#julek speaks

[inthebrainofalamb]

had my first shift at work today from 4pm to 1am and i swear i lost my mind cuz i kept getting horny about a mannequin that slightly reminded me of my girlfriend

[inthebrainofalamb]

kicking my feel and giggling i love my girlfriend guys

how am i supposed to be normal throughout my day when my partner write me poems and makes me feel like i am worthy of love ????

[islenthatur]

The air was thick with tension as they all filed into the briefing room, Calanthe’s eyes hard and unwavering as usual as she waited for us. Vesemir was standing at the window, back to them all but Geralt could see his Chief’s eyes in the glass and it set him on edge.

Eskel pushed past him and dropped into the only free chair, knowing full well Geralt would take his usual spot in the corner.

“Vesemir, if you would.” Calanthe gestured as she began to look at them all.

Vesemir nodded and with a simple flick of his hand Yrden flickered across all windows and doors, followed by Quen. Geralt felt his hackles rise, the last time Vesemir did this on a briefing shit went down and Lambert nearly put a hole in the wall in his rage.

“The mission I am about to brief you in will be different, firstly we are getting a recruit for this only, borrowed from Sigmond for the duration…”

Lambert slammed his fist on the table in fury, snarl ripping from his throat. “The last fucking time we had a new recruit we almost tied, Kitty nearly lost his eye and… and…”

All eyes shot to Geralt who had tensed, his hands grasping the daggers at his chest with a knuckle-white grip. The last time they had a borrowed recruit was over a year ago and the fuckers incompetence caused one of the worst moments of Geralt’s life. Most nights he could still feel the fire at his back, small hands shoving him hard out the window as the building exploded… he could still hear the sickening cracks of bone, the wide terrified eyes of his Buttercup before being engulfing in the crumbling building and fire.

And all he could think of Jaskier watching his face twist in horror as his mask broke and fell away.

It took his brothers and Yen to not murder Marx; it took Ciri crying into his chest to even stay.

That was the last time he allowed anyone close, allowed anyone to see his face at all.

“We lost Buttercup.” Eskel uttered dark after a beat of uncomfortable silence when he realised Geralt would not, could not speak.

“I am aware what happened but this one was trained by Captain Pankratz.” Calanthe stated as she pulled up a file, showing one Essie ‘Little Eye’ Daven. Specialist in infiltration, hacking and language much like Julek was and Geralt knew without a doubt that the woman would be exactly as good as her file reads. He had met her once, long ago when Jaskier and he first met. She was competent, well trained and very much a beloved Sister of Julek.

Swallowing Geralt tilted his head forward. “Why is Little Eye joining us?”

Dark eyes locked onto him but it was Vesemir’s sudden appearance at his side that set the hairs on the back of Geralt’s neck standing up. There was tension around his eyes, mouth turned down in a grim expression.

“This was taken two days ago in one of Nilfgaard’s bunkers in Tir Torchair.” Calanthe stated soft, very much unlike her and it drew Geralt’s eyes away from Vesemir to the image now on the screen.

It was blurry, shot through a drone or satellite but his breath hitched as he saw the familiar man before him. There was no way to mistake Jaskier, he had spent far too long watching him and in the mans presence well before they became lovers. Though the image was grainy, those blue eyes stood out from the dark bruises, piercing and very much alive.

“What the fuck!” Geralt snarled fury the likes he hadn’t felt in an age burning under his skin like Igni.

[hudine]

Well onto part 4 of my still nameless fic. Right now I’m just kinda posting to tumblr as I write.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

They made it into the mountains following hoof prints when they got jumped by a sylvan and a couple of elves. They came too tied up together in a cave.

“This is the part where we escape?” Jaskier asked as he worked on getting his hands free.

“This is the part where we die,” Geralt replied sardonically.

“Filthy humans,” one of the elves said and hit Jaskier.

“Leave him alone! He’s just a bard!” Geralt exclaimed and managed to head but the elf.

“No not the lute!” Jaskier yelled too late as the other elf smashed it. Jaskier was about to yell at them in elder when a familiar elf joined them in the cave and Jaskier groaned.

“Well, well, what do we have here?” He asked lips turned upwards.

“Just a couple humans. We should kill them before they bring others,” the female elf who had hit Jaskier proclaimed.

“They’re not human. Not entirely anyway. Are you blind as well as sick? He’s not only half fae, he’s also a prince. That’s Prince Julek of the Springtime Seelie Court. Considering they just agreed to take us in I don’t think killing one of the Queen’s children will endear us to my aunt any,” the new elf replied, “Hello cousin. You seem to get yourself in some of the most interesting situations.”

“Filavandrel. Well met. I’d give a proper bow but I’m a little tied up at the moment,” Jaskier replied amiably.

“So I see,” Filavandrel said trying not to laugh at the situation. He knew his cousin could get out of that if he really wanted to. “So who’s your friend?”

“Filavandrel, this is Geralt of Rivia, Witcher of the wolf school and childhood friend of mine. Geralt this is Filavandrel the last High King of the Elves. Also my first cousin. He’s he’s fae on his mother’s side which is actually rather common in Elvish royalty. His mother and my mother were sisters.”

“A pleasure to meet you your majesty. I’d also bow but am also a little tied up right now,” Geralt greeted.

Filavandrel let out a snort of laughter. “No you wouldn’t. You’re a Witcher. You’re also one of Vesemir’s pups. I have no doubt he’s taught you that Witchers are neutral and bow to no kings.”

“Yes well, Vesemir no doubt also tried his best to teach the pup manners and he’s trying to be polite,” A new voice spoke up followed by another man who looked a lot more like Filavandrel, only he had eyes that glowed more unnaturally blue and his ears wasn’t quite as pointed.

“Fuck,” Jaskier swore when he saw the second man, “I’m not going back Blaze!”

“Well I guess this answers the question of where you ran off to Jules. Is that Eric you got with you?”

Geralt grumbled a bit before speaking up, “It’s Geralt not Eric. Hasn’t been for a long time.”

“Oh yes, that’s right. Vesemir made you change your name before you could leave the keep. I don’t know why Witcher’s insist on changing their names before going off on the path the first time. While yes it is true that names have power, knowing one’s true name isn’t some sort of spell to compel people into doing things. I swear humans come up with some of the strangest rumours about my species.”

“They don’t all change their names. Although I suspect that old wives tale has a lot to do with why. I personally prefer to think of it like the old Shobogan tradition dating back to before they where fae, you change your name as a promise to who you are and/or want to be now because you have outgrown your old name,” Jaskier explained.

“Is that why you’ve been insisting on going by Jaskier?” Geralt asked, genuinely curious. “Who are the Shobogan anyway?”

“Yes, the other reason doesn’t matter since my cover has been blown. Shobogan is the name of our subspecies within the fae… lot of people just refer to us as royal fae but once the fae was a huge federation spanning many spheres with lots of different races. It’s why I’m considered fae even though I’m technically only half, it’s because I’m a citizen in the ruminants of that federation. Or species like that sylvan we tracked up here, or dryads for example are also considered fae. The elves first thought the humans where a subspecies of fae because they look a lot like the shobogan. Main difference between the two being our second heart and eyes.”

“You’re telling this Witcher our secrets!” The sylvan shouted, incensed.

“I didn’t go through the trail of the grasses, nor the tail of dreams. Never needed to. I did go through the rest. I’m technically also a Witcher,”Jaskier said as he broke out of the ropes binding them.

“Yes, very dramatic brother. We all know you worked your hands free ages ago and could break free at any time,” Blaze stated, rolling his eyes.

“Yes well. Had to find the best time for melodrama. I wouldn’t be me otherwise.”

“Yes well now I’ve found you that saves me a trip to Kaer Morhen to look for you,” Blaze stated.

“I’ve not had the courage to go there yet,” Jaskier confessed.

