#journal-entry

[not-the-exception]

You will be in my heart forever, my boy.

Our kitten passed away last night and my heart is shattered.

He was only 5 months, making it even more heartbreaking. He was still a baby.

I can't even fully cry about it with other people especially my family because I feel like I was most responsible. I should've been a better owner. I should've taken better care of him. I shouldn't have brushed off the early signs that he was sick. I should've known better.

I am very disappointed with myself. He even waited for me to get home last night before he passed but I couldn't even go near him. I didn't even hold him for the last time that he was still alive. I was a coward. Instead, I hid in my room and waited for I don't know what.

I can't even say that I love him. Just that I will miss him. I don't think I have the right to claim that I loved him because I should've taken better care of him if I did.

I can't even claim to have loved him.

I am so crushed and I can't even express it because of the guilt. I am guilty. I am the most at fault for his passing and I am very sorry.

I am so sorry, my love. You deserved so much more than the short life that you lived. I am sorry you had to go through so much pain before leaving. I'm sorry I couldn't bring myself to hold you for the last time last night. I'm sorry I couldn't even see you get buried. I am so sorry. You are my only regret in life. I will forever regret losing you like this. I will forever miss you.

Run free now, my love. Have a fun time there in heaven. Please be happy. I will miss your morning massages. I will miss kissing you when I get home. I will miss your smell, your warmth, and your softness. I will miss you more than anyone and anything in my life. I will always think of you.

August 28, 2024

[panphila]

sometimes i daydream about running off to the beach. i think about the feeling of running straight towards the ocean, nevermind the sand i hate so much. i imagine what it's like feel the first dip with the toes, then to the knees, further and further, to gain depth. i daydream that i enter deep into the ocean with my eyes meeting the horizon, to be carried away by the waves cool grip, to fall under, to be free from it all.

[wormspoodle]

i think they are so silly

[healing-is-cool]

You are going to laugh until your stomach hurts again. You're going to be in awe of a sunset. Watch your favorite show while you eat your favorite food. Find money on the street. Discover a great band you haven't heard of before. You will find your way back.

[ashen-vulture]

I’ve had to block more pornbots in the last 48 hours than I have basically the entire rest of time I’ve spent on Tumblr.

Have they become hungrier or less discerning or what? 

I’m pretty sure they’re pornbots, at least. If they’re twitter refugees still filtering into tumblr then they clearly haven’t taken ANY welcome-to-tumblr advice because it’s all empty blogs with generic underwear/swimsuit model looking headers.

[orpiknight]

Awhile back, I was doing some research that led me to Neil Gaiman's online journal. But as I was looking through old posts for it, I got very distracted by an entry from 2008.

https://journal.neilgaiman.com/2008/02/102-pages-so-far.html

I’m going to need you all to scroll down to the bottom of that entry. Please.

[cozybao]

love is stored in the journal! scans of my little journal documenting my japan trip across 12 days :> featuring food packaging, photobooth pictures, tickets, and stuff i picked up from the ground 🍀

read it here

[chriskotiesen]

a fragment of a dream I had in 2013

[sweatermuppet]

written dec 16 2023. ID in alt description

[not-the-exception]

No man can love me unconditionally, and neither can I.

After multiple attempts at falling in love, I got to this conclusion.

No man can ever love me unconditionally.

For a man to even be interested in me and pursue me, I have to be thin but not too thin. I still need to have either a big ass or boobs. I have to be spending time at the gym, eating healthy, and making sure I always look pretty. I need to be the kind of girl that he can brag to his friends about.

For a man to like me, I have to make him feel likable too. I need to know how to comfort him and compliment him. I need to recognize his qualities and make them seem like they're so unique. I need to make him feel like he's the man that I like the most out of all my other options.

I need to have multiple options so that he feels like he has won. If I don't have other choices, he'll feel like I'm not valuable enough. There should be enough challenge for him to pursue me. It can't be too easy for him.

For a man to love me, I have to be less accomplished, make less money, and be less intelligent than him. I also can't have better or healthier friendships and family relationships, or else he will feel insecure.

Oh, I almost forgot. The sex has to be really good so maybe he won't cheat on me.

And for those same reasons, I can't fall in love with a man. I also can't love a man unconditionally. I can't fall in love knowing that I am only "loved" because of a list of superficial reasons and ideal conditions.

