captain.”
Eventually the man had excused himself for a meeting and had instructed you that no one would be allowed inside aside from him. He had also reminded you about lunch which you could head on out first or you could join him once his meeting was done. You’ve decided it would be best to join him for lunch for now, just to get a feeling of anyone that you would get into contact with on your first day.
With a quick goodbye, you were left on your own and you all but groaned at the folders still stacked up and yet to be touched. It truly made you wonder how the man could be so good in his job yet be so horrible with his paperwork. You will never understand.
Your eyes fixated for a moment on one of the pictures on the wall. It was your boss with three individuals. A blue eyed man with a horrible cut Mohawk but the biggest beaming smile on his face, his arm wrapped around a much younger man with darker skin but a bright eyes that twinkled with happiness for whatever was going on when the photo was taken. But amongst the camaraderie and enjoyment was a man in a skull balaclava mask that had such an empty but somehow familiar eyes, the man stuck out like a sore thumb even with the Captain’s hand resting on the taller man’s shoulder and beaming smile and a cigar between his lips. It was an odd mix of people but it was like family—it made you miss Simon for a moment before your attention got right back to the paperworks.
You can’t think of him now. Not anymore.
After the events of Las Almas, Simon Riley had truly fought the urge to call you, to tell you how much you mean the world to him and how he was now more than willing to give you the compromise you had always longed from him. But a part of him, the bigger and much darker part of him had refused, slamming his own phone onto the wall in the sheer anger of everything that had occurred in the moment. You had made your choice because of his own action and he would be cruel to take that away from you.
“Heard Cap had a new Secretary, old man’s gonna finally keep his paperworks in check now.” Soap had ruining Simon’s sulking in the cafeteria.
It’s been a grueling few days. With new recruits he was forced to deal with in the morning and nightmares that you no longer could vanish for him at night. His life was nothing more than misery personified and he has no one else to blame but himself.
“Can’t say I’m surprise. Laswell probably set it up for him.” Simon muttered being more than within earshot when he heard both Laswell and Price arguing about the man’s need for necessary help with files. It was Laswell’s decision above anything else, it’s just a matter of time if the secretary would actually last with how everything goes around here in the base.
“Still, hope we’ll have a new bonnie around. Getting sick and tired of seeing Bampots all around.”
Simon didn’t even had the energy to question the man’s slangs, his attention solely back on his cup of tea and lunch—how horrible it was compared to your cup and cooking, but he never truly appreciated it until it was gone. His tea was too bitter even with the sugar and cream he added and the food that didn’t have the special kick compared to your own cooking. Even years after the divorce he was still so miserable without you in his life.
“Steamin Jesus.”
Simon could practically hear Soap melt from where he sat in front of him, his eyes directed at whoever was behind Simon. His curiosity got the better of him and his head turned and he was welcomed with the last person he would have ever believed to be walking besides one John Price.
“Yer lookin’ a bit peely wally.” Soap pointed out breaking Simon from his trance.
“English, MacTavish.”
“You look a lil’ pale, Lt. Like you’ve seen a fucking ghost.”
Simon could have at this point. As you walked besides Price towards the table he sat in. He noticed how unaware you were even at the sight of him only for him to realize that you had never seen him with his mask on, or in anything that has to do with his line of work—until now.
“Right, I think it’s time to introduce this lovely lass.” Price cleared his throat but he should have known by now that both Simon and Soap’s attention were already on them both. “This is Y/N Riley, my new secretary.”
Simon’s brows rose at that little tidbit. You still had his last name. He understood to a degree why you did so—your family that you had long cut off from your life after what they had done to you, but after everything that had happened between the two of you he wouldn’t have expect you to choose the lesser of two evils—being his last name.
“Riley? She a sister or wife to you, Lt?” Soap’s quick remark earned him a glare from Simon before his attention was back to you, how your brows furrowed before your eyes finally widen in realization.
“Purely coincidence.” Simon muttered.
“This is Sgt. Johnny “Soap” MacTavish and Lt. Simon “Ghost” Riley.” Price introduced almost realizing at this point the similarity of the last name you both shared in this moment.
“Nice to meet you two.” You smiled, quickly to compose yourself and shaking both men’s hand.
Even with the glove Simon wore, he could still feel the all too familiar electric shock of your touch against his own. He looked at you how easy your eyes dilated at his touch. It scared him still how you had so much of an effect on him even after the years apart from each other.
As you and Price excused yourselves to get lunch, it left Simon wondering if this was the world finally punishing him for everything he has done in his cruel life. Give him the very thing he had wanted the most only to pull it away at every instance.
“Bloody fucking hell.”
It’s been two weeks since you’ve began your new job as Captain John Price’s secretary. Two weeks since you had tried and succeeded in making sure you had avoided the man known in the base as Ghost—or to you, simply known as Simon Riley, your ex-husband. Every single instance that you were both placed in the same room (mostly in Price’s office), you both acted like you didn’t know each other, it was hard knowing just how close the man was after so long of a separation from each other.
But as much of an avoidance you’ve made for the Lieutenant, the same could not be said for the two Sergeants that had been dead set in making themselves both your companion while in the base but as well as your guard dogs from the ballsy few that would dare ask you out on a date. You appreciated the effort as much as it was not needed knowing it earned a dangerous glare from your ex in the process.
“Looks like you’re right at home.”
You jerked your head up from the files you were arranging at the voice of an all too familiar woman. A smile rested on your face at the sight of one Kate Laswell, your former boss’ wife.
“Kate.” You smiled an exhausted sigh escaping your lips at the sight of the woman. Both her and her wife had been the pair that knew what you had been through since your divorce and she was one of the two people that saw behind the façade you had decided to show the world.
“How are you holding up?” She inquired.
“Doing better.” You assured her. “Just a slight problem but nothing I can’t deal with now.”
“Oh no. Is your ex-husband bothering you again? I told you to just say the name and I’ll find some dirt on him in a heartbeat.”
You chuckled, knowing how that would be close to impossible with the man’s stand and rank in the Taskforce.
“Simon Riley.” You said instead and watched the way her eyes widen upon realization.
“Why did I not put two and two together?” She snorted realizing the small misjudgment on her part. “Does John know?”
You shook your head. You didn’t know how, but in the weeks of working at the base, you had been successful enough not to let the small detail spill. It was for both of your sakes and you feared that if you told the man, you would be fired and not him, not that you would want him to choose between the two of you.
“It would be a shame if John couldn’t keep you working for him because of your past with Ghost. I’m actually able to see his files being sent to me on time for once and he’s less stress in this past week for once.”
You blushed, knowing that that was a compliment, something that was rarely spoken by one Kate Laswell in the years of working for her wife.
“I genuinely don’t want to go either.” You spoke honestly. “Even with the situation.”
“Will you keep the information to yourself for now?” She inquired. “What does Ghost think of this?”
“I haven’t talk to him since I’ve gotten here.” You spoke honestly. “And I think it would be better if don’t talk to him about it either.”
“Talk to who about?”
Both of you had jerked your head towards the owner of the voice and it was Price with your husband, Soap, and Gaz in tow. You looked panicked at Kate hoping she could help you out this predicament with the man in the very room with them.
“My wife’s been asking how she’s been holding up since the divorce and if she’s gotten around to talking to her ex.” Kate brushed off and you wanted to face palm yourself, not the answer you were hoping for her to give.
“Wait you were married?” Gaz piped in with surprise.
“Was.” You corrected, eyes glancing towards Simon for a moment before turning your attention right back to the younger man. “But it’s nothing to worry about, you know how Kate’s wife is.” You tried your best to reassure everyone.
“Well that bloke lost something good that’s for sure.” Soap quipped right back with a flirty wink. You’ve learned this was the default with the man. “Right Lt?”
Both you and Kate found yourself looking at the man and it somehow clicked to him that you both were now more than aware of the currently predicament that fell before you and without another word left the office, slamming the door behind him.
To this very day, Simon still can’t understand why he had signed those papers. Why didn’t he just talk with you and made a compromise. Instead he became an asshole that avoided any forms of communications with you until he was left with no other choice but divorce papers waiting for him at home and every single trace of you no longer in the home you two once shared.
In the deepest depths of his bedside drawer was the divorce papers that officially separated him from you, the two ring boxes that housed his wedding ring and the engagement ring he had bought for you. Around his neck, alongside his Dog tag was your wedding ring—the same wedding ring you had left on top of the coffee table of your home, with the divorce papers right under it.
It was his fears that finally came to life and he truly didn’t know why his body automatically signed without even reaching out to you first. To this day, in the years that has passed he still wonder what his life and relationship could be if he fought for your marriage.
Would he still be married to you right now? Would the two of you finally have the family you had always wanted? Maybe by now your first kid would have been three, he had always dreamed of having a daughter. A darling little girl that was a spitting image of you, a daughter he would protect with his life over and over again.
That could have been his life, but he was far too stupid for his own good. He was too much of a bastard that ruins everything good that comes into his life. He pays the price every single night he comes home to his apartment—empty and lacked the warmth that only you could ever give to someone like him.
He made his bed and he was sleeping in tears because of it.
“There he is, good you’ve got your arse here, LT.”
Another one of the mistakes he seems to be making in his life was joining the rest of the team in the pub and realizing that you have come to join them this time around.
Bloody fucking hell you were as beautiful as the first day he had ever laid eyes on you. There was the twinkle in your eyes he had once thought he had diminished as you continued on with whatever conversation you were having with Gaz with Price listening on. You had on your favorite red crepe dress that slightly showed some cleavage but not enough to be indecent, with your favorite locket that he had brought for you while you were still dating, and the first ever expensive Cartier watch you had brought for yourself (which Simon would have more than willingly bought for you if you allowed it) while saving up your checks.
Fate was nothing but a cruel sick man for giving this sight of you in front of him and never allowing him the taste he always craved. A gift that wasn’t his to accept—anymore.
“You know how traffic is, Johnny.” He muttered finding himself sitting beside the man and in the process finding himself sitting right in front of you in the process.
“Bullshit,” Soap snorted. “Stopped by a bonnie we didn’t know about?”
Simon glanced towards you, the momentary hurt that passed through your eyes before you continued on with your conversation with Gaz, now hearing you were both talking about your Uni days and how you found yourself involved with working for Laswell’s wife all those years ago.
“Don’t have the time nor the energy for another headache in my life.” He spoke realizing that it was the wrong thing to say with you in front of him. He could have said it if you were not here, but not in your presence, it diminishes every single thing he had ever had with you.
It wasn’t what he meant but he couldn’t truly take it back.
“I can second that.” You spoke finally meeting his eyes this time. An unrecognizable look in your eyes as you stared right at him. “And this is coming from someone that’s already made a mistake of ever getting married to a man in the military.”
This has opened the floodgate for everyone in the table to question you about your apparent divorce. He had no one else to blame for this than himself. He listened in now as you continued on answering questions about your relationship with him and the eventual divorce, but made sure it was vague enough not to have fingers pointed at him.
“So, you loved the man more than life itself and all that, why divorce?” Soap had asked the million dollar question.
“It’s gets tiresome to love someone that doesn’t want to help himself.” You spoke honestly. “Year of trying to understand him, only to push shoved away over and over again, it hurts and it gets tiresome. I just had to go before the love turns to hate.”
In the years since the divorce, there was never closure between the two of you. The forms of communications that you both had were mostly about him being deployed again or of you and your plans of moving around or changing careers. Never did either of you had the much needed closure that you both deserved—until now, not directed at him.
“If any of you ever attempt getting involved with a guy or girl make sure you’re serious about the relationship a hundred percent, not fifty, not seventy-five, not even fucking ninety. Because that small fraction you’re not giving them might be the very reason why everything falls apart.”
Simon finds himself blinking at the words that now escaped your lips. The downright resentment that still lingered in your tongue even after everything that had occurred between the two of you. He shouldn’t have signed those fucking divorce papers.
Marriage Counseling, they should have had marriage counselling like you had begged from him all those years ago.
He stood, excusing himself to order the next round of drinks. He doesn’t have it in him anymore to listen to your words cutting him to the very core.
One of the biggest mistake about accepting Price’s offer of going out with the rest of the team for a quick drink was forgetting your non-existing alcohol tolerance. As the drink was now swimming through your blood stream, your lips become looser and there were few moments were you had almost spilled the fact that your ex-husband just happens to be sitting in front of you in the table you shared with the rest of 141.
“You sure you’ll be alright to head home on your own?” Your boss has inquired the moment it was announced the pub was closing up for the early morning.
You nodded with a smile, but the warmth that you were certain painted your skin and the dazed eyes, you were all too sure that it would be a big mistake for you to do. Go knows how dangerous it would be for a drunk like you to head home all on your own.
“I’ll take her home.” Simon announced and before you could protest, John had nodded agreeing that it would be the best thing to do and you couldn’t protest or show even a smidge of irritation as you were given a death glare by your ex-husband.
“Thank you for letting me join you guys.” You spoke towards your boss, the giggly duo of Soap and Gaz. “I’ll text once I get home.” You promised them following Simon out of the pub.
You took a deep breath as the cool morning air sobered you up for a moment as you waited for the man with his car. Frowning when you realized the man didn’t have his car with him but rather his death machine known as his motorcycle.
“Here.” He muttered practically shoving an all too familiar helmet towards you.
Like quick work, you had put on the helmet, ensuring to adjust the strap before the man does. You were still unprepared to be in close proximity with the man but here you were.
Watching him pull down the foot peg, he turned to you waiting for you to ride him—ride his motorcycle. With a deep breath you rode behind him, the skirt riding up your legs and he was quick to pull it down for your own decency before revving the engine on.
“Hold on tight.” He ordered and your body was on autopilot as you wrapped your arms around his waist as he sped off.
You know it was the alcohol but you find yourself smelling him, the all too familiar smell of his musk and cologne—the same cologne you had given him when he told you were promoted to Lieutenant. Your head rested on his back, cheek squished against the expansion of his back, feeling the way his back tense at your touch as it had the same effect for you feeling his warmth all over again.
“Where?” He questioned you as the bike halted at the stoplight.
You slurred your words, but you did your best to tell him directions to where your apartment was. Your sober self would have slapped you at the back of the head for letting Simon know about your whereabouts, knowing it wasn’t something he needed to know anymore.
For a moment as the winds blew against your cheeks, you were brought back to the memories of your time together. How you feared his driving and his bike more than anything else in the world but every single time he made sure you were at your safest with him, always did even in this moment.
You remembered the dates you would both have at night when he was at his most sleepless. By the park, your arms wrapped around him as his head rested on your shoulders. How you had carried so much of his nightmare even when you truly knew nothing but what he would let you know which wasn’t much and would only be in the instance that you would have accidentally heard during his nightmares.
You remembered how tired you were as much as you loved him, how much he had meant the world to you in that very moment but slowly but surely it wasn’t the same anymore. You felt the resentment before the anger for everything he wasn’t willing to give you. You gave him everything thing but he could barely give you anything in return.
“We’re here.” Simon announced, pulling away from him you turned and he was right. You were back in your apartment and you didn’t realize how fast time has flown since as you were deep in your thoughts.
Hopping down the bike with the man helping you, you turned to him and your mouth moved before you could stop yourself.
“Want to head inside—for coffee at least as a thank you?”
“I think coffee and a conversation would be the best thing for the both of us to do at this point in time, Love.”
You felt your pulse quicken as everything single thing you had talked about in the pub was coming back to bite you in the ass. Simon has his ulterior motive after all for wanting to escort you back home.
All you did was nod, heading to the door with the man following closely behind. You felt your hands shaking but you had succeeded in keying the door open. Opening the door for him, you walked further inside, opening the lights and toeing off the flats you had on.
You placed your wallet and keys on the coffee table and found yourself sitting on the couch waiting for the man to follow you.
You heard Simon close the door, the sound of the lock being turned and the sound of his leather jacket had you worried for what was to come.
“I fucking take you seriously with the bloody helmet still on your head.” He pointed out as he stood right in front of you, unclasping the helmet from your head and for the first time in a long time, you saw him up close and the way the darkness of his eye bags was the most prominent about him—it had gotten so much worse than when you were still married. Was it because of you?
“Sorry.” You mumbled as you watched him place the helmet on top of the coffee table alongside most of your things.
“Where’s the kitchen?”
You pointed towards you left and the man had made himself at him. The sound of cupboard being opened and the all too familiar muttering of horrible instant coffee you always wanted was heard. You wanted to let out a giggle but the sudden fear of the reality of your decision brought back something you never thought you would ever relive.
You sigh elbows digging onto your thighs, as your slumped your face into your hands. Why did you offer to have him here? Why did you accept the offer of him taking you back home? Why did you accept Kate’s offer of working for John? Why did you decide to divorce Simon?
In your own mini-panic attack, the smell of vanilla latte had you pulling away from your hands and you saw the cup of coffee already in the table and Simon was already sitting in front of you, without the surgical mask and without the figurative mask he was wearing at the base.
“Why are you doing this to me?” He questioned.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Of all the places you could work why the base?”
“It’s not like I knew you were working for Price.” You snort. “It was Kate that suggested I work there—a new environment for me after everything that happened.”
Kate had called it her own version of exposure therapy. You truly appreciated her help even after knowing your ex-husband was working there in the same vicinity as you.
“You could have left?”
You snort. Aside from everything that came with the military, the money was too good to leave—but that was not something you would want to discuss with Simon knowing his intent to still provide for you even with the ink on the divorce papers were still drying.
“Why would I? You and I have nothing between us.” You spoke, knife sharp as his own words of calling you a headache to him.
“What you said to the team is that the real reason why you filed for divorce?”
All you could do was nod.
“You could have talk to me that you weren’t happy anymore we could have made it work.”
“No you won’t, Si.” You shook your head, arms crossed against your chest, you feared the words that would be thrown between the two of you now especially at your state. “I would have made it work.”
“What do you want me to do then? What could I have done then? You say one thing but mean something else?”
“Because every single time I wanted you to open up to me, you closed yourself up even more!” You spat right at him now. “Do you know how hard it was for me to bare myself to you about the shit in my life and in my family only to be reciprocated with how your family was fucked up but not an explanation for it?”
“That’s none of your business.” His voice grows dark, it was a sensitive topic.
“Then why were we even married if it wasn’t my business?” Your voice growing louder now, exasperated by this conversation. “What was the use of our vows if you would keep the smallest things a secret from me?”
“It’s not fucking small!” He screamed right back at you and you instinctively flinched at his voice then. Why was he being so cruel to you now?
“When I married you, I accepted you for who you are, I accepted that you can’t truly tell me what your missions were about or about whatever details about your deployment were. But even just something, anything that would make me believe that I was something more than a whore you could fuck and a maid that would take care of the house and cook you fucking food would have been appreciated.”
“You were my wife, wasn’t that enough?”
“No it was not, Simon.” You spat. “You never made me feel like I was truly your wife when you shut yourself down after coming home to me. You weren’t the same man that I had accidentally spilled coffee on when we first met.”
“If you knew me for the things I’ve been through you wouldn’t look at me the same way.”
“And how would you know that?” You questioned him. “How could you think for me when you don’t even know what I would think of you after everything we’ve been through?”
“You want to know the truth?”
“Yes. Maybe that way I can finally move on from anything that has to do with you.”
You know that was the wrong thing to say as the man cracked his neck and began to talk. About his life, about the abuse he had to endure at the hands of his father. He began to talk about the new beginning of his life when his father died and everyone tried their best to recover. He told you of his mother that he loved more than anything else at that point, of his brother, of his sister-in-law, and of his young nephew Joseph.
He told you about how he was finally at peace with the trauma of his life back then before things gotten to hell and back. He told you of the man named Roba, he told you of the abuse he had to once again go through at the hands of Roba’s men, physically, mentally, and sexually. He told you why he hated confined spaced after being buried alive in a coffin with a man named Vernon, a rotten corpse that he had to use the jaw of to escape death.
He told you of the death of his family, of Marcus Washington killing his family. Killing his mother, his brother, his sister-in-law, and his nephew that didn’t deserve being involved in anything the mission was about. He told you how he had to burn the bodies of what was left of his family and his identity in the process. You learned then why he was called Ghost and what it had meant for him and his past that continued to haunt him.
You were left stunned, unable to form words about everything that has happened to your husband. But it was the fact that now everything about him made sense. All the little things about his personality of why he was the man that sat in front of you today. It all made sense and it scared you that he was right. How you truly didn’t know what to say or what to feel now that you’ve learned of his past that he tried so hard to hide from you.
“Happy?”
“Don’t be cruel, Simon.” You whispered now, the tears were slowly forming from your eyes now, you wanted to cry for him, to mourn the family that he had lost and for adding yourself into the pain he was now enduring.
“Cruel?” He laughed, no humor in his words, malice was more evident. “What’s cruel is you still using my last name and airing out our dirty laundry to the men I work with instead of talking to me first.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” You shook your head, stung by his words. He was right but you weren’t going to admit it right now. A small ounce of pride still clawing its way out of you. “And you know why I still used your last name.”
It was your family. You wanted to erase was little traces of your family remained. Even in the divorce, you always had it in mind to remain a Riley. It was better than having to be the ghost of your former self all over again.