Blaze continued as if he said nothing, “Now the question is where is Valdo? He’s obviously not with you.”

“Who?” Geralt asked.

“Valdo Marx. My nephew. Sister’s youngest, the same age as me,” Jaskier clarified.

“And those two have been practically inseparable since he arrived back in our realm after the sacking. Have you seen him? He’s about this high.” Blaze held his hand up to indicate how high. “doesn’t actually look like he’s related because he’s got his father’s dark complexion and thick curly black hair which he wore short last I saw him, and has a thing on his face he thinks is a beard and moustache but really can’t grow one properly yet.”

“No, not seen anyone like that,” Geralt answered.

“I got no idea where Valdo ran off to. I didn’t even know he was missing, besides even if I did know I’m not going to tell you,” Jaskier added, “one of us needs to get out of court at least.”

“I’m not dragging you back to mother. I’m way too busy. Finally talked Filavandrel into bringing his people to our lands. Better to loose pride than be dead.”

“We’re resorting to stealing grain laced with iron from the humans. It seems we really need to move sooner rather than later if they’ve resorted to sending a Witcher up here. It won’t be long before they come looking themselves and probably in large numbers. We’re starving and sick. That’s not a fight we can win. The question is if we can get everyone out by then,” Filavandrel speculated.

“It will take a while to move so many,” Jaskier acknowledged, “Geralt… yes I have heard about the whole Blaviken incident. No I don’t believe you wholesale slaughtered anyone without reason. I know you. That’s not who you are. You don’t have to talk about it. I only bring it up because I have an idea but it does lean into that reputation a bit.”

“What?” Geralt asked, just knowing he was probably going to regret asking.

“Well you know how I can convince people of just about anything if I sing about it?”

“The frost trolls still ask if you are ever going to come back and preform for them after you got us all up the mountain that way,” Geralt replied ruefully.

“What if I make a song that makes people think you got rid of all the elves around here. By the time anyone thinks to look they’ll be long gone.”

“Sure, if you get people to start paying what they owe me while your at it,” Geralt agrees with obvious sarcasm.

“You know you just guaranteed it will make it across the continent and be sung in taverns for the next hundred years, right? You don’t tempt fate like that. She loves irony,” Blaze stated more than asked.

“You’ll need a new lute. I have one laying around doing nothing that belonged to my mother. Got to add to that irony after all,” Filavandrel added.

@xxx|}::::::::::::::::::::> <::::::::::::::::::::{|xxx@

[tomasens]

Your thoughts on Fanfik the movie make me wonder what exactly is going on in the book(s?), lol sadly I don't speak polish. I've read some reviews saying the plot was rushed and simplified, but none quite so negative

Hi!! The English post about Fanfik was a jokey parody of a Will Wood post (I assume that's the post you saw!!) haha, my thoughts are still negative but not that... Dramatic ahahah, thank you for asking though and I'll try to explain my biggest gripes with the movie in a (hopefully) comprehensive way since it's 1 am here and I am Big Tired (finals season is starting this week and I am struggling ahhh)

I will discuss only the first book since the movie is only based on it btw‼️

I wanted to like this movie so bad, especially that Fanfik was a book that made me realize that I am not cis myself. I had very high hopes for the movie, especially that they hired a trans actor to play Tosiek! Like! Woah! But of course it couldn't have been good because FUCK YOU JULEK, YOU'RE DOOMED TO NEVER GET GOOD ADAPTATIONS OF YOUR FAVORITE BOOKS!

My biggest issue is that the movie GREATLY oversimplified the social commentary of the book. It involves a regular, dingy polish highschool that is basically a symbolic miniature of the polish public and its largely homophobic and otherwise generally xenophobic tendencies. The movie takes that idea and throws it out the window completely, making the school a lovely, clean and shiny private school (i don't remember if it's stated it's a private school but you can definitely TELL. No polish public highschool is like this. Trust me. And even if there are public schools like that, they're well funded and still don't deal with the same problems as regular schools do). Not only that, but the story's setting (for some unknown reason?? Genuinely I don't understand this choice) is changed from Poznań to the capital, Warszawa and I really hate that since Poznań is a symbol of the more progressive parts of Poland and using it as the setting furthered the ideas about how even the progressive parts of our (polish) society still need work. It could be me looking to deeply into the symbolism though - even then, I don't understand the change. Also, Leon lives in an extremely nice place - in the book his place was, again, dingy, cramped, he was barely getting by in general. These weird choices destroy the mature social commentary the book has to offer and it sucks! :/

Another big issue are the HORRIBLE writing choices and the oversimplification of every. Fucking. Character. I do not have the energy to discuss everyone, so I'll just focus on Tosiek and Leon, plus their relationship.

Tosiek. Oh god. He is not complicated and interesting like in the book, he's a douche. His drug habits are mentioned but quickly forgotten, the fanfic writing aspect is generally abandoned for most of the movie, his character is mean and dicky but because the movie refuses to give him actual problems he looks like a spoiled, whining rich kid. His only problem seems to be his relationship with his father but it isn't explored well enough for the audience to sympathize or at least understand Tosiek's stance. His transness is also flattened, like, to the point that it's comedic to me. I know some people did just. Put on boy clothes once and were like "oh I'm a guy cool" but if we're adapting a story of a character who is definitely NOT like that... Maybe we shouldn't present his trans journey as that simple.

Leon. Oh GOD. Leon is also a douche and that HURTS. He doesn't really face any meaningful consequences for wanting to use Tosiek as a beard when the dude was still girlmoding without telling him (asshole move btw. Like bro had no actual reason to do that he was just being a dick), he generally doesn't face any consequences, his character is boring, and when it's not boring it's rage inducing because like. Tosiek is a fucking asshole but I don't think movie Leon deserves even that guy. He's not a flawed person, he's one dimensional with a bunch of holes in him. Also please stop teaching ur boyfriend how to burp i am eating /j

Their relationship becomes the core of the story which is awful - the book focuses on Tosiek slowly coming to terms with his gender identity, on him trying to find new ways to cope, with him discovering things about his past (shown to him not by his father like in the movie but by the greatest character of all, his aunt, who was cut for... Time's sake I guess? Which is such a big fucking loss), with him learning to love himself. His relationship with Leon is slow, they're friends at first, they slowly, gradually develop feelings for each other, but Tosiek's feelings for Leon are only an excuse for the narrative to study his relationship with gender even more. Their attraction is shown at first by touches, by brushes of hands, not by KISSING. 20 MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE. Sorry I cannot get over it, 20 MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE. and 25 minutes into the movie Tosiek is sure of his gender identity completely and never questions it ever again because it would get in the way of The Cute Gay Romance. Like, the movie could be about Tosiek being a cis gay dude and experiencing homophobia and it would still make sense without changing barley anything - that's not a good trans story in general, but especially if you have such great, introspective source material ffs!

In conclusion, the movie got Netflix'd and Americanized - everything about it is devoid of the inherent polish...ness that was present in the book, the movie truly could've been written about some guy in Connecticut and it would be THE EXACT SAME, which sucks since polish queers are awesome and should have our stories properly shown. And also it feels like it was written for cis people, while the book definitely knows that it's target audience is trans people and shows love to them in many ways.

Keep in mind that I haven't read the book in a while and I might be mixing details up - I was already planning to reread the book carefully and make a post explaining how the movie fucked it up big time after my finals, I'll make sure to translate it into English so keep an eye out for that in the summer!

Thanks again for asking and reading anon! Cheers<33

(Also Tosiek is a nerd and it's a CRIME there wasn't at least one Hamilton reference because OH BOY do I remember being excited reading a Hamilton reference in one of the books when I was younger and still in my theatre kid who cannot sing act or dance era.)