But I want to fall in love. I am made to love. I also want to get married and have kids. And I will get married and have kids. I will not marry for love, but that's okay. I will fall in love with my kids.

And so I will choose a decent man - someone who is attractive but not too self-absorbed. He should have his own house and car and earn enough for our family to go on a proper vacation at least once a year. While it would be nice if he's rich, it's more important that he treats me and our kids well. I'm okay if he doesn't love me unconditionally.

If you're a woman who may decide not to pursue motherhood, it's important to embrace self-love and care. This choice should not be seen as selfish, especially considering the limited societal choices women often face. Embracing self-love means acknowledging and accepting oneself unconditionally. You fall in love with yourself instead.

Maybe I'll just get to experience true love through art, movies, music, and literature. It's much more beautiful and at least it will live forever.

August 16, 2024 - Friday

[panphila]

at work, i met with someone who i'm not very close to at all but occasionally interact with, and they told me they were happy that the new role i got was offered to me instead of someone outside the company. it really touched me because they said it unprovoked. i then thought, for a moment, how people reached out to me when it was announced i was switching roles (instead of leaving or being fired for my program closing). for a brief moment, i reflected that some pretty important people chose to let me know they were glad i was staying, they didn't have to say those things. i don't know if i believe i deserve any of the sentiments, but maybe for just this moment- i will be thankful.

[szynkaaa]

His travel companion asked him if it really was necessary to kill every single enemy they encounter, so he decided to push the yaoguai back into the ground

based on the One Piece scene with Luffy and a zombie

[dalekinapaintedparadise]

Another reason to cry about the Temperance ending: Johnny feels like V is still out there somewhere.

[sweetlikemonie]

𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆

word count: 1.3k

content warnings: 18+ minors dni, early morning off the wake up sex, choking, unprotected sex (wrap it up), cream pie, dirty talk, use of mama, mami, baby & daddy twice (2x), connie refers to your pussy as “she” once.

author’s note: a drabble (that was rushed and got a bit longer than intended), loosely based off this tweet as well as an experience of mine cause i miss him 🥲 decided to go with connie for this. first post tho lmk how y’all like it lol.

You stirred awake at the sound of Connie’s 4am alarm, signaling he had to leave soon. He was always on the road doing whatever he did for work, but never missed the opportunity to push up on you when he could. Though you were awake, you could still hear the faint snoring of him behind you. You hated when those damn alarms woke up everyone else but the person they were supposed to.

“Con, your alarm.” You reached your arm back to push at his chest, though a feeble ass attempt because you were still half asleep. It must’ve worked since you felt him turn over to hit the snooze on his phone, before feeling his tattooed arm wrap around your shoulders, and the other your waist; pulling you tight against his chest.

“Morning mama. You sleep good?” His deep voice spoke against the side of your neck, placing a small kiss where his face rested. You nodded as you whispered back, “Good morning. You woke me up.”Feeling your skin heat up at the sound of his morning voice. He didn’t have to do much of anything to turn you on, he could be making himself a sandwich and you’d immediately feel a wetness pooling in your underwear. And it was definitely mutual, Connie was infatuated with you. He would live in your skin if he could.

Your hips started to shift as you rocked back against his pelvis, flashbacks of just a few hours earlier with his face between your legs hitting you like a pound of bricks. His free hand pressed moved slowly from your waist to the outside of your underwear, groaning to himself softly at the feeling of how damp and warm they felt. He loved how you were always so wet for him.

“I’m sorry mami.” He kissed at your neck again, his hand trailing slowly down your chest, fingers tracing your nipples, and his neck kisses turning into slow sucking. “What’re you doing? Don’t you need to leave Connie?” You spoke through low moans, trying to navigate all of the sensations at once. You felt him literally everywhere.

Connie chuckled lowly, pausing at his assault on your neck. “I gotta be in you before I go. I feel you pushing back on me baby, just lift that leg up for daddy.”

You do as you’re told, lifting your leg and wrapping your arm under your thigh. Connie released himself from his boxers, his morning wood standing tall and thick hitting against his stomach.

His dick was just as pretty as the rest of him. Tan at the base and shaft, with a slight pink tip that burned red whenever he was hard as a rock. He wasted no time as he slipped inside of you, the stretch was painful but oh so satisfying. It had been a minute since y’all had last seen each other, but he knew you’d get used to him in no time.