He stood now, knowing it was all he needed to know. He walked away but somehow a lingering thought had you opening your lips all over again.
“Why didn’t you fight for me, Si? Why did you sign the papers back then if you truly didn’t want to break up?”
“Because no matter how much I loved and needed you in my life, I will always choose your happiness before my own.” He answered, opening the door and leaving.
The sound of his bike echoing as you were left to mourn the closure of your relationship with the man that had meant the world to you. With all the regret finally coming full force you were left knowing that you had broken the man more than he already was and there was no turning back from it anymore.
It’s been well over a year now since you have been hired as Captain John Price’s secretary. Things were slowly but surely getting better for you and your career. Since the day you had talked with Simon, you wouldn’t say things between the two of you were getting better but you were civil with each other. You’ve interacted with him a few times, especially when it came to paper works but nothing more was said between the two of you.
Even with Price’s rule of not getting yourself involved with anyone in the team, it was becoming a mission for both Gaz and Soap to set you up with people on the base. Doctors or medics were somehow their number one target for you, but every single time, you find yourself relenting to just one date but never pushing for something more.
After knowing the truth about your ex, you didn’t have the heart to be so cruel to him more than you already were working in the base as him. Your free time away from base were spent with hobbies you had while still being married to Simon, baking and journaling, it was relief to be able to do it now with a new light was shed to the events of your marriage failing. You’ve also come to accept the offer of Kate’s wife’s therapist. It was a big help to be able to talk to someone else about everything you’ve been through.
You’ve learned to accept that you had your own mistake in the failure of your marriage just as much as Simon did. But your therapist has also come to mention that you needed to begin your own journey of healing from the what ifs of it, and live in the aftermath as painful as it was for you now.
“That dangerous?” You found yourself fearing for the worse at the conversation you were having with your boss as he explained to you the vague details of the upcoming mission him and the rest of the Task Force had for today.
With the chaos of prepping and planning, your boss was constantly on his feet and you were following him every step away for most of it to field calls and handle most of the paperworks to be sent out to sign and shipped to the higher ups. But to know a glimpse of what was happening and how your ex-husband would be involved in all of this worried you more than you would like to admit.
“It is what it is, if it meant a safer and better world, we would do it over and over again.” He explained.
“Just be careful, I still want to keep my job and I can’t if you’re dead, Boss.” You teased.
“Laswell can still be able to deal with you if I’m gone.” He retorted right back earning a quick laugh from you.
One thing that you had gotten so used to was his humor and how you had showcased your own as time went by working for the man. You appreciated him for being one of the two best bosses you had ever had in your career.
“Shouldn’t you be preparing for the mission?” You quipped right back.
“I should.” He chuckled standing right up in his full height. “Can you go check on the boys for me while I do?”
You could have refused, but a small part of you wanted to check up on Simon. Standing up, you had made your round, first stopping by Soap’s room to check up on him and notify him about the mission. Soap being the man that he was already suggesting you another man in the base beforehand.
“How about Micah? Pretty bloke that just joined the Medic team.” He began shoving the rest of his things into his duffle bag.
“Johnny, for the last time, I’m not into those pretty type you think I’m into.” You tried to indulge him in the conversation for now knowing it would ease him from the mission.
“What is your type so me and Gaz could actually find someone for you?” He pouted.
“Tall, blonde, dark and broody and with a heavy Manchester-accent.” You indulged him with description of the only man you actually loved.
“Why the fuck are you describing Ghost?” He snorts. “You got a thing for him? I thought you swore off anyone from the military?”
“Never said it was Ghost, Johnny.” You quipped right back. You hugged him and have him wrap his arms around you right back. “Be careful for me will you, I can’t live my life here in the base knowing you or Gaz aren’t here trying to set me up with anyone and everyone in the base including the married ones.”
“Hey we didn’t know Wilson was married.” He protested as he pulled away to look at you in offense.
“At this point I’ve already had dinner with half of the base, let’s keep it to a minimum when you get back. I might show you my ex so you can have an idea of what my type is.”
“Deal.” He grinned kissing you on top of the head before leaving to head to the meeting room.
You next stop was Gaz which wasn’t much of a journey with how close his room was to Soap’s. Knocking inside, you were immediately welcomed into the arms of Gaz. Unlike Soap that had been fixated with setting you up with someone in the base, Gaz was more focused on the next get together you could go to after the mission.
“I think me and Soap could convince Price to have a weekend in his vacation house in Cornwall.”
You nodded knowing it wouldn’t take much to convince Price if it meant helping the rest of the team with de-stressing and ensuring everyone has recovered mentally from the mission. But it also meant that you would be in charge of cooking knowing you and Price were the only ones that knew how to cook and you wanted your boss to actually have time to recover himself in the process.
“As long as you help me with grocery and prepping then you got a deal.” You winked pulling away from him with a smile already excited to bake them your famous apple pie they constantly beg you to make for them since the first time making it for them.
“Deal.” He grinned kissing you on the cheeks and just like Soap, finding himself heading out with his bag already at hand.
It now meant you had one last person you needed to stop by before the mission prep. You took your time somehow rehearsing what you could probably say to the man for his upcoming mission. You had your worry and you knew this was a dangerous mission.
Knocking on his door, you heard the gruff response from the other side of the door.
“Simon?” You called and immediately heard the door being unlocked.
You were faced with him wearing his skull balaclava mask. This was the side of him that you never gotten used to see but it was a part of him that you could never truly erase from him.
“What’s wrong?” He asked you allowing you to walk inside.
“Price told me to notify you about heading out for the mission.” You explained. “And I just—I just wanted to ask you to be careful on the mission.”
“Always.” He nodded.
A moment of silence has passed between the two of you before you were reminded of your therapist’s words. There was nothing wrong if you extended an olive branch to the man after everything was out in the open.
“After the mission, I would love to have you join us in Price’s cabin in Cornwall for a quick vacation too.” You added. “I know you’re busy with whatever you need to do to distress after a mission, but I would think it would be good to you if you joined. I can opts this one out if you’re more comfortable with that.”
“I’d go.” He nodded. “But I want you to join along and I want you to make me that lovely cheesecake you always make for me after I come home from deployment.”
You smiled knowing that it was always the same, a way to a man’s heart is always through his stomach.
“Anything else you want?” You asked wanting to give in to his all too simple request.
“And I want us to at least be friends, you’re part of the team now and they care for you and it wouldn’t do anyone good for us to act like we can’t stand each other.”
You nodded, heart aching a little at what he wanted. Friends. That was all he wanted and you would gladly compromise this time for him if that was what makes him truly happy.
“Friends.” You smiled, taking a hesitant step towards him for a hug but stopped mid movement as he pulled you right into his arms. The all too familiar warmth that consumed him.
“I wished things would have been different between the two of us.” He whispered kissing the top of your head. “I’d give you the world when I couldn’t give you myself fully.”
You closed your eyes wrapping your arms around his broad back.
“I wished I was strong enough for the two of us.” You whispered the tears slowly forming your eyes. “I wished I stayed a little longer for the two of us.”
“I never stopped loving you, Love. We might not be married anymore but you will be the only woman I will ever love truly with all my life and with all my soul.”
“You too, Si.” You whispered looking up at him allowing the tears to flow freely from your eyes now. “After everything that had happened between us, I will always love you.”
It was the middle of the night when you heard the familiar ringtone of your old phone. The same phone that only Simon knew the number to. You blinked away the sleep as you pulled the phone right out of the bedside table.
An unfamiliar number took you by surprise and for a moment you wanted to not answer it thinking it might be a telemarketer—but something had pushed you to press the answer button and hear whoever was on the other line.
“Hello?” You whispered clearing your throat.
“Mrs. Riley?” The familiar voice of John had you tensing. You found yourself sitting up from the bed as he began to introduce himself and why he had called.
“What happened to Simon?” You questioned checking your bedside clock to see what time it was.
It was just past midnight, three weeks since they had left for their mission and this was the first time you had gotten any contact to any one of them.
“As of right now, we are not sure if he would make it through the night. If you want we could have you someone fetch you to see him.”
You felt your world still at the news. Just when things were finally moving into the right direction between you and Simon.
“I’ll be there as soon as possible.” You assured hanging up and changing into some sweatshirt and sweatpants.
The travel to the now familiar base was a daze to you as you drove. You weren’t much of a religious person, but your lips did not stop moving as you prayed. You prayed that your husband would be alright, you bargained that you would make things right with him if it meant he would stay.
“Don’t leave me, Simon.” You whispered over and over again until you arrived to the base.
You had ignored most of the surprise that the soldier on duty had shown at your sudden appearance—the fact that you were in just your ratty clothes was also something you chose to ignore as you made a beeline to where the infirmary was.
Huddled in front of the door was your boss, John, Soap, and Gaz. Each and every single one of them injured in their own way—mostly superficial from the bandages that plastered all over their beaten faces.
“John.” You called having three heads turning to you in question. “How is he?” You questioned as the tears begin to fall from your eyes at the reality of the situation coming to crush you. “How is my husband?”
The realization washed over all of them, of the secret you and Simon had hidden from everyone. The weight was too much as you were wrapped in the arms of the family you had found yourself becoming a part of.
“Will he be alright?” You pleaded, holding onto John’s vest. “Please tell me he will be alright.” You begged falling to your knees in front of him.
“The doctors are doing their best, Love.” John reassured kneeling in front of you, wrapping you into his arms as you continued to sob. “But Simon took most of the impact from the explosion.”
The reality scared you so much. You tried you best to remember the last interaction you had with Simon, the hug, the promise of a new beginning, and everything else in between. It all came crashing down to this very point.
There was a very big chance that you will finally lose Simon and it scared you so much more than anything in this world. You couldn’t lose him, not like this, not when there was so much left between the two of you to make up for.
“He can’t leave me, John.” You whimpered. “He promised me he wouldn’t leave me like this.” You screamed at the top of your lungs.
You were made aware of the vows you had made to each other when you got married at the court house. Of how he had promised to the best of his abilities that he wouldn’t die in the line of duty before he could have the chance to retire. He promised you a family, he promised you the world, and he promised you your happiness. He was your family, he was your world, and he was your happiness that you realize only when it was too late.
For the next few weeks, the world around you had become blur. You were now much of a permanent fixture of the Taskforce’s base. Morning and the afternoon was spent still working for Price, especially with the piling number of paperworks the mission had caused and your nights were spent in the infirmary, watching over Simon that has yet to awake from his slumber.
When the doctors had given you the green light that you can see him—it took you hours before you did. Even after John, Soap, and Gaz had finished with their own visit, it took so much of what little strength you had to finally see him in his state.
Broken bones, laceration, head trauma, blood loss and amongst the other injuries that the doctors has informed you should have killed him but he was still alive even in his current state. He still had fight in him, he was still fighting to keep alive.
“I’ve come to realize that post-mission Price was a whole different breed of a grump, more than he usually is.” You began talking to your still unconscious ex.
The doctor had told you about him being able to hear your voice and you took the opportunity to talk his ear off with him unable to give his usual sarcastic comments or grunts as response. There were days you told him about your day at work, days where you told him about what you had been doing since you left your home and tried and failed to move on from him, and there were days where you apologized to him, regretting the divorce and everything else that been the reason for the demise of your marriage.
“I think since the divorce I’ve realized a lot of shit about us.” You sighed leaning against the uncomfortable plastic chair. “If you wake up, I’ll try to do my best to convince you to take me back.” You mused arms crossed against your chest. “I know you don’t have as much of a happy memory after what happened to your family, but when you wake up, I want to make sure we make as much happy memories as we could together, I want you to tell me about what your Ma was like, what kind of brother Tommy was like, and how adorable Joseph was, I want all of that and more with you.”
You wiped away the tears that have yet to fall, you didn’t want to cry. You thought that you didn’t have any more tears to shed. The gravity of almost losing Simon was the wakeup call you needed and now it was nothing more than a waiting game until he wakes up.
“I fucking can’t be your friend, Si.” You admit. “I can’t be happy with just being your friend. I want you to be my husband again, Si. After almost losing you I know I can’t live knowing we haven’t fixed our relationship. I’ll do anything and everything to make it up to you, all the pain and hurt I’ve caused you.”
“Anything?”
You almost jumped from where you sat at the sight of the man whose eyes were now focused on you.
“Simon?”
“Am I just high or did you say what you did?”
“What?”
“That you would make up for everything?” He muttered groggily.
“I did.” You nodded blinking in disbelief that he was here, awake. Alive.
“Then marry me. Let me make it right this time, Love. I promise I’ll make it work, I’ll do my best to make you happy the way that you deserve.”
“Yes.” You answered almost immediately, finding yourself giggling about how ridiculous his second proposal was with his current state—but you didn’t want it any other way.
He requested for you to take his dog tag around his neck off and only then did you notice that your wedding ring enclosed around his necklace. Even with the years that passed, he still had it with him. The very same ring you two had brought together before you had headed to the courthouse for your marriage.
“Can I add another stipulation?” He held onto your free hand.
“Anything.” You smiled rubbing your hand against the callousness of his hand. “Anything to make it work, Si.”
“No more blind dates from the Sergeants.”
“They could never hold a candle to you, Simon.” You giggled leaning in for a kiss, the weight that rested on your shoulders slowly easing away.
You were home, you were back in the arms of Simon after all was said and done.
#cod mw2#simon riley x reader#ghost mw2#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon riley fanfic#fem reader#simon riley mw2#simon riley x female reader#cod fic#mw2 fic#mw2 x you#mw2 x reader#ghost riley#simon riley fluff#simon riley angst#simon riley fanfiction#call of duty
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Holy Ground - Chapter 5
Summary:
Nobody knew that Azriel found his mate. Until she nearly died. This is the aftermath.
Warning:
Rhys Bashing (as usual), Inner Circle Bashing (kinda), Referenced/Implied Sexual Assault, Referenced/Implied Domestic Violence, Discussion of Religion(?), Chronic Injury/Pain/Illness, Minor Character Death (It's probably nobody you love), Magical Work Accidents, Explosions, Injuries
If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.
“You want to talk about it?” Her mate asked her flatly and Mor couldn’t help but grimace.
"No," Mor said simply, her tone clipped. She had been hoping to avoid this conversation, but it seemed as though Emerie was not willing to let her off that easily. "There's nothing to talk about."
Her mate just snorted. “Yeah, absolutely nothing,” she said sarcastically. “How about the fact that the male that spend 500 years being in love with you, met his mate 2 years ago and hasn’t said a single thing about it to any member of his family?”
"What do you want me to say, Em?" she asked with a sigh.
At the start…before Nesta had forced her to actually confront what she was feeling…Before she actually thought about the fact, that no…it wasn’t actually funny for Azriel to keep their mate from them…and it also wasn’t normal for him. Of course, Azriel liked his privacy, it was something that he fiercely guarded, but he was also…he wouldn’t have actually hidden away his mate from his family. He would have introduced her, would have invited her to birthdays and Winter Solstice and Starfall…
But he hadn’t.
He had rather hidden away every trace of that relationship than actually talk to any of them about it.
“Nesta told me that she laid into you,” Emerie said with a shrug. “You did use Azriel, you know that, Mor.”
Mor's expression hardened at Emerie's words.
Emerie was right. She had used him.
Of course, at the time…she had been desperate, afraid of the feelings that she had been having…willing to hide them… but the way she had gone about it hadn’t been…It hadn’t been fair.
She just didn’t like to reflect on that.
"It doesn't matter now, Em," she said flatly. "It's in the past."
“Is it?” Emerie asked, sharply. “You never tried to actually talk to Azriel about it. You just expected him to be alright with it. Alright with us,” she continued. “He has never once been anything but polite to me, but quite frankly he would have had every right to be pissed off.”
Mor just so managed not to grimace.
Not a single word. Not a single gesture. Nothing but politeness and kindness had come from Azriel after her and Emerie’s mating bond had snapped. Nothing.
"You don't think I know that? You don't think I'm racked with guilt every damn day?" she asked her mate, turning away from from Emerie, running a hand through her hair in frustration. "I know that I hurt him, Em. I know that I used him. But what do you want me to do about it now? It's in the past, it's done. I can't change it."
Emerie was silent for a moment, her expression softening slightly. "You can apologize," she said softly. "You can try to mend what you broke. And maybe, just maybe, he'll forgive you."
Mor let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. "Apologize? For what?" she asked, her voice dripping with self-mockery. "For using him? For making him think he had a chance with me when he never did? For breaking his heart when I knew damn well how he felt about me?"
Emerie's expression hardened again. "Yes," she said firmly. "For all of those things. Because at the end of the day, Mor, you used him. And he deserves better than that."
Mor's shoulders slumped, the fight leaving her all at once. She knew that Emerie was right. She knew that she had been selfish, that she had hurt Azriel in a way that could never be undone. But the thought of facing him, of admitting her mistakes and opening herself up to the pain and rejection that surely awaited her…it was terrifying.
“I imagine he had a few very good reasons to keep Irena a secret from all of us,” Emerie said softly. “Regardless of what feelings he once harboured for you…he was always your friend, Mor. And he kept his mate a secret from you.”
Mor sighed, her shoulders slumped. "I know," she said softly. "I know. I thought it was jsut Az being Az but it’s not, is it?”
Emerie reached out, placing a gentle hand on Mor's arm. "No," she said softly. "It's not. It's him protecting something that he loves. And I don't blame him for that."
***
“Are you hungry?” Azriel asked his mate softly.
Madja had checked on her the evening before…had told her to keep off her leg for a few days and plied her with more potions, bandages the bruises again… given her more sleeping draught. It hasn’t stopped Irena from waking up twice with nightmares.
"No," Irena said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. "I don't have much of an appetite." She looked pale, her eyes dull and lacking their usual sparkle. It was clear that she hadn't slept well, and his heart ached at the sight of her discomfort.
Shock had dissipated and left his mate…grieving and sad and Azriel curled himself tighter around her.
He could feel the weight of her sadness and grief, and it broke his heart to see her this way. He wrapped his arms tighter around her, holding her close and hoping to offer some comfort and support.
“You need to eat something, love,” he insisted softly. “Whatever you want.”
He really didn’t care if all she had in her stomach were her favourite cookies, at least that would be something.
Irena shook her head, burying her face in his chest. "I don't want anything," she said, her voice muffled against his shirt. "Just...just stay here with me."
Azriel's heart tugged at her words, and he pulled her even closer, cradling her against him. "Of course," he whispered, his lips brushing the top of her head. "I'm not going anywhere, love,” he promised her fiercely. “But you still need to eat something,” he whispered. “How about the shadows get you one of those blueberry pastries you like?”
Irena sighed, snuggling deeper into his embrace. "Alright," she said softly. "I do love those pastries." She looked up at him, her eyes still dull but a small hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
He didn’t even need to order the shadows to do anything, they had one of her favourite blueberry pastries on a plate on the bed side table in a breath. *Please tell me you left the money,* he told them mentally.
The shadows seemed almost indignant. *Of course we left it. Do you think we're thieves?* Azriel smiled at their tone."
"Of course not," he said aloud, reaching for the pastry and offering it to Irena. "You're just very efficient." The shadows swirled around him almost smugly at the praise, and he shook his head with a chuckle.
“Thank you,” Irena thanked them softly. The shadows preened.
Azriel chuckled again, watching as the shadows swirled around Irena, as if basking in her gratitude. It was cute how they seemed almost puppy-like in their desire for her attention.
He was amazed, as always, by how much the shadows adored her.
He had never expected them to warm up to anyone else, especially not as quickly as they had to his mate.
Suddenly…as soon as he had properly introduced his shadows to her…as soon as it was clear that she wasn’t going to start flinching away from them or from him if they showed up to badger her…as soon as that was clear, they had started to dote on her. Seemingly so pleased that there was another person that wasn’t scared off them.
The shadows and Irena had formed a bond that defied explanation, and it made Azriel so happy to see the two things he cherished most in the world getting along so well.
(Even if he sometimes got jealous that the shadows never had doted on him like they did on Irena. He got porridge for breakfast but Irena got the ridiculous expensive pastries from the newest high end bakery. Irena got bubble bath, while he only got salt dumped into his bath water and got told that it was good for his muscles.)
He watched as the shadows swirled around Irena, nuzzling against her like cats seeking affection. Irena laughed softly as they tickled at her ears and played with her hair.
He knew that his shadows were often feared and misunderstood, but with Irena they were playful and affectionate. It was like she had unlocked a whole new side of them, and he couldn't help but smile at the sight of them interacting so sweetly with her.
He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her temple. "I never thought I'd see the day when my shadows would be so smitten," he teased, his lips curving into a small smile. "I should be jealous, but I can't help but find it adorable."
Irena laughed, her eyes sparkling for the first time that day. "They're so sweet," she said, reaching up to brush her fingers through the shadows that surrounded her. "It's like they're a different side of you."
Azriel chuckled, his gaze softening as he looked at her. "I guess they are a part of me, in a way," he said. "And they seem to have a mind of their own, especially when it comes to you." He watched as the shadows nuzzled against her cheek, almost vying for her attention.
"They're quite taken with you," he said with a grin. "I don't blame them. Still, it's strange to see them so affectionate towards someone else." He reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair away from her face.