[julek]

open love letter to every content creator in the witcher fandom: 

this month has been incredible. i’ve seen amazing and creative edits, gorgeous gifsets, stunning fanarts and breathtakingly beautiful fics every day, without fail. be it the witcher appreciation week or inktober — every day i woke up to new incredible content, incredible writers and artists and gifmakers sharing their creations. i’m forever grateful to all of you for making this fandom such an enjoyable and nurturing space, for always encouraging newcomers to share, and making their content known, too, being endlessly supportive of every blog, big or small. to every creator out there, i want you to know: whatever you decide to share with us is more than enough. short fics, long fics; one tiny doodle or a fourteen-panel comic; a single gif or three gifsets. it’s absolutely more than enough, and a gift to us all.

thank you, for bringing life into this fandom. 

[wren-of-the-woods]

Hi! I was wondering if you could make a part two for Kaer Morons fic recs, you don't have to and fell free to ignore this if your busy with other things or just don't wanna do it. Loved the last fic recs for them so much so thank you for that post! I'm happy to just have yoy see this and see my thanks for it :)

Ahh, hello!! I'm so happy you liked my last reclist! I've actually thought about doing a part two of this because I encountered several excellent ones since making that last post, so I spent the morning trawling through my bookmarks and here we go!

A few of these might also be on my other reclists, but they're good and they fit the criteria so I'm mentioning them again! By coincidence, all fics on this list were written before season 2 and thus don't take that canon into account. As always, y'all are more than welcome to chime in with your own recs. I'm always looking for more fics to read!

Without further ado...

Fic Recs: Jaskier and the Kaer Morons (Part 2!)

There Are Other Gifts than Silver by @elder-flower (Rated T, 18k, Geraskier)

Behold the wonderful work of my absolutely amazingly brilliant secret Santa!! Geralt invites Jaskier home to Kaer Morhen for the first time and it’s the sweetest thing ever.

The Path Not Taken by sopses (Rated M, 40k, endgame Geraskier with minor Jaskier/Lambert)

This one was recommended to me in the notes of my last reclist, and it’s really good! After the dragon hunt, Jaskier saves the life of an injured Eskel. It all just sort of escalates from there.

Two wolves, a cat and a bard walk into a tavern by Beginte (Rated T, 6k, Geraskier and Lambden)

Jaskier and Geralt bump into Lambert and Aiden on the way to Kaer Morhen. Awkward meet-the-boyfriend ensues. This one never fails to make me grin — I’ve read it at least twice!

The Witchers’ Bard by operacricket (Rated T, 5k, Geraskier)

While taking care of a group of slavers, Lambert, Eskel, and Vesemir discover a bard in need of rescue. Excellent bard whump and hurt/comfort with a happy ending. Make sure to check the tags!

The Non-Denominational Winter Party by @jackironsidesfic (Rated T, 10k, Geraskier)

Housemates Geralt and Jaskier are hosting their yearly Non-Denominational Winter Party, but somewhere along the way their friends seem to have got the wrong idea. ‘You … know that Jaskier and I are just friends, right?’ A fluffy and hilarious modern AU!

Tumblr Greatest Hits by ohnoesidontknow (Rated M, 9k total, Geraskier and Jaskier/Vesemir)

A group of seven wonderful ficlets collected into one work. Including but not limited to: Eskel and Lambert thinking Jaskier is imaginary, Jaskier knighting Geralt, and Vesemir stealing Geralt’s bard in about five seconds.

Eskel is a Fanboy by @pillage-and-lute (Rated T, 3k, Geralt/Jaskier/Eskel)

In which Jaskier is a famous bard, Eskel is his biggest fan, and Geralt loves them both very much.

Stories on a Page (series) by @jaskiersvalley (Two works - Rated T, 1k, and 2, Geraskier)

An adorable series in which Jaskier discovers the witchers can’t read and decides to teach them. The first work is Geralt, and the second is everyone else.

My Name is Hidden On Your Tongue by anarchycox (Rated T, 10k, Geraskier)

Jaskier’s family is cursed — every male-born child cannot be named, and anyone who tries to refer to them by the names they are given will have an allergic reaction. Only a soulmate speaking your true name aloud will break the curse. Jaskier is determined to break the curse, and what better way to do that than traveling with a witcher?

I Was Pledged to You, To You I Pledge Myself by anarchycox (Rated T, 9k, Geraskier)

When Jaskier is four, his daring escape from a family dinner and subsequent rescue by a witcher results in him becoming betrothed to someone called Geralt of Rivia. The plan is for them to marry when he’s twenty. Scenes from Jaskier's life of meeting every witcher but his betrothed, until one day in a shitty tavern, he finally meets Geralt.

the shape of a pear by @julek (Rated T, 2k, Geraskier with minor Jaskier/Lambert)

Geralt doesn't call Jaskier pet names, so Lambert starts doing it for him. Hilarious!

Sing Me a Song by Arvari (Rated T, 2k, Geraskier and Lambden)

Aiden isn’t dead, but Lambert doesn’t know that. To remedy this, Aiden seeks out Jaskier (who is away from Geralt after the Mountain) to sing a song and let Lambert know he’s alive. Technically, Aiden isn’t a Kaer Moron, but this is just too hilarious not to mention!

Jaskier and Mountains Just Don't Mix by C4t1l1n4 (Rated G, 4k, Geraskier)

Despite the other Witchers' positive reaction to Geralt's bard, Vesemir is reluctant to have a human stay with them at Kaer Morhen so Jaskier attempts to leave and ends up almost freezing to death on the side of the mountain. Excellent hurt/comfort with a happy ending!

Return to Cidaris by pinksugartales (Rated M, 34k, Jaskier/Valdo Marx transitioning into Geraskier)

A modern AU. Valdo returns to his hometown for the first time in years, inadvertently reconnecting with his first love. Jaskier follows his fiancé a week later and finds himself the obstacle to their Christmas love story. At least the man he meets in the little town’s bakery is there to offer him support. Wonderfully depicted relationships. The Kaer Morons aren’t the focus, but their presence is absolutely wonderful!

Bonus:

Hibernating with Ghosts by Fayet (Rated M, 183k, Geraskier)

Another one from the notes of my previous reclist! I haven’t read this one, but have been assured that it’s very good. Jaskier goes to Kaer Morhen and there is both fluff and angst.

~

Part one can be found here! I also have lists of Geraskier feel-better fics and soft Geralt fics.

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon - Trouble Bonus Scene: Interlude 2

More baby!jaskier shenanigans. Set some time after Geralt and Yennefer get him to Kaer Morhen.

Jaskier toddled around Geralt's room, exploring all the nooks and crannies, and trying to put everything in his mouth. It was his third circuit of the room, and he was pretty certain he'd tasted that one fur on the bed already. There was a spot on it that was suspicisously damp. But just in case he hadn't...

"Gross, get that out of your mouth," Coen muttered patiently, pulling the toddler away and picking a few strands of fur out of his mouth. Jaskier sputtered and blew raspberries until Coen put him back down. He babbled and mouthed his little fingers, then grabbed a dust bunny from under the edge of the bed and tried to eat it.

"F***ing-!" Lambert exclaimed, snatching it away at the last minute. "That's disgusting! Sweep under your f***ing bed, Geralt. Da*n, look at the size of that thing!" he held up the admittedly large dust bunny for his brothers to see

Geralt grumbled something under his breath.

Lambert scoffed "B*tch, please! It's literally a ball of dust and white hair. Don't be trying to say it isn't yours!"

"Like the ones under your bed are any smaller, Lambert!" Coen snorted.

"At least I have hair!"

"Not for long if the giant ball of hair in your hair brush is anything to go by."

They continued to argue, and Jaskier toddled off and tested a small chunk of fallen masonry for palatbility. Finding it lacking, he moved on. His chubby legs carried him over to a large metal bucket next to the fireplace. The Witchers were all busy teasing Lambert, so Jaskier tenatively investigated the contents.