Connie’s hips rocked in and out at a slow pace so you could feel every vein and inch he had to offer. A hand came to wrap around your neck, the restriction of airflow causing you to grip his girth tightly. His lips rested against the side of your neck. “I missed digging this pussy out. She always gets so fucking sloppy for me.” He grunted, you were literally dripping down his dick, your wetness starting to fall on your thighs the more he fucked into you.

Your eyes were shut in pure bliss. Moans and whimpers slipping out of your mouth quietly, you tried to not make too much noise but you loved talking nasty to him back. It made him nut quicker and fuck better.

“You making me feel so good baby. R-right there.” His hand reached around to toy around with your clit, rubbing slow but rough circles that begin to make your head spin.

“Yeah? Don’t hold back from me.” You could hear him smirking behind you before he swiftly pulled out. You huffed at the sudden loss before you felt him turn you to face him and lift both of your legs to your chest, the pudge of your tummy and the fat of your pussy peaking through the little sliver of space between your thighs. “Hold them hands right there and look at me.” He spoke lowly, your eyes flicking up to his intimidating gaze.

Connie held your eye contact for a few seconds before he looked back down at your pussy, letting a big glob of spit fall from his lips to your clit. He immediately pressed his tip against your clit, stroking back and forth making you to throw your head back.

Plat! Plat! Plat! was the sound of his spit and your slick mixed together as he repeatedly knocked the head of his dick against your clit. “That feel good don’t it mami? You want it?” You nodded your head, with a bat of your eyelashes and bottom lip in between your teeth. “I want it baby. I want you in me so bad.” How could he say no to that face of yours?

He slipped in again, a loud hiss leaving his mouth as he eased into your wetness. He wasted no time as his pace quickened and deepened in you. His hands rested on the back of your thighs, pushing your legs against your chest so you had no choice but to take his harsh and deep strokes. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer to you, lips touching the outside of his ear. You could feel yourself getting closer to your climax and you wanted him to hear every bit of it.

“I’m gonna cum daddy. All on that dick.” You muttered lowly, licking the shell of his ear. You felt Connie shudder inside of you, his pace faltering just for a second before he got back in his zone. He began angling his hips, planning to reach a spot deeper inside you, he refused to let you one up him. “Yeah? Finna make a mess? Wet me up I wanna feel that shit. ” His hand gripped at your jaw, lifting your head up to bring your lips to his. He kissed you sloppily, tongue darting out to swipe across your bottom lip.

You felt a pressure building up in your stomach, you were so close you could taste it. His hand found your clit again, rubbing steadily at your clit, sloppy kisses being placed on your neck. He drilled relentlessly at your g-spot.

You panted heavily, your hands gripping tightly at the sheets. “Fuck baby! M’cumming!” You cried out, back arching off the bed, your eyes fluttering as you creamed all over him. It was the hardest you had ever came.

He continued his pace, the feeling of you clenching against him so tightly triggering his release sooner than he planned. “Shit pretty. You gone let me cum in that pussy? I don’t wanna pull out.”

You nodded mindlessly. “Gimme that nut baby.” You don’t know what came over you. Sex talk was definitely dangerous and put you in sticky situations but you’d think about the consequences to your actions later. All you cared about in that moment was feeling everything Connie had to give you.

It was all the confirmation he needed before he gave you a few more strokes, each one getting more sloppier than the last, letting you know he was close to cumming. “Ah s-shitttt!” He hissed lowly, shallowly stroking as he released the rest of his load into you. He pulled out of you slowly, watching his cum pour out of you right behind him. You both lay there limp and naked, panting softly as you came down from your highs.

“Am I forgiven mami?” Connie broke the silence after a few minutes. When you didn’t respond immediately he glanced over at disheveled appearance, chest rising slowly as you snored slightly. He chuckled as pulled the covers against your body. “Put that ass to sleep.”

[delreysheartshapedsunglasses]

Jacqueline Kennedy, journal entry about JFK after his death (1963)

[gratefulgirlies]

Sit down at your desk.

open the book, start reading.

you don’t understand. yet you MUST figure this out to pass the exam.

it’s painful to think about it.

EMBRACE THE PAIN.

feel the uncomfortableness and run towards it.

you have what it takes, stop doubting yourself.