"But it makes me happy to see them like this," he said softly, his fingers lingering against her cheek. "It's like you're bringing out a side of them that I never knew existed. And it's a beautiful thing to witness." He leaned in, pressing another soft kiss to her forehead. "Just like you."
There was a knock at the door.
*The High Lord and the Ancient One,* the shadows offered. *And the healer.*
*I’ll deal with them,* Azriel said with a snort.
“Finish your breakfast, alright?“ he told Irena softly as he slid out of the bed. Irena nodded, a small smile on her face.
"Thank you," she said softly, watching as he got up to answer the door.
“Madja,” he greeted the healer drily. “Irena just had breakfast. The bruises are already lightening,” he reported.
Madja nodded, her expression softening slightly. "Good," she said. "Keep an eye on her for the next couple of days, make sure she takes it easy. The leg needs to heal properly." He opened the door further, letting Madja slip in, and could just hear, "How are you feeling, my dear?" From Madja and Irena’s soft answer.
Which meant that Azriel turned towards his brother. “What do you want?” He demanded from Rhys, his voice sharp.
Rhys held his hands up in surrender. "Calm down, Az," he said, his voice low. "I just wanted to check on Irena. Amren looked at the spellbook that Merrill was using,” Rhys explained.
“And?” Azriel asked flatly.
Did it actually matter? Merrill had been stupid and arrogant and a thousand other things. The spell didn’t seem to have done anything to Irena…her injuries had been thanks to the debris that had resulted in the spell going absolutely haywire, killing Merrill and seemingly exploding her office.
“It was written in a language I do not know, but the best match is ancient Illyrian,” Amren gave back drily.
Azriel's expression darkened at Amren's words. "Ancient Illyrian?" he repeated, his mind racing. "That can't be good."
Not at all. He didn’t even want to think about what his ancestors had come up with.
"It seems to be a very old dialect," Rhys explained. "One that hasn't been spoken or written in centuries. It'll take some time to decipher it, but we're working on…”
“It seems to be a healing spell. Probably used in childbirth,” Amren cut him off. “When it didn’t find a pregnant female to latch onto, it redoubled back onto Merrill.”
"So Merrill's own spell backfired on her," Azriel mused. "And Irena got caught in the crossfire." He rubbed a hand over his face. “Has the spell done anything to Irena?” He demanded.
“Madja didn’t think so,” Rhys said carefully. “I wanted to check on Irena if that’s alright with you.”
He crossed his arms, not willing to entertain that even for a moment.
“No,” he said flatly.
“Let him in, Azriel,” his mate said softly, and he turned towards her, staring at Irena.
The shadows were already dragging a fur around her shoulders, fluffing the pillows behind her, as Madja bandaged her leg.
Irena met his gaze, raising an eyebrow at him.
He didn’t want Rhys anywhere near her, Azriel was certain of that. And still…an still…
“Fine,” Azriel growled, stepping aside to let Rhys through. "Don't overstay your welcome," he warned Rhys.
Rhys nodded, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips at Azriel's protectiveness. He clapped a hand on Azriel's shoulder reassuringly. "I won't stay long," he reassured his brother. "I just want to make sure she's alright."
Amren rolled her eyes, but for once didn’t say another word as Azriel closed the door.
“High Lord,” Irena greeted Rhys, every inch the perfect lady even while she was laid up in her bed.
Rhys inclined his head, smiling gently at Irena, while Azriel already crossed the room to sit at her bedside, taking her hand in both of his. She reassuringly squeezed it.
"How are you feeling?" Rhys asked her.
Irena gave him a small smile, shrugging her shoulders a little. "I've been better," she admitted. "But I'm healing, I suppose." She gestured to the leg, Madja was bandaging once again. "Madja says I'll be good as new in a few days. And I’ve had worse,” she added flatly.
Rhys chuckled softly, his eyes softening with concern. "I don't doubt it," he said. "But still, it must have been quite a harrowing experience." He paused for a moment, looking at her intently. "I wanted to speak to you about what happened," he said gently. "If you feel up to it, of course."
Irena nodded, steeling herself for whatever questions Rhys might have. "Go ahead," she said quietly.
"I just wanted to ask you about what you saw when the spell hit you," Rhys said carefully. "Do you remember anything after the initial blast? Could you show me?”
“No.” Azriel snapped. “You are not going read her mind, Rhysand.” Not in a million years.
He nearly bared his teeth at his High Lord in annoyance, already regretting letting him into their room.
Irena was healing.
Rhys held up his hands in surrender, his eyes flickering to Azriel for a moment. "I wasn't going to do anything without her permission, brother," he assured him calmly.
“It’s alright,” Irena agreed with him. “It’s fine, Azriel,” she assured him softly. Azriel tensed for a moment, torn between wanting to protect her and respecting her wishes. "I want to do this." She turned her attention back to Rhys. "Go ahead."
Rhys nodded, his expression serious. "Are you sure?" he asked, his voice low. "It might be difficult to recall the memories, but I need you to try."
Irena just inclined her head. "I'm sure," she said firmly. "Just...just go ahead."
Azriel watched, holding her hand tightly. Rhys was well trained at using his daemati abilities, but that didn’t mean that…
A moment later a soft shudder run through his mate, and Azriel growled.
“Thank you, Irena,” Rhys said quickly, clearly already withdrawing from her mind.
“What kind of spell was it?” Itena asked her voice hoarse.
Rhys sighed, "The spellbook was written in some kin of ancient language, we think some dialect of Illyrian. The spell itself was healing spell, probably used for childbirth," he explained. "The magic was searching for a pregnant female to latch onto, but when it couldn’t find one, it became more volatile," he said, his expression grave. "And that's when it found you, Irena. It was a complete accident, but the effects were still devastating."
“Did it do…anything to me?” Irena asked Madja quietly.
Madja looked up from the bandages she was applying to Irena's leg, her expression softening as she took in Irena's worried expression.
Madja studied her for a moment, her eyes flickering over the various scrapes and bruises on Irena's body. "Not as far as I can tell,” Madja said finally. "You're healing nicely, and there are no lasting effects to your body that I can see.”
It was something. It was reassuring to know that her physical injuries were being healed, and that there were no lasting effects.
Azriel squeezed Irena's hand, relief flooding through him at Madja's words.
It was good. Some form of healing being found…
And the last thing Azriel had expected, where Irena’s next words, as she addressed Rhysand.
“I’ll hand over my duties to Madja, as soon as I can,” Irena said softly. “I am aware that after what happened I am no longer suitable to make any more research involved decisions. I take full responsibility for what happened.“
Her voice was even, measured. Calm.
Even when he could see the storm in her eyes…even when he could see…
She loved her job. He knew that she loved her job. She adored it in fact. And she excelled in it too. Irena seeme to be made for her job in the House of Wind. And to hear her contemplating giving it all up, just because of an accident that hadn’t been her fault at all…
Azriel opened his mouth to protest but Rhys spoke before he could say anything. "That won't be necessary," Rhys said firmly. "Irena, what happened was a complete accident. You had no control over what happened, and we all know that." He shook his head, his expression serious. "You can't blame yourself for what happened."
Rhys leaned forward slightly, his gaze intent on Irena. "If anyone is to blame, it's Merrill," he said softly. "She was the one who was messing with magic beyond her understanding, she didn’t follow your orders and she was the one who unleashed that spell. You were just an innocent bystander in all of this."
He paused, looking between Azriel and Irena, his expression softening. "We will need to take precautions going forward, so nothing like that can ever happen again." he said carefully. "But we can figure that out together. And you do not need to give up your duties, Irena. We need you."
Irena looked down at the blankets in her lap, her fingers fiddling with a loose thread. "But what if something like this does happen again?" she asked softly.
Rhys shook his head, his expression firm. "It won't," he said, his voice filled with conviction. “None of what happened was your fault,” Rhys repeated firmly.
Azriel nodded in agreement, his grip on Irena's hand tightening. "He's right," he said gruffly. "You didn't do anything wrong. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, love. This is on Merrill, not on you. "
“And you can’t quit because otherwise we’ll all drown under paperwork. Well, more than we already do,” Rhys said with a sigh.
Irena chuckled softly, a small smile pulling at the corners of her lips. "Well, I suppose I can't let that happen," she said wryly. "I can’t let the high Lord deal with even more paperwork, can I?“ she said drily.
Rhys moved to stand but then he suddenly froze. “You have been doing this on purpose,” he suddenly said, staring at her.
“Doing what?” Irena asked, cocking the head to the side. “Make sure that the library generates plenty of paperwork that needs the High Lord’s personal attention?”Rhys stared at her for a moment, his expression a mixture of surprise and awe.
"You really are quite devious, aren’t you?" he said with a small laugh. "I never would have thought you’d be using your job specifically to ensure that I spend even more time doing paperwork."
“I don’t.” Irena said flatly. “It was petty revenge.”
Rhys chuckled, shaking his head. "Petty revenge?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow. "What on earth did I do to deserve such punishment?"
Irena just stared at him for a moment. “Maybe you should think a bout how you have been treating my mate.”
What?
Azriel had had no clue that…
Azriel hadn’t known about that. Hadn’t had the faintest inkling.
Irena had been making sure that Rhys had more paperwork to go through?!
Rhys looked at him for a moment before sighing, rubbing a hand over his face. "I suppose I deserved that one," he admitted.
Azriel just grunted, his expression flat. "You deserved a lot more than that," he muttered. But there was no real anger in his voice. He was too tired for anger at Rhys. All he cared about right now was Irena.
“You really are a perfect match,” Rhys said with some amusement. “And I do owe Azriel an apology,” he said simply. "I’ve been harsh on you, Azriel. And I haven’t been fair. I’ve been treating you like a tool, instead of like a brother, and I owe you an apology for that.”
Azriel was taken aback by Rhys's words. He had grown used to the way Rhys treated him - as a weapon first, and a brother second. Hearing Rhys acknowledge his mistakes was…certainly unexpected, and it left him feeling a little off-balance.
He paused for a moment, his mind racing as he tried to figure out how to respond. Finally he looked up at Rhys, his expression serious. "Thank you," he said quietly. "I appreciate the apology."
Rhys nodded, his expression sincere. "I mean it," he said quietly. "I'll do better moving forward."
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| 𝒮𝑒𝓁𝒻𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒 | Chapter Two
Mafia!Ot8!Ateez x female!reader
Summary: After losing everything through gambling, your father's debts to the Ateez Mafia have resulted in you becoming their property. With no other family left, you are now at the mercy of these dangerous criminals due to your father's reckless actions.
Warnings: mxm relationship, death, murder, mentions of being burned at the stake, tragic backstory, violence.
WC: 2k
Amazing Help: @potatomountain
AU: Mafia/?
Nets: @othersideoutlawsnetwork
Tags: Tags: @xomakara @jedi-dreea @beabatiny @ateezaddict24 @spenceatiny18 @18fernanda @prodsh00ky @evercodeee @yizhou-time @smally97 @eshia-16 @daniela-f-uwu @peachyy-joonie @butterfliesinthenightsky @dassmyname @unlikelysublimekryptonite @dollinno @stay-tiny-things @joongscheese @misskarynie @monstacheol @yeosangcutie0615 @mariaa @pinuspot @amphiroxx @kitten4sannie tags to be continued.
A/N: This series isn’t what you thought it’d be huh? Hehehe
Taglist Link
500 years ago, Kim Hongjoong stumbled upon a dirty and old shrine. Bruised, bloody, and broken.
He begged the silent deity for help, tears cascading down his nearly broken jaw. A miracle he could still talk. His broken fingers dropped all of the coins he had to offer onto the shrine. He continued to beg for help and prayed to the God but he got no answer.
His body could no longer sustain his energy and he collapsed onto the wet ground. Hongjoong knew this was the end and he didn’t want to die like this.
Hongjoong let out one more scream before the light faded and he passed out from his injuries. No longer able to stay present.
To die for loving the wrong person. He would never change it, even if this was his death.
The deity appeared out of thin air and stared down at the almost corpse on his sacred ground. He couldn’t help but shake his head.
“Humans and their violence. Wake up, boy. I will not have you die on my holy shrine.” The deity pressed two fingers to Hongjoong’s head and he awoke with a gasp for air.
“You..Thank you.” Hongjoong tried to sit up but his ribs and other miscellaneous injuries screamed at him to stop. How he is still alive is baffling. The deity thought of him as a fighter for surviving this long with the extent of his injuries.
“Why have you come to my shrine, why do you seek my help, human?”
“Because I don’t want to die. I need to live for Seonghwa, but his family won’t let me see him anymore. They’re the reason I’m like this. They tried to kill me but I got away.” Hongjoong was able to sit up with the help of the deity, who only frowned at his words.
“Love? That’s a strong reason to fight for your life.” He admired that. A lot. He missed his love life.
“Do you want revenge, human?”
“What? I- I..yes. I do. I shouldn’t be tortured or killed for loving another man.” Hongjoong truly loves Park Seonghwa of the noble Park family. He hated Seonghwa’s face and screams when he was getting the shit beaten from him.
Hongjoong hated the Park family for trying to kill him in front of his lover. He wanted them dead. He wanted to steal away Hwa and live in the mountains away from the rest of this cruel humanity.
“Very well. I can feel your anger, human. I will grant you your revenge but it comes at a cost.” The deity crossed his arms before speaking once again, “You must take my powers and my status. You will be a God instead. Only then I’ll finally be free of this torture of living forever.”
Hongjoong was confused, “Wait, you’re willing just to give up everything? For me?”
“Believe it or not, I was once in love just like you. I was born a God, they were born a human. It was agony watching them die and I’m ready to be with them. But you must take it from me.” The deity held out his hand, a glow emitting from it. It was so inviting.
Hongjoong furrowed his eyebrows before quickly grasping the deity's hand. A scream emitted from their longs as the power was transferred to Hongjoong.
Nothing else was said as the deity faded into nothing but dust.
Hongjoong could feel the power coursing within him. Each wound and broken bone was immediately healed and he felt a strange sense of longing. He knew it was for his lover down in the village. He could only hope he was still alive and not locked up in a cell by his family. Or worse, being forced to marry someone very fast.
Hongjoong didn’t care. He was going to kill them alone and take Seonghwa away with him.
One quick flash and he was standing in front of the Park residence. The guards screamed at him and ran towards him to finish the job they tried to do earlier. They failed and were flung to opposite sides. Hongjoong made them disappear as if they never existed and marched his way in, blasting the doors open with just an open palm.
Screams were heard from inside. Good. They should be scared.
“You! How are you still alive!” It was Seonghwa’s father. No matter, he was swiped against a wall with a flick of a wrist.
“Peasant.” Hongjoong spat at the man’s now broken body.
Seonghwa’s mother screamed in absolute horror, “Geo-“ Dead. Hongjoong broke her spine with yet another gesture.
Seonghwa’s older brother ran out to be by his dead parents and to fight Hongjoong. It was pointless. Hongjoong killed him too. Nothing was going to stop him from finding his lover.
“Seonghwa?” Hongjoong called out as he stepped over multiple corpses. He ripped his bloodied hanbok and threw the pieces to the ground, they were pointless.
He couldn’t find Seonghwa anywhere. Fuck. They must’ve locked him up. That angered him much further. Hongjoong left the residence ablaze once he stepped out of the threshold. Villagers who saw the massacre stayed out of Hongjoong’s way. Now terrified of the man.
A good choice.
The new deity made his way to the village's cells. Once he gets his man, this whole town will be gone. He wasn’t going to leave anyone alive. Not after they all sat around and let Hongjoong and Seonghwa be separated.
With the cells in site, the guards were slaughtered and he burst open the gates, each criminal ran out of their cells in fear but Seonghwa remained. He knew his lover came back for him. He didn’t care how.
Seonghwa was just happy Hongjoong was alive.
“Hongjoong!” The noble ran out of his cell and into Hongjoong’s arms, “How are you alive?”
His lover only laughed, “I’ll tell you later, for now we must leave this place. We don’t belong here.” Hongjoong kissed Seonghwa with such fever that he refused to separate for several moments.
They left the village hand in hand. Hongjoong didn’t even bother to look back when he set everything ablaze, leaving nothing to save itself. He got his revenge and much more. Nothing was going to separate them ever again. Ever.
-
Kim Hongjoong and Park Seonghwa, both now immortals, faced the earth and its challenges together. They hid in the mountains away from the humans to maintain their happiness and peace. Hongjoong had gave Seonghwa powers to protect himself. Powers that matched their invisible tie to each other. He honed abilities from the planet. Elemental.
Seonghwa maintained a garden that he took care of with his new powers. The animals in the forest kept him company when Hongjoong had to leave to Deity Overworld, now that he’s a god.
One day, Seonghwa heard a blood curdling scream and chanting coming down the mountain. Hongjoong was gone so that couldn’t be him.
Seonghwa set down the white rabbit in his lap and marched down the hill, carefully treading.
Once he made it past the clearing, he found a big man strung up to a post, men and women surrounding it with torches. Seonghwa knew what it was immediately. A witch trial.
Humans are so cruel to anything different.
Just as they were about to light him aflame, Seonghwa cleared his throat, “I suggest you let him down or there will be consequences. I don’t take innocent bloodshed lightly.”
The people whipped their heads toward the newfound voice, “Excuse me? How dare you threaten us. Are you a witch too?” A man poked Seonghwa’s chest with a pitchfork.
He didn’t like that. Without moving, the ground swallows the man whole, “Anyone want to go next?”
The humans screamed in fear and ran away, not wanting to die.
The man on the post had been crying, thankful to be saved. Why did he have to be scorned for practicing a non harmful craft?
“It’s okay, I’ve got you now.” Seonghwa cut the ropes that held the man high, “Careful.” He caught him as he fell, “What’s your name? I’m Seonghwa.” A beautiful smile stretched his cheeks as he kept the man warm.
“Yunho. Jeong Yunho. Thank you for saving me. I’m forever in your debt.” Yunho’s large hands grasped Seonghwa’s in desperation, “I don’t know how to even begin to thank you.”
Seonghwa shook his head, “You don’t need to. What the humans are doing is harmful. You don’t deserve to die, Yunho. Come with me. I’ve got somewhere to keep you safe.”
-
“Um, Seonghwa, who is this?” Hongjoong appeared from a mist into the living room, confusion smeared on his features.
Yunho jumped, nearly screaming in his spot, still jumpy from earlier.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Seonghwa was quick to comfort the big man, “This is Yunho, he was about to be burned at the stake for witchcraft..I just couldn’t let that happen.”
Hongjoong melted at his words. One of the many reasons he fell for Seonghwa. His selflessness and care for others beside himself.
“I see, well, make sure he has somewhere to stay warm and rest. I’m sure it was stressful.” Hongjoong smiled and walked to his bedroom, exhausted from traveling between worlds.
Yunho smiled to himself and held the blanket close to his body, “You two are very kind. Thank you for the hospitality.”
“So, tell me, Yunho. Do you have anyone?” Seonghwa carefully sat beside Yunho, caution on his features.
“Ah, no. I don’t. It’s just me. I suppose that’s why it was so easy for me to be found by those villagers.” He could never return to his home. Not if he wanted to live.
“Well, I have a proposition for you then, Mr. Yunho, how would you like to live forever without having to worry about being burned alive?” Seonghwa offered with such nonchalance.
Yunho was in shock. What was he saying?
“Huh?”
“Look, Hongjoong and I are immortal. Hongjoong is a god and he gave me immortality to be with him forever. I want to give you that now. I know you could use it for the good in your heart.” The former noble was serious in every sense, “Of course, I’d have to talk to Hongjoong but I want to give you that offer.”
“I just thought you were also a witch honestly.” Yunho laughed.
“Well, no, but still.” Seonghwa stood back up, “I’ll let you think about it but I’m going to go speak to Hongjoong about this.”
-
“You’re an immortal now, how do you feel, Yunho?” Seonghwa grinned, Hongjoong’s arm around his waist.
The new immortal couldn’t help but cry as fire emitted from his palms, “I..I’m so happy.” Of course the fire was a bonus. Now he could make everyone pay that tried to burn him alive.
“Be careful with that ability, Yunho, I know what you’re thinking. I can hear everything. If you do not tread my warnings carefully, I can take it all from you without breaking a sweat. So don’t test me.” Hongjoong was stern but he knew Yunho wouldn’t break his trust. It was like he had a golden retriever that followed his every demand and order.
After all, this was just the beginning of a big tale to come.
“I will, thank you, Hongjoong.”
The three men would continue to live in harmony for decades. In peace and tranquillity. They never had to worry about another human trying to kill them and Hongjoong helped Yunho and Seonghwa hone their abilities. He was going to shape them into beasts. A small army if you will.
Nothing was going to stop him from being who he was meant to be.
They lived their lives on a pirate ship that sailed the ocean, that Hongjoong had stolen, becoming the new feared pirate crew for years to come.
He had to grow this team and he had to use the abilities he was given.
Yunho made them a fourth member. A living doll but with a human body. His name is Kang Yeosang and he’s another immortal. His abilities are unknown as he’s still getting accustomed to being a living doll. Made from dark magic.
Again, this was only the beginning for this forming team.
They’re only going to get stronger.