It was filled with a gray, fluffy substance that puffed into the air when he patted at it with a pudgy hand. Oooh, that was interesting! He plunged both little hands into the soft, powdery stuff and started stirring it around. It was so soft! And-! The treacherous fluff gusted up into the air with the slightest movement and went up his nose and into his eyes. Jaskier started coughing and choking as more of the ash rose into the air.

The Witchers turned at the commotion, and they all tried to rush to help at the same time. What followed was a domino effect of panic that ened with five Witchers and one baby falling out into the corridor, coughing and cursing, in a cloud of ash and smoke.

Yennefer had heard all the noise from the kitchen, and arrived just as they were picking themselves up off the floor.

"F**k, here she comes!" Lambert hissed when he caught sight of Yennefer. "Geralt, go tell her everything's okay!"

"What are you so afraid of?" Geralt rumbled

"It's Songbird. You know how she gets when it involves Songbird!"

"Oh, calm the h*ll down. It's just a little ash. It's nothing life-threatening!"

"I dunno, my life feels pretty threatened right now!" Coen interjected nervously, watching as Yennefer apporached rapidly.

"Fine," Geralt sighed, "Wait here you cowards. Come on, Julek. Let's go save your uncles from Ma."

Yennefer met Geralt halfway down the corridor.

There were no sarcastic remarks, no shouting, no scathing comments, no blame. Yennefer had quickly learned just how hard it was to keep an eye on an active toddler. It was exhausting, and if your attention wavered for even a split second... Yesterday, in the time it had taken her to f***ing blink, the little sh*t had somehow gotten a hold of a pair of scissors and taken off running.

"He's alright, Yen," Geralt said gently. "He just got into the ash bucket."

Yennefer fussed over Jaskier for a few moments before deciding that Geralt was speaking the truth. Jaskier seemed fine, aside from being caked in ash and occassionally coughing.

Her eyes swept down the hallway to land on the huddled knot of ash-covered Witchers trying to hide by the bedroom door.

It was probably the first sweeping the hallway had seen in decades.

The Witchers subtly moved a little bit closer together and tried to blend in with the wall.

Pillocks! Yennefer thought, almost fondly. "Go get cleaned up," She said to Geralt, trying wipe a smudge of ash off his cheek. It only served to make the smudge worse.

Geralt ignored his brothers' snickering and wiped at his cheek with his sleeve, adding more ash to the mess. He sighed as Yennefer snorted in amusement.

Yennefer slapped his a** as he turned to leave, raising a small cloud of ash. Geralt turned and pulled her into a hug, making sure he got as much ash on her as possible while Jaskier giggled and patted at her hair.

"Ar**hole," Yennefer laughed, pulling away. "Go wash up in the hotsprings. I'll make something hot for you to eat when you are done." She dusted her dress off as best she could and headed back to the kitchen.

Jaskier was all wide eyes and excitement when Geralt carried him down into the hotsprings. He immediately tested the accousitcs of the underground cavern. He found it quite satisfactory and proceeded to squeal and chirp at the top of his little lungs while Geralt got him out of his shirt and trousers.

Geralt ended up sitting with Jaskier in his lap in the shallowest pool while he bathed him.

Eskel handed Geralt the bottle of special soap that Jaskier always used in his hair, and they entertained themselves with giving Jaskier different hairstyles

"You better wash it like Jaskier showed you!" Aiden said to Lambert, who was trying to wash his hair with a cheap bar of soap. "Don't go skipping any steps!"

"F**k off, Aiden!" Lambert snarled, "I'll wash my hair how ever I d*mn well please!"

"You better do it right! Jaskier is watching you. He'll be so disappointed in you." Aiden countered, motioning to Jaskier, who was indeed watching Lambert, and sporting, at the moment, a soapy mohawk. "Yeah, Lambchop," Coen joined in, "It will break his little heart if you don't do it right!"

"You don't want to break his little heart, do you?"

Lambert looked at the tiny bard, his hair now in the shape of the curl on the top of a cone of soft-serve. Jaskier cooed at him questioningly.

F**k...

Lambert's scowl crumbled when he looked into those big blue eyes. He quietly picked up the bottle of good soap and started with Step 1...

Jaskier giggled and splashed in the water after he had been thuroughly scrubbed and rinsed. His eyes had sparkled with wonder when Eskel blew a soap bubble for him. The tiny bard stared at it, cooing and reaching for it. He blinked in surprise when it popped and disappeared. Eskel blew him another one, and smiled happily when he giggled and splashed as he watched it drift.

"You call that a bubble?" Lambert scoffed, coming over. He soaped up his hands and blew a bubble. "Now that's a proper bubble!" He grinned smugly as Jaskier cooed and stared in delight. The other Witchers came over and started blowing bubbles for him too. It quickly became a competition to see who could blow the biggest one.

Coen somehow managed to blow a really big bubble, and set it floating off towards Jaskier.

"That's a f***ing big bubble!" Lambert exclaimed.

Jaskier staring at the marvel of air and soap, said in a questioning tone, "Ba-bol?"

The Witchers lost their sh*t.

Yennefer was in the kitchen checking on the pottage she was making, completely unaware that five wet and very naked Witchers were charging towards her.

The witch turned around and there they were. Standing in a huddle, steaming like a herd of horses fresh from a run. Then she noticed they were bucka** naked. Yennefer saw way more than she wanted to. A bardcore version of "A Chorus of Weiners" started playing in her head.

The song in her head was interrupted when Eskel blurted out excitedly "He said 'bubble'!"

Then Yennefer saw Jaskier, wet and shivering in Geralt's arms. She just about had a coniption. "And that warranted you running naked and soaking wet through the halls in the middle of f***ing winter? You boobs! Have you all lost your d*mn minds?"

The witch snatched Jaskier out of Geralt's arms and quickly wrapped the shivering baby in a towel. "My poor lamb! Look at you shivering!" Yennefer moved to stand closer to the fire so she could start drying him off. She turned and fixed them with the most scathing glare they had ever seen.

The Witchers shuffled uncomfortably, suddenly feeling very exposed.

Yennefer noticed, and decided to be petty and try to make them as uncomfortable as possible. She very pointedly stared. "It's obviously very cold, and yet you pr*cks decide to d*ck around and take a soaking wet baby throught a freezing cold keep in the middle of winter!"

"Go ahead and roll your eyes, Lambert. Maybe you'll roll them back far enough to see if you actually have a brain!"

"Don't laugh at him like you're any better, Eskel. All you've got going for you is a handsome face and big...*glances down, then back up* ...personality."

Yennefer felt just a little bit bad for the way Eskel shifted uncomfortably, confused by the combined insult and compliment. He could handle insults, but compliments made him uncomfortable. He blushed in self-defense.

The scarred Witcher was just a big sweetheart, and had been the first of Geralt's brothers to treat Jaskier as one of their own. He most likely had just been swept up in the f**kery. Yennefer decided to let them off the hook before the poor man spontaneously combusted.

"Ugh! All of you get out, and take those ugly, pruney things with you! Go get poor Julek some dry clothes. And you had better be dressed when you come back!" she shooed them out, taking a moment to admire the view of their retreating backsides. "Ba-bol?" Jaskier asked.

"Yes, my love," Yennefer said with a small smile, watching all the a**cheeks bounce out of the room, "Bubbles."

[lost-ghost-of-kaer-morhen]

"Julek is sweet and gentle petname. It will be perfect to call Dandelion Julek", Geralt thought. That night when Dandelion finished his bedtime routine and lay down next to Geralt, the witcher huged him and whispered: " Good night, Julek". He waited for an answer. Dandelion was silent. Geralt was frightened. He fucked up. " Dandelion? I'm so sorry". Nothing. " Please, tell something. Dandelion?". After a minute of silence the poet spoke:" never call me that again, Geralt", his voice was rough " I'm so sorry...". "We need to sleep... Goodnight Geralt."