#ateez x reader#ateez smut#x reader#hongjoong smut#san x reader#yunho x reader#jongho x reader#hongjoong x reader#seonghwa x reader#mingi x reader#selfish love ateez
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40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS CHAPTER SIX
thought i’d be lying if i said ‘i didn’t want you to myself.’ when you look me in my eyes and, tell me that it’s mine, i…
pairing wnba!paige bueckers x singer!oc
taglist @thaatdigitaldiary @ohbueckers @xxloveralways14 @patscorner @wbbgetsmewetter @rosemariiaa @tndaqlifwy @makethemhoesmad @authentic-girl03
warnings infidelity, some sexual content
kalena speakss 🪽! this is easily my favorite chapter so far (for reasons that will become obvious towards the end) don’t expect another back to back update bc it’s not happening 😭 maybe thursday or friday at the earliest, i still have priorities!
June 2025 — Crypto.com Arena, Los Angeles, California
“Paige, your shot wasn’t falling tonight like we are used to seeing from you. What was different tonight for you than either nights?”
It’s this that I’m not quite yet used to. The post lost pressers. It was different in college, where the team had way more wins for every one loss, but right now we’re at .500 and each time a loss follows a win and they ask me the same variation of the same question I get irritated.
But I’m media trained, which means I just answer the question no matter how dumb I feel it is. The real answer is that I played like shit tonight, forcing shots and getting into my head. Instead, I’m forced to say:
“We’re playing a team that has the reigning defensive player of the year and was just in the finals. It was gonna be a dog fight, for us to get settled against a defense like that, and they simply out performed us.” I look down at the stat sheet in front of me, I had 5 turnovers to my 4 assists, and I fucking hate turning the ball over.
“Kayla McBride is a dog, she guarded me well tonight, forced me into some bad shots and got a few turnovers from me. But I gotta take all that and learn from it, it’s still too early in the season to stress out over things that are fixable.”
I'm the only one sitting at the podium tonight, Rickea and Dearica doing theirs together and Zia who had just gone before me. I knew what the gist of the questions would be, turnovers, defense, and the most gruesome: injuries.
“We saw you roll your ankle pretty bad tonight. Even though you finished the game, can you tell us a bit about the seriousness of it?” It’s a different reporter now, one that I recognize from our win the other night.
I shake my head. My ankle was fine up until he just mentioned it. Now, it stung bad. I had some extra tape around it, it was only sore, while I was sitting but walking and running full speed on the court made that shit hurt like no other.
“It’s not serious.” I reply honestly. “We got two days off before the next game at home so I’m not worried. I’m gonna treat it like any other tweak and just follow what the trainers got for me, and hopefully we have a better night against Minnesota on Friday.”
It seems like that is a sufficient answer for the rest of the reporters in the room when I hear that wonderful “no more questions.” I stand up gingerly from my seat. They don’t miss my slight limp, but after a few steps the pain shakes off and it just feels uncomfortable.
When I get back to the locker room it’s damn near empty except for Cameron and Rae. I give them both curt nods before heading over to my locker.
They don’t speak to me, which I’m silently grateful for because I might snap at them unintentionally. Losing is one thing, playing like dog shit is another, but my ankle really put the nail in the coffin.
I attempt to clean up my locker a bit, making life a little bit easier for the ladies who’re gonna come in and clean up when we leave. I throw my jersey and shorts in the growing pile of towels and warm ups and all other gear before reaching for my phone in the bag.
just saw the injury on tv, pray it’s not too bad ❤️🩹
That’s the second most recent text in my phone, from about an hour ago from Maraye. It just briefly brings a smile to my face that I can’t even fight. It’s crazy to me that even when I’m at my grumpiest she finds a way to make me forget about it all.
I scroll through the rest of my notifications before tapping on her contact. I see that she texted me multiple times tonight throughout different parts of the game.
don’t fuck up my parlay tonight. jk good luck fav! 7:09pm
OKAY BLOCKKK GET UP THEN 7:20pm
omg the cross over??? don’t do her like that p 😮💨 8:03pm
I laugh fights through my lips, she told me in Atlanta she would start live texting me during games, I didn’t think she was serious. Nevertheless, I find it adorable. Maraye, throughout the busyness that is her schedule, turned on my game and watched the whole thing, keeping me posted on all her thoughts throughout the night.
I’m so beyond saving.
My thumb scrolls back down to the bottom of the thread. I can’t deny the way my heartbeat quickens in my chest at the choice of heart emoji. It’s not quite a red heart, but it’s enough to let me know she cares. I can’t believe that I’m sitting here like I’m in high school again, psycho analyzing her texts and gushing over them until my face is red.
“You headin’ out?” I look up and Cam is getting ready to leave. She’s going to be fully cleared to play this week, probably not playing with us until right before All-star. I’m excited for her, and I can tell that she is too because it’s practically beaming off of her.
I nod. “Yeah, inna minute. I’ll catch you in the morning.” Cameron takes that answer and walks out alongside Rae. I grab my back shortly after them, getting up and leaving the locker room. The arena is quiet, so is the parking garage as I make my way out there. The chirp of my car alerts me to it. I drop my bag in the trunk before sitting down in my seat.
The cushion practically eats me alive, I haven’t been this physically exhausted in months.
Then I’m reminded that Maraye and I’d thread is still open on my phone. When I glance at the time I realize it’s not that late, I know that if I go home, I’ll just fall into the rabbit hole of watching film all night.
Instead I reach for the phone heavy in my sweatpants pocket. My thumbs begin typing away before sending Maraye a text back.
Nah it’s not all that bad
You busy? Or can I slide?
I make sure my phone is connected to the speakers. When He’s Not There by Kehlani plays through the car while I get settled. Following that, I place my phone on its spot on the center console. It isn’t until Maraye’s name flashes on my carplay screen that I finally pull out of the parking garage.
yes please, come see meee
—
Paige sits comfortably to my left on my couch. Her leg propped on my coffee table with a bag of ice resting on her swollen ankle.
It’s her first time at my apartment, but even then she navigates the place like she’s been here countless of times. It feels so similar to our friendship, just comfortable.
Her arm is draped over my shoulder as I nestle into her side. When she first came over, I sat on the other side of the couch, so far away from her you would think we were fighting. And then she started talking, pulling me closer with her words until I sat right next to her. My body is leaning into her warmth.
An NBA finals game plays on the TV. Knicks versus the Thunder, it’s in the last few minutes of overtime, a high intensity game that Paige swore she couldn’t miss a second of.
“He’s so fine.” I chirp jokingly, Shai Gilgeous Alexander is on the screen, about to shoot game tying free throws.
Paige pulls her arm off of me, looking down at me incredulously before reaching for my remote. She lowers the volume on the TV, reducing Mike Breen’s commentating to a whisper.
“Who, Shai?”
“Yeah. You don’t think so?” I ask, looking up at her with a grin.
“I’m like a raging homosexual, but if you like it I love it?”
I laugh at that, pushing her hair away from my view. It cascades down her shoulders in soft bright strands that tickle my face.
“You can never just laugh at my jokes.”
“Your jokes aren’t funny.” Paige says. The face she makes reacts to her own statement like it’s obvious, when we both know I could make her laugh until she cried if I wanted to. “And Shai isn’t your type.”
I move from my spot next to her, jumping up and turning my attention to her face, while hers are stuck to the game. The way she is seated briefly makes me forget my train of thought. Her legs are spread comfortably and she leans back on the couch with her arms against the back of the couch. She looks like a fuckboy, and in any other scenario I would make fun of her for it, but the TV glow shines on her face just right and her cologne in my nose nearly makes me go blind.
I cross my arms over my chest. “What’s my type then, Paige?”
A commercial cuts on and Paige finally draws her eyes away from the screen. “What, Julian’s lightskin ass wasn’t the giveaway?” She laughs at her own joke, it’s stupid, but I love that laugh. So uniquely her. “Or y’want me to say you like six foot blonde girls.”
I roll my eyes, and when my vision clears up again, Paige is grinning at me.
“C’mon it was funny!”
“I don’t like women, idiot.”
“You like me.”
“I do not. I don’t even know why I let you hang out around me.” My body turns and my back hits the couch with a soft thud. Just to annoy her I sit further away from her body.
“Yeah okay, ma. You keep tellin’ yourself that.” Paige’s voice is low, a deep and raspy tone that I have never heard from her before. With Julian that had always been a given— he’s a man with a deep voice, that’s obvious. But when I hear it from Paige, I don’t know. It’s different.
My body just barely reacts to the pet name, but it’s there. The glob of saliva that pushes down my dry throat. And my legs just slightly press together. Paige reaches for the pocket of my striped shorts, tugging me back to my original spot in the curve of her body.
“You’ve really never done anything with a girl before?”
“Paige—”
“No, not to be annoying. I’m just wondering.” She shrugs. Her hand reaches over to flick the bag of ice off her ankle and brings her leg down to my carpet. She looks down at me slowly, a lick of her lips and scan of my face lets me know she’s listening, waiting for my response.
I return her gaze. “Yes, I’ve really never done anything with a girl before.”
“Why? We’re much better. Better than whatever Julian is doing for you, I can tell you that much.” Paige’s voice is smug, teasing almost. I don’t know if she’s trying to rile me up between my legs or in my heart so I defend Julian. Either way it’s working, my heartbeat quickening in my chest.
“You seem sure about that.”
She nods. “I am. I think you forget how often you complain to me about that guy.” She says with a laugh.
The game in front of us is dying down, a three point lead for the Knicks with 40 seconds left in overtime, Oklahoma just now calling a timeout. I know she’s into the game, way more than me, but still she looks at me with an intensity that makes it feel like we’re the only two things in the world.
“Doesn’t mean a girl could do it better.”
Her eyes darted from my eyes to my lips, I’m expecting them to move. To look back at my eyes or even at the TV but she doesn’t. Just me.
“Y’believe that?” Paige asks me.
“Uh huh.”
I’m going to lose. Whatever is going on with Paige and I, what has been going on for the last few weeks. The banter, the tension, the constant touching, it’s all a fight. Her and I are going back and forth like a fucking tennis match and she’s about to win. She’s about to make me lose whatever is left of my composure and grab the collar of her Hopkins High School t-shirt and kiss her until there’s no more breath in my lungs.
“Yeah? Ion know, can’t knock it till you try it.” She says, leaning into me for all of 5 milliseconds before sitting back in her seat and looking at the screen. The volume raises on my TV the cheers and commentary bouncing off the walls of my home.
Paige has left me frozen. Stuck there, in the exact position that she left me in. My eyes staring into the side of her perfect skin, burning holes there if I had the capability. I need her. My thighs are damn near glued together to keep me from dripping down my couch.
I adjust my position some, sitting uncomfortably on my heels but with the way Paige is manspreading, it gives me just enough to be an inch taller than her. She looks at me, eyes trailing from my thighs past my covered stomach and chest, suddenly I’m hyper aware of how close my tits are from falling out of my Skims top.
“There some’ you wanna tell me, angel?” She asks. I hate the way that nickname makes me feel. She’s the only one that calls me that, the only one who makes me feel so small with just a single word. “Or you jus’ gonna keep lookin’ at me?”
The words just barely die in the air before I’m leaning into her, pressing my lips to hers.
It starts off soft, so soft. Her body hesitates, like she knows better than to kiss me back but she does so anyway, tilting her head further and deepening the kiss. Paige hums against me, her arms still pressed against the back of the couch as if she has to avoid touching me. As if the second her hands touch my body then it’s game over.
She bites my bottom lip, making me moan against her. I further into the kiss, cupping her cheek and then it really is game over. Paige reaches for my hips, lifting my body onto her lap and settling my thighs on the outside of hers.
Her tongue is entering my mouth, warm and tasting like candy. They’re clashing, messy and sticky and so damn hot. Now that I’ve gotten a taste of her I’m not sure I want to give it up.
Paige roams my body with fervor. Trailing just a bit further to grab at my ass, kneading it in her large and veiny hands. I pull back from her breathlessly. Her hair is messy, lips so swollen and pink. It leaves me soaked as a response.
“This is doin’ so much damage. Y’know that?” She asks. Her hand travel back up my body to the back of my neck. I know it’s wrong, but still I let her pull me back into her.
“Mmm, Ion wanna— stop.” I speak against her lips, letting her kiss me as she pleases. Grope me as she pleases. Talk to me as nasty as she wants to. I miss it, the feeling of being so vulgar with another person. Paige is on a different level and I want so much more. More of her, more than anyone has ever given me but for whatever reason I know that she can.
My phone starts ringing. I try to pull back to answer it but she pulls me right back, navigating my mouth with her tongue.
“Don’t.” She mumbles.
“I gotta.” I tell her pulling back with such force that I’m almost falling off the couch. I need to. Because if I don’t stop, I’m gonna let her see me in my most vulnerable state and even I know how wrong that would be.
I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, swiping to answer the call before I can even see who it is.
“Hello?” My voice is wheezy, and I’m huffing and puffing into the speaker.
“Hey, baby. You home?”
It’s Julian. Of course it is. Of course God would let this man call me in the middle of making out with Paige just to make me feel guilty. Like the asshole I so obviously am right now.
“N— yeah. Yeah, but I’m busy. Sorry.” I stutter. “Paige is over right now.” I tell him honestly. But still, my breath hitches at my mention of her name. She rubs my thighs while I speak, looking at me like I’m a piece of meat.
Her hand travels to her mouth, holding up one finger to her lips with a snide glare. I reach to slap her hand away, barely listening to what Julian says to me on the other line.
Blah blah blah I miss you blah blah blah needa start hanging out with me blah blah less Paige. It’s gibberish. And I don't care.
“Yeah, okay. Goodnight Ju.” I tell him, bothered by his continued talking and wanting to occupy myself with something else. Namely, the pink lips in front of me that look so fucking pretty and the gorgeous face just inches away from mine.
I toss my phone on the couch after Julian responds and hangs up.
“You fuckin’ like me.”
“And don’t.” Just when I’m about to hop off of her lap, the TV blares loudly.
“Bang! Bang! Shai Gilgeous-Alexander takes us into double overtime!” Mike Breen’s cheers echo into my ears. Paige looks past me, obviously upset that she missed the shot.
“Damn. He’s good and fine?”
“Dont get fucked up, Raye.”
#sierrale8ne#kalena’s works ୧ ‧₊˚ 🍵 ⋅#paige bueckers#paige bueckers smut#paige bueckers x oc#uconn wbb#la sparks#lesbian#my fic#40 days and 40 nights
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bully⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
the endings
⋆˙⟡ zbully1 smut series masterlist! hanbin, jiwoong, hao, matthew, and taerae included. click here for game day (group) chapter.
⋆˙⟡ wc: member endings are ~1k each, group endings are less than 500 words each! (in total: ~5k)
⋆˙⟡ reader: no pronouns used for reader at all in any of the endings :)
⋆˙⟡ series summary: five bullies. six days. it's gonna be a hell of a week, babe. stay hydrated.
⋆˙⟡ endings summary: choose your own ending! jiwoong, hao, matthew, hanbin, taerae, group (quasi-poly), and group (revenge) are all included. most are angst/fluff and some are suggestive.
⋆˙⟡ warnings: there is no smut in these endings, but they allude to smut that happened previously or suggest smut that would follow these endings. please, minors dni still with this post! member endings are all happy (with angst). revenge ending is also happy, depending on what makes you happy! lol.
I'M SO SAD IT'S OVER. writing the bully series was so much fun! thank you to the anon who suggested it in the first place a couple months ago and for everyone who has given positive feedback/input! i appreciate it so much. these endings are all crafted with so much love! let me know which one you love most. maybe i'll put a poll at the bottom lol. ily, catch you in the next series!!
˚ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦
jiwoong 🎭
“so i’ll hand out these scripts and we’ll get started right away,” professor lee announces, walking around the room and handing out scripts for everyone’s assigned scenes. mina sits next to you as usual, except this week she’s staring daggers at jiwoong from across the room. you guess it beats her making googly eyes at him.
mina had called you last night to rant again about how much of a jerk “jiwoong-sshi” is. note the absence of the word “oppa”. you were sorry that he’d stood her up, but you knew what kind of a person he could be long before last week.
and she unfortunately didn’t seem to care how much of a jerk jiwoong was when you were the one bearing the brunt of it.
but you don’t want to dwell on it. you’d just fucked him and four of his friends in the campus activities lounge and had no plans to tell her. she’d asked you how the “revenge” went, but you’d kept it all pretty vague. mina was no prude, but she might have the urge to gossip a bit with news as insane as that. you wouldn’t blame her if she did.
still, you didn’t regret what you did saturday. not even a little bit. in fact, it made you feel kind of proud every time you thought about it.
you spend all of class working on a scene with mina in which you play a really outrageous set of characters trying to escape arrest. it’s a role that you’ve never opted to take before— one that requires you to be bold, funny, and brave.
professor lee praises you after you present it at the end of class. “excellent work. what’s gotten into you, (y/n)-sshi? whatever it is, let’s keep peeling back that shell!”
you smile with pride, eyes scanning the rest of the room until they happen to land on kim jiwoong.
he’s smiling, too.
when class ends, you pick your bag up off the floor and toss in your marked-up script. you’d normally throw it in the recycling bin, but you want to keep it this time. as a reminder of what you’re capable of when you’re sure of yourself.
mina giggles as you walk out the door together and into the hallway. “i’m surprised, but you really pulled that off!”
“i’m not.”
both of your heads whip around to find kim jiwoong leaning against the wall behind you.
“you just needed some... encouragement,” he says with a smirk, but there’s a noticeable warmth in his eyes.
“and what exactly do you need in order to be able to show up to a commitment you made?” mina asks with a scowl. your eyes narrow at him, too.
“listen, i–... i’m really sorry, mina,” he responds sincerely. the fact that he even got her name right has you stifling a gasp— let alone the apology that prefaced it. “i shouldn’t’ve stood you up. that was mean. so i’m sorry.”
mina sucks in her cheek, looking at the ceiling as she considers his sentiment.
“but i actually have something else to apologize for, too,” he adds quickly, gaze moving back and forth between the both of you. “i... i wasn’t really interested in you in the first place. i was—... i used you. to get a reaction out of the person i’m actually interested in.”
his eyes meet yours. your lips part in shock at his sudden confession. you stare at him for a long moment, unspeaking until—
“AREYOUKIDDINGMEYOUABSOLUTEDICKOFAHUMANBEINGYOULIETOANDSTANDUPMYFRIENDANDLEAVEHERINFUCKINGTURMOILOVERYOUANDTHEN—.”
you glance over at mina, expecting to see tears running down her face but instead...
she’s grinning. from ear to ear. and not in a joker sort of way— just genuine happiness.
“i knew it,” she says, clasping her hands together in front of her face and jumping excitedly. “i KNEW it! i knew you both liked each other!”
“you—... what!?” you exclaim, eyes bugging at this bizarre turn of events. “what do you mean, ‘you knew we liked each other’!?”
“i’m also confused,” jiwoong says with a frown. “considering i didn’t really know until, like, yesterday.”
“well, i knew you were going to like each other. eventually,” she says with a nod. “you know, shy, quiet person and arrogant, attractive person trope. it’s destiny!”
“if you really thought that, then why did you wanna go out with him so bad?” you ask through furrowed brow.
“‘cause he’s hot. duh,” she says, shaking her head with a smile as if your question was very silly. “can you blame me for wanting a taste first?”
“well, if it’s just a taste we’re talking about—,” jiwoong starts to offer with a smirk.
“one more word and the only thing you’ll be tasting is—” you interject, balling your hand into a fist.
“aw, first lovers’ spat! i’ll leave you guys to it,” mina says quickly before sprinting off down the now-empty hall.
you look down at your shoes awkwardly. “i have nothing else to say to you.”
“then, you won’t mind if i talk?” jiwoong asks, not waiting for a response to continue. “when hanbin made me start bullying you last year, i honestly didn’t want to. you were pathetic enough already without my help.”
“gee, thanks,” you reply with with a frown.
“but then i sort of started to have fun with it. the way you reacted was absolutely intoxicating. you made it all so rewarding— coming up with a new plan to drive you crazy every day,” he explains. “then last week, when we started that competition, i found a whole new way to drive you crazy. and i liked it a lot more.”
“this is the most convoluted apology i’ve ever received,” you remark with a sigh.
“after saturday, seeing you like that... you were far from pathetic. and it made me proud. i think, somewhere along the way, i just became really fond of you,” jiwoong confesses, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “and i also desperately want to buy you better clothes.”
“okay, i’m leaving now,” you announce, turning on your heel.
“what a coincidence. me too,” jiwoong says, grabbing your hand and lacing his fingers with yours as he starts to drag you with him down the hall. “you’re hungry, right?”
you start to protest, but as you look at his handsome side profile— dark hair covering the tips of his ears— you realize you are, in fact... hungry.
“starving,” you answer.
he stops walking to look at you, eyes widening with surprise. “yeah? what would you like to eat then?”
staring at his lips, you can’t help but lick your own. “mina’s right, y’know.”
jiwoong’s head tilts, the corner of his lip upturning slowly as he registers your expression. “is she?”
“mhm,” you answer, pressing your lips to his. he responds quickly: soft, lazy, and stupidly addictive. you can’t believe you let him get away last week without kissing you. you could give him just one chance, couldn’t you? “but what she doesn’t know...”
he attaches your lips again, free hand cupping your jaw.
“is that one taste of you...”
jiwoong inhales sharply as you gently bite his bottom lip.
“just isn’t enough.”
˚ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦
hao 🎻
you rush into orchestra on tuesday, already five minutes late. unfortunately, your regular bus never showed at the stop. and then your back-up bus also never showed. which means you had to walk all the way to campus when you hadn’t planned to— your violin case in tow.
rehearsal having started already, you make a beeline for your seat and frantically open your violin case. luckily you’d warmed up your instrument before you’d left your house this week and your bow is ready to play when it hits the violin strings.
or, it would be, if you didn’t just realize you forgot your sheet music.
“oh, for fucks sake,” you mumble, looking up at the sky and begging for the sweet release of death in this tragically embarrassing moment.
a soft creaking noise draws your attention to your left, where you find hao’s music stand is suddenly angled in your direction.
he doesn’t say anything or look at you. he just keeps playing. and so you follow the first chair’s lead.
rehearsal goes surprisingly well. you’re sure you managed to correct all of your mistakes from last week after being able to put more rosin on your bow.
“third and fourth chair are falling behind the tempo,” hao replies when professor ahn asks him for notes about the performance. your eyes widen when he names a violinist other than yourself that needs correcting. “it makes it harder for first and second chair to successfully introduce and complete the next movement.”
first and second chair? hao was voluntarily grouping you together?
professor ahn seems as surprised as you. she nods, writing down her own notes in the binder on her music stand. she waves her hand, dismissing the orchestra for the day. you clean your violin, getting it ready to be put back in its case as your classmates begin to file out of the orchestra room.
“(y/n)-sshi,” professor ahn calls suddenly from the doorway. your heart drops to your stomach at the mention of your name. “you actually played quite well today. i’ll assume it’s because you had the help of the concertmaster’s annotations. don’t be late again.”
you nod quickly, bowing your head respectfully to her. “thank you, professor-nim. i’ll play even better next time.”
you’re left alone with hao as usual, both cleaning your violins with the utmost care. when you finish, you place your instrument in its case before fishing around in the side pocket and pulling out something small.
hao locks his violin case, placing it sideways at his feet. finally, he looks at you.
you hold out the cake of rosin that he’d given you last week and told you to bring to your next rehearsal. you’d be remiss to notice that even though you didn’t show him until after class, he never told professor ahn that you’d stolen it like he threatened.
hao examines the rosin, completely ruined from what you’d both done with it. there was no cleaning it and you couldn’t use it if you tried.
you expect to catch some attitude, but, to your surprise, he smiles. “guess it couldn’t be salvaged, huh?”
“guess not,” you agree with a shrug. “at least you got some use out of it.”
“mm,” he hums after a moment before reaching down and reopening his violin case delicately. his hand disappears into one of the side pockets and pulls out a fresh cake of his premium rosin.
and then he hands it to you.
you stare at it in your palm, wide-eyed. “w-what are you—”
“you’re a pretty decent violinist,” hao says matter-of-factly. “sometimes— not often— but sometimes i feel like you have the potential to be almost as good as me. but you’ll never reach it if you don’t start using higher quality products to care for your instrument.”
“oh,” you reply, brow furrowing as he locks up his violin again. “so you’ve decided to take pity on me now?”
he smirks. “something like that.”
“i guess it’s better than pure hatred,” you respond, rolling your eyes as you tuck the box of rosin into your own violin case.
“i never hated you,” hao says with a frown. you sit back up, lips parting as your eyes meet his. “i didn’t particularly like you, but i only told professor ahn about the mistakes you were making because they were careless. you always came in the next week with those same mistakes completely perfected.”
“so you were motivating me through public shame?” you clarify, one brow piqued in disbelief.
“doing whatever it takes to improve the sound of the orchestra is what sets a great concertmaster apart from a mediocre one,” he explains, deciding to paint himself as a misunderstood martyr.
“oh, i’m sure it was so difficult for you to step up and take one from the team,” you mock, a laugh escaping you at hao’s audacity. “do you hear what you’re saying? you’re so fucking full of yourself. who gave you the right to play god and—?”
hao leans in, connecting his lips to yours mid-rant. your breath hitches in disbelief as he pulls back.
“would you be mad if i said i wanna get to know you better?” he asks, hand resting on your thigh.
you look down at his long fingers on your soft skin. “furious,” is what you answer.
he presses his lips together in a hopeless smile. “i’ll take it that means you don’t feel the same way then.”
“you always think you know everything about everything,” you huff, grabbing his hand in yours and bringing it further up your thigh. “but you don’t. so i guess you will have to get to know me better if you wanna keep being an insufferable know-it-all.”
as soon as a smile appears on hao’s face, it’s replaced by the cutest frown. “i’m sad now.”
“why?” you ask, not sure how your answer could’ve possibly made him sad when it was the one he wanted.
“i took for granted how absolutely fucking adorable you are when you’re angry,” he whines, a disheartened little pout on his pretty lips. “kind of makes me wish i could keep making you angry from time to time.”
you blink at him, looking around awkwardly as a reluctant smile grows on your face. “i mean—... i guess i’d have to worry about my playing skills suffering if you stop completely. that wouldn’t be very responsible of concertmaster-nim.”
“no, it wouldn’t,” he replies, biting his lip in a smirk. you’re fully aware of what this title does to him. “so what should i do to keep you playing well?”
you look up at the ceiling, considering your options. “maybe you could see what other things in the music room fit up my—” “that’s depraved,” hao scolds, shaking his head at you in shock before a grin peeks through. “are you free right now?”
˚ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦
matthew 💪
with three weeks left of your soccer unit in phys. ed, you braced for an awkward class on wednesday. as you wait outside in the warm, spring breeze with your classmates, you waited anxiously for matthew to show up.
he doesn’t.
coach yang blows his whistle, signaling for you to form a straight line in front of him. luckily one of your classmates asks the question for you.
“coach-nim! where’s matthew hyung?” the younger boy asks in front of you. “we wanted to talk to him about the game.”
“ah, matthew-sshi is on a strict regimen of weight-training and cardio until the championship,” coach yang answers with a sigh. a little quieter, he adds, “and maybe that’ll teach him to stay in line.”
maybe, you think. maybe not.
it’s a surprisingly pleasant p.e. class. your classmates are respectful, giving you as much grace during the game as possible. your sunbaenim from your calc class even pushes you behind him when a ball comes a bit too quickly towards your face.
“thanks,” you say with a smile.
he smiles back. “don’t mention it.”
this class sure was different when someone wasn’t trying to kill you the whole time. that being said, you’re pretty disappointed that matthew isn’t here. you can’t help but wonder how he would’ve treated you today after saturday night.
when class is over, coach yang hands you a hose, some rags and a ball trolley. he still can’t look you in the eye after what happened. “here’s your supplies. shouldn’t take you more than an hour.”
you nod ashamedly, getting to work right away.
“and a word of advice,” coach yang adds over his shoulder. “don’t be afraid to put him in his place from time to time. you played well today without him. it’s nice to see you have some more confidence, (y/n)-sshi. good luck.”
the last thing you were expecting today was a pep talk from coach yang. you walk over to the right side of the field and pick up a muddy, grass-stained ball and bring it over to the hose. washing it thoroughly and buffing any stains with a rag, you drop it into the ball trolley and make your way to the back of the field to retrieve a couple more.
you grab one from behind the goal, turning around to fetch the other one. but as you do, you come face to face with matthew— tossing the ball gently back and forth between his hands.
“hi,” he greets shyly.
your lips press together in an awkward smile. “hi.”
he doesn’t say anything else for a moment, so you brush past him— bringing your ball back to the hose. he follows behind you quietly, placing his soccer ball on the ground beside yours. you pick up the hose and douse them both in the cold water. matthew picks up a rag and kneels down on the ground next to you, buffing the soccer ball you’d brought over.
you pick up the one he brought over, doing the same. “that one was mine.”
his eyes widen, holding out the ball to you wordlessly in an attempt to give it back.
you can’t help but laugh. “i was just kidding.”
“right,” he replies with a nod, returning to cleaning the ball. “sorry.”
you raise one eyebrow at him quizzically. “are you okay?”
“hm?” he asks before nodding quickly. “oh, yeah. i’m fine.”
“are you sure?” you question further. “because this is my punishment and you’re helping me when you should be getting ready for practice.”
matthew shrugs. “it was my fault.”
“it absolutely was,” you agree, tossing your soccer ball into the trolley. “and you got away with it scot-free.”
suddenly, matthew’s hand reaches toward your forehead— thumb brushing over the tiny scar from where the ball he kicked had scraped your skin. “i shouldn’t have.”
well this is... new. matthew taking accountability for his actions? you never thought you’d see the day.
“i—... um...” he stutters, starting to pick at the grass in front of him. “i think i should probably be punished. for that. and for a lot of things.”
oh.
so he’d really liked it.
“oh. should i tell coach yang to—,” you play dumb, starting to stand up like you’re about to march right into his office yourself.
“NO! ... no. no,” matthew grabs your hand, keeping you seated next to him. he bites his lip, clearly embarrassed by what he’s about to say. “want you to do it.”
“huh,” you reply with frown. “i thought you didn’t really prefer people who were tainted.”
“you aren’t tainted,” he says, shaking his head. “that—... that was really immature of me to say. and gross. and i’m... i’m sorry.”
you look at him for a long moment, studying his eyes to see if he’s being genuine or not. there’s no obvious signs of lying. he’s very nervous, but it’s not because he’s being untruthful. maybe it’s because he finally is.
“and i can also assume that you said sorry to the waterboy?” you ask, pressing your lips together in an attempt to not laugh at his panicked expression. “and that defense player on the other team? actually, you should probably just draft a mass apology and send it to every university team you’ve ever played against. it would save some time.”
matthew nods sullenly. “yeah. i can do that.”
you have to admit, you like matthew quite a bit when he’s like this. he’s agreeable, apologetic, and distressingly adorable.
“i appreciate your willingness to cooperate,” you reply, patting him on the shoulder gently. “i think... maybe... we could make this work.”
matthew’s eyes light up at this. “really? you’d wanna keep doing... this?”
you smile. “yeah. it doesn’t sound so bad, now that you’re being nice to me.”
matthew smiles with embarrassment, avoiding your gaze. “i guess i should’ve tried this approach last year. but i—... have you ever heard of alpha male podcasts?”
“matthew,” you groan, palm flying to your forehead in disbelief. “you’re gonna unsubscribe from every single one of those, okay?”
he nods frantically. “of course. they didn’t get me anything anyway, except a light ‘roid addiction.”
“do not tell anyone that, oh my god,” you reprimand, hitting his thigh. “you’re also gonna throw all of that out immediately.
“ah, it was so expensive though,” he winces, tilting his head as he weighs the consequences. “can’t i sell them instead?”
“JUST GET RID OF—,” you shout, cutting yourself off when matthew suddenly leans over and kisses your cheek.
he grins. “you’re so beautiful when you’re disappointed in me.”
“you’re—... you—...” you stutter until matthew leans in again, pressing his lips to yours this time. he pulls back, leaving your brain hazy. “please don’t be so mean to me again.”
he shakes his head decisively. “i won’t. i promise.”
you smile, stomach fluttering as he beams at you.
“but, like... you’re okay with being mean to me sometimes, right?” matthew asks, scratching the back of his neck.
“oh, absolutely,” you answer with a nod. “i’ll start now.”
he laughs passively, obviously interpreting this as a joke. “sure, sure.”
you stand up, hovering your foot over his crotch. “finish cleaning these soccer balls. now.”
matthew’s eyes widen with fear, hopping to his feet immediately, bowing his head to you, and sprinting off to the end of the field to complete his task.
˚ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦
hanbin 📝
“hanbin-ah!” you shout, running down the dimly-lit, empty hallway. how far could he have made it in the few minutes since he’d stormed out of the activities lounge without so much as a word.
“hanbin-ah...”
a banging down the hallway to your right seems to signal his location. you turn down it, running until you reach the end and a long hall of public lockers unfolds before you. to your left is a very distraught hanbin, clanging his locker door about as he holds a small book in his hands.
the floor is littered with torn up pieces of paper, that seem to be coming from the book he’s holding.
“FUCK,” he yells, ripping out another page from the book and crumpling it up— tossing it onto the ground, where it lands at your feet.
you bend down and pick it up, carefully unfolding it and reading what’s written:
what the fuck does (y/n) see in junseo hyung-nim? i thought that poem was for me. could (y/n) really choose him over me? is he better than me? i don’t understand. what did i do wrong?
it’s a diary entry— your name, mentioned twice. the confession contained in it sends a chill down your spine. hanbin had posted your poem about junseo sunbaenim out of spite.
out of jealousy?
you pick up another crumpled paper and unfold it, reading:
i just hung up all the copies of the poem around campus. i got the other guys in on it, too. maybe this’ll teach you not to take people for granted. maybe it’ll keep you thinking about me.
hanbin throws his empty journal across the hallway, sitting down on the ground with his back against a locker as he runs a hand through his hair in distress.
you walk over to him cautiously, standing in front of him and waiting until he looks up at you. you hold out the pieces of paper from his journal and drop them on his lap. “so you decided to ruin my life because you couldn’t have me?”
hanbin reads the writing on the crumpled papers, tears suddenly spilling over and streaming down his cheeks. he wipes them away as quickly as they come. his chin dimples up with sadness. it reminds you of something...
you look in his locker, finding his messenger bag and opening the flap. you dig around gently until your hand wraps around it.
you sit down next to hanbin, back against a locker as you place the little, plush hamster in his lap. he stares at it for a long moment before finally picking it up in his hand and giving it a gentle squish. a tear falls onto the hamster’s nose.
“you found this the other day?” he says, rubbing the back of his hand across his cheeks again.
you nod. “he’s cute.”
hanbin smiles. “i was hoping you’d think that.”
“what do you mean?” you ask, a confused pout forming on your lips.
“i was hoping you’d think he was cute,” he says, running his thumb over the hamster’s fur, “when i bought it for you.”
“what?”
“on the class trip to the national library last year,” he continues. “we sat next to each other on the bus and you pulled three plushies out of your bag like it was the most normal thing ever. and you told me all their names and what they wanted to be when they grew up.”
“hanbin-ah...”
“and we took those polaroids of each other outside on the grass. and ate kimbap at the picnic table in the garden. and ran around together finding the weirdest books we could. and then, in the giftshop, they had a bunch of cute plushies themed off of children’s books and...” hanbin rambles wistfully. “and i bought this one for you while you weren’t looking.”
“hanbinnie, i’m so sorry,” you interject truthfully. you see the full picture now and you never had before. “i shouldn’t’ve been so oblivious as to make you feel like i was leading you on, but i was. and i never should’ve told you about that poem in the first place. i’m sorry.”
he blinks back at you before shaking his head adamantly. “it’s— it’s not your fault.”
“but i hurt your feelings,” you assert, meeting his gaze. “and i never wanted to do that. you were my first friend i made at university. actually, you’re the only friend i’ve made at university. how pathetic is that?”
he shakes his head again, brow furrowing sadly. “it’s not. it’s—... it’s my fucking fault that that happened. it’s... it’s all my fault.”
“hanbinnie, it’s—... it’s okay, you—,” you try to alleviate his burden, like the moral person you are.
“no, don’t do that. don’t say it’s okay, because it’s not,” hanbin asserts, rubbing his forehead with the heel of his palm. “i made you share something you didn’t want to. and i betrayed your trust. and i—... fucking—... all because i couldn’t handle my own emotions?”
you chew your cheek nervously. “listen, it’s okay—.”
“you’re the nicest person on the fucking planet if you can sit here and say that’s okay,” he says, a sad laugh escaping him. “i don’t deserve your forgiveness, but... i don’t know if i’ll ever be able to fully express to you how sorry i am.”
you don’t respond, stunned by hanbin’s genuine apology.
“i could try, though, if you want me to,” he blathers on anxiously. “i could write a hundred thousand words worth of apologies and you could rip them all up and make me start again and—.”
“he looks like you,” you interject suddenly.
he frowns. “hm?”
“the hamster,” you clarify, holding out your hand. eyes wide, hanbin places the hamster in your palm. “he looks a lot like you.”
hanbin doesn’t say anything, his eyes trained on the side of your face as you squish the little plush.
“it’s funny, actually,” you hold the hamster up for him to see. “looking at this hamster and trying to be mad at him is a lot like how it feels when i look at you.”
eyes still wide, hanbin’s bottom lip finds its way between his teeth— not sure how to answer to your overwhelming mercy.
“you’re right. that wasn’t okay,” you say as you bring the hamster to your lips, giggling after you give him a little peck. “but this is okay.”
“this?” he repeats.
“doesn’t this feel pretty nice?” you pose, eyes locking with his. “us getting along?”
hanbin nods slowly. “yeah. it does.”
“what do you say we continue this?” you ask with a smile. “indefinitely.”
“i—...” he stutters as a smile grows on his lips as well. “i’d really like that.”
“me too,” you agree, eyes abruptly narrowing. “but it’ll cost you.”
his brow raises, swallowing hard at your words. “absolutely. anything. name your price.”
you hold up the hamster to the side of your face, doing your best to mimic his little expression. “i want him.”
if hanbin’s eyes could turn to cartoon love hearts, they would. but because he’s a human person, his pupils simply dilate. “you—... i—... he’s yours. he was always yours.”
you grin, giving the hamster a hug. “thanks.”
“thank you,” he says, still reeling from your cuteness. “i’ll miss him, but he’s where he belongs now.”
“maybe you can visit him sometimes,” you offer, biting your lip shyly. “you’re clearly his biological father, after all. i’m sure your presence in his life is nothing less than enriching.”
he laughs. “some father i am. i didn’t even manage to give him a name.”
you smile. “he has a name.”
hanbin tilts his head curiously. “he does?”
you nod. “his name is binnie. jr.”
his cheeks turn red at this suggestion. “really? you want to name him after me?”
you don’t answer. instead, you ask softly, “hanbinnie?”
“yeah?” he replies eagerly.
“do you...” you start, finding the confidence to finish your question. “do you still like me?”
hanbin’s breath hitches in his throat. “um...”
“it’s okay if you don’t,” you assure with a sigh. “i just... a year ago, i didn’t even know someone like you would be interested in me. you’re so handsome. and smart. and the soccer team’s star player. i never even considered the possibility that you felt that way about me. but now, i—... i have more confidence. maybe you accidentally gave it to me, but i have it nonetheless.”
he looks at you intently, waiting for you to continue.
“and i think i realized that... i want you to like me,” you confess. “i wanted you to like me the whole time. i just didn’t want to admit it because i was afraid it was too much to ask for. and i—.”
“(y/n),” hanbin interjects with the fondest smile imaginable. “i like you so much i think my chest might explode.”
you can’t stop the grin that spreads across your face. neither can he. hanbin brings his hand to cup your jaw, leaning in and pressing his lips to yours.
“oh and i’m sorry i fucked all your friends right in front of your face,” you say, pulling back momentarily.
hanbin laughs, shrugging it off. “i totally deserved it. and... it was pretty hot.”
“keep kissing me,” you request with a smile.
“don’t have to tell me twice.”
˚ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦
taerae 🎤
after a completely bizarre session of portraits and quotes for the campus newspaper, the boys all awkwardly grab their things and head out the door. as you place your clipboard and pen on the activities director’s desk, you see a familiar backpack shoved behind a chair. you forgot you’d stashed taerae’s bag and phone in here when he didn’t come back for it on friday.
you walk over to it, picking it up off of the floor and slinging it over your shoulder. you shut off the lights, walking down the hallway until you spot your former best friend— sitting alone on the entrance steps to kang hall in the spring night air.
you plop yourself down next to him, placing his bag on the step in front of him. he turns to you, eyes red and watery.
“oh, tae,” you whisper, head falling instinctively to his shoulder.
“why’re you comforting me?” he asks with a sniffle. “you should be punching me in the face or something.”
“would you prefer it?” you joke, trying to get him to smile. “because i can absolutely just—.”
“this is good,” he says with a breathy laugh.
“good,” you affirm, lifting your head to meet his gaze. “i love you.”
“(y/n),” taerae seems to plead. “i can’t—.”
“i love you,” you repeat. “and i miss you so much.”
“i—...” he stumbles verbally, but grabs your hand in his. “i—.”
“when did you lose your virginity?” you ask, tilting your head curiously.
he gulps. “uh... a couple years ago.”
“and you didn’t tell me?” you question, a little hurt that he’d kept this big news a secret from you even when you were still friends. “to who?”
taerae shakes his head anxiously. “it’s not that important.”
“oh, come on,” you urge, squeezing his hand. “i told you i lost mine to sungchan oppa during that pool party at mina’s dad’s house.”
he flinches at this. “i remember.”
“it was that same pool party where you threw up in the pool,” you say with a smirk. “an eventful night for both of us.”
“mhm,” taerae mumbles shortly. he was definitely growing more bothered with each mention of that party.
“and to think, a couple of years later we’d do what we just did,” you muse in an attempt to dig something more out of him. “we’ve come so far from you throwing up in the pool at the thought of kissing me.”