On the next morning Geralt woke up in an empty bed. Fuck. Shit. He ruined his friendship with Dandelion. Geralt quickly put his clothes on and only then he noticed Dandelion. He was at their small balcony. Geralt slowly came closer. He didn't dare to look at Dandelion.

Dandelion turned and faced Geralt. "Good morning, darling", he smiled. "Morning ". Dandelion looked at Geralt, sighted. "Dear heart,how do you think why do people change their names and never speak about them anymore?" Geralt swallows. "Because they loathe there past,there life back then. They want to forget it. I've changed my name because I want nothing to remind me about my past". Geralt looked down. Dandelion stepped closer and huged Geralt. "It's ok,love. You didn't mean to hurt me. It is fine now", the poet whispered. "I will never call you like that again. I promise ". "I know darling, I know". Geralt huged him tighter and sobbed. "Oh, no. No tears, my sweet witcher. You're forgiven. I'm not angry with you", Dandelion kissed the top of Geralt's head. "I love you me dear. Everything is fine", Dandelion whispered. Geralt was quite. Quieter than usual. "Alright. Let's go back to bed. You need to rest today", Dandelion took Geralt's hand and guided him to bed. They lay down, Geralt pressed to Dandelion's chest safely. The poet ran his fingers though witcher's hair. "Sorry... I love you so much, Dandelion ", it barely a whisper, but Dandelion heard it anyway. "I know, love,I know. Sleep darling, I will be here,when you wake up "

[commonpigeon]

polish speaking mutuals. julek is a nickname for julian right... so is there a nickname for geralt? sound off in the comments below

[all-hail-the-witcher]

geralt ramsey

I've been screaming about this with @toss-a-coin-to-your-lesbian and @toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account for like days so you've heard of chef!geralt, now get ready for geralt ramsey because I've been watching way too much hells kitchen and kitchen nightmares

-so geralts a witcher. been alive since like the middle ages.

-but the monsters got few and far between and he dabbled in some careers before going to culinary school

-jaskiers especially surprised that he's good at it cause he remembers geralts tasteless campfire rabbit from 1238 thank you Very much

-also no one knows how old he is

-someone asked him on twitter once

-he said “852″

-everyone thought he was joking

-but anyway geralt somehow becomes this Really Good Chef

-hosts hells kitchen, masterchef, masterchef kids, kitchen nightmares, all of them and owns all the restaurants has his fancy lil michelin stars okay he's Good

-everyones scared of him

-he wears his hair in a bun, pen behind the ear

-arms crossed, usually scowling 

-wears a black jacket instead of chefs whites cause jaskier says it makes his “hair pop”

-intimidating To The Max

-but he's secretly the biggest softie

-but no one really knows it

-cause if you undercook his scallops? oh man you're gonna get it

-jaskier kinda thinks its hot

-speaking of jaskier

-hes one of the hosts on great british baking show

-valdo marx is the other

-No One Knows That Jaskier And Geralt Are Together Much Less Married

-jaskier makes them get married in a new place every time it becomes legal there

-geralt hates it but he puts up with it cause it makes jaskier happy

-but anyway

-no one knows they're together

-jaskier cant cook to save his life

-hes essentially the joey batey baking video irl

-every time he cooks geralt says a prayer that he won't get food poisoning

-like gordon does on kitchen nightmares

-jaskiers specialty is dino nuggets

-geralt pretends to hate them but he loves munching them after a long day

- “if word got out that a 16 michelin star chef liked dino nuggets id be done for julek, how dare you even suggest such a thing”

-one time on kitchen nightmares he lets it slip that he has a husband

- “even my husbands food is better than that!!” 

-and immediately goes “fuck”

-the whole internet is like you're MARRIED???? you're GAY??????

-cue hunt for the elusive husband

-jaskier thinks its fucking hilarious

-lambert teases him relentlessly

-there are many theories

-but alas, no one guesses the host of gbb

-one time

-its one of their many anniversaries 

-geralt forgot cause by this point they have at least 150

-that night on hells kitchen he goes “listen up. my husbands here tonight. its our anniversary. don't fuck this up.”

-everyone (including contestants) tries to figure out who the husband could be

-but they cant

-the only person of any remote significance is that hist of gbb sitting in the red kitchens vip booth

-eventually tho it Does come out

-in like

-the most ridiculous way possible

-theres this big fire in one of geralts restaurants 

-on the night he happens to be there

-everyones pretty much fine

-but geralt (along with most of the other kitchen staff) inhaled a fuck ton of smoke

-jaskier shows up just as geralts hacking and trying to sign the waiver to refuse care

-cause hes a “fucking witcher, jaskier. ive survived way worse with your slapdash first aid and back room healers i don't need modern medicine” 

-jaskier is Beside Himself

-meanwhile everyones like tf is the host of gbb doing here

-jaskiers arguing with geralt and everyones like :o cause you Don't do that

- “dear heart. you can’t breathe. you are GOING to the hospital if i have to drag you there myself!”

-everyones like....dear heart????

- “julek-”

- “no! you're my husband!! i fucking care about you, you oaf! modern medicine was invented for a reason!!!”

-everyones like oh. oh my god. that's him. that's the fucking husband.

-and geralts just like

- “i used to fight monsters i can survive some sm-” and then he just starts coughing

-and jaskiers like. instantly soft as heck. 

- “cmon dear heart, lets go talk to the emts, alright? I know you can survive without their help, but it would make me feel so much better if you listened to them.”

- “....fine”

-and jaskier gives him a forehead kiss and wraps his arm around him

-everyones Shocked

-cause it was bakeoff dude all along????

-geralts kinda annoyed 

- “now i gotta share you, julek”

- “there's enough of me to go around”

- “hmm”

- “if you're so annoyed we could always stage a divorce. we can afford one, we are legally married in like 16 countries”

- “no, jaskier”

-lambert teases them about it

- “really geralt? no one had Smoke Inhalation on their betting list for how the world find out you were together! now what are we supposed to do? the pool was like a million bucks!!”

-geralt ignores him

-but after it comes out

-jaskier occasionally surprises geralt at work

-and everyones So Shocked that grrr mean chef geralt is actually so soft with his husband??

-and jasper also talks about geralt on bakeoff 

-he tells cute stories

-i just love this au and i could talk about it for hours okay

[inthebrainofalamb]

do u think maybe this is how fish feel when they swim to the surface and see the full moon for the first time. cuz that’s how i feel

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

And Tomorrow, Too.

I'm back!

Much love and many thanks to @stinastar @hailhailsatan @newnamesamecharlotte and @veritasrose for helping me yank this thing out of my brain!

Please enjoy this hurt/comfort that ends with glorious, glorious fluff.

TW: Blood, canon typical injury, infection

Jaskier was having a very rough day, objectively speaking.

He’d just finished dressing after a dip in the river when a lone bandit surprised him, shoving him to the dirt and kicking him in the ribs to keep him down. Having dealt with a gut-punch from a Witcher, Jaskier had recovered faster than anticipated and tackled the stranger to the ground.

“Foolish troubadour,” the bandit snarled. There was the quick flash of something silver and a sudden white-hot pain shot up the bard’s side from his hip to his ribcage.

“Shit,” Jaskier gasped, clutching desperately at his slashed doublet. The panicked bandit scooped up the largest of the bard’s travel bags and darted into the woods, leaving his bloodied weapon lying atop a pile of leaves beside his victim. When Jaskier pulled his hand away from the wound on his ribcage he grimaced; that was more blood than he’d been hoping to see. “Fucking cock.”

After he stripped to the waist and rinsed off in the river a second time, Jaskier took inventory of himself. The cut started at his left hip and slid up his ribcage to just beneath his left shoulder, and it was practically impossible to bandage; any attempt to wrap the upper half of his injury made him bite his lip to keep from screaming in anguish.

It was agony to move more than a few inches in either direction, since the twisting motion pulled at his torn skin and stung like hellfire. All he could really do was apply a loose poultice of chewed mint leaves to ward against infection and tie his shirt around his torso in lieu of a bandage. His cloak would have to work even harder than usual to keep him warm until Geralt arrived.

“Alright, well,” he muttered to no one as he accounted for the rest of his scattered clothing and supplies. “I need to find somewhere to rest and gather what wits I still possess… somewhere that’s still close enough for Geralt to find me. Shit, this isn’t good.”

The bard thanked every god he knew when he managed to find a small cave less than a hundred yards from the enormous oak tree where he met Geralt every year. He limped his remaining belongings into the slightly cramped space and deposited them against the left wall.

---

Fortunately for Jaskier, the idiot bandit had declared his beautiful elven lute “too bulky and annoying to carry”, and had left Sexy well enough alone. Unfortunately, the ruffian had still made off with all the bard’s coin from at least two months’ worth of contracted performances, most of his medical supplies, and most of his rations, as well.

But Jaskier had spent years at Geralt’s side and the Witcher had taught him how to deal with emergencies of every variety. Jaskier wasn’t about to disappoint his companion by flailing about ineffectively like some noble-born dunce at a time like this. No, Jaskier was determined to be healthy and ready to travel again by the time Geralt arrived in Kaedwen to find him. They only had a week or two together before they separated again for the winter and he wasn’t going to lose a single precious second in Geralt’s presence due to some silly highwayman.

Lovelorn fool that he was.

The bard used his remaining strength to gather a few armfuls of firewood and light some dried leaves with his flint and steel. He laid out his bedroll against the back wall so that he could see clearly if anyone approached from outside and wrapped his arms around Sexy to keep her safe. He re-wrapped his wound with more crushed mint and laid down to try and get some sleep.

Hopefully Geralt would arrive soon with his medical supplies and more water.

Hopefully.

---

After two long days spent huddled in a miserable lump at the back of the cave, anxiously scanning the horizon for any sign of another bandit (or Geralt) and unable to gather food or kindling, Jaskier was exhausted from lack of sleep. The wound in his side ached and burned far worse than it had on that first afternoon, aggravated by sweat and debris that had crept through his makeshift bandages.

Any added pressure around the edges of the cut made the skin nearly creak with the building strain of infection. He whimpered involuntarily every time he took a breath and trembled at any shift in the autumn breeze. It seemed as if his very bones were aching as his body flashed between the white-hot and freezing cold of a raging fever.

Slowly, and with a great effort on the part of his illness, Jaskier succumbed to the injury and sank into the quiet warmth of unconsciousness.

---

“Jaskier?” Geralt called, guiding Roach around another circuit of the old oak tree. “Are you there, Jaskier? We need to make it to the fork in the Pontar before the harvest ends and I’m in no mood for practical jokes.”

Nothing.

All his Witcher hearing picked up on were leaves twitching in the wind and a few rabbits foraging off to his left. Not even Jaskier could stay so still, even for a joke; his heartbeat and the uptick in his breathing would give him dead away.

“Well, I’m going to town.”

Geralt was about to wheel Roach back toward the road in search of a nearby inn when he caught a whiff of something on the wind - something that sent his heart plummeting into his boots.

Blood.

Jaskier’s blood. And it wasn’t fresh.

He dropped silently from the saddle and gave the signal for Roach to stay put. After a few careful breaths and some shuffling through the autumn leaves, Geralt discovered the bandit’s discarded dagger, still rusty-red around the tip and left edge.

“Fuck! Jaskier!” Geralt called, glancing around the small copse in the woods. “Jaskier, where are you!?”

The Witcher closed his eyes and tilted his head back to better clear his airways. He took a deep breath in through his nose and focused every one of his heightened senses on locating the bard. There it was again to his right, but slightly stronger. “Fucking hells.”

Geralt did his best to follow the trail without panicking. It wouldn’t do either of them any good if he lost his head while the bard was in mortal danger. If the bard was in mortal danger, he tried to reassure himself.

But if Jaskier had recovered he would have been waiting at the oak. Geralt knew that. He knew it with every fiber of his being, though he wouldn’t admit anything aloud. Jaskier’s long autumn absence had already set him on edge when he’d caught the blood-smell. “Gods-dammit, bard. Please be alive. Please, Jaskier, I can’t-”

Geralt bit his tongue and continued to follow the bard’s weak scent into the woods. After too many minutes - perhaps five or six at the speed Geralt was moving - the Witcher reached a small cave. The mouth of said cave was nearly covered-over with dry leaves and Geralt could tell, even from this distance, that Jaskier was not faring well at all. The whole area smelled like rot. Like decay. If it weren’t for the bard’s fluttering heartbeat echoing faintly from within the tiny cavern, the Witcher would have fallen to his knees and wept with despair at his untimely death.

When Geralt ducked inside and reached to pull Jaskier into his arms, the bard struggled weakly. “No, please,” he rasped. “D-Don’t kill me.”

“I’m not going to kill you, Jaskier,” Geralt replied softly. He shifted the thick leather strap of Sexy’s case over his shoulder and hefted the bard into his arms in one swift movement. Those usually brilliant blue eyes looked up at him in utter confusion. The irises were dull and foggy with sickness; the Witcher’s heart lurched in his chest and he turned back to the path, doubling his speed in his hurry to reach Roach. “You don’t have to worry any more, sweet Julek. I’m going to get you to safety.”

“If you must kill me-” Jaskier continued, muttering frantically as if Geralt hadn’t said anything at all “-then p-please do me one last f-favor. I need you to p-please find a Witcher. F-Find the White Wolf. Tell h-him… Tell him that I…”

Then the weight in Geralt’s arms seemed to increase by a fraction and the bard went silent. The Witcher shook the sweating, shaking bundle in his arms but Jaskier remained quiet.

“What do you want to tell him, Jaskier?” Geralt glanced down. His eyebrows furrowed deeply when he realized the human had fallen unconscious. The hummingbird pace of Jaskier’s fluttering heartbeat began to hammer even faster and his breaths were far too shallow. The Witcher rumbled out a determined, desperate plea the universe to save his darling songbird, followed by a quiet but emphatic, “Fuck.”

---

“Eskel!” Geralt kicked down the door to the kitchen of Kaer Morhen with one solid boot. He hadn't slept in two days and his body ached from sprinting up the path with a full-grown man in his arms. “Eskel, Vesemir, please!”

“Fuck, is that Geralt!?” Eskel came whipping around one corner at a sprint. Lambert and Vesemir were close behind, Lambert with a sword drawn and a scowl on his face. He lowered it when he saw that Geralt wasn't being pursued.

“Please, Ves, Eskel, please, help him to survive because I can’t- I can’t-” the White Wolf, for all his bravado and stoicism, was panting furiously. His kinsmen knew that he'd be crying if he had the capability to do so and crowded closer to help. Geralt immediately handed a warm, damp bundle to his Eskel with incredible gentleness and care. He looked up at the slightly taller Witcher and begged with all the strength he had left: “Please. I can't let him die.”

---

Jaskier woke up with a sharp gasp. His side radiated a dull, persistent kind of agony and he felt sick to his stomach. With a low groan he turned to retch off the side of the bed, into a conveniently placed bucket. He shouted when the movement made his wound ache all the more. “Fuck!”

The bard heard a heavy thud from his left followed by some clattering and a quietly whispered, “Shit.”

“G’ralt?”

“Jaskier!” the Witcher appeared at his side in a flash. Geralt leaned over him with a damp cloth in hand and wiped at the corners of his mouth. “You’re alive! Melitele be thanked. Do you need to be sick again? Would you like some water?”

“You’re o-oddly verbose,” Jaskier managed to half-smile.

“Was worried.”

“There’s my monosyllabic Witcher,” the bard grinned through his blinding pain. “It hurts, Geralt. Rather terribly.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I don’t- We’re all Witchers so it’s not…” Geralt sighed and turned away to rinse the cloth in a bowl of cool water that had been resting on the sill. “We didn’t know which kind of herbs were safe for humans and which weren’t.”

“We?”

“How’s the patient?”

Jaskier's snapped to the doorway and his body automatically jerked in surprise. He whimpered at the reaction it elicited from his injury, his ribs blooming with a sharp sting. “Shit!”

“Fuck!” the red-headed man in the door replied, slamming his hands over his face. “I’m so sorry. Shit in the fucking nine hells.”

“Uh…”

“Jaskier, this is my brother Lambert. Lambert… This is Jaskier.”

“Ah yes,” the shorter Witcher smirked. “I’ve heard so much about you, Master Jaskier.”

“That I’m a royal pain in the ass?”

“Quite the opposite, really. In fact, when the two of you arrived, Geralt was nearly-”

Lambert’s statement was interrupted by a small wooden bowl to the side of the head, chucked across the room by a grim-faced Geralt.

“Nevermind. Anyway, glad to see you’re awake. I’ll let the others know that he's no longer going hand-to-hand with Death.”

“Others?” Jaskier glanced between Geralt and Lambert with wide, confused eyes. “Am I… Am I in Kaer Morhen!?”

“Aye,” Lambert winked. “And you slept through the first two days of snowfall, so I’m afraid to inform you that you’re stuck at Kaer Morhen for the rest of this season. I’ll let you and Geralt hash the rest of the details out in private. Tootles, Buttercup.”

And just as suddenly as Lambert had appeared, he was gone.

The bard turned to make eye contact with the White Wolf and blinked owlishly. “Wh-What did he mean about being here all winter?”

“I’m afraid he wasn’t lying,” Geralt returned to the stool beside Jaskier’s bed and sat down slowly, as if waiting for Jaskier to order him out of the room entirely. “Your injury was heavily infected and you were close to death when I found you in that cave at the base of the mountains. I ran the Killer in two days instead of one and brought you to Eskel and Vesemir for healing; they were the closest people I could think of who knew what to do to save you. I’m so sorry for trapping you here for the season when you should be teaching and composing in Oxenfurt. If you’d like, I can try to contact Yen or Triss and have them portal you back to the University before Yule.”

“Nobody would want to inconvenience a sorceress on their behalf,” Jaskier answered. "Myself included."

“So you don’t mind staying?”

Jaskier glanced up through his lashes, more self-conscious than Geralt had ever seen him before. “Were you really worried about me dying? Did you really carry me up the path all by yourself? In two days?”

“...Yes.”

“Why?”

Geralt felt his heart shatter to pieces in his chest. All these years spent thinking that if he was too obvious about his feelings he’d hurt Jaskier... and Jaskier had simply been waiting for any confirmation of his affections, friendly or otherwise.

"Because I..." the Witcher stood again and started to pace. "Because, Julek, I love you. I can't bear the thought of being parted from you. It's even worse because I know, I know that you're human and that I'm going to lose you too soon no matter what happens. Illness, age, injury... No matter how many years we have together they will never be enough."

Jaskier sniffled and Geralt turned on his heel to face the bard, hands already outstretched to offer comfort. "You enormous fucking idiot."

"Huh?"

"I have loved you since the moment I saw you sitting in the corner, brooding away," Jaskier grinned. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks and dripped onto the blanket. "Why didn't you tell me? You couldn't even look me in the eyes and call me your friend..."

"Witchers aren't very good at romance, if you haven't noticed," Geralt laughed humorlessly. "I knew I was going to hurt you eventually. It was only a matter of time."

"Well now we have all winter to figure things out," Jaskier offered, sliding his hand across the mattress to twine his fingers with Geralt's. The Witcher's skin was cool against his own and it felt glorious.

"Hmm."

"No! No going silent on me now, you fucker!"

"Get some rest," Geralt smiled, leaning forward to press a kiss to Jaskier's sweaty fringe. "I will be here when you wake."

"And tomorrow, too?"

Geralt smiled oh-so-softly and kissed him again, on the lips.

"And tomorrow, too."

[izzy-hands]

Can I ask why some people call jaskier julek in fanfics?

sure! from what i understand (bear in mind i do not speak polish), it's a diminutive name for julian in polish? which is done by adding an 'ek' in the end? so, shortening to 'jul' and adding the 'ek'. basically a pet name, so it's usually used fondly. <3

i think this post explains it pretty well. :D

[ao3-bookmarks]

I posted 186 times in 2022

63 posts created (34%)

123 posts reblogged (66%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ao3feed-geralt-jaskier

@wanderlust-t

@yeraskier

@julek

@horsedadgeralt

I tagged 185 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#geraskier - 119 posts

#the witcher - 88 posts

#not ao3 - 32 posts

#not ao3 link - 29 posts

#bowluigi - 12 posts

#mario bros - 11 posts

#reyder - 11 posts

#mass effect - 10 posts

#hades - 7 posts

#the mummy - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 71 characters

#henry's face will always be the appearance in my mind in geraskier fics

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

 “Cirilla, move out of my way.” Jaskier tried to look threatening but all it did was make the princess more insistent. She mimicked his pose, glaring up at him.

“You can’t leave,” Ciri said. She stomped her foot in front of her for emphasis. “Geralt would be upset and Yennefer -” Ciri stopped herself.

10 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

#4

Oh.

The potion.

Geralt realized it still hasn't wore off. Meaning that his eyes were still black as an abyss and his skin was pale, covered in a spiderweb of dark veins. In that moment, feeling very self conscious, Geralt lowered his head, staring at the floor.

And then he noticed Jaskier, standing just a few feet away. Panic started growing in the Witcher's gut.

Jaskier turned his head to look around the room, confused at the sudden quiet and whispering. And then his eyes met Geralt's. Geralt froze in place.

In that second, all he could see in the room was Jaskier. His Jaskier.

10 notes - Posted February 13, 2022

#3

Now Sokka was confused. Why would Zuko say something like that about himself? “Well, I want to get to know you. Maybe I won’t hate you as much as you think.”

“Just take my word for it.” Zuko scowled.

“But I don’t want to take your word for it! I really like you and I want to spend more time with you.”

“You like me?” Zuko asked that question with disgust and doubt. “What could you possibly like about me?”

11 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

#2

“Okay…” Sokka’s eyebrows knitted together. “And she smells bad, or what?”

Zuko huffed irritatedly. “She’s, like, a hundred years old and when she talks it’s barely a whisper. And I can’t keep asking her to speak up but  I can’t hear her for shit.” He almost rolled his eyes at Sokka’s quizzical look. “I mean…” He gestured to his disfigured ear. “It’s fucking melted, Sokka.”

“So, like… no hearing in that ear at all?”

“Nope.” Zuko was determinedly not meeting his friend’s eyes, shuffling scrolls and papers into some semblance of an order. Logically, he knew that Sokka was never cruel or hateful, but also… he couldn’t bear to see the respect and friendship on Sokka’s face be clouded with pity. 

13 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

“I thought you told them last winter or something!”

“I didn’t—I wasn’t planning to ask you— fuck!”

“Wait, wait a goddamn minute. You just asked me out of the blue? Geralt! Did you impulsively ask me to come with you without even discussing it with the other Witchers!?”

“I guess?”

17 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Pomegranate Seeds 3

well we got some BIG projecting going on here. if yall didn’t know i had mommy issues before, you sure as fuck do now 😂😂😂

Warnings: insecure Jask, allusions to verbally abusive/manipulative parents, lmao rebellious jask, good ole miscommunication between jask and geralt - but solved quickly, lol swearing

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Letter after letter reached Jaskier in the underworld, and time after time, he destroyed them. He didn’t tell Geralt, telling himself it was because the ruler of the underworld had more important things to deal with. He didn’t want to admit he was scared Geralt would send him packing. 

Eventually, Demeter resorted to threats. Threats of famine that she followed through on. She underestimated just how like her Jaskier was, though. He didn’t dignify her tantrum with a response. 

When she sent messengers, he started to worry.

He told Charon to alert him, not Geralt, if another god or goddess came to visit, even one of the more senior demigods. He didn’t want to take any chances. Geralt didn’t need to know anyway. 

But Geralt noticed something was off.

Jaskier would say he was tired, or he couldn’t perfect a specific verse of the song he was writing. Usually it worked, but it was only ever a salve, never a cure, for Geralt’s suspicions. 

“What’s wrong, love?” Geralt cradled him in his lap, lounging in the now lavish courtyard under the pomegranate tree Jaskier had brought back from the brink of death. 

Jaskier nuzzled closer, “I’m just ti-”

“No, I asked you what’s wrong,” Geralt insisted, giving him a gentle squeeze and placing a kiss to the top of his head. 

“It’s nothing,” Jaskier lied, hoping the sigh he accidentally let slip didn’t register, “You don’t need to worry about it.” 

Geralt hummed and went quiet for a moment before he curled a bit tighter around Jaskier and whispered, “Do you want to go home?” 

Jaskier scrambled up, sputtering and terrified, “Did she get to you?!” When Geralt just looked at him with an unreadable expression he started to panic, feeling hot tears welling up in his eyes as he did his best to keep his voice steady, “Don’t send me back. Please, Geralt. Anything but that.”

“I’d never,” Geralt soothed, standing and hesitantly reaching for Jaskier’s hand. 

He eyed the offer warily, sniffing and trying to calm himself, “Then why would you say that?”

“I thought you were unhappy. You’ve been… acting strange.” 

Jaskier ignored Geralt’s outstretched hand, choosing to wrap himself around Geralt’s torso and bury his face in the crook of his neck, “I’m sorry. I’ll be better tomorrow. It’s just, uhm. I’m just a bit off.” 

Geralt instinctively held him tighter, “Jaskier I want you to be happy, not ‘better’.”

Jaskier just hummed, swallowing back his unshed tears. 

“Who were you talking about?”

For a moment, Jaskier had to remind himself to breathe before he could respond, “Hm?”

“You asked if someone had ‘gotten’ to me?”

Tears spilled regardless of Jaskier’s best efforts, “My mother. She wants me to come back. She’s been sending letters and messengers.”

“And you don’t want to?” 

“Never,” Jaskier insisted, “This is the most freedom I've ever had. I don’t have to hide in the treetops to feel any sense of calm, I get to make decisions, I make things grow when I want, for whom I want.”

Geralt ran a hand over his hair, resting it at the base of his skull and brushing his thumb through the little hairs behind his ear, “You don’t ever have to leave. I love you. I want you here.” 

“I love you too,” Jaskier whispered, “I’m just scared.” 

Geralt gently pushed him back just enough to look into his eyes, “There’s a way you could stay forever…”

The hopeful glint in his eyes told Geralt everything he needed to know, so he continued, “If you eat even one pomegranate seed you will be tethered to the underworld. You can stay and do whatever pleases you. But it is irreversible. One bite and your fate is forever tied to this place.” 

Jaskier thought about it for a moment, searching Geralt’s eyes for something, anything, that could make the decision for him, “I could never leave?” 

“Only if the both of us willed it and only for a short time,” Geralt explained, tenderly wiping his tears away, “I could never keep you here if you were miserable. Try as I might to think about anything else, your happiness consumes much of my thoughts.” 

“Hmm,” Jaskier leaned into Geralt’s touch, turning his head to kiss his palm, “Do I need to decide right now?”

Geralt kissed his forehead, “Of course not. It’s just an option.”

“Okay,” Jaskier sighed, curling his fingers around the robes cascading down Geralt’s back, “I like it - the idea. I just… I want to take my time?” 

“Absolutely.”

-

Time wasn’t something Jaskier was allowed apparently. 

The two of them were just climbing out of a lovely bath when a chattering skeleton announced the arrival of a visitor. 

Demeter stood in the throne room with her back turned to them, examining one of the glowing diamonds when they entered. She looked so small, almost insignificant. Her hair was in an intricate braid, she wore a cream toga, adorned with gold that made her look more like a savior than the horror she really was. 

Jaskier gripped Geralt’s hand tightly and pulled them to a halt, knowing very well Demeter wanted him to speak first. It was a stand off he was familiar with. If he spoke first she had the upper hand, hearing his tone and picking apart his words. She always knew how particular her son was with words. 

“Julek. It’s time to go.”

Her voice echoed off the stone walls as she calmly stated her order, not even bothering to turn and look at him. 

Jaskier took a deep breath and squeezed Geralt’s hand, not looking at him for fear of crying, “No.” 

“Playtime is over. You have duties. The humans did not prepare for you to leave. They’re calling it winter,” she snorted as if the idea was as ridiculous as standing on your head in a temple. 

Jaskier grit his teeth, feeling the rage bubble up in his chest, “I don’t care.”

“Clearly,” She rounded on him with a condescending look of disappointment, “It doesn’t matter if you care. They’re still your responsibility.” 

Jaskier took a step forward, “A responsibility you assigned me. You fixed it before, fix it now.”

“I cant.” 

“Tough shit.”

Jaskier wasn’t sure how any of his words were coming out without sounding absolutely hysterical, but he was glad for it. He glared at her, daring her to try again while internally he was scrambling for a plan.

“For this particular magic, I need you. Seasons will take more work than a year round harvest, but you have set them off nonetheless.” Demeter’s voice was softer than usual, though Jaskier didn’t miss the incincerity of her words. She’d raised him. He knew her, probably better than she knew herself for all the introspection she refused to take part in, and he knew she was playing games. 

"Oh? Are you no longer capable?" Jaskier laughed bitterly as he turned to walk toward the courtyard, "The great goddess of plenty and harvest can't sustain what she's built? Unfortunate. I am good at what I do here. I am so good at caring about the souls that end up in our audience-"

"Our!?"

"DONT interrupt me," Jaskier shouted, turned and stomped his heel into the ground making vines burst forth from the marble beneath them, wrapping around Demeter's waist and mouth, "I have also found I'm rather adept at torture when necessary. I love it down here! I love being able to right wrongs and show the righteous to Elysium. I love having a purpose to my actions, not just being someone's unappreciated trophy! And I love Geralt. He treats me so well and loves me so sweetly and wants only to make me happy. Nothing about your 'seasons' and 'bringing life' interests me in the slightest, Demeter. Because that's not who I am. I am rage and justice and I am to be feared, not manipulated. Take your failing crops and go." Jaskier waved a hand dismissively and the vines disappeared back into the ground. 

Without looking back, he strode toward the pomegranate tree in the center of the garden, plucking a fruit from the nearest branch and turning to glare at his mother. Geralt was hot on his heels, glancing between the two but keeping quiet. Jaskier had told him he wanted to confront her himself, without her thinking he’d been told what to say. So Geralt stood by and seethed. 

Jaskier pulled a knife from the holster in Geralt’s belt and sliced a nice section out of the pomegranate. 

“Don’t you dare.” Demeter snarled, standing at the edge of the courtyard. 

Jaskier smirked and peeled the white fiber from the blood red seeds with a casual sigh, “I don’t think your opinion matters much here.” 

Jaskier flipped the knife in the air and caught it by the blade, maintaining eye contact with Demeter as he handed it back to Geralt.

“Are you sure?” Geralt’s voice was just a whisper as he took the blade.

Jaskier picked a particularly dark red seed from it’s home and turned to look at him, “There’s absolutely nowhere else I’d rather be, my love.” 

With that he popped the seed in his mouth.