“i never said that!” taerae exclaims with frustration. “you said that. and i just... went with it.”
you shake your head, brow furrowing confusedly. “then why did you throw up?”
“because—... because i was nervous,” he says softly. “i was so nervous to kiss you that i threw up in mina’s dad’s pool and then i was so embarrassed that i couldn’t even open my mouth to deny that i was disgusted by the thought of kissing you.”
you blink at him in shock. “did—... did you have feelings for me?”
after a long moment, he nods. but there’s more tension lingering under the surface. you know there’s more that needs to be said.
“i really liked you,” taerae confesses softly. “i never wanted to weird you out or anything, but i just liked you from the first day i met you. i loved being your friend, but i just couldn’t help it. when you told me at that party that you’d hooked up with sungchan hyung... i just got so jealous. i thought i could be cool about it, but i was drunk and...”
your eyes are wide, clinging onto his every word.
“and i hooked up with someone, too,” he admits with a pained expression. “i thought it might be the only way to make you jealous back, so i—... i—...”
you hold your breath.
“i hooked up with mina!” he exclaims quickly, looking down at his lap in shame.
“YOU WHAT!?” you scream, grabbing his jaw and forcing him to look you in the eyes. “that’s not fucking funny!”
“i know it’s not,” he replies despairingly. “i regretted it instantly afterwards. no— while it was happening. i was so disgusted with myself. i hated lying to you, but i just couldn’t bring myself to tell you the truth. i thought i wouldn’t have to until last year, when hanbin hyung came up to me in the hallway after class.”
your brow furrows at the mention of hanbin’s name.
“he said he knew what i’d done with mina. apparently he had a few friends that went to the party,” he explains sadly. “and that if i didn’t do exactly what he told me to, that he’d tell you what i did and he’d make things even worse for you. i just couldn’t let either of those things happen.”
“how—... how did you even manage to bag mina?” you ask in a daze.
“well, i mean,” taerae grimaces. “it’s mina.”
“she’s a total slut,” you nod, catching on immediately. “more power to her.”
“the most power to her,” taerae agrees quickly.
“why didn’t she tell me?” you wonder.
“oh, that one’s easy,” taerae answers with a shrug. “she said she’d rather die than let anyone know we slept together.”
“that sounds like mina,” you affirm. so the truth was out. it’s hard to wrap your head around everything all at once, but you were definitely relieved that taerae didn’t actually hate you. he was just an idiot.
“i’m so sorry, (y/n),” he apologizes genuinely. “for everything.”
you sigh heavily. “i’m sorry, too.”
taerae’s eyes widen in surprise. “what do you mean? you don’t have anything to be sorry for.”
“i’m sorry i bragged to you about losing my virginity. i could’ve been more sensitive with that information,” you reply. “and i’m sorry that i said you threw up in the pool, because you didn’t want to kiss me and never asked you what the truth was. i could’ve been more considerate of my best friend.”
“i love you,” taerae says abruptly. “being without you this year was literally the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”
you nod in affirmation. “let’s never do it again.”
“never,” he agrees with a wide, dimpled grin. that smile you missed so much. you watch it fade naturally, replaced by a fond gaze. but you desperately want to see it again.
so you do the only thing that you can.
you kiss him.
he pulls back after a moment, that perfect grin shining back at you. it’s enough to light up the night sky.
“i know i was using the past tense before, but,” taerae says, biting his lip. “i still really like you.”
you smile, pulling him back in to meet your lips again. “prove it.”
˚ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦
group (poly) 🥵
you look around the room, every boy avoiding eye contact with you in an attempt to quell the awkward tension. it feels amazing. exactly how you were hoping it would.
"so, uh," jiwoong starts, scratching the back of his neck. "are we gonna do those interviews now?"
you shrug. "you can just text me a quote, if you want. probably easier actually."
they all agree nonverbally, the uncomfortable haze still lingering in the air.
"you can also text me about when you'll be free again," you add, the boys heads turning rapidly to look at you.
"uh... which one of us?" matthew asks with a frown.
you shrug. “whoever’s down.”
“you—… you wanna do this again?” hao asks, lips parted in shock.
“why not?” you answer honestly. “i had fun. but if you’re not into it, that’s okay too.”
“i’m into it!” hao replies a bit too quickly. “i just meant that… i didn’t know you would be.”
“i guess before last week, someone would’ve had a hard time convincing me that i’d wanna do this once— let alone twice,” you admit with a smile. “but i think i’ve proved i changed.”
“and you’re okay with… changing?” taerae asks, worry in his eyes.
you nod definitively. “yeah. i am.”
“so, after all this, you’ve decided you just wanna fuck all of us whenever you want?” hanbin asks, standing up from the desk he’s sitting on and walking over to you. “you really think you’re hot enough for that?”
you smile at him. “no one’s forcing you to participate.”
hanbin frowns, studying you as you hold eye contact.
“don’t be too upset, hanbinnie,” you say with a pout. “you’re the one who wanted me to fuck your friends in the first place. you just forgot to consider i might end up really liking it.”
he stares at you for another long moment. and then, he smiles. “i guess you’ve won your own game then?”
you smile back. “i guess i have.”
“then i have to pay the price, fair and square. we all do,” hanbin nods with respect— an undeniable warmth in his gaze. “congratulations.”
you look at the other boys around you— excitement reaching their eyes as you grin. were they really all yours now?
“thanks,” you say happily. “i couldn’t have done it without you.”
˚ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦
group (revenge) 😈
˚ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦
you look around the room, every boy avoiding eye contact with you in an attempt to quell the awkward tension. it feels amazing. exactly how you were hoping it would.
"hey, is that camera on?" jiwoong suddenly asks, pointing at the camera you set up by the photo wall to take portraits for the campus activities interviews.
at least, that's why you told them you set it up.
"there's a little red flashing light," hao observes with a frown. "to the left of the lens."
"did—... did you record this?" matthew asks, fear palpable in his eyes as he looks at you.
you hop off the desk you're sitting on, grabbing your shorts and shimmying them on. walking over to the camera, you hit the record button again to stop filming. then you, take the camera off it's tripod and throw it in your bag that's sitting on the ground beside it.
"it was a pleasure doing business with you boys," you say, making your way towards the door.
hanbin stands up, grabbing your shoulder. "what are you gonna do with that?"
you shrug. "nothing."
his brow furrows tensely, not sure whether to relax or not.
"yet," you finish.
"(y/n), please," taerae begs from behind you. "please don't post that."
"i'm not gonna post it," you say, rolling your eyes. "i'm in the video, too, remember?"
the boys look around at each other, not sure what to do.
"but if i have to," you threaten, unlocking the door, "i won't hesitate. could anything be worse than what you've already put me through?"
"wait, (y/n)!" jiwoong calls. "we're—... we're sorry. we're all really sorry for everything."
"i'm sure you are," you reply, opening the door and exiting the activities lounge...
"i'm sure you'll stay sorry for a long time, too."
#zb1 smut#zerobaseone smut#zb1#zerobaseone#zb1 fics#zb1 imagines#zb1 x reader#zerobaseone fics#zerobaseone imagines#zerobaseone x reader#kim jiwoong#jiwoong#kim jiwoong smut#jiwoong smut#kim jiwoong x reader#jiwoong x reader#kim jiwoong fics#jiwoong fics#zhang hao#hao#zhang hao fics#zhang hao smut#zhang hao x reader#hao smut#seok matthew#seok matthew smut#seok matthew fics#seok matthew x reader#sung hanbin#hanbin
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤTo my 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 fan.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤRicky × M!reader.
Summary: You and Quan have been dating since a few months after he debuted, and you decided to surprise him by going to one of his fansing.
Genre: fluff, curses (few), lovers, a lot of affection.
Author's note: This will be a unique chapter, + it was a request from days ago, It's a little short, but I hope you like it! ♥︎
words: +500.
"Please continue to love and support us!" Said one of the boys who was one more member away from Ricky and clearly everyone knew who you were. You were very nervous because you didn't know what his reaction would be, however your heart calmed down a little after seeing the next member, it was JiWoong, he immediately smiled at you and took your hands to caress them a little, you both had a very good talk, after all he was your closest friend outside of the Idol-Fan role.
On the other hand, Ricky would have heard your voice and made him nervous, it didn't take that long for him to start looking for you with his eyes and come across the scene that you were quite close to your friend, JiWoong, he became a little jealous now. It was impossible not to see the two of you beyond the fact that you were laughing almost out loud. You were practically very close to him, just a few meters away. A short time passed and you were already in front of your boyfriend, everything felt so strange, but you knew how to handle it and you took out a small gift from your small bag.
"T-take it, it's a little drawing I made for you, on the back there are some words that I always wanted to say to you" You said with a smile on your face, the boy would have purposely brushed his hands against yours and whispered to you in Chinese:—"I love you a lot, my love".— to which you responded in the same way, and now he was the one who took your hands firmly after having kept the letter in his pants pocket. Sadly, time was about to end, and he decided to sign the album you had on the table. Inside it, he left a small letter along with several hearts around it. After a couple of smiles before the staff let you know that you were finally done, you went back to your seat and enjoyed the last hour where they did nothing more than read some letters and dance to songs from other groups.
You had finally arrived home, somewhat tired from the posture you were doing for no more than 10 minutes between each member, however you were happy to have seen Ricky so happy. You were inside your little bubble until someone rang the doorbell of your apartment, you quickly got out of bed and went to the door, you noticed that it was the same boy who made you feel like you were in heaven. You didn't hesitate to open the door and also receive a big hug for him.
"I read the letter you gave me, you don't know how much I wanted to hug you and kiss you at that moment" Quan said after separating slightly from you, this to leave a small kiss on your lips. You smiled naively and began to leave several kisses on his face, which made him smile and let a soft laugh come out of his lips. "We're in a pretty private place, I think we can stop pretending that I'm just a fan who admires everything you do." You closed the door that was behind the tallest boy and broke away from the hug to take his hand. You turned around and started heading towards the sofa.
And so you two spent a fairly quiet night, you did nothing but kiss, compliment each other on how they looked at the meeting, hug each other and many other things. Finally, you both fell completely asleep, and you only got up for a short period to tell the boy that they should go to the room. "Baby, come on, it will be more comfortable in bed." Ricky nodded and took your hand to head to your room.
#kpop x male reader#zb1 ricky#ricky x reader#zb1 x reader#zb1 imagines#zb1#x men#gayasf#mlm#kpop scenarios#kpop smut#kpop fanfic#kpop boys#shen ricky#male reader#gn reader#zb1 reactions#ricky zb1#shen quanrui#kpop imagines#kpop x reader#kpop
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Kissed by Fire pt 3
Summary - Amelia Archeron, the oldest of the made sisters, sacrificed more than her sisters would ever understand, and more than she would ever allow them to know. Now, they want her to sacrifice her one chance at happiness, too.
Warnings - Amelia was a prostitute, body insecurities, mentions of abuse, and the author's loose understanding of chess, but using it more as symbolism and foreshadowing
A/n - it's happeniiiiiing. Things are short and sweet to allow me to make a giant scene where Eris and Amelia meet in the next chapter, and we get to hear Eris say my favorite Eris line to her 🫠
Series Masterlist ✨️ Eris Masterlist ✨️ Master Masterlist
Rhys sat across from Amelia, a chessboard set up between them.
He was ruining a game he and Azriel had been playing before he left for the Mountain, but he could not think of any other way to explain to Amelia how powerful and valuable she was, and this was a language the oldest sister would understand after years of playing with her father.
“Lower fae with minimal powers,” he grimaced at the term, “would be like the pawn pieces.” He held one obsidian Pawn in his hand. “They're able to move one space toward but can not go back. Lesser fae can sometimes winnow, but if they make it is another conversion entirely, and they will be worn magically from the effort.”
Amelia nodded. She watched as Rhys picked a bishop, “Low fae with more magic singing through them would be like a bishop. Larger winnowing patterns are possible but still limited.”
“Most fae who prefer to call themselves by their race, such as my illyrians, would be similar to a knight. Capable of larger movements and typically able to jump exactly where they want, granted, most would rather just fly, so winnowing is not a skill the Illyrians truly care about.”
“All brawn no brain,” Rhys smiled at her statement.
His hand moved to a rook. “High fae would be similar to the rook. Typically they're able to go wherever they like within reason, but the jump may be difficult and use more magic than expected.”
He ignored the king piece, the least valued piece in chess, and moved to the queen. “You, my dear Amelia, are the queen piece. There is no limit on your movement,” he paused, ensuring she was looking at him. “Through our world or into another if wanted.”
“Lovely. What exactly does that mean?”
Rhys smiled at Amelia, watching as she rotated in her seat to stare at the map of constellations he had charted many years ago. “It means you can lead whole armies into new worlds and territories by just looking at one of those strings that holds the fabrics of our world together. It means the realm, our world, can communicate to you where to go when you ask and you can get there regardless of the distance with less than half the amount of effort it takes for a High Lord to winnow from Spring to the Night Court.”
He paused, looking at the map with her. “It means you could pull one of those strings and open a rift to a new world. If they are out there.”
“And why is this such a useful skill that you all are now fighting about taking me to Hewn City?” Amelia clocked Rhys straighten slightly, eyes glaring.
“You've been listening to conversations not meant for you again.”
Amelia leaned forward, wrapped in that sweater that made Rhysand's skin crawl anytime he saw it. “Perhaps you all should not discuss someone like they aren't sitting in the same home as you. Who is Eris?”
Rhys sighed, leaning forward to meet her at eye level and show her he would not, and would never, be intimated by her. “Eris is Lucien's older brother. He is a heartless, cruel, and selfish asshole.”
Amelia rolled her eyes. “I've been around my fair share of bad men, Rhys.
“Not that were over 500 years old and used words for warfare. Eris likes powerful things. He will see you as an object for collection.”
“Sounds familiar," Rhysand glared at her serpent smile, "You assume I would allow myself to be collected.”
“I assume it would be best to protect you and not risking him charming his way to you.”
“So, he's charming.” Rhys could help but laugh, watching as Amelia smiled too, the air feeling lighter. “I still think you should let me go.” She batted her lashes at him, watching as his chest stilled and smirked.
“You are dangerous as well. Batting those pretty eyes to get your way. Have you always been like this?”
“No,” she replied softly. He watched her mind go back to a simpler time, chasing a young Feyre through the market in fine clothing before going back to the night she sold everything to keep them alive. “I was made dangerous.”
Amelia stared at the scrap of the clothing Feyre was holding up to her. She could have sworn this was Rhysand mocking her, attacking her despite the period of almost friendship they'd had the past week.
“I'm not wearing that,” Amelia curled into herself, hugging herself tighter. “That isn't even a dress.” The dress, if she caved to Feyre's desires and called it that, was surprisingly white. But it would cover nothing.
Amelia had worn dresses like it before. Dresses meant to entice and entertain. Dresses meant for seduction. Dresses meant to flaunt. She hated them every time. Her mother and grandmother had beaten modesty into her, and her former line of work had ripped it apart. She had hoped in this new body, this new life, she could go back to the safety fabric offered.
Rhys had promised never again. He promised her safety. This dress wasn't safety. “Ask Rhys if there's something else I can wear.”
Feyre's smile fell. “I am high lady of this court-”
“Then if it was your idea, I will remind you that you are my sister. My baby sister. Asking me to wear this is so violating, Feyre. I would never ask that of you. Regardless of my status over you." The one you constantly hang over my head was left unspoken. It was resentment on Amelia's end, just annoyance at Feyre's newfound entitlement.
“Do you not want to reclaim your body? Hybern took your human body from you. Don't you want to own what you have now?”
Amelia could hardly believe what she was hearing as she mentally called for Rhys, and he appeared. “I do not have to wear that to reclaim myself.” The High Lord's eyes were wide as he took the dress from Feyre. They were communicating silently between them, the female glaring up at her husband.
“I had a different dress commissioned in case you said no to this one. We do allow choice in this court,” Rhys started slowly, taking Feyre's jaw in his hand. “If your sister likes this one so much, she can wear it herself.”
Amelia couldn't help but smile at the two of them. Despite her and Feyre never being as close as she would have liked, seeing her happy, seeing Feyre smile, brought Amelia joy. “You look beautiful when you're happy, Feyre.” You watched her sister flush and Rhysand smile wide. “Even if your mate is mediocre.” The male's mouth fell open as Feyre began to laugh, eyes sparkling at the sign of life coming back to Amelia.
“Lia! You can't say that,” her voice was laced with giggles as Rhysand stood there in shock, seemingly too stunned to speak. “I think you broke him.”
“Good,” Amelia kissed her brother's cheek softly before taking the dress, caving to Feyre's wants for once in her younger sister's life. “He needs to be humbled every so often. I will wear this once. Then, I want things that cover a bit more. We can compromise on design." Feyre sighed as Amelia kissed her temple, that once motherly love healing a small part of her. "I am going to freeze in this."
“What do you want in return?”
“Freedom for the night. No brooding male following my every footstep. No wings hovering in the distance. Just freedom for one night.”
Feyre did not give Rhysand time to fight. “Deal!”
Eris hated Hewn City. He had since he was first brought to the Mother forsaken place as a child, but now it reminded him all too much of that mountain. Of Amarantha.
He wondered how Rhysand had the strength to be down or if the strength was just another finely crafted mask the male wore.
His usual room had not changed since he was last here over a hundred years ago. Eris threw himself on the bed, allowing a few moments of rest on the dark sheets and blanket before he would have to get dressed into the fine trousers and jacket he had packed himself.
He had no worries about Keir. Dealing with that male was easy. If he believed he was benefiting from whatever he was offered, he normally took the bait without question.
He had packed an exquisite outfit, smiling at the amount of his father's money sewn into each thread. He checked it over, ensuring nothing was loose and out of place before getting dressed. He could already hear the music, the laughter, and smirked, knowing he was late and would walk in while Rhysand was already sat on his throne.
He walked along the palace walls, waiting until the doors opened before entering. Azriel was the first to spot him, immediately going to Rhysand and whispering in his ear. He felt those violet eyes on him studying him, but nothing mattered to Eris as much as what he saw.
There, on the dance floor, was the most beautiful female he had ever seen. For Eris, nothing else mattered. There was no one else there.
It was just her.
That beautiful creature, laughing too hard to be deemed appropriate. Smiling larger than she should. Dancing with every male that asked.
She was an enigma, and Eris was more than ready to dive into every complex piece of her.
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twenty four hours (modern!eddie munson x fem!reader)
HOUR SEVEN
in which you come to a few realizations while remembering the very first night you'd met eddie. a phone call with steve leaves you with more questions than answers.
→ tropes: enemies to lovers, forced proximity, slow burn
→ warnings: strong language, eventual smut, heavier angst this chapter but all will be well soon, two uses of y/n, upside down does not exist, minors dni
→ word count: 4.4k+
→ a/n: shorter chapter today but the focus here is the memory! finally making some progress haha. also trying out something new with formatting/the summary situation. if i hate it, i'll probably change it. <3 also, italicized portion is a memory.
masterlist.
spotify playlist.
◁ previous part, next part▷
7:00 ────ㅇ────────────── 24:00
DINGUS: [image attachment]
DINGUS: y/n just texted me this. we’re not getting an update this hour.
BIRDIE: what the hell happened?
DINGUS: she hasn’t said yet, as you can see in the photo, robs.
ARGYLE 😎: what do we THINK happened?
BIRDIE: my best bet is fighting?
ARGYLE 😎: lover’s quarrel? Makes sense.
BIRDIE: i’m adding nance back into the chat
BIRDIE added NANCE to the groupchat.
BIRDIE: @NANCE explain what you meant earlier please. we’re having a code red. the bad kind.
DINGUS: there’s a good kind of code red?
NANCE: Oh God, what happened?
DINGUS: y/n texted me saying she fucked up, and we’re assuming either she’s finally murdered eddie, or they’re fighting again.
NANCE: I can call Eddie, if you guys want?
JOHNNY: So does this mean we’re all $500 richer?
BIRDIE: @JOHNNY if you still think this is about the money, you’re a fucking idiot
—
HOUR SEVEN - 10:00 PM
There had been a time in your life where you believed you didn’t hold a single mean bone in your body. A time where you were soft-spoken, a time where you overflowed with kindness and dotted out compliments to random strangers. There was once a version of you in this lifetime that worked so fervently to be the type of person people liked and enjoyed the company of. You always swore to always treat others with the same grace as you would prefer to receive as well.
A year ago, that version of you had been sidetracked.
You stare at the wooden frame of Eddie’s door with blank eyes. He wasn’t going to open it any time soon. You’d tried knocking multiple times, calling out to him in a soft voice, begging and pleading and begging and pleading. His response continued to be silence.
“All I’ve ever done is hurt you.”
With the haze clearing, in the midst of the aftermath and sour clarity, you wish you would have corrected him. Eddie and you had surely hurt each other countless times, but it is not all he’s ever done.
You can remember the better moments clearly now. The time you’d tripped walking up the steps of one of the bars on Main Street, and Eddie had been the only person in your friend group to stop completely, reflectively reaching out to catch you from embarrassing yourself. The night of your birthday, in which he hadn’t come to the party due to “work” as Steve had explained, but had sent a card along with your friends that contained a gift card to your favorite coffee shop. You hadn’t even realized he knew your favorite coffee shop, and you’d come to find out that he didn’t even ask a single one of your mutual friends for it. You’d brushed it off as a lucky guess. And there was the time you’d forgotten your wallet during a brunch with the group, and he hadn’t hesitated to pick up your bill with his own. He didn’t even give Robin the chance to argue; he’d simply snatched your bill from across the table when you’d paled as you dug through your bag, and didn’t say a word about you paying him back.
Small moments. Glimpses of kindness, bandages on wounds that you’d been ignoring to keep up a war between the two of you that you’d always assumed he’d started.
Eddie Munson wasn’t the enemy, and the first night you two met was never a red herring; it was a glimpse into who he actually was. A clear look past the armor he hadn’t formed yet when it came to you.
—
A YEAR AGO
“They’re going to love you!” Robin insists as she continues to shove you from behind through the entrance of the bar. Steve is ahead of you, guiding you through the rough crowd to the table the rest of the group had already snagged.
You turn your head over your shoulder, reaching up and grabbing the hand that Robin rested on you, “You don't know that. What if they hate me? What if they think I’m the worst person they’ve ever met?”
Even as you wore a smile, there was a truth to the fear in your words. You were petrified that these strangers, strangers who meant so much to your only friends on campus, would turn their noses to you. There was nothing Robin or Steve could do to extinguish the fear. It was already a terrible knot in the pit of your stomach, tying and untying itself like a nuisance as Steve started to wave at a brunette who had been scanning the bar as if waiting for someone.
She’s pretty. Wavy hair barely brushing her shoulders, sharp features accentuated in the shadows of the busy location. The moment her blue eyes locked on Steve, all the concentration on her face faded to be replaced with an excited smile.
She returns the wave, and the boys surrounding her at the table all glance in your direction.
You’re still half-hidden behind Steve as the three of you approach the group. Robin bounds out from behind you, scooping the woman you assumed was the famous Nancy into a barrelling hug. Your eyes flickered to the boy sat to Nancy’s right, shaggy hair flopping against his forehead and smile creases exposed as he nods to Steve and holds up his drink in greeting. Beside him, another man sits, long and shiny hair flowing over an outrageous Hawaiian print shirt and topped off with a baseball cap that looked to be the merchandise of a pizza shop. His smile is welcoming – something comforting in the relaxation of it.
You’re almost completely captivated by the warmth that bled from the group when Steve and Robin are suddenly taking their seats. Robin sits beside Nancy, while Steve takes the seat across from the man with long hair.
The only seat left open was between Steve and a man who’s back was turned to you.
His hair is in a loose bun, unraveling against the nape of his neck. You could see each and every defined curl. His broad shoulders stiffen beneath a leather jacket and denim vest, and his ring-clad hand cradles a short glass of something dark, something fizzy.
“Alright, everyone!” Steve announces, turning and beckoning you to take this seat. Your stomach twists again, realizing you’d be sitting beside a stranger. One who had yet to even spare you a glance, “This is Y/N.”
There’s rounds of greetings and introductions as you brush shoulders with the stranger to take your seat, and try as you might to keep up, all you can focus on is not looking at him.
You’re guess was correct – the pretty girl that Robin had hugged was Nancy. The boy with floppy hair at her side was Jonathan, and the man with long hair told you his name is Argyle. His tone of casualty matches the comfort of his smile as he holds a hand out to you across the table, both your elbow and his brushing against empty baskets once filled with bar food as you shake.
Finally, you turn to look at the stranger beside you, Steve reaching around to clasp his shoulder.
“And mister oh-so-welcoming here is Eddie.”
Eddie. He finally turns to look at you, with doleful eyes and a tight-lipped grin, and you almost forget how to breathe.
He was intimidating. All broodish glances and stand-offish energy. But then Argyle cracks a joke, and suddenly, it all fades. The air in the room crackles frantically as you watch him chuckle slowly at first, until he finally descends into cackles with Steve and Jonathan alike.
That’s when the first vine sprouts.
The second one does when the conversation becomes overwhelming, and you find yourself lost amongst the sea of new friends. They’re nothing but friendly, trying to learn more about you but easily falling into well-established inside jokes at times. When you descend into silence as you watch them recount a story of a time that Argyle snuck them into his job after hours, you suddenly feel Eddie lean in closer to you.
“I think they tell this story every time they get drunk,” he whispers, tilting his head so that the words only reach your ears, “I’ve probably heard it a hundred times by now.”
You bite back a smile, “Just tonight, or the entire time you’ve known them?”
“Both.”
You have to fight hard to swallow down giggles, Eddie hiding his with a sip of his drink. A waiter who had taken your order nearly ten minutes ago arrives with your own drink. An amaretto sour.
“I’m Eddie, by the way,” he says as you taste the drink. Its citrus bursts across your tongue and you nod.
“So Steve mentioned.”
“Yeah, but I felt bad for not introducing myself,” he shrugs. You were facing him fully now, no longer trying to stick vehemently to Steve’s side. “I didn’t want to seem like a dick, just… had a long week.”
You knew all about long weeks.
“I get it,” you assure him, “Are you in school, too?”
“Night classes,” he supplies with a wave of his hand, “Midterms are a bitch, especially after working all day.”
“Tell me about it. I think I’m about ten seconds away from getting fired at my current gig,” you joke, and Eddie laughs. It occurs to you that you’d probably do just about anything to hear his laugh more, and already begin to conjure up terrible jokes to pull that sound from him once more. It’s even more comforting than Argyle’s friendly cadence, than Steve’s elbow knocking yours to remind you he’s still there.
“Why would you think that?” Eddie’s nose scrunches, more curls falling against his cheek. Your drink is immediately forgotten.
“He caught me talking shit,” another laugh falls from Eddie’s lips at your deadpan, more reserved than the previous but just as melodic, “I give it a week. He was already looking for a reason to send me to the chopping block. Says I talk too much to customers.”
“Is that even possible?”
“Apparently.”
For a moment, in the smoky bar, it’s just you and Eddie. All knotting nerves have been replaced by the weight of the vines that surge higher and higher in your chest, growing at impossible rates. They don’t strangle you like your fears of the night had; their weight is a comforting hold, something solid to reach out for in the unfamiliar territory of new socialization. Without the mask of intimidation, Eddie feels like an old friend.
You assume that everyone else is distracted by their own conversation, but Robin catches the way you lean into him as the two of you joke. She nudges Nancy subtly, and they both share a look when Eddie blushes at you being impressed as he tells you that his battle vest is hand-sewn.
Your vines are not as hidden as you assume they are, certainly not when the first bud of hopefulness begins to grow.
“So how long have you known Steve?” you ask him quietly, still under the guise of the two of you having created your own small bubble of a moment.
Eddie downs the last of his Jack & Coke, something you caught onto by smelling it on his breath when he had gotten particularly close to you during conversation, “Too long. We all met in high school, actually.”
“Oh, don’t tell me that,” you groan, and your forehead dramatically falls into his shoulder without second-thought. He stiffens beneath the connection, “I’m infiltrating a friend group that’s stood the test of times? I’m doomed.”
You nearly lift your head from his still stiff shoulder, afraid to make him uncomfortable, when he brings a hesitant hand to pat your back jokingly, “There, there. I think you’re fitting in fine.”
“Just fine? Ouch,” you finally lift your head as you had planned to, just as Eddie had begun to relax into your touch. His hand doesn’t fall too far from your back, resting on the back of your chair. His shy grin is impossibly charming, “You could have just said I’m crashing and burning, you know?”
The night carries on like that, you and Eddie lost in private conversations only to be occasionally dragged back in on whatever debate the group is having. It’s a spring reaction; once one or both of you have given your two cents, you return to one another, finding solitude in joking and Eddie updating you on the group’s ‘lore’, as he puts it. Steve shoots several glances in your direction, always prepared to offer comfort in what should be an overwhelming situation, but he never has to. Every time he glances at you, Eddie is already taking the lead of entertaining you, qualming all your anxieties into non-existence.
Your vines decorate with buds of hope. Every laugh you pull from Eddie, every fleeting touch that passes between the two of you, every new inside joke he decides to make with you rather than indulging in ones set in stone already with old friends - they all whisper of new friendship. They whisper in potential, in new beginnings and coming home after long weeks.
By the time Nancy announces she has to go to the restroom and invites you and Robin, you’re in full bloom. You’re convinced that Eddie is a friend. And you can see it in his eyes – he’s convinced of it too, looking nervous when you stand and agree to go with Nancy. He looks like a child about to lose their social crutch, and it has potential to be devastating.
It’s almost enough to make you ignore your bladder, but you need to pee, and you need to socialize with more than just Eddie tonight.
You’re not sure what happens at the table during your trip to the bathroom. But something surely does happen as you giggle with the girls under the humming lights of the restroom, as you all stand in the mirror side by side and fiddle with your hair and makeup and Robin makes a comment about how terribly cliche the moment is. Nancy slaps her on the arm, mutters something about the importance of girls bonding, and when you return to the table, you see it immediately – Eddie’s mask of indifference has returned.
His cheeks are flushed, and all the boys are sharing nervous glances between one another as you all sit down again.
There’s no more fleeting touches. You sip on your now watered down drink, and you try and pull Eddie out from wherever he’s ventured in your absence, but it’s no use. A conversation was had while you girls had been in the restroom, and it left Eddie in his head, out of reach. The buds of hopefulness quiver on their vines, and you try to reassure yourself that it’s nothing personal. It’s nothing personal when he clearly holds back any laughs at your jokes you lean into his space to whisper to only him, it’s nothing personal when his arm never rests on the back of your chair again, it’s nothing personal when he won’t meet your eyes the rest of the night.
It’s nothing personal, but it’s sorely disappointing.
You end the night, everyone splitting up, Eddie heading off towards his motorcycle. He hadn’t even mentioned driving a motorcycle during the night, and you curse the way you watch him straddle the seat as he secures his helmet over his tied-back hair. You desperately wish to know what was said while you were in the bathroom, what had happened to make him retreat so far from you after spending the entirety of the night tending to the greenery that had grown attached to your ribcage.
“You like him, don’t you?” Robin teases at your side, bumping shoulders.
Something aches in you. The thrill of meeting someone new, of getting along, of finding them cute and endearing, is beyond your grasp.
He didn’t even say goodbye.
“I did,” you whisper softly. A reverberation of past-tense, an exhale of worry.
You did. But he didn’t even say goodbye.
—
Eddie still hasn’t opened the door. But to his defense, you haven’t tried knocking again.
That ache from that night, the feeling of a delicate rush of possibility taunting you from a distance, still remains. Even amongst now rotted vines, even as petals fall from your hopeful buds. It never really went away. With each group hangout that followed, it echoed louder and louder, demanding to be heard and demanding to be felt as Eddie grew colder. You were an idiot the first few times; you’d still gravitated to him, falling right into his orbit and begging for his attention. You’d still seek him out in every room, craving to find the warmth that had once sparked in his eyes only to find them averted from you entirely. And when you couldn’t take the hint, when you wouldn’t leave him alone when Steve and Robin left you to your own devices at the hangouts, he became mean.
You took it as a joke at first, but six months ago, something inside of you finally wisened up – it wasn’t a joke. Eddie Munson hated you. Somehow, he hated you, and yet he also swore to protect you. He hated you, and yet he would still pay for you without you asking him to. He hated you, and yet he still remembered your birthday. He hated you, and yet, he still knew your favorite coffee shop.
He hated you and yet.
You stand, unable to take your racing thoughts anymore, moving to pound on the door again, “Eddie. Open the door.”
You’re not asking anymore.
You don’t care for answers any more. In this moment, you truly believe you could let it all be water under the bridge. Right this second, if you looked into honey brown eyes and goddamn dimples, you’d forgive him.
“Eddie,” your voice cracks, and you scorn yourself.
All I ever do is hurt you.
Even in locking himself away, he’s hurting you. Putting that distance, choosing to not work this out like adults, is hurting you.
“Can you- I don’t know, at least let me know that… that…” you trail off, huffing in frustration and finally smacking a flat palm against wood, watching the door shake on its hinges from your force, “Just let me know you’re alive, Jesus Christ, Eddie. We still have to take the stupid fucking photo for this hour, and we-”
Mid-tirade, the door swings open to reveal Eddie. He doesn’t look irritated, he doesn’t look mad. He looks tired.
The war between you two has weighed heavy on him, too. He doesn’t look like the same person you met a year ago. The battles raged, the fights lost, the victories celebrated through bloody teeth – they all show on the shadows of his face, a clear mirror image to your own.
“Take the photo,” he says in monotone, hardly leaving the door cracked enough to catch a proper glimpse of him.
“What?”
“The photo. Take it. For the chat, so you can get your money when it’s all over.”
You’re stunned for a second. The money hadn’t even crossed your mind; you had just been rambling, hoping to find the right thing to say to get him to unlock the barrier between you two.
Who the fuck even cares about the money anymore?
You do. You’re supposed to. And so is he.
You sigh and pull your phone from your back pocket, and turn your back to him before lifting the camera to capture the two of you. The door creaks open an inch more.
There’s no fun pose. There’s no smiles. There’s nothing. It’s even more lifeless than the first photo taken. You can’t stand to look at it longer than necessary as you send it off to the group.
Just as you turn around to face him again, to try and talk to him, the door shuts again. You can hear the soft click of a lock. The ache is heard, the ache is felt, as you refuse to look back at the wood that still separates you physically, at the emotions that separate you mentally.
You don’t really know why you do it. But you walk out to the living room, deciding against sitting outside the door any longer and continuing to make yourself miserable. Your feet carry you straight to the sliding door of his balcony, and you press outside into the cooler night air, shutting the door behind you.
What happened when I was in the bathroom that night?
The thought haunts you, a new ghost that had been lingering and gathering dust since that night. You never asked anyone, certainly not Eddie, and refuse to overthink it until now. But after tonight, after practically reliving your first encounter with Eddie all over again, the deja vu and the curiosity are winning over.
You dial Steve’s number.
“Hell-”
“Why do me and Eddie hate each other?” you blurt out, cutting off Steve’s greeting.
“I- What?” Steve’s confused, understandably so, “How should I know? I don’t keep a list of every time you rant about him to me.”
“What about him?”
“Okay, you know I love you, but I’m not a mind-read-”
“What about a list of every time he rants about me?”
Silence buzzes through the line, and you glance up at the night sky. It’s a cloudy black. The city pollution hides most of the stars, and from Eddie’s balcony, you can’t locate the moon.
“I also don’t have one of those.”
“Why not? Because, Jesus Christ, Harrington, I have questions-”
“Because he doesn’t rant about you. Especially not to me, but Nancy says he never talks about you usually either,” Steve explains in an even tone, still not sure how his answer should be helping you. You are the one, afterall, with Eddie right now.
Even if he is locked away in his room right now, refusing to speak to you.
“That makes no sense,” you sigh, exasperation creeping its way into your bones, “I rant about him all the time. I’ve bitched to you and Robin more times than I can count about him. He should be doing the same.”
Steve says your name softly, “Why are you asking me this?”
You laugh humorlessly and shake your head, even knowing Steve can’t see you, “It’s stupid. Forget it,” It’s not stupid to you, and you can’t forget it, but this doesn’t concern Steve, “Can I ask you one last question, though?”
“Shoot, babydoll,” you can’t help but grin at that nickname. Steve pulls it out at random, every time he’s trying to make you feel bad. He knows that neither of you can take it seriously.
“Um, that night you introduced me to everyone,” you begin, stepping up to wrap your free hand around the iron railing of Eddie’s balcony, letting the cold seep into your palm, “At the bar, you know?”
“Right…” he encourages, “What about it?”
“Me and Eddie got along,” you spit it out, letting it tear from your chest and score your throat on its way out, “We… we were getting along at first, and then I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, he…. He…”
He was gone. The Eddie I’d first met had vanished. Where’d he go? Why’d he go?
“Shit, your memory is way better than mine,” Steve chuckles, sounding nervous, “But, I mean, I kind of remember that. You two getting along, at least. Guess that’s why we all were really confused when you started hating each other. But I’m still not understanding the question - are you asking if I remember the night? Or if he’s ever talked about it? I was a jock, you’re gonna have to spell it out for my pea brain.”
“Stop insinuating you’re stupid,” you scold on instinct, scowl settling along your features as you lean onto the railing and glance down. It’s only two stories, but the ground feels impossibly far as you ask, “What happened when all us girls went to the bathroom? When we came back, he acted differently. Did he mention hating me that night? Did I leave a bad first impression? Was it all just a joke to hi-”
“Woah, woah, woah. Slow down. One question, remember?” you’re sure Steve can hear the panting in your breath over the line, the way your chest heaves in the memory, “I’ve gotta be honest - I don’t remember. I know that’s probably not the answer you’re looking for, and I don’t know what’s going on with you two right now, but I was already well on my way to drunk. I think Jonathan and Argyle poked some fun at Eddie, maybe teased him about something, but I really can’t recall what it was about. Maybe his hair? Who knows?”
The answer isn’t helpful. It’s only more confusing, more hurtful.
He stopped joking with you because someone made fun of his hair? You lost access to the warmth buried beneath his surface because his friends teased him?
“Okay,” you sound defeated. You feel defeated – defeated by the weight of still feeling like an outsider, defeated by the barrier of some measly wooden door, defeated by the hurt in Eddie’s eyes as you admitted that he only ever hurts you, “Okay, thanks, Steve.”
You hang up before either of you say goodbye. When you pull your phone down from your cheek and ear, you see your phone still open to the photo of Eddie and you that you’d sent to the group.
You were wrong. There wasn’t only nothing. Your face may have been void of all emotions, but now looking at it, you can see Eddie’s isn’t.
He’s looking at you and not the camera during the shot, face crestfallen, eyes nearly teary as the corners of his mouth tucked downward.
He’s looking at you with regret, with sadness. He’s looking at you as if he can see the vines he’d planted in you, all rotted and dusting away, and he’s mourning them just as you had.
It’s bullshit, or your imagination, or your innate need for Eddie to bleed the same way as you have over your entire situation with each other. You lock your phone and don’t bother to look at the photo again as you enter the living room, as you toss your phone onto the loveseat, as you curl up on the couch and don’t even bother to go to ask for a pillow or blanket. He probably wouldn’t answer the door, anyway.
You don’t say goodnight to Eddie, just as he never said goodbye to you the first night, and wonder if he notices the absence of your salutation.
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#eddie munson#twenty four hours#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson fic#eddie munson x y/n#feels so short of a chapter haha#angsty babes
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its being sad about 49/51 again hours. right before the oldest dream reveal, you think maybe this is the time kim dokja is gonna stay, that he's finally realised his importance to his companions and understood than their happiness is contingent on his. the oldest dream reveal absolutely blows this up, but still, the idea that kim dokja's companions need him for their epilogue has been pretty firmly planted. kim dokja knows that he is loved.
unfortunately, he still doesn't know that he is loved in entirety. he thinks he's somehow tricked his companions into caring about some parts of him, and they can be content with just that. he has no idea that they love the parts of him he hates, too - he cannot fathom that han sooyoung's epilogue does not just include him but includes him reading her work, getting overly invested in various shit webnovels, nagging her for updates whenever he can. he has no idea that yoo joonghyuk's epilogue doesn't just include them sharing a homecooked meal, but includes yoo joonghyuk cooking kim dokja his own small batch without any tomatoes in it, so he won't have to pick them out. all of kimcom wants all of him, but even after 500 chapters he's barely understood the fact they want some. so he splits himself almost down the middle - calling himself selfish for keeping some of his love for his companions as if han sooyoung isn't going to start an apocalypse for him in 13 years/13 years ago - and gives the parts he likes the most to kimcom. leaving the parts that kimcom loves not in-spite of their disagreeable nature but because of them to rot.
#kim dokja you miserable miserable wet sock of a man#i need to kill him#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint
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Object of Your Pursuit (Chapter 1)
Armand x gn! Reader (no y/n used)
Warnings: descriptions of death, suicide ideation
Armand strode into the bar. He knew he would gain nothing from being here. No human food or drink could ever quench him, but he chose to be here to escape his own thoughts of what went down just a few days prior. A 77 year long relationship torn apart in a matter of days by the first person who ever saw him for who he was. The 500 year old vampire had never been found out so fast, had never been found out ever even by himself. Louis was right, Daniel Molloy truly was as fascinating as he made him out to be.
Daniel, his fledgling. Armand never intended to make another vampire, but Daniel was different. And now he was being tracked down by him.
He sat in the corner of the crowded room as he thought about how things would play out. Maybe he’d just let Daniel kill him; 500 years was a long enough life. He never found anyone who had any interest in sticking around so why wait around any longer?
Armand was there for hours watching the people pile in and out of the building, the chatter never dying down. A rowdy bachelor party that would grow to regret their decision to drink so much the night before, a girl crying in the bathroom being comforted by her best friend over a breakup that truly will benefit her down the road, a man face down at a table, dead to the world having drank himself into unconsciousness rather than face the things that scare him, different people with different lives yet not at all breaking any molds.
They were all so boring. He winced at the word– boring. Maybe the most hurtful of insults he ever received from the man he loved. Armand was the only one who remembers that night so vividly, by his own fault of course. He can’t even claim that he thought what he was doing was right, he knew of the monumental fuck ups he committed and how they’d likely come back to bite him but he still did them. Lied to Louis, took credit for Lestat’s actions, tortured Daniel, manipulated people time and time again for his own benefit. He couldn’t tell if he was sorry for doing it or just sorry he was caught but now he sit here alone and still like a statue waiting to figure out his next steps.
The doors of the bar slammed open again, a gust of wind blowing through the bar giving a slight break from the man-made humidity indoors. A group of college students filing in talking of their upcoming exams, truly nothing groundbreaking. Complaints of a professor, what pages to study, blah blah and more never ending blah.
But finally something caught the ancient one’s eye, one of the students looked just as agonizingly bored as he felt. He entered their mind for only a second before feeling the thoughts wash over him.
They were thinking of a clock, counting the seconds until they were away from this group, this town, the school, everything. Nothing was keeping their interest and they were sick to death of it.
Sick to death, Armand thought to himself. It had been a time since he last hunted and a burnt out student would be quite easy prey, already halfway lured into wanting some long awaited rest. Normally he enjoyed a bit of a challenge but at his age, finding someone to drain wasn’t exactly difficult. He had sat there for hours with the senseless musings of humanity droning through his mind, he deserved an easy end to his night.
He stared at them, willing them to turn and lock eyes.
“Come to me.” The words were smooth as they slithered their way into the ear of his prey. “Come to me.” The words he projected into Lestat’s mind so many years ago.
The student turned feeling his breath on their neck, the words so clearly spoken and meant for them. They expected him to be just an arms length away as they turned but were intrigued to find the apparent speaker of the command across the bar with an intense stare.
They broke from their group, a muttered excuse of needing to go that was paid no attention. Slowly, they made their way through the crowded room brushing shoulders with people who each smelled of a different type of alcohol that burned their nose. Their eyes never leaving the fire like irises of the vampire, they approached his table and stared down at him.
“Mind if I sit?”
Armand wordlessly nodded his head at the chair in front of him. They sat and absentmindedly swished their half empty drink around in its cup. Their eyes met again waiting for the other to strike up a conversation. Armand straightened in his seat realizing they had no intention of speaking first.
“You’re bored.”
“Yeah?” they looked at him puzzled, “It’s a Thursday night at a bar in a college town, what’s interesting about that?”
“Not just tonight. You’re bored in general,” he said with a face devoid of emotion. This wasn’t an assumption. He just knew.
“Maybe, but you’re certainly not adding any entertainment factor,” they spoke, ready to walk away from this strange man completely.
“I can offer you something that might add to it though. It might interest you to–”
They cut him off, “I’m not gonna hook up with you.”
“That wasn’t what I was offering, though I’m flattered you at least thought about it,” his stoney face finally broke into a smirk. “What I was going to say is that it might interest you to at least listen to and consider my proposal.”
The student growing from bored to frustrated at his conversational pacing motioned for him to continue.
“I have a, let’s say ‘hobby’, of tracking people down. It keeps things interesting for me at my advanced age,” he chuckled to himself. “Would you be interested perhaps in being my object of pursuit tonight?”
“Your object of pursuit?” they laughed at his wording while rolling their eyes, “I already told you I’m not interested in hooking up with you.”
“Like I told you, that’s not my intention.”
“Then what exactly is your intention and why the hell would I wanna be apart of any of this?”
“I could offer you whatever amount of money you needed to live comfortably, more than comfortably, for the rest of your life. All you would have to do is make it to a location of my choosing before sunrise,” he reasoned as if this was an everyday occurrence for him.
“You’d give me money for you to hunt me down?,” they asked incredulously. “But only if I make it to wherever by morning; and what exactly happens if I don’t make it there?”
Armand raised an eyebrow at them, making it out like the answer was quite obvious. His eyes felt like razor blades cutting into them from across the table.
Every joke they could’ve made in that moment suddenly fled from their mind realizing exactly what he was inferring. “You’ll kill me.”
“Only if I catch you.”
The stuffy bar felt cold and suffocating in an instant, like all the air was sucked out of the room and all that was left was the two of them in a standoff waiting for the next move; the younger of the two discovering just how much danger they were in.
The thought sobered them immediately. They were sat across from a killer. The way he spoke of this plan it seemed this was far from his first time making the proposal. His words popped in their head. “At my advanced age,” their eyes scanned his face in confusion. He couldn’t be more than thirty years old, but his eyes are what gave it away; he was much much older than he seemed. The glowing irises clued them in that who– what was sitting across from them was not entirely human. It terrified them to their core that they didn’t immediately jump away from the horror that was this man but he was right, they were bored out of their absolute mind of life. This offer ended in two possible outcomes; they make it to where he tells them to go and they live out their life in the lap of luxury or they die. And they felt sick to their stomach that they actually found excitement in it all; years of the mundane ended, the first sense of twisted joy they’ve felt in recent memory and its the offer of being hunted like a wild animal by this creature.
Armand watched the gears turn in their head, watched as they rolled the idea and all its potential. He slipped into their mind to see their thoughts race a thousand miles per hour until everything became clear. They would accept.
“Where do I need to go?”
He smiled warmly at them as if he wasn’t planning their death as they spoke. “There’s a church about 5 miles west of here called Saint Mary’s, no vehicles allowed; it takes the fun out of it for me.”
5 miles. He expected them to not even make it five miles before he killed them. The realization was grim but they shook his hand before standing, “I take it I’m not allowed to tell my friends I could potentially be gruesomely murdered tonight?”
“It would certainly complicate things for me, but it’s nothing I couldn’t handle quite quickly. I’ll even give you a five minute head start,” he said smugly before making a shooing motion with his hand, “the clock’s already started.”
They approached their friends rigidly saying their quick farewells for the night, a half assed excuse made about needing to wake up early the next morning. As they exited the bar they threw a single look over their shoulder, noticing his eyes never left them for a second; a shiver wracked their body as they headed into the cool atmosphere of a quickly emptying street.
They pulled up the address and directions to the church on their phone with shakey hands, their heart was pounding but despite the lump in their throat they couldn’t bring the tears to their eyes. Adrenaline was coursing through their veins and yet they weren’t upset at the prospect of dying. The student squared their shoulders and began a quick pace towards their location.
A five minute head start, Armand thought it was hilarious. He could give them an hour head start and would still catch them. Obviously he wouldn’t but he was at least generous enough to wait twenty before standing from his chair and making his way to the street. A dreadfully bored college student is easy prey but even if he wanted a simple hunt he’s never had an issue with playing with his food.
Within minutes he was caught up to the student, staying far enough away and concealed to the shadows that they wouldn’t notice. He expected slight terror, maybe some sniveling at the prospect of death, a full sprint even; adrenaline makes humans do funny things. But no, none of that when he showed up, not any of those things. He had noticed they were bored but he never predicted they would react so– odd? The two were in a park, about three miles from the church, they had made it a good distance in the time he had given them. There was no panic, they were listening to music through a pair of headphones. It was two o’clock in the morning in a park lit only by the occasional street lamp, they weren’t worried about a vampire brutally murdering them; they didn’t even seem to worry that being so unaware of their surroundings at such a time could get them killed by a random stranger.
Armand scoffed to himself. Were they not taking this seriously at all? They were at a bridge that overlooked a small stream when they stopped. He looked into their thoughts, preparing himself to be offended by this human’s apparent stupidity. They were stopping to admire how the lights bounced off the water– while a murderous creature was after them, while he was after them. The next thought is what caught him off guard though. They were thinking about how if they died tonight they left behind no real regrets; they had nothing to quite look forward to in their future. He saw they had a general disinterest in life but never suspected them to be suicidal, though most humans even when suicidal have some sense of yearning for life; this simply did not appear in the student’s head. There was no sense of hopelessness; just apathy, a preparedness for death should it come to them.
It hit him at that moment, they felt the same way he did following his separation from Louis. A feeble minded human potentially understanding the depth of vampiric loneliness? He shook the thought from his head walking away from the scene, he was simply overthinking things. This night would only end one way; he would feed on and kill them and move on with his life once again.
It was another hour before they finally approached the church. They hadn’t seen him the entire night and considered that maybe it was just some weird scare tactic. Maybe they weren’t actually being hunted for sport by some otherworldly creature disguising himself as man. They wandered up the street seeing steeple up ahead, just a few hundred feet before they were guaranteed safety. For a moment, hope swelled in their chest; they could actually succeed at something. That moment all but vanished seeing a figure standing in the shadowed doorway; it was him. The air left their body knowing this would be the end. Their feet began to drag as they walked towards the man. How did he get here so fast?
Armand’s eyes followed the student. He saw the minuscule glint in their eye thinking they had made it disappear in an instant. It would’ve brought him joy in any other situation, but for some reason now it just made him feel a bit guilty.
“So I didn’t make it in time,” they shrugged apathetically.
“No. You didn’t.”
The two were at a standstill across from one another. The older of them looking at the other with a sense of curiosity.
“You aren’t going to beg for your life?”
They shrugged, “I knew the terms of the deal, I didn’t get here before you did. I’m gonna die, that was what you said would happen.”
Armand was met with a wave of conflicting emotions; it was so rare for him to spare a human life, and never if it didn’t benefit him somehow. Allowing them to live offered him no advantage by any stretch of the imagination and yet he found himself moving aside and motioning for the student to pass him. They stared at him in confusion.
“What are you doing?”
“I haven’t touched the door yet so I suppose I’m not technically here.”
They held his stare as they walked past him and placed their palm on the door. “Does this mean you won’t kill me?”
He nodded already parting ways with the student, waving his hand dismissively, “I’ll see to it that the money is wired into your account, I’ve already got all your details so don’t worry about it.”
They stood there on the steps to the church speechless. What had changed since the beginning of the night? Before they had left the bar he seemed more than ready to kill them without so much as a second thought. They didn’t want to die but it left them with an overwhelming sense of frustration; who the hell was he? What the hell was his problem? They had half a mind to chase him down and demand these answers but by the time they had processed what had just happened he had disappeared into the darkness of the night without a single trace.
The following night, Armand was on the hunt again; tonight’s menu was a drunkard with an ego even bigger than his bar tab. He had no issue with this one, the man learned very quickly that this was to be taken seriously and was currently sprinting to his destination after Armand played a few mind tricks on him to raise the adrenaline. The vampire was waiting for a single mistake before he finally stepped in and was granted that wish as he watched the man trip over a curb, sprawled out over the sidewalk. Armand stepped out of the shadows next to him, making the man scramble away repeatedly failing to get to his feet.
“You were so close, a mile away and you would’ve made it,” Armand pouted mockingly. “You know the deal.”
The man was drunkenly sobbing, begging for his life as the creature before him stared him down apathetically. “Please, God, please. I don’t wanna die. If this is a message that I should clean myself up, I’ll do it. I’ll fix everything, please just don’t kill me, I’ll do anything. Just God, please!”
He sneered downwards. “God has nothing to do with this.” He spat, “You made your decision, you will die tonight by my hand.”
Terrified, the man finally made it to his feet and turned to run only to be grabbed by the collar and thrown into a nearby alley by Armand. He was effortlessly lifted by the 500 year old being, fangs sinking into his carotid.
Armand drank deeply from the man, his blood bitter with alcohol. It would have to do after the previous night’s happenings. The alcoholic’s heart slowed and he dropped his body waiting for it to come to a full stop. He was still haunted by that student unable to push them from his thoughts; who were they to occupy his own?
He quickly disposed of the body; he threw it in a dumpster, taking no care and breaking as many bones as needed to shove the limbs under piles of garbage. It was careless but the humans would likely write it off as another unsolved murder, no real suspicions had as long as he didn’t make a habit of this. He’s sure he would’ve taken more care if his mind wasn’t reeling thinking only of them. He was wandering the streets mindlessly having no true destination in mind. The sun would be up in a few hours, he should probably figure out where he is and find his way back to his coffin before sunrise. When he looked up he found himself in a residential part of the city, a place he’d never been before but around him he caught a familiar scent.
Armand rolled his eyes. Of course he would end up mindlessly wandering here. It was the scent of them. The apartments around him were all run down; fire escapes nearly coming off the sides of the buildings, iron bars over windows, sidewalks poorly paved and overgrown with weeds. He found himself calling out to them with the same words he had used the night before, “Come to me.”
Five minutes of prodding at their mind, summoning the student, a door to his left swung open. There they stood, in a frumpy pair of pajamas looking irritated at his presence.
“Decide you actually wanna kill me?” they jeered sarcastically.
“No, I spared you last night and I intend on sticking with that decision. I was just–” he paused, “in the area.”
They shifted their weight uncomfortably from side to side before making a decision, “Well if you wanna keep talking to me can we at least bring it inside; I don’t love wearing my pj’s in the street.”
He nodded before following them into the building up to their apartment. As he entered he noticed the inside was just as worn as the outside, albeit the decor added a bit of warmth to the room. It wasn’t highbrow interior design by any stretch of the imagination but it was lived in, something that could never be recreated by anyone else. Homemade blankets were strewn across a couch that had a few holes speckled over its fabric, the television was set to some random show on low volume, pictures framed on the wall some containing humans that the student seemed to care about, other just different pieces of art that they had collected over their time in this town. It was undeniably them.
They stared at him as he surveyed the room, silence overtook them for a full minute before he spoke. “This is where you live?”
Their eyebrow raised, “Yeah? I’ve lived here since I started college.”
“Are you going to get a new apartment with the money I gave you?”
They snorted, “Why? Are you planning on dropping by?”
His face was stone. Ignoring their quip, “Well now you can afford better, wouldn’t you want to live somewhere that isn’t so–” he chose his next words carefully so as to not offend them, “neglected.”
The student blinked, having not even considered the possibility of moving. “I mean, I guess I could. But I don’t think I will if I’m being completely honest.”
“You enjoy living here? Like this?”
“Well, a nicer place wouldn’t have my favorite sandwich shop up the street.” They laughed before thinking hard, “And just because I have money doesn’t necessarily mean I wanna completely change my lifestyle. I quit my job and paid off my student loans which is great since I don’t have to worry about those things anymore, but I don’t think buying into a luxurious lifestyle is gonna make me happy.”
“But you can buy whatever you want– do whatever you want.”
“Yeah, but money isn’t gonna buy me friends who care about me. Money won’t buy a family that isn’t constantly hovering, wondering how I’m doing since I moved three states away. I moved away specifically because of how bad they hovered and it still hasn’t stopped them. The government sucks, I’m stressed all the time, I don’t know if I’m happy with what I’m majoring in at college. Turning a hobby into a degree has taken all the joy out of what I once loved and I’m not even guaranteed a job once I get that degree. Money can buy comfort but it sure as hell won’t buy me happiness!” The words tumbled out of their mouth, their breath accelerated and tears came to their eyes. They groaned, bringing their hands to their face. “I’m sorry, that was a lot. I just don’t like thinking too hard about the future.”
Armand stood there stunned. They were right, in a very human way they were completely right. He was beyond rich and yet he also couldn’t achieve the happiness he had always yearned for. For the second time he was shocked that they had understood his exact issues. Who were they? Before he could think through his request, the words were blurted from his mouth, “Could I see you again?”
Read Chapter 2 Here
#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#armand#the vampire armand#armand x reader#the vampire armand x reader
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Do I Wanna Know?
Summary:John has blood on his hands, just as much as you did. But this was something different. He has his secret, just as much as you did in your line of work. But this was different, he has committed a war crime and the blood on his hands was something you held along your bloodied own.. Character: John Price x F!Wife!Reader. Word Count: 1,209 Chapter Warnings: Mention of Murder. Mention of Kidnapping and trauma associated with it. Mention of Survivor's guilt. Price is just a bb boi here that needs a lots of hugs and kisses. AU. Soap is alive here, but was hospitalized from the encounter.
Based on this ask:
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John Price was a lot of things. But to this day, he would have never thought he would murder a man without an order of anyone but for his own intentions. He had blood on his hands and there were only two individuals that knew.
Laswell that had orchestrated his ability to be in the man’s office. She who had ensured that he would do his deeds and leave without anyone knowing otherwise. Laswell knew what it meant to him, how John had to fight tooth and nail with the guilt of almost losing Soap because of the mission with Makarov. It was inevitable that he had to do this, he had to kill Shepard if he wanted to ensure the safety of everyone he cares for.
Then there was you, his wife, and his most trusted partner. He could do no wrong in your eyes. How even in your hesitation for the plan he and Laswell had devised had trusted him that it would not be placed back on him when the fire begins to spread. You trusted him even when you knew it was not the right thing to do.
“Hi,” He slipped back to your shared home.
You were in your pajamas tonight, with your daughter asleep on your lap and your son cradled in your arms fighting the last ounce of strength to keep awake. He could see the tiredness in your eyes but there was a darkness in your eyes that seemed to consume you as you looked at him.
“John.”
He gave a quick nod, kissing you at the top of your head but refused to touch you just yet. He feared the metaphorical blood still in his hands needed to be washed. He refused to hold onto you or his children when it painted him still. He refused to soil the very reason why he did what he had to do.
Walking upstairs to your shared bedroom, he shed himself of his clothes, refusing to place them in the hamper as the fire place would be a better end to them. He stood bare in his own bathroom, his eyes glued onto the mirror to the sight of him. Worn and torn by the war, never hesitant to pull the trigger if it means the mission is done and over with. How it had been so easy to pull the trigger and kill Shepard. It truly scared him, what he was able to do and even if he knew it was for the greater good.
He killed a man. It wasn’t accidental, it was not in the fields nor was it due to self-defense. He murdered a man in cold blood and as the night grows on, the guilt was coming at him with full force.
How the actions—or lack thereof had become a domino effect that he was trying his best to clean up, to pick the pieces back up and move on. He should have allowed Soap to kill Makarov all those years ago. He should have never trusted someone like Graves to be involved with his team. He should have never placed you in his taskforce.
All his actions led to where he stood now. A broken man that never knew what it felt like to be this broken until he looked at the mirror. How the tears came in floods, consuming him from the inside out. He was pathetic. A captain that could not even ensure the safety of his own team.
“John.”
He turned and he did not bother to wipe away the tears as he looked at you. He was wrapped in your arms as his sobs grew louder. He was weeping for the pain and torment his actions has caused you and every single one of his team.
Soap was barely alive. You had closely escaped death from being held captive. The world was almost about to begin world war three. Everything was going to shit and he genuinely did not know what he could do to stop it all.
“It’s okay. I’m here.” You reassured stripping yourself of your clothes and pulling him into the shower.
The cold spray brought a deep shiver down his spine as it finally hit his skin. Standing in the middle of the shower, you had allowed him to wrap his arms around you as he continued to sob. All the pain of everything in his life slowly faded away as he held you in his arms.
Slowly as the tears no longer feel and he was hiccupping, you pulled away with tears in your own eyes. Your hands gently wiped the water on his face and kissed him in the cheeks and nuzzling your face against the crook of his neck.
“You did the right thing.” You assured him. “It was for the better.” You continued as you began to wash him.
Your movement was gentle—loving. You washed him with so much gentleness that he knew all too well that he didn’t deserve. He never deserved your love anymore after what he had put your through.
“Do you want to talk about it?” You asked him, lathering your palms with the shower gel.
“Do you want to know?” He quipped right back.
“If you want to me to know, I am more than willing to carry the weight with you, John.”
“I don’t deserve you.” He whispered holding onto your hands.
How bloodied and battered his hand was so easily cleansed by your touch. He held onto your own, intertwining them together as he pulled you in for a kiss. All the memory of the last few months momentarily faded away in your arms.
~
“I finally did it.” John spoke as he laid in bed with you in his arms.
All you could do was nod realizing what that had meant, what it would finally mean after all was said and done.
“Who knows what you did?” You inquired for a moment fearing the aftermath when all was said and done.
“You and Laswell. No one more.”
You nodded, wrapping your arms around him. Hands rubbing against his naked skin. You felt the goose bumps litter his skin from the memory more than from your touch. You know what had caused this, knew what it was for the best.
“Johnny’s finally awake.” You whispered to him, with him finally pulling away from a moment to look at you and the tears of relief flooded him.
“That’s—that’s good to hear. How’s he holding up?”
“His head hurts and making sure Simon’s head is too while he’s looking after him.”
You hoped that even just a glimpse of good news would appease him and the guilt that weighed so heavily on his shoulders.
“I’m glad…” He trailed off, moving his body until his head nestled against the plush flesh of your chest. “I’m so glad…”
Slowly you had felt his breathing slowly calm as his grasp around you slowly loosen. You laid still from where you laid hoping that in this moment everything would finally go back for the better. For your husband’s sake and for the rest of the team that was now ghosted by everything that had anything to do with Makarov and Shepard.
#John Price One Shots#John Price Oneshot#John Price Oneshots#john price headcanon#John Price x reader#john price x female reader#John price x wife! reader#captain price x reader#john price x reader#cod fanfic#cod x reader#cod mw x reader#captain price#call of duty#fanfic#x reader#female reader#captain john price x reader#captain john price#captain price x you#john price#john price x you#captain price x female reader#john price angst